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moonyswriting · 3 years

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Pride

Happy Pride Month everyone! Whether you queer or questioning, closeted or out, I am so proud of you, you are valid and perfect! Remember that you never have to come out if you don’t want to. You’re not lying to anyone if you don’t. You don’t owe them to come out. Only do it if you want to. Also remember that labels can stay forever or can change and both is perfectly normal. You're fantastic the way you are. <3

So, I managed to write a pride fic for the first day of pride month! yay me. I hope you like it :)

Thank you for the idea @moonofthenight

Characters by @lumosinlove

When Pascal came into their living room it had never looked more colourful, but it had also not looked this messy in a long time. There was tape on all four sides of the table, paper and little paper cut outs all over the floor and in the middle of everything, all his four children, looking like deer in the headlights.

“What happened?”, he asked slowly. There would be a reasonable explanation for all of this, he was sure. Celeste had probably helped and they would clean everything back up in no time, leaving no trace of a mess before the team came over for dinner tonight.

Adele shuffled over looking at the floor. “Um,” she stared before glazing back at her siblings, who nodded at her encouragingly. “So, we decided to make some things for the others. You know, since you’re having that Pride Party tonight? We thought we’d make little gifts for the team.”

Oh, Pascal’s heart was already a puddle. “You-”, he stared, but couldn’t continue. He had questioned a lot if he should have raised his children differently, more open to the rainbow or attractions and genders (or lack thereof) that was out there, but this made him feel like he and Celeste had at least done some things right.

Pascal only realised he hadn’t properly said anything yet when Katie rushed towards him, hugging his hip. “Please don’t be mad. I promise, we’ll clean it all up. Mama said she’d help us!”, the big eyes of his youngest daughter stared up at him, guilty, but hopeful.

“I’m not mad, mon chou.”, picking her up, he turned towards the other three, still standing in front of him. “Not at any of you. This is an incredible idea! The team will love them. Thank you so much, it’s really thoughtful.” Leaning down, he placed a kiss on each of his childrens’ foreheads, including Katie’s before setting her down to get back to the others. Celeste walked through the door the next moment, flowers of all colours in her hand.

“You found our little pride squad then?”she asked, walking past him and into the kitchen, probably to cut off the ends of the stems. “Don’t worry, I’ll help them clean up and we’ll be done before any of your teammates even leave their houses.”

His wife knew him too well. He hated when other people visited them and their house was messy. Of course there had been times where he couldn’t really keep it clean with four toddlers running around, but he still always tried and his family knew that and helped him. It wasn’t really that it bothered him that visitors could see that they were possibly not clean people, it was just the principle. He thought it should that they were prepared and anticipated someone’s visit. He never wanted them to think it was a bad time to visit because he would eventually excuse the mess. He always wanted everyone to feel welcome.

And that’s what tonight would be about. Making his team feel always welcomed and loved and accepted.

Celeste returned back to their dining room without the flowers, kissing Pacal’s cheek and then turning towards their children. “Did you show him what you made already?” they shook their heads but quickly climbed up onto chairs and sorted through the things they had made. “They’re all really cute, I already saw some of them.” Celeste whispered giddily into his ear, as excitement bloomed in his chest and they walked over to look at the crafts.

“Here!” Katie waved a piece of paper in the air and Pascal walked around the table to look at what she had made. SHe beamed up at him as she explained, “This is for Tremzy! And Harzy and Knutty! It’s a card and I drew Lo, Leo and Finn on the front, see!” The man took the card in his hands. There were three stick figures on it, the smallest with brown hair, the next one with bright red hair and the last, taller than the other with yellow hair. In the back there were blue, red and black dots. “Why did you use those colours, ma petite?” He did have an idea, but with the many coloured pens on the table it could have just been a coincidence.

He could see Katie look over to Adele and Marc, before her eyes met his again. “Del and Marc said that those are the colours when you have more than one love and Logan has Finn and Leo, so they said I should use those. They look good together right?” Pascal could see that he wasn’t the only one close to tears after glazing over at Celeste smiling brightly. “Yes, Katie, it looks beautiful. Lo, Leo and Finn will love it! Adele, Marc, thank you for helping your sister. I know that this will mean a lot to Logan.” then as if he couldn’t help but to add, “I’m also very proud of you for looking up pride flag colours. I’m really happy you're informing yourself about these topics. They’re important.”

They all smiled at him. Pascal went over to Louis next. “I made two! This one is a card for Olli and Del and Marc also helped me with colours, so it's black, grey, white and this really nice purple that Katie gave me. It didn’t really match the photo, but I liked it better than the really dark one. Do you think he’ll mind?” The fact that his youngest son actually looked concerned staring down at his work had a tear spilling over. He let out a wet chuckle. “Non, je pense qu’il va l'adorer, c’est parfait. For who is the green one?” Louis pulled it out from under his other one and now Pascal could see it was not just green. There were black, grey, white and purple stripes on it too. “It’s for Reg! See, it’s got these stripes and then I drew this heart above it, cause even though he doesn’t want a boyfriend like Siri, he still gets all the love he needs from me and Siri and you and Re and the rest of the team!” Celeste came over and placed a kiss on his cheek, “He loves you too, mon lapinou. They look amazing.”

He walked over to his older son, he didn’t know if he could be any prouder of them. “ I made one for Kasey, Nat and Alex.” Marc stated as he handed his father one of the cards he had made. There were three heads on it, one with long blond hair and hoop earrings, one with light brown hair to the shoulders and one with dark red hair, freckles filling up more of his face than the light pink his son had used for all their skin tones. Pascal was about to compliment it, when Marc gave him another one. “This one is for Nado and Kuny. I made it full of hearts in pan and bi colours, because you mentioned that once and I really hope it’s right.” before Pascal could even think his next thought a stack of cards was placed in his hands. “And then for some of then we didn’t know, but we didn’t want them to feel left out or asume, so I made some rainbow ones for Pots, Talker, Sergei, Timmers, Cookie, Bluey, Ringer, Volley, Wrangler, Sunny and Foxy.”

Pascal was a bit shaken, not only that his son even remembered everyone of his teammates, without missing a single one, but at him having crafted every single one of them a rainbow card. “They will all love them, I’m sure. They look incredible.”

He saw Adele look down at her cards and moving them slightly out of view. Frowning, he walked over to her, “Did you also make something, ma colombe?” She nodded, pulling out one of her cards and holding it up for him to see. It was beautiful. She had glued blue magazine cut outs on the top of the cards, which got lighter til they reached a white in the middle and to green ones at the bottom. Over it there was a heart which read “Some hockey players marry their PT, get over it” He didn’t know how she had thought of that, but it was true and funny and so Adele, Pascal had no choice but to love it.

“These are all perfect. Thank you so, so much for making them, they’ll all love them I’m sure. We can tell them to all sit down in the living room so you can give them their cards later, sounds good?” They all nodded, seemingly happy with the idea. “Now let’s clean up before they come here and don’t recognize the place, eh?” All of them nodded as they got up, Celeste telling them where to start and how to clean it.

Pascal moved to the kitchen with the tray of now empty glasses Celeste had no doubt gotten them earlier, when he heard something behind him. Once he had carefully placed down everything he turned around to see Adele standing in the kitchen, arms behind her back. He waited for her to speak for only a moment until she did. “So, you saw that we made cards for everyone, because they’re all great and we should let them know we love and support them, right?” Pascal nodded, letting her continue, “But there’s one more card I made,” Pascal had counted before, his children hadn’t forgotten a single one of his teammates, he had no clue what that last card could be for. “because it’s important that they know they’re loved right?” she continued, “that’s a really important part of all of this. So,” she slowly pulled out a card from behind her back, “this one is for exactly that. Just because someone’s not queer or questioning, doesn’t mean they’re not important this month. It’s not the main focus of it, of course, but having allies is a big part of being able to be proud of who they are for some people. I wanted to thank you for that. I could have gotten some homophobic dad like some of my classmates, but I’m really, really glad I got you.”

She handed him the card she had made, similar to the collage of magazines but in black and white stripes with a rainbow A covering it. He couldn’t help the wetness that gathered in his eyes again. And here he had thought the emotional stuff wouldn’t be until the team arrived. He walked forward and hugged his oldest daughter. “Thank you so, so much,” he whispered, since he didn’t trust himself with anything else to come out anywhere close to evenly, “Thank you, ma petite. I am so proud to have you as my daughter. You’re the best children I could have ever asked for.”

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nyxravessnow · 3 years

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Review 2021 Kuromyu – Namashitsuji Secrets of the Public School Arc

Disclaimer: This is not an unbiased review so please proceed knowing that it is heavily opinionated.

2nd Disclaimer: I have never seen the anime or read the manga of Black Butler. All of my thoughts are based on comparisons to previous musicals and comments from fans about how accurate their portrayal is. I understand this may turn some people off my review which is understandable but I think an important thing for shows is how accessible they can be for people who don’t know the source material.

FREE OF SPOILERS

Overall rating: 8/10

Acting – 8/10

Music – 8/10 (I took an average of my song scores)

Ease of understanding – 8/10

Direction – 7/10

Overall Summary:

I think the show was excellent and showed respect to the old shows but also did quite a few new things. All the scenes and songs had clear thought put into them and the acting showcased these things very well. It was not quite like what I expected it was going to be like but now that I’ve seen it, I can’t quite think of what I expected. I think if you like 2.5D or if you like Black Butler or the actors in this show then you will enjoy the show quite a lot. It is not exactly the same as before from every standpoint apart from it being Black Butler so I would say don’t go in expecting it to be just the same.

I will move to a spoiler review under the cut but plainly, this show is very good and I think all the actors did a great job.

As I normally do I am going to give my thoughts on story, acting, songs and directing, then mention some extra stuff that I might think of at the end. I am sorry if I bring up the fact that I’m British and went to boarding school like my parents too much.

Story: The story was mostly pretty easy for me to follow, especially as a British person who knows about Cricket and boarding schools. I haven’t seen Campania so the dolls confused me a little at first but that is completely on me for not having seen the previous show. When watching I was very confused about what was going on towards the end but looking back on it that was mainly because of my migraine and not because it wasn’t clear. Scenes were set out well and the camera work was done in a way to make it very easy to follow along. But omg the cricket made me a little upset. It was super fun and all. But it was so inaccurate XD. I guess I now know the pain of people who like tennis when they watch the Prince of Tennis.

Acting: I am going to go actor by actor and give a rough overview of what I thought of them

Tateishi Toshiki as Sebastian Michaelis

I felt like we didn’t get a terribly demonic Sebastian in this show but otherwise I loved Toshi as Sebastian. He felt very elegant and reserved most of the time which contrast well with the times in which he was annoyed at Ciel. He wasn’t terribly present in a lot of the show but I did really enjoy him when he was on stage. His singing voice is excellent and I loved hearing him sing, will go into more about it later during the song summaries.

Konishi Eito as Ciel Phantomhive

I thought Eito was amazing as Ciel and he is my favourite Ciel so far. He showed Ciel’s switch between cute and normal so well and it really made me think about how good of an actor Ciel is. I don’t know how he did what he did to his voice but he makes himself sound like a young child with a slightly higher and scrapey voice than normal and it really makes you think that he is very young. I know many people were worried that they were casting an adult as Ciel because they wanted to sexualise him and this was not the case at all. He only showed any skin in the very first scene when in the cage and he had the sheet/robe-thing showing his shoulder. His singing voice is quite a lot mature than the previous two Ciels, for obvious reasons, and I think it really helped me enjoy his songs.

Okayama Ryousuke as Soma Asman Kadar

While I would still say I prefer Sho’s Soma, mainly bc Sho is one of my fav actors and I am biased, I really liked Ryousuke’s Soma. He was super energetic and friendly and really gave off this air of innocence as he believes Ciel’s reasoning for him to join Weston. His cricket was also very fun. His singing was pretty okay. I think this was as his singing suffered when he was trying to sing in Soma’s voice.

Ueda Kandai as Undertaker

I was honestly quite surprised how good Kandai was as Undertaker. I think his Undertaker voice got better as the show went on so I assume the reason it was less good at first was nerves. He wasn’t in it too much but I thoroughly enjoyed him in every scene he was in. I think I would love it if he learnt to sing in his Undertaker voice more but I also understand that is quite difficult so understand why he’s not doing that.

