#merry christmas this experience aged me 5 years

[interact-if]

Day 5 of our Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month Featured Author Interviews, continuing with Allie!

Allie, author of College Tennis: Origin Story

Will the once-great Cargill Coyotes succeed in reclaiming the NCAA Div I championship title for the first time since the 90s? Will you succeed in making a name for yourself, both on and off the tennis court? And perhaps more importantly…how much are you willing to sacrifice in pursuit of these dreams? Start at the bottom as a newly-recruited freshman at Cargill university, and claw your way to the championships. Forge lifelong friendships, pursue budding romances, attend classes, and rush term papers -or party- till the sun comes up.

Read more about College Tennis: Origin Story here. Play the Demo here. Tags: Sport, Slice-of-life.

Allie is also the author of Merry Crisis.

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1. Hello! Could you tell us a little bit about to yourself and your project?

Hi! Really thrilled to be part of the IF community - thanks for having me! I’m Singaporean Chinese, 25, an urban planner by day (scattered hobbyist by night/weekend). Nice to meet all of you! :) I have two public projects at the moment. Both are character-driven, slice-of-life IFs that deal with similar themes: family/friendships, coming-of-age in one’s early 20s (CT:OS) and mid/late-20s (Merry Crisis), self-worth and ambition, plus a healthy dose of lightheartedness/romance. In College Tennis: Origin Story, the main character is a college athlete plunged into the chaos of life on a varsity team, with shenanigans on-and-off the tennis court. There’s a fiery, surly-but-secretly-sweet rival, a confident, laid-back captain, a fun-loving hometown best-friend, a snarky, non-committal foreign exchange student, a bumbling fool of a roommate, a well-meaning but potentially estranged dad, and a suite of other characters. Merry Crisis is a little closer to home, and certainly more of a hobby project. The current demo chapter was written in 2-3 feverish nights, and centers around an MC who lives in New York post-college, and returns home (to Singapore) for Christmas. A week back home - nothing can go wrong, right? I envision this IF to be somewhat of an Asian-take on holiday movies - heartwarming, a little sad, a little frustrating/traumatic, but big-hearted, all the same.

Q2. What inspired your current project?

For College Tennis: Origin Story, the simple answer is that I love sports games, especially sports games that focus on the story / inner-conflicts, i.e. the “heart/soul”, rather than pure mechanics. What goes on in a tennis player’s head when they’re down 40-love at a crucial point? When I discovered IF, everything just clicked. It’s the perfect format for exploring these stories because it allows both introspection and reader/player agency. 

Merry Crisis was born purely from being back home after living overseas for more than 4 years. It was… an experience. I wanted to write something about the complex relationship we have with our families, our birthplaces, and our first-loves. And capture all the bittersweet feelings about loss of innocence (knowing what lies beyond the grass pastures of one’s birthplace), the loss of freedom (going back to being somebody’s child, somebody’s sibling, etc. rather than untethered, foreign), plus the things that one gains, too, by ‘coming home’ - the immediate feeling of familiarity, of ‘belonging’ to a place.

Q3. Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

For College Tennis: Origin Story, I write based on what it was like to play in a varsity team in an American college as a person-of-color, and a non-American queer person. A lot of the characters are based off of real-life friends (and uh, exes). I hope that brings some…soul, or flavor, and a bit of realism to the characters and their stories. I also try to borrow from my own experiences for the biggest plot-points/beats that I’ve planned out, e.g. when writing Rayyan and Tobin, I channel the experience of needing/wanting to prove one’s worth, to be seen as perfect, or worthy, or ‘twice-as-good’, as a POC. With Genevieve/Guillaume, I wanted to write about what it was like to feel like college is a transient, fleeting dream I’ll wake up from one day. Merry Crisis is essentially me forcing everyone to inhabit my world, if only for a week over Christmas. Short answer: The IF very much pulls from my own experiences/feelings, mostly of simultaneously loving and wanting to flee this place I call home. Long answer: As a queer Singaporean woman, you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been asked when I’m going to get married, whether I’m ever going to have kids, and whether I’m queer because no dude would possibly like me (insert laundry list of potential reasons: because I’m too tan, westernised, argumentative, over-educated etc.) Even my straight friends grapple with the same expectations, especially as we approach our mid/late-20s. I wanted to give everyone the dubious honor of coming up with their own answers to these pesky questions :)

Q4. What are you most excited about your project?

Finishing it, so I can go write something else. Just kidding (not really).

For both College Tennis: Origin Story and Merry Crisis, I’m excited about fleshing out the characters, their motives, feelings, backgrounds, and seeing where the story leads. I love character-driven books, movies etc. and I get excited thinking about all the directions and themes I can explore by telling these different stories (as well as through MC’s possible relationships - platonic or otherwise - with these characters!) 

P.S. For Merry Crisis, The romantic options are meant to be quite distinct people, and if I’m to get slightly ‘literary’, they also symbolize a different kind of archetypal relationship with Singapore / societal pressures. There’s the American-ex, a soul-mate, representing everything that feels ‘right’ but irrevocably different; Then there’s the Singaporean-ex, aloof, successful, the epitome of what MC could’ve been, if they’d toed the line, stayed home. Then there’s the neighbour, loose and brash, unperturbed by the rules / conventions that seem to constrict both local and foreign worlds.

Q5. What has your experience writing an IF and with the IF community been like?

I know it sounds cheesy, but I love writing and reading IFs, I love the IF community, mostly because I love the two-way conversation between creators and their audience. It’s so great how collaborative and active and interactive and nurturing/nourishing the IF community feels. A big thank you to everyone who has supported me in some way or form, and to everyone who’s played/read the IFs or left a note. It most definitely made me smile!

Q6. What changes in the IF community would you like to see?

IF/text-based games leave so much more room for non-mainstream stories to be told (after all, how many blockbuster movies, or triple-A games feature main characters/ROs that are non-white, or queer, or non-binary etc.?!) I’d love to see the IF community continue to grow, and continue to feature diverse voices/stories!

Q7. What piece of advice would you give to fellow creators?

Don’t be afraid to take a step back, and go do something else that seems unrelated (I’m a big believer in the notion that everything we do provides us with unique perspectives, experiences, relationships etc. that we can bring to the other aspects of our life). Take breaks! I also love the idea of “tinkering” and experimenting, because it removes the pressure of creating something great. Creating (and celebrating) shitty things, things that fail, things that’ll never be completed, ugly/imperfect things etc etc. is so important!

#if: events #Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month #API 2022

[dzpenumbra]

12/26/22

Merry Christmas!

I started my day by going to the PTSD subreddit, looking for people who were struggling today, and leaving thoughtful, honest, inspiring comments for them. I hope it made an impact. It's a bittersweet feeling for me. I still get very self-conscious about being misinterpreted and taken out of context. Something about the public nature of posting really heartfelt shit on social media, I guess. But, I swear, this fear only developed over the past like... 5 years, tops. I never used to have this problem. In fact, the account that I'm using, my primary account has posts on mental health subreddits telling my story from well over 10 years ago. I made it a point to not delete anything, to trust my story to tell itself. To not let fear make decisions for me. Now... well, I guess that's kinda the PTSD thing, in a way. I think it's trauma that did it. Betrayal of trust, shit like that. Either that or I'm just 20 years late in developing teenage trust issues. I don't know.

But yeah, it's bittersweet because it still feels like... I'm speaking from a place of expertise... and I'm usually one of the only people in the comments that's not just repeating something that was said to them by a therapist or a friend or a group therapy leader or something they read in a book. I speak like this. From the heart. And from personal experiences. And I try my hardest to disclaim that, though I really don't have to, but you know... in the Age of Anxiety, how could you NOT put a label on a bag of rice cakes that says "Do not heat these in a toaster". How could I NOT sabotage my own credibility within the first sentence of giving advice by saying "just keep in mind, this is my personal experience, and your mileage may vary, and I might be completely wrong, please don't yell at me, sir or ma'am." It's so obnoxious, I hate it... but like... I hate that it makes sense to do it, to the point where it feels almost... mandatory.

So yeah, I left people some heartfelt perspectives, and I think they were appreciated. I got up and got kitty food. She puked again, twice today, but I think it was hairballs this time. So I tried not to stress too much. I checked the rock tumbler, I was supposed to let gas out of it and check to make sure the solution in it didn't turn to sludge, and I think it's still okay so... yeah. But the barrels and tumbler are pretty hot... so I'm really gonna have to keep an eye on that. I poked some holes in the box over it, but I just don't want the thing to overheat, or be a fire risk or something. My other tumbler didn't do that, and I ran that thing in the summer, so I don't know what the deal is... but I'm just gonna keep an eye on it.

I recorded some more Rimworld. The story is very interesting and compelling. Just now, the story took some turns I really didn't feel comfortable with though. And that's a tough one. Like... it's a guy that's basically a vampire (but with a nano technology rather than vampirism being a virus), and he's stranded with his ex-wife who is a nurse and helped him get this nano-treatment to cure his terminal cancer. His ex-wife is like 25 years younger than him, so it's a little weird right off the bat, but there's the whole immortality element so it's just... all of it is super confusing ethically at that point... And they reconnect and become lovers again right off the bat, like day 2. After about a full season, they start fighting. I mean, the wife picks fights with the vampire dude. Oh shit, okay, forgot this happened first, so the wife has been starting to feel the effects of aging and she was getting food poisoning a lot so she was spending huge amounts of time in bed and she was miserable. The vampire dude offered to... infect(?) her? I don't know the right term. It's a genetic infection basically, so he would do a "procedure" where he'd inject her with some of his nanites and she would go into a coma for a few days while they essentially reprogram and overwrite her genes, giving her the genetic gifts that he got, the same way he got them from someone else - a nonexistent character I've been referring to as "The Doctor". And the catch... she was in a coma as a child for a long time. That trauma was part of what made her become a nurse. So like... this was probably the biggest decision of her life. And she went for it. So he gave her the gift...

However, I'm gonna try to put this lightly... she's a bit of a bitch. I'm still learning about her, and this game is absolutely nuts in how it will simulate these kinds of behavioral traits, especially with personality mods included. She's a misandrist, and she started to be very aggressive against vampire dude, very insulting in very deep ways, and regularly. This hit a breaking point and he actually broke up with her. This was while there was a third colony member that just joined, but he was away helping another faction harvest crops. Protein, is his name. Quite an unfortunate nickname, considering these two are literal cannibals, it kinda goes with the blood drinking thing. Like, not exclusively cannibalistic, but like... they consider themselves higher life-forms than humans, and consider human meat a sacred food as part of their spiritual beliefs. So, Protein... I couldn't pass up the chance to try to rescue that dude, and I was so glad he decided to join. But, what happened tonight was... the vampire dude... okay, he needs to do this thing called "deathrest" every... month or so? And it's basically like a 2-4 day coma where he's just out of commission, but if he completes it... he can get some pretty cool perks like faster movement and more nutrition from blood and stuff. And it's kinda mandatory, because he'll get pretty sick if he doesn't do it. So vampire dude (Lorall) goes in for his deathrest, and his ex-wife (Sylph) decides to hook up with Protein the next day. Yep. And then the second Lorall wakes up, he goes to cook some meals, then Sylph bee-lines into the kitchen, breaks the news to his face and starts insulting him again. And they get in a physical fight, but Sylph is a non-combatant, so like... she doesn't do acts of violence, despite initiating a fight... so it like... turned into a dude beating his vampire ex-wife, which was kinda really uncomfortable.

I don't like encountering infidelity or abuse stuff in story games like this. I mean, at all, really. It makes me really, really uncomfortable. I know it's important to include those things because they are things that happen and it's important for people to not think life is all sunshine and rainbows, that these things do happen in life, and when they do they look like this, as a cautionary tale. So people can recognize when those things are coming up, you know? I think that's super important. But, it still makes me really just want to stop recording, and I dread when it happens when I stream, it's just like... I start freezing up and go... no... no, come on... what are you doing... make better decisions, please, you're supposed to be a protagonist.

Well, here's another fun complication. I have over 7 hours of raw footage to work with here. I just played it back for the first bit because I didn't remember the character names by heart (I only really retain those when I say them out loud a lot). And... the videos don't have audio. YEP. 7 hours of silent film. It's still useable, I'm planning on doing the whole thing in the form of a "captain's log" journal entry style narration. Big shock, huh? And I don't mind the challenge of doing foley work. It's just a bummer. All I needed to do was fix one setting, but I didn't think to because I assumed OBS would do it for me, the whole default sound driver thing. But nope... so... cool...

Anyway, enough about that for right now. I thought the story was cool, though it did take some uncomfortable turns, maybe that just spices up the story in ways that I would not creatively have gone, maybe that's just a creative curveball that I need to see how it plays out. Like a main character dying or something, and you just need to see how it goes. The ex-wife turns out to not be the nicest person in the world, she's actually kinda cruel and vindictive, and aggressive. And the protagonist narrator, the vampire dude, is... physically abusive. And... does abuse really have the same implications for immortal beings who heal completely within hours? Does it carry the same weight? It definitely opens some interesting ethical questions.

Okay, enough about that for now, for real this time. I decided to make a present for my cat. Oooo okay, first I did yoga, that was good, I missed it yesterday, THEN I started to re-wrap my cat's big cat tree thing. It was a hand-me-down, the scratching rope was all torn to shit and cats really don't like scratching on that, so I ordered new sisal rope which came in yesterday. I cleaned up the carpet, trimmed it, tore out the old rope (salvaged what I could for god knows what craft project in the future) and put in the new stuff. It actually looks much nicer. I have another one to do on another one of the legs, but now that I know how to do it, it should be easy. I also joked about the only christmas tree I had was my cat tree, so I said screw it and decorated her tree with some christmas lights, my first time ever having my own christmas tree of any kind. I don't know if she even cares about the lights, but it was a nice moment for me. =D

Then I had a really good conversation with my mom. Like, things are getting surreal. She's opening her mind and educating herself a lot about mental health stuff, and she's starting to see everything that I've been seeing. And I feel like she's finally learning my language, which... is incredibly disorienting after like 4 years of feeling like I'm speaking Japanese to her. But it's very good. And she has a lot of insight about my personal history from childhood which has been immeasurably valuable in combatting my impostor syndrome. And she told me some really cool stories about my grandfather, who was apparently a lot like me too in a lot of ways, and was a pilot, which I always thought was really cool. We spent some time talking about Christmas and traditions and church and that kinda stuff, and the whole... ritual? I guess? Like... keeping up appearances, and getting attendance points? Making sure you show up for X or else you're going to get punished or some shit. And it was really nice to be on the same page about it, and I got to share some of my ancient cultural research about like... the origins of holidays like Christmas around this time of year. Why we celebrate family gatherings and even feasts in the middle of winter, of all times. What the point is. The Spirit of Christmas, right? Because this is a rough fucking time of year. Especially if you're in the North, I don't know if it's the same in the extreme Southern Hemisphere, but I'll tell ya... The lack of daylight. The cold. The difficulty traveling. The difficulty in heating. And I think back to the past, even just like 150 years ago, which is like... nothing, like 2 human lifespans. This was the time of year that a lot of people would just... not make it to Spring. Food would run out, people would get sick, travel would become near impossible, you were isolated and stuck with people. You need to make a deliberate point to ground that. To all individually remind yourselves "this is my family, we're all in this together, we need to appreciate each other and remember why we're all here". And that's what me and my mom did, and we told stories and bonded, it was very nice. I have always considered that... the true meaning of these kinds of holidays. And it was very nice to experience the real thing for once, and I really look forward to doing it again.

