#my grandfather on my mom's side passed away today. he was what we call a Controversial Figure (he was not a nice man)

[scare-ard--sleigh]

not to be earnest on main but um ,,, Something Happened ,,,,

#silver jelly #my grandfather on my mom's side passed away today. he was what we call a Controversial Figure (he was not a nice man) #im not sure he even knew i was out. i haven't talked to him in a lot of years. #but its still weird and im feeling really weird about it but i keep making these like gallows humor jokes bc shdhsjdj #i don't????? know what to say or how im supposed to feel ???? #dude was in his 90s and my cousin and aunt were taking care of him and i feel so bad. and i feel bad that i wasn't really there #but i Never thought even when i was younger that he wanted me there bc he didn't really like nana and she was like my 3rd parent #and wow this is hard! this fucking sucks lmao! feeling kind of weird in this chili's tonight !!

[casketscratch]

Trying so hard to remember today already.

- Woke up full-blown panic mode, shaking and breaking down crying, my entire left arm wouldn't stop shaking. Can't remember what the dreams were.

- Therapy was good. Went over how I broke down crying the moment we hung up last week, and generally the sense was that someone's trying to communicate or integrate a bit more. Something about our system isn't made for this to happen. It turns into levels, and layers of memories that will a common emotional thread but otherwise feel just scattershot or random. We've figured out that this alter trying is scared to, because they are "held in place" by...

- This terrifies me, but by an alter who was installed by our traffickers/my grandfather to keep the rest in line. I think this means the whole... I hesitate to say ramcoa. But it confirms the, ah, narrative? Hunch? That they did deliberately try to program alters. And there are "higher ups" in charge we can't speak to but who seem to exert a lot of psychic/mental pressure if others act out of line. Felt like I had a javelin in my skull by the end of session.

- Used to have debilitating migraines that felt exactly like that when I left for undergrad. Almost failed out because I "wasn't supposed to be there" - my dad had tried everything in his power to keep me from moving so far away.

- (I really hope he suffered for failing to do so.)

- We also talked about the "pass out and collapse" thing we keep doing. That one alter will try to merge traffic (if you will) and at the same time she holds so much pain and fear and trauma that she can only cope with feeling that much by basically freezing. Freezing so hard it's a shutdown. I'd honestly call it a kind of flight to an inner world more than that (not that it can't be elements of both).

I... Don't... Like this. I am struggling with the scope of abuse. I am struggling with being right when I wish I had been wrong. I am struggling with trying to even conceive of how to manage this. It's been weeks of not trusting my own reactions because I couldn't tell where they came from, and now, uh, well. Some very powerful gatekeeper (not unlike Orion!) who's aligned with our traffickers (very very very unlike Orion) and would rather kill us than let us succeed in anything?

Sort of like how this group preferred my aunt to remain totally unsupported and to die homeless a few years ago. That's what I was supposed to get. Except they could never poison me against my mom's side of the family enough, so... I didn't become their next "sacrificial lamb" or whatever. That's what it feels like those "higher ups" push for. Sabotage, doubt, sow a lot of internal chaos, keep superficial but upsetting things too of mind.

I was so exhausted I've just spent the last like 8 hours in bed watching Dropout to feel better.

I don't really know where to go from here.

Started guitar yesterday though. Immediately remembered SO much and a dumpster fire of memory snatches with it, and I think this might be both pretty fun and a good way to connect with those parts from back then.

#system things

[inkedmyths]

[[So I just woke up from a Fucked Up Dream and I just. Yeah. Not 100% accurate to what I dreamed, mostly bc I'm already forgetting some details]]

Statement of Inked Myths, regarding the passing of an ill relative. Statement given June 18, 2023. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

---

Statement begins.

-

I wasn't supposed to be home.

That's the thing I keep coming back to. I wasn't supposed to be home at the time. If I hadn't been home, my mom would be dead. Maybe the rest of us would be dead too. I don't—

...I don't think I want to think about that.

Anyways. I guess I should start off with the background, first, right. You have to understand that first.

I live with my family. Well, my mom's side of the family. Sometimes I think it makes me a disappointment, you know. Twenty year old still living in the house. I try not to dwell on it, though. Did you know the whole "move out right at 18" thing only really became a thing in the 1950's? Same with the nuclear family model. It was a couple of decades worth of a fluke, a country wealthy enough that you could do that. Now, it's so damn difficult to make a living wage, and people still expect you to move out—

Er. Sorry. Back on topic.

So, yeah, I live with my family. It's me, my mom, my grandmother, grandfather, and...

...And my great grandpa. Or, was.

That last one, um. That's why I'm here today.

My great grandfather had been ill for a long time. So's my grandfather, but Grandpy was worse off. It's just, life, you know? He was so old, and you rarely get that old and stay in good health. So he just kind of sat around most days, sitting in his chair, watching television or reading or whatever it was he did to pass the time.

I– God. I feel. I feel so bad, you know? I barely know what he even liked. I just... like he was always just kind of there, in the background, and I never... never really talked with him. I had my life and it was going too fast to stop and just. Just talk. God, who knows how long that— that thing—

Right. Getting ahead of myself.

Point is, he was sick, and had been for a long time. We took care of him, as best we could. Not really qualified, since none of us are really caretakers, but. Well. Homes cost money, and the best one we could find was so far away, so. We did our best.

...He used to talk. Just, a lot. To anyone who happened to pass by his chair. Just, about anything. What he was watching, recent news, reminiscing about times gone by. Sometimes it was just nonsense. He just liked talking. My grandmother always said to try and listen to him, if just for a little bit. That he just wanted some comoany for a while. I was never— never the greatest, at sitting and listening. Just. Don't like sitting still, and it tended to be boring, and. God, I feel like an asshole. But I mean. We all tried.

It should have been a huge red flag, when he stopped talking one day.

I think... I think we all assumed it was a sign of his health taking another bad turn. That happens. One day they can chatter your ears off, the next they can't. Perfectly natural.

Life went on, but it was. Unnerving. He'd always been talkative. Always. And he stopped watching his television, so it was always silent down there now. It freaked me out, so I avoided the downstairs even more than I already did.

I wasn't supposed to be home, that day.

Last week, I'd gone to school, you know, as normal, but. God. Have you ever had a feeling of dread so, so awful, you feel actually sick? I thought my unease would go away, but it just. It stayed, evolved, and I just couldn't shake that gut-wrenching feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Mom was off early, so I called, and had her pick me up. Not that home felt much better but, god, I didn't want to sit through fucking pre-calc while I felt like this. I figured it was just a particularly nasty bout of anxiety. I don't usually get, like, the whole shaking and crying and having a hard time breathing panic attacks, but I do get, like. Deep bouts of anxiety where I can't eat and feel really jittery.

Mom picked me up, asked if I was ok. I just kind of, shrugged, said the anxiety was bad today. She nodded. Her phone went off. My great grandfather was calling. Mom groaned, and ignored it.

He'd been calling all day, she said. Asking when she'd be home. Over, and over. When would she be home?

In hindsight this is. God. I wasn't supposed to be home. He— no, it. It didn't plan for me being there.

So, we got home, and went up to our rooms, like we always do. I sat down for a while, tried to take comfort in more familiar, quieter surroundings, but couldn't. That feeling of dread just felt like it was growing, and growing, and.

You know, I just read the other day that it's a symptom of a heart attack. This overwhelming feeling of dread. That it's your body knowing something is really, really wrong, without being able to tell it to you specifically. I've never had a heart attack, but I imagine that feeling is probably not to far off from what I was feeling then.

I decided to go down and grab a snack. Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly jittery, it's just because I haven't eaten enough. So, I got up, and stopped by mom's room, asked her if she wanted something, and she said she'd be down in a second.

I turned away, walked to the top of the stairs and.

And was face to face with my great grandfather.

He was standing. He was on the stairs. He he hadn't— he hadn't been able to walk unassisted in— in years! He was standing on his own, walking up the stairs, in a way I'd never seen him do! It looked wrong. Like the slightest breeze should knock him over, like he should be shaking from the effort of standing. But he stood, like it was normal, though it was anything but.

The dread turned into terror when my eyes met— met it's. Because in that moment I knew that this? This was not my great grandfather. It was something else. Something pretending to be him. Empty eyes stared back at me, devoid of that little twinkle he'd always had, no matter what he was talking about. They were just... just empty, like glass.

I didn't even have time to scream. He— it lunged at me, grabbed me, and.

You know that thing in dreams, where you can't move or scream? Where you like, try to scream, but nothing comes out?

It is so, so much worse when it happens in real life.

I struggled, tried to break away, trying to scream. I couldn't. I could barely move, the moment it grabbed me. It was like it was... draining, me. Of my strength, my life even. I couldn't— I couldn't fight back. I fell backwards, wheezing, desperately trying to free myself, to scream, to hit something and make a noise. It's grip moved towards my throat, and there was nothing I could do.

I don't know if my struggle managed to make enough noise, or if my mom had just arbitrarily decided that was when she was going to get up and go join me downstairs. Or maybe she, too, had felt the same dread I had, and couldn't stand it anymore.

She walked out of her room to my struggle for my life.

I don't really remember exactly. I just know she knocked it off of me, and we both ended up downstairs.

And I know it lunged for her, next.

Free from its weird, freezing grasp, I ran. Fight or flight, and for maybe the first time in my life, I was choosing fight. I'm not a strong person, but, but that was my mom, she was in danger, and so was I, and. I ran into the kitchen, and grabbed a knife. Cliche, maybe, but what else was I supposed to do.

I ran back, to where it now had my mom in that same, awful grip. She was frozen, like I had been, unable to do more than try and not fall over, unable to shake it off as its cold, thin fingers dug into her arms.

But all its attention was focused on her. Maybe it thought I had run away completely. It's back was to me, and I had an opening.

I've never, in my life, killed anything more than a bug. Never gone hunting, never slaughtered a pig or whatever. Never really had the stomach for it.

I took the knife I grabbed, and without hesitation, plunged it into that thing's back. It plunged deep, like through sponge, a streak of blood spurting out. I guess it didn't have much substance. It just kind of... shuddered, squirmed a bit around the knife, and then it just... went still.

I didn't expect it to be that easy. Maybe it wasn't built to be stabbed, or whatever. With an ability to render someone imobile with a touch, other physical defenses aren't a priority I suppose.

My mother and I stood in silence. Then, realizing how this looked, I set about cleaning up. Not really, I mean, I was in shock, but I got the body out of the front entryway. Dragged it outside, back behind the house. I knew we had to properly dispose of it or something, but didn't know what else to do about it, for now.

Then me and my mom just kind of. Sat there, for a moment. And she said, "I should have known. He just kept calling, and calling, asking when I'd be home."

I wasn't supposed to be home. It had been planning on going after my mom, and wasn't expecting me. That had probably saved our lives.

The rest of my family came home, along with my uncle and his family. They'd been talking, apparently, about how something was wrong with my great grandfather, how he'd just stopped talking and they needed to figure out what was wrong.

Mom and I exchanged a look.

I don't know what she told them. I'd had enough for the day. I wandered back up to my room, closed the door, and collected myself.

I... I don't remember when exactly he'd stopped talking. That must have been it, right? When he'd been... been replaced? How long had it been? How long had we had that thing in our house, biding its time and waiting to kill us?

It's gone now. My uncle burned what was left of it. We haven't talked about it since.

I'm not sure I'll ever feel safe in my home again.

-

Statement ends.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say someone just walked in here and confessed to murdering their ailing relative in the midst of some kind of fit. I debated calling the police on this matter, but decided against it. I have some doubts as to whether or not it would be taken seriously, or, given our Institute's reputation, if it would be passed off as not enough evidence, if not outright a prank.

It does fit with the running theme of doppelgangers that I've noticed in several statements. I'm not sure if that lends it more or less credit.

There is... another reason, I did not call the police on this. I had Sasha do some digging on the family, to try and figure out which members were referred to, particularly this "great grandfather". As it turns out, the man in question was recorded as having passed peacefully in his sleep... 16 years before this statement was given.

Statement ends.

#tma #writing #is it fic if its based on a dream? i have no idea #so yeah waking up was a relief

[obwan110]

Family Ramblings

I was reading a story online about 100-year-old lady from Canterbury area, New Zealand, and she was reminiscing about the past and that got me thinking about my childhood. I was born in the winter of 1977 Christchurch.

I remember having an old black and white TV in the Lounge and that didn't have very good reception so it hardly got used much and we also had an old rectangle radiogram, that my mother had purchased it only picked up AM radio and the record player would work sometimes until the needle broke. in about 1984 dad finally brought a color TV and then later followed a Commodore 64 computer, that I think my brother had asked my dad to buy.

In the hallway we also had an old telephone, one of those old dial ones, it was more of a toy to me as a child, it was disconnected. It wasn't till I was about 7 or 8 years old that we gotta push button phone I was so excited to have a phone I'd call my friends all the time and their parents would get angry at me, The novelty soon wore off.

I grew up in Spreydon, Christchurch New Zealand, my parents had brought a house For I think 28 or $30,000 just after my brother had been born. My parents stayed in that house until their deaths 10 and 13 years ago (2023). Before moving to Christchurch They were living in #Leeston where my brother was born (1973) Dad had been brought up in Leeston. His brothers and sister had all moved into Christchurch along with his father and stepmother, or should I say my grandfather and my step Nana, but I viewed her as my nana more as she was the only nana I knew growing up.

My mother was from Huntley, North Island of New Zealand. She was from a family of twelve brothers and sisters, I know I sound tired just saying that I don't know how Grandma Millie did it. My mom ended up down here because two of her sisters had moved down here, one was in Ashburton, and the other here in Christchurch.

Grandma Millie sent my mum down here to be with them, It wasn't long after that she met my dad. a few years later her sister got very sick with multiple sclerosis, MS, and passed away leaving behind my two cousins and their father,That hit my mother and family hard, as did losing any of her family.

All my Uncles and Aunties and Grandma Millie including my mum in Huntly circa 1960s. A few of them are alive today :-) Grandma passed away in 1984, With us being in Christchurch and Grandma being in Huntly I didn't get to know her, but some of my older cousins did, and have said she was a lovely women and grandma.

I have only gotten to know my other aunties and uncles and their children (cousins) through Facebook which is better than nothing, and had a relationship with my aunty in Ashburton and their children. Me and mum would go down and stay there in the School Holidays, I loved going there as a child and teen, they had a pool and my uncle played the guitar and sang, and their home had a nicer vibe and was light.

Dad's side of the family, my grandad on the left, and all his brothers and sisters, in front is my great-grandfather John, he was an early settler Farmer in Sheffield and Ashburton Canterbury and later farmed in what is now the suburb Sockburn Christchurch. John married a Prebble, and it was her brother that started the small town of Prebbleton outside of Christchurch.

My Grandmother Nancy Second left and her Brother Reg Great Grandfather Elis in front, also a Farmer his farm house still stands on the way out to Leeston. He was buried in Leeston Cemetery.

#family #family history #Whakapapa

[princessphilly]

Tag list:  @ohpuckyeah @joelsfarabee @besthockeyfics @dreamer1430 @defiant-mouse @miracleonice87 @lovethepreds @linkingdolans @chicagostylehockey @heatherlcrosby87 @hockeywocs @shortstacks-blog @heatherawoowoo @newlibrary @markymarkstrom @iangiemae @puckbitchesgetmoney @missymore @himbos-on-ice @fiveholegoal @no-pucks-given @pagirl6866 @willieshakesqueer @nazdaddy @whatishockey @alphalib22 @romanseggy @laurenairay @konecny-s @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87 @extratragic @squidlywiddly87 @stuff4me2do @allinangel93 @mydarkestsecretlol @t0xickisses2 @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @tangercrosbyschultzfan25887 @shelbsatans​

CW: soft smut, mentions of miscarriage, fucked up doctors. 

This is definitely it. Sid and Nina’s story is over but you will see them in the other fics of this universe, including a huge part of Plain Jane

Nina stared at the boxes. It was time to pack but at the same time, she couldn’t do it. 

They were so excited. A baby so early in their marriage had seemed scary but Sid and Nina were ready. They had picked out colors, a room for a nursery, and had begun to discreetly pick up supplies. 

It was nineteen weeks; still early but they were getting ready to announce. Then there was the blood in the toilet three days ago when Nina woke up and went to the bathroom. And now, their first, a girl, was gone. 

The doctor was sympathetic, and said it happens a lot. Most pregnancies never make it to birth, she said. But it hurt that their girl was now an angel. Nina sniffled as she packed the pack-and-play back into the box. 

“Hey, why are you doing that? You’re supposed to rest!”

Nina looked up, tears in her eyes. Sidney rushed to her, lowering himself to the floor. Gathering his wife in his arms, he soothed, “Pretty girl, we’ll have more.”

“But-but-“

Nina’s tears turned into sobs as she relaxed in her husband’s arms. Her momma had a history of miscarriages: what if that meant that there would never be a child?

As if he could read her mind, Sidney replied, “it doesn’t matter, I love you no matter what.”

**

Nina was sleeping, finally getting some rest. Matthew was napping on Sidney’s chest, his little boy still red but much calmer. 

It hadn’t been an easy birth for Nina. This was their third pregnancy but first child to make it past the 2nd trimester. And Matthew decided to come out three weeks early, November 26 instead of his due date of December 17. 

The door opened and Matthew stirred a bit before settling back down. Sidney looked around: his mother was curled into a chair, reading a book while Tracy was scrolling her phone on the couch. The proud grandfathers had gone out to get lunch for everyone. 

Walking in, the doctor said, “The nurse said Nina is healing nicely but we will have to do some stitches. Your son is a big boy.”

Sidney gave him a tentative grin. Matthew was 9lbs, 4 oz and 22 inches long. He was on the bigger side. The doctor continued, “When I stitch her, I can give her a husband stitch, if you like.”

“What is that,” Sidney asked, wrinkling his nose. 

Trina interjected, “Don’t you dare, Sidney.”

In a soothing voice, the doctor said, “it’s an extra stitch to make your wife as tight as she was before she gave birth.” He winked at Sidney. 

Sidney looked at his mother before responding, “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“No,” Nina managed to say, opening her eyes. “I heard about that stitch and I will sue if you do that to me.”

“You heard her.”

Sidney gave the doctor a hard look as he shrugged, preparing to give Nina only the necessary stitches. Passing his boy to his mother, Sidney said, “I’d like a different doctor.”

“What, I’ve been-”

Sidney took out his phone, ready to start making some calls. The doctor left, grumbling under his throat. Nina gave Sidney a grateful smile before dozing off again. 

**

One of the hardest things for Sidney was the fact that it was best for his boy not to grow up in Canada. As a proud Canadian, that rankled him. He wanted Matt to be more Canadian than American. But when a video of 2 year old Matt skating and hitting a puck dead center into the net made major news, Sidney knew he had no choice. He wanted Matt to have more of a childhood than him, to not feel like he had to be the next one. 

So, his family spent most of the year in Pittsburgh and summers in Cole Harbour or on different vacations. Sidney knew that his son was still “famous” but Matt was still treated as a kid. With Nina’s extended family, there wasn’t any preferential treatment. His kids were the same as their cousins in Nina’s family, giving his children normalcy Sidney never had as a child. 

Sidney raked a hand through his silver hair. As much as he wanted Matt to go his own way, it still freaked him out that his son chose to be a *goalie* out of all positions. He winced as he heard a shot hit the post. Then Matt made a glove save and Sid clapped.

“That’s not the talent I expected but he’s already showing signs of being a better goalie than center, Sid.”

Sidney turned to his longtime mentor and now close friend, Mario. Shrugging, he replied, “I just want him to be happy. He’s happy, I’m happy.” 

Sidney smirked. “Plus, Chloe is going to be the best woman’s hockey player ever. She’s 8 and she’s already playing with 10 to 12 year old girls.”

“True,” Mario conceded. “You’ve transitioned from pro to hockey dad.”

“Eh, can’t forget Aja and Morgan. I’m a hockey, figure skating, soccer, and dance dad. Not bad for a fifty year old washed up player.”

“Who’s washed up?”

Sidney grinned as his wife bumped him with her hip. His baby girl was holding Nina’s hand, her hair pulled up into a dancer’s bun. Chloe was right behind her, still clad in her hockey gear, Aja trailing behind with a book in her hands. 

“I am,” Sidney drawled. 

Chloe piped up, “No you’re not, Daddy! You’re still the best hockey player ever!”

“Yup,” Morgan added while Aja nodded, absorbed in her book. 

“No, you’ll be the best hockey player ever, Chlo’,” Aja stated, closing her book. “Daddy will be the best men’s hockey player.”

As Aja firmly nodded, Sidney and Mario laughed. 

**

Nina let out a breath. It was crazy how just one touch from Sidney made her hot, even seventeen years later. His lips were trailing down her neck, one hand cupping her breasts. “Can you be quiet for me, pretty girl?”

“Uh huh,” Nina breathed out. Sidney’s other hand was exploring her folds. She was getting wet but menopause was finally calling so Nina knew they would need some help. Leaning away from Sidney, she pulled out the lube from the drawer. 

“Thanks, pretty girl, but I’m more interested in burying my face in your pussy,” Sidney laughed. 

Nina replied softly, “No problem. You know my mom just came back from her cruise so the girls will go find her first this morning.”

“Even better. Spread your legs for me, pretty girl. You know what daddy wants.”

Nina let out a giggle that quickly turned into a muffled moan as she felt Sidney’s tongue gently lick through her pussy, his nose nudging her clit the way she liked it. He ate her slowly, bringing Nina close to the edge but never letting her go. Then Sidney stopped, kissing his way up Nina’s body before kissing her, letting Nina taste herself. 

Wrapping her legs around his waist, Nina urged, “Please, Sidney,” managing to keep her voice at a whisper. Before he could answer, they heard some girlish giggles and they both paused. 

“I locked the door last night,” Sidney whispered into Nina’s ear. Nina giggled then moaned as she felt Sidney’s fingers spread the cool lube over her pussy. Then he entered her, nice and slow.

“Love you, pretty girl,” Sidney whispered as Nina arched against him. She was clenching around his cock; he wanted to go slow and savor it this morning but Nina had different ideas. 

Nina whispered, “Love you, too,” her fingernails digging into his back. Then she squeaked as Sidney withdrew, turning her onto her hands and knees.  

**

“Momma, you promised to make breakfast today.”

Nina straggled into the kitchen, her robe wrapped tightly around her body. “Morg, it’s 9:30 in the morning on a Saturday, it’s still morning.”

Chloe piped up, “You’re usually up before us everyday, Momma.”

Nina shared a look with Sidney who squelched a laugh. He had planned to just go one round with his wife but it turned into three to start off the day right. 

Sighing, Nina grabbed bowls to prepare waffles. Morgan added, “Mimi made waffle batter already, Momma.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Nina sincerely stated. 

Tracey shrugged. “I figured I’d give you a break since I’ve been gone. You know I love my grand girls.”

Matthew yawned as he walked into the kitchen, his hair sticking up all over his head. “Hi,” he sleepily said before going to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of Gatorade. 

“It’s too early for energy drinks, Matt,” Sidney chided. 

“Sorry, Dad.”

Matthew was about three weeks from turning twelve and the whole teenage era was coming fast. Now, he was sleeping in and staying up late. Nina sighed, it was too early for one of her babies to grow up. 

“I would have woken up earlier but these girls had to jump on my bed at 7am, Dad,” Matthew complained. “They said your door was locked. Why do they always have to bother me?”

