#okay for the next part: none of the following words are in the bible
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More "Tissaia, but a gentleman" folly for @ehay in fandomtrumpshate. If anybody can still recall it, I did some doodles for the same subject last year.
They are all Leyendecker studies. For those who are interested:
The teal dress with lattice pattern: is "translated" into a late Victorian/Edwardian suit with the same decorations, a high-buttoned waistcoat, plain shirt with winged collar and white cravat. Just another casual day dress.
The crimson ascension ball gown: hoo boy this gown was a tough one to design, the easy flow of the material gave it a more sensual, almost seductive feel compared to the rest of Tissaia's wardrobe, yet the deep colour and silver leaves decorations made it unmistakable a ball gown, or at least one for special occasion. My best bet was to go with "luxurious, seductive yet formal enough", and put "him" in dress uniform from the same time period, with a lot of leaf motif embroidery. A jacket draped over the shoulder making up for the lack of flow. Inspiration was mainly Hussar uniforms, which I think would fit well with The Witcher books' Central European/Slavic elements.
The comfy sleeping gown: Men also wore nightgown back then, so this was an easy job, no comment
#ehay#fandom trumps hate#sometimes i draw things#tissaia de vries#the witcher#finally finishing em!#see what I did there? day dress. evening dress. night gown. full day attire!#was both creatively challenging and. hell. the amount of details in that dress uniform. i croak.#but challenging and fun#okay for the next part: none of the following words are in the bible#go back now. i said it. go back#yeah. so. he dresses to make sure that in every room he walks into he must be the person with the tiniest waist#those sleeping gown buttons are undone for a reason too#i sexualise old men what's about it#contrary to popular belief i didnt yell 'old man p*ssy' the whole time i drew these. just occasionally#sorry ehay (giggling as i press post)#gent!tissaia
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Wicked and Divine: Part 1, Chapter 1
all her life, she's bound to lose...
Summary:
When John Winchester gets a call from a thirteen-year-old girl claiming to be his daughter, he and Dean go to investigate, bringing them into a complicated web woven by a charismatic cult leader named David Elwood--who also claims to be the girl's "husband."
Or, how Esther Smith became Leila Winchester.
Warnings: Sexual Abuse, Religious Abuse, Cults, Child Marriage, Pregnancy, Miscarriage
Pairings: None
Next Chapter | Masterlist
Read on AO3
Oregon, 1988
“I shouldn’t be flirting with you,” Melisa says, taking another drink of whiskey. It burns, and she knows it’s supposed to. It still feels like punishment.
John Winchester sits across from her, studying her. He’s a quiet man, she’s found, in the short time she’s known him, but she thinks there’s nothing that really gets past him.
“And why’s that?” he asks, a smile toying at the corner of his mouth. “You got someone at home?”
An icy chill settles into her gut. “Define ‘home,’” she says. There’s nobody waiting for her in her apartment, but there’s a presence that follows her everywhere ever since she met him . The man that changed her life. Sometimes, in petty, ungrateful, cowardly moments, she wonders if it was really for the better.
John looks away, pensive, and takes a swig of his own drink in lieu of a response. She wonders what home is to him.
She takes him to her apartment anyway. Maybe she shouldn’t--despite the fact that he saved her life, he’s still a stranger, and a sketchy one at that. Maybe it’s that risk that makes him appealing to her. Maybe that’s what it all comes down to.
She keeps looking at her Gibborim Bible on her side table, like she’s asking it for forgiveness. John follows her gaze. He doesn’t ask about it. She supposes he’s seen too many crazy things to call anyone’s religion crazy.
“I can’t stay the night,” John says as he starts getting dressed. “Sorry.” He sounds genuine, if cavalier.
“Do you believe in faith healers?” Melisa asks him instead, apropos of nothing, and he gives her that scrutinizing look again, the one that seems to pierce right through her.
“I’ve never seen one that was legit,” he says finally, with a shrug.
“And you’ve seen a lot of crazy things,” she clarifies.
He smiles bitterly. “Something like that, yeah.”
He looks at her again, a little softer this time, and she thinks he’s about to ask if she’s okay--she’s already bristling, ready to lash out at the question--
He shakes his head and looks down, pulling out a small notebook and scribbling something down.
“This is my phone number,” he says, tearing the page out and setting it on her side table. She could swear there’s something...pointed, about the way he sets it on her bible. “In case there’s any more dybbuk trouble.”
Melisa nods a little. It’s unlikely. She’s probably never seeing him again, she realizes. There’s something bittersweet in that. It’s better that way.
“Thanks for saving my life,” she tells him.
He smiles. “You already told me that.”
“It’s worth repeating.” She smiles a little. “Goodbye, John.”
John has only been gone for a minute or so when he calls. And it’s one of those things that keeps her coming back, one of those things that doesn’t make sense unless he is what he says he is: he always knows when to call. He always knows when something’s happened, when she needs guidance.
“David,” she says when she picks up. Thank God.
“Melisa,” David says in that calm, velvet voice. “How are you?”
“I’m--” she almost says ‘good,’ reflexively, but she promised him she would never keep secrets from him. It’s liberating, in a way.
She can’t find the words, so she sighs.
“I sensed turmoil in your spirit,” David says, after giving her a moment to speak. “That’s why I called. Are you alright?”
“I--” she hesitates for a long moment. All of her guilt, all of her fear, it hits her all at once, and she feels like she could drown in it. Finally, she admits, “I need help.”
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” David replies. “We’ll pray together, you and me. It’ll be alright.”
And there’s something in his voice that makes her believe him, more than she’s ever believed in anything.
2002
It’s early in the afternoon when Jim Murphy gets the call.
Sam is in the kitchen doing homework. Jim had told him to ask if he needed help, but Sam doesn’t seem to need it. He’s a smart kid. Jim wonders, idly, what he could do in a family that stayed in one place for longer than three months at a time.
“Jim Murphy.”
There’s a long pause on the other end of the line.
“Hello?”
“Um. I’m looking for John Winchester?” The voice on the other end is young, female, and sounds scared. Quiet, like she’s trying not to be overheard somehow.
Jim knows that John used to give out his number as his own, back before cell phones were ubiquitous, but he hasn’t gotten a call for him in nearly a decade. “How’d you get this number, kiddo?”
“It was in my mom’s stuff. Her name was Melissa Smith. I--I think I’m his daughter.” Her voice breaks as the words tumblr out, quickly, like she’s running out of time. “And I need his help.”
“How old are you?” He reaches for a pad of paper and a pen on the counter.
“Thirteen.”
“What’s your address?”
“I don’t--I don’t know what that means. Please can I just talk to John? I need help.”
How does a thirteen year old not know their address? “Where do you live? I’ll send him.”
“Woodscross.”
“Where is that?”
“In Oregon.” She pronounces Oregon strangely, like Oree-gone . He files away that detail for later. “Please help me. I think he’s trying to kill me.”
Jim Murphy is good in a crisis--it’s kind of his job--but the words do surprise him. He tries to keep his voice calm, for her sake.
“Whoa, slow down. Who’s trying to kill you?”
There’s another long pause, and then: “I have to go. I think they found me.”
“No, wait, what’s your n--”
Click.
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OK, wow do I want to talk about all the bible verses Tamsyn uses in her John chapters! But, first a disclaimer: I’m Jewish and have a pretty solid background in TaNaKh and Jewish textual criticism but basically none in Christian/second testament textual criticism. Despite my lack of knowledge in the second testament, I went through and collected each of the bible verses for each of John’s excerpts - along with in some cases relevant following lines - because I just... had to know.
Part of my fascination here is that in many of these verses, John’s experience parallels elements of Jesus’. But, the biblical John is a disciple, not a messiah-figure like Jesus. John blurs the lines between Earth’s disciple, and “god” figure himself. The blurring of the lines in Tamsyn’s verse choices are also particularly interesting following her most recent interview where she said she’s got like six christ characters all running around. Everyone is a christ figure - and they all do it differently. Even the characters that are supposed to just be a disciple find themselves trying to play at a christ or a divine story line. Anyways, what follows is all of the verses and some of my loose and chaotic thoughts. Curious what others are noticing. All translations are from the New International Version and compiled using Blue Letter Bible.
John 20:8 “Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed.”
Okay when I first opened the book and obviously googled this right away I got CHILLS. We open with a reference to reaching the tomb and believing. This both feels like it’s in reference to everyone seeing the Earth as a tomb and believing. As well as, of course, everyone who at the end of the book, will go to the tomb and believe. She begins, as always, foreshadowing the end. And I find that infuriating and incredibly metal of her.
John 5:20 “For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed.”
“Most of the bodies got the melt, like we thought they would... But, Harrow... all the ones I touched, all the ones I loved... they stayed incorrupti” (NtN 76).
Fascinated by what is either a careful writing choice, or a sloppy copy error to leave out the period after “incorrupti”. It’s as if Tamsyn whispers back at the scripture to add an ominous open ending to the “amazed”.
John 15:23 “Whoever hates me hates my Father as well.” And continuing to the next two lines “If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’”
I’m still sitting with this reference. This is the chapter where U-- And T-- are renamed and John moves them from across the room. “If I had not done among them the words no one else did” feels tied here. John’s growing sense of self righteousness continues as he becomes more fanatic... curious what other’s think. It’s a juicy line and an intense chapter.
John 5:18 “For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.”
This is the chapter where they stream John’s necromancy. His journey towards presenting himself publicly as a “god” begins in earnest.
John 8:1 “but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.”
This is the story that even I’ve heard about where a woman is brought before Jesus and accused of adultery while he is sitting at the courts and he says “let those who are without sin cast the first stone”. John is beginning to present himself as a savior - people come to see him for their sufferings and their problems. John moves further into the public sphere.
John 19:18 “There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.”
“Anyway, we all had Interpol warrens... Anyone who wanted to go, I let them go (NtN, 220).” This is also where it becomes clear just how bad the situation is - the rich are leaving the Earth to be crucified. The lines are blurry between who is being crucified and is it the disciple, the executioner, or the divine being telling the story.
John 5:1 “Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals.” Followed by 5:2 “Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades.”
Tamsyn also mentioned Bethesda in her article, and earlier on John does seem to get into a kind of faith healing. But the chapter this verse titles is when John begins playing puppet master to a dead world leader in exchange for money and nuclear weapons. This feels like such a sinister perversion of the healing waters of Bethesda, and in many ways this chapter feels like the beginning of the end.
John 3:20 “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.” 3:21 continues “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.”
OOF. What a fuckin’ verse to pair with John going full necromancer while he’s nursing a nuke under his floorboards. WHOABOY.
John 9:22 “His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue.”
John does (his first?) mass murder. This is the moment of trial to his disciples. They are not thrown out, John manipulates them, and they stay.
John 1:20 “He did not fail to confess, but confessed freely, “I am not the Messiah.” … And a few lines following in John 1:23 “John replied in the words of Isaiah the prophet, “I am the voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way for the Lord.’ ”
“I am not the messiah” titles the chapter where the bombs go off. The world is demolished - there is no going back. “I am the voice of the one calling in the wilderness, ‘make straight the way for the Lord’”.
The line from Isaiah quoted in John reads, reads: ק֣וֹל קוֹרֵ֔א בַּמִּדְבָּ֕ר פַּנּ֖וּ דֶּ֣רֶךְ יי יַשְּׁרוּ֙ בָּעֲרָבָ֔ה מְסִלָּ֖ה לֵאלֹקינוּ׃ “A voice calls out in the desert ‘Clear a way for G!d, straighten out a pathway for our G!d through the wilderness” (My translation).
OOF.
John 5:4 From Blue Letter Bible: “Some Greek manuscripts exclude this verse. The NIV related footnote for 5:3 states:
Some manuscripts include here: “wholly or in part, paralyzed—and they waited for the moving of the waters. From time to time an angel of the Lord would come down and stir up the waters. The first one into the pool after each such disturbance would be cured of whatever disease they had.”
From time to time an angel of the Lord would come down and stir up the waters. Alecto awakes. I wonder what disturbances and diseases she will take it upon herself to cure?
#ntn#nona the ninth#nona the ninth spoilers#locked tomb meta#locked tomb spoilers#the way tamsyn uses religious texts is just wild#this is the most christian scripture i've ever read#and boy is it a wild ride#text analysis
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it's time to tempt the Christian boy 😇 can i ask for Taiju x Demon Reader? sinful plssss 💔
Sweet Tooth: Taiju Shiba x Demon!Fem!Reader
wc: 955
tw: NSFW
1K Follower Event Masterlist
The first time Taiju saw you was as you walked down the church aisle, preparing to take bread and wine on Easter Sunday.
Your lustrous hair and captivating eyes sucked him in, and the little sundress you wore didn't help either. He reasoned that you were the most innocent, pure, and tender being he'd laid eyes on, and made it his mission at that moment to get to know you.
And as you walked down the white steps of the building, clutching your bible to your chest, he dashed down the stairs to do just that.
"Miss!" The wind is knocked out of his lungs when your eyes land on his face, and Taiju - a hulk of a man - took one step back, hoping to avoid overwhelming you with his presence. "I... I've never seen you here before. Are you new to this church?" You flash him a small smile.
"I am. And you are...?"
"Taiju, Taiju Shiba."
"My name is y/n; it's nice to meet you, Taiju. Have a great day." You bow slightly, then turn to leave, but this man can't let you go.
"Wait." He catches up to you as you walk down the sidewalk, eyes flicking to his face. "It's Easter Sunday. Would you like to go somewhere to eat for brunch?"
"Brunch?" You stop, frowning deeply, but then smooth your features out. "Oh, you mean the meal between breakfast and lunch." You go silent for a moment. "I really should get home. I have to cook and--"
"Then I'll give you a ride. You walked?" You nod, and Taiju waves you over to his motorcycle, patting the back of his seat. "Hop on."
You give Taiju directions as you hold on to him, enjoying the feeling of the wind snapping against your cheeks. Taiju follows them perfectly and arrives in front of the suburban home in record timing. You can feel his eyes widen at the sight of the white picket fence, manicured lawn, and cheery colors of the house.
He's never been this turned on.
"I'll see you next week," you sing, kissing his cheek and pulling away before hopping off the bike. "Thanks for the ride!" Taiju watches you go into the house, his mouth agape as he holds a hand to his cheek, then comes to himself and drives off, unaware that the kiss is the first of your many tricks to make the eldest Shiba lose his heavenly footing.
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Taiju can't shake your image out of his head. No matter how hard he tries to focus, focus, focus, he keeps thinking about that dress, your hair, your eyes... that kiss. None of it makes sense. He's never felt this way about anyone before, but you... you're so... sweet.
"Would you like to go for ice cream?" he finds himself asking the next Sunday. It had been terribly hot in the church, and he watched you fidget nervously, a sweat breaking out across your collarbone as the sermon dragged on. Outside is no better, but he drinks in your flushed appearance, imagining other ways he could get those cheeks to heat up.
"That would be wonderful." Taiju whisks you away on his bike and you hold onto him again, smiling to yourself.
This is too easy.
Of course, he pays for your ice cream, watching your tongue dart out to lick at the strawberry flavoring with desire. "Oh," you reach a hand up to wipe away the mint smudge on his lower lip. "You got something there." Taiju turns to you as your fingers linger on his lip, then he blinks, unsure of how to react. You stare at him as well, leaning forward slightly. "Kiss me, Shiba."
Taiju obeys like the willing pet that he is, and you tangle your fingers into his hair. "Is this okay?" he wonders, touching your neck as his lips part from yours.
"More than okay." You take his hand and slide it down to your thigh, which is partially exposed. "I want to try something." The "something" you want to try involves the two of you in your car, making out in the backseat with fevered touches and quick words that mean nothing when strung together.
"Please, Taiju." The man is underneath you, hands holding your hips when his eyes snap open.
"What are doing to me?" he breathes, yellow eyes wild with fear.
"Nothing." The lie slides out so easily, and he keeps kissing you despite his fear, despite something in him warning him that you're not safe. But like everyone else you've seduced, he doesn't stop, not even as the car rocks back and forth in the empty parking lot.
"Deeper," you purr, and Taiju no longer holds himself back. His initial fear was that he might hurt you, but as his hips slide against yours, you spread your legs a little wider. "Deeper, Taiju."
He grunts, hair flopping into his face as he fucks you, but you're more focused on the end of this interaction. You want his soul to be entwined between your little fingers, you want him to crave you... your touch... your everything.
And when he cums on your stomach, body shuddering with pleasure, you grab his wrist hard.
"Ah!" Taiju snatches his arm back, the imprint of your hand seared into his flesh. "What are you--"
"You belong to me now," you reply, the scorch marks ghosting away as fast as they came. "And you'll do whatever I say, as long as you're alive. When you die, you'll join me in hell, with the rest of your kind."
The absolute horror on Taiju's face is nothing compared to the way he gazes at you after he's forgotten the entire conversation.
#taiju shiba x reader#taiju smut#taiju shiba#tokyorev smut#tokyo revengers#wendy's 1k event#otherworldly beings
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It’s always colder on your own
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Category: Angst/ comfort
Warnings: SPOILERS OF S2 EP15-18, mentions of addiction, murder, kidnapping, rape (just in a sentence), drugs, traumatic experience, usual cm stuff
Summary: Old memories haunt the BAU's genius when a case involving addiction is handled by the team.
Requested by @imagining-in-the-margins ; based on this request:
Hurt/Comfort where there is a case involving addiction and the following happens:
Reader: Are you alright?
Spencer: Hm? Oh. Yeah, I-I'm fine.
Reader: Okay.
Reader: You know it's okay if you're not, right?
Spencer: What?
Reader: It's okay if you're not okay.
A/N: Its aaaaaaa I'm writing another request for imagining-in-the-margins— that's wowie-
Oh and btw, for the mentions of the verse of the bible; I did some research about it based on the ones that Spencer recited, so I'm sorry if I accidentally made some mistakes, I unfortunately don't know much about it ^^
A/N (2); At some point of the story, when you’ll see text then [...] and text again, the “[...]” is the parts Spencer haven’t been listening to, he was distracted.
I hope you will like it, i tried lmaoo
Word count: 4.8k
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It's just a little bit lonely in this home, it's always colder on your own, my darling I, I let the seasons change my mind. — Ricky Montgomery, This December
__________________
Spencer hasn’t felt that way for a long time, for way too long.
That feeling seemed weird, but strangely familiar.
Although it had been a while since it had happened, he never really forgot about it; it stayed; buried deep inside his thoughts.
He didn’t think that he’d have to deal with it again; well, he’s only dealing with his own problems, because it wasn’t about him this time; it was about the case, specifically, about the unsub.
Spencer had never thought the case would have turned out to be that way; it didn’t seem like it at all at first, he would have qualified it as normal- as the cases they had worked on before this one didn’t affect him personally in general- ,but none of the case the bureau works on are normal, you truly have to be mentally prepared for it because it never is normal, there always is a deeper meaning, and when the reason is discovered, it isn’t really pleasant most of the time, to the point everyone in the room had wished not to see it, but it isn’t very surprising anymore when you’ve been working there for more than ten years, you get used to it, eventually.
He wished that he could have said that he had moved on, but it never was the case, he didn’t forget these days, when he had thought that he wouldn’t make it out alive; and he almost didn’t. He had died there, probably for less than ten minutes as he didn’t suffer permanent brain damage from the lack of oxygen; but what had probably caused it was the dilaudid.
It had been injected into his veins, multiple times without his consent, for the only reason that it would make him feel better- which did not, considering what he had to go through after it happened.
He still regrets what he did after the incident; he snapped at Emily; thought of using dilaudid again: he clearly wasn’t himself, he didn’t even recognize himself whenever he was in front of a mirror.
Addiction stuff never goes away, and even though he didn’t forget, he didn’t think much about it daily, just when the subject would come up, or if he’d see or hear something that would remind him of it, but never the thought of the matter had been that important until now. It never triggered him a lot when he thought of it, not until a case bringing it up was taken in by the team.
It had been exactly five days, four hours, and nine minutes since they had begun working on it, but if he’d be counting the time he had been working on it, it’d be less than that. He hasn’t been focusing well since the discovery of the addiction concerning the unsub had been brought up.
Why is it impacting me like that? It had never been that way before, so why did it stay since? I never brought much attention to it to the point of thinking of it non-stop. I always managed to distract myself, try to control my emotions, so why didn’t it work today?
The only person who could- almost - make it go somehow go away was y/n. He’d look at her, and he’d be able to escape these thoughts for a moment as the only thing he thought about was her.
Spencer could describe her as his guardian angel, he can't lie about it, she saved him.
He doesn't know what he'd be doing if she wasn't here; and now that he thinks about what happened with Hankel, he can't imagine that if he hadn't made it out alive, he wouldn't have met her, she wouldn't have met him; and the only way she could have known him was through memories, and pictures.
Spencer would have been nothing but a frozen memory.
It sends chills to his spine whenever he thinks about it, the fact that he would have died at 25.
He can’t keep thinking about it, as it isn’t good to remain in the past; but now he’s just stuck in them, he can’t really describe what he’s feeling, but he can definitely say that it's clearly not doing any good to his mental health; it’s ruining him.
But clearly he doesn't want to tell the others and add more problems on top of the ones they already have with the case, and eventually in their lives.
Spencer doesn’t want to feel like a burden to the others, it’s been more than 10 years since it happened and to him, he’s supposed to have left some of the tension that was crushing him, it had been supposed to at least go away, a bit, to the point it didn’t ruin his health; he doesn’t know if he should talk about it, or if he even wants to.
He knows that they’ll understand, he knows that they never judged him, and will never do it; but what if they don’t understand? He doesn’t even know why it appeared now, he doesn’t know what triggered him that much to the point of being in this state of mind. He always figures out everything, and now he can’t even solve his own problems.
Everyone says that no one knows you better than you do, but I guess that this time the ‘theory’ hasn’t proven itself to be true apparently.
Something refrains him from talking; but he doesn’t know why.
If he talks about it with y/n, it may or may not solve it, but it could release some pressure, perhaps. It’s not confirmed, but it could.
Now that he thought about it, were the thoughts that distractive to the point that he may have forgotten why he felt like that in the first place?
He remembers that stress can affect how memories are formed. When stressed, people have a more difficult time creating short-term memories and turning those short-term memories into long-term memories, meaning that it is more difficult to learn when stressed.
It could have been that, but how? He doesn’t forget stuff.
He never does.
But, now that he thinks about it, is he looking at a reason when it is only right in front of his eyes? When it could only be his brain that reacted when the subject came up?
Spencer always figures out stuff, even what’s going on in his own mind;
So why does he feel like he can’t do anything?
Anything but watch himself sink down.
Is he trying to avoid it, doesn’t he want to solve it, or is he too afraid to face the truth?
Well, a part of him doesn't want to admit it, he could say that.
He doesn't want to face it, he doesn’t want to plunge the knife deeper than it already is. He doesn’t know, or can’t talk about it because he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to explain , make the person he’s talking to understand his feelings, or even manage to get the courage to talk about it, to not get stuck in a middle of sentence because he suddenly freaks out, or doesn’t know what to tell anymore.
He hoped that it’ll get better.
It could;
Or it couldn’t.
He’ll try to think about it later. It already was late enough, he wouldn’t get much sleep, so he’d better go now.
Spencer made his way to the entrance of the hotel room he shared with y/n, wondering if she still was awake; as she liked to go over the cases sometimes before going to sleep; but she wasn’t this time, she was laying on her side, the white blanket on top of her legs.
