#one of the moms ever

[cheeseproducts]

parenting expert

#neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #misato katsuragi #shinji ikari #asuka langley shikinami #this applies to soryu too ofc #one of the moms ever #my art

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[pangur-and-grim]

I was visited by a flea

#Curie #one of my mom's two cats #she's the smallest adult cat I've ever met #for whatever reason she and Grim have this huge beef where they scream at each other but never make contact

[suiheisen]

you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank #he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :') #he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated #but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING #drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay... #also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger......... #geno kept Hovering in concern #po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog #ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both #also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited #anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a #long post #sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #pittsburgh penguins #also!!! to all who celebrate #ramadan kareem/eid mubarak #<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good

[clown-eating-pig]

I really love gertrude robinson bc how often do you get an older woman character who just really sucks? She sacrifices ppl that trust her. She is so focused on keeping the world from ending that she completely doesn’t notice one of her assistants routinely torturing the others. She dismembered a guy. She does her job badly on purpose. She’s cunning and sneaky. She dares her murderous, immortality seeking boss to kill her. She gets murdered by her murderous, immortality seeking boss. She’s not particularly friendly. She somehow had access to plastic explosives. She’s a manipulator and a liar. She’s bound to the avatar of destruction. She helped a guy get rid of a pig by telling him to put it in conk crete. She is like the opposite of a sweet little grandma and that’s beautiful.

#tma #tma spoilers #the magnus archives #gertrude robinson #I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fanon interpretation of her being kind and motherly #and that’s sooooo amazing to me #bc female characters (esp older ones) #are so often relegated to being the mom friend or some similar trope that completely ignores their personality #so I love that she gets to be just the most morally gray old woman #with an amazing voice #ever #tma podcast #what if I fell in love with her #what are you gonna do about it? #nothing!! #you can’t! #can’t wait to be sacrificed <333

[chaiichait]

You know that trope of a very hardened strict mother-figure that is actually just an embarrassingly sweet mess in closed doors with the people she trusts? Yeah

#yall ever read morgana and oz? #literally morgana's mom #first jurdan moment in awhile #a whil #e #jude being terrifying when with others but cuddly with cardan is so cute #THE PROLOGUE 😔😔😔 #we are getting ts11 one month after tpt #tfota #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #jude duarte #cardan #jude #the wicked king #cardan greenbriar #jurdan #holly black #the prisoners throne #the prisoner's throne #the queen of nothing #the stolen heir #oak greenbriar #high king of elfhame #high king cardan #high queen jude #high queen of elfhame

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Dick and Bruce never had their falling out and Robin passed peacefully from Dick to Jason upon his adoption.

It was harmonious. It was great. Jason didn’t only get a dad out of jacking the batmobile’s tires, he got Dick, too. Some weird cross between goofy older brother and protective mom. Dick and Bruce have an actual fight about which of them gets to legally adopt him.

So when Jason dies and comes back to life, his single minded focus isn’t only on returning to Bruce. It‘s also set on returning to Dick.

Meanwhile, Jason‘s death absolutely destroyed Dick.

And now there’s a madman with a red helmet running the streets of Blüdhaven and Gotham City who thinks it’s okay to call him “mom” and Dick hasn’t been this pissed since he found out about Joker‘s continued survival.

#Jason calling dick mom started out as a joke #when he was still Robin #and Bruce and dick argued about Jason’s bedtime #and then the nickname stuck #and eventually dick responded to it #no he’s NOT tearing up about this tiny kid looking up to him as a parent #anyway mom dick grayson #or well some cross between a mom and a fun dad #Bruce is the protective but slightly aloof father #point is: when red hood starts calling him ‘mom’ mockingly #Nightwing absolutely loses it #no one is allowed to call him that ever again #not after Jason #not even Tim #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #tim drake #red hood #fic #batman #Nightwing

[jvlianbashir]

sometimes you just need to be an american and eat some childrens' cereal that has colors not found in nature

#also when did cereal start costing so much wtf #apologizing to my mom for ever begging her as a kid to get more than one kind #*US american specifically #not st #food #doctor's log

[fulgurbugs]

