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ifortom · 6 months

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Champagne Problems - T.H.

Synopsis: Tom and y/n, a couple that used to be inseparable, now face a deep crisis in their marriage. Their daughter, Olivie, 4, is in the middle of this emotional turmoil. With busy lives, differences of opinion and fragmented communication, the love that brought them together is slowly fading. After the aftermath they must face their own demons, rediscover empathy, and find a way to rebuild the relationship they once shared. Not just for themselves, but also for the well-being of their daughter, who longs for a united family.

A/N: Well here it is, this is a rollercoaster of emotions and I hope you enjoy it. An important note: English is not my first language so I hope you understand if there are any errors, be kind and let me know if necessary and I can fix it.

W/A: +5k

‘’Where’s my sweet baby pie?’’ You heard Nikki’s voice before she even opened the front door.

‘’Grandma!’’ Olivie screamed loudly when she saw her grandmother and ran straight into her open arms.

‘’Hi sweetie! I missed you.” She said hugging the little girl tightly. ‘’Everyone was waiting for you.’’ Olivie smiled and made her way inside the house without looking back.

Nikki turned to you, as you walked in the living room and smiled opening her arms just like she did with Ollie, welcoming you into a warm hug.

‘’What about you, darling? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.’’

‘’I know, and I’m sorry for that. Work’s been so hard lately, there’s a lot going on.’’ It wasn’t a lie, the last few weeks had been a pain in your ass with so much work since you got your promotion to chief editor at the publisher you worked.

‘’Yeah, Tom told me, that’s great news though!’’

‘’Its is, I’ve waited this for such a long time. But is complicated, Ollie is growing up and I feel like I’m missing out sometimes.’’ She smiled softly at you.

‘’I get it, just try not to stress yourself, that girl needs you... and you know, your promotion wasn’t the only thing Tom talked to me about the last time he was here... what’s going on with the both of you?’’

This was a question you really didn’t want to reply and this was a conversation you didn’t want to have, especially with your husband’s mother.

‘’I guess our relationship has seen better times but we’re trying. I’m just... I can’t have this conversation right now”

‘’I see... it’s alright sweetheart. I don’t want to intrude, just want to see you happy, the both of you. And that little girl.’’

‘’Me too.’’ You smiled at her, trying to hide the forming lump on your throat. ‘’I need to go, Tom is probably already home and we need to get ready.’’

‘’Of course. I’m going to find Ollie for you to say goodbye.’’ She walked out in the direction of the back garden.

While you waited, you took your time looking around the living room you’ve seen a thousand times already. Memories spread across the walls in the form of photos. Tom’s graduation day, Paddy’s first day of kindergarten, your wedding day, their family trip to Hawaii, Olivie as a new born. Memories you’re proud to be a part of.

The sound of small feet running to you woke you up from the small daydreaming.

‘’Mummy!’’ She hugged your legs and you bent down to her level to stare into her eyes.

‘’I’m going now, ok? Remember our deal?”

‘’Yeah, to be a good girl for grandma.’’ She said happily remembering your words from earlier.

‘’That’s right! Two nights, ok? And then we’re taking you home.’’

‘’You and daddy?’’ She asked playing with a string of your hair.

‘’Yeah, mummy and daddy.” She nodded. ‘’Alright, now give mumma a hug.’’ You tighly held her for a while, taking in her baby scent, the one you loved so much. ‘’Bye, babybug.’’ She let go of you and turned around finding her grandmother standing next to the couch. ‘’Bye Nikki, thank you for taking care of her. And please, say hi to everyone.’’

‘’Always. And please, have fun. You both need that”

...

Tonight was a special night. Tom’s company is hosting a party to celebrate a new partnership with a foreign company and, of course, as the wife of one of the partners, your presence is unquestionable. You need to be there to support your husband and keep the facade of the perfect couple with the perfect family. Because no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The dark red dress you chose hugs your curves in all the right places, the small slit on the leg made it a little more daring but didn't lose the classic touch. It had been a while since you dressed up for a gala event, so you decided to take advantage of the opportunity and remember your features that have been hidden for a while.

Tom entered the room wearing his elegant suit. His hair was straightened and with every step he took he exuded class, and as you watched him in the mirror's reflection, you noticed his gaze fixed on your body.

''Woah, you look beautiful tonight'' Was the first thing he said. Tom hadn't had the opportunity to see the dress you had chosen before this moment, so it was definitely a surprise.

''Yeah, I wanted to try something today.'' You smiled, breaking eye contact in the mirror and going to the table next to the bed, picking up the necklace you had chosen. ''Can you put it on for me?'' You walked up to him and handed the necklace into his hands, turning your back.

Tom calmly analyzed the necklace and felt his breathing hitch. There was the necklace he had given you just before Olivie was born. Your pregnancy was not easy. There were many complications during the period and the risk of something happening to you or the baby was high. To this day, he is grateful that you two made it out of the operating room safe and sound.

The small, sparkling jewel dangled from the chain, reminding him of simpler times. He knew the moment he saw it for the first time that you would love it. It was simple, but it carried enormous emotion, love and hope.

He raised his hands towards your neck and noticed that they were sweating. And you felt his warm breath on your neck and his fingers delicately ran across it, making goosebumps run down your body. How long has it been since you felt each other's touch like this? It's impossible to believe that the two young people who couldn't live without having contact with each other for a long time became like two strangers afraid to touch.

Maybe a few years ago he would have come closer, placed his hands on your waist and left a kiss next to your ear. You would have thrown your head back leaning on his shoulder and the two of you would have stayed like that for a while.

But things changed and the two of you were no longer the same couple at the beginning of a relationship as you were before. Life happened and differences emerged, thoughts changed and opinions diverged. How could things be the same as before?

Instead, Tom put space between you and scratched his throat. His hand went to the back of his head. You looked in the mirror once again.

''I'm driving today, so if you're ready we can go''

You nodded and turned to him waiting for some reaction. Whatever it was. But what you got was him turning his back and walking towards the bedroom door. Holding back the cry that wanted to leave your throat, you lifted your head and followed him. Time to play the part.

...

The path to the venue's party room was silent. In the car, Tom let the music take over the space. As you mouthed the lyrics to a random song that was playing, Tom let furtive glances find you. But you would never know it.

When you arrived, a boy went towards the car while Tom opened his door. He quickly turned around and opened your door, extending his hand to help you out. Tom thanked the boy who entered the space he previously occupied and left with the car to park it.

You held onto Tom's arm as you walked together to the entrance of the already crowded room. Taking a deep breath, a smile appeared on your face as Harrison, Tom's best friend and one of his partners, walked towards you.

''You're finally here, what happened that took you so long?'' He said suggestively, making Tom laugh.

‘’No need to pry, mate.’’ Tom replied, now wrapping his arm around your waist. ''We arrived and we are fine, thank you for asking.''

''No defensiveness, Tom. You look great tonight, Y/N.'' Harrison said.

''Thanks, H. You don't look bad either.'' Harrison smiled and spun around as if showing off his outfit. You laughed at his mannerism.

''Well, some of the investors are already here and want to meet the person responsible for the partnership with the Japanese company.''

''Don't put all this on me, you were responsible too.''

''Wait, Tom... you didn't tell me that this came from you.'' You said resting one of your hands on his chest.

''What? Didn't he tell you? It turns out that if it weren't for this guy here, things wouldn't have happened. He was the one who stayed up working for hours and hours, making it impossible for the company to refuse the agreement.'' Harrison said.

How come Tom never mentioned this? Of course you knew something big was about to happen at the company but you didn't know that Tom was working so hard on it. So every night he took a while to get home, he was at work? Was the silence that came from him caused by this?

Tom looked uncomfortable, which was strange. Why was he acting like this?

A waiter approached the three of you and held out a tray with glasses of what looked like champagne. Harrison took one, while Tom did too and handed it to you.

''Aren't you going to drink?'' Harrison asked raising an eyebrow.

''I'm driving tonight.'' His hand returned to your waist and you felt his fingers lightly caressing over the thin material of the dress. ''Let's do this. I'll be right back, okay?'' He turned to you, who in response just nodded.

''Y/N, Sophie is near the bar. She was looking forward to your arrival.'' He pointed to where his wife was talking to two women unknown to you. ''She said that only you understand her in this place.''

''I say the same about her.'' You started walking towards your friend, who, upon seeing you, completely forgot about the two strangers she was talking to.

''I'm so grateful to see you. I was already starting to panic.'' She hugged you. ''Girl, and that dress! You look wonderful.'' She said looking you up and down.

''Did you like it? I think I made the right choice.''

''Definitely. I bet Tom went crazy when he saw you like that'' She said winking. Sophie was one of the only people who knew about how troubled your relationship was, and she certainly hoped that things between you would get better.

Just like your words to Harrison, she was the only person you could count on at the moment. Ever since their relationship began, just a few months after you and Tom became official, you two had been inseparable. The two of you worked together to help the two of them when they decided to start a company. And in this world made of appearances, you remained the same.

Obviously, Tom and Harrison have other partners who are married to snobbish and difficult to deal with women. And even though their husbands only have a small portion of the company, they act as if they are in charge of everything and everyone.

That's why you two stick together. Holding each other.

''It turns out that I was also expecting a reaction but I didn't get much.'' You say dejectedly taking a sip of the drink. Her hand affectionately roams your arm.

''I'm sorry, darling. He may not have shown it but I bet he won't resist and at the end of the night we know what will happen.'' The suggestive way in which she spoke made you laugh sincerely. ''We know what you have hidden there!'' You chuckled even though you weren't sure how this night would end and if it would go that way.

''For now I don't want to think about it, let's just enjoy it, okay?'' You tell her, holding her hand and pulling her close to the bar. ''Let's order a drink!''

And while you distracted the thoughts that disturbed you with what you were experiencing at the moment, Tom followed your every move, instead of paying attention to the compliments and questions he received.

''What you're doing for the company is great, Thomas! I'm sure it will grow more every day.'' Peter's hand, one of the investors, stopped on his shoulder, pulling him back.

''Thanks, but I wouldn't be able to do any of this alone.'' He said. ''None of this would be possible without the help of everyone who works at the company. Everyone, without exception.''

''And he's still humble. You really impress me, boy'' Peter laughs, making everyone in the circle laugh too.

''If you'll excuse us, we need to talk for a second.'' Harrison interrupts and pulls Tom aside, leaving the circle of middle-aged men. ''Mate, are you okay? You seem a little distant.''

Tom stares at the ground, trying to keep himself steady. His emotions were running high, and he didn't want to show it, at least not here and now.

''Yeah, I just need to have a glass of water.'' He replied walking towards one of the waiters who was carrying what he needed. ''This conversation has stressed me out. Harrison, I didn't do it all alone. You were part of it too.''

''Tom, I know that. Just accept the compliment, you know that's what they like to do. They're just interested in the money they're going to receive from all of this.'' Harrison says, resting his hand on his friend's shoulder. ''You do not need to worry about me. After all, I didn't lie about who actually stayed up late working on this project. The merit is yours, my friend.''

‘’Thanks, mate” Tom smiled and hugged his friend.

''Let's mingle a little bit more, okay? Then we can return to the arms of our dear wives.'' After Harrison's words, Tom's eyes went looking for you again. And they found you in the same place, laughing and enjoying the night, looking freer than before. ''Speaking of which, why didn't you tell her what was going on?''

''I think I was working too much and didn't want to worry her. She just got promoted and you know how Y/N is like. Always putting the needs of others above her own.’’

''Tom, she is your wife. Not to mention she's the mother of your daughter. She needs to know about things that happen, you can't deal with everything alone.''

''I know that.'' He took a deep breath. ''But this is not the time for that, shall we continue?''

Harrison looked a little disappointed but didn't want to step on any more toes, so he just agreed and they carried on with the night.

...

''I can't believe he did that.'' Sophie said shocked. ''What an asshole.''

''Well, you can believe it.''

''He promotes you and still has the courage to challenge you? Doubting whether you will be able to complete your tasks on time?''

Since you were promoted, your boss has been making comments about your work making you doubt whether it was a good choice or not. Which doesn't make sense because the decision to promote you was his. How can he doubt your abilities now?

''It's been exhausting but I've been trying not to pay too much attention to his sarcastic comments.''

''I bet so, but I'm sure you're doing an excellent job.'' She smiled. ‘’Seriously, you shouldn't care about this asshole’’

''Whoa, who's the asshole?'' You heard Harrison's voice, and turned around to find him and Tom approaching the two of you.

''Y/N's boss is trying to make her work life hell.'' She responded as Harrison hugged her from behind. At that moment you felt jealous of her. ''Hey, want to dance?''

''Hm, one of the bosses embarrassing himself on the dance floor with his lovely wife? Is this something everyone here would like to witness?'' He pretended to think for a while before holding her hand. ''I bet they wouldn't miss this for anything.'' He dragged her to the dance floor, leaving you and Tom standing next to each other laughing.

When the laughter stopped it was strange. They were there, husband and wife embarrassed to be so close. Tom broke the ice and got closer to her, who leaned back on a table. His hands went to her waist while hers went to his chest.

''I would ask you to dance too, but I don't know if everyone here is prepared to watch this disaster.'' The playful tone in his voice made her startle. She feigned shock.

''Are you sure about that? Am I the cause of disaster? Do I need to remind you of our first dance? How many times did you step on my foot that night?'' They laughed together and for the first time in a long time, you felt close to him. Almost complete. He was there, and he was yours. ‘’Tommy...’’

His heart missed a beat when he heard the nickname. Your hands went around his neck, your face slowly approaching his.

‘’Yeah, darling, I’m here.’’

''I really miss you.'' You say placing your head on his chest. ''I'm tired.''

''Do you want to go home?'' He asked, stroking your back.

''Are you sure? It's your party. I can go alone if you want. I'm not that drunk, I'm just really tired.'' Your voice was muffled but he could hear it.

''It doesn't matter, I won't let you go alone. I just need to say goodbye to some people, okay? And talk to Haz.'' He said, making you look at him.

''Okay, I'm going to the bathroom.'' He nodded and let you go. Watching your path before following his.

In the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror and noticed how flushed you were. Not knowing if it was caused by the drinking or the closeness you were with your own husband.

You entered one of the stalls just as two women entered the bathroom.

''Did you see them today?" One of them said. ‘’They look so hot.’’

''Yeah, it's a shame they had those two clinging to their arms all night.'' The second voice said, Ava, you recognized it. She was Tom and Harrison's assistant at the company. The person everyone has to deal with directly before they can exchange a word with either of them. Normally, she is the one who decides which issue is extremely important and needs to reach them or not.

''Did you see Y/N tonight? I never imagined she could dress so well''.

''It was definitely just for the show.'' Ava replied and you held your breath in fear that they would realize that there was someone else in the same room as them. ''At least she looks pretty today.''

''And how do you feel about that?'' The girl asked cautiously.

''What do you mean by that, Izzy? Do you think I'm afraid of her?'' Ava mocked. ''You don't even know the half of it.''

''It's his wife.'' The second girl, Izzy, clarified.

''Do you want to know? Tom and I have become very close these last few weeks. Late one night, while we were at the office, he opened up to me. He was very honest saying that their marriage is not going well. Made it seem like he was tired of her or something.'' She said. ''What they did today was just to keep up appearances. I know what he really wants.''

''You mean he wants you?'' Izzy said and you felt your heart stop waiting for the answer.

''It's not that, I mean, we had a moment. This week, he was in the middle of a meeting when his daughter's daycare center called. Something about her fighting with a colleague over a pen, childish stuff, you know? I needed to act and since my name was on the list of people who could pick her up, I went.'' You felt dizzy upon hearing the information. How had Tom not told you this? ''I think he was extremely grateful, we hugged and well, we almost kissed.''

Everything was getting blurry, you couldn't believe he would do something like that.

''It didn't happen, so I don't want to say he wants me, but maybe he wants to get rid of her.'' She finished. ''Anyway, I wouldn't have a relationship with him. A daughter and an ex-wife? It is not for me. But that's it, looking doesn't take away anything.''

They left the bathroom still gossiping, but you couldn't hear anything else. How could he have done this? Not just exposing your relationship to a stranger and almost kissing her but hiding something about your own daughter? Trying to remember a moment that may have been abnormal, you remembered two weeks ago, when Tom called you informing you that he was already at home with Ollie earlier and that you didn't need to pick her up. This was unusual, and never happened unless you agreed beforehand.

