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#same with sophie x therapy
bebebelll · 5 months
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does anyone know her dad? | dn3 x reader (part 3)
paring: daniel ricciardo x toto's daughter!reader, daniel ricciardo x wolff & shcumacher!reader warning: nothing (google translated german because i studied that language for 2 years and dont know a single word anymore) notes: part 1, part 2 and part 4 are recommended reading
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ynquads god i love what the us grand prixs do to this man. there's something in the air and the cowboy hats are hot. i truly feel really blessed to have met you, to spend my life with you, to have been by your side and to have had you by mine. i just really love you ❤️❤️❤️
liked by danielricciardo, susie_wolff and 1 184 537 others
username haha jumping off a building now bye
danielricciardo you really love me ❤️
ynquads i really really love you danielricciardo really really really? ynquads really really really really danielricciardo wanna sneak out and go makeout? ynquads YEAH alex_albon no please dont we're on the same plane the restroom is small the walls are thin
maxverstappen1 gross
username sobbing screaming throwing up (fuck i am jealous)
danielricciardo i am so obsessed with you baby
ynquads i fucking adore you
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f1wagsupdate as we all know that the figure skater and danny ric's girlfriend yn shcumacher is the child of toto wolff and michael shcumacher's sister, we decided to go on a deep dive. these are really the only photos we could find from facebook. we could only find this one photo of katarina shcumacher and not a single one her and toto together. but isn't toto just adorable with baby yn? and enjoy baby yn and max verstappen looking super cool!
liked by 46 956
username MAX VERSTAPPEN
username how is mick not using that last photo every year on their birthdays like i would print a pic like that of my siblings and put them up around school hallways and on the fridge
ynquads do not worry, auntie sophie and vic show that photo around every christmas
username ooh its too bad theres no photos of them together
username same bro i cant stop imagining some summer love ynquads they met a bar in berlin and got so fucking drunk that its a miracle they didn't get alcohol poisoning. i am so truly so really serious when i say that i'd be surprised if they even exchanged names before i was already cooking in my mom's stomach username what the fuck you saying ynquads i've seen an old homevideo about the morning after. i talk about it in therapy every week
username i love how yn is just lurking around every post about her and her parents
yt video: YN SHCUMACHER ATTENDS COTA - BRUNDLE GRIDWALK
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comments:
username love the passive aggressive attitude to every camera she saw
username truly a lovely experience. yn kissed daniel before the race. she kissed max's cheek when he won and said something scandalous in german/dutch based on everyone's faces. i also saw a video of her laughing on the ground when lewis dsq was announced
username WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY SAYING IS THAT GERMAN
username yn: they are filming you, dad. you are very popular. toto: dont give them too much attention. you had a long flight. you just go and take a nap before the race. brundle and toto talk yn: well see how intact our relationship is after the race username intact 😂😂 lord that really is torger's kid
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danielricciardo this woman is the single reason ive survived some darker times. she's so beautiful, lovely and sweet. elegant on and off the ice ❤️❤️the day i do not gush and drool about her is the day i'm dead. so in love
liked by ynquads and 2 487 577 others
username why am i crying
username cant come to the phone right now busy driving through concrete walls and off a cliff
ynquads i am THE luckiest girl ❤️❤️❤️
danielricciardo if youre lucky then ive been blessed by god ynquads dont you dare i win this danielricciardo youre not the one who was just on their knees i win ynquads come here and ill wrestle you danielricciardo only if you kiss the booboos better after
username am i the only one getting real suspicious about these "i love you much" post that they've been putting out for the entire month??? like what you doing all this for
username EXACTLY username they've been together for like four or five years too sooooo you know what people do around that timestamp 🤭🤭🤭
username just what the hell is that comment about being on their knees daniel
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ynquads instagram story
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danielricciardo funny thing about vegas
liked by ynquads, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 3 483 573 others
username BITCH WHAT
susie_wolff if you got married in a las vegas chappel, you are grounded till your 80th birthday yn - toto wolff
ynquads i didn't actually expect to love being engage this much
danielricciardo whats got you excited about this then? ynquads the fact that im gonna get to marry YOU maxverstappen1 stop being gross maxverstappen1 i already suffered through watching the proposal
username love this i want to snort this i want to inject this into my blood but did you get engaged and then eat junkfood while watching princess diaries 2
ynquads don't tell anyone 🤫 danielricciardo really dont tell anyone that amount of junkfood was not in the diet plan
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@topguncultleader @eternalharry
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codfanficedits · 7 months
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One mistake - Part Seven.
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader - She/her pronouns being used
Summary: Simon lost you after making a mistake on a mission.
Wordcount: 1280 | Rating: E (18+ only!)
Warnings: cussing, swearing, grieving, angst with no comfort, conversation, blaming, therapist, moving on after losing a loved one.
A/N: Part seven! Simon is moving onn.
Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~AO3 Link
243 days.
God it has been 243 days. And while his grief for you is a token of the love he holds for you, life is moving on, Simon is moving on. He no longer spends his days and nights in his bed, instead he goes out, out in the open, out to visit a coffee shop, a bookstore, the park.
He treats life as if he had died and had begged God for a second chance, taking in every detail of the beauty of life.
243 days. He has missed your birthday, you have missed his. But don’t worry, he took a cupcake to your empty grave and sang for you. You still visit him in his dreams, and while he still wakes up missing you, longing for you in his bed, he is grateful to have you visit him even if it is through his nightmares and dreams.
He no longer has therapy sessions with Sarah, although they have helped him a whole lot, he is okay by himself, the flashbacks no longer taunt him and when this mind wanders back to that day, he can put himself back in the narrative, telling you that he loves you, that he wishes life could have been different.
Simon even went back to work, not to his full extend yet, that is a little too much, just yet. But he is getting there, and he hopes that you’re proud of him.
The grieving has become easier over time, and with it came a little bit of guilt, for the longest time it felt like he was forgetting you.
But he is not. You’ll always have a spot in his heart, he can never really forget you. Although he can only remember your face from the pictures and video’s, he remembers you. Although your voice isn’t the same in every dream, flashback or video, he still remembers you. You left your mark on his heart and he won’t get rid of it.
Simon takes in the ambiance of the little coffeeshop that he is in, waiting for his date to arrive. Sophie had been a nice girl, she isn’t you, obviously she isn’t you, and it took him a few weeks to get used to it. He stopped looking for you in her eyes, and while she will never leave such a mark on him as you did, she is pretty amazing. Simon told her upfront about you, how you always be a part of his life, through his work, through the apartment he shared with you, through him. And Sophie was okay with that, Sophie had no intention to replace you, no Sophie knew that she could live alongside Simon’s love for you.
A smile breaks out on his face when he spots here, a little wave following quick.
“There you are!” Happiness in his voice.
“Yeah, sorry I’m late.” You were never late.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m glad you’re here.” She kisses him on his cheek after those words.
And it took him a while, but he can smile after the small gesture, it no longer feels like a betrayal towards you, after all, he would’ve wanted you to move on too, it is only fair that he allows himself the same.
His eyes soften when he smiles at her, it was like a tug at his heart strings that he had long ago thought were cut.
“Going back to the taskforce.” Simon eventually says.
That piques her interest. “For long?”
“Nah, it’s for a birthday party.” Simon shrugs.
A little bit of an awkward air lingers around the both of them, neither of them sure what to say next. Sophie wants to ask if she can come, but she respects his space too much, she respects the walls around him too much to just barge in and demand he takes them down. Besides, the base is the only place where she hasn’t stepped foot in to replace you.
On the other side of the table is Simon, wanting to invite you, but worried that he is just using her to drive out the memories of you, worried that his teammates will think that he is getting over you way too quick. Worried that people will judge the level of love he has for you.
“So,” Simon clears his throat. “It’s Soap’s birthday, and we’re celebrating tomorrow evening.”
“And I know we haven’t been dating for long, but maybe, maybe you’d like to come?”
A deep breath. No reaction.
“Yes.” Sophie smiles while she talks. “Yes, I would like that. I’ve heard a lot about them, can’t wait to finally meet them.”
A smile tugs around his lips. “Good, good.”
“So, I’ll pick you up around 7ish, and I’ll drive us to base. Just wear something casual, they’re soldiers, so don’t expect anything too fancy.”
Even after 243 days he can’t help but feeling like a traitor, inviting another woman to the base the two of you used to serve at.
Sophie smiles at him, her worries melting away at his relaxed demeanour.
“8ish.” She repeats. “I’ll make sure to be casually dressed.” She presses a kiss on his cheek again. “I have to get back to my work, but it was nice to see you in my lunchbreak.”
Simon lets out a sigh when he is all alone in the coffeeshop again. Oh how life went different than he had hoped, but he was content. His eyes take in the scenery once more.
You would have loved it here.
He puts his car into park while he waited for Sophie to get out of her apartment, his leg bouncing against the steering wheel, he could feel himself getting nervous, as if he would bring Sophie in to your territory. As if he would take away the final thing on this mortal earth that was only yours. Simon tried to push those thoughts away when he saw Sophie leave her house, a bright smile on her face. He could see that she had tried to dress casual, but it was a little too perfect to be casual, and it warmed his heart.
She kissed him when she entered his car. It was endearing to him, all feelings of guilt being pushed to the side when his lips touched hers.
“You look amazing.” He complimented her. A soft blush forming on her face. Her hand rested on his knee when he started the drive. It was quiet and he still wasn’t used to it. You, his teammates, his captain, the lot of you would always tease him about his bad driving skills. But not Sophie, she was missing out on the inside joke.
“It can be quite rowdy on base.” Simon warned her.
“That’s okay.” She said with a faint smile.
“Good, good.” He muttered.
A soft squeeze on his knee, and a smile formed on his lips.
Simon tried to focus on the road, pushing away every single thought inside of his mind. He shouldn’t feel guilty for moving on, he shouldn’t feel guilty for bringing his new girlfriend to his base. He shouldn’t be so nervous about his teammates meeting Sophie.
He shouldn’t. But he was.
A deep breath emerged from his lips when he parked the car on the base, taking in the atmosphere.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Ready.” She nodded.
When he exited the car, he took in his base, the memories of you flooding in again. Sophies hand in his shook him out of it, and he smiled at her.
He let in the commotion, the rowdy, loud cheering happening all around.
“Simon!” Price calling out over the parking lot. “We have something you should see.”
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queenpiranhadon · 30 days
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Lmao just finished The Naturals
⚠️SPOILERS BELOW⚠️
Why in the world is my brain connecting certain elements of the story to other fandoms???
Like for example- Cassie’s little romance predicament.
In Kotlc, you’ve got Sophie, Keefe and Fitz right. Cassie is someone with the ability to get inside of people’s heads. Y’know who else can do that? Sophie Elizabeth Foster ladies and gentlemen.
And Sophie was in love with two others during the course of the story.
One of them being another person gifted with the talent to get inside other people’s heads. This being serious and experienced Dean Redding. Who else matches the description? Fitz Avery Vacker.
And last but not least, a boy gifted with the ability to read emotions. He’s sarcastic and witty, and is willing to wait for our darling female lead to love him back. Micheal Townsend and Keefe Sencen anyone?
It’s also hilariously ironic that the girl is the one with blue eyes and the boys both have brown in the Naturals.
My how the turns have tabled.
Moving right along to the Inheritance Games-
The descriptions for Locke and Toby’s handwriting are exactly the same like WHAT. Part cursive, part print hello??
Not to mention swimming therapy XD
And not to mention Locke- am I the only one who pictured her to look like Handler from Spy x Family??
Like:
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In all seriousness through, I really like this series- finished it in less than 24 hours soooo yep
Thanks for reading my ramble hsbjkwlaksbwj
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sophieinwonderland · 3 months
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Hi Sophie! We hope you are doing well!
You mentioned recently the fact that many DID patients spend years in psychiatric treatment before getting an accurate diagnosis. I was wondering if you knew or readily had available more detail on that.
Iwrc the average time to get diagnosed is something like 7 years (and please correct/confirm me on that if you have that data). What we're curious about, and hope you might know, is when the "clock starts" for that statistic.
For instance, we started seeing a psychiatrist in ~2013 for trans related issues. Then when we had a breakdown in 2016 we saw another psychiatrist and began therapy. But only in 2022 did we start seeing our current therapist (following our syscovery the previous year), who Dx'd us with OSDD-1 after a year, and then later changed it to DID last month. And each of these periods had breaks in treatment except for the current one.
So our question would be when the clock would have started? In 2013 since that was our first experience with psychiatry? 2016 because that's when the related symptoms started getting treatment? Or 2021/2022 because that's when we were pursuing this specific diagnosis? Also I suppose it might be worth asking if the clock stopped with our OSDD-1 diagnosis or our DID one, but i figure the DID one because DID is likely the Dx that this data would be about.
If you don't have this info, that's totes fine! We're mostly just curious what's meant by a diagnosis taking in average X number of years, as it can paint very different pictures (e.g. did we have a miraculously fast diagnosis, or did we get the high end on the wait time).
-Faye
I can't say for certain. Despite the frequency this comes up, it's kind of hard to find info about it.
When I got this, I was sure it would be a simple thing to track down the information. There were a ton of websites that referenced this. But hardly any provided sources. And many sources I found ended up being paywalled.
One led to this paper:
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With this citation...
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That doesn't exist online...
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I found this paper next!
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The first source led here.
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That 1986 study seems firmly locked behind paywalls though. And I haven't been able to find the Rivera one yet.
It's worth noting that all of these studies are old, and these very well may not even be applicable in the modern era.
My best guess is that the clock would probably start ticking as soon as you saw your first psychiatrist in 2013. But I can't say for sure with absolute certainty. I don't even know if all these studies would have used the same standards.