He made his way in the room, carefully closing the door not to wake her up; as she must have been drained of all the energy after the long day they’ve had;
He understands her, it really is exhausting, especially when the case goes nowhere. They didn’t manage to get much today, except...the addiction stuff.
Spencer would have normally felt relieved to have found a lead, even the smallest, but that lead wasn’t the one he would have wanted to find. He did want to find something else, but they weren’t appropriate thoughts, you can’t wish to find out he was a rapist or a murderer either.
Either it’s addiction, murder, kidnapping or rape stuff, neither is acceptable to wish for it to happen instead of what happened.
Neither.
He wishes he could erase it from his mind, at least, not remember it fully; but with that eidetic memory of his, that isn’t possible.
His eidetic memory is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
The curse part of it isn’t the best, it even describes itself by the definition of curse.
It always makes you remember the memories you certainly don't want to think about; and for Spencer, it’s literally his whole life, so he does want to not have it anymore most of the time because of that.
Unfortunately, that isn’t possible either.
If only it could, that’d allow him to rest better, especially now.
He made his way to the bed to the side next to the window; y/n had remembered that Spencer preferred to be on the side of the window.
Gosh, he loves her for that.
It’s a small detail, but still, he appreciated it that she thought of it.
Thinking about her, he wonders if she did notice or not; because even though they don’t profile each other, y/n always tries to make sure he’s okay without pressuring him.
So, if she did notice that time, she may not be talking about it because she possibly wasn’t sure whether he would react well or not; she knows that it’s a sensitive subject, and she didn’t want to trigger him or be in bad terms, but only if she knew that he wouldn’t ever do that.
He couldn’t yell at her, she’s the reason he’s here, the reason he stayed for. If he knew that five years after his arrival she’d enter the bureau, he would have fought every single day to survive and meet her, especially when he was with Hankel. He wouldn’t have given it up if it was for her.
He appreciated the team too, they were a second family to him; but he also would have liked to have the love of his life to fight for that day.
Spencer was relieved that she had arrived a year after it happened, he wouldn’t have wanted her to see him like that, he knew that she couldn’t have managed to think about anything, her mind would be fuzzy, she wouldn’t have managed to separate the right thoughts from the bad ones. He would have been relieved that it didn’t happen in front of her eyes, not the actual thing.
He wouldn’t have preferred that to happen at all, considering the problems that it caused after it, and still from that day. He still thinks that it was his fault, even if the team made him know it wasn’t at all; but he shouldn’t have split up.
Both JJ and him could have died; JJ could have been badly hurt because of the dogs, if they attacked her, and spencer could have died there if Tobias or whatever it was, didn’t chose to try to resuscitate him; if he would have made him go in his own grave he had dig, or if he has shot before he managed to get his gun to shoot him in the chest.
He still remembers the look on his face.
Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, he probably wouldn’t have forgotten it. It terrified him.
He had shot him before hankel managed to, and he fell to the floor, as Spencer kneeled beside him, looking at his terrified and disturbed eyes.
“You killed him."
“Tobias?” He asked, as he noticed the brightness of the flashlights from his peripheral view; and heard the distant voices, probably calling his name. He didn’t pay much attention, from the state and mindset, and his mind being...well, trying to focus on the man in front of him.
“Do you think I’ll get to see my mom again?” he slightly raised his voice, looking at Spencer.
“I’m sorry.” Spencer had admitted.
And that was the last words he had probably heard, before his eyes froze as life left his body; his chest rising a final time, as his last breath dissolved itself in the cold air.
It wasn’t until several people had gathered around the area, Hotch lowering himself to Reid’s level in order to pick him up.
A feeling of relief had washed itself over him, he hadn’t realised that his living nightmare had- now that he thought about it- somehow came to an end.
He didn’t think he’d do it once, but he had hugged hotch; as Hotch gave him a pat after he had wrapped his arms around his upper back.
He had understood what he had said when Hankel had asked him who he’d chose to kill, after he had chose Hotch,
"He’s a classic narcissist; he thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team.
Genesis 23:4; let him not deceive himself and trust in vanity, emptiness, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense.
When he had said this; he had messed up on purpose; his memory didn't fail him; he had recited the verse 'job 15:31', not genesis 23:4. He had hoped for them to understand the "mistake" he had done, hoping that one of them would know the real verse.
I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight “
Something had probably clicked in their minds, allowing them to discover the location Reid was at, or close to.
After that, he had gone to hug JJ, who had begun stepping towards him; before breaking the embrace as he reassured her that it wasn’t her fault after she had apologized.
That’s when he thinks that he messed up, what caused him to struggle even more.
He had asked for a moment, to be alone; and shortly stepped towards Tobias’s cold, lifeless body, reaching out for his pocket to take the two dilaudid vials; shoving them in his pocket in a single move- possibly to not draw attention by taking his time if they were watching him-, before standing up, crossing his arms, each in the crook of the other.
He won’t lie to himself, the next days weren’t the best he had; the wound was fresh, so obviously he wasn’t in his right mind; he kept-
Spencer.
Stop.
You’ve done enough damage to yourself.
He had put his hand on his forehead, before crashing on the bed, close to y/n to feel her warmth; hoping it could allow him to put his mind to rest.
Don’t think about it.
Just stop. It’ll be by constantly thinking about it that it’ll keep ruining you.
Spencer thought that it could- in a way- stop it, he didn’t really know what to do and think about at his point.
He closed his eyes, in an attempt to finish the rest of the night calmly.
-------
Spencer had woken up surprisingly early, way before the usual hour they'd go to work.
The night wasn't awesome, but okay...ish.
He had taken a lot of time trying to get his thoughts away from his head, but when you're alone, the task isn't easy.
It's you, and your thoughts.
Nothing else.
There wasn't anything to distract him as y/n was asleep; he wasn't going to wake her at 4am because he couldn't sleep, you certainly don't wake up someone for that.
He had woken up by exactly 5:45, not bothering to look at the window as he knew daylight wouldn't come at this time of the day, more around 7.
Obviously, he hadn't forgotten last night's subject, as much as he wished he could have.
But you know...eidetic memory stuff again.
As he looked as y/n lying next to him; Spencer had noticed that she hadn't apparently woken up yet; she was on her side, her face facing his.
He had wondered if she managed to get a good night of sleep; she'd often get stressed because of the case, and as the case had contained something she knew concerned Spencer -in a way-, she must have been stressing about it.
She always put others before herself, if one of her friends wasn't feeling well, she'd abandon the activity she was up to, and focus on the person; no matter what, even if it meant staying for two hours to listen and help the one she was talking to.
She was amazingly caring.
Too caring to the point that Spencer would ask himself if he ever deserved her: he wouldn’t have thought that he’ll ever meet a person like that, acting so nicely with him, plus interested in a relationship, that is now going on for two years; that was...unimaginable.
He liked being with her, a lot. She was a bit shorter than him, so he’d find it cute whenever she’d struggle reaching the top shelf; he didn’t know why he’d find it so cute: but it was like that. He’d go to help her, even if she wouldn’t ask, he’d do everything to make her happy, he’d never been in a relationship before her, so he didn’t really quite know what to do not to make her uncomfortable, not loved; he was so awkward and wouldn’t stop rambling or stuttering whenever he’d see y/n.
But she never saw him this way. She saw him as a normal person, talked to him as she would to the rest of the team; and would often come to talk, even if she didn’t have a reason to. She apparently wanted to hear Spencer rambling about facts, or answer some of the questions she had; and it never bothered him, she could have come for anything, even if it was just to say hello or ask him to take a paper she had faxed.
As long as he could see her, hear her voice, as long as she would be near him, it would be okay.
He had hoped for a while to be more than just friends, but the introverted side he had made him keep his feelings stuck inside, with no possibility to let them go out as he didn’t even have the courage to. That decision would have been something he would have regretted for a while if Ihedidn’t choose to say it that day at the bureau.
Well, It all was in the moment, it wasn’t intentional, not at all, it slipped out, and he regretted it at first, as his first thought was her rejection due to her non-shared feelings towards him.
“Hey Reid, you ready today? We don’t have any case for now, but we still have the paperwork from last day.”
“Oh- you’re talking to me? Sorry I- I thought of something. Could you repeat?”
“You? Distracted ? That isn’t surprising.”
“It’s rare, i’m paying attention most of the time.”
“Well you didn’t this time genius. Do you have a reason to defend yourself?” She said, in a playful tone.
“You.”
“...what?”
“I- I just, uh...it’s been a while since I wanted to tell uh…”
“...wanted to tell what?”
“That I- appreciate you; but not only in a…friendly way, it’s more than that. If you...get it. I...god, I’m probably making you feel uncomfortable right now.”
“Wait, you’re serious about this?”
“I’ve never been more serious than now.” Spencer said, not even stuttering, proving how serious he was in this moment.
“Then I feel the same, if that can answer your questions,.”
And that is how they began dating; with only eleven words; she had relieved him. He had been washed of all of his fears, now replaced with comforting thoughts.
He had never forgotten this sentence. If he didn't have an eidetic memory, he would have immediately grabbed a post-it not to forget it.
The tiniest things that had set their relationship had been the biggest ones that he cherishes the most.
Spencer likes her so much that he's always afraid to lose her whenever they're on a case; he always has to go with her.. Although she always was with the others, he couldn't let anything happen to her without being able to be here to protect her.
She doesn't want her to see him getting hurt either; even though she insists to be with him; it's funny; the fact that they want to protect each other all the time.
But now, he did want to protect her, he didn't want her to worry about problems she has yet to worry about.
We have enough problems.
I don't need to add more.
It won't do any good.
I'll solve it on my own.
Spencer crossed the door; as a group of officers and the team standing in the middle were. Hotch was walking through the room enunciating the profile of the unsub they were looking for, after managing to have enough information to form one.
Each word, each characteristic, would, or not, lead to the matter that had filled him for a week; he had tried for multiple times not to let the case reach him, it rarely did, and in that case, as it was mentioning a sensible matter, it wasn’t the most pleasant week at work, not really the kind of week he had imagine he’d had; especially not a one including a heavy mention of addiction with drugs that the victims had, and possibly the unsub as he knew specific types, and how to dose them enough to give a fatal dose. He either used them personally, or simply had knowledge of them: this fact couldn’t be confirmed yet.
“The unsub we’re looking for is most possibly a white male in his 30-40s, he [...] a stable situation, based on the frequency of the attacks, most of them being within working hours, and for a [...], killing people that don’t correspond to the type of victims he does his usual m.o; he’s perturbed, he knows people [...] ease in public, and probably may feel easily threatened and perturbed if someone [...], subjects that may trigger traumatism, causing him to become dangerous, and harm fatally other people if not controlled-”
Spencer hadn’t even listened to half of what he had just said, what he had been thinking about was taking more place in his mind than any other case would whenever he’d work to analyze it.
He had let himself get distracted, not daring to pay attention to his surroundings, to the point he hadn’t even seen y/n standing next to him, a worried expression plastered on her face.
Is it that obvious?
Is it obvious to the point she could notice it without profiling me? Or has she…?
“Spence, I think that we should head out for a moment.” She quietly said, grabbing the sleeve of his cardigan. “You don’t look okay. Are you alright?”
Am I?
“Uh...yeah, I-I’m doing fine, just a bit tired.”
“Everyone is, but I can clearly see it isn’t the same type.” She tightened her grip on his sleeve, pulling him out of the room.
After she had managed to find an empty room, y/n had opened it, pulling Spencer inside as she closed the door, before closing the blinds that could allow someone from the exterior to see the room. She had noticed the lock on the door, not hesitating to pull it towards the right to lock the room.
She looked at him, eyes tearing up. She placed a word before he had even gotten to.
“Spence, you know that...it’s okay if you’re...not okay, right?” She asked, hesitant.
“What...what do you mean?”
“You can tell me, it’s okay if you’re not okay. There is, no shame, to not be.” She said, as she sat on the seat next to her, Spencer following her action a second later. “..since when is it bothering you?” She placed a hand on his, rubbing circles with her thumb.
“When we...found out about the addiction matter, not long after we began working on the case. I don’t know why I stayed stuck on this.”
“Why didn’t you talk about it? If you had preferred to talk to someone else, I wouldn’t have been mad if you had gone to JJ, I know you guys have always been close.”
“I just thought that...I would bother everyone by adding my problems on top of the ones we already have. And I...didn’t know how to explain it.”
“And you didn’t want me to worry, right?” She asked, as he nodded. “I know that I worry about anything, but if it was about that, you know that I would have listened, and did my best to help, even though I wasn’t here when it had occurred. But I want you to know that I’m not mad about the fact you didn’t talk about it; I understand you.”
“I know you do. But, I was afraid you wouldn’t get it, or overstress because of it, because god knows that you stress about the tiniest thing,” He joked, earning a small chuckle from y/n. “But I just...kept thinking about it. The more I’d tell myself to stop thinking about it, the more it’d stay. I didn’t tell you everything about it, you just know about the livestream, and what the team had seen; and I...you know the next part, I had a problem with dilaudid; I had attempted to drug myself again, in the bathroom of an office, not long after. If Hotch hadn’t called me, I think that I would have done it.”
“But you didn’t, you managed to get the strength to stop. And you still have it now. We’re also here to give you the strength you need, support, whatever includes helping you. We’ve always been here, it won’t ever change. And even if we have a case, we’ll find a minute to talk with you. You never, but never, bothered us.”
“You sure…?”
“Absolutely. So here’s what we’re gonna do, we’re going to go back to the room; and go through the case. I would have wished that I could tell you to completely stop working, but we have to catch him before he does more damage. But after it’s done, we’ll get back home; talk about it, stay together, whatever could make you feel better. Because it’s okay to ask for help when you really think you need it, there’s no shame. I know that it’s complicated for you to talk about your problems in general, but if you feel like you need to talk to someone, we’ll be there, all of us.”
“Yeah, I know. But, I feel like how I felt a few days after it happened, when I was in the room with him, every single word, what he did to me, and...when I shot him. I still can’t erase the look he had on his face; I just…” He inhaled, wiping a stray tear from his eye. He wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, but when he was with y/n, it didn’t matter. “I...still think that I shouldn’t have split up with JJ, she could have gotten killed by these dogs if she didn’t have ammo. I still think that it’s all my fault.”
“It’s not Spencer. I know you still feel guilty, she felt guilty as well too when you got abducted; and even though I know you can’t erase what happened, everything is over, both of you are safe. I’m not a good talker, I know, but, to resume, I’m gonna help you with what you’re going through, you’re not alone. You’ll even take a week off if you need one, your health comes first; okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
“Do you think you can go back, or do you need to go outside for a bit?”
“No, It’s ok, I can go back.”
“Okay, let’s go then.” She said, as she took his hand, their fingers interlocking: as Spencer felt the warmth of her hand against his skin.
He liked feeling her warmth, it really was comforting, and would- somehow - chase the nightmares away, for a bit.
He doesn’t believe that the pain will go away, his addiction problem never went away, even though he didn’t use any drugs anymore.
It won’t ever go fully, it’ll always stay, deep inside.
But hopefully, her presence can possibly make it go away, make him forget, at least for while,
So it won’t always be colder on his own.
__________________
Tags: @writing-in-april ;
#criminal minds s2 ep15#criminal minds#criminal minds cbs#criminal minds fic#criminal minds angst#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencersblog
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the garden
word count : 1,920
warnings : mentions of homophobia.
If Emily was to compare her life to the bible, she would be able to claim that she was Eve, her faith was Adam, and you, oh you, were the serpent. Sent to the church to taint her, to taint the garden.
You would be called vile and every action you took was one against god. Each and every move you made would cause the downfall of the garden. While Emily believed herself to be Eve, in more than one way, she was the garden; beautiful, peaceful, and so full of love it was sickening to you.
You, even if Emily would protest it, were less like the serpent and more like Adam; young, naive, and willing to do anything to prove yourself to those around you. That mentality put you in the position you were in in the first place. Not wanting to disappoint your mother despite having been away from home since sophomore year of college. She wanted you to find purpose and truly believed you’d find purpose with God, but all you found, and all you’d ever wanted since your arrival was Mother Prentiss. Her charming smile and charisma drew you to her like bees to sunflowers, or more like the Serpent to the garden.
You had only been living in the clergy house for a few weeks, not far off from the main church grounds. If you had believed in the God the priests praise so highly, you’d be able to convince yourself that this really was a punishment like your mother had said. Your mother had convinced herself, as did many other churchgoers, that being gay was a sin. The memory of her cursing you, packing your bags and shipping you off to the church. She knew a few of the clergy members and they set up what your mother called ‘the only way to salvation.’ You begged her to try and understand, to be forgiving and love you for you, but the woman was stubborn and cruel.
‘You’re what?!’ Your mother’s voice raised from the understanding tone that she had before you began spilling your heart out to her.
You took in a shaky breath. You could feel your chest tightening and the tears burning in your eyes. ‘I’m gay mom, a lesbian.’ The words falling from your lips again cause the woman before you to rise from the chair at the table, the feet of the chair scraping your dining room floor. It felt as though your heart was thumping out of your chest. Like every breath you took was made of glass.
That’s when the silent praying began before she sat straight up. ‘Okay, we can fix this–fix you. I’ll call the priest and we can get you set up to figure all of this,’ She waved her hand in your direction. ‘Out. Make it better.’
Hail marys and our fathers or whatever. You were never sure. You never paid much attention when you went to church to know the prayers. Nobody worth paying to, until you’d arrived at the church. At first, you tried so hard to fit in, to abide by the church rules, but then she arrived. Three weeks into your stay you met your first female priest and to say that it was the closest you felt to reaching salvation would be an understatement. Of course, there were women in the church, but none of them could ever compare to Mother Prentiss. Nothing could compare to the feeling you got when you looked at her or when she looked at you. That first time she saw you made you change all your thoughts in the whole religion thing, but it also changed how you went along with being there. You were barely obedient before, not many ‘yes Fathers,’ but eye rolls and scoffs which soon became ‘yes Mother’ or ‘of course, Mother Emily, anything.’ It’s not that you wanted to please her, at least not in the way you were expected to, but you wanted her to notice you. To see you. You just wanted someone in this dull clergy house to really see you.
It was like you had faded into the masses, the same mundane tasks, the same meals every day, and the same fucking faces until Emily arrived. She was so beautiful. The light at the end of this never-ending Catholic tunnel. You knew that she noticed you once or twice in passing always giving you a kind smile or short wave. She was placed three rooms down from you and you made it your mission to get her to see you outside of the clothes the church provided. You knew that Emily would return to the house late after securing the church, so you made sure to wear your shortest shorts and thinnest shirt to grab water in the kitchen, knowing that she’d be returning then. The same night as Sunday mass was when your late nights almost paid off.
You’d been in the cold kitchen for roughly fifteen minutes, having already grabbed a glass of water and now it was just a waiting game. You didn’t want what you were doing to be too obvious, didn’t want her to pull away. The kitchen was dark, dimly lit by the moonlight coming in through the window. Just enough to keep you, or anyone else, from bumping into any of the old wood furniture. You were ready to give up when you heard the door in the main room creaking open. You were grateful for how old the building was, making it so easy to know when people were moving in or out. You moved quickly to the sink, pretending to be filling the cup, back turned to the kitchen entrance.
‘You’re up late.’ You feigned shock and turned around to Emily. Bewildered eyes meeting Emily’s brown ones. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. Is everything alright?’ You nodded, trying to ignore how Emily’s eyes raked up and down your body. A slight gasp when she noticed just how thin your tank top was.
‘Um–just couldn’t sleep, needed water.’ Emily moved closer to you, reaching down, pulling out a chair to sit at the dinner table. Never removing her eyes from yours. Something about the way she was staring at you, replaced the cold you felt being in the kitchen, with a warmth. Something all-consuming.
Emily continued searching your face for another emotion, trying to read you for some sadness. ‘Would you like to talk about it?’ You cocked a brow at her, not moving from your spot, leaning on the counter with a cup of water in hand. You’ve yet to drink from it.
You shrugged, placing the cup on the table and taking the seat closest to Emily. It would have been too close if you shifted even in the slightest, but you stayed at a safe distance, putting your elbows on the table and leaning forward, making a conscious effort to make sure if Emily wanted to, she could look directly down your shirt. You could feel that she wanted to but continued to make eye contact glancing down to your lips every so often.
‘I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. This house is just kinda creepy.’ Emily chuckled, leaning back in the chair. An action that should be simple, but your knees touched. Your bare skin touching her clothed knee made every part of your skin feel like it was on fire.
‘It’s old, yes, but hardly creepy,’ You pulled your bottom lip in with your teeth, shifting in your seat, pulling your knee back. A brief moment of disappointment in Emily’s face caused the corner of your mouth to curve up. ‘I always find that when people avoid sleep, something is on their mind. So, what is it?’ You leaned in closer on the table. You wanted her to look, everything in you wanted her to notice what you were trying to do.
‘Do you know why I’m here? Why I was sent here I mean,’ Emily cleared her throat, maintaining her composure. A quick nod, motioning you to continue. ‘My mom called Father Preston to tell him that I needed to be reconnected with God, but it was actually because I’m gay. I spilled it all out to her and she sent me here. No hesitation. Told me that she couldn’t love me if that was the life I choose. So I’m here.’ Emily sighed, eyes still searching for you to break. You knew that’s what she wanted, but you couldn’t give that to her yet. She then placed a hand on your knee, your next breath got stuck in your throat.
‘I am so sorry,’ She spoke your name softly. You never want anyone else to say your name again, this would be enough to satisfy you for life. ‘The church doesn’t hold those views, not here. If she had told Father Preston the exact reason, he never would have allowed it. No one should use the word of God in the way your mother did.’ You scoffed and Emily furrowed his brows in confusion. Her hand moved up your thigh as she shifted forward and you looked up at her giving her a long sigh to hide the noises you were holding in. How was she causing such a reaction from you?
‘I’m not angry about it, being here hasn’t been the worst thing to happen to me. It hasn’t been since you arrived,’ Emily was going to remove her hand, but you went to place yours above hers. ‘You seem different from the other priests. Kinder.’ She smiled at you. You took ahold of her hand on your thigh.
‘Every priest is different. I had a bit of a questionable past compared to the other guys. I think I’ve had more fun than they did.’ Her tone changed from pure concern to more playful. ‘From the looks of it, you like to have fun too. No one in this is house is up past 8:30.’ You laughed, remembering your water and using your other hand to take a sip, intentionally spilling some down your chin. The cold giving you chills as the water trained down your neck and through the valley of your breasts. Emily followed the trail, giving in to the temptation.
‘It depends on the kind of fun you’re talking about, Mother Prentiss.’ Her breathing hitched at the title. You wanted to test the waters by using your hand to slowly move hers up your thigh, over your hip, and lightly brush past the side of your breast. Her breathing became shallow, pupils dilating as she tried to keep her composure, You placed her hand on your cheek, leaning into her touch.
‘I don’t–I don’t think this is appropriate.’ Emily whispered trying to simply convince herself to move away from you. Emily then moved her hand to softly swipe her thumb on your bottom lip, then the top. You slightly opened your mouth as her finger moved, taking her thumb into your mouth and sucking slightly. Then Emily broke, pulling away abruptly, pushing the chair back as she stood. You remained still, looking up at her. Her frantic expression and quick breathing made you smile. ‘I have to go. I can’t–we can’t–have a good night. I’m sorry.’
