#it's here it's finally here it's finally come onto my dashboard

[latetaektalk]

love to hate you | jjk [vii]

“when obnoxiously rich and spoiled frat boy jeon jungkook comes up to you one day and asks you to fake date him for money, you definitely should have said no. because before you knew it, you were going on insta dates with him and having lunch with his equally obnoxiously rich and spoiled friends.”

— genre: sexual themes, angst, fluff, fratboy! AU, fake dating! AU, college! AU, rich kid! AU, enemies to lovers! AU

— pairing: jungkook x female reader

— word count: 17.966

— warnings: swearing/cursing, alcohol consumption, jealousy, no communication skills whatsoever

— playlist: to be added

— a/n: after almost two years of no update its done. it would be a lie to say that i was always one hundred percent sure this was gonna see the light of day but its finally here, and im so so so happy to just put it out there and give it to you guys. @koocycle has listened to me bitch abt this one so much so thanks to her, also for kinda inspiring me to get back into tumblr.com and writing !! enjoy!! and once again, this is inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han!

“You’re really showing your wealth, you know?” you said as Jungkook slid into the driver’s seat, shutting out the cold air. He raised a brow, handing you the bag for you to hold onto, shivering slightly from the cold, his neck exposed to the harsh wind.

“How so?”

The engine sputtered to life as he slotted in the keys, his phone mounted to the dashboard, showing him the way. You pulled out the one-hundred-dollar expensive wine bottle from the bag, scrutinising it. Some of the glitter from the red ribbon the salesman had wrapped around it in an effort to be more festive and fitting today’s occasion peeled off. 

“This is too much.”

“Yeah, I know, the bow’s tacky but I couldn’t stop Kangjoon from-”

“No, I mean the hundred bucks you dropped on it. It shows your wealth,” you repeated, scrunching your nose. “Also, didn’t know you were on a first name basis with the salesman.”

You let the bottle slip back into its bag, scared Jungkook was going to make a sharp stop and cause you to drop and waste the bottle. God knows you didn’t have one hundred bucks casually lying around like him—even though you were sure Jungkook wouldn’t make you replace it and would definitely just buy it again himself.

“What? Don’t tell me you didn’t like Kangjoon? He’s a great man, very competent.” And just as you were about to tell him that Kangjoon scammed him, Jungkook continued, “Also isn’t that the whole reason why you’re dating me? My wealth?” 

He said it with a grin, turning to you as he let a family of four pass, receiving a thankful hand raise from both of the parents as they ushered their young children across the street. And even though he meant it purely as a joke, his smile and tone indicating as much, his words made you scrunch your face like you’d been stung by a bee. 

“It’s so unnecessary. We wouldn’t know the difference between this and supermarket wine, and Chae literally said not to bring anything. She’s gonna scold you, you know?”

If it had gone your way, you’d have gotten the second cheapest bottle of semi-fancy alcohol they had and called it a day but Jungkook swiped his card before you could intervene, ever so easily charmed. Well, actually if it had gone your way at all, you wouldn’t have brought anything to begin with. Chaeyoung hated it if her guests brought anything anyway.

“Gotta impress your friends, don’t I? Can’t have them not like me,” he argued, and you rolled your eyes.

“First of all, no, you don’t-”

“You don’t want your friends to like your boyfriend?” Jungkook gasped, staring at you with his mouth agape and eyes wide as you came to a stop in front of a red light. You shook your head.

“No, can I speak?” you sighed, frowning as Jungkook laughed, clearly getting his kick out of annoying you. “My friends already like you, and you know that. We’re driving to Ji’s and Chae’s place now for a Christmas party. One that you were explicitly invited to. So I don’t believe you for a second when you say that you got this wine to impress them. Also, Chae said not to bring anything. You just like spending money.”

Jungkook pursed his lips, trying and failing to hide a grin. “Do I now?”

“Am I not exhibit A?”

He gave you a look as if to say touché.

“Okay, maybe you’re right,” he admitted. “But just so you know, I gladly spent my money on that wine if it means I’ll impress your friends and make them like me more. And I’m even more than happy to spend it on you, cabbage.”

He looked at you by the end of his words, flashing you a grin. A grin that made him look so pretty and adorable, that would have made your knees buckle if you hadn’t been sitting, that wrapped your heart into his grip even tighter. A grin that made you wonder if a parachute would be enough to stop your fall for him, or if you were simply doomed for this fate, for the bone crushing landing.

You turned your head to the window, glad to see you had made it to Jisoo’s and Chaeyoung’s place.

“I think you’re just happy to have an excuse to spend your money,” you mumble, pretending to busy yourself with the straps of the bag.

“Sure—” There was a shrug, and you should have prepared yourself for the worst, should know better by now that Jungkook couldn’t just agree with you and leave you in peace. “—or you’re just the love of my life, cabbage, and what’s mine is yours.”

The words remained casual on Jungkook’s tongue, easy as ever. And they remained difficult and frown-inducing for you. 

“You’re-!”

A laugh bubbled up from Jungkook’s upon your silence, and though you were trying your deepest and most desperate to resist, your heart skipped a beat. It was fatal, cardiologists would say. How deeply you’d fallen, it was fatal. Your heart couldn’t be saved.

And as if he hadn’t said the most impossible thing ever, Jungkook pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine, a grin plastered on his lips.

“Alright, let’s-”

You yanked the door open, stepping (of course) in a puddle. With a groan and wince, you slammed the door shut. Your breath came out white and cloudy, December coming into its full swing. The weather had been harsher than ever—wind dragging on your skin until it was painful and tense, air cold enough to dry out your throat and mouth, every window coloured a milky white, and clouds hanging far and wide in the sky for every hour of the day. The urge to crawl back into the oh so warm car was strong. The urge to run away from Jungkook however was just that much stronger. 

The bottle bumped your hip bone as you rushed towards Jisoo’s and Chaeyoung’s apartment building. You didn’t turn around as Jungkook called after you to wait with a laugh, fumbling to unhook his phone from the dashboard. 

You reached the glass front door rather quickly, a handprint smudged across it that hadn’t been there last time. You cringed, but couldn’t think about it too much, worrying a lot more about the diminishing distance between Jungkook and you as you waited for one of your friends to open the stupid door for you. You knew for a fact they were already there, spotting Hoseok’s car parked on the side of the street. If he was there, Jimin was too, always catching a ride with him.

“Do you really think you can outrun me?” Jungkook called out, just a dozen steps behind you. 

You pulled on the front door as if it made a difference, pressing the bell repeatedly. He slowed his walk, burying his hands into his pockets. All so very smug. Your features twisted into a frown. 

“You’re so slow. You always run from me as if I won’t catch up with you in two-”

For once fate seemed to be on your side, the buzzer cutting through the air. The door almost hit you in the face when you yanked it open. You slammed it back shut again, just right in front of Jungkook’s nose. He pulled on the handle. The lock had clicked in. You watched his features twist as he realised he was too slow. His lips pressed together, curling inwards as he watched the biggest and proudest grin spread on yours.

“What were you saying? About me being too slow?” you said. A smile tucked on the corners of his mouth as he shook his head at you.

“Open up.”

He knocked on the glass, right in front of your nose.

“What? I can’t hear you.”

You put your hand to your ear, tilting your head.

“Just open up.”

“You gotta speak louder. I really can’t hear you with this door between-”

“Cabbage, you better open the door for me now, or I’m gonna make you regret it,” Jungkook said, narrowing his eyes, tongue poking in his cheek. And even though you were certain it was an empty threat—how was he going to make you regret it?—, you contemplated for just a second if maybe you should listen and open the door. 

“I’m gonna count to three.”

You scoffed. Were you a kid? And even more so, what was Jungkook going to do to you? Were you going to cave because of an empty threat? 

“Please do,” you smiled, eliciting one from Jungkook himself.

“Three.”

He raised a brow.

“Two.”

You folded your arms in front of your chest.

“One.”

A moment passed. 

Nothing happened.

“Alright, fine,” Jungkook said before dramatically ringing the bell. And even though you rolled your eyes, you did inch back. He was going to chase you, that one was for sure. 

The moment the buzzer rang, you took off. Jungkook let out a laugh.

“Now, you run?” he taunted, pulling the door open, his steps echoing through the hallway. You took two stairs at a time, yelping when you realised that Jungkook was hot on your tail. Maybe you should have run earlier. Or maybe you should have opened the door for him. But who were you, letting a guy threaten you? No less Jungkook of all people, that idiot.

You made it up the flight of stairs faster than you ever had, your lungs lit on fire. The front door already stood ajar for you. You could distantly hear Chaeyoung call out for Jisoo- A hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you back. Jungkook stood right in front of you, chest bumping into you, the biggest grin on his lips.

Shit.

“Gotcha.”

Your face soured.

“Oh, h-how are you?” you coughed with a smile, and he chuckled, never taking his eyes off of you even as he grabbed the bag from your hands and placed it down. You had completely forgotten about it. “Don’t look at me like this. T-that’s not fun.”

“Neither was having the door slammed in my face.” 

You backed into the wall. Turns out being tough was a lot more difficult when there wasn’t a door to shield you and Jungkook was actually in front of you, just centimetres from your face and staring at you like you were his favourite thing in this entire world. His hand sneaked around your waist, slipping underneath your sweater, fingers grazing the small of your back. His touch was light and delicate, teasing in all the right ways. It was cold too, making you arch and almost wince. And it was all too much—a tingle spreading across your back, rushing straight to your heart.

“Any last words before I make you regret it?” Jungkook hummed, and you should snort and laugh because he should sound ridiculous. But somehow, his words made you tense, the mere thought making your head spin in rounds and rounds. You bit on your tongue, silencing any sound that might just want to crawl up your throat.

You shouldn’t let Jungkook be this close to you. You needed distance for your sanity. But you couldn’t bring it over your heart to push him away. You didn’t have it in you. Not when there was very much a part of you that wanted to find out what Jungkook exactly meant.

He drank you up with his eyes, gaze dark and full of something hazy. Full of something you couldn’t pinpoint. But you loved it, you did. Maybe a little too much even. You loved the way it made your heart thump and rumble in your chest, made you forget that this was too much and far and dangerous, that Jungkook and you should keep your distance because in just a few weeks all of this would be over and you’d go your merry ways. But right now, with your back against the wall and Jungkook caging you in, thrill and excitement rushing through every single one of your cells, you couldn’t stop. You didn’t think you ever could.

“Got nothing to say now, cabbage?”

And when you still wouldn’t respond, he smiled. His face inched closer to yours, his nose brushing yours. Your fingers itched to hold onto something, onto him, curling and uncurling in the air. Because you shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. But you did, hands gripping his sweater as if you were lost in the sea and he was all you had to cling to. 

You closed your eyes, anticipating and waiting for Jungkook to kiss you, your breath stuck in your chest. Any time now. It was going to happen-

“Oh my God, please don’t do this in my hallway.”

You whipped your head around, your heart dropping to the floor. Jisoo stood in the doorway, face twisted in utter disgust.

“Please, anywhere but my fucking hallway. That's all I’m gonna be able to think about. Seeing the two of you eating each other’s faces.”

There was even clearer disgust in her voice.

Oh God.

“Hello, Ji,” Jungkook smiled, and you expected him to back away from you, but he gave you no distance. He wasn’t even the slightest embarrassed, if anything you sensed the slightest annoyance swinging with his words.

“Please step away from her, Kook,” Jisoo asked, gesturing for him to move backwards. But he wasn’t all too eager to follow, staying cemented right in front of you, hands still around your waist. He paused to think.

“I’ve got a really expensive bottle of wine.” He pointed to the bag. “I’ll give it to you in exchange for five more minutes.”

“Oh, you brought something? Chae’s gonna kill you,” Jisoo laughed before changing her tune, tilting her head to the side. “But how expensive are we talking?”

“Like one hundred bucks.”

You stared holes into Jungkook, mouth agape. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Were you not right here too? Did you become air? It was like you were cattle being sold off. 

“Oh,” Jisoo gasped before shrugging. “Okay, deal-”

“Yeah, no way,” you laughed before doing what you should have done earlier—you pushed Jungkook away, making him tumble backwards a little. You stepped around him. 

“But, Y/N, it’s one hundred-”

“Ji!” you gasped, making her laugh and reach out for you. She wrapped her arms around your neck, giggling as she did. 

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I would never,” she told you, and you raised a brow at her. “Right, Kook?”

“Yeah, we were just kidding.”

“I don’t- hey! I can see you two exchanging looks!” you gasped, neither of the two even trying to be subtle. “Do you think I’m blind?”

“Ha, funny, I think-” Jisoo cleared her throat. “—I think Chae is calling for me? Oh my God, do you hear that? Yes, I’m on my way, Chae!”

And as if she hadn’t just stabbed you in the back, she slipped inside. But not without grabbing the bag and thanking Jungkook for it. You rolled your eyes, turning to head inside when he cleared his throat.

Jungkook was staring at you with his brows raised, clearly expecting… something. 

“What?” you barked. He gave you a smile before stretching out his hand. You groaned. “Seriously? We have to get inside-”

But he waved his hand around, not budging. Rolling your eyes and with a long exhale, you took his hand into yours. 

“You’re a child-”

Jungkook pulled you towards him, shutting you up with a kiss. One hand cupped your cheek and the other rested on the small of your back, pushing you into him. The kiss was tender and soft, gentle and light. And still, it was enough to have your heart thumping louder and harder in your chest than ever before. You asked yourself if Jungkook could feel it at all. That heart of yours that was oh so tight in his grip. That heart of yours that was bleeding in your chest. That heart of yours already ached at the thought of this all ending in just a few weeks. 

It was a lovely kiss, a devastatingly lovely kiss.

And when Jungkook pulled away, his eyes so full and beautiful, you felt gutted and empty. Because this meant nothing to him. This meant nothing at all. You looked away. Jungkook laughed, pulling you flush to his side, all too unaware.

“Let’s go?”

You nodded slightly. 

Jimin was first to greet you, leaping up from the couch and pulling you into a hug. “You made it!”

“Took you long enough,” Taehyung mumbled, sipping on his beer, earning himself a look from Namjoon that he simply ignored. “We could hear you two yelling around in the hallway.”

“Merry Christmas to you too, Tae,” Jungkook laughed, and the older one frowned at him. 

“It’s December 10th.”

“In other words, it’s almost-”

“No, it’s not-”

Hoseok greeted you with a hug, ignoring Taehyung’s and Jungkook’s bickering because otherwise he would never get to say hello to you. “Looking good.”

“Thanks.” You stared at his sweater. “That’s one really ugly Christmas sweater.”

He laughed, thanking you. Seokjin and Namjoon were next to give you a quick hug, followed by Jennie and Yoongi, exchanging a few words with each of them. Taehyung and you stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of you saying anything. And though he tried to hide it, a smile formed on his lips. A smile you could only return. You blamed it on the holidays. They made you especially sappy and sentimental.

You were first to reach out. Taehyung reciprocated the hug. It was a little awkward and short and one-armed. It was more than anyone could ask of you. Jungkook nodded in both amazement and approval when you caught his eyes for a split second, and you just scrunched your nose at him.

“So how-”

You tuned out Seokjin, taking a minute to admire the decoration around you instead. Chaeyoung (because Jisoo wasn’t particularly all too fond of Christmas, but did put up with all of it because Chaeyoung very much was) always outdid herself every holiday season: red little fuzzy stockings hanging off shelves and cupboard knobs, cinnamon-scented candles lit up all throughout the place, miniature Santa and reindeer figurines sitting on every surface alongside bowls of chocolates and peppermints with fake snow underneath. There was even a small fake Christmas tree crammed into the corner of their living room with colourful baubles (some of which Jimin had gifted and had pictures of you all printed on them) and equally colourful fairy lights hanging on it. And of course, Michael Bublé was on heavy rotation, his voice carried throughout the home. 

“Where’s Chae?” you asked Jisoo when she came up next to you, both of you standing in front of the Christmas tree. 

“Oh, you know-”

“Ah, great, you guys finally made it as well,” Chaeyoung exhaled, coming out from the kitchen, and seeing Jungkook and you among the other guests. There was a slight edge accompanying her words, and you doubted for no second that her nerves were running high from having to host tonight and needing all of this to turn out perfect. (Even if she chose this fate upon herself.) Her updo was falling apart, strands sticking out in the wrong places. Still, she looked pretty. Especially with her reindeer apron tied around her waist. She had had it since middle school, and seeing it brought back all kinds of memories. You couldn’t help but grin, Jisoo and you exchanging looks. And when your gaze met Chaeoyung’s, she knew. She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. 

“Yeah, I know,” she mumbled, speaking to you too only and confusing the others in the process. Jisoo and you snickered. 

“Anyway—” Chaeyoyung waved her hand around, “—I’ve got some unfortunate news. Dinner isn’t ready. I’ll need at least another thirty minutes. Hope you guys didn’t come too hungry.”

“Do you need help with anything?” Jungkook asked, already getting up from the couch. Yoongi raised his hand, silently extending the offer as well. Jennie nodded, clearly willing to get her hands dirty too.

“Yeah, anything we can do to help you?” Taehyung asked, making an effort to get up too, but Chaeyoung was quick to shake her head.

“No, I don’t need help,” she mumbled, clearing her throat. “I just wanted to inform you guys. You all would help if you guys just busied yourself and didn’t come into the kitchen.”

And before anyone could insist on their help, Chaeyoung disappeared back inside the kitchen.

“Shouldn’t we-?”

“If you wanna stay on her good side, don’t take a single step into the kitchen. Don’t even breathe in that direction, or think about helping her,” Jisoo explained, and Jungkook looked at you as if to ask if this was exaggerated at all.

“Yeah, Chae’s… very peculiar with that kind of stuff.”

“But there are so many of us. Is she really gonna do all of it on her own?” Jennie asked, but Hoseok waved her off. 

“Trust me, she is and she will. Chae gets super stressed, but she also loves to host. If you don’t let her, she’ll be in a bad mood for ages. It’s better to just let her do her own thing.”

“And if it actually gets too much, she’ll come out and ask for help at one point. Trust me,” Jimin added.

“You think? I’m not so sure about that one,” Jisoo snorted and moved over to grab a handful of chocolates. Almost instinctively, she placed a hand on Jennie’s shoulder, and for a moment, you wondered if Jungkook and you ever looked this natural and comfortable with each other. If you looked as much as a couple as Jisoo and Jennie did. “When has she ever asked for help?”

“There’s no way she can do all of this on her own,” Taehyung said, frowning.

“You don’t know Chae.”

“Maybe. But it seems humanly impossible to pull off this entire thing without asking for at least some help.”

Jisoo raised her brow at Taehyung, pausing a moment. “Oh, do you wanna bet?” Her mouth pulled into a grin at the mere prospect of making some easy money. “Ten bucks?”

Hoseok and you exchanged glances over their heads. This was very much typical of Jisoo. 

“Don’t bet with her, Tae. She’s a scammer,” Jimin said, pushing Jisoo’s hand away as she waited for him to shake it.

“I won’t,” Taehyung laughed, taking a sip from his beer. “You know I don’t do-”

The ear-shattering sound of a pan clashing with the kitchen tiles emerged from the kitchen, followed up with a few loud curses and an “It’s fine!”. You cringed when something else you couldn’t identify fell to the floor a second later, eliciting even more curses. Almost instinctively, you turned to Jisoo, nudging her. Because as much as she was right that it was a bad idea to go help Chaeyoung, it would actually be worse not to go in right now when everything seemed to go off the rails.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. My cue to jump in,” she grumbled, begrudgingly making her way to the kitchen, knowing already she would have to endure Chaeyoung’s snappy attitude. She squeezed Jennie’s hand in goodbye. 

“See, she’s getting help,” Taehyung said to no one in particular and righteously took a sip from his beer. Jungkook applauded him sarcastically, and you were about to say something when-

“Oh, this is cute!” Seokjin gasped, coming up to you. You followed his gaze to the bauble he was admiring. It had an old picture of you and your friends on it, faces curving around the porcelain. “How old are you guys there?”

You pursed your lips. “That’s probably senior year? So like seventeen maybe? Eighteen?”

“What are you guys doing- oh my God, you guys look so young.” Namjoon hooked an arm around Seokijn’s shoulder, marvelling at your younger selves. “Look at that one!”

He pointed out one with just Jisoo, Chaeyoung and you on it. It was one of the first pictures you three had taken together. All three of you still stuck in middle school. You couldn’t decide whether to be embarrassed or nostalgic.

“Is that Ji? Her hair, oh my God!” Seokjin laughed, pointing out the blunt bob Jisoo used to rock.

“Don’t be mean!” And yet, Namjoon laughed too.

“You’re lucky Ji can’t hear you right now because she’d kill you,” you said. “But actually, you should see some of Seok’s old pictures. He looks so different-”

A hand snaked around your waist. You tensed. But you relaxed a second later when you realised who it was. You peeked over your shoulder just to check and smiled when you turned out to be right. He placed his chin on your shoulder.

“Hello,” Jungkook whispered, and you squirmed, his breath tickling your ear. He was so close to you, too close. You could practically feel his heart beating behind yours.

“Hey,” you returned, a bit breathless and pitchy. You cleared your throat.

“What are you guys doing?”

“Oh, uh, nothing really,” you mumbled, waving your hand around.

Jungkook frowned, but didn’t ask any further. “Okay, well, I wanted to get you something to drink. You think I can go into the kitchen without getting murdered?”

“Yeah, you’re fine. Ji’s there too,” you said, glancing over your shoulder to meet his gaze. He was already looking at you, eyes big and so full and a smile on his lips.

“Okay, then do you want anything in particular?”

You shook your head. “Uh, no, whatever is fine.”

“Whatever it is.”

But rather than just leave to get you said drink, Jungkook lingered, not moving away from you just yet. You raised a brow at him, making him smile. As if he could read your mind, he loosened his grip around your waist, but not before pressing a kiss to your neck.

“Getting you that drink,” he smiled, backing away. 

You touched a hand to where he had kissed you, gripping, feeling hot all of a sudden. It was stupid, you were stupid. 

“Jesus.”

And albeit, it was quiet and muttered under his breath, you heard it very clearly. You looked at Seokjin, eyes big as he stared back at you with a grin on his lips. There was a fondness in his eyes, a look you always saw on Jimin’s face. Namjoon wore it too.

“What?” you asked when the expression wouldn’t disappear.

“It’s just-” 

He sighed and shook his head.

“What?” you repeated, but Seokjin wouldn’t continue.

“You guys are just cute,” Namjoon supplied.

“Oh, please,” you scoffed, shaking your head.

“You guys are exactly like Jin and Mina used to be,” Yoongi said, coming up next to you, having witnessed the entire exchange from his spot on the couch.

“What?” you laughed, shaking your head over and over again. “I have no idea what-”

“Don’t deny it, Y/N,” Namjoon laughed and looked at you.

“It’s gross really,” Yoongi scoffed, taking a sip from his beer. “How smitten he is for you. How happy and—” He shuddered for the drama of it all but wore a smile on his lips. “—stupidly in love you two are.”

Wait, what?

“It’s cute,” Seokjin corrected, and you stared at him with stunned silence. 

“Is it though?”

“Don’t be like that, Yoongs. When have you ever seen Kook this happy before?” 

The question, though not directed at you at all, made you freeze. And when you looked at Yoongi and he made no effort to disagree, you froze.

“You make him really happy,” Namjoon said with a smile and tilted his head when you didn’t speak or react at all, giving your shoulder a light squeeze. “You know that, right?”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks, crashing down on you and compressing your lungs. Because, no, you didn’t. You didn’t think about it ever, and why would you? It never seemed possible to you because it simply wasn’t possible you made Jungkook happy. You didn’t have that power over him.

Was this really how you looked like to others—two people who were in love and happy? It sounded ridiculous to you, impossible. So much so, you just had to shake your head and wave your hand around as if the words loomed in front of you and had to be physically dismissed. Your heart banged in your ribcage, loud and far too heavy.

“You guys are exaggerating!” you chuckled, voice wavering the slightest bit. “This has nothing to do with me- Finals are over and it’s Christmas, so obviously-”

A single look from them was all it took to silence you. They didn’t have to say a word for you to know what they were collectively thinking.

“Y/N, don’t be ridiculous,” Seokjin said.

“For god’s sake, just look at that boy,” Yoongi laughed, pointing behind you, and your gaze followed his hand. Right then Jungkook came back with two drinks, one for you and one for him. 

He seemed surprised, stilling as he saw that you were all looking at him. But he recovered, mouth pulling into a big smile. Your eyes met his. You would have missed it if you hadn’t looked so close and paid attention to every little thing he did. But you saw it, the tiny smile he offered you, and only you. It was like a little secret. Just for you and him to know and share and see. 

Did you really make him happy?

“Why are you guys staring at me like that?” Jungkook laughed, coming to a stop in front of you and handing you your drink. You took it passively, and purely from the warmth, you knew it was your favourite, green tea. “Are you guys talking shit about me?”

“Oh, yeah, you know just the usual shit talking we do about you,” Namjoon snorted.

“Mhm, the usual stuff. How you always-”

Seokjin’s voice faded away when Jungkook moved closer to you, his arm already lifting to sneak around your middle. But you couldn’t do this. Not now.

“Sorry, I gotta pee,” you mumbled, wringing out of Jungkook’s grasp, his fingers just barely brushing your skin. You didn’t know who you interrupted, but you offered them all an apologetic look but you never quite looked at Jungkook. Your exit seemed natural enough though, you thought. No one made an effort to stop you.

Some of your drink spilt over when you put it down on the coffee table too quickly, and you even almost bumped into Hoseok, but rather than apologise properly and clean up your mess, you hurried into the bathroom. 

The moment the lock clicked shut behind you, you let yourself crumble, knees giving in. If only just a little. 

Oh God.

It wasn’t very environmentally friendly, not very Save the Turtles! kind of behaviour of you at all as you just let the water run and run into the sink and down the drain. You didn’t even wash your hands or face, just needing something to fill the silence as you sat on the edge of the bathtub and let yourself calm down.

You felt ridiculous. You truly did. Insane and crazy even. The behaviour you were exhibiting was probably therapist worthy. The panic. For what? And why? It was behaviour you never imagined yourself exhibiting. No less because of Jeon Jungkook. But here you were, playing his pretend girlfriend for money so he could win a bet. And you got all of your friends involved even! You should have really thought this through-

“Cabbage?”

And somehow, both dread and warmth crept up with his voice. You closed your eyes, thinking for a second to shut off the tap. It seemed just a little too exhausting to do that.

“Yeah?” 

“Are you good?”

“Yeah.”

It was quiet for a few seconds.

“Can I come in?”

“I’m peeing, Jeon.”

A lie. He knew. You knew.

“Fine, come in.”

When you wouldn’t move, Jungkook gave the door handle a try, surprised to see you hadn’t locked it. You had forgotten, and so he did it for you instead. The moment he saw you sitting on the edge of the bathtub with the tap carelessly running, he stopped, features folding into something nice, pleasant, empathetic.

“Stop,” you groaned, rolling your eyes and turning away from him, shutting off the tap as if that minimised how sad you had to look right now.

Jungkook chuckled, burying his hands into his pants, carefully walking towards you. He sat down next to you, knee pressed against yours. Neither of you pulled away. There was a part of you that should tell him to give you space, but you couldn’t. If anything, you turned a little to him.

“How are you always running off into the bathroom when you feel bad? It’s so obvious,” he mumbled, pinching your nose.

“Ow, stop!” you hissed, swatting his hand aside. 

He gave you a look, shaking his head, and you pouted like a child would. It made him chuckle, and you tensed when Jungkook put his head on yours, too tall to lean against your shoulder comfortably, his eyes falling shut. 

“What did they say?” Jungkook asked, breaking the silence after a while.

“What?”

“Joon and the others. What did they say to make you run off like that?”

You pressed your lips together, disliking that you were so easy to read.

“Who sent you?” you snorted, wanting to figure out which of your friends just earned themselves a plus point.

“No one.”

“What?” you blinked, and looked at him, but he kept his eyes closed. “So you-”

“No one sent me. I just… wanted to make sure you were fine myself.”

And hearing that was somehow utterly awful. Because it meant Jungkook cared. At least to some degree, at least enough to want to check on you. It meant that he was able to read you so easily, that he really knew you.

“Now, what did they say? You can tell me. I’ll talk to them for you. Or I won’t if you don’t want me-”

You shook your head, sighing. “Nothing. They said nothing.”

It was true. Because none of what Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi said was worth running off. It wasn’t insulting, or hurtful. 

“Are you sure? Seriously, you can just tell me. I’d talk to-”

“I’m serious,” you interrupted, not even wanting to hear how far Jungkook would go for you. “They said nothing. I just had to pee.” You shrugged. “And I just needed a moment to breathe. It’s nothing. I promise.”

Jungkook sat up, glancing at you with his mouth pursed and eyes narrowed. “So just a moment to breathe?”

Your hand almost came up to cup his cheek, the urge to brush over the little scar on his cheekbone tempting you. It was difficult to resist when he was looking at you like that. There was this need, to plant your lips against his. Kiss him and assure him. But you didn’t let yourself. You turned your head to the other side, curling your hand around the cool porcelain of the bathtub until the skin stretched thin over your knuckles and almost hurt. Just anything but Jungkook and his stupidly pretty face.

“Just a moment to breathe,” you mumbled. 

Jungkook hummed, straightening up. He let his head hang for a few seconds before lifting it up again and turning to you.

“Is it fine if I stay with you then?”

It was a delicate question, an honest question, a devastating heartbreaking question. Because of course, he could. Of course! He could do anything, as long as he remained by your side. And that realisation, albeit not entirely new to you (you were aware of it to some degree all along), was mortifying. 

You closed your eyes, a knot forming in your throat. There was nothing for you to say, a silence stretching between you. A silence Jungkook took as a “yes”, and when his hand gripped yours, it was sealed for you. You didn’t pull away, put your head on his shoulder. What would be the use of resisting? What good would it do? What would it change? Nothing.

So you enjoyed it instead, the moment between him and you. For as long as you could. For now.

“We should probably get back out,” you mumbled when you heard the laughter get louder in the living room. 

“Probably.”

And yet, neither of you moved. A few more moments passed. It was the next bound of laughter that ripped you out.

“We should-”

“I think it’s time-”

You both stopped, nodding, knowing. Jungkook was first to get up, groaning like an old man before turning to you and offering you his hand. With one loud sigh, you took it, allowing him to pull you up. You shared a look and a smile.

It felt like you were walking into another world when you stepped outside, still holding hands. Before it was just Jungkook and you. Now it was everyone else too. And almost as if you had said that exact thought out loud, everyone looked at you as you walked back in. You stopped, the same way Jungkook had when he had returned and found you all staring at him. You frowned, the grin spreading on Jimin’s and Jisoo’s (When had she made it back?) faces worrying you. Jungkook seemed as clueless as you.

“What?”

No one said anything for a second. 

“Can I?” Jisoo asked, pleading with everyone else, and you narrowed your eyes. She was giddy, and her being giddy was never a good sign, especially for you. Most times it meant you’d be miserable.

“Do the honours,” Jimin said, gesturing for her to ahead.

Jisoo leaned back, grinning from ear to ear. She seemed to stretch the moment thin, take her sweet time to reveal to you what exactly entertained her so much. Jennie shook her head next to her, but she wore a smile on her lips, amused.

You kept close to Jungkook, almost instinctively. As if he could protect you. His hand brushed the small of your back, soothing. Taehyung’s irritating snicker grabbed your attention for a second, but before you could frown at him for it, Jisoo spoke,

“Look up.”

Fuck. You should have figured.

“Ah,” Jungkook laughed upon seeing the mistletoe above your heads. 

“You guys are funny,” you scoffed, shaking your head. “And very cute for thinking that we are gonna do-”

“You have to!” Jimin interjected, leaning forward and pointing at the two of you. “It’s the law. The rules of the game.”

You frowned, and the lines deepened even more when you saw everyone from Namjoon, Seokjin and Jennie to Taehyung, Hoseok, Yoongi and Jisoo nodding along. Of course, they found pleasure in your misery. 

“It’s bad luck if you don’t,” Hoseok reminded you of the stupid rules, and you could have thrown something at him. How was no one on your side?

“That’s… made up.”

“Well, if you wanna risk the bad luck, be my guest,” Hoseok chuckled, shrugging, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Oh, please, no one believes that!” 

But you were met with no ounce of support from anyone. You turned to Jungkook, expecting that he was equally as ticked off as you. But he seemed perfectly fine, his features not even slightly twisted into anything resembling irritation. If anything, he was smiling a little when you met his eyes. 

“I don’t know, I’m never one to tempt fate,” he said, and you couldn’t quite decide how to react. Jungkook reached for your hand again, playing with your fingers. “Why risk the bad luck? Also, it’s not like we have never kissed in front of them.” He grinned. “Remember how you jumped me and-”

“Oh my God, I didn’t jump you!” Your voice leapt up a few pitches too high and remained there when your friends began to laugh.

“Now that’s a lie. You practically threw yourself at-”

“Jeon!”

Jungkook cackled, and you could have strangled him right then and there. Your friends laughed too, and you would have snapped at them if your cheeks didn’t warm to an uncomfortable degree. To the point the blood boiled in your ears, so much so you didn’t even hear Namjoon’s holler about how it was just a kiss!

It wasn’t completely lost on you that it was stupid to be embarrassed, considering how boldly you had claimed Jungkook as yours in front of a room of strangers just a few weeks ago. Especially considering that all of your friends had a slight alcohol level going on anyway already and were most definitely moving on the second the kiss happened. But it was different. At the Halloween party, you were positively buzzed, your vision blurry and fuzzy. But more importantly, you were jealous to the point of turning green. It seemed so much more intimate to kiss Jungkook in front of everyone now. And so very vulnerable because you wanted to so much. Kiss him. You always did these days, yearned to. That desire scared you, was mortifying in more ways than you could describe, particularly in this moment because what if they could all sense it? What if Jungkook realised it all of a sudden? That you really wanted this? That your entire heart ached for him? 

And as if you had the fear written all over your face, Jungkook reached for you, tugging on your elbow and turning you back to him. He gave you a smile, his head tilted to the side. A few strands slipped out of his perfectly messy hair, and a soft shadow covered half his face. Right then, he seemed all so delicate to you, so good, so precious. It was instant, your heartbeat dwindled into something calmer and wilder at the same time. Somehow, it seemed almost easy and much more difficult to kiss him and pretend it didn’t dig daggers into your heart. None of it made sense, the effect he had on you, but you supposed a lot of things hadn’t made sense in your life since Jungkook’s first appearance.

“It’s just a kiss, cabbage,” he mumbled, shrugging. 

It was. It was just a kiss, to your friends, to him. It was nothing, a small price you had to pay to entertain your friends. It was fun and simple. It was just unfortunate that it was so much more to you. 

You held your breath when Jungkook placed a hand on your cheek, thumb brushing over your cheekbone, gentle and soothing. He was doing everything right, and yet, you could have thrown up right then and there. Jimin gasped and squeaked as Jungkook inched closer to you, Jisoo grasping onto his arm because oh my God, they were going to kiss! All while you were desperately, almost frantically, fisting Jungkook’s shirt, as if you would float away otherwise and it was the only thing keeping you on the ground.

And Jungkook kissed you all too delicately.

To the point, you could have believed him. That you meant something to him, that he might just be in love with you. It was horrible, to be kissed like that. You weren’t sure if this was how it felt like, to be in love and to be loved. You hoped it wasn’t.

You pulled him closer to you, deepened the kiss, allowed him in. For just a while, you told yourself. Just until you found the strength in you to resist him, until you deemed your own well-being more important than these fleeting highs with Jungkook.

“Alright, dinner’s- oh.” 

Chaeyoung stopped right before she could bump into you, and you quickly pulled away. But Jungkook kept holding you, not letting go of you. Chaeyoung placed her hands on her hips and shot Jimin and Jisoo a long look.

“Ah, who of you idiots did this?” 

“Why do you assume it was-”

“So it was you,” Chaeyoung said, interrupting Jimin and shaking her head. “Take it off. Dinner’s ready.”

Jisoo slapped his shoulder, laughing, clearly enjoying seeing him getting reprimanded by Chaeyoung. Jimin rolled his eyes, mumbling something about how Chaeyoung was no fun but he followed her orders, getting up and reaching for the bundle above your heads. You backed away-actually you jumped. It made Jimin pause and narrow his eyes, his mouth lifting into a smile when he saw the opportunity.

“Oh, what if I hold it over you-”

“No, don’t even!” you hissed, pushing Jimin away from you and seeking refuge behind Chaeyoung. 

“Oh, it’s just one more kiss, Y/N!” Jimin taunted, following you. You shrieked, moving further from him, irritated by the constant laughter spilling from his throat. He was enjoying this too much. Too much!

“Fuck off!”

“Don’t be like-”

“I’m serious, stop!”

“It’s fun-”

“Okay, no, enough,” Jungkook said, stepping in and swiftly taking the mistletoe from Jimin. He slapped him with it lightly, eliciting a gasp from Jimin. “No more chasing my girlfriend with mistletoe, okay? Or you can do your physics assignments on your own.” 

Rubbing his cheek, almost convinced he was allergic to mistletoe now, Jimin gasped as if Jungkook had just declared an end to their friendship. “Kook! How could you say that?”

“Stop chasing my girlfriend then.”

“Oh my God, fine, I won’t,” Jimin groaned, pouting. “You’re so lame.”

When he reached for the mistletoe, Jungkook hesitated, looking over to you and even though you preferred him not to hold it in his hands again, you knew Jimin would get even more offended if Jungkook withheld the bundle from him. So you gave him a nod. 

“Okay, alright, dinner’s getting cold,” Chaeyoung said, clapping her hands together when Jimin was back in possession of his mistletoe. “So how about we take this party into the kitchen, yeah?”

Like you had said he would, Jungkook got an earful from Chaeyoung when she noticed the expensive bottle of wine suddenly appear on the dinner table because how dare you bring something when I clearly said not to? And on top of that such an expensive bottle too. Do you shit money? Somebody needs to teach you how to manage your finances. Rather than come to his help, you left Jungkook to fend for himself which earned you puppy eyes from him, but hadn’t you told him better? Surprisingly however he managed to convince her to open the bottle anyway. You were sure she’d get him to return it, or at least take it home again. Jungkook could be very compelling. But you knew that already. 

“If the teaching thing doesn’t work out—” Namjoon had his mouth stuffed as he spoke, and you caught Yoongi cringing next to him. “—I think you should become a cook, Chae.”

She smiled sheepishly, waving him off. “Oh, please. My mom’s cooking is so much better.”

“I don’t know if I believe you,” he laughed. “This is seriously so good.”

Hoseok shoved a big bite into his mouth, a drop of sauce splashing onto the table. Chaeyoung smiled and wiped it off for him. He thanked her.

