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#none of these feel so bitchy they need to go in the bitchy opinions tag but just in case i think i'll
veliseraptor · 2 months
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Top five spiciest untamed opinions!
man, I've been in my own little corner of fandom for long enough that I feel like I struggle a little to parse what is spicy of my opinions and what isn't, but here's a go at it
The Untamed is a show with complex, morally grey characters that's telling a slightly different but not inherently inferior story. Maybe I'm just a bit defensive about this, and I have with time come to appreciate a lot of things about the novel over the way they play out in the show, but The Untamed was the first version of the story that I fell in love with and I think at least some of the criticisms of it overstate the degree to which it morally simplifies the story. I think, whether because of requirements of censorship or other reasons, that the moral messiness of the story is subtler, I don't think it's absent, and while Jin Guangyao in particular falls victim to a pretty intense villain edit the narrative still has plenty of sympathy for him (even if the audience, all too often, does not). I think it's telling a slightly different story (as others have discussed), but I think it's a strong adaptation that still works with the underlying themes of the text.
However, that being said, The lessening of Wei Wuxian's culpability, as in the introduction of the second flautist, weakens his character. I feel like the character of Wei Wuxian as we see him in The Untamed still has the recognizable flaws of the character from the novel - I think the degree to which they're sometimes claimed to be toned down is overstated, which I think I've written some about before. He's still at least a little arrogant, causes problems, has a definite temper, and doesn't always respect other peoples' choices, among other things. But what The Untamed does do is remove some of his culpability, or at least temper it - both for Jin Zixuan's death and the massacre at Nightless City, which are two moments that contribute to a strong tragic arc in the first life, which makes for a more powerful (imo) arc in the second life. Removing, or at least lessening, Wei Wuxian's culpability for Jin Zixuan's death and Jiang Yanli's death makes him more a victim of circumstance than of his own human flaws, and at least for me, a character who is doomed by their own flaws is a far more compelling one than one who just happens to fall victim to outside forces. It makes him, I would argue, more passive and less of an active force, and I think the culpability for those two deaths - and the loss of control that causes it - makes for a more powerful narrative than that of a man who is victimized by someone else's actions.
Jin Guangyao was a good Chief Cultivator. I see people talk about him as though he was corrupt and evil and just plotting all the time, but the Bad Things™ he does mostly happen before his tenure as Chief Cultivator and, even taking those into account, have a limited impact on the world at large (with the exception of Nie Mingjue's death, but even that I would argue has more personal repercussions than broader political ones). As far as his responsibility for the cultivation world at large, we have no evidence prior to his downfall that he is negatively perceived by people, except for the fact of his birth/origins.
this is more MDZS-related than Untamed specific, but: MXTX deserves praise for writing "problematic" and messy queer sex, but it's just not hot. I don't have a whole lot to add on this one, but one of my least favorite parts of some corners of The Untamed fandom are people who are thoroughgoing MXTX antis who are quick to cry about the ~problematic~ aspects of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian's sex life (which, honestly, I think are overstated a lot of the time, as is the weirdness of the sex scenes); however, in my opinion, the sex scenes as they stand just aren't very sexy, and I don't think that's intentional (as it arguably is in SVSSS). The sex scenes may be a shortcoming in the text, perhaps, but not the one certain people think it is.
this is again a stronger argument in the novel but I think it's present in the show as well: Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian are "there but for the grace of god" foils, but not in the sense of Jin Guangyao being "Wei Wuxian if he made bad moral choices" but in the sense of "who Wei Wuxian could've been if his circumstances were different." I've definitely written about this before and how much it drives me nuts the way people treat narrative foils in this story in general as Goofus and Gallant style duos, but this is a specific one. I think Jin Guangyao is an example of a story that runs alongside Wei Wuxian's, but ends in a different place, and I think the story isn't saying that he ends in that place because of something inherently worse about Jin Guangyao, but because of the way his circumstances happen to diverge from Wei Wuxian's in specific key ways. In some ways his ending is even a near beat-for-beat rewrite of Wei Wuxian's death, and Wei Wuxian receives the grace of a second life not because of any inherent merit, but actually because of his bad reputation. I think this goes for Xue Yang, too, actually.
I absolutely know I'm forgetting things and there are probably things back in my bitchy opinions tag that I could dig out, but here's at least a few that came to mind.
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jeontaeil-archived · 3 years
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Greenlight //
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Pairing: Beomgyu x Fem!Reader
Genre: Smut. Some Fluff, Male Receiving, Fem Receiving, Unprotected Sex.
Words: 2.7k+
Warnings: 18+ content.
Tagging: @hoehousenet @kdiarynet @chwe-yeeun @hoe2z @jayvoir @giveortake @lqsience @choijwiss @jisungismymom @rosiehoon
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Beomgyu constantly flirts with you, while all you do is play hard to get. He likes you and you like him, but things have never progressed from there. So what happens when Beomgyu finally decides to take things to the next level? Are you willing to give him the green light or not?
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Your close friend Jay had invited you over to his place to play some video games. You both had been at it for hours and decided to take a small break before continuing. While taking said break, Jay ended up falling asleep in his chair, leaving you sitting around in his room awkwardly with nothing to do. Now that your mind wasn't focused on your games, you realised how thirsty were. Not wanting to wake Jay, you left his room and ventured towards the kitchen. You had no idea where anything was. All you needed was one glass. If you tried, you figured it wouldn't be that hard to find. So you looked around in the cupboards, eyes brightening when you finally found them. You had to reach up on your tippy toes, but even then, your fingers barely grazed over the glasses. And then, out of nowhere, you felt someone push you into the counter from behind, reaching up over your head to easily retrieve a glass. It didn't take you long to realise who the sneaky being was.
It was Beomgyu. Jay's roommate. You didn't know much about him other than the fact that he was a shameless flirt who sat at home all day doing god knows what in his room. He was always holed up in there and the only time he'd come out is if he needed something from the kitchen or if you'd come over.
Beomgyu loved teasing you. It was fun and he enjoyed the playful banters you both engaged in. Beomgyu was into you and he hadn't hesitated to let you know. You were totally his type, confident and cool. In your eyes, Beomgyu was a pretty decent individual. He looked good and was fun to be around, though you acted like he was a pain in the ass. But he was your friend's roommate and you still didn't know him well enough to really be able to initiate anything with him. Plus you knew that Jay would always 'forbid' it, not wanting to potentially end up becoming a third wheel between you both.
"You didn't even tell me you were coming around.", Beomgyu pouted, filling the glass he'd taken for you with water. You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest. "I thought jay might've let you know. Besides, it’s not like I have your number or anything."
Beomgyu took a sip from the glass before passing it to you. You grimaced but chugged the water down nonetheless. "We could take care of that don't you think?", he said, raising his brow indicatively. You set the glass down on the counter behind you. "Nope. I don't think so. I've reached the geezer limit in my contact list. There's no space for your number."
Beomgyu was the one to let out an amused scoff at your comment this time. "Geezer limit.", he repeated, smiling to himself at the minor insult. "Well that's a bummer." he frowned and bit the inside of his lip. "Wanna go to my room?"
You laughed airily at his proposition. Way to change the topic. Props to him for that. Pushing yourself off the counter, you walked past him and went back down the hall. "Hurry up before I change my mind.", you called, entering his bedroom which was the one opposite to Jay's. He walked in behind you, shutting the door behind himself. You raised a brow at this.
"Why'd you close the door?"
Beomgyu grinned, turning the lock while he was at it. "No reason. Why? Does it make you nervous?"
You knew what he was doing. Unfortunately for him, you weren't going to give in so soon. Shaking your head, you plopped down on his bed. "I'm fine with it. I just thought you'd have a hard time controlling yourself, nothing else."
Beomgyu smirked at your words and stood against the wall. "Don't worry about me y/n. You aren't only girl I've had in here behind closed doors."
You wouldn't lie, his retort had you impressed. He was a natural flirt. You admired that. It was an attractive characteristic in your opinion.
"Oh really? Is that so? You wouldn't mind telling me a bit about them would you then?"
Beomgyu gestured for you to move over as he came and took a seat beside you. You scooted up his bed, leaning against his headboard. Beomgyu laid down before you, propping himself up on his elbow. "Firstly, I'd like to say that none of them have ever been as hot as you."
He was sucking up to you. Smiling at his compliment, you motioned for him to continue. "Secondly, I'm no narcissist, but I've never gotten a bad review once. They always enjoy how I make them feel. They thrive in it and hope that it never comes to an end. So I guess it kinda sucks for them considering I'm a one time over type of guy."
You snickered to yourself. "So what you're telling me, is that you're basically a sex god?"
Beomgyu nodded triumphantly. "I try to be humble about it, so you didn't hear that from me okay?"
You gave him a thumbs up, pretending to seal your lips. It was quiet between you two for a while. You just stared at each other, small smiles on your faces. Beomgyu seemed to be thinking about something. You could tell by the way his eyes kept wavering between your own. "Wanna fuck?"
Your smile fell, eyes widening in disbelief. You couldn't believe he'd just said that. You gasped, face heating up at the bluntness of his words. The way he'd said it, as if he were simply asking you to help him do his laundry or something had caught you off guard. He was so straightforward and for what?
"Just say yes or no. I won't start anything if you don't want to. We can just, do something else if that's the case.", he assured you, not a sign of panic or regret in his expression. His calmness made you feel like you were overreacting. Why couldn't you be so nonchalant like him. He made it seem so easy. You envied that. Beomgyu laughed at your flustered state and sat up. "Why so shy princess? Don't wanna be bitchy now?"
Your cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red. He was on fire today. Never once had you felt so timid because of him. And now that you were, you had no clue what to do. Beomgyu shifted over to you, trapping you between himself and the headboard. He tossed the pillow on your lap to the side and replaced it with his hand. You could've escaped from the side, but you didn't. You were lowkey eager to see what he did next. "Tell me what you want y/n. I swear your wish is my command."
Beomgyu's voice was laced with desire. He was so close to getting what he wanted. All you had to do was give him the green light. 
You refused to look at him. You felt so vulnerable and you couldn't even think straight because of his proximity. "Look at me princess. Give me an answer.", he urged, squeezing your thigh gently. A soft moan escaped you at his touch. Beomgyu smirked and trailed his hands higher up your thigh. He leaned into you, lips ghosting over your ear. "Yes or no y/n? We haven't got all day. Jay's gonna wake up any time now so if you want this, just say yes."
You placed your hand atop his, taking a deep breath. "I don't know Beomgyu. Jay wouldn't like it." you could barely form coherent words. Beomgyu hummed, displeased. He twirled your hair around his finger. "I didn't ask about Jay though, did I? I want to know what you want." You wanted to say yes, but you were nervous. The tension between you both was only now making you realise just how much you were attracted to him. So much that you were certain you had feelings for him. Since you'd never given much thought to it, it had never occurred to you before. But now you were afraid he didn't feel the same way. Yes, he had admitted that he liked you, but you weren't sure if he was being serious or simply joking around like he always did with you. Maybe he just wanted to get in your pants. After all, he was the one who said it would only be a one time thing. Now that was something you didn't want. 
"Talk me through whatever's going on in your mind right now. Maybe I can help you out.", he suggested. He didn't sound impatient. He was willing to give you time even though that contradicted what he'd previously said to you, and you appreciated that. It helped you calm down a bit. You shrugged. "I'm not sure Beomgyu. I think I like you. but I don't know if that's just because of the way you're talking to me right now or if its because I haven't thought about it before. I'm confused."
Beomgyu laughed softly. He nodded and tucked your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek. He made you look at him. "I like you too y/n. And I know I've told you this before, but I'll tell you again. I'm not just saying this so that you'll have sex with me. I genuinely really want to be with you. Its kinda cheesy coming from me, but its true.", he admitted, laughing at his own words. It was a complete 180 from his usual flirtatious self. His eyes were sincere. 
You nodded, unable to contain your smile. This was such an odd moment for you both. You'd never confessed to someone in such a heartfelt manner ever before and neither had Beomgyu. "Well isn't this cute.", he commented, giving you a smile you'd never seen before. He was happy, as were you. "So," you began, trailing a finger up his arm. Beomgyu's eyes followed your hand. He bit his lip, containing his smile. "You wanna get on with it?"
Both of you tried your best not to laugh. "Tell me Beomgyu. Yes or no? I swear I won't do anything if you say no." you mimicked his words. Beomgyu broke into a smile, crashing his lips onto yours cheerfully. 
Humming against his mouth, you threw your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down on you. Beomgyu melted into your body, kissing you earnestly. His hand slipped up your shirt, resting at your side. His touch was enticing. You found yourself guiding his hand upward, placing it on the curve of your breast instead. Beomgyu smiled against your lips, pulling away from you to place wet kisses on your neck and jaw. His thumb brushed over your nipple, feeling it harden underneath the material of your bra. You let out breathy moans, turning your neck to the side to give him more space. Beomgyu swiftly popped open your bra's hook, pushing his hand underneath the garment. He squeezed your breast, just as he had your thigh, groaning as your back arched against his body. 
Beomgyu sat up, peeling his shirt off and tossed it to the side. You did the same, discarding your bra along with it. Beomgyu smirked as he took in the sight of your bare upper body, licking his lips in anticipation. He'd always found you hot, but you were really exceeding his expectations now. Starting to get impatient with his intense and shameless stares, you pushed him down on the mattress and straddled his lap. Beomgyu's hands shot to your thighs as you leaned down to kiss his neck. You ran your tongue over his shoulder blades, grinding your hips down on his crotch. His palms kneaded the skin of your thighs, breaths getting heavier and heavier as your kisses got more proactive. You could feel his member hardening underneath you, the sensation making wetness pool into your panties. You began kissing down his chest, looking up at him from your lashes. He was loving the sight. It was sexier than anything he'd ever imagined before. You tugged his pants and boxers down in one quick motion gasping at the size of his length. Beomgyu whined, kicking his pants onto the floor. 
You took his cock in your hand, pumping it slowly. Beomgyu bit his lip, watching you with keen eyes. You circled your thumb over his tip, leaning down to press a soft kiss on it. Beomgyu sucked in a breath. Licking his tip, you wrapped your lips around him, running your tongue over his cock. He balled his fists, not wanting to interfere. Taking more of his length in your mouth, you began bobbing your head, not too slow, but not too fast. He cursed under his breath. Gosh if felt so good. He could tell you knew what you were doing and he was glad that you did it well. "Fuck, princess, it feels so nice.", he praised, trying his best not to buck his hips into your mouth. He swore he was going to cum if you kept it up. You unexpectedly released his cock, pumping it as you signally for him to get up. "If you wanna finish you've gotta return the favour baby boy."
Beomgyu growled at the nickname. "That's so fucking hot of you.", he murmured, pushing you down on your back. "Say no more mommy." he ripped your pants off of you, tugging your panties down your legs soon after. Settling between your legs, he pried your thighs apart, marvelling at the sight in front of him. He licked a stripe up your pussy, groaning at the sweet taste on his tongue. Without wasting a second, he dove into your folds, wrapping his lips around your clit. Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging at his roots every time his teeth grazed over the sensitive bundle of nerves. His tongue felt so amazing. He hadn't been lying when he said he was good at what he did. Beomgyu pushed two fingers into your needy hole, pumping them in and out of you at a steady pace. His tongue flicked at your clit ravenously. He'd been dreaming about this for months. 
"Fuck, Gyu- I'm gonna cum.", you warned after a while, moaning loudly thereafter. Beomgyu reluctantly rose from your cunt and wiped your arousal off his chin. "Not so soon princess. You're gonna finish on my cock.", he seethed, rubbing his tip along your slit. You spread your legs wider, eyes screwing shut as he pushed himself into you. "You're so fucking tight.", he muttered, bucking his hips into you. He'd barely started yet he was hitting all the right places. He hovered over your body, jaw clenched in concentration. Your needy moans only encouraged him to fuck you harder. "Oh my god Beomgyu!", you exclaimed, holding onto his shoulders. "You feel so good princess.", he groaned, raising your knee to your chest, he pushed his cock deeper into you. He could tell you were close. Luckily, so was he. He continued slamming his cock into your walls, wanting nothing more than to see your face as you came undone over his cock. And then, you finally did. 
He felt your walls clench around his cock. Your back arched off the bed, eyes rolling back as your orgasm crashed over you. Your fingers dug into his skin as your basked in the pleasure he gave you. The sight itself set him off, making his cock twitch inside you. Beomgyu was quick to pull out of you, emptying his cum over your pussy and thighs instead. It was a mesmerising sight. "Well that was certainly a nice way to inaugurate our relationship wasn't it?" Beomgyu concluded. He fell next to you, pulling you into his side as he draped the covers over your naked body. You smiled and kissed his cheek, wrapping an arm around his waist.
You heard a knock on the door, followed by the sound of someone clearing their throat. It was Jay. "If you guys are done I just wanted to let y/n know that we've got a tournament in five minutes."
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dilly-oh · 4 years
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Sleep With Me
Kakashi is woken up from a dead sleep at three in the morning by an urgent text from Genma. 
EMERGENCY!!, it says. He quickly sits up, a spike of panic shocking him fully awake as he’s dosed with adrenaline. He stares at his phone, anxiously waiting for the flashing dots to spell out: WE NEED CONDOMS, STAT!
Fucking Genma. He lies back down. 
Another text. YOU OWE ME FOR WATCHING THE DOGS.
...Fucking Genma. Kakashi gets up.
GET A BOX OF CONDOMS, Genma adds as Kakashi tugs on his boots. He shudders at the reasoning behind it. What the hell were he and Raido up to at three in the fucking morning, a sex marathon? Were they trying for the world record? Whatever, he just needs to stumble down the street to one of the nearby convenience stores and buy a box of condoms. Genma lives a few floors down so he can drop them off at the door before crawling back up the stairs and collapsing into his bed. His wonderfully soft, cozy bed.
He hopes it’ll still be warm by the time he gets back. 
It’s way past midnight and all the respectable convenience stores are closed, so Kakashi has to bite the bullet and settle on the least-skuzzy of all the skuzzy 24-hour shops, the one on the corner with the cracked window and perpetual smell of urine. There’s a hobo by the dumpster outside, but he’s busy arguing with a pigeon so Kakashi is able to sidle around him and approach the front entrance, a bell tinkling rather sadly above his head. The hum of the fluorescent lights should be added to the list of known torture methods, and Kakashi does his best to ignore the incessant buzz as he walks along the poorly-lit aisles, trying to find the item in question so he can leave before he catches something.
The condom section of this store is disturbingly well-stocked, and Kakashi spends a good five minutes uncertain on which brand and variety to buy. He has an internal debate on whether to buy ‘ribbed’ or ‘studded’, unsure of the difference or which Raido would prefer. He finally settles on one of the flavored variety, cherry, because who doesn’t like cherries, right? He grabs the box and heads to the front.
Standing in line with the other half-awake zombies, Kakashi yawns, his jaw creaking spectacularly. It really is late and he’s looking forward to kicking down Genma’s door, whipping the box of condoms at him, turning his phone off, and going the fuck back to sleep. He peeks impatiently over the shoulder of the man in front of him to see how close he is to the register-
Oh. God. Oh GOD.
The cashier is hot. He’s smoking hot and Kakashi hasn’t brushed his hair all day and has bad breath and bags under his eyes and a box of condoms in his hands.
OH GOD.
Long, luscious hair pulled back into a low ponytail, dark eyes with even darker lashes, and that TAN. Is it natural? Is he that toasty…all over? Fuck, he can see muscles flexing beneath his shirt when he moves, he’s fucking ripped. Abort. ABORT. There is absolutely no way Kakashi is going to greet this ethereal being of his wicked fantasies with a box of fucking condoms in his hands. But it’s already too late, the customer in front has been dealt with and the hot cashier has spotted him next in line and is waving him over, fuck, SHIT, he’s screwed. He’s made eye contact, there’s no backing out of this now. Fight or flight instincts take over, and Kakashi isn’t about to be arrested for stealing a box of condoms. Taking a deep breath, he strides forward with all the confidence he can muster and slaps the box of jumbo-sized, cherry-flavored condoms onto the counter, refusing to show any hint of shame.
The cashier (his name-tag reads ‘Iruka’ and is a million times hotter up close) looks down at the box, blinks, and looks back up at him.
“…So who are you buying these for?”
Kakashi’s brain shorts out for a moment.
Did he just… He wonders, his sleep-deprived brain slow in catching the veiled insult. Aloud, he answers, “I…they…they’re…for me. To wear when I- you know. With...you know.” He trails off lamely, wondering if he should attempt to elaborate more or just die right here.