The rest of the night was leftovers, cookies and recording Rimworld. Now I'm super tired and I kinda want a bath before bed. I realize that despite having a fun chill day... I didn't do anything for myself except for 26 minutes of yoga. The cat tree was for my cat, the Rimworld is for an imaginary nonexistent audience, the phone call was for both my mom and myself. Well... the cookies were for me... XD So I kinda want to go draw a nice hot bath - at 3:30 AM - because it's cold as shit, and fuck it, it's my holiday, too. And if anyone is really bothered by me filling a tub at 3:30AM... I mean... what can I really do about that? They can get over it.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

[theswarmanthology]

Ryan, 16, Atlanta

"i think i really got into mcr a little bit when i first made a tumblr at age 9. so that’s seven years ago ? i didn’t really get deep into the fandom aspect until this year though. i’ve met some great people through this band, they’re all really sweet and it’s a really great community."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 3-5 years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 1 Favorite album: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: I'm still crying right now

Which date of the tour did you attend? 09/18/22, Ameris Bank Amphitheatre, Alpharetta

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? this is actually a really funny story, because i thought i wasn’t going to see them at all. i knew they were going to be at music midtown, but with the history there i wasn’t going to go. and then music midtown got cancelled and i remembered joking to everyone i knew about just driving down to florida and seeing them there. and then it was announced they were actually going to do an atlanta show and i was like damn. i'm still probably not going to be able to go but that’s pretty cool. and i remember the day the tickets went on sale, i'm sitting in first period math and i just get the most cryptic text from my mother that just says “merry christmas”. and i'm sitting there, really unable to ask further because it’s math and i can’t be on my phone. so i get into next period and i pull out my phone and i see that she’s sent me a ticket confirmation screenshot. and i was losing my mind so fucking bad i had to go to the bathroom and i started crying right there in the school bathroom.

Did you attend with anyone else? parents

What did you wear? shit i went all out. i was the best dressed bitch there LOL. so many pairs of fishnets.

Where were your seats? seats in like the middle section !

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? SKYLINES AND TURNSTILES

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? Skylines and Bury Me in Black. hearing those was life changing.

What was your favorite moment from the show? when Skylines started and i just started VIOLENTLY sobbing

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? target employee fit was a highlight fs

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? BOYZONE AND HAUNTED CASTLE SHIRT !!!

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? i think i had a religious experience it was unlike anything i’d ever experienced

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? i need to be in the pit i need to be close i need to be able to make eye contact with Gerard

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? i will never hear them the same i will never recover

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? if you want to record, record. if you want to sob your eyes out then do that too. so is everyone else. also don’t feel bad about screaming bc you’re “ruining the person next to you’s video” they don’t care i promise

Thanks, Ryan!

#story #09/18/22 #mcr georgia

[highsky44]

Red Fox (R19 webtoon) BEST YANDERE OF ALL TIME

➤ Webtoon’s name: Red Fox by Hama (12 volumes) ➤ keywords: forbidden love, age gap, obsessive male, revenge, virgin woman, bad guy, love triangle, first love, possessiveness/monopoly, jealousy, immortality, sociopath,love-hate relationship, Incest, heavenly being.  ➤  yandereness: 5 ++ stars ➤ rating: 5 stars

Welcome to Ibana, a beautiful country also known as the red country. Here, lives the red fox, a wily beast who takes on the form of a human and feasts on the livers of humans. For hundreds of years, the fox kills without hesitation until, thanks to one human woman, it comes to know what that human emotion called “love”, truly is. Out of the land of fire, erupts the cruel yet tragic love story of one evil spirit who yearns to possess the heart of one human woman.

Hi Guys!! i hope to you and all your families a Merry Christmas even in this period of time. 

Today i have a special treat for you and it’s another yandere male recommandation, a veryy spicy one! and guess what? it’s a webtoon that has been picked up by Net Comics. It’s already been translated by them and i guess will be published by them, i’m so happy!!!

Spoiler alert!

I discovered this webtoon a while back and at first it didn’t interest me that much mostly because of the art that was quite particular and didn’t inspire me to read it.But i was so wrong!! i’ve tried to read out of boredom and once i started i couldn’t stop reading it and i really wanted to know how it will end for the poor Sana and if she will be able to escape the red fox. 

Let me just say that the Red fox can be one of the best yandere males i’ve ever came across!! He’s literally obsessed with Sana and will kill everyone who will interfere with him. He was introduced as a bad guy, a mindless poweful being who was able to take any form and kill who’s ever he pleases and take their liver. He was discovered by Sana’s mother (Soina) in one of his killings and he was ready to kill her and take her liver as well, but Soina to save herself exchange her baby’s life for hers and the red fox accepted. Well let’s say Soina regretted this later on and tried to save her her baby girl (Sana) and actually she managed to do it but the rex fox taken back from her words of not really being able to experience real “love” get obssessed with Soina’s daughter, Sana.

This is not only the story of Sana and the red fox but there are like a tons of others characters with their point of view and backstory and this certainly helped to get more into the story. As you will read the story you will realize how Sana’s fate is a very tragic one, i don’t know if the Red fox’s love for Sana is true or is just a fixation born from Soina’s love for her daughter. I have this doubts because he did get obsessed with others people as well but i think in some way Sana is a special one and he will not get bored of her and discard her and will never let go of her.

Links: http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/red_fox/  lezhin comics here Net comics here Korean raws: ridibooks

#yandere male #webtoon recommendation #obsessive love #male yandere #twisted #yandere

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Chapter 1- I saw Emma Kissing Santa Claus!

Hi all! If anybody is still there/ I’m caught up in this song. It’s given me the idea for like seven chapter- here is the first. MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎁! The rest will be late, like those gifts that trickle in when the glow of the holidays is getting hazy. We need Christmas cheer to linger after this year, so I’m gonna publish as I write! Enjoy! And share!

They talked about it later, years after their lives had taken off into space in opposite directions, the moment they knew.

Well, the moment he knew.

"Wait, what?" Emma asked, looking up from the hollow she'd found between his arm and chest when the December air found the crevices in the windows and chilled their skin. She'd get goose flesh and he'd run his hands up and down her limbs to warm her, then pull the flannel up and over them, no matter how warm he was from doing all the work near their end. "We kissed? When we were TEENAGERS?"

"Well, I was technically a teenager the first time we slept together too."

"We didn't sleep."

Harry wiggled his eyebrows at her and smirked, "Oh, I know."

"Oh my god, I really don't remember this!" She turned all the Christmas parties she'd attended at his mum's house over in her head. Emma figured she'd been at the annual event every year since she was 15 or 16, the age he says he was when they kissed. She has almost three years on him. Maybe she was 14 at the first one. That one she recalls well, She's pretty she still had braces. Nobody kissed her. If her math is good, it's her last Christmas before moving. "No wonder you were so ballsy last year!" She slapped at his chest and he grabbed her hand and kissed her fingertips.

"Nah, that was more to do with last year. I was just flush and nobody had turned me down in so long I didn't think anybody ever would again."

"I did!" She at least pretended she wasn't captivated.

"You did. At first!" He reminded her and bit her fingertips before sucking them into his mouth. "Made myself irresistible evidently." He wiggled his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes thinking back at his dogged flirting. He'd found multiple reasons to be near her and had found her close enough to the mistletoe and was charming enough that she accepted the kiss he negotiated out of her as inevitable. Negotiated, that was laughable, he laid one on her and it overwhelmed her reason. Emma thought she played it cool enough, though she remembers they held hands for the the 10 minutes after, at least.

She accepted the other things he was offering on the strength of that kiss, and the fact that since he'd slipped his tongue into her mouth so seamlessly, convincingly, all she could think about for the hours intervening was what else his mouth could do.

While she replayed the memory of that first kiss, the one that counted for her, another blurry memory flashed in her mind.

"Oh! Was it underneath the mistletoe, too?"

Harry rolled his eyes, and her beneath him in the same breath. "You were under the mistletoe the second time!"

"I was mistletoe adjacent, at best." She sighed, she meant to jest, but his long lean body pressed along the length of her clouded her mind and convinced her she wasn't tired anymore or too tipsy off champagne.

"The first time, was me under the mistletoe."

"I kissed you?"

"You did." He confirmed with another kiss.

"How'd I kiss you? Like full on?" She was a little mortified she'd kissed little Harry.

Gemma would have killed her. Would still! That was why she and Harry always just flirted at the party and met up at the inn when the wine had everybody off their head. Nobody knew, it was their Christmas surprise. The secret she looked forward to all year.

"Well, you weren't brave enough to slip me the tongue." He stuck his tongue into the corner of his mouth; that was too attractive by half.

"Hmph." Was all Emma could come up to answer with. "Did I say anything?" She smoothed her hands up his back.

His face got dreamy, and he seemed to be reliving something. "Yeah, you told me 'you're getting cute little Styles.' I always hated that nickname, but I felt a little taller that night."

Harry was descriptive, which was funny considering he could be so quiet at times, but he was quick and he knew a lot of words, more than her. He was working on his third language. He would basically narrate while they fucked and it drove her crazy when he'd describe how she looked and felt and what it was doing to him.

"What do you want to ask?" He pressed his nose to the place her collarbones met and she could fill him growing between her legs.

"How'd you know I want to ask something?" He was too observant.

He reached up and pulled the lip she didn't realize was between her teeth free. Ahh.

"Ask." He kissed the lip still imprinted with her teeth marks.

"Tell me about it. Describe it, like you do for me when you're inside me."

He blew out a breath, "Should be easy, I obsessed over it for ages after, before even."

"Before?"

"Yeah, I have had a crush on you since you were 12 and started coming round with Gem." He revealed.

"No, I don't believe it!"

"I loved that you already had your whole life planned out and you were sooo smart and then the next year you had boobs."

"That started out so well." She almost protested, she had boobs at 12!

"I was very impressed by the boobs, you wore this sweater—" she clapped a hand over his mouth.

"No more talking unless it's about that party."

He smiled at her and his eyes went soft at their corners, his dimples were suggestions of a deep feeling. "I think you had this idea, like this was your last Christmas here, in Holmes Chapel—"

She had had that idea. She'd intended to leave for a summer term in Sweden that spring and wasn't sure she'd be coming back. And she'd always loved that party, and Gemma's family. Even Gemma's goofy weird brother who was getting cuter and more confident. "Why do you say that?"

"Dunno," he tilted his head and his mouth flattened out and his eyes went somewhere else, he was looking at her but not the version in front of him. "I think you reminded me of my cousins' when they could first drink. Seemed like you were just throwing caution to the wind, letting it fly. Like you had nothing to lose, cuz this place was about to be a memory."

Emma could only find the energy to stare, she thought she nodded. He was spot on, but she wasn't even sure she could have articulated those feelings then. And she hadn't been that reckless ever before or after that day.

"I'd been watching you, and like I said, had a crush for years, um, and like, you were wearing that shiny top, like liquid silver and your long brown hair was all curled up and your cheeks were red with your merry making and I'd always loved your laugh. You're usually so calculated—"

"That's not a nice word."

"I don't mean it like a bad thing, like maybe a better word would be careful. Like all your moves were preparation for the grand future you were working towards. But when you laugh, it all falls away. Tears leak from the corners of your eyes and you bend at the waist and just lose it. That night you did it a lot." He kissed her knuckles. "Did you notice I was kind of shadowing you that night?"

"Honestly, not really, I was kinda out of it, or maybe really in it instead of 5 years ahead." She always was at least a week ahead in her mind. In the actual moment, she was usually just ticking that day's checklist off to get to the next thing.

"Yeah. I could see it, you were really in your body, and it made me want you more." He laughed. "The only other time I ever see you like that is...ah..."

"Go on!" She jostled his shoulder.

He bit his lip like the imp he was and said, "When we fuck, it's like when you laugh, there's no tomorrow, or next semester, or internship you have lined up, just the next orgasm on the horizon."

She knew she was blushing but she ducked her chin and shrugged. She couldn't deny it. She could feel that when he moved inside her, when they moved together, it was like when she really lost her head and laughed at something. Better, more. Emma definitely did not tell him it was never like that with anybody else.

Not her college boyfriend, or the Danish guys she'd enjoyed over their version of freshers, and certainly not the completely nice guy she'd been dating for two months back in Amsterdam. Not one of them made her get out of her head the way Harry could. They'd be following every direction she gave them from tongue placement to tempo and she'd be observing the feelings as opposed to experiencing them. But even remembering her first kiss with Harry was a sensory experience. She gave him direction because that's who she is, but she's fairly certain even if she didn't, he'd be able to get her off just by watching her.

She wondered if it was the same as her. He was more cerebral than anybody gave him credit for. Maybe if he talked more about the kiss she'd find out.

He caught her chin, "Where'd you go?" He asked with dopey green eyes.

"I'm just trying to remember." Emma lied. "Tell me more, maybe it will come back to me."

"Oh, from my memory of the proof of your breath you may never remember." Emma could feel her cheeks heat. She had really tied one on, she was absolutely rough the next day. Utterly useless.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure I'd ever be here again."

"In Holmes Chapel? Really? You thought you'd never come back?"

"I always wanted to leave so bad, I genuinely thought I wouldn't miss it."

"But you did? You do?"

She nodded. She didn't want to explain that the first time she was way more homesick than she expected and this year, well, this year she wanted him for Christmas again.

He gave her this face then and a kiss that made her think he really was a mind reader, his crystal ball in the shape of her body.

"Not everyday." Take that Mr. Intuitive.

He gave her a smile that looked like a wink and started talking, "Like I said, I'd always just found you so impressive and you were always so pretty. But you came back from Amsterdam different."

"It was all the bike riding," she deflected and ran her hands down his arms to his lower back.

"Nah, it wasn't your body. That's always been nice. You just seemed like you were so happy and it was coming out of your pores."

"With the mulled wine?"

"Yeah! Definitely the mulled wine." He kissed her one then pressed his mouth to hers," Might have been your legs."

She snorted, "See it was the biking."

"You also had them out!" He defended. She had worn a daring skirt. "And maybe the biking." He laughed with her. "You also did that snort laugh I'd only heard through the walls during sleep overs and I was kinda tracking you."

"Stalker." He made a face. "Sorry probably not a joke to you." They didn't really talk about the peculiarities of his job. He was just Hometown Harry to her. Gemma's little brother. Her Christmas gift wrapped in deliciousness the last two years.

"I didn't really mean to, honestly. Was just like water to it's path."

"That's poetic." She teased.

"Hey, I'm a songwriter."

"I'd like to see evidence of that." Emma raised an eyebrow.

"You will." She wanted to ask but he just kept going. "Wanna know the funny thing? I never really had to look hard to find you." He went on. "You always seemed to be in the corners of my eye, like a dream I was trying to remember.

"I kind of remember that." She rolled her eyes and summoned some courage, "You looked different, and I tried to ignore it, but the more wine I had, the more I found myself comparing you to the boy I remembered from two years before."

"Hadn't been that long. I was with Gem when she told you goodbye."

She cringed. "I don't think I really looked at you that day."

"Oof, good thing I have crowds of people to stroke the old ego." At least the laugh seemed genuine though his eyes were a little dull.

"I was really remembering you in your red jumper from two parties before."

"Tell me about that party- we got off track talking about the last one." Last year she remembered In technicolor.

"Where were you the year after?"

"Studying, of course."

"Yeah makes sense." He pinched his lip, then bit hers.

"I remember thinking your jumper suited you so well and—"

"Matched your eyes."

"Yeah." She could feel the wonder of his eyes.

"But by midnight I saw that guy Spencer with his arm around your waist. Went to get a drink and was sulking with my own wine when you passed me. You had this look."

"Drunk?"

"Mischievous." He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip, "And then you pointed to the mistletoe."

"And said, 'caught you.'"

"You do remember!" He accused with a still annoyingly attractive chicken neck.

"I didn't, but I'm having a sense memory now." She widened her hips so he fit in like a piece of ikea hardware.

"Care to relive it?" He was trying to sound nonchalant, but she could see the hopeful blush.

She answered him by fitting her lips between his perfect ones and giving a lighter pressure than she had for two Christmases, waiting for his direction of how her bold move had turned out. He moaned and she sucked just a bit like she suddenly recalled. She really thought that was a wine fueled daydream, she swears. And then her mouth opened on a gasp and she slid her tongue against his and licked into his mouth before sliding her nose to the other side of his. The kiss depended until it was all over them and they would have wound up naked if they hadn't been already.

"This is different."

"We can re-enact it a little bit more faithfully later. It can be your Christmas present." Emma whispered between kisses.

"Nah." He was actually blushing, all the way down. "You're my gift."

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #tis the damn season #chapter 1 #i saw Emma kissing Santa Claus #christmas fic #that nobody asked for

[shra-vasti]

Second life

Pairing : Lee Seokmin x reader

Type : Soulmate au, reincarnation au, idol au.

Genre : angst, fluff

Warning : mention of death in previous life.