Sana Hiroki as Edgar Redmond

I thought he was very good as Edgar and carried the emotion needed for the more serious scenes, like the flashback about Derek, very well. He definitely emphasised the queerness of Edgar and had some rather flirtatious moments with Maurice and Joanne. However, despite being flirty and not seeming to be very serious, I completely bought it when he became serious and he played the shift very well (such as in the Maurice reveal scene). His singing voice is good.

Tazuru Shogo as Herman Greenhill

I thought Shogo was really good as Herman, even if it did feel like him playing a slightly nicer version of Sanada – his character from Prince of tennis. He was my 2nd fav of the four and I always enjoyed watching him in his scenes. He played the emotion in the Derek flashback amazingly and you could really see the pain in his eyes when he realised what he had done. His voice was really perfect for Herman.

Satonaka Masamichi as Lawrence Bluewer

I really loved Masa as Lawrence. I don’t know how accurate it is as he didn’t seem very sweet from what I read on his wiki page, but his Lawrence seemed quite tsundere. I loved his bit in the Cricket match when he was talking about wanting to win in his very last year. He also just seemed quite cute. I really enjoyed his singing.

Goto Dai as Gregory Violet

I LOVED Dai as Gregory. He definitely gave off the aura of being weird but he also seemed very sweet to Cheslock and the two actors had really good chemistry. He was really cute in his Cricket gear. He was by far my favourite of the prefects. Despite seeming cute and sweet to Cheslock he definitely retained the aura of mystery and you could never tell what he was thinking. His singing voice is pretty good but he didn’t have many solo bits.

Furuya Yamato as Clayton

While at the beginning I did get an intelligent stuck up vibe from Yamato as Clayton that kinda died away as the show went on and he became much more of a dork. I dunno how much of this is in character but to me it felt slightly like Yamato playing himself. As I think Yamato is an excellent actor, I was a little bit disappointed to see his character change quite a bit but I don’t know how much was him and how much was the direction. Since Yamato is known for comedy and his adlibbing I wouldn’t be surprised if this was actually just direction and the route they decided to go down for this character, hence why they scouted Yamato. I know his singing voice may not appeal to everyone, but I really like it.

Nakajima Takuto as Edward Midford

Takuto was very good as Edward and I think he played his straightforwardness quite well. I love Takuto but I don’t think Edward had much to do apart from the cricket which Takuto did very well. His singing voice is excellent.

Warning: Tsukasa is my favourite actor, and I am very biased

Taguchi Tsukasa as Maurice Cole

Tsukasa was AMAZING as Maurice. He played the changes in his character so well and even though he’s not a very nice person I felt really bad for him during his breakdown as Tsukasa’s scream was heart wrenching. When he was pretending, he felt so light and sweet and then when he was being his normal self he dropped down his voice and even changed his accent slightly as well as changing the way he would stand and walk. Ngl I was not paying too much attention to other people when he was in the scene and I don’t know if it’s just because I’m biased or because his command of the stage is that good but I really felt his stage presence. I loved the way he repeated 2 O’clock to Edgar and the others and how he mirrored the way he did it with Ciel and all the subtleties to his acting were great. He didn’t get to sing very much but he sounded really good.

Fukuzawa Yu as Cheslock

Apart from Tsukasa I think Yu was my favourite in this show. He brought so much energy to Cheslock and I don’t mean making the character energetic, just that he always has so much power and feeling behind his lines and he was so good and cool! He had good command of the stage and worked so well with Dai to be the one the stands out and the one that fades into the shadows. He mostly rapped so I don’t remember his singing voice very much.

Uchino Fuuto as Joanne Harcourt

Fuuto didn’t really stand out to me very much and I don’t think he had very much to do. His singing voice was pretty good.

Hayakawa Iori as Macmillan

He served his part in the story well and was very cute and energetic which I liked. He kinda reminded me of doll a little. His singing voice was pretty good.

Yamaguchi Kooki as Derek Arden

He wasn’t in very much of the show but he played his part very well and even though we got so little of him being unpleasant the way he played it made me hate Derek immediately. I don’t think he got any solo singing bits?

Takahashi Shunichi as Johann Agares

He filled his role very well. The most impressive thing was his falling from the stairs, I was very worried he was going to hurt himself, so I was really glad he was okay as he went from pretty high considering there were lower stairs. His singing voice was good.

Songs: I really love Yu(vague) the composer of the show and he is my favourite music composer. I think he did a really good job with the songs on the whole. I think he did well making them seem different and new yet familiar.

Opening song – 7/10

I think this song was a good opener. I wasn’t too sure about it at first, but it got better as the song went on. Toshi’s voice didn’t sound to be working with the song at first but since he sounded fine later, I think it was just his voice wavering at first from nerves so I’m excited to see what he’s like in the last show. I like how they did short recaps of the previous shows from Lycoris to Campania so the fans are caught up on what has happened, especially since it becomes important when Undertaker comes back with the dolls at the end.

2nd song, I think it’s called ‘It’s perfect black’ – 8/10

I really like this song. I think it is a nice scene setter and is very well sung by everyone. The dance works well and kinda brings Druitt’s dancing to mind with some of it. The song features the full cast and is effectively the Pawn and Sword song of this show.

Welcome to Weston song – 10/10

My first 10/10 song. I really love this song and I already can sing along to it. I love the prefects singing and that the others sing the chorus for them. (Also partly love it for its reprise but I’ll get to that later) I love how rigid and together it sounds. By that I mean that everyone is singing their lines as quite cutting and the harmonies are very crisp. Everyone is perfectly in time and there is no deviation. The rigidness shows the formality and tradition of the school which is reinforced by the students marching around the stage to get to the places. This is the case for everyone except the prefects who have more flowy lines and they walk a lot more freely showing the school’s hierarchy. I also love the prefects pushing Ciel around and surrounding him which foreshadows how he his treated.

Only Prefect Four – 9/10

I might be slightly biased as a Mankai stage fan as this song sounds so like a Mankai stage song but I love it so much. It would be 10/10 but I think their harmonies at the end could be a bit tighter. I think the soft and flowery and upbeat music works really well after the last song. Kinda indicating that the prefects live in a different world to the rest of the school which kinda serves as storytelling so that later when they’re so surprised by Derek’s actions it makes sense as they feel kinda separate from everyone else and it makes sense that they wouldn’t know what was going on in the rest of the school. I also love how they each get their solo bits which tell you stuff about the characters. Edgar’s dance is really reminiscent of Druitt which I really love. Herman’s music is a lot less flowy with a base note and the dance, using cricket bats, really gives off an image of strength. Lawrence’s mixes classical music into the instrumental and it has a more traditional feel. The dance involves a lot of stepping and stopping showing a formulaic approach rather than being flowy or strong. Gregory’s music has a grand feeling to it and it goes lower. Gregory doesn’t move much while Cheslock is doing some hip-hop dancing next to him. And instead of singing a solo section he talks about how he wants to go to bed.

Yes, my lord – 10/10

My favourite song in this show. It shows Ciel being told to do things and him passing his chores to Sebastian and Sebastian getting more and more annoyed with him, even breaking and calling him a brat at one point. The upbeat tone is quite fun and it works really well as a montage song. I like how it goes from Ciel saying ‘Yes, Clayton-senpai’ (senpai is a polite suffix for names of people who are higher up than you) to dropping senpai to just saying yes then turning to Sebastian. It really showcases brat Ciel.

Soma’s song – 10/10

His song is all about being Ciel’s friend and it’s really cute and energetic. The outfits from Soma’s song in Circus and brought back and it has a similar instrumental to his song there. He messes around a lot more in this song, though. Even though he is now much older than Sho was when he played Soma through this song he feels far more youthful through the more relaxed choreography and the energetic music.

Ominous prefect song – 9/10

This song is so cool. I really like the sharp shapes being projected onto the back with lilac light and the softly ominous instrumentals. (it comes right after Edgar mentions ‘the secret of what happened that day’). The vice-principal walking around at the back is really interesting as it looks like he is monitoring them. And the other students walking around with lanterns gives the song an almost supernatural feel. And then Undertaker peeking out from the back at the end gives a more direct hint of what is going on.

Nightmare, opening reprise – 8/10

This is just a reprise of the 1st song but I like it a bit better because it is shorter and the choreography of the cultists surrounding Ciel’s bed is really nice.

The Headmaster’s decision – 10/10

I like the fast pace of this song as Ciel runs around to ask about Derek and keeps just being told it was the headmaster’s decision. The students moving and singing together, then encircling him reinforces Ciel’s feeling like there’s a secret that everyone knows but isn’t telling him. I also like the use of Derek’s actor walking around the stage, always just beyond their sight from where they are.

Cricket song, last song of Act 1 – 6/10

This song is good it’s just not super enthralling. I think it’s probably the weakest pre-interval song out of the Kuromyus. At the beginning Sebastian and Ciel’s mics got really quiet for some reason and the instrumental was a bit louder than them. It’s a nice gentle and weirdly happy and hopeful instrumental which is a bit at odds with the past two ominous songs and I can’t decide if I like that or not. Also, I think the harmonies are a bit off so hopefully that will be better by the final performance. A lot of the singers sound like they have tension in their voices so I think they were all pretty anxious for this song. I do like the song and it might go up a bit if they can get the harmonies in the final show because they got almost none of them in this show. (The one that they did get sounded really good though)

INTERVAL

Cricket tournament – 9/10

While the previous song was also more upbeat than the ominous songs I don’t think it worked due to being directly afterwards, as the first song of Act 2 I quite like that’s it’s more energetic as it gets you hyped for the 2nd Act. This is the song that some Tenimyu, Prince of tennis musical, fans are saying was inspired by Tenimyu. And I will say, it was 100% inspired by Tenimyu XD. Yana-sensei is a fan of Prince of tennis and Shogo, Herman’s actor, was cast in a role very similar to his Prince of tennis role then the Green Lion section literally has lines that are exactly the same as lines from the team Shogo was in. Also, the music during their bit is actually somewhat reminiscent of the music that team normally has.

[Yu(vague) is so good at changing types of music during songs ahh, the Green Lion to Scarlett Fox transition is just so good.]

Honestly, this song would be a 7 or 8 out of 10 without the Violet Wolf part bc omg that part slaps so hard. Gregory and Cheslock high-five and the music just switches to electronic disco music and they rap most of their bit. I love it so much.

Sapphire Owl’s bit is cool too.

Scarlett vs Sapphire Cricket match – 6/10

It’s pretty good. Solid song but isn’t too exciting. Soma’s solo bit is really cute. Main thing letting it down is the ‘It’s cricket’ refrain that is in all three match songs. I was already done with it after like 30 seconds in this song and this song doesn’t have anything else lifting it above like the others do.

Violet vs Green Cricket match – 8/10

Cricket match as a rap battle. I dunno why Violet House became a rap house but I love it and I love Cheslock rapping about his awesome pitch. Then he and Herman having a rap battle is just so fun. I don’t know if this is as fun to Black Butler fans who know the characters a lot better or whether it would be uncomfortable but I had a blast in this song.

Sapphire vs Green Cricket match – 7/10

I really like the beginning instrumental and the short song bit at the very beginning of the song but the refrain hit again so it couldn’t go above a 7 for me.

Victory song – 6/10

Not a bad song but I don’t think the harmonies were there for this one and so I’m excited to see it in the last show again and hear if they improve.

Weston Reprise – 10/10

Oh my god I love this reprise so much. At first it sounds very like the original song then as the prefects slightly lose it as they realise what they have done it becomes more out of sync and the music quietens and it sounds more acapella and they sound slightly like they’re losing it due to the horror of what has happened. And the scratchiness of Gregory’s voice making it sound like he’s going to cry really reinforces that they are just children and they cannot deal with something like this.

Fight song – 7/10

I love the Undertaker taking Ciel to the side and staring at him crazily and singing at him. Again, I could hear Toshi’s nerves and I hope that he can sing the song better in the final show. I really love the Undertaker and Sebastian’s duet though and I think their voices sound really good together and I love the blood refrain in the song.

Finale song – 7/10

A pretty short but solid refrain of ‘It’s Perfect Black’

Direction: I thought the direction overall was pretty solid. There wasn’t anything really innovative attempted I don’t think but I didn’t really feel like there was anything lacking.

