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ladyloveandjustice · 3 years

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Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb.

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending.

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

#anime overview #spring 2021 anime #shadows house #oddtaxi #zombie land saga #fruits basket #vivy: fluorite eye's song #zombie land saga revenge #fruits basket the final #anime #my reviews #long post

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barzzal · 3 years

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when the ball drops

summary: out of all the times you wanted to bail, for once you were certainly glad you didn’t ditch this year’s new year’s eve party.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: language, parties, drinking, flirty banters + a smitten mat (set in a pandemic free au)

↳ genre: fluff, meeting a total stranger, early 2000’s romantic/comedy typa thing (what i think at least)

↳ length: imagine; 5.9k

↳ masterlist: the barn

note: this is an entry for @hockeynetwork’s winter fic exchange and i was matched as @bqstqnbruin’s secret santa! i genuinely hope you get to enjoy this, boo!! i wanna thank a few mutuals, @tkachukme @calgarycanuck @pizzarandomness (esp @thirteenisles !!) for helping me out so i could get thru with writing this imagine! you guys are so nice i truly appreciate all of you. happy holidays & happy new year, everyone! 💕 (gif used: mine)

Every year you swear to yourself that you would spend the New Year’s at home, eating a peaceful dinner by yourself and maybe enjoy a good bottle of wine whilst you spend the whole night watching The Holiday. But just like all the other years you have spent alone since you’ve moved to New York, you end up breaking that same promise, pretty much with the help of your two best friends Emma and Katie.

Now, instead of being curled up in your living room, wearing your favourite knitted sweater and away from all the New Year chaos happening all at once in the very best place to celebrate such a festive occasion, here you are, getting your second glass of vodka tonic as you wait for the goddamn ball to drop.

The local bar has always been crowded especially during this time of the year. You and your friends already made it an annual thing which is probably the reason why despite the yearning you have for the idea of spending it all alone, you couldn’t find enough courage to ditch them and disappear even just for one night.

“Where are the girls?” Gavin, the owner of the bar whom you’ve already befriended due to the amount of times you and the girls spent helping him close up was busily wiping the counter when you sat in your usual seat.

You casually motioned your hand to where you left Emma and Katie, dancing with men they’d most certainly end up kissing once the clock strikes twelve.

“Alone again? You’ve got to blow off some steam, y/n.” He greets you with a concerned look exuding from his virile exterior. You idly shake your head, giving him a tight smile to reassure him that you were doing okay.

“It’s not that big a deal.” is the usual thing you say to people when your being ‘alone’ on the holidays becomes in question. “Besides, I’m a big girl, Gavs.” You proudly announce, leaning against the bar with your palm resting underneath your chin.

“I know you’re a ‘big girl’.” He rolls his eyes before his gaze trails off to your friends and then landing onto a couple of young lads from across the room. “I’m just saying, loosen up. Meet people. It feels nice to have someone holding you close at night so don’t be too hard on yourself.”

A snort bursts from you as soon as you hear the words leave Gavin’s mouth. Who would have known a guy as tough-looking as him would be too much of a softy underneath?

“What?” He holds his guard as he continues making your drink. The liquid swirling around a few ice cubes and a shot of liquor.

“Nothing, nothing. I just– I didn’t think you were one of those people.” You say, clearing your voice once you’ve finally gathered yourself. “You know, the sappy romantics.”

Gavin looks at you, giving you an ‘Oh, please.’ look. “No, ‘cause that’s where you’re wrong.” He protests. “I’ve always been this soft, “sappy romantic” kinda guy. You just choose to see me the way you see me; a typical macho man who hands you good drinks.” He pauses, finishing off with the last touches of your drink. “But you know what? That’s fine. ‘Cause that’s how I know you’re just like me.” He then slides the cold drink towards you.

“What do you mean?” You were intrigued to be fair. You already had your head tilted to the side trying to piece something that could justify what he just said.

“That.” He looks at you, index finger circling before your eyes to make his argument even more compelling. “You act like a strong independent woman, which by the way you still are,– but you have to admit that you do want someone who’s gonna want to spend his New Year’s watching that dumb old movie of yours.” He says with a grin before he pours another customer a shot of tequila.

You were sure you wanted to just shrug it off, but somehow, you can’t help but think of how his words hit you in the subtlest way. Each word bearing an insane amount of possibilities of him being right all along.

But what’d he know anyway? It’s not like he knew you better than anyone else. Maybe it’s just his way with words. Or maybe he’s just that good. After all, that’s basically the reason why he’s running a goddamn bar, right?

𖥸

It wasn’t Mat’s first time spending New Year’s away from his family but if he only had a choice, he’d certainly take the next plane with no question. However, given how the team’s fight for the Cup is going stronger than the last season, he couldn’t bring himself to risk going away and missing out on his usual routines. So, for the past couple of weeks he’d let himself be stuck with Beauvillier throughout the holidays.

Now, for the sake of festivities, the two decided it’d be best to come out to the city and have fun welcoming the New Year along with some good friends that were surprisingly available at the last minute. That being said, the local bar was already the third one they’ve gone to having started the drinking binge earlier than intended.

“Happy New Fucking Year, Motherfuckers!” The loudest and perhaps, the drunkest man cheered at the center of the dance floor, holding up his drink carelessly as he danced to the mind numbing EDM coming off from the DJ’s booth.

“Way to get wasted. Am I right?” Dan says as he stands to gather everyone and clink their beer mugs for the nth time.

“Somebody’s definitely gonna miss the ball drop.” Tito snides, referring to the drunken man cheering tirelessly. Mat shakes his head and idly laughs. Their glasses meet halfway, causing some of the beer to spill over the table. The loud music and cheers echoed in Mathew’s ears, finding the whole scene a little too overwhelming despite how he liked to loosen up with bottomless drinks coming his way.

Somehow, he was thankful that he needed a second to breathe which only meant having to take his eyes off of the same guys he hangs with on and off the ice. Because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been able to see someone so beautiful yet seemingly out of place when his gaze landed onto that one girl sitting by the bar all by herself at what seems to be the loudest pub in the city.

“God, she’s pretty.” The words unknowingly slip off his tongue, making him realize he’s announced his thoughts out for the group just enough to make their brows quirk at the now out-of-reach Mathew.

“What?” Anthony leans closer to him so as to give himself a view of what Mat had his eyes peeled for.

“That girl by the bar, she’s— she’s really pretty.” Mathew says, completely sure that he has never said anything true in his life. Much to his surprise, the boys gathered around and turned their heads towards the girl sitting by the bar.

“So? Go and talk to her, man.” Anthony casually proposes with a nudge, urging him to go after her.

Mathew immediately lets out a foolish scoff and chooses to gulp a large amount of liquor from his mug.

“Yeah, just go for it. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Tyson chides, looking at the girl who has utterly made their night a little more interesting. That being said, being stuck with the three biggest blokes wasn’t that too interesting to begin with.

“Oh, worst thing? She could hear me!” Mat runs a hand through his hair, incapable of taking his eyes off of her even just for a second.

“You know if you don’t, I will.” Tyson puts his beer down and acts as if to make the move Mathew was too hesitant to do himself in order to boost his mate.

“Fuck off. Fine. Hold my beer.” Mat rolls his eyes and shoves Tyson his mug before gathering himself by straightening creases off his suit along with a few sharp breaths to ease out the nervousness he’d been feeling.

You watch the teeny tiny leaf of mint swirl around the whirl of liquor you’ve successfully made, ignoring all the background noise, still evidently fixated on the words Gavin has left you with earlier. Has it really been that long since you allowed yourself to be fully vulnerable around someone?

A sad smile escapes your lips, one that made the man that was now towering all over you wonder what could have possibly caused such melancholy on the most beautiful girl he has seen all throughout the city. That’s a rather heavy way to put it but that doesn't mean he was lying. He did find you really pretty. Maybe even a little too much and too out of his league.

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts.

“Hi.” He says, gray eyes illuminated by the strobe lights hitting your direction. You give him a tight smile, acknowledging his presence and frankly even the boldness he had to strike up a conversation.

“I just wanted to ask if what you’re drinking is any good.” Mat subconsciously reprimands himself for coming up with what is yet to be the lamest thing he’s ever told a girl.

Great. Now, you’re asking her if a vodka tonic is good? As if it could get any better? He thinks to himself. So, to compensate and reduce further damage, he plays it off by laughing quite sheepishly as he absent-mindedly massages his nape.

Noticing what the man was doing, you let out a shy laugh too, biting your lower lip as you find his foolish attempt of hitting on you quite adorable.

“Wow. You’re really good at this.” You tease, now giving away a playful smile, poking at his middle school pick up line.

Mathew chuckles. His doe eyes shy and alienated by the confidence he certainly knew he had not until a few seconds ago when he met yours. “I swear I’m better than this.” He tries again, this time earning himself a soft giggle from you.

Atta boy, Mat.

“I’m Mat by the way. Mathew Barzal.”

He reaches out his hand which you gladly took. It was calloused and rough around the edges whilst Mat found yours completely fitting in his. Your eyes meet halfway as you both shook each other’s hands. Fingers lingering quite longer than it should be.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“So, you’re telling me you haven’t had a tonic before?” You ask him, hands now all to yourselves. Mat leans against the bar, his elbow resting on the counter, unable to suppress the embarrassment now dawning on him upon remembering his little set back.

“I’m sort of a vodka tonic connoisseur.” He kids in an attempt to redeem himself. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

You look at him, shaking your head at how unbelievably gorgeous this man is. “Fine. It wasn’t. I’ll give you that.”

“So,” He takes a deep breath before taking one of the empty seats beside you. “I– I can’t help but wonder, I mean– if it’s not too forward of me, how come you’re drinking alone on New Year’s?”

You take a sip off of your drink and faintly shake your head, dismissing his query. “Hmm. Actually, no.”

Mathew muttered an “oh.” at the thought of hearing what he thinks you’re about to say next. To his surprise, and frankly feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, you motion towards your best girls, Emma and Katie who were now obviously way too fond of the guys they just met.

“See those girls?”

Mathew nods, the answer to his question now becoming much clearer and put together. An answer that absolutely went along with his cards well.

“Those are two of the most important persons in my life going at it at a New Year’s Eve Party.”

“Would it be wrong to ask why aren’t you ‘going at it’ like how they’re doing it now?”

Is he always this formal? You think, lips curving to a grin.

“What?” He asks when he sees the expression (he can’t quite put a finger on) on your face.

“Nah. I’m all good. I mean, not that I don’t want to. I just–” You pause. Unsure of whether telling him the truth would do your case any better. What’s there to lose anyway? He’s just some guy you’re bound to meet at the bar. It’s not like you didn’t anticipate a scenario like this from happening, right?

“Just take me as someone who isn’t really fond of big parties,” he then cuts you off and finishes your sentence, “But still go anyways.”

“Exactly.”

Gavin pops in for a bit, handing Mathew a bottle of beer he was certain of not ordering. He looks at him puzzled. A silent question that Gavin answered with a wink before getting back to tending to his alcohol induced customers.

Apparently, it’s on the house.

“How come you’re here chatting with me when your friends are all the way there?” You motion towards a curly haired man and the other boys across the room. One was even smiling at you but you just opted on giving him a nod before turning your head back towards Mathew.

“Well, I didn’t like the idea of having you celebrate the New Year’s alone.” He honestly says. But since you were the kind of person who wasn’t the best at taking any type of compliment nor flirty exchanges like a normal person would, you roll your eyes and be the blunt person you were always known for. “Oh. I thought you saw a girl sitting alone at the bar and saw that as an opening.”

To be fair, Mat wasn’t really intimidated by your remark. In fact, he actually liked how straight forward you were with him. You didn’t look at him the way he’s gotten used to whenever he comes up and introduces himself to other girls; something that only made him more interested in you. He can’t help but want to know what exactly is going on in your mind. Not the creepy kind, of course. Just the one where he’d rather spend the New Year’s getting to know a total stranger than getting insanely pissed with the same men he’s spent most of his days with.

“That too.” He admits, taking a sip off his beer without breaking his eyes off you.

There was a sheer silence for a moment. The kind that Mat knew was much deafening than the booming sound of the usual dreadful New Year’s Eve Party. “So tell me,” Mat regains himself, catching your attention once again. “What would you rather be doing tonight? You know, if you hadn’t had to come out here.”

He watches your lips quirk thinking about what it was that you actually wanted to do tonight. Then again, you only had one thing in mind.

“I kinda wanted to spend it alone for the past three years.”

“That long? How come?”

“Well, you know, for some peace and quiet. Maybe watch a movie or two.”

Like what he has been doing since the moment he’d gone to talk to you, he watches you run your fingers around the rim of your cold drink. Evidently immersed in your own thoughts from trying to piece out the real reason behind your grave wanting to spend the occasion alone.

Turning the tables, you ask the same question back, “What about you? I mean, other than getting shit faced, what would you rather be doing?”

Mathew takes a deep breath trying to suppress the longing he’s felt for the past few weeks. He just misses his family so much that he couldn’t help but wonder how they’re doing even if he’s constantly kept in touch with them hours before he’d gone out with the boys.

“I’ll be with my folks. You know, all that usual family stuff.” He answers you shortly.

You didn’t think much of what he’s told you so you just tell him the very thing that crossed your mind. “You know, it’s amazing how two people who didn’t even want to be here find each other just so they could bitch about not wanting to be here a little bit more.”

The two of you share a good laugh, utterly and undeniably enjoying each other’s company. It didn’t feel weird having to talk to a total stranger, let alone let them have bits and pieces of yourself that only enables them to put together an image of you that isn’t even as close to who you really are. Regardless of that notion, there was something about how Mathew connected with you, and how you connected with him.

It was far from being the movie type of thing, but you have to admit, the remainder of the time you two have spent talking over a half empty bottle of beer and a glass of vodka tonic has definitely made the two of you feel this unexplainable wanting of having to learn more about each other. That being said, when all drinks were drunk till its last drop, Mathew couldn’t help himself from wanting to spend a bit more time with you. Maybe, even the whole night if you’d only let him.

“D’you want to get out of here?” He shoots his shot as quickly as he could, afraid that losing even just a second would mean losing a night of spontaneity with you.

You have long waited for a reason to miss the annual party. And if that meant having to wait three years just so you could stumble upon a tall and fairly handsome man that was going to save you from a dreadful evening, nothing would’ve felt as right as this if it weren’t for the push Mat had stored in his piercing eyes and mischievous grin.

You didn’t have to give it much thought. After spending a whole hour exchanging little trivias of yourselves, Mat finally had it easy in making a riveting case. You sigh in defeat as you fish out a few cash from your purse and slide it into your tab.

Excitement now exuding from Mathew, he bobs his brows up and down whilst he watches you roll your eyes once again for the hundredth time tonight. “I’m gonna hate you for this.” You tell him as you get off the bar stool.

Mat hurriedly signals Tito for his coat to which he was able to catch the moment he had tossed it towards his way. He then gets yours that was placed on the back of your seat before finally following you out towards the door.

“I highly doubt that.”

𖥸

Mathew draped your coat over your shoulders, helping you to slip into it. You politely say your thanks and hold your purse close, your gloves gripping onto the leather as the two of you stroll the streets of New York, the winter breeze brushing on your cheeks with every stride you make.

“So,” You begin, putting both of your hands inside your coat pockets. “Where are you taking me, Mat?”

He tries to think for a second. The thought of not having a concrete plan for the night finally dawns on him. He clicks his tongue and breathes in the familiar scent of the city. Mathew looks around the block and spots the good old food truck he and the boys once tried when they were out for an away game with the Rangers.

“How about New York’s finest burrito?” He points to where the truck was parked, clueless to how his sudden movement placed him inches closer to you. You didn’t notice it until you looked at him for his eyes were still pinned to where the truck was at.

Mat’s eyes were pretty. That’s a known fact. But what you didn’t realize was how astonishing they are not until you got this close. You took in the sight sitting before you as fast as you could while he was still preoccupied like a five-year-old kid seeing an ice-cream truck pass by the neighborhood. Your eyes linger from his well structured brows, his unbelievably long lashes, down to the tip of his nose and his rosy cheeks before finally settling down to his cherry plump lips. All of which were more than enough to send butterflies in your stomach.

“O-Okay.” You agree. Mathew takes you by the hand before you can even say a word. Thank the gods for letting you live in a city that seems to never stop the hustle to still have open food trucks good for a quick bite at this time of the night close into New Year’s.

“Hey, bud. Two sixes to go, please.” Mathew says politely once he knocks on the window.

“You’ve got to try this, I swear.” He looks back at you with the same warm smile beaming on his face.

“Unless you want a proper meal? I mean, there’s a diner down the–” You immediately cut him off and take out your purse, offering to pay for it instead. “No! It’s fine, really. I’m a bit hungry myself.”

After spending the whole time waiting for the wrapped snack, arguing on who would be paying, you let Mathew have this one for now even if you didn’t like others paying for what you can pay yourself.

You take a good look at your watch and see that you only have about an hour left till midnight. An idea pops in your head, making you gasp at the thought. Mathew looks at you with a half-eaten burrito in his hand, his brows all furrowed as if to ask a piece of your mind.

“Come on, I know where we should go.”

𖥸

Mathew never thought he’d found himself standing on a rooftop of a random building overlooking the Empire State during one of the coldest times in the city. The things that has only kept him sane was the girl who was still holding his hand, the city lights that have always left him in awe, and of course, the well heated rooftop.

There have been a few exchanges that are quite notable over the time you’ve spent with Mathew. He’s told you about the usual night outs he and the boys have for leisure, the family he had back in Coquitlam, how much he misses his mom and his sister, and how much love he has for hockey that he ended up doing the thing he loved most for a career.

Him, on the one hand, pretty much learned the same stuff about you. Well, almost, for he has yet to ask you the one thing that has been bugging him off all night.

You were telling him how this was your safe haven in the city and how much you loved going here every time you felt like needing to take a deep breath and step back from the world when he asked you a simple question. One that’s absolutely left you surprised (and a little bit impressed) that he still even remembered it at this point.

“What’s the movie about? You know, the one you’ve been wanting to see tonight.” He asks, both of his hands inside his pockets to keep warm.

The two of you sat on the bench facing thousands of lights illuminating the whole city. You look at him for a second, biting your lip as you contest with yourself, the thought of Mat being the kind of douché that would shit around women and their romantic comedy films comes rushing to you like a cold December breeze.

“Alright, why do you want to know?” You pass the ball back to his court. To which Mat shortly answers with a level-headed sigh. “I kinda get the feeling it has something to do with the three-year thing.”

“You’re nosy.” You kiddingly say, earning a chuckle from him.

“You’ve spent the whole night walking with me and I can barely even feel my legs anymore, y/n. Trust me, between you and me, you know you’re the nosy one.” The two of you share a small laugh, your voices are the only sound that can be heard besides the sleepless city acting as a white noise to you and Mathew’s little bubble.

“Fine. And you’re a fucking athlete, so don’t even start.”

You playfully give him a nudge on the shoulder when he starts mimicking what you say. Mat stops immediately and looks at you with the same doe eyes glinting under the security lights that the rooftop had. He then patiently waits for you to gather your thoughts, breathing in all of New York as he lets himself drown in your presence.

You didn’t know how but there was this unspeakable comfort you feel around Mat. Sure, he was just a total stranger you’ve met a few hours ago, but no one, not even the guy who dumped you after your five-date rule, was able to connect with you at the same level as Mathew did.

“It’s not that I want to see it so bad. I’ve watched it for like– a reasonable amount before it became my comfort movie. Plus, it’s literally called The Holiday. Why wouldn’t you want to see it during the holiday?”

You tell him a bit more of how you’ve come into liking it, stalling him from the real reason why you wanted to celebrate the New Year’s alone. But you know, that even after all the circles you’re willing to go through just to keep Mat at bay, you’re bound to lose all your strings and resort to telling him in the end. You just hope you wouldn’t be making the same mistake you’ve made three years ago.

You told Mathew about your on and off childhood sweetheart Claude who has always kept you high and dry throughout the years of being together. (That is if you were in fact together.) He was the constant reminder that you will never be the kind of person someone would want to stick around with.

You and him go a long way. You both ended up going to the same university because he just had to have you around and that he couldn’t afford not being with you even just for a second. He said that he couldn’t take the thought of having to see you only on the holidays so as the dumb kid you once were, your feet followed his everywhere he’d gone.

That cycle went on and on until you finally had the courage to leave everything behind and move to New York. Months as a new kid in the city, you were scared, of course. You spent your days hanging around your apartment, doing all sorts of crap you can even think of just so you wouldn’t have to leave your flat. Although, meeting Emma and Katie was the biggest push you needed to finally let yourself let loose. Long story short, at the first New Year’s Eve Party you’ve ever gone to after moving in the city, the person you least expected to see was the very first one to come out of Gavin's bar. Claude.

Just like what a normal person would do, the two of you sat down and caught up. Pretty much the same thing you’ve gone with Mathew. Although only a lot less chit chat and a lot more kissing.

Claude told you his real intentions. He said that he wanted to start something with you for real. Of course, you had let him but you have made the biggest mistake of telling him about your five-date rule.

Lo and behold, Claude did stick around for the fifth date. That being said, he had stayed only for the fifth date. You saw him sneaking out of your flat so early in the morning, leaving you nothing but a voicemail that said his foolish reasons and insincere apologies. Since then, after a lot of major hook ups here and there, you’ve never let yourself become as vulnerable and stupid as you once were with the biggest douche you’ve ever met.

“It’s crazy, I know. You can laugh about it.” You say when Mat hasn’t spoken for a few seconds.

He takes a glance at you, a tight smile on his face. “I don’t think it’s crazy. That man is crazy. And also, a big prick. Classic dick move.” He tells you before he turns his eyes back to the city.

“Well, yeah. That’s me. That’s the holiday story.”

“A crappy one, of course.” You add.

Mat shakes his head no. He didn’t know why exactly but all he wanted to do at that moment, a few seconds before New Year’s, was to give you something,– even just a memory you could look back on. That that story isn’t going to be the one you’d be remembering for the next holidays. He wanted his to be something that’ll make your three-year-old crappy story long gone and forgotten. That his version would be the one that’s stuck.

“Definitely not this one.”

As the clock strikes twelve, cheers erupted throughout New York along with fireworks shooting into the city’s midnight sky. The first thing you see upon looking back were the same kind eyes of the man whom you have randomly met at the party you dreaded most. Only this time, drowning you little by little as it becomes iridescent under the thousands of lights covering New York City.

You were frozen to your seat as Mat’s face inch closer to yours. You feel his breath against your cold skin as if it was lulling you to sleep. His hands find its way to your face, cupping both of your cheeks rather gently as he finally paints a new memory you’d be carrying for the rest of your holidays.

“Happy New Year.” He greets you, almost like a faint whisper whilst the two of you gasp for breath. You blink a few times just to process what had just happened and digest how unbelievably good that kiss was.

Mathew’s hands were still on your cheeks. You held them close so he’d know you weren’t ready to let go. You take a deep breath, gathering enough courage to ask him an unusual way of greeting someone a Happy New Year.

“Will you walk me to my car?”

𖥸

You have both of your hands tucked inside your coat pockets as you walked the street leading to where you left your car. Mat was just telling you about the game happening next Thursday against the Bruins and how it would mean a lot to him if you’d come and see him play.

“To be fair, the Bruins are good.” You commented, a playful smirk plastered on your face rather teasingly.

Mathew lets out a snort as he rolls his eyes, chuckling at the thought of you dissing on his team the moment you had the chance. “Hey, both teams are good.”

“It’s just the matter of who’s better.” You finish his sentence, yet again working your way with a clever remark. Mat hums, not necessarily agreeing with your sentiment.

“So will you come?” He asks again just so he could hear you say yes. You take a deep breath, not letting yourself think too much of the said invitation. If you’re going, you’re going as a friend. Actually, you weren’t even sure if you could even call yourself such a label.

You nod your head yes to which had become the reason of Mathew’s glee. The two of you walked side by side in peace, basking in the comfort of each other’s presence.

Once the rush of excitement about you coming to one of his games starts to wear down, Mathew begins to feel the weight of walking befall on him as it grows quicker with each step he takes. With his brows meeting halfway, he looks at you, eyes evident with confusion.