Word count : 2-3k approx

Soulmate au type : In which when you make eye contact with your soulmate, the world stops and you get to witness the most memorable event of their previous life.

A sigh left your mouth forming a patternless cloud, wearily telling you the arrival of the season of chirstmas. Your gaze was on the streetlights that shined oh so brightly and the ground covered with thin layer of snow. You could see people walking to their respective destinations as they piled themselves with additive layers of clothings. They seemed to enjoy themselves unlike you.

You, who was sitting on your bumped out window seat with your favourite novel in your one hand, the other holding a warm cup of coffee which is already half empty and a soft blanket splayed on your legs although the heater is on. The winter's chillness still somehow ran through your body, you always failed to cope up with winter dispite it being your favorite season. But here you were in your maternal grandmom's house in Korea feeling loneliest you have ever felt.

Winter was your favorite season mainly because of chirstmas and the joyous atmosphere the occasion created. You loved chirstmas, you always look forward to it because you get to roam around the world during this time. Every year you celebrate Christmas in some new country, it started with your parents taking you to vacations for the grand holiday and ended up with you still carrying on the tradition of celebrating Christmas every year in a new country, a tradition long forgotten by your parents because of their work.

This time it was different, although you never celebrated your Christmas in Korea you came here this time mainly because your parents wanted you to spend some time with your grandparents and also to distract you from your thoughts for a while. Thoughts of never being able to find your soulmate. It haunted you because you didn't have any soulmark on your body, neither you had counter nor any sign of their name or you stopped aging. It pained you, watching your friends getting their soulmate mark and some of them already finding them.

You envied them, they had something which you failed to have. Your eye color didn't change and your vision was still the same and the thoughts of not having a soulmate and living your life alone made your heart ache. It wasn't that you hated the idea of being alone but just like others you wanted to feel loved by your significant other. But you didn't have a soulmark and it terrified you.

As time passed the thoughts made you more sad and the fact that majority of your friends were now with their soulmate enjoying their first chirstmas or second one together made you feel vulnerable. This was the first time you weren't smiling or feeling the hype of chirstmas you always felt. Your sadness didn't get unnoticed by your parents who were also soulmates, they understand where you were coming from so they insisted you to spend your chirstmas with your grandparents instead.

You sighed to yourself deciding it was the best if you have a walk outside in the street to keep your mind from wondering. You changed up you clothes into some more warm clothing and head down to inform your grandma that you'll head out for a while. As soon as your feet landed outside the door the chillness of the surrounding, although mild, hit your face making you put your hand in your coat pocket and ultimately taunting you to go back inside the comfort of your room.

Your feet started moving, the destination still unknown but it wasn't like you were supposed to be anywhere right now. Your head was down, cheeks red and hair moving in the most imperfect way forcing your hand to come out of your coat pocket and tuck them behind.

Your steps started slowing down and you look up taking in your surrounding. There were many open shops, selling all of the things required to make your chirstmas merry. So many children with their parents enthusiastically shopping for the holiday, there were food stalls making your stomach grumble but that wasn't the thing to be concerned about at the moment considering you have never being to this place.

You took in your surroundings and turn your head in different direction to see if you remember at least one way out and anxiety started creeping inside you when you realize you were lost.

Panicking you threw your gaze across the street to find at least a bus station only for you to stop when your eyes locked with a stranger who wore a mask which was lowered till his chin, hands cladded in his jeans and a jacket as his honey eyes stared back at you. You felt as if your heart would burst and before you could do anything your vision blurred and everything stopped.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"Yah Dokyeom where are you taking me?" you heard a voice followed by a loud giggle, you positioned yourself in such a way that you could at least get a glimpse of the owner of the voices.

Your vision steadied and confusion crept inside you when you realized you weren't in the place you were a few minutes ago. You look around to see you have been to some sort of lounge? You quickly hide yourself behind the decorative bush when you heard some noises coming in your direction.

"Just a little bit more." the guy whom you assume was Dokyeom replied.

You squit your eyes to have a better look as he opened the blind fold to the person in front of him. Your eyes widened as you looked at the person accompanying Dokyeom, who looked exactly like you.

You got to have a better look at Dokyeom to realize that he was the same guy with whom you have locked eyes before getting transferred to this place and then it clicked you. You have heard about the stories about meeting your soulmate and being able to experience an event of their previous life. Maybe that guy across the street was your soulmate and here you were witnessing one of the most memorable event of his life.

That wasn't much of a shock to you but the fact that you were also soulmates in your past life made your heart warm and full of love. You shook your head as you tried to think about this soulmate bond more, are you invisible in front of them or they were able to see you were some question dancing across you mind.

A sudden blasting of Balloon scared you and you lost your balance making a loud noise panicking you look towards your past self and dokyeom to see if they noticed but they didn't confirming that they can't see you.

A smile plastered across your face as you made your way towards them to witness the event closely.

"Happy 5 year anniversary." Dokyeom said as he tucked your past self's hair behind the ear and kissed the forehead.

"Happy 5 hear anniversary to you too but you didn't have to do something so extravagant." you found yourself saying as you hugged him tightly.

He shook his head at that taking your hand and leading you towards the dinner table to cut the cake.

You felt yourself smiling as you witnessed everything. The way both of you looked at each other full of love, the way you both shared you smiles whenever you made an eye contact made you realize that you weren't meant to be lonely, that you have been blessed with this amazing person even in your past life and you bet he was as sweet as he was before in his current life too.

The celebration was over, but Dokyeom looked a bit too nervous as you saw him get on one knee when you were not looking towards him and you heard yourself gasped as you finally noticed him. A big smile mixed with nervousness and eyes filled with adoration on his face as he pulled a velvet box out asking if you would like to have a forever with him. You could feel your eyes tear as he put the ring on your left finger, you witnessed everything and you were more than overwhelmed that you were present in his past life's most memorable event.

You shook your head for spacing out like that and made a run towards where you and him were heading. You didn't know when the event will head so that you would be back in your present timezone so you decided to follow them till to are transferred back in your present.

You sat at the back of car witnessing your past self flirting and chatting happily. The car stopped at the green signal and you fiddled with your hands thinking as to why you were still in this time zone. Were you stuck?

A loud screaming could be heard followed by a loud crashing sound making the car flip for a couple of time before finally coming into a halt.

"Babe?" you checked yourself to see you were alright and weren't hurt but when you looked towards Dokyeom and yourself you were sure your past self has stopped breathing.

"Yah wake up, babe?" there was so much blood on your face and on his hands as he tried to slap your face lightly a few time but when you didn't he broke down. You felt your heart break and you look towards his vulnerable state. You guys were engaged before you died.

After a couple of minutes the cries completely stopped, you made your way outside of the car and opened the car door of the driver's side shaking Dokyeom as much as you could but he wasn't alive you conclude, even if he was he wouldn't have been able to hear you anyway.

You got up as sirens started blasting and ran away from the car only for it to blast and create a giant explosion and your vision blurred once again.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

You gasped because of the suddenness of everything and you fell on your knees trying to make your breathing normal. A pair of shoes stopped right in front of you as you look up.

"You alright?" he asked asked as he kneeled in front of you taking your face in both of his hands and scanning your face in concern.

"Dokyeom?" you whispered to which he chuckled shaking his head.

"Dokyeom it is, but I would prefer if you call me Seokmin that's my real name." he said as he raise his eyebrows silently asking you for your name. You told him your name after that clutching on his jacket tightly as if he was going to disappear.

"Did you see the same glimpse as I did of....of us dying?" you questioned with him nodding his head vigorously at that. You chuckled at his antics and hugged him tightly.

He returned the hug with as much passion voluntarily hiding his face inside the mask once he realized he was on the street full of people. You threw a confused gaze at him for wearing his mask as he pulled you up and lead you towards a more scheduled area where there were less people.

"You see I'm a member of Seventeen, a kpop boy group and people here might recognize me therefore I put on my mask." he explained.

"It's okay. Might as well get into some new music from now on." you laughed as he hugged you again, inhaling your scent.

"You know I was so scared that I didn't have any soulmate casue majority of my members had some or the other soulmark except for me and I was terrified thinking I would never meet you." he confessed.

"I used to cry myself to sleep thinking the same but not now. Now I know that you are here, you were always here and I'm so glad to have met you once again in this life." you sighed.

You met him and suddenly you knew which was the best chirstmas of your life. You were glad that your parents sent you here, you were glad you decided to take a walk, you were glad you were lost. This is how destiny works. It works magic you thought smiling to yourself.

"It's getting late I should head home now, my grandparents must be worrying." you told him pouting.

"I'll drop you home." he said as he intertwined your hands with his. You nodded at him as you told him your address and started walking with him.

You were glad that you had him. He was yours and he was perfect. Whatever insecurities you had completely vanished as you walked with him. It was fate that brought you two together and you were thankful for that.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"Even if a second life that’s different from now comes to me, the one thing I can say is that I’m going to be by your side. On a sudden day when I’m left alone I’ll take my steps towards you again."

#seventeen fics #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenario #seventeen fic #seventeen au #seventeen blurb #seventeen dk au #seventeen drabble #seventeen imagine #seventeen joshua au #seventeen series #seventeen x reader #seventeen x reader au #seventeen #lee seokmin imagines #lee seokmin smut #seokmin #lee seokmin angst #lee seokmin au #lee seokmin scenario #Soulmate au #Soulmate dk #Soulmate imagine

[neurodivergentnecessity]

The big brother AU was made by @petrichormeraki and Djali was made by @siren07tucker

Ok so last time I showed you guys what I thought Grumbot, Juni, and Tizzy would look over time. In that post I mentioned that I was in the process of drawing and writing the rest of the kids and because it's almost Christmas for me I decided to post this so let's get going with Djali! Merry Christmas

Djali as we all know had a very rocky childhood because they lived on a server where mob hybrids were heavily discriminated against. It left them living on the streets fending for themselves and constantly being beaten and abused by others. That changed when Doc and Xisuma were visiting the server, the two immediately adopted Djali as their own and took them to Hermitcraft. Doc mostly took care of Djali; he helped them learn how to defend themselves properly and to respect The G.O.A.T. Djali was overall closer to him. Every once and a while they would visit Xisuma and during that time showed an interest in coding and being an Admin. So Xisuma taught Djali how to code and he also gave them free therapy sessions to go with. As they became older they started becoming more comfortable with people around them. They even started making some friends, some of them being Grumbot and Juni due to being closer in age, and they became best friends with Aislin despite their age difference. Also due to him hanging out with Aislin a lot they’ve also become close to his sisters, although not super close. As a young adult Djali is a well known activist for the mob hybrids equality movement. They are also an Admin of a server that accommodates, helps, and shields mob hybrids. They are still close to Aislin despite the complications with living on two different servers, often sending letters to each other asking how the other is.

Next up is Aslin he was born after an incident regarding a magical potion and some Vex intervention. After some panicking on Bdubs’ part he decided to keep Aslin a secret for a bit until he was caught after coming clean Bdubs decided to still keep it a secret that Scar was the other parent. Unfortunately Scar caught on and after some shenanigans the two ended up together and raising Aislin. As a toddler Aslin became very interested in almost everything, especially plants, whenever he saw one he would become very quiet and simply look at it. His fascination with plants didn’t stop there; he had an odd habit of talking to them the weirdest thing, the plants seemed to be listening and responding to him. It unnerved Bdubs a bit until Scar explained that it was normal for a young magic user to communicate with specific items, in Aslin’s case plants. He also loved whether unintentional or not was annoying his older sisters. It was hilarious to him when they would let out an annoyed scream at his antics. As a child he calmed down a bit and wasn’t as obsessed with plants as before, he also annoyed his sisters a bit less mostly because he had become best friends with Djali and spent a lot of time playing with them. Unfortunately for him his sisters decided to take advantage of Aislin stopping annoying them and decided to get some revenge. So whenever Aislin would be hanging out with Djali they would strike butting into the conversation, stealing something of his, and generally being annoying, this would always cause Aislin to stomp off and tell on them. As a teenager nobody knows what happened to Aislin including himself. Djali also unfortunately left to become the Admin for a new server they had created, the two stayed in touch though. Also during this time he became obsessed with the band Swords N’ Arrows. He loved how cool they were as well as their music and style. Soon as if a switch was flipped inside of him and he adopted Swords N’ Arrows’ “cool” look and attitude, his sisters found his transformation hilarious. Once a young adult Aislin’s personality seemingly did a full 180 and changed from his old “emo” one, and to quote him “No, I don’t want to talk about it... Atalanta put the photo down. No! Come back! They don’t need to see it!” He’s also been practicing his plant magic and is getting pretty good at controlling it. He's had no incidents in 5 “oops” 0 days. Also with the ability to travel he’s been able to visit Djali every so often which is fun for the both of them.

Now next is the twins which, quick disclaimer up until teen hood their stories will be very similar because up until then they were basically attached at the hip, so yeah. Let’s start with Atalanta after Scar accidentally cut himself on two of his magical crystals Atalanta and her sister were born several weeks later. Scar decided to take some time off from being the mayor to get a handle on being a parent, that is until he was informed of a very important meeting that he couldn’t skip so with not many options Scar decided to bring his daughters to the meeting. Nothing got done and it would have been better if he had not come. Many people were very surprised to find out that Scar was a papa and even more surprised to see how competent he was with caring for them seeing as he wasn’t the best at caring for himself. As a toddler Atalanta was fairly social and enjoyed taking to others, but she could be a bit shy at times. She and her sister loved playing with others one of their favorite people to play with was Tizzy and she liked playing with them as well. Also during this time they got a brother, Aislin after Scar and Bdubs started dating. The two loved him and would try to play with them despite not fully understanding that he was a baby and couldn’t really do much. Childhood was exciting for multiple reasons, one of them being that she and her sister got to be the flower girls at Scar and Bdub’s wedding. They were also excited to keep Aislin permanently. Of course that excitement quickly turned into annoyance when he discovered that he loved pestering and annoying his sisters. Atalanta still loved him but could he be just a little more quiet. She also started tapping into her stamina ability and relished in the fact that she could beat anyone in a race just by using it slightly. In her teen years she became a bit rebellious one of her acts of rebellion included getting a nose ring. Which backfired slightly due to Scar saying he was happy that she was starting to express herself. She also started spending less time with her sister which wasn’t a bad thing they just had different interests. Of course they weren’t completely separate; they had decided to take their revenge on Aslin for annoying him for so long by interrupting his play time with his friend, Djali, who Fortuna seemed to enjoy being around. As a young adult she got to witness Aislin transform himself into a emo wreck which she found absolutely hilarious and took as many pictures as possible to later use to embarrass him. She also added to the nose ring she got as a teenager with a piercing to her bottom lip and some on her upper ears. She also found her papa’s old jacket and totally didn’t steal and cut it to make a cropped jacket. Once she was old enough to join MCC she absolutely did and started a bit of rivalry with Tizzy. It wasn’t that intense due to Tizzy being better at hand to hand situations then her and Atalanta being better at speed and agility situations then Tizzy.

Last but certainly not least is Fortuna after Scar accidentally cut himself on two of his magical crystals Fortuna and her sister were born several weeks later. Scar decided to take some time off from being the mayor to get a handle on being a parent, that is until he was informed of a very important meeting that he couldn’t skip so with not many options Scar decided to bring his daughters to the meeting. Many people were very surprised to find out that Scar was a papa and even more surprised to see how competent he was with caring for them seeing as he wasn’t the best at caring for himself. Fortuna was a bit more reserved than her sister but she still enjoyed talking to others. She and her sister loved playing with others one of their favorite people to play with was Tizzy and she liked playing with them as well. Also during this time they got a brother, Aislin after Papa and Bdubs started dating. The two loved him and would try to play with him despite not fully understanding that he was a baby and couldn’t really do much. Childhood was exciting for multiple reasons, one of them being that she and her sister got to be the flower girls at Papa and Bdub’s wedding. They were also excited to keep Aislin permanently. Of course that excitement quickly turned into annoyance when he discovered that he loved pestering and annoying his sisters. She would still play with him though. As a teenager Fortuna loved whenever Aislin would hang out with Djali for two reasons one that meant that she and her sister could go over there and annoy Aislin the other was she developed a huge crush on Djali and loved being around them. Besides annoying Aislin the sisters didn’t really hang out a lot, but she did accompany her sister when she got her nose ring, there was a lot of... no crying. During this time she also started experimenting with her luck ability trying to figure out if she could direct it towards anyone, during her experiments she noticed that her luck ability was directly linked to her mood, good mood good luck, bad mood bad luck. As a young adult Fortuna started experimenting with the relationship with magic and science. In her studies she’s discovered that though magic to others is just science they have yet to understand it’s actually it’s own individual thing. Magic as she has found it has a sort of sentience to it that can be channeled through different beings, some beings are bound to a certain type of magic while others can expand and grow upon it. She has also increased her own magical abilities and can now sense other peoples magical aura, which has made her studies much easier.

