#my art is getting so vent-y and i'm not sure how to feel about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thomotomo · 4 months

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Hi! Hope you're having a good day! I'm the same anon who requested the love triangle of Faker x reader x Keria, my fixation for League and T1 came stronger than ever this time, my mind only thinks about faker, I just can't help it. TT

Maybe I'm projecting myself in this one, but like...Faker with a reader who is studying arts and like, although the reader loves what he does, he can't help but feel anxiety and sadness cuz, you know, it's very difficult to live from being an artist. I just know Faker would hug and comfort us and tell us that everything will be fine. :(

This is probably too long lmao, but I just needed to get it off my chest! Have a good day/night. <3

A/N: Heya anon! Thanks for trusting me with your request again hehe 🫶 I sooo feel you on only having Faker on your mind, I totally relate lmao- I was fast to write this one hehe (it hit veeeery close from home for me too lmao) I hope you'll enjoy it~

You didn't knew why you started feeling this way. You had always been so sure about the path you wanted to take but now the only thing you could do was worry. Maybe it was the fact that this was your last year in school and after that you'd be thrown into the wild west of adulthood and job hunting and you were scared of that?

You were deeply in love with what you were studying, even if it was hard at times with all the deadlines and such but you were really interested in your domain, it had been hard to push for your parents to allow you to study in this field. After all it wasn't the most lucrative nor recognized path, even though it had became widely accepted lately it was still hard to make a proper living out of it and talking about it during meals with your family was a risk to have a ton of judgement from them. So you couldn't vent your frustration and sadness to them whenever you met up and it was weighing heavily on your mind.

You stepped inside your apartment putting down your bag at the entrance and took off your shoes. You headed into your room and laid face down on your bed, you felt very empty and very stressed. The anxiety was slowly creeping up on you. You stood up suddenly and decided to take a look at all the drawings you had made throughout your college years, your favourite photographies looming over you and an immense dread was filling you as you looked at each of these - your- art pieces. You had always loved looking back on your growth but right now, they all looked so ugly.

And so, your mind could only criticise all of the mistakes you were seeing. You couldn't help but get the urge to destroy it, after all was it really worth it? You wouldn't be guaranteed a living right out of college, you probably wouldn't make enough to live a comfortable life unlike office workers and yet it was the path that you were headed in, you were really into it but your mind was filled with doubts, what if you couldn't find anything? You still had to pay your bills somehow so most likely you'll have to find a full time job in a shitty supermarket and then you'll just be too focused on making money to try to pursue your dream and you

You were so engrossed in your downward spiral and panic that you hadn't heard Sanghyeok coming back. He stepped into your bedroom and as he saw how much you were engrossed into your panic, he sat down next to you and gently took your hand in his.

"(Y/N)-ah? Are you okay?"

You looked at him with wide eyes, his face softened as he watched your eyes filling with tears, you sniffled and put down your sketchbook. Sanghyeok picked up and put it back on your table, and seated again next to you, the two of you had already spoken about this and your feelings towards your future work area but he had never seen you in this state before.

"I'm sorry.", you chuckled between two sniffles.

"Don't be it's okay. Do you want to speak about it?"

You didn't say anything and just shook your head negatively. Your boyfriend wrapped an arm around your shoulder, trying to give you with the best of his abilities, a hug. He gently pressed kisses on the temple of you head. He knew what you felt, the uncertainty of the future and of your career, he had felt the same multiple times throughout the years and he knew that reassurances didn't always help but he was here, and support was probably the best thing he could give to you.

"Don't worry too much right now. I'll be with you every step of the way okay?"

You nodded quietly, wrapping your arms around his waist, nuzzling into his neck, trying to calm yourself down. Sanghyeok's warmth was already making you feel better, you were already quite clingy usually but when you were in this kind of mood it was even worse. The older male was gently patting your hair as your hiccuping slowed down and you got your head out of his neck, using one of your hands to swipe away the tears. Sanghyeok looked at you with a small smile on his lips, you still looked very adorable even after crying, and well, he had brought back some of your favourite meat to cook.

"I have everything to make you donkatsu, would you feel better if I do that?"

Your eyes shined in excitement as soon as you heard the word "donkatsu". Sanghyeok chuckled and stood up, bringing you with him, the two of you headed to the kitchen and you watch as your boyfriend started to work on your food. The two of you were discussing, some quiet music playing in the background, calming your nerves, you helped him into making the sauce and the rice so the two of you could eat quicker, despite Sanghyeok's protests.

When the meal was ready you took a seat on your couch and you couldn't help but admire the food and observe your favourite man bringing back chopsticks and your preferred soda. Sanghyeok looked at you curiously, his lips being turned up in a cat-like gentle smile.

"Thank you for being here for me Hyeok..."

"Of course jagi. Here eat and ease your mind."

He took a piece of the meat and fed it to you making your cheeks flush slightly, making him grin. The two of you ate in a very comfortable silence and once you finished the meal you both cleaned up the plates and Sanghyeok laid down on couch opening his arms to you. You chuckled and laid down on him, breathing in his scent.

"I know you're worried about the future but as I said I will always be here for you. I know what you feel and just as you're supporting me, I'll support you."

Your heart swelled as you listened to him talk, and your arms tightened around him. Sanghyeok gently kissed the top of your head, soothing a bit of your anxiety away. You laid there, listening to his heartbeat, which definitely helped you calming down and made you drift away into a nice sleep.

#male reader #male reader insert #x male reader #faker x male reader #lck x male reader #t1 x male reader #t1 faker #t1 fanfic

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seakicker · 2 years

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me when literally everyone else: mmf yes so hot so sexy,,,, stretch marks? scars? moles? love it love it love it FUCK so sexy! I love love love tummy and boobs and big boobs and small boobs and boobs that are perky but also boobs that abide by gravity and boobs that spread out and I love love love chub and thick thighs and cellulite fuck it’s all so sexy I love I love I love I love feminine men I love big masculine men I love it all

me when myself: god I’m so ugly why

It could be because I’m trans especially because there’s good days and bad days but damn I hate parts of myself I KNOW I would drool over on other people. I draw people with my exact body type and lust and lust and lust and then I try to indulge myself and draw self-ship art but. I feel like I’m ugly or that the character I’m with wouldn’t like me EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THEY WOULD? Maybe it’s a confidence issue maybe it’s my dysphoria but that other anon talking about their experience with their commission and asshole artist reminded me of this damn dilemma. I love y/n fanfic so much cause it’s easier to forget myself and what I look like in the first person but damn. I hate myself in art and photos so much and I don’t even know why. Sorry if u didn’t really want to hear this in ur inbox lmao but ig this is the best place to vent into ahah

—⌚️

hello my sweet, thank you for coming to me and pls dont feel like you should apologize for venting here, it's part of what i'm here for and i like being able to listen. ik lots and lots of people, formerly myself (and still me on some days) included get that "i love my features on everyone else but hate them on myself" because i think that's just the nature of insecurity-- you feel like other people are "doing it right" or that things just look better on other people than they do on you. it's much easier to hold yourself to an impossible standard like beauty standards than it is to hold other people to the same standards, if that makes sense... any good person will know to not judge others but that doesn't stop you from judging yourself, you're your own worst critic. one thing that always kinda comforted me is knowing that i've never actually seen myself-- you only see yourself through mirrors and pictures but that's not really you, your camera doesn't capture real life dimensions and everything is flipped in the mirror, that sort of thing. you never see yourself, at least not in the way you look at other people, but i'm sure if you could see yourself through someone else's eyes (as the ol saying goes) you'd be surprised how fine/attractive/wonderful you look to everyone else. i can't comment on the dysphoria aspect so i can't offer any advice as far as that goes, but i think knowing that i'm not alone in my insecurity has always helped me so i try to remind other people that they're not alone in their insecurity too. the things that i don't like about myself are only because i'm my own worst critic and bc i hyperfocus on my flaws rather than the things i like about myself, and i think that's how it goes for a lot of people. but the things you like about yourself are more important than anything else!

another thing that's helped me is following models/influencers/etc that have my body type and similar features as me, ie thick eyebrows and a lil toothgap, and unfollowing models/influencers that i struggle with comparing myself to. your internet experience is yours to curate and there's nothing wrong with unfollowing models that you can't help but compare yourself to; it doesnt mean theyre a bad person or bodyshaming or anything, just that they may not be healthy for your experience and that's alright! so maybe that could help you too. i wish u the best of luck and i thank you for sharing your feelings with me; i think you're wonderful no matter what and i'm happy to be a place where you feel comfortable sharing your feelings and fantasies!