“Because we love you, Matty,” Aja said with a mischievous smile. “And some girl sent you messages while you were asleep.”

Matthew glared at his little sister. “Girls are ugly. Especially girls like you.”

Sid and Nina shared a look. Sid just had “the talk” with Matthew and they were both happy he still saw girls as ugly, at least for now. Tracey said, “Oh baby, that’s no way to talk to your little sister.”

“I’m sorry, Mimi,” Matthew said, giving his grandmother a kiss. “Momma, can we have blueberry waffles today?”

“Plain waffles,” Nina said firmly. “You can add blueberries, strawberries, or peaches as a fruit topping.”

“No chocolate chips?”

Chloe and Morgan gave their mother their biggest puppy-dog eyes. Nina shook her head. They then give Sidney the same look, saying together, “Daddy, can we have chocolate chips with our waffles?”

Sidney laughed as he picked up two of his girls. “You two already know the answer to that!”

Chloe pouted as Morgan laughed at the silly faces Sidney was making. Sidney added, “It’s Saturday so you know today is ice cream day after dinner. Did anyone feed Maddie?”

Nina giggled as she turned on the grill. At the mention of her name, Maddie, their dog, ran into the kitchen. Pharaoh, their cat, followed Maddie in, stretching before walking around her legs. As her family noisily talked, Nina sighed in happiness. She loved her family, life was perfect.

#nhl #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #sidney crosby imagines #sidney crosby fics #sidney crosby imagine #sidney crosby fanfiction #sidney crosby fic #sidney Crosby #all bets are off #fluff #nhl fic #nhl ref #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fiction #hockey fics #hockey fic #nhl smut #hockey smut #smut #soft smut

[cptn-stvngrntrgrs]

I keep thinking of alexei and Melina interacting with Romanogers babies!!!! 😭😭😭 and yelena as the fun aunt that makes fun of their parents, and I definitely see alexei joining 😭😭 I think Melina would be so gentle with them, teaching them science, showing them animals and I just 😭😭😭

hi anon -YES OMGGG -but was that a prompt because it sure sounded like a prompt!

anyways, here ya go!

Title: turns out i got two

Relationship: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff

Summary:

My whole life I didn't think I have any family. Turns out I got two.

Adventures with both sides of Natasha's family!

ft. romanogers babies, cool Aunt Yelena, Grandpa Alexei and Grandma Melina, and more!

Also on AO3!

“Shhh, don’t wake up your mama!”

Natasha crinkled her nose at the noise around her, still partly muted from the nap she was just waking up from. She wasn’t sure what time it was - just that she closed her eyes in the middle of an old movie and she Steve were watching, knowing damn well it was just background noise while they cuddled in silence. One thing she knew for sure was that she was alone on the couch now but a blanket was draped over her. Giggles erupted next to her ear and she fought against a smile tugging at her lips.

“I think mama’s awake anyway,” a voice answered, an obviously failed attempt at a whisper.

“I think she’s still sleeping,” Natasha joked, peeking an eye open and seeing James right in front of her. He was grinning ear to ear, but there were specks of mud on his face. “James? Did you not listen to Nana and played with the pigs again ?” Fully awake now, Natasha sat up and took James’ face in her hands, leaning in to kiss his forehead. He giggled, throwing his arms around Natasha’s neck for a hug. “Honey,” Natasha pulled away fractionally, “you smell stinky.”

James nervously laughed and tried to explain. “I might have fallen in the pen.” Natasha narrowed her eyes, seeing right through her son’s lie. She didn’t have to be a spy to know that he’s lying - and, judging by the sheepish smile on his face, James knew he can’t fool his mother either.

“Whatever happened to watching him?” Natasha asked Alexei, her voice stern but teasing. No matter how many rules for the kids she tried to establish, it seems that they go out the window once the grandparents are in charge. She knows it should annoy her, yet she can’t help but find it cute. Melina and Alexei are only lenient on the little things anyway, respecting major rules that Steve and Natasha has laid out for their kids.

Looking up from the newspaper he was reading at the kitchen counter, Alexei’s eyes widened. “What do you want me to do! He said he fell! Right, James?” Alexei argued, throwing his hands up and winking - obviously wanting James to make his mom believe that he didn’t deliberately play with his grandma’s experiment - er, pet - pigs. James giggled and nodded, loving his little game with his grandfather. Natasha’s convinced the two of them spending so much time together will drive her to an early grave.

“Yeah, I don’t think even your dad could be convinced of that, bud. Go, take a shower please.” He nodded and ran up the stairs to the bathroom. Yawning and stretching her arms, Natasha turned to Alexei. “What time did you guys get back? And where’s everyone else?” She eyed the clock and saw that it was nearing 7pm. Melina and Alexei took James and Sarah to the Cleveland Zoo earlier in the day, insisting that the kids stop by there before they go back to New York the next day.

Melina and Alexei’s farm in the suburbs of Cleveland became a frequent vacation spot for Steve, Natasha, and the kids. Ever since the Red Room was taken down, Melina and Alexei decided to go back to Ohio and settle down - if that’s what they want to call it. The two have been working with Yelena in tracking down more Widows and other victims of the Red Room - as well as running covert ops in taking down child-trafficking rings - from their farm. Yelena is more of a nomad - being more active in the field by traveling all over the world, although she usually stops by the farm or Natasha and Steve’s house in New York.

“We only have been here for an hour. Steve’s helping Melina with some stuff in the back. Sarah does not want to leave her grandmother’s side,” Alexei smiled fondly. Sarah has thoroughly stolen her grandfather’s heart and it shows.

Natasha nodded, checking her phone for messages. “Is Yelena stopping by? The kids haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Eh, you know her. She might, she might not.” Natasha looked up at that, narrowing her eyes at him. Alexei put his hands up again. “I don’t know. She said she will try. I did not want to put the kids’ hopes up so I did not tell them.”

Natasha smirked. “That sounds like her.” She stood up and headed to the back door to see if she could spot Sarah and Steve. The little girl is sitting on the back of a pony, with Melina standing next to her with a hand perched on her back - although Natasha has a rising suspicion that the pony is a little bit too behaved for a regular farm animal. And Steve is - oh - now breaking logs in half. For what, Natasha isn’t sure, but all she knows is that he makes a damn good sight to see.

“I used to look like that, you know. Maybe even bigger.” Alexei, who Natasha didn’t notice have moved next to her, suddenly piped up, seemingly following her line of sight. “Your mom - you know, those years we lived here - she liked it, I could tell.” Natasha wrinkled her nose, frowning as she looked up at Alexei. “What, what? I’m just saying. He’s not the only super soldier in the house. I’m just saying. I put on some weight but I still look good, no? Melina still thinks so.”

“Okay, calm down. I don’t really need all the gory details.” Natasha shook her head, looking back at Steve. He’s almost through his pile of whole logs, his shirt now almost completely drenched in sweat.

“But that’s my point - there are still gory details,” Alexei winked at Natasha’s overly-dramatic shudder. “You know. If you two need more weekends alone, Melina and I don’t mind having the kids over. You just have to tell us.”

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Natasha turned to meet Alexei’s eyes. “Ha ha, I get it. As weird as what you’re trying to say - thank you. I appreciate it, really.” He grinned, his right arm reaching around Natasha to envelop her in a one-arm hug. It took a while for Natasha to let Alexei start hugging her again, and once she did, he never let a moment to do so pass.

Natasha caught Sarah’s eyes when the latter looked up, waving with her free hand. She heard Sarah squeal and say something to Melina, who nodded at the little girl. Sarah brought her arms out and was lifted off the pony by her grandmother before making a mad dash to the back door where Natasha was standing. Alexei slid the door open just in time to hear the “Mommy!!!” screech coming from Sarah, with said little girl running into her mom’s open arms.

“Hi honey! How was your time at the zoo today?” Natasha asked while hugging Sarah tightly. The little girl hugged her back with all her might before letting go, excited to answer her mom’s question.

“I had so much fun! Grandma taught me about animals!”

“Go on, tell your mama which one is your favorite,” Alexei prodded, reaching down to help straighten Sarah’s hair.

“I liked the monkeys! They remind me of Rocky,” the girl replied, making Natasha sputter. Ah, yes. Sarah and her ever-fascination with Rocket Raccoon will never not amuse any of the other Avengers.

“Make sure to tell him that, honey,” Steve suddenly piped up, having walked back with Melina. He stood next to Natasha and planted to swift kiss to her lips.

Natasha wrinkled her nose, flicking his arm. “You stink, go shower after your son,” she waved him off, sending him laughing up to their room to get changed.

“And do you remember what animal group monkeys are a part of?” Melina asked, kneeling on one knee next to Sarah.

Sarah paused for a minute, scrunching up her brows in the same way as Steve often would when thinking - something Natasha would often tease him about - before answering. “Primates!”

This made Melina beam and kiss her forehead before standing up. “Very good, baby! You’re the smartest little girl I know!” she praised, making Sarah giggle. Turning to Natasha and Alexei, she inclined her head to the kitchen. “Come on, dinner should be ready soon.”

Once Steve and James got back and helped set the table, they all gathered around the table to eat. Melina made Borscht and Stroganoff - both of which are favorites of James and Sarah. They were laughing about how Sarah tried to ride one of the ponies at the zoo thinking it would be as tame as Melina’s pony, only to have it get spooked and run away when the doorbell rang. The adults all exchanged a look as Alexei stood up to answer the door.

“Who’s that grandma?” James asked, glancing up before taking a bite of his food.

“Your favorite aunt, it’s who!” A voice bellowed, followed by a tapping of feet.

“Auntie Yelena!” Both children chorused, rushing out of their seats to greet their aunt before she even reached the kitchen. “Fanny!” they squealed once the dog found them and started circling their feet.

Yelena walked into the kitchen with Sarah and James latched on both of her sides, Fanny following right on their heels. “Hello, everybody. Thanks for not waiting for me before eating,” she deadpanned.

“We didn’t even know you were coming.” Melina answered, scooping more soup into Steve’s bowl.

Yelena’s mouth dropped. “Natasha knew! I texted her. This is so unfair,” she huffed and sat down on the available seat next to Steve once the kids let go of her.

“What? I wanted it to be a surprise!” Natasha argued, smirking at her sister. “Isn’t that what you would’ve wanted?” she asked before eating a spoonful of Stroganoff. Yelena pouted, taking a piece of bread and biting into it.

Conversation flowed nicely throughout dinner, and it wasn’t until everyone moved into the living room while eating dessert did Yelena start braiding Sarah’s hair. “Are you ever going to color your hair, honey?” She asked, her fingers swiftly yet delicately weaving through the little girl’s hair.

“Oh please, Yelena, she’s six. Don’t give her any ideas,” Natasha waved her off, passing the bowl of ice cream to Steve.

Melina laughed, getting everyone’s attention. “It’s funny you say that, you know. Considering you would put temporary dyes in Yelena’s hair when you were younger. Not to mention your blue hair,” she nudged Alexei’s side, making him snort. “Remember?”

Steve looked at Natasha, his mouth dropping fractionally. “You had blue hair?” That got James’ attention too, as he turned to them from the TV.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at Melina before looking at Steve. “You’ve seen me with how many different hair colors already?”

“Yes, but that’s different because those are for missions, so it doesn’t mean the same. You had honest-to-god blue hair?” he tried asking again.

“Didn’t you bring the photo album with you, mama?” Yelena asked, looking up at Melina.

Melina nodded and stood up from the couch, plucking the album from one of her bookshelves. “Here, see?” She brought it over to where Steve and Natasha were sitting, setting it on the coffee table in front of them.

The photo album looked worn but the pictures were still clear, surprisingly. It contained the tale of their undercover family in Ohio, yet it all felt very real. Steve smiled softly at a young Natasha - he’s seen some of this pictures before, but the photobooth shots of a young her and Yelena have been new additions to the album. He figured they might have had it restored because it looked crisp and blown up.

“Wow, she wasn’t kidding. You did have blue hair,” he remarked, making Natasha glare at him. “What? It looks good! You looked so… punk.”

“She does have a flair for the dramatic,” Yelena agreed, tying Sarah’s braid in place. “There, all done! Show your mama.”

Sarah skipped to Natasha’s side, showing off her new braid and getting praises from her parents. She looked down to where everyone was looking at, noting the pictures for the first time. “Is that you, Aunt Yelena?” she pointed to a picture of a little girl holding a box in front of a tree.

Yelena knelt down next to the table to look at which photo she was pointing at and stifled a laugh. The ends of her hair in that picture have tints of pink in them, probably from one of Natasha’s so-called “experiments” back then - where she would usually test out a color on Yelena’s hair too before committing all of it on hers. She nodded at Sarah, “Yes, honey, that’s me. That’s your mom next to me.” she pointed at where a young Natasha was smiling brightly at the camera.

“Your hair looked like candy!”

Looking smug, Yelena leaned back to look at her sister in the eye, who was already shaking her head. “Well, honey, it’s a good thing your mom knows a lot about hair colors.”

Steve snorted at the inside joke between them just as Sarah started rattling off a list of colors she wants to try. It sounds like she might just be listing every color she can recall, but Yelena knows Natasha has at least found her new muse to experiment hair colors with.

#romanogers #stevenat #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #fanfic #my fic #post-endgame #black widow #anon #captain america #this turned really mushy #might make this multi-chaptered #if u guys send me prompts for other adventures haha #kinda connects with my other fics #avengers #marvel #yelena boleva #melina vostokoff #alexei shoskatoff #red guardian #iron maiden #mcu #james rogers #sarah rogers #rocket raccoon

[jae-canikeepyou]

| kismet | j.jh | part two

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 10k+

summary: his parents sends him for a month long vacation to the country side to meet his other half, which so happens to be you. and alternatively, your beloveds asks of you to be in your best behaviour while he’s around. disliking how things turn out, you both come up with a pact with each other before your two families gathers together for christmas eve dinner.

genre: arranged marriage + bad 1st impressions

a/n: this is not proofread and i apologise for any mistakes :p here’s the next one and i hope you look forward to the final soon! enjoy reading! ~j

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| part one | part three (final) |

it was another morning johnny saw you and jaehyun arguing at a distance by the stables. be it inaudible yelling or actions that seemed exaggerated, this time it was a sight that was a little worth seeing. so he walked closer to hear this quarrel.

“you didn’t check the horses’ conditions yet? it’s been a few days and i told you to memorise the schedule!” you flipped through pages roughly that they nearly tore. “it’s your job! you’re the ‘vet’!”

“what? you never gave me any schedule to begin with!” jaehyun groaned then sat back on the hammock to rest and you were trying to get him back up on his toes. “and what if i just want to take a day off today? you can’t force me!”

“check the animals jaehyun. that’s an order.” you sighed, writing down notes to keep updated with the stocks and materials. “i have some things to do—”

“like what? practicing and riding?” he asked and you didn’t answer. “thought so. you rarely do things around here and you still brag about how accomplished you feel.” he scoffed and laid back down on the hammock. “i’m the one doing the work..” he mumbled until it was inaudible for you.

ouch that hit the mark. johnny could see your cheeks bubbling up and eyebrows narrowing at jaehyun’s comment. of course he wouldn’t know that because you usually do not deal with the hard work around the farm. the only job you work hard for was horse riding. you had a reputation to hold as you were the daughter of a renowned family.

jaehyun took a huge inhale as he swung himself like a mother did to lull a child. he sung to annoy you even more and with the ruffles from the papers in your hands, johnny could tell his friend was satisfied making you mad. you bit your hairtie between teeth, tying your hair up into a high ponytail and rolling up your sleeves until the elbows.

he was indeed a huge man, you grabbed the edge of the cloth and pulled him as high as you could. he fell miserably to the hard soil. “ow quit it y/n!” he stood up to dust the impossible dirt from his pants. “you’re just sensitive because what i said is actually true! i’ll get back to work if that’s what you’re worried about.”

he fixed his coat and head straight inside the stables.

you crossed your arms and tried your best to hold your changing expression. “talk about sensitive! you can’t even withstand heavy workload!”

“mentally i can but i’m not physically ready! i didn’t sign up to be your pawn so stop acting like a queen and actually help out!” he grabbed the hay and scattered them in the horses’ place.

the audacity- the fall from three days ago still had an impact on you. “didn’t you hear what i said? i have things to do! now continue that. i have to answer this call..” you sounded irritated and soon your voice sounding further away the more you spoke. jaehyun saw you answering the ringing phone, taking it from you.

before you could, you were draped on his shoulder as if you were a towel. “i won’t take that as an excuse, y/n! you’re coming with me!” he forcibly took the phone off your hands and threw it far.

defeated and exhausted to talk back, you tapped his back because fear was slowly consuming you due to your shoulder pain. “you’re buying me another phone! put me down jaehyun! my back still hurts!” you hit his hips and expected he wouldn’t listen but,

he did as you were told.

“you’re forgetting your condition number one!” jaehyun pointed his temples as anger became visibly seen on his face. “you said ‘you’ll do the work for me and with me’, and they go together!” he threw a small sack of hay to you.

“you’re being an ass because i invaded your day-off!” you stomped to the next horse.

“tsk, i don’t think i can continue this with you! you‘re ruining my well-being every single day!”

“the jeong jaehyun can’t stand arguments?” you tilted your head in frustration and nodded at his silence. “thought so. this is part of the pact you suggested and i’m just simply following it! so if there’s anything, you’re the weak one here!”

from afar, johnny was taken aback behind the fences.

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the kitchen was quiet, the grandfather clock ticking away time and as each second passed, so did your patience. daylight met its end. it was day 14 and your mother asked you to give jaehyun the lesson he wanted to have— bread making. you forgot about it, and jaehyun probably did too because despite staying over for ‘vacation’, every day you either saw him with his friends goofing around the barn or him superglued to his school work.

yet now you were close to smashing his face into the mountain of flour he carefully, and slowly built. mark did a better job despite being clumsy. you can handle clumsy, but you couldn’t handle people with top perfection in their ego, a.k.a., jaehyun.

his dimples were hollowing as he looked intently at the numbers on the scale, waiting for that specific and exact digit to appear with a spoonful of melted butter. “oh my g- you’re wasting time!” you grabbed the spoon and put everything into the bowl. “0.1 or 0.2 grams makes no difference! hurry up and mix the dry to the wet ingredients!”

“i was nearly done with the measurements but you had to dump everything in there!” still he stirred them in a bowl with a whisk anyway. “you’re the impatient one!” he carried the bowl and placed it between his arm and waist, subtly asking johnny to film him.

“uhm what do i do after they’re incorporated?” mark interrupted the heated conversation. so far he was careful and observant with your every move. “do i knead it?”

“after twenty minutes.” you smiled at him. this was great; mark actually made your day at least, a lot better than jaehyun did. “resting it will let the flour hydrate. the milk will be absorbed and the gluten will relax too.”

mark snapped his fingers as he tore a plastic wrap to place on the bowl. “that makes it easier to knead right?”

for a moment you felt like a proud mom. “mhm, you’re learning! you’re originally not my student today but you’re doing a better job than—”

the bowl jaehyun was using fell to the floor. to make it worse it was upside-down, that meant all work done had gone to waste. the dough wasn’t close to incorporated. “..him.”

“crap.” jaehyun swore under his breath. his lashes slowly lifted. “my bad. i don’t mind starting again. i can handle my next batch.”

and though they were pretty, your disappointment came through your sigh. “goodness jaehyun. things are never right with you. i’ll clean this up. we ran out of eggs and milk so you have to go to the farm and get some.” you pulled mark’s arm aside as you began to clean. “mark you can chill for a while.”

jaehyun untied his apron and went out with a bucket, mumbling and complaining to himself at exasperating you were so early in the morning.

johnny then followed him. the pact he heard lingered in his head and thought this would be the right time to ask. “i can do the milking myself john.” he opened the gate to the cattle.

“i know. but that’s not why i came along.” johnny put his camera aside. “you and y/n.. made a pact?” with that question out and jaehyun dropped the bucket, johnny figured that what he heard days ago could be true.

“what?” jaehyun turned on his heel, confused, trying not to sound or look surprised. “why would i make a pact with someone so ill-mannered as her? she’s not worth my time or even interests me.” he affirmed with subtle shaky eyes. “the only pact i know is this marriage our parents put us into.

johnny thought for a while, looking at jaehyun who grew clueless the minute passed. he guessed he was wrong. “n-nothing. i’m probably hearing things. or jumbling scenarios because i’ve been watching too many movies this holiday season. i’m sorry dude.”

deep inside jaehyun let out a sigh of relief, but anger was starting to boil at how careless you were for slipping out. he continued to milk the cows and retrieve a couple of eggs before hearing you call them from the house. “oh my g- she’s screaming again-” he scoffed and tried to walk faster. “i can’t just run i might spill the milk bucket!”

“there’s this thing called speedwalking!” you yelled. “try doing that!”

“you always argue with her. aren’t you both tired?” johnny took huge leaps to escape the cold.

“she isn’t, i am. imagine the amount of stress i get the moment i open my eyes in the morning.” jaehyun vouched and shivered at the thought of it.

johnny opened the door and the warmth met their skin. “sure but when you do bump heads, there’s always a smile on your face after you state your point. i never seen you in a good mood since you and sue broke up. i can take that smile of yours a sign.” johnny noted what he’d been seeing.

“it’s a victor’s smile. it means i win the argument.”

they both entered the house and to find you still teaching mark. jaehyun placed the bucket down and rested on the sofa after being told he could use the kitchen once you were finished. trying to keep warm, jaehyun gave small glimpses of you as he wondered when it would be the right time to tell you about what johnny told him. and because he felt johnny tailing him from behind, he wanted your lesson to be over quick.

“i’m thinking it’s a sign that you have feelings for y/n.”

jaehyun batted his lashes. “no no no. i don’t fall in love that easily. there’s nothing attractive about her and i told you i’m not marrying someone like her, with bad attitude and all—”

“and still you tease her for fun? that’s like a cover-up to hide how you actually feel. you may not see that but in another’s eyes, it means something.” johnny clicked the buttons on his camera, rewatching the videos he took.

“are you throwing the ‘i tease her because i like her’ kind of ego? you know i argue with her because i hate her.” he hissed, flipping his laptop open to double check his reports.

the blonde hair boy shook his head with a growing grin of disbelief. “i’m not. my point is, it wouldn’t hurt to try to know her for who she is.” johnny’s lips flatlined when his eyes trailed to your approaching figure. “who knows maybe she’s trying as well and never really got the chance to- yeah i know y/n he’s all yours now.”

unfolding your arms you playfully hit his back with pressed lips. “shut it johnny. just help the baby lion with the cleaning, he’s not really good at it.”

you sat on the sofa, circling your shoulder to ease the pain before leaning back. “ugh. kneading the bread made it worse.”

with the frequent complaints coming from you, he couldn’t concentrate proof-reading his work. it made jaehyun unzip his coat, fishing something from inside and handed a box to you. bothered with how you hesitated to get it, he grabbed your wrists and placed it on your palms. “take it. it helps me a lot too whenever i cram.” did he just.. smile? it was subtle but you were sure he did.

a swarm of guilt started to form at the pit of your stomach. it wasn’t that you thought he partially blamed himself for the fall at the barn house, but because he actually cared when the fall wasn’t even the ultimate reason why your shoulder suffered in the first place. he had no knowledge and still doesn’t. and it was kind of frustrating to think you couldn’t begin that topic.

your heart now was experiencing somersaults. you asked yourself: why? sure he’s handsome and got built, but at this moment why are you all flimsy and speechless? “so you do have a heart for people.” you opened the box of the patch’s packaging.

