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amywritesthings · 1 year

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silver underground. / chapter four.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x F!Reader (Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin)

Word Count: 4.2K

Summary: Day 97 - Better known as the first day you reunite with Section Commander Hange Zoe, who has their own plans to recovering your memory.

Warnings: Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Eventual Romance, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Flashbacks, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Nonbinary Hange Zoe, Angry!Levi, Other Additional Tags to be Added As the Story Progresses

( Read on AO3 )

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CHAPTER FOUR.

There is something therapeutic about cleaning.

Clearing stubborn dust in every corner and pesky grime from the floorboards brings a sense of accomplishment — a sense of control, to your day.

It's not what you thought you'd be doing in the midst of preparing for your first official training session with the military, but Petra Ral claims this is how the Scouts indoctrinate all the new recruits.

A rite of passage, so to speak, to learn how important it is to mind your space.

(She's quick to mention you've already completed said rite in another life.)

Petral Ral, better known to you as the girl from Erwin's file, is a devastatingly perky and short redhead with stars in her eyes. Despite the harrowing business of being a Scout, she speaks like she's on the most incredible adventure of her life.

A novel-quality crusade.

She greets you with such excitement upon your arrival with Erwin Smith that you can't help but feel relief that this is your intermittent handler. You don’t remember Petra, not in the way she hopes you will, but she parades you around the rendezvous castle like it's your first day.

Because, according to her, she's just repeating history: she was the one to do this just a few short years ago.

Before you get your hands on military gear and weapons, Petra first offers you a broom and dust pan. "Scrubbing down the common room mess space is first priority," she supplies, holding up her own broom. "You might want to take a cloth to keep your hair out of your face. When you're done with the mess space, you can start on your room. You hold a broom like this, and—"

"Petra," you start, and she waits patiently for your reply. "I'm not braindead, just blank. I remember how to clean."

"You do?"

"Yes," you reassure with a breathy laugh, holding the broom handle with a half-assed sweep of your arm. "Ta-da."

She squeaks in embarrassment, bringing her gloved hand to her mouth.

"Gosh, I'm sorry! This really is just like old times! I'm getting deja vu just looking at you."

"In a good or bad way?"

"Oh, good. Definitely good. You were so fun back then," Petra reassures with a bright grin. "But go, go, go — I'll see you for lunch!"

So you're here some odd hours later, scrubbing down the common room mess space and clearing your swirling mind.

You don't know where Petra's gone, but she can't possibly be far.

This is nice.

Quiet. Manageable.

Tirelessly flinging cobwebs from the ceiling corners, you wipe a hand over your shining forehead and draw a short sigh. This place is looking good. Beyond an improvement to what you first faced upon entering this seemingly abandoned castle.

At least you remember how to make a room spotless—

“Ahh!”

A shrill shriek from behind breaks your peace.

It’s so loud that the broom handle fumbles from your hands and clangs to the floor.

“There she is!”

Startled, you turn to address the danger head-on.

A person with wild brown hair and a military uniform stands in the door of the hallway, fingers folded tightly together at the center of their chest. The Scout crest at their breast distorts by how hard they press their folded palms into their body, like they’re using every ounce of willpower not to—

Too late.

Their arms swing wide as they near. Before you can open your mouth, your body’s being squeezed into a tight hug.

“And look — all limbs intact! Wow, talk about a lucky break, huh? I thought for sure we’d be seeing a missing appendage or two.”

For good measure, they back up just enough to pick up your hand from the wrist. Tugging the eye glasses from their forehead, they squint and lean in to observe the remaining bandages.

You should say something.

What do you say?

“Uh — hi?”

Nailed it.

Belatedly, the preoccupied person flashes a look back to your face, considering in a haze.

Then the dots connect.

“Oh, right! Duh. Maybe no missing limbs but you’re missing memories. Allow me to re-introduce myself: Hange, Section Commander, at your service.” They smile wide. “Captain Levi told me where you were staying, so I thought maybe I’d make a visit.”

Wait.

Captain Levi knows where you’re staying?

(Why does it always have to circle back to him?)

“And when you weren’t there, I asked around — Petra knew!”

“Oh,” you reply lamely, embarrassed that you can’t match their elated energy. Hange doesn’t hide their excitement, so you cannot hide your hesitance.

Maybe the surprise touch has something to do with it, but this encounter already feels different. As if Hange is a long-awaited crisp breeze on the first day of Spring. You find yourself wanting to hug them again, to see if the spark lingers.

“Yeah. Commander Erwin gave me over to Petra for the week. I haven’t seen the Captain.”

“Oh, you haven’t? Color me a little shocked.” Hange drops their arms from you to wipe some strands of hair from their face. “Well? Any new discoveries since you first woke up?”

“A few,” you admit, bending to pick up the broom lying on the ground. “Commander Erwin got me to remember a little bit about where I came from and how, uh… being in the Scouts was kind of my whole life.”

“Part of the job description,” Hange bemuses before mimicking Erwin’s deep voice for the salute. “Dedicate Your Heart — every artery and then some.”

The endearing attempt at imitating the commander makes you snort despite yourself, and you sweep one final pile of dust into the pan.

“At least you feel familiar. The Commander and the Captain were like blank slates.”

It’s as though you’ve said the most magical thing to the Section Commander's ears. Their smile now bursts into a grin.

“Ch’yeah, I’d say you and I got into some wacky adventures in our day. Of course, only when you weren’t so busy in the corner with Levi.” The grin falters if only for a fraction. “Though I must say, I’m really surprised he wasn’t the first.”

Your brows knit. “The first what?”

“The first person that you would remember — at least, in feeling.”

“Everyone keeps implying that,” you tell them, crossing the room to settle the broom against the frame of a bookshelf. “Except the one time that I saw him, which was the first day, it sounded like he hated me.”

“Hated you?” Hange blurts. “Captain Levi hating you is about as true as me hating titans.”

You blink. “That… comparison escapes me, Section Commander.”

They lean in with a flippant shrug. “Hange, please. And I don’t hate titans at all. They’re incredible, fascinating, the thing I think about all the time.” Heat rises to your face. Hange doesn’t let up. “I think he’s just a bit grumpy since — well, I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell you.”

Eyes widening, you step closer to the other person.

“No — do. I wanna hear it. Seriously, living in the dark about this whole thing is probably a hindrance to remembering anything at all.”

“Hey, that’s what I said.” Hange laughs. “Still in sync, even when you’re not You!"

They pause for a moment, holding up their index finger.

"Actually let’s shelve the Levi debacle for a bit, because I thought maybe I could give you something and see what you think about it.”

“Give me something?” you repeat.

“Don’t get too excited. It’s not like a gift or anything.” They reconsider, slipping a hand into the breast pocket of their uniform jacket. “Well, for you, it might be.”

It’s a small and flat brown box, only a few centimeters tall and not very wide.

Hange holds it out for you, nodding down to it — take it — and you meet them in the middle.

Nothing sparks while holding the box, and it takes every ounce of your curiosity not to give the thing a preliminary shake to hear what’s inside.

Your fingers pry the top lid off—

And it hits.

Like a lightning strike to the heart, you drop the lid to the floor, hand limp.

Silver — unassuming, dainty, but very obviously a necklace. There is barely anything special about the fragile jewelry, but emotion swells and threatens to choke you up and out. From the bottom of the chain dangles a small gemstone, swirling in stormy gray color. It looks well-loved, worn, but still manages to glimmer in the soft sunlight peering in from the open windows.

The pad of your index finger brushes along the smooth surface.

A drop of water splashes on it.

(Are you crying?)

Glancing up to look at Hange confirms that you’re not only crying, but sobbing.

Streams of tears drag along your cheeks as you let out a broken breath, confused yet relieved. The bottom half of the box drops, too, joining its sister on the floor as you clutch the necklace to your chest.

You can’t explain any of this, but you know.

You know this is the one thing you subconsciously hoped to see, to feel, one day.

“You kept it.”

The blurted sentence is barely above a murmur.

Hange draws an inhale through their nose.

“When Captain Levi brought you in on horseback after your accident, I was the first to receive you,” they explain, softer this time. You watch them through a watery lens. “There was little to no time. Your uniform was torn to pieces. When the doctors were preparing you for the emergency surgery — you’d lost a lot of blood while traveling, and we weren’t sure how deep the cut wounds went — I took that necklace off of you in hopes that one day I could give it back.”

Your heart swells with an overwhelming gratitude you can’t quite place into words. Hange nears cautiously and places a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“That necklace went everywhere with you. In all our years of serving together, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you take it off.”

“It’s important to me,” you reason with certainty. Hange nods with empathy.

You don't even realize what you're saying, but it comes from the heart.

“...I’ve had it since I was a kid. This was the only thing I owned in the Underground. Before I joined the Scouts, I didn’t even own my own clothes. They were — they were stolen. Everything was stolen. I had nothing. Nothing except this.”

With trembling fingers, you try to unhook the clasp and fail. Twice. Hange tsk-tsk’s with their tongue and drop their hand to close around both of your hands.

“C’mon, you big softie. Let me?”

You sniff and nod, pushing hair away to give them an avenue to your neck. Hange easily situates the chain around your neck and secures the clasp. The cold chain presses to your body like a weighted blanket.

Your shoulders slack with its comfort the minute you can press the gem between your thumb and index finger.

“There. Feel better?”

“Loads,” you admit in a sigh, wiping your eyes with your free hand. “Sorry for the outburst, Hange, it just—”

“Hey, happy to help. Look! You remembered something.”

They’re right.

Something so small brought such a visceral emotion to the forefront.

Rolling the gemstone between your fingers, you forcefully smile in return. What you say next rolls right off your tongue. “You know... you’ve always asked me where this came from, and now I’ve accidentally divulged that story. Talk about a dirty trick, Hange.”

“Whoa, I—” They start but reconsider. Hange doesn’t give it away immediately, but the section commander’s surprise is palpable the longer your words linger in the air. “Damn, you remember that?”

You do.

Clear as day, in fact, with the way they’re looking at you right now. Sitting right in this very room — you were both at the table situated in the corner, though it's now crowded by four chairs you've scrubbed vigorously clean. When you blink towards them, you can see the silhouette of Hange's frustrated hands flying high into the air. You're leaning back in the chair, tipping it with the heel of your boot pressed against the table's edge with a laugh.

“Oh, c'mon! Stop being such a tease and tell me about it already. It’s just a necklace!”

“That doesn't sound right,” you tease, grinning ear to ear as you absently roll the gemstone between your fingers. “If it's just a necklace, then how come you wanna know about it so bad, huh?”

Hange groans in the pale torch light, sliding down into their seat in dramatized agony. “Be-cause I just watched a five-meter titan almost snap the damn thing in half."

“So?”

“So! I saw how fast you sliced that thing up! You went totally berserk, like you had a personal vendetta.”

You chuckle low, burying your chin in the mouth of the emerald green cape around your shoulders.

“Five-meter titans should learn not to touch my stuff, then.”

“Hey, shitheads.”

Except that last part is something you hear with your own two ears, now, in the present.

A deep voice unlike yours or Hange’s.

Your heart skips a beat. You turn your chin to acknowledge it.

Levi Ackerman stands in the door frame dressed with a similar green cloak you wore in your vision. He’s wearing the same Scout uniform as Hange, but with a pressed white shirt and a flare of his own cravat nestled at the neck. His black hair falls over his eyes, shoulder pressed into the door frame, but he doesn’t look at you.

His eyes land directly on an all-too giddy Hange.

“So much for telling me that you arrived,” he mumbles.

Hange gives him a one-shoulder shrug. “Oh, you know I couldn’t help but find her for myself. The Commander caught me up to speed in a letter.”

“I would argue that that sort of information should remain out of letters, don’t you?” Levi asks as he nudges a boot into the room to join the conversation.

“Too late for that!” Hange sing-songs, pulling you into their side. “We were just catching up.”

Levi’s brow raises by a centimeter on his forehead. “...catching up.”

“Yep! It seems like I’m top of the team leaderboard for most memories. Amazing what happens when you try to work with victims of memory loss.”

It feels like a direct jab to Levi’s effort — or lack thereof — but he doesn’t react to it.

Not yet, anyway.

Because a whole world of awkwardness comes to a head when his eyes flicker to your face, then down, and stop.

Hange says nothing, but you feel it — their hand curled around your arm grips tighter.

Your chin drops to see what he’s staring at:

The necklace between your fingers.

When you stare back up, you’re certain Captain Levi has changed an entire shade of pale.

“—anyways!”

Hange’s voice cuts through the heavy silence as they squeeze you one last time into their side before letting go.

“I gotta go check in with the Commander. You two have fun catching up, alright?”

They pass with a bounce in their step, but not before stopping at the captain to all-too-whimsically point out the obvious.

“Look, Levi, she’s cleaning!”

He doesn’t have a snarky comeback this time.

Hell, he doesn’t even say goodbye to Hange when they exit, leaving the two of you to a room full of uncomfortable air.

If you so much as breathe in longer than a second, then it threatens to suffocate you.

Three whole months of nothing, and now?

There’s no excuse.

“You missed a spot,” he finally tells you, gesturing to the back left corner.

“Huh?” you mumble, turning to observe. “I haven't gotten to that part yet.”

“Sure.”

That’s all he had to say?

This was the big reunion everyone waited for?

Subconsciously your other hand raises to your necklace in order to tuck the jewelry into your gray button-up.

“You never visited me a second time.”

“I did,” he corrects, and your eyes narrow.

“I never saw you.”

“You were asleep.”

Your stomach flutters with butterflies. “Wait, really?”

“Do you think I care enough to lie?” When you blink twice from how biting his tone is, he sighs to himself. “Yeah, I visited.”

Although you probably shouldn't believe him, you do. The sigh is as much of a surprise as his confession. Like he's resigned to chip a part of the wall he builds between you.

So you speak with honesty, too. “I’m sorry I missed you, then.”

His brow twitches.

“Why?”

“Because contrary to the nature of our first encounter, I’ve wanted to speak to you.”

At first he says nothing, opting to merely study your expression. You try to remain confident, chin up and expectant.

“Did you remember something?” he asks.

“Yeah." He doesn't react. "I have been remembering bits and pieces, but…”

You venture to a chair to your left at the newly-cleaned table, sitting with a short huff. It feels nice to get off of your feet.

“...that’s all they are. Bits and pieces to bigger outlines, bigger pictures, that I don’t have."

"Sorry to hear that," he tells you, evidently not sorry at all.

Your brows furrow as you lean forward, taking the time to really look at the shorter man this time. "Except something weird happens every time I talk to someone. Specifically Commander Erwin."

"Which is?"

"The commander is pretty hellbent on mentioning your name every time we have a conversation."

Levi’s stare hardens. “Right.”

"In fact, Hange just now mentioned you.” You pause. “Aren't you curious about what they say?"

"No."

The word leaves his mouth too fast. You realize instantly that it's a lie. You press on.

"They tell me that you know me."

He scoffs. "I already told you that, dumbass."

"No you didn't."

"I did," he argues. "In Trost."

"Your twenty-question crusade three months ago is not the same as just telling me how I know you," you snap right back. "This isn't some acquaintanceship. They act like I know you incredibly well. Better than I'm supposed to know Hange or Petra or Erwin. And they all refuse to talk for you."

“As the shitheads should.”

This conversation is running in circles and getting nowhere.

Whereas Levi sticks to his conviction, your shoulders deflate.

"Captain..." You begin to stand, voice softening. “Captain, I want to—”

“Excuse me,” he abruptly states, turning on his heel to walk to the hallway.

By the time you stand at full height to follow after him, he’s already shut the door behind him.

“Hange.”

Their name is acidic on the tip of his tongue on purpose.

This isn’t a game.

Hange knows, too, because they take their fine fucking time walking down the hallway. Like — if the way they turn on a heel with a pursed smile is any indicator — that they already knew the conversation in that room with you would be short.

Levi can feel his blood boiling well over its limit. His hands are itchy, like they need to be doing something, so he digs half-crescent moons into his palms instead.

Hard, so it hurts.

Pain is one hell of a drug.

“Levi!” they call, feigning ignorance. “How was your talk with—”

“You kept it.”

It, because Levi knows he doesn’t need to elaborate on what exactly they’ve done. Over and over the scene replays in his head: the turn of your chin, your torso, with the glitter of silver in the afternoon sun just between your fingers at the collar of your shirt.

“I don’t know what you mean,” they sing-song, and Levi’s nostrils flare.

