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ravensmadreads · 9 months

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Unhinged totally unasked for thots about Riding Pedro Boys

Authors Note: So this came from me chugging entirely too many energy drinks and then projectile vomiting in Taylors inbox. I'd like to warn you that: English isn't my first language, I have never written smut before, I'm not a real writer, and also I'm trash goblin levels of unhinged about this. That being said; Enjoy and uhh. Forgive me Fandom

JAVIER PEÑA

Javier Pena doesn't let you do it.

Don't @ me LISTEN! (YES I STARTED OFF WITH A CONTROVERSIAL THOT FUCKING BITE ME.)

That man does not have the time, or the patience, or the good sense (the sense is at the other end) to let you ride. He needs the control okay? And sometimes it's not even about the control ! It's the frustration. It piles and piles and piles until he snaps. He needs to do. He will bend you over and work his frustration away until he has had enough and you let him because he needs it. (And lets be real he makes it worth your while every single time)

BUT. When he finally fucking retires, and gets a ranch, and breaths air not tinged with the smells of death, cigarettes and guns for the first time in however many years, and maybe drinks some fucking water, he takes you out on a date. He fumbles through the entire thing, panics because he thinks he blew it, still manages to get you home, gets ridden for the first time in like 6 years, and can't walk straight for an entire day and stammers every time someone asks him why.

JAVIER GUTIERREZ

Javi G loves it. He loves watching you. Gets all puppy dog wide eyed (remember the pool scene face??? Thats it.) and you have to really focus because his look of straight up wonder and awe and bright eyed eagerness makes you want to cry. He's panting like he's running a marathon, running his big hands EVERYWHERE he can reach. He makes you feel worshipped and adored and so very very loved. Thanks you after. For being so amazing, and so wonderful to him, and thanks the universe that he found you. Cause he's sap. You definitely cry after.

JOEL MILLER

(Watch me be controversial again) Joel is fucking tired okay? He has old man bones and creaky joints and his back is achy. Patrol was agony, Jesse wouldn't shut up the entire time, and Tommy was giving him shit, and he has no energy to drill anyone into the mattress (as much as we all want him to). He's just plain tired. He likes you on top. Likes it slow (like a roast chicken on a sunday slow). Enjoys the gradual build up, likes to lean back, watch with half open eyes as you take your time. Wants to indulge in something beautiful at the end of the world, and that something is you. He makes sexy grunting noises, mutters a whole lot of praise ~and filth~ and just y'know. Savours it. 🫠🫠🫠 savours you. 🫠

DIETER BRAVO

Dieter is a maniac. (Leave him alone he has adhd!!) He can't still still for the life of him so you best believe he changes positions 6 times and the only way you're getting to ride is if you're also putting some weight elsewhere. To hold him down! You squeeze his neck once and he MELTS. INSTANTLY. Loses all sense. Starts babbling and whimpering and making extremely pathetic noises. Will definitely buck up and whine. PRAISES YOU. BEGGING. LOUD NOISES.

MAX PHILLIPS

Max is a heathen. He just likes watching you bounce. That's it. That's the post :p

MARCUS PIKE

Marcus P is a romantic. He will be doing the whole "lean forward and try to get kisses in between" while also "moaning and maintaining eye contact" and he's holding you so tight , squeezing your sides and also muttering declarations of love. About how he wants a life with you, and a family, and a home, and a future. How he's going to "make you so happy baby, I promise I will, I swear to you". Doesn't let you off for from on top of him for atleast a half hour after; kissing all over your face and rubbing your back and petting your hair "I meant all of it sweetheart. I want all of you." shsbzgwgsvsg ilovehimsomuch and I've only ever seen gifsets of this man what is wrong with me

MARCUS MORENO

Marcus M is A MENACE. He wears his stupid glasses, and has his stupid shirt off, while he does stupid taxes/meeting plans in bed. You keep throwing side glances and getting increasingly wound up and he just has this gentle smirk but he's mostly ignoring you. You sidle up to him and maybe start kissing his jaw, laying gentle pecks down his neck, and he's still fukcungh working "Baby. I need to finish this. I'm sorry, you need to wait." But that smirk is still there and it's driving you crazy and maybe you keep kissing until you reach his *coughs* and then you're working on getting him interested. You can still hear the fucking pen scratching though and so you go deeper, and he raises an eyebrow. "be good now honey" You're settling in his lap and he has you sitting there until he has finished his paperwork with you whimpering and trying not to squirm because you want to be good you really do and you know he'll make it so much better but he feels so good and when he's finally finally done you get to move but you're so wound up you can't pull yourself together enough to find a rhythm and you're nearly in tears and he has to grip your sides and murmur instructions in your ear and help you until you're satisfied and just when you think he's done, and about to flip you over, he adjusts his grip and starts moving from underneath you until you're crying and he's finished ~which doesnt happen until you've come 2 more times~

DAVE YORK

Dave. Oh my gosh Dave. Dave is a strict dom if ever there was one. With him it's a punishment. He'll tell you to hold off until he's done which is freaking impossible with how deep he gets, and how he likes to warm up his hands on your butt while you're trying desperately to hold onto that last thread of control. He is muttering absolute filth, holding your arms behind your back with one hand while the other is either laying smack after smack or rubbing you furiously all the while he's got the smuggest look. "Don't you dare baby. Be a good girl now. Listen and obey for once". But you can't because he's not fair and he knows it. And when you do finally fall apart he's clenching his teeth trying to hold back himself and his hands are holding you up as you gasp his name like it's the only word you know. He's running his hands down your back and kissing you softly and helping you catch your breath and when you finally get your heart to stop pounding and look up at him, he's watching you with this dangerously soft smile and he goes "oh you're in for it now aren't you honey?" and kisses your forehead while you try not to whimper.

FRANKIE MORALES

Frankie is a soft boy. He loves it. Craves it. He loves giving up control. Wants you to tie him up and have your way until he has no thoughts left in that pretty little head. He is swearing like an absolute sailor the entire time, calling you ma'am, begging to be released so he can kiss you and touch you, absolutely nearly breaks the head board once he was so desperate. Wants to be edged but also is the biggest WIMP about it. Will pout and swear and beg and plead but then want you to deny him again. Will definitely be mumbling absolute nonsense once you're done. Needs all the aftercare. Blushes pink when he gets it. Wraps himself around you like a HUGE koala bear after. ~and returns the edging favour 3 times over when he gets in his Captain Francisco Morales Mood~

JACK DANIELS

BONUS TWO I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT and tumblr won't let me put gifs for:

Jack makes every single cowboy joke known to man. You have to put your hand on his mouth to get him to shut the hell up. His eyes get all glassy when you do. He puts his hat on top of your head and busies himself in your neck (dual benefits: A. He shuts up and B. HICKIES) will definitely drag you on top of him in his Bronco (he likes to show off) will pull up on the side of the road almost 70% of the times you drive together. Bites you over your clothes. Loves the way you grab desperately at this leather jacket. Definitely makes you bend over and 'clean up the mess sugar' before driving like the hounds of hell are after him all the way back home and doing it all over again because "we gotta make you a mama now love"

PERO TOVAR

Pero got married after he came back and retired as a sell sword. His wife is a soft but sassy thing who's a little (read: not at all, she returns his snark twice over) intimidated by him but also thinks he's a good man because he saved her village from raiders. She has seen him grumble and snark at but then also share his food with the orphans who works at the village inn. She's inexperienced (let me live my victorian life) and he doesn't really think he deserves her but also he's not so much an idiot to say no to someone like her. She's the village "healer" and he met her when he got stabbed by one of the raiders (arm wound: not serious.) He has to teach her. She gets shy and flustered, which is a total 180 from her sassy self, and Pero loves it. She makes the most amazing sounds that have him thinking that maybe he did something right in his life to end up in her arms. She wants to please her new husband and asks her married friends for advice and they tell her about this new position. So she asks him, stuttering and tripping over words, if she could try something she heard about? From a friend? She straddles him and Pero loses his mind. He's closing his eyes and clenching his jaw so hard and she's whimpering in the most DELICIOUS way and he's trying so hard to hold back and let her take her pace and she's so worried "am I not doing it right?" Pero has to take 3 deep breaths before he's centred enough to answer and then he helps her. Puts his hands on her hips to guide her. Puts one of her hands on his shoulder "steady now pequenita" and puts the other low on her belly and presses in so she can feel him. Loves the way she cries out. Bends forward to leave little marks everywhere he can reach. She's scrambling at his chest, leaving nail marks he loves, and finally grabbing his hair and pulling until he groans. And when they're both done and sated and sweaty he kisses her, looks her in the eye and winks. "I'm going to have to go thank your friend now, mi esposa."

DIN DJARIN

Din and you dont have time. The razor crest is finally in hyperspace, you got shot at for the 50th time in 2 weeks, (because Murphys Law seems to be the only law Mando never breaks), you're exhausted, sweaty, and the giggly green monster of chaos only made you chase him down from the top of a weapons cabinet twice before he finally decided to take a nap. You're frustrated, and in desperate need of a shower, and a nap, but also you can't get the image of Mando fighting out of your head. Before you know it, the hormones have taken over and you're attacking him in the pilot seat. The bucket is off (I refuse to look at my own reflection in the tin cans helmet while we do the do), he's got you arching into him, your shirt is half torn from the top because Din refuses to wait for "so many fucking buttons Meshla" the gloved hand is squeezing the back of your neck, his mouth is on your chest, his other hand (you only managed to get one glove off) is splayed out on your back. You're riding him like you're trying to break him and his thigh holster? thing (do i look like i can figure out what they're called?) is digging marks into your skin but you're too turned on to care. It's frantic, it's messy, you're PRAYING the tiny green menace stays asleep as you do your best to muffle your sounds. The refresher isn't big enough for a round two, (you still do your best), and your legs feel like jelly, when you finally pass out; curled up on top of the human space heater while he hums Mando'a in your ear.

*****

TAGGING: @chronically-ghosted (you are a menace but ily)

@fuckyeahdindjarin (here I go trying that writing thing again, stop me pls)

#raven writes #i apologize for all of this #idk what came over me #i was possessed #and taylor refused to sedate me #javier pena x reader #dieter bravo x reader #javier gutierrez x reader #joel miller x reader #marcus moreno x reader #marcus pike x reader #dave york x reader #pero tovar x reader #din djarin x reader #max phillips x reader #frankie morales x reader #jack daniels x reader

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writersblockiskillingme · 5 months

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Call It What You Want | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader (singer!reader)

Summary: You lost your reputation, but you gained something so much better.

Warning/s: angst, fluff later on, hostage situation, online bullying, hate comments, stalking, reader has a stalker, famous reader, mentions of guns and knives (light use too), marriage, pregnancy, about babies and birth, in this the song is referred to as Y/N's song (that's not true of course), pet names (pretty boy, gorgeous, love...), also skipped a few parts of the song (sorry)

Author's note: So reader basically entered her Reputation era, but with a happy ending. That's it.

Y/N - your name

Y/L/N - your last name

My castle crumbled overnight

I brought a knife to a gunfight

They took the crown, but it's alright

All the liars are calling me one

Nobody's heard from me for months

I'm doing better than I ever was

The cold breeze of the night in the middle of the giant city as you walked perhaps wasn't doing doing you any favors at all. The coat that you wore wasn't really doing its job. It was supposed to keep you warm during the nights out like this one, but it was anything but. You felt yourself crossing your arms in hopes to pull your coat tighter to yourself so you could gain some warmth, but sadly it wasn't working.

With a disappointed, quiet sigh you swang the bag you had in front of yourself hunting for your keys as you walked along the secured parking lot. You passed a whole lot of cars as you continued to trash through your bad, but not one of those cars was yours.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached your car, the sound of your keychain juggling as you tried to get a hold of the key properly.

The whole time you were walking over to your car you felt an overwhelming sensation of the feeling that something, or rather someone, was following your every step. Panic was drowning you as you tried to get into your car as fast as you possibly could.

However, once you finally managed to put the key in due to your shaking hands, you felt a hand covering your mouth. The last thing you heard was your own terrified scream before you drifted into unconsciousness.

The coldness of the uncomfortable chair send a million of shivers down your spine. Your head was pounding so much that it started to be unbearable. At that moment you tried to bring your palm onto the side of your head, but you couldn't move your hands. At that moment you noticed the tight rope with which you were tied up in a chair.

You felt a sense of panic wash over you as you pulled against the ropes, but it was no use. It wasn't working like you hoped it would.

Suddenly, though, you heard a sound that you were sure would haunt you forever if you ever got out of there. The laugh of the person that took you hostage.

"Don't worry, my love," The vile man smiled at you. "Now you can finally be mine forever."

It sickened you.

The way he approached you, the way he slowly reached out to you to place his hand on your cheek as he talked to you. You felt like you could throw up at the sight of it alone.

"How- how did you..." your voice trembled as you spoke, trying to hold your ground, but to no use. "Why did you do this?"

"I've been watching you for a while, gorgeous," He said, rubbing circles against your cheek. "You are simply gorgeous, I just had to have a pretty thing like you."

You were terrified because at that moment you realized that it was over. You were never getting out of this. Your stalker would make your life a living hell just because of the way you looked and the fact that you did what you loved since you were a child.

He slowly let go of your cheek as he stepped back, not once breaking the eye contact with you. You couldn't help but let one tear slide down your cheek. It was over for you.

And just as you began to drown in your own sorrows, the door of the basement in which he held you were broken down.

"FBI!" Someone yelled out, the flash of the lights that filled the room were too bright, you couldn't see the FBI agents that entered. "Don't move!"

The guns were held up, surrounding your stalker who was, thankfully, weaponless.

Your head was hurting you even worse than it did before because of the flashing lights, but you had never felt a bigger sense of relief washing over you than at the moment when they forcefully entered and you felt someone moving to you.

"Are you okay, miss?" You turned your head slowly, in fear that your head was going to ache even more. The last thing that you wanted was to faint now.

"Y-Yes," You barely whispered to the man who was untying you as fast as he possibly could. "Thank you."

"Reid!" You heard another man shout, his voice ringing with authority. "Get her our of here now."

Perhaps you were still frozen from the shock, but you didn't know exactly how you suddenly got outside. You were sat down as the paramedics checked over you. Your head was still spinning and everything was hurting you, but it could've been worse.

At that moment, Spencer stood aside watching over you silently. He couldn't help himself. He simply couldn't help but to admire you as the paramedics did their job.

"What's up with you, pretty boy?" Derek came over to him, his voice hinting that he was really for teasing. "You have a crush on our singer, huh?"

"W-What? No, of course not." Spencer felt himself flush and Derek stared to laugh at the genius.

"Really?" Morgan mockingly put his hand on his chest to express that he didn't believe anything that came out of Spencer's mouth. "Because, if I'm being honest, pretty boy, your staring kind of gave it away."

Spencer was growing more red as the seconds passed. He kept quiet up until Derek stopped laughing and looked at him.

"You should ask her out." He suggested.

"I don't know." Spencer whispered so quietly that Morgan almost didn't catch it.

Before Morgan could say anything else the voice of one of the paramedics announced that you were free to go, and Spencer felt himself suddenly walk over to you without even realizing it as Morgan continued to watch with amusement.

"Hey."

You turned around at the sound of Spencer's voice and Spencer felt like his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your eyes were sparkling brighter than the stars that covered the cold night sky and he felt himself getting flushed again.

"Am... I- I was wondering i-if you would like me t-to take you home." Spencer stuttered a bit as you made eye contact with him, listening to him speaking."

You smiled at him, he was truly, utterly gorgeous. "That's really sweet, but I don't want to bother you."

"Please, it would be a pleasure to make sure you come home safe."

And so, after a while, you accepted his request and made a promise in front of the door of your apartment to keep in touch with the FBI agent who saved your life and will continue to save your life for as long as there is air in his lungs and the stars in his eyes.

'Cause my baby's fit like a daydream

Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

My baby's fly like a jet stream

High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

After all that happened to you with your stalker that was now put into prison, you decided to dissappear from the public eye for a while. You yearned for a break that was much needed. But with the break that you publicly announced and a promise to dissappear for a while you had to be more careful.

The trips to the simple places like grocery stores were yet another opportunity to dress up so no one could possibly recognize you. At that time, the number of the baseball caps, and a whole bunch of oversized hoodies, seemed to drastically increase and it continued to do so.

But there was a minor slip-up after 6 months since you disappeared.

It was a surprisingly quiet night. Spencer returned from the case earlier and you decided to take a walk around the town after visiting a local coffee shop.

You were so wrapped up in each other, soaking up every moment you had with each other. Sharing a whole lot of stolen kisses, looks, his hand nested itself on your shoulders, sharing laughter and smiles, eyes spanking. They were full of happiness and utter joy every time you were with him.

What neither of you expected was for Penelope practically tearing down the whole conference room, almost breaking down the door the next day just so she could get to Spencer.

Spencer was sitting at his chair, looking over the files along with everyone else when he found himself being startled as he watched Penelope waving the newest copy of today's newspaper as she practically screamed in excitement.

He was rather confused by her suddenly excitement even though it wasn't unusual for her. But once he saw her slamming the newspaper in the middle of the desk he felt himself getting pale.

Spencer and you made a cover of today's news. The headline, written in overly dramatic big letters with the fine print, read "AFTER 6 MONTH SHE MADE AN APPERCEIVE! FAMOUS SINGER Y/N Y/L/N SEEN WITH A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER!!"

Just below the headline there was a picture of him and you from the night before. His arm was placed over your shoulders, bringing you closer to warm you up and keep you safe. His face was somehow, somewhat, covered by his hair because of the wind that couldn't be contained that night. Your hand was holding his that was slang over your shoulders. Your smile was radiant, your eyes shining as you kept your gaze on him. He couldn't help but smile a little at the photo.

"Explain yourself now, Spencer Reid!" Penelope shrieked, her voice getting higher each second. "What the hell are you doing with freaking Y/N Y/L/N!!"

He started stuttering so much, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation, but his nerves got the best of him. Suddenly, he felt a hand slapping his back sending him forward a bit as Morgan laughed.

"Good for you, pretty boy." Morgan smiled at him, teasingly. "Good for you."

All my flowers grew back as thorns

Windows boarded up after the storm

He built a fire just to keep me warm

All the drama queens taking swings

All the jokers dressin' up as kings

They fade to nothin' when I look at him

Pretty soon a year had passed since the hostage situation which included you being in danger.

A year since you met Spencer, a year of nothing but love and happiness.

Spencer opened the door of his apartment and held it like that so you could get into the apartment before him.

You stepped into the apartment, shaking the snowflakes that stuck to your head on this, quite cold, night in late November. You stood still for a moment, admiring Spencer as he removed his purple scarf before quickly lighting up the fire in the fireplace so that the warmth could spread around your home.

However, you noticed the slight change in his demeanor as you sat yourselfs on the couch near the fireplace. You, however, decided to not say anything because you knew that he would say what he wanted to once he was ready. You didn't want to put more pressure on him, but the plain fact that he was nervous made you extremely so, too.

Finally, Spencer took a deep breath before he turned to you.