#i luve u #chats #⌚️ anon #tw insecurity

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an-asuryampasya · 2 years

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[venting into the void]

screammm. It's been two weeks and I still don't really feel like I've properly accepted this master's program I'm doing. Sure, I'm attending classes and stuff but I keep catching myself feeling it's all a bit unreal, and not in a good way. In a 'hmm this was a fun experiment, I'm ready to go home now' kinda way. Sort of? I really don't know how to describe it. But I just. Don't know if this is it. And that is Not Fun because getting here was a pain. Choosing to walk away from engineering, or my dad made sure to impress upon me, "wasting my seat at one of the country's best universities that could've gone to someone who would've at least done justice to the seat and been more deserving of the heavily subsidised education you received" was not a decision I made easily. I really wish I made it knowing WHAT I wanted to do instead, and not this nebulous idea of "something in the arts". I know it was a decision I made at the time since it felt the only way I could stay sane, but aaaaaaaah I really wish I had had something more concrete to base it on.

I can just walk away from this degree, but I really wish I wasn't even contemplating it. I won't drop out, because I'm a coward, but sweet fuck how I wish I didn't even want to. I don't even know what I'd go towards anyway, so might as well do this I suppose. Aaaaaah how I hope I feel more excited about this course soon.

I hate it here. Hate /everything/ about this stupid place. Delhi can go die. I mean the sheer number of museums and historic buildings is very nice, I'll give it that, but that's about the only thing that's even passably nice about this stupid place. fuck, within a week it managed to make me feel comforted by hearing sodding Tamil just because it was a language other than fucking Hindi for once (nothing against Tamil, the cussing is because it really makes no sodding sense to be comforted by a language even more alien to me than Hindi. I know Hindi but don't know a lick of Tamil and yet I was ready to CRY when I heard full sounds and not the aborted consonants (in Hindi you'd say Shiv as opposed to Shiva, etc.))

I don't get it though. I never felt homesick during my undergrad, despite that being a much longer stint outside of home and when I was much younger. Heck, I never even imagined I'd miss Telugu in the first place, given how fucked up my relationship with my own language/culture is. And YET. Took less than a week over here to get me, someone who's already used to living away from home in a land with very different languages and culture, to want to cry because I just wanted to freely be able to say the Telugu equivalent of "my foot" when something annoying happened. It's messing with my brain because I still don't feel comfortable with Telugu and yet I crave it and I don't know what to make of that. I suppose it's nice that since literally nobody around me knows shit about South India (no really, they know NOTHING, can't even tell whole-ass states apart) I can be more telugu-y than I usually feel comfortable being because there's no one around to make me realise how bad at being telugu I am? Like I can gush about pickles without fear because no one will know what basic knowledge about them I lack. I can actually explore how I like presenting myself when there's no one around to test how Well I am doing at being Telugu. And I guess that's sorta nice? I find myself writing in Telugu far more now when I'm writing random stuff to stay awake in class, because no one can judge my shitty handwriting or realise that I don't know how to write some pretty basic stuff in Telugu. Turns out I like some things about being Telugu after all and I feel both joyful and abject despair at this discovery. But whatever, that's something I can work out in time, as I learn to be more forgiving of my past self.

But for now I don't know if I want to continue this course. And it's the first time I /chose/ something entirely on my own and had to really pigheadedly push to get here. So it's terrifying to regret my choice now. Where would I go? And who do I have to blame except my own useless indecisive self. But I don't know how I feel about this place. Hate the city, am not reassured by the university, and the course content isn't exactly blowing my mind or even making me sigh in relief at how different it is from engg. On the contrary, I'm wondering if I should've just stuck to my plan of doing concrete tech - at least that I actively enjoyed to a significant extent.

I may have made a pretty big fucking mistake, aaaaaah. I desperately hope I feel differently soon.

also delhi sucks so much.

#placeholder tag #rhys if you're seeing this mayhaps look away because I am Not Ready to have this conversation and make it more real yet #also it's long and you'll anyway get a more dramatic version when I finally get around to acknowledging these thoughts properly #and need to sound off with you #but for now i'm still hoping it's just teething troubles with my new degree

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taikova · 4 years

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i am my monster

#steven universe #steven quartz universe #steven universe future #corrupted steven #kaiju steven #su future #taiart #digital #i am my monster #su fanart #su spoilers #angst #my art is getting so vent-y and i'm not sure how to feel about it #it's the isolation p sure

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im-a-gaymess · 3 years

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How do I tell him?

Young!Tom Riddle x Male Reader.

7th Year.

Angsty Fluff? Contains suggestive/smut scenes.

Slight mention of violence (Just Tom wanting to punch the stupid out of people).

Summary: You and Tom are in love with each other, always were, though you only realize it after ending a pretty toxic relationship.

Word Count: 1786

A/N: I thought of this while listening to Strawberries & Cigarettes thought I'd share

[1:42 AM]

"Look, I'm not saying that I want their attention 24/7, it's just that, well, they don't ever try to make time for me. Even when I need them, they're never here. But I'm expected to be there for them at all times. I'm just so tired of it. I don't know what to do anymore." You sighed, lowering your head as your eyes wander around the ground.

You've lost sense of time, place even. Only once you stopped to take a breath did you note how late it became. As you raised your head you saw how dark it really was there. The clouds over the stars making their light nearly non existent, and the moon half hidden behind some trees.

And as your eyes travel all over the quiet, dark yet beautiful sky, Tom's attention is strictly fixed on you.

If only you knew how much that man felt at the moment. Really, he was almost overwhelmed with the amount of different emotions.

For one, how badly he wanted to punch your partner for how deeply they hurt you. He knew, from your previous vents, that there was so much more than them just having no time that bothered you. He wanted to make them cry out apologies with regret guilt for how they made you feel.

But also, he couldn't help but feel the need to hold you, keep you close to him, tell you how everything's going to be alright. How all he wants to do is protect you from all of the world's evil, to keep you from anything that could cause you harm.

Without you even noticing, Tom gently put his hand over yours, rubbing circles with his thumb on your hand. How can someone be so,, so endearing,, so loveable and be treated this way? How could someone ever look at him and want to use him? he thought, not brave enough to bring himself to tell you what he truly thinks of you.

"You know you deserve better, right, my love?" he asked, and you, all too familiar with the pet name reply with a little smile. "Would you be surprised if I said yes?" you chuckled, turning to face him, the sight of the boy in front of you making your smile grow a little bigger, causing the other to look at you with loving eyes.

"I still love them, though, I don't even know why, but I do. I still hope they're going to change, even when I know they won't" you continued, a short, awkward laugh leaving your lips.

"Believe me, sweetheart, I know exactly how that feels." he smiled at you, gently stroking your face with his free hand as the two of you continued to talk about everything, and anything, enjoying the company you gave each other.

[Following day, 4:27 PM]

Who knew that drawing in the library's restricted section would be so relaxing? Sketching animals, book covers, objects and even some random fellow housemates. It wasn't so bad, right?

But let's be honest, you were only using it as a means of distraction, trying to get yourself to forget about the fact that you're going to break up with your s/o. You don't even know how Tom managed to convince you.

Of course, it's for the best, you know that. Doesn't change the fact that you feel so damn guilty about it. I mean, why do you even? It's not like they value you, it's not like they won't have other people lined up to take their bullshit right the moment you decide to leave.

Okay, that's it. You're doing it, you're definitely doing it. You mumbled to yourself. After, of course, another art session in your little distraction place.

[5:54 PM]

What's the worst that can happen if I confess? I mean, it's not like the world would end, not like the world would explode and I'd be buried underneath layers of rock and lava.

You had him feeling something he's never even imagined he'd feel; he was nervous. His forehead full of sweat, causing his hair to stick on to him. What are you putting him through?

Friendship...That's all I am to him. I'm just a friend to [Y/N]. He only sees me as a friend. Nothing more than that. Maybe I shouldn't. I probably shouldn't.

[6:11 PM]

To his surprise, Tom heard a knock on his door. He most definitely wasn't in the mood to see, yet even talk to anyone.

"Tommy? My love, are you in there?" You questioned quite loudly, making sure to be heard from across the wall.

That petname, you have no idea what it made him want to do. Did he want to have you underneath him, touch every little bit of your body? Did he want to show you that you're his? Hear you whine and beg for him to kiss you; and so, so much more than you could imagine.

It's not the time to get lost in such sinister thoughts, Tom, he mumbled to himself, finally walking over the room to let you in.

"Hello, darli―" before he could finish, you rushed into his arms. Wrapping your hands around your friend's waist as your head rested under his own. "I missed you all day, dummie" you spoke quietly, finally happy to spend time with him.

He was quite surprised to say the least, you weren't the type to enjoy going for any type of physical affection of any type, unless it was under certain circumstances. Especially the hug being so long.

He wasn't complaining, he adored it, but he couldn't help but worry. Was something wrong? Were you hurt?

"Love, as much as I enjoy moments like this, is there anything you need to tell me? Should I kick anyone's arse?" he raised his brow, looking down at you.

You shook your head, never letting go of the taller man, a smile appearing on your face. How cute he is when he's worried, you thought.

That's pretty much how the rest of the day night went. The two of you in each other's embrace, spending it in utter silence, just glad to be in your own little world together.