Something happened at her school, little Olivie got into trouble and you didn't know about it. You couldn't discipline your own daughter because your husband decided to hide it from you.

After the shock, some things started to make sense and well, your husband almost kissed another woman. There's a lot going on and you're not in a good place to think about it. Your only goal now is to go home.

Leaving the cabin, you looked in the mirror and finally noticed the tears running down your face.

You quickly wiped your face and left the bathroom, encountering who you wanted to avoid. He was there, near the door, talking to the two women who had just exposed the biggest nonsense that Tom Holland could have done in his life. His eyes met yours and he was distracted, confused by your expression, soon the women also noticed that you left the bathroom right behind them.

And they knew what they had done. They said goodbye to Tom without looking back. He walked up to you and cupped your face with his hand.

''Y/N what happened?'' He said worriedly, you grabbed his wrists, removing his hands from your face.

''I'm going home.'' Was the only thing you said before walking past him towards the exit. Without looking at anyone, not even Sophie.

When you finally left the salon, the same boy from earlier was standing in front of the familiar car, waiting for the owner. He spotted Tom, who was behind you and handed him the keys.

He thanked the boy and stopped in front of you.

''Let's go, and we'll talk about what's going on.'' He held your hand only for you to make him let go right away.

''I'm not going with you''

''What? Y/N, get in the car.''

You shook your head and the tears came back. Soon your face was covered and you couldn't control it.

''No. How could you... how could you do this to me?" Your voice was increasing and Tom started looking around frantically.

''Y/N, baby, please. Let's go home.’’ Your hands went to your face, hiding it, embarrassed by this whole situation.

''You're hurting me so much, Tommy.'' Carefully he approached you and hugged you. And you allowed it. Because you are tired, tired of fighting, of holding this relationship alone, of holding a family alone.

Tom managed to guide you to the car and just like on the way there, the return was filled with silence. The only thing that could be heard this time was the sound of your sniffing.

When you arrived home, you were the first to get out of the car without looking back. Tom hadn't even parked properly and you were already outside. Sobriety overshadowed any drink you had this evening. With difficulty you found the keys to the front door inside your bag.

Finally inside the house, you took off your heels, leaving them at the entrance and made your way to the living room. You can hear Tom closing the door and walking right behind you.

''Can you tell me what happened to Ollie at school?'' You turned to him. ''Or are you going to keep hiding this from me?''

And so, Tom understood. He finally understood what had happened. You knew everything.

''She had a fight with a friend. Apparently, he took something from her and she tried to resolve it by pushing the child.'' Tom said as he ran his hands through his hair, messing it up. ''The child was not hurt and the parents understood that it was just a silly disagreement between the children. But the school called me to talk about her behavior.''

''They just called you, or called us both?’’

''Both of us.'' He said knowing where this was going. Your face contorted into an expression of pain.

''Do you know how that makes me feel, Tom? My daughter behaved badly and you omitted me to be responsible for it. She's not just yours, Tom. I need to know these things. What does this teach her? That it's ok if she hides certain things from me, because you did the same? And when she decides to do this with both of us? That hiding things is better?''

''I know I made a mistake, Y/N but I didn't want to burden you. I know the work has been difficult. Hell, you said that to Sophie today.'' He said trying to defend himself. ''I'm sorry for hiding it from you, but I did it thinking about saving you some worry.''

''Thomas, she's my daughter too. I need to know what happens to her. God, Tom, she's 4 years old.'' You try to reason with him, who just sits on the couch. ''I know that's not the whole reason you kept this from me.''

And when he looks up, you find him with eyes full of tears ready to collapse.

''I heard Ava's conversation in the bathroom, that's how I found out. I know she went to pick up Olivie that day. And for the record, I know she's your secretary but I want her off the list of people who can pick up Ollie.'' You say, moving away from him. ''I know what happened next. Between you two.''

Tom quickly stood up in front of you, his eyes begging you to accept whatever he was going to say.

''I don't know what she said, but you need to believe me when I tell you that nothing happened between us. I could never do that to you Y/N, you need to know that.'' And to his surprise you smiled softly. ''From the first moment you came into my life, I knew I would never need anyone again, no matter what.''

''Tom, what happened to us? When and why did we grow so far apart? Isn't this what we wanted, our family?''

''I know I've been distant but Y/N... things really aren't easy. We almost lost... we almost lost the company. Our accounts weren't good, there was a month when I thought we wouldn't be able to pay the employees. Me and Haz were desperate.'' He turned around as if he was embarrassed. ''We almost lost our investors. That's why I had to work twice as hard. So I spent a few nights away from home. In the midst of all this, all I could think about was the two of you. I needed to protect you no matter what.''

Your face softened upon hearing his outburst.

''It's been 10 years since we started this project and look at everything we've built. I had to do something. I know you work and believe me, you are the best at what you do, and your boss is just another asshole in this world who thinks he is better than others, but wouldn't be able to do half as much as you.’’

His face, like yours, was already full of tears.

''I'm sorry, I just couldn't let it all end like this. So, I did everything I could to rebuild what we have.'' He finished, approaching you once again, carefully his hands cupped your face. ''I'm sorry, my intention was never to hurt you. I would never do that.''

Without thinking twice, your lips pressed against his. You hadn’t felt them in a while. Your hands went to his hair while his went to your waist, pulling you as close as possible. As you deepened the kiss, Tom's hands ran down your back. His lips trailed down to your neck and collarbone, leaving open-mouthed kisses along the way.

Your hands found the jacket he still wore, removing it.

''Y/N, I don't want to... are you sure?'' He said with a hitched breath as you left small kisses on his lips. It had been so long since you had truly felt him.

''Yes I'm sure. I miss you so much, Tom, please.'' You said as you stared at him firmly.

He guided you to your room and as always, you let him, trusting him as you always did. And that night, Tom made you feel what you hadn't felt in a while, closeness to him. The care he always had, the affection. Skin on skin, sweat, short and mixed breaths.

...

On Sunday, two nights later, in the morning Tom told Nikki that you would be there for lunch and she could barely contain her happiness at hearing the news. Somehow she managed to notice the difference in her son's tone of voice and knew that things were working out.

Of course, you talked afterwards, for a long time, and agreed that you wouldn't hide anything from each other, especially issues related to Olivie. And you would always be there to listen to each other in any difficulty that may arise. That's what you promised when you exchanged rings and it would remain that way for a long time.

''Mumma, daddy!'' Olivie's excited voice was the first thing you heard when you arrived in the back garden of the Holland family house.

''Hi, baby!'' You said as Tom picked Ollie up. ''Did you have fun with grandma and grandpa?''

''Yeah, we made cookies.'' She said excitedly.

''I hope you left one for me.'' Tom said making the little girl laugh.

''I ate them all.'' She said jokingly. ''Sorry dad.'' Tom opened his mouth pretending to be shocked and you laughed at their mannerism.

This was what you missed, moments of joy and togetherness, happiness and love.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you liked it!

#tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x you #ceo!tom #dad!tom holland #tom holland au #mom!reader #tom holland imagines

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hoebiirama · 9 months

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✑ Anonymous sent : "Hey, Anli! I hope you're doing well <3 if ok with you, can I request some hcs for Madara and Tobirama with a fem friend who has Kamado Tanjiro's personality (from Kimetsu no Yaiba tho if you haven't watch it yet then someone who's just really kind, innocent in some way and respectful) some friendship hcs would be interesting. Thank you in advance if you accept my request! Take care 💙" ✑ Anli's useless comment : I am indeed unfamiliar with Kimetsu no Yaiba so I went off of the description you gave me, so I apologize if I didn't go in depth enough ! 😭😖 Thank you so much for requesting though 💚

Masterpost | Rules | Send a request | Works in Progress

うちはマダラ • Uchiha Madara

SFW

↳ Madara would be concerned for you. I don't think he sees all types of kindness as weakness (showing mercy to your opponent is the type of "kindness" he considers weak), but in your case, it's different. The fact that you always assume the best in people deeply unsettles him, and he's always worried that someone will take advantage of you one day because you're too friendly. Your willingness to help others is both your strongest and weakest asset. He doesn't like that.

↳ I feel like he would scold you like a strict dad. A lot. Because he grew up being told to constantly hide his emotions, he never learned how to properly express them, so it often comes out as anger or frustration. Is the scolding annoying ? Yes. Do you understand why he's like this ? Also yes. You wouldn't have a problem telling him off, but this man invented the concept of being stubborn, so your words would have virtually no effect on him.

↳ It's a different story entirely when that kindness is directed towards him. Madara is used to people feeling extremely intimidated by him, never looking him in the eye, never approaching him unless it's absolutely necessary, and being overly polite out of cautiousness and fear of summoning his wrath. And I feel like your kindness and positive attitude towards life would both feel like a breath of fresh air and very unnerving (definitely at first). He probably wouldn't know how to deal with that.

↳ But that's also the reason he came to care about you, because no matter how much of an asshole he was to you at first, you never reciprocated the sentiment. You were always nice to him. You never took anything he said personally because you understood why he was so guarded all the time and that alone was enough to make you special in his eyes. Madara has never received any form of empathy from someone other than his brother.

↳ Your kindness is pure, and he would feel it. You're not nice to him out of caution. You don't show him respect because you fear him. It's genuine. It's something you can't fake. And while he'd definitely be thrown off at first, he'd warm up to you and eventually come to deeply care about you, even if he has strange ways of showing it.

↳ What I'm saying is, Madara is biased. Showing him kindness and openness is fine. Encouraged, even. But towards others ? Hell no. That won't pass. And yes, it is partly due to his possessiveness. Because if you think that's just something he'd display with his s/o, you'd be deadly wrong. Whether you're his friend or his lover, you're still his, period. He'd be able to put up with it without too much complaining if it's with Hashirama, but with strangers and Tobirama especially, he won't stop himself from making some kind of comment about how they (read : Tobirama) don't deserve you being nice to them.

↳ Pro tip : a good way to shut him up if he starts lecturing you again is to tease him a little and tell him "well, I have you to protect me, don't I ? Why should I worry about these things when you're there ?" and his brain might just stop working for a hot minute, lol.

千住扉間 • Senju Tobirama

SFW

↳ I feel like Tobirama would share some similarities with Madara, but not even nearly to the same degree. He'd also be a lot more comfortable expressing his feelings through words, so he wouldn't get frustrated the way Madara would. It's just that sometimes he thinks you're being too trusting with people you should absolutely be wary of, or going too soft on people who don't deserve it.

↳ Thankfully, Tobirama is always ready to defend you from anyone who tries to imply that you're naive or easy to manipulate, because he knows it's far from the truth. You're no pushover; unfortunately, in the world you live in, it is often seen as a bad thing to be kind. Tobirama would have no qualms telling people off for you if need be, and by that I mean that even if you can stand up for yourself, you're not as harsh on people as he thinks is necessary, so he takes it upon himself to finish the job, lol.

↳ This one is obvious but I still have to say it : he'd also absolutely hate seeing you being friendly with Madara. I feel like all of the concerns Madara has in general would apply to Tobirama in this specific scenario. He'd be worried sick that the man would end up hurting you in one way or another (he feels the same way about Hashirama's friendship with Madara). Tobirama knows better than to straight up just tell you to stop talking to him, but if he catches you with Madara, he'd probably find any excuse to pull you away from him.

↳ Your friendliness and kindness also reminds him of his brother, and he'd definitely have a soft spot for it. I feel like he'd ask you a lot of questions to try and figure out why you're this way and how the world you live in hasn't seemed to completely ruin your innocence. It would be such a wild concept to him, and as the curious mind he is, he'd definitely try to understand your point of view.

↳ He would definitely come to you for personal advice if you're close enough. You'd be easier to trust than most people and not as biased as Hashirama would be (and, let's face it, if Tobirama comes to you with a personal problem, 99% of the time Hashirama is somehow involved in it), and you'd likely be one of the few people who could make him genuinely laugh. (Making him smile is easy enough. Just look at any picture of him with his students when they were children. Or how he was looking at Sasuke while fighting alongside him during the war. Man's not as stoic as people think he is — but you have a better chance at beating him in a footrace than you have at making him laugh.)

↳ Tobirama would love having you around, tbh. You're not as blindly optimistic as his brother is, but you're still the kind of positive presence he desperately needs in his life. He wouldn't fear negative judgement from you, and he knows you always mean well. You're probably the only person he can talk to about his students who'll get just as hyped as he is and not make some comment about how it's "unlike him to be so soft" and ruin the moment.

↳ 12/10 friendship, would recommend. For his sake. Please. The poor man desperately needs a friend.

#madara uchiha #madara headcanons #madara x reader #tobirama senju #tobirama headcanons #tobirama x reader #naruto headcanons

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fruit-sy · 5 months

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Another on my list of anime with female protags: Apothecary diaries!

My friend recommended it to me a while back and I finally got around to watching it last week. 10 episodes in, it's a really enjoyable watch!

One thing I love about this anime is that it really explores how the women survive in that world. From being a concubine to a courtesan, these women have power in these environments thanks to their talents, sharp thinking and... erm "assets". Other than that, it shows women's struggles in and out of these environments. How women will get kidnapped for their looks and how they have to keep down low in order to have some semblance of peace in their life, how to even make it up the ranks you have to be born beautiful.

Other than that, it shows problems which are completely fucked in this social hierarchy. How dispensable the lives of maids and food tasters are, how their lives are worthless compared to the concubines and how they could lose their lives if they so much as offend someone in a higher ranking.

The setting is in ancient china and yeah, a lot of things were pretty fucked back then. Like lady Lishu being 9 when she became a concubine (Throws up) and the social hierarchy, but once I acknowledge how utterly fucked some of it was and acknowledge that it's period acurate, it was a pretty enjoyable watch.

Maomao as a protagonist is really fun. She's very level headed and calm, but I love that they also gave her some room to be silly when she's passionate about doing the things she loves.

ALSO!! She can be a bad bitch as well!! I LOVE how she went off on the ladies in waiting for lady Lihua, and it really drives home her professionalism. As someone who works to better the health of other people, of course she'd be furious when the lady in waiting ignored the ban on the face powder and knowingly chose to slowly kill another person in her ignorance.

Maomao's curious and has a habit of trying to help others (especially her fellow women) when it's within her power. Though, she's very rational when it comes to things outside of her control and just chooses to move past it. Although she may seem cold, she's shown a kind of, solidarity with fellow maids who are disposable (food tasters and such) like herself as well as showing empathy for people who are suffering like lady Lihua and lady Lishu.

One thing that really stuck with me is how with lady Lihua, Maomao offered help and kept helping because Lihua wanted the help. Maomao said it herself, if lady Lihua refused to eat, then Maomao would accept it is how it is and prepare for her imminent punishment (and possibly execution) from the emperor. She is prepared to help others and see it through when they want the help. And I really admire that about her.

Another thing I like about her is that, while she isn't interested/doesn't want to put herself out there sexually, she doesn't put down other women who do! I think this comes from living in the pleasure district and Maomao having big sisters who talk about those kinda stuff with her, but even growing up near those kinds of things, she decides that it's just not what she wants to do!

She isn't interested in romance either, because that's just How She Is!

Anways, love how she knows what she wants and when it doesn't go her way, just chooses to roll past it.

Next, Jinshi... yeah he's got the looks but ok being For Real right now: I thought he was a gigantic creep in the first few (and latest) episodes. Because of his position and looks, he could get away with a lot of annoying/uncomfy stuff like getting really close and touching Maomao when she's uncomfortable with it. Also makes unwanted advancements towards her and her not having the power to refuse him too directly because of the fear of punishment because of the insurmountable gap between their social standing.

Though, even when he's still kinda condescending/doesn't respect her, I can see how he slowly starts admiring her for her strengths and begins to genuinely care for her, and that's a pretty sweet character development. Though he still doesn't respect her boundaries despite feeling affection (and having some seeds of genuine care) up to episode 10.

Alright, not so Seriously now, I am a sucker for the "popular/handsome guy thinks this chic is easy, oh whoops he fell and he fell hard" trope huehueh and that's exactly what he's going through right now!

Though, as much as their ship dynamic is a guilty pleasure of mine (one is super flirty while the other hates them with a great passion), I'm kinda hoping Maomao doesn't end up with him romantically.