Overall: I really loved this show and look forward to seeing the final show and I think this show set up the new cast well for future shows.

Do I recommend buying the stream and DVD?

If you are a fan of 2.5D, any of these actors or Black Butler I really recommend trying to see this show. (The final show with be on 4th April on theatre-complex.jp and you can buy a ticket with just a vpn) While it is very different I feel like it was fairly faithful to its roots but is also trying to grow into something new.

Lastly: If you have any questions about the show, any parts, any songs or about any of the actors feel free to drop me an ask and let’s talk about it!

#Kuromyu 2021 #kuromyu #Secret of the Boarding School #weston arc #stage review

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zeawesomebirdie · 3 years

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Heeyy I'm back! I 100% agree with you in the past few days I've spent so much time with a new widow and like 20 wookieepedia articles open just going on search-tangents, it's so fun! Like the SW universe just... Never stops? You can just want to look up someone's dob and 2 hours later you're realising Tatooiine is in the Arkanis sector and Arkanis is right next to it and so is Geonosis apparently?? Still haven't come back from that one. But yeah I totally get the enthusiasm. And the HC about dates is actually good, especially for my poor brain who's having a hard time with all the stuff that's not explained haha

Mainly I just wanted to say I watched the prequels in a night and the next afternoon and it was very fun! (because for once I hadn't heard every nitpick and criticism possible on the movies :') apart from like, Hayden Christensen's acting) But I wanted to let you know, I had Obikin in mind all throughout the movies and... Yeah. Yeeaah. Yep yep yep. Love it. I started the second Aftermath book but partway I got distracted and went looking for fics :')) So far I've read a few and it's super fun because it differs from my other ships on a few things and I like the change for once :') If there are any fics you think are super good or you want to talk about, feel free to recommend them! (Also real question: do people use Ani-Wan? Cause I think that's a good name too but I just pulled it out of my ass soo...)

- ☂️

Hey there Anon ☂️! I know im the one who got you onto this wookiepedia deep dive but did you say Tatooine was in the Arkanis sector???? Thats crazy???? Especially if you're coming at the GFFA from an interest in the sequels but then learning about the prequels and-

Okay so before I get too excited, I'm so glad you're enjoying these little tangents! This is why its taken me the last nine months to even attempt to zero draft any SW canon-compliant fic, I keep getting sidetracked by a million little details and then I stop writing to research 😅 but really, the same sector and everything??!! Im gonna have to look into this omg this changes so so much about the kylux dynamic if they know this

And welcome to the prequel fanclub! I have to admit the prequels are my favorite trilogy, though that may be because im very queer and I project onto Obi-Wan a lot lmao! RotS is genuinely my favorite movie of all time and has been since I first saw it at like 10 years old, and I'm always so excited when people get to experience it without the notion that they suck! Like sure its bad 2000's acting but also its beautiful and the way everything just goes together and ahh I love these movies so much, there's a reason im mainly a prequels blog!

Oh and yeah you're right about watching them with obikin in mind! Prior to watching them this year I hadn't seen them in a good 6 or 7 years so everything i was getting for the ship was from fandom, and then when I managed to move back to my parents I finally watched the movies again and it was so amazing to see them with this new lense! And omg they're just so cute together? As the Stover novelization says, "They're a team. They're the team. And both of them are sure they always will be." And you know what that quote smacks me across the face because its so fucking true, they love each other so completely but the story just has to go on and ahhhhh

So now i have to admit im bad and haven't read a whole lot of fic for any ship in a long while 😅 reading is just hard for me, im unmedicated adhd so I tend to not read if I can get away with it but if you want my recs, I will always handsdown recommend the Matthew Stover RotS novelization, while not a fic its pure obikin for like 300 pages and its considered a canon novel which. Canon obikin? Yes please! I also like these fics:

you were the crash (i was the car) by zombiekatherine (rated M, please mind the tags)

and i think of all those little things (that you and i can do) by monamoure (rated M, please mind the tags)

Both of these are absolutely amazing! Short, but again im super adhd and not medicated whatsoever so sitting and reading anything over 10k isn't happening unless its my own fic (and even then it doesn't always happen lmao)

Now onto your last point: the only ship names I've seen for obikin are obikin (obv lol) and aniobi? There's also ships with both of them plus a third such as quiobiani (Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Anakin) and obianidala (Obi-Wan/Anakin/Padmé), and im sure there's others but im blanking on what they're called atm but honestly im sure people will get what you mean regardless of what tag you use! I say this as someone who very rarely tags posts lmao, sorry I cant be more helpful!

And side note, if you want some more deep diving and random info that isn't considered canon but is actually in Legends, I highly recommend the book Darth Plagueis by James Luceno. Its obv about Plagueis yes, but it talks pretty extensively about midichlorians and the research Plagueis was doing on Aborah in an attempt to prolong his life (and of course then you can say you have in fact heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise). I fully intend on reading more Legends books, in fact I have Master & Apprentice by Claudia Grey sitting next to me rn but I havent taken the time to read it yet (if you're unfamiliar, its the #1 "canon" quiobi novel!)

Okay now that I've rambled at length, I hope you're having a great day!! Enjoy this newfound knowledge!!

#anon ☂️#sorry for rambling at you star wars is my special interest lmao #i know way too much info about the gffa #thanks for ask too!!

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cherrymoonvol6 · 3 years

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hey i just finished watching julie and the phantoms so here’s a quick “““““review”““““ on it. lmao

this show is VERY disney channel esque. once you know that, it’s easy to enjoy it for what it is, but if that’s not your thing there’s not a lot to enjoy for you, sorry.

the fact that most of the high school kids look like actual teenagers really cement that last fact lol but i do appreciate that they got a bunch of kid actors to portray the characters. like, i just love looking at nick and realising he looks so much like fellow teenager streamer tubbo, that shit fuels my soul. in contrast though, the guys from sunset curve give me whiplash. luke is supposed to be 17, which i’m guessing is 1-2 years older than julie’s age in the show, but he just looks like he’s on his mid twenties and it never fails to take me out.

because of the amount of kid actors/disney channel vibes, the acting ranges from mediocre to good. the standouts for me were alex and willie. despite being the “sober” one of the three, alex’s delivery was on point and he got the most laughs from me for that exact reason. willie is quite standard most of the time: i think his first scenes with alex made him feel real to me, sort of charming but also a bit awkward and giddy. he stepped up his game on that scene where he finally tells the band what’s actually going on. for the first half of that scene, he came off to me as stressed, if not a bit embarrassed/guilty for the bad things that he caused. it was at that moment where alex pushed him and he says that he really cares about him, that the emotional impact of the scene really struck me. like, up to that point i didn’t see how much that stress actually came from the anxiety that willie felt from getting these people that he genuinely cares about under trouble. it completely shifted the scene from me and it’s like i felt the same whiplash that alex, luke and reggie did, and i was surprised that it landed so well for me. but yeah, anyways. er, all actors do a good job in the emotional scenes, which is just enough, so in general i’m pretty okay with the performances (excluding all the disney channel laugh track esque moments that didn’t land at all for me but, eh)

the pacing of the show was good for the most part: just when it feels like it becomes aimless, a new plot thread begins and gives the characters something to do. i also liked that the stakes were pretty high by the end of the season, despite not keeping the tension for long enough imo. although the show doesn’t waste that much time with dumb, inconsequential plotlines, the whole liar thing with flynn was extremely annoying despite being resolved quickly and rather lightly as well. it’s just, blegh, excuse for a new song and also filler for the episode. i think the show did a much better job with the subplot of julie’s brother finding out about the ghosts, since the scenes are always charming and don’t really put the plot on hold like flynn’s part did.

i also wish the show did something... interesting? with the archetypes of the disney channel characters it presents. i think the sharpay evans clone (CAN’T remember her name </3) had something going on for her when she said that it was unfair that julie was getting so much attention since she put all the effort into her project from the start, but her complaints seem so stupid when it’s revealed that her dad is the fourth member of sunset curve. like, she’s just some spoiled brat that has everything handed out to her, why is she mad? if she was in julie’s situation she’d find it even easier to get back in the music program or whatever it’s called, due to her daddy’s influences. why am i supposed to feel something for her when she claps for julie at the end of the show, out of the blue? she’s literally been an asshole in every other scene. likewise, nick simply doesn’t have a personality. he just humors julie from the start and makes it kinda like he’s always had a crush on her, and there’s like no scene in which he looks actually happy to be with his gf. why is he even dating her? why hasn’t he tried to be with julie all this time? he’s likeable yeah, but only because just as the audience he likes julie and wants to get closer to her, and doesn’t offer anything interesting - which is a shame because i do think him and julie have some chemistry. lastly, caleb is a textbook classic disney villain (flamboyant, evil to the core, queer coded, fucking gay and evil, did i already say flamboyant). surprisingly i’m of the opinion that he’s exactly what he needed to be lol. i like that the show gives him exactly the amount of screentime that he needs, and presents a big threat and a nice expansion to the ghostly part of the universe of this show. he’s also the best vocalist in the cast so all of his performances are a blast.

i also feel like they underused trevor’s character. idk, there could have been a lot more to him than just stare in amazement/fear whenever he sees the dead members of his former band singing with julie. i think julie’s dad filled the quota of sorta-incompetent adult just fine and we didn’t need him to be like That. it would’ve heightened the emotional impact of the death of these guys and maybe him apologizing for erasing sunset curve’s legacy could work as a nice character moment AND a red herring for their “unfinished business”, idk.

about the songs, i feel like the creators wanted an excuse to bring the 2000s pop-rock vibe back and i wholeheartedly support that decision. my favorite one is probably edge of great, but there’s not a song in the soundtrack i truly dislike. also for the love of god please give alex more solos </3 his voice is my favorite.

watching this show was a reminder of what i hate from first seasons/movies lol. i’m always afraid of the creators making it so these 10 episodes are only an introduction of themes and situations to be resolved and explored in other seasons. i feel like the biggest offender of this category is (netflix’s) ragnarok, and 3% is as usual the one who did it right. i’m conflicted as to where does jatp fall in this category. i wouldn’t exactly say that the focus of this show was on julie’s reintroduction to music after her mother’s death: like, she literally starts singing by the end of episode 1. the show clearly wants to follow up with caleb’s business, which is also the chance for the band to meet other ghosts who are in the same situation as willie. and the last scene where caleb possesses nick’s body shows like, how willing they are to go into that route lol. just the comparison of those stakes makes it..... blegh. i think at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter, right? i enjoyed this show for what it is and in terms of personal entertainment, i’d still give it an 8/10. good stuff. fun songs, cute characters. looks really good!

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #mine #this post is brought to you by my therapist who gave me the homework of finding new hobbies lol #i haven't watched a show in FOREVER.#eskam doesn't count shush

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filmmakerdreamst · 4 years

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‘Boy Meets World’ Re-watch (as an Adult)

‘Girl Meets World’ doesn’t count as a sequel. Not because of the writing/tonal choices but because in the original show - despite continuity issues - the characters felt like real people e.g. the way they spoke/acted/dressed was the way people behaved in the 90s where as in the spin off, they were Disney characters e.g. hyper versions of themselves especially Cory and Eric. And the transition between both shows didn’t come naturally. It’s not an objectivity badly written show but it was pretty much a re-do of the old show with the same storylines/tropes without continuing the story. (I say the same thing about ‘The Incredibles’. vs ‘Incredibles 2’.) Also there were too many cooks in the kitchen pushing one way or another. You could see Micheal Jacobs style, all the aspects were there, but he was also creating a ‘DISNEY’ show at the same time. I don’t know about you but the one message I took from the original show was ‘finding out that life cannot be packenged into a lovely little present ’ which kind of contradicts everything that the new show is. If anything GMW is an AU universe (and it really felt like that, rewatching it right after BMW e.g. it felt flipped) almost like Disney’s version of ‘what happened next?’ The primal difference between both shows is BMW is portraying what is real and GMW is based on what is real.