“Where did you park your car exactly? I feel like we’re walking straight to Long Island.” He chortles, scratching his temple quite adorably.

You bit your lower lip as you looked up at him. Mathew’s physique towering over yours. “I uh– I took a cab to the party. My car’s actually parked outside my apartment.” You admit with a shy laugh.

Mat’s mouth went agape upon hearing you confess; awkward silence envelops the two of you with every second spent not talking to one another. Not long after, he decides to break the ice, undeniably impressed at how he’d never seen it coming.

Clever. He thinks, incapable of stopping his gut from swirling. His smile widens when he sees you looking at him; unfazed and perhaps, enamoured.

𖥸

Mat did walk you to your car. The two of you exchange your thank you’s; utterly grateful for what has to be the best New Year’s you had in years.

You wanted to ask him for one last cup of coffee because the last thing you wanted him to do was leave. But after all the things you’ve gone through with the man within such a short amount of time (and frankly, even a tedious walk) you still failed to muster enough courage to stop him from doing so.

Once you see him get in the lone cab that miraculously passed by your neighborhood at such an ungodly hour, you close the door behind and head straight to your flat.

You get home to the sight of your weighted blanket spread over your couch along with a couple of pillows that seems to be the best place to bury yourself in after a tiresome night out. Things were just as they were left hours ago; prepped for a much awaited movie night. As planned, you quickly get out of your winter clothes, head for a quick shower, before finally slipping into some comfortable nightwear.

You were just finishing up putting the bowl of popcorn and a bottle of Chardonnay on top of the coffee table when a buzz coming from the intercom catches your attention.

Once your hands were free, you quickly made your way towards the box, a bit irked at the thought of Katie and Emma ruining your long-overdue New Year agenda upon remembering how she’d told you to let her in the building just in case Katie gets a little too overboard.

“Emma, I’m about to watch Jude Fucking Law. Just come up!” You hurriedly say, turning your head back to the screen which already had the movie on pause.

However, instead of Katie’s whiny and drunken voice, what you heard was the same familiar chuckle that had been cruising your mind all night.

“You know, I don’t think I mentioned that I haven’t watched The Holiday. Is Jude Fucking Law any good?” He asks. A mental image of how his eyes crinkle when he laughs comes to mind upon hearing his voice.

Once again, pretty much like how you’ve spent the whole evening with Mathew, a wide smile lets loose as you press the black button. “Come on up.”

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #letters to barzy #barzzal imagines

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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

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completely brainless 1am ramble

On the topic of stagnation, and the geopolitical plot vs. character-driven plot discussion people are having rn:

Maybe this is just a nostalgia-blinded bias of mine, having started with the Disc War, but...I’ve never minded the more character-based plots? Anyone who’s followed my blog for a bit knows that I love the Pet War, but I also loved the Disc War and the Final Pet War too. In those conflicts, the factions served as a backdrop rather than being the main focus, and the plot was driven by the characters and their grievances with one another.

One of my favorite smaller plots from Season Two was Fundy and Ghostbur. That had absolutely zilch to do with factions, or L’manburg, or geopolitics, but it was honestly one of the most well-acted and heart-breaking plots I’ve seen from the SMP in its entirety.

I think that character-driven plots are places where the SMP’s really shined, at least to me personally.

Maybe that’s not everyone’s thing, but I don’t think it’s bad for the stories to be more character-driven! I think a lot more of the SMP than people realize has been like that this entire time. I think people sometimes overestimate how much the factions have actually mattered, in a sense?

Remember how the Disc War started?

Tommy and Sapnap were a pair. Punz and Tubbo were a pair. Ponk and Alyssa were a pair. Dream logged on to stop the fighting and Tommy and Sapnap killed him, leading to Dream allying himself with Ponk and Alyssa. These weren’t faction lines dividing everyone, but personal grudges. That’s how the SMP’s entire plot started. “You and me, versus Dream,” right?

While the L’manburg War was amazing and a game-changer for the SMP storyline as a whole, I feel like the motivations, the driving forces for that war were actually a lot weaker than the recent conflicts. It was a cool bit of political roleplay, yes, but it was kind of just a war for the sake of a war, to be honest.

L’manburg was founded because some Americans got in the way of Wilbur and Tommy stealing everyone’s blaze rods. It went from a hotdog-selling business to a literal independent country because...revolution, I guess? And Dream declared war because...sometimes you just gotta kill some people sometimes, y’know...?

It was the character-based conflicts from before that war that ended it. The discs ended the war even though they had nothing to do with the reason L’manburg seceded, because Tommy and Dream’s grudge against each other held more weight than the actual country. Who cared if L’manburg gained its independence as long as Dream gained the discs? That was a bigger win for him.

The conflicts that happened afterwards continued that trend of being character-driven rather than faction-driven. L’manburg kind of disappeared for a month as the Disc Saga continued with Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Quackity founded the Cartel and then the Pet War started up because of Sapnap.

None of these conflicts had anything to do with factions, really, and having all these little smaller stories gave a chance for people like Quackity, Fundy and Skeppy to get in on the drama more and throw their hats into the ring.

That’s what I think is happening right now, except since there are a lot more people on the server now, they’re starting up their individual plots around the same time so that they start to overlap.

And remember how Fundy and Tubbo started up the Dreamon Hunters plot, picked out new skins, built a new setting and everything just for that plot to never take off due to needing to prepare for the Manberg Festival? Such a cool plot idea, and it just never happened, really.

Well, now, the Badlands have been having fun creating their own Blood Vines plot, and since they aren’t very involved in what Tommy and Dream are doing, they have space to flesh out that idea and not have it be overshadowed by other things. Whether or not you, as a viewer, want to follow along with the side plot is your choice! But Bad seems to be having a lot of fun telling his own story.

Quackity creating Mexican L’manburg and having that turn into a five-day plot that ended in war? That’s basically just the L’manburg War 2.0, and if you don’t feel like following along with the plot -- again, no need to! But Karl finally getting his chance to shine, Sapnap and George having character development with Dream, and Eret, Puffy and H getting in on some drama was honestly pretty exciting!

The thing about the SMP is that it’s not really built to be just one storyline. It’s never just been about L’manburg.

While the Camarvan was built, Fundy and Eret were having their Prank War.

The same day Dream and Tommy fought to bargain with Skeppy, Fundy was getting into a court battle with Punz, Eret and Tubbo.

While the Election was happening, so was the Pet War.

In the middle of Pogtopia building its resistance, the Battle of the Lake happened with Tommy, Sapnap and the Badlands.

The SMP has always had storylines going on at the same time. It’s just that since most of the viewers have always focused on Tommy and Wilbur for the most part, a lot of the time those extra storylines slipped through the cracks of memory.

Now let’s get back to the geopolitics vs. character-driven thing:

This feeling of “stagnation” isn’t new! The SMP’s had periods like this, where it feels a bit slower and everyone’s a little confused about where it’s going before.

Remember that period from like, October 18th to November 6th or so where pretty much nothing happened to progress the plot? And since none of the other streamers on the SMP were doing their own plots, it was just kind of this period of...”who knows what’s happening right now?”

The thing about a politics-based plot vs. a more character-driven, million side-stories type deal is that as long as none of the country leaders were online, nothing could really happen to progress the main plot, and since the character-driven stuff wasn’t the main focus, that couldn’t drive much either.

So...yeah, you got the Tubbo Bathwater stream three days after the Festival happened. That’s just kinda how it went.

Schlatt only got on very rarely, Wilbur a bit less rarely, and Dream logging onto his own server was always more of a surprise more than a routine. Tommy and Techno were getting into hijinks, but there weren’t really any political stakes. Even though he was supposed to be exiled, Tommy just moved back into his house anyway, because who was going to stop him? The one person who cared about him staying out wasn’t there to do anything.

Yes, the Big Plot Days like the Festival and the Meeting were jaw-dropping and amazing! I loved them! Incredibly-written, incredibly-acted.

But what about what happened between them?

One thing I’ve enjoyed about the recent period is that it feels like a lot more streamers are keeping track of their characters and holding onto longer plot threads. It feels like more people are interacting with each other instead of doing builds by themselves. And even the main plot is progressing at this more subtle, bit-by-bit pace where there’s a bit of new development with each stream. The big event days still happen, like the New Festival and the Execution, but the pacing’s a lot more consistently spread out. And with all these other streamers keeping their own mini stories as well, it’s more of this melting pot of different people interacting, each with their own arc and tale to tell.

Ponk and Jack, for example, are keeping their ongoing rivalry. Sam, Bad and Ant are getting into their own storyline whereas before, the Badlands weren’t really doing much of anything. And Karl’s been doing the same fun side-things that he’s always done for months, but he’s recently started to try and find a niche for himself by trying these light-hearted events or his new Tales series, which could end up being really cool the more he refines it!

I feel like a lot of the “chaos” feeling isn’t really from how the SMP’s main storyline has been written; most of the main plot has still kept to L’manburg and Techno.

It’s just that more people are taking notice of all the side hijinks that are going on in the background all the time, and some of the people who weren’t involved in the main plot before have started creating their own storylines for fun.

I will say it again and again: you don’t have to follow along with every storyline! If it overwhelms you to try and keep up with the Blood Vines? That’s okay! You as a viewer have the freedom to create the viewing experience that makes you the most comfortable, that brings you the most joy!

But I also think people could try and branch out a bit too. Give some new creators a try. No pressure or anything, and it’s fine if you just want to stick to Tommy or Techno! But there are a lot of talented people on the SMP, and I feel like some of these smaller stories are worth paying attention to if you’re interested!

Aaaaanyway, this is just a long, long post with some nonsense thoughts that I felt like getting out. Feel free to disagree! The SMP’s an interesting piece of media that everyone’s going to experience slightly differently. What may be my cup of tea might not be yours, and vice versa! :]

#dream smp #long posts #meta #dream smp analysis

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leamy-world · 3 years

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Some afterthoughts on The Devil Judge (spoilers for all the drama!)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well!!

I wanted to write my thoughts after the finale aired because ep. 13-14 made me a mess and were too nerve-wracking! After these two episodes, i only wanted the week to go by fast to see how the finale unfolded (but at the same time, this drama entertained me sm i didn’t want it to end haha).

Watching this drama each week and reading your reactions and thoughts made me enjoy it even more, i’m glad i came back on tumblr! It was a really nice ride (more like an emotional rollercoaster haha)! It motivated me to write my thoughts and analyses on fictions i watched in the future, especially My Mister and Beyond Evil!! I forgot how much fun it was to do that and putting my thoughts into words gave me a little closure to my watch haha

These are just some afterthoughts & personal interpretations i had and were maybe probably already discussed, but i couldn’t get them out of my head haha

See you around and take care!!!

THE CAST. It left a strong impression on me and i can’t see other actors playing their respective roles!

— Yohan portrayed by Ji Sung … i have no words, this devil judge left me speechless! His character, to his Devilish Smile (and hollow laugh in front of CKH and his son, or Gaon), his variating voice intonations (like damn, he’s a living ASMR like Lee Sung Kyung), his held back emotions and touch-starved and even desperate touches when it came to Elijah and Gaon, to his rage and unhinged moments!

I winced seeing him contort in pain when Sunah revealed Elijah accidentally lit the church fire, and the two times he hugged Elijah totally destroyed me. His last scene with Gaon showed how gazes & micro-expressions alone could convey unspoken words as strongly. I’m weak for these kinds of scenes, My Mister for example did it and killed me haha

For this post, i rewatched some scenes and damn, Elijah and Yohan’s support of Gaon after Soohyun’s death was really emotional …

(They had no business in making Gaon have this kind of dream, those german scissors left a ... strong impression on him haha)

— Kim Min Jung’s depiction of Sunah’s was hauntingly beautiful, a femme fatale who kept a broken child deep inside (and at the same time surfacing on her manners and personality) and a strong businesswoman. It’s a fascinating character i loved hating as a villain but still sympathized with. The scene where she murdered the former foundation’s president sent me chills down my spine (i still have her shot of her, sitting at his bureau and manipulating his speech video)!

The melancholy slipping through her facade when she visited the mansion the first time in a while, as well as her devastation in front of the President’s scheme, by the young girl’s bed at the hospital were memorable. The tension between her and Yohan was incredible: they both managed to keep a very disturbing but enthralling aura, tangled with nostalgia at the same time each time they met.

(Looking at her reflection is a recurring pattern for Sunah’s character, i found this shot above interesting, divided in the two ends of the mirror, as if her self can’t be found on the other side anymore)

— This was the first time i saw a drama with Jin Young and i really loved his playing! Never thought I’d say one day i enjoyed someone’s tears and rage on screen, but his crying scenes stuck with me, especially in the prison yard and the last episode (he deserves therapy after all he went through, really) … And his letter to Elijah … (i’m glad nobody harshly revealed the truth to her, i’m really glad!)

I loved to see how his gaze evolved through this journey with Yohan. His endearment to Soohyun, Elijah and Yohan was very precious ;; Even though Yohan was the one who was first seen feeling lonely, Gaon’s loneliness since his parents’ death slipped through his seemingly fine world, i found that interesting! (And on a lighter note, i’ll always remember the truth behind Mrs. Ji’s cooking, Gaon’s epic reaction, and the pure comedy she gets to own a healthy food shop thanks to Yohan!!)

I also enjoyed his supportive friendship with Jinjoo!!

— Park Gyu Young’s acting was also on point! It’s really too bad she didn’t get more screen time because i wanted to know more about Soohyun!! I felt robbed haha, because when TDJ began airing, they introduced her as one of the ‘main’ characters of this story ;; The scene when she was on CKH’s suicide scene really left a mark on me + when she was confronting Yohan, especially after she took Elijah out!

— Elijah. Just Elijah, our best girl!!! Apparently it’s one of Jeon Chae Eun’s first roles, she did so well!! Along with Ji Sung and Jin Young, she gave a whole new definition to the Domestic Scenes, i swear. These scenes will keep a special place in my heart for a long time! Her adorable smile and cheekiness were a refresher in this show!

(They could change TDJ’s concept in a second season and make us a domestic slice of life series, i wouldn’t mind AT ALL! Take my money!!)

Seeing her complicated relationship with her uncle unfold before us deeply moved me. The complete loneliness she silently depicted moving to her bed in the wheelchair, after Gaon left the mansion was heart-wrenching. And also the scenes after Soohyun’s death, hurting with Yohan seeing Gaon’s pain (the way she spoke her worry for the two of them, Yohan couldn’t let the words out properly to Gaon).

— CKH’s character, played by Jang Young Nam, was amazing. Her acting already shattered me when i watched Nobody Knows! Her cold gaze, her harsh tone, she was badass i have to admit!

The narcissistic rage was well depicted in her character, and even though i get where many’s opinions on her death come from (i share it too sometimes, but i feel it more for Sunah), i found this final decision fitting to the character, especially if you look how she treated her own son (each hold felt like a grip from rage eg. in ep. 3, as she maybe felt her son was the cause of her demise).

(HUGE SPOILERS FOR BEYOND EVIL BELOW!!!!)

She reminded me of HKH’s ending: seeing his path to success was crushed with no way out of it except death on his own accord (in his eyes, because it was his absolute life aim, every single being, to his own wife and son, and means, even bending the justice independence, were his expendable ways to pave his path), HJW’s father was set on suicide before his son barged in.

(Funnily enough, the filming spot for CKH’s house is the same for HKH’s house haha)

— And also … Lawyer don’t-worry-i’ll-get-you-out-on-probation Ko deserves a round of applause for the best lawyer he is hahaha

THE STORY’S DEVELOPMENTS (AND SCRIPT). I feel like this story could very well have been developed on 20+ episodes! Even if i know some scenes in a script are sometimes (bound to be) cut in the drama, TDJ’s script leaks make me feel there was SO much more to be told, and so much more to explain some plot events in the airing drama!

Because the story was ambitious, both character and plot(twists which give you whiplash)-driven (and also the filming context with the pandemic), i feel like some choices were made.

The lines of thought about justice and the drama’s attempts at its ‘true’ definition are not lost on me. It was really interesting!

On a side note (there will be many, bear with me haha), the symbolic behind the app’s name, DIKE, which i’m pretty sure (correct me if i’m wrong, i only have some very rough basics in korean haha) is the korean romanization of Nikè, or in ancient greek Νίκη, the greek divinity of Victory ( ‘ㄴ’ in korean sounds like an ’n’ but its pronounciation is more abrupt/brisker, to the point of what could be sounding to ears like a ‘d’).

Nikè is most of the time represented as an attribute to other greek divinities who also embody the victory eg. Zeus or Athena, thus seen as a bestower of victory (in any domain, be it war, games = interestingly enough, the live court is set in a colosseum-like room, arts, …) to the humanity on behalf of these gods (Nikè sometimes stands in her palm as an attribute of Athena, like the owl or the helmet). But sometimes Nikè was also revered an independent protective divinity.

Nikè is represented as a winged divinity in a long robe, flying above the victorious, assisting the humans in their works/challenges eg. handing them a laurel crown as a sign of victory, or a helmet, etc. Its mostly known representation is the Winged Victory of Samothrace (or The Nike of Samothrace) sculpture in the Louvre. The brand Nike also used it in its logo.

It calls back to Yohan’s line: « I make sure i win before the game starts », and in fact, since the beginning, unbeknownst to everybody witnessing the trials and participating to them, the app was his way to win. It foreshadows the ending of the story, Yohan finally taking down the foundation. It also adds to his god/devil image: he assumes the role of the intermediary/abyss of the « gods » (the Justice), taking in all the hubris of the society in order to bring the justice (well, guess we could say it put some hold to the cycle of the powerful culminating to chaos?) back, in some sort of catharsis through DIKE.

It might be a stretch, but Nikè’s winged representation could be found on Gaon’s tattoo (at first to me, it looked like a phoenix/winged angel, which symbolizes a ‘reincarnation’/new beginning for Yohan finding peace, a second chance to his past and Elijah thanks to Gaon & Gaon finding a new world even if his first crumbled ie. his parents and Soohyun’s death and professor Min’s betrayal).

(The whole virus plot by the end of the story made me feel a little uncomfortable given the actual context and the conspiracy theories that are spreading, but it wasn’t used carelessly and served the commentary of the powerful and how far they would go, i think? That said, a fiction, especially a dystopia like this, stays a fiction but when they used it, it gave me a forced laugh haha)

Now, if someone gets to translate some script bits, i’m really looking forward to:

K’s backstory!!!!!

Isaac and Yohan’s past!!!!

More about Elijah!!

Where’s the cat???

What was the script saying for Gaon and Yohan’s confrontation in ep. 12? When Yohan faced the window, waking up from a nightmare after Gaon left?

ABOUT SOOHYUN’S BACKSTORY. (Now, this will get long, i’m sorry but i needed to let my thoughts out haha) The drama introduced her as one of the four main characters with Gaon, Yohan and Sunah. I had so many expectations for her character! Especially from the three scenes we got of her:

➔ In the first episode, we see her save a young girl in the street from two men, looking up at the poster « A safe Korea will be realized from now on. »: it was a great introduction to the blatant lie of the ‘safe’ dystopian world that was being created in the story. It also showed how Soohyun felt in front of this insecure world. A side note, but seeing her hug the young girl like that reminded me the hugs she gave Gaon: she wanted to protect him from this unjust world with all her might (especially the scene in the restaurant where she hugs him). ➔ Her two confrontations with Juk Chang! ➔ Her dilemma and emotional turmoil when she erases Gaon’s presence in CKH’s office.

She was portrayed in the story as Gaon’s pillar since his parents’ tragic death and his moral compass. She’s the lawful citizen, despite feeling helpless to the world’s changes, who hopes it could be saved as long as the rule of law is preserved by everyone, and this begins by respecting it themselves.

But she was not standing around and i kind of regret this was not shown more in the story: she kept doing her best in the « system », fighting from the inside the injustice hoping the little changes could make a difference someday. Because she couldn’t take Yohan’s path, in no way: the system/the law must be respected for it to be sustained. And i’m glad they addressed this point in the drama: Yohan chose to take on the role nobody wanted or even dared to assume, knowing fully well he became a criminal the second he began his plans (just as lawyer Ko said he was no longer a lawyer once he sided with him).

This must not be glorified, nor vilified. As he said, it was a choice he decided to make. She mirrors his choices to some extent and i would have loved to see more of their interactions or her thoughts about that! And how she worked through the system to change things, her vision of the justice. They showed us the flashback of her career choice in high school, and it could have been interesting to learn more about her!

A backstory about her saving the youth and meeting Sunah by accident would have been very interesting (given Sunah knew all about her since the beginning and ordered to kill her). Their meeting wouldn’t have foreshadowed Sunah’s plans, quite the opposite, and it would have given more ‘substance’ to her plans. We were robbed of this relationship haha!

And of course, seeing her side with Yohan & Gaon for a short while (because seeing her team up with them all along the way could’ve been a little ooc) would have been dope. Her arresting Juk Chang while the two of them stop the gang was the closest thing we had to their teamwork ;;

Among the drama’s main focuses (the self-pity of the powerful and the never-ending cycle of their greed, the power displays it ensues which come in many forms in the system’s game), the conception of justice was developed all along the drama. It would have been really interesting to see whether Soohyun’s conception of justice could have changed in her own way!

And professor Min’s potential manipulation of Soohyun!!! Some scenes on their interactions could have been nice to see and explain why she focused solely on Yohan, the only side of the whole story she knew! Her reporting to the professor about her investigation (and him feeling she got too close to the truth) would have made sense because, as she saw Gaon growing apart from her as he was getting closer to the Kangs (especially since she saw him interact with Elijah when they invited her to the café, like Sunah saw how Gaon fit in their family at the dinner scene), she would’ve wanted to protect him without him knowing because she knew it’d have hurt him. It could have paralleled Gaon’s reports on Yohan to the professor at the beginning of the drama. And that could have explained (aside from the whole love triangle dynamics they had) her reluctance to tell Gaon Yohan was the one who told her his whereabouts when he was in danger in ep. 13 ; this scene also was one of the only moments addressing the lack of communication in their relationship. Seeing her feeling confused over Yohan could have been interesting!

(This also got me wondering whether in the script, Yohan’s injury was ever addressed.)

Also, i’m curious about her family, if the script mentions something about them: did they know Gaon?

About the loveline between Gaon and Soohyun: while the friendship could have stayed as is (it already felt pretty genuine in my opinion and strong friendships also deserve to be portrayed in stories), i’m convinced this drama wanted to set Gaon as the center of a subtext love & morality triangle between Soohyun and Yohan (and K and Sunah on Yohan’s part). I think i would’ve appreciated Gaon and Soohyun’s loveline so much more if they developed it more! And it had to develop in the very same episode she died: apart from the confession and kiss scene (i’m curious about the scene’s description in the script), the flashback of their moments, seen from Gaon’s pov, came just right in to ‘explain’ it!

Of course it wasn’t the main focus of the story and there was already so much happening, but their new relationship development and her death almost had no impact on me even if it was set as a turning point for Gaon (and K for Yohan, as a cement to their respective decision to fight the system and how they would do it), and it made me really really sad! Of course it was a plot device (and i now wonder what would’ve happened if she or K wasn’t dead), but if it was bound to happen, the emotional impact was lessened!

Jinjoo’s character development and her relationship with Sunah happened really really fast, and i wonder how the script describes it!

Sunah’s involvement with the juvenile care center!!! Her scene at the hospital left me really sad.

(Also, on the love plot, Gaon and Yohan jealousy bits weren’t used later as an expression of their envy towards the other’s status/life/etc. and were actually directed to people outside ie. Sunah/K/Soohyun in the plot, which makes me think they really wanted to set it as a love triangle!)

ABOUT SUNAH’S DEATH. I feel really really conflicted on this point. Her story was a parallel to CKH (and of course Yohan, i’ll talk about it below): two women — coming from totally opposite backgrounds — climbing their way up by their own means in this power circle. And despite all their accomplishments unnoticed (because they were the ones seeing through their plans while the others were mainly seen tearing each other into pieces), they could still be ruthlessly ejected from this world any day, part of it because they were belittled as women all the same, and chose to end her life on her own accord, still having agency over it.

As someone else pointed it out, it also acts as a « poetic » retribution for her murder of Soohyun and K. BUT her exiting the scene in some other way staying alive could have contrasted with CKH’s suicide (especially since she overthrew the president who was the only one on her side getting in her way and even killed him in the end). Especially in a show that deals about how the justice can be carried out!