“It’s the best food on Earth. I’d die for it,” Jimin sighed, a little too loud and dramatic, his mouth full with food, giving you all a glimpse into what his stomach must look like. His cheeks were tinted a slight pink, the red wine slowly flushing him through. “Like that one Gordon Ramsey meme? Where you know—” He sat up, changing his voice in a failed attempt to mimic the British celebrity chef. “—he’s like ‘Finally some good fucking food.’ or whatever. That’s how I always feel when I eat Chae.”

For a second, there was silence. Jungkook and you looked at each other with big eyes, a hint of a smile on your lips because it was obvious that Jimin hadn’t realised what he had said, blabbering on and on without a second thought.

“Maybe you should calm it on the alcohol,” Seokjin mumbled, pushing Jimin’s glass away from him. But it had the opposite effect, making him reach for it instead and down the entire contents of his glass in one quick go.

“Never!”

“You mean… her food. When you eat her food, you could cry, right?” Taehyung clarified, and Jimin looked at him with big eyes.

“Oh, yes of course! What else would I mean?” he laughed, loud and boisterous. “Chae’s all yours, Seok. Don’t worry. I’m not your competition.” 

Chaeyoung almost choked on the wine, and Hoseok turned a few shades redder. 

“Someone get this idiot some water,” Yoongi snorted, and Namjoon already got up.

You turned your gaze to Jisoo when she leaned into you, taking the chaos as a chance to just talk to you, her hand grabbing yours.

“How’s the scarf going by the way? Are your loops now clean?” she whispered, careful to keep her voice low. You glanced towards Jungkook, but he was busy trying to convince Jimin to drink a few sips from the water at least. And though he hadn’t heard a word, you glared at Jisoo, shaking your head.

“Not with him around,” you hissed, and she rolled her eyes.

“Oh, look at him. He’s not paying us attention. I wanna know. I’m invested now, especially because you always called me a grandma for knitting. How’s it going?” she asked, and you knew it was best to just quickly answer her because she wasn’t dropping this.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it now. It’s almost done-”

“What are you guys whispering about?” Jennie asked, leaning in, eyes wandering between Jisoo and you.

“Y/N’s knitting a scarf for her boyfriend for Christmas.”

“Ji!” 

Your features couldn’t decide whether or not to contort in embarrassment or fear Jungkook had overheard this time. It’d ruin your surprise. You were in luck though because he wasn’t paying your conversation any mind.

“Oh, that’s cute!” Jennie squealed. “I only thought Ji knits. I didn’t know you knit too, Y/N.”

“I-”

“She doesn’t. She just sews a little,” Jisoo said, beating you to it. She leaned towards Jennie as if she was telling her a secret and didn’t want you to hear, but she deliberately kept eye contact with you and didn’t even lower her voice, her lips curling up. “She learned how to knit for her stupid little boyfriend. She asked me so many questions and bought so much yarn too. It was so annoying-”

You kicked Jisoo in the shin, shutting her up. She sharply sucked in her breath, hands flying to her leg, mouth agape in a silent screech.

“You’re talking too much,” you hissed, not remorseful at all even as she rubbed her shin. Jennie laughed. 

“That’s really cute of you though, Y/N,” she said, smiling at you. “I like the idea. He’s gonna love it.”

“It’s just a scarf,” Jisoo mumbled, rolling her eyes, words dipping into an astonishing amount of immaturity. “It’s not that cute. I could knit you a better scarf-”

“Stop bragging. It’s different. You’ve always knit. Y/N made an effort to learn how to for Kook.”

“I’d learn how to do something new for you.”

“So do.”

“What? Like I won’t?”

You took that as your cue to exit the conversation, glancing over to Jungkook instead. He hadn’t noticed your conversation at all. In fact, he was stuffing his mouth full. Some extra sauce decorated the corner of his mouth in his haste. Without missing a beat, you wiped it off with your thumb before cleaning it on his napkin. He turned to you, eyes as big as a reindeer caught in headlights. It hit you only then as he stared at you and you stared at him, what you had done. How intimate the nature of the gesture had been. You might as well have ripped out your heart and told him to keep it. It would have been the same.

“Did… you just-”

“Oh, the wine is actually so good!” Jisoo sighed, putting down her glass, and right now you were very glad she sat next to you. “I think that’s the best wine I’ve ever had.”

Jungkook’s eyes darted between her and you. He was thinking, contemplating if he’d engage with Jisoo in a conversation, or tease you until you were just about ready to be swallowed by a hole. Maybe it was the way you wouldn’t even look in his direction and kept your gaze trained on Jisoo, or maybe because he was planning on bringing it up another time, but in the end, he decided to spare you.

“I’m happy to hear you like it,” he grinned before jabbing you in the side. You flinched, grabbing his hand before he could do it again. “See, and you said they wouldn’t taste the difference.”

“She doesn’t,” you grumbled, brows creased together.

“She’s just saying that because she knows how expensive it is,” Taehyung said, and for once you agreed. Jisoo rolled her eyes at him, mumbling something about not wanting to argue with an idiot and picking a piece of lint off of Jennie’s shoulder instead.

Jungkook shrugged. “Whatever. She likes it, so worth every penny.”

You were about to let go of his hand, feeling any kind of contact was a step too much, a step into a very wrong and dangerous direction. But Junkook interlaced his fingers with yours, holding it firm, thumb brushing over the back of your hand. For a second, you contemplated pulling away because this was too much, too close. You didn’t, not finding the strength in you to do it. 

“Actually, I haven’t learned half of my mom’s cooking. She always makes this amazing pork belly stew for every Christmas. If you love this, you’ll love that,” Chaeyoung said, pulling you into their conversation that seemed to have circled back to her cooking.

“Are you gonna go back home for Christmas? Because I’ll go with you if so. That stew sounds amazing,” Yoongi said.

“Oh my God, if you are, please take me with you too because this is so good,” Jennie sighed dreamily, making Chaeyoung laugh. 

“Excuse me, what about our Christmas plans?” Jisoo gasped with faux upset, and immediately Hoseok, Chaeyoung, Jimin and you exchanged glances. 

Moving fast, Hoseok mouthed and you nodded. You had no idea. At the same time, it seemed to work for them.

“Oh, can’t we just drop by for dinner really quickly for some food?” Jennie tried, pursing her lips into a pout, but Jisoo just clicked her tongue and shook her head.

“Good food is all it takes, huh?”

Jennie laughed.

“Is everyone going home for Christmas?” Namjoon asked, wiping his mouth before grabbing his glass of wine, holding it up to his lips, speaking into it. “I know Kook is for sure.”

Jungkook nodded. “Got me there.”

And even without looking at him, you knew he was smiling and more than excited to go back home. He squeezed your hand, and you could tell he did so unconsciously. You squeezed back, happy for him that he was happy.

“Oh, right, I’ve been meaning to ask!” Jimin gasped, turning rather dramatically towards you. You blinked, unsure of what was about to spill from his lips.

“Is it true that you’re going back home with Kook, Y/N?” 

What?

Everyone turned to you, Chaeyoung raising her brow at you because were you? You stared back at her, mouth opened and closing because no, right? You weren’t, or were you? Your eyes lifted to Jungkook, and he had that same look on his face. Neither of you knew what to say or do. This wasn’t something you had discussed. And why would you have? It’d be ridiculous to assume that you’d be going back home with Jungkook to meet his parents for Christmas.

“Uh-?”

“I’m just asking because Kook’s parents have been asking me if I knew if he’s actually gonna bring you,” Jimin continued, shrugging. And maybe you would have focused on how much you wanted to strangle him right now and needed him to shut up if your mind wasn’t reeling from the fact that Jungkook seemed to have not only told his parents about your existence but also that you would be spending Christmas with them.

What?

“Okay, yeah, no, wait,” Jungkook interjected, a clear panic in his voice, turning fully to you. “I can explain.”

You blankly stared at him, unable to even make a single sound. He dug a hand through his hair, looking even more panicked the longer you said nothing.

“So, uh, my brother saw my posts and stories online and might have told my parents… that I’m dating you. And so they’ve been really curious and asking about you a lot, and it was a little annoying, so I just told them that I might bring you around for Christmas to shut them up. But—” He held out his hand as if to get ahead of you saying anything. “—I didn’t promise them anything. I just said it to get them off my back, you know?”

You continued staring at him, unsure of how to react or what to say because well, you hadn’t thought that either of your parents were ever going to get involved in any shape or form. You hadn’t even played with the idea of telling your parents. And why would you? All of this was fake! A ruse, so Jungkook could win his stupid bet!

“It wasn’t planned, or anything, okay? I wasn’t going to tell them about you-”

“You weren’t?” Jimin blurted out, brows pinching together. He seemed to have lost all ability to read the room, just a glass or two of wine enough to dull his brain. “Ow-!”

He glared at Taehyung, rubbing his arm. It still wasn’t enough to shut him up however. 

“What was that for? I’m just saying I’m a little surprised that Jungkook, the definition of a mama’s and papa’s boy, was planning on keeping his girlfriend a secret when he hasn’t shut up about Y/N for months-”

“No, wait it’s not like that,” Jungkook quickly scrambled, gesturing wildly. “It’s just that my parents, you know, can get a little much. And, I don’t know-”

His sentence didn’t find an end, and Jimin seemed to just take that as a sign to go on, 

“Didn’t Narae meet-”

“Okay, how about you finish your food, huh?” Taehyung interrupted, taking Jimin’s fork and picking up a big piece of meat before shoving it into his mouth. Namjoon and Seokjin exchanged glances, cringing. Yoongi lowered his head, and Jennie slid down on her seat. Chaeyoung looked at you with big empathetic eyes and Jisoo even gave your hand a squeeze. 

If there was anything genuine between you, this would have been devastating. Luckily, there wasn’t. So it couldn’t hurt. And yet, your heart felt like it was bleeding in your chest, a dagger shoved in, a dagger with Jungkook’s name. He was staring holes into you, but you couldn’t look at him, settling on the edge of the table instead. You weren’t hurt. You weren’t hurt that Narae with her perfect smile and manicured nails and beautiful hair and glossy lips got to meet his parents and you didn’t. It didn’t bother you at all! That was what you told yourself at least. Because you couldn’t possibly be hurt. Not when your relationship was transactional and just an act. And yet, to your misery, you were hurt, deeply. You hated it, how you weren’t all that unbothered as you wanted and more importantly, should be. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts though when you saw the glare Hoseok was looking at Jungkook with. It dawned on you how awful all of it had to sound to your friends then. Narae, who never even was Jungkook’s official girlfriend, got to meet his parents, but you, who was officially (at least to them) his girlfriend, he not only didn’t want to introduce to them but also planned on keeping a secret?

“Oh my God, you guys!” you laughed, loud and light, like it was all so very dumb and stupid. With a big swoop, you grabbed Jungkook’s hand on the table, hoping no one saw the shake in your fingers. Everyone looked at you.

“You’re misunderstanding. We had agreed from the beginning that we should take it a little slower, and not tell everyone immediately. I knew he wasn’t going to tell his parents. I told him not to.” You put on your most convincing smile, swallowing the knot in your throat, hoping desperately it was enough. Everyone was looking at you, and you looked right back at them, at everyone except for Jungkook. Your vision almost blurred, hazy at the edges, feeling your composure threaten to slip.

“It’s nothing.”

There was a slight shake in your voice, the tiniest of a waver. You couldn’t tell if your friends noticed, their faces unreadable to you. A moment of silence stretched across the room, the food long forgotten about. In the end, it was slightly tipsy Jimin, the one who started it all, to break the awkwardness.

“Okay, well, do I text them… yes or-?”

You wondered if Jimin was this stupid, or trying to put you through hell on purpose. His question made Taehyung next to him sigh and shake his head, lips pressed together as he stared daggers into the older one.

“What?” Jimin whispered, offended. Maybe you should have taken the wine from him sooner. 

You looked at Jungkook finally. He didn’t seem to have an answer at all, his eyes big and wide like a child’s. There was something in them that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It almost seemed like he wanted you to agree, say yes, of course, you’d meet his parents. You had to be imagining it. As quickly as it had come, you squashed the thought.

It was up to you. The decision was in your hands. Everyone was waiting for your answer. Jungkook would have to go with whatever you were saying, whether or not he liked it. 

A lot of it was probably spite, spite that Narae met them already and you hadn’t. And how would it look if you weren’t there when Jungkook inevitably made a post about being back home with his family and you weren’t there in the pictures? What would Narae think? You could already see a backhanded Instagram story in front of your eyes, how there was trouble in paradise. It was something you wouldn’t put past her at all, seeing as she had done so before, posting just an hour after Jungkook celebrated your one month anniversary about how cringe some couples could be. Anyone doubting your relationship might just lead to Taehyung doubting your relationship and then to Jungkook losing his bet and all of this would have been for nothing. That couldn’t happen, right? You had to do something against it!

“They probably won’t stop bothering you until you tell them yes, right?” 

You tried your hardest to sound casual, nonchalant, chill as some might say. This was no big deal, you told yourself.

It wasn’t what Jungkook had expected. He thought you’d give some roundabout answer that in the end summarised that you needed to keep things slow and easy. But you agreed. You were going to meet his parents. He searched for something in your features, anything to tell him how you genuinely felt about it. He was trying to read you, but it was like he had the wrong dictionary. 

“If that’s alright with you-” Maybe it was to hit the nail on the head, finish it off, you couldn’t say. But the urge was strong right then, just once to say it. “—babe?”

You turned to him and looked at him almost confidently. It was both your face and the pet name, but Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh. Of course, now you were going to call him babe. A grin spread across his lips.

“Okay, yeah.” He held your hand firmer and tighter. “I’d be more than happy for you to meet my parents. They’d be thrilled.”

He was a great liar. It sounded oh so very genuine.

You squeezed his hand and turned to Jimin. “I guess you can text them I’m going.”

“I think that was it,” Jungkook said, handing you the last few dirty plates. 

“Alright,” you hummed, moving around some of the dishes to make some more space in the dishwasher. 

“Oh,” Chaeyoung exclaimed in surprise upon seeing Jungkook standing there with you, “you can head out first. I’ll help Y/N.” 

She wore a smile on her lips, but you knew better. 

“It’s fine. I’ll just help-”

“No, really, get out,” Chaeyoung interrupted, slipping just the slightest bit and you gave Jungkook a look, almost reaching out for his hand and giving it a squeeze. She was curt, too curt. It surprised him, clearly. “I’m the host. I’ll clean up. Join the others in the living room.”

You offered him a nod, and with that Jungkook slipped out, receiving a more genuine smile and a quiet thank you from Chaeyoung on the way out because she knew he was more than confused by her just now. Before he even had the chance to turn to ask whether or not he should close the door, she did herself. You knew to prepare yourself, putting the stack of dishes aside. She folded her arms in front of her stomach.

This was an interrogation.

In another world (read: in a detective TV show), there’d be a metal table between you and you’d be handcuffed to it. A clock would decorate the blank walls, ticking away in the background, and the air would be chilly and humid, stifling almost. Chaeyoung would dramatically slide pictures across to you, and they would be incriminating ones, blurry but clearly depicting you in the middle of whatever crime you were accused of. She would point at them and tell you how you had one chance to tell her the truth.

“How are you?”

Just the question almost made you laugh. It was heartwarming. You knew exactly what she was trying to get out of you—if it hurt you at all that Narae had met Jungkook’s parents and he had seemingly wanted to keep you a secret. You dried your hands on the kitchen towel.

“I’m fine, thanks. How are you-”

“Are you lying?”

She took this very seriously, her face not even holding a hint of a smile. Again, in another world she’d stare you down, gaze cold and unwavering, and ask if you wanted to try again.

“Do I look like I am lying?”

You were lying about all of it, about most things concerning Jungkook and you these days. But you couldn’t say that. You couldn’t admit that the entire conversation during dinner hurt you to the degree it did, to a degree you would rather not admit, that it hurt at all to begin with. Because being hurt implied you had some sort of right to be, implied Jungkook owed you… something. And that was just not true.

Chaeyoung paused, sizing you up. It was hard to figure out what conclusion she came to, her eyes narrowed and sharp. She opened her mouth, but right then, someone announced themselves with a knock on the door. Without waiting, they poked their head in, and it could realistically only be one person. 

“What did she say?” Jisoo asked.

Were you air today?

“Says she’s fine,” Chaeyoung said, wrinkling her nose.

“You don’t believe her?” Jisoo slipped inside and slowly closed the door, making sure beforehand though that no one was in earshot. Chaeyoung scrutinised you for another moment before coming to her conclusion with a long sigh.

“No, I do.” She paused before looking at you. “You know I’d- we’d rip him into pieces for you, right?”

You had no doubt for a second they would. Actually, all of your friends would, but Chaeyoung and Jisoo would be the first ones to throw a punch.

“I do, and I love you guys for it,” you say, smiling genuinely because God, you did love your friends so much. “But you don’t have to because I’m fine. And like I said, we had talked about it. You know how I am. Parents aren’t my thing.”

“Well, for that you just agreed to go meet them,” Jisoo mumbled, scrunching her nose, and you swallowed. Maybe it was hearing it from someone else, or maybe it was because you were no longer sitting around the dinner table with everyone expectedly staring at you and awaiting for an explanation, but it finally hit you. What exactly you had agreed to. Once your mind wasn’t clouded with the thought of Narae, you realised that oh my God, you were meeting Jungkook’s parents.

It was funny how quickly things could change. How just a few minutes ago, you didn’t worry about it at all, only thinking of Narae and her stupid perfect grin and the fact she had met them, and now you were worried because what would they say about you? Would they like you? What if they were like Jaehwa’s parents and-

“Now, don’t make that face,” Chaeyoung interrupted, putting a hand on your shoulder, noticing your spiral. “They’re gonna like you.”

“Yeah, you don’t have anything to worry about at all, Y/N,” Jisoo reassured. “If anything, they should be on their best behaviour. Because if not…”

And like the amazing friend she was, Jisoo started punching the air, showing you her swift moves that she would put on Jungkook’s parents. 

“Can’t you see? They say one wrong thing, and it’d be over for them. Ji would do these weird punches and knock them right out,” Chaeyoung said. “It’s gonna be fine. Has to.”

“Also, with the way Jungkook acts with you, let’s be honest he’s head over heels for you,” Jisoo argued, putting an arm around you. “I can see him standing up for you.”

“Yeah, I hate to give a man any credit, but he would.”

“And again, if he doesn’t…” Jisoo didn’t finish her sentence, instead showing you her oh so brilliant and not wobbly but actually super fatal kick.

They both turned to you, and you slowly nodded. Maybe they were right. You didn’t necessarily think Jungkook would stand up for you, not because you didn’t believe he would but because you didn’t even let yourself go there. If you did, if you assumed he would do something like that for you, you’d be having expectations for him and you had no right to. But you knew that Chaeyoung and Jisoo would be there for you, and it was a comforting thought. That was enough. Your friends were enough. And maybe, you just liked to believe them too—that it would all somehow turn out just fine.

“Yeah, I guess,” you mumbled.

“It’s gonna be fine!” Chaeyoung repeated, squeezing your shoulder.

Before you could dwell on it any further, a knock on the kitchen door interrupted you. 

“Yeah?” Jisoo said, and a moment later, Hoseok stuck his head in, offering an apologetic smile because he obviously knew what was going on in here.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Jimin asked for you, Chae,” he said, sounding unsure. He clearly hadn’t gotten a reason as to why he was supposed to call for Chaeyoung. She frowned and seemed less than willing to go, but you saw this as a great opportunity to put an end to this conversation and move on. Ignoring the fact you were going to meet Jungkook’s parents wasn’t going to solve the issue, but right now your brain felt mushy and drained. Too much of today’s focus had been on you, you couldn’t do it any longer.

“Let’s just all go,” you said. “We’ve been here for too long anyway.”

Jisoo agreed, mumbling something about how she couldn’t leave Jennie alone with all of the guys outside any longer, not in good conscience at least. She helped you put the last few plates into the dishwasher, and hooked her arm with yours as you made your way back into the living room, her head resting on your shoulder.

“Did he say what he wanted?” Chaeyoung asked Hoseok, the two walking behind you. 

“Probably something stupid.”

And indeed it was.

Because the moment Jisoo and you had made it past the doorstep, Jimin jumped up and pointed at Chaeyoung and Hoseok. The two froze, all eyes on them, and when you turned to look, you found them in the same fate as Jungkook and you had been in earlier.

“Oh, Jimin,” you chuckled, shaking your head. He beamed with pride, chest out and a grin bigger than his entire face. 

“We aren’t-” Chaeyoung couldn’t even finish her sentence, sputtering for words. “No! This is… stupid!”

“You have to. Otherwise, it’s bad luck,” Jungkook grinned. “That’s what you said, right, Seok?”

Hoseok looked positively ready to strangle him, but you couldn’t have been prouder of him right now. Even though Jimin was the one to orchestrate this, it felt like sweet revenge to get back at Hoseok. And really, you were helping him and Chaeyoung. Maybe today was the day finally something would happen.

“Seok and I aren’t- we aren’t-”

“It’s just a kiss!” Seokjin said, and you nodded. Because as much as you felt for them, having been in their position, you knew Chaeyoung wouldn’t have come to your rescue. She might have disapproved, but she would have definitely enjoyed the show and let it go on until you kissed.

“Just do a quick peck,” Taehyung suggested, pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek to demonstrate. The older one wiped his cheek and shook his head, but there was clear amusement tugging on the corners of his mouth too. You laughed at the absurdity of it all, especially when you caught the embarrassed looks on Chaeyoung’s and Hoseok’s faces.

“Also if you hadn’t walked in together like I had predicted you obviously would, you wouldn’t be in this situation,” Jimin said, and Hoseok let out a noise that could only be described as a weak and mangled attempt at faux upset. “You guys are so clearly in love with each other anyway, just kiss!”

“Oh my God,” Chaeyoung let out a scoff, but it sounded pitchy and panicked, “seriously? H-how many times do we have to tell you guys that we are just really good friends? Just like Jimin and Y/N!”

“Don’t be ridiculous here, Chae,” you laughed. “Jimin and I are just friends, but you two? Oh, please.”

“There was an attempt, huh?”

Chaeyoung glared at Jisoo, her cheeks gaining a deeper shade of red with every passing second. In a last ditch attempt, she turned to Hoseok, hoping for some backup from him.

“Tell them-”

This time when her sentence got lodged in her throat, it was for a very different reason. Because Hoseok was looking at her like he was ready to risk it all in front of everybody. Like he was ready to just say it, do something. And Chaeyoung knew, freezing to a statue.

Jisoo and you looked at each other, gasping. Her nails dug into your arm and you held onto her just as strongly. Your breath hitched in your throat as Hoseok placed a hand on Chaeyoung’s cheek, pausing and hesitating for a moment, as if he waited for her to reject him before ultimately kissing her. And instantly, she pulled him closer.

It was like a scene out of every 2000s romantic comedy, the finale of the third act, what you had all been waiting up to. It was a scene to swoon and die for. 

A sense of joy you had rarely felt overtook you, a rush. You began shaking Jisoo, mouth split into a grin. As much as you had wanted and actually still wanted to strangle Jimin tonight for bringing that stupid mistletoe, you were just about ready to kiss him (platonically and only figuratively of course).

“See!” Jimin laughed, pointing at Hoseok and Chaeyoung, both of them flushed red to the tips of their ears. But they were smiling too. This had been good.

“I can’t believe that this is how you guys get together,” Jisoo laughed, Chaeyoung and Hoseok looking at each other, his arm wrapped around her middle. They laughed, shrugging.

Jimin proudly pointed at himself, beaming brighter than a Christmas tree. “All my doing.”

“Shut up,” Yoongi laughed, trying and failing to kick him in the knee. And though his attempt wasn’t successful, it earned him a thank you! from Chaeyoung. Jimin looked over to Namjoon for some kind of help, but he simply shrugged. He scoffed when he saw Seokjin squeeze Yoongi’s shoulder, mumbling something about how he was just jealous.

“I mean… neither did I,” Hoseok chuckled, seeming still completely out of it, unbelieving.

“Thought about it a lot, huh?” Taehyung asked, grinning, and for a moment, you could see Hoseok struggling to answer, decide whether or not he wanted to admit the blatant truth, confess that he’d been imagining this more times than he should have. In the end, he cared less about saving face and looking cool, and much more about who he had his arm wrapped around, finally.

“Yeah, always.”

And just like that, Chaeyoung pulled him down for another kiss. The sight warmed Jisoo’s heart because she turned to Jennie, reaching out for her. With a slight tug, she was at Jennie’s side. You laughed, shaking your head, just to catch Jungkook looking at you. For a moment, you didn’t quite know what to do even though you weren’t the one caught staring. The same couldn’t be said about Jungkook. He didn’t seem to care at all, eyes not holding an ounce of uncertainty. It was obvious that he was much more confident and comfortable with being seen by you. Something you still weren’t at this point, not entirely at least, not right in this very moment, or… actually ever.

Jungkook didn’t say anything as he stretched his hand out. You hesitated, if just for a second. Because maybe you shouldn’t. Not when your heart was beating the way it was. And yet, you did take it, did let him pull you close and hold you and press his lips to the top of your head.

“You don’t have to meet them if you don’t want to.”

He whispered it, spoke in a soft and warm voice. His words floated to your ears, and you knew. You didn’t have to do anything ever actually. Not for him at least. He expected nothing from you. You closed your eyes, and listened to his heartbeat in his chest. Strong and firm. It was the opposite of yours. Yours was a mess, thumping and skipping beats. 

“I will.”

Jungkook smiled as bright as the sun, pressing another kiss to your head. You could feel the excitement rushing through his fingertips, his arm tightening around you. You didn’t know the reason for it, his excitement. It didn’t make sense why he would be, you weren’t his girlfriend after all. You refused to think about it, preferring the bliss of ignorance.

God, you loved him so much. You did. You loved Jungkook to an indescribable amount. And God, was it time to stop all of this.

The video had been playing for less than twenty seconds when the call came in, your phone lighting up beside you. You paused your laptop, his name taking up your entire phone screen. And though Jungkook and you had begun calling each other more frequently now, spending at least once a week on the phone together, you were confused when you glanced at the time. But you accepted the call, sliding your thumb over the glass. Some ruffling met your ears before finally, he came through.

“Hi.”

For some reason, there was a smile on your lips.

“What do you want?” you laughed, glancing at the time in the upper left corner of your phone. 01:24. “It’s late. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Could say the same about you,” Jungkook argued, and you rolled your eyes, scoffing slightly, already sensing where this was going. You leaned back into your couch, looking at the ceiling with renewed interest.

“I’m not tired.”

“Neither am I.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Then neither do I.”

“Well, you had a full day of classes today, so you must be at least a little tired,” you shot back, and a beat of silence passed. For a moment, it seemed like you came out victorious. 

“You know my schedule?”

The question hung in front of you, and you were glad that this was just a call. Because you could see it, his stupid face. The proud smile on his lips, the grin that adorned it. He would inch closer to you, push you to answer, and you would cave and crumble terribly. 

“... no.”

And Jungkook began laughing almost immediately, his voice booming through your phone. You cringed, biting your tongue. 

“I’m going to hang up.”

“No, no, no, don’t,” he said, still laughing however. “I’m sorry.”

His apology didn’t sound an ounce sincere, but you were never going to actually hang up. A comfortable silence passed, and you could have stayed on the phone forever.

“Oh, have you watched the newest video I sent you yet?”

“You mean the two hour long video essay about the phenomenal music scoring of Avatar?” you hummed, glancing over to your laptop to see the screen dark already. “Yeah, I was about to watch it when you called.”

Somehow, you could hear his smile forming on his lips. “You should watch it.”

“Yeah, I will,” you said, sighing and rolling your eyes.

There was silence for another few seconds. 

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, and you could tell he was genuinely curious. You blinked, having completely forgotten what you had been up to until he called. You looked at the ball of yarn sitting in your lap, your attempt at a scarf hanging between the two knitting needles. But you couldn’t tell him, it would ruin the surprise. 

And so, you returned the question instead. “What are you doing?”

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.”

Jungkook sighed. “You’re very fun to talk to sometimes, you know?”

You laughed, not missing the irony in his voice. “Thanks. You are too.”

“Just tell me,” he said, and you frowned at his poor attempt to get you to talk. 

“Why don’t you tell me first?”

He let out a small scoff, and you could picture his face perfectly. The way his tongue would be digging into his cheek and his eyes rolling back because God, you were frustrating sometimes! But there would be an undeniable smile on his lips. There always was. 

“Alright,” Jungkook said, and you raised your brows. “I’m outside.”

You frowned. “Where are you going? At this hour?”

“Why don’t you guess?” 

“Just tell me.”

He paused, hesitated. Somehow, you could hear his grin turn bigger.

“How about you look outside and see for yourself instead?”

Your heart sank in your chest, something strange taking hold of you. You moved without a thought, almost knocking over one of your pothos sitting on your window sill when you pulled the curtain aside. The glass was cool to touch, but you pressed your entire hand against it, just to feel something steady. Because right now, you felt the opposite of it, heart jumping to your throat and beating there like it was bound to fall out. Because there was no way that he was here right now! This wasn’t a cheesy romcom! But you also knew that he wouldn’t lie to you.

And he didn’t. 

There he was, standing on the sidewalk, in front of your building, phone pressed to his ear, head in his neck, mouth in a grin and waving up to you. 

You opened and closed your mouth several times, scoffing in the end and shaking your head.

“You’re so… stupid, Jeon.”

Jungkook laughed, “Well, that’s been established before.”

“You’re such a ridiculous stupid little man, Jeon!” you went on, pressing a hand to your forehead and squeezing your eyes closed for a moment. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, is it a crime now to drop by your girlfriend’s home when you miss her?”

The words rolled off his tongue with a certain confidence and ease. Two things you rarely ever had, even less around Jungkook. It always seemed so very fragile and dangerous, to be so open and vulnerable. You couldn’t snap back, tell him how ridiculous he was because you had just seen each other two days ago at the Christmas party. Hell, you had been spending almost every day with each other—either on the phone or in person driving to Seo’s bakery to pick up your needed batch of cookies or watching Avatar until you both could recite every line. And yet here he was, telling you that he missed you, so much so that he needed to see you in the middle of the night, at 1:42.

Right then, it became blatantly obvious to you—that Jungkook and you had crudely blown the lines you had established beforehand, agreed to contractually, into absolute smithereens, that you two had made new ones, dangerous ones, ones that resembled an actual relationship, and that, even worse, you had not only never talked about it but gotten used to the new rules, comfortable.

And even with that realisation lingering in your mind with big glaring bright red flags hissed high above and every possible alarm blaring in the air, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell Jungkook that this was wrong, that he should go home. You should, it would spare your sanity. But your heart had only grown bigger and fonder of him. And it was horrible because you knew even more time with him, alone, in your own four walls, was the worst thing you could do. There would be nowhere for you to go, run off to. But you couldn’t send him home. Because really, you didn’t want to. Because it did excite you. That he was here. That he had gotten up, changed, and made his way to you. That the cold hadn’t even been enough to stop him.

“Now, open up. It’s freezing. My hands and feet are already blue,” he told you, adding a dramatic shiver to his words.

You paused, frowned, searched and didn’t see it anywhere. It clicked with you. You hadn’t heard the engine or turn signal during the entirety of your call. 

“Did you- did you walk here? Why didn’t you take your car?”

“Felt like it.”

“You’re so stupid, oh my God,” you groaned, rolling your eyes as you repeatedly pressed the buzzer to open the front door for him. “Never ever do that again. It’s freezing outside!”

Jungkook responded with a laugh. It echoed on the walls of your empty lobby, reverberating through the phone. “Alright, I won’t. I promise.”

“Also, shouldn’t you be writing that stupid paper about Newton or Einstein or whatever?”

“It’s not about either of them, but I still have a bit of time until the deadline,” he explained, and you heard him walk up the stairs. “Thanks for remembering though.”

You pressed your lips together. “What if I was sleeping?”

“But you aren’t.” He sounded so incredibly smug and proud. You could have punched him. “Also, I know you, cabbage. You’d rather die than go to bed at a reasonable time.”

And somehow, that admission embarrassed you. It did. Terribly. Because he did, he did know you oh so well. 

You left the front door ajar for him, waiting there with your hands folded in front of you, fingers picking on each other, as you listened to his steps grow closer and louder. His hand was the first thing you saw, reaching and touching the doorknob, and then it was suddenly just all of him. In front of you. He smiled at your sight, and you knew you looked more embarrassed and unsure than ever before. You were relieved you still hadn’t changed the lightbulb that had burned through all those months ago, allowing the dark to obscure you from him, a soft shadow across your face. 

Jungkook shrugged off his coat, hanging it on the hook behind the front door and revealing his maroon knit sweater and black pants to you. When he looked at you again, his gaze softened.

“Hi, cabbage.” His cheeks and nose were brutally red from the wind, but he seemed as happy as ever. “I made you something.”

You noticed the metal lunchbox in his hands only when he pushed it towards you, and when you took it, it was still warm. Like whatever he had prepared, he had packed up the minute it was done and came straight to you. 

“What did you make?” you asked, and you knew he wouldn’t tell you, waiting for you to open the lunchbox instead and discover for yourself. You peeled open the lid just a little, revealing a small corner when the smell hit you. Your eyes shot to Jungkook, and he looked both sheepish and proud. 

“You didn’t.”

A gasp, your features melting. He wrinkled his nose, turned his head to the side.

“I was gonna go get some from Seo’s Bakery, but they- did you know they’re on Christmas break?”

You nodded, eyes unable to take off of him, blabbering, “Yeah, of course. They always are. Every Christmas. Have always been.”

Jungkook made a gesture towards you, shrugging. “Well, so I thought- I don’t know. I’d make you some instead. You gotta fuel your addiction somehow, right?”

There was no denying how many sweet gestures Jungkook had made ever since you’d been doing this (whatever one might classify this as). The amount of flowers and cookies he’d showered you with. The amount of smiles and laughs he’d pulled from you. The amount of love he’d shown you, even if it wasn’t real. 

You put the lunchbox aside, needing to return the gesture at least once. Leaning over your couch, you grabbed the half-finished scarf you’d made for him. You wanted to show him, reciprocate some of the affection and love. But in your haste, you forgot the ball of yarn the scarf was connected to.

“Oh, fuck.”

Like a roll of paper, it unfurled, and though it would be annoying to roll it all up again, you shoved the scarf into Jungkook’s face, uncaring.

“It’s not finished- or particularly well done. But- I made that… for you,” you hesitated, a lump lodged in your throat. “I also just chose a random colour- if you don’t like red, I could definitely change it, you know. It’s not even done-”

He took it from your hands, silencing you. Your brows knit together as you watched him admire the intricate and detailed rows of red yarn. And then, he wrapped it around his neck even though the scarf was still attached to the ball of yarn and the knitting needles were poking into his neck. 

“Wait, no,” you laughed, already reaching to take it off. “You don’t have to wear it or anything- Like I said, it’s not even done. I still have to-”

Jungkook took hold of your hands. Your eyes met his. He smiled at you. 

“You’re so cute, cabbage,” he told you, his gaze so full and soft. And you melted right then and there, your face lit up like a fire. Melted even more so when Jungkook kissed you and pressed his forehead against yours. “I love it, cabbage. Thank you so much.”

“Really?” you said it softly, delicately, anxiously.

As if it was a proper way of responding, Jungkook took your hand and placed it on his chest. You could feel it then, under your palm and fingertips, through the fabric of his sweater, his heart. 

“Really.”

And you let yourself believe him a little.

You don’t know how. It was blurry to you, all of it, but somehow, his head ended up in your lap with your fingers threading through his hair and your back pressed to the side of your bed. You both shared the batch of cookies while you finished a few more rows for the scarf before ultimately calling it, putting it to the side, promising him you’d finish it as soon as possible. Instead, a bottle of supermarket wine found its way into your hands, the glasses always filled with the red liquid. Neither of you said much. And really, there simply wasn’t a need to, the minutes ticking by as the night went on and on. An intimacy lay between you, an intimacy most would never know, an intimacy that could only come from the strange nature of your relationship. 

“What?” you said, almost laughing, sure you had to have misheard him.

“I’m serious. I really like it here,” Jungkook repeated. “I like your home, a lot.”

Your mouth opened and closed before you shook your head and laughed. “But why?”

To you, there wasn’t much to like about your home here. If anything there was more to dislike than like. It was too cramped, too small. The furniture was old and shabby and the lights didn’t even work properly. On bad days, it would get either unbearably freezing or hot in here. And on particularly bad days where your luck had run out, the water would run cold and the electricity cut out. There wasn’t much to love here, except for your big bed and pothos you had on your window sill.

“I feel like I get to see another side of you,” Jungkook told you, shrugging and wrinkling his nose. “You seem much more relaxed at home.”

You frowned. “Where else should I be relaxed if not at home?”

He rolled his eyes at your comment, shaking his head. “No, I just mean… you don’t seem on guard at home.”

“I’m on guard?”

There was a pause. He looked at you for a long time, eyes wandering across your entire face.

“Yeah, sometimes.” He wrinkled his forehead a little. “I think you used to be more on guard, or at least you were around me.” There was another pause, another beat, another moment of suspense. “Wouldn’t you say you’ve opened up to me more since you let me in here for the first time?”

The question stumped you. Because did everything really change then? You couldn’t say. To a certain degree, Jungkook was right. Things had drastically shifted between him and you. Before you would have never been in this position—on the floor together, in your home, his head in your lap and your hands combing through his hair as you shared cookies and wine. But before you would have talked about it, established rules and laws and all kinds of conditions, and gone through every possibility. Now though, the two of you had gotten awfully comfortable with just simply not.

“Why? Because I slept with you?” you quipped, knowing already even in your slightly tipsy state that it wasn’t that.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” he said, sighing. You wrinkled your nose and looked to the ceiling for a few moments, leaning your head back.

“Should I be on guard?”

“Around me?” Jungkook said, shaking his head. “No, never. I’m an honest boy.”

You laughed, even more so when you looked at him and he was grinning proudly into your face, standing by his cheesy words. “You make me want to kick you out.”

“Please don’t,” he said, offering you puppy eyes and snuggling even closer to you. “I wouldn’t know what to do if you did.”

He winced when you tugged on his hair, slightly away from you. “You’re annoying.”

Jungkook laughed, and you went back to silence for a while.

“Are you ever going to tell me what Joon and the others said to you that made you run into the bathroom the other day?”

It was probably the alcohol, all the time you had spent together, sitting there on the cold floor. Your mind wasn’t the clearest anymore, and neither was his. 

“They just told me how whipped you are for me. How deeply and madly you’re in love with me,” you snorted, teasingly inching closer to his face with each word before pulling away. 

He smiled a little, clearly expecting worse. “Really? They said that?”

“I know.” You took two big sips, downing more than half of what was in the glass, not wanting to lose that fuzzy feeling in your veins. “It’s funny, right?”

