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astrolovecosmos · 11 months

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Chart Ruler in the Houses:

Your chart ruler is the planet associated with your rising sign. e.g. Libra rising means your chart ruler is Venus, Sagittarius Rising means your chart ruler is Jupiter. The chart ruler can be similar to the rising in that it represents an aspect of your self-expression. It can also act like a guide or marker to areas of life that greatly impact you and motivate you. See below the chart ruler in each house:

~1st House~

Individuality is not only important to you and your life, but questions surrounding individuality, developing it - these are a big part of your life lessons, struggles, wins, and fulfillments. How you develop as a person, your self-expression, independence, and how you stand out acts as motivation. Early life may have been unique, intense, or hazy depending on the planet, but frequently revisiting it or taking inspiration from it is common for this placement. Having your chart ruler in the 1st House may indicate someone who has high expectations for themselves and their life or even "destiny". It is common for these individuals to be on either side of the scale with pessimism vs. optimism in their approach and view of their own life. A fear of being rejected, ignored, and possibly used or controlled may exist here. When the chart ruler is in the 1st House these people will always ask themselves who they are and/or may have a huge drive to always prove themselves or define themselves. They may face many challenges involving depth, intensity, intimacy vs. shallowness and detachment. Self-love and acceptance are their strength, their crown.

~2nd House~

The 2nd House is a house of the physical world but also our relationship to the physical world which many times can be highly intangible. The most straightforward way to understand this is through ideas around value and resource. The 2nd House is what we value from our favorite piece of clothing to our loved ones to our own self-worth. This is also the house of security, quality, spending, resources, energy that is taken or received, it is physical manifestations or materialism which can extend to ideas of the spirit having a body (6th House may be body and health, but the 2nd also has connections to the body and physiology, especially the throat, neck, voice). When the chart ruler is in this house challenges, lessons, and guidance may seem very practical with lessons about work, money, and possessions. Other times it can be hard to recognize or follow with lessons about restraint, boundaries, or defense. The chart ruler pulls on individuals to practice self-care and stability. People here may feel like their stability, safety, and maybe sanity are frequently questioned or being threatened. They learn early on how important options, skills, tools, money, space, being resourceful is. These people for many reasons may also constantly seek comfort and contentment. They want the peace that comes with more passive attitudes towards living like attraction, patience, routine, and indulgence or relaxation. The 2nd House is also about potential and when the chart ruler sits here motivation can come from self-belief. Endurance and determination are their crown.

~3rd House~

Self-expression, learning, communicating, connecting - all of these things are brought front and center with the chart ruler in the 3rd house. Motivation can be from a curious mind or possibly a bored mind, being highly involved or removed from a community, or social status or pressures. Learning from others is very important for this placement, even those who are shyer may crave this. Many of their internal conflicts or conflicts throughout life may involve some sort of lone wolf. vs social butterfly themes. Their main motivation may come from, their self-expression and personality shaped by, or possibly one of their guiding lights in life may be their siblings, extended family, students, or possibly a teacher in some form. These individuals are likely observant, mentally quick, possibly talkative or social, and likely adaptable. Even if someone with this placement has a lot of fixed sign influences, life will pull them through many situations that will demand flexibility or an open mind. There is a focus on how these people are in their attitude towards others in their most immediate environment and inner circle outside of highly intimate or hierarchical roles like a spouse or parent. Think friends, coworkers, siblings, their network, their community. The planet will have a lot to say about this, Venus for example indicates a very easygoing, nice, possibly loving attitude. Mars may mean competitive, aggressive, or passionate interactions and relationships. The Sun or Pluto can indicate power struggles. Saturn indicates a lot of responsibility, reputation, maybe burdens form being part of a community. This attitude or approach to their community will be extremely important to them. Knowledge and adaptability or an openness to learn are their crown.

~4th House~

This individual's motivation and personality may be heavily based around family somehow. They are prone to holding onto old feelings and grudges and this may be a major drive for them. The 4th House can represent our homelife, our private life, private selves, ancestry, cycles or patterns, intuition, and nurturing. Having a happy, safe, or stable home is a need for everyone but here their home life may impact their most basic self-expression constantly. A hurt or disturbed home life may be worn on their sleeve somehow. The 4th House can represent our parents both in a literal or metaphorical sense. I wouldn't be surprised if those with their chart ruler in this house find that they seek a parent type of relationship with others frequently OR has to parent themselves or others somehow. There may be a great drive to carry on a family's legacy or to start a new found family with this placement. Questions and insecurities may frequently revolve around one's place in their family, starting a family, or leaving one. This person may be good at hiding intentions, may be highly private or guarded, receptive, perceptive, and sensitive. Where they feel most at home can be determined by planet and sign but the chart ruler in the 4th indicates that there is a huge need to always "return" home or feel at home in the self, with others, and in a place. Getting in touch with one's past or heritage may be important to them throughout life. An understanding of the pasts' impact on the present and future is a major theme and lesson. Understanding and caring are strengths of theirs to cultivate. But...Loyalty, love, and trust of family is their crown.

~5th House~

A general love for life may be a major motivation for this placement. The 5th House is the house of recreation, love affairs, romance, drama, creativity, creation, pleasure, celebration, hobbies, self-expression, vibrancy. Expressing the self through what one creates whether that is art, a reputation, food, crafts, ideas, debatably children are all important to this house. The chart ruler in the 5th House may have a huge desire to leave a legacy or impression through what they make and share. There might also be a drive to indulge, experience, and love. This house has a positive reputation but the chart ruler here depending on sign, planet, aspect may indicate a struggle to enjoy life or express one's creativity. There may be a need to shine, fight, rebel, create a new path. A desire for adventure, admiration, romance, and leisure can exist in a way that is desperate or hard to satisfy. The 5th House has been interpreted as a place of self-discovery, carefreeness, play, or self-creation and in this sense, there is a huge push to be confident in oneself and to let your energy or vitality burn. The 5th House has also been interpreted as a place to look at how you learn and celebrate others and through them also learn about and celebrate the self. This can take a lot of giving and risk. Because of these aspects bravery and generosity is this chart ruler's crown.

~6th House~

This is the house of the everyday - habits, work, physical health, cleanliness, collaboration or teamwork, routine, service, help, support, practicality, skills, work ethic, pets, efficiency, uses. On paper this house can sound dull but similarly to the 2nd House the relationship of the tangible to the intangible can make interpretations or manifestations of this house sometimes hard to recognize. Work and health are two very common motivators for this placement. Other common motivators may be a desire to be useful, to heal others, to fix something, or possibly to be part of a team or cause. Depending on the influences involved a chart ruler in this house may spell out a person who craves recognition or reward for their status, good deeds, or accomplishments. There is nothing inherently wrong with this but it may cause a lack of fulfillment for the individuals. The chart ruler in the 6th House may work themselves to death or be distracted from people or things that truly feed their soul and help their mental health because they can get distracted with "the right way" to do things, with daily tasks they need to check off, or a sense of heavy duty. In this way modesty may be needed not to humble but to cut through the b.s. of more shallow pursuits and relationships. Some with this placement may need to be brought down to earth sometimes, just not in the way they or most may expect. Some may fear leaving their routine and habits, easily getting stuck in ruts. This will take courage to break routines or unhealthy habits, but it will also take self-discipline and even gratitude. Being thankful for the past and the present may help them to overcome fears of regret, failure, losing, or even imperfection. Boundaries, self-worth, discipline, physical and mental health, and self-sacrifice are all subjects that can make or break this placement's expression. Those with this placement likely want to be part of something that is bigger than them. Something that gives the everyday purposes or light. They can find this in the simple things and in everyday happenings. Because of that humility and gratitude are this chart ruler's crown.

