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#less analysis more rambling but boy did I need to get this out
strixcattus · 3 months
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I really enjoy looking at this still from Slay the Princess:
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In the midst of all the weird imagery from the first part of the Stranger route, you see for a moment—and it is cut off at the end, so I had to be quick with my screenshot—every route laid out in front of you, paired up as the game does elsewhere, and described, interestingly enough, from what I can only believe is the Voices' perspectives, or perhaps the relationship between the Princess and the Voice of a given route.
Consumption: The Beast (Hunted), the ribcages in the bottom right. Being eaten, alive or half so, is one way or another the outcome you face in the Beast. This one seems to be the least connected to its route's Voice, though I can still see it in a relational sort of way. Betrayal: The Witch (Opportunist), the nail-studded... I can't tell what it is, but it's at the top left. Betrayal on your part is the cause of the Witch's route, and it too is inevitable in some form once you're on that route—the Opportunist is very vocal about it.
Skepticism: The Prisoner (Skeptic), the chains at the bottom. Pretty clear analogue given the name of the Voice, but not to neglect—you reach the Prisoner by taking the blade (distrust of the Princess) but ultimately using it to free the Princess (you take the time to think critically about what you're being asked to do, and decide the Narrator is less trustworthy). Blind devotion: The Damsel (Smitten), the... I can only imagine locks of hair at the top. You reach the Damsel by immediately and wholly assuming she has no ill intentions, an attitude made manifest in the Smitten.
Rivalry: The Adversary (Stubborn), the spikes to the left. The Adversary route is, so long as you embrace it, about your probably-a-metaphor-for-sex-I-mean-the-Eye of the Needle-isn't-even-trying-to-veil-it eternal fight with the Adversary, with the Stubborn in strong support. Submission: The Tower (Broken), the stone columns to the right. One of the most clear-cut "this is about the Voice" examples—the Broken has completely submitted to the Tower's will, even though the player still has a few chances to resist her.
Terror: The Nightmare (Paranoid), the eyes in the upper right. Of course, the Nightmare is all about fear, and the Paranoid is the embodiment of your fear of the Princess—the fear that made you lock her in the basement and the fear that stopped your heart when she broke free. Longing: The Spectre (Cold), the wisps in the bottom left. This one is interesting, and almost made me second-guess my "Voices" reading, as the Spectre herself is clearly a creature of longing—but then what about "Submission?" The Tower is not "submitting" to anything. That's her whole deal. Perhaps this one is connected to your desire for something other than what the Narrator calls the "Good Ending..." or perhaps it has something to do with the Cold's interest in feeling something, which he expresses in a few routes (the Greys being the most obvious).
Pain: The Razor (Cheated,) the spikes at the top. She skewers you, and you die. Over and over again she skewers you, and you die, and it is painful over and over again. I'm not sure I have much to add to this one. Unfamiliarity: The Stranger (Contrarian), the abstract DNA-like strand at the bottom. You reach the Stranger by refusing to interact with the Princess, leaving her an unfamiliar blank slate whose actions you cannot predict and thus fracture into every possible image of her.
And at the heart of it all, an emotion that can only be described as—what? The Narrator doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence before you wake up in the Prisoner's basement, but I'd think the answer is obvious once you've finished the game.
After all, this is a love story.
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aromantic-shadow · 1 year
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Shadow’s Characterization in Prime
(SPOILERS AHEAD!)
So I binged Prime today, and loved it. The only bad part was the cliffhanger (I need to know what happens I need more Shadow please please!)
True to form, my favorite part of the show was Shadow. Hence this analysis of how Prime wrote his character and why it’s a stellar take.
Let’s start with the minor details, the stuff that doesn’t really matter in the big scheme but still made me giddy.
His voice is perfect. I love it. Perfect Shadow.
He has most of his traditional powers- superspeed (from his air shoes, which- love his skating animation), the spin-dash, and chaos control when holding a chaos emerald. Makes my little heart happy.
Just love how he plows through rocks. He’s so straightforwardly brutal. It’s perfect.
Speaking of abilities:
Power level
One of the trickier parts of writing characters in a fight scene is properly conveying relative power levels. This is something Prime does quite well. We can see from their actions that Knuckles is strong and formidable, Tails is smart and able to think tactically, Eggman is silly and petty and somehow still crafty and capable of using strength in numbers.
In Sonic and Shadow’s iconic fight, Shadow is portrayed as more or less equal to Sonic. With the aid of his skates and chaos control Shadow manages to keep up with Sonic easily. They both end the fight breathless (reminds me of the aftermath of their fight on Prison Island in SA2). His fighting style is distinct from Sonic’s. Sonic will not stop talking, refusing to take the fight seriously. Shadow’s fighting style is no nonsense- no flourishes, taunts, or detours- just curt dialogue and brute force.
This fight is really the only time we see both Shadow and Sonic at their full power. For the rest of the show, Sonic deals with various inhibitions to his natural talent (power overload, trees blocking his path, surrounded by water). Shadow, meanwhile, is caught mid-chaos control as Sonic shatters the Paradox Prism, and gets stuck in between the shatter-spaces. It’s both hilarious and tragic. My poor boy.
Characterization/Dialogue
The first we see of Shadow beyond brief glimpses is as he blasts through boulders, rocking a resting bitch-face. It’s unclear at first why he’s smashing rocks, until he unearths a chaos emerald, which he uses to chaos control. It’s also the first time (chronologically) we hear him speak. “Chaos emerald… there you are. Chaos control!���
During his fight with Sonic, his dialogue is curt, limited to questions, requests, or brief taunts. “What did you do?” “You need to stop, Sonic. Listen, for once.” “What mission?” “Learn to focus.” It’s contrasted with Sonic’s rambling, showing that unlike his happy-go-lucky rival, Shadow is goal-oriented to a fault. However, there’s a lot of emotion in his delivery- mostly frustration.
He gets more range once he’s stuck in the void. He’s clearly distraught when he first speaks to Sonic: “Sonic, it’s broken! It’s all broken.” Later, when giving Sonic instructions, his voice is laced with desperation.
It isn’t until he meets Sonic in between shatter-spaces that he stops sticking straight to the point and lets out a little anger. “Home? Home doesn’t exist anymore- because of you!” And yeah, I totally get it. If my home didn’t exist anymore, I’d also beat up the guy responsible even if we needed to work together afterwards.
Goals
Shadow’s first goal is finding a chaos emerald. His next goal is beating the answers to the shockwave that shook the island out of Sonic. Classic.
His search for answers leads him to the site of the Paradox Prism, where he chaos controls- presumably in an attempt to stop Sonic from doing something foolish- just as the Prism shatters. This gets him stuck in the void.
His next goal isn’t fully clear. He starts by trying to contact Sonic, occasionally giving him instructions- “Keep going! Do not stop!” It seems like Shadow is looking for a way to fix things, or at least to get out of his cross-dimensional prison. He’s clearly dissatisfied with the current state of things.
Affiliations
We don’t see him interacting with anyone besides a few stray flickies, Big, and Sonic. He’s indifferent towards what doesn’t directly concern him (see: knocking Big over. Inconveniencing someone isn’t a problem for him, at least not when he has a goal in mind). When interacting with Sonic, his main attitude is frustration and disappointment. Classic rival behavior.
This morphs to anger when confronting him between shatter-spaces, paired with genuine grief. (“It’s all broken” is going to haunt me.) He clearly cares about Green Hill as much as Sonic does. While you could argue that he’s simply angry about being trapped, his dialogue- “It’s all broken”, “Home doesn’t exist anymore”- indicates that he cares a lot about the state of his world.
I’m over the moon about how clearly Shadow cares. It’s awesome to see a Shadow that’s deeper than “edgy egomaniac rival”. (In fact, I’d go as far as to say Prime Shadow displays a distinct lack of ego- he doesn’t hesitate to reach out to Sonic for help, after all, despite their rivalry.) If in future episodes he’s friendly or even amicable with Rouge I’ll be thrilled, but even without that I’m satisfied. Shadow cares about protecting the balance of Green Hills, even if he’s not quipping and smiling about it.
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sleepykamukura · 9 months
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i think ashe is one of the most agonizing characters for me to think about because she’s just like me
her family is a shitshow. i’ve never seen people acknowledge that her parents were genuinely abusive past “ashe’s family sucks.”
neglect is abuse, manipulation is abuse, and it’s implied in a one-off that her mother threatens to hit her
so, long long ramble analysis of ashe’s parents
Graduation Day
ashe’s day starts well, excited to graduate, finally be out of a shitty school with shittier peers. her parents promised to be there, and they weren’t. this also isn’t the first time, according to ashe
she’s upset, she wants to be alone. unfortunately, being alone is what gets her into trouble
The Fight
so obviously a 17yo girl getting cornered by two teenage boys is definitely not a great situation, and the cops not believing ashe was defending herself baffles me
her parents have me even more confused. do you have so little care for your kid that you’re more worried about your image than your safety?
they tell her they’ll disown her, which is fucked. this is a threat, this is abuse
Calamity
when the original gang(tm) have her come up with a code name for their trip to cutthroat trout’s, ashe doesn’t think of a nickname or something badass, she thinks of her mother fussing at her over an accident
The House
this is the biggest piece to me.
ashe’s parents are home on her birthday, they’re angry, they’re either unaware of or unbothered by the fact a kid (cole) has been kidnapped off their property, they’re unbothered that their daughter was inside a burning building, they’re more bothered by their money being at risk
“Oh honestly, Elizabeth,” she said, sounding exasperated, “did you really believe we were going to disown you? Our only child?”
Ashe blinked at her parents, utterly bewildered.
“You were out of control,” her father continued. “You needed to be taught a lesson. Yes, it was a drastic step to make you think we were going to cut you off, but something needed to be done to convince you to clean up your act!”
The world seemed to warp around Ashe, twisting in some way she couldn’t comprehend. Were they telling the truth? Or was this simply a performance, a rewriting of the punishment they’d threatened, in order for her parents to save face in front of Bellerae’s police force?
Something needed to be done.
You needed to be taught a lesson.
to me, this implies that ashe’s parents rewrite their punishments frequently when it doesn’t go how they want to emotionally confuse her
Her mother looked surprised, but only for a moment. Then her eyes went hard. “You know, Elizabeth, I used to think you were misguided, a little too spirited for your own good. I thought having to confront the idea of being on your own would be to your benefit. But now I know better: At your core, you’re nothing more than a base, common criminal.”
“Strange,” said Ashe, glaring right back. “I would have thought that made me the perfect candidate to work with you and all those corporate buddies whose boots you line up to lick.”
Her mother’s hand flickered up, as if she was about to slap Ashe, but it stopped halfway. “Sheriff,” she called instead. “Get over here.”
wow! ok! even if she doesn’t actually hit her, its still wrong to threaten people (let alone your kids) with physical violence
The Aftermath (Part One)
Less than an hour later, she was free. And poor, once again. Her bail, covering the many crimes she was accused of, had been astronomical—taking almost everything there was in the gang’s shared account. That had left a feeling like a hole in her gut, but it was nothing compared to the one eating deeper and deeper as the minutes ticked by and the Diamondbacks still had [Cole]. And yet, she couldn’t help but reflect on how her parents’ interference had left her exactly where they had intended—eighteen, penniless, and without anywhere to call home.
But even if her blood relations had cast her aside, Ashe had found a new family to take their place.
And one of those people was in trouble.
ashe’s family isn’t blood anymore. her parents have hurt her over and over again for eighteen years, and to me i can interpret this of her being drained of every possible drop of love for her parents. they don’t seem to love her, why should she be obligated to love them? the gang treats her better, they respect her, they’re an emotionally stable environment.
The last few months had been the first time in years she’d been happy in this house. Now she was walking its halls for what was likely the final time.
The thought didn’t bother her half as much as she might have expected.
the house is devoid of ashe’s real family (the gang), making it worthless to her in the end.
Packing only some clothing and a few personal items. Everything else, she was happy to abandon. It wasn’t her, not anymore. In the end, the entirety of her life at Lead Rose Manor came to less than half a rucksack.
nothing in the manor mattered to her, i interpret this as her only things she brought was things she bought with her own money
If her parents had kept their promise, she never would have met [Cole], or Julian, or Frankie. And that opened a bigger hole in her than the thought of never seeing Lead Rose again.
This was no longer her home. Arbalest was no longer her company. And her parents were no longer her family.
<- refer to last excerpt’s comment
The Aftermath (Part Two)
right after ashe declares the gang is her only family, it’s revealed that julian is the one who betrayed her. obviously this is messed up, it’s upsetting, and she’s angry.
Frankie’s expression turned even stonier than when she’d looked at Julian. “I’m not saying I don’t understand, but … I’d never betray you—or Jesse, or even B.O.B.—like that. I thought you’d know that by now. But I’ll give you that one mistake.” She locked eyes with Ashe. “Next time you doubt me, I’m done. That’s not something I’ll forgive twice. Understood?”
to me this feels like ashe’s treatment in her childhood has altered her perception of others. her parenrs betrayed her and broke promises a lot, at least as far as we’re told. obviously ashe is quick to jump to conclusions, but luckily frankie is willing to give her a chance to learn not everyone is like that
But even though [Cole] was smiling, one of his eyes was nearly swelled shut, and there was dried blood on his chin from a split lip.
Ashe wheeled on Bez and shoved him into the wall of the cavern. “What did you do to him, you son of a—”
this isnt super important, to me it’s just ashe taking on the overprotective role her blood family never did for her
Seeing them now, gathered and wearing their new insignia for the first time, triggered a strange feeling, one that was so unfamiliar it took her a moment to identify it.
Home. This felt like home.
“But more than a gang,” she continued, “we’re a family. And like a real family, once you’re in Deadlock, you’re in it for life.”
ashe’s blood family is gone, but she has the gang now. maybe her methods are harsh, but she does it in a way they gives out the feeling of love and safety her parents never provided for her
The Aftermath (The Finale)
although we don’t see cole’s betrayal, to me it’s implied he was forced to cut contact with ashe. maybe it’s just a throw away line, but ashe remarks that cole promised he’s right, yet he never did. ~20 years with no contact doesn’t seem like something usual for cole, even if he was disagreeing with how deadlock was straying from its original path.
ashe had been stabbed in the back before, first her family, then julian. of course it hurt when she thought cole betrayed her, the first person to attempt to even understand her, the person she was willing to risk her life to save.
cole having contact with ashe probably wasn’t forcefully cut off, but he instead decided it was safer for her and the rest of the gang for him to not contact him, in preparation of his contact being tracked by overwatch to potentially do another operation on the deadlock gang
okay it’s 4:30am and i’ve been writing for 2hrs now and i’m done uhhh i would love any additional content and observations and analysis ^_^ i like seeing other people’s interpretations
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jaycrakhead · 7 months
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Gauche x Grey (Greyche analysis/Guide?) PART 2
(not me promoting my art as the cover again)
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HEEEYA here's part 2
So let's continue this massive-… I don't even know what to call this anymore, I feel like I'm just making a Greyche Guide for beginners KAKQKQOA If you are reading this, I hope you like it UEDUH I'm just having fun while rambling that's all DUEIDH
So, first things first, I went through the anime (from where part 1 left off) to catch some little moments on the time skip (before episode 150);
(Chapter 224/ Episode 128) Gauche and Grey are pretty much traumatized after the Agrippa Family experience. Asta in the anime says that what they ate got them like that, as in the manga they just died in their beds DIUEDUHDH Luck says they are stuck in bed akakqka Some meme that they are stuck in bed for that sus reason we all know about but yeah memes aside, they just are traumatized IUUDHHE
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And yes it's worth mentioning for the pics. Since they don't appear for a bit in the anime, that food really fucked them up for real kwkakaka I'm just kidding UEDIUHDHE
(Episode 134) I do know that this episode is filler but since Sister Theresa implied that Gauche asked Grey to transform him into a child, I just wanted to point out how the conversation must have been for her to turn him into a child wkakskd How did he even asked that? And imagine suddenly being asked to turn someone into a child- But truly like (This is just headcanon now) He gets turned, looks at the mirror "Ah just as I remember" And just leaves like a child, and Grey there just watching- UEDIDH
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(Episode 140) They are caught together by Sally and it's just dorky the whole scene. When Sally says that she will experiment on both of them, Grey replies with "Us together... embarassing"- But she would be embarassed with anyone I believe- Well, have Grey clinging without Gauche complaining (at this point is pretty much something natural to him). Also I love that that's just Gauche's signature pose after the "hands in pockets" pose.
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NOW THE EPISODE
(Episode 150)
Well this maiden's challenge is about overcoming her shyness and feeling more comfortable in her true form or at least to handle being looked at. It begins with Grey thinking about how her comrades are improving and she believes that she needs to improve too. She comments on Finral, Gordon, Luck, Magna, Noelle and Asta, the last she comments on is our grumpy boy Gauche. She comments he got "less weird" or at least she thinks so. Which is the funniest improvement to have tbh KQKQKQK actually there’s not that much screen time for Gauche’s improvement/or just focus during the timeskip but it’s fine too
Grey in Gauche's form goes to speak with Gauche himself. She is probably hella embarrassed at this point to need to transform in him to ask for his help. He asks why she is walking around in his form and then she actually asks for help. But he doesn't understand at all since their magic attributes are totally different. Then she explains that she would like to learn how to be more confident. Since she asked him for his help is safe to assume she thinks of Gauche as a confident individual too, I just think he has that “zero fucks attitude” which goes along with it tbh
He refuses at first, to which she says "Don't be mean >_< help me", then he says that he doesn't get anything in return. She offers to do a favor for him. He agrees to help if she transforms into Marie and reads a script of cute quotes to him. Well Grey still is a bit puzzled since she isn't the real Marie but that would make him happy anyway? Gauche is just like "I will survive since I only see real Marie monthly"
Well, outside Gauche surrounds Grey with mirrors with his reflection on it, like it must be a total nightmare of embarrassment for Grey jakqkaka being watched 360 by Gauche.
Well she can't handle it as it is obvious and Gauche is forced to think of something else. Then the whole butterfly hypnosis thing happens, where he commanded Grey to have a carefree mind like a turtle. If I Google it for the overanalyzing sarcasm, Goggle says that "Butterflies symbolize the essence of eternal love and companionship" and “If the turtle is your spirit animal, you probably value stability and security in your relationships. You tend to move slowly and methodically, taking your time to get to know someone before committing. However, you can sometimes be too cautious, missing out on opportunities because you're afraid of taking risks.” UEDUHIUEHD
Overanalyzing sarcasm aside, Butterflies are the symbol of transformation which goes along with Grey. That's it.
Back to our slowburn as it is, she handles the fact that she is being watched 360 by Gauche and he smiles at the accomplishment.
He takes her to town, (date vibes- kidding UEIHIUDHED) and she is quite handling well to be around so many people. Gauche says it will be fine to be surrounded by her comrades then. She thanks him and there he goes asking for her to fulfill her end of the deal.
She transforms into Marie, Gauche immediately rushes nose bleeding to hug "Marie". Grey goes back to her true form. Gauche stops there mid almost hug (;-;) and asks why she turned back, to which Grey is embarrassed again and replies that "that was a bit much". He tells her to transform back. Some people see that as him forcing her, I can see that too but at the same time well they were testing Grey embarrassment too after all and he doesn’t do it again so meh, whatever it was he redeems himself a few seconds after so yeah UEUDHEH. She says she can't transform because she is embarrassed. That means the hypnosis has also worn off. I have the theory that probably the hypnosis worn off because well Grey got embarrassed because it was Gauche… And it’s sus, so that person that you have a sus feeling coming to hug you is fucked up but it’s just a theory, probably it just worn off naturally and that’s pretty much it.
Gauche complains that she got back to normal, so he looks away from her and says that it was a waste of time all their work. Also the frame where Grey is dying of embarrassment and Gauche is looking away, if you take out of the context looks like two embarrassed people that have that sus feeling towards each other is funny UIEUDHEIUHD
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Then he asks why she just doesn't turn to the other form since she doesn't get embarrassed while transformed. Grey says that it wouldn't be the real her. To which Gauche replies with the infamous "No matter what form you take, you are always Grey" and starts walking away as if it was nothing like the aloof wannabe mf he is (Zora and Gauche are just that type of guy but then internally they are soft edgy mfs). Grey giggles and then follows him.
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With that being said…I think is great that he didn't actually see her as his sister when he asked to turn into her. It's still weird and all if you think too much about it due to the siscon thing, but despite popular opinion I don't shipp them just for Gauche to lose his "siscon" thing, he is already working pretty much on it when caring for his team mates and such. Also I think their partnership is far more about just Grey making him transcend or some shit. Also, I think it was nice of him not forcing her at all to transform back after that or pressuring her. Their time was wasted and he was just like "oh well...", not to mention him like saying that to Grey. Finally, It’s pretty much convenient calling the episode “The Maidens’ Challenge”, and including two “princesses/maidens” with their “princes”. Two anxious princesses in their own waysUEIDUHED and well those… two princes UDEDUYEH Let's head now to the Heart Kingdom Joint Struggle Arc
(Chapter 240/241/242/243- Episode 162) Well I like these three panels. We have "Them", "Traumatized them" and "Gauche having a window jumpscare" like Grey did (not exactly a jumpscare but it was a funny paralel)
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We have a little scene before Gauche goes with shit. Like in the anime Grey notices Gauche isn't there when he goes off to the roof. But well GAUCHE GOES WITH SHIT
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ah wrong image
BUT GAUCHE GOES WITH SHIT In the anime we can see Grey looking at him worried and yeah good job Grey ;-; I would be brain dead at that point because I would be feeling so much shit that worried would be my last facial expression, that's why I'm not a magic knight for sure
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Grey cries calling out his name and cries because she couldn't do anything and her magic is "useless". She cries, we cry, I cry,- idk if he is in the same state as Yami when he was about to die in the Spade Raid arc and Charlotte confessed to him, but he didn't manage to listen to any of what she said. so idk if he is listening at all at least he is kinda seeing what's happening in front of him and he knows she saved him well
(Chapter 244_Episode 163) CINDERELLA GREY LET'S GOOO
As Dante casually wrecks the shit out of Asta, Grey is having a hard time, I mean, sure Gauche is literally dying BUT HEY GREY MY GIRL is having a hard time.
It seems like he is looking at her while he dies but I'm not sure so I won't go further into it.
mf just looking straight to what's in front of him and I'm like OH SHIT HE IS LOOKING AT HER
Seriously I can't tell at all
We see her Cinderella back story, we cry- I cry and we will skip to the part where she runs away from home. A group of bastards try to do you know what to Grey (in one of her step sisters from) and suddenly Gauche saves her. However he tells her to not be mistaken, he just saved her because Marie asked him to. By seeing how Gauche and Marie are good siblings she wishes she had a good sibling relationship like that. Well Gauche asks what she is doing at a forest. She doesn't know how to answer, Marie says she should go back home. Gauche asks if she ran away from home and well here we have Gauche's life advice:
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and
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Well destiny brought them to the same place. And that advice actually helped her a lot. When she was recruited to the Black Bulls, there, she reencountered Gauche but he did not recognize her. Regardless, she was grateful AF for him indirectly leading her to the squad, where she felt that she truly belonged and made friends who are like family to her. Which is also some type of Cinderella and Prince thing, he doesn't recognizing her because she was transformed into a maiden. Also if I was to be dramatic, her transformation on the night she met Gauche went off just like Cinderella's at midnight. In Cinderella, she is the one to disappear so she can go back to normal away from everybody else, however in this story Gauche just walked away and Grey got back to normal. Cinderella Gauche confirmed- However to be fair it probably wasn't midnight but it's a parallel I guess. Actually I could be even more hours talking about all the meanings and shit behind the Cinderella parallel but I might as well die from writing. Ah About her true name theory, I have no idea what it might be but if it is meant to be "Cinderella's name" I just wanna say to everyone who gets Cinderella's name wrong, her name is ELLA, not AURORA, not RELLA it's ELLA. CINDER plus ELLA (not including the old origin story of Cinderella for that info) I just wanted to say that because I've seen so many people getting Cinderella's name wrong while theorizing and it hurts However I don't think Grey's name is Ella or Cinderella, I have no clue I wouldn't be surprised if her name is Blue or some shit IUDEIUDHHE And her sisters where like "sksksksk Grey matches your name since it's a colour too" Idk guys UIEDUHUHE BACK TO FOCUS, in the anime it is added the scene of episode 150 where Gauche tells Grey that she will always be Grey doesn't matter what form she takes to add more into it. Well she wishes to save him and-
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she does save him and says this cute thing too <3
well
then Gauche is just there IUDEIDUHEIU lowkey dying but this time alive and well IUEHDIE
(Chapter 260-Episode 167) Well Asta and Yami win and stuff- Gauche wakes up (Note: Grey never left his side, I know she wouldn't be helpful at all in the battle but yeah SUS) She is just happy as hell and hugs him out of happiness. Which is cute because she was THAT happy to not even think on how "embarassing it would be". He doesn't brush her away or anything but well she gets embarrassed and pushes herself away apologizing. Worth mentioning Vanessa lowkey shipping-
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In the anime, that scene stays basically the same but Gauche actually talks besides saying "...Hey, Grey"
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ups wrong pic He still says "Hey, Grey", then she notices that she is hugging him, lets go of him while apologizing and Gauche asks why she is apologizing ;-; In the English dub instead of "Hey, Grey", I believe he asks if she is okay after she thanks the gods for him to be okay. In the English dub Vanessa also says "Yeah something is up with those to for sure"
After that, they are just framed together basically. To be fair I think they are meant to have something because manga foreshadowing is always important duedhiuehd and yeah at this point there's no reason to put all this moment and Grey's back story with Gauche if they are meant to be just friends or nothing at all. If they end up as friends, I'm okay too however I feel like something is off IUEDIUDH But I also don't see a big dramatic kiss out of nowhere
(Chapter 261-Episode168) Grey asks Owen to take a proper look at Gauche since mf almost fell out of the world. In the anime Gauche reasures Grey that he is okay and healed quite softly which which is SUS AF When Owen reveals that Grey's magic might not be transformation after all, in the anime Gauche asks what kind of magic it is then. quite interested aren't we- SUS But I won't overlook that I mean mf just almost died and well it's normal to have curiosity at least IOUDEOIDJ but in the anime his shock is also framed with Grey's so
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SUS
Now let's hold back the canon events for a bit and let's go to the movie
At Black Clover: Sword of the Wizard King There aren't at all many scenes, and it makes sense since when they appear the focus is the black bulls in general, fighting or been there.
