#sorry if this is messy i wrote this in bursts over like. a couple months.

[dreamsy990]

so it all comes to this.

to say i was excited to play 3 would be wrong. actually i was sort of dreading the game. i went in with expectations for the worst and was pleasantly surprised. which is not to say that its good. but its certainly a game! that i played! and now you get my thoughts. unfortunately a lot of my thoughts about the end of the game are kind of hard to separate so. if youre wondering where my thoughts on endgame stuff is. its at the end.

(also i havent played remind so theres no remind thoughts here. its all just base game kh3)

combat (with some other gameplay notes)

so. im not a big fan of the combat. to preface, i played the rest of the series on standard, but with kh3 i was told it was easy so i did proud! and yet it was still the easiest kh game.

kh3 is the first game in the series where i feel as though 'mash x to win' is a valid criticism <- thats not entirely true at the start, but later in the game it does feel a lot like that. almost every fight is mindless because of how easy it is. you can see it in the enemy health bars, theyre absurdly large because of how easy it is to take them down. they need to have that high of health so the fight isnt over in under a minute.

i dont think the base combat is bad. unsatisfying, maybe. But not bad. except for attraction commands.

attraction commands feel like part of a pattern in kh3, where they try to recreate what made the other games so good without understanding WHY it was good. what theyre recreating ofc being reaction commands. technically its the same as some reaction commands, sure, being a giant dramatic attack, but it doesnt work because theres no situational awareness in them.

attraction commands dont feel cool because theres nothing in them that requires use of your surroundings or that is tailored to the enemies youre fighting, since theres only a couple that can be used at any time. there's nothing strategic about using them either- reaction commands normally would give you a specific advantage, or could be used to avoid attacks, only sometimes dealing damage on their own. in kh3, all attractions do is deal damage. they are impersonal and often obtrusive- if youre like me and hate attractions, youll still often accidentally use one, since theres no way to disable them.

this is more abstract than anything, but something about attacking feels unsatisfying. the combat feels like it lacks any real sense of impact or weight to me. but thats all personal and not exactly good criticism so. i digress

also the bosses in 3 suck. you know its bad when the most memorable boss fight in your game is the tutorial. most of the boss fights in this game are so unmemorable that ive literally forgotten them. except of course demon tide. i despise demon tide. it was fine in 0.2 but not here. every time you fight it feels like a missed opportunity for something cooler.

i think flowmotion is worse now. i get that it was a bit too overpowered, but with how much it was limited i ended up hardly using it. i didnt like flowmotion because of the attacks, i liked it because of the movement. so to me, it ended up being a reminder of how kh3 failed instead of a fun feature.

also i know a lot of people like being able to switch keyblades in fights, but honestly i feel like it removes an element of strategy the other games had

the ui (and other visual things)

this isnt something i talked about in my other reviews. but in kh3 i must bring it up. if you follow me you may know my hatred for kh3s ui. so im going to talk about it again! this is the abridged version though. heres my whole rant if you want my full thoughts on it. but the short version is that i dont like it. i am someone with terrible vision and i can play every single kh game without glasses because the ui is just big enough that i can read it. most of the time i can read subtitles too. but in 3? i struggle even WITH glasses to read anything. the ui is too small to make out anything almost all the time. its really only by muscle memory that im able to play. my glasses broke while i was playing, and i literally couldnt play until i got new ones because i couldnt make out a single word on screen. its bad design.

im also upset that there ui art has been replaced with renders. its just a shame honestly. i loved the art in the older games. the renders feel bland in comparison.

and thats generally my take on the look of modern kh. sure its pretty, but its bland. kh has always had a certain cartoonish vibe to it thats starting to die out, and i think the shift to unreal engine was the first marker of that change. i like the look of old kh. its not too technically impressive but its incredibly charming. kh3 is anything but. the characters feel far less expressive, the worlds are realistically rendered, it feels unfitting for a series like kh. its hard for me to find kh3 as charming as the other games. the only word i can think of to really describe it is corporate.

i dont know if this is a rare take, but i think technically impressive visuals are far worse than distinct ones. kh used to have a unique look! now it just looks like every other semi-realistically rendered rpg.