~7th House~

The house that is all about relationships, you can expect that having your chart ruler here means plenty of action, karma, lessons, struggles, highs and lows to one's friendships, romances, rivalries, and enemies. This may have been a person who learned early on how important it is to get along with others or possibly to stand out from others. The chart ruler in the 7th does not automatically make one easygoing and cooperative. Mars or Aries in this house may drive someone to be competitive, overly independent, or antagonistic with others, finding this to bring them the most excitement or even peace in their life. Questions about relationships and who they are to others may always be part of their life. The 7th House is about projection and how you present yourself to others and how others reinforce your self. Those with their chart ruler in the 7th may find that they have deep insecurities about being loved and accepted. The chart ruler here may indicate someone who struggles a lot with boundaries, people pleasing, and balancing the needs of themselves vs. the needs of others. Even with a hotter or more self-focused influence like the Sun or fire element can find themselves easily losing themselves in others or forgetting to take care of themselves. Equality, respect, and honesty are pillars they need to build in their relationships. Some with this placement may need to unwrap their ego from their relationships and loved ones, others may need to overcome a fear of loneliness. They feel fulfilled when in a happy relationship. Things like self-love and healthy boundaries will be important for this placement but I would say their biggest virtues, what they will find strength from is with both unity and independence. 👑

~8th House~

How does the house of secrets, the taboo, intimacy, sharing, death, rebirth, inheritance, loans, and the metaphysical and occult motivate one and their life? This darker house can have abstract or intangible influences on one's self-expression. First those with their chart ruler in the 8th likely have a strong connection to their intuition, emotional side, depths, religious or spiritual beliefs, or psyche. They may have learned at a young age the importance of listening and of staying away from or investigating the dark, scary places of themselves and others. They learned about monsters under the bed or in the closet early on. One of the physical ways this house manifests is through physical intimacy. The 8th House rules over all forms of intimacy, physical or not. Those with their ruler in this house will likely have a life greatly impacted by this somehow. Maybe they are in tune with their body and libido, others may struggle to tame it or get in touch with it. Maybe they easily become attached and close with others, or maybe they are extremely guarded and detached. Chart ruler in the 8th commonly indicates someone who is more secretive or private. What they share or don't share with others may be a huge focus. Rewards and punishment for being overly open or overly closed may be a common challenge. A fear of looking weak, wrong, or bad can exist. Speaking of fear, this house rules over it. I could see someone with their chart ruler here struggle with nightmares in their life. This may be someone who struggles with timidness, or even acting cowardly. Others may be addicted to adrenaline, finding it an escape or confidence boost. Some assign psychology to this house and with this can be a huge desire to know and master the self. With the ruler here their self-awareness game may be strong. This is also the house of transformation and joint, inner, or (will)power. These people may very likely have vibrant, passionate, intense inner selves or personal lives that are very much hidden or a mystery to others. Abuse, trauma, and life-changing events are not exclusive to the 8th House but this placement may find immense insight, wisdom, and empowerment from them. Just like the cliche of the phoenix, they get stronger after turmoil, rising from the ashes. Vulnerability and compassion are their crown.

~9th House~

This is the house of travel and higher education but also philosophy, beliefs, meaning. Having your chart ruler here indicates high energy, enthusiasm or a zealous nature, curiosity, and optimism. A passion for learning and exploration, an open mind and heart, or a desire to be part of something higher and greater than them are common motivators. They may frequently find themselves asking philosophical questions throughout life or big pictured questions. Some simply like to think and wonder while others get too stuck on "what ifs" in their life. This placement is likely passionate about their beliefs and opinions. Even if their beliefs aren't rooted in religion or the spiritual, they may be opinionated and forceful about them. Being highly open and changeable about your beliefs may be a theme too. This could be a person who is very open-minded to different religions and cultures and wants to try them all in some capacity. Either way belief is central to their life and character. The 9th House can be associated with worldly matters, foreign affairs, how culture and ethics differ, form, and are practiced. Being a globetrotter may be a common manifestation or being highly active in politics or foreign relations. This house is also about rituals, publishing, hopes, the future, storytelling. Those with their ruler in this house may find they have a complex relationship with truth vs. lies or illusions. The duality between hope and despair may exist in their conflicts and challenges. There can be a thirst for knowledge, especially specialized, privileged, forbidden, or secret knowledge. These people may live in their own cages or horizons based on their beliefs. Their worldview may mean everything to them. Belief either in themselves or something else and curiosity are their crown.

~10th House~

Status, reputation, or reward, especially the material kind are the most likely motivators for someone with their chart ruler in the 10th. The 10th house is about career, reputation, ambition, public life, authority, parental influence, discipline, recognition, purpose. There may be a huge need for a great sense of purpose. Responsibility and reputation are hot topics for those with their chart ruler here. These may be two things that haunt or bring joy to them throughout life. A fear of failure, embarrassment, or a lack of control can be a huge challenge for this placement. Seeking approval from or rebelling from an authority figure may be a huge drive for some. Their self-expression is focused and monitored, criticized and restrained so it fits within their society or family. Matters of support and providing are important for those with this placement. Both receiving it and giving it may be challenging or rewarding. Those with this placement may be passionate about campaigning for or providing for those who lack help much like they may have lacked when younger. These people typically strive to be helpful, depended on, the leader or decision maker, the problem solver. Even those that are more independent, unconventional, and rebellious may find themselves leading a rag-tag team of outcasts. Control issues and obsession with career or work can be challenges. Many with this placement find purpose and identity through their career. Some are driven by places of fear and insecurity around control. But it is commitment and honor that makes up this placement's crown. Through these virtues/traits they can find strength and energy.