“i was expecting a ‘thank you’ but i guess with that you’re taking back your words.” he grinned as he typed on.

you snorted as you put your legs up. “hmpf, aren’t you assumi- ow.” you touched your forehead where the pain stung.

“shut up, i’m reading.” jaehyun stressed in a low voice.

“reading what?” you scooted in closer, and jaehyun surprisingly let you see what it was rather than snapping at you. you squinted at the screen and nodded. “equine studies..” you read out softly, that seemed to be a report he worked on in his early years. “isn’t it mandatory for you to study it?”

jaehyun’s scrutinizing gaze caught you off guard, making you clamp your lips to keep quiet. he sighed and continued to read as if you didn’t exist. “i thought you weren’t interested in my field of study.” his brows drew together at your curiosity despite remembering how you did say it clearly.

quickly you tear the patch’s plastic to break the awkward silence you brought upon and let out a soft chuckle of shame. “i’m asking because it’s equine related and i wanna learn. plus i’m too tired to pick up a fight with you so teach me everything you know.”

“i don’t even know if you’d get it in one night- fine. it’s mandatory but i only learnt the basics. i’m not specialising in it or anything so don’t expect much.” jaehyun stared at the screen yet feeling your presence so close kind of pressured him, and he didn’t know why.

“basics like checking the heart, respiratory rate, temperature and hydration status?” you hugged your legs together after placing the patch behind you. “hm.. that’s kinda simple.”

jaehyun clicked his tongue. “that’s the general checking for an animal’s condition, used for emergency access and such. we were given an understanding of veterinary anatomy—”

“which includes learning principles in developmental anatomy in gross, microscopical and ultrastructural levels. learn all these then you can focus on organs to give a physical and radiological diagnosis with the physiology and anatomy as bases—” you finished his sentence, soon shutting up as you got carried away.

his mouth agaped in shock and in strangeness of your interest. he checked your forehead to see if you were in the right mind. “did you read it out from a book or something? and what’s up with you and scientific terminology? you’re supposed to be hating on big words.”

you wondered why his comment hurt you. did he assume you were uneducated? at this point you thought deeply that secrets were meant to be kept. and they were only to be revealed by two ways; one was heard by others, and two was at your will.

“why are you so quiet now?” he laughed, scrolling down at endless of documented pages. “are you experiencing brain fart after that long sentence of sophisticated vocabulary?”

this was far from assumption. this was plain mockery. and it hurt. you hit him on the arm a little more violent and forceful than the usual, and bite back your lips. “it’s not because i’m dumb. i know these because i’ve been there.” you stood up and grabbed the box he gave you. “thanks for this anyway. good night.”

“hey you don’t have to hit me!” jaehyun paused for a second, he had difficulties processing your sudden outburst. he mumbled to himself, “why is she offended when i’m the one who got hit..”

mark happily came out of the kitchen with a freshly baked bread in his hands. “y/n! i’m done with the bread and it smells soooo good- jaehyun, where is she?” the younger one put down the tray.

he sighed and gestured confusingly. “i don’t know she probably went to sleep.”

“man i wanted her to try it.”

“she can try tomorrow. anyway i’m gonna take a shower.” jaehyun turned off his laptop and headed straight to the bathroom.

but before he could have his relaxation, hendery stood against the opposing wall with arms crossed. “can we talk?” he tilted his head, asking to sit at the veranda with him.

they sat at the table set with hendery pouring cups of hot tea. jaehyun took it in his hands, eyes meeting your childhood friend’s as he brushed his hair up. “i kind of wanna tell you something. it’s not my position but i feel like you deserve to know.” that made jaehyun’s mind questioning more. “i overheard you and y/n talking.”

jaehyun frowned at the very recent event, something he found rude from your action. “yeah? she reacted so much and hit me just because i teased her a little. might’ve taken it too seriously but she should know i was joking about her not knowing-”

hendery looked at the dusk distance. “m’lady loves animals more than anything, and for a long time veterinary science is something close to her heart too.”

jaehyun gulped in full on revelation. that was why you reacted. he realised the reason why you hated him in the first place wasn’t only because he was the one you were to marry, but because he was the person who was currently studying the course you’ve always wanted to take.

“she was supposed to take it in college but due to unfortunate circumstances she couldn’t continue. there’s family issue and she had an accident-”

what accident? jaehyun for the first time in other’s eyes, showed worry and curiosity. and his raise in brows cause hendery to realise he missed out an important detail.

“ah you haven’t met mr. y/l/n yet, right?” hendery asked as he sipped on his tea. “he’s busy right now because he’s always out of town but he’s the one y/n’s having issues with.”

“i’m guessing her father opposed to the idea of her becoming a vet?”

hendery shook his head. “he didn’t oppose. in fact he allowed y/n once we graduated high school. she got enrolled to the first semester and was doing well until she had little time to no practice for her semi-finals at cross country at all. mr. y/l/n is a horse riding coach so he’s especially strict with y/n. let’s say their arguments started from there.”

though he didn’t ask parts of your personal life, hearing all these news stunned jaehyun. there was only one thing he wanted to ask: what caused your accident? “how did she do with vet science?”

“she managed and had no fails.” hendery had a brief proud smile. “sadly mr. y/l/n didn’t find it impressive, because he really thought his daughter would be an equestrian like him. y/n hoped he’d be understanding but yeah anyway, you get the gist from there.”

“if it ever crosses her mind, we’ll see if she does. i’ll head inside for a shower. thanks for letting me know.” jaehyun had his palms on the knob, turning around one last time to confirm something. “was the accident, bad?”

“not as life threatening, but it was enough to traumatise her.” hendery picked up the plates and cups. “she.. still hasn’t recovered.”

he stared back at the young lad’s expression, and he could tell hendery has been looking after you ever since. maybe it was better if he hadn’t asked.

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you still shook your legs after hendery warned you of your decency and image, saying that that action was his pet peeve. but really, it was just an excuse to save himself from you due to the fact he said that shaking legs while thinking wasn’t ladylike at all. you couldn’t keep yourself in one place, pacing back and forth in the barn with marg eyeing you since it already been long you did so. “sis.” she cleared her throat and you stopped being jittery with biting your fingers. “what’s up with you?”

“nothing.” you lied, an uneasy feeling began to build up in your chest as the man you despise gently held the horses’ manes. “i’m fine, just thinking.”

jaehyun did the final checks for your horses’ health conditions and to be brutally honest not only did you find him surprisingly quiet, he was rather kind and collected for four days now. he even taught you some veterinary related topics in which you were surprised he was willing to teach. maybe he took your subtle request when you wanted to learn anything he knew about equine medicine. perhaps he wanted a break from all negativity when it came to you. in fact he did mention he couldn’t continue arguing anymore.

and in those four days it got you thinking about the pact. you had a week left and you weren’t sure if you convinced your family or jaehyun’s friends enough to call off the marriage. yes you’ve been at each other’s nerves for small arguments and there were times you forget about it too because the way you both fought was so natural. however today was just too quiet, like he was stopping the fights on purpose and for what reason exactly?

marg slid next to you when you went out for fresh air, nudging you by the waist with hers. “obvious again.”

“w-what?” you widened your eyes, earning a sly grin from your sister. “obvious about what?”

“your heart is on your sleeves. i can see it. the others might do too. so tell me, do you like jaehyun?” she crossed her arms, her grin widening when you began to be jittery again.

“ha?! no!” you stuttered and lied, and you knew marg’s claims hit the nail.

because not only did the past four days of not talking with jaehyun had a toll on your pact, but it definitely had on your heart. there were a total of four things you discovered about him.

1. jaehyun was a fast learner. he learned to clean horse hooves, saddle them and even did carpentry in one day.

2. he had humour but no one really acknowledged it, and appeared a little dorky to you.

3. his dimples were actually cute and has a vampire smile.

4. he really did have a heart for people too. you saw how he helped out your family whenever you were absent.

sometimes these traits softened you, and sometimes you wanted to at least be his friend. but you weren’t close to being one because the pact clearly prevents you to and in the end, it was better off that way. marg held your shoulder. “i know you fight a lot but that’s when the developing starts.” she paused, looking back at the barn. “jaehyun seems alright but you’re really being too obvious.”

“again, obvious about what? i hate it when you’re so vague stating your point.”

“if you wanna talk with him just do it.” she turned around a little to see the said man removing his gloves. “i noticed you’re both distant. it’s been four days so i’m guessing you’re not used to not fighting him. you tend to miss whatever you both stopped doing.”

you pinched her cheek. “do you even know how mentally draining it is to reason out with him?” you darted a gaze at her before a weight was put upon your head. it wasn’t that long for you to realise it was jaehyun. gosh how irritating. you even recognised the perfume he wore.

“i know exactly how that feels, marg.” jaehyun winked at her. “can’t mess with this one,” he messed your hairdo. “she’s feistier than most animals i’ve encountered.”

his giggle of pride echoed in your ears and you thought you were able to tolerate his reply but no. whether he was doing his part for the pact or not, whether he was enjoying this or not, he became more of a jerk the longer he stayed here.

“i’ll leave you two to talk. the light in y/n’s eyes changed when you arrived- ah!” she held her arm as you pushed her aside, and she was proudly walking away with what she had done.

jaehyun shoved his hands in pockets as he gestured you to follow him into the barn. it was only the two of you now while the rest surveyed other parts of the land with hendery. he held jet’s reins, usually your horse would react whenever strangers would. not to jaehyun, shockingly. you bit your lips in wonders what this man had in his mind.

“i just checked him like you taught me. he’s dehydrated.” he pinched a part of its skin close to the mane. “you practiced this morning right? didn’t give him water?”

“i gave him enough.” you unlocked the gate to jet, soon petting him. you couldn’t help but feel immense awkwardness. “did his skin snap back?”

“not as fast as i expected but he needs a little more fluids to keep the levels normal.” jaehyun wrote down numbers before handing your notebook to you, and you thought today was going to pass again without progress for the pact. “i’m gonna walk around for a bit. later.”

“hey.” you called out perhaps a little too rudely and instead of talking things through. he stopped in his tracks. “setting the vet thing aside, aren’t you being too quiet right when we have a week left? it’s been four days and by now some of them might notice the sudden silence. did you forget about the pact?” you asked, not knowing why you were fuming all of a sudden.

maybe it was because he was only staring at you. or that marg’s obversation was slowly getting to you and convincing that her hunch about you was right. “you’re a jerk when i met you but you’re even more so nowadays.”

jaehyun turned around with pursed lips, he didn’t like how you always assumed, especially giving him nicknames in which his friends also have gotten used to calling him those. “me? a jerk? i’m doing all i can to stop this marriage because we both know how it feels to be controlled.”

his answer only made you laugh. “ha you don’t know anything about me, jaehyun. if you’re actually doing something why haven’t you done anything then? you’re being careless-”

he brushed his hair & wore his cap backwards. “it’s not about if i’ve done something! y/n it’s about what you did!” jaehyun pulled you to a corner in caution if anyone heard him. “you were loud and careless! last week johnny asked me if we made a pact because he heard you mentioning it! i assure you he has a mind i still couldn’t understand and he’s probably trying to connect the dots now-”

“wai- you’re saying he knows about it and you’re only telling me now?!” you slammed jet’s gate, your eyes fixed him. “you could’ve told me right then and we could’ve solved this as soon as possible! how much do you think he knows?”

jaehyun slowly rubbed his face, shook his head and shrugged shoulders. “i don’t know! but you know what happens when he figures out we’re arguing for show? he’ll tell everyone we did that because we’re against this marriage! and in the end? we’ll be stuck with each other for life-”

“ugh don’t even tell me about it i couldn’t even stand the sight of you!” you wrapped yourself more in your coat, stomping straight outside and ignoring his reactions towards you.

“why are you like this when it’s clearly your fault?!” he quickly grabbed your shoulders to forcibly turn you around. “i’m telling you and you’re so reactive about it?”

you pointed at his chest. “no! it’s your fault for not telling me sooner!”

“oh so now it’s my fault? y/n look at yourself! can’t you see that someone impudent like you can cause troubles even for a slightest bit! you’re at fault!”

impudent?.. this was all too familiar and nostalgic.

jaehyun then closed his eyes at the stinging pain in the groin. “ugh what the hel-”

“you deserve that-”

right when that felt good and you wanted to hit him more, you were yanked backwards by a force. you fought back the arms restraining you. “y/n stop!”

“let me go wong kunhang! this jerk needs a lesson!” you growled in his arms, shimmying your body through them.

hendery reminded you of your shoulder and soon you stopped. “i’m sure that kick was enough for a lesson and calm down, will you?”

“jae you alright?” johnny helped him up. “hope it’s not too injured because you still need that for reproduction-”

“seriously? now’s not the time.” jaehyun glared at him then to you, you were now like deer in the headlights with his stare. “this is why i can’t stand you.”

mark, hendery and johnny looked at each other trying to figure what had happened. “what were you two arguing about?” hearing hendery ask, you tugged on your coat once he let go of you. “we heard her yelling that she couldn’t stand the sight of you and then you’re both blaming each other.”

you hesitatingly looked down to your boots, avoiding their curious gazes. fidgety as you knew you were, you tried not to respond. they heard from that far of our conversation.. oh my go-

as if jaehyun could read your mind, he cleared his throat. “it’s nothing. y/n’s just stubborn as usual. she doesn’t want to admit her fault when i told her jet’s dehydrated. guess she didn’t want to look irresponsible.”

“classic y/n.” your cheeks suffered from hendery’s squeezing palms. “how many times do i have to tell you to behave? c’mon you’re better than this.”

jaehyun sighed in relief that they were convinced with his reasoning.

jet’s snout poked your arm and exhaled, you cursed under your breath for not locking the gate. “then you should know why i’m like this.” you reiterated with a flat smile. “i’m gonna go to the bar for a drink. don’t bother me.”

“oh then we’re coming with! mark! you’re driving!” johnny pulled the boys into jaehyun’s car. “this hurt dude needs cheering up after you nearly ended his career for having kids.”

“maybe it’s better off that way?” you grinned with a tattling tone.

“i hate you so-” jaehyun barked before his voice was shut off by the car door. his expression became funnier with how the vehicle muted his voice.

jet and cash trotted slowly to let the car go first, hendery rode ahead of you as you followed him. beside the roadside was fields of green, laying flat with new flowers that have yet to bloom. by now the horses were galloping alongside the car, you could feel jaehyun shooting daggers at you. the joy to horse ride diminished when you took a glimpse of him pointing at you, sliding his clenched fist from left to right and pointing at his chest.

you’re dead to me. he spoke with his eyes. and you could hear his annoying voice in your head.

you flicked the reins to ride faster, passing hendery and cash. reaching the bar first would make you feel better and it would at least let the neighbourhood know you weren’t hanging out with boys like him. you soon unmounted yourself from jet and led him to an area where he could stay.

the bell chimed and you raised your hand for a simple mocktail. funny how you told the boys you’d be here for a drink yet didn’t plan to get drunk. you sat by the bartender’s while you saw them entering and sat at one table by the window. honestly you could’ve went elsewhere instead but this bar was the closest from home. and right now you really needed to clear your mind.

to clear your mind from jaehyun because you knew he’d be the death of you.

—

and how you ended up on the same table with them was too hazy for you to recall.

“i was like, singing my heart out at one karaoke place after i was rejected from the coffee shop i applied to. then the girl of my dreams had appear while i was all sweaty and sloppy and i was shirtless! it was really-” johnny spoke too fast for you to hear and curled his fingers remembering it.

“second hand embarrassment was too much at that point.” jaehyun chuckled and sipped on his glass.

“but john, you got her to say yes even though you’re high and wild.” mark raised his palm for a fistbump.

mark turned to you. “y/n what’s something you couldn’t forget?”

you smiled slyly towards your childhood friend and hendery’s panicked face resurfaced with begging hands. you feel yourself going tipsy but went for storytelling anyway. “this previous halloween i forced hendery to dress as rapunzel because i wanted to dress as pascal.”

mark let out a contagious laugh which had everyone giggling too. you brought out your cracked screen phone which jaehyun broke and showed a picture of you on a piggyback ride with hendery. the said man cowered himself from the compliments and while you continue to keep him in the spotlight. jaehyun found it unbelievable that you were quickly switched from cranky to giggly when drunk.

“here’s the awesome part,” you slurred your words with hiccuped breaths. “around nine guys asked me to ask for his number and i gave it to them! he was that hot! i could never compete!”

jaehyun oddly cackled out loud and you all turned heads to him. “of course you could never! i mean look at you!”

his friends raised brows as jaehyun was enjoying this a little too much. perhaps taking advantage of your drunken self. “you dress weird and your hair’s a mess. you’re always rude and sometimes smelling like a horse. by the way that’s such a turn off to guys like us. like do you even bathe-”

you were definitely tipsy but you understood his words clear enough to feel a wave of emotions blanket over you. forgotten memories began play in your head and began to sulk.

“yeah i know i’m like this and so what if i’m plain and ordinary?” you whined and the boys held their breaths.

“my parents think i couldn’t take care of myself after i dislocated my shoulder at cross-country.” jaehyun heard you.

“because of that they started to pair me with accomplished men they think could give me a better life. so i misbehave every time they bring a suitor over.” you propped elbows on the table and glared at jaehyun. “you’re the fifth and before you arrived i lied to mom and dad that i recovered, hoping they’d stop and leave me alone but nope! they think you’re the one-”

hendery managed to catch your collapsed body from falling. he let out a soft laugh. “mhm, she spills a little too much when she’s drunk-”

you covered his lips and did several clicks of your tongue. “i’m tipsy! not drunk but tipsy! are you spilling tea about my life to that jerk?”

he scoffed lightly. “of course not! i didn’t tell him anything.” he lied.

you pinched his cheek. “i doubt it. you’re a talkative donkey! they should cast you to be part of shrek musical next fall!” you giggled and tried to keep yourself awake from all that drowsiness. your eyes dropping to slumber.

“m’lady.” he fixed you on his side and you were now carried on his back. “jaehyun doesn’t know a thing.” he cooed, giving jaehyun a wink to zip his mouth shut regarding the topic.

small sobs began to bubble out from you, you clung onto hendery. “ah jaehyun? you know that jerk called me impudent? he said i always cause troubles but what choice to i have? i don’t want to be betrothed!” you wailed and mark and johnny raised brows at jaehyun as soon as you said it. “hendery he called me impudent! he’s just like dad and i hate them both!” you leaned on his shoulders.

“but do you really hate jaehyun?” johnny smirked as he enjoyed how open you were compared to being sober. jaehyun noticed where this was going and tried to stop him but the tall lad shushed him when you spoke.

“yes!” you slurred with a lopsided smile and narrow brows, which looked strange as they couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad thing.

“i hate him because he’s so prideful! ‘jeong jaehyun, veterinary medicine student’ my butt. i should’ve been one too but daddy said no.” you pout, soon knocking out. “i hate how.. handsome that jerk looks-”

your friend hopped slightly and quickly got out of the bar so you wouldn’t cause a scene any further. “i’ll bring her to my place, it’s just a block from here. you guys can go ahead.” he told the guys to call it a night. “i’ll take jet and cash to my stables at home. see y’all tomorrow.”

they got on the car and started the engine. jaehyun read the atmosphere among them, he fixed the front mirror and saw mark and johnny with questioning looks. “what?”

“did you really call y/n impudent?” mark played with the buttons of the window.

jaehyun stepped on the pedal to head to your place. his friends bombarded him with what if’s and was too tired to respond. but just to shut them up, he replied.

“i was angry when i said that. i didn’t really mean-”

“do you think she meant it when she said you’re handsome?” johnny asked to cut off the weird vibe lingering while mark propped his fists to rest.

“she’s drunk. not like she can remember it anyway.” jaehyun clenched on the wheel.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you woke up in hendery’s bed with a tray of breakfast on his desk table. you slid it towards yourself to eat when a folded paper fell from underneath.

i saw jaehyun at the grocery store earlier, he asked me to pass this breakfast to you. also! he said he’ll be at the barn’s loft. now go meet him. ~hendery

great, he pissed you off yesterday and he was the last person you wanted to see today. what was his plan now? he prepared breakfast and yet what was the use of eating the meal when it has gone cold? you tied your hair to a top bun and wore your glasses, quickly grabbing your coat, onto to jet’s back and went to the barn.

the sun’s heat was enough to make you warm on the way there. jaehyun swung his legs while he waited. he stared at the ground when a shadow appeared, you stood at the entrance asking him to come down.

he did that, but there was a different air around him. it was the same air as those four days of silence between the two of you. “at least you’re not late.” he slid his palms into his back pockets.

“did you want to talk to me about something?” you asked with a slice of bread in your mouth. he nodded with intense eyes. “then make it quick. i have to make my rounds-”

“i’ll go with you.” jaehyun suggested and you choked on your bread.

“what?” you gulped on the huge piece stuck in your throat and stopped him from walking. “why not tell me now?”

he pulled you to jet’s stall and pushed your back to mount on the saddle. “‘cause it’s better if they don’t see us talking normally when we’re supposed to be at each other’s throats.”

he’s definitely up to something..

jaehyun rode a bike, leading you and jet through woods and up on a hill where its summit towers part of your family’s lands. from here you could see your house and tiny figures you assumed were his friends. you haven’t gotten a clue why jaehyun was being nice again. and if he was, why today? why bring you all the way here to have this conversation? you couldn’t think of anything at all and maybe you should’ve eaten the meal he prepared for you.

when the winds blew, jaehyun spoke in a soft voice. he was awkward, you could tell that, but what he did was something you didn’t expect. he leaned back with his palms on the grass. “i’m sorry i called you names.”

hm.. you better be.

that apology alone pierced your heart, in a good way. if he was tired from all the negativity and endless banters, so were you. it had been fifteen days after all. maybe this was a cool break before continuing with the pact. “which ones?” you copied his position and counted your fingers one by one. “there’s ugly.. shorty.. lazy ass.. a no brainer-”

“i didn’t call you tha-” he paused, his lips forming an ‘o’ until he pursed them together seeing you mimic him on his laptop. “right. i implied it when you wanted me to teach you equine studies. anyway the bottom point is, i’m sorry for calling you impudent.”

you chuckled, but to him it sounded more of a scoff. “haven’t heard that in ages. never expected i’d hear that again.” you looked at him, he did too, there was a stare down before you spoke again.

“but yeah. i guessed you did that to fulfill your part for the pact. the guys were probably nearby and you thought of that to spark up the conversation. are we done?”

jaehyun rested his arm on his knees. “no that’s not what i meant- i’m being sincere here.”

“okay? then tell me what’s on your mind. you brought me up here. it’s gotta be something worth my time.”

“i feel like the pact just brings the worse out. and whenever it does, i don’t feel myself anymore. like this is not me.”

he picked up a dandelion, letting the wind take its soft pieces. he wished his feelings weren’t easily swayed like the flower’s petals. he knew he was easily hotheaded, stubborn and mr. perfect, but should he always be like these?

“then who is the real you?” you caught some flying pieces of the flower before looking back at him for answers.

“a studious douche who got his heart broken by his ex.” he shrugged and waited for your bicker, but you sat there with shocked eyes and struggled to find what to say. “yeah, in case you’re still surprised, i do have a heart for people.”