In fact, the wording of some of these, that patients spent this many years "in treatment" before getting correctly diagnosed, may imply that it's counting active years of treatment. So yeah, I don't know. 🤷‍♀️
Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
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spiralcass · 9 months
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NEW X-MEN: THE ANIMATED SERIES - SEASON 2, EPISODE 5
We open on Emma Frost’s telepathy class, with 12 students in attendance. Emma tells them all it’s time for a pop quiz. She’s put minimal, by her standards, mental defenses up, and she wants them to tell her what she’s thinking of. 
Immediately, the only hands that go up belong to Quentin Quire, sporting an unfortunate sweater vest and shorts combo, and the Stepford Cuckoos, who sit on opposite sides of the classroom. Emma calls on the Cuckoos first, and they answer correctly. The Cuckoos shoot Quentin a smug, superior glance. 
Emma tells the class to try again with the next one, but only the same hands go up. This time she calls on Quentin, who also answers correctly. He sticks his tongue out at the Cuckoos. 
Emma gives the class one more chance, but, again, only the Cuckoos and Quentin can read her mind. 
Emma pinches her nose. 
EMMA: “What was Jean even teaching any of you? I bet she never even invaded your subconscious.” 
Emma sighs and calls on the Cuckoos. 
SOPHIE, smirking: “You’re thinking about…how good Mr. Summers is in bed.” 
The whole class laughs as the bell rings, Emma so glad she doesn’t need to respond to that. 
As the class files out, Quentin approaches the Cuckoos, who are visibly disgusted by him getting near them, and mocks that they can only keep up with him because there are five of them. He’s obviously superior to any ONE of them. 
PHOEBE: “We are one, idiot.” 
IRMA: “Five-in-One, dweeb.” 
CELESTE: “And One-in-Five.” 
SOPHIE: “We’d only need half a Cuckoo to be better than you.” 
ESME: “So just drop dead already.” 
As the Cuckoos strut out, Quentin is both frustrated by the Cuckoos, and by his arousal toward them. 
Out in the hall, Emma is stopped by Scott. 
EMMA: “And what are you all unusually smiley about?” 
SCOTT: “Well, we’ve been official for a week, so I thought it might be nice for us to take a night off. There’s a new airshow out in Queens I thought we could check out.” 
Emma looks at Scott like he’s an idiot. 
EMMA, as she walks past him: “No.” 
SCOTT: “No?” 
EMMA: “No to attending an airshow, and no to stepping foot in Queens. Jean may have simply gone along with whatever interests you have, although frankly I’m shocked you possess any, but for me, you’ll have to do better. Capiche?” 
SCOTT, actually upset: “Yeah. Capiche.” 
Emma hums in frustration as she turns back around. 
EMMA: “I apologize. The only man I’ve been with before was Shaw. I forget I shouldn’t just walk all over you anymore.” She forms a cat-like smile as she puts her arms around his shoulders. “I suppose I can give the boy a night with his toys. Find us something better than Queens, hmm?” 
SCOTT, his mood lifted: “Yes, ma’am.” 
The two kiss, but the moment is sadly ruined. 
 “Oh, please do not tell me you two are actually dating now.” 
The headmasters pull away and open their eyes, finding that Sunspot has returned. 
SUNSPOT: “Disgusting at this revelation is, therapy can wait. We need to talk.” 
In the medical bay, Beast says he knows it seems scary, but with these, he can still do everything he used to. 
We see he’s speaking with Julian, who’s fully dressed and seems to have recovered as much as he can. In front of him are two metal hands, which Beast explains he’s designed to work specifically with his, and only his, telekinesis; they will be an extension of himself. 
HANK, adjusting his glasses: “Some of my best work if I may say so.” 
JULIAN: “YOU say so. I don’t. They’re uglier than Ashida’s gloves.” He sighs. From his nubs, he inches out his TK field to grab them and pull them over to his nubs. He repeatedly flexes and unflexes his new fingers. “Yeah. I guess this will do.” 
Julian, without saying thank you, sullenly exits the med bay, only to shove his depression down, put on a cocky grin, and hold his arms out as he’s greeted by his friends. 
JULIAN: “Guess who’s back!” 
Cessily runs up to him and gives him a hug, Julian then twirling her around with his TK, as Brian cheers him on. 
SOORAYA: “We’ve missed you.” 
JULIAN: “I KNOW you have.” 
Emma talks up from behind the kids, standing tall and imposing, but with a small smile. 
EMMA: “I hope you’re well-rested, Hellion, because if you wish to keep using that name, I don’t want to hear one excuse from you about your injury impacting your performance. Understood?” 
JULIAN: “Loud and clear.” 
Emma softly touches her gloves hand to his face. 
EMMA: “I have work to do, but come to my office later so we can talk. And be proud of yourself.” 
Emma walks off, Julian’s face falling for a moment while no one’s looking. Quickly picking himself back up, however, he wants to know where the others are. 
Cessily explains that Laura is still blaming herself for what happened to him, and she isn’t ready to see him yet. Nori, well, that flimsy bridge may have been burnt when the two nearly fought to the death, and Sofia…
Julian sighs. 
JULIAN: “Yeah. I messed up there. Big time. But she’s still single, right?” 
SOORAYA: “Yes, but I don’t think she wants –” 
JULIAN: “Perfect! Thanks for the intel!” Julian cackles as he floats off. “Just watch! By the end of the day, the premiere Mutant power couple will be back!” 
Cessily, Sooraya, and Brian all clearly know this is a bad idea. 
CESSILY: “Ten bucks says this goes badly?” 
BRIAN AND SOORAYA: “No bet.” 
In Scott’s office, with Emma at his side, Cyclops questions where Sunspot has been. Leaving out a number of details, he simply tells them he’s been taking some time off. While he was doing so, he met a seemingly pleasant man named John Sublime, a name Emma recognizes as the head of Sublime Corp, a meditech corporation that formed three years ago.  
Roberto says he started chatted with the man, but any potential friendship died the second he started ranting about how baselines were “entitled” to Mutant gifts, and how something should be done to erase the “inequality”. 
ROBERTO: “I thought he was just talking nonsense dreams, but after reading one of Emma’s recent mission reports about the existence of the U-Men, well, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.”
The most worrisome thing he notes is that Sublime has a Mutant working for him, possibly against their will, giving them a description of Martha. Scott apologizes for riding Roberto so hard about his absence, with the rest of the X-Men having been unable to catch any leads on the U-Men since their first attack. Still, the next time he goes off on his own like this, he NEEDS to let him know. 
Roberto wipes his smile off his face, stands tall, and clasps his hands behind his back. 
ROBERTO, mockingly: “Sir, yes, sir! It won’t happen again, sir!” 
Roberto drops the bit and laughs as he heads out of the office. 
ROBERTO: “I’ll leave dealing with him and rescuing the Mutant in your hands.” 
CYCLOPS: “And where are you going now?” 
ROBERTO: “My room. That was the most exhausting vacation I’ve ever taken.” 
Roberto exits, but Emma follows after him, saying she’ll be with Scott to plan in a moment. 
When Emma catches Beto in the hall, he asks if she needs him to do any more of her job for her. 
EMMA: “Drop the attitude, Da Costa. It’s obnoxious. And that’s coming from me. I know you were doing more than taking a trip to the Galapagos.” 
ROBERTO: “Oh? What do you think I was up to?” 
Emma shows Roberto an article from this morning on her phone about how Da Costa International is back in business and bigger than ever, with a new headquarters in France. 
ROBERTO: “Is this supposed to be a “gotcha”? It’s public news, and I’ve mentioned before this is a side project of mine.” 
EMMA: “That may be, but it doesn’t change that you had to have gotten the money from someone. And I can’t think of many people with this type of money who’d be willing to back a known Mutant superhero.” 
ROBERTO: “If it’s such a short list, you should have no trouble figuring it out, but that really shouldn’t be your priority right now.” 
As Roberto is finally able to leave, Emma narrows her eyes at him. 
Back in the office, Scott hears someone come in and assumes it’s Emma, but, in actuality, it’s Storm and Kitty, neither of whom appears happy with him. 
SCOTT: “What’s wrong?” 
KITTY: “Seriously?” 
ORORO: “Children gossip, Scott. Especially they see their headmasters kissing in the halls.” 
Scott tries to explain, but Kitty swears at him to shut up. They thought he’d made a dumb, stupid, bad mistake, but clearly, this is just what he wants. 
SCOTT: “Yes! It is. And if either of you could give her the slightest chance, you’d understand why.” 
ORORO: “She removed any chance of that when she broke our family.” Storm walks over to Scott and looks down at him. “I’m so disappointed in you.” 
Storm walks out with Kitty, who’s sure to flip Scott off on her way. Unsure of what he can do about the state of the team he now commands, he picks up and looks longingly at his photo of the classic X-Men. 
We cut to the Danger Room, where the power is still turned off. Suddenly the lights turn on. In the control room, a white-gloved hand inputs a command into the system. 
An obstacle course emerges in the Danger Room, including sentries, narrow, razor-sharp hoops, massive industrial fans, and six orbs that float around the room. 
Stepping inside, Wind Dancer takes a deep breath. WIth a countdown clock set, and her eyes on the high scores for completing this course set by Storm and Northstar, she does some last-minute stretches. 
The countdown completes and Sofia runs through the course. In as fast a time as possible, she must fly through every hoop and touch every orb, all of which are rapidly moving around in an erratic pattern, while withstanding the fans from every corner, and eliminating the sentries. 
While Sofia does cut herself on the final hoop as she attempts to pick up her pace at the end, she otherwise performs nearly flawlessly, gracefully passing through the rest of the hoops and reaching every orb, while using the fans, which are meant to be a hindrance, to eliminate the sentries for her, so she need not even concern herself with them. 
Reaching the end, Sofia looks up with eager eyes and panted breaths to see if she got the high score. She did not. She achieved third place behind Storm and Northstar, but a distant third place. 
SOFIA: “DAMMIT!” 
“Don’t beat yourself up.” Sofia’s eyes widen as Danielle enters. “Well, beat yourself up for breaking the rules about not using the Danger Room and getting detention, but not for your performance. That was excellent, Wind Dancer.” 
Sofia hangs her head in shame. 
SOFIA: “I have had so much more free time to train lately, I thought I could get the number one score, but I didn’t even come close.” 
DANI, giggling: “Oh no, you did better than veteran X-Men like Archangel, Banshee, and Cannonball, but fell short of the fastest man alive and the world’s greatest badass. Such a failure. You should be proud.” 
SOFIA, sighing, but able to smile: “Thank you Ms. Moonstar, but I won’t be proud until I’m the best.” 
“You know you already are to me, Beautiful.” 
That is said over the Danger Room’s intercom. Sofia and Dani look up to, of course, find Hellion. Julian is looking down at Sofia with one of the most innocent looks we’ve seen in his eyes, while Sofia looks up at him, unsure of what to feel. 
Dani pats her on the back. 
DANI: “Go deal with your Degrassi nonsense. We’ll talk about your punishment and overly high standards for yourself later.” 
Sofia meets Julian in the control room, with awkwardness filling the air. Julian asks how Sofia is doing. She gives a non-answer. 
SOFIA: “I am…happy to see you’ve recovered. I like your new hands.” 
JULIAN, snorting: “Can’t say I feel the same there, but you do have an eye for spotting the best in things. And in people.” 
Julian steps forward and tells Sofia how sorry he is for how he spoke to her. No one should EVER speak to her like that. He was just going through such a hard time after everything, and he lashed out at her when he shouldn’t have. If he wanted to be alone, he should have just said that. 
JULIAN: “I didn’t mean a thing I said about using you, and I never wanted to actually break up with you. I was just…” Getting the next word out takes a great deal of effort on Julian’s part. “...scared. I’m so sorry, Sofia. Please. Give me one more chance.” 
Sofia, wide-eyed, stammers as she struggles to find what she wants to say. Eventually, she steps forward and takes Julian’s hands. His eyes light up. But…
SOFIA: “I am sorry, Julian. I’m sorry for what happened to you, and I’m sorry I have to tell you this…but I cannot keep playing your games.” 
JULIAN: “What?”
SOFIA: “Everyone has different sides to them. The sides of you I usually see…I love.” She may as well have just plunged a knife through this boy’s heart. “But the other sides of you, the sides I feared for how they would impact me…they scare me more than ever.” Sofia pulls away. “You may not have meant it, but you broke my heart. I can’t go through that again.” 
Sofia flies off, as a destroyed Julian falls to his knees. 
On one of Emma’s jets, which naturally has an all-white interior, Scott notes how much more lavish it is than the jets Xavier would charter when he’d take either him and the rest of the 05 on a rare vacation, or when he’d take him and Jean with him to observe him in Washington. Emma replies that she’d HOPE she had better taste than that fossil. 
Emma tells Scott that she has work to do since she wasn’t exactly planning on taking a flight to China today. Scott says that’s fine, as he’s not exactly without a workload either. 
EMMA, as they both pull out their laptops: “Credit where it’s due, running your criminal business on the opposite end of the world from your legitimate one is an effective way to keep nosey do-gooders from making a connection.” 
CYCLOPS: “You know you don’t always have to praise the villains’ plans and say things like that, right?” 
EMMA: “Yes, but your nose crinkles in the most laughable way when i do, so I’m afraid I’m left with no choice.” 
Scott laughs that off as the two begin working in silence…but Scott still has something on his mind. 
CYCLOPS: ‘Sorry. One more thing.” 
Emma sighs and gestures for him to proceed. 
Scott explains how he’s never been Mr. Popular. He’s always been the one to make the responsible calls that pissed people off. But at the end of the day, everyone, except sometimes Logan, knew he was their friend, and they respected him. Now though? He thinks he’s on the verge of losing Storm and Kitty for good if he doesn’t do something. And after this morning, he has no idea where he stands with Sunspot. 
SCOTT: “How do you deal with everyone hating you?” 
Without a word, Emma reaches into her bag and paws around it. Scott questions what she’s doing. Emma proceeds to leave cocaine on the table in between them. 
SCOTT: “Really?” 
EMMA: “Just don’t overdo it.” 
Scott glares at the coke with disgust before just hopping back onto his laptop. Emma is amused. 