You told him, before going back to your dorm, about how you finally broke up with that douchebag, and was your man proud.

The couple next days, weeks even, went by quickly. You and Tom would hang by the library after classes to complete and give help with what the other might have been stuck on.

Tom walks towards you, so dangerously close, you can practically feel his lips on yours. A hand's glued on the wall next to you, right above your head. Your body pressed against a door, his knee right in between your legs, brushing against your crotch. His other hand pulling you closer by your waist, soon planting kisses all over your jaw and neck. You can't help but melt into his touch, his lips- you just want more, more of him.

You gasp, practically jumping up your bed. It was only a dream, wasn't it you thought, sighed in slight disappointment. You wouldn't like to admit it to yourself, but you've been thinking about Tom in a certain way lately.

That only made things worse for you. Because according to you, he would never see you that way. Because the way you saw it, Tom only ever thought of you as a friend.

And so thought he. He was just as disappointed every time he'd dream of the two of you being intimate, romantically, sexually, it didn't matter. He was just as devastated when he woke up. Always went back to sleep hoping those wonderful dreams would go on.

Both of you had a few dreams like those. Some were a whole lot sweeter. Dates together, just the two of you softly making out with the sound of classical music in the background. All of this causing the two of you a bittersweet feeling, thinking that all of this was just hopeless dreams, impossible to come true.

════════════════════

Starry night, you and him, the lake, the full moon shining bright. There's nothing that could ruin this delightful night. It feels like a dream, so much that you even question the reality of what's going on.

"Is this...real?" you ask Tom, not taking your eyes off the sky you so dearly loved. He raised a brow at you, looking at you in a clearly confused expression.

"If it wasn't, we'd be doing more than just stargazing, love" he chuckled, really hoping you'd take it as a joke.

"What would we be doing then, darling?" you question once again, mocking the way he calls you petnames while at it, a visibly evil smile painted on your face.

Tom takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, turning to face his pretty boy. "Do you really want to know, [Y/N]?"

The usage of your name kind of, just a little bit, frightened you. Not in a necessarily bad way, more like in a 'I have no idea what to expect next' way.

"What would you do if I kissed you?" he smirked at you, feeling oddly confident, though your silence and shocked face slowly faded. He was about to mutter apologies 'till you let out a mumble. "I'd like that" you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

"What was that, my prince? Would you kindly repeat that for me?" he told you with a straight face, making you wonder if he truly didn't hear you. If only you knew the amount of pride he felt at that moment, barely four words and his mind wandering to so, so many things he knew the both of you would like.

The shade of your cheeks changed a bit, was it from embarrassment? Or from the idea that he may actually like you back. Either way, you did repeat what you had told him, blushing even harder as there was an ever-growing smile on your face.

Soon enough, Tom sat up, leaned against a tree nearby. Motioning on his lap, he asked you to sit there, and happily you did.

You've never seen him smile like that. He looked at you like you're the only person in the world. His hands firmly on your cheeks, slowly pulling you in.

Your arms instinctively went around his neck, tilting your head to the side in order to deepen the kiss.

Once you pulled away to take a breath, his hands rested on your lower waist, his eyes staring at you lovingly as they always did.

"You know I'm no good with words." you looked at him exactly the way he was looking at you; you were truly each other's everything. "I know, my prince" his hand wandered around his loverboy's hair, soon pulling him in yet another kiss.

He knew he loved you, and now he was sure you loved him too. Only thing is, he wasn't sure how to ask you to take over the world with him, but for now, he was happy with what you had, and so were you.

#i loved the process of writing this #I feel like Tom would really treasure the person hes in love with #harry potter x gender neutral reader #harry potter x male reader #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle #tom riddle x gendernatural reader #tom marvolo riddle #writing #scenarios #tom riddle headcanon #harry potter #hogwarts #harry potter fanfiction

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 3 years

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COLORS, PART 2

*Smutless

Before I even look at anyone else's work, I reinforce sharp lines and darken the darkest areas on my painting with blue tones and deep browns. I'm working on organic matter, a bouquet of flowers and it requires trusting my eyes. I can't paint in the way that feels good, I have to be precise for realism.

"Much better," Yaya nods and I smile having not noticed that she was standing behind me watching. "After one class too and no one told you anything," she adds.

"Imagine if I got some real feedback."

"Mr. Peters," she calls gently to the professor who comes right over. He's young and cute with locs and a septum piercing. A little kooky, but loved by his students and eager to help.

"How can I help you?"

"Criticize Meg's painting. What's she missing?"

"Honest critique," he asks and I nod. "Beautiful but it doesn't give realism. You left no room for the halo effect around the outer petal and your red leans too brown, that part is pink," he points the mid-petal. Black is not an outline color, retire your black completely. White it not an outline or highlight. Also that flower petal would have a tiny amount of speckling realistically. I'd typically use a toothbrush and splash with the bristles, but do what you can.. Keep going, you're doing so well."

"Gee thanks..." Looking at my painting with fresh eyes, I need to start over. I know I can do this way better and I'm excited to try, but I don't have the time. I have to suck it up and finish this current painting.

"What did Kellan say about your work of art last week," Yaya asks suddenly. "Could he see a difference in your technique?"

"I told you Kellan don't give a damn about my techniques or my skill level. He doesn't have an eye. He sees paint on canvas and to him it's finger painting."

"So you ain't show him. Is that because of the subject of the painting?"

"You mean the big black dick? Maybe. He's not..," I don't wanna sound mean but, "He don't understand art. He wouldn't see it how we see it. If I show him that painting he's gonna it's pornographic and then he'll think something that ain't true and I don't feel like dealing with that."

"Doesn't sound like you're compatible."

"You were just caping for him last week," I glare. "You should pick a stance."

"Oop! Well how about I'm not caping, I thought I was helping you look at things a different way because you can be harsh."

"Harsh? Because I see how things are and I tell you? You don't accept it until you repeat it. Then you wanna act like you told me something new. That's one thing that drives me crazy about you."

"I can think of more than a couple things about y-"

"Okay y'all ruining the energy in this room," Francis' voice rises. "It's a beautiful day today, sun shining!"

It is.. We're all painting the same thing today and Yaya's looks better than mine again, but I can see why and how and part of it is her colors. They aren't muddy. "Use more paint," she says reading my mind. "Don't be scared to use it up. Then when you want to mix in a tiny amount of a new color you have more to work with, less paint stroke, less mud."

"I can't wait to start this over or paint something else," I say plopping paint on my picture. At this point I just want it finished. "I'm gonna paint my mom's houseplant at home soon as I get there."

"Mama," I call through the apartment wondering if she's in her room or maybe the bathroom. I can't find her anywhere. "Where you at ma," I yell before calling her cell. She picks up on the third ring and who do I hear in the background? My boyfriend loud and clear laughing.

"Who's that," he whispers suddenly. I could scream. Who did he think?!

"We at Friday's what you want back?"

"Back? Ma.. Y'all really went to eat without me?!"

"Oh girl hush."

"Why was Kellan at the house and y'all ain't care to call me? That's aight.. I'm coming now."

"Megan, chill," Kellan cuts in.

"What? You don't want me there?"

"I ain't say that.."

"Tuh! Look nigga. This between me and MY mama so you can butt outta this one."

"HEY," she snaps but she's cut off.

"I'm just tryna know mom a bit more. I'll see you when I bring her back," Kellan says. "Love you," they say in unison. The call drops and I'm left staring at my phone screen. I didn't even get to tell them what I wanted from there.

Grabbing the keys to my mom's car, I go there anyway and I look from the door once I'm inside to see if I see them sitting down at a booth or at the bar, but they're not in there. Curious, I sit in the car and call again.

"Y'all ain't even get my order before you rudely hung up. Before y'all leave Friday's can I get the chicken and shrimp?"

"Yup," she says.

"How's the food, y'all been there a while."

"I'm not gossiping about you if that's what you asking," she mumbles and I roll my eyes wondering what would make them lie to me.

"Nevermind. I'm a let y'all enjoy each other's company without me," I snap hanging up. I go into the Fridays and get a free chicken sandwich and when I get home I start painting. I use every tip to create something that looks like I didn't even paint it, that's how good it looks and I'm only half done when mom and Kellan mozy through the door laughing with mom holding a food bag. "Is that my food," I ask.

"Yeah, lil girl, take this bag and gone."

Kellan laughs and tries to kiss me on the forehead but I move and ignore him until he gets the point.

"Seriously..," he kisses his teeth and I take my stuff to my room, closing the door. I'm close to breaking up with him.

"And then they lied about where they went that's what really pissed me off," I seethe squeezing the hell out of my Sprite. It's a vending machine and student lounge day. Yaya has McDonald's that she got her other friend to bring her.

"Take half these fries." She dumps them on a napkin. "Maybe they went to a different Friday's."

I glare. "No, Yaya."

"Okay then they lied. What you gonna do about it, dump them both?" She squeezes ketchup on her fries and I grab the other pack.