Of course, Yohan and Sunah were a foil to each other in their respective fights and traumatic past: the drama showed us how having someone to reach out to and protect (Elijah, Isaac and Gaon to Yohan ; Soohyun, Yohan and Elijah to Gaon) can become a driving force. Sunah, despite thinking this could be a weakness, also longed for companionship (from Yohan mainly, but also from Jaehee), and had no one to stop her crossing the line and preserve her from herself and the world. At least someone hearing her story, staying by her side and trying to understand her.

Each time she said ‘can you be a little nicer to me?’ to Yohan made me feel for her (and also that one call with Jaehee), it was the only cries of loneliness she silently let out!

On a totally random note, i would have loved to see her interact more with Gaon (especially by the end of ep. 15, when Yohan was arrested)!

The story gladly didn’t end Yohan’s traumatic past and growth in death, but what about Sunah? In any case, Sunah was a really good and complex character, i enjoyed her character!

What about Jaehee? How did she react to Sunah’s death???

What about CKH’s family after her death???

I would have loved to hear more about Sunah’s plans as well! Scenes where she would play with Gaon for example (in Yohan’s presence or not, like at the photoshoot)!

(This comment above foreshadowed, along with the dinner scene in ep. 11, she used him all along!)

Her involvement behind the scenes was only exposed in ep. 15 but i wanted to know more about her (motivations aside from her focus on Yohan, what did she plan to do before finding out a look-alike to Isaac, ...)! Given the elements in the plot, i get the idea she planned this whole business with the foundation first to reach the top and wanted to bring Yohan up with her (eg. leading the foundation or becoming the president) or down without her along the way, because she wanted his companionship. Maybe the script expands on it more? Did she really believe in the Dream Home project? Because as we saw her speech in the juvenile care center and her strong reaction to the youth being harmed in these schemes, i believe she kinda wanted to protect them as the best revenge on her past, because nobody could do it for her?

THE ENDING SCENE. The ending was pretty good and didn’t give us an all-out tragedy, so i’m really glad! I still can’t believe Gaon was ready to blow his life away once he learnt Yohan’s death AND wanted to die with him (falsely) realizing Yohan wouldn’t change his mind, dead set on his decision (no pun intended!). And Yohan’s reaction to this ............... Now, their last scene is left to the viewers’ interpretation, but it felt to me like a new beginning to Yohan and Gaon’s relationship! As it was already said by many people on tumblr, Yohan wasn’t sure if Gaon would still be by his side despite it all, and he didn’t expect Gaon to feel this way. They’ll definitely meet again, it’s a promise of more in the future (especially Yohan’s nod, on the verge of tears and Gaon’s two relieved/endeared smiles, full of forgiveness). Gaon will join his new world once he’s done or they’ll come back to him once Elijah’s recovered.

And this game of hide and seek/hunt reflected their relationship development: Yohan felt unattainable at first, but he chased after him in the maze that was his devilish game, symbolized by the crowd, chasing him motivated by his suspicion, curiosity, anger and hate, disbelief and disappointment, empathy, worry, affection, desperation and love, until he finally reached him and they understood each other among all the crowd, living metaphorically in the same time, facing each other on the same (ground) level.

(A scene in the first episode, Gaon seeing a maze of Yohan’s reflections, maybe symbolizing he could not see through his facade in the beginning, being an enigma to him at first sight ; the choice of the reflections in the mirrors through the drama is interesting and reflects the story: depending on the angles, a story can hold as many meanings as there are points of view, the complete image surfacing once everybody’s story is told)

(Just like how, in ep. 4, Yohan shows Gaon the wicked system right under their noses, Gaon’s enraged and confused gaze directed right at Yohan after they all block his view by clinking glasses ; Yohan hoped he would understand what lies beneath but Gaon understands it fully through his own past in ep. 7-8)

(The crowd is cleared from their/our view in the final scene, leaving the two of them facing each other without any obstacle/reflection on their path)

Gaon kept Yohan’s watch all the time even in moments of doubt, sorrow and rage (the best PPL in drama history so far haha), Yohan finally got to Gaon and entered his world as Soohyun did, reaching out when he needed it the most, to stop him doing something he would regret deeply. It was symbolized by the scar he got on his left hand from preventing Gaon from stabbing him (that’s also why he caresses his scar in a bittersweet way, lost in thoughts, reminding him of their last meeting).

As @i-guess-it-rains said + according to the BTS’ editing (it passed off as a joke but i can’t erase it from my brain now haha), the way the scene where Yohan defused Gaon’s bomb was framed looked at the same time like Yohan was also carefully handling Gaon’s heart (the bomb countdown clock radiating a red glow on his chest), on the verge of exploding. Now i have The Nights lyrics in my head haha (« My heart is going back to you, i just don’t know »)

On another note, i realized that in ep. 12, after Gaon left, he’s seen trying to call Soohyun in order to reach for her since their last confrontation, but right before, his finger glides over his contact, hesitating on Yohan’s contact before choosing to call Soohyun.

While in ep. 8, he only reaches out to Soohyun after his breakdown in the prison yard (without thinking to call Yohan because he was in the core of his doubts and pain at that time and needed space to reflect on all the events):

And it parallels to Sunah attempting to reach out to Jaehee in her loneliness at the top, hesitating before deciding to call her.

Now i hope TDJ will be on Netflix! It’d be very nice to get to watch the drama in high quality and have more people to see it!

I heard it got a webtoon adaptation so i also look forward to it once it will be translated!

A SECOND SEASON? When i first saw the ending, i thought it got wrapped up nicely and didn’t « need » another season, but it also left some parts open and laid out a new background for further developments (the system repeats itself but in another form, Yohan leaves the scene with his signature smile, maybe up to something else again, saying metaphorically or irl to Gaon he’ll come back if he doesn’t do well), kinda like Stranger/Forest of Secrets s1 or The Guest ending (the corruption doesn’t end there). I also heard it got high viewing rates in SK, so maybe it will be taken into account? And well, i’ll miss the cast so i would welcome the idea haha

THE SOUNDTRACK. The whole OST was stellar (and their titles are on point really!)! Getting to hear it without voices or noise over and with my headphones on made me realize it was even more beautiful! Because I Have You, Warmth That Melts Loneliness and If Only… are the end of me (especially If Only aaaaaaa)! Don’t get me started on Enemy of Truth’s title to the OST playing for the church fire because it’s devastating ;;;

If Only’s title … It leaves us filling in the blank space, the dots to Gaon’s thoughts when he learns about Yohan’s past and how it impacts him to this day.

The 4 songs were amazing (there’s also Different from the Outside but i still didn’t get its lyrics). Tempest was definitely etched in my mind as TDJ’s main theme haha And The Nights was my favorite!

➔ Tempest was Yohan’s iconic theme and depicted his lonely path to revenge after the tragic events in his life, and his (fated) encounter with Gaon, how deeply it will change him in this journey in ways he didn’t expect. It perfectly introduces (with Chet Faker and Flume’s Drop the game) and concludes the drama!

➔ What you gonna do was THE revenge epic song making everyone revel in the ‘bad guys’ despair and Yohan’s badass moves!

➔ The Nights felt like it was both Yohan and Gaon’s theme and Gaon’s sorrow after Soohyun’s death: at first i thought it was only Yohan’s, but his revenge and the last episodes proved me wrong! The song’s lyrics mirrored themselves (‘my/your night shines on you/me’), as if a complete understanding between Yohan and Gaon was found on their dark road. Yohan’s night shines on Gaon: Yohan’s broken past and all his misunderstood or hidden sides, his dedication to Elijah. Yohan’s rage (almost wrath since the biblical and god symbolism are there haha) and desire to take the inique system down waked Gaon’s own rage, buried deep inside, and made him move forward too. Gaon’s night shines on Yohan: all the time he spent with the Kangs, Gaon’s deep empathy and understanding, helping him reconnect with his niece, their dinners at night, his rage exploding when the truth about his parents was revealed, his desperation on the last two episodes (in ep. 15, seeing Gaon’s realization everything was a lie and Yohan was innocent, and in ep. 16, Gaon wanting to die by his side). Gaon’s night also shined on Soohyun, who wanted to protect him with all she got each time she saw him crumbling down.

There was still light on their dark road (which looks like a callback to Nightmare’s lyrics, « Save me from myself / Save me from this darkness that has lost its light »).

➔ Nightmare felt like it was Yohan and Sunah’s theme. When it last played when Sunah’s death happened on screen, it left me speechless (and if i remember correctly, the ‘save me from myself’ bit was played right when she shot herself … o u c h)!

#the devil judge #tvn drama #my ramblings

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mtraki · 3 years

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Brain chemistry is messing with me... got me in the bad feels looking at dark roads... So let’s try and drag ourselves out of it through hyperfixation! It’s time to rant about Agent 47′s brain chemistry-- specifically all the serums and antidotes that artificially change it! (It’s a rant... I won’t take up space on your dashboard scroll if you don’t want to see it, but if you do, please check out under the cut. Spoilers for the comics and Hitman Season 2-3 are unmarked...)

The focus of the rant is thus: “Exactly what did Ether’s antidote do?” ‘That’s easy, MT,’ I hear you tell me, ‘It brought back 47′s memories that were wiped by Ort-Meyer before he escaped the lab.’ Forgive me, strawman Reader, (but as always, thank you for your faithful engagement) but I don’t think it’s that simple... Maybe because I overthink things, or maybe because the details aren’t adding up... Let’s discuss. In the cutscene in HITMAN 2 (Hitman Season 2) ‘Long Shot’, Olivia and Lucas provide a syringe from Ether Biotech Corporation. According to their information, Ort-Meyer’s estate and his research were granted to the corporation (through Providence) after his passing. The syringe is supposed to be an antidote to what Ort-Meyer used to wipe 47′s memory. Using the syringe, 47 is able to remember Janus, the first Constant of Providence, so they can go get his info on the Partners... and kill him. ‘Yes, MT,’ you say, ‘so it’s easy. The answer is right there.’ Well, please bear with me... In the next cutscene ‘Gifts and Curses’, our leading ladies Diana and Olivia are doing the real work (tracking Janus’s coffin) while our lads are being moody. Lucas asks 47 if he’s all right and 47 says, “It comes back in flashes. Fear. Anger. But like it happened to someone else.” Later, in ‘Precautions’, Lucas and Diana talk about how Lucas has feelings about the things he’s done, and 47 does not-- a parallel is drawn between these feelings and “having a conscience”. In ‘The Ark Society’ mission, on the Isle of Sgàil, as you’re marching Arthur Edwards, the Constant you are abducting, to the harbor, he’ll fish around for information by giving some of his own. For the purposes of my rant, there is an exchange I want to focus on: Edwards: “...Your murdered him [Janus] to get to me.” 47: “Not just that. He had it coming.” Edwards: “Interesting. It was my impression that you were cured of such... sentiment. The ‘good doctor’ built his serum specifically to target the seats of your emotions. Has Miss Burnwood’s sense of justice rubbed off on you, I wonder?” This is where I feel the need to stop and point out that there are TWO DIFFERENT SERUMS at play here, that were forced on 47 at TWO DIFFERENT TIMES in his forgotten past. This is shown in the comic series. SERUM #1) This serum was given in 1989, after 47 and 6 failed to take over the Institute. 47 sacrificed himself so 6 could escape (though he was presumed dead) and instead of being killed like he expected, due to pressure from Janus (who spoke as Constant for the Partners of Providence) Ort-Meyer instead used a serum to stifle his and the remaining clones’ emotions. This one was an injection to the neck (like the antidote). Here are his exact words: “I gave you something most people lack: a true purpose. And you cast it aside. For some misguided dream of freedom. Why?” “It’s that storm inside you. All those feelings I fought so hard to lock away. Raging, driving you. So now I must wipe them out entirely. A small chemical insult designed to target the amygdala, the hypothalamus, the cingulate gyrus. The seats of emotion. I’ve just sawed the legs off them. Do you understand, 47?” “Your memories remain intact. But now they’re a series of events with no significance.” The effects of this serum were devastating. With the singular exception of 47, every other clone more or less lost the will to live. They died of starvation, dehydration, infected bed sores... losing any and all motivation for anything. Meanwhile, 47 became an apex predator of murder, stating that the opportunity to complete the assassinations handed down by Providence through Ort-Meyer were the reason he went through each day. He had a hand in the deaths of a good number of clones, either via poisoning or smothering. SERUM #2) This serum was given in 1998 (that’s nine years after the first one) after Providence demands Ort-Meyer give them 47 as the only success of his very expensive perceived failure. Ort-Meyer gives this serum, without the permission of Providence, very specifically so that 47 will not remember him to assassinate him. This serum is given orally, and through a hose and pump apparatus. Here are his exact words: “I only need one more day, and a moment alone.” (This is included strictly to point out that 47 must have escaped that exact same day) “I raised you as my own. Taught you everything you needed to thrive in this fallen world. And now I have to take it all away. You would come after me. It’s the only way I can be free from having to watch over my shoulder for the rest of my life. It feels like drowning at first. Don’t struggle. I’m going to make you perfect. Now you have all the potential in the world.” 47 wakes up later to the voice of Ort-Meyer over the intercom. He implicitly trusts the voice, as he knows nothing else. He knows about the existence of nothing outside of the room and the voice. He starts making associations as he goes on, and points out that he understands how some things work (”The mechanics of breathing, the science that makes remotely operated restraints possible.”) and the justifications behind their existence (”Somewhere deep down, I even understand the need for them.”). As he makes his escape, he observes that their is familiarity in the sensations of killing. Out in the world, he continues killing on his own for about a year, claiming that his work is his only indulgence and that he doesn’t need things, friends, or stories. He does also claim to have a few stray memories that haunt him-- elicit emotional responses in him (which we also see in Absolution with the whole “doctors” flashbacks). Edwards should not know about the mind-wiping, and his dialogue does not betray that he does. Lucas apparently knows about both, but I’m going to attribute this to “Lucas became personally invested in learning what happened to 47 specifically after learning he was alive and working for ICA, so put the pieces together once he stole the data from Providence” because he wasn’t around for either serum. Meanwhile, Edwards doesn’t have many reasons to worry about 47 until he starts trying to use his past as a lure for Diana. Because his angle is to eventually reveal that it was 47 (AND 6... they were on the job together, per the comics) who killed her parents, and the fact that that juicy reveal would hurt that much more if he could reveal it as something 47 knowingly hid from her... I don’t think he’d go out of his way to discredit Janus’s reporting on the situation that only the first serum was given, and something else happened that allowed 47 to escape into the wild. Janus is apparently Edwards’s beloved mentor, after all. ‘MT,’ I hear you say, ‘You’re rambling. What’s the point here?’ The point is that 47, a man who does not mince words, makes the observation, when asked, that he remembers fear and anger. These are the things that stand out to him in his memories. The emotions. This is in violation of the first serum’s properties as well as the second. Now, why is this happening? Perhaps the first serum has an effective lifespan, and perhaps it’s wearing off. Perhaps 47′s human (arguably superhuman, per some sources) brain is adapting to make necessary associations despite the “chemical insult”. Or... was this antidote supposed to also be an antidote for the first serum? It is noteworthy that 47 starts behaving in ways that suggest more emotionally-driven motivations after the antidote is given-- at least it seems that way to me. This seems especially the case at the very end of HITMAN 3 (Season 3), ‘Untouchable’, when 47 is confronted with his guilt, with his feelings about what he perceives Diana’s thoughts and feelings to be, and with his choice in the end concerning Edwards in the final confrontation. No matter what he chooses, he owns his choice and all the baggage and consequences that come with it. At the very end, in the cutscene 'New Deal', he tells Diana that he isn’t ‘Agent 47′ anymore. That he chooses this path because he can. Perhaps I’m very much misunderstanding the themes, here, but 47 not remembering his past never struck me as something that held him back from choosing something else. It has always been his inability to connect with others in any way outside of infiltrating their spaces and killing them... with very, very few exceptions... that has kept him from choosing a path outside of murder-for-hire (perfectly executed, of course ;) ) So I’m left at the end with the conclusion that 47 is now able to operate as his own conscience because he now has a... mostly usable independent sense of morality-- which requires a certain level of empathy. So... again: what’s the deal with the antidote? Is it two-in-one? This would be fine, (Okay, not really, I would then have to rant about how this only makes sense as a convenient plot device because for which person BESIDES Agent 47 would such an antidote be useful unless they also work with the first serum... and oh boy IMPLICATIONS... I know we keep crashing their stock but can we crash their production too?) except the antidote is only referenced as working to return 47′s memory... and his ‘warmer’ dialogues through the end of 2 and into 3 with his allies is simply treated as matter of course-- nobody points it out. I don’t know if this is a problem with my perspective, the writing, or what... But it seems like Lucas knows and doesn’t know about both serums at the same time (he comments specifically about 47 remembering things... but not him behaving more emotionally engaged)... Or like the games smooshed both serums together while the comics had them separate. This isn’t like the whole “we don’t talk about Absolution though we do wink and nod that it mostly happened in canon” thing. The comics were written as a companion for the HITMAN: World of Assassination trilogy! I know how I’m treating it for 'Monstrous’ (because if I don’t, I’ll go crazy and rage-quit the fic) but it still bothers me... Anybody got any ideas? Nuggets of lore I missed? Am I the only one stressing out about this??

#my mic #agent 47 #hitman #lucas grey #world of assassination #MT is ranting #I know I overthink #13th #April #2021 #April 13th 2021

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loveyourownsmiilee · 3 years

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People are so rude ??? You aren’t delusional at all and I have the same opinion as you. The writers literally did an uno reverse card for no damn reason. Taylor is a good character on her own and so is Buck on his own. Sure they’re both hot and charismatic but that’s literally it??? This feels like emotional whiplash lmao because they hooked up and then she later friend zones him and now she acts like he’s the one??? Or she wants to date him at least?? When she JUST friend zoned him and walked away after that? I’m so tired lmao. Why do the writers feel the need to pair Buck up when they know damn well he should not be in a relationship right now. I want him to end up with Eddie but I’m smart enough to know that it would be rushing even if they paired him with Eddie rn. Buck needs time to be single and process his feelings I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve a relationship I’m just saying the dude just saw his bestie get shot in front of him and then he’s kissing Taylor. He needs a minute before he jumps into anything, hookups or relationships. I’m not his parent and I’m not his therapist obviously but I feel like anyone who has been watching the same Buck that I have would agree. It’s not even about Buck and Eddie and the disappointment hopefully I don’t just feel about that. It’s the fact that Taylor and Buck was awkward and not right given everything else in the episode. And I have no problems with Taylor she’s a nicely fleshed out side character but why do the writers feel like she can only develop if she’s with Buck when she’s perfectly fine on her own. She has never shown interest in wanting anything more with him at least to my knowledge?? But now she’s all 🥰🥰🥰 hi Buck. Obviously feelings can change but??? In one or two episodes?? Mmmm yeah that’s just bad writing. Or maybe I’m a clown and I’ll eat my words because this is the point- maybe the writers wrote this awkward kiss in the episode and whatever else that was between them lmao to show that this is rushed and they don’t even need to be together. I’m hoping that’s what it is because all of THAT was... not it lmao. I hope the writers are smarter than we’re giving them credit because I just... don’t understand lmao. They steal numerous plot lines for s4 from fics that FANS have made and then slap the crap out of us with Taylor kissing Buck. I swear this better be the slowest slow burn for Buck and Eddie known to tv history because of this is just them half assing and shoving another hetero ship in our face because this is a Fox show I’m gonna chew glass

Well thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, for this long sweet message. It truly made me smile❤️ I know we (Buddies) aren't delusional. How can we be when they have spent 3 whole seasons developing this relationship and making it known that they are seen as a whole ass family unit?? I'm gonna add more bc its too long.

Like don't get me wrong, I loved what they did with Taylor this season and I was so here for them being friends you know? Buck needs more friends outside of the 118 and I was hoping that they can just be that for each other. But nope, they did pull an uno reverse card on us didn't they nonnie? And I hate that with everything in me. I really was going back and forth on whether or not they would have them get together in this episode of all episodes and I am actually pissed at the fact that they did. Yes, Buck just witnessed his partner/best friend/closest confidant get shot in front of him. He had his blood spluttered all over his face and then spent days depressed over it. Then what, she's there and its convenient and they're freaking making out? And hes forgotten that his best friend hasn't even woken up yet? Wtf is this?? I was just so confused honestly because truly wtf?? The storyline made no sense to me. I truly believe that they want Buck in a relationship, one that is "successful" so he has some experience on how to be in one. He hasn't had one thus far so he needs this experience so that when the time comes, he is ready for Eddie I guess? I truly don't fucking know wtf is going on with that whole thing. I do believe that Buck and Eddie both need to recover from their shared traumatic experience and I don't think it's the best idea to have him jump into a relationship when he still has that recovery in front of him. Who knows tho, maybe the writers are gonna skip over their recovery and make it seem like everyone is living happily. It truly was awkward and sorta rushed too because they've been in like 4 episodes together and had this whole back and forth situation. They literally could have used any of those moments to have them get together but no they chose this episode where Buck is truly in this weird limbo where he's trying to move on but doesn't know what's going to happen to his best friend. I truly wished they kept her strong independent and a single friend to Buck. Like from what we've seen from her, it makes no sense to have her all of a sudden do a complete 180 and wanna be with Buck. Like ma'am I cant imagine you being in an actual relationship with a man whom you don't pay attention too and think of his little quirks as weird/annoying or whatever she did. But I am gonna hold onto the fact that both Buck/Taylor & Eddie/A*a were all rushed with no legitimate development and that makes me believe none of them are truly endgame. Compare them to Buck & Eddie's years worth of development? Yeah not a comparison at all. I still believe we're gonna get some kind of confession or them getting canon in s5 and I will hold onto that bc i too refuse to have them shove this hetero bland relationships down our throats. Sorry this was so long but I too had a lot of thoughts!! Feel free to chat if you ever have other things you want to rant about.

#juju answers #anon asks #911 spoilers #anti bucktaylor

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hookedonapirate · 3 years

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Book Update

If you've noticed I've been updating my cs fics a lot lately, it's because I had to take a break from my original fic. And I've kind of been discouraged lately because when I worked on my first book, Follow My Lead, I got stuck for a whole year where I was unable to write one word for it. And I was afraid the same thing would happen for this one I'm work on. Last time, I wasn't able to push forward with the story until I scrapped the outline. So I didn't use an outline this time.

Then I got to thinking yesturday, maybe that's why I was stuck. Because each story will be different and will not always require the same process, for me at least. Some people can't write with outlines and some can't write without them. When I'm writing Cs, I normally don't need an outline because it comes so much easier to me because I'm already connected with the characters so the stories pretty much write themselves. But that's what I struggle with when writing original fics. So, for those of you who write or plan to write fics, either original or fanfic or anything with characters, it's very important to CONNECT with your characters first. It is essential and will save you a lot of time and energy and headaches, and will be much less stressful and mentally draining.

Anywho, what I'm trying to say is I started outlining for this and was able to get through the obstacles I had before. So to celebrate having a successful writing day for this book, I'd like to share a sneak peek.

In this sneak peek, I mention the rule of three and it's inspired by a conversation I had with people at work. Before someone pointed this out, I never realized how much we actually utilize the rule of three. Then I did some research and it turned out to be perfect for the chapter I'm writing.

Teaser

“I have to say, it’s refreshing to get to talk about the exhibits with someone.”

She looks at me with with an arched brow. “Oh? Why’s that?”

“Well, one, because I usually come here alone, and two, because when I came here with my ex, she had her face buried in her phone the entire time. So it was pretty much as if I went alone. Mind you, she was the one who suggested coming here. The only reason I never suggested it was because I thought she'd be bored.”

Her brows furrow, as though she’s baffled by this. “Why come to The Met just to be on your phone the entire time? That’s like going to Disney Land and waiting in the car. Or going to Universal Studios and not visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.”

My eyes widen in excitement. “You’re a Harry Potter fan?”

She nods. “Are you kidding? My sister and I are diehards.”

"The books or movies?"

"Both."

I chuckle and wag a finger at her. “I knew I liked you.”

She laughs. “I'm no Seer, but I think a Harry Potter marathon might be in our future.”

“And The Stand?” I add.

“And The Big Bang.”