Going off my point, I will however be always thankful that it exists because I probably wouldn’t of found out about ‘Boy Meets World’ otherwise. Although saying that, I never thought that the original show needed a continuation of any kind (a lot of things make sense about the spin off if you acknowledge that Disney requested it - I think it would of been much better off on its original platform) ‘Boy Meets World’ was very much a product of its time i.e. when tv shows were still relevetivley new and had no rules - like there is stuff in there that not even adult shows today have. Plus there was something about it that felt very personal (such as the characters and setting) as if the creator based it on his own childhood growing up and I think that was part of its charm and why it had such a big effect on pop culture - I’m not so sure you can repeat that.

BMW is big on meta I’ll tell you that. I love how it’s so aware of itself. The amount of depth that it has never ceases to amaze me. It’s whole universe is so dense and huge. Every quote/storyline is so unique it sticks in your brain forever. (I swear the humour got more and more deranged every season). The show was also incredibly queer and progressive. It didn’t give a crap about sexuality. Much more than I remember. Proof to never use ‘but it was made in the 90s’ excuse.

I loved how the show kept reinventing itself every season as Cory grew up so you really felt you were growing up with him and all the characters. The Character Development on this show was so natural/authentic. Every single character got a chance to shine. No one changed their look in one episode and no one had an intervention every time someone had an identity crisis (GMW) My favourite development was Shawn Hunter. He went from a cool kid to a ladies man to a poetic soul. It was so satisfying to watch.

I realised that Cory Matthews is actually my favourite character (before it was Eric or Shawn) I already have a special soft spot for ‘annoying’ characters because they tend to be the most memorable/real. For example, Karma Ashcroft from ‘Faking it’ was my babe while everyone was hating on her. I really related to his anxiety/self hatred about being average and I loved that he constantly made mistakes. It was very refreshing. He’s also incredibly queer-coded. I found that alot of his mannerisms make sense if you see him with extreme compulsory heterosexuality (because identity’s such as bisexual or gay couldn’t exist normally in the 90s) There are moments in the show where he literally mimics his best friend’s behaviour around girls e.g. when the class pretty much gets brainwashed by the sex ed video in ‘Boy Meets Girl’ Shawn gets asked out by a girl, making Cory jealous - which pushes him to ask out Topanga.

It’s funny how a few years of life experience can change perspectives completely because when I was sixteen (aka the same age as Cory and Topanga) watching BMW for the first time, I was mad at Amy for ‘not understanding that they were in love’ (in ‘A Walk to Pittsburg’) but now that I’m older I’m actually agreeing with her. Yeah, what do they know about love? Because all season long they were acting quite superficially.

Cory and Topanga became somewhat of a toxic couple in seasons 5 -7. Reminded me of my parents relationship because my mum gave up her chosen university to be closer to my dad and they aren’t together any more. Topanga’s love for Cory was very conditional and Cory cheated on her multiple times/openly begged for sex (Again like my parents) And you should never be in a relationship with someone who makes you say “You make me think not so very much of myself” There are arguably much more signs of emotional abuse than love in their relationship especially from Topanga’s side. Plus their story was altered so many times to give it more basis (they retconned Shawn and Cory’s friendship to do this) I could write an essay on how Kevin and Winnie’s love story on ‘The Wonder Years’ is much more believable because it actually addresses how toxic it was and they grow apart in the end. If GMW was a realistic continuation, they would be divorced with a little girl - leave them in the 90s where they belong.

Alan and Amy were couple goals! Cory and Topanga wish that they could have what they have. Literally the definition of ‘a healthy relationship on tv that keeps thriving and over coming obstacles without big drama’. Best TV parents ever.

I loved the Matthews family; how they all had individual arcs and developments of their own. One of my favourite arcs was in season 5, when Eric and Cory were both jealous of what they ‘didn’t have’ with their dad, so Alan made an effort to give them both that they needed. Honestly, I had never seen so much healthy communication on TV before. Alan is the best father around. His whole personal arc of giving up managing a supermarket because he wasn’t passsionate about it anymore and buying a mountain store was so inspired. I found it funny that the family had more of a relationship with Shawn than Topanga.

Shawn Hunter never caught a break. It got a bit tiring. He was never allowed to be happy for five minutes. Every time he laughed or smiled, 5 years were added onto my lifespan. Why didn’t Johnathan Turner adopt him? I loved their dynamic. Why did he let him go back to his abusive father who just dumped him anyway?

Jack and Shawn’s complicated dynamic was possibly the most unique/interesting arc of the entire show and no one talks about it. I don’t care what y’all say - despite them being very different, Jack was the only one who fully took care of Shawn without second thoughts (Turner and the Matthews family had doubts)

I liked Shawn and Angela. I thought they were much better suited than Cory and Topanga. I honestly wouldn’t of minded if they ended up together even though I always had a feeling they wouldn’t. (Like I’m glad she went with her dad in the end) And considering how important they were as a interracial couple in the 90s, GMW handled that very poorly.

Shawn and Cory should of ended up together. And before you come at me with ‘it’s important to have m/m friendships without toxic masculinity’ (which is an important arguement to have) - yeah no shit there’s an entire Industry based around that/pitting women against each other. While it is important to have those friendships between men that are close and even intimate (take Chandler and Joey, Schmidt and Nick, Isak and Jonas and Jake and Charles for example) there was also another layer to their relationship which the narrative played off sometimes as them “going out” or “in love”. I actually recently found out that a writer - who came into the show in season 3 - confirmed that she wrote gay undertones into their relationship on purpose ‘In my opinion as a writer, they thought they were “straight”, they both didn’t realise or understand their feelings for eachother’ but couldn’t deliever because the producers wanted to keep the show “kid friendly”. Kind of like Xena and Gabby. I know people prefer Jack & Eric (I love them as well) but everything got ruined for me as soon as they introduced the ‘love triangle’ and I always tend to prefer emotional tension over sexual. They were just so unconditional with each other/ their friendship was so good and healthy and now I’m so bitter that it never happened.

I never understood why Shawn and Cory had to stop being best friends after he got married. He’s not Topanga’s property. I always hated how Topanga tried to interrupt/interfere with their dynamic — although now I realise it was because the two of them purposely left her out. Looking back at it, If it really was just a intimate friendship then why would she get so easily jealous if she didn’t sense there was something else deeper going on? You should never marry someone who puts you second.

I didn’t like Topanga when she was with Cory (or vice versa) Especially after they got married. She was a great character on her own. Feminist before her time. Hermione Granger before her time. I always felt she deserved a lot better than him in a way e.g. if someone I considered a friend speard a rumour around high school that we slept together - I would never speak to that person again. SHE SHOULD OF GONE TO YALE GOD DAMN IT. And as someone pointed out the other day, if the roles were reversed some of the stuff she does or says to Cory would be considered domestic violence. ‘She’s always blaming Cory on shit that isn't even his fault or makes him feel bad or shuts down his emotions and turns it around so he's comforting her instead.’ There was even a moment in GMW (not that I consider that show a continuation) where she locks him out the house for a few days after he insulted her chicken, and his son Auggie had to bring him spaghetti. If Cory was a woman, that would not be played off as a joke - that would be considered abuse. They were however a better couple in GMW ironically.

Angela Moore is now one of my favourite characters on BMW. She was beautiful. Her friendship with Rachel (and Topanga) was the best. And I frickin’ loved her and Cory’s friendship development - when they could of easily not played into that. I hate that she got villiaized in GMW.

My favourite seasons are 4, 5 & 1. My least favourites are 3 & 2 & 7. And even then the show was still pretty darn good.

The back and fourth clash between Turner and Mr Feeny in season 2 was very entertaining.

Mr Feeny and Eric are my favourite relationship on ‘Boy Meets World’. I love how Eric was the only person that Feeny directly told that he loved him. Also, why didn’t Eric become the new Mr Feeny? He showed more traits of becoming a teacher in the show than Cory did.

Eric and Tommy was probably the most heartbreaking plot line in season 6. (That season was an emotional train wreck) I cried for a fourth time. The world doesn’t deserve him.

I loved the development of Shawn and Topanga’s friendship. Even though there was a silent competition over Cory, they eventually became good friends. I found out that the song ‘She will be loved’ was inspired by them which is awesome but it’s also proof that people ship for less if it’s an m/f dynamic - just sayin’. I however see a more convincing potiental romance with the two of them than Cory and Topanga sometimes.

On Cory and Topanga again - they weren’t a bad couple overall. I liked them in s1 - 3. They had some great moments. But upon my rewatch (getting out of that 90s idealised headspace) I found them to be too similar at times - chafing as another person put it - to the point where they cancel each other out. A lot of people pointed out that Riley and Maya paralleled them and I was thinking “That’s not nesserily a good thing.”

‘Dream. Try. Do good.’ is on my mantelpiece.

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 3 years

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uhm hi, I'm transmasc/ non binary/questioning and I'm just 16, my family would never accept me and always want me to be a lady, there's a word for lady in my native language that implies "well educated young woman" and my mum wants me to be that no matter what, sometimes I wish I were a girl so my mum would be happy with me and love me; I've tried but I just end up hiding and crying because I can't be a girl. They (my parents) don't know anything and I could never tell them and i feel so much pain because they would've been amazing parents if I were cisgender and straight, it makes me feel like it's my fault and I'm also super afraid of the future, it feels like I will never get to be called by my name and pronouns because everyone always prefers to see me as "her" and if they want me to be "her" they'll always find out, the only people who call me by my name and pronouns are some Twitter friends that my parents don't know about, my sister who is 11(I feel super guilty for telling her that:( ) and my best friend who lives really far away from here, I miss her a lot, she always believes me when I tell her things and loves me :( I know I'm not alone but I feel lonely and I feel discouraged and sometimes I want to die but then I remember that my mum told me "you are not allowed to die because I would feel super bad and never recover from that pain" and I also want to do things and be happy and study a lot because I love learning things and I love art and im afraid I'll kill myself someday just because im weird and disgusting and I know I'm being transphobic with myself, I feel like I'm faking this all because as a child they told me I have to be a girl and I didn't complain I thought I couldn't choose or think about my gender because I had to be a girl, I still feel like I have to, I don't even know what to do anymore I think I should just study a lot until I get older, get a job and do whatever I want with my life and stop feeling like this, but I'm not sure I'll survive that huge amount of time, the pain of this all becomes bigger and bigger as the time goes by and I guess I'm looking for a way to feel not-so-bad and don't die and get to feel better some day and to not lose myself :(( I don't really know how to explain myself Im trying my best I don't want to feel this bad, im sorry to send this incredibly long ask :( i hope whoever reads this is doing well and having a good day and resting well and drinking water and those things <3 sorry for this :( I never feel comfortable telling my bad feelings to anyone because I feel like im a burden and I hope I'm not being a burden to you, sorry

Hello anon,

sorry for not replying sooner, I didn’t really know what useful advice I could give you and I’m still not sure. I understand that you are very stressed about this and don’t see it possible in your current situation to come out to your family which then leads to being misgendered. As a cis person I can only try to imagine how that must feel.

But please don’t blame yourself. Nothing about this is your fault. Being trans or queer in any way is not a bad thing and it doesn’t diminish your value as a person at all. If your family or anyone else would think negatively of you then that is their fault! They have a choice to be assholes or to be supportive. They can choose between helping you or making life harder. If they choose to make it harder then that says a thousand things about their character and nothing about you.

But I realise that saying this doesn’t change your situation right now. And I fear there is nothing I can do because from what I can tell it sounds like you are a minor. All I can tell you is that things can get better and that you just gotta hang in there. You will be an adult one day and you will be able to live your own life. Until then, try to do some gender affirmative stuff in secret with friends that you trust. And in the long run: try to distance yourself from the thought/need to please your parents and to become what they want you to be. Sometimes if you want to be happy you gotta disappoint your parents a little (or a lot) and that is their problem and not yours!

Maddie

#suicide tw #Anonymous

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idlecreature · 3 years

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the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?”

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?”

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold.

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen.

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’)

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#fic review #mayormurdock #what the fuckkkkkk tony when are you getting your sainthood #long post #submission

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munsonsduchess · 3 years

Text

So, I re-watched The Old Guard, again. Just like my Mag 7 re-watch I made some notes, six pages of them to be exact which is why I’m gonna drop them under the cut so I don’t clutter up anyone’s dash with my mildest of observations and all my feelings for a sad alcoholic Frenchman.