“i heard you.” you flicked his temple.

he held back fists from hitting back. “hey why’d you hit me?”

“it’s my way of being affectionate.” you laid on the grass and while he copied, you thought that jaehyun had a point, how the pact seemed a good approach yet with deteriorating results.

“by being violent?” jaehyun moaned as he asked. “ever thought that a pat in the back would be better?”

you glared at him. “let’s continue what we’re doing with another condition.. no personal or evil intentions whatsoever, or maybe a slight hint that we’d start dissing. we’re doing this for ourselves and..” you cleared your throat. “..helping out a friend.”

it made total sense, because he knew how much of an effect it did when the purpose of the pact was done unconsciously and naturally. he let out a tight and breathless sigh between his lips. “i’m your friend? after calling you all that?”

“i just needed something to describe you. would calling you a douche make you feel better after you apologised?” you stood up and headed downhill.

“well you did call me ‘handsome’ last night.” jaehyun singsonged and carefully walked down the stoned steps.

you froze at how stupid and blabbermouth you could be whenever you went to the bar. “i don’t remember, since i’ve been studying the things you taught me.”

“you can ask the others if you think i’m lying.”

“y’know what? i take back the condition i said.” you quickly hopped on jet to head back. “don’t bother me!”

“what do you mean studying? you’re planning to pursue vet sci? hey!”

“yeah.” you made jet walk in circles around the confused man, and your one-word response had jaehyun confirming you already decided to tell your father about it.

and it’d be on christmas eve too.

—

for almost half an hour marg couldn’t contain her feelings after you told her what had happened. marg squealed and you quickly covered her mouth since the door wasn’t entirely closed. she squeezed the pillow and hid herself behind it.

“he apologised?! such a gentleman! i mean mark didn’t really tell me the details but jaehyun really felt guilty?” she put the pillow down and crawled next to you on your bed.

as to why she reacted this way remained unclear to you, you figured it was probably she watched too many rom-coms with johnny in the past few days. “i admit, it was considerate of him to do that. but it doesn’t prove he’s already a good man.” you fixed your files and past researches of veterinary science. “sometimes an apology isn’t enough.”

your sister nudged you in a force causing you to stumble in your stance. “ey you’re too mean. him apologising is already enough of a sign that he’s a good one, and raised well.”

“i don’t know marg.” you slumped on your bed. “my head’s hurting because of him.”

she raised a brow and gave you a teasing look. “by thinking of him or he just couldn’t get out of your head?” she kicked her feet to escape your balling fists.

“why are you reacting if it’s not true?!” her giggles grew in volume as she brought out her phone record your reaction.

“get out of my room!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun walked around the mart in response to yet another order from you. it had to be a day before christmas eve too. he should be feeling the very essence of christmas and because of you, he didn’t. people who happened to pass by him swore they saw a walking corpse, while some sensed a spreading dark cloud hovering above him.

his demeanour quickly shifting and changing as if the clouds blocked his rays of sunshine. he was mumbling to himself and those who stood close by took careful small steps away from jaehyun, for he sounded like he was enchanting a spell.

he thought about it a lot— whether it there’d be a difference between the two of you if you hadn’t taken back that condition. because now that he was controlled like a pawn again, he wasn’t going to back down or lose to you. at least for the past few days since then he saw an improvement. you weren’t as violent, not a single word of hate from you nor were they intentional. it was obvious you were helping out. a small smile managed its way to resurface until he saw a reflection of himself looking like an idiot. jaehyun, you’re a fool. you shouldn’t be feeling this.

ignoring his subconscious, he turned a heel at the next grocery aisle when a voice attracted attention, at least to him it sounded like hendery. hearing your name from an unfamiliar man’s lips had him peeking secretly at a distance. “i suppose y/n’s behaving well with jaehyun?”

“better than everyone expected.” hendery followed him with hands deep in pockets. “aside their petty arguments, she gets along with him, mr. y/l/n.”

“that’s good to hear. i knew the jeong’s would never fail my expectations. their son is in vet school, yes?”

the mentioned name chilled him to the bone. he wasn’t to supposed to be feeling in this manner yet the very presence of your father already had gotten his shoes glued to the ground. hendery nodded and continued to walk along with him. “i hope he doesn’t encourage her about it too much. having y/n marry him would keep her quiet about ever continuing vet school.”

jaehyun’s back grazed the products he lightly leaning upon and stood still in his thoughts. he wasn’t the type to eavesdrop on others, let alone your family issues. although he was briefly told about your rocky relationship with your father and couldn’t hear much of the conversation, he shouldn’t care or meddle with it but.. did mr. y/l/n really think that?

and he remembered how you told him you’d pursue veterinary.

he fished for his phone with certainty that he would tell you what he had heard. he nearly dropped his phone when it rang and your name appeared as the caller. staring at it for a while, never in his life had he ever hesitated before— given that he was a straight forward person, he wanted to tell you.

and he didn’t know why he decided to keep his mouth shut and stayed behind, instead of doing the opposite. hendery noticed him beside the hundreds of chocolate chip buckets. “oh jaehyun!” he greeted, making your father turn his head around. “come here!”

jaehyun pressed his lips for being caught, steadily and unwilling to go them. he wished that now would be the appropriate time to be walking on super glue, he really didn’t have the mood to talk to your father. it wasn’t the right time as their conversation about you would probably escalate from there.

“hello mr. y/l/n, i’m-” he greeted, unknowingly staring at him longer because you were his carbon-copy.

“i know you’re jaehyun and i’ve been updated enough that i wouldn’t have to be physically at my residence to know your good qualities.”

“glad to know someone’s giving you the correct information.” jaehyun smiled, subtly gazing straight at hendery with more pressure on the tone of the name. hendery then clamped his lips to a close, regretting he should’ve minded his words carefully.

mr. y/l/n nodded with a chuckle— even hendery rarely saw him doing so, ever. and this only proved that there wouldn’t be a better groom fit for you other than the son of his childhood friends. “i like your personality. mind joining me for tea?”

jaehyun read the situation, and what your father was up to. he had to listen for another half hour even though he felt his phone continually vibrating then stopping. he knew it was you, but how could he answer when the person you grew to hate was with him at this moment? one word from him through a phone call would make you go berserk.

anyone could see that jaehyun was fighting a mental dilemma. for anyone it would be an easy question to answer; free food, you’re in. his future father-in-law asked for company, sure why not. jaehyun felt like he only one answer, and it had to be a correct one. he gulped and though he eyes wavered, he agreed anyway. “i don’t mind, but y/n would probably be moody if i don’t return immediately.”

“mhm, no worries. i won’t keep you long.” mr. y/l/n said, and jaehyun didn’t know why he had a small heart attack on what possibly could follow.

he lead him to a restaurant, hendery nudged the troubled-looking dimpled man. “sorry dude. he likes snacking on things but i’ll try to divert his attention so you can go to y/n asap.”

—

the relieved sigh didn’t last long when looked up from the ground. jaehyun spotted you crossing arms with a slight worrisome look. your fingers then pointed at the kitchen window and it looked like his soul left his body and his footsteps on the ankle-high snow. the curtains indoors brushed to one side with his parents facing back from the windowsill at the upper balcony.

his heart was beating his chest as if it wanted to go out. he planned to tell you what he and your father talked about, but in that previous hour he missed out your text messages and calls— not knowing they were that important. now he knew why they were.

you took his phone and clicked on the lock button, he didn’t check your means to reaching him. they were still in the lockscreen. “i know you’re a seenzoner but you shouldn’t ignore important calls! i was calling you an hour ago because your parents came so suddenly. did you know about their change of plans?”

he gave you other paper bag and made his way inside. “no they were supposed to arrive tomorrow.” to you jaehyun seemed grumpy for doing groceries, but it was obviously not the case when kept looking elsewhere. he bit his inner gums in question as to why he was venting out his irritation at you instead of the revelation that was told to him.

you followed him in and began bring out the items to set the remaining food on the kitchen island. something told you not to go overboard with the planned argument you had in mind, but you couldn’t handle the way he was acting now, as well as giving you the sudden silent treatment. behaving this way was such a wrong timing and you decided to cut the silence before it made you feel worse than you already were. “you good?”

“y-yeah.” he tilted down to take a quick look at you while realising lately how you hadn’t been sleeping well. the puffiness under your eyes was proof. he cleared his throat. “uh, i should be asking you but have you been studying.. lately? or have you been staying up all night?” he asked, changing the subject.

he twitched at your outburst excitement with your palms rested on his arm, shaking it vigorously. now that he reminded you, you gestured him for a whisper. “i found another way to stop this marriage without us hurting each other.”

what? his eyes grew big.

“aren’t you hurting me now?” he cleared his throat, referring to the reddening spot on his skin from your grip. he knew what you meant. he knew you’ve been sitting in your bed the whole day, reading e-books and going over past lectures documents.

“if i tell my dad that i’m pursuing vet school again, i think this time he’d let me. i’m confident because i do have a degree in equestrian sport science. imagine the benefit if have a degree in veterinary?” you opened a carton of milk to drink. “i wonder if my credits’ still applicable?”

“you sure you wanna do that?” jaehyun held the top your head, gripping it as if it were a basketball. “it’s gonna take you years to finish.”

“scared to have a competitor in the field, jaehyun?” your voice challenged him.

he wasn’t scared at all, he loved competitions as well as proving he could do things. but, he was scared for you. he knew the outcome of all this because it was already planned out. he was told by your father during tea break before he arrived here.

chills slowly went down your spine with that one, subtle, short silence from him.

“i’m not scared. it’s just that..” you shot up your head at his remark. he trailed off and shut his lips seeing your parents enter the living room with his beloveds.

“just what?” you stared at him with a long hum.

he had to lie and keep his opinions to himself. “are you able to take on hard words in that tiny brain of yours?” jaehyun scoffed, leaning in closer to provoke an argument with his hands patting your head.

“hey! you’re insulting my height, not my brain!” he heard your innocent whines as if they were precious— too precious that he wanted to protect you than to fight you; just for tonight.

and for the first time he was laughing sincerely at you.

week three had you imagining things, that he would look at you so differently. instead of horns they’d be halos, softer looks than tensed ones, and most of all you wonder what changed him within a day. it was confusing that he would show another side of him, then go back to what he was when you first met him.

but tonight? his possibility of change soon went void.

during dinner, whether or not it was right, that choice you made became one of the two things you regret to do and say. your father said his ultimatum in a low voice by the hallway, isolated from everyone enjoying the celebration.

“dad, please. i’ve done what you want. i think it’s time you’d allow me to do what i want.” you kept your head low in all hope this would be your final time to ask. “i’m successful as an equestrian, i hope to be more so as a veterinarian. please let me continue. i don’t want to get married yet-”

“still holding onto it, y/n?” he scoffed and took quick glances at his surroundings. “i’ve done everything for you to be known, raised you to be the best rider out there-”

and he too, held with the same stupid reason. “no dad! i raised myself to be the best because heavens knows how much damage it’ll cost me if i failed you-”

“this is the last time i saying it, you’re never going to be one.”

“but dad! you know how badly i want to be a vet-” you whined and hoping you wouldn’t cry because you promised yourself you wouldn’t.

“y/n you’re marrying jaehyun solely for that reason!” he whisper-yelled, making your heart squeeze tight because you could see how your complaints have pissed him off. “he seemed to be agreeing with me after i invited him for tea.” he fixed his hair.

w-what did he just say?..

he loosened the top button of his shirt; his gaze still scared you like it did that night. he held his temples to reason out with you. “discipline yourself tonight. i do not want hear anything from you about this matter ever again.” the impact of his tone shattered you. not only your mood but with how you perceived jaehyun as a whole.

you couldn’t remember much afterwards, anger roamed around your head and as much you kept your composure, jaehyun has a sharp eye. you’ve been quiet since coming from the hallway, hours have passed too since your father called you upstairs.

“are you alright?” jaehyun leaned on the refrigerator while you took some fruits from it. figured that you were completely ignoring him, he grabbed your favourite sweater to snap you out of your clouded feelings. “are we doing the pact now?”

it was getting suffocating being next to him. the audacity of what he did disgusted you. “hey tell me-”

you shut the fridge’s door with much force, held your breath and went to the sink to wash them. “i’m not doing it. and what’s there to tell you? just because i opened up to you that doesn’t mean we’re already close.” you coldly answered with a irritated look.

jaehyun was abruptly taken back, his hand let go of your clothes. “why are you’re suddenly like this?”

you began washing the apples as well as peeling their skin. “you’re not born yesterday, jaehyun. this is my usual self.”

“no y/n, i’m not talking about-”

“what the hell is your deal?” jaehyun could hear you mumble even with the loud blasting of holiday playlists.

“i just want to know if we’re starting the argument,. it seems like you’re doing your part-”

“you knew all along, didn’t you?” the sound of peeling almost excruciating to your ears but nothing more than his reaction to your question. ‘that my dad would refuse my plead.”

painful as it was, his expression changed. he was colder than the snow outside, heartless as a predator and unresponsive like a dead man. he just stared at you straight, acknowledging it with soft wavers of his brown orbs.

and that alone was enough to break you to pieces.

#jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct jaehyun #nct 127 #jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun au #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun angsy

[thefallennightmare]

Hard to Love [2/?]

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Words: 1504

Warnings: this story will have mentions of abuse, mental and physical so please read at your own risk. Some swearing, angst, and a good amount of fluff. Maybe some smut if I’m feeling frisky.

Summary: After moving to a new town all on her own, Reader would do anything for a stable job and income. Even if that means housekeeping for one of Boston’s eligible bachelors. What she didn’t expect was finding herself falling in love with him and him finding out about the past that she was running from.

A/N: Here’s chapter two! Tags are still open! 

For the second day in a row I found myself sitting in my car, trying to gather courage to walk into the house in front of me. Today was my first day cleaning Chris Evan’s house and it would be an understatement to say that I was nervous. 

I was shitting my pants. 

Taking a few deep breaths, I read over the text message for the third time. 

Hey Y/N, it’s Chris. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be on a video call when you arrive so let yourself in through the side door. There’s a list on the kitchen counter for you. Please make yourself comfortable and I’ll be done with my call around noon so we can talk then. Thanks again!

Oh, Dodger will also greet you at the door. Don’t worry, he’s the biggest sweetheart. He’ll smother you in kisses. 

Last night once I got back to my apartment, Laura emailed over the NDA and after reading it over, I realized that this job was really important. Some would just say I’m his maid but in reality, I was going to be helping Chris out with a lot of things. 

Laura was his assistant for business and it seemed like I was his assistant for his personal life. 

I took a quick last glance in my mirror, fixing my hair and make up before taking a deep breath and started walking up the long driveway. My hands shook as I opened the door but all the nerves vanished when I was met at the threshold by 50lbs of fluff. 

“Well hello there. You must be Dodger,” I cooed while giving him an endless amount of love. 

I giggled as Dodger wiggled his butt while I walked inside, the nerves taking over again. As I entered the kitchen, the figure sitting at the table looked over his shoulder and seeing that warm smile melted my heart and immediately put me at ease. 

“Good morning,” he mouthed with a wave. 

I smiled and returned the waved, motioning that I would get started upstairs. 

Chris nodded, agreeing. 

The list he had left told me everything he wanted done today. 

Clean his bedroom and bathroom. 

Vacuum his guest rooms. 

Clean his entire main floor. 

It was a shortlist but I knew that it would take me all day; not that I was complaining. 

I had saved Chris’ bedroom for last, not finding the courage to step foot inside. It almost seemed illegal, that I shouldn’t be allowed in there. It was stupid for me to feel like that, Chris even said to make myself comfortable. 

His room was the size of my entire apartment. I gawked at the size of it as I took it all in. His king sized bed was placed in the middle of the room, still unmade, and the rest of the furniture matched his bed. The many windows and doors allowed the sun to cast inside, warming the room in a soft glow. 

Dodger had followed me into every room, clearly wondering what I was doing. 

“You’re very curious aren't you?” I smiled. 

After I had cleaned the bathroom, jealous that he had that tub that could easily fit three people, I started to clean his room. As I was making his bed, I felt a presence behind me. 

“Sorry, I had every intention of making my bed this morning but I slept in way too late and almost missed my call.” 

Looking up in the doorway, I gave Chris a warm smile. 

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.” 

“Are you finding everything alright?” He questioned while leaning against the doorway. 

“Yeah, thank you.” 

He nodded. “Of course. I’m going to head out for a run, I'll be back in a bit..” 

After giving him a small goodbye, I was left alone with my thoughts; thoughts of Chris shirtless and sweaty. Except he wasn't running, he was on top of me in this bed. 

“Oh god,” I muttered. “This is not going to be easy.” 

After a couple hours I had finally finished upstairs and as I walked into the kitchen, I found my heart warming for the second time today. 

Chris was making some lunch and had an extra plate set out. As he heard me walk in, he looked up then motioned towards the stool next to him. 

“I thought you could take a lunch break.” He mentioned. 

I hadn’t even thought about bringing something to eat so I was thankful that Chris had done that. 

“Thank you,” I said while sitting down. 

“So, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself. I figured we could get to know each other since we’ll be seeing each other a lot.” Chris placed the sandwich in front of me before sitting down next to me. 

“There’s not a lot to know. I moved here a few months ago for a fresh start.” I said. 

He could tell by the tone of my voice that I didn’t want to go into more details about why I needed a fresh start so he moved on. 

“Any pets?” He asked. 

I shook my head. “Just me.” 

There was an unknown look in Chris’ eye at my answer, something that I couldn’t figure out. 

We both chatted for a few more minutes, just enjoying each other's company. Our personal bubble had burst when his phone started to ring. He excused himself, stepping into the other room, while I busied myself with cleaning up our lunch. 

I wasn’t sure exactly how long he was on the phone for but from the way his shoulders tensed and the muscles in his backs contracted, I knew that it wasn’t a phone call he wanted to have. 

“Y/N?” 

I stopped scrubbing the stove and looked over to Chris, another unreadable look on his face. Worry etched my bones, wondering if something had shown up on my background check. 

“Everything alright?” I asked. 

He nodded. “Yeah. That was my agent, I have to go shoot for a few weeks.” 

“Oh,” I said, “That’s good, right?” 

He nodded again. “Yeah definitely. I just want to make sure you’re alright with being here by yourself. And if you’re comfortable with coming every day to check on Dodger?” 

I smiled. “Of course.” 

“I’ll obviously pay you extra for it. My mom or brother usually watch him but they’re both out of town.” He rambled on. 

“Chris, it’s fine. I don’t mind.” I reassured him. 

“Thank you, Y/N.” He smiled before excusing himself. 

Hours passed as I kept busy cleaning the rest of the house while Chris busied himself with packing his suitcases. There was a sadness about him leaving. I just started working for him and I liked the idea of having him around, even though we had just met yesterday. But I knew that with who he was that he would be in and out a lot. 

The clock had struck six, loud chimes from the grandfather clock in the front entryway echoing throughout the large home. 

I smiled at Dodger, who had walked me to the mudroom where my things had been kept. “Well bud, on to job number two. I’ll see you tomorrow though.” 

As I was about to walk out, Chris had come out of nowhere, causing me to jump. 

“Jesus Christ!” I yelled while clutching my chest. 

“I am so sorry,” he laughed. “I’m usually a lot louder on my feet.” 

I shook my head, laughing along with him. “No, it’s okay. I’m very jumpy, that’s all.” 

“I’ll remember that,” he laughed again. “All finished?” 

“Yeah, I hope you’re happy with everything.” I said. 

“It already smells a lot better than it used too,” Chris joked. 

He dug into his pockets before placing a small silver key into my hand. I noticed his hand was a lot softer than yesterday, immediately warming my body with his soft touch. 

“I thought it would be easier for you to have your own key,” he noted. 

“Thank you,” I nodded. 

We both stood there in his mudroom, a few spaces away from each other, staring into each other’s eyes. His hazel eyes piercing into my soul and causing my insides to melt. I watched as his tongue slowly glided over his lips and I bit my own, trying to stop the burn I felt in between my legs. 

The sudden sexual tension was noticeable between us, encasing us in a small bubble. The bubble popped when my phone dinged, a reminder that I had to be at my second job in less than an hour. 

Forcing myself away from his gaze, I mentioned to my phone. “I should get going, I don't want to be late for job number two.”

Chris’ lips turned down in a frown. “Long day?” 

I shrugged. “It’s fine. My other job really isn’t that hard.” 

Without going into more detail about it, I gave him a small wave goodbye and walked out the door, letting it shut behind me.

TAGS:

@kelbabyblue 

@patzammit​ 

@jennmurawksi13

@thesecretlifeofdaydreamss

#chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans angst #chris evans x reader #chris evans and reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans and y/n #reader instert

[my-darling-luna]

Your Majesty Chapter 3

Just a reminder that NONE of these gifs are in anyway supposed to represent what the reader looks like, I just use them for a basic look of the dress. I try to be as inclusive as I can be in my writing and if there is anyway that I can be more inclusive, I would love the feedback. Remember to take care of yourself today! I love you!!

Your Majesty Masterlist

Summary- It has been more than a decade since the Kingdom of Ultron lost their princess. (Y/n) was just a 17 year old that didn’t know much about her past. Realizations happen and lives are crossed. How will (Y/n) handle the new pressure?

Stucky x reader

—

“Murdered?” (Y/n) sat in astonishment. The people who cared for her almost all her life were dead. The hatred and disgust for them slowly washed away, leaving only despair and anger at Hydra.

The normal ride took a little under half the time than usual as the horses were no longer at a walk, but rather at a fast jog across enemy lines. The palace doors opened, Vision pulling a dazed (Y/n) along by the arm.

“How was it-” Tony’s face dropped at the sight of what was going on.

“Her caretakers were murdered and a clearly marked threat was on the wall.” Vision said to the king as Pepper pulled her step-daughter tightly into a hug.

“Vision, Rhodey, get everyone into the planning room. I want letters out to every main kingdom in the surrounding area mentioning the urgency for them to show up now.” The three men walked down a corridor and into a room, leaving the two women in the entry way alone.

“Why don’t we go see Morgan, okay? Maybe you can help her with reading.” Pepper’s hand ran up and down (Y/n)’s arm in a soothing way while walking her into the bedroom to the left of her parents’.

“Mommy! Sissy!” (Y/n) cooed at the little girl, sniffing the impending tears back.

“Hello sweetheart, what are you doing there?” (Y/n) sat down on the floor just as she had been taught; with her back straight and her legs crossed at the ankles. Morgan slowly walked over to her sister, her chubby arms held out to grab her cheeks.

“Why cryin’?” Morgan patted (Y/n)’s cheek.

“‘Cause I’m sad.”

“No be sad anymore.” Morgan threw herself into (Y/n)’s arms before pulling away after she got distracted by the colors of her blocks. (Y/n) dabbed away the tears away with a handkerchief so that her makeup wasn’t more messed up than it already was.

(Y/n) took a breath, her feelings were jumbled and her heart ached. It was her fault that her parents were dead. Parents, no that wasn’t right, they weren’t her real parents. Caretakers like Vision called them? No that was insensitive. Foster parents? She could do that. It was her fault that her foster parents were dead. She wanted to hate them so much for keeping her away from her family, but she couldn’t. What would she do if she was Mama or Papa? Would she keep a child away from their own family so that they could be with her? No.

Poking took (Y/n) out of her train of thought. Morgan held a book tight in her grasp while poking her older sister.