"No just him. I don't want to, but he's really irritating me with these mommy issues and he doesn't think it's a problem."

"Alright so dump him. Maybe you can go for that model guy. What's his name?"

"I don't wanna just dump him though, you don't get it. I want to because he's pissing me off but then again I don't want to because I do still like him. I just want him to take me serious and stop!"

"But he hasn't and you know he won't.. so NEXT. What about that guy?"

"Erik? I don't know what to think about him and I don't need to trade one issue for another one if you feel me."

"You only spoke to him twice, maybe if y'all had an actual conversation.."

"You saw how that went when I tried."

"He was doing a job, what did you expect? Him to stop and talk to you the whole time?"

Nah.. Just most of it. "Besides when would I run into him again, those two times were by chance." The gallery showing comes to mind. I took the brochure from COLORS when I went and the event starts this Friday and lasts the weekend. Slim odds of catching him if he goes. "Anyway, I'm just venting to you. Not asking for instant solutions."

She shrugs sipping her drink, simple as that.

"So I'm going to the gallery event Friday night if my mama lends me the car."

"And there it is," she smirks from around her straw. "You act like you don't need my advice but in the end you always take it."

"Shut the fuck up," my face cracks. I wanna mean mug but my lip keeps twitching.

"That's why good things happen for you."

"Anyway.. If he's there I'll get at him. If not, I'm enjoying the gallery so win-win."

COLORS is transformed when I walk in. Paintings line the walls and I decide to start from the left and walk my way around the entry room. They did well balancing the crappy canvases with the icy ones. They're all landscapes. Grassy hills with ponds and windmills or trees. Oceans meeting the sky. The Savannah. Dirt.. Rain.. Storms. The topic changes with every room or space. When I get to the sip & paint room, it's human portraits. If I had known I could submit mine, I would've. Still, it's fun to look at everyone else's. I see April's name next to a painting of a guy, not Erik, but a different model. I wonder if anyone else submitted their work.

Moving onto the next cluster of portraits I see a tall beanie from the corner of my eye. Turning, I'm shocked to find my ulterior motive for coming standing eight feet away from me, staring at a portrait.

"Erik," I whisper getting his attention and he does a double take. He hadn't noticed me. "We can't keep meeting like this, just say you want me," I joke rubbing my palms together. He loves it, he's smiling as he comes over to my side draping his arm over my shoulders.

"Where's your painting," he asks now scanning the wall for it.

"At home. I didn't know we could submit them for this, I surely would have." I really would have, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't know.

"Aw, I wanted to see it.. I showed you mine..," his eyes twinkle flirtatiously. He really is a troll.. but not better than me.

"And it was (chef's kiss)," I tease watching humor briefly flood his eyes. "I'll bring my painting to show you but when would I see you?"

He thinks about it. "When you coming by COLORS again?"

"Rather than a drive-by why don't we just paint one night?"

"Aight," he nods. "Say when. I have classes, but when I'm free.."

"What school you go to?"

"Brandman.. You know it?"

My face gives it away. Of course I know it, that's Kellan's school. I wonder if they ever met.

"What program?"

"General Business."

That's Kellan's program.

"You know Kellan?" I'm on edge right now.

"Yeah I know Kellan, wait.. you hisss- ?"

"Girlfriend," I fill in the blank and he nods letting go of my shoulders. In this moment I wish I were single. This just got awkward.

"Look," he sighs. "I don't want any negative energy surrounding me, my karmic energy is pure as of now.. So please don't take it wrong that I can't meet up with you in good conciousness."

"We can't.. be friends?" I shrug. I sound crazy right now.

"We can, but nothing beyond. No flirtation," he stares laying down the law. I get it. No line crossing.

"That's all I had in mind," I smile, a lie on my breath. If he smells it he doesn't call it out. "What's your contact, we can link and paint. I'll still bring the portrait."

He gives me his number and we part ways, him moving on to enjoy the exhibit while I move in a different direction to do the same. I don't notice when he leaves, I only notice that I haven't seen him. When I leave, I call my mom.

"Bring my car," she says. She leaves almost as soon as I get there so I call Kellan to come over.

"Hey baby," he greets squeezing my cheeks at the door like I'm five. I don't like that because my older brother used to do that before he moved. I stare as Kellan goes in the fridge for juice like he lives here.

"Why can't you kiss me like a normal boyfriend? I don't understand."

"What? Aw, come here. Big baby." He gives me a bear hug planting his lips on my forehead which isn't much different to me, but whatever. I'm tired of talking about it. I pull him to my room and push him to my bed. Of course he doesn't fight me, he just falls and lets me climb him. "You feeling frisky huh," he grins. I hate that word. My hand goes directly over his mouth.

"Don't talk." The more he talks the more turned off I get. He double hand smacks my ass and it helps, I'm back into it. We makeout until he moves me from on top.

"Left the condoms in the car. Be right back."

"Man hurry up," I yell after him and his clumsy ass knocks over my painted canvas which was backwards for a reason. He gets a glimpse and does a double take, stooping to pick it up and look at me. Here we go.

"What's this," his eyes go back and forth from the painting to my face.

"What it look like?"

"Who is this?"

"Don't start that, it's a model. I painted that last week. I also painted that self portrait," I point, "Those plants," I point again, "That fruit bowl." Neither of which are paintings he cared to see. I'd have shown him.

"Whose dick is this and why you painting naked men, was you in the room with him?"

"The room?"

"Here.. or his place?"

"Are you dumb? That's not how it works." He looks like I'm lying, his side-eye trained on me. "This is why I can't share my art with you, you either don't care or you judgy. I don't like that."

"I don't like you drawing dicks and thinking that's cool. You had to really focus on it didn't you? Did you like it?"

"Oh my God," I'm regretting calling him over now. If it's not one issue with him it's another. "It's ART. You don't see like that as an artist. It's purely interpreting and recording the human form."

"But you ain't deny it.. You liked looking at it."

"What is wrong with you? I'm not doing this with you, I don't have to explain myself." That fast I'm over it and I want him out. "You can go. I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."

"You want me out so you can call this nigga," he mutters. "Who is he? I know him. He looks familiar."

He's staring at the picture so hard I decide to tell him. It's not like I have anything to hide. "He's an art model. Me and my classmates went to COLORS, a sip & paint where we all created these artworks.. and as it turns out you do know him. He goes to Brandman."

"I knew he looked familiar," he mutters still staring at the picture.

"Yeah, he said he knows you. Decent guy. I told him I was your girlfriend. Very respectful." He looks up at that and I roll my eyes. I shouldn't even be explaining. "You know, you could come to COLORS if you're that concerned."

He sits my painting back down and rubs through his mass or curly hair like he's stressed. I don't understand why he's so bothered by this, but I knew it would happen. "When," he asks.

"I'll let you know. In the meantime, goodbye because I'm tired.. of this conversation and your nonsense, I knew you'd trip over absolutely nothing."

"Nothing looks like a whole lot that I ain't fuckin with.. I bet ma don't know about this."

"GET OUT." I all but shove him out the door. I'd dump him right now if I didn't think he'd attribute it to Erik. Also Erik would think I did it because of him. I have to wait. I should've just dumped him back when Yaya said something. I don't even wanna go to COLORS anymore because all Kellan will do is ruin the vibe.

From the time Erik came through the door, Kellan has been acting up and saying lil slick shit that Erik's been graciously ignoring. It's embarrassing! Luckily I warned Erik about Kellan ahead of time so he knew what to expect. I, however, was somehow still caught off guard.

Moving his brush across the canvas, Erik's focused face is one worth painting. "You have to have an artistic bone in you somewhere Kells.. Eeeeveryone has one thing.. they can do artistically."

"Nah. I'm not artistic and I don't care for it outside of Megan's art."

"Hm," I mutter so only Kellan hears it. He doesn't care for my art either, but I keep that to myself and work on my painting. It's a guided paint night where we all paint the same picture, a star fall over snowcapped mountains and steep water valleys. I peak at Kellan's painting. "That's a cute mountain, you know if you use your brush and stipple you could get some texture." Taking a brush, I dip it in a little paint just to show him what I mean.

"You gone paint it or me," he says, so I put the brush down and let him do him.

"Small world.. How y'all meet?"

"We kept bumping into each other," I answer though it was addressed to both Erik and I. "Rest is history."

"Where and when did y'all bump into each other?"

Turning to Kellan, I mouth 'stop' because he's about to make things awkward AGAIN. I wish I didn't invite him, but I thought he'd chill if he saw there was nothing going on. Erik's been trying to be chill the whole time but I see the irritation. "I'm sorry you got wrapped up in this," I apologize as he tries to make it look like it's no big deal.

"Don't apologize for me," Kellan blurts with silence following. It's so much negative energy.

"So Erik.." We need a subject change. "How good is that model money? I may be interested."

"No you not. You'll do no such thing," Kellan stares, daring me to oppose. It takes me right back to being irritated.