“You know damn well what I mean.”

“Oh — what, are you referring to the Lieutenant’s necklace?”

The first card is on the table in full show, and Levi’s all-too certain Hange believes they have a winning hand.

The white cravat at his neck threatens to choke him out when he swallows, maintaining a mere shred of his nonchalance.

“Of course I kept it, silly," they add.

“Why?”

“Even I knew how important it was to her.”

The sentence turns his tongue to lead.

Important.

“When did you take it?” he chooses to ask, pushing through the strain on his vocal chords.

“Before the doctors prepped for surgery, duh. Why? What’s so important about that stupid thing to you anyway?” Then they grin, and Levi knows he’s in deep shit. “Care to finally elab-or-ate?”

Each syllable is annunciated with such sickening clairvoyance that he instinctually turns the other way, opposite of the mess space.

Away.

Away, away, away—

“Oh, come on, Levi!”

“Not now, Four Eyes.”

“But we just started getting to the bottom of this mystery!”

Too late. Hange’s lanky ass legs get the better of him. They outpace his stalking and eliminate the distance he’d been trying to clear.

For someone notorious for ending fights, he sure didn’t know why he started this one. Levi doesn’t want to be a part of this experiment, this thing, where they treat you like a fragile baby bird waiting for the moment you’re strong enough to fly on your own.

It’s insulting.

You were — are — more than that.

“There is no mystery,” Levi sours.

“Oh, please,” Hange groans. “I may not have perfect vision, but I’m not blind. You looked like you witnessed a titan trying to learn how to tap dance.”

“Fuck off.”

“Y’know, you’re going to have to tell her eventually before someone else does.”

So they did have a winning hand.

Levi abruptly stops walking to finally face the taller person. Hange’s tone remains in a sing-song, but their smile all but disappears.

“Excuse me?”

“We all knew her, Levi. We know her,” Hange corrects. “Perhaps not as well as you, but things are going to start slipping out.”

“Not if you keep your damn mouth shut.”

“Why?” they challenge, crossing their arms over their chest. “I’d actually quite like my friend to fully remember me someday.”

“They won’t be honest memories, then,” Levi argues. “Just whatever shit you put in her head so you feel better about it.”

“What a pessimistic way of looking at it.”

“It’s our reality.”

Hange sighs in that way that Levi hates: saddened, like they know something he doesn’t.

He’s heard it countless times before the scientist made a devastating, truth-shattering discovery.

“Then I suppose you don’t want to hear that it helped.”

Levi turns into stone.

Hange pretends to be interested in the cuticles of their nails, tone light and airy. “Oh, didn't you ask? Or are you still pretending she’s a tree with legs in HQ’s yard?”

“You’re lying.”

“Now that’s just hurtful.” The smile returns. “Look, Levi: the minute she took a look at that necklace in the box, it was like she came back to us. Even if just for a moment, I swear, it was her. I’m no cranial injury genius, but I like to think that the more she interacts with things that are important to her, the more memories it may trigger.”

The sharp pain in his palm returns.

Had he been holding that fist this entire time?

Things that are important to her.

Even without its origins spelled out, the necklace meant something to you. You wore it under your uniform just as you always had before the accident. Close to the chest, its meaning hidden from most of the world.

Maybe Pyxis has the right idea to drink on the job, because Levi’s one more bad day from breaking open a cork just to taste something a little more bitter than what fate’s allowed.

(What memories came back to you?)

He could ask.

He could play stupid just to see if Hange’s telling the truth.

He’d rather get swallowed whole, but it’s better than turning around and asking you.

“What did she remember?”

Hange, thrilled that he’s taken the bait, leans in to keep the conversation private.

“She told me that the silver necklace came with her from the Underground.” Oh. “She’s had it since she was a kid.” Oh, shit. “Said it was the only thing she’s ever owned.” Shitting shit. “Sounds like the exact same story she told me when Erwin made her a Scout — the whole fend-for-yourself mentality, the crappy childhood, blah-blah-blah. We don’t need to dive back into all of that.”

No, he doesn’t.

What he needs is to take a breath, but his lungs stopped working twenty words ago.

Hange is waiting for the gotcha right on the tip of their tongue, a years’ long question in the making, but he refuses.

Can’t — because those are your secrets to tell, not his.

“Is that it?” He asks, feigning neutrality.

“You sort of interrupted the epiphany,” Hange grins, “but yeah. That’s all. Nothing’s stopping you from turning around and hearing it for yourself, you know. I’m sure it’ll make you feel a hell of a lot less crummy if you do.”

Yeah, it probably would.

Because your memory’s coming back, with or without him.

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has sent me anons about this story! I'm having so much fun writing it. I appreciate your likes and notes xo.

#levi ackerman #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #snk #snk fanfiction #attack on titan fanfic #attack on titan fanfiction #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #wip fic #amywritesthings #fic: silver underground.#silver underground

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 6 months

Text

Eagle under the lions paw pt 3

You and Dimitri did end up spending more time outside of training, having meals at the dinner hall, and doing errands together. It was nice to finally know the one you were so desperate to meet all those years ago.

"So what's up with you and Dimitri? I knew you guys sparred together but you two have been noticeably closer as of late" Dorathea brought up before sipping her tea.

"We've just hit it off" you replied. You noticed her eyebrow raised.

"Just as friends of course" you blurted out.

"(Y/n) You know you can trust me to keep a secret" she assured you.

"I swear we're just friends" you replied.

"Ok, it's just I've noticed the way he's been looking at you since you arrived at the academy," she said.

"What do you mean by that?" You asked.

"You haven't noticed? He looks at you the same way a lost little puppy would. He looks at you with absolute adoration, honestly, I'm a little jealous" she sighed.

Was Dorathea right? Did Dimitri like you romantically? You didn't know how to feel about it. Yes, he was strong, handsome and kind. All qualities that a spouse should have but you didn't really see him as a romantic partner.

"I don't really see him in a romantic way" you replied.

"Then you should probably tell him, it's better to let him know soon than lead him on" she advised.

"But what if he doesn't have a romantic interest? Then it'd be embarrassing" you asked.

"Trust me, even if it's all platonic it's better to draw that line before things get messy" she explained.

That conversation has been playing on loop in your mind since then. You felt a wood tap on your hip that shook you out of your trance.

"Are you alright?" Dimitri asked you.

"Yes, sorry I was just thinking about class this morning" you lied.

"Finding it overwhelming? If you want we can cut the training short today" he offered.

"No, I can continue. After all the battle of the eagle and the lion is only a few weeks away, there's no way I can slack off now" you replied.

"You're not confident in your abilities?" He asked.

"I'm confident but I have no idea about everyone else's skills, and if I am unfortunate enough to get pitted against you then there's no way I'd win" you replied.

"You shouldn't be hard on yourself, all you can do is try your best, it is a mock battle after all," he told you. You could see why Dorathea said what she did about how he looks at you. A soft and kind expression was always plastered on his face when you were around him but it wasn't enough to be evident that he did have feelings for you.

🦅🦅🦅

"Edelgard and I have discussed the plan for the upcoming battle of the eagle and the lion" Manuela addressed the class as she crudely drew a map of gronder field.

"This battle will be against both the blue lions and the golden deer so we must effectively fight both teams.

"So we must separate to take on both teams," she said before drawing three arrows from the left side, one to the top, one to the right, and one to the center.

"Caspar and Ferdinand will advance north to the lions, Linhardt and Hubert will follow behind to provide support" she addressed the three.

"Edelgard and Petra will advance to the east and take on the deers with Dorathea providing support"

"This central fort is an advantage for archers so try to stop the other teams from capturing it and allow Bernadetta to claim it" she was explaining before a shriek was heard.

"No I don't want to be in the center, I wouldn't last a minute there!" Bernadetta retorted.

"That is why (Y/n) will cover for you" Manuela reassured.

"Don't worry, it should be a piece of cake Bernie. With everyone else, it makes it easier to pick off anyone who gets too close" you tried to reassure Bernadetta who was obviously stressed.

"If things get too tough I'll cover you," you said.

🦅🦅🦅

You signaled Bernadetta to take the position at the fort while there was a clearing.

"I hope this ends soon…" she muttered as she got into her position after hopping off her horse.

"So do I" you replied as you looked out. The golden deer had suffered a significant loss. Not that the Eagles were doing much better. You could see that both Casper and Ferdinand were walking off the field, while Hubert and Linhardt retreated to the east to form up with Edelgard and Petra.

"Bernie, you might want to start firing now" you advised, earning a shriek from her.

"Where?!" She struggled to make out.

"North, Sylvain, and Dedue are coming. You take out Sylvain and I'll stop Dedue" you suggested.

"Ok…" she replied before you moved forward to stop them getting through.

"Dedue you fall back to cover Ashe, I'll try capturing the fort" Sylvain told Dedue.

This wasn't good, Sylvain was now in a blind spot for Bernie and Dedue was leaving range.

"Hey you're the girl I've seen Dimitri hanging around recently" he commented.

"So what of it?" You asked him as you approached him.

"Nothing just realized it was you," he said as he tried to strike you and you dodged.

"You're pretty cute, maybe after this is over we could get something to eat?" he proposed. You could feel the heat in your cheeks rise. You swung your lance towards him with enough force to knock it out of his hands.

"Whoa, you're feisty!" He exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hurt you did I" you asked, shocked that you'd managed to knock it straight out of his grip.

"I'm fine, just didn't have a good grip… I guess I'll have to forfeit" he told you as he picked up his lance.

"My offer's still open by the way," he told you before he walked off the field.

You had very little time to relax before you saw Dimitri's approach.

"Bernie fall back!" You shouted earning another shriek from her. The Blue Loins were overwhelming in comparison to your house. You readied yourself knowing you'd certainly fail but still like Dimitri told you, you'd have to give it your best shot. You charged toward him and tried to strike him overhead, however, he blocked and pushed you back. He then tried to counter but you barely avoided him as you tried to center yourself.

You tried desperately to best him but he always manages to block your attacks. You can barely keep a good grip on your lance with the force that he strikes back with. Then you hear a crack and feel his lance hit your ribs. The air in your lungs was knocked out of you as you hit the ground, unable to comprehend what happened til you tried to get up, realizing that your lance was snapped in half and feeling a horrible pain in your side causing you to yelp in pain.

"(Y/n) I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed as he kneeled to you. He looked at you with horror.

"Are you alright? Do you need help getting up? I swear I didn't mean to hurt you" he asked, panic evident in his voice. He hadn't realized how hard he was hitting with the adrenalin pumping in his blood.

"I know you didn't mean it…" you replied between labored breaths as you tried to stand.

Dimitri took notice of your pain and helped you up. "Do you want me to help you get back to camp?" He offered. But you shook your head and declined.

"I should be fine. Besides, you have to support your team" you told him. In honesty, you did need help but you didn't want to burden him, as helping you would also count him as retreating. You walked forward a bit before flagging Bernadetta to come over and support you.

"Oh goddess, he nearly killed you…" she stuttered as she let you lean on her for support.

"No, he didn't, I'm sure it'll just be a bruise" you tried to calm her as she took you to the infirmary tent.

Manuela inspected your injury for a while before giving you some medicine.

"You've got a bruised ribcage, I can't really do much except give you some pain relief and suggest you take it easy for the next month," she told you before handing you a glass of water.

"I can't believe how quickly the blue lions managed to advance. They barely gave you guys breathing space, that new professor really is something" she sighed.

You swallowed the bitter medicine she had offered and drank your water before noticing Edelgard in the corner of your eye.

"Did you get injured too?" You asked.

"No, I wanted to check up on you. I heard from Bernadetta that you were hurt" she replied with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Manuela told me I've got a bruised ribcage, I've just got to take it easy for a month" you replied trying to play it off as something minor.

"How did you manage to bruise your rib?" She asked as she grabbed a nearby ice pack and gently pressed it against your ribs.

"My lance ended up snapping in half while fighting Dimitri and his lance ended up hitting my ribs" you explained.

"(Y/n) You need to be more careful… I don't want anything happening to you" she said to you in an almost sorrowful tone, yet you still could feel her reservation.

"Edel, I'll be fine for now. But I promise you I'll be more careful, as long as you promise me the same.

A small smile formed on her lips yet her eyes showed that she was upset.

"I promise," she said as she held out her pinkie finger.

"I'll hold you to it" you replied before wrapping your finger around hers.

"And so will I," she told you.

"You should rest now, I don't want you getting hurt again," she told you before leaving.

So you lay staring at the top of the tent for what seemed like forever. A few more students entered suffering from far less than you had. From what you could hear amongst them the blue lions had a firm lead, now only Claude, Hilda, Petra, and Linhardt remained compared to the nearly unscathed blue lions.

Then you heard the sound of a horn. It was over. You wished you had just given up your position and avoided Dimitri, maybe that would have given your team more of a chance. Everyone was beginning to pack up. You sat up and surprisingly your ribs didn't hurt as much, now more of a dull pain thanks to the medicine.

"(Y/n) are you alright?" Dimitri asked as he entered the tent.

"I am, I just have to take it easy for a bit," you told him.

"I'm sorry" he kneeled beside you.

"It's fine, I know you didn't mean it. Obviously, my lance wasn't that well crafted" you told him.

"I still feel awful for it, tomorrow I'll get you a replacement," he said.

"No, you don't have to" you retorted.

"No it's the least I could do to apologize," he told you.

You stood up, trying to not express the pain you still felt.

"We should probably get going now, it'll be a long walk back to the monastery," you said as you gathered up the armor you had removed when you'd arrived.

🦅🦅🦅

"Thank the goddess that was a mock battle" was something you'd hear for the rest of the day. Even during dinner, you hear more of it.

"The blue lions were leagues ahead of us, they barely gave us a chance" Caspar sighed. You could tell he wasn't too satisfied with his performance.

"(Y/n) you haven't had a bite of your food yet, are you alright?" Dorathea asked you. You hadn't even realized you had just been staring at your food blankly.

"No I'm alright, I've just been thinking about today" you replied.

"Yeah… today's results have left a bitter taste in my mouth" she replied.

You ate in silence. What the others kept saying was on your mind, what if it hadn't been a mock, what if it had been an actual war? It was terrifying to imagine. All these people sitting with you would have been dead. That blow Dimitri had dealt to you could have killed you if it hadn't been a training weapon but he wouldn't do that, he cared about you deeply.

Honestly thinking about it made a knot form in your stomach. You stood up and picked up your half-eaten plate of food.

"(Y/n) are you sure you're alright?" Dorathea asked you again.

"I'm fine," you told her before leaving the table and returning your plate to the front.

You walked out of the dining hall and were on your way back to your dorm when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"(Y/n) Is something wrong?" Dimitri's voice asked.

"Dimitri, why aren't you inside? You and your class should be celebrating" you asked him.

"I saw you leave your table after barely eating, I was worried about you" he explained.

"I'm fine, just tired," you told him. You tried to leave but he reached out and grabbed your wrist, his grip was firm, like his life depended on it.

"Tell me (Y/n), I know there's something on your mind," he said. You remained silent.

"Do you not trust me?" He asked.

"I do" you replied.

"Then tell me, I promise you it'll only be between us if you wish," he told you. You sighed before finally responding.

"I've been thinking about today… What if it hadn't been a mock battle, I know it sound stupid but the thought terrifies me" you explained.

"I think almost all of us have thought about it today, but just think what reason would we have to start a war?" He replied.

You thought long and hard on what he said. There really wasn't a reason as far as you could tell.

"The isn't" you replied.

"See, so there's no reason to worry" he told you.

#yandere x reader #yandere #yandere fe3h #yandere fire emblem #yandere fire emblem three houses #Yandere Dimitri

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youre-ackermine · 2 months

Text

Sunburst: a sudden brief appearance of the full sun from behind clouds

Characters: Levi Ackerman / Hange Zoe / Petra Ral / Erwin Smith / Miche Zacharias / Nanaba / Zeke Jaeger / Nifa (mention) / Moblit Berner (mention) / Yelena (mention)

Pairing: Levihan (friendship) / Rivetra / Zekehan / Erumike (implied)

Wordcount: 2265 approx.

Modern AU / SFW / Levihan slow burn / High school friends / Established relationships / Non-binary AFAB Hange Zoe / Swearwords / POV Levi Ackerman

His mood probably couldn’t get gloomier now that he had finished all the tasks -most likely meant to distract him from his dejection now he thought about it- that Miche had assigned to him since morning.