“I’d rather not, actually.” ‘Iruka’ eyes him for another beat, then picks up the box, frowning at it. “You know, I’m pretty sure we have extra small on the shelf back there, too,” he suggests. “Might be a snugger fit.”
“No, thank you,” Kakashi replies, struggling to maintain a modicum of politeness. Because, you know, hot cashier. Though he is being a bit of a dick.
“Alright, just remember there’s a thirty-day return policy. I’m sure you’ll be needing it.”
Okay, scratch that. He’s being a huge dick.
If this guy wasn’t such a fox I’d pop him one, Kakashi thinks to himself, fuming inwardly. …Instead of popping one-
Finally moving on, Iruka swipes the box over the scanner with no reaction.
“Huh.” He frowns and tries again. Still no beep. “That’s funny. Just a sec.” He leans over towards a small, black object-
Oh God. Please no.
“PRICE CHECK ON THE JUMBO-SIZED CONDOMS,” Iruka says into the microphone, his distorted voice blaring through the store for all to hear. “CHERRY FLAVORED-”
Kakashi lunges forward and grabs the mic, the feed cutting off with a high-pitched squeal.
“Do you really have to-” he hisses out.
“If you want your cough-syrup flavored DICK, YES,” Iruka hisses back, yanking the microphone away from him.
“Hey, I like cherry!”
“Cherry is disgusting. Your opinion doesn’t matter.”
“Okay, dude, you’re being really rude to me for no reason-”
“No reason?!” The cashier all but bares his teeth at him. “I could feel you eyeing me from across the store! Don’t you think I get enough of that from the rest of the creeps?”
...He has a point there. 
“Look, I’m sorry, it’s not like I asked for your number-”
“Good, because the only numbers you’re getting from me is on your receipt,” Iruka snaps, shoving his purchase in a plastic bag. “That’ll be $19.86.”
“Okay, fine, Christ,” Kakashi takes out a twenty and whips it at his head. “Keep the change.” He snatches up the condoms and storms out of the store. The hobo is still there by the dumpster, babbling on. Kakashi stops, fishes in his pocket for a moment, and hands the man a five.
“Here, have a better night than me,” he bites out. The hobo gasps with delight as he takes the crumpled bill, eyes going wide.
“We feast tonight, Fitzgerald!” he cackles, grinning at the pigeon, which is now perched on his knee and cooing.
Kakashi starts down the street, the bag of condoms bumping against his knee with every angry stride.
“Hey!” A voice barks out from behind him, but he ignores it, intent on sulking. “Hey, you! Cherry dick!” Kakashi stops and looks back.
The hot cashier is running down the road after him, breath steaming in the night. He catches up, panting lightly, his cheeks flushed from the cold as much as the run. He glances up to meet Kakashi’s gaze. 
“…Hey,” Iruka says quietly, flashing him an apologetic look before dropping his eyes to the ground. “Um.” He fiddles with the zipper on his jacket for a moment. “I just got off, and… look, man, I’m sorry about back there. I didn’t mean to be such an asshole. It’s just…I was late this morning cuz my car wouldn’t start, and then my stupid co-worker ditched me so I had to work a double shift, and when I’m tired I get bitchy. Like...real bitchy. I’m...really sorry.” He groans in exhaustion, reaching up to free his hair from its constricting ponytail, scrubbing his scalp with relief. It’s an endearing action that cools Kakashi’s irritation and heats up other things. “I mean, it’s past midnight, for God’s sake. Who’s still up at this hour? I just wanna go home and pass the fuck out in bed.”
Kakashi knows exactly what that’s like.
“I’ve been there,” he says. “It’s fine. Sorry for...ogling you.”
“S’okay.” Iruka looks up at him, hopeful and shy. “Listen. Maybe we could…try this again? During the daytime, when we’re both fully rested?”
“Sounds like a great idea,” Kakashi replies, his voice completely calm while his brain is a litany of high-pitched screeches.
“Yeah?” Iruka’s whole face lights up, and holy FUCK he’s a billion times hotter when he’s smiling. Dear God. How is he going to survive this? He'll probably die when he sees him in the light of day. “Are you free tomorrow? For lunch?”
“Make it a late lunch,” Kakashi agrees, nodding. “I’ll probably sleep in.”
“God, me too,” Iruka snorts, and even that’s hot. “There’s this nice cafe that- oh, wait.” His face drops. “Those, um, cough-syrup- I mean, cherry-flavored condoms…are they for… anyone special?”
Anyone special? What is he talking abo- Oh. Ohhhh.
“They aren’t for me,” Kakashi explains quickly. “I was...there isn’t…I’m not…” He shrugs helplessly. “I’m just doing a favor for a friend.”
“...A friend who needs a box of condoms at three in the morning?”
“Don’t ask.”
“I won’t.” Iruka lets out a long sigh and rubs his eyes wearily. “Anyway, I need to be heading home. Ugh, it’s gonna take, like, an hour to walk back to my apartment, none of the buses run this late and I don’t have the cash for a cab. Maybe if I hurry I can-”
“Sleep with me,” Kakashi blurts out before he can stop himself. He can almost see Iruka’s hackles go up. “I mean, like, actual sleeping, no sex stuff. Not that I wouldn’t want to do that with you, you’re fucking gorgeous, it’s just I’m way too tired-” He cuts off his babbling, unsettled by Iruka’s stoney silence. “I’m just saying I live, like, five minutes away and I thought since it’s closer, maybe you’d appreciate-” Iruka’s still not talking. He’s probably about to kick Kakashi in the dick and run. “I, uh, promise I’m not an ax murderer or anything. You can take a pic of me and send it to your friends to let them know you’re sleeping with me-”
“I’m sure they won’t at all take that the wrong way,” Iruka states, finally speaking. He studies Kakashi for a moment longer. “...Yeah okay I’ll sleep with you. My standards are low enough right now.” He pauses to snicker. “Look at me, sleeping with a guy whose name I don’t even know. It’s like college all over again.”
“Oh, sorry. I’m Kakashi.”
“Iruka.”
“I know, I saw your name-tag. So, wait. You’re not worried I’ll try something?” he asks cautiously. Iruka scoffs.
“I know jiu-jitsu. Touch me and I’ll throw you through a wall.” 
That would explain the muscles. And Kakashi’s desire to be pinned by him. 
“I have eight dogs,” he warns.
“They’ll make excellent feet-warmers,” Iruka says dismissively. “Do you have good pillows? I’m a stickler for good pillows, I need the support for my neck, otherwise I get stiff shoulders.”
“I have a couple memory foam ones, plus a down comforter and some quilts-”
“Oh God, yes, talk dirty to me.”
“Anyway, I get the bed, you can have the couch.”
“Screw you, I just worked a double shift. I get the bed.”
“It smells like wet dog.”
“I babysit a five-year old. I’ve smelled worse.”
“Okay, fine. We share the bed, but I get the right side.”
“That’s not fair, I want the right side.”
“You can have the right side if you cook us breakfast tomorrow. Or lunch, rather. I’m not getting up till noon.”
“I’ll cook, but you have to clean up. Deal?”
“Deal.”
They shake on it, firmly sealing the agreement, and head off down the road together.
They don’t let go.
(Written for @kakairu-fest Nine Weeks of Summer, Week Two Prompt: Shop AU)
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My dog passed away today. 
She had been with us for fifteen years, two months and eleven days and had to be put to sleep today.
I know none here really cares and I apologize but I just really feel the need to write about her. I know it might be stupid.
We knew it was going to happen, she was a senior dog and she’s been sick for a few months now. I had read that the average lifespan for a Whippet is 12-15 years and she had crossed that treshold already. But I’ve also read that many had lived up to 16 or even 18 years old, so I was hoping for that I guess.
She was still going strong up until the last two days, when she stopped eating and she would never stop eating, as she was a glutton. 
She’d been crying almost non-stop yesterday, from a combination of pain, anxiety and confusion, we tried every medication, but nothing worked. And even if I kept telling myself that she would still make it, deep down I knew. 
I couldn’t even make the decision to put her to sleep, so my parents did it for me. I didn’t oppose to that.There was some screaming. I know that deep down it was the right thing to do, logically I know it but it hurts and I feel so guilty because what if she got better what if it’s not what she wanted.
We aren’t sure of what killed her but the vets are almost sure it was cancer in her brain and behind eye area. We should have had her have a scan to be sure or a biopsy but she was old and weakly, plus Whippets tend to be sensitive to anesthesia and it wasn’t worth the risk.
She was a fighter, she had neurological problems and had begun to lose control of her legs a bit, but she wasn’t in pain and could still move around. And if you tried to stop her, God she would be pissed. She still ate her meals happily, plus her treats and she wagged her tail when we brought her with us for Christmas at my grandma (don’t worry we didn’t violate any quarantine-related law). She was so happy. Tired but happy.
She was blind and couldn’t hear very well , but she knew exactly who you were, if someone had come over to visit (she had to say hi) or if there was food on the table.
She was very vocal, she would cry and annoy you if you didn’t pay attention to her and it was cuddle-time or if she wanted her blanket when it was time to sleep. 
She was the smallest and meekest of the bunch in her litter, when she was born, and grew up to remain small so much that people sometimes thought she was an Italian Greyhound. But she was so strong. She was bitchy, opinionated and a bit snobbish, but she loved with everything she had. She was sweet and delicate and soft. She was playful and intelligent. She knew a lot of tricks.
I miss her so much. We grew up together. I got her from my uncle (a vet) and aunt when I was around eight. It was the eighth of December and I was making the Christmas tree. I let her sniff every ornament before putting it on the tree.
She was a constant presence ever since.
Especially in these last 5 years ever since I had my mental breakdown and started to suffer of anxiety and panic disorder she’s been there. I remember when I was having a bad panic attack one day and she was sleeping in the other room and at some point she came to me while I couldn’t breathe and she started to kinda sniff me and cry at me. And I remember looking at her and it felt like she knew. When I got better she went back to sleep. 
But she was there when I needed her. She knew.
And now that she’s gone I don’t know how to function. I’ve always had her I don’t know if I can live normally without her.
I’ve been crying all day, I’m crying now typing. I spent hours looking up on google “accepting your pets death” “putting a pet to sleep” and read various articles and I searched the tag pet death here, which just shows how desperate I am I guess. 
Plus I feel pathetic and guilty because we had nothing but death in the past couple years and I cried more for my dog than for my aunt and I loved my aunt and I just don’t know what to do.
This evening I saw her the last time, I scratcher her neck and patted her head and I enjoyed seeing her ears go fluff, she would always flatten them to receive the pat and then spring them back up, I booped her nose one last time. I love doing that, she found it annoying, but a good annoying like what you do with your sister because yes, she was my sister.
She still licked me one last time a cuple of days ago, and even gave me a bath a couple days prior. She only did that to me.
I’m going to miss her
It doesn’t feel real, I think tomorrow I’ll wake up and it will sink in. to not having to check on her and not saying hi to her. I don’t know if I can function without her.
She’ll be buried at my grandpa’s house, where she loved to run around and challenge (and beat!) to race the German Shepard on the other side of the fence 
I’m going to miss her.
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musette22 · 4 years
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Hi Minnie! First of all, thank you for being so sweet, reasonable and respectful, I can't even describe how much joy your blog gives me! You are a true pro in emotional support for Evanstan fandom, so I guess I kinda need some reassurance. [1]
The thing is, as you probably know, some Seb stans on Twitter take the whole Chris insta situation and turn it into smth embarassing, like making fun of Seb and Mackie ignoring Chris and calling the idea of the challenge stupid (even though Chris did donate, not just "asked fans for money", as they say). It's like they feel the need to attack the first before smb calls they fav out. [2]
I know there ARE good people in Seb fandom, it's just that the aggressive ones are so loud and spread their bs so fast, I end up seeing it on my TL. No matter how stupid it sounds, it keeps making me sad to see so much hate towards Chris and his fans not from some random locals but from Seb stans. It's like two halves of my heart are torn apart. Not even ship-wise, it just seems so hard to love them both and be present on twitter these days. [3]
And, since I'm whiney af today, one more twitter thing: the CW promo era was some kind of honeymoon for us, sure, but I've recently seen some opinions on how Chris was all lovey-dovey and Seb was stiff and bored and uncomfortable, how their interviews were unnatural and boring. I mean, in my part of fandom (non-English speaking country) there has always been a popular perception of boys' dynamic as these "over-excited puppy playing around a confused cat" vids, if you know what I mean. [4]
But it kinda seemed ok for me, and the way they acted a little awkward around each other etc. Well, you can tell I'm easily affected cause now it does feel more negative to me. Stuuupid, I know. Maybe it's my "let's feel sorry for Chris and his fans" phase, idk. Sorry for bringing it here, you just seem to reassure people so well. [5 and last, it was long lol]
Hello my lovely!! This was indeed long hahaha but that’s totally fine, I myself am also someone who also has trouble keeping things short to I feel you 😘 
This is a very long reply so I’m putting it under the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!
Okay so first of all, let me say I was never a fan of Twitter, but everything I’ve heard lately has just lowered my opinion of it even further. I know there’s a lot of amazing stuff and brilliant folks on there as well, but it also seems to be where all the bitchy, hateful, entitled and inappropriate people congregate. So personally, I’m very happy with my little community on Tumblr when it comes to fandom, and for news and social media I prefer actual news outlets and instagram. The sad truth is that there are a lot of harmful and hateful opinions in the world, and as someone who struggles with anxiety, I try to find ways to avoid a lot of it. Especially the stuff I can’t do anything about (you can try to reason with most haters until you’re blue in the face, and 90% of the time it’s not going to make an ounce of difference). It’s much easier to curate your own experiences on platforms like Tumblr and even Instagram than it is on Twitter, or so I’ve gathered. So I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of helpful advice for you there apart from ‘maybe try and stay away from Twitter if you can’ which you probably don’t really want either...
As for the whole Seb vs Chris issue: it’s clearly completely ridiculous. There is no ground whatsoever to believe they’re at odds. At worst, they’re now just casual work friends, but there is no reason to believe there’s any bad blood. It’s interesting to consider that initially, the argument seemed to be they had fallen out and both disliked each other (no idea where that came from but sure), then it was that Chris didn’t like Sebastian (because he allegedly shaded him when he joked that Scarjo was the only one of his friends who came to see Lobby Hero), and then Chris got Instagram and tagged and followed Seb, but because Seb hasn’t responded to the challenge yet, he now apparently hates Chris. For what reason, god only knows, because only last year at MCM London (where I was present myself) Sebastian gushed about Chris and his experiences with him while filming the Cap movies, and lets not forget it was him who initiated the hug at the Endgame premiere. Long story short: they don’t dislike each other. They’re completely fine, people just like to make up drama for whatever reason.   
As for the Sebastian stans who hate Chris and vice vera: to be honest, I wasn’t even really aware it was an issue until recently, because I was under the naive impression that it was kind of impossible to love one but hate the other. Both of them are such amiable, sweet, thoughtful, funny, talented guys, and everyone who actually knows them adores them, so why on earth anyone could hate either of them is beyond me. But even if you do, I genuinely don’t understand this need to pit them against each other? Why? I think a lot of it is down to people just liking drama, or being actual 12 year-olds who still see the world in a kind of high school dynamic-way. I’m not saying Chris and Sebastian have never done anything wrong, but in my opinion, none of it warrants outright hate or being cancelled over. It’s such an immature and unreasonable take. I’m just sorry for the people who can’t love both of them, because man, are they missing out! I understand that it’s painful for you to see all those opinions when you love both of them so much, but that’s why I try to just avoid them. I know they exist, but not seeing them makes dealing with it a whole lot easier, I promise! ❤️
With regard to the challenge itself: if the celebrities who are taking part in it are not donating themselves, then yeah, that would be problematic. However, we know that Chris donates to a ton of different charities, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s donated to this cause as well. Asking people to buy tickets to try and win this “prize” is not in itself an issue, if you ask me. People can think for themselves, can’t they? If they think it’s worth it, they think it’s worth it. They’re not being forced to part with their money, and moreover said money is being used to help people in need. Of course fake and problematic charities exist, but there are still good ones out there as well, so let’s assume for the moment this one is actually doing all of this from a genuine desire to help people and it’s not some money grabbing scheme.
Furthermore, as I’ve said so many times before, I really don’t believe Sebastian and Mackie are “ignoring” Chris. If they’re choosing not to do the challenge (they still might do it at some point) then I’m sure they have a good reason for that and it isn’t that they’re holding a grudge and are thinking “screw this charity and that Chris Evans, I’m going to ghost him to get my revenge!” I mean, do these people even realize how ridiculous that sounds 🙄 I also believe they would have let Chris know about their decision privately. They do have each other’s phone numbers, you know... 
And lastly, about the CW press tour... I don’t know what footage these people have been watching to come to such conclusions, or what’s wrong with their eyes and ears, but that makes NO sense to me. I’ll tell you what; it was mostly the footage from the CW press tour that got me convinced there was something going in between the two of them! Both Chris and Sebastian acted in a way that screamed “smitten kittens” to me, and if there was ever any “stiffness” from Sebastian’s side, then that was no doubt just his slightly more reserved personality compared to Chris and Mackie’s. Chris and Sebastian’s videos together give me LIFE, so for anyone to call them boring is actually kind of insulting lol. To me, almost every interaction Chris and Seb had during that press tour showed that they were either low-key (in a friendship way) or high-key (in a romantic way) crushing on each other, and they clearly admire each other very much. Any awkwardness I’ve ever seen between them for me seemed to stem from that crush (is anyone not at least a little awkward around their crush sometimes?) and not from any dislike from either side. That’s actually such a ridiculous idea to me that it doesn’t even make me worried, it just makes me laugh. Some people really don’t have eyes, it seems. 
Anyway, that was a reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyyy long reply lmao, I’m sorry! I hope this helps a little though, because I do know how shitty it is to feel like you do about things that are supposed to make you happy!! Tuning out the haters and focusing on people who feel the same way you do in my experience is the best way to get to feeling good again 🥰 Big hug, and hopefully you’ll feel better soon!
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My OUAT Rewatch -- S6E11 -- Tougher Than the Rest
Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive
Have to say, its fascinating watching this show now that I know what is to come, because I recalled screaming and being filled with RAGE after this episode when it originally aired.  This was me:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/158067210472/sigh-i-feel-like-such-an-outsider-right-now
And now I . . . . . kinda liked it?  
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Also I just flat out DID NOT like Gideon when it first aired, either.  THAT opinion has changed too.
Also I flat out screamed and raged at Belle -- STILL -- in this episode.
That opinion has ALSO changed.  
Go figure.  But then again, given that at this point I had no idea WTF was to come, we had just spent the past three months with the Rumbelle fandom in disarray and taking sides and blockings and shunnings within the fandom all over the damn place (which, sadly, STILL EXIST), and we just came off a half season of utter OOC bullshit -- let’s just say I wasn’t going into 6B with smiles and rainbows and unicorns.  I was pissy, I was bitter, and I had ZERO fucks to give.  So let’s see how this one fares the second time around . . . . you might be surprised, and I might have some words with my past self!
So let’s break this down . . . . 
First of all, kudos to Colin for playing old drunk Hook.  It was a riot!
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Amazing what an actor can do when he’s actually ACTING and not just standing around like a useless fucking lamp, huh?  
Also, I actually LIKED August in this episode.  No, really!  If you see pigs flying outside your window, this is probably why.  
Before we continue on, I’d like to point out the utter fuckery that came out of this episode, from the CS fandom and from A&E.
First the CS fans:  They literally had a SHIT FIT over “old Hook.”  I mean, it was a collective conniption of screaming and it was HIGHlarious.  Colin enjoyed playing it.  We non-Hook fans enjoyed watching it.  But these humorless dingbats just lost their SHIT.  Which is funny because they were still peeing their pants over Princess Emma and Prince Regina from the last episode which had aired three months prior, so for that to continue for an equally stupid and immature reason was just a thing of beauty.  
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/156812683772/old-hook
A&E: In an interview before this episode aired, EDDY KITSIS said that in the Wish!Realm we’d see Belle “as we’ve never seen her before.”
Well, in the Wish!Realm Belle was a literal BAG OF BONES.  
He is such a fucking piece of shit.  And yet some people (RUMBELLERS!) still continued to have their heads firmly planted up his ass.  Even after THAT!  Unreal.