story (featuring: more gameplay notes)

my problem with kh3's story was unavoidable really. dream drop distance set this game up for failure and so im not going to complain about dream drop distance. ANOTHER TIME ill talk about dream drop distance. i dont have time to make a post that long. i do have a lot of problems with the story that werent a result of ddd being terrible so i guess ill just bring up those.

one of my biggest issues with the game is how unimportant the roxas plot is. youre led to believe the game will revolve around it but then sora does nothing to further it. at all. at the start he CONSIDERS doing something, and then hes told by ienzo "no its fine ive got it. go do something else" and its barely ever mentioned again until the end.

this relates to my overarching problem with the plot: it feels aimless. in every kh game theres a REASON theyre going on a journey. soras looking for his friends, roxas is working a 9 to 5, the wayfinders are all following each other, etc. but in kh3 sora is looking for "the power of waking". what is the power of waking? i literally have no clue. thats how poorly defined it is. its an abstract goal, its not tangible or even really achievable. its just a macguffin. when the plot suddenly decides to happen at the end the whole journey feels pointless. you could skip every disney world past twilight town and you would probably be fine. it's not a journey, you're not exploring for a purpose, you're just killing time until other people handle the plot.

i also really hate the new organization (i refuse to call them the real organization. theyll never be the org). theyre painfully boring and poorly put together. the old org had structure, they had very specific goals, every member had a purpose. you knew how they worked and why they did what they did. the new org is just completely lacking in that. calling it an 'organization' is stupid because there's nothing organized about it. and even disregarding all that, the new organization also lacks any real personality. the members feel so boring, which sucks, because almost all of them are returning characters who used to be really fun. and why are most of them even there? no one except maybe xigbar seems to actually care about their mission. the old organization had a common goal and a reason everyone was there. they were nobodies, they wanted their hearts back. there's no reason for any of the new members to stick with xehanort. and if you say "well they were norted!" i then must ask. what exactly is norting? like really. it hasnt been possession since birth by sleep. norting is whatever nomura needs it to be in the moment. its not clearly defined, its just another macguffin.

also because i dont know where to put it, the battle of 10,000 heartless is just a terrible successor to the original fight. there's no stakes, no buildup, no friends fighting by your side, no reason to care. they just throw thousands of heartless with no ai at you. literally no ai, if you stand still they wont attack you. its a drag if anything, an homage to a better game done absolutely no justice.

back to what i was saying about the roxas plot, roxas' return is just such a nothing scene. theres nothing about it thats cathartic, his lines are impersonal and bland, theres nothing 'roxas' about it. roxas' defining feature has always been how emotional he is, and there's none of that here. its nothing. and then he does nothing afterwords. he has seven whole lines in this entire game, six of them are in this scene, and the last one is an inconsequential jab at sora at the very end. and then he fades into the background.

the writing in this game in general is actually weirdly worse than normal. it feels a lot less, idk, human? the older games were weird and absurdly cheesy but this is just. strange. look at the scenes with riku and mickey in the realm of darkness and youll see what i mean.

WHILE IM ON THAT SUBJECT. RIKUS KEYBLADE BREAKING IS BULLSHIT. remind me to rant about that another time though im not gonna go on a tangent about that here

also i would give my thoughts on the ending but i literally couldnt care less about xehanort. so i dont really have any! the final boss was alright though

i have more specific thoughts, but generally, the game feels aimless and underwhelming.

positives

i love axel and kairi! theyre a fun duo and ill never shut up about their parallels so seeing them together is nice. i wish they did anything but thats BESIDES the point im being POSITIVE here

also. the music is great. i love the music sm. its nowhere near my favorite kh soundtrack, it feels a lot more grand which isnt my thing but its still some of yoko shimomuras best work. also hearts as one. its the PERFECT conclusion to roxas' theme and arc. the progression of it from melancholic (roxas) to desperate (the other promise) to triumphant (hearts as one) is just so good. i wish the rest of this scene was as good as the music so i could compliment it more wholeheartedly yknow?

its actually funny also! kh isnt the funniest series, most of the time when it IS funny its completely on accident. but kh3 is like days in the way that it just. actually has funny writing. the jokes intended DO land and its just a breath of fresh air.