In the school’s gymnasium, Laura is training Sofia in H2H combat. Or, at least, that’s what they usually come here to do. Today, while they are sparring, Sofia is talking nonstop about all the confusing emotions going through her head right now. How she still hates Julian, how she still cares about him so much, if she should feel bad for holding what he said in the wake of his injury against him, etc. 
Laura doesn’t have anything to say to any of this, acting as a sounding wall for her as she blocks all of her attacks, but while she can handle fighting and listening, here, she’s being forced to fight and listen, while Sofia makes repeated contact with her as she sweats profusely in her workout bra and tiny shorts, and shouts in her harmonic voice. 
Laura’s face is bright red. 
It’s in this moment of distraction that Sofia is able to land a clean kick on Laura’s stomach, and slightly knock her back. 
Sofia cheers at this success, this being the first time she’s been able to hit her like that. Laura, tugging on her hair, tries to compose herself as she congratulates her (she doesn’t do a very good job). 
LAURA: “You’re a natural.” 
SOFIA: “I’ve read that fighting is much like dancing. Once I’ve learned the basics, I think I might ask Mr. Da Costa to teach me capoeira.” 
Laura nods but tells her not to push herself. Unlike her, even with everything she’s been through, Sofia still has time to enjoy being a kid. Sofia falls backward and catches herself, floating on her back in mid-air. She knows she might be overdoing it, but it’s the only thing that takes her mind off Julian. She asks Laura what she thinks she should do as she swirls some wind around Laura so she can sit down in mid-air next to her. 
Laura doesn’t blame Julian for anything he said because of his injury. It was her fault he was put in that position, so if she should be mad at anyone, it’s her. It comes down to trust. It’s about whether Sofia can trust his darker sides to never come for her, and if she can trust her, Laura doesn’t think she should have a problem trusting Julian. Sofia doesn’t think that makes sense, but…
LAURA: “You’ve seen Julian at his worst. You haven’t seen me at half of mine.” 
Sofia is left to think, Laura lying back next to her. 
In Shanghai, Scott and Emma walk down a busy street as they approach Sublime’s building, Emma wrinkling her nose at the smell of all the street food. Scott reminds her this is part of the local culture, and it’s not even like all of this food is cheap, but Emma says she’ll stick with her usual tables in this city. 
Changing the subject, Scott asks about the drugs from the plane. No personal judgement, they’re both adults who’ve done worse things than a party drug, but it isn’t exactly responsible to be doing cocaine while teaching and regularly going into combat. Emma explains that, no, she doesn’t do cocaine. Anymore. Back in her Hellfire days, she was a right addict. She’s clean now, but having it around…
Emma trails off. 
SCOTT: “Having it around…what?” 
Emma takes a moment to respond. 
EMMA: “Not important.” 
The two arrive at Sublime Corp. Scott holds the door open for Emma and they pass through the lobby up to the receptionist. She asks if they have an appointment and, with a small psychic suggestion, she knows they do. As she looks up at Scott and Emma to tell them Mr. Sublime will see them right away, we see that Emma is masking the two telepathically as unrecognizable businesspeople. 
SCOTT: “I should not be okay with you doing that.” 
EMMA: “And yet…” 
The two march off toward the stairs. 
In the library, Cessily is calmly studying with her headphones on, while bopping her head to the Washingtons’ music. She’s seated at a table with Pixie, Rubbermaid, and Preview, who are also studying. Their study session is interrupted when Hellion flies in fast enough to send their books flying. 
Cessily takes off her headphones and shouts at Julian for this, but, rather than apologize, he just says he needs her help. Please. 
Cessily sighs and asks her friends to give them a few minutes. As the other girls get up, Preview slaps Julian. 
JULIAN: “Oh come on! I thought we had a good time!” 
RUBBERMAID, whispering to Pixie: “I heard Sofia broke up with him because of his tiny wiener.” 
PIXIE: “Hee hee. Weiner.” 
Once they’re gone, Julian sits down next to Cessily and tells her how Sofia turned him down. 
CESSILY: “Shocking.” 
JULIAN: “Ah, come on, be nice.” 
She’s the only person he trusts who currently has a girlfriend, so he wants her advice on what he should do. It’s not like he can just pull the same thing he did at the dance again. 
CESSILY: “Hmm. I know you didn’t mean it, but you said some pretty awful things to her. Maybe the best thing you can do is start from scratch. Prove to her you’re still the good guy she fell for, even if it takes a few months.” 
JULIAN: “Months?!” 
“What’s this?” 
“Cessily Kincaid giving bad advice?” 
“I’m shocked.” 
Julian and Cessiy glare as they’re approached by the Cuckoos. 
CESSILY: “What do you want now?” 
SOPHIE: “We sensed desperation.” 
ESME: “We thought it might be good for a lark.” 
PHOEBE: “And it was!” 
The five-in-one laugh. 
IRMA: “We also needed to get some books.” 
For apparently saying something wrong, Phoebe nudges Irma with her elbow. 
Julian tells them that they haven’t met before, but this is none of their business, and after what they put his friends through, nothing about his life ever will be. So buzz off. 
The Cuckoos, still smirking, casually shrug as they walk off. 
JULIAN: “What’s their deal, anyway?”
CESSILY: “Don’t worry about it. Now, where were we?” 
JULIAN: “Oh, um, right. Months?!” 
At Sublime Corp, Scott and Emma, in telepathic disguise, are welcomed by the corporation’s eponymous CEO, who brandishes his trademark smile. He says he doesn’t remember his assistant mentioning she’d scheduled a meeting for him with representatives of Kilgore Arms, but hey, everybody makes mistakes. 
SCOTT, telepathically: “Picking anything up from him?” 
EMMA, telepathically: “No, but I’m not sensing any normal mental defenses either.” 
SUBLIME, sitting behind his desk: “Please, have a seat. My condolences about your CEO’s recent disappearance. Who knows what could have befallen him?” 
The X-couple take their seats. 
SCOTT: “It’s always difficult to lose familiar leadership.” 
EMMA: “But it opens up all sorts of wonderful opportunities.” 
He asks what they’d like to discuss. Seeing how his company is purely in the Meditech field, he’s guessing they’re interested in purchasing either some of their research or patents to use in their weapons. 
Emma tells him that while much of his research could be of value to them, they’re more interested in his “extra-curricular” activities. 
SCOTT, doing his best to act evil: “We know you’re behind the U-Men and the assault on the Cockrum Mental Hospital. The operation may not have been a success, but we were most impressed by what we read. Mutants are a scourge, and your tools may be the key to escalating the war against them.” 
EMMA: “Of course, Kilgore Arms is prepared to pay handsomely for any samples you’re willing to part with.” 
Sublime laughs. He should have expected as much. Honestly, he’d hoped to have launched his next attack by now, but he didn’t want to send his boys and girls out into the field again half-cocked. 
SUBLIME: “I do have to disagree about one thing. Mutants being a “scourge”. Some of them can make quite good friends.” 
The door to Sublime’s office creaks open as a brain in a jar floats in. John introduces Scott and Emma to Martha Johannason. Scott nearly loses his cool and drops his act when, along with being appalled at this being done to one of his people at all, he notices a substantial laceration on her, which Beto hadn’t mentioned. Emma is able to calm him telepathically before he does something stupid. 
As Martha floats over to Sublime’s side, he says she’s his right-hand girl and invaluable to his research. She volunteered to be his test subject, agreeing with his philosophy that it isn’t fair for only people like her to have powers, and while the tests did cost her her body, she’s perfectly happy as she is now. 
EMMA: “I notice a cut on her. Has she been engaged in combat since taking that form?” 
SUBLIME: “Oh, no, no. She was aiding me with an operation and didn’t quite meet the standards I held her to. I trust after this lesson, she won’t make that mistake again. Right, sweetie?” 
Martha’s tank bubbles. 
EMMA, giggling: “Finding good help can be so difficult,  can’t it?” 
SCOTT, through grit teeth: “Indeed.” 
Sublime says that now would be the part where he asks what Kilgore Arms is willing to offer him, but, of course…
SUBLIME: “You’re not with Kilgore Arms.” 
A chill runs down Scott and Emma’s spines as they’re frozen in place, and Emma’s illusion is broken. 
SUBLIME: “Cyclops. Emma Frost. I’ve so been looking forward to meeting the both of you.” 
Unable to move, Scott and Emma sneer at the monster sitting in front of them.
In the library, Julian exclaims to Cessily that he can’t just go back to being Sofia’s friend, or maybe even something lower than that. There are only a few months left in the school year, then he’s going home for the Summer, and in all that time, Sofia could meet someone else. 
Cessily isn’t sure what else to tell him. Dramatic displays and forcing himself on her aren’t going to work on Sofia. 
JULIAN: “I can’t take that risk! There has to be something else I can do. I…I love her.” 
Cessily’s eyes widen. 
CESSILY: “Seriously? Or, like, do you mean in a cheesy first-teen love kind of way?” 
JULIAN, shaking his head, looking as stunned by what he just said as Cess does: “No. No, I think I mean it. Shit.” 
Cessily stretches her arms across the table and grabs Julian’s cheeks, practically squealing. 
CESSILY, grinning: “THEN TELL HER THAT, YOU IDIOT!!!” 
JULIAN: “Yeah? That won’t just make things worse?” 
CESSILY: “Sofia is the straightest girl I’ve ever met. I don’t think there’s anything in the world she wants more than for you to tell her that.” 
Julian’s face lights up. Okay! He will tell her. He just needs to find the right moment. He thanks Cessily for her help, but as he tries to fly off, she shapeshifts into a net and catches him in it. 
CESSILY: “No going anywhere till you clean those books. I’m not getting in trouble with Mahn Cao Thi Xuan because of you.” 
Cessily shapeshifts back to normal and wishes Julian luck, before going to find her friends. Julian calls out to her as she walks off not to tell Rubbermaid what he’s planning; that girl can’t keep her mouth shut. 
Julian starts putting the books back on their shelves with his telekinesis as he just repeats, “Sofia, I love you” over and over again under his breath. 
In Sublime’s office, John taunts Scott and Emma. That was a very nice illusion they had going, one Martha wouldn’t have been able to see through. 
SUBLIME, as Scott and Emma struggle to move: “She specializes in…other parts of the brain.” 
Fortunately for him, he has other ways of detecting Mutants. Scott questions what those would be, but Sublime is afraid he only shares information like that with his business partners, not those impersonating them. And especially not those who’ve put his treasured men and women in prison. 
As he glares at Emma, she turns her eyes away and looks at Martha. 
EMMA, telepathically: “Martha, darling, I don’t believe a word he said about you. Whatever this awful man is doing to make you work for him, we can help you.” 
Sublime slaps Emma across the face, telling her to pay attention to HIM. Scott shouts at Sublime not to touch her, but John just uppercuts him, drawing blood and knocking him over in his chair. 
Sublime laughs. These two have some of the most incredible gifts in the world. Maybe he’s a little greedy, but after they’re dead and taken apart, he thinks he may take Emma’s brain and Scott’s eyes for himself. 
SUBLIME: “I don’t think I need the diamond form though. I’m untouchable enough as is.” He snaps his fingers. “Joanna’s been a good girl! She’ll love those genes.” 
Scott tells him that even if he does kill them, the rest of the X-Men know they came here and will be able to find all the evidence they need to hand him over to SHIELD. 
Sublime shakes his head. If they think he fears either of them…
Sublime momentarily disintegrates into microscopic particles before reforming just as quickly. 
SUBLIME: “Then you really don’t have a clue what you’re up against.” He claps his hands. “Now then, Martha. Make them fight to the death.”
Scott and Emma grimace as they’re both puppeteered to their feet. 
In Julian’s bedroom…
JULIAN, with the widest eyes: “Sofia, I know you’re mad, rightfully so, but there’s something you need to know: I love you.” 
We then see he isn’t actually talking to Sofia yet, but Brian, who he’s practicing on, and who’s seated on his bed eating a bag of chips. 
BRIAN: “Man, you really need another guy friend to do this kind of thing with. This isn’t fair.” 
Julian laughs, not apologizing, and says he thinks he’s ready. Now, he just needs to find her. 
Julian flies out of the room, but before he can find Sofia, he receives a message in his head. 
“You can do better.” 
Julian groans, recognizing the voices, and asks the Cuckoos what they want. 
The Cuckoos tell him it’s exactly as they said. Sofia may do well in class, in combat, and be popular, but from what they can see, she doesn’t treat him very well. Dancing with his heart for a whole semester and then after finally letting him in, abandoning him days later over his reaction to a traumatic injury? 
SOPHIE: “That’s simply cruel.” 
CELESTE: “Cruel, but hilarious.” 
PHOEBE: “We’d never do that someone we actually cared about though.” 
Julian’s flight is stopped as the Cuckoos stand in his way down a hallway. He plants his feet on the floor. He tells them to buzz off again. If they’re in his head, then they know he loves her. 
The Cuckoos laugh. He may love her, but what makes him think she loves him? 
ESME: “Would you like to hear what she’s thought about you?” 
The Cuckoos play in Julian’s head the rage in Sofia’s mind over how much she hated him and how she was such a fool to ever waste her time on him, from back when she was shouting at them over Roxy, followed by what she was thinking earlier today. 
Julian is deeply pained as he hears this. 
The Cuckoos circle him. 
IRMA: “We still wish to be friends with Bling!” 
SOPHIE: “Mercury proved she’s worth our time as well.” 
CELESTE: “Dust seems cool.” 
PHOEBE: “And every ladder needs someone like Tag at the bottom.” 
ESME: “Don’t waste your time on the girl who will never accept you as you are.” 
PHOEBE: “Or the ugly, blue-haired bitch who tried to kill you while you were recovering.” 
Julian, tensing up and charging up energy, grits his teeth and says he’s not going to fall for whatever their game is here. They tell him there’s no game. He’s the only guy here worth their time. And together, along with his “crew”, they could rule this place. 
