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pellucid-constellations · 4 months

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Of Oblivious Minds (3)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Azriel's POV (it's a warning here), angst

a/n: I am blown away by all of you and your support!! I really love writing for this fandom omg. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy ♡ Let me know what you think!! I'll get the next update up soon!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Azriel was losing his ever-loving mind.

A few weeks ago, everything was fine. Not optimal, but fine.

He knew his mate, and that was more than could be said for most of Prythian. But even more than that, he could love her from afar. He could make small remarks and catch the smiles they would elicit. He could send his shadows after her on her walks home, protecting her even though she had the entire Inner Circle looking out for her wellbeing. He could buy the ridiculously expensive pastries she loved and stock the kitchens with them, listening for the small gasps she let out each time she found them.

He could talk to you, listen to you, love you in his small ways, even if it wasn’t the ways in which he longed for.

Because it wasn’t the right time yet. You hadn’t felt the bond for yourself.

So, yes—admittedly, Azriel had not been in the most optimal position with you. But it was leaps and bounds better than the purgatory you were subjecting him to now.

He mulled over his current reality as he sat opposite to you at the dining table. He had had to snag the seat from Mor, ripping the chair from her hand in an uncharacteristic show of aggression, and you hadn’t so much as looked up from your plate. He would’ve rather fought for the seats beside you, but Rhys and Cassian had been sitting before he even entered the room. So now he fought for your eyes and was too far away to offer any lingering, accidental touches.

Not that you would reciprocate either.

You were avoiding him, and Azriel was at his wit's end trying to decipher why.

His shadows had relayed dismal reports, only whispering the words sad and alone and contemplative into his ears each morning. He could have guessed as much, if the display of emotions he had tried to comfort you through all those days ago told him anything.

But Gods, did they really tell him nothing, because you hadn’t spoken to him since.

“—that is certainly something to consider. Y/n, would you be open to the job?”

“Hm?” you hummed, and Azriel watched as your eyes flickered over to Rhys in one abrupt movement. “Sorry, what?”

Rhys raised a brow lined with humor, and Azriel realized he hadn’t been listening to the conversation either. “Helion has extended an invitation to the Night Court—for diplomatic relations and all. It’s mostly a weekend stay for show, but he has quite an extensive library. Feyre and I went last time so it would only be fair if—”

“Yes,” you nodded, the most emotion Azriel had seen on your face in days blooming into a joyous array. “Of course, I would love to go. Are you kidding?”

Rhys chuckled. “I figured. Helion has been quite eager to get you to come as well. Seemed like the perfect time.”

Azriel didn’t miss the way the High Lord’s eyes shone with something other than mirth as he looked closer at the scholar… as he inspected your facade the same way Azriel had been for the past week.

“When can I leave?”

Something in Azriel scratched to a halt. “She’s to go alone?”

Feyre offered the spymaster a soft smile from the other side of the table. “If she wishes. Helion’s invitation was open-ended.”

“Take the vacation, I say,” Mor piped in, wine glass raised in a solitary toast.

“Or… you could take me,” Cassian grinned beside you, jostling you in a playful grip.

You sent a scoff his way. “Aren’t you banned?”

“No, actually. I’m banned from Summer Court, which is completely unrelated.”

A short laugh trickled from your lips. It wasn’t a full one, not like the ones Azriel was so used to—the ones he basked in—but it was a laugh, nonetheless.

He felt the way his eyes seemed to follow the crescendo of it, his blinks in time with the sweet sound.

He committed it to memory.

“Right, well let’s keep you away from neighboring courts as much as possible so we can avoid a repeat of that, okay?”

Something like a grin fought at the side of Azriel’s mouth at your quip.

Cassian prattled on. Something about unjust rules or ridiculous high lords—Azriel wasn’t paying attention. He was too caught up in you and the way you were so close to meeting his gaze.

“Perhaps she shouldn’t go alone,” Azriel spoke up, interrupting his brother’s spiel. You still didn’t look at him, instead turning to catch Rhys’s response.

“Azriel, I can assure you this is a safe visit,” Rhys offered. He knew. Everyone seemed to know but you. “It’s hardly even business. It’s more of a vacation. I’ve been shoving century-old relics in her face for the past few months. She deserves time to herself, don’t you think?”

His High Lord was speaking in code. A terrible, frustrating code that really meant, “give her some distance.”

Azriel had had enough of distance.

He nodded his head all the same.

And then, despite all odds, you looked at him.

You looked at him and it was as if the air had been knocked from his lungs. As if he had been wrung out and stretched thin and every bone in his body forced him to sit up straighter. You were looking at him and Azriel couldn’t conceptualize the way the spectrum in his chest moved so quickly from utter relief to the brink of desolation.

Because you looked at him as if you were broken. A sad—such a sad—smile graced your face, one he had never had the displeasure of seeing before, and he wanted to wipe it away. He wanted to kiss it from your face with soft touches and reassuring whispers and that was startling for Azriel because he usually kept his overwhelming urge to kiss you at bay.

“I’ll bring you back a souvenir,” is all you said. Such simple words to accompany an expression that sent him reeling.

“Thank you,” he replied, with the most sincerity he could muster.

And then he held your gaze as it became downcast. He craned his neck to catch every last second of your eyes as they turned back down to the table.

It was hours later that Azriel found himself in the townhouse, boots creating an indent in the office carpet. Rhys sat just feet away from him, leaning back against the desk, waiting for the Shadowsinger to erupt.

“I would like for you to position your spies further into Autumn. I know you have a few that have integrated into the court, but I need more intel on Eris and his plans.”

“Of course.”

“You can take out any currently residing in Day. Just for the next week or so. With y/n going, she can report any happenings.”

A muscle in Azriel’s jaw jumped. “Would that be wise?”

Rhys stared back at his brother, expression giving nothing away. “Why wouldn’t it be? Do you not trust y/n’s word?”

Azriel’s wings were taut against his back. In truth, he hadn’t felt relaxed in days. With you leaving, that tension would surely pull him into thin compliance.

“Obviously I trust her word, Rhysand.”

“Rhysand? What have I done to earn your grievance?” the High Lord asked, crossing his arms over his chest, still the perfect picture of calm.

Azriel was a juxtaposition before him as he clenched his hands and replied, “You already know.”

“Do I know? I’m not sure you’ve been clear or honest with anyone. Y/n especially.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Rhys bent at the elbow and rubbed a restless hand across his jaw. Azriel ignored the movement in favor of holding eye contact with the High Lord. Azriel was being stubborn, he knew that, but there was no other way to be.

He needed to be consistent and reliable. He needed to be a pillar for his family to lean on, and you were part of that. He wasn’t going to take that away from you—to be selfish and call upon a mating bond you hadn't even been made aware of yet.

He wasn’t going to squander your friendship in the hopes of something more.

There was a chance, no matter how much the prospect pained him to consider, that you wouldn’t want the bond. You had never hinted at wanting more with the spymaster, so there was no telling how you might react to the cauldron blessing you with a union. You could reject it, and with it would go your friendship.

Just the thought sent ice through Azriel’s veins.

Truth be told, he had never shown you many signs either. When the bond snapped months ago, it had taken time for Azriel to come to terms with the truth. He had ruminated on it amidst many sleepless nights, watched you from a new perspective over many dinners, and contemplated the path that had led him to you.

And then he had regretted. Cauldron had he regretted.

The feeling still lingered, a reminder of each woman he had taken to his bed before you. All of the fae that had meant nothing, and even the ones that had boarded on something, he wished he could do away with.

Because you had been privy to them all. He knew you had witnessed a few late-night trysts, and even worse, that you had watched him pine after Mor for a century. It all seemed so frivolous now; it all paled in comparison to you.

And the absolute worst part of it all is that he knew.

He knew how easy it would be to fall in love with you from the start, so he pretended not to notice.

He threw himself into impractical longing and meaningless lovers and he pretended that it didn’t hurt to look at you.

The bond had only cemented his foolishness.

He hardly had a chance with you by the time it snapped.

“Late night then, Az?”

You had teased him over breakfast just days before the bond had snapped for him, a small smile on your face as you lounged at the table early in the morning. At the time, Azriel had bit the inside of his cheek and reeled in his snarkiness. He had avoided your gaze, avoided the robe that barely covered your nightgown, and made himself toast in silence. He had already coaxed the blonde fae out of his bed, and he hadn’t needed a reminder of the woman he had been imagining all throughout the night.

Because that had been something else he opted to ignore—that he pictured you, imagined you, at all times.

It snapped three days later. He had been accompanying you through Velaris. “Shopping for fun,” you had said, “and I hate to go alone.”

The only thing Azriel had taken home that day was a gaping hole in his chest and the knowledge that lying to himself had brought him nothing but pain.

The months following were different.

Everything was different.

But for you, he had come to the grim realization, nothing was different at all. He was still Azriel, your friend Azriel, who was secretive and private and cared from afar. You still pictured him as a man who chose his lovers based on convenience and quick practicality even though he hadn’t so much as looked at another woman since your emotions began flowing through his chest.

Gods, your emotions. They were so positive, so addicting, he could sit back and live his days through you until the end of time. You had so much unrestricted joy coursing through you—so much curiosity and delight. Part of Azriel dreaded the day you did recognize the bond; it would dim the connection to you.

That day in the library had been the first time the bond had chafed against his lungs. He had felt the earthquake beneath his feet and thought nothing of it, but then your fear punctured his being and he had run so fast his wings ached.

And then you started having nightmares, ones he couldn’t fix, and Azriel began to feel like he was losing you. Like the bond was withering and eroding within him and you along with it.

“How long, Azriel?” Rhys’s voice cut through the air with a harshness.

The shadowsinger breathed through his nose, jaw tight.

“Tell me. Tell me how long you’re going to keep this up for.”

“You don’t understand, Rhys,” came Azriel’s low reply. “None of you do.”

The High Lord scoffed. “Right, because I had it so easy with Feyre. Az, mates are complicated—”

“Don’t,” Azriel breathed. A dangerous shakiness accompanied the word.

“Explain it to me. Help me to understand how—”

“There was nothing for you to lose!” The rise of the shadowsinger’s voice sent Rhys into silence. “There was nothing! You hadn’t known Feyre for three centuries—hadn’t known what it was like to see her cry over worthless males or laugh until she was doubled over. You didn’t have time to memorize the sound of her voice or understand how it felt to lose that small piece of her. Because she won’t even talk to me anymore and—”

Azriel cut himself off, moving for the first time since he entered office. He paced, the motion of his feet doing little to dispel the tension from the air or from his body. Azriel tugged a hand through his hair, his shadows following the aggressive pull and weaving through the strands.

“How long?” Rhys asked again, but this time, Azriel knew that he was asking a different question. One that even he himself had avoided answering.

The shadowsinger paused. His next words were tainted and his voice cracked.

“I think forever.”

Part 4

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel angst

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azrielsdove · 5 months

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Ive been loving all the fics youve been posting. I had this lil idea that hopefully sparks joy for you if ur requests are open. Its an azriel x reader. Where reader is very cold hearted and kinda mean almost bitchy like nesta. Hates to be touched eapecially on her back. Azriel hates her cuz she so unpleastant and so incredibly difficult. The bond snaps for azriel and hes so so confused because he for sure thought elain was for him. Reader always looks at azriels hands almost disgusted but the truth is that she had her wings cut off and the stumps burned down to her flesh, so her entire back is scarred like azriels hands. Her face isnt of disgust but since he hides his hands she assumes he'd be disgusted in her. Azriel softens up to her when he finds out she has a soft spot for children, maybe she teaches orphaned children in the city. Idk i just like the idea of a cold hearted reader thats just as scarred as azzy but actually has a soft heart for kids. Or maybe shes always longed for a family of her own but cant get passed her own insecurities. You can change whatever you'd like to fit your writing style. ❤️

Thank you love!!!! I am OBSESSED with this idea and took off with it. I decided to turn it into a mini series, when I started writing the Readers POV it was getting wayyyy long. I hope I have done your idea justice, here is part 1 <3

Cold Hearts: Azriel x Reader

Chapter Warnings: None

Pt. 2 Here

***

Azriel couldn’t stand her. She was nothing but cold and hateful to everyone, especially to him. When she had first come to stay with Rhysand in Velaris, he had tried to be kind to her. Rhys hadn’t told anyone why he brought her, and she certainly never opened up about it.

The first day he met her, she was sitting silently in the small library in the House of Wind. Azriel had smiled at her and given a “Good morning.” She had turned sharply to look at him, her gaze focusing on the hand he waved with. He watched the look of disgust come over her face before she turned back to staring into the fire.

Azriel had been a little taken aback. Sure, he struggled with the way his hands looked, and was no stranger to the dirty looks. The look on her face had been nastier than he had ever seen. She looked at his hands like they caused her pain. He left the library after that, not sure what to think.

Many years had gone by since that first meeting, and Azriel preferred to stay far away from her. No one else wears very fond of her either. He still didn’t know why Rhys had brought her here, nor why he allowed her to stay. She spent most of her days locked in her room or sitting in the library. She occasionally came to meals with the family, rarely speaking. And when she did speak? It was always some cold remark, as if she wanted to be anywhere else with anyone else.

So why did she stay?

Azriel pondered that question far too often. When Rhys became trapped Under the Mountain, he had included that everyone should be prepared for war in his last message. Azriel took it upon himself to train her. He had shown up to her room early in the morning, expecting a fight. To his shock, she willingly came.

She took to training quicker than Azriel had thought. She proved to have some skill under that cold shell she showed everybody, even if it took some coaxing for it to come out. He was impressed. Azriel even started enjoying teaching her, until the day she lashed out at him and declared she never wanted to see him again.

He didn’t know what he had done wrong.

He was trying to teach her a slightly difficult new maneuver. She was struggling to angle her body the correct way, unable to understand how Azriel did it. He had reached out to help her, placing a hand on her lower back and shoulder to move her body into place. She shot out of his grasp like he had stabbed her, whipping around to face him.

“What do you think you are doing?” She had seethed, eyes on fire. Azriel had held his hands up in surrender, confused.

“I was just trying to help-“ He had begun, being cut off by her.

“Don’t. Don’t fucking touch me.” She had glared at his hands, a stare he didn’t miss.

“I don’t understand why you must be so insufferable all of the time!” Azriel had snapped, fed up with the constant negativity and judgement that came from her.

“Maybe don’t be a nasty pig and grab up on any female you see!” She had shouted, turning to leave the ring. “Stay away from me. I don’t wish to see you anymore.”

And that was that.

Cassian had taken over her training from then on out. Azriel was fine with it. She clearly had some sort of issue with him, and it seemed to stem from his hands. His ugly, scarred hands. Were they really so grotesque she couldn’t even stand him touching her?

***

When Rhysand had returned from Under the Mountain, things got better and worse. At first, she had been kinder. Azriel had noticed how she rushed to Rhys before anyone else, how carefully she wrapped him in her arms. The two of them had disappeared after that, not seen until the next day. Azriel couldn’t figure out why the two of them had such a bond, why Rhysand cared for her so much. He had just come back and announced that the human girl - Feyre - was his mate, so it couldn’t be a romantic attraction.

Or could it?

Azriel shook his head, demanding those thoughts the leave his mind. Ignoring the spark of jealousy that ran through him. He didn’t know why he cared so much about her.

***

Elain. There was no doubt in Azriels mind that Elain was his. Rhysand had Feyre, Cassian had Nesta, naturally Azriel would have Elain. It didn’t matter that the cauldron had mated her with Lucien. Three sisters, three brothers. Anyone could read what that meant.

Azriel tried not to notice the way she had slunk into the shadows lately. When Feyre first came to the Night Court, the two had struck up a friendship. Azriel couldn’t believe his eyes and ears when he saw how fun and sweet she was with Feyre. It further confirmed his belief that she was so disgusted in his scars that she couldn’t stand to be near him. She had even started to being nicer to Cassian, her training with him going much better than yours with Azriels had.

Once the bond snapped with Feyre and Rhysand, she had taken a small step back from the both of them. When it snapped with Cassian and Nesta, she had backed away from Cass as well. She barely even had a witty retort anymore, choosing to stay quiet most of the time.

Azriel felt like no one else had noticed the change in her. However, he had to admit, so much change had happened in such a short time that he couldn’t blame them for not realizing.

Why did he realize?

Even as she created small friendships with the others, she ignored Azriel. She only looked at him to stare at his hands. He had taken to wearing his gloves around her at all times, but she just stared as if she could see through the fabric. He had spent decades trying to be nice to her, for nothing. She rarely spoke to him, mostly just gave that look to his hands.

She was always going to be cruel to him.

***

Azriel was trying desperately to find a Solecist gift for Elain. He knew he had a reputation for gifts, and he wanted to make sure what he got Elain was perfect. As perfect as she is.

And he had no idea what that would be.

He was wandering the paths of Velaris aimlessly, peering into the stores as he passed, trying to see anything that seemed like Elain. He was getting worried that he would never find anything, turning away from yet another shop.

He stopped when he saw her.

She was inside a little building, large windows open for anyone to see in. He watched as she stood at the front of the room, facing a small group of…children? He angled his body a little to see clearly into the room, listening to her voice come through the window. Her tone was kinder than he had ever heard it. Azriel watched with wide eyes as she demonstrated a defense move-a move he had taught her.

And now she was teaching it to children.

He watched for the rest of the class, amazed at how well the kids grasped onto the concepts she was teaching. He felt his heart skip when her laughter floated out the windows, a bright smile on her face as she looked at one of the students. He had never seen her like this before.

When the class ended he watched as one of the smaller children ran up to her and threw their arms around her legs. Azriel expected her to jump back at the touch, instead watching her bend down and wrap her arms around them. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He couldn’t believe any of this. He turned and headed back to the House, the gift for Elain long forgotten.

***

He wanted to approach her. He wanted to ask about the children he saw her teaching. He had a sudden desire to know more about her, to see who she may be under that cold exterior.

Azriel should have known she wouldn’t let him.

It was a few days after he had spotted her in town, and he had finally found her alone in the little library. He cleared his throat as he approached her, hoping to get her attention. Of course, she ignored him. He shouldn’t have been hurt by it, but he had been so hopeful after seeing her with the children.