“Okay, fine,” I chuckle. “But aren’t there like twelve seasons?”

She nods matter of factly. “279 episodes to be exact.”

I scratch my head in uncertainty, not knowing if I can sit through that many episodes of a show I don’t really care for.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she laughs. “It’s a lot.”

“No, I’ll give it a try. Who knows, I might actually like the damn show.”

“You will, I promise.”

“Well, how about this - I’ll watch the first three episodes, and if I still don’t like it, I don't have to continue,” I suggest, certain I can sit through three episodes of pretty much anything.

“Okay, but why three? Won't you know whether you like it or not after the first episode?"

"Nope."

She narrows her eyes. "How can you be so sure?"

I shrug. “The rule of three.”

She cocks a brow. “Rule of three?”

“Yeah, we subconsciously apply it to most things in life, including the way we make decisions." When she looks at me like I just grew two heads, I expand. "The average person typically gives something or someone at most three chances before they've made up their mind about whether or not they'll stick with it. If we’re not hooked by the third joke of a standup show or the third chapter of a book or the third date with the same person, we're usually emotionally done with it at that point. As they say in baseball, three strikes you’re out."

She nods. "And third time’s a charm?"

I point a finger at her. "Exactly. If something isn’t successful after the first couple times, chances are it will be the third try. So if it's not successful after three, it’s not meant to be.”

She purses her lips in thought. “Huh, I never thought of the number three as an unspoken rule before.”

“Yeah, it works for a lot of things in life. Including survival. You can survive three minutes without breathable air or in icy water, you can survive three hours in a harsh environment, you can survive three days without drinkable water and you can survive three weeks without food. In the Marines, we lived by the rule of three when it came to survival tactics and completing tasks. Worrying about more than three things can be confusing or overwhelming. And regarding organizational structure, officers usually have fire teams of three or squads of three teams and so forth. You see trios in a lot of stories and movies, too - The Three Musketeers, Three little pigs, The Three Stooges. The Declaration of Independence has three main purposes and uses the phrase, Life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. There are a lot of other famous quotes that use clusters of three. Love, honor and obey. I came, I saw, I conquered. Stop, drop and roll. There are three meals a day, and three-course meals.” I pause when I realize I’m rambling. “I could go on, but I don’t want to bore you...if I haven’t already.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “No, not at all. It's interesting because you’re right; we do live by the rule of three.” She bites her bottom lip, pondering that thought for a moment. “So, do we usually apply that rule to sex, too? Like if the first three dates are successful, is that when a person makes up their mind to sleep with the other person?”

My cheeks heat and I chuckle, trying to ignore the nerves in my stomach. I definitely wasn't expecting that question. Certainly not from her. She just seems quiet, a little shy and kind of reserved. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. This is the same woman who invited me into the ladies' room at the diner for a hot, steamy makeout session.

Fuck.

I have to shake the thoughts out of my mind, otherwise I'll be hard as a fucking rock until I drop her off. "Well, I can't speak for women, but I think men typically decide after the first date. Sometimes long before a first date is even established. Scratch that. Definitely before that."

A shy smile tugs at her lips as she looks away, her cheeks painted with an adorable shade of rosy red. “Sorry, it's just been a while since I've dated. My last boyfriend was my highschool sweetheart."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we started dating when we were both seventeen and were together for five years. I haven't dated anyone since we broke up."

"Wow. That is a long time. As far as your question goes, I don't know if the rule of three applies in this case, regardless of gender." I scratch my head nervously, trying to answer her without saying something stupid, but it's extremely hard when her question painted a very vivid picture in my mind.

Extremely hard, indeed.

"I mean, uh...it doesn't have to? That's up to you." I clear my throat, trying to get my thoughts straight. "The point I was making before was, if I don’t like The Big Bang Theory by the third episode, chances are I won’t like the rest of the series."

"Yeah, I get it now," she laughs.

@onceuponaprincessworld @teamhook @artistic-writer@ilovemesomekillianjones @hollyethecurious @gingerchangeling@ultraluckycatnd @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @snowbellewells @let-it-raines @wellhellotragic @itsfabianadocarmo @lfh1226-linda @sophiaaz @becausetheyrehappythisway @thislassishooked @hookedmom @resident-of-storybrooke @kateroselin @chamomileandmint @kday426 @sals86 @lawgeeks @yasbio2015 @xsajx @delightfully-difficult-pirate @wanderingjpg @squidvisious @tenaciouskittynight @biefaless @animatedshorts @lassluna @ejunkiet @melsbels @meat-pie-with-sauce @roseyflush @ivalane @tiganasummertree @nowforruin @qualitycoffeethings @nikkiemms @oncechicagolove @theonewiththeory @lostinwonderland314 @darkcolinodonorgasm @arshini01 @companion-mala @carpedzem @youareafeverdream @maguilar1028 @mayquita @courtorderedcake @shady-swan-jones @timeless-love-story @laschatzi @officerrogers @spartanguard @andiirivera @ouatpost @jarienn972 @winterbythesea @winterbaby89 @distant-rose @xhookswenchx

#writing struggles #small successes #my fic #original fic #shameless self promotion

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something-fanfiction-ie · 4 years

Text

Dream Analysis

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: vomiting, detailed crime discussion, mentions of sexual assault (to victim, not reader)

A/N: THIS IS PART ONE TO A POSSIBLE THREE PART IMAGINE. It’s based on a request. I’ll answer the request after I post this. Uhm, as always, make sure to like, comment, share, and send me asks! I am but a humble writer in need of validation. Thank you for giving my last Spencer Reid post lots of love, it helped me to motivate myself enough to write this one. I hope you enjoy! (Also, this would be a season five Spencer. Like, just after he stops using his cane. (But also that cane, ugh. He such a little old man and I love it. Jesus this Man™.))

—

The dream started with a kiss.

One of those movie kisses where the rain is soaked in your clothes but you can’t feel the cold for the heat coming from the body pressed so close to you that you can feel his heart beat through your shirt.

His hands are splayed on either side of your face, and while everything about the kiss is rough and passionate, like he can’t get enough of kissing you, his hands are gentle. When he pulls away, it’s with great reluctance. You try to follow his mouth with your own, desperate for more, but you stop when he chuckles.

“I’ve played this over and over in my mind but I’ve never thought I would actually be here, kissing you.” You reach up to push a wet curl from his forehead only for the image to change.

You’re still just as close to the man in front of you, your hand is still raised to push back his hair, but there are tears in his eyes now. They’ve spilled over his cheeks and puddled into the floor. The tears come up to your ankles and fill the room wall to wall, the water is so clear that you can see each individual fleck of gray in the marble flooring. Tiny fish dance around your toes, thousands darting back and forth between you and the man.

“Spencer, why are you crying?” You step around the fish nibbling at your ankles, finally pushing back the lock of hair that curls on his forehead. But Spencer is gone, and in his place is a little boy with the same curls and big brown eyes.

“I broke my glasses, but I didn’t mean to.” He says, tears pouring from his eyes. The room continues to fill up, the water just as clear as before. You wipe the water from his cheeks, giving what you hope is a gentle smile. His glasses, broken just as he said, have sunk to the floor.

“That’s okay. Let’s just find your mommy and daddy, I’m sure they’re looking for you. Do you know where they are?” This isn’t something new for you, you deal with a lot more kids then you would like in your line of work. Usually missing from their parents or in extremely dangerous situations.

“They don’t know where I am.” You rub his tiny arms in your hands, looking around the otherwise empty room for anyone. It’s only you and the little boy, and then just a quickly it’s only you. You’re floating in the water now, but you aren’t afraid.

Maybe there is more to the dream, maybe there isn’t, but when you wake up that’s all you remember.

The sun doesn’t even filter through the window when you open your eyes for the day, the clock on your nightstand reading 5:40 in the morning. Behind you, your fiancé has wrapped you into his chest with an arm draped over your side. His breath fans across the back of your neck and his hair tickles your shoulder.

You could stay like this all day long, cacooned into the arms of the man you love, except the paranoia that hits you is like a truck and you physically can’t restrain yourself from going to check on your daughter.

As quietly as possible, you slip from his arms, being careful not to make a sound as you slip off the mattress and across the floor. The door creaks on its hinges and Spencer stirs, his hand opening and closing at the empty spot like he was trying to find you.

When you finally make it into the nursery, you relax at the complete normalcy of the surroundings. No smashed or open windows, no lights left on, no one hiding behind doors or under cribs. Just your five month old baby asleep in the corner of her crib, the small stuffed bunny Spencer bought from the hospital gift shop is tucked under one of her chubby arms.

When you reach out to smooth a tuft of her feathery soft hair back into place, she stirs just a little and you freeze. You love her more than life itself, but if she could just stay asleep for now that would be spectacular.

“We’re going to have a hard time getting rid of that stuffed animal when she gets older, aren’t we?” You heard him coming from the creak of your bedroom door, not even bothering to turn around as you directed the question over your shoulder. Spencer comes to stand beside you, his hands gripping the top of the crib as you both watch your daughter sleep.

“Yes, but on the plus side, studies show that children with comfort objects are less shy and more focused than children without them. Even more so, children with comfort objects are more adventurous and independent because it helps them to go outside of their comfort zones without their parents.” You lean your head on his shoulder, content to stay like this forever.

“We’re not weird for watching her sleep?” He places a kiss to your temple, a smile tugging at his lips as your daughter reaches up to rub at her tiny ear.

“It’s common practice among parents.” One of his hands slips behind you to rub circles into your lower back. You’re not sure how long you stay like that until you peak a glance at the clock on her dresser. You and Spencer have to be at work in about an hour.

Lifting your head, you playfully pat his butt before making your way to the bathroom in your bedroom.

“Meet me in the shower?” You keep your voice pitched low, looking over your shoulder and winking mischievously.

“Actually, most sex-related injuries take place during shower sex. Penile fractures, sprained ankles, there are even reports of broken ribs.” The door to the nursery clicks shut as you step through your bedroom door, not even bothering to grab an outfit before heading to the bathroom.

Spencer stands in the doorway, his shoulder leaned against the frame as you begin fiddling with the water faucet. You make sure to keep the temperature cooler than you normally would, Spencer doesn’t like the water too hot.

“So you’re telling me that you’re going to pass on our first chance to have sex since about two weeks ago because you’re afraid you might slip?” Turning to face him, you grab the hem of you nightshirt, a t-shirt he got from Caltech but never wears, and pull it up and over your head. The morning air in the bathroom nips at your skin and goosebumps form.

His eyes darken, his tongue sweeping across his lips before he steps into the bathroom. He pulls you to him by hooking his thumbs into the waistband of your underwear, burying his head into the crook of your neck. You didn’t bother with a bra at night.

“No, I’m just saying you’re worth the risk.” He practically growls into the soft skin connecting your neck and shoulder, his lips hot as they suck a hickey there. Hungrily, he makes quick work of his own clothes, stumbling with you into the water stream and pulling the shower curtain close behind him.

Suffice to say, you and Spencer were just a little late to work. What with your morning shower sex that, funnily enough, resulted in you slipping and hitting your head on the wall, and rushing your daughter to the nanny’s, coupled with early morning D.C. traffic, it wasn’t really a surprise.

“Sorry, sorry.” Your head throbs as you guiltily follow Spencer into the conference room, taking your seat between Garcia and Prentiss. Hotch watches you both with eyes narrowed in disapproval.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve said before that I only let tardiness slide once. I won’t say it again.” Spencer looks at you from across the table, and the man actually has the balls to wink at you in front of everyone on the team. Now they will all know that any excuse you try to come up with will all be a lie to cover up your sex life.

Sure, they already know you sleep together, for heaven’s sake you have a five month old baby together. But they didn’t need to know that you had shower sex in the morning before coming to work.

JJ clears her throat, a small smile on her face as she turns back to the screen and continues with the case briefing. Her smile fades with every passing second, each murder being splashed across the screen with every gory detail enhanced for your eyes to see.

“Every victim is a girl between the ages of sixteen and nineteen, with brown hair and blue eyes. Each bearing signs of a sexual assault, their hands cut off and a cross cut into their foreheads post mortem.” Your stomach rolls around uneasily, your chest constricting with every picture.

You make it through the entire brief without barfing. You waste no time in grabbing your go bag and calling the nanny to let her know to drop Graeson at your mother’s tonight.

The flight to small town Texas isn’t long, but the whole way your head pounds and your stomach does flips. You wave off Spencer’s worry, chalking it up to plane sickness.

“I just need a nap, I’ll be fine.” You squeeze his hand reassuringly, leaning back and closing your eyes against the nausea that rolls through you. Your fiancé shuffles a little in his seat, squeezing your hand back to get your attention.

“You hit your head this morning, pretty hard. I mean, it woke up Graeson. What if you have a concussion?” His voice is a whisper, his eyes searching for any other symptoms of a concussion. You shake your head, sure that a concussion is not your issue.

“I’m almost certain that I don’t have a concussion, Spence. It’s been hours, I remember everything, my pupils aren’t dialated, right?,” He nods, looking deep into your eyes like he could x-ray the inside of your head that way, “I don’t feel dizzy, and I’m not even tired. I just think a nap will help. I’m okay.”

“Well do you feel sick?” He lifts the back of his hand to your forehead, his knuckles cool against your skin.

It’s funny that, even just checking you for a fever, his touch is enough to heat your cheeks. You try to swallow the urge to jump his bones when you think about this morning. Pre-slipping and hitting your head.

Spencer’s lips twitch when he catches the look in your eyes, trying to focus on your fever and not the sudden blush on your cheeks coupled with the dialation of your pupils. He knows it isn’t a concussion that caused that based solely on the fact that you shift in your seat to press your thighs together.

“Somebody keep an eye on the bathroom, they might try and join the mile high club.” Morgan teases from the couch, a smirk pulling at his cheeks. You send a mischievous smirk of your own his way as Spencer pulls his hand back into his lap.

“We did that before I got pregnant, Morgan.” Prentiss laughs, JJ smiles in amusement, and Hotch is quick to enter the conversation and cease the inappropriate teasing. He assures Morgan that no one will have or has had ‘relations’ (as he so gracefully phrases it) on the jet.

You lean back into your seat again, hoping for the love of God that you don’t have a concussion and that you’ll make it to Texas without throwing up. Spencer sits beside you, pretending to read. You know he is only pretending because every time you open your eyes, he still has his finger under the same paragraph. He doesn’t even bother to flip the pages for effect.

By the time you make it to Texas, the plane jostling you around as it makes contact with the runway, bile is starting to build in your mouth.

Hotch goes over where everyone is going one more time, collecting his things as the ride smooths. You and Prentiss have been assigned to the morgue to see the latest victim, seventeen year old Hillary Gutsham. Although looking at a mutilated teenager does not sound like the best idea while you’re fighting nausea, you don’t protest.

Rossi and Morgan are sent to the house of the last victim, and Reid and JJ are dispatched to the police station to set up the evidence board and get a geographical profile started.

“My favorite.” Spencer mumbles sarcastically against your temple as he presses a kiss to your head, giving you another once over before you part ways. “Tell Prentiss if you feel sick at any time. Maybe even have the ME double check you for a concussion.”

“I’m not having the medical examiner see if I have a concussion, Spencer. I’m fine. I’ll see you later.” Not even ten minutes later, Prentiss is holding your hair as you spill your guts onto the side of the highway.

“Are you sure you aren’t sick?” She asks once you’re back on the road, glancing over at you at the same time that she takes a turn the GPS won’t stop screaming at her to take. It says you’re another five minutes away from the morgue.

The voice seems to grate against the very nerve that throbs in your head, and finally you’ve had enough of it. You shuffle around in your bag for some ibuprofen and practically moan with relief when you find it in the bottom corner. Two clear blue pills sitting side by side in plastic and tin foil packing.

“If it isn’t motion sickness then I probably just have a really bad migraine. I used to get them bad when I was a kid, don’t let Spencer get in your head. He worries too much.” You swallow the pill dry, unwilling to wait for a pit stop at a gas station or even the now three minute wait to the morgue before getting a drink to take it.

Emily doesn’t argue, trusting that you know your own body better than she does. She does, however, lean forward and turn the volume on the GPS down. You can’t help but think how much you love her for it.

At the morgue it’s quiet. The lack of car horns, massive truck engines, and overall clamor of the road is like music to your ears.

A older lady named Dr. Hardy, the ME, leads you back as she discusses her findings with Emily. You mostly just listen, going over scenarios and theories in your head as they speak. It isn’t until Dr. Hardy reveals a new bit of information that your ears perk up.

“I did find signs of sexual assault along with some semen, both of which didn’t come as a surprise after the last five victims I autopsied from your case, however, I did find out that she was fifteen weeks pregnant. I had a DNA test run on the embryo and the semenial fluid but they weren’t a match.” At the same time, Dr. Hardy lifts the white sheet from her body.

The girl underneath is young and pretty, the only thing marring her beauty would be the deeply cut cross centered on her forehead. You don’t look to the hands, knowing that they won’t be there, instead you turn the new information over and over in your head.

You gasp.

“What? What are you thinking?” Prentiss and Dr. Hardy both look at you with curious eyes, unaware that the revelation you have just made is not about the case at all. You clear your throat, shoving the thought as deep as you can so as to not let it affect your work.

“I, uhm, she’s just so young... to be a mom.” Prentiss furrows her brows because she knows you’re lying. You know she’s going to let you get away with it when they smooth back into place.

“There’s only a nine year difference between you and her, (Y/L/N).”

“Nine years is more than people like to admit.” You look away from the girl on the table, wanting to be finished already. Prentiss doesn’t start saying her goodbyes for another fourty-five minutes.

She pesters you the whole way to the police station, but gives up when you exit the car and make a beeline for Spencer. The nausea is back, your headache gone, and your nerves are so tightly wound that you feel like you can hear the rushing of your blood in your ears.

If you were right, it had been nearly two months since your last period. But surely you would have noticed long before now if you were two months pregnant? Right? You’ve been pregnant before, infact you had done it just five months ago.

The bile rises like a wave in your mouth and you swing toward the bathroom, hand flying to your mouth just in case you don’t make it to the toilet. What help would your hand be if you throw up?

Thankfully, you make it to the toilet before you have to find out, throwing up everything but your stomach during your time in the precincts lovely restroom. The tile is just the right amount of cold to help the reality set in as you lean back against the stall door.

“Please let me have a concussion, please let me have a concussion.”

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid angst #criminal mind imagine #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler

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utterlyhopeful-fics · 4 years

Text

Love on the Line

This was all drunk Ashley’s doing so I apologize in advance..or do I? I didn’t edit this so don’t judge too harshly. I wrote part 2 if anyone’s interested? Angst is my middle name so enjoy and let me know what you think! Masterlist HERE

Henry Cavill x Reader

Warnings: ANGST, language (I can’t help myself)

*********************************

Today Y/N frankly did not feel among the others. She perched motionless in front of her window, chin firmly rested in her hand peering at those who roamed so freely and without judgement on the street below. Her body and brain; two different entities battling for dominance. Her brain rattled in annoyance constantly reminding her of its shortcomings and him.

It always circled back to his affections for her, how wonderfully happy she assumed they were, are? She wasn’t quite sure anymore. But reality seemed to have other plans… Her melancholy was all consuming, drowning her like arduous weights pulling at her limbs entrenching her deeper into its grasp. The push and pull was enough to surely give her some degree of whiplash.

Her blue haired dripped slowly down her spine from her morning shower as Y/N proceeded to get ready for the day. The air whipped vicariously, and yet still stifled Y/N in her own suffocation. Y/N couldn’t bring herself to care, she was losing him. I’m the literal definition of pathetic, or so she believed. Y/N found herself unable to halt the bitterness seeping into her limbs. Heartache is definitely not for the faint of heart. Y/N’s attention was drawn to a young couple canoodling at the café across the way, fixated solely on each other. Oh, to be young and naïve. She wished someone would’ve warned her of love’s poisonous taste. Jealously was a freaking bitch.

Henry’s fans created a special place of admiration and confidence over the past few years in the spotlight while others seemed to merely exist to make her life a living hell. Demeaning comments, snide looks, and online harassment was the price she paid to be with the famous actor.

Henry Cavill aka Superman only had eyes for her and it made her beam with unbridled pride. This day was different, tainted in confusion and riddled with question. There would be no smile gracing her rosy lips today unless she was forced into ignorant deception. A whispered word of “fine” before soldiering forward to another uninteresting topic. It was getting trickier and trickier to pretend she felt sane, whole, and most importantly, loved.

Henry hadn’t called since the tabloid story broke and it left her mind reeling with endless possibilities searing her directly in the chest. Y/N’s hand unknowingly guided to rub the tender spot begging for any sign of relief. Her heart ached ferociously as she realized there would be no peace for her today.

‘HENRY CAVILL SPOTTED GETTING COZY WITH CO-STAR ANYA CHALOTRA’

Fucking TMZ. Begrudgingly, Y/N walked to their shared bathroom before coming face to face with her reflection. Her skin was pale, bags present under her eyes from another restless night, and of course her look wouldn’t be complete with Y/N’s tear blotched cheeks. For this girl loathed the image reflected back at her since she went public with Henry. How could someone love her when she simply hated herself?

He promised to fight in her corner and never allow the public to tear her to shreds. She thought she was independent and strong, but she got one small taste of love and she was hungrier than anyone. He was gorgeous and he had wanted her or so she thought. He’d been away for four months filming his new Netflix show, The Witcher. Y/N recalled the day his agent called to tell him the good news and how his eyes gleamed with excitement. Her phone rung in the background piercing the quiet space.

**Flashback**

It was a dreary London day. Typical. The kind of day that was perfect for cuddling on their couch and watching the season two finale of Ozark. His arm laid lightly against her shoulders pulling her as close as humanly possible to his warm side. Y/N sighed in complete contentment wondering how the Adonis looking man by her side choose her.

“Danny! Please tell you’ve got good news mate!”

“Holy shit, Cavill! After a little push, they decided on their new Witcher. Congrats, my friend! You fucking nailed it!”

Henry jumped from his embrace with Y/N pacing the room with exhilaration briefly meeting the Y/N’s gaze. She was beaming. He loved the ember glow of her blue eyes when she was genuine. It was one of many favorite qualities she admired.

“Oh man. Thanks for letting me know, friend. I’m so pumped to be apart of this!”

Hanging up the phone, Y/N watched in awe as Henry happy danced across their living room lifting her up and spinning her around. One of those epic moments without realization. Pure bliss. Her arms wrapped around his neck; his breath tickled along the column of her neck keeping the pair close.

“I’m so proud of you baby. You seriously worked your ass off for this role!”

His smooth lips met hers in an intense embrace. His eyes tinted with a hint of lust as their kiss deepened. His arms wrapped tighter around her waist wishing he could freeze this moment in his memory forever. Curiously enough it was one of her favorite days, one of those days where they just enjoyed the pure presence of one another.

#my writing #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine #angst #fanfiction #henry cavill angst #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x you

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astraeal · 3 years

Text

Commission for @aciddial! I had a lot of fun writing this; hope you enjoy! Read on AO3 here.

Stardew Valley, and all characters therein, belongs to concernedape.

Leah’s washing her freshly picked blackberries when the birdsong falls silent. Her days are measured by the ebbing and flowing of flora, fauna, and the babbles of the river, and though it’s growing darker, the birds should still be singing. She flicks the water off her hands, drying them against her shirt as she goes to the window.

The sky is darker than it should be for an autumn evening, but rain is common as the seasons begin to change in the valley; less than the thunderstorms of summer, but still something worth celebrating. Perhaps the rain will push out a couple more mushrooms and berries before winter’s chill sets in; that, Leah can get behind.

Rough sketches, surplus canvases and paints, inventory sheets of supplies, and scattered, dulled tools, resting between miniature scale replicas of future projects cover her only table. She’d rather sit and eat than have to wade back into her workspace. Then again, her cabin is so small, the whole structure could be considered her workspace. She likes to think that she keeps her bed free from her work, but even then she makes exceptions to sketch her dreams from time to time, so.

Perhaps not.

She finishes cleaning the berries, setting some aside in the jars the Farmer had kindly given to her, the rest sprinkling on her evening salad. She perches on her stool, the plate held aloft in her hand as she begins her dinner. As she chews over the fall fresh berries, her mind wanders through the pathway of small cabins and creatives who live inside them, and naturally, she begins to think about Elliott.