"I know that this might seem sudden," Spencer started as he shyly looked into your concerned eyes that watched him talk carefully. "But I feel like I know you for longer than a year. I feel like I've known you my whole life. You complete me in every possible way one person can complete another. You bring immense joy in my life every single day. You show me that life and even people can be good every single day and I believe you despite all of the horrible things I see every day."

You were deeply touched by his confessed, but you were slightly confused because you could quite figure out as to why he was saying all of this to you right now.

"I can't imagine not waking up to you every moment," Spencer confessed, looking longingly into your eyes and you found yourself surprised when the sudden realization that he didn't stutter once drained on you. "I can't imagine seeing you every day, listening to your voice and admiring everything that you do."

Suddenly, he stood up and slowly lowered himself on one knee in front of you. He held out a small box in his hand before he continued to speak. You felt like you couldn't breathe once you realized what was about to happen, what was already happening.

"I simply can not imagine my life without you in it," Spencer continued as tears gathered in your eyes. "Will you make me the happiest man on this planet and marry me?"

"Yes!" You spoke up after you had gotten over your frozen state of shock. "Yes, of course I'll marry you, Spence!" You said, voice full of love as he slipped a beautiful ring onto your finger.

As you sat there by the fire, you knew that you had found the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. The snow continued to fall outside, but you knew that nothing could beat the warm feeling in the apartment and in your heart.

And I know I make the same mistakes every time

Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right

I did one thing right

I'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers

Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right

Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

Two years flashes by to fast for you to keep up it seemed like.

Spencer and you got married as fast as you possibly could. You love each other more than anything and you were ready so you figured why not do it immediately. The life had been a bliss. And just when it seemed like it couldn't be better you found out that you were pregnant.

Spencer was overjoyed. He always wanted to have children, he always wanted to be a father. And now he could do it with the person he most loved, admired and cared for. He truly felt like passing out the moment he found out. And he did, but would always deny it with a blush glued to his face every time Morgan brought it up to tease him.

The moment your water broke all hell broke loose. Luckily, Spencer was at home so the only thing you had to do was to grab your hospital bag, keys and head to the car. You were 100% prepared for this.

However, you always felt like the moment it happened and it was finally time to go to the hospital you would be the one who would go into a panicked frenzy. So it was safe to say that you were genuinely surprised that once Spencer and you managed to stumble into the car and were on your way, you were the one who had the role of comforting the one who was in panic. Spencer was gripping the wheel so tightly you were scared that he would break it. It would be rather amusing if you weren't in so much pain already.

But after hours of labor and excruciating following hours of birth once you felt limp against the mattress, still holding onto Spencer's hand which you gripped so hard, but he never once complained, bless his heart, everything truly was worth it once you heard the loud yet at the same time soft cries of your baby girl.

Now, as you laid in the bed in another hospital room you couldn't move your eyes away from the sweet sight of Spencer sleeping in the chair right next to your bed with your baby girl in his arms. It was truly the sweetest sight you had ever witnessed. Spencer's messy hair was spread everywhere as his arms tightened around your little bundle of joy, but not to tightly to hurt her. The moment he got her in his arms, he wouldn't let her go. You guessed that he was afraid thay something unexpected would happen even though you gave your best to reassure him.

After hours of sleeping once you woke up, you could fall back asleep for some reason. Not that you complained.

You heard the door open and you turned your head that was still pressed against the pillow on the bed at the direction of the door. It was JJ, trying to enter as quietly as she possibly could while carrying a few cups of coffee.

"How are you, mama?" She whispered softly as he took a seat on another chair on the other side of your bed.

"Still a bit sore, but fine." You gave her a small smile that she softly returned. "I'm just so glad that this happened." You confessed quietly as you looked at JJ.

"I made a lot of mistakes in my life," You said as she listened to your every word. "But having our daughter with him... I know that I did one thing right."

I want to wear his initial

On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck

Not because he owns me

But 'cause he really knows me

Which is more than they can say, I

I recall late November

Holdin' my breath, slowly I said

"You don't need to save me

But would you run away with me?"

Yes (would you run away?)

A few months later another headline was released in many newspapers and magazines. There were a bunch of articles all over internet, too.

The newest addition of the People's magazine was laying on Penelope's dest by her screens. Derek soon enough entered the room with a curious look.

"Hey, baby girl," He greeted as he pressed a kiss on Penelope's cheek, looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the newest addition of the magazine. "What are you up to?"

"Why hello handsome," she greeted with a smile before she brought the attention back to the magazine. "Look who made the cover."

And sure enough, on the front cover of the magazine, at the very top, there was a headline written with big, capital letters saying: Y/N Y/L/N MARRIED!? THE MUSIC STAR WAS SEEN WITH HER HUSBAND AND HER BABY OUT ON THE WALK FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!"

Below the dramatic headline there was a picture of Spencer and you holding hands, dressed in warm clothes as you walked around the city on a cold, snowy November night. In front of you there was a stroller in which your daughter, Annie, was in. Your hand was quite visible along with the ring that was clearly a weeding ring. Spencer had his arm around your shoulder, showcasing his ring as well.

On the bottom of the cover there were some other news that were in slightly smaller font. You also released the new song after a long while. The song was called "Call It What You Want" and it said to turn the page 13 for the full lyrics and Derek did just that.

Penelope couldn't help but to let out a screech after she practically showed the magazine in his face. And just as Derek finished reading the lyrics to the song he couldn't help but to smile.

"Good for you, pretty boy," Derek pointed out, happily. "Good for you."

"Give me the magazine back," Penelope excitedly ordered him. "I'm gonna frame this now."

My baby's fit like a daydream

Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to

(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it)

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

My baby's fly like a jet stream

High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new

(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it)

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

Call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want

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slackerlifewhere · 11 days

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In defense of Deruth

Fair warning, there will be some SPOILERS so if you haven't finished the first novel or you care about spoilers, I suggest you don't continue reading. Thanks!

I'm a reader of fanfics, manga, manhwa, manhua, and novels. I basically consume different stories whenever I'm bored (which I usually am).

But the things I've read most often involve parents, which I'm not really looking for but it's there so whatever.

I had to read stories with basically the same plot but different...ingredients but the thing I notice is that most stories involve abusive or neglectful parents. And it's weird to me. Like can't heroes or villains have good parents and they turn out the way they are because of other circumstances? Obviously, it's because authors want us to root for the character but for me, it's just lazy writing.

So imagine my annoyance when, after reading the first volume of TCF, I see several fics hating and trashing Deruth Henituse and saying he's the worst father in existence.

I get it. He's not the best father. His wife, who he loves very much, died and left him as a single father. He has responsibilities as a count and soon marries Violan who has Basen by then. They have another kid soon after, which is Lily. He seems to entrust the responsibilities of the heir to Basen after OG Cale's reputation took a nosedive. In a sense, he appears as if he doesn't care about OG Cale's feelings and reputation and looks like he's focusing on his other children.

BUT he's not the worst father either. Listen, you may hate him for whatever reason, whether you've consumed too many stories with bad parents or you see yourself in OG Cale, BUT he's an okay parent.

Let me list the top three fathers that are absolutely disgusting compared to him before I explain why I think he doesn't deserve all the hate he's getting:

1. Marquis Stan

We all know what happened to Taylor Stan and while we can blame it on Venion, it's also because of their father. Their father is basically an asshole who wants to see his children fight for the heir's position. And he doesn't care if they end up killing each other for it. It's basically like watching sports for him at this point. He's mainly the reason why Venion grew up into a twisted bastard. While yes, Venion is not innocent in any shape or form after what he did to his brother and Raon, it's obvious he became that way because of his father.

In fact, Taylor is also a victim of Marquis Stan's abhorrent parenting. He's not evil like his family but he learned to be independent and to fight back because he doesn't want to become like them. He died in the original story.

So yeah. Marquis Stan is absolutely disgusting and no one can change my mind that he's the worst existence among all the fathers in the story.

2. White Star

The only reason why he's not number 1 is because he's not a literal father but he does pose as one for DHB. If you know what he did to dragons, then I don't need to summarize it for you. For those who don't, you need to read the novel because it's going to be a long explanation. All I can say is that he's also the reason why DHB became so crazy. And honestly, I'm glad that even if Cale is very guarded at DHB, he still gave him the freedom to choose and repent later on.

3. Zed Crossman

He's the lesser evil of the two but he's kind of like Marquis Stan but tamer.

He basically has his three kids fight for the throne while ignoring or favoring one over the other. And he doesn't even try to hide that he doesn't care too much unless it involves his plans.

He basically wants to see who is more fit for the throne but he doesn't stop them from sabotaging one another.

Honestly, I put all the effort on Tasha and Obante's part that Alberu became a better person. Zed is completely useless.

---

So...is Deruth a bad father?

Before I answer that, here's the thing about OG Cale. He's a complex character who is grieving most of his life and wants to protect his siblings in his own twisted way. In order to do that, he needs to act like he's trash and push everyone away. But is that Deruth's fault? Eeeeh kinda but not really???

They both lack communication as father and son. In fact, the moment KRS, now Cale Henituse, was forcefully transmigrated into OG Cale's world, it's shown that Deruth is trying to communicate with his son.

The first few chapters show that he cares for his son in his own way when Cale sits down to join them in breakfast. He attempts to talk to Cale even though he was hesitant. He seems surprised but happy when Cale answered. Yeah, it's shitty that OG Cale's family and Ron didn't notice he got switched but in all honesty, it'll be hard for a normal person to come to the conclusion that a God was involved. If I were in their shoes, I would find it suspicious (probably thinking that something happened that changed that person's actions and personality) but I wouldn't think of transmigration or God of Death. Conspiracy theories aren't the first thing I'll think of. That's just dumb to use as an excuse for hating the Henituse family.

People, fans, want family drama but in all honesty, they're just ruining OG Cale's character in the way they do it. It's actually disrespectful to his sacrifice for his family. He made that deal with God of Death not only because he wants to see his mom but also because he wants his family to live after they all died in the war against the White Star. He lived through that war with him as the sole survivor of the whole family. That sucks. He could've stayed but he didn't want to and also because he already died in the future anyways. If he wants to help them as himself, I doubt he'll shut up about it to the God of Death, regardless if it's a literal god he's gonna argue with. Let me remind you that this guy is so stubborn, he made a trashy reputation to help his brother.

Instead of doing it himself, he chose to let KRS (who didn't know he's going to be involved in a war in another world btw) save his world and family in exchange for seeing his mother. He chose to leave not because of Deruth (not completely, at least) but because he simply wants to. And he's content with his decision, regardless of his regrets.

By the way, his mom, Jour, is also not pretty great if you think about her decision before she died (my unpopular opinion but whatever). I do think her final conversation with him and her following death traumatized him in a way that I can't help but feel angry for him. It's mainly the reason why he hates the Harris Village that Choi Han ended up in. It doesn't excuse his reaction to the village later on but it does explain why he hates the place, even if it's not their fault his mother died. So yeah, I don't like his mother (I'm not talking about her reincarnation btw. She's a kid). That's not the way to care for your son, ma'am.

Deruth is obviously trying but a relationship needs to work between two people and not just one. That's what you call a one-sided relationship, guys. It's why OG Cale and Violan are not close. Both of these characters don't try to be close, maybe not because they dislike each other but maybe because of a misunderstanding or whatever (who knows).

Cale only got close to her because he actually treats her with respect (also because...you know...he's an orphan and was abused as a kid so deep inside, he thinks Deruth and Violan are good but not the best parents). And whenever Cale gets hurt or is in a bad situation, we sometimes get their reaction. They're worried and angry for him. They want him to stay away from danger. In fact, the last few chapters are basically Deruth getting angry at Cale for endangering himself (completely understandable).

You can also argue that Deruth didn't try hard enough. Well, let me just tell you as someone who's been depressed since I was a kid that whenever my parents try to ask me what's wrong, I usually reply with "nothing" or "I'm fine." So for parents to try harder doesn't usually end up with a heart-to-heart talk unless the other wants to talk.

So yeah, I think KR novels and manhwa are basically the reason why some readers immediately jump in defense for the character they like because of possible abuse and neglect from parents. Without thinking about it properly. Like please, if you hate a character, at least try to understand them first and list down the other worst characters before you actually say that they're the worst.

Side note: The worst thing that I also notice is fans also target Basen and Lily. They include the whole Henituse family and write a fanfic about how abusive or neglectful all of them are. BASEN AND LILY ARE LITERAL KIDS. WTF ARE YOU GUYS THINKING. They didn't do anything to OG Cale??? They're just there?

Did I just create an account to rant about how stupid some fans are? Yeah, pretty much. You can hate on Deruth but don't include the kids. They're kids??? Without any involvement with OG Cale and Deruth's drama?

Reminder: I haven't read the second volume because I'm planning to read it when it's completely translated. That way, I won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.

#tcf #tcf manhwa #tcf fanfic #tcf novel #tcf spoilers #tcf cale #tcfderuth #tcf white star #tcfzed #trash of the count's family #lcf #lcf novel #lcf cale #cale henituse #deruth henituse

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fiapartridge · 3 months

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🌊 Luke Hughes is a need. congrats on 600!!!

now that we don't talk | luke hughes

"you part the crowd like the red sea, don't even get me started" - taylor swift, now that we don't talk

luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: growing up, luke was your best friend, but now all he felt like was a stranger.

warning(s): drinking, unrequited love

fia's notes 💌: aaa thank u! i closed my celly last week but i wanna finish all of the requests that i didn't get to before it ended! italics are the past, normal is the present !

You met Luke when you were ten. He had moved in next door and you were elated. You had never seen any kid your age on the street where you lived, so seeing the Hughes family unloading the white moving truck with big brown boxes, you quickly offered to help.

You met Jack first. He said you were tinier than a peanut and proceeded to pat your head and tussle your hair when Quinn walked over, scolding the younger boy for bothering you in the first place. Quinn felt mature to you, already someone you felt like you could trust with anything. You never had an older brother, or siblings in general, so the two boys felt somewhat like a safe haven.

But the moment you saw Luke, you swore the wind started blowing harder, his walk was in a time-bending slow-motion, and the blue birds started to sing in their place in the trees. He was perfect and you, as much as you believed that boys were icky and gross (and definitely containing cooties), you were in love. Earth-shattering, mind-numbing, heart-stopping love.

“Lukey, get over here!” Jack yelled, waving the curly-headed boy over to the moving truck where the three of you stood.

Growing flushed, you watched as Luke ducked under Jack’s arm, avoiding his daily ‘noogie’--- especially now that there was a girl in the vicinity. Scratching the back of his neck, he let out an awkward laugh. “I’m Luke.”

You wanted to ask for his favorite color, music artist, movie, tv show—you wanted to learn everything about him. But for now, you smiled softly, allowing the pink bubbles in your stomach to float up and into your cheeks as you nodded, saying, “I’m Y/N.”

The inside of the house was loud, lights flashing across every wall and red Solo cups trashed the floor. You had hesitated saying yes to your friends’ invite to this party, wanting so badly to just put on a face mask and watch YouTube videos in the safety of your apartment, but after realizing you hadn’t spent a night out in weeks, you agreed. So now, here you were, holding hands with your best friend in a skirt so short you had to pull down the hem every couple of inches as you marched through the party, avoiding crashing into drunken bodies and touchy frat guys.

“Let’s get you drunk, okay?” your friend shouted as she guided you towards the kitchen of the house.

“Y/N?” you heard your name shouted from across the kitchen island as you looked up, meeting Ethan Edwards brown and piercing eyes. He looked confused, rightfully so. You hadn’t seen him in months without a single reason as to why you vanished. You just…disappeared, like you were a figment of their imaginations. But there you were, alive in the flesh.

You tried to look away, act like you didn’t hear him, but when he called you again, more eyes settling on your small frame, you knew there was no other choice but to throw on a shy smile and say, “Hey, Eth.”

Rounding the island, he pulled you into a tight hug. The moment he touched you, it was like your knees wanted to buckle in and melt into his body. You missed him—especially his hugs. Pulling away, his hands stayed on your shoulders, scared that you would run away if he didn’t. “Where have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s been a couple months.”

“Still miss you. Luke does too, you know?”

“Eth,” you shook your head, clawing at his grip on your shoulders as his hands tightened. You didn’t want to talk about this. Not here and especially not now.

“He never told me what happened, but whatever he did, he was stupid, okay? And—”

“It’s okay,” you smiled weakly. “I’m over it. I’ve just been…busy,” you shrugged as if anything that came out of your mouth was remotely the truth.

He chose not to push you, knowing that if he did, you would probably be halfway across the house and towards the exit. As much as you were best friends with Luke, you were also best friends with Ethan, Mark, and Dylan. Losing Luke was losing everyone. And as much as it hurt seeing Ethan, it was nothing compared to seeing Luke.

“Luke!” someone shouted from the next room over. Ethan could feel you tense under his hands as you instinctively looked over your shoulder, immediately seeing him. It was like your eyes gravitated towards him no matter where he was. If Luke was in a Where’s Waldo book, you’d finish all the pages in less than 10 seconds.

He parted the crowd easily as partygoers stepped back upon his large steps and tall stature. He was known at the University of Michigan along with the rest of his family. Girls wanted to be with him, guys wanted to be his friend, professors passed him in every class just so he could play hockey. You could feel his presence in every room; it was loud and shook the walls like some sort of earthquake. You felt it in your heart and your stomach, in your legs and your chest. Luke just had that effect on people.

And when he entered the room, merely feet from you, it was like you were nothing, unrecognizable, because just as your eyes followed him everywhere, to him, you were nowhere to be found. Well, to be found, he would have to look first. But the thing was, Luke stopped looking. All you were to him was a stranger.

You were teenagers when your feelings for him began to grow more real than you had imagined them to be. You were sitting on a lounge chair in Luke’s backyard, swaddled in a blue beach towel as Luke’s curly wet hair dripped onto your exposed legs. You loved night swims and Luke loved seeing you happy. He didn’t love the cool night air and the frigid pool temperature against his pale skin, but any time spent with you was time well spent.

Your legs were in criss-cross-apple-sauce as Luke mirrored you on the other side of the chair.

“You know Brad Richards is taking Trisha Thompson to prom?” you asked. You didn’t even know they knew each other. You swore she was still dating Noah Turner, her boyfriend, well, now ex boyfriend, of three years. It made you wonder how people were just okay with going with someone they barely even knew. You went with Luke every year for every dance: homecoming, the winter ball, the spring fling, prom—everything.

And everytime he asked you, it felt like you two were real. Like he was your boyfriend and you were his girlfriend and everything was right in the world. And for a quick moment, you let yourself believe it. On nights like these, he was yours.

“Didn’t they start talking, like last week?” he responded, playing with the string of your bathing suit bottom.

“Yeah. Insane, right?”

“Super insane.”

You chewed your bottom lip, clawing at the fabric of the towel as you stared at your hands. “Are you going to prom?” He hadn’t asked yet and you were scared that he was going to take someone else; that your tradition of going together was over; that he grew up and got over you.

But he smiled, yelled for Jack and Quinn, and your face lit up. The two came outside with a big white cake with strawberries and blueberries and raspberries sprinkled over the top. There were light pink candles spread over the crown of the cake, and Ellen ran to Luke with a big white poster. Unrolling the paper, he held up a sign, saying, “They should call you sugar, you’re so sweet. But can I call you my date to prom?”