Insanest concept my roommate has pitched thus far

#this also sparked the debate is big mom homophobic? this requires further deliberation. #one piece #fanart #myart #doodle time 😎 #me and my roommate on our way to create the stupidest ooc one piece take you’ve ever heard in you life (for funsies ❤️)

[catmask]

what is it about trying to learn health facts or hygeine or body care that after a certain point it tailspins into online fanaticism. why does my mom believe gut health powders meditation and sunlight mean she will never die or age. girl i just want to find a good yogurt brand

#we're trying different yogurts bc our kid (also has autism) is super super food picky #moreso than i ever was as a kid #forrest never had issues with food more sensory things like sound and heat/textile stuff #whereas i was super super picky BUT. i was always introduced to something of at least diff food groups #so even if i onyl atelike 6 things id always have One vegetable. One probiotic. One protein source. u get the deal #we only recently got our kid to start eating fish sticks and chicken and even beef! #so hes got protein down. before he only at chips and frozen mini pizzas. like thats literally it #and he eats bananas and strawberries. we got him vitamin/protein drinks for the time being so hes not nutrient deficient #and he likes those theyre chocolate #but we're trying to find a yogurt he doesnt mind bc he doesnt have like. any. digestive or fiber ro like anything ot help him #i dont want him to feel sick and sluggish all the time . we've had a lot of success with the drinkable yogurts #but talking abuot this made my mom start talking about gut health.......

[copypastus]

Feyre's selective hearing is the origin of my villain arc.

#my art #acotar #acotar fanart #rhysand #feyre archeron #feysand #acomaf #anti feyre #anti sjm #rhys killed his tamily too feyre! #that was a pretty important part of that story! #he melted his brother's brains! #his dad killed tamlin's mom even tho he promised him he wouldn't #wow what are the odds tamlin went through something similar when rhys's mom and sister got killed #rhys wasn't there #AND NO ONE BOTHERS TO ASK HIM #srsly tho i get it she's fully on board the tamlin hate train at this point #but the way she twists every little thing the man does to be him being an asshole on purpose is just >_> #tamlin did nothing wrong ever in his life

[weebsinstash]

I'm not typically a fan of pregnancy au stuff for hazbin because it introduces a hell lotta new questions, but anyways, I DO find it absolutely entertaining thinking about a Reader who did the nasty with Alastor and had kind of a friends-with-benefits situation with him and he does his whole 7 year disappearing act without warning you or telling you anything at all (assumedly because he did not have a choice or opportunity) and he comes back, knocking on your front door, "say, doll! What's say we mosey on over to our old favorite jazz club to catch up on old times?"

and suddenly peeking out from behind your back is just the cutest little fawn with a head full of curls who is very clearly Alastor's son, clutching at your apron, "Mama, isn't he the man you listen to those old recordings of? He sounds the same"

Alastor feeling this, this WARMTH in his chest as you invite him inside your home and it's completely different from the last time he was there, filled with everything your son could need, his drawings and report cards from that nice school you break your back to afford stuck lovingly on the fridge and a hot home-cooked meal currently cooling on the stove as Alastor's invited for some food... if he feels comfortable. You and him discuss privately where your son can't hear as you get all weepy, "I'm sorry, but when you disappeared, I couldn't... ASK you what you would have wanted... I didn't want to have some kind of, of PROCEDURE and you hate me for it... and even from the very first scan, I loved him so much... he's my entire world... I couldn't even CONSIDER... getting rid of him. He's my beautiful smart baby boy and i would die for him"

Genuinely I think it would be real funny if Alastor is initially quite jealous actually for having to share you with a CHILD, but the more time he spends around the young boy, the more he realizes, oh, this is quite the upstanding young fellow! His mama raised him right and he likes to help around the house, likes to read lots of books, loves all kinds of music, helps his mother on all the crosswords and word searches and puzzle books, and he's smart enough to suss out pretty quickly, "sir are you my father"

and the second your son receives an answer, just, KICKING THE RADIO DEMON IN THE SHIN, "You're a horrible man!! You call yourself a gentleman but you left my mama to raise a baby all by herself!! You're terrible! Incorrigible! Disrespectful! Untoward!--" Your young son is breaking out the goddamn dictionary and synonyms on this man, "you lying, deceitful, devious, DEPLORABLE--"