Emily was quick to get upstairs, you sighed as you watched her go down the hall. You were so close and now you were left wet and on a mission.
#emily prentissxreader#emily prentissxyou#criminal minds fanfiction#cm fanfic#emily prentiss fanfic#priest!emily prentiss#criminal minds au#cm fanfiction#emily prentiss smut#smut
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Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Yuma Maniac [Epilogue]
Monologue
ーー Ever since I miraculously met Boss,
in that small yet enormous city,
I considered myself to be lucky.
However...this kind of ridiculous luck (1),
I never once asked for.
When I open my eyes, I am met with the sight,
of an unfamiliar ceiling.
I should have been shot.
In that case, is this Heaven?
...Seems a little filthy to be the case.
When I inspect my own body,
I find a bandage wrapped around my shoulder.
ーー No way. Is this it?
I checked my body from head to toe, but my injuries,
were barely any worse than when I got into a fight.
Like an absolute fool,
I wrongly assumed I had been shot,
and seemingly lost consciousness from the shock.
Pathetic. This makes Lucks’ nickname,
the name ‘bear’ seem like a joke. (2)
Perhaps they noticed I had gotten up,
but a single man approached me.
He was beaming with arrogance.
ーー Where am I?
When I asked this question, I was told ‘an orphanage’ in return.
Why am I here?
What happened to my other comrades?
What about our hideout? And Boss?
The man replied to my onslaught of questions.
‘I don’t know’, is all he said.
That one response told me everything.
Aah, just how many times,
must I lose my home?
ー The scene starts with a flashback at the orphanage
Bear: ...
Youngster: Oi, you!
Bear: ...
Youngster: Big guy, I’m talking to you. You’re Bear, aren’t you? Lucks’ loyal little follower. (3)
Bear: ...You’re...
( He was part of the team which set us up...! )
Gang Boss: I didn’t think there would be any survivors. How did you pull that off, huh?
Did your beloved Boss sacrifice himself for your sake, perhaps?
Bear: ( ...He’s only taunting me. Ridiculous. )
It’s none of your business. Scram.
Gang Boss: What’s this~? Seems like the bear who doesn’t know how to do anything but mindlessly attack has become quite tame?
Have you lost both your claws and fangs from the shock of losing your Boss?
Bear: ...
Gang Boss: Well, you’ve only got yourself to blame for ever associating with such a fool.
Just how much of an idiot do you have to be to fall for such a trap? Hyahahaha!
Bear: ...
*THUD*
Bear: ( Don’t make fun of Boss! )
*THUD*
Bear: ( You don’t know anything about him! )
*THUD THUD*
Bear: ( About how he felt, what he thought...! )
*THUD THUD THUD*
*TIMESKIP*
Orphanage employee B: Geez...You’ve only just arrived here and already you’re causing trouble. Go cool your head here for a bit.
Bear: ...I should have killed that piece of trash!
...Fuck!!
*THUD*
???: Excuse me? Could you not punch the wall right next to someone?
Bear: ...! Who’s there!?
???: Who, you ask? ...I’m your ‘senior’ here, you know? At this penalty room.
Bear: ...You pulled something too?
???: Hmー I guess you could say the opposite. I’m being supervised so I don’t do anything funny.
Bear: ...What do you mean?
???: That’s a secret. Everyone has their own story here.
Bear: ( ...What a weirdo. )
???: So, what did you do? You must have caused quite the trouble to be locked up in here?
Bear: ...There was a pest crawling around so I punched it. Then I was thrown in here as a punishment for nearly killing him.
???: Ahaha! For real!?
I heard this big shot who calls himself a gang boss was nearly beaten to death...So you’re the one responsible, huh?
Bear: So what?
???: Nothing, really. I hated that guy too, so serves him right. Thank you.
I’ve taken a liking to you. Say, what is your name?
Bear: ...Bear.
???: Bear? What a strange name.
Bear: It’s a nickname. My real name...I don’t even know myself.
???: You don’t? How come?
Bear: I don’t remember.
???: Ah, I’ve heard of that. ‘Memory something’, right? Hm...I suppose you haven’t had it easy either.
Bear: ...Oi. You ask for my name, but you keep quiet about your own, huh?
Kou: Ah, right. I’m Kou.
It’s so dull in here, so I’m glad to have a companion. Nice to meet you, Bear-kun.
Bear: ( ...He really is a weirdo. But...I talked to someone for the first time in a while. )
( ...I see. I must have been lonely... )
Monologue
After barely talking to anyone,
since my arrival at the orphanage,
I talked to Kou about all sorts of things,
the words gushing out like breaking a dam.
Kou was somewhat of an odd fellow,
but I never felt uncomfortable talking to him,
I found him to be quite mysterious.
Above all, Kou would never
make fun of Boss.
I felt like that alone was enough,
for us to be able to become friends.
ー The flashback ends as the scene shifts to the garden
Yuma: ...They just won’t bloom.
Boss, do you...bear a grudge against me?
Am I being arrogant for wanting to inherit your dream...?
Ruki: Oi, Yuma. ...Come with me, there is something we have to talk about.
Yuma: ...
*TIMEKSIP*
ー The scene shfits to the library
Yui: Uhm...Ah, found it.
*Rustle*
Yui: ( Thank god, they have it at the library as well. )
( A Bible...It’s been a while since I held one of these. I left my own at the Sakamaki manor after all. )
( ...I know reading this won’t erase everyting I’ve done so far, nor will it change anything... )
( However, I don’t want to live my life simply giving up and sitting still. )
Yuma: The fuck ya doin’, Sow!?
Yui: Hyaah!!
*THUD*
*Rattle*
Yuma: Shut up! Don’t make a damn ruckus in the library!
Yui: S-Sorry...Or rather, you’re the one shouting, you know?
Yuma: Idiot! I’m allowed to! Don’t sweep us under the same rug!
Yui: ( He’s not making any sense...Well, there’s barely any people here right now so I guess it’s fine. )
Yuma: Why are ya still loiterin’ ‘round this place even after classes have ended? Come on, we’re goin’ home!
Yui: Ah, hold on. I’m gonna go borrow this book then.
Yuma: Aahn? What a drag. Just take it with ya, who cares.
Yui: I can’t do that! You have to register it when you borrow a book after all.
I’ll be right back, so hold on, okay?
Yuma: Che...I’ll be outside, ‘kay? I can’t grow used to the air in here. Listen, ya better show up within 10 seーー
...The fuck’s this book?
Yui: Ah...
Yuma: ...The Bible...?
Oi...Why do ya read this crap?
Yui: Why, you ask...? I wanted to do some research, on Nuns as well...
Yuma: Aahn...?
Yui: I told you it’s my dream, right? It might be impossible, but I don’t want to just give up either...
Yuma: So? ...This is what ya came up with?
Yui: ( W-Why...? Is Yuma-kun upset about something? )
*THUD*
Yui: Ow...!
Yuma: This kinda crap is totally useless!
On top of that, ya decide to read a Bible out of all things...Are ya doin’ this out of spite towards me!?
Ya wanna become a holy woman or somethin’!? You’re a Vampire’s prey, don’t be ridiculous!!
Yui: Y-Yuma-ku...?
Yuma: Shut up! Don’t open yer mouth!!
*Rustle*
Yui: ( ...Why? Why is he this enraged...!? )
Yuma: Yer dream will never come true!
That was decided from the moment blood flew from that body of yers! Yet...!
Ya keep on strugglin’ in vain like a fool! It’s a damn eyesore...!!
Yui: Uu...!
Yuma: In that case...I don’t mind makin’ it so ya don’t have even the slightest bit of hope left?
If I just suck yer blood right now, suckin’ ya dry...Turnin’ ya into a Vampire just like me.
Ya won’t even dream of becomin’ a damn Nun, will ya?
Yui: ( Yuma-kun...Why...? )
( He never told me to give up when I talked about my dreams... )
ー Yuma bites her
Yui: Ah...!
Yuma: ...Nn...
Having dreams...is utter bullshit.
Chasin’ after a dream which will never come true, won’t do ya any good...
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
Translation notes
(1) 悪運 or ‘aku-un’ may seem like it means ‘bad luck’ because it has the kanji for ‘悪い’ or ‘warui’ in it. However, it actually refers to extreme good luck, which you may or may not want or deserve. In this case, Yuma did not want to be so lucky to be the only surviving gang member.
(2) Literally it says that the name would ‘cry’, implying that he failed to live up to it.
(3) They use the term 腰巾着 or ‘koshi-ginchaku’, which actually is the word to refer to a purse you wear around your waist. I assume this implies that Bear & Lucks were always together.
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<- [ Maniac 10 ] [ Ecstasy Prologue ] ->
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Do Angels giggle?
Warning: Mentioned death of multiple people, a teeny tiny bit of angst, swearing, but otherwise you should be fine
Word count: 4k (sis snapped again)(I should really stop doing this tbh)
Summary: A rumor of an angel kidnapping criminals and leads them to a path of justice and Jason is on the suspects track. He hasn’t expected to be caught and he surely hasn’t expected what met him there...
This was requested by @middevil465: 'Babe did you fall from heaven bc you seem to be a chaotic ever shifting sphere of eyes & wings making a sound not of this earth and I’m kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying' with jason x reader
Jason really didn't plan on this to happen. He didn't plan on getting caught while spying on the current suspect in a case of criminals disappearing only to re-appear with no memory of what happened and babbling of being lead to a better life by an angel. And he certainly didn't plan to end up in a warehouse that was decorated with a clearly religious altar and other things that heavily reminded him of the church. The only thing that wasn't church-y was the fact that he was tied to a - honestly not uncomfortable - chair in front of the altar.
The worst fact was that he, too, couldn't remember how he ended up here. He had some flashes of memories, about how Bruce assigned him to the case, about how he found a man that all the criminals who found themselves 'victim' had met sometime before their disappearance and how he'd found and followed him before he blacked out.
And now he was here. He wasn't really afraid as much as he was concerned and curious about what was going to happen next. Bruce could easily track him as soon as he noticed he wasn't answering so there was also not much reason to try to escape before he knew what was going on here or if he was in any serious danger.
Jason wasn't sure what to expect. Tortue, drugging, brainwashing? He knew the man must have some kind of secret weapon that made him able to re-write these criminals to his liking, but he wasn't quite sure why. Everyone in the cave had different theories. Bruce and Dick thought that he maybe got information about their 'businesses', deleted the memory and sold the info, Damian and (surprisingly enough) Tim thought that the criminals had been involved in something bigger, all of them involved somehow, and the person (or people) who hunted them down and changed their memories and life choices, were on a hunt for information. Steph and Cass had agreed that it was a cult or a conspiracy and Barbara had said that she wouldn't make any theories just yet, or rather not reveal hers. Jason had a more sinister thought though. He knew about the criminal world better than most others in his family, once having been a big part of it too, and he thought that whoever was able to do this, was slowly building an empire, first taking out smaller criminals, snitches and errand boys, maybe as to test their methods, before going for the big fish and re-writing them to take over their territory. It was honestly a good plan, but the fam wasn't really happy about it. Having an enemy that could delete and rewrite memories and demeanours could be a real threat.
That was why Jason needed to find out how they did it.
But he didn't see anything in the warehouse room that would implicate what they used for their plan, only all that church stuff, and Jason considered that it was probably something to harden the illusion that it was an angel who showed them the 'light'.
"I've seen thou have been awakened, man in the blooded hood," a male voice echoed through the large space and bounced off the walls. The man he had followed stepped in front of him in a robe that reminded him of a monk.
"It's crimson, bitch," Jason snarkily responded and couldn't help the smirk on his face, but it didn't seem to even slightly faze him.
"Many have found the devil in their words in this city, but we, the church of hope and new ways, have made it our mission to bring thou, wrongdoers, to a path of justice and good, to a path of the angel."
So Cass and Stephanie were right after all? A cult, really?
"So that's all very noble and all, at least in theory, but ya know, I'm kinda on your side. With hunting and jailing criminals and all that jazz."
"Thou words are full of sin that thou not even recognize, but don't fret, we will free you of them, free you of the devil within and bring you on a path of belief and light, we will bring thou to face with the angel that hath shown us the way too."
Now that was next-level crazy, Jason thought and rolled his eyes under his still worn helmet.
"Well, knock yourself out," he sighed and leaned back in the chair.
Seemingly listening to Jason, the man disappeared through a door and suddenly all the lights in the room went out, leaving Jason in complete darkness, unable to turn on the night vision in his helmet.
He heard another door on the other side opening and light steps echoed through the room, but whoever came in didn't make any other sounds but that.
Then he was blinded by the brightest light he had most likely ever seen and what his eyes saw when the light simmered down a bit and he got used to the brightness made him freeze to the core.
The words that left his mouth next were the result of habit more than thought, but he said them nonetheless: "Babe did you fall from heaven because you seem to be a chaotic ever-shifting sphere of eyes and wings making a sound not of this earth and I'm kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying."
He wasn't wrong though. In front of him was, in fact, actually an ever-shifting sphere of eyes and wings that was making sounds that were clearly not human, neither anything that he had ever heard off-world and even though Jason was by no means religious, he had heard enough about how the angels in the bible were described to identify this thing in front of him as an angel.
Suddenly the ever so brave, fearless and cocky Jason Todd stared at that being in front of him and his hidden face was drawn by fear and terror. He could deal with torture and pain, he could deal with technology and drugs, but he couldn't deal with whatever would be happening next. What would be happening next?
Well, whatever it was that he expected, it sure as hell wasn't what happened.
The sphere that he feared more than he had feared anything in the last years started to giggle. GIGGLE! Do Angel's even giggle? How would I ever know if angels giggle?
The glow died down and the shifting intensified, the eyes were closing and drawing together, the wings merging too until there was only one pair left and the sphere turned into a different form, something longer and more humanly shaped, until it did a final change and turned into a girl. And what a girl she was. Jason's breath was stolen by her and the atmosphere surrounding her. She looked stunning in every sense of the word, from the Y/S/C skin that was basically glowing with angelic shine, her hair that was somehow looking like a halo even though it was nothing like one and her face that seemed to be sculptured by whoever created this hellhole called life themselves.
And don't let him get started on the pair off wings that she was still sporting on her back. It was quite honestly gigantic. So big that its lowest part was reaching the floor and the highest part was still a few inches higher than her head. He could imagine that they would fill out the entire room if she was to stretch them out and the thought alone made him somewhat fuzzy in his head.
He wished he could describe their colour, but he was sure that it was none of the ones he had ever seen on any planet, ever, he wasn't even sure if his eyes should be humanly able to comprehend the colour and yet there he sat looking at them. He was so impressed by these celestial limbs that he didn't even notice the fact that the girl was, in fact, completely naked.
But even if he'd notice it, he wouldn't have seen her body as something sexual. The way she was moving like it was completely natural would more likely make him feel ridiculous for ever thinking of a naked body as something as intimate.
And then her voice. Her voice was even more divine than anything else, making his whole body tense up and relax simultaneously.
"You are full of darkness, but your darkness is unlike anything else they have shown me," she stated matter-of-factly and she came close to him, rounding him a few times with curiosity in her eyes, "And not just your insides are different than the ones they showed me, your head seems to have a sort of protective shell, how magnificent."
Is she talking about my helmet? Does she think it is a part of me?
"Uhm, Miss Angel, that isn't a part of my body, it's removable," he said, surprised that he was even able to talk with his heart basically having stopped beating.
Her eyes widened in child-like wonder and she kneeled down in front of him, her wings spreading out slightly beside her to accommodate the change in height.
"Would it be okay if I were to take it off?" she asked in innocence that Jason has quite honestly never seen before.
"Uhm, sure," Jason answered, completely having forgotten the whole reason that he was here in the first place.
Her delicate hands slowly found their way to were his helmet laid over his ears and she looked into the general direction of were his eyes were, her Y/E/C orbs seemingly shifting colour every time she moved even an inch.
"I'll try to be careful," she hummed and started trying to get it off, changing her tactic ever so often when she noticed that it wasn't working, but instead of telling her what to do, Jason just looked at the angel and couldn't find any words.
Finally, after about two minutes, she managed to pull it off and carefully laid it down beside the chair, before finally leading her gaze to his now, except for the domino mask, uncovered face. She didn't say anything, just bringing her hands up to his face and tracing it, including every scar, no matter how little, and every edge.
Even though he had been in awe before, now he could almost comprehend why the criminals changed their ways, hell, at that moment he'd burn the city down without hesitation if she'd asked for it. Finally, her fingers wandered over the edges of his mask and when he gave her a small nod of consent, she somehow managed to peel it off and free his eyes for her to see. He didn't mind that she now knew what he looked like, that she could now identify him, but to be honest, he didn't think much about it, too caught up in that moment and that moment only.
Their eyes met in a moment of complete silence whit the only sound present in Jason's head was the pounding of his heart and the rushing of his blood.
"You are really unlike the others aren't you?" her voice broke that moment, but he somehow knew that he wasn't expected to answer. For a few heartbeats, the two off them stayed in place, before the angel ruffled her feathers, the sound echoing through the warehouse, like dozens of birds flying away. She raised back to her full size, her wings folding back to where they had originally been.
"Tell me, why do my saviours want me to bring you to the light? I can see that it is already in you, it may be clouded and darkened, but it is there," she asked him and her hand was cupping his cheek in an act that seemed unnoticed by herself as if she was doing it unconsciously. Jason wasn't quite sure how to respond to that question, but he noticed something else in what she said, something that formed confusion in him.
"Your saviours? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"
"How do you mean that?" the angel asked with honest naive confusion written over her face as she cocked her head to the side and folded her hand in front of her bare stomach.
"Well, uh, I'm no expert by any means, but you're an angel right?" She nodded but kept quiet as if that question didn't give her a clue as to what he meant. "Uhm... Angels are creatures sent by God and...uhm...they are over humans, right? So how is that guy and whoever he works with your saviour? Is he Jesus or something?" What she answered was something he didn't even remotely expect.
"Who?"
"Jesus? Your Boss's son? God sent messiah to free all humans? Allegedly forgave us for our sins and got killed for that?" Jason rambled and tried to count down everything he still remembered. The angle put her hand in front of her mouth in shock at his words.
"That sounds horrible, is he okay?" she asked in a tone that made it pretty clear to Jason that she did, first of all, not know who Jesus was, and second, had no idea what killing actually meant.
"Uhm, sure, he's great, somewhere up there with his dad, I guess," Jason just shrugged, not really caring about that topic anymore and more focusing on all the facts about her being an angel that didn't add up. "Can you tell me about yourself?" he just boldly asked her, but it didn't seem to phase her at all, in fact, she brightened up at the possibility to tell him about her.
"Uhm, I can't tell you much, but I was saved by the church of hope and new ways when they found me after what they called a miracle, they took care of me and explained to me that I was sent to them to be their tool to re-shape the world," she explained with a somewhat proud undertone, but Jason's feeling got cemented. The feeling that she had actually no idea what was going on around her and what she was used to do, and the feeling that she may not really be the sort of angel he, and seemingly she, believed she was.
"Re-shape the world?" he investigated further, a small voice muttering theories in the back of his head.
"Mhm," she nodded and her right wing folded itself slightly in front of her as if she was nervous or shy, "They bring men who are filled with darkness and they have me look into them, look if they have light and make me watch their mind, then they have told me to bring them into the sun, I show them the way that they tell me is right, make them believe in the church."
Her words were slightly wary and Jason could recognize the doubt in them. She wasn't doing this voluntarily...
"Do you want to do that?" he asked to clarify things for himself, and maybe also her. Her eyes wandered to the door the mock-monk had disappeared in and Jason could have sworn he saw something like fear in them.
"I- Uhm- Yes," she nodded, but couldn't look at the man in front of her, she had almost turned her whole body away from him.
"I don't believe you."
"Why?" her voice wasn't as childish and curious and innocent anymore, it was small and fragile.
"I'm not sure, but I think they are lying to you, I think you aren't an angel. I mean, you're sure as hell no human, but you're not an angel, at least not one in the...uhm..traditional sense."
This seemed to gain her attention in a way that had her turning around again and made her take a step towards him.
"Do you really think so? Because... I have tried to tell them, but they said no to all my questions, they told me that I am the tool for the church, that that is my only task and that I would be lost without them, but I can see it in them too. The darkness, they tell me to turn into light, is in them too, but they don't let me change it, they tell me I must see something that isn't there... And not only that... I have memories, memories of the Miracle. I see flashes of other people, people that make my heartache, and flashes of a building, one that looked like this room here on the inside.
"And then there are other flashes, flashes I have at nights when I'm resting, there are loud noises and heat is licking at my skin, at my back, at my whole body, and there are so many screams."
She seemingly didn't find the connection between those memories, but Jason sure as hell did. It was mainly a theory at that point, but he believed that she had been at church with her family when it burned down, maybe there was magic involved or she had the meta-gen inside her, but while her family burned she must have turned into the angel she was now, losing most of her memory in the process. The people that must have found her and figured out of the great powers she had, had decided to use her for their own sinister plans and she was none the wiser, Jason couldn't know if she had always been that naive and innocent, but she was now and, even though he had only known her for a matter of maybe half an hour, she had grown on him if he was being honest.
"Can you see into other people's heads? Can you read other people's memories too?" he asked, a small plan forming in his mind.
She looked at him in thought, but she seemingly was somewhat intrigued.
"I believe so, I have only done it one or two times."
"Read my mind, read my memories," he almost commanded, but she was taken off for other reasons.
"Why would you want me to do that? My saviours tell me that it isn't my place to do so..."
"I know this is confusing and what you will see will shock you, but I hope you will be able to trust me after that, trust me to help you, get you out of here." The prospect of being away from her 'saviours' seemed to make her interested, but there was something else that she had to know beforehand.
"Will you stay with me? Will you take me with you? I can't be alone, I don't know where to go, what to do, I can't- don't think that I can survive all alone," she looked away and he could see the fear and pain, of not knowing what the future would hold in her whole demeanour, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, but the restraints that were still binding him to the chair were keeping him from doing so.
"If you don't want to be, you won't be alone, I will take you with me, we will go through this together, okay?"
"Okay," she smiled slightly and came to him, her hands hovering over the rope around his chest and, in a for Jason surprising turn of event, her palms started glowing and the rope basically disintegrated leaving him free to stand up, having to physically restrain himself from holding her.
"This won't be happening to me too?" he asked gesturing to what was still left off the rope. And she giggled again. God, he had almost forgotten how heavenly that giggle was.
"No, I don't think it will," she said in a tone as if she was honestly questioning her statement, but before he could say anything about it her hands found themselves on the sides of his temple and the last thing that echoed through the room before the angel fell unconscious in his arms was her scream.
When the angel woke up she felt utterly exhausted. She had seen everything that had ever happened in Jason's life, including his death and every time he had killed, and she had felt it like she was it who experienced it. It had literally drained her, but Jason was correct, as she woke up again, she trusted him with her life and more. She knew him now. Possibly better than anyone else in the world.
And not only that, when her eyes opened he was the first thing she saw. She was laying in his lap, something that was astounding enough considering the giant wings that were spread out beside her and partly over Jason, and somewhere along her time of being in his memories he had taken off his brown leather jacket and had put it on her and zipped it up, keeping the, in normal standards, intimate parts of her body hidden from sight.
What the angel couldn't see were the bodies of the people who had, in Jason's opinion, used you for the past few months that were stacked in the backroom and, if he was lucky, not dead.