However, one of the scenes is as they watch Yuno in the arena, Vanessa comments to Gauche on how everyone wants to see Yuno. To which he responds with " I only want to see my dearest sister Marie", Grey looks at him with a kinda sad expression, but I won't get much into detail since she looked already kind of sad before looking at him. She comments "as expected from Gauche-kun" and keeps staring as he chuckles.
The other scene is what made my heart go "AAAAAAA" (you probably know what I'm talking about) Despite the movie not being canon, I think it's still a great scene that shows that something is sus between them JQKQKWOW When the Black Bulls are fighting Edward Avalaché, there's the scene where Finral and Gauche "teleport" Gordon and Grey out of the danger. Finral transports Gordon alone ("alone" as meaning he just caught him in a portal, he didn't transported himself to go get him), Gordon even falls on the floor poor guy. He drops him like shit, kidding Gordon just falls wuwiaka, but I want to point out the opposite moods. Then Gauche, mf appears with Grey in his arms and she thanks him stuttering. Like that was a sight to see KQKQKQKW
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Sure, It's just nice of him to be that caring, but he didn't need to be THAT caring if you know… something wasn't sus. Probably if he didn't have that extra care towards her, he would have just dropped her beside him or something like that, not hold her in that dramatic way I mean kwoqowow
Well on the movie we got happiness, on the manga we got pain (the real ones know the feeling) JAKWKWKW Not complaining If I thought the movie scene was a dramatically great sight, the manga events were a theatrically tragic beautiful sight ;-;
Let's head back to the canon events again with the SPADE KINGDOM RAID ARC
(Chapter 312) THE BLACK BULLS CRASH THE RAID PARTY we have just brief scenes of them. I saw some people mad at Gauche telling Grey to shut up after her saving him. Bros, i swear I would curse the shit out of my wife if she was being embarassed in the middle of a war. To be honest he was quite light by saying "Shut up for now…" Like what the hell would he say "yo love chill out, here hold my hand" God no-
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We have another Grey Mirror Brigade feels like the 20th IUEIUhd After that they are pretty much framed together or near each other like they didn't left each others side anymore (not talking just about this arc because I do know it's only a few scenes of them together, but like since the Agrippa family thing they pretty much have been usually together)
well let's go to the Final and Current arc
(Chapter 337)(Let's include chapter 361 to keep in mind they are still side to side) They learn about Asta's "death" and well they are there existing but props to the fits I liked them.
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(Chapter 364-365 ;-;) Before the pain, here's tiny them preparing for the 100th Grey Mirror Brigade
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well, then DAMNatio.. YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID
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missing the movie;-;
So Gauche jumps to take the hit for Grey, he fails. We have these really theatrical death panels, that well is the sus confirmation that yup something is meant to happen between them. It's way too theatrical at this point what Romeo and Juliet type of shit am I witnessing- I don't know what happened in the timeskip but yeah 1 year and 3 months brings people together (not saying they are together as a couple oficially of course) Also I wonder what Gauche might have felt after noticing he failed to protect Grey.
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(Chapter 367) They are revived together which is another fair detail to have in count and here they are
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I've seen some people commenting that they might not be getting matching scars but it would be iconic to be fair Therefore we just need to wait for the rest now
WELL WE'VE REACHED THE END (for now) OF THE GREYCHE GUIDE DUYEGDIG (until chapter 368 format)
I might cover the new updates in the future WELL I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS MASSIVE GUIDE DIOEODEJIOED thx <3
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knife-moth-mc · 1 year
Note
oo that’s actually exactly what i needed thank you! The situation with Anathema and Moth in this AU is result of an experiment with forcing two consciousnesses into one body in an attempt to gain immortality. He did not choose to be a test subject so he is understandably not happy about it. I haven’t quite figured out his deal yet but he’s supervillain adjacent ig? So far he hasn’t featured super heavily (mostly just a part where August gets caught skipping patrol to go be with him) but i plan to put him into the AU a lot more because he’s fascinating and fanfiction is how I study characters like bugs. Anyway i would always like to hear more about your boy please always. Ive watched all your vods twice now i need m o r e
Fantastic, I'm happy to help!
Anathema's a weird one for sure. I've never written or played another character quite like him, and I keep coming up blank trying to find similar characters in other media. I didn't even really create him, exactly; the very first moment he existed was the moment he spoke up during the seance. (I knew his name and the bones of his backstory by then, but I hadn't figured out his voice or personality yet.) I didn't know that the seance was going to work until it did!
As with many of my characters, I understand both C!Moth and Anathema through a combination of observation of their actions and after-the-fact analysis. This is easier for me to do with Moth, since it's so directly patterned on myself. There's been significant drift but we fundamentally think very similarly so there's not much of a gap to make up. I don't have as easy a time with Anathema because his thought patterns are pretty foreign to me, so I tend to go ramble in DMs about why he did what he did after each stream. This means I have a LOT written down about how he works.
One of my favorite things about him is the way he understands people and conversely the ways in which he struggles to understand them. He has a wildly accurate knack for reading people in exactly one specific way, which is to say that he can see very clearly who people are but is blind to the justifications and plans and trains of logic that overlay that. This makes it less useful than it sounds, a little like having X-Ray vision you can’t turn off. Everyone else is concerned with the color of people’s clothing while your only view of them is their bones; it’s hard to functionally engage on the same level. And as it turns out, people’s actions tend to be more informed by logic than by some nebulous ~who they are underneath~ so the experience of being Anathema is one of consistently being blindsided and doubting your own ability to understand people in any way.
He’s missing a pretty significant chunk of default social software in general, honestly. There’s this relatively common thing called the “nerd social fallacy,“ which essentially boils down to “all my friends should be friends with each other.” Anathema doesn’t have that, or rather, he has its opposite rather than its lack. The (healthy) lack of the nerd social fallacy goes something like “sometimes people just don’t get along, and it is good and normal to have different non-overlapping friend groups.” Anathema just... doesn’t think about how other people feel about each other. To him, all his relationships are separate and have no bearing on each other. It genuinely didn’t occur to him until prompted to tell Lux he was dating August or vice versa, for example. This is also how he’s capable of being besties with K while dating Lux.
This is where I’ll leave things for now, but I’m always glad to answer more questions if you have any. (Or point you towards symbolism or similar, because I put a lot of thought into that but don’t want to say outright what most of it means. @blorbosfromminecraft can confirm that there’s a bunch of this and I love when people engage with it.)
(Also what do you MEAN you’ve watched all my vods twice, even if you’ve just watched the lore edits those are almost 70 hours of content are you okay)
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Text
Rarepair headcanons because I am ignoring my problems
Serodeku:
Izuku reenacts the Spider-Man movies with Sero. Izuku is MJ. They also alternate being Spider-Man sometimes
They skate together
They get very protective when people call their boyfriend “plain”
They play dnd together
Sero tries to make sure that izuku gets some rest
They’re both kinda insecure, izuku more than sero, but still; and they make sure to reassure each other as often as possible
Sero likes listening to Izuku’s ramblings and finds them cute. He has told izuku this, only for the poor boy to imitate a tomato
After Izuku has been particularly reckless, Sero takes advantage of his quirk, wraps Izuku in bubble wrap, and tapes it there
Tokodeku:
Jocknerd bf and goth bf, we love to see it
Tokoyami teaches izuku how to sword fight
They start a dnd club at U.A.
Izuku talks to dark shadow a lot, Dark Shadow approves of him, and has claimed the spot of best man at their wedding
Izuku comes up with ideas to help Tokoyami gain control with Dark Shadow
Dark Shadow is very protective over Izuku, no matter how many times Tokoyami tells him that he can take care of himself, Dark Shadow will put himself between Izuku and any form of danger as often as possible
Dekoyama??? Aoyama/izuku:
Aoyama gives him makeovers, obviously
Aoyama drags izuku to the mall and tries to revamp some of his wardrobe, but he actually finds the “pants” and “flannel” type shirts cute
They help each other train their quirks
Aoyama is trilingual, and teaching izuku English and French.
Izuku always brings Aoyama home some new cheese
Y’all, I love them so much. There needs to be more aodeku content
Monoshinsou:
They have people watching dates. They come up with stories for the people they’re watching; their job, family, background, etc.
They judge people together
They call each other “love”
They’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience
They jokingly sh*t-talk class A
Shinsou said “I love you” first, and it was because Monoma brought him coffee to class
Monoyama:
Like monoshinsou, they’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience
They go shopping together and pick out the most dramatic pieces of clothing for each other
I love them so much, please 😭✋
They have tea parties every week, where they sh*t talk everyone else and gossip
They are both fancy bastards, and they wear the most exquisite outfits to go grocery shopping, and the outshine everyone
They both actually make clothing, they’ll go fabric shopping together. Gift exchanges are often articles of clothing that they’ve made for each other
Momomei:
They work on gear together!!!
Momo makes sure that mei gets some sleep
Mei helps redesign momo’s suit
They often work together with izuku to work in gear and such
They actually got together after izuku introduced them. He had been working on gear with mei, and studying with momo and he thought they’d hit it off. He was correct
Shintsuyu:
Dude they’d be so cute
Tsu is a vent gremlin, and you can’t change my mind. So she and shinsou will play a game where they try to find each other. Tsu is in the vent and shinsou is in the classrooms. Shinsou will try to find whichever vent she’s in, or she’ll find whichever classroom he’s in, in 20 minutes or less
I always headcanoned tsu as a dog person, so they’d have two cats and two dogs, and a bunny that they named Deku
They like comparing their friends to animals, hence the bunny, Deku
Kamideku:
Kaminari is a flirt, and izuku does n o t know how to handle it
Kaminari likes listening to izuku’s ramblings, and can keep up with them. He’ll ask questions on things too, and Izuku has never felt more appreciated
I don’t know why I feel like they’d have so many animals, but I do. They’d have so many, man. Three cats, two dogs, four sugar gliders, a hamster
Adhd power couple. They hyperfixated on complimentary things at the same time one time
Kaminari tutors izuku in English, and izuku turots kami in some other subjects. He’s also teaching kami JSL on the side. Kaminari has a live of languages
Momochako:
Study dates, Momo asks ochako to quiz her a lot
Ochako takes to floating momo’s things when she wants attention. Especially when Momo is studying. She makes a game out of how many things she can float until the other girl notices
Uraraka’s confidence does wonders for momo’s. Uraraka always makes sure to reassure momo that she is strong and that she can do this
Momo makes Uraraka whatever her heart desires. Uraraka blushes all the time, and momo takes great pride in getting her girlfriend to blush
Minatoru:
Mina clings to everyone, but especially to toru
They give each other stuffed animals so often. They’ll go to the store to get food, and come back with three stuffed animals that reminded them of each other
Please, they’re so cute 😭✋
They will play hide and seek, I stand by this.
Mina helps toru design a new costume. I hate hers, it’s horrible, and sexist, and not suitable for a fucking child
Toru says that pink is her favorite color
They flirt with each other all the time. Half the class thinks it’s cute, half of them used to think it was cute.
Iidamomo:
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but study dates. they quiz each other, and it actually gets pretty competitive
They also have rage room dates. I will not budge on this. Iida tried to murder someone, and I am excited to see momo finally snap. She deserves it
They alternate paying for dates, don’t try me.
The go hiking a lot
They started liking each other after one late night, both having nightmares. Momo had tea, and offered some to Iida. They talked until the early hours of the morning
They can’t flirt. They try. But they’re horrible at it. They’ll compliment each other all day long, but they cannot flirt.
KIRIDEKU, MY BELOVED:
Y’all,,, y’all, I love them so much
They train together, obviously
They ran into each other one night in the common room after both having nightmares. They talked about middle school, how they were both bullied, izuku’s quirk coming in late, katsuki being abusive, kiri being bullied because his quirk wasn’t “cool.” After that, they were practically inseparable.
They started going on dates, not that either of them knew they were dates. The entire class knew, so did the teachers, so did the rest of U.A. Kirishima picked up on it first after a comment from Mina, he had is realization.
So, he started courting Izuku. Not thag izuku realized this. He brought him flowers on most ‘dates,’ he bought him hero action figures whenever he could, he complimented him until Izuku was red in the face (which was honestly very easy.) Still, izuku remained ignorant to the fact that he was indeed dating Kirishima.
The final tipping point, was due to Uraraka’s help. She was quite tired of watching the two of them pine for each other. It was amusing for the first couple months, watching Kirishima try so hard, and Deku being totally oblivious. However, she took pity on her friends after a while.
So, Uraraka devised a devilish plan to get the two together. She involved Mina, Sero, and kaminari in this plan. What was the plan, you ask? Oh, simply to trap the two in one room until they broke through izuku’s obliviousness.
Kirishima finally “straight” up admitted his feelings, to which Izuku had the sudden realization of “oh my gods, have we been dating this whole time??” Yes, Izuku. Yes you have.
They have two anniversaries after that.
Let’s be honest, they are really, annoyingly, horrifically lovey dovey. Kirishima brags about having “the manliest and bestest boyfriend in the world.” Izuku flaunts his many PowerPoint presentations on how talented and incredible Kirishima is
Uraraka doesn’t know if she did the right thing by helping them. She is so tired
Tsujirou:
Jirou makes playlists for tsu
The few sane ones in class A, I swear
They go on walks in the rain as often as they can
They go for dates in the bookstore too. They each pick out an album and a book for the other to listen to and read
Y’all, they make so much sense togetherrrrr, I’m love them 🥺
Jirou started liking tsu after the crew saved bakugou. Jirou sat with tsu after momo, Iida, kirishima, Todoroki, and izuku apologized and sat with her. They had movie night, and Jirou joined the Bakugou saving crew and tsu with taking well into the night. She just appreciated how much tsu cared
Tsu started liking Jirou after she helped Iida, momo, and izuku try to keep the class in order. She appreciated how diplomatic and calm she was
Jirou would talk to izuku all night long about how gay she was, and how adorable tsu was. So, izuku decided to try and suggest ways for Jirou to ask her out.
She did not end up getting to ask her out though, as Tsu walked up to her the next morning f and asked if she wanted to go on a date. Jirou said yes. Izuku cried
Izujirou:
They make playlists for each other
They go for runs on the beach a lot
They both have insomnia, and often spend time making blanket forts and talking, or FaceTiming and listening to music
Jirou walks into the common room once a week looking for new music. She started liking Izuku after he made a playlist for her for one of these occasions.
They’re both quite awkward when it comes to romance, but neither of them will shy away from facing the truth. So, Jirou made izuku a playlist filled with love songs that reminded her of him and sent it to him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.
So, then Jirou wrote a love song and told izuku that the song was for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.
So, then Jirou write analysis about izuku’s quirk for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell
So, then, after thinking that Jirou had done so much for him, izuku made her a playlist filled with love songs. Jirou took this to mean that izuku had finally picked up on her feelings, and accepted them.
So, they started to go on dates. Not that izuku knew this, as he is dense as hell. All leading up to izuku finally confessing his feelings on one of their ‘dates,’ to which Jirou responded, “dude, we’re already dating? Aren’t we? I- I thought that was obvious??”
May this awkward couple be forever blessed
Tokoyama:
Goth/prep boyfriends, we love to see it
At least once a day, Aoyama will proclaim that Tokoyami “shines almost as bright as he does, in his fabulous emo way”
They sword fight, and come up with really dramatic scenarios and scenes that they’re in
They bond over being in the izucrew and their shared love of swords. Aoyama took fencing classes in middle school, and Tokoyami got into sword fighting after watching it in pirates of the Caribbean as a young child. He is self taught and watched countless videos on the art of sword fighting
Tokoyami asked Aoyama our by dramatically presenting him with a dagger and going “will you accompany me on a formal outing as my lover?”
Shinyama:
They flirt constantly
No really, it’s getting quite annoying. Someone please stop them.
They both plop down in random areas and proclaim their deaths, the difference between them, is that Aoyama will burst into shinsou’s room, and yell “love, I’ve been murdered. Mourn for me” while plopping down on shinsou’s lap. Shinsou can be found laying face down outside aoyama’s door, and when Aoyama goes to open the door, he just goes “I’ve been murdered.”
^^ one time, shinsou did a very fun Halloween prank for this, where he poured fake blood all over himself for Aoyama to find him an hour later, asleep.
Nap dates. Aoyama get glitter all over shinsou’s room
Iiyama:
Aoyama enjoys making Iida blush, obviously. But he takes joy in doing it specifically when class is about to start. Aizawa is tired of his shit
Here is how I think an iiyama conversation might go:
Aoyama: I ask for one thing in this relationship-
Iida: Aoyama, you know that’s a lie-
Aoyama: for my boyfriend to carry me around all day-
Iida: Aoyama, I cannot feasibly do this with class-
Aoyama: and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for 😤
Anyway, Aoyama got carried around all day that day, despite Iida’s blush and Aizawa’s eye twitch
Everyone in the izucrew is close, but Iida and Aoyama started to get close after Iida told the crew about Stain. Aoyama wanted Iida to know that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to help him. So he started packing extra cheese for lunch and giving it to Iida. Iida was very confused at first. But this was Aoyama trying to court him. This was only made apparent by momo and Jirou telling Iida that this was aoyama’s attempt at expressing romantic interest.
Aoyama flirts with everyone, that’s just who he is. But with Iida? Oh it was tenfold. The poor boy was red in the face constantly. Aoyama was a persistent little bugger too, following him around and calling him ‘mon amour’
Kirikamideku:
My dearest traffic light trio, I’m love them
They train together, and kiri and kami always appreciate izuku’s analysis snd ideas
Kiri falls even more in love with izuku and kaminari when they go off on rants. Izuku rants and kami can keep up with him so he asks questions about it. Kiri loves to watch his boyfriends go on rants, I don’t make the rules, but I do enforce them
They started to get closer after kami and kiri found bakugou causing a ptsd flashback (could be on purpose of an accident, up to the reader.) they stated with him and tried to talk him through it. After this, izuku started to tell them about having been a “late bloomer” and being bullied, etc. (I don’t know, man; I tend to over share after flashbacks and after panic attacks)
Izuku tutors them in several subjects, but kami tutors them in English. Kiri just falls in love with his smart boyfriends
Izuku is teaching kami JSL and kami is helping izuku with English and Italian (personal headcanon that Italian has been one of kami’s special interests) kiri loves to listen to them, and finds it relaxing and calming to hear them do this. When he has panic attacks, he’ll ask them to tutor each other in different languages
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miekasa · 3 years
Text
six thirty
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+ pairing: armin arlert x (fem) reader
+ genres and warnings: college au, enemies to lovers… kinda… in a very nerdy academic rivalry kind of way, me being a comedian you’re welcome, fluff, smut/nsfw content
+ word count: 5.6k… pls say sike
+ notes: shout out to ryn​​ for listening to me during our very many rambling sessions and also for extorting me into posting this. consider it a late birthday present for my favorite menace </2
+ side notes: no i am not a part of armin nation and i never want to be, nor do i wish speak of this again.
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Armin Arlert is the perfect student. Prompt and well prepared during lecture; smart and insightful during office hours; the apple of any teacher’s eye. Unfortunately for him, so are you.
If you asked Armin, you were a little too clever for your own good, and liked to make it very well known that you believe you’re the smartest person in any room you walk into. That may be true, but it doesn’t mean that he has to sit there and worship your superiority complex. 
If someone asked you, you’d say that Armin was a know it all, and a manipulative little piece of shit. Again, not a completely false statement, but perhaps a slightly biased character analysis.
Neither of you are wrong. It’s why you’re both the bane of each other’s existence.  
There’s a noticeable grimace on your face, chin in your palm, elbows resting atop your desk, as you turn your head to where, sure enough, Armin is seated where he always is: first row, right side, directly in front of the podium, like perfect little teacher’s pet he wants to be. He doesn’t have any books to unpack like everybody else because a shiny, blue iPad is propped up on his desk in place of all of that. He’s robably looking through his pre-written list of showboaty questions to ask during lecture. Like he’s a cut above everyone else.  
Maybe some of the other morons in this course, but not you, that’s for damn sure. You bet that if you broke his thousand dollar tablet he wouldn’t think he’s such hot shit anymore. Maybe that would knock him down a couple of pegs.
“Look at him sitting there with his stupid blue eyes, and his stupid Bieber haircut, and his stupid, shiny blonde hair, and his stupid fucking glasses. I bet they’re not even real and he just wears them to—”
“Did you just call his hair shiny?”
You snap your head to your left, “What—no, of course not. I said shoddy, he’s probably a bottle blonde. Maybe all the chemicals from the hair dye seeps into his head and warps his sense of reality.”
“I’m pretty sure you said shiny.”
“Shut up, Annie.”
She raises an eyebrow at you, “You got something against blondes? Because your track record would beg to differ.”
“Once. We kissed once, and it was truth or dare, and we were both sloshed.”
“You still chose me,” she reminds you, pulling her notebook out of her backpack.
You huff, ignoring her words and turning your head back to Armin, this time finding him twirling his stupid fucking expensive Apple Pencil between his fingers like it’s nothing. You can feel your eye begin to twitch.
Perhaps he can, too—or maybe he can just feel your eyes boring holes into him—because he turns in your direction and ceases his pen twirling the moment you make eye-contact. More students filter in, walking past your line of vision, but each time they move, you and Armin meet gazes again; neither one of you daring to look away, a palpable tension between you.
His eyes might be icy blue, but you can see the rose pink tint underneath his skin, even from the distance; a familiar blush that spreads across his nose and cheeks. You exhale with a silent laugh, breaking your eye contact before he grows completely red, just in time for Dr. Zöe to start the lecture.
Everybody thinks that Armin’s so brilliant, so smart, so untouchable. You know that his only genius is that he’s fooling everyone into thinking that he’s the kind, humble, little nerd boy who wouldn’t harm a fly, when that’s far from the truth.
Armin is mean. He’s competitive and possessive and snarky and sly. He’s the definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but you’re pretty sure the only person in the world who might believe that is Eren. Though, you’ve heard some of the insults Armin throws Eren’s way, and they’re not exactly soft. Granted, that’s a factor in any friendship, and most of his jabs are coated with a layer of intellect the brunette likely doesn’t understand, but that doesn’t make Armin any less sarcastic. It just means Eren’s too dumb to know what’s going on.
Poor kid. Maybe it’s for the best.
That’s all to say that Armin is nothing but a big talker—not even; a smooth-talker, is more like it. He comes across as perfect, all good and sweet and soft, because that’s what he lets people see. Nobody else looks through to the sharp tongue and ragged edges, because they’re too busy cooing over innocent blue-eyed baby in front of them.
But you know that Armin, the one he doesn’t want other people to see: the one that’s so good, he’s bad; so sweet that he’s sick; so nice that it’s cruel. And you know just how much pressure to apply to make his façade crack.
And you intend on doing so.
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“I don’t know which formula to use—hey, are you two eye fucking again? Cut it out, I’m trying not to fail over here,” Eren exclaims, poking Armin’s shoulder with his pen.
The jab averts the blonde’s attention back to his friend, eyes wide as he blinks himself back to reality. He curses under his breath when he feels a familiar warmth creeping across his cheeks. Few things piss Armin off like the way he gets red in the face after thinking about you, or even just looking at you, for too long. Whether it’s red out of pure annoyance, or another feeling he tries to push down, it’s irritating, and above all, embarrassing.
He spares one more glance over his shoulder, to where you and Annie are sat a few tables away in the library. You’ve looked away by now, focusing back on your notes, but Armin swears he can still see that irritating smirk on your face from this angle.
He rolls his tongue along the inside of his cheek. He should be able to keep it together around you by now, but he can’t, and it bothers him. You bother him.
“We weren’t eye fucking,” he refutes, turning his back to you completely, “She’s such a little know it all sometimes, s’annoying.”
Eren raises an eyebrow. He knows that you and Armin don’t get along, but he doesn’t understand why. Armin knows almost all your friends, and you definitely know all of his—Eren would even go as far as to say that you and him are pretty close friends—so it’s not a matter of not spending time together. You’re also the two smartest people Eren knows. In theory you should have more than enough to talk about together, but every time you’re in the same room, you hardly acknowledge each other outside of surface level commentary, or glances that border on staring.
Thankfully, the bickering remains in the classroom for the most part. Eren’s seen you and Armin go at, and he’ll be the first to admit that it’s beyond intimidating. Though, a little part of him finds it oddly entertaining, and he can’t help but to be impressed. All the more reason for you two to start playing on the same team. 
Eren thinks the two of you should get to the root of the issue already. Which, if you asked him, has very little to do with your rivaled academic genius, and a lot to do with your lack of it concerning your feelings for each other.
“She’s not that bad,” Eren vouches for you, “I think you two might get along if you ever spoke outside of trying to one-up each other in class.”
“I’m not trying to one-up anybody,” Armin rolls his eyes, a nasty habit he’s picked up as of late, “And if you stopped and used your brain for a moment, then maybe you could solve the problem.”
“I did use my brain!” Eren’s lips fall into an offended pout, “But none of this makes any sense to me! I fucking hate math, you know that.”
Armin sighs, feeling sympathetic for Eren as he slumps into himself defeatedly. He knows that Eren isn’t dumb, but math in any capacity is certainly not his strong suit. He also knows that he shouldn’t give Eren all the answers, but sometimes he needs a little push to get him there. A little bit of added guidance and motivation to keep him going. It’s either that, or he has to trick Eren into doing the work himself, but clearly that method wasn’t working out today.