He insists that he’s fine down in his little beachside shack, but that doesn’t stop her from offering for him to stay with her every autumn and winter. There are some comforts the forest offers that the beach does not, just as there are comforts her cabin offers that Elliott does not. He treats his piano with better care than he treats himself, despite Leah’s best efforts to improve her friend’s state of living.

Sure, Willy doesn’t mind allowing Elliott’s use the bait & tackle shop’s outhouse, and his electricity bill is nonexistent because there’s simply no lights in the shack. But when Leah points out that maybe those things aren’t exactly good, Elliott refuses to see reason. It’s a point of independence and pride, she knows; they both were running away from naysayers when they each came to Pelican Town.

She still feels that relief whenever she sees him walk into the saloon, that balm of finding another artistic spirit in a place of salt-of-the-earth folk. Of course, there are dreamers elsewhere, but aside from Sebastian and Abigail’s infrequent character art commissions, Elliott is the only person with whom she can talk about her craft.

And right now, she’s in her cozy woodland cabin, eating a foraged salad by the fire, and he’s probably freezing his ass off in his drafty shack. She’s talked with Harvey; she knows Elliott goes to the clinic more often than not in the colder months, and beer doesn’t keep a cold away like mead, according to Willy.

She presses a blackberry to the roof of her mouth with her tongue, feeling it slowly crack apart and turn to sweet, seedy mush. Tomorrow, she resolves; tomorrow she’ll talk to him and make him seriously consider moving in for this winter. Even the community center is well under way; perhaps he could temporarily move in there, and take advantage of a proper fireplace instead of a firepit.

Leah clears her plate to the sink, already planning where she could unroll her extra cot if need be. If she did the work ahead of time, maybe Elliott would take advantage of what she was offering. Maybe, just maybe, she could make him dinner, bring him up to the cottage and have him coincidentally stay while the storm rages on.

Yeah; that’ll be what she does.

♢♢♢

She wakes up to a loud cracking sound outside her cabin, and the sound of something large crashing to the ground. Then, the white noise rushing in her ears registers as rain, the ominous rumble of thunder coming from somewhere to the north. Her cabin is dark, save for the firelight, but even that has dwindled down.

Leah swings herself out of bed, first tending to the fire to coax it back up to full brightness, feeding more logs into the heat. As the cabin glows warmer and brighter, she turns to look around. Nothing seems out of place inside, so she goes to the window, pressing her nose to the glass and looking into the darkness.

Two pine trees closer to the river bank have been struck by lightning, split down the middle, still slightly steaming in the rain. She knows she’s lucky they hadn’t caught fire; the forest could have gone up in flames and she could have been stuck in her very flammable, very toxic-if-lit-ablaze cabin full of art supplies and paint. Still, those weren’t small trees, and while she mourns the loss of two of the older companions she’d had since moving to Pelican Town, she also recognizes the severity of the storm. To be able to strike down such trees, old and strong as they were, required no shortage of lightning and chance.

Again, her thoughts drift to Elliott, in his own drafty, cold cabin, surrounded by much flimsier palm trees. If one of them was struck, the tree could easily fall onto his cabin – or worse, fall onto Elliott himself.

She grabs her galoshes and stuffs her braid into a knit hat, dressing quickly. She doesn’t know what time it is, but if the storm woke her up, then it must’ve woken Elliott. He’s a light sleeper, always has been, and she mentally kicks herself for not heading to the Saloon the night prior, not being able to check in with him.

Before she leaves, she pulls out two thick knit sweaters and sweatpants, as warm and neutral as she can. Much of her and Elliott’s personal taste in fashion overlaps, a fact she’s grateful for, but he can be particular regarding loungewear. Better to be safe than sorry.

Armed with a flashlight and a long waterproof jacket, Leah heads out into the storm. Marnie’s cows are all boarded up in the barn, and the path to town is clear of any debris, though Leah’s footsteps squelch deep into the mud. She moves quickly, running parallel to Willow Lane, skirting between the fence line of the sewer entrance and the trees. The river swells with rain water, and she slips a couple times but never completely falls.

The street lamps at the entrance to the beach have halos around them, the light smeared across the buckets of rain pouring down. She jogs into the soaked sand, and from there on every step becomes twice as difficult. She’s has to be particular with how she moves, taking it one step at a time, fighting towards the door of Elliott’s cabin.

His windows are dark, and she feels horrible for letting him continually choose this version of his independence. The stone pathway does little to give her reprieve from the muddy sand, but it gives her just enough to get to the doorway and knock. A loud crack of thunder sounds from over the ocean, the sky briefly bathing her in white light.

She knocks loudly, even as she opens the door, announcing herself. “Elliott! It’s Leah!”

She shines the flashlight around the cabin. Her cubist artwork still hangs on the wall above the piano. But the table that usually resides in the corner has been pulled into the center of the cabin, with a bucket in the corner catching a rather impressive stream of water. The bed itself has been pulled away from the wall, towards the front of the cabin, and huddled in that bed is where Elliott sits, a book held to his chest.

“Leah darling! What are you doing here?”

Leah closes the door, leaning against it. The movement drags the spotlight of the flashlight across the floor, and it’s then that she sees water bubbling up between the panels. “Elliott, your house is filling with water.” Her voice is somehow calm, despite the freezing rain she had to run through to get here, and the predicament her friend keeps putting himself in. “Your house is filling with water and you’re not even at the Saloon?”

“It’s 2am, I left there hours ago.” He at least manages to look a little ashamed. “I didn’t think the storm was going to be as bad as it was.”

“The Farmer told us the weather was going to be getting worse.”

“The Farmer lives between the forest and the mountains, it’s a completely different biome than here on the coast.” Elliott presents his words with a flick of his hand, yet the ambivalence is undermined by the congestion in his nose and the slight tremble in his fingers.

“Oh, did Demetrius tell you that?” Leah rhetorically asks as she walks over, bringing Elliott’s boots from where they had been discarded by the front door. “Come on; you’re spending the night at my place.”

Elliott blinks in surprise. “Leah, that’s…you really don’t have to do that. I’m quite fine here on my own. And I can’t leave without my manuscript.”

“El,” Leah murmurs, holding the boots out to him. She aims the flashlight at the ceiling, the light cascading down around the both of them, giving them enough to see in the pale white light. “You have the story in your mind. You can bring it with you, if you really need to, but I’m not leaving you here, alone, with–”

Her words are covered by the loud crack of thunder. Pointedly, she gestures around the leaky cabin.

She sees a bit of that classic Elliott pride in his eyes, the squaring of his shoulders. He’s older than her, yet she consistently takes on the leading role, the more grounded approach, because she can’t fully lose herself in make believe worlds. Her work is in reality, and the reality of this situation is that she can’t walk away and leave him here alone.

But the next rumble of thunder in the distance lets them both know that this storm isn’t going to pass overnight; it will likely be here until tomorrow, leaving them in much the same predicament. Leah gives him another withering look, and two minutes later the duo make their way back to the forest.

As they pass over the bridge, Leah can hear the water sucking at the lower side of the stone structure. She watches as it spills over, and can hear the soft wheeze with each of Elliott’s breaths as they walk back to the forest. It’s slight for now, but she can only imagine it’ll get worse with time. Harvey will have something to say about it, that’s for sure.

Together, the two arrive, rain soaked and nearly blinded by the darkness, to Leah’s cabin. She pushes the door open, ushering Elliott inside first, then following herself. “Take whatever you want from the bed,” she says, tiredly gesturing to the bed, flinging some water off her hand in the process.

The two kick their boots off and lay their jackets on the coat rack. Leah watches as Elliott carefully spreads the manuscript pages – only slightly crumpled – onto the darkened WIP table. She peels off her wet jeans and socks, casting them in front of the fire to dry out little by little, picking her way to the bed. She takes her hair out of its soaked braid, her hat also needing to dry.

“If you’re hungry, I can whip us up some tea with elderberry syrup,” she offers, brushing her hair out.

Elliott comes over, clumsily putting his hair up into a bun and taking the softer, baggier pair of joggers from the bed. “Thanks,” he murmurs, his voice a little hoarse.

Leah politely looks away when Elliott takes his shirt off, but she is relieved to see a bare back, meaning his binder isn’t on. He tends to keep it on far past the guidelines for expected use, but that’s an argument she’s too tired to have right now. When they’re both dressed in warmer, dry clothes, she pulls back the sheets on her bed and gestures for Elliott to get in.

“What? I can’t possibly put you out of your own bed.”

She points more emphatically at the sheets. “I have a cot I can use, but you need a warm bed. In.”

He throws a pout at her, but which she returns by sticking her tongue out. She feels better – better that he’s good enough to be teasing her, and better that he’s getting in the bed and following her directions with minimal complaining. She goes to the small array of kitchen appliances she has tucked against the wall, and begins to prepare some elderberry syrup tea. Something to warm them both, and she notes the soft sniffles Elliott keeps giving off.

“Do you want something to eat?” she softly asks, the sound of the rain cocooning them in relative safety. Thunder booms every so often, but it’s not as close now, perhaps moving more towards the mountains, or simply a break in the storm.

There’s no response.

She turns to look, and sees him curled up on his side, the blankets pulled so only his eyes are visible, watching her. She furrows her brows a little, though she smiles in response, and softly prompts, “El?”

He hums a little, and she can tell he’s smiling from below the blankets. “Uh huh?”

“I asked if you wanted something to eat. I have some tom kha soup, if you want. With crab.” She watches as his brows furrow a little – now he’s confused.

“I thought you didn’t eat meat.” Leah’s vegetarian, but that doesn’t mean she can’t stock her friend’s favorites.

She simply shrugs. “Yeah, but you do.” At his resulting silence, she blushes a little more, turning back to stir the heating syrup. “What?”

Elliott remains silent, but she hears the soft rustle of sheets. “That’s really very kind of you, Leah. Thank you.”

She feels her cheeks flame a little, then reaches down into the basket of jars. She pulls out the jar of soup and a pot, clicking the flame on the stove and pouring the soup inside to heat up. “Y-yeah, anytime.”

It’s now that she remembers exactly why it would be so difficult for her to have Elliott permanently in her space. If not for their quite different versions of productivity and rhythms of living, there’s also the unmitigated crush that had blossomed over the course of their friendship. She knows he’s aware of her rocky foundations with romance, especially as it intersects with her art career – she’s told Elliott the story of Kel more than once, sometimes after one too many beers at the Saloon. But Elliott was never anything but supportive, and he always made sure to respect her boundaries when it came to romance.

She knows that he’s currently working on some romance novel, though, and that part of that had to do with the Farmer’s influence. Then again, she’s currently working on pieces for the town art show, also at the Farmer’s influence. Maybe they’re all a little starstruck with the newcomer, or maybe the Farmer just makes for good inspiration. Muses come in all shapes and sizes, and the Farmer’s never been anything but helpful.

They’re the reason Leah has leftover tom kha soup in the first place.

She has a spoon in each hand, stirring the pots in circles, before the syrup reveals itself as ready. Her electric kettle has the water primed and ready, and she drizzles the syrup at the bottom of the cups before tossing in some mint tea and pouring the water over it. The rest, she’ll cool to keep on hand as actual syrup, but the freshly made syrup – or sauce, as it really is in this form – is good to go now.

Taking the cups over to the bed, she hands one to the newly resurfaced Elliott. He looks much softer and safer here, tucked in her bed, the sweater a little tight on his arms but still comfortable nonetheless. He takes the cup with gentle, ink stained fingers, green eyes watching her with something she can’t quite name.

“Drink that and tell me how you feel in the morning,” she says, feeling her words slip quietly out of her mouth.

He nods, and she sees his soft freckles across the bridge of his nose, usually long dormant as the shorter days come about in the colder months of the year. “I have some inkling.” The words seem to puzzle him, and Leah tilts her head a little as he hurriedly takes a sip.

What could that mean?

“Let me get the soup. I’ll be the one eating it, it’s the least I can do.” There’s a darkened splotch on his upper lip, leftover from some elderberry syrup. She wants to reach up and wipe the syrup away, but she instead takes a sip of her own tea, nodding in gratefulness. Her legs ache from the struggle through mud and sand, and she hasn’t sat down since they arrived back home.

Isn’t that a thought? To call this a home in regards to them both.

She sits on the bed next to him, watching the fire dance in the brick enclosure. “You could move in here full time,” she offers, her mouth working without full permission from her brain. “Thoreau ran off to the woods for two years, two months, and two days. Think of the beach cabin as a summer home.”

“Thoreau wasn’t writing what I want to write. But I appreciate the comparison.” He laughs a little into his cup, fidgeting with his earring with one hand.

“Just, please think about it. I mean, what is the cabin going to look like when this storm ends? And winter’s coming, all of that’s going to freeze over, and you’re far enough from Harvey’s that going to an appointment is a whole ordeal, and…Look, Elliott, I just don’t feel comfortable letting you stay there.”

Elliott sighs. “…I’ll stay for the next couple days. At least until I can get the water out of my house.”

“And fix it so that the water stops coming into your house. I mean, do you know how unsafe that is?” Leah is aware that she’s perhaps ranting a little, but she feels it’s deserved.

“Yes, darling, I know. It’s all I can afford though, since no one in this town is moving out anytime soon.” He hops out of the bed, going over to address the soup. Wordlessly, she follows, handing him the only bowl she has in her possession. Enough living materials for one, not two, but she would be willing to make the choices to purchase more for him. She’d be willing to make that space in her life and fill it with Elliott, if only he would let her.

Once his soup is poured, she joins him back on the bed, sitting cross legged and clutching her tea. “You pay nothing to live there; I’m sure there’s gotta be room somewhere. Maybe there’s some apartments above Pierre’s? You know he’d love another way to make a quick buck.”

Elliott laughs, sipping the soup directly from the bowl. “Maybe, darling.” He sounds a little cleared up, and Leah hopes that trend continues. Nothing against Elliott, but she knows he can be a bit of a baby when he’s sick. Not that she finds it endearing or anything, or appointed herself Pelican Town’s resident Sick-Elliott-Caretaker despite knowing this. Nothing like that.

“I just, you know. If you don’t want to come here. I know that my sculpting can be kind of loud, and I know you need quiet to work, and there’s not a whole lot of places in town.” She tugs a little at the sweater by her wrist, suddenly shy.

“I…wouldn’t mind living with you, Leah. I’m sure we could come up with an arrangement to suit both of our styles of work.” He’s also blushing, but Leah attributes that to the heat in the cabin. Surely, that just means the warm soup is working its magic.

She nods, and the conversation quietly dies. Rain continues to pummel the roof and siding of the house, but thankfully no more trees fall. They finish their tea, and Elliott finishes his soup, and they’re faced with the exhausting prospect of pulling out a cot and making it with pillows.

“Or you could just sleep in here,” Elliott offers, patting the sheets next to him. “I would sleep better knowing I’ve not displaced you for longer than this storm required.”

Leah rubs her eye, looking at the warm inviting sheets – and man within them – and the empty space where she knows her cot could go. “Would…you be comfortable with that?”

Elliott nods. “I trust you.”

That alone makes Leah’s heart race a double time, and she heads over to the bed. She slips between the sheets, nose to nose with her closest friend, feeling safe in the rain. Just in case he catches anything, she knows she shouldn’t be so close to him. But it’s comfortable, and the moment he slings an arm over her waist she’s out like a light, exhaustion finally catching up with her.

♢♢♢

She wakes with Elliott’s arm still around her, her back pressed to his front, and the rain continuing down. It’s less now than it was in the middle of the night, and she hopes that means the damage to the town is going to be less than the forest. Still, she can hear the rushing of the river, still overly full of rain water, and she knows it’s going to be a while before she feels safe taking her sketching supplies to the pier to draw lake life.

Leah yawns, stretching out a little, feeling her muscles yelling at her for having the audacity to go for a midnight sprint through the rain. Elliott tugs her closer, and she remembers that he hasn’t actually left the bed, nor her house, nor her person. She freezes, eyes wide, staring across her cabin at the whorls in the wood.

Elliott is still asleep, breaths deep and even. She knows that there’s a possibility that he wakes up, shy and embarrassed, about them being so pressed together. Even still, there’s only one bed, and it’s a small bed at that, so maybe they can both be forgiven this moment of weakness. She closes her eyes, resting again in this warm embrace.

She’s unsure of how long passes before she wakes up again, this time because Elliott himself is waking up. He rolls away from her, his shoulder hitting the wall if the dull thud is anything to go by, resulting in a sleepy grumble.

Staying still, Leah waits to see how Elliott responds to their morning position. True to the romantic man he is, he reaches over and resumes holding her closer to him. She feels him sigh, his breath moving over her hair, followed by a soft, “Good morning, darling.”

“Good morning,” she replies, wondering how he knew she was awake. His resulting startle tells her that he did not, in fact, know she was awake. Which meant he wasn’t saying that for her benefit at all.

Interesting.

“How’d you sleep?” he asks, still holding her close to him.

“Good; how about you?”

“Oh, wonderful, thanks. Haven’t been this warm since before the Moonlight Jellies arrived.” She can feel his smile through the words, and it makes her laugh a little bit to herself.

“Well, stick around here and you’ll be as toasty as you like.”

There’s a moment of quiet, and then a soft response. “I’d like that.”

Leah blushes, biting her lower lip. “I can get us some breakfast, if you’d like. It’s not too late, I don’t think.”

“That would be nice.” Elliott turns with a stretch, back cracking a little. “I suppose I should see what the damage is at home.”

The dip in his tone makes Leah feel guilty. Of course her first priority was to get Elliott to a safe place, but after that, what of what he had to leave behind? He claimed to do well in his self-imposed minimalist lifestyle, but to Leah, that meant what little he had was very important. It was something he couldn’t deal without, if he’s to be believed.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “Why don’t we –”

A sneeze interrupts her, and she starts, hopping out of bed. The movement makes her muscles protest, and she winces a little, rubbing a hand down her thighs. “We’ll go to Harvey’s first. Then breakfast, and then…the beach? It’s still raining, so it might not be…done.”

It referring to the slow damage done to the beachside shack. She doesn’t want to be impolite, but she doesn’t want to sugarcoat how bad it could be. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get the image of water bubbling up between the floorboards out of her head.

“Sure,” Elliott says, his breathing a little raspier than before. He clears his throat, brows furrowed, the magic of the morning seeming to fade away. “Yeah, let’s see what he has to say.”

Harvey, of course, was happy to see them both, then contrite at his happiness as if they’d accuse him of being pleased with their misfortune. Luckily, Elliott didn’t seem to have anything serious, besides a growing cold. He sent them home with some medicine, tucked away in a little waxy paper bag folded over, and prescription for rest and hydration. Nothing to do but wait it out, he’d said, and Leah had bitten the inside of her cheek.

Of course.

“Well that sucks,” Elliott mutters as they leave the clinic. The Saloon isn’t open yet, and Leah doesn’t feel great bringing Elliott to a bar first thing in the morning.

“Yeah. Sorry about the sickness, but it could have been worse if you’d stayed.”

Elliott shakes his head. “Not that, darling. That I could have gotten you sick is the real drawback here. I do my best work when left to my own devices, but I know how you like to travel around Pelican Town, gaining inspiration from whatever you can find. I’d hate to be in the way of that.”

Leah frowns a little, biting her lower lip. “Well…thank you.” It’s still strange to have someone care for her when she’s so used to doing the caring for others. It’s not that Elliott is immature, far from; it’s just that he has grand, romantic notions that often leave him far from reality, and that means he acts a little less like one would expect. Then again, only Harvey and Shane seem to be in Elliott’s same age bracket, and each of them is so different from the other, Leah doesn’t know how they begin to compare.

“Here, why don’t we do this? You head home, and I’ll restock on some groceries and healthy stuff. When you’re feeling better, we’ll handle the, uh, Beach Situation.” She gives him a warm, crooked smile, and she’s not imagining the way his face flushes a little, independent of the low grade fever he’s running.

“That could take days, though. Leah, I don’t want to –”

“Please.” She puts her hand on his forearm, ignoring the little look Jodi gives her as she and Sam walk towards Joja Mart. “For me? You’re not going anywhere else for the time being, I won’t let you.”

Elliott raises an eyebrow. “Oh, you won’t let me?”

“Yeah, I won’t let you.” The challenge comes with a bit of familiar sass, and she raises a brow in turn. “There’s nowhere else to go, El, please.”

He sighs. “Fine, fine. You win.” And then a warm smile. “I’ll be waiting.”

♢♢♢

Elliott remains with Leah for four days. It takes two before he starts personally feeling better, but it takes another day before the beach is dry enough for either of them to consider going through the sand. Elliott’s important belongings are salvageable, though bigger pieces like the bed and tables need severe rebuilding to make them serviceable again. The mold and rot creeping up the piano’s legs, however, nearly drives Elliott to tears.

Leah comforts him, passing along contact information she had from when she still lived with Kel in the city and had debated a career in music. It would take a couple months, but the piano could be good as new in no time.

On the fourth day, Elliott and Leah sit in the cozy woodland cabin, each quietly working. Elliott had crafted a space for himself at the table, back to the open windows, writing whatever additional scenes had come together in his feverish state. Leah stations herself at the easel, broad strokes bringing to life a vivid autumnal woodland scene. These quiet moments shared together have the opportunity to become something more profound.

Leah finishes putting the touch on the sunlight coming through the young buck’s antlers before she finally pulls back. “El? Do you wanna go to the fair?” she asks, stretching back and feeling her body thank her after so long of remaining in one position.

Elliott grunts in response, and she looks over her shoulder, seeing him clearly still in the midst of working. She sets her brush down on the paper towel, getting up and going over to him. “Elliott.”

“Huh?” He looks up, brows furrowed, flyaways swaying with the movement of his head. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“The fair. It’s starting soon. Do you want to go?” She comes up beside him, one hand in her pocket of her paint splattered jeans, the other on the table.

“Oh. I’d like that, sure.” He gives her a warm smile, hastily grouping the pages back together. “Sorry about not hearing you. I had a new idea for a story.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes; it takes place in an enchanted forest, where the weather is broken. Snow comes up from the ground, lakes and rivers collect at the bottom of tree branches – very Dalí meets Escher. But there’s one woman who moves forward through time, while the rest of the world moves backwards, and she meets a man who moves only through space but not through time. So everything happens at the same time for him, though he can go to different places to experience other perspectives. And they have to work together to put the forest back to rights, but they each have to rely on the other because while she can see the future, he can see the immediate changes and ripple effects, and they have to communicate that with the other while being completely unable to see what the other can. It’s an exercise in communication, trust, and romance.”

This is the farthest from her understanding as an artist, though she does understand the artistic references. “Wow. That sounds…interesting.”

He gives her a look as he laces his boots up. “…Yeah.” The look on his face is somewhat confused. Or maybe something else.

“What?”

He blushes. “Nothing. Let’s go?”

“No, hey, wait.” She steps between him and the door, looking up at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that it’s a bad premise or anything. I think it’s really cool, it’s just…what are you calling it so far?”

“Sunken Shores,” he murmurs, and she has a small realization, that’s more of an altering of her perspective. Something that was always just slightly to the left, just slightly out of reach, now slotting into the proper place.

“…Really?” That’s not what she means to say, and she watches how his expression shutters. “I mean – Elliott, is that inspired by, uh…”

The pain in his expression shifts a little. “You really didn’t know?”

“I…” There’s no way that she’s going to be able to duck out of this conversation. “I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Get your hopes up,” he repeats in a whisper, as if completely unsure that she actually means that. “Why…you..oh.”

She blushes. “Yeah, oh.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was going to! But then you were here, and then you were sick, and I didn’t want to make things weird while you were houseless. And you really seemed to like living here, and I didn’t want to say something and make you uncomfortable. You’re my best friend, El. I didn’t want to ruin that.” She starts out defiant, voice raised a little in a panic, but it falls to a whisper by the end of it.

“Oh.” He rolls his lips, green eyes looking askance, before searching her face. “I mean, I’ve liked you for quite a while. I knew how things ended with Kel, though, and I didn’t want to press where you were, you know…still healing.”

She winces a little at the mention of her ex. “Yeah…she did a number on me, huh?” A beat, and then, “I’m better. Than I was. And I appreciate that, and…I…do you, um, want to…?”

Elliott blinks for a moment. “Do I want to what?”