Julian shakes his head, telling them to leave him alone as he tries to walk past them, only for Sophie to plant a kiss on his lips. Julian is left stunned. The other four Cuckoos smirk. 
SOPHIE: “We’ve been inside your head. We’ve seen how bad you can be. And we like it. Doesn’t that sound preferable to chasing the tail of a girl who will never love all parts of you?” 
Julian growls as he launches them all into the walls, and finally flies away from them. The Cuckoos scoff as they dust themselves off, in disbelief that didn’t work. 
Only for them to grin, as Julian returns a moment later. It’s unclear what he wants. 
In Sublime’s office, he cackles as Martha forces Scott and Emma to slug it out, Emma is able to hit hard enough but clearly comes out of the exchange of blows worse, pissing Scott off more than anything. 
SUBLIME: “Come now, Martha, get more creative. I want more than just punches.” 
As the combat gets slightly more imaginative, Scott and Emma get covered in each other’s blood. 
SCOTT, telepathically: “Please tell me you’re getting close to breaking her grip on us.” 
EMMA, telepathically: “I wish I could. Charles’ “Red Triangle Defense” isn’t working either, I gather?” 
A kick to the balls keeps Scott from answering but causes Sublime to guffaw. 
SUBLIME: “That’s enough. Finish them.” 
As Scott and Emma pant and look desperately into each other’s eyes…
EMMA, telepathically: “What I was saying before. About my drugs. In the past, when I held all the power in the world, and yet had no control over my own life, they were an escape for me. They made me feel like I was more than Shaw’s puppet. I hold onto them as a reminder of that time. Of how I can never allow myself to fall back into that position. The White Queen stands tall on her own. At least, that’s what I thought I had to do. You absolute bloody dork.” 
SCOTT, telepathically: “My entire life was dictated by a man who saw me as a soldier in his war first and a child second. He made me someone I may never have become of my own choice. I was denied that choice. I was denied control. Until I met you. You uptight, condescending witch.” 
The two rush each other and beat each other even more violently than previously. 
EMMA: “We decide our fates.” 
CYCLOPS: “No one tells us what to do.” 
EMMA AND SCOTT: “Never again.” 
Emma’s power signature lights up and a thin red light surrounds Scott, at the exact same time, and Sublime’s face falls as that shouldn’t be happening. 
SUBLIME: “Martha! Toss them out the window! Now!” 
He’s too late. A psychic blowback sends Sublime and Martha flying back into a wall. Scott and Emma, barely standing and leaning on each other, approach Sublime. He taunts that he’ll just have to kill them himself before being blasted unconscious by Cyclops’ concussive beams and Emma’s psychic lightning. 
Scott and Emma take each other’s hands as they pant. 
EMMA: “You asked me how I deal with everyone hating me. It is because I own my life. What anyone else thinks of what I do is of no importance.” 
SCOTT: “I see. Does that include me?” 
EMMA, calmly laughing: “Less than most.” 
Suddenly, Sublime springs back to his feet. Scott and Emma are ready to hit him again, but he begs them not to. 
“Sublime”: “Please..please don’t hurt me. I���m sorry. I…I just want to go home.” 
Scott looks to Emma with concern and Emma nods before approaching “him”. 
EMMA: “Do not worry, Martha. We are not angry. No one will ever hurt you again. No one will ever make you hurt others again. We promise.” 
At the school, Scott and Emma, all bandaged up, introduce Matha to Karma. She’ll get to see more of Emma in telepathy class, but given the similarities between their gifts, and her needing a more tender hand, they believe she’ll be happiest on Xuan’s squad. Xuan leads her away enthusiastically, leading her to go meet her new best friends. 
Once on their own, Scott brings up that they still don’t know what Sublime was really after, but hopefully, once SHIELD figures out what exactly he is, if not a Mutant, they’ll be able to get to the bottom of things. In the meantime, hunting down the remaining U-Men should be their priority. 
SCOTT: “But right now…” 
Scott smirks and whips out two tickets. Emma points out that they’re not exactly in any condition to go out right now, with Scott saying they’re for next month. In Berlin. 
EMMA, smirking: “Better.” 
Scott understands why Emma keeps the drugs on her. He does. But he knows she’s never going to let anyone control her again. Least of all him. Whenever she’s ready, he’ll help her get rid of them. 
Emma nods, appreciating it, clearly more than she’s willing to express. The only thing she’s still curious about is what he’s going to do about Storm, Kitty, and Beto. 
Scott responds by leaning in and kissing Emma. They’re his friends. In Storm’s case, maybe the closest friend he has. But he doesn’t need them to like him right now. He knows they won’t go quitting over personal reasons. And soon enough, they’ll move on. 
EMMA: “And if they don’t?” 
SCOTT: “Let’s hope it never comes to that.” 
The two walk off together. 
In Sofia and Noriko’s room, Sofia sits cross-legged in mid-air in deep thought, while Noriko tries and fails to toss goldfish in the air and catch them in her mouth. The awkward silence is brought  to an end when Sofia plants her feet on the floor, lights up her face, and declares that she’s made up her mind. 
NORIKO: “You’re swearing off men for good?” 
A goldfish lands right on and bounces off of Noriko’s forehead. 
SOFIA: “No. Just the opposite.” 
Sofia flies off and Noriko reluctantly follows her. They reach Julian and Brian’s room, only to find they aren’t there. When they question where they are, a telepathic message plays. Not just in their heads, but in every student’s. 
CUCKOOS: “Hello students of Xaviers. We are the Stepford Cuckoos. We are your newest classmates, and it is all about time you understand who we are. We are better than you. We are more powerful than you. And we are not alone. We have read every single one of your minds. We know all of your deepest, darkest secrets. From now on, we own you all. Failure to comply with whatever we tell you or reporting our “bad behavior” to a teacher will result in all of your secrets entering every other student’s mind. You may not know us yet. That will change. For now, you know our new friends.” 
As this speech has been going on, Sofia and Noriko, both pissed, have been running around, trying to find the Cuckoos. When they do, they find them confidently walking down the halls, alongside Cessily, Roxy, Brian, Sooraya, and Julian, who’s making out with Sophie. 
Sofia’s heart falls. Noriko takes her hand. Both are in shock at what they’re seeing. 
As the new crew struts past the bewildered girls, Julian only stops to whisper, “Ladies” in the most douchey way possible. 
CUCKOOS: “From now on, this school belongs to the Hellions.” 
10 notes · View notes
storiesofsvu · 2 years
Text
Fortuitous Reunion Ch 12
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Rita Calhoun x reader Warnings: language, tiny, tiny mention of smut if you squint.
By the end of the next month, your ribs were healed, the X-ray clearing another step in your returning to work, your regular therapy sessions helping your mental health beyond belief. Your wrist was finally out of its cast, though you still had to rest and ice it regularly, PT exercises helping while it stayed wrapped in a brace or tensor bandage regularly. Sophie had since returned to work and you got a slew of texts everyday about how much she missed having you around and couldn’t wait until you were back. You were thankful that most of the Mercy staff either didn’t know what had happened to the two of you, or were more than willing to ignore it unless you brought it up. You’d stopped in to have lunch with Soph a few times, your coworkers more than excited about having the two of you back on the floor soon.
Olivia stopped by more than a few times, usually coaxing you out of the apartment, even if it was for a short walk to the coffee shop around the corner. You always trusted her in the steps of your recovery, after all, she’d been through practically the exact same thing herself. As much as Rita didn’t want to let you out of her sight quite yet, she knew you were more than well protected with Olivia at your side, and it was still important the two of you have your private bonding time. The little meetings with Liv honestly helped you get even closer than you had been before, you disclosed things you couldn’t with Rita or Sophie (with a lot of confidence on Sophie’s behalf, you didn’t want things getting back to Sonny if she hadn’t mentioned it to him yet, but you knew you could trust Olivia to not bring it up or act weird). You were incredibly thankful for the relationship continuing to flourish, you appreciated having Olivia in your life in whatever somewhat weird role she filled.
As much as you still had a few weeks before you were scheduled to return to work (on somewhat modified duty, no transfer/lifting of patients with your wrist would be allowed), Rita was at the end of the time she’d requested. She knew she’d have to go back to work, that as much as she wanted, she couldn’t stay by your side, tangled in your arms forever. It was a bit of a slow start, her clients having been covered by other people at her firm while she was away, she took over a couple of cases that were only a few steps in, but one landed in a deal and the other was a misdemeanour that wouldn’t go to court for months.
Her first morning back, she was surprised when you were awake and out of bed before her alarm even went off. Her heart absolutely melted when she found you in the kitchen, her favourite breakfast nearly done cooking in front of you. You’d simply assured her that she deserved the best, and needed a full stomach to have a good first day back, kissing her softly. She honestly didn’t know what she would do without you, and each day that went by since meeting you, she was ever blown away. Half of her hadn’t even been sure that a love like this actually existed, but you, you were something else, that was for sure.
The first official case she took ended up being more than she’d expected, spending half the day at the precinct followed by the other at her office while she dug through everything she could about her client. She eventually packed it all up, not wanting to be away from you any longer, knowing if she really wanted or needed to, she could at least work from home later on.
You were napping on the couch when she got home, and she couldn’t help but smile at the view, the fact that you’d fallen asleep watching Phineas and Ferb pulling a chuckle from her. She noted the lack of dishes on the coffee table and in the sink, assuming you hadn’t eaten much all day, ordering some of your favourites before she woke you up when it arrived. You were a little groggy, but were more than happy, a bright smile on your cheeks as you sat up to properly greet her with a kiss. You held her to you tighter and longer than usual, relishing in the feel of her against your body, reminding her just how much you loved her. You were ever thankful for dinner, briefly asking her about work while you chewed over the food.  
Post dinner she joined you on the couch, work could wait, she was much more excited about having you in her arms after the long day. She didn’t even realize just how much she relied on having you to hold, it never mattered if you cuddled back, she just loved to hold you, the warmth of you in her arms warming her heart like no tomorrow. Though you always nestled against her, a hand rubbing at her arm, softly reaching back to play with her hair, she knew you loved the touch as much as she did.
You woke up to a chilled bedroom, tugging the sheets tighter around you, you shivered, the cold aching your wrist. You tried to ignore the pain, snuggling up to Rita, but she was further away than you’d thought. Upon rolling over you realized she wasn’t in the bed, huffing at the sight of a sliver of light coming from the living room. You glanced at the clock, at least it wasn’t that late, and at this point, you needed to get up for more painkillers anyways. Shivering you wrapped a tossed aside cardigan around your frame, padding out into the main area of the apartment. Much to your surprise, Rita was standing in the living room, glass of scotch in her hand while she stared out at the cityscape in front of her.
“You’re up and not working?” You mumured, half teasing as you wrapped yourself around her body, humming at the way her free arm wrapped tightly around your waist.
“Why’re you up?” She asked quietly.
“Bed was cold.” You replied, kissing her shoulder, “and I needed more tylenol.”
“Sorry Darling.” She kissed your forehead before sucking back some more of her drink.
“You gonna tell me why you’re up now?” Your head tilted so you could see her face, the way her brows furrowed as she frowned.
“It’s this case…”
“Baby you know how much of a rockstar you are, you’ll crush it.” You kissed softly at the side of her neck, “come back to bed.” You snuggled deeper against her. Rita sighed, placing the now empty glass down on the coffee table as she gently tugged you to the couch.
“I’m not worried about being able to win it,” she admitted, her hand stroking absentmindedly at your hair, “I’m worried about the morality of it.”
“What’d’you mean?” You tucked your legs up under you, fully facing her, your hand softly playing with the baby hairs against her neck. She sighed heavily, taking a deep breath as she looked up at you.
“The idiot’s being accused of abducting and raping his ex girlfriend, and the evidence isn’t helping.” She sighed again, “I just….I can’t help but think of that poor girl going through exactly what you did, and it’s making me wonder if this work is what I should really be doing.”
“Rita…my love…” you stroked her cheek softly as you shifted, straddling her lap, “you’re doing your job.” You kissed her forehead softly, “though I get why maybe you want to change paths right now. If you think the guy’s guilty, drop the case, make a deal. But don’t ever forget that you’re one of the best defence attorneys New York has to offer.”
“You don’t think less of me for representing scum like that?” You knew she was serious when she glanced up at you with a small shimmer of tears in her eyes.
“No love, never….” You kissed her softly, “I’ll admit, we had our complications early on, but baby, I love you. And that’s all that ever matters. I don’t care what you do at work, as long as you come home to me and still love me, that’s all that I care about.”
“Well that’s never going to stop.” She smiled, kissing your lips with ease.
“Good.” You pecked her lips, cupping her cheeks softly, “now will you come back to bed? I miss you.”
“Darling I’ve only been working a couple of days.”
“That’s not what I miss..” you met her gaze as your thumb stroked at her cheek.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” You ducked to kiss her, lips moving with grace against hers as your tongue delved into her mouth. The hands previously cupping her cheeks wrapped around her neck, pulling her to you.
“Darling…” she nearly warned as you kissed down her neck, “are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“Yes..” you pulled your head up, meeting her gaze, “I love you, but more importantly I trust you. And this time, I know you’ll be incredibly soft, you wont cross a line. But baby please. I need to feel you, I need to feel a touch that’s loving and caring, I can’t handle the last one I felt being…him…”
“Oh darling..” Rita stroked your cheek, hating the way your eyes were blurring with tears. She held you against her for a few moments until she was sure you were okay. Then she let you take the lead, you were okay, you were more than okay, and this was what you wanted, she was still careful to be slow, be cautious, never crossing a line. But Rita knew you, she knew your relationship, she let you take control and as much as she thought things might be weird, you slipped past all of your trauma and shared all the love with her.
When you collapsed against the now very warm bedsheets, it was in a slight sheen of sweat, reminded just how incredible Rita was at making you feel wonderful. You smiled as you rolled toward her, snuggling against her body, peppering her in kisses. She pulled your face to hers, lips gracing you with a passion filled kiss before you nestled against her chest, arms wrapping around each other. You relished in the warmth and love surrounding you for a moment before you spoke.