Azriel called her name.

Her head slowly turned to him, eyes blazing. “Yes?” She asked coolly. Azriel have a small smile, refusing to lose his nerve now.

“I saw you, in town? With the children? I-“ He started, cut off by her suddenly standing.

“Spying on me, are you?” She asked, anger all over her face.

“No! No! I was shopping, for Elain, and I happened to walk by!” Azriel was gesturing wildly, not wanting you to think he was following you. “I saw you and then I saw the children and I was interested. You were, nice to them.” He cursed the words as they came out of his mouth, sounding just as sorry as one could imagine.

She scoffed. “Why would I not be? They’re kids.” Her words were sharp and Azriel felt embarrassment creep up his neck.

“Well, you’re not really nice to anyone.” He bit out, temper rising as she laughed.

“You don’t know anything about me.” She said, looking at him curiously.

“Oh? Is that so?” Azriel felt the words coming out before he could stop them, all the things he had wanted to say for years. “Maybe that’s because you don’t let anyone get close to you. I tried to be your friend in the beginning, just for you to be cold and nasty. You are always cold and nasty. I’ve noticed you slowly losing the friends you have made, slinking off into the shadows. Do you ever stop to think that maybe it’s because you’re a cold-hearted bitch?”

She looked like he had slapped her.

“W-what?” She stumbled out, eyes wide.

Now it was Azriels turn to scoff. “Don’t pretend to be innocent now. You rarely speak to anyone except for Rhys, and when you do it’s usually to tell them to leave you alone! Even when I was trying to train you, you lashed out at me for just trying to help. You have always acted like I disgust you, always glaring at my hands. Do they really upset you so much that you have to act like i’m the worst thing you’ve ever encountered? That you have to look at me like that and flinch when I touch you? I tried to be nice to you, just for you to react like that.” He was breathing heavy, all the hurt coming to the surface.

He watched her eyes flash and then suddenly, she was yelling at him. “How dare you? You have no idea what you are talking about. Are you so self centered that you truly believe everything I do is about you? Do you ever stop for one second to think that maybe, just maybe, I have my own shit to deal with?” Her cheeks were colored red, her hands clenching into fists.

Azriel rolled his eyes. “We all have our own shit going on. It doesn’t mean we take all of our miserable feelings out on everyone else!”

“I don’t! I just don’t have any interest in getting close with you. Not everyone has to want to lick the ground you walk on, Shadowsinger.” She spat out the last word like it was dirt in her mouth.

“Why not? What have I ever done that makes you hate me so? What has any of us done? The only one of us you would talk to for years was Rhysand. Did you love him? Are you bitter now that he has a mate and no one will ever be interested in you?” Azriel knew that was a low blow, but his anger overrode him common sense.

“What are you talking about? The relationship between me and Rhysand is none of your business. For a spymaster, you’re truly horrible at reading a situation.” She was angry, angrier than she had been in decades.

Azriel didn’t care. “No one here likes you. They’ve all moved on from their short friendships with you. Even your precious Rhys has found someone else to occupy his time with. Why do you stay here? You have no one.” He felt the pain in his chest at the expression on her face.

She blinked quickly, fighting tears. “You are the cruel one, Azriel.” She turned and ran from the room, leaving him in the aftermath of their fight.

It was the first time she had said his name.

He felt it snap in his chest, the tug to follow you. He could barely react, the shock of it keeping him rooted to the spot. No, he thought. No. Not her. It wasn’t supposed to be her.

The mating bond didn’t care for his concerns.

***

Please let me know how you feel!! Honestly Pt. 2 should be out tonight or tomorrow, i’m pretty far into it. I’m thinking this will be a 3-4 part mini series!!!

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel #rhysand #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #cold hearts

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sarahs-library · 4 months

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hi! i hope your having a good day 😊 you said you were taking requests so i have one if you dont mind! could you do something were az and reader are interrupted after they accept the bond by someone, maybe elain and she's upset and it causes issues? thanks!

Hey,

This is my first request so please be gentle with me if it isn't exactly what you were looking for. Also I'm sorry this sat in my inbox for so long, I wasn't sure exactly how to go about writing this one; I eventually decided on making it as dramatic as possible. 😅 So in true form, this is written mostly from our drama king Rhys' POV but there is some Reader POV fluff at the end. I wasn't sure where you stood with smut, so I've kept it relatively open to interpretation at the end.

Get Out!

Maybe being so secretive about your relationship with Azriel wasn't the best idea after all.

Word count: 5,090

Rhys POV

Rhys adjusted his grip on the blade in his hand as it clashed with Cassian's, the keen of metal against metal filled the training room. Sweat burned his eyes as he heaved air into his lungs. Cassian's grin bordered on feral as they separated, circling each other. Rhys hadn't realised how long it had been since he'd trained properly, but he could feel it in the ache of his muscles.

"Fatherhood making you soft, Rhys?"

Rhys rolled his eyes, hoping that Cassian didn't notice he couldn't muster more of a response between gasped breaths and fending off his attacks. They'd been at it for hours. Cassian was right, in between High Lord duties and trying to spend every possible moment with his son, resolute on not missing a single milestone, Rhys had certainly neglected his training regime. And now his brother was making him pay for it.

A blade whistled dangerously close to his face. Rhys managed to bring his own up in time to stop the blow as the force of it reverberated down his arm. He ducked out of Cassian's reach, staying firmly on the defensive while his brother eyed him with mirth. Cassian made a show of surveying Rhys slowly as he began to advance again, eyes trailing down his body and settling for a moment on the tight muscles of his abdomen. He clucked his tongue in disapproval.

"Just because Feyre loves you, doesn't mean you can let yourself go so much." Rhys dodged as Cassian swung towards his side, levelling him with a strike of his own which was blocked with ease. Cassian smirked at him as their blades locked, Rhys bared his teeth in a snarl as he forced Cassian's blade back.

A gentle caress against the fortress of his mental shields stole his attention away from his brother for a moment. Cassian smacked the flat face of his sword against Rhys' thigh, a strike that would likely leave a nasty bruise. Rhys opened the antechamber in his mind, built like a house of worship over the foundations of his mating bond with Feyre. He managed to send a small, gentle caress in return before he was drawn back to avoiding Cassian's blade.

Rhys, where are you? There was an undercurrent of worry flowing down the bond to him. It took his attention immediately. He signalled to Cassian, lowering his blade and taking a deep breath.

Training with Cass at the House. What's wrong? He was already moving as he answered, racking the blunted practice sword and retrieving his shirt from where it had been tossed earlier in the session. Cassian mimicked his movements before heading to the pitcher of water to pour two glasses.

It's Elain, something's happened.

What?

She's inconsolable. She says...that Y/N attacked her. Surprise sparked in Rhys.

Are you sure? It didn't make any sense. You were so gentle. A junior healer under Madja's tutelage, brought in to assist with Feyre's pregnancy. You'd been visiting the River House regularly to do milestone checks on Nyx. During that time, both he and Feyre had struck up a friendship with you. He'd never seen you so much as raise your voice.

It's all she's said to us, Nesta is furious. Rhys' eyes drifted to where Cassian stood, gulping down his glass of water.

"We're needed at the River House."

Cassian raised a brow at the seriousness of the tone as he moved across the training room towards his brother.

"What happened?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. But we should get back before Nesta goes on the warpath." Cassian considered for a moment before taking to the skies, seemingly spurred by whatever he felt down his mating bond. Rhys launched himself after his brother before sending a reassuring message to his own mate.

We're on our way.

Elain sat nestled next to Feyre on the sofa. She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief as her sister rubbed soothing circles on her back. Nesta was pacing in front of the fireplace, the swish of her dress and hard clack of her heels against the hardwood felt too loud in the otherwise silent room. Rhys stood for a moment in the doorway, assessing the scene in front of him as Cassian passed him to join Nesta. She ignored him, continuing to pace.

Rhys approached his mate and Elain, settling himself on the arm of the sofa at Feyre's side. He casts an assessing gaze over the middle Archeron sister. Her other arm, the one not wiping at her face, was laid in her lap as Feyre held a compress of ice over the wrist.

Rhys let out a low sigh, running his hands through his hair as he worked through possible avenues of action. He reopened his mental connection with Feyre.

Has she said anything else? Feyre turned away from her sister where she sat staring into space.

No, Madja's on her way though. It's strange, she said she hasn't seen Y/N in days, she was supposed to be visiting her family in the Day Court. None of this makes any sense, why would Y/N do this?

Unease sat heavily in Rhys' stomach. Could something have happened to you on your travels? He thought of Braillyn and the manipulation the crown had afforded her over the minds of others. The Dread Trove was safe, was this a different horror Koschei was responsible for? Was he trying to target his family through you? It would make sense, you visited the River House regularly and both he and Feyre had left Nyx unattended in your care on more than one occasion.

He felt Madja's approach as she let herself in, inclining her head towards himself and Feyre where they sat. She settled herself on Elain's other side, reaching for her arm. Feyre moved her hand and the compress away, revealing a slight bruising and swelling on the skin underneath.

"We need to find her, she can't just attack Elain like this." Nesta's voice cut sharp as a blade across the room, Elain's tears starting fresh at her words. Madja lifted her gaze from where she was assessing Elain's wrist, tilting her hand in gentle exercises to assess the range of movement.

"Perhaps you can continue this discussion outside?" Rhys caught the pointed look the healer gave him. He nodded, standing and placing his hand on the small of Feyre's back as she did the same. Nesta watched them for a moment before stomping towards the door; disappearing into the foyer.

Feyre shot him a look, grey-blue eyes filled with worry as they moved to follow her out. Nesta continued to pace outside the room as they shut the door, the low sound of Madja's soothing voice travelling through the wood.

"We have to do something."

"Nesta, we shouldn't do anything rash." Feyre's voice was firm as she addressed her, switching smoothly from comforting sister to High Lady of the Night Court. "Not until we have more information."

"Well she," Nesta gestured towards the closed door and her distressed sister, "isn't saying anything. So I say we find Y/N and get her to tell us what happened."

Rhys was inclined to agree, but held some reservations as to what exactly Nesta deemed an appropriate method of finding out information when it pertained to the middle Archeron sister.

"Feyre's right, we shouldn't be hasty about this." He met Nesta's eyes, filled with burning silver fire. "You're too close to this," he continued. "Why don't you go back to the House, blow off some steam and we'll discuss this later when we know the full story." Cassian moved closer to Nesta's side, a comforting hand on her arm as she stared Rhys down. He watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then another. Rhys recognised the mind-stilling technique she favoured to keep her grounded.

Her eyes were still bright with anger when she opened them again, but she seemed calmer than she had been before. She gave a small nod. Cassian tucked her under an arm as they made their way to the front door.

"We'll send for you when we know something." Cassian nodded to Rhys over his shoulder but Nesta didn't turn back to look at either of them. The door closed with a thud behind them.

Feyre looked at where her sister and brother-in-law stood a moment before. She turned, making her way down the hall Rhys study.

"What do you think we should do?"

"I'll search the city for her, we could send a note? Ask her to meet us both?" Feyre nodded in agreement.

"We should make contact with Az." Rhys considered, reluctant to disturb his brother when he'd asked for a rare week off to visit his mother in Illyria. The request had been sudden and abrupt. Az had sent word close to midnight a few days prior. He hadn't written much, other than he needed some time away from his duties and that he'd reach out to Rhys later on in the week. He had been concerned at the out of character behaviour, apprehensive that something serious must have happened. Azriel had evaded requests for more information; saying that he'd brief Rhys on his return.

"When we know more," he paused with Feyre on the threshold of the study. "I don't want to call him back when it may turn out to be nothing serious."

Feyre hummed in agreement.

"I just...I don't understand, why would she do something like this? We gave her access to our son, Rhys. She didn't seem..." Feyre trailed off. Before she could continue the sound of a throat clearing came from the kitchen door. They turned in tandem, both sets of eyes fixed on the twins that appeared out of the shadows there.

"We...We think this may be our fault." Nuala's voice was quiet as she spoke for both of them, hands clasped together tightly as they stood before their High Lord and Lady.

"How could this possibly be your fault?" Feyre didn't hide the surprise in her tone. Their dark eyes were unreadable but Rhys didn't miss the glance they both gave towards the closed door where Elain still sat with Madja.

He opened the door to the office, gesturing in invitation to the twins to follow Feyre and him in.

Rhys sat in the high-backed chair behind the desk, Feyre perched on his lap as they listened to Nuala and Cerridwen's tale.

"Azriel instructed us not to tell anyone where he was when he sent word. She saw us putting together a basket, asked us who it was for. We didn't see any harm in telling her we were making it for him," Cerridwen's face was grave as she spoke. "Elain wanted to help, so we baked the bread together. She went to the garden after that, and Nuala left to deliver it."

"I know she didn't follow," Nuala cut in, her voice shaking. "I would have noticed if she had."

"Perhaps she saw where you went in one of her visions?" Feyre supplied. She bestowed her a small comforting smile, Rhys could feel her sympathy for the twins through the bond. They cared about Elain; even without his daemati powers you could read the guilt they shared.

"But it was here? In Velaris?" Rhys asked. Nuala looked at her twin, a silent conversation happening between them, before she nodded her head. Rhys' stomach turned to lead. Azriel had lied to him about where he was. Rhys knew that Azriel had his secrets, maybe more than anyone else in the Inner Circle. But he'd never known him to be overtly dishonest, not with his family.

"What happened after that?" Feyre's voice was gentle as she pushed for more information.

None of this makes any sense.

I know. Feyre squeezed his hand, the one that she had clasped between both of her own beneath the desk, as she sent reassuring waves down the bond.

"We were both preparing lunch after that. We didn't see her again, until you did." Feyre had shown him the memory as he'd flown towards the house. Elain bursting through the front door, arm clutched to her chest and tears streaming down her face. She hadn't said anything as Nesta had taken her into her arms, demanding to know what had happened.

"Would it be possible that Elain met Y/N on the way to...where Azriel is?" Feyre addressed the question to the room but it was Cerridwen that answered her.

"I don't think so, my lady. It's...out of the way, you wouldn't stumble upon it by accident." Rhys didn't miss the look Nuala sent her, dark eyes on fire. Cerridwen sunk back into her chair, realising that perhaps she'd said too much. Rhys pressed though, he couldn't leave it.

"So that would mean that either Y/N followed Elain from the house on purpose or she was there? With Azriel?"He suspected it was the latter, and the twins certainly knew more about it than they were willing to share. They both looked down, pointedly avoiding Rhys' gaze.

"We promised, my lord."

"We could do it together if you want?" Feyre's hand toyed at his neck, tracing the Illyrian tattoos etched into the skin. They'd dismissed Nuala and Cerridwen back to their duties while they discussed the next step to take. They had both agreed that reaching out to Azriel was the best course of action, to follow the lead of his potential involvement before they took any further steps concerning you.

Rhys was torn. He wanted Feyre to be involved, but it felt too personal. Azriel hadn't lied to her. But he had to him, his brother, his High Lord. Azriel, whom he had always trusted. Feyre would moderate his temper, if the need arose, but a dark volatile part of him didn't want that.

A quiet knock sounded on the door. Feyre called out for Madja to enter, already sensing her standing on the other side. Her smile was reassuring as she moved to stand in front of them at the desk.

"A nasty sprain, but no broken bones." Some of the tension seemed to leave Feyre's shoulders as she let out a relieved sigh. "I've recommended she rest it, keep it elevated," Madja continued, "it should be back to normal within a few days."

"Thank you Madja, we appreciate you coming out of you way." Feyre's tone was warm as she spoke to the elderly fae.

"It's my pleasure, my lady."

"Did Elain say anything to you? About what happened?"

Madja frowned, before shaking her head. "Nothing that made much sense. She mentioned a door and being pushed, she didn't say any more than that." Madja took a step closer to the desk, worrying the fabric of the apron she wore between her fingers.

"If I may..." She paused, waiting for further invitation to speak. Rhys gestured with a hand for her to continue.

"I've known Y/N since she was a girl," Madja's voice wavered as she spoke, in all the years Rhys had known her he'd never seen her close to tears before. "She wouldn't do something like this it's not in her nature," Madja paused before quickly adding, "not to discredit your sister, High Lady." Rhys watched Feyre as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she listened to the healer.

"This situation is highly unusual, Madja. We need to speak to the parties involved, gather more information." Rhys speech was clinical, playing High Lord rather than concerned brother-in-law.

"I'll take my leave then."

I should see to Elain. Feyre slipped off his lap with a parting brush of her lips against his cheek before following Madja out of the room. Rhys rested his elbows on the desk in front of him and lowered his head into his hands.

After taking a few minutes to collect himself Rhys began using his power to comb through the city, brushing past the minds of his citizens as they went about their daily lives. It took longer than he thought, identifying the distinct signature of his brother, as recognisable to him as his own after 500 years. Cloistered on the outskirts of the city, the surrounding land reserved for farming crops with very few residences. He felt another presence there, one less familiar to him, yours.

Rhys brushed a talon against Azriel's mental shields, a teeming cluster of darkness not unlike the shadows he wielded, and waited. The tick of the clock as the seconds passed by had Rhys on edge, he was considering pushing again, this time more firmly, when the shadows created a small opening just big enough for him to slip through.

Rhys didn't bother with a greeting. His mental voice was harsh, more than he meant it to be, as it reverberated around the dark antechamber.

You have ten seconds to explain why you are not in Illyria, and why my mate is consoling her injured sister before I come and find you, and we have this conversation in person. Conversation was a very polite term to use for what would inevitably become a battle of wills, and potentially blades, between the High Lord and his Spymaster.

Don't you fucking dare, Rhys. Azriel's voice was ice. The hostile rage that bubbled underneath shook Rhys out of his own for a moment. It was like its own living thing, driven by base instincts to defend against a threat at all costs. The force of it almost pushed him out. Rhys bridled his own surprise and rage down.

Okay, Rhys' voice was soothing, carried on a night-kissed wind. I won't do that Az, but you need to talk to me.