“Mommy told me that you would read to me.” (Y/n) smiled and nodded before getting up and sitting on the small toddler bed. Morgan scrambled in behind her and settled in between her legs.

“You ready, sweetheart?” Morgan nodded as (Y/n) opened the book so that both could read. “Once upon a time-”

***

The patter of the rain on the window was easy to lull (Y/n) into a day dream. She was clad in a thin white nightgown with her legs drawn in close to her stomach. Her arms traced the length of her calves absentmindedly.

A knock pierced the quiet room and (Y/n)’s head turned to greet the reason for the noise.

“May I come in?” Her father asked kindly, a mood that was only brought out by his children or Pepper. (Y/n) nodded and the door was closed. Tony sat down on the bed, his weight sinking the mattress. “I meant to ask you earlier, but I’ve been so busy with planning. How are you?” She shrugged.

“I’ve been worse, but I’ve definitely have felt better.” Tony rubbed his daughter’s hand before moving closer to her. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” (Y/n) paused for a second before nodding. 

“I...I just guess that I feel like a bad person.” She looked up at her father who gave her a questioning look. “I mean, I feel like I hate them sometimes, you know? They didn’t even try to send me back to you or anything even though they knew. But then I think about it and I realize that they took great care of me and loved me no matter how I acted.” (Y/n) sobbed, her words were broken off with hiccups at some points. “I hate them, but I love them and that makes me feel terrible.” Tony sighed and tried to make eye contact with his daughter who turned her head away.

Tony tilted his daughter’s head to look at him. “It’s okay to feel like that because I have.” She looked at him with a questioning look. “I haven’t told you much about my parents in the past week and a half that you’ve been with us, but my father- your grandfather- was the toughest person to live with and for the longest time, I resented him, almost hated him. He never seemed like he was proud of me and never showed me any love. I didn’t realize until I was older and he had passed away, that he just wanted the best for me; he just didn’t know how to show his love. And I know that your issues aren’t the same, but I also know that you loved them a lot. It’s okay and normal to feel some type of animosity towards them. You just need to realize that they needed you as much as you needed them at that point, and it doesn’t make it right, but it made them human.” (Y/n) nodded, her tears clearing up. 

“Thanks dad.” Tony’s eyes glossed over, but as quickly as it arrived, it disappeared. 

“No problem, okay?” (Y/n) nodded and he kissed her forehead. “Do you remember the party I talked about the morning after you came home?” She nodded. “Well all of the surrounding kingdoms are going to join us. It is scheduled in two days and it’ll be a good chance to meet some new people.” Tony’s confidence and smile were infectious and (Y/n) felt better after those words. “Now get up so we can have some breakfast together.” He left the room and soon Lillian came in and put her in a simple gown just for the day. 

***

“Can you see that, Morgan?” The little girl nodded and giggled at the sight of the horses out grazing the field. (Y/n) held the little girl on her hip before wrapping her arm around Morgan’s waist. 

“They fluffy!” Tony and Pepper watched the two from the inside of the castle. A window outlooked the barns and their two girls stood right outside of it. 

“They’re okay.” Pepper mumbled to her husband as she leaned into his side. Tony put his arm around her and gave a quick squeeze to their intertwined hands. 

“Yeah, I know. I guess I just get nervous sometimes, especially with everything with Hydra and (Y/n). I just feel like something bad is going to happen, you know?” Pepper hummed in agreement.

“We won’t let anything happen to them, you know that, don’t you? Our girls are safe.” 

“Mom? Dad?” (Y/n)’s voice called as soft patters of shoes were heard on the tile. Pepper and Tony turned around to see their daughters, Pepper’s heard warming every time (Y/n) called her ‘mom’.

“Yes sweetheart?” Pepper asked, her voice soft. 

“Morgan wants to go riding, I wanted to see if you wanted to as well.” The two adults looked at each other and nodded. 

“We’d love to, why don’t we go get changed and meet back here. You have Morgan under control?” (Y/n) nodded and smiled. 

“Let’s go get changed, bug.” (Y/n) mumbled to the little girl before walking down the corridor to both of their bedrooms. “Are you excited for tomorrow?” Morgan enthusiastically nodded, a twinkle in her brown eyes. “Good.”

***

“Good afternoon, (Y/n).” Lillian’s sweet voice echoed in the huge room as she shut the door. 

“Hello, Lillian.” Lillian watched as (Y/n) rifled through dresses to find the one that she wanted to wear for tonight. “What do you think of this one?” She held up a tan dress with flowers flowing up the skirt and the bodice.

“I think it’s really pretty.”

“Do you think it’s too much?” Lillian shook her head.

“I know that you’ve never went to one of your father’s parties before, but there’s no ‘too much’ there.” (Y/n) smiled back at Lillian.

“Deal. Okay, I think this is it.” Lillian helped her get into her dress. “Have you seen the ballroom yet?” (Y/n) asked, starting light conversation with someone who she would call a friend.

“Yes, it’s beautiful and I think you’re going to love it.” Lillian moved her over to the vanity and started to blot her skin with makeup.

“I don’t know,” she made eye contact with the girl behind her, “I think this is a little much for a girl who just got here.”

“I think it is enough for a lost princess that was found after sixteen years.” (Y/n) shrugged while Lillian finished the last of her makeup.

“Say hi to all the princes that you’ll meet there. They’re all super handsome.” Lillian wiggled her eyebrows which made the two laugh.

“I’ll make sure that they know who you are.” Lillian blushed, not thinking that (Y/n) would take it seriously.

“Good luck!” She called as (Y/n) walked out of the room.

“Thank you.” (Y/n) blew a kiss to her before walking down the hallway and over to where she was supposed to meet her parents and sister.

“You look wonderful, sweetheart.” Pepper kissed her daughter on the cheek and (Y/n) flushed.

“Thank you mom.” Tony kissed her cheek as well, whispering the same compliment to her. She was about to say thank you, but she was so distracted at the sight of her little sister. “You look beautiful, bug.” Morgan giggled. Her dress was a light pink with glitter tulle and a small tiara on her head.

“Thank you!” The four were distracted by the sound of the announcer saying her father’s, mother’s, and sister’s names out loud.

“Good luck, princess.” Tony squeezed his oldest’s hand before walking through the door with the rest of the family. (Y/n) stood by the door, waiting for it to open and for her name to be called.

“Princess (Y/n) of Ultron.” The announcer called and the huge oak doors opened. (Y/n) stepped out onto the balcony and looked down to all of the people below in the ballroom. Her hands were clasped loosely and her back was rigid as she listened to the clapping from down below. This was her new life.

—

Taglist- @austynparksandpizza @aikeia @simplyfandomish @baby-noodles​ @lili-ann-love​ @rebloggingeverything​ @spookyparadisesheep

#stucky x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fantasy #fluff #love #bucky barnes #stark reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #royalty #x stark!reader #marvel x reader #reader insert

[doubleyeww]

december life update

my grandfather who’s been fighting cancer on and off for the past 15 years passed away last week. my mom called me at midnight from the hospital and the next morning i took the bus to her house and from there went over my grandma’s. no one had anything planned for the wake so i offered to make a slideshow to put on at the funeral home if she gave me pictures to scan because i remembered doing the same thing for my aunt donna on my dad’s side when she died back in 2013. she liked the idea so i went home and made what turned out a little more like a movie where the camera pans across pictures of him edited to his favorite songs because he always loved every kind of music. for whatever reason i’m the only person in my entire family of 200+ people who knows how to do something like that so i had to stay up all night to get it done in time. one of my cousins sat next to me to keep me company but she kept wanting me to step out and smoke w her and i was like i want this to turn out good i’m not gonna do that to nan. she slept over for a few days so we could go buy clothes then get ready and go to everything together. we both cried every day. i saw pictures of him when he was around my age for the first time. he still lived in brooklyn and it was the 60′s. there was a big black and white one of him passed out on the couch at a party with his friends and another where he was holding a gun smirking at the camera and smoking a cig. one of his old friends said he was a singer at one point. i’m always gonna be sad that i never got to know him as anything other than strict and perpetually grumpy. i know he taught himself guitar. at the wake i reconnected with the cousin i’m closest in age to. we were baby friends like some of my first memories are of us at her house. when my family lived on long island we used to see each other all the time and even after we moved she would come over to stay at least once a year. but we haven’t hung out since we were like 12 because of family drama that we were each “involved in” through our respective proximities to different adults. it was almost weird how fast we picked up right where we left off though. like other people were even commenting on it. she came right up to me and hugged me as soon as she walked in and then we got drunk together at the restaurant after. i’m going to her salon next week so she can do my hair for christmas ie cut, color, fix my bad bleach job and black stripe roots. i usually do my own hair when i have time bc i don’t trust anyone to do it right but i haven’t had any because of moving, then getting caught up on all the school i missed while moving, then looking for a job, then working, then settling into a new place, and then finals. but she showed me pictures and she’s really good. i graduated college today but i only feel vaguely annoyed about it. it took me 5 years to finish a 4 year degree but no one in my family ever does that period so it’s a bigger deal than it should be. i still wish i never went or had the balls to drop out but here i am i guess. the other day i found out that my grandpa never even finished high school. he got kicked out for fighting and sent to a reform school and then dropped out of that and went on to have a fun life and a job with a pension. not that that’s easy to do anymore but still.

a lot of other things happened but this is already way too long

[purpletaecup]

7 ☾ i loved you. i’m sorry.

warnings: depictions of panic attacks

notes: writing the end of this chapter made me cry t^t luv u guys, thank you for the support. i love writing this story so much! feel free to send an ask to the IFU universe characters or vent to me about them! also, there is a picture in here that i drew!!!! it’s not that great but I hope you guys like it :-)

word count: 4,471

“Who are you?”

Those words echo in Yoongi’s ear as if it was his final judgment from the king of hell. He staggered but held onto the edge of your hospital bed to keep from falling. He could only look at you in shock and silence while the doctor came up from behind him and examined you.

“Miss Kim, how are you feeling? Is there any pain?” The doctor asked.

You rubbed and blinked a couple of times. Everything was still a little blurry.

“M’head hurts and my body is so sore,” you reply. “Why am I here?”

“What’s the last thing you remember, Miss Kim?”

Rubbing your temples, you groaned in frustration, not remembering how you ended up in this hospital bed.

“I can’t remember. Everything’s really fuzzy right now.”

The doctor turns to Yoongi, who sat himself down on the chair further away from you.

“Do you recognize him?”

You looked at the man in the chair and examined him for a while. There’s a chill that runs through Yoongi’s body as he sees your eyes roam him from head to toe. He almost expects to see some kind of anger or resentment on your face, but receives nothing but confusion.

You turn back to the doctor shaking your head. He opens his mouth to say something but Yoongi beats him to it.

“It’s okay, doc, we can talk about that later, but is she okay? You said your head was hurting, right, Yn?” He says, looking back at you.

Cautiously, you nod at him before looking at the doctor again.

“It’s throbbing and it feels like there’s drums banging in my head.”

“This is all completely normal. You were in a pretty severe car accident and received a pretty worrisome head injury. You were unconscious for about five days, so your body has already started its healing process. In the coming weeks, you might experience some delayed symptoms related to the concussion you received.”

“What kind of symptoms? Is she going to be okay?” Though shocked as he was with your current predicament, Yoongi couldn’t help but worry even more.

“Mr. Min, if you would just let me continue, I can give you and Miss Yn all the answers you need. Because of the nature of the accident, she received a pretty bad head injury resulting in a concussion I believe to be grade II or III.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked.

“It’s just a way to classify the severity of the concussion you received. Since you were in a car accident, you sustained a lot of other injuries but nothing too severe like broken bones. Miraculously enough, you managed to be wheeled away with only lacerations, bruising and a head injury. You were unconscious for about five days and you’re exhibiting signs of amnesia along with blurriness and headaches. These are all signs of a grade II or III concussion, though we won’t know which one until after a few more days of monitoring. Either way, there is the possibility of delayed symptoms like headaches, nausea and imbalance. After we’ve monitored your brain activity and symptoms for a few days, we can determine the grade of concussion clearly and proceed with treatment if needed. I’m leaning a bit more towards a grade II because you’re still able to speak and understand in a normal manner, but the memory loss is worrisome so we’ll have to monitor that and see if it lasts for over 24 hours or not.”

You groaned and tried to sit up straighter, but your muscles, so sore and unused for days, were making it difficult. Yoongi, who had inched closer and closer to you while the doctor spoke, held your hand in one of his while the other helped push you to sit up more comfortably. You murmur a soft thanks in his direction.

“I still don’t understand. You’re saying that I have amnesia, but I feel like I remember everything I should. I know my name, my parent’s names, my friends and my family’s names.” You begin to explain, not really understanding the whole ‘amnesia’ thing.

“How old are you? And what year is it?” The doctor asked while scribbling on your chart.

“19, and it’s 2016.” As soon as those words came out of your mouth, Yoongi fell into a quiet shock once again. Not only had you not recognized him, he was completely erased from your memory. You two met when you were 19, and in your head, you were 19 and you had no idea who he was, so your memory must have conveniently stopped sometime before you met him. He almost scoffs at the irony of it all.

“Miss Kim, you’re 23. You just turned 23 two months ago and it’s currently 2020. Today is the eleventh of November.”

The gasp leaves your mouth before you realize it. Your shaky hands lift up to cover your mouth and you feel tears well up in your eyes from the impact of the doctor’s statement.

“What do you mean? How can I just lose four years in my memory?” Your voice cracks when you ask and through the tears and the shaky breaths, you feel the ghost of a hand on your back.

“That, we don’t know. We haven’t seen an amnesia case this severe in decades, but that’s why we’re going to be monitoring you. Amnesia in head injury patients is pretty unpredictable, but most people who experience amnesia usually only lose memories within the day or at most a week, but it usually never lasts for more than a couple of days. You losing four years of memories doesn’t essentially correlate to how long it will take to regain those memories. For all we know, you could get them back tonight, but like I said, it’s pretty unpredictable.”

It takes a moment for all of it to sink in and absorb. Okay, so you lost four years of memories, but you might regain them soon. Although it’s not a guarantee, it’s still a possibility. You wipe the tears and you steady your breath before turning to the doctor once again.

“What’s he got to do with all of this? I still don’t know who he is or why he’s here.” You ask while pointing to the man beside you.

The doctor looks at you, then looks at him as if expecting him to take the floor and explain things himself.

“I’m Min Yoongi.” He holds out his hand intending you shake yours. You lift your wired up hand to his and he encloses it gently. It’s warm.

“Okay, Min Yoongi, that doesn’t explain how I’m supposed to know you?” You question again, a little bit of attitude in your voice.

It’s silent for a moment. Sensing the tension, the doctor excuses himself, telling them that he’ll send some nurses to help with your headaches and soreness.

Yoongi’s grip tightens on your hand. He contemplates for a little while about how to explain who he was in your life and who you were in his. Can he say that you’re his wife? Will that make it easier for the both of you since you were pregnant? But that was a lie, because you were divorced.

And he had lied to you enough times during your marriage. He thinks it might be the time to be more truthful.

“We were together for four years.” He starts. You wriggle your hand out of his, feeling a little too warm.

“Ah, if we were together for four years, how come I don’t remember you?”

Yoongi thinks about how to answer this one. He hums for a couple of seconds before he asks, “well, in your head, when did you turn 19?”

It was your turn to let a “hmm” pass your lips this time.

“Last week!”

“Okay, so in your timeline, we would have met next week. Two weeks after your birthday, on September 24.”

You nod your head in understanding, but you wince pretty obviously right after. The bruises are aching and you think it’s because you sat up for too long. Yoongi puts his hand on your arm and guides you to lay down.

“Here, just lay down and I’ll sit right here and answer your questions, okay?” He reassures.

After laying down, you try to move your body to the side so you could face where he was sitting.

“So how come you’re here and not my family members?” You asked after a minute’s silence, trying to think of a question to ask. If baffled you that this man you don’t even remember is the only one visiting you in broad daylight after a severe car accident.

“Jin was here with me the day of your accident. He said he was going to take care of you, but he got called in for work and had to travel out of the country a couple of days ago.”

“What about my mom?”

“Actually, I’m not really sure. Jin told me that she was abroad.”

“So you’re the only one left. Must be important if you were in my emergency contacts.”

“I was the only emergency contact you had according to the nurses.”

At this moment, Yoongi looked at you with sad eyes, but you didn’t know why. It felt like it was penetrating you and a nagging voice in the back of your head told you to stop looking at him.

Eager to ease the tension, you ask how the two of you met. Yoongi rests his elbow on the arm rest of the chair, plopping his chin down on his palm.

“Well, I had a music video shoot on the same day as yours. You were doing a photoshoot, I think, and you were using the same set room as me. I went there early to talk to the directors, but you were in the middle of your shoot and I just stayed. I asked my manager to ask for your number and we started talking and then I asked you to be my girlfriend on Halloween at a costume party.” There was a smile on Yoongi’s face when he recalled that particular memory.

He had no recollection of whose party it was, but you two showed up in the best costumes you could muster. Lydia Deetz in her wedding dress and Beetlejuice. The party was fun and the two of you had spent the night in the garden of the venue, just laying down and admiring the stars on Halloween night. It was nearing midnight when the both of you heard a countdown coming from inside. Why there was a countdown for midnight on Halloween, neither of you had a clue, but he took it as a sign and as the grandfather clock chimed, he gave you a gentle kiss and asked (whispered) you to be his girlfriend. 

He remembered your laughter from that night and it brought an even larger smile to his face.

You looked at him in awe, thinking his smile was simply breathtaking.

“So you fell in love with me at first sight, huh?” You asked teasingly.

Yoongi glared at you, but as soon as he spotted your little smirk, the glare melted away and a hesitant smile made its way on his face again.

“For your information, it was at first laugh.” He simply stated. At that, you gave a gentle smile and a quiet giggle into your hand.

In that moment, Yoongi was taken back to the early days of your relationship. The appearance of that gentle smile had catapulted him back to the happier days of your story. It was so different from you in the recent months. You, who had been so sad and exhausted and frustrated. Though pale and bruised and in a hospital bed, you looked much more youthful than before, as if you had reverted back to the person that was happiness personified.

“Right, okay. At first laugh. Never heard that before.”

“I’m serious. It was like hearing bells.”

“That doesn’t sound very appealing.”

“Good bells.”

You laughed again, a little scratchy this time. Yoongi handed you the glass of water on your bedside table.

“Okay, so you fell in love with me at first laugh, then what happened?” You asked, eager to find out about this story. At the moment, you really had no inkling of who this man was, but it intrigued you to hear your apparent love story. You loved a good love story and this one, yours, seemed to have a good start. Because you couldn’t recall it, hearing it from his mouth is like looking into your own love story from an outsider’s point of view.

Yoongi took the glass of water and placed it back on the table.

“Well, we got together obviously, and we were together for four years.”

“Past tense, so you’re an ex-boyfriend?” This was getting more interesting. You have always associated exes with heartbreak (at least the ones you remembered), so this was interesting. You must have been good friends after the breakup for him to be your emergency contact.

“Ex-husband, actually.”

Oh.

That stopped you in your tracks. Now, divorce was something you had never, ever thought about. Mentally, you were 19, and at 19, you were worried about your career. You had suffered your fair share of heartbreaks and cheating bastards in high school and swore off marriage until you got yourself together, so this revelation confused you a little bit. You two met when you were 19, but here you are at, apparently, 23 years old and you’re divorced. That’s actually… unbelievable.

“We started dating on Halloween technically, but I proposed in July and that’s when we agreed to celebrate our anniversaries even though that sounds kind of silly. You thought it would be cute to just have one single date to celebrate our anniversary. Something about Halloween being sacred to you.” Yoongi laughed a little nervously, eager to soften the mood just a little bit. He knows you don’t really remember, but it still feels strange to talk about your divorce.

“Wait, so break this down for me a little bit more. How long were we married for?”

“2 years. So I proposed the July after we started dating and then we got married a year later on the same date.”

“And when did we get divorced?”

Yoongi fiddled with his fingers a bit before answering, “ The end of September. We were drifting for  some months already, so I think divorce was the best option for us.”

You nodded absentmindedly. It was a little strange to be here, in a hospital bed, listening to this man (who is apparently your ex-husband) talk about your divorce. You felt like you should be feeling something more than this, but all you can feel is some kind of nonchalance, like you were listening to a lecture on a subject you didn’t like. Still, this was your love life, something you treasured with all of your heart, and the news of this divorce with a man you can’t even remember is shocking but in a detached way, if that made sense.

“That makes sense. No one should stay in a marriage where the feelings aren’t there anymore.” You say slowly, silently, absorbing this whole situation.

From your peripheral, you see Yoongi just nod, not saying anything. The silence that befell the two of you was somewhat comfortable but solemn at the same time.

The silence was interrupted by murmurs coming from Yoongi.

“Don’t worry. Even though we’re not together, I’ll still take care of you. You don’t have any immediate family and I’m the only one you really know in this city. The least I can do is take care of you.”

You look at him and shake your head. The independent part of you wanted to deny that. Even though you were mentally 19, in actuality you were 23 and you knew how to take care of yourself.

“It’s fine, Yoongi. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

That silences Yoongi for a bit. He remembers you saying that all the time, moreso during the time you decided to quit modelling. He was worried about you, but you always reassured him that there was nothing to worry about. You were a big girl. A woman. When these words came out of your mouth, it reminded him that although you didn’t remember much, you were still the woman he knew deep down.

Before he gets lost in his thoughts again, he lets out a small laugh.

“Yeah, I know you can, but you don’t even know where you live. Do you even remember how to drive? I remember you learned how to drive when you were 21.”

You furrow your brows, angry at his statements, but decide that you can’t refute since what he’s saying is completely true.

“Okay, valid. You can go home if you want, though. They said they were gonna keep me here for a couple of days, so you don’t have to come to the hospital until then, I guess. You look kind of rich… and famous, so you must be busy all the time.”

“I’m my own boss, so I can take my own time off, but I do need to go to the company to settle some things before you get discharged.”

As he talked, your eyes become droopy and were slow to blink.

“Yn, are you okay?” Yoongi asks as he moves closer to your face to examine you. Instinctively, you move back a little, but you’re still close enough to see his eyes up close. You decide to close your eyes.

You mumble a little. “Mhm, just sleepy. Head still hurts.”

Yoongi pulls the blanket up to cover up to your neck and fixes your hair so that it’s not in your face. The intimacy is strange, but not unwelcome, you think.

“Kay, just go back to sleep. I’ll go talk to your doctor then I’m going to the company, okay? I’ll be back tomorrow to give you some of your necessities.” He whispers.

You could barely hear him, but you nod anyways. The disappearance of his warm hand left a cold, empty feeling. Soon enough, you drifted off into sleep.

☽

Yoongi takes one last look at your sleepy form before he quietly leaves the room. He sees your doctor from the corner of his eye and walks up to him. Before he could ask anything, the doctor tells him that they have the results from a scan taken the day prior.

“There seems to be no traumatic damage to the brain, so we have high hopes about a smooth journey to recovery. Of course, she is pregnant, so that might make things a bit more delicate, but nothing that is too difficult to adjust to. She’s right in the middle of her first trimester, so you both really need to be careful. It’s already a miracle that the fetus survived. The rest is up to you guys.”

“And what about the amnesia?”