“I think we should set a date…and somtime soon.”
“Hmm?”
“I don’t wanna wait any longer, I just want to be your wife.”
“I thought you didn’t need some silly little piece of paper.” Rita teased. You rolled your eyes, propping your head up.
“I’m serious.”
“We still have a lot of planning to do darling.”
“Screw the details, screw the big ceremony. We can do something small, family, Sophie and Barba, then dinner at the café like we planned.”
“Are you sure?” She stroked back a piece of your hair, cupping your cheek. You turned, leaving a kiss in the palm of her hand.
“Yes. All I need is you.” Leaning down you kissed her, smile breaking onto your lips.
“I’ll make some calls in the morning.” She murmured, earning a giggle of excitement from you, quickly kissing her again before you nuzzled back against her.
“I love you.” You placed another kiss on her skin.
“I love you too darling.”
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thanksforthedinosaur · 3 months
Text
february 2024
katy kirby - drop dead
raffaella - fcking smiling
sophie cates - i don’t see you (how i used to)
luna shadows - little rituals
phoebe go - something you were trying
madi diaz - everything almost
abigail osborn - in case of emergency
ivers - best behavior
allie kelly - gunshy
pomplamoose - nuclear kittens (ça devient chaud)
padma - time back
marika hackman - no caffeine
etta marcus - skin parade
sophie may - no more birthdays
rosie tucker - all my exes live in vortexes
ash the ghost - achy bones
lutalo - running
haley blais - coolest fucking bitch in town
tyzo bloom - an apocalypse
brimheim - brand new woman
teen jesus and the jean teasers - salt
miette hope - bubblewrap
frankie cosmos - uncrossed path
waterbaby - 911
jana horn - energy go
sarah jarosz - days can turn around
lighthearted - wasted 2
devon gabriella - older
eee gee - she-rex
lølø - snow in berlin
neriah - cause of death
nina cobham - effort in
moon panda - current
brand new legs - hug slut
gayle - orange peel
sad alex - airbag
fletcher - lead me on
jessia - without you
girli - be with me
leah kate - liar
similar kind - face to face
between friends - really good cry
faye webster - lego ring
charlotte sands - pity
chloe adams - take me to hell
agnes hartwich - cult leader (golden retriever)
jades goudreault - jet like bennie
emeline - feelings
cloudy june - retail therapy
g flip - kevin
bump of chicken - souvenir
jyocho - guide and devote
elephant gym - adventure
bearwear - shibuya
verandah - not bad
wisp - your face
boilermaker - shepherd
pile - exits blocked
well kept things - older
hannah grae - time of your life
vial - falling short
sleater-kinney - needlessly wild
the veronicas - detox
rosemary fairweather - same thing
varsity - souvenirs
packs - honey
eyedress - a room up in the sky
bullion - rare
avalon emerson - astrology poisoning
twen - seastar
nabihah iqbal - this world couldn’t see us
jako diaz - breathe
edapollo - favourite place
four tet - loved
braids - evolution
glen check - nevada
the aces - suburban blues
tigerstate - soltar pra fora
r. missing - spellbound
yör - badekar
(g)i-dle - wife
4s4ki - rolo
celeina ann - cho nemui
wisue - come into my dream
silly silky - 4d
pallas - puppy luv
nanna.b - cumlaude-dodi
lunadira - crying over nothing (wah wah)
so wylie - in the now
katie mcbride - hideaway
vtss - steady pace
kali uchis - me pongo loca
yaffle - boomerang
r.a.p. ferreira - 47 rockets taped to my chair (for dr. refaat alareer)
logic - intergalactic icons
tame one - molly
lil nas x - j christ
mista sinista - september (remember)
the park - always good
meltycanon - constellations
umi - show me out
iamddb - cry baby
aryeè the gem - flights
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cosmicstarpiece · 8 months
Text
Getting Ready for Adventure
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Saturday night. Life has been sort of on the uneventful side from a personal life perspective.
I got back from seeing the fam in Jersey a couple weeks ago. It was rejuvenating and kinda sad at the same time. It was nice to see those who wanted to see me. I got to see that some relatives are not really talking to and my cousin Sophie is pretty much an addict for suboxone and her ex husband. She is barely there for the kids let alone leaves the house. She constantly is talking to her ex. It's sad to watch. I tried to have a talk with her but at the same time I cannot compromise my personal energy to help her. She needs to help herself get to detox.
In a couple weeks, I will be going to Iceland for my graduation present. I am currently trying to get my belongings together and am looking for waterproof pants :) Since I went to Hawaii earlier this year, I wanted to go somewhere arctic. Just booked my reservation to the Blue Lagoon.
So far, just been professionally working with mentors to find my next job and move for hopefully next year. Trying to build my resume and get myself VP ready.
Everything is a work in progress. Just found I can get 8 now instead of 5 free therapy sessions so will probably book after I get back from Iceland. So here's to improvement and more weight loss! I am currently 30 pounds down from 2 years ago. So here's to progress.
See you later. x
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roachmattea · 3 years
Note
i ship alina x therapy, after that we can talk everything else
you know what i stan you now
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departeamemes · 3 years
Text
👫 for mal x celestia | @magierogers​
malcolm used to count all of kol’s toes fingers when he was just a baby because it was relaxing to him. he also enjoyed it because kol would smile when he touched his toes and fingers when he counted them. celestia would do the same on days where mal was too anxious to carry the baby without fear of dropping him and that always always made him feel better.
when mal was mute, celestia was one of the first people he ended up talking to. she’d talk his ear off and he’d listen but he never said anything, until one day, she said something ridiculous and he pulled his malcolm “i need to correct this” card and corrected her; but like politely. she gently nudged him with her elbow and teased him just a bit, making him smile, because in her, he knew that he had a friend. 
malcolm actually stops seeing his father at some point due to celestia making him painfully aware that his father will never care about him and only really sees him as an extension of himself and object. mal tries to argue - well not argue, argue - that he needs his help for cases, but celestia tells him he’s perfectly capable on his own. so he listens to her and cuts his father out of his life completely and actually starts going to therapy again. it’s a long process but mal finds out that sophie survived on his own and there’s no endicot nonsense (unless you want there to be??? cause i know your ainsley didn’t kill anyone??? unless she did???) and that helps him relax some. 
malcolm and celestia have a decent sized wedding. jessica insists it be huge but mal wanted it to be comfortable. so it’s a good size. celestia wears a beautiful dress that makes mal cry and they have a slow dance. for his gift to her, he does a ballet representing their relationship together and what it means to him. 
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noramachwitz · 5 years
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I admit I haven't seen season 2 of Druck because I really dislike it in OG and skipped straight to season 3. However, I have seen that Druck has made some significant changes to S2 so I wanted to ask if you could list your favourite good changes they made in comparison to the OG. Thanks x
anon this is the most fun ask i’ve ever gotten #nice and same i did not like s2 in OG at all and before druck s2 started i was fully prepared to just bare it and enjoy the girl squad moments when i could bc i didn’t even like winterberg in s1 either so yeah i was mostly dreading it BUT THEN!!! druck actually won me over by doing this:
(and obviously this got long and is full of ~spoilers lmao)
they had alex repeat his last school year which means he was in the same year as the rest of the crew and had classes with them, actually participated in organisation in the abibook comittee and was kinda friends with jonas and hosting some meetings in his home and actually you know being integrated into the wider group was an a+ choice
björn (the nico character) isn’t actually related to alex!!! he’s alex’s sister’s ex boyfriend and alex already hates him and literally hits him
which leads me to one of the best and bravest changs druck has done imo: alex doesn’t beat up some random bc he doesn’t believe in the justice system and thinks violence is the answer to everything no but alex actually beats up björn with a skateboard once he hears that he has been inside his apartment and that he’s met mia which makes it a lot more visceral and a gut reaction that came from a place of panic and fear instead of a planned attack in a group you know what i mean? AND: HE REPORTS HIMSELF TO THE POLICE FOR IT!!! HE HIMSELF!!
especially because just the episode before the skateboard incident we saw alex have a panic attack while sobbing that he wasn’t there (and we didn’t know what happened to his sister at that point yet) which in general was just because they fleshed out alex so much more than they ever did with william (extra bonus: alex actually got to tell his own story about his sister to mia just like mia got to tell him what happened with björn herself)
alex’s sister sophie actually died last year so before s1 even started!! it’s why he behaves the way he does in s1 (until the iconic cliche scene where mia tells alex how it is) and that kinda jolts him back to life and starts the process of dealing with sophie’s death
mia is actually the one who keeps going after alex in the beginning!! it’s not alex constantly bothering her no it’s the other way around alex is pretty much minding his own business and mia keeps demanding things from him
we actually know why they like each other?? we see them bond?? in 2.07 they basically spend an entire week together having personal conversations in every clip and generally getting to know each other a lot more and it’s beautiful (druck writes couples and build up to couples really well in general imo)
mia in general ……. i love her so much imo they gave her a lot more agency in her season than noora had (i feel noora was often the “victim” of the plot around her while mia was always responsible for every situation she was in pre 2.09) and mia made decisions noora never would have which made her a lot more messy and i just love what they did with her and how they developed her character
KIKI!!!! the character development she went through is insane, she actually ends up going to therapy for her ED (and she talks to mia about it as well who talks about her experiences with it as well which as far as i know has happened in no other remake so far)
one last thing: i’m forever grateful that hanna didn’t go down the classic eva route of turning into a party girl but no!! hanna concentrates on school and her friends and herself and it’s actually jonas who’s got quite the problem with the breakup and who is spiralling
EDIT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT: alex’s reaction to finding out what björn did to mia?? HE WANTED TO BEAT HIM UP AGAIN IMMEDIATELY
obviously s2 isn’t perfect and it did have its flaws (some pretty glaring) but damn i still think the good changes outweigh the bad ones
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giajiaaa · 5 years
Text
Chapter 10: The End
m a s t e r l i s t
A/N: So so so sorry this took like 2 weeks more or less. I hope this chapter made up my broken promise to you guys. Love ya
Words: 1767
Warnings: implied smut. Like a lot. Swearing.
Tags: @otherthingsinhead @x-wingwarriorbbpoe8 @whyisgmora @soylaprincessa @tearsofafallenangel @thelazyjellyfish @pascalisthepunkest
My head snapped towards the direction of his voice. Beads of sweat were on his forehead and his breathing was heavy. I felt disgusted. “I didn’t hear you knock. What are you doing with-”
“Shut it! You stay away from Veronica you sick freak!”, I pointed at his direction accusingly, slowly backing out towards the front door with the photo still in my hands. As Mike was stuttering with his words, confused at Pedro’s words, his eyes glanced at what I was holding and he chuckled rather nervously, “Don’t tell her, please. There’s no way she can know.”
“You’re sick.”
Before I could say another thing, Mike bolted towards me and instead of running out the door, I stood in self-defense and raised my clenched fists to stop Mike’s punch which was heading for my face.
— A few minutes later —
Normal POV
You arrived at your apartment and started hurrying up the stairs, already anxious for what you have planned tonight. You swung the door open but was greeted with complete silence. The place was empty which is a good sign but then you saw Pedro’s shoes and backpack which were in their proper places, oh no. You rushed over to the bedroom and then the bathroom and every room in your flat. There was no sign of him anywhere but why was his stuff here? You trotted back to the kitchen to check your phone which you only just realized that you left it before going out with Sophie. The screen flickered on and you muttered, “Fuck.”
You facepalmed and groaned as you leaned on the kitchen table after you saw the countless notifications from Pedro. Yet you wondered where he was at this exact second when you read the text, “I’m heading home.”
You thought he might have went out to do something you weren't entirely sure what. Anyways, you trotted back to the bed room along with your lingerie to get ready for tonight. As you adjusted the straps of your bra and while looking at yourself in the mirror, you heard the front door open abruptly and slammed shut almost immediately along with heavy footsteps making you feel confused and worried which urged you to come out of the bedroom with a robe covering your half-naked body and into the living room. You gasped to see Pedro with a small bruise on his cheekbone, a small cut on his nose and his lip. You eyes widened in disbelief and shock before you ran up to him so you would inspect for any other injuries. But before you could place your hands on him, Pedro pulled you in for a soul-crushing hug. He huffed on your shoulder and hummer a soft,"I'm so glad you're safe."
"What happened to you? H-How did you get this- and this? Did something happen? Who fucking did this to you?!"
"I'll explain everything to you later, I-"
"No! José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal you are explaining everything that happened to you right here this instant..", tears rolled down your cheeks as the feeling of worry turned into grief and anxiousness. Pedro rested you head on his chest and brushed his hand through your soft hair as an attempt to comfort you before leading you to the bedroom to explain everything to you.
— A few minutes later —
"How could Mike do this? I don't understand anything at all. I just can't believe any of what you just said. I—",you sobbed on Pedro's arms as you clutched the little photo which Pedro found at Mike's apartment. Your heart was broken. Completely devastated. But yet felt a little bit relieved that Pedro came back home safe and Mike controlled for the meanwhile.
"Aside from calling the police, I can't think of any other way to keep the both of us safe for a longer time. Considering that you wouldn't do a thing such as the latter.",you looked up at him and slumped yourself on his lap as he brushed his hand through your hair.
"For now, let's just focus on the play. And if you're okay with it, we could vent everything out in a way that we both would like..I think we both need to relax..",his eyes with passion as he stared at you on his lap. Your eyes flickered and immediately you sat up to straddle him and rest your palms on his shoulders. Pedro's lips crashed with yours but in a gentle way, your tongue tangled with his and both your hands roamed around each other's body. Each piece of clothing slowly removed and thrown on the floor, your legs entwining as the both of you laid back on the bed…
— A few weeks later —
It was opening night. Lights flashed everywhere as you entered the theater, not by yourself but with Pedro, the both of you holding hands and smiling at the people saying your names. Hours later, the whole play was finished and the curtains closed as well as the actors' exiting the stage. Before your boyfriend could fade into the backstage, he looked behind you with a glimmering smile plastered on his face. The same way you looked at him as you locked eyes with him.