I think it'd be interesting if that's just how Maomao felt, she just isn't interested in romance and if Jinshi really loves her, he has to acknowledge that no, "oh if I keep trying she'll cave eventually" is not it, and he has to respect her boundaries, regardless of their positions.

I think it'd be interesting if Maomao grew to also care for Jinshi as well, but not romantically. Caring for someone and romantic attraction don't always have to come in a package! I think it would be an interesting discussion, where both parties care for eachother but in completely different lights.

Anyways, in conclusion, I love how much of a women's perspective was put in this show. Women have power in certain areas, even if it is kinda fucked, and they have their own set of problems. Maomao is a really fun and compelling protagonist, Jinshi is kinda a creep though he has his moments, the other concubines are pretty fun (esp. Lady Gyokuyou), and the mystery and promise of character development compels me to keep watching!

#Fruit talks #Whoo here's my monthly dose of word vomit about The Thing that caught my attention this time #I actually have more thoughts (specifically) episode 9 and my hopes for this anime but maybe another time #Love maomao. you slay bitch #Jinshi is very hideously criminally Pretty and ok im into that #doesnt help that his english dub voice is KAIJI TANG and like almost all his lines are Low sing songy whispers that just aAARGHHHH #*punches wall*#*head in hands*#*pacing*#*deep breath*#im so normal about it #anime with female protags

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heinzpilsner · 1 month

Text

Tadadada! Here's the epilogue to my 'Overanalyzing beach Maiko' series.

Firstly, let's list some main conclusion theses:

1) Mai became interested in Zuko's problems after he directly mentioned his scar and his relationship with Ozai for the first time, so her final change of attitude does make some sense.

2) The basis for Zuko's irrational jealousy was Mai's annoyed facial expression after he criticized Ruon-Jian.

3) The context of Zuko's jealousy rampage actually leaves a loophole for not-possessive interpretation (yay).

4) Despite how badly Zuko screwed up, Mai somehow managed to screw up even more (yep, still sounds contr-intuitive).

5) Mai actually expresses herself all the time and her "childhood trauma" is a big bullshit.

6) Apart from his inner crisis, Zuko has to fix many problematic attitudes and personality settings before he'll become a decent romantic partner for anyone.

7) So does Mai.

Something like this.

And now, a bit of old good boring and inaccurate psychology lecture mistake correction.

I think that I misinterpreted Zuko's side of "bring me food" scene, actually. You see, I saw it as conscious submission in order to avoid conflict with Mai, but...

It actually looks more like Zuko genuinely didn't realize that Mai's demand was not okay. He wasn't exactly eager to please her*, but he also didn't see her attitude towards him as problematic.

(*Not catching Mai's "I'm hungry" initial hint is kind of an indicator of Zuko's cool-off towards her. I mean, acts of service is his typical way of showing affection, which makes his sudden cluelesness pretty notable.)

Basically, Mai and Zuko in this scene demonstrate opposite facets of locus of control problem. Simply put, they both believe that Zuko is responsible for something he really isn't - in this case, satisfying Mai's hunger.

Later, though, it's Zuko who believes Mai owes him something - namely, to give him affection and meet his emotional needs. In his head, he gives responsibility for his emotional well-being to Mai and scolds her when she "ignores her duty" by not being "passionate" enough.

(But while Mai doesn't owe Zuko anything formally, she made a mistake of severely underestimating Zuko's contribution into relationship and his real value for her. This resulted in her coldness and lack of gratitude in response to his affection, which is quite a big relationship screw-up.)

Okaaay, and with that part out of the way, it's time for my final personal reflections.

In general, I have no doubts I made lots of other mistakes during my analysis. I tried my best, but to dissect relationship conflicts correctly, you need to have good feeling of personal boundaries and empathy of your own. And... Well. It's not exactly my forte.

I compensate for some things with theoretical knowledge, but my mind is a mess, so... Yep.

I feel like I have to go and read more psychological theory after this.

Also, I kinda tried to do an entertainment out of this, and roasting format doesn't exactly mix good with being objective. So, yep. It seems I got some kind of useless Frankenstein monster in the end, lol.

And finally... Perhaps I had to make it clear much earlier, but...

I have nothing against Maiko shippers or Mai fans. Ta-da!

I'm sure they have a lot against me now though, pffft.

I realize what I wasn't exactly restrained in my roasting, so it's natural for you to dislike me. But my goal wasn't to tell you what your preferences are inadequate or something. I mean, I myself ship much more toxic problematic shit (and have a weak spot for all sorts of flawed characters). It isn't supposed to be about being rational. You like it, I don't, it's ok.

Dunno, maybe someone needed to hear this.

That's all, I guess. If you were reading this series - thanks for your attention. Despite everything, it was a rather interesting experience for me, and I hope you found something useful for yourself too.

I wonder what I should analyse next >:D

I ignore all notifications, but maybe I'll make an exception soon. Ta-da! What a cliffhanger.

#atla #zuko #mai atla #anti maiko

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polyphonical · 1 month

Text

Red Hot Island - Chapter 4

[ View on site for better experience♪ ]

Location: Starmony Dorms Kitchen

Eichi: Actually… I have a request I would like to make. I wanted to ask if you would like to monitor the events at Aquaria Park.

Chiaki: ――Monitor the events at Aquaria Park?

Eichi: Yes, that’s right.

Kaoru: Aquaria Park is that large leisure pool that got built last year, right? Wow~. I didn’t know the Tenshouin conglomerate ran it.

Leo: You have pretty much everything~! What’s next? Outer space? Are you gonna land on the moon?

Eichi: A moon landing huh. It’s a not as much of a problem for me financially as it is for me physically…

Eichi: And about Aquaria Park, it originally belonged to another company. The Tenshouin conglomerate just happened to merge with it this year.

So, I didn’t get management of it until this year.

Anyways, let’s get back to the story at hand. I’m actually planning a fan event for ES.

But it’s a large-scale event. That’s why I’m thinking about doing a play test of the park as a one-day event first.

That’s why I’m asking you all to help monitor it for me.

It’s nothing too difficult. You would just enter and spend time in the park, the same as regular customers.

There’s no reward to be given, but we’ll cover all costs associated with admission.

Instead, I want your honest opinion on how you felt in the moment.

The most important part is honesty, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t hold back. How about it?

Chiaki: That’s… So you want all the members here to play in the pool?

Eichi: Well… Yes, that sums it up.

Chiaki: Ah, then that’s fine! If you like that kind of thing, then it’s cheap for what it’s worth ☆ Right, guys?

Kaoru: Hmm… Well yeah. It’s a bit disappointing that it’s not the ocean, but I don’t mind being at a pool, so that’s fine…

Leo: Hmm? With these members?

Chiaki: Huh? What’s wrong, what’s wrong? The both of you look like you have something bothering you?

Kaoru: Well, I wouldn’t say it’s bothering me but…… There doesn’t seem to be a good reason for it to be us who goes, right?

I mean look, wouldn’t the members of Tenshouin-kun’s unit be fine too?

I dunno. I think the kids in “fine” would have said “OK” with no issue, so why does it have to be us?

Leo: Exactly! You came in here making a scene and everything. It makes us wonder if you have an ulterior motive or something? Suspicious…

Eichi: ……

Well, there’s nothing wrong with being suspicious. I’m not saying the play testing is the only goal I have.

Chiaki: What else is there besides the play test?

Eichi: That being said, it’s a pretty easy request. I just want you to spend some time at Aquaria Park and give me your honest opinions.

Kaoru: You want to hear our impressions of the park?

Eichi: Yes. Earlier, I told you how the company that originally ran Aquaria Park ended up merging with the Tenshouin conglomerate, right?

The reason for that merger was due to poor business performance. In fact, Aquaria Park was piled with debts from that time.

No matter how hard I try to improve it, the results never seem to show.

Chiaki: Hm… Well, if Aquaria Park is struggling financially, then it’d be hard to get results immediately.

Eichi: I guess. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to be patient. I have to improve it as soon as possible.

The way I see it, it’s a test of sorts. Designed to test my management abilities.

Kaoru: Bleh~ I can’t say I don’t understand this. Who knows, tomorrow this could be my reality, so it’s not a great thing to hear about~

Well, it’s not as bad as your case. My brother is the one who’s actually in charge of the live house, so.

Leo: Hmm. It seems like a pain to be in charge of something like that. I’m glad I only have to worry about Ruka-tan! [1]

Chiaki: Umm. This kind of problem isn’t really relevant to someone like me who grew up in an ordinary household, but… I can understand how difficult it must be.

Eichi: Fufu. That level of empathy is good enough for me. Well, that’s why this is important to me. That’s why I wanted to request if someone could monitor the area and search for improvements.

On top of that, I also need to play test the new event. So, it’d be more convenient for me if the same people worked on both of these things.

Earlier, Hakaze-kun asked why I didn’t ask this of the members in “fine". It’s true that it would be easier if I asked everyone in my own unit.

But I’m not too keen on that idea.

What I need is to hear your honest opinion. It pains me to say, but Wataru is the type who enjoys living in the moment. He might not be too focused on critique.

Putting Yuzuru aside, I think it would be rather difficult for Tori to express something negative like that to me. In that sense, you guys are different.

Since you guys can call me something like a panda or a ferocious bear with no qualms ♪

Leo: Gyah! You heard that?! Damn hell ears!

Chiaki: Hahaha! I get it. In that case, I won’t hesitate to tell you if something is good or bad, so don’t worry!

Isn’t that great, Tsukinaga, Hakaze? If having fun is helping someone, isn’t that a great thing?

Kaoru: Right right, I understand. Fine~ If Moricchi and Tenshouin-kun are that keen on going, then I’ll follow your lead. [2]

Leo: Yeah! It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a pool~! Maybe it’s okay to go every once in a while!

────────────────· · · · · ·♡· · · · · · ────────────────

Previous ♡ Directory ♡ Next

Ruka is Leo's little sister!

Here, Kaoru says 付き合って which I was way more familiar with being like. To go out with someone. And I sat here confused for like 5 minutes. Looking it up, you can also use it for like going along with someone's idea or to compromise. Glad I didn't make that mistake. I was going to keep "I'll go out with you" since that can also be just going on an outing, but I kept it like this for simplicity

#ensemble stars #enstars #ensemble stars translation #enstars translation #kaoru hakaze #chiaki morisawa #eichi tenshouin #leo tsukinaga #polyphonical #red hot island

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elialys · 16 days

Note

OMG im so 🥺

That i have to talk...I'm in shock !

How can someone like Torv and not follow her teachings? Love others as they are!Yes she always said quote Helen is Anna Torv "I love you just the way you are"it should always be people's motto!

And another quote she left this year EMPATY...OK you Dont like the person but you have to respect.Then its ok leave...why criticize something if we have no comparison?

You don't do anything so so wrong unforgivable to a human and everyone sometimes make mistakes!

I am sometimes surprised and outrageous by people pointing the finger só easily at small things that they perceive differently and be silent or quiet at big problems around them or even looking at themselves! I'm just saying one thing. Of all of us.... ALL of us, YOU were the one who dedicated the most time YEARS -DECADES, had the most patience (countdown the minutes of the 2 years without premieres? ) and fought for each series, each Anna Torv's work(things like uniting fans, posting videos, talking about her, supporting her unconditionally... Fauxlivia is still your protégé, right?🤭and fighting Helen Dale dont stop )... and for me it is extremely commendable and I admire you immensely for never stopping fighting and share Anna Torv!

Your neurodivergent brain may have flaws...but What brain don't have sometimes a little's error ?

NOBODY is Perfect right? And qualities as a fan fic writer, fan, woman, friend, caring, and empathetic you have and they are huge And guess what...people who prefer to criticize SHES A REALLY TREASURE !

I could list about more than 100 things you did that were important! And if you wanna i can make a list...my nerd brain remembers all good gestures 🥰

And this is for all there fans no fans humans that read...

When they criticize you...choose the other path...which Anna Torv has also advised...

FEEL PROUD OF EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE! 😍❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words, Maria ❤️❤️❤️

Honestly, I am genuinely at a lost as to why some people get so mad and unforgiving over honest mistakes, especially when I mean it when I say I never meant any harm, and will listen and change my behavior if it's not appropriate. I have been in this fandom for a very long time, and I've always tried my best to be nice, and to do better when I can do better. And anyone who takes the time to actually get to know me at all, unlike those people who have honestly been very closed-off from the start, knows that I'm the opposite of an asshole, and that my life motto literally is 'let's be kind and show empathy'.

I swear twitter puts a negativity filter on everyone's brain, they expect the worst of everyone. The fact that they thought I'd sent people after them to 'harass' them, when I wasn't even aware of what was going on until my friend reached out to me to tell me about it, at which point said friend had already gotten involved, just baffles me. I'm a 36 year old adult with bad social anxiety, I live my life hoping to avoid drama or situations in which people will get angry at me in any way. The last thing I would ever think to do is have that kind of vindictive behavior, especially about something I knew I could have handled better. But you can't have conversations with the twitter crowd, you just can't. They will assume the worst of you and that's it.

I haven't been on twitter for a couple weeks now, except to post fic links for my followers who care about them, and honestly, I don't know if I'll be back, not when there are a few people who seem to enjoy scrutinizing the things I do or say.

I still want to do the Anna project because I want her to receive love from her fans, but my anxiety about this is too high at the moment, and my brain a bit too unkind.

I'm very thankful for fellow fans like you, Maria, I mean that 😘😘😘

#hug!box

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elvendara · 8 months

Text

AU-gust day 21

21 Aug 23 Coaches

“Hi, are you MC?” Yoosung asked. He wrung his hands nervously.

“Yoosung?” she asked.

He nodded his blond head and sat down. There was a cup of coffee in front of her and a plate with a slice of banana bread.

“So, what exactly are you looking for in a life coach? You’re still so young.” She said as she stirred sugar into her coffee.

“Looking at it from the outside my life seems great, on a rising trajectory, but, I feel like I’m falling and just grasping at straws that break as soon as I close around them. I don’t even know if what I’m striving for is what I want, and what I want I don’t know how to get.”

“Explain.”

Before saying anything, the waitress brought his order and set it in front of him. He thanked her and turned back towards the brunette.

“Well, I wanted to be a vet because of my cousin, but I realized I don’t really want to and I was just doing it for her. I feel guilty though. I’ve wasted my parent’s money and…”

“I see. Why would you go into something you weren’t interested in?”

“I really looked up to my cousin. She taught me a lot about self-sacrifice and empathy. Her dog became sick and the vet recommended he be put down as the only merciful thing to do. I hated him because he made her cry. She refused to listen and took the dog home where he lived in pain and suffering for another few months before he finally died. I realized the vet was right eventually. It would have been more merciful. But then, Rika always thought more about what she wanted than what was good for anyone else. I realized that too. I was wrong about her. Her kindness was nothing more than narcissistic attempts to have accolades heaped on her. Everything she did was for selfish reasons.

“Unfortunately, it took me too long to figure it out and now I feel stuck.”

“Sounds awful, I’m sorry you went through such a difficult realization. So, if you don’t really want to continue with your veterinary studies, what do you want?”

“That’s what I need you for! I have NO idea who I am really. I followed Rika around like a lovesick puppy and did what she told me to do. When I try to think about what it is that I want or like, there’s just…nothing.” He shook his head in dismay.

“I see, well, I guess I can work with that. But you also said that you wanted help in getting what you actually want?”

“Ah, yes…as to that…I’m talking about my love life…or more like…lack of it.”

“I can do a lot of things, but I’m not a matchmaker.” MC shook her head in regret. “Love isn’t something that can be manufactured or manipulated. You can manifest all you want, but it takes two…as they say.” She shrugged.

“Yes, yes, I understand. I just need…well…advice on how to talk to…someone…” his face was flushed.

“Oh, I see. Ok, tell me about her.” She leaned in, curious and ready to take notes.

“Him actually.” Yoosung said, his face lighting up. “He’s amazing! Smart and sweet, well, sweet when you get past his gruff and crusty exterior.” He laughed, MC joined, getting caught up in his giddiness.

“He has this gorgeous, thick red hair, beautiful mint green eyes, slim, athletic build. He loves to read, speaks I don’t know how many languages, gardens and can talk your ear off about flowers and plants. I literally have no idea what he’s saying most of the time, but I could listen to him all day.” He stopped when he realized he was gushing.