“We’re still confused about the memory loss. As I mentioned before, the last case of amnesia that was that severe was such a long time ago, and there was no explanation or pattern that was found in the brain to justify the timeline of the memory loss. 4 years is a really long time. We believe she might be more sensitive due to having such a huge gap in her memory. We don’t know what could trigger memories or how she would react to them, but you and the rest of her family should come up with things or events to stimulate her brain activity and remind her of some of the memories that she lost.”

“That sounds reasonable. I don’t want to overwhelm her too much, so I held back a lot when I was talking to her today. If it’s possible, can we hold off on telling her about her pregnancy? At least until I come back and I can tell her myself. I tried to take the day off today, but I have to deal with the company first so I can be here when she’s discharged.” Yoongi explained.

The doctor looked nervous at first, but thought about it for a while.

“Yes, I think that might be for the best. Waking up in an unfamiliar place with no memories of the past four years can be very overwhelming so it might be easier to ease her into the news. Thank you Mr. Min, we’ll call you when there’s news.” The doctor says before holding his hand out for a handshake.

Yoongi let out a small smile as he shook the doctor’s hand.

“Yes, please let me know if anything happens and if her situation changes. I’ll be back tomorrow to drop off a new cellphone for her so it’s easier to contact people. I’ll see you then, doc. Thank you so much for your hard work.” Yoongi couldn’t help but praise him for being such a helpful person during a difficult time for both him and you.

“It’s no problem at all, Mr. Min. It makes me happy to see how devoted you are in taking care of your wife and future child.” The doctor smiles at him and pats his shoulder roughly before he walks away whistling.

Yoongi only stared at his back as he walked away from him. Devotion. That wasn’t something he was used to.

☽

He’d gone home that night and contemplated the strange encounter that you both had today. The initial shock he received when realizing that you couldn’t recognize him, worse yet remember him, was swept away quickly by your questions about your relationship with him. As the night ended and he tucked himself into his bed, he couldn’t stop thinking about your conversation today.

It was the most civil conversation you’ve had since before the divorce. It was basically the only conversation you’ve had since the divorce. The more he thought about it, the more he zoned out of the reality in front of it. He thought about your teasing smile when you asked if he fell in love with you at first sight. He thought about your laugh, like bells, when he corrected you and said it was love at first laugh. It was like the fates turned back time to when you two first met. It was like he was seeing you for the first time again.

The you from today was such a stark contrast from the you that Yoongi had lived with in the months leading up to your divorce. Being reminded of what you were like back then and comparing it to the person you turned into after 4 years together made his heart beat faster. He didn’t know what it was but thinking about how you changed, how you grew, made him nervous. These weren’t fluffy feelings of romance or admiration. It seemed to be more like fear. He looked down at his hands and realized that they were shaking. As the shaking continued, he noticed his breathing getting shorter and shorter. He didn’t know what was happening but having these thoughts made him feel so scared.

The tears escaped his eyes before he even realized he was crying. He had never experienced this before. His heart was beating so fast and he couldn’t stop shaking or crying but all he could focus on was your soft smile today and every time he saw it in his head, it crumbled into the 23 year old you who sobbed into her hands in front of him. He just kept thinking and thinking and thinking and it made him cry into his palms more and more. Behind his closed eyes were images of the two of you through the years and the way you had changed from a beautiful, happy person who could probably make the sun and all the planets stop into a sad, quiet, reserved woman who preferred to stay at home and be alone with your paper and your words.

Did he do that? Did he do that to you? Did he make you that sad? Was it his fault that you pulled away from him? Was it his fault that you two fell apart as catastrophically as you fell in love? Was he the reason for your accident?

No, no, no, no. He cried and cried and couldn’t breathe. I didn’t do that, I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t mean to do that. I loved you. I loved you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

-

At the same time, you woke up in your hospital bed, shocked by a nightmare that eventually dulled and became forgotten as soon as you woke. You felt like there was something important that the dream told you, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Instead of trying to remember, you looked up at the ceiling of your hospital room and contemplated on your strange encounter with your so-called ex-husband today. Mentions of the divorce were vague, so you didn’t focus on it much. He told you a love story that you wouldn’t have believed if you hadn’t lost your memories. You smiled as you remembered that way he told you he fell in love at first laugh. There was a twinkle in his eye when he said that, but you still noticed a twinge of sadness and regret behind it all.

“For your information, it was at first laugh.”

You closed your eyes and tried so hard to remember anything, just the smallest thing, to confirm whatever Yoongi had told you, but nothing came to you except for a barrage of tears that was so sudden it shocked you. You tried to stop crying, but you couldn’t. You tried to laugh but it only ended in broken sobs. There was a hurt in your chest that you couldn’t precisely describe. It was sharp, and it hurt your heart, like it was breaking little by little. It wasn’t happiness. Not at all. It felt like a sadness that you hadn’t ever felt before (or at least your 19 year old self), but you couldn’t possibly remember why you felt like this. The tears kept coming and coming and it frustrated you so much that you didn’t know why you were crying like this. You just wanted to remember something about your marriage, your relationship, and Min Yoongi. You couldn’t understand why you were feeling like this.

Of course, though the memory is lost, the hurt and sorrow that your heart had gone through couldn’t be forgotten. At least not by your body. It was a sadness so deep in your bones that not even the loss of the memories associated with this hurt could erase it.

☽

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#bts #bts social media au #bts smut #bts angst #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #yoongi fics #yoongi au #bts divorce #bits angst #bts fake texts #bts fake text au #min yoogi social media au #min yoongi fic #min yoongi imagine #jungkook au #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts au #purpletaecup: i feel you in my heart

[pawsitivelymiraculous]

Damian, the baby assassin, Dupain-Cheng (Part 5)

Hellooo everyone! I'm... somewhat alive. I'm so sorry this took so long to update. Welp, I can't believe that this is the end of the first arc. Thank you guys so much for your support.I wouldn't have been able to get this far without all of you. I´m so excited for whats to come. Also Tysm @beautiful-disasters-sunshine​ for beta reading this!

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Ao3     Masterlist

So, recap

Marinette kidnapped/adopted Damian after seeing him with Talia in the Miraculous Café. She gives him the choice between staying with her or a non assassin relative. He chooses to stay in hopes of stealing the miracle box, but since that didn’t work he lashed out and tried to kill Marinette and her friends repeatedly. This makes Marinette doubt in herself because she feels guilty about the whole situation. After hearing Marinette cry, Damian runs away confused at the whole situation, but he didn't get far before realizing that he was actually okay with the idea of Marinette becoming his mother. Marinette finds him and they go home.

After that, Damian began to feel more comfortable around Marinette. 

Their dynamic changed. No longer was Damian desperately trying to escape, and now that the walls he had built had almost completely crumbled Marinette began to learn more about the boy she considered her son.

For example, she learned that he liked art. 

The moment she found out she ran to her favorite craft store and bought all sorts of things ranging from paints and canvases to a couple of sketch books and a variety of pencils.

Damian, of course, tried to tell her how unnecessary it was. 

But Marinette ignored him.

She cleared a corner of her studio where she kept all of her sewing machines and the commissions she was working on, and set up the new supplies.

The two could be found on most afternoons peacefully sketching and painting in that room while munching on the leftover pastries from the café.

Another regular activity was to go out to various places to get inspiration for said projects. Whether it was an outdoors market, or a quaint town bordering Paris, Marinette loved to show Damian all her favorite places to visit whenever she needed inspiration.

She loved to see how his brow furrowed in concentration as he sketched. How he used his natural ability to pick up on little details and used it to make beautiful pieces of art.

And of course being the proud mom she was, Marinette hung up all the paintings all around the house, despite Damian's protests. She even taped some of his sketches on her side of the "Creative Room", as Marinette liked to call it, to use as inspiration for her designs. 

Damian also continued to go to school. It took a lot of macarons and begging to let the principal of the school allow Damian to go back, and it only happened once they agreed to a reasonable punishment.

Marinette was rather relieved at how difficult it had been to convince them. 

It was reassuring to know that the faculty in the school she chose was willing to address the issue instead of turning a blind eye to someone with enough money like they had done when she had been in school.

Also, there was a new addition to the family.

Since seeing Damian look at a flyer of the animal shelter with interest, Marinette suspected that he liked animals more than he was willing to admit.

This was confirmed when she arrived home and found Damian trying to lure a dog out from under his bed.

Marinette obviously allowed Damian to keep the dog and almost burst into tears when for the first time, Damian called her "mom"

Together, they managed to get the dog to come out from where he had been hiding. The poor thing looked so frightened, and kept shying away when they got too close.

Marinette sang a soft lullaby that her mother had taught her hoping that it would help the dog calm down, and it did. 

Hesitantly, he walked closer to Damian and eventually let him pet him.

"You're a little survivor aren't you?" Marinette whispered. Looking at the dog who was now  falling asleep in Damian's gentle embrace.

A small smile graced Damian's face. "Naji. We must name him Naji" He murmured, taking Marinette by surprise. "It means 'survivor' in arabic. Naji has experienced a lot of difficulties, but yet he survived them all and he has now found his home." He explained.

Marinette didn't think he was only referring to the dog.

~♡~♡~♡~

Marinette paced nervously around the living room as she waited for it to be time to pick Damian up from school.

The reason she was so nervous was because she was hoping to ask Damian if he was okay with being adopted by her.

She had to pull some strings but after waiting for a long time she had finally gotten the permission she needed to legally adopt Damian.

The only question was if he was going to accept.

Naji walked over to her and laid at her feet making Marinette stop dead in her tracks. 

Despite being skittish around them, Naji had an uncanny ability to know when either Damian or Marinette was upset. He would usually try to sit near them and eventually he would allow one of them to pet him gently.

It was adorable if Marinette did say so herself.

Naturally, Marinette sat on the ground and patiently waited for Naji to approach her. Meanwhile, she closed her eyes and made herself relax.

It was all going to be okay. If Damian didn't like the idea then that would be fine. It wouldn't change her love for him and hopefully the proposal wouldn't make him draw back to himself.

Naji sat on her lap as she continued to calm herself down.

Finally, Marinette glanced at her watch and saw that it was time to pick Damian up. Giving Naji one final pat, she stood up and got her keys.

The pep talk she had just given herself had become a sort of mantra for her. 

When Marinette arrived at Damian's school, she noticed that Damian was with another kid his age. Damian looked somewhat bored as the boy talked.

Nonetheless, Marinette could only feel pride as Damian continued to listen to the boy.

Taking notice of her, Damian excused himself and walked to the car.

"So, I see you made a new friend." Marinette said after exchanging greetings. She was unable to keep a teasing tone out of her voice.

Damian frowned, "I was merely tolerating his presence. I would hardly call that a friendship." 

"Yeah, sure. Keep telling that to yourself honey." Marinette replied with a grin. "Anyways, how was school today?"

Marinette listened to him as he told her what he had done throughout the day. When he was done Damian noticed that they were going the wrong way. He told her as much.

"Your right mon petit oiseau"  Marinette sighed as she pulled over. "Damian, I have something important to talk to you about." 

Damian looked at her, a hint of worry seeped into his eyes. "Is there something wrong, Maman?" 

Marinette's heart swelled at the name, it gave her the confidence she needed for what she was going to say next. 

"Damian, I love you as my own son. That- that's what you are to me… my son." Damian's concern grew as tears started to roll down Marinette's cheeks. "And I don't care for technicalities or anything," she continued, grabbing Damian's hands between her own. "But… I would like to legally adopt you."

~♡~♡~♡~

Damian could only stare at Marinette in shock.

Being legally adopted by her was something he had never actually considered. He knew how complicated that would be, but if she was asking then… maybe it was possible? 

He thought about what it would mean. Perhaps he could change his last name and leave behind his grandfather's legacy behind for once and for all. 

Damian didn't think he would ever be able to escape the league. For most of his life he didn't even want to. But Marinette had cared for him more than his own family had. 

It would be incredibly stupid not to accept. So with that in mind, Damian made up his mind.

"I… I am not opposed to this idea Maman." Relief flooded Marinette's features "Though I must ask how you managed to make it possible?"

Marinette choked out a small laugh. "Let's just say I'm very persuasive and I have friends in high places."

Yeah, that made sense. 

Their time in the courthouse passed by in a blur. When they walked out Damian felt... lighter. Like a weight had been lifted off from his shoulders.

This was his new beginning. Damian felt relieved because he had no doubt that with Marinette's guidance he would be able to right the wrongs he had committed. 

He no longer had to fend for his own because someone was going to be there for him. To protect him.

To love him.

And for the first time in his life Damian felt safe. 

Past Damian would probably be ashamed of that, but now? Now only felt joy. 

Because he was no longer Damian Al-ghul. 

He was Damian Dupain-Cheng.

~♡~♡~♡~ TAG LIST ~♡~♡~♡~

@elmokingkong @anjuschiffer, @ii-fox-demon, @justcourttee, @tazanna-blythe, @lozzybowe, @idontfuking, @wannajointhecrabcult, @bakergirl13, @rosalineandrosemary, @art-is-hard-to-do-sorry, @our-preciousss, @consumeconstantly, @jiso-lee, @allthegooddaimenettenamesaregone, @justcourteesuportline, @finallyaniguana, @user00000003, @whydoexamsexist, @justafanwarrior, @violetfandomaddict, @smolplantmum, @fidget-eep, @cadenceh2o, @justarandomtumblerblog, @tomanyfandomsonmymind, @emmathedestroyer, @emotionalsupportginger, @insane-fangirl-of-everything.

#maribat #mlb x dc #ml x dc #mominette #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #my trash writing

[bebepac]

Pop’s 🌎 World

This is a very special Mia’s 🌎 World. It’s kind of a stand alone, as you could have not read the previous series and know what’s going on here.  It’s about a father’s love for his daughter.  But if you are curious to go on a binge read:

Book One:  Pop’s Place

Book Two: Mia’s World

I’m also participating in @wackydrabbles​ prompt # 91 picked by  @ofpixelsandscribbles​ “I’m worried about you.” which will appear in bold. 

Original Post Date: 04/20/21 at 7:03PM EST.

The Book:  TRR (this is typically a crossover, but none of the crossover characters appear in this chapter) 

Pairing:  Mia x Jaiden  (TRR MC x M!OC)

Word Count: 1976

Warnings: Pops laying on all kinds of Daddy Fluff.  Brief mention of pregnancy complications, with no specific or graphic detail. 

Summary:  A glimpse into the past, present and future of Pops. We will be getting to know, the softer side of Pops Jones.

A/N: Writing is truly one of the ways that I have dealt with a lot of unsettling feelings I’ve had over the years, and this one is very cathartic for me.  I never had the best home life growing up.  Pops is the personification of the father figure I wish that I had growing up in those more formative years.  He does remind me a bit of my Grandfather, but he passed away when I was young.  So I write my Mia having the strong base that I wish I had.  And maybe some things would have turned out differently.  

A/N2:  I don’t own the rights to the poem “I Trust You’ll Treat Her Well”  by Dan Valentine which the words will be bold and italic throughout this episode.  I did modify a few words to make it representative to Mia and her family, as Mia does not have blue eyes and light brown hair.   

Song Inspiration for this Episode:  I Loved Her First by Heartland

I don’t own the rights to the music.  

Jaiden and Mia were staring at each other in awe as if they were in their own little private universe.

Tears welled in Pop's eyes as he watched Mia.

Pops never thought he was super sensitive until that moment. But seeing Mia, his baby girl, slow dance with Jaiden in her wedding dress, tore his heart to pieces, in a good way. Together Gloria and Pops had raised a beautiful, intelligent, strong young woman, who had found the love of her life.

Their very first dance together as husband and wife was breathtaking, and the newly married couple had nothing but smiles and a few tears for each other, and whispered sweet nothings in each other's ears.

Maybe not so sweet.... as whatever Mia had whispered caused Jaiden's cheeks and ears to flush a rosy pink, as he gently tugged at his collar a bit. 🍋🍋

"She picked a good one, Pops. He'll take care of her. He always has." Gloria whispered in Pops ear.

"I know. It doesn't make it easier. I loved her first."

Pops stood before them with a smile. Since they were done with the formal pictures, Pop's tie was completely gone, and the first few buttons of his dress shirt were unbuttoned. Pops was a simple man. But his feelings about that day were anything but simplistic. Pop's soul was a storm of emotions inside his heart: happy, melancholic, and bittersweet, because not only had he given his daughter away to be married, but he was also gaining a son, whom he loved dearly.

His eyes met with Mia's from across the room. She smiled at him, but as he refocused on her, he saw the little girl that loved to play dress up in Mommy's clothes and makeup.

Clearing his throat, Pops began to recite the poem that he picked for today. His confident voice was already shaking as he gazed across the room at his little MJ, his eyes already beginning to tear up.

"Dear World,

I bequeath to you today one little girl… in a crispy dress...with two brown eyes… and a happy  laugh that ripples all day long...and a flash of black hair that bounces in the sun  when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well."

He never knew the person who would completely change his whole entire world, his heart  was a little bouncing baby girl that weighed seven pounds and twelve ounces when she was born.

When he found out Gloria was pregnant, Kelvin wanted a boy. That's all he thought about. Someone to play ball with, and fish with. He got the shock of his life when he heard those three words. It's a girl.

Mia was born a week before Christmas.  Gloria went into labor while they were at a Christmas party neither one wanted to attend. Labor was a fitting excuse for the pair to leave early. The one time in Mia’s life she showed up early to benefit her parents. 

Gloria’s due date was Christmas Day.

When he first saw Mia's big brown inquisitive eyes, he knew she would be special. And Mia was, and she was the light of his world.

Mia’s first word was Pop.  The reason everyone called Kelvin “Pops”  was because of Mia.  When Mia started talking she said it repeatedly.  And it stuck with EVERYONE!

Mia was definitely a Daddy’s girl. 

Mia took her very first steps following behind Pops. He had walked into the kitchen to make Mia a snack, when he glanced up from the counter seeing her toddling towards him.

"Pops!" Mia exclaimed enthusiastically as she took her slow and deliberate steps towards him.

Pops immediately knelt, opening his arms smiling brightly at her.

"Come to Pop Pops."

Mia made it to his arms. He picked her up and spun her around planting kisses, and raspberries on her cheeks and tummy.

He wanted his little MJ to stop growing.  

Even though he loved Mia dearly, Pops thought about the possibility of them having another child.  He thought then having one of each would be perfect.

But sadly the lightning never struck again for them.  

Gloria sat on the side of the bed in tears.  

“We weren’t even trying when we got Mia, and now that we are…. Why isn’t it happening?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe we just got it perfect on the first try, my beautiful Morning Glory.”

“I know you want a boy Pops.”  

“I wanted our child Gloria.  Mia is our baby.   I wouldn’t trade a thousand little boys for our Mia.”

He wiped Gloria’s tears.

“I’m worried about you.”  

“I feel like I'm failing you.”

“You’re not, you gave me Mia.  She’s more than we could have ever asked for.”  

Mia had asked several times for a baby brother or sister.  Until a sweet family with a little dark haired boy moved next door.  

Daniel and Mia were inseparable.  

“Prim and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Good bye” and walk with little lady steps into the school house.”

It was  Pops that cried the first day of school when he waited with her at the bus stop.  They had always had a very special close relationship.

“For five full years now I’ve been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and father and friend...”

Mia had her “Mommy time” with Gloria but as Mia aged, she liked to fish with Pops.  She enjoyed being in the kitchen with him.   At age ten Mia called out her first order to Pops that day taking the first step of creating ‘their special language' they talked to each other to this very day in the kitchen. Mia sat at the table with her book watching the waitress in front of her, listening closely to the order.

She called out the order to Pops loud and proud.

Pops glanced down at the order that Ginny handed him, as Mia recited in her own language what the customers wanted.  He smiled at her, it made sense to her, and to him.  

“I’m on it, MJ!” His voice boisterous.  Little Mia learned the menu and started calling out all the orders to Pops. 

His mind drifted to Kyle.  Mia’s first serious boyfriend.  The one he had basically thought he was so proud of Mia for finding.  Kyle appeared to have it all.  He came from a good family, and he appeared like he loved Mia.  

Pops mentally took off his rose colored glasses and looked at his daughter’s relationship with him.  

Pops saw all the warning signs he had been oblivious to the first time around.  The sadness in his daughter’s eyes, she was trying to hide.  The crash dieting.  Mia wasn’t insecure before, but he now saw all the hints of it.  And he had been afraid to ask. Why did he not ask her what was wrong? When he had such a good relationship with his MJ.

“Today she’ll learn for the first time not all who smile at her are her friends….”

Mia found the courage in herself to end that relationship.

And with the ending of that relationship ended another one.  Daniel’s father was transferred to North Carolina.   Mia was devastated with her friend moving away.  But, it was very short lived, as Daniel’s father Jonathan let Pops know of a restaurant that was for sale in their area, that would give Pops the chance to branch out completely on his own and have his very own place.  

Pops took a chance and packed up his family and moved to North Carolina and bought that little restaurant that the community now fondly known as Pop’s Place. 

He remembered the first time he saw Mia interact with Jaiden.  The two were very friendly with each other talking and laughing.   Jason Brooks elbowed him.  

“There is something special blooming between those two.”

Pops laughed looking at the two of them again.

“I doubt it seriously.”  

Mia’s dance card was full, between Drake Walker, but Pops had his money on Liam Rys walking away with Mia’s heart.

“Twenty bucks says they’ll be dating before the end of summer.”  

“You’re on Brooks.”  

Pops lost that bet.  

Watching the love blossom between his daughter and Jaiden made him feel young again.  The love and the heartache.  

The sweet little gestures of love and understanding.

*^*^*^*^*^*^* Fast Forward a year after the wedding *^*^*^*^*^*

"I think I finally got it right now. Hi MJ, hey Jaiden. Can you all hear me now?”

"We can hear you now fine Hey Pops, where's Mom?"

"I'm here, I had to take dinner out of the oven."

They talked for a few minutes.

"MJ you look like the cat that ate the canary. What's going on?"

"So we didn't agree on how to do this.  We both wanted to tell you face to face but we didn't want to wait until Thanksgiving."

She looked at Jaiden.  He smiled nodding.

"Mom, Pops…..”

Pops saw the tears in Mia's eyes.

"What's wrong?"

She held up a single picture.

Both her parents screamed in joy.  

“It’s a boy!!!”  

“We wanted to tell you sooner.”  

Jaiden’s eyes filled with tears, as Mia leaned into him.  His grip tightened around her.

“We had to wait a little bit, because we had some complications. I had to take some time off work. But we’re okay now.  All three of us.”  

“This is the best news I’ve ever heard!!!!” Pops was laughing and crying at the same time. 

“You can't tell anyone yet. We’re telling Jaiden’s parents a little later on this evening.”

"We understand."

“So that means Pops, when we have the baby you’re getting on a plane and flying out here.  Mom’s not going to let you drive cross country.”

“It will be fun, we could rent an RV like we did that summer.”

“NO Pops. NO!!!”  Gloria and Mia exclaimed in unison.

“That summer was a nightmare, Jaiden.”

For MJ, when it was time, he got on that plane.  The simple man who lived between North and South Carolina his whole life, had raised a girl that loved adventure, and was living her life now in California as a fashion designer  with her successful architect husband, and about to give birth to their first child.  

Jaiden walked out of the delivery room with a proud smile on his face.  

“He’s here.  Six pounds and two ounces and twenty one inches long.  He’s perfect in every way.”

Jason went to hug his son.    