oh also riku being well adjusted is the funniest possible conclusion to his character arc. 10/10 im so happy hes normal. never give that boy an emo arc again nomura

conclusion

over all, kh3 is exactly like how my teachers described me in elementary school: it has a lot of potential, but doesnt apply itself. this couldve been a decent game but it simply doesnt do most things very well. i give it a 5.2 / 10. its not an actively bad game but its a game i have trouble enjoying. sidenote im retconning my opinion on bbs to say its 4.7 / 10 because a: my opinions have changed and b: i think 3 is better but i dont want to give it a very high score.

#kh reviews #kh3 #kingdom hearts #sora #doodles #I ACTUALLY FINISHED WRITING THIS YIPPEE #i did formatting this time guys are you proud of me #i have to go write an essay for class like #in 10 minutes #eheh #sorry if this is messy i wrote this in bursts over like. a couple months.

[britswriting]

Desire (14)

Desire masterlist

read on wattpad

Double update. I wrote this in one sitting lol. Read 13 first!

T/W: Drug and alcohol mention - brief, mention of rehab

*Colby's POV*

"Wh-what?" Leighton stuttered, my heart racing.

"I.."

"Colby" She whispered, my heart feeling like it was going to burst.

I was speechless.

This is not at all how I thought this night would go.

"Do you.. wait" She paused, her face looking panicked.

Shit.

"Like.. romantically?" She asked and I froze.

Did I mean it romantically?

I think I did..

Why am I questioning it?

"Leigh-"

"No, wait!" She stopped me, jumping off my lap, starting Nova.

Nova's head sprung up to look at her, sleepiness clear in her eyes.

"Don't startle her" I told Leighton, petting Nova calmly.

"You startled me!" She exclaimed and I groaned, regretting my words.

"Romantically or platonically Cole!" She yelled, her body tense as she stared down at me.

"Both?"

"Colby!"

"What?!"

"You can't just go and say you love me!"

"Why not? I meant it-"

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" She yelled, myself now standing up so we were metaphorically on an even playing field.

"What's wrong with that? You know Leighton, I don't go throwing that word around loosely!"

"EITHER DO I!" She yelled, and Nova jumping off the couch, barking at us. "Nova!" Leighton scolded when she jumped on me and I just shook my head, shrugging the dog off my waist, her barks still in my ears.

"Come here Nova" I patted the floor, now sitting. I focused my attention on Nova, not wanting her to wake Gemma.

"Please stop yelling. Nova doesn't like it, and Gemma is asleep" I begged, Leighton's arms crossed over her chest. "Why are you mad that I said I love you?" I asked, intrigued yet confused.

"Because that's a big step! Something neither of us are anywhere near! We're not even dating! We've only known each other for almost a year, and we've only been friends for what.... 6 months? 7 months? You can't just say nice things, say you love me and expect it'll be okay! I- I'm not there yet! I.. I don't even know what's going on half the time! I barely know who I am, let alone how I feel about you! Do I love you platonically? Yeah. You mean a lot to me! But I.. I'm not in love with you Colby! And I'm sorry if that hurts.. but I'm done lying to you! I'm done protecting you! I told you in that truce that I wouldn't do that anymore!"

"I didn't expect you to say it back, Leighton, but I.. I want to rest easy knowing I told you. Knowing that when you go into treatment tomorrow, you know that. You don't have to believe me, or agree with me.. but I meant it"

"Why! Why do you mean it!" She whined, a cry to her voice.

"Do you want me to take it back?" I asked and she pouted, shaking her head.

"You said you meant it, even if you said you took it back, you still meant it!" She tossed her hand at me, her brow furrowed. "I.. why would you tell me that, if you know how nervous I am?!"

"That's why! That's exactly why!" I pointed out, my palm facing the air as my elbow rested on my propped up knee.

She sighed, cupping her face with her hands, "I don't understand" She exhaled, pacing a bit in front of me.