You made your way to the dressing rooms and spotted Pedro's door just up ahead but you slowed your pace as you caught a glance at Javiera and Nico. Sure, you were excited to meet his family but the thought of rejection bothered you knowing the fact that his siblings couldn't possibly do that but still. Nico's girlfriend stepped out of the room and saw you a few feet away, you slapped yourself mentally as she called you out and alerting Pedro and the others. She grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into a soul-crushing hug before you entered the dressing room where you were greeted by Pedro's family and close friends.
They were the first to make a conversation with you especially Javiera and Nico who teased you with a lot of niece and nephew jokes making you blush for the entire time you were with them in the room. Whilst this was happening, Pedro crossed his arms and leaned on the table in front of the mirror as he watched the scene with a warm smile on his face. You saw him and you instantly hugged him, whispering in his ear,"You did great. I love you", making you smile while resting your head on his chest.
"Either the two of you get another room or all of us are eating dinner. Come on!", Javier slipped herself between you and Pedro, looping her arms around yours and Pedro before dragging the both of you out of the room while the others chuckled.
IAs dinner progressed and the night fell, all of you finally decided to go home and say your goodbyes and hopes for more bonding time. You and Pedro made your way home clasping each other's hand and occasional glances at each other, leaving both of you a blushing mess when you arrived at the apartment. He opened the door for you and were greeted by Jake who has joyful when he finally approached his owner. "You played really well tonight. I'm glad you finally got to bond with my family, you have no idea how much that means to me.",Pedro whispered into your ear as he hugged you from behind and pecked your cheek. This made you smile and face him, pulling him into a gentle kiss. You stayed like that for a while, being in each other's arms and sharing a passionate kiss, until a knock came on the door. Pedro broke the kiss and pecked your forehead before whispering,"I'll get it." You sat in the sofa petting Jake, running your hand through his soft fur yet tensed as you heard Pedro swear on the doorway.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!", you hurried up to him and your eyes widened to see the last person you wanted to see, Mike. Mike saw you as well and started to back up from the doorframe as Pedro put himself between both of you to keep you safe. "Ronnie. I can explain. I just need you to listen to me. Please."
"She's not listening to any of your bullshit. Now leave!", Pedro started to approach Mike with clenched fists but you stop him.
"Calm down. Let me handle this… I'll be fine.", you squeezed his arm to assure him and stepped in front of him to talk to Mike. "You broke my heart. You know that right?"
Mike's eyes filled with regret as his shoulders slumped down, "Yeah, I know. It was..crazy for me to do that. I was selfish, filled with lust and... I'm sorry. You probably won't forgive me, Pedro as well. I wouldn't believe it if you did. I went to therapy actually, so you wouldn't worry about me stalking you and your boyfriend.  And I'm also leaving New York. I'll move in with my sister out of state, you probably won't see me again unless you want to. Just do this for me Ronnie, take care…", Mike nodded to Pedro who was behind you, leaning on the doorway watching over you in case anything happens. You looked behind and Pedro nodded back. Before Mike could leave, you hugged him as you whispered your final words to him,"Take care of yourself as well. I'll miss you."
"Bye Ronnie."
"Bye."
And with that, he left. For good and for now. You shut the door softly and exhaled as Pedro wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, "You okay?"
"You know what? Yeah. Everything feels perfectly fine.",you chuckled in relief and turned around to face him and plant a long passionate kiss to his soft lips as the both of you slowly lead yourselves to the bedroom to have a celebration for everything good that has happened.
You laid in bed with Pedro, your head resting on his bare chest as you swirled circles around his torso while his hands roamed and brushed your soft hair. Your body fit right into his and you felt content. You looked up at Pedro and smiled, "I'm glad I bumped into you."
"Was it you that bumped into me?I'm pretty sure it was me who—"
"Oh shush. Come here.",you straddled him and shared a hungry kiss with him. The two of you broke apart and stared into the brown space of each other's eyes saying, "I love you."
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almostrealdudes · 5 years
Text
Data Recovery (Elliot Alderson x fem!OC)
Pairing: Elliot Alderson x Sophia (OC) Word count: 1.2k Warnings: Weed use, lightest erotica Summary: I dreamt of you again. I’d tell you all about it, but I think you already know. I think you saw me too. Our dreams are synchronized. Or was it the reality? I can’t tell. Good things are usually not real in my life. I’m used to it. After everything, it’s hard to believe for something that wonderful to be real. But I still want it to be. Tell me you’re real. Please. part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4
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I don’t want to exaggerate, but today is the best I have ever felt. In a long time, at least. We bought groceries. Sophia made dinner. Is this reality? Everything else aside, I haven’t eaten homemade food in a long time. And this pasta is
“Is it good?” If this keeps happening, I’ll assume she can read my mind.
“It’s great,” maybe she really can. Who knows anymore? “Thanks.”
Mr. Robot is gone. I guess I managed to get rid of him. It’s better this way. I don’t want him here. Especially when…
About that.
“So, how exactly are you going to prove me it’s real?”
She puts her fork to the side. Her eyes linger on me for a moment.
“I—” she struggles with words. “I don’t exactly have a plan.”
Of course.
“Was it all just to prevent me from kicking you out?”
“Well, it worked, didn’t it?”
I mean... how do you call this? Sure. Great matters call for great measures. Or she is actually insane. She smiles, but the corners of her lips drop quickly when she sees my reaction.
“Listen,” she leans in and covers my hand. It twitches, but I don’t move it away. Her palm is warm. “This isn’t exactly a scientific matter. There is no technical way to prove what I’m saying. But, whatever this is, I can feel it. Every time we get closer, it intensifies. So, to check it, we need—”
“—to get close.”
“Yeah.”
“Like sex?”
Sophia tenses up and jerks her hand back. Did I take it too far?
“I—I was thinking more like sleeping in the same bed, but… yeah. Like sex.”
It got awkward. Did I make it awkward? I should probably clarify.
“If you don’t—”
“I do! I do.” Sophia lowers her gaze. She’s nervous. That makes two of us. I feel like I’m thirteen. “It’s just—you weren’t really in the mood for it then, so I—I didn’t think I should mention it. But—” she sighs and looks back at me. “I want it. And if you want it too – we can—you know—make it happen.”
Way to make it even more awkward. It’s good she removed her hand from mine. My heart is beating so fast I think every part of my body would give it away.
“Do you want to get high?”
She smiles in relief.
“Yes. Please.”
I know what you’re going to ask. Where’s my skepticism? It’s still here. Don’t worry. It’s just—it gets exhausting, okay? Easy for you to have an opinion, you’re an observer. I am the one to make decisions. I can’t trust Mr. Robot to do it, he’ll ruin everything. And at this point, dragging anyone else into this would be pointless. Stupid even. I really want this to work. I am more and more sure that Sophia isn’t lying to me or exploiting my trust. She’s just lonely. And I’m well aware of how it feels. Sitting with her, smoking, talking about nonsense, it’s nice. It’s nice to not be alone, not to be occupied with world-changing stuff or revolution planning for change. It’s nice to feel normal. It’s not permanent, nor is it long-lasting. I’m sure the Dark Army will come back. But until then… I am allowed to enjoy myself. Right?
“Wow, I haven’t done that stuff since college,” she says, coughing out the smoke.
“ Really?” I ask, taking the joint from her. “How did you survive?”
“Meds, mostly.”
“Well, it’s never too late to incorporate weed into your diet.”
“What would that be, herbal therapy?”
“Exactly.”
I make a deep puff and offer the joint to Sophia, but she smiles and shakes her head. She’s probably high already, considering the last time she smoked was like seven years ago, if not earlier. My head’s getting lighter. I take my time to examine her. She sits on the couch, her head thrown back, relaxed smile on her face. She’s so beautiful. I feel happy from her I’m doing that thing again, I know. Throwing myself onto the person the second they start acting nice towards me. But it’ so hard not to do around her. She’s magnetizing. The way she smiles, the way she sits, the way she breathes. I want to hold her.
She looks very tired, even on weed. Whatever it is on her mind, it must be exhausting. I get it. I wonder what she is thinking about. She turns her head and looks at me. I see the entire galaxy in her eyes. The way it shifts, the way it shines. It’s that sound again. The—
“Wind chimes,” she says quietly, staring into my eyes. I feel a lump in my throat. I silently nod in reply. I think if I say anything, I’ll start crying. Last time I allowed that sound to take over me, I felt out of this world. I don’t want to block it anymore. When I look into her eyes, I have this strong feeling, like I’m seeing several people at once. They all connect within her irises, merging together. My breath starts trembling the longer I maintain eye contact with her.
“I want you to be right,” I can’t speak any louder than a whisper. It’s because of weed. Or her. “I want this to be true.”
Her hand is so close to mine, I can feel its warmth. I long for it. It’s magnetizing. Sophia glances down. Our fingers touch. I can almost see the smallest bolts of lightning between our finger pads.
“So—” I stop myself, memories flashing through my mind. It’s about her. It’s all about her.
The sofa screaks. Her face is inches from mine. Have you ever anticipated a thing that hard? I can’t remember I have. My heart is pounding. In any other case, I would be a little worried.
Blossoming flowers.
Blue waves.
Icy road.
Machine guns.
Popcorn.
Woodpecker.
This dress looks so good on you.
You don’t deserve this life.
I don’t want to ruin what we have.
Who is it? Me? Or them? Are we the same? Your face is so familiar. How long have we known each other? Is it months? Years? Decades? Do you remember doing all this? Why is it when I look at you, I feel at home? Do you feel it? Are we still here? Can you still hear the cars? Or are they gone? Are we gone? Is the place changing? Or are we? Am I asleep? Recently, I dreamt of you again. I’d tell you all about it, but I think you already know. I think you saw me too. Our dreams are synchronized. Or was it the reality? I can’t tell. Good things are usually not real in my life. I’m used to it. After everything, it’s hard to believe for something that wonderful to be real. But I still want it to be.
Tell me you’re real.
Please.
Sophie.
“Sophie.”
“Elliot.”
The way you say my name. The way your hand touches my mine. Your lips are warm against my skin, soft. Your breath is at my neck. I want you. I need you.
“Be with me.” I can’t tell what I’m thinking and what I’m saying out loud anymore.
“I am. I’m here. I’m here, Elliot.”
I want to feel your body, I want you to be closer, closer, closer.
“I’ve missed you, Elliot.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
I remember, I remember so much. It’s overwhelming. Why do I feel like I’ve waited years for this? Because I did? Touching you, kissing you, being inside you. Loving you. You. It’s always been you.
Sophie.
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oneortoomany-blog · 4 years
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An introduction to an alcoholic.
In all honesty, I’m not too sure where to begin with explaining what my story is about.
Addiction is undeniably controversial; as is mental health. But whilst both are taboo in their own right; the more we choose not to talk about them, whether through shame or fear, the greater the lack of understanding and therefore the lack of acceptance becomes. I know full well that there are a lot of stereotypes and judgement when it comes to alcoholics and addicts because I used to hold those assumptions myself. Why should we feel sorry for them? They’ve brought it on themselves after all?  It’s easy enough to criticise another person’s decisions because quite frankly we can never see ourselves ending up in that position. It’s easy enough to tell an addict to ‘just stop’, when in reality we can’t even begin to comprehend the magnitude of that step until we find ourselves in those shoes. I never thought I’d take drugs let alone learn how to make a crack pipe. I never thought I’d become an alcoholic, get arrested, declare myself homeless or find myself living in a women’s refuge. In fact, I’m not quite sure if I’m writing this as an explanation to people who are both strangers and those close to me as to what I have been through over the past few years, or as some form of therapy to try and rid myself of the guilt and regrets that eat me up each morning. So perhaps my story will only add to your stereotype, exasperate your belief that if you get yourself into a situation, it’s your own responsibility to get yourself out. But I’m hoping it’s not going to be like that, and if it is, well… you might as well take off your reading glasses and make yourself a cuppa instead because this story isn’t for you Suzanne. 
So here goes; My name is Sophie, I am twenty-five years old, and I am a recovering alcoholic.
 I know exactly what you’re thinking, but no, that is not the bio for my Tinder account. 
As I write this sentence, I have been sober for 9 months, or 273 days, or  23,587,200  seconds.
Early recovery has not been an easy ride. I have spent 6 months inside a residential rehabilitation facility, and if I’m completely honest, I thought that would be the answer. I thought I would walk out of that treatment centre after I’d served my time (six months felt like nothing less than a prison sentence…) and that I simply would never want to drink or use again. It’s safe to say that life inevitably came along and burst that little bubble of mine. But I’m still standing, and I certainly won’t be giving up the fight anytime soon.
I’m sure that I am bound to receive my fair share of criticism for the things that I’m willing to open up and write about. In all honesty, I was originally so ashamed of many parts of the past few years that I wasn’t sure I dared to open up at all. But I realise that whilst life certainly has both its ups and downs, sometimes it can be difficult to appreciate the light until we fully explore the darkness. So I invite you into my darkness and to share in this experience with me, in the hope that perhaps we can all learn to better appreciate the light, and I hope that whilst my story certainly has its share of downs, a small amount of light still shines through. In any case, if all else fails, you’ll probably leave here feeling a little better about your own life regardless, in the same way that I sometimes watch old Jeremy Kyle episodes to remind myself that whilst my life is a complete mess, at least I haven’t slept with my brother in law. 
So this is me. The good, the bad and the unbelievable.