Later that evening, Pops and Gloria went in to see the baby.  

Mia had been in labor for over twelve hours, but you couldn’t tell it from the serene smile that was on her face, as she held their first child in her arms.  

Jaiden took the baby from her arms.

“Pops, meet your grandson.  His name is Kaiden…. Kaiden Riley Brooks.”

(Author’s Note: yeah…. I know, I said Riley Brooks would never exist in a place where my MC is not named Riley…. But you know…. I had to mix things up. Technically this is NOT your Riley Brooks.)

Pops held Kaiden in his arms.  The little baby opened his eyes to look at him. And in that moment Pop’s life was changed again by another little baby, this time, weighing six pounds  and two ounces.  

He kissed the top of his head gently rubbing Kaiden’s head full of dark brown curls.

“We finally got our boy Pops.”  Gloria whispered as Pops rocked Kaiden in his arms.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Fast Forward  *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Time flies as time always does.  Pops and Gloria were visiting during the first week of school.

Pops grip on Mia’s hand tightened as she held her youngest child Luna on her hip, watching little Kaiden walk down the driveway to the bus.

Mia softly gasped as Kaiden stopped, turning around to her, and  waved goodbye to her, and his little sister, and his Poppy; Mia was holding back tears.

“I know how you feel.”  

“Does it get easier Pops?”

“You’ll always see him….them the way you do now.  They will always be your babies. It’s how I see you. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become Mia.”

“Thank you Pops.”

“So, world, I bequeath to you today, one little boy… in a little blue and gold uniform…. With two hazel eyes and a flash of curly brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when he runs.

I trust you’ll treat him well.”

Tags in the comments!!!!

#bebepac writes #mia's world #pops place #pops place part 2 #jaiden x mia #trr fanfic #trr fandom #what the fluff? #wacky drabbles #choices fic writers creations #fic of the week #tw pregnancy complications mention

[morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy]

So I'm having a rough day week month year and I'm just gonna yell into the void for a little bit ✌

So I have fucking flu like symptoms again because my bitch ass doesn't know how to not be stressed? This is the third time I've been sick in 2022 AND ITS FEBRUARY! I've been in bed all day only leaving for brief bathroom breaks and then! As I'm going to bed! My knee does a weird wobble thing AND NOW I FUCKED UP MY KNEE TOO!!!! I've been having the most intense body aches and my knee really said "hahaha you know what'd be funny!!!!" So I hobbled my stupid little ass up the stairs and now I'm lying in bed again trying to feel tired but I'm just NOT. All day I've been exhausted and barely awake and now my brain is just like "hey, hey, hey, you have all kinds of shit you need to write and edit and all you did today was cry" brains are fun. I really do miss my boys though, I've been so sick that I've had to step away for two months and it's been harder than I expected. Writing is how I make things better but I'm just so fucking exhausted. And to make all that so much more fun there's so much drama happening in my extended family (who I haven't talked to in years mind you). Okay here's the tea, some therapist decided on a hunch that my grandfather has dementia. My grandmother, being the naturally conniving person she is decides to make it everybody else's problem instead of getting a serious diagnosis. So what happens? She calls my dad and says "dads doing really bad, he's sick and he's not going to be around much longer" so of course we scramble to try to get them over here. They completely ruin our Christmas and everyone ends up fighting the entire time, they go back home, my dad talks to A REAL NEUROLOGICAL DOCTOR who ran tests on good old granddad and says "yep there's nothing wrong with him, just normal aging" I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!!!

You're probably like wow that's really shitty, but wait! It gets worse!! My grandmother decides to call my mom one day out of the blue freaking out about the Russia Ukraine situation and tells my mom that she heard my brother was going to be deployed. MY BROTHER DOESNT EVEN TALK TO THIS WOMAN AND WE TALK TO HIM MULTIPLE TIMES A WEEK so we knew for a fact that was NOT happening but noooo grandma knows everything and anyone who disagrees shall surely be put to death. Oh I left out the best part of their holiday trip, grandma saw my pride flag (in my room she demanded to see after I said no) and refused to talk to me the entire trip, unless it was to say something snide or critical of course. Oh and one more thing, Christmas day happens, my family spends so much time and effort and money to include them for OUR Christmas right? My grandpa gets a call, it's my cousin who sings a Christmas carol to him and hangs up. He then loudly declares to my brother's girlfriend that that was the best Christmas gift he has ever gotten from any of his grandchildren and I'm literally standing right there cleaning up the wrapping paper from all the presents he opened.

Anyway all this shit right? All of it! All of it that they've put me through for fucking DECADES my grandma texts me feb 14 "Happy Valentine's Day! Hope Your Day Is Sweet N Special As You Are! Love You So Much! ❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹"

I'm so fucking done with this shit seriously. I didn't even answer. (Same woman by the way, that when my dog passed away a few months ago texted me "well dogs die, it happens" also they spent their entire trip reminding me that she wasn't around as well.) 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Okay different tea but on my mom's side. My mom is completely estranged from her family because they refuse to accept the fact that they're terrible people. Well come to find out my moms step grandmother died a few days ago and had been in the hospital paralyzed since Christmas. Now I'm not surprised by any of this because like I said they're absolutely horrible people but the only way we found this out is because they sent my dad a link to a gofundme to pay for her funeral. (My mom hasn't talked to these people in at least ten years, and my dad maybe more) but yep. Find out through gofundme. It's not like I really knew this woman or that she was truly family to me in anyway but that's still really fucked up.

Guys I'm fucking tired. Thanks for letting me vent, I don't know if it made me feel better but at least it's out of my system I guess and hopefully it made you realize that you're probably not all that crazy ✌

#izzy speaks but i really shouldnt #vent

[yelena-bellova]

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twenty Nine

Chapter Twenty Nine: Trouble In Paradise

Series Masterlist

Plot: The Resistance has been chasing information across the galaxy to confirm the identity of the voice behind the mysterious radio broadcast. Meanwhile, Y/n has been keeping secrets from her loved ones that could have catastrophic consequences...

Warnings: language, intrusive violent thoughts, talk of the death of a parent, no beta reader because we die like men...

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: GAH we’ve made it to TROS. I can’t believe we’re nearing the end of this series...Nope, I’m not getting emotional today lol. Thanks for patiently waiting for this chapter, I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve updated. Hopefully I don’t disappoint :) --------

I’d joked as a kid that I’d always wanted to float. The concept of hovering above the ground suspended in midair had tickled me, but the reality of physics had crushed that dream quickly. 

So naturally, my inner child was giddy to learn it was indeed possible.

I sat crossed legged, hands resting on my knees, eyes shut, more at ease than I’d been in a long time from seven feet in the air. Meditation had always brought me a deep sense of peace, but diving deeper into a Jedi’s way of performing the act had taken the whole thing to a new level. 

“Be with me…” came a voice from the body that sat adjacent to me. The corners of my mouth lifted up slightly as I listened to Rey try her hardest while still attempting to remain relaxed and open. It was a blessing and a curse to be a perfectionist and a Jedi, you were wildly driven but also would beat yourself up generously if you couldn’t get something. That was Rey to a t. Not that I wasn’t just as devout, but I’d trained myself long enough to know that you couldn’t perfect something overnight. 

“They’re not with me,” she declared with a scoff, “Ugh…”

Rey effectively called an end to our session as I opened my eyes to see her gracefully flip through the air and meet the ground. Her half of the rocks we’d been keeping in the air with us fell while I eased mine down with me, landing in a crouched position. “You’re going to get it.” “I’m not so sure I agree,” she sighed. “I haven’t figured it out either if it makes you feel any better,” I offered with a shrug, brushing the dirt from my leggings. 

Rey made an objective noise, “That’s not true, you can hear your grandfather.”

“Only because he reaches out to me, I’m still not able to hear or see him by my own doing. And believe me, I’m trying…”

“It comes with time and a healthy dose of patience…” said the warming presence I sensed just a few feet away from us. “I’m starting to think it isn’t possible,” Rey stated as we walked toward my mother, “To hear the voices of the Jedi who came before.”

“Nothing’s impossible,” Mom replied simply, she had drilled that phrase into our brains so many times over the past few months that I swore it was tattooed somewhere in my skull.

“Nothing’s impossible,” Rey echoed, a small smile spreading across her face at the encouragement, “I’m going to run the training course. Are you coming?” “No, I ran it earlier,” I said, elbowing her lightly in the arm, “One day I’ll beat you but today was not that day.” Rey was such a humble person, which made it all the more entertaining to watch her try not to take delight in being the best at something. She slyly grinned at me before accepting Uncle Luke’s lightsaber from Mom and heading off towards the start of the course.

Can I go with her? Unless you need me? “No, Bee,” I smiled down at the droid, left in my custody till Poe returned, “You can go with Rey.” He happily rolled his way through the jungle, in search of his friend.

“Any word from the Falcon?” I asked hopefully as Mom and I slowly strolled back towards base.

“Not yet,” she answered, trying her hardest to sound unworried, “It may be too risky to send a comm back. I wouldn’t worry yet.”

“Telling me not to worry only makes me worry more,” I returned, clenching and unclenching my fists in an attempt to relieve some of the tension in my body.

Only a handful of Resistance personnel knew the details of Finn and Poe’s mission. Those who did understood the weight and magnitude of the information they were potentially retrieving. But as with every high-risk mission, bringing back intel meant bringing themselves back, which was a big if…

“Mom, what if it really is what we think it is?” I asked, sounding more like a curious child than a concerned commander, “Worse, what if it’s who we think it is?”

“I wish I had an answer for you,” she sighed, “But the truth is that we don’t know for certain what we’re up against. We’re anticipating and planning in the dark. We can only pray that Poe and Finn return with something that could shed even a little light on the matter.”

Light versus dark, an age old battle with a new enemy for each generation to face. But the same enemy coming back twice? Nobody could have predicted it. And while it was true, we had no official confirmation that the broadcast across the galaxy had been who we believed it to be, those who had lived through the rebellion had no doubts. 

“Do me a favor and let me know when they’re back if I’m not around,” I requested, breaking away from my mother who was heading back towards the command center. I needed a few minutes to myself to attend to matters I couldn’t concern her or Rey with.

“Y/n,” she called and waited for me to face her, “I know you’re scared, but don’t feel like you need to fight your battles on your own.” If only she knew the battles I was fighting and just how important it was that nobody find them out. I hated secrets, I’d spent my entire life keeping them from those who meant the most to me. But the ones I kept now were in a new category of extreme, they were the kind that when all was exposed could ruin every relationship I had. 

So I simply nodded, gave a tight lipped smile and turned back on my way. 

I ended up deep in the opposite side of the jungle, far away from the training course and far enough away from base that nobody would stumble upon me. I scaled one of the large trees with ease, landing on a sturdy top branch and settling onto it. Like D’Qar, I kept a secret corner of Ajan Kloss for myself for when I needed quiet or clarity. But both places where were I faced my demons, only the ones I had now couldn’t be combatted with a lightsaber. Not yet, at least…

I took a deep breath and looked out to the beautiful horizon, inwardly beating myself up for what I was about to do.

“Ren, are you there?”

Silence.

“Ren, I know you’re there somewhere,” I pushed, trying to open the connection between us once again, “You’ve got to tell me if you know anything about what’s been going on.”

Nothing.

“This isn’t a matter of First Order or Resistance, it’s not about you or I. If this is what we think it is, both of us are fucked so if you know something, I need to know it too.” We hadn’t spoken since the evening of the broadcast, I knew him better than I wished to and knew that any threat to his rule would send him frantically searching for the culprit. Since he’d gone silent on me, I’d reached out often to try and get any information out of him I could. It wasn’t so I could use it against him, it was simply to figure out what we’d be up against. He was the only person I knew close to the dark side of the force, meaning he was the closest to answers I could get. I was toeing a dangerous line and I knew it.

As always, he didn’t answer. Once I’d served my usefulness to him, he’d dropped our frequent communication without so much as a warning. I’d spent so long trying to get as far from him as possible and now that I needed something from him, he was nowhere to be found.

Thoroughly done with myself, I groaned and leaned my head against the tree. “Resistance commander trying to strike conversation with the leader of the First Order…Well done, Solo.” Then suddenly, my mind was struck with an overwhelming pain. I was having another attack.

I stood amongst the familiar flames. 

Bodies were scattered around me, their screams echoing through the air.

My usual y/e/c turned yellow as I stared down at the carnage.

Ren stood near me.

Obi-Wan did not.

“Don’t be afraid,” Ren said in an eerily soft voice, “This is who you were always meant to be.” Another scream, but it wasn’t in the dream.

I clung to the tree with one arm, the other was clutching my head to try and make the pain stop. Taking frantic whimpering breaths, I tried to remind myself that it wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. It was just my nightmare, the one I’d lived through my entire life. It was nothing more.

But then, my grandfather had never not been there. 

And I’d never seen myself as a Sith. 

I decided that was enough for one day, I didn’t know if there was anything else on my agenda but I’d find something. Anything to keep me out of my own head, which was becoming a more dangerous place to be with every passing day…

————

It was a few hours later, while tucked away with Rey in her corner of the base, that the day took another turn. We were going through the old Jedi texts when Nimi shouted for both of us, “Falcon’s back!”

I groaned in relief, setting my book down and leaping from my seat. Rey and Bee followed close behind as we made our way through the base, but the smoke trail leading back to the ship’s landing area wasn’t a good sign.

Sure enough, the Falcon was in flames. I stopped short at the sight, my beloved ship, my home, burning up. People were flocking to it, some to watch but most to help extinguish the fire. The Falcon was a Resistance symbol and people felt protective over it, it was a legacy.

“It’s on the fire, the whole thing’s on fire! All of it is on fire!” The figure emerging from the chaos typically sparked joy in me, but at the moment of his appearance I found little comfort in his presence. Sensing my anger, Rey stepped forward while I turned my back away from the Falcon and ran my hands over my face trying to keep calm.

“Hey.” “Hey,” Poe greeted.

“There’s a spy?” she asked, I’d admit that I forgot all about the mission in the moment.

“Really could’ve used your help out there,” Poe said loudly over the noise that surrounded us.

“How’d it go?” “Really bad actually…Really bad.”

I inhaled deeply and spun on my heels, my resolve to remain calm fizzling with every word my boyfriend said. “Really? I wouldn’t have been able to tell.” Poe’s hands readjusted themselves on his hips, “Look, you don’t understand-“ “No, Poe,” I raised a finger towards him before pointing to the Falcon, “You clearly don’t understand. What was the one rule I had for taking the Falcon? Don’t do anything dangerous!” “And you don’t understand that I had no choice,” Poe raised his voice, gesturing to the Falcon, “We had First Order on our tails, I did what had to be done.” “And pray tell, what needed to be done to my ship?” I asked, flattening my palms together and pressing my lips together in a faux smile. Poe breathed in to explain before he caught sight of Bee resting in between mine and Rey’s feet. “What’d you do to the droid?”

“What’d you do to the Falcon?” Rey countered.

“The Falcon’s in a lot better shape than he is.” “I beg to differ,” I interjected, my voice raising an octave. “BB-8’s not on fire,” Rey gestured toward the still flaming ship.

“What’s left of him isn’t on fire,” Poe’s eyes widened as he looked down at his droid.

Growing tired of the exchange, Rey cut to the chase, “Tell us what happened.” “You tell me first,” Poe demanded stubbornly.

“I asked you first and you still haven’t given me an answer,” I argued, throwing my hands out to their sides in frustration. 

“You know what you are?” Rey began, a sarcastic smile plastered on her face as she stared down Poe.

“What?” “You’re difficult. Really difficult, you’re a difficult man.” “You, you are…” Poe started, letting his sentence end with a growl as he stalked off to examine Bee. Rey went to greet Finn who swept her in up in a hug

I crossed my arms and rotated my posture to speak in his direction, “She’s not wrong.” “You two aren’t exactly easy to deal with all the time either,” he fought back, not even bothering to face me as he examined Bee, “Buddy, look at you. You’re a mess.”

“I’d be a whole lot easier to deal with if you would tell me what the hell happened to my ship,” I raised a finger to him as he began to inhale, “Do not say one thing about Bee, he lost one part and Rey and I were going to fix him up before you got back.” A roar from Chewbacca, hard at work trying to help fix the Falcon gave me the answer I’d been asking for. We’d officially graduated from anger to rage…

“You lightspeed skipped?!” I shouted.

“Yeah, well, it got us back here, didn’t it?” Poe countered.

“Poe, the compressor’s down,” Rey explained, her face exposing her shock.

“Oh, I know, I was there.”

“Every time…” Finn mumbled to himself as he stood to the side of us. “You can’t lightspeed skip the Falcon.”

Poe sprung to his feet, “Actually, turns out you can.” “Does that mean you should?” I scolded. Finn, ever the peacemaker, tried to calm the three of us down. “All right, guys, we just landed, okay?” “Poe, you are never allowed to fly the Falcon again,” I seethed, “Ever.” “You can’t make that call, she’s a Resistance ship,” Poe objected, coming to stand in front of me.

“She’s my ship that I allow select Resistance members to use, of which you are no longer one.” “Okay, guys,” Finn interjected as gently as he could, “Can you two deal with your issues later and actually discuss the mission?” 

Looking like a child who had just had a toy taken away, Poe silently stalked away from me with no more than a steely glare. The argument was far from over on both our ends.

“What happened on the mission?” Rey asked, changing the subject for all of our sakes as we followed Poe. 

“Bad news, that’s what happened,” Poe explained with his back to us.

“No spy?” 

“No, spy.”

“Can we please communicate like adults for five seconds?” I asked, pressing m hands against my mouth in an attempt to not let my fury fly free. “Did we make contact with the spy or not?” Rey asked, leaving no room for interpretation.

“There’s a mole in the First Order, and they sent us a message,” Finn explained, but Bee decided to interrupt with his own retelling of how he’d gotten his injury which caused Poe to stop in his tracks.

“You dropped a tree on him?” he asked Rey.

“You blew both sub-alternators?” she retaliated.

“No, he did more than that,” I spoke up with a humorless laugh, “He may have caused permanent damage to the Falcon, you could’ve torn the whole damn thing apart.” “Well, you know what, maybe you two should’ve been out there with us!” Poe finally exclaimed, we’d gotten to the heart of the matter at last. “You know I want to be out there with you,” Rey cried, “We both do!” “Yeah, but you’re not. You’re here training, for what?” Poe continued, sighing in disappointment afterwards as he looked between us both, “You two are the best fighters we have. We need you, out there, not here.” Silence had fallen and Poe had successfully gotten in the last word, Rey couldn’t fight any more and Finn didn’t want to. I however had plenty more to say on all subjects discussed and as Poe left us, ordering someone to get R2 into reconditioning, I went after him.

“Did you think that conversation was over?”

“Hoped, yes,” he replied, not slowing down to accommodate me. “It’s like talking to a wall,” I growled, walking double time to catch up to him, “I have told you at least ten times why I’m not on missions right now and yet you still give me shit for it.” “Y/n, you know as well as I do that things are dicey right now and we need our best out on the frontlines,” he stated as we argued through the base, “You and Rey are our best and you’re here training for something and you can’t even tell me what it is.” “How am I supposed to tell you when I don’t know what it is?” I asked, waving a hand between the two of us, “I can sense things that you can’t, you have to trust that what I’m doing is best for the long term.” “Well, then maybe don’t give me so much shit next time something happens to the Falcon on my watch when you’re not there and I’m doing what’s best for the long term.” My feet stopped but Poe’s didn’t, causing me to have to speak louder. “You really don’t understand why I’m upset, do you?” He swung a foot around and pivoted, he was visibly tired but still willing to listen. If only the sight of him didn’t fill me with so much anger…This wasn’t how his returns usually went.

“That ship is the last piece of my dad that I have,” I began, willing my voice not to crack, “I don’t have his wedding ring, his jacket, I don’t even have a picture of the two of us. I have the Falcon,” I pointed back in its direction, smoke still rising high above the trees surrounding it, “That’s it. So when it comes back in pieces, you’re right, I’m going to be upset and I’m not going to apologize for it. Because I know if you still had your mother’s A-Wing and someone so much as got a scratch on it, you’d never forget it.”

Poe kept quiet, his softening eyes betraying his hardened stare. I’d won, but it certainly didn’t feel like it. “I’m gonna go try and save what’s left of my father’s ship,” I finished, breaking into a jog back towards the Falcon before Poe could see the tears in my eyes.

————

Grease stained, sweaty and reeking of oil, I finally emerged from under the Falcon with Chewie at my side. She’d be fine, but it had taken a lot of hands to get everything repaired. Poe had done more damage than I’d ever seen done to her, it truly was a miracle they’d made it back alive.

“Can you tell me something?” I asked Chewie as I rubbed furiously at a splotch of grease on my palm, “Was lightspeed skipping really the only way to get out of whatever was going on?”

Chewie groaned his response, telling me that while he didn’t like it at all, he hadn’t come up with any other ideas as to how to survive the TIE attack.

I sighed, partially from exhaustion but also from lingering frustrations, “So do you think I’m being too hard on Poe? I mean, I’m pissed that he did this to Dad’s ship but…if it was the only way to stay alive then…”

My honorary uncle agreed that Poe had probably done the right thing, but by no means was he pleased about what happened to the Falcon. Chewie was just as protective of the Solo family ship as I was.

I hummed in reply as I thought the day’s events over, wondering how much worse it was going to get at the briefing that was only moments away. The intel Poe and Finn had brought back had been being decoded all afternoon and now we were finally going to find out what had been discovered. If the rest of the day had been any indication of how the briefing was going to go, it wasn’t going to be good.

I weaved my way through the growing crowd underneath Tantive IV, scanning faces till I found my mother. When I spotted her, there was no way to get to her. I also was in no condition to stand at the front of the entire Resistance, I’d probably have black oil stains on my skin for days. I slipped in between Connix and Snap, patting the pilot on the shoulder as I took my place.

Poe stepped forward once everyone had assembled, he’d been tucked away in the command center all day during the decoding process. Just before he started speaking, his eyes sought me out for the first time since our argument. All anger had drained from his face, replaced with concern and confusion. I furrowed my brows, silently asking what was wrong from across the crowd, whatever he’d heard had been troublesome…

“We’ve decoded the intel from the First Order spy and it confirms the worst,” he paused to look down and sigh, “Somehow, Palpatine returned.” I wished I could have said I was surprised.

Mom and I caught each other’s eye, our worst suspicions having been confirmed. It was another moment where I realized fairness didn’t exist for some people, one of them being her. My mother had already fought a war against the Emperor, she’d lost her home in the crossfire, and somehow he lived to give her more sorrow. My heart ached at the hardened, yet vulnerable, look that flashed across her face.

“Wait, do we believe this?” Rose asked from her position near me.

“It cannot be, the Emperor’s dead,” Admiral Aftab exclaimed. “Dark science,” Beaumont explained, his eyes widened with shock, “Cloning. Secrets only the Sith knew.” “He’s been planning his revenge. His followers have been building something for years,” Poe continued, “The largest fleet the galaxy has ever known. He calls it the Final Order. In 16 hours, attacks on all free worlds begin. The Emperor and his fleet have been hiding in the Unknown Regions. On a world called Exegol.”

R2 started chirping frantically from behind me.

“Exegol does not appear on any star chart, but legend describes it as a hidden world of the Sith,” 3PO translated to the group.