Leah’s face flushes, her entire body heating. “Do you want to go out? Maybe?”

He tilts his head, giving her a warm smile. “What do you think going to the fair is?”

“Oh!” The noise is involuntary, a mere vocalization of a series of exclamation points. She’s flustered, and it only gets worse when Elliott takes another step, further into her personal space. He puts his fingertips beneath her chin, delicately tipping her chin upwards so they can lock eyes.

“A gentleman has no reason to withhold his love from the public,” he murmurs, “yet he should also never kiss and tell. So I find myself at odds, with how to proceed.’

This can’t be happening to her. The most romantic man in Pelican Town can’t be asking her in his roundabout way if she wants to kiss. She nods, barely adding pressure to the fingertips at her jaw, not breaking away from his gaze. “I wouldn’t mind,” she whispers.

Despite his obvious charm, Leah knows he’s never really been with anyone for a long period of time. Part of that was due to his discomfort with his perception before coming out, even to himself; once that veil had been lifted, and Elliott established a new relationship with himself, his confidence grew, and with it, his attractiveness. But he’s still new to all of this, and Leah wants to gently push him along, but all of those thoughts of remaining careful melt away the moment his lips touch hers.

She feels herself wrap her arms over his shoulders, pulling him closer to her, going up on her tiptoes and humming into the kiss. It feels electric, like the storm that had forced the two of them together, yet by some miracle they’re able to keep it semi-chaste. When they part, their gazes remain on the other’s mouth, as if waiting for permission for a second kiss. It comes easily, Leah softly pressed against the wood of the doorway, Elliott now cradling her face between his large, writer’s hands, softly tasting the morning coffee from each other’s mouths.

When Elliott pulls back for the second time, Leah realizes they’re both panting. “Maybe…that was overdue,” she says softly, and Elliott laughs.

“One could say that.” He tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and gives her a fond look that is familiar – one he gave her from between her sheets on the night of the storm. “Come. Let’s go get some of Gus’ specialty barbecue. And, perhaps, some of Farmer’s wine for the lady.”

Leah hugs him, pressing her face to his chest. They have so much more to talk about – the logistics of Elliott’s winter move, affording the piano repair, how Elliott will work in the cabin when Leah does her winter sculpting, when they should make the relationship public, among other things – but for right now she’s content to be here, in her cabin, much less lonely than either of them had been before.

“Sure. Let’s hit up the fair.” And so they do.

#commissions #stardew valley commission #stardew valley #sdv #sdv elliott #sdv leah #elliot/leah #aciddial #thank you for commissioning me!! this was a lot of fun

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sunriseseance · 4 years

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HECK YEAH alrighty here we go then! 1. Broadly: what do you predict we'll see from Klaus in s3? I know you've mentioned him snapping a bit- what're your thoughts on what that might entail? (1/?)

I think that Klaus is experiencing his first full moment of independence, especially power independence, at the same time he is experiencing extreme emotional turmoil. They’ve told us that alcohol (at east) does jack shit to prevent his powers. I think that he has spent a long, long time with people who (IMO) do care about him, but don’t think about him all that often. “Klaus is still Klau” as a modus operandi for the entire family, at least at default. Now he no longer has a Powerful or Moral (although I have my problems with this interpretation) Ben to lean on, I think we’re gonna see a Klaus who is coming into his own, who is hurting deeply in ways the sibling do not (and possibly cannot, Klaus lies and masks A LOT) know, and who feels that the turmoil inside of him belongs outside.

2. Do you expect to see Klaus’ powers expanded on in s3, and if so, how do you think they’ll go about that? I think levitation and telekinesis would be amazing but seeing as they’ve already given those away to his siblings, I don’t think it’s all that likely. I love your clairvoyance theory (more on that shortly), and I've been playing with the idea of a telepath or empath Klaus, something akin to his "channeling" powers from the comics. (2/?)

I think that probably the primary thing in store for Klaus is commanding ghosts and being possessed. These play together interestingly and are both extremely powerful. He can command an army without a second thought, and they listen to him, but also if he slips up they can jump in his body, he’s gone and they’re in charge. It’s an interesting and fruitful dichotomy and power structure. Also I think he can make ghosts possess other people. They made a big point of showing that Klaus was conscious before Ben entered Vanya’s mind. If he can command spirits, and spirits can possess other people that is a great deal of power. (Also, like, Klaus is able to make Ben not possess him. Neither of them may know it, but he DOES command spirits. He does.)

As to his comic powers, I think we may very well get them!! They’ve teased levitation multiple times in s2 alone, and I think this idea that a show about shitty superheroes would care if their powers were redundant does not quite vibe with me. Like, what’s the point of Luther if Vanya can stop bullets and lift a tank with sound waves. Klaus’s version of TK could EASILY have its own niche (no need for a trajectory or sound waves). I don’t want to promise that it’s coming because, like, focusing on his psychic related powers is more cohesive, but I don’t think that the option is in any way off the board.

3. If they go ahead and give him clairvoyance, how would you like to see that play out? 4. Similarly, do you think his possession powers will be explored further in s3? (3/?)

I think that giving him clairvoyance would be a very handy plot device on top of being interesting for the character. Klaus’s powers have pushed him to the extremes of apathy. Imagine what that would look like if he has the capacity to know everything? He is a person who deals with the hurt of others by denying everything. He has had too much asked of his empathy and compassion. Giving him clairvoyance gives him access to all the hurt in the world. I would love to see that. I would love to see his brain forcing him to care about people because in this particular regard he CAN 100% help.

Yes absolutely I think his possession powers will be explored further. I know this is a controversial subject, but I think the show took care to make it clear that is is awful and terrifying for him (however it was for Ben) and that it plays interestingly with his ability to summon and command spirits. It serves as a way to even the playing field, almost. He command them, they can take him over. That’s scary for everyone. I don’t think this is one and done at all.

4. I would LOVE to hear more about your thoughts on Hotel Oblivion's influence on TUA s3- disclaimer, I haven't read the comics (yet). (4/?)

YES OKAY. Based on my own personal desires and my knowledge of the comics (Sparrows locked up) and also the Sparrow crest, I think s3 is going to include at least some of Team Zero locked in the hotel. It could EASILY be all of them, but I could see Reg deciding to keep Five, and even Vanya. This would be interesting because it allows Five to age, allows Five to rest, allows Vanya to see the horrors of actually BEING on a super hero team, and requires 1-4 to save themselves, and in my IDEAL world, save Five from Reg, as well. It would be so fun to watch 1-4 escape the hotel and rescue Five. IMO the hotel is going to be the best if it is treated as a piece of horror. Not something they can understand, something simultaneously enticing and hostile, and something that they have to fight their individual Bullshits to escape. Whoever is in it. I think that would be beautiful.

5. How would you like to see Klaus' character develop this season? Seeing as s2 has left him unprecedentedly broken, I think this will lead to an AMAZING pay off in s3, esp when it comes to him being without Ben. His powers have so much potential (even w/o the comic book expansion pack) but they have all have come back to Ben's help. This is true of his choices too- Ben is constantly supporting/criticizing him. I'm so excited to see him alone and newly independent. (5/?)

YES SO MUCH. We watch Klaus shatter and regress completely in s2. I know a lot of people feel he wasn’t treated with respect by the narrative, and I respect that, but my general thinking is that this is a part of the whole, and everything we saw of him is in line with a) intense hurt b) the act he puts on. I think that Klaus shattered in s2. He killed the love of his life, he relapsed, and he did his best to make sure nobody cares about him. Ben turned into more of a harmful figure in his life than ever before, and now he’s lost him completely, left with only guilt, resentment, and complicated feelings.

I think Klaus is going to actually have to DEAL with himself. He’s been able to deflect or hide or bury his hurt and his power and everything else. Like you said, he relied on Ben for a lot, and now it is only him. I think he is going to externalize the chaos he feels inside (and so does Sheehan), and I think he is going to have to confront who Klaus REALLY is, whatever that means. I think he will admit he is powerful, he is hurt, and he is angry. Ultimately, I think this will lead to him with more balance, and he will have a better understanding of himself. But I think he MUST snap a bit first. Nobody takes him seriously, not even himself. He has to change that before he can move on.

6. How would you like to see Klaus' relationships with his siblings grow this season? I am wondering how him mourning Ben will be received by his siblings. I am also thinking a lot about whether him hitting rock bottom & truly alone for the first time will push him to be more vulnerable and open with his siblings OR if it'll be his breaking point where he shutters out everything he can, emotions and more OR a mix of both. (6/?)

This is a really good question. I’m not at all sure I have a definitive answer, but here I am typing anyway. I think the obvious setup of the first 2 seasons is that everyone thinks Klaus is fine, and that he can Manage, whatever that looks like. This includes Klaus. So my Most Fruitful Idea is to show that he isn’t fine, in a way he cannot hide. I feel like possession could be a good start to this, but so could him diminishing in his ability to respect ghosts, or many other things. Basically, I want the siblings to see through Klaus’s act. None of them, fucking none of them, ever have. He’s done his best to make that the case. I want the act to spread thin in s3, which I think is supported by how the act looks in s2, and I want the sibs to see through it finally, and I want it to be almost too late because he’s lost and angry and goddamn POWERFUL and he knows them in ways they have never known him.

Also, I like the idea of Klaus and Allison snapping together. They are the two who lack hope, the two who accept as a blanket the end of the world, the two who enable each other, and also the two who bonded with Vanya. Seeing them go down a dark path, and seeing Vanya recognize it and help them stray away from it? Amazing.

7. Any songs you would love to see in s3? (7/7) Sorry for the IMMENSE amount of questions, comments, and concerns, I have been pondering these things for weeks and since I always adore your tua content, I would love to hear your thoughts and any input from others!!

YES SO SO SO MUCH

I would love “Be True To Your School” by the Beach Boys because of the 60s and the irony factor. Any Bob Dylan song would send me to an early grave due to joy, but I’m gonna say especially “A Hard Rain’s A Gonna Fall” which is an incredible song about futility and trying and hurt. I also love the idea of ANY Masseduction by St. Vincent song, but I would especially nominate Masseduction, Young Lover, and Happy Birthday Johnny.

ALSO NO NO NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE AT ALL THIS WAS SOOOOOOOOOO FUN OH MY GOD do this any time (or come off anon and into my DMs I promise I’m friendly). Thank you so so much!!!

#The Umbrella Academy #Tua spoilers #klaus hargreeves #allison hargreeves #answered #FUCK

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ginnyweasleywannabe · 3 years

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Treasure Hunt Chapter 2

You can find Chapter 1 linked in my Masterlist

Chapter 2

Her plan to find Marc was off to a bit of a rough start. For starters, she didn’t actually know where Marc went and even if she did, she didn’t have a car to get there. Damn. Marlene liked to think of herself as an independent person but the more she thought about it, the more she was going to need help. She was brainstorming who to ask, she needed someone who would be willing to go on this kind of trip, someone who wouldn’t stop until they finished. She of course thought about asking James. He loved a good adventure, but he was about to start his season and training was taking all of his time. Her best friend from uni, Dorcas, was still in Glasgow and besides she loved Cas but the girl would quit if this thing got to out of hand. There was one person Marlene could think of. Dammit.

It was 8:30 and still raining, Marlene was barely noticing the rain, she had just knocked but she was wondering if she could still make a break for it, maybe he hadn’t heard the knock. She had decided that 30 seconds had been long enough and he wasn’t home so she could turn around, when the door swung open. Dammit. Again.

“Hel- lo?” Sirius Black opened the door with irritation. He wasn’t sure who could be at his door at 8:30, he knew the group was out for drinks and it was too early for any girls to be showing up. But he had to admit this was this last person he was suspecting. He quirked his eyebrow up as he finished his greeting.

“Marlene?”

Ok so Marlene hadn’t thought that far in advance. She had got the idea and her mind and immediately set it in motion, now she was standing at his door in the rain like a crazy person. Like the clingy girl he had made her feel like.

“Um Hi,” She tried to offer him a smile but it was more of a grimace. “I was hoping we could talk?” she then rushed out, “not about us! Um I have an issue, well a problem, a situation.” God this was already going so bad and he was just standing there. “ I brought beer” she held up a 6 pack with a sheepish smile. He was still just standing there, staring at her. “and its raining, Sirius.” She finally resolved herself and leveled him with a glare.

“Oh right! Sorry! Yeah come in!” He awkwardly held the door as she stepped into his studio.

Marlene looked around the place, he hadn’t changed anything, she was about to have made a full turn, she was taking it slow not quite ready to face him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a big black dog lunging at her. Quick to brace for impact, “Snuffles!!” she wrapped her arms around him., “oh I’ve missed you buddy!!”

Sirius had walked to the two giving them a slight eye roll, “I can’t believe you leveled my big English mastiff named Samson to that cuddly goob who answers to snuffles.”

“Yeah well that’s because he’s a big cuddle muffin! Yes you are! Yes you are!”

Sirius was just looking at his ex, he couldn’t possibly thing of why she would be here. They hadn’t talk once since their breakup. He wasn’t sure what to say, he still felt for the way he ended things but he didn’t like to think about it, better to avoid.

“So Marls, why are you here?” Sirius pursed his lips and braced himself for whatever way this could go.

Marlene looked up at him, she felt ten different emotions, “I hope I didn’t crash you twos bachelor night. I’ll give you a moment to text the flavor of the night and tell her you’re going to be delayed.” Ok so maybe Marlene wasn’t completely over the breakup.

Sirius let out a puff of air, “Alright time to crack open of those beers you brought, yeah?”

They both grabbed a beer and as nervous as Sirius was, Marlene seemed more, she had finished her can in one long gulp.

“So you’re probably wondering why I’m here, at your door, like the crazy clingy, ‘its getting too serious girl’” Sirius just stared, that was thing about Marlene- she always just said whatever came to here mind. “ok well you know my brother Marc” Her arms were flying around now, “Marc, tall, brown hair, permanent scowl, 6 foot 2-“

“Yes, Marlene, I know Marc, if you remember you forced all of us on an awful double date.”

“Yep. That’s the one! Well he found some old diary in the archives and he was following some lead about some old, well don’t make fun of me but treasure.” Marlene bit her lip in anticipation.

“Treasure?” Sirius raises his eyebrows, “what does that even mean?”

“Well you know the old wives tail about the lost items of the Hogwarts founders?”

Sirius knew they story, his whole family had gone to Hogwarts, just a gave her nod and waited to see where this was going.

“Well its real and Marc thinks, thought, he could find it. Anyway he left two weeks ago and he was supposed to return last night but he didn’t come home. And my graduation ceremony was today, he wouldn’t have missed it. Also he’s been texting me, Marc has been texting me. I’m starting to get worried.” Marlene’s worry for Marc showing on her face, “So I was think I would go after him and bonus if there is gold!”

“Marlene, I don’t mean to be rude but why are you here?” Sirius still wasn’t sure how this story was relevant to him, especially since he was under the impression was that she hated him. Or at least wanted nothing to do with him.

“Well the thing is I don’t think I can do it on my own, for one I don’t have car, and two I’m not sure what’s waiting out there for me.” God Marlene couldn’t believe she was having to ask Sirius for help, taking a big breath she knew she needed to do this for Marc, “I need your help.”

Well that was not the answer Sirius was expecting. He could see how much she didn’t want to ask him, why had she asked him?

“And you came to me for help because……?”

“Because you’re a greedy asshole.” Marlene said in a flat tone. “The thing is I need someone who is willing to go through whatever’s waiting out there for us if it means he’ll get something big in return. If you help me, you can have gold. All I want is the four lost treasures, for museums. …And James happened to mention you family was exactly funding you now that school is over so it could be helpful.”

Damn James and his big mouth. He looked at her, she was giving him big puppy dog eyes, she had the brightest blue eyes. She looked like a mix of nerves and hope.

“Please Sirius, its Marc. You know what it took for me to come to you. Besides, it could be a great adventure!” She was hoping to appeal to his mischievous side but she was starting to lose hope but then she saw him smirk…

Sirius couldn’t help it but she just looked so desperate, and he really did need the money.

“Alright McKinnon, let’s say it is real. Where would we start?” He said it in a teasing voice but Marlene was going to take it and run for it.

“We???” She said it with a big smile- one Sirius used to tell he loved and she had once told him it was reserved for only him. “Well we,” She waved a finger between them, “would start by going to Marcs office, he must have left some kind of note about where he was starting.”

Sirius gave her a small headshake, “Okay McKinnon, we’ll go to his office and if we find something that is actual hard proof and not your word. I’ll go.”

“Great! Let’s rock and roll” Marlene gave a bounce and started past him for the door.

Sirius put hand on her waist as she passed by, both of them ignoring the slight heat they felt. “Slow down there blondie, it’s almost 10 at night on a Saturday we can’t go right now.”

Marlene was pointedly trying to ignore that his hand was still on her waist and their faces close together. She would blame that mix of feeling in her stomach on her slightly tipsy state.

“Well duh, but I have a key to the artifacts department. So now.” She hesitated then said, “Unless you do have someone coming over.” There’s that weird dip in her stomach, “God you’re right we can just go in the morning.”

“No, no, I uh just didn’t know you had a key. We can go now.” Sirius didn’t know why he was so quick to correct her. Sure he had gone out with a couple girls since their spilt but he never went past a second date.

“Great.”

They both released some air and just shared a small smile. Marlene was the first to break eye contact. She pushed some hair behind her ear.

“Okay well the rain stopped so we can just walk.” God she was over him, that was the whole point of asking him so she could show everyone that she wasn’t hurt about what happened, they could co-exist. But even if just to herself, she could admit, he would always be that handsome guy she was first taken with in some ruddy pub.

Luckily the campus wasn’t far from Sirius’ place. The building was so old there wasn’t an elevator. The history and artifacts were on the fifth floor. The two we climbing the stairs. There was a loud creak from behind Marlene, she gave a sigh and an eye roll.

“Could you please try to be quiet, I know I have key but its technically Marcs spare so we can’t get caught.” She had turned her head around to glare at the ridiculously handsome in the moonlight boy a few steps behind her.

“Sorry McKinnon, I got distracted by the view” He gave her a wink and a cheeky smile.

Marlene rolled her eyes at him muttering perv under her breath as turned back around. Right as they reached the top of the stairs, there was a loud clang from the end of the dark hallway. Marlene let out a shriek, Sirius’ hands went out to her waist to stop her from falling back down the last stair he was on.

“What happened to being quiet, princess?” Sirius had step up on to the landing so he was whispering right behind her ear.

Marlene stepped away giving him a small glare and smoothed her shirt

“Are you still afraid of the dark?” He was trying hard not to smile

“I’m not afraid of the dark! I’ll have you know I’ve handled myself just fine with Marc gone. Besides, there are just a lot of old cursed things in this building, it can be spooky. And ghosts.”

Marlene turned on her heel and headed down the hall way. Sirius stopped holding back the smile he was trying to hide. He used to jump at the chance to be her hero, as he liked to think it, whenever Marc would go out of town. He always find it cute how jump she was. Those nights she would practically sleep on top of him. He missed it. Wait no. Sure it was nice but that was then, not now, not after he burned her.

He was watching her dig through Marcs desk. He honestly didn’t know why he did it, well he kind of knew the reason. The truth was when he and Marlene first started dating he was looking for a future. It was right after spending the holidays at the Potters and he saw what Mia and Monty had. He realized that marriage wasn’t the hallow imprisonment his parents had made it out to be. He wanted that someone who he knew he could always count on, not someone perfect but something at the end of it all it was worth it because you still had them.

Marlene and Marc had come to the Potters for Christmas dinner, she looked stunning. Well honestly she looked hot. He was surrounded in the best environment he had been in and she was adding to that. Things had changed after that Christmas and he pursued her. He was ready to get serious with her but then James bought a ring. James had bought a ring and Sirius was just ready to be officially exclusive. Seeing James talk about proposing was freaking him out, this was too much. Marlene had never pushed him but he just got freaked and called the whole thing off. Now he just avoided her if he could help it, it felt weird, like there was this underlying tension between them. He supposed there was they had never had a really talk about their breakup, it was just one day were serious and exclusive and then the next they were over and haven’t spoken since. Now he was here watching her dig around some old filing cabinets. Her blonde hair was almost a silver glow in the light coming from the window.

“Ah ha!” Marlene had pulled him from his thoughts, thoughts he shouldn’t be having.

She was scanning over some papers she had found, her tongue sticking out.

“Whatcha got there Sherlock?”

She didn’t even glance up at him, “It’s Marcs initial notes, it’s not much but here he mentions something about a town called Godric’s Hollow.”

“Who’s there?” The old groundskeepers voice rang.

“Shit, we need to move” Sirius pulled her into a closet. A rather small closet. They were standing face to face. Chest practically touching

“What are you-“ Marlene’s voice was cut off by Sirius’ hand clamping down over her mouth.

He tried to give her a stern shut the hell up face but she just licked his hand.

“Did you just lick me?” He said it with an angry whisper

“Oh nothing I haven’t done before” Marlene raised her eyebrows then, “I’ll just go out and show him my ID and it’ll be fine.”

“No. It will not be fine. Me and James have had loads of run-ins with old Filchy and he takes his job way too seriously.” Sirius was still whispering with a tone. Marlene just rolled her eyes, it had only been a few hours but she was going to be doing it a lot during this little adventure of theirs.

Sirius peaked through a small crack in the door, “Alright do you think you have enough? We should probably get out of here.”

Marlene gave him a nod and they emerged quietly from closet. Marlene gave a little shiver in the hallway, she hadn’t realized how warm they had gotten in the small closet. They quickly made their way down the stairs. Emerging from the building letting out puff of air.

They decided on walking back to Marlene’s, all while going over the notes she had found.

“It’s kind of a jumbled mess but he used a code. It was one we made up when I was little. He would make up little treasure hunts for me and James to on around the property. See this line

‘jrgulfv kdoorz’ if you take each letter and go to the letter 3 after it in the alphabet it spells Godric’s Hollow. I looked it up in my phone its some tiny town about 5 hours from here. He’s got some other random stuff that doesn’t quite make sense to me yet but I figure going there would be a good place to start.” The had made it to her door stop, she stepped up on to the first step, “We should get started in the morning, can you pick me up at 8?”

If Marlene was going to make him get up that early, he was going to give her a tease. He had remembered what she said earlier in the night, “You’re sure you don’t want me to stay the night McKinnon? I know how you can get when you’re alone.”

Sirius was giving her that teasing smirk, it used to always get her worked up but two could play at that game, “I’ll have you know I’ve been doing just fine on my own.” She said it in a voice that alluded that they were now talking about something other the being scared.

Sirius quirked an eyebrow, “Oh really?” He said slow, he was always happy to flirt with Marlene, especially about this topic.

Marlene leaned down to whisper in his ear, “Really, you see I’ve had some help.” Sirius face fell flat at that. Marlene smirked and leaned back a little, “It’s about this big,” She held her index fingers about 6 inches apart, “hot pink and battery operated.”

Sirius let mix of a puff of air and an attempt at a small laugh, Marlene just smirked. She knew she was getting him worked up. She leaned in again. She lowered her voice to her best sexy voice.

“I’ll admit, I’ve been lonely lately. It’ll be late at night and my mind will start to wander. And I just can’t help myself, slowly I’ll reach my hand down, God I’m already so wet. I touch myself and I started to get worked up, I’m almost there, I speed up, and then,” Marlene stood up straight and deadpanned her voice, “Sometimes I’ll think of you and it really kills my mood.” She gave him a pat on the shoulder turned around in walked up the steps. She turned over her shoulder and with a wink said “I’ll see you at 8, Sirius.” In the door she went.

Sirius was just standing at the bottom of the stoop, mouth parted. He rubbed his hand against the light stubble on his face, that girl was going to be the death of him.