And Alastor is watching this little kid threaten to beat his ass and not even caring that he's up against The Infamous Radio Demon, just shouting at Alastor until the young boy is absolutely changing colors in the face, getting SO SO upset for his mama that he's ready to FIGHT OVER IT, and Alastor is just, essentially, breaking out into laughter, "oh, so you ARE my son!! Aren't you a gutsy one!! Put JUST a little force behind that next one and it might actually sting a bit!" and pats the boy on the head. That settles it; he's accepted as Alastor's son like THAT

Of course, Alastor now caring for this boy does not come without its... complications. There might be some 'incidents' if you, for example, have other positive role models for your son, other men who are regularly coming around, making Alastor's new position as the boy's father and your not-quite-husband (yet) feel threatened and unstable and encouraging the Radio Demon to 'act out'. You're so happy to have Alastor back in your life that you don't even notice things are a little off until your son starts mentioning things like "Mama where did Mr Thomas go? He used to come by every Thursday to play chess but I don't remember seeing him for a while?" "Mama I know Benson has bullied me and pushed me down and stolen my things but I saw his mom crying outside the bookstore earlier saying he's gone missing and I think we should help look for him" "Mama I know Mr Alastor said we don't need her and he can teach me but I also like my old piano teacher. Could I have some lessons with her and some with Mr Alastor instead of just all of them with him? I miss Ms. Mason"

But like... you don't want to deny Alastor a relationship with his child after they both have already lost so much time and you don't want to deprive your son of his father without a good reason, so you stifle some of your suspicions. It's all for your son's sake, isn't it? And you can't help but, get a little selfish when Alastor insists on taking you and your boy out, going to see live bands, going to local events, taking your son to the county fair and you feeling tears in your eyes as, your boy finally gets to spend time with his father. It's like... it's like you're a real family... you've always wanted something like this, for him, for them, for yourself--

But... Alastor doesn't... see you THAT way, does he? He displays his emotions much differently than you, and there were even times in the past where Alastor himself drew the line in the sand that, oh yes you two were quite close friends, he has such a deep affection for you, but... romantically? Sorry, sweetheart, but no

... or so he thought. Now that he's back, he sees how deeply you love his son and sacrifice so much for him amd how much your son absolutely adores you and how, completely by yourself, without any of Alastor's help, you raised him into a fine young man that... the Radio Demon could see himself helping raise, a boy he can't help but feel a little pride in helping make and, can't help but feel a little sad he missed all sorts of important milestones for. And of course, of course of course of course, he missed YOU ever so much, and when Alastor looks up from his paper to see you at the stove, hair all out of place and your hands messy as you cook a meal for your son and his father, your little boy dutifully helping clean as you go, he can't help wish that THIS was how he spent his last 7 years.

Lucifer have mercy on anyone who tries to disrupt his new utopia of peace and tranquility. Could you even imagine, could you even fucking imagine you and Alastor are walking with your son and nearby TVs snap on and it's fucking Vox, showing your family on TV, talking shit to Alastor, using HORRIBLE language in front of your son--

And Alastor feels his love for you grow all the more as you use your own magic to surge through the television and begin strangling the newscaster right on the air, "DONT YOU DARE SHOW MY SON'S FACE ON TV YOU FUCKING--" and Alastor starts lovingly conversing with his son about how important it is to stand up for your family and your values as the pair of them watch you throw Vox around his recording studio in a frenzied rage, "You and your disgusting Vees always trying to peddle your worthless garbage to kids, you CREEPS!! BABIES DON'T NEED IPADS, RETINOL CREAMS, SKEEYEE DANCE ROUTINES, AND ATHLEISUREWEAR LEGGINGS THAT GO UP THEIR ASS, YOU CONSUMERIST IMMORAL SHELL OF A HUMAN BEING--"

Snapcut to you rejoining your family on the sidewalk with your hair a mess and visible blood on you while Vox is facedown on the floor in his broadcast unable to move before it cuts to a "technical difficulties, please stand by" screen. Alastor is oh so genuinely joyfully smiling, "Now who wants to go and get some waffles? I say we should celebrate any victory over our enemies with some tasty grub!!" and he takes you and your son's hands and is all but skipping down the sidewalk while his hated rival is bleeding out in his tower somewhere. Oh, Alastor will give the Television Demon his own revenge for daring to try and shame the lovely beautiful mother of his child and his beloved boy on that disgusting show. What kind of degenerate uses children for content, let alone threatens their safety? Alastor will be back for him later and do much, MUCH worse than you did.