“He does sound amazing. So, what’s the problem?” MC sat back and watched the blond.

Yoosung ducked his head and sighed. “I…I don’t know if he likes me that way. I mean, sometimes it feels like he does, but…” he shrugged. “He could do so much better than me. I’m a mess and not that smart. I don’t care about plants, and I only know two languages. The only books I read are manga and fan fiction of LOLOL. I don’t think I’m a good match for him.” He shrugged and looked incredibly dejected.

MC leaned over the table again, “Listen, we can work on you. Figure out who you are before tackling your love life. But honestly Yoosung, people don’t ever stop growing, changing, but I think we can get you on your feet enough that you can continue the journey on your own. Let’s work together.”

“Really? I’d like that. I really feel silly getting a life coach for this, but I just don’t know where to start.”

“I just want to make it clear that I will not be telling you what to do or how to think. I will however, help you in figuring those things out for yourself. You will be the driving force, so don’t feel like you have to give me answers you think I want to hear. This journey is about you!” she held out her hand and he shook it, gratefully.

“Thank you. I’m excited to find out about me. The real me!” he said.

“Me too!”

#au gust #au gust 2023 #day 21 #coaches #Yoosung Kim #MC #mention of Saeran Choi #mysme #mystic messenger #this is not good at all so I apologize #I just wanted to get something in today since I've been missing so many days #I just haven't been very inspired by the prompts #my fault #not very motivated #old news of course #not that anyone is going to read it anyway

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only-lonely-lovers · 5 months

Text

07.18.2022

tags: pee, blowjobs, sick during sex

notes: includes discussion of personal experiences with chronic illness and sex

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

[discussing a draft of our fic, which involves assisted peeing]

つ：oh my surprise at… pee…. ah my embarrassment is so immense over it that I get shy like n-no you don't have to cater to meeee don't force yourself!! but. I know bird likes too and, this is very tasteful…. I like uhm, that it feels like sucking it clean is actually such a natural tsukasa impulse, if licking tears is… why not? I like that Amane's response is as good as being raspberry'd on the tummy, like WHEEUUhh hehe but like hrgh stop at once, as much as it is with anything…. Tsukasa really does feel like a little alien without a naturally forming sexuality, it's more like all of amane's body is equivocal… there can't be disgust about tears, pee, boogies, anything…..

I like that this would be earlier in the TL, maybe when he's more like 3 or something…. not the world's sickest kid. but a very sick kid. an early 3 i mean

あ：Uhuhm, I wanted it to be like… You're starting to be more quarantined and missing out on stuff, and it's frustrating because you miss it. But you're not going to DIE from the strain, it's just foolish, a genuine hubris…

つ：its just inadvisable…. not yet feeling enough intense consequences as to completely understand you can't do it…

あ：Anddd... when I think about being very sick at 3, it really feels like ah, wouldn't it be soo easy to get into incidents where you wet yourself or something. Just didn't plan it. But amane also being like sooo the kind of kid who is going to want to die at such a mistake

つ：would be so humiliated…. you imagine this is a kid who was quick to potty train, anyway….

あ：Wanna do it m'self. Always more geared to that mindset, like mleh no thanks i got it…

Hehe I was hoping to just kinda keep the contents a surprise. but i want it too and I hope Avvy can keep that in mind when she looks over something like this hehe💞

in general tsukasa comes off as such a 'oh, you missed a spot. mlem.' kid , genuinely just showing affection this way, isnt able to at all worry about the optics

つ：such an earnest PoV…. mm I just do like nothing ah, 'interrupting' in its tone or tenor, just cuz weenie involved… since it's tsukasa's PoV, the neutrality of it all, and benign curious interest and ah, the desire to problem-solve for Amane is the root of doing anything…

あ：Despite everything he has a caretaker learn and is trying to think about Amane's wellbeing and entertainment

There's really no dramatic emphasis its like oop. careful with your weenie here let me just

and on Amane's end it's almost like sigh i did this to myself. But i liked the thought of this just being a sensation he kinda has in the back of his brain like mguh….

It happened so quick and also so seamlessly with everything else and he wasn't even looking. that it's like. what was that. something

つ：shouldn't have complained bout this or that… being fussy about anything just creates more circumstance for tsukasa to be forward-thinking

あ：ahh yes. a kind of boy… Lick you clean you up

つ：nobody likes to be messy… amane is like a cat

but its like ah…. Tsukasa is legitimately and consistently the thoughtful sibling, memorizing your favorite things, and needs… I like that Tsukasa is this, but not responsible… shows here. his allegiance is to Amane, and that's that there would be no disobeying Amane's command even if it was inadvisable, even if it would be better to listen to mom…

あ：It's really like, I cannot not-listen to Amane…. It's what he wants…. Tsukasa simply trusting that if Amane wanted him to fetch parents, that he would cave and beseech

つ：and the lack of empathy, means he can just watch you cough and note the cadence, repetition, how often it is… less mm, overwhelmed or panicked than someone else would be…. if amane said to wait and he can do it… then…. ok! i wait.

あ：i am good i wait. rub rub. nuzz. i love you simply in observation of amane's pain.. perhaps, feeling too much admiration of him during it. but not malicious!! so key

つ：and it's touching, if he's enduring it to be outside with you…. that feels beautiful.

あ：it's like oh… I promise I will appreciate it sooo much i do i do

つ：uhm but, bird did a good job capturing the energy… I'm feeling like our take on tsukasa's ah, interest, is ssso satisfying and rewardingly congruous with the canon…. it feels like a pure kind of love. I like that Amane, who is a bit more typical in his brain shape in some ways, is mystified by it… he has a sliight more natural inclination to be like, urghk… tsukasa…. [a little exasperated]….. its so… ah why are you like this.. (shouldn't you know its a little…..) but, not even at an age where its like, you know, "dont do that its weird/sexual/etc" as much as a natural sense of protectiveness i think anyone has for private/embarrassing things or 'gross' things….! its really not a… no homo at that age, its a. [just sortof feeling boundaries a bit crossed over, and that it's self-evident as well]

lacking the language to really state any of that, either

_______________

つ：uhhhooo I will saaay…~ that you don't likely remember anything said during Big Blowjob, buuuuut there was an instruction amongst the rambling, and it's enabled a certain kind of fantasy since…. genuinely a kind I wouldn't indulge without the urging! I feel so: hai. About it. ! Amane said… that I should think about doing this (smex) with him at any point… that he should have been doing it from the start. He wanted me to think about it! Naturally, it just isn't plausible or a thing that happened, so I don't just think of it….. but, thinking of completely different timelines… its very nice~ in particular very little sick blowjob is pleasant… having to be extremely gentle, slow by design…. being pet while Amane lays back, and yet when he coughs it tenses the body in such a way to shortly buck him up into mouth a few times, so even the coughing fits intermittently, are a treasure… an aspect not to be sad about, but to cherish…. more of a soothing sensation to share than anything…. and rewarding for him, to have something nice. Very clipped in words… having to focus on breathing. Just muttering 'thank you' or 'good job….' now and again… not talkative.

あ：Uoh. Well….. …… … it's like Amane just wanted to take you where he has been at I suppose. Don't leave me here all alone with these thoughts … …… but also enjoy yourself too….

Feel soo basic about sick blowies but I like the thought of them too… it's the thought of getting a taste of pleasure amidst such a troubled time. As embarrassing as Amane could feel I think the brain is just so desperate for a soothing sensation, the binkie of a slow blowjob could be immense. Long and very slow… don't want to leave it… In a way it's as kind as Tsukasa sneaking you extra ice cream or something, have to just be appreciative. Thank you for. being willing to do this.

It'd be a low pressure enough situation where he doesn't have to think about performing much, it's nice to just lay back and receive. And space out through the experience

つ：I like Amane becoming very casually spoiled… and yet also, arrogant about it a bit… his life is so hard, and it all hurts so bad, it's not something he's embarrassed or shy to ask for once it's going…. if tsukasa is so healthy, if breath isn't so precious to him and hard-earned, he may as well be here doing this

I imagine like for Bird it can feel like it keeps symptoms at bay sometimes….. a brief interlude

あ：seems like the sort of thing that one could just get acclimated to like (doesnt lift head or look up, just reaches hands in the direction of, grabby motions.) give… come here…

It's really like whatever sex fires off in you, sometimes just dulls everything and you stop coughing or sneezing so much.

Sick boy is removed enough from having to think about idk the consequences of doing such a thing, it doesn't feel risky or bad to teach Tsukasa this. it's like his personal right. if i like it, then it's my choice and it's fine. [like not capable of worrying abt what this does to your relationship or something]

almost like a bit too confident like: ehh tsukasa likes it ofc >> much like tsukasa will like many thing. its my choice tho just looking for pleasure. [griffin voice] ohh any moisture at all

つ：it is like.. tsukasa is not picky…. about his time… and he's always putting stuff in his mouth, whateverrrr

_______________

あ：oh to see you like sobbing when days go by and there is no tsukasa

the fact that amane is really more quick to cry and frequently crying…. makes it soo easy to imagine just miserable. so sad

つ：oh it makes me think of the brainlessness of the amane looking for tsukasa like hehe where are you. [looks around] …..

あ：it surely started out ala jake singing where - is - finn! and then devolved into this

finds your teddybear and just sorta feels like ❔ idgi

つ：sleep with both bears….

あ：oh all the stages of grief a newly healthy amane can have. he's , just a kid, i think it really was like sobs. but likely not in front of parents i think, it's like. you watch your parents freaking out and trying to call the police and going out looking for tsukasa and you're shut down for that. but i think laying alone in bed is like [facedown crying]

and surely just being like . maybe he got lost. maybe he's in the backyard somewhere maybe he saw something…

つ：hnnhnhnnnnn snfsnf.... i imagine mom/dad are also very like... its gonna be okay amane... we'll find him soon.... and he's just . ok.

あ：to his face they are surely placating and reassuring, don't worry son. but i think he can observe as they are frazzled and panicked…

i think amane just has to feel so stupid like. …. i not sick anymore. ………. ………… .. [doesnt. want to do anything outside.] maybe really becoming two bears everywhere boy. its the last thing he touched. ohhh roachie…. oh my god roachie no no no… [intrinsically sad that this is the last thing tsuaksa put his mouth on]

with my new healthy boy body i run around the yard calling tsukasa's name, further devastating my grieving parents inside the house that stupid emotion like, you're gonna find tsukasa asleep under a log or something. he got lost and was on his way home and got tired and fell asleep behind a tree

つ：thinking maybe the police don't know where to look…. you know where tsukasa would go… use your newfound stregt to yell into storm draains. maybe he chased a frog down into one….

あ：amane, bearer of 500 emotions: why tsukasa… why did you have to run outside… [angry] why did you leave me-!!! what did you see something shiny. MG D FHD!!! FDHG [crying] or…. maybe he… he didn't like the birthday….? [devastated] ….. … or, he- [idk imagining him falling into a river] nooo

what if he's in the well

つ：he's in that storm drain

あ：Truly its like. but hte police don't know tsukasa. They don't know he could've been beguiled by a shiny beetle

#22 #playtimes #pre-shinjuu #i

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idiacide · 2 years

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oh i’d love to see that post with all of the twst characters core flaws/vulnerabilities that you’re talking about! you seem to have a really good insight into all the characters so i’d really enjoy hearing your thoughts on the subject

Ok I got a couple of people asking for this so. Here goes. As another reminder: a core vulnerability is not the same thing as a character flaw (though it can have overlap). Rather, its the soft spot, the thing that if poked causes the greatest amount of pain/embarrassment/insecurity/all at once. In some extreme cases their entire personality can be constructed off of trying to reject this part of themselves, while in other cases it may be something they refuse to ever deal with directly. Most notably of all though, from my point of view the core vulnerability is the thing which they are literally unable to fix (if it is something that needs fixing) without someone else's help. Whether its a friend, partner, or even a rival, someone needs to force them to look directly at it.

Also important: the severity of the vulnerability differs from character to character. For characters like Jack or Epel, they may be resistant to dealing with their Issue, but they aren't extremely defensive of it either. For characters like Azul or Leona, though, their own hyper awareness of that vulnerability means that they've built a lot more walls between themselves and the glowing red weak point at their core.

CORE VULNERABILITIES

Riddle Rosehearts: Achievement. This one's an obvious pull (all of the Overblot guys are gonna be pretty obvious). Riddle defines himself entirely by his admittedly large capacities. He's the guy Who's Right. He knows everything worth knowing and he can do everything a promising young mage should be able to do. This contributes to two of his flaws. One: his superiority complex. Like many people who are intelligent and talented, Riddle tends to assume that if other people applied themselves more they could also do what he does, and the fact that they aren't on his level must mean he's simply a Better Person than they are. Two: his extremely tight need for control. This doesnt stem from a need for power, I'd argue, so much as a need for validation. If a person is in charge, it must be because their judgement is correct. If his judgement is questioned, then that must mean he's wrong about something, and that could mean that he isn't getting a Good Grade in being a Person, something that he can't sustain. Thus, dissent has to be wiped out and humiliated as quickly as possible. Otherwise his whole self perception begins to collapse inwards.

Trey Clover: Apathy. Trey gets a reputation as being a generally caring guy. He's the hardworking vice of Heartslabyul, with the patience of a saint to deal with that tyrant's tantrums. Its a convenient fiction for Trey, even if he does grouse about people taking him for too nice a guy. The truth is that Trey doesn't help people out of some deepseated empathy or messiah complex. At his absolute core: Trey just wants a little peace for a change. He wants things to be quiet, he wants to return to the placidity of day to day life. And it kind of doesn't matter what it takes to get it. If everyone is able to pretend that things are fine...then maybe its not worth agitating the waters to actually solve the problem.

Dont get me wrong: Trey's neither fundamentally selfish or uncaring. He really does love the people in his life, and is willing to work for their happiness and healing. As we saw with Riddle, when he gets the kick in the pants he needs to act there's nothing he can't do. But he does need to be kicked. The polite smiles, the quick bandaid solutions, and the ready agreeability are all ultimately the walls around the fact that deep down: he wishes people could keep their shit together for more than five consecutive minutes so he didnt have to do it for them.

Cater Diamond: Loneliness. This is simultaneously extremely obvious and very well-hidden. Cater's been shuffled from place to place his whole life. He's learned how to be personable, how to ingratiate himself with people and make them think of him a certain way. He's fun, adorable Cay-Cay, who's maybe a little obnoxious but such a friendly guy its hard to hate him. At the same time, he refuses to let many people past a surface level friendship. Vulnerability, insecurity? Its not a cute look. It doesnt look good on a Magicam feed. And really, what's the point in letting someone know him that intimately? They'll be out of his life, never to be seen again, one way or another, and he'll be stuck with missing pieces that may never grow back. For Cater, people are fun, they're adorable, they're beautiful, they're essential. But theyre never permanent, and you should never trust them completely with yourself. At the very least: he wants to be in charge of when the strings get cut.

Ace Trappola: Egoism. ("Is that a vulnerability"- yes it is. Give me a second) On some level Ace really and truly does see himself as the main character of one of those movies he'd watch with his brother. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think that the cockiness is meant to cover some deep insecurity. If that were the case, he wouldnt be so ready to stand up for himself when he knows he's in the right. Ace has a hard time conceiving of other people as fully realized individuals with their own wants and needs. While its easy to see how aggravating it is for others, some of its most surprising fallout is directly on him. Its difficult for him to realize that someone's upset with him, much less why. He knows theyre not a mind reader, yet can't really grasp why someone would be hurt by something when he didnt really mean to hurt them. He doesn't contemplate how his actions impact others and can be thrown off completely if something happens that he didnt intend. It makes him defensive, and oftentimes, a lot lonelier than he ever wants to be. Truly, he's not a bad guy. Or a cruel one. Having Ace on your side is having one of the most dedicated fighters you'll ever know to work on your behalf. Its just going to result in a lot of hurt feelings if he's ever forced to confront the fact that "his way or the highway" sometimes means you'll take the highway.