The storm of Azriel's emotions seemed to calm a little, Rhys could feel the effort he was putting in, wrestling for control that was usually so militant. He waited for his brother to speak for a few moments before continuing.

Why don't you start with where you are, and why Nuala and Cerridwen are involved?

He thought that Azriel was going to hold fast in his reticence. Instead his voice, missing some of the frigid quality it had before, answered after a few beats.

I own a property on the outskirts of the city, I've been here since I sent word asking for leave. Azriel paused before continuing, Nuala and Cerridwen were just doing what I asked, they don't need to be a part of this. Rhys should have expected this. Azriel always knew how to toe the line between answering what was asked without giving any substantial information.

And what is it that you asked them to do for you? Because they wouldn't tell us, because of some promise they made to you.

They delivered some supplies to me.

Supplies?

Food and other basic necessities.

And is there a reason you couldn't retrieve these for yourself? Why you're sequestered away in some property we're unaware of with one of our healers? Rhys tried to press against the walls of Azriel's mind to see what else he could feel or sense but it yielded nothing. Are you injured Az? Worry bloomed. As out of character as it was for Azriel to lie to his family, if it was because he was injured and didn't want any of them to know, to worry, Rhys could rationalise that.

No. Rhys could feel Azriel's attention, drawn away to whatever was going in outside his mind, still only half maintaining their communication. Is Elain okay?

Are you talking to Y/N? I know she's there with you.

Azriel hesitated before answering. Yes.

Elain is saying that Y/N attacked her, is that true? Did you see what happened?

I did, but it was an accident Rhys. She didn't mean to.

She says she was pushed. I'm not sure how that can be considered an accident, Azriel. Rhys tried to keep a handle on his agitation, but this conversation was going nowhere quickly. Why don't you show me what happened, then we can put this whole thing to bed.

A tidal wave rose, angry and biting as it chased Rhys towards the gap in the barrier he entered from. Rhys retreated back from it, shocked by it's sudden appearance.

No. Azriel's snarled response rebounded around his head.

Fine, I'll take it up with Y/N if this is how you're going to act.

Wait, don't. The emotion receded as quickly as it came, leaving Rhys toeing the edge of the empty chamber. Leave her out of this Rhys, it's my fault.

Oh? She's assaulted a member of our Court, Azriel.

She's my mate, Rhys. Rhys thought for a moment that he hadn't heard him correctly. But it made sense, the instinctual frenzy of emotion that seemed eager to slip his brother's control. We didn't tell you in the beginning, we wanted to get to know each other without any added...pressure.

Az, this is wonderful news...unexpected but wonderful. But we wouldn't have pressured you, either of you, into anything.

I know, I just...I was being selfish, Rhys. And we were so caught up in each other. I said I'd talk to you when I got back, I was going to tell you then. Rhys didn't hide the happiness he felt, letting his brother feel it freely, It was a bit spur of the moment, deciding to accept the bond. That's why I asked Nuala and Cerridwen for help, they knew where we were.

I'm happy for you, Az. Rhys allowed himself to bask for a moment in the joy that he could feel from his brother as he spoke about you. A part of him wanted to leave then, to retreat from his brother's mind and leave him to enjoy this special, if volatile time, as a newly mated male. But there was still a piece of this puzzle missing. What happened with Elain?

It is my fault Rhys, I should have sensed her coming. But we were preoccupied. Azriel's discomfort put Rhys own teeth on edge as he continued. We were in the living room and Elain opened the door, Y/N panicked and slammed it with gust of wind.

Panicked?

We were...indisposed.

You're joking, Rhys barely managed to choke the words out as he tried to contain his laughter.

Its not funny, Rhysand. He could almost see his brother grinding his teeth in agitation. By the time we made ourselves decent, Elain had already left. I was going to come to the house to see if she was okay, but Y/N is really upset that she may have hurt her. Rhys understood what he didn't say, that he couldn't leave his mate like that.

Tell her it's just a sprain, nothing serious.

That's a relief. If we're done here- Rhy's didn't allow Azriel to finish, already taking his leave.

Rhys watched the sun set set over the Sidra as he ruminated on the strange events the day had taken, and how he was going to defuse the tension from this morning before Azriel returned, likely with Y/N in tow.

Your POV

Steam curled into the air from the water of the bath. The heat soothed the ache in your muscles, ones that you didn't even know you had were making their displeasure known, as you adjusted your position to lean back against Azriel. His arm slipped around your middle, pulling you flush against his chest as scarred fingers traced circles over your midriff. You sighed in contentment as Azriel continued his ministrations, feeling his smile against the skin of you neck. He brushed the sensitive skin with a delicate kiss. Neither of you spoke as you sat there, enjoying the comfortable silence and basking in the feeling of the new golden thread that tied you together.

Azriel reached to the edge of the tub where the basket of toiletries lay, filled with your favourite scents curtesy of the shadow wraith twins, and grabbed a soft cloth and a bar of sweet smelling soap. You groaned as he began to gently massage the lather on the cloth into the skin of arms and shoulders, adjusting slightly to give him better access. You turned your head, resting it in the cradle of Azriel's shoulder, looking up at him through your lashes.

Over the few months that you'd known him, you'd come to admire his stoic beauty. Rich hazel eyes framed by thick lashes and dark brows. His sharp features and full lips that erupted butterflies in your stomach every time he gifted you with an alluring smile or tantalising smirk. As your relationship had progressed he'd become more open is displaying his emotions with you, less prone to cloaking himself in his shadows. But you'd never in that time seen such open contentment displayed on his features.

You watched as his eyes tracked the path his hand drew with the cloth against your body. You brought a hand out of the warm cocoon of the water to trace the map of markings across his shoulders, following the trail up his neck with tender kisses. Azriel's chest rumbled his approval. The flare of his wings sent ripples across the surface of the bath as you let a soft breath out against the delicate shell of his ear.

"It appears my little mate is rather insatiable." Azriel sighed, feigning exasperation as he moved the cloth lower, down off your shoulders to brush the top of your breasts.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." The hand on his shoulder reached to brush a single fingertip against the sensitive membrane of a wing as you smirked into his neck.

"Careful." Azriel growled, taking the circles he was tracing on your midriff dangerously lower. Even though the past few days had been filled with nothing but Azriel, the feel of his skin against yours, the taste of him on your tongue, there was a burning pit of desire that demanded more. You felt as though you could live a thousand more years and never tire of the feeling of him holding you in his arms. The thought of leaving the little bubble of bliss you'd created here was like a cold water shock. Thinking of the potential repercussions you'd face of what happened earlier left the sting of bile in the back of your mouth.

Azriel's hands stilled as he sensed the shift in your mood. You buried your face into his neck, closing your eyes and letting his scent calm your racing heart. Azriel abandoned the cloth to place his hand on the back of you head, carting his fingers through your hair. He made a low soothing noise.

"It's okay," he continued to massage his fingers against your scalp as he spoke. "It was an accident, no one is going to blame you."

"Elain will, she probably hates me." Your voice broke as you tried to hold back the guilt that had been plaguing you, such a start contrast to the joy and ravenous hunger.

"She'll understand. The others will too, Rhys actually found it very amusing."

"Oh cauldron boil me." You could imagine it now, the smirking good natured jibes from the high-lord and the likely even less subtle innuendos his general would deal out to you.

"Come on," the fingers dancing through your hair stopped. "Look at me." Part of you wanted to continue to hide as the anxiety and embarrassment coiled inside of you, but as Azriel moved to cup your cheek you lifted your face away to look at him. His eyes were soft as he took in your face, so close that you could see flecks of green and gold constellating around the iris. His thumb rubbed gently against you cheek.

"I just want to stay here for the rest of our lives." Azriel smiled gently and hummed his agreement, leaning forward to press his lips against the skin of your forehead.

"Unfortunately, I think we'll be missed." He considered for a moment before adding. "And I wouldn't put it past Cassian to break down the door and drag me back to civilised society." You loosed a small smile at his attempt to make light of the situation, but it still did nothing to quell the apprehension and doubts.

You'd so desperately wanted to make a good impression. It had all been planned out. After the week was done; once you and Azriel had returned to your normal lives, he would have announced the mating bond to his family. You'd planned to host a dinner, let them get to know you outside your capacity as a healer. Hoped to create the foundations for meaningful relationships. Instead, you'd ruined it before you'd even started, injuring the High Lady's sister and forcing Azriel to do damage control on your behalf.

"I'm just...I'm sorry Az, I know how important your family is to you. I can't believe I've screwed this up."

"They are important to me." He agreed, thumb stroking gently against your face. "But so are you. I've waited centuries to find you, and you're so much more than I dreamed you'd be." Tears welled in your eyes at his declaration. "I love you, and I know my family will love you too." You reached up to capture his lips in a delicate kiss, despite the gravity of the situation feeling his lips quirk into a smile against your own made your heart sing. You parted, and he began to trail kisses across your cheek.

"Rhys and Feyre already like you, they trust you with Nyx. Everyone else will fall victim to your charming smile and witty sense of humour, I'm sure." He murmured in your ear as he traced his nose against the soft skin of your neck.

"We'll face them together when the time comes." He whispered the promise into your skin as he paved a line of tender kisses to a particularly sensitive spot he'd discovered in the last few days, taking extra care to pay it the most attention.

You sighed and arched your back, allowing him greater access to your neck and chest. Azriel's affirmations had quelled the storm within you, leaving heat and hunger in the wake of his lips.

"But, we've got a few days before anyone is expecting us back. And I have plans for you." Azriel's voice turned husky at the end, the heady promise made your toes curl as you pressed yourself closer against him.

"Oh?" You breathed as his lips began to chart a course across your chest, skimming across the tops of your breasts. You felt more than heard as he hummed an affirmation against the delicate skin. "And what would those plans be?"

Azriel's wings flared as your hand found his hair, winding the strands between your fingers. He stopped lathing delicate kisses against your skin to look up at you through dark lashes, eyes light and mischievous. His grin was positively wicked, canines flashing in the light.

"Why don't I show you."

#azriel x reader #azriel x female!reader #azriel x oc #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #acotar #acotar series #acotar fanfiction

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starsxblazing · 3 months

Note

Im sitting in the dentist office and my brain just thought of an azriel x reader fic / alternate universe where he and Elain have a baby or child and reader is the nanny. Its azriels pov mostly as he falls for reader while elain is still debating about lucien. And reader well shes totally oblivious of azriels attraction towards her.

Oblivious Attraction

You sat in front of your vanity while debating on how exactly you should present yourself. It felt as if the bar was set far too high for you to reach but you never turned down a challenge. There were so many different options but decided on a business casual outfit. You decided on a cobalt blue collared shirt paired black slacks and slip ons. As you began your work to form the loose curls, you ran through every possible word or conversation.

Your resume with great references made you a top choice for employment. Children were your passion and being a nanny was a perfect job for you. The hours were long but it never mattered to you even though it left hardly no time for a social life. That wasn’t a big issue either in your opinion because you felt fulfilled in life.

The drive through the nice neighborhood had you enamored with the beautiful homes with matching or complimentary to the others. It was nicer than you had originally thought and it made it a bit intimidating.

You took a deep breath as you parked your car, muttering prayers to whatever force was above to be on your side.

Azriel watched as Elain flitted around the kitchen to get the remnants of breakfast cleaned up before leaving. An interview with yet another possible nanny would be happening within the next ten minutes and he was ready to get it over with. All three candidates had great resumes as they required but the first two hadn’t felt right in their opinion

It was important to the both of them to have the perfect person to care for their daughter while they worked so having someone that they felt that they could trust was imperative. His work hours were long and whereas the mother of his child’s was shorter, she usually spent her time elsewhere when she got off. It grated a nerve that the female was absent from the home so often but he had stopped complaining.

What was supposed to be a one night stand had turned into weekly occurrences that ended up with her pregnant. For that simple fact alone, he had moved her into his home in hopes that something more would form other than physical attraction. It hadn’t gone as he had hoped but they comfortably coexisted for the sake of their two year old.

He knew that her attention was torn between him and another male, a fact that he had only learned by accidental chance. Even though it hurt a piece of his heart, he always felt as if he couldn’t fault her for it. She deserved more, especially when he wasn’t able to give her the time and effort that she obviously needed.

A knock on the door had him pushing the thought of Elain and Lucien out of his mind, feeling hopeful that their last contestant would be the one. They truly did need the help and time was of the essence. He was shocked when he opened the door, the beauty of you taking his breath away. Their last two prospects had been older but he wasn’t expecting a beautiful female around his age to be standing on his threshold.

“Oh, you’re early!” Elain exclaimed happily with Sophie following close behind. “Hello!”

Azriel glanced at the clock and you were five minutes early. Confidence emitted from every fiber of you, especially when Sophie looked up at you with a smile. His own hope began to cement when the girl’s smile was returned with a gentle one that set the room at ease.

Elain guided you to the couch in the living room where they held their previous interviews. His daughter climbed up beside you, talking the best that she could at her young age. It was something that Sophie hadn’t done with the previous two so Elain and himself waited patiently while watching you engage with her.

“We’re so glad to have you here,” Elain started with a smile. “She seems to like you already.”

“She’s a delight,” you laughed, gazing at the girl momentarily with a tender smile on your face.

“Your resume is impeccable.” He gauged your reaction but your confident expression as you held his gaze and found nothing negative about you. “It is rare to find someone so young with extensive experience and references.”

“I’ve always loved children.” Your voice didn’t shake and you didn’t cower under both of their watchful gazes. “I started babysitting at sixteen and I found my first job as a nanny at eighteen once I graduated.”

“You have extensive education.” Elain scanned through the classes that you had completed in college. “Early childhood education, special needs education, First Aid and CPR certifications, and multiple language classes. You were also in the top five of all of them.”

“All of said classes coincide with your first nanny job.”

He had memorized your entire career timeline that also paired with your education. You still didn’t shrink from the question and he noted the hint of pride in your eyes. If what he was assuming was true, you had every right to feel that way about yourself.

“With my first official nanny job, I took classes online and then night classes for the ones that required me to be physically present.”

“Did that affect your job?” Elain countered, a small frown pulling at her lips.

“Not at all.” You shook your head as if in disbelief that you would be questioned about it. “I loved the two children that I was caring for and it was completely my pleasure to have every moment with them.”

Your answer was so genuine that he knew that calling the parents wouldn’t be needed. He also didn’t need to question your love and passion. Not when his daughter placed herself in your lap in contentment. The air around them was so light and it was a feeling that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Do you have any concerns with the cameras within our home?” He watched your reaction carefully to see how you would react. “Some have had concerns about them.”

“Why would I be bothered by that?” you asked, your brows furrowing. “I don’t see why it would ever be a problem for a parent to not be concerned enough about their child’s welfare to check in when a stranger is keeping them.”

To him, that was answer enough for him. Even as Elain continued to ask you questions, he kept his eyes on you with a hint of adoration filling him at the sight of you and his daughter.

Once the interview was over, you spent the rest of the day bonding with Sophie. Elain had left shortly after the interview had wrapped up and you were left alone with Azriel. You knew that he was watching you carefully and you didn’t mind because you would have done the same thing.

“We never did go over all of the requirements for my job,” you started as you sat beside him at the table while Sophie ate her lunch. “I want to be sure that everyone is happy with the work that I do.”

“Well, she will be starting school soon so it would be beneficial to be sure that she is on track with the other children,” he replied thoughtfully. “Along with housework and errands that we are unable to do ourselves when needed.”

“That’s more than reasonable but with the agreed upon salary, I was expecting more,” you mused, more to yourself than him.

“Believe me when I say that with Sophie alone, you will have your hands full,” he chuckled, his hazel eyes shining with amusement.

“I wholeheartedly look forward to it.”

You grinned at him and he only gave a small smile in return. The day was relatively simple and you were relieved that he didn’t constantly hover. He would come into his daughter’s room every so often to see how the both of you were getting along and seemed content.

By the time that you got home, you were exhausted enough that you didn’t bother with anything other than falling into bed.

Azriel had taken the previous day off of work simply to see how you were with his daughter. He was confident that they made the right decision and his daughter listened to you better than she did her own parents most of the time. You appeared a bit hesitant to leave when it was Sophie’s bedtime but left without a fuss.

Two hours had passed after his daughter had been in bed when Elain finally came home. A hint of cologne was on her but he said nothing as usual. He wished that she would make up her mind if she wanted to truly be with him instead of them being in this inbetween state in their relationship. The fact that the mother of his child was still entertaining her ex had once been somewhat of a sore spot that was now numb.

A month passed without any issues with you and Sophie was so smitten to the point that she hardly asked about why her mother always got home so late. He was always so exhausted when he came home but you never failed to have a hot meal waiting for him. It was something that he had never had and your eyes lit up every time that he thanked you. A spot in him warmed every single time that he saw that beautiful smile on your face just as it did seeing you interact with his daughter.

The slow feeling of longing began to form around that time and he got off of work as early as possible whenever he could just to be around you more. You always greeted him warmly in a way that he hadn’t felt from Elain since the first month of their ‘relationship’, leaving him craving more and more each day.

He stopped caring about what hour that Elain came home, enjoying your company more than he ever had hers. Small touches were exchanged every so often, a small brush of his arm against yours in passing or a gentle brush of his fingers over yours. No matter the subtle signs that he tried to give, you seemed completely oblivious.

“How was your day?” you asked as the three of you ate the food that you had prepared that afternoon.

“A bit stressful as usual,” he admitted, adoring the small frown that formed due to the fact that you cared about his well being. “But overall, it went well.”

“I much prefer dealing with children,” you laughed, glancing at Sophie who was focused on eating. “Corporate jobs just don’t sound appealing.”

“They aren’t,” he agreed before nodding to his daughter “It gives her the life that she deserves.”

You hummed in agreement, the sound running through him and causing a small smile on his face that you missed.

You were content with your job and utterly happy that you could do what you loved. Azriel was great company but a spot in you hurt for him when you noticed that he wasn’t used to having food already made for him. You rarely saw Elain and you wondered if she had taken longer hours with her job. The weekends were the only time that all three of you had any time off so you assumed that the mother made up for it then.