#my art #my artwork #big brother au #atlanta #fortuna #djali #aislin

[mikrokyla]

stay; oikawa tooru

25. “If I leave now, I won’t come back.”

69. “I’ve fallen for you and it’s becoming difficult for me to get anything done.”

masterlist

Oikawa cups his face with his hands, blowing hot air to warm up his cold hands. Oikawa, who’s used to the warm weather in Rio, has forgotten how cold winter is in Japan. A single snowflake falls on the top of his slightly pink nose, making Oikawa shiver.

“I should’ve bought a thicker jacket.” He mutters to himself, putting his hands in his pocket.

The Christmas spirit seems to be bright this year in Japan. Kids playing outside together in the snow. Their parents handing them hot chocolate and hand-warmers. Couples of all ages taking a stroll in the snow together, holding on tightly to one another to keep warm. Oikawa sighs.

What is he even doing in Japan?

After that one day, Oikawa never considered going back to Japan even if it was just for a single day. His teammates and friends in Rio always asked him if he would be going back to Japan for the holidays, but Oikawa would just reply:

“No.”

Yeah. He’s avoiding Japan for the sake of his broken heart. His teammates and friends know that after getting to know Oikawa better, so after that, they never brought up Japan again. It was for the best. Oikawa seemed happier when his mind was set on anything but Japan. So, it was a surprise when Oikawa told them he was going back to Japan for winter break.

“Wait, did I hear that correctly? Did you say ‘Japan’?” His friend asks him, shocked.

Oikawa nods his head. “Yeah.. It’s only for a little bit, so you don’t have to miss me too much.”

“I couldn’t care less about “missing you”, Tooru. I’m just… are you sure you’re going to be okay in Japan?”

“Yeah. I’ll meet up with some old friends and spend a few days with them and then I’ll be on my way back to Rio.”

His friend stares at Oikawa. “Okay.”

There’s a long silence between the two, his friend staring at Oikawa. Oikawa groans. “What are the odds of bumping into her? There’s like, a million people in Japan—there’s no way I’m gonna see her?”

“I mean, would it be a good thing or a bad thing if you bumped into her? You did leave her without saying a proper goodbye, wouldn’t this be a good time to do that?”

Oikawa looks down. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because then I’d want to stay.”

Christmas, 5 years ago.

“You’re going… what? Overseas?! Are you crazy?!”

Oikawa sighs. “Volleyball training, Y/n. I want to be able to experience volleyball outside of Japan.”

“Well how long are you going to be there? The weekend? A month? A year?”

“I… don’t know. I might join a team over there too.” Oikawa replies, looking down.

They stand together in her family’s cafe. Her family in the back, listening quietly as they clean up and finish up closing the cafe. She stares at Oikawa, millions of thoughts going through her head right now.

“That’s all you care about, huh? Volleyball. You’re already so good at it, why do you have to go to the other side of the world to do better? Is it not enough for you?”

Oikawa doesn’t reply.

Y/n scoffs, looking out the window of the cafe. It’s snowing. Families, friends, couples are enjoying themselves outside on this wonderful Christmas night while Y/n is in an argument with her boyfriend.

“When are you leaving?” Y/n looks at Oikawa. Her eyes are glossy from the tears that are about to emerge. “When are you leaving, Tooru?”

Oikawa replies, but he basically whispers so Y/n can’t hear.

“Tooru.”

“Tomorrow.” He looks at Y/n. “I want to spend my last day in Japan with you.”

Slap. Oikawa’s cheek turns pink. Drip. Here comes the tears.

“You fucking asshole.”

Oikawa quickly wipes his tears, looking anywhere but Y/n.

“Do you know how much I love you? I love you so much I’d do anything for you. Even though I have work and exams to study for, I always go to your matches. You don’t know how much I hated you before. You were always flirting with me and I hated it. Why me? I won’t have time to be able to make you happy with my family’s business, with schoolwork.”

Oikawa falls to his knees. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

“You don’t know how much I hated you, Tooru. What could I do though? You always walked me to my classes and spent your spare time with me.” Y/n says. “It was clear that I’ve fallen for you and it was becoming difficult for me to get anything done without you being on my mind.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no point in apologizing. You leave tomorrow. Tomorrow. There’s no point. Just go.”

Oikawa stands up and looks at Y/n. “You want me to go?”

“Do I have a choice?” Y/n replies. “There’s just no point in trying to make you stay. I know how much you love Volleyball, so what’s the point? Just leave, Tooru. Leave already.”

“If I leave now, I won’t be able to come back.”

“Then leave.”

“God, it’s so cold.” Oikawa says, shivering. As he’s walking, he spots a sign.

‘Free Hot Chocolate Only For Today! Have a Merry Christmas!’

He looks up to read the name of the cafe.

‘Our Home.’

“Looks good.” Oikawa says to himself, entering the cafe. There’s not many people inside, just a few couples and kids drinking hot chocolate and eating a cookie or a cake. Oikawa waits in line, observing his surroundings. It’s very cozy. It somehow does feel like home.

“Next.”

Oikawa steps up to the cashier and says, “One hot chocolate please.”

“Okay. Anything else?” The cashier asks.

“Um, no, I’m good.”

“Okay. I’ll have your hot chocolate ready shortly.”

“Thank you.” Oikawa steps to the side waiting for his hot chocolate. He starts warming up his hands again by rubbing his hands together, watching the cashier make his hot chocolate.

“Excuse me, Miss?” Oikawa overhears a lady in line say to one of the other cashiers. “Miss? Can I order?”

“Oh, sir, here’s your hot chocolate.” The cashier Oikawa talked to says, handing him his hot chocolate.

“Oh, thank you. Have a merry Christmas.”

“Thank you. You too.” The cashier replies, smiling at him. As Oikawa turns around though, he hears the cashier say, “Y/n, what are you doing? Someone’s tryna order something.”

Oikawa stops. He almost spills his hot chocolate to be honest. “Y-Y/n?” Oikawa whispers. He immediately turns around and looks straight at Y/n. His eyes widen and his cheeks warm up.

How did he not see her right there the whole time?

“Can.. Can you cover for me for a bit? I’ll pay you extra, I have to do something.” Y/n says to her coworker. She walks over to Oikawa and grabs his hand, bringing him over to one of the tables in the corner.

Oikawa sips his hot chocolate quietly, glancing at Y/n from time to time. “This is good hot chocolate.” He says, breaking the silence.

Y/n sighs. “What are you doing here?”

“Here? Honestly, I was really cold and I saw the sign outside and came in here. I did not know you were working here.” Oikawa replies.

She rolls her eyes. “I’m talking about Japan. What are you doing here in Japan?”

“Oh. I just wanted to go back for a bit..”

“Oh. How’s Rio?”

“Good. Do you own this place?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. It’s cool.”

They both sigh at the same time. Oikawa really ended up seeing her. Out of all the days he was in Japan, it just had to be today.

“What are you doing this Christmas? Are you hanging out with Iwaizumi?”

“No. I met up with him yesterday. I’m leaving tomorrow, so I just wanted to spend time alone.”

“Oh. Tomorrow.”

Oikawa gazes at Y/n. His eyes soften and it feels like his heart softens too. If he just kept walking, maybe he would’ve gone back to Rio with no problem—but he didn’t. So what is he gonna do now?

“Do you wanna spend Christmas with me? I’m not really doing anything either. My family went to visit my grandparents this Christmas and I unfortunately had work so…”

“I..” Oikawa hesitates. Y/n looks at Oikawa and her eyes are basically begging him to stay, but… “I shouldn’t.”

Y/n lifts her hand up and reaches for Oikawa’s hand. Y/n gasps when she feels how cold his hand is. “Why?” She asks.

They look into each other’s eyes, both finally realizing how much they missed one another. Oikawa sighs, he places his elbows on the table and leans in, looking down at the table. Their faces are so close together it’s making his heart beat faster than the one time he almost lost a volleyball match.

“If I stay, I won’t be able to leave.” He whispers, looking at her again.

She places her hand on Oikawa’s cheek, still cold from the snow. She leans in and softly kisses him.

“Then stay.”

end. 1,532 words.

masterlist

#haikyuu #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa x reader #oikawa scenarios #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru #oikawa fic #oikawa oneshot #haikyuu!! #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu imagines #oikawa angst

[lovely-yandere-imagines]

Uhhh how about just general headcanons for any character(s) of your choosing

Hello, lovelies! Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you! So as a little bit of a gift to you guys I figured that I would do Christmas Headcanons for the Jojos in parts 1 through 5! I really hope you all like it and I wanted to say thank you all for supporting me these past two or so weeks that I’ve been doing these headcanons. I wouldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams that so many people would like my writings this much!

(Most of these character have been aged up)

Christmas Headcanons under the cut!!

Jonathan Joestar

All he’s ever wanted is to be a true gentleman ever since he was young and with that came the responsibilities of caring for his partner and making sure they were happy.

Christmas is a very happy and important time for him and his love for the holiday just grew even more once he had you. His childhood was a lonely one so he’s really glad he has you now.

He finally has someone he could give his gifts to and spend time with him other than Speedwagon and as the days got shorter and shorter your love of each other grew more and more by the day.

It didn’t matter if the manor was getting colder by the day you kept each other warm by the fire, with you reading a book as you snuggled up to your gentle giant of a man.

On Christmas morning Jonathan is practically bouncing with excitement forcing you to wake up much earlier than normal and is ushering you down the stairs to open presents.

His gift to you is a silver heart locket with a diamond in the middle and a photograph of the two of you on either side. He’s definitely the sentimental type and would give it two you with the most sincere  ‘I love you’ to follow.

“As soon as I saw it I thought of you, though its beauty doesn’t nearly compare you, my love.”

Joseph Joestar

He normally spends the holidays mostly with his family so having you with him this year is a welcomed change. He can’t wait for you to meet all of them. He never really makes a big deal about Christmas but this year is different

His favorite part of the holiday is getting and giving gifts to his loved ones and eating Christmas dinner, though normally he eats too much and falls into a food coma for a little bit.

He is excited to introduce you to his family and friends though and will show you off as much as he possibly can and then some so expect to be the center of his and everyone else’s attention.

“Granny Erina, Mom (that still sounds weird…) this is Y/n! Aren’t they the cutest?! I mean look at them! Do I know how to pick em? or do I know how to pick em!”

He spends most of the time gushing about how great you are to them and you can hardly get in a word yourself when they ask you questions but can you blame the man, you’re a total dream come true to him.

His family seems to enjoy seeing him so happy that they just accept that he won’t shut up but as soon as its time to open gifts he gets a little quiet, well quiet for him that is.

You can tell he’s a little nervous over giving you your gift but soon enough he swallows it down and presents you with a small ring box. “Y/n, this is literally the scariest thing I’ve ever done but..will be mine for the rest of my life or as long as time allows…”

Jotaro Kujo

He normally tries to avoid his family and mother as much as humanly possible during this time of year but since he’s gotten back from Egypt a lot of things have changed, the biggest thing that changed is that he’s met you.

He normally finds the holiday season to be a major pain in his side but since he found you he’s lightened up a little. If you seem to be particularly excited for Christmas he figures he can make it special just for you.

His presents to you mainly consist of experiences. He likes making memories more than he does buying gifts for people, and if it gets him out of the house and spends time with you it’s a win-win situation to him.

He’ll gladly walk around with you and look at Christmas lights and displays while drinking hot chocolate, he’ll even surprise you and take you ice skating and laugh at you every time you fall on your ass.

Don’t get mad at him though cause he’ll help you up and show you how it’s done, his hands are surprisingly warm compared to the cool surroundings and you can’t help but fall for him more.

Sure he can be the most stubborn ass at times but there’s no doubt in your mind that he loves you even if he shows you in his own little way.

He does want to at least get you something as a thank you for being with him and making him so happy but he’s pretty clueless when it comes to buying gifts so he’ll more than likely take you out shopping after the holiday season starts to end.

“What, you didn’t think I forgot, did you? Come on let’s get you something nice before I change my mind.”

Josuke Higashikata

He absolutely loves Christmas, it’s his favorite time of year and its made even better that he has a cutie like you with him now. 

His favorite part is spending it with others and trying to guess what people got for him. He’s the type to invite all of his friends over and have a small Christmas party with them

He’s actually a pretty good guesser most of the time or sometimes he’ll just take a tiny peek by tearing the wrapping paper and then fixing it with his stand once he’s done snooping.

He’ll definitely be the one to drag you to holiday festivals and just enjoy the festive season with him. He’s the dork that always has mistletoe in his hand and will randomly come up to you and hold it over your head.

He is also fine with just staying inside and playing videogames with you cuddle next to him under a blanket, he uses the excuse of it being cold to get you next to him.

He also really likes to buy gifts for his friends even though more often than not he seems to always end up with one present for him as well, funny how’d that happen?

 He’ll bring out your present towards the end of the night and for some reason, there are holes in the box “Hey Y/n, I got you something really special and I really hope you like it! Oh and don’t shake the box it might scare them”

Once you open it a small puppy pops its head out and is happily licking your face before you can even blink or register what exactly you’re holding but as soon as you lock eyes with it it’s love at first sight.

Giorno Giovanna

He never really had anyone to celebrate the holiday season with till recently so he’s not all too sure what to get anyone, that’s why he’s thankful he has you by his side to help him pick out gifts for everyone.

You’ve been such a good change in his life that he values all of your opinions and ideas that it was only natural for him to take you with him while Christmas shopping.

Once he’s done shopping for everyone else the last person on his list is you and since you two are so close this also makes it easier to get you a gift as well since he’s a little clueless about what to get you.

He’s probably given you thousands of flowers but when it comes to something he thinks you cherish he tends to draw a blank but he can’t help but think to a few months ago.

Funnily enough, the first gift he ever got you when you two started dating was a pair of golden earrings in the shape of infinity hearts. “Because my love for you is never-ending, tesoro”

He had to admit it was a little more cheesy than suave but seeing you blush like you did and light up like a Christmas tree was so beautiful to him that he wanted to see you like that again.

So he finally made up his mind and got you a necklace and bracelet to match the earrings and a ring as well. “Remeber what I told you when I first gave you those earrings amore, well I can tell you that it will never change and my love for you is undying”

#jonathan joestar #jonathan joestar x reader #joseph joestar #Joseph Joestar x reader #jotaro kujo #jotaro kujo x reader #josuke higashikata #josuke higashikata x reader #Giorno Giovanna #Giorno Giovanna x reader #jojo headcanons #christmas headcanon #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #part 1 #phantom blood #part 2 #battle tendency #part 3 #stardust crusaders #part 4 #diamond is unbreakable #part 5 #golden winds #vento aureo #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere jojo

[semper-legens]

141. The Dark Is Rising, by Susan Cooper

Owned?: Yes Page count: 180 My summary: Will Stanton, seventh son of a seventh son, has a secret he doesn’t know. But on his eleventh birthday, he awakens as an Old One, a servant of the Light. Throughout the land, the Dark is rising, and Will has been given a quest. Find the six Signs and unite them, or give in forever to the darkness... My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

The Dark Is Rising! The titular book of this series, the introduction to most of the plot elements that will later recur, as well as the rhyme that serves to foreshadow the whole series. I described Over Sea, Under Stone as something of a pilot - this is the true episode one, where the author definitely has a plan of where it’s going. It’s winter, it’s the 70s, so buckle in for some neopaganism and magic, folks.