He dropped the poster as you threw your arms around him, whispering an excited ‘yes’ into his ears.

“You’ll go with me?” he asked, smiling. He knew you would say yes. You did every time, but he liked making you feel special. You deserved that and more.

“There’s no one else I’d rather go with.”

He walked past you and you swore you would have broken down right there. You felt suffocated, like the walls were closing in on you. You looked around, trying to find your friends but they were nowhere to be found. You were surrounded by Luke, Luke, Luke. Every turn you made, you swore you could see him ignoring you, acting like you were nothing.

But he saw you. You were the first person in that whole entire party that he saw. To be honest, he wasn’t going to even show up. He was ready to do a couple laps on the treadmill, take a shower, eat some dinner, and head to bed, but when he got a text from his teammates, telling him that you were there, he knew he had to go. He knew you weren’t going to talk to him after what he did to you, but you were still his person, and he still had to make sure you were safe.

You were at a New Years Eve party at UMich, one that Luke had invited you to. You were so excited, you thought tonight was the night. You were going to get that New Year's kiss, he was going to be your boyfriend, and you would be his girlfriend, and everything would be right in the world, something you had dreamed of since you were ten years old; since the moment you met him. You put on your best sparkly black dress, threw on some makeup, spritzed yourself with the perfume you knew he liked most, tossed on some very uncomfortable high heels, and found yourself at the party.

He was there the second you opened the door, handing you a beer upon arrival. Mark pulled you into a hug and Dylan begged you to play beer pong with him against Ethan and Luca. You agreed after sending a small smile to Luke, silently asking if it was okay.

He nodded. “I’ll be right here, okay?” he whispered in your ear as Dylan held your wrist, dragging you to the table.

You played until you sunk the ball in the last of Ethan’s and Luca’s cups, jumping into Dylan’s arms as you pranced around the table, rubbing it in the losers’ faces. You loved this feeling. With them, you felt loved, you felt excited, and electric. You never wanted that night to end.

And before you knew it, the countdown was beginning.

10…9…Dylan pushed you to the stairs, knowing you were on your way to Luke. Ethan and the rest of the boys sent each other knowing looks as you rolled your eyes, trying not to fall over as you made your way to the stairs of the house.

8…7…You knew the house like the back of your hand. You knew which bathroom to use when the rest were busy, which laundry room was strictly used for barf stains, and most importantly, which room was Luke’s.

6…5…You marched down the hall, seeing Luke’s room only a little ways away. Couples were already cuddled up against the walls, kissing before the countdown had even ended. For some reason, it made you even more excited. You were only 5 seconds away from kissing the love of your life.

4…3…Reaching his door, your hand held the knob as you pushed it open. And you swore you felt your heart plummet to the floor. Luke was there, he was right there, kissing a girl that wasn’t you. And you knew you shouldn’t be mad. He wasn’t yours. But some part of you, some big part of you, really believed he was.

2…1… “Y/N?” Luke pulled away from the girl as you stood at the door, your hand still on the knob. You were frozen. You didn’t know whether to run or cry. Did you even deserve to cry? It’s not like you guys were dating or anything. But sometimes it felt like it. And maybe he was like how everyone said he was. Maybe Luke Hughes was a fuck boy; a player.

“Happy New Year’s!” you heard everyone in the house shout as Luke replaced those words with shouts of your name. You ran. You turned around and ran down the hall, down the stairs, and past the boys. You ran outside, calling an Uber to get you, and take you away from this hell hole. You were embarrassed. You were so embarrassed. Everyone could see that you were in love with him; that you wanted that kiss to be with you. Ethan had rooted for you, Dylan had rooted for you, everyone had. But it didn’t matter if you knew his favorite color, his biggest fears, what he stored on the topshelf of his dresser. It didn’t matter if there was a picture of you on his bedside table, or that you went to every high school dance together, or if you held a Luke Hughes hoodie stash back at your dorm. Because in the end, you still weren’t enough for him.

“Y/N!” you didn’t turn around. You knew who it was based on just the sound of his voice alone. You knew it was Luke, but you were tired of being delusional and embarrassing yourself time and time again. “I didn’t mean to kiss her.”

You watched the unmoving street in front of you as if something extraordinary was going to happen. You couldn’t look at him, because surely you would have broken down the moment you were met with those green eyes.

“Y/N, please,” his hand landed on your shoulder as you blinked rapidly, trapping your tears within the walls of your eyes. You won’t let them slip. You won’t let him see you cry. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Luke. It was just a kiss.”

“It upset you—”

“I’m just tired,” you said harshly. “I just want to go home.”

“I’ll walk you, we can talk about this, and- and—”

You finally turned to him. He looked stressed, like he knew he was losing you, and he knew why but he was too afraid to admit it. Or maybe he was embarrassed. He knew you liked him, but the thing was, he didn’t feel that way for you. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much his friends pushed him to, his parents and siblings. You were his best friend and that’s all you ever were to him.

“I’m not mad. Whatever I felt for you, it’s okay, I think I’m done feeling that way.”

And just when he wanted to ask you what you meant by that, you hopped in the Uber that pulled up to the curb, closed the door, and drove away. You ignored his calls after that. You ignored his texts, his friends’ texts, his brothers’ texts. You were going to get over him, because just as much as it hurt to ice him out, it hurt even more to pretend to just be friends with him.

So he watched you at the party as you downed beers and danced with guys you’ve never spoken to before. He watched you play beer pong with your new friends and kiss people that he so badly wanted to keep you away from.

All he could do was watch, now that you don’t talk.

#> fias 600 celly! ★#luke hughes imagine #luke hughes imagines #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes fic #luke hughes angst #new jersey devils #nj devils imagine #nj devils #njd

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stagefoureddiediaz · 9 days

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Buck (and Eddie) mini meta - 7x10 (probably but could also be 7x09!)

I was going to make a quick post about this new shirt we have bts pictures of Buck and Eddie wearing - but well, I spiralled and it turned into this!! (under the cut to save your dash!)

So let's do Eddie first shall we!!

there are actually two shirts we've got bts of Eddie wearing which have me 👀👀👀

first up is this green number we have bts of him wearing at the firehouse (not 100% sure if this is an actual costume or just Ryan's clothes but I'm fairly sure it's an Eddie outfit!)

Why am I side eyeing so hard at this do you ask? well its a very similar shirt to the one we have seen him in before - in 5x13 when he has his break down. Its not the same, but similar - no cut off sleeves, but its the same army green.

We see this tee at he culmination of Eddie isolating himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) through the start of 5b and then blowing up his life in 5x13 - when he trashes his room and Chris calls Buck.

I think we're about to see something similar play out in the last couple of episodes of season 7 - Eddie increasingly choosing to isolate himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) as he spirals out with this vertigo arc. Ryan has said in interviews that Eddie will be isolated by the end of the season, this costume therefore parallels Eddies arc of 5b - especially if we include the use of white on Eddie as well (and Buck in Blue in the same scene!). Eddie does something drastic and then pretends everything is ok - before proceeding to spiral out and blow up his life in some way.

5x11 - we have the aftermath of Eddie leaving he 118 - dinner with Buck and Taylor when he and Buck have a mini disagreement about Eddie coming back to work - which is preceeded by us being shown how Eddie is not actually ok - leading in to 5x13 when Eddie has his breakdown whilst wearing an army green tee and Buck breaks down the door to get to him and literally steps in to the mess, bringing the 118 into help as well (represented by Bobby being there when Eddie wakes up).

Then we have season 7 - the aftermath of Eddie asking Marisol to move in with him and then it is made clear that Eddie has moved too fast, that he doesn't actually know Marisol, or ultimately feel comfortable with the relationship - and now we've watched him (still in white in the scene where he sees Kim) spiralling out and heading towards isolating himself in the same way he did in season 5. The use of a similar army green tee in 7x10 suggests that we're going to see something similar unfold as things come to a head in the vertigo arc. Im especially intrigued because Buck it seems is going to be in uniform for the scene (which side note plays into the Buck and Eddie blue green colour palette they've been using and in a reverse of the gym scene from 7x05!) we don't know where in the episode this scene falls, but my guess would be that its actually a scene from earlier in the episode - allowing for the blow up to happen and the fall out begin. (I also think this because of Helena and Ramon appearing - which I think will be later in the episode and in response to Kim's existence being more widely known about, but thats just me speculating!)

We do also have the t-shirt from 7x01 - which is not the same as the other two - its darker and more brownish than the two above, but it does play into a similar narrative - Eddie finding out about Chris and his multiple girlfriends and Buck stepping in (at Eddies request this time) to help and support the Diaz boys!

Eddie outfit two!

Then we have this outfit - which is contrary to popular belief, not the will reveal outfit, but actually the Ana as Eddies girlfriend reveal to Chris outfit.

The two outfits are very similar, but the will reveal outfit is a navy blue shirt (which is important as it plays into both blue/green and blue/yellow theory - which gains even more significance now we know that it is likely this was meant to be the beginning of at the very least a queer narrative for Buck and the implication is that it would've been the beginning of buddie canon) this shirt and the Ana reveal shirt are both black and have silver eyelets on the shirt opening

For me, the fact that it is the same outfit as that reveal rather than the will reveal is suggestive that this outfit is in some way going to be connected to the reveal of Kim. In the same way that the Ana reveal outfit is connected to two scenes

- Eddie telling Chris and the salad bowl getting smashed,

- Eddie realising Chris has gone missing only to find out he's run to Buck's

I feel like this one is also likely to be connected to two scenes - what they are and where this hospital scene fits within the wider episode, it is hard to fully form ideas on the full meaning behind the fact that he is wearing the same outfit. Because does this scene come before or after the arrival of Helena and Ramon, what is the connection to Bobby being in the hospital and Eddie wearing this outfit? My personal opiion is that this outfit is going to be involved in people finding out about Kim.

As an addition to this, we should also talk about the fact that Eddie always wears black in relation to key scenes with Marisol and Kim and it continues a trend of Eddie wearing black in key scenes in relation to his relationships.

When Eddie and Marisol meet at the hardware store he is in black, when asking her to move back out, black shirt. Then with Kim -both scenes with her when he talks to her he is in black - black shirt in the store and a black jacket when they go on their date.

He was also wearing Black in key moments with Shannon (divorce request scene as well as in flashbacks) and with Ana ( first meeting and panic attack scenes). I've spoken before about the choice to put him in a black singlet when he's in an emotionally vulnerable place, but with these additional scenes in mind, as well as the fact that we see him wearing black in the hospital during Bucks coma, as well as the fact we also get a similar shirt on Eddie back in 7x01.

I think its fair to associate black more generally with Eddie being in a vulnerable place emotionally - the singlets are just worn at points when those vulnerable moments are about to tip Eddie into something stupid and this makes the use of the singlet in 7x04 for the basketball game even more interesting as it places Eddie into emotional vulnerability around Bucks bi journey and less about Bucks own emotional vulnerability - plays a little into the idea that they were going to have Eddies queer journey come before Bucks!

From a purely speculative position - my feeling is that this outfit comes after the arrival of Helena and Ramon and possibly towards the end of the episode.

The fact Eddie is wearing it at the hospital is possibly important, but I get the feeling it will be an outfit with more than one key scene attached to it (much like Eddie being in a black shirt when Buck came out to him was in two key scenes - Bucks coming out and Eddie asking Marisol to move out).

In the same way that in season 4 the Ana reveal was paired with a scene where Chris runs to Buck my feeling is that we're going to see something similar in season 7 with this - further adding to the parallels between the two seasons (see this excellent post by @iinryer for more on those!).

Part of my thinking comes from the fact we had this other bts of Buck, Eddie, Chris and Helena and Ramon. So we know that Eddie will be wearing a maroon henley for a scene in this episode.

I've spoken about Eddie wearing maroon long sleeved tops in relation to things being about Chris and Eddie parenting, and this one is likely to follow that theme, especially with Chis seemingly wearing the same outfit he was wearing when the fact he had multiple girlfriends was revealed.

The fact that buck is in a reverse outfit to the one from his discussion with Chris after that reveal (navy blue bottoms and yellow ochre top v yellow ochre bottoms and navy blue top), suggests to me that the are trying to do a couple of things here - they are flipping the scene - so it is still about a multiple girlfriends reveal, just Eddies rather than Christophers. It is also possibly a way to contrast the fact they set up Buck as sitting in parallel to Shannon (from both a costuming and directorial perspective), now they are reversing it and setting them in juxtaposition with one another - playing on the concept of one being alive while the other is dead and contrasting the actual reality of Eddies life with Eddies rose tinted version of things - the version he's trying to recreate with a doppelgänger.

Onto Buck

The shirt that changes colour depending on which picture you look at - is it brown and cream or dark greyish brown and blue/grey?!!

My personal feeling is that it will look more brown and cream on camera, but that we might see a little bit of the blue pinstripe come through! This means we need to not only look at Buck in pinstripes, but also when he has worn brown!

So lets look at when we've seen Buck wear brown!

We have 2x05 - a scene where Maddie is ranting about Gloria calling her constantly. In this scene Buck is in a brown marl tee (you'll have to take my word for it - I ran out of pictures and this one was the least important!), personally I don't think it fits into the narrative as it is a tee rather than a shirt or jacket, so I'm not including it in my wider anaylsis!

We get Brown sports jacket Buck - in 3x04 when he delivers the results of the 118's assessment and discovers Lena filing his space - Buck gets jealous and a little mad. (had to include the still where Edie is checking out Bucks ass because it will never not be funny and now has the added layers to it`!)

one episode later and we get more brown in the divorced buddie era 1.0 supermarket arguement of 3x05.

Things go quiet on the brown front for Buck until 4x14 and the 'it would've been better if it had been me who got shot' scene - this is is a borderline brown - it sits in the yellow ochre spectrum, but is closer to brown than yellow! This, like the last tine he wore brown, comes in the aftermath of Buck doing something stupid (climbing the crane)

Then Buck doesn't wear any brown in season 5, so its on to season 6 where we have 6x04 and this russet brown (which is a reddish brown) which Buck wears when Connor pays him a visit regarding the sperm donation.

Then later in the same season - 6x18 - we have the most recent Buck in brown sighting - when he is talking to Connor once more about Kameron being at his loft. with the added bonus of this being veritcally ribbed making it look like stripes!

As you can see we only see Buck wear brown in very specific moments and they tend to come in pairs - we get bright russety browns in the build up to Buck doing something stupid followed by a darker more muddy brown in the aftermath (in both s2 and s6). Only the one from season 4 doesn't fit the pattern as it doesn't have a pair.

But while events in seasons 3 and six are essentially of Bucks making - he sets things in motion - season 4 is not - Buck is not the instigator, he is a bystander dropped into the middle of something, if anything the fact his brown has yellowish undertones plays into its having a reverse effect - that it is the same as the russet browns - setting something in motion, but its pair is the brighter yellow ochre shirt from the will reveal - which sits in opposition to the darker browns - its not something Buck needs or wants to try and fix - its more of an affirmation of Bucks belonging and not something he needs to fight for.

I've spoken before in various meta's about brown being a colour of stability support and protection. it is also a colour of wisdom and counsel - and I think all of these will come into play with this new shirt in some capacity, because to put Buck in brown at this point is definitely a choice with intention behind it.

Now onto Buck in vertical stripes!

We'll do the light ones first. It's still insane to me that the first time we ever see Buck in vertical stripes is the shooting scene in 4x13.

Then ten episodes later, in 5x13 we see the next white striped shirt and its when Taylor is moving into the loft. These are the only two we have in a white and black/grey colour way.

The next time we see light stripes is in 6x01 - only now they are cream and blue rather than white and black/grey - when Buck moves his armchair and decides he doesn't need a couch .

Followed by 6x08 when Buck is in Uncle Buck mode and looking after Jee and being given the run around by her - again cream and blue.

The last Buck in light shirts with stripes sighting is from 7x05 - when he meets with Tommy for coffee, this time its cream with black and red stripes.

Then we have a couple of outliers - this light blue jacket from 6x01

and this grey one from 6x09

Then we have the dark ones!

This one from 4x14 when Taylor appears back on his doorstep after the shooting and kissing him

This one from 5x09 - the most awkward 'I love you' scene in the history of mankind

6x04 when he tells Conor and Kameron that he will be their sperm donor

in 6x07 we get two - both when he is trying to donate sperm and not being successful in this endeavour

in 6x17 we see him in this shirt when Maddie comes by for help with getting her stuck engagement ring off

and finally we have Buck and Tommys first date - which ends in failure.

and now we have a brown and cream/blue one joining the mix!

I've written before about Bucks vertically striped shirts - in various episode metas, as well as a separate post which is linked on my pinned post under Buck, But I'm going to talk about them again because he just keeps on wearing them at really interesting moments!

Buck seems to wear them at moments when he is essentially ‘imprisoned’ by something mentally - at moments when he either steps forwards or backwards in his self development, or stays in stasis - and which of these it is, is determined by the colour of the shirt and the stripes. The lighter ones are connected to moving forward and ultimately escaping, while the darker ones are about Buck being trapped and moving in the wrong direction.

Starting with the white shirts - I know on the face of it, it isn't easy to see either of the white shirts with black pinstripes as Buck moving forward, but while the scenes they are worn in themselves may not seem to be freeing, the resulting actions - the will reveal for the first one and the second one reveals Bucks true thoughts on his and Taylors relationship and thus marks the beginning of the end, I mean obviously the kiss is the actual moment that marks the beginning of the end but this moment - when he is talking to Maddie, the audience is made aware that Buck really and truly isn't all in with Taylor and that he has imprisoned himself - his ability to recognise that - the fact he is able to verbalise that he is afraid of being left - that is the moment of growth and escape for him.

The unhappy moments, the moments when he is regressing or clinging are signified by the black shirts with white or silver pinstripes.

With Taylor the two scenes we get black shirts with pinstripes are connected to Buck being in trauma response mode - the first in the aftermath of the shooting - starting a relationship when he's in a super raw place - his best friend has been shot and he's looking after said best friends son and climbing cranes to try and protect the rest of his found family (also adding Maddie's impending PPD to this as well as the Daniel of it all although those are less central in this moment in time).

Then the second one comes in the 'I kinda love you for it' scene - and off the back of Buck feeling and fearing that he is being left - that Taylor is pulling away from him.

The three all connected to the sperm donation all play into the narrative that Buck hasn't thought the sperm donation through fully - that the universe is screaming at him and he's trapping himself in a prison - we do see some of that play out as the season progresses when he becomes embroiled in Conor and Kameron's marriage and pregnancy dramas when his part in it all should've been done.

The scene with the stuck ring is a scene very much about Maddie but Buck does drop himself in it on two fronts - the ring cutter and in letting Maddie know that Hen and Chim had an arguement over Chim proposing to Maddie.