It didn’t help though that you were bored during those two days. You were so used to getting up early and arriving at their home at six each morning. By the time that you had spent six months with them, you were still with Azriel and was present to put Sophie to bed yourself while her father caught up on extra work. You couldn’t lie that you loved it because the girl was the best child that you had ever had the pleasure of working with.

“Running late this morning?” she asked Azriel when he opened the door on a Friday morning.

“Just a bit,” he admitted, his voice still laced with sleep while Sophie was crying upstairs.

“Go ahead and get ready.”

You didn’t wait for a response before running towards the girl’s room.

Azriel had stayed up longer than he usually did the night before and he barely had time to throw on his business suit, the tie tied haphazardly around his neck. It had taken his mind a moment to realize why there was a knock on his door so early in the morning. Through his sleep filled brain, the sight of you and then your worried expression over his appearance sent his heart racing. Love was beginning to bloom within him for you but he was never sure if he should express it.

He did as you told him to do and by the time that he was fully ready, Elain was gone to her own job and you had Sophie at the table eating breakfast. It always amazed him how easily you were able to calm his daughter even though Elain and himself always had trouble doing so.

“Do you have time for me to finish making you a proper breakfast?” you asked, looking him up and down.

“No.” He did the same to you, enjoying the sight that was you before him. “I appreciate the offer.”

“Is that everything that I need to accomplish today?”

You pointed to the list that Elain had made the night before. He nodded, feeling somewhat bad that you had more to do than usual today all while doing so with a now three year old in tow. You simply nodded with a smile and he had to force himself to leave his home.

His stormy Friday workday felt as if it dragged by longer than usual. He usually watched the cameras in the home every so often just so he could see you but you were out running errands.. Not only was the normal hours of his work day long but so was the later hours that he had no choice but to stay late.

By the time that he rushed home, he found you asleep on the couch with Sophie curled up contently on your chest. It was a beautiful sight to behold and he didn’t have the heart to disturb either of you. His daughter loved you just as much as he was beginning to. He took a deep breath when his heart began to race when he gently pushed a piece of hair out of your face.

It was yet another form of the gentle touches that were exchanged between the both of you but a part of his heart hurt whenever you began to address him as a friend. He wanted so much more than that but knew that it would be inappropriate. It didn’t stop his longing but he didn’t have the opportunity to ponder long before the front door opened again.

Elain was home early for a change and the close of the door had you shooting up in a panic. Your eyes were wide as you held a still sleeping Sophie to your chest protectively. He didn’t think you had any means of protecting his daughter and yourself but it was admirable either way.

“I am so, so sor-”

“It’s alright.” He gave you a small smile even though your eyes darted between the both of them. “You have had a long day.”

“I still didn’t-”

“It really is okay,” Elain assured, picking Sophie up gently to take her to bed. “Go home and get some rest.”

You nodded and stood on slightly shaky legs before giving him an apologetic smile. He escorted you to the door as he always did and his heart picked up his pace whenever you held his eye contact. The way that you looked at him had him hopeful but he walked to the window to be sure that you got out of his line of sight safely.

He frowned when your headlights came on but instantly went out again and the sound of your car starting didn’t reach his ears. You sat in your car for five minutes in the hard downpour before you finally raced back to his front door where he was waiting for you.

“Car trouble?

“It won’t start,” you whined quietly. “I don’t know anything about cars.”

“Would you like a ride home?”

Surprise filled your face for a moment before you nodded shyly. He had to use all of his willpower to stop the laugh that wanted to leave him and used the excuse of retrieving his keys to doing so. By the time you were sitting in his passenger seat, you were both completely soaked and a pout was on your face.

“Does a little bit of rain bother you?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“Sugar melts in the rain,” you quipped and this time he wasn’t able to stop his laugh.

During the ride home, you told him about the busy day that you had while he listened intently. Mental images filled his mind with each story, the ones of you taking his daughter for ice cream being his favorite. Both of your arms were touching on the armrest and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his hand around yours. It was a strong testament to his willpower to not do so.

When he pulled up to the home that was smaller than he had imagined, you made no move to instantly jump out. He knew that you enjoyed being around him but he also knew that you were oblivious to how he felt.

“It doesn’t look like it’s going to let up,” you muttered while leaning up to look out of the windshield.

“According to the report, it’s supposed to be that way for the rest of the night.”

“Well at least I can immediately jump into the shower.”

He chuckled but when you looked at him, he realized that he had moved closer to you out of what felt like instinct. You didn’t break his gaze, even when his eyes darted to your mouth and then back to your eyes. His breath caught in his throat when there were mere inches between your mouths. Once you realized what was happening, you pulled back and jumped out of his vehicle without so much as a goodbye.

It was then that he realized that he was completely and utterly fucked.

Tag List:

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#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel acotar #acotar

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tadpolesonalgae · 6 months

Text

Can’t Bring Myself To Hate You - Part 9

Pairing: Azriel x third-oldest-Archeron-sister!reader

A/N: Giving something new a try here, absolutely terrifying

Warnings: different povs, (Smidge of angst…I think…?)

Word Count: 5,707

-Part 8- -Part 10-

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Silver eyes cut to cocoa. “Why not?”

Elain sighs, attention flicking away to the bookcases lining the walls of their home. Nesta had been the main designer, though bits and pieces are still missing—like the fireplace that will be put into the living room while they’re away, specially designed to contain the crackle and pop of logs as they burst upon the fire. Sure, she could have chosen to have a spell wrap it all up, but she enjoys having time away from magic. That small thread leading back to her old life.

“So many reasons,” she answers quietly, scanning the titles. Fatigue laces her shoulders, hands tucking into her lap, playing with the lilac fabric. “She’s just not… She’s not interested, Nesta.” The sharp eyed female sits in silence, staring blankly into the middle distance. Nails press into the arms of the cushioned chair, spine straightening. “She needs help. You heard her argument with Feyre— Has she at least spoken to you about it?”

Elain sighs again, shaking her head, leaning back into the seat. “No. And I’m not asking.”

Nesta studies Elain from across the room, the light half-circles beneath her eyes. She knows how Eris has been visiting the trio in the lower lands—how it strains on her mate, passing onto her. Part of her doesn’t want to push Elain further, noting the distance in her normally bright eyes, but she remembers her own silence. The pressure building in her head, on the cusp of shattering. What a mess she’d been.

“You’re the only one she talks to, Elain,” she says, hands lowering to her lap. “You saw how she shut us out over dinner. If anyone can revive her, it’s going to be you.”

“I know,” she snaps abruptly, eyes cracking open. Shifts in her seat, sitting upright, brining her feet up onto the cushions, tucking up neatly. Exhales heavily. “I know,” she repeats, softer this time, “but I’ve been trying, and she just doesn’t want to do anything. Pushing her won’t work, she’ll just retreat further.”

The two sit in silence, sun streaming in through the large windows, pooling in a golden square of heat upon the carpet. Outside, the roses sway in the breeze, climbing up the sides of the paprika-red bricks.

“And what about Bas?” Nesta asks, quietly.

“What about him?” She answers, still peering up at the bookcase. How many have already been read? “She’s close with him,” Nesta says, “maybe she’s said something to him.”

“How would you have felt if Amren spoke to us?” She asks pointedly, but quietly. “I’ve wanted to ask—either of them—but that’s not the right way to do this. She already keeps her distance from you. Trying to find an in through Bas would just push her further,” Elain argues. “Plus it’s an invasion of privacy,” she murmurs, an afterthought.

“Then what do you suggest,” Nesta asks, silver eyes piercing. “That we just let things continue? She already practically estranged from us.”

“She needs time,” Elain says quietly. “Just give her space. That’s all she wants at the moment.”

“That’s all we’ve been doing, and it’s not working. She hardly even comes to dinners anymore. The last time I saw her was over a months ago—a month,” Nesta mutters softly. Brows pull together, conflict marring her sharp features. “Az says she barely leaves her room up in the House.”

“But that’s where she wants to be, Nesta.”

The silver eyed female shakes her head. “I wanted to be left alone too,” she murmurs, hands tightening. “Maybe she likes being alone up there, but it’s not good. And don’t say she can manage on her own—I know you heard her argument with Feyre.” Nesta shifts in her seat, eyes lowering to the pool of sunshine on the carpet, splitting them apart. “That’s not dealing with anything. She’s just pushing it away.”

“You don’t know that for certain,” Elain says quietly, not meeting her eyes.

“I know what I heard, and I know how I felt. It’s the same thing, she’s just quieter,” Nesta responds. “She always has been.” Elain shifts again, eyes joining Nesta’s in peering at the dazzling pool of sunlight—reflecting off the carpet, illuminating the room with a warm-orange glow.

“You’re suggesting forcing her into a place of discomfort,” Elain says at last. Inhales deeply, then blows it out, raising her fingers to her brow, rubbing lightly. “I needed time and space, too,” she says, almost a whisper. “I needed to be on my own. To have my independence returned. I needed the quiet to recover from the Cauldron.” Hands drag over her face, cool tips of her digits cover her eyes, soothing the ache at the back of her mind—not enough sleep.

Shifts again, straightening, hands returning to her lap. “While you needed someone to reach out.”

“We’ve given her time, and space,” Nesta argues. “Most of the time she has the whole House to herself. None of us bother her up there; she can come and go as she wants. And nothing’s changing.” Elain remains quiet, peering distantly at the carpet, the colour of fox’s fur. Drags her attention away. “If she won’t change, something else needs to,” Nesta says, voice softening again. “It’s not right,” she breathes, “we’re sisters. We grew up together, slept in the same bed, went through the same sufferings. We shouldn’t fall apart now.” Her voice is heavy, tired and worried. Not how she wants to be the day of her departure.

“Why not now?” Elain asks quietly. Silver raises to cocoa, brow raised in question. “I think now makes sense,” she says softly. “There’s no longer a reason for us to stay together.”

“What are you talking about? We’re family, that’s reason enough,” Nesta mutters. Elain shakes her head. “Think about it,” she insists. “Growing up there was nowhere else to go. There was no choice—we’d do what had to be done to live. You were going to marry Tomas, I would marry Graysen, and Feyre would continue looking after father,” she says heavily. “Then Feyre was taken, and eventually so were we. Then came the Cauldron. Then the war hit. Then Briallyn messed things up.”

Elain sighs heavily, closing her eyes for a moment. “We were finally in a spot of peace, and now there’s” —she gestures to Nesta in her state of departure— “this to deal with.” The silver eyed female stiffens, hands shifting in her lap. “For her, there’s no reason to stick together anymore. It’s over, it’s behind us. We don’t need to keep it together.” She swallows, eyes locking with her sister’s, “she’s free to let go.”

Nesta shakes her head, gaze moving to the window. Cassian will be pestering her to get a move on soon—they were supposed to leave an hour ago, but she wanted to wait. “So you don’t want to speak with her, Bas is out of the question, and getting her away from the House is wrong,” she states flatly. “What about Az?”

Elain stiffens for a moment, inhales, then relaxes.

“That’s the worst idea yet,” she sighs, smiling despite herself. “She’s out with Mor today anyway. Let’s just see how that goes.” Nesta turns away, sharp eyes flitting to the clock atop the mantel piece. “Fine. But things need to change.”

————

She’s been leaving her room less and less, coiling tighter and tighter in recent days.

He’s certain that’s entirely to do with the agreement they had come to almost a week ago.

The scent of gardenias flourishes in her wake, touched to the handles of mugs and the hilts of cutlery. She’s even taken to wearing gloves when she deigns to seek food, scurrying through the hallways on what she must think are quiet feet. It seems even the House is reluctant to encourage her reclusive behaviour. Quiet pitter-pats softly padding down hallways, cotton socks tip-toeing along floorboards, fabric fluttering as she whispers between walls.

He’s begun noticing unusual crooks in cutlery—subtly misshapen around the necks of the metal. Often accompanied by a dull warmth, like soft skin fresh from the sun, steadily cooling in dappled shade. Plates are usually clean: washed, dried and returned to the cupboards after use. Very few things are ever out of place once she’s made her bi-daily trips to the kitchen, as if limiting her marks on the space. Keeping her distance, even in the background.

Her sleeping pattern is sufficient for the most part, only occasionally is there no light coming from beneath her door by the time midday strikes. With the days becoming shorter, candlelight frequently flickers in the hallway once night has descended, generally winking out before midnight, though that’s also subject to change.

Why does he always get tasked with chaperoning?

Azriel nods his silent thanks to the House, a hot meal delivered to his desk, pointedly placed atop the book he’s been meaning to read. A habit that had initially been formed three centuries ago—close enough, anyway. Sleep is a rare delight, a luxury he’s rightly denied, often allowing him time to complete more reports, file new orders, map out future movements.

The book had been purchased with these long nights in mind, intended to help relieve the immense stress of managing his work, now manifesting as strain across his wings and back, often finding the trapezius aching, on the verge of cramping up. Supposedly, he would find himself restless, then turn to the novel for comfort, yet it would do nothing to assuage the guilt of not working. He needs to work to protect. He doesn’t need rest as long as he eats well and keeps up with training, pushing himself to the limit in every aspect of his life.

However, despite the self-indulgent purchase, completing these tasks; writing up reports sets him at ease. So long as everything is kept in order and regularly maintained, the fewer cold nights he’ll put himself through. He works to prevent events from tipping into unstoppable motion, to prevent opposing players being caught, finding themselves at the wrong end of his blade.

Those nights are bottomless. Spirals that have no pit, that he doesn’t always manage to escape in time.

There’s one kept away from the light now, slowly dying in the darkness he was born from. A sickness creeping into bones, softening minds to outer incisions. Plying apart willpower with contemptible cruelty.

Stares across at the pile of reports, paper bowing beneath the accumulating weight. Reaches for the first one, pen in hand, poised to take note of any changes mentioned. Steadily working his way through the pile, day draining to dusk, draining to night. Shadows swish and swirl, aimlessly flickering, freely crawling and creeping across the floor in search of things to report on. Catch the faint thumps of soft feet upon floorboards, pouncing on the sound.

Skitter beneath the doorframe, lurking at the threshold as the female figure approaches on pointed toes, tip-tapping over wooden boards, gliding past. Darkness observes dutifully, grabbing at details: lidded eyes, stray hairs loose, rectangular bags hanging regretfully from her forearms—handles biting into soft flesh. Watch as she passes, skirts swishing against brown paper with each step. Not fully present.

She passes by, keeping to the other side of the hall, giving the door an unnecessarily wide berth. Shadowed gaze strains ahead, tilted down to place her steps correctly, heading for her own chambers. Continues along, darkness stalking her steps, making sure she passes before moving to return to their keeper. Observe as she comes to a stop before a chest of drawers, bathed in moonlight. Atop is a large mirror, the frame intricately detailed. The surface is littered with little things: blown-out candles, burnt down incense, stray jewellery, a few lone arrowheads—probably misplaced.

Eyes wonder between the bits and bobs, attention not fully there, forearms marginally lower with the weight of result of her gifts. He keeps them from sneaking inside, discovering the contents. Notes as her gaze lingers on the candles, picking out their reflection in her eyes, moonlight contained within clear glass. Flick up to the mirror, shoulders sloping with fatigue, lips pursing.

Nib scratches across paper as he copies a sentence down, setting the parchment to the side, shadows already having slid the next one to his desk. Still-full plate pushed closer to the centre of his desk, encouraging him to eat. Seven more, he thinks, eyeing the steep stack of reports. Seven more, then I can eat.

Arms shift, evening out the weight of the bags. Relieving pressure from indented flesh as her eyes dart away at last, finished analysing. Skate over the metalwork of the frame, flora sculpted to each corner, in bloom. Rise higher, tracing the pristine blade mounted atop the mirror. Looking how her younger sister does at scenes she likes, the urge to put them onto a canvas itching at her fingertips.

Muscle snaps tight, a flinch zapping against her skin as feet stutter in their stillness. A faint green light sparks from beneath the gloves, teeth sharply clamping together, like the clink of porcelain.

Silence settles, limbs held taut as moments pass. Counting down, plummeting. Arm shifts slightly, then handles snap, the edges of the paper singed. Heart kicks up, lips parting in a choked inhale, lids widening marginally. Bags hit the floor, thudding dully as she winces, cottoned foot stuck out to muffle the sound, teeth clasping her lower lip.

Breathing quickens, shallowing as she hastily fans off her hands, as if cooling the skin before dipping down. Carefully scoops the bags back up into her arms, shoes pulled to her chest as she scuttles away to her own room, not sparing a look back. The smell of sweetened gardenias wafts in her wake, mixing with something smokey—like singed paper.

Pen pauses its movement, nostrils flaring delicately, throat rolling.

Shadows recede from the hallway, coast now clear.

Seconds tick by, before ink is scratched into parchment, resuming his task. A few more, he promises. A few more, then I can eat.

But minutes later, a few having passed, and the next report lies upon his desk, hazel eyes scanning the concise letters. Food untouched.

————

Midday hits, and you’re fidgeting outside the door, hand raised for the handle.

It turns before you get a chance to twist it, harshly stepping back, making room as it swings open.

Silky, golden hair gleams beneath the sunshine, a dazzling smile already in place as warm eyes latch to your own. Something stabs across your chest, and you have to ease a deep breath into your lungs, feigning surprise. “Gosh,” you murmur, a little breathlessly, “you startled me.”

Soft, pillowy lips widen in an even brighter smile, cheeks rounding with laughter as apologies ring from her mouth. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here already,” she smiles, opening the door wider as she steps out. “Hardly anyone in this family is ready on time,” she mutters playfully, as if exchanging a secret. You flush at the murmured tone, the look of playfulness, as if part of an inside joke shared between the two of you. Lips part in a helpless smile, a little shaky around the edges as nervousness burns your throat.

The door clicks shut, and she’s briskly walking down the steps, arm already linked below your own. The pale yellow dress floats about her ankles, heels the colour of golden straw lacing up her feet, the tea-coloured shawl prettily wrapped over deceptively slim arms. She waltzes over the cobbles as if it’s flat ground, the points of her shoes moving as she wills, dodging the dips and cracks as she pulls your with her.