First off, this is our introduction to Will Stanton, youngest of the Old Ones. I wish we got to spend a little more time with him when he’s a regular kid - this and later books make a big deal out of him being an Old One with the face of an eleven year old, but we don’t see him so much in kid mode, so there’s not a lot of contrast. I think Will’s a pretty strong protagonist in this, we really see him coming into his powers and struggling with his destiny as the sign-seeker, which I think is really important since it’s not something we see a lot of later, when Will’s a bit more established. Here, he’s just a kid who got himself caught up in magic - he loves his family, he’s protective over them, he doesn’t know quite what he’s doing but he’ll do it anyway. He has all of this knowledge, but not a lot of experience.

Speaking of experience, Merriman’s back in this one too, playing more of a major supporting role in Will’s life than the Drew kids. I like Merriman in general, but he does not come across well looking at just his actions. Most of what he expressly does is working in the shadows to manipulate the mortal world to the ends of the Light, which is really horrible when you consider how many times he endangers the Drew kids, or what happened to his adoptive son who he was totally ready to murder if he needed to. There’s a kind of subtle tragedy to Merriman in this one, doomed with the knowledge of Merlin to know what is to happen before it does, and not being able to stop the bad things. I had a burst of what TvTropes calls fridge horror this time around with the Hawkin stuff - Will and Merry are attending this Christmas party, and there’s no indication that Merry has done this evening before; indeed, it’s stated that if someone had written an account of what happened that night, Will and Merry would be in it doing what we see them do in this scene. But Merry narrates Hawkin’s betrayal as though he knows what’s going to happen - which he does, because he’s seen the Walker in the future. He knows, it’s happening before his eyes, but he’s powerless to stop it even with all his magic, because he knows that it happened. It’s...not necessarily the intended read of that scene, but it’s a valid one and all I’m gonna be thinking about from here on out.

This book also has what is hands-down one of the most chilling and beautiful sequences in books of its type, where Will and Merry go back in time while singing Good King Wenceslas. I can’t quite articulate why I love this scene, but I do. It’s something about music used as a transition between time periods, one age flowing into the next, the song as your anchor. It gives me chills.

I mentioned in the last one that Over Sea, Under Stone is very tonally weird when you consider it next to the rest of the series, and here’s the other half. This book is dark! The stakes are more real, and bad things happen. Poor Hawkin’s life is a misery, and that is shown - not in graphic detail, sure, but there’s enough implication for the adult reader. Will’s sister legitimately could have been killed, along with Will’s mother, and Hawkin does die on-page - though at that point it’s not a bad thing. Welcome to the edgy seventies, apparently.

Lastly, I want to talk about magic. Like, constantly. Magic is great. But also, I want to talk about the magic in this series. This is where we get our first look at the magic of the Old Ones, and I love how there’s never really any exposition about it. We never learn the extent of Will’s powers, or how anything really works, and that adds to the overall mystery of it. I can tell Cooper’s spent some time either in neopagan circles or researching old English magic traditions, because this is steeped in that background. There’s enough told to you that you know what’s going on, but Cooper holds back the nitty-gritty in favour of just giving us a taste of it, and it works so well.

Overall, absolutely excellent holiday read, and a great lead into a series for the person in your life who wants to graduate from the Narnia books. Next up - we go all Wicker Man in Greenwitch!

#The Dark Is Rising #Susan Cooper #bookblr #book blog #book blogging #4

[sabraeal]

Merry & Bright, Chapter 9

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Written for @k-itsmaywriting, who won third place in my 500 follower raffle...two years ago. Listen guys, I have had some REALLY GOOD REASONS for not finishing those yet. Just don’t check.

The thing about being a foster is: everything sucks.

Not that good things don’t happen-- if there’s one thing the system taught him, it’s that life is an endless roller coaster of ups and downs, and you really learn to love the straightaways-- but the scale changes. Other kids would get cars for their birthday, or they’d get to study abroad a semester, but Obi--

Obi had the bedroom catty-corner to bathroom.

For a kid who hadn’t been in a house with less than five kids and more than one full bath for close to a decade, the location had been choice. Prime real estate. The number of mornings he’d lain in wait, never moving from the warm cocoon of his covers until Toddy’s lumbering shuffle scuffled down at the end of the hall, just to dash across and snipe the first shower-- that would be all of them.

But tonight-- god, tonight--

Obi braces his hand against the wall, watching water whirl down the drain. It’s the safest place to look; once glance up and he’ll be contending with the mirror. Not that the mirror is the problem, oh no. It’s what’s in it that’ll make him crack his head on the tile.

His room is catty-corner to the bathroom, which means the second he looks up he sees her.

It’s fine. It’s fine. Doc’s passed out on every bed he’s slept in since he’s known her. There were entire weeks he wasn’t sure she even knew she had her own room in the frat; if they tallied up the nights she spent in her bed versus the ones she spent in his, he suspects his doubts would not be unfounded.

This shouldn’t be any different. It’s just one more place he’s slept, and one more that she’s shared. It’s just Doc, wearing only one of her too-large conference T-shirts, sprawled out on his bed.

And he saw parts of her. Parts he doesn’t usually see. A bare back, a hint of more thigh, the briefest, barest glimpse of a curve of a breast--

He scrubs a hand down his face, stubble rasping against his palm. It shouldn’t be different but it is-- he might be used to her wearing shorts and a tee and baring a mile of leg at home, but seeing it against the unrelenting black of his high school comforter is something else entirely. Like something right out of his weirdest wet dream.

And this isn’t a natural occurrence; an unplanned side effect of her being the size of the Energizer Buddy with a battery life half as long. This is planned. They are choosing to be in bed together. Because he’s too much of a fuck up to have a real girlfriend to bring home, and Doc’s too nice to ruin it for him.

Obi pulls himself upright, dropping his toothbrush back into its holder. He made this bed, and now it’s time to lay in it. Literally.

Doc doesn’t look up when he pads back into the room. Doesn’t jump when he shuts the door behind him. Doesn’t say anything as he wends around the bed, trying to adjust his angle of approach. Just stares up at the ceiling, jaw clenched, brow furrowed.

He flicks off the light, and it’s not until the mattress dips beneath him that he hears her sigh. Not a nice, oh Obi let’s cuddle sigh, but a I’m pissed you haven’t put my clues together, Blue.

“Something wrong?” he ventures, not even bothering to cover himself. If she’s going to kick him out of bed, he’s not going to waste time getting cozy first.

Doc huffs, rolling to face him. “I thought we talked about this.”

He launches himself upright, swinging his legs off the bed. “You’re right. I’ll go find Gayle. I’m sure she can scrounge up another--”

“No!” Her fingers band around his bicep, gentling guiding him back down. She squiggles closer when he’s settled, knees poking into his thigh. “I didn’t mean any of, um, this. I meant with Ryuu.”

He stares at her, blank.

“You know what it’s like when you don’t feel the same as everyone else.” Her hand unlatches, palm running soothingly over his arm. “We don’t know what he likes yet.”

He thinks about the poor kid, about the number for cute skater girls-- and skater boys-- who have bounced right off the impenetrable shell of his hyperfocus. “He probably doesn’t even know what he likes yet.”

“Exactly.” Her knees knock against him, excited. “And we need to leave space for whatever he finds. We need to do better for him than what was done for us.”

He hums, stilling her hand with his. “We are, Doc.”

“Then you shouldn’t tease him about girls when--”

“Doc.” He has to bite his cheek not to laugh. “I know this isn’t really what you’re used to when it comes to the high school experience but--” he can’t help himself, he grins-- “he was not talking about a girl very loudly.”

Her chin drops, right against his arm. “Oh. Oh. Are you--?”

“Please,” he drawls, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “I’m a connoisseur of not talking about girls and boys. And that...that was not talking about a girl.”

“Huh.” Her head rolls back along his arm, hair tickling his elbow. “Who do you think it is?”

“Oh, now who’s not giving him space?” He squeezes her close, playful. “What happened to waiting until he was ready to talk to us?”

“I’m not asking him.” Her nose nuzzles into his side. “I’m asking you.”

Obi presses a had to his chest, affronted. “You’re asking me to betray a confidence? I’m shocked, utterly shocked.”

“No, I didn’t mean--”

He squeezes her again, letting her words fizzle out before he says, “I’d tell you if I knew, Doc, but I don’t. We’ll just have to pump Kirito for all the juicy goss when we get back.”

“No, no, we don’t need to do that,” she says. “I’ll just text Shidan--”

“Oh, come on,” Obi laughs. “Aren’t you the one who always thinks information is better given than taken or whatever?”

Doc whines, squirming against him in a way that makes him think less about Ryuu’s situation and more about his own. “I just want to know if she’s nice or if she’ll hurt his feelings, or--”

He holds up his hand, stoppering up the flood of anxiety. “Leave it. A boy his age needs some secrets.”

Her eyes shine up at him in the dark, and feels rather than sees her lips cant against his shoulder. “Oh? And what sort of secrets do you have at fifteen?”

Obi stiffens. Not just a quick flinch; oh no, he’s got to full on embarrass himself with a full-body tetanus, teeth gritting down with a clack.

I was fourteen and it was more than kissing.

Doc’s head jolts up, eyes wide. “Oh! Obi, I’m so-- I didn’t even think--”

“It’s fine,” he lies. “I don’t think Ryuu will have any of those.”

He’s made sure he hasn’t. There wasn’t any Orphan Club to look out for him when he was a kid, but Obi will be damned if Ryuu goes through any of the stuff he had to. Sure, he’s not a foster, and yeah, his parents are technically alive, even if they communicate with him solely through his bank balance but still-- that’s not parenting. If he can’t count the number of times they’ve called Shidan to make sure he isn’t some child-murdering pedophile, it’s because it’s impossible to count lower than zero.

Silence stretches over them, thick and itchy as wool blanket. This is the worst part of having a tragic childhood. Sure, all the shit that happened to him as a kid was, well, shitty, but it’s in the past, something he can stuff in his mental closet-- even if that psych in Wistal frowned when he mentioned it-- and forget about until it surfaces uncontrollably at the worst fucking time. But this, this--

It’s worse. Having people who love him and respect him suddenly pull away like he’s made of glass, like he’ll break if they so much as breathe on him-- it sucks. Whoever wrote fear is the mind killer never had a sucky enough childhood to cause an awkward silence, and it showed.

Obi nearly jumps out of his skin when an arm slaps across him, followed by at least half of Doc’s body weight. A leg hooks around his, tugging her flush against his side.

“I know.” The words are muffled by his chest. “He has us.”

The quiet takes on a different texture now. It’s not the sound of not knowing what to say, but of nothing more needing saying; the subtle satisfaction of knowing and being know in return. It’s comfortable, warm, like the way her body relaxes into his, the safest space he’s ever known.

Obi’s nearly asleep when she tenses, when she asks, “What happened to Shannon?”

It was a mistake to leave her alone with Kelly Ann. His mind is a steel trap, but the timeline of his sexual history was what Yuzuri would deem a hot mess. Most of it wasn’t performed fully sober either. But Kelly Ann...

Kelly Ann never forgets a single fuck up. Probably takes them out and shines them every once and a while with a smile on her face.

His brain races through his list of high school flings but comes up short. “Shannon?”

“Her picture is up on the mantle,” she murmurs softly, almost shy. “Laila said she was an-- an angel.”

His heart plummets into his stomach. File this under ‘things he should have explained before they left.’ “Oh, Shannon.”

It’s an effort to lie still, to just breathe. “She’s Bob and Gayle’s daughter.”

“I got that.” Doc nuzzles her head into his shoulder, kneading at his pecs like they’re particularly stubborn pillows. “She died.”

His breath sighs out of him. “Yeah, a long time ago. Before either of us were born.”

That’s not enough information, not to survive Christmas, but he can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t his story to tell. He’s a few years and a heap of paperwork short on being enough of one of them to talk about it. Still, short of just telling Doc to ask around, he’s the only one who can.

“She had...I don’t know, some lung disease.” He’d shrug his shoulders if she wasn’t using them as a pillow. He settles for squeezing her instead, enjoying the steady tap of her heart against his ribs. “No one really talks about it, but I guess it was long and slow. She was a teenager when she died.”

Doc lays silent for a long moment. “There wasn’t anything...?”

“It was the eighties,” he explains, “and from what I’ve picked up, the life expectancy today isn’t much brighter. Like...twenties or something.”

“Gosh, that’s...awful.” Her nails scrape over his chest, tucking into her palm. “But she was their-- there weren’t any, um....?

“She was born with it.” He can’t imagine that, knowing from the start there was nothing to do but wait, that you’d have only a handful of years before they’d be gone. “They said it’d be a miracle if she lived to see twenty. Gayle gave up her job to take care of her, you know, doing the medical stuff she needed to stay alive. They just...wanted as much time with her as they could get, and any other kid born into that, well...”

“It wouldn’t be fair,” she says, pained. “How could you explain to another child that you weren’t playing favorites, but that their sister was going to--” she shakes her head, and something wet settles on his skin-- “I get it.”

He wishes there was an easy way to make things better, a way to wrap this whole awkward shit sundae up with a bow or whatever, but...there isn’t. There’s no heartwarming but she’s the reason they saved me, because he up and bolted before they could. He’s got a big fucker of a scar across his chest to prove that all their goodness never changed him, at least not enough to matter.

“What about Lori?” Doc asks, because tonight’s the night for picking at scabs, it seems. “Laila called her an angel too.”

“That was their first foster.” He only barely knows this story, told to him by Kelly Ann almost a decade ago in the hushest of tones, and only to inform him how bad he fucked up. “She was Shannon’s roommate I guess, toward the, um...end. Mom died of some cancer and she became a ward of the state, and Bob and Gayle...”

“Did what they did best,” she offers, so sincere it hurts.

“Yeah.” His throat aches. “That.”

Her fingers slip between his. He thinks she might say something, might ask for more history he hardly knows and doesn’t own, but instead she squeezes his hand, stilling against him, breath easing into a lull.

“Goodnight, Obi,” she murmurs, sleep thick in her voice.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Goodnight.”

It’s not the first time Shirayuki’s awoken with a shiver, a warm breath tickling her neck and something far lower poking into her back. But it is the first time since-- since that night, and what had seemed so innocent, just a healthy reaction to sleep and proximity to a warm body, feels very different now.

His mouth lays slack against her skin, breath puffing hotly across the sensitive hairs of her nape. The heat there is only rivaled by the one trembling beneath the palm on her belly, a slow roil that sets her blood to a tantalizing simmer. They hadn’t fallen asleep like this-- she’s been so careful to arrange herself so she’d do little move than roll into the levee of his chest-- but somehow she’s the little spoon again, and, by the feel of it, someone’s ready to fork.

He grunts, hips shifting and hand tucking her close. What had been a mere hint through dress slacks in a hallway is now-- haah-- a full investigation against her back. And it’s, ah, definitely not a small one. Many, many lines of inquiry.

Shirayuki groans, burying her face in the pillow. It’s her. She’s the one ready to fork. And Obi’s just--

“I hope we’re all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning.” Gayle sweeps into the room, ruthlessly flicking on the light. “Got a whole lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in.”

Obi jolts, the whole length of his erection pressing hard against her ass, she-- she yelps. Just a little.

“Five more minutes,” he groans, hand flexing against her stomach, fingers brushing down to where her T-shirt has ridden up and--

And he stills, like he’s been caught snatching snickerdoodles off the tray.

“None of that business, mister.” Gayle bustles in, pulling on one of his shades until it snaps up, perfectly hung in the window. “If I let you alone now, all I’ll get is the same trouble when I come back.”

“R-really.” He’s definitely more awake, but his voice cracks. “Just-- a minute. I’ll, um, get right up.”

He wriggles behind her, like he can’t decide whether it’s safer to edge away or hide in her, and she realizes-- he’s hard. He’s hard, and his mom is right there, squinting down at him like she’s trying to pick the lock on his diary.

Shirayuki reaches back, palm resting on his hip, and he stills. “Don’t worry, Gayle,” she chirps brightly, “I know how to get him up.”

Gayle turns to her, eyes wide, and Obi’s forehead bonks into her shoulder. “Oh, honey,” she says, grin lighting up her face. “I just bet you do.”

Obi honks like a dying goose into her shoulder blade. “She didn’t mean--”

“Breakfast should be up in fifteen minutes.” Gayle approaches the hall with a buoyant step. “I won’t send up a search party if you’re late.”

With a wink, she shuts the door firmly. Obi flops onto his back with a groan.