“You already solved for the activation energy, now you’re supposed to use the Arrhenius equation in the expanded form.”
Eren’s lips fall into a small o-shape, as his eyes scramble across his paper again. “But—how do you—”
“There’s two measurements given for temperature.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah! Okay, right, but then—”
“You have to convert it to Kelvin first or it won’t work. It’s given to you in Celsius.”
Eren furrows his eyebrows together, and then it finally clicks for him. He mutters to himself as he puts his pencil to paper to begin to work through the problem, “How do I convert—”
“Add 273.15 to it. Make sure you put the bigger one first in the equation, or else you’ll get a negative error.”
“You didn’t even do it,” Eren huffs, angrily punching numbers into his calculator, “How do you know it’s right?”
“Because I took this class already,” Armin reminds him, sparing a brief glance over his shoulder, “Isn’t that why I’m tutoring you?”
Eren coughs over his embarrassed blush, “Oh, yeah, right.”
It’s quiet between them as Eren makes a final attempt at solving the equation, carefully and proudly circling his answer when he’s finished. He looks to Armin with bright eyes, and is content when the blonde gives him a reassuring nod, confirming that his answer is correct.
“Well that was a bitch to work through,” Eren sighs, stretching his arms behind his head with a slight yawn, “Chemistry is nothing but glorified math. It’s barely a science.”
Armin shrugs, but he doesn’t disagree. He isn’t the biggest fan of chemistry, unlike somebody else he knows. “Why’d you take chem if you knew it would have so much math?”
It’s Eren’s turn to shrug, slumping back in his chair and running a hand through his hair, “I gotta take all the pre-med requirements… just in case.”
“You wanna go to med school? Since when?”
Eren averts his eyes from his friend, a telltale sign of his bashfulness coming over him. It doesn’t happen often, but Armin knows it’s sincere when it does.
“Dunno. I’m not sure of it, just wanna keep my options open, you know?” Eren replies casually, “Doctors help make a difference and all that, and surgery looks kind of cool. Besides, if my bastard father could do it, how hard could it really be?”  
A gentle smile grows on Armin’s lips, “You can do it. If you really want to, I know you can.”  
Eren’s head snaps up, eyes wide and filled with affirmation and adoration. He relaxes his expression quickly after, but the pink hues are still present, “Thanks, Min.”
From his position he catches eye of another head of familiar blonde hair over Armin’s shoulder, and beside it, your own hair. There’s a flash of a moment when your eyes meet Eren’s, and you offer him a small wave before turning back to Annie to resume doing your homework. Eren barely gets the chance to wave back, but a dopey smile sits on his features at your kind gesture. It fades when he looks back to Armin, once again pondering the animosity between you two.
You and Armin aren’t all that different, you just need to get to know each other better. Actually, Eren thinks that you might make a good couple if you both stopped overthinking it.
“So, what’s the deal with you and (_____)?” Eren asks, bending his right knee to wrap his arm around his leg and rest his chin on top of it, “You act like she kicked your cat.”
“What?” Armin questions, flustered, “What—no, she wouldn’t touch Soup.” 
Eren quirks an eyebrow at that. “I still can’t believe you named your cat Soup.”
“It’s technically a nickname.”
“A nickname for what?”
“…For Miso Soup.”
Eren blinks. “Okay, if she didn’t mess with Soup, then what’s the issue? You scared of her or something?”
“Why would I be scared of her?” Armin asks, tone incredulous; then softer, more subdued, like a kid who doesn’t want to admit they’re wrong, “’M not scared of her.”
“You stare at her like you are—well, you look kind of angry, but also scared. Like, when you see those balloon things outside of car washes. You hate them, but you can’t look away from them—”
“I am not scared of those!”
“You are, and it’s okay,” Eren waves away his friend’s denial, “Oh, I get it—is this one of those things where she makes you nervous, so you respond with anger and sarcasm instead of thinking through your feelings?”
“You’ve been going to therapy for one month, relax.”
“Maybe you two should go to friend therapy and work this out,” Eren bites back, “It probably doesn’t help that she’s always with Annie. They both look like they would murder someone with no remorse. I admit, it is kind of scary… but it’s kind of hot, too.”
Armin spares him an unamused glare. Eren crosses his arms in defense, “What? I’m not wrong. It’s sexy in a scary kind of way, maybe that’s why you’re always eye fucking. I don’t blame you, she’s hot. I would let her and Annie axe-murder me without regret.”
“Eren?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and do problem six, I don’t have all day.”
Eren huffs, but flips the page to the next problem, grumbling under his breath as he attempts the, “It’s not as sexy when you’re mean, you know.”
Armin hits him silent.
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Tuesdays are Armin’s favorite days because he only has one class. Sure, it’s three hours long, but it’s much more bearable than his usual eight-hour day.
It’s also the one class he shares with you. Which is why he’s always mentally exhausted by the end of it, but physically, he feels like he could punch a wall; all his pent up anger and frustration is channeled into his body and he’s desperate for an outlet for it. It’s a feeling he hates to love.
Annie seems to have cut class today seeing as she’s not next to you; and it’s almost as if it’s emboldened you to mess with him even more than usual.
He bites his tongue as Dr. Zöe enthusiastically uses your latest point as a segue into the final topic of the evening. He made that same point ten minutes ago. You just worded it differently—admittedly, more concisely, but somehow with a little more nuance, than when he had hesitantly proposed it—and, yeah, maybe you made it sound more convincing, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t come up with it first. If his stupid, fancy stylus didn’t cost upwards of $200 he might have snapped it in half.
You’re definitely the better conversationalist, that much he can admit. Words have never been his forte and he hates the way you can talk circles around him, and that there’s so little he can say to make you stop.
He wishes you would just shut up. In fact, he’d like to shut you up himself.
Thankfully, class ends sooner rather than later. Armin finds himself briefly talking with Dr. Zöe afterwards, most other students having taken the opportunity to leave early for the night. To nobody’s surprise, you’re not one of them, having stuck around to talk to the professor, too.
“The two of you should consider lab research this summer,” Dr. Zöe suggests ardently, walking between the two of you as you exit the lecture hall, “I could really use two students like you!”
Armin chuckles at his boisterous professor. He’s known about the research opportunities at their lab for quite some time now, and he knows that you have, too. “I don’t know that lab work is really my strong suit.”
The three of you come to stop at the hallway intersection, the professor now standing across from you and him. You give them a polite smile, “And I’m not sure that collaboration is mine.”
Armin spares a glance just in time to see you flash one of your own in his direction. Dr. Zöe’s eyes flicker between the two students rapidly, a slight squint to their eyelids.
They aren’t quite sure why their two brightest students seem to despise each other. They wish you two would just get along already, so that they don’t have to spend the summer training half-witted chemical engineering majors how to use basic lab equipment; and instead, conduct some actual research.
“Well, I hope the both of you reconsider,” they smile, “I’ll see you during office hours, I presume?”
You two nod in sync, sending the doctor off with happy smile, just long enough until you see that they’ve turned the corner further down the hall
“Had fun stealing my point earlier?” Armin questions, looking your way as you still wave mindlessly, eye-twitching at your polite façade.
“I would call it improvement,” you tell him, not bothering to turn in his direction; still and smiling waving like the professor can see or hear you, “You should stick to showing, rather than saying. You never were good with your words.”
Armin kisses his teeth together. He’ll give you what you want, if that’s how you want it.
In a fit of irritation, he grabs your moving hand by the wrist, and pulls you down the opposite hallway, not caring for your dramatic wailing behind him.
“Hey, Einstein, the exit is the other way, do you have any idea where we’re going?”
“Ever heard of observational learning? Maybe if you shut up for a second, you would figure it out,” he snaps, pulling you further.
There’s a door on the left that Armin knows is unlocked, and he’s quick to open it and pull you inside. Before you have the chance to glance around, he has you pushed up against the wall, jaw forced up and forward.
He could scoff at the small hitch in your breath at his actions, clearly a little too satisfied with being manhandled; but instead, he takes the opportunity to press your lips together. Armin quite likes the feeling of your lips on his; warm and soft and far too welcoming; a rare moment of silence.
“Someone could hear us.”
Or not so silent.
“Then be quiet,” he snarls.
Armin feels your fingers weave themselves into his hair, scraping along his undercut in sync with his lips trailing down your jaw. A groan falls from his when he feels you tug at the ends of the strands, just hard enough to force his face back to eye level with yours.
“You’re the one with the big mouth.”
“You’re so smart, huh. Always got something to say,” Armin lets out a low chuckle, deft fingers running down your sides to squeeze at your waist, “You can be really fuckin’ annoying, you know that.”
You mirror half of his ministrations, letting your right hand trail down his chest barely brushing over the very visible bulge in his jeans, before hooking your index finger under the belt loop, effectively pulling him closer to you.
The smile on your face is dirty, but you’re not laughing like he was, “Do something about it then.”
His blue eyes grow cloudy as he takes a good look at you; slowly rakes over your features, from that stupid, snarky look in your eyes, to your kiss-bruised lips, down to your chest, and back up again. Armin finds himself copying your smirk for all the wrong reasons. But it’s your own fault; you always did like to push him one step over the edge.
“Fine.”
Despite your twisted grin there’s a look in your eyes that’s eager; willing; ready for the taking. That same look you have when you talk over him in class; when you pretend to ignore him around your mutual friends; when you want him to fuck you stupid.
Armin uses his right hand to cup your jaw again, closing the distance between your mouths with a less than gentle kiss. He feels your groans reverberating through his body, waves of heat accompanying them and going straight to his erection. Your arch your back into the kiss, but he forces you backwards, left hand flat against your tummy.
Following suit, he pushes himself against your body, pressing his knee between your legs; the thin fabric of your stockings doing little to prevent your thighs from rubbing against him.
He swipes his tongue over the seam of your lips, earning a frenzied whine when glides his tongue across yours, and teasingly licks at the roof of your mouth. Your tongue is lithe against his, but somehow just as deceptive and sly as always, and Armin would be a fool to deny that he loved it.
There’s a spark flickering in his stomach when you push your center harshly against his; and it’s only ignited further when he feels you bite his bottom lip. A guttural growl escapes him, his right hand moving to your throat with practiced ease, pushing the back of your head into the wall.
He pauses for a moment, drinks in your wide eyes and desperate visage, “You are the single most frustrating person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”
And he couldn’t get enough of it if he tried. He couldn’t get enough of you.
You must see through his words, into the grainy expression of adoration in his eyes, because he can see it filtering into yours, pupils dilating with both want and care.
“Aw, baby, I love you, too,” you pout, leaning forward as best to can to peck him on the lips, “Now, shut me up and fuck me. It’s exhausting being this pretty and smart-mouthed, you know.”
Armin dips his head into your neck, squeezes against the column of your throat with warning until he hears a gasp escape from your lips. He presses gentle kisses into your skin, in stark contrast to the increasing pressure from his fingers, waiting for one last request, and then, finally—“Please.”
He smiles, loosens his grip for a moment, just long enough to hear your pretty panting, before slotting his lips against yours again. Your moans are lewd and sloppy and breathless between kisses, and it makes his dick twitch in his pants. You really are so fucking loud. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
He uses his free hand to push your skirt up, and subsequently dip past the weak barrier of your tights and underwear. The slightest flicker of his fingers against your center has you choking out a moan, and Armin is forced to press his right thumb harder against your neck.
“Quiet,” he reminds you, “You asked nicely, so I’ll give you what you want. No need to be loud about it.”
He watches you nod with short and restricted movements, a sadistic kind of power washing over him at your eager compliance. He uses his middle finger to rub slow, careful circles around your clit; the feeling of your wet cunt against his fingers, coupled with your wanton moaning only spurs on the throbbing in his pants.
“Armin,” you whine, impatiently; but he expected that of you, “Don’t tease.”
His eyes flash to yours briefly, pressing his lips to yours again to swallow your shuddered moans. He dips his tongue into your mouth at the same time he does his middle finger into your cunt. An obscene moan echoing through the classroom, as Armin feels your body arching into his again; feels your fingers frantically flying to his hair, searching for purchase to anchor yourself on.
He pulls away in time to add another digit and watch you groan underneath him. He pushes both his fingers in to the knuckle, carefully curling them upwards to elicit the prettiest sound out of you. He has to admit, it’s probably his favorite thing to hear come out of your mouth.
He keeps a steady pace, pumping his fingers in and out of your pussy with perfect friction, teetering between letting you moan his name and choking you silent. Your hands are frantic in his hair, grasping and pulling and so, so, desperate, Armin can’t help but to finger fuck you harder.
“You want one more?” he questions, but his voice is taunting, words ghosted over your lips just out of reach for you to kiss.
He can feel your leg trembling against his, see you pupils shaking along with your shaking head. Armin stops to smile; he thought you might do that. He could probably make you cry right now if he wanted to. Maybe later.
“Want you to fuck me,” your words short and ragged, eyebrows raised when he uses his thumb to press lightly against your clit, “Armin, please.”
The blonde shakes his head, “You’re dumber than you look if you think I’m gonna fuck you in a classroom, baby, so if you want to cum now, you better tell me.”
You have the audacity to pout of all things, “You’re mean.”
Armin lets out a breathless laugh. “You like it,” he leans forward to peck you sweetly, “So, what’ll it be?”
“Fine, but I want head later, too,” you tell him, words becoming less firm when Armin teases his ring finger against your slit, “Please.”
Armin hums in compliance, leaning forward to kiss you again, this time with more tact, and he chases your whines when he finally pushes a third finger inside of you.
“Look at you,” he croons breaking your kiss and forcing your head back again, “You take it so well.”
“Ah—fuck, there, Armin—there,” you cry, wet heat squeezing around his fingers in intermittent spasms.
Armin watches your chest heave with desperate breaths, air stuttering to pass from your lips to your lungs with his hand around your neck. He can feel your walls constricting around his fingers, feel your body shaking underneath him when he increases his pace. He curls his fingers again, just right, just until he hears you sing a strained call of his name. And when he feels your nails scraping down the nape of his neck, and the slight weight of your body convulsing, Armin knows you’re done for.
He’s nice enough to fuck you through your orgasm, shallow thrusts of his fingers bringing you to and down from your high as he watches you pant for him. He presses small kisses against your throat, up, up, up, until he’s kissing you, and carefully pulling his fingers out.
He removes his hand from your neck, and slides it down your waist to offer you support. He’s not prepared for your sudden pull on his neck, forcing him into a kiss that conveys your content; he’s quick to raise his left hand, palm meeting the wall to hold himself up against your sporadic actions, chuckling lightly into your kiss. You were always so reckless and happy after an orgasm.
You kiss him like you have him wrapped your finger despite being the one pleading moments ago. You do, so he supposes it’s not unwarranted; and he welcomes your flirtatious kisses despite the annoying blush they always bring forth.
And sure enough, he can feel his face on fire when you pull away. Armin scoffs internally at himself; he really should be able to keep it together around you by now. But when you kiss him like that, you kind of make it hard to think straight.
“You’re so good when you’re not… pretending to be good,” you hum, a blissful, hazy look on your features as you wrap your arms around his neck.
Armin shakes his head with a chortle of disbelief; leans forward to kiss you again, “’M not pretending. I am good.”
“Yeah, you’re such a good little saint that arguing with your girlfriend turns you on,” you taunt him, “It’s okay, Armin, you can admit it.”
He groans, out of shallow annoyance this time, and it makes you giggle. “Why are you acting like you’re not complicit in this?”
“Oh, no, no, no,” you refute with an exaggerated roll of your eyes, “You get turned on by hearing me talk about biochemistry. I like it when you tell me to shut up about it. We are not the same.”
“Yeah, because you look hot doing it,” he tells you, “Speaking of which, Eren called you hot today, so I kind of need you to slip a neurotoxin in his Gatorade.”
“Aw, Eren thinks I’m hot? Tell him I think he’s hot, too,” you bat your eyelashes at him, but Armin only offers you an unimpressed glare in return.
“I think he might be onto us, actually,” Armin notes, affectionately bumping his nose against yours.
“If he’s onto us, then it’s because you’re the one giving it away, not me.”
“Oh, because you could never do anything wrong, right?”
“Right,” you flash him an overconfident smile before reaching up to kiss to the tip of his nose, “See you’re so smart, baby.”
Armin shakes his head again in disbelief. You’re a handful, he can see that much.
“Come on,” he prompts, “We should go, I still have to finish my lab write up, and I know you haven’t started your paper.”
Armin tries to motion you forward, but is stopped when he feels your hand combing through his hair, and sees the genuine spark of concern in your eyes. “The one for your elective? I thought you said you were going to finish it on Monday.”
“I was,” Armin admits, “But then I didn’t.”
“You want me to help you with it?” you offer kindly, pushing his bangs back and letting your hands fall down the sides of his face, palms resting against his ears.
He nods gently, turning his head to press a kiss into your left palm, before wrapping his hand around your wrist, “I can help you outline your paper.”
You nod in return, and Armin spares one more kiss, before pulling your hand away to lace your fingers together.
Thankfully, nobody’s around to catch you exiting the classroom, or see you holding hands as you make your way out of the building and towards the bus stop. This was Armin’s favorite part of any Tuesday; the one time he could hold your hand on campus without the fear of getting caught by your friends.
He reasons that you guys should probably tell them soon, though, especially if Eren might have an idea of what’s going on. You were bound to get caught sooner rather than later. That, or Eren and Sasha would start meddling.
“If you think Eren knows, then Mikasa definitely knows,” you note, swinging your intertwined hands as you walk through the parking lot as a shortcut.
“Maybe if you actually remembered to hide Soup’s toys, there would be less evidence for her to piece together.”
“Yeah, well, maybe if you didn’t forget when your midterms are, I wouldn’t have to emergency cat sit the hour before Mikasa comes around, and there wouldn’t be any toys to hide in the first place.”
“I’m bad with dates, you know that!” Armin pouts, “I don’t say anything when you forget about ten page papers until four hours before they’re due.”
“You’re saying something right now, actually.”
“That’s not what I—you know, you’re so—”
Armin’s quiet when he feels your lips pressed against his cheekily, “Annoying. I know. You like it. You’re not very good at staying mad for very long.”
Armin’s tempted to roll his eyes yet again—he really needs to quit it, or at the very least, get your own temper under control before it’s irreversible and completely rubbed off on him—but takes the opportunity to kiss your forehead, instead.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Your eyes twinkle under his affections. “And that you love me?”
He nods, “And that I love you.”
“And that you’re gonna fuck me before you make me write my paper when we get home, right?”
Armin chuckles and presses another kiss to your forehead, “We’ll see about that one.”
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Hange huffs as they make their way through the parking. They always forget their keys in their office, and always, inconveniently park half-way across the campus. In their defense, this parking lot is free, and the one closest to the Medical Sciences building is not. So, really, capitalism is the one to blame for their frequent late night car lot strolls.
They hear two familiar voices bickering just as they’re about to step into their car, and are more than surprised to see their two favorite students walking together. Walking together and holding hands. Wait—you and Armin are walking together and holding hands?
Hange blinks for a moment, drowning out the sounds of the conversation after they see you two kiss. Their jaw practically falls to the asphalt and they might not blink for a full two minutes as they process what they just saw.
Their trance is broken when it finally, finally clicks together, and Hange has to try their hardest to contain their squeals before sitting in the driver’s seat, an overly forceful slam to the car door following. They waste no time fumbling with the pockets of their lab coat to fish out their phone, and make a call to their favorite math professor.
“Levi, I told you Arlert and (_____) had to know each other outside of class! I think they might be dating! You know what this means, right? I can have them both in the same lab without worrying they might start a chemical fire, and I won’t have to hire two brick heads this summer!”
Levi has never hung up a call more quickly in his life.
2K notes · View notes
palbabor-writes · 3 years
Text
Impetuous
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Adult language, SMUT/18+only, cunnilingus, switching, bratting, face-riding, Satoru being Satoru, so he’s chatty & in general the worst  
Words: 12,815
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“Knock it off,” you huff, doing your best to ignore how your breasts press against the flat planes of his chest. Then his fingers are under your chin, gently tipping your head up and leaning so close that his lips are inches from your own. 
“But what if I don’t want to?” he teases, his voice falling into a lower, hushed pitch before he relaxes his hold, letting you slip from his hands.
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Notes: this thing has been languishing in my drafts since like, January. because it was my first step away from BNHA i’ve sorta over analyzed it & edited it, likely to death. but anyway, without further ado, here is my first venture into the JJK fandom! thank you for edits & suggestions: @albinoburrito, @kugutsuu​, @kogo​ & everyone else that i’ve forced to look at this thing. love you all sm & ty for putting up with me!
& it’s gojo because of course it fucking is. 
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Impetuous im·pet·u·ous /imˈpeCH(o͞o)əs/ adjective done quickly
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“I hate to be a harbinger of bad news, and I can understand your frustration, but that’s what they asked me to do. Doesn’t matter what continent we’re on, elders are elders. Honestly, I’m a little shocked that this teaching pathway is even an option for him.” Although you speak softly, your voice seems to carry more in these close meeting rooms, clattering off the tatami mats and gleaming leather couches.   
Yaga massages the bridge of his nose and adjusts his dark sunglasses before lifting his eyes to yours. “I understand, but I still feel that he would be an asset to our school. As long as his motivations remain pure, that’s all I can ask for, at present.”
“Pure or not,” you continue, lacing your fingers as you cross one leg over the other. “It’s vital to see how he handles himself on these missions. What if he has a student with him? I’ve never seen his fighting style, but I’ve heard he can be reckless. How can he foster confidence and proper growth if he’s not measured on the basics? There’s the additional worry of taking him off of the higher ranked missions. Or, if you elect to keep sending him on them, can he handle both? Can he teach and still be a successful sorcerer and asset?”
“He’ll be expected to do both. He knows this,” Yaga sighs, reaching for his lukewarm cup of tea. “While he’s not known for his conventionality, I don’t think that will interfere with his teaching. As I said, some recent events at the school have helped to illuminate the importance of managing the coming generation. Satoru is confident, and I believe that will translate well to any future students. He’s already taken on some responsibility with young Fushiguro and the boy is doing well under his instruction.”
“Fushiguro?” you ponder. Your school administration and the head elders had given you a list of names, people who represented the top families among Japan’s sorcerers, but you don’t remember seeing a name like Fushiguro among the others.
“He’s related to the Zen’in family,” Yaga explains, spreading his vast hands open as he replaces his tea cup against the low table that rests between the two of you. “So, if I’m understanding correctly, your superiors in America have sent you to Japan to collect a series of reports. One is on the influence of curses and how our alumni comport themselves in the field. The other is the analysis of our teaching styles and to, how did you put it, ‘further diversify your own teaching abilities as a jujutsu educator.’ And, as if that wasn’t possibly enough, to observe our newest teaching candidate, Satoru Gojo.” 
“In a nutshell,” you confirm, a smile quirking the edge of your lips. “We’ve got some missions lined up, right?”
“Yes. You will enter the field with Satoru and one other returning alumna, Shoko Ieiri. She’s finished her medical degree and will join our research facilities in the coming weeks.”
“Oh! She’s the one who can use the reverse healing technique! I’ve heard of her.”
“Yes. She was in Satoru’s class. I realize your report is the main aim that you have here, but I would ask that you keep an open mind. While your report is of value to our school, it will not affect my decision on the matter.”
You lean against the stiff cushions of the couch and cock your head at Yaga’s impassive expression. “Of course,” you assure him, noting that nothing in his outward appearance shifts as you give him the response he was waiting for. “Should be an interesting week, at the very least.”
“Oh,” Yaga replies, finally cracking a less than reassuring grin. “Satoru will make sure of that.”
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“Hey! (L/N)-san! The next report is up and they’re sending a manager for us, hurry up! Stop scribbling things in that little notebook. What are you writing anyway? Is it some kinda biography? Oooh! Is it on me? Is that why you keep looking at me? It is, isn’t it? Ahh, now I’m gonna feel self-conscious.”
You snap your notepad closed and slip it into your hip pouch, stepping toward the two fellow members of your team. “It’s just routine notes and you don’t need to call me (L/N)-san. I realize it’s likely force of habit, but please, just call me (Y/N).”
“Ahhh! We’re already on a first name basis! I’m blushing. I’ve never had a girl be this forward with me!” Satoru sighs, clapping his hands against his cheeks and leaning over you. “You’re so bold!”
“Ugh,” you scoff, rolling your eyes at him. “Liar, and stop that. I’m still the senior sorcerer in this party. I–”
“But you’re just a grade 1,” he interrupts, bracing his hands on his hips and exaggerating his stance, moving his face close to yours. As he looms ever nearer, you raise your chin and hold your ground. This invasion of personal space is a tactic he loves to use. 
At first, you’d figured he was just another one of those guys who weren’t aware how intimidating their sheer height and presence came off to others. However, as the days wore on, you noticed his intentional maneuvering. He would press at Shoko too, but she was better at ignoring him, so he soon turned his full attention to you.
“Yeah, I might only be a grade 1, but they have given me the command on all of our missions. It’s my job to file the reports, a task that you, as the technical ‘junior party’, aren’t trusted to do.”
“You’re so right! That’s a tremendous responsibility. How do you stand under all that pressure (Y/N)! The role of the pencil pusher is such a big job. I should act right! Or I’ll never be a real jujutsu sorcerer! God, look at this Shoko, we need to get our shit together! At this rate, we’ll never be able to file our own reports!”
“Now, now,” you tut, raising a finger in front of your face, forcing him to take a subconscious step backwards. “Watch what you say, after all, you’re wanting to become a teacher. So some part of the masochism of endless paperwork must appeal to you.” 
Satoru’s smooth lips raise into a broad smirk and pulls away, arching his arms behind his pale head. “Hmm, I’ll give you that one (Y/N). Mainly because of your choice of wording. Masochism. What a word for it. And why’d you have to say it so straight faced? Oh, that reminds me, what time is our next mission at?”