“Is there anywhere you want you visit first?” She asks, steering you down the street, taking a right at the bottom of the front lawn, the sidra peeking between earth-toned buildings. Swallow thickly, finding your voice. “Not really…” you answer—you should have planned this in advance. Why hadn’t that crossed your mind? Clear your throat as you walk together, side by side. “We’re doing this together, right?” You manage, feeling as though your feet are slamming into the cobbles, stumbling over your shoes.

Honey-warm eyes flit to you, sparking with life. “What do you mean by that?” Avert your gaze from her gleaming features, the smooth skin and the perfectly plump lips. “It’s not just… You’re going to be getting things too, right?”

Her smile doesn’t falter for a second. “If that’s what you want, then I’m sure I can find something to spend money on,” she laughs, squeezing your arm lightly in a surprisingly familiar gesture. You manage a tight smile, one you hope looks regular. You’d settle for believable. She laughs again, attention returning to swiftly scanning shop windows, flitting about each front, effortlessly making her way through the street. “We’ll tell Amren it took more convincing than that, won’t we?” She says, again in that intimately secret tone you’re having trouble understanding.

“Amren?” You ask, confused. There was no mention of Amren joining this trip over the dinner. Stomach plumes with anxiety. Would it be too obvious to feign a stomach ache? Mor doesn’t seem the least bit perturbed by your bewilderment. “We had a bet, of sorts. She bet that I’d end up coming home with at least three bags of clothing,” she elaborates. “Shouldn’t be too difficult, right?” Manage a stiff nod, scrambling to keep up with the conversation, thrown off by the brightness of the sky, how crisp the wind is, how noisy background chatter can be.

“Right,” you say in response.

“Wrong,” Mor corrects, making your skin flush with embarrassment. “I have never once managed. Any less than five and something’s gone wrong.” She smiles at you, then her attention flicks over your head. “What about that one?” She asks, nodding to a store. Turn to peer at the shop fronts—none of them containing books. Throat rolls, scanning again. “Which…one?”

Mor only laughs, already dragging you toward an open door. “Come on, it’ll be fun, I promise,” she smiles. “Besides, you said you wanted me to do some shopping too, right?” Reluctantly nod your head, because yes, you had said that.

Ease a heavy breath, stepping into the large store, filled with clothing, the aisles thankfully wide enough to accommodate multiple bodies without becoming packed.

Beginning the long day.

————

“What about this?” Mor asks pulling out pale yellow dress, a few shades darker than her own. Clear your throat, nodding, “looks nice.” Her eyes sparkle, pushing it onto your hands, “go try it on then!” You blink, peering down at the dress that’s been pushed into your gloved hands. Quickly shake your head, trying to push it back to her. “I thought you meant for yourself,” you hastily clarify.

Rosey lips lift into a charming smile, “I’ve got way too many in yellow and gold. Besides, you said it looks nice, right?”

“Well, yes…”

“Then try it on!” She encourages, nodding toward the changing rooms. But you shake your head, “it’s autumn already, I wouldn’t be able to wear something like this until next summer.”

“Perfect! We can look for a jumper— or cardigan,” she corrects, noting the cozy wooden piece you’ve wrapped yourself in. Already her eyes are scanning the racks for something complimentary.

Shake your head, “really, it’s fine. I have enough.”

Her hands still from sorting through the hangers, fingers pausing, before settling on the wooden pole. “You know you can get things that you want now, right?” She asks gently, gaze resting on the rack. Lick your lips as apprehension builds in your shoulders. “I know I can,” you reply slowly, “I just— I don’t— want anything.” She looks at you then, and you swear you catch something flicking through her gaze, but it’s gone too quickly for you to be sure.

A beat of silence passes, tension coiling your stomach, muscles contracting.

“Okay,” she says at last, softer than before. “It’s not for everyone, I suppose.” Warm-honey eyes flick down to the dress still clutched in your hands, “would you at least try it on? To see what it feels like?” Your lips purse, hesitant to do something so deeply indulgent, but… She’s compromising here. You should respect that. Throat rolls, nodding, “okay.”

The edges of her mouth soften into something that’s not quite a smile, but it’s reassuring. “You’ll look great,” she says, “I’m sure of it.”

————

A few hours have passed, food eaten, Mor trying on clothes here and there. At least ten different items from each shop, and you’re relieved. Relaxed enough that she’s managed to coax you into trying on a few other things here and there. Nothing that would even compare to some of the clothes you’ve seen the others in, but it’s a start. Nothing you would have cared even think about a few years ago. It still makes you a little sick to think of the steep gap in wealth.

What would have happened if Feyre hadn’t killed that wolf?

You’d probably still be there now, dreading the onset of icy winter, the early morning bite of cold that would seep beneath the thin blanket. The dirt and grime beneath nails, skin tacky with dried sweat, hair smelly and matted.

Swallow thickly, moving your gaze around the large shop—another clothing store. Locate Mor in the far corner, having wondered off of your own volition to peer at a pair of earrings, deep blue set in silver. Thumb the empty slots on your ear absently—it would be nice to have some jewellery. Something thin and elegant, not too chunky, but subtle and dainty. Run the pads of your fingers over the cool glass of the pendant at your neck, feeling the reassuring weight.

“See something you like?”

You nearly choke on your tongue, releasing a surprised sound as you snap your attention to the side, Mor having snuck up on silent feet to peer over your shoulder. Inhale deeply, pressing a hand over your chest, feeling the rapid flutter of your heart as you attempt to even out your breaths. Manage to shake you head, “just looking.” Her eyes catch on something, pointing through the glass case, “what about that?” Turn to see what she’s talking about. “The rings?” You ask.

Goodness, rings would be lovely. You’ve see the ones Feyre sometimes wears—silver with slices of gem encrusted along the surface. The ones Rhys sometimes wears—flat, thick bands of sterling, a single one carved into a feather, wrapped around his fifth finger. Then the ones Mor wears, shifting between different metals depending on her mood—todays she’s feeling golden.

“Look at that one,” she gushes, pointing at the band containing a small ruby, polished to perfection. A smile creeps onto your lips of its own accord. “That’s very you,” you say, a hint of a laugh surprising both of you. She nudges you playfully, “I’m more than just red and gold, you know.” Lips part in a more open smile, corners quirking as you hum back, “of course, my mistake. Too few jewels for your taste.”

Mor blinks for a moment, a beat passing, then a ringing laugh spills from her rosey lips, eyes closing for a second to conceal her surprise. Palm coming over her mouth in attempts to muffle the joyous sound. Dip your head in slight embarrassment, a shy smile playing on your mouth as she tries to recompose herself.

“What were you looking at?” She asks once she’s pulled herself back together, golden hair silkily cascading over her shawl as she runs her fingers through the soft mass, sending it spilling in new directions. You shrug, hastily averting your eyes again, head dipping away. “Nothing in particular.”

Mor hums, laughter still bright on her features. Her hand suddenly clasps your forearm, making you tense. “What about that?” She asks, sounding somewhat breathless. Raise your gaze to follow her direction, spotting the dress that’s hung at the end of a pole. “It’s perfect for you,” she says, excited, already pulling you gently toward it. Reluctantly, you follow.

You can tell why she thinks you’ll like it. In terms of practicality, it seems to be excellent, the dress made of a creamy-cocoa coloured wool, looking like it would be soft against your skin. The neckline itself is a gentle v, the curve not too steep, an elegant suggestion instead of blatant showcasing. Both the sleeves and the skirt of the dress are modest, looking like you’d be able to tuck your hands beneath the wool should you become too cold, the hem of the dress nearing the floor.

For the first time that day, you allow Mor to push the dress into your gloved hands, allow her to convince you to try it on, even to convince you it looks nice over your shape. The wool is as soft as it looks, almost sending you to sleep from the warm brush, soothing as it contains your heat, like being swaddled in feather-soft cotton. It’s a little close-fitting around your ribs and stomach, pressing comfortably but not tight—a little too revealing, but it can be hidden by a cardigan or cloak. Spin in a small circle, watching as the skirts flare at your ankles, then falling back against your legs, cosy and soft.

“You look lovely,” Mor says from your side, and you turn to face her, a helpless smile lifting the edges of your mouth. This is something you wouldn’t mind having. It’s warm and practical, comfortable without compromising appearance. There are no intricate details, no sequins or jewels to make it particularly astonishing, just simple and plain. Absolutely perfect.

“Do you want it?” She asks quietly, having moved closer. Throat rolls, gloved fingers running over the wool—how lovely it would be to feel it properly. You do want it, but… “Let me get it,” she says, hand lightly clasping your wrist, turning you toward her. Eyes flick down at the warm wool, taking in its soothing comfort. The redirection is on your tongue, prepared to deny yourself further. “That’s what this whole trip is for,” she reminds, tone quiet. “You like it, don’t you?” She asks, and discomfort squirms beneath your skin—you can’t lie to her.

Her lips part into a wide smile, hands pressing together. “That’s great,” she reassures, “let me get it for you. As a belated present.” Eyes dip lower, pressing into the floorboard, brows tightening ever so slightly. This isn’t something you need…

You can’t quite bring yourself to look at her as your head dips. “Okay…”

You feel more than see the air shift, brightening as she eases a breath out, smile widening into sunshine. “Perfect!” She signs, “I was beginning to doubt we’d find anything.” You manage a tight smile, still unable to go fully look at her, but—it’s going to be yours. How long has it been since you’d been in a situation where you were allowed to pick something you liked, instead of a hand-me-down?

Naturally almost an entire new wardrobe had been offered upon your initial transportation here, but those were plain in a different way. The idea of having a cupboard full of clothes explicitly for yourself seems wildly indulgent, bordering on selfish. What could one person possibly need so many clothes for? Yet the way the wool sits soft against your skin has you beginning to understand the want, why it’s so important to some people. Throat rolls, touching gloved hands to your waist, feeling the wrap of warmth around your skin. “Thank you.”

A weight settles in your chest, but you can’t quite bring yourself to regret the purchase.

————

After being taken from shop to shop, you’d finally reached one of the many bookstores in Velaris—the point your discipline had taken a heavy hit.

Peer down at the brown paper bag on your arm, one of three. The first containing the dress, the second containing a comfy pair of slippers Mor had managed to convince you to allow her to buy—there had been an ochre yellow jumper too, that you’d had to beg her not to buy because you’d caught sight of the price tag. And this third bag, containing two new books. You’d taken your time deciding on them—books don’t last you very long, generally being finished anywhere between a few hours and a week depending on your interest.

Darkness has fallen thanks to the days becoming shorter, a wave of fatigue washing through your mind as you glance out through the windows, peering down at Velaris, lit by dotted faelights—appearing as little, bright stars spotted amongst inky blackness.

Shoes are held in your arm, not wanting to tread dirt into the floors, the three bags weighing on your forearm as you behind quietly making your way to your room. You don’t know who else is about, and while the days hadn’t been as straining as you had anticipated, any more interaction threatens to send you spiralling.

Cotton socks tread lightly as you make your way through the halls, trying to keep from kneeing any of the bags in case it disturbs someone.

The corridors seems darker than usual, something ineffable about his presence affecting the surrounding area as you raise to the points of your toes, keeping volume to a minimum. Heart picks up as you keep to the left of the hallway, creeping at the edges like an unwanted creature, keeping to the darkness in fear of being caught and squashed. Keep your gaze on the floor as you try to move past as quietly as possible, peering along to the end of the corridor, a single wide window illuminating the floor. Moonlight spills through it, pooling on the wooden boards, reflecting onto the short set of drawers pushed against the wall.

You pass by his door as quietly as possible, hardly breathing until you reach the piece of furniture. Peer at the small trinkets scattered across its top, momentarily distracted. Some stray jewellery glints against the wood, little tea lights and incense sticks, a few arrowheads that have been discarded. It’s unnervingly simple to find various little weapons lying around, short daggers accidentally thrown in with cutlery, or things like arrowheads that have seemingly been forgotten this far into the House.

Eyes inadvertently lift to the large mirror, locking with your reflection. Something shifts just out of your vision, but you remain latched on. Stare at your hair, the set of your mouth in relation to your eyes, the corners aligning with your pupils. Look lower, shifting over collar bones and tense— You relax your shoulders, untighten your jaw, releasing the lines of tension that have been carved into your body.

Stare at your mouth again, tempted to raise the pads of your fingers to skate across the skin—test to see if they’re as pillowy as Mor’s appeared. Throat rolls, pressing down on the urge. Why bother comparing yourself like that.

Gaze breaks from the mirror, shoulders sloping further. The day was fun. Fun.

She’s enjoyable to be around. Almost enough for you to want another day. She knows how to speak to people, how to set them at ease. Brows tighten as you recall her smile, dazzling like sunshine, practically spelling you into response. Once again peer at the downward tilt of your mouth. Who would want to kiss such a sad looking mouth?

Look away before your thoughts go any further.

Lift up, settling on the mounted blade. Moonlight grins along its edge, hanging tauntingly overhead. Like a guillotine poised to snick down on your reflection. Throat rolls, the point of the steel twinkling like starlight, tongue flicks out to wet your lower lip.

Mindlessly wander how sharp it is, if there’s some tale behind it—maybe an heirloom. Either way, it must be special, to be put on display like that.

Again trace the smile of the curved blade, following the gleaming edge of steel.

(Would its slice would be faster than pain?)

Pain splinters up your knuckles, breath catching int your throat as fingertips burn. Jaw clamps, muscle locking as violent aches cramp your palms, lacing beneath the sleeves of your dress.

Keep still, eyes squeezing shut as you ease breaths into your lungs. The pain subsides to a dull itch, and you move to turn. Nostrils flare at the smell of smoke, eyes flicking down as the handles of the bags snap, singed and burnt away. Heart picks up at the books plummet to the floor, ready to thud intrusively on the boards, crack through the silence. Socked-foot sticks out before you can think, just needing to muffle the sound before it hits.

Teeth sink into your lower lip as one of the corners hits the bridge of your foot, undoubtedly going to bruise later, but you keep the noise of pain to a minimum. Heart pounds in the silence, and you’re swiftly ducking down to scoop the bags into your arms. Humiliation burns in your throat, shame twisting in your gut. If you had been less greedy…less hoggish… So stupid.

The gifts weigh in your arms like burning coals, clutched to tightly, desperately, as you scurry away down the hall. Crawling away into the distance.

————

Unscrew the pot of hand cream as soon as you’ve finished shoving the bags into the dust beneath your bed, pushed as far back as possible.

Peel back gloves, their tips singed open, already dipping your fingers into the cooling balm.

The sickening smell of gardenias floats up to you, skin burning as you rub the cream in, stinging from the aftermath. Fleetingly peer at the blank paper atop your desk, taunting but unadded to.

Feel control slipping out from under you, like the world is moving without you. Just a few steps behind. Heart picks up, a light, panicky feeling setting in. Fingertips crackle, glowing bright and tears slip out, teeth biting into the raw pain of your lip.

Swallowing down a single choked cry.

General Taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @amygdtjhddzvb @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks

Az Taglist: @azrielshadows1nger @jurdanpotter @positivewitch

CBMTHY Taglist: @impossibelle @naturakaashi @sakurafrost3-blog @ficienjoyedrbspot @azriels-shadowsinger @marina468 @misstea12 @going-through-shit @fussel9913 @minakay @i-am-infinite @wannabewolf @thegirlintheshadows101 @kennedy-brooke @esposadomd @horneybeach1 @jeannineee @harrystylesfan2686 @tothestarsandwhateverend @abysshaven @starlight-hope @stupidwingboy @nastynesta @luvmoo @furiousbooklover @kuraikei @kemillyfreitas @chasing-autumns-chill @marvelpotter @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @nightcourt-daydreaming @vanderlinde @fall-myriad @historygeekqueen

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x yn #azriel acotar #azriel angst #CBMTHY #multi part fic

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thelov3lybookworm · 6 months

Note

I have a request!

Can you write something where Cassian is tasked with “babysitting” Azriel’s very pregnant mate? Like she can’t be alone for medical reasons and Rhys really needs Azriel for something and Cass is the only one not busy? I just think it would be hilarious. 😂

Babysitting

Summary: Cassian's day doesn't go as planned.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: this was so funny my baby anon 😭💀i love it so much❣️

•○🌑○•

Rhys's pov.

"I can't leave her here alone Rhys! You know how moody and clingy she's become these past few weeks. She has also become extremely excited. She can't sit still for more than an hour or so. She can't stay alone." Azriel ran a hand through his hair, tugging slightly as his anxiety built. "Hell, can you believe I found her trying to climb into our closet because she wanted to clean it the other day?"

"I know brother, and I wouldn't have asked you to come unless it was absolutely necessary. Keir is once again planning something, you know it. Your presence is needed."

Azriel sighed heavily, settling into one of the chairs in his brother's office. "Tell me again why I'm needed?"

"I want you to snoop around hewn city while I distract the court."

Azriel cursed. "And no one can stay with her? Because she will not be going to hewn city, no matter what."

Rhys contemplated for some time. He wished he didn't have to do this. He didn't want his brother to worry too much about his mate. But this trip to the hewn city was also important.

Mor was visiting Miryam and Drakon. She was not in Velaris. She was out of the question for taking care of Y/n.

Feyre and Amren would be coming along to hewn city. They couldn't help either.

Nesta had training with the Valkyries.

Rhys sighed. Nuala and Cerridwen would be spying g along with Azriel. Elain was on her trip across Prythian.

Just when Rhys was about to give up, the door to his office burst open and in stumbled Cassian. He grinned when he found both his brothers staring at him as he tried to regain some semblance of balance.

Rhys glanced at Azriel, a smile crawling onto his face.

Azriel's brows furrowed, and then his eyes widened with understanding. "No. No. Absolutely not."

Rhys's grin turned feline. "Come on brother, there's no other option."

"What are we talking about?" Cassian questioned as he dropped into the chair next to Azriel, the chair wobbling for a moment.

"Nothing much brother. Just discussing the oncoming trip to hewn city."

"Oh?"

The next few moments went with Rhys explaining why they were going and who all were coming along.