“What?” She blinks. “Do you really need five more minutes?”

His head rolls toward her, eyes fixed on her with a sullen glare. “You know how to get me up, huh?”

“Wh--oh,” she yelps, clapping her hands over her mouth. “I didn’t-- you don’t think she--?”

“Oh, she definitely did.” He rolls over, face-first into his pillow.

Shirayuki blinks. “Aren’t you going to get up?”

“Uh-uh,” he murmurs, hugging his pillow tight. “If she thinks we’re having the world’s best good morning, I have at least twenty minutes to spare.”

“Come on now, keep up,” Gayle chides, hounding their heels into Harris Teeter the way corgis do to toddlers. “We’ve got a late start--” she eyes them both with an expression that couldn’t be mistaken for anything but smug-- “but I think we can still come out on top.”

“It’s six am,” Shirayuki murmurs, leaning into Obi. “Does she know it’s six am?”

“Oh, she definitely does,” he confirms with the tiredest dog-eyed look he can muster this early. “We’re running on Christmas Time.”

Her jaw hangs slack, turning into a yawn. “Christmas time?”

“We need to make cookies,” Gayle informs her, abandoning the carriage for a deep dive into the sprinkle section.

“Oh.” Shirayuki stares after her, lost. “I didn’t realize this was serious.”

“Cookies are very serious business,” Obi confirms, heaving a sigh as Gayle holds two frosting tins up to the light. “I don’t know who she thinks she’s fooling. She’s just going to make her own. Here--” he reaches in front of her, hooking his hand around the flashy red handle-- “let me grab the buggy--”

“The what?”

He blinks, eyes as clear as amber. “The cart?”

“That’s not what you said,” she insists. “You said-- what did you call it--?”

“Same difference.”

“It is not.”

“It’s a regional thing.” He shrugs, shoulders hovering up around his ears. He’s not an blusher, but she could swear she sees some pink lingering at the tips of his ears. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I wouldn’t,” she informs him primly. “Except we’ve been going to the store for years now, and I’ve never heard you say that word in your life--”

An unbelievable amount of sprinkles clatters into the cart. “Well,” Gayle says, mouth wide. “That should be enough for the cookies.”

Obi frowns, picking up a thirty ounce jar of nonpareils. “Enough for an army of them.”

Shirayuki grins, poking him until he squeaks. “So just about enough to fill one of your stomachs.”

“Hey.” He presses a hand to his chest, lifting his chin regally. “It would be at least one and a half.”

Gayle huffs out a laugh. “You two are going to make such cute kids. Look at you, just flirting right in the middle of Baking Needs.”

Shirayuki flushes red hot, hem to hairline. “No! We’re not--”

“C’mon then.” Gayle turns on her heel, heading to the back of the store. “We’ll have to get enough for dinner too. Gonna need it after all that cookie making.”

Shirayuki glances down into the cart. “There’s more people coming, right?” she murmurs, only just holding back a helpless whine. “We’re not just making...all of these ourselves.”

“Don’t worry, Doc.” He slings an arm around her shoulders, side pressing warmly into hers. “I’ll help you.”

“Mm,” she hums, dubious. “Eat them, maybe.”

“There won’t be none of that,” Gayle calls back, inspecting a package of ground beef. “Bob need your help downstairs.”

“Aw, no,” Obi groans, shoulders slumping. “Not--”

“You bet your buttons, mister.” She drops a pair of four-pounders right into the cart. “It’s time to put up the Christmas Village.”

#obiyuki #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #my fic #The Wide Florida Bay #Merry & Bright #merry and bright #ans #i'm so sad I had to cut before a really good joke #but i PROMISE it will start the next chapter #also that whole part with gayle waking them up #did not exist in draft one #you can thank joanna #who insisted gayle needed to wake them up #and obi had to have the world's most inconvenient morning wood #and also the 'buggy' part of this was inspired #by a very early discord convo #waaaaaaaay back when i first started writing M&B #where it suddenly became clear that there was a north/south divide on shopping cart names #buggy is wrong and unnatural i'm just sayin

[justmeinbigd]

Dallas Christmas Lights: A Tour of 5 Not-Highland Park Neighborhoods

Some of the biggest lights displays in the Dallas area let you take a carload of people for one price, and I guess that’s a great way to go - for families. But it’s “just me,” so it seems like a splurge, especially when I have to shoot photos through the car window.

Dallas also has several great Christmas lights tours, but some of them make a big dent in your wallet. I tried one for the first time last year, and it was great, but there’s no way I’m getting in a bus with other people this year, even if it’s only half full. 

Luckily, the tour company, Dallas by Chocolate is offering special tours this year that you do in your own vehicle, with treat stops along the way. I’m a big fan of Jeanine Stevens and her company that’s been shining a light on local businesses with Dallas food tours year-round, since 2011. Check them out if that’s the way you want to go.

Still, my favorite way to see the lights has always been behind the wheel of my car, armed with Google Maps and copious notes from years of lists from D Magazine, Dallas Morning News, and local blogs. 

Here’s my list of some super fun Christmas lights you can see in Dallas neighborhoods for free, and on your own schedule.

I’ve mapped out a route to take you through up to five (not Highland Park) neighborhoods in a single evening. If you want to go to Highland Park and University Park for more, there’s a list of the highlights at the very bottom of this post!

Swiss Avenue Historic District

Stop 1

Overview: Simple, yet elegant, low traffic most of the time, in  a scenic neighborhood of historic homes.

Map Pin: I started at Aldredge House, at 5500 Swiss Avenue. You can drive down Swiss for 3-4 blocks each direction and then make the circle to go down the other side.

What you’ll see: Stately homes, mature trees (mostly not wrapped with lights), and classic yard decorations and Christmas lights that outline the architectural elements of the houses.

When to go: Of the Dallas neighborhoods known for Christmas lights, this one provides the least crowded drive through experience, so you can come any time. It’s also pretty during the day when it’s not lit up, so give that a try if you’re not a fan of nighttime driving.

Pro Tip: Pics from the passenger side may come out better, so if you’re traveling solo, you may want to get out of the car and walk around for a better vantage point. Otherwise, after pulling over, you’ll have to snap pictures across the wide, grassy median to the opposite side of the street. 

Tour Tip: If you’re not going to Electrict Lizzieland, head North on Skillman or Matilda to exit the Swiss Avenue neighborhood. Avoid driving down Greenville Avenue unless you want to get stuck in traffic (bad) or stop for to-go dinner/drinks/snacks for the rest of the tour(not bad at all.)

Electric Lizzieland (pic coming soon)

Stop 2

Overview: One house with lots of lights and glitter, a bit of a wild take on Christmas, but 100% family-friendly.

You will want to get out of the car for this one, so bring your mask. It can be a little crowded, due to a smaller window of time each evening the display is turned on. 

What you’ll see:  If you took the Christmas decorations from 10 or so houses and put them all on one house, it might look like this. A yard full of playful snowmen and candy canes, rooftop scenes with lighting, and lots more. Head toward the porch to get a close-up of brightly-painted and glittered plywood panels and a tree-covered walkway with hundreds (maybe thousands?) of lights. 

When to go: Lights are on from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.(don’t expect precision on the timing) most nights. When there’s inclement weather, the lights will be off. You can check the status on their Facebook page before you go.

Map Pin: Electric Lizzieland 

If you want to check out other homes in the neighborhood, you can choose a starting point on Newell Avenue between Santa Monica and Lindley. 

Joy Triumphant at Abrams and Trammell 

Stop 3

Overview: A hodgepodge of everything from traditional Christmas to nerdy and nostalgic on a large corner lot with high visibility.

What you’ll see: Every passerby will see the word Joy lit up in giant letters and some fun inflatables. Look a little closer and you’ll find a dinosaur, maybe a Kip’s Big Boy, and lots of other quirky lawn decor.

I call it Joy triumphant because when some of his inflatables were stolen or vandalized, people wrote notes and cards to the homeowner, and some even sent money, which he did not want. Sharing Christmas spirit is what matters to him, and he just keeps doing it with his wacky and joyous lawn.

When to go: Any time. The intersection gets moderate to high traffic, so you’ll need to pull over on a side street  and “zoom with your feet” to view more closely. Please do not attempt to take this photo while driving!

Map Pin: 32.84483, -96.75293

Hit the Highlights in the M Streets

Stop 4

Overview: A neighborhood with lots of Tudor houses, largely occupied by affluent young professionals with children, with lights ranging from simple to “we just threw a little bit of everything out there.” 

What you’ll see: A wide variety of decorations, many with high kid-appeal. Not every house is lit or decorated, and on those that are, you’ll see everything from elegance to extravaganzas and inflatables.  Map Pin and Points of Interest: 2.826532972222225, -96.77127899999999 The map pin and the second photo shown above are for a house that sits next to one of the more exuberant ones (though not the one pictured above it.) The lights above the window say “Bah, humbug.” I found it hilarious to see them side by side. 

Other interesting homes from previous years were in the 5600 Block of Vickery, on Marquita between Matilda and Delmar, and in the 5800 block of Mercedes.

When to go: Some houses turn their lights off by 9, others are on all night. There aren’t “lines” like in Highland Park, but the narrow streets can be hard to navigate with cars parked on the street.

From here, it makes sense to head over to Highland Park, but if you do, you’ll miss my favorite Christmas lights neighborhood. It’s not too far out of the way, and then you can circle back to Highland Park.

12 Days of Christmas at Timberhollow Circle

Stop 5

Overview: Understated, “old school” yard decor of painted plywood with floodlights and the occasional extravaganza mixed in.

What you’ll see: Each of the 12 Days of Christmas are represented, in order at neighboring houses on Timberhollow Circle. Most are very understated, but cute, and at least one is absolutely stunning. 

I also enjoyed driving through the neighboring streets for beautiful and thoughtful decorations including nativities, smaller inflatables, and smaller light displays.

When to go: Any time, just not too late at night; it’s a quiet neighborhood. 

Map Pin: 32°53'26.3"N 96°44'33.2"W

This is my favorite neighborhood for drive-through Christmas lights. Here are pics from two other homes on Moss Haven.

And I guess I’m just giving away my age, but this is my favorite house of all. It’s also on Moss Haven Drive.

Highland Park Highlights Here are some Highland Park highlights I transcribed from an infographic posted by Snow Day on Instagram and from my previous trips.

Highland Park/University Park Highlights 6767 Turtle Creek Blvd, Dallas 6920 Turtle Creek Blvd 6767 Druid 4316 Edmondson 3200 block and 3600 block (or really ALL) of Beverly Drive 4345 Rheims 4401 Lorraine Further North

3700 Block of Southwestern -  All the Santas. This isn’t even all of it!

6767 Hunters Glen (This is an enormous home with yard lights for nearly a full block. The two pics below only capture a portion of it!)

Wherever you go, please stay safe this Christmas. I hope your holiday season is filled with joy. Merry Christmas!!

#Dallas #DallasChristmas #ThingsToDoDallas #DallasSights #TheSmallerSideOfBigD

[bobgasm]

ornate | c.b

pairing: carter baizen x reader word count: 2525 warnings: tooth rotting fluff,

prompt: dad!au

summary: in which the hotel pastry chef entertains his 5 year old

author’s note: blame @captainscanadian​​ for this. aj gave me all the dad!carter feels. christmas twist on it though. open ending in case i want to write more *wink wink*

oneshot | masterlist

        You know that part in Elf where Buddy decks the mall out with paper decorations to further celebrate the joy of Christmas?  That’s what the Hyacinth Hotel lobby looked like.  Like Buddy the Elf had personally decorated it.

        As soon as guests walked in they were metaphorically transported to the North Pole.  There was a huge Christmas tree in the centre of the lobby, decorated perfectly.  Dustings of tinsel dripped from the pine, with gorgeous red, white and gold baubles hanging from the end of the branches.  An elaborate train track was set up to rotate around the tree, and there were even boxes wrapped and placed under the tree.

        All empty, unfortunately.  Purely for decoration.  Simply to add to the Christmas spirit, which all of the children loved.

        But if you looked closely, you’d see that all of the baubles were decorated differently.  All within the same colour scheme, but personalised by the children who attended the holiday club the hotel ran.  Some had their names.  Some had glitter, sequins, and ribbons adding to theirs.

        That wasn’t the only activity they hotel offered.  On some days they took the kids outside to play in the snow.  Having snowball fights, or building snowmen, but the crowd favourite was sledding.  And afterwards, always after, they were treated to hot chocolates and a warm meal inside.  All at no cost to the parents.

        That was the one thing the owner of the hotel assured.  The holiday programme was included in the cost of the stay – it wasn’t but the guests didn’t need to know that.  He wanted to make sure that all the kids had equal opportunity to have a good time, because he knew what it was like to spend holidays in hotels all over the world.  He knew how boring it could be stuck inside watching movies, when all they wanted to do was hang out with other kids their age.

        Ever since the birth of his own son, he’d made sure that all kinds of activities were available for kids of all ages.  Those who were old enough to be left unsupervised could still attend if they wanted to, but it was more intended for the younger kids and pre-teens.  Those were the ages where you got dragged everywhere with your parents.  Where you’d be stuck inside your hotel room while they worked, or had to bring you along with them.

        Having grown up and lived through the same experiences, Carter Baizen made sure there was always some kind of holiday programme running.  Even if there was no holiday, if the parents expressed their child might like to partake in the activities the hotel was offering, there was always something happening.

        The hotels decorations constantly blew guests away.  There was always a small pause as soon as new guests arrived, stopping in their tracks to actually admire the interior of the lobby.  Never expecting to see the tinsel around the front desk, or the bowl of candy that got refilled by an elf every hour.  Amazed by the lights that were strung up on the ceiling, which when illuminated read “Merry Christmas”.

        Everyone was gobsmacked.  And Carter never grew sick of watching their reactions whenever he caught them.

        Y/N had only worked for Hyacinth for less than eight months.  She’d been taken on for her culinary genius as the head pastry chef, but dabbled more with cooking the meals than preparing award-winning desserts.

        For Halloween she’d crafted small treats for all the guests to hand out when the children roamed the halls trick or treating.  But other than that, and revamping the dessert menu, she hadn’t really had the chance to truly showcase her talent.

        Until she had the wild idea to further the Christmas spirit, and what better way than to create an elaborate gingerbread house that looked like the Hyacinth Hotel?  Y/N thought it was a genius idea, and while the rest of the kitchen staff worked on the regular meals for guests, she took up a small space of the kitchen to turn her idea into a reality.

        So far, it had taken over ten days of sketching and practise baing in her own home before she’d bought the idea to work.  Needing to find the perfect length of time to bake the gingerbread for so that it could stand up without crumbling, and how best to decorate it.  Finding the right consistency of frosting so that it acted like glue to hold all the bits together.

        By two the lunch rush was over and the kitchen was closed until five, giving Y/N at least three hours to bake and decorate once the pieces were cool.  Unfortunately for her, all the staff were gossiping about the gingerbread masterpiece she was working on.  Her fellow chefs were wanting to offer their help, but she felt like she had to prove exactly why Mr. Baizen had hired her as the head pastry chef.  So they’d all been temporarily banned from the kitchen until it was time for the dinner rush.

        And so they gossipped.  Telling everyone what Y/N was up to, and building up the hype for her gingerbread masterpiece.

        She didn’t mind the gossip.  She knew how good she was, but it was the timeframe she was a little worried about.  It was why she’d baked a bunch of gingerbread between the breakfast and lunch rushes.  So that her walls were ready, and at most, all she had to do was stick it all together.  Oh, and decorate it.

        Three hours was plenty of time before its debut, right?

        Y/N blew out a breath.  She had some serious work to do.

        “Kitchen’s closed!”  Y/N hollered, hearing the door rattle as it swung shut.  Hearing no response she sighed, placing the piping bag down on the bench, and went to investigate.  “I said the kitchen is closed!”

        “Sorry,” a little voice said.  Y/N looked down at the ground, where Parker Baizen was hiding behind one of the large pots.  “Hannah said you bake gingebread hotel?”

        Hannah was one of the girls who ran the holiday program.  Y/N had made it clear that the gingerbread masterpiece would be ready before dinner, so that guests could marvel at it and hopefully it made them crave a dessert.  There was never anything better than sweet food on Christmas Eve, and Y/N had been given permission to release a new Christmas dessert menu for the week leading up to the big day.