Buck and Tommys first date - again a prison of Bucks own making - this shirt very much plays into the disastrous nature of the date - with Bucks 'I'm and Ally' and comment about going to 'find chicks'

Then we have the shirts that somewhere in the middle. - the blue one from 6x01 where we have a Buck doing some mental self torture trying to work out why he’s been passed over for the interim Captain job but finally figuring it out,

The three cream ones are all essentially the cure for the previous, darker stripes - they play into the idea that Buck is learning and growing - in a way he wasn't when it was just black and white shirts and stripes from seasons 4 and 5 when we got a white shirt followed soon after by a black shirt (4x13 - White - 4x14 - black) or vice versa (5x09 - black - 5x13 - white).

We have 6x01 with the blue then cream - Buck in a mental prison around what he wants in life, but choosing to embrace being on his own and seeing where life takes him by the end of the episode. 6x04 and 6x07's navy blues connected to the sperm donation arc followed by 6x08's cream and blue one of the very real children in his life - one who he gets to be an active part of watching grow up. 7x04's navy date shirt one followed by 7x05's cream, black and red shirt when Buck requests and is granted a do over with Tommy

So how is this brown and cream one going to fit in? Well that is the million $$$$ question isn't it! My feelings are that it's going to fit in with the pattern and have a reverse one to go with it. Now I have two theories - the first is that its actually the brown pair to the one from season 4 - that its going to connect into Buck's statement that it would've been better for Chris if he'd been the one hurt - and therefore connect into the will of it all, playing on the concept of Chris (and Buck) finding out about Kim - connecting Eddies outfit into the equation - and lead to Buck once again stepping up to look after or support Chris in some capacity (maybe we'll get a parallel of Chris running to Buck after finding out about Ana and have Chris running to Buck after finding out about Kim, who knows!).

The other option is that we'll only see the pair to this brown striped shirt later down the line - whether we see that before the end of the season or have to wait for the start of season 8 I do't know - it really depends on how they close out this season and the Buck and Eddie arcs.

I'd like to think the fact that its brown and therefore means stability, support, protection and wisdom, means that it will be connected to Buck discovering Eddies cheating and then stepping up to support him and Chris through the fall out (after perhaps taking a moment to consider things) and that it is tied into the season 4 parallels, but I guess we'll all have to wait and see!

Essentially all of Bucks striped and or brown tops have a pair and play on the idea of light and dark to varying degrees as well as the concept of being trapped or imprisoned by some form of traumatic event.

Hopefully this makes sense and that you've enjoyed reading this deep dive into Bucks stripes and Eddies wearing of black! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Tagged people below

@theladyyavilee @mistmarauder @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @bewilderedbuckley @spotsandsocks

@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @rogerzsteven @wanderingwomanwondering @oneawkwardcookie @leothil

@copyninjabuckley @shammers86 @crazyfangirlallert @missmagooglie @katyobsesses

@radiation-run @gayandbifiremenofmine @bi-moonlight @crazyaboutotps @princesschez75

@alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sherlocking-out-loud @satashiiwrites @lover-of-mine @yramesoruniverse

@extasiswings @favouritealias @pop-kam @b-dwolf @maygrcnt

@chaosandwolves

#kym costume meta #911 costume meta #specualtion meta #911 colour theory #911 bts costumes #911 abc #Buck vertical stripe theory #the parallels are paralleling #911 spoilers #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #911 spec

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elliesmainhoe · 5 months

Text

New Year's Day

Ellie Williams x Fem! Reader

summary: you and Ellie host your first ever New years Eve party, and as you both clean up the mess your friends had left in their wake.

Content Warnings: alcohol?, nothing really just fluff tbh.

(based on 'new years day' by Taylor Swift)

there's glitter on the floor after the party.

as your eyes flickered open, the smell of alcohol and cheap perfume immediately hitting you, immediately feeling regret of offering up yours an Ellie's shared apartment to host your friends annual New Year's Eve party.

"g'mornin' pretty girl" a rough voice rasped out, the feeling of your girlfriends hands brushing through your hair as you both slowly awoke from your slumber on the leather couch.

the sight of Ellie was amusing for sure. hair tussled and frizzy, your lipstick mark on her cheek and glitter speckled around her face from the cheesy sparkly 2024 glasses you had forced her into wearing.

"morning Ells."

girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby.

dinas arms wrapped around you in a goodbye, promising you to send the pictures of you and Ellie kissing under the fireworks that you watched on your balcony and thanked you for the cheap champagne and food.

you glanced over your shoulder to see Ellie talking to Jesse, who looked just as... worn out. soon her eyes focused back on you as the two approached you and Dina. Jesse's hand reaching for dinas, dinas free hand interlocking with Jesse's, her occupied one clutching her heels that she had given up on wearing a long time ago.

after bidding each other farewell Dina and Jessie left your apartment, Dina walking barefoot towards the elevator. a smile graced your lips, you'd been there too. who hasn't? dancing too much where heeld feet turn blistered and sore.

candle wax and polaroids on the hard floor, you and me from the night before, but

after the door closed and the last person left your messy apartment, Ellie's arms snaked around your waist, synchronised sighs leaving both of you as you looked around the post-party mess.

melted candles that used to be standing proud in cake now discarded on kitchen counter tops. an old Polaroid camera laying on the couch, pictures it produced scattered around like a treasure house.

there was one of the cake

the champagne

you and Ellie dancing

you sitting on Ellie's lap, head resting on her shoulder

your lips touching in a tender kiss while fireworks explode behind you.

don't read the last page, but I can stay when you're lost and I'm scared.

new year means new challenges and as Ellie's lips press softly against your temple, swaying side to side in eachother's embrace, moving to the sound of Ellie's humming a song you can't quite remember the name of, you know it'll be alright.

"I love you" you whisper softly.

"I love you too" comes the reply.

and your turning away, I want your midnights

you remember the fun from last night, the cheers of triumph after winning a stupid party game, the clinks of champagne flutes and the sensation of the bass of the music that shook the floor.

but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

but now here you both are, kneeling on the hardwood floors as you pick up empty bottles of beer and discarded glasses of half drunken wine glasses and flutes of bubbly.

the smile on your face is beaming despite the thudding headache your hangover had so kindly given you. the warmth in your chest still blossoming. the boring clean up feeling just as special as the night of fun before.

you glance up as Ellie silently puts various items in a large trash bag, her eyes meeting yours. and just from the loving glint in them you knew so well, you could tell those feelings were reciprocated.

you squeeze my hand three times at the back of the taxi, I can tell that it's going to be a long road.

you think back to yesterday, your group of friends piling in the back of a taxi after you had partook in pre drinks at your all time favourite bar. and now you were all on the way back to the apartment you had so enthusiastically decorated with gold '2024 ballons' and gold tinsel.

Ellie's hand was wrapped in yours, her thumb brushing over your knuckles as she squeezed three times, a gesture you knew too well.

three squeezes, three words.

love.

you.

you squeezed back four times.

love.

you.

too.

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe or if you strike out and you're crawling home

2024 will be the fourth year you and Ellie have been together, four years. the road was bumpy, you both had the highest highs followed by the lowest of lows, but there was one thing that stayed constant. the warmth you felt when you looked at her, and the feeling of you heart growing more and more every word she spoke of endearment.

and Ellie felt it too, which was why a diamond encrusted ring was hidden in the back of the closet. this would be the year she popped the question.

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you. Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you. Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you

New year's day came and gone, polaroids now hung on the wall by the front door, a ring now adorning your finger. Dina was giggling through the phone as you jokingly scolded her for not telling you that Ellie was going to propose, that the girls spa day and manicure was all a ploy for good engagement pictures.

Ellie sat behind you on the couch after grabbing you both drinks from the kitchenette, pressing a kiss to your forehead and waving to Dina who waved back.

"oh God you should have seen it, Ellie, Joel, Jesse and me all huddled into the poor jewelers shop downtown- I'm honestly surprised we weren't kicked out." she laughed. "but I think it paid off- I mean, you're never going to be able to shake Ellie off now, she's going to hold onto you forever, I pity you." she joked which was swiftly replied by Ellie in a middle finger.

Please don't ever become a stranger, whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Ellie's face was flushed and red, her soft hair falling in front of her face covering up the tears that stained her rosy freckled cheeks, your hands interlocked, both ring fingers dressed in golden rings.

"I now pronounce you wife and wife. you may kiss the bride."

the world seemed to slow, the congregation of guests vanishing as you both leaned in, lips meeting as the sound of muffled cheers hit your ears. you could feel the way ellies lips twisted into a smile as you kissed.

as soon as you pulled apart you heard the joyous laughter resonating from her chest as she offered you her hand, an offer you gladly took.

your footsteps land in sync as you walk back down the aisle.

3 squeezes, 3 words.

love.

you.

4 squeezes, 4 words.

love.

you.

too.

•••••••••••••••••••

A/N: I had to describe holding hands one too many times. anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

NOT PROOFREAD

#the last of us #ellie williams #lesbian #wlw #ellie williams fic #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams fluff #happy new year #tlou 2 #ellie tlou

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beabidobi · 3 months

Text

𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐈𝐭

P2 - “tell me i’ve got it wrong somehow.”

P1 - “if it’s all in my head, tell me now.”

pairing: f!reader x miguel o’hara

content warnings: angst, alcohol use, drunk miguel, arguing, no happy ending, swearing

word count: 418

Miguel stumbled into the house at 2:15AM, knocking over a photo frame on the side as he shakes of his shoes. He grimaces as he hears your footsteps coming down the hallway and you appear, holding a slipper in your hand as though a weapon.

“Lo siento, cariño. ‘S just me.” His attempts as sounding sober were obviously unsuccessful by the look on your face. Your hair down and Miguel’s shirt hanging loosely from your smaller frame.

“It’s two in the morning Miguel.” You say as he drops his keys onto the kitchen table.

“Yeah, well I went to the bar with some other spiders to celebrate. It’s not a big deal I’m home now.” Miguel replies, as if he’s the one with the right to be irritated. “I’ll make it up to you.”

A while ago, those words would’ve comforted you but now you knew they were just empty promises. And most times, you’d let it go. “When have you ever?”

Miguel didn’t expect you to say anything, as you never had before so it catches him by surprise which he quickly covers up. “I have things more important in my life then your fucking insecurities.” He retorts, popping open a can of beer from the fridge.

“My insecurities? Are you kidding me? You haven’t been home all week and you don’t answer my calls nor my texts. I’m not your fucking side piece you can pick up when you feel like it!” You snap, earning an eye roll from Miguel. You grab the can from his hand and loudly place it on the counter. “Will you please just listen to me?”

“What, so you can carry on shouting down my ear?” He asks and picks his can back up. “I’m going to bed.”

You watch as he walks away, drunkenly walking against the wall to the bedroom. You run a hand through your hair, tugging at it angrily before grabbing the dust pan and brush to collect the broken pieces of glass on the floor from the photo Miguel had knocked off while holding back tears. You scoop them all up, drop them into the trash and kneel back down to retrieve the photo on the floor. The photo is one you took in Paris, a trip Miguel planned for you both. A blissful, almost unrecognisable time when you were both happy and content with each other. The tears finally fall as you sob on the hardwood floor while Miguel’s fast asleep in the other room.

P3 - “i know my love should be celebrated.”

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gadriezmannsgirl · 6 months

Text

Nine days a little too late💀 but here's Pedri's birthday fic!🎉 also not me inspiring this fic with the quesillo and torta de auyama I helped my mom do last week🤭 also I'm sorry if this is a bit shitty I need to get back into writing ASAP😭😭 Please let me know your thoughts on this one😭😌

Warnings: Spanish swearing, lots of mentions of sweets (?), Pepi is whipped for reader, I didn't revise this so bare with me😭 let me know if there's any grammar mistake pls also it's a bit shitty, sorry😭😭😭

A New Diet - P.G8

Summary: Your love for sweets eventually brings you to the guy of your dreams

You didn't remembered when you started loving sweets so much, maybe you had it in you since you were little or maybe it was when you first got your period, only a big amount of chocolate could calm down your anxiety; maybe it was after watching bake-off TV shows, you didn't knew when but you did knew that you loved sweets and you also loved making them.

You tried your grandma's recipes, your aunt's, your mom's, the ones you find in internet, the ones you find in magazines and eventually you started adding your own "sparkle" into them, mixing random ingredients, taking off some while adding other ones.

It was that much that your parents got you into a course on baking and pastry-making. You loved it and got a certificate for it, one you felt truly proud of and even marked it to put it on your small living room of your new house.

You had recently moved to Barcelona to finish your degree in veterinary medicine and also to achieve your baking dream, you only had some months in your new house but you loved it, even through the rough patches of not knowing anyone in here.

Well... you did met some people and weren't so lonely now and those people were your mates from Uni and your neighbours which were mostly older people but two lovely and funny brothers who you often talk to when the three of you get out of your houses at the same time.

"¡Bienvenida al vecindario!" (welcome to the neighborhood) They had said once you opened your door making you smile

"Soy Fernando, puedes llamarme Fer and he's my brother Pedro but you can call him Pedri" (I'm Fernando but you can call me Fer) The guy next to him smiled and waved at you lightly

"Hola y muchas gracias. I'm Y/N" You replied softly with a smile on

"Un placer, Y/N. We brought this little gift as a welcome. Hope you like it" (It's a pleasure) Pedri extended a small food container with a smile on

"Thanks! What it is?"

"They're croquetas. Family recipe" Fer explained "I made them and I hope you like them"

"Well, they smell incredible so..." Both brothers laughed lightly and you joined them "I'm pretty sure I'll love them"

"Let us know!" You nodded with a smile

"Pues nada, bienvenida, somos tus vecinos, aquella casa de la esquina es la nuestra y nada... Si necesitas algo, estaremos encantados en ayudarte" (And well, welcome; we're your neighbours, the house at the corner is ours and yeah... If you need something, we'll be happy to help you) Pedri said. He's so pretty, you thought.

You smiled nodding "Muchas gracias e igualmente. Si necesitan algo y está a mi alcance pues estaré encantada en ayudarles" (Thank you so much and likewise. If you need something and it's within my reach then I'll be happy to help)

"Thanks" Fer smiled and they started walking away

"Let us know if you like the croquettes!" Pedri yelled and you laughed softly

You remembered your first meeting when you saw both brothers walk towards their house joking around as you were taking out the trash and suddenly realized that was already four months ago.

They waved at you and you waved back with a smile on your face.

You returned inside your house and settled everything up to do your quesillo, you had your period and everything you wanted was something sweet to ease your anxiety and pain.

Turning up your music, you blasted Rosalía, Karol G and some Taylor Swift while you happily made your quesillo, forgetting about everything. However being too into your own world, you didn't realized you did for more people than you were supposed to do.

"Oh fuck" You cursed lightly "What do I do now?" You asked yourself.

As much as you loved sweets, this was a big portion since you basically duplicated the recipe that originally is for 6-7 people, you didn't wanted for it to go to waste.

Your parents weren't in Barcelona and neither was your brother to give them some quesillo. You could give some to your friends and still a big portion will be left.

You closed your eyes groaning and your mind went to the González brothers.

Would they even like it? Would they accept it? You groaned again and your body acted before you could even think straight.

You went around and looked for a food container to give them some quesillo to them when you suddenly saw their food container. The one you forgot to give back because of your Uni and work.

Now you, at least, had a good excuse to give them the sweet.

Preparing yourself mentally you walked over to their house and knocked on their door only for a few minutes later, Pedri to open the door with a pretty smile on his face.

"Y/N! How are you?" You nodded a bit nervous. You were truly hoping for Fernando, to open the door like he always does.

"I'm good, what about you?" He nods

"I'm great! Tell me, what can I do for you?"

"I-mm... I'm actually here because I did this quesillo and I had some problems calculating the ingredients, turns out I did more than usual and I don't want it to go to waste so I was just wondering if you guys would like some?"

Pedri spent a few seconds in silence and those were the worst seconds for you.

"Sure, yes!"

"Perfect!" You pull the food container towards him "And also, sorry I didn't give it back right away. I'm pretty busy with my finals and with work too" He laughs softly grabbing it

"No te preocupes" (No worries) He winked and you felt like instantly dying right there.

"I hope you guys like it. Let me know how is it!"

"Will do! Thank you so much!" Pedri smiled and you waved walking away, he got inside his house and exhaled looking at the sweet in his hands.

It smells divine. He thought softly.

"Was it Y/N?" Fer yelled from the living room

"Yes!"

"Did you ask her out?"

"No"

"And what did you do then?" Fer asked impressed

"She came by to give us a quesillo"

"Joder, increíble" (Fuck, amazing) Fer inmediately said standing up and taking then food container out of Pedri's hands "All for me" He sang quietly

Pedri lamented not being able to eat it, as soon as he saw the quesillo his mouth watered "Puta madre" Pedri cursed as Fer laughed watching his younger brother leave the room.

One month and half later, Pedri was tired of watching the amount of sweets in his refrigerator and not being able to eat a single piece of them. Thanks to Fernando, you have been doing random pastries, cakes, muffins for you and for them, it made you happy knowing people liked your baking and felt on Cloud 9 once Fer exclaimed you could have your own succeful bakery.

Pedri didn't know how much he has resisted to it but he's sure it won't last long and even more when you were once again stood in front of the González brothers house, with a pumpkin cake in your hands.

"I swear this wasn't suppossed to happen. My aunt asked my help for my cousin's birthday but I overdid the recipe once again and I have this small pumpkin cake-"

"I'm pretty sure it's delicious, thank you Y/N" He smiled grabbing the cake from your hands. Pedri shakily opened his mouth to speak "So... How's-" Your phone ringed

"Shoot. I'm sorry I need to leave, I had these muffins on the oven but let me know if you like them!"

"Do you need help?"

"I-uh... I kinda do but no worries I can do it on my own! You might be busy as well and I don't want to interrupt anything"

"Nonsense" Pedri said "Gimme just a quick second to put this in the kitchen and I'll be right back"

True to his word, Pedri was back to you in mere seconds. You both walked to your house

"Make yourself at home" You had said smiling. "Are you a good kitchen assistant?"

"Bueno, que se me ha pasado decirte que soy un poco lento pero que soy un asistente de cocina decente" (Well, I kinda forgot to tell you I'm a bit slow but I'm a decent cooking assistant) You laughed softly at his words

"That's okay. Esos son los mejores" (Those are the best) You replied "I used to be like that and even worse" You giggled softly

"Practice makes a master" You nod agreeing with him "So... What's my job?" You smile starting to explain him what you need help with.

°°° °°°

"I hope your aunt is paying you for this" You laugh at Pedri's words before you looked over at him and found him with his face (and some of his hair) dirty with flour, you couldn't help but laugh harder. "¿Qué?" (What?) He asks with a small smile

"You have some flour in your face" You clean your hands with a towel ", you look funny" you admit softly

"Ah but that's normal. You do as well" You share a laugh

"You want something to drink? I'm about to make me some coffee"

"No bebo café" (I don't drink coffee)

"Really?" You asked impressed "Maybe some tea?" Pedri shook his head "Juice? Water?"

"Those two can do" You smile nodding starting to work on your coffee and on his drink.

"I also have some cheesecake from Monday. You want a bit?"

Pedri's body froze, he hasn't broke his diet, it takes a lot of willpower for him to quietly leave the room his brother's eating in to your baking.