“Uh, why did masochism remind you of that?” you pause, lifting your wrist so you can check the time on your watch. “I think it’s in two hours, give or take traffic.”
“Hmm, and it’s in the Chiba district?”
“Yeah, that’s in Tokyo, right?”
“It is,” Shoko chimes in, twirling a lock of her long brown hair between two of her fingers. Her low voice reminds you, and you turn to face her. “Speaking of names, I never asked, would you prefer Shoko or Ieiri?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she replies, lifting her tawny eyes to yours, catching some of the bright sunlight as it fades into the deep circles under her eyelids. The contrast makes her skin look even more pallid. “First name, last name, whatever is easier.”
“Shoko okay with you then?”
“Sure,” she nods, the ghost of a smile lifting her lips. 
“Oi!” Satoru interrupts, slinging an arm over Shoko’s shoulder and fixing you with a pointed look. Or you assume he is, it’s hard to tell where he’s looking because of those white strips of cloth that obscure his eyes. “You know what’s in Chiba, don’t you?”
You blink at him, unsure if this is another one of his aimless questions or something genuine. “No. Should I?”
“You’re a tourist and you really don’t know what’s in–”
“We’ve already been over this Satoru; I am not a tourist,” you protest. “I’m here on official business from my administration to–”
“Yeah, yeah. Look, special, ‘top secret’ assignment or not, you’re still basically a tourist because it’s your first time to Japan. You’re honestly telling me you didn’t look up anything before you arrived?”
“Um,” you waver, eyes narrowing at the cheerful leer that’s drifting over Satoru’s angular features. “I looked up some basic things. I know about the Shinjuku and Roppongi districts. Oh, and Harajuku, that’s a big one too.”
“Mmhm, very good, my little tourist, but do you know what’s in the Chiba district?”
“Don’t call me that and stop screwing around Satoru. If this has nothing to do with the mission, then I’m not interested. I could care less what’s in the district–”
“Might just be rumors, but I’ve been hearing about an increase in cursed activity. Especially around that theme park. I’m sure you’ve heard of it,” he looks upward, pearlescent hair tumbling behind his wrappings. “I guess it’s not surprising that it’s a hot spot, what with all the people who are always checking it out. It’s pretty famous.” 
Tch. He’s not gonna tell you. 
You suck your teeth and twist your hand back to your hip pouch, digging for your phone. As you peer over the search results you can hear him rambling on about the notoriety of the unnamed place but as soon as you hit the second result, your head whips back up. 
There’s no way. 
Of course you’d heard of it, you’d even thought about it when the higher ups asked you to take on the assignment to Japan, but never, not in a million years, would you have figured that you’d have a chance to go. Not on this trip.
“Are you serious?” you breathe, blinking up at his smug face. Satoru doesn’t answer, just pops one hand under his chin and gives you a shit-eating grin. You look back at your phone and bite your lip, doing your best to contain your budding excitement, double checking the map for the district.
If he’s not pulling some kind of elaborate joke, it looks like Tokyo Disneyland is the location of your next mission.
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“What… what the fuck is this, some kinda elaborate joke??” 
The gates to the amusement park are warped, and the paint is peeling; one side looks like it’s about to melt off of the frame, all twisted metal and faded rust. Just past the gates you can see what looks like an old merry-go-round, complete with lions, tigers, bears and several sets of horses. At the tip-top of the ride rest a star, and atop that star is a wraith like curse. It spindles around the flecks of gold and cool bronze, baring its teeth at the three of you and sputtering a long line of broken speech as it twists and turns. 
“Huh, still looks about the same. This place was enormous when I was a kid. Now it’s a trendy spot for ghost hunters and thrill seekers! I think five or six people died here last year.” Satoru grins, tucking his hands into his pockets as he strides forward. In seconds, he’s beside the curse on the merry-go-round, silencing chittering of its inane dialogue, letting an eerie quiet seep over the rest of the abandoned grounds.
“So stupid. I cannot believe I let him make me think we were going to Disneyland. You know what he’s like, Shoko! Why didn’t you tell me? He–”
“I honestly don’t listen to him. No idea he was making you think this was Tokyo Disney,” Shoko interrupts, already following the path Satoru took, tucking her brown hair behind her neck with a loose hair tie. “But since we’re here, could you lower the curtain and take care of those level 2 curses on the ticket booth?”
You let out a long sigh and toss her a quick affirmative, reciting the familiar incantation, watching as the darkening shield slopes its way down from the skies, sheltering the three of you within its haze.
The first set of curses are easy enough and you swiftly take care of them, unleashing your cursed technique and splicing them into faded dust. How ridiculous, you think, opening the door to the booth and dodging an ill timed lunge from a sneakier curse who was hiding inside. Satoru honestly had you thinking that you’d be going to the Disneyland theme park. On the way over, he’d even told you about the layout of the park and what potential curses might be lurking about. 
What a jerk. 
Still, you muse, turning toward another shrieking hulk of a curse that’s lumbering toward you, it’s impressive he’d led you on so easily. You make a mental note to get back at him later, for now you need to clear this area and focus on the task at hand. 
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“I cannot believe that you led me on like that!” you pout, knocking back a small swig of beer.
“Pfft,” Satoru chuckles, wagging one long finger at you. “Didn’t ever say it was gonna be Disneyland, did I? You came to that conclusion all on your own.”
“Oh please! Making me look up what ‘famous tourist spots are in Chiba’ and then nodding each time I said I was excited to see some of the rides on the way over.”
“You could have really been into haunted carnivals. How was I supposed to know?”
“Ass,” you snap playfully, sticking your tongue out at his pleased smile. 
After the mission and spotting your peeved expression, Satoru had insisted that you let him take the two of you out for a drink. According to Shoko, the bar in this neighborhood was highly rated and had some of the best specials in the entire district. 
The place was packed; but somehow Shoko had secured three seats up at the bar top, ushering you to sit between her and Satoru, informing you there must always be a three foot buffer between her and ‘that loser’. The bartender seemed to know her and, before you could pull yourself into the worn leather seat, three foaming lagers were passed across the rough surface of the bar top, one for each of you. 
“Thanks,” you’d murmured, cupping your hands around the glass. On your right, Satoru pushed his lager toward you, raising two fingers at the distracted barkeep as he chatted with Shoko. “What’s wrong? Don’t like beer?” you’d asked, bemused by his disgruntled expression. 
“Nah,” he’d confirmed, wagging his digits a little faster, chin lifting as he let out a huffed exhale. “Messes with my eyes. I want something to eat, though. Hey! Shoko! Stop flirting with him and ask if they have anything sweet! Shokooo! Don’t ignore me!”
Shoko made a show of rolling her eyes but, a few minutes later, a plate of piping hot fried sweet buns appeared and he’d swiftly grabbed up one, popping it in his mouth and smacking it hungrily. You’d turned to ask Shoko what they were, but by the time you’d twisted back to Satoru over half of the cakes were gone. 
“Damn, you inhaled them,” you’d exhaled, a little shocked he could scarf them down that quickly.
“Well, they’re not bad and hit the spot, for now,” he’d grinned. “Want one?”
“I’m good. You might bite my finger if I get too close… mistake it for one of the buns…”
“Awe, what’s wrong? Think you wouldn’t taste good?”
“Yikes,” you laugh and Satoru hums, clearly pleased with your genuine mirth.
Shoko, who was soon engrossed in conversation with a few of the other patrons to the left of her, kept ordering rounds for the both of you. To keep up, you diligently sipped at each fresh beer, careful to keep abreast of the thrum of the alcohol with several responsible swigs of water. Satoru seemed content with his small order of sweets and peppered you with questions about life in America. He asked about what grade year you taught, the ins and outs of curses within the states and how you liked Japan. He kept things lively and made a point to throw in a few lighthearted jokes at you, beaming each time you laughed at his barbs. 
“So, what you’re saying is there’s no one in America quite like me?” he teases, stretching his long arms dramatically before leaning closer to you.
“Stop that! You’re gonna hit someone,” you grin, trying to shove at his side, watching as your hand freezes in midair, held off by his limitless technique. “Seriously? You’ve still got that on?”
“Mmhm,” Satoru intones. “24/7, 365!”
“You would,” you try to jostle him again, bemused by the fraying and shimmering sliver of infinity that rests between the two of you.
“It’s a tremendous strain on my brain, you know,” he bemoans, dropping his head and fixing a long frown over his lips.
“You deserve it.”
“Ack!” Satoru cries out, clutching at his heart. “Wow! No sympathy! You really gonna treat me like this? My senpai?”
“May I remind you - Tokyo Disneyland,” you intone, glaring at his haggard expression. 
“WOW. You’re never gonna let that go, huh?” Satoru cracks a face, arching his mouth and hollowing his cheeks, letting a high pitched, cracked voice leech from his lips. “Ahhh, that damned man! He deprived me of my dreams! The chance to see Tokyo Disneyland, one last time!”
“What is that? Me? But… old?”
“Pretty good, right?”
“No.”
“Well, I think it was uncanny!” he crows, nodding.
“What in your warped mind makes you think I’ll sound anything like that when I’m old?” you ask, pushing your empty beer pint forward as you purse your lips. 
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so excited over the idea of a theme park,” he ponders, tapping a bent index finger against his smooth chin. “Don’t you guys have them in the states? The Disney parks, I mean.”
“We do, we have two. But, since you made me think we were coming to Tokyo Disneyland, I looked up some rides,” you snatch your phone from the counter, scrolling through a few photos before you land on the right one. “Ah! Here it is! Look at this! See?” you chirp, pushing the gleaming screen of your phone toward him.
“Uh. What am I looking at?”
“It’s the Tower of Terror!”
“Which is… ummm… a ride?”
“Yeah? And look at it! It’s upside down! I don’t think the one in America does that,” your finger reaches toward your phone and you blow up the closest image, tapping at the bright colors. Satoru laughs and waves a hand up, attracting the bartender once more and gesturing for another beer for you. “Imma get you another drink, you’re fun like this, plus, you’re just too cute with that little smile.”
You miss his last comment, wholly focused on finding another set of images. “Oh my God! Look! During Halloween they have a night parade in front of it! And… ahhh! Satoru! There’s a green ghost at the top! It’s almost like that curse we saw tonight at the carnival!” 
His long fingers snatch up your bright device, and he yanks it away from your wide eyes. “Ok, that’s enough of that. I’m worried you might end up cursing me for not taking you.”
You give him a sour look and vainly try to grab your phone back, fingers unable to pass through his unseen barrier. “What? No fair! I still don’t understand how you can always have this up!”
“Practice,” he taunts, shaking his head at your determination and wandering touch, chuckling each time you bounce off of his cursed technique. “On another note,” he begins as your new lager is placed in front of you. “What’s in that report that you’re working on?”
You decide to ignore the fact that he’s still holding your phone and cautiously sip past the foam of your fresh beer, peering up at him, studying the lines of his white cloth. It doesn’t tell you much, so you look at his lips instead. They’re pale, but they’re held in a serious line, so you carefully construct your response. “What makes you think I have a report?”
“Why else would you be here?” Satoru counters, rapping his nails against the warped wood of the bar top. “I know you met with Yaga and you’re too cautious and overpowered to be sent on missions with Shoko and me. So you must be here for something else.”
“Officially,” you concede, “I’m here to observe the teaching techniques and skills of the alumni of your school. I’m sure this will come as no shock, but curses are getting more powerful, both here and overseas, and we’re doing our best to keep ahead of those changes. I’m supposed to pick up what tricks I can and bring them back home, to see how we can implement it.”
“Reasonable,” he allows, spreading his fingers before coiling them under his palms again. “But that’s not everything, is it?”
No, you think it’s not. 
You lower your beer and look over at him. He’s braced himself against the bar and his head is dipped so his chin is almost against his breastbone. He doesn’t exactly look dejected, but you can see that he’s thinking deeply and something about that openness makes your heart squeeze. He looks a bit like a kicked puppy. 
Ugh, he’s not a bad guy. He’s funny, and he knows what he’s doing, plus he has the confidence to get where he needs to go. In all honesty, he wouldn’t make a terrible teacher. Maybe not the best, but he certainly wouldn’t be the worst. 
“I–there… there’s some concern you’d be too divided - that it’s not practical to have you teach and go on missions. I also don’t think your own elders trust you much.”
“Ah-ha!” Satoru beams, springing upward and pointing two finger guns at you. “You are here to look in on me! Knew it!”
You can’t help but laugh at him. “Fine, fine, you got me. Let’s get this over with, huh? So we can get back to talking about things other than work, I liked that. What’s the most direct thing I can ask? Hmm, oh! I’ll start with something easy–Why do you want to teach?”
“That’s easy?” he whines, head falling again. 
“It’s straightforward,” you bargain, propping your chin on your fist, looking him over. 
“Sure, let’s pretend that’s not a deceptively loaded question! Alright, well, it’s the best way to change things.”
“Change things?”
“Yup. Like you mentioned, lately curses have become more powerful and lately it feels like I’m the only one who’s being sent on these high-level missions. Frankly, it’s stupid to rely on just me that much, you know? That’s not practical, or even realistic. So, to my mind, it’s vital I throw my support behind some of these up-and-coming kids. You know, foster the next generation and all that. I want reliable allies in the field and to have that, I’ve gotta make sure they’re taught right. Give them everything I know, make them better than me, stronger than me.” 
You’re quiet for a long breath, eyes wide, fingers frozen around your glass, which was midway to your lips. “Damn,” you smile, letting the word hang. “You know, that was actually a pretty good answer.”
Satoru clicks his tongue and curls his lips in a grimace. “Don’t sound so surprised.” 
“I mean,” you chuckle and look up at him, eyes bright. “Well, your attitude doesn’t always inspire confidence.” 
“Ahhhhhh,” he groans, thumping his covered forehead against the bar. “Such a low blow! Bartender! Another round for me!”
“Please,” you sigh, finally taking a sip of your beer. “Do not call your sweet buns ‘another round.’” He grins at you and leans across the bar top, shifting his weight toward your bent arm. The pressure of his shoulder is warm and you nudge at him a little, playfully. He tuts at you but continues to stare ahead, a faint smile teasing the edge of his lips. 
As the bartender slides the requested plate of sweets down, you suddenly realize that you’re touching him. Your eyes widen and you slowly turn your head toward his. He’s not looking at you, content with chewing on his sweet bread, but he’s still braced against you. It’s like all of your senses are finely tuned to that one spot of faint friction between the two of you. You can feel the lines of his muscled arm as he shifts and you involuntarily gulp, doing your best to ignore the abrupt thudding of your heart. 
He said he always kept it up, didn’t he? Something about 24/7 and all the days of the year, so why is he…
“Hey,” Shoko’s voice startles you and you instinctively slide closer to Satoru, arm dragging against his shoulder as you try to right yourself again. “I’m gonna go win this drinking contest these guys have started. You two sticking around for a bit?”
“Uh,” you begin, but Satoru cuts you off, draping an arm over the back of your chair. “Yeah, we’ll be here. What are the stakes?”
“Not sure. But the pot is likely against me, if you’re in a betting mood.”
“Sure, I’ll put 20,000 yen on you.”
“Is…” you start, but Shoko is already walking off, one arm pumped into the air as she shoulders her way to the long table that’s filled with five or six others, all of them holding a full pint glass of beer between their hands. You turn back to Satoru and let out a long breath. “Is that safe?”
“Huh?” he asks, face close to yours. You can smell his cologne from here and the heady scent of him and crisp patchouli fills your senses. “I mean Shoko, will she be ok?” you elaborate, eyes studying the space where his own would be, silently hoping that he’ll pull down the barrier that covers half of him from your curious gaze. 
“Ah,” he nods sagely, leaning back a little to look out at where Shoko is sitting, quietly waiting for the start of the game with her full beer. “She’s got a ridiculously high tolerance. Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s part of her cursed technique. She’ll be fine.”
“True, she likely knows the limits of the human body better than anyone else. But… I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so… excited?” you muse, sitting against your chair and running into the flat palm of Satoru’s hand. For a moment, you debate shifting away, but he’s not really doing anything, just letting the tips of his fingers rest against the curve of your spine, tapping a disjointed rhythm as he watches the start of the contest, that all too familiar smile still tugging at the corners of his lips. 
“She used to be a little more laid back, you know?” he replies, leaning a little harder into your side as he lowers his voice, keeping close to your ear so you can hear him. “She always looks so tired now and her whole outlook has changed, but I suppose four years of med school will do that to you. Although, I did hear that she cheated her way out.”
“No!” you gasp, eyebrows lifted in shock. Satoru laughs, and for once, you’re not thinking it might be at your expense. “Yeah! Just the word on the street. But I wouldn’t put it past her. Shoko’s always done her best to avoid things, namely confrontation or extra work, so it makes sense she’d jet outta med school as fast as she could too.”
“That’s crazy and frankly, terrifying.”
“Riiight?” he shivers, lips raising in an exaggerated wince. “But that’s our Shoko. I’ve got a feeling she’ll do well at the school and I’m grateful I’ll have time to work with her again. It’s been way too long…” Satoru trails off and you can feel his hand slip up your back, fingers ghosting over your shoulder blades.
“Stop that,” you scold, shaking him off with a quick jolt and twisting around to look at his roguish smirk. “What happened to always maintaining your barrier?”
“Awe” he groans, dunking his head against your shoulder with a thump. “Come on, I’ve gotta win you over somehow!”
“Are you serious?”
“Well, I mean, I want the job.”
“I’m gonna hit you,” you threaten, doing your best to keep your bubbling amusement contained. 
“Try it,” he taunts, lifting his head and keeping his face close. His nose is inches from yours and you can barely make out his sharp grin, but you can feel the drag and pull of his breath as it passes over you, leaving a lingering sweetness against your skin. Instantly, your hand lifts to him, fully intent on shoving him back, but you can’t move any closer, trapped by the sudden emergence of his infinity. 
“Ass,” you prickle, shaking your head at his antics. Another peal of laughter falls from his soft lips and you can’t help but smile back, caught up in his infectious joviality. “Tch. Don’t make me find more Tokyo Disney pictures.”
“You can’t,” he informs you, cocking his head at your confusion. “I still have your phone.”
“Hey! Give that back!” you gasp, snatching blindly at him. He shifts back into his seat and yanks your device out of his pocket, waggling it tauntingly in front of you. “Uh-uh! Gotta get past the barrier first!”
“That’s not fair!”
“Never said that I’d make this… oh! Shoko! How did it go? Win me something?”
You twist and spot Shoko’s dark head approaching the two of you. She pauses beside Satoru and flips a large stack of bills down on the bar top, a wide grin on her usually impassive face. “As expected, I won. Here’s your cut, Satoru. Don’t spend it all in one place or on another order of sweet buns, would you? Think you can do that for me?” 
She and Satoru bicker back and forth playfully as you unfold several of the notes, aimlessly organizing them on the countertop as their brisk conversation winds back down.
“So,” Shoko murmurs, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her back pocket and knocking one free from the carton. “You two gonna head out soon? I don’t really see a need to call one of the managers, the school’s close by and so is (Y/N)’s hotel.” 
“Yeah,” Satoru replies, finally passing your phone back as he collects the neatly stacked set of yen from you. “Figured, I’d see her back.”
“I can find it!” you protest, jamming your phone safely into your pouch once more.
“Sure,” he mocks, arching toward you as he braces an elbow against the bar. “You can barely speak Japanese and I know you can’t read much kanji, but sure thing, let’s let you loose in the city. See how far you make it before you’re calling one of us, hmm?”
“That’s not… I–”
“Yeah, yeah,” Satoru waves his hand back and forth and turns back to Shoko. “I’ll let her finish her drink and then we’ll head out. See you tomorrow?”
Shoko nods at his question and, for a moment, you think you spy a knowing look pass between the two of them, but before you can call out to her, Shoko is already making her way toward the door.
“What was that?” you ask, eyes narrowed as Satoru looks down at you, white hair gleaming under the low lights. “What?” he asks innocently, propping his chin onto his open palm. “That look that the two of you just gave each other.”
“No idea what you’re talking about. You sure that beer didn’t hit you a little too hard?”
“Ugh, shut up.”
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Despite it being late August, a cool breeze greets the two of you when you step out of the bar. “It’s so nice out,” you comment, readjusting your boots as you hop onto the sidewalk. 
“Mmhm,” he agrees, bracing his arms behind his head as you make your way down the street. “So did you decide what you’re gonna write in your report?”
You glance up at him and make sure he can see you rolling your eyes. “Back to trying to butter me up?”
“Never! Just asking. If you wanna say I’m crazy and can’t be trusted, that’s fine. I can think of a few others who’d agree with you.” 
“Oh? Who?”
“Most people,” he laughs, stepping a little nearer and bumping against you, shocking you with the actual weight and warmth of his body again. As you continue on, you lift your hand to his arm and press the pad of your finger against his sleeve. This time, nothing bars your way so you run the digit slowly along his arm, smiling when he shivers and bats you away. 
“Stop that! Someone’s gonna see and think you’re taking advantage of me!”
The laugh that explodes from your chest at that mental image makes you stop dead in your tracks, arms lacing around your shaking stomach. Satoru scoffs at your bent figure and leans down, shaking his head at your guffawing.
 “The… the… fact that you… think that anyone… would think that… I–” 
“You’re lucky your laugh is so cute,” he muses, bracing his arms over your bent back, playfully pinning you down as he crosses his forearms.
“Hey!” you protest, squirming under his hold. “Let me up!”
“Tell me what you’ve written about me!” he threatens, chuckling as you squirm under him.
“I only said that Satoru Gojo is an absolute monster and shouldn’t be trusted with anyone’s future,” you cry out, overly pantomiming your overwrought expressions, peeking up at him from under his laced arms.
“Oh? Just that? Well, you’re right. So, fair is fair!” Satoru replies, slipping off of you so fast that you nearly tumble to the hard concrete. Half a beat later, he’s back in front of you and lifting you back to your full height, fingers soothing over your arms as he tugs you toward him. “Would it kill you to toss in a bit of praise? Talk about my undeniable prowess and skill? Wax poetic about my stunning efficiency? You know, make them think that I’ve won you over with my charms. After all, you can’t resist me, can you?”
“Knock it off,” you huff, doing your best to ignore how your breasts press against the flat planes of his chest. Then his fingers are under your chin, gently tipping your head up and leaning so close that his lips are inches from your own. 
“But what if I don’t want to?” he teases, his voice falling into a lower, hushed pitch before he relaxes his hold, letting you slip from his hands.
A distant quake dashes up your spine, but it’s not from the chill in the air. “Uh, you sure you didn’t sneak some shots under the table? The way you’re pawing at me, you’d think you were the one in the drinking contest.”  
“Nah, I told you, I don’t drink. Messes with my eyes.” Satoru pats his index finger against his white wrappings for emphasis.
“Mmm, the six eyes, right? Powerful ability, from what little I’ve heard of it.”
“Yeah,” he hums. “It’s a rare technique. Wanna see?”
You’d walked on, but once the question leaves his lips your feet swivel back, as if they have a mind of their own. He’s standing where he was, hands dug into the pockets of his pants, a lazy smile resting on his lips. The moonlight makes his hair shine, and the gleam is bright against the darkness of the street. The glow makes him look taller, imposing. He’s quiet as he waits for your answer and you take advantage of the extra time to mull over the strange man in front of you. 
He’s enigmatic; a force to be reckoned with, for curses and fellow sorcerers alike and, like most jujutsu users, a little crazy. Even knowing all of this, there’s something about him that’s drawing you in. It’s like the pull of a magnet. It tugs at the forefront of your mind and makes you step closer, wanting to see if you can unravel the puzzle that’s Satoru Gojo. 
“Fine,” you hear yourself reply, crossing your arms, steadfastly watching for his next move. “Go on. Let me see what all the hype is about.”
He grins and that mischievous look makes your heart beat race against your breastbone as yet another quake slips up your back. “Ready?” he asks, right thumb hooking under the fabric that covers his eyes. You nod once and the pad of his finger starts that short, upward, pull. 
He’s slow, painfully slow, in his unveiling. 
The smooth angle of his upper cheek peeks out, and he’s careful to roll up the white cloth as he goes. Then, right as he hits the groove of his lower eye, he stops, a frown pulling over his lips. “Mmm, I don’t know…” he contemplates, holding his thumb under his wrappings. “What if I don’t live up to your expectations? Can’t let you down. Not when you’ve been so patient. I know you’ve been wanting to ask, I can see it in your face. Every time we’d start an exorcism you’d look at me, like you were waiting, watching to see if I’d finally take off the coverings.”
Did you? 
Does it matter?
Do you want it to matter?
Flabbergasted by his all too true accusations and entirely eaten up with curiosity, you march up to him and wrap your fingers around his raised wrist, not noticing that you’re actually touching him and completely unaware of the alluring smile he flashes when your hand coils around his. “Ugh, come on! For once in your life, stop being such a tease! You’re never fair, always so… so pompous and… and–”
You’d shoved his hand upward as you began your preamble but as soon as the tightly wrapped cloth passed over his right eye you feel your breath leave your tensed body. 
His eyelashes are pale, the same ashen color as his hair, but they contrast beautifully with the lone eye that peers down. Beautiful? No, it’s more than that. It’s… it’s…
Truthfully, it’s indescribable and unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
It’s blue; but it’s not an ordinary shade. No, the color seems to meld and shift before your shocked gaze, drifting from hue to hue as the color deepens and lightens. Clouds. It’s like clouds passing over a summer sky. The brightness of the cerulean ensnares you, and you can feel your mouth go dry as you stare up at him. 
His eyes are stunning, perfect, and irresistible, hauntingly so.
“So, what do you think?” Satoru asks, pulling his wrist from your grasp and snatching your limp hand in his, twining his long fingers between your own. His skin is warm and you need to say something, anything, but your mind is stuttering, lagging miles behind as you fall headfirst into the overwhelming pull of his presence. 
Finally, you unstick part of your tongue. 