#blackinnon #sirius x marlene #Treasure Hunt #marlene x sirius #marlius #my writing

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mrs-i-have-too-many-biases · 4 years

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Bang Chan// Sun and Moon (-light)// Chapter seven

Summary: Sun and Moon, different from another, but both unmissable in the world. The sun is warm, it provides daylight. It represents life, strength and growth. The moon, the brightest and largest object in our night sky. It makes the earth more liveable and represents admiration, change, mystery and feelings. The sun is untouchable and unreachable, but what if his ,independent, sun(-shine) becomes his world? Tropes: Enemies to Lovers Season: Spring Pairing: Bang Chan X Reader (ft. Seo Changbin) AU: | Delinquent!Female Reader | Vice President!Bang Chan | School!AU | Non!Idol AU | Genre: Fluff/ HEAVY Angst Word Count: 8,9K Warnings: HEAVY Themes of bullying, death threats, Themes of Abuse, swearing, insults, Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Self-hatred Requested: Yes, (Reference) A/n: For the sake of the fiction, Chan is a twat in the story (his mother is very unpleasant in the story/this chapter), but only for imagines/ fiction purposes only. We all know better than that. I have mentioned his real-life sibling’s names in this chapter/story. Please remember to not harass them.

Y/n was a little out of breath and her body hurt slightly as she entered Chan’s room. She sat down with a sigh, trying to take the situation in. “I’m so sorry I told my parents like that-“ “It’s okay, it probably will clear up some thing to them.” Y/n muttered as she made herself comfortable on his bed.

“I’m sorry for their behaviour, from before and about today.” “It’s okay, you know if you want me to go, I can go right now. I don’t want there to be a conflict between your parents and you because of me.” “There isn’t, really. Well at least not anymore. I just want them to see that you’re so much more than tattoos and a so called ‘delinquent image’.” Chan stressed as he sat down next to her. “Besides, you’re not leaving. I don’t trust you outside, especially not with all those fractures. God knows what you would be up to, going to work I bet and get back to working out. You need to get some rest and let me and the others help you.” He added. “You know that I’d be fine just on my own, don’t you Chan?” She said with a small smile. “I know, and that’s why I want to help you this time.”

Y/n was about to continue arguing against Chan, but something else seemed to catch her attention. Chan turned slowly around to see what she was looking at and noticed the pictures he had put up of them together. He immediately started to stutter out gibberish and frantically tried to hide them from Y/n sight, causing her to laugh at his flustered state.

“Oh my- It’s not what you think! I- fuck!” Chan stressed as he tried to slam the pictures off the shelves I panic, but he was quickly stopped by Y/n who held him by the arm as she laughed. “It’s fine, I’m just surprised. I’ve never seen those before?” She wondered with a smug look on her face. “I-I certainly do not hide them whenever you would’ve come over- what no?” He stuttered, making her burst out in laughter yet again. “You’re cute Channie.” She said with a smile, not admitting that she had pictures printed out of them together as well.

The two were interrupted hours later by Chan’s father who peeped his head through the doorway. “Dinner’s ready.” He announced, before disappearing again. Chan and Y/n quickly following behind.

Chan noticed the nervous look on Y/n face. He held her by the waist in a swift move, hugging her in a comforting way, her heart beating loudly at the sudden action. The whole family sat together, and Y/n couldn’t deny it, but it was awkward as hell. “Y/n, my husband and I want to apologise to you.” Chan’s mother voiced, breaking the silence finally. “We’ve acted needlessly rude to you and we truly regret out immature actions. I hope you can find a way to forgive us?”

“It’s okay Misses Bang. I know that you only want the best for you son. I understand and I respect that. It’s also that I’m quite used to being judged already. Especially since people don’t know my background story...” And so Y/n told the Bang family everything.

They were shocked and saddened to hear the words leaving her mouth. It all sounded like a terrible nightmare. But that terrible nightmare was her actual life, or at least was up to that day when Chan found her.

“I can’t thank him enough for finding me, I wouldn’t know what would’ve happened to me if he would’ve been later or not there at all.” Y/n muttered in a sad voice. “Let’s be glad that didn’t happen and celebrate that you’re still here with us. And Y/n, we are once again terribly sorry. We will try our best to make it up to you.” Chan’s father states with a kind smile, making her smile back.

A warm feeling was filling her body, a loving sense of family had returned to her. Something that had been long for too long.

“Chan really, I can carry my books myself.” Y/n whined as she stepped out of the car with Chan, chasing him as he carried two heavy bookbags in his arms. “No, the doctor told us crystal clear that you need someone to help you carry things. Your stiches could rip open if you aren’t careful.” Chan states seriously. She let out a whine before she followed him to the building.

The pair received lots of looks from other students. Bang Chan, the popular vice president hanging out with the delinquent, again? People just couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around it. They also couldn’t seem to keep their butts out of other people’s business. Minho had met up with Chan and Y/n in front of the school, where he had already complained about how many people had already run up to him, asking what the deal was between Chan and Y/n, because a poor student was thinking about confessing her love to Chan this week.

“Poor girl.” Y/n muttered. “I know right, Chan has always been ‘smothered’ with confessions, yet he never accepted one.” Minho had informed before getting a notebook thrown to his face in middle of class by Chan who sat right in front of him. Jisung laughed loudly, Y/n did as well as she watched the three from her usual spot in the back.

Sooyun just happened to walk into the room at the wrong, yet best, time. She was about to sit next to Chan, where she usually sat, but to her surprise he stood up.

“You two are annoying, I’m going to sit with Y/n, at least she’s nice to be around with.” He playfully huffs to Minho and Jisung before seating himself in the back.

Sooyun watched his movements like a hawk eyeing its prey. She was about to protest and get him sit back next to her, but Jisung had grabbed her by the hand and pulled her down to her seat, stopping her from doing so. She huffs and turns herself away from them. Her ears caught the sound of Y/n and Chan laughing together in the back of the classroom, talking about whatever. Jealousy rose back into her body as she clenched her fists in anger. She had to do something about this, but what?

Days at school went by and to Y/n’s surprise, people had started to feel for her. She didn’t know why. She had told her story to the principal, explaining why she often skipped school and why she missed classes the past few weeks. There was a promise that her story wouldn’t be made public among the students of other teachers, for Y/n’s privacy and safety purposes.

Eventually Y/n figured that the fellow students were probably nice to her, because Chan and his whole clique were. So, she must’ve become ‘okay’ in their eyes.

There still were a few rotten apples to be found in between the others. They made Y/n out to be a clout chaser, that she wanted popularity or something like’s Chan’s status, his money. People had become quite creative and even said that she apparently wanted to become Chan so she could live a life where people actually liked her.

Y/n ignored the comments and never said anything about them. Especially since she believed that Chan had neve heard them, yet he did. He would look to his side as the whispers kept on going. She smiled at him and shot him a wink, a sign that she was okay. He wondered how she did it. How she handled with such people. It broke his heart to think that she used him. He knew she didn’t.

He wished they would had made an agreement, whenever she would argue that she could just go and stop bothering him, he would receive a thousand won from her. Chan would’ve been even richer by now if that was the deal.

In the meantime Chan wasn’t the only one who kept staring at Y/n, wondering how she did it. Sooyun could’ve been a character in Shrek by now, the green toxic tinting her from jealousy. She had enough of it. Y/n’s sudden gain of popularity, Chan’s attention and everything else she had been working years on to achieve. And here Y/n was, snatching it all away from her within days.

And so, suddenly. Y/n’s life turned upside down, once again. Y/n would walk into the school one day and receive the old nasty stares from everyone again. People bumped into her intentionally, making her hiss in pain, her body still not being completely healed. Chan yelled after them, the quickly asking if she was okay. “I’m fine.” She would mutter back. When they entered the room, a bunch of girls would pull Chan away from Y/n, leaving the both stunned. “What are you doing? Get off me.” Chan glared as he tried to shake the girls’ hands off. “Chan, you need to stay away from her.” “She’s not who you think she is.” The other cried out as they continued to pull them further away from Y/n.

“What are you talking about?” Y/n sighed as she crossed her arms, still in pain. “Don’t act so innocent bitch. You know fully well what you did.” A girl said as she shoved her phone in Y/n’s face. There was a news video playing on her screen. The colour seemed to leave Y/n’s skin as she watched how a journalist talked about her life, her story with her father. She was exposed, but something wasn’t right.

‘… we’re informed from a secured source, that y/l/n, a y/age girl, has drinking problems, abused her father and even thrown him in rehab when she should’ve been the one needing detoxifying…’

“They changed the story. That’s not true-“ Y/n was cut off by the pictures she was shown, also shown in the video that was still playing. They were pictures of her father, bruises all over his body and passed out on the ground. Y/n had seen her father drunk plenty of times, when he was drunk, he could easily hurt himself. She remembered that day, but she just couldn’t figure out how that picture was taken.

“How did this happen.” Y/n murmured to herself in shock. “Just admit it, your true colours are out. We’ve always known that you were nothing but a dense delinquent.” The girl spat, a sly smirk following next. “You know nothing.” Y/n snarled back, stepping closer to the girl. “What were you going to do? Hit me? I think it would be a great addition to your abuse-story, make people hate you more than they already do.” The same girl snarled, a witch-like laugh following.

Y/n turned to Chan in panic, but he was still struggling to get the girls off him.

As soon as Y/n had stepped out of the classroom she was once again swarmed by girls who were ready to protect Chan from her.

Their filth were getting to her head and the boys eventually came into the picture to defend her, but no one seemed to believe them or her. “She must’ve been lying to all of you, it’s all over the news. Every drama channel is talking about it as well.” “This is absurd, you believe those rumours, but not the person who the story is actually about?” “Why should we believe her lies? She’s dysfunctional, she always has been. Besides Sooyun told us that Chan told her himself.”

The words made Y/n’s head take a toll. “He did what now?” Y/n hissed anger firing up her heart. “Oh, please. Don’t pretend you didn’t know. You probably did all of this to get attention, didn’t you? To get Chan to like you and his little friends, well believe us it didn’t work. It’s for the best that Chan has put you back in your place, you’re an awful human being, you shouldn’t be allowed to walk around on earth. You’re not even fucking worthy to be breathing the same air as us-“ Y/n quickly pushed the girls aside when Sooyun was locked into her vision. “You! What the fuck did you do!” Y/n yelled as she stormed her way to Sooyun. “I didn’t do anything.” She said with a wicked smile. Y/n was holding back her tears as she wanted to rip that devilish smile off her face.

Felix would try to calm Y/n down, but he couldn’t stop her from talking as she yelled at Sooyun. “Y/n, sweetheart, here you are blaming me, but aren’t you the one who told Chan everything? He’s the one who gave me the information. How else would people know. You sure as hell didn’t tell me in person.” Sooyun states, which sets Y/n to think. It couldn’t have been Changbin, he didn’t know Sooyun. She didn’t tell Felix, Minho and Jisung anything with deep detail, yet Chan knew everything about her. There were even pictures taken of her passed out father. It seemed too bad to be true. It couldn’t be, right?

To Chan’s inconvenience, he walked right into the conversation at the wrong time. He looked at the two girls in confusion as he was stared at by the both. “Chan, did you…” Y/n couldn’t seem to get the words past her throat, but Sooyun seemed glad to steal the words from her mouth. “Chan, you were the cause of all of this, weren’t you?” Sooyun states, making him shot his head towards her in shock and confusion. “N-no, what are you talking about- Y/n I would never-“ “How do people know about all of this then? It’s told into detail, things I haven’t even told Changbin were exposed in that fucking clip. Explain that! I can’t believe this-“ Y/n cried out in frustration, feeling stupid for ever trusting him at all. “I should’ve known better.” “I’m sorry to say this Y/n, but Chan never seemed to actually care about you.” Sooyun snarled.

“Haven’t you said enough.” Y/n hissed to the girl in front of her. “I’m just saying, Chan never stood up for you whenever someone talked trash about you. We went on dates together and the things he said about you weren’t pretty-“ “Hold on- I never said anything-“ “But you never argued against them either, if you really cared about that poor girl, you would’ve defended her, wouldn’t you?” She said, trying to hold back a smirk as everything seemed to go just as she wished. “Y/n, please, don’t believe her.” Chan begged. “No, she’s right. Months ago, you wouldn’t even look at me, why would you now. I can’t believe how foolish I am to believe you.” Y/n sighed, she felt betrayed and just couldn’t look him in the eye right now.

She quickened her pace and ran out of the building, Chan was about to follow her, wanting to set things right, because this sure as hell wasn’t. He was held back by the same girls, who tried to make him seem that she wasn’t worth it and whatever filth they were trying to fill his mind with.

Y/n had been running for over thirty minutes by now, her hood covering her face as she made her way across the city. Her bones hurt, her arms felt like they were being ripped open as she rushed through the crowd, bumping into people constantly and receiving dirty looks from them as she ran past them.

She didn’t know if it was because they might had seen the video, or if they already knew her by her old reputation. Y/n finally made it to the parlour and stormed inside, completely ignoring Hyunjin who looked at her shocked when he saw he walk in. “Y/n, where’s Chan? Shouldn’t you be at school- what’s wrong? Are you crying- Y/n!” He called after her as paced to Changbin’s wing of the parlour. He jumped in surprise when he heart the curtains being ripped open. The smile on his face quickly dropped when he saw Y/n’s broken state and he rushed to her side to hold her close but carefully.

Her body being like glass to him that had been shattered too many times, put back together and on the edge of being broken again.

“…I never should’ve trusted him.” Changbin understood in-between the sobs that came from Y/n. “Who? Who hurt you? What’s going on? Why aren’t you with Chan? What happened?” Changbin had held Y/n face into his hands as she kept on crying, the tears rolling over his tattooed hands. Y/n murmured in-between her cries the explanation of what happened at school earlier.

Changbin was furious, he was planning of giving Chan a piece of his mind, he didn’t care that he was at school or at home, this was just sick. But for now, he needed Y/n to calm down. He felt her heart racing through her chest as he held her close. He sat her down and hugged her as she rubbed her back. The pain she must be feeling right now were probably unbearable, so he sussed her to sleep and asked Hyunjin to keep an eye on her as he went out to look for Chan.

Changbin didn’t had to look for long to find Chan as he was at home. Changbin rather punched the door than knocked, before the door swung open. “Bin! I’m so glad you’re here! I can’t find Y/n, I’ve looked everywhere-“ Chan was cut off by a punch that was thrown to his jaw and he stumbled back into his apartment. Changbin followed him in and grabbed him by the collar before throwing another punch to his ‘friend’s’ face. “What was that for!” “Who the fuck do you think you are Bang Chan! What is your bloody deal?” Changbin yelled as he shook Chan in anger, still holding him by the collar. “She went to you, didn’t she?” Chan asked, feeling slightly relieved.

“She did, and I’m glad she did. She came to me crying after all this time. Do you know when the last time was when I saw her cry?” Changbin snarled. “Never, because I don’t make her cry Bang.” “Listen! It’s not what you think! I’m being set up!” Chan cried out. “Sure you are, is this why you want Y/n to be with you these past few weeks. You never like her anyway. Y/n always complained about this vice president who just couldn’t stop harassing her with harsh words and nasty looks. Why should I believe you? I bet you wanted to ruin her all along-“ “I never- no, no! That’s not true!” Chan yelled.

“There’s no reason why I should believe you over the girl who has come crying to me, spilling her heart out on how everyone hates her again.” The fight went on for longer, they exchanged punches and eventually they were panting as they stood in front of each other again, yelling at one another with a black eye and bleeding lips.

“And who the fuck do you think you are! You act like you’re the only who cares about her!” Chan yells. “Well I do care about! I actually do and I show it! I have her trust unlike you!” “What do you think you’re her boyfriend or something?” Chan yelled. “Why do you care? Are you in love with her or something?” Changbin snarled back, leaving Chan stunned in silence.

The silence said enough for Changbin to figure out how it is. “What, you think you can fucking do this and confess your love to her right after-“ “I told you already that I’m being set up!” Chan yells in anger. “Sure buddy, at least she trusts me. You know she does. She comes back running to me every time you mess up. And how many times have that been by now?”

Chan was still panting, but he didn’t know what else to say. He messed up a lot. He wanted to make everything right, but this just made everything worse than it should be, he didn’t understand how this all happened anyway. His mind was blurry and he was confused, because he had his priorities set on Y/n.

“Changbin please-“ “Do you really think I will bring you to her? To break her heart once again after you had your way with it. To ‘confess’ to her and play games with her mind again. I thought not so, buddy.” “Changbin please, I do-“ “I bet I could confess to her right now and she would be with me. I’ve been her friend for the longest time, my parents already thought it would be time for us to step it up. People already think we’re a couple, why not put the title on our relationship?” Changbin snarled.

“Maybe, I should just confess my love to her.” Changbin added as he almost threatened Chan.

Chan felt his heart break and he dropped down on his knees. The tears were flowing down his cheeks and soon past his fingers as he hid his face in his hands. “Bin, please. I love her so much. My heart is in constant pain because of her. Not because she hurts me, but because she has been so good to me. She’s so different, so special. I-I don’t know how to describe it. She’s breath-taking, she’s so much more I could ever wish for in someone. My parents want me to be with a snob rich kid, who only cares about her reputation and the numbers on her bank account. They want me to think about my status and push my feelings aside. I can’t help it Bin, I love her. I love her so much. The past month I’ve felt so free with her. She has no expectations for me, she doesn’t expect me to pay for everything. She always fought me whenever I did, she’d argue with me that she could buy things herself, because ‘she’s an independent woman’.” Chan chuckles as he leaned back on the couch behind him.

“My parents don’t like her, because they can’t see past her appearance. It’s sad. They don’t experience, they don’t see the beauty that she carries. She’s so kind, she’s funny, she makes my heart race and make me do dumb things. Like, skipping school to go on a trip. I have to say that it was the best day of my life, that’s for sure. I’m just an idiot for being such a fool.” Chan cried out.

Changbin sighed as well and sat down next to Chan. “I had a feeling you might’ve been in love with her.” Changbin admitted. Chan looked surprised to his side and eyed Changbin, who ended up bursting into laughter. “If you keep asking about her, then you aren’t playing it off to well mate.” Changbin chuckled, causing Chan to blush.

“Let me tell you another thing about Y/n. You’ve got to know her well up until now and apparently you did a pretty good job doing it since she opened up to you. If you want her to like you, the way you like her. Just be there for her and support her through her hardships.” Changbin’s words causes Chan to burst out in tears again. “I tried! But I keep messing up. I fucked up so many times, where I knew I should’ve been there for her or should’ve stood up for her, but I didn’t.” Chan cried out.

Changbin sighed and got back on his feet. He offered his friend a hand and Chan smiled as he took it. A couple minutes later, they were cleaning their wounds and kept talking together. “Chan, how did you end up in this mess?” Changbin asked softly. “I don’t know man, first thing I know is that I was smiling and laughing with Y/n, then next thing I know. I’m being ripped away from her by some other kids and following that, Y/n running away from the scene.” Chan sighed. “Y/n is really worn off, she ran all the way from school to my parlour. Eyes red from crying and in a lot of pain, I thought her wounds weren’t healed yet.” Changbin states. “They aren’t.” Chan cried out in frustration, guilt and sadness taking over his body.

The boys were interrupted by Changbin’s phone, Hyunjin had texted him. Saying that he had brough Y/n to Changbin’s apartment due to her request.

Chan read along with Changbin and was glad that Y/n was safe.

Changbin sighed once again after pulling his hoodie back over his head, done with cleaning his wounds. “You need to fix this, I don’t know how or where to start, but you need to.” Changbin states. “I know.” Chan let out a whimper, feeling like crying again. “Hey, it will be alright. I’ll make sure she’s okay and I’ll help you figure this out.” Changbin promises. “Really? Aren’t you mad at me?” “I am still a little fired up, but something isn’t right. I can feel it. Besides, I can tell you truly feel for her, I appreciate that you opened up to me.” Changbin voiced in honesty. “So, you aren’t going to…” “No, I’m not going to confess. I was just furious in the moment. I’m sorry.” “No, I am. Thank you Bin.”

When Changbin arrived home, he went to look for Y/n. He panicked a little when he didn’t find her in her room. He ran to his own room, only to find Y/n sound asleep on his bed, Gyu tightly wrapped in her arms. He sighed in relieve and went to lay next to her.

A couple days later, Chan went out for a walk. His jaw still hurt from the punch, he well deservingly, got from Changbin the other day. It was already late and it started to get dark outside. Chan mindlessly revisited the spot where he and Y/n had their first ‘date’ together.

Memories flashed beyond his eyes as he saw the exact spot where they took pictures together. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he remembered the way she laughed at his lame jokes, how she lit up when she ate his food and enjoyed each other’s company. He remembered holding her in his arms as they danced slowly in the middle of the park, not giving a damn if someone was watching.

His pleasant revisits of memories were cut off by the slurs of a drunken man who wandered around the park. Chan ignored the man, not wanting to be involved into any type of trouble. Unfortunately, the man thought otherwise.

He started to yell and shout around and eventually his eyes caught Chan and decided to stumble his way, rather quick, towards him. Chan noticed the bottle of liquor and a piece of paper in the man’s hand as he caught up to Chan. “You,” the man started. Chan wanted to gag by the disgusting smell of alcohol filling his sense that came from the man. “You look familiar kid.” The man slurred. “I’m sorry sir, I have no idea who you are.” Chan said quickly whilst his eyes looked for someone to help him, but no one seemed to be out at this hour.

“You! You’re this kid!” The man slurred out loudly as he waved a paper, which seemed like a picture, into Chan’s face. Chan’s heart dropped when he recognised the picture. It was a picture of him and Y/n from their first date. “Y-you’re Y/n’s father-“ “I sure as hell am! And you are the piece of shit who brought me into that hell hole! Taking my daughter away from me and daring to involve into our businesses!” The man screamed as he dropped the paper and filling his hand with the collar of Chan’s jacket.

“Sir, please I don’t want any trouble.” Chan begged. “Too bad buddy. You shouldn’t have interfered into our business. You should’ve left your stuck-up ass in one of your little penthouses.” Chan to get away from the man, before anything bad could happen. But Y/n’s father’s grip seemed to be stronger than he thought. “Sir, please let me go-“ “Nah, I have to show this rich city boy what the consequences are like when you ruin my life.”

Chan closed his eyes shut and prepared himself for what was coming, only remembering a piercing pain and darkness taking over him.

“Y/n, Y/n wake up.” Changbin yelled in a whisper as he shook her awake. She groaned in annoyance and pushed him off. “Just five more hours.” Y/n groaned as she hid her head under her pillow. “Y/n it’s an emergency, Chan’s in the hospital.” The words made Y/n shot up. She felt confused, because she didn’t know how to feel about him at the moment, but something inside of her told her to go. “Put on a hoodie and let’s go.”

Y/n and Changbin arrived at the hospital, only to see Chan’s parents and siblings in their pyjama’s as they waited nervously. Chan’s mother was hysterically crying, Lucas and Hannah were tiredly sitting back in their seat, pacing back and forth in anxiousness.

Y/n made eye contact with the mother who immediately pointed violently to her as she started to cry out to her. “You! This is your fault! You’re the reason he’s in the hospital isn’t it?” She yelled as she was being held back by her husband, who quickly argued against his wife alongside the kids. “Honey, this isn’t her fault. The doctor said Chan was attacked by a drunk man.” “D-do you perhaps know what he looked like?” Y/n asked carefully. “No, but he’s send back to rehab, apparently he escaped somehow.” Chan’s father explained, causing Y/n to stumble back. “Y/n, you don’t think that your…” Changbin whispered, not daring to finish his sentence. “I-I hope not. If he has found Chan, he could find me-“ “I wouldn’t let that happen Dumpling, you know that. You’re safe with me.” Changbin assured as he hugged her, whilst they all waited for the results from the doctor.

Which finally came in after forty minutes of waiting. Hannah and Lucas had fallen asleep, too tired from waiting since it was quite late already. “…your son will be fine mister and misses Bang. I do have to inform that he apparently has been hit by a glass bottle and is unconscious right now. We don’t know when he will wake up, but we are sure to keep a close eye on him. You can see him now, direct family first please.”

Y/n could hear the worried cries from his parents coming from the room as she and Changbin still waited. Changbin voiced that he felt guilty for beating his friend up. Y/n admitted that she didn’t know yet how to feel about Chan yet. If she even wanted to be there, especially after what Chan did to her. “Y/n, I understand that you have hard feeling towards him right now, but do consider that there is something wrong. Something just doesn’t add up.” Changbin states, setting Y/n to thinking.

Days had passed and Chan still hadn’t awakened from his unconscious state. She had seen how hard it had been for his parents and she truly hoped that Chan would wake up soon. Y/n also had been thinking about what Changbin had told her the other day, but it just makes her even more confused than that she already was.