And he also didn't wanted to make you feel bad for saying no.

"I'm not that hungry actually" He hated the fact, his heart hurt him when he saw how your face fell a bit. And without knowing, yours did too a little bit "I'm sorry, I-"

"No worries, that's okay!" You said smiling softly

"No, you know what? I'll accept it"

"If you don't want it, it's okay" You giggled softly to not make him feel pressured

"I want to" He smiled at you "Now... I'm waiting for my slice of cheesecake"

This time, both of your hearts beat strongly at the sight of each others smile.

°°° °°°

"Joder, you're whipped" Fer said shaking his head

"I'm not!"

"You fell so easily into it!"

"I don't think she realized it but she gave me this pout and her eyes dropped, I couldn't watch her like that!"

"Si, hermano. You're whipped"

"Puta madre" Pedri cursed "Now I have to do double session" He said getting ready for his morning training

"Don't overwork yourself, Pedrito"

"Don't call me that!"

"Ask her out already!" Fer laughed watching his brother get out of their house

"¡Cállate" (Shut up!)

Pedri did wanted to ask you out but he was afraid of your answer, he just didn't knew if you liked him in that way and he didn't wanted to make things awkward between you two.

But as if it was something of destiny you were going out of your house with a backpack. You were going to Uni.

Pedri quickly got into his car and started it, to stop in front of your house. "Need a ride, señorita?" (Miss)

"Yes, please. I'm way too late" You smiled and he laughed nodding his head for you to get inside. "Buenos dias" (Good morning) You said leaning forward to hug him "¿Qué tal todo?" (How's everything?) He nods smiling

"¿Tu que tal? ¿Acaso se te han pegado las sábanas el día de hoy?" (How about you? Didn't wanted to get out of the bed?) He joked and you lightly groaned

"I was up all night studying for this exam, it's worth about the 35% of the whole grade and I'm freaking nervous" You admited ", plus, I kinda forgot to set up my alarm so that's the reason I'm looking like a mad woman and I didn't had time to revise my notes" You huff "But let's say I'm good"

"Don't stress so much about it, I know you'll do fine and you'll smash this exam" Pedri reasured you with a smile

"You have a lot of faith in me"

"Que eres muy inteligente, guapa. A veces te subestimas demasiado" (You're very smart, beautiful. Sometimes you underestimate yourself so much)

"I just get really nervous, I've never failed any of my classes and I have this scholarship so I have to be the best of the best"

"And you are. Stop stressing so much, you'll get wrinkles" You blush and laugh shaking your head

The rest of the drive was spent with you talking of random things and listening to the whole "Un Verano Sin Ti" album by Bad Bunny

"Thanks for the ride, Pedrito. You just saved my life" You both hugged each other over the console

"Anytime, Y/N" He smiled watching you pick your things and leave his car. Before you got inside the building, three car honks stopped you. As you turned around you saw Pedri still there and looking at you

You went back to him "What's up?" You said leaning into the drivers window

"Are you free this weekend?"

You nod lightly "I am... why?"

"Wanna go out with me?" You were shocked hearing those words came out of his mouth but at the same time, you were so happy

"Sure, I'd love that" You smiled and he smiled back

"Perfect, I'll text you so we can talk about it" You nod once more

"Good, nos vemos Pepi" (See you)

"Nos vemos, guapa" (See you, beautiful) You blushed once again and separated yourself from his car, turning around you went inside the building

You were walking to your exam when you felt your phone vibrate and saw a text from Pedri

Pedro G: Por cierto, estás muy mona cuando te sonrojas (By the way, you're pretty cute when you blush)

You smile and giggle shaking your head at your phone, replying with a small Sush🙈

And with that you entered with confidence into the classroom

°°° °°°

Two months later

"Estás muy guapa el día de hoy" (You're looking gorgeous today) Your now, boyfriend of one month said looking at you with a smile

"You're exaggerating. I'm covered in eggs and onions"

"Still very guapa" He gave you a small kiss to your lips before entering inside your house "Need help with something?"

"I've got it covered, lindo. Thanks tho" You smiled washing your hands before getting into what you were doing "What are we watching today?"

"Creed?" You think of it for a few seconds and then nod lightly

"Only because we saw Me Before You last week" He laughs softly

"What are you doing?" His arms wrapped themselves around your waist and Pedri brought you into him

"I'm cooking for my brother's date tomorrow night"

"You sure you don't need help?" He kissed your cheek and you smiled resting against him

"I'm almost done, give me just a few minutes and then I'm yours"

"Can I at least do the popcorns?" You smile nodding

"Top left shelf"

A few minutes passed and you finished what you were doing. You wrapped the food and pulled it in a food container into the refrigerator as Pedri was munching on some popcorn

"You will not leave for the movie"

"There are a lot" He brushed off your comment while putting some in front of your mouth

"They're good, baby" Pedri nodded

"I know, I'm the best"

"Oh shut up, come on"

"Amor, do you like football?" He asked out of nowhere as you got the movie ready

"I'm not much into it, to be honest. Why?"

"Would you like to come with me and Fer to a match?"

"Will you teach me every single thing of football so I don't look like a foreign?" He laughs nodding

"Of course" You smiled at each other

"Then sounds good" You nod happy "What are you doing tomorrow, amor?" You ask him

"Nothing important, why?"

"Can you accompany me tomorrow to get some copies I need to get done for Uni?"

"Sure. What time, amor?"

"Maybe around 2pm?"

"I'll be here" Pedri nodded "Shall we start?" You don't say anything but click on the start bottom before you cuddled up to him

°°° °°°

"Hey Fer"

"Y/N!" He said excited hugging you "How are you? My brother has kidnapped you" You blush lightly

"I'm doing well, dear. How about you?"

"Good, good!" He smiled "How can I help you?"

"Is Pedri here? He's supposed to accompany me to do something right now" He shakes his head

"He's in training right now"

"He's training?" Fer nods "For what?"

"This weekend's match"

"What match?"

"Football match?" He asked back confused

"He's playing?" He nods

"He's a football player, Y/N/N" You were confused

"Right, yes, of course!" You said "Well, thanks Fer and sorry the bother!" You jogged back to your house

You instantly went to your phone and searched for Pedri González, to your surprise a photo of your boyfriend came up along with the name of FC Barcelona. Your boyfriend is a FC Barcelona player.

Copies can wait, you decided, Pedri had somethings to explain. And that he did, as soon as he got to your house. You let him know that the door was unlocked and that you'll be waiting for him.

"Amor, I'm sorry, I got caught up on-"

"Pedro "Pedri" González López, is a Spanish professional footballer who plays as a midfielder for La Liga FC Barcelona and the Spain NT" You read from your phone as soon as you see him coming to the living room "And then there's a picture of a guy who looks just like you" You look at him serious "Why didn't you told me that?"

" I can explain that to you"

"Please do"

Pedri sighed "I didn't tell you because I wanted you to like me for me, for Pedri not because of Pedri the football player from Club Barcelona" He sighs "It's not often when I don't have people trying to get my attention just because of fame or money. I'm just a simple guy living his dream and I want for everyone to treat me like that. I liked you from the moment I knew you and when I saw you didn't even recognized me for being Pedri the football player and cared for just Pedri, I wanted to keep that going and protect you from that world. You're my safe space"

"Pedri, I don't really care if you're famous or not and you know that"

"I know and I was eventually going to tell you this weekend after you see me playing" He winces now thinking of his idea "It might not be my best idea but I truly wanted to tell you because I like to think that we can have a long road together ahead of us"

"You're trying to get your way out of this with sweet words" He laughs softly

"I don't. That's what I truly think" you stayed silent for a few minutes

"You have some other secret I should know about?"

"No" He said shaking his head. You smiled and went to him kissing his lips

"Don't lie or hide things from me again, please. I think the same way but I want us to be honest with each other" Pedri nods

"Will do" Pedri smiles leaning down to kiss your lips

"Would you teach me some football right now?" Pedri nods smiling wide

"Let's go, bonita"

"But before that... Wanna have some chocolate muffins?"

Pedri secretly winced before nodding "Not one, not two... give me three of those"

He couldn't break his diet but for you he would.

°°° °°°

"So..." You begin "How do I look?" You turn around with your boyfriend's name on your back

"Gorgeous" That's what he said smiling "The eight looks really good on you" You smile turning to face him with blush covering your cheeks "In fact, everything looks good on you"

"Well, wish I could say the same" He opens his mouth in disbelief.

"I can't believe it" You laugh kissing his cheeks

"Vamos, amor. You are needed" You grab his hand and led him through the door "Hopefully you win tonight 'cus I made a winning cake for you" He laughs

"We will win" Pedri says "But we also know that winning or not, I will eat it" You smile nodding "Let's go to Montjuic!"

You both got into the car and Pedri drove off, it's your first time in a stadium, so you were pretty nervous.

"Call me or Fer. He told me he's already here" You nod taking in Pedri's words. "If you need anything let him know"

"I will" You said smiling "Go ahead and score some goals"

"They'll be for you" You blush and push him lightly for him to start walking

"Go. I'll be fine" with doubts Pedri started walking away only for him to walk back to you and kiss you softly before out of nowhere, leaving you in the hall.

You followed his intructions and soon you were in the yards along with the fans. Your eyes scanned the crowd and quickly divised Fer.

"Hey" You say getting closer to him

"Hey! Happy to see you here!"

"Happy to be here!" You hug

"You know what this match means?"

"Pedri told me something among the lines of El Clásico?" Fer nods

"Our worst rival RMA" You nod lightly

"Yeah, he told me those small things as well"

"Did he told you a fight could break out?" Your eyes widen and you cough

"No! Will he be-?"

"He'll be fine as long as the problem isn't with him. A small fact? It never is"

The tension could be felt in the air, you didn't have any idea what could happen. But you did knew the ones with the blue and red shirt were the ones your boyfriend played for and you were going to yell at everything they do.

Match started and it was already rough some players fouling you guys and the ref said nothing. You were complaining the whole 1st time about that while Fer laughed and maybe even recorded you.

You were stressing out, it was minute 88, four fights already displayed in the spam of the 2nd time and no score. Until he did it. De Jong stole the ball from one of the oponents, you still don't know who it was; when De Jong passed it to Gundo and Gundo to Ferran to start dribbling around players and once he was starting to get close to the net, he shot it to Pedri who scored.

He did his natural signature + a wink to your direction

"That was to me" Fer said

"Sure it was" You laughed and joked around with Fer until the game ended

You receive Pedri by his car with a piece of cake, he hissed when he saw the chocolate and it didn't helped that Ferran made fun of him.

"As I have just the recovery session, you have to take a double one to forget about the calories that cake has, good luck on that, Pepi"

"You're just jealous you don't have a girlfriend who bakes for you" Pedri said hitting the back of Ferran's head while the shark laughed "See you, tiburón"

"See you, Pepi" Ferran waved at you lightly as you waved back with a small smile on your face

"Hola guapa" Pedri said wrapping his arms around your shoulders to bring you close to him. You smile taking in the scent of his soap and shampoo

"Hola guapo" You kissed his cheek before leaning up to kiss his lips "Congrats on the win, you did great"

"I felt motivated tonight" He winks at you and you laugh, blushing "However, I'm starving and this cake looks so good to me right now"

"Ah ah ah!" You push the cake back when he tried to reach it "I found out a little something and I just confirmed it"

"What did you find out?"

"You guys have a very strict diet as I could see" Pedri's heart stopped working for a while "And your friend isn't the most quiet when it comes to talk so... Have you really ate all of the sweets I have made for you this past months?"

Pedri got quiet for a while and before he opened his mouth you beat him to it "Honestly, Pedro"

"I didn't..." He said guilty and he watched how your face fell lightly "But I eventually did that time when I was at yours! And I didn't say any kind of lies when I said that they were the best ones!" You sighed softly

"But you could have told me that before!" You said "Now, I feel guilty"

"Why?"

"I was there making and bringing you guys the most sweet stuffs I could ever made for you to try and you had to suffer seeing your brother eat them without a single regret!" Pedri felt his heart grow warm "If you could have told me I have this strict diet, I could have done something different for you because everything I did was mostly for you, Pepi" You admit and he smiles before kissing you softly

"Now you know, amor. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, you were just really excited for me trying your baking out and I didn't wanted to make you feel bad by saying no"

"You have to do double sessions, I still feel bad" He sent you an apologetic smile as you groaned lightly "That's why this cake is for both of us now" You said

"Hey, it was mine!"

"It was" You agree "That was before I learned about your diet. So I made this one" You said "Half it's especially made for you and the other one is for me, like I usually do"

"Did you seriously just made me a piece of healthy cake for myself?" You nod

"And be prepared because now that I'll try more fitness stuff, you'll be the first one to try them out"

"I can't wait for it" He smiled before grabbing a piece of cake with his fingers and eating it, he groaned in delight "So far, try to make the pumpkin cake for me so I can eat it. That was the best one" He munched the cake once again

"Stop eating it"

"This is so delicious, I just can't!" He shook his head "In fact" He pulled out his car keys out and handed them to you "You drive tonight while I eat this masterpiece my girlfriend made for me, thank you"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

#gadriezmannsgirl is writing #fc barcelona #pedri #pedri gonzalez #pedri gonzalez x reader #pedri imagine #pedri x reader #pedri x y/n #pedri icons #pedri gonzalez blurb #pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri gonzalez icons #pedri gonzalez x you

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vigilante-3073 · 3 months

Text

Love Story

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: Reader gets Dean a very special birthday present.

TW: FLUFF, pre-established relationship, Dean's secret obsession with Taylor Swift, concerts, extravagant gestures.

Dean's 43th birthday had been celebrated in the bunker with friends and family. Everyone had either gone home or made their way into one of the empty rooms to spend the night after the many beers and shots that were shared.

The table was covered in scattered empty pizza boxes and pie tins. Dean moved around the room, stuffing the trash into a garbage bag.

"You know, you don't have clean up after your own party," Y/N said, making her way over to him.

"Someone's gotta," Dean said, "Might as well get it out of the way before morning," He shrugged, dropping another paper plate into the bag.

"Can you take a break? I have something for you," Y/N said, pulling a white envelope from the back pocket of her jeans.

"You didn't have to get me anything, sweetheart," Dean sighed, setting down the garage bag and stepping over to her.

"You deserve it," Y/N said, holding out the envelope.

Dean took it from her hands, carefully tearing the it open and peering inside. He reached into the envelope and pulled out two shimmering tickets.

He stared down at them, thumb tracing over the surface carefully as Y/N watched him. She shifted on her feet as she tried to gauge his reaction.

"Are these real?" He asked softly, green eyes meeting with her's.

"Yeah," Y/N replied with a nervous smile.

He stepped forward, pulling her into his arms quickly. Dean held her tightly as a wide smile spread across his face, "This is amazing," He laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, "Are you happy?" Y/N asked.

He pulled away, "Happy? Are you kidding? We're going to the Eras Tour! I'm over the freakin' moon!" Dean said.

Y/N laughed, "I left your VIP package on your bed. Go check it out while I finish up here," She said, tilting her head towards the messy table.

"Baby, you are- you are awesome," Dean said, cupping her cheeks and pressing his lips to her's in a quick kiss.

"I love you so damn much, sweetheart. We're going to see Taylor Swift! Hell yeah!" Dean grinned, rushing off down the hallway.

...

Dean had been eagerly anticipating the concert since his birthday. The usual silence in the bunker had quickly been replaced by the nearly continuous sound of Taylor Swift's discography. He was determined to know all the words to every song before their concert.

Dean had even insisted on dressing up and making friendship bracelets to share with other concert-goers. His costume was relatively simple, a plain white shirt with the word 'karma' written across the chest in red sparkly letters. The color matched perfectly with Y/N's dress and boots.

Dean and Y/N packed their bags before they made the trip down to Nashville, blasting Taylor Swift's music and singing along the whole way.

They checked into their hotel room on the day of the concert. Feeling jittery and excited as they ate an early dinner of takeout burgers before starting to get ready. Dean had put on his shirt before laying down in bed to watch television while Y/N finished up her hair and makeup in the bathroom.

He flipped through the channels, looking over as Y/N stepped out of the bathroom. Her hair and makeup were done, skin sparkling under the dim motel lights. He tossed the remote aside, focusing solely on his beautiful girlfriend.

Dean whistled, "You look phenomenal, baby," He said, eyes running over her body. The bright red sparkly dress hugged her curves perfectly and the boots of the same color glittered with small gems.

"Thank you," She smiled, spinning in a circle to show off the outfit in its entirety.

"Gorgeous," He grinned, standing up from the bed and making his way over.

Dean unbuttoned his shirt, holding open the flannel to display his t-shirt.

Her smile widened, arms wrapping around him as she leaned into his body, "Karma is my boyfriend," She sighed happily.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to her's in a slow and passionate kiss. Dean's hands found her hips, pulling her body closer before reluctantly breaking off the kiss.

"I love you so damn much," He said.

"I know," Y/N smiled.

...

The stadium was dark, the music was loud and the lights were flashing as people screamed out the words to every song. Everyone was dressed to the nines in bright colors and clever costumes, covered in glitter and gems that shimmered under the lights.

The smile hadn't left Dean's face since the first song and he couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

He had traded enough friendship bracelets to have both of his forearms lined with colorful beads. Dean would keep a few for himself, but the rest were for his girl and maybe one for Cas.

His arm was wrapped securely around Y/N's waist as they belted out the lyrics to Love Story. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and she looked up at him with a smile.

Dean leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to her lips before pulling away. His hand slipped into the front pocket of his jeans, grasping the velvet ring box. Dean pulled it out, flipping the lid open and sliding his arm from around her waist as he turned to face her. Dean got down on one knee between the rows of chairs, holding up the ring. People around him screamed, pulling out their phones to record the moment.

Y/N looked over, eyes widening before her hands flew to her mouth, "Will you marry me, baby?" He asked loudly. Her eyes glossed over with tears as she nodded hastily.

Dean stood up, allowing her to pull him into his arms as happy tears rolled down her cheeks. She pulled away slightly, pressing her lips to his in a passionate kiss.

Dean pulled away, smiling down at her before plucking the ring from the box and sliding it onto her finger. He pulled her into his arms again, holding her tightly as the song came to an end.

"I love you so much, baby," He said.

"I love you too," She replied, pulling him closer.

...

The women sitting in the row behind them had asked for Y/N's cellphone number and sent their videos of Dean's proposal to her. She was overjoyed to have videos to remember such an important moment and watched the recordings before they even made it out of the stadium.

It was strange watching everyone dissipate from the stadium, making the streets brighter with their costumes while leaving jewels and glitter everywhere they went.

Dean and Y/N held hands as they walked down the street towards their motel room after the concert had concluded. The night had been an absolute dream. It was definitely an experience that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

Dean couldn't think of a time when he had been happier.

No hunting. No danger.

Just him and his girlfriend.

Correction, him and his fiancée.

Y/N video called Sam as they walked down the sidewalk, the line rang twice before he picked up.

"Hey, how was it?" Sam asked, sitting up in his bed.

"Amazing, best concert of my entire life," Dean said.