Cassian heaved a relieved sigh when he realised that he was not accompanying them.

"Don't get too happy brother. Because you are free on that day, we were hoping you could stay with Y/n. Look after her.take care of her. She is nearing her delivery date and Az here is a little concerned."

"You want me to babysit her? That's alright! She is after all like my little sister. I can take care of her."

Azriel looked skeptical, but a little more persuasion was all that was needed for him to agree.

Now all they had to do was wait for the day.

•○🌑○•

Cassian's pov.

Y/n's lip quivered as she watched her mate get ready for his trip to hewn city. Cassian felt bad as he watched her. He wished he could comfort her, but didn't know how.

Azriel stood from where he was tying his boots while sitting on the couch, giving Y/n a soft smile. He walked up to her, cupping her face in both hands. "I'll be back soon, hmm?"

Y/n nodded, tears forming in her eyes. Azriel pulled her in for a hug, rubbing her back. Azriel glanced at Cassian, who simply stood there awkwardly, trying not to intrude. He grinned before pulling away from Y/n.

After Azriel was gone, Y/n turned to Cassian. He smiled at her.

"What do you want to do today sister?"

"I was hoping you'd bake with me."

Cassian blinked at her. "What?"

"You always say you have good skills in the kitchen. Bake with me."

Cassian, dumbfounded, simply nodded. He followed her into the kitchen, staring as she pulled out whatever was needed. "I'm thinking we can make cookies. What do you say?"

"Alright."

Y/n was quiet for a moment, then she pulled out a small stool from nearby and began climbing onto it. A panic gripped Cassian as he jolted into action. "What are you doing?! Get down!"

Y/n glanced at Cassian, confused. "I need to get the flour. It's up there."

"I'll get it for you." He gently tugged her down, his heart beating in his throat. "Cauldron, you scared me."

He reached up for the container, but he didn't realise how light it would be. He pulled it out, thinking it would be heavy, but it was lighter than expected. The container jerked in his hands, and then the lid flipped open.

Before he knew what happened, Cassian was covered in flour. He turned to a laughing Y/n, clutching at her swollen stomach and leaning against the counter nearby.

A Shadow floated next to her head, and she grinned at it. That was what made Cassian suspicious.

"Why was the lid open? Was it even open?" He questioned, shaking his head to try and get rid of the flour.

Y/n grinned. "Come on Cass. Can a female not have some fun with her brother?" She again glanced at the shadow. Cassian sighed.

"Is there anything else needed?"

"Eggs."

"Where is it?"

She grinned, a twinkle in her eyes. "Above you."

Cassian was a second too late as he tried to step away. The egg cracked over his head, running down his face.

Cassian groaned. "Y/n. Please stop. This is not funny."

"It's funny to me." She laughed.

"Get out. I'll make the cookies. Go sit on the couch over there."

Y/n pouted, but at Cassian's glare, she sulked away.

Cassian sighed and set to cleaning.

•○🌑○•

When he walked out of the kitchen, he nearly dropped dead because of the fright he recieved.

There, near the fireplace, standing on a chair, was Y/n, dusting a shelf.

"Y/n. Can you please get down." He mumbled softly, trying not to scream in case he frightened her and she lost her balance.

She turned to him, a pleasant smile on her face. That smile faltered when she saw the expression on his face. "What is it?"

"Get down Y/n."

She grumbled but climbed down slowly.

"What is wrong with you?!" He burst out the moment she was on the ground.

Her lower lip wobbled, and Cassian immediately felt guilty. "What is wrong with you?"

Cassian dragged a hand down his face. "I'm sorry. You just scared me. You know it's not safe for you to be climbing on things around the house, right?"

"The chair isn't that high. And the house needs cleaning. Azzie hasn't been letting me do anything since I got pregnant. It's been irritating me."

Cassian pulled her in for a hug, cradling her head gently. "I know sister. But let's wait until after the babe's here to clean the house, yeah?"

She nodded, sniffing.

"I'm bored." She suddenly murmured, looking at him.

Cassian blinked. "Um... is there nothing you can do? We can play something. While sitting." He gave her a look, and she nodded innocently.

"We can play cards."

"Fine."

•○🌑○•

Cassian was on the verge of tears.

The two of them had played cards until the cookies were ready to eat, and after that Y/n had insisted he read to her. Apparently, Azriel always read to her when she was bored.

And Cassian, being the arrogant little prick he was, had wondered how hard it could be. Surely, a warrior who had conquered battlegrounds and men far stronger, one who was one of the best warrior prythian had seen in centuries, could read a book to his brothers wife?

Wrong. He could not read the book without wanting to crawl into a hole and never show his face again.

Y/n had insisted that he read the book she picked.

She sat munching and nibbling on the cookies he made as he struggled to get even one of the filthy words out of his mouth. Sure, he had done these things with Nesta, but reading of them in front of his someone... it felt like his soul was leaving his body.

All the while she remained oblivious to his plight.

Finally, when she took pity on him and told him to stop reading.

"I want to take a nap. Then we can cook dinner."

Cassian had never gotten rid of something in his hands faster.

She settled down on the couch, her head in his lap. He smiled softly when a sigh left her.

Then he asked her the question buzzing in his head. "Where did you get the book from?"

He phrased it casually, and thank the cauldron, she answered him without even a hint of suspicion.

"Oh, Nesta lent it to me."

Cassian's eyes practically bulged out of his head. "That's great."

Y/n hummed, already drifting off.

Cassian shook his head, smiling.

•○🌑○•

Azriel's pov.

He opened the door carefully, trying not to make any noise.

As he stepped in through the threshold, he found the home to be pitch black. His brows furrowed in confusion. Had Y/n not lit the faelights?

As he turned them on, his heart melted.

There on the couch, his brother and wife slept.

She was stretched out on the couch, her face relaxed. Her mouth was sightly parted.

Cassian was sprawled out on the armchair near the fireplace, his arms wrapped across his chest. His legs were stretched out, and he looked like he would slip off the couch any moment now.

Azriel slightly shook Cassian's shoulder, causing him to jerk awake.

He blearily blinked at Azriel, a crease between his brows. Then his eyes widened in relief, and he scrambled to stand.

"Thank the mother you are back." Cassian whispered, finally stable on his feet.

"Why?"

"Oh my. This female made me wonder if i needed more training. I'm so fucking tired." Cassian suddenly clutched at his back, groaning.

"What happened?" Azriel questioned, concerned.

"Don't ask, brother. Don't ask."

"Okay." Azriel made to turn away, and Cassian gaped ay him. With a small smile, Azriel turned back toward him.

"She took a nap in the afternoon. And then she was unstoppable. Creating trouble left and right. More so than Nyx."

Azriel chuckled. He glanced at his wife and mate. She looked so peaceful. Like she was the calmest person in prythian.

"I'll take my leave now." Cassian mumbled, stretching.

Azriel nodded. "I owe you one."

"Don't worry about it."

Cassian walked to Y/n, bending to press a kiss to her forehead before he left.

Azriel smiled. As much as Cassian complained, everyone knew he would do anything to make his family happy.

He was nice like that.

Y/n blinked her pretty eyes open, looking up at him through her lashes. "Hello Azzie."

"Hello my love. Let's get you to bed."

Y/n nodded, holding her arms out to him. "I think we should make a cake or something to thank Cassian for keeping me company today."

"That's a great idea." He spoke as he helped her stand.

"Tomorrow then?"

Azriel smiled at his mate. "Tomorrow."

•○🌑○•

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @lizziesfirstwife

Azriel taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings

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lullabestie14 · 1 month

Text

Found this comment on Reddit. Couldn’t explain it better than this.

“It’s clear from Mist and Fury that the original ships were: Feysand, Nessian, Elucien, and Mor/Azriel. Like it’s so obvious the way she wrote Mor and Azriel; Mor even seems vaguely interested/torn about Az. Looking at interviews, SJM even talks about Elucien as a couple (eg where would they like to travel together, etc).

Flash forward to ACOWAR. For whatever reason (lack of chemistry with Az, wanting more diversity) SJM has Mor say that she prefers women. This time the Az-pining-for-Mor is more desperate/feels like a zero chance of being requited. SJM also introduces Az as a potential love interest for Elain because she loves throwing a wrench. Just because Elucien are mates doesn’t mean they’ll have it easy; SJM’s whole thing is angst. She had to throw in a love triangle to make it uncertain. This is the first couple where mate status is confirmed upon meeting.

But there’s a problem now. If Az and Mor are no longer endgame, who will they end up with? is it not suspicious that the two new characters introduced in SF (Gwyn and Emerie) just HAPPEN to be potentially be good partners for Az and Mor? Like it’s not a coincidence that Emerie looks at Mor and blushes, remarking how pretty she is. It’s not a coincidence that Az and Gwyn have so many interactions in the text. It’s not a coincidence that a “random side character” shows up in a bonus chapter.

When SJM created Gwyn and Emerie, it wasn’t just to give Nesta friends. These characters clearly didn’t exist when she wrote MAF. SJM wanted new characters that would solve her retcon of ending Az/Mor. She wanted to solve the Mor/Az retcon so bad that she created a NEW RETCON of Az going to Sangravah. Like why bother to add that detail if it’s not important.

Also: poor Lucien. His endgame heroine was supposed to be Nesta until SJM realized they would be terrible together and that Nessian had better chemistry. So she gives Elucien the mating bond. Like is she really going to fuck Lucien over TWICE? She loves him as a character and has put him through the wringer. Yes, I agree that SJM can change her mind and maybe is open to mate rejection, but Lucien has already switched love interests from Nesta to Elain! Who else is he going to switch to, considering that Jurian and Vassa are “at each other’s throats?”

Finally, please think about the number of books left. Ignoring novellas (which are probably gonna be fluffy ones like ACOFAS where nothing happens), there are two main books left. Two couples.

Option A:

• ⁠Gwynriel (Valkyrie growth, Illyrian rebellion, exploring Ramiel, Gwyn’s autumn heritage and maybe lightsinger?? powers)

• ⁠Elucien (Helion secret baby, defeating Koschei, freeing Vassa, fixing spring court)

Option B

• ⁠Elriel (mate rejection storyline, potentially some stuff above)

• ⁠?????

Literally WHO is the second book in this equation? Lucien and Vassa?? We barely know Vassa and there’s barely any connection to Night Court. And Lucien’s book is going to be depressing as fuck dealing with mate rejection; does anyone want to read two heavy books of rejection? Jurian and Vassa: again, we barely know them! At least with Tower of Dawn, Chaol had been a main character for a long time with POV. SJM will not do a full-length Emerie/Mor book as much as I would love for one. She’s very cognizant of criticism re: Mor bi rep in the past; she doesn’t want to open a can of worms and be accused of writing bad sapphic rep. If anything, I can see a fluffy Emerie/Mor novella with little angst (or them getting together in the background of other books).

So from a meta structural level, I don’t understand who the second couple will be if Elriel is endgame. Lucien/Vassa is the most plausible answer, but 1) we barely know Vassa, 2) she’s human and Lucien is immortal. So are we going to toss her into the Cauldron to make her immortal? Serious question, and 3) I don’t want TWO books about mate rejection, it’s depressing as hell. I can see one but not two.

But with Gwynriel and Elucien, you have enormous fan and audience interest in ALL FOUR CHARACTERS. They’re directly tied to Night Court and SJM so far has no intention of staying away from the core group.”

#acotar #elucien #gwynriel #sarah j maas #lucien vanserra #azriel #elain archeron #gwyneth berdara

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olenvasynyt · 1 month

Text

I could write an entire essay on why I don’t think Elriel is endgame but I think I just need to say one thing (besides Elain and Lucien are mates):

We didn’t get to see their lust and feelings develop on page, and more importantly, in their POVs. We get Feyre seeing glances and blushes from across the room. Absolutely. I’m not denying that. But a romance book immediately starting with two characters already in love? That’s not SJMs way. She has ALWAYS made her couples struggle with their feelings before accepting and officially falling in love, even when the couples had secret attraction for each other.

Elriel has tension, but that’s already the peak of their relationship. It can’t get any higher, and in fact, it’s already going downhill with the bonus chapter.

It’s also not SJMs way to do a secret romance / cheating trope which I see a lot of people suggesting, because with a cheating trope, it only works if the person being cheated on is a bad person and did wrong on their partner. Lucien is not that man, you guys. Not at all. And what I’m getting from Elriels is they want Elriel’s book to be Elain and Az in love even though Rhys forbade it and Lucien either accepting it and going with Vassa because he loved her the entire time anyway (despite everything going against that) or him getting mad Elain went for Az instead and he calls for a blood duel.

I’m so sorry but Elriel just makes no sense to me. They have no struggle, no growth, no substance.

#pro gwynriel #pro elucien #elucien #anti vassien #anti elriel #strong Dana opinions

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psychee92 · 3 months

Text

How Azriel/Elain in the Bonus POV mirror Ruhn/Lidia in HOFAS | Spoilers

I haven't posted anything in years, but the release of HOFAS—and all the crumbs we've gotten, everything we've learned that will directly impact future ACOTAR events—brought me back.

I might post more in the upcoming weeks, but wanted to first share something with my Elriels because I'm tired of the narrative being spun about Azriel's Bonus POV.

Beware: HOFAS spoilers under the cut

This is a scene between Ruhn and Lidia. It reminded me a lot of what happens between Azriel and Elain in his bonus POV, including how they react to each other.

He took one more step, and he could see her trembling. With fear or restraint, he had no idea. “Lidia,” he murmured, in front of her at last, and she closed her eyes, the pulse in her throat fluttering. Her scent shifted—like flowers unfurling under the morning sun. That scent was pure arousal. His cock tightened painfully.

vs.

Azriel's fingers lingered at her nape, atop the first knob of her spine. Slowly, Elain pivoted into his touch. Until his palm lay flat against her neck.

Azriel's cock strained behind his pants, aching so fiercely he could hardly think. He prayed she didn't peer down. Prayed she didn't understand the shift in his scent.

And

He didn’t care that they were in the middle of a hallway with his awful cousins running amok. He slid a hand onto her waist, nearly groaning at the steep curve, the way it fit his hand perfectly.

vs.

Wrong -- it was so wrong.

He didn't care.

He nearly groaned with relief and need as he lowered his head toward hers.

And

She kept her eyes closed, her pulse still flickering. So he took his other hand and tilted her head to the side. Leaned down and brushed his mouth over that fluttering spot.

Her breathing hitched, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head. She tasted … fuck. He needed more. His teeth grazed the soft skin of her throat, and his tongue skimmed along the space just under her ear. His cock throbbed in answer.

vs.

Azriel's hand slid up her neck, burying in her thick hair. Tilting her face the way he wanted it. Elain's mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before fluttering shut.

Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet scent. He'd beg on his knees for a chance to taste it. But Azriel just stroked her neck again.

And

Her body loosened, pliant in his hands, and her head tipped a little further to the side. An invitation. He licked up the column of her throat, hand drifting from her waist down to her ass—

vs.

"Yes," he said, his thumb sweeping in long strokes along the side of her throat.

Elain shuddered, drifting closer. So close one deep breath would brush her breasts against his chest.

Offer and permission.

And

She stiffened. Pulled away.

He stood there like a fucking moron, panting slightly, cock fully hard and straining against his pants, and she just … stared at him. Wide-eyed.

“I …” He had no idea what to say. What to do.

vs.

Rhys vanished, and Azriel was left standing before Elain, who still awaited his kiss. His stomach twisted as he pulled his hand from her hair and stepped back. Forced himself to say, "This was a mistake.”

She opened her eyes, hurt and confusion warring there before she whispered, "I’m sorry."

“You don't -- Don't apologize,” he managed to say. "Never apologize. It's I who should…”

And

“Good night,” he rasped, and turned to his own room before he could make a greater fool of himself.

She didn’t stop him.

vs.

He shook his head, unable to stand the bleakness he'd brought to her expression. "Goodnight.”

Azriel winnowed into shadows before she could say anything

And the part that caught my attention the most:

His head swam. This female had so much blood on her hands, yet—

vs.

[...] that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars.

The funny thing is, the Ruhn and Lidia interaction is VERY similar to the Nesta/Cassian interaction in Cassian's bonus POV—AND an interaction between Rowan and Aelin. And yet, some still refuse to see what's right in front of them.

Either way, HOFAS has been amazing so far, and I cannot wait to see what the future will hold.

#elriel #pro elriel #pro elain #hofas spoilers #daynight

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littlemisssatanist · 1 month

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my acotar unpopular opinions

taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.

be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.

rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.

nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?

mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.

on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.

the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.

out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.

nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.

sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.

lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.

eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.

NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.

feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.

feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.

acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.

tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?

#anti rhysand #anti sjm #anti inner circle #anti acotar #rhysand critical #inner circle critical #acotar #acotar critical #pro nesta #anti nessian #pro eris vanserra #anti mor #this might be a controversial one

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redheadspark · 2 months

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Getaway

Summary - Azriel decides to take you on a getaway

Warnings - SMUT in this oneshot, NO MINORS ALLOWED! You have been warned!

A/N - This is part of my Ocean Eyes Series, but no Alec in this one. Just some cute and spice between Azriel and the Reader

Your POV

"Cousin, may I have a word?"

"You can always have a word with me, Rhys,"

Your Cousin, High Lord Rhysand, chuckled as he walked over to where you were perched in your chair, outside in the garden at the Townhouse. The sun was shining down, not blazing hot but still brought some warmth with the first signs of spring around the corner in Velaris. You wanted to have some time out of the cottage, it felt like you were cooped up there for days on end with the constant rain and cold winds from the mountains. But with the first signs of warmth and the sun peeking through the dark clouds, you flew to the Townhouse to get some fresh air and help tend to the garden since Elain was too busy planning her wedding and finding a second residential home in Autumn Court.

Alec was with his father for the day, Azriel knowing you needed some solo time and he wished to have some father-son time. You were glad to see the pair of them off, Azriel taking him to the beach and along the bay, Mor tagging along as an excuse to buy Alec presents and spend time with him.