Also look at Leanne Aguilera being rude as fuck to Rumbellers:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/157800211707/leanne-aguilera-being-a-rude-bitch-to-rumbellers
Okay, got that out of the way.  So, looking back, I really didn’t post much when this episode aired.  That surprises me.  But this was the general gist of May 2017 me:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/158206556752/i-can-t-stand-gideon-character-for-me-he-is-not
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/158147755987/i-keep-seeing-all-these-happy-bouncy-positive
I think much of the problem was there were some KEY deleted scenes in this episode, that made a lot of the Belle stuff make no sense whatsoever.  Here are two of them (can’t find the third) and LMAO that Zelena ended up on the cutting room floor this episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FE3lTr9MA8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRjf9nmcJXs
I mean, don’t get me wrong -- IMO Belle was kinda bitchy in these deleted scenes, but they also revealed that A) Zelena is terrible and B) Belle was kinda stupid to trust her in the first place.  But without these scenes, the scene with Rumbelle at the well kind of makes Belle sound bad.  But WITH these scenes, you have a better understanding of where she’s coming from.  And of course we didn’t get these scenes till late summer.  Frankly I’m amazed we got them AT ALL.  
So I was still VERY bitter at this point, but overall, in rewatching, this episode was decent, aside from the Belle as a bag of bones stuff.  Also this scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=p3Ocosw23O4&feature=emb_logo
I love this scene and when we found out later that Giles struggled in this scene and the face smack was Bobby’s idea and he didn’t tell him he was going to do that, and that was the take they used.  Also this scene gave us a glorious meme:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/157983220592/anonymousnerdgirl-boushh2187-judymulder
One last nit to pick:  The wish realm . . . . . okay, if Robin hasn’t aged, and none of the Robin/Marion stuff happened . . . . . then how did Rumple fall in love with Belle?  Because the Robin Hood stuff is a KEY MOMENT in the Rumbelle history.  It was what prompted him to give her the library.  MAKES NO SENSE.
Points tally:
40 points to start
5 points for Swan Queen
5 points for in character Rumple
10 points deducted for Belle and Hook lord this shit needs to STOP
5 points deducted for Hook PERIOD
You know what?  Despite the nitpicks, I’m not going to deduct anything else, and I’ll give the full 25 bonus.  I’m not sure its TOTALLY deserved, but this episode was decent and at the very least deserves to be ranked way higher than most of the 6A bullshit.
Total points: 60
Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!
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realisaonum · 4 years
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Spread the love; be generous with your authors
Several people have asked me what happened to my fics, and for a while, I wasn't sure I even wanted to post a public explanation of what happened, since I have a feeling my reasoning might start Discourse or some crap. However, considering as it’s Thanksgiving and I have already received two asks today over this issue I felt like it might be time to break the silence, because the irony of that was just too much honestly.....[continue reading below the cut]
Before I get into it, I want to say: I am not interested in anyone’s explanations or reasoning for not commenting. Nor do I want their opinion on my decision to take either of my a/k fics down. There is a reason I didn’t make an announcement they would be deleted. Nor is it a cry for attention. It’s not meant to start a discussion. This is not a decision that can be shifted by one or two folks suddenly pretending to give a shit about my feelings now that they have been negatively effected. We’ve all made our choices. It is what it is. I will not be reposting either story. Having said that…..
I’ve spent three years of my life working on these two stories. Over that time, I have gathered a small, dedicated following. I’ve received thoughtful engagement with a lot of my updates of BRM and AK and that’s kept me going in the face of increasing hatred of the source text.
Until part iv.
Of all my adamk fic, this update undoubtedly had the poorest response and it’s not just because it was too long for people to read. I know people read it. They told me. And then….just chose not to elaborate on that.
It might sound a bit bitchy to tally up the number of comments I get and compare their content, but I want to see people engage with my story—and let’s be real there was a lot of part iv to engage with. So when a majority of responses—not just comments on ao3 but other places with people I consider good friends—consisted of basically two sentences telling me they loved it and that it was great or they finished it in one sitting; I was surprised. This is not real engagement. Frankly, only four people gave me a substantive response to part iv of AK.
I had so many people come tell me they had finished it and that it was great and...nothing else. No elaboration about their favorite interaction, not what scene resonated most with them, not even what they didn’t like….Of course, I knew it was a very long section of story to read. It was a lot to process and, like my taking so long to write the story in the first place, I figured if I wanted a thoughtful engagement with what I wrote I would need to be patient.
Only—aside from one very wonderful comment that came a few weeks after I published—that hoped for thoughtful engagement never came.
For several weeks, I had been trying not to look at my feelings about this lack of response head on, because I knew I would only feel let down and frustrated to put it euphemistically. I ask for comments every time I post, but frankly there are only so many ways to ask readers to comment without it becoming debasing. Why should I have to beg for something readers on any fanfiction site should be doing anyway? Complaining about a lack of response or threatening readers to take it down like some kind of mercurial child is embarrassing. Besides, comments written under that kind of duress hardly mean the same as when a reader writes to the author under their own volition.
But I spent a long time working on part iv. I really struggled with sections of it. It was a lot of work and I am very proud of it. I know it has some of my best writing in it and some of the most moving scenes for the characters as well. There was no way this part, where there were so many subplots, so many highs and lows for the characters, so much promise of what was to come, didn’t have something there to resonate with readers. So then they just couldn’t be bothered to tell me their thoughts—which is unacceptable. It was 111k; that’s novel length. It was a novel for free! I spent a year and a half trying to get this right and they can’t spend ten more minutes to write a few sentences about what struck them? Excuse me for expecting too much apparently.
Until a month and a half ago, I never understood why a fic author would delete their work, even if they weren’t gonna finished the piece. But staring down the barrel of two more years of writing (optimistically) to get the last three parts of AK done, only to get a similar—and in my opinion very un-giving—response to something I have dedicated so much of my life and soul to was untenable. Despite all the work I had already put into writing upcoming scenes for AK and BRM and loving them both dearly, I could not in good conscience do that.
This kind of hit and run reading behavior is something I associate with published fiction, not fandom. Knowing people sped read through it and then didn’t take a fraction of that time to communicate their feelings about what they had just read made me feel really gross. Considering how much time I dedicate to writing, when my primary feelings towards my work are of being taken advantage of by my readers, that is not a good place to dwell. It is an especially not good place to dwell when I hate the source text with the passion of twenty-billion burning suns. Clearly, how betrayed I feel about this is not particularly healthy and obviously I need to step away from fandom culture for a bit. So that is what I am doing. I am trying not to be bitter and give myself the space to grieve my two stories because I won’t be finishing them in their original glory.
Now all these people are coming out of the woodwork to demand where my stories went, when they sure as fuck didn’t have anything to say to me when they were still on ao3. I find this to be monumentally disrespectful. I spent a year and a half working very hard on something none of you felt the need to share (with me) that you engaged with in any real sense; you all should know why I took it down. That un-engagement was a clear demonstration to me that you did not care about the effort it took for me to write my fics and that I should be doing something else with my time. 
Do you see how ridiculous it is to come talk to me over the stories being deleted when you had nothing real to say when they were up? That's a pretty shitty kind of irony.
Look, I know I’m a good writer. That kind of validation was never what I was asking for. What I wanted to know is what specifically in my writing affected you. I am really not interested in the excuse 'you loved it, but didn’t know what else to say.’ As if I myself didn’t struggle with writing some of my story? Of course I did, but I made an effort and I found a way through it. There are more than enough guides on the internet to help improve a person’s commenting. If you gave a shit, you’d have found a way to communicate how you really felt. Since all these folks know where to find me on tumblr they should be able to find them even easier since I reblog a lot of conversation about this! In case you missed it, here is my tag for supporting authors:  https://realisaonum.tumblr.com/tagged/spread-the-love%3B-be-generous-with-your-authors Oh my! I know we say it a lot but fandom artists and fic authors do their work for free—for the love of it, usually. Ideally, that kind of passion—especially with the preoccupation of monetizing EVERYTHING—should be met with a similar enthusiasm. Unbridled geeking is kind of the definition of fandom in the first place. I don’t understand why people have been moving away from that. 
Spread the love; be generous with your authors.
Now I am not singling anyone out, obviously. By ‘you’ I mean the general you. It is not the actions or inactions of any one person, but an issue with the collective fandom. For whatever reason, it has become alright to just not comment on fic—including fic you all apparently really fucking enjoy????????? Well, hey, you could have fooled me. Like I said, it is what it is. You all wanted to know why I deleted, so I am here to tell you that kind of behavior affects writers negatively. Shocker.
tl;dr - Folks who don’t comment on a 111k chapter should already know why it was deleted. 
Everyone who has the gall to come at me now that my stuff’s gone when they had nothing real to say when it was posted might want to take a hard look at their life choices because that shit, it ain’t cool.
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marril96 · 5 years
Text
The Distance Between Us
Chapter 2: Community Service
Pairing: Rowena x reader
Summary: Principal Shurley has a proposition for you and Rowena.
Editor: @rowenaisfabulous
"I talked to Ms. Hanscum," principal Shurley said happily. Too happily for a conversation like this.
"Okay," you said, frowning.
Rowena looked just as confused. More so, actually. She was, after all, one of Ms. Hanscum's best students.
Unlike you.
Shit.
Was this about the test? About your complete and utter failure? About Rowena looking around like she owned the place, all high and mighty?
You shot her a dirty look. This is your fault, it said. If she weren't such a diva, none of this would be happening.
She responded with equal measure.
"She says you're struggling, Y/N," the principal said.
Rowena flashed a smug smile. You wanted to wipe it off her face with your fist.
"Math and I don't really get along," you said with a shrug.
Principal Shurley nodded. "Ms. Hanscum agrees."
She would, considering she'd been your math teacher since Freshman year.
"She thinks you need help, and I agree," he continued.
Shit. "What, like extra classes?" No way in hell were you staying at school late, or coming in early, to study math. You would rather fail. "I appreciate the offer, but no thanks. I've got… obligations." Like sleep. And the internet. And outings with your friends. Like a normal teenage girl. "I wouldn't be able to make it."
The principal chuckled. "Nothing like that," he assured you, and you sighed in relief. "You almost failed Math two times now, right?"
"Yeah," you said, dejected. You weren't too fond of discussing your grades — your bad grades — with Rowena MacLeod within earshot.
"You were pretty close in your Freshman year, too."
It wasn't a question.
You still nodded.
"Ms. Hanscum is worried you'll have trouble graduating."
Seriously? You huffed. "It's only one test," you pointed out. "School literally just started."
"Exactly," the principal agreed. "And you started it poorly."
"I'll do a make up exam."
"Ms. Hanscum tells me you tend to do poorly on them, too."
You did. Usually, you only passed make up exams of make up exams. It was hard work, but hey, it was something. A hard-earned D was still a D.
"I manage," you said.
"This is your senior year," the principal said, "and Ms. Hanscum thinks — and I agree with her — that we should try to take care of the problem at the start. So that you don't struggle later."
How lovely of them.
"What are you saying?"
He cleared his throat. "We think tutoring would benefit you immensely."
You barely held back a laugh. "I can't pay for a tutor," you said.
Even if you could, you wouldn't. There were much better — much more fun — uses of your money than on school.
"I don't mean hiring one," principal Shurley said. His mouth widened into a grin bright as the sun in summer. "That's why I called you both here. Rowena is Ms. Hanscum's star student. Her grades are exceptional. Not just in Math, but in other subjects."
Yeah, yeah, you thought. Rub it in, why don't you?
Then it dawned on you, and your eyes went wide in panic, in sheer shock.
No.
No way.
Hell, no!
He couldn't be implying what you thought he was implying. He surely wouldn't…
No!
You threw a quick glance at Rowena. Her pale face was white as a sheet. Knuckles taut as she squeezed them into fists.
"She could tutor you," the principal said.
"No!" you exclaimed.
"No bloody way!" Rowena said at the exact same time.
At least there was something you both agreed on.
"Language," the principal chastised without really meaning it, earning him an eye-roll from the redhead. "Why not? Rowena, you're one of our best students. Y/N, you struggle with math. You guys could help each other out."
Rather, Rowena could help you out. You had nothing to offer in return.
As if she'd read your mind, she said, "What's in it for me?"
Rowena MacLeod never did anything for free. Everything had a price with her.
"Extra credit," the principal said.
"I don't need extra credit," she pointed out. "I've got perfect grades."
"You also have things on your record colleges wouldn't be happy with."
You pulled on a smirk, a tiny one. Little Miss Perfect may have been a good student, but she was also a brat. She argued with teachers almost as much as she kissed their asses; if they didn't fall for the former, she resorted to the latter.
Rowena huffed. "Are you blackmailing me?"
"I'm simply saying, if you agree to tutor Y/N, you will get extra credit and a clean record."
Sounded like a great offer.
For her.
You, not so much.
"I don't want her to tutor me," you said. There was only so much smugness, eye-rolls, and temper tantrums you could handle. "My friend Sam can help me out."
"Sam Winchester, right? He's a Junior."
"He's very smart."
"I don't doubt that. He's one of our best students, second only to Rowena."
She beamed at that, the smug thing she was.
"But he's also a year behind," the principal continued. "Rowena is in your year. And she's your classmate. She would be a much better option, in my opinion."
Not in mine, you thought bitterly.
"Sam's my friend," you said in the politest voice you could muster. He would be nice to you. Kind. Patient. Anything Rowena wasn't.
You doubted she was capable of anything other than bitchiness.
"I get that," principal Shurley said. It didn't seem like he did, or cared to. Teenage drama surely wasn't something he was interested in. "But I'd say, in this particular case, Rowena is more qualified. I don't see why she couldn't give it a try."
Because she was a bitch. Because she was dating the school's biggest sleazebag — the lovely principal's son — and hung around with bullies. She may not have teased anyone, or shoved them into lockers, or called them fat and ugly to their face, but she was there every time it happened. She laughed along with her gang. Encouraged them to keep going. Watched with utmost joy on her face as they tormented people whose only crime was being unpopular.
Sam may have seen hidden depths in her, but not you. You weren't falling for the secretly-nice-and-misunderstood bullshit.
If she were a nice person, she wouldn't have sucked up to those people until they let her into their group. She wouldn't have joined in on the bullying. She wouldn't have acted like she was above everyone who wasn't in her little circle of friends.
"You'll also get extra credit, if you accept," principal Shurley said after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "It'd help get your grade up."
It would.
It definitely would.
When it came to math, you needed all the help you could get. Extra credit surely would be great.
But at what cost?
You glanced at Rowena. She stared back with murder in her eyes. She needed the help, as well, with her record. And, as much as it quite obviously physically pained her, she was considering the offer.
As were you.
Summer school was a no-go. There was no way you were wasting your precious vacation on school — on math — of all things. Also, if that were to happen, you would be forced to graduate later. If you would be able to graduate at all.
Considering your previous experiences with math, failure was quite possible. Very, very possible, in fact. Almost imminent.
"For how long?" you asked, turning back to the principal.
"What?" he asked, taken aback.
"How long would this tutoring thing last?"
"This semester," he replied. "If you still need more help afterwards, we'll figure something out. For now, the plan is just this semester."
Great.
Three whole months of hanging around Rowena.
Who could possibly survive that?
Crowley was living with her, and he was on the brink of death most of the time. Though, to be fair, that might have had to do with all the booze and weed he stuffed himself with.
You and Rowena exchanged another unfriendly look.
Then, hating yourself even as you were thinking it, you said, "Fine."
The redhead made a disgusted face. You felt the same on the inside.
Getting along already.
Principal Shurley beamed. "You agree to the tutoring?"
"Yeah," you said in the most unenthusiastic tone you could muster. The same one one would use to agree to community service instead of prison.
"That's great!"
He seemed happier about it than you were. Then again, not an ounce of what you felt was happiness, so it was an instant win for him.
"How about you, Rowena?" he asked.
"I don't really have a choice, do I?" she said, clearly unhappy.
"Of course you do!" the principal assured her. "This is all voluntary."
Then why did it feel like you were manipulated into agreeing?
"Whatever," she said with a huff. "I'm in."
She said it in the tone one would use to tell someone their loved one had died.
Maybe it symbolized Rowena's pride dying, in which case, the feeling was mutual. This was even more shameful than the time you got so drunk you vomited your guts out while Crowley held your hair and laughed like the asshole he was.
"Great!" the principal exclaimed way too enthusiastically for the occasion. "This will be great for you guys! You'll help each other out and become friends."
You wanted to laugh. Rowena did so, but stopped when he glared at her.
If anything, this arrangement would drive a further wedge between the two of you.
No better way to get people to hate each than to force them to spend time together.
*****
Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @dropsofpetrichor @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @rowenaisfabulous @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @melisandre02 @a-queen-and-her-throne
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uncloseted · 5 years
Note
Hey Christina!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I’m hyped. I was wondering if you could do a “50 things about yourself” idk if you’ve done it before but I’d like to know about you cause you’re so cool! 😎 and we love you
Hi!  I haven’t done one before but I’m happy to.  And of course, if there’s anything you guys want to know about me I’m an open book.  This particular “50 Things” tag is old school Tumblr, so it’s sort of random, but hopefully something in there is interesting for you guys.
1. What takes up too much of your time?
Reddit.  I’m an information junkie and most of the stuff on there has very little use in my life, but once in a while I come across a gem and it’s what keeps me scrolling.
2.       What makes your day better?
Iced coffee.  There’s a coffee shop near my house that I really like, and I also bought a bunch of the fancy flavored syrups so I can make it at home.
3.       What’s the best thing that happened to you today?
I’ve been having a pretty chill day so far, but spending the day with my boyfriend has been really nice.
4.       What fictional place would you like to go?
The Night Circus!  It’s one of my secret ambitions in life to actually build it.
5.       Are you good at giving advice?
I sure hope so, otherwise I’m running some of your lives 😂. But seriously, I do my best.1.
6.       Do you have any mental illness?
Let’s say I know my way around a therapist’s office and leave it at that.
7.       Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?
Yes!  I used to get a combination of sleep paralysis and exploding head syndrome semi-regularly, but that hasn’t happened in years.
8.       What musician inspired you the most?
I don’t know about “inspired” but I think The Velvet Underground had a big hand in shaping who I am.  Also Patti Smith, she’s great.  I highly recommend her book “Just Kids” to all of you.  There’s something about it that feels Skinsy even though on paper they’re nothing alike.
9.       Have you ever fallen in love?
Absolutely.  I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now and I couldn’t be happier. 
10.   What’s your dream date?
I love driving to a new city and checking out what there is to do there.  I think having a place that you share just with that one person is really romantic. 
11.   What do other people notice about you?
My hair, my clothes, or my “intimidating” face are the ones I hear the most often.
12.  What is the annoying habit you have?
My boyfriend really hates it when I do “active listening” (where you nod or make noises to let people know you’re still paying attention to them).
13.  Do you still talk to your first love?
No, but I hope they’re doing well.
14.  How many ex’s do you have?
6ish would be my guess?  I’d be interested to know if all of those people would say that I’m their ex, though.
15.  How many songs are on your playlist?
I don’t really make playlists, so I guess none.  I’m sorry that’s a super boring answer. 
16.  What instruments can you play?
Piano and bass guitar pretty well and tuba badly (and I can’t actually carry the instrument anymore).  I could play the flute when I was younger but I imagine I can’t anymore.
17.  Who do you have the most pictures of?
My boyfriend, I think.  I have a Polaroid camera and I like taking pictures of him when he’s not paying attention. 
18.  Where would you like to go before you die?
Argentina, Scandinavia, Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, Russia, Vietnam, South Africa, Morocco, Australia, Antarctica, and the moon.
19.  What is your zodiac?
Libra!  My birthday is coming up on the 17th. 
20.  Do you relate to it?
I do!  And I feel sort of badly about that because I know that zodiac is just the Barnum Effect in action, but the Libra desire for balance, idealism, and love of aesthetics is me. 
21.  What is happiness to you?
Being free of expectations from myself and other people.
22.  Are you going through anything right now?
In my experience, adulthood is just going through different things for the rest of your life, so yes. Pretty much always.  But right now I’m looking for a new job and that’s been a lot.
23.  What is the worst decision you’ve ever made?
How much time do you have?  I did a lot of things in my teenage years that I’m not particularly proud of.
24.  What is your favourite store?
I love really giant department stores like Harrod’s, or covered markets with tons of different random stalls.  I like the idea that you don’t know what you’re going to find.  I also love antique stores for the same reason.
25.  What is your opinion on abortion?
It should be available and accessible to anyone who wants or needs it.  But so should birth control.  And I think it’s important that people understand all of their options before making a decision and are given mental health support if they need it as well. 
26.  Do you have a bucket list?
Not really.  I had basically one thing that I’d always wanted to accomplish and that happened way earlier than I expected, so now I’m trying to figure out what my next thing will be.