Sophie
x
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randomlynormalgirl · 5 years
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Joker Movie Thoughts
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this is a bunch of jumbled, unstructured thoughts about the joker movie because I can’t stop thinking about it and I needed to write at least some of my thoughts down. might add to it every now and then. hope you enjoy it anyway if you end up reading it :)
MASSIVE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!!!!
watching the ‘joker’ movie felt like a very visceral experience for me. the movie manages to hold and intertwine many complicated themes alongside the plot so eloquently that I am not surprised it received an 8 minute standing ovation. I will be personally outraged if Joaquin phoenix does not receive an Oscar for his portrayal of the joker character because he manages to perfectly display the descent into madness as well as the tragedy of the movie. This movie manages to make you want to sympathise with Joker because the course of events leading up to him becoming the joker is very tragic and given the right circumstances would turn any sane man mad, yet you know you shouldn’t empathise with him because you understand he is mentally ill and that he sees violence as the only way to exact his revenge. Every scene in the movie is a trailer moment yet I didn’t feel like the movie was spoiled for me in any way.
Another aspect of the movie I liked is that Joaquin Phoenix manages to use his acting skill so well that he can subtly show how the joker’s descent into madness builds to a crescendo so spectacularly. How the first dance he does after his first kills is slow and controlled compared to that when he is fully embracing his madness and dancing on the steps so freely, because in his madness he is set free. It reminds me of Midsommar in that way slightly. Also, Joaquin’s body during the movie was also a strange sight and the dedication he put into the role to make himself look that skinny and ill simply astounded me. also, knowing that Joaquin improvised the dancing in the bathroom after Arthur's first three murders makes the scene all the more eerie to me. i hope he looked after himself after he finished filming for the movie because i dread another heath ledger situation, i don't think my heart could take it
I also appreciated that despite the amount of violence in the movie, a lot of the deaths are actually not shown. I think it’s a sign of good acting and good directing when the audience can guess what’s happened behind the scenes just from a few context clues (such as the end of the movie when he leaves the therapists office trailing bloody footprints)
I saw someone on twitter say that the joker movie is just Marxism in practise and honestly I can't fault their logic. The working class leading a violent revolution against the top 1% because they want better than the shitty lower hand they have been dealt, the fact that the newspapers in the film literally call it the 'kill the rich' revolution, the fact that Thomas Wayne literally calls them all clowns and it only ends up spurring on the revolt further. i mean, i can definitely see it.
The story is heartbreaking because it is believable. Watching as a mentally ill man is pushed to the extreme due to funding cuts for his therapy which ultimately stopped him getting the medication he needed to stay sane, poverty, an abusive childhood, a mentally ill mother whilst also living in a classist society where the working class are oppressed by people like Thomas Wayne. A good example of this to me is his first trio of murders; he only killed them because the three Wall Street type guys were going to beat him to death had he not pulled out the gun to kill them, yet it is certain that if Arthur had been killed by those men no one would care because he was not someone worth reporting on in the eyes on the media. In short, anyone below middle class in Gotham were considered nobody and they had enough. Arthur merely sparked the rebellion.
I enjoyed how the joker didn’t plan to become a political figure in the movie. He unintentionally becomes a martyr to the people of Gotham and how that tied in with the origins of batman was a very cool moment for me as part of the audience.
To add to this, the ending of the movie being dubious was an interested touch. Throughout the movie we learn that we cannot always trust Arthur’s perspective. From his fantasy of being on his idol’s TV show, down to his delusion of the romance between him and Sophie. So, the idea that the end of the movie suggesting it was all in his imagination was interesting to me. I, however, don’t subscribe to such a theory because I think the final flash of Bruce with his dead parents was the director giving us that subtle hint that this time the joker wasn’t just dreaming of being successful and loved by many, it was real this time. A slightly less important note but the aesthetic of the whole movie was just very grainy and gritty and fit the film? like the old school format, the cinematography and the fucking SOUNDTRACK. 'that's life' by Frank Sinatra is one if my favourite songs and the fact is features so heavily in this movie was a really cool moment for me? i also really liked the whole riot scene; it just felt really raw and gritty and like a true climax to the joker's story as he finally becomes the persona fully and finds his new identity as the figurehead for this revolution in Gotham
Of course, I cannot talk about this film without mentioning my beloved heath ledger and his depiction of the joker, and the references and similarities between the two. Let me make one thing clear; phoenix’s and ledger’s joker are nowhere near the same. I remember reading that Joaquin and heath were very good friends, and that Joaquin did not in anyway want to impose on heath’s legacy. He understands how legendary that role was and said while he loves that portrayal he didn’t want to be a cheap imitation. I believe he has fully achieved such a feat but I cannot help but compare. Some ‘Easter eggs’ or possible homages to heath that I recognised were:
-the scene where Arthur is in the back of the police car reminded me very much of that scene in the dark knight where joker steals the cop car (ledger / phoenix). I realise that is is also supposed to parallel the scene earlier where he is sat all sad on the bus compared to how happy he looks in the police car but i didn't quite get it straight away.
-Arthur using his own blood to paint the smile on his face (x) after the car crash reminded me of the ledger makeup look
-Arthur saying to Sophie that he ‘had a bad day’ reminded me instantly of when heath ledger’s joker said something along the lines of ‘everyone is just one bad day away from being like me’
none-Ledger related Easter eggs I noticed too were:
-the protesters laying Arthur across the hood of the crashed cop car Jesus-style to signify that he's saintly to them was a nice touch -Bruce coming down the fireman’s pole was reminiscent of the Adam west batman series where they had to come down the fireman’s pole
-the joker being attached to the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents (although less directly in this depiction)
-the font of the late night talk show is the same as batman the animated series
-I’ve seen some people say that the backdrop of the talk show is the same during the titles of the animated series too
-joker killing the host was reminiscent of the dark knight returns where joker kills the audience of a TV talk show
-apparently the look of this joker is similar to that of one of his video game iterations but I can’t find that -the sort of reference to the inspiration behind the entire joker character by having Arthur have a condition where he can't help but laugh in certain situations, when the joker was based on the film 'the man who laughs' where a man is cursed to never stop smiling no matter how much he tries -major inspiration from taxi driver, which also features Robert De Niro so its a cool touch -some kind of reference to the movie 'the king of comedy', a movie centring around a person obsessed with a tv show host which has similar plot points and also features robert de niro again which is pretty cool
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elejah-wonderland · 5 years
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Always/3
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Fanfiction
Part 3
Elijah Mikaelson x reader/Elena
ft Klaroline
Summary: Elijah and Y/N/E are happily married, until one night changed everything. What happened - read and find out. 
This is fluffy and so very alternative universe. I hope you like it. Here is quite a lengthy chapter. Thanks for reading and liking. I so appreciate it. xoxo
tags @rissyrapp20 @dendrite-lover @cassienoble2000 @elejahforever @hides2000 @captainshurley
_________
Y/N/E watched Elijah through the window as he walked over to his car. 
“How do you feel after - your first meeting?”- Bonnie now asked Y/N/E.
“He’s ni-ce”- Y/N/E replied.
“He is quite an amazing person from all I have heard about him.”- Bonnie continued. 
Y/N/E now turned around and looked at her psychiatrist.
“I will go - ho-me to him?”
“Yes. He is your husband. Unless you don’t want to. You can go to your parents -”
Y/N/E now shook her head. 
“With him. I wa-nt to go with - him.”
Bonnie nodded in ok. They now sat down to talk more about how the meeting with Elijah went, thought it was obvious that she was fine with him. Still, Bonnie could tell by her body language that she was apprehensive. 
And so -three months had passed since Y/N/E woke up.Thee months of intensive speech therapy, exercise, helped her immensely to get back to life, as she said. Only thing that remain was the locked memory of her previous life. Bonnie explained to her an Elijah that she might get it back in time, but she might never get it back. Y/N/E didn't seem to be affected by it much.
"She could feel resigned. Sometimes people do that. She focused all of her strength to speak again. That was her main preoccupation. And rightly so, she has done tremendously well. Some don't manage what she has in such a short time. She is a fighter. But, you still have to be very patient with her."- Bonnie said as she sat down to speak with Elijah the day of Y/N/E's release from the Clinic.
"That is something I got plenty of"- Elijah said-"I understand that nothing can be rushed an it's the last thing I would ever do"-
"You have suffered along with her. It would be good that you speak to someone to. There are support groups, but if you son't prefer that I know an excellent therapist. Camille O'Connell."
"Thank you. I'll consider it"- Elijah said and now got up.
"There are strong people, and I see that you are one, but everyone has limits. You're only human. An I am not saying that's a bad thing. -Bonnie said.
Elijah nodded a little, understanding what she meant.
"I will still see her here every week for a session."- Bonnie said as it was obvious that their talk came to the end- "Good luck"
"Thank you for everything you and your husband have done."- Elijah said now putting his hand out to Bonnie. The psychiatrist now shook it and said-
"That's our job.”
Both of them then went to Y/N/E, who was still busy packing some of her stuff to take home.
Bonnie's Flashback
Day before, in the session with Bonnie
"So, do you feel ready to go home?"- Bonnie asked.
Y/N/E took a moment and answered it-
"Yes and no."
"And how do you feel about Elijah?"
Y/N/E looked at the flower bouquet he had brought her the day before.
"He is nice."
Bonnie wrote a note down.  It was the same feeling she expressed after meeting him the first day at the Rehabilitation two months earlier. She then looked at Y/N/E. She was now looking at the photo that she had put in a frame-
"I feel good around him. Everything he said to me looks like we had a happy marriage. And he has done so much for me"
"So, you are happy to go home with him?"- Bonnie asked.
"Yes."- Y/N/E said.
Bonnie noted down that Y/N/E was positive about Elijah, but her demeanour showed that she didn't express anything that made her feel more than just feel good around him.
Elijah now took the bags and waited a little till Bonnie and Y/N/E said their goodbyes. Although Bonnie was her therapist, she got attached to the woman. She considered her her friend. Y/N/E gave her a hug. Then turned to Elijah, who asked if she was ready and Y/N/E smiled a little nodding. Inside she still felt quite apprehensive. It was like entering the world with new eyes. Everything, every day was like she had been put in a book of collage art. One chapter was her art, the other her husband, her parents, her friends, herself. Everything was jumbled up. 
As they got into the car, he asked-
"What would you like for dinner?"
"Pizza"- Y/N/E replied.
"Pizza?"- he said surprised. She never like pizza for some strange reason.
"It as on my dislike list. I want to try it and see why I dislike it so much."- Y/N/E said.
"All right. Do you want to pick up something from your like list?"
"Red wine, but I guess I cant have it because of my medication"- Y/N/E said.
"You used to like beer. We can get you a non-alcoholic one"- Elijah suggested.
"Beer, really? Jenna didn't write it down."- Y/N/E now said.
"When we met you would always order beer. And then you stopped. Well, you stopped drinking alcohol altogether."-Elijah explained.
"Beer then"-Y/N/E agreed and now asked him-"Do you like pizza?"
"I do. Kol, Klaus an I would meet on Fridays - it was a long time ago- but yes- and it would be playing cards. Then we would always ordered some"
"Why don't I like it?"- Y/N/E inquired.
"You were always eating healthy. You hate junk food actually."
"Oh, yes, Vicky told me"- Elena said now turning to look out of the car window. The streets looked familiar to her. But she didn't know for sure exactly where they were. He could feel that it had discourages her slightly.
“Can we put music on? I have - this- “- Y/N/E now produced an USB with the music Bonnie had helped her choose.
“Yes, of course”- Elijah now took the USB and put it in the car player.As the first song started, Elijah’s eyes glittered with tearfully, but this was a happy glow, as the first song was strangely something he listened to - Photograph - Ed Sheeran.
He glanced at her and she now at him-
“I know it is not something you listen to”- Y/N/E said, and Elijah now gasped thinking she remembered something.
“You remember what I- listened to?”
Y/N/E shook her head and replied-
“Vicky told me what you listen to.”
“Oh.”- Elijah exclaimed a little, and then the second song on the play list was  Greta Van Fleet - Highway tune.
That she took the trouble to put the songs he liked warmed his heart. They had quite a bit in common, like watching old movies, they loved art and shared also a great interest in Opera, but when it came to pop music, they were the total opposite, and she could not understand how he could love the heavy stuff. 
Now, as she played with the fingers to the beat of the drums on her thigh, he had to ask-
“You like the song?”
“Yes”- Y/N/E replied-”and - I would like to learn to play drums.”
“You want to learn to play drums?”- Elijah was stunned.
“Yes. That is strange?”
“It is - unusual. Ahm- but - if you want to - we can arrange it.”- he replied.
“Thank you.”- Y/N/E said.
And they continued listening to the most unusual playlist put together. An hour later they arrived what was their home. As Elijah parked up, and they got out, Y/N/E looked around.
"This is our neighbourhood.”
"It looks really nice."- Y/N/E said.
"Trying new things could be a new adventure"- Elijah now said thinking of her wish to learn to play drums.
"Adventure"- Y/N/E repeated and continued-"I think I like adventures, at least that's what I wrote in that intro for one of my exhibitions. Did I keep a diary?"
"As far as I know you didn't. You wrote a book of essays about ceramics, sculpture. You were about to publish it when-" "The attack happened?!"- Y/N/E stated.
She could for the first time see that it was painful for him to say it.
Y/N/E's Flashback
A few weeks before
Y/N/E looked at the photo of her and her best friend Vicky Donovan.       
She was told by Elijah that her best friend was coming to visit her. She was an actress and lived in Los Angeles. She had read all the well wishing cards she had send her.
"I am so sorry I couldn't come earlier"- Vicky said as she hugged Y/N/E.
"It is fine."- Y/N/E said.
The women got out of the hug and just looked at one another. Y/N/E knew her from the pictures and what Elijah had told her. Everything else was blank.
Vicky then sighed a little and in her bubbly nature said-
"So, everything is - wiped off?!"
"Almost everything. I remember something about myself when I was little."- Y/N/E explained.
Vicky hugged her friend again.
Y/N/E asked her to tell her all about their friendship. And finally about Elijah.
"You married the greatest charmer on this planet"- Vicky said-"every girl wanted him. And he had so many affairs."
"Really?"- Y/N/E was surprised.
"Ok. Don't get this wrong. He is dark, tall and handsome, and deep inside like absolute goodness."
"So, he was with lot's of other women?"