For now, though? Alastor just wants to enjoy the sight of you and his son sitting in a booth with him while you all scarf down some hotcakes. A family of his very own, huh? How wonderful. If only his own mom were here to see it...

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere x reader #alastor x reader #hh #sinprompts #god do you ever think about how people in hell feel miserable if their family is on heaven #you dont WANT your loved one to be suffering in hell but... if thwy were at least you could still see them #catch me crying out here piss drunk to alastor because my mom/granny are in heaven and he nods knowingly bc his mom isnt down there either

[theexorcistiii]

Cant believe I never posted my guitar! I covered it in cutouts from my moms big old anatomy book :)

#one of the cooler & sexier projects I’ve ever done imo #the guitar itself is a hand me down from my stepdad it was like a build ur own guitar situation #the little eyes on the back r from magazines n the heart on the rib cage is some red plastic paper I had but everything else is from an #anatomy book my mom had from when she went to massage school :) all mod podged on (my stepdad sanded it first for me) #my art #ask to tag?? it’s a lot I guess but like idk how I’d tag it so lmk #OH & the eyes on the knobs r doll eyes from eBay

[ironinkpen]

The interpretation of Rise Raph as a 'perfect responsible soft boy uwu' is so BORING I'm sorry, Raph is a rowdy adrenaline junkie with anxiety and I won't take this slander any longer

Raph secretly kept an enemy soldier in their actual literal house as a sparring partner. Raph glued his brothers together and dragged them out to fight crime. Raph once asked Leo to punch him in the face to prove he 'takes damage like a boss.' Raph tried to lift a school bus, twice. Raph offered to help his favorite wrestler beat his little brother up. When Leo suggests evacuating Bullhop, Raph says no bc the best defense is a good offense babey. Raph's idea of a 'friendly chat' with April's upstairs neighbor is to put on a black ski mask and go stand menacingly at their door. It takes Raph 10 episodes to conclude that they should MAYBE start training. Raph's plan to get a potentially priceless (and potentially FRAGILE) museum artifact is to punch a car in the middle of a busy street and also cut it in half with his brother still inside.

Raph's never met a problem he wouldn't try to punch in the face and does not know the meaning of the words 'excessive force.' He roughhouses with his bros and drags them out to fight villains and thinks any plan that doesn't involve an all-out brawl is boring and lame. He'll do anything to protect his family from harm and be a hero, but also he eats wet salami off the floor and once single-handedly destroyed a library.

I just adore how, at his core, Rise Raph is such a classic Raph—impulsive and stubborn and caring and passionate. He is a very sweet, strong, honorable guy who has a very powerful sense of personal responsibility... and he is also the exact kind of jock who throws you in the pool at a party without checking if you have your phone in your pocket first.

#rottmnt #rottmnt raph #raph #don't worry then he'll freak out and buy you a new one #anyway! raph rules!!!!! #and i think the movie has made some people interpret him as like the 'responsible mom' character which is a bummer #bc that's really not him at all #like this is not even NEARLY a complete list of raph's shenanigans #he's a hooligan a fool a dumbass (affectionate) #he loves big flashy exciting fights and does not spare a single thought to stealth 90% of the time #he gets distracted on missions taking selfies with pizza pigeons and wrestlers #and gets annoyed in eps like Bug Busters when leo suggests being more cautious #he would die for his brothers but also he's definitely the type to like. walk into their rooms and sit on them for fun #he values responsibility so much but also makes the most batshit decisions ever #and has probably caused the state of new york thousands of dollars in damages #and he's NOT the boys' dad jesus christ #he grows slightly more serious over the course of the series (out of stress :(() #but at his core he's just a kid who loves fighting and being a hero #and i love him so much ok!!!!!!