~11th House~

The 11th House is the house of social awareness, collective action and consciousness. How one fits in with society or a group is very important here. Individuality has a place in this house but the story is more about how one fits in or stands out with their individuality than just defining that individuality. The 11th House is also about friendship, acceptance, alienation, awareness, trends, the higher mind, intellect and intuition, wishes/aspirations. This tends to be a hopeful and extroverted house in terms of its general influence. Having your chart ruler here means you may find meaning and direction by being part of organizations or groups. There may also be a struggle to find people you belong with. Motivation tends to come from social expectations/pressures, societal norms, rebellion, isolation, idealism, or fear of missing out. Friends and peers may be very important to those who's ruler sits in this house. From an early age this individual learned the importance and need for acceptance by one's peers or may have found refuge, learning, and understanding in them. Expanding their mind and knowledge through others may be a drive for them. Having a charismatic and confident self-expression may be important for some, or finding those who celebrate or are attracted to their unique sense of self-expression. Those with this placement may sympathize with or find purpose through humanitarian pursuits. There can be a part of them that wants to do good on a large scale - to help humanity, the world, society. Motivation and a guide for the self may come from seeing the big picture and caring for groups or humanity. But depending on the sign, planet, and aspects having your ruler in this house may also cause one to be highly selfish and focused on how a group can benefit them. There may be a desire to control or dominate a group of people or organization. Conformity and nonconformity can also be pulled to one of the extremes with this individual. Getting carried away with group fear, hope, promises, deception, and division can also happen with these people. They can understand the pros and cons, the depths of tribalism. It is important for them to learn quickly a healthy separation between the self and the group. But ultimately tolerance of others and cooperation are this chart ruler's crown.

~12th House~

The House of the subconscious and hidden or secrets can be tricky to explain. When the chart ruler is in the 12th House one's motivation can be elusive or at times, they may feel that they lack motivation or that they struggle to express and define the self. Being introverted or shy is common with this placement. Getting to know oneself is a lifelong path for many with this placement. There can be a desire to be found, to discover from the self and from others something meaningful, a desire to be connected spiritually, for intense intimacy, or possibly a feeling of wholeness. They themselves may struggle to pinpoint their desires, needs, and motivations, but once discovered they can be highly empowered. This is also the house of isolation, loss of power, loss of ego or identity, and loss in general. This person may confront many uncomfortable questions, truths, or experiences surrounding loss. This house shares similar themes with the 4th and 8th Houses - family karma and secrets, depth, psychology or psyche, spirituality, magic, intuition. A yearning to understand the self can be present for those with this placement. There may also be a drive to understand themselves and others through spiritual lenses. A drive to heal and help may exist here as well. This house covers many intense and bleaker subjects, but it is associated with surrender, forgiveness, reconnection, rebirth, reparation, hidden strengths or potential, and the good and bad of spirituality, oneness, and karma. People with this placement may be natural healers, counselors, or teachers. Fearing or embracing loneliness and separation may be a common manifestation. Through the dynamic between creation and destruction that this house has, they can find great insight and power from their pain. Empathy and listening to one's soul or intuition are what makes up their crown.

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postitforward · 4 months

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Hello 👋

It is week three of Holiday Blues. Unfortunately, there is a lot more to winter than just the holidays. The weeks that are supposed to be a celebration can become something to endure 😩 fortunately for all y’all, that is *exactly* where Sunday comes into play, and that is where we want to give you some essential time to rest and recuperate. So we are BACK with Self-Care Sunday to ensure you get the essential downtime y’all need to truly look after yourself!

This year, we are partnering with @therapyforblackgirls, who have put together some essential resources to help YOU through the winter. 🌠 For the third week’s session, we are looking at Focusing On Your Mental Wellness!

Did you focus on your mental wellness in 2023? If you did, great! If you couldn’t, no stress! Join Therapy For Black Girls' Community Manager, Jasmine Jones, for tips and resources that center you supporting your mental wellness in the new year and beyond. We have options aplenty for your mental wellness: therapy, community, self-care, and journaling.✍️

It’s a little something, but we think it could make a big difference. 🧘WATCH: Self-Care Sunday. Tumblr X Therapy for Black Girls: Focusing on your Mental Wellness. 12/17 at 1pm EST. 🧘

#mental health #self care #positivity #healing #holidayblueswithtumblr #holiday blues with tumblr #holiday blues #therapy #self care sunday #self care routine #holiday blues with tumblr 2023

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veronicawildest · 12 days

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NAKSHATRA SERIES: OBSERVATION FROM DIFFERENT NAKSHATRAS (SEGUNDO)

(Disclaimer: If you get butthurt on my other observation just blocked me and move away from me. This observations is from the celebrity i've observe and my social circle. Just take this like a grain of salt)

PUNARVASU

The trait that I love about Punarvasu is their resourcefulness. It makes sense because of the Vimshottari Nakshatra of Jupiter. They are also very giving.

(Unevolved) Punarvasu are fake. When they're talking to you, they act like a goody two shoes type of boy/girl, but when you're gone, they talk behind your back. They don't like confrontation (very passive). Also holier than thou (This only applies if you're UNEVOLVED, otherwise don't get butthurt).

Punarvasu are also people-pleasers. They want to have a "goody-two-shoes" reputation. (I can't fully describe it, but if you get it, you get it). A primary example that I'm going to give is Elon Musk (Punarvasu rising). The way he acts and presents himself in public. He just wants to be likable, but clearly, the public hates him.

Punarvasu are smart and they will show you that through their actions (I mean actions, for example, problem-solving activities)

PUSHYA:

The casting stereotype of this nakshatra is a hippy vibe. Just like in animated movies, Matilda (from Angry Birds Movie played by Maya Rudolph (Pushya sun)) and Brooke (from Ice Age: Collision Course played by Jessie J (Pushya moon)).

Pushya isn't as auspicious as it is portrayed in the Vedic astrology community. You will go through some hardships and heartbreaks that will make you easily susceptible to mental health issues. (I have this placement so this comes from my experience).

I observed this from other Pushya natives that they're just plain and simple, not glamorous but classy when it comes to their appearance. Just simplicity and vibes and natural.

I've seen on Twitter Vedic discourse about Tikshna Nakshatra getting all the hate, Ashlesha getting all the hate, not Pushya. I have a Pushya placement on my luminary, and I can tell y'all that's not true.

Examples:

Jennifer Lopez (Pushya sun) gets hated for getting all the benefits of being a celebrity when she's just allegedly stealing (I've also read this through Twitter).

Selena Gomez (Pushya sun) is hated for having this victim mentality complex and being "obsessed with Justin and Hailey."

(DISCLAIMER: This isn't my opinion on these certain celebrities, but I've been reading and seeing them on Twitter)

ASHLESHA

Despite being a Mercury-ruled Vimshottari nakshatra, Ashlesha doesn't speak too much.

I've seen Ashlesha males acting like sigma males, but they're funny. This is the nakshatra that embodies the "tropical Leo archetype," the archetype of funny, center of attention, fashionable, and dramatic.

Ashlesha either love all the attention or hate it. Mostly it's a mixture of the two. That's why the center of attention archetype for Tropical Leo.

Claire Nakti just conducted a survey on YouTube, but the leading people on Instagram (having the most followers) have Ashlesha placements. Selena Gomez (Ashlesha Venus and Mercury - still prominent because it conjuncts the Sun, which is her luminary), Kylie Jenner (Ashlesha Sun), and Cristiano Ronaldo (Ashlesha Moon).

MAGHA

If you have Magha in your big three, you're egoistic as fuck (for me egoistic above on other nakshatra). Napoleon has this Nakshatra on his sun. The new TikTok hype about King Baldwin IV (played by Edward Norton, Magha sun).