"Sorry you had to see this, but I wanted for you to be able to completely trust me," Jason whispered, his hands caressing through her hands.
"It's okay, I understand," she hummed back and they both knew that she meant more than just the statement about him wanting her to trust him. "Can we leave now?"
"Of course," he smiled and helped her up, having been made aware earlier when she passed out that her wings added more to her body weight than he had anticipated, but that was to expect, they were robust and spread out almost twice as big as Jason in width.
The angel, who Jason really needed to find a name for, had the wing on the side opposite of where Jason stood beside her, drawn in, but the one that was on his side was spread out behind him like a shield, curling around him slightly, but he just smiled and slightly shook his head at that. He honestly really didn't know what it was about the girl, his angel, or the whole situation itself, but a really small part of him wanted to believe that maybe there was something like a bigger picture, maybe not necessarily a god, but something that had brought them together, something that had wanted to make him know that the two of them knowing each other was meant to be.
#Jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#dc x reader#batfamily#batfam x reader#batfam#fluff#angst#oneshot
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Discredit Pt. 2: More Recommended Reviews For A.Z. Fell’s
Alright, folks. Some notes first:
1. You all rock. I’m sending out 20k+ virtual hugs for all the notes I NEVER expected to get on this nonsense.
2. This is probably the final section, just because I’m not sure I can adequately follow up part one and it might be foolish to attempt it here. Let alone twice. But for now, here we go.
3. Kudos to the anon who reminded me of Aziraphale’s cash-only policy <3
4. Nicole Y’s review is based off an actual comment I read years ago, but heaven only knows where online it was. I’ve got the memory of a goldfish.
5. Trigger warning for the use of a queer slur in this. It’s the same review as above, number 5 if you want to avoid it.
6. There’s a text-only version of just the reviews at the end, after all the images. I’ll upload that to my Sparse Clutter collection on AO3 in a bit.
Bonus 7. People thinking this is a real shop deserve all the good things in this world.
That’s all I’ve got. Hope you enjoy! 👍
****************************************************************************
I’m a simple guy who likes simple jokes. If there’s a whoopee cushion I plant it. I will call you up to ask if your refrigerator is running and then tell you to go catch it. (Actually that one died out so thoroughly it’s actually capable of a comeback now!). Yes, I’m a dad and yes, I have a t-shirt that says Dad Jokes? I Think You Mean Rad Jokes! which I wear un-ironically every Saturday. All of which is just to say that my wife was well prepared for my stupidity when I walked into Fell’s.
I? I was not.
You see the bibles when you walk in? The ones to the left? Let them be. Don’t even look at them. Definitely don’t pick out the fanciest one you can find and absolutely don’t walk up to the owner with it held in your pudgy little fingers, grinning like a loon, cheerfully asking whether this should be in the fiction section. Just don’t. Mark my words you’ll regret it. Though your wife won’t. She’ll get a great old laugh out of it all.
In conclusion: it’s quite possible that mama did raise a fool and he just got his ass verbally whooped by a guy in a bowtie.
***
Shout-out to Mr. Fell for being the only decent bloke in this city. I’ve popped in and out of his store for years—including before I started transitioning. So he knew my dead name, dead look, whole shebang and I was definitely nervous to play the ‘You know me, but this is what’s changed and are you gonna throw a fit about it?’ game.
You know what he said? “Oh, Rose! What a lovely choice. Crowley dear, why aren’t you growing any roses? Some white ones would look splendid next to my Henredon chair.”
That’s it. He just went straight into dragging his partner for not giving him roses. So hey, Mom? Next time you’re snooping through my social media why don’t you explain to all these nice people why the 50+yo book seller accepts me in ways you won’t. Don’t go telling me age is an excuse or that you’re ‘Stuck in your ways.’ I’ve watched Fell dress in the same damn clothes since I was ten!!
Yeah. Sorry. Rant over. Fell’s a gem. That’s my take. Rose out.
***
Anyone else in the shop when that guy started yelling about buying pornography? And then got escorted into the back room for some ‘private conversation’? Well done, Mr. Fell! Didn’t know you had it in you.
***
Alright alright alright alright I am TOTALLY calm about this.
Went into A.Z. Fell’s last Thursday. Not because I knew anything about the place. Just because I’ve been hitting up every bookshop within a twenty-mile radius, asking if they’re hosting any book signings. Long story short I self-published my novel Blight last month—which you can get for a mere £5 here but I swear this isn’t a promotional thing I’m just BROKE—and have been looking for networking opportunities, tips, stuff like that. So the owner listened politely as I explained all this. Then said he didn’t do anything of that sort, which didn’t surprise me given the shop’s vibe.
But then? Then??? He offered to let me do a signing there??????
As said. Totally calm about this. This man either plans to kidnap me or is actually giving me my first shot at an audience outside my blog. AKA totally worth the risk.
Tuesday the 9th. 7:00pm. Just in case anyone’s interested ;)
***
holy sweet baby jesus i was tripping balls last week you tryin’ to tell me that kING KONG SIZED FANGED FUCK SNAKE IS REAL
***
Witnessed the most perfect exchange the other day:
Grumpy Dude With No Manners: “You. Boy. Where’s the man I spoke with over the phone?”
Mr. Fell’s Partner Who Knows Damn Well Only Two of Them Work There But Clearly Doesn’t Like This Guy’s Tone: “Did this man give you his name?”
Grumpy Dude: “Might have. Don’t remember. Sounded like a fairy though.”
Me: “....”
My girlfriend: “....”
This Poor Sweet Startled Kid On Our Left: “?!?!?!?”
Fell’s Partner In The Drollest Voice I’ve Ever Heard: “None of us have wings. Out!”
***
This shop gets full stars simply because every time I walk in they’re playing Queen.
I mean, I’ve walked in once, but once is enough when you’ve got Crazy Little Thing Called Love blasting full volume.
***
Okay, I’m still kind of shaken up but I needed to write this out somewhere and this seemed as good a place as any.
I spilled my latte on a book. Just tripped on thin air, popped the lid, and chucked a venti’s worth of coffee all over a very expensive looking text. I didn’t mean to, obviously, but it happened and I just started bawling on the spot. Full on sobs because this semester has been absolute hell, I ruined this guy’s antique, there’s no way I can pay for it, I can’t even sneak away because I’m drawing the whole store’s attention...just all the things all at once. I really was straight up panicking and was seconds away from pulling out my inhaler. I couldn’t breathe.
And then Mr. Fell showed up.
Jesus it’s embarrassing to admit but I think I hit him once or twice. On the arms I mean, because he was trying to touch me and I figured, I don’t know, it was a restraint or something. He was going to call the police and hold me until they got there. But then he managed to start rubbing my back and I lost it like I hadn’t already been bawling my eyes out in this shop. Ever cry into a perfect stranger’s chest? I have! But if Mr. Fell seemed to mind he definitely didn’t show it. Just kept holding me while I probably ruined his shirt and then took me into the back and made me a new coffee in this cute little angel mug. He let me stay there while I called my sister and waited for her to arrive.
She’s a good twenty minutes outside of Soho, so we talked for a while. It’s not like Mr. Fell could fix my shit roommate or bio classes, but I guess just talking about it all really helped. I was a lot calmer by the time my sis arrived and Mr. Fell insisted I come back any time I wanted—for browsing or more coffee.
Of course, sis offered to pay for the book herself. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so surprised in my life. “Certainly not!” he said. “Contrary to popular belief, no one should pay for their mistakes. It’s what makes you all so wonderfully human.”
So yeah. Thanks, Mr. Fell.
***
This little shop must have started a book club for kids! Lately I’ve seen the same group of children hanging out at Fell’s. Three boys and a girl. They’re a bit rambunctious at times, but who isn’t at that age? So wonderful seeing literature passed down to the next generation. Even if some of it is rather questionable looking...
***
It’s an honest crime that more of you aren’t talking about what a wonderful bookstore this is.
I’m a book lover at heart and Fell’s always makes me feel like I’m coming home. I just arrived somewhere safe and familiar after a particularly harrowing day. I’ve slipped under the covers of my bed after dinner and a bubble bath. It’s something like that, but with an element of surprise too. One of the reasons why I adore private and used shops over chain stores is that little touch of chaos. You walk in and sure, there are general sections to browse, but everything is just a little bit disorganized from people leafing through books and then putting them back somewhere else. There’s no real record keeping, you’ve just gotta head to one particular corner and hope for the best. It’s not the sort of place you go to if you want something specific because the chances of them having it are slim—that’s just how the universe works—and even if they did no employee knows where it is anymore.
But if you wander the shelves for a while, crouch down low to get a look at everything on the bottom shelf, pay attention to the books that don’t have easy to read titles or any summaries to speak of... you just might find something you didn’t know you were looking for. That’s Fell’s: the comfort of the familiar and the excitement of the unknown.
***
A lot of people might assume that these stories are embellished or outright made up, but as a bookseller myself going on twenty years I believe every single one of them.
That being said, I accidentally moved a rug and found chalk sigils that look like they belong in a cult. Make of that what you will.
***
There’s a special place in hell for 21st century shop owners that only take cash. Who carries cash anymore? Not me! I haven’t bothered with that nonsense in years! You can get a card reader for 15 pounds on Amazon. Or you know what? Be stingy and pay 7 for the little attachment on your phone. This place is nuts if it thinks it’s going to survive much longer on a cash-only policy, especially with some books that look like they’re worth hundreds or thousands of pounds! Yeah, yeah, just let me pull out this giant wad of bills for you. I’ll carry them around a crime-laden city because there’s no ATM near you either.
I mean jesus, you’d think this guy didn’t want to sell anything.
***
I walked in. There was a man screaming at a fern while another threatened him with an umbrella. I walked out.
5 stars do recommend.
***
I once walked in on the same (?) guy yelling at a book for daring to fall on the owner’s head. I think that’s just a Thing over there.
***
Like a lot of people here I didn’t actually go to Fell’s for any books (flat tire, Angel Recovery taking forever) and ended up staying three hours (not because of Angel). No, I wandered towards the back and found this ancient CRT set propped on a table of books, the kind that my Dad used to watch Twilight Zone on. This lanky guy had a marathon of Gilmore Girls going... though how he was managing that with a broken antenna and no DVR, I really don’t know. But yeah. He told me to pull up a chair and I did. Guy gave me popcorn.
I wish I’d paid a little more attention to his name. Charlie? Curley? I really can’t remember, but thanks for the enjoyable afternoon, man.
***
I BOUGHT A BOOK HERE
Not sure how though. Just kinda happened. First edition of Just William. Frankly I didn’t even want the thing, but the owner basically shoved me out the door with it when I took two seconds to look at the spine. Odd that he was so willing to part with this one.
Update: ... hold up. I didn’t buy a book because I never actually paid the guy. ‘Basically shoved me out the door’ was literal. Do I go back??
***
This page has really gone feral the last couple of months so I’m just gonna bite the bullet and say it:
Anyone notice that Fell’s snake and Fell’s partner are never in the same room together?
***
I really don’t like the implications of this…
***
This is precisely why the Internet has turned into a cesspool. You all should be ashamed of some of the stuff you’re writing here. Can’t two men just be friends anymore? Two real life men? These guys aren’t some characters for you to ‘ship’ or whatever. Quit making outrageous assumptions about their sexualities and use this website for what it’s actually for: reviewing the bookshop. Honestly I’m so sick of this sort of this shit.
***
Dude. They run a queer-focused shop together with a flat on the second floor. Fell calls the guy ‘Dear’ and he’s always calling him ‘Angel.’ People have literally seen them kissing. If you want I can give you the number of my physician. He might be able to help you pull your head out of your ass.
***
What the hell is your problem? I’m literally just reminding people to stop making assumptions. It’s gross and insulting. These guys check their Yelp page. You really think they’re gonna be okay with this stuff?
Also: I’m not the five-year-old relying on insults, so.
***
Making an account purely to set the record straight: I’m the hot twink in question and I married that angel. Peace
#good omens#ineffable husbands#air conditioning#good omens fic#guess who spent 48 hours doing nothing but writing and formatting#can I get a wahoo
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Born to Die| OSH | 06
pairing: Oh Sehun x Reader
genre: Mafia!Sehun
rating: 18+
warnings: violence, gun use, mature language, smut (in future chapters), slow burn.
words: 13.4k
summary: a collusions of worlds is supposed to kill, but what if it can do something else?
A/N: chapter 06, who would of thought huh? i certainly didn’t think anyone would care about this fic to begin with but here we are... 6 chapters in and 14 left to go! I hope you all enjoy, remember feedback is appreciated so drop into my askbox, lets chat ;)
TW// Warning this part contains some material that might be sensitive to readers as it depicts scenes of blood and violence, readers discretion is advised.
Masterlist | next
The sound of wet shoes slapping against the pavement and the overwhelming humidity laying itself thick on his lungs was often something that Chanyeol liked to cherish about summer evening – to feel the season in the air and know that you were set for a long break away from the burdens of life, but what Chanyeol didn’t cherish was the pelting of rain whipping against his face in those summer evening as he ran for his life.
The thickness in the air made it almost impossible to breathe at the rate he was going, the feeling of his blood carting around his veins at impossible speeding making almost impossible to keep running; but he had to keep going.
“Come on…” He panted to himself, shivering at the feeling of his clothes clinging to him in such an awful way that he wanted to shed the damn second skin immediately.
The screeching of his shoes against the pavement as he rounded the corner reminded him of just the predicament he was in; homeless, alone, and wondering when whoever was looking for him would eventually catch up. It was a lot for a 20-year-old, a lot to think about and a lot to deal with, but Chanyeol made his own decision to leave home and he had to live with it.
They say the best things in life are often not planned, and to Chanyeol at one point that might have been true – but he knew deep down as he waded through the rain for his life, that every moment he spent fucking up got him here. Leaving your 20s was supposed to signify leaving behind adolescences and entering adulthood, but for him, it meant leaving behind his mistakes in the teens and carrying that burdens into his adult life. Glancing behind him briefly, he winced softly at the rain pelting against his flushed cheeks, the skin raw with the force of the water, but through the blurriness of the weather he could still spot the distorted shaped following him; clothed in black and hungry for vengeance.
“More like hungry for money,” Chanyeol corrected his inner monologue softly, taking a moment to shove his hair out his face as he kept running.
The streets were barren of people, the occasional passing car showing the thickness of the rain that coated the ground – the lights glinted off it like stars passing, Chanyeol liked the city rain but he liked living more.
“Shit.” The young man swore, hearing the boom of a gun before a bullet whizzed past him lodging in the pavement in front of him, his tattered shoes skidding to a stop in freight.
Eyes glancing at the cracked gravel where the smoking bullet laid now – its world took a complete turn as his running stopped, unsure if the chase was worth it anymore. Glancing around the street Chanyeol took in what he thought could be his final moment, the rundown restaurants and homes witness to his life. He could hear the footsteps rushing closer and his eyes shut softly as his neck went limp, shaggy hair falling into his eyes as the strands clumped together in a wet mess that dripped onto his face.
“I’m sorry...” He thought to himself, sighing softly at the sound of footsteps nearing closer, he was bracing himself for the impact when his eyes burst open.
The feeling of a hand grabbing his sleeve and yanking him sideways sent him tumbling behind however done it, the familiar sound of a gun clocking filling the small ally – he winced softly at the impact his body to the ground but his eyes still flicked up to see who done it; a rather well dressed guy who looked around the same age as himself had his back to Chanyeol, now looking at the guy who was chasing him with his gun pointed.
“Give me the kid,” The guy asked gruffly, nodding behind the other man, “And I won’t hurt you either kid.” But the man holding the gun merely giggled, much to Chanyeol’s shock.
“I can’t do that…” The giggling man teased, and honestly, Chanyeol wasn’t sure if he’d lost his mind.
“And why is that,” Chanyeol’s assailant demanded, a look passing over his face.
“Because I don’t want to.” The giggling man stopped giggling, but he still had an amusing edge to his voice.
“Fuck this,” The assailant tried to push past the other man, and Chanyeol felt himself scuttle back slightly but that grip of fear didn’t last long as the smaller man pushed the assailant back with a hard shove.
“Now now,” The younger man toyed, “Let’s not get violent...” He sang softly like a mad man.
“Step aside, kid.” The assailant, who truthfully Chanyeol didn’t know the name of demanded again, raising his own gun at the younger man, “Or I’ll shoot you instead.”
“No, you won’t,” The man said melodically again, and Chanyeol caught a glance of his face as he flicked the barrel of the gun that was pointing at him away like it was a fly much to Chanyeol’s horror.
“And why is that.” The other man demanded, whoever was defending Chanyeol was clearly getting on his last nerves, but the younger man merely giggled again.
“Do you see that car over there,” The young man pointed to something that was out of Chanyeol’s eye line, and he watched as the two men looked in the same direction.
“Not saying I wouldn’t shoot you,” The young guy laughed softly, “But if you even lay a hand on me, there are going to be two very angry men ready to beat the shit out of you in that very car.” He giggled again.
“Who the fuck are you?” The other man demanded, trying to distance himself away from the other guy, but the other man guy merely leaned in closer with a smirk whispering to him.
“Who the fuck is this kid…” Chanyeol thought to himself, glancing between the two of them. Chanyeol kept watching in some twisted horror as the other man backed off with a blanched expression.
The man backed away slowly before bolting out of the ally, the younger guys shoulders slumping in a sigh before he turned around fully to look at Chanyeol, a small smile gracing his mouth as he held out his hand to help him up.
“You’re welcome,” He grinned slightly, still holding his hand out to Chanyeol who looked between the hand and his face in slight horror.
“Who…” Chanyeol stuttered slightly, but he was soon cut off as the other guy laughed.
“I should probably introduce myself, I’m Byun Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he’d ever have kids, but if the man had to name anything as his child then he’d say that Electric Kiss was as close as it was ever gonna get – albeit it was a booze-filled, drug flourishing child, but his none the less. It was something Sehun had given him as a side project to keep the man busy during the slower times that they faced every so often, not every day was shooting and plotting, it was a small sense of normality in Baekhyun’s otherwise weird schedule, it was something he could call his own. With tensions running high between the members of Exodus at the moment, he had expected tonight to be somewhere he could “let loose” for a while but his glass ceiling was shattered as he watched with annoyed eyes as his loving boss made his way into the establishment – security scattering around him like he was the president of some foreign country, not just a gang leader entering a club.
“Smile now,” Kyungsoo scoffed softly from his place in front of Baekhyun’s desk while the latter looked out the tinted glass to the empty dance floor where his boss was currently making his way through, “You’re normally happy go lucky,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes at that.
“Happy go lucky,” He repeated annoyed, “When did you become such a nice person,” He scoffed back.
“When Junmyeon decided to promote me,” Kyungsoo teased with a small smirk gracing his lips.
“Promote,” Baekhyun turned around with an eye roll, “Junmyeon also told Sehun to stay inside the compound but the giant idiot is here, so let us not call Jun’s word as bible now.”
“Did you think for one minute he’d listen to him?” Kyungsoo asked honestly, the scowl on Baekhyun’s deepening slightly as he plonked himself down at his desk with a grunt, “Sehun is in charge after all…” Kyungsoo ended with a small drawl.
“I’d hope he might have,” For the first time, Baekhyun looked put out, “Even I listen to Junmyeon.” The man exclaimed softly but Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow at him.
“Okay, sometimes I listen to him,” Baekhyun corrected, “But I don’t currently have a bounty on my head, do I?” His eyes were blazing with concern for his younger boss.
“Idiot,” Baekhyun scoffed, picking up a random ornament on his desk to play with, “He’s going to get himself shot,” Kyungsoo hummed.
“Aren’t you like his bodyguard or something,” Kyungsoo asked, but there was a teasing edge to it – an enjoyment that he was undermining his job.
“He wishes,” Baekhyun huffed, “Glorified babysitter for a while but not his bodyguard, I’m his brother.” A small fondness glinting in his eyes.
“Brother…” Kyungsoo thought about it, “Isn’t that just a fancy term that says you have to take a bullet for him?” Baekhyun rolled his eyes to his company with an unamused look.
“I’d take a bullet for him, yes,” Baekhyun began with a pointed look, “But typically bosses aren’t supposed to be out in the field, and certainly not out in the field when some mystery person is out to get them,”
“Even I know he doesn’t like the compound,” Kyungsoo reminded Baekhyun, who huffed.
“None of us like it,” Baekhyun drawled, “Fuck, I’ve been there nearly every day of my life since I was a kid, I hate the place as much as the next person”
“Explains a lot,” Kyungsoo laughed softly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows.
“You grew up around Sehun didn’t you?” Kyungsoo asked honestly, he was never one to ask too many questions – especially questions about the past but he’d been in the gang so long that it didn’t matter anymore.
“Well, yes…” Baekhyun nodded, “My father was Sehun’s fathers second in command…” He looked confused about where this was going.
“Have you ever thought that he gets it from you?” Kyungsoo smiled slightly, drawing the commonalities between the pair – recklessness being a big factor.
“He wishes,” Baekhyun laughed softly, “That’s all his own, even I was still doing as I was told back then.”
“Hard to believe” Kyungsoo tsk’ed softly.
“I was a good kid,” Baekhyun mumbled softly looking off into the distance, “Shame really, this is how I turned out.”
Kyungsoo frowned slightly, even if he didn’t always toy around with the man like he often wanted him too, Kyungsoo could see that Baekhyun’s actions always head somewhat good intentions – it was family first, and he’d seen first-hand the lengths he’d gone to for someone before.
“You’re a good man,” Kyungsoo assured him, but it didn’t sit right with Baekhyun.
“A bad man that does a good deed isn’t a good man,” Baekhyun sighed softly, “He’s still rotten at the end of the day, it just shows he can think of something else besides himself for once.”
“Do you really believe that?” Kyungsoo asked with a raised brow.
“I don’t exactly have a clean record,” Baekhyun tutted softly, “Sometimes if I look hard enough, I think my hands might be permanently stained with someone else’s demise.” He frowned softly staring at his hands.
“I know a few people that might beg to differ,” Kyungsoo said almost softly to the older man, much like how he’d seen his companion speak to their boss sometimes, “He’s not here right now, but I know Chanyeol thinks the world of you,” Baekhyun chuckled softly at that.
“Right place, right time,” Baekhyun said honestly, “Not that I’m not glad, but that’s not redemption.” He kicked his legs up on the desk.
“Who said you need redemption?” Kyungsoo asked honestly, “You’re not exactly the average person to begin with,”
“The second heir to the Byun estate,” Baekhyun mimicked his father’s voice with a sarcastic edge to it, “Not like that shit matters now,” Kyungsoo looked slightly interested in that.
“How so?” Kyungsoo was always a questioner and Baekhyun chuckled at that.
“The second son gets nothing in our world,” Baekhyun laughed slightly but there was no humour behind it, “I’ll serve Exodus till my untimely death with no land, barely any family and no life” He sounded a bit put off by that.
“No marriage on the cards?” Kyungsoo asked, he knew it was common for the sons to get married off to affluent daughters.
“I’m sure If my father cared enough, I’d be married by now,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “But I don’t think he remembers I exist at this current moment,”
“Does anyone in this damn gang have a nice home life?” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes slightly and Baekhyun chuckled at that.
“Ask Yixing, I’m sure he’ll regale you with tales of his adoring family,” A new voice entered the conversation and the two men jumped too caught up in talking to each other. “Or maybe Jongdae, that man is always smiling for a reason.”