"Are you well?" He asked you, almost nonchalantly as you eyed him from your chair. He sat opposite of you, across from the small patio table while you folded your hands in your lap.

"As well as I should be," You answered, then eyeing him with a hint of suspicion as he merely smiled, "Something you wish to ask me, Rhys?"

"Only if you're well," he replied in a shrug, then pausing for a moment as you saw some softness in his eyes and in how he shifted in his chair, "You've been through plenty these past months: tending to Alec, dealing with Eris in Autumn Court—"

"Rhysand," You gently said his name, wanting to reach over and take his hand in yours own to give him a sense of comfort, "Everything is okay, alright? I promise you, I am well."

You adored Rhysand tending to you to make sure you were well and safe, long before Alec came around. Rhysand took you under his wing when you two were young, learning well from his mother and sister, and was the first real "family" member you ever had. No matter if you ran Night Court without him for those 50 years he was held Under the Mountain, he still wished to protect you. And now that you had your own family, you had your own little life that was growing by the day, Rhysand never once forgot his promise to his mother, your aunt, to keep you safe.

"You may be well, but I still worry for you because I love you," he reminded you, making you grin as he shrugged, "You're my blood, and because of that I want you to be more than well. As a father and as someone who knows how exhausting it is with a little one, I have a proposition for you,"

You raised an eyebrow at him as he rubbed his fingers together on the table, "For me?"

Rhysand rolled his eyes, "For you and your lovely Spymaster of a mate. You two are incredible parents, and your son is an exceptional boy because of you two…but when was the last time you and Azriel had time together,"

"Time together?" You questioned him again, hearing him clear his throat a bit uncomfortably.

"…Alone time?" He asked, then ducking suddenly as you threw your gardening gloves right at him. He laughed and saw you were blushing like mad.

"Rhysand, if you even think about talking to me about my personal and intimate life with Azriel, I swear to The Cauldron—" You were about to scold him when he threw up his hands in surrender.

"Believe me, I know for a fact you two are healthy in that department," He replied cooly, you then threw a towel which landed right on his head. He tossed the towel down as he spoke again, "I am simply saying, and suggesting that you two go away for the weekend."

Though you were still blushing, you were then eyeing him in suspicion again as he simply smiled and folded his hands in his lap again, his ink hair almost highlighted in the sunlight as you cocked your head at him.

"Are You suggesting Azriel and I go away for a weekend?" You asked, almost in disbelief yourself since this would be the last thing Rhysand would ever ask of the pair of you. Not that he kept you from having your own family time when you needed it, but that was when Alec was involved. Azriel would still be on call if Rhysand needed him, so to hear this from your cousin, you were a bit surprised and almost challenged.

"I only say this from experience: when Nyx was born, Feyre and I hardly had any time to ourselves. As much I loved, and still do, having my son with us…I missed that time with Feyre."

"With all due respect for you and my High Lady, I would rather not hear the details," You teased, seeing a flash of blush on your cousin's cheeks. You had to giggle, seeing the High Lord of Night Court and one of the most powerful beings blush like mad at the thought of his mate made your own heart tug a little bit.

"You should have that time again with Azriel," Rhysand urged you, his voice sounded calm and sincere as you thought about it. You knew he made a good point: your personal time with Azriel has been severely limited. Although you both loved being parents and tending to Alec, you did miss having that solo time with your mate. No matter if you two have been together for centuries since you were teenagers, having time with only Azriel was something you craved. He was your better half, not because you two were mates, but because of how long you two have known and grown to love one another.

So maybe…maybe it wasn't a bad idea.

"As it happens, I know the perfect place for you two to have your weekend together," Rhsyand hummed, sounding like his causal self once again as he flicked off some of the petals that were falling from the cherry blossom tree looming over the pair of you.

The front door opened into the cabin, and the swift scent of pine and open mountain air filled your lungs as you both walked into the foyer and drank in the silence. You could faintly hear the water on the lakeshore, along with the swaying of the trees that were towering high above and the winds echoing along the mountain walls. It was a contrast to the bustling city, but you didn't mind it one bit.

This modern cabin you have used in the past with Azriel and Alec, perhaps a handful of times when the three of you wanted to get away from Velaris for a night or two. You knew the layout of this cabin well by now: the foyer that was made of magnificent wood and pine with stairs on the right hadn't side leading to the second floor that held the master's suite and bathroom. In front of you past the foyer was the living room, one massive plush couch with two armchairs in front of a massive fireplace made of stone and marble, and a gorgeous view of the lake and mountain range beyond.

To the left of the foyer was a guest room attached to a powder room, and a sunroom tucked next to the kitchen and dining room that was towards the back of the cabin. Although it was cozy and rustic in aesthetic, it had all the modern finishes that made it desirable all the more. Some of Feyre's paintings were hung on the wall, along with wall decor and pictures of the Inner Circle. Feyre’s eye for interior design made the cabin look enchanting for any of its inhabitants or guests.

After handing Alec off to Feyre and Rhysand earlier that afternoon at the River House, you watched with wide eyes and a hint of worry as Feyre took your son inside to find Nyx waiting for him. Feyre and Rhysand has watched Alec over a dozen times, mostly to have Nyx and Alec play together and to spend time with their nephew. Deep down you knew your son was safe with them, he would be safe with anyone in the Inner Circle for that matter. But it was still hard not to have Alec on your hip or strapped to you, to not hear his babbling constantly throughout the day or see his smile. But Azriel simply took your hand, you both taking to the sky together with the bag Azriel packed for the pair of you, and you finally made it to the cabin.

"I already have a dinner planned for tonight," Azriel said to you as he held your bag in his hand, you looked over at him as he smiled warmly at you. His smile, no matter how many years and moments you've seen it, always gave you butterflies like the first time you saw his smile. It brightened his face, his mood, and even his soul too, making you smile in return as he leaned over to kiss your cheek to let the kiss linger, "Why don't you get settled, my love,"

You felt the kiss like liquid fire along your cheek as you smiled at your mate, feeling him nuzzle his nose against yours before swirly moving away and over to the kitchen area, leaving you out of breath from the small gesture. Azriel had that kind of power over you, from a simple smile to a kiss on your cheek. You would still find yourself out of breath with him, and it was something you never wanted to lose.

Making it to the Master Bedroom, you saw the massive windows that were showing the breathtaking views of the mountains. The tint of orange and purple from the setting sun made it seem like a painting that Feyre would make instead of the real thing, you touching the top of the lush covers of the bed. You loved your little cottage that was a bit too cramped, it was your home and the first home you built with Azriel.

But you were beyond excited to sleep in this lush and comfortable bed.

Something moved in your vision, outside the cabin and over by the little pier of the lake. You walked over to the big window that was above the bed, looking out to see your mate walking along the dirt path and onto the pier. His wings were relaxed against his back, and his hair that has grown a bit was flowing in the wind as he approached the end of the pier. As he walked, you saw him strip his shirt, tossing it on the pier, and then toeing off his boots. His tan skin glistened in the sunlight, his muscles were evident along his backside and arms as he stood at the end of the pier, looking out at the water in his jeans.

What you didn't expect to see was your mate, stripping down naked, and dipping into the lake.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, your breath lost on your lips from seeing Azriel duck his head under the water and then back out again. The water rolled down his muscular backside and off his wings, his hair stuck against his neck and glistening in the sun with shine. He seemed so free out in the lake, away from prying eyes and judgment that you knew he had to endure for years on end. Always under the microscope, always needing to look over his shoulder or for others. Yet there, out in the lake bare for all to see, he seemed free.

Or perhaps, only for you to see, which made your heart quicken all the more.

Still to this day he made your heart race and gave you butterflies from his unique and rare beauty. You saw him as beautiful, from his tan skin and his ink hair to his bright hazel eyes and sensational smile. But beyond the persona that he had to show in front of others, Azriel was so calm and kind. You saw the softer side of him, a side he never showed to others and wouldn't dare to expose to anyone but you. His heart was always tender, even beyond the scars and callouses that were there from past tragedies and heartbreaks. With you, Azriel was willing to give you his heart, his tender and fragile heart that he's protected all of his life and with all his energy.

You took it, knowing it was the most precious thing he could ever give you.

Your feet took you out of the cabin, across the small garden that was already growing thanks to Elain, and onto the little pier that was leading you to your mate. The warm air hit your skin as you stripped off your sweater, letting it hit the floor and then towing off your shoes. Azriel heard your feet, turning around and looking at you slowly stripping off your clothes. His eyes were on yours, a smile on his face while you were taking off each piece of clothing. Not in an alluring way, though it felt like it because of how he was gazing at you. He stared at you as if you were the only being that would catch his eye, that would distract him, and that would bring him joy.

You were all of those things to your mate, and he was those things to you.

Finally, being bare in front of him and almost shivering from the wind, you watched in anticipation as his smile never faltered. He drank in the sight of you, the curves along your hips and thighs, the freckles etched along your arms and cheeks from being in the sun. In any other circumstance, you would wish to shield yourself and hide away. But not with Azriel, the love of your life.

He held out a hand to you, the scars along his skin and knuckles shined in the sun as he finally spoke with one single word on his lips:

"Divine"

You took his hand willingly, Azriel's voice was a siren call for you as walked to the edge of the pier. His fingers laced with yours, his eyes never leaving your own while he helped you into the water with ease. The water was cool to the touch, far too inviting thanks to the sun beating down on the water as Azriel wrapped you in his arms and kissed your soundly. You hummed, your fingers sinking into his ink-black hair while his fingers were pressing into your waist and hips. Being bare in the water, pressed up against Azriel, and feeling him hold you against him in such an intimate manner, you could have sworn you had tears in your eyes.

Your emotions got the best of you, all from being in this space with him and the rest of the world melting away. At the core of it all, you've missed this: having Azriel to yourself and pouring your love into him. With every kiss he gave you, his fingers brushing against your skin and one hand curving up to cup one of your breasts in his calloused palm to make you moan against his mouth, you were tumbling for him.

It was not a rushed process, it flowed naturally and organically as Azriel's lips moved to trace your jawline and then to your neck, hitting your pulse point since he knew it was a sensitive spot for you. Recently you two would have to improvise, so to speak, when it came to being intimate together and having time together alone. You both were busy with his Spymaster duties and your duties to Rhysand, along with having an infant to look after, it barely left any time to be intimate in the way you wanted. With quick kisses and lingering touches, Azriel quickly fucking you in the shower after Alec was put down for a nap for the night, even the heavy petting in bed together seemed to work at the time.

But this, this was the slow build-up you both craved and ached for.

His hands were roaming all over you, making your inside feel so warm and your mind going blank. You loved it when his hands were on your skin, almost like he was mapping your body to memory. Azriel knew your body so well: every dip and curve, every freckle and mole, he knew where to touch and kiss, where to trace his tongue and fingers. You were putty to him when you two were like this, even in that lake and Azriel lightly pressing you against the pier and you molding into him as he kissed and touched.

"Mother I missed this," He said with a groan, his fingers under the water were now touching your folds and making you whimper as he ran his fingers along your folds slowly and with precision. You felt him tremble while you clung onto him with your back against the wood of the pier, "I missed being able to do this with you."

"Me too," You said as you kissed him hard while he slipped a finger inside of you, you moaning against his mouth as he slowly started pumping his finger in and out of you in a steady rhythm, "It's been too..too long—fuck Az!"

He curled his finger, hitting that spot deep inside of you that made you see stars as he mouth against your neck and his other hand reached behind you to brace the pair, gripping it tightly and in a death grip as a second finger slipped inside of you and made your head fall back against the wood. He took that as a sign for him to leave love bites on your neck, your pulse quickening and your pleasure was getting higher by the second.

"You look gorgeous like this," He hummed against your skin, his fingers still going in and out of you but going a pinch faster as he watched you come undone. You had no care that you both were out in the open for anyone to see, but that would be nearly impossible since both and cabin and the lake were enchanted to be undetected by anyone or any being. Knowing it was just the two of you, your guards were down and that sensation alone was memorable as Azriel gulped and spoke again in a growl, "Nothing else will satisfy me more than doing this to you,"

"Az…don't stop please," You moaned as his finger that were still moving inside your aching pussy were going faster now under the water, your pleasure is getting higher and more recent by the second. You were thinking of nothing else but him making you reach your peak, his hard body in front of you, and how you could feel his cock harden and be pressed against your thigh, his breath along your neck and his teeth nipping at you to bring you closer to the edge. But it was when you hooked your arms around his neck just as his hand on the wood by your head moved to run his finger along one of your wings to bring you white-binding pleasure.

Your moan was so loud it echoed off the top of the lake.

"Let go for me, sweetheart," he begged, his fingers tracing your wing again to make you shutter and let out another gut-wrenching moan from the tingling sensation of your wing being caressed, one of the most sensitive parts of your body. Azriel was clearly using it against you and for himself, you've done it to him in the past as well since it was such a pleasure point for Illryians. Now you were literally melting in his hold, about to fall over the edge into pure bliss.

"I wanna see you cum on my fingers," he whispered against your cheek as his fingers were now pumping rapidly, his other hand moving from your wing to sink into your hair and kept you in one spot, "Watching you cum is one of the most…fuck…most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life. Please, baby. Please cum for me—"

You screamed, your orgasm washing over you like a massive title wave.

The rest of your senses were white hot, nothing else was running through your brain but pleasure that was going on for what seemed like long minutes, not seconds. All you could do was feel, from the top of your head to your toes and even along the membrane in your wings. It even felt like you were flying, soaring over the clouds and amongst the stars.

You wanted and chased that feeling, and now feeling again thanks to Azriel.

Azriel watched you unravel, his eyes wide in amazement and filled with pure genuine love as he watched you ride out the pleasure that was now seeping into your bones. To him, you were the true rare form of beauty that brightened his darkest days and warmed the coldest of nights he would have. He would give you any treasure or trinket that would bring you joy, move mountains for you if you asked him to, and kill any being that would threaten your life. You were everything to him, from the moment you two met in your youth with no hope for a bright future.

You were in fact a shooting star that soared into his vision.

After you finally calmed down, you slowly blinked at Azriel as he reached to cup your face cradling you close in his hold. Although you were barely shaking, you hummed as your forehead touched and Azriel softly smiled while you were nestled against him.

"Hi," You breathed, a grin on your blissed-out face as Azriel chuckled and nuzzled your nose against his.

"Hi," He repeated, then pressing a soothing kiss against your lips.

"We should do this more,"

"What? Have a proper getaway just the two of us?"

"Why not?"

You giggled, the fingers that were in Azriel's hair still making a soothing rhythm against his scalp as his head was on your bare belly, his fingers tracing along your hips and the soft skin near your bellybutton while the rest of his body was nestled between your parted legs. The soft sounds of the nightlife in the mountains came through the open window of the master bedroom, both you and Azriel were simply drinking in the silence while tangled in each other arms.

Morning was not too far away, the twilight stars were especially bright in the mountains as some birds were starting to sing. You looked out at the dark blue sky, the smallest hints of the morning coming over the mountaintops as your fingers were still raking Azriel's locks with ease.

The last several hours were filled with pleasurable bliss, starting of course in the lake against the pier and then ending up tangled in the master suite on the king-sized bed. Every moment you shared was spell-bounding, Azriel taking you on the couch as he ate you out to make you see stars, then carrying you bridal style into the master tub amongst the warm water doused in oils and scented bubbles as you rode him and made him come apart. In the end, he held you in his arms as he pounded into you repeatedly to cum at least two more times.

Although you both had a healthy sex life, it felt ten times better. Almost like you two were truthfully reuniting as lovers again after being away in such an intimate way for so long. You loved your life, you lived in the small little cottage you had and the two-year-old son that you both were parenting together.

This life you had was a pure blessing, but you did miss this. Having your mate all yourself at this level and this deeply. It wasn't just about sex with Azriel, it was sharing your body and your life with him and having no walls up because of that. You both worked hard on each other to break down those walls you had around one another, through plenty of fights and arguments along with long talks and confessions. In the end, this beautiful relationship you two had nurtured and helped flourish over centuries was better than ever.

"I've missed this," Azriel hummed, his head along your belly as his fingers were running up and down your thighs as you watched him with a smile, "Just having this time with you and not worrying about anything else. This just feels..."

"Happy?" You suggested, your fingers massaging his scalp as he grinned.

"Feels like home." He mumbled, you paused with your fingers as he wrapped his arms around your hips and snuck a kiss along your belly, "You were always home to me: no matter how far I went, I always would come back to you."

"You're my home too," you replied softly, Azriel blinking slowly as he held you a pinch tighter and you grinned, "You and Alec are my home, and even before we had him you were my home and center."

"But still….I have missed this," Azriel confessed, then looked up at you with his hazel eyes making your heart skip a beat. His ruffled hair from your fingers, the flushness in his cheeks that made his eyes bright, even the way he parted his lips and his skin was glowing from the soft light that was lit in the bedroom.

He looked beyond heavenly, he always did.

"Me too," You admitted, Azriel cracking a smile as he then moved up the bed to be face to face with you, almost nose to nose as his arms and fingers were around your bare back. His body heat made you barely shiver as he searched your eyes.

"Maybe we can try this again every once in a while," Azriel suggested while he pushed some of your hair out of your eyes, "Have it be something we can look forward to: A mini honeymoon,"

"You can't call it a honeymoon if we're already married, baby," You reminded him as he chuckled.

"I think we can, and if I could I would marry you as many times as I could," He admitted to you, having you look at him with a hint of shock. Perhaps it was the post-coital bliss and high you were feeling, or how Azriel was looking at you with so much love in his eyes, but you were speechless.

"You would?" You asked sheepishly, seeing his smile widened slightly as he nodded his head.

"I would marry you every day," He vowed, you taking in a short breath as he reached up to cup your jaw lovingly with one hand, "I know I have told you this thousands of times, but I do mean it: You have changed me in the best way and I don't ever wish to not have you in my life. I consider you my better half, and I will do anything, be anything, to keep what we have for the rest of my life,"

"Az," You cooed, leaning in to nuzzle his nose and feel some tears escaping your eyes. You loved and craved it when Azriel was soft and soothing in both his tone and in his gestures, no need to be harsh and hard when he was the Spymaster. This side of him, the side he only wants to show to you behind closed doors, was the side you would take for the rest of your life.