Deuce Spade: Deuce is tricky. Even if he doesnt wear all his flaws on his sleeve he at least wears them just under the surface. Not a lot of secrets with this guy. If I had to pick one thing that really embarrasses him though: his hunger for approval. Deuce spends a lot of time cognizant of the fact that he's let a lot of people down before, and if he wants praise and affection he should have to earn it. At the same time, I think the desire to please at all kind of mortifies him. Deep down it makes him feel greedy and selfish. It feels like he's not actually doing the right thing because its the right thing. He's doing it to get the reward of people thinking well of him. That feels like a dirty motive to him, hence why he spends so much time denying it.

Leona Kingscholar: Caring too much. Ironic from the guy who's entire schtick is that he truly deeply can't be bothered. The truth is, though, I think he'd be much less demotivated if he cared a little less. Leona's curse, at its most fundamental level, is knowing too much. He knows the limitations that have been put on him, exactly how far he will be allowed to go. No matter what he does or how hard he tries: he will never be Falena. He will never be the firstborn. He will never have had a childhood where his gifts were praised, rather than just used as one more reason why he's a disappointment. And what's worse is: he cares. He CARES that he's limited by circumstance. He cares that he will never have the love that's given so freely to his brother. Its why he spends so much time putting up a facade of apathy, and why he gets so angry when people buy into it and chastise him for not trying enough. If he tried, there'd be no avoiding the kind of pain that comes with never going as far as you know you can. Every effort he puts him makes him that much more aware that what he really wants is forever out of his reach. Better to seal that core a million miles away, and pray that eventually, it goes away for real.

Ruggie Bucchi: Insufficiency. Much like his housewarden Ruggie is simultaneously hypercompetent while being deeply aware of his own limitations. For however clever, tricky, and hardworking he is: he's still a hyena from the backend of nowhere. On some level he knows he'll never be able to make the changes he wants to see in the world. Not without help. Its even engrained in his Signature Spell: for someone to Laugh with You...there has to be someone who cares to listen at all. Unlike Leona, putting up a front of laziness isn't an option for Ruggie. He may get called a bootlicker, may hate himself for the people he'll suck up to...but in the end, won't it be worth it if he gets what he needs? He's not enough on his own. He needs to amplify his voice through a roar that carries louder. And maybe someday, that power will be given to him directly, instead of by a proxy...

Jack Howl: Resentment and envy. He has a code of ethics that he sticks to no matter what: you get what you can take with your own hands. No more and no less. If you can't win it on your own power then what's the point in whining. Just get stronger, push yourself further, till its finally within your grasp. Its a philosophy that works for him, and he's certainly not planning on letting it go anytime soon. He'd rather die than be dishonourable. At the same time though...there's something about geniuses. People born with talent. Who could roll out of bed ready to mop the floor with the competition...and people who can't be bothered to put in the effort. This is a VERY small vulnerability. For the most part Jack believes in his own ability to work his way towards any goal. Even if the odds are stacked against him, he'll triumph. But at the same time it drives him insane that other people, especially people who he KNOWS could be doing better, can't understand that very simple truth. This isnt hard. Why dont they get it. Why dont they TRY. And why...cant he beat them when he cares so much more than them.

Azul Ashengrotto: Really, his whole personality is a core vulnerability. To make it a little more succinct, though, Im settling on Being Unmasked. Azul doesn't really see himself as a person who's grown and changed and developed since he was little. Deep down, he's still firmly convinced that he's that stupid crybaby octopus who no one wanted to play with, and if he isnt careful everyone will find out and turn on him. Its part of why he's so greedy for scamming others out of their talents. Its one more layer to the cover story, so that no one will be able to look beneath. The truth is that he HAS grown so much since he was little. He's gotten a lot more able to process his emotions. He doesn't crumble in the face of bullies, he instead flips the situation to his advantage. More than that, he's cultivated his diligence and intellect into genuinely admirable qualities that could easily stand on their own two feet (or, 8 legs). He doesnt need the masks. He's just been too scared to find that out on his own.

Jade Leech: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. The twins are hard for this kind of exercise, because the twins dont really conceptualize anything about themselves as something to be ashamed of. That doesn't mean that they think they're perfect or flawless or anything. Just that they don't really see a need to beat themselves up over it. Its not good or bad. Its just how they are. Jade in particular tends to turn his weaknesses into strength.

So why have I settled on this one? Jade clearly has no trouble putting himself in a backseat role. Indeed, he does it intentionally, seeking out stronger personalities and ambitious individuals to throw his lot in with. The side effect of this, though. Is that a LOT of people tend to project onto him. This is the case even with people who are theoretically close to him, like Azul. At times it can feel like no one knows the real Jade, and the little glimpses he does give them only serve to chase them off. It doesn't particularly bother him from an emotional standpoint, and yet Id argue that there's the occasional glimpses of him wanting to show what he can really do on his own (Bean day being a big one, he's so unusually personable and self motivated when his brother and Azul arent around), and being just a littttle bit irritated with people who buy so easily into his many facades. No one knowing who you are can be a big benefit in his line of worker. But sometimes...you want to be seen for yourself.

Floyd Leech: His brother. Again, Floyd doesnt really DO insecurity or masking. He is who he is, and he couldn't change it even if he wanted to. What's the point in getting all worked up about it? He's definitely not jealous of Jade by any means. He loves his brother, is proud of who he is. Why would he ever want to be Jade? Jade is Jade. As a result, though, it really does piss him off a little how often theyre compared. Jade is Jade. He's great but what does that have to do with him? Its annoying. Makes him feel like he has something he needs to prove, but in that frustrating itchy way that makes him want to start breaking stuff. Starting with whoever keeps trying to make him feel like he needs to compete.

Kalim Al-Asim: Went in-depth in the previous post. His title.

Jamil Viper: Jealousy. Its not his biggest flaw but it is the one he has the most self loathing about. Because its always directed at people he secretly sees as inferior. It stings that much more for it. He hates feeling envious of people who he knows he's better than in so many ways, and its the most likely thing in the world to kickstart his cruel streak. He lashes out because it easier than confronting the genuine inadequacy he feels at his core. Like maybe if he was a little stronger, a little more talented, a little more charismatic, whatever it is they have that he lacks...maybe then he wouldnt have been overlooked. Maybe someone would notice how much pain he's in then.

Vil Schoenheit: Insecurity. He shouldnt be flawed enough to be insecure, full stop. Vil's gotten beyond the point of punishing himself for perceived faults, into punishing himself for feeling like he has to punish himself. If he was really perfect, there wouldnt be any insecurity, would there? Its a decidedly neurotic way of being in the world. Makes him prone to self obsession like nothing else, as well as to lashing out at others when their praise feels too condescending. Are you suggesting he doesn't KNOW hes perfect? Intolerable. Die.

Rook Hunt: Rook is a man composed of nothing but walls and misdirects. Its rare to hear from him on his own emotional state. He spends far more time reacting to the feelings and desires of everyone around him. Furthermore, he's not a guy with a very extensive relationship with shame. People finding him weird or offputting is met with a smile and a laugh. As such Im mostly resorting to speculation here. If I had to guess what's tucked under that big hat of is, I'd say Rook has a far more extensive relationship with anger than he'd ever be willing to let anyone see. He keeps a very VERY tight grip on it, quick to accommodate the large egos around him and even quicker to brush over slights and make piece. But I don't think he ever really forgets, and very rarely does he completely forgive. The only time he'll let his anger really go to work is on behalf of others. And its only then that one can get a glimpse of just how terrifying this man could be as a proper enemy.

Epel Felmier: Gender presentation. I don't really fall into the camp of "Epel doesn't like being perceived as girly therefore he's a misogynist". Maybe its trans guy projection but there's a difference between feeling insecure about your masculinity and being disgusted by women. Its easy to say "it should be enough to be secure in who you are", but when there's a perpetual disconnect between who you are and how you're treated because of your looks I think its understandable to want to distance yourself as much as possible from your public perception. (Maybe Book 5 will change my mind, who knows). The reason its the core though is that I'd argue his issues run a lot deeper than getting annoyed when someone asks if he's a girl. Epel's real problem is...he actually does LIKE some of this stuff. His time at Pomefiore means that he's come to respect the work that Rook and Vil put in, as well as the general importance of beauty. He's even come to appreciate some of it aesthetically. Something can look "girly" and still meet his standards for cool. But by now...it feels like he's not ALLOWED to admit he enjoys it. It feels like an admission of defeat, like people are just waiting for him to admit he likes some of this stuff to go "see, I knew you were like that all along". His pride won't allow it. So he feels perpetually caught, forced to maintain a specific performance for the rest of his life just to get the scraps of the treatment he wants.

Idia Shroud: Idia's a rare case where the core vulnerability isn't surrounded by walls. His core vulnerability IS the wall, that deflects from his other character flaws. Idia has a darker side. He's possessive, scheming, and has an arrogance and capacity for cruelty that often goes uncommented on. None of this troubles him more, though, than his terror of failure. Its not hard for Idia to feel rejected and misunderstood just by virtue of existing. How much more so on the event that he actually fucks up. Better to scheme and plan and hide until he's certain nothing can go wrong. It makes him slow to act, makes him terrified of being stuck without his scripts and gadgets and plans. He hates this about himself more than anything, the fact that he cant ever feel in command of a situation just by entering it. In the end, though, leaning on that fear is the only way he knows how to keep all the balls in the air.

Ortho Shroud: Imposter syndrome. Its rough being built to replace someone who vanished under such tragic circumstances. Ortho works hard to keep up his cheery disposition. He's meant to balance Idia, be the perfect younger brother and keep him from falling into despair while he works towards his goals. He loves Idia, he truly does, and wants to make him as happy as possible. At the same time though, he can never fully escape his predecessor. No matter how much he tries. Though he'd never admit it, there are times when he resents even being asked. As much as he loves his big brother...is this really all he is? Just a way to fill that void? And why cant he stop feeling so guilty for not being able to fill it better? Would Idia be happier if the real Ortho were here? Would he be braver, come out of his room more, finally live up to all that potential?

What is he doing wrong?

Malleus Draconia: His desire to be recognized by others. Its not like he's struggling for praise. He's been on a pedestal his whole life, praised for everything. He's the Briar Prince from out of time, one of the most accomplished magicians of the age, and a powerful force in his own right. So...its more than a little humiliating to feel like really all you want is to be treated like a friend. He pretends it doesnt bother him when he's constantly overlooked and excluded, because he cant imagine anything more degrading than letting them see that it DOES impact him. It will come to a boiling point soon enough. But for now he just tries to let Lilia and Silver fill the gap as much as they're able.

Lilia Vanrouge: When you get as old as Lilia does you learn to stop hiding from yourself. Immortality (or at least functional immortality) means that eventually you get bored with your own insecurities. Might as well either change them or accept them. As a result, vulnerability has a softer meaning for Lilia: its his children. He's not in denial, exactly, and yet how much he truly values them tends to be a little unspoken. He's more a playmate than a father at times. Make no mistake though: anyone who messes with them will make one of the most dangerous enemies in the world.

Sebek Zigvolt: His humanity (well. Half-humanity). Sometimes it really is that straightforward. We're learning about Briar Valley in bits and pieces. Humans may not be an underclass, necessarily, but I think its fair to say that they're held at arms length given how much pushback his mother received for marrying a human (especially a magicless one). And that TERRIFIES Sebek, a guy who wants approval from all relevant authority figures as fast as he can get it. It terrifies him to feel like he's been disqualified from something by virtue of birth. As a result, he lashes out at people closer to humanity than him and sucks up endlessly to fullborn faeries, hoping that they'll be able to validate him by proxy. He can grow out of this in time. But for now he feels himself teetering on the edge of some kind of abyss. He'll claw as hard as he can so no one will push him into it.

Silver: Shockingly functional bitch, considering the circumstances of his life. However, his core vulnerability is a mirror to Lilia. Silver's core vulnerability is his father. Largely, this is positive. Silver would do anything to keep his father safe and repay him for raising him. They have a warm and affectionate relationship, if a little odd by human standards. But unlike Lilia I think there really is a dark side to Silver's vulnerability. For as many lengths as Lilia went to to make sure he never felt inferior, children compare themselves to their parents. Its hard for Silver not to notice his own faults when he's put next to Lilia, Malleus, or even Sebek. And that's a hurdle. How is he supposed to repay them when his efforts must seem so laughable and meaningless? What can he provide that they couldnt obtain themselves without effort?

What good is he?

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cinnamonest · 3 years

Text

Razor (Genshin Impact) - Yandere Profile

@bleachlemon

I'm glad you are ok with it because oh boy do I have some very very n a s t y noncon-y thoughts about our wolfboi. We love a dense boy, not a single thought in his empty, horny lil brain. Head empty, just horny for y/n.

I also have the big horny™ for any cross between boys and canines... Does smth for me. As if my favoritism wasn't obvious by how much I've written below lmao

tw: general yandere content, violence, mentions of n/sfw

tw below cut: breeding, heavy noncon, like jfc this is nasty, misogynistic

----

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

The biggest issue with Razor is his complete and total lack of restraint. He sees no need for it, he has no real concept of social norms. Wolves don't really practice restraint on... anything. When they see something they want to kill, they kill it, when they see something they want to have, they have it, when they're mad, they attack, when they're hungry, they eat.

So in a way, he's perfectly lucid, but doesn't act as a normal lucid person who understands social norms would do. He knows that you give him some burning, fluttery feeling, and that he enjoys having you around, and that he gets sad when you have to leave. He's perceptive enough to know it's the same urge that drives humans to form their long-term mate partnerships. If that's what they refer to as "love," he'll readily adopt that term as a way to describe what he feels. What he doesn't get is everything between point A and point Z. No point in all the "courtship" and "marriage" and other human customs -- he doesn't need to "date" to know you're the one, and he doesn't need some signed paper to signify he loves you. In his mind, it's perfectly logical to expect you to immediately come live out in Wolvendom with him. You did accept all his courtship signs, after all.

Wolves are very straightforward with it, you see. Their courtship includes going for walks side-by-side, close to each other, which you did when you let him guide you through the woods. Wolves will rest their head or legs on the other, and you let him rest his head on your shoulder (even if you flinched with surprise when he did, uncomfortable but too nice to say anything). He even when to the extent of engaging in human mating rituals -- you accepted all those gifts he hunted down, and you smiled when he said nice things about how pretty you are, how nice you smell.

So in other words, you've basically already accepted him as a mate. That's what he's perceived, and changing his initial perceptions is not easily accomplished.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

One of the most likely, and definitely the fastest. Possibly after meeting you a single time. He can't take the risk of you not coming back.

He won't be very subtle or sneaky about it either, not tricking you into walking right into captivity, nor drugging you or taking you in your sleep. It's very straightforward - it's not like there's anyone in Wolvendom to hear you, so he has no problem just slinging you over his shoulder and carrying you off. He kinda gets why you'd panic, so he reassures you that no, he's not gonna eat you or anything, you're just going home.

Don't worry about the pack - they won't eat you either, or even hurt you. He's already told them not to. He gets why you might be frightened by the massive, snarling creatures and their massive teeth and eyes that shine in moonlight, but he'll make sure you get used to them and accept them as your family, just like he has.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

That depends. Can you fight off two 180-pound masses of claws, teeth, and muscle? If so, sure, it'll be easy. If not... you'll have some issues.

He's lucky to have such a loyal pack that will help him with these things - they don't exactly understand why you'd want to leave, but they know you're not supposed to. Even when he has to leave you, which isn't often, he'll leave a few of them around to watch you. To make sure no one comes and steals you or anything - and of course, the implication that it's to make sure you don't run away, either. He doesn't really get why you would, but he's come to the realization, based on what you've tried to tell him, that you miss your family and friends. And he gets that, he really does, but in the end, he's selfish at his core, and his empathy for you isn't enough for him to just let you go.

He sleeps latched onto you, arms wrapped around you, so it's not a good idea to try. Your best bet is to wait for a time he's gone and distract the wolves with something, which isn't too hard, and run for it. But even if you do manage to escape, you won't be for long. They can smell you from a mile away and will use your scent to pinpoint you down within a few minutes. They don't exactly have any gentle ways of taking you down and bringing you back, either. They're basically going to have to use their teeth, so it's better if you don't struggle - you'll just hurt yourself.