He was sitting on the steps leading to the porch, a glass of iced-tea from the bowl he had freshly prepared in hand. On the surface his face showed all the usual signs of annoyance and boredom that seemed to be his signature expression but, if you could get a closer look, melancholy tinged his features quite unexpectedly as he scrolled on his phone.

Levi frowned, squinting his eyes in the sun and gluing them to the screen. His heart sank when he saw Petra’s latest post on Instagram, a picture of Nifa and herself, all smiles as they drank some fruity cocktail from a ridiculously huge coconut through colorful straws. A nasty surge of jealousy stung him when he noticed the lustful glances a bunch of guys sitting with them around a restaurant table cast her way.

“The fuck that means,” he mumbled under his breath.

They were supposed to drink stupid cocktails from stupid coconuts together and they were supposed to bask in the sun on this stupid white sand beach together and they were supposed to soak in this stupid warm lagoon water together. But she had gone on vacation with Nifa instead, arguing she needed time. And space. To find herself, to recharge. To think about them.

Yeah, they were on a break. Yeah, she had decided this one-sidedly. Yeah, she had urged him to pack some of his stuff and stay at his best friend’s for a while. Yeah, he didn’t understand the fuck why she wanted this but he had obliged. Yeah, he would oblige again and again. And fucking yeah, he would do anything she asked if it meant he could win her back.

But dammit! Seeing her having a good time away from him, seeing her smiling as he was still stuck in anger and sadness after four weeks apart, imagining other men ogling her perfect curves, flirting with her, or even laying their dirty hands on her was tearing his heart apart.

A firm yet friendly pat on his shoulder snapped Levi off his stupor. He glanced sideways at Erwin as he sat down next to him.

“No point in hurting yourself over something you can’t control, Levi,” his best friend said, a hint of concern in his soft tone. A faint but incredibly fond smile appeared on Erwin’s face. “Get rid of your phone for now and go freshen up. You wouldn’t want Miche to scold you in front of the guests, would you?”

“As if I gave two shits about what that blond titan thinks!” Levi replied, rolling his eyes. He got up and pocketed his phone nonetheless, heading to his bedroom to change clothes.

He was pouring a refreshing drink for Nanaba, casually catching up with her, when a boisterous exclamation caught their attention. Everybody raised their heads and glasses, cheering the guest of honor as they waved frantically from the driveway where they were stepping out of their car.

“Oh my God! I can’t believe you all came! I’m so happy!” Hange shrieked, eyes sparkling with excitement and a huge smile on their face.

They laughed heartily as their step-brother picked them up in his arms and spun them around as if they weighed nothing.

“Happy birthday, Nerdling,” Miche whispered in their ear, his mustache tickling their skin when he pecked their cheek.

He loosened his embrace and let Hange go. Their gaze wandered around the garden to greet their guests, their radiant smile growing wider and reaching their eyes as they finally fell on their best friend.

“Happy birthday Hans!” she said, her arms wrapping around them. They held each other tight for a while until Hange peeked past Nanaba’s shoulder and recognised the short man standing next to the iced-tea bowl, his pouring gesture frozen in the air.

Hange’s eyes widened. “Holy Walls! Grumpy Pants, is that you?!”

“Tch… No shit, Four-Eyes,” he deadpanned, still gripping Nanaba’s glass by the rim.

“Still so handsome behind the scowl, right Shorty?” They chuckled and winked at him before turning to another guest.

For some reason his stomach churned.

A rhetorical question. Obviously.

The festive afternoon was drawing to a close. The birthday cake was nothing more than a few forgotten crumbs on a plate by now, the opened gifts had been thrown haphazardly on Hange’s car backseat, and the last guests had said their goodbyes a while ago.

Trash bags in hand, Miche, Erwin and Nanaba busied themselves around the garden and the terrace to throw paper plates and plastic cups away.

Levi had found the party more pleasant than expected. And definitely more pleasant than he would ever admit.

After flitting from one friend to the next, Hange had finally pulled out a chair to sit across from him in his favourite corner of the garden, near a bush of fragrant roses that always reminded him of his mother’s perfume.

They hadn’t met since the graduation ceremony a few years ago. They had caught up on what they had both been doing since then, inadvertently -and frankly, as an afterthought, much to his relief- dodging the matters of the heart.

He knew from Miche that they had been studying abroad in a prestigious university in Hizuru and had recently come back to work in a renowned research company in Trost, dragging their all-time lab partner Moblit -the fuck was this name by the way?- along with them. They had asked him a lot of questions about his work as an architect and his accomplishments in his hobbies. MMA techniques seemed to fascinate them by the way.

Levi's mind had been at ease listening to Hange’s enthusiastic babbling for hours, taking in their lively face and their bright, beautiful brown eyes behind their stained glasses. He had forgotten his worries for a while, lulled into a blissful daze by their voice, his heart almost soothed by their cheerful presence.

As the sun slowly set behind a hill, the gate creaked open to reveal a tall blond man with a well-trimmed beard and a pair of golden round glasses. Levi looked up at the newcomer who gestured to him to remain silent while he smoothly joined them, careful not to crunch the gravel under his feet.

Sensing something was off when their eyes fell on Levi’s face, Hange stopped their rant about whatever toxic plant they were blabbering about.

“Shorty? Something’s wrong? You’re as white as Moblit’s asscheeks all of a sudden!” they asked in a worried tone.

Moblit's assch-, what? Taken aback, Levi didn’t have time enough to retort.

Hange squealed when the man slid his hands over their waist from behind, but tilted their head back to look at him and flashed a beaming smile. He kissed their lips, lingering a bit too much to Levi’s liking, forcing him to avert his gaze in a burst of decency.

“By the Walls Zeke, I missed you so much!” Hange asked between kisses. “I’ve been waiting for you all day! Where have you been?”

Levi felt more and more like a creep, staring at the couple.

“Yelena missed her train to her parents' town so I gave her a drive there. Thought you wouldn’t mind, Honey!”

“Oh, Yelena… Of course I don’t mind!” Their voice faltered uncharacteristically.

Levi’s chest tightened as he noticed the way Hange’s face fell with their half-assed reply. How could someone be oblivious or careless enough to let down someone as kind as Hange on their own birthday? How could someone be cruel enough and bear to swipe Hange’s bright smile off their face?

That monkey could, of course.

Hange’s smile quickly came back to enlighten their face though. They got up, fidgeting with the paper napkin they still held in their hands. They tittered and gestured between both men.

“Oh, I'm sorry! Let me introduce you, guys!” they blurted out. “Zeke Darling, this is Levi Ackerman, Erwin’s best friend. Shorty, this is my fiancé Zeke Jaeger.”

Levi got up, gritting his teeth as he extended his hand and shook Zeke’s in a tight grip.

“What are the odds! You’re both renowned architects now I think about it!” Hange exclaimed cheerfully.

“Oh but your friend and I have already met before Honey!” The blond man smirked. “I won the Trost Finance Center building project over him!”

Zeke let go of Levi’s hand.

“Nice to see you again Ackerman,” he added with a feigned joviality.

He snaked his arm around Hange’s waist to pull them closer.

“Let’s go Honey! It’s getting late and I’d like to make it up to you tonight,” he said in a disgusting husky voice, shamelessly kissing his fiancée’s skin under their ear until they blushed and gasped like a shy teenager. Levi clenched his fists.

Hange stuttered as they bid him goodbye, promising to meet again soon over a cup of coffee, and waved to their hosts and best friend before heading to their car. They giggled when Zeke slid his hand down the small of their back and over their ass, whispering something in their ear as they walked down the driveway.

Levi’s eyes followed the rear lights until the car turned left at the end of the street, leaving a hollow feeling in his guts.

A friendly arm wrapped around his shoulder and Nanaba dragged him towards the house.

“C’mon Munchkin, let’s grab a beer and order a pizza!”

She pecked him on the cheek.

“So fucking gross Nana, I can’t stand wet kisses,” he grumbled.

“Of course you can’t sweetie.”

But he couldn’t help but smile when she pulled him closer to kiss him again and burst out laughing when he swiftly wiped his cheek.

Levi relished in the cool sensation of the breeze over his skin and the comforting warmth of his tea. The chirping of crickets nearby was lulling him into a peaceful slumber. He felt his stiff shoulders, his clenched jaw, his tense nape finally relax.

“So, Hange…” Erwin started once Nanaba had left and Miche had gone to bed.

“The fuck are you talking ‘bout Four-Eyes?” he replied, all the tension washing back over him.

Erwin raised his hands in a gesture of appeasement. “You seemed to get along well today, is all.”

Here we go, you blond bastard.

Erwin’s speech was only getting started and pain already throbbed in his head. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Yeah, ‘twas nice to catch up after all those years. They’re not so bad to talk to.” He paused. “Distracted me from this shitty life of mine for a bit.”

“I could tell.” Erwin took a sip of coffee and placed the cup back on the saucer. “You didn’t seem to enjoy Zeke’s company though.”

“That monkey? Hell no! You know how dirty he played with the Finance Tower project and fucked me over! How could I ever want to see this shithead again, you dumbass?”

Erwin knew better than to reply yet.

“How this brainiac is engaged to such a jerk is beyond me! Like, it’s their birthday and he shows up when the party's over, with all his lovey-dovey shit to cover up how he spent the afternoon with someone else instead… Disrespectful at the very least ‘f you ask me!”

Erwin smirked at his friend’s rant.

“What’s with the smirk, moron?”

“Nothing really.” Erwin’s gaze softened. “I don’t remember hearing you say so many words in one go. Ever. I wonder what got into you.” He chuckled.

Levi clicked his tongue. “Nothing special. We were having a nice little talk with Four-Eyes and I started to forget the crap piling up in my life at the moment and that fucking monkey ruined it all.”

Silence settled for a few minutes between both men.

“Seemed to do you good talking with someone else. You’re gonna hang with them again? I mean Hange.” Erwin asked after a while.

“Er yeah I guess… They mentioned a cup of coffee or shit some day soon.”

“Good! We’re your friends and we’re all worried about you, Levi. But, as you won't talk to us then talk with Hange. Anything that makes you feel better.”

Levi facepalmed to soothe the increasing pounding in his head and sighed.

“Could you mind your own fucking business for once, Blondie?” he hissed, rubbing his temples in a circle. “You’re giving me a headache.”

Erwin stood up, put a hand on Levi’s shoulder and squeezed it.

“Well, I’ll leave you alone then.”

He scooped his coffee cup off the table and took a few steps towards the door before turning around.

“Try to sleep tonight. You need to get some rest.”

Levi remained silent.

Erwin’s steps echoed in the evening darkness and he stopped briefly when gripping the handle.

“Good night Levi. See you tomorrow.”

As the door softly clicked shut, Levi let out a sharp breath he was holding for some time.

Yeah. Another day full of crap. The sparkle Hange had briefly brought in his otherwise dull life today was at least something he supposed.

“Shit! Life sucks, huh Four-Eyes?” he muttered to himself. His day couldn’t get any shittier than it already was, right?

Something vibrated in his back pocket. He fished his phone and answered without even thinking.

“Levi?” Petra’s voice. His body stiffened.

“Uhm yeah…” He ran his fingers through his hair to try and shut down his nervousness.

“We need to talk.”

Requested by anon // Prompt #30 "Where have you been?" from this drabble challenge

Proofreading @dont-f-with-moogles Thank you so much for your help Terra Darling 🩶

Header & dividers @youre-ackermine

A/N: Crossposted on AO3 as chapter 2 of my series It's not like I've got something grand to say to you // This takes place one year before Dumbstruck // English is not my usual language

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dipolardruid · 1 year

Note

How would the yanderes react to Darling just straight up falling down those steel spiral staircases?

Anell

She already has you by the upper arm the moment one of your feet accidentally skips over one of the stairs "careful, luckily I was here to catch you, I don't think i'd enjoy seeing you injured at the bottom of the stairs." She let's you go once you have your balance.

The next time you enter though you see her stairs now covered with foam along with a matt at the bottom of the stairs.

Tina

A shriek is heard across the store as you tumble down with a hard thwack onto the tiled floor before hearing footsteps rushing down, groaning you attempt to lay on your back "Oh no! Don't move!" Is all you hear as you feel her hands gently roll you over.

"you can hurt yourself more doing it on your own." She has your head between her thighs holding your head in place despite your protest of being fine.

"It's adrenaline, don't worry I already called for one my private ambulances." Suffice to say she hovered over you with a worried expression throughout the whole day cringing at the marks that are already forming bruises.

Paul

It was his fault he wanted to exercise by running up and down the stairs in the gym, you being distracted didn't see him coming full speed towards you which ended up with you rolling down landing straight onto your back.

"Hey get up you're strong it was just some stairs." Paul proceeds to lift you up quickly looking around "are you alright though? Lets keep this between us...ok, I really don't want to have to hear Tina's scolding."

Tina still found out and was less than pleased to hear about him trying to hide it, the next time you go into school the stairs are gone and paul is receiving the silent treatment from Tina.

Petra

She would already be lifting you up in the air the very moment she saw your body sink lower than it needed to "Am I now going to have to worry about stairs now?" You hear a soft sigh "doesn't matter just hold onto me and be careful."

Now everytime before even thinking about going down the stairs petra has to be there so you can latch onto her or else you'd receive the side eye if she found out "looks like your bones are still intact, good to know you learned how to go down the stairs correctly." She says before swiftly walking away sitting next to Jake who gives you a small chuckle and looking away.

Jake

He watches as you tumble down face first onto the ground his eyebrows raised and eyes widened slightly "Ouch."

He quickly but carefully goes down with a smirk as you begin to pick yourself up "Here grab my hand." You do as he says as he slowly helps you stand up "yeah...that's gonna leave a nasty bruise, on the bright side though you have an extra head." He gives a smile

You give him a glare in which he slightly backs up putting his hands up in surrender "ok not in the mood for jokes I understand but let's go get you fixed up." He says wrapping his arm around your shoulder as he gently rubs your chest right under your collar bone as a way to comfort you.

Betra

In an attempt to catch you one of her heels breaks from under her making her lose her balance and instinctively hold onto the rail to prevent herself from falling.

Unfortunately for you though by the time you land on the bottom you were knocked out, the next time you wake up you're in a hospital bed with Betra beside you shaking watching from your right "oh thank goodness you're awake." She says shakily.

"Traitor." She looks at you surprised "Wh-" before she could finish her sentence you close your eyes trying to sleep again in which she prevents you from doing.

Request are open!

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dreamingon-forever · 8 months

Text

Happy Birthday, Four-Eyes

OMG I'M SO LATE BUT I'M STILL ON TIME FOR HANGE'S BIRTHDAY, SO HERE IT IS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAR HANGE, THE MOTHER FIGURE AND HEART OF THE SCOUTS!

At first I had another idea for the ending, but seeing Brave Order's Twitter post, it completely shifted the story. So hopefully you all enjoy it!

PS. Black Tea is Fine will be out by the weekend. I'm sorry for the delay, but I got irl things that distracted me and delayed my writing.

AO3 Link: 💜

"-substract from recreation budget?" Nanaba suggested in a hushed voice.

"No. We're already at a low with them and I don't think we can go lower unless we want troop morals to waver. It's not up for debate." Erwin's authoritive voice answered.

Muttering and disgruntted murmurs filled the usually empty room.

"I know! We can deduct from the cleaning budget! We'll make due with what we have for a while longer. We can stretch out the soaps a bit if we add water or-"

"No one is fucking touching my cleaning supplies." Levi interrupted as he made himself known to the room. A dozen frightened eyes turning to him from his unexpected appearance.

"Ouluo! You're bleeding!" Petra shrieked as she turned to her companion, who'd bitten his tongue out of fright after having his captain catch him suggesting the budget cuts on cleaning supplies.

Instead of answering or addressing the preposterous suggestion, he turned his attention to Erwin, who was sitting at the head of the table, a bemused smile on his lips.

"What's everyone up to at this hour? Don't you all have fucking things better to do than gossip or putting my cleaning supplies on the chopping board?" He grumbled, taking a seat on an empty chair next to Mike.

Having made sure that no one had followed after the newcomer, Nanaba closed the door behind her before settling back down in her seat. "We were discussing what to do for Hange's birthday. Our budget has been slashed more than usual so we don't have much to go on. So we're wondering where we can cut some spending for a small party."