"Yes! She was fantastic and just absolutely amazing. Best night ever! Taylor Swift is just-" "Iconic," Dean stated, "Yes, iconic," Y/N agreed.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her temple as they walked, "We got some other news, Sammy," Dean said, smiling down at his fiancée.

"Is your news about how much you spent on concert merchandise? Because I don't want to know if it is," Sam said.

"We're engaged!" Y/N said, holding up her left hand for him to see.

"Are you serious? Is this real?" Sam asked, a wide smile spreading across his face.

"It's real. We're gettin' hitched," Dean said proudly.

"Congratulations, guys. This is amazing! Wait, when did you do it? Did you propose during the concert?" Sam asked.

"During the song Love Story like an awesome fiancé," Dean grinned.

"Some women behind us recorded it and sent me their videos. I'll show you when we get home," Y/N said.

"Alright, have a good night you guys. Get home safe and congratulations again," Sam said.

"Thank you, Sam," Y/N said.

"Have a good night, Sammy," Dean called.

Y/N ended the call, tucking her cellphone into her pocket. She squeezed Dean's hand and he looked over at her to find her staring up at him with a wide smile.

"What?" He asked, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.

"Nothing, just that I only bought this dress so you could take it off," Y/N said casually.

Dean's eyebrows rose, "You flirting with me while referencing Taylor Swift is probably the hottest thing I've ever heard," Dean stated.

"Good," She grinned.

#dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester #sam and dean #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x female reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader

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that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you · 1 month

Note

I don't understand, what's going on with Taylor and Matt trash being a couple? Could you explain to me?

nothing is really going on at the moment tbh, cuz they broke up a pretty long while ago, but the issue is the album (if that's what you're referring to) and taylor swift herself.

[will add sources and more stuff when I find the links and if I realise I missed something out, cuz this is a general thing based off of memory]

Context: dating history

Basically she and matty had been friends for a few years (there are rumors of them hooking up ig in 1989 era maybe, but I don't really care enough to believe shit like that). Apparently he had also been pining for her (according to stuff he said in interviews and tweets) for years, but again, you can still chalk it up to rumors if you wanna.

The thing is that post her breakup with joe alwyn, she started dating him (in like april I think) [there had been dating rumors of them since 2014 tho, and again in March 2023] and the fandom kinda got divided.

Here is the link to their entire timeline

Context: what matty healy did

Matty healy (you prolly know this) is basically racist, sexist, antisemitic, homophobic and God knows what else I have missed out or not been aware of. He did shit like doing the nazi gesture on stage, mocking asian accents, tastelessly making fun of ice spice on her race and bodyshaming her, laughing and basically confirming that he watches violent rape porn of black women on a site that is known to be highly problematic and force their actors (gender neutral) to do things they dont consent to (there was also an actress who was assaulted or something but im not informed on it). Even when he was called out on stuff like this, he accused people (who were poc, btw) of overreacting.

Context: taylor and activism

Taylor had also, in the past (lover era, and miss Americana the doc) had talked about how she had been too quiet about political issues and politics itself for too long, that she understands her influence and power in society, and that she "needs to be on the right side of history" and even specifics such as that she thinks it's spineless to go on stage and say "happy pride month" and not acknowledge the political oppression that queers in USA were facing (something about a bill or the republican party idk man I'm not american, i dont remember but i did research when i watched the doc tho). She has claimed she was gonna be clear about where she stands (many republicans had considered her to be one, and many thought she's conservative or something, but she was always quiet about it, until the lover era). However, she just stopped that activism after the lover era, and went back to being quiet on where she stands (I've seen many swifties refer to the lover era as the activism era) and hasn't spoken about anything substantial really. She did some things like post a black square with 13 hearts during blm, and stuff that every celeb who wasn't openly a pos did, but that's kinda it. Even as a self proclaimed feminist, she didn't speak up on issues such as roe v wade, or about an issue regarding drag queens despite having them in yntcd, or talking about trans/queer rights until she was in a blue state (im not an American, I just like to keep up a little with stuff in usa cuz it's always up in my face sadly, and thus i cant be specific, but anyways, correct me if I'm wrong, or if I missed something).

So even after saying she'll be vocal, she was just... not. And that's basically her on politics or giving a shit about minority communities.

Context: Fandom's reaction

Swifties were extremely disappointed that taylor CHOSE to associate with a man like this, and there were fans calling her out, and she received backlash, too.

Most of these swifties were poc (myself included) and they felt hurt that an artist that they not just supported and developed such a deep connection with, but also financially supported for years, would have such disregard for them. Not just was she dating him, but she kept saying things such as "I have never been happier in all aspects of my life" or saying "I love you" or "uk who you are" in romantic songs on the tour, which was just adding insult to injury. She also did a collab with ice spice (which was completely out of nowhere, and the collab itself seemed badly made and rushed), which fans and others speculated to be a pr cover up for the fact that matty healy had mocked her (many ppl also believed that it was too quick for it to be a pr cover tho).

Now, in the fandom, when poc swifties were calling her out on dating mh, (mostly) white swifties started harassing poc swifties for doing so, or saying that they are hindering with her happiness or some bs about it being "just a fling" (again, myself included). They said it's the same as seeing a friend get out of a long-term relationship and make bad dating choices, and poc swifties should let it go (as if taylor is our close personal friend). In a mostly white fandom, poc swifties felt alienated and sidelined.

Ofc, taylor never addressed any of this backlash, and after she broke up with him, there were articles saying that sources say (which mostly means her pr team atp) that her breakup had nothing to do with his controversies or behavior.

The album release (lyrics, references and reaction)

Now, with the release of ttpd, contrary to what most of the fandom believed, most of the songs on both the albums are believed to be (and heavily hinted on) about matty healy. These include 4 songs- "ttpd", "but daddy I love him", "I can fix him (no really I can)", and "guilty as sin?"

Ttpd, the title track, talks about mh being "a tattooed golden retriever" (wtf) and about him love-bombing her, and her pining after him, thinking about marriage and shit. But daddy I love him and I can fix him, are basically that no one supported her dating decision and she's claiming that she loves him oh so goddamn much, but more importantly, her talking about her fans' reactions. Specifically, describing her poc fans to be "vipers" and "judgemental creeps" who hate her and them being hurt as "bitching and moaning", and basically took the side of the (white) fans who defended her, indirectly. She described his racist bs as "crazy" and said shit like she could "handle a dangerous man." She also has another song, "Guilty as sin?" and while I genuinely don't give a fuck about what she chooses to do in her private life, unless it is problematic, it is about her fantasizing about being with that racist man while being in a long term relationship with joe alwyn. She sings about how she wants him and wants to be with him... in multiple ways, iykyk. Again, out of context, I love this song so much, but that doesn't erase the context, right?

She also has a song "I hate it here" where she says the following lines:

"My friends used to play a game where

We would pick a decade

We wished we could live in instead of this

I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid"

And while there are many reasons why this line by itself is racist (romantisization of a time that was extremely shitty to many communities, most of which she is not a part of, showing herself to be "oh look I'm so woke I still remember the bad things even when I romanticize bad eras in history" which is something you expect from an ignorant white high schooler maybe, not a 34 y/o billionaire who claims to be well-read, etc.) but taylor swift herself saying these is adding insult to injury cuz she has shown time and time again she has no problem with racism (she kept quiet when antonia gentry, a black actress, received hate and racist threats by swifties because of a line BY NETFLIX that taylor didn't like, and she shouldn't ofc, but it wasn't the actress' fault), or associating herself with them (matty healy, for example). It is hypocritical to write something like that after writing an album about pining after a man and his "dangerousness," which is just bigotry. Way to romanticise racism, sexism, and antisemitism, taylor.

Even now, after listening to the album, she clearly doesn't like mh anymore, NOT because of his actions, but because he broke her heart, showing that she still enables and is okay with everything he did.

And that's kind of it (ig) about her and matty healy. I'm not really sure exactly which part you wanted to know, so this is just a gist of it all. Hope it helps :)

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rabnerd28 · 1 month

Text

Watching Cats (2019) DvD Commentary

Thoughts as I watch:

Tom is literally basing this entire movie on the one time he saw Cats in 1981 when he was 8 years old

He called the movie a coming of age film about Victoria meeting characters that effect her and that Tugger represents the sin of lust (yes I am laughing)

He said abandoned three times in a row to describe Grizabella

Tom made up the thing about Grizabella used to be with Macavity happened because he wanted to cut out the idea that she was a prostitute

Has Bustopher eat trash because he thought that's what cats would be more interested in

The pause in Bustopher Jones when he says to gather the cats is a meta joke about the cats actually being people

The food was CGI

"Sees the implication of his unchecked appetites" in reference to Victoria and Bustopher Jones

Hooper brought his niece and nephew to set to play on the Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer set

He keeps insisting that there is a learning and growing arc for Victoria, but I have no idea what he's talking about

He has barely talked about the characters as actual characters and mostly just talks about how great it is to work with famous celebrity number five or how they're symbolical. I think he's making things up at this point

He added the love story because he thought Misto trying to figure out how to be a magician was a good parallel with Victoria's story of finding herself

Originally the first barge scene was longer with a lot of improv from James and Rebel as Growltiger went on

"Robbie Fairchild is brilliant" that is the only thing Tom said that makes sense

This man really said "women can be the god of cats in 2019"

Judie and Ian were the ones to decide that Gus and Old D had a thing...well at least they followed the pattern of cats actors making weird decisions for their characters

I've come to the conclusion that Tom chose his cast based on which famous actors he's always wanted to work with

Tom has no idea how to describe choreography...just like how he has no idea how to film it

Giving Victoria a solo to sing was ALW's idea

He thinks the call and response of Beautiful Ghosts and Memory is brilliant and doesn't understand how he fucked that up

They almost cut "Moments of Hapiness"

He keeps talking about how great this film is for women, but where is Demeter sir!

He didn't know that it's Jellylorum that sings Gus' song and because Ian couldn't tell what the relationship between the two was he cut out her singing it for him

He talks about the advantage of mixing the CGI with the practical clothing, and I'm like, you know what would be even better? No CGI!

I don't know who's playing Bomba, but she was the first person to be cast in Cats

He said that he thinks Macavity works better as a solo and it didn't need to be a duet...I have never felt more like murder in my whole life

Taylor Swifts dad gave him the idea for the catnip

He likes the idea of Macavity being evil yet still plays by the rules...why?

He's talking about the changes from the musical to Mr Mistoffelees, and boy is he not bringing up that Tugger is the one that sings the number

Talks about community like there was any in this movie

This man has no idea who Jemima/Sillabub is, does he?

He finally mentioned Mette Towley as Cassandra at least. Recognize that she's the best character in this film goddamit!

Apparently Munkustrap was supposed to be learning about leading this whole film...wat

Apparently he watched the 98 film several times while writing the script...and yet this movie is straight

I'm not watching the commentary for the end credits. Fuck I hate this man

#cats musical #cats 2019 #tom hooper #i will keep my gag of not knowing who that is going even on my tumblr #cats the musical #cats movie

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littlexscarletxwitch · 11 months

Text

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, based on endgame by taylor swift (you don't understand how much i'm loving this song), cute gf flo

warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 2.2k

note: omg, it's finally here. I'm so sorry it took me sooo long, it just I was super busy. Was this inspire by Ms. Taylor Swift? Yes, yes it was. I really hope you guys like this one. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Love you all so much <3

note 2: guys, I'm currently reading 'Delilah Green doesnt' care' and it's giving me so many ideas for fics. So would any of you be interest in more mum!florence? Please let me know. Xoxo, M

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

Your eyes were closed, your head was on her chest listening to her steady heartbeats, a soft smile formed on your lips.

“Promise me this is forever,” you whispered.

You knew she was awake, she was doing the same thing as you, enjoying the moment, living in the present.

Your eyes found hers already looking at you.

“I promise,” she said, her smile mirroring yours.

Her lips found yours as if sealing the promise forever, but nothing ever lasts forever. The kiss that was first sweet and soft and filled with love, turned bitter, harsh and cold. You pulled back confusion written all over your face.

You blink once then twice, and suddenly you were waking up on your bed, alone. You cursed yourself at the stupid memory. It was so pathetic to still think about Florence that way. You two were history, long forgotten, just a memory of your adolescence.

You shook your head, trying to wake up your foggy brain from the nap you had taken. And decided to get some work done as a way to clear your head from your silly old fantasies.

You made yourself a cup of tea, grabbed your notebook and put your headphones on. You only had three more months to finish your second album. The deadline wasn’t much of a concern of yours, what bothered you was the lack of inspiration. Every lyric you would write down was just trash, it was as if you were missing something. So far you had only five finished songs, and you needed ten more to have the album finished.

You were humming, moving your head to the beat as you let your brain come up with the right words, but it felt as if you were stuck.

“I wanna be your endgame,” you sang to the beat. “I wanna be, I wanna be your… ” you threw your head back in annoyance, frustration getting the best out of you.

You had been sitting on the floor for the last hour, trying to finish this one song but you were not even close to it. You took a deep breath trying not to lose your shit. Your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with a new notification and that took your whole attention.

“Y/n Y/l/n and Drew Starkey spotted out for dinner,” you read out loud and couldn’t help rolling your eyes at the link your manager and best friend had sent you.

According to the news, you were dating both Drew Starkey and Joe Keery. You also almost got engaged the week before to Rudy Pankow, but apparently cheated on him with Maya Hawke. You knew better than to actually pay attention to fake news, but you couldn’t help to. After all that was now your life, the life of a startpop in the making, so much for a boring Oxford kid.

Your reputation precedes you, in rumours you were knee-deep. But there was nothing you could do about it. Exhausted from your social life and the poor lack of motivation to do the one thing you loved the most, you decided to go out on a walk, hoping it would help to clear your thoughts about both the fake news and Florence, who you tried to ignore from thinking of. But ever since that dream you found yourself thinking about her more often.

You knew she was as famous as you were, maybe even more. You had to admit to yourself that some nights you found some kind of comfort in her movies, watching her cute pouty face, the one she was most known for.

She was your first love, she taught you how to love, what it was to be loved. Of course it wasn’t easy to forget about her, even after all these years, some part of you still craved her love. It wasn’t that you didn’t love each other when you both decided to go separate ways, it was because things weren’t so simple anymore. You two weren’t just two teenargs in love, you were slowly becoming adults. She had booked roles and you were making your way into the music industry.

And without the two of you knowing you two just drifted apart, the two of you too caught up in your careers. But you loved her, so you decided to let her go, hoping and praying to the universe that maybe she would come back to you one day.

Your thoughts were interrupted as you opened the door to your local cafe and someone bumped into you.

“Sorry, I wasn’t… “ but you stopped cold once you saw the strangers eyes.

“Y/n?” she asked, her voice as soft and raspy as you remembered. “What are you doing here?” a smile formed on her face, as if she was genuinely happy to see you.

You shook your head trying to clear out your mind, was Florence really in front of you? “I, um, I lived here,” you blinked once, twice and she was still there. “Just around the corner,” you added, cursing yourself for being so awkward. “What are you doing here?”

Was this a sign of the universe? Have your prayers been answered?

“Visiting my family,” right her family, you thought. “Well, not just that, I’m also working,” she scratched the back of her neck. “I was actually hoping to see you, too.”

“Really?” that had to mean something, the universe couldn't be messing around with you this cruelly. Right?

“Yeah, I have, um… I have been thinking about you.” she smiled at you and you felt the butterflies in your stomach. “I think we should talk.”

“I, um,” what were you supposed to say? Were you willingly going to agree to spend time with the love of your life as if the two of you were going to be just friends? What was that supposed to mean?

“Yeah, sure. When are you free?” you finally agree.

You mentally checked your schedule, you were supposed to finish your songs but taking a break wouldn’t hurt anybody. Plus, you were going to get your coffee and get back to it right away.

“Um, what about now?”

Shit, you thought. She wasn’t going to give you any time to prepare yourself. Well, you better get into it, rip it off like a band aid.

“Okay, I was going to get a coffee and then we can…”

“Yeah, yeah, take your time. I’m going to find us a table.”

You order your coffee while mentally preparing for the conversation the two of you were going to have. What was she on about? Was it really a big coincidence? Did the universe put her in our path for some reason? You shook your head, you needed to stop thinking about the universe’s way of working for a second.

They handed you your coffee and now you had no more excuses to avoid her, not that you wanted to. Some part of you long to be near her, but you were scared of what this whole thing was about.

“So, um, what’s up with Drew?” she tried to pretend she didn’t care but was actually dying to know if you were actually dating him, not that you noticed it.

“Who?”

“Drew? Starkey?”

“Oh, yeah, Drew,” you chuckled, silly you for forgetting your own friend. “He’s just a friend, a really good friend,” was it your imagination or did she just let out a breath of relief. “What about Ashley?” you asked before taking a sip of your coffee.

She smiled at you, “She’s also a really good friend.”

“So, um…”

“Listen, Y/n…”

The both of you chuckled.

“You go first, Flo”

That nickname. It was stupid because everyone who knew her would call her ‘Flo’, but coming out of your lips felt different. She had missed hearing her name on your lips, she had missed you.

“I’m just going to say it, okay?” you only nodded. “I lied earlier, I’m not here for work or visiting my family. I came here to find you,” your lips parted in disbelief. “Ever since we broke things apart, I had been feeling like something was missing, Y/n. And I recently realised it was you. Well, I saw the article about you getting married and all I could think of was that something wasn’t right.”

“Florence I…”

“No, please let me finish,” she cut you off. “I understand that we are strangers to each other, but I would love to get to know you once again. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, it can be like a fresh start. I just really need you in my life, Y/n. I miss my best friend.”

You took another sip of your coffee, stealing time before giving her an answer. The truth was you already knew what you wanted, you knew it the moment you sat at the table, but you wanted to mess with her just a little bit.

You put your cup down, and finally your eyes found hers, “I would like nothing more.”

[...]

Ever since that day, Florence and you had been spending everyday together. Catching up with each other and going back to old habits.

The more you hang out with her, the more you could feel your old feeling coming back. But you didn’t want to rush things just to ruin them again. But one particular afternoon you couldn't hold back anymore and decided to do something about it.

She had fallen asleep 30 minutes ago, you chuckled as you realised her current state because she had picked out the movie but turns out she was more tired than what she let you see.

You headed to your small studio and decided to get back to the song you were working on before running into Florence. You knew exactly what you wanted to say, having found your new inspiration a few weeks ago.

You pressed play and the music started playing, you already had a few things written down in your notebook you just needed to put all your ideas together.

You were so lost and immersed in finishing the song, going at it back and forth, changing some lyrics, singing some ideas, writing and crossing out some bits, that you didn’t realise someone was watching you just when you were about to finish.

You had already recorded the whole song and were just checking it out when Florence leaned in the frame door.

Florence smiled as she listened to your sweet voice. She wondered who this song was about.

Knew her when I was young, reconnected when we were little bit older

Both sprung, I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders

She didn’t want to get her hopes up.

Reputation precedes me, in rumors, I'm knee-deep

The truth is, it’s easier to ignore it, believe me

She felt her heart shrinking in her chest.

Even when we'd argue, we'd not do it for long

And you understand the good and bad end up in the song

She listened closely to the song as you hummed to it.