“They’re… uh… I don’t… ha… God…” You shake your head roughly and the familiarity of that motion slips out of the trance he’s placed you under. As soon as you can think again, you jerk your hand from his and blindly walk down the darkened street. Your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest and you can’t stop nibbling on your lower lip. 
It’s not… this isn’t how this is supposed to go, you think, trying vainly to get the shine of Satoru’s eyes out of your mind.
“Never answered my question,” Satoru coos beside you, his long legs quickly catching up with you. “What’s wrong? You like em’ a little too much?… Or…” 
“They… they’re kinda creepy,” you blurt out, fingers curling into your palms. 
“Creepy!” he gasps, hopping in front of you and lifting up both sides of his wrappings, granting you a peek of both eyes. You do your best to avoid looking at him head on, turning and weaving from him, but he dances closer each time you shift. Damn it. His animated performance makes you exhale a quiet chuckle, and he takes your amusement as a sign to continue, constantly placing himself in your way with a broad grin. 
“Stop!” you plead, openly laughing at his sudden burst of silliness. “Now you’re acting like a creep! Satoru! Don’t! Stop showing them to me! You’re losing all of your appeal! Isn’t part of your charm the mystery? Actually, that’s likely all of your charm. Come on, stop it, there’s a cop on that street corner, he’s gonna think you’re drunk and harassing me!”
“Whaaat!” Satoru gulps, whipping his head around to look at the tired policemen that’s leaning against a dim street lamp. “Oh no! The police! Quick (Y/N), before he spots us!” His long fingers snatch up your pliant wrist and he tugs you into a dark alleyway. 
“Hey! Where are you taking me? Officer!” you call out playfully as you balefully follow him, dragging your feet along the dusty ground. “He’s over here! Help!”
“Oi! Knock it off! You wanna get me arrested?”
“Oh please, there’s no way that guy is about to follow–”
“Shit! Shhh, he’s coming this way! Come on!” The sheer force of his grip yanks you forward and you stumble after him. He takes the corner of the next alleyway and the pair of you dash along the wet patches that litter the broken concrete. He’s moving at a tremendous speed, but his feet barely make a noise as he glides over the grimy ground and it takes everything you’ve got to just hold on and keep up.  
A few twists and turns later, you can finally see the bright lights of the busy street that your hotel is on and you feel a heavy exhale of relief leave your burning lungs. Satoru skids to a halt right before he tumbles onto the safety of the sidewalk that rests a few paces ahead and pulls you beside him, grinning down at you as you try to catch your breath. 
“I think we lost him!” he beams and you suck your teeth as you bend over, hands bracing themselves against your knees. “There…there’s no… he wasn’t actually chasing us. Even if he was, I doubt he can catch up now….” your voice trails off as you hear a distant shout from the alleyway and the thud of heavy boots. 
No. There’s no way you think dumbly as you stare into the darkness, eyes searching for movement. 
“See? I told you he was on to us. He’ll see us if he comes this way. What if… Oooh, lemme try something,” Satoru’s broad hands grab at you and he swiftly maneuvers you against the damp brick of the nearest building, careful not to scrape your back as he pushes you against the rust colored siding. “Just play along, I doubt he’ll notice. Don’t give me that look, it’s your fault he’s following us!”
“My fault? I didn’t… oh–”
His lips are sleeker than you’d imagined. 
That first, teasing kiss he gives you already has you lifting your head, following the beguiling smoothness of his mouth, silently asking him for another caress. When he leans down your hands bunch into the dark fabric of his uniform and you can feel his smile against your slackened lips. He doesn’t touch you; his fingers don’t wander to the back of your jaw or the dip of your skull, instead he opts to flatten his angles against your curves, pressing until you can’t feel anything but him. 
The next kiss he gives you has a little more bite behind it, literally. 
His sharp nose bumps your cheek and his teeth worry against the plush swell of your lower lip, sucking and nipping until you’re snatching for his shoulders, searching for some kind of leverage. His mouth parts and right when you think he’s about to deepen his strokes and teasing pecks, he leans back and cocks his head at your flustered expression. “I’ve always wanted to try that,” he tells you, bracing one of his arms above your head. “It looks so fun in the movies.”
That cop could be right behind him, could be waiting for you both to stop your ridiculous routine and face the harsh gleam of reality, but you don’t care, not right now. 
Your hands had fallen from him when he pulled back, and the absence of his warmth makes you desperate to touch him again. But, when you snatch at the corners of his dark jacket, you’re met with that damned barrier. 
“Really?” you bemoan, licking at your kiss slick lips, trying again. “You’re the worst, you know that? You let me get used to the idea of having access to you and then just cut it–mmmph…” 
With a faint shudder of space, his barrier is lowered once more and his lips are back against yours. This time, his hands join in and he cups his fingers behind your ears, tilting you up as he glides his soft touch over you until you’re groaning. 
“Could have just told me you wanted more…” he rumbles in between his caresses, fingers tracing over the line of your jaw, your neck, and the slope of your shoulders. It’s like he can’t decide where he wants to go and you love the momentary burst of indecisiveness that’s broken over him. 
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More, apparently, entails you asking him to come up to your room. 
He’d laughed when you’d mentioned it, your lips swollen and glassy from his attentions, and you’d almost taken it back, peeved by his genuine amusement at the idea, but then he’d plucked you into his arms and smoothed any lingering doubts with another flurry of nips and kisses. 
“This gonna make it into your report?” he grins, yanking his high collared jacket off and tossing it carelessly onto the floor. “I should,” you barb, pulling the long band of your hip pouch off, letting it clatter to the ground as your fingers work up the buttons of your own uniform. “Let them think that you’re abusing your status.” 
“Tch, me? Abuse my power? Never. Hey, I think you’re supposed to go slower with that. Don’t just yank all of your clothes off. You know, take your time, tease me a little,” Satoru chuckles, jerking his chin toward your busy hands.
“Oh? Wanting a show?” you ask, threading the last button and spreading the heavy material apart, revealing the thin shirt that’s obscuring his view of your breasts and stomach. “Well, that’s too bad, because taking all this gear off is never fun, or sexy for that matter…”
“Not with that attitude,” he hums, stepping closer, peeling his skin tight undershirt off and revealing the sleek planes of his rippled muscles. Most sorcerers are fit; and many boast beefier sets of pectorals and curving arches of biceps and triceps, but there’s something about the streamlined leanness of Satoru that’s making your hands itch. He’s not far, you could reach out for him, slip your fingers over the dips and beveled lines of his abdomen and follow that tempting strip of white that winds down the front of his pants, but that makes this too easy and there’s nothing about Satoru that’s easy.
“Mmm, that’s a new look.” His voice is distant to your ears, but the satisfied note that’s vibrating through his words makes you snap your head up, fingernails scraping against your palms. “You look like you wanna eat me (Y/N)… or maybe, taste is a better adjective. Awe, what’s the matter? Worried I won’t let you?”
You run your tongue over your lips and lift one hand, holding it steady and crooking your index finger at his brazen expression, pleased to see that cheeky smile of his falters a little. “Do me a favor, come here and take off that blindfold.”
“Ah-ha, so bossy,” he growls, voice sinking into that sinfully lower octave as he raises his broad hands to the back of his wrappings, unwinding the fabric and slowly advancing toward you. He stops when the tips of his toes are inches from your own, bracing his palms toward his face, holding the last strip across his eyes. “Wanna do the honors? Or are you expecting me to do all the work tonight?”
“As if. Besides…” you snicker, pulling two fingers to the remains of his blindfold and peeling it down, watching as his hair falls forward, slowly divulging the top of his forehead, pale eyebrows and that shock of avid blue that’s already gazing down at you. “I think you like when I tell you what to do, don’t you?”
“Ahh, looks like she figured me out,” Satoru groans, letting the ivory bindings fall to the floor, his hands already reaching for your waist. He doesn’t give you an opportunity to study him, but they’ll be time for that later, you reason, arms lacing around his chorded neck. 
This kiss is hungrier and his tongue immediately dances along the seam of your lips, pressing until you give in. It’s an awkward angle, but he expertly adjusts himself to you, slotting a warm palm against the small of your back and raising the other to curl into your hair, lifting you until it’s perfect. 
He’s greedy, devouring every inch you give him with a ravenous edge, but when you suck on his lower lip, he slips into something that’s clearly a little more unhinged. 
Suddenly, he’s the one who’s bending forward, trying to get as close to you as he physically can, hunching until you can trace your fingertips over the sharpness of his jaw. His teeth clink against yours as he snatches you up, and you can feel the sharp bulge of his length, the hardness grinding down your hips and stomach as he yanks you nearer. It’s hard to breathe, but he’s refusing to let you budge, lips avariciously seeking and pulling, leaving you with nothing else but the sheer enormity of his touch.  
“Fuck,” he gasps, finally letting you fall from his grasp, heaving out a few unsteady breaths. “You’ve got way too much on. Why do you still have so much on?” He plucks at your shirt but stops when he frees the edge from your pants, cerulean eyes bright in the moonlight. “Take it off,” he heaves, forehead pressing against yours, lifting his fingers from you. “Take it off for me, please?” 
You nod, a little taken aback by his sudden desperation, and he watches closely as you yank the thin material up, blue eyes shining as you unveil yourself. When the shirt passes over your breasts, he gives you a distracted kiss to the temple before he pulls away, freeing you to pull it over your head and sighing happily when it finally hits the floor, leaving you partially bare. As soon as your arms lower, he’s back against you, hands cupping at your hips, jerking you forward. “Whoa,” you gasp, bracing your palms against his chest. “Slow down. Let me get the rest of this–”
“No, no, no, no,” he chants, fingers smoothing up your spine. “Stop, for a second… just… just gimme a minute. You feel so nice. Your skin, it’s… it’s so warm and so fucking smooth, ahhh. Ohh, yes. A few more seconds (Y/N), just let me… It’s been so long since I’ve touched someone like this. I kinda forgot what it felt like and I don’t wanna let go, not yet.”
His head is bowed and that hauntingly blue gaze is covered by his winced eyelids, but he can’t seem to stop moving. Even as he asks you to hold still, to let him touch you, feel you, he keeps shifting his weight and burrowing his brow into the dip of your shoulder. 
“Can I take this off?” he asks, nails scritching at the clasp of your bra. “Please? Lemme take it off. Come on. I know you wanna touch me too, I saw how you were looking at me a minute ago. You’re so fucking cute, I can’t… ahaha, fuck, I sound insane. Look, I’ll slow down, I promise, just gimme a little more of you.”
When he mischievously snaps the strap of your bra against your shoulder blade, you can’t help but laugh at his infectious exuberance. His head lifts from you and he turns his attention to your neck, soft lips sucking and nipping at you until you’re wriggling in his hold. “Alright, alright! Just step back, Satoru! I’ll take it off,” you placate, knocking him away and huffing at the long face he gives you in return. “Here,” your fingers unhook the two pronged clasp and the delicate lace slips from your shoulders, falling to the carpeted floor with a hush. “Okay, that’s everything on the top half. Now what are–Ah! Satoru!” 
He takes full advantage of his superior speed and before you can blurt out a proper retort, he’s against you. 
His teeth worry at your earlobe and he immediately hoists you upward, seizing the lush curve of your ass and pulling you into his powerful arms, urging your legs to wrap around his trim waist. When you shakily oblige, he cups one lean arm under you, but the other drags you forward, scraping your newly bared breasts and stiffened nipples against the planes of his powerful pectorals. When he walks, you jostle in his grasp and coil your fingers around his neck, smiling when he moans contentedly at your reliance on his firm hold. “Damn,” he grunts, cocking his head so he can lick a wet circle into your pulse. “You feel fucking good (Y/N). So damn smooth, how are you so soft? God, I want more, I wanna feel everything.”
The front of his shins hit the edge of your bed and he tumbles you down, a dark grin spreading over his face as he watches you stretch out teasingly. He plants a knee into the soft bedding and braces both arms beside your head, leering over you. 
For a long breath, both of you study each other, eyes whisking over gleaming skin and the curves of your faces. Without the added heft of that blindfold Satoru’s snowy hair hangs loosely over his face, straight tendrils clinging to his brow, making him look younger, mellower, and so very handsome. Opting to take advantage of this lull, you reach up and thread your fingers into the silken strands.
When you reach the edge of his temple, you scrape your nails against his scalp, grinning as he lets a heavy exhale fall between his lips, cerulean eyes falling to a pleased half mast. “You’re trying to distract me,” he accuses, gliding a wide palm up your side. You shake your head and keep twirling his hair across your fingertips, marveling at his own softness. “No. I just like your hair.”
“That’s a first,” he snorts, cupping a palm underneath one of your breasts and pulling his thumb over the swelling bud of your nipple. “Here I am, trying to feel you up, and you’re too distracted by my hair to appreciate it. How rude.”
“Shut up,” you gasp out, arching into his hand as he tweaks and plucks at your pebbled tip. “You’re lucky I’m even… mmm… letting you do this.”
“Please. It was your idea, remember?”
Satoru lowers one of his braced arms, letting his weight fall heavily to one side as he keeps his deepening ministrations up. Your fingers are still buried in his hair when he drops his lips to your breast. You feel the flick of his tongue first, and the light tap has you bowing your back, gasping out a faint cry as his rough appendage continues to swipe and twirl over your sensitive flesh. Instinctively, your hands tug at his pearlescent strands and he tilts his head up, fixing you with a lazy stare. “That’s better, looks like I just need to refocus you, huh?” he muses, his words half garbled as he sucks your plump breast into his mouth. He keeps flicking his tongue over you as he suckles, lapping and nipping until you’re writhing under him. 
Once he’s satisfied, his free hand lowers to your grinding hips, forcing you to lay flat against the bed, switching his attention to the neglected twin, sucking and pressing open mouthed bites to your damp, shaking skin. 
A tight heat is coiling in your core and your thighs rub against each other, trying to cool the sharp pricks of arousal that are coursing through you. As soon as your hands fall from his head, Satoru picks up his pace, licking his sloppy tongue under your breasts and nibbling his way down your quivering stomach. “You’re still wearing way too much,” he scolds, fingers toying with the gold clasp of your pants. 
“It’s… oh… difficult to take things off when you… ah–won’t let me move more than two feet from you.” You’d meant it to sound a little firmer, but his constant touch is wearing down your focus, distracting you with brilliant flashes of his luminescent blues and whites. 
“Awe, (Y/N),” he whines, popping his hand against your hip, long fingers digging into your swelled curves. “That’s not fair. I told you, I always have my barrier up. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve touched someone, anyone? I mean really touched them?”
“Daw,” you sigh, propping yourself up on your elbows and peering down at him. “You poor thing. The all powerful Satoru Gojo, too honed and practiced with his neutral technique that he can’t even hold anyone’s hand.” 
“Ha, such a jerk,” he laughs, exaggerating a wounded frown. “I bare my soul to you and this is how I’m treated?” 
“Stop being so dramatic,” you scoff, yanking your legs from under him and popping up on your knees, hands reaching for him, curling under his jaw and urging him upwards. His eyes lock onto yours and the grin that tweaks the corner of his lips gives you an idea. “You said you wanted to touch more of me, right?”
As you wait for your answer, you scoot backwards, making him follow you across the bed, finally luring all of his sprawling form onto the cool sheets. “Mmhm,” he grunts, doing his best to keep close, teasing fingers inches from your skin at all times, always ready to stroke and cup each time you pause. When you hit the headboard you stop, studying his features, admiring the growing hunger that’s screaming its way out of his wide eyes.  
“You ever eaten a girl out?”
The question hangs for half a second and you can see his pupils dilate, the black threatening to swallow up the sky streaked blue of his eyes. Then, right when you’re about to tease him for his gaping mouth and flushed cheeks, he’s bowling past you, splaying out against the mattress and pulling you on top of him. 
“Fuck, that’s by far the best thing I’ve heard all day. Hell, all month. I’ll likely go to my grave thinking about that question. Ouch! Stop squirming, you’re kneeing me in the ribs.” 
“I wouldn’t… Satoru! I can’t breathe if you hold me like that!” His arms are like cables, all tensed muscle and raw strength as he pins you against his heaving chest, lips kissing and nipping at any part of you he can reach.
“Whatever,” he grumbles, sucking a bruise into your arched collarbone. “Hurry up and take your pants off. And don’t say you can’t do it like this, you’re a grade 1 sorcerer, you can do anything you put your mind to.”
“Is that going to be part of your teaching regime?” you smart, bucking your hips up so you can unclasp and wiggle your pants down your legs.
“Oooh, you’re right, that sounds good. Damn, I gotta start writing this shit down. That way I can have a whole list of euphemisms. Can you imagine? Molding young minds and helping them to stand up to all the bullshit that those so-called elders make everyone suffer under. All those rules and regulations, the stupid ins and outs they make us all jump through–”
“Hmm,” your voice falls to a gentle hum as you snatch at his chin, stilling his chatter with a single finger against his lips. “That sounds ambitious, but why don’t we take things a little slower, give that mind of yours something else to focus on?”
“Oh?” Satoru smirks, arching an ashen eyebrow at you. “Then you better get up here, before I get distracted again.”
“Don’t you mean down?”
“Huh, down? Ah, I see where the confusion is. Nah, I want you to ride my tongue, baby, so hurry up.” His long arms help him jerk you upward, easily lifting and enticing you forward. That early impatience is peeking out once more, and he pops his head up, nostrils flaring as your uncovered cunt drifts nearer. “Ah, God, I bet you’re so fucking wet. I can smell you from here. Come on, grab onto the headboard and let me get to it.”
Your legs shake as you plant them beside his head and you do your best to steady your pounding heart, pulling a thin stream of air through your parted lips. As soon as you touch the wood of the headboard, he’s gripping your thighs so tightly you’re sure he’s going to leave bruises behind. The tip of his nose is the first thing you feel, and it’s so close to your pulsing clit that you inadvertently cant your hips forward. “Ooh, sensitive, are we?” he crows, nestling himself under you, his breath hot against your dampened folds and wet curls. 
The following slick slurp of his tongue and the slow pass of his lips make your head tip back. He’s surprisingly gentle, slowly licking his way along your labia, pulling and sucking as he goes, teasing closer to that tight bud that’s waiting, just a little bit higher. 
At first, you worry about crushing him, too caught up in the placement of your weight to fall into the haze his mouth is begging you to slip into. But then his lips latch onto you, careful to mouth in time with the thud of your clit, suckling and squeezing until you can’t help but grind down, earning yourself a sharp groan that reverberates against your trembling skin. Using the weight of the headboard as leverage, you roll your hips over him, shifting in time with his well-placed rhythm. 
He’s good, but even the great Satoru Gojo isn’t perfect, not all the time.
When he nips at you a little too hard you shift back, depriving him of your wet heat, loving the petulant sighs and moans he gives you when you do. “Ah, sorry. Gimme a little more time,” he bargains, fingers sinking into the voluptuous curve of your ass, tying to urge you back over his glistening lips. “I’ll do better, (Y/N). Besides, I want you to cum for me. You taste so fucking good and I want it, I want all of it. Hey! Don’t be like that! I said I’d do better. Come back here.”
God, he’s such a brat. 
Every time you shift away he’s got another string of exasperated pleas ready, twitching his fingers and shaking his pale head at your impudence. “Less talking,” you moan, shivering as he delves his tongue into you, feeling his grin as your cunt squeezes around his intrusion. “Ok, ok,” he growls, using his brute strength to overpower your tensed legs. “Mmm, yes baby, ah–just relax, I’ll take care of you.”
Fuck, you think as you sink your fingers into his hair, spurring him on, this feels way too good.
When he captures your clit between his teeth and tweaks the tip of his tongue against you, you can’t help but fall to pieces. Your orgasm hits you like a battering ram, seizing hold of your muscles as it rolls through you and scattering a faint spark of spots across your vision. Satoru’s arms wrap around your blindly pistoning hips, helping you to sink closer, ravenously slurping and swallowing down each wave of arousal that hits his gluttonous lips. 
You’re still shaking when he pulls out from under you, flipping you bonelessly under him as his hands finally rid himself of his clearly tented and damp pants. Your eyes are just clearing when you catch sight of him, studiously following that trail of white curls to his impressive length. His cock is long, curving proudly toward his chiseled stomach and bubbling a clear string of pre-cum from the flushed tip. You do your best to sit up, but as soon as he catches sight of your movement, his broad palm is pressing you back. “Ah-ah,” he taunts, stroking a hand over his swollen cock and wiping the last of your slick from his face against his shoulder. “Keep still for me, ‘kay?’” 
His wide palms spread your legs apart, and he soothes his fingertips along your skin as he tugs a few heady groans from himself. “Fuck, you look so good. You’re so goddamn pretty. When you were sitting there at the bar and you looked so fucking happy I couldn’t take my eyes off you, you just looked so nice. Haven’t even known you a week, and I’m already obsessed with hearing that laugh of yours. You put some kinda spell on me, huh? That what this is?”
“Ugh, stop talking, Satoru,” you threaten, watching the steady ebb and flow of his clenched fist. His cock looks so smooth and you’re desperate to reach for it, to take hold of velvety flesh and see how long it would take for the world’s strongest sorcerer to be putty in your hands. 
He arches a pale brow at your blatant stare. “You want it?”
“I want you,” you correct, and the smile that breaks across his handsome face makes your heart squeeze. 
“Awe, how can I possibly say no to that?” he asks, gleefully lining himself up with your slit. Despite his early eagerness, he’s taking his time with this part, running the bulbous head of his cock over you, gathering up some of your gossamer strands, slicking himself with your dripping arousal. “Sorry,” he amends when he makes another pass along your folds. “It’s been awhile and I want to take it all in. I don’t wanna rush this.”
“It’s fine,” you smile, lifting your hands to pass them over his stomach, watching as his muscles ripple under your delicate touch. “Just don’t take too long or you’re not going to be on top for much longer.”
“That a threat or a promise, baby?” Satoru leers, finally slipping his tip past that first, tight ring of your entrance. Despite his bravado, his lips curl over his teeth and he lets out a low hiss as he sinks into you, inch by shallow inch. The pressure of his cock makes you arch, legs automatically wrapping around his waist, heels digging into the small of his back. He bows his head and his ethereal gaze falls behind his shaking eyelids as he thrusts forward, edging himself along until he bottoms out within you. Fuck, you feel so full.
The stretch of him makes you shake and you’re grateful he’s taking his time when he stills, lips smacking distracted kisses over your heated cheeks and parted lips, giving you time to adjust to him, and he to you. After a few steadying breaths, his teeth bite at the hollow of your throat and he pulls his hips back, grinning as your hands grasp into the sheets, a sharp whine escaping you. He echoes your sentiment, letting a gasping string of curses tumble from his shaking lips as he ruts forward again, one hand gripping at your right leg, prying you from his waist and slinging the trembling limb over his shoulder.
This angle has him pressing against something wonderful and sharp, and you can’t help but gasp out his name as he starts to methodically ram into it, over and over. You can feel him swell at the sound of your pleading moans and you savor the feel of his cock throbbing against your tender walls. “More,” you shudder, fingers trying to hurry his steady hips as he diligently cants into you. 
“In a minute,” he grunts, biting at your pliant skin, arms coiling under your back. “This feels too fucking good. Let me just… ah… fuck…” 
He slows, moving at a pace that sets your teeth on edge, and you thrash under him. Although his cock is digging against that aching place that’s sending dots and stars across your eyes, it’s not enough pressure. Licking your lips, you worm one of your hands between the two of you and pinch and roll your fingers over your clit, easing some of the tingling bittersweetness that’s pulsing over you. 
“Alright, alright, point taken,” Satoru chuckles, releasing your leg from his tight grip and re-lacing it around his hips. “How do you want it, baby? You want it fast? Or do you want it hard? Tell me.”
“I don’t know,” you murmur, peeking up at his enthralling cerulean, willingly ensnaring yourself in the intensity of his gaze. “I just want more of you.”
“Tch,” he hums, cupping a hand against your warm cheek. “Don’t say shit like that, I might end up falling for you.”
The laugh that echoes from your lips is swiftly cut off by a gasp as he abruptly ups the pace of his thrusts. He’s quick, but he’s still listening and watching for what you like. When you moan he’s right there with you, steadying his rhythm, and when you call out his name, he digs a little harder. 
It’s too much. It feels raw, like you’re scratching at a cut. Like there’s some itch that you just can’t reach. 
All of it, the feel of his meaty balls slapping against the sticky plushness of your ass, and those breathy moans makes your head spin. The intensity of the moment slips your fingers from your clit, but he makes up for their loss by grinding down each time he sinks into your cunt, scraping the hard edge of his pelvic bone against your throbbing bud. 
He’s good. Fuck.
You can feel the hazy slope of your orgasm approaching and you blindly arch up each time he careens downward, ensuring that he’s hitting right where you need him to. His movements start to hit a lull as he slips into his own fog of lingering pleasure, dipping his head to your neck and sighing contentedly when you kiss at his temple. But the tenderness of your touch must knock him out of his own whirring thoughts and he rewards you with another set of rapid fire thrusts, his lips pulling from your neck to seek out yours, kissing and nipping until you’re gasping for air. 
“Mmmm,” he moans, breath hot against your skin. “You feel so good and you’re getting so fucking tight. You gonna’ cum for me? One more time?”
You do your best to gulp out a reply, but the abrupt press of his calloused thumb against your clit makes you shake instead, a tingling rush of heady arousal racing its way up your spine. Smiling down at your awed expression, he lifts his fingers away and uncoils your legs from his waist, flinging them both over his broad shoulders, his knees settling forward as he continues to roughly thrusts his hips forward, driving you quivering body into the soft sheets. 
“You like that? Does it feel good? Does it? Fuck baby, I’m begging you, give it to me one more time. Can you do that for me? Can you cum for me? I want you to cum on my dick, ah, come on (Y/N), just once more, that’s all I’m asking. You can do it, can’t you?”