27.  Do you have a favourite album at the moment?
Blue Scholar’s Cinematropolis or Belle & Sebastian’s Dear Catastrophe Waitress.  And Velvet Underground’s Loaded, always. 
28.  What do you want for your birthday?
I’m hoping my boyfriend and I will go away for the weekend.  Fingers crossed that our schedules work out!
29.  What are most people’s first impression of you?
I think people find me to be intimidating (when they’re being generous) or mean (when they’re not).  Like I said before, I have a bit of a bitchy face and so I have to make a conscious effort to smile at people.
30.  What age do you seem according to most people?
I’m not sure.  I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just sort of “in my 20s” and people don’t care what the exact number is.  But in general, I think people assume I am however old they are, so anywhere from like 18-30.
31.  Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?
Right next to my bed, which you shouldn’t do.  But I read on my phone before I go to sleep and I use it as an alarm clock, so it ends up on my bedside table.
32.  What word do you say the most?
It’s probably “but”.  I spend a lot of time considering all the possibilities in a given situation so I spend a lot of time being like, “but what about this? But what if that? Things could be this way, but on the other hand they’re like that”.  I don’t think I really have a catchphrase, though.
33.  What’s the oldest age you would date?
Thirty, probably?  I feel like anyone older than that is probably in a different stage of their life than I am.
34.  What’s the youngest age you would date?
Twenty three or so?  They would have to be out of college.
35.  What job/career do most people say would suit you?
Other than the job I do now, I get a lot of people saying that I should be an art curator or a museum curator.  And I get people telling me I should be a therapist, obviously.
36.  What’s your favourite music genre?
Like most people I like your general pop/rock situation.  I really like baroque pop, which is pop music but that includes orchestral instruments.  And then I also love electroswing, I think it’s such a fun blend of genres.
37.  If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?
Either the Netherlands or Denmark.  But I would also like to spend some time in France and more time in Italy, where I did study abroad.  I also really love the UK, but given the current political situation I’m not sure I’ll be moving there any time soon, especially since I’d need a visa.
38.  What is your current favourite song?
I don’t know if I really have one.  I do enjoy when I hear Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” on the radio, though, does that count?
39.  How long have you had this blog for?
Since October, 2013!  I’m coming up on my six year anniversary.  I think I have something like 30,000 posts.
40.  What are you excited for?
The future! I think no matter how the present seems, the future is always an exciting prospect. 
41.  Are you a better talker or listener?
I think this might surprise some people, but I think I’m a better talker than listener.
42.  What is the last productive thing you did?
The last really productive thing I did was to film a pitch video for a project I’m working on, but the most recent is doing some work for this blog.
43.  What do you want for Christmas?
The impeachment of Donald Trump? Can Santa do that?  I would also take “people taking climate crisis seriously”.
44.  What class do you get the best grades in?
In high school, philosophy/religion and psychology. At university I did very well in “Iconic Figures of Popular Music: Simon and Garfunkel”.
45.  On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling?
Around a 7.  I need to get dressed and leave the house, but I don’t have anywhere in particular I need to be so I’ve been putting it off.
46.  What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?
I’d like to be living in a different country than the one I do now with my boyfriend.  I’d like to be self employed or remotely employed, so that I have flexibility in when and where I do work.  I want to be doing something where I’m bettering other people’s lives or the world at large. But mostly what I’d like to be doing is traveling and learning.  But really my priority is that by that time, I want to be content with myself.  I think what you’re doing and where you’re doing it is so much less important than how you feel while doing it, and in 10 years I hope I can say that I’m living a happy and worthwhile life, whatever that ends up being.
47.  When did you get your first heart broken?
I think I was 14.  What I’ll say about it is this- in the moment it mattered so, so much to me.  My parents were the first person that each other dated and I assumed that was how all relationships worked, so when that wasn’t how this one worked out, I was devastated.  But now I barely remember that person, and  I live with someone else who’s completely different and totally awesome and I couldn’t be happier.  I know it sounds like a lie but with time and perspective all wounds can heal.
48.  At what age do you want to get married?
I didn’t think I wanted to get married at all.  I don’t like the idea of having a big wedding where you’re the center of attention and everyone is starting at you.  But in the long run being legally married is practical, so my boyfriend and I will probably do it at some point when we feel like it makes logistic sense.
49.  What career did you want to have as a child?
I wanted to be an Imagineer at Disney.  They’re the people who design the theme parks.  I also wanted to be the president of the moon.
50.  What do you crave right now?
Excitement!  Nothing is going on in my day right now and I’m starting to get bored.  I have a very low tolerance for boredom so days like this really get to me.
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hightress · 5 years
Text
The Grumpy Cat And The Barista
Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia
AO3 Link
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Pairing: Kiribaku, Bakushima
Characters: Kirishima, Bakugou, Todoroki, Jirou 
Additional Tags:  Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, writer Bakugou, Barista Kirishima Eijirou, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Crack, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Cat Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia)                    
Chapters: 1/1
Word count: 5,796
Summary: In which Bakugou needs a place to write and learns that a Kitty Café is definitely not the best place to do it.
OK, so here's the deal. Bakugou didn't enjoy writing - not the act of it anyway. It took too much time and the rewards were too little to satisfy him. His back ached after a day in front of his computer and his eyes stung because of the screen. He hated it. If he could, he would've thrown the laptop out the window without any regrets. The only reason why he didn't was that, despite all pain and wasted time, it helped him.
He's never been a patient person and he just couldn't suffer to see or hear certain things sometimes and do nothing. It was so easy to get angry just by walking down the street. Just having someone bump into him and say nothing or hearing the screams of the still hangover students that lived close to him was more than enough to make him want to act, either by shouting back at them or punching something, even someone's face. And, apparently, that wasn't a normal reaction to have.
It wasn't Bakugou's problem that most people were too terrified to have an opinion.
So, if he couldn't react in real life as he wanted because, c'mon, being arrested for something as petty as a shouting contest or light punch was the furthest thing he needed in his life, he was going to do it somewhere else. In a place that he could control and punish people that annoyed him as he liked.
Of course, writing hadn't been his first choice. Or his tenth one. But it worked better than any sport ever could.
The paper listened and never judged. Never tried to fix him or nagged him to be a better person. Just took his anger, his harsh words and turned them into something.
"Die!" shouted Bakugou, using the pen in his hand like some sort of knife, leaving messy marks all over paper as he finished another paragraph. Alternating the computer with the old-school approach was a new thing, but it worked nevertheless.
A sigh could be heard from the other side of the room.
"Did you just kill me? Again?" asked Todoroki, voice full of exasperation. He was lying in his bed, messy hair coloring his light blue sheets and eyes closed. Exhausted was the best way to describe him at that moment, clearly stated by the dark circles under his eyes. Having an exam at 7 in the morning was tough and a small break after was understandable, but to someone like Bakugou, it felt like a complete waste of time.
Bakugou's only answer had been a snort. He's spent enough months with Todoroki since they've both moved in the flat at the beginning of the year to understand him properly and hate his guts.
(Not that it would've been difficult to get Bakugou to hate something.)
Whenever he looked at Todoroki, all he could think about was 'wasted potential'. Extremely smart, with enough family connections to make the university's attempts of getting the students decent placements seem like a joke, he had everything he needed to be the best in their year. He was close to the top, but for Bakugou the word 'close' ruined everything. Why be 'good' or 'decent' when you can be the best? The second place wasn't good enough. And would never be for Bakugou.
Bakugou could only dream about such connections and, for an aspiring lawyer, they were everything.
The saddest part was that Todoroki had so much more than that. Bakugou had seen him in action - defending a case, building it up. He was good. More than that, he was impressive, but only when he was serious about it.
So, yeah, Bakugou hated him and, since he couldn't punch Todoroki, killing him was a great alternative. After all, even his breathing pattern annoyed Bakugou sometimes - he wrote about it. And took it to the extreme.
"It's the third time in four chapters, isn't it? If you ever hope to publish that, don't you think your readers will complain?" asked Todoroki, not impressed by the act itself. He got used to Bakugou's antics after the first two months. Getting murdered in a fictional story wasn't that fascinating.
Bakugou answered immediately in the only way he knew how to communicate - loudly.
"They'd rather thank me for getting rid of your stupid ass," he shouted. "Now shut up, you piece of shit. I need to focus on this."
Todoroki opened one eye to look at him.
"Do you even want it to be published? Is there some action besides the random killing?" Both were legit questions. And Bakugou had no idea how to answer either of them.
He narrowed his eyes.
"Say one more word and I'll make it four times. Don't test me," he threatened, fingers tightly clenched around the pen, ready to keep his word.
Todoroki didn't say anything after that, just closed his eyes and rolled over, his back facing Bakugou.
For a good full minute, Bakugou really believed he fell asleep.
"You know," he suddenly spoke again, startling Bakugou and breaking the illusion, not moving an inch. "If you really  want to write, maybe you can do it in a place where it'll be easier for you to concentrate."
Which could've translated as 'I want to sleep and you're screaming too much'. Or not. It didn't matter.
Despite what a huge part of him wanted - which was to shout some more at Todoroki or even throw some ink in his face - Bakugou considered his proposal. It didn't sound that bad.
"Like where?"
He didn't know what he expected, but having Todoroki deep in thought for a period of time too long to be socially acceptable only to blurt out a weak  "A park...?" definitely wasn't it.
"A park?" repeated Bakugou. "Are you dumb, assface?" When Todoroki said nothing in his defence, Bakugou explained "There are hundreds of kids in there. Hundreds of loud, bitchy little shits. Fuck no, I'm not going there."
Why did he even try to ask someone like Todoroki in the first place? His social skills were disastrous and that, coming from Bakugou, meant something. He still found himself asking further.
"Any other ideas, genius?"
After another short pause, Todoroki answered, even though his confidence in his own words was just as absent as the previous time.
"Maybe... Maybe a coffee shop?" he said, clearly aware of how unhelpful the suggestion was for someone like Bakugou. For any other person, a place like that might've worked, but surrounding Bakugou with gossiping teenagers and filling him with caffeine? Bad combination.
"Like every single loser? Classic. You're so fucking useless," said Bakugou as he sat up. He grabbed all his papers and his laptop, shoving them all a bit too aggressively in a backpack.
None of them doubted the state of the papers inside - horribly folded and almost ripped in two or three places. Another thing that made the bag heavier than necessary was a law textbook that Bakugou intended to finish by the end of the week. End of exams be damned, he refused to fall behind. That way, if he didn't feel like writing, he was sure as hell not going to waste time like a fucking wimp.
Throwing his backpack over his shoulder, he looked one last time at Todoroki's back and shouted for good measure, just to be an asshole.
"Enjoy your damn nap!"
He closed the door with a loud 'bang' and left the building one minute after that, still undecided about where he was headed. He contemplated going to the library - it would've been quieter at least - but, at the same time, since it was part of the university, he knew the chances of meeting someone that knew him were pretty high. And he definitely didn't feel like dealing with any of them, especially when he was working on something so personal.
Todoroki finding out had been an accident, to begin with. He didn't want to share his written work with anyone. It was his business, ok? If he felt like murdering people, it was his fucking decision. The last thing he wanted was some moron's opinion about how he should be doing things.
So, yeah, he had no idea where to go, but that's what Google Maps was for, right? He'd only need to type 'café' once and decide on one close enough.
(Todoroki's idea still sucked. But Bakugou couldn't think of anything more decent and he didn't have time to waste on something so stupid.)
The maps would've been a wonderful option. Incredible even. Sadly, because Bakugou had to be Bakugou, he forgot to charge his phone the day before.
"Of-fucking-course," he muttered under his breath shoving the phone in one of his pockets. He had no other choice but to walk around like a freaking tourist hoping to find something where he could work in peace.
Surprisingly enough, after fifteen minutes of searching like a retard, all he managed to find was a bakery (which was a huge no) and a place that only sold bagels. Again, a huge no.
It took him ten more minutes to reach a building that had 'Café' written in huge, bold letters above the door and when he saw it, he didn't bother to read what was placed before or after any other shit. He was thirsty and annoyed and tired and even if he hadn't actually wanted a drink before, he sure as hell wanted one then.
The second he stepped inside, he realized he made a mistake.
There was purple - everywhere. Purple cushions, purple pillows, purple uniforms, purple toys. Yes, fucking toys, for cats because - guess what - there were cats all over the damn place.
Did Bakugou mention that he couldn't stand cats? They were whiny and needy and lame and he couldn't care less. How people managed to live with them and not murder them in the middle of the goddamn night was a fucking miracle.
He was already turning around, ready to leave the place and go write on the bus or some other shit like that, when one of the people working there had the audacity to talk to him. And Bukugou, being his usual self, didn't listen to any word the person said. However, as soon as the other finished the sentence or question or whatever, because Bakugou had been raised to be polite enough, he moved his head to the side to shout his usual 'Fuck off' before exiting the building, only to swallow his words when his eyes met the person that addressed him.
And what left his mouth had been a non-contained shout of "What the hell is that?", followed by an awkward silence.
Everyone stared at him, unmoving. Funny how the entire atmosphere of the shop changed in a millisecond because of something he did. He didn't give a fuck.
The person that got that reaction out of him didn't frown, didn't complain about the volume or anything like that. He just sat next to the desk at the entrance, looking at Bakugou with confusion.
"That wasn't very specific, man." said the guy, tilting his head to the side. Not that Bakugou followed the movement, still too intrigued (and disgusted) by the top of the other's head, unable to tear his eyes away from the weird shape found there.
"Do you call that hair?" asked Bakugou, his volume high and words unfiltered. But how could he do anything but that when that haircut (did he really pay for that shit?) was such a disgrace to human nature?
It was red, but not any kind of red, that type that literally jumped in your face and attacked you with the intensity of the colour. The worst part, however, was its entire form. Hair wasn't supposed to work like that - spikes of different sizes defying gravity and looking like an absolute mistake.
Why were they all staring at him like he just killed Jesus when his question was so fucking valid? They couldn't have not thought about it at least once in their sorry lives. If they thought he was rude, they were either used to lying to themselves or plain stupid.
Judging from the place they were at, either working or fucking around, it could've been both.
Only one person in the entire damn shop didn't seem to take it to heart. The single damn guy that had the right to actually feel attacked.
"Yeah. Isn't it cool?" he asked, smiling brightly and genuinely, as of Bakugou had just complimented, not only his hair, but every single thing about him. His eyes (also red because of course they had to be) were sparkling, for fuck's sake.
How the hell was Bakugou supposed to react to this? He couldn't scream 'I just insulted you, moron. Why the fuck are you so happy about it?'. Actually, he could, but he didn't want or need to make conversation or some shit like that.
So he settled for the better alternative. A growled, "It looks like something died in there."
Not even that kind of comment wiped the smile from the bastard's face. "Never thought of it that way. But it's a good thing, right?" It was unnerving.
Definitely not, thought Bakugou, gritting his teeth.
Was the guy on drugs? Before Bakugou could think this through, the other's grin only widened, if that was even possible. He scanned Bakugou from head to toe and exclaimed "Love your shirt, man. Is it from Forbidden Planet?"
Bakugou instinctively looked down at himself. To be honest, he had forgotten what he had thrown on himself in the morning. It was a normal occurrence - it was black and loose, that's all he needed to know. There was a skull on the front, contrasting heavily with the dark background. It was sick. Bakugou loved it, but that didn't explain this stranger's enthusiasm regarding it. Or what that Forbidden Planet place was.
He hated not understanding things.
"Huh?" he asked, or, more exactly, emitted with confusion. The sound was loud enough to make the person next to him cringe at the volume, but, somehow, it got covered completely by another voice, this time from one of the losers working there.
"Kirishima!" shouted a girl, her headphones hanging around her neck. The guy turned towards her instantly. "Are you going to do your job or not?"
He didn't grimace, didn't show any specific remorse. Just stayed as a sunny beam of bullshit.
"Yeah, sorry. In a second," the guy promised and looked at Bakugou once again. "It's an awesome shop two streets away from here. Definitely worth checking out," he explained before quickly adding: "By the way, I'm supposed to ask - do you have a reservation?"
"Was I supposed to?" Reservations were stupid and why the hell would he even make one? He didn't intend to stay anyway, not with all that purple and the constant meowing of hundreds (more like fifteen, but who was he to count) of cats.
Kirishima - the red tornado guy of sunshine - didn't seem to get the memo. "It's kind of a rule. Don't worry though, we have enough space at the moment. Just wait for a second and I'll fetch you a table."
"I don't need a damn table," mumbled Bakugou, his words muffled by the cries of three or four cats that decided to open their goddamn mouths in that exact same moment. It wasn't surprising at all that Kirishima didn't hear anything from him with all that noise.
He simply grabbed Bakugou's elbow (who the hell did that to a stranger, what the fuck?) as gently as possible, while still having a pretty strong hold on him and manoeuvring him around the café as if he was a bag of chips. Which, he, obviously, wasn't. It wasn't that big of a shop anyway and, in the 20-30 seconds it took them to move around it, Bakugou realized a couple things.
First of all, the guy needed to fucking let go of him or he was going to end up dead for real, not just on paper. Or cremated or some other shit. Second of all, having 'enough space' was a freaking lie. They barely had a chair to spare and the ones that were available had at least one cat acting like a complete brat on top of them. There was even a table where a guy had been forced to sit on the stairs next to his friends in order to let one of those furred fuckers to keep his seat. Such a wimp. If he allowed an animal to order him around and control his life, he definitely deserved to be called a loser.
And, lastly, why did these people have a perfectly fine table for two in the far corner of the shop unoccupied when it was so clear that they were overcrowded? Because that's exactly where Kirishima took him.
"Is this ok with you, man?" he had asked as he positioned Bakugou right in front of the table, his hands tapping twice his shoulders before letting him go.
Bakugou, uncharacteristically, didn't comment on the gesture, too confused about being moved around and touched so familiarly to function as he normally would - with a lot of trashing around and screams and murder promises. Not that he couldn't get to that later, as soon as he snapped out of it.
"Whatever," he said instead, moving his head to the side, not wanting to stare at Kirishima more than necessary. He wanted him gone already. Having him this close made Bakugou feel like he was slightly suffocating.
And some God above must've pitied him enough to answer his wish.
"I'll take that as a yes then," said Kirishima and smiled. "Sadly, I have to go and help some other customers, but I'll be back to you shortly. Order anything you want, I promise they are all good."
After that, he left, and Bakugou found himself standing next to the table he's been led to, no knowing how to react. But it would've been weird to chose that moment to get out of that place, especially after his interaction with Kirishima. He knew that. That's why he decided to stay, nothing more, nothing less. As he lowered himself to his seat, he noted the softness of the pillow stuck to the chair. It might've been coloured like a glowing unicorn skin, but he couldn't really deny its comfiness.
The menu was placed neatly in the centre of the table and, from the looks of it, was going to stay there for the rest of the day. Call him picky or whatever, but he wasn't going to touch something that had pink lettering, badly pixelated as well, on top of a violet pattern of a cat in heat. (It had hearts instead of eyes, sue him for having an opinion. It was a horrifying image anyway.)
He took his time to lay down his things, taking in the whole atmosphere of the shop. After all, if he wanted to work there, he needed to decide if it was possible to focus with all of the continuous noise and movement involved. It wasn't as bad as he initially thought, the loudest thing to be heard were the voices of the employers and even they didn't give Bakugou an excuse to get lost. The only apparent problem remained the cats - the most volatile subject included in the equation. He didn't know what to expect, if any of them scratched or if they were going to leave hair all over his things if he turned around for merely a second. At that hour, most of them seemed to be asleep, only two or three walking around the shop with their tails high in the air like some self-declared divas. Only one cared for human touch, the others running away before they were even approached.
Bakugou didn't blame them. He would've done the same after he made them bleed if he had sharp pointy things at the end of his fingers and someone had nothing better to do than to annoy him.
Even after he had the whole table turned into his own personal desk, he didn't start, just kept looking around, not sure himself what for. All he knew was that his eyes kept looking back at the strange guy from before, either by accident or attracted by the energy in his voice.
He was entertaining to watch, to say at least. And his hair was starting to feel less and less like the worst part. As soon as he noticed the uniform, he flinched, unsure how he had missed it before. One would think that by that point Bakugou might've gotten used to the colours, but that definitely wasn't the case when he felt like tearing his own eyes out just by glancing twice at the pink and violet paw patterns placed all over their aprons. The silver glitter didn't make it any better. All of that - including the mandatory fake cat ears that everyone working there seemed to wear - had the potential to work on a girl. It was girly, it made sense, and it could be seen clearly in the shop since most of the employers were of the opposite sex, but on a male like that Kirishima? He didn't get it.