"Tch. That's stupid. Why we putting money on a measly birthday above something that can actually help the corps?" Levi grumbled, to which everyone else in the room threw wary glances across each other in silence. It was not unexpected that Levi would come to this conclusion, which was why he wasn't originally invited to the conversation in the first place. It'd been two years since he'd joined the corps, and a year since Erwin had been elected as the new commander. Despite having been forced to work closely alongside the bespectacled brunette, he had made his distaste towards his fellow comrade quite obvious since the start. Despite Hange's many attempts at becoming close to him or getting to know him, he always brushed her off and complained about her annoying presence.

"Well... Hange's been putting more effort than most into trying to find a way to defeat the titans. Whether it's on field or off doing research, she's been tirelessly trying to find an answer for us. We just thought it'd be nice to show her some appreciation for what she's done so far." Erwin said carefully.

Rolling his eyes, Levi scoffed. "All that effort to simply throw our men to their graves. All her bullshit about titans have caused our men to die for nothing. We haven't gotten anything out of her shitty obsession other than making headquarters stink of decay and unidentified corps."

A heavy silence fell over the room at his words. While it wasn't entirely wrong that Hange's overly enthusiastic views towards titans had caused some deaths along the way, it wasn't as if Hange wanted that outcome either.

"You're wrong, sir. Section leader Hange Zoe is very much self aware of the dangers and consequences of her actions. She plans out everything thoroughly and is by far the most caring person I've met. The time she puts into her revisions and plans is beyond anything we've done outside the walls, and if there's a reason we might win against the titans, it's because of section commander Hange Zoe." A young man said, standing out of his seat. His face red in embarrassment over the attention, but his eyes piercingly dark as he spoke of his team leader.

"Moblit... please calm down..." A young girl with red hair pleaded from his right, gently pulling at his sleeve to come back down next to her. But he refused, continuing to stare down at Levi.

"And you might be the new second in command in the Hange team?" Levi guessed. "You know her last one lost his life after she went chasing after a titan instead of following protocol like she should've, right? If you're willing to blindly follow that shit-head then maybe you deserve his same fate."

"Levi, that's enough." Erwin's voice boomed, his face one of displeasure. "We're here to celebrate Hange, and whether you personally like her or not, it doesn't stop the fact that everyone else in this room feels like they want to do something nice for her. A birthday is meant to be to celebrate and thank an individual for making it another year- for being with us for another year. And we all here are thankful that Hange is still with us, helping humanity out for the most part. So if you don't want to be part of it, or have nothing nice to say about it, then I have to ask you to please leave the room immediately."

With a tch, the man got up and left the room.

The aftermath and loss of that day's expedition was probably the worst one Levi's experienced. Only a third of the troops that set out made it back, with most of the survivors being badly injured and/or missing limbs that probably meant they'd no longer be able to serve the corps. No one talked, no one looked at each other, and no one dared to look behind them. To where they'd left their fallen friends and soldiers, their lifeless bodies unable to be retrieved. Even the commander fell silent as he led them through the silent crowd.

That evening the castle was silent. And even the dining hall usually full of life and laughter was void of activity. And Levi, out of habit, decided he was better off cleaning the halls to distract himself from thoughts on the heavy loss they went through.

He was just on the landing of the west side of the third floor when a horrendous stench composed of something like a mixture of decay and dried blood seeped through the walls. Pulling the cloth tighter around his nose, he followed the smell until he was standing in front of a door. A particular door he tried his best in avoiding on purpose.

Of fucking course.

"Oi, Shitty-glasses." He barged into the room, not giving the resident even a heads up about his intrusion. "Why the fuck is your room stinking up the fucking place?"

But instead of the hyper and loud version of the fourth section leader he expected to come into, he was met with complete silence. Her messy ponytail facing him unmoving as she continued staring at something in front of her. Her silence and lack of enthusiasm so unnatural it starting causing Levi to worry about whether she was alive or not.

"Am I a bad person, Levi?" She finally asked. Her tone hushed and void of streght.

"Huh? What bullshit did you fall upon this time?" Levi grumbled, throwing a disgruntled look at the mess of papers on the floor beneath him. It started to seem like his plans on just cleaning the interior halls would no longer be the case.

Just as he started picking up some of the discarded paper, Hange spoke up again. "Did I lead everyone to their deaths? Erwin entrusted me with planning out today's expedition and... Maybe you're right... maybe my experiments are useless... Maybe that's why Erwin always disapproves of them despite being nice to me about it. But I kept pushing and pushing to capture a titan and do some experiments on them... I deviated from the plan... and I... all those innocent lives...." She fell silent. And if he strained his hearing enough, he was sure he could hear her silently sniffling.

Levi carefully threw a look towards the brunette, unsure of how to respond to her sudden emotional outburst. Despite his distaste towards her, it seemed the expedition did a number on her too. And the guilt she seemed to be feeling seemed like something he couldn't ignore. "Erwin trusts you." Was all he said.

A snort met his words. "Hah! Wrong judgement on that... I know everyone questions my methods, I know the way people talk behind my back about me. But I never paid mind, thinking I would prove them wrong someday. I thought Erwin would come to see my brilliance one day too. But I think instead I just proved how wrong I was all along. And maybe... maybe you were the only one who saw through all of that. You were always the one to advise Erwin and everyone against my ideas... I was stupid... If only I'd listened to you."

He stayed silent. A strange feeling of shame filling him from hearing the brunette's confession. Sure, he'd brashly spoken multiple times about how bad her ideas seemed to be. And he had indeed badmouthed her for being a lose canon ready to explode and destroy everything in her path just for the sake of needing to quench her curiousity. But he wasn't aware his words had hurt her in any way before.

The usual vibrant individual that had a hard time staying still and silent for longer than two seconds was suddenly the complete opposite. And it was throwing him off. It made him feel guilty somehow.

"You stink. Clearly you haven't washed since our expedition. Go take a bath." Levi responded in the only way he knew how to answer. "I'll set up the tub for you."

Hange stayed silent, eyes still downcast to whatever had been occupying her attention the whole time he'd been there.

When Levi came back, he was surprised at seeing the woman slouching over the table. Seemingly worn out from the day's events she had finally succumbed to her fatigue.

"Tch... fucking Four-Eyes..." He grumbled. But seeing as there was no other way around it, he took his jacket off, carefully placing it on the bed so it wouldn't get soiled before going around and picking the sleeping form up. Hange whimpered a few times, but otherwise didn't stir much. As he carried her to the tub, he couldn't help but take a peek at her face. And his heart stopped for a moment when he came to notice the trail of tears that made their way down her cheek. In his state of shock, not having paid mind to his surroundings, he ended up knocking a bottle of ink down, covering her desk in black.

"Shit." He swore, snapping out of his stupor as he continued carrying Hange towards the bathtub.

"Oi, Shitty-glasses. You going to undress yourself or you're going to make me do it?" But her lack of response combined with the silent tear still hanging on her lash was enough for an answer. Carefully and with the most respect, he stripped her off her clothes, peeling each soiled layer one by one until she was completely bare in the tub of warm water. Having thoroughly washed her hair and face, slowly her eyes fluttered open as he started scrubbing at her legs. A surprised look on her face as she noted the state they were in.

"Ah, you're up. Continue scrubbing yourself. I got to clean the mess you created." He grumbled as he handed her the sponge. "And make sure to scrub well. I will throw you back in if I see as much as a speck of dirt on you."

Closing the door behind him, Levi let out a tired sigh. Why was he suddenly feeling sympathy towards her? She knew what she got them all into. She understood her nonsense brought death to their comrades which she never seemed to show a care or remorse towards. So why did he suddenly feel like he was in the wrong? That he had this need to care for her? Shaking his head, he went onto cleaning the ink off the table. Luckily the pot seemed to have been almost empty, so except for a few splotches here and there, everything seemed to be clear of ink. Moving a few of the clutter away, his gaze suddenly landed on an open book. Curiousity getting the best of him, he let his eyes wander through the lines of writing, only to feel his face contorting into one of confusion.

Anabelle Haste, 21. Killed trying to save Lauren Bell, 19, who died by being eaten by a ten feet titan.

Edward Crown, 18, Ethan Bret, 18, Emma Krist, 16, all killed together by being caught off guard at the rear of formation.

Thomas Heist, 17, Morgan Heist, 17, twins. Both died together trying to help carry the corpse of their older brother Peter, 18, back.

The names of their past comrades and their deaths continued flowing throughout the whole book. Each line detailing their ages and the people they were closest to. Followed by where they lived and small trinkets Hange had been able to scrape from their personal belongings if possible.

And then his heart dropped as he went back to the beginning of the book. The first two names imprinted on the page being of his two best friends.

Isabel Magnolia, 17. Died alongside Furlan Church, 18, during their first expedition outside the walls. Both were from the Underground, but were very promising in their abilities using the ODM gear. Isabel loved the yellow dandelions we had growing around the pond near HQ, this one was found in one of the books she was reading. Furlan dreamt of owning a tea shop with his best friend Levi. I found this coin on his desk.

Feeling his eyes sting from unshed tears he hadn't realized were forming until then, he quickly wiped them away as he heard the door open behind him.

"Thanks for the bath, I didn't realize how much I needed it unti-" Hange stopped as she came into view of Levi holding her familiar book in his hands.

"Oh..."

"What the fuck is this, Shitty-glasses?" Levi questioned, pointing to the leather bound book. His face contorting to one of anger and confusion.

Seeing as there was no way out of it, Hange sighed, flopping onto her bed in defeat. "Where I keep names of our fallen comrades."

"I can fucking see that much. But why do you have it?"

"Because... It's sad just forgetting them. They all had dreams before them but gave up their lives for our cause. We all dedicated our lives to fight off the titans, and letting their memories go as if each of them were disposable is not something that I can bring myself to do."

Levi stared at the woman. "And you wrote down each of their names?"

Slowly Hange nodded. "Yes... I try tracking down those close to them, try to figure out their age and how they died. We can't afford to send each of them off in a lavish manner, but at least keeping their name and sacrifice alive is something doable on paper. I'm hoping someday when we can all defeat the titans, we can use this record to build a proper memorial for all our comrades."

Silence fell over them as Levi continued staring at Hange's deflated figure.

"I... I was doing the same for the comrades that we lost today but... There's so many of them, Levi. So many lost and so many I can't name or put something personal about them because they all died along their friends. There's no one to retell their story, or nothing to showcase what they loved or even that they existed. I'm just... so tired. And to think this is all because of me and my decision to go after some stupid tit-"

"It's not your fault." Levi interjected. His voice ringing against the silence of the night. "They flanked us. We weren't aware they had huddled near the east side because some meddlesome treasure seekers sneaked out to get some valuable off the corps of our comrades... None of today's loss were because of you. So don't take blame over something other fucktards did, Shitty-glasses. Our comrades died on their conscience, not yours."

At his words, Hange's eyes widened. Her brown eyes staring right at him as her mouth hung agape.

"Fucking close your mouth, you look like a fucking fish." Levi threw at her, turning to the book at hand to avoid her piercing gaze. A few minutes of silence passed as Levi continued flipping through the pages, small recollections of certain comrades coming to mind after glossing over their names.

"Chase Piercer, 21. He died after hearing the cries of the treasure seekers. He was the first at the scene and flared us to get help. He died along with Nathan Feekle, his boyfriend, 20." Levi said, opening the book to the most recent page, where half the slots were empty. Confusion clouded Hange's brown orbs as she glanced up at him, not sure what he was getting to. It wasn't until Levi took the ink pot and a feather pen to her that she realized what he'd meant. Excitement and curiosity flared in her chest at the information her companion had just given her, a newborn sense of purpose filling her once again.

Having watched the woman scribble down their names in her most neat handwriting, he pulled out something from out of his jacket pocket. "And these... these were their wings of freedom. They each have their names at the back of them. Add them next to their names."

And with a brilliant smile, Hange threw herself at Levi, enveloping him in the warmest embrace he'd ever gotten. "Thank you, Levi... Thank you so much."

A birthday is meant to be to celebrate and thank an individual for making it another year- for being with us for another year. Erwin's words rung back at him.

"Happy birthday, Hange!" The room exploded with activity as the brunette entered the once darkened commander's office. Candlelight immediately illuminating the table full of delicacies usually unattainable with their budget, while her friends and closest companions threw themselves at her.

"What is all this?! When did you all get the time for this?" Hange laughed as she spotted what could only be Moblit's drawing of Hange smiling next to a titan on the wall behind Erwin.

"We thought you needed a little break. As well as a thank you from all of us for the efforts you've put into helping us defeat the giants. No one does it like you, Hans." Nanaba said, wrapping her best friend in a tight hug.

"Right. We also needed an excuse to get something more palatable than charred carrots." Mike commented, earning a slap on the head from Erwin.

Throwing her head back in laugher, Hange smiled. "I appreciate all of this... Thank you. I too have grown tired of charred carrots. That's probably why i don't have much of an appetite lately."

"Tch... that's probably also why your eyesight is so shitty, Four-Eyes." An unexpected voice commented, causing her to swiftly turn to the corner of the room, where Levi stood in solitary, avoiding the center stage of the celebration.

"Levi! You're here too!" She cheered happily, quickly letting go of the blonde as she made her way to the unexpected guest.

"You're the last person I'd expect to be at my birthday celebration." Hange teased, to which Levi rolled his eyes at.

"I was forced to attend. Besides, I need to keep an eye out and make sure you guys don't get the place too dirty." Hange let out a snort. "Of course, that's the reason." She said with a peek of her tongue at him. But they didn't get to talk much more as Nifa immediately grabbed onto her section leader's hand, leading her to the desserts which she and Petra had spent all night making.

"Petra decorated this one so prettily! I tried to do it too, but seems I'm only good at baking, so I left the decorating to her."

The rest of the evening went by without a hitch. Funny stories being told, with the members becoming more and more lively as the night went on from the alcohol consumed. Even Levi, who usually detested and flat out refused to drink anything other than tea, decided to join in for the night.

"I'm just sorry we couldn't get you anything nice, Hans. We tried scrapping up some money but could only really afford to get you a few nice stationary." Nanaba lamented as Hange opened her gift.

Hange shook her head, smiling from ear to ear. "No, I'm already thankful enough having you all here with me. I love it, thank you."

But Erwin interrupted, gently coughing to get everyone's attention. "Actually, I think we all missed a present. There's one under the table we all seemed to have glossed over."

Confusion engulfed the room as everyone exchanged confused glances with each other. Although the brunette's excitement blinded her to the mayhem behind her, causing her not to notice her companions' confusion.

The gift was neatly wrapped, perfectly pressed with nothing out of line in a bright yellow colour. As Hange opened it in anticipation, a particular individual watched her closely in silence. His heart beating out of his chest as he watched the birthday girl's expression.

Hange's eyes narrowed as her brows furrowed in confusion. Her silence causing everyone in the room to fall into expectant anticipation as well. "I... I don't know what to say." She whispered just above a whisper.

And for a second, Levi's heart dropped. Did she not like the gift? Did he guess wrong? Had he ruined the mood? It was his first time gifting someone, and he didn't know whether he'd done the right thing or not.

But his doubts were quickly eased when Hange's excited shout filled the room.

"A MICROSCOPE! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GUYS GET A MICROSCOPE FROM?! IMAGINE ALL THE TESTING I CAN DO WITH THIS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" She shouted in glee, hugging the metal contraption to her chest.

While the others looked on in confusion, Erwin threw a knowing smile to Levi. Causing his face to pink from embarrassment. "Shut it. Unless you want the rest of the night to go to waste." He grumbled. And luckily for him, the older man didn't test him as he chuckled and headed back to join his friends.

The night winded down later than expected. And by that time, half their friends had already passed out, while the other were dealing with a terrible hangover. Hange told everyone she would stay behind and clean up, and Levi being Levi, was already going to do so, so they both ended up cleaning up the mess.

For the most part they were silent, focusing on their tidying duties as the aftermath of the party started leaving their systems. Until...

Splat.

A wet substance of mass hit him on the face. His surprise only lasted a second as Hange's laugher followed. "Your face! I've never seen you so defenseless before!"

"Oi... you're really asking for it now." Levi grunted as he started chasing the brunette around the room, a broom in one hand, the other with a rag. By the time Levi chased her down, it was already daybreak. Tired and out of breath, the two laid on their backs to the wooden floor as they stared up at the ceiling above them.

"Thank you, Levi." She softly spoke up after an elongated silence.

"Huh? What for? Chasing you around with a rag?"