It's hard to differentiate Ashlesha and Magha because of the Gandanta point (and other Gandanta nakshatras):

- Both private

- Romantic (because other nakshatra of Leo gets all the credit of being romantic, but not Magha; they're romantic too)

- Both GREAT at their stuff/profession/talent

But to tell them apart is Ashlesha says, "I don't give a fuck," and they do give a fuck (because of the Crab cancer symbolism, it really makes sense why they put up a facade because of the shield) when Magha says nothing and literally doesn't give a fuck. They won't entertain. Yes, they're sensitive, but mostly they really don't give a fuck.

I don't get the hype of "Ketu nakshatras are not on social media. They don't usually use social media" on Vedic Twitter. Magha (Ashwini and Mula too) are active; they just don't interact or have private accounts. Ketu is exalted in the sign of Scorpio (investigating, lurking), and y'all think that they don't use social media? Joking, for real.

I still emphasize that Magha nakshatra individuals have sleeping problems. One of the Magha moon actors (in my home country) opens up about having sleep apnea and having a near-death experience. (Also, the beauty queen Magha sun talks about a near-death experience). It's common for them to experience the "Their soul is leaving the body while sleeping" phenomenon and meditation.

The impact of the death of loved ones for Magha is crucial. It's a sign that something significant will be happening or transforming for better or for worse. The best example that I can give is Megan Thee Stallion (her family).

#astrology notes #astrology observations #vedic astro notes #vedic astro observations #vedic astrology #claire nakti #pick a card #astro observations #punarvasu #ashlesha #magha nakshatra #magha #ashlesha nakshatra #punarvasu nakshatra #pushya #pushya nakshatra #sidereal astrology #vedic chart

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femmefatalevibe · 11 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: Tips On How To Be A High-Value Woman

Table of Contents:

Prioritize Your Self-Respect Above All Else

Set & Uphold Clear Boundaries in Every Area of Life

Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries

Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality

Center All Aspects of Your Health & Well-Being

Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset

Consistently Invest in Your Appearance

Remain Dedicated To Lifelong Learning

Personalize Your Interactions & Learn Proper Etiquette

Master The Art of Engaging Conversation

Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless

Embrace Growth Without Succumbing To Your Perfectionist Expectations

HOW TO BE A HIGH-VALUE WOMAN:

Prioritize Your Self-Respect Above All Else: Get goals and standards that align with your needs in every area of life (career, finances, physical/mental/sexual health, emotional well-being, friends, family, intimate relationships, self-development). Express and act in alignment with your standards and dreams. Don't allow the displeasure of others to dictate your actions or daily activities.

Set & Uphold Clear Boundaries in Every Area of Life: State them calmly and clearly. "No" is a complete sentence. Reciprocate this effort to others. Practice the art of discernment, differentiation, and interdependence. Get to know yourself, and learn how to observe your needs independently of others' expectations and desires.

Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries: Figure out what matters most to you in life. What activities, topics, aesthetics, art, clothing, hobbies, sounds, movements, books, television shows, movies, songs, and types of conversations most light you up inside? Here are some resources to guide your self-discovery journey HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality: I have more tips on building your personal brand, creating your persona (or ‘Dream Girl archetype’), and an ultimate Femme Fatale playbook linked HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Center All Aspects of Your Health & Well-Being: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sexual, and Spiritual. Celebrate your needs – they make you human. Eat a healthful, plant-based diet, exercise and walk daily, meditate, read at least 10 pages a day, journal, make to-do lists, declutter your space, self-pleasure, recite your affirmations, lean into shadow and mirror work, create morning and nighttime routines. Feeling in alignment is essential to allowing your magnetic aura to shine through. Find all my tips to cultivate self-regard in every area of life HERE.

Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset: Designing the life of your dreams is an inevitable aspect of living in your queen energy. Stay informed, read books and articles on your industry, interests, current events, cultural happenings, history, and any other topic that brings you joy or you would find intriguing if someone brought up the subject at a dinner party. Mastering an evergreen skillset is essential for succeeding in your career or building a business. Living in your queen energy means living in abundance. While queen energy is a mindset, it is impossible to fully live in this dream reality without having passions and your finances in order. Start with my entire Femme Fatale booklist HERE and guide to building your dream career HERE.

Consistently Invest in Your Appearance: Choose between investing time, money, or extra effort into upkeeping a polished style, beauty, grooming, and physique-maintaining routine. Wear clean, wrinkle-free, well-fitting clothes – styled and accessorized in a way that appears thoughtful & put together with impeccable grooming (clean hair, nails, skin, etc.). Stay consistent with your beauty/makeup/skincare routines, smelling nice daily, and maintain a scheduled routine (weekly, monthly, every 6 weeks, etc.) for specific treatments that make your life easier and make all the difference. These practices don't need to cost a lot of money. You choose to spend more money, time, or effort on these practices, depending on your personal preferences and based on your lifestyle and circumstances.

Remain Dedicated To Lifelong Learning: Make it a priority to read a few articles and 10 pages of a book daily. Ensuring keep up with your learning & education on different topics and the world is fulfilling and enables you to enter into a wider pool of conversations. This practice also strengthens your mind, sharpens focus, and helps your brain relax.

Personalize Your Interactions & Learn Proper Etiquette: Address people by name, and offer a firm handshake. Maintain eye contact. Say "please" and "thank you." RSVP promptly. Communicate clearly and compassionately. Make the person feel special and like the only individual in the room while introducing yourself. It’s the secret to leaving a lasting impression,

Master The Art of Engaging Conversation: Prioritizing self-presentation, learning how to listen, holding your own, and encouraging others to feel relaxed are the secrets to becoming magnetic in any social situation. Be mindful of how much you listen (more) and speak (less). Carefully consider your tonality and word choice. Remember and recounter the small details of another person’s anecdote that felt important to them. Acknowledge their emotions and validate them. Read more of my tips HERE.

Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless: Do as you please, but keep your business (or pleasure) to yourself. Privacy is peace, power, bliss, and radiates quiet confidence – the greatest telltale sign that someone is living in her queen energy. Learn to hold your own. You will be guaranteed to earn respect within seconds of gracing anyone's presence.

Embrace Growth Without Succumbing To Your Perfectionist Expectations: Remember that every skill, successful relationship, and goal takes time and experience. No one has it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re not where you expected to be or desire to be at this stage of your life. Stop comparing yourself – we all have our own paths. Choose to do one small thing every day to make your life better – either a step towards reaching a goal or indulging in a deep desire. Ensure there's a healthy (not necessarily equal) balance between the two. Leave your future self better than you found your past self. Express compassion towards yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing your best. Everything starts to make considerably more sense in hindsight.

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intheholler · 3 months

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Appalachia & Southeastern USA LGBTQ+ Resource Masterpost

Under the cut, you'll find queer-focused resources sorted by state.

I have a sister post with donation links for those outside of the region who'd like to help us grow.

If you aren't from the region, I encourage you to find the organization that speaks to you the most, put your money where your mouth is and help us be better.