‘He’s so nice, he has been for the past months, why would he do this?’ She questioned herself as she walked towards the hospital, wanting to visit Chan. ‘Chan hasn’t always been nice to me though, why would he become nice to me all of the sudden? Was it an act since he was forced to tutor me? Or did he actually mean everything he said- this better not be a fucking bet or I will throw him back into his hospital bed as soon as he’s able to leave it.’ Y/n growled in her mind as she now stomped her way to the hospital.

“Y/n, calm down. There must be something going on, like Binnie said.” She said to herself, before she took a deep breath and entered the building.

When Y/n arrived at Chan’s room, she wasn’t surprised to see his mother there. She had been staying there for the past couple days, not wanting to leave her oldest son alone, especially at a time of vulnerability. She shot Y/n a side eye when she entered the room.

“Hello misses Bang.” She said politely as she bowed for her. “Y/n.” She sighed as she focused on her son again. Y/n looked at the monitor that kept track of his heartbeats, which seemed mostly steady. “How is he doing?” Y/n tried to ask, but not receiving an answer from the woman in front of her.

Chan’s mother would sigh after a period of silence and turn herself to Y/n with a serious look on her face. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough.” She sighed, causing Y/n to become angry. “I’m sorry, but I’m tired of this. With all the respect, but you keep pretending as if this is all my fault, when you sure as hell know that it is not.” Y/n snapped. “If my son never interfered with you and your issues, none of this would’ve ever happened.” She cried out in frustration. “First of all, Chan and I were both forced together by our principal who made him tutor me. And besides that, don’t you think I know that. Because my drunken dad had to escape and somehow find Chan, he’s hurt. Don’t you think that I think this is all because of me? If you don’t you are pretty dense.” Y/n snarled.

“I think it’s time for you to leave.” His mother said calmly as she took her son’s hand into hers. “Fine, I’ll go. But I just want to make sure that you know that, Chan means a lot to me. You’ve raised one hell of a son. He’s absolutely amazing. He’s sweet, caring, charming and humble. You re lucky to have a son like him. I know you don’t like me ma’am, I’m aware of it, but I love that guy. So much. I don’t even know what to do with my feelings since I know you would never accept me and my ‘issues’. Everything I’ve told you and your family is true ma’am and Chan helped me through a lot of them. And I love him for that, more that you could ever know.” Y/n said as tears stream down her face. Both of their faces turned to the monitor when Chan’s heart skipped a beat, before Y/n continued to rant.

“I know I’m not perfect and that I never will be, that’s why I respect your request and I’ll leave as soon as I’m done ranting, but just know this ma’am. There’s much more to me than the tattoos and old stories that belongs with my past. He was focused on who I am today and saw good in me. Something not a lot of people notice in me.”

Chan’s mother looked at Y/n stunned and surprised. She would’ve never guessed such meaningful words coming out of Y/n’s mouth. She gulped loudly and tried not to show how Y/n’s words had moved her to tears.

“I’ll get going then, goodbye ma’am.” Y/n whispered, before she bowed and left. Her heart aching as she just admitted to someone other than herself, her feelings for Chan.

During her rant the two women didn’t know Chan could hear everything the two said. He felt like he couldn’t move, his body was numb and uncontrollable. His heart sped up in panic when he heart her leaving.

Before she exited the room, he could make out a whisper. “No… stay…” His mother, who was now alone with him again in the room, shot her attention to her son, who also managed to squeezed the hand he was holding slightly. His mother thought he was talking to her, when in reality Chan was begging in his mind for Y/n to come back. For her to confess her love to him over and over again, that’s all he wanted to hear. He wanted to see her again, he wanted to tell her that he loved her too.

“Don’t worry Channie, I’m right here.” His mother said as she kissed her son’s hair. Chan was glad she was there, but all he wanted right now, was Y/n to be by his side.

His mother knew better though. She knew the words were meant for Y/n. She had observed her son and had of course seen the pictures of the two in Chan’s room when she went to bring him his freshly washed clothes. She was shocked at first to see her son and this trouble maker of a girl together, but she couldn’t lie to herself. She saw how happy her son seemed with Y/n. She has at least never seen pictures of Chan and Sooyun together in Chan’s room.

That was one of the moments where she realised that Y/n was something special that Chan was planning on keeping close to his heart. When Chan brought Y/n home almost every day, she started to feel scared and thought that her son might take things too fast and he should reconsider his other possibilities.

But it seemed like Chan had already made his choice. She brushed her son’s hair as she looked down at him and knew that he had it all figured out already.

Well, most of it.

After calling in sick for a week at school, she was now forced again to attend classes. And yet again, there were students blaming Y/n for Chan’s injuries and him ending up in the hospital. Y/n had been doing quite well with ignoring all of them.

“I’m surprised you aren’t put in jail yet. That’s where you belong.” “Don’t say that. You’re insulting the prisoners when you compare them to that.” Another girl said as she nodded toward Y/n, laughing annoyingly right after.

As Y/n had been continuing to go to school, everything seemed to go downhill for her. The three boys couldn’t seem to cheer her up. They did manage to make everyone back off and leave her alone, but it wasn’t enough for Y/n.

She looked so depressed and it broke their hearts. They were confused as well, but they knew this wasn’t the Y/n they had always known. The Y/n they knew was strong, independent and could shine as bright as the sun whenever she was happy or in her own habitat. The Y/n who sat in front of them was laying her hear on the table as it rested on her arm. Her glow seemed to be gone and they wanted nothing more than to fix it for her.

One day, Y/n would call in sick anyway, saying that her body still hurt too bad, making up the excuse or else the school wouldn’t let her stay in. Changbin didn’t know this and was surprised once again to see his best friend arrive at the parlour. Hyunjin noticed Y/n gloominess and called Changbin in as soon as he could.

Changbin’s heart broke and brought her to his wing where they could talk. Hyunjin decided to give the two some space and went out to do so. “What’s wrong?” Changbin asked carefully as he took her hands in his. “I-I can’t do this anymore Bin.” She sobbed in front of him, her body shaking from exhausting, not only physically but also mentally.

“W-what do you mean? Please Dumpling, talk to me.” Changbin’s voice was shaking in fear as he suspected the worse. “I don’t want to go on Bin, I can’t do this anymore. Everyone hates me. Everyone is against me and I’m ruined. Why does everyone hate me? Why always me? I hate myself so much Changbin. Chan is in the hospital because of me, my dad is in rehab and was probably looking for me. He hates me as well. Maybe I should listen to everyone and just-“

“Don’t you fucking say that!” Changbin yelled out as he stood up with tears streaming down his face as his heart broke, piece by piece. “But Bin-“ “No! I won’t let you. I will fucking end myself if you ever try to end your life! You don’t want that right?” “That’s just mean Bin.” She whispers whilst looking up to him with tears-filled eyes.

“And this isn’t? Think about how much pain I’d be in if you ever leave me. I was already in so much pain when I was in Japan and I couldn’t be with you. Fucking hell, I even hired Felix to keep an eye on you, because I needed to know how you really were. Please. I love you, you’re my best friend. I can’t live without you, you’re my better half, you’re my partner in crime and I can’t afford to lose you. Besides, I know there is someone, who I can’t name, but this person loves you so much. I can’t even explain how much this person loves you. Please Y/n, will you promise to stay?” Changbin cried out, causing Y/n to cry out as well.

Changbin sat down next to her and brought her into his arms as they cried their hearts out together, “I’m sorry Binnie.” She sobbed into his shoulder, hugging him tighter. “It’s alright Dumpling, you’re safe as long as you’re with me. And I promise you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Meanwhile, at the hospital Chan had finally awaken to everyone’s joy. He groaned out loudly when he opened his eyes for the first time in days. His head was pounding, his chest hurt and he felt a weird tube in his nose that he assumed was to feed him, so he wouldn’t die of hunger. He couldn’t remember much, everything seemed like a vague dream.

His mother would swaddle him as soon as the doctors said she could, after they had finished their check-ups. “Where’s Y/n?” He’d ask eventually. “Goodness dear, think about yourself for a second. You’re the one who’s hospitalized.” His mother argued as she tucked him in. “Mom, seriously, how is she.” When his mother chose to ignore him, he got mad. “Just forget about her Chan, think about your health.” She scoffs, only making Chan angrier. “No! I’m done with you and dad always deciding for me what to do or who to be!” His mother was surprised by her son’s reaction. “All my life you have been planning my future, not even giving me a chance to think or speak for myself! I’ve always pleased you! By winning all my competitions I attended, all my grades are better than others. You made my life an actual competition and I’m done with it! I get that you want me to think about myself, but from now on I’m done listening to you two. I have a voice of my own and I won’t let the two of you decide for me anymore. I’m a young adult for God’s sake!” Chan exclaimed in frustration.

“I get that you and dad are looking out for me, but once I fall in love with someone, I just feel like you want to ruin that for me. Because you want me to be with a shitty snob who only cares about money and her status. I have better things to do than think about the numbers on my bank account and how my hair looks. I want someone who’s interesting, who has a deep personality, someone I could talk to in the middle of the night about anything and everything.” Chan sighs as he sat back, looking away from his mother as he tried to calm down.

His mother knew her son was right and sighed as she tried to stroke his cheek in comfort. “We’ll talk about this at home, okay?” “No! Stop ignoring this! You know I’m right!” Chan yelled as he sat up. “Channie, please lay back down.” His mother almost begged. “All I’m asking was how she was! I get that you hate her, but just answer the bloody question. I already have no idea what the hell happened to me. I only know the things you all told me and I don’t know who to believe anymore! She hasn’t visited me at all and that might be my own fault, but she’s still healing mom. Someone needs to help her out. I just want to make sure she’s alright, okay.” Chan cried out.

His mother sighed and stood up and left the room for now, knowing Chan needed some time alone. She saw how upset he was, almost heartbroken that she hadn’t visited him. She couldn’t help but feel guilty for sending Y/n away every time she came to visit him.

Chan laid back in his bed and he felt like crying. He was just so worried about her. He couldn’t help it. Eventually Chan would realise that she would be safe at Changbin’s. He sighed and felt envious that he was able to be with Y/n, whilst he was stuck in his hospital bed. Chan would look to his side and pick up his phone before he scrolled through is gallery. Deciding to revisit the happy memories before he fell back asleep.

“Chan, Channie wake up there’s someone here to see you.” A familiar voice woke him up before he fully opened his eyes, unsurprisingly his mother came into his vision. Still feeling angry with her he turned away from her, causing her to sigh. “Fine, you don’t have to look at me. I guess I deserve that. But at least look at her when you talk to her.” She mutters, still pressing a kiss on her son’s hair through his protest.

Chan looked away from his mother to see Y/n standing at the end of his bed, a small smile plastered on her face as she looked at him. She looked better, still tired and a little bruised, but her wounds definitely healed well. Chan was startled at her presence and shot up in his bed. Feeling a little embarrassed as well since he probably looked like a mess. “I’ll be down in the cafeteria if you need me.” Chan’s mother states before she exited the room, leaving Chan and Y/n alone.

Chan tried to find the right words to say, but was quickly interrupted by the tears that suddenly flowed down Y/n’s face. “Hey, hey! What’s wrong?” Chan asks as he mentioned to her to sit beside him. “I’m sorry, none of this would’ve ever happened if-“ “No, don’t cry. This isn’t your fault.” Chan assured as he brought her in his arms. “But-“ “No buts, this isn’t your fault, none of this is. I’m fine Sunshine, I’m not going to lie, I missed you.” He chuckled, causing her to burst out in laughter as well as she tried to stop her crying.

“I missed you too.” She pulled away from him and caressed his cheeks as she looked at him. “Are you okay?” She asked him as she realised that she was actually with him in the hospital. “I am, don’t worry. I’ll be back on my feet in no time.” He chuckled as he leaned into her hand affectionately, also couldn’t help but feel like she was the cutest being in the world right now. “How have you been? Do your arms still hurt?” Chan asks as she inspected them. “They healed well. Felix and the others have helped out a lot. I owe them one, I promised them to make them something ‘scrumptious’ when everything calms down a little.” She said with an awkward chuckle, but was surprised to hear Chan burst out in laughter.

“Where did you get the word ‘scrumptious’ from?” He wheezed. “Trust me, ever since you’re gone, Jisung and Minho have been fighting on who is smarter and they had this vocabular battle. I picked up some of the words after laughing my ass off.” She giggled. “I’m glad they’re good to you.” Chan sighs in relief.

“I’m glad too.” Y/n said before the two sat in silence for a period of time, not later being broken by Y/n who nervously asked Chan what happened to her dad. “I heard that he was brought back to rehab, but a stricter one with more security and supervisors.” “I-I’m scared Chan, I know he was looking for me. I-I should’ve been more careful, you wouldn’t be in pain right now.” She cried again. “Don’t cry, you’re safe with me. I promise.” Chan whispers as he hugged her tight.

She relaxed into his touch and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He had his hands on both of her cheeks and she leaned into his touch, just like he did minutes ago. She was stunning to him, even if she had cried her eyes out only seconds before. Chan felt like he had to tell her, it was now or never. He sat up and leaned closely towards her as he kept staring deep into her eyes. “What?” She giggled in a whisper, feeling flustered by the sweet smile he was sending her.

Chan’s heart was racing, the words were on the tip of his tongue and he felt like he left his sanity and mind in cloud nine. “I like you.” He whispered. Y/n was taken back by his confession and leaned back in surprise, looking at him in expectation of him to tell her that he was joking. “What?” She asks him again. “I like you Y/n. I’ve had feelings for you for some time now.” He admitted with a smile plastered on his face.

Y/n’s heart was racing, but unfortunately not because she was happy. “Don’t say that. Don’t say things you don’t mean.” She stuttered, feeling her heart increasing beats per second. “What do you mean? Y/n-“ “I have to go.” She murmurs as she got off the bed, anxiety overtaking her esteem as she picked up her pace.

A nurse had walked in the middle of the scene, obviously not knowing what was going on and was surprised when she saw Y/n run past her, out of the room. Chan was ready to jump out of bed and run after her, but the nurse had other plans. She ordered him to get back into bed since he wasn’t fully recovered yet and it could do major damage to his body.

In the cafeteria Chan’s mother spotted Y/n running through the building with tears streaming down her face. She got up and wanted to catch up to Y/n, but she was too quick and eventually disappeared in the crowd. She hurried to Chan’s room where she found her son crying. She asked him what happened and Chain explained through his sobs that he had confessed to Y/n. Chan felt heartbroken and confused.

“I don’t get it mom, why would she react that way?” Chan sobbed softly as he looked at his mother with big, teary eyes. “I don’t know honey, maybe she’s scared. She has lost quite some loved ones already. She might be scared to have her beloved close in her life. We don’t know honey.” She mutters as she rubbed her son’s back.

Chan immediately felt a wave of guilt washing over him and started to cry out harder. “I should’ve been more sensitive. I didn’t realise that. I should’ve been more careful.” Chan cried. “There, there. Don’t worry love, the two of you will be fine. I know you will. Besides, you have always been caring, especially towards her. From what I’ve seen?” She chuckles. “She will turn by honey, trust me.” She added, before pressing another kiss on her son’s head.

She knew that Y/n felt the same way as the son did, but it wasn’t her job to tell him that.

Gif isn’t mine

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achtung-attitude · 3 years

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CHAPTER 42: Smooth Criminal - Part 3

The siblings lived off the grid for four years, scrounging their way through adolescence, making their way through acts of petty crime. As the War on Terror turned sour and the world’s finances crashed into global recession, Knowles and Toto each developed into hardened criminals in their own right.

By the time Knowles was 18, as well as dealing drugs, the two siblings were robbing banks, with Toto scouting and planning the heists, while his sister used her talent for violence to commit the acts. Together, they had an almost flawless record of success.

Despite this, Toto clung to his vices, spending as much time as he could high on marijuana. One night, Knowles returns to their then-residence, a disused and abandoned building in Watts, to find her brother in his usual state of intoxication. He reclines on a fine couch, staring listlessly at a flat-screen television.

“Wake the fuck up!” she shouts, kicking the sofa.

Toto doesn’t flinch. “Oh hey. I wasn’t sleepin’...” he says drowsily, “How’d the deal go?”

“4,000 bucks for that load of skag from last week. Fuckng’ chump change, but forget that! Have you even moved from that spot today?! All day, you sit there while I’m out keeping us fed!”

“Nah, I did… I did move today, I went to the bathroom like an hour ago, and--”

“Shut up!” his sister shouts, knocking the TV off of its counter and sending it shattering on the floor. “What the hell’s the matter with you?! You’re one of the smartest people I know, and you waste all your time and money on pot!! Are you trying to prove Aunt Janet right about you?! You want what she said to be true?!”

“... She was right, wasn’t she?”

Knowles pauses. “... What?”

“Aunt Janet said I was scum, and she was right.. So’s e’rybody. E’rybody thinks they’re somebody, but they ain’t… Dad mattered, he was somebody. He did e’rything right, e’rything he was s’pposed to do. Mom too. And then somebody walked to ‘em and shot ‘em in they fuckin’ heads. I couldn’t stop it… I couldn’t stop it. Because I don’t matter… Nobody matters…”

“Toto…” Knowles begins, uncommonly soft.

“That’s no way to think at all, young man,” a voice from the doorway chides.

Knowles was sure she locked the door behind her, and even if she hadn’t, she should have heard the latch click and the hinges swing open. But when she turns, she finds an old black man, standing as if he had been there the whole time. He is frocked in a white coat and wide-brimmed hat, with a gentle smile spread along his face.

The preacher removes his hat and raises it over his head, a gesture of salutation. “Good evening to the both of you! My name is--”

Knowles pulls her gun out of the front of her pants and fires four shots into the old man. He stumbles backwards and hits the wall, still clutching his hat. But a moment passes, and he simply gets up and brushes himself off right before Knowles’ horrified eyes. There is no blood, no wounds, nor even any bullet holes in the preacher’s clothes.

“Aaahh…!” he exclaims, like he just received a massage, “I thank you for that. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. As I was saying--”

“RAAAAGHH!!!” Knowles roars and unloads her weapon on him, emptying the remaining 14 rounds into the preacher’s body. Once that clip is empty, she produces another from her pocket, reloads, then empties that as well. Still, once finished the preacher starts to get up, none the worse for wear.

“Knowles…!” Toto says as his sister is about to produce a third clip of bullets. “I don’t think it’s workin’...”

Knowles scowls. She keeps her pistol trained on the old man, but she doesn’t reload it. “May I speak now?” The preacher asks, and Knowles finally lowers her pistol. “Good evening to the both of you!” he repeats in the same tone of voice as before, even raising his hat in the exact same way, “My name is Brother Dust, and I’ve come to introduce myself as an admirer of your work. You may, perhaps, have already heard of me?”

“No,” Knowles spits.

“I have…” Toto says, blinking out of his lethargy, “You’re the preacher man. You was around back in ‘92… During the riot...”

“Oh!” the preacher man exclaims, clapping his hands in delight, as he takes off his hat and places it on the counter where the TV was. “That’s good! Wonderful, this won’t take up too much time, then! Speaking bluntly, I’ve been following your activities closely for the last several seasons, and I am impressed! Most within the industry are convinced the recent campaign of bank robberies are the work of an entirely new, upstart gang, but I recognized the unmistakable touch of an independent entrepreneur. I was sure that it could only be the work of one, or at the most, two bold souls. And lo and behold, here you are! Like the Good Book says:

Beware you of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which you have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed on the housetops.

That’s the Gospel of Luke. Chapter 12, Verses 1-3. Do you know the meaning of this particular passage?”

Knowles stares at him blankly.

“Christ warns His apostles against the sin of the flesh,” Dust continues, “the chief among them being hypocrisy and the fear of death. The soul, He declares, is immortal. No Pharisee or man of violence can ever lay hands upon it, so why fear them? One who preaches the True Word should have no fear in him but the fear of God. To fear the hands of men when one has been ordained by the Almighty? That is the hypocrisy of which Christ speaks.”

“What the fuck… are you talking about…?” Knowles asks at last.

The old man blinks and then laughs, waving his hands about embarrassedly. “Oh my goodness, me, sorry about that! There I go again, spouting theology! I’m afraid I tend to get too caught up in my devotion! This is your home, and I’m merely a guest here to present you with a proposition. Young man!” he says, turning to Toto, still slouched on the bed, “Please, don’t hold back on my account! By all means, indulge in your narcotic. ‘Take a hit’, as the young people say!”

Toto glances at his blunt and stares at the preacher. He seems to be trying to think of something to say, but eventually, he raises the blunt to his lips and inhales softly. About a second after he lowers it, his eyes bug out of his head and he starts coughing heartily.

“Toto?!” his sister cries, rushing to his side on the bed, “What’s wrong?!”

“I’m fine!” Toto replies, surprised. He raises his hand and stares at it with wide, completely lucid eyes. The high he was just enjoying appears to have dissipated like morning fog. “It’s like I smoked caffeine or something…!”

“Now that we’re all comfortable,” Dust says, drawing the siblings’ attention. He has sat down in the armchair adjacent to the couch, laying his hat on the coffee table. “I’d like to get to my proposition, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Neither sibling objects.

“In very simple terms, I’d like to recruit into my organization. Now I know what you’re thinking…!” he proclaims, raising his hands in theatrical defense, “You’ve both been doing very well for yourselves as an independent outfit, thus I recognize your disinclination to becoming subordinate to another! But consider this: An entrepreneur may indeed have the freedom to operate how he or she pleases, but the risk of failure is far greater. Luck, or rather Fate, plays a role in the success or failure of every endeavor, and sooner or later, all of us lose favor with Fate.

“But as part of a collective, you receive the protection of your peers. What I propose is not to simply join an organization, but to become part of an enterprise that will give you the means to awaken your true selves! To rise above and-!!”

“SHUT UP ALREADY!!” Knowles shouts. Dust pauses, his passionate pitch cooling into an amused grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t give a fuck!” Knowles continues, standing in front of the preacher with clenched fists. “Even if I gotta die for it, nobody tells me what to do!! All I want to know is how you did all that shit?! How’d I empty my piece on you and you don’t even flinch?! What the fuck even are you?!”

“... Were you not paying attention? I thought I explained earlier, remember? Luke, Chapter 12?” Dust raises a finger to his temple and taps it gently. “I am a preacher of the True Word, who does not know the death of the body. And the True Word is that the List is written. The ink is dry. Only those with pure souls will see Paradise. Those like me, and like you.”

“Pure…?”

“Yes. Only those with pure souls can become vessels of divine power. Your brother achieved purity through the banishment of desire, wanting nothing, giving himself over to the flow of Fate. But for you, my dear, your soul has been purified by the fire of hatred. The overwhelming desire to control, to consume. That is why you will both make excellent vessels.”

“That’s such bullshi--!!” Knowles begins advancing towards the old preacher, but a hand on her shoulder gives her pause. She turns to see her brother standing behind with a serious look on his face.

“... We’re interested.” Toto says to Dust, sounding more sensible than he has in years.

“... The hell we are!!” she yells, slapping his hand away. She expects him to recoil from her then, backing away from any confrontation, but to her surprise, Toto stands firm and looks her in the eye.

“We should hear what he’s got to say,” he says. “You saw what he can do. If… If he’s talking about what I think he is, then we might--”

“Fuck that!! Weren’t you listening before?! Even if I have to die, no one tells me what to do! Especially not you!!”

“Do you wanna stay here forever?!” Toto shouts, stunning his sister into silence. “Holdin’ up banks for the rest of your life, never changing anything?!” He calms down, lowering his voice, but his intensity does not dissipate, focusing into a quiet determination. He points at Dust and says, “He’s got… some kind of ability. Something that makes him special. And he’s offering to give us the same kind of ability… Can you afford to miss this chance? Don’t you still have something you need to do?”

Knowles opens her mouth to retort with some sharp, biting remark, but nothing comes to her. She stares into her brother’s eyes and sees strength in them she had never seen before.

A moment of silence passes. At the end of it, she sighs, her tense muscles relaxing slightly, but not fully. Her hands remain in fists as she turns to the preacher man. “... I don’t pray.”

The preacher man smiles brightly and rises from his seat. “Worry not!” he beams, retrieving his hat, “Whether consciously or not, all our actions aid the will of a higher power…”

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #achtung attitude #dust #knowles #toto #ch42

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