It seemed like a bad marketing strategy.
Bakugou could see muscles under that shirt, decent ones nevertheless. Why have something like that hidden just because their stupid uniform demanded it?
As soon as he remarked this, looking away became even more difficult. He had to force himself to move his attention back to his work and, even when he did, it took him a few minutes to focus properly. After that, it was easy to lose himself in his words, paragraph after paragraph lying there one after the other, bloody and way too descriptive for a simple therapeutic piece of writing.
He had little over a page finished by the time he got interrupted and a much calmer mind to deal with the rest of the world.
"Hey," said Kirishima, appearing from his left, a small notebook in his hands. Once again, too casual, too close, too soon. "Sorry, that took a while. What would you like me to bring you?"
Bakugou stared at his face, silent for a few moments, still trapped somewhere between his the place built by his words and where his body was actually placed. It was a weird feeling, not bad exactly, just difficult to describe. When he managed to answer, Kirishima was already looking at him with something close to concern in those red eyes of his.
"I don't care," he said and, despite the harsh wording, his tone was soft, as if he breathed the words out, not said them.
It was unusual, wasn't it? To answer something like that. Kirishima didn't seem to mind this either.
"Oh. Do you need more time or do you want me to recommend something?"
How could he be so patient?
"I'm not sure I trust your taste," replied Bakugou, not intending to be rude, but stating something he felt the need to let out.
"Don't worry, dude. I've got you," said Kirishima cheerily, closing the notebook and throwing it in one of his back pockets. "I'm assuming you're not into the whole extra-cream-extra-sweet thing, so maybe you'd like Jirou's orange espresso. Or her chocolate ones. Or the ones with a bit of caramel in the mix. Your call."
Who the fuck is Jirou?  
"They all sound terrible. What do you make? Or are you here just as some sort of mascot?"
"I make the tea. The manager doesn't really let me try more than that after last week's accident."
Did he even want to know about the incident? Probably not. Tea definitely didn't sound too bad compared to the other drinks.
"If I order one would you let me be?" he asked, wanting to be left alone. He had things to do and didn't have the time to chat with strangers.
And Kirishima... He... He had the fucking audacity to wink at him.
"We'll see."
Why wasn't Kirishima acting like a stranger towards him? It was weird for so many reasons. All those jokes and interest were happening too suddenly and Bakugou wasn't able to catch up with all of it. Was he acting like this with all customers or did it happen to be Bakugou's (un)lucky day?
Bakugou followed him with his eyes for a while, craving the answer to this question. Kirishima did talk a lot and whenever he approached a table, his smile grew wider and, in the back of his mind, Bakugou kind of wanted to touch his face and see if it was real or not. It looked real and, when Kirishima did it in front of him, it kind of felt real as well.
In all honesty, if Bakugou could admit something out loud, it was that he was selfish enough to want the smiles Kirishima gave him to be different than the rest. All those people, they had friends and family smiling at them like that every day. Bakugou didn't. He never thought he would want it, but he did. He really did.
People were scared of him or, at best, their smiles were mostly teasing, born out of boredom. He didn't fucking need teasing or anything as shallow as that. He wanted something truthful. Something real.
Bakugou didn't touch the paper. Didn't write a damn word. Just kept looking from the corner he was seated in, eyes widening whenever he saw Kirishima glance his way. It wasn't as rare as he would've expected but definitely not as much as his ego needed.
Sadly, it wasn't just Bakugou who craved his attention. Two cats were playing between his legs, purring and placing their tiny paws on his dark jeans, doing everything in their power to make Kirishima give them a few seconds of his time. He did it with the widest grin on his face, stopping mid-sentence during his conversation with a customer, and picked them up both, placing their cute fluffy heads on his chest as his arms carried them without a problem.
The contrast between the solid muscle and the gentleness of the gesture made Bakugou want to bark at the scene.
He wasn't jealous of a cat. He wasn't. That would've been idiotic.
"So..." started a feminine voice, interrupting his line of thought. "Do you want the tea now or should I come back later, once you're done trying to skin Kirishima alive with your eyes?"
It was the girl from before, the one with the short pixie-cut and headphones. Her tone had been a mix between monotonous and amused, her mouth forced into a straight line and her eyes full of mischief. Bakugou didn't know her and definitely didn't want to, but he sure as hell wasn't going to stay silent at her accusation.
"What's your problem?"
"I've been standing here for a full minute trying to figure out how to serve the tea Kirishima made for you, but you were too busy making lovey-dovey eyes at him to notice." Before he could explode, she kept talking. "Do you want it or not."
"Of course I do." he raged, taking the cup out of her hands. Which might've not been the most polite or normal move, he could give her that, but it was too late to excuse his sudden action. "And I never make that lovey-dovey shit. What the hell?"
Her nose made one of those movements - getting all wrinkly on one side in a judgemental way - and she stared at him flatly as she spoke again.
"You're quite the poet, aren't you?"
"And you're quite a bitch."
(The comeback of the century, wasn't it?)
She rolled her eyes so hard it must've hurt. "I have no idea why I expected Kirishima to be attracted to someone normal this time," she said to no-one. She threw him another short glance. "Definitely not the case."
That was the moment in which Bakugou would've probably cracked her skull open. Fictionally, obviously, he wasn't a barbarian. He didn't, however, because he kept replaying the first half of her words.
It must've shown on his face because she snorted and said: "You can't possibly be that blind."
Despite the insult, he couldn't really comment on it. Not when his brain was suddenly working like a maniac, trying to see what kind of gestures could've given the girl that impression.
Had it been the touching or the familiarity in his way of talking? Or maybe the wink, that one definitely seemed out of place, considering the fact that they've just met. It was difficult to tell.
"So, jerkface," the girl addressed him again. "Do you want his number or not?"
He could've said no without missing a single beat. His hesitation to do so was speaking volumes. He wasn't thinking about any storyline or character or action-packed scene full of blood and gore, no. Instead, he kept looking less and less discretely at Kirishima, his eyes tracing those impressive arms and back that simply seemed to jump out of that stupid shirt, only to go back to his contagious smile. If it hadn't been to that smile, Bakugou was sure he would've been outside long before the girl opened her mouth. Or he would've scoffed and mumbled a short 'fuck no', before ignoring her. But, as the situation stood, he couldn't say that he was against the idea.
Bakugou hadn't been honest with himself earlier when he insisted on being left alone. The guy intrigued him. His brightness - God, it sounded so idiotic to call it that - was something he couldn't comprehend. He wanted to know more. Wanted to understand how it worked and how he could smile so much and be so open, even to people he did not know.
The girl gave him all the time in the world to make up his mind, not rushing him in the slightest. Secretly, he was thankful for that.
He moved his head to the side, seeing another one of those furry creatures blinking repeatedly as if trying hard not accommodate their eyes to the light. Served them right for sleeping so much. Brats.
As if possessed by something, Bakugou found himself almost smiling at the image. Somehow, the stillness of the cat calmed him. It was weird, he knew.
It's just a number, anyway. It's not like I have to call the guy.  
(Yeah, he probably wouldn't call. But messaging was another thing entirely.)
He raised his chin towards the girl and, with a new and probably strangely placed determination, he said: "Give it to me."
She did. After a few threats, of course, but who was Bakugou to listen when he had so many other things to focus on? (Apparently, she also mentioned some sort of entrance fee that Kirishima forgot to tell him about or ask for, which was outrageous. Bakugou thought he heard the price and he really wished he hadn't. Thank fuck he had only ordered some pitiful tea. His wallet wouldn't have been able to cover anything else.)
The girl left his table soon after that. Bakugou didn't hesitate. He drank the tea as if it was a shot of tequila, not a mix of hot water and leaves, and threw the amount of money he owed Kirishima on the table, as he sat up. Didn't wait for Kirishima to approach him again and collected his things in silence.
He noticed those red eyes follow his movements and he stared right back at him, this time without any hesitation. His steps were loud and firmly placed on the ground as he moved towards Kirishima. When he got close enough, he stopped for a second, barely enough to say a sentence.
"You'd better check your phone, asshole." No smirk was added at the end of it. No smile or anything else. He said it bluntly, in the most serious way he could muster.
Because if he was going to do this, it had to be a serious matter. He didn't do flings. He didn't do relationships either and, if it, by any chance, was going to end up in that direction, it had to start the right way.
Kirishima's face stayed blank for a few moments, probably taken aback by Bakugou's sudden change of attitude. Or by how cryptic his words were when thrown in his face like that. It didn't take long, though, and his face erupted in one of the most blinding smiles Bakugou had ever seen. So fucking bright it could've probably made any lamp feel incredibly useless.
"Sure thing, man," he said, his voice rich and full of life. He patted Bakugou on the shoulder twice, the strength of his arm easy to remark without it being too much for Bakugou to handle. He quite liked having that kind of weight on his, pressed on his skin.
Their eyes stayed connected for a bit longer, a few seconds at most, before both of them moved away, Kirishima turning his body halfway towards the customers he's been talking to before Bakugou interrupted him, and Bakugou continuing his walk out the door.
Nothing stopped him this time.
He glanced at the door before he let go of it, seeing Kirishima's vibrant hair colour even though the dirty mirror, the sound of it closing being louder than he anticipated.
He stayed there for a bit, right in front of the coffee shop, blocking the entrance, his phone still in his hand, the contact list visible to anyone who passed by him. And there, right in the middle of the pace, two centimeters away from his thumb, stood Kirishima's name.
Well, not actually his name, but a nickname Bakugou saw fit. 'Shitty hair' - what a horrible nickname. But Bakugou liked it.
Despite everything that happened that day, the stupid nickname did it. It made him smile. Properly. So brutally genuine it should've made him sick.
As he moved his thumb across the screen, he realized something. He didn't regret going inside that coffee shop. At all. Not even 0.001% of him.
He tossed the phone back in his pocket and started to use his feet. The laptop on his back was heavy enough to be a constant reminder of the reason why he left the house, but Bakugou didn't feel like writing anymore.
He wasn't in the mood to murder anyone at that moment. Just wanted to go home, throw himself on the bed and shout at Todoroki to get the fuck out of his room so he could text Kirishima without any distractions.
He liked this plan. He really, really liked this plan
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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years
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Tag, You’re It!: Shinsou x Witch!Reader
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Summary: After training and working tirelessly thanks to Aizawa, you, Reader-chan, missing Robichaux, have had enough with all the work and decide it's time to give yourself and your beloved classmates a damn break! And you suggest playing a game to your best friends Shinsou, Midoriya and Todoroki, in hopes to have fun and teach Todoroki how to have 'fun'. So you present a game you call 'Quirk Tag' where it's a version of Tag that lets your classmates and friends use their quirks to tag and run away from whoever is 'it'. At first nobody is on board, especially not Bakugou, but you manage to use your witchy ways to persuade them and when the game is on, it's SO on.
There’s some teasing between you Todoroki and Bakugou but this is definitely more of a Shinsou x Reader.
Part of my BNHA x Witch!Reader series:https://chocolatekitsune.tumblr.com/post/180883516269/bnha-x-witchreader
Part 1: You’re It!
“Ugh. I’m bored… someone do something, ANYTHING even remotely interesting!” You exclaimed, currently in your hero costume with the rest of your classmates spread out to train and work on their quirks and to practice with saving people or something at the Ground Beta. But the only ones close in your vicinity were your best friend Shinsou, your ‘other best friend’ Midoriya, and Todoroki, who you decided was your official 'third best friend’ because Madison proved to be a shitty third best friend and was now your 'fourth best friend'.
Speaking of which, she was thankfully busy (reluctantly) helping Cordelia and Zoe with ‘witch matters’ somewhere at the Miyagi Prefecture. And you had to admit, you were enjoying almost every moment apart from her, but at the same time… she made things interesting at times. Her bitchiness made things fun… but unfortunately, none of your classmates and especially neither Aizawa or Shinsou could say the same. They hated her.
“We’re training.” Surprisingly, Todoroki was the first one to respond to you, and you replied with a gasp of faked shock at his very simple, blatant response.
“WHAAAAAAT?! What are we doing Todoroki?!”
“We’re training…” He repeated himself, and the somewhat muddled look on his face made it seem as if he thought you seriously didn’t hear what he had said.
“Sarcasm is a foreign language to you isn’t it?” You asked calmly, before suddenly shouting at the top of your lungs, “I KNOW we’re training dude! I’m not an idiot!” Todoroki wasn’t surprised by the way you yelled, since you were the second loudest student of Class 1-A behind Bakugou. However, he did give you a subtle, yet stoic look of annoyance with how you raised your voice at him and so randomly, just to get your point across.
On the other hand, Shinsou sighed at your behavior. It wasn’t unexpected though, he’s known you since grade school and you were always like that, but at times it got a little bit grating.
“Still so loud… you really haven’t changed at all haven’t you?” He kind of teased you even with his casual lazy tone, and you could practically feel his smirk as he you narrowed your eyes slightly at him. “Hey watch it Toshi or I’ll feed you cat food…” Gently, you warned him, but his smirk didn’t go away. He knew it was always an empty threat since neither one of you would ever truly hurt each other, if anything the two of you would just play harmless pranks on each other and that was it.
“Um… (Y/N), sorry but… we are training, and I’m sure Mr. Aizawa wouldn’t want us to fool around when we’re supposed to be improving on our quirks.” Midoriya said to you politely, but of course, you didn’t want to hear it. And that crazy look in your eye was making him tremble.
“You need to stop talking Greenie or I’m gonna gut-punch you.” You lightly threatened him, even holding up your fist as he flinched in shock and held his hands up in defense, and immediately started protesting before you just patted him on the head. “Just kidding… but seriously… don’t talk to me about ‘training’. Let me be bored! We’ve been training ever since we got in this damn school… even Hitoshi and he just recently got transferred into our class so now he’s stuck training constantly with us too…” You muttered in annoyance.
 “When I trained at Robichaux’s we actually had FUN when we trained and enjoyed ourselves because we could express ourselves and show off our powers, and not to mention the girls at least had more interesting things to talk about… and on top of that Ms. Cordelia never slept while we were training like Mr. Aizawa's doing right now…” As you talked, it made Midoriya a little nervous even though everyone knew how brutally honest and sharp you could be when it came to expressing your opinions about people. And he was also scared that with how loud you were being that you would wake Aizawa from his nap, since he had been looking more tired than normal after endless working and training. The last thing they needed was a grouchy Aizawa, which is why Midoriya REALLY hoped you weren't planning anything crazy.
“So... you’re saying that you’re bored of this school.” Shinsou deducted, his tone a little bit blunt even though secretly he could understand your boredom. It got a little tedious at times until the ‘fun’ stuff was taught.
“Little bit.” You replied, just as bluntly which made Midoriya flinch a little bit. He relished nearly every moment here at UA, to hear you become so bored of it honestly surprised him. Though it made him wonder what it was like at Robichaux, which apparently had nothing but other witches there with similar gifts not unlike quirks. He nearly shuddered at the thought, given that the only witches he knew were you, Cordelia and Madison Montgomery. And the three of you were powerful and downright terrifying when you wanted to be.
Placing your hands together mischievously, you smirked deviously at Shinsou, Midoriya and Todoroki. “Let’s play a game with the class…”
It was such a sudden suggestion, and it confused the three boys in front of you. “A game?” Midoriya asked you in bewilderment, did you really suggest that?
“You’re not serious (L/N).” Todoroki knew you could be childish at times, but he was really hoping you weren’t serious.
“Yes she is.” Shinsou quickly stated that for you to the two-toned boy as you snickered and nodded, “Hahahahaha~ Yes… yes I am he is RIGHT~.” Your snickers turned into a cackle that was beginning to scare Midoriya, “She’s doing that laugh…” Midoriya mumbled fearfully to the two other boys, because that cackle almost never implied anything good…
“HAHAHAHAHAHA~!” You threw your hands in the air, letting out your evil laugh before clasping them together. “Let’s play ‘Tag’.” Quickly you suggested that game, but only Todoroki didn’t seem to know what you meant.
“Tag?” He asked. Todoroki has certainly heard of the game before, but because his father forced him to train and never allowed him to play with other children growing up, he never actually played any games of the sort.
“You don’t know what Tag is?” However, you were shocked that Todoroki DIDN’T know the game, and he shook his head calmly in response, which made you groan, “UGH! Toto you’re killin’ me! You’re mysterious enough but don’t be boring too! You can be mysterious all you want, but you can’t be mysterious AND boring, because those two things just don’t go together!” Once again, you raised your voice slightly at your third best friend, and once again managing to annoy him.
“I have heard of it. I just, never played it before.” He made sure to remain calm with you, which was amusing to Shinsou since he’s put up with your behavior for the longest time and it was fun seeing everyone else have to do the same. Midoriya however, was just too kind and polite to really talk back to you and was always tolerant of people with outspoken personalities.
“Well it’s fun. See you just touch someone.” You put your hand on Shinsou’s shoulder as an example, “And then you say ‘TAG! You’re it!’ and then you run away…” It was so simple, but you didn’t remove your hand from your best friend’s shoulder.
“That’s it?” Todoroki didn’t sound enthralled nor entertained by the idea, because that sounded like such a basic set of rules. And you pouted when it clearly didn’t amuse him.
Nervously, Midoriya chuckled, “It’s a simple game but… a lot of kids play it because admittedly… it was fun to play. I played it a lot with Kacchan… he would always tag me if he saw me. And I played it with (Y/N) once, she was really good at it… those were fun times.” He tried to back you up, even though his statement about how ‘a lot of kids’ played it didn’t help. It was time to up the anti.
“Yeah it’s fun! Cuz the thing is you gotta get away from whoever is ‘It’, when you get tagged you gotta find someone else to ‘tag’ and just stay away until the time is up! It’s fun! Cuz you don’t know who you can trust, and you gotta haul ass when you see the one who’s ‘it’ coming after ya cuz they wanna come getcha. But it’s fun being ‘it’ too when you freak the others out and determine who you want to be ‘it’ and just get em!” You explained it a bit more, but of course Todoroki remained unyielding and looked almost less amused now. Shinsou was though despite the lack of emotion on his face, and he secretly enjoyed feeling your hand on his shoulder even as you tightened it a little bit when you got enthusiastic about the game.
“It sounds childish.” And Todoroki’s icy cold blunt spear stabbed you in the chest, and that kind of annoyed you.
“It’s called having FUN you walking Pepsi can!” Came your loud reply as you stuck your tongue at him. “You should try it sometime.” Shinsou decided to back you up by making that smart-aleck remark to Todoroki, much to his hidden annoyance and Midoriya's slowly growing anxiety since he knew Todoroki didn't care for your name-calling.
“And you’re going to.” Grinning at the IcyHot boy, you raised your arms as to signal the entire class.
“HEY! HEY BITCHES!” You suddenly called everyone with a big smile on your face, especially when you saw some irritated looks from Iida, Bakugou, Yaoyorozu and Jirou, as they did NOT appreciate being called ‘bitches’, but they still looked at you, wondering what you wanted THIS time. Everyone else began to huddle up to hear you out.
“I’m bored as hell. We gotta do something a little less dull. And I have a proposition… that we play Tag!” Cheerfully you clapped your hands at the thought, and you were given some hella confused and baffled murmurs from your classmates.
“Wait… you mean Tag? As in ‘Tag You’re It’? Really?” Kaminari sounded amused, yet that didn’t sound like a terrible idea.
“Is she serious…?” Jirou asked the girls, but only Mina and Hagakure appeared excited.
“I love that game! It was so fun to run around so you wouldn’t be ‘it’!” Mina’s excitement made you giddy, at least SOMEONE liked the idea. “I miss it! I’m with her on that!” Hagakure then exclaimed, and you had to wonder if SHE was ever it… she could easily beat everyone at Tag with her invisibility…
“I’ve only ever seen the other children play that game… but… unfortunately I’ve never really played it myself.” Yaoyorozu’s statement reminded you of Todoroki’s, and you pouted a bit. Figures that the rich girl probably never participated (or got to) in ‘common children’s games’. “You’re suggesting that we play a game that children play?” And you really didn’t like that question.
“Last time I checked we’re still children girl… say what you want but dammit I wanna play a game!” You exclaimed but proved her point by coming off as somewhat childish.
“Technically that’s true, we are still minors, but at this age we are expected to act more mature than that. Playing a game of tag, while it is fun, isn’t exactly what people would consider mature, especially not when kids our age are playing it, ribbit.” Tsuyu pointed out, and of course she had a point, but you didn’t want to admit that she had that point.