If he catches you, though, he'll just get huffy and angry, and much like when initially taking you, he'll just pick you right up and bring you back. He's not opposed to stealing ropes and the like from the passing knights, and tying knots isn't too difficult to figure out.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Poor boy is very easy to lie to and manipulate. Head empty, not many thoughts up there. However, you'll have to be clever about it, because most of the time, even if he believes you, he doesn't care. Sure, you can easily convince him that it's normal for human couples to sleep separately... But that's not going to stop him from curling up with you, because that's what he does. That's what wolves do.

He will, however, be somewhat easily manipulated into getting you things you want, if he thinks it'll make you happy. However, obtaining things you want will almost definitely come in the form of theft, or worst case scenario, the body of a passer-by that just so happened to have something you wanted visibly on their person.

If he finds out you lied to him on something, he'll get pouty and grumpy. It's not pleasant, but it's better than the rage reaction of some yanderes.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

His life revolves around you, and yours should revolve around him. That's how mates are. You can go for walks in the woods! You can take naps in the sun together! You can spend literal hours mating! Why would you need anything else?

That being said, he's always had a uniqueness from the wolves in that he's awake more - wolves sleep about 14 hours a day, him only about 8 or 9. You'll definitely be getting a lot more sleep than you would back home, but you'll have a few precious hours to yourselves. It makes him happy - it used to be time he spent all alone, a reminder of how he didn't truly fit in with humans nor wolves. But now, you have that time together! He's willing to do most anything you want, so long as you're together. He's always had some adaptative differences he practices by himself - making fires, cooking food on them, wearing clothes. If you want to go exploring, you can do that, if you want to make food, you can do that too. He'll even accommodate you if you want to do useless things, like your insistence on teaching him to read, or practicing his speech.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

It's fairly simple. Don't leave. That's really the one big one.

He's actually not one to make a rule against fighting him - he'll see it as you wanting to play fight, wrestling, which wolves do all the time. It's fun, even if it's easy for him to win. And it's exciting when you fight back, in a weird way.

Don't make contact with other humans, if you see them. Oh, and he'll want you to report to him everything you did or saw while he was gone hunting.

Generally, if he gives you a command, which isn't too much, he expects you to follow it. In his mind, he's the male, he's supposed to tell you what to do. Isn't that how it usually works with humans too?

If you're too disobedient, he'll get grumpy. Honestly, his most likely form of dealing with it is to wrestle you to the ground, and essentially hold you down until you comply or agree to whatever he wants.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Rip.

But seriously. No, they're not going to last. He's one of the more paranoid ones, because deep down he's aware of how little he understands. For all he knows, every human male that talks to you could be doing what you call "flirting." Hell, didn't some girls like other girls too? How does he know which ones do and which ones don't? That means everyone is a threat, and he can't let threats get in the way.

He's not one of the ones to be subtle or try to hide it from you. He will probably try a little bit if he knows it's one of your family or friends whose blood is soaking his clothes when he comes back to you, but if it's random, he might even be proud. Look at that, he took down a whole search party that came looking for you all by himself! It's proof of his strength and dominance, and you should be happy that you have a strong mate to protect you! And he doesn't really empathize well - if you're upset, he will explain exactly that to you, and insist you change how you see things. Humans are so strange, being upset that your mate is able to protect you. You'll see why it's a good thing eventually, he's sure.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

He gets frustrated pretty easily. It's usually just a lack of understanding, in his mind, you're being unnecessarily difficult almost all the time. He has told you a million times he doesn't care about whatever is normal for humans, yet you continuously bring it up, and that's a bit irritating. He'll huff and sigh and clamp a hand over your mouth if you're going on about it, and if you really refuse to shut up about it, there are a variety of ways of making you quiet - or distracting you from complaints.

He's got an immature streak, as he never really had anyone around to teach him otherwise. So he gets very pouty, a little bit aggressive and forceful when it comes to being upset over something or getting his way. If he wants attention and you're not giving it to him, he won't hesitate to just take whatever you're holding and focused on of your hands and toss it to the side.

On the positive side, he's never going to be passive aggressive. He's always straightforward and has no hesitation to tell you exactly how he's feeling.

If he's genuinely, truly furious, he can get violent. He'll probably apologize and definitely feel bad, licking all the little wounds. He wouldn't try to do anything so bad as bone breaking or severely hurting you, but might accidentally lose control of his own strength.

Do they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

More or less an equal. Not much to say here, as, to be honest, that sort of thing hasn't really crossed his mind. He doesn't waste time with thoughts of relative value, he just knows he loves you and wants you.

Subconsciously, it would be slightly below. Due to a very natural upbringing, he automatically associates males as being the leaders and alphas, while females are... Well, puppy-making machines. Don't try to accuse him of any sort of sexism or anything - he can't even really wrap his head around the concept, much less understand why it's wrong to acknowledge how much weaker you are than him. If you need proof of that, he can easily wrestle with you and prove it.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Pretty highly determined. He mistakes a lot of things as signs of love, though. You might be only complying out of fear or exhaustion, but he won't be able to tell, he's not good with facial expressions, so he thinks it's a sign you're accepting him.

Honestly, he's one of the ones that, albeit unintentionally, will kind of guilt you into acceptance. You inevitably feel bad for him, you can tell how lonely he really is, and how desperately he loves you, wants you to love him. His intentions aren't malicious, and it's actually difficult to truly resent him, unlike some yanderes. Ironically, it reaches a point where rejecting him sometimes really does feel like kicking a sad little stray puppy in the rain - it makes you feel awful when he gets sad and quiet.

While there are a lot of yanderes who would be a lot more earnest and striving to serve and please you, which he doesn't really do, he's probably one of the most patient yanderes when it comes to this. He doesn't care if it takes the rest of your lives. He'll never give up or just settle for having you with him, he'll be loving you and trying to be reassured of your love till the day he dies, if that's what it takes.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Primarily, it's hard to emphasize how significantly his lack of human socialization impacts his yandere behaviors.

Most yanderes are forced to acknowledge the inherent wrongness of their actions - some will accept it and not care that it's wrong, some sadists enjoy knowing it's wrong, some will delude themselves into justifying it, some will try their best to act within moral boundaries or make up for their wrongness somehow. But all in all, they all have to face the reality of the situation and understand that what they're doing is considered wrong.

Razor's not like that. He doesn't really take the moral aspect into consideration. To him, the whole idea is simply a human thing entirely. It doesn't matter what humans do. He views the world in a very black and white sense. Morality is a more abstract concept, what's more important is how things are relative to himself - what he wants.

Tends to communicate in strange ways. Excess emotions, too much happiness or anger or whatever can make him forget his words, so there's a lot of subtle communication through grunts, whimpers, growls. Over time, you learn how to distinguish between the various noises and body language and what they mean.

Will lick you. It's weird. It's kinda gross. But it's just how he shows affection. He tends to get carried away with kisses, ending up lapping at your lips, licking your neck and collarbones, nuzzling his head into you.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Scientifically speaking, male sex drive is heavily boosted by testosterone. Testosterone can be greatly increased by heavy physical activity, eating high amounts of meat, sun exposure, and is even directly correlated to spending large amounts of time outdoors.

You see where this is going.

Very high drive, very touchy, and no reservations, no shame. Thank whatever deity you care to recognize in Tevyat that you're isolated from other people out in the woods, because he has no concept of norms or appropriateness, and trying to get him to understand is a fruitless effort. You're wasting your time trying to explain the idea that groping and touching out of the blue is considered rude, or that most human men take issue with being very visibly, very noticeably hard and would likely try to conceal it, not just sit there with the blatant bulge poking forward... His response will only be that you're far away from humans, so it shouldn't matter. He's just trying to show you he loves you, that's why he insists on grinding into you all the time, staring at your body, humping you when you're curled up together quite ironically like a horny dog.

Unfortunately, he basically just does not know how to be gentle or slow about it. He can start off trying to be slow and soft if you beg for it, but once you're actually laying there and he's in you, he gets caught up in instinct and the heat of the moment, and just kinda... forgets about that whole "slow and gentle" thing, opting to just rut you as hard and fast as possible.

He doesn't talk much during sex. He already has some trouble forming sentences in normal times, you can't expect him to when he's fucking. You won't get a lot of words besides the occasional, "good, feels good," or little commands, but you will get a lot of animalistic noises - possessive growls, little whines of pleasure. He doesn't have any sense to hold back on his noises.

He's also the least likely to care about things like shaving, periods, or imperfections. Which is good, but you also can't use those things as an excuse to not fuck, it'll go in one ear and out the other.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

It's not so much an intentional disregard for your willingness, so much as a combo of not really considering it, and thinking it's just something you'll change on. If he's human, and he has the urge, that means surely you do too. Sometimes humans need emotional connections before they want to mate, right? So he just needs to express his love to you. The looping problem there is that fucking you is pretty much his primary way of expressing love. It'll work out in the end, he guesses.

His limited knowledge of humanity also will lead him to certain conclusions. From what he understands, human society often shames females for having sex and wanting sex, right? That's dumb. But their mentality is probably ingrained in your brain, isn't it? That's why you act like this. But don't worry, he's not like the human men. Wolves don't feel that way. You'll understand that with time.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Biting/Scratching/Marking

It's a natural reaction to him. If he's balls deep in you, mounted on and pounding into your body, thrusting so hard that your body is lurching forward with every movement, he wants a way to hold you still, keep your body in place so that each pounding goes deeper and harder. It's second nature for him to just sink his teeth into your jugular, your neck, your shoulders. As an added bonus, he likes seeing the marks it leaves behind, in addition to how his fingernails that dig into your hips leave little indents in your skin.

Breeding

He doesn't know how to not cum in you. You can't honestly expect him to pull out of you, you're so warm and wet and soft, it would be torture not to reach a climax buried inside that tight heat. You can go on a rant about not wanting to get pregnant, but it'll go in one ear and out the other. He doesn't get it - you're supposed to want to have his pups. Do you not think he's a suitable mate for reproducing? You'll be halfway through explaining why kids aren't in your current agenda before being flipped over and pounded into yet again with his newfound determination to prove his strength and dominance to you. Once you understand that, surely, you'll want all the puppies you can possibly make.

Predator/Prey

This applies mostly to escape attempts. He'll be mad, but it triggers something in him, something instilled by years of hunting down poor little prey animals. The desire to hunt you down, find you, and ruin you. Instead of ripping you apart like he would boars, he can't think of anything but just fucking you up against the nearest tree, the ground, anything. The faster you run, the more afraid you are, the more exciting it is. It's a very primal urge, one that commands all sorts of predators, both in feeding and breeding.

Forced Orgasms

As with many human things, he makes certain discoveries with time about sex. The first time you fuck, it'll probably be too rough for you to really cum, but it'll only be a few days in before your body adjusts to the girth that's frequently inside of you, and you end up spasming all over him - and he's just got this shocked expression, watching with amazement when you clench down and quiver under him. Wait, you mean human females can orgasm too? Not just the men?

From that point forward, he's determined to fuck, lick, grind, and force every orgasm out of you as physically possible. It makes him feel a weird sort of pride and contentment. It's one of the few things that makes him a big smug. Even if you feel like you can't possibly cum any more, he'll try anyway.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

It's your purpose! He has learned that human girls only have one baby at a time, sometimes two, which is nothing compared to how many pups wolves usually have in one litter. That means that you'll have to make up for the lack of quantity of pups with quantity of pregnancies, which means constantly breeding and breeding and making sure every last drop stays inside of you. He doesn't understand why humans would even want to prevent pregnancy, it's the best thing that can happen, it's the whole reason you're alive, and it's a sign that you're his. Like with most things, he knows eventually you'll come around. Once you actually have the pups there in front of you, you'll love it. He knows you will.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

He's a little lacking on the thought process behind punishing. If he's mad, it tends to cloud his thoughts, reverting to a more animalistic state, and he's not gonna have the complex thoughts required to really think through punishment, so it's not gonna be anything complex.

Doesn't really matter, if he's mad, just fucking you is going to feel like a punishment, with him slamming you into the ground, a tree, any rough surface nearby and just rutting you, claw-like fingernails digging into your skin and teeth sinking into your shoulder to hold you in place, a hand clasped around your throat. Fucking is basically the primary outlet he chooses for his emotions, happiness, love, stress, and anger alike, a simple, primal form of expression. If he's mad, he just needs to take it out on something, release all of that force and energy into rough, brutal motions. Normally when he's angry, he'll go hunt down some animal, taking all that anger out on the kill. But, recently he's learned he actually quite prefers to release his anger this way. It's more satisfying and enjoyable, and it deters you from stepping out of line, too. It's not just your average slightly rough fucking, no, it's the kind of fucking that will genuinely hurt you, rutting you over and over until your insides are burning from friction, your walls and cervix so completely bruised and abused you'll feel the throbbing soreness with every movement for days, hands leaving massive bruises all across your hips and shoulders. Not that that's any excuse to not fuck more, no, no soreness will get you out of normal daily routine.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

He has a thing for breasts. They're very unique to humans, it's something he hasn't had the opportunity to see or understand, and he'll spend a lot of time just burying his face in them, licking and sucking. Big or small, doesn't matter. He just likes them.

One more nasty HC i can't not talk about

wait, you mean humans have sex... Facing each other? There are positions other than doggy? It's all he's ever seen. Porn and the internet don't exactly exist in this world. The whole concept blows his mind. He can fuck you AND see your face while he does? He'll nearly faint right then and there, and you'll regret bringing it up once you've gone numb from the repetitive pounding. He'll start asking you what else exists out there, his brain will start thinking of all the different ways to fuck he's never thought about. Once he learns you can ride him, he's in heaven, even if it's not so much riding so much as you sitting on his cock and him bouncing you up and down with such ferocity you can't even move your legs.

Speaking of things he doesn't know about, if you're smart, you make sure he doesn't find out about blowjobs. He'll love it, and it won't be a blowjob so much as him literally fucking your throat, grabbing your head and hair and just wrecking your mouth.

None of it is him trying to hurt you, really. He just doesn't understand how to be gentle. He might get better with time, but he's got a predator-born ferocity, a primal roughness that will always be a part of his nature.

(yes i did research on wolf courtship/mating rituals for this bc i suffer for my art)

#yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere razor #tw: noncon #tw: dark content #yandere profile #tw: misogyny

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baya-ni · 3 years

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Renga Shouldn’t Be Canon (clickbait)

No but seriously, I hope that Renga doesn’t become canon, at least not in the way that I think a lot of people are hoping that it will. Personally, I’m not expecting anything close to a kiss and confession and that’s fine by me.

Queerbaiting is a problem in mainstream media, there’s no doubt about it, and many people both within and outside the queer community are right to feel wary about hoping for that kind of representation. Personally, I’m still caught by surprise every time a queer person or couple is depicted in a normalized and healthy way onscreen. And that just speaks to the appallingly poor representation queer people are so used to seeing.

But I think that fandom likes to throw the word “queerbaiting” around a bit haphazardly, much in the same way faux woke people throw around words like “gaslighting” and “cancel culture”. They’ve become buzz words to evoke immediate feelings of self-righteousness and to prey on person’s fear of appearing ignorant or bigoted.

Unfortunately, I worry that when the season inevitably ends without Renga’s “canonization”, people will unfairly label Sk8 as Queerbait. And I have many Feelings about this- mostly frustration.

But we’re only mid-season. I can only guess where the show is going to go and only make assumptions about fandom behavior based on personal experience, and there’s a high possibility I’ll be proven totally wrong so... take whatever I say with a grain of salt. But anyway, let’s get on with it.

Fundamentally, Sk8 isn’t shoujo, it’s not BL- it’s a sports anime. And while that doesn’t preclude a total absence of romance between its characters, ultimately those aren’t the kinds of relationships that sports anime concerns itself with. The most prominent relationships you’ll see will be more along the lines of Teammates and Rivals (there's also a third dynamic I'm calling Opponents which is Not the same as Rivals but the Opponents dynamic is less relevant to my point so I'll focus on just the first two).

However, it's not hard to see why romantic interpretations are so common among fans of sports anime. At their core, the basis of Teammate and Rival dynamics bear many similarities to that of a compelling romance. Both Teammate and Rival relationships are built upon two characters' mutual admiration and respect for one another, they involve characters learning from one another and being inspired to push themselves to be their best. There's a great deal of trust involved, as is vulnerability, communication, and empathy. In other words, all the essentials of any healthy relationship.