If you are from the region, I sincerely hope this can help you or someone you know in some way.

This list is inexhaustive as Tumblr is only permitting 100 links (which is also what necessitates the sister post and is why you may not see your contribution unfortunately).

Disclaimer: I do not (necessarily) personally endorse these organizations, nor have I vetted them thoroughly. If I have included anything you know to be detrimental or harmful in any way, please DM immediately me so I can rectify it.

General Regional Resources

Appalachian Outreach organizes events and provides access to resources for the queer community all across Appalachia.

STAY (Central Appalachia) is a youth-led activist organization in central Appalachia.

Trans in the South is a directory for gender-affirming healthcare in the south.

Southerners on New Ground (SONG) is a queer liberation group funding projects, protests, and campaigns to build a queer-friendly south.

Southern Trans Youth Emergency Project (STYEP) connects trans youth affected by anti-trans legislation with gender-affirming healthcare providers in the southeast; they offer grants up to $500 to individuals for emergency support.

Trans Health Project helps trans folks understand, access and utilize their medical insurance. They provide grants for gender-affirming surgeries.

Campaign for Southern Equality provides funding, training and resources for/to queer individuals and activists.

Not region specific, but important all the same: Help suspected transgender John and Jane Does regain their identities.

Resources by State

Alabama

AIDS Alabama helps provide housing to vulnerable individual and families, including helping queer youth find housing.

ALTGO’s list of local resources for gender-affirming care, legal services and generally queer-friendly physical/mental healthcare.

The Knights & Orchids Society provides housing, healthcare, and general support to the Black queer community.

Based in Birmingham, Magic City Acceptance Center offers supportive safe spaces and direct support to 52 counties in Alabama.

Medical Advocacy and Outreach in southern Alabama provides HIV+ care, as well as HIV & hepatitis C testing.

Prism United funds free therapy and hosts gatherings for queer individuals along the Gulf Coast.

Shoals Diversity Center is a Florence-based group that offers mental health services, support groups and other resources for the queer community in the Shoals area.

T.A.K.E. Resource Center provides direct support, grants, housing advocacy and other services for trans women of color in Alabama.

Thrive Alabama facilitates access to queer-focused healthcare services in North Alabama.

Georgia

Carollton Rainbow organizes queer-focused social events in West Georgia and provides tools for advocacy in the community.

Emmaus House is a soup kitchen in Savannah also providing laundry and shower facilities.

Emory is an Atlanta-based, queer-focused law firm.

Feminist Women’s Health Center (I know the name isn’t necessarily ideal, sorry) in Atlanta offers trans-inclusive, affordable medical care. They also provide access to abortions.

First City Network in Savannah provides referral services for healthcare, advocacy, education and mutual aid for queer Georgians.

List of housing assistance in the Savannah area

Stonewall Bar Association of Georgia serves the queer community’s legal needs in Georgia.

Kentucky

AIDS Volunteers of Lexington (AVOL) provides housing and assistance to low-income people living with HIV/AIDS.

Arbor Youth Services provides emergency shelter to queer youth in Louisville, up to age 24.

Berea Human Rights Commission offers free investigations into claims of housing or employment discrimination with a focus on queer folks.

Kentucky Health Justice Network provides referrals to gender-affirming providers, as well as financial assistance for trans healthcare and abortions.

Kentucky Youth Law Project provides free representation to queer youth.

Massive Kentuckian LGBTQ resource list provided by Lexington Pride Center, broken down into easy-to-browse categories.

Louisville Youth Group strives to give queer youth the tools and skills they need to grow personally and facilitate positive change in their communities.

Sweet Evening Breeze helps queer young adults in Kentucky between the ages of 18-24 obtain emergency housing.

Trans Kentucky’s list of gender-affirming healthcare providers across the state

Guide on changing your name following gender-affirming surgeries in Kentucky, and a tool to help you do so.

Louisiana

AcadianaCares supports folks living with HIV/AIDS while providing support to houseless and impoverished individuals.

ACLU Louisiana website.

Community resources in New Orleans, Baton Rouge and Lafayette (much of it only provides addresses and emails, so it’s hard to link individually here).

Directory of trans-focused healthcare providers

List of in-person and online queer support groups. In-person groups are based in Monroe, Lafayette and Baton Rouge.

Mutual aid in Shreveport

Out of the Closet provides clothing for the queer community with multiple locations throughout the state.

OUTnorthla is a queer film-festival hosted by PACE Louisiana.

Queer-forward healthcare in Louisiana.

QUEERPORT is a grassroots org offering a platform for queer creatives.

Tulane Drop-In Clinic provides free medical and social services to runaway and otherwise houseless youth.

Guides for legal name changes in Louisiana.

Mississippi

Capital City Pride hosts pride events, meet-ups and book clubs for the queer community around Jackson.

Gulf Coast Equality hosts drag shows, food drives and other events for the Gulf Coast area.

The Spectrum Center in Hattiesburg offers a community closet, short-term emergency housing, free HIV testing and scheduled support groups/events for the queer community in Hattiesburg.

Violet Valley Bookstore is a queer feminist bookshop owned by a published lesbian author in Water Valley.

Guide for name changes in Mississippi.

North Carolina

Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group (CTHCG) connects trans folks with gender-affirming care.

Down Home NC helps rural working class communities organize to advocate for their rights.

Guilford Green Foundation & LGBTQ Center provides financial support to queer nonprofits and activist groups in NC to fight anti-queer legislation.

Ladies of the T is provides resources and support to trans and gender non-conforming women of color in the Tri-City area. .

North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Attorneys (NCPMB) provides attorney referrals, visibility, and support for the queer community.

Pitt County Aids Service Organization (PICASO) provides HIV prevention and testing services in Eastern NC, as well as support for individuals living with HIV/AIDS.

Asheville-based Tranzmission’s compilation of trans-focused medical, social and legal resources in WNC.

Triad Health Project provides free HIV testing, contraceptives, prevention outreach, daycare and access to their food pantry in Guilford County.

Durham-based Triangle Empowerment Center provides the queer community with emergency housing, access to PrEP, as well as support groups and other events.

South Carolina

Harriet Hancock Center is a community center offering social support for queer individuals in the Midlands area.

Free gender-affirming gear to South Carolinians!!!

Alliance for Full Acceptance (AFFA), a queer-focused social justice group

List of queer-friendly medical providers across the state

Uplift Outreach provides safe spaces for queer youth in Spartanburg.

Charleston Black Pride serves the queer POC community in the low country area.

We are Family Charleston’s community center hosts support groups and provides direct support to the queer community around Charleston. They offer microgrants to trans individuals in the state as well as in-person support groups and aforementioned free stuff for trans folks.

Closet Case is a thrift store by and for queer individuals, operated by We Are family, offering safe and affordable clothes shopping.

T-Time holds support groups for trans individuals, based in Myrtle Beach.

Palmetto Community Care provides confidential HIV testing and support as well as free contraceptives.