You snorted, knowing exactly what he was thinking—That was ridiculous! 

“But true.”

Jungkook didn’t hesitate. But he said it softly. So softly in fact you looked at him to check that you hadn’t made it up. When his mouth widened into a grin, you scoffed.

“Oh, shut up.”

“It’s true. I do. I am.”

It sounded so very ironic to your ears. You shook your head and scoffed. “Is that what you told Narae too?”

Her mention from your lips surprised Jungkook, his eyes growing a little wider. You were equally as taken aback. But it was true. Because you did think about it sometimes if he did and said the same things to Narae. If everything you experienced with him had been experienced before, just with someone else, someone with a perfect smile and perfect parents. 

“You don’t know me at all, Y/N,” Jungkook mumbled, and it sounded accusatory. 

Your heart dropped in your chest. It felt like you were shot, the hurt instant. You looked away, teeth sinking into your tongue. But he wasn’t off. You didn’t know Jungkook very well. Why should you though? Not like he and you were anything meaningful, like you shared anything truthful. And it was so very embarrassing, so very embarrassing that you felt hurt at all. 

Jungkook seemed to surprise himself with his words, seemed not to mean it like that because he was scrambling the very next second, lifting up from your lap and pleading for you to look his way. 

“No, no, no, I-I don’t mean it like that,” he said, voice a little higher than usual, reaching for your hand, squeezing. There’s a desperation in his voice, a panic swinging with it that he might have just ruined a perfectly fine conversation. 

“You just seem to,” he hesitated, “have this very weird and funny idea of me in your head. I-I never told Narae anything like that. You’re the first one.”

You looked at him. There was a deep crease between his brows, and he went on when you wouldn’t say anything.

“You’re the only one who’s ever made me do these weird things, you know?” He added a chuckle, but there wasn’t much humour to it at all. You tried to smile for him, feeling this conversation was taking a rather serious turn. It was in dire need of some lightness.

“I make you do weird things?” you mumbled, slightly shaking your head, looking away. “I don’t think I’m capable of that.”

“Do you really think I’d try to bake cookies for anyone else in the middle of the night? Or walk to their home at night, not knowing if they’re even actually home because I wanted to surprise them? Or send every Avatar video essay I come across? Do you really think I’d want to dress up with anyone else in a couple’s costume than you?”

You couldn’t find the right response then, your lips pressing together. It was difficult for you to say whether or not you believed him. Because you didn’t think you did, not genuinely at least, not deep down. You never really did with Jungkook, believe him. Because you never let yourself go there, not fully. In the back of your mind, you knew that this was ending, only started because of a stupid little meaningless bet, that your relationship whichever form it had morphed to had no real genuine basis. 

“Do you really think I’d tell anyone else I-”

You shoved a cookie into his mouth, silencing him. Your gaze turned sideways, it was easier to speak for you then. If you looked at Jungkook, you wouldn’t be able to say anything.

“Alright, I got it, Jeon. Now, eat your cookie and shut up,” you chuckled, and your words were accompanied with a lightness, a lightness you forced out of yourself and hoped was enough to quiet Jungkook. He stared at you, eyes big, before ultimately letting out a chuckle himself when he saw you smile at him. He held onto your hand, squeezing it. 

“If I wasn’t too lazy to reach for my phone, I’d take a picture of you right now,” he told you with his mouth stuffed, matching your tone, keeping it light and fun. It was amazing, how both of you simply moved on. He broke off a piece and held it to your mouth. You took it from his fingertips, letting him feed you. The sugar melted on your tongue. “Really thought you had learned your lesson, you know? That you were less judgemental now.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, still chewing. He laughed when you rolled your eyes.

For a few minutes, neither of you said anything. It seemed like the moment had resolved as easily as it had come up. You took a few sips from your glass, filling it back up when you emptied it, and Jungkook shared the last bite of the cookie with you, holding the piece in front of your lips and allowing you to pull it from his fingertips. And when he kept his fingers in front of your mouth, you pressed a quick kiss to them. He smiled and took your hand into his again, fingers interlacing. 

“You’re so weird,” you said, the corners of your eyes creasing when you smiled. 

Jungkook returned it, opened his mouth to retort something clever and funny, but it was like the fire died in him, as if he simply couldn’t let the moment from before slide as easily as you both had hoped and tried for it to. He reached for it again, pulling it back on shore. His face changed, morphed into something else. You couldn’t pinpoint his exact expression, but your stomach churned. For a second, you felt this brief need to cry.

“You—” He hesitated, afraid to ask because he knew you didn’t want him to and he shouldn’t but he needed to ask. “—believe me, right?”

And somehow that question carried the entire weight of the earth because you suffocated underneath it in an instant. There seemed to be so much. It didn’t make sense, there shouldn’t be any deeper meaning behind his question. After all, he and you weren’t anything! And yet, he looked at you as if you were. When you wouldn’t respond, looked away instead, Jungkook let out a chuckle. But it sounded empty and dry, and you knew you had hurt him. 

“I’m sorry.”

There was a sadness to your words, and he noticed. It was the same kind of sadness he heard colouring your words when you had told him about Jaehwa and the heartbreak that had come with him. And he knew then not to take it to heart, your inability to believe him.

“I’m sorry. I want to- It’s just-”

There was desperation, hurt, frustration. You buried your face into your hands, eyes closing. It’s just hard sometimes! I don’t really believe anyone really, you wanted to say. But you didn’t. The admission felt too much, too hard to bring over your lips, too honest. You couldn’t do it. 

Jungkook didn’t say anything, and you waited for him to take all of his things and go. The front door would click shut and with that, you would have ruined it, all of it, the past few months. But it didn’t happen. You didn’t hear his steps moving away from you, or the front door opening. Instead, Jungkook cupped your face with both of his hands, a smile on his lips when you finally looked at him.

“It’s fine.”

And you wished it felt like that to you. Fine. But you hadn’t felt quite fine for a while now. Not since your heart began filling up every time you looked at him. 

“Is it?”

His gaze softened, melted like the first layer of snow in the early morning hours. His thumb brushed over your cheekbones, and his touch was so very warm and comforting. You closed your eyes, and he pressed his lips to yours. It did feel fine right then when he kissed you. He held you firmly and strongly, he wasn’t going to let go. Even if you might not believe him and had your doubts. Your hands curled around his shirt, and you were the one to pull it off of him. Because you needed that right now, something simple. 

“Are you sure-”

You silenced him, removing your shirt. He looked at you for another second before kissing you again. You moved up from the floor to your bed. His lips pressed to every inch of your skin, slow and delicately. Your breathing flattened, soft whimpers emerging from your throat when his hands wandered, brushed the inside of your thighs. Jungkook was everywhere, holding and gripping and squeezing and kissing. It made your chest swell, and for a second, you thought you needed a second heart. Another one to hold it all in. All the feelings brewing inside you, all of your feelings for him. It was too much to bear for your one singular heart.

He held you, stayed close. He never allowed any space between him and you, never allowed you to think he’d get up and leave. And you never let him slip away from you, not tonight, caging him in. One day he would, you were certain of it, convinced. The contract was running up with each day, but right now, he was here, closer than ever.

And in the high of it all, your breaths mixed with his, the air smelling of sweat and lust, your faces flushed and bodies sticky, there were words lying between him and you. In fact, there was so much, it felt heavy. You hoped, in vain, he would let it slide, quietly.

“Y/N, I-”

Jungkook stopped when you shook your head, pleading. You knew the ending of his sentence, he had told you it many times before. And right now, the thought of hearing it, hurt you more than it ever had before. 

“I-”

But he stopped again when you closed your eyes and pressed your lips to his in response, hands cupping his face. He hesitated at first before kissing you back, hoping you’d understand either way. That he wanted this. That he wanted you. You didn’t say it, but Jungkook knew not to cross that line, not right now. As if him not saying it would prevent the inevitable heartbreak you’d be going through in just a few weeks, would change anything. As if you didn’t already love him more than you could comprehend. As if loving him didn’t hurt you.

→ thanks for reading !! if you have any thoughts, id love to hear it!

#jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #bts scenarios #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook implied smut #bts x reader

[tervaneula]

u said leoichi drabble prompt request. consider. one injured and the other protecting them and then the injured one has to calm them down bc 'they're okay, really, promise, rest now'

OKAY SO this fused with a ghost of an idea I've had for a while and it ended up being a bit more serious than the prompt called for and a lot longer than just a drabble. (It's ~1120 words.) CW: blood and injury

Also I made a silly header thing I don't know what to do with, so I'm putting it here since this fic doesn't come with art of its own :'3

“Yui, I’m okay–” 

The rabbit turns his head to look at him, furious. 

“I heard your shell crack, Leonardo, and I'm not an idiot! Now stay down and let me handle this!” 

He falls quiet for a moment before redirecting his glare towards their adversary and then adds a muted, “Please.” 

There's no compromising with Yuichi in this state, apparently, and Leonardo stays right where he got crushed between metal claws and the concrete, splayed on the ground next to those very same claws which had gotten swiftly cut from the wrist for their transgressions.

He does roll onto his side to get his body weight off his shell, and yeah, alright, one or more of the old cracks that never healed properly must have split open again. It's tough to breathe and his back feels… His kimono is sticking to his shell and his back feels wet now that he's paying attention, and that. That is not good. 

Just his luck to run into a massive mecha wreaking havoc on an otherwise lovely day, huh. He wasn't even supposed to be on patrol and thus is embarrassingly swordless. 

Good thing that his date and their resident samurai always carries his. 

The slider watches as Yuichi does quick work of the metal hunk's wiring behind its knees, his frighteningly sharp katana slicing through the cables like butter. The mech falls with a ground-shaking rumble, unable to rise again, arm flailing as it tries to catch the rabbit. It's no use, Yuichi is much smaller and faster – and as soon as he reaches the mech's head, it's already rolling. The construct immediately loses power and Yuichi wrenches the windowed hatch in its chest open. Turns out there's no pilot, just a program-operated dashboard, and he makes sure that none of the controls are functional after he's done with them. 

Leonardo thinks he could watch Yuichi trash villains all day long, he's practically mesmerised by the strength hidden in that soft frame despite his shell throbbing unpleasantly in tandem with his heartbeat. He sighs, lovestruck. 

As his final move, Yuichi thrusts his katana into the heart of the mecha and Leonardo sees a spray of ink-black oil splash all over Yuichi's face and the front of his kimono. It makes him laugh and he realises his mistake too late, his lungs struggling to draw breath again as he finally gets hit with the pain, his body trying to stop him from moving; from causing any more damage. Shit, shit, shit. 

He had hoped he wouldn’t need to bother any of his brothers today since he was supposed to spend the whole day with Yuichi but he knows to pick his battles, now. He opens the comm link embedded in his prosthetic, contacting someone who he knows will pick up. 

“Che~ello!” comes the cheerful answer in just a few seconds, and Leonardo can't help but smile. 

“Mikeyyy, hermano, I'm in a bit of a pickle,” he wheezes, feeling the shift in his little brother's energy as soon as he hears the strain in his voice. 

“Leo? Are you okay?” 

“Not really, no,” Leonardo grunts. “Got into a scuffle with some big haywire robot– don’t worry, that’s taken care of. I suspect Donnie will want to scrap it for parts. Um. My shell’s– my shell’s cracked though.” 

Leonardo can vividly imagine the colour draining from Michelangelo's face and it would be funny if he wasn't acutely aware of a broken shell coming with the very real possibility of his innards turning into outnards. 

“I'm calling Draxy. Stay put, I'll get Lee to pick you up.” 

“Right,” Leonardo sighs, the line going out just when Yuichi is finally done with the mech and rushing to his side, face haphazardly wiped from oil. His gaze is sharp as he kneels next to him, sweaty and out of breath, and Leonardo thinks he looks like a knight. Or maybe like a samurai of the old, in this case. 

“There’s my hero,” he coos before Yuichi can get a word out and the rabbit’s brow furrows. 

“Don’t start,” he snaps but his tone softens almost immediately, “I saw you calling someone. It’s bad, isn’t it? It��� it looks really bad.” 

“Yeeeah, this kimono is definitely ruined,” Leonardo laments, “unless you know how to, gh, get blood out of corduroy? No? Or the obi?” 

Yuichi stares. 

“A– a shame, really, I did like this one a lot–” 

“Leonardo!” Yuichi interrupts him and grabs his bicep, looking two seconds away from crying. Leonardo frowns. He knows he’s getting a little delirious but he was sincerely trying his best to lift his mate’s mood. 

“Leon, please, you’re rambling. Is someone coming? Can I do anything?” 

“‘m not rambling,” Leonardo grumbles, hissing when he fills his lungs again. “Leo’s coming to get us, Draxy– Draxum will treat the shell. And no, better keep the obi in place until we get to the medbay.” 

Yuichi’s shoulders slump and he sighs, most likely relieved that he’s not going to have to figure out how to deal with a cracked shell. Leonardo does not like the lingering worry in Yuichi’s gaze one bit, though, and he offers him a grin. It’s a little shaky but whatever. 

“Heeey, bunbun. Listen. This is nothing I haven’t been through before. I’ll be fine.” 

Yuichi gives him an honest-to-God kicked-puppy look and Leonardo thinks it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen in his life. He almost tells him so but Yuichi cups his cheek and his forced grin melts away into surprised silence. 

“I hate seeing you hurt,” Yuichi murmurs, leaning down to press his forehead against Leonardo’s. The slider’s eyes flutter shut and he lifts his hand to hold onto Yuichi’s wrist. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I mean it. I should’ve been more careful.” 

Yuichi huffs and leans away to gently bump their foreheads together. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Maybe, but ’m still sorry. Didn’t want to worry you.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Yuichi says, exasperated. “You should know that at this point, I’ll always worry.” 

Leonardo grins and this time it’s genuine. Breathing in his partner’s scent is like a balm to him, even if it’s tinged with the bitterness of motor oil, even if his body currently thinks that breathing is overrated. Even if he just got called an idiot by none other than said partner. 

“Raincheck on the date?” he mumbles, and finally he gets a chuckle out of the rabbit. Yuichi straightens his back and flicks him on the nose. 

“Like you even needed to ask. Idiot.” 

Before Leonardo can express his displeasure of being called an idiot for a second time there’s the familiar electric hum of a portal opening behind him, and someone whistles. 

“Sheesh, old man. That kimono is definitely ruined.” 

#NOT PROOFREAD I had to stop myself because every time I tried to check this over I kept writing MORE and that's just not sustainable #sdfghhsfghjafsfd #anyway these peepaws gay #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt fanfiction #leoichi #peepaw leo #peepaw yuichi #other characters mentioned + a cameo from #rise leo #future leonardo #future leo #samurai rabbit #usagi chronicles #yuichi usagi #usagi yuichi #tervdraws #tervdrabbles

[theladybarnes]

CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER SIX

"Got me stressed out. It's not even my girlfriend.”

▸ summary: it’s a mental game to get out of woods, and you need help bringing yourself back to earth. ▸ characters: steve harrington, eddie munson,dustin henderson, ft. robin buckley & max mayfield ▸ word count: 12.6k ▸ warnings: angst, semi-fluff, SMUT (MINORS DNI +18), mentions of death ▸ series masterlist

“Flay this, you ugly piece of shit!”

 Your surroundings blurred as you stumbled against the railing in front of you. The air was thick with bitter smoke, and the distant cracking of fireworks reverberated through the air.  You’ve been here before. This was Starcourt Mall. 

 The night you all faced the Mind Flayer.

 In disbelief, you watched as your friends frantically threw fireworks at the colossal creature on the ground floor. Their faces etched with determination and words filled with anger. The Mind Flayer writhed and snarled from below. Whipping its gaze at all the directions the attacks were coming from.

 A surge of confusion swept over you. How the hell were you back here? Was this a dream? It had to be. The mall, the flayer– it all felt too surreal to be real. Yet, the vividness of the moment, the heat of the fireworks, and the urgency in your friends' voices made it impossible to dismiss as just imagination.

 There was a lull in the attack that you were able to hear your name being called out.

 The voice was unmistakable. Billy. 

 His desperate cries echoed through the chaos, adding to the overwhelming sense of dread. Slowly, you approached the edge of the railing to peer down below. 

 "Help me! Babydoll, please!” His desperate pleas cut through the chaos. “Don't let it get me!" 

 Your gaze locked onto the unfolding horror below as one of the Mind Flayer's tendril arms snaked around Billy, pulling him helplessly toward its gaping mouth. Billy's terrified screams resonated through the air, pleading for salvation. Your heart pounded in your chest, urging you to move quickly. But an invisible force seemed to paralyze you, rendering you powerless to intervene.

 As the monstrous entity snarled at Billy, the scene descended into a nightmarish mess. Walls turning dark red with the light slowly fading to the center of the room. Unable to witness his gruesome fate again, you fell backward in fear, the world around spiraling into darkness.

 However, the horror didn't end there. 

 Your friends, done with their attack to the flayer, all slowly crowded towards you. Surrounding you in a circle of their judgmental gazes before they pointed down to you. Shouting out their accusing cries. "WHY WON’T YOU SAVE HIM?" they demanded in a chorus of eerie, distorted voices. The weight of their accusations pressed upon you, suffocating you with guilt and terror that kept you on the floor. It gave them a better chance to close in on you as they shouted out more claims.

 “HE LOVED YOU!”

 “HE WANTED YOU!” 

 HE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!”

 Your jaw slacked at their words. Confusion in the mix of your fear as you tried to reach out to them. Hands shaking as you pleaded for them to realize the truth. “I didn’t want him to die! I don’t want anyone to die!” 

 Surely your friends would never think that about you. They had to know!

 Amidst the continuing cries, was one familiar voice shouting at you. Steve, who was silent until now, emerged from the nightmarish crowd, his face contorted with anguish as he kneeled down beside you. 

 "Why won't you save us?" He asked desperately, hands cupping around your shoulders. “You’re leaving us to die!” 

 When you didn’t say anything back he began to glare at you, words coming out in a spit as he gripped hard against you. “WHY WON’T YOU SAVE US?” His final yell echoed across the whole mall and in a final surge of terror, the world around you collapsed. 

 You jolted awake, gasping for breath as you forward. The world around me blurred as you slapped down against the dashboard. It took you a second to realize that you weren’t just sitting on the mall floor but in a moving car. 

 “Thank God!” 

 Eddie, who looked as sick as you felt, was behind the wheel, driving erratically as if the police were hot on your heels. Chrissy's contorted body flashed in your thoughts, reminding you of the horror you had just witnessed in the trailer.

 "Jesus Christ, slow down, Eddie!" you croaked out, voice tinged with a mix of fear and anger. "What the hell happened? Where are we?"

 Eddie's eyes darted toward you for a moment, his hands white as he held on the steering wheel tightly. "We didn’t have a choice, okay? We needed to get out of there before whatever killed Chrissy came for us too!”

 “B-but she’s back there!” you cried out, heart torn between the urgency of escape and the idea of abandoning Chrissy alone. “We can't just leave her there alone like that!"

 "We can't get caught up in this," Eddie insisted, frustration etched across his face. "You think anyone will believe I didn't have anything to do with it? Freak of the town, ring a bell?!"

 The reality of the situation hit you like a punch to the gut. But that was slowly pushed back when you realize just how far out of the main part of town you guys are at. You reached out to Eddie’s arm, tugging at it quickly. 

 “Eddie, tell me you’re not leaving town.”

 “All right, I’m not leaving town.” he said sarcastically, pressing down harder onto the pedal. The road began to blur and you could feel the anxiety grow in the pit of your stomach. 

 “We cannot leave town, Eddie! Turn back!” you urged. 

 His gaze shifted away, guilt and fear written all over his face. "Look, I know it’s bad. But I–we can’t risk it. Not when we don’t even know what the hell happened!”

 “It doesn’t matter! Turn back now!” The two of you are so busy glaring at each other that you both failed to notice the van veering off the road. "Shit, watch out!" you shouted as you finally registered what was about to happen.

 Eddie tried his best to press down on the brake and slow down the speed of the van, but to your horror, it only skidded over the long grass of Hawkin’s massive forest. Panic surged through you as the van rushed towards a tree, and you braced for impact.

 The world blurred as the van crashed through the underbrush, the sound of crunching metal and snapping branches deafening. In the midst of the chaos, you clung to your seat, desperate for it to stop. It wasn’t until one final forward thrust that the van finally stopped. Leaving you gasping for air again.

 The scene felt oddly familiar to your own car accident years ago. But there’s no flashing lights, and your father wasn’t on his way to help you. The only thing waiting for you was the looming dark forest that swallowed up the lights from the headlights. 

 "Shit," Eddie's voice trembled with fear as he finally released his tight grip from the wheel. "Someone’s gonna see this. Come on, we can't stay here."

 He threw open the door, while you stumbled out. The world spun wildly and it took you a minute to control the overstimulating thoughts and memories flooding your brain to register that Eddie was in front of you now. “I-I can’t..” you whimpered, hands reaching out to him. 

 You closed your eyes, feeling his hands cup around the sides of your face as he waited for you to calm down. It was only a second later that you opened them again to see the look of concern on his face. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, shaking his head. “We still have to go.”

 Reaching down for your hands, he made sure to lace them together before he led the two of you away from the van towards the trees. “Wait, shouldn’t we go back on the road?” you asked, trying to keep up with his pace. The uneven forest floor beneath your feet felt foreign and slippery. Making it hard to try and keep up with your friend who had now moved on to mumbling to himself.

 "Eddie, slow down! I don't know these woods!" you cried out, breath catching in your throat.

 He didn't hear you, or maybe he didn't care. Eddie was on a mission, leading the two of you deeper into the wilderness. "I know a safe place, just keep up!"

 But the dense foliage and the unfamiliar terrain took on your already unsteady balance. You stumbled over a protruding root, hands reaching out to break the fall. The grass was moist beneath your fingers and you took a second to close your eyes to stop the world from spinning again. Eddie continued on without noticing, his footsteps fading in the distance while you struggled to regain footing.

 "Eddie! Wait!" you called out. The only response was the eerie silence of the woods. Taking a few long strides in, you called out for your friend again, hoping your voice was loud enough to break through the trees. 

 “EDDIE!”

 It’s only a matter of seconds before you’re lost, alone, and terrified. Still, you picked yourself up, desperately searching through the thicket for any sign of your friend. The trees loomed like shadows, and panic clung to you like a suffocating shroud. He couldn’t have just left you behind right? But the more you walked, the louder you called out, the more you were hit with the realization.

 You were stranded in a place you didn’t know, alone without your friend, and cold from the night sky. But the worst part of all, was the light echoes of a ticking clock in the distance.

 Exhausted and disoriented, you stumbled into the main street of town as the evening sun began to break through the trees. Your clothes were damp, feet sore from your terrible choice in shoes, and body shivering from the cold night in the woods. 

 It’s not like you had any choice. With the road being too dangerous at that time of night to hitchhike, your only other safe solution was to tough the walk through the woods and hope you’d find the outskirts of town soon enough. 

 You’re embarrassed to say that despite your usual sense of direction, you managed to circle around the woods a few times. Making your arrival into town at a much later time than you’d have preferred. But at least you were back. Better than another night trying to ignore the various noises and whispers the woods had to offer to you.

 It wasn’t like you had any help at all considering that at no point in the night did Eddie try and find you. 

 Still, you pulled through and despite the sleepiness, the hunger, and the aches, you were determined to get yourself home. But that plan seemed to come with a few complications.

 With every store you passed, every street corner, the townspeople of Hawkins seemed to be highly aware of how out of place you looked right now. One glance at the hardware store window and you were shocked to find just how disheveled and weary you looked, confirming your guesses to their curious gazes.

 You had to get home. You needed to get Dustin and figure out what to do about this mess.

 So without wasting time, you made your way towards the bus stop that stopped nearest to your house. But just as you were about to ask around for some possible bus fare, there was a loud honk that caught your attention.

 “Honey!?”

 You turned on your heel, scanning through the small group of passengers to try to find the familiar voice calling out to you. Around the corner of the block stood Steve. Your eyes met and you could see that along with the worrisome look on his face was a bit of shock. Possibly from your appearance. 

 The two of you don’t waste a second to make your way to each other. Steve even went as far to run over to you before he stood before you.

 "What the hell happened to you? Dustin told me he hasn’t seen you since yesterday. Are you okay?" His eyes scanned over your figure, possibly trying to find an injury that matched with your current state of appearance. Without waiting for an answer, he pulled you into his arms, letting his hand cradle the back of your head as he pressed your face into his chest.

 You couldn’t help it as you allowed yourself to hug him back. Seeking comfort in his arms after the night you had. The scent of his cologne and heat from his chest felt amazing against your cold skin and it wasn't until he pulled back that you realized you were shaking from the weather. 

 He quickly shed off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, providing a better warmth over your shivering arms. He was still waiting for you to answer, only raising a brow to you as he cupped the side of your cheek gently. 

 There’s a weak attempt at trying to smile. To let him know that you were okay. But you weren’t. At least mentally you weren’t. Not when you couldn’t stop replaying the events that happened just last night. It only felt even more overwhelming now that you had Steve of all people worried over you again.  “I’m sorry.” you croaked, unable to stop the guilt from coming through. “We got in an accident and then we–I got lost in the woods."

 Steve's eyes widened in disbelief. "Accident? Lost in the woods? What were you doing out there? Are you hurt?" He glanced around, noticing that there were a few people eavesdropping into the conversation. He carefully pulled you away from the bus stop towards the other direction. “Did he do this? Did Eddie do this?”

 "No,” you answered right away, not needing for that vine to tangle up in this mess. “I can't explain everything right now. It's complicated," you replied, voice shaky from exhaustion. "Please..I just need to get home.."

 For a moment he looked even more worried if possible, but instead of pressing on, he merely rubbed his thumb against the apple of your cheek before nodding his head.

 "Alright, Honey.” Steve said more softly now, gesturing towards his car. “Let’s get you home." His concern was genuine, and despite the awkwardness that should be between the two of you, the only thing you could feel from Steve now was comfort.

 And that was all you’d focus on right now.

 It didn’t take long for Steve to get you home. In fact, you’re pretty sure he broke the speed limit a couple of times on the road. Not that you’d press him about it right now. All you wanted was to get inside your house. Where you could hopefully recollect yourself into a person again.

 Despite being in the comforts of being around Steve, you were still finding it hard to come back down from the overwhelming anxiety that still ached inside of you. It was almost like you were stuck on autopilot as you exited the car.

 Steve was quick to return to your side. Gentle like before as he wrapped an arm to lead you towards the front door. A glance up and you can see him sporting his frustrated frown despite the kind voice he used with you.  

 A step to the front door and you could hear the phone ringing inside, blaring loudly into the empty home “My key.” you whispered softly to yourself, trying to check over the pockets of your dirty dress. But all your things were gone. You’re not even sure when or where you’ve managed to lose everything. 

 “It’s okay.” Steve reassured you, carefully letting go to walk over to the potted plants your Aunt had placed this past summer. “The spare’s right here.” 

 You watched quietly as Steve moved over a ceramic frog to reveal the hidden key. It was just a couple of months ago, before the end of Summer, that you had revealed its secret spot to him. Telling him he was more than welcomed to use it any time he needed to.

 He had joked that you might get tired of his surprise visits if he had a way in every time. You happily told him that it’d be impossible, but if he really wanted to surprise you, there was always your bedroom window.

 “Come on,” he said, pulling you out of the memory. “Let’s get you warmed up.” 

 As the two of you entered the home, you glanced around with uncertainty. Unsure of where you should even start on your previous night considering the heavy load it came with. But before either of you could even touch on the subject, the shrill ring of the phone interrupted the silence again.

 Steve held a hand up, quietly offering to take the call as he picked up the phone from the small table.

 He muttered out a half greeting before sighing deeply. “Yeah, she’s here.” he said calmly to the receiver. "Yeah, I found her near Main… No, she's not hurt, I think, just shaken up… I don't know what happened, man. She hasn’t had a second to really explain..”

 You could hear the muffled voice of Dustin on the other end, bombarding Steve with questions you’re sure he doesn't have many answers to. Steve glanced over his shoulder, noting you quietly observing him before he motioned for you to go clean up. “Go ahead, I’ll be here when you get out.” he whispered.

 With that reassurance, you gave him a quick nod, grateful for his patience, and headed towards the bathroom. Once you closed the door and undressed yourself, you finally got the chance to really check over your appearance. The mirror reflected a face unfamiliar to you. One that wasn’t its usual confident self, but of someone who was scared.

 You didn’t like looking at that face. 

 Shielding your gaze away from the mirror, you quickly stepped in started up the shower.

 The hot water felt good as it cascaded over you. Washing away any dirt and grime that clung to your skin from the long night in the woods. That and the loofah you were scrubbing hard against your skin. Every swipe of sudsy soap would reveal a red burning skin that let you know it was fresh and clean.

 “Chrissy! Wake up! CHRISSY!”

 You nearly dropped the bottle of body wash from your hands as your mind flashed over the haunting images from before. The harsh, supernatural force that took Chrissy’s body so effortlessly as she hung in the air like a puppet. The sounds of her bones breaking echoed above the noisy shower. 

 Eddie’s screams came into your mind, almost like speakers pressed against your ears and you dropped everything to cover them up. Muttering for them to just go away. But it won’t stop. Every attempt to focus was met with the flashbacks that persisted. Each replay was more vivid than the last. The flash image of Chrissy's contorted body, the way her eyes sunk into her head, it all made you feel trapped in a nightmare from which there was no escaping. 

 You gotta get out. 

 You have to leave.

 You need to RUN.

 “Honey?”

 The clear sound of Steve’s voice brought everything to halt. Your eyes snapped open to watch as a hand reached past the shower curtain to turn off the water, cutting off the remaining sound in the room. Hesitantly you pulled back the plastic curtain a bit to peek out. 

 Steve was standing there, concern etched on his face again, but this time with his eyes cast down to avoid your naked form while he held up a towel.

 "Are you okay?" he asked softly. There’s a vulnerability in his voice that was unexpected, and you nodded as you reached out for the towel to wrap around yourself. 

 Finally he glanced back at you, giving you a once over as his hand extended out for you while carefully helping you exit the shower. With a small gesture towards the door, he helped usher you over to your bedroom. 

 The amount of patience and kindness that Steve was giving you today had your emotions turning erratic again. The mixture of your previous fear along with the current gratitude and embarrassment that came from having him see you like this.

 Once in the room, he let go of you, almost turning to leave before he sighed and returned back before you. Having had enough of the uneasy silence. 

 "I need to know what’s going on, Trouble. I know you were there in the trailer. What happened?”

 His eyes searched at yours for answers. But you found yourself hesitating, unsure of how to put it into words. Despite Steve being completely aware of things such as the upside down, hell, even your past, this was the one time it felt..unreal.

 "I don’t know if you’ll believe me, Steve. It’s..unlike anything we’ve seen.” you stammered, voice barely above a whisper. His concern deepened, and he urged you to continue with a light nod.

 "Chrissy... she..." You struggled to find the right words, your mind still clouded with only flashes of what you had witnessed. "She was taken by this force, this... I don't even know how to describe it. It just pulled her in the air..it twisted her, Steve. It was so fast..in mere seconds she was gone and crumpled to the ground. I've never been so terrified in my life."

 You didn’t even realize you were crying until Steve had stepped over to wipe at your cheeks. His face was even more grave than before as he looked down at you. He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours, and said, "You’re safe now. You’re not there anymore.”

 “But safe from what, Steve? We don’t even know how or why it happened!” you whispered, feeling your throat choke up as the emotions you had been holding finally poured out. “One minute she’s just there inside with Eddie, and the next I hear screaming and she’s not talking! She was here but gone at the same time.” 

 Steve moved to wrap his arms around you, pulling you back into his chest to stop from shaking. “Did he say anything?..Do you know if he?..”

 “No, Eddie didn’t do this, Steve!” you pulled back from the hug to look up. “He was just as terrified as I was..it wasn’t him. I-I swear!”

 “I believe you, it’s okay.” he said quickly, noticing your sudden panic. But it's too late and you’re feeling the air around you turn thick, unable to get it in your lungs.

 “I can’t breathe, Steve!” You gasped, moving your hands to grip tightly at his arms. His presence alone was keeping you grounded before, but everything seemed to be crashing down at this moment. Your attempts to breathe mixing with crying only made things worse.

 “Breathe with me.” He shushed, pushing his forehead to press against yours. The palms of his warm hands wrapped around your shoulders and he tugged you closer to keep you from getting any colder. 

 But the fear persisted, and your sobs grew louder. It was then that Steve cupped at your face and planted a soft but deep kiss to your lips. Catching you off guard enough that your mind frazzled into focusing only on the touch of his skin to yours before he pulled back.

 "Why did you..." you began to ask, voice trailing off.

 "I just needed to help bring you back down to me," Steve whispered, his eyes searching yours. Almost as if he were afraid he had crossed a line. The two of you silently shared a moment of silence before you gave a quick nod.

 "Right," you managed to say, still grateful despite the unconventional method. 

 Steve remained close to you. "Are you?" he asked calmly.

 “Am I what?”

 “Here with me?”

 When you don’t answer, he sighed softly, enveloping you in his arms. The natural heat of his body called out to you and you reached out to hold onto him desperately. Seeking all the familiar comforts that came with Steve. The scent of his cologne, the warmth of his skin, the cotton of his shirt. It was impossible for you not to inhale all of it.

 He rested his chin against the side of your head, holding you tightly as his arms traced soothing patterns across the bare skin that peeked on the top of the towel. Something inside you is sparked and any sane conscious thought is out the window.

 You don’t want to feel this fear anymore. You just want to feel like yourself again. 

 Even if just for a moment. 

 Pulling away, you reached up, brought his face close and kissed him. 

 It was nothing like the shared kiss you had moments before. It was intense. Needy. All the emotions that the two of you seemed to share as you both clung onto one another. 

 His hands trailed down from your back to rest at your hips. The tip of his fingers dug lightly as he attempted to control whatever urge he had. Your own hands had the same problem as they crawled up to tangle in the ends of his soft hair. Tugging hard enough that caused him to groan against your lips. He broke the kiss apart to pull back. 

 “We’re being stupid right now, aren’t we?” he asked, hot breath fanning over you.

 “Yeah,” you breathed, eyes flicking down to his pink lips. “Incredibly stupid.”

 Reaching down between your bodies, you pulled the towel off from your skin, giving him a full view of yourself.

 He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight, eyes scanning down your body that had you flushed. Nodding his head to himself, he reached and grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you again. 

 Frantically, his own desperation kicked in and he doesn’t even give himself a second to properly shed off his own clothing. Making you have to be the one to pull back and help strip him down. Once he was down to nothing, he resumed pressing his lips against yours. Using one of his hands to cradle the back of your head and the other to press your body against his.

 The contrast of your cold body to his hot one had you both shivering as you stumbled backwards towards the bed. It wasn’t until the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed that he carefully pushed you to lay down. 

 Your back met with the comforter of your bed quickly and you gazed up to watch as Steve slowly came onto the bed, kneeling just before your legs. Though you’re both naked and practically panting with want, there’s a small flicker of concern on his face again.

 “Say it,” he begged, voice slightly cracked from being out of breath and from the hurt that lingered in his tone. “Say that you want this too.”

 “I want this.” you nodded, spreading your legs open for him. His eyes widened at the sight of you. His hand instantly reached out to rub down the expanse of your bare thigh. Your heart began to beat rapidly at the dark desire that flickered in his gaze. “I want you, Steve.”

 He groaned at that, leaning down so that he could lay on top of you. His lips were back onto yours once again, tracing his tongue at your lips until you parted yours and allowed him the chance to swirl it against yours. The sensation had you feeling lightheaded. Your hands wrapped around his shoulders, fingers digging lightly into his bare skin. 

 The light graze of his hardened cock brushing lightly against your inner thigh had you jumping back in surprise. Pulling back from his kiss, you looked down between the two of you, reaching down and taking hold of his member in your hands. 

 “Fuck, honey.” Steve whimpered, “It’s been so long.”

 The tip of his cock was already red, aching to be touched and dripping with excitement. The pad of your thumb swirled over the glaze of precum. You used its slickness to help glide your hand over the base of his member. Jerking it up and down lightly while you watched Steve’s face for his reaction.

 He emitted a sweet moan that had you biting down on your lip to keep from joining him. His hips jerked with every tug you gave and you knew it wouldn’t be long for him to take control again. So you enjoyed your time, leaning down his neck to kiss at his hot skin while you worked him to a full erection. 

 “I’ve missed this.” you muttered softly, kissing up the line of freckles and moles that adorned his neck. 

 “Me too.” he gritted, hands now gripped at your hips to control himself from thrusting into your fingers. “But I’ve missed something else even more.”

 One of his hands pulled away from your side so that he could release himself from your hold and slide down until they reached your aching core. The slick glaze of your arousal spread quickly over his fingers, giving him the chance to swirl around your folds.

 “Steve,” you whimpered, feeling already so sensitive and desperate for release. Any more of the simple touches and you were embarrassed to say you’d come undone easily. “I need you.” 

 “You have me.” he promised, as. he brought the tips of his fingers up to his mouth, sucking any bit of you that was left on them. “All of me.”

 With that he reached between you and easily guided his aching erection to glide against your slick folds. Teasing not only himself but you in the process as he worked you two up. You leaned up on your elbow to pull him down again, pressing your lips together as your hips instinctively thrust upward to him.

 He didn’t break the kiss, but he did stop his hips in time to finally press the tip of his cock at your entrance and slowly thrust in. The walls of your pussy reacted instantly to his member again. Tightening around his long thick size until he was fully sheathed inside of you. 

 Shocked, you gasped and looked up at him, eyes clouded with a familiar desire. It had been quite some time since you’ve felt this full and with every small nudge, Steve managed to bottom his way in. “God, you’re so tight,” he shuddered, bucking his hips for a moment before he wrapped an arm around the side of your waist. “So hot and tight for me.”

 “Steve,” you whimpered, hips rolling on their own accord before you forced your body to relax. “I need, fuck, I need–” you begged, practically desperate for him to make any movement now. 

 “Need what, honey?” he said, moving his hands to place down at your hips, a small thrust to get you moving a little. “Whatever you want, it’s yours.”

 “Move.” you said finally, nails digging into his shoulders now. 

 That was all he needed to hear before he began to move again. He slid out- and back in, with more force this time, causing you to shudder beneath him. The pleasure was strong this time, possibly with how desperate you’ve become since entering the room. You leaned up, clinging around his arms to hold him close. 

 Every part of his warm body felt like a cover from the world. A cover from the dread that wanted to eat at you that only he seemed to be able to pull you out of. It was all you wanted to focus on, all you could focus on. 

 Steve dropped his face into your neck, murmuring something against your skin before he kissed at the flesh gently. “Yours.” he said eventually, another thrust back. He picked his head back up to look down at you. One arm had you pressed close to his body, making you feel every part of him while the other leaned on his elbow to give him a chance to look down at you. “I’m yours.”