I love how we’re introduced to everyone, Andy walking alone through Marrakesh and Booker speeding through the narrow streets on his bike. Are we supposed to think they’re strangers or do they know each other

Bookers little smile when he catches up to Andy like he’s so happy to see her again and Andy’s face lighting up to see him again too

Andy spent a fortune on a book because she knew Booker would like it. “First edition Don Quixote, that wouldn’t come cheap” “it didn’t”

“What brings you to Marrakech?” // “Family'' leave me alone I’m already sobbing

Andy honey they’ll still be able to see that picture in deleted photos but you tried and that’s what matters

Nicky and Joe!

Nicky is so happy to see Andy. That little smile. It’s adorable

“You look good” “you look ok” gentle family teasing is the best ok

“Boss”

It’s been a year since they saw one and other and they just love each other so much. No one touch me.

Nicky and Booker betting on the baklava and Joe just sitting there like “let him lose his money it’s fine, he won’t learn and it’s funny”

Everyone teasing Nicky for loosing and he’s just stood there like “no it’s fine ”

These are the best people for the job and Copley knows it and doesn’t care how much it will cost him. He has faith

Copley knowing Nicky is there and the little wave

Andy taking her axe with her. I love that axe

Just a group of immortals walking through the desert with swords and guns nothing to see here

“Peace be with you” those catholic teachings never quite leave

“It’s a trap!”

That has got to hurt. Those guys emptied full clips into them. Like I get the need to do a job and do it well but come on guys that’s overkill

This is what women want. Andy and her axe

Nicky still having faith there are girls

The picture on Copley’s desk. Like if you knew why did you have to go through this bullshit?

Andy has lived too long and seen too much

Like I know now that Booker knew what was happening or maybe he didn’t know the extent of it but him saying sorry did feel genuine

Andy is just all kinds of done. She didn’t want to do the job in the first place

Nile proving that yes you can be in a strange place and you can serve your country but you don’t have to be a dick about it

“Keep it respectful”

She made an effort to learn the language and learn the customs which goes a long way to establish trust

How traumatic must this have been for Nile? She always knew there was a possibility of being injured in combat or worse never coming home but to be injured so fatally and have your friend hold your life in their hands only to come back and be rejected because you’re an anomaly. A freak

Goes a long way to explain Booker’s feelings too

Nicky and Joe sleeping in the train car is something that is obviously so normal for couples and goes such a long way to show people how ‘normal’ queer people are

“What did you see?” “Part of a name tag” thanks Booker that’s helpful

“I felt her die”

“Everything happens for a reason boss”

Booker didn’t want to go after Nile. He didn’t want her involved

Nicky pushing for them to go after Nile. The emotional centre of the group, appealing to their own experiences and feelings from their first times

Andy is not happy and I can understand how she feels. Given their current situation bringing an unknown element into the mix is only going to complicate everything

“I know I saw her die”

No scarring. Nothing to suggest that anything happened to Nile

The seeds of doubt already growing amongst Nike’s friends and allies

Merrick looks like he should have been a doctor who villain who got his shit kicked in by Donna

Copley you asshole what did you think was gonna happen? They were just gonna get clips emptied into their bodies and let the mercs walk away? Use your big boy brain

Nile trying to come to terms with what happened to her. Everyone around her looking at her with suspicion. Even her Sargent who’s sending her away from more tests

The hostility in the barracks. The fact that her things are already packed.

Everyone knows what happened. Nile has never been more alone just like Nicky said

Trying to drown out the noise of the world and decompress and understand what happened“

But you can call me Andy”

Just casually steals a military transport. Nbd

MA’AM PLEASE I AM ALREADY GAY. Riding around in a tank top and shades like that is not helping

“These damn kids”

Zero hesitation in shooting Nile. This is a woman who has run out of every kind of fuck

“Why does it always have to be so goddamn slow the first couple of times?”

“You shot me” “yes honey now back in the car

”Andy might think she’s cold and heartless and only here to do a job but you can see how much she already cares about what happens to Nile

Soldiers. Fighters. Family

You know what I’m really glad they didn’t make Andy’s tank top skin tight or moulded to show off her body. That isn’t how she rolls

Andy is so proud that Nile stabbed her. Look at that smile

!Nile already having the makings of a plan within minutes of stepping onto the plane

Andy just like “god isn’t real, I’m real though and people thought I was god”

I wonder how many nights the group sat up until the wee hours discussing things like theology. Andy who was worshiped as a god. Nicky and Joe who fought in a holy war for their beliefs and Booker who probably had his own feelings on the subject

Andy being so chill about the crash. The best poker face

It was a good try Nile and look Andy is proud of you!

The smile on Andy’s face when she’s fighting with Nile gives me so much serotonin

Soft Andy. Who had to be tough to teach a lesson

Poor Nile. Coming to terms with what she is and the fact that she might never see her family again

Family dinner time!

Awkward family dinner time

Nicky and Joe staring at each each other with their puppy dog eyes “we’re meant to find each other”

Then Booker and Andy like “misery loves company”

Everyone’s just like “awh Nicky and Joe are so cute”

Andy reliving the people she’s fought with and lost

Booker knows just how much ‘help’ talking to ones family about the situation is

Booker do not put your finger on the trigger of your gun when it’s still in your trousers! You might be immortal but that’s gonna hurt a lot more

Oh no. Quynh.

Andy’s face. I can’t

Joe in tears telling the story“

Before me and Nicky it was just the two of them”

Booker knowing exactly how it feels to hang there for hours and not die or dying and coming back time and time again. Knowing how Quynh and Andy must have felt

I cannot imagine what it must have been like for Andy. To be with someone for so long. The only other person who understands you. To be ripped apart like that

“Why do you blame yourself” that’s not a nice question to ask people

The big emotional talk with Andy and Nile in the churchyard being interrupted by the gunfire

Andy being so afraid Booker wouldn’t come back and delegating to Nile who just accepts her orders

“Welcome back asshole” / “it feels like someone was dancing on my chest”

The banter

Nicky being banished to the table in the corner after 2006 is my favourite headcanon

“Wait for my signal” Andy is more pissed than ever at the people coming after her family

“Big wounds take longer to heal” Nile as a millennial presses x to doubt

The sheer emotion in Andy’s eyes as she fights. The tears. She’s doing this for her family.

Will I ever stop harping on about found family in this show? No I will not“

How can you even tell what the signal is?” One explosion later “oh wait nvm”

The wound on Andy’s shoulder probably doesn’t even feel like anything with the amount of adrenaline

The van. These two“

What is he your boyfriend?” Stanzas of Arabic poetry later, “he’s not my boyfriend he’s all and he’s more”

Nicky and Joe Horny on Main all day every day

These cocky little shits “can you remove the chains? no? ok”“

There’s a TV Joe!” “Champagne?” it’s not a field trip boys

“I used to keep my stuff here” in an abandoned mine she found in the 1150s or that’s when she thinks she found it

Nile being amazed by Andy’s ‘stuff’

Booker meanwhile makes a joke at the expense of his sister

Merrick really should have been a doctor who villain honestly. The grand gesturing the weird mood swings. He could have been great in a two part episode and then had to reckon with Donna

Donna Noble is my favourite companion don’t @ me

Copley beginning to have second thoughts on everything

Andy realising only now that she hasn’t healed from the fight in the church“

Just because we keep living doesn’t mean we stop hurting” I have a lot of Booker feelings ok“

I thought you were the brains of this outfit” oh honey no

Bookers family. Oh no.

No but really how hard must it have been for Booker. To know that his son, his baby was suffering from cancer such an awful disease all the whole cursing his father for being selfish, uncaring, cursing Booker and Booker can’t do anything about it. He’s immortal, he heals, disease will never ravage his body, but he can’t share it with his son. He can only sit and watch as death claims everyone he’s ever loved. Living with the fact that his family despised him at the end of their lives because they didn’t understand that his immortality is a curse.

I have a lot of Booker feels don’t @ me

The pharmacy girl though. Helping just because she could

Reaffirming the reason why Andy started to help people in the first place

A selfless act. A purely good deed. Nothing expected in return. An unselfish act

Andy’s wound and Lykon’s death causing Andy to come to terms with her own mortality

Merrick “prosperity data” and Copley “I’m sorry those are people not objects”

Nicky is not here for your bullshit

Malta Sex Vacation ™

HORNY JAIL

Family bonding time with Nile and Andy

Andy “whatever it takes” and Nile “not on my watch”

So what I want to know is obviously Booker was in on it from the beginning but did actively derail Andy looking into Copley after Joe and Nicky were taken or was he just genuinely having a hard time

Nile prioritising her flesh and blood family and Andy totally understanding because she’s doing this for family too“

You and me Book. Now and always” my heart can’t cope

Nile finding the empty clip. Realising what’s about to happen and going back for her new family because as much as she loves her flesh and blood family this one matters to her as well

Meanwhile Copley I guess got a tip off from Booker (?) and knew this was all going down

The conspiracy wall

Booker you bastard why did you shoot her in the back?

I love this man but god damn

Booker wanting to be ‘normal’ because the memory of being rejected is still so raw

Suicidal tendencies in a 200 year old man

They’re both so upset by the whole thing. The betrayal

Book loves this woman with all his heart and soul. This is the woman who saved him and now she isn’t healing. She’s dying

Booker putting up so much of a fight so they wouldn’t take Andy

“I’m sorry Andy I’m sorry”

You might disagree with me but in my mind Booker never meant to hurt anyone. He didn’t want to be a lab rat. Didn’t want anyone else to be a lab rat. He just wanted to be ‘normal’“

All things die”

“Your time is coming” // “As is yours” Nicky is gonna fuck someone up

“I’m new” says Nile after shooting herself in the foot to make a point

Copley’s conspiracy wall or his fanboy wall for all the good Andy, Booker, Joe and Nicky have done

Copley’s grief at losing his wife being the driving factor for handing the group over to Merrick is tragic and heart breaking and just goes to show how much of a human story this really is

Nile said no guns Copley

Nile is here to save her family

“Those three men in there and I we’ll keep you safe” // Nile coming in guns blazing for them instead

Joe is going to kill Booker himself

“You and Nicky always had each other. All we had was our grief”

Everyone being so surprised to see Nile like “what the fuck?”“

Just leave me here” // “No man left behind”

Meanwhile Joe is fine with just leaving Booker right there to be the last lab rat

The groups concern for Andy who’s always been so strong

The concern. The subtle little head nods Andy does to let them know she’s ok

Andy spies an axe

Joe being so concerned for Nicky and making sure he comes back ok

Nicky immediately scrambling to his feet to go and help Andy

“What happened in 1934?” // “1834”

“Wait for the signal” “like the last one?” “Go big or go home!”

Arguing over who goes first and Andy just “if it doesn’t work our next time you can go first”

And there’s your signal

“You shot Nicky” Joe is not messing around when it comes to his other half“

You ok?” // “Everything hurts”

Andy has been immortal for so long she’s lost all sense of feeling human. Then Nile shows up to do just that. Remind her

Merrick calling Nile selfish like I’m sorry you entitled little shit what did you say“

Do you think he speaks Russian?”

YEET!

That one must have hurt

Nicky and Joe just like “wow the new girl is hardcore”

“Faster than the elevator”

Gotta save Andy’s axe

Nicky sits in the middle which is the actual worst place to sit in a car

Do you think they al rocked up to a hotel covered in blood like “don’t ask just give us a room and a shower”

Joe still seething at Booker through the pub window

Nile having to live with the fact that her family will never know what really happened to her. That they’ll all think she was KIA and whatever body they send back won’t be hers

The 100 year naughty step

I love that Nile was gonna let Booker off with an apology like “he didn’t mean it he’s just a sad alcoholic”

Nobody look at me. Ok. Andy and Booker saying goodbye on the shore. I can’t. This is it. This is the scene that breaks me

“I won’t see you again” // “Have a little faith Book”

Joe really wants to hit Booker. Probably did in the interim

The big picture“

Maybe this is the why Andy”

Andy laying down the law and Joe in the background like “yeah this isn’t a request”

Meanwhile in Paris. Booker is tired and just wants a drink

I am a fan of the scruff though

If that’s water Quynh definitely brought it in herself for The Drama ™

QUYNH THOUGH

#the old guard #long post #disjoined thoughts #i have a lot of booker feelings #i am not apologising for what he did #i just have a lot of feelings about the why #in which my fave is the traitor of the group #why you ask? wish i knew mate #duchess.txt

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not-poignant · 4 years

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Hi Pia! I read Game Theory a few years ago and it was one of my first "oh, fic is the place to find stories about trauma and recovery that actually work for me" moments. I reread Inmates a couple times a year, and the way you write Neil is just... so specific, so good. Thank you

Hiya anon

Tbh coming to fanfiction was like that for me as well. Before that I like, avidly read certain kinds of stories that felt like I was finding the bits and pieces of trauma and recovery that I needed, but never all in the same place. Maybe one scene from a children’s movie. And that scene from a fantasy novel. And another scene from science fiction. And these two chapters from a YA novel. But it was never everything all at once, and additionally, it was never ever queer.