“Oh, so the prodigal son has decided to make his grand appearance,” Baekhyun raised his eyebrow looking at Sehun who had decided to make himself known to the two men, “Weren’t you told to stay home?” Baekhyun tutted.
“I’m here for business,” Sehun rolled his eyes while leaning against the door to Baekhyun’s office, “And I can handle myself,” He reminded them.
“Business in my club?” Baekhyun raised a brow, “Do I get to know about it?” Sehun smirked softly at that.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Sehun teased, a lot more jovial in demeanour than when the two men had last seen their boss.
“I don’t fancy having my ass handed to me by Jun because I let you do something stupid,” Baekhyun’s eyebrow twitched slightly as the younger man merely hummed in a soft laugh.
“Just tell me where the bartender is, Baekhyun.”
Despite being a 25-year-old man, Sehun still found himself bossed around from time to time from his older brothers – the irony of it laying within the fact that he was at the end of the day still their boss, and by obligation, they were supposed to do what he says but regardless, he says nicely and listened to Junmyeon rant to him again.
“Please Sehun,” Junmyeon had a sternness in his eyes that Sehun knew he got from his father, “For the time being, just say out of the light for a while – we can handle the heavy lifting.” Sehun hummed at that, say at his desk gazing at the man who was flanked with their tallest member.
“And what if I don’t want to?” He argued slightly, his hands resting on his stomach as he lounged in his chair, “Last time I left you all to do your work it didn’t exactly go to plan” He tweaked his brow at them.
“Sehun,” Junmyeon warned, Chanyeol looking almost uncomfortable beside him.
“Junmyeon,” Sehun pointedly said back, “I am not a child.”
“Then stop acting like one,” Junmyeon argued, Chanyeol flinching slightly at the heat in his boss’ eyes.
Sehun stared darkly at his second in command for a second before collecting himself, he detested being labelled a child, but he wasn’t about to cause a scene in the compound – he was better than that and doing so would only solidify Junmyeon’s statements.
“Fine,” Sehun grumbled after a beat of silence, “I’ll stay here if you wish me too,” He rolled his eyes slightly, Junmyeon deflated slightly at that – curious to how he gave in so quickly.
“You will…?” Jun quizzed looking at him sceptically.
“Yes.” Sehun affirmed, “I’ll stay out the light for a while if you’re so worried.” He pushed his tongue into his cheek in thought, clearly still not happy.
“Thank you,” Jun nodded glancing back at Chanyeol for a second, “I’m taking Minseok to scope out some of our casinos, you and Chanyeol try to get more out of our guest.” Junmyeon sighed slightly.
It wasn’t uncommon for the second in commands to overstep their places, Sehun’s had seen his fathers’ SIC do it all the time – but that still didn’t mean it didn’t grind his gears a bit. At times it felt like he was just the face for the gang, an affluent name that took “control” while the others schemed behind the curtains.
“Who am I in this game instead of the king?” Sehun thought wistfully while Junmyeon ran Chanyeol, who for the last few hours had been choosing to remain silent in the house, past everything he had to do.
The last few day’s had been tolling on everyone so it seemed, most of his men being sent off every direction in the city to just and find out how someone could infiltrate their shipments, while he stayed behind and handled the numerous phone calls from his head underlings about why his men were sniffing around their territory – Sehun hated the phone calls more than anything, but he had to but on a tone and brave it while he explained that his men were doing intake since he’d felt like things were “getting sloppy” within his ranks. No one really dared question him too much, he was their leader at the end of the day and if someone blinked wrong at him, they’d be taken out, but that still didn’t mean he enjoyed listening to them grumble.
“You get that, Sehun?” Junmyeon interrupted his thoughts while the younger man merely hummed and looked at him.
“Yes,” He grated out, waving his hand at his counterpart to just leave already, “Loud and clear, stay here, do this and most importantly keep out of trouble.” He rolled his eyes.
“Sehun…” Junmyeon warned slightly, but Sehun paid it no mind.
“I’m sure Chanyeol will make a fantastic babysitter, Jun” Sehun huffed, fixing his suit slightly in a fidget, “Go before I change my mind and elect to completely flout your warnings.”
Junmyeon merely gazed at the two with a pointed look before nodding slightly, making haste to get out the room with his phone already glued on his hand – the fluttering of his conversation bouncing around the empty hallway as he departed.
There was an air of silence before Sehun stood up from his desk, making sure his suit jacket was buttoned slightly and his phone was pocketed before he spoke.
“Tell someone to get my car ready, Chanyeol,” Sehun asked while he rounded his desk, much to the other man’s shock.
“But didn’t Junmyeon just say…” Chanyeol began but was promptly cut off by Sehun.
“Don’t go out in the light, yes I’m aware,” Sehun smirked softly before gesturing to his window – it was well past daylight and the moon had taken her role in the sky for the night, “But that doesn’t look like going out in the light to me.” He remarked as Chanyeol’s face dropped slightly.
“I won’t be able to stop you, will I?” Chanyeol asked honestly, crossing his arms over his chest
“Nope.” Sehun popped his lips slightly, “I’ve got business to attend to.” Chanyeol’s brow quirked.
“Business?” Chanyeol asked, “What are you up to now?”
“I’ve got a bartender to talk to,” A look passed over Chanyeol’s face at that.
“Why?” Yeol was getting defensive again, but Sehun merely chuckled.
“You’ll find out eventually,” Sehun hummed touching the older man’s shoulder as he walked past him, “Do me a favour, integrate our guest with Jongdae, if he’s still not talking after a while kill him” A dark look past over Sehun’s face.
“We have no use for him if he won’t talk,” Sehun said to his companion, “Understood?”
“Understood,” Chanyeol mumbled back, nodding slightly.
Sehun merely nodded back at him while patting Chanyeol’s shoulder as he finally walked past him to the door of his office, there was a brief pause at Sehun’s door while he thought for a second.
“I say this from a place of care, Chanyeol,” Sehun spoke honestly while looking over his shoulder, “Whatever’s in your head about this girl, let it go.”
“There’s nothing in my head,” Chanyeol grumbled back, “I just think your plan is stupid, what do you gain from this?” But Sehun merely chuckled.
“It’s not often I see your heart bleed,” Sehun hummed, “I’m trying to keep my men in check, you included”
“I am in check,” Chanyeol frowned.
“Really? You could have fooled me,” Sehun tutted softly, “I’ve watched you beat a man within an inch of his life and then some, but you’re choosing now to grow morals about who we involve?” Chanyeol’s eyes darkened slightly at the jab.
“I just think…” Chanyeol started but Sehun cut him off quickly.
“No Yeol,” Sehun began with a slight frown, “You’re not thinking, not at the moment – I don’t know what that girl triggered in you, but you need to sort it out, otherwise you’re going to get yourself killed or maybe even her.”
“I won’t.” Chanyeol tried to reason with his boss.
“Civilian relationships in any form don’t work.” Sehun reminded him, “Ask some of your brothers, your enemies don’t care who they are to you, as long as they’re something”
“Sehun...” Chanyeol started but again he was cut off.
“I did you a favour by making sure your family was protected the first time around, I can’t extend my kindness any further.”
“Sehun…”
It felt like a hit to your soul when you met eyes with the man situated at the bar, your physical body stagnant in the present while your soul decided to bolt out of there, leaving your flesh with a cold tingle to it. He looked a bit more casual than the last time you’d seen him, an all-black suit tailored perfectly to his lissom body; sans the tie and shirt unbuttoned three from the top, he looked like a walking piece of opulence, especially with his hair messily pushed back – a far cry from the hardened exterior of a man you’d seen before.
There was a cocktail of not only fear but anger swirling in your vein’s as you keep your gaze locked with the very man that caused it, his eyes dark and strong as the whiskey he was asking you for and settling straight onto your own, they were reading you; that much you could tell, the subtle twitch of them told you he was reading your face.
“I see you’re still alive,” He spoke, his tone deep and smooth as you remembered.
“No thanks to you,” You gritted slightly, hands wringing the cloth you were carrying like it was his neck, “What the fuck was that,” You leaned closer to him, his eyes dancing with a verge resemblance of shock at your tone before he straightened himself out.
“Be thankful you’re alive,” He drawled to you, leaning in himself as a challenge to your currently strong demeanour, “Some people aren’t always that lucky.” You could feel his breath hitting your cheeks, he smelled vaguely of mint and something stronger.
“I don’t think I should be thankful for almost suffocating in a plastic bag,” You hissed, eyes flickering to a group of people that were seated in a booth not too far from the bar.
“And what are you going to do about it,” He challenged you, his brow raised, his shoulders were squared but he wasn’t trying to threaten you, but you felt yourself stutter anyway.
“I…” You sentence dropped off, what were you going to do about it? It’s not like you could hit him like Chanyeol, the security guard in the corner was glaring at you enough to know that if you raised your hand, you’d lose it, not if Sehun himself didn’t get you first.
“Can I have my drink now?” His brow plucked up again, “Or will I have to tell Baekhyun to fire you on your first day?” You shook your head at him, spinning around to grab the fucking bottle of booze he wanted and a glass.
You weren’t light as you slammed the crystal onto the wooden bar counter, Sehun’s eyes following you as you poured it straight into the glass not bothering to glance at him. Sehun was intrigued, to say the least, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as you placed the bottle back onto the counter with a huff.
“That’ll be –.” You were cut off by Sehun.
“Free,” He smirked slightly, “Owner perks”
“Of course, he was the owner” You bit down on your tongue as your inner self cursed him out.
“Of course, Sir.” You gravelled out, “Will that be all?” Your eye twitched slightly while he hummed, taking a sip of his drink, glancing between the amber liquid and you.
“Leave the bottle,” He requested with a look, your head nodding before you sighed – spotting some patrons making their way to the bar.
You didn’t spare him a second glance, as you went back to work; the feeling of his eyes following you sent a small chill down your spine but you tried to shake it off, a small smile gracing your lips as you tended to other paying customers. It was strange, having him right there when he’d told of so many threats to your life every time you saw him, it was even stranger than you were now working in a club that was affiliated to him – a small calling that Chanyeol could have warned you echoing on your head, but why exactly were you here? Sehun made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you so why hire you at a club he owned.
There was a thick emotion coating your throat as you tried to focus on serving customers, all while the man that shook you to your core sat on the other end of the bar – checking his watch every so often that it had you on edge; Baekhyun had yet to see you again after you stole his drink for him, leaving you here with a bunch of rich twenty-somethings and a syndicate boss. You were leaning against the back of the bar, the music thumping slightly in your brain as you watched the intoxicated customers dance and laugh with their friends – something you haven’t done in a while, you noted to yourself.
The night had only really just begun and you were already ready to go home, your body still emotionally tired beyond belief and your wits at their end at the idiocy that was this bar; you were hired here for a reason and that was fraying your nerves, you didn’t believe for one second that you were hired here out of kindness, the men you had seen behind this all didn’t look like someone that extended their kindness beyond their gang.
“Let’s just say, Junmyeon likes to keep all his cards together,” Chanyeol’s lips pursed together in a look you couldn’t place, it was vague, but you nodded anyway.
Chanyeol.
You remembered his face as he handed you the job description letter, he looked put off giving you it, but you couldn’t argue and seemingly neither could he.
“Think any harder and you’re going to hurt yourself,” The voice from the corner drawled lazily again, glass raised to his mouth and an amused look in his eye while your own eyes flicked to him.
“Shut up,” You scoffed, crossing your arms tighter over your chest in a glare, “Don’t you have lives to be ruining?” Sehun hummed at that.
“Is that what you think I do?” His eyes danced with mirth.
“Monsters prey in the dark, but here you are” You rolled your eyes, “Which means that you’re up to something.” Sehun’s eyes narrowed slightly at your wording, his lips pursing together slightly.
“I’m here on business if you must know.” Sehun scoffed, “Not that it matters to you, bartender.” His jaw was set slightly, and you flinched at the fact you’d put him in a mood.
“Business,” You sneered slightly, “Gonna shoot up this place too?” Sehun rolled his eyes.
“I think you’d know if I was, darling,” He jeered back at you, “I might not be as nice to tell you to get under the bar next time.”
“There’s going to be a next time?” You bantered back to him, disregarding the fact your heart was hammering in your chest at the dark look in his eyes.
Setting your jaw, you walked back over to him with a pointed look; the cloth that was in your hand was tossed on the counter as you leaned.
“Tell me,” You asked honestly, “Why am I here?” His eyes met your own, no emotion being given away behind them.
“Because you work here,” He deadpanned like it was the simplest thing in the world, and that made your jaw tick.
“Chanyeol told me that Junmyeon likes to keep all his cards together,” You gritted slightly, “What does that mean.” Sehun mouth ticked slightly in a sneer.
“Why don’t you ask your buddy?” His eyebrows were raised.
“I’m asking you.” You swallowed thickly, “Now answer me.”
“And what makes you think that you’re in a position to tell me what to do?” Sehun tested you.
“Sehun,” You said his actual name to him for the first time, a tone of stress coating the words like honey, “Please.” Your eyes softened slightly.
Sehun looked conflicted for a second, his eyes skittering around your face trying to look for anything that told him you had other intentions; there was a beat of silence between the two of you before he sighed annoyed. You watched him toss his drink back before he reached into his inner suit pocket to retrieve his phone, a look passing his face as he did; it was just as quickly pocketed as it was taken out while his eyes flicked to you, an unresolved emotion waving in them.
“Stick around after the bar closes,” He grumbled out, standing up from his stool, “I’ll answer your questions then.”
“But…” You began, your mouth slightly open in protest when he cut you off.
“No buts.” He snapped lightly, “I’ll answer your questions then or not at all.” His eyes were angry, but you could tell it wasn’t at you.
“Fine…” You deflated slightly, shoulder slumping slightly as you watched him turn on his heel.
Curiously, you looked at his back as he retreated from the bar without a second glance at you, looking as he passed his security guard to walk over to one of the private rooms on the VIP area that you had been told was used for business meetings, he stopped slightly before the door, look off to the side and our brows furrowed slightly at the person that walked up to him.
“It’s the girl from the house…” You mumbled to yourself slightly, watching as she strutted up to the man; her head very much held high.
She looked gorgeous, made up in a dress that seemed to almost glitter in the light; she practically glowed under the strobe lights of the VIP room, she was a beautiful woman – and when you had seen her last you could tell she suited Sehun a lot, the two of them had an aura about them that matched. You didn’t mean to stop and stare at them, but as the girl entered the room before Sehun you caught the latter turning around to give you a pointed look; a sheen of embarrassment coating your cheeks at his stare.
“So this was his business huh…”
It wasn’t long before Irene was making her way up to the VIP room, a soft smile gracing her face at the sight of you working like you belonged at Electric Kiss; she had been sceptical at first since there was already a tightknit of people that worked here, not just anyone was hired, but when Baekhyun approached her and told her, she knew she’d try to be as welcoming as possible. But the devil in her ear currently was stopping her from greeting you like how was wanted too.
“Is Sehun anywhere around?” She rolled her eyes as she heard Baekhyun through her earpiece, something she used in case of emergency and she needed to get security quickly.
“We have security cameras, Baek,” She grumbled slightly, making sure no one in VIP heard her talking to herself, “Check those, I’m busy.” She smiled at a customer who walked past her.
“But you’re my informant on the ground,” Baekhyun teased softly, treating it like he did when he was probably on missions.
“Baekhyun,” She warned with a look, even though he couldn’t see her.
“I would be he’s not down the stairs,” Irene could hear the roll of his eyes, “There’s a reason he hangs around up there.”
“It was your choice not to put camera’s up here,” She sniped slightly, “But for your information, his guard is still up here.” She confirmed to him, watching the man she only knew as Johnny walking around.
“And the He in question?” Baekhyun pressed a bit, much to her annoyance.
“I don’t know, probably one of the private rooms.” She tutted, gazing around the room looking for the infamous boss – Irene had only met him a few times through Baekhyun, but he’d never really said much to her. “Have one of your men check it.”
“He’s been a foul mood the last few days, lovely,” Baekhyun huffed, “I don’t fancy facing any wrath.”
“Chicken.” She teased with a smirk.
“Am not.” He snapped, but there was a playful edge to it.
Irene hummed softly, her eyes flickering around the room at everyone that filled the VIP section; she could spot the security guards a mile away, they stuck out like a sore thumb but none of the socialites that gathered up here bothered, if anything they ate it up when anyone from Exodus visited, they were Royalty here after all. Irene’s eyes did widen slightly as she caught sight of the very man, she was looking for storming out of a private room; a glance at a familiar woman sitting at the table before the door slammed shut. Sehun looked mad, and she could see him storming down the staircase that leads to Baekhyun’s office.
“Uh Baekhyun,” Irene chirped quickly, “Problem.”
“What?” Baekhyun quickly responded, “What is it.”
“Found Sehun, and he’s very mad.” She shuffled quickly of the way of one of the security guards who was rushing past her. “And currently on his way to you.”
She could hear the slam of a door from the audio of the earpiece, Baekhyun yelping slightly in freight, herself jumping at the sound of it pathetically. She tried to listen in for a second but before she could hear anything the call cut – one last word passing from Baekhyun before it dropped.
“Oh shit.”
Truthfully, your first at Electric Kiss had been an eventful one, and eventful couldn’t even fully sum it up. Working at the bar of the VIP section truly showed you a life that’d you’d never know, rich kids were willing to throw their money at anyone that served them drinks and you heard all kinds of gossip through the night that you honestly had no business in knowing; Joohyun was right when she said you get tipped well up here, and it wasn’t just in case. You had seen your manager briefly before you took a small break earlier, she looked a bit frazzled but she kept her composure as she questioned you on how your first night was going here, she’d been nothing but kind to you since you started, so you felt a sense of connection when you did manage to talk to her again.
Aside from that, you never saw anyone again for the remainder of the shift – Sehun never graced your presence again and Baekhyun was MIA, it was truly just you and the customers up here, and it was strangely nice. However, what Sehun had said to you was still echoing in your mind as you slowly shuffled to get your things from the breakroom.
“Stick around after the bar closes,” He grumbled out, standing up from his stool, “I’ll answer your questions then.”
It was 3:30am now and the bar was closing early for the night since it was the middle of the week; Irene had been gracious enough to let you go straight home since you’d turned up early for training while herself, Joy, and a girl you’d not met yet cashed out for the night. They gave you soft smiles as you left but your eyes were scanned around the bar.
“He never said where to meet him…” You thought to yourself, “Or maybe it was just a ploy to get you to shut up.” That was probably more likely.
The annoyance was radiating off you slightly when you decided to leave the warmth of the bar and step into the biting cold of the street; the sounds of customers that still littered the place echoing into the frosty air, there wasn’t anyone around, something you noted as you stood on the sideway next to the club – taking in the scene of it all.
Electric Kiss was on a very nice side of town, surrounded by affluent shops and restaurants for the rich, and apartment buildings for the even richer; it wasn’t your usual side of town, the elevators probably worked in the buildings here. It was always a fantasy to think about what it would be like to own a home here, to see the city in its full glory every day and not have to worry about making rent.
“Must be nice…” You commented softly into the air, looking up at one of the bigger apartment complex buildings; the skyscraper-sized tower glittering with thousands of little lights in the early morning.
Winter had its grasp around everything you looked at, the faint sight of steam covering windows while the pavement froze over with a shimmering frost; it was truly beautiful but the beauty was interrupted by the sound of a car engine so much so you rolled your eyes. Thought you thought of it as just a passing car you jumped back slightly from the edge of the sidewalk when a sleek black car pulled up in front of you, the passenger window rolling down so you could peak in. Leaning down slightly, you almost choked at who was driving the car.
“Get in,” Sehun grumbled out, one hand on the wheel while the other used a finger to prop his head up while he leaned on his door, he looked a bit annoyed.
“Why?” You stuttered slightly, confused at what was going on, but he only rolled his eyes before he looked at you.
“You wanted to talk, so we talk,” He sassed you slightly, “I said get in.” He nodded to the door.
You were gaping at him slightly, so much so that you forgot to answer him straight away – his handsome features pulling a face before he shook his head.
“I don’t have time for this shit,” He grumbled, reaching over the dash to creep the window back up – he stopped slightly when you jumped, placing your hand on the closing window to stop it.
“Wait.” You yelped softly, “Just wait.” You huffed before looking around at the empty street, shaking your head you grasped the door handle to the car, pulling it open with a bit of effort before you sat down in Sehun’s passenger seat.
His car was warm and smelled vaguely like cigarettes, not that you minded, but the focus was the man who was driving; the fact that his eyebrows were pulled together in a frown as he looked again.
“Where are you taking me?” You asked softly, keeping your eyes on him; his own flicking to you slightly before he put the car in drive.
“Home.” He grumbled slightly like it was paining him, “Put your seat belt on.” You rolled your eyes at that.
“You’re one to talk,” You sniped slightly, doing what you were told anyway, “Haven’t you been drinking?” He rolled his eyes.
“One drink,” He scoffed, “I’m a busy man, I can’t exactly afford to drink on the job.” You shook your head at him, watching at the night started to pass by you from his tinted window.
“You had questions,” He sighed, “Ask them.” Your eyes flickered back to him slightly while he drove; like everything he did, it was attractive.
“What did Junmyeon mean…” You sighed slightly, settling into the leather of his car seat; it was all black interior, but it didn’t feel cold because of it.
“About the cards?” Sehun hummed while you nodded.
“It would seem, miss bartender…” He began with a sigh as he stopped at a stoplight, “That we have use for you yet.” You frown at that.
“What?” You hesitated slightly, “What do you mean by that?” His face pinched slightly as he turned to you, tiredness settling in his eyes.
“For once, you know a lot more than we do,” He started, glancing at you before his eyes settled back on the road and the driving started again, “That man that was showing up at Oasis, we need to find him and currently you’re the only one in existence right now that knows what he looks like.” Sehun didn’t look proud to admit that.
“Me?” You frowned, “Surely someone else does?” Sehun hummed.
“You’d think,” He started, “The only person that might, won’t tell me, and we can’t find anything on him anywhere.”
“Oasis wasn’t the only joint of mine’s he was… looking into,” Sehun frown, hand gripping the wheel a bit tighter, you listened to eagerly as he spoke, “A few days ago, a few weapons from my stock went missing – the same man that was stealing stock at Oasis was behind it.” You frowned softly as he continued.
“He’s been redistributing the stolen and tampered drug stock at clubs around the city; his latest was Teardrop,” His eyes flicked to yours.
“I’ve been there once or twice, yeah…” You said softly.
“No security cameras could catch him and no one in the crowd could point him out,” Sehun shook his head, annoyed.
“But how does this involve me,” You frowned.
“If he’s bold enough to walk into my establishment once, he’ll do it again.” Sehun spoke simply, “We think he’s going to turn up at Electric Kiss, he’s been in clubs in the surrounding areas.”
“And you need me to spot him out?” You asked, clocking your head to the side, “How do you know he won’t just hide from me? After all, he knows what I look like”
“He seems like he loves a thrill,” Sehun glowered slightly, reaching into his glove compartment to retrieve a small box; cigarettes.
You watched in some weird fascination as his free hand managed to get on out of the box and lifted it to his lips, before he quickly grabbed the lighter that was sitting in his pocket and lit it, the waft of expensive cigarettes filling the car before his window was left slightly ajar, so it could filter out. His tongue running over his teeth as he took a draw had you turning away slightly, a blooming of red covering your cheeks at the simple movement.