But context and genre are important. I think that a good romance is one that is unique to its characters specific personalities and needs, as well as is believable within the context of the setting and story. For an anime like Sk8, I would find an on-screen kiss strange and out of place (unless it was done for comedic effect which would be... bad).

I'm reminded of this quote from Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is one of my all time favorite films:

"Do all lovers feel as though they are inventing something? I know the gestures. I imagined them all waiting for you."

And that basically sums up what I've described, albeit more poetically. Love is invention. Romantic gestures form a unique language between lovers. And if I may add, genre and narrative establish the basis for the emotional significance of these gestures.

In a genre like action/thriller, one of the most meaningful things a character can do is risk their safety or straight up sacrifice themselves for another, because bodily harm and physical risks drive the tension in these kinds of narratives. In the romance genre, confessions, physical intimacy, and grand romantic displays serve the same purpose. In something like sports anime, I argue that its gestures like physically accommodating for your teammate, supporting them when they feel dejected, and being motivated to train harder and be better for the sake of being allowed to stand beside them, that hold equivalent significance.

But this is all broadly speaking, and genre is just one element. Characters’ personalities, habits, insecurities, and trauma, as well as a story’s themes, further specify the kinds of gestures that hold the most meaning in a narrative.

Let’s look again at Portrait of a Lady on Fire, on my favorite scenes:

Portrait is interested in subverting the power imbalance inherent between the Artist and the Muse, the Voyeur and the Subject, the Looker and she who is Looked At. Heloise’s observations of Marianne hold great significance because of this theme; she disrupts the power imbalance by taking back agency as the Subject, demonstrating that she is just as capable of Looking at the Artist just as the Artist does at her. This is visually represented by the framing of the final shot. With the camera pulled back, we now see Marianne as Heloise has been seeing her, and she is now subject to being visually scrutinized in the same way that Heloise has been up to this point in the film.

This scene is so poignant because the romantic gesture it depicts ties heavily to the story’s themes, its characters’ personalities, and its existence is believable within its genre.

Now, let’s bring this all back to Sk8. In this show, what sort of gestures are given the most significance?

Skateboarding. Duh.

Basically, this line establishes that “basis for emotional significance” that I mentioned earlier, such that skating is the means by which characters and relationships are developed and the plot is driven forward, that any and everything related to skating potentially holds symbolic meaning.

And specifically, equating the act of skating to love then allows for more romantic interpretations of all kinds of scenes. Take for example, these parallel sets of shots from ep 1:

(I mean cmon look at his tiny blush, it’s fucking adorable) And:

In a show that equates skating to a “ritual of love”, these scenes can be realistically be interpreted as Langa and Reki falling in love with one another. Skating acts as both the catalyst for their relationship as well as later on being the means by which they express their feelings and develop their relationship.

Skating is their love language.

Ok, I’ll try to wrap this up since this post has gotten wayyy too long. But basically my point is that Renga is about as canon as this show could possibly make it within the confines of its genre and narrative. Romance in sports anime is different from romance in shoujo, but it’s romance all the same, in the same way that different people express love in different ways.

A kiss and confession is not the only means by which a ship can become canon. And I personally would much rather have this kind of carefully crafted symbolism than a kiss just randomly shoehorned in.

But I understand that in the face of centuries of censorship, cop-outs, and barely believable and forced heteronormativity, people want same-sex intimacy onscreen, unapologetic and normalized. I get that.

But in my opinion, Sk8 isn’t queerbait, and it shouldn’t be accused as such just because its characters won’t kiss onscreen. I think this show depicts a wonderful and loving relationship between two boys, that isn’t any less loving just because it doesn’t fit into conventional romantic tropes.

Edit: I did a followup post about Sk8 and its queer representation here, where I go more in depth into the ways that Sk8 represents queerness through beyond its implied homo-romantic relationships.

So yeah, I’d love to hear yalls thoughts :)

#this is gonna get me cancelled #i kno it to be true #but Some Bitches like to reduce romance to kissing and sex #which is the smoothest fucking brain take i have EVER heard #gay ppl invented romance #Good Romance #i don't make the rules #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sk8 meta #renga kyan #langa hasegawa #renga

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qitwrites · 3 years

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Kirishima stays behind in the gym most evenings. This is not news to anyone, nor is it uncommon.

He usually outstays everyone actually. His stamina seems to be endless, and his quirk relies on his physical health and his ability to increase and extend his limits. So, Kirishima stays, and he trains, and he smiles the whole time. He pumps iron like a madman but makes sure to stay (barely) within his limits.

Tokoyami is aware of Kirishima’s gym habits, so he isn’t surprised when he backtracks one day to pick up a towel he’d left on one of the stands, only to find Kirishima in the room even though it’s late evening. It isn’t anything worth noting.

What is weird though is seeing him sitting cross-legged on the floor, right in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors, his face almost glued to his reflection. He’s leaning with his hands on his knees, and Tokoyami’s sure his forehead is touching the mirror.

The red head just stares at his reflection, and Tokoyami realizes that Kirishima is so absorbed in whatever it is that he’s doing that he doesn’t even realize the beaked hero is in the room. Tokoyami cocks his head to the side and decides to wait a minute before making his presence known.

Moments later, Kirishima hardens himself. More specifically, he hardens himself from the neck up, his arms and legs still soft and unchanged. It’s still nothing too out of the ordinary, except the face-plastered-to-the-mirror-while-on-the-floor bit.

7 seconds later, Kirishima takes a deep breath and grunts, hardening further. Layers and layers of hardening stack up like a deck of cards, and Tokoyami swallows back a chirp of amazement as he witnesses Kirishima go into Unbreakable form, his face and neck jagged and sharp. It’s mesmerizing almost, his diamond like appearance, the way it makes the vertebrae on the back of his neck jut out like a protective armor, the way even his hair hardens, though he’s left it in a pony right now.

And his eyes. Kirishima’s eyes look fierce, fiery, and so menacing. Tokoyami watches him in awe.

Kirishima continues to stay on the floor, staring at his reflection in Unbreakable. Reading his expressions might be difficult when his face is literally like a slab of well sculpted marble, not soft or malleable enough to form expressions and convey emotions, but Tokoyami can tell he’s furrowing his brow. He can see the frustration dancing in his brown-red eyes, and a few more seconds later Kirishima drops his quirk entirely. His vertebrae melt back into his neck, his cheeks are soft and fluffy, his hair puffy, and his eyes-

Sad. Thoughtful. Frustrated.

Tokoyami clears his throat. ‘Excuse me.’

Kirishima whips his head around with a surprised look on his face. He breaks into a grin when he sees Tokoyami.

‘What’s up man?’

Tokoyami points at the stands near Kirishima, slowly making his way towards it. ‘I seem to have left my towel here, I wish to pick it up so I may wash it before our next sessions.’

Kirishima looks at the stand and nods in understanding. ‘Gotcha! Please go ahead.’ He gives him a thumbs up.

Tokoyami picks up the familiar black towel with its deep purple border. The material is familiar and deceptively soft, and it smells like him. He hugs it to his chest and takes a step back before turning to look at Kirishima. The redhead catches his stare in the mirror and looks up, throwing him a quizzical smile.

‘Pardon the intrusion,’ Tokoyami starts softly, fidgeting with the towel. ‘I happened to walk in while you engaged your quirk, and I am unable to understand your intentions.’

Kirishima’s face pales instantly. ‘Oh shit, you saw that? I swear, I’m not using my quirk for anything weird, I know we aren’t supposed to use it outside of hero stuff yet but please don’t tell anyone, I really don-‘

‘Ah, you misunderstand,’ Tokoyami interrupts. ‘I do not believe you’re doing anything improper or unsafe. I merely wish to inquire about your intentions as I could not decipher them for myself. That is, of course, if you wish to speak about it. With me. If not, I understand completely and will gladly drop the subject.’

Kirishima immediately deflates with a relieved sigh. He looks away from Tokoyami and watches his own face in the mirror. Tokoyami moves his gaze to Kirishima’s face, and they look at each other through the reflective surface. Kirishima gives him a small smile, tentative and uncertain and very un-Kirishima like.

‘I don’t like talking about it cause it sounds super dumb but it’s not like I don’t want to talk about it. Um. Just. Don’t laugh? I guess?’

Tokoyami nods. ‘I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I am honored that you would trust me enough to open up about whatever it is that seems to plague your mind.’

Kirishima laughs softly. ‘I don’t think it’s anything quite so dramatic. It’s just, I’ve been doing some quirk training, I guess? Not the kind I can do during our Hero course though. This is more personal?’

Tokoyami nods in understanding, silently urging him to continue.

‘I’ve read so many things about my Unbreakable form. Most people love it. And I love it! I mean, it’s definitely a work in progress, and I know I can develop it more and get better and stronger and everything, but it’s a good move for sure. So, like, I know we all get our criticisms about our quirks, that’s normal and that’s ok.’

Kirishima clenches the fists in his lap, eyes dropping down to watch them. ‘I’ve read that my Unbreakable form is scary. Ugly. Menacing. Frightening.’ He purses his lips. ‘I don’t think those are bad things, not at all. And I don’t really mind what it looks like, it gets the job done!’

Kirishima looks back up, twisting to catch Tokoyami’s eyes with his own, omitting the mirror altogether. ‘But I wonder if my face is too scary for the kids, you know? And when I’m in the middle of a rescue in the future, I don’t want to add to their stress. I don’t want to scare them anymore than they already probably will be. But I can’t really drop Unbreakable all the time either.’

Tokoyami nods again, understanding Kirishima’s problems and feeling it ache in his core.

‘So, I wondered if there’s any way for me to make Unbreakable just a little more humane while preserving its functionality. I was thinking about softening just my eyes, so they’re not quite so jagged and scary.’

Kirishima’s eyes move back to the mirror, and he punches his thigh roughly, mouth twisting into a grimace. ‘Fine control over small portions of my body is hard though. I have a tough enough time maintaining Unbreakable on its own. To fine tune that even more seems impossible. And like, I’m not even sure it’ll work. I don’t know. I don’t have any idea what I’m doing Tokoyami. Not a damned clue.’

Tokoyami trills in thought, his hand moving up to support his chin.

‘While I do not wish to move the subject away from you, I would like to convey my empathy for I too face similar challenges.’ He gently prods Dark Shadow from within before continuing, ‘I do not have a conventional appearance. I do not look scary either, but Dark Shadow is, I have been told, a formidable presence.’

Dark Shadow peeks over Tokoyami’s shoulder and waves enthusiastically at Kirishima. The redhead breaks into a huge grin and returns the gesture with gusto, more than used to Dark Shadow’s appearance and antics. He really likes the guy.

‘I appreciate that our classmates have gotten used to us, and to him, but I also question how many civilians would like to be rescued by an individual with an ability like mine. I too would not like to add to their distress.’

Kirishima nods in understanding, the look in his eyes softening immeasurably.

‘I am unsure of how to help, but I would be happy to provide you with any moral support or even some simple company while you embark on this quest.’

Kirishima pats the spot next to him. ‘Sure thing Tokoyami, I really appreciate it man!’

Tokoyami nods and takes a seat on the floor. The two boys move to face each other, and Tokoyami spends the next half hour watching Kirishima engage his quirk, engage Unbreakable, and then struggle to soften his eyes.

He watches as Kirishima softens a cheek instead sometimes, watches as his forehead ripples uncertainly, watches his neck pulse with his quirk, and watches as his eyes sometimes go soft and warm. He encourages the best he can, celebrating the victories and pushing Kirishima to try once more when he fails. They burst into laughter more often than not, and it’s honestly a lot of fun.

Even Dark Shadow hangs around, somehow procuring pom-poms to celebrate and cheer.

When Kirishima finally calls it an evening, they get to their feet and start heading to the dorms.

‘If you require company, please do not hesitate to approach me. If I am able, it would be an honor to cheer you on and watch you succeed in this endeavor.’

Kirishima places a large, warm hand on his shoulder and squeezes. ‘I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this Tokoyami! I don’t practice it every day, but I’ll shoot you a text whenever I get the time to practice, and we can try to coordinate and make it work!’ He gives him his big sunshine smile. ‘Thank you for talking to me about it by the way, I really do feel a lot better.’

Tokoyami gives him another nod, and the boys walk back, enjoying the evening breeze and some light banter.

In the following weeks, Tokoyami and Kirishima swap messages and meet a lot more often. Tokoyami keeps tabs of his progress and gently pushes him to do better, and Kirishima laughs around with Dark Shadow when they take breaks. Sometimes they meet, decide they’re too lazy to quirk train and just watch old horror movies that leave Kirishima hiding behind Dark Shadow instead. Sometimes they listen to alt rock or do bicep curls. It’s a refreshing change of pace for both of them.

All their training does pay off though, sooner than they could’ve anticipated.

Aizawa brings Eri with him to hero training one day, and the young girl sits on a chair out of the way, watching with wide, amazed eyes. Aizawa stays close to her, watching over training with keen, knowing eyes. When he sees Kirishima doing some resistance training in Unbreakable form, he thinks of some pointers.

‘Riot!’

The redhead whips around to look at his teacher. Aizawa makes a come over here gesture with his hand, and Kirishima drops his quirk as he starts walking.

‘Come over here with your quirk engaged,’ Aizawa says. ‘You need to keep working on how long you can maintain your Unbreakable form, so don’t drop it right now.’

Immediately Kirishima engages his quirk and walks over to Aizawa, and every step is filled with the sharp sound of friction. Tokoyami watches as they talk, and he sees Eri looking at Red Riot with big wonderous eyes.

When they’re done chatting, Kirishima looks over at Eri. She flinches slightly, though no one can blame that on Kirishima’s appearance- Eri still flinches with most people.

Still, Tokoyami watches as Kirishima gets on his knees in front of her, still in Unbreakable form, and he sees Kirishima soften his eyes. They become liquid ruby, and he can feel the warmth almost from halfway across the gym.

He can’t hear what they say, but he sees Eri smile bright and even giggle, and he sees Aizawa appraising the situation with raised brows and an impressed sort of half smile.

Tokoyami gives Kirishima a pat on the back in his mind and bumps fists with Dark Shadow.

They all definitely have to celebrate later with some old horror movies and popcorn.

#bnha #bnha: thicker than blood #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fic #mha #my hero headcanons #class 1a headcanons #kirishima eijirou #tokoyami fumikage #kirishima is best boy #sooooo i had this theory #that kirishima would be a bit insecure about how scary unbreakable is #so he'd try to make it less scary!!#and tokoyami gets him on like a spiritual level so he's like #perfect #they're both perfect #bnha eri #aizawa #this got a lot longer than i expected but I LOVE THEM

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wanderingwomanwondering · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on The Buddie Talk from 502

Other folks have looked at this conversation, but I wanted to get on my bullshit about it too. LOL.

So imho this whole conversation is about love and heart, specifically Eddie’s but with Buck’s heart added in. Line by line analysis and commentary. Let the BS begin. Here we go…

Buck: Hey are you sleeping, or just pretending?

Day and night/light and dark are strong themes throughout the episode. @benka79 did a meta on this theme. I think that by extension, awake vs asleep is meaningful in this scene. In matters of the heart, Eddie is trying to sleep or turn a blind eye, doing what he thinks is best for Chris rather than himself. This is exactly what Carla warned him against. But he knows. He knows that Carla is right but he’s ignoring her and trying to ignore Buck. He’s only pretending to be in the dark about his heart and his desires, at least to a degree.

Eddie: I was actually trying to until you interrupted.

Enter Buck, shaking shit up. Interrupting Eddie’s well-intentioned lie. Eddie knows there’s more than meets the eye and Buck is forcing him to open his eyes, wake up and see what’s really going on and reckon with himself and his true desires.

Buck: I’m exhausted. Uh, how are you feeling?

This line has been rattling around in my brain for what feels like a thousand years. Buck is NOT asleep, he’s not able to turn a blind eye. And being the only one willing to look directly at matters of the heart is wearing him out. Dude’s exhausted! He SEES that something is up with Eddie’s heart and he wants Eddie to tell him all about it.

Eddie: Hot. I’m sweating out of places I didn’t know I could.