A snort followed his words. "No... For celebrating with me. For giving me the names of those missing soldiers. For comforting me when I felt lost. For being my friend... and for the microscope." She said.

He froze, unsure of how to answer.

Sensing his predicament, she slowly turned on her side so she was looking at him. "Don't deny it. You're the only one that would actually go out of your way to get me one. You're the one who's always getting sponsorships and gifts from the public... it's not out of the realm of possibility for you to reach out to someone to make one."

Throwing a glance at the woman next to him, he sighed. closing his eyes. "Fine. It was me. But it's so that you owe me from now on." He answered. And as expected, Hange giggled at his response.

"I already owe you a lot. Just add it to the list of favours you can get out of me for the next ten years."

This time, Levi turned fully to her, his eyes catching her curious brown ones. "It's not just me you're helping with the microscope, Four-eyes. You're using it to help everyone as you study titans and their origins. Thanks to your experiments, we can become stronger. I will ask for your continued support." He said.

With a smile, Hange nodded. "To defeat the titans... let's work together to get rid of them."

And at seeing the bright morning light illuminated in her irises, he couldn't help but smile as well. "I'll hold you to that. Happy birthday, Four-Eyes."

#hange zoe #levi ackerman #aot #levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot ff #levihan ff

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enden-agolor · 1 year

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ok im now honestly curious, imagine if the mcsm gang somehow got a copy of minecarft and played it, how would they react to all the differences and such

and also just, the gamemodes like creative

Oh dude I think they'd LOVE IT.

Jesse is absolutely a survival mode kinda guy. Doing the most mining/traveling. He'll find it hard to stay in one place, only ever coming back to drop off his loot and scurry off again. He's the kind of player to be running home, see a cave, "Lord have mercy... We MUST stay focused." And quickly jotting down the coordinates to return to later on when his inventory is nice and empty. He's super good at mining and bringing back materials for his friends.

Lukas is definitely the builder of the group. He builds all the houses and stuff. Like... straight up beautiful houses. Like those ones you see in build compilations. He's incredibly talented and has real vision for these sort of things. Jesse coming back like "where's my house, Lukas?" :D and Lukas is like :) and leads him to this nice cozy house and it's everything he's ever dreamed of. My exact vision is the house in your camp from Minecraft Dungeons. It's... It's literally perfect. The perfect comfy little jesskas home. Jesse going inside like woah!! This is so cool!! Goes upstairs and finds the two minecraft beds sitting side by side. 🗿 Uh oh. Gay alert. That's his and Lukas' house.

Anyways.

Petra I imagine is also survival mode focused. She like... rushes through the game. She gets cocky and over confident with woodland mansions and ESPECIALLY the deep dark. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. The amount of times Jesse and Lukas have seen the "xXPetraIsAwesomeXx was obliterated by a sonically-charged shriek trying to escape the Warden" and a loud "FUCK" coming from another room down the hall. 🤭

Axel is... Exactly what you'd think he is. He does mostly creative and sometimes survival. He loves griefing the villagers... Also just building super cool awesome builds just to show off and impress others with (they are not as good as Lukas' but he is very passionate about his work. Therefore, everyone loves and supports him)

Olivia is the person doing redstone tutorials on youtube 💀

#ask

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lezbrarian · 4 months

Text

Title: Come On Down To The Lavender Luck Lounge

**Alright, I made a post already with the proper embedded AO3 version, but in case people are not into that ... idk this is my first go around of this ... I'll also make it a text post here as well. I did it -- I wrote some casino AU fanfic inspired by these outfits, in which Dan is a stuffy dry accounting manager and Phil is the owner of the casino. Thank you @dapg-otmebytheballs for the additional inspiration with your tags! And thank you to the anon who provided me with the name of the casino!

***

Title: Come On Down To The Lavender Luck Lounge

Rating:

Mature

Relationships:

Dan Howell/Phil Lester

Dan Howell & Phil Lester

Summary:

Gay Casino AU: Mr. Philip Lester is the suave, flamboyant owner of a queer casino and resort, Lavender Luck Lounge. Mr. Daniel Howell is the uptight and dry accounting manager for the casino. This fic was inspired by the outfits from these videos, respectively: Daniel's: (Dystopia Daily: Dan and Phil Finally Tell the Truth) Philip's: (DAPG: Roasting Our Own Red Carpet Fashion)

Notes:

This is a work in progress. It may become longer; I may leave it at this. It's just something I was inspired to write after I saw a post on tumblr with the outfits mentioned above. I'm not sure what the plot is or will be, I just wanted to play around in this gay casino alternate universe and see where it takes these characters. Speaking of which, I'll make an obligatory disclaimer. This is a piece of fiction merely inspired by the online personas of Dan and Phil to create these characters and universe. This is not speculating on the real personal lives of Dan or Phil, and I very much do not want this to be sent to Dan/Phil in any way. So please don't do that. So far the story is not explicit/graphic, but I chose to mark this as mature as it's going to feature themes of drinking, smoking, sex and "adult" language by nature of being set in a casino.

*** The casino was buzzing. The gaudy abundance of neon-light up signs were emitting a baseline hum, always there comfortingly familiar. This alone could barely be heard over the rest of the noise that almost always populated the place. The ding! and shing sha-shing cartoon cash sound effects of the slot machines. An occasional male voice over of JACKPOT or WINNER! Then there was the sloshed singles clamoring for the bartenders’ attention at the multiple themed bars. There were the slightly out-of-place yet confident bachelorette parties of straight woo girls. They shrieked and giggled and stiletto-stumbled their way around the casino in large packs. There were the dealers whose voices cut through the chaos with practice. Notes of brassy jazz or Kim Petras might float off the performers’ stages out to the main floor during burlesque or drag shows, respectively. Then of course the cacophony of having so many people in one room, endless conversations converging together into one collective murmur.

On days like this, there was all that buzz, and then some. Because today the rumor that the owner would be here was once again stirring. It didn’t matter that Mr. Lester dropped in frequently, as a very hands-on owner of the casino and resort hotel attached. Nearly every employee lost it each time this frequent rumor spread through the halls, acting as if someone had said an A-list celebrity would be visiting the casino. Employees scrambled and preened and eagerly awaited Mr. Lester’s arrival. That was just about every employee would. There was at least one person who absolutely refused to participate in what he referred to as “juvenile gossip and infatuation.” This would be the accounting manager, Mr. Howell. He mostly hid away in his office, the only place in the casino void of the “tacky” neon lights and oh-so-80s casino furniture and carpeting. Daniel’s office was the only place Mr. Lester had relinquished control on décor. Daniel had claimed he couldn’t work “like this” with a sweeping gesture to the main lobby as Philip had toured him around on the day of his interview. Philip couldn’t help feeling slightly impressed perhaps at the nerve to diss his casino before he was even hired. Plus Daniel was good for the job. He didn’t need the accountant to love casino life. He needed him to love numbers. And Phil would never admit it out loud, but any time he ventured into Mr. Howell’s office, it did provided a much-needed relief to his senses.

In here, there was almost silence and there was a break from the strong smell of pina colada and smoke. Mr. Lester would never allow cigarettes inside, but there was a classy cigar lounge and the smoke clung to clothes and then subsequently, crushed velvet seat cushions and thick carpet fibers. Daniel’s office was meticulously tidy and organized. Uncluttered. As opposed to the neon and flashing lights, and led strips that lined the hallways and floorboards out there – in here there were just soft warm lamps, maybe an open blind. The only smells a fresh inoffensive candle or the faintest hint of Daniel’s aftershave. The floor was an almost sterile white tile, if it weren’t for the rest of the décor in nearly all black to balance it out. One accent wall was painted black too, and the others a nice off-white. A few plants draped their leaves dramatically over bookshelves or the side of his desk. It was ridiculous and unnecessary but it was Daniel’s office and his own money out of his pocket – the desk housed a modern desktop computer, but also an old-fashioned calculator and huge yellowing-white computer from the ‘90s complete with a clacky keyboard. His desk was otherwise cleared, any important documents and office supplies organized neatly in drawers. There were some tasteful books on bookshelves, which Philip guessed were chosen more for their spines and color than their content. The important documents and useful books were tucked away in filing cabinets. And of course it was still a casino, so Phil’s only influence in the room (or so Daniel let Philip believe) was the occasional gold accent piece here or there.

No matter how many times Mr. Howell indicated his complete disinterest in these frequent announcements that Mr. Lester was coming with a flat monotone “alright” or “and?” – one of the youngest and most flamboyant employees would flit into his office on their OMG he’s coming! casino tour. It certainly seemed to be more about the message-bearer than any actual response to this delivery of news, as they never skipped Daniel’s office on this rumor tour.

***

Daniel’s office door rattled closed and quickly as it had been flung open. He felt his skull rattle in its frame the same way the door rattled in its own. He sighed. He didn’t bother even giving the messenger a response today. He thinks it was Felix, one of the servers for the drag shows. But it was hard to keep track of them all, especially when he spent most of his time tucked away in this office, only to be interrupted for moments like these.

Each time someone opened his door – the casino seemed to seep into his office, his sanctuary. He swore he could smell cheap perfume and well liquor. And when he blinked the led lights of the hallway were still in his vision. He closed his eyes and rubbed at them and then his temples, attempting to regain the focus and flow he’d been in before.

Plenty of the employees and even people in Daniel’s personal life wondered why on earth he took this job, if he seemed to detest it so much. He seemed so bothered with the casino atmosphere, so why this job? Well Philip had promised him he really could just stay behind this desk, not dealing with anything other than the numbers, the input and output of money. He would have the occasional meeting, and other than that he could live in his own little world crunching numbers, completely hyper-focused and zoned out from the casino world. Calculate this, manage that. Something to keep his hands and mind busy, and the thoughts out. Of course he’d worked other types of money management and accounting jobs. But he was always being dragged into other areas of business, managing employees. And that always really meant managing other people’s emotions, which he was not in the business of. Plus there were not many places he could merge his queer identity and his money management. He absolutely despised the jobs he’d worked on Wall Street, with fratty finance bros in their polos and khakis or drab blue suits and crisp baby blue button-ups. Yeah, that was not for him. The Lavender Luck Lounge casino aesthetic might have swung entirely too far in the other direction for him, but at least he was not expected to fist bump and contribute to heterosexual male small talk here. Sure it was flashy and tacky and way, way too colorful. But the workplace was ostensibly queer. The bartenders, servers, dealers, and bouncers were an impressive and intimidating mix of cool tattooed lesbians, big burly bears, adorable flamboyant twinks, nonbinary hotties with names like Twig, and the list could go on and on. There was an incredibly talented and diverse cast of drag queens and burlesque performers. All the employees were encouraged to be themselves and dress how they felt comfortable. Yes, Daniel found this place to be overstimulating and frankly gaudy for his own taste, but he would take that any day over a boring cookie cutter cubicle where he had to dress the same as every other man in the building.

Daniel was having a hard time getting back into his focus after Felix, or had it been Striker, had flung their long braids over their shoulder and bounced out of the room. He couldn’t get their damn singsongy Mr. Leeeeester is coooomiiiing! out of his head, like an annoying ear worm of a song. He sat up straight at his computer. Though Philip had made sure to have his desk and chair measured for ergonomics, Daniel found himself slouching at it frequently. At 6’3” he was just use to slouching and hunching at most desks. He fussed with his blazer, which was black with a thin white gird pattern today. He liked to dress well for the job, fashionable but nothing too flashy. He had never asked if there was a dress code, but Mr. Lester had also never provided him with a set of rules or dress code either. Judging from the range of casual to full on costume-garb among the other employees – he was pretty sure he could wear just about anything to work and it would be fine. But like his office, he preferred a style that was well-kempt, chic, lowkey but stylish. And it was almost always black and white head to toe. Today he let the blazer be the focus, with a fitted grey shirt underneath and the blazer open. He paired black slacks that tapered and revealed the ankle. To be fair this is how he had to wear most slacks at his height, unless he shopped at Big and Tall, which he most certainly did not. But he didn’t mind – the tapered ankle-showing look was in as far as he could tell. He wore a sensible but expensive sock and a shiny black loafer. The only bit of accessorizing he ever did was one small hoop earring on one side, which he’d had since his days in college, and a fancy silver watch which he’d acquired once he graduated and made some Wall Street money. In fact, it was one bit of his daily outfit from those days that he’d kept in the rotation. He’d tossed most of his ties, finding them stuffy – plus they reminded him of his all-boys-school uniform days. Not great memories there. His outfit today was fairly similar to what he wore most days, and it seemed Mr. Lester had no problem with it. In fact, he’d even give Daniel an occasional “looking snazzy, Howell.” Daniel dressed with the goal that nobody on the street would look at him and think that guy works in a casino. Daniel thought Mr. Lester dressed like he must want every person on planet earth to know he owned a casino. He often barely managed to be out of eye sight of Philip before he rolled his eyes at whatever flashy thing Philip had donned that day.

He'd had his eyes closed for quite some time. Still gently rubbing the bridge of his nose and his temples. Before he knew it, his door was being knocked on and flung open before he could answer “come in” again.

“I know he’s com—”

“Who’s coming, Mr. Howell?” Philip asked and Daniel swore he heard an ounce of amusement, perhaps innuendo in his voice?

“Not me – I mean, never mind doesn’t matter. Hi, I thought you were someone else.” Oh, god. He wasn’t the most social person, but he’d like to be able to at least perform these standard social interactions without completely fumbling.

“Okie dokie” Phil said sincerely. Daniel was sure he was the only person in the world who could pull off that phrase without an ounce of sarcasm. “Well I’m sorry to disappoint you that I’m not someone else, but I just dropped by to remind you about our meeting later today!”

Daniel is positive Philip never mentioned this meeting, but this was par for the casino owener’s course. He worked hard, and ultimately ran a tight ship. He made his employees genuinely happy and actually cared about how they were doing. He was a good hands-on owner. He was charming and whip smart too, with innovative ideas and solutions. But he was a total fucking scatterbrain. His office, not unlike the stark difference between Daniel’s and his stylistic choices in clothing, was the exact opposite of Daniel’s. Where Dan’s desk was tidy, uncluttered, a sleek black desk with a piece of green-tinted glass over it – there was virtually no way of knowing what color or nearly even where Philip’s desk was in his office. His office might as well not have a desk or shelves since you couldn’t see them anyway under the piles and piles of loose papers, notebooks, post-it-notes and knick-knacks. In Phil’s office, the aesthetic of the casino and resort certainly bled over. There were neon light-up signs in here too – one large one read Here, Queer, I Can Always Lend an Ear! – and there was a plasma ball and definitely more than one lava lamp. The office was slightly more pastel, softer compared to the deep reds and purples of the customer-facing areas of the Lavender Luck Lounge. But this man was born to own a casino. Daniel had no doubt this would not be far off from how Philip’s actual house was decorated. He didn’t know how Mr. Lester found anything at all in here, let alone keep track of anything truly important. It was no wonder he was lucky to get even a notice about a meeting earlier in the day. Daniel preferred plenty of notice, meetings written down in his perfect color-coded calendar weeks in advance. But he was used to this part of the job by this point. And everything else ran pretty smoothly, especially since all important financial documents came straight to his own office. So he was willing to let it slide that meetings often came with little to no warning. And, though he would never admit it, a little change of environment and routine was nice every now and then. Sometimes they would meet in Phil’s office. But there were conference rooms in the resort they would use sometimes as well.

“Does that work for you?” Philip asked.

Fuck. He had stopped paying attention again.

“Hmm.. what’s working for me?”

“The … time? For the meeting?” Philip didn’t seem annoyed, but maybe even a bit concerned. “You alright, Daniel? You seem distracted.”

Shit. He couldn’t possibly ask Philip to repeat the time again. Too embarrassing. No, he’d have to bribe a bartender or someone to go subtly ask Mr. Lester if he had a meeting later that day, and the get the time from them.

“Yes! Works for me,” Daniel answered with too much enthusiasm now.