It’s probably not a surprise then that I found straight fanfiction first (at the time, queer fanfiction scared me), and even then I was still finding like...trauma being dealt with in ways I’d never seen before. Suddenly character’s thoughts and emotional development mattered so much they were literally their own genres. I realised really quickly that hurt/comfort was something I loved very much, and began seeking out trauma recovery stories and suddenly felt like I’d stumbled into some kind of holy grail scenario where I could see that everything that had come before it just about, were only glimpses of what I could have.

And then I started reading queer fanfiction and then I realised I was queer. I think if I had access to fandom and fanfiction I would have realised I was queer as a teenager, but instead I realised a fair bit later, as a few of my friends around the same age as me did in fandom as well.

Inmates was really special to me, because it was kind of my first proper leap into that kind of trauma recovery, that explored things on a level where I could take my time with the characters. It probably helped that it was such a tiny, quiet fandom, this was before Inception, which brought a few people into the fandom. Before that, when I wrote chapters of Inmates on Livejournal, no one read them (which is why when people say ‘you don’t know what it’s like to have no one interacting with your work’ it’s like firstly, I really really do, and secondly I wrote in mostly rare fandoms for *years* before I came to AO3.)

So, the fact that Inmates now gets read by people is like, amazing to me. That it means something to people, is also amazing to me. For the early years of its life, in 2010, one other person read it. I get very sentimental when people enjoy that fic, so thank you so much for letting me know. <3333

Anyway you probably didn’t come here for my life story of how I ended up writing trauma narratives in fandom lol, but basically just...I’m glad we can all be here together enjoying this stuff. It’s awesome, right?

#asks and answers #pia on fandom #pia on fanfiction #and now i have no idea how else to tag this #but basically anon like #finding succour and comfort in like #fanfiction trauma recovery #as well as catharsis and empathy and understanding and being seen #it's wild to me #that i can write something that feels so lonely #and then realise i'm not alone #and it's wild to me that you all can share that #those of you who need that as much as i do #administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue #Anonymous

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awkwardlittlepringle · 4 years

Text

Queer ‘n Crazy

CHAPTER 20

Hello, fellow Fanders!

Okay, so this chapter was supposed to be centered around Thomas's wake, but the thing is I've never been to a awake, so I decided to change it to them getting ready for it, sorry about that.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

WARNINGS : Mentions of death, a funeral, gayness, swearing, I think that’s it?

...........

Virgil was kind of confused, for a myriad of reasons.

First of all, despite the fact that they were attending the... wake? Memorial? The school day went on as planned. They had their normal classes, but an hour and a half before dinner, the whole school filtered back into their dorms, and picked out their least casual clothes for the wake.

It was easy enough for Logan - the dude wore ties every day for crying out loud - but Virgil was stumped. Janice and Mike hadn't insisted on him changing how he dressed, something every other foster family had done, but this meant that the closest thing Virgil had to formal wear was a pair of not-ripped jeans, and a patternless black T-shirt.

Virgil was sure that he wouldn't feel nearly as bad about it if Logan hadn't dressed so nicely. He had thought (for some reason) that bringing dress pants to a boarding school was a normal thing to do. So across the room from Virgil he sat; trying his hardest to keep his eternally-pretty hair from falling in his eternally-pretty eyes.

Virgil turned back to his own mirror in distaste. Feeling loose jeans felt odd on him. He hadn't worn this particular pair in over six months, meaning they smelt slightly dusty as well.

"Virgil, please tell me you're not going to wear that shirt."

Virgil glanced at Logan's reflection in his mirror. The other male was looking at him disapprovingly, scanning him in a way that made Virgil incredibly self-conscious. He ducked his head away with flushed cheeks, searching for something that definitely wasn't there just as a distraction.

"Shut it, Specs. Not everyone brings ties to school." he muttered, flustered. Logan hummed, standing up and walking to his closet.

"I know that, but your wardrobe can't only be band shirts, right?" "..."

"Oh my god-" "Shut up!" he groaned. "I have a couple of other things, it's just all of them have a pattern."

"Didn't you bring at least one shirt?" "Uh... no." he said, leaning against his dresser and staring at Logan. "Why the fuck would I bring a button up? They're annoying." "They are not." "Says you! You wear dress pants, Logan. Dress pants." Logan rolled his eyes, before starting to mess with his clothes.

"I'm not referring to your jeans anyway." said Logan evenly as he sifted through neatly hung clothing. "While most people will wear jeans, most will also wear shirts. Would you like to borrow one of mine?"

Virgil's heart rate definitely didn't speed up at that, what are you talking about?

"Uh, that is if you're comfortable with that." added Logan in a quieter voice. "You don't have to obviously, but it's probably better than wearing a scruffy black T-shirt." he said with a tad more assurance. "They did say the dress code was semi-formal." Virgil couldn't deny the fact he was right.

"I mean, if you're okay with it I guess..." mumbled Virgil, his voice barely audible over his heart beating a tattoo in his chest. Logan's lips quirked upward, and he returned to his search with renewed vigor.

Virgil walked closer to Logan, the familiar smell of lavender wafting through the air between them. Lavender. Lavender smelt like Logan. Logan uses lavender detergent.

Oh fuck, I'm going to die.

"Try this one."

He held out a black dress shirt, which seemed to be in far better condition than any of Virgil's clothing. Virgil walked over and took it from him uncertainty, his heart now beating in his ears. Their hands brushed casually, but for some reason it seemed to awake a swarm of moths in Virgil's stomach.

The fabric was slightly coarse and increasingly supple underneath Virgil's touch, and seemed reasonably soft, despite the fact it was fitted. With a lump in his throat, Virgil walked into the bathroom, desperately trying to breathe through his mouth.

He watched himself in the mirror as he gingerly slipped his hands into the sleeves, being careful not to tear the fabric. It rippled before settling, the cool fabric sitting neatly on his skin. Virgil brought his hands to the buttons, fumbling slightly as he tried to slip them in. It certainly would have been easier if he had long fingernails, but as it was, his nail beds were nearly chewed raw.

He ended up having to restart halfway because he'd put the wrong button in the wrong hole, but he got there eventually. He glanced back at his reflection nervously.

The shirt had clearly been fitted to Logan's figure, shown by the excess fabric around his shoulders, but overall, it wasn't too bad. It actually fit pretty well, considering Virgil's chub.

Virgil gave himself a once over; moving his arms around a bit, before turning to the door with red cheeks. He placed his hand on the cold doorknob before taking a deep breath.

He'd been trying his hardest not to pay too much attention to the smell of the shirt, but left to his own devices it was nearly unbearable. Dust and lavender sheets and Logan's cologne. Memories of waking up next to the other male filled Logan's mind, causing the blood in his cheeks to flow even faster.

It honestly wasn't fair. No one's clothes should smell like them. It should be illegal. There was no way Virgil would be able to concentrate if his mind was filled with images of Logan's hair, and Logan's eyes, and Logan, Logan, Logan. But now Virgil was stuck wearing his crush's shirt to a wake, where he was supposed to be mourning his classmate. A classmate he really liked, too.

He was screwed.

Virgil opened the bathroom door and tentatively scanned the room for Logan, spotting him sitting at his desk and staring at the door.

He let out a satisfied smile at the sight of Virgil, before hurrying over to check the fit of the shirt. He hummed happily while doing this, before stepping back to give Virgil another look. The emo curled in on himself at the attention, his eyes flitting around the room. Anywhere but Logan.

"You look amazing." Virgil met the other's eyes with a blush that could rival a strawberry. The sheer sincerity in the Logan's eyes was way too much for him to handle.

"Do you feel okay in it?" he asked, adjusting the fabric around his shoulders. Virgil shrugged. Logan frowned. "If you don't like it you can always change it." he said with a furrowed brow. "N-No, I'm good." Virgil cringed at his stutter. "I-I mean, it just feels a little weird only wearing one layer is all." he confessed. "I would give you a suit jacket, but I'm pretty sure that's too formal." said Logan with a scrunched nose. Virgil snorted, causing the other boy to smile a bit.

"What?"

"You brought a suit jacket?" Logan's face glowed red, and he stepped backward slightly as he started to protest. "I-I-"

Virgil burst into laughter at the sheer amount of embarrassment on Logan's face. A hand coming up to cover his mouth.

"Why do you do that?" "What?" asked Virgil amidst his giggling. "How come you cover your smile?" he repeated, his blush fading slightly. "It's so pretty."

Virgil could have sworn that he choked on his own spit. A warmth exploded in his torso, causing a tingling feeling to run down his limbs to the tips of his fingers. At the same time he felt like his core was closing in on itself, like a star about to collapse under it's own gravity. A strange buzzing filled his now glowing ears.

Logan had just called him pretty. Logan, tall, adorably awkward, gorgeous Logan thought he was pretty. Or at least, he thought his smile was pretty.

Virgil had no idea how to deal with this.

Logan stared at Virgil's reaction to the compliment, his cheeks dusted a delicate pink. Then he swallowed, before stepping back as if he'd just realised what he'd done. He slapped a hand over his mouth, before whirling around and walking back to his desk. Virgil turned back to his mirror.

The two of them stood on opposite sides of the room, neither looking at the other, in silence.

"I know I'm supposed to be embarrassed right now, but that doesn't change the fact that what I just said is right, okay?"

Logan's voice was quiet, but it made the buzzing in Virgil's ears all the more louder. The black-clad boy stood silent, staring at his hands, which were resting on his dresser. Virgil swallowed, every single nerve in his body tingling.

"Thanks."

The silence fell over them like a heavy blanket, covering every crevice of the room. Virgil drew in a shaky breath.

The compliment shouldn't have affected him like it did. They had cuddled, twice-once in Virgil's bed-and yet it was some offhand comment about his smile that made Virgil so nervous. Virgil wasn't stupid. He knew that half the stuff that went on between them wasn't platonic, but it wasn't until now that he realised how badly he had to address it.

Logan was like sunlight. Any time he was in the room, Virgil felt more at ease. Any time he was present, he was a comfortable constant. The more Virgil looked at him, the more he appreciated his existence. The air between them was filled with uncertainty, the two of them tip-toeing around each other, far more than necessary.

Logan's gravity was pulling Virgil closer and closer. And well, maybe he didn't want it to stop.

Why the fuck did I have to think about this before attending a remeberence?

....................

Summary : Virgil and Logan are getting ready to go to Thomas’s wake and Virgil has a bit of a gay crisis/bi crisis/bi-sis cause he ended up wearing Logan’s dress shirt. Stupid, I know, but I honestly can’t think of anything else.

TAGS :

@vomit-boy

@someone-idk-is-here

@true-chaotic-dumbass

@666frostwolf

@yerkesdodsoncurve

@sadgayisme

If you wanna be added to the tag list, just shoot me an ask!