        Y/N sighed, smiling as she crouched down and held out her hand.  “You want to help me?  I could use a sous chef.”

        Parker smiled a big, toothy smile.  A couple of his front teeth missing.  “I help,” he said, taking Y/N’s hand and letting her lead him to the sink so he could wash his hands.

        She’d only met Carter a handful of times, but she’d seen him with his son almost every day since she started working for Hyacinth.  They lived up in the penthouse suite, and Parker attended the school just down the road.  Every morning they’d dine in the restaurant for breakfast.  Parker had a special request of Cheerios and orange juice, and Carter often had just a coffee.  Every now and then, at Parker’s request, he’d eat something for breakfast.  But more often than not, it was just the black coffee.

        Every Sunday they treated themselves to pancakes or waffles, and Y/N liked to personally take their meals out to them.  Parker was a sweet kid, and Carter always appreciated knowing exactly who had prepared his food.  After a while, whenever he saw Y/N heading towards them with their food, he stopped being such a worry wart.  She was one of the best.  He’d grown to trust her, and sometimes he’d surprise himself and order bacon and eggs during the week.

        If not only for the chance to see her.

        Parker dried his hands while Y/N found a stool for him.  Setting it up beside her so he could stand up and see the progress she’d made so far.

        “What do you think?”  She asked him.  “Is it starting to look like the outside of the hotel?”

        He hummed.  “Needs more Christmas.”

        Y/N laughed.  “I agree.  It needs a lot more Christmas.”

        And so they got to work.  Y/N enlisted his help in holding pieces of gingerbread together while the frosting hardened.  And slowly but surely, the gingerbread masterpiece was starting to come together.  Even if Parker got sidetracked helping, so that he could eat the offcuts of gingerbread.  Y/N appreciated the five minutes it gave her to blitz out some of the piping decorations required to make the outside of the gingerbread hotel look like the outside of the real hotel.

        Then Parker was back to helping her set up the fondant trees, and cover the board in frosting.  He held the fountain in place while she attached the blue coloured white chocolate to make it look like water was pouring out of it.  She laid some grey and silver sprinkles over the board, making it look like the gravel of the road, and he watched excitedly as it all came together.

        “Y/N?”  Parker asked.  “Need snow.”

        “I think you’re right, Parker,” she agreed.  “Help me to find the powdered sugar?  We can sprinkle it over everything to make it look like fresh snow.”

        “And snowman!”

        “I’ll see what I can do about the snowman,” she assured him, already thinking about what she could use to make it, and coming up with one option.  To make it out of fondant.  Fortunately, she still had some left over from the fountain she’d made, so all she had to do was shape it and stick it in the front grounds of the sculpture.

        Parker grabbed the container of powdered sugar, and Y/N found a sieve.  That way the ‘snow’ was distributed evenly, and Parker could do it while she made the snowman.  Y/N taught him how to lightly tap the sieve with the powdered sugar in it, and he giggled when he first did it unassisted.  She beamed at him and encouraged him to look at what he was doing while she created his snowman.

        “Daddy!”  Parker squealed.  “Look at masterpiece!”

        Y/N looked up from the snowman.  She’d managed to have enough red fondant to make a small carrot for a nose, and a scarf for the snowman.  Far too deep in concentration to realise someone had just entered the kitchen.  She looked up from the fondant, grateful for the break.  Her eyes had been straining trying to focus on the minor detailing of the snowman, so she appreciated actually having something of normal size to look at.

        “He’s not bothering you, is he?”  Carter asked, slowly walking towards the station Y/N had set up.

        “Not at all,” she replied with a smile and a heavy exhale.  “We’ve been hard at work, right Parker?”

        He hummed, still focusing on sprinkling ‘snow’ over the gingerbread hotel.  “It’s gingebread hotel.  I soup chef.”

        Y/N laughed softly at Carter’s confusion.  “I called him my sous chef earlier.  I’m picking that’s what he means,” she explained.  He nodded slowly, a smile spread over his face.

        “It looks good,” he commented.  “Amazing, actually.  The snow looks great, Park.”

        “Thanks, daddy,” he replied.  “Y/N make snowman, too.”

        “I’m trying, at least,” she said, holding up the fondant creation.  The snowman, had sprinkles for eyes and buttons down his midriff, and the scarf was loosely hanging around his neck.  She hadn’t gotten the chance to wrap it around properly yet, but she would.  “He just needs arms now.”

        “Everyone’s going to be blown away by this,” he assured both Parker and Y/N.  They beamed at him in response.  “I heard all the chatter about the gingerbread masterpiece you were whipping up, and I figured I’d find Parker here.  Hannah said he snuck out of the holiday club today.”

        “I wanted help,” Parker explained.  “Only colouring in club.  This better.”

        “I’m sorry, I should have told someone to let you know he was here,” Y/N apologised.  “I didn’t even think.”

        “I would’ve worried if I didn’t find him here,” Carter replied earnestly.  “It’s fine.  Park, little man, you need to make sure you tell Hannah where you’re going next time, okay?”

        Parker sighed.  “I’m sorry, daddy.  Just wanted help.”

        Carter leaned forward to kiss Parker’s head, assuring him it was okay.  He kept his hand on Parker’s shoulder.  “You guys mind if I stay and watch you finish up?”

        “Yes,” Y/N said.  “Go and wash your hands.  We have a lot of work left to do, and three pairs of hands are better than two.”

        “Yeah, daddy.  Help!”  Parker chastised, making both adults laugh.  Carter did as he was told.  Parker went back to applying ‘snow’ to the gingerbread hotel, and Y/N tried to get the scarf to look normal on the snowman.  Eventually giving up and creating some arms from tinfoil before placing the snowman on the board.  Parker made sure to cover him in some more snow.

        Y/N asked for Carter’s help to tidy up some of the piping, or to finish it in places it was lacking.  Surprisingly he had quite a steady hand, and an eye for detail.  She carefully swapped out the windows on the gingerbread with candied ones, that offered a blurred sight into the hotel.  If you took the top off, you’d see the replica fondant tree and decorations that paralleled the interior of the lobby.  It really was a masterpiece.

        Buddy would be proud.

        “We’ve got two minutes before the staff are going to have to come in and fire everything up for dinner service,” Y/N said.  “Do you boys think we’re finished?  Are we ready to take this masterpiece out to the dining area for everyone to see?”

        “Yes!”  Parker squealed.  “So amazing!”

        “I think that’s a yes, boss,” Carter replied, dazzling her with a smile.  Y/N clapped her hands together, excitedly.  “Park, you want to go and make sure we have plenty of room to bring this out?”

        The little boy hopped off his stool and raced out of the kitchen.  Carter turned to Y/N.

        “You’ve outdone yourself,” he told her.

        “It’s what you hired me for,” she reminded him.  “I’m literally just doing my job.”

        “I meant babysitting Parker at the same time,” he said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.  “I already knew you were an amazing chef.  Thank you for letting him help.  I know it would’ve meant a lot to him.”

         “He’s such a good kid,” Y/N replied.  “He’s more than welcome back in my kitchen anytime he likes.  It’s hard to find a good sous chef.”  She shot him a wink and he laughed.  “Seriously, he’s a good kid, Carter.  It’s hardly babysitting.”

        “Thank you,” he said almost bashfully.  Y/N smiled back at him.

        “C’mon.  It’s time to take this masterpiece out for everyone to see.”

#carter baizen #carter baizen x reader #carter baizen x you #single father!carter baizen #single father!carter #dad!carter #dad!carter baizen #carter baizen fanfic #carter baizen fanfiction

[mirkwoodshewolf]

A day at Disneyland; Chris Hemsworth x reader

*Author’s note*

Hello and good afternoon everybody! So this is a request that I have had done for the past couple of days but I’ve been on a deadline with another request that I’m trying to get done before their bday tomorrow (I’m about half way done with it) but this one is probably my first ever Hemsworth story I had ever done (So I’ve done half of the Chris quartet). Now my knowledge of Disneyland is minimal to none cause I’ve never been to Cally so the only Disney experience I’ve had is Disneyworld down in Florida, but I hope I still did some justice for this fic.

No warnings except PURE, UNADULTERATED, TEETH-ROTTING G RATED FLUFF!!!

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

_______________________________________________________

I was packing up the car getting ready to prepare for the 2 and a half hour drive to downtown LA so that the kids and I could go to Disneyland.  My name is (y/n) (l/n) and I’ve been a single mom for three years.  My ex-husband and I were having some problems, constantly fighting until finally one stupid mistake on his part landed him in the LA prison.

Furious and disappointed, I filed for divorce because I didn’t want his bad influence to affect our children and it was hard on us, especially my eldest son Dean.  He and his daddy were close ever since he was born, but when I was forced to tell him that his daddy wasn’t ever gonna get out of prison, it was hard for him to cope.

It was tough raising not only 2 growing boys but a newborn baby girl at the same time.  My little girl, Leia will never get to know her father because of his stupidity and I don’t want to expose her to him. At first I thought I’d never get to have the father figure my kids needed because it was just me and my sister and my mom who was helping me raise my kids, my dad sadly passed away due to a stroke shortly after my second son Henry was born.

That was until by sheer luck of fate as I was coming home from the store when I accidentally dropped all my well-paid food, that a handsome blonde stranger came into my life.

I had no idea at the time who he was until Dean (whose obsessed with all things superheroes both Marvel and DC) that when we saw the second Avengers movie Age of Ultron, it was shocked to see that it was him.  Chris Hemsworth.

We kept in contact and whenever he wasn’t too busy, he’d come over for a visit and we’d have a couple of dinners.  Soon couple dinners turned into months’ worth of dinners, then starting a relationship until just recently about a year ago he moved in with me and the kids. ��Right now he was busy filming “Avengers: End Game” down in his homeland of Australia.

One night as we were all facetiming with each other, Chris had given us a surprise.  He said that he and the entire cast would be in Disneyland to help promote the film and not only that, he got all four of us tickets to go throughout the park and spend an entire day at Disneyland.  The kids were so excited that they were finally gonna go to Disneyland, especially my little girl since she’s finally big enough to ride some of the rides.

Which leads us to here.  As I was putting the bags into the car I said.

“Dean, don’t forget to bring your chargers okay?”

“Yeah mom.”

“Leia, do you got your Simba plushie with you?”

“Right here mommy.” She exclaimed as she held out her stuffed Simba plushie that Chris had given her last Christmas.

“Henry you’ve got your lightsaber right?”

“Yeah, do you think I could really fly the Millennium Falcon?” he asked me.

“We’ll see. Okay Got the bags, toys, gaming consuls, DVD is all set up. Everyone got everything?” My kids all cheered out in choir unison. “So whose ready to go to Disneyland?” they all cheered and raised their hands and I continued, “Alright. Tickets are in my purse and off we go!” I started the car and started up the installed DVD player which played Leia’s and Henry’s favorite movie “Hercules”.

Thankfully with the help of a movie and Dean busy playing on his Nintendo, there wasn’t much complaining from the kids (which was perfect for me).  Finally after the long drive, we finally reached the archway of the entrance into Disneyland.

“We’re here! We’re here! Look over there I can see Woody!” All my kids were in pure awe as we drove under the archway, I could just feel from the front seat the energy these kids were about to unleash.  I was now waiting in line to pay for parking and when I had gotten up I greeted the worker and handed her my license and money.

But when she saw my picture she handed me not only my license but the cash back as well and she told me.

“No payment necessary ma’am, we’ve actually been told of a special reserve spot for you to go to.” At first I was confused but then it dawned on me.

“That Aussie I tell you what.”

“One of our workers will escort you to your special reserved spot.” It was then another worker came up and he asked if he could hop into the car so he could be my navigator. I allowed him in the passenger seat and he told me exactly where to go.

We drove around for about 5 minutes till we reached the reserved front corner entrance where standing there with sunglasses on was Chris.  He grinned and waved to us and the kids waved back to him.  I parked in the parking spot and as soon as I turned off the engine, all the kids raced out and glomped him.

 “There are my favorite three little munchkins!” Chris proclaimed as he wrapped his arms around all three of my kids at the same time and even lifted them up and spun them around, making them laugh and cheer.

“And what about me? Am I just the cabbie driver? Or just some old maid here to serve your favorite three munchkins?” I teased.  Chris set my kids down and he said.

“On the contrary, you my lady are the beautiful good witch who protects and nurtures them. A witch that has put even a god like me under her spell.” He wrapped his arms around me, swaying me gently from side to side grinning down at me.  I grinned up at his sweet talk before our lips joined together only to be disrupted when a choir of voices cried out.

“EWWW!!!!” We separated to see all three of my kids with a look of disgust on their faces.

“Ahh no it’s not gross. Be patient soon enough all of you will be doing this.” Said Chris.

“Over my dead body.” I mocked.  “I want my babies to stay this young forever! Especially my little man.” I said as I walked up to my kids before hugging my eldest son close.  I swarmed his face with kisses and ruffled his ‘lion mane’ like hair that he inherited from his father.

“Mom! Mom, you’re messing with my mane!” Dean cried out as he tried to get out of my embrace. When I finally released him he backed away and tried to readjust his hair to that sweep-over hair that looked like it belonged back in the 1980’s.

“I need to plan an appointment to get your haircut mister.”

“No!” he then raced over to Chris and hid behind him.

“No worries mate, I won’t let any barber cut this hair of yours.” Chris said as he stroked my son’s hair.

“Coming from the very man whose worn the same long blonde wig for years.”

“Hey the last few movies I didn’t have to wear one. But this meeting isn’t about haircuts, now whose ready for a full fun day at Disneyland?!” The kids all raised their hands crying out ‘me! Me! Me! Me!’ “Awesome, already got our tickets, so let’s go out there and have a full day of family fun!” We all cheered before racing onward into the park.

There were so many rides that it was almost impossible to pick just one.  However my daughter who has always favored the merry-go-round no matter whether it was a state fair, amusement park or whatever, anytime she saw a Merry go round she wanted to go on it.

So as a nice little warmup, we all got in line for the merry-go-round.  We waited for I don’t know 5-10minutes in line before they let the next several people to go aboard.  My sons went straight for the two twin black horses while my baby girl went for a white stallion with a pink saddle on it.  As I was about to get on my horse, Chris came up and he said.

“Allow me my lady.”

“Why thank you good sir knight.” I mocked in probably the worst British accent I could muster. I felt his hands go to my waist and he gently hoisted me up and I ended up rising side-saddle but then what I didn’t expect was for Chris to get right behind me.  “Uhh Chris, I don’t think we’re allowed to do this.”

“Relax love, it’ll be okay.” He assured me.  The bell soon sounded off and soon an accordion version of ‘A dream is a wish’ started plaything through the speakers and the ride began.  

All around us, kids were cheering and waving to their parents who were standing along the railings watching their kids ride all by themselves, young couples riding side by side holding hands or riding in the sleighs nonchalantly kissing each other.

I felt Chris take my hands in his and I felt his head gently lean against mine and a kiss at my temple.  I smiled and nuzzled against him as the ride continued to go on.

After the ride we continued to walk around the park riding more rides like the Mad Hatter’s teacup ride, and Toy Story Mania that was until we finally reached the famous Splash Mountain.

“Ohh mom look! Splash Mountain!” Henry proclaimed as he was now riding on top of Chris’ shoulders.  

“I see it Henry.”

“Can we go on that next, please?”

“I guess we can, but I’m not sure if everyone’s tall enough to ride it.” I teased as I looked down at my daughter who was holding my hand.

“Yes I am mama! We measured me last month! I’m big enough.” She said as she pulled on my hand.

“Ohh that’s right, well let’s get a second opinion from the official park height measurements.” We all headed over to the line entrance of Splash Mountain and Leia immediately went up to the height chart.  “Okay, now stand still baby girl.” She hummed happily as she could barely contain her excitement. “No cheating now.” I told her in my mom voice and that made her stand still.

In the end, she was eligible to ride Splash Mountain.

“Okay, everyone stick together now.” Leia cheered happily and her brothers high-fived or fist-bumped her and even Chris did a double fist bump with her as he cheered and picked her up.

“Alright that’s my girl! I told you were growing like a weed!”