Philip turned then, his heeled boots making a nice loud click-clack against the tile in his office. In this entire interaction Daniel had barely actually looked at Philip. His boots were shiny black snakeskin (Daniel assumed it was faux, but expensive nonetheless), and they had a modest heel that gave Philip an extra two or three inches to his already tall height of 6’2”. He was wearing slacks very similar to Dan’s --- tapered nicely at the ankle above his boots. But on second glance, Philip’s were a deep, deep red beyond red wine or burgundy – appearing almost black at first. And his shirt – it was a silky long-sleeve button down. The shirt was more of a cherry red with an abstract black water color stripey effect. And he had the first few buttons undone, exposing his pale chest and a surprising amount of dark chest hair for an otherwise clean shaven man. He was sporting a delicate gold chain necklace as well. He certainly looked like he owned a casino, more so than usual even. His looks often leaned a bit more flashy, sparkly even. But today – he was looking almost, dare someone say, sleazy? But in a swanky and suave way still, somehow, he was pulling it all off.

Before Philip closed the door and left, he leaned back into the doorframe.

“I like that blazer, Howell. You should wear that one more often.”

Daniel was certainly not oblivious to what was so charming about Mr. Lester, or why he seemed to have an entire casino’s worth of employees wrapped around his finger.

And without a response, Philip closed the door behind him. Daniel could still hear his heels clicking down the hallway, until he reached the carpeted main floor.

***

#dnp #dnp fanfic #dnp fanfiction #dan and phil #dan and phil fanfic #dan and phil fanfiction #au #casino au #dnp DNI !!!!! please !#my writing

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chayscribbles · 1 year

Text

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ march 2023

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 13 235

projects worked on: technically i only wrote for Andromeda Rogue but i did rotate my other side wips rather violently in my head. like this is not a gentle rotisserie chicken rotating, this is a full-on centrifuge machine

proudest accomplishment: this is the month i've written the most all year ????? also i reached over 50K on AR draft 2!!!

books read: Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo; Artificial Condition (Murderbot Diaries #2) by Martha Wells; and i've also just started A Rival Most Vial by writeblr's very own @ashen-crest!

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

at what degree of sparse activity do i have to concede defeat call it a hiatus. i'm doing fine, i've just been really busy with work and haven't had time to devote to writeblr that much 😔

remember when i said i was gonna intro my Third, Secret WIP this month? yeah, that didn't happen. i'm trying to crack down on AR bc i have this goal of finishing this draft by my birthday in mid-May (although i don't think that's gonna happen at this rate...) so i don't think i'll be talking too much about my other wips here until then. but i'm definitely still playing with them every once in a while lol

uhh not much else to say as far as general writing comments go. have some reading comments: Hell Bent was good but felt a bit messier than the first book imo, 4 stars. Artificial condition absolutely fucked, 5 stars. and i'm not very far in A Rival Most Vial but i love love love it so far.

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

so yes this draft is coming along nicely.

right now i'm in the weird bit between the drama of the midpoint and the drama of the climax where things sort of slow down a bit... i'm trying to figure out if i need to add stuff to keep it from dragging but i'm stumped as to what.

i can't tell at what point i need to fix things now or leave things for Future Me. like i can't avoid my problems forever lmao i do have to become Future Me at some point...

there's also a few bits where i don't know if it's actually bad and needs to be fixed or if i'm just overthinking things lol. i've already bothered my rubber duckie (you know who you are <3) too many times for things that i thought were problems that in the end only needed the simplest of solutions... so maybe i need to just leave it be and see what my beta readers think?

speaking of betas... i'm a little *insert gif of me vibrating at the speed of sound* at the thought of people actually Reading My Writing... it feels like that might be happening soon... but i'm probably getting a bit ahead of myself 😅

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

i can never remember what i've posted for AR yet and what i haven't but i did change this scene a bit from the first draft. so without further ado, have some Azami being badass and standing up to a space pirate who had kidnapped her. warnings for weapons i guess, lmk if there's anything else i should warn for

With a smirk, Song let go of Azami’s wrist, and that was there he made the grave mistake of turning his back to her.

Petra caught Azami’s eyes flick down to his belt a split second before she pounced. Hands still tied, she gripped the handle of his plasma wand, yanked it out of its holster, and jabbed it at the back of Song’s head.

“Answer the question, asshole!” she shrieked.

Song stopped walking, but didn’t flinch. His smirk merely widened as he slowly turned around to face her. “Do you even know how to use that, sweetheart?”

Azami pointed the wand between his legs and squeezed a button. A flash of light filled the room as a blue laser shot out of the rusty handle. It flew just shy of Song’s crotch, singeing the fabric of his pants, before hitting the floor with a loud crack and a flurry of sparks. Petra yelped and jumped back. Song sucked in a sharp breath, finally dropping his cool demeanour.

“That was a warning. I’ll blast your balls clean off next time,” Azami promised, aiming the wand a bit higher.

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepenss @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda rogue taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa @outpost51

#chayscribbles writing update #wip andromeda trilogy #wip andromeda rogue

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hannahhook7744 · 1 year

Text

The four (mischievous) little cousins revamped and headcanons;

Her full name is Renata Imelda Rivera-Madrigal.

She is the 3rd youngest of Alma's great grandchildren.

She's also her parents' youngest child at 5 years old.

She is Mirabel Madrigal and Miguel Rivera Sr's daughter.

She loves bows and shoes.

Renata also loves sewing and dancing.

Her gift is x-ray version.

When she was given her gift, she gave everyone quite the scare by shrieking bloody murder for no apparent reason. The party was over pretty quickly after that.

Miguel thought it was pretty ironic when they figured out what was wrong.

No one was amused when he pointed this out.

She was named after her maternal great great grandmother.

She wears an x-ray blocking blind fold when she has trouble controlling her powers and stays in her room a good portion of the idea to avoid her gift.

She's afraid of skeletons.

She has big ears.

Her favorite color is hot pink.

She has slightly curly hair and gaps in her teeth.

She gets along best with her mom.

Renata loves dogs. Especially Dante and his pup.

She is slightly shorter than her sister, Vera.

Renata wants to be a seamstress and shoe maker.

Her full name is Vera Coco Rivera-Madrigal.

She is 6 years old by d3.

She is Mirabel Madrigal and Miguel Rivera Sr's oldest child.

She loves kites.

She can fly.

She loves singing, dancing, and playing the guitar.

Vera also loves bread.

She and her sister share responsibility for one of Dante's puppies that they named 'Nova'..

She has brown eyes and natural blonde hair (no one knows where the blonde hair came from).

She wears glasses.

She loves bows and sleeveless shirts.

Vera's favorite colors are pink, red, and white.

She goes to school in the Encanto.

To keep her from floating off until she learns how to fully control her gift, she wears iron shoes that her parental grandparents made her.

She had a nasty habit of pointing and making faces.

Her jaw drops ALOT.

Her parents are doing their best to break her out of all 3 habits.

When Vera got her gift, she nearly floated off. Needless to say, that caused ALOT of panic for everyone involved.

She was named after her paternal great grandmother.

She gets along best with her dad.

Vera wants to be a musician.

She has big ears.

Her full name is Silvia Julieta Nattura- Madrigal.

She's 10 years old by d3.

She is mischievous like Vera and Renata.

She loves butterflies, donkeys, pianos, bows, and rollercoasters..

Silvia also likes playing in the mud and pulling pranks.

She dresses classily because she likes that too.

She looks up to her mom.

She is Luisa Madrigal and Ryder Nattura's youngest child.

She has one sister named 'Belinda.'

She is named after her maternal grandmother.

Silvia also loves woodcarving.

Her gift is earth bending/manipulation.

She has natural straight brown hair.

She also has freckles and big ears.

She is slightly shorter than her sister, Belinda.

She loves helping out her mom with the donkeys.

Her favorite color is light tones of blue.

Silvia wants to be a professional pianist when she grows up.

Her full name is Belinda Petra Nattura-Madrigal.

She is 12 years old by d3.

She is mischievous like her sister and her younger cousins, Renata and Vera.

Unlike the three of them however, she hates bows.

She is Luisa Madrigal and Ryder Nattura's daughter.

She also hates sleeves.

She loves long socks though.

She has the gift of panmnesia—the power to remember and recall absolutely everything one thinks, feels, encounters, and experiences.

Belinda is slightly bitter about this because she thinks that her gift is useless and a curse.

Her gift is also overwhelming at times.

She has sensory overloads alot because of her gift.

Which causes her to be rather close to Dolores, who can relate in several ways.

Her favorite color is mahogany.

She likes drawing, all kinds of puzzles, reading, and rollercoasters..

She also loves fireworks.

Belinda wants to be an amusement park owner when she grows up.

She takes joy in corrupting her younger sister and cousins—dragging them into all sorts of mischief.

Belinda also enjoys helping her mother with the donkeys.

She also enjoys dabbling in gambling.

She is taller than her younger sister and cousins.

She is her mother's oldest child and she looks up to her.

She also has big ears.

The original character designs and their doors:

(I came up with the names.

From left to right they are Belinda, Silvia, Vera, and Renata).

#descendants #disney descendants #melissa de la cruz #encanto #descendants encanto #descendants encanto crossover #crossovers #encanto au #encanto + descendants crossover #encanto + descendants crossover au #encanto + descendants au #encanto scrapped characters #encanto deleted characters #revamping of deleted characters #encanto headcanons #disney descendants headcanons #descendants headcanons #etcetera #etc.

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astridthevalkyrie · 2 years

Text

standing at the crossroads: chapter 6

Captain Levi is your lover. But more importantly, he’s your superior, and you’re well prepared to follow him to hell if he needs you to. And when people start turning into titans, and every bloody death is one step closer to the truth, hell may be exactly where you’re going.

Chapter 5 | Series Masterlist

taglist: @whore-for-anime, @macaronnv, @sparklython, @marciabito, @rintarhoes, @honeycakiee, @dracq, @welcometofunkytown, @tokyo-banana, @andsothemonsterscrept, @c0urtn3y, @rukova, @deadlyaffairs, @yellowminb, @sempiternalxmusic, @lacheri, @midaribaby, @rawritzrobin, @meeraaa-17, @atinyarmyx1, @kissalix, @inaaavae, @castellandiangelo, @ackermandick, @missyasma, @tenaciouswritersheep, @notgoodforlife, @sakurashell, @lqme, @affection-thief

chapter warnings: female!reader, canon-typical violence, character death, torture, dark thoughts

a/n: hello hello!! originally this chapter was going to be longer and cover the entire arc, but i’ve decided to split it into two and so the story will have ten chapters instead of nine as originally planned. this chapter was just getting way too long and i think it works better as a two parter, since the first part of this season is so emotionally packed. happy reading, loves <3

“Hey!” Oluo cries. “Gunther has it, get him!”

“I’ll get both of you!” you shriek, whacking him across the shoulder before moving on to your next target. Instead of cowering in fear, Gunther grabs a wet dishrag and aims straight at your face.

“Don’t you dare—“

Too late. A sopping (and probably filthy) rag hits your cheek with a splotch that makes Petra gasp, muffling her snickers under her palm.

In a motion that feels too slow, you peel it off, staring at Gunther in a way you’ve probably never looked at any titan.

“Count your seconds.”

“Oluo!” he shouts, tossing the worth-more-than-his-life bracelet straight over your head. Oluo protests, says he’s not playing anymore, but catches the bracelet anyway, dangling it maddeningly right before your very eyes.

“If one of you breaks it, I swear to Rose, I will take you to court!”

“Not the courts,” Gunther moans dramatically, throwing a hand over his eyes. “Please, the only way you could get a judge to side with you is if you sucked his—”

“You’re vile,” you say flatly, right as Petra butts in to gasp, “Too far!”

Now much more inclined to help you out, Petra leans over from where she’s sitting and snatches the bracelet from Oluo’s grasp to toss it to you. Aiming well, you raise your arm up so that it falls smoothly onto your wrist, a motion that both Petra and Oluo catch and roll their eyes at.

Blowing a kiss to the two of them, you toss the rag at Gunther without looking. It hits him much harder than it hit you, smack on his nose, shooting him into a harsh sneeze. “Ah—ah—Eld!” He points to you as you advance, raising his arms in defense mid laugh.

“Yeah, that’s enough, you got your eye for an eye,” Eld claims, grabbing you from behind.

“Ooh, Jinn, I’m your superior officer, you had better let me go right now—”

“Come on, Lieutenant,” Petra hums sweetly, sliding off the counter, “Go easy on him, he’s just jealous he can’t match your strength—watch it, Gunther!” She narrowly ducks from what is now clearly a rag that will be used more for horsing around than for cleaning, hiding behind you with a shriek.

“Hey, Lieutenant!” Gunther grins. “You’re doing the dish cleaning, right? I think it was all of us cleaning the table and you doing all the dishes tonight. That’s what the captain said.”

Oluo nods. “Definitely what I heard.”

You turn, affronted, to Petra, who’s shaking her head. “Don’t listen to them. I’ll help you with the dishes.”

“I’ll hold your bracelet,” Eld offers, chortling. You stick your tongue out at him. “You good with that, Lieutenant?”

You don’t remember what you said, but right now, yes, you are wholly fine with that situation.

Can a moment last forever?

“Lieutenant?”

Eld’s face blurs, as Petra’s grip on your shoulders seems to fade away.

“Lieutenant? Lieutenant!”

Blinking rapidly, you look to the side, where Connie is holding his hand out expectantly. His brows are furrowed worriedly.

Oh.

That’s probably something you should get out of the habit of doing. What good will it do for anyone if you compare the old squad versus the new squad? Although, considering you’ve been doing it for months, you’re hardly likely to stop doing it now. But still, acknowledgement is the first step and all that.

Passing him the plate to dry, you apologize quietly before washing your hands clean of dishwater.

It’s not really fair to the team for you to compare them. Not just in terms of skill—aside from Mikasa, the elite squad naturally had years of experience on soldiers that only joined the Scouts a few months ago which put them far above others. But even speaking of personality, you had been friends with adults around your age, and these were kids who, while definitely had seen their fair share of shit, had not experienced the same hardships as you and therefore could not relate the same.

That doesn’t mean you haven’t grown fond of them, though. And each of them have their own reasons to be here. Eren to take back Wall Maria, Armin to see the outside world, Mikasa to take care of her friends, Jean because he’s more goodhearted than he wants to believe, Sasha because she’s braver than half the soldiers in the military, and Connie because he has to make the Beast Titan pay. And you’ve felt each of those sentiments. You get it.

As for Krista—Historia—you’re not entirely sure she wants to be here. But she, more so than the others, doesn’t really have a choice.

Currently, an experiment is underway, and you, Sasha and Connie are to guard the house while Hange and the others attempt to get Eren to create some kind of hardening. You don’t know all the details, but you do know that nothing is working.

“Lieutenant, will you tell Captain Levi if I don’t sweep the windows?”

You snort, amused. The fact that he even has to ask speaks very poorly of your image. “Of course not. They look clean enough. Did he actually tell you to do that?”

“He said to clean…” Connie gestures vaguely over the entire area. “All this.”

Sounds like Levi. “Yeah, well, I saw you broom, mop and wipe the counter off. So as far as I’m concerned, you’re done. Go on, take a break.”

“I’m not tired,” he says immediately, “Can I join Sasha outside on patrol?”

“Oh, uh...” You frown, but nod. “Yeah. Go ahead.”

It’s not like you can say anything to him, not when you try to take as many patrol shifts as you can every day. There’s an…unrest? Maybe that’s not the right word for it, but worry sounds too light and paranoia too heavy. You have to protect Eren and Historia. So far there have been no direct attacks or attempts to seize them, but that hasn’t stopped you from hiding just in case.

No one aside from you or Levi is allowed to go into town, and even then you have to be careful. Usually, it’s only to restock on supplies or provide reports. You know that Levi will head from the experiment area to where Erwin has been staying. Sometimes he spends the nights, sometimes he comes home to catch his regular two hours of sleep.

And, you know that even if you hadn’t basically terminated your relationship, a house filled with fifteen year olds was no place for alone time. Of the romantic sort, or the…other sort.

Fuck. How long has it been? You don’t even remember.

Even amidst all the terrible things, and the justification that you’re doing Levi a favor by doing this, you can’t deny how badly you miss his touch. His fingers. His mouth. His…his…

You suck in a sharp breath through your teeth. Connie and Sasha are outside, the others aren’t back yet, you’re alone in the house and you’ve already moved to the girls’ room where you sleep.

There’s a limit to how much you can abstain.

So hesitantly, you cup your own chin, trying to grip it the same way Levi did all the time. Assertive, yet sweet. But that’s beyond you. Or at least you think so. Maybe he would disagree. God, you miss touching him. The way he’d whine if you nipped a particular spot on his neck. How you could spread him out all pretty on his bed and take your time mapping out his body. How he’d take equally as long with you, and wouldn’t let up until he was satisfied with the amount of times he made you come.