#virgil sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #analogical #ts #roman sanders #patton sanders #roman #patton #virgil #logan #royality #fluff #angst #fanfiction

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cheermeupthankyou · 5 years

Text

Brie Larson vs. The World: A Letter for Humanity

So I’d like to share and say hmmm in terms of adoration mm yeah Chris Evans what a husband material hubba hubba Chris Hemsworth funny dude even Taika Waititi oh Jodie Comer- in lesbians for her Armie Hammer Jake Gyllenhaal oofers eye candy Margaret Qualley mah babies Mackenzie Davis Wynonna Ryder and Kristen Stewart of course all them Marvel girls from A for Angelina Jolie Blanchett Danai Debicki Saldana Evangeline Karen Scarlett etc etc etc to Z for Zendaya Star Wars gang Daisy Felicity Oscar Lupita um yes please all the heroines we love Gal Gadot Amber Heard les cheveux roux madmoiselles Chastain Amy Adams the veterans Patricia Clarke Bullock Paulson Weaver Gillian Anderson Moore Lawless Mirren what goddesses they are even the young’uns newcomers Diana Silvers Billie Lourd Hunter Schafer such gems Thrones crew Gwendoline Emilia Lena Kit Sophie Maisie err pretty much everyone of them yes even the Night King give me the shivurs Aubrey Plaza Anna Kendrick Sarah Carter yas yas yas even some voice actors Ashly Burch Elizabeth Maxwell Hannah Telle j’adore Fab Five queers heck even politicians like AOC or Kamala Harris or Brian Sims gets me giddy wonderful wonderful insanely talented amazing great people.

But

then

there’s

Brie Larson.

I was a music photographer and journalist for a while, I interviewed people and got the chance to meet some renowned humans (Feist, Au Revoir Simone, Kina Grannis, YYYs, Sean Lennon to name a few) it was my job to recognise their backgrounds and learn people’s personalities and identify situations.

While there are so much amazing people that I mentioned above who has done so many great things, I have never seen someone MOST relatable like Brie, so humble and hardworking in the harsh -no privacy- industry of entertainment, who just bases her life out of goodness and excitement of life and purity. She’s like most of us, she’s awkward and shy, loves pets, video games, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Sailor Moon, fan girls towards other celebs, music nerd and an actual nerd, and just loving life in general.

So it does break my heart that people are targeting her as the subject of everything that’s negative just because she wanted to set a stigma that women can be powerful and is their own person, and she’s had it rough before (as I read/listened/watched her interviews) Here’s a narrowed down of her life:

- Her parents were constantly fighting when she was young, leaving her into a broken home, around 7 years old she moved to LA living in a studio apartment with her mom and sister with the 3 of them with only 1 murphy bed. She’s estranged with her dad until now.

- She’s definitely an introvert, type of girl who sits on the far upper left or right corner in the theatre thinking that she doesn’t block anyone’s view (she actually said this on an interview), had social anxiety attacks since she was young but she knows she loves acting and wants to entertain people, starting with singing in her early years. She prefers doing stuffs alone and creating arts just to keep her mind at ease.

- Because of her passion in acting and her social condition, she was home schooled and focused in acting schools more, thankfully her mother supported her to go to acting schools and just going on auditions. Her singing career didn’t go as much as she hoped, to make ends meet she started DJ-ing just to earn money. Keep in mind Brie did not come from a prestige family with access to Hollywood unlike some of her Marvel co-stars. She started from zero.

- She actually auditioned for Twilight and was told, “Don’t ever bring Brie Larson back here again” for whatever reason. Was also told she wasn’t “sexy enough” for some stuffs she auditioned.

- Even though she loves acting, knowing she’s an introvert, it is the only reason why Brie has never considered blockbuster movies because she was afraid of getting recognised worldwide that it would leave her having no privacy at life at all. Due to this, she accepted mostly indie movies (Most recognisably Short Term 12 or The Glass Castle) but even by doing indie movies she didn’t earn enough money that sometimes she would cry in her kitchen telling her mom that she doesn’t have any money just to buy food.

- She did the movie Room which won her first Oscar for best actress, but in the process in doing so it broke her in half because of her childhood past and trauma. Whilst doing The Glass Castle she also said it was rather personal that she played a character with a broken relationship with a father (Played by Woody Harrelson) is because she never had father-daughter relationship. All the stuffs she did were mostly personal because she felt connected to them. Even Captain Marvel, because she felt that it was a moment in her life where she needs the change to be stronger for herself and Carol has changed her for that.

- Her road into becoming Captain Marvel was almost like a brick to brick road built up for her, as she has acted in movies with most of the Marvel casts. In 13 Going On 30 with Mark Ruffalo, with Chris Evans in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Scarlett Johansson in Don Jon, Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson in Kong: Skull Island and Joe and Anthony Russo in Community. A few reasons she accepted the role of Captain Marvel; One being when she saw Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman, she admitted that even as the movie was just about a few minutes in, she couldn’t stop crying and she asks herself as to why that is, and she realised that this is the stuff I need, we don’t have this enough, where a powerful strong woman was depicted on screen; The other, for the most realistic reason that she did need the money while she was given the opportunity; The SIMPLEST reason is just to MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY that the character is going to be brought to life; The MOST important of them all is that she wants to break the barrier of herself. She wants to be more out there, spreading positivity and setting an example to people to be stronger for themselves, that people can change for the better, in which in this case: Brie was a completely non athletic person with asthma, she trained for 9 months, almost 3-5 hours a day for 5 days a week at the gym with constant crying because of her hard work and changes to herself, vomited mostly at the gym and also puked during her pilot training. She had bruises all over the place because she did most of her stunts and training (Per her saying, it was ignorance at first because she thought everyone on Marvel was doing their own stunts when they’re not, but she did most of them herself that she was allowed to).

- Now that she has recognition, she’s actually doing more activism and be a spokeswoman into helping people. She even promotes people’s brand and stuffs via her Instagram just to help out simple things.

Please remember, she’s human. She has flaws, but I have never seen her doing/saying anything fatal that depicts resent. Never. And no, Brie is not the first female ever trying to set examples for people, but she is the current one getting the most hate for it just because of Captain Marvel— a film about a female superhero, setting an example for people to be stronger, she did it just to make people happy and half the world is angry at her. WTF. Believe it or not, this is girl actually CARES about people, she would care about you if you actually DO CARE about all the good things that does matter. Being of who she is, Brie is capable of empathising with people, which is something most people don’t have.

Brie wanted to be a better person, SHE DID. When in fact Brie has successfully done that, now people are hating her even more because she’s just a “bigger easier target” because of her role and apparently it is easier to hate someone else than just to be nice or appreciative or grateful in general.

If you’re reading and you’re hating, can I just ask, what has Brie Larson done to your life? And maybe ask yourself what have you done that matters in your life? We can just be nicer to other people, it’s really not that hard to try, you know. Life is just about being kind to each other, there is no point in throwing hate because it’s not your cup of tea, having an opinion to your taste is fine, but giving hate comments about is just being an asshole. Imagine being in her shoes and dealing with all those that wasn’t necessary in the first place. It does take mentality of the size of the Jupiter with that amount of hate, and Brie Larson is still dealing them. Just think if that was you, could you be able to handle it as far as what she’s gone though? Really think about it. Not one human in the world wants to be hated for even the smallest reason, not even you.

As to those who feel like they wanted a change in their lives, if Brie can do it, SO CAN YOU. Stay calm, just be nice and kind to others— even to those who treated you unjustly. Let the action speaks louder than any words will ever do. And be happy of life.

My adoration for her is at the apex at the moment. She is IT.

So I’m just here spreading the love for Brie.

#brie larson

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duckythedrangon · 4 years

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My Gender and how I understood it (warning it's really long)

Since no one that I know in real life follows my Tumblr, I wanted to post this here. Okay, to start this out ill just tell you my gender is kinda meh🤷.

So I’ve always respected and loved trans people and I was quite educated about trans people especially trans ftm people because 1, my friend had come out to me as trans ftm and 2, because the majority of trans people on youtube are ftm and YouTube was the easiest way to educate myself as a 10 year old kid. I didn’t know much about nonbinary people, I knew they existed and I knew what it meant, I just didn’t overly educate myself like I did when learning about ftm trans guys.

Lets talk about childhood, when I was pretty young, I hated dresses and skirts and anything pink and I was an extreme tomboy and I would go around saying “I want to be a boy” I don’t think that I realised it was an actual option because I’m pretty sure I didn’t actually wanted to be a boy. I am pretty sure all that was just because I wanted to be unique in a family of all girls, I had 6 sisters and a single mum. I think the first time I heard about trans people (which I actually learnt about really young because 1 of my sisters was really into educating us on queer stuff) I actually considered if I might be trans but I brushed it off straight away because I realised that I was just a tomboy and I didn’t actually want to be a boy, from then on I didn’t question my gender for ages. I wasn’t bothered by being called girl/she so I had no reason for questions about my gender to come into my head. Fun fact I remember when I was young I understood that it was unacceptable to touch other peoples boobs so that was something I was looking forward to getting when I was really young, because they looked so squishable. Even though that’s something that I don’t like having now.

Okay puberty stuff. The things about puberty that I didn’t like periods and boobs, I don’t really mind my hips and waist. Okay, periods, I hate the existence of my period to the point that I will ignore it for most of it. I will put a big overnight pad on and I refuse to change it for the entire week unless it starts to leak or something, gross I know, because if I change it, it will remind me that it exists, is that dysphoria, maybe to be honest idk. Okay boobs, when I started to develop a chest I didn’t think it was good enough so I overcompensated and wore padded sports bras abut I always hated it and felt fake so stopped and realised that I hated that it was even there, I didn’t like looking at it, I didn’t like anyone mentioning my chest at all. I am very uncomfortable with anything to do with my chest. Is that dysphoria, maybe.

The first time I heard of they/them pronouns i thought they were so cool and wanted to be able to claim them but I didn’t think that I had the right to since I didn’t even think about the possibility of me being nonbinary.

I started properly questioning my gender shortly after I had finally figured my sexuality and was feeling good about that. I heard of agender, the lack of gender or no gender I thought that sounded great and I realised it may apply to me. Id never really thought about my own gender and my brain thought that maybe because I never thought about gender that I didn’t have one, okay I realise that’s not really how it works but I still thought the word agender fit me so well. One day I decided to try to bind my chest to see how that would look, I tried with bandages(I know its very unsafe but its all I had access to) in my room at 3am I was amazed I was so happy and realised that I didn’t like my chest,(I took off the bandages after a few minutes because bandages are extremely unsafe to bind with) and I’m so lucky my older sister has ordered me a real binder from gc2b and its on its way and I’m so excited.

But then there was the roadblock I didn’t feel discomfort being called she/her/girl and feminine things (although I did hate the words women or lady). Although after I started questioning I did notice a lot more when someone would call me that. But I also wouldn’t care if I was mistaken for a boy, when I was younger and got my first short haircut, people would mistake me for a boy fairly often and I didn’t really care at all. So I don’t mind if you use she/he but I’m pretty sure I would prefer they/them although its never been used to describe me so idk.

Anyway I’m pretty sure I’m agender but I don’t have a big problem with being perceived as a girl. It would be a lot of work to socially transition and I don’t really feel like I care enough, for it to be worth it, a lot of other trans people care a lot more. I would probably prefer to be free to be agender and use they/them pronouns but its just easier to identify as a girl. (this was meant to be the conclusion but it just doesn’t feel right as I’m typing it)

That doesn’t feel like the right ending, this was meant to explain why I am agender but have decided to just identify as a girl for at least the time being before I start to hate that I’m a girl, but instead having it all written here it makes me realise why I should live as myself an agender person.

If you got to the end, give me advise please!

#agender #questioning #questioning gender #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtqai #nonbinary

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silverbastardgoldenfool · 5 years

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Realm of the Elderlings Ask Meme Thing

Created by @hermitknut and brought back by @elderling-magic

Thanks @blackandwhitemotley for tagging me :) this is gonna be unnecessarily long because I’m a messy bitch with too many feelings and not enough brain cells

Favourite RotE Book: God it’s impossible to choose properly so let’s just go with the one that always gives me flashbacks when I see it on my bookshelf: Golden Fool

Why: I was already deeply obsessed at this point and had laughed, cried and panicked countless times throughout the series BUT Golden Fool stands out because of the Fitz/Fool confrontation which all but gave me a panic attack. Sure, I’ve been overly invested in book characters my whole life but the fact I was like physically fuckin sweating just because these guys were having a verbal fight, which had nothing to do with the actual plot, is fuckin wild my dude. Also despite my distress I was thrilled in a way because I never expected Robin to address the homoerotic tension in the actual text - and I was even more impressed that she makes the Fool the winner in this fight. You feel for him (ouch!!!!!!!!) but he gets the last word and the whole time you’re on his side and wishing Fitz would just keep his goddamn mouth shut (unless he’s gonna use it to kiss the Fool). She makes you empathise with the Fool without compromising his dignity, without making him a pathetic pining gay stereotype. He is hurt, he is human, but Fitz is the fool in this exchange (forgive the unintentional pun). It’s crazy how this one scene defines this whole huge book for me but it overwhelmingly does. Man it fucked me up.