He’s rasping his questions against the shell of your ear, hands cupping at the side of your face, keeping you close as he races toward his own end, voice lifting into a frantic plea as he hurtles closer, desperate to feel your satisfaction rippling around him before he completely looses himself to the aching pleasure of your body. 
“I–” you choke out, arms lacing around his back, nails pressing half moons into his skin. He moans at the bite of your touch and tilts your hips upward, seeking more of you. 
That change is all it takes. 
The tip of his cock presses down, lifts, and then suddenly you’re seeing stars. 
“I’m… yes! Oh, fuck. Satoru, just like that. Don’t… don’t stop!” For once, he doesn’t tease. He just smiles, his face flushed, pale cheeks dusted a pleased pink and repeats the motion, careful to keep everything absolutely steady. The repeated push and pull, the warmth of your cunt, the feel of your skin, it’s making his cock throb and his heart race, but he’s determined to see you break. 
There. There it is. Fuck, you’re so pretty.
On an outward pull of his hips, your back arches and your thighs tense and he lets out a long growl, quickly breaking his fastidious rhythm and sinking back into you, gasping as you flutter around him. A new flush of wetness leaks out of your cunt and squelches between your pinned legs, dripping over the cleft of your ass.
He only lasts a few extra ruts, but the feel of him swelling and pulsing inside your tender pussy almost topples you over the edge again and you cling to him in the aftermath of his release, your heaving breasts catching against his flat pectorals. 
With a quick peck, he slowly lowers your legs and eases himself out of you, blue eyes widening at the sight of his softening hardness leaving your leaking pussy. “I don’t know which I like better,” he contemplates, leaning back on his haunches and slicking his index finger up the pooling dribble you’ve both left behind, spreading the spidery traces across his hand. “You wet and dripping for me or filled to the brim with my cum.” His lewd comment makes you huff out a low groan of exasperation and you roll off of the bed, shaking your head as you steady yourself and walk toward the bathroom. 
After a brisk rinse in the shower, you pad back into the darkened room, fully expecting to see an empty bed. You’re not sure why that’s your first thought, but something about Satoru doesn’t scream: I’m the kind of guy who likes post coitus cuddles. So the sight of him, bundled under your sheets, white hair poking just above the edge of the blankets, is a surprise.
“Oh,” you pause, dropping your towel on the floor as you openly gape at him. “You’re still here… I, well, I figured you’d take off.”
“Huh?” Satoru croaks, popping his head up, his face comically askew. “What kinda guy do you think I am?”
“Apparently the kind that stays over,” you snicker, digging around for your discarded bra and panties. 
He lets out a mock gasp, popping a hand against his cheek. “How could you say that! And after I gallantly brought you back here?”
“And fucked me,” you remind him, slipping your lacy underwear back on and re-adjusting the clasp of your bra.
“That too!” he qualifies, arching a pale eyebrow at your impassive face. “I’d say I was pretty generous. You did cum twice after all.”
“Oh my God,” you sigh, crossing your arms across your chest and perching beside the edge of the bed, shaking your head at the sprawling man under your covers.
“Come on, you wouldn’t seriously make me walk all the way back to the school at this hour. What if something happens to me? How could you live with yourself, knowing you kicked me out into the cold?”
“It’s summer,” you point out, rolling your eyes. “And you’re… what six foot three… and you have the legendary six eyes… I mean, I think you’ll be ok.”
“(Y/N),” Satoru begins, narrowing those bright blue eyes at you.
“Yeah?”
“Is it your habit to sleep with helpless guys and then kick them out? You’re so cruel.”
“Stop it,” you warn, snatching at the sheets and yanking them off of his naked form.
“No!” he protests, fingers clutching vainly at the thin cover. “Your bed is so nice! Come on, I’ll be good and I don’t snore. Well, not that I know of anyway…”
“Ugh, fine. I don’t have the energy for this and we have to be up in four hours. Just shush and scoot over.”
“Oh? Do you not have the energy because I fucked it out of you?”
“I’m sorry, were you wanting to stay the night?” 
“Alright, alright,” he splays his hands up in supplication and makes room for you, watching closely as you curl up beside him, a smile playing over his lips. “Hey,” he asks once you’ve closed your eyes, leaning close to your reposed form. 
“What?” you groan, cracking an eye open.
“Can I be the little spoon?”
“Satoru…”
“Mmhm?”
“Shut up.”
notes: hehe. i feel like he’d be so freaking chatty in bed. plus, how could i not make him a little touched starved? stop making me like characters that just wanna be held universe, gosh :3c
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Do you have any headcanons for the Bad Batch when they were cadets? How they were treated by other clones, or by the Kaminoans? What each of the four boys were like when they were cadets? Thank you!
I actually do have some headcanons on this topic because I may or may not think about the Bad Batch constantly I think about them a normal, healthy amount and okay, here we go...
Hunter:
Fit in socially more than the others. Didn't grow out his hair or get tattoos until after he deployed, and his abilities weren't as obvious, so he more-or-less was able to blend in with the regs. Never really got bullied or bothered.
Struggled with his mutations the most. No one knew for a while if he was going to cut it. Overstimulation, head-splitting migraines, the whole bit.
But he had exceptional combat skills, great leadership potential, and an unwavering can-do attitude. So as a way to save him from decommission, the Kaminoans isolated him for a while to help him manage his senses and cope with the side effects.
Connected with Crosshair first. Cross would keep an eye on the team when he was away or in more specialized training. And he always seemed to know what Hunter was thinking without him having to say. They formed a silent but strong bond.
Wrecker and Tech were more like younger brothers he had to manage. Obviously Crosshair would still get in on the drama too, but Hunter had to really stay on top of Wrecker's restlessness and Tech getting sidetracked.
Interacted with a lot of the other Commanders and Sergeants and hung out with them in his free time just a little more than the Batch. It just felt easier to let loose with other leaders.
Generally a good cadet, but often questioned things or tried to think outside the box/protocols. Had to find balance between being what others expected and listening to his inner rebel.
Wrecker:
Some regs gave him a wide birth, while others would pick fights with him just to test their own strength. This actually made Wrecker kinda depressed as a cadet; he's a friendly guy, but no one wanted to be his friend. It hurt.
Channeled his anger into his training, which he already did a lot of just because he had more energy than anyone knew what to do with. The Kaminoans had to up their production of dummy droids just for him.
Instant favorite of the Kaminoans, his mutations were obviously useful. But with all the dummies and all the food the guy ate...they often had to run a cost-benefit analysis to make sure the resources spent were worth it.
Struggled with the academic stuff, until Hunter discovered he could learn better if the material was more hands-on and interactive.
Took to all the Batchers right away. They were his only social outlet. Hunter helped him work through his depression and find his confidence again. Tech always came up with cool ideas he could try with his strength. And Crosshair was the only one who understood his love of weapons and explosives.
So he became their defender against the other cadets. Any teasing or bullying was immediately turned into a fight if Wrecker heard about it. Wasn't subtle so he often got in trouble.
Initiated a lot of pranks and shenanigans out of boredom. Was the one who came up with all the skull imagery on their armor. Preferred the group training exercises over the solo ones.
Crosshair
Definitely got bullied by the regs, stood out like a sore thumb. He was too tall and too skinny and his hair too grey... Got called a lot of names and pushed around in the halls, sometimes tricked and sabotaged too.
But he also egged them on. Liked to poke and prod and get reactions out of people. Because if he could get them to snap first, then he didn't feel as much like the victim.
Didn't interact much with the Kaminoans, was pretty self-sufficient with his training. He liked to push himself and test his limits on his own.
Wasn't close with the other Batchers for a while, just observed them at first, figured out what they were about before letting them in. Even though they were odd balls like him, he still struggled getting over his trust issues.
He and Hunter developed their own understanding between each other, but he was secretly partial to Tech. He felt the need to keep an eye on him more than the others. The nerd was just so oblivious sometimes, it was frustrating but it brought out his protective side.
He and Wrecker developed more of a sibling rivalry relationship. Crosshair hated how loud and messy the big guy was, and Wrecker was never patient with his calmer approach. They started their kill count competition almost right away.
Was good at following instructions and directive. Did his assignments on time and only occasionally questioned or challenged things. Did not enjoy his cadet experience though and desperately looked forward to leaving Kamino.
Tech:
Also frequently bullied and teased, but he didn't engage as much as the other Batchers. Mostly because he didn't really notice or understand what was happening, too lost in his own thoughts to realize he was the butt of the joke.
But he wasn't completely clueless, and when he was aware he was getting picked on, he just internalized it. Some of those words still sit heavy in his heart to this day.
The Kaminoans were also uncertain what to do with Tech, they weren't sure if it was a good thing they'd created someone so freaking smart. What if he questioned things too much?
Was for sure the student that was too smart to pay attention in class and ended up getting in trouble as a result. It took Hunter interfering before he was given more challenging assignments, and eventually allowed to just self-teach.
Didn't exactly bond with any of the others, but ended up spending more time with Crosshair. He was the only one patient enough to listen to his idle ramblings, or would sit with him while they quietly worked on their own assignments.
But he did take an interest in the rest of the group's mutations and worked on special projects to help each of them cope effectively and capitalize on their abilities.
A mentally restless cadet, often stayed up late on research binges or obsessed over a part of his training until it was perfected. Felt disconnected and misunderstood, he never had a true outlet to express all the ideas and knowledge he had.
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eloves-writes · 3 years
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stormy weather
[spencer reid x reader]
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summary : reader doesn’t like flying in a storm & spencer distracts them
a/n : i wrote this whilst tipsy at a family bbq, talk about queen of socialising‼️ this talks about macbeth a bit & i’m sorry if that bores you lol the first draft of this had a huge long section of reader & reid discussing lady macbeth’s character development but i figured no one would actually want to read that💀 anyways hope you enjoy, requests open as always!
couple - spencer reid x gender neutral reader
content warnings - m*cbeth😩
——————————
“did you know that flying in a thunderstorm is no more or less unsafe than flying in good weather, since most modern airplanes are built to withstand lightning strikes and harsh wind and rain, what’s interesting is-”
“reid, i swear to god,” emily complained from the seat opposite him.
the boy genius stopped his ramblings. “what?”
“emily’s far too busy for your science lessons today i think, spence,” you joked, looking up from your book.
as you spoke, lightning cracked somewhere in the distance, flashing through the jet’s windows. you involuntarily flinched, off-set by the sudden light.
“woah,” morgan remarked. “you sure about that science spiel, reid? that was pretty intense.”
“don’t set him off again,” prentiss moaned. “you’re a little jumpy today though, y/n.”
“i’m not jumpy,” you replied monotonously, not looking up from your reading this time.
“you sound like hotch,” rossi teased. that, of course, set off a not uncommon round of crude impressions of the team members. hotch glanced up disapprovingly but chuckled under his breath at emily and reid’s version of a morgan and garcia phone call. the jest was interrupted by another loud crack of lightning amongst the ignored rumbles of heavying thunder. you flinched again.
“you are scared, aren’t you y/l/n?” morgan inquired. he wasn’t trying to belittle you, but you were embarrassed nonetheless. it wasn’t like no one else on the team had seemingly childish fears; reid was scared of the dark, but everyone did take the piss out of him for it.
“i’m not scared!” you exclaimed stubbornly. “but, for unrelated reasons, i’m going to go and take a nap until we land.” you dog-eared the page of your book and placed it on the table before getting up to relocate to the jet couch. spencer picked up your book and began to inspect it; a harmless habit he had of being constantly interested in other people’s literature choices. sometimes he offered meaningless insight to the hidden metaphors of the story, or accidentally spoiled the plot before you could finish it yourself. you thought it was quite sweet really. today, you were re-reading macbeth- perhaps an odd choice for a bit of light reading as emily so often told you. admittedly, you were a fan of shakespeare’s work since you studied it for your linguistics degree.
you comfied yourself on the couch, curling up with a pillow under your head. you doubted you’d actually be able to sleep with all the noise of the storm but it was worth a try (and a break from the incessant chatter of the team). only a few minutes passed as you lay listening to the on pour of rain on the roof and distant thunder; the white noise in itself was quite relaxing, but the remembrance of flying through the tempest wasn’t so. it felt like it had been much longer than it had and you willed the time to pass sooner so you could get your feet onto some solid ground.
“heyy,” spencer purred, sitting at your feet with your book in his hands.
“hey,” you replied. “reading my book?”
“i was reading your annotations actually,” he smiled. you liked to take a biro to the margins of your books, but it was more for your own enjoyment of the story than for other people’s eyes. “i generally don’t approve of the defacing of classic literature, however you have some really interesting comments on the nature of the gender role reversal in the play. see here, act 2 scene 2, ‘my hands are of your colour but i shame to wear a heart so white’ you wrote that lady macbeth is calling him a coward. well, you didn’t write coward-”
“i wrote pussy,” you smirked.
he smiled back awkwardly. “yeah, you did. you also wrote lady macbeth is a ‘girlboss’, i’m not entirely sure what that means.”
“my notes aren’t exactly of academic standard.”
“content wise, i would have to disagree. i forget how smart you are sometimes.”
“smarter than you, dr know-it-all?”
“in some fields i’m sure. you should use that brain more in the field instead of messing around with emily.”
“mmm, i’m good on the messing around with prentiss but maybe i should offer some more of my,” -you gestured dramatically- “profound intelligence.”
spencer laughed, tucking his slightly-too-long hair behind his ear. “well if we ever need an analysis on lady macbeth’s ‘girlboss energy’ i’ll know who to call.”
“you sure will. so then doctor, macbeth- victim or villain?”
you sparked up an enthusiastic discussion about the writing, forgetting completely about the raging storm that had bothered you so much earlier. the conversation lasted the whole rest of the flight, spencer’s mission of helping you through it very much achieved. you somehow hadn’t clocked on that he only came over to distract you, despite the fact that he frequently slated shakespeare’s writing. to him, it was worth talking about even the most terrible book in the world if it meant he was talking to you. he felt a burning sense of pride for making you smile, catalysing the fire in his heart. of all the knowledge in his head, the knowledge that he had single-handedly made you feel just the tiniest bit better was all the knowledge the young doctor ever really wanted.
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frevandrest · 3 years
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Everything Wrong with Saint-Just's Introductory Scene in La Révolution française (1989)
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As promised, here is an analysis of Saint-Just’s first scene from La Révolution française (1989). You can watch the scene (with English subtitles) here. It sadly misses the dramatic entrance part, but everything else is there. SPOILER: This analysis will not, in fact, cover everything wrong because there’s so much trash you can’t adequately address it in only 1000 words. 
In the scene, we see a young man with that hair rushing down the steps of the Convention (in what will be his signature dramatic! style). He pushes people way without even looking at them. There is someone at the rostrum, and many people wait to address the Convention. Saint-Just doesn’t give a fuck. “I demand to speak.” Some deputies murmur a weak protest, but they are shit out of luck because it’s time to introduce a new character, and we need to know what a jerk he is. So of course he’s granted the word. 
At first, nobody pays attention, but “just like you, I would die for this Republic”, seems to work. He delivers the speech (which contains maybe two lines from the actual one), and by the end, Marat claps, the Convention claps, Danton and Girondins are suspicious; Robespierre is in love. Camille, oh Camille, does he know he’s just been replaced? Saint-Just pouts slightly (my interpretation) but doesn’t show much emotion. Next scene: Louis receives news that he’s being put on trial. Good job, new boy. 
As first scenes go, this is a good introduction to Saint-Just as depicted in the film. But it’s also very wrong for SJ as a historical personality (what we know of him). Which sucks, because it’s not like it’s impossible to make an unsympathetic yet historically accurate SJ, if one wants to go that route. See, Saint-Just in La Révolution française is a prop; he’s not a character with his own complexities, goals or motivations. He is just there to be pretty and evil, and to take Robespierre away from Camille.
So, why is this introduction wrong? 
Let us remember that this was Saint-Just’s very first speech at the Convention. He got elected days after his 25th birthday; he was the youngest out there. Also, even with Robespierre’s support (that some claim he already enjoyed), he was an unknown; a peasant provincial from Picardie barely out of his adolescence. He wanted to prove himself and demonstrate that he was a worthy representative. Being rude and pushing people away is not really a good way to achieve that. 
Here’s the thing about Saint-Just: despite all stereotypes of the contrary, he respected authority. However, he only respected authority that he felt deserved to be respected. In 1792, “monarchy” was not it. But National Convention? Revolutionary government? Of course he respected it. He fought so much to get there, and he respected the place he was given. 
Throwing his weight around, pushing people away, demanding to speak when someone else is at the rostrum, disobeying order... It was really not Saint-Just. He hated commotion and fights that happened so often at the Jacobin club. Even on 9 Thermidor, when Tallien interrupted him and shit hit the fan, he continued to attempt to deliver the speech. They pushed him, and he kept trying to speak, without, I don’t know, punching someone in the face (La Révolution française Saint-Just totally would, which is, admittedly, one of the many, many many reasons why it sucks that they shortened and condensed Thermidor). 
The film uses “blame Saint-Just for Robespierre’s turn to darkness” approach. SJ is there to encourage Robespierre into cruelty and cold violence, and, if Robespierre starts to doubt even for a moment, to reassure him that yes, this is how things should be done, you are right Max, let’s kill them all, but particularly Camille; I can’t stand that guy for having you first  ridiculing my poetry (wait... SJ’s poetry wasn’t in the film. Why does he hate Camille, again?) Who knows. The only explanation the film provides is that Camille is Good and Saint-Just is Evil, so of course he’d want to get rid of him. 
Now, let us see about the speech itself.
The Speech
The speech Saint-Just delivers in the film contains maybe a few lines from the actual speech (notably: “this man should reign, or die”). I don’t have a problem with them not replicating the speech word for word because it followed on what other deputies talked about (which we didn’t hear)*, and because nobody has time for Antoine’s ramblings about antiquity. (And it would take around 10 minutes to act, which would probably provide us with more glorious shots of Robespierre falling in love being impressed, but it would take too much of the running time. I get that.)
So, in theory, I am fine with shortening the speech and paraphrasing, as long as the meaning and content is there. Which... it did on a surface level while also missing the point substantially.  
*Not showing SJ addressing what others said before him was understandable (condensing runtime), but it’s another thing that made it seem like he didn’t listen nor paid attention what others were doing. Also, it’s a missed opportunity to characterize him as a jerk full of himself, since his real speech basically opened with: “all that the previous guy said is bullshit, and here’s why”. 
Speech in the film: I would die for the Republic and I would fight the enemies of the Republic. We all know the name of the enemy, and I, like none here, am ready to fight against this enemy. Louis is a symbol of traitors among us. We should not hesitate; the king is an usurper. 
In short, speech in the film is, kind of, less about Louis and more about what SJ will be important later: his own sense of revolutionary righteousness and for weeding out “traitors” from the Convention. 
Another issue with the speech is that it wasn’t just about the speech - it was part of Saint-Just’s introductory scene, so we had to learn about his character through the speech. In the film, SJ is rude, cruel and cares only about... well, we are not sure, because there are no motivations whatsoever, but he is there to push Max when something bad needs to be done. I feel that his rudeness during the introductory scene and the way the speech was delivered fulfil this purpose nicely. However, I am not sure that we actually understand what Saint-Just’s speech was about, except vague “we must kill the king” vibe. 
The Aftermath
The scene following Saint-Just’s speech is that of Louis, a doting father, reading a book to his son. Men come and rudely tell him to send the child away. He is to be put on trial. The implication? Saint-Just’s speech won the crowd over and they decided to kill Louis, or at least put him on trial. 
In reality, while Saint-Just’s speech was highly noticed (his real-life dramatic entrance into Convention), the deputies did NOT listen to him. The whole point of the speech was that Louis should not be put on trial - trials are for the citizens, which he is not. Louis’ crime is not treason - the monarchy is a crime in itself. Saint-Just argued against the trial. Yes, his speech was highly influential but presenting it in this way puts way too much weight on this newcomer’s words and implies he was the key factor behind the trial.  
Other Observations
- There is a long debate among historians whether Robespierre was present for Saint-Just’s first speech on 13 November 1792. (I think the conclusion is “probably not”.) But I don’t mind this change, if nothing else, for those glorious shots of Robespierre’s heart eyes and Camille’s “wtf did this guy come from and why is Max looking at him like that?”
- Marat. It is true that he generally praised Saint-Just as an orator, but he disagreed with this speech (Marat was for trial). 
- The reason why this post is dedicated to SJ’s first scene is because I was asked/challenged to write about it. It doesn’t mean that his other scenes were any better (I’d say they were worse). In fact, the entire SJ’s character was a Thermidorized mess. 
- That being said, I don’t hate this SJ. I cannot; LRF was my introduction to the whole Frev thing and will always have a special place. Christopher Thompson was ok, particularly in some aspects of SJ. However, the whole thing was a mess and it should be criticized. 
- Hair. I promised to dedicate one full paragraph to SJ’s hair, but I... can’t. I simply cannot. I am sorry. I tried, but the words failed me. 
- This was more fun that it should have been and there are so many things I didn’t get to say (the entire performance and what this scene means for SJ as a character in the film, a more detailed analysis of the speech and comparison with the real one, etc.) But it did show that I can still vomit write 1000+ words about anything that I have any interest in, which is... good to know, I guess? (Let’s just say that I won’t be winning any SJ contest prizes for laconicism). 
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palukoo · 3 years
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So! @thxngam and @claudiasjeancregg enabled me to talk about that scene in Dead Irish Writers and oh boy did I run with it! 
So... the scene is super interesting for several reasons... let’s dive in...
It’s a scene that’s just women, and, by West Wing standards, several women, and you realize you’ve never really seen all the main women together without the men before that, I think. I mean, you also really haven’t seen how Donna and Abbey interact, which is why this scene is so good
The four of them actually have two scenes with this sort of thing off the top of my head-- this, and then during Zoey’s kidnapping arc with Amy and CJ trying to stop Abbey from going into the press room (though Donna doesn’t talk in that one)
I probably will bring this up again but on top of this not being a dynamic the audience has seen before, I don’t think it’s a dynamic that they’ve had before in this combination... like... 
Any group of two of them I will accept having spent some time together, though I doubt Donna and Abbey are close (partially due to the power dynamics I’ll get into later) and Donna and Amy don’t know each other well
Any group of the three of them? Not so much
Amy, CJ, and Abbey maybe, because they do say or imply that Amy knows both of them and is friends (?) with both of them before we ever see her, but... I don’t see her as being particularly close with the campaign or administration, so... (but I’m SO glad we get it here and during the kidnapping arc)
Amy, CJ, and Donna is a dynamic I adore and that I think this scene kinda opens the door for it in a lot of ways but again, since I don’t think Amy and Donna are close at all at this point and Amy’s not that close the the administration at this point, I don’t see it
CJ, Donna, and Abbey I will absolutely accept actually but not in any sort of like meaningful or non professional context. The way Donna reacts to being invited in in this scene? This is new for her
Amy, Donna, and Abbey? Nope. Love it as a concept, but nope
So the four of them? Yeah, no
Which is relevant in like. The way women get to interact on screen and like. The way women are isolated in male dominated fields
(Amy, working for the WLC, is certainly in a less male dominated subset of the male dominated field of politics, as is Donna since a bunch of the assistants are women, and I get that Abbey has a very specific and gendered position in the show, but she and CJ are both absolutely in male driven fields)
And it’s relevant because Abbey’s shifting her anger into this like, feminist framing where she doesn’t not have a point (I’ll get there) but it’s also not really the whole story at all, which is why I think it was very smart of them to have it be this group to call her on it, because from any of the guys it would’ve been... easily yikes?
The other absolutely crazy thing here is the power dynamics which I know people have talked about before and CJ even calls attention to but you’ve got like
Abbey is sort of CJ’s boss, and her friend, but the nature of their positions in the administration are weird and they’re both honestly undermined a fair amount but a lot of the admin doesn’t take First Lady/Abbey seriously, so! It’s interesting!
Not in a direct sort of way but CJ clearly has more power than Donna, and they’re also friends
Do the math on Abbey and Donna, plus again we don’t really see them interact before this
Amy sort of exists outside of this, because she’s the only one who doesn’t work in the White House, but that also like. Is a dynamic in it of itself. She also definitely has a more visible and overtly powerful position than Donna and is sort dating Donna’s boss, so?
Also Abbey used to babysit for Amy which just makes this. A lot!
So I’m gonna try to sort of break the scene up into parts and do it like that. If I wanted to make this even longer, I would start before this scene because there’s a lot of relevant context/lead up, but I’ll just mention it
Donna’s just found out she’s not a citizen which is a lot
Amy’s kind of pissed at Josh who’s kind of pissed at her
Abbey’s also kind of pissed at Josh probably, especially if she caught any of what he was saying to Amy
Abbey didn’t want a whole thing and is obviously stressed about her license
CJ’s the one who caught that the guy was recusing himself and had to tell Abbey
“Claudia Jean?” “Yes, ma’am?” “Let’s go get drunk.” “Okay” should be a master class in acting
Also relevant is Abbey choosing CJ and Amy to get drunk with for this. They’re career women in politics who are her friends and who should understand this sort of.
So they get to the residence... “Awasiwi Odinak, far from the things of man...”
Abbey instantly cuts to complaining about Jed bc she’s angry at him and in her defense only some of it is misplaced!