"Yeah, but when he fell in love with you, he only had eyes for you"- Vicky said-"and you didn't make it easy for him."
"Tell me."- Y/N/E said.
"Ok. Here it goes. Ready?"
Y/N/E nodded.
"Right. You first met in this bar. I think it was called ‘Daniel's’. I knew his sister-in-law Sophie."
"Kol's wife?"- Y/N/E interrupted her.
"She is a designer. I met her when I worked as a model"- Vicky explained-"anyway, he was hooking up with a woman -Hayley, I think was her name- and both Sophie and Rebekah couldn't stand her. You know Rebekah-"
Y/N/E swayed with her head implying  that she now didn't really know Rebekah anymore.
"Oh, yes"- Vicky smiled a little apologetically and continued-"Rebekah is the best, but if she doesn't like you- then she is your worst enemy. But she really liked you. The moment she met you she was like your best friend."
"So, I didn't want to be with him cos he was with that woman?"- Y/N/E asked.
"Sort of. You were also kind of dating this guy- Mason Lockwood."
"Kind of?"
"You were off and on. You didn't really want to be serious with anyone."- Vicky explained.
"Then how did it happen? How did I get to marry Elijah?"
"You kept seeing each other. You two both loved that bar. And you just would talk. Like forever. Seriously. You two would sit on the bar and just talked about anything. Your art. The stuff that was going on in the world. New York. Why the spring is better than the autumn. Or why you loved Easter and he loved Christmas."
"So, we started as friends?"
"Pretty much. Although- you were both falling hard and didn't really know you were. And we all watched it and we were all like- get a room already!"- Vicky said.
"And? How then."
"It was for Halloween bonfire night. Rebekah would always organize these theme parties. And we were all invited to the Hamptons."
Y/N/E now got up and looked for the album and then showed her friend the strange photo of her and Elijah in costume.     
"Ah, yes. Wow. Yes, that's it."-Vicky said- "this is the night you made your mind up that you will tell him that you choose him"
"Choose?"- Y/N/E was surprised it had come to the point she had to make a choice.
"Well. Elijah told you how he felt a few days before the party. And he saw you with Mason in the bar and though you broke up with Mason already, but Mason had to kiss you in front of Elijah. And it was all a bit ridiculous. Elijah thought that was it."
"But then I went to the party"
"Yeah, we went to the party"- Vicky said-"and he was there, all completely broken."
"What happened then?"- Y/N/E was eager to find out.
"You went to him and - told him that you choose him- and it's not like you ever had to choose. You were so in love with him already."
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     Taking her bag Y/N/E gave Elijah a significant look now saying-
"I don't know how this will go, but I am ready for this new adventure!"
Elijah put a little smile on and nodded.
"Shall we follow the white rabbit then!?"- he said.
"The white rabbit?"- Y/N/E asked.
"Ok. I will get the book. You will understand when you read the story-"
"Tell me just what it is about?"-Y/N/E said as they got into the elevator.
"It's about this girl Alice- she went through a rabbit hole..."- Elijah started.
__
Elsewhere
Rebekah an Klaus walked in ‘Daniel's’ discussing his latest sail boat design. "This will be state of the art boat. Limited edition"- Klaus said. "Oh, you think about anything else except for your boats?"-Rebekah said sitting down at the bar. "Sometimes"- Klaus said looking at the direction of a blond who was sitting at the bar not far from them. 
"Right"- was Rebekah's comment looking at her phone. She was so eager to phone Elijah to find out how he and Y/N/E were getting on, but she didn't want to intrude on their privacy really.  Klaus had picked up on it and now advised her not to make the call.
"They are fine"- Klaus said.
"You didn't see her. She is Y/N/E, but the way she looked at me was like her doppelganger was looking at me- like someone else was in her body."
"Sure things are not like they were- she has to start over but I believe that Y/N/E, the Great, will conquer this memory thing. Anyway, they need time alone"-as he said that, he got up and walked away to the rest rooms. Kol and Sophie walked in and Rebekah put her phone on the counter waving at her brother and his wife, who had someone with them, someone Rebekah knew all too well. Her heart fluttered as they approached her an she said a faint hi to the man.
"We found Matt lurking outside Tiffany's actually"- Kol said "Tiffany's?"- Rebekah as surprise to hear it. "Yeah, getting an engagement ring"- Sophie said "No, just a bracelet for Vicky - it's her  birthday on the 18th of August!"- Matt said. "But that's like two months away"- Rebekah said "I am in New York just for a couple of days"- Matt explained. "So you're here for- to get her a present"- "No, My mom is not well"- Matt said-"Vicky is on a movie shoot in Toronto, she will be down here this weekend."
The  subject swayed to Y/N/E, who was now walking around the penthouse apartment slightly stunned with the place. Soaring ceilings,marble fireplaces and stunning paintings sparkled in Y/N/E's eyes. A spiral staircase off the living room opened into a luxurious bedroom with an Italian glass chandelier marveling the room. Out back was a private garden, lush with greenery, drenched in sunlight. This was their home. She couldn't believe it. She gazed out in the New York skyline now. 
Elijah, who had just ordered the pizzas, now found her on the terrace.
"Hey-"- he said dearly-"so, how was the tour?"
She turned to him with marvelled eyes -"Are you some kind of a prince, because this definitely looks like a miniature palace"
"No prince, I am afraid"- Elijah said-"just an ordinary guy. Oh, you think this  place- You  inherited it. It's actually yours"- "What? Really?"-Y/N/E looked surprised. "You lived here already when I met you. This place is your muse, your inspiration, because of your grandmother. She supported you as an artist."
"Supported me?"-
"Your parents wanted you to study medicine. But you just wanted to do your thing."- Elijah continued.
They now walked to the kitchen, which was entirely different, very eclectic in style.
"Can I cook?"- Y/N/E asked as Elijah plated out the pizza for them. 
"Yes. There-"- Elijah now showed Y/N/E the photo- on the wall.      
"I have to learn about myself through photographs- "- Y/N/E looked at herself. She had no memory of that. 
Elijah now remembered what Bonnie told him - "We are dealing here with retrograde memory loss. There is no access to  events that occurred, or information that was learned, before the injury. It tends to negatively affect episodic, autobiographical and declarative memory, while usually keeping  procedural memory intact with no difficulty for learning new knowledge."
"So, that means she can't remember anything about what she had done previously."
"Yes, all of that is locked away. There is explicit and implicit memory- People use explicit memory throughout the day, such as remembering the time of an appointment or recollecting an event from years ago. Explicit memory involves conscious recollection, compared with which is an unconscious, unintentional form of memory. Remembering a specific driving lesson is an example of explicit memory, while improved driving skill as a result of the lesson is an example of implicit memory. it's what we call procedural memories. They are automatically retrieved and utilized for the execution of the integrated procedures involved in both cognitive and motor skills, from tying shoes to flying an airplane to reading."- Bonnie explained.
"That means- she will know how to drive a car?"- Elijah asked.
"Yes. But she will not remember learning how to drive, the lessons, for example."
"Come on, let's see if you like the pizza!"- Elijah urged Y/N/E to sit down and for a moment enjoy herself. 
"You did all this."- she sat down at the hub area-"all these photos- telling me my own story?!"
"We have always loved photographing everything around us. I have so many - they are all stored on the computer."- Elijah said.
Y/N/E now took some pizza finally and was absolutely indulging in it. 
"This is sooo good!"- she said in amazement. 
Elijah smiled happily. This was the first time in a very long while that he felt good inside. Seeing her there enjoying the pizza, something she wouldn't ever eat, he thanked the universe for the moment. 
"So, what is next on the list"- he asked.
"Food?"
"Anything-"-he said.
"I don't know yet. I will make a list. Dr Bennett told me to write things down- I think I will start a diary."- Y/N/E said.
"That's a great idea"- Elijah said taking a swag of beer from the bottle. 
Y/N/E did the same.  
****
In the bar, Rebekah, Kol, Sophie and Matt where talking about different topics, whereas Klaus, way too intrigued by the blonde woman,on the way back from the rest rooms now stopped by her, and in a very slick manner addressed her having heard her speak with a distinctive New Orleans accent -
"Sorry, do you happen to be from New Orleans?"
"I am."- Caroline said-"so?"
"Nothing. Just haven't heard 'where y'at?' for a long while"- Klaus said.
"Oh, yeah"- Caroline gave him a look of 'you're really doing this as a pick up line
"Klaus Mikaelson"- he introduced himself-"that bunch over there are my sister, brother, his wife and and my sister's ex- I am pretty harmless- you can ask them"
"Not interested"- Caroline said and now asked for another Bourbon cocktail. 
One thing Caroline Forbes didn't know was that Klaus Mikaelson never gave up so easily, even though this very moment he put his charming smirk on letting her be. He rejoined his siblings. 
Caroline looked after him as she took a sip of her second cocktail. He and his small crowd seemed to have great fun as they joked and laughed. And she nursed a broken heart and the last thing she needed was a guy. Still Klaus gave her a sweet look a few moments later. Caroline embarrassed slightly that he caught her looking at him clumsily made out she was asking for the waiter's attention. 
"A message!"- Rebekah said as her phone buzzed and it was Elijah.
"And?"- Kol and Klaus said in one voice.
Rebekah read out- 'All good"
"Is that it?"- Rebekah was miffed about the short message. 
"What do you want him to tell you"- Kol remarked -"everything will be fine! A round of drinks for everyone!"
Celebrations were in order. This message felt like finally they could start over again.
At the Mikaelson penthouse, Y/N/E and Elijah were going through the different files of photos he had collected and organized on his computer
"So, here- all sorted by year, events, holidays. You can feed it into your computer later."- he said.
"OK. Let's start then- "- Y/N/E said opening the first file- it started with the Bonfire night when they first kissed and she told him she loved him. Then series of photos from parties, exhibition openings, their first trip - New Zealand.  
He had to explain why New Zealand. And that they did the bun then series of photos of their wedding prep.
"Vicky said we eloped!?"- Y/N/E uttered looking at him-"is that why we have no wedding photos?" "Yes. You came to my office - it was sometime in the middle of the preparations all flustered-
Elijah's Flashback retelling Y/N/E how it came about
"I am sorry that I am bothering you at work- but I just can't do it!" "What Y/N/E?" "The whole wedding thing"- "You - are you - what is going on?"- Elijah said feeling as if someone ha pierce him straight in the heart. Y/N/E noticed the sad streak appear in his eyes fearing that was it-she is cancelling everything. She approached him and kissed him wrapping her arms around his neck- "OMG- did you think I was calling it off?"
Elijah nodded slightly.
"Why?"
"You looked so fed up- and we've been together like little over six months- and maybe you got cold feet?"- Elijah said.
"My feet are warm. Very. I just don't like the whole planning thing- and it feels like the wedding planner just took over everything- and I hate the whole guest list and the venue is not right. This is supposed to be about you and me. And I just want to go - elope. There is a place called Mystic Falls in Virginia. I booked the hotel on my way here."
"You did?"- Elijah was stunned.
"We can get married in a private ceremony- they have this beautiful gazebo. I called Vicky and she is all up for supporting us to elope!"- Y/N/E explained.
"Wow! Really?"
"Really!!"- Y/N/E's eyes glimmered with eagerness and cheekiness.
"Ok. Let's do it!"- Elijah agreed-"Your wish is my command!"
And they eloped. The only thing  she took was the wedding dress. Vicky could not go with them as she got a role in a TV show and they took off, asking two complete strangers to stand as their witnesses. 
"You would always do things on an impulse. Maybe not always"- Elijah explained-"but quite often. You were fearless, open, loving, caring, dreamy -"- then he stopped as he realized he said were-"you are- I am sorry- I don't know why I said it in past tense-"
Y/N/E touched his hand instinctively, like always had done when he was sad or frustrated. This was the first time she had touched him after she came out of the coma. If an onlooker could see the moment in slow motion the way he looked at her, her hand on his, then him raising his eyes at her, looking at her with his heart nearly bouncing out of his chest - Y/N/E realized how deeply in love he was with her. This man, that she didn't know, that she had this amazing history with, made her feel all fuzzy inside, but still something kept her away. She didn't know why she felt like something inside of her was holding back. She felt like an outsider in her own life. She didn't know herself, who she really was- just from all the stories people had told her. She didn't even recognize herself in the photo when they first showed her. 
Elijah noticed the frustration taking over and now trying to calm her suggested they take a break from the stories about the past-
"It's been a long day. We don't have to do everything in one day"
"No...no we don't."- Y/N/E said-"when do I have to take the medication?"
Elijah looked at the clock- "in an hour. Do you want to have a little rest?"
"I don't know"- Y/N/E said getting up- "I really don't know."
They stood there in their glorious living room looking at one another enveloped in a limbo. This was never going to be easy. He knew that. The men that left her for dead, took a great part of their lives away.
Flashback
More than a year ago
The attending surgeon got out of the OR. Elijah, Rebekah, Miranda and  Greyson stood up all to hear how the operation went. And the attending asked Elijah to follow him to his office.
"Why?"- Elijah was breaking apart inside.
"Please follow me to the office"- Dr Parker  said.
Elijah went, leaving Rebekah to deal with Greyson and Miranda.
In the surgeon's office, Elijah waited for the news as if he was in  front of the firing  squad.
"This is not an easy thing to say-"- the surgeon paused for a second-"did you know that your wife was eight weeks pregnant?"
"Wha-"- Elijah felt like someone took his life away as he assumed from the surgeon's face what was coming-"it didn't-?"
"I am afraid not- we could not save it- I am really sorry"- he then explained about the rest of the operation.
And why did he think of the most saddest moment in  his life right now- inside he was scolding himself for letting his own deepest sadness overwhelm him- especially on this day that was going so well, on this day when she came home.  
And again, impulse or just plain human feeling,  Y/N/E walked to Elijah, and they looked at one another for a second and just went into a hug. This was Y/N/E, this amazing human being, that had the gift of compassion, selfless completely and utterly. 
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