Top Three Favourite Characters: I’m excluding Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes cos that’s just a given honestly and there are too many incredible characters to choose from. Also I’m going to choose three characters I think are exceptional on a technical level since that’s the easiest way for me to pick a few out.

1. Burrich - Forever fascinating to me because I disagree with him probably more often than not AND YET I love him so much. It’s seriously like I have the same relationship with him that Fitz does - and/or the same relationship many of us have with father figures. That weird thing where you can fundamentally disagree on some pretty important stuff, and he makes a lot of mistakes and probably irrevocably fucked you up in a lot of ways but you can’t help but love him because you know he’s not doing anything from a place of malice or pettiness or selfishness. He simply knows what he believes and is righteous to a fault. He’s always doing his best - whatever that looks like to him. There are so many things he says or does that make me amazed that I don’t hate him. I think in another series he is the kind of character I would hate. The fact that Robin makes me love him - and conflicted about that love - is a marvel.

2. Malta - I won’t harp on about this too much because we all know the deal. Malta’s early POVs were a tween nightmare. I had to skim them because they were so viscerally irritating. I guess it’s a huge testament to the writing that it really did feel like you were stuck in a tween girl’s head; the problem is that is the worst hell imaginable. It’s an even greater testament to the writing that, through some of the most masterful character development I have ever witnessed, you actually end up loving this girl.

3. Kennit - He’s such a monster that I hate actually saying he’s one of my favourite characters but it’s true. Especially from a writing perspective; it’s fucking witchcraft how Robin has you judging everyone around Kennit for falling for his charms even while you are in some way charmed by him. He’s intelligent, charismatic, enigmatic. You know he’s not a good person yet you enjoy spending time with him, you’re kind of rooting for him just because he’s interesting and you want to see what he’s going to do next. You even know - the narration straight up tells you - that most of his successes are down to pure dumb luck yet we still kind of buy into this persona of his. Absolutely brilliant writing. Not to mention his backstory, which is so tragic and compelling, and manages to explain his actions without excusing them. Without a doubt one of my top five favourite villains of all time.

Top Three Least Favourite Characters: Okay so again going for the writing angle; characters I just felt weren’t handled all that well on a technical level. Keep in mind that this is suuuuuper subjective. Also I can only think of two.

1. Molly - I’ve seen a lot of people assume that people who dislike her feel that way because she “gets in the way” of Fitz/Fool but that’s not true for me. I’ll try and keep this shortish because I have way too many feelings about this topic lol. Having read the whole series I wouldn’t change anything, but for a long time I really felt like the story would have been better if she wasn’t in it, or especially if she had not come back after Assassin’s Quest. Maybe that’s harsh, but I honestly just generally dislike the whole “first love, last love” trope (and in my personal experience have found it v toxic). I never found her character particularly engaging, but by the end of Farseer I had made my peace with her role in Fitz’s story; the way I saw it, she represented the life Fitz wanted but could never have. Of course you could argue then that it makes sense for Fitz to get her back once he is allowed to have a window of normal life - and that would be true EXCEPT the whole reason I saw her as a symbol and not a real love interest was because their relationship was TERRIBLE. It was seriously toxic and literally based on lies. I really felt what would have been healthy for Fitz at the end of Tawny Man would have been to find peace in realising that Molly was his past, not his future, and that what they’d had was teenage lust and not the stuff of soulmates. I don’t like the implication that Fitz was right to idealise this tumultuous, dishonest, immature relationship he had as a teenager all these years. Honestly this is why I was FURIOUS when I finished Fool’s Fate lol, even though I knew this wasn’t the ultimate ending. Now that I know where Robin went with this and that Fitz wasn’t really fulfilled in his life with Molly I don’t mind it as much but I still don’t love it. There was never enough of an honest, genuine, selfless connection established between the two of them for it to feel like anything other than an unhealthy fixation that Fitz projected all his unattainable fantasies onto. He never seemed to see Molly as a fully realised person which made it hard for me to do so. Also seriously, if I had been pining after my high school fling for the last ten years everyone would agree that the best thing for me would be to move on, not get back together with them. I’m not saying Fitz didn’t deserve his little bracket of peaceful years, but it just didn’t have to be with Molly. Sometimes not getting what you thought you wanted is the happy ending - I guess it’s just really jarring in a series that’s generally so subversive to get a standard fantasy trope like this. I really truly was shocked when Fitz got his feelings back from the stone dragon and his realisation was not “Molly is kind of just a girl I used to know a long time ago and our paths have long since diverged” but “yes no actually that girl I haven’t talked to in over a decade is my soulmate” like, wig in the worst way. ALSO SHE WAS FUCKING HIS DAD ALL THAT TIME. SHE BORE HIS DAD CHILDREN. HIS DAD HAD TO DIE SO THEY COULD BE TOGETHER. BRUH. Seriously it did feel like Burrich was sacrificed solely so these two little shits could get back together, and again, that was so infuriating and so not like these books. This and Burrich not being canonically in love w Chivalry are the only two points I actually get riled up about from a writing/critical perspective lol, every other flaw and quirk in this series I will absolutely pardon but for some reason these just get to me dude.

2. Starling - Promise this one is simpler lol. I always found Starling quite irritating “as a person” but didn’t mind her as a character. What I didn’t love was the way her lifestyle (promiscuity, independence, nomadic etc.) was kind of justified when it didn’t need to be, with the typical explanation that she’s only like this because she can’t have kids. It just felt really unnecessary, and it was even worse when she did get pregnant and basically just became a completely different person. But I’m generally touchy when it comes to female characters and fertility/pregnancy storylines as I just feel like they’re rarely done well. And I just really don’t like it when infertility is implied as a justification for character traits (usually traditionally male traits) that don’t need justifying.

Favourite Ship (of the floating kind): Paragon of course, we love a problematic fave.

Top Three Favourite Ships (of the people kind): Fitz/Fool, Sedric/Carson, Althea/Brashen (the only heteros whomst deserve rights)

Would you rather be Witted or Skilled: Honestly wouldn’t want either but if I had to choose I guess the Wit? I’d much rather be inside an animal’s head than another human’s no thanks bb

If you were Witted, what animal would you bond with?: If I’m still living in my current situation in this hypothetical then I guess a house cat. If I really get to go wild then I am absolutely bonding with a big cat, like a tiger or a panther IMAGINE THE SNUGGLES.

Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six Duchies, Bingtown, the Rain Wilds, Kelsingra, Jamaillia, the Pirate Isles, or Fool’s Homeland?: Dude I am so bad at visualising locations so idk lol, I guess queer utopia Kelsingra although obviously it has its drawbacks.

How were you introduced to the books? My mum had been telling me for years that if I liked A Song of Ice and Fire I would like Realm of the Elderlings. I was putting it off because there are so many books and I also knew how much she loved them so I was worried I wouldn’t like them and she’d be let down. But I eventually got so close to rereading ASOIAF (which I swore I wouldn’t do til Winds of Winter is released) that I decided to finally give RotE a go in its stead.

Share a quote you love: I don’t have a book on me rn but that part in Fool’s Errand when Fitz is talking about how the Fool has wandered into the place he’s been living for years and immediately, effortlessly made it a home is TENDERNESS BEYOND COMPARE ARE YOU KIDDING.

Tagging: if you see this and haven’t done it yet, consider yourself tagged!

Take the thing, copy and paste it into your own post, tag it “elderlings” and then tag as many people as you can that you know in the fandom.

#rote #Realm of the Elderlings #robin hobb

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

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Spare opinions and headcanons on trans magnus

[cracks knuckles so hard they all break]

okay honestly there are always new trans magnus headcanons to be had but i was talking to kinkym and i realised i never said anything about magnus' transition so

okay so like. magnus knew he was trans ever since he was a kid and that was fine mostly. stepfather was a bit of a dick but he was fine. but because of his stepfather and some other ppl being kind of dicky, magnus started considering trying to change his overall appearance and body. also he already kind of had an interest in medicine/chemistry and he prolly studied a lot about plants' and animal parts' natural properties. he didnt go very far with that regarding his transition but it solidified his interest in related things which would help him later.

so once he started learning to get ahold of his magic, both before and after asmodeus, he started using that. Ive said in another ask that i think magic works like both a sense and a limb in sh lore. so he started using it to kind of try and understand the workings of his body better, you know? and with that he slowly learned how to make changes. and then when puberty started to kick in he noticed the changes in his blood and yeah, that's how Magnus figures out hormones on his own (im not gonna say he discovers it cuz like other warlocks probably already know and i would bet good money that other cultures had already figured this out before modern western did - that only happened in the first decade of the 20th century btw - but you know, he figured out magic by himself, so he's self taught on that department). and so he starts making adjustments on his hormone levels so his puberty is different. but that's kind of a pain, specially because theres such a delicate balance and hormones actually have a very complex self-regulating system (I SWEAR IM NOT MAKING COMPLICATED RESEARCH FOR THIS I ALREADY KNEW THAT I JUST WANTED TO PUT A SOURCE BECAUSE I LIKE SHARING INFORMATION) so what the fuck is going on, right? so he uses magic to study these relations between hormones, and figures out how they relate to each other and where they all come from - so then he just goes on and makes some changes in his adrenal glands and voilà, natural testosterone production + basically a degree in endocrynology at this point. that is why he has a flat chest, is tall and etc; he basically took self made puberty blockers and T because hes a small baby genius who loves science and has a deep liking for chemistry and relationship with nature and ugh im so emo about little scientist magnus

once he joins the warlock community he shares his findings with other warlocks and he is delighted to learn all they know about every subject as well - that's when he falls in love with physichs and starts his portals project, but thats another topic i have way too many headcanons about so lets leave it at that. for a while hes just deep into studyings of science and magic and how he can use them together - wait i said i would move on. fuck. shit. i fucked up. fuck

and like again warlocks are super cool about him being trans, again warlocks dont care about gender and know its all fake anyway, so do seelies - also considering seelies have an even deeper relationship with nature and magic he could also learn so much with them, fuck - vampires are kind of whatever, depends on when they were born really, so his environment is pretty chill when it comes to that. also, hes enby, plus for many years men wearing makeup and "feminine" clothing was perfectly normal and it kind of balanced out his super masc body because he wanted a little more of a mix. but mundanes were shit, so in his mundane life he had to hide most of the time. but look, trans ppl have always existed, and there was something of a queer scene ever since, well, queer expression started being repressed lmao. so what im trying to say is that he met other mundane trans kids and being the sweetheart serial adopter that he is, he not only took them under his wing and tried to protect and help them (with whatever; safe binding, finding a job, struggling with having to hide, the whole shebang, he had enough experience to have useful insight on pretty much any topic) when he met someone who was dysphoric or wanted particular changes in their body he just. secretly did it. like he would "feel" their organism's workings with his magic and just casually adjust some stuff and suddenly they were growing T/Estrogen and becoming more androgynous and wow, what gives? theres kind of a rumor that gets spread that this one bar has magical transitioning properties and it kind of becomes a hot spot for trans youth after that. and that's super cool, so they make the most of it and slowly a trans community starts growing there, with ppl helping each other ge away from abusive environments and housing and protecting other ppl from violence and shit like that. and it's just. an amazing thing that Magnus kind of started and got to be an active part of building and making. ugh im so emo.

and as the 20th century nears those just keep spreading, and magnus is so happy to see that these mundane kids now have something similar to what he has in the warlock/seelie community - a place where it doesnt matter and theres active solidarity and support. Ive already said that i think magnus was at stonewall helping protect the rioters about a million times so i will refrain from saying it again but i will say i headcanon that Magnus was good friends with Sylvia Rivera - an amazing, bisexual latina trans woman who fought to end prison and for queer liberation. ggghhhhhhhggghhh and okay that's what i have so far because every time someones like "hey do you have any thoughts about [subject i have a lot of thoughts about]" i immediately forget all my thoughts but, uh, hmu with more trans magnus questions lmao i live for that shit

#ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #trans magnus bane #trans!magnus #overflowing trashcan #headcanons

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