For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Her heartbeat and body temperature were rising.

I've made mistakes and made some choices, that's hard to deny

After the storm, something was born on the 4th of July

I've passed days without fun, this end game is the one

With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it

She couldn't take it any longer.

“I like it,” she said, getting closer to where you were sitting. “It’s catchy,” she said, trying to shake her feeling away. That song could be about anyone.

“I feel like something’s missing,” you scrunch your nose.

“Sing the corus to me, please,” she looked at you with her doe eyes and you swear you could have melted in that moment.

You shook your head with a smile on your face and compiled, “I wanna be your endgame, endgame,” you finished singing the chorus. “And then it goes. Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah,” you sang, trying to not look at Florence.

“You know, it sounds awfully familiar,” she teased, wanting nothing more than for it to be true.

“And you heard about me, ooh. I got some big enemies,” you kept on going.

“What are you trying to say, Y/n?” she kept on pushing you.

“Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation, ah. And I heard about you, ooh. You like the bad ones, too,” you finished, trying to tell her that you were thinking exactly what she was thinking.

She was so close to you now, her knees brushing against yours, sending electricity throughout your body. You could feel her hot breath on your lips.

“I want to…” she didn’t finish her sentence because you were already nodding and she smashed her lips to yours in a second.

You felt as if a wave of cold water was washing over you. Her lips felt both familiar and new at the same time. You felt at home as she wrapped her arm around your waist and her other hand cupped your cheek. You didn’t want to ever stop kissing her, but both you and her needed to breathe so ultimately pulled apart.

She rested her forehead on yours, both of her hands cupping your cheeks, caressing your skin with her fingertips.

“I wanna be your endgame,” you quietly sang to her.

She chuckled before kissing you again and again and again.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pugh x fem reader #florence pugh x y/n #florence pugh x you #florence pugh fluff #florence pugh imagine #littlexscarletxwitch's fic #Spotify #[🎧⊹♡] based on songs i love

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undead-supernova · 3 months

Text

I'll Pay the Price, You Won't.

Miss Heartbreak

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

Masterlist

This chapter is based off of Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift and I'm starting to realize just how in deep I am in the lore and storytelling of her music. See if you can find my easter eggs, hm?

plot: no cameras catch my muffled cries...you are the only one who seems to care...this is a fight that some day we're gonna win

Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x fem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)

Warnings: slut shaming, body image insecurities, public shaming, crying

easter egg count: 43

wc: 5.3k

When you first realized you were in love with him, it was a Saturday night. You weren’t even with him. In fact, you were at a house party with some of your best friends. They weren’t famous—these three girls were in college, just the way you should’ve been. You’d met them at a dive bar in Pittsburg while touring.

There was a distinct memory of watching these girls walk in, talking about their English courses and the ten-page research papers on the feminist lens of the works of Octavia Butler, rape culture in a novel called Waiting for the Barbarians, and how the third girl was doing some deep dive into the coded lesbianism in Gertrude Stein’s Tender Buttons. You approached them, desperate to know more about their class. Their studies. Their college experiences.

Desperate to know more about the life you gave away when your career blew up three days before moving into your dorm room.

They knew who you were, but they didn’t care to squeal or ask for pictures. Instead, they motioned for you to join them and started to complain about their shared Rhetorical Analysis class. And after a few Fireball shots, some poor attempts at karaoke, and loud debates about Jane Austen and Emily Brontë that nearly got you kicked out, you were solidified.

But there you were, at a college house party after flying out just to see them. You were in drastically different makeup than you were used to. In short, you were basically in Eddie Munson cosplay. Your friends had dressed you up, giggling and adding more charcoal eye shadow than you desired. Becky, Mary, and Este swore it would make you feel better. That you’d dance the night away without a care in the world.

But the couch was where you stayed the whole night, a mimosa (filled with more prosecco than orange juice) in your hands as you watched life exist around you. You were pretending to be a normal twenty-two year old girl. You were pretending that you could have love affairs with anyone you wanted to and if your heart got broken every single time, it wouldn’t be such a big deal to anyone outside of your friends that loved you.

And he would be there, too.

With your head to rest on his shoulder, listening to him talk about his Dungeons and Dragons game he hosted with the rest of the band when they were tucked away in hotel rooms. They were too big to go out without everyone and their mother following them, so they found a way to escape.

(People thought they did drugs and partied. And, at the start of the band, they did. Eddie had told you about having a coke problem in the beginning and Gareth, Jeff, and Grant trashing hotel rooms. Ronnie getting the cops called on her house regularly for the outrageous parties she hosted. But it died out after about a year when they realized how tiring it was to just be on all the time. They went to parties sometimes, but now they really looked forward to smoking a few joints and playing a fantasy game.)

In this fictional scenario, they’d congregate in the communal rooms at their dorm. They’d buy a few pizzas and beer, remembering to get the garlic twists of course, and play for six hours.

And you would lean over to his ear, brushing your lips against his ear and say, “I’m in love with you.”

As soon as it fell into your imagination, you were startled to the point of springing up and running to the bathroom, hyperventilating in the mirror. The rest of your night had been spent with your friends cuddling you in their shared apartment until you could calm down.

“It’s too soon for this!” you exclaimed. “It’s too soon for me to fall in love.”

They said that it was fine. That you were allowed to love him. That the chance at love was worth the bullshit. You could survive this, even if he didn’t feel the same. Maybe you would be able to connect better if you just told him how you felt.

But this was only a month after you started seeing each other.

Only a week before you two were caught in public together.

Only a week before the whole world had an opinion.

“I can’t believe we’re out at a restaurant in Manhattan of all places.”

“On a date,” he noted.

“On a date.”

“Oh, and happy four-month anniversary,” he said while holding up his piece of bread, leaning over to tap yours with it.

“Ah, yes. How could I forget?” you teased before stuffing the slice in your mouth, closing your eyes as you became overwhelmingly calmed by the taste of butter melting on your tongue.

It was super late on a Saturday, one of the only times you could get away with having a private dinner without the threat of paparazzi and lingering glances. You felt fancy, with a sparkly silver dress on, all short with thin straps and a small slit at the thigh. Tall, sparkly silver heels that made you nearly the same height as him. A fluffy pink faux fur coat sitting on the back of the chair (that Eddie had spent the whole drive here running his hands through). Pink nails to match, already chipped from your nervous picking.

Eddie was dressed beautifully, wearing a silk white button down. Simple black blazer and slacks. His signature boots. Those rings. That necklace. Hair up in a bun with bangs and stray hairs framing his face. The only real nontraditional part of his ensemble was a thin layer of black eyeliner adorning his eyelids and waterline, with mascara to match.

Oh, and a coat of lipgloss, lipgloss that he borrowed from you, that was now lining the rim of his wine glass.

“Do you like it?” he asked. “The wine, I mean.”

You looked down at the burgundy liquid you were absentmindedly swirling. You had no clue what that did for the drink or if it was just to look fancy, but it was something you saw your parents do growing up. You decided to take a crack at being an adult tonight, just to see how it felt.

“Yeah, it’s nice. Thank you.”

He nodded, but you could tell that he was still nervous about the whole thing. You couldn’t blame him. Being out for an official date together in the heart of a city with nearly nine million people who could ruin it at any second was quite a heavy burden. There was a part of you that feared that you had become a burden in the last four months.

Enough of that, you tried to tell yourself.

“However,” you added. “I do have to confess that I have absolutely no clue what the difference is between this and the stuff I get at the grocery store.”

Eddie let out a sigh and a breathy laugh. You wondered how long he’d been holding it in. “Well, that’s a relief because I was literally sitting here thinking the exact same thing.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Are you serious?”

He kept laughing. “Yes! I thought I was the only one!”

“No, this is literally exactly how I feel whenever I have dinner with some of the label execs,” you exclaimed. “They order all this like crazy expensive wine, and I have to just sit there and be like,” you raised the pitch of your voice, “Oh, wow. This is sooo cool. So good. What year is it? That must cost a fortune.”

Eddie nodded. “Me, too! And it’s like: Dude, seriously? I could get shit I like better than this at, like, Trader Joe’s or Target. Fuck, even Walmart.”

You giggled as you continued to nod with him. “Yes, yes, yes! I genuinely don’t get it. Everyone is so pretentious, I swear.”

“I wholeheartedly agree.” Eddie raised his glass. “Fuck ‘em.”

You grinned. “Fuck ‘em!” you agreed, clinking your glass with his before you took a hearty sip. Finally took a second glance around the room.

“I really thought there’d be more people here,” you observed. “Isn’t this, like, a popular restaurant? I hear celebs love this place.”

“I maaaay have bought out the empty tables,” Eddie admitted, looking sheepish. “I didn’t want our first official date to be bombarded with people we know or even ones we don’t. I wanted to make sure I could focus.”

A grin met your lips. “You’re a sweetheart, you know that?”

“That’s you, baby. That’s all you.”

The playful dinner conversation continued with a whole three course meal plus dessert. You came alive in public for once, talking in silly voices and laughing as loud as you wanted. Like you were best friends. Like you were lovers. Holding Eddie’s hand at the table without having to worry about cell phones. No one here was able to take away what was yours.

Despite feeling full, you couldn’t help but nibble on some more of the bread. Your personal trainer, Mary, forbid you from eating any while you were gearing up for another album release and tour. But you were starting to care a little bit less. And she wasn’t here. Eddie was, pushing the basket towards you.

But then the strangest thing happened as the waiter took your dinner plate.

As he turned to leave, you looked past him and saw that the other five occupied tables in the restaurant were…staring. And…so were their waiters? Had everyone finally started staring or were you only now noticing? But you would’ve noticed before…

They were all looking from their phones to you and then back again. The hushed whispers were getting a bit louder, even catching Eddie’s ears. He turned his head to look but was distracted when his phone started ringing.

Gareth.

“Take it,” you encouraged. Eddie raised an eyebrow. “It’s probably important.”

He nodded. “Hey,” he said as he answered. “No, I’m on an incredibly important date, remember?”

As you spread butter over the last slice, you couldn’t help but giggle when Eddie looked up at you with a quick wink and a smile meant only for you.

But then his eyebrows narrowed.

“What’re you doing watching cable?”

And a part of you wished you could hear the other side of the conversation when you watched Eddie’s neutral expression falling into anger.

“They what?”

“It’s fucking SNL. They haven’t had a good run in years. I don’t think anyone even watches—”

You noticed him get cut off before shaking his head.

“What? Why the fuck do people care?”

“Fuck…yeah, okay… Sure, whatever…” He sighed, pinching his nose in frustration. “No, I’m not mad at you. Promise… I’m sorry for being a dick. I just hate people, I swear…” A quick nod. “Thanks for understanding and letting me know. Love you, dude. Okay, talk later.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked as he immediately started searching for something on his phone. “Is everything okay?”

Eddie paused, looking away from his phone to bring his attention back to you.

His expression held something resembling an apology.

“The guys are watching TV back at the hotel and, uh, they were watching SNL…”

“Okay?”

“Apparently they did a skit about you.”

Your stomach dropped as you let his words sink in.

It was one thing to have random people on the internet give you shit. It was another thing entirely for a long-running, highly known television show to have grown adults portray you and spend four to six minutes making fun of you. Especially when you’d performed there merely two months ago.

“Is it…” you trailed, almost unable to speak.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Yeah, it’s bad.”

“It’s on YouTube already?” He nodded. “Let me see.”

“Are you sure you want to watch it?”

You nodded. “I should know what’s going on. Everyone’s already staring at us,” you stated, gesturing behind him.

When Eddie looked back at every nameless face watching you, every single person looked away. Like he commanded the room with his presence. Like he had the power to change the world with just one stare.

He had changed your world with just one glance.

Sighing, Eddie clicked on the video, holding it between you two on the table.

“I decided to go on The Bachelorette to prove that I haven't dated everyone,” a woman said with a huge grin, mimicking the way you smiled. "And to get new inspiration because I need to sell my next album. I'm sure this will be fun."

Some new addition to the cast tried to imitate your posture. Your voice. Your everything. She was acting like you were some ditsy girl. Did people really think of you like this? Is this how the cast and crew saw you when you were there?

A fake announcer's voice said, “Here are the men and women chosen for tonight.”

The woman impersonating you smiled even wider in a comedic fashion, making fun of the way you, what, didn't ever give a negative reaction? The camera turned to watch everyone file in.

The different men and women of the SNL cast rotated, pretending to be people you’d allegedly been with. But most of them were wrong. When you were rumored to be dating these people, friend or not, they left, either from wanting that clout or being unable to handle the noise. All you had wanted were real friendships, real relationships. But being burnt at the stake came with the possibility of flammable embers.

One after the other, impression after impression, they were reminding you of everyone you’d lost.

And was that Jacob Elordi pretending to be…Christopher Briney?

(You met Christopher once at the Emmy’s, having taken one fucking photo together before he was whisked away by his team. At the time, you had only wished he would notice you before he got a girlfriend…)

“We're missing one guy...where is he?” the announcer said.

Mikey Day popped in with a smoke machine behind him and some copyright free rock music playing, wearing a curly wig and pretending to be Eddie. The audience lost their minds, erupting in applause and laughter at the sheer mention of him. He was immediately stereotyped as a punk stoner who only pretended to listen to you talk while playing his guitar.

“Hey, babe,” he said, trying to mimic Eddie’s voice. “What’s up?”

You looked over at the real Eddie who looked less than impressed. Less than affected by someone trying to make fun of him. You wished you could say the same for yourself.

“I CHOOSE HIM FOR MY NEXT ALBUM!” the woman shouted before ripping up the roses and walking over. However, she turned and pointed at the others. "Save them for me in case I get bored.”

As she grabbed onto "Eddie's" arm and professed her love, it was clear that he wasn't paying attention. "Are you even listening to me?" she shouted.

“Nah, baaabe,” he said and then realized his “mistake”. Cue laughter. “I’m totes paying attention.” Laughter. “Just practicing this sick riff for the band.” He raised his guitar before turning it the other way. “Does it look cool this way, babe?” Laughter ensued as he pretended to play his guitar right-handed. “Do I look metal as hell?”

“Totally, babe,” the woman said, giggling. “You’re so hot.”

“Ah, babe, thanks. I know it’s been three minutes but this is forever, babe.”

When the skit ended, Eddie turned it off and shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay,” you said, trying to tell yourself more than him. “It’s okay. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Did anyone see what was happening? That this was starting to get out of hand? It was like nobody gave a shit, nobody cared that you were human. Yes, you were privileged and had money, you knew that. You grew up fucking poor, hit even worse with the 2008 recession, hardly ever recovering.

You always acknowledged your privilege, always made it a point to give it away to people who needed it more than you. Provided for your family so your parents didn’t have to go back to working at the sawmill and being fucking tour guides for next to nothing at Graceland. (The fucking irony.) Donated constantly to animal shelters, women’s shelters, LGBTQIA+ youth organizations, etc. etc.

But no one would know any of that because you kept that secret. Kept it hidden to be the face of your label, with a shiny pageant smile. You were now the punching bag, the reflection of society that every YouTuber did deep dives on and now SNL was taking a shot at.

When would it end?

“Are you?” Eddie asked, causing you to come out of the fog. “‘Cause your hands are shaking.”

You looked down, realizing he was right. “I—”

Before you could say anything, your own phone buzzed. Looking down, you noticed a text from Becky. It was a link to a video on Twitter or X or whatever the fuck it was called now. Her text read,

Look how delusional the internet is. I don’t care about this crap but I wanted to make sure you knew what was going on before you got bamboozled or something. Also, fuck that SNL skit. Love you.

“There’s more,” you murmured, looking up at Eddie’s concerned expression.

“Fuck.”

He stood up immediately and pulled over the chair next to you. He sat and leaned in, just as deep into this as you were. You didn’t hesitate to click on the link. It was just another band-aid to rip off anyways.

The caption said:

are gareth ronnie and grant next? lmao eddie shouldn’t have gone anywhere near her. the vibes are soooo off

You heard Eddie scoff as he read it.

The video attached was of you and Jeff walking around New York City that very morning, laughing together. You nudged his arm, animatedly talking.

You knew what had happened, distinctly remembering that the conversation was about Eddie. Jeff had been teasing you, telling you that he knew you were disgustingly in love with him and that you needed to just say it before you lost your minds. You thought it was funny, so you jokingly nudged his arm and pretended to threaten violence. That was it. Nothing else happened.

“No!” you exclaimed, wild-eyed as you turned to Eddie. “No, Jeff and I went to get this chocolate mousse at this little bistro we both like. We told you before we left, remember? I swear it was the truth. We were literally talking about you. Eddie, I—”

“It’s all good, sweetheart,” Eddie interrupted, kissing your temple four times. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s okay. I believe you. I know you’d never do anything like that.” You felt yourself breathe again. “Besides, Jeff has a crush on our tech manager anyways.”

That made you chuckle for a second, but you felt yourself deflate, putting a hand on your forehead as tears trickled down your cheeks. “I’m scared. I don’t like this, Eddie.”

“Me neither.”

Before you could say anything else, your waiter was approaching the table.

“Is there anything else I can get for you?” the waiter asked, hands politely clasped in front of him. You avoided his gaze, embarrassment flooding your system. There was something irrational telling you that he would tell the internet about your breakdown, expose you for your reaction.

But when you glanced at him, he actually looked…concerned.

“Yeah, could we get the check, please?” Eddie asked in a hushed voice, running his fingers down your back. “We’re gonna need a minute, but I just wanna get that out of the way.”

“Of course, Mr. Munson.” he responded before turning to you. “I can take that plate for you if you’d like?”

“Oh, yes, sorry,” you said, sniffling.

Without thinking, you moved your hand to grab your bread plate, accidentally knocking your glass on the table. You watched as the wine seeped into the white cloth, staining the fabric.

Eddie was quick to grab the glass before it shattered on the floor.

“Oh, shit,” you muttered, taking your napkin and trying to blot the stain. You kept glancing up at the waiter through your tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s so rude of me. I’m so sorry.”

The waiter shook his head. “It’s okay, ma’am. We have a hundred more in the back. This happens all the time.”

“Here,” you said, shaking your head as you rummaged through your purse. When you found your wad of cash, you handed him a one-hundred-dollar bill. “Take this. For you, not the restaurant. I’m so sorry.”

He gaped at you, looking down at the bill before looking back up. “Um, thank you,” he said, breaking his customer service voice before taking the cash from you. “I’ll get everything sorted for you right away.”

“Sweetheart.”

“I want to leave,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “Can we leave?”

You looked over at Eddie who was already standing and grabbing your coat.

“Yeah, baby,” he said softly. “I’ll pay up front. Come on, let’s go.”

But it wasn’t really going to be that simple, was it?

As soon as you reached the front doors, James and Scott, your personal bodyguard, were stopping you.

“Guys, uh, we got a situation,” Scott said, mainly looking at you.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“There’s a fuck ton of paparazzi out there.”

“And that’s the only way we can get to the car,” James added.

You wanted to look at Eddie, but you didn’t want him knowing just how scared you were. He was so stoic and strong, always being able to shrug everything off. It was like he was born for this.

Maybe you weren’t.