But like... she says “what a jackass” and CJ immediately says “I’m gonna open the wine” in a very “can we not do this” way, and Amy just... is there. Hanging out. Trying to open drawers
As a note on that there is no way Amy’s being like. Genuine there. I love how awkward she is but she’s not about to take notes while getting drunk with them. She’s being awkward and funny and avoidant and I love her (like as a random note Amy is... very rarely still)
When she comes to sit with them and sits on the arm of the couch, it’s a really interesting detail that I see as her sitting as far away from them as she can without it seeming so blatant
And Abbey keeps talking, and neither of them really respond 
CJ with the corkscrew is of course iconic and funny and I think it’s part of the reason the scene works and it makes sense because CJ’s uncomfortable in this scene. Her rambling about the corkscrew prevents her, momentarily, from being in this uncomfortable position that she’s put into so much more later where she’s thrown into the issues of Abbey and Jed’s marriage and she really doesn’t want to be because she has a ton of respect and care for both of them
What I mean by “the reason the scene works” is that it needs to keep being drawn back to funny before it can snap. It’s a very specific kind of bubbling tension, and I really like it
Abbey saying “I’m board certified in thoracic surgery” brings you back to the fact that maybe she won’t be for very long, but it’s said as a joke and moved on from quickly, so you can’t dwell on it
I describe Abbey in this scene as “erratically vulnerable” which I don’t know if that’s quite right, but I think there’s maybe a glimpse of her realizing what she’s saying here, and the specific implications in that moment, and then changing subjects immediately
And of course she asks Amy about Josh...
What I find really interesting about this is Amy’s response of “he’s... you know... he’s adjusting.”
Amy doesn’t pull punches with Josh usually, but she does here (she also seems to earlier when she tells him he’s right, but then she gets Abbey to bug him) and I think it’s because we’re seeing her talk about Josh, not to Josh
Abbey says “well let him adjust faster. Jackass.” which is again, funny, but so so indicative of how frustrated she is and how she’s taking it out because literally earlier in the episode she says to Amy and Josh something like “I still haven’t gotten credit for this (I love them and their responses of “we’ll see” and “jury’s still out” to that)
Enter Donna!
Side note on timing, Donna walking in as Abbey insults Josh vs Abbey walking up as Josh insults Abbey
Donna coming in shifts this scene a lot
For one thing, it sets up this interesting play (that feels like me being really contrived and probably is) on audience proxy, that if I get into will only complicate things so I guess... if you’re curious, ask
(Donna plays audience proxy a lot in The West Wing as they explain political concepts and whatnot, and it’s not a thing you see so much in these really character driven scenes because it becomes unnecessary and sort of clunky
But the thing is that in this scene at this point, Amy feels very audience proxy-y... I will concede that in any given scene it’s easy for me to default, in analysis, to Amy and her perspective, but she feels very much like an observer of CJ’s jokes and Abbey’s anger thus far in the scene-- it definitely shifts back to Donna after the fade out)
I also want to shout out Donna’s body language here! The way she steps in cautiously and plays with her hands as she talks is really good at showing her discomfort, and I think it’s neat to draw a parallel here between her and Amy a minute or two before. Like, seriously though, watch her hands in this scene. It’s so good
But Donna walking in this room shifts things!!
Pulls attention to the... D plot? I don’t know, it’s the B plot of the scene, but there’s a lot going on in this episode, which is funny in the context of watching it if not for Donna, and away from Abbey’s heavy plot here, like a pressure valve in that tension I was talking about. Donna looks nervous here, but everyone else seems to relax
It also makes this more of a... White House thing. Like, because Abbey and Donna specifically probably have not been friends much, it further complicates the lines between personal and professional relationships here
But let’s actually talk about the dialogue a little bit, because I think it’s really funny that she’s there looking for Amy for Josh, when Josh knows she left to get drunk with CJ and Abbey, and there’s not a second in that room where Amy is going to leave. It somehow feels shoehorned/plot device-y but also in character at the same time?
The line is “Josh was looking for Amy” to which Abbey says “She’s right here” and Amy just waves weirdly with half her hand since she’s holding her glass. Yes I know I keep fixating a little on Amy’s physicality, but it’s SO good
And then Abbey says “Where have you been all night?”
One of my FAVORITE exchanges this episode is “It’s a little tough to explain, ma’am.” “Tougher to explain than secretly prescribing Betaseron?”
The way Abbey jokes about it!! It’s very specific because it’s not an “I’m moving past it so I can joke about it” it’s that she’s specifically bitter and it comes out... not hostile, but something
That’s sort of what I mean by erratic vulnerability?
Donna explaining the citizenship issue with CJ’s convenient questions is a nice break, like I said, and Amy’s “you seem pretty calm about it” gives Donna the room to freak out about it a little
And Donna freaking out about it a little gives Abbey room to be the “rational” one? Not exactly?
It’s also just a nice contrast in how they show their anxieties and it works really well for them as characters
Donna goes to leave, and Abbey invites her to stay
Which is also interesting? Since like I said, I don’t think they’re friends
But it’s also super in character because there’s something very grandiose about Abbey and it’s there in this scene. Like she... wants an audience? Even as she’s sort of trying to get away from this room where she’s forced to perform? I don’t know
Donna’s genuine excitement here is so cute
She sits even further from them than Amy had, on a chair instead of the couches
Another great exchange? “I probably shouldn’t drink, though” “I wouldn’t worry about it!”
There’s also something a little awkward and desperate about Amy’s “Canadian, huh?” like she’s trying to fill the silence and keep it from driving straight back to Abbey’s anger and identity crisis, and I just like how they play off each other here
CJ "opens" the bottle, Abbey says they'll decant it, Amy says "Now it's a party" and does the most iconic slide from the arm of the couch onto the cushions with Abbey
And then it cuts back in, and they're all boozier, especially, evidently, CJ!
But there’s something to be said, if we’re tracing body language, for Donna now being on the couch and Amy leaning into Abbey so much
With the later context that they’ve known each other since Amy was a kid, I accept it, but it’s absolutely crazy in the context of Abbey as the First Lady and Amy joining them because “you think I don’t wanna write a book some day?”
I mean, I love it either way, but it makes more sense with the retroactive context
I love love love CJ laughing and rambling about the cork and the wine and then you get another really important shift. Because Abbey seems annoyed in general but more amused than anything by CJ’s tangents before the fade out, and she’s at this point way less endeared.
Which totally makes sense, of course, ‘cause if you’re stressed and frustrated, anything is going to annoy you, including and honestly especially your friend being rambly about something completely irrelevant
I also love Donna looking around at Abbey and Amy while CJ is talking trying to make like conspiratorially amused eye contact, it’s a really subtle, human detail
Anyways, Abbey interrupts CJ to make her stop (This is another body language thing where I love how leaned back she is, how she rubs at her forehead as CJ keeps going on)
And it’s here I’m gonna start being REALLY pedantic probably
“Mrs. Bartlet, I wanted to ask you a question but I’m not sure how” “What?” 
First of all, this feels so... soft? This is actually why I’ll accept the babysitter thing
Amy playing with Abbey’s dress is so! good! Look, Amy’s so fidgety and I adore it!!
Also, I love this because Amy clearly doesn’t really want to ask, but she’s also not good at keeping quiet when something is bothering her
“Well, if the most they can give you is a year's suspension, is it...?” “That big a deal?”
Amy stops herself! Because she doesn’t want to say it! Or doesn’t know how to 
Amy never actually criticizes her in this scene, which is neat, because Amy’s practically introduced to us through criticizing Abbey. One of her first lines in the show is “[Abbey] isn’t doing enough for women” and she has lines like “I’ll keep poking him with a stick. That’s how I show my love” but in Privateers, Josh also tells her “it’s okay to tell her you disagree with her” while Amy’s refusing to go against her. It’s not inconsistent-- I just think Amy has a think about criticizing Abbey to her face, kind of, and here, while Abbey’s this upset, of course she’s hesitant at best
“Yes.” “Yes. I'm a doctor. It's not like changing your major. You of all people should...”
Abbey really says this to Amy “who has had seven jobs in three years” Gardner, Amy “and I’d [stake my job and career on a political issue] again” Gardner... “you of all people should...” Amy’s a career driven feminist lobbyist, but she’s not someone who can tie her identity to a job which is the real issue Abbey’s having, she just wants to frame it like this
I love the way Amy looks down during this, too
(“You of all people should...” makes a lot more sense, actually, after Amy loses her job because of her and Josh’s political fights over marriage incentives in welfare reauthorization)
((Also, how many times did Donna change her major? It’s not relevant, really, it just makes this an even funnier room for Abbey to say this in))
“I mean, women talk about their husbands overshadowing their careers. Mine got eaten”
She’s valid for being angry about this, but also she’s conflating things. She’s not losing her license just because of Jed
Like, it’s fair for her to hate how much of herself and her career and her life she’s had to give up because her husband is the president. I think it’s important, even with Donna’s also valid criticism here in a minute, that Abbey’s not being irrationally upset. It’s a choice she played a part in making, but it was never going to be a good choice for her, and it isn’t really fair to her, and it isn’t really any one person’s fault
And yes, I DO love how Abbey talks with her hands here. It’s that kind of grandiose thing about her
“Your husband got eaten” “My career” “Yeah, well, I’m on dangling modifier patrol” “What is your problem?”
I’m going to lose it a little bit here, because it’s really funny at face value
Like, this is one of my favorite tww comedic moments. The timing is so good. But trying to analyze this scene? Watching this scene multiple times? This is them being snippy with each other. CJ is upset here, with Abbey
(One of the things I really like about Sorkin-style rapid fire dialogue is that there’s a rewatchability where you pick up on different things each time)
CJ’s really subtle about it, which is... CJ is very subtle about her emotions a lot and there’s something similar you can look at throughout the show as a whole and also this episode in particular with the different ways that she, Abbey, and Jed learn to put on facades and deal with being very, very public people. Abbey in particular in this episode has a lot of rapid demeanor shifts, but you get the same thing from CJ going to brief in some of the heavier episodes, or, like, Jed at Leo’s funeral
I mean, really, the “What is your problem” feels way more jarring than anything CJ has said because outwardly she’s just been joking, but there’s... a tension or something? A flatness to her voice? A lack of amusement? It’s a really stark contrast to how she’s been overly amused about the cork or whatever. It’s good, and I like that Abbey picks up on it and doesn’t let it keep going unspoken
I do wanna take a second here because CJ doesn’t fully answer, I don’t think, so I wanna answer for her
A part of it is just her loyalty to Jed, too, and specifically to the president I think, and the awkwardness of being thrown into Abbey being so disparaging about that 
I also think that, as a character who takes on a lot of personal responsibility and, to an extent, guilt (less than some of the others, or at least less overtly), and internalizes a lot, it sort of bothers her that Abbey’s refusing to take responsibility here, like, at all, and that Abbey is externalizing all of her anger
The other thing is that we do unpack all of the team feeling betrayed and upset and angry with Jed and even sort of Leo during the whole MS plot, but we don’t really deal with any of them being angry with Abbey
And none of them would be, particularly, because she’s not their boss, their career, their friend, but she is CJ’s friend
She tells CJ “I wanted to be there when you were told” but she didn’t say “I wanted to tell you” (which. I could write a lot more about this but this is already too long)
And I think CJ hasn’t had any opportunity to address or unpack that
Oh, and here we see CJ refilling her own AND Donna’s glasses, meaning Donna is drinking. I would love to see the full transition between the scenes tbh
“Are you First Lady right now?” I love CJ’s sigh leading up to that, the way she doesn’t want to get into it
“What are you talking about?” “Sometimes you like to talk, and I think that’s great, but sometimes you're Abbey and sometimes you’re my boss, and I respect both very much, but--”
HOW is CJ this eloquent moments after the corkscrew monologue? 
No, but this is really it, and speaking of taking things under the surface and calling them out (wow, I did it, the whole analysis, right there...), CJ is just shining a massive light on the weird power dynamics here, and that everyone in this room other than Abbey has a really, really valid reason to feel uneasy in this conversation because of those power dynamic
“I’m Abbey.” “Yes, I agree with her”
Cutting it off right here because I love how quick they are with this. Like, it’s Sorkin, so duh, but Abbey’s hand up cutting CJ off and as soon as she’s spoken, CJ jumping in to say what she wants to
This is interesting because Amy hasn’t exactly made a point for CJ to agree with, also. Like, it’s supposed to be “is it really a big deal?” but Amy did not say that. I just think it’s neat
Also, because I’m obsessed with CJ and Amy’s implied friendship, I love this moment
“Look, they take this job away from me, I got nothing. I don't have a cat. I could get one, but I don't have one. Frankly, I'm not wild about cats. I don't hate them. I'm just not... I could learn to like them, I guess, if I...”
CJ losing the thread here again gives the scene it’s rhythm... it’s ebb and flow of tension and humor... it’s funny, to watch this, but you also kind of want to get back to the point, too
“CJ?” (with the pointed arm motion, too) “You've got a husband, children, a home and a life. And we're talking about one year of your not having a medical license.”
I think CJ is mostly being like “It’s not all you are” and sort of “stop complaining” but it’s also a step away from a point that Amy also ends up approaching, which is... First Lady is a weird position, and they do something specific with it in the west wing
Essentially, neither Abbey nor Helen wants it and it sort of becomes about sacrifice and loyalty and public and political and private life balance, but the First Lady is a public figure, with responsibilities and powers and careers, and it’s fair to on a professional level be upset with Abbey for being so dismissive about those
It’s also fair for Abbey to resent being thrust into this role she doesn’t want
“Jed got censured, and that came with no tangible penalty, and it was a banner headline, and he's having a slow nervous breakdown.”
The way I interpret this is both that she’s bitter at having to bear the tangible penalty of the two of them, and she’s trying to justify being upset at it, at the perceived injustice
ALSO, Abbey’s voice here makes me want to cry, because she sounds like she’s about to cry, and I realize half of this analysis is me saying “Yeah they were right to call Abbey out” but like. You do feel for Abbey here. You understand why she made the choices she did and why she’s upset at having made them, at being put in a position to make them
CJ looking away and almost rolling her eyes here is also really good, she’s so frustrated at Abbey just willfully missing the point 
“That’s different” “Why?” “‘Cause it is, and you know it.”
The thing that makes it different is actually, I think, basically the point Donna’s about to make. Like CJ’s close to making that same point, because the thing that makes it different is that what Abbey did is directly related to her doing her job poorly, essentially, and what Jed did isn’t, so of course she’s gonna get a more tangible penalty
“Okay, I’m First Lady again” “Okay.”
Abbey saying that is obviously a shield but also feels so vulnerable, like an admission that she can’t take it
CJ’s tone here is so good, too. Like she is backing off but the way she says it like “Okay well if you don’t wanna hear it that’s fine I guess”
Again, god, watch their hands
“You are First Lady, Abbey.” “Yes.” “And it’s not like it’s been a detour from healthcare” “No” “What, you’ve expanded Medicare to...” etc etc
Cutting in after that and keeping talking about it is... pretty bold honestly
The thing here is that Amy’s both arguing CJ’s point, basically, of like, you still have things, a career, and reassuring Abbey and being like it’s not giving you or your priorities or your identity up
It’s very smart, and it reminds me that Amy is, in very specific circumstances, really good at this sort of communication
I also love that she can list all this off. Like, of course she can, but I love it
When CJ says “There’s plenty of stuff left” I really wonder if she’s supposed to mean to list or to do but I like the sort of ambiguity there
Here’s another bit where the tension subsides, and the thing is, this is a weird sort of fake out ‘cause it almost feels like that’s going to be it, but no one has said the thing, the tension hasn’t fully erupted yet
“That’s not the point” “What’s the point?”
The point is that Abbey never wanted this, it’s not her, and god, I want to hug her
“I’m a doctor” could be a really poignant beat because that’s also the thing Abbey hasn’t explicitly said yet, or at least not emphasized, that this is about feeling like her identity is being taken away
But do they let us sit with this line? No. If they gave us a beat here, Donna’s line would feel weird on several levels
“Oh, Mrs. Bartlet, for crying out loud, you were also a doctor when your husband said, ‘Give me the drugs, and don't tell anybody,’ and you said, ‘Okay.’”
Donna has not spoken, I should point out, since before the fade to black. It makes the line really slap you in the face. Everything about this line, from timing (immediately after line before, long pause after it) to who is saying it is designed for impact, surprise
She’s also saying it very nonchalantly, half laughing. There’s a lot about her delivery that is exasperated, genuinely frustrated criticism, but it’s also just... almost playful teasing for a second in there
More on why it’s Donna saying it, though
I think you just don’t expect Donna to be... it’s not quite rude. Antagonistic at all? Beyond like lightly teasing the others? Certainly not to Abbey especially with the lead in of her being surprised and honored by being invited to drink with them
Amy criticizing Abbey doesn’t have the same impact. She’s not a main character, you’re probably gonna take Abbey’s side, really, and Amy criticizing her, like I said, isn’t new
You can’t take the personal elements out of CJ saying it. You can’t. They don’t give us a ton of context on CJ and Abbey’s friendship, but it’s very clearly deep, and CJ has also already explicitly backed off as far as this conversation
Remember what I said about audience proxy? Donna’s kinda their go to every-man, and this also is a window into how the public would feel about it. For the like, hundredth time, Donna and Abbey are not close, and she’s as close as you can get in this show, maybe, to an objective messenger for this while it’s still from a trusted, likeable main character. You have to balance feeling for Abbey with Donna’s valid point here
Also, Donna’s really good at reading people and casually calling them out/breaking things down.
(Aka being a stand in for explaining things (if it’s political, explain it to Donna, if it’s someone’s emotional shit they’re too repressed to say but you want the audience to get anyway, explain it through Donna. This isn’t criticism, I exploit the second often in my fic)
See also: her and CJ in No Exit, her and Amy about Josh in Commencement
(Donna doesn’t actually look at Abbey like at all as she’s saying this. She’s mostly vaguely looking down or looking at Amy. I don’t know what to do with that, exactly)
Abbey’s stare here!! It’s... shellshocked. Because I don’t know that she really has processed like, no, this was your mistake too, you did have agency in this, etc, bc she’s been using the anger as a defense all episode
Amy’s face is comical here, which I think is mostly not expecting that from Donna (which is the point) or from anyone to Abbey. Based on their relationship, there’s probably some base defensiveness on Abbey’s behalf, but I also think, and this is more headcanon, that like this is a position Amy’s been in before
“I used to get you in some jams” “Yes you did” plus her whole vibe, I have to assume Amy’s stepped out of line with Abbey before
CJ doesn’t look surprised, because hey! She knows both Donna and Abbey well, so she can maybe see it coming more, and like I said, I think she was really about to make the same point before Abbey stopped her, kind of. She looks like she’s waiting for it to catch up with Donna
And catch up it does! She looks over, panicked, to CJ, like she’s just remembered the whole layout of power dynamics CJ articulated
“Oh my god. You switched back to First Lady” “That’s alright”
I love that the first thing Donna says isn’t an apology, isn’t saying she was wrong, she shouldn’t have said that, she’s out of line, it’s just panic
And the fact that Abbey quickly just reassures her after! It’s so good
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Bartlet” “It’s okay”
The camera staying on Abbey here is really smart, the way she shakes her head and you can watch her distracted reassurance, her processing 
Even without the “O Canada” etc stunt, I would insist, from Abbey’s reaction here, that she really isn’t upset with Donna, she’s just upset, but she does know, really, that she needed to hear that, that she’ll be grateful for it
CJ and Amy both make faces that are kind of like... quietly agreeing with Donna. Like a “Well, yeah, and now it’s been said, and that’s... a relief?” It’s good for the release of tension they finally give us
“He took the censure standing up, Abbey. I was very proud to have voted for him that day.” “Me, too.”
This is not the place for me to unpack my feelings on Amy and Jed
Her calling her Abbey here is interesting, personal, considering she’s been calling her “Mrs. Bartlet” all night and they’ve explicitly gone over the “you switched back to first lady” but I think it really works for the line
With this, it’s different, too, because it did come with no tangible penalty for Jed, but it’s still... something about integrity, maybe.
And Abbey saying “Me, too” is so gently hopeful, in a way, and it’s the first positive thing she’s said about Jed this whole time, really, and it gives you a nice feeling, like it’s going to be okay. Abbey and Jed, and Abbey just as a person
Donna looks so sort of regretful here you just want to reassure her that Abbey really, really isn’t upset with her, that she appreciates it, but it’s okay because you get the Canadian flags at the end
“Let’s get back to the party” is sort of one of the switches I’m talking about with Abbey, and you need it to move the episode along, and it wraps it all up
anyways this is an 11 page document and i’m sorry
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safertokiss · 4 years
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A/N: Hola my friends! This fic was my entry for the Secret Fic Swap I participated in with a couple of close friends on here and it was written and dedicated to @nerdgirljen​. It was so much fun to write and thank you guys so much for all the support and love!
Pairing: SPENCER x READER
Category: Fluff and SMUT
Word Count: 3.3k
ENJOY:)
~~~
MASTERLIST
~~~
Spencer had never really understood the concept of soulmates or love at first sight.
In his mind, it defied pretty much every scientific law about human interaction out there and was simply a coping mechanism for those who were romantically unlucky. At least that was what he had thought until a certain tech analyst walked through the BAU’s doors and into his life. 
He was frozen. Totally and utterly enamored by the woman his eyes were currently attached to. He watched her stumble into the bullpen, a large box situated in her arms, seemingly impairing the entirety of her vision and coordination, evident by the way she kept bumping into things in her path. It wasn’t until she hit a particular desk corner and spilled the contents of the box, her belongings scattering across the floor, that Spencer broke out of his stupor and took action. 
“Woah there, let me help you with that!”, he exclaimed, immediately rushing to her side and starting to collect some of the fallen items to put back into the box.
“Oh, thank you so much. Gah, this is so embarrassing. I promise you I’m not always this uncoordinated and clumsy”, she explained with a nervous chuckle. After everything was picked up and they both had stood up from their crouched positions, she hurriedly straightened out her skirt before outstretching her hand. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” She immediately noticed the slight panic that crossed his features at her gesture and was momentarily confused.
“I-uh-I kind of don’t, um, do the whole hand shaking thing. Yeah, uh, the number of pathogens spread through a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to...oh god I’m sorry you didn’t ask for a full-out science lesson. It’s, um, really nice to meet you, I’m Reid. Doctor. Spencer”, he sputtered out nervously.
Chuckling softly, Y/n retracted her hand, opting to instead lightly nudge his shoulder. “Well Reid Doctor Spencer, it’s nice to meet you too”, a teasing smile adorning her face as she spoke. Spencer quickly felt a warm blush spread across his features at the absurdity of his introduction.
“S-sorry about that. What I meant to say is that my name is-”
“Pretty boy!”
Both of their heads swiveled towards the sound, searching for the source, before landing on a man across the room.
“Hotch needs us in the briefing room. Stop flirting with the new girl and get your ass in here!” They watched him walk away chuckling before turning back to each other.
“Pretty boy huh? Well I guess it’s fitting, I mean you do have really nice cheekbones and dimples. And your eyes are kind of beautiful. Not that I ummmm-not that I think you’re beautiful or anything, it’s just uhhh...um...I’m gonna stop talking now.” Spencer could feel the blush returning to his features, watching the same happen to her, from the frenzied rambling that had just poured from her lips, but he found it endearing on her and quite honestly, really adorable. 
“I-uh I gotta go, you know, um deal with that, but it was very nice meeting you”, he sputtered out, sending a small wave in her direction. She shyly giggled at his nervousness which was surely reflected on her end as well. “See ya around Reid Doctor Spencer.”
“Spencer. It’s um-it’s Spencer.”
“Spencer”, she repeated back softly, nodding him off with a gentle smile on her face.
~~~
Spencer Reid was in love. The longer she was around him the more he realized he was completely and utterly in love with her, all of her. She was perfect in his eyes, intelligent, funny, a bit nerdy and just so adorable. The problem was just that he had absolutely no idea how to tell her how he felt. He had never really been the type to express his feelings to someone, especially to a girl as beautiful as Y/n. 
The female species wasn’t exactly his strong suit and he was very aware of that fact, painfully aware. However, he stayed hopeful that someday soon he’d muster up the courage to express his affinity for her. Realizing that today was definitely not that day, Spencer tried to push his conflict to the back of his brain so he could try to get some work done. Not before noticing that Y/n was slightly late, though.
Less than a minute after he noticed her absence, she came bursting into the bullpen with the largest grin adorning her features, an obvious pep in her step. Spencer watched as she skipped over to the rest of the team who were gathered around Emily’s desk, close enough where he could pretty much hear the majority of the words exchanged and profile their reactions.
He heard JJ ask what was making her so chipper this morning, and he chuckled softly to himself as he heard her immediately start rambling about whatever had her so elated. 
“Oh my god guys, you’ll never believe it! So a couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine asked me to help her with her website, because well...tech geek and all, so I got to mess around with all the software and went crazy! I was able to fiddle with the source code a bit and authorize a super high CRO and SEO to get her website out there. Not to mention all the growth hacking I was able to curate! Cool right?”
Y/n stopped to take a breath and noticed that the entirety of the team was staring at her with vacant expressions on their faces. She looked on with widened eyes as she asked, “What?”
“CRO?”, JJ questioned. Morgan awkwardly chuckled out a similar questioning tone, “SEO?” Of course that left Emily to bring up the rear. “Did I hear growth hacking in there?”
Her face scrunched up in confusion at all the questions that had just been hurled her way so suddenly. “Huh?”
“Baby girl we have absolutely no idea what any of the things you just mentioned are or what they do”, Morgan explained with a sympathetic smile on his face, as the other members nodded in agreement.
Spencer watched as Y/n’s face quickly morphed into one of utter disappointment at the knowledge that her colleagues had no clue what she was going on about. She had seemed so excited when she entered the bullpen earlier so he assumed she was probably very much looking forward to getting to talk all about it with her friends.
“Oh...that’s ok. Sorry for bothering you guys, sometimes I just get a little too excited and tend to ramble. I’ll um-I’ll talk to you guys later.” Y/n flashed them a small smile before making her way over to her desk, situated across the room near Spencer. 
“Hey Spence”, she shyly waved as she passed, a deflated look on her face. Trying to lift her spirits at least a little, he returned her gesture with a huge grin and wave, happy to see her smile brighten a bit at his enthusiasm. 
Once she was seated and facing away from him, he immediately found himself feeling overwhelmingly upset over her predicament. He hated seeing her look so defeated and down, she didn’t deserve to ever feel like that. She was simply too angelic for those kinds of feelings to permeate her mind. 