“There were always whispers of his hunger to cheat death,” Beaumont said with a shake of his head. I hadn’t heard of cloning having been done since the formation of the clone army decades before. It all seemed like an explanation you’d find in a children’s storybook, but it was our reality.

Mom had gone to stand next to Poe, conversing on how Palpatine had been pulling the strings since the very start of our problems, as we swallowed the information amongst ourselves. I didn’t know where I fit into any of what was going on around me, all I knew was that I needed to be at the helm of the fight. The something that I’d been training for was upon us and after hearing the details, I knew it would be uglier than I’d imagined.

“If we want to stop him, we must find him,” Maz said to the group, “We must find Exegol.” “General, Commander Solo?” Rey interrupted, I hadn’t even noticed she’d slipped away and returned, now carrying a book under her arm, “Can I speak with you both?” I nodded before snaking my way through the crowd, me and Mom followed her back to her station where she laid out one of the Jedi texts for us to see. “I know how to get to Exegol,” she said confidently.

“Tell me,” Mom urged as my eyes skimmed the pages of the dusty book Rey had poured over. “Luke searched for it, for a long time. He nearly found it. There are ciphers here I can’t read but he said to get there, you need one of these,” she pointed to a small triangular object, “A Sith wayfinder. They’re compasses that lead the way to Exegol. To stop what we both know is coming…I need to finish what Luke started. Find Exegol. Find the Emperor.” “She’s right,” I endorsed my friend’s idea wholeheartedly, “If Uncle Luke made it this far, he’s already done half the work for us. Look, it says the last place he’d been when searching for one was on Pasaana. This is our shot at stopping this.” Mom regretfully shook her head and shot us down with a single syllable, “No.”

“We don’t exactly have any other options,” I said confusedly, “We’ve got a set course right in front of us, we need to chart it.” “I don’t want to go without your blessing, I can’t speak for Y/n, but I will,” Rey said with conviction in her eyes, “I will. It’s what you would do.”

I watched expectantly as we awaited Mom’s answer, knowing that we both made too much sense for her to say no again. The good news was if she did, we didn’t technically need her permission. I owned my own ship and I didn’t need to order Rey to come with, one way or another we were getting to Pasaana. 

“You two can go,” Mom finally relented, “But I hope you both understand just how critical this mission is. There’s no room for error, we have a little over one day to stop the attack.” “And we will,” I quickly assured her, “There’s nobody more suited for this task than us.” “I can’t argue there,” Mom admitted with a sigh, looking up proudly at her two Padawans, “Get what you need, you’ll leave immediately.”

--------

A/N: And we’re off once again...Hope everybody enjoyed this one, we’ve got a lot in store for these last few chapters. Hopefully I can still surprise you all a little lol. Let me know if you’d like to be tagged.

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#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x solo!reader #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fanfiction

[typical-simplelove]

Part One: Red Envelopes (T. Jost)

Part One to Red Envelopes, Dragon Boats, and Mooncakes; a Tyson Jost fic.

Summary: Kayla and Tyson spend Chinese New Year with Kayla’s family.

Series Masterlist (I ask that you go over to the Masterlist to read a brief message I wrote about this series, thank you!)

Pinterest Link

Author’s note: Here it is!! Part One! I worked so incredibly hard on this and I hope you like it! As the summary says, this first part is during Chinese New Year. Throughout the fic, I have linked links to any references to Chinese culture. I didn’t want to assume a reader knew what I was talking about so I provided pictures for you. I also have a Pinterest Board linked above. Included are a bunch of pins that represent the story and to better understand the culture. (This is just me trying to be helpful, only that, I promise!) There are some words that are written in Chinese. I have put the pronunciation in parenthesis and the meaning are at the end of the sentence in brackets. I hope you enjoy reading this. It is Lunar New Year, if you celebrate, Happy Lunar New Year! If you don’t, I wish you a year filled with good fortune, wealth, and prosperity for you and your family. Please let me know what you thought!

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Being Chinese, eating meat, a very, very, very small insinuation to sex

Before Lunar New Year

When Tyson came home from practice that day, he was greeted with a note on the door telling him to make sure there was no mud on his shoes from the melted snow outside. He was baffled. In the three years that he and Kayla have been together, never has this request been made via note. Normally, she would yell it to him as he unlocked the door. Making sure that his shoes had no mud on them, Tyson walked in the door cautiously. 

When he walked in, Tyson was greeted with tons and tons of shopping bags sitting on the kitchen counter. Despite the shopping bags, Tyson couldn’t see Kayla anywhere. He called out her name. The only sound that was given in return were the sounds of a sponge scrubbing the base of the bathtub. 

“You know, babe,” Tyson begins when he’s at the frame of the bathroom door. “I don’t think my mom will care all that much if the bathtub is pristine when they visit. They know the way I am.”

“It’s not just for them,” Kayla responds. “It’s for Chinese New Year.”

Tyson just looks at Kayla confused. He isn’t sure how to respond. Despite being together for three years, Tyson doesn’t know much about her Chinese culture. This thought makes Tyson sad internally. Kayla knows all about his family’s traditions and pregame superstitions but he knows little about much of the Chinese culture and traditions that Kayla grew up with. 

“May I ask why you need to clean for Chinese New Year?” Tyson cautiously asks, not wanting to annoy his girlfriend for not knowing something. 

“Yeah, you can.” Kayla enthusiastically responds. “Before the New Year each year, families are to participate in cleaning the house together. It is supposed to symbolize clearing the hardships and bad luck of the previous year and opening away for new good fortune for the New Year. Cleaning last year’s fortune and bad luck shows that the family is ready to accept this year’s fortune with open and gracious hands.”

“That’s interesting,” Tyson responds. “How can I help?”

“What?”

“You said that families are to clean the house together, right?” Tyson begins and Kayla nods in response. “So, that means that I should be helping, too, right?”

“Oh, yeah. If you really want to clean, then you can start by cleaning the toilet.”

Tyson and Kayla clean the bathroom and the rest of the apartment in harmony with very little conversation passing between the two. Two hours after Tyson came home, the cleaning of the rest of the apartment was finished. This was when Tyson noticed that Kayla's hair looked as if she went into the salon that day. 

“Hey, Kayla?” Kayla turns her head to listen to Tyson. “Did you get a haircut or go to the salon this morning?”

“Yeah, I got a haircut.” Kayla responds. 

“May I ask why? It seems kind of out of the blue.”

“It’s because of Chinese New Year.” 

With her response, Tyson is feeling sad because he, once again, doesn’t know anything about her traditions. Tyson looks at Kayla with a weird look in his eyes. She can’t seem to decipher what it means but decides to explain the symbolism anyways. 

“It’s similar to why we had to clean the house. The cutting or trimming of hair represents that I am wiping away what happened last year. Cutting away the bad luck that occurred last year. When the hair grows back, it represents that the new year brought good fortune to me and my family. It also represents a fresh start.”

“Does this mean I should get a haircut?” Tyson asks, quirking one of his eyebrows and running his hand through his hair. 

Kayla laughs. “No, I was going to get a haircut anyways but I thought ‘why not wait until Chinese New Year.’”

“Well, for Chinese New Year or not, your hair looks really beautiful.”

“Thank you, Tys.”

. . .

The next day, Tyson woke up to an empty bed. What he woke up to was not what he was expecting. Lining every corner of the apartment were lanterns. On the coffee table sat four gold ingots. Additionally, all the pillows on the couch were clothed with red pillow cases and the normal throw blankets were sitting in a box and replaced with red blankets. Tyson had no idea what to attribute this to. Christmas was long gone, Valentine’s day maybe? No, hanging from the ceilings would be hearts not lanterns. 

“Hey Tys,” Kayla begins. “Sorry, I had to get these up today before we pick up your mom from the airport later today.”

“Why did you have to get it up before she came and what are they all for?”

“Chinese New Year. And it doesn’t matter to do it before she comes but there is a lot we have to do before you go pick her up.”

Kayla’s response shook Tyson to the core. He was upset with himself that Kayla had to explain everything to him. Shouldn’t he just know these things? 

“The lanterns are just traditional decorations and the gold ingots sitting on the coffee table represent wealth. The changing of everything to red represents good luck. Sorry, that I’m going overboard this is just what I grew up with.”

“Hey, don’t apologize for anything. I just didn’t know what everything was. Don’t worry about putting up too much.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well then, in that case, I have these posters that need to go up.” 

“Yeah, well, then let me help.” 

Kayla passes Tyson a few of the posters and a roll of tape. She directs Tyson on where to put up the poster and demonstrates how. 

“How do I know which side is the top and which is the bottom?” Tyson asks. 

“The bottom of the character goes at the top and the top of the character goes at the bottom. This one is just the way it looks.” Kayla explains.

“Yes, I understand that. However, I, unlike you, cannot read Chinese and don’t know which is which.”

Kayla giggles and proceeds to point at what she’s showing. “Oh yeah, right. Sorry. Here. Top. Bottom.”

When Tyson and Kayla finish, they both take a step back to take a look at what they did.

“Is this how your parent’s house will look like when we go there in a few days?”

“Maybe, I’m not sure. It always depends. Sometimes they do more and sometimes they do less.” Kayla says before walking away to put oranges on a tray. Tyson goes to reach for one to eat. 

“No!!” Kayla abruptly yells. “You can’t have one yet. You have to keep them sitting in your house to symbolize the luck, wealth, and prosperity they bring. Yes, I know it sounds kind of crazy but that’s the way it is.”

“It’s good, babe. If you tell me no, then I won’t eat any. Just make sure to tell my mom. She will definitely want one.”

“Maybe you can do that then, Tys.”

“Are you scared of my mom, babe?”

“No, I just don’t want to come off as a crazy Asian lady that their son is dating. My grandfather on my dad’s side thought that about my mother.”

“Really?” Tyson amusingly asks. 

“Yeah. I mean, my dad is not Chinese so it makes sense why they would think that. But, obviously, it worked out for the best as everyone is happy now.”

“I can promise you that she doesn’t think you are a crazy Asian lady.”

“If you say so. Anyways, come on, get ready so that you can go pick up your mom at the airport.”

. . .

“Oh, look, oranges.” Laura, Tyson’s mom, says reaching for an orange on the counter. 

“No, you can’t have one. We can’t eat them until Chinese New Year on the 12th. They have to sit on the counter to represent the wealth and luck they bring .” Tyson explains to his mother. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you, Kayla.” Laura apologizes. 

“No, no. Don’t worry it’s fine! You didn’t offend me. I have more in the fridge that are good to eat.”

Laura sighs in relief and heads over to the fridge to retrieve an orange. 

“Tyson, I didn’t know you remembered any of that what I said. I also don’t remember ever telling you the date.” Kayla tells her boyfriend.

“What’s wrong, Kayla? Don’t think that I take in any information?” Tyson tells her.

“I don’t think that,” Kayla defends herself but is given a raised eyebrow in response from Tyson. “Anyways, on the 12th, we’ll go to my parent’s house for dinner. Tyson doesn’t have a game that day so that works well.”

“Perfect, is there anything in particular that I should wear?” Laura asks. 

“Just red is fine, I am going to be wearing a red qipao but other than that the rest of you can wear red or a version of red.”

“Great! I can’t wait! Tyson has been talking my ear off about everything that you have told him this far about the holiday.”

Kayla gives her a puzzled look. “Yeah. I’m glad that he’s excited!”

Later that night, Kayla questions Tyson about what his mom said earlier that day.

“Look, I just feel bad. We have been together for almost three years and yet I know nothing about your Chinese culture.”

“You don’t have to feel bad. I can just tell you things. But, thank you for making an effort to learn more though.”

“Of course. You learned a ton about hockey so it’s my turn to repay the favor. I know it’s not quite the same but still.”

“So, care to tell me what you have learned?”

Tyson laughs. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I really want to know, Tyson.”

“Ok then. Let me tell you some then. I learned that there is a twelve year cycle for what the zodiac animal was. I learned that mine is a Tiger, which will be celebrated next year. And the year that you celebrate your animal is the years that you turn the ages of the multiples of 12. Like 12, 24, 36, 48, etc.”

Tyson pauses for a moment but Kayla gives him a nod to continue. “The different foods that you eat represent the different fortunes that you wish to eat. Like, noodles mean longevity and fish means surplus. Did you know that one-sixth of the world celebrates Chinese New Year?”

“No, I did not know that.”

“Also, did you know that flowers also have symbolic meanings? Like the plum blossom symbolizes courage and hope. While the water narcissus represents good luck and prosperity. The holiday can also be called the spring festival? Additionally, did you know that you’re not allowed to sweep on Chinese New Year? That means no sweeping, Kayla. I mean it, no sweeping!”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure. I did know some of those facts. Not all of them, like the flowers.”

“See it was a good thing that I googled a ton of facts, right?”

“Yeah, thanks, babe. I love you, Tys.”

“I love you too, Kayla.”

中國新年 (zhong guo xin nian) - Chinese New Year - February 12, 2021

“I’m not sure how intense everything is going to be this year. My parents didn’t really explain. We might do the incense practice. I doubt it, though. It is possible that we might be making dumplings from scratch. But, I also think probably not. They would have told me to warn me because I am really clumsy. I would think it is a little bit more extravagant because Laura will also be joining us.”

“Kayla, slow down your brain. It will be ok.” Tyson tells Kayla trying to calm her down. 

“Yeah, you’re right. It shouldn’t be too bad. You won’t be meeting any extended family which is good. That would be chaos right there.”

Everyone in the car laughs at Kayla’s attempt at making a joke. 

When the car arrives at Kayla’s parents house, they are all greeted by Kayla’s mom. 

“Hi mom, you know Tyson, this is his mom, Laura; Laura, this is my mom, Judy, and my dad, Dave, my sister, Charlotte, her husband, Michael, and her daughter, Elizabeth.”

“Come in, come in. We aren’t doing the incense ceremony this year but we’ll be eating soon.  Come in, take a seat.” Judy says. 

“Hey, Kayla. What does that sign say?” Tyson asks, pointing to a sign hanging from the ceiling. 

“That says 新年快樂 (xin nian kuai le) which means Happy New Year!” Kayla explains. 

“Kayla, can you speak the language?” Laura asks. 

“Yeah, I can.”

“她說得很好 (ta shuo de hen hao).” Kayla’s grandmother pipes in. [she speaks very well]

“謝謝婆婆 (xie xie po po).” Kayla responds. [thank you, Po Po] “My Po Po said that my speaking is very good and I responded with a thank you. 婆婆這�� (po po zhe shi) Tyson, Laura; everyone, this is Po Po, or my grandmother.” [po po this is]

Kayla’s grandmother waves. “I can speak English, just not good.”

“It’s ok, Mrs. Po Po.” Tyson responds. 

Kayla and her grandmother chuckle in response. Before he can ask why, Judy is announcing that dinner is ready. 

“So, tonight’s dinner is pork dumplings, steamed fish in soy sauce, braised brisket stew, Yifu noodles, pea shoots, and bok choy.” Judy explains.  

Everyone sitting at the table all murmur small acknowledgements of how everything looks and smells really good.

“Hey, Tyson,” Kayla prompts. “Why don’t you tell everyone what each food represents in the terms of good luck and fortune. He’s been Googling things to impress me!”

Tyson’s face grows red and everyone giggles at Tyson’s embarrassment. “If you really want me to and it’s not really to impress you.”

“Please! You can show everyone all the new knowledge that you possess.”

Judy and Dave nod in agreement knowing that Tyson was the only one to put in all this effort for Kayla. 

“Um, ok,” Tyson begins, awkwardly. “The dumplings are symbolic of wealth and money; the fish is symbolic of wanting a surplus, I think. I read the surplus is more for the harvest than anything else; however, it can be used synonymous with wanting a surplus of luck in your career. The noodles represent a long life or longevity. And that’s all I can remember.”

“The vegetables represent wishing long life upon elders,” Elizabeth pipes in knowing that Tyson missed that one. 

“Very good,” Kayla’s grandmother praises both Tyson and Elizabeth with a smile. Tyson smiles back at her. 

The rest of the meal passed in conversations that were filled with catching up, sharing embarrassing stories of Kayla, remembering stories of past New Year’s celebrations, and getting to know the new members of the group, Tyson and Laura. 

“Remember when Gong Gong got a haircut but it was so short that it looked like he had no hair and one of the great-uncles told him just to shave it off?” Charlotte remarked with a giggle. [Gong Gong is grandfather.]

“Or, remember that one year we had Chinese New Year at Auntie Lisa’s house and she burned all the food so we ate ramen?” Michael says, reminiscing of the Chinese New Year of his and Charlotte’s first year of dating.

“How about that time that Kayla was in charge of bringing the dumplings into the dining room and she dropped them all over the floor? She was crying so badly and refused to leave the bathroom.” Charlotte says knowing how to bother her sister.

“Yeah! And the rest of you laughed at me and let me be there. I probably would still be in there if it weren’t for Gong Gong. He told me the story of when he messed up the dumplings.” Kayla defends herself. Tyson rubs her back in reassurance.

“I don’t remember that story,” Judy says. Charlotte and Po Po nod in agreement.

“Really? He said that when he was thirteen or fourteen, he was in charge of making the dough for the dumplings. He made it too watery and didn’t know how to fix it. He kept on adding flour but it wouldn’t harden or solidify. He opted to just cook the meat in the shape they would have been inside the dumplings. Gong Gong told me that Wai Po was so mad at him that they didn’t talk for three days.” Kayla spells out. [Wai Po is great-grandmother.]

“I don’t ever remember hearing this.” Judy says.

“I think he told me it wasn’t a New Year Celebration. Just a family dinner. Maybe that’s why.”

“What other stories has Gong Gong told you that we don’t know about?” Charlotte asks, feeling left out.

“Do you know about the story about the chicken he lost but found?” Kayla asks.

“No, what’s that story?” 

“He was working in the chicken coop one day and when he got there that morning, he noticed that the gate was already open. When he counted the chickens, there were only six, not seven. Gong Gong spent the entire day trying to find the chicken. He was going to tell Wai Gong and Wai Po. He went into his bedroom before he went to confess and he heard a loud noise from the dresser. He opened it and inside was one of the chickens! Gong Gong was so happy that he grabbed the chicken and danced around with it. That was a bad idea because the chicken scratched Gong Gong’s face. Wai Gong and Wai Po still found out because of the scratch.” [Wai Gong is great-grandfather.]

“I remember that story,” Judy says, smiling at when her father told the story to her. 

“Obviously, Kayla was the favorite granddaughter of Gong Gong,” Michael says, getting a laugh out of everyone, except for Charlotte. Charlotte has a pout on her face.

“Don’t worry Charlotte, you are Po Po’s favorite.” Kayla’s grandmother tells her granddaughter. “You have already given me great-grandchildren. Kayla has not.”

Kayla’s grandmother’s response gets an exasperated ‘hey!’ from Kayla.

“Don’t worry, I’m still waiting for grandchildren from Kayla and Tyson, too.” Laura chimes in and now it’s Tyson’s turn to give the same exasperated ‘hey!’

“Us too,” Dave responds.

“I am younger than Charlotte. The least you could do is give me some time!” Kayla defends herself. She is met with an ‘if you say so’ and Tyson was getting a glare from Kayla’s father. “At least I was Gong Gong’s favorite. That has to mean something.”

Once the meal was finished, Chinese tea was brought out to the table and the beginning of the exchange of lucky Red Envelopes began. 

“The tea is to honor our elders and ancestors. We have to drink it to remember where we came from and to honor and celebrate where we may get to and become.” Judy explains.

“Do I have to drink this tea? It’s yicky.” Elizabeth whines. Kayla’s sister, Charlotte gives her daughter a stern look but Elizabeth continues complaining about the tea. 

“Lizzie, you have to drink the tea.” Kayla’s grandmother explains. “It’s tradition.”

“I hate tradition, then!” Lizzie exclaims and then storms out of the room. Charlotte and Michael apologize profusely and then go and find Lizzie.

“I always hated drinking tea, too,” Kayla’s grandmother explains. “But tradition is important to pass down.”

“I actually like this tea,” Laura says, trying to ease the awkwardness. “May I ask what kind of tea it is?”

“It’s Oolong tea,” Judy responds. “It symbolizes the wish for good health.”

“Maybe I should drink this every morning, then!” Tyson jokes and gets a laugh out of everyone. 

Kayla is about to agree with Tyson when Charlotte, Michael, and Elizabeth come back into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry for my outburst, Po Po” Elizabeth says sadly. “I’m sorry for disrespecting the honor of our family traditions.”

No one says anything because everyone is waiting for Kayla’s grandmother to respond first. Kayla’s grandmother gets up and everyone is hesitant as to what she might say.

“I was like you and didn’t want to participate in tradition. It is important to remember.” Kayla’s grandmother says to Elizabeth. When Elizabeth nods, Kayla’s grandmother smiles and pulls out a Red Envelope for Charlotte. 

“這是你的紅包 (zhe shi ni de hong bao)” Kayla’s grandmother says. [This is your red envelope.]

“恭喜發財, 外婆. (gong xi fa cai, wai po)” Elizabeth replies with a bow and hugs her grandmother. [Wishing you luck and good fortune, Great-Grandmother.]

After Kayla’s grandmother gives her red envelope to Elizabeth, the exchange continues with Judy, Dave, Charlotte, Michael, and Kayla receiving theirs. Each responds the same as Elizabeth. A surprise for both Laura and Tyson is when Kayla’s grandmother walks over to them to give them red envelopes. Both are shocked and don’t know how to respond. Tyson gives Kayla a look and she jumps in to help him and Laura. 

“You respond with gong xi fa cai and then bow.” Kayla tells Tyson and Laura. Both of them reply hesitantly not wanting to butcher the language too bad. When Kayla’s grandmother smiles and nods at Kayla, Tyson releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding and smiles at Kayla.

After Kayla’s grandmother gives her red envelopes, Judy passes out her red envelopes to Charlotte, Michael, Kayla, and Elizabeth. The four of them then reply the same way. Once again, Tyson and Laura are surprised when Judy gives them red envelopes. The pair have to look to Kayla again for how to respond. After they finish replying, Charlotte then gives her red envelope to Elizabeth and Kayla gives her red envelope to Elizabeth as well. 

Once the exchange of red envelopes had been completed, Kayla’s grandmother lightened up the mood by asking, “Who wants dessert?” For dessert that night was sesame balls and glutinous rice cakes. 

. . .

“Congrats, Tys,” Kayla says as she and Tyson are getting ready for bed. “My grandmother likes you. And Laura, too.”

“How do you know that?” Tyson questions skeptically. 

“A. You learned about Chinese culture willingly. B. She gave you a red envelope. And, C. she talked to you. If she didn’t like you then she wouldn’t have talked to you at all.”

Tyson doesn’t say anything, still skeptical about that fact. “Don’t worry, Tys. I think she knows you’re a good person and that you are going to be in the family for a while and help me make great-grandchildren for her.”

That remark got a smile out of Tyson. Tyson was about to say something but he stopped when he saw you put your red envelopes under your pillow case. 

“Kayla, what are you doing?” 

“I am putting my red envelopes under my pillow case.”

“No yeah, sure I see that, but why?”

“It’s for luck purposes. You put them under your pillow and wait fourteen days before you open them.”

“Good to know. Let me do the same.”

Once settled into bed and red envelopes securely under the pillow, Kayla and Tyson cuddle into each other. On both of their faces are soft smiles at how great the day went. 

Part two will be posted on February 19, 2021

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