 You gazed up into his eyes, one hand letting go of his shoulders to cup at his cheek. “Mine.” you agreed, pressing your lips to his. 

 His pace quickened up at that, goading him into another set of emotions. 

 You wrapped legs around his waist. Keeping yourself from moving away from him as his quick thrusts that pushed you higher up in the bed. His name fell past your lips in a long moan, unable to think of any other words. It was like all you could do was think and speak his name. 

 Whether it be from your shifting feelings, or the fact that Steve was going at such a fast pace, the two of you seemed to be closer to your release than expected. He dropped his head down, pressing a few loving kisses to the apex of your breasts. He groaned your name against the pebble of your breast, nipping at the sensitive bud before he returned back to your face. Kissing your lips and cheeks over and over until he had to pull back to breathe again.

 “I can’t hold on much longer, baby.” you warned, leaning up to press a kiss to his shoulder.

 “Me either.” he nodded, taking a quick pause to look down at you. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but settled with dropping down to meld your lips once again. One of his hands let go of your waist to slip between the two of you, and you soon felt the familiar pad of Steve’s thumb press against your clit. 

 Without a wasted second, he began to roll the sensitive bud in a circular motion while thrusting into you at a more brutal pace. 

 The whole world is gone and all you could feel now was the intense orgasm as it washed over your body. Back arching up to him as you cried out in ecstasy against his lips. Your palms clasped his back, pressing yourself even more if possible to meet up with his final thrusts.

 He whimpered into your lips, pulling back to allow his face to fall against your neck and catch his breath while he shot his cum into your core. The thrusts slowed down and soon enough you only rolled your hips lightly against him to ride out the rest of the euphoria with him. 

 It was only a second that the two of you said nothing. Both of you seemingly unsure how to process the intensity that the sex brought. 

 His head lifted back up, looking down at you intently before gently pulling himself out of you. The sudden pressure change had you let out a small whimper and Steve returned to leaning back on his knees. His gaze was locked over your figure and you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed to look so wrecked. 

 But Steve doesn’t seem to think the same thing as he gently reached down, caressing the skin of your thighs. “You’re beautiful.” he said aloud, “So damn beautiful.” 

 Something sparked inside of you. Maybe the sincerity of his words, or the selfish need to be taken out of that deep sinking feeling that had its grip on you lately. Or maybe it was just because you wanted Steve and to ignore the reality that was outside the doors. 

 “Steve?” you asked softly, leaning up on your elbows.

 “Yeah?” he whispered back, looking at you with a small bit of concern again.

 “I’m still not here..”

 A small smile tugged at his lips before he nodded his head at you, crawling back up to climb over your body again. One of his hands crawled up this time to cup around your breast, kneading the muscle gently. 

 “Okay, honey. Let me try again.”

 It’s embarrassing to say you two go for it another two times before you’re both satisfied. The sun was set even more into the evening and you glanced at the clock in time to see you’ve been here for over an hour.

 You collapsed forward, sagging into his arms. Your chest nearly heaving as you struggled to catch your breath after all the vigorous movements you two just did. He pressed his lips to your cheek, and it burned. Like a reminder of his presence there being nothing but a burning comfort to you. 

 Holding your heavy breath, you stopped moving around. Allowing his arms to wrap around your body and give you the chance to savor the moment for your memory. To use it when you needed a reminder of a time you felt this content. 

 Eventually he helped lift your tired body up enough that he was able to pull himself out of you, hissing a bit at the cold air before he laid you to return to resting on top of him. Grabbing your bare leg, he draped over his hips and kept you close to his side so that he could use your warm skin as a cover. You gently placed your head against his chest, hand up so that you could gently run your fingers through the curls that covered his pecs. The sound of his heart beat, your favorite sound, thumped lightly in your ears.

 “Talk to me.” he said before he kissed the smooth skin between your brows. 

 You lifted your head up to watch him. Not answering right away to gauge his reaction. He’s pretty calm considering what you two were just finished doing. Not hurt like you almost expected for him to be after having just used him. In fact, he was just looking down at you patiently, bringing a hand up to caress the side of your face while he waited. 

  Resting your chin on his chest, you sighed softly, not sure what to say next. 

 “I’m sorry.” you said hesitantly. “I know you were trying to calm me down. But I didn’t mean to just use you to make myself feel better. It was shitty of–”

 “I wanted it.” he interrupted you, a firmness in his voice. You glanced back to his gaze, noting the calm was replaced with a serious look. As if he were about to lose it if you went further on with your sentence.  “I needed it, actually.”

 This was all so overwhelming.

 The very idea that after pushing Steve away, practically forcing him and yourself to move on with others, the two of you still relied on each other to feel good in the end. You’ve never had this feeling with anyone before. It was scary. It was too real. 

 You opened your mouth, ready to set him up with another disappointing apology when he sprung forward to kiss you. Ceasing any words from making it past your lips as he captured the moment. Again you don’t fight against it. At this point you don’t think you can.

 Down the hall, the phone sprung to life again, pulling you both back to reality. The kiss had you breathless, staring up at Steve with wide eyes because he was doing it again. He was making you question every choice you’ve ever made.

 “It doesn’t have to mean anything. This whole thing could be nothing..” he said, looking at you with such fondness. “It’s just us helping each other. That’s it.”

 “But it isn’t nothing.” you whispered back, unable to hide the truth. “It never is with us.”

 He doesn’t say anything. Only taking a glance down the hall at the phone that’s still ringing. Reaching up, you cupped at the side of his face and made him look back at you, but all that does is create a pained look on his face. Like he was torn about something.

 “It’s probably Dustin.” he said eventually, reaching up to pull your hand away. “We’ve been here longer than expected. They’re probably waiting for us.”

 “They?” you asked, releasing him fully from his hold so that he could climb out of the bed to gather up his scattered clothes from the floor.

 “Robin, Max, and Dustin were trying to figure out where Eddie could be hiding before I left.” he said, watching you while he dressed himself. “Max saw Eddie running to his van last night in a panic. We’re gonna try and figure this out. Get his side of the story.”

 The mention of Eddie brought a sad dip to your stomach. It’s been hours since the two of you had lost each other and you weren’t sure if he was okay or not. Not to mention it had been hours and he didn’t exactly seek out to find you either..

 A glance up and you watched as Steve quickly fixed himself enough to look presentable. This time the guilt rolled in when you thought of the idea of Steve wasting precious time he could have been using to help with Eddie just to go out and try and find you. 

 “Right,” you nodded, climbing out of the bed. “We should probably go.”

 He didn’t say anything at first as you began to dress yourself, pulling on underwear and a bra. But it isn’t until you’re about to reach for a shirt that he stepped over and reached out to gently grab your hand. 

 “No one would be upset if you wanted to sit this one out, Trouble.” he said softly, turning you to face him again. “After everything you saw and been through..we can figure something out by ourselves”

 “Are you trying to say you don’t want my help?” you ask a little guarded. In all this time you two had been dealing with the kids and the upside down, Steve has never once been the one to push you out of things. Even last summer with the Russian’s invasion, he was insisting on you joining. What was different now?

 “I always want you and your help.” he said as matter of fact. “But I’m not gonna be selfish and force you to come out and join us when I know there’s something going on with you.”

 Just like the night before, Steve’s intuitive mind was working double time on you. But there isn’t much time left in the day to dive into that discussion and you’re worried about wasting more time by having Steve stand around and be concerned about you.

 “I wanna come.” you explained calmly, trying to sound more confident than you felt. “I need to help figure this out too.”

 Steve’s eyes watched you carefully, almost like he was waiting for you to crack. But when you continued to hold your gaze, he must have sensed you wouldn’t be cracking down any time. “I’ll wait in the car.” he said eventually, leaning forward to press a kiss to your cheek.

 After that, he left you to finish getting dressed and also give you a moment to collect yourself in preparation for facing the others. 

 If Steve was worried enough to venture out for you, and Dustin enough to be calling the house this much, then surely the others would be just the same. And while a part of you wanted to allow them in, even just a little, there were other important things now. 

 Like finding where Eddie was, and figuring out just what killed Chrissy.

 So with that determination, you quickly finished dressing and locked up the house on your way out. The air was chilly again and you shivered a bit as you made your way over to Steve’s car. He was adjusting the radio when you entered inside. Fiddling out with the knobs for a station that he liked.

 Thankfully the heater was already on. Helping thaw out your cold bones as you buckled in. Right away your eyes caught sight of something you didn’t seem to notice before in your dazed out mind. 

 Wrapped around the left side of the driver’s visor, was the gold necklace. The ‘S’ dangled just enough to shine in the bit of light that was left outside. You couldn’t help but watch it quietly, not sure what to think about him still having it. Steve didn’t seem to notice where your attention was as he turned to face you.

 “Ready to go?” he asked, settling on a soft rock station. You nodded your head slowly, forcing your eyes to look out towards the window.

 “As I’ll ever be.”

 There is no real reunion when you finally get to picking up the others. Mostly, it was Robin taking control of the line of questioning. Which you were a little bit troubled with answering right away. Mostly because you needed to hear Eddie’s half to put all the pieces together.

 The rest of the car ride was spent being spooked by the empty lot that led over to Rick Lipton’s house. You recognized some of the area from the road. Recalling coming to part of town the past summer with Steve so he could show you lover’s lake.

 It was bizarre to think you were supposedly near this house just last night and wound up walking all the way back into town. It added to the bitter feeling inside of you when you remembered the events again. 

 But there were questions that needed answers and pouting about being left behind would have to be done later. 

 The car was parked in the dark driveway of the Lipton house and flashlights were slowly passed around before you all made an exit of the car. Steve was quick to make his way to your door, opening it up for you and extending a hand out to help pull you out.

 The moment is sweet and you squeeze his hand lightly in a silent thank you. Over his shoulder, you spot a gawking Robin who didn’t even bother to conceal the small shock on her face.

 Nodding for Steve to go ahead, you hang back a moment to let Robin make her way over to you.

 “So,” she chirped, “that was a pretty nice moment I saw there.”

 “Yes,” you agreed, looking at her from the side of your eyes. “Steve’s been really nice to me since he found me.”

 She hummed playfully, giving you a small wink. “I see. And I’m guessing he was really nice to you when you guys were at your house for over an hour.”

 You hoped that your poker face didn’t crack over Robin’s comment. On top of everything going on, you didn’t need to have her teasing either one of you for what may have happened in your house. Even if she was on the right track.

 “I think it was mostly me needing a minute to process everything.” you said slowly, thankful that you were able to be truthful. “Steve’s just kind enough not to rush.”

 Her eyes glanced over the guy, watching as he held the flash light over towards the side of the house, inspecting the area before he sensed the pair of eyes watching his back. Turning, he glanced between the two of you. Eyes shifting worriedly before he settled with putting an awkwardly forced smile on his face.

 “Dingus is something else, that’s for sure.” Robin muttered with a head shake. “Sorry if I’m pushy. Just looked like something might be sparking between you guys again.”

 Guilt spread over yourself at the idea of giving another person in your life false hope over something you weren’t sure of yet. Especially Robin, who most likely just wanted her close friends to get back together again. 

 “We’re always gonna be close.” you tried, hoping not to sound like your feelings were swinging in any kind of way. “I’m thankful that he’s always willing to help me, even when I don’t think he should.”

 “He cares about you.” She said calmly, like a reminder. 

 Your lips pursed and you dropped your gaze to the flashlight in your hands. “He cares about all of us, Robs.”

 “Yeah, but we know it’s different with you.” she shrugged, “Enough so that he’s willing to just drop everything he's doing to leave work and find you.”

 Dustin called out to the two of you to hurry up, leaving you without a chance to give out a proper response. Quickly, you both followed up behind the others to the door. All holding up a flashlight to brighten up the area.

 The first ring of the doorbell was met with an awkward silence. Then the second, then the third, then fourth, and finally fifth.

 You couldn't help but think that neither Rick nor Eddie would be the type of person who would happily open the door that was being rung this late at night. But, you figured vocalizing that might not help with Dustin’s current frustrations. Steve on the other hand..

 “Okay. Well, that’s settled. I guess he’s not here.”

 Like you expected, Steve’s skepticism only frustrated your cousin further. Causing him to change the ringing into banging. Yelling out for Eddie in hopes that his friend would come out to a friendlier voice.  

 “Look, we just wanna talk, okay? No cops, I swear! We just wanna help!”

 To your left, you watched as Max and Robin began to scale the side of the house. Trying their best to peer into the windows of the closed off home. 

 “EDDIE!” Dustin continued to yell, mixing his knocking with ringing again. “RICK!...REEFER RICK!”

 “Don’t scream that!” Steve chided, making you slightly amused before you moved closer to try and look through the window. The house from what you could see looked completely abandoned. Eddie considered this place to be a shelter from all the mess that had happened. So why did it seem like the place had been abandoned for a while now? 

 “Hey guys?” Max called out, bringing the group to leave the house and follow to where she stood. 

 Down her line of vision was a boat house. Eerily the only thing in the area other than the street lights to have a light on. Something in the back of your mind warned you about its creepy appearance, but considering that everything lately was getting to you, it’d be something you’d have to ignore.

 So down the hill the rest of you went. Lights flashing at the dingy building as you all approached its doors slowly. 

 Robin took the lead this time, pushing at the door slowly as she peeked her head in. “Hello?” she called out, not fully yet stepping in. “Is anyone home?”

 One by one the rest of you filed in after her. Lights aiming in different directions to showcase the inside of the place. It smelled like rusted metal, wet wood, and something else you couldn’t decipher. Forcing you to tuck your nose into the collar of your jacket to breathe in your perfume.

 “What a dump.” Steve called out, a light disdain in his tone. 

 “Did you really expect pristine conditions from a guy called Reefer Rick?” you asked, giving him a small look. He huffed amusedly before turning around to reach over for an ore on the wall. You’re about to ask what he was planning on doing with that when he suddenly began to stab the ore into the tarp covered boat. Making you and Dustin jump a bit from the rapid movement. 

 “What are you doing?” Dustin gaped.

 “He might be in here.” Steve answered simply, continuing with his jabbing.

 “And you plan on turning him into a skewer?” you frowned, taking a step back to observe from a safe distance. 

 Dustin shook his head, pointing over to the boat with his hand. “Take the tarp off!”

 “If you’re so brave, you take the tarp off.” Steve countered, still poking around the edges. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at their cowardice. 

 “Don’t you think he’d have popped out by now if he was hiding in there? You’ve practically poked a hole in the tarp.” you said, crossing your arms. 

 “Hey, look over here.” you heard Max call out. From the other side you watched Robin and her approach a table. Fiddling with some that had been thrown on top. “Someone was here.” she continued. 

 “Maybe he heard us. Got spooked and ran.” Robin suggested.

 “Don’t worry,” Dustin cut in. “Steve will get him with his oar.” 

 You chuckled at that, finding the whole thing ridiculous while Steve went on with his work. 

 “I know you think you’re being funny, Henderson, but considering the fact that everyone in this room has nearly died about a hundred times, personally, I don’t find it funny in the slight–”

 As if he were waiting for the right moment, Eddie suddenly popped out from beneath the tarp, causing everyone in the group to jump back in fear. He shot himself forward and grabbed onto a shocked Steve and pushed them backwards until the two of them were pressed against the wall. 

 All of you are too shocked to react right away. It wasn’t until Dustin was pleading out to Eddie to stop that you noticed he was holding up a broken glass bottle to Steve’s neck. A flashback of Steve’s bloodied face after dealing with the Russian’s came into your mind and you found yourself panicking over his safety. 

 Without even a second thought you picked up one of the other oars and gripped on it tightly, sizing up behind an unknowing Eddie. Dustin called out to you next, holding a hand up as he tried to take control of the situation.

 “Eddie! Eddie! It’s me! It’s Dustin!” he called out, gaining the attention of the boy. “This is Steve. He’s not gonna hurt you, right, Steve?”

 You glanced over Eddie’s shoulder to watch as Steve nervously tried to respond. “Right, yeah.” he whispered, almost afraid to speak up. 

 “Steve, why don't you drop the oar?”

 Right away he let go of the wooden piece, causing a small clanging noise to fill up the tense room. Eddie is slightly triggered by that, pinching the glass a little more against Steve’s neck and causing him to groan out. You glared at the back of Eddie’s head, ready to swing against your own friend when Dustin held a hand out to you again.

 “He’s cool! He’s cool!”

 “I’m cool, man. I’m cool.” he agreed in a whisper to Eddie. His eyes flickered behind the guy towards you, widening as he barely realized your attacking stance.

 “What are you doing here?” Eddie grunted, never looking away from Steve.

 “We’re looking for you.” Dustin answered, trying again to gain his friend’s attention. 

 “We’re here to help.” Robin joined in, trying to calm the tension that had risen. Eddie glanced back, probably just realizing the two girls behind Dustin now. 

 “Eddie, these are my friends.” he pleaded, “You know Robin, from band.” he said, gesturing to the girl behind him. Robin, while awkward, imitated the sound of her trumpet playfully. He turned to his other side and pointed over to Max. “This is my friend Max. The one who never wants to play D&D.” Max offered up her best wave, despite the nervousness that appeared on her face. 

 Dustin nodded over towards your direction, gulping a bit when he noticed you still were ready for the attack. “And you already know my lovely cousin,” he said, clearing his throat. 

 Eddie barely now registered your presence, glancing over his shoulder finally to meet your eyes. He’s shocked at your position, but still unwilling to let go of Steve right away. You made it a point to take a step closer, glaring at him as you finally spoke up. “Hiya, Ed. Remember me?”

 “Eddie,” Dustin cut in, trying to bring the calmness back. “We’re on your side.” There was a flicker of hesitation on his face, making you and Dustin turn slightly more desperate the longer he held onto Steve. 

 “I swear on my Mother! Right guys?”

 The other three shootout similar answers while you remained silent. Ready for anything.

 A long heartbeat passed before he pushed away from Steve, letting him fall back against the wall with a small grunt. You tossed aside the oar and made your way to check on him when Eddie gripped at your hand.

 The two of you hold eye contact and you’re unsure how to react to him calmly.

 His eyes alone showed there was a lingering fear. Hell, you just saw the same eyes in your own mirror hours ago. But the mixed emotions that were going through when it came to Eddie, made it a little hard to figure out how you wanted to react.

 “You’re.. okay.” he whispered, almost like he was afraid to speak aloud. 

 “Yeah, I’m okay.” you nodded, a frown still hard on your face. “No thanks to you.” 

 Tugging your hand out from his grip, you finally stepped away, ignoring the hurt look on his face as you joined Steve at his side. He was hunched over, hand rubbing lightly at his neck. You leaned down, getting close enough to inspect his neck yourself. The skin was red with a slight little nip against the spot under his jawline.

 Steve smiled slightly, reaching out to place his hand on top of yours. “I’m okay.” he reassured. 

 “Eddie..” you heard Dustin behind you. “We just want to talk.” The two of you turned your heads to watch as Dustin lowered down to squat before Eddie. He was closing himself off to the rest of you, hand still clutching onto the bottle as he kept his gaze away. 

 You couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing that Eddie was probably beyond freaked out about all this. There was still such anger and hurt flowing through you. But deep down you knew you felt for Eddie too. He was still the guy who had been your friend this whole time. 

 Dustin tried to reach out for Eddie’s hand to take the bottle, causing him to flinch and grip onto it tighter. Robin slowly approached next, trying Dustin’s docile method as she lowered down to his eye level.

 “We want to know what happened.” she said calmly. “To the both of you.”

 Max glanced over at you, worry still flickered over her pale face before she glanced back to Eddie with the same expression. Steve reached out to place a hand on your back, soothingly as he nodded at you to go forward. “Tell ‘em.” he said softly to you. 

 Eddie sniffled a bit. “You won’t believe me.” he said, voice cracking a bit. His gaze turned to look up now and you let out a shudder at the sight of his teary eyes. 

 Max stood closer, giving him a light shrug as she calmly said a simple “Try us.”

  Eddie was the first one to go up and recall the events of the night before. The pain, evident in his voice as he tried to describe everything in detail. Immediately your mind is plagued with the images you had seen with your own eyes. Following each part of the story that Eddie cleared out. 

 “..Things only got worse when I looked over to see Henderson passed out on the ground.” he said, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I..I didn’t know what to do, so I grabbed her and just..ran. I ran away. We left her– I left her there.”

 Your face contorted at the painful reminder. The memory of leaving her behind still brought a heavy guilt on you that ached in your chest. Tears pinched in your eyes and you turned away from everyone to control yourself.

 “But what happened to you?” Max asked when she noticed your sudden change. “How did you get separated? Steve said he found you in town by yourself.”

 “I was lost all night.” you clarified, wiping the tears out from your eyes to face them. “I came to in the van when we were nearly out of town.”  Eddie looked down in his hands ashamed, not meeting your gaze. “I had begged Eddie to turn back. To go someplace where we could call for help. I tried to remind him how things would be worse if he made a break for out of the state.. But that’s when we crashed.”

 “Crashed?” Dustin interjected, his eyes were wide as he looked over your appearance for any scars he must have missed out on before. Steve shifted slightly beside you, eyes turning dark as he took in the new information.

 “We made a break for the clearing,” you went on, anger still focused on Eddie. “I could barely grasp what had just happened, let alone follow Eddie, so it didn’t take long for me to lose him in the trees.”

 “I’m sorry,” he started, hands clasped together as he shook his head. “I thought you were behind me the whole time–”

 “You weren’t thinking about anything but getting yourself to safety.” you accused him, pointing a finger in his direction as you stepped forward. “I told you I didn’t know those woods at all and you just kept going!”

 Eddie lifted his head up to meet your fiery gaze. “I-I didn’t mean to..I was just–”

 “You were afraid?” you asked curtly, “Well so was I! I don’t have any idea what the hell killed Chrissy and the next thing I know is my friend just ditched me without even looking back!” You shook your head, feeling tears gradually make their return. “Did you even look for me?”

 The room was filled with a painful silence and you had to turn your face away from Eddie before you took out more anger on him. You nearly left the room entirely, needing to get some fresh air, when you felt a hand slip into yours, stopping yourself from leaving. 

 “Don’t go.” Steve said gently to you. “Just take a breath.”

 It felt easier said than done. But all Steve did was give you a knowing look and you settled with leaning against his side. Eyes cast down to the ground while you sucked in a sharp breath. His presence was a little calming, but you were still struggling internally. 

 During that bit, you could hear Eddie scoff in frustration. “Look, I can’t explain everything that I did, okay? All I can say is what I saw..it was something freaky, man.” There’s a beat of silence that had Eddie recoiling away from the group again. “You all think I’m crazy, right?”

 “No. We don’t think you’re crazy at all.” Dustin reassured gently. 

 “Don’t bullshit me, man! I know how this sounds.” Eddie cried out, voice cracking in frustration.

 Max leaned forward, keeping her voice calm and steady. “We’re not bullshitting you.”

 “We believe you just like how we believe her.” Robin added, pointing a finger over at you. But it does little to relieve Eddie’s shaken state. Finally, Dustin took the lead on explaining everything.

 “Look, what I’m about to tell you might be a little..difficult to take.” he started. 

 “..okay.” 

 “You know how people say Hawkins is..cursed? They’re not way off. There’s another world. A world hidden beneath Hawkins. Sometimes it bleeds into ours.” 

 “Like ghosts and shit?” Eddie asked.

 “There are some things worse than ghosts.” Max followed, trying to help pin it together for him.

 “These monsters from his other world, we thought they were gone. But they’ve come back before and that’s why we needed to find you.”

 Max nodded her head, glancing back at you briefly before she looked back at Eddie. “If they’re back again, we need to know.” 

 Dustin’s words brought a painful reminder of all the times the group has faced different monsters these past few years. From the Byers’ demogorgon, Dart and his pack of demodogs, and recently the Mind Flayer. All things that came when all of you were finally trying to get life back to normal. It wasn’t fair. 

 “That night, did you guys see anything?” Robin asked.

 “Dark particles, maybe?” 

 You tried to think back, recalling the only odd rememberable thing to be the flickering lights. But just like that night, you never saw the familiar monster that broke through walls, or the growling noise of the creatures that surrounded the house, or even the thuds of a monster in the distance. It was like nothing was there and yet it killed Chrissy. 

 “It would almost look like dust, swirling dust.” said Dustin to Eddie, hopeful for his memory to be better than yours. But all his friend did was shake his head. 

 “No, man, there was nothing you could see or, uh, or touch.” he explained, looking up at you. “It was just us in there.”

 You sighed frustratedly, finally giving Eddie a sparing glance. “He’s right..aside from the lights flickering it was like..she was pulled up in the air like a puppet. As if by magic.”

 “We tried to wake her, man. She couldn’t move.” he added after you. “It was like she..she was in a trance or something.”

 “Or under a spell.” Dustin countered. 

 Some sort of realization flickered over Eddie’s face. “A curse.” he said next.

 “Vecna’s curse.”

 Beside you, you could see Steve’s head tilted at the name. “Who’s Vecna?” he asked Dustin. Your cousin doesn’t look back to you guys, but from your spot you could see the sudden shift in his demeanor. 

 “An undead creature of great power.”

 “A spell caster.” Eddie added, voice soft in disbelief.

 “..a dark wizard.” Dustin finished off. 

 Suddenly, the room began to feel smaller, and the weight of this new threat pressed down on everyone. You couldn't shake the feeling that this time, it was different – that Hawkins was about to face a threat unlike anything you’ve encountered before.

  The mood between everyone didn’t get much better after you and Eddie finished retelling everything. 

 The others took their turn in recapping all the news coverage they had been hearing throughout the day. While it was safe to say you were clear as a suspect, it didn’t mean you were out of the woods just yet. Most likely, those closest to Eddie would be next on the public’s radar. Which seemed like the easier thing to worry about considering there was this ominous Vecna to focus on.

 But since things were clear for now, the rest of the group urged Eddie to continue hiding in the boat house. Promising to return the following day. It wouldn’t be safe to move him around just yet. An unfortunate circumstance that he’d have to understand for now. The only time you saw him look a little more comfortable with the idea was when Dustin promised to provide him with food the following day. 

 Soon after you were all back in the comforts of Steve’s car.

 The two of you back in the front seat while the three in the back talked about what could be going on and where they can start tomorrow. You’d answer one of their questions now and then, but weren’t able to fully bring yourself in just yet. Considering no one wanted to be in your line of anger like in the boat house, they were very minimal in what questions they’d call out to you.

 Steve, on the other hand, was silent. Still visibly stressed from the boathouse conversations. In fact, you were pretty sure he was upset with the way his jaw would clench now and then. Ever since the mini spat with Eddie, plus the reveal of what happened, he hasn’t been the same. But even then, he set aside his emotions to still offer up a ride to the others. Making sure everyone got home safely.

 You watched him carefully, wondering what was going through his mind. 

 Today was..definitely not what he probably had planned. Especially after everything that was said the night before, then in your bedroom, and then the boat house. It wouldn’t be surprising if he didn’t crack under the pressure he seemed to be under. You wished you could help alleviate this new worry, but all you’ve done lately is add to it. 

 The only solid concentration he seemed to have at the moment though was driving and keeping hold of your hand.

 “Okay, Steve. We’ll meet up early tomorrow. I think Eddie’s gonna need a lot of food if he’s gonna hide this out. We’ll have to go to the market before we pick up everyone.” Dustin said from the back with a yawn. 

 The others were already dropped off. Mumbling out tired goodnights before Steve had finally made the return back to your driveway. The engine was off and the three of you had been quiet until Dustin broke the silence.

 “Sounds good, man.” he confirmed, speaking up for the first time in an hour. 

 With a clap to Steve’s shoulder, Dustin quickly made his leave for the car. Calling out for you to hurry up before he used his key to enter the house. Neither of you made any motion to follow through on Dustin’s warning. Only watching in silence as he entered the home. 

 It wasn’t until he saw the switch of the living room light on that Steve finally turned to look at you. His eyes scanned over the features of your face before he leaned in to push a hair away from your face. “You doing okay?” he asked softly.

 You’re almost taken back by his quick concern. How despite all that’s happened and been said, his first question is to ask about your well being. 

 “I’m here.” Was the best answer you could think of at the moment. You were still pretty upset about earlier. Especially the fact that you allowed yourself to get so angry at Eddie who was clearly unfamiliar with this type of horror. But it was hard to control anything going on with you right now. A glance down and you noted how he hasn’t dropped your hand yet. “Are you? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you be so..quiet before. Feels weird.”

 He huffed amusedly through his nose before he shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve had a lot on my mind today. And honestly..I’m tired.”

 You use your free hand to reach over and cup the side of his face. Unable to contain yourself from helping provide Steve the comfort you know he needs. 

 His eyes slipped close and he leaned forward enough to rest against the palm of your hand while you gently caressed. He looked as tired as he sounded, and you wanted to help provide him with the ease of a good night’s sleep.

 “I never thanked you.” you murmured, watching as he peeked his eyes open to look at you. “Today you..you helped me in more ways than one.”

 “I think you sort of showed me thanks already.” he countered, a little bit teasing in his tone.

 “Us having sex was not my way of showing thanks.” you scoffed, only slightly amused by his words. “I mostly meant you bringing me home..and then back in the boat house. You helped calm me down.”

 He reached up for your hand to bring them together before him, squeezing them lightly until he pulled them up to press a kiss to the front of your finger tips. Keeping his gaze at you until he settled them back into his lap. 

 “I’m always gonna be here for you, you know that right?”

 The never failing sincerity of his words had you shyly averting your gaze away from his. Unsure how to deal with your own emotions as well as the ones that Steve kept bringing back. But he didn’t seem to want to wait for you to come up with an answer as he used the grip on your hands to pull you in and meet you in the middle of the console. There’s only a small space for you to decide to pull back but you ignored that thought as you pressed your lips against his. 

 The kiss, while breathtaking, was a lot sweeter than the ones you guys had shared today. Almost like a reassuring gesture to help ease you into ending the conversation. 

 “You need to get some sleep.” he urged when he pulled back for air. His plump lips were ghosting over yours now, enticing you back in despite his words saying otherwise. “After everything we need you back in shape tomorrow.” 

 “Okay,” you agreed, not quite moving just yet. “Promise you’ll get some rest too?”

 He nodded his head, pulling himself further back so he could meet your eyes. “I’ll be here as early as I can.” Sighing heavily, you take your hands out of Steve’s grip and reach for the door handle, sparing him one last look before you exited the car. 

 The sound of his engine starting up cut through the silence as you made your way towards the front door of the house. You got the chance to watch as he pulled out of the driveway, waving to you before he fully pulled away and made his turn down the street. 

 Exhaustion covered your whole body as you turned to enter the house. You were more than ready to pass out on your bed for a couple of hours. However, there was one more person waiting to talk. 

 Sat down on the chair beside the couch, was a nervous Dustin. Looking over at you expectantly as he waited for you to finally make your way towards him. He’s barely talked to you today and while you’re sure he was still annoyed with the previous fight you guys had, you could easily tell something else, something deeper was on his mind.

 “Dustin?” you called out slowly. “Are you–”

 “A lot happened yesterday.” he blurted out. Though his words were clipped, there was the familiar hint of Dustin’s sincerity that lingered through. “We could have talked things out but..I just got annoyed and pushed you away.”

 You blinked at that, trying not to think of the day again. “It’s fine, Dustin.”

 “It’s not..I didn't know where you were all day. A girl is dead.” he stood up, moving before you. “You were with Eddie when it happened..it could’ve been..”

 The words died off from his mouth but you feel you already know what he wanted to say. Taking a step forward, you reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. Trying not to downplay his worry while also attempting to reassure him. “It could’ve been me, but it wasn’t. Okay?”

 “I just can’t shake the feeling that all of this isn’t gonna stop with just Chrissy.” he whispered, almost afraid to speak the words out loud. “It’s never just one attack for us. Vecna..he’s powerful. I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s you or anyone else.”

 “It’s not gonna be any of us.” you reassured him. 

 “How can you be so sure?”

 “Because, we have people like you on our side.” He tried to appear confident at that, but the lingering worry still lingered on his face. He was on the verge of freaking out. “We’re gonna figure this out, okay?”

 “..I hope you’re right.” he mumbled, pulling out of your grip with a sigh. “Let’s get to bed, we have a lot of work tomorrow.”

 With that, he quickly turned to walk away. Leaving you alone in the dimly lit living room with his words echoed in your mind. The worry about this ‘evil wizard’ hung in the air, and the unsettling reality that someone you cared about could be the next target scared you down to your core. 

 Things were different this time and most of the party has been split off. All you could hope for was to hold back the fear that wanted to consume you whole. 

A/N: Sorry it’s taken so long for another update! I was so busy and sick over these past few weeks. I really hope you guys enjoyed this update. I’m hoping to get this next chapter out sooner. Let me know what you guys think! xoxo

TAGGING LIST:

@cluz1babe , @starofavolonea , @darlingimafangirl (won’t let me tag), & @primroseluna​

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x henderson reader #steve harrington x you #Steve Harrington x female reader #steve harrington x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson x henderson reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #cac #angst #smut #steve harrington smut

[billlydear]

Imagine the reader taking care of Billy when he's drunk at a party!! She gets to drive his car!! Take him back to her place!! Listen to his drunk ramblings !!

DISTRACTED DRIVING - BILLY HARGROVE X READER

W.C 690- INBOX (please request !) - GIF CREDIT TO OWNER

"Stop touching. Don't- Billy... stop touching!"

"I'm not- touching!" Billy huffs, seatbelt discarded so that the strap only lies around his waist, not over his chest. He's leaning into your seat, fingers poking and prodding at the earring you're wearing, face an inch away.

"You are touching," You grumble, stopping easy at a red light and pushing him back into his seat, "You're gonna make me crash your car, Billy."

"Don't," He warns, eyes wide with drunken terror, "Cause I paid a lot for this thing." He whacks the dashboard hard enough that he'll regret it come morning, "It's my baby."

"I'm well aware," You snort, foot heavy on the pedal as you turn onto country road. There's nothing for miles, only solitary offramps that you won't be needing for a while.

"Oh," Billy's been staring at the side of your face for a moment, and finally comes to some realization in his head. He sighs, a ditzy puff of air from his chest, "But you- you're my baby, too, baby."

It's a nice sentiment, but he pairs it with more flagrant disregard to his seatbelt, hoisting himself up onto his side. From there he leans in, lips puckered and glistening with spit that you can't afford all over your cheek right now.

"Billy, don't you dare," You warn, keeping one hand steady on the wheel while the other shoves at his chest, "I need to pay attention!"

"Pay attention," He tries to speak through puckered lips, failing miserably so that his words sound like they're coming through a pipe, "I'm not gonna- oop!" He slips on the center console, nearly face-planting. He rights himself, "Distract you."

"You are distracting me," You don't know how you manage to turn off of the road at the right offramp, but your house comes into view along the dusty dirt road, "Billy, I just need to park, can you please-?"

"Gimme a smooch," He grumbles, hands now braced on your thigh as you give up, veering to a stop twenty feet away from your driveway.

The momentum of the car jerking into a sharp turn makes Billy lose his balance, and he slips with a disgruntled squawk, landing face-down in your lap.

Once he's there, he doesn't want to leave, body slumping to lay flat across his seats. You sigh deeply, and more fondness seeps into the sound than there's supposed to be. You can't stay mad at him, not when his messy curls are calling you.

"Are we sleeping in here?" You inquire, twisting a curl of his around your pointer finger.

"Mhm," Billy hums into your thighs, his breath hot against your skin, "I'm comfy."

"I'm sure," You laugh, eyeing the various clutter he's smashed with his torso, a half-empty box of smokes as well as the mechanisms to raise and lower the windows.

You're surprised his belly isn't moving the switches as he breathes, and you giggle at the thought.

"Don't laugh at me," He pleads, pitiful voice muffled by your thighs.

"I'm not," You promise, scraping your nails down his neck and stifling a laugh when he shivers, just to be courteous, "I promise, Billy."

"I can feel it," He gripes, pinching at your stomach that's trembling from withheld laughter. You shriek, and he opens his jaw to bite your thigh. It's not a nip, he's got his teeth around a good chunk of fat against your inner thigh, but he backs down and kisses it instead of shaking you back and forth like a dog with a stuffed toy.

"You're an animal," You muse, stroking softly through his hair.

"I'm drunk," He helpfully supplies, and it pulls more laughter out of your belly.

"You are. So go to sleep, Billy."

"You too," He reaches up to pat your face, and without being able to see, he's lucky to sloppily make his mark, hand running into your jaw, "Stay with me, baby, sleep w'me."

Not while you're drunk! You think, but joking will only get him riled up again, and he needs to rest. So instead you kiss the palm of his hand, nodding, "I will, Billy. I promise."

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove oneshot #billy hargrove blurb #billy hargrove drabble #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x reader fanfiction

[boogernotbogger]

Strawberry ice cream

Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader

Rating: teens and above

Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi and y/n meet at calculus class in college and become friends. However, y/n slowly develops feelings for Sakusa.

Word count: 6282

A/N: Please support my works on AO3 here

Weird.

It’s the first thought you have when you see the curly-haired boy poke his head into your classroom. Half his face is obscured by a mask, and you can see two tiny moles peeking out from under his hair.

It’s your second day of college, and first lecture of calculus. People are starting to trickle in, as you’re here early. And yet, the boy looks anxious. He walks in gingerly, and thoroughly sanitises the desk and chair before he sits in front of you, at the window seat. The morning sunlight streams in, and bounces through his curls, making him look like some baroque-style painting. You look out of the window and smile. This is going to be an interesting semester.

~~~

Two weeks later, it is most certainly turning out to be a not fun semester. The workload is already huge, making friends is difficult when your schedule is occupied with purely lectures and sleep, and homesickness, it turns out, is a real thing that you aren’t invulnerable to. 

The masked weirdo in your calculus class seems allergic to people, and for some reason, it is really not easy to pay attention to sequences and continuity and what not, when the only thing your eyes latch onto is a halo of perfectly formed ringlets, interwoven with magical drops of sunlight.

You learn that his name is Sakusa Kiyoomi, he is a volleyball player, and a misanthrope through and through.

~~~

It takes time, but you two start to talk.

It is your third week of college, you just spoke to a blond boy more introverted than you, and you finally got your sleep schedule down. You walk into class in high spirits emboldened by your successes, plop your bag down into your seat, and go stand in front of Sakusa. He flinches, but relaxes by a smidge when he sees you not coming any closer.

“Good morning Sakusa-kun, I’m l/n y/n. we’ve never spoken before and that is kind of weird since we sit close to each other. I’m a first-year statistics student. You?”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi, first year economics. Nice to meet you.”

