My own Italian Remus headcanons:
First of all, his name is Remo (I'm not sure how to translate the surname, but it's either Lupino or Lupini)
He's from the South
Does not understand savoury breakfast, it just doesn't make sense
Every shop just closes to ealy in England according to him
Perpetually sniffly because of the cold temperatures in the uk
At 11 he though the height of comedy was translating people's names. The only ones that escaped from it were those with boring translations (Sirius becomes Sirio) or those whithout (Lily, it technically translates to giglio, but that's only for the plant)
He knows a fuckton of old british music because that's how his mom learnt English
Hope is like a weaboo but for England. Obviously Hope is not her name, it's like Cettina or something
Lyall doesn't know English. Nor does he want to learn. Unbothered king. His name is Francesco, but everyone calls him Ciccio. Or because of his surname, U Lupu
In Italy, wolves are not extinct like in the UK, so he has met wild ones before
He often starts his answers with sì, but the rest is in perfect English
He talks ridiculously posh, but that's just because his first language is a romance one
Everyone just assumes it's a good cook. Everyone is wrong
Everyone just assumes he's way smarter in Italian, but actually he's reached the level of fluency where he's an absolute idiot in Italian and keeps italianising English words instead of saying the correct Italian ones
He always complains that English swear words aren't enough. What do you mean you don't threaten to sodomize people's dead relatives? The worst you can say to them is to fuck off? Well that's not effective
Counts in Italian
Everyone compliments him for his tan, while in Italy everyone asks him if he's even ever seen the sun because of how pale he is
At first he used to switch to italian when tired or too in pain, but nowadays it's actually the opposite. It makes the moons with his father hell
Same with being drunk btw
His partner asks him to talk in Italian when they're intimate, he would rather die than comply
Reading books in Italian is now terribly weird and he will not do it ever again thank you
Except for Leopardi, he can always read his poetry. Isn't it terribly depressed? Yes and?
People debate about his accent all the time. It was declared "clearly russian" once. It's a bit concerning
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Harry knows a lot of languages, in theory, but he’s only fluent in English like;
He can completely understands Punjabi because that’s the Potters’ native language but he can’t quite grasp speaking it. He picks up French terms of endearments/cuss words from Regulus and Sirius. He knows welsh cuss words as well as philosophical translations because of Remus. He can playfully imitate Italian pick up lines because of Barty. He knows to hide when he hears Swahili because Dorcas only reverts back to it when she’s completely pissed at someone. But everyone around him speaks English the majority of the time, so that’s what he speaks.
Then he gets to Hogwarts and meets Draco Malfoy who can hold a conversation in just about any language someone speaks to him in and fuck, Harry never thought that French was romantic. He’s never seen Punjabi as alluring before. He didn’t consider Italian as attractive.
He spends the summer begging members of his family to teach him more of their languages so he can go back and prove to Draco that he is stupid in more than one language.
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Regulus: do any of you guys have Pinterest?
James: nope.
Sirius: no….
Peter: no.
Remus: yes.
Regulus: wanna make a collaborating board for Måneskin?
Remus: sure.
Sirius: can I join?
Remus: I thought you didn’t have Pinterest?
Sirius: umm…
Regulus *takes Sirius’ phone*: lest check shall we?
Sirius: NO
James: your biggest Pinterest board is 12,000 and it’s for… Good Omens?
Sirius: ITS A FUCKING GOOD SHOW
Peter: it is.
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i just saw a post about portugese marlene and now all i can think about is where the marauders are from.
after thinking about this long and hard( i spent like two seconds on each person i am a very fast thinker) i present to you:
a (quarter italian) indian james!!
a french sirius and regulus (and the entire black family really)
a welsh remus
a german peter
a portugese marlene (i accept nothing less)
an english lily
a brazilian mary
an italian barty
a scottish evan ( he was brought up in london)
an african dorcas
a mix of everything pandora (she is some part egyptian idk how but she is)
did i forget anybody?
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What if Wolfstar was Italian?
Remus would definitely be from either Rome or Naples (for the way he speaks)
Sirius would be from Milan
He works as a model for various companies (especially Versace)
Remus worked in a restaurant in his home city but he wants to be a photographer
He moves to Milan for a job opportunity
When Remus meets Sirius he remains shocked by his beauty and fashion
Remus doesn't follow fashion rules and has his own way of dressing
Sirius is surprised by that since he always met people that follow society standards
Though after a while he gets used to it and starts to like it
They get to know each other because they meet every day before work in a bar in Milan
Remus goes there because he knows Sirius will be there
Initially they sat at different tables but after a few weeks they started seating at the same table
Remus finally gets the photographer job he wanted and guess what?
He'll be the photographer for the next shooting Sirius will do
Remus almost starts jumping excitedly when his boss tells him he's gonna work with the famous "Sirius Black"
After that they both notice to feel something
Remus gathers courage and invites Sirius out for a pizza together
Sirius casually starts to speak about love and then confesses
Remus obviously accepts his confession and they get together
Then they start living a happy Italian romance together in which Remus style gets better and Sirius becomes more open into trying "non-fashion" things or cheap foods
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remus being taller than sirius not in a uwu over feminized sirius way but in a sirius is like proportionately tall as fuck 5'11 and he's fuckin hot and then remus is like 6'1 awkward tall lanky and lowk ugly way
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