“It does sound like a fun idea though! I mean I wouldn’t mind playing, it’s been a long time since we got to have fun together as a class after all.” Uraraka chirped and smiled, and you gave her a thumbs-up, “YES! That’s it! Way to go Rara! Backing me up!”
“Wow… I haven’t played that since 3rd grade…” Kirishima nearly snickered, even though you were serious about it and he wouldn’t lie, tag WAS a pretty fun game. He actually kind of wanted to play it now.
“You can’t be fucking serious. What are you a goddamn 5-year-old?” Bakugou growled, looking extra irked that you had interrupted his training time just to suggest a fucking game of TAG.
“YOU’RE a goddamn 5-year-old!” Was your immediate response as you pointed at him. Turning his insults on him was often your go-to move, and it never failed to piss off your explosive frenemy.
“I’m not the dumbass who suggested a fucking game of tag Witch Bitch!” He yelled at you fast, and to shut him up you used Concilium, taking control over his mind a little bit as you made him cover his own mouth with his hand.
“MMMM!? HMM! MMM!!MMMMMFFF!!” Bakugou’s eyes were wide and wild as his screams and shouts became muffled by his own hand that he couldn’t remove even if he tried thanks to your mental hold on him.
“Kacchan! (Y-Y/N)!” Midoriya got worried for his ‘best friend’ as he gave you a pleading look, but you just scoffed and rolled your eyes, obviously not going to let him go anytime soon.
“W-Whoa! Hey (Y/N) maybe uh… maybe you don’t need to go that far?” Kirishima asked you politely and nervously, because he was worried about his friend too with you using your powers on him like that.
“S’T UHH D’KU! S'TTY H’R!!” You could hear Bakugou yell ‘Shut up’ at the two, but you didn’t listen to NEITHER of them.
“Thank you for your consideration Bakugou but please, don’t talk with your mouth full it’s gross.” You smiled at him as his screams somehow got louder even with his hand blocking his voice. He was tough… you almost lost your hold on him because he was clearly trying to break your hold with his strong will. “Hey chill out dude… the longer you fight it, the more it’ll hurt you. I can easily cook your brains into fried pork if I wanted to, but I DON’T, I don’t wanna turn your brains into fried pork, so kindly… chill out.” You threatened him to make him calm down, but all he did was glare and snarl at you, reluctantly forcing himself to NOT attack you as you let him go and he was able to move his hand again and take it away from his mouth.
And you succeeded in scaring your classmates again (sans Bakugou). They’ve seen you use Concilium before and they compared it to Shinsou’s Brainwashing, but unlike Brainwashing, you could pretty much make someone do WHATEVER you wanted them to do with no limitations, and you could harm people mentally through breaking their will or fatally injuring their brains if they refused. Also, Concilium could either put someone in a trance or keep them aware depending on how you used it. It seemed villainous, the way you used it but they didn’t dare say that to your face.
But your mood flipped from threatening to excited in a matter of seconds.
“Okay~ So yeah! C’mon guys let’s play Tag! But it’ll be different! It’ll be something I call ‘Quirk Tag’! We can each use our quirks to help us tag each other! It’ll be more fun that way! And yes I can play because I’m the one who suggested it. Yes I technically DON’T have a quirk but I’m a bad witch with powers so I can totally play.” As you explained your idea, everyone didn’t look on board since it sounded weird, the way you said it.
“(L/N)! This is our time to be training! We can’t just stop what we’re doing just to play a game as elementary school as Tag…” Iida asserted his authority as class rep by politely turning down your suggestion, but…
“Okay… so we’re in agreement here, we’re gonna play the game.” You deliberately disregarded the class rep’s words as always.
“What? No! We are most certainly not in agreement at all! You just ignored everything I said!” Iida said, completely annoyed because you always did this, and for some reason he could never win these arguments because of how persistent you were.
“Right, that means we’re in an agreement.” Smirking, you patted him on the back and chuckled in amusement, and then you shot a somewhat sinister grin at your classmates, and they didn’t like it…
“Yes. We are.” Shinsou knew better though and stood by your side even if your suggestion was kind of stupid and childish. But you ALWAYS made sure to do what you wanted, because when you set your mind to something… there was no stopping you.
“(Y/N)… exactly what is the purpose of this game you want us to play?” Todoroki asked you, making sure to be polite despite being clearly skeptical.
“Oh right, sorry Toto I forgot you don’t know how to have fun.” You chuckled, and that remark did make Todoroki frown a little bit indignantly.
“Tag’s just for fun, but since I’m talking to a bunch of busy-bodies, instead just think of this game as a test of our evasion skills, dodging villain attacks and onslaughts are super important, aren’t they? Plus, it’ll also enable us to improve on our sneak attacks. I know heroes are big on honor but I’m a witch, bitches.” You smiled wide, much to the annoyance of the rest of Class 1-A because of how you kind of insulted them called them ‘bitches’ again.
“We’re sneaky and occasionally manipulative, I’m sure you’ve all picked that up.” The sounds of agreement and annoyance indicated that yes, your classmates were all very aware of your penchant for manipulation, deception and sneak attacks, which admittedly they initially viewed as too ruthless or underhanded, but your acts of heroism and compassion made them see that you were, at your core, a decent person aspiring to be a hero.
“So yeah, this will help you guys with sneaking and evading. Which will come in PRETTY useful when you’re going after a villain trying to make a get-away, plus if you want to get strategic you can sneak and come up with a battle plan to get em.” As you spoke, you walked closer to Bakugou, whose fierce eyes burned into your visage with how close you’d gotten.
“Look we need a goddamn break, and a little bit of fun never hurt anyone don’t you think?” This time you sounded softer, even giving Bakugou a smile that wasn’t one of your casual, mischievous ones.
“Tch… yeah right... you’re such an idiot (Y/N)…” He averted your gaze and scoffed at your dumb suggestion since his main priority was to get stronger. Even though he’d never admit it, but he kinda-sorta respected you because you were so strong in terms of power and personality. Of course, that also meant that he still wanted to fight you since you were one of his rivals besides Midoriya and Todoroki.
Right now, though, he found it in him to look at you again, and you locked your smile with his scowl. For once you shared a calm moment with the angry blonde who looked somewhat awkward…
But that moment was shot to hell once you made your next sudden move by placing your hand on his shoulder.
“TAG! You’re it!!”
Like the wind, you teleported fast away from a very surprised Bakugou, his red eyes going wide as you took off running once you were away from him, “HEY! What the fuck Witch Bitch?! What the hell did you do?!”
“NO TAG BACKS!! TWENTY MINUTES! LAST ONE WHO’S IT WHEN THE TIME’S UP IS THE LOSER!! RUUUUUUUUN~!” You shouted, the rest of the class looking just as wide-eyed and surprised now that you officially started the game. “C’mon Hitoshi!” However, you quickly went back to grab Shinsou by the hand and ran away, well actually you just dragged him because he just sighed, feeling annoyed as he lazily kept up with you until you teleported him and yourself away from everyone else.
“What?! Run?!” Midoriya was baffled and in shock with how you just disappeared after starting the game and based on everyone else’s shock, they found themselves trapped in the game.
“Huh?! So, we’re playing for real?!” Kaminari exclaimed and looked quite excited as the adrenaline kicked in, and he couldn't help but take off running in your direction, and after many dubious looks they all decided to follow.
“I think so! Aww man Bakugou's it! We gotta go guys!” Kirishima warned everyone, since Bakugou WAS it, and although many appeared unsure, the more rambunctious ones took off running as fast as they could, and then the more serious ones, even the ever-so-stoic Todoroki and Tokoyami started following, since they had no choice now that everyone else had started running away from Bakugou.
The game was on.
“C’mon Let’s Go!”
“Oh it’s on now!”
"Good Grief..."
"Oh boy..."
*sigh*
“LET’S HURRY UP!”
“Ribbit!”
“A game that brings out the darkness within us…”
“Classmates! Stop! Stop running away this instant! We can’t just-!” Iida tried to regain control over the situation, but everyone already took off running. Frustrated, he let out a small shout as he reluctantly ran after some to try and get them to STOP.
“YOU IDIOTS! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL GOING?! GET YOUR ASSES BACK OVER HERE!! Growling and shouting in frustration, Bakugou trembled with a fiery rage now that he was stuck in this stupid game as he looked in every direction, fists clenched and practically ready to kill the first person who came to his visage. “DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!!”
He couldn’t believe he let you trick him like that! He was SO going to kill you…
However, amidst the chaos remained Midoriya because everyone had moved so fast and so suddenly that he just couldn’t run away fast enough, and he was left standing and trembling as soon as Bakugou spotted him.
“K-Kacchan…” Midoriya shook like a leaf and before he could even attempt to get away, the blonde relentlessly came after him and slapped him on the back with a small (but painful) explosion to knock him off his feet as the green-haired boy shouted in the pain that came with the blow.
“TAG! YOU’RE FUCKING IT DEKU!!” And Bakugou took off sprinting away from the smaller boy, “I’m coming for you next Witch Bitch! You hear me?! I’LL KILL YOU!!” He then shouted for you, wherever you were at, as Midoriya grunted and whimpered in mild pain where he lied…
Once you had gotten far away enough from Bakugou and the rest of your other classmates, you took Shinsou to hide with you behind one of the many buildings, giggling hard as you tried to quell your laughter with both hands, feeling the excitement you had been looking for, especially now that Bakugou was it. It felt like your childhood all over again whenever you pissed him off on purpose and got him to chase you…
“So... is this the rush you were looking for?” Shinsou asked you, standing right next to you as you snickered so hard your shoulders were shaking. “Yes! It’s working Hitoshi! People are ACTUALLY playing now! Finally~!”
“You know that Mr. Aizawa’s going to be pissed right?” He asked you with a small smirk, crossing his arms since the man had been sleeping while you guys trained because he expected Iida to keep everyone in check. However, as long as you were in the class, you would never let Iida keep you in check.
“Yup. But it’s worth it… he’s always pissed at what I do, but he’ll forgive me cuz he loves me and would do anything for me.” You said confidently about your dad-figure. But boy… Aizawa WAS going to be SO pissed after this. “And if I wanted to I can just always tell Ms. Cordelia on him…” You added with a shrug of your shoulders and a smirk, since your mom-figure knew how to get Aizawa to take it easy on you, even if it annoyed him sometimes with how she defended you, the ‘child’.
Shinsou chuckled lightly in amusement, “Whatever you say (Y/N)… but I’m not going to help you or bail you out if you get in trouble.” He said to you, and you pouted a bit.
“Aww Toshi… boo~. Fine, then I’m not gonna invite you to watch The Aristocats with me in my room tonight.” You threatened, but then you quickly hugged his arm. “Just kidding I will~.” Giggling you nuzzled his shoulder affectionately since nobody was around to see (not that you cared, but Shinsou did), and you snickered when you saw a bit of redness creeping up on his pale cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free arm, feeling awkward as he suddenly lost the ability to look you in the eyes when a rare bit of bashfulness came in.
You were so annoying when you wanted to be, and yet he was still so marveled by you because you were his best friend and you were always there for him during his most insecure days during middle school. He never told anyone, even though he knew his parents knew, but it broke his heart when you left to Robichaux three years ago, and he felt more alone than ever without you. Sure, he still texted you and called you, but deep down, he wanted you there with him. Nobody would ever be able to tell, but ever since you came back to Japan, he was overjoyed to have you back in his life. If there was one person in the world Shinsou trusted the most and valued the most, it was you. It was your smiles and dumb jokes that melted the steel of his guarded heart. You knew him so well. You KNEW he loved that movie because you knew he loved cats, especially Marie.
“(Y/N)…“ He wanted to tell you something, but unfortunately his opportunity was foiled once someone else’s oncoming footsteps distracted you and made you gasp and widen your eyes.
“Oh look there’s Todoroki! PSSST! TOTO!!” You whisper-yelled and vigorously waved once you saw Todoroki run past the building you were hiding behind, and once he heard you, he was quick to make his way over as discreetly as possible. Even though the game was stupid, he found himself forced into it and having to keep away from whoever was ‘it’.
“Don’t just call him to our spot when we’re trying to stay hidden…” Shinsou mildly scolded you, feeling irritated now that he was no longer alone with you, and on top of that it just had to be Todoroki who you had to call. Hoping to calm your bestie, you nervously smiled and giggled.
“Sorry… but he’s an ally.” You weakly defended, even though Shinsou knew that Todoroki was YOUR friend, and not his. If anything, he and Todoroki tolerated each other at best because they were both friends with you.
“Having fun~?” You asked your third best friend happily, but his serious demeanor gave you your answer.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this training… it seems pointless, and juvenile based on what Midoriya and Yaoyorozu said.” He bluntly said. Not that you could tell, but Todoroki was exasperated with the fact that everyone was playing now, and he knew he shouldn’t have even participated but nobody gave him a choice. And he didn’t see the point other since it was basically just running away.
“Training?! Dude forget about that shit for just a little bit, this is just for fun~! It’s all about the thrill of the chase and trying to sneak up on someone and catch ‘em!” You laughed and playfully, but lightly smacked his shoulder.
“Fun…” He repeated what you had said and thought about your earlier remark when you said he ‘didn’t know how to have fun’. For a moment, he was almost determined to prove you wrong as you kept laughing. Todoroki had to admit. You were contagious, ever since he fought you at the Sports Festival and became his friend right after Midoriya, you were so full of spirit and took nobody’s nonsense. Yet compassionate and… fun.
“HAHAHA~! C’mon Toto let’s go! We can’t stay here forever!” You got away from the corner, taking the half-and-half user by the hand, pulling him away from the building and into the light to take off running. Todoroki grunted as he was pulled and touched, a bit surprised with the way your fingers felt on his colder ones, but to avoid getting distracted he followed you, “Toshi! You too c’mon, c’mon!” Your best friend felt dubious but he complied and quickly followed you and Todoroki, whom he exchanged glances with before they both started running and following you. And although he hid his envy well, Shinsou made sure to remain closer to you, giving Todoroki a few dour looks as the latter returned the favor with a solemn expression.
As you ran with your two friends, you saw Kaminari running with Sero. “Kaminari! Sero!” You waved to the cheerful boys. “Hey! (Y/N)!” Kaminari grinned as he waved at you.
“Do ya’ll know whose it now?!”
“Last I heard it was Midoriya!” Sero answered you first, and you nearly perked up, along with Todoroki.
“As soon as Bakugou saw him he was the first one he tagged!” Kaminari added, and you sighed in annoyance before it quickly became sympathy for your poor second best friend.
“Aww man Greenie..." You shook your head, “Well! Stay away from Izuku guys! He’s it!” You shouted for anyone else in the vicinity, many of whom started to run or hide away.
“This is where we hide or run!” You enthusiastically instructed Todoroki, who understood now that he knew that Midoriya was currently ‘it’ and probably looking for someone to supposedly ‘tag’. “So Midoriya’s it.” Todoroki sighed, feeling bad for the poor guy since apparently Bakugou tagged him immediately. “Now I have to evade him.” His tone clearly showed that he felt bad for having to run away from his friend, but that just made you laugh.
“Hey he's still our friend but in this game you gotta run or keep up bro. See you!” You grinned and winked at him before taking Shinsou’s hand and teleporting him and yourself away somewhere else, earning yet another look of mild surprise from Todoroki and a small smirk from Shinsou.
However, Todoroki took a moment to himself and smiled a little bit. “So it’s like that…” He seemed to get it now, even though he still planned on taking this game seriously.
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yesyesyoumae · 5 years
Text
Your lips, they got me going → Stae (Stevie & Mae)
Tagging → @yesyesyoumae @streetsmartstevie
Location → A house party somewhere in New York City
Date → December 11, 2018
Summary → Stevie and Mae have a knack for running into each other at parties, don’t they? Well, their argument of the week takes a different turn. Things change and realizations are made and messiness ensues. 
STEVIE
Stevie was already rocking a slight buzz as she refilled her cup, but she didn't have to be in the shop next morning and the alcohol wasn't hers, so she didn't mind too much. And, hell, it was her birthday. She was allowed to have fun on her birthday, particularly now that she was legal. Not that it had ever stopped her before, but still. At least now she could buy whiskey at the grocery store. Slipping out of the kitchen, Stevie looked around the apartment-- it was a cool place, though she kinda assumed it would be. The house party was being hosted by one of her friends from the tattoo shop's artist friends and it was always interesting for her to see how other artists live. Sipping her drink, Stevie wandered through the house and accidentally bumped into someone. "Sorry..."
MAE
Although it was a Tuesday, Mae didn’t have to work at Gymboree tomorrow and she didn’t have an early morning class (and she could always skip it), so here she was at a house party. One of her good friends that she had an education class with had a boyfriend who was throwing the party and begged Mae to come and be her dance partner for the night. Mae easily agreed since usually came to parties to only dance, but her friends were also great at tempting her with drinks. Now, Mae was a little tipsy and her inhibitions were much lower. Her friends used the excuse that she needed to feel better because of her break up with Stacey, so drinking and partying was a good way to get there. Mae wasn’t all that upset over the break up. Sure, she was upset at herself that she couldn’t, for some reason, make it work, but she wasn’t upset that they were over. It was inevitable, Mae realized.
Getting off the hot and sweaty dance floor, Mae made herself a quick drink and was about to walk over to a few friends to wind down and talk when she felt someone bump into her, causing her to spill her drink on herself. Mae squealed when she felt the stickiness of the drink on her skin and the large stain forming on her chest. This was her favorite shirt to wear, too! It was an accident, though, she wasn’t going to get mad—
Mae suddenly made eye contact with the culprit. Stevie.
On second thought, Mae was pretty pissed. This WAS her favorite shirt, after all. “You fucking should be.” Mae spat, reaching for napkins to clean herself up. “You have eyes, Stevie. Use them.” Mae glared at Stevie, feeling her insides boil at the sight of the blonde.
STEVIE
As soon as Stevie heard Mae's voice, she closed her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek. Of all the fucking people in the world, it had to be Mae, huh? Of all the fucking people. Unbelievable. All she'd wanted was to go out, have a nice drink far, far away from her sisters, and enjoy being able to sleep in tomorrow. That was all she wanted. And now she was here, stuck with Mae, who seemed hell bent on making her life miserable. Which, did she deserve it? Maybe, cuz she might have pushed Mae's buttons a bit too far from time to time. But that was ages ago! And yet, Mae was still pissed off at her, still determined to make everything her fault. Which was complete and utter bullshit. It wasn't Stevie's fault that Mae had a fucking shit relationship with her family...
"Oh fuck you." Stevie said, irritation clear in her voice as she opened her eyes to glare back at Mae. "I was using them. To look at the fucking art. A lot better to look at than this mess." She said, gesturing to Mae's now ruined shirt. Did she feel bad about it? Nope, not at all. What the hell was Mae even doing here anyways? This wasn't her scene.
MAE
Mae huffed, angrily trying to clean herself up as Stevie easily found a way to make her more and more irritated. “I can imagine.” Mae hummed. “It’s fun to look at art you’ll never be able to do, huh?” Mae smirked, knowing it would piss off Stevie. Mae always found some weird satisfaction in getting Stevie riled up.
Mae looked at Stevie with a glare. There was something about Stevie that had Mae so easily frustrated, yet, at the same time, so easily honest. Usually, Mae was always just nice. Even to people who were testing her niceness or even when she didn’t feel like being nice. But with Stevie that quickly crumbled and if Mae was irritated, Stevie would be very much aware it was her fault because it usually was.
“The least you could do is apologize for spilling my drink, asshole.” Mae told her, throwing the napkins away and groaning at the huge stain. “This was my favorite shirt, too, fucking hell.” Mae scoffed.
STEVIE
Gritting her teeth, Stevie glanced back at the painting she'd been looking at. Mae had a point. She'd never been good at abstract art-- it just wasn't something she understood from a creating stand point. She needed to have a solid mental image in her mind to paint something and abstract? There was nothing solid about it. Sucking in a breath, Stevie took a sip from her cup and cast Mae a relaxed look, though her fingers were clenched tightly around the plastic. "That's how people learn, asshole. By observing. Some of us don't feel the need to run our fucking mouths a mile a minute." She replied.
Glancing at Mae's shirt, a slight pang of guilt hit her, but Stevie brushed it off. Mae was mad about her shirt? Fuck her. She'd done way worse herself, and on purpose. "Well damn. I wonder how it feels to have something you really really like, completely trashed because someone's hand slipped. I mean, I wouldn't be able to relate at all-- except I know first fucking hand. So quit whining. At least you don't have coffee dripping down your back." Stevie growled. "So no. No apologies are coming your way."