"Don't tell me what to do Kellan. You ain't ever did that before I don't know why you think it's cool now.. Anyway.. How is it," I ask Erik again.

"You get a lil something, it depends. Ask me again in the winter."

"Oh no, stick to the warm weather I got you!"

"You ain't got shit. Ma would kill you," Kellan blurts.

"You mean MY mom would kill me? Mine?? I'm grown.. What are you talking about," I glare.

"You grown until ma beat that ass. That's broke hoe activity, getting naked for people. Call it whatever you want, you're still showing your body. Male or female."

I pause. "This from the nigga fuckin me in my mama's house?.. Try again. And call her ma one more time, I'ma sleep you. I keep telling you stop acting like we siblings. It's weird. I already have a big brother and you are not him."

"You salty. Don't bring up personal issues in public, that's a me and you situation."

"What the! I'm about to-" I wanna slap this blue paint on his face. "I can't do this." I drop my brush and grab my bag. "I gotta go, Erik, I'm sorry and I hope we can still be cool. If not, I get it. Completely. I'm out though."

Kellan follows me out. "You forget we came together?"

"Nah you did. What the fuck was that in there," I point to COLORS. We're in the parking lot. "You had to embarrass me, didn't you?"

"So I'm an embarrassment."

"Take me home," I snap jumping in the passenger seat of his car. When we get to my building I get out and slam the door. "I'm done. We're over, don't call me don't at me."

"It's because of Erik, ain't it. You wanted him that's why you creating problems with me."

"It's because of yo ass! I tell you the same thing all the time. You don't care, you don't listen. You ain't interested in nothing I'm interested in. You won't even try and tonight doesn't count because the only reason you came with me was to embarrass me. You were rude as fuck for what? Jealousy? He barely said two words."

"Bet you can quote both though." He looks so smug.

"You ain't hear nothing else I said."

When I get to the apartment, I look at the painting I meant to show Erik. I left it in my room because Kellan wanted me to give it to Erik for him to keep so I couldn't look at it.. As if I sit in my room lusting over painted dick. Either way, I wasn't about to give it up, it's portfolio material. Kellen can go.. if anything.

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #colors

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taephilia · 3 years

Text

eau de parfum

(5) citrus: eau de parfum | masterlist | prev - next

pairing: kim namjoon x fem!reader (feat. an annoying jeon jungkook)

genre: fluff, college au

word count: 1,868

warnings: swearing

summary: namjoon always lets you borrow his clothes and you're beginning to wonder if he does it on purpose

a/n: it's been a while since i've last posted for this series but i'm finally bringing it back! and on my new blog as well! the citrus couple still means so much to me so i'm very happy to be writing for them again and i hope you all love them as much as i do.

Goosebumps rise along your skin as soon as you enter the library, the cold air a nice temporary relief from the summer heat but you know that in 5 minutes, you’ll regret not bringing a sweater with you. You usually bring one with you on days that you need to hunker down in the library and concentrate but you woke up late and in your rush to get to class, had left your hoodie on your desk chair. Well, really it’s Namjoon’s hoodie but it’s too comfortable to give back to him yet. You honestly can’t even count the amount of cardigans and sweaters and shirts that he’s let you borrow, only to get them back a week later—and that’s if you’re not feeling particularly attached to that article of clothing.

A part of you feels guilty for basically having a quarter of your closet made up of clothes you’ve taken from him but every other part of you relishes in the fact that Namjoon is letting you wear his clothes. You thought you were dreaming when he had let you stay the night at his place a few weeks ago but whenever you get a whiff of his scent from his clothes (laundry, plants (“Petrichor,” he would correct you), and cologne), you’re reminded of waking up beside him in his bed. You remember how warm it was beside him, how you could just reach out and touch him if you really wanted to; you didn’t because that would’ve been weird but you could have. Namjoon just has that effect on you. You find yourself thinking about love and relationships quite a lot when you’re around him and it takes all of your self-control to pull your gaze away from him, to push the butterflies in your stomach down, and to calm the rapid beating of your heart.

While making your way to your usual spot (the second floor near the art history section, at the table with chairs that are like mini booths), you contemplate texting Sooyoung and asking her to bring the hoodie to the library for you. You know that she’s home, she should be waking up from her mid-day nap right about now, but just as you reach for your phone, you shake the thought away. If you invite Sooyoung here, even for something as simple as dropping off a sweater, you know that she’ll distract you for at least an hour and you desperately need to get work done. So you quickly rub your hands up and down your upper arms and bring your feet up to the chair, hoping that you’ll be able to conserve more body heat by curling up.

Just as you feel like you’re making some progress, someone taps your shoulder to get your attention. But before you can even turn around to look at them, they’re already making their way around to the seat opposite you and dropping their things on to the table. With furrowed brows, you pull out one of your earphones and are about to give this stranger a piece of your mind when you hear a very familiar laugh.

“Got ‘em,” Jungkook laughs as he flops into the cushioned chair, his posture making it look more like he’s lounging at home rather than doing work at the campus library. “Hey (Y/N).”

“I don’t recall you asking me if you could sit there,” you point out while reaching forward to steal some chips from the open bag he set down. You raise an eyebrow challengingly when you see him about to protest.

A sigh leaves his lips and he stands up. “Do you mind if I sit here, (Y/N)?” Jungkook points at the chair that he was just occupying and you have to hold back the laugh that threatens to bubble up. He looks just like a little kid, the little pout on his lips almost making you regret your teasing reply. Almost.

“I do mind actually,” you reply with as straight of a face as you can muster. “Please don’t sit here.”

“Wh- Why not!” His lower lip juts out even further and that’s enough to get you to crack a smile.

Jungkook sits down once he sees the teasing smile on your lips, pushing the bag of chips towards the middle as a silent offer to you. You plug your earphone back in and go back to doing your work but you can’t help but notice your friend glancing up at you every 5 minutes. After about the tenth time of catching him staring, you sigh and give him your attention once more. “Jungkook, I can tell you want to talk to me but I’m trying to focus right now. Give me half an hour and then I’ll take a break. And then you can tell me all about your new volleyball trick or show me the new video you made for class or whatever it is.”

Jungkook bounces in his seat a little at the promise of having your undivided attention soon, teeth on display as he grins widely at you and says, “I actually wanted to talk about this new anime that I’m watching that I think you would like. But since you brought it up, there is a new volleyball trick I learned that I wanna-”

You put your earphone back in once more and turn up the volume, not even letting Jungkook finish his sentence before pointedly ignoring him. You’re halfway through your assignment for your ‘Sensation and Perception’ psychology class when you see Jungkook wave his hands to try to get your attention. He taps the table and even taps at the back of your laptop screen when you don’t immediately flick your eyes up to him and when you finally rip your earphones out and glare at him, he shrinks back in his seat.

“Jungkook, what did I tell y-”

“Uh hey, (Y/N).”

When you turn to find the source of the voice that did not come from Jungkook, you’re met with the boy who’s been on your mind for weeks now—the boy you just can’t seem to get out of your head no matter how hard you try to.

“O-Oh hey, Joon,” you greet him, a shaky smile on your lips at how embarrassed you feel for snapping at Jungkook. “What are you doing here?”

“My usual spot is taken and you told me you have a lot of work so I kinda just hoped you would be here.” There’s a slight blush on Namjoon’s cheeks as he rubs at the back of his neck, eyes flicking over to Jungkook who has his eyebrows raised as he looks back and forth between the two of you. You realize in that moment that Jungkook hasn’t met Namjoon yet, you haven’t even really told him about him, and he’s definitely going to give you shit for it later. “I wasn’t expecting you to have company though so I can just go if-”

Before you can even open your mouth to protest, Jungkook is already clearing some space for him. “No, of course you can sit with us! Any friend of (Y/N)’s is a friend of mine. The name’s Jungkook, and I’m guessing you’re the Namjoon that I’ve been hearing so much about from Soonyoung?”

Your eyes widen at that. Of course she’s been gossiping about me to Jungkook, I should’ve known better. He always knows how to get her to talk. Jungkook’s eyes meet yours from across the table and when he gives you the shit-eating grin you’ve become all too familiar with, you grit your teeth and force a smile back before turning to Namjoon. “Yeah you can sit with us, Joon, it’s no big deal.”

Namjoon nods and thanks the both of you before sitting down, immediately plugging his headphones in and getting to work. The one thing that you’re grateful for is that because Jungkook doesn’t know Namjoon, he won’t act out as much as he would if it were just the two of you. Your body relaxes at that thought of relief and you go back to your work once more, not even noticing that an hour and a half has passed until you feel a chill run down your spine. You glance up at the air conditioning vent only a few feet from your table as you run your hands up and down your arms. The thought of texting Soonyoung crosses your mind once again but before you can even glance at your phone, there’s a tap on your knee as Namjoon holds up a sweater to you.