And thus, started your friendship.

~~~

Two months into your college life, you are fast friends with the blond, Kozume Kenma. He introduces you to Akaashi Keiji, and their respective roommates, two incredibly loud and embarrassing second years, with ridiculous hairstyles. Apparently, the four of them had been friends since their school days and played volleyball together, though the seniors seldom hung out with you as they were always busy.

By now you have also had enough time to get to know your own roommates, to watch sappy romance movies with them, and pledge lifelong friendship to them. Your social life has never been better.

And of course, come calculus class, you meet Sakusa, chat with him about whatever novel you last read, and listen to him describe the intricacies of volleyball. You find yourself thinking that you have never met anyone as passionate about anything as Sakusa is about volleyball.

His dark eyes get a glint to them, and though he refuses to take off his mask, his voice comes out clearer than anytime else. He gestures wildly with his hands, and his hair keeps flopping onto his forehead. He pushes it back impatiently each time, but continues to nod his head off each time you understand a concept clearly.

He kind of looks like one of those little dolls with springs on the bottom, that you stick on your car dashboard for amusement, with the way he bounces on his spot with enthusiasm.

It’s cute.

And you notice he has pretty hands. Like, really pretty hands.

You notice the way his eyebrows quirk in amusement when you talk about the second-hand embarrassment you endure, caused by the heroine of whichever book is your newest obsession. It makes you want to see his full smile, maybe elicit a laugh. You notice the way he raises his right eyebrow until his moles disappear under his hair, when you squeal about something especially hot in the story.

You notice that you seem to be noticing a lot about Sakusa.

~~~

One month later and you find yourself hanging out with the oddest group of friends you have ever had. You have your two roommates, one loud and social, the other adventurous and kind. Then there’s Kenma, who’s always got his nose in a game, and his ears peeled for any gossip he may inadvertently come across. There’s Keiji-kun, and he’s your favourite. He loves his studies, and he’s quiet, but he loves reading and oh boy does he have a talent for overthinking. He’s the most relatable person you have come across in college.

And of course, there is Sakusa. He is reclusive, but by now you know that it is only because he cares more about the germs on people than the people themselves. He tends to hang out more with you or with just the other two boys, than with the whole group. You are yet to figure out whether that is because he deems the other two too germy for him, or because he only likes people who like volleyball.

It had been a surprise to you when you’d introduced him to your group, only for the other two boys to just nod as if they knew him already. And then they’d told you about their volleyball history, and how his school always beat theirs.

“Oh yes y/n, didn’t I tell you Bokuto-san considered him his rival, because Sakusa-san was the nation’s top spiker, and Bokuto-san narrowly missed being in the top 3?” was Keiji’s very succinct explanation of the whole situation.

And that’s how you had found out that not only was Sakusa a volleyball-freak, he was the nation’s top volleyball-freak, and had represented the country several times in the under-19 category. 

(So had Bokuto-san, the owl-like senior who was Keiji’s best friend and captain, but you found that out only when you went to sit in on your college team’s practice sessions.)

(It had bugged you that Sakusa had never told you this before, but you let it go. Sakusa was a very private person, and the only times he spoke voluntarily were when he talked about volleyball. He had no ill intentions.)

~~~

Your first semester ends, and you celebrate with your group by playing games in Kenma’s apartment. It feels nice, talking and laughing with everyone, but after a point, your social battery dips and you find yourself zoning out from whatever banter was currently happening. Something about whether Kenma’s best friend and roommate Kuroo Tetsuro had a better hairstyle than Keiji’s best friend and roommate Bokuto Kotaro.

Honestly though, that wasn’t even a conversation worth having. They both looked stupid. One looked like a rooster shat on his head, the other looked like an owl sponsored his hair gel supplies.

Kenma had dug out an old Monopoly board from somewhere and that was the game currently happening, with you and Sakusa acting as joint bankers. You had both learnt long ago that it is more fun to incite the players against each other than to be one of them. And this was a modified version of Monopoly that you lot had come up with, having a lot of extra and needlessly complicated rules, so it was definitely more fun to just watch.

Sakusa was strangely quiet too. He generally tended to be quiet, but just a couple of hours ago he had gone into a very passionate speech over how strawberry ice cream is the best ice cream to ever exist. He’d accepted no arguments to the contrary.

“It may be pink and look like something Barbie puked, but it tastes exactly like Barbie’s dreams. Strawberry ice cream tastes like freedom and empowerment: I can be anything! It is sweeter than vanilla, not that vanilla is less good, no, vanilla is also a great flavour; it is just that strawberry is superior. Strawberry ice cream is sweet like syrup, like the drinks your grandmother made for you in your childhood when you came home after rolling in mud the whole day. If ‘happy memories’ had a flavour, it would be strawberry. Yes, my argument is based on nostalgia, and you can laugh all you want, but you have to admit that if you had a happy childhood, it was pink. If you didn’t have a happy childhood, well you certainly wish you did. You wish for happy memories and a future you can look out on with hope and love. La vie en rose, I say! Life in pink! That is the wonder of strawberry ice cream! And not to mention, all your childhood drawings of ice cream had a pink scoop dripping off the cone. Whether you want to or not, subconsciously you have all accepted that strawberry is the default, and hence, the best ice cream flavour. Thus, I rest my case.” 

With that, he’d sat back down, and licked off the final drops of his chocolate ice cream, and grabbed the controller for the next round of Mario Kart. You’d clapped, because come on, an impassioned speech like that deserves applause. One single corner of his mouth lifted, and he turned to you to flash you a dimple before his eyes fixed back on the screen. The gesture did not make you imagine what it would be like to poke your tongue in his dimple.

But after that incident, he was mostly silent, the speech probably draining him of whatever social battery he did have. He sat next to you now, calculating the amount each person owed the bank, and adding the penalties Keiji had accumulated from making fun of the strawberry-speech.

Yes, the penalties were for incidents that happened before the game started. You can’t argue with the banker for the banker is God.

You mostly left the banker-ing to Sakusa, while you got lost in your daydreams. Kenma was now in jail because he said that his school’s libero was better than Sakusa’s.

Which reminded you of the last book you’d read. It had had a character who was in jail for most of the story. He’d coordinated his attack plans from there. When the villain came to taunt him, he’d very suavely escaped and kabedonned her. But just when he expected her to swoon from his good looks and his proximity, she’d pulled out a dagger from under her skirt and stabbed him.

You’ve always wanted a dagger to hide under your clothes. Actually, you wouldn’t mind being kabedonned either, but Sakusa had very firmly declared the gesture ‘lame’ when you’d told him about it, and now you remembered that you were supposed to be annoyed at him for it. Because seriously, the audacity!

DHONN!

You jerk upwards to see the group laughing at you. Sakusa had apparently just banged a juice can on the table next to your face to get your attention.

“Huh?”

“You’d zoned out for longer than usual y/n. and you looked pissed. All ok?” Sakusa asks, but he is clearly amused.

“Kabedons are cool,” you declare, and get up to fetch yourself another slice of pizza.

He just snorts.

For some reason, it sounds cute. And now your brain is filled with images of a cute pink piggy with an incredibly curly tail. Like an oinky Kiyoomi. Kiyooink.

You laugh. You are definitely going to tell him this later.

~~~

The next semester starts, and you and Sakusa don’t have classes in common anymore. You see him around campus less, and spend less time together. Now that he has also adjusted to college life, he is paying more attention to volleyball. The end of the previous semester was filled with matches, but this semester he spends less time with the college team, and more time with the national under-19 team. You attend some practices when you can, sometimes with friends. Keiji-kun and Kenma explain various moves to you, and introduce you to other players they know. It is a fun experience. All the boys are like Sakusa, incredibly passionate about the sport, incredibly talented, and at least a foot taller than you. They towered over you when you first went to talk to them, but you soon learn that they are all sweet goofy kids with only volleyballs for brains.

You notice that they maintain a physical distance from Sakusa, only getting closer to him when necessary. But even so, he seems more at-home with his team than in your motley group of friends. It makes your heart ache sometimes, that there is someone right in front of you, whom you want to be closer to, but there is a seemingly uncrossable chasm between you. And yet he would turn towards you and flash a dimple, and you would berate yourself for not being grateful for the attention he already gives you.

~~~

First year ends, and you all go home for the holidays. You make no plans to meet each other, since you will inevitably meet once the new semester starts. You spend your two-month break laying about in bed, watching anime, and reading books.

You also make sure to call and text your friends regularly. Keiji-kun sends you memes, Kenma texts you about whatever anime character you get obsessed with. Your roommate-groupchat is filled with vacation photos of you 3. Life is good.

You notice that Sakusa never texts. Sakusa never calls. Sakusa never reaches out to you. But when you do call him, you both talk for hours, and time passes by in the blink of an eye.

With every phone call, every text, and every laugh you share, you wish and wish he had started it. You wish he had been the first to reach out to you. You wish, for once, he would call you. You wish, for once, he would share something about himself with you that was only for you to know.

You wish, and you wish, and you wish.

~~~

Second year starts, and all your friendships pick up right where they left off. Except that Sakusa is hardly ever around anymore.

When you asked about his absence, he simply said, “I studied hard and played hard during the holidays. Now I do not have to put in as much effort into classes, because most of the hard work is already done. I can focus on volleyball to my heart’s content.”

And that is what he does. You have no idea whether or not he attends his classes, but whenever he has free time, either he is studying by himself, or he is off doing drills by himself. It has been a full year since you became friends with him, and yet, he seems as distant today as he was on the first day.

It hurts. You miss having more free time to spend with him. And yet, you have no right to complain. His first love is volleyball, and he has made it clear to you that his priorities will never change.

It hurts, but you push it aside. You have other friends to spend your time with. On days when all six of you unexpectedly have free time, or on less academically challenging days, your group, including Sakusa, hangs out together. You generally go to the local fast-food joint, he would sanitise the table, and never take off his mask. But he would be there. He would be there for these small moments, and you cherish every mask-covered smile he gives, every sarcastic comment he makes.

You miss your friend, but for now, this is enough for you.

~~~

Second year passes thus: you are swamped with coursework, you hang out with your group whenever possible, you go out exploring the city with your roommates, and you get fleeting moments with Sakusa.

You’re almost happy with the set-up, but each time you talk to Sakusa, you want more. You want to talk to him more. You want him to talk to you more. You want to listen to his excited volleyball rants.

You want the days when your biggest problem was your inability to focus on differentiation because of a head of gold-infused raven curls. You want your friend.

So you call. You roughly know what his schedule is. Sometimes you go meet him when practice gets over, sometimes you call. He is tired, irritable, and excited all at once, but he seems to love gushing over whatever play he tried that day, and you enjoy the moments you spend with him.

He never calls though. He tells you that he appreciates you calling him, because your company is always welcome, yet, he never calls. You know that that in no way implies that he doesn’t like you, and yet, it hurts.

You tell yourself it hurts because he is your friend, and he has a scarcity value attached to him.

~~~

The only difference between second year and third year is that, Sakusa now has an undercut.

The semester starts with your group meeting up to celebrate Japan’s performance in the recent 2016 Rio Olympics. Sakusa and Bokuto had been second-string spikers on the team, and Sakusa had been called on-court multiple times as pinch server. His nasty wrists made it damn near impossible to dig out the ball, even on the international level – the world stage. You were so, so proud of your friend, and your celebrations continued well beyond midnight.

When the party finally ends, it is with Keiji dragging off a mildly-drunk but sleepy Bokuto, back to their apartment, Kenma asleep on the couch, and Sakusa offering to walk you back to your apartment. The other two girls had left already, since they have classes early in the morning and you don’t.

You walk back in silence, and for the first time, it is suffocating. You look up at him, wanting to gauge his mood after such a raucous celebration, and notice that he hasn’t put his mask back on yet. You figured out pretty early on in your friendship that that is a sign that he trusts you aren’t disgusting enough to warrant wearing a mask around. It’s quite flattering really.

“The weather is nice, isn’t it?” he starts, and stops immediately when you snort at the lame conversation starter.

“Well, you aren’t talking, so I thought I could try,” he shrugs, and you smile.

“Not a bad effort,” you answer. “Well, Sakusa-kun, we are being blessed with sunshine these days, and it’s very nice and warm at all times. Although, one could argue that the warmth right now is due to your inherent hotness.”

You look up at him, anticipating his reaction, and he doesn’t disappoint. He throws his head back and laughs, a quiet, precious thing, and you bottle up this moment to keep with you for the next time you miss him.

“I missed this. Training was gruelling, and the matches were exhilarating. I was always so high on emotions that by the time the Games were over, I was just done. Exhausted. Came home and just slept for the next week. I didn’t realise how much I missed your nonsense until just now, when I have to deal with your nonsense.” His eyes are soft, but all you can focus on is-

“Nonsense?! Sakusa Kiyoomi, I will have you know that the only nonsense here is you...”

He laughs again, and you trail off. You’ve never noticed before, but he’s grown. He was always tall and well-built, but there is a softness in the way he speaks now, that wasn’t there when you first met him. The way he carries himself has changed too, shoulders held back and proud. He is still the wary boy you had befriended two years ago, but there is a manly charm that wasn’t there before. And suddenly you want to continue talking. Comforting as it is now, you don’t want the conversation to trail off into the sweet silence it is heading towards. You feel the sudden urge to know him, stronger than you ever have before, and before you can help it, you blurt out, “You could have called me, you know. Or texted. I missed you as well, but I didn’t want to disturb you during the freaking Olympics! But even otherwise, you do know that I would like it if you reached out to me, right? Like on normal, non-Olympic days, you could text just because you feel like it.”

He frowns, and says, “I probably should. Honestly, it’s not like I don’t text you on purpose, I just kind of… forget. I don’t forget you, I just get caught up in stuff, or my brain is filled with TV static, and I don’t reach out to anybody at all. But I’ll try, okay? Yeah, you would probably ditch me if you are the only one forced to keep this relationship going, and that would be a pity.”

He reaches up to ruffle his hair, a rare occurrence because hair is filled with germs, and that’s when you notice it. The back of his head is buzzed close to his scalp, but hidden by the longer curls above. “You got an undercut?”

He frowns at the sudden change in topic, but nods, “Yeah, my nape kept getting sweaty, and other guys in the national team had undercuts and they found it functional, so I thought I’d try it. It does feel very nice actually. I still have my curls, but I don’t have to deal with too much sweat. Why?”

“I noticed it just now. It looks good. Really brings out your jaw. Probably explains why your jaw looks more prominent now. Good going.” You give him a thumbs up as a reassurance that it does look good, and turn around to enter your building. “Thanks for dropping me off, get home safe, okay?”

He waves, and disappears into the night, his own apartment a short walk from yours. You sigh as you climb the stairs.

Good was an understatement. Hot was better. Sexy was probably apt. You wonder if he will let you run your fingers through his shorn locks, and sigh again.

You are a reader. Perhaps all you can do is dream.

~~~

After the party at Kenma’s, college life went back to normal. Sakusa seldom hung out with the group, choosing instead to spend his time on volleyball. But after your conversation, he made it a point to text you every once in a while. True, they were just forwarded ‘good morning’ messages, sometimes memes about clichéd romance tropes, but it was better than nothing. Each text from him made your heart beat just a little faster.

~~~

It does not come as a surprise to you when you realise you have a crush on your friend. On your friend whose heart belongs to volleyball. On your friend who never opens up to you, and who is happy talking to you once every couple of weeks.

You embrace the feeling, and the sadness it brings with it. What else can you do? He’s one of your dearest friends, and he does deserve to know how you feel about him.

But again, you have a crush on someone you already love dearly. Can it even be considered a crush? You’ve had crushes before, and those feelings were always made of just a combination of wild giggling and nervous excitement. This however, this is a warmth in your chest and a smile on your face. This feeling, is a quiet little laugh, dispersing in the night like dandelions in the wind. This feeling is the excited glint in dark eyes when passions are aroused. This feeling is a cute head bobbing along to your words. This feeling is two moles on a forehead, curly hair over a shorn nape, pretty fingers gesturing wildly.

This feeling, it feels like strawberry ice cream on a warm summer day, when you’ve just returned home.

~~~

Obviously, you tell the rest of your friends. You do need people you can fangirl to about him. They’re quite supportive really, given the circumstances. They encourage you to tell him how you feel, but Kenma adds, “You need to remember that he may not reciprocate, y/n. In fact, there is a greater chance he won’t reciprocate. I don’t want you to get hurt or lose your friend, but I do think you would feel better if you tell your friend that you’ve got a crush.”

And that is the problem, isn’t it? You want to tell your friend that you have a crush on somebody. It kills you that if you tell him whom you’ve got a crush on, he’ll probably avoid you. But if you don’t tell him, you’ll suffer in silence, wondering about all the ‘what if’s’.

For now, you bury the matter. You want to enjoy this, this feeling, just a little longer.

And so you simp. You squeal over his voice and his muscles with your roommates, you swoon over every sweet gesture he does, and you endlessly simp over his pretty, pretty hands to Keiji-kun. He’s probably grown sick of you by now, but it is funny to see him annoyed.

~~~

Third year ends with Bokuto signing on to Division-1 team MSBY Black Jackals. 

Your last year of college begins with heavy research for your final-year project. On top of that, you now have to study for entrance exams, and college exams, and explore colleges for further studies. You know that you want to go into finance, and for that you now have to deal with an internship on top of everything else.

All of a sudden, you are under more stress than you have ever been in.

And then in the middle of the seventh semester, Sakusa drops a bombshell, “I think I will move to Higashiosaka after my graduation. I want to try out for the Black Jackals. They have Miya Atsumu and Bokuto-san, and I will be lucky to continue working together with those two monsters.”

Your heart stops. You need to tell him. He deserves to know. You had put off your feelings as a problem for the future, but the future is now.

~~~

Barely a week has passed after this conversation, and you call Sakusa crying, “Kiyoomi-kun, please can we meet? My project is going nowhere, and I think I have way too much on my plate right now, and I feel so selfish saying that to a person loaded with the same coursework as me, and is balancing a professional athletic lifestyle on top of it, but I don’t know what else I can do!”

Ten minutes later finds you both sitting on some bricks in an abandoned alley in your neighbourhood.

You rant and rant and cry out all your overwhelming feelings of helplessness about your current academic load. Sakusa sits quietly, and just listens to you cry your heart out, offering water every time you pause for breath.

“… I think that covers everything, I’m sorry for dumping it all on you so suddenly. I think I just got overwhelmed and had to let it all out of my system. I’ll be fine once I sleep,” you conclude.

“It wasn’t a problem at all y/n. And it isn’t selfish to be overwhelmed, or to tell me that you are. I have been balancing volleyball with studies for my whole life, obviously I’m doing fine now. But thanks for trusting me.”

You sniffle a bit more, and manage a small smile. He presses your bottle into your hands, and you chug down more water.

It hurts. He’s your friend, and he’s perfect and it hurts. You hadn’t sought him out today because you wanted him, but because he is your closest friend and his presence comforts you like no one else’s. but he’s sitting right next to you without his mask, despite your disgusting runny nose, and he’s offering to be there for you when you need it, and he tries to message you because it makes you happy, and it just hurts. You need to tell him.

“There’s one more thing. Just hear me out, okay?” you stand up and start pacing and continue without giving him a chance to reply, “I love you. You are one of my best friends and I love you. Except that I also like you. As in, I like you like you. As in, I have a crush on you. Except that you are my friend and I love you, and is it even possible to have a crush on someone you already love so dearly? Therefore, I think I’m in love with you. And it hurts. It hurts that there’s something, no someone, I want so deeply, and they’re right here, but they don’t want me the way I want them. You love volleyball, and you’ll be in Osaka this time next year, and I could try to look for placements there, but then, I should probably just let go, right? I mean, you barely text me because your brain is filled with ‘TV static’, so really, what are the odds you like me the same way I like you? You find romantic stuff lame and you find germs too germy. So yeah. That’s it. I’ll shut up now before I do irreversible damage to our friendship.”

You finally look up and meet his eyes.

~~~

He’s there.

When you’re smiling, he’s there.

When you get excited about your books, he’s there.

When you worry about your fears coming true, he’s there.

And when you’re at your lowest, he’s there.

How could you have been expected not to fall in love with this man? This man who has been there for you through all your highs and lows, who has smiled for you each time you’ve felt joy, who’s laughed with you each time you planned for the happy days ahead, and who’s just been there each time you needed somebody to be there for you; how could you not fall in love with this man?

You look at him. You look at him and you see your best friend, your confidant, your first love. But for the first time, you see beyond his pretty fingers and his soothing smile and his calm rationale. You see the apprehension in his eyes, the very real fear of what is to come.

And even then, he smiles.

He’s there. He’s right there in front of you and you are looking at him, and for the first time, you see a lover.

He must be able to see the hope blooming on your face, for his own tentative smile unfurls into that quiet chuckling laugh you have grown to love.

“I thought it was all in my head y/n. Your weird flirting and the sexual tension that popped up out of nowhere,” he announced, clearly very proud of having figured you out before you announced yourself.

“Weird flirting? I was not trying to flirt…” you started, before he laughed again and started to stride towards you, gleam in his eye as if you were Miya Atsumu’s toss just waiting for him.

“Wha-“ DHHONNN.

You were too stunned to even flinch. Did he just kabedon you? His left forearm was right next to your right ear, and he had a little smirk on his face, probably excited that he caught you off-guard. It was, without a doubt, a kabedon.

Wait. Did Sakusa Kiyoomi just kabedon you?

Did you just experience the first kabedon of your life from Sakusa-I-think-cliché-romance-hero-gestures-are-lame-Kiyoomi?

Holy fuck do you need to fangirl. Right now.

“You really need to work on your flirting skills,” he breathes, his face mere inches from yours, his arm resting so casually near your face that one would think he practised kabedonning as a hobby.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEE-P“

He shoves his palm against your mouth, cutting off your squeal, and very effectively ruining the moment. Obviously, you lick the offending appendage. He looks scandalised.

“One moment. One moment, y/n! I thought I could surprise you with some lame cliché romance-hero move, and you just have to squeal in my face and lick my hand. You think you can look all cool and profess your undying love for me, but I can’t get one moment to one-up you? That’s it, romance over. We are done here.”

He turns away, as if about to leave, his hand still over your mouth. You reach out to grab him, but before you can, he turns back around and scoops both your wrists up in his one hand and pins them above your head in one smooth swoop, as if he practises this stuff every day as a hobby. His left arm has not moved even half an inch from its place near your face.

All you can do is stare at him as his smirk returns, with a light dusting of pink across his pale cheeks, as though he himself can’t believe his smoothness. Clearly, the ruined moment can be salvaged.

Very wisely, you keep your mouth shut and your squeal inside your throat.

He walks further towards you, until you feel your feet touching and there remain only a couple of inches separating your faces.

He deliberately looks down at your lips, before slowly lifting his face to your eyes. His own lips look soft and pink and pouty, and you have no idea what must be happening on your face, but it must be good enough for him to blush harder.

You have dreamed of kissing the pink off those cute pouty lips for ages and now that you actually can, he isn’t moving. He is just looking at you, drinking you in, as if mesmerised by whatever romantic fantasies are unfurling behind your eyes.

Or maybe he is just waiting for you to consent to him kissing you? Your brain very helpfully provides. 

You close your eyes and nod, unable to bear the intensity of the moment.

It seems that that was all he was waiting for because you immediately feel his hand cup your face, leaving its place near you head. And suddenly, you feel the softest pressure against your lips. 

The moment ends as soon as it begins, and when it becomes obvious that it will not continue, you open your eyes. Sakusa Kiyoomi stands in front of you, your face in his hand, your wrists in his other hand, his face as pink as his lips, and all you can say is, “hey man when you have your moment, you decide to end it even before it starts! Kiss me properly, I seem to be unable to move.”

He starts laughing, and dives back towards your face, muffling his laughs against your mouth. His fingers tighten around your wrists, and you squirm, wanting to touch him properly now that you have got your bearings a bit. His hand doesn’t loosen though, damn volleyball hand training!

He smiles against your mouth, as if sensing the direction of your thoughts, and you feel his knees parting your own. Very weakly, you part your legs, knowing that at this point, you are very pliable putty in his very capable volleyballer hands.

He doesn’t let the moment escalate though. All he does his keep one leg between yours to pull you close. He keeps your hands out of reach of his body, with his other arm somehow magically around your waist as if to pull you into him, and continues kissing you.

You decide to make as much of this situation as you can and let your tongue peek out of your mouth, but he pulls back. It feels like rejection until-

“One step at a time y/n. I need to sanitise my hand where you licked me, let’s not go into both our tongues licking the others’ yet.” You deem this as enough of a not-rejection, your ears giddily ringing with the word ‘yet’, as he releases you.

He steps back, letting your arms fall back to your sides, and caresses your jaw once before whipping out his sanitiser and practically dousing his hand in it.

“Want me to set it on fire? Alcohol is flammable and it has a greater chance of killing all germs,” you tease, as he pulls your hands towards him, sanitising your wrists where his hand had held you.

Once he is done sanitising, he turns to you and says, “In case that wasn’t a clear enough answer- yes, I want to date you as well. I love you, and have, for a while. We’ll figure out the future together, okay?”

And before you can answer, he grabs your left hand again, but this time, simply holds it as you both walk towards your neighbourhood. The sky has turned darker by now, a pretty shade of pink that you think very accurately matches the colour on both your cheeks. All you can do is turn towards him and smile your biggest smile, as your brain finally decides to reboot.

Sakusa Kiyoomi loves you. Sakusa Kiyoomi is yours for the foreseeable future. Sakusa Kiyoomi is holding your hand in his.

Sakusa Kiyoomi just turned one of your deepest kabedonning fantasies into reality with the same hand that is holding yours right now.

You can’t help it. You are a fangirl after all.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……”

“DAMN WOMAN WILL YOU STOP SQUEALING YOU SOUND LIKE A RAT TRING TO EVADE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!”