“Why didn’t you just ask me to help you,” You asked softly.
“Would you have?” He quizzed slightly, ashing his cigarette out the window.
“Maybe…” You stuttered softly as he chuckled.
“It was easier to trick you than to ask you,” He said simply with a slight shrug.
“What about back at the warehouse…” You swallowed thickly, “You didn’t kill me, why?”
“Because I didn’t have to.” He sighed, “Believe it or not, I don’t like shedding unnecessary blood, plus I had my own plan that I had to see come to fruition.”
“I timed everything for a reason,” He continued, “I knew as soon as I put the bag on your head, I only had a few minutes before the police showed up – I knew you weren’t going to die.”
“But the police…” You started before he cut you off.
“To some degree were in on it,” Sehun hummed, “Some of the higher-ups were sniffing around your case, it got worse when our name got tagged to it, I needed you gone quickly and your boss in my possession before someone started sniffing around my business.” He told you honestly.
“I couldn’t just let you go,” He told you, “We all knew the police would find that far too suspicious and you’d be tied to all this, it was easier to stage something”
“But during the interrogation, the officer was saying all this stuff.” You shook your head while he smirked softly, eyes glancing at you.
“I knew you’d crack under pressure, that’s why I had the commissioner interrogate you and lead the thing along,” He chuckled, “It was also a test.”
“A test of what…” You mumbled.
“A test to see if you’d heeded my warning,” He glanced at you again, capturing your eyes with his own, “I wasn’t kidding about the bullet between your eyes.” He smirked darkly.
“I hate you…” You mumbled softly looking out the window, “Like a lot.”
“I’m not too keen on you either, sweetheart,” He hummed, looking at the road with nothing but boredom.
“So, I keep an eye out for your mystery guy, then what?” You grumbled, biting your lip softly as you watched him flick his finished cigarette out the window. “I get fired?”
“If we find him then whatever you want,” He shrugged, “Work at Electric Kiss or leave, I don’t really care, just as long as you keep your mouth shut.” He tapped softly on the leather of his steering wheel.
“Right,” You rolled your eyes, “Charmer aren’t you.” He smirked softly at that.
“You mean you don’t love our talks,” He quizzed with humour behind it, “Or are you upset that I’m not Chanyeol right now?”
“You’ve threatened me every time I’ve talked to you so no, I don’t like our talks,” You huffed, “And I’m not happy with Chanyeol either, he lied to me as well.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll survive,” He mumbled as he pulled into the street that held your apartment block, not commenting further on it.
“I’m sure I will…” You muttered back.
The car dropped into silence as he pulled into the parking lot that sat outside the back of your building, his fancy car probably looking entirely out of place in the shithole that you lived in – for some reason you almost felt embarrassed as he gazed up at your building.
“Not all of us can live in luxury,” You said quickly before he could get a snippy remark in, but you were left a bit confused when he frowned softly.
“You work for where you live, that’s respectable enough,” He muttered, “And luxury isn’t worth what you think it is.” He had a faraway look in his eyes that you couldn’t place.
“I don’t know, you live a pretty comfortable life,” You commented slightly, and it was true – the man probably had more money than you’d ever own or work for.
“Something like that,” He muttered, deciding not to comment any further on your claim.
The brief silence you both went into was enough to make you want to crawl out your skin, but you held your composure as you sighed softly.
“Thank you, Sehun…” You said lowly, you hated feeling like you owed someone something and the idea of thanking him after everything he’d done to you left a bad taste in your mouth, but you did it anyway, “For answering my questions and driving me home.”
“Think of it as payment,” He remarked slightly while turning to you, “For almost suffocating you to death,” You chuckled at that.
“It’s going to take more than that to make up for it,” You smiled slightly, locking eyes with him.
He was doing the thing again, where he was trying to work you out from merely just looking at you; his almost black eyes flicking around your face to try and find out your intentions, it was almost flattering but it was also uncomfortable. While you enjoyed looking at his face, you’d rather someone just ask you a question than try to sus you out but knowing what you knew about this man; that wasn’t going to happen.
“I should go…” You spoke softly, “Its late.” Whatever he was into, he snapped out of it while he turned around humming in agreement with you.
“You should,” He nodded keeping his eyes forward.
You looked at him softly, taking in his ridged side profile before you smiled a bit, nodding slightly while you pushed his car door open.
“Goodnight Sehun…” You spoke softly, glancing back into the car as you stood up, you didn’t bother to listen to his reply but you caught it anyway as you slammed the door shut, a small smile lifting your face.
“Goodnight…”
It felt as though you had been punctured but something as you watched his car drive away from you, the feeling of your blood rushing out your veins and leaving your body with that cold feeling of hollowness all while your eyes glanced at the vehicles retreating from. It was an indescribable feeling flooding you every time you found yourself near him, but it was a feeling that all though you’d never admit; you lusted to feel again.
“I wish I could understand you…” You whispered softly, small tuffs of white curling in the space surrounding your mouth; almost like a soul leaving the body, the words falling onto no one but mother nature.
The air was biting as you stood in the small carpark that laid itself out in front of your apartment but despite the chill, you found yourself not whiling to move; you had a lot to take in, and even more to process. It had been a very long night, the timepiece on your wrist reminding you that it was in fact very early morning. It was hours to be alone, but for some reason, a chill crawled its way up your spine that wasn’t an effect of the cold; the eerie feeling of someone else being in the barren car park with you.
Glancing back at the building behind you that held your home, you blinked slowly at the idea of just running into it but foolishly your steps carried you carefully into the middle of the empty lot; borrowed heels crunching on the gravel cracking into the night as you spun slowly to observe what you could.
“Hello?” You spoke softly, looking around at any hideaway spot you could; the balconies that held all the doors and the small allies that cut into different ways to get out the building, “Is anyone there?” Sheer stupidity seemed to be a trademark for you at this point, but after the last few days; if something was going to get you, you’d rather it showed itself.
You were met with silence, the deafening silence that was known as 4:00am and nothing else; barely any light or movement, it seemed like it was just you and your thoughts. But it wouldn’t be out of style for you to jump when you felt the vibration of your phone in your pocket, the new device spurring to life in an angry notification that said you were getting a call. You didn’t even bother to check the caller id before you clicked accept but after what you were met with, you wish you had.
“Where the hell are you!?” Jeonghan snapped on the other end, as your eyes widen.
“Woah…” You began slightly shocked at his tone, “What do you mean?”
“I’m here,” He grumbled, “At Electric Kiss, I said I’d pick you up?” You blanched slightly.
“Jeonghan, I’m so sorry…” You began softly, “I’m already home,” Your eyes scattered around while you made a gentle walk back to your apartment, the familiar feeling of being watched not leaving you.
“How the hell did you get home?” He sounded shocked, and you sheepishly responded.
“A uh… Friend from work drove me,” You lied to him, a small gnaw of guilt eating at you, “I’m sorry I forgot to tell you.” You pouted softly down the phone in the hopes you’d pick up on your tone.
The sigh you heard on the other end confirmed that it worked.
“It’s alright…” He grumbled softly, “Sorry for snapping at you,” He said as you shouldered your way into your apartment, a small grunt passing your lips as you did.
“You’ve only just come home after being kidnapped,” He sighed, “I was just making sure you’d get back alright.”
“Hannie…” You said softly, honestly feeling your heart melt, “It’s okay, I’m okay…” You assured him.
“Do you want me to come over?” He asked while you walked up the stairs to your apartment, choosing to forgo the elevator, “I’m sure I can pick up some food.”
“Hannie, don’t worry about it,” You told him with a small smile, “Go home and get some rest, I’m a big girl, I can stay by myself.” He sighed at that.
“Okay,” You could hear the small smile in his voice, “Just message me tomorrow okay?” You laughed slightly at that.
“I will,” You smiled softly, “Get home safe Jeonghan,” He sighed softly.
“You too…” The call cut off after that, you were in a rush to get back home that you booked it up the last 3 flights of stairs to your floor, your chest-puffing slightly as you scurried to your door – after the car ride with Sehun, you had a lot to look into.
After practically falling into your apartment, you kicked your shoes off and made your way into your bedroom – making haste to boot up your laptop while you sorted yourself out for the rest of the morning. Electric Kiss needed you in by 7 tomorrow to work a short shift since they were working out your rota, so you had time to do what you needed, and what you needed right now was not to go to bed.
The blinking of the cursor of the search engine you were using was taunting you as your fingers hovered above the keyboard – the limps twitching to write; you were doing your own research since you couldn’t trust anyone to tell you anything anymore, so you wasted no time in typing what you needed into the search bar.
‘Oh Sehun’, You bit your lip softly as your eyes tried to take in the search page.
You weren’t sure what you expected, he wasn’t a celebrity by any means, but the cloud of news articles that littered the page was a bit overwhelming.
“New heir of Oh Industries takes over after Owners death.”
“Owner of Oh Industries, Oh Dae-suk, passes in a drive-by murder, rumours of son to take over.”
“Oh Sehun named CEO of Oh Industries after legal battle.”
The search was littered with dozens of pages about how Sehun came to be the heir of the company he fronted, something that was clearly a decoy for whatever Exodus was. But you could feel a slight tension in your shoulders as pictures of him from the past popped up; one, in particular, was a photo of a teenage Sehun at his father’s funeral, a far cry from what he looked like now.
Shaggy haired and red-eyed, Sehun looked miserable as they caught a photo of him coming out of a funeral car; flagged by a woman you could only guess was his mother, your heart bled a little as you looked at him, he was so young. Flickering down you read the passage under the photo.
Heir to the Oh family, Oh Sehun, and his mother Oh Jieun pictured stepping out for the first time in public after the death of the CEO Oh Daeksuk – flagged by family and friends the mourning family attend the wake in his honour.
You felt a bit sick reading how the family were being hounded even on such a sad day like a funeral, but you clicked out the article anyway. Another one instantly catching your interest.
Rumour: Oh Sehun tied to gang affiliation after leaked photos show millionaire CEO partying with Criminals?
Rumours broke Saturday night after Oh Sehun was pictured partying with suspected drug cartel member Jung Insik in Rouge lounge earlier in the week. The two seemed friendly on the couch of the VIP section, sharing drinks and laughing with each other, although partiers claim there was nothing suspicious going on between the pair it's suspicious that the CEO of a medical company is hanging around with a suspect in a large drugs case – Oh Industries couldn’t be reached for a statement.
You puffed air out of your mouth as you read it, already in the know to what the young CEO gets into behind closed doors – to you it was clear that Oh Industries seemed to be front for Exodus, they were rarely in the news for anything else with the last article on Sehun being nearly a year ago about his charitable donations to an organisation; it made sense that they’d hide in plain sight, no one could accumulate that much money and not be talked about in some regard.
It was interesting to read, but it told you nothing about the man in question; just that he liked to party, his father died when he was young and that the new suspected him of doing dodgy things but nothing had been given as solid evidence to confirm any rumours. Sehun and his gang were truly an enigma, not even a mention of any of the other members anywhere associated with his name.
It was very early in the morning at this point, but you had no intention of stopping anytime soon; you were going to find out whatever you could about this man, even if it meant a sleepless night.
“Who are you, Oh Sehun…”
The next day, for the first time in forever, felt completely and utterly normal; you woke up at noon after staying up most of the morning doing research and you could leisurely get ready for work after eating a huge breakfast since you declined to eat anything last night. It was nice to not have anyone hounding you or jumping you for once, it was that peaceful that when you did eventually turn up for your shift it flew past in a breeze. Neither women from the night before were working with you today but you were introduced to both Seulgi and Yeri, both of whom welcomed you with open arms when you came through the door. It was nice, and it was a peaceful day at work, or as peaceful as it could be working in a bar, but you enjoyed it none the less; it was a lot less stressful than what Oasis had been.
What you didn’t prepare for was what was waiting for you at home.
You had got home just after midnight after sharing a cab with Seulgi who lived near the complex that you lived in, the street was as always quiet as it normally was at night and honestly, you felt like nothing could go wrong when you go into your apartment, but that hope was shattered after 15 minutes after getting home; 3 weak knocks sounding at your door.
“What the…” You spoke softly to yourself, barely getting a chance to settle into your couch before you were called up again.
Freaked out and slightly scared, you grabbed you keys as a form of defence while you slowly opened the door but they were dropped in an instant when your eyes caught sight of what was on the other side.
Chanyeol, hunched over and holding his side with one hand while the other kept him steady on your door frame, the strong stench of metallic filling your nose as you watched his stained hands slip slightly on the wood of your door.
“Chanyeol,” You yelped rushing to catch the 6 foot something man that started to tip over, “What the hell happened to you?” You stressed trying to tug him instead, your nose curling at the smell of blood.
“Ran into slight difficulties on the job,” He wheezed slightly, tripping up while trying to walk with you; flinching as you slammed the door behind him.
“Difficulties?” You snapped a bit scared; your eyes were wide as you tried to get a look at him.
It was clear that he’d been stabbed in the side, the way he was clutching the area was a dead giveaway; along with the blood that stained his fingers. He looked ashen and pale while he tried to look at you; a cold sweat clouding over his skin, something you could feel as you tried to hold him up.
“Why didn’t you go to the hospital?” You demanded, dragging him to your small bathroom; his body wincing softly at the bright light that emitted from the room.
“Can’t,” He wheezed again as you managed to get him to sit on your counter, your small hands pushing him back completely so the wall could support him, “They ask too many questions.” He winced again at your pushing.
“And you think I can handle this?” You gestured wildly to his wound, in this light you could see he had a few bruises and cuts on his face, “How did this happen?” You demanded softly, raiding one of your bathroom drawers for the first aid kit.
“Baekhyun and I were on a job not too far from here,” Chanyeol could slightly, groaning while he pulled his shirt over his head knowing he had to, “We were following a tip-off that was given to us, but we were jumped.” You jumped slightly at his bare torso but puffed out air to try and compose yourself, the man was possibly dying on your counter.
“Where’s Baekhyun now?” You stressed slightly, wetting a rag to try and clot his wound.
There was a massive gash on the lower right side of his stomach, it looked deep, and he groaned loudly as you pressed down on it, your own mouth shushing in slightly as you did.
“I don’t know,” His face was screwed up in pain, “We got separated.”
“Right,” You swallowed thickly, “Chanyeol, I don’t know what you want me to do about this, I’m not a nurse…” He looked down at you with a sad smile, something flickering in his eyes, he was extremely pale right now, almost deathly.
“Just try and stop the bleeding,” He rasped out, unaware that his hand was clutching the sleeve of your shirt, “Do you have a needle?”
“Yes, but I don’t know how to stitch a wound,” You panicked out, watching his eyes flutter shut softly, “It’s like sewing a shirt…” He sounded a bit far away now like he was having a conversation, but it wasn’t with you.
“Chanyeol,” You shook him softly, “You have to stay awake.” He was slumping slightly, the blood lost evident on his face.
Taking your free hand, you slapped him softly on the cheek trying to coax him into staying up, “Chanyeol, please…”
“Hmm…” He hummed softly trying to move his face away from the slap, “Please just hurry…” He gargled softly while you started to panic.
“Chanyeol.” You snapped slightly, hitting him a bit harder but it wasn’t working.
You gruntled when he suddenly slumped forward, his head banging onto your shoulder with a hard thump as you winced; the feeling of his hand letting go of your sleeving extremely worrying.
“Chanyeol…” You could feel his soft breaths on the exposed skin of your neck before your eyes widened something spilling out his lips that’s clearly wasn’t directed at you.
“Don’t worry Yoora, I’ll be okay…”
#sehun fic#sehun imagine#sehun scenario#exo imagines#oh sehun#sehun au#sehun x reader#exo scenarios#sehun angst#sehun mafia au#sehun fanfic
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Santa Fe Part 3
Jumping Jack
Part 3 of the Santa Fe Series
Summary: You begin to suspect you’re pregnant and when you tell Jack, he has a reaction that surprises you
“Y/N! You’re on in five!!!” A voice called from the hallway.
“Okay, thanks!” You managed to spit out before your stomach spasmed again, hurling your insides out and into the trash bin you were knelt over. Your knuckles were white from gripping the edges so tightly.
A moment later, Medda was in the dressing room with you.
“Oh sweetheart, not again.” She said, concern in her voice.
“I’m fine.” You stated, but your voice was shaky and you were exhausted. You could hardly keep your eyes open.
Medda shook her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. Go home, get some rest.”
“But the show.” You replied weakly.
“Darling that’s why we have understudies.” Medda said, grabbing a tissue and handing it to you. “You know what this means though, don’t you?”
You took the tissue and wiped at your mouth, nodding slowly. Medda had seen all the signs and symptoms the last few weeks and although you knew it too, you had a hard time accepting the truth.
“Even more reason to go home and tell that boy.” She advised, helping you to your feet.
Despite having your own place now, Jack spent most of his time still at the lodge. He said he didn’t want the guys to feel like he was abandoning them. So this was the first place you went to look for him. He was laughing along with the rest of the newsies, the group of them all circled together and talking.
“Hey!” Jack’s eyes met with yours. “Whatta you doin’ ‘ere?” He smiled and reached his arms out to you as he approached.
“Jack, can we talk?” You asked quietly but the others still heard and fell silent.
You glanced around the room as the newsies stared back at you, concerned.
“Yeah. Yeah, let’s go t’ the roof.” He said, putting his arm around your waist and guiding you out of the room.
Despite the cool fresh air of the rooftop, you still couldn’t help but begin to nervously pace.
“You feelin’ any better?” He asked, his hands in his pockets as he watched you. He’d heard you throwing up every morning for the last while but you managed to convince him it was probably a stomach bug.
You shook your head. “Jack between this and… and the other stuff…” You thought about the fatigue, dizziness, headaches, and mood swings among other things but most importantly your lack of period.
“You- you mean…” Jack stammered, his face turning white.
You nodded, unable to bring yourself to say the words.
He spun around, gripping his hat. “How-” he started, “how the hell did this- when did this happen?!”
You shrugged. “I mean I can’t say when exactly, but Jack… all we ever do is pull out… it happens sometimes.”
“It happens sometimes?!” He echoed, now pacing too. “I-” he tried but couldn’t get any words out. “I gotta take a minute t’ think ‘bout this.” He began climbing down the ladder.
Your heart pounded as he left. What if he never came back? No, not possible. You knew he would never do that to you. He just had to process it and that was okay. You stayed up on the roof for a while, eventually laying down. The stars overhead calmed your nerves and you felt a peace wash over you as you drifted to sleep.
“Y/N, Y/N!” Jack whispered, over you.
You shifted and rubbed your eyes open. Damn, was sleeping on the roof always this uncomfortable? The sun wasn’t even up yet, so you weren’t sure how long you’d been asleep for but it felt like it’d been an eternity.
“Let’s get married!” Jack enthused.
“Wait… what?” You sat up now.
“Let’s get married!” He repeated.
You stared at him, brows furrowed as you tried to process this.
“C’mon, let’s go!” He excitedly took your hands and helped you to your feet. “Oh wait, I don’t got no ring… that’s okay, we can get one later.” He began to walk toward the ladder.
“Jack, wait.” You stopped and he turned to look at you. “Why now? Aren’t we jumping into things a little fast?”
He approached you and took your hand back in his. “Well I talked it over with the guys, and ya’ know I never want you to worry if I’m gonna’ leave you and our kid alone in the streets. I wanna’ promise you I won’t.”
You smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“‘Sides,” he added, “it’s the right thing to do, and I love ya’, do we need a better reason?”
You shook your head smiling, and followed him down the ladder. On the last rung you let yourself jump down, the excitement lifting you. Once on the street though, it occurred to you that his plan wasn’t exactly well thought out.
“Wait a second, none of the churches will be open at this hour, will they?” You asked, looking to your love.
He held your hand and continued to lead you down the dark street to the nearest church. The nuns there often fed the newsies.
“Ah, don’t worry ‘bout it. The guys are already there wakin’ em up for this.” He said.
You blinked. “What?” But either he didn’t hear you or ignored you and you soon arrived at the church.
A fairly large group of boys were crowded around a doorway.
“Jack… did you send… all the guys?” You asked but once again he didn’t answer.
“Mr. DaSilva, I ask again, is this an emergency?” The priest asked from the door that lead to his quarters. He stood in his sleepwear, which included a long nightcap, and held a candle.
“Ain’t nothin’ more important than true love, Father!” Crutchie enthused. “They’s gonna ‘ave a baby!”
“A baby?! Shall I fetch the nuns then?” The priest looked alarmed.
“Nah, not right this second, Father!” Albert explained then lightly pushed Crutchie. “Look, now ya got him all freaked out.”
“Oh, sorry Father.” Crutchie apologized, taking off his hat.
“They ain’t gon’ have the baby for another… how many months does it take?” Albert asked, looking to Race.
“Nine?” Race suggested though he wasn’t completely confident in his answer.
“Nine months!” Albert replied to the tired man.
“Then why are you here?” The priest asked, getting annoyed.
“Father, sir,” Jack said, now approaching while still holding your hand. The other boys parted to make way for him. “Would ya’ please do me the honor of marryin’ me and my girl, Y/N tonight? Ya’ see, I just found out we’s expectin’ a baby and I know it’s the right thing to do an’ all and even if it wasn’t I’d still be ‘ere,” he turned to face you, “askin’ her eventually.” Jack smiled. “Just so happens fate be makin’ it a little sooner. But I love her, I do.”
You smiled back at him and his thumb rubbed your hand for a moment.
The priest sighed, realizing the crowd of boys wouldn’t let him rest until they were satisfied. “Very well. Let me get my robes and bible.”
The newsies cheered and Jack embraced you in a hug.
***
You let out a frustrated sigh as you flopped down onto the bed in the room that you and your, now husband, rented. It wasn’t in the best of neighborhoods and you knew you couldn’t keep up living there much longer.
“You alright?” Jack asked from the chair in the corner. Other than the bed the only other pieces of furniture the room held was that chair and a table, which were all there before your move in.
You sat up on the bed now. “I just spoke with Medda.” You started. “She says I can’t sing there anymore.”
“What?! Why?!” Jack exclaimed.
You looked from him down to your growing stomach and back. “Why the hell do you think?”
“She fired you ‘cause you pregnant? That ain’t right” Jack shook his head. “I’ll go talk t’ her.”
“What? No! I can fight my own battles, thank you. Besides, she didn’t fire me. She said I can return just as soon as the baby is born.” You sighed. “It’s just her girls… they have a certain look. They gotta be sexy…”
“Darlin’ you’s always sexy, don’t be ridiculous.” He said, joining you on the bed and kissing your forehead.
“Thanks babe, but I get it. We’ve been finding ways to hide my stomach as best we can but it’s just not working anymore. And when was the last time you saw a pregnant lady in show business? Exactly.” You said.
Jack was quiet for a moment. “Okay, well, that’s okay. You can still go back to it after the baby like she said. In the meantime, I’ll see if I can get some extra money with-”
“Rents due next week.” You reminded.
“Damn.” He breathed. But he didn’t want to stress you, he knew how bad stress could be on a pregnancy so he decided to try and stay positive for your sake. “That’s okay, we’ll work something out. Maybe Davey or his family can loan us a bit. Just for now.”
You groaned at the idea of owing people money, even if it was a friend. Leaving the bed, you moved to the chair and picked up the mail that was sitting on the table. There was a letter from your parents. As much as you hated to go backwards instead of forwards in life you didn’t see any other option at the moment.