“Okay everyone let’s get into the line before it gets too long.” We all got in line and we waited. After what felt like forever and the kids complaining about when the line would move faster, hanging off both mine and Chris’ hands and arms, we finally got closer to the ride.  Since there were five of us we decided to divide up the group, I took Henry and Leia while Chris and Dean rode together, being the big boys that they were.

I got in the log first with the help of the ride attendant and I told Leia to get in first so that way she would be in the middle and Henry could ride up front.  Once we were buckled in and the guy gave us the all clear and the worker at the controls gave a thumbs up and soon we were off.

We went along the trail before going up the first hill.  Hearing the ticking of the controls as it took us up higher and higher before finally dropping us downward on the small uphill.  We were all cheering and laughing as we allowed the current to push us faster than we did when we first went out.

We were now shrouded in darkness as we were now inside the mountain before we would go off the big hill that would take our picture.

“Is this the big drop yet?” asked Leia.

“Yeah Leia, and watch this, this time I’m gonna have both my hands up in the air!” proclaimed Henry.

“Just make sure you don’t unbuckle yourself Henry.” We soon saw the light at the end of the tunnel and I said as I hugged my daughter’s waist. “Here we go.” As soon as we went off the drop-off we all screamed before finally splashing down at the bottom, getting soaked with water.  Both my kids were laughing and clapping. “So Leia, was it everything you thought it would be?”

“It was better mama! We went up and up and up till we went SHOOSH!!” I smiled down at her and I saw Henry was about to get out as soon as we saw the exit point.

“Hold on Henry, wait till we come to a complete stop.” Another worker soon placed their foot on our log and she said.

“Please watch your step as you exit the log, and we hope you have a good rest of your day at Disneyland. And don’t forget about our fireworks show tonight at 8pm in front of Cinderella’s castle.”  She helped my kids out and I got out on my own with a bit of help from her.  As we collected our stuff, we waited at the bottom of the exit point for Chris and Dean.

A few minutes later we saw them coming down (well Dean was more like racing down while Chris was the one walking).

“Did you boys have fun?”

“You bet we did, and how about you Princess? Was it exciting?” Chris asked as he scooped up my daughter and she laughed giddily.

“It was soo much fun, can we go on it again?”

“Maybe later, for now let’s go see our pictures.” He answered.  We walked further down the trail till we reached the giftshop and went up to the picture booth and waited and that’s when I pointed out for Henry and Leia.

“Look there we are.” All three of our faces filled with screams or joy.  Henry as promised had both of his hands in the air and his eyes were wide.  Meanwhile I turned and saw Chris and Dean’s pictures.  Chris had covered Dean’s eyes with his hands while his blue eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his sockets, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Shall we get a copy?” he asked.

“I don’t know…..”

“C’mon this is my treat.”

“Baby I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of your well-earned—”

“You’re not. This is me treating my lovely girl and her children on a day of fun.” He pecked my cheek before turning to the kids giving them the signal to back him up.

“Please mama, please!” They all ganged up against me giving me the puppy dog eyes, Chris included as he had all my kids in his arms looking right up at me.

“Ohh…..alright.” The kids cheered and then turned to Chris telling him what they wanted.  In the end Dean got a keychain, Henry got a small picture frame and Leia got a small locket, and Chris got him and I a copy of a picture frame of our picture.

After a few more rides, we all began to get hungry so we found ourselves a nice little food court restaurant called “Mickey’s Italian shop”.  As we ordered out food, like you would see on Youtube of the characters coming up to the guests just to hang out with the customers.

So we ended up having Mickey and Pluto coming over to our table.  Pluto being my daughter’s favorite Disney dog was thrilled and gave him a big hug and of course Pluto hugged her back before using that tongue that always hangs out to give her a ‘doggy kiss’.  It was so adorable that I just had to get a picture of them together, I also got some pictures of my boys with Mickey and Chris took one with me, Pluto and Mickey.

The day continued to press on and soon it was nightfall and everyone gathered at Cinderella’s castle to grab the best spot for the fireworks show that was about to happen in the next 7 minutes.  Even with the crowd of people that were already sitting down, we still managed to get good enough seats to still see the castle’s full stature.

After waiting a few more minutes the lights went off and we all cheered as the castle first lite up a lightshow for us.  Showing images and clips from various Disney films as ‘Circle of Life’ blared from the speakers.  Chris and I looked at each other before leaning against one another watching the light show and seeing the kids stare in awe.  Then the big event happened.

A giant red firework shot up and exploded into the sky.  Everyone oohed and ahhed as more fireworks began to fly into the sky before exploding into various colors and sizes.

“Did you have a good time love?”

“This was the most wonderful time I’ve ever had at Disneyland. Even when I was a kid, it didn’t compare to this.”

“I think this might get a little more interesting.” He said.  I was about to ask him what he meant by it but he pressed a finger to my lips and turned my chin back toward the sky.  We continued to watch the fireworks but then something happened I had never seen happen at a Disney firework show.

One firework that went off created an image of Mjolnir, Thor’s famed hammer before three fireworks fired off immediately spelling out.

“YOU AR WORTHY TO ME.” My jaw slowly dropped and I felt my heart stop.  Soon another phrase spelled across the sky, “WILL YOU LET ME BE WORTHY OF YOU?” I turned to Chris who now stood on one knee holding out a small ring.  A spotlight came down onto us and I could hear everyone gasp and cry out around us.

“(Y/n), these past few years have been the best years of my life. I didn’t think I would be happy, until you came into my life. Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?” he opened the box revealing the ring sparkling under the spotlight’s bright light.  I was in tears as I was covering my face with my hands.

Everyone around me, including my kids telling me to say yes.  I nodded rapidly and kissed him with as much passion as I could muster while all around us, everyone was applauding and my kids cam around us and hugged us.

“Ladies and gentlemen we’d like to have the honor of introducing Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth and his new fiancée!” I cupped his cheeks and he kissed my forehead, down my cheek before reclaiming my lips with his.

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth imagine #chris hemsworth imagines #marvel #marvel actor #marvel actors #actor imagine #actor x reader #actor imagines #actor fanfic #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth fanfiction #actor fanfiction

[swishandthenflick]

stuff you never knew you needed to know

I was tagged by the sweet @anelementofsurprise. Thank you Rachel hope yoy are well!!!

1. Do you put ketchup on a coney? Definitely I love ketchup so I put it on almost everything.

2. Choice of soda? I used to like coke but right now I go either for a juice or water when I go out. I would usually have a coke when I retch

3. Do you own a gun? No 

4. Can you swim? Yes and I love it.

5. Hot dogs or burger? A burger all the way with extra pickles please.

6. Favorite type of food? Homemade.

7. Do you believe in ghosts? My science part no but you never know...

8. What do you drink in the morning? If I want to wake coffee and also juice.

9. Can you do 100 pushups? Holy shit, no way. Who can??? Same!!!

10. Summer, Winter, Spring, or Autumn? I have to go with summer because the weather is lovely here in Greece.

11. Favorite hobby? Reading my escape mechanism. 

12. Tattoos? I don’t have one

13. Do you wear glasses? Sadly yes since 5th grade.

14. Do you have a phobia?  Claustrophobia & Acrophobia.

15. Do you have nick name? Sometimes they call me Stellitsa.

16. Three favorite drinks? Tea,juice and water.

17. Biggest downfall? Insecurity all the way. 

18. Rain or Snow? I have to go with snow since it gives me Christmas vibes no matter what time of year it happens.

19. Can you change a tire? I don’t even have a car.

20. Favorite flower? Daisy and sunflower they are so positive.

21. Can you drive a stick? A what now? Same!!!

22. Ever gone skydiving? No but it seems a way to conquer a certain phobia.

23. Kids? I love children so I would love to have my own one day.

24. Favorite color? Teal and Red when it comes to clothes.

25. Employed? Yes! I have private lessons and I think that the job really helped me with my insecurities.

26. Can you whistle? Yes and when I listen a music that I like I want to mimic it.

27. Where were you born? Thessaloniki, Greece

28. Siblings? 2 sisters and they are the best.

29. Surgeries? None thank God.

30. Shower or bath? I prefer baths but tend to have showers out of convenience. Same!

31. Last song you listened to?  Δ. Γκόγκος(Μπαγιαντέρας) - Σαν μαγεμένο το μυαλό μου.

32. Age? 25

33. Broken bones? None

34. How many tv’s in your house? 4!!!

35. Worst pain? Fortunately I’ve not really suffered much severe psychical pain.Same!

36. Do you like to sing? Yes but I don’t sing well!

37. Are your parents still alive? Yes!!!

38. Do you like camping? I have never done it but it sounds a great experience since I love nature so much.

39. What do you enjoy binge watching? Mostly family comedies and  Michael Schur’s shows.

40. Pumpkin or Sweet Potato pie? I have tried only pumpkin but I am with you Rachel sweet pies need fruit in them!!!

Tagging @absolute-twaddle @jameskirk-spaceidiot @doctor-punkenstein @serenastella @maraschino-merry @ciara-jane and @ciceros-ghost

#personal #tag games

[jkid4]

Spending Christmas Alone

It’s been over a year since I posted my cry for help in 2018, and I still remember it and the overwhelming response to it. The money I’ve received helped me and my family a lot to starve off eviction. Good news it that due to some foresight I took when I was at the Prince Georges County Social Services Office I was able to get Social Security Disability Insurance around March 2019. I had to use over half of the backpay to support my parents who still could not get a job no matter how hard they tried. I was also burnt out from emotionally, physically, and financially care-giving and I’ve been running on zero for years, despite the fact that I’ve gotten SSDI and this source of the burn out is from my parents. Ending my own life was not option and abandoning my parents isn’t an option because everyone in my family will call me a pile of shit instead of stepping up in my absence. I was simply forced to endure it because no one else wants to help.

I was simply forced to endure until I could not deal with it anymore. And that point came when my autistic brother had a seizure while on the his laptop and my mother was upset and screaming fearing that my brother is going to die. I could not control her emotions no matter what I done in the past, it was all bioscripted. After the incident, and the day where I visited the hospital and told my mom politely that I can’t support the family anymore and I did all I could as my brother needs round the clock care.

It took me 10 days from that to starting packing and starting to find a place to live, and for me for a person who knows no one that can help and public housing and section 8 is non existent anywhere, it was pure luck that I found a room in a house for 650 dollars and near a bus line to a metrorail station. I had to pay it out of my own pocket and from the student loan refund because social services explicitly told me that unless you have children or pregnant, regardless of disability, they will not help you with moving or rental assistance.

At one point, and I was serious, I planned to just put all of my stuff into storage, everything and just traveled across the country, because is relatively cheaper to live as a homeless person on SSDI and food stamps than to pay any money for a roof over your head.

My brother is at a group home, my mom and dad are making sure he’s doing ok and good. I’ve signed up for a part time care-giving service so I can be paid when I have to visit my parents to watch my brother. Unfortunately I have to wait for my pay to come because my first check I was supposed to received in direct deposit was sent by check instead and they it was lost in the mail. So I have to wait until next week Friday to receive it.

My mom finally has a job, paying 15 dollars a hour for the next six months with a possibility for being hired permanently. She’s also trying to get a small business running to make money on transporting elderly people to and from places using a used van. As for the house, it’s already three months behind, and I’ve told my parents to sell the house or rent it out if we can’t catch up with the mortgage. I’ve done all I could, and I’ve done enough. I come back to check on them on a periodic basis to make sure that the house is OK and make sure the trash and recycling is taken out. She’s also filed for bankruptcy, which means all of her debts are clean off.

As for me, I might has my independence back, but I’m paying for it for the rest of my life. Credit cards deb thave since been defaulted which I have to pay of for the rest of my life, same thing with student loans. This is because I’m unemployable due to a number of reasons that normal people can’t and don’t want to understand. Too many employers, even temp agencies don’t want a gap, and despite having relevant skills, too many employers don’t take resume reading seriously.

And NO, employers don’t accept caregiving as volunteer experience. Caregiving is not something you volunteer as you get nothing from it when you’re done caregiving or can’t do it anymore other than “just go to social services”.

And you will not believe the unsociltzed advice and advice dumps I get when I tell people online about my ordeal: Go watch a movie, travel, go date. Do I look I have money for all of this? And go date? Dating has changed, everyone uses phone apps to date. Worse, after age 30 you’re not supposed supposed to approach people anymore. Society has changed, and most people are stuck in the Pre-Great Recession era when it comes to getting social relations advice and job advice.

And too many employers for good paying jobs want a credit check and many will not hire anyone with a bad credit rating for any reason. This includes federal jobs, because there’s simply too many people who are in a better life position than I do. So I’m basically unemployed for life.

Oh why not the gig economy? I don’t have a car for most of them.

As for my relatives that refused to help or didn’t want to help, I can tell you straight up, that none of them offered me or my parents any help since I moved away. None of them. More proof that caregivers are just disposable and just told to shove themselves back into the job market. It worth nothing that none of them called me to say Merry Christmas, not even my friends or people I know who I contact on a regular basis. I basically don’t exist.

And this is one part of many of my life is destroyed by caregiving. I’m expected to rebuild my life with the scraps of what’s left of society that has radically changed in the past 5 years. It’s very difficult to reenter society as a ex-caregiver because there’s no resources online, and resources available are those assuming you have a large inhertance given to you. I have no motivation to live, no desires, and the interests I used to have are just chores. Chores to make sure that people who knew I was struggling for years, see that I’m still alive and I have not ended it my life. Aniem conventions, tv shows, anime, films, games, they’re all chores that I do so I won’t have to think about ending my life because my future no longer exist.

The only reason I’m not dead is because my parents would be upset, the people who know me but don’t contact me on facebook or whatever will be upset.

Even people I know, suddenly turn into social landmines because of something I did that I was out of my control, and already one of my convention exhibiters became a social landmine immediately. I didn’t knew she was going to turn into a landmine because all the years I’ve could have developed social skills was diverted to being a unpaid therapist to my long-unemployed mom. It’s simply not fair that I have to pay for this for the rest of my life for things too many people proudly take for granted.

I have too many things I wanted to do: It’s not a bucket list but a Dead List: Things I have to do before election day 2020, everything that I wanted to do before my life was stolen when I was forced to caregive for five years. After Election Day 2020, I’m done. I don’t belong in a society that has become unsympathic to caregivers or those pushed out of the lifescript or it has become polarized politically polarized. And I don’t see a future for American society other than a dystopic hellworld that I’m not equipped for and there is no future for me other than existing day to day just experiencing a dystopian hellworld that I have no interest seeing because I already know how 2020 will end and no one will believe me. If I was not forced to caregiver, I would not be worried about this, I would be more than prepared, but for me I have no interest experiencing a dystopia so that others won’t be upset.

I wanted to post this on tumblr so bad, but I had no energy to write or type this out or to post because the motivation is simply gone. While I’m back in school, all I’m doing is building more debt.

As for this Christmas? I spent it alone, I’ve only called my parents to say merry Christmas and see how they were all doing including my autistic brother. And the only thing I ate is a large baked chicken I’ve bought two weeks ago that I didn’t had the motivation to eat until today. And someone had to audacity on Reddit to insist I have a merry Christmas, even though I expressed misery.

I even didn’t had the energy to promote my gofundme because I simply don’t have a celebrity that can help me. Because in this day and age, unless you know someone that can help or have gobbs of money there is no way out of poverty.

So yeah a person with autism who has his life destroyed by caregiving, and no relative or friend or loved one to spend time with on Christmas. More proof that ex-caregivers are worthless to society despite how “noble” and “admirable” they are. But not noble enough for society to help them when they’re done caregiving and when isolated and alienated.

-------

If for some unknown reason this post blows up:

https://gofundme.com/help-jkid-get-out-of-debt/ - That’s my gofundme

https://www.paypal.me/Jkid4 - my paypal

https://cash.app/$Jkid - My cashapp

https://www.patreon.com/Jkid - My patreon for some unknown reason people are interested in what I’m doing as a hobby.

#spending christmas alone #Happy Holidays #autism #depression #poverty #disablity #developmental disablity #caregiving #ex-caregiving #ex-caregiver #saveJkid #foreclosure #CPTSD #presents #christmas presents #social isolation #social alienation #social security #social services #rant #random thoughts #christmas #bucket list #hellworld #hell world #unemployed #Gofundme #patreon #cashapp