“Here, it’s kind of cold in here,” he explains as he places it in your hands. His pen is spinning in his other hand, a sure sign that he’s nervous, and you wonder just exactly what Namjoon could be nervous about right at this amount. Is he embarrassed to give you his cardigan? You’ve borrowed plenty of his clothes before, you don’t see why-

Your gaze meets Jungkook’s once again and you realize why Namjoon is nervous. Jungkook’s eyebrows are raised as he watches you accept the cardigan and shrug it on, blatantly ignoring what he’s trying to silently insinuate to you. You can see the gears turning in his head and you subtly shake your head at him, pleading with your eyes to not embarrass you in front of Namjoon. But of course, one of Jungkook’s sole purposes in life is to embarrass you (at least, that’s what it feels like). So he opens his mouth.

“You know, I was wondering where (Y/N) had suddenly got all of these new clothes from,” Jungkook muses, eyes going back and forth from Namjoon’s blushing face to your downturned eyes. “And it turns out that they’re not even her’s! I swear, half of her closet must be made up of your clothes, Namjoon.”

“Hey, I’m not stealing!” you argue. “I give them back!”

“After like a week,” Namjoon points out.

Your head whips over to glare at him but the annoyance you feel at him taking Jungkook’s side fades when you see the hints of a fond smile underneath his small smirk. You lean back in your seat and huff, putting a headphone in to signal that you’re going to start working again. “Whatever.”

“It’s fine,” he shrugs while looking over at your friend. “I don’t mind that she takes them because they always smell good when she gives them back. What’s the detergent that you use, (Y/N)? I like the citrus scent.”

Jungkook practically chokes on his chips at Namjoon’s words, feet kicking yours under the table while you feel your face heat up. You can’t even bring yourself to say anything and your heart feels like it’s about to jump right out of your chest. “That’s not detergent,” Jungkook rasps after gulping down water, tears still in the corners of his eyes. “That’s her perfume.”

“Oh.” The tips of Namjoon’s ears are red. When he turns to look at you, you see his Adam’s apple bob. “Well then I guess I’ll just have to give you more of my clothes.”

Kim Namjoon will be the death of you.

bonus:

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mewfromshadows · 2 years

Text

Art news

So, uh, hello everyone, how you've been doing?

It's been a while since an actual post here. Well, I've been getting the occasional comment on my Twitter asking about art. Tickle art more specifically. Someone or another essentially requesting that I post some tickling art soon or wondering when I'll put up that sort of content.

The thing is, though, I actually don't know when my next tweet of the sort will be. I think there are a few reasons why, and I must say I'm not entirely consistent with them either, so bear with me for a moment.

The number 1 reason is that a fair amount of what I've been working on is either personal, non tickly projects, or they are more private. Stuff between friends or to be shared on some Discord servers I'm in.

Sometimes I'll feel inclined to upload it to Twitter but then comes another... concern. I've got people of different age groups and interests following me and even though I'm fairly sure a good chunk of my viewers do share similar interests with me there's a portion of them, including friends, who do not. And I don't always know if I want to be putting more fetish-y content on my main or save it for my alt account.

Again, I'm not always consistent with this, like for example last October when I uploaded art on both main and alt accounts, but I think it's safe to say it's rarer for me to post tickling unless I find it more cute than kinky. I even try to avoid liking other art on the main account because of how much Twitter loves to share what your peers are doing.

With that said, while it didn't happen very often, the occasional comment has made me a tad upset. Especially because the reply was added to unrelated posts, some of personal venting nature and I wanted to address that.

So if you're following me expecting tickling artwork, well, I'm afraid I can't provide that consistently. So please don't ask me about it, when will I next post about it. It will come whenever possible, but I do have other things to attend to as well.

#jbtalks #about art #tickling

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lesbiansouplol · 2 years

Text

New Beginnings, Chapter 4: The Edges.

I'm back with A new chapter after forever.

Warnings: Angst, Parents f*ghting, mentions of al*ohol, physical and emotional a*use of a child, dysfunctional family dynamic. Soooo Virgil isn't having much fun.

Summery: We catch up with our favorite dad character after a very successful first day of class, but he has to de-escalate a situation before he can start the second one. Meanwhile, Virgil and his mother have a meeting with Principle Sanders.

Word count: 1,724

Last Chapter: https://lesbiansouplol.tumblr.com/post/669526670548549632/new-beginnings-chapter-three-a-stroke-out-of

POV: Switches between Patton and Virgil.

(Patton POV)

After all the kiddos left, I started cleaning up the classroom. I couldn’t explain how excited I was if I tried. All the students were great! And I was really surprised by all the LGBTQ kiddos I had. It was amazing to start to get to know them all. I was looking through all the signed sketchbooks and putting them away, checking off every student

A few students stood out: Talyn, Joan, and Lux were my only Non Binary students (That were comfortable stating their identity to the class), and while Talyn and Lux had a fun cartoonish 2D art style, Joan was more comfortable with realism, and had chaotic notes around all of their sketches.

Remy Grounds made sketches of bedrooms in different styles, and I made a mental note to ask him how those relate to the project.

Emile Picani was drawing himself in art styles from a bunch of different cartoons; I noticed Steven Universe, Adventure Time, and Avatar: The Last Airbender Styles immediately.

Remus Duke was the only one to cause trouble, but I’m taking the blame for that since I never explicitly said everything had to be family friendly, and I approved the red coloring. It was sad to throw his sketches away though, the skill was absolutely there, and everything was drawn in amazing detail… I just almost wish it wasn’t.

Finally, at the bottom of the pile I saw an unsigned sketchbook. It was almost hard to believe that it was drawn with one pencil by one kid. It looked like it was professionally drawn; it was a gruesome monster with black goop-y stuff dripping from its empty eyes. It looked build-wise by a wolf-bear-horse thingy but with talons instead of its front two feet, and on its back I could see a giant scar, like its wings had been torn off. I tried to remember who drew this, when my mind went back to the boy that had to leave halfway through. Virgil?

I knew when he walked in that he was panicking. Anxiety was something I dealt a lot with as a kid. The world always seemed really overwhelming and hard to understand. It wasn’t until my late teens that I realized I had some sensory issues and had been venting through art.

I put Virgil’s sketchbook on my desk. His name wasn’t on my list, so I would just talk to Principle Sanders about it tomorrow morning, there was no way I was letting this talent go to waste.

(Virgil POV)

I had a panic attack on the way home. About halfway there I stopped skateboarding and just sat on the curb, letting the waves take over everything.

No matter how many tears I cried, the waves were relentless. There was no way to get the feeling out, even involuntary reactions just weren’t cutting deep enough, and all I could do was wait until I had enough control to push it back down again.

I don’t know how long I sat there, crying, watching cars pass. I assumed it was a couple hours, because when I finally got home, my parents had already started.

“This is all your fault! He got it in his head that he can do whatever he wants- You taught him that!” I heard my mom screaming through the front door. “’Sure, Virgil! Doesn’t matter what your mom said, do whatever you want!’ You undermine everything I’ve ever tried to do, and no matter how many chances I give you, you throw it in my face.”

I carefully opened the door, and tried to get in without making any noise.

“Look, I don’t remember ever saying anything like that.” My dad tried.

My mom scoffed. “Of course you don’t remember, I guess it’s not important to you, is it? Well it’s important to me! It affects me, and you don’t even care to fucking remember.”

My dad was staring at the floor, looking as small as a grown man could be. My mother, despite being on the other side of the living room, was clearly towering over him. “I’m sorry, I can talk to him and get everything-“

“Oh, no you won’t. I’ve given you chance after chance, It’s time I stood up for myself and stopped letting you ruin everything. I’m sorry I care about our child where you have proven you don’t want to have anything to do with him.” My mom laughed cynically through tears. “I’ll talk to him, and I guess I have to go to his school tomorrow too, since I have to do everything myself around here.”

I made my way upstairs, hoping to get to my room before my dad realizes the circles she ran him in and grabs a drink.

My mother was silently glaring at everything the whole drive to school. I was staring out the window of the car, just hoping that if I didn’t start a conversation then I could avoid screaming and crying. And I wish that was an exaggeration. I knew anything could push her off the edge, even staying quiet for too long, but I’d rather push my luck than start something I didn’t want to finish.

We pulled up next to the curb and my mom got out and started walking to the doors without a word or a glance in my direction. I followed her, lagging behind a bit as the other students started showing up as well.

We made our way to Principal Sanders’ office, but my mom stopped before opening the door.

She finally looked down at me, and spoke with quiet intensity. “Virgil, we are going in, sitting down, and I don’t want to hear a. Single. Word. Out of your smartass mouth, okay?” she said, landing a knot in my throat as I just tried to stay calm without showing that I was struggling to stay calm. “I’m going to attempt to clean up your stupid mess, and we will talk about what you need to do to make it up to me when you get home, understood?”

I nodded, and she opened the door to the office, sending me one last warning glance to remind me that she didn’t want to be here.