But his smile never wanes, and his hand tightens around yours, pulling you closer.

~~~

“Hey, I’m really in the mood for some strawberry ice cream right now.”

“Hah, so you agree strawberry is superior!”

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #akaashi keiji #kozume kenma #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x you #pining #slow burn #canon compliant #mentioned bokuto kotaro

[sionisjaune]

No plot all vibes cokehead Nico ficlet that needed to come out tonight...

Nico shakes out a gram, cuts a line with a card pilfered from Lewis’s wallet, and snorts it straight from the dashboard. It’s his car—the Ferrari he was racing when Lewis first met him—so Lewis doesn’t have to worry about trace amounts of cocaine left over. Nico pinches his nose and shuts his eyes, and then he crawls back into Lewis’s lap. 

Lewis’s fly is still open, his dick damp and recently tucked inside his boxers, and when Nico settles his weight on Lewis’s thighs, his pulse spikes like he could go again given a few minutes and an incentive. It doesn’t help that the inside of the car smells like leather and fuel and Nico’s sea-salty cologne and the sour sweat drying on his own neck. Lewis is hardwired to respond. It’s hardly his fault anymore. 

Nico wraps his arms around Lewis’s neck and rakes his fingers across the short hair on the back of Lewis’s skull. He can’t help but groan and tip his head back against the headrest and gaze at Nico through the curtain of hair falling in his eyes, the ends curling delicately on his cheeks. Lewis brushes a strand behind Nico's ear and pulls Nico flush against his chest so he can listen to the arrhythmic hammer of his heart. 

It’s pitch black outside the car, and the windows are cold and damp with perspiration. Lewis’s Corvette is parked around the corner, where he abandoned it to congratulate Nico for almost—almost—beating him. Then Nico shoved him against the door, wrangled him inside, gave him sloppy, desperate head before pulling a clear plastic bag out of the back pocket of his jeans. 

Lewis leans up for a kiss, cupping Nico’s cheeks to keep him where Lewis needs him. Nico opens his warm, wet mouth to Lewis and sucks on his tongue. It's easy to imagine that Nico’s mouth is a direct line to his bloodstream, and everything intoxicating in him is flowing into Lewis and causing the woozy, lead-limbed sensation that’s been creeping over him. The last time he saw Nico, Nico asked if Lewis wanted to take an edible with him, and Lewis walked directly out of the hotel room and spent half an hour seething in the parking lot. Nico was gone when he went back. He should have taken the fucking edible. 

“Stop. Stop it,” Nico says. His palm is on Lewis’s jaw, pushing his head to the side.

Lewis blinks, and Nico’s bright shape resolves in front of him. Nico isn't still kissing him, which is a surprise.

“Slow down for a second,” Nico says. He’s talking like normal, but his pupils are completely blown, irises blacked out. “My mouth is dry. We’re not going to be teenagers about this.” 

Lewis swallows. His throat clicks. He sets his hands on Nico’s hips and grips too tightly. It’s good for him, and it’s good for Nico, who needs to be held down sometimes for his own good.

Nico leans off of his lap, twisting so that Lewis can see the curve of his spine through his thin shirt, and pops open the glove compartment to dig around. He comes up with a crumpled pack of menthols that he tosses on the seat, a miniature bottle of whiskey, a silver box that rattles, a string of seashells that might be a necklace, a jagged shard of mirror, and, finally, a plastic water bottle, half empty. 

After a long swallow, he licks his lips and offers the bottle to Lewis, dribbling a small amount down his throat. It's tepid and flavorless in a revolting way.

“Here,” Nico says. He screws the cap back onto the water bottle, tosses it on the other seat with the rest of his junk, and seals his lips to Lewis’s again.    

#i'm at the point with this verse where i no longer desire to write them fucking i just want them to hold each other tenderly and make out #lewis wants this too but as usual he is violently grappling with everything about nico #street racing cokehead nico #tw drug use #(this should go without saying but i realize i have hardly been using trigger warnings on this blog)

[callsign-relic]

I like when people write predators going with a cat and mouse scenario like Tom and Jerry but different, it’s actually risky for the human vs their mech, the mechs got the size advantage and depending on the area the playing field, no matter how far the human runs their mechs just going to toy with them, Rodimus just letting his human run along his desk letting his hand slowly close around them once he finally decides to reel them in

AAAAAAHHHHH ANON YOU GET IT 😩😩😩 the key word here is “letting”. One of my top favorite things in size difference is how the bot can really do whatever they want to the human. The human thinks they’re so close to escaping when Rodimus decides he’s bored, and scoops up his little pet in mere seconds with ease. You caught me in a good feral mood today I would be more than happy to ramble a little scenario for this. Under the cut since I don’t wanna post blocks of text on people’s dashboards HAHA, no warnings this is sfw but open ended

Imagine the human getting caught trying to escape from Rodimus, and they fall flat on their behind as the blue glow of the captain’s optics wash over them while he gives them a curious, almost bored, half-lidded look. The human thinks he’ll grab them any second now, but they gently move to come to their feet, and Rodimus does nothing. He just watches them.

The human finds some hope in that. Maybe he finally got bored of them, and was going to allow them to go free. There’s when the human bolts in the other direction, doing their best to cross the distance of the mech’s desk all the way to the air vent on the other side.

Their goal is in sight, just a few more steps—

Until they ram into something.

Disoriented, they stumble back, holding their head and looking up to see a familiar yellow servo blocking their way. They turn and lock eyes with their captain, an amused little smirk cracking up the side of his dermas. The human growls, forcing their way up and scaling the mechanical grooves of his palm. They vault to the other side, only for that same hand to slam down in front of them once again— this time, gently pushing them back and further away from their goal.

The human looks back to Rodimus, who keeps that same little half-entertained grin. He thought this was funny. His cute little human, thinking they could ever stand a chance against his comparative strength. How easy it was for him to push you aside, erase all progress you had made. Oh, but you kept on trying. He could see the fire in your little spark— or, heart, he corrects himself. It was just adorable.

He had been so wrapped up in his cooing that he had hardly noticed you halfway across his desk again. Now, he knew this was cute, but it was the middle of the night. He had a ship to run tomorrow morning.

Having enough of this little playtime, the captain, in his half-asleep daze, slowly reaches over to you. You feel your blood pumping as you dash at a breakneck pace, but as the captain moves slowly and sluggishly, he covers all you had ran and more, and in mere seconds.

The open air vent above you stared back at you almost mockingly as yellow digits curl painstakingly slowly around you, sealing your fate as the captain secures a loose fist around you. You can’t help but let out a cry as you’re pulled up and away from your only chance of escape, tucked neatly onto the mech’s chassis. The gentle thrum of his spark and engine within him almost made you sick, but the captain couldn’t be more content to have his little buddy safe in his hands again.

Now… what was the captain going to do with you?

#relic answers #always happy to answer Rodimus based asks teehee

[trulybetty]

oct' x 23 - fog

Prompt: fog Pairing: tim rockford x f!reader Word Count: 692 Warnings: implied fellatio (fancy) and a tiny hint of spice, mistakes are my own Summary: thankyou @gnpwdrnwhiskey for kick-starting the thoughts on this one! stakeouts with tim...

x. masterlist

“This is all off the record,” he reminded you.

You stuck your tongue out at him, “Spoilsport.”

“I’m sure you’ll find another source to credit this with no issue.”

You went back to the crossword in the folded newspaper in your hand. “Twelve across, seven letters, affectedly grand, solemn or self-important.”

“I really hate when you do my crosswords,” Tim muttered, adjusting his seat and refocusing on the mist-shrouded building across the street.

“Then don’t make your stakeouts so boring.”

“Entertaining is not usually part of the process,” he grumbled, eyes scanning through the fog for any signs of movement. “Usually you know, strictly quiet and observe.”

“Well, that's going to make you stick out like a sore thumb.”

“What?”

“You sat all brooding in a car. Not entirely inconspicuous, Rockford.”

He pinched his brow, a headache already forming.

“You’re supposed to be helping, not hindering me.”

“Excuse you, I was the one who got you this lead. Consider it professional courtesy,” you retorted, flipping the page to look at the crossword clues' answers for a second.

Tim chuckled. “Professional courtesy, is that what we're calling it now?”

You shook your head, grinning despite the tension. “You're impossible, you know that?”

Silence fell between you both again, filled only by the quiet hum of the car's engine, keeping the heater going on this chilly, foggy night. You thought for a moment before refocusing on your crossword. “Twenty-three down, eight words, nuisance or unpleasant problem.”

“Headache,” Tim answered, his attention finally moving from the fog-covered view to meet your eyes with a look of annoyance.

Before you could open your mouth to respond, headlights from behind flooded the car.

“Shit,” Tim cursed as he looked up in the rearview mirror.

You sat up straight, the newspaper in your hands dropping to the floor, you knew better than to turn around, this wasn’t your first stakeout.

“What do we do?” You asked, trying to subdue the panic.

“Damn fog,” Tim muttered, gripping the steering wheel, “must have missed them coming around.”

Your mind raced. You needed a distraction, something to make whoever was coming around from behind not even give the two of you a second glance. In a split second, you ducked your head onto Tim’s lap.

“What are you doing?!” He hissed through gritted teeth.

“Shut up!” You hissed back, “just make it look like you’re enjoying yourself. If that’s even possible.”

Tim's face twisted in confusion for a split second before he caught on to what you were doing.

“If anyone bothers to look in,” you continued, “they're more likely to look away than try and see who’s in here,” you muttered, grabbing his hand to place it on the back of your head. “Misdirection Tim.”

His face twisted into a reluctant scowl, but he understood. This was no time for arguments; he knew you couldn't afford to draw attention. He kept his hand where you’d placed it, eyes still locked onto the rearview mirror.

The car behind you slowed down as it drove past. Tim threw his head back and groaned in a manner that boarded on comical and you tried not to laugh.

A moment stretched for what felt like an eternity, and then, finally, the headlights dimmed, and the car made a U-turn, disappearing into the fog.

Tim let out a sigh of relief, his grip loosening on the steering wheel as you sat up, taking a moment to adjust yourself.

He breathed a sigh of relief, “That was a good move,” he commented.

“Just part of my many charms,” you quipped, looking at the crossword once more before tossing it back onto the dashboard. “Alright, how much longer do you think we'll have to stay?”

Tim checked his wristwatch, “Another hour, maybe? Should give us a good scope of whoever comes in and out of that building.”

You sighed, settling back into your seat as you watched him adjust himself in an attempt to get comfortable.

You smirked, “Need help with that?”

“Focus,” he said, shaking his head in what could be taken as irritation, but the small smile that tugged at his lips told you otherwise.

#october x 500 #autumnal offerings #tim rockford x reader #tim rockford x you #tim rockford x f!reader #tim rockford x female reader #tim rockford fanfiction #tim rockford fanfic #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[bijouxcarys]

𝐓𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 (𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

Masterlist

Robert Plant x fem!OC

Description: Sometimes the pain of what should have never been, opens your eyes to what can be.

Tags: @celestial-dragoness @whothefuckisanja @callmethehunter @ourshadowstallerthanoursoul @strsmn @firethatgrewsolow @chromations @brownskinsugarplum76 @angrychicksposts (if you'd like to be added, just let me know!)

Elena practically flew forwards, her hand only just managing to stop the rest of her from slamming into the dashboard. She blinked once and slowly looked to her right.

“Are you joking?” she asked monotonously. “What the fuck was that?!”

“Don’t blame me, blame the fucking pigeon on the road!” John pointed ahead of him, one hand gripping onto the steering wheel. Elena followed his pointed finger and sighed.

“Bon…” she began. “That’s a fucking badger.”

“Huh?” He squinted, struggling to see a thing through the persistent sun. “Gah!” he grunted, waving his hand relatively in the same direction of the sun as he started the car up again, continuing their drive. “El, will you pass me my sunnies from my bag?”

Elena looked at John as if he was speaking an unfounded language. “You’re such a diva now,” she huffed, but smirked to let him know she wasn’t serious. Though she was certain he knew her enough to know she could never be snarky to him. 

With an exaggerated sigh, she turned and stretched over in between the two car seats, reaching for John’s bag. She pulled it over to her and got to unzipping it, just as he made quite a sharp turn, causing her to fall sideways into him.

“My God, get your arse out of my face.”

“Stop making stupid driving decisions, then!”

“Why don’t you bloody drive? You’re old enough now.”

“I’ll end up killing someone, mate.” Elena rummaged through his bag, looking for his sunglasses. She snorted when she came across handfuls upon handfuls of spare drumsticks. “You got enough sticks in here, Bon-Bon?” she asked rhetorically, finally finding his sunglasses and retrieving them.

“Here y’are,” she plopped back down into the passenger seat, holding the shades out for John. 

“Cheers,” he thanked her, clumsily putting them on his face with one hand, poking his eye in the process. “We’re almost there, by the way.”

Elena nodded, taking in the more urban character of their surroundings. It was a contrast to where she and John had grown up and spent most of their time. Sure, they weren’t all the way out in the countryside, but everything was within walking distance from each other. The closer into Birmingham you got, the more bus stops and taxi ports came into view, and the more reclusive passers-by seemed to be.

John had learned the ins and outs of Birmingham for the most part, ever since he started to pursue drumming full time and had to make these journeys in and out of the city. His recent endeavour, a band eccentrically named Crawling King Snakes, had inspired new confidence in him. The colourful landscape of musicians he had come across had never been more vibrant than the one he found himself in the middle of now. More than anything, hope was peeking over the horizon.

“So, what should I expect from your new bandmates?” Elena asked, resting her legs on the dashboard and tracing her finger across the grooves on her brown corduroy trousers.

“Nothing too crazy. Expect a lot of Welsh from Dave. Paul’s quiet… Dunno, they’re just chilled out guys.” He shrugged.

“Not really giving too much away, are you?”

“They’re hard to describe, to be honest with you. You just have to meet them,” John chuckled. 

Elena left it at that and sat back, enjoying the rest of the car ride. The radio had treated them nicely that day, feeding them with the slick tunes of Little Richard and The Drifters, to Elvis and The Everly Brothers. All music the two friends enjoyed throughout the years. Elena had taken a recent interest in The Rolling Stones, a sharp turn from what she was used to listening to. Growing up, she found her place in the Blues, and Soul. She could listen to the likes of Ella Fitzgerald and Nat King Cole for hours and never tire of their silky vocals; the pure emotion and heart that went into each stave and syllable rang deep within her, and she felt every word like kitten kisses upon her ears. 

Since John decided to become a full-time drummer, she’d been exposed to a wider variety of music that seeped from the essence of da blues to form a complete musical revolution that had quickly grown on her. The first time she heard the Stones was during her late night shift at work. Minimal pay for a 17-year-old, but the pub’s great company and tunes cancelled out the meesely wage. Satisfaction stuck with her all night. I can’t get no…neh neh neh nene neh neh… All. Night. 

The flood gates were swung open once she stepped foot into the record shop in search of more Stones. That’s when she first came across Bay City Rollers, Cream, The Yardbirds… it was a whole different world and Elena hoped with her entire being that there would be more of it to come—that it wasn’t a mere diversion in the chaotic lineage of music evolution.

Bag over his shoulder, John led Elena inside the building, where Crawling King Snakes had booked out a small space for a couple of hours in exchange for £100. Dave was somewhat peeved that they had to spend that much on a couple of hours, but was easily convinced nonetheless. 

“Ayy, there he is!” Paul exclaimed, raising his arms in the air as he spotted John at the door with his female companion.

“Ayy, y’alright, mate?” John greeted him with a manly hug, slapping each other’s backs in the process. It amused Elena greatly when she witnessed John in the presence of other guys; his entire demeanour toughened and he gave the facade of a sharp-tongued lad’s lad. Yes, he had it in him. But the correlation between that and his surroundings was too coincidental for it not to be causational.

The room really was small for a jamming session. Four yellow strip lights hung above, and the carpet was worn and colourless, as though waiting to be quenched by the kaleidoscopic symphonies of talented musicians. 

“Dave, get your arse over ‘ere,” Paul waved his hand over to the other male in the room, long-haired and lost in thought with a blue bass guitar slung over his shoulder. 

“El,” John began, slinging his arm around Elena and bringing her beside him. “This is Paul Martinez and Dave Edmunds—guitar and bass. They’re mental. Beware.”

Elena laughed and shook her head, holding out her hand to greet the two men politely. They reciprocated the greeting with friendly smiles, one accompanied by a cigarette hanging from his lips.

“This is Elena. She’s my best friend, partner in crime, and primary critic. If anyone knows what sounds good, it’s this girl, here,” he proudly introduced with a squeeze of her shoulders against him. 

“Good to meet you,” Paul said through the muffle of his cigarette. 

“Right, El, I need to set up properly, you’re alright just hanging about, yeah?” John checked, putting his bag down on a nearby chair. 

“Mhm,” Elena nodded with a smile. “I’ll be here.” She watched as John made his way over to the drum riser to get to work on tightening the drum skins and double checking placements.

With her arms folded comfortably, she took a small step backwards, only to collide with something, or someone, coming through the door behind her. She turned her head and moved out of the way immediately. “Oh, sorry…” she instinctively apologised before looking up at the person in question. 

“Nah, yer alright, luv, I was just gunna skim past you.”

Her chestnut eyes fell in line with two striking orbs of blue—expressive and welcoming. He had thick, curly hair that traced the fine line of dirty blonde. It looked like it could easily switch up in the glare of the sun, with how delicate it seemed. It fell into strong sideburns that stopped just short of his chin, framing a dimpled grin that dismissed her apology.

“Ah, Bobby!” Paul called in the midst of lighting a cigarette. The blonde grunted and looked over at him with a dissatisfied glare.

“Will you stop calling me that?”

“Bobby Bobby Bobby Bobbehhhh,” John joined in, in a crouched position by one of the snares. With a boisterous laugh, he popped his head up, gesturing a drumstick at Elena. “Elena, Robert, Robert, Elena.”

Robert’s brows lifted in realisation, a smile once again taking over his features as he turned back to Elena with his hand held out. “Ah, you’re the one he’s been talkin’ about, then.” Clasping his hand in hers, he leaned in to give her a welcoming peck on the cheek, as he did with all the women he came across.

“Great to know he’s been talking about me,” Elena responded loud enough for the drummer to hear, earning a distracted middle finger from him in retaliation.

“Oh, he’s mentioned you a fair bit, yeah,” Robert nodded.

“That’s disconcerting…”

“No, all good things, luv, don’t worry.” Robert waved his hand in dismissal. 

They naturally drifted further into the room as everyone hooked themselves up to the few amps they had lying around. Robert was itching to get started. He’d been looking for other strong musicians with a similar zest for life to jive with for a while, and hoped that Crawling King Snakes could at the very least lead to something magnificent. It made him all the more nervous to test out new material, though, now that he had an audience. Not just any audience, either. The presence of John’s female companion, who Robert wasn’t blind enough to recognise as physically stunning. 

Even though this was simply an opportunity to jam and test out different sounds, he knew he had to get it right. Whatever it was. Early on, he learned that leaving a not-so-impactful impression on the ladies was the last thing anyone should do when performing. It would be a notch on his ego, an ego he was subconsciously trying to craft around the slightly sensitive, yet lively, 18-year-old boy that he was.

Little did he know he had already made a lasting impression, simply by the way he greeted Elena at the door. There was something extremely European about his way of saying ‘hello,’ in a sense that it held the weight of a respectful, gallant gentleman. To Elena, that was extremely comforting and unique; exactly the kind of person she’d enjoy surrounding herself with.

The way he chose to dress himself… wow. She’d very rarely seen men adorn their bodies with such delicate material, bohemian and Eastern-inspired all at once. If there was one thing Robert was, it was remarkable, exceptional… abnormal—everything the world was missing but didn’t know it needed. And that was just by the way he dressed.

It was fair to say Elena’s interest in this eccentric boy was piqued.

Incidentally, the feeling was mutual. Robert was instantly caught up in the way her deep brown hair fell in natural waves down her back, tamed, yet allowed to sway freely with every movement she made. And her eyes, fuck, they were so big and captivating. He’d already picked up on her accent, always one to take note of such things. Alluring, unapologetically informal. So care-free. He only hoped that his first impressions of her were accurate. It would be a shame to see something so beautiful turn out to be the complete opposite.

“Bonzo’s a great drummer, isn’t he?”

Elena, leaning against the wall with her hands behind her back, cocked her head in Robert’s direction. “Bonzo?”

“John.” He nodded his head towards him.

“He’s a fantastic drummer. Always thought that of him.” Elena’s voice was soft as she admired him from afar. 

“How long have you two been together?”

The brunette had to steal a minute to confirm she had heard correctly. She had paused amid her smile in John’s direction. “Who?” she checked, glancing at Robert.

“You and John.”

“Oh God, no,” she was quick to shake her head, face falling flat. “No, no…”

Robert’s light smile fell slightly, and a soft shade of pink infiltrated his cheeks. “No?”

“Yeah, no.”

“No, what?”

“We aren’t together,” she insisted with a gesturing finger between herself and her best friend. “Hasn’t he told you he’s married?”

Robert’s eyebrows scrunched up, sending a curious glance over at John. “It’s never come up in conversation, I guess.”

“It was recent, to be fair.” Elena watched Robert’s analytical observation. “He’s got a one-month old son, as well.”

“Well, shit,” Robert breathed, running a hand over his face. “Sorry, I just assumed ‘cause of how close you two seem to be…” Behind the comfort of his hand, he scrunched up his face in embarrassment and shook his head. “Fuckin’ Bonzo…” he muttered. Crawling King Snakes hadn’t been together for longer than a couple of months, and none of the eight sessions they'd had thus far consisted of private-life talk. Each of them were too preoccupied with the music and forming a cohesive combination of personalities to delve into the lives of one another.

Elena’s swift dismissal may have translated as abrasive, and she became quickly aware of that as soon as Robert hid his face behind his hand, inaudibly scolding himself. She didn’t jump to reassure him, however. His sensitivity to the smallest misunderstanding was captivating. Rare. There was no need to maintain emphasis on something that clearly left him unwillingly flustered.

So, she changed the topic, focusing on the nickname Robert had used twice now.

“You call him Bonzo?” Elena smiled, not only at the name, but the way it sounded on a Black Country tongue. 

“Yeah, well,” Robert chuckled, showing an off-centre slant in his smile that emphasised the dimple on his right cheek. “He was insistent on calling me Bobby, so I thought I’d call him something that would piss him off even more, but…” He shook his head, watching his bandmate test out each drum to perfection. “He actually didn’t mind it, so it’s stuck.”

“Bonzo…” Elena tested the name in her own mouth, the cadence different in her Lancashire drawl. “It fits him, dunnit?” She said through a grin. “I’ve always called him Bon-Bon.”

“Like the sweet?” Robert looked down at her, resting his hand on the wall beside her head casually, the small blip in their conversation fading into obscurity.

She nodded, still looking at John. “Mhm. It was actually an accident,” she pointed out, glancing at Robert. “I guess I struggled to say ‘Bonham’ when I was 4.”

“Blimey, you’ve known him for that long?”

Elena turned her head to him fully, her mouth dropping open a bit. “Alright, calm down, how old do you think I am?”

“I-I didn’t mean it as in ‘you’re old’!” Robert laughed. “You can’t be much older than us!”

“I’m actually younger than John by a year, so…”

“Well, I’m younger than him by a few months.” 

“So, there you go, I’m not old.”

“Listen, luv, I was simply shocked by how long you’ve known him,” Robert incessantly defended himself, much to Elena’s amusement. She smiled at him, looking back at John.

“Nah, I bloody wish I was older.”

“And why’s that?”

“Can’t drink yet, can I?” She gave Robert a pointed look.

“That’s right, you can’t.” He feigned distress, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “The struggles of being 17 in England.”

“Oh, I know, it’s torture,” she played along, resting her head back against the wall.

He smirked. “So, you’re a drinker, then, eh?”

“Well…” she shrugged, “A bit, yeah. I work in a pub as a waitress, so sometimes I can have half a pint at the end of the shift if there aren’t that many people in. Which hardly ever happens.” She rolled her eyes.

“I’ve only recently turned 18, so I’m still trying to get used to buying alcohol in the shops without worrying about being caught,” Robert chided. “What pub d’you work in?”

“The George Inn. It’s like slam in between here and up in Walsall.”

“I see…” Robert nodded, chewing his lip in thought.

“That being said, I want to move a bit closer to here, eventually. Not entirely in the city centre, though, I like the countryside a bit too much.”

Robert just smiled as she spoke. He took in every piece of information, enjoying the way she’d speak in her hometown slang every now and then. She definitely spoke a lot, but Robert didn’t mind. He admired it.

“Like, closer to the city, but not completely in the city… d’ya get what I mean?” She looked up at Robert, completely unashamed of her rambling. 

“I get what you mean, luv,” he reassured.

“I know this might be weird, but I just love being surrounded by nature. It’s how I grew up—how both of us grew up,” she gestured between herself and John, who was almost done. “And I have a thing for plants. Being in the city doesn’t really reward you with that stuff, does it?”

Elena watched as Robert’s smile widened, seemingly proud of himself. She raised an eyebrow. “What’s that look for?”

“You have a thing for plants?” he asked.

“Alright, I know it’s a bit… nerdy, or whatever, but yeah, I do. I like the smell of them when you’ve just watered them, and the reflections they make when the sun hits them in the right spot. They brighten up a room. There’s just something… comforting about them.”

“You really don’t need to defend yourself, Elena.” She liked the way he said her name. It was almost like he was testing it out for the first time. “I’m a bit like that with nature. My parents used to take me over to Wales every year on holiday, and we’d stay right in the heart of nature. Right on the coast. It was great.” He folded his arms, glancing over at John. “Aren’t you bloody done, yet?”

“You’re the one yappin’ on over there ‘bout God knows what, don’t have a chomp at Bonz!” Dave scolded, punctuated with a funky run of notes from his bass.

“Oh, shit,” Robert snorted, his face flushing where his sideburns faded out into a light beard. “Guess that’s me cue,” he said to Elena, a small boost of confidence overtaking him in the dawn of stepping in front of a band. “Oh, by the way, my last name is Plant. And I’ve been known to brighten up any room,” he teased with a boyish wink.

Elena couldn’t help but grin, as much as she tried to resist looking silly, as she watched him walk up to the mic stand.

If Robert didn’t feel some kind of pressure before, he certainly did now. He’d just bigged himself up in the most pretentious way possible, in his mind, by using his name. His bloody name! If he could, he would have slapped himself, right in the face. As he stood there, right in between his bandmates and the inquisitive gaze of Elena, he felt it brewing in the pit of his stomach. A certain drive. A metaphorical shove to let go. To show off. To submerge himself in the euphoria he called music. To do everything he’d admired his idols for for so long now. 

In this moment, he finally caught the essence by a fleeting blink of an eye, and he grasped it as firmly as he did the microphone, determined to never let it go.

Unsure of what she was expecting from the seemingly delicate, unruly-haired, sapphire-eyed young man in front of her, Elena sat on the edge of her seat as Robert exorcised such visceral sounds from his mouth. Unlike anything she’d ever heard. She watched as he got completely lost in the rhythm, shaking his curls around in time with each riff. 

The perfect combination of what she’d grown up on and what she’d recently ventured into.

It left her speechless; a big deal for someone like Elena, who rarely managed to keep her mouth shut. She had to distract herself, keep herself from acting like a babbling idiot before Robert even thought about asking her for feedback. So, whilst Robert helped John with some wires at the end of their session, Elena struck up a conversation with Paul, eager to know about his influences. But as much as she tried to focus on what Paul was saying, her eyes betrayed her mind, and made brief but definite glances at the singer on the drum-riser.

Robert bit onto his tongue as he concentrated on winding up one of the wires that had previously been connected to his microphone. John was busy complaining about how they had to make sure they left the room the way they found it, despite the state they found it in. They’d be blamed for it either way. Young, aspiring musicians were blamed for everything these days.

He made sure to nod along, but stayed entirely fascinated by Elena, making hidden glances over at her as she chatted with Paul. Her hair that struck him upon impact now became an accomplice to the rest of her; the two hours he’d been in her presence was enough for him to know he wanted to see more. He wanted to know her, learn from her. 

“Uh, Bonz’,” he interrupted John’s rant. He took another moment to succumb to the temptation Elena unknowingly laid out for him, her own cheeks adorned with faint dimples when she laughed. Finally able to tear his eyes from her, he looked at John. “Is, uh…” He nodded his head in the relative direction of Elena. “Is Elena gunna be around a lot, d’you think?” He tried to make his inquisition as casual as possible, nonchalantly hanging the wire in his hands up on one of the hooks behind the drumset. 

Whilst John Bonham enjoyed his off-peak ramblings, he wasn’t naive, and he most certainly wasn’t an idiot. This wasn’t the first time another guy had come up to him with a question about his childhood best friend, wondering if she was single, if they were a couple, or anything of that nature. It wasn’t a common occurrence, but it happened enough for him to recognise that tone and look in the eye of any man who asked about a woman with an underlying interest in getting to know her. 

He stood from his seat, stretching his back out with an exaggerated groan to cover up the smirk on his face. “If she’s not working, I should imagine she’ll be around us a lot,” he responded, watching intently at Robert’s reaction. But Robert knew he was being watched, and tilted his head in an attempt to cover his expressions with the curls atop his head. This’d be fuckin’ easier if my hair was long…

“You don’t have an issue with her bein’ around, do you?”

“No,” Robert answered immediately, lifting his head up to meet amused eyes. “Just… it was just a question,” he sighed, giving up as Elena appeared at the bottom of the drum-riser, smiling at John.

“Yep, almost done, El,” he responded to a silent question he knew she was about to ask. “What time you s’pposed to start your shift?”

“Five,” she answered, folding her arms and sending a comfortable smile over to Robert.

“What’d’ya think?” Robert asked, jumping down from the riser.

Elena’s smile widened, but her response was cut off before she could even begin.

“What do you mean, ‘what’d’ya think’?” John chuckled. “El loves anything I do, isn’t that right?”

“‘Ar Bon-Bon is clearly very modest,” Elena teased, sending John a wry grin before turning her attention back to Robert. She considered him for a second, the earlier elation settled in her chest for now, and she was able to respond with a coherent elegance. “Not bad, Plant.”

Robert answered with an equally elegant nod of appreciation.

“Right, all done, love,” John huffed, joining them. “Ready to go?” he asked Elena. She nodded with a hum of approval. “Same time next week, yeah?” John turned to Robert, offering a manly hug once again, which consisted of a half-hug and a slap on the back. Receiving confirmation, John fished out his cigarettes in preparation for the ride to Elena’s work.

Before leaving, Robert made sure to give Elena another gallant kiss on the cheek, letting her know it was nice to meet her. She responded in kind, giving his arm a small squeeze in the process.

And as he watched the dynamic duo leave, Robert found himself already restless for next week’s session, where he’d hopefully get to see Elena again.

#robert plant #robert plant x reader #robert plant fanfic #robert plant fanfiction #led zeppelin #led zeppelin fanfic #led zeppelin fanfiction #rock music #fanfiction #fanfic #request #70s #1970s #classic rock #writing #writers #writer #fiction #fanfic writer #short story #fanfic writing #bijouxcaryslibrary #fanfics #multichapter #60s #Spotify

[softhairedhotch]

another hotchgan fic, this time they've been married for some time. rest of the fics for this month will go back to being aaron x reader fics so keep an eye out for those :)

comfortember day eight: grief/mourning

aaron hotchner x derek morgan

derek visits the graveyard and aaron finds him there.

word count: 1k

content/warnings: mentions of death, insecurities, doubts, but there's comfort at the end <3 established relationship

comfortember masterlist here!

also on ao3!

visitor

Derek finds himself at the graveyard. He's not sure why he's there, it just feels right at that moment. It takes him a few minutes to gain the confidence to leave his car, drowning out the calling of birds and wind alike with music to calm his nerves. Finally, though, after he tells himself that there's nothing wrong with what he's about to do, he switches off the music, grabs the flower from atop of the dashboard, and jumps out before he can talk himself out of it again.

Finding the grave is simple enough, remembering the route from the funeral as if it happened yesterday even when it's been years. The hard part is getting himself within ten feet of it without feeling guilt claw viciously at his chest. Deciding that he's close enough for now, he stares at the headstone with a heavy heart. 

"I'm gonna talk to you from here, if that's okay," he says out loud, feeling embarrassed. "I just wanted to… thank you. Not for dying or anything, no, but for giving me the chance to get to where I am now. With Aaron." He huffs out a laugh, fiddling with the stem of the flower. "That's basically just me telling you I'm glad you're dead, isn't it? Well, I'm not."

There's no reply, although that's no surprise. 

"Aaron still talks about you all the time. And Jack. He misses you; they both do. I'm not sure why I'm here, to be completely honest with you, I just… I needed… I don't know." 

Derek takes a few tentative steps toward the grave, anxiety bubbling low in his gut. He doesn't like feeling this way. Like there's a weight on his chest that may never go away. 

"I think I'm here to see if, well, if what I did was okay. Dammit, that makes it sound like I killed you or something. That's not what I mean. It's…" He shakes his head in anger. 

Birds fly overhead, singing a tune he's heard countless of times. His mind wanders to Gideon and he smiles solemnly when he imagines the man telling him the species and what their cries really mean. Probably something along the lines of you're not alone or everything's gonna be alright, he thinks, although he's sure the man would have made that up just to ease his mind. 

Taking another few steps forwards, he finds himself parallel with the bench in front of the headstone. He figures that, since he's already made it so close, he may as well sit down, too. Taking a deep breath, he leans forward and gently places the flower down onto the ground. 

"I just hope you're okay with this," he whispers after sitting there in silence for a few minutes. "I mean, your sister is, but she's not you, and I feel like I need your permission. I don't know. Aaron and Jack are happy, I think, with me. In their lives. But… it's not you, I can't be… you." 

"And I'm not asking you to be her." 

Derek jumps, turning around on the bench so fast he gets whiplash, and he chokes on air. "Jesus, Aaron," he almost yells, hand moving to hold in his beating heart. "Warn a man next time!" 

"Warn a man when I'm coming to visit my ex-wife's grave?" He asks, a small smirk on his lips. 

"Well, no, I, no, I mean, dammit, sorry." 

Aaron smiles, sitting beside him. He reaches out for Derek's hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles before dropping their joined hands over his own thigh. "You don't have to be sorry, Der." 

"You're not mad at me for being here?" 

He hums in response, eyes reading over the text written on the headstone before him as if he hasn't already read it a million times over the past ten years. "'Course not. Why would I be? Haley would be happy to have visitors."

"I'm not sure she'd like her ex-husbands new husband visiting her, though. Practically stole you from her." 

"Now we both know that's not true," Aaron sighs, squeezing his hand. Derek avoids his eyes. "Hey, look at me. Please?" Derek hesitates before looking up at him. "She died before we even so much as acknowledged we had feelings for each other, and even if she hadn't, we'd still have been divorced. She'd be happy for us." 

"But… yeah, she would." 

"Then why are you here?" 

Derek shrugs. "Guess I've been having doubts lately." 

"About us?" Aaron asks, unable to hide his hurt. 

"What? No, no!" Derek turns in his seat, a panicked look on his face. "That's not what I mean at all. I mean… I don't know what I mean." 

Aaron sighs and nods, wrapping his arm around Derek and tugging him into his side. Derek hums and rests his head on his shoulder, looking at the grave. "You feel like you've forced your way into a family that already existed."

"How do I stop feeling guilty about that?" 

"I don't know what to tell you, Derek. But just know that I love you, and Jack loves you, and whether you feel like it or not, you are a part of this family. You didn't force your way in, we let you in. We allowed you into our lives because you make us happy. You have a place here. With us."

Derek's chest feels tight and it takes him a few moments to collect himself enough to speak. "You really mean that?" 

"Of course I do. Wouldn't say it if I didn't." Aaron presses a kiss to the top of his head. "You know I love you, right?" 

"Mhm. I love you, too."

"I'm glad. Now let's go pick up Jack from school, okay? He has a big project he needs help with." Aaron stands up and gently tugs Derek up by his hand. He presses a kiss to his index and middle finger before lightly pressing the on top of the gravestone for a few moments. "Hope you're okay," he whispers. "Miss you." 

Derek watches sadly, an ache in his heart. 

"So," Aaron says, turning back to him and beginning the walk to the car. "How do you feel about making a fake volcano?"

tag list: @hotchs-big-hands @criminalskies

#derek morgan #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotchgan #hotchgan fic #mortch

[musingginger]

need you tonight // eddie munson

Pairing- Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Eddie Munson x Reader

Synopsis – Eddie shows up to your place after a sleepless night of terrors and the two of you drive to Lover’s Lake.

Warnings – season 4 vol 2 spoilers, talk of night terrors, light angst, kissing, LOTS of fluff, soft Eddie, crying Eddie, established relationship

Word Count – 1.6k

A/N- After rewatching Season 4, I’ve been thinking a lot about how Eddie would deal with what happened in the Upside Down. I’m really loving writing fluffy Eddie, so I hope y’all enjoy! And of course, if you enjoy it, please reblog! <3

I do not grant permission for anyone to use my work. Under no circumstances, repost my work on any other sites. I do not consent to anyone taking my work and posting it as their own.

The crackle of static woke you. “Y/n?”

You yawn as you roll over, rubbing sleep from your eyes. The red analog clock said 2:13am. Stretching out your upper body as your hands grab for the walkie talkie with the moonlight as your only guide. You fumble with the talk button, finally getting a good grip on the device, comically large in your hands.

“Eddie?” You whisper into the device.

“I’m outside.” The raspy voice of your boyfriend states. You knew what that meant.

Ever since Eddie had escaped the Upside Down, these calls became more frequent. He made you stay back that fateful night. You’ll never forget the sight of Steve and Dustin pulling Eddie’s blood-soaked body through the gate. The month he spent in the hospital recovering from his injuries. Comforting him when he would scream out from night terrors, his subconscious replaying the events in the Upside Down on a loop.

“Give me 5 minutes.” You say in a hushed whisper, hands already seeking out a pair of shorts to slide over your bare legs. Grabbing a sweater and throwing on a pair of dirty converse, you tiptoe down the stairs. Moving silently past your parent’s door, the soft snore of your pop filling the hallway. Creeping your way towards the back door, locking it behind you and quickly running down the gravel driveway to Eddie’s all too familiar van.

He throws open the passenger door for you, giving you a gentle smile. “Hey sweetheart.”

Hastily grabbing your hand, pulling you into him with a desperation you hadn’t felt from him in a long time. He pulls you half onto his lap, your hand on the center counsel. The kiss he gave you was hungry, forcing your head back with his pushing.

Pulling back from Eddie, looking deeply into his chocolate eyes. They were wide and wild, rimmed red with lack of sleep, and he was panting. His hair was mussed from what you expected was anxious tossing and turning. You place your hand on his chest, heart beating a mile a minute.

“Hey hey hey hey hey…” you coo. “I’m right here.” Breathing in through your nose, and out through your mouth, silently encouraging Eddie to do the same. He follows suit, half closing his eyes, anxiety slowly melting away.

Sliding back into the passenger’s seat, tucking one leg under you, lightly stroking his hand in yours. Eddie shifts the van into gear, never letting go of your hand for a second.

The drive was silent, other than the soft metal coming from the dashboard. Eddie was wearing the pajama pants you had bought him for his birthday, an aged Black Sabbath shirt and his signature leather jacket. He was white knuckling the steering wheel, eyes flitting from the road to the surrounding woods.

The cloudy sky loomed above the van as you drove down the desolate street, away from the warm lights of your neighborhood. You knew exactly where you were going. Lover’s Lake, as corny as the both of you found it, had become your safe haven on nights like these.

He turned off the car, the tape in his deck still playing softly. Eyes not leaving the steering wheel, his body immovable. You sit like that for a few minutes before he pulls you into his lap with ease. He lets his face fall into your hair, nuzzling into your neck. Strong hands grabbing at your waist, squishing you into him. It was like he didn’t want a millimeter of space between your bodies.

Eddie shuttered against you, feeling his hot breath on your ear. One of your fingers finds a tendril of curly dark hair, twirling it around and around. His body releasing a sigh into you, as you pepper the top of his head with soft kisses. The smell of stale cigarettes, musk and Irish Spring filled your nose, making you a tad dizzy. You wish you could bottle his scent.

You’re not sure how long you two stayed like that, but it was long enough that your legs started to fall asleep from where they pressed on the gear shift. You had to insist on getting out of the van.

“Comeon…” Whispering in the dark to him. His calloused fingers gripping your soft digits as you try to pry them from you. Eddie lets out a frustrated grunt as the emptiness filled the space where you once where.

Begrudgingly he opens the door, swinging your feet to stand on the soft ground. Other than throwing on the faded sweatshirt, you keep your hand locked in his, as you lead him to a tree the two of you had spent many a night under. The night air was surprisingly chilly for late summer, but since the opening of the portals into the Upside Down, it didn’t really surprise you anymore.

Sliding down, rough bark scratches your back, opening your legs for Eddie to sit between them. Typically, the roles are reversed, you’re the human teddy bear for him to clutch to after a nightmare, but something told you that tonight, this was what Eddie needed most.

He grips your ribs as he gets himself situated between your moonlit legs. The deep, navy water reflecting stars on Eddie’s face, making him look like a dark angel. You tilt his head up at you, placing a loving kiss on his lips.

“You’re ok. I love you. We’re safe.” You gently mummer. The mantra was something you learned brought him comfort during terror filled nights.

Snuggling down into your hair, fitting his chin perfectly into the place between your neck and shoulder. He planted a series of starved kisses against the hollow of your collarbone. You let out warm, soft shhhs, rocking him against your body.

At last, you feel his heartbeat reach a steady tempo, his breathing deepen. Your pretty boy finally getting some restful sleep. Looking out on the glittering water, you settle in, sleep long forgotten, getting lost in a daydream.

It was always the same thought that you would get caught up in. Years down the line, you and Eddie, married with a few little ones running around. Standing in the doorway to your living room, gazing on your rebellious love. Watching him play his guitar for one of your kids, all of them with the same wild mop as his, of course. His eyes flitting up to yours, a wide smile filling up half of his face.

A twitch from Eddie pulls you out of fantasy, a sudden pain of worry fills your heart. You watch as his brow furrows, creating creases in between his eyebrows.  Sweat glistening along his hairline, forcing curls to stick against his face.

You gently brush them away, caressing his face with your hand. The other on his jaw, stroking his cheek every so slightly. He lets out an abrupt gasp, gripping your chest so tight, you are sure you’ll find a bruise there later. He desperately tries to brush away the tears that had made their home on his bottom lash line.

“You’re ok. I love you. We’re safe”

You don’t let go of his jaw, grounding him on this plane, here with you. His shuttered breathing eases, bringing him back down to the shore of Lover’s Lake.  

“Got something in my eyes…” he grumbles, looking downward.

You nod, knowingly, giving his cheek a kiss. You don’t press him for details about his nightmare. The silver scars on his face glitter from the reflection of the water. You give each of them a small peck, trying to soothe away the terrible visions.

 “I’m cold…” he grumbles at you, still in between of the dream world and the real one.

“You wanna go back to the van, baby?” You tenderly utter. The brunette nods, wiping away another tear.

With his hand tenderly in yours, you lead him to the back of the van. He shuffles behind you, body heavy with sleep. Luckily, the back of his van is almost always set up for the two of you to take an impromptu trip to the lake. Just a little fluffing up was all that was needed.

Eddie sits on the edge of the van, feet dangling off the side. You kneel in front of him, sliding off his shoes and helping him lay back. Quickly kicking off your own sneakers, you crawl up next to him. The manboy already had his eyes closed. Messy curls make a halo around his head, really giving him a radiant look.

Gingerly, you take up the space next to him, your noses almost touching. He gathers your body into him, lips pressing to the top of your head, breathing in your comforting scent.

“M’sorry for all of this…I just really needed you tonight…” he mutters, groggily.