"You're nervous! You don't believe me when I say I'm all in, and I don't expect us to be on the same page right now, but I'm glad we both know where each other stand. I said I love you, because I meant it. Because I look at you, and know nothing can replace this! Yeah, it's messy. Yes, it could be better, or maybe healthier. Sure we have our moments, but who doesn't?! I'm not looking for perfection Leighton. I'm not looking for picture perfect every therapist points to us as the healthy, look at them! That's how it should be! Type of couple! I'm looking for us! For this! I can go out and date however many girls I want, but they won't compare to this! They won't get my mind racing the way you do. They won't get my heart beating the way you do. They don't make my stomach clench or flutter like you can! They don't have an adorable daughter who I'd fucking kill for! I said I love you, because I meant it. I didn't say you needed to say it back, or that this is some sort of ticking time bomb. I don't even know how often that phrase will roll off my tongue after this.. but you need to know how serious I am about this. I want you to know that when I babysit your daughter.. it won't be babysitting to me. It is a privilege you are giving me, because you trust me, and that means a hell of a lot more than you know. You trust me with your baby. An I love you will never replace the feeling I get in my chest knowing that you're going to rehab, and out of everyone you know, including your literal family, you. trust. me. So be nervous, be worried, be afraid of whatever this is.. but deep down, I know you know. I know you trust me. That you want this. It's fine to be scared. I'm scared too! I don't know what's going on half the time either. I'm not good at this. I fuck up all the fucking time. No one said this had to be perfect. I don't want perfection. I want love, trust, bonding.." I vented, my eyes staying locked on her own, even though she kept looking away from me.

"How aren't you afraid the same way I am?" She asked quietly, sitting down in front of me.

"I never said I wasn't. I said I was ready. There is a difference"

"But I'm not ready"

"I never asked you to be"

She let out a nervous laugh, "I don't like this game"

"It's not a game to me Leighton"

"You're pissing me off" She mumbled, catching me off guard, "What? Why?"

"Because I want to yell at you, but I want to kiss you" She grumbled, my heart racing a little more.

"I pick the latter" I replied softly and she laughed, "I bet you do" which made me chuckle, my eyes following her movements.

"I don't want to date whilst I go in rehab, or for a while after. I want to be stable, and ready... and take this time for myself. I can't work on myself, and a relationship. That's why I love you scares me. That's why I'm afraid. I.. I don't want to lose you, because I'm not ready. I don't know when I will be ready... I don't want you to pick me... and stay loyal to me.. if it will only cause you heartbreak and pain because I'm not ready. I'm working on being open, and honest, and not beating around the bush... I'm just... Colby, you mean a lot to me.. but I'm not ready and I won't apologize for that" Leighton told me, her eyes locked on mine, and I knew she meant every word.

"I never asked you to be ready, or apologize... and it's not your choice if I stay loyal to this or not. We don't have to date.. but I want you to know where I stand"

Leighton groaned, "This is where you stand now, but what about when I'm in the thick of my recovery, months from now?!"

I stayed quiet, having no idea where to even begin as a reply to that.

I've never done this before. A relationship, dealing with someone I care for going through such a big life moment, dealing with the before, and after effects of her going to treatment.

She's done this before.

She's been in a relationship before, for years. She's gone to treatment before. She's done this all before... Maybe she's right.

Maybe she does know more than I do about this.. but it doesn't change how I feel right now... but will I feel like this later?

I always go in on impulse... She's very logical. She thinks things through..

She's thinking this through.

Does that mean she wants this the same way I do.. or does she just want to let me down easily?

"Colby? Colby? Colby?!" Leighton's hand was waving in front of my face, forcing me to blink quickly at the feeling of air hitting my eyes.

"Sorry" I muttered, Nova plopping herself against my leg, causing my body to rock as I rubbed my temples. The sensation making me chuckle a little and glance down at the clingy pup.

"I'm sorry that this is complicated, and messy" She muttered, "I'm sorry I'm a mess" She whispered and I shook my head, pushing myself up onto my knees and basically crawling over to her.

"You're twenty one Leighton. You have an almost 3 month old, an ex-boyfriend who's across the country, a criminal record that's affecting you getting a job, and an apartment, and you're an addict. Messy isn't even the tip of the iceberg" I started, Leighton glaring at me.