Spencer wished more than anything that he knew what she was talking about so she could go to him. He’d let her ramble to him for hours on end if it meant he could listen to her melodic voice and see her beautiful face up close. 
All of sudden Spencer slapped his hand against his head and groaned, “Of course you dipshit”, before pulling up a couple tabs on his computer.
For the next few hours his work was forgotten as he studied and learned pretty much everything there was to know about technical analysis and the programming that Y/n seemed so ecstatic about, anxious to give her, at last, a companion to discuss her passion with. 
~~~
“See you later Reid!”
Spencer’s head snapped up as he heard the people around him saying their goodbyes and goodnights, realizing that he had been distracted by his screen the entire day and that it was already time to go home. He watched as his friends walked out together, all laughing about something that Morgan had said, before noticing movement in the corner of his eye. 
As he turned his head he noticed that the only person who was still there in the bullpen with him was Y/n, and she was staring at the posse that had just exited the room, a longing look plastered across her features that broke his heart. Taking a deep breath and deciding it was now or never, he rose up from his seated position and made his way over to her, hoping that he had learned enough to lighten her mood.
“Hey there!”, he exclaimed when he had found himself right behind her. As soon as the words started escaping his lips, she jumped in her seat, her hand flying to her heart.
“Jesus Christ Spence! You scared the complete shit out of me!”
Chuckling softly at her overreactive response, he moved to sit on her desk, facing her heavily breathing sitting figure. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just saw you that you were still here and was wondering why you hadn’t left with everyone else?” She quickly looked down and blushed at his questioning, embarrassed of her answer.
“Oh I-um they just looked like they were having a lot of fun and I didn’t really want to interrupt so I thought I’d stay back for a little bit to-uh finish up some stuff.” Once she finished her unconvincing explanation, Spencer leaned back a bit and studied her. While this was something he found himself doing often, always getting distracted by her spectacular figure, he focused on her body language more than anything, noticing the dark circles underneath her eyes.
“Y/n, you look absolutely exhausted. Have you even been sleeping lately?”, he asked, genuine concern laced within his words.
“Y-yeah I haven’t really. I’ve kind of been pretty preoccupied in the last few days helping out a friend. It’s really fun, but it’s also very time consuming”, she stuttered out, a small smile gracing her lips.
“Oh right! I had heard you mention that earlier today! That must be awesome getting to basically build your own website!”
“I swear I feel like a kid in a candy store doing that kind of stuff. I just find it so relaxing and exciting at the same time!”
“I totally get it. I was really impressed with how well you were able to manipulate the site’s conversion rate optimization-did you know that a site’s CRO and SEO are considered as two of the most essential tools required to run a thriving website or online business. It’s actually astounding how much the results differ between competition depending on their efficiency.”
All Y/n could do, while Spencer rambled on and on about her most passionate subjects, was sit there in complete awe. The sound of the tech-geeky words that spilled from his beautiful lips was simply orgasmic. Never had she met someone who seemed as enthused as her when it came to all her technical endeavors, and she didn’t know exactly how to react. Her biggest crush on the entire planet was sitting in front of her spouting off facts like they were going out of style.
However, amidst all the wonder that circulated through her being, confusion washed over her.
“Wait hold up! What’s going on Spence?”
“Uhhh, what do you mean?”, he questioned shyly, a blush coating his face.
Narrowing her eyes at him she expanded her questioning. “I’ve known you for months now and I can guarantee I have never once heard you mention anything even remotely technical. In fact I’ve heard you explain time and time again how confused you are by the complexities of the simplest of technology. Spill, pretty boy”, she demanded, maintaining eye contact with him.
Figuring out that he had been caught, he shyly lowered his head as the blush on his face deepened, embarrassment coursing through his veins. “I-I noticed how excited you were this morning when you came parading into the office, the wide grin that adorned your face, the skip in your step. And I heard you ramble on and on about your friend’s website and you just seemed so damn happy and then they basically just shut you down right away because they didn’t understand and I-uh I hated seeing you like that and wanted you to have someone to talk to. So I spent all day today researching and learning so you could have someone to talk to, so you wouldn’t feel alone. I-I’m sorry if that’s creepy or if it’s too-”
Spencer was suddenly cut off mid-sentence as lips smashed against his own, effectively shutting him up. His eyes immediately widened at the bold action, before he melted into the kiss, desperately responding to her fervent advances with an equal passion. 
Y/n moaned into his mouth as his tongue probed at her wet lips, begging for entry. The feeling of their tongues entangling was euphoric and they both wanted, needed more. Spencer gently grabbed her and, turning so they were both facing it, lifted her onto the desk and stood between her legs. As the kiss deepened, their hands began to tear at each other’s clothing, Y/n hastily undoing his tie and dress shirt as he all but ripped off her blouse, groaning at the sight. 
“God Y/n you’re so fucking beautiful.” He watched her eyes roll back into her head at his words as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even closer. “Please Spence, I need you. I need you so much baby.” His eyes sparkled at her desperate plea, mirroring her need wholeheartedly.
Backing away slightly he unzipped her skirt and dragged it down her legs along with her panties, quickly reaching up to also unclasp her bra. “You’ve got me baby, you’ve got me.”
She surged forward and reconnected their lips, her hands weaving their way into his hair and tugging hard. The groan that escaped his throat lit her body on fire and further ignited her need for the man in front of her. His hands, that had been cupping her face, drifted downward stooping to briefly toy with her breasts before reaching his intended destination.
She moaned loud and deep as his hands cupped her sex, gently rubbing his fingers against her. He could feel her buck her hips slightly, searching for more. Receiving the message loud and clear, he inserted his pointer finger into her, reveling in the throaty groans that poured from her lips. As he added more digits into her and gently rubbed her clit, their lips moved rapidly against each other.
Y/n needed more, letting her hands lower to the obvious bulge that was straining against his slacks, palming him incessantly. Moaning hoarsely, he pulled away and quickly undid his pants, desperate for some sort of relief. As he stepped out of his slacks and boxers, he watched her eyes widen as they took in the sight in front of her.
“Woah.” He nervously chuckled at her response.
“Uh t-thanks?”
Giggling at his uncertainty she reached out and dragged him in once again, feeling his swollen tip bump against her, both of them moaning at the euphoric feeling. Realizing how fast things had moved, he pulled back slightly to search her eyes. “Are you sure baby?”
Falling even more in love with him, her smile widened as she nodded. “I am so very sure Spence. I-I love you.” She watched the grin that spread across his face at her confession.
“God Y/n, I love you so fucking much.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he lined himself up at her entrance and swiftly thrusted into her dripping heat. The overwhelming feeling caused both of them to let out matching groans of pleasure, Y/n latching onto Spencer and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to get a grip. Once he was sure she was ok, he started slowly thrusting in and out of her, soon setting a steady pace.
“Oh Spencer! You feel so perfect inside of me! So, so good!”, you exclaimed, cries of pleasure leaving your mouth.
“Baby you’re so warm and tight around me, I love you so much!” 
“I love you t-too!”
He gradually increased his already brutal thrusts, Y/n feeling herself fastly approaching the brink of ecstasy at the hands of the resident genius. Leaning back on her elbows, Spencer used the opportunity to pound even harder into her wanting body, his own release just around the corner. 
“Are you going to cum for me pretty girl?” She couldn’t control herself after hearing his dirty words, unaware that he was capable of such a thing, feeling her eyes roll back once again. She nodded fervently, about to crash over the edge. All rational thought was out the window once his fingers found her throbbing clit, rubbing incessantly, catapulting her into her climax, her pussy clenching around his rigid cock as she came.
“Oh my god Spencer!”
Her reactions were simply too much for him, groaning and moaning uncontrollably, finding his thrusts sputtering out of control as his cock twitched deep inside of her, quickly reaching his highly anticipated orgasm. She felt his seed fill her up completely as he panted out her name over and over again, both of them coming down from their highs, breathing deeply.
“Wow. Fucking wow,” she blissfully sung, a wide grin coating her lips.
“Y/n, baby, that was insane. You’re insane.”
He helped her off the desk so they could redress and finally leave the office, noticing how late it had gotten. They couldn’t help themselves from sending each other giddy smiles as they put on their clothes and eventually made their way down to their respective cars. 
Neither one of them seemed ready to leave each other just yet, some unspoken feeling crackling in the air between them. Taking the initiative, Y/n leaned forward, gently connecting their lips in a kiss that held the same passion from earlier, but was much more relaxed and romantic. Pulling back after a few moments, Y/n’s eyes sparkled up at Spencer’s as she spoke.
“Spence, what you did earlier...no one’s ever done something like that for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would go out of your way just to make me feel comfortable and happy.”
“Y/n, I promise you I wanted to wholeheartedly. Nothing matters more to me than your happiness. I just-I just love you so damn much. I think I have since you walked in and dropped all your shit on the floor”, he said chuckling. 
“Heyyyy, that was one time jerk”, she defended, a matching chuckle evident in her voice. “But I know what you mean. I think I’ve loved you since you introduced yourself as Reid Doctor Spencer, that memory will forever be embedded in my mind.” She couldn’t stop the light giggle that fell from her lips at the thought of their first meeting.
Meeting her eyes, suddenly a bit shy, he gently cupped her face, “What if, from now on, I introduced myself as your boyfriend?”, he asked cautiously, anxiously waiting to see how she reacted to his proposition. Instead of answering right away she jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and connecting their lips once more.
“I would love nothing more, my gorgeously intelligent boyfriend.”
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everything-laito · 3 years
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hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.
*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*
This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!
I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!
And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!
I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):
1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?
2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship
3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation
4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade
5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui
6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion
7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia
Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.
But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:
The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:
I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.
The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.
Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.
Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.
But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.
Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.
(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)
How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:
I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.
In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl” mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.
For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).
Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.
Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.
I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.
I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).
But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.
If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.
Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?
The philosophy of truth:
“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.
Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.
If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)
I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.
So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.
Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”
What the fuck is analysis:
The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.
This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.
I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:
To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”
But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.
I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マンコ (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.
Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.
DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.
No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)
Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.
When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.
For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.
Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:
There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:
Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…
First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.
That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.
I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.
Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!
Hope you enjoyed! -Corn
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robinsdearest · 3 years
Text
Ketchup Packets
Tim Drake x Reader
Peanut Butter and Oreos (Part 1) They’ll be okay (Part 2) Bobby pin (Part 3) Ketchup Packets (Part 4)
Tim threw another piece of notebook paper into the trash. It hit the other balls of wadded up notes and bounced away. How long has he been hunched over his desk? Tim glanced up to look at the clock. A couple days, maybe. A couple hours since the last cup of coffee, definitely. He groaned and slid a hand across his face. Stubble scratched his fingertips.
Jason’s voice almost scared him. Almost. “Timmy, my dude, you have to stop working.” He kept scribbling as Jason walked over to lean against the wall adjacent to the crumbling despair that was Tim. Jason poked his face. “I didn’t even know you could grow facial hair.” Tim slapped his brother’s hand away and continued to write his notes down. 
It had been three months since your plane went down. Three months since your parents had died. Three months since you slipped through Tim’s fingers. He dove into work to try and figure out what happened the morning of your plane crash. He hasn’t stopped working to find you in three whole months.
Parts of your plane sat scattered around the BatCave. Background checks for everyone at the airport that day, the days before and after laid loosely on the ground by Jason’s feet. Everything and everyone was clean. The owner of the plane your group borrowed publicly stated there was a fuse shortage in the engine causing it to explode, and subsequently, sent your plane barreling down into the ocean. News reporters claimed everyone from that flight deceased- the five supposed survivors not even missing anymore, all reported to be lost at sea. But Tim knew better- he knew you were alive. He knew it, had this gut feeling. Bruce always told him to trust his gut. Or did Superman say that? No, it was definitely the main bat. Or was it Diana…
Jason whacked the back of Tim’s head. Tim finally looked up at the Red Hood, scowling. Jason had to bite back a laugh: he knew how much pain Tim was still experiencing. Hell, he was dead for a while and no one bothered to search for him like Tim was doing for Y/N. “Come on man, let’s go get some grub. You look like you haven’t eaten in weeks.”
“Only a day.” Tim corrected. Another whack to the back of the head.
With the drive from the mansion into Gotham City and eventually to some burger joint, Tim couldn’t believe he was wasting time when he should be out searching for you. Even after three whole months of investigating, Tim was still coming up short. Every lead finished with a dead end. Every tangent lead to a backwash story that was publicized to explain the crash. Tim stared down at his tray of fries as Jason flirted with the cashier. Tim sorted through the files of his brain as he continued to work each angle of the investigation. Everything fit together but nothing made sense. Jason flung packets onto the table stirring Tim out of his trance. Jason was flaunting how he got a phone number from the cashier and waved around the receipt where it was written. Tim stared down at the packets on the table. Ten- what an odd number to grab. Tim counted five mustard packets and five ketchup packets. Tim reached for a ketchup packet, grimacing when he picked up the one that was busted open leaking on to the table. Of course he would grab the one that…
Tim immediately shot up and grabbed Jason by the collar. Jason choked on his bite of food as he dropped the rest of his burger. “Oi, dunce face, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jason fumbled into the passenger seat of the car as Tim shoved him forward, sprinted around to the driver side, and then started the car. Tim started rambling. Jason had a hard time keeping up.
“Why didn’t I think of that?” “Think of what? How you ruined my burger?” “Of course I wouldn’t have looked into the victims.” “Me. I’m a victim, you burger murderer.” “All of those doctors, all seemingly connected in one way or another.” “Doctors?” “Doctors, Jason! God, I’m an idiot. The one that wasn’t connect has got to be the leak. The leak that doesn’t fit but allows everything to make sense.” “Alright, I’m calling Alfred. Timmy, we need to get you checked out.”
Tim slammed on the breaks at the red light. The two brothers stared at each other, neither one moving. The light turned green, but Tim didn’t accelerate.
“Jason I’m talking about Y/N.” Jason’s face turned into a serious frown, and Tim continued. “I never looked into the doctors that were supposed to go on the mission trip. How could they be considered suspects when we see them as victims?” Tim held up the leaking ketchup packet. “One of them is the leak, the cause of the problem.”  Jason’s lips turned into a snarky grin. He nodded his head towards the direction of the mansion, and Tim turned his eyes back to the road.
He finally figured it out. He was going to find you. His brain went into overdrive back at the cave. Jason called Damien and Dick down to help sort things out as Tim furiously worked into the rest of the night. The other boys made calls and printed papers as Tim searched through all ten people on your flight. 
Tim had to narrow down who he couldn’t verify. Nine doctors and one medical school student. Seven doctors, excluding both your parents. Five, excluding the other doctors he knew personally. Four, excluding the doctor Bruce dated a while back- the Russian one, he thinks as he scans over her name. Three left. Damien drops a stack of files next to Tim. The youngest brother briefly puts a hand on Tim’s shoulder before quickly withdrawing and returning to Dick’s side. A quick scan of the discarded stack reveals two of the last three doctors had confirmed deaths, dental records verifying their respective bodies at the site of the plane crash. One left.
Tim stopped typing. Bruce walked down the stairs and stood next to the oversized computer; the main bat was dressed in the suit, cowl pulled off, ready to go on patrol. He glanced around the room to his birdies, and lastly his eyes fell on Tim. Red Robin stared at the screen as the last doctor stared back at him. Tim found his ketchup packet.
Shawn Ramirez. A plastic surgeon from Metropolis- invited to the mission by Mr. Y/L/N. Ramirez was born in Washington and had only lived in the big city for four years: most recent addresses put him in Texas, and before that California. Before California, he moved internationally to practice medicine in Africa. More specifically, Ethiopia. Where the mission was planned to go. Where Y/N was supposed to be. 
Ramirez had worked for the Ethiopian military; a surgeon who traveled the continent looking to heal. At some point in time, Ramirez had visited Europe with the military. No less than a week later, Ramirez was back in the states working as a plastic surgeon. What happened in Europe?
Dick handed Bruce a stack of files. Looking through them, Bruce’s frown turned ever so slightly down. Bruce then handed the files to Tim, who spared a quick glance at Batman before turning his attention down to the file. Flipping through the papers, Tim froze at the known associate. Part of the League of Assassins known to the world only as Abadi- an elitist who weaseled through militaries and governments for fame and fortune in the name of Ra’s al Ghul. Abadi was a known villain amongst the bat and birds as Bruce is the one that nearly took the man’s eye out, leaving a gashing scar from eyebrow to chin, forcing the villain to wear an eye-patch. Abadi’s last known location was a small island off of Cape Verde, just a couple hundred miles from the plane’s crash landing.
Tim turned the chair around to see the rest of the family dressed in their suits: Bruce, Dick, Jason, Cass, Damien, and even Alfred. Alfred held out Tim’s Red Robin costume. “Master Tim.” Alfred was the first one to speak in hours since Tim and Jason returned home from the burger shop. “Please bring them home.” Tim reached for the suit, but was met by Alfred’s hand. The butler squeezed his fingers, and Tim simply nodded in understanding. The group hustled to the Bat Plane; inside, Batman ordered the birds for flight paths, site takeover analysis, and rescue plan. Tim sat at the back of the plane while the others worked. Tim was going to go save you, he was finally going to be able to tell you. And then, like a light switch, everything turned bright.
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slowly-writing · 4 years
Text
Whispers
Avengers x Teen!Reader
Word count: 1.8K
Requested by @shady80smusicsingercolor : Avengers x teen!reader Where the reader is a cheerleader at the high school that Peter goes to, reader was during school hours when the teen heard the rest of the squad talking crap about them,teen gets upset,and after teen decided to skip practice,when they arrive to the avengers tower,Steve was the first one to notice but yet haven't notice the sadness in the reader face,but then realized the teen should be in practice,Steve now notices the teen face, calls for the team,and team comfort her
A/N: this was requested so long ago (literally April 10th), and I’m so sorry it took me so long. Thank you for your patients!
“Bye Pete, I’ll see you back home. I’ve got practice after school,” you remind the boy, waving as you turn the corner out of the cafeteria. You always left lunch a little early. Your next class was across the school and you really didn’t like to be late. So that’s what brought you here, alone and hearing voices ahead of you. Normally you wouldn’t think much of it, being in a school there’s constantly someone somewhere, talking about something. But then you heard your name.
You paused creeping close to the corner, but not quite rounding it. Listening to the voices you recognized as your teammates.
“What’s the deal with y/n and Peter? She’s always with him...I wonder if they’re dating,” Betty whispers to the group you can’t quite see.
“They can’t be. She’s way too good for Parker. It’s just a charity thing. Cause she lives with the avengers and he works there or whatever. She probably pities him,” Brad counters and you shrink further in on yourself.
“She’s kind of a weirdo too though. With that whole mysterious backstory and weird accent she tries to hide. Where’s she from? And how did she end up at the avengers tower?” Liz joins in and your frown deepens.
Did they really think you were shallow enough to think you were better than Peter? Just because he wasn’t on the football team? If only they knew how awesome he really was. And why did they suddenly want to know everything about you? They never asked before and you don’t really want to unpack their analysis of your home life anyways. That was none of their business.
You silently turn around, taking the long way to class. You really don’t want to see any of them right now.
xxxxx
When the final bell rang you sat at your desk, debating whether you could face practice. They don’t know you heard them gossiping, and it hurts more that they said it all behind your back, so you shake your head sending a quick text off to your coach, claiming you have a migraine, and start walking home.
You kept running over the things they had said. They really thought Peter was lame? After everything, you’d thought they’d gotten to know him. He’s the coolest person you’ve met, even without the whole spiderman thing. He was sweet and super passionate about the things he enjoyed. He was smarter than you could ever hope to be, but you never minded listening to him in the lab as he rambled about the new web shooters he was working on. You think he’s amazing, and you know that’s more than your massive crush talking.
Then there was the fact that they thought you were hiding things. It’s not like your living situation was a secret, but it wasn’t something you enjoyed talking about. You were born in Sokovia and lived there with your parents until the attack with Ultron happened. Most of that day is a blur, a mix of confusion, chaos, and repressed memories. But you know Steve got you out, but your parents were lost in the tragedy.
Steve and the other avengers felt some sort of responsibility to you. You’re still not quite sure why, but you know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. A lot of people from your hometown came out of it with nothing, and the team is always sure to help when they can, but you’re grateful for your new life and all that it’s given you.
You’re so lost in thought you don’t even register that you’re almost home until you reach the front door of the tower. You smile weakly at the security guard and make your way to the elevator, silently praying nobody is home. As the doors open you see your prayers haven’t been answered, but the silver lining is Peter’s not there yet. Maybe Steve will forget you have practice today.
“Hey, kiddo. Didn’t you have practice after school?” shit.
“Uh yeah...it umm. Got cancelled. Last minute...gardening emergency. They had to close the field for the day,” you wince and Steve raises an eyebrow. “I gotta go. Homework.”
With that lame excuse you scramble to your room, closing the door behind you and flopping face down on the bed.
xxxxx
“Hey, Peter. Did y/n seem off to you today? She seemed upset when she got home from school,” Steve asks Peter in the lab, Peter furrowing his brow before responding.
“No, not that I noticed, but I haven’t seen her since lunch. Maybe practice was rough, I know they’re getting ready for that competition in a few weeks,” Peter says softly, trying to figure out how to help you.
“No, practice was cancelled. They closed the field,” Steve’s words cause Peter’s head to snap up.
“No they didn’t. I saw them practicing after school. The soccer team was on the field too. I didn’t look too close because y/n says it’s embarrassing when I watch practices, but I know it happened,” Peter stands, setting his tools aside, “I’m gonna go talk to her.”
“I’ll come with you,” Steve follows him out of the lab, and not five minutes later, there’s a knock on your door.
“Coming,” you yell, only to immediately shrink back after opening the door. One look at their faces and you know they’ve caught you in your lie, “hey.”
“I think we need to talk,” Steve says in his captain voice and you let out a sigh, opening the door enough for them to follow you into the room.
“Why did you skip practice?” Peter’s head is tilting to the side like a confused puppy, and you have to remind yourself that this is a serious conversation, not a time to fawn over how cute he is.
“I just-”
“And don’t try to lie again,” Steve cuts you off. The man really knows you too well.
“You know how in movies and TV shows cheerleaders are always such jerks?” They both silently nod, “and how when I moved here I tried really hard to fit in so they’d be nice to me?” two more nods. “I thought it worked but it turns out that in real life they just say the mean things behind your back when they think you aren’t listening.”
“What’d they say?” Steve’s voice is softer now, he’s always been afraid of you having problems at school. He knows his fair share about bullying, and knows kids will always attack anything different. Your accent may have faded over the years, but it’s still clear that you’re not from here and you’re not quite used to the New York lifestyle. Back home everything was smaller, but you’re always excited to learn about your new home. It’s rare to see you without a smile on your face and he always hoped your naive compassion would save you.
“They were talking about how weird it was that I kept secrets about why I lived here and…” you trail off, looking at Peter. He looks ready to go to war for you, and you don’t want to admit the rest out loud, “that I must only hang out with Peter out of pity. But it's not true! Sometimes I think it’s the other way around. You’re so sweet and smart that sometimes I think the only reason you spend time with me is because you feel bad for me. The freaky kid from another country with no family. I try to fit in a school, so I don’t talk about my home, and I’ve learned to talk like they do. But no matter what I do, I still stick out. Maybe it’d be easier for you if we weren’t friends at all.”
By the time you finish your eyes are firmly locked on your hands in your lap, tears building up in your eyes.
“That’s not true,” Peter says firmly, in a rare show of anger. For a moment you think he’s mad at you, until he continues and you see the real object of his anger. “I don't hang out with you because I pity you, or I think I have to. I hang out with you because I like you for who you are. You make me feel normal. Not like the geeky kid at school everyone likes to tease, or the hero the city looks to for help. With you I’m just Peter. You listen to me ramble about tech I know you couldn’t care less about and you tell me about cheerleading moves that are so foreign to me they may as well be in a different language, but it doesn’t matter. We’re there for each other, it’s what we do. And I wish I could’ve been there for you this time. I know what it’s like to feel like you have to keep secrets but you don’t have to do that with me.”
You let his words sink in, letting him brush away the tears that have made their way down your cheeks before Steve speaks.
“And you have a family. I know you lost yours in Sokovia and I can’t even imagine that pain, but you’re not alone. You have all of us and any one of us will be here to listen to you, or take your mind off of it for a bit. What happened to you was traumatic, you lost your whole life and it’s okay not to want the kids at school knowing that. But you don’t have to forget where you came from to fit in.  Wanda makes food from Sokovia on Peitro’s birthday every year and I know she still keeps her journal in Russian. You’re allowed to miss your home, y/n. It doesn’t make you wierd, or ungrateful. It makes you human,” Steve wraps his arm around your shoulder and you lean into his side.
“I do like it here, but it’s just so hard sometimes,” you admit softly.
“We know it is, but you’re not alone,” Peter tells you and you smile up at him, gently taking his hand in your own.
“Now, I think you need a fun, relaxing night with no responsibilities. What do you say to a movie night. We’ll watch whatever you want,” Steve proposes and your smile widens as you nod. “Then it’s settled. I’ll go gather the troops, and you two come join us whenever you’re ready.”
It’s silent for a few moments after he leaves and you soon realize you’re still holding Peter’s hand. You go to pull away but his grip is firm. His other hand on your chin, drawing your eyes to his. “I mean it you know. I like you, as more than just a friend.”
“You do?” your voice is barely above a whisper, but there’s a happiness in your eyes you can’t hide and Peter’s whole face lights up.
“Yes really. I have for a while now, I just never knew how to tell you. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.”
“I do,” the words tumble out of your mouth before he’s even done speaking, but he’s smiling, and so are you. For now it all feels right as he gently presses his lips to yours. The whispers in the hallways don’t matter, because you have a family, and it seems you may have a boyfriend now too.
Tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff @xxxtwilightaxelxxx  @stop-drop-and-drumroll
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