“We’ve gotta move back in with my parents.” You stated.
“You mean… Santa Fe?” Jack asked, the usual sparkle in his eye whenever he said the name.
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Youtuber MC - Part 3
Summary: Mc and the demon brothers find out they are in a game, they gain the access to watch a YouTuber's (who is MC) gameplay of the game. This basically allows the bros to hear MC’s true thoughts through their gameplay commentary
MC: This MC is based on my gameplay of the game and my thoughts. Although the MC is based on me I will be writing them with gender-neutral pronouns for all readers to enjoy :).
Warnings: Eventually spoilers
The in-game text will be marked by italics.
As this was being said Solomon shot Simeon a knowing look and smile which was quickly returned, but went unnoticed by the others. The attention of the room was then shifted as the Onscreen MC began their outro.
“Okay my lovelies that is all I will be playing for today. So far we’ve met all the brothers, I think except one and we have found a brethren of ours. None other than our fellow Otaku Levi, he is kind of mean to me but I’m sure we can win him over. Also Mammon just straight up ditched me, but it’s fine, whatever. Anyway don’t forget to subscribe, like, and comment, and I will see y’all next time.”
Off-screen MC clicked onto the next video. After the intro onscreen MC and Levi were still chatting in Levi’s room.
Levi:I don’t think there’s any harm in just coming out and saying what you already know is true; Mammon is a complete and utter scumbag. It’s very important that you understand this. So I’ll say it one more time. Mammon is a hopeless worthless scumbag.
“Goddamn Levi. Everyone is really laying it on thick that Mammon is a scumbag, I really don’t think he could possibly be that bad,” the MC onscreen said
“Oi see MC always thought the Great Mammon was good,” shouted mammon off-screen.
“Actually they said they don’t think you could be that bad, considering how impossibly awful you are that comes as no surprise,” chimed in Asmo
“Actually, I don’t think Mammon is bad at all,” off-screen MC added.
“Yeah! See MC doesn’t think I’m a scumbag end of story,” Mammon finished.
Back onscreen Levi was telling the tale of how he and Mammon first became “enemies.”
Levi:...As I started to lose consciousness, I remember thinking...why does he have to sleep in the nude? He could at least put on some underwear. I don’t remember anything else after that...
“Haha! Wow there is a lot to unpack there, but moral of the story Mammon is super strong, good to note,” MC onscreen observed.
Levi: You’ve seen just how fast he is yourself, haven’t you? No one aside from Lucifer or Beel has that kind of speed. But if, say, a human made a pact with Mammon and bound him to their service...then he’d have to do whatever that human told him to.
“A pact? Like selling my soul?,” questioned MC onscreen.
MC: I don’t want to give up my soul!
Levi: That isn’t always necessary. It depends on what’s in the pact. But, well, you need to give SOMETHING to the demon to make it worth the exchange, so it’s pretty much inevitable. If you don’t want to give up your soul, then I’ll tell you how you can negotiate with Mammon
MC: How would I go about doing that?
Levi: If you just walk up to Mammon and ask him to make a pact with you, he’ll never agree. No, you need some leverage... something he wants so badly that he’d do ANYTHING to get it.
“Aw I don’t want to like force Mammon to make a pact with me. That feels so icky,” complained onscreen MC.
The lesson ends and onscreen MC continues to the next one. The scene shows MC walking to class passing two nearby demons.
Demon A: Hey check it out. That’s the human that everyone’s been talking about. You think it’s true what they say, that Mammon became a babysitter?
Demon B: Well, if so, then I’d say that actually works out great, doncha think? If we wait and strike when he’s not paying attention, he’ll never figure out it was us.
“Okay, so we can either run away or make a move. Earlier Mammon told us to always run away so I’m going to follow his advice and do just that.”
Solomon: Hey, you there. That’s right, I’m talking to you, the human with that frightened, tormented look on your face that demons love so much. You’re practically screaming “Come and eat me! I’m scrumptious!” Your name’s MC, isn’t it?
“Okay first of all, rude, secondly I assume this is the other human in the exchange program,” stated Onscreen MC.
At this Solomon off-screen let out a light chuckle as he half-heartedly apologized to MC.
Solomon: This D.D.D here belongs to you, right? I saw you drop it just now. Here, take it.
“Thanks...,” MC onscreen said.
Solomon: Haha. What’s with that look? there’s no need to be suspicious of me. My Name’s Solomon. I’m an exchange student from the human world, just like you. Nice to meet you, Johanna.
“Okay, no offense, Solomon, but you are suspicious, well maybe more mysterious I guess,” said MC onscreen. “Also, it’s interesting that he’s named Solomon, like King Solomon from the bible. Okay, so, my three options are ‘I need your help’ I’m not asking that, ‘How do you know my name?’ and ‘Are you really human.’”
MC: Are you really human?
Solomon: Haha, good question. Honestly, there are times when even I’m not so sure. Long ago, I obtained a ring of wisdom- a gift from a certain someone in a VERY high position. And, drunk on its power, I used it to form pacts with 72 different demons, becoming a wicked sorcerer...That is, if you believe all the stories people tell about me.
“That is super interesting, I don’t know about the Bible, but in the Quran King Solomon actually got his powers from God himself. He had many powers but his most notable being that he ruled every being on Earth, including Gin (Quran version of demons basically,) but he was considered a good guy and a prophet of God, not a wicked sorcerer. So that’s just an interesting parallel there,” Onscreen MC spoke.
At this everyone in the room grew quiet taking in MC’s words, not fully understanding what they were referring to.
Solomon: Regardless, I’m fairly sure that I am indeed still human, though it may not seem like it...Uh-oh. I’d better get going. See you around, MC. Take care of yourself.
“Okay, that was weird and I’m immediately interested in learning more about Solomon”
Lucifer: Good morning, Johanna
“Good morning, Lucifer <3,” MC said in a singsong voice
At this Lucifer smirked, earning a certain knowing look from Diavolo before scowling again.
MC: Good morning, sir.
Lucifer: Looks like you made it through the night without being eaten. Good for you. Still, there’s no guarantee that you’ll make it to tomorrow. Was that Solomon I saw you talking with either? Seeing as you’re both human, it’s fine if you associate with him, but know that he can’t be trusted.
“Awe, is Lucifer jealous of little ole Solomon,” teased the onscreen MC.
At this Solomon let out a laugh, while Belphie and Satan smirked at each other and then MC. Lucifer just scowled more.
Lucifer: He may be a mere human, but he has a ring imbued with wisdom, and he wields powerful magic. He’s the type of man who will try to subjugate even a powerful, greater demon if he gets the chance.
MC: that reminds me of what Leviathan said...
After that the scene ended and MC began their usual outro. While they spoke Solomon turned to MC
“So, I’m suspicious and mysterious?”
MC blushed then replied with “Okay, everyone at that time was suspicious and mysterious to me. Unlike you I only had the knowledge of what various religions said which to be frank wasn’t very helpful.”
“Human religions are weird and very misconstrued. Especially with the relationship of the three realms,” acknowledged Satan.
“You know considering the information you came to Devildom with you adjusted quite quickly, MC,” added Simeon.
“I think it’s always good to have an open mind and just go with the flow sometimes,” finished MC
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me solmare#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levithan#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me beelzebub#obey me beel#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me diavolo#obey me lord diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me solomon#shall we date#solmare
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08/19/2021 DAB Transcript
Esther 4:1-7:10, 1 Corinthians 12:1-26, Psalm 36:1-12, Proverbs 21:21-22
Today is the 19th day of August, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible, I’m Brian it is wonderful, truly wonderful to be here with you today, as we come together around the Global Campfire to take the next step forward together and that next step will lead us back into the book of Esther which we began yesterday and will conclude tomorrow so it's, it's a short story but it's a powerful story with a ton of drama in it. As we saw sort of shaping up yesterday. So, we saw how Esther became Queen. We learned that her actual Hebrew name is Hadassah and she has not revealed her ethnicity that she is a Jewes and the Queen. And, we also met Hayman who intends to absolutely kill every Jew in the Persian Empire. We also learned of Esther's uncle who raised her and his name is Mordechai and he spared the king's life once, he uncovered a conspiracy against the king and he is an official but he will not bow down and pay reverence to Haman. And so, the king, under Haman's influences, has issued an edict that the Jews on a certain day will be purged and Mordecai is just finding out about this. And that's where we pick up the story. Esther chapters 4 through 7 today.
Commentary:
Okay, so obviously the drama continues in the book of Esther and so the antagonist Haman now everything's kind of come into the light and well, he's no more, and we will conclude the book of Esther tomorrow because even though Haman is…is no more the directive that was sent throughout the Empire and sealed with the royal seal well there’s still a day of doom in front of the Jewish people where they're supposed to be annihilated and that can't be undone. It was a royal edict. And so, that's gotta get sorted out and we’ll work through that in tomorrow's reading.
And then today we read from first Corinthians chapter 12, which obviously precedes 1 Corinthians chapter 13. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 is a very famous chapter in the Scriptures, known as the love chapter where Paul describes what love is and what love does and how it behaves and so we’ll get to that. But setting that up is what Paul is doing right now and he is answering some questions. So, 1 Corinthians 12 begins, “now concerning what you wrote about the gifts from the Holy Spirit.” So, that one sentence we know that they had written to the apostle Paul for instruction on how the Holy Spirit works and what the Holy Spirit does. And that's…that's still a question among a lot of people until today kind of depending on the type of congregation you worship at, a primary of prominence is given to certain aspects of the Holy Spirit, or were told to seek as many of them as we can get our hands on, I guess, as many as we can achieve or as many as we can ask for that God might use us or certain gifting's put people in front of other people and so kind of in the natural order of our culture elevates them as it may be more than we who are less than, who don't have that particular gifting that is super noticeable and so we look at the super noticeable gifts as something more important or something more desirable. Paul kinda dives into that and we just read the 12th chapter 1 Corinthians, and go back and re-read and kind of digest the essence of what Paul is saying is let's talk about the Holy Spirit. For starters, the Holy Spirit could never curse Jesus and somebody without the Spirit could never confess that Jesus is Lord. That's just like a little rule of thumb that’s like this little thing to carry around that he's giving them so that they have this initial, just observations, little tool to start with. And then he goes further by explaining there are different kinds of spiritual gifts and they all come from the same Holy Spirit. There are different ways to serve the Lord. There are different ways to serve his people. But however, his people serve the Lord, there is only one Lord to serve so, the Lord is being served. I quote Paul, “the Spirit's presence is shown in some way in each person, for the good of all.” So, in other words, there are plenty of gifts that the spirit brings to serve the Lord, to serve God's people and to facilitate the body. Some are more visible than others, but all are necessary and none are more important than any other one. And that's when Paul then starts describing what we know as the body of Christ and the reason that he's using that analogy is that there are many gifting's from the Spirit because there are many parts of the same body, and using the analogy of the body makes it really clear. Some parts are more visible than other parts. Some need modesty. And I can't say to an ear, I don't need you, a hand can't say because I'm not a foot I’m not part of the body; none of these things are true. The body is made up of all kinds of parts, all of them are needed to make all whole body and if one part is hurting every part suffers. So, as we are being led into the love chapter, we are being told nobody's more important than anybody else. We are all in this together. In fact, if we aren't all in this together, then that's a humongous problem because we are all part of one body empowered by one Spirit. This is a really, really wonderful to move through this territory and it’s stuff that we might feel as if we kind of already know, like, cause this isn't something that's obscure in the Scriptures. These concepts are, you know, fundamental Christianity. And yet, let's just take one step back and now let's take another step back and another and another, so that we can back away from this for a second and ask ourselves, just because I know this does not mean that this is how I live or am I constantly in a game of comparison with somebody else's gifting's or somebody else's part of the body and collectively are we doing this, like, are we all always dissatisfied with the part of the body that we are, so that we have to constantly look at another part and wish that that could be our story. Or, are we lucky to be here? Are we fortunate? Has God given us grace and mercy to include us in what he's doing? So much so that we are a part of his body, part of God's body upon this earth, we are the flesh and bone. We are the Jesus with skin on. We are very fortunate to be here at all. Paul's going after stuff that goes, that was going on in the church in Corinth, but it's always been going on this game of comparison. Whose more gifted than somebody else and whose more visible than somebody else and what do I got to do to have that many followers. What’s the magic? I cannot literally, cannot tell you how many times that question has been asked to me. And I, for 16 years have been scratching my head to answer that question because I don't know. I feel lucky or fortunate or blessed to be here at all. And so, every day is a day of wow, wow we get to do this together. But I cannot tell you how many times I've taken meetings from people who’ve even flown to Nashville, I’ve stopped taking these kinds of meetings long ago, but at the end of the day, it wasn't really the Daily Audio Bible stories that people wanted to know, it was “what was the secret sauce?” What was the secret, what was the magic? What was the thing? How can that be replicated? How can I get a following? How can I build a platform? And to those questions, I have to say well, I mean, there's ways to do it with…with the methods of our culture. Start building something. This is what we do, we start building platforms so that we can get higher and higher and higher above the noise. And so, we can be seen in so that we can have a platform from which to say things. And I'm not so sure that's how it works in God's kingdom. Seems like the first place to start is wow, wow I'm invited to be included in this body. Wow, what did I do? How did this happen? I get to be a part and partner with God on anything. How did that happen? I'm so fortunate. Like, that's the place to start. And Paul’s giving language, spiritual language to those concepts in the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 12 today. As we move toward the 13th chapter, tomorrow.
Prayer:
And so, Father, let's, we just want to stay in that place of wow, You even know who we are, You even know how many hairs are on our head. You actually know about us more than we know about ourselves and You have loved us despite the things that we have gotten ourselves into, and have included us. And so, often we are a part of something but we want to be a different part, we want to be, we want to be more visible or we want to be over here. We want to be that or we want to have that gifting. Father, we’re sorry, we’re sorry like, that's acting kind of like a selfish little kid and sometimes we get glimpses of this and how we behave toward You. Sometimes it comes upon us that maybe it's time to grow in this area. Maybe we should grow up and that seems to be the invitation here. We don't need to be compared and we don't need to compare ourselves because we are uniquely placed in Your body. There is no one else that can fill this space. Thank You for letting us be here at all. Help us Holy Spirit to focus on the good that is being done collectively, rather than us trying to carve out some place where we can be seen and celebrated and worshiped for doing what all of us are doing, which is simply serving and loving You and by extension, loving the world around us, so the light can shine into the darkness. Come Holy Spirit into this we pray, in the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.
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And as always if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the Daily Audio Bible app from wherever you are in the world. But there are a number of numbers that you can call depending on where you are in the world as well. If you are in the Americas 877-942-4253 is the number to call. In the UK or Europe 44 2036 088078 is the number to dial. And if you are in Australia or the Lands Down Under 61 3 8820 5459 is the number to dial.
And that's it for today, I’m Brian, I love you and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow.
Prayers and Encouragements:
Good morning family this is Pathfinder and I’m calling for prayer for a family member. We call him Uncle Jean. Uncle Jean has been a deacon for 35 years and he’s certainly been in the valley a lot over the last 5 or 6. He lost his wife to ALS, he lost his son to ALS, he lost another daughter to ALS, he has a daughter who has tested positive for the ALS gene and he has two other children that are not getting tested. He, being a deacon for bode the services for his wife and his two children. Recently, he fell, he’s 88 years old, broke a hip, was in rehab. And then they found this huge tumor in his arm. Actually, they found it back when COVID started and they just didn’t do anything about it because they didn’t want him in the hospital because of his age, his frailty. But they finally did an MRI last week and they had to amputate his arm. Him and his family need your prayers. His remaining children are strong and are helping him. I’m praying but as I pray, I still got these questions in my mind as why is this happening to this poor family. And so, I figured I’d turned to the experts in prayer to help me with this. Thank you DABers, I love you all, I pray for you all the time. Thank you.
Hello everyone this is Lualan in China just calling in, outside of my comfort zone to pray for people with mental illness. There’s been a lot of requests like that recently specifically for Quiet Confidence and for LJ Lavender Dream. Lord, we come to You and we lift these people up to You. Please be with Quiet Confidence give her peace, give her assurance of her salvation. So that she can come to You. Be with Lavender Dreams son, it’s hard when you’re in a mental hospital and you don’t’ want to be there. You feel like people have betrayed you, abandoned you. Help her son to know that she isn’t doing that, she’s doing it because she loves him, to protect him. Be with her, give her strength and peace.
Hi Daily Audio Bible family. This is Renzo in Florida and I just want to pray that I heard for, I just want to pray for Jonathan in Denver. Father God, just please pray for Jonathan in the name of Jesus that Jonathan would just be healed on this pornography addiction God. And please help him to remember that there’s no competition on who’s a better believer, we’re all saved by grace. And I was addicted to pornography one time myself. But God completely healed me of that. I’ve been healed from that for two years now and I just thank God for everything. One thing I always remember is no matter your age God can heal you of anything. Don’t…don’t feel, don’t get down on yourself, don’t discourage yourself. Keep walking the word, keep engrossing yourself in Scripture. Keep, like you said, bathing in the Scripture, that’s so important. And God, just please let him to just keep having that fire for You God. Even if the progression is slow, it’s the same thing for me too, it was slow at first. But God, You healed me. And, like it says Joy will come in the morning. And God, we just thank you for everything you do. In Jesus name we pray, Amen. Have a blessed rest of your day guys, Jesus loves you.
Hey, this is Jerry calling from Duluth, Minnesota. With a heavy heart today. Last time I called, I think, called regarding our third daughter who is bipolar, drunken and suicidal in the middle of the night. Well, now she’s pregnant with an abusive alcoholic partner. Who, once he found out that she’s pregnant, he took off out of town. So, she’s alone, pregnant, broke, barefoot as they say. Alone. And hurting and has seemingly messed up her life now for the rest of her life. As a parent you don’t know what to do. She, five years ago, was doing very well. She was getting her masters degree, teaching. Then bipolar started to manifest itself. Four years ago, her husband abused their oldest daughter so she left them and started living a incredibly promiscuous lifestyle. Now, is reaping the consequences of it. Appreciate your prayers for a situation that has no easy answers. Thanks. Bye.
Happy Sunday DAB family. It’s August 15th my name is Michael and I’m a first time call in, so to speak. I want to thank you all for responding to prayer requests, it has been so uplifting these last few weeks. As the Lord has brought me back to the DAB app to have that constant word, thank you Brian. And the constant prayers and answers to prayers that are coming through with your responses. I’m asking for prayer for my family. Again, my name is Michael and my child Kirin is 17, biological male and yet struggling with gender dysphoria, depression, anxiety and recently diagnosed with autism. DAB family, I implore you to pray for my child. That he would turn back to the Lord of his upbringing. To embrace Christ as he is walking down a path that we don’t agree with and don’t understand fully. Pray for my child DAB family. Thank you.
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Shit Church Experiences Pt. 1
As the pandemic continues, I’ve been thinking more and more about shit that I never had time to think about before. It weighs on my mind as I try to sleep every night, and since I process by writing things out, I decided this would probably be a good first step at getting it the fuck out of my head. Nothing has affected me quite as much as my church experience. None of my current friends went regularly as a child, so I’ve become the go to for Bible related questions. Unfortunately for them, I’ve blocked a lot out from my memory as far as Bible memorization goes. A lot of the other shit persists.
I had never heard of church until I was probably 8 or 9. My aunt, uncle, and cousins lived in an apartment complex in my hometown, so I was over there frequently being watched by my aunt and uncle. I remember one day being asked if I would like to go on the “church bus” and go to Sunday School with my cousin. She was probably around 5 and my aunt was putting her on this “church bus” alone to go to some unknown church. Mind you, this wasn’t a traditional bus but a large 14-seater van. Don’t worry, it had windows! I’m not sure if I was supposed to keep my cousin company or if my cousin was just encouraged to bring me along.
The church was about five or so miles away from the apartment complex and sat on a mostly empty highway. It was surrounded by lots of trees and the road with the entrance to the church was kind of treacherous. Since there was not much else around, people driving on the highway weren’t very good at paying attention to cars slowing down to turn into the church. When I first started going, it was large but pretty modest inside. It had red brick walls and a tall white steeple. The inside had a cafe and an area for kids. Sunday school rooms were upstairs. The sanctuary was covered in thick maroon carpet. I should have taken it as a subdued warning; everything in that place was a shade of red. A few years later they would build a brand new, extremely massive sanctuary and a school onto the side of the old church building. The adults had church in the new sanctuary and the kids used the old building.
I don’t remember what that first time was like, but after that, I was in love with going to church. We sang songs and danced around, they gave us SNACKS, we played fun games, and the best part was that I was being told how good of a child I was for going to church.
The church bus started coming to pick me up at my own home every Sunday. I took my mom with me one time. Then the next time my dad came. After that, we went to church every Sunday without fail. This comes back to haunt me to this day. If I hadn’t gotten on that stupid bus, I never would have gone through all of the pain and suffering that it caused later down the line.
Even though my parents were church regulars, I still rode the church bus. I got to hang out with kids, sing songs, and goof around without my friends. Also, if we brought friends, then we were rewarded. Whoever brought the most friends on the church bus at the end of the month got to go out to lunch with the bus driver, Jake. What a reward, huh? He took us to Wendy’s for burgers, fries, and a frosty. I won that prize SEVERAL times.
The thing about me is that I’m very motivated by praise from authority figures. I’m also very motivated by food. Naturally, church was a dangerous environment for a person like me. There’s always food, and there are plenty of people that have authority and use it to the fullest extent. It wasn’t even hard to look up to them because everyone was always so kind, or pretended to be.
In Sunday school and in kid’s church, which they called “Adventure Land,” I was very subservient. I memorized all of my Bible verses, I did my daily devotional, I prayed. I wanted to be the best, and I wanted God to love me the most. I thought that if I showed them and God how good I was then I wouldn’t end up in the scary, fiery place called Hell. I had to prove I was good enough to be in heaven. I also wanted to prove to everyone else that I had worth and was meant to be there.
I was quickly pulled into the church “family” and my parents were too now that I spent every Sunday and Wednesday at the church. My dad joined the church choir and band. He played the saxophone, and he loves nothing more than to sing his heart out. My mom cleaned the church every Tuesday. I would usually go with her then, too, to help clean. When I got a little older, I got roped into doing puppet shows and teaching kids how to do the dance moves for the songs. The adults trusted me to help teach others what to do, so I felt the worth I wanted so badly. I knew all of the words and motions to all of the songs! I raised my hands and swayed to the music. I closed my eyes and pretended to feel the Lord’s presence. I knew how to do this stuff. Therefore, I was perfect for indoctrinating younger children!
I don’t recall a lot of the time I spent “witnessing” to other children, but I have a strong memory of something I did for Vacation Bible School (VBS). In the summer, there was a weeklong camp that parents sent their kids to so we could learn all about Jesus and be entertained so parents could have a break from their kids. I went up on stage with two adults in front of the entire congregation and sang a song and danced as a preview for that year’s VBS called Amazon Outfitters. I still remember the song. Now, I see how racist and fucked up it is. It went:
Amazon Outfitters,
We’re on a mission for the one true God.
We cannot be quitters,
We’re on a mission and we will not stop.
Amazon Outfitters,
We’re giving everything that we’ve got
To help others discover
The wonders of the one true God.