“Okay,” Eddie said, putting his shoulders back before grabbing your hand. His grasp was firm with a gentle squeeze that left your heart soaring despite the fear. He nudged your arm, causing you to look up. “Ready, sweetheart?”

You nodded, looking back at James and Scott, tear stains still adorning your cheeks. “I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

A gasp left your mouth as the doors opened and a swarm of people with cameras crowded around you. Flashes and red recording lights and cell phones. Screams, gasps. Some fans tried to catch your attention the best they could, but their voices were drowned out by the incessant vultures. James and Scott were on either side of you, pushing people out of the way.

But it did nothing. It only sprung more tears.

Paparazzi shouted your name. Shouted Eddie’s.

“What did you think of the SNL skit?”

“Any comment on the cheating allegations?”

“Is this thing between you serious?”

They were all variations of the same thing.

Except for one voice that stood out from the rest.

“Hey, why are you crying?”

You turned, seeing a teenage girl who looked barely fourteen, maybe fifteen, with rainbow braces and friendship bracelets in her hand. She stood next to who you presumed to be her mother, over by the curb. Set apart from the hive.

Despite your better judgment, you nudged Scott and walked over to her quickly.

“I want to talk to her,” you told him loudly, disconnecting your hand from Eddie’s.

Scott nodded. “You got maybe a minute and a half before things get buckwild.”

“She’s got this,” Eddie said. You looked at him and smiled.

Thank you, you mouthed before rushing over to the girl.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Just got a lot going on, hun,” you said softly, trying to smile but your tears clouded your vision. Your only hope was that the sight wouldn’t scar her for the rest of her life. “What’s your name?”

“Caroline,” she said before handing you the bracelets. “I made these for you.”

Her mom placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up. “She’s been keeping them with her just in case she ever saw you in the city. She’s a big, big fan.”

You could only try to smile again, studying the colors Caroline chose to represent your last few albums. Light blue to represent your self-titled album. A soft sage for your second, “Tetris”. Sparkling gold for your last album, “Acacia My Dear”. There were even one or two that had references to inside jokes shared between you and the fans.

“These are beautiful,” you told her, immediately rolling them onto your wrist. “Thank you so much, Caroline.”

“Could I get a picture of you two?” her mom asked.

“Hey,” Scott interrupted. “Sorry, we gotta cut this short. They’re pressin’ in on us.”

You nodded, looking back at Caroline. “Thank you so much, Caroline. This means everything to me,” you said honestly. Without thought, you gave her a tight hug. “You just made everything better,” you whispered in her ear.

When you pulled back, her mom grabbed your hand. “You’re doing great things,” she said, softly squeezing your hand. “Don’t let those bastards win.”

Before you could even process her words or thank her, Scott was pulling you back to Eddie. Scott seemed a little softer, blonde hair still peppering with gray. He was from Tennessee, like you, his accent just noticeable enough to give him away. James seemed to contrast him, with thick muscles, frown lines across his forehead, and a bald head. Oh, and did you mention that he was a hardass from Ireland?

Your grasp on Eddie’s hand tightened with every passing second before you were finally enclosed in the confines of the black van.

The walk to the car was only, what, two minutes? Three?

But it felt like forever.

The waterworks continued, wracking your body with sobs you didn’t realize were just brewing behind the façade you were able to put up on any given occasion.

Scott took the driver’s seat while James took shotgun. You could just barely make out what they were whispering.

“Fucking vampires, the lot of ‘em,” James said, shaking his head.

“Them two deserve better,” Scott replied. “They’re just fucking kids.”

Eddie pulled you into his side, making sure you were hidden from any and all intrusion even if the windows were severely tinted.

You had an urge, however miniscule it felt, to go on your Instagram story and be bitter about it. Tell SNL to fuck off and remind them how sexist and gross it was to put you in a sketch just to make fun of your dating history when there were men around you who ran through women like sport and talked about them like each one was a momentary fad.

But you knew what would happen. You would be considered overreacting. You’d be a woman scorned and laughed at for caring so much despite the rest of the fucking internet seeming to care more.

So, you did nothing. Said nothing.

You merely curled yourself further into Eddie and fought the urge to have a mental breakdown.

“We’re getting out of the city,” he whispered. “Back to your place.”

“It’s a long drive,” you mumbled.

“I don’t mind. Really. We made the drive out here, remember?” Eddie shook his head. “Speaking of, I’m sorry. I should’ve chosen somewhere more secluded.”

“You shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t have to.”

He leaned back, tilting your chin up to make eye contact with you. “I want you to feel safe.”

“But I want us to be normal people going to a normal restaurant and have a normal date.”

“We’ll win this fight, okay?” he said, tracing his thumb along your cheeks as the tears came and went. “They have to get bored soon enough, yeah? TikTok will move on to its next viral bullshit anytime now. We just have to wait it out.”

“It’ll just go away?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Both you and Eddie let out a sigh. “Listen, okay? Just listen to me. We’ll figure this out. I’ll tell the world to fuck off. Just give me the word and I’ll do it.”

“That’ll just egg them on.”

He kissed your wet cheek. Pulling back, you could see the color return to his face as he smiled. “I could always pull an Ozzy.”

That got a giggle out of you, a few snot bubbles awkwardly falling down your lips. Eddie didn’t mind, simply grabbing a tissue to help wipe it away.

“Absolutely do not do that,” you said with a sigh, grabbing another one.

“Then I won’t. But I’m here in front of you. I want you. I need you.”

You nodded, your eyes glassy and wild as you tried to stop crying.

“Alright, babe?” he exaggerated, imitating Mikey Day. “I’m metal as hell, babe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. It was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. You looked up at him, watching a playful grin meet his lips.

“Oh, yeah, babe,” you played along, still wiping your tears. “You’re sooooo hot, babe.”

Eddie nearly suffocated you with another hug, rapidly kissing the top of your head. You couldn’t help but giggle again, feeling some weight lifting off of you. For the first time, you had someone in your life who was blocking out the noise.

“You know, the jokes aren’t even funny,” he said. “I don’t know why they’re making fun of a right-handed guitar. Jimi Hendrix had one and that guy’s a legend.”

“I think the point was to make you look dumb by playing it upside down.”

“Mmmm, I don’t think so, babe,” he teased. “I’m, like, sooooo smart.”

“You’re soooo right, babe.” “Okay, I’m cutting us off. I just know we won’t stop talking like this.”

The laughter died out, silence ensuing. Eddie was fiddling with your bracelets, his touch settling the storm in your stomach.

“Why did you walk over to that girl?”

You thought about her, Caroline, and how she was the only one outside to ask if you were okay. All she wanted was to give you bracelets. Had been keeping them with her just in case she ever saw you. Fuck, if that wasn’t one of the most shocking things you’d ever heard from a fan. It was kind. And when she did see you, she cared more about how you were feeling.

“She asked me why I was crying,” you said. “She actually cared. It meant something to me.”

“You really love the fans, don’t you?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

The night seemed to settle into comfortable silliness, ending with pints of Ben & Jerry’s and the start of another TV show for you two to binge. You settled into his side with fuzzy socks and old pajamas from before all of the bullshit ensued. They were probably ten years old, from the thrift store down the street from your childhood home. The hand-me-downs that never seemed to get holes, the ones that always seemed to save you from the brink of madness.

Eddie was donning a similar outfit, just with a few holes here and there. Baseball tee with a logo for his old D&D group, Hellfire Club, back in high school. Some of the lines were starting to crack, the red fading into something nearly blood orange.

It was comforting to know that Eddie was able to shrug it all off. That he was able to guide you through this fear and loathing. But some part of you wondered how long that could last. All the heat and dismissal and scrutiny and humiliation. All the assumptions and poking.

Because if he wanted to do this, if he was in it for the long haul, this was going to be how it was for the rest of your careers, for the rest of your lives. He wasn’t going to be able to shrug everything off. What happens when he’s poked at? When he’s the one in your shoes?

And as you laid there at 2am with Eddie fast asleep next to you, you were starting to wonder about yourself. Because if you wanted to do this, if you wanted to follow wherever he led, you were going to have to endure. Watching him sleeping soundly, you couldn’t help but wonder how long you could last.

#Eddie munson #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie x reader #Eddie Munson x female reader #boyfriend!eddie munson

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fuwushiguro · 10 months

Text

I. NEW ME!

CHAPTER SUMMARY : after a year out of the spotlight following a traumatic event, you’re about to take your first step back into it on a popular talk show. your whole team is counting on you to be perfect; but nobody is seeking perfection more than you.

WARNINGS : 18+ only, past trauma, mental health struggles, alcohol.

WORDS : 2.3k.

notes: loosely based off ‘The Idol’ which we all know is trash but I wanted to make my own (and hopefully more entertaining) version!

MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER

“Are you sure about this? I know you feel like you’re gonna let everyone down if you don’t start putting yourself out there again, but—”

“Yuuji.” you interrupt him, grabbing his hand and smiling at him. There’s not a single ounce of sincerity in it. And if there’s anyone who’s going to notice, it’s Yuuji. He knows you better than you know yourself. “It’s fine, really.” you do your best to assure him.

The crushing weight of disappointing your entire team is heavy on your shoulders. As much as you’d like to run away, to hide, to cry… you stand firm.

“Alright…” he sighs, returning your insincere smile right back to you. He’s worried, of course he’s worried. But Lord knows you don’t need him putting any doubts in your mind, not now. You’re doing that enough for yourself. What you need now is positivity. Faith and belief that despite what you’ve been through, you can do this.

“Okay, two minutes to go, are you ready?” your manager, Taylor, asks you quickly. Before you can answer, there are more words spilling from her lips like it’s out of her control. “We love you, but please do not fuck this up.” she reminds you before walking away to tend to something else.

Your eyes turn glossy as your cheeks fill with air. You quickly exhale as you fan yourself, doing all you can to make sure the sudden appearance of some tears won’t roll over your lashline and ruin your makeup.

Just then, Yuuji grabs you by the shoulders, forcing you to face him.

“Listen to me.” he starts. “You’ve got this.”

You’ve been locked in your bedroom with a bottle of champagne since the interview. It went well, apparently, according to your team. And yet… for some reason, you feel dead inside. The sounds of cheers and celebrations can be heard throughout the house, and all you can do is drink your champagne directly from the bottle.

“Hey… can I come in?” you hear Yuuji ask sweetly from the other side of the door. You get up, walking to unlock the door and let him in. Your smile finally finds its way back to your face when you see him holding a pizza box. “Getting a pizza through here in one piece with a house full of drunk people shoulder be a new Olympic sport.” he grins and laughs a little.

“Very impressive, Yuuji.” you agree with him, you wait for him to enter and then quickly lock the door behind him. “I don’t actually remember agreeing to a party?” you confess.

“Taylor mentioned it. And… well, you know Taylor.” he reminds you. “Everyone thought it would look good for some reason… not sure if I agree with that but they never listen to me anyway.”

“Or me.” you chuckle, taking a slice as you sit beside him on top of the bed. “I’ve been watching the interview on repeat…” you go to grab the remote, but he takes it first.

He presses play, settling comfortably against the headboard as he pulls a slice for himself. You get close to him, he’s always so warm. And when you’re always so cold, it’s nice to be with him, despite the fact it always ends up in sibling-like fights when you press your freezing feet against him to make him jump. Though it isn’t on your mind right now. You’re worn out, defeated, and you can’t believe he actually wants to watch this.

You weren’t embarrassed to watch yourself when you were alone. It was more like analysis. Seeing what you did right and what you could improve on. The pressure of being perfect is enough to drive anyone insane. But after this, after everything, you know you have no choice but to be perfect.

The sound of your voice carries through the room as you laugh with the host as you talk. Yuuji is smiling softly as he observes, like he’s proud of you.

“You’ve got a new movie coming up, right?”

“Uh… yeah! Kinda, we’re starting filming in two weeks.” you smiled, and it was genuine. You were lapping up the way that the audience cheered at each and every word you said. Whether it be sincere or out of pity, it didn’t matter. You felt truly adored after worrying no one would remember you.

“You’re working alongside some big names, I’m sure you’re excited! Tell me a little about the movie.”

“Yeah, right! I’m the lead but I’m working with Megumi Fushiguro…” you pause perfectly to allow the audience to cheer at the name drop. There are a few wolf whistles too. “We’ve worked together before; I love working with him because he’s so talented and nice. He’s always super serious on set but between takes he’s a total sweetheart.” you giggled as you reminisce on the last film you worked on together.

“I love Megumi too we’ve had him on the show a few times.” the host smiled, agreeing. “Now I do recall dating rumours for you two…” they announced and looked to the audience, earning a slew of ‘oooh’s’ and laughter. You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“No comment.” you wink, “No, but seriously, I’m focused on my career right now and I know Megumi is too. We’re professionals!” you laughed.

“Alright, alright.” The host laughed too. “The movie’s called ‘Assemble’, leaves a lot to the imagination, wanna tell me more about it?”

“Sure! It’s a horror, which is new for me. I know a lot of people don’t take horrors seriously, but I’ve always wanted to be a scream queen and I’m really excited to sink my teeth into a role like this. I don’t wanna say too much; I don’t think I’m allowed.” you laughed a little more awkwardly to try and placate the host and the audience.

“A horror, wow! I wouldn’t have expected that after what you went through last year.” the host spoke so casually. And at that moment, you think everyone watching could feel the way the air knocked out of your lungs. You began to fiddle with your fingers and look down at your lap as you considered what you should say.

You had never felt so small.

Not since it happened.

“Um… y-yeah. I mean… Like I said I’ve— I’ve wanted to do a horror for a long time. And things lined up well.” you nodded. “We have a great director and script. An amazing cast who I can’t wait to work with… It’s gonna be something special. I can feel it.” you told them, and the silence lasted a beat longer than you wanted it to, you couldn’t help but continue to speak. “I don’t want what happened to define me… It’s hard to talk about even though it was a year ago. But I’m more than what happened to me. I’m not the same person anymore, but I’m looking forward to learning who the new me is.”

You sniffle, hearing yourself say that. Really hearing it. You’ve played the clip so many times but that is the first time you’ve really heard yourself. It sounds so much more gallant than it really is. Because in truth, you’d go back to the old you in a heartbeat. You’d love the option to rewind to last year and change everything that happened.

Of course Yuuji noticed you starting to cry instantly, pausing the TV and putting an arm around you.

“I know you’re still struggling… maybe you should try therapy again.” he suggests.

“Maybe,” you sniff. “I just think it’s like… survivors’ guilt?” you tell him. “And I miss my dad so much. If I could trade places—”

“Don’t do that.” he chastises you. “I wish none of it happened, b-but… it did. And you’re doing great and I’m proud of you. And I know you don’t think so, but you crushed that interview.” he assures you. You smile at him, melting into his arms.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Yuuji.”

“Yeah, you’d never find another assistant as hard-working and good looking as me. You’d be doomed.” he grins, laughing a little as he speaks. You join in, finally deciding to wipe your tears and pull yourself together. “Let’s watch something else. Something… fun.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

You wake up the next morning, alone in the bed. Yuuji has tidied the room already and he’s opening your curtains for you. He laughs as you groan, the light burning your retinas. You sit up as you rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“Morning…” you grumble.

“Hey, I slept in my room by the way, don’t worry.” he tells you. “Everyone’s downstairs.”

“I’ve been off for a year and it wasn’t enough rest to prepare me for these hectic days again.” you sigh. “I didn’t know I had stuff to do today…”

“Uh… yeah, we’re doing a photoshoot here this afternoon. Makeup is coming in… an hour. Same with wardrobe, I think.” he tries to remember. “I left my phone in my room but I’ll go get it, Taylor wants you downstairs, like, now.” he reminds you.

You manage to pull yourself out of bed and put on a robe over the mismatched bra and panties you fell asleep wearing. The sight of you hungover and imperfect makes Taylor sigh as you come down the stairs. “You look gorgeous. Come sit.” she speaks, though you know she thinks otherwise. You slowly approach and she guides you outside to sit on the patio with her and the rest of your team.

“We want you to know how happy we are with your interview yesterday. It was perfect, really perfect.” your publicist tells you, making sure to butter you up as much as he can before moving on. “This is just the start though so we need to make sure it’s full steam ahead from now on.”

“You’re doing a shoot for Elle here this afternoon. You’ll get to show off the new place, talk a little about your recovery blah blah you know the deal.” Taylor speaks rapidly. “We just want you to know we’re all here for you for whatever you need to get through this transition back into the spotlight. It’s gonna be tough but we know you can do it.” she assures you.

“Thanks.”

“We all know perfection isn’t real, but, as close as you can get to it would be… well, perfect.” she adds. “So we’ll go over what you can and can’t discuss before the interview and—”

“Anyone order a big ass bouquet of flowers?” Yuuji shouts from inside, his voice booming through the house and out to the patio. Everyone stares as he signs for them and brings them from the front door all the way to you. He puts them down in front of you so that you can read the card.

Welcome back — love M x

You smirk as you keep the card close to your chest. Everyone is waiting with bated breath to hear who they’re from so the conversation can be over and they can get back to preparing you for this afternoon.

“I need to use the bathroom… don’t stop on my account.” you smile as you stand up. You pick up the flowers and hurry inside before anyone can object.

“Who were they from, Yuuji?” Taylor asks, which only earns him a shrug in return.

The house is full of liars on days like this. Taylor lied about you looking gorgeous just as easily as you lied about needing the bathroom. But neither of you are as good at lying as Yuuji. He knew damn well the flowers were from Megumi.

He just thinks you deserve a little time for yourself.

You don’t care that everyone can see you inside leaning against the bar in your lounge as the FaceTime dial rings and rings. There’s a real smile on your face that you cannot seem to wipe off your face as you gush over the fact he sent you flowers. The biggest bunch of flowers you’ve ever seen.

“Hey you.” he smiles, shirtless in his bed as he answers. The sharpness of his jaw and his pronounced collarbones remind you just how handsome he really is. “It’s been a little while, you okay?”

“I just got your flowers…” you tell him as you show him. “They’re stunning, thank you.”

“No problem, I saw your interview. How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I’m good, yeah. Getting lots of praise so I can’t complain.” you nod, leaning on the bar again. “I didn’t get you in any trouble for what I said, did I?” you wonder, he shakes his head which is a huge relief.

“It was just a joke so, no, no trouble at all. I was in London for a week, but I’m back now. I’m in a hotel.”

“Oh, really? Why aren’t you at your place?” you ask, curiously.

“I was gonna go home but I got warned there was paparazzi waiting for me, so I came here.” he explains. “I was thinking you could come over and run lines with me later.” he smirks as he gets out of bed. He’s walking, and you realise when he switches on a light he’s in the bathroom.

You can’t help but smirk, too, knowing what running lines will likely lead to.

“Um… I’m pretty busy today.”

“That’s a shame. I’m sure you can make the time since we’re both professionals.” he tells you as he turns on the shower. He always finds a way to make you smile. And knowing he really watched your interview is making you grin from ear to ear.

“Well, I guess I can make some time tonight.” you reply, giggling as you see his cheeks flush a little red at your answer.

“Good. Good girl, then I’ll see you tonight.”

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