South Carolina based community support network for the trans community

Legal assistance in Columbia, SC/Midlands area

Guide on changing your name in South Carolina

List of queer-safe, gender-affirming care providers in Columbia, SC

Tennessee

CHOICES provides low-cost LGBTQ healthcare, among other services, such as abortions.

Emergency housing in Tennessee for those living with AIDS

Launch Pad helps queer youth among others obtain emergency shelter in the Nashville area.

Metamorphosis provides transitional housing and other emergency support for queer youth between 18 - 24.

Mountain Access Brigade provides abortion funding across the state.

My Sistah’s House in Memphis provides emergency housing and support for queer people of color, as well as access to health services for sex workers.

The Seed Theatre in Chattanooga provides free resources such as binders for the trans community and hosts safe, social spaces.

Tennessee HIV Prevention & Care

Trans Empowerment Project provides support to trans and gender-nonconforming folks around Knoxville.

Youth Villages provides emergency housing for youth under 18.

List of trans-focused healthcare providers across the state.

Virginia

Counseling, free hygiene products, temporary housing and more provided by Side by Side VA

Virginia Home for Boys and Girls partners with Pride Place to provide temporary housing for queer young adults (18-25).

Side by Side VA provides temporary housing for queer youth for up to 6 months.

Nationz, based in Henrico, provides free STI/HIV testing, food pantry, PrEP, and notary services for the queer community.

Justice 4 All provides legal aid for low-income Virginians.

Virginia Rural health Association’s list of gender-affirming healthcare providers

General rural healthcare resources in Virginia

West Virginia

Dr. Rainbow connects folks with queer-friendly care in the state.

Fairness West Virginia’s list of gender-affirming care providers.

Harmony House West Virginia provides queer-friendly shelter for houseless people.

Holler Health Justice is a queer- and POC-led mutual aid organization based in WV, though they seem open to serving all Appalachians.

Holler Health Justice also provides financial/logistic support to West Virginians seeking abortions.

WVFREE connects West Virginians with birth control providers.

Nearby gender-affirming care for trans youth at the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Transgender Health Center.

#appalachia #appalachian #anti-fascist south #queer #queer resources #alabama #georgia #kentucky #louisiana #mississippi #north carolina #south carolina #tennessee #virginia #west virginia

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dromaeocore · 10 months

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For those of you who like the idea of peer respites, I just want to say these are not the only alternatives to the mainstream psych system :] Here's a big ol' list, and many/most of them are peer-run. I live in America, so a lot of this is US-based, but I've tried to make it as internationally accessible as possible!

I'll start with the live-in options. So ya'll already know about peer respites, if you read my latest post about it. There's a few more similar things out there.

Soteria Houses - More long-term (months+) community homes for folks with lived experience of psychosis/similar extreme states, with peer support, that focus on a humane and person-centered approach. Much more freedom & agency than your traditional group home.

Hurdalsjøen Recovery Center - a "medication-free" (aka medication-optional) psychiatric hospital in Norway. Allows patients to choose whether to stay on or taper/remain off psychiatric drugs. Focused on healthy eating, exercise, and recreational therapy options.

Bethel House - Similar to Soteria Houses, a homelike environment in Japan for people with schizophrenia, etc. that focuses on social reintegration.

Organizations, clubs, groups, etc:

Students With Psychosis - A peer support community with programming for students with psychosis

International Map of Hearing Voices/Intervoice networks - Non=pathological support groups for people who hear voices, see visions, etc. US directory, UK directory.

Clubhouse International - Gives people with mental illness opportunities for friendship, employment, housing, educational, and medical services all in one place. Founded by a group of friends who survived a psychiatric hospital together.

Project LETS - A radical approach to peer support and healing that has a disability justice centered approach, giving people with lived experience a voice and focusing on mutual aid. They provide peer mental health advocates, self-harm prevention, and more.

The Mad Society of Canada: A grassroots community of practice that brings together folks who want to provide non-coercive, ethical, survivor-informed mental health services/policy.

Power to the Plurals: Resources and events for people who identify as plural/multiple/systems.

The Wildflower Alliance: Grassroots peer support, training, and advocacy community based in Massachusetts.

Alternatives To Suicide (Alt2Su): Peer support groups that allow people to talk about suicidal thoughts without fear of being committed to the hospital, etc

Trainings:

Intentional Peer Support = Trauma-informed peer support training

Emotional CPR - Trauma-informed mental health support training program for the layperson

Hearing Voices Curriculum: Targeted towards mental health professionals to better understand the experience of hearing voices. Warning: It's expensive!

Cities that have a particularly awesome way of dealing with folks in crisis/with mental illness/etc:

Geel - a farming community where residents welcome people suffering with severe mental illness/distress into their homes and live with them, share work, etc (Edit: apparently Geel is a small city with like 40,000 people and not a farming community lol, I was misinformed. Thanks to @roxbot for the correction!)

Trieste - a city with a community centered system of care that integrates housing and peer support

Warmlines (generally run by peers) and Crisis Lines that don't call the cops: (Most of these are taken from this post by trans-axolotl on Crisis Lines)

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860, 24/7

BlackLine: 1 (800) 604-5841, has texting options

The Plural Warmline (No number, check the site)

THRIVE: text message line at 313-662-8209, 24/7

Promise Resource Network: (833) 390-7728, 24/7

Project Return Peer Support Network: (888) 448-9777 English or (888) 448-4055 Spanish, hours are Monday through Friday 2:30 PM to 10:00 PM PST and Saturday and Sunday 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM PST

Wildflower Alliance Peer Support Line: 888-407-4515, hours are 7pm to 9pm EST Monday through Thursday and 7pm-10pm EST Friday through Sunday

Key Consumer Organization: 800-933-5397, hours are 8am - 4:30pm EST, Monday - Friday.

MBRLC Peer Support Line: 877-733-7563, hours are 4 pm-7:45 pm EST every day.

US Warmline Directory (unlikely to call cops, but check with the individual line first)

Misc:

CommonGround software - A software developed by Dr. Pat Deegan (an individual who was diagnosed with schizophrenia) that allows clients to communicate their needs to their doctors more efficiently to support shared-decision making with medication.

Open Dialogue- An psychosocial approach to psychiatric services that focuses shared decision-making and dialogue between client, providers, and family (if the client wants family involved), and often more minimal use of medication.

Integrative Psychiatry - A holistic form of psychiatry that focuses on nutrition, exercise, therapy, and psychosocial factors, where medication is just an aspect of treatment. US database of integrative psychiatrists here.

I will also give a somewhat honorable mention to Mobile Crisis Teams. They are a fairly new alternative to the usual "call the cops on your local mentally ill person". They are composed of nurses, therapists, social workers, occasionally peer support workers, etc. They hook the individual up with support/resources - which can often mean forced hospitalization/forced treatment FYI - but it is a step up from being killed by cops. Look up "[city] Mobile Crisis Team" to find out if there is one in your city.

A note: Something being on this list =/= it is perfect, just that it is an alternative to what we've got. So don't come at me, lmao. Feel free to add on if you know of anything else!