MAE
Mae smiled smugly at Stevie’s response and hummed before flicking off Stevie calmly. “Dickhead.” Mae responded, finding it easier to just respond with names when she couldn’t come up with a witty response (Mae wasn’t a witty person to begin with).
Mae listened to Stevie before laughing as Stevie recalled the coffee incident Mae no longer felt guilt for. “That little thing still has you all riled up? You know, everything you were wearing wasn’t that cute to begin with and I was doing you a favor. If you want me to apologize, I probably did some time ago, but if you want the second, more sincere apology, good luck.” Mae rolled her eyes. “Fine, don’t apologize.” Mae shrugged. “It’s not like there’s much we can expect from you that’s gonna make us proud anyway.”
STEVIE
"Bitch." Stevie growled. The way Mae just stared back at her, all smug, it pissed her off. And her lack of remorse for dumping fucking coffee all over her just made things worse. On the one hand, some small part of Stevie was glad to see that Mae had shed her stupid, please-everyone persona. But, that didn't mean she had to like this bitchy part of her either.
Stevie's lips pressed together in a thin line at Mae's jab and did her best to brush the comment off. But, the back of her neck burned in anger all the same. "You know what? Fuck you and fuck all the bullshit you've been throwing at me. None of that shit is my fault." Stevie said. "Sort your own shit out before you try to pick a fight with me."
MAE
Mae rolled her eyes. “Yup.” Mae scoffed, shaking her head. “Don’t wear that name out, 85 and a half.” Mae chuckled dryly.
Mae’s jaw clenched and scoffed again. “Well have you ever considered how YOU’RE the one I have an issue with? You’re just so…” Mae groaned in frustration. “It IS your fault, everything is your fault! You ruined shit for me! I can’t…I wouldn’t say ANY of this. I was fine the way I was and then you come in and give your opinion that I never wanted and now I don’t…well maybe you should have kept the same energy with me and minded your business. Because now I don’t know how I feel about you.” Mae sighed. “And it’s frustrating because you’re so…an asshole.” Mae shook her head. “You pushed and pushed and now you’re mad I’m upset about it? You should’ve just stepped the fuck back.”
STEVIE
Stevie rolled her eyes as she inspected her cup, downing what remained of her drink in a single gulp. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Stevie shoved her hand into the pocket of her leather jacket with an indifferent shrug. "All I wanted you to do was quit pretending to be such a fucking ray of sunshine all the time. Which, no regrets, I still stand by that. That wasn't an excuse to be a raging asshole to me. There's gotta be some kind of in between with you, Gymboree." Stevie said, the nickname slipping out without her really even meaning to use it. "And, it seems pretty clear how you feel about me, given you like to freak out and yell at me at every opportunity." She replied.
MAE
That stupid nickname. Mae thought to herself, already finding herself getting angrier just from the name drop alone. Why did she even agree to the stupid name in the first place and went along with it? Mae pursed her lips as she took a step closer to Stevie. “I told you to stop calling me that.” Mae glared at her. “But, of course, you don’t listen. Because you don’t care to hear anyone else’s voice but your own. You’re so frustrating, God. All I wanted to do was be nice to you and you just came in and decided to fuck around and mess up everything I worked hard towards building. And I’m talking right now and you probably still don’t care. Because that’s who you are and it pisses me off.”
STEVIE
Tilting her head to the side, she offered an unimpressed eyebrow raise in response to Mae's outrage. She just had to ride out this fresh wave of bullshit and outrage and once Mae wore herself out on berating her, it would all be over. Great. This was exactly how she wanted to spend her birthday. "Mhm, yeah, tell me how I don't listen. Like, how I didn't listen when you decided to unload all your baggage on me. Or how I didn't listen when you told me not to tell anyone about said baggage. I totally don't listen." Stevie said with an irritated frown. For fucks sake, it seemed like she did nothing but listen to Mae. "Well, congrats, Gymboree," Stevie enunciated the nickname clearly this time, "on finally learning that you really can't like everyone. Glad I could help you learn this very valuable lesson."
MAE
Mae’s jaw clenched when Stevie dropped the name again and did the typical Stevie thing of throwing stuff back to her. “See?!” Mae exclaimed. “See how you just—you—UGH.” Mae groaned in frustration, taking another step closer to Stevie, only inches away from her. “And I told you to stop fucking calling me that, you make me SO— “Mae paused, trying to think deeply about this. Yeah, what did Stevie make her feel? Angry? Frustrated? Mae ran her eyes over Stevie. Upset? Pissed? None of those words, as hard as Mae tried to fit them, exactly encaptured what she felt about Stevie and that only confused her even more. “I just wanna— “Mae tried once more to say something but, nope, nothing came to mind. Mae shook her head, groaning in frustration. What did she want to say? That’s when she noticed how close she was to Stevie. When the fuck did that happen? Mae gave Stevie another look over before suddenly, impulsively, angrily, maybe even stupidly, pulled Stevie in for a heated kiss.
STEVIE
Stevie barely registered how close Mae was to her, she was too busy trying to make sense of the other girl's jumbled thoughts. It didn't make any fucking sense, none of this made any sense. Before Stevie could brush Mae off, the other girl had pulled her in close for an angry kiss. What? What the fuck? What the fuck was happening here? Despite her confusion, Stevie's lips moved on their own accord, kissing Mae back with an equally bruising force, pushing her against the hallway. Shaking her head, Stevie pulled away and glared at the other girl, "What-- what the fuck?" Stevie asked, breathless and heart pounding. God, why was she fucking out of breath? And why was her heart racing like this? What the fuck was going on?
MAE
It made sense, but it didn’t make sense. The kissing was confusing, but it made sense. That’s what the back of Mae’s mind said. But the rest of Mae’s mind began blaming the alcohol, the tension...anything to justify why kissing Stevie made the most sense throughout the course of...whatever they were. When Stevie pulled away, Mae tried to catch her breath as she ran her fingers over her lips. She tried to make sense of it. Should she run? She honestly didn’t want to. “Just shut up, Stevie.” Mae mumbled before pushing Stevie towards the empty space on the nearby couch. Mae climbed on top of Stevie once Stevie plopped down on the couch and kissed her roughly again, cupping the other girl’s face while she did. “Just shut up.” Mae mumbled against her lips.
STEVIE
Stevie was too confused, her brain still trying to process what was going on through the haze of alcohol and the remnants of irritation that she'd been feeling only moments before. She didn't understand what was going on. But, when Mae pushed back against her, climbed on top of her, captured her mouth like that-- she was powerless to resist. God. This was wrong. It was wrong how right this felt. And yet, Stevie found herself kissing Mae back, threading her fingers through Mae's hair. "You shut up." Stevie growled back, nipping at Mae's bottom lip in retaliation.
MAE
Mae didn’t want to think about how messed up all of this was. She was kissing Stevie. Stevie Evans. As in, Stacey Evans’ SISTER. A Stacey Evans that Mae broke up with two weeks ago. But kissing Stevie felt more passionate in these few minutes than her entire relationship with Stacey. Her mind chanted “fuck, stop kissing her” while her heart (and other areas) kept urging her to keep going. Especially when Stevie was kissing her the way she was. Mae groaned at the nipping before smirking as she responded, “I’m not good at being quiet.” Mae retaliated, moving her lips down to Stevie’s neck. This felt good. It felt really good. Like Mae should’ve done this long before now.
STEVIE
Stevie let out a low groan as Mae began to kiss her neck-- Jesus Christ. This was so fucked up. This was Mae, as in, the girl who'd just fucking broken Stacey's heart, who Stacey was in fucking love with. Jesus. This was so wrong. And as much as she wanted to stop this, a much bigger part of her didn't want it to stop at all. "Why am I not fucking surprised." Stevie muttered, chasing Mae's lips with her own, pulling her back up for another bruising kiss.
MAE
Mae only smirked more at the rough kiss and grabbed Stevie by her leather jacket and pulled her closer. “You’re still an asshole, though.” Mae mumbled, sucking on Stevie’s lower lip gently before pulling away and humming as she whispered in Stevie’s ear. “I’m surprised you’re still talking, at this point.” She said before nibbling on Stevie’s earlobe. “Figured I’d get you to shut up by now.”
STEVIE
Stevie's bit her lip as Mae began to nibble on her ear. Fuck. God, it was so fucking frustrating that Mae was so good at this. And it didn't help that it was Mae, that fact didn't escape her. In that moment, the reality of what was happening came crashing down on her. This was Mae. Who she couldn't stand. But more importantly, one of the few people who was Off Limits. If she was Sam's ex, that would be one thing, but no. She was Stacey's. Stacey's ex. Fuck. She had to stop this. Stevie pushed Mae off her, breaking their embrace. "Stop. This... whatever this is, it can't fucking happen." Stevie said, breathlessly, her hair a tangled mess.
MAE
Mae furrowed her eyebrows in confusion when Stevie suddenly pushed her away, licking her swollen lips. Mae listened to Stevie and looked away. The alcohol blurred the complicated lines they were crossing, but Mae wanted to keep walking anyway. And she knew why. Mae liked Stevie. Maybe for longer than she wanted to admit, but she did. The alcohol helped make this admittance, but Mae knew the moment she was sober again she’d push these feelings and bury them because she couldn’t.
Stevie knew it, Mae knew it. Only difference was, Mae didn’t want to stop. Mae nodded. “I know we can’t.” Mae agreed, probably the first time she agreed on something Stevie said. Mae leaned closer again. “But I don’t want to stop.”  
STEVIE
As Mae leaned in, Stevie held her hand up and pushed the other girl's face away from her. "No, dude. This, whatever this is?" She gestured between the two of them, "Can't happen. For one, I don't need any more of your baggage fucking up my life. For another, Stacey? My sister? The girl whose heart you fucking destroyed? Definitely can't happen." Stevie said as she fixed her jacket. Running a hand through her hair, Stevie glanced over at Mae and shook her head. "Got it?" God. What a fucking birthday.
MAE
Oh, wow, that hurt a lot more than Mae expected it to. Why—oh right, because she liked Stevie. Of all fucking people. Things clicked as soon as she kissed Stevie. The inability to act like a functioning human and acting like a big asshole, feeling SO inclined to get close to Stevie and “be her friend,” the blurry lines she always experienced when it came to how she felt about Stevie…it just all made sense. God, why couldn’t she like a NICE person, instead? Mae crossed her arms and cleared her throat before nodding. “Baggage…Stacey…right.” Mae smiled tightly. “Got it.” Mae mumbled, looking away as her cheeks turned pink.
STEVIE
"Good." Stevie said as she checked her phone. Well, shit. It was later than she thought it would be and even though she had planned on having a late night ought, she didn't want to fuck up her sleep schedule that bad. Not for Mae, at least. God, if it had been anyone else to kiss her, Stevie would consider the night a win. But, nope. Not how it worked out. Feeling around in the pocket of her jacket for her keys, Stevie stood up and stared down at Mae for a long, hard moment. "If you care about my sister at all, you won't say anything about this." Stevie said, though she didn't know why she felt worried. Mae was the one who had kissed her, she didn't need to feel guilty. Yeah. This was all because of Mae. "Later." Stevie said before stalking out of the party, waving goodbye to her friend from the shop before heading towards where she'd locked up her bike.
MAE
Mae looked back at Stevie as she felt her stare and shook her head. “I wasn’t planning on it.” Mae responded in a soft voice. “Don’t worry.” Mae mumbled as she heard her friends call her over to the kitchen and was thankful she wouldn’t have to sit and actually think over everything that happened and her feelings. She could save that for another day. Mae nodded. “Uh…yeah. See ya.” Mae said hurriedly, right away heading back to the kitchen and taking a shot glass from her friend and quickly drinking it. “I’m going to need, like, three more of those.”
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rectusdominus · 5 years
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50 Questions Game
I was tagged by @lordfartwad thanks ily
1. what takes up too much of your time? panicking about things out of my control
2. what makes your day better? good music, sunshine, dancing/performing, working out and accomplishing something new
3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? nothing happened today. eating toast was the best thing to happen today.
4. what fictional place would you like to go? Pandora would be cool? idk
5. are you good at giving advice? most of my advice is useless in a practical sense, so no
6. do you have any mental illness? yeah depression, there’s definitely an anxiety related problem in there somewhere
7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no but I’ve woken up multiple times with my arm completely numb and immovable and had to manually wake it up again. not great.
8. what musician inspired you the most? Kurt Cobain which sounds cliche but it’s valid. Billie Joe Armstrong is also up there
9. have you ever fallen in love? I technically say no, but I fall in love with different things in a romantic sense every day
10. what’s your dream date? fun thing would be a concert or to the movies, dinner either at a place or outside somewhere, maybe we can just fuck around town at night and then sit outside somewhere until it’s late. I want spontaneous fun with friends or partners idk
11. what do others notice about you? don’t really know, probably how uncomfortable/unprepared I am in social situations
12. what is the annoying habit you have? there’s too much to unpack here
13. do you still talk to your first love? not applicable
14. how many ex’s do you have? not applicable
15. how many songs are on your playlist? I have too many playlists but my spotify library is maxed out at 10,000
16. what instruments can you play? I used to play clarinet but I can’t really play anything
17. who do you have the most pictures of? myself probably, I don’t have friends
18. where would you like to go before you die? Vegas again, Italy would be cool, but definitely Vegas
19. what is your zodiac? Leo
20. do you relate to it? now that I’m mentally stable? hell yeah
21. what is happiness to you? performing in front of a big crowd under lights, the thrill being on a big roller coaster on a hot summer day, watching the kids I coach succeed
22. are you going through anything right now? college stuff, getting a car/license, deciding on what I want to do in the next few years/where I want to be with myself
23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? oh I’m not going down that road but thanks for asking
24. what’s your favourite store? Journey’s even tho I never buy anything there, I really should, the stuff is cool. I’m also really into sports apparel stores idk
25. what’s your opinion on abortion? I don’t necessarily “like” it but like.. it’s a safer option in some medical scenarios and also it’s none of my business if that’s something you want to do it’s better to have the option
26. do you keep a bucket list? not for my life, but I have stuff for the year or “by the time I’m this age” I take it as it comes
27. do you have a favourite album at the moment? The Menzingers, After the Party will always be The One
28. what do you want for your birthday? a tattoo or some piercings or a car or all of the above. NO WAIT I need to go skydiving bc I didn’t do it before I turned 20 so I have to do it while I’m 20
29. what are most peoples first impression of you? uhhh idk probably uncomfortable, seems kinda closed off so possibly bitchy, and idk she dresses kinda weird but I respect it
30. what age do you seem according to most people? younger than 20 I’ll tell you that
31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? too close to my head but it’s so I hear the alarm/vibration to wake up
32. what word or phrase do you say the most? I say “dude”, “bro”, “yo”, “sweet”, “sick”, and I use the word “just” a lot in sentences for some reason. I sound like a 14 year old in 1992
33. what’s the oldest age you would date? idk 23-25? it would have to be like.. really worth it tho
34. what’s the youngest age you would date? 19, I think my limit would always be a year or two younger than me
35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? they don’t really
36. what’s your favourite music genre? rock music
37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? besides here in hell idk maybe New Zealand? I don’t like anywhere, we’re all fucked
38. what is your current favourite song? “Smile Like You Mean It” by The Killers
39. how long have you had this blog for? since early 2012 I think
40. what are you excited for? the future
41. are you a better talker or listener? listener, I can’t talk for shit
42. what is the last productive thing you did? try to make sure my college money is useful to me
43. what do you want for Christmas? a tattoo pls thanks
44. what class do you get the best grades in? apparently math? but really just the ones I care the most about
45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? maybe an 8 just because I’m content but I do seriously wish I had something to do
46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? being a choreographer/coaching, or working behind the scenes somewhere for something related to my major
47. when did you get your first heartbreak? when my parents got divorced when I was 9, but it was for the best so !! yay
48. at what age do you want to get married? when/if it’s the time but not until after I’m 30
49. what career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to blow glass or be a welder or something
50. what do you crave right now? adventure
I tag: @whatlomalikes @boodhirooks @solovalker @gayperry @kingfindekano @bicon-pappymcpoyle and anyone else idk
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whiskeyxcola · 6 years
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Yours Truly; Part Nineteen
Summary: Sadie realizes that moving on from Chris may be impossible. Pairing: Chris Pratt x OFC, Chris Evans x OFC Word Count: 2310 Warnings: None? A/N: Hope you enjoy the continuing series collab with @captain-s-rogers ​​! Don’t be afraid to ask to be on the taglist, and please let us know what you think! Also, keep an eye out for part twenty, which Ashley will be posting tomorrow! I say again … this man is hard to find gifs for!
Tags: @ellen-reincarnated1967 @crazililwabbit @catching-up-with-kayla @speakinvain @merlinlover
Masterlist
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September 8
Caroline,
Another Friday night at the Pratt farm. Chris and Emily have steadily gone out every Friday night since the school year began. While it’s absolute torture to know that their relationship seems to have been re-kindled in a strong way, I’m extremely grateful for the time with Layla. I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I’ve missed that little girl up until these Friday nights. She’s been asking for another dress lately, and the weather will be colder soon enough, so we’re going to shop tonight for some cute flannel prints, for dresses and pajamas.
I know we haven’t been able to catch each other by phone, and we probably will by the time you get this letter, but I’m so proud of you for deciding to go for what you deserve, C. You and Chris are going to be the powerhouse of this country, I can feel it. He has my vote, and not because you’re my best friend … well, not ONLY because you’re my best friend. He’s a smart guy, and I think he is going to do well. Not to mention, he’s going to have the BEST Chief of Staff in American history.
I’ll talk to you soon -- just realized I’m late leaving for the farm!
Yours truly,
Sadie
Rushing up the steps of the Pratt house, Sadie nearly tripped in an effort to get to the doorbell quickly. She apologized profusely to Chris for running late when he met her at the door.
“Honestly, I just lost track of the time,” she admitted.
“It’s all right,” he assured, a smile tugging at either end of his mouth. “Emily’s not quite ready yet, anyway.”
“Oh, good,” Sadie replied, breathing a sigh of relief.
Chris nodded. “Layla’s in her room playing -- she’s in a mood, I’ll warn you. Her homework is done, but she’s probably hungry.”
“We’ll get something in town, if that’s okay. I told her I would take her to look at flannel prints for dresses and pajamas for cold weather.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Still have the extra seat in your car?”
“I do.”
“Perfect.”
An awkward silence fell between them as they stood in the entryway. There was so much more they both had to say, but Chris was caught between a rock and a hard place, and Sadie couldn’t put her heart on the line again. Finally, when the tension came to be too much, she excused herself to go find Layla.
“You guys have fun and, uh, we’ll see you later.”
Chris gave a small wave, doing away with the disappointed look on his face as Emily met him at the door. Sadie told herself it hadn’t been disappointment, she was only seeing things; she pleaded with herself not to read more than was there into every little thing Chris did and said around her.
“Hey, Miss Layla,” she greeted, hoping that her voice didn’t sound as shaky as it felt.
Layla looked up from playing with her dolls. “Adie! I didn’t know you were here!”
The little girl’s hug was a welcome reprieve from her confusion. “Just got here, sunshine. Do you want to play some more, or are you ready for supper and the fabric store?”
“I’m ready to leave,” Layla confirmed, putting her dolls away neatly before finding her shoes.
Sadie was glad that Layla was in a good mood for her, but it made her wonder what Chris meant when he had implied a bad mood. She decided they would go for fabric first, then they would pick up a fast-food dinner and talk about things on the way home.
The opportunity came a couple of hours later, with three bags full of fabric and supplies in the trunk, and the fast food bag on the front passenger seat. Sadie looked to the back to see Layla staring out the window, mindlessly kicking her leg against her booster seat.
“So, when I got to your house tonight, your daddy said you were in a bad mood,” Sadie mentioned.
Layla’s leg stopped kicking. “He did?”
Sadie nodded. “Anything you want to talk about?”
Layla sighed. “He probably thinks I’m grumpy gills because I yelled at Mommy.”
“Why did you yell at Mommy?”
“‘Cause I was mad. She never does anything fun with me, she just yells at me. I wish she never came back! I miss you, Adie.”
“I miss you too, but we both have to do our best to help Mommy adjust to coming back, okay? We have to be patient with her. And at least we have our Friday nights, right?”
Layla nodded but didn’t say anything else. Sadie pursed her lips together as she pulled back into the driveway. She couldn’t begin to fathom what confusion Layla was experiencing, and she couldn’t find the right words to comfort her.
After supper and a bath, Layla’s good mood seemed to return. She sat on the floor of the living room playing with her dolls again, while Sadie pinned the flannel to the appropriate patterns. Chris and Emily would likely be home anytime, but Sadie wasn’t worried about getting Layla to bed; it was Friday night, and Saturday mornings were for sleeping late.