During the blackout, AC isn’t working so everyone is sweating. Buck even has a thin layer of sweat in the scene. Sweating from the heat is normal and completely reasonable, but is that what’s being invoked here? We know that sweating is also a symptom of health issues (panic and heart problems not the least among them, and definitely symbolically relevant here). Eddie looks like he’s sweating for normal reasons but in the next line Buck questions that.

Buck: No uh like a cold sweat though, right? Uh, any chest pains?

Again, Buck is wide awake. He KNOWS something is wrong with Eddie’s heart/feelings and that Eddie is hiding it from him. He jumps to cold sweats, the kind that are most connected to health problems and are not about the actual temperature in the room. Then follows up with asking about chest pains. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Buck is paralleled with the cardiologist. She’s about Eddie’s literal heart but Eddie’s figurative heart is in Buck’s hands and Buck’s hands only. And my dude is assertively assessing the situation.

Eddie: You don’t give up, do you? I’m fine, Buck.

Good ol’ Eddie, perfecting his avoidance and denial game. But he knows Buck. He does NOT ever give up and he especially doesn’t give up on the people he loves. Eddie recognized this and thanked Buck for it in 303. Buck didn’t give up on Christopher during the tsunami, or on Eddie in Eddie Begins or in Survivors. But that was about Chris and Eddie’s life. This scene in 502 is new in a way. Buck is refusing to give up on Eddie’s heart, his feelings. Now Buck is fighting for Eddie’s quality of life, for his happiness.

Buck: People who are fine don’t go and see cardiologists. You need to tell me if something is wrong.

Buck was so worried about Eddie in 501. Of course Eddie denied that anything was wrong but Buck isn’t stupid. In 501 he asked about the situation clearly and openly because he cares about Eddie and wants to help in any way he can, and Eddie pushed him away. So here in 502 he implicitly invokes the Will. He’s like fine if you won’t tell me as your friend who gives a shit about you, then tell me for Chris’s sake because thanks to the will, I actually fucking need to know if you’re going to drop dead.

Eddie: Alright, it was a panic attack, not a heart attack. A panic attack.

Eddie’s frustrated confession was solid gold. It laid my edges and raised my credit score. He knows that Buck’s persistence is harmless and comes from a genuine place of respect and care. Still, that doesn’t make it any less annoying for a man who’s trying to sleep, pretending his own heart isn’t breaking under the weight of his sense of duty to his son.

Buck: Since when do you panic?

My God, he knows him so well.

Eddie: That’s what I said. I don’t panic. Except I did.

Eddie accepting that this was absolutely a panic attack was huge. Before he had been pushing against the reality of it, but here in Buck’s loving care he could be honest with himself and with Buck that it was indeed panic.

Buck: Ok, well, what triggered it? I mean you did just get shot and almost killed by a sniper. I guess that could be considered an anxiety inducing-

Buck’s in full “cardiologist” mode. He’s paying forward all those years of therapy! What he’s doing here isn’t a replacement for my dude getting some real therapy but here’s Buck with his clipboard efficiently helping Eddie figure his emotional shit out. It’s perfection. It’s also good that he acknowledged the shooting. I think it’s super important that when Buck mentions it, he looks down and away from Eddie.

Buck, my dude, you are not over being covered in the blood of the love of your life. You can still feel his weight in your hands, muscle memory from lifting him above the spray of gasoline and bullets. Eddie may still be asleep on that front but, Buck, you are wide awake and exhausted by the heavy love you’re carrying.

Eddie: That wasn’t it. Ok, if I’m being honest with myself, I think it was Ana.

Oh this is fun. So you are capable of being real, you just choose not to be. Good to know.

Buck: Uh, I thought things were great with her.

Stop. Lying. You saw Eddie get squirrely when talking about the Christening. You saw Eddie get awkward af when A*a and Christopher came to the firehouse. You’ve seen these issues with your own eyeballs. Great? Really? Yeah, this just makes me think muh boy is oblivious and/or he really was expecting Eddie to come clean about issues related to the shooting, not his love life. This reiterates my point that Buck himself is not nearly done with processing the shooting.

Eddie: She’s been a godsend through all this - staying with Christopher - but I think that’s what’s causing the panic. Somehow it become a ready-made family and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

This portion of the conversation has been analyzed to bits by many brilliant others. I don’t have anything to add. I’m like, look dude, you already have a family with Buck and Christopher. A*a’s effin’ up your happy healthy family flow. It’s ok, just turn her loose.

Buck: So what are you gonna do?

Buck’s wisdom grows every frickin’ day. He knows this isn’t sustainable for Eddie. He knows that the heart matters. He knows that feelings are real and help us navigate toward a happy life. Action is needed and he’s nudging Eddie in that direction.

Eddie: I think I’m just gonna stick it out. Ana’s been the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon.

Oh dear, Eddie’s overblown sense of duty to everyone but himself strikes again. He can…tolerate… A*a. How romantic!

Buck: Stick it out? That’s not the way you talk about someone you’re in love with.

Um, no. Buck calls shenanigans. He’s not A*a’s bestie but he doesn’t feel any desire whatsoever to have her condemned to a loveless relationship.

Eddie: My kid loves her!

Always putting Christopher first but not realizing that if he isn’t truly happy, Christopher will know because he’s perceptive af. Plus the two haven’t discussed A*a on screen so I’m not convinced Chris loves her as much as Eddie wants to believe.

Buck: Is that enough? Eddie I have been Ana. I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who is not all the way in. Deep down you know it and it hurts. It hurts worse than the truth, so if you don’t want to hurt Ana, you owe it to her to be honest.

Buck is doing A LOT of work here to help Eddie see that his plan of inaction is not good. He centers Eddie asking him if staying for Chris is enough. When that doesn’t work, he realizes that Eddie doesn’t care about his own heart enough to leave so he changes strategies and puts himself in A*a’s place to invoke some empathy for A*a from Eddie. It’s super…interesting that Eddie doesn’t care enough for A*a to come to this conclusion on his own!!

Eddie: You know it just feels like a lot man.

Why, my dude?? Explain. Could it be that A*a is serving a purpose beyond Chris? Could it be that staying with her helps you avoid, allows you to pretend and be oblivious to deeper truths within your battered but still beating heart? Does she obscure the Buck shaped hole in your ticker?

Buck: Well, go to sleep. You don’t need to decide right now. It’s not like we’re going home anytime soon.

Buck is disappointed, exhausted, and frustrated and it has my dude slinging shade like morning hash. He’s like fine turn a blind eye, ignore your heart it’s cool *all the sarcasm* Then we get the reference to home and the fact that the two of them are far from it at this point and we all know how important home is as a Buddie theme. I wrote a little about it here.

Bonus: Eddie closed his eyes after Buck walked away, the he OPENED them again. He fully saw what Buck was saying. He can’t avoid the truth of his heart for much longer.

Y’all this has GOT to be the season that one or both of these idiots realize their feelings. Excuse me while I end.

#911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #christopher diaz #ana flores #GO HOME ALREADY #episode 502 #911 meta

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damnzawa · 3 years

Note

Hi there! I just found your account and I love you writing! I was wondering if you could do a bakugou x reader fantasy au? Where prince bakugou goes to a small village in his kingdom for a pit stop while on a quest but meets the reader who's a poor butcher's daughter that doesn't know who he is and doesn't really care either but really wants to go on a quest and begs him to let her travel with him in exchange for being a chef. Thank you so much!!💞💕💗 ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾┌(★ｏ☆)┘

ANNOYING — B. KATSUKI

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry if this took a long time to be published! I went off tumblr for a while due to personal issues but now I'm back! Hope you like this!

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED (for now)

WARNINGS: Language LMAO but its Bakugo so what do we expect. Also this is not beta read!

WORD COUNT: 1955

Not everyday you have the privilage to meet the prince. The heir to the kingdom's throne. The second most respected man in the whole entire kingdom.

And not everyday you get to mistake him as a thief either.

Not that you care about his title, really. You believe that all men are created equal, regardless of their social standings, heirarchy and whatnot. Thus, you didn't really care about the prince and the royal family that much to ever know about them. Not even their faces, nor names.

So, it wasn't a surprise that it will cause you your possible demise.

You see, the day started nice. You went out to do some deliveries, met some nice people on the road who bought half of the meat your father had cut, and to top it all off the farmer was kind enough to give you extra rootcrops as a sign of gratitude to you and your father. It was a great day all in all. Until, the knights came.

Along with the explosive prince.

Murmurs began to start as you headed back to your father's stall in the market after a long day of delivery work. Even though you didn't mean to eavesdrop — it was kind of hard not to, considering how their volumes were — you caught the words: arrogant, self-centered, short-tempered. And later you found out those words described the prince.

"He must be a nincompoop then. To get such a reputation from the people in town, he must have done some... questionable things." You said to yourself. Too engrosed in your thoughts, you bumped into a red-headed knight. You bowed immediately while apologizing then excused yourself, you didn't really want to interact with knights today. All you wanted to do was cook a hearty meal for your stubborn father, read a book by the fireplace after a bath, and relax.

But all those plans seem to be quickly washed away when you saw an ash blond quietly steal from your father. You were gonna let it slide, thinking that maybe it was for a good cause.

That is until you realized, the man stole a prime cut.

As if a switch was flicked, you quickly ran towards the direction the man headed to. Spotting him from afar, you ran as fast as you can and knocked the man into the ground, shocking the people around you.

"Give it back." You sternly commanded the man. "Give back the meat you stole from my father."

The man scoffed at your 'accusations' and tried to wiggle his way free but your entire weight placed on top of his back made it hard to do so. "Let me fucking go. I have no idea what the actual fuck you are accusing me of."

"Oh shut it. I saw you with my own two eyes and I am very much sure that their vision is not impaired yet." His futile attempts at escaping now stopped as he tilted his head to see the scoundrel who had the audacity to knock him down and embarrass him infront of townspeople.

Of course it had to be a girl.

"Are you one of my admirers to go such lengths as accusing me of stealing from a commoner?" That comment made your eye twitch because first, you are certainly not an admirer of this prick. Two, you don't even know the guy! Three, who would admire this piece of work? And lastly, your father might be a 'commoner' but he's the best 'commoner' you could ever find! There wouldn't be a slab of ribs or a fine piece of steak on your plates if it weren't for him! And the way this asshole said 'commoner' with such distaste too! What a prick! Who the hell does he think he is?

"My prince!" The same red-headed knight you bumped into earlier shouted from afar. Your eyes widened for a second before turning back to the asshole beneath you who now has a smug grin on his face.

"Miss! Are you alright?" The knight asked while helping you get up. "Did the prince cause you any disturbances? Any problems?" It was your turn to plaster on a smug grin on your face. You saw his own falter which you made you more smug than before.

"Why yes actually, the prince caused me a slight inconvenience." The red-head sighed, taking a quick glance at the prince beside him — who couldn't stand due to pain. "The prince stole a priceless little thing from my father's stall earlier and I'd like for him to return it or better yet, pay for it." The prince was about to retort but the red-head beat him to it.

"I deeply apologize for the prince's action, miss. If it would make you happy and satisfied, I will pay for the items he stole. I will also ask for forgiveness on his behalf." Angry noises came from the prince's (beast) mouth as the red-headed knight did exactly what he told making you raise an eyebrow.

"Why are you doing it for him? Can't he do it himself?" It was amazing to see a knight easily convinced to do something a mere 'commoner' like you demanded, but you concluded that this red-headed fellow wasn't an ordinary knight. He seemed like the type that's fed up with the prince's antics, thus his demeanor towards people is filled with empathy and the usual knightly courage. But your words made him halt, and look at you as if you were from some otherworldly land.

You caught the knight mutter about something manly before the prince interrupted. "Hah?! I'm not gonna apologize to someone lower than me! You extra!" The knight sweat-dropped at the prince's words while you looked at him blankly. Wow, the rumors are true, he is an asshole.

"Well, Your Highness, this extra happened to be the one who cared for the rib who used to be a part of the cow that you stole just now. So, apologize and pay up. I don't care if you're the prince or not. Thievery is a crime, and you just committed it." The crowd begin to whisper, making the prince's eye twitch.

"Fine, you annoying extra! Give her whatever the fuck she wants!" And with that the prince stormed off. Leaving you and the red-haired knight behind. The crowd began to disperse, seeing as the scene just concluded and that the man of the hour was gone.

The knight turned to you once again and bowed. "I'm deeply sorry for my prince's actions. As he caused such an inconvenience and refuses to be accountable for his actions, I shall ensure to provide whatever compensation you need or want — within reason of course." Before you can respond, he introduces himself with a grin. "Ah! How silly of me! Chivalric knight, Kirishima Eijirou at your service."

"I appreciate your efforts, Sir Kirishima, but I just need the payment for the stolen goods." You replied with a smile, but soon your smile faltered. You had wanted to be a chef for so long and travel unknown lands to discover cuisine and cooking techniques you've never heard of before. Perhaps... is this the right time to do it?

You bit your lip as you contemplated. Should you grab this opportunity and run with it?

Seeing your hesitancy, Kirishima waited for your answer. "Actually... I have a request... I was wondering if it's possible?"

"I'm all ears, Miss."

...

"What is this extra doing here?!" Prince Bakugo exclaimed as he saw your annoying little face within his traveling party. Kirishima sighed as he explained the situation. You would join his party as a chef until you reach the capital where you will be training to be a chef under the great Lunch Rush. Bakugo was about to object when Kirishima shot him a look.

"Fine. But I'm not eating garbage cooked by a commoner!" You rolled your eyes at his demeanor. Are all royals like this?

As if reading your mind, Kirishima responds. "Don't worry. King Masaru and Queen Mitsuki are quite modest and kind."

"Then what happened to him?" You pointed to Bakugo.

"I heard that, you extra!" Fowl language followed that statement making the traveling party sigh. Oh boy, this is gonna be a painful journey.

After that, you said your goodbyes to your father, who was very emotional about the turn of events. "Be good and be brave, my sweet child. And ask for forgiveness from His Highness." Your brows were scrunched in confusion.

"Why must I do that? He was clearly in the wrong!"

"Ah... that slab of meat was a present from me to him. He once helped me round up the cows when his traveling party went by our house yesterday. The slab of priceless meat was a token of appreciation for his kind gesture. So, do apologize for your actions, ok?" The information you just heard astounded you, making you speechless. Guilt pooled in your stomach as you promised your father that you will apologize to the prince. And with a final promise of coming home as a renowned chef, you parted ways.

The journey started rough. The prince refused to eat anything you made at all. His stubbornness knows no bounds and his overall demeanor towards you was not pleasant, which you understood as the scene you caused was a total misunderstanding on your part. The only upside was the traveling party greatly enjoyed your meals, and some even gave you recipes from different places and suggestions of destinations that you'll surely enjoy to explore! Overall, it went smoothly.

That is, until the prince became sick.

The doctors in your traveling party asked you to concoct different meals suited to His Highness, You had to stop at a village in order to ensure Prince Bakugo's speedy recovery. And one day, you were assigned to deliver his meals to him personally.

"Prince Bakugo?" You knocked on the door, and as expected, not a response came from the prince. You sighed and slowly opened the door, cautiously stepping in so you won't wake Bakugo up or spill the contents of the bowl you held.

"Go away, you extra." He grumbled, but his rough voice was replaced with a weak ome due to his illness.

"Look, I know you won't eat my meals but you need to eat. You can't recover from this if your body doesn't have the nutrients it needs to fight back this illness." You huffed. "And... besides, consider this as my way of making up to you."

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"My father told me about it. I'm sorry for mistaking you for a thief. I tried to apologize to you on several occasions but you angrily push me away every time I do. So, I figured this might be the right timing since you know... you aren't your usual aggressive self." You scratched your nape in embarrassment. "Besides, if there's something I learned while traveling with you is that you're a big softie inside. You might act rough and is shard on the edges, you're actually kind-hearted and caring. Uh... anyways. Please make sure to eat your meal, Prince Bakugo."

Before you can exit the room, you heard him say, "Annoying extra." But the usual hostility behind those words wasn't there. You might just be assuming it or imagining it, but those words almost sounded... fond.

With a shake of your head, you left the room.

Later that day, you found the bowl to be empty and outside of his room. Along with it was a note that read, "Don't fucking tell me what to do, you annoying extra."

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki/reader #bakugo katsuki x you #bakugo x you #bakugo x reader #kirishima eijiro/reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #bakugo/reader #kirishima/reader #im writing again yey

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