Since you’re not in a relationship with him anymore, then it feels wrong to do this. But you don’t have to think about him, you reason, as your hand gently squeezes one of your breasts over the uniform. You could think about some other short, dark haired, ace soldier. There were plenty of those.

It’s been a while since you’ve been able to get past the grief enough to even consider doing something like this. Not that it’s a good way of coping, but it’s a way regardless.

Taking a deep breath, you trace your index finger against the hem of your pants, just about ready to push them down.

Right as you’re about to let your thumb brush over where you need Levi’s touch the most, someone yells outside.

Well, that kills any libido you might have had.

Dashing outside, you’re met with the sign of a distraught Mikasa, a disgusted Jean, and a more monstrous than usual looking Eren with his face covered in what you assume is titan matter. You can’t stop your own horrified grimace. “What happened?”

“Hange,” Mikasa mutters through gritted teeth. Behind her, Armin shakes his head, as if to tell you please don’t push it. You take his advice and take Eren’s other arm from Jean, slinging it over your shoulder. “He needs rest.”

Yeah, that much is obvious. You and Mikasa, with Armin trailing behind, help Eren in, lying him flat on what’s mostly become his recover-from-experimentation bed. As she starts trying to gently pry the disgusting stuff from his face, you close the door to the room, blocking the rest of them from seeing. Whatever happens, you doubt Eren will live it down.

Once you’ve fetched a warm bucket of water and a few sponges, the three of you begin to thoroughly clean and scrub his face. Thankfully, he’s unconscious, you’re not really sure how painful it would be if he wasn’t.

After it’s all done, you advise, “Alright, let him sleep it off. I think you and Jean are taking the next patrol, Armin.”

That’s a nice way of putting it, you know they’re taking the next patrol because you’re in charge of the patrol schedule. You tried your best to do it in the best possible way for all involved—Eren and Historia weren’t allowed to at all, Mikasa worked best with Armin or Sasha, Jean and Connie had the most fun together, and so forth. Your team creating skills could join your long list of Useful Things You Did For The Scouts in the resume you’ve been taking such pains to build up.

And as much as you find yourself comparing this squad to the new one, the companionship has been good for you. At the very least, it helps you when you miss the companionship of one person in particular. Some people might call your actions motherly. You see yourself as more of a cool older sister type.

Either way, things are slow, frustrating, and boring, but they’re peaceful.

For now.

As you absentmindedly stir a teaspoon in your cup of black tea that you don’t plan on drinking (milk doesn’t come easy in the safehouse, but you do your best to keep tea bags stocked up), the door opens. Levi’s back.

His gaze falls over to where you’re sitting, not even needing any time to adjust to the darkness inside. “How’s Eren?” he questions quietly, shrugging off his black suit.

“Alright. He woke up a bit earlier, he seemed fine.” You stand, setting the cup down to take the suit from him and drape it over your arm. “Can I get you anything, sir?”

Even now, Levi slightly grimaces at the title. With him as the superior and you as the subordinate, you never had to get used to being called anything other than your first or last name by him. But Levi had a particular preference for you calling him by name when you were alone. Something like captain or sir was a pointed reminder of where you two stood.

You’d think that he would have gotten used to it by now.

“No thanks,” is all he grunts softly, “who’s after Jean and Armin for patrol?”

“Mikasa and I are. I was just waiting for the last shift to finish before waking her.” (Although, knowing Mikasa, she’s likely already awake.)

“Switch her out. You and I can patrol.”

Not an uncommon switch, especially at night, when Levi barely sleeps anyway. “Yes, sir.”

You turn to go and inform Mikasa when a hand seizes your wrist.

After months of no intimate touch, with Levi’s fingers pressing right up against your pulse, you gasp, whipping your head around so fast you swear you hear a crack.

The captain tugs you closer, until your hand is skimming across his chest, until your heart is leaping out of your throat. There must be something wrong with you. That’s the only explanation for why there’s suddenly a heat between your legs just from this proximity when you’ve literally seen him naked multiple times.

“Lieutenant,” he whispers, tilting his head to the side to speak in your ear. You shudder—it’s too much too fast. The title, the closeness, the way he’s practically purring, for fuck’s sake. A part of you had grown so used to Levi being gentle with you that you’d forgotten that he could be incredibly fucking mean when he wanted to be.

“Y—“ Your voice gets caught in your throat, and you curse inwardly. “Yes?”

His fingers brush against your nape, pads pressing in exactly where he knows is the most sensitive spot on your skin. You whine, unable to help it, thoughts going straight back to earlier today when you’d been foolish enough to believe anyone, even you, could provide the same feelings Levi dragged from you without even trying.

He pulls back, a thread of loose hair in his hands that he discards to the side so casually that you could swear there’d been nothing at all. “Just getting that for you.”

Asshole.

“See you outside.”

And then he leaves, just like that.

Asshole.

The worst part is, you can’t even be pissed, because that little sip of water, after months of wandering in a desert for ages, has hydrated you more than drinking all the water within the walls ever could.

When you open the door and see Hange looking much more grim than usual, you already guess someone must have died. And as it turns out, you’re right.

Pastor Nick, killed in the dark of the night, without any wall to pray to for mercy.

Hange tells you everything, from how his nails were ripped off—your own nails dig into your palm, as if to reaffirm that they’re still there—to how the ones “investigating” the matter are the most likely culprits. There’s a certain fume to Hange’s words that is more than her usual passion, bleeding into true anger.

All this confirms what you’ve been nervous about for months. The government, specifically, the Military Police, is after the Scouts. There’s something deeper at work here, you realize, as Levi voices the same opinion out loud, but you also recognize that not all the Scouts are responsible for this, and yet all of them are going to pay for it. This is a well placed kick to the regiment that has been a thorn in the military’s side ever since it was created.

The door bursts open. “Captain Levi, sir!” Nifa walks in hurriedly, making you stand. “I have a message from Commander Erwin. I went to tell him about Pastor Nick, but he gave me this and sent me off.”

Levi’s eyes scan over the note she’s handed him, and then, “Get your gear, now. We’re leaving.”

He hands you the note as everyone stands, rushing to obey without any further questions, detecting the urgency of the matter. It’s only a few sentences, but the one that stands out most is the last.

They’re coming.

You swallow, but give the note to Hange and go to collect your own gear, making sure to grab essentials on the way. Then you fill everyone’s packs with some non-perishables and toss them on the table one by one for them to collect. Luckily, the squad is speedy, and you make it out of the not so safe safehouse in time to see MPs break down the door from a comfortable distance away.

“The bastards,” Hange mutters under her breath, “with a freeze on Scout activity, who’s to say what would happen if Wall Rose was breached right now?”

Levi explains the situation to the others, finishing with the MP’s orders. “We’re to hand over Eren and Historia.”

Eren and Historia, clearly the centerpieces of whatever conspiracy this is turning out to be. Just what is the government doing, and how long have they been keeping everyone else in the dark?

“Captain, I didn’t have time to tell you, but some MPs came for the commander right after I left him.”

From the way she says it, you realize it’s a nice way of saying that Erwin has been placed under arrest. “What, like he’s some kind of criminal?” Hange growls.

The conversation you had with the commander a few months ago replays in your head, and you find yourself surprisingly relating to Hange’s anger. If there’s anything he should be arrested for, not forking over two children shouldn’t be one of them.

Hange and Levi figure out the next course of action quickly, as you keep both eyes trained on the MPs searching the house. As one of them leaves the house, you see a tiny crumpled rose in one of their hands that you recognize from a piece of jewelry you’d kept stashed under your bed.

Julia had gifted you those right before you left home for the first time.

Whatever. Not the most valuable thing you own, right? Yeah, they were just earrings.

Hange heads out first, leaving everyone besides Moblit with Levi Squad. It’ll be a bit of a trip to Trost, but at least there’s a plan.

(You don’t miss Jean’s irritated twitch when he hears it, though.)

“Any chance we can get some intel from Shackel?” Levi questions as everyone starts moving.

“Oh, that’s a real funny joke. There’s no way.” Millie making your life easier? Not only would going to Stohess be dangerous, but you’re not even sure that she’d actually help. Not that she’d arrest you, or turn you in—but you know that if she were to come and ask you to hand over Eren, you wouldn’t do it either. Comrades before camaraderie, or whatever the phrase was. She has her code, you have yours.

“We won’t waste our time, then. You’ll be with Hange’s squad. Trail the wagon that Eren and Historia are in, don’t let it out of your sight.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll meet up with you once someone’s taken the bait. Alert me immediately if something goes wrong.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Should it come down to it, you fight your way out of the situation.”

“Yes.” You breathe. “Sir.”

“We’ll see you soon, Captain.” Nifa salutes to him. As per usual, he doesn’t respond in kind, but he nods at her before you set off.

In your head, you imagine he wishes you good luck.

As it turns out, following a cart discreetly is a task that is equal parts easy and difficult. Easy because the cart moves slowly, due to the crowd. Difficult, because due to the same crowd, it’s next to impossible to be discreet. With Keiji driving the cart and Abel on the roof opposite from you, you and Nifa choose to settle down on a rooftop you can see the whole crowd from (a place where they hopefully won’t see you too).

It’d be real nice if the crowd parted and actually let the cart move. The longer Eren and Historia stay in Trost, the less their chances are of getting out unscathed, and the more on edge you feel.

“All clear,” Nifa mutters. She signals to Abel, who sends the same message back. “See anything, Lieutenant?”

“No. Clear on my end too.” Nifa confirms this to Abel, before the two of you lean back against separate roofs, sighing simultaneously.

“The king just had to have his coronation anniversary today.”

“On the anniversary of his coronation?” She chuckles as you grin wryly. “I think that’s how it’s supposed to go, unfortunately.”

“Yeah, unfortunately for us.”

There’s silence for a few moments. From where he’s driving the cart, Keiji scratches the back of his ear. Just a few more minutes.

“(F/N),” Nifa speaks up again, “how are you holding up? We haven’t had the chance to talk in a while, I’ve been meaning to check up on you.”

“Have you?” For some reason, you’re surprised.

“Yeah. After…you know. The 57th.”

“Oh.” You’re not sure why, but the question doesn’t depress you like it does when someone else mentions it. Much like Millie, Nifa is different because she was actually there, she knew them as actual people and not just as the indestructible Levi Squad. You want to say, “I’m okay, but…”

Nifa leans forward, putting her hand over your arm. “But?”

“But…” Taking a deep breath, you continue. “Do you ever feel like we’re cursed?” Your fingers curl into your palm, meeting the eyes of a woman who you’ve known for years and, due to your shared experiences, feel like you’ve known even longer. “The 101st, I mean. I know that so many of the top ten joined the Scouts since Wall Maria had just fallen, but…it’s not normal for us to die like this when we’re supposed to be so skilled, is it? Petra, Gunther…”

“Stephen,” Nifa murmurs quietly.

Some wounds heal. That one never seems to. Every time, the same painful feeling in your stomach, like you’re seeing him get eaten all over again.

“I agree,” she says firmly, “it’s not normal. But like you said, so many of us—what, six, seven?—we joined the Scouts, which isn’t normal either. I—I don’t think we’re cursed, I think…I think that we’re brave. Besides,” Nifa smiles, “some of us are still alive and kicking. You, me, Rashad, Ricky, Jack…” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at the last name, and it makes you laugh quietly.

“Yeah.” Then, with more conviction, “Yeah, you’re right.” You hold her wrist against your palm then, remembering what she’d said once. ”All of us are one matching set, right?”

Her eyes shine, lost in the same memory you are. “That we are.”

Focusing your attention back on the cart, you breathe out steadily. You hope that Jean and Armin are okay, and that the plan is going the way Levi intended.

Speaking of which, he drops down next to you. “Captain,” Nifa greets.

“Well?”

“The road’s crowded, but I’ve seen nothing unusual. It’s not far to Commander Pyxis’ from here, so I think we’re good, but how’s the body double mission?”

“A success.” Both you and Nifa turn to him with furrowed brows.

“You don’t seem very pleased about that.”

Levi’s eyes become just slightly sharper as he surveys the cart. “I’m not.”

Is he saying that it’s been too easy? From that, you conclude that Jean and Armin were never in any real danger and are likely either already safe or getting to safety now. But that should be a relief, unless…unless…

It’s a trap? Are you playing into the MP’s hands? No, there’s no way they’d expect you to just have soldiers that could serve as body doubles. And if this was a trap, wouldn’t you all already be exposed?

“Nifa.” Levi’s shoulder touches yours. “You’ve heard of Kenny the Ripper?”

Immediately, your senses are on alert. What is he trying to say?

“That mass murderer in the capital?” Nifa sounds surprised, but not overly concerned. “The one who slit the throats of over a hundred MPs? Of course, but I always thought he was just an urban legend.”

No, you have the privilege of knowing that he wasn’t a legend. But, as Levi had told you one night, as he stroked your hair, he must have been caught and executed by now, and that’s why no more MPs were dying. At the time, the reveal had been more jarring than scary. The man who raised Levi, the one who left him, that Kenny, was the same Kenny that you were warned about whenever you tried to leave your house too late at night. The fact that Levi had been raised by a serial killer, something he’d admitted to you in a long conversation post nightmare, had just been something that made you hold him closer so that you could kiss over his eyelids softly.

He was real, but was is the key word. Kenny the Ripper is dead. But why would Levi bring him up, unless he suspects that…maybe he’s not?

“Captain,” you start, “what—”

Levi moves all of a sudden—before you can blink, he has his arm wrapped around you crushing you into him as he shouts, “Nifa!”

Bang.

Red splotches splash onto your cheek as you stare, wide-eyed, at where a woman had just been sitting.

“Ni…fa?”

You’re being bullied back behind the roof, but you can’t tear your eyes away. Nifa was just there. Nifa and you had been talking not even a minute ago, about how you couldn’t possibly be cursed.

And now she’s lying there in a mess of her own blood? That…can’t be right…

Another loud bang. From across the street, Abel falls as well, down to the street.

But the shooter is on the same roof as you. If they had shot Abel, he would have fallen the opposite way.

“Long time, Levi.” The unfamiliar voice brings your attention to how much you’re shaking. Levi’s grip on you is so tight you feel like you’re choking. “Still a runt or have you grown some?”

Who…?

There’s a series of whizzes, and for a second you think the squad has come to help. But the people who rise out from above buildings on all sides are most certainly not people you know. They are people with guns, guns that are definitely not standard MP rifles nor anything that would be useful in a fight against titans.

You’re surrounded. Nifa and Abel are dead. You’re surrounded.

A cheer that rattles you like a war cry sounds from above you as a man jumps, guns trained on both you and Levi. “Nope!” he crows. “Don’t look like you’ve changed much at all, boy.”

It clicks all at once. This is—

“Kenny!” Levi bellows.

He throws his blade with full force, a shot that would kill you, would kill most people, but the man swings it away like child’s play and raises his gun.

You and Levi both jump into motion at the same time. He throws his cape above both of you, throwing off the shot. Meanwhile, you reel back, terrified out of your goddamn mind, and kick him square in his chest.

It sends him toppling over the edge, and you on the opposite side. With the blood rushing in your ears, you don’t even hear the familiar whizz to confirm that Levi didn’t hit the ground, but right now you can’t scale over the building and check because there is someone hot on your tail.

Someone very, very hot on your tail.

Someone who has no intentions of letting you go back and help the captain.

“Dammit!” You curse out loud, soaring above the streets of Trost as your new fan fires a shot that just barely misses you. “Everyone get inside!”

Thankfully, many people listen. Gunshot sounds can be pretty convincing, after all.

Okay, okay, you have to—duck!—think. You have to get to Levi, no, to the squad, as fast as possible. You know these streets, you’ve spent so much time in Trost, you know where to go.

Under this bridge. Over this building. Around the tower to circle back—shit!

The woman chasing you raises both her guns and shoots at you. Reeling back, you toss yourself straight on your back mid air. The bullets speed so close to you that you’re sure they take at least a few locks of your hair with them.

How are you supposed to fight someone who has guns with measly swords? Trick question, you can’t. The only choice you have is to immobilize her before she can kill you.

With a place in mind, you take off again, with your pursuer right behind.

If not for her weapons, you’d have the advantage. You’re more fluid and fast in the air, although you suspect she’s only slightly slowed because of the gear she’s wearing. Too bad—you can’t—fucking—take a closer look.

Just a little more. Just a little further, you can’t die yet.