#long post #VERY long post lol #mental health #psychiatry #psych critical #psychiatry critical #psych wards #mental illness #neurodivergency #police brutality #antipsych #antipsychiatry #anti psychiatry #peer support #oh i'm gonna write a book on all this stuff btw uwu #WHAT ELSE CAN I TAG THIS WITH SO IT SHOWS UP FOR PPL???

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radicalgraff · 2 years

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Another “crisis pregnancy center' was vandalized, this time in West Asheville.

Folks busted out the windows and the main entrance and left messages that said "If abortions aren't safe neither are you"and "No forced births” along the walls.

Centers like this one are a key part of anti-abortion disinformation and harassment networks. These disgusting and dangerous sites tell pregnant people that abortions cause breast cancer and severe mental health issues.

They pressure and traumatize people with their evangelical propaganda, fear monger with no valid or scientifically accurate claims, and most often times have little to no training- including when they attempt “abortion pill reversal” - the unscientific and unethical practice of injecting high-dose progesterone.

They also overwhelmingly lack medical professionals and any real resources in their centers, offering little more than a pregnancy test and psychological pressure and severe trauma.

#defend abortion access #jane's revenge #vandals #anarchy #anarchist #graff #graffiti #anarchism

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multiplicity-positivity · 7 months

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Depersonalization and Derealization Resource List

As with our list of resources for questioning systems, we will update this as we find new information! Feel free to reach out if there’s any info you’d like us to add!

A note on these sources: many of these sources are articles written by individuals struggling with depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR). Not every source will be backed in research - many are firsthand accounts from those trying their best to cope with this illness. We feel that reading firsthand accounts and understanding how others are actively coping with DPDR can be an excellent way to find hope and learn to cope for yourself. Additionally, many of these articles are written by folks trying to sell something. It is possible to visit these sites and learn more about DPDR without actually signing up for a service or paying for something!

Cleveland Clinic’s How to Cope with Depersonalization

Tips for coping with depersonalisation and derealisation from Young Minds

Manhattan Mental Health Counseling’s How to Deal with Derealization?

How to Cope With Depersonalization Disorder and Take Control of Your Life by Kentucky Counseling Center

Derealization: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatments by Choosing Therapy

NAMI’s Derealization: The Symptom That Makes the World Feel Unreal

Depersonalization-derealization disorder by Augusta Health

Resources to Recover’s Depersonalization / Derealization Disorder: DO’s and DON’T’s

Depersonalization Disorder by Osmosis from Elsevier

The DP Manual Website (has lots of great info you can access without a purchase)

What Do the Terms “Depersonalization” and “Derealization” Mean? by FHE Health

Depersonalization and Derealization by Psychology Tools

The subreddit r/DPDR’s official resource guide

Our own infographic on Depersonalization vs. Derealization

We hope this list will help folks who are curious about DPDR or are struggling themselves with these symptoms. As always, please do your best to take care of yourself, and have a great day!

#dpdr #dpdr disorder #depersonalization/derealization disorder #depersonalization #derealization #dissociation #dissociative disorder

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fairuzfan · 2 months

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It's the zionist concern anon again. I will say for now that with what you said about prioritizing Palestinians I do agree. The people going through a genocide are a bigger priority than people who are not going through a genocide. I just fear that due to the fact I am neither Palestinian or Jewish that I may end up embracing stances that I do not actually understand and that innocent people may suffer because of it. I do not want to be irresponsible. I am also someone who lives in a country built on stolen land, so that does to some sort of extent influence my feelings on Isreal as I imagine many people in Isreal share my thoughts on the fact we have lived our entire lives on stolen land. As I said before, I also do not know any Palestinians personally so I find it hard to know who I can ask about the history, Hamas, technical details of politics, etc without risking being taught the wrong things. On a much more selfish note, I also struggle with debilitating mental health issues that make it very difficult to navigate moral issues especially if the moral issues do not impact me on a personal level. So if I am being honest, my questions are not entirely selfless as I have very self-centered fears on if I am actually a horrible person. I thank you again for being so understanding, but I figure the right thing to do here is admit I am likely not as pure intentioned in my questions as I should be when a large factor to why I worked up the courage to ask is in hope I am worrying too much about my quality of moral character from a selfish perspective. Again, I thank you for being so understanding and willing to answer these asks instead of just brushing me off as a horrible zionist.

I don't think you're a horrible person at all I just think everyone has underlying zionist biases because it's a product of the society we live in.

And I do understand where you're coming from, honestly. Something that always helps me is remembering something that my parents taught me as a kid: always stand on the side of the oppressed. Now as I grew up I realized you have to define what oppression means and I think exploring that will also help you get a better understanding of how to combat other forms of racism/antisemitism/transphobia/etc.

If you do want to learn about hamas tho, I would suggest taking a look at Tareq Baconi, he has a lot of writings about the history of Hamas and he's Palestinian. There are also Palestinian podcasts and social media accounts. I understand that not knowing a palestinian personally to help you guide yourself through these things is daunting, but there are plenty of resources to help! It's why I'm here on this blog honestly, I don't mind you reaching out to me for questions or anything.

A good principle to remind ourselves with is "how can I ensure that justice can be had?" And to find the answer to that you need to look into multiple types of antizionist thought. Some blogs I like to check out for a diverse antizionist opinion are @el-shab-hussein and @bringmemyrocks as a couple of examples. Plus I'd look to Black American thinkers on antiracism (like Angela Davis and James Baldwin and Kwame Ture) because they do a good job of showing you how to examine your internal biases which we are all subject to.

I don't think this selfish to want to be a good person. I have the same worries. I actually do get worried that sometimes I'm *actually* a bad person secretly without me realizing and I reach out to friends and family to talk it out. Something that helps me through this is realizing that you have to forgive yourself for previous beliefs you've had and promise yourself to do better because at the end of the day youre human and you make mistakes.

But really my biggest advice is to read and listen to a variety of schools of thought and if you can, interact with local communities dedicated to antiracism. Even if theyre digital communities! That will help a lot with identifying any problem points.

Again, feel free to reach out with any questions. I don't think you're a zionist at all! Please don't worry and thanks for reaching out :)

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spacelazarwolf · 9 months

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i know you’re not my therapist but i see some people asking you for advice so i hope this is okay, feel free to ignore it: just… the way transmascs and transmasc issues are treated by society at large is really getting to me and affecting my mental health. even trying to access “trans” resource centers or resources in general and they’re geared primarily towards transfems or they see that im not a trans woman and their tone towards me completely shifts in a negative way, transmasc issues at large being willfully ignored, i mean just about the only place i see anyone talk about them without immediately getting attacked is on tumblr and even then the conversations get shut down. I’m scared to talk about feeling alienated as a trans man with a therapist because i’m scared of them shutting me down even though thats the exact opposite of what therapists are supposed to do. it just feels like people don’t even want us to exist. my mental health is reeeally suffering because of this and i feel like i can’t talk about this to anyone. like… there has to be a way it gets better right?

it absolutely does get better. in terms of online experience, use the block button liberally. it's something i'm trying to do better about myself, just not giving people the time of day who won't engage in good faith. my block list must be a whole archive by now.

in terms of in person experience, i was really surprised by how many other trans men and trans mascs immediately opened up when i brought up the feelings of isolation i was struggling with. it's definitely something that's still taboo to talk about, but if you find those spaces where you can just sit down and talk candidly, it's a really healing experience. if you need to kind of dip your toe in first to see how they'll react, that's fine, but seriously i was shocked when i started connecting with more trans men and trans mascs in my area and there was this immediate, huge sigh of relief when i tentatively brought up those topics. i've also talked to a lot of trans women and trans femmes and nonbinary people in general irl who are very receptive as well, and often open up about the ways it affects them as well. there's more of us out here who want things to get better than tumblr dot com would have us believe.