“Shhh… you don’t have to explain, pretty boy…” Kissing his chest delicately. You tilt your head up, lips slowly sliding over Eddie’s, delicately placing a comforting kiss on his puffy lips. “I’m always here. I’m always right here.”

You grab an old comforter from the pile of blankets and tuck it in around Eddie. The metalhead’s breathing gets heavier as The Sandman starts to sprinkle sand into his eyes.

“I love you.” He hums at you under the corner of the comforter.

“I love you too, Eds.” You whisper, giving him one last kiss on the cheek before hunkering down yourself. You’ve grown accustomed to falling asleep after him, making sure he was well on his way to dreamland before you could let yourself fall into a cloud of sleep.

Soft snoring fills the van and it’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard, your favorite song that you would happily play on repeat forever.

#stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things fluff #stranger things 4 #stranger things

[theladybarnes]

DON’T YOU WANT ME, BABY? : CHAPTER ELEVEN

“Do you wanna dance?”

▸ summary: a final chapter ends, while a new story begins ▸ characters: steve harrington, the party, & billy hargrove ▸ word count: 10k         ▸ warnings: angst, hurt, SMUT (18+MINORS DNI) p&v smut, unprotected sex, & semi fluff (forgive me for this chapter) ▸ series masterlist

“I can’t believe we’re doing this!” Mike cried as he continued to put supplies in the trunk of the car. 

 “Quit whining, and keep packing, Mike.” you called out. Wrapping another layer of tape onto the box underneath Max’s foot. It was a bit tricky with your eye still a little swollen shut, but you managed to get it pretty tight before you helped place it back on the ground. “Tell me again.” you said to Max, looking up at her. 

 “Left brake, right gas. Signal bar on the left, set it to drive.”

 “And?” you pressed on.

 “And I stop when you tell me to.”

 Nodding your head, you get up from crouching on the floor to stand up again. The sudden movement makes you feel a little dizzy again but thankfully you’re able to get back into focus to place a hand on her shoulder. “This isn’t gonna be like the parking lot ok? We’re gonna need to go at least forty-five to get there fast. Can you do this?” 

 Max gulped for a second before nodding her head. She reached out for your hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “I can do this. Trust me.”

 “I’m gonna have to.” you sighed, squeezing back. The other two boys came out of the house. Holding onto a barely conscious Steve. You got up from the floor, walking over to the car to open up the backseat for them. That’s when you get a good look at him.

 He’s red, stained with some leftover blood, swollen, and bruising up. The two seemed to attempt to patch up with different types of bandages they must have found in the Byers’ bathroom. A cute gesture if it wasn’t such a bad situation. 

 “Are you sure we can’t ditch him?” Mike asked, looking down at Steve with a frown before he climbed on the other side. 

 “I told you, he’ll be cool!” Dustin exclaimed climbing after you both squeezed Steve in the middle. 

 “He’s coming, Wheeler. The guy got his ass beat all to stick up for us. No one gets left behind.” you reminded him, pushing the seat back in place. 

 It’s a few minutes of struggling to get the rest of you in the car. But you managed to get two in the back with Steve comfortable while Lucas in the front is on your lap. Using his eyes to help read the map since you’re not able to. After a minute of Max pulling out of the long driveway, the journey to the tunnels begins.

 “Here,” Dustin said, passing a cold bag to you. “I found another ice pack for you.” 

 “Thanks.” you smiled, putting the cool pressure to your eye. A form of relief you finally needed. 

 Max surprisingly was pretty calm and collected as she drove towards the tunnels. Lucas kept his focus on the map while you told Max when to slow down or speed up. Everything was going swimmingly until a sudden murmuring from the back caught your attention.

 “Hey, buddy.” Dustin said softly, followed by some shushing. “It’s okay. You put up a good fight. He kicked your ass, but you put up a fight. You’re okay.”

 Steve’s groaning caused you to try and turn your head over, but the angle did nothing with your bad eye not letting you see. So you settled with looking forward. “Dustin, you better calm him down.” you warned, knowing what’s gonna happen if Steve fully wakes up while on the way there.

 “Okay, you’re gonna keep straight for a half a mile, then make a left on Mount Sinai.” Lucas instructed, holding the flashlight to the map. 

 “What’s going on?” Steve asked, sounding like he woke up from a terrible nap. You peeked around to notice Max worriedly looking over her shoulder. 

 “Eyes on the road, Red.” you called out, tapping at the dashboard.

 “Oh my God!” Steve softly cried out. Realizing what was going on. You can’t help but shake your head and really hope you aren’t about to regret bringing him along.

 “Just relax.” Dustin reassured Steve. “She’s driven before.”

 “Yeah, in a parking lot with your cousin!” Mike added, sounding annoyed.

 “That counts!” Dustin countered. You can’t help but groan out at the wrong time for these boys to be arguing. “They were gonna leave you behind.” he continued to Steve.

 “Oh, my God.”

 “I promised that you’d be cool, okay?”

 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on?!” Steve cried, ignoring Dustin. Max took his hysterics apparently as a signal to speed more. Pushing the car’s speed from your advised forty-five to sixty. 

 “SHIT MAX, SLOW DOWN!” you gasped, reaching a hand up to hold onto the dashboard. The speed plus your sudden panic caused Steve to join in even more as he began to croak out. Sounding oddly like he was about to be sick.

 “Oh, my GOD. No! Whoa! Stop the car. Slow down.”

 “I told you he’d freak out!” Mike chimed in.

 “STOP THE CAR!”

 “Everybody shut up! I’m trying to focus!” Max yelled next, making you even more worried about getting the others to shut up. Lucas jumped in your lap suddenly, making you huff out in a pained groan as he pointed to the left. 

 “Oh, wait, that’s Mount Sinai! Make a left!”

 “What?”

 “MAKE A LEFT!”

 The car veered left a bit, slamming into someone’s mailbox before Max gained control of the wheel again. She accidentally pressed down on the pedal, turning the car so fast and so quickly that all of you around her let out a scream. Holding onto anything that helped keep you balanced.

 As you hold onto a screaming Lucas, you can’t help but think about the others and hope they’re doing better than the rest of you here.

  By the time Max arrives at the field, you can’t help but feel nauseous at the stress and fear from being in the car with her. At one point, the only person Max listened to was Lucas as he read on the last few instructions. With a final crash to the sign on the long grass, the car finally came to a hard stop. Making all of you let out the breaths you had been holding.

 “HELLO.” Steve yelled, having been losing it still the whole drive there.

 Max glanced over at you, seeming to look for some sort of approval. But all you can manage to muster up is a weary smile and a thumbs up. 

 “Incredible.” Mike said, looking astonished at the record timing.

 “I told you. Zoomer.” She shuts the engine and the rest of you pile out of the car. Lucas helped get you out quickly and you lean against the side of the car to get your heart rate back to normal. The kids ignore the state of the only two adults around to start getting their gear together. 

 They rush past the two of you, to get their faces covered with different forms of face masks and goggles. Something Dustin insisted considering the air must be different in the tunnels due to the connection to the upside down. It was almost enough information to make you want to back out of the plans.

 Finally gaining your heart back to normal, you wrap one of the scarves you found in the Byers’ house around your neck until it’s snug around your mouth before getting what looked like an older pair of cyclist goggles. Steve is slowly realizing that everyone else is getting ready without him, causing him to freak out again. 

 “Hey, where do you think you’re going?” he called out to Mike. The boy went along with his tasks with the rope. “What are you deaf?! HELLO?”

 His next yelling target is Max, who just as easily ignored Steve as she joined Mike at his side. “We are NOT going down there right now. I made myself clear!” 

 Dustin and you share a look of sympathy. He obviously meant well. And he was most likely just upset about losing the fight. And Max’s driving. And the hole. 

 “Hey, there’s no CHANCE we’re going to that hole, all right?”

 Lucas completely avoiding him by going farthest away from the car was the final straw as Steve stomped over and reached over for one the bundles of rope you guys put together. “THIS ENDS RIGHT NOW!” he yelled, hopefully ending the dramatics.

 “Steve!” Dustin yelled. Making you jump a bit before you glanced over at him. “You’re upset, I get it. But the bottom line is, a party member requires assistance, and it is our duty to provide that assistance.”

 You placed a hand on his shoulder, silently agreeing with him as you gave Steve a half shrug. He looked honestly more tired than before, but at this point. It’s all hands on for this problem.

 “Now, I know you promised Nance that you would keep us safe.” he said, reaching for Steve’s bat and backpack. “So, keep us safe.” 

 Steve shook his head, staring for quite a minute at Dustin before his eyes glanced towards you. He raised a single brow, waiting almost for you to break out in a speech. 

 “Please?” you asked in a soft voice. 

 He sighed in defeat, reluctantly taking the bag from Dustin and looking annoyed at the handkerchief and swim goggles in his hand. You waited until Dustin moved on to join the others before walking over to cup the side of Steve’s cheek gently.

 He reached a hand up to place over yours. Making the moment feel entirely too delicate for how messy you both must have looked. “Your eye..” he gasped, taking in your appearance for the first time.

 “It’ll heal.” 

 “I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to get hurt. I-”

 Pulling down the scarf, you lean up on your toes and press a gentle kiss against his cheek to cut off his words. Making sure not to press too hard on any part of his face that might still feel swollen. “It’s okay. Let’s go tough guy.” you murmured walking away.

 The car thankfully is sturdy enough for when all of you eventually climb down into the tunnels. The low lighting casts a blue glow over everything but you can’t help feel it’s made the setting creepier. Especially when you don’t know what’s down the tunnel line.

 Mike is already ahead of the group, trying his best to read the map that they put together from Will’s sketches. 

 “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s this way.” Called out Mike from the front.

 Dustin scoffed behind you, not fully confident in his friend’s direction. “You’re pretty sure, or you’re certain?”

 “I’m one hundred percent sure! Just follow me and you’ll know!”

 You can’t help but roll your eyes, these kids are always so incredibly impatient with each other it’s a surprise they’re friends. How did any of them follow directions in that stupid game of theirs if they’re always fighting? Steve before you grew uneasy and began to stalk towards where Mike was.

 “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey, I don’t think so!” He called out, stopping Mike from moving any further. “Any of you little shit die down here, I’m getting the blame. Got it, dipshit?” 

 It was really at this point that all of you had brought Steve Harrington to his wits end. 

 “From here on out, I’m leading the way!” He pointed over at you, almost waiting to see if you’d rebut that. When you shook your head, he gave a small nod before turning forward again. “Come on, let’s go!”

 “Steve is so bossy.” Max muttered under her breath. 

 “Like a damn stick up his ass.” you joked back, making the two of you snort a bit.

 “I HEARD THAT!”

  The group had made its way deep into the tunnels. Making you suddenly aware of how claustrophobic it felt like. Luckily the only difficult part of the journey was the uneven flooring and the sounds of the kids’ constant questioning. That is until the sound of Dustin’s screaming caused the whole group to stop. But after watching him gag over his own coughing and calmly telling the group he was fine, you all threw a parting insult before carrying on.

 Thankfully there’s no mishaps after that and eventually you hear Steve announce that you’ve all found the hub. The wide space area with connecting tunnels being the dead giveaway without the map. All there’s left to do is drench the damn place with enough gas, it could light up a city. 

 The heavy smell of gasoline and the pain from your head has you nearly gagging once or twice as you quickly move to cover the floor up with the liquid. You wait until your pitcher is completely empty though before you join the others at the first entrance you came from. 

 “Allright, you guys ready?” Steve asked, crouching down near the floor by you. Everyone followed with a confirming ‘yeah’ quickly. You watched from the side as Steve pulled out his lighter from his pocket. 

 “Light her up.” Dustin ordered.

 Steve is hesitant for a moment looking down at his hands. “I’m in such deep shit.” 

 Leaning his arm back, Steve gave off one hard throw. Sending the lighter deep within the hub. Instantly the fire is fanned out over the floor, making the room glow in a bright orangey light. Though there’s no visible creature in sight, the sounds of soft screeching could be heard all around. As if the room itself were alive.

 “Uh, guys? The fire is getting pretty big!” you warned, standing up from the floor. The sense of urgency comes to everyone and suddenly Steve is yelling for everyone to go. Making all of you scramble out of the hub and towards the entrance again.

 The screeching echoed behind the group as you all ran back, Steve barking out directions as he took over the lead again. Every step you take has your breath getting shorter. The flooring nearly has you tripping with the vines that started to come to life.

 You made it over a particular step when a voice called out from behind the group.

 “HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!”

 “It’s Mike!” Lucas screamed, instantly turning around. Steve and Max have gone the farthest, making you have to yell out louder for them to come back. Turning, you rushed over to where Mike lay on the ground. Around this ankle is a thick vine like creature keeping him from moving. 

 Dustin and Lucas both grab one of Mike’s arms and tug at him before Steve eventually came back to swing his bat down on the tendril until it finally broke apart. But you’re still not able to feel relief when suddenly the familiar sound of growling approached the group.

You can’t help but reach a hand out to Dustin, noticing how much closer he is to it than the others.

 “Dart.” he called out. He barely took one small step forward when the rest of the group began to freak out. You quietly watched in panic as he stepped towards the creature. 

 “SHH. Stop.” Dustin replied, holding a hand out.

 “Dustin..” you tried, feeling your voice grow small, but all he did was hush you. Not being able to control yourself, you stretch forward to step out when Steve wrapped a hand around your arm, keeping you from moving. “If you go after him, it’ll react.” he whispered, making you feel only more nervous.

 “Trust me, please.” Dustin called out, keeping his gaze solely on the thing before him. The group stayed quiet, allowing your cousin’s calm voice to be the only thing that Dart would hear. “Hey, it’s me. It’s me. It’s just your friend, it’s Dustin. All right?”

 The creature approached him carefully, without a face you can’t quite place what it was thinking. But with its small steps it appeared hesitant. Dustin slowly crouched down before it. “You remember me?” It gargled lightly. “Will you let us pass?”

 Dart’s face flared open, showing the thousands of tiny teeth inside its mouth. The group jolted a bit, and you tried to get out of Steve’s grasp. Pinching at his arm to let you go. But all he did was grunt softly at the pain.

 “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry about the storm cellar.” Dustin chuckled. “That was a pretty douchey thing to do. You hungry? Yeah?” he reached behind him for his backpack, putting it before him on the ground.

 “He’s insane!” Lucas whispered.

 “Don’t.” Mike warned back.

 “Shut up!” Steve whispered, looking over at them. “And stop pinching me!” he said to you, moving his hand higher up towards your shoulder.

 “He’s literally giving the damn thing food!”

 “SHH.”

 Dustin continued on like there was no worried party behind him. Presenting the damn dog with a piece of leftover Halloween candy. “I’ve got our favorite. See? Nougat.” Dart let out a curious sound, leaning closer as Dustin unwrapped the candy for him.

 “Look at that. Yummy. Here, all right?” The creature began to slowly eat up the piece, making Dustin lean back comfortably as he gave some encouragement while signaling for the group to move forward. “Eat up, buddy. Come on. Come on.”

 The others carefully moved around Dart, trying their best to keep the piece while Steve practically had to lift you up and drag you to get away from Dustin. You would normally tell him off for that if you weren’t so scared of what yelling would alert the demo-dog to do.

 Eventually Dustin got up from the ground. Slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he cast one last look over the creature. It seemed to sense his same sentiment as it gave Dustin a parting glance before it returned to eating. 

 “Goodbye, buddy.”

The entrance is coming up when the world is suddenly shaking, making all of you fall over on the ground. Your swollen eye has surprisingly opened up, giving you a better chance to see your surroundings while the group questioned what made that quake happen.

 The sound of roaring is the unsettling answer you’re all given. 

 “They’re coming.” Mike declared, shining a light towards the tunnels. “RUN! RUN!”

 There’s no telling how close the demo-dogs are from the sound of the roars, making the rest of you spare no time as you run the rest of the way. God willing no other things try to stop you guys this time.

 “There, there!” You heard Lucas yell from the front. Down the way hung the rope from the outside, shining lightly like a beacon of hope.

 “Come on! Let’s go!” Steve yelled, leading the line. He turned around when at the rope, looking at you. Not giving you a chance to even climb up, he practically lifts you off the ground, yelling for you to grab onto the rope. When he saw that you were secured and climbing, he moved onto the next person. There’s a searing pain in your arm from having to use strength to lift you up, but you ignored it once outside to grab hold of Max who followed you. Then to Lucas, and Mike after. 

 “Come on, guys! Climb up!” you yelled when Steve nor Dustin had grabbed onto the rope yet. Peering down, you’re shocked to see that the two of them are looking towards the deep entrance. The sounds of the beasts got louder. A new panic flooded over you when you noticed that Steve pulled out his bat. Ready for the defense.

 Was he really about to take on a whole group of demo-dogs by himself? The image of him out in the junkyard came to mind again. Making your heart jump into your throat. He can’t do this!

 The other three are yelling for the two, trying to reach out for them when suddenly Dustin screamed. It’s silent for one second until the sounds of the herd continuing their run took over. The two boys are still by the rope, confused by the demo-dogs pushing past them. In fact, they’re almost being shoved that Steve wrapped an arm to pull Dustin close. What were they heading towards if they weren’t going to eat the two down there?

 “MOVE YOUR ASSES!” you yelled, not wanting to waste time figuring that out.

 The two quickly turned back to the rope. Steve helped lift Dustin up so that the rest could grab at him and help pull. The boys gave off a hard grunt when they managed to get him over. Finally, Steve jumped up, using his last bit of strength to climb the rope and get out of the tunnels for good. 

 You waited until he’s completely on the ground before you leaned over to wrap your arms around his neck. Pulling him close for a tight hug. “You were going to fight them.” you whispered in his ear. “You stupid, stupid, stupid, idiot. You were gonna take them all on.” 

 Steve stayed still for a moment. Almost shocked to suddenly have you this close. But it wasn’t long till he slowly moved his arms to wrap around you. Rubbing gently at your back as he nuzzled his face into your hair. “Yeah, I know,” he chuckled softly. “I had to.” 

 One of the kids coughed awkwardly and Steve gently let you go. Pulling back to get up from the floor before he extended a hand out to help pull you up. His hand is warm and squeezing yours so carefully that you’re a little disappointed when he lets go to head towards the car. But when you all slowly approached it, the headlights began to whir, making the lights blink on and off.

 Everyone watched in awe as it turned from blinking to a steady beam. Eventually turning brighter and brighter until all of you had to cover your eyes. But just as fast as it began to shine, it suddenly died down. Going back to its regular glow. 

 “What was that?” Max called out.

 “It was Eleven.” Mike answered. “She did it.”

 It’s only about two hours later when everyone is reunited again. The kids and you had gone back to the Byers house to discover that not only was Billy gone, but that Byers and Nancy had returned to the house. It was a bit of a weird hour or two of catching up. 

 Jonathan nearly went back out to find where Billy had gone to when he saw the state that you and Steve were in. But after everything that happened. Everyone just mostly wanted to rest for the remainder of the night.

 Like last year, the boys wanted to be with Will. But seeing as he was in need of proper rest, they ended up planning to spend the night at the Wheeler house. An offer Nancy gave to you as well when she noticed you might want to figure out a way to cover up most of the bruising and cuts on your face. But after thinking it over, you knew you’d be better off sleeping in your own bed.

 You offered Max a ride back home and Steve a ride to his car by the tracks. That way no cars could be written off as stolen if Billy decided to report anything. Max was more than glad to end her night. She’d have some bit of trouble when she got home, but hopefully the plan you guys came up with would help her. 

 After saying goodnight to Max, and making sure she got back inside, you stepped back towards the car. Peeking out onto the road to see if Steve’s car was approaching. He had been behind you guys a little back, but he must have reached a red light along the way. Moving to lean against the car, you smiled a bit to yourself. Thinking about how crazy the past twenty-four hours have been. 

 “Give me back my car keys, bitch.” 

 You let out a soft gasp at the sudden sound of a deep voice. Coming up from across the street was a sweaty, disgruntled looking Billy. Holding his hand out to you as he marched over. 

 “I don’t have them.” you frowned, keeping your voice leveled. “They’re with Max. Inside.”

 He groaned at that, moving over to slide against the car. “Great, just fucking great.” he gritted, wiping his hands over his face. “As if my night could not get any worse.” 

 When you don’t reply to his whining. He pulled his hands down to peek over. You don’t look back at him, despite feeling his gaze. All you do is keep your face towards the road. Knowing better than to give him attention. But with Billy, it wasn’t long for him to get under your skin again.

 “Your eye,” he pointed slowly. “I did that..huh?”

 The light tone in his voice has you snapping your head in his direction. He has the gull to talk so nonchalantly about it. Like what happened was in any way normal. But when you finally meet his gaze, you’re met with a small glare instead of the gloating smirk you’re so used to.

 “I guess the old man taught me well, huh?” He chuckled tilting his head while he looked at your face better. 

 “If you’re looking for sympathy, Billy, I’m going to tell you right where you can shove it.” 

 He laughed a bit, clapping his hand in mock amusement before he crossed his arms. “I wouldn’t expect sympathy from you. Not for a while now.” 

 “Good, then we’re on the same page.” you sighed, rubbing your hand against your forehead. “Look, I already told you where your keys are. Just go inside the house and leave me alone. Ple-“ 

 “I love you.” He said suddenly. 

 You become frozen in place. Unable to move at all as you repeat the words back in your mind. The words you had spent months hop- Is he serious right now? 

 “Yes, I am serious.” He answered. You didn’t realize you had said that part out loud. 

 Dropping your hand, you face him again. “Is that really the three words you want to say to me? No, I am sorry, I’m an asshole, I should leave? None of those came to mind right now?” You scoffed, pushing yourself off the car. “I mean, seriously Billy. What the hell?”

 “I’m just being honest.” He shrugged. “Blame whatever it is that punk stuck in my neck. It’s a killer high but I sure as hell can’t stop my mouth from talking.”

 “Well, play the honesty game with someone else. Because I don’t give a shit if you love me or not. I want nothing to do with you.” Again you peered down the road waiting to see Steve. But this time it caught Billy’s attention too and he laughed behind you, sounding more sarcastic like usual.

 “He’s never gonna be over her, you know?”

 “What are you talking about?” you called out over your shoulder. 

 “Harrington.” he spat, harshly enough that you could feel the name hit you from a few steps away. “He’ll never get over Wheeler. It’s that first love shit that chicks are so keen for. He’ll never get away from that feeling. Trust me, I’d know.” He leaned in closer to you, reaching out to touch the back of your arm but you snatched it away quickly. Earning a hard sigh from him as he continued on. “So if you think for a second he’s gonna pick you..then you’re not as smart as I remembered.”

 “I don’t care if he picks me or not.” you lied, knowing full well by now there was something about Steve you needed to explore. “I’m happy knowing that whatever I have with you is over for good.”

 “God, you sound pathetic. What happened to the girl who nearly crashed my car just to get me back?”

 Turning around, you extend your hand out to throw a slap against Billy’s cheek. His head snapped to the side instantly. From your spot you can tell the hit was harder than he could have expected as he adjusted his jaw from the pain.

 The action is so violent that you silently curse yourself for stooping so low. But a part of you that’s so angry, so hurt, can’t help but feel a bit of pride for having hit him back. You keep your face in a stern glare as you poked a finger to his chest. “She’s gone. Okay?” The breath in your voice is heavy, and wavered. You hate that he brought out this fear from you. “Do me a favor and please listen to Max. Leave me alone!”

 A car horn honked loudly from down the street. Making the two of you step back from each other as the vehicle approached the side of the car. You barely looked down at the burgundy paint before Steve hopped out of his car, going around until he was able to reach you.

 “God, you just won’t quit.” he scoffed at Billy, putting you to stand behind him. 

 Billy sized up to Steve. Giving him a look over for a moment. You think he’s going to say something stupid to Steve. Instigate the poor guy into another fight. But all Billy does is hold up his hands in defeat. Throwing the two of you a bright white smile as he backed away.

 “Have fun with my leftovers, Harrington.” he said, moving towards his house. Looking over at you one more time, he gave off a smaller smile. Making your stomach turn as he called out to you one last time. 

 “Remember what I said, babydoll. Remember.”

 Steve turned around to face you, pulling you into a tight hug as he apologized over and over for getting caught behind a couple of red lights. All you can focus on is the warmth you feel from his arms around you. 

 “Are you okay?” he asked softly, pulling back to look down at your face. Lifting a hand up, he cupped the side of your cheek to gently get you to look at him. The gesture is so delicate and sweet that you can’t help but feel the emotions overwhelm you. 

 “Can we just leave? I want to go home.” you whimpered, feeling your lip quiver as you tried to hold back tears. “I just want to go home.”

 “Yeah, honey.” Steve sighed, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

  The drive back to yours feels oddly similar to last year. Steve is trying to hold up a conversation, but you can’t help but reel in what happened over the events of today. Of the whole week in fact. Despite Billy being a huge asshole, who you knew you hated, he wasn’t ever one to lie. 

 So if he’s noticed something in Steve and told you before you got too deep. Maybe it was a bizarre sign that you read the day wrong. 

 The sound of the gravel underneath the car alerts you of your driveway. The lights inside are off and you’re thankful you’ll be hopefully able to get in without fully having to talk to your Aunt. For the most part, she figured you were out having a long day with friends and would be coming in late after you dropped off Dustin at the Wheelers. At least that’s what you told her on the phone.

 Steve put the car in park before he killed the engine. The swelling on his face had gone down significantly, and he was able to wash most of the blood from his face when you guys had gone back to the Byers’ home. But the bruising around his eyes was still evident. 

 “I’m sorry.” you blurted out, feeling overwhelmingly guilty.  “I feel like I’ve been the reason you’ve been getting hurt all day.”

 He looked down at his lap, smiling sadly before he shrugged his shoulders. “It’s funny, I was gonna say the same thing.” 

 You frown at that, wondering just when Steve could have possibly put you in danger when he was always the first one to step in for everyone. “Steve, all you’ve done tonight is stick up for me. For all of us..you’re the only reason why everyone is safe.”

 In the dark you can tell the words have him taken back, almost blushing through the blue moon light that seeped in through the windows. But he still shook his head. “If I had fought better..”

 “He hit you with a glass plate. I don’t think that’s necessarily skill.”

 “If I had fought better,” he repeated. “You wouldn’t have had to come in and help me.” Looking over, he reached out to graze the side of your face. The swelling of your eye was gone, but you know it must have looked just as dark as the ones he wore. “This shouldn’t have happened to you.”

 “Then put the blame on the asshole that did it. Not yourself.”

 He closed his eyes, letting his head sag forward as he chuckled to himself. “You aren’t going to let me win this are you?”

 “Nope.”you smiled. “And you better get used to it for the future. Because I’m pretty good at always being right.”

 “Future?” He asked, looking a little surprised. “So there’s a future between the two of us?”

 You hate that you let that bit slip out. Not only were you not ready for that kind of talk. But now Steve might have an idea that sort of thing was on your mind. Which again you hate because boys having any sort of insight on your mind usually ends badly. 

 But Steve’s proving to be different. He’s kinder with that information. Instead of teasing you for it like you would have, he instead leaned in so that he could hold your face between his hands. Touching you with such a gentleness. 

 “Do you.. maybe like the sound of that?” You asked, holding in your breath. 

 You watch a content smile spread over his lips. Making your heartbeat jump a little fast inside your chest. Even bruised and broken all over Steve still managed to have a sort of beauty to his face. Something you wished you had better control over since it had you practically gawking at him. Now you remembered suddenly why people at school had been staring so much when you first arrived. 

 “That depends.” He finally said. 

 “On what?” 

 “If your feelings have changed since we kissed.”

 You duck your head down shyly. The reminder of your actions felt a little bit haunting but he didn’t seem to think that way. He’s smiling. Pulling you in closer so that he can rest his forehead against yours. 

 “I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss.” He whispered softly, fanning his breath. There’s a subtle lingering smell of mint and you smile to yourself imagining him stealing a bit of the Byers mouthwash. 

 “I just forced myself on you. It wasn’t right to kiss you like that.” You said honestly. “But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it was on the back of my mind.”

 “Then how should you have kissed me?” 

 Moving your head back a bit, you look over at Steve’s face. Noting the smile is gone. Replaced with a look you feel you’ve seen before. It has you moving without thinking and you find your hands have crawled up from your lap to the front of his chest. 

 “I would have given you time to notice what I’m doing by moving my hands here.” One hand stayed on his chest while you slid up the other cup the back of his neck, allowing you to rake your fingers in the nape of his hair. 

 “And then?” He shuddered, enjoying the light grazing. 

 “I would have leaned in close,” you said, angling your head up like before. His nose brushed against yours as you kept your lips hovering over his. “Like this.” 

 “And t-then?”

 “I’d ask you to kiss me.”

 He ran his hands down to rest against your waist. The center console makes it a little hard for you two to get closer. But he’s still attempting to pull you in. “So ask it.” He requested. “Ask me now.”

 “Kiss me?” 

 The words barely left your lips before he crashed his mouth against yours. The slight pressure of his force caused you to wince a bit, but you ignored it in favor of enjoying the taste of his lips. 

 It’s insane how despite having kissed him twice, it felt amazing and new every time. But this time comes with a different feeling. The first was Steve kissing you because you both were upset and he wanted to convince you that there was something there. 

 The second was you selfishly needing to give him a kiss for your own sake. To have him know that you did in fact feel something. 

 But now? Now it was filled with something you haven’t felt in a while; desire. 

 “Come here.” Steve said, pulling back for air. His voice was thick and hot, making you nod your head quickly while you watched him move back against his seat. He reached down the side of his chair to pull on the lever, making the back of the seat go down enough that you’re able to climb on top of him comfortably. 

 His hand rubbed up from the sides of your thighs until he was able to rest them on your hips. Squeezing lightly as you leaned down to press your lips against his. The position allowed the two of you to angle your faces better, careful not to press too much better in the bruises that adorned both your faces. 

 Cupping at his neck, you place kisses gently against his lips before trailing down his neck, giving small bites to the sensitive skin below his ear. This excited Steve, not only causing him to let out a moan, but to create enough excitement that you could feel a small bump in his groin forming.

 “God,” he whispered, his hot breath hitting your ear. It made you shiver on top of him, and created a flush in your body that had you pull back to shed off your jacket. He looked up at you curiously before he grazed his hands up to go beneath your shirt, tickling the skin around your waist. “You’re beautiful.”

 A new flush of heat goes over your face now and you bite down on your lip to keep yourself from grinning like an idiot. He reached his hand up from your side to tug at your bottom lip with his thumb. Letting him graze over the skin with his pad before he cupped at the side of your neck, bringing your back down. Parting your lips, he grazed his tongue against yours before sliding inside. 

 Your fingers find their way to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up a bit so that you’re able to scratch your nails against the waistband of his jeans. Without thinking, you quickly undo his belt, and then his pants. Both of your breaths have gotten heavier and you only have a second to catch it as you stopped right at the waist line of his boxers.

 “We don’t have to do anything..” he said softly, gathering your hair together so he could get it away from your face. “We can just kiss or whatever feels good, baby.”

 His comforting words do something to you and you go forward to roughly press your lips against his. Letting your hand stay in between the two of you and tugged down the front of his boxers. Exposing his hardened cock. 

 He groaned against your mouth, moving his hands now to snake inside your shirt, going under the wire of your bra so that he could cup at the round of your breast. The touch to the sensitive skin as you gasp against his lips. 

 Leaning back, you tug down his boxers even more, letting his cock spring out and fall against his stomach, looking red and swollen from the built up pressure. You swallow a bit, feeling the familiar dip of excitement go from your stomach to your core.

 Steve looked up at you with a small smirk, amused by your sudden reaction before he reached out to your pants. Undoing the button slowly before he tugged down the zipper. “Come here, pretty girl.” he coaxed, tugging you to come back down. 

 The pet name has your head nearly spinning. You rise up a bit, pushing the rest of your pants down until you awkwardly get one leg free. It’s a weird look, but neither one of you cares as you laid a leg back over him. He reached down between you, rubbing a hand up from your bare leg until he reached the hemline of your underwear. Allowing only his finger tips to dip inside the edge before he glanced up at you. Silently asking for permission with a brow raised. 

 You nodded your head quickly, reaching a hand to grip onto his as you pushed it higher. The tip of his thumb barely brushed against your clit when you suddenly let out a moan. It’s been quite some time since you’ve last done this and you’re embarrassed to be so needy from just one touch.

 Using the palm of his hand, he rubbed in a circular motion against your clit, earning another moan from you as the pleasure swept over your whole body. The car’s air is hot and musky, and it makes you feel even more light headed as Steve continues the circulation, wanting to reach you to your edge. 

 Placing your hand on top of his, you thrust upward a bit, using his hand to help get you in the direction of the right speed. “Don’t stop.” you pleaded, digging your nails into his arm. He switched down from his palm to his thumb, rubbing the pad quicker the more he noticed your moans were getting louder. 

 Your eyes snapped shut and you threw your head back as much as you could. Feeling the wave of an orgasm making its way up your body until you’re final there. Gasping some air as you freeze in place. Letting the climax wash over you. “Fuck!” you cried out, curling forward onto his chest. You can’t help but moan again when he continues rubbing your clit, playing with the sensitive bud. 

 “You make the prettiest sounds.” He murmured to you as he slowly pulled his hand away, rubbing a hand down your thigh.

 Lifting yourself up a bit, you reached down between the two of you to grab hold of his cock, gripping the base a bit as you jerked him off for a second. His lips parted open, emitting a loud moan as he hung his head back against the seat. It would seem you weren’t the only one making pretty little moaning noises. 

 You give his cock a few more good strokes before leaning up a bit. Steve lifted his head up, looking down between you two before he pushed your underwear to the side, allowing you to push the head of his cock inside your pussy. 

 The sudden desire to have him fill you up causes you to go a little crazy, and despite his slight warning to his size, you continued to go down as far as you could, groaning at the sudden heat inside you. It has your brain going dizzy, but he’s quick to help relax you, pressing kisses along the side of your face and neck until you’re comfortable again. 

 “You’re so tight,” he gritted, hands down to your hips. He used a light pressure to thrust upward, fully bottoming out underneath you. “God, you’re so tight.”

 For a second, you rest on top of him, allowing your heart rate to calm a bit before you look down at Steve. The way he’s looking at you reminds you of your dream the other day.

 “Are you still with me?” he asked, softly, leaning up a bit to reach you. 

 “I’m with you.” you nodded. He smiled back at you and leaned forward to press his lips back against yours, moving his hands to your hips and helped create a bouncing friction. It made your thighs slap against his lap, battling with the slight slick noise that came from every thrust of his cock. 

 You let out a small cry, bouncing on top of him as he attempted to thrust up from his angle. The pressure inside you builds up again and from the way you could feel your pussy spasming, you know the grip around his cock is doing wonders for him.

 The bounce has the car creaking a bit, making you extremely grateful for not only your long driveway away from the neighbors but also the fact that it was late into the night. 

 “Fuck, Baby. You’re taking me so good. So damn good.” he groaned, hands nearly bruising your hips as he used your bouncing to match his thrusts. “Taking all of me.”

 Hearing these kinds of words from Steve is making you more turned on than you thought. Dropping your head against his forehead, you rolled your hips, trying to control your orgasm that’s dying to come again. “Fuck, Steve. I’m so close.” you whimpered, feeling his thrusts turn faster and more erratic.

 “Me too, honey. Fuck, keep doing that.”

 Wrapping an arm around his neck, you hold him close to your body, rolling faster to meet his thrusts. You feel him bite down on your shoulder, holding back himself before he moves one of his hands between you again to rub his thumb at your clit.

 That’s all that was needed before your body tightened up again, rising up to the climax, and finally spreading the familiar feeling of ecstasy over you again. Steve was not long after, calling out your name in a chant as he continued to fuck upward, chasing his release until he was finished. 

 The car’s movement stopped and the only sounds left are the panting breaths of you and Steve as you both tried to calm down. Steve wrapped his arms around you, pulling you down against the seat once more so that you can rest on top of him.

 He gently reached down to help pull himself out of you, making you whimper at the sudden change of pressure. Rubbing his hand gently across your back, he shushed you soothingly, keeping you close to him.

 Your face feels hot again, and this time it’s from the realization of what you’ve just done. You just slept with Steve Harrington and you feel good. Like genuinely good for once. 

 “I can’t believe we just did that..” you said softly, shyly looking up at him. The look on his face is unexpecting. Instead of the same feeling of sentiments as you, he’s suddenly solemn. Like he was just given sad news.

 “Steve? Are you oka-”

 “We shouldn’t have done this,” he interrupted.

 “..What?”

 He carefully sat up, pushing you a bit so that you could lean against the front wheel a little as he fixed the back of the chair up. “I shouldn’t have done this..especially to you.” 

 You think the world could hear the sound of your heart breaking apart. But you foolishly push that thought away.  “I don’t..I don’t understand..you didn’t want this?” you said slowly. Trying to piece together what he meant. 

 Awkwardly, you climb off his lap to go back into your seat. Shoving your foot back into your pants and buttoning them up quickly. Steve stuffed himself back in his jeans, frowning down at his lap as he sighed to himself.

 “I’m sorry. I’m just..I’m not good right now.” 

 You can’t help but feel the glare return on your face. All this time he felt different and he waited until after he was done fucking you to suddenly change his mind? “So you just use me-”

 “I’m not using you. Please,” he pleaded looking at you. “God, this is so messed up. I promise..just..” His hand reached out to you, squeezing at yours before he let go to grip the wheel. “Tonight was a lot..I just..need to get home and..think.”

 You’re silent for a second. The usual part of you, the angry girl who’s quick to put people down with venomous words wants to attack him. Make him feel as shitty as you do. But she can’t come out right now, not with how much your heart hurts. So instead of the fight, you take flight. 

 “Have fun with your thinking.” you croaked, grabbing your jacket. Steve called out to your name, attempting to reach over for you again but you quickly shot out of his car. You don’t even bother to close the door behind you as you rush inside your home. 

 The sound of a slam and the car starting came through the door. It’s then that you finally allow the tears to fall. Again, Steve Harrington has left you feeling things you wished you hadn’t. And unfortunately, you don’t think the shower calling you will help wash them away.

  ONE MONTH LATER

 It’s thankfully a good few weeks before you’re forced to run into him again. You had hidden up your scars and bruises from your Aunt, but not your broken heart. She comes through with her kindness, giving you a good few days at home to dwell in your feelings. But not long after your break from the world, you’re getting a phone call from an old friend. 

 And after a small word of convincing, you found yourself at the funeral for Barb.

 Nancy appreciated the gesture from you, even if you didn’t know her friend very well. But you were mostly there for your own small atonement. You couldn’t deny that deep down, even a year later, that you wished you maybe tried just a little bit harder to convince the girl to leave. But you didn’t dwell on it, and instead, silently paid your respects behind the mourning loved ones. 

 Steve arrived just before the sermon, taking place just off the side. He kept his head low, looking down at the casket. A part of you thought to leave, but the other part remembered how he reacted to what Nancy had said. Blaming him for Barb’s death. He was here to pay his respects and he was alone. So, it wasn’t long before you had moved over and laced your hand with his. Ignoring the pain that you were feeling from the other night to just be there and mourn with him. He squeezed back quickly, a silent thank you.

 But as soon as the final prayer was over, you were quick to part ways. Ignoring the look from his brown eyes as you followed behind Jonahtan and Nancy to his car. They’re kind enough not to ask right away why you’ve suddenly given Steve the cold shoulder and take you home.

 It’s a little while after that you finally run into Steve once again.

 “Allright,” you sighed, putting your Aunt’s car in park. “I’ll be sticking around for you. So don’t worry about having to call back home.” 

 You turned your head over to Max, watching as she tugged down the hem of her shirt once again while she glanced over at the school gym. Reaching over, you placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her direction back to you.

 “What are you gonna do if one of the dorks actually plucks the courage to ask you for a dance?”

 Max smirked a little, thinking it over. “I’m gonna tease them, watch them squirm..”

 “And then?”

 “And then I say yes.”

 Grinning, you reached over and pulled her into a quick hug, rubbing her back gently before nodding your head to her. “Exactly. Though if my guess is right, the certain boy you have an eye on would follow you around all night. Dancing or not.”

 A small hue of red flushed over Max’s cheeks and she pushed you affectionately before she unbuckled her seat belt. “Are you sure you wanna wait all night for me? I don’t want you to get bored.” she said, opening the door slowly. 

 “All night? Max, the dance ends at nine-thirty. Enjoy your long night of a solid two and a half hours.” She rolled her eyes, stepping out of the car before she looked back in. “I’ll be fine, Red. Go have some fun. Please.” 

 The girl nodded her head in approval before finally sending you off, letting you drive past a couple of parents, including Joyce and Hopper. The older man gave you a pointed look as you gave off an over friendly smile.

 Putting your car into park, you reached for the familiar tweed Chanel jacket that Steve had given you. Feeling oddly in the mood to wear it. Stepping out of the car, you carefully climbed onto the hood of the car, careful not to bang it up as you stared up at the starry sky.

 “You look a little underdressed for the dance.” Said a voice suddenly. You don’t have to look over to know who it was. 

 “I’m afraid I’m just the driver tonight. No chaperoning for me.”

 Moving over, you listened out for the sound of Steve joining you on top of the car. Putting himself awfully close as he mimicked your position. A bit of his cologne flooded your senses and you tried to focus your breathing to keep your sanity. 

 There’s no real way to address what happened the other day, and you know you should be upset with him. And you are, to a point. But after everything that’s happened and all that you guys have gone through. You’re finding it hard in yourself to just go back to being harsh again. 

 “I tried calling..” he said eventually, breaking the silence first. “And I mean, really tried.” Looking over at him you find him frowning with his lips pursed. Like he’s struggling to pick the right words. “I had the phone in my hand, ready to dial. But every time I thought to call, I just couldn’t help but remember the look on your face.”

 You bit down on your lip, forcing yourself to stare up again. That night did not go the way you had hoped. The memory brought a pain to your chest. “If you wanted to call to remind me how you feel, I’m glad you didn’t.” you scoffed, feeling your guard go up. It was too pathetic to feel this weak about anyone. Let alone let them know they made you feel this way.

 “Don’t do that.” Steve sighed. “Don’t shut me out just yet. I’m sorry. I just- I just wanna explain myself better than how I did.”

 “I get the picture pretty clear, Steve. You regret sleeping with me and don’t want to do anything with me because you still love Nancy.” You turn over quickly, carefully sliding off the car so that you can get away from being so close to him. The cold air sent a chill up your spine. “I won’t tell anyone about us.” 

 Steve let out a groan, covering his face with his hands before he followed you off the car. “That’s the thing. I don’t regret it. None of it. Not the sex, not the kiss, not the day, not even the night before. I wanted all of that.” He reached out to pick up your chin, making you look him in the eye. “My only regret is that I didn’t give us a good time to recover from the other shit we just went through. Well, that and also hurting you again.”