(Patton POV)

I finished setting up my classroom for my second day, and with a bit of time left to spare, I took a few pictures of some of the most impressive sketches from yesterday and went straight on over to Principal Thomas’ office, and maybe convince him to sent a few more paintbrushes our way for next months plans.

When I got there, I could hear a kind voice I didn’t recognize. And I would never condone eavesdropping of any kind, especially in a professional setting… but I did hear a few things through the door, and I definitely didn’t want to interrupt, so I waited.

“Thank you so much for paying so much attention, I’m so sorry Virgil caused so much trouble, but rest assured, my son will work his very hardest to improve. And I’ll be helping him every step of the way.”

“I’m so glad to hear that.” Principal Thomas said. “I hope you both have an amazing rest of your days, and Virgil, my doors open if you ever need anything. Mrs. Storm, I don’t doubt your abilities in the slightest, but if you ever reconsider, I have a great tutor just waiting for a chance to help out.”

“That’s great to know, but my son prefers figuring things out by himself, I just know he’ll feel much better about his work if he just puts his mind to it.” Mrs. Storm stated firmly.

And just like that, the door opened and a middle aged woman looking far more annoyed than her voice gave away through the door walked into the hall, not noticing me as she practically dragged her son out of the office by his wrist.

He stared at the ground and she pulled him closer to her, and said some not very child-friendly words when describing him.

She squeezed his wrist tighter. “What the hell was that look you gave me? I’m trying to help you!” she spat quietly. “You think I want to be here? I would much rather be at work than digging you out of your own -CENSORED- . Are you even hearing me?”

Virgil nodded, still staring at the floor. “I am. I’m sorry.”

His mother scoffed. “Yeah right, I’m sure you are.”

As Mrs. Storm started digging her nails into his wrists, staring him down, I got over my shock and realized I had to step in.

I stepped up to them. “Heya, Virgil!” I said, thinking of the next thing to say as I watched his mom drop his wrist. “How are you this morning? Everything go alright?” I nodded towards the office door.

Virgil only stared back at me, so I shifted my attention to his mother, putting my hand out to shake hers. “My name is Patton Heart, I’m the new art teacher, and I have to say, your son is amazingly talented! I would not be surprised if he came from a long line of professionals.” I smiled.

She smiled back. “Oh really? I didn’t even know he had any artistic pull. That does explain a few things now that I think about it. Say, I don’t remember Virgil having any art classes?” she looked accusingly at Virgil.

“Oh, he wasn’t on my roster. He popped in for a few moments yesterday, I think he got a little lost, but never mind that. He’s more than welcome to take more classes if he wants.” I reply, and then I looked at my watch. “Well, I should really talk to Principal Sanders now; classes should start here in a few minutes. I hope you have great days, the both of you!” I said, and watched Mrs. Storm nod and walk to what I can only assume is Virgil’s first period class, once again grabbing him by the wrist. Virgil was staring back at me as he left, a new light in his eyes that was painfully familiar.

I entered the office and took a second to go over what I had originally planned to say, before I sat down with a smile on my face, ready to pitch my plans, and see what funds were available.

#ts fanfic #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanfic #ts virgil #virgil sanders #sanders sides virgil #virgil #patton sanders #ts patton #virgil angst #sanders sides fanfiction #highschool au #angst #fanfic #fanfiction #slow burn #adoption au #New beginnings

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radiorenjun · 4 years

Text

I Don’t Need It

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Masterlist here!

• Chapter: iii, iv

"Hey Jaemin!" you exclaimed, bumping your shoulder against his teasingly as you manage to catch up to the poor boy. Jaemin sighed before turning to you with a soft smile, "hello y/n."

"So how are you today?" you asked, shoving your hands into your hoodie pockets as you walk side by side in the halls during recess. Jaemin felt his blood boil at the sight of you, after the day he had, he just didn't feel like dealing with your nagging.

"Y/n, I’m-" Jaemin sighed heavily before he felt an arm wrapped around the two of them, his good friend, Haechan stepping in between the two. "If it isn't my favourite couple!" the boy chirped, his bright smile lightening Jaemin's mood.

"Hi Haechan!" you giggled, ignoring his arm laying lazily around your shoulder. "How are you two doing in this terrible school day?" he grinned. "Just amazing." Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Looks like Nana here is having a bad day," Haechan used his hand that was swinging against Jaemin's shoulder to pinch the boy's cheeks.

Jaemin clenched his fists, "Hyuck, I-" Jaemin took a deep breath before being interrupted once again by the obnoxious school bell. Jaemin groaned internally, feeling Haechan's arm sliding off of his shoulder quickly before bolting away from them with a short "oh shit."

"Wow, not even a goodbye." you muttered with a chuckle before looking up at Jaemin who's expression looked grim, eyes cold and emotionless and his usual smile nonexistent on his beautiful face. "We should really hurry to class, Nana." You tugged on his sleeve as students ran by the two of you, only to have him jerk his arm away from you harshly.

Your eyes widen slightly at the action, his eyes not meeting yours. "You go on without me, I gotta meet Coach bout the next game." he mumbled. "Um, okay." you bit your lip nervously, "you want me to tell Mrs. Choi for you?"

"No, thanks." Jaemin replied dryly before walking away from you. You felt sadden as Jaemin walked away, starting to walk the other way to class. This was usually what you're looking forward to everyday. That one subject where you both had the same class at the end of each day.

It's not a big deal, he just gotta talk to Coach. He is the captain now that Mark graduated. He's got more things to do now, you shouldn't be so sad at his success.

You apologized to Mrs. Choi on being late to class which she just waved off before telling you to sit down. You sat down on the empty seat next to Huang Renjun, the Chinese student who moved in a few years ago, who was also one of your close friends.

"Hey Renjun," you waved as you drop your bag on the table. "Good to see you, loser. Why aren't you sitting next to Mr. Captain of the Football Team?" Renjun chuckled, not sparing you a glance as he fidgeted with his brand new watercolor set under his desk as to not get caught by your teacher.

Renjun was in the arts club with you, that's basically how you two met. The day you met was a truly iconic moment in your friendship, which ended with you accidentally shoving the end of an acrylic paint brush into his mouth.

"He got some things to discuss with Coach, so he couldn't make it to class." you pouted, crossing your arms on the desk as you began to write down whatever your teacher was explaining on the whiteboard. Renjun looked around class, now noticing that Jaemin was nowhere in sight of the room.

"I'm so glad to be your second option, y/n." he said spitefully, earning a poke on the temple by the end of your pencil. "Hey," he gave you a death glare. "Shut up, Huang. If he didn't reject me so much maybe I wouldn't be this desperate." you muttered, writing down sloppy notes at the speed of light.

"Oh please, even if Jaemin accepted your love, you wouldn't even spare a glance at anyone but him in this whole room til Mrs. Choi actually makes you sit next to me." Renjun rolled his eyes with a heavy sigh, putting his watercolour set in his bag before turning his head to copy the ones he hasn't written.

You sighed, playfully poking his sides in retaliation, causing the taller boy to flinch at the contact. "Speaking of that, it's been-what? Three years? And you're still going strong?" Renjun asked in disbelief. "Three- It's only been two years Renjun." you chuckled.

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes, "but like, how are you still going strong with the countless amount of times where he would reject you all the time?" he asked again. You felt a slight pain in your chest at his words, your mind flashing back to Jaemin's cold demeanor a while ago.

"Jaemin's just really stubborn. Why are you even questioning this now?" you tried to play it off with a smile, forcing out a small laugh as you gripped your pencil tightly, trying to make your mind focus on what's being written on the board than focusing on your stubborn soulmate who kept rejecting you.

"Yeah I know, but it's been two years, Y/n. Two damn years. I admire your determination and all but are you ever gonna just give up?" he questioned. You felt your heart sank at the thought, you wouldn't know what to do without your soulmate.

Everyone told you that being with your soulmate always made you feel whole, with butterflies fluttering around your stomach and your heart would feel like it was raised up to the clouds in heaven like a bird sparing through the sky.

The euphoria when your skins touch, the same exact feeling when you and Jaemin were casually hanging out. Deep down, the dark part of you knew that he was gonna get sick of you sooner or later. Yet you still had some hope left lingering, hoping that things would turn out otherwise.

You closed your eyes for a brief moment, trying to calm your thoughts as you slowly unclenched your death grip on your pencil. "Shut up Renjun," you flashed the boy a forced smile, nudging him with a teasing look before going back on your notes.

But to be honest, you don't know if you could continue paying attention without your mind wandering around.

"You okay?" you asked when you got in the passenger seat of Jaemin's car, shutting the door to be meet with a very dark and grim Na Jaemin with his eyes not gazing away from his phone. You knew something was up.

You and Jaemin lived literally next door to each other. Ever since Jaemin got a brand new car for his birthday, he couldn’t help but offer you a ride. “Fine.” he spoke in a monotone voice. He started the engine with a twist of his key, not sparing you a glance as he started driving.