#ask avishai

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gatheringbones · 6 months

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[“Punishment for perpetrators can certainly, understandably bring satisfaction for both victims and their supporters. But as abolitionist scholar-activist Mariame Kaba has argued, personal anger and vendettas shouldn’t be the driving force behind policymaking. “It’s not wrong to feel what you feel—relief, or even happiness—when the system snaps up the powerful, but the only way to achieve real justice is to build it ourselves, outside of the system,” Kaba has said. “Abolitionism is not a politics mediated by emotional responses.”

State-rendered punishment for abusers also doesn’t improve the material conditions of victims’ lives; it doesn’t provide them with mental health services or other health care, or address the economic ramifications of surviving abuse by compensating them in any way. As the abolitionist writer Micah Herskind has written, “Our response to harm does not need to be either a cage or doing nothing at all, though these are generally the only options on offer from the state.” Further, “punishment, consequences, and accountability are distinct categories.” And while abolitionists oppose policies rooted in punishment—“the infliction of cruelty and suffering on people”—they “firmly believe in consequences (requirements for and demands made of those who have caused harm), which are determined in direct relationship to the harm in question,” Herskind wrote. These processes involve all who were impacted by the harm in question to collectively determine steps toward accountability and call on the perpetrator to “[take] responsibility for harm caused and [work] toward repair and changed behavior.”

Anti-carceral scholars and advocates have put forth frameworks known as transformative justice and restorative justice to address and repair harm without further reproducing harm or relying on processes that retraumatize victims. Restorative justice brings together the victim, perpetrator, and the community without imposing the involvement of state actors or law enforcement. It centers the victim and their needs to heal and determines how the perpetrator can make amends as well as what needs to be done to ensure the community at large feels safe. Transformative justice is broader—it requires us to proactively work to change the social conditions and systemic inequities that cause harm to happen in the first place.

“Transformative justice asks how we can respond to harm without creating more harm and transform the conditions that led to harm. A transformative justice framework rejects the victim-perpetrator binary in recognition that we all experience and cause harm,” Herskind wrote. Restorative justice and transformative justice go hand in hand. They’re rooted in an understanding that the carceral state is fundamentally unequipped to address issues of interpersonal violence and harm; instead it reproduces the conditions that lead to violence—the funding of prisons and policing at the expense of community resources—and disproportionately, deliberately targets people of color and marginalized people. As I’ve explored at length in this book, state violence and interpersonal violence are inseparable from each other—as a result, the state can never be a reliable arbiter to address interpersonal harm and violence.”]

kylie cheung, from survivor injustice: state-sanctioned abuse, domestic violence, and the fight for bodily autonomy, 2023

#kylie cheung #cw rape #cw abuse #currently reading

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genderqueerdykes · 1 year

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Trans and Queer Resources for People Living in/near Albuquerque New Mexico, or Looking to Relocate in The American Southwest

I am making this post because this is where I live, and fortunately, there are a lot of queer resources available in the area. I was able to transition because of the resources here, and continue to feel safe and thrive here as a queer person, so I want to pass them on to anyone else who may need them:

General queer community resources:

Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico - Available to all ages- has a wide variety of resources for all trans, gender non conforming and nonbinary people including directing you to providers who will prescribe HRT, access to name changing and gender marker changes, support groups for a wide variety of identities, free food, housing programs for housing challenged and homeless trans people, and much more. Their building is also beautiful on the inside, they have a library of queer literature- I can't recommend them enough, I have been here personally.

LGBTQ Resource Center UNM - An LGBT/queer resource center located on the Las Lomas UNM campus. They provide a wide variety of resources including classes on safe sex, providing resources and support groups for various queer people, giving students access to safe and supportive housing on campus, counseling, HIV testing, food, and much more. They are available to be accessed by students and the general public alike

Albuquerque U21 (Commonbond) - A program and safe space available to any queer person under the age of 21 to socialize with other queer individuals and have a place to discuss queer issues. They also have community events such as DnD nights, cooking classes, book clubs and community speakers who discuss queer issues.

Casa Q - a program and shelter available to queer youth aged 14 - 17 who are at risk of homelessness or are struggling with housing stability, or other issues related to queerness and survival and staying housed.

PFLAG Albuquerque - a group which currently meets on Zoom that discusses queer issues in the community on the whole as well as locally in Albuquerque. A support group as well as a platform for activism and a place to go to talk to and find other queer people and resources.

Therapy, mental health services & other gender affirming care:

Bright Spaces NM - a way for queer patients to search for queer friendly healthcare providers in their area, as well as look for other programs provided by the organization.

Therapists specializing in helping transgender patients in the Albuquerque area - take lists like this with a train of salt, therapists love to market themselves as trans/lgbt friendly, but it's good to have a list to work with

Sage Neuroscience - a mental health care provider specializing a wide variety of conditions and hosting a wide variety of services including queer informed therapy, gender affirming care, medication management, group therapy, substance use help, and more.

High Desert Healing - a mental health care provider with a large number of queer specialized & focused therapists.

Southwest Care - have several providers which specialize in gender affirming care.

UNM Truman Center - a general health provider through the local university hospital system that providers gender affirming care services to a wide variety of local trans people. This clinic is severely overbooked and is used by a ton of local trans people, so try other places first before trying here.

Agora Crisis Center - a crisis center that is informed and safe for queer individuals struggling with mental health who need a safe place to talk about whatever issues they may be facing. They are a a hotline that can be called, and have a large list of local resources on their website as well.

For those of us who already live here, or given all that's happening right now, Texas and many other states are not a safe place for queer people of any stripe, and there are many folks looking to relocate to safer places in the American southwest for queer people and those who are looking to safely medically transition. Please keep in mind that most places in the US are in a housing crisis right now, so always do your research and sort out housing and safe relocation before making any decisions.

This is not a "move to here right now" post but rather a collection of queer resources available to people living here, as well as for people who are looking to relocate to a more queer friendly state in the American southwest. Albuquerque has issues like crime, it is not perfect here, so please be aware that it's not a good idea to just drop what you are doing and relocate to any place for any reason without doing research first. There is no place in the United States that is a "haven", we just happen to have a lot of queer resources here if they are needed.

I will add more resources as I find/think of them.

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