He loved you, cherished you, and made you his priority before anything and anyone else.

"Let me marry you again," He said almost in a plea, tracing the tears away with his thumb, "One time Is not enough for us, I think. At least not for me,"

"Just to keep me to yourself?" You teased wetly as you cried some more, grinning like mad as Azriel's smile never wavered, "What a selfish fool you must be,"

"I've been called worse," he replied smoothly and with no hesitation, "But I'm willing to be a fool for you. As long as I can marry you again and call you mine,"

"I am yours, Azriel," You reassured him, "And you are mine. And if you want to marry me again, then let's do it,"

Azriel peppered you with kisses as you giggled and squealed, yet when you tried to push him away he held you close with an arm around you and his hand still tracing your jaw. It was still fresh and new with him as if you two fell into bed for the first time so long ago. Back then, it felt like the future was bright and thriving in front of both of you as your paths were now molding into one amazing path. That path never broke apart, it moved and swerved as time went on, maybe a crack or two here and there along with hills and valleys to conquer.

But the path was still there and still moving forward, a pinch bigger thanks to the birth of Alec.

The End

Tagged - @valeridarkness @impossibelle @acourtofbatboydreams @prettylittlewrites @fxckmiup

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treadsuren · 1 month

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I said it once and I'll say it again, This is a quote that you have to pay close attention .

Feyre POV - A Court of Silver Flames (Barnes and Noble Exclusive Edition)

“Don't forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one's hands dirty along the way."

“And torn up by thorns," I mused, recalling a morning this past summer when Elain had come into the house, Her Right Palm bleeding from several gashes thanks to a stubborn rosebush that had pierced her gloves. The thorns had broken off in her skin, leaving sharp splinters that I’d had to pull free.I didn’t dare mention that if she had been wearing the enchanted gloves Lucien had gotten her last Solstice, nothing would have pierced them at all.

#lucien #lucien vanserra #elucien #elain x lucien #pro lucien vanserra #elain archeron #lucien acotar #acotar

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acotar-taylorsversion · 3 months

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Gwynriels and eluciens, this soft launch of Elriel and Elain being the next main character is for you guys cause you guys obviously don’t get it.

We know it’s not a confirmation, but like Sarah has said, isn’t it obvious? We know it’s coming.

Acotar isn’t about a Pegasus, or priestesses, or valkyries, or whatever it is you guys think GWYN (and not emerie for some reason) is gonna do for the illyrians, none of that. Like Azriel hates the illyrians, he’s not gonna do anything to fix or help them, that would be Cassian, who actually loves his people despite what they’ve done. It’s about FEYRE and her sisters, and their stories and choices. It’s always gonna be centered around the archerons.

Those of us that have been around since the beginning, like since 2015 like me, have sensed this from the beginning. It’s been obvious ever since Elain and Azriel met in mist and fury and then again when rejecting a mate and questioning the cauldron was brought up in wings and ruin.

I’m sick and tired of this idiotic ship war, especially when one of the ships doesn’t even exist in canon. Like Sarah never talks about gwyn, never talks about Lucien anymore. She only mentions Elain and Azriel and you guys can’t connect the dots. Well, I think you can, you guys just refuse to accept what the rest of fandom knows. The next book is gonna be Elain and Azriel’s story and then the last acotar book is more than likely gonna be a multi pov book, similar to kingdom of ash, centered around the 3 main couples and their friends as they defeat the big bad and finish the series.

Sorry for the rant. I’ll probably get bitched at or a screen shot will be taken and I’ll be trashed on the other side. I’m just tired of the other side treating us like we’re the delusional ones. Sometimes they make no sense at all, it’s comical.

#acotar #elain archeron #elriel #anti g*ynriel #pro elriel #azriel shadowsinger #acotar 5 #anti el*cien #anti gwynriel #anti elucien

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thehighladywrites · 3 months

Text

The Airhead Chronicles

… and the explanation

-> pairing: cassian x bimbo/ditzy reader, nesta archeron, feyre archeron

-> summary: You meet the third Archeron sister, what could she possibly want? Secret and past relationships get discussed

-> warnings: light angst, I had to vilify Nesta, even tho I adore her. Feyre is just fucking hot in this, cuddling, hurt to comfort, reader getting flashbacks/thoughts about her old life, cassian protecting his mate, oh and giving him a blowjob so nsfw lol, also reader is fucked.

-> amara’s note: sorry for the wait, i changed the plot like a million times. seriously, there are versions with super angst, versions where nesta poisons cassian and brainwashes him, there are just crazy plots but i hope you like this one💗💗 also this is probably the final chapter bc i have nothing else left. there will be one vacation chapter later and that’s it💗💗 soon i’ll be posting nerd azriel x bimbo reader, stay tuned👀👀

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

“Cassie, baby, who is she?”

Anger filled cassian at the vulnerability in your voice. How dared Nesta speak to you like that? In his anger, he hadn’t realized that he had flinched away from your touch. Looking down at you, his hardened eyes softened.

You looked up at him with a worried expression, eyes filled with fear. He realized what this looked like and hurried himself to explain.

“She’s Feyre and Elain’s sister.”

Nesta’s scoff echoed through his chambers as she stalked closer, keeping eye contact with him. You hadn’t even realized what she was wearing, she was dressed in a very short night gown and robe.

Wait, was she in here for Cassian?

No, Feyre and Rhys told you that Nesta wasn’t present at dinner today but she was aware of the two of you.

This isn’t making any sense, maybe she’s confused. Because no one goes after a mated fae, right? Yes, that’s it! She must be confused.

She had to be fucking confused because you really didn’t like how close she was standing to him.

Stepping forward you gave her a sickly sweet smile,

“You’re like really pretty, I can tell you’re their sister but you’re too close to my mate. Back off.”

Nesta looked at you bewildered,

“Excuse you? I'm merely talking to him. Are you not allowed friends, Cassian? Don't you find that a tad controlling?” she delivered with a mix of disdain and sharp sarcasm, her words cutting through the air like a blade.

She stepped closer to you and you had never seen so much hate in a persons eye.

“And who do you think you are? I’ve known him for several years, so if I want a moment to talk to him then it’s what I shall have.”

You smiled at her ready to punch her,

“You’re dressed like a slut in his room. I mean there’s nothing wrong with it, we all should embrace our inner sluts but just not with my mate, okay? Either back off or I’ll make you back off and that’s just a hassle. I mean, I just got these nails and my outfit is too cute for blood!”

Before she could step closer, Cassian grabbed your arm and pulled you back as he kept an unreadable face towards Nesta.

“Give us a moment.”

Your stomach dropped as you caught her secret smile. Why did they need to be alone? Had you done something? Oh Gods would he go back to her now? He wouldn’t do that right?

Flashbacks from your past came back, men would have their fun and then leave you. It was a big insecurity you had and you just hoped it wasn’t like that.

“But-”

“One moment.”

His firm words made your throat close up, you always got emotional when someone raised your voice at you, so to save face, you ripped your arm out of his grip, not once looking back as you hurried out of his room ready to leave.

—

Cassian’s pov:

As the doors closed, Cassian glanced back at the door with nausea as he heard your sobs. In that moment, he wished he could be closer to you. The safety he felt with you was incomparable to anyone else. The need to comfort you was taking over.

“She is as stupid as a bag of rocks. You’ve seriously mated with her?”

Cassian's head whipped towards Nesta, anger simmering in his eyes. He couldn't stand her condescending tone and the comment that belittled you.

Cassian's voice was firm and filled with a lethal edge as he addressed Nesta,

“I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re doing, but you need to leave. I don’t care what you think we had, if you ever speak to my mate like that again, I’ll kill you.”

His words were clipped as he practically spit them at her. Nesta still not grasping his rage and annoyence, started pulling on the strings of her robe, trying to undress.

“Please, you know you would be happier and more satisfied with me. Don’t you remember the times you took me like some rabid beast in bed? You can’t honestly tell me you don’t miss me.”

She got closer and closer, but before she could touch his body, he grabbed her forearm.

Cassian maintained a strong grip on her, pulling her closer. His voice was unwavering, “As I said, you insulted my mate and you’re directly ignoring what I’m saying. I don’t miss you in the slightest, Nesta. I’m finally happy, and I feel sorry that you must resort to this.”

She pulled her arm back roughly and again scoffed,

“Love always made you disgustingly weak.”

Cassian chuckled, “Loving you sure did. But with her, it has made me stronger than ever. It's a pity you don't understand that strength.”

He pivoted and stared out the window as he delivered his last words to her.

“Even if she wasn’t my mate, it would have never been us. So, don’t ever disrespect her like this again. And if I find out you’ve said anything else to or about her, there would be no one in this world stopping me from getting you.”

His words were casual and promising as if he wasn’t talking about literally murdering her for even speaking ill to you.

——

You tried not to cry, but being the sensitive soul you were, tears just couldn't resist. Ugh, talk about embarrassing! How on earth were you supposed to face that girl again? And when you replayed his tone in your head, the waterworks just cranked up a notch.

Trying to find your way through Rhysand's massive mansion, you got easily distracted. Oh, look, a beautiful painting! You gazed up at the massive artwork that covered most of the wall. It showed a life-sized scene with Rhysand, Feyre, Elain, Amren, Mor, Azriel, and—hold on—Nesta and Cassian sitting very close. Wait, no, she was sitting on top of him. What the fuck? Were they a thing before you? Why didn't he tell you? He just casually mentioned she was the third Archeron sister, conveniently skipping the whole history chapter.

Great. The male you mated with was just like every lying piece of shit out there. You rolled your eyes at the situation, irritated that you once again realized that males only wanted one thing from you and after they were done, moved on to another. You couldn’t lie, it really stung, especially with the bond but you’d survive.

“I was supposed to throw that away tomorrow.”

Feyre's gentle voice reached your ears, prompting you to lift your head in her direction. With a sorrowful expression, you acknowledged her, doing your best to hold back tears.

Feyre had been a true friend; you had loved her from the moment Rhysand introduced her to you. She was incredibly funny, offered great advice, and was the perfect companion for gossip. Many times, you had found solace in her arms when someone broke your heart, and you knew that if she asked how you felt now, tears would be inevitable.

“Oh, hi Fey. Is this a secret painting or something?”

She gave you her signature soft smile, moving closer as she looked at her painting.

“No, honey, not secret. Old. This was something I painted a few years ago. And it is not needed anymore, so I was getting rid of it since no one wanted the reminder up.”

“Be honest Fey, were they a couple?”

She looked hesitant to answer but sighed and explained,

“They thought they were mates. They were together, yes, but there was a lot of miscommunication and fights. Nesta became very closed off and wanted nothing to do with Cassian after a while. They broke up, and it became a big shift in our family. Now she lives in her own apartment, and we barely see her. Every night we invite her for dinner, but she doesn’t even bother declining; she just doesn’t come.”

Your brain just focused on the fact that they were almost mates. And now she was upstairs in a closed room with your real mate. What the hell was she doing here if she deliberately declined every dinner Feyre invited her to?

“Well, surprise, she’s here. Yeah, that’s right, she’s upstairs talking to him right now.”

“Wait, what? She’s here? What is she doing with Cassian? She said she never wanted to be around him ever again.”

You felt nauseous. She was trying to win him back. Your man, she was wanting YOUR man now that he was locked up and unavailable.

Feyre’s muffled words pulled you out of your thoughts as you asked her to repeat herself, too busy in your own mind to hear her the first time.

“I said let’s go up to them. What could they possibly be talking about that you don’t need to hear? Let’s go.”

She grabbed your hand, and you could tell she was totally pissed off. You smiled a little to yourself. Maybe you didn’t even need to say anything after all.

You climbed up the stairs as your heels clicked against every step. Ugh, you really needed a few inches off.

You froze at the thought. Had you really reached rock bottom? Shaking your head at the rash thought you kept climbing. You’d rather fucking die than not use your many, many heels.

The door opened up, and both of you stopped in your tracks. Nesta stepped out of the room and looked between you and Feyre before her lips twitched in a cruel smile. She pulled her robe tighter and glanced back into the room, fixing her hair as she shoved right past you, all while smiling and hitting both of your shoulders.

You felt like time stopped. Your stomach dropped, and your throat closed up. Honestly, you didn’t know who to confront first – the homewrecking bitch or the cheating bastard.

There was no missing her insinuation. Come on, you saw what she wore under her robe – a piece of lace and nothing more. And now she was pulling it tighter to her? Yeah right, they totally fucked.

Okay, the cheating bastard it was since Feyre turned around and grabbed Nesta’s arm, pushing her into the wall.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You ignore my invitations, and now you’re back in Cassian’s room? To what? To show him how distasteful you are? Why, in the Mother’s name, would you go inside, dressed like this when you know he has a mate? I thought you, of all people, would know more about class, Nesta.”

Nesta looks you dead in the eyes as she just smiles again and shrugs Feyre off.

“He will come back to me eventually. Cassian knows where his true feelings lie.”

“I’ve never called another girl a bitch, because that’s like so weird but you’re the biggest, grade A bitch i’ve met in my life. I’m mated to him, not you. And keep one eye open, because I will so kick your ass when you least expect it.”

You had an acrylic nail pointing to her. You also give her an annoyed look before turning around, leaving her with Feyre as you open up the room to see Cassian looking out the window.

“Please, tell me she didn’t do what I think she did. Because I will actually kill you both.”

Cassian turned around with a tired expression and stepped forward before picking you up with one arm and bringing you to the foot of his bed. He began undressing, leathers and siphons discarded on a nearby table. He pulled you closer and began undressing you too which put a crease in your brow.

“I love getting fucked but sex isn’t the answer, Cassie. I don’t like feeling left out, so just explain.”

He looked at you with soft eyes before kissing your forehead and lifting you up again. He strode to the other side of the bed before gently putting you down and sliding underneath the sheets. He pulled you impossibly closer until you were almost on top of him with your head on his chest and took a breather before explaining.

“She tried to undress and then get me back, but I made it clear that it wasn't something I wanted. It's a really long story, but Nesta used to be closed off, pushing people away to shield herself from getting hurt. After facing a lot of challenges, we got together, but we just weren't a good fit. We clashed a lot, and she eventually reverted to her old ways. The breakup was messy, but honestly, we're both better off without each other.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened. Sympathy and pain for them surged within you, yet a selfish relief that you still had him to yourself.

“Tonight, she panicked when she saw you. I said no, asked her to leave, but then she tried to undress. I firmly kicked her out. I'm sorry for dismissing you like that, sweetheart. I know her well, and she might have said something to you. I don't think I could have held back if she did.”

Oh, that explains why she was fixing her robe! Phew, the sight nearly made you sick.

While you briefly considered telling Cassian about Nesta's earlier words about where his feelings lie, you decided to leave it at that. You're definitely planning to kick her ass someday, just not right now. Your current priority is to snuggle up to your Cassie and comfort him.

A sweet kiss and blowjob, just as you promised, seems like the perfect remedy to make everything better.

You shift your head and look up at his tired face.

Maybe just the kiss today, you decide. He looked very tired and-

“A blowjob sounds mighty fine, sweet girl.”

Your eyes widen a bit as your cheeks heat at his words. You then remember that he knew what you were thinking because of the bond. He could be really forward sometimes, your perfect match.

“I was just thinking of giving you one but you seem really, really tired, Cassie. Ya still want one from me?”

He shifted, grabbing your hips before sitting you upright on his lap so that you straddled his lying body.

“Sugar, I’ll take anything you have to offer me.”

He let out a deep chuckle at the way your face lit up with a smile as you let out a shriek of excitement.

Your hands eagerly tore the blanket away, shifting down to get eye-level with his cock.

“This is all mine, no one in the whole world will ever get it, ever. Just mine.”

Cassian raised himself onto his elbows, gazing at you before offering reassurance,

"Only yours, sweet one. Forever."

You smile at him before you wrap your plush lips around his leaking tip, humming when he groans in pleasure.

Your entire body heats at his needy sounds. There was nothing you loved than making Cassian feel good. His hisses and little ‘ fuck, right there baby’ was filling you up with pride and was really giving you an ego boost. It was you making him feel like this, you who he loved more than anything.

The thought alone made your pussy wet. The scary 6’7 general of The Night Court, one of the most feared and skilled warriors in history was nothing more than a babbling mess infront of you.

Cassian lets you take your time, allowing you to get used to his size. He lets you take control even though all he wants to do is bury his cock deep in you. So when you run your tongue into his slit, his hips jerk and his cock hits the back of your throat, making you gag on him.

“There’s my girl, so fucking perfect for me. Can you take me all the way, baby?”

You nod and take him deeper before you swallow, making your throat contract around his whole lenght. He gasps then pulls out with a pop, looking at you bewildered. You however just stared at him irritated, huffing at the disruption.

“Cassie, I wasn’t done! Why did you pull out, I almost had you,” you whine at him.

“Exactly. And we’re not done yet. I plan on fucking you until you can’t think straight.”

Cassian pulled you closer, putting a fat kiss on your lips before getting on top of you and fulfilling his promise to you.

He fucked you so hard, you passed out from the intensity. You had cum over and over again, time not registering in your brain.

As you sat together, the atmosphere turned sweet, and you found solace in the connection. All you knew was the comfort of his being, engulfing you.

—

You both lay there exhausted, wrapped in each other's arms, the once turbulent bond now a tranquil river of love and understanding.

“You wanna tell me about your shopping trip yesterday, sweets?” he asked, eager to hear your voice light up with excitement as you shared details about your latest fashion finds. Your ability to bring a sense of peace and light with the simplest conversations made Cassian feel an unmatched warmth. He knew he'd never love anyone as deeply as he loved you.

Throughout the night and into the next morning, you talked about everything under the sun. You even took a moment to explore his old room, running your fingers over his old possessions and playfully trying on his oversized leathers. The connection between you two felt stronger than ever, a testament to the depth of your bond.

Again, he thought about how there was no one he would ever love as much as he loved you.

Cassian was in deep, deep water and he wasn’t planning on ever getting out.

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