Up ahead, right beyond an outdoor cafe, is a construction site that you are confident enough to believe you can get through. But no one who doesn’t have any time to prepare should do the same. With any luck, she’ll hit something and crash, likely bringing down the entire site with her. You can feel bad about the loss of all that hard work later, for now the fact that there’s no workers on site is quite enough for you.

Just to confirm she’s not going to pull another fast one on you, you turn to look, only to see her gun raised once more.

You almost scoff. Even before she fires, you know there’s no way that shot can hit, her aim is way off.

It’s right after she fires that you realize her intention.

Snap, goes your right wire.

Before the blade can leave your arm, you decide to do some damage too. Throwing it as hard as you can while you fall, you watch as it forces one gun out of her hand and makes her drop the other in surprise.

A woman screams as you barrel in her direction, barely rolling out of the way before your remaining wire throws you down to the spot where she was just standing and then throws you up again.

Ah, shit, this is gonna hurt.

With a shriek of, “Please get out of the way!” you hurtle straight towards the tables of the outdoor cafe, gripping onto your single wire with all your might before crash landing, hard. What you think is mashed potatoes spreads over your shoes as you skid, and you only have enough time to outstretch your arms to catch yourself as you topple over the table and flip back up, gasping. That was all dance lessons, cadet training be damned.

As expected, people run. Good, good, you can’t worry about them when the woman chasing you has landed just a couple hundred feet away, gun less but no less dangerous.

Your back touches the wall. There’s no hiding spots in sight.

You look to the sides. Civilians fleeing in all directions, some watching, still unsure. You look up, where there wouldn’t be a clear escape route even if you did have functioning gear. Finally, you look straight ahead, at the assailant making her way towards you.

After a pause, your eyes widen.

“Traute?” you whisper in disbelief.

There’s no mistaking it. That dangerously blonde hair, and a pair of the most focused eyes you’ve ever seen. She looks as uptight as she always did in the Cadet Corp, whether she was training or simply relaxing in the barracks. The guns you knocked out of her hands (and probably dented) contribute nothing to her frightening demeanor.

She stands like someone in control.

“Hello, (F/N).” From the table next to her, she picks up a knife. “I’m here to kill you.”

“Oh, is that all?” And here you thought you were in trouble. “And you’re going to all this trouble just for me?”

“Don’t be silly, we have orders to dispose of anyone who gets in our way.” Traute rolls her eyes, twirling the knife in her hand. You keep shifting your gaze between her face and what could easily become a volatile projectile. “Kenny’s hardly concerned with Captain Levi’s little whore.”

You scoff, quickly darting your eyes to confirm everyone has evacuated. “Oh yeah, I’ve never heard that one before. Which tabloid do you keep up with, Caven? Didn’t take you for much of a gossip.”

She doesn't answer, and for some reason, that makes you angrier.

And you have every right to be angry. She’s following a man who—

“Do you remember that one night, Traute?” Because you do, even if it’s a little hazy. “Me, you and Nifa went out to get drinks. I was surprised that you wanted to come, but she wasn’t. She said, everyone needs to wind down sometimes. And now…” You swallow the lump in your throat. “She’s lying on a rooftop, dead. Because this serial killer boss of yours, he killed her.”

Traute stares at you impassively for a few seconds, while you scope out the nearest weapon, much more focused on the knife in her hand and how she’s tossing it up and down carelessly.

“We are on opposite sides of a war,” she says, as though she’s explaining a textbook concept, “Should I feel sorry that my side attacked first?”

With a growl, you step closer. “You should feel sorry,” you seethe, eyes falling to the closest knife to you, “that you’re responsible for the murder of your own comrade.”

Traute moves, but luckily, you move faster.

Both your blades meet with a cutting slash right in the middle. The knives scratch against each other painfully, before she reels back and starts slashing at you with everything she’s got.

It’s all you can do to parry her attacks with your own maneuvers.

Both of you grunt as you slash at each other, aware that this is very different from playing steal the dagger or doing a little practice sparring session. You’re good, but she matches you, and you recall with a snarl that even though you ranked second, she ranked third, and for good reason.

A horrible thought strikes you. If you’re struggling this much against her, what’s happening with Levi?

It’s only a second of distraction, but it’s a rookie move regardless, and Traute takes her opening. She grabs your arm and twists it towards you, ramming you back into the wall. Gasping, you try to pull your own knife from where it’s threatening to cut into your neck, while your other hand grips hers above your head.

You’re at a deadlock.

She doesn’t even smirk victoriously, nor does she look bored. Her face is blank save for the exertion as she bears down on you, literally trying to kill you. And her expression makes what she says next even worse.

“You accuse me of being responsible for a comrade’s death, but I’m not the one who lead four of them straight to it.”

PetraEldOluoGunther—

Lips parting, your grip loosens, just a little bit.

Your own blade presses up right under your chin.

“Caven!” someone shouts. “We’ve secured them! Boss says head out!”

This time, she’s the one who makes the rookie move, turning to look at whoever just delivered the message. You aim a well placed knee to her stomach and duck under her arm, dropping the knife but regaining the space to move around.

“Hey!” the person from above shouts, but Traute must call them off because you manage to run away without any bullet hitting you. Clearly, recovering her and making sure she’s not left vulnerable is more important.

You run. You run faster than you’ve run in your entire life. There’s no doubt in your mind that if they sent one person after you, they sent an army after Levi. And what the other person said—we’ve secured them. They must mean Eren and Historia, the real ones. Doesn’t that mean your squad was defeated? Doesn’t that mean Levi’s dead?

How could you not have been there? What the hell is wrong with you? If something happened to him, if he got overwhelmed, if he didn’t make it…you’d have broken your promise to Erwin, and more importantly, you’d have failed at protecting the one person you had to protect above all else, whose life was worth far, far more than your own—

Levi’s not dead. Levi’s strong, but he’s not invincible, and if the man who literally taught him everything he knows is the one going after him, maybe he doesn’t have the usual advantage that he always does. Maybe he needs you there, to—how did Erwin describe it—take the bullet for him.

No. They’ll be at the rendezvous point. You’ll get there, and they will be there. He will be there.

Because if he’s not, you don’t know what you’ll do.

First you hear the sound of retching, which in itself makes you nauseous as well, and only serves to send off alarm bells in your head when you see who it is that’s throwing up. It’s Armin, bent over as he empties the contents of his stomach into the water.

The only time you puke is when you’re disturbed. When you’ve just seen someone die.

“Mikasa!” You rush over to where she’s rubbing Armin’s back. “Where’s—“

“They took him,” she answers before you can finish, and for a second you think she’s referring to Levi, but the large, fearful look in her eyes tells you otherwise, “Both of them. They’re gone.”

You still. “And what about the rest of the squad?”

Even though you didn’t say his name, Mikasa does. “Captain Levi is inside with the others. We’re all…” Her gaze casts over Armin, who’s pale and shivering. “Unharmed.”

She keeps her back to you as she comforts Armin, and so she misses the sag of your shoulders. Thankfully, because Eren and Krista were still taken, and you have no reason to feel so relieved. Just because Levi survived, it shouldn’t mean…

Who are you kidding? As nasty as it is, as much as you’re worried for Eren and Krista, you can’t deny that you prioritized Levi’s life over theirs, over your own.

Trying to shake off the gut feeling telling you that you’re a horrible person for that, you place a hand on Armin’s back, worried. “What happened?”

“He—“

“I killed someone,” Armin lets out in a hoarse, shaky voice, “Another person. I haven’t even killed a titan before, and I…I…”

“You had to,” Mikasa insists forcefully, “She was going to shoot Jean, what else could have done?”

Armin doesn’t answer. He looks at you, ill-faced, and asks, “Have you ever killed someone, Lieutenant?”

You’re not sure why the question sends shivers down your back. Especially when the answer is no, you haven’t. At least not someone that wasn’t trying to eat you. A human being, one who hasn’t been turned into a titan? Never.

“The captain told us not to hesitate. To kill them before they could kill us. Has he ever asked you to do that?”

No, because a need for such a thing has never come up.

Pushing his hair back, you wipe the grime from Armin’s face. “I’ve never killed anyone. But that doesn’t make me any better or worse than you, okay? Like Mikasa said, you did what you had to do.”

With that, you walk inside, where you seek out Levi right away. His eyes widen briefly when he sees you, but it’s a quick motion and no one else catches it.

You two meet in the middle of the room. You want to reach out for him, to stroke his hair and crush him against you, ask him if he’s alright. But you can’t do any of those things, because you’re standing in front of the squad and it would be…unprofessional, to put it mildly.

Before you can even tell him what happened, though, Levi takes both your hands in his and pushes your sleeves up slightly, inspecting them for injuries. Your stomach leaps, but you shake your head. “I’m fine. What about you?”

“Fine,” he repeats back, but the red stain on his grey shirt says otherwise.

“Sasha.” You don’t look away from him. “Can you stitch the captain up, please?”

At the very least, Levi doesn’t protest. He wordlessly goes to her and removes his shirt, and it’s only when you turn away from everyone and release a long, deep breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding does the exchange of reports begin. Eventually, Mikasa and Armin come back in and give their accounts as well, recalling how easily Kenny Squad had snatched Eren and Historia. And as if their ruthlessness isn’t terrifying enough, it doesn’t help that all of you are hopelessly in the dark.

Torture is barbaric. That much you’ve decided definitively. Not that it’s a groundbreaking statement or anything, but you’ve never felt it as deeply as you do now, as Levi and Hange torture the absolute shit out of the MP that killed Pastor Nick.

He doesn’t talk, and all they do is torture him even more.

You’re just relieved that no one asked you to do any of it, or even stay in the room to watch. Being right outside the room is difficult enough. Knowing what they’re doing, even though you know and agree with their reasons, is just…just…

Taking a look at your fingernails, you imagine how painful it would be if someone strapped you down, yanked your hand up, and—

You press your fingers to your mouth and shut your eyes tightly at the thought. Then you think about what you would do if it was Levi who was strapped down instead and the fear multiplies in on itself.

It also leads you down the path, wondering if you could ever be the one who does the torturing. Could you bear it? Could you go through with it? Would a part of you find some pleasure in it?

The answer should be a definite no. You don’t want to torture anyone.

Except, a name and face does pop in your head.

Traute Caven.

Traute, in the 101st with you. Traute, your comrade. Traute, who always seemed cold but never like a cold-blooded killer. Traute who should fucking pay for what she allowed to happen to Nifa.

God, Nifa. Nifa, Abel and Keiji, all dead—all given no time to prepare. Right after Nifa had just said that she didn’t think you were cursed. It didn’t support her words, that the top ten’s death count had now gone from three to four. Who’d be the next to go? Jack? Rashad? You? Traute?

If she was in front of you right now, you think you’d kill her.

And a very small voice asks if it’s really because of what she did, or because of what she said to you, what you’ve been saying to yourself since the 57th. That you, not Annie Leonhart, killed your squad by giving them orders to fight.

You shake your head and take a deep breath, ready for a long night. This, truly, is the real torture.

“If the government has a titan of their own, they’ll use it to eat Eren.”

Mikasa moves immediately, but Levi stops her, ordering you all to prepare to leave. With all the information you have now, recovering Eren and Historia is the only way to succeed.

Sorry, recovering the rightful queen and the guy they planned to feed to someone to steal his titan powers is the only way to succeed. Phrasing it like that gives it a better sense of urgency.

Turns out, with the captive MP, emotional torture worked much more efficiently.

“Major!” you call to Hange before she leaves. “I—your squad—”

While the same amount of light that was in Hange’s eyes just a couple months ago has vanished, she still wraps her hand around your thumb and murmurs, “I’m glad you’re alive, (F/N).”

You bid her good luck and she’s off, Moblit right behind.

Your squad isn’t far behind. Once everyone has the bare necessities, you move into the forest, mapping out as remote a path as you can to the Reiss estate. Armin, ever the quick thinker, points a location out to you and Levi on the map. “It’s a good place to set up camp, and this way we can gather some information in the morning. After all, we have no confirmation that Eren and Historia are actually at the Reiss estate. There’ll be MPs patrolling that we can question if we manage to get one alone, but since it’s far enough from our destination, it shouldn’t be crawling with them either.”

“Smart,” you tell him, smiling slightly. Levi grunts in agreement.

So after walking for a couple hours (and learning that Sasha can apparently sleep and walk simultaneously), you clear an area to set up camp. Mikasa is the last of the gang to fall asleep, and you see her fight it every step of the way before her basic needs finally take over.

From where he’s keeping guard, Levi chances a look over at you. “You have to catch a couple of hours before we move again. I don’t need anyone passing out on the way.”

You stand, taking a blade Hange managed to disconnect from the ODM wire as you do. “I’m not sleepy. I’ll stand guard with you.”

“I’m not asking.”

“I am.” There’s a quiet desperation in your tone. “Please let me stand guard with you.”

“So that you can be dead on your feet when I need you?”

“So that—” You bite your tongue, realizing that I’m so fucking scared the man who raised you is going to put a hole through your head is not going to convince him. “So that I can protect you.”

Fuck. That’s not much better.

Levi’s gaze turns sharp. “Protect me?” When you don’t do anything but stare, guilty, like a troublemaker caught, he pushes, “Who the fuck asked you to protect me?”

“No one! I’m in your squad, it’s part of my job description, Levi.”

“You’re lying.” His eyes narrow. “Don’t insult my intelligence. Should’ve known Erwin had a reason for talking to you in private.”

Your grip tightens on the blade handle. “No. I mean, yes, he—he did say something, but that’s not why I’m doing this.”

“Doing what? What exactly are you going to do if someone attacks us right now?”

As though he knows what you’re going to do before you do, Levi grips your chin before you can look away from him.

Such pretty grey eyes. How horrible they’d look lifeless.

Once, it was possible, if difficult, to look into them and lie. Now, you couldn’t even imagine it.

“I’ll buy you time.” You’re stone-faced, because you mean every word you say. “I’ll serve as a distraction. while you escape”

Levi flinches a little, as though your confession physically sliced his skin. “Is that what you are now? Just another body?”

He knows your every fear, your every motivation. What haunts you at night and what wakes you in the mornings. Your mother may be the only one who can make you cry, but if Levi wished, he could completely destroy you. But it’s also the opposite. It means he can build you up again, if only you let him.

Only, you refuse to do that, because you know, deep down, you don’t deserve it. What you are, what your being is, is…

“Captain,” you breathe softly, “growing up, I never believed in anything. my mother told me the church of the walls was ridiculous, and perhaps that’s one of the only good pieces of advice she gave me. So I’ve never believed in any God, or holy spirits, or the stones of our walls, or anything else. I’ve never dedicated myself to anyone.” Bringing your palms together, you tilt your head forward, as though you’re begging, or praying. “So I want you to know that you’re my first, and I completely dedicate myself. Not as a woman, but as a soldier. My heart, my soul, my body, it belongs to you in every way possible. My life is yours, Levi. I’m yours, I’ve been yours, and I’ll be yours until I die. Let me protect you, please.”

There’s silence as the two of you look at each other. You know that this is the closest you’ve ever come to saying it. The word you both know not to say.

It can’t be that Levi doesn’t know you love him. Still, it’s something different altogether to say it like this.

His hands pry yours apart, before guiding one of your hands up to your cheek. He can’t touch you, or you won’t let him, or something like that, so he lets your fingers brush over your cheek in his stead. “If we weren’t a few feet away from the rest,” he starts, “I’d pull you here and tell you what utter bullshit that is.”

You’re despondent. You want him to. Need him to. You don’t care about what you said earlier, you want him to touch every part of you in whichever way he wants, because everytime he does, you’re safe, loved and everything in between.

“I don’t want you to do any of this. You know that, right? This isn’t what I wanted from you, ever.”

Maybe if you could be in his arms when he said it, you’d let him convince you.

“I’ll be standing guard tonight.” You straighten, feeling your heart drop as your hands disconnect. “With you, Captain, if you’ll allow it.”

Levi seeks something in your expression. “And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll accept your punishment sentence in the morning.”

His gaze remains on you for a second, hard and strong.

Finally, as he looks away, you hear him pretend to relent. “That won’t be necessary. Permission granted.”

You whisper, “Thank you, sir.”

And then you stand, right by the man you love—who loves you back, possibly more than you know—and keep a dutiful watch for the rest of the night.

#attack on titan #aot x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #satc #superior #valkyrie stories

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