And at the end of that verse you made a guttural “HUH!” noise like Edwin Starr in his song “War” because that’s exactly what that song needed. The song is poorly written, but at least it has the imperialistic undertones! Colonization, anyone?
So yeah, a person who is now painfully introverted went up on stage to advertise to parents and their children how they could be cool, just like me, if they went to VBS. Where was my shame? I desperately needed it then, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was important.
I was also a perfect candidate for indoctrinating others because of how “inspiring” my story was to others, at least according to the adults. I came to church for the first time WITHOUT MY PARENTS and CHOSE to keep coming back. Heck, I BROUGHT THEM WITH ME!! I was the pride and joy of several Sunday School teachers and youth pastors. I was also “saved” before my parents were, so it was because of me that they got saved too.
It’s an absolutely riveting story, let me tell you. One of the church members was an actual cowboy. He had a farm, he owned horses, he had a cowboy hat, he had a handlebar mustache, the dude had it all. On a very special day of church, he brought one of his horses with him to show all of the children. While he talked to us about Jesus, I was enraptured by that horse. I’m not really into horses, although maybe I could have been in another life, but at that moment, nothing was more important to me than touching that horse. He had rich brown hair and a diamond shaped white spot on his nose. Luckily, if we decided that we wanted to ask God to forgive our sins and to follow him no matter what on that very day, we were allowed to come and TOUCH THE HORSE!!!! Like fuck was I passing up that opportunity! I was the first kid to stomp my happy ass up to that horse. I touched it and asked God to forgive me of my sins without a second thought.
I was informed soon after that I would have to get baptized, you know, because we have to wash away our sins in a chlorinated pool before it’s official. I did that without question. It was on a day in April in the old church building. It was still cold outside, enough to wear a jacket. I’m pretty sure I wore a dress that was white and lacy. You wouldn’t catch my gay ass in something like that now-a-days, which is why I bring it up. Upon arrival at the church, we were told that the heater in the baptismal wasn’t working, but it would be okay to go ahead with the baptisms.
It was not okay.
That water was so cold, that everyone that got baptised that day was a shivering mess for the rest of the service. My legs turned purple. I will NEVER forget how cold I was and how foreign my legs looked on my body. I also recall keeping my eyes open when the pastor dunked me into that water.The pastor laughed at me and told me I was weird. Then, later in the day, my parents threw a little party for me where everyone brought me gifts for being baptized. It made me feel proud and WORTHY.
I give myself a lot of shit for following so blindly, for not questioning, for believing every adult I encountered had good intentions, but there was absolutely no hope for me then. I’m a people-pleaser, I’ll admit it. I know how to listen, pay attention, be quiet, obey. I was taught to always respect adults no matter what. I never questioned them or talked back. I once asked my parents what I was like when I was younger, beyond my memory. My dad said to me, “You were always such a good little girl. You were so...meek. If another kid was throwing a fit because you had a toy they wanted, you would just give it to them and do something else.”
He’s not wrong. That behavior persists to this day. I find it interesting that my parents weren’t more concerned about it. I was such an anxious child. I identified with cartoon characters like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh and Chuckie from Rugrats. Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus, too, but that’s just because I’m a weirdo nerd. Maybe they found it endearing and sweet. Maybe they liked how cautious I was because they never had to worry about me doing something dangerous. Honestly, I don’t blame them. I’m sure I was an easy child to handle. However, at a time when I needed more than ever to have ideas and opinions, I was indoctrinated into an extremely toxic church environment. Something that was supposed to give me meaning, purpose, and worth actually left me with nothing when I no longer followed without question.
I still have plenty floating around in my head and MANY STORIES that I believe need to be told. Later I’ll be talking about:
The Youth Barn - are you ready teens?! AYE AYE, JESUS!
The Baptist Church Break-up
The Truth About Bob (spoiler: it’s not good)
The Pizza Church
Noah and The Wonderful World of Technology
Ken Ham and Creationism
Youth Group
Church Band
“Dude, your pastor is a little creepy…”
HOW I ESCAPED
#church#bad experience#quarantine thoughts#childhood#indoctrination#war huh#what is this good for?#absolutely nothing
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Chapter 20
Words: 2.2k
Warnings: None
︻デ═一 ♥
"I'm so glad you asked me to tag along with you," Irene smiled from ear to ear as she walked a few steps ahead of Sehun, who exhaled sharply.
After he left the Kim Estate, he was headed to the Lotte World Mall to find a dress for Haneul, but then Irene gave him a call and when he told her he was going to find the girl a dress, the older women decided to take it upon herself to join him.
"You didn't ask though," Sehun replied, looking around the shopping outlets. "I can find a dress on my own, you know. I have good taste in clothes, you can't deny that."
"You're just going to pick out something slutty," she teased and the younger male stammered, coming to a halt.
"Noona! I would never!" He protested, taking offense to her words. He could never look at Haneul like that. He loved how cute and innocent she looked. He didn't dare think about the amount of skin he wanted to see from her, but as he followed after Irene, something within him changed. He recalled the night she sang at The Magic Shop, how long and slender her legs looked, the way her thin, petite frame curved in all the right places. Her skin looked so soft to the touch, and it stirred a feeling of wonder as to what she might look like under those dresses she wore--under the shirts and jeans she sported casually, under the t-shirt and jogging sweats she wore at home... Dammit, Sehun shook his head to rid himself of such naughty thoughts. Now's not the time to think about that!
"Excuses, excuses," Irene sang, still playing around with him until she came across PINKO, an Italian fashion brand targetted toward women, known for its wide selection of dresses, blouses, and coats. She walked into the store and Sehun followed behind, watching her sift through several dresses on the rack. "No... not that one... ew," she scrunched her nose, and Sehun agreed, but not about that one dress she disliked suddenly.
The whole rack she was looking through was disgusting. "Noona, I can find her something, trust me."
"You know I can't leave anything to you," she said, and she grabbed a black dress with a conservative high laced collar and cuffs, long sleeves, and buttons running along the front. "This is good! That way you won't look at her like you're about to eat a meal."
"She's going to a party, not Church!" the raven-haired male exclaimed.
"What's wrong with dressing up as a Church girl?" the older women cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you were the more religious one out of the other members of EXO."
"Oh please, I may read the Bible but I'm a sinner with blood on my hands," Sehun grunted. He reached for the dress, gently taking it from her and setting it on the rack. "Trust me, Noona. I can find her an appropriate dress. Just let me do it."
Irene stared at him for several moments before huffing, nodding with defeat and allowing to find a dress for Haneul, "Alright... I'll put my trust in you. Go ahead and look around," she gestured toward the rest of the store, and he gave her a small smile, bowing his head graciously and walking deeper into the store.
Sehun looked around carefully, scanning the dresses on the other racks, but nothing seemed to catch his eye. There were evening dresses with low-cut fronts which he didn't find decent, nor did he like ones that were too short and would make Haneul uncomfortable. She wore skater dresses to work, so those were out of the question, and others were just as conservative as what Irene showed him before.
"There has to be something," he mumbled, moving toward the side, and passing by several blouses and overcoats until he came across a rack that had one dress left. He came to a halt and inspected it, lips parted and eyes widening slightly as he took it in.
It had a sleeveless black lace bodice with a round collar that ended mid-waist with abstract patterns. The skirt was pleated and asymmetrical, a soft cherry blossom pink, and he could only imagine how beautiful Haneul would look in it. He had never seen her wear a soft color like pink. It would probably go well with her pale skin and brown hair. He reached for the dress, smiling with satisfaction and making his way back toward Irene, who was busy looking at some dresses for herself.
"You found something?" She asked when she heard his footsteps.
"Yup," he answered, holding up the dress. "Take a look."
The older woman faced him, inhaling when she saw the dress. It was a stark contrast from what she had initially picked, but at the same time, she expected no less from Sehun. The dress was beautiful but appropriate enough so that other men wouldn't think twice about laying eyes on Haneul, and the color would go well with her. "This is Irene-approved," she raised her head, meeting his dark gaze. "we can buy this dress for her."
Sehun breathed a sigh of relief, giving her a nod. Now that it was approved by her, he didn't have to think about traversing the whole mall to find the perfect dress for Haneul. "Thank God. Now, let's pay for this quickly and head to Louis Vuitton. I need another suit."
︻デ═一 ♥
Life had returned to The Magic Shop as more customers walked through the door. Haneul and the boys were dressed in white, getting ready for a brand new performance—something little more seductive and sensual, but it would be a decent performance nonetheless. Once they took the stage, they got into position with Jimin in the center, and he began to sing, the choreography synchronized, as usual, their gazes piercing into the men and women—mostly women—who watched their performance in awe. It was time for the rap line to take the stage, singing the first bridge after the hook.
[Suga, RM, J-Hope]
My blood, sweat, and tears
My body, mind, and soul
I know well they're all yours
This is a spell that will punish me
Peaches and cream
Sweeter than sweet
Chocolate cheeks
And chocolate wings
But your wings are the devil's
There is a 'bitter' next to your 'sweet'
Kiss me, it's okay if it hurts
Just make it as tight
As that I can't feel the pain anymore
Baby, it's okay if I get drunk
I'll drink you in deep now
Deep into my throat
The whiskey that is you
[V, Haneul, J-Hope]
My blood, sweat, and tears
My last dance too
Take it all away
My blood, sweat, and tears
My cold breath too
Take it all away
I want you more
When the chorus came, the eight of them put as much energy into the dance routine, singing about a temptation that prompted them to sin. One could hear the dreamy sighs of the women in the corner as they eyed the seven males dancing and harmonizing with Haneul. Their visuals and voices had put them in a trance.
[Haneul]
My blood, sweat, and tears
My blood, sweat, and tears...
They finished their performance and the patrons exploded into applause, cheers, and whistles, still fixated on the eight angels on stage, and Haneul was the first to exit the stage. She walked toward the bar where Bella had poured her a whiskey on the rocks, sliding the intricate glass along the counter. "Here you go."
"Thanks," the brunette said before sipping her drink. "It's been so long since I've had one of your drinks."
"Well, you'll be having them again from now on," Bella chuckled.
"I have to go to the back and start cooking for the next customers," Jin gestured as he took off his suit jacket, hanging it to Dawon, who accepted it without question. "We should handle the rest of their orders while Soobin and the others perform their number."
"And in the meantime," Jimin walked up to brunette and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pinching her cheek playfully. "You are going to tell us more about that Sehun. I want to hear everything." His eye smile was still so bright.
Hoseok took a seat on one of the bar stools, ready to listen as well, "Yes, please tell us! Does he have good marksmanship? Is he rich? Ooh, does he shower you with expensive gifts?"
"One and a time, Hobi," Namjoon held his shoulder and a laugh. "I'm sure he's all of those things and even more."
"I'll say!" Dawon agreed and began to fix up the white lace on the dress Haneul had been wearing. "Did you see the car he pulled up in? How can he not be?!"
"I think you can stop worrying about Neullie now," Yoongi confirmed. "It's obvious she's being taken care of. Sehun may not have the best job on the planet but he's an upright guy if he's protected her for this long."
"You're right, hyung," Jungkook raised his head and looked between then others. "I don't have to worry anymore. And you do look happier, Neullie... you look better than the last time we saw you."
"Do I?" She giggled, bowing thankfully. "Thanks everyone..."
Taehyung has remained silent the whole time, nursing his drink in his hand as he mulled over their words. He still wasn't sure if he should trust a guy like Sehun. After all, it was the mafia that was responsible for the debt his family was in. Granted, it wasn't EXO who was targeting his parents and siblings, but he had a history with the underworld which he wanted to forget and which he didn't want his friends involved in.
"I still don't trust him," Taehyung spoke seriously, facing the others. "He's going to have to convince me that he's protecting her. All those guys in the mafia—they're the same... greedy, murderous, lustful." He put down his empty glass and walked toward the back of the cabaret, and everyone watching with intent, concern on their expression as he left them.
Bella released a sigh, leaving her place behind the bar and following after him until she reached the storage room where the older male was seated on the couch. Taehyung has his shoulders dropped, his head hanging, hands in his lap while pain and anger lined his features. "Taehyung," she began, walking toward him slowly before taking a seat beside him. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he looked at her, his eyes glazed over, tears ready to spill forth. "I know you're in pain... but maybe we can trust him."
"I want to, I really do," he hissed, a tear dropping down his cheek. "But how can I...? What if he asks the same thing from her?! Soon it'll be money, then sex, and then she'll be swallowed up until she can't get out of the darkness!"
"I don't think he's like that," Bella disagreed with him, running her fingers through his long curly blue hair. "You saw him before. He looked very sincere... even when he was asking Neullie to stay with him back then, there were no ill intentions in his voice. He may be in the mafia but he's got a good heart."
"It just scares me to think my friends could possibly be involved," he sighed deeply, turning away to look at the floor. "Just the fact that we know him puts us in danger! And if anything happened to them, and you, I—"
"Kim Taehyung," the silver-haired female squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. "Nothing is going to happen. Things are going to get better, you'll see. Maybe they already are since Neullie came back to The Magic Shop today. He may be a hitman but you should give Sehun a chance. Who knows? You might find the two of you are a lot similar than you think." She pulled him close, his head resting on her shoulder while she combed through his hair in comfort.
She knew Taehyung would listen to her. He always did. Right now, he just needed to be assured things were going to be alright. She knew he had been having a hard time since a small syndicate had been harassing his family, but he was close to paying off that debt thanks to working at The Magic Shop. He was opening his heart to the pain in order to exchange it for something better.
It wasn't just the customers outside who deserved something better. Even Taehyung needed that. It is with mindfulness and compassion that they opened these doors to the people of Seoul and once day, Taehyung would do the same for Sehun.
Somewhere outside, seated on one of the tables in the back, a pair of red eyes had watched as Taehyung and the silver-haired female walked toward the back of the cabaret. He nursed his drink in his hand, a smirk on his face before he brought the rim to his lips, downing the whiskey in seconds.
He was here to collect.
#romance#eventual fluff#eventual romance#eventual smut#eventual happy ending#exo#sehun#exo sehun#bts#oh sehun
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The Looking Glass
gif
Words: 1978
Characters: Willow Wren, Marty Fields, Phil Coulson, Daisy Johnson, Melinda May
Prompt/Tag:
“We have to leave the country.”
Summary: Willow receives unexpected visitors following the library incident
Timeline: October 2015
Song: The Hall of Mirrors - Kraftwerk
A/N: uh-oh sisters!
—————————————————————————–
It seemed that my prayers weren’t answered. I spent the days after the library incident completely paranoid, feeling like this was becoming a pattern, some incident escalating, the fallout paranoia, and then the eventual slide back into normalcy until the next one.
I need to stop. I need to stop.
That Thursday was the first day I was able to not obsess over what happened. Marty and I made a pact to not talk about it, and I made a promise to never let Marty get that close again. That was a mistake. He saved me, but what if it went differently? No more help.
I got home from school early that day, only feeling a little better after learning that Adrian Lester had been arrested, and the fire alarm pull had been attributed to him as well, as an escape tactic. I tried not to let it get to my head, but I was shocked that I had gotten away with it, right out in the open, in broad daylight. Stop this, stop this Willow. We’re going down a dangerous path.
I had texted the Lab Rats group chat, asking if they remembered anything about a book, but so far, no one had remembered anything. Was it… like… a Bible? Some HYDRA Nazi book? Just a random bedtime story? Is that what Monster was? Just a bedtime story?
I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even hear someone approached our door until they knocked. I froze in my room and opened my bedroom door, poking my head out. Both Marty and his dad were out—it was just me home.
“Oh, what the fuck?” I whispered. I considered just not answering it, maybe they would think no one was home. Okay, we go out through the window, fly to the roof, regroup from there—
No. No powers. I have to face this as a normal person would. I didn’t do anything wrong. I have nothing to hide. It’s that simple. Besides, what if it’s just like UPS dropping off a package?
They knocked again and I crept towards the apartment’s front door before peering through the peephole. There were three people outside—official looking. Oh shit. HYDRA?
I should run, right now. Leave.
But if it was HYDRA, they would have come for me while I was at school. They wouldn’t knock, right?
I took another deep breath, checked to make sure my wings were hidden, and slowly opened the door, just enough to poke my head out. “Hello?” It was a man and two women. The man seemed to be the one in charge, which was one suckaroo for feminism.
“Hi, Willow?” the man asked. “Mind if we come in? We have a few questions about an incident you may have witnessed at the Henry Clay Public Library the other day.”
Oh SHIT.
I pushed away my panic and tried to remain calm and keep my expression neutral. “What? What incident?”
“It would be easier if we could sit down,” said one of the women. She wasn’t smiling like the man was.
“Is anyone else home?” The other woman asked.
I opened the door a little more, my heart pounding as I considered my options. “No…? Maybe… maybe I should call our lawyer or something. Are you police?”
“No, not police,” said the man. “I’m Phil Coulson. We specialize in strange occurrences, like the ones you may have witnessed, as part of the Strategic Homeland, Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division. And this is Agent May and Agent Johnson.”
I worked through the letters in my head. “Shield?” OH SHIT. “Wait… aren’t you guys… wait also hold on, who came up with the letters thingy was it really necessary, it’s kind of a lot…” I couldn’t stop talking, words were just pouring out of my mouth, my usual nervous rambles starting.
“Everything all right?” Agent May asked.
“Yeah, no, I’m fine. So… uh…” I cleared my throat. “What about the library? How did you even know…?”
“Oh,” said Phil, looking towards Agent Johnson for an explanation. “Agent Johnson, can you…”
“You posted on Instagram and tagged the library about ten minutes before it happened,” Agent Johnson said simply. She pulled out her phone and showed me a picture. “This one?”
Oh… fuck. It was a selfie of me and Marty with the caption come to Henry Clay Public Library if you want an ass kicking in the next 30 minutes.
Phil chuckled. “It’s amazing. Every year this part of our job gets easier. Between Facebook, Instagram, and Flickr—”
“Flickr?” I interrupted. “No one uses that anymore. I mean, Snapchat, for example, might be way more helpful if you used the—" I stopped, realized I was rambling again.
“Use the…?” Agent Johnson asked.
“There’s… uh…” I glanced out the window. “A vulnerability that uh…allows you to view Snaps under a specific um… geotag… never mind.” Can you stop talking? Is that possible for you?
“Well, as much as I would love to talk about what’s hip with the kids these days,” Phil said, “We just need to know if you saw anything out of sorts at the library yesterday. Anything strange, unusual?”
Just play dumb.
“I mean... the fire alarm went off. Why would they call you guys in for that?” I plopped down on the couch, putting my shaking hands underneath my legs as the other agents sat down across from me. Get it together! I forced myself to make eye contact with Phil since Agent May wouldn’t stop staring me down. “
“Willow, our team learned of the arrest of a person of interest that took place at the same time you evacuated the building.” Phil pulled out a photo of Adrian Lester and showed it to me. “However, a security camera by the front desk captured the agent being thrown back by an unknown force before his arrest and the injuries sustained are believe were inflicted by a powered individual. That’s why we were called in. Here.” He pulled up the security footage and I watched Adrian hit the desk again, flinching as he did so. Did I really throw him that hard?
“Damn, that’s crazy,” I said, not sure of what else to say, kicking myself for forgetting about the camera by the front desk. “I didn’t see anyone though if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Did you see anyone talking to him before the alarms went off?” Phil asked. “Or perhaps what he was doing?”
“I was just there studying,” I said evenly. “No, I didn’t see anything.”
“You didn’t seem him get approached by anyone, or anyone else suspicious in the building?” Agent May clarified.
“No,” I said again, this time a little more forcefully. “Look, I have a lot of homework, so…”
“Okay, all right,” said Phil gently. “We’re just going around and trying to figure out our next steps and questioning anyone who may have seen anything. Thank you for your time.”
I saw Agent Johnson glancing around the apartment, and it was making me nervous. None of this felt quite real and I was already thinking about what this meant for our Rat Revolution, for the others. If SHIELD finds out about us, about what we’ve been doing, we’re going to be in some real hot shit.
This was exactly what Jessica warned you about and you ignored her.
“Who else do you live here with again?” Agent Johnson asked, suddenly.
“Uh… don’t you guys know?” I asked. “I mean, government and all? NSA shit?”
The others looked to Phil as he answered. “Well, actually, you were a bit difficult to track down. Did you move recently? Your records were a bit…well… sparse, to be frank.”
Oh, no. Answer this one carefully.
“Uh… actually yeah,” I said. “Um… there was a big fire.” Why the fuck would you say that? “House burned down… and then uh… my parents died.” Where did that come from? “You can look it up. The Gideon Barn fire.” Willow—stop! Are you on crack or something? “Small farming community. Came to stay with these guys. Family friends.” I shifted my pose to the same one I did when I didn’t do my homework, elbows on the knees, leaned forward like I was going through something, so the teacher would feel bad.
“Sorry for your loss,” Agent May said.
“It’s fine.” No, don’t say that! “Is that everything?” I asked.
“I think so,” said Phil, standing up, the tone in the room shifting again. “We’ll be in touch if we need anything else.”
“Cool,” I led them over to the door. “Well, yeah, stay in touch. Would love to talk again sometime. Sorry I couldn’t help.”
“Nice meeting you,” said Agent Johnson and I forced a smile.
As soon as I shut the door behind them, I huffed a deep breath in, leaning against the door for support, all the anxiety from the interview filling me at once. I felt lightheaded and sat down instead, my head against the wall. This is bad. This is really bad.
I could still hear their voices as they waited for the elevator, and even though they talked in whispers, I could hear them.
“Think she was hiding something?” Agent Johnson asked. “I mean, we can agree that was weird, right?”
Ouch, thanks for that jab to my self-esteem.
“Perhaps,” said Phil. “The question is, why?
“Do you think it was her?” Agent Johnson asked. “I mean if the ACTU finds this person before we do…”
“We’ll find them,” said Phil. “But for now, until we know what we’re dealing with, we’re not equipped to—”
Their voices faded as the elevator descended and I was shaking again. Why didn’t they ask to talk to Marty? Why come here? How much do they know? And why not just scoop me up now?
I went to the window and stared out, half-expecting to see a bunch of black SUVs parked in the street.
My first instinct was to talk to Fanisimo and some of the other Lab Rats and see if we could put together a hack, but if we made a wrong move, it would expose all of us, plus then I’d have to admit to them what I had been doing behind their backs—straying away from our original plan to just expose the old Facility workers, but confronting them, using my powers in the open. Drawing attention to myself.
The door opened and I jumped, stumbling back, only to see Marty slipping his shoes off.
“Hey,” he said. “How are you feeling?”
“We need to leave the country,” I said, and then paused and put a finger over my lips. Bugs. They could have left bugs.
“What are you…” Marty started, and I turned on my phone light to check under the coffee table and furniture, anything the agents had made contact with. When I saw they were empty, I turned off my flashlight and motioned to Marty.
“Turn off your phone.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
When he powered it off, I told him about the agents. “They were here, Marty. In the apartment,” I whispered. “They know stuff, and I don’t know how much.”
“So, what does that mean? What now?”
“It means that I’m done. Everything has to be back to normal. I don’t know how many resources they have or what they know. From here on out, I promise, everything is going to have to be normal.”
It means I’m shouldn’t take my phone with me anymore when I do these operations. It means I have to be twice as careful, no more sloppy work. It means I need to finish this before anyone else finds me.
And what do I mean by finish?
Find Subject Zero. Find Doctor Turner. Find out what Monster was. Destroy anything that’s left of it.
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