[karengillanslefteyebrow]

Something something, Medusa was given a curse (that she views as a gift) by Athena where people can no longer see her, something Annabeth was given a gift (that’s kinda a curse) by Athena that makes her invisible…

#text post #textposts #shit post #why am i like this #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo #annabeth chase #Medusa #invisibility links #do you know the only gift my mom ever gave me? a hat that turns you invisible #you put it on and no one can see you #seems appropriate!

[samarecharm]

Ryuji having the worst bi crisis of his fucking life bc his mom just had to fucking ask “oh, whats this young ladys name?” when he showed her a picture of Akira petting Morgana. Like okay yeah Akira is like objectively pretty, hes like the Classic Delicate Pretty Boy just like Yusuke which is like whatever; straight dudes have eyes, and they know what women like to see. But now hes like. Seeing things he likes in girls IN Akira now and he cant make it Stop like its genuinely keeping him up at night 😭

Pretty boy used to be A Face that would come up in his mind when he thought of the term. There was no specifics in mind, just like. Pretty Boy. Pretty boy! You say that and theres like a Face Template that shows up in ur minds eye and hed just attribute that to any dude who was like Vaguely Pretty. But now its Akira 😭 and he finds himself cataloging things that Akira does that he KNOWS he finds cute when girls do it. The hairtuck behind the ears. The headtilt when he mishears a question. The Actually Pretty Doe Eyes. The breathy, nearly inaudible chuckle he does in place of a Real laugh (thats made better by the fact that its so hard to get him to laugh in the first place). He likes cute snacks. He blushes easily. Ryuji is sitting here like ‘theres no fucking way man. Like theres just no way. That shit makes NO sense (a lie)’ lying in bed in the middle of the night looking like this vvvv w his phone in his hands (looking at pictures of akira)

It drives him insane bc like he did Not see any of these things as like inherently girly or whatever. Like thats just akira thats just his bro! And he does OTHER weird shit that cancels all that shit out. Hes like a messy engineer/tinkerer, he rolls out of bed and whatever situation his hair is is everyones problem. He wears that AWFUL gym uniform and doesnt tweak it AT ALL?? He likes baseball?? hes got a whole binder of trading cards that he will show off if u show any moment of weakness. Like hes just Some Dude but also manages to be Some Girl at the same time and Ryuji is like thats not fair. Life sucked ass but at least it made sense before Akira stumbled into it 😭

#persona 5 #pegoryu #akiryu #chattin #long post #THIS one is almost a year old lmao its been in my drafts for a while #i at least tagged it as pegoryu before running away cutely so i think i was finished ??? well now i am throwing it into the world #anyway. akira is the guy ever. and ryuji is exploding #‘i have died. badly’ #i like thinking of akira like this; hes ryujis first exposure to nb ppl and gnc adjacent stuff #even if akira is p masc by most standards hes still got a bit of. aloofness. about his gender stuffs #ryuji is just really into the way akira carries himself #and it takes him a while to go oh. oh i think its cause i like this dude #um. #😳. #also i wanted to clarify #but ryujis mom just doesnt know Who akira is in that picture #and in my head hes like. looking down at mona and petting him (while sitting) #(AND hes with ann and theyre both kind of a distance away from the camera) #so at a quick glance; hes just Some Girl #and even though shes wrong; it kicks off the mental chaos olympics in ryujis head #‘what hes not a girl’ to ‘where would she even get that from’ to ‘well akira said himself he didnt rlly care what ppl thought about it’ #to ‘well. where DID she get that from?’ to lookin at what his homie does a little closer to ‘aw fuck. man.’ #but i love that for him #ALSO. RYU/GORO IN TAGS….. #but ryuji going oh my GOD oh my godddd 😨😓😓😓 when something clicks in his head about goro #his voice is so practiced and naturally softspoken and his public facing persona is very demure #and once he gets past the initial anger over goro being a pompous prick who shittalks about the thieves. hes like. god fucking dammit. #There Is A Pattern and A Type He Has and Its Killing Him To Realize it. #hes literally sitting in his room w his head in his hands