 You can’t help but frown, confused once again. “But you said we shouldn’t have..that you shouldn’t have done it..how am I supposed to take that?”

 “Take it as me being a big idiot?” he chuckled, moving his hand down a bit to cup at your cheek. “I’m so sorry, trouble. I hurt you again and I can’t beat myself enough for that.” Sighing, he dropped his head a bit, keeping his gaze on you. “And I know you should hate me, but I’m selfish with you and can’t let you go again. I’m just-..I’m just a guy who doesn’t know what girl would truly like him, let alone a girl like you.”

 “But I do like you..”

 “I know.” Smiling sadly, he rubbed his thumb at the apple of your cheek, making you rub into his palm. “I like you too. But maybe we don’t really know. Maybe we both need some time before we figure out all that?” 

 “Time?” you asked softly, looking at him worriedly. Was he wanting time to figure out if he liked you? Or waiting to see if you’d change your mind? 

 Sensing your inner dilemma, Steve leaned forward to place a kiss against your forehead. “I can hear you overthinking. I just want you to have time to figure out if what you feel is real, or just the heat of the moment.” 

 The soft sounds of Every Breath You Take by The Police seeped through the gymnasium. Reminding you of where you two were currently discussing what felt like the world’s biggest problem right now.

 “Do you need time?” 

 He leaned back, looking down at you with a sad smile before he shook his head. “No. But I probably should take some time too.” Carefully, he moved the two of you around so that he could wrap your hands around his neck, allowing him to place his hands on your hips. Slowly, he swayed the two of you to match the music. 

 You moved to rest your head against his chest, feeling the sounds of his heartbeat through his sweater. It was quick and even, making you smile a bit to yourself. “So what happens now?” you whispered.

 He mused the question to himself, letting the music be the only noise for a second. “Friends,” he said finally. “I’d like us to be friends finally. If you can forgive me and my shitty timing.”Something so innocent as friendship seemed like too simple of a request. But you’d be lying if it didn’t make your chest lighten up from the aching feeling. 

 The two of you continue to sway to the music quietly. Allowing for you to dive into the thought process of what you wanted to do. Would being friends work out with Steve? What if he was right in things having only been because of the heat of the moment? Did you want to look at Steve differently after this? Or would this jump into friendship be the actual thing you two needed?

 As the song slowly came to an end, you pulled yourself back a bit, still wrapped around Steve but enough so that you’re still able to look up at him. You were starting to think it was going to be a common thing to see his looks underneath the moonlight. 

 “Okay, let’s try friends.” 

 A small smile tugged at his lips and before he could control himself, he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your lips. For a moment you reveled in the taste of his lips before you both suddenly remembered what you just agreed on being. Pulling back to shyly look at each other.

 “Sorry.” Steve muttered, his face was pink and glowing. You could only imagine how flushed you must have looked from the kiss. But instead of focusing on that, Steve gently reached over and pushed your head to rest against his chest again. 

 “Let’s just keep dancing.” you suggested. 

 “Yeah,” Steve agreed, wrapping his arms tighter around you now. Nodding your head, you happily close your eyes and sway to the music. Keeping your smile hidden away from Steve’s gaze. 

 “Just keep dancing..”

a/n: AND THAT ENDS SEASON TWO. I know a lot of you might have been hoping these two would have gotten together. And after their little devil’s tango, I wanted to as well. (Also excuse my bad smut, I rarely write it but want to try and get back into it.)

But realistically, I want to follow canon as close as I can before i change things. And the end of season two, especially that night, i feel steve would be kinda messed up mentally. he’s heart broken on top of feeling something with trouble. I assure you though, they will find their way. Maybe during the ✨summer✨

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrignton x you #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things fanfic #smut #angst #dywmb

[thewanderingbutler]

Travis Hackett x Reader: PART 4

As I am writing this I am being attacked by mosquitoes. Out in the boonies. No good wifi. Lots of time to write. Will post when able but will be writing more all week. Thank you for waiting ♥︎.

Also I cannot upload a gif for the beginning since everything is so damn slow - will do so later lol

Click here for: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

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Chapter 4: Looking forward to it

In the distance you see a large sign plastered on the side of the road. Hackett’s Quarry Summer Camp. Officer Hackett turns off the CD player and straightens himself up in his seat. As the car slows he turns onto the dirt road. Wooden pillars mark the entryway. You tilt your head to get a better look at the lettering.

“What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger…” You turn your head to Officer Hackett. “Well…That’s a bit…grim.”

You expect more of a response out of him but you’re only met with a low and drawn out “mhmm”. His halfhearted response, while lacking elaboration, definitely showed that he agreed with your analysis. Pressing your lips together you look out the window, watching the trees pass by. It’s a pretty long drive down to the lodge. Along the way you’re mostly met with shrubbery and light clouds of insects. After a long stretch of driveway the road finally diverts; one way to the lodge, the other to a carpark. The officer continues along the road to the camp. Before you know it you can see the lodge in the distance. The glow of the sun shines down brightly on the campsite. It’s absolutely beautiful. Squinting your eyes you lean towards the dashboard, taking in the entirety of the building. The car slows to a stop. 

“Here we are.” He says, turning off the car. 

The sound of the engine lulls to a stop and you unbuckle yourself. Opening the door you’re met with the cool forest breeze. Your backpack slips over one of your shoulders while the strap to your larger bag rests in your palm. Looking to your right you find that Officer Hackett has made his way to the steps.

“You’re coming in with me?” He stops in his tracks and looks over at you.

“I need to talk with my brother.” 

“Oh-” Before you finish your reply he’s already continued walking up the steps. “Okay…”

So, they ARE brothers.

You hurry up the steps, focusing your gaze on the stairs in front of you. Reaching the top you find Officer Hackett waiting for you. While panting slightly you make out a quick smile. He turns towards the door and opens it. The big wooden doors creak as they’re opened, echoing inside the empty building. Officer Hackett walks in first but keeps his hand on the door for you. Once you’re through he takes his hand off, letting it close shut. Your eyes take time to adjust to the dark interior. The inside is massive. Lots of wooden tables and benches line the main area. There are at least two main staircases leading up to another level. You can’t help but crane your neck upwards to look at it all. A bit of pain shoots through your neck causing you to wince.

Oh, right. Whiplash. 

The sound of footsteps descend from the nearest staircase. You’re met with boots and khaki shorts, slowly leading up to a man in a collared shirt the same colour as the rest of his beige outfit. He looks exactly how you’d expect a camp counsellor to look like. 

“Travis,” He says with surprise. “What are you doing here?” 

His eyes pan back-and-forth in-between the two of you. You look at Officer Hackett.

So that’s his name. Travis.

“I picked up one of your counsellors last night,” he looks straight at Chris, “after she got into a car wreck”.

Chris looks back at you in alarm. His expression shows concern. Something about the way he surveys you gives the implication he wasn’t just nervous about the wreck. 

“Are you okay?” He turns back to Travis. “Where did she crash? Was she… hurt?” 

It’s funny how he’s asking him but not you. You keep out of their conversation nonetheless. 

“Nah. Just a bit of whiplash. Right?” Travis nods towards you.

“R-Right! I’m all good after a night of rest” you say under the scrutiny of their gazes.

“She was ran off by something. Around the fenced off area.”

“That far out huh…” Chris scratches his head and the lodge falls into silence.

There’s a tension in the air so thick that you feel as if you could cut it with a knife. The two men just stare at each other. Despite their seemingly normal conversation, it almost feels as if they’re discussing something other entirely. Maybe it’s a Hackett sibling thing.

“Well… I’m glad things are okay.” Chris sighs. “Remind me, you are…” he says, wagging a finger in your direction.

“(Y/N).” 

He snaps his fingers. “Right right right. It’s gonna take me a while to remember everyone’s names.” He says in a light, jokey tone. 

He’s definitely more bright and bubbly than his brother, that’s for sure. You smile back, looking over at Travis. He’s fixated on you, head slightly tilt. He looks away when you make eye contact. 

I guess I never told him my name either…

“I don’t blame you Mr. H,” you turn back to Chris, “We’ve only talked over phone interviews anyhow.” You try and match his bubbly personality.

“Ah, well that’s good.” He lets out an exasperated laugh and looks again at his brother. “Why don’t we talk in my office T?”

“Sure.” Travis replies.

“(Y/N) you can, uh, take a seat on one of the benches until I get back.” He motions towards the many seating arrangements.

“Sounds good.” The two siblings start walking across the room. “Oh- and,” you switch the pressure from one foot to the next, tilting in their direction. “Thank you again for all your help…Travis.” You say while smiling coyly at him.

“You, (Y/N),” he says pointing his finger, “can call me Sheriff Hackett.” 

“Yes sir.” You give a nonchalant army wave.

You both give each other knowing smiles and the two head off. he two of them soon disappear from your sight. Their conversation silent behind the closed door.

You trudge over to a table by the large fireplace. You reach into your backpack and take out your phone. To think, all the stuff you’ve been through and it’s only 7:50am. In the top left corner of your phone where the cell service bars are usually located is “no service” in small text. 

Of course there’s no service. I’m in the middle of nowhere. 

You rub your eyes and place your arms and head on the table, your phone resting to the side. Not long passes before you hear the main door open. Someone has just walked in. The light from the outside highlights the outline of the person. They’re tall in stature and have… short hair? They stretch their arms, revealing their long limbs. Just then the door closes and you can see them a bit better. As they begin to walk into the lodge you turn your head, trying to act like you haven’t been watching them. 

“Oh….uh…. Hi.” 

Their voice is deep and monotone, but you can hear a hint of surprise. You look up, trying to act surprised too.

“Oh, hi.” Standing up you reach out your hand. “I’m (Y/N), I use she/her pronouns”.

“Ryan. He/him.” He lazily shakes your hand. “Is… Chris, I mean, Mr. H around?”

“Yeah he is.” You motion towards the office door. “He’s just talking to his brother right now.”

“Ah.” He says, setting down his bag. “Are you a counsellor too...?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Cool…” his voice trails off, leaving you both in silence.

You motion to the bench across from you. “You can take a seat if you’d like.” 

He tentatively smiles and sits. Despite being so tall he’s got a quiet demeanour about him. His headphones lay across his chest over his shirt. The logo on his shirt is hard to make out in the dark but you can tell it looks badass. Despite the summer weather he’s dressed in all black. I mean, you aren’t gonna judge, most of your stuff isn’t the most colourful either. Right after Ryan sat down the door to the office opens and the two men walk out. You can hear slight bickering coming from both of them.

Yup, definitely siblings.

“Ryan!” Chris says with his arm stretched out, cutting off his brother mid-sentence.

“Yo, Mr. H!” 

Ryan takes Chris’s hand and leans in for a side hug. Pulling apart from each other Chris pats him on the shoulder.

“How have you been!” 

They immediately delve into conversation. 

I guess they must know each other well.

Chris waves off his brother and Travis waves back. Making eye-contact with you Travis motions towards the door. Standing up you scoot your legs from under the bench and make your way over. 

“I’ve told Chris about your car. He said he’ll have his son take a look at it for you.”

“Great, yeah, that sounds good.”

You stand next to each other for a second. The background noise of Chris and Ryan chattering on behind you. Travis presses his lips together slightly, looking at the door and then back at you.

“Good. Well. Goodbye.”

He used that formal police man tone. You have a sense he's gonna bolt out the door.

“Sheriff,” you tilt your head slightly, “Thanks for dropping me off.”

His hand is already on the door handle.

“You’re welcome. Enjoy your summer.”

Opening the door you take it from him and hold it, like he has done so much for you these past few hours. The sounds of the forest filter in through the door. The Sheriff walks down the stairs, getting further and further away. A burst of courage runs through your body. You angle yourself slightly in the door frame.

“I’ll repay you one day!” You yell, loud enough probably for the whole damn forest to hear. 

Without looking back he holds one arm in the air, semi-waving.

“Looking forward to it!”

The edges of your mouth turn upward into a smile. Closing the door you cut off the outside noise, leaving only the sound coming from Ryan and Mr. H’s conversation.

You take a few steps to your side, peering out the window. Travis gets into his vehicle and drives down the road. The taillights wash away in the distance. Honestly, you kind of miss him already. You had gotten so used to his company that it’s weird to be without it. You stand for a second before sauntering back to your bags.

“(Y/N),” You prick your head up towards Mr. H, “why don’t I show you the cabins. Both you and Ryan could use the rest.”

“Sounds great.”

Rustling your phone back in your bag you carry your things to the door. Descending the stairs Mr. H jangles some keys in his hand. To the side of the cabin he takes off a plastic tarp, unveiling a golf cart. Ryan puts his stuff in the back and you follow suit. 

“Ryan, you sit in the back.”

“Aight.” Ryan says without hesitation.

You walk around the cart and sit beside Mr. H. Ryan plops down on the semi-seat, facing the rear of the vehicle. The back of his head facing you and Mr. H. The little vehicle starts up quickly and starts moving just as fast. You balance yourself by holding onto the seat. Both Mr. H and Ryan seem relaxed despite the bumpy trip. The land is absolutely gorgeous. From the lodge down to the trail you can see where the water glistens in the distance. You’ve seen Hackett’s quarry summer camp in pictures but it’s even more magical in person. Mr. H swerves to avoid hitting a root and you sway from side to side. Little log cabins start to come into view. 

“And here we are, The Cabins.” Mr. H says in a tour-guide voice. 

“Woo” Ryan says teasingly.

Chris reaches behind him and flicks Ryan’s head playfully.

“Hey!” He says in that monotone voice of his.

They’re both smiling and you can’t help but giggle. The golf cart slows to a stop by a large building with a pool next to it.

“Alright, let’s walk from here.” Mr. H says as he swings his feet to the side. 

Saddling on your backpack Ryan hands you your other bag.

“Thanks.” You grab it from him.

“Don’t mention it.” 

The three of you walk towards the cabins. 

“So.” Mr. H points. “Here are the boy cabins and those are the girl cabins. (Y/N),” He redirects his hand, “you’re in that one.” 

“Great.” 

You can already feel the day weighing on you. Matching Mr. H’s bubbly tone is getting a little more draining with each reply. The steps creak as you and Mr. H make your way up. The door opens, revealing a few small bunks laid out in a well-cleaned cabin. 

“First come first serve. Pick whichever bunk ya want.” 

“Top left is always best”

You turn around, “Thanks Ryan”. He gives you a thumbs up.

“Well, I’ll let you get some sleep. It’ll probably be awhile before the other counsellors arrive so you make yourself comfortable.”

“Thanks Mr. H.” He nods back at you and closes the door.

You hear their footsteps retreating, crunching on the outside grass. Alone in the cabin you let out a much needed sigh. 

Top Left….

Making your way over you plop down your bags and saddle up into the bunk. As soon as your head hits the pillow you feel your body relax. The mattress is bumpy but it’s also just what you need. Dust particles in the air float around you, reminding you of the precinct. Your eyelids droop. The day flashes back at you, all the things that have happened, everything you’ve done with him. You think of all the moments your hands have grazed or he’s moved a hair from your face. Remembering makes your body run warm. That same comfortable feeling when you’re with him. Before dozing off all you can think of his face. Sheriff Hackett.

No.

Travis.

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Click here for Chapter 5

#travis hackett #travis hackett x reader #ted raimi #the quarry x reader #travis hackett smut #travis hackett x you #reader insert #x reader #the quarry #the quarry game #the quarry x you #supermassive games #harum scarum #fem reader #ted raimi x reader

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Final Week Set A (1/1/24-7/1/24)

Model Used is Tsonghan Wu

Here we are bros. I decided to end it early since I accidentally started the Jockbull summer in like the last month of Spring. So we’ll call this a season. 8 weeks and then onto the next. Additionally, interest largely seem’s to have waned and I wanna focus on giving some more stuff that’ll keep your attention rather than flooding your dashboards lol. These will be my last set of diary write ups. And then next week I'll have a retrospective detailing how things went and what I'm likely to keep

1.

I’ll be straight and real with yall. This was probably the worst week yet lol. Mentally i just wasn’t here. Lots of stress and strain. I do have a new workout structure, that includes AMRAP pushups near the end. Diamond push ups that really tire you out by the time you finish all your other training, but its not quite the same or for the same purpose. I tried to sort my time table so that Pushups were combined with the times i wanted to work on my PT cert early in the day. But that has yet to really work out.

2.

Keeping with the smite idea from previous weeks I managed to go on a 3 game win-streak. Total ez streak, possibly because my Elo was reset from not playing in such a long time. But dunking is still dunking and you still get the mental endorphin rush from winning. Only thing that broke the streak is that my Duos partner (yet another Muscle brained Gym bro that i’ve known for years) had to dip mid game. Tragic.

3.

Since this is the last week and its even I didn’t throw anything out. But I am going to have one final push to get some of the last chunks of shitty oversized clothing out of my life. Gonna make an attempt to throw out 4 more pieces of clothing and then the lot will be going to the charity/thrift shop.

4.

I’m good enough at this. I’ll use it more often. And I am 100% going to do that Bro voice file at some point in the future.

5.

There is an episode of Baki where the main character is lying in bed with his girlfriend horny as hell, and they are about to fuck when Baki’s father, Strongest man in the world Yujiro, appears out of the darkness to cheerlead them fucking. And more than cheerlead. This man encourages the most relentless rauchy unending stream of fucking bitches from his 18 year old son. Literally morning noon and night boning down. It sounded like a passage from Alpha breeder. Unbelievable. Why doesn’t this show have more fanart?

6.

A kind of gymbro failure story which makes me sound like a bit of a douche but i also don’t care.

I’m pretty regularly one of the bigger guys in the gym at any given time. Not always. And that’s not really a compliment to me and more of a dunk on the kind of establishment that my gym is. So this one dude has kinda latched onto me as his story for hope cause of all the weight i lost and how much i’ve grown. I think he’s convinced i’m going to give him the secret formula and not just tell him “Just keep training and eat properly.” He came up to me this week and asked if he could come and workout with me another day. Gave some spiel about needing someone to motivate him and keep him going. He’s another immigrant too. So I commiserate with that and I told him sure, even tho i don’t particularly like training push with other people. But then on the day he was supposed to come at the time we had set up he just…didn’t show. Which makes sense. I tried telling him, motivation should be internal. Consistency comes from discipline. But he didn’t want to hear it. And so the outcome made sense. I wasn’t super broken up about it, Just meant i got to train push on my own in peace and quiet.

#jockbull summer #jock #bull #jbs

[lolitaa-17]

Maybe one day you’ll feel what I’ve felt now.

College au! Eren x reader, Jean x Reader

Mentions of drugs (marijuana), angst!?

“You’re special to me.”

It was all bullshit. All the lies I’ve kept up with thinking they were noting but the truth.

-

You snuck a joint to your lips. It was a chilly autumn night. You were stressed out with school and work. All of it just stacking up.

“Didn’t know you were a stoner” Eren made his way to the open swing next to you.

“I’m not, just needed to release some stress” you smiled.

“That’s what all the stoners say” He chuckled.

You offered him the joint and he gladly accept it. You slowly started swinging on the swings while the wind blew against your face.

“How did you know I was here” you asked him watching him take a hit of the joint.

“Not gonna lie, I came up here to smoke a doink” he laughed.

“A doink…Eren shut the fuck up” you laughed along with him.

You two sat in silence for a while after while the joint was just being passed around. Eren would usually join you every time you’d go out to smoke a joint. You enjoyed the company every time though. It never bothered you. What did bother you though was when you’d see him in campus and he would act as if he never met you in his life. Just thinking about it ruined your whole tendency.

“Alright imma dip” you get up from the swing to dap Eren up.

“We haven’t finished the J yet” he says passing you the joint but you decline it.

“Nah I’m good. I’m probably just gonna go grab some food and head back to my dorm” you take a sip of your water.

“Woah and you’re not gonna invite to go grab some grubs with you” he holds onto his chest as if he’s offended.

“Well come on then” you started making your way to your car as Eren followed shortly behind.

“What are you feeling?” you look over at Eren who had already been glued to his phone.

“Fine with whatever” he says paying no mind to what you had been saying.

You started the car and connected your phone to the bluetooth. ‘Will He’ by joji started playing. Shortly after you rolled the windows down and started driving to Sonic.

“So where we gonna go get the grub?” Eren asked as he finally turned his phone off and started rubbing his hands together.

“Sonic” you said as you kept all your attention on the road.

“What’s your major again?” His question that he always ask every time you guys hang out.

“Art” you replied.

“What’s with these one word responses now?” He chuckled.

You stopped at the red light and looked him.

“There’s really nothing much to say about my major it’s pretty self explanatory.” You chuckled and looked at your phone to check if anyone had texted you.

“You’re right my bad” he looks out the window.

You turned your gaze back at the road and continued to drive as the light turned green.

Shortly you two arrived at sonic. You two just ordered what you had been craving at the time and sat in the car waiting for your food.

“This shit about to smack” he says as he use the dashboard as ‘drums’ playing some random beat.

“Y/n…and Eren?” You heard a male voice speak from your side of the window.

“Oh hey jean”

“Can you step out really quick I need to to talk to you” jean says while opening your car door.

“Yeah I got you” you step outside the car and follow behind jean as you two were at a reasonable distance from the car.

“What are you doing with Eren? Kind of a strange duo don’t you think?” He ask leaning against one of the tables.

“I know exactly where this is gonna go, and it’s a no.” You say sitting next to Jean.

“That’s surprising, there’s not one girl I know who’s his little sex toy.” He laughed.

“He’s sweet to hang around with, but we’ve never had a moment where things got weird.” You leaned your head on Jeans shoulder.

“That’s also surprising.”

You and Jean always had an on and off relationship. But it never ended terrible it was just wrong time right person type of deal. In college you feel like having a relationship is not really an option for you.

“You also reek of weed.” He says pushing your head off his shoulder as a joke.

“Shut up” you quickly get up from the table.

“I’m gonna head back to the car, I’ll catch you later” you hugged him before making your way back to your car.

You entered the car to see Eren on his phone.

“He definitely still wants you.” Eren says before looking up from his phone.

“He is my ex and we never ended on bad terms” you chuckled.

“You still have feelings for him?” He asked turning his phone off and fixing his full attention towards you.

“Well yeah obviously just not as much” your phone buzzed taking your attention away from Eren.

Jean:

‘Don’t let him fool you y/n.’

You look up from your phone and see Jean turning off his phone and making his way to his car as he just grabbed his food.

Eren felt a burning sensation in his chest. Seeing you give all your attention to a boy that wasn’t him made him feel some type of way. He never had a problem with any other girl but you.

“So graduating this year from college huh? How do you feel?” He asked you trying to gain your attention back to him.

“I’m excited” you say looking out the window as the food was finally arriving to the car. ‘Thank you’ you say to the worker as you gave her tip.

You passed Eren his food as you started stuffing your face with your own food.

“It’s crazy though, all your friends are juniors and here you are the only senior” he says also stuffing his face with his food.

“Only because of that dumbass high school that moved me up a grade”

“Thats impressive though, nerd” he says moving his arm around your shoulders.

He moves in closer while looking at your lips. “I know you and Jean were talking about me” You kept eating calmly so he didn’t become skeptical.

“Not really…not everything revolves around you pretty boy” you flick his nose.

“He didn’t try to ‘warn you’ from me?” He says looking back and forth from your lips to your eyes.

You nod “He was just asking me about some art project we have due soon.”

“Good” he slowly moves closer to finally meet your lips.

You’d be lying if you said you hated it. His soft pink lips the felt nice. You followed along his rhythm. You shortly pulled away.

“I’m tired that joint was indica.” You laughed as you started the car connected your Bluetooth again. This time ‘So High’ by Doja cat was playing.

Eren kept his gaze on you, he hasn’t said anything ever since you broke the kiss. ‘Why were you so hard to get with?’ He thought to himself. ‘Maybe because you’re still caught up on your ex?’ He thought to himself again.

“Next time we gotta do sativa.” He says finally breaking the silence.

“For sure.”

After a couple minutes you arrived to Eren’s apartment complex.

“It was nice hanging out tonight.” You say parking the car waiting for him to leave.

He grabs your chin as he pulls you towards him. His soft lips were now on yours again. His soft pecks made its way towards your neck as he sucked a bit harder.

“Watch it” you push his head back a bit, you knew exactly what he was trying to do.

You could feel the smirk on his lips. He made his way back up to your lips placing soft gentle kisses on your plump lips. He leaned over to take your seatbelt off. He grabbed your hips signaling you to get on top of his lap.

Maybe you did lie to Jean that nothing weird had ever happened between you guys, but it was for the better. You and Eren had a little thing here and there but you guys never actually had sex, you refused to become one of his many sex toys.

You were now on top of him grinding against his lap feeling his rock solid dick. You moved your lips away towards his neck. You definitely sucked harder than he did. But you didn’t care and he didn’t mind not one bit.

“You don’t know how bad I want to fuck you y/n” he whispered in your ear.

“You already know me Eren” you smirked as you softly pecked his lips once more before returning back to the driver seat.

He scoffed as he pointed toward his dick signaling how hard he was.

“Well you’re home now so you can go take care of that” you winked as you buckled your seatbelt back on.

He chuckled before leaning in to get one more soft peck before exiting the car.

- 2 days later -

“Girl I don’t care I’m always gonna be team Jean” Lin said as she was braiding her hair getting ready to head over to her bfs house.

Your phone buzzed

Eren:

🍃?

“Like how does he tell you he wants to fuck you soooo bad but then walks around the campus like he don’t even know you?” She says finishing up with her hair.

“Yeah that’s what gets me all the time” you say laying down like a starfish on her bed as you responded to Eren.

You:

Too tired to get up.

Eren on the other line smiled at his phone with an idea in his head.

Eren:

Bet.

You were a bit confused by his response but shrugged it off. “So Tony’s tonight?”

“Yeah he wanted to go grab some dinner together then head to his house for the night” lin winked.

You chuckled before getting up from her bed as she got up to start heading out. “Don’t invite any douche bags” she looked at you while prepping her bag.

“Chill I’m not, I’m probably just gonna watch some movies and call it a night” you yawned following her to the front door.

She opens the door revealing Eren who was about to knock. Lin looks at you ‘are you serious’ was written all over her face.

“I didn’t know he was coming” you whispered enough for both of them to hear you.

She rolls her eyes pushing past Eren, “Bye y/n, text me if anything” she emphasized ‘anything’.

Eren looked at you and smiled “anything?”

“What are you doing here?” You ask him letting him in.

He set a bag on the counter taking out all the snacks and drinks “so I heard my little princess was tired to hang out so, I brought you some snacks so we can just chill here.”

“Free snacks I guess” you take the bag of snacks and take them to your room while Eren followed behind.

You two just sat on your bed while smoking another joint. Low music played in the background on your speaker. And there you were again on top of Eren making out with him.

“Y/n please” he whispers.

You removed his shirt as he did the same. You slowly sway your lips back and forth ignoring his words. The breathing between the both of you got heavier. He was now hovering on top of you. Moving his lips down to your stomach leaving soft kisses here and there.

“Eren please” you said stopping as he was trying to remove your shorts.

“Y/n I know you think that once you let me hit I’ll just ghost you, but trust me I won’t. You’re special to me.” He says leaving a soft peck on your lips again.

But that’s exactly what he did.

-

Days passed weeks even and you never heard from Eren. You turned your phone off after you blocked him. You knew exactly where it was gonna lead. You were vulnerable to his touch, it was your fault for even letting him in your dorm that day.

“I told you y/n” Jean say laying beside you.

“I don’t want to hear that right now Jean” you rubbed your face.

Although Jean was your ex, he was also your best friend. He was mad that you and Eren had been messing in the first place but there was nothing he could really do since you two hadn’t been dating.

“Come here” he says opening his arms.

You hugged him tightly as the tears streamed down your face. “I’m so stupid” you whispered.

“Yes you were” Lin says bringing a bowl of popcorn to your room.

“But it’s okay we all make mistakes” she lays down on the opposite side of you and Jean.

-

Eren left some girls room who was in the same building as yours. He dialed your phone number while he stood in front of your dorm room.

Voicemail immediately.

What was he expecting though? He went weeks without speaking to you and he expected you to answer his call?

That night you and him slept together, he whispered all these things in your ears. All these sweet words of affirmation. He never did that to anyone, but only you so it was more believable that you were ‘special to him’.

You really were special to him. But he claimed he just wanted one thing out of this friendship.

A couple minutes passed Jean walked out of your dorm room, which caught Eren by surprise.

Jean noticed Eren standing by the door.

“The hell are you doing here?” Jean asked closing the door behind him quickly.

“I could ask you the same thing” Eren says cocking his head up.

“Listen Eren…you and I aren’t the same. Me and y/n had a past where I gave her everything and loved her, meanwhile you? You just fucked then dipped. So if you think that this is a competition between us …you’re wrong.”

Eren stayed silent while staring at Jean. Jean was right though. Even if Eren tried to win you back the answer to everything will always be Jean.

“You’ve made her miserable these last few weeks. She really thought she could trust you” Jean walked away leaving Eren there.

As soon as Jean was out of sight, Eren knocked on the door. Seconds later Lin answered.

“She’s sleeping what do you want” she says closing the door behind her so he couldn’t catch the glimpse of you sitting on the couch watching some movie but he did see you.

“I know she’s in there and awake. I just want to see her” he says rubbing his neck.

Lin goes back inside. Soon after you walked out.

His eyes soften at the sight of you.

“What is it Eren?” The tone in voice was something Eren never heard, it was soft but harsh at the same time.

He pulls and a blunt and smiles bittersweetly.

You just looked at him.

“I’ve been sober for a while, graduation is around the corner” You say looking into his eyes.

“Yeah sorry” He whispers.

“Listen y/n, everything I said-“

“Was a lie obviously” He looked up at you to see the tears forming in your eyes.

To Eren you had always been a strong person, you rarely cried in front of him or at all. This was the first time he’s seen you cry.

“I know and y/n I really am sor-“

“Don’t apologize Eren, it’s not your fault. It’s mine for even letting anything happen knowing damn well what was going to happen after” you wiped your tears.

His heart ached. The guilt stacking on top him like a bunch of bricks. This relationship he had ruined all because he couldn’t stop thinking with his dick.

“It was nice knowing you during these 3 years” you smiled as the tears stained your cheeks.

And there he was left alone as you made your way back into your dorm room. He knew that meant that you two were never going to be in each others future probably ever.

-

He walked into the venue. Many parents and family were in seats waiting for the ceremony to start. He got a ticket to the graduation to see you once more.

After an hour your name was finally called up. He looked at the big screen to see that big smile you had as you grabbed your diploma and walked toward your seat again. It was the last genuine smile he’d seen from you.

-

He would always go to the same park you two would always meet up at. But this time he would be alone. He rarely hooked up with anyone this year. He was focused on just graduating.

He regretted everything too late. He regretted not taking things serious with you. He regretting ignoring you on school campus. Because now you’re ignoring him. And it hurts like hell. He tried texting you a couple times but the messages he sent were green. He quickly figured out that you had blocked him.

-

“You excited?” Jean says fixing Eren’s tie.

“Yeah” Is all he could mutter.

“Dude you’ve been like this for the whole school year, what’s wrong?” He asked while looking at himself in the mirror after fixing Eren’s tie.

“How it she?” Eren asked Jean.

Jean stopped suddenly figuring out why his demeanor had changed this year.

“She’s been doing really good actually, she’s been doing well with her art and stuff” Jean zipped up his gown.

“She’s actually coming today” he smiles while he put his cap on.

“Did you two get back together?” He asked Jean while zipping up his gown.

“Yeah like 5 months ago” Jean says avoiding eye contact with Eren.

Sometimes Eren wishes he was in Jeans shoes. He was perfect. A perfect boyfriend, a perfect best friend.

Suddenly Jean got a phone call. He walked a bit away from Eren before answering the phone and putting it on speaker since he was still fixing his gown and cap.

“Hey baby” he says.

“Where are youuu! Hurry I want to see how you look!” You heard her voice, the squeakiness in her voice of how impatient she was to see her boyfriend.

You smiled to yourself just thinking about her face.

“Yeah I’m gonna be heading out soon with um Eren” Jean replies.

“Oh okay text me when you guys head out, I’m here with your parents right now.”

Eren’s smile faded, his parents would’ve loved you. The fantasy of you being his girlfriend took over his head. The way he’d be calling you baby and how you’d be begging him to hurry up.

-

The ceremony was long and boring as usual. Eren made his way out the venue along with everyone else.

He looked around to see you and Jean kissing. There it was again, that heart ache he always had whenever he se saw you and Jean together.

He suddenly saw you walking over to him.

“You did it too” You have him a sudden hug which caught him by surprise.

“Y..yeah” he hugged you back, if nobody was around he probably would’ve picked you up and bursted crying but he couldn’t, because you weren’t his, and you never were.

“About the past y/n-“ you back away from the hug and shushed him.

“I don’t keep grudges forever Eren” You laughed. That laugh how much he missed it.

“Yeah? Well you still have me blocked” he chuckled bitterly.

“Sorry I’ve been busy, I’ll unblock you later” you smiled as Jean snaked his hands around you.

“Congratulations though…pretty boy” you flicked his nose once more before heading back to Jean’s family.

All he could do is watch you walk away. He would run after you and grabbed you if he could. But he couldn’t. But at least he knew that you’d always be in minimal contact with him. That’s good enough for him though.

“Now I know how you felt y/n” He whispered as his tears ran down his face.

-

Hey I’ve been gone for such a long time because I literally did not know what to write and because school was kicking my booty 😭😭 I barley passed this year guys trust me. But ayeeee 😛😛 summer breakkkkk.

This was low key rushed but I hope you guys enjoy !

I just reread this and I literally cannot spell..anyway let me know if you guys want an Eren ending 😉.

#jean kirstein #eren yaegar #aot x reader #angst #jean kirschtein x you #eren x y/n #college au #attack on titan

[awkwardauthorwrites]

Roses

Word Count: 2k

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst. Mentions of alcohol. Character death? I don’t want to give it away, but it’s sad.

Authors Note: Listen to the song right here. Previously on awkward-author

Despite the late hour, Y/N could not bring herself to go to sleep. Instead, she sat by the fireplace and stared into the flames while trying hard not to think about the too-large, empty bed that was down the hall waiting for her. 

I waited all night for you to come home; I always hated sleeping alone.

Sam had called a few hours ago from whatever town he had gone to. He urged her to try and get some sleep, but she simply scoffed at his words and threatened to hang up the phone. He filled the call with mindless chatter after that, hoping to distract and eventually lull her to sleep, but here she was, at nearly 3AM, watching the wood in the fireplace crackle as he snored through the speaker on her phone.

With a resigned sigh Y/N unsteadily got to her feet, making sure to pick up the bottle of whiskey next to her as she stumbled towards the kitchen. The empty beer bottles could wait until tomorrow, when the walls weren’t spinning and she didn’t feel the need to projectile vomit across the room. She dropped the bottle onto the kitchen table unceremoniously and clumsily walked over to the sink to fill a glass up with water. Her unclear eyes roamed the room as she waited for the cup to fill, and fell onto the vase of wilting flowers that sat on her windowsill.

Watching the roses wither away, Wishing my memories would die out the same.

They needed changing, she noted through her alcohol induced gaze, tilting her head to the side slightly as she stared at them. The liquid spilled over the rim of the glass, prompting her to shut the tap off before taking long, slow sips of the drink. Her eyes narrowed in on the flowers, focusing intently on the limp, dying, brown edges to the otherwise blood red petals. 

Roses, she decided, were one of the flowers she hated the most, with tulips and frangipani following in a close second, and lilies coming in third. In fact, she was sick of flowers in general at the moment, and her fingers itched to throw out every single bouquet she could find dotted around the house. Grabbing the vase that was taunting her, she quickly threw the flowers into the bin and dropped the vase onto the counter, not caring if she broke the item as it clattered to the floor. With her mind made up, she made her way around the house, wobbling occasionally as she threw out all the flowers she could find. Finally, she held the last bouquet over the bin, hesitating to throw out the colourful bunch of azaleas in her hand. 

Groaning slightly at the headache that was already forming, Y/N dropped the flowers onto the counter and refilled her glass before making her way down the hall, using the wall for support as she shuffled back towards the living room. Water spilled from the glass as she set it down haphazardly on the coffee table and flopped back down on the couch. Curled up into a ball, she tugged the blanket over herself and turned her head to watch the door until she eventually fell asleep.

I waited all night, yeah, you never came.

~*~

“Dean!”

“You know the rules, sweetheart,” he knocked Y/N’s sock-clad feet off the dashboard with a furrowed brow and a scowl. If it weren’t for the grin on his face she would have thought he was annoyed at her. “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole.”

“We’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin for the past five hours,” she groaned and tried to switch the music off, only to be met by Dean’s hand smacking hers away again.

“I thought you liked Zeppelin?” he shot her a teasing smile.

“I do, but after listening to the cassette for a second time it loses some of its appeal.” Y/N feigned rummaging through the cassette box in hopes of distracting him from her wandering hand, only to be foiled once more as Dean clamped his hand over hers and held it down on the bench between them. “Winchester, if you wanted to hold my hand all you had to do was ask,” she shot him a mock glare and tried not to stare as he brought their hands up so he could kiss hers.

“What can I say, sweetheart? I have a hard time keeping my hands to myself when my girl is sprawled out next to me.” Sam pretended to gag from the backseat at his older brother’s honeyed words, but the small smile he was trying to hide let Y/N know he was secretly pleased about the relationship between the two of them. “Also, while we’re on about asking for permission,” Dean continued as if Sam hadn’t interrupted them. “How about you start asking before you steal my shirts?” He tugged at the hem of the flannel shirt Y/N was wearing, earning a chuckle from her.

“Never, they look better on me than they do on you.” A wicked grin was plastered on her face as she leant forward to whisper in his ear. “And anyway, I kinda like wearing your shirts, they’re baggy on me. Means I don’t need to wear anything underneath.” Even if Sam didn’t know – or want to know, for that matter – what Y/N had said, he still laughed loudly with her as they swerved on the thankfully empty road and Dean’s voice filled the car with multiple swears.

I miss the long night under streetlights, When our hearts were made of gold.

“Come and dance with me?” Y/N held out an expectant hand to Dean, who scoffed and shook his head. 

“No chance, sweetheart.” He took a sip of his beer and looked away as her smile feel fractionally. “I don’t dance.”

“Fine,” she muttered, almost childishly, her eyes sliding over him so that she could look at his brother. “Sammy?”

“Yes, Y/N?” the corner of his mouth twitched with a poorly concealed smile as the girl held her hand out to him. 

“Dance with me?”

There was no doubt that Dean would get bothered if he accepted, and the thought of that alone prompted the younger, taller, Winchester to accept Y/N’s offer. Placing his hand in her outstretched one, he led her over to the makeshift dancefloor quickly and spun her around in time to the country song playing from the jukebox, fully aware that his brother was glaring holes into the back of his head. Not caring about his brother’s jealousy, Sam pulled Y/N close and playfully dipped her, earning a laugh from her that annoyed Dean to no end as the pair continued to move amongst the other couples on the floor.

Dean knew what they were doing. From the second she shot Sammy that glorious, gorgeous wicked smirk of hers he knew that she was going to try and rile him up and that his brother would do anything to help. He played along as he watched Sam spin his girl around the dance floor, pretending to be grumpy, when in reality he was just taking the time to watch her. The smile on her face when she was genuinely happy was unlike anything Dean had ever seen before, and the first time he saw it, all those years ago, he knew he would do anything to see it over and over again. He was in deep, and the thought both terrified and made him feel whole at the same time. 

When Sam stepped on Y/N’s foot for the third time in a row he stood up and made his way over to the pair, his arms effectively pulling her away from his brother and back into his chest. She squirmed slightly, but the wide, heart-stopping grin on her face let him know she was secretly pleased that he had come over. No words needed to be shared between the trio, after years of hunting together a glance was enough. With his patent bitch face plastered across his features, Sam turned away from the couple and walked back towards their table, making sure that neither of them caught the fond smile he wore as he sat back down.

“Let me show you how a real man dances.” Dean spun her around and pulled her towards him so that he could wrap his arms around her waist and hold her close.

“I thought you didn’t dance?” she raised one eyebrow, the challenge clearly written on her face.

“I don’t, but here I am,” he glanced down at her briefly, almost daring her to make any further comments on it as they swayed back and forth to the music. Y/N didn’t voice her thoughts out loud, but it was clear on the triumphant expression on her face. She had him in the palm of her hand and she knew it.

I miss the feeling that we had then; We were never growing old.

~*~

The flannel Y/N had slipped over her shoulders earlier had long since fallen, allowing the cool night air to brush against her shoulders. Dean had just sat her gently on Baby’s hood, making her promise not to scratch the Impala before he ducked his head inside for a second to put some music on. Tilting her head back, Y/N smiled and looked up at the stars as the familiar notes to their unofficial song began to play softly.

Dean paused in front of her as he came back around front, compelling her to look back down to see why he had stopped. Wordlessly, he simply stood where he was, a handful of steps away, and looked her over from head to toe. There was a look in his eyes she couldn’t quite decipher, but he didn’t give her time to linger on it as he stepped forward and gently pulled the flannel back over her shoulders. His warm hands trailed down her arms slowly, coming to rest on her waist. Y/N took a sip from the bottle she held loosely in between her fingers before winding her arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him closer.

“What’s running through that pretty head of yours, Deano?” she asked quietly, tracing his sudden smile with her fingertips. He shook his head slightly, his eyes practically shining in the moonlight as he leant forward and pressed his forehead against hers gently.

“I’m just really glad Sammy isn’t here right now.”

“Ditto, Winchester,” Y/N laughed quietly and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Ditto.”

Yeah, I miss it all.

~*~

“…such a pain in the ass,” Y/N rolled her eyes, almost playfully, and pulled her feet up onto the bench she was sat on. “I know he’s just trying to be helpful, or whatever, but sending me on a blind date?” She scoffed and dropped her head back so that she could look up at the stars. “What a dick.” Mist curled up through the air as a long breath passed over her lips. “I mean that in the best possible way, so don’t look at me like that. I love Sam, but sending me on a date when he said I needed to go and gather information…” She paused to let out a low groan and wrapped her arms around her knees. 

I waited all night for you to come home. I always hated sleeping alone.

“The sun should be coming up soon.” Birds were starting to sing as they woke up, prompting her to look up at the lightening horizon. “I think that’s my cue to go home before anyone realises I’ve been gone.” Standing up slowly, Y/N shook out her cold, and slightly numb, limbs before gathering her things. “Same time tonight?” Leaning slightly, she brushed some snow away from the gravestone, her hand lingering for a second before she straightened back up. “I’ll see you around, Dean.”

I hope that the lipstick I left on your face Stays red like the roses I laid on your grave.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester angst #sam winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #awkwardauthormasterlist #awkwardauthorwrites #awkwardauthor