“You sure?” you asked after a pregnant pause, “you don’t sound or look fine.Did something happen at practice?” you added. You could see Jaemin’s fingers tightening their grip on the steering wheel. “I’m fine.” he muttered once again, but nonetheless your stubborn self didn’t want to leave him alone. His happiness was your happiness, after all.

“You know we could just talk it o-” you said before flinching at Jaemin’s bold yet sharp tone. “I said, I’m fine, y/n.” he huffed with a roll of his eyes. “I’m just having those days, just drop it.” he added without meeting your eyes. You stared at him for a brief moment, raising your brow at his tone.

You clicked your tongue before taking off your seatbelt causing Jaemin to turn his head to you for a small moment before looking back at the road. “What are you-” he spoke before he watch you move to the back seat and press both of your hands on his shoulder above the seats, pressing your fingers down on his clothed skin. Jaemin let out a soft groan at the contact, feeling his body relax.

“You’re clearly not fine. So let’s just talk it out and relax.” you smiled, trying to keep your balance on the moving car. “Y/N, sit down. What if you-” Jaemin interrupted himself with a relaxed groan as you dug your fingers on a sore spot. “Shut up and tell me bout your day, you dumbass.” you chuckled. Jaemin sighed in defeat, focusing on the road and the calming sensation of your palms digging into his shoulders.

“It’s nothing, really. Coach just gave me a big talk bout the responsibilities of being team leader, and the risks I have to take since it’s our senior year. And we’re gonna have tryouts for new members next week and I’ll have to be there, too. Everything’s just piling up into one, not to mention the exams, assignments and practice every two days.” Jaemin sighed.

You hummed, nodding as Jaemin continued to vent out his emotions to you as if you weren’t the same girl who was constantly bugging him everyday with your undying love confessions. It felt as if you two were sixteen again, before the whole soulmate problem came up. “I get it, with Seulgi graduating, someone has to be the president of the art club. Everyone wants me to be the leader but I don’t think I’m ready.” you nodded in understanding.

Jaemin smiled as you spoke,”but like, sometimes you gotta take up responsibilities when they’re given to you, you know? We just gotta do our best and start taking slow steps at a time.” you continued, trying to focus on massaging Jaemin’s shoulders. ��Thanks, y/n.” Jaemin chuckled softly, his heart warming up, knowing you got his back no matter what. “I’m glad you always got my back.”

“Of course I do,” you smiled. “I am your soulmate after all,” you bit your lip nervously, you almost hesitated saying those words. You prepared yourself for the dark glare that was now peering at you through the rear view mirror, “Y/N...” Jaemin spoke in an exasperated sigh. “I know, I know. ‘Y/N, you know this more than anyone in the whole world, I don’t want to have a chosen soulmate, or any at all. I want to fight against what fate has in store for me.’ I heard you say this a gazillion times, Nana.” you giggled, mocking his deep voice dramatically.

Jaemin let out a small giggle, shaking his head profusely as he felt your fingers disappear as you crawled to the front passenger seat beside Jaemin once again. He watched you hop on to the passenger’s seat, clipping your seat belt on. He bit his lip as he recalled his tone early, feeling guilty slightly at his previous actions.

Soon he let out a small smile, doing a u-turn to head to your favorite diner. “Whatever,loser. You want to get some smoothies?” he offered with his charming bright smile, pupils shining bright once again that you could feel yourself fall deeper for this boy. “Do you even have to ask, Mr. Captain Of The Football Team?” you giggled.

Jaemin laughed, shaking his head at you. “One hour,Y/n. One whole hour. That’s how long I left you at Mrs.Choi’s class to sit beside Renjun and now you’re becoming him.” Jaemin jokes, poking your sides teasingly. “Imagine what would’ve happen if I left you with him for a whole day, alone.” he hummed curiously.

“Shut up, Nana. You know very much I rather be left alone with you,” you winked, causing Jaemin to roll his eyes at you. “Do I really need to reject you again? I’m sure you have my whole speech perfectly memorized in that brain of yours.” he chuckled. You felt your heart sank once again at his words,but nonetheless you maintained a bright smile on your face. “Who knows? Maybe you finally fell for me,” you grinned.

“Stop dreaming, Y/N. That’s definitely not gonna happen.”

#na jaemin #jaemin #jaemin x reader #I don't need it.#NCT #nct angst #nct dream x reader #nct dream jaemin #nct dream x you #nct dream #nct x reader #nct x you #jaemin angst #jaemin x you #nct jaemin

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contrabandhothead · 4 years

Note

Hello! Could I get a Ship? I'm 5'8, Brunette with big blue eyes and I'm very pale. I'm athletic but also kinda curvy. I adore cuddling lol. I'm a very shy and quiet person at first but open up once you get to know me. I'm kinda the Mom of my friend group. I'm a good listener and will help you with any of your problems the best I can. Lowkey not good with showing emotion lmao. I also love Art and History. :))))

Floyd Talbert

by god is this an iconic ship-

THE CHEMISTRY-

i’m sorry but i just thought of something and now it’s canon... Floyd totally calls you sapphire i’m so sorry he’s so cheesy

IF YOU’VE EVER SEEN THAT SCENE IN ARISTOCATS WHERE THOMAS O’MALLEY SAYS TO DUCHESS “boy, your eyes are like sapphires” YOU’D UNDERSTAND WHERE I’M COMING FROM BECAUSE THAT IS LITERALLY FLOYD @ YOU

a n y w a y s

floyd thinks you’re really pretty

like i’m talking like you could literally barely glance at this man and he’d be swooning

it’s kind of comedic at this point how whipped he is for you

once he stared into your eyes for a few minutes.... he thought he was being romantic by admiring your eyes, you thought he was being a creep, so you threw water at him

it’s what he deserves

he likes how curvy you are too

it literally wouldn’t matter what body type you have anyways, if Floyd thinks a girl’s beautiful then she’s beautiful

he doesn’t mind how shy or quiet you can be, he can carry enough conversation for two people by himself

it’s a very good thing that you enjoy cuddling because Floyd needs to touch you like ALL THE FREAKING TIME

it’s getting ridiculous

hand holding, arm around the waist, spooning, etc

he likes to be the big spoon because he likes to bury his face in your neck

Floyd likes it when you becoming more talkative around him, it makes him feel special and like there’s a side of you he gets to see that no one else can

Floyd likes that you’re a good listener because he knows that you’ll always be there for him when he needs to rant, but sometimes he worries and wishes you would vent to him as much as he does to you

your relationship with Floyd isn’t all peaches and cream though

Floyd wears his emotions on his sleeve, while you tend to bottle up/conceal yours more

he gets frustrated that he doesn’t know what your feeling or if he’s doing something wrong in the relationship, and that is the primary cause of most of your arguments

nevertheless, you and Floyd always make up at the end of the day

Floyd will never go to bed with an angry s/o and that’s on periodt.

Floyd likes taking you to art and history museums because he loves to see how your face lights up when you step into the exhibit

he literally hates museums but he’ll never tell you that because he enjoys them when you’re there

he’ll also always hype up your art too

how you two met

you were apart of Easy Co., and naturally, being the only woman in the paratroopers, you were a prime target for random men to flirt with

and it drove you nuts

Floyd Talbert was one of the worst though

every single day, he came up with a new shitty pickup line, and by god were they awful

if the man told you you were the cat’s meow one more goddamn time...

it wasn’t the worst thing you had to endure at Camp Toccoa

Floyd was more of an annoying gnat buzzing too close to your head that you just couldn’t seem to swat away

Floyd on the other hand, was confused at to why you weren’t reciprocating his advances

he was so hell bent on getting you to like him, he thought you were amazing

besides, couldn’t you tell that he was interested in you?

well, Luz informed him that maybe you weren’t aware because he flirted with literally anything that walked

after Luz whipped him into shape, he started being more helpful and polite to you

always holding open doors for you, making sure no guy was being too mean, always inviting you to sit next to him during lunch, etc.

you were confused as hell the first couple weeks, until you realized that this was his way of getting you to realize he liked you

however, you weren’t gonna make it easy for him, and neither were Luz and Perconte

they were basically your gremlin children, and you were their mom

they made it so hard for Luz to get close to you, even physically

they’d always purposefully sit next to you, always joked about dating you, etc.

and ngl.... Floyd was getting a little jealous

so jealous, in fact, that he started planning a massive plan to ask you out

one day, as you walked into the barracks to find your missing PT shorts, you caught Talbert stowing away chocolates and a historical novel underneath his bed

Floyd jumped, clearly startled as you began to talk, “ya know, you could just be normal and ask me out.”

Floyd rose to his feet, briskly walking towards you

“Is that an invitation?”

I’m so so so sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoyed this, I had a little too much fun writing it. Anyways, have a lovely week! 💕

~ Ky

#floyd talbert #floyd talbert headcanons #band of brothers #band of brothers ships

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