Music played lightly around them from the iPod station, and both of them sang along when they knew the words. A familiar tune started to play, and Layla’s eyes lit up.
“I know this song! It’s the one you’re always humming!” she exclaimed.
Sadie smiled, gathering up the pinned pieces and putting them in a bag to sew at home. “You’re right, it is. One of my favorites to dance to, too.”
When Chris and Emily came through the door, Layla was in Sadie’s arms, and the two of them were twirling about the kitchen, dancing to that song Sadie had always been humming. Layla scrambled back down to the ground, took Chris by the hand, and pulled him into the kitchen.
“Daddy! It’s Adie’s favorite song, the one she always hums! Dance with her!”
Chris and Sadie stood there staring at each other, both slack-jawed and trying to figure out a way to hand the situation. Emily was not far behind Chris, a definite scowl crumpling her sharp features.
“Um, you know what, it’s supposed to rain tonight, and I’d like to get home before it does,” Sadie finally said.
“Yeah, looked pretty cloudy coming up the drive,” Chris said before clearing his throat.
Sadie gathered her keys and her bag of fabric and made a quick exit out of the house and into her car. It was indeed raining by the time she got home, but that didn’t matter; she trudged into her house slowly, wishing that, somehow, the rain would wash away every feeling and every memory she had for and of Chris Pratt.
With a beer bottle in one hand and her phone in the other, Sadie plopped onto her couch and dialed Caroline’s number. She was in her pajamas and would be finding a sappy chick flick to drown her sorrows in soon enough, but she needed a quick call with her best friend first.
“Hey, C. You busy?”
“Nope, not in the slightest,” Caroline replied. “What’s up? Everything okay?”
Sadie sighed and took a long drag from her beer. “Yes. No. I don’t know. Why can’t I get over Chris?” She explained what had happened before she left the Pratt farm, about the awkward greeting when she had arrived, and about all the crying she was still doing over the man.
Caroline sighed. “You can’t get over him because you’re in love with him. It’s not like you just had a crush. That’s going to make it that much harder to get over him. Believe me, I know.”
“How did you know that it was time to do this thing with Evans?”
“I was tired of fighting against my heart. I knew I was only staying with Charlie because of convenience, and I knew Chris had my heart. There was no sense in trying to hide from it anymore. The fact that he showed up at my door and confessed how he felt just made it that much easier.”
Sadie let out a deep breath. “I don’t wanna screw up Layla’s life, either. I don’t want to deal with Emily and Libby and their bitchy, manipulative asses.”
“Emily and Libby are just a minor inconvenience,” Caroline stated. “If what you have with Pratt is the real deal, which I think it is, then their opinions won’t matter. And you know you won’t be screwing up Layla’s life. She adores you.”
Sadie sighed, opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by the knock on the door. “Just a sec.”
When she opened the door, shock was the only way to describe how she felt at seeing Chris standing there in the rain on her doorstep.
“Caroline, I gotta go. He’s -- he’s here.”
“I knew he’d come to his senses! Call me later! Good luck!”
Sadie disconnected the call, not certain at all that Chris had shown up because of the reasons Caroline presumed. She motioned for him to come in the house, though she couldn’t help but feel a little irritated.
“Don’t just stand out there in the rain,” Sadie sighed. “You need a towel.”
“I’m okay.”
“You’re dripping.” She went to the hallway closet, then back out to the living room. “Why are you here?”
Chris wiped the towel over his hair and face, then dropped it on the coffee table. “I had to talk to you.”
Sadie crossed her arms. “I told you, Chris, I can’t be the person you talk to about this. Maybe you should try talk to your wife.”
“My ex-wife,” Chris reminded her, “and I have been talking to her. Every Friday night for weeks. I’ve never told you where Emily and I were at when you were with Layla because I didn’t know how it was going to turn out. I didn’t know how you’d feel about it -- I’ve hurt you enough, Sadie. I told you I loved you and then I pulled the rug out from under you.”
“You still haven’t told me anything,” Sadie whispered. She was afraid that if she spoke any louder, her voice would break.
Chris ran his hand through his wet hair. “You’re right. Sorry. We’ve been going to counseling. Emily said she wanted things to be better, and I wanted to give it a shot for Layla -- same reason I know you walked away. When you told me that Emily only wanted me back because she didn’t want anyone else to have me, I brought it to counseling. It took time, I’ll admit, but when I saw how she was with Layla as time passed, and I knew you were right. Last week, I asked her about why she came back, and she couldn’t answer me.” He scoffed. “Just the same way I couldn’t answer you, I guess. Funny how people can say so much with no words, huh? Anyway, tonight, we didn’t go to counseling. We went to a lawyer and drew up custody papers. The divorce stands, obviously, but Emily is giving up her rights to Layla.”
Sadie, arms still crossed, leaned against the counter. “Have you told Layla?”
“Emily’s talking to her now.”
“Wow,” Sadie said, raising her brow, “taking some responsibility. Never thought I’d see the day.” She let out a breath. “I’m sorry, that’s probably not fair.”
Chris shook his head and stood in front of her. “No, you’re right. Emily is taking responsibility for her actions, and I’m here taking responsibility for mine. I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time -- longer than I’ve even known. I told you once that I had learned things from you this summer, and I didn’t get to answer you when you asked me what that was. You taught me that there are still good women in the world … women who care about family and love and important things in life other than themselves. You taught me that there are still people who can change your life, for the better. You taught me that I can love again, and I do. I love you, Sadie. I want to be with you.”
Sadie blinked against the tears welling in her eyes, causing a drop to run down her cheek. “You broke my heart, Chris.”
“I know I did,” he replied, voice low and hoarse. His calloused fingers came up to wipe away her tears. “But I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you let me. Come back to the farm. Be with me. Show Layla what a mom is supposed to be like. Forever.”
Between his thumb and forefinger, Chris held up a ring. Sadie’s tears flowed still, but the purpose changed. She was no longer heartbroken; when Chris said that he wanted to spend forever fixing the mistake he had made, he was serious.
Sadie recognized the ring. Kathleen had shown her pictures before of Chris’s grandparents’ wedding day, and pointed out the blue-stoned ring that Chris’s grandmother had loved so much. Kathleen had refused to let Emily have it, but must have been supportive of Chris’s desire to give the ring to Sadie.
“I made mistakes, too,” Sadie said. “I walked away.”
“Because of what I said -- well, what I couldn’t say,” Chris countered. “Let’s start over. Together. Just say the word, Sadie, and I swear, we’ll never be apart again.”
She looked at the ring, up to his blue-green eyes, and then around the room. She hadn’t ever expected him to come back, let alone with a proposal. With the pieces of her heart already coming back together, Sadie went up on tiptoe and whispered the word against his lips.
“Yes.”
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redorblue · 6 years
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The Terranauts, by T. C. Boyle
There’s this one thing that I always found incredibly annoying about English books, and that German books thankfully don’t have (yet). I hate the bunch of review snippets all over the cover so. much. It screws up the cover design, it can get pretty crowded if the publishing house was really proud of this book, and it tells you absolutely nothing. Same thing on the backside: I’ve seen books that have three lines of quote from inside the book, and six quotes from reviews gushing about it. How is that supposed to help me, or make me buy it? Last time I looked, most people still buy books because they think the story or the setup is intriguing, or because they like the author, not because Person X, Author of YZA, said it’s a “triumph of the imagination”. German books don’t do that. German books have the author and the name of the book on the cover, nicely integrated into the cover art, and a synopsis and maybe a short quote on the back. Orderly. Informative. Very German, probably.
But I digress. The reason I got into this was my most recent read, The Terranauts, and not only did I find it terrible, I also have no idea which book those reviewers from the Guardian, the Times etc. read - I find it hard to believe it was the same I did. So let’s try something else and use those incredibly unhelpful literary critics to structure what I did not like about this book.
1. “Excruciatingly funny” - Times Literary Supplement
This one is the easiest: I have no idea what they are talking about. If this book was so funny, it wouldn’t have been too much to expect to laugh at least once, right? Well, I didn’t. I also didn’t chuckle, snort, giggle, smile or even lift one corner of my mouth in amusement. Because in my not so humble opinion, this book is not funny. Unless I’m supposed to laugh about this one guy lusting after whichever woman has the longest legs in the room, about this woman who falls for him nonetheless and keeps lying to herself about his shittiness, or her so-called “best friend” who takes a trip to Mexico and promptly gets diarrhea. Yeah, very funny. Not everybody has the same sense of humour and all that, but I think someone who can laugh about such things has a rather questionable one.
2. “Lord of the Flies meets Hunger Games” -  The Times
With this one I at least get why they came to that conclusion. The story is the fictional continuation of a real-life experiment conducted some time in the 90s where eight people - four men, four women - were locked into a glass dome with a self-sustaining ecosystem inside, and basically told to see how many were still walking after two years. The first, real group broke closure (= was interrupted) after a few months because of a medical emergency, which is why the fictional second group is all the more fanatic determined to not open the airlock for the full two years, whatever happens. While they’re in there farming and supposedly conducting scientific experiments (although you never learn what it is exactly they’re testing, so if you want hard science, stay away), they get media coverage from all over the US (about what, one might ask... Must have been one hell of a silly season to send reports about people milking goats... Checking humidity... catching fish... Unheard of, right?).
So yeah, I can see where that one came from: a bunch of people locked in together at close quarters, becoming increasingly hateful towards each other = Lord of the Flies. Doing it all for the media coverage, completely with donations and the participants as celebrities and merchandise = The Hunger Games. Never mind that neither the characters from Lord of the Flies nor the candidates in the Hunger Games were there willingly, whereas in this book going under the glass with seven people you already can’t stand before you even go in, slowly starving yourself, slowly asphyxiating in the winter months, without pay or plan what to do afterwards, is somehow presented as being incredibly desirable (Really, the only lucid part this book has is when the characters call this enterprise a cult, or deny it being a cult - hey, at least they said the word, and self-denial is a serious Thing among all the characters). But okay, if you say so. The thing is, in my opinions it falls short in both comparisons.
I have to admit, I’ve never read Lord of the Flies, only watched the movie, and you shouldn’t judge a book by its adaptation. But I remember that (besides the survival part) it’s about group dynamics, how groups organize under pressure, how new leaders establish new orders, and the violence that ensues. Now I’m definitely not one of those people who need a body count to enjoy a book, but this one, I have to admit, was too... tame? for me to be credible. The highest tensions ever rose was a fistfight between two characters after almost two years of being locked in, when they were half starved already and there was barely any oxygen left in the air. Sure, the rest of the time they were constantly badmouthing each other, and venomous when they had to talk about something - but really, that’s your climax, your crisis? I already mentioned that most of the crew members didn’t like each other to begin with, and of course that didn’t get better over the course of the book, but it feels a bit lame to have your characters constantly emphasize how much they hate each other (and one even threatening to kill anyone who jeopardizes the mission! Talk about a Chekov’s gun that just... never went off I guess?), and then presenting a few punches as The Worst It Can Get. Let alone not resolving anything after they finally get out. Most of the crew just disappear into thin air, which is fitting because they weren’t much more than thin air with a name tag during the entire book, and the POVs just... get on with their lives I guess. The ending really feels a bit like the author just ran out of pages, and not in the good, open-ending kind of way. There is no resolution, no discernible character arc, no epiphany, nothing. It just ends. So take this as a vivid example of how structuring does NOT work.
As for the comparison with The Hunger Games... First of all, there’s the same problem of being too tame. The Hunger Games works partly (!!) because it’s suspenseful, what with fighting and hunting and figuring stuff out and action scenes in general. The Terranauts doesn’t have anything of the sort: no secret plots to unveil, no rivals to kill (and the moral dilemma that comes with it), very little, very drawn out struggle for survival... Again, I don’t need any of this to like a book, I can do without action, but it’s the Times that made the comparison, and I’m sorry but I think The Terranauts falls short. By a mile or so. Another thing that made The Hunger Games so interesting is the role the media plays: How the games are basically just entertainment for the rich, how public images are constructed and why, how public opinion and public sentiment is influenced etc. The Hunger Games were honest about how it’s all “just” for show. The Terranauts, however, tried to keep up its pretense of being oh so scientific, while the only thing that ever gets any screentime is not experiments or hard facts, but photo ops and interviews and presentations. Which would be fine if the book ever properly dealt with the fact that it was all just a huge media stunt. But it doesn’t, it never talks about the implications of the experiment being a big, expensive reality show, it never grants its characters a moment of epiphany or a personal crisis with regards to their sacrifices not being for science and the survival of the human race, but for money and money alone. The closest the characters ever get to realizing this and instrumentalizing it is when some of them threaten the CEO to talk to the press, but none of them ever go through with it (and there’s no reason why they wouldn’t besides this ominous cult mentality thing, because some of them have been treated really badly). Not even the crew member whose responsibility is PR management ever really tries to create a public image of himself that he can use to get what he wants and influence public opinion to the disadvantage of disliked crew mates or some such. It all feels very half-baked, and that from an author who’s famous for writing real adult novels. Talk about how naive and shallow YA novels are.
3. “Heartbreakingly human” - The Guardian
God... I hope not. I think not. If this set of characters is supposed to provide us with a sample of human experiences and emotions, then it’s really time to pack my bags and go be a hermit somewhere. Also, everyone is white, with the exception of one Asian person, who coincidentally is also the only woman who is consistently described as being fat and plain and kinky-haired (fat and kinky-haired being used as decidedly denigrating terms here - god this book has so many issues). And a terrible person, but that’s true for everyone. There are two minor characters who seem to be alright, the crew physician and the crew leader, but every non-POV character is basically just walking cardboard with maybe one or two traits each (for some reason I absolutely can’t fathom, bitchy, scheming and promiscuous come to mind for every single female character). Besides that there are three POVs: one man inside, one woman inside, and one woman outside (the Asian one). They all have some common character traits: they’re hateful, spiteful, lying, scheming, unreflected, self-serving, egocentric assholes. But besides those lovely common traits, they have some others that make them loathsome in their very own way, and I can’t shake the feeling that the author took a lot of inspiration from some nasty gender stereotypes. (warning: from here on it gets spoilery)
Let’s start with the guy, Ramsay. He’s sex-obsessed in a way that he can’t form any coherent thought as soon as a pair of shapely legs and boobs with a woman attached enters the room. He’s incapable of fidelity, love, loyalty and commitment, although he constantly claims otherwise. Let me give you a few examples of his awfulness: After he breaks up with one of his crewmates (after maybe forcing himself on her? It’s not made clear. How can that not be clear.), he constantly complains how ugly and old and generally repulsive she is. That’s the only thing he has to say about her. He then starts an affair with another crewmate, and when she becomes pregnant, he blames it all on her for deceiving him and being irrational because she didn’t want to screw up her body with artificial hormones every day which apparently is to be expected from every woman. He then pressures her to have an abortion. She refuses, and he constantly thinks about how gross she is the further the pregnancy progresses. After the baby is born, he doesn’t help her whatsoever, and first chance he gets, he takes off on her although he has promised her otherwise. To top it all off, he restarts his affair with a woman from the outside crew about whom we only learn that she’s a snake with nice legs, while he’s still married to the mother of his child. I don’t think I need to add anything to that. The amount of misogyny, sexism, and patriarchal stereotypes about men as mindless sex machines (plus the corresponding view on women) all compressed into one character is baffling.
For the women there’s a bit more variation, but it doesn’t get any less nasty. Woman No. 1, Dawn, is the long-legged, full-breasted redhead beauty who gets one of the few spots inside the experiment and takes over responsibility for growing food in the fields and tending to the farmyard animals. She then gets together with Ramsay, gets pregnant and decides to carry the child against all common sense, considering that the experiment can barely produce enough calories for eight people, let alone nine, and is definitely not able to provide for the special needs of a pregnant woman or a newborn child. After Dawn’s two years are officially over, she refuses to leave the glass dome and decides to stay inside because she feels so close to nature inside, or something like that. Notice the symbolism at work here? The stereotype presented here is that of Mother Earth, fertile, providing, one with nature itself. It’s quite fitting that Dawn’s nickname, chosen by her fellow participants, is Eos (which literally means dawn). Both her names fit very well into this whole mantra that the organizers of the experiment have: to start anew, create a better world, one that sustains itself and doesn’t exploit resources but is fertile enough to to live independently (which, I’m sorry, is just not true. They rely on the local power plant to keep their ideal environment stable, they receive knowledge from the outside world, and after the two years the dome is in need of a thorough restocking because the crew killed all the farm animals and ate all the seed stocks because they were hungry.) Dawn is the archetypal woman, the one who nourishes others and gives life, is loving, beautiful and monogamous, but she also displays some negative traits that have been historically associated with women: She’s naive to the point that she doesn’t notice any negative feelings Ramsay has towards her; she’s self absorbed, like when she decides to go through with the pregnancy at the risk of the others starving; and she’s emotional in a way that’s constantly pointed out to be annoying and exaggerated (they call it weepy).
The other female POV, Linda, is presented as her foil. She’s also the only PoC character, which makes her negative portrayal doubly problematic, especially since she seems to stand in for two ethnicities: Asian (because of her Korean ancestry) and black (because of her kinky hair). We keep being told that Linda and Dawn are best friends, but there’s really no evidence in the text to support that since they’re constantly bitter, false and patronizing towards the other, in their thoughts and in their actions. Also, they mainly seem to talk about the men in their lives with each other, with Dawn as the one who has a way with men and Linda as the jealous, Fat Ugly Friend^TM. So yeah, great portrayal of a friendship between two women, since obviously men is the only thing we ever talk and care about. But besides being presented as an overall terrible person - false, needy, deceiving, the archetypal snake to Dawn’s Eve* - Linda herself also constantly emphasizes that she’s overweight and not conventionally attractive, which in her interior monologue tied together with her lack of success with men - and her race. The only valid point this book makes is that it damages your career and possibly your romantic chances, especially as the only PoC in an all-white environment. But since this point is filtered through the perspective of a character whose interior monologue is filled with constant nagging and delusions, it’s incredibly easy not to take it seriously and dismiss it as another figment of Linda’s imagination. This may not be racist in and of itself, although it definitely comes across as mocking racial awareness, but it sure starts to look like the real thing once you take all the negative comments into account that Linda makes about all her physical features that make her distinctly non-white. It also ties neatly into yet another issue this book has: body-shaming. Surprisingly (or not), this also mainly concerns the female characters and is filtered almost exclusively through the way men react to them. I got so, so tired reading about how Linda, the fat and ugly one, tries to get men to sleep with her (unsuccessfully, unless they are old and gross), while the thin, pretty women like Dawn have an entire parade of admirers (and successful careers). Also notice how personality doesn’t play any role at all in both women’s romantic success? That’s because women’s personalities don’t matter, simple as that. And it’s probably better that way, since they’re all naive and clingy or dishonest and needy anyway - in addition to being mean, which is something all characters in this book share.
The thing is, with books like this one that are just horrible with regards to sexism, racism, body-shaming and a whole host of other things, I always wonder how that happened. I don’t want to condemn the authors for all those things without having read some of their other books (which I generally don’t, because I value my time) or doing a thorough check on them (which I generally don’t do either, because I’m lazy. But I can’t help but ask myself whether these are the author’s actual views. Other options would include a critique of these issues gone wrong, or a misguided attempt to induce some historical accuracy, or ignorance. The problem is that I’m pretty sure I can exclude said other options. Historical accuracy in this case is not necessary since the book is set in the 1990s, not in the middle ages. Ignorance is a pretty weak excuse by itself, and one issue may slip under your (and your editor’s) radar, but so many...? The author of this book is a white guy, so he’s probably wearing privilege lenses, but still. Lastly, a critique would necessitate at least some attempt to contradict the views you have your characters expressing, either through the narrative or - even better - through a character themselves. I know that, and I’m a twenty-something amateur reader who sometimes tries her hand at literary critique. An author (and editor) who has been in the business for so long should definitely know that, and also how to work said critique into the story so that a casual reader would catch it. Which leaves us with option No. 1. And the reason why I regret having spent money on one of TC Boyle’s books, and why his name is another entry on my list of authors never to be read again.
*An afterthought that I’m too lazy to work in somewhere else: There is so much religious imagery in this book. It starts with the nicknames many characters in this book get, like God the Creator, Jesus, Judas, Eos etc., and culminates with this whole Garden of Eden theme that surrounds the experiment. Like with the cult thing, the book isn’t even shy to call itself out on it, but if this is not a prime example of lampshading, then I don’t know what is.
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