"Gee, thanks Colby" She grumbled, but I chuckled, shaking my head.

"You didn't let me finish. I like the mess. I like the challenge. Not in some masochistic way, but in the sense of you keep me on my toes. Day in and day out, my life is pretty much the same other than when we take trips traveling to new places for videos. With you, every day has something going on. Whether it's me trying to figure out how to help you erase that criminal charge, or helping you watch Gemma, or even going over to your parents house for dinner........ there is always something. I'm not sitting in my room behind a desk all week editing, only to go get drunk and party with my friends when the weekend comes. I like the change you bring. I like doing this with you. I like the sense of pride I feel when we figure something out, or get closer to where you want to go. You're not ready, and that's fine. Maybe I'm not ready in the way I thought either... but just like you, I don't want this to change. How do I know that when you come out of treatment, you aren't going to drop me? Isn't that what you did to your old friends? You dropped them?" I asked, but it came out more as an accusation and I watched her jaw drop.

"You did not just say that to me" She stood up, giving us distance.

"I-"

"I can't believe you just said that. I.. you can leave now" She said, my jaw dropping.

Okay, this is not at all what I meant to have happen.

"No wait-"

"No! You just said you think I'm going to drop you like I did them!"

"Well"

"Well?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Colby! I fucking dropped them, because they did drugs! THEY DID THEM WITH ME! I was getting better! I didn't want to be around that! THE SAME GOD DAMN REASON I HAVEN'T TALKED TO ALEX FOR A WHILE! I'm- ARE YOU FOR REAL?!" She yelled.

"But what about-"

"WHAT?! WHAT ABOUT WHAT! I swear to god Colby!"

"What about those people you said chose Gabe over you!" I finished and she glared at me.

"What is Gabe to you? Some fucking saint? I might have been more fucked up, but that doesn't make him innocent. They were his friends first, they did occasional things.. I took it too far. There was one girl there, his now ex, who used to be a really good friend of mine. The person I am now, is very different from who I used to be. The choices I've made are nothing like what I would've done in the past. Are you using heroin in front of me? Are you smoking something laced with fentanyl? Are you drinking down vodka and snorting cocaine? No. You're not. So why the fuck would I leave you when I get out of rehab if you mean so much to me?!" She exclaimed, her shoulders slumping, showing her exhaustion.

"I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated" I apologized, but she shook her head.

"It's getting late. I need to finish getting ready, alone. I'll have someone bring Gemma to you tomorrow. Goodnight, and goodbye Colby" She tilted her head at me before calling for Nova and walking down the hallway.

Fuck.

I contemplated getting up and walking out, but I couldn't. I can't give up on us all because of a misunderstanding.

I don't know what my plan was, but I knew we couldn't end like this. Especially with her going away for a while.

I knocked softly on the closed bedroom door, Nova barking from behind the door.

"Go away Colby" She called out and I mentally sighed.

"Please?" I begged and after a few moments the door unlocked and opened, Nova and Leigh standing in front of me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come out the way it did" Is the first thing I said, having absolutely no idea where to go from here, or how to handle this situation.

"Sure sounded like it" She grumbled, walking over to her dirty laundry hamper. "I need to change" She muttered.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked, watching her move the hamper closer to her bed.

"I mean, either way I need to strip and shave and such"

"Remember when Aaliyah and I shaved your legs when you were pregnant?" I asked, smiling back at that memory.

"Yeah, it was embarrassing"

"It wasn't embarrassing. It was cute"

"Ah yes. Cute. That's exactly what I would've called it. Definitely cute. Some might even say endearing" She replied back sarcastically, grabbing a pair of shorts from a drawer.

"Some might" I replied back, a small smile on my face.

"If you want to stay, fine. I'm not pretty to look at though" She shrugged, tugging her sweats down and pulling the cotton shorts up.

"I beg a differ" I replied instantly and she ignored me, walking past me to the hall bathroom. I followed her, seeing her pull out some shaving supplies. "Hey, I'm sorry about the uncalled for comment with your friends. I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did" I apologized, Leighton moving swiftly around the bathroom.

"It's okay. I uh... do you have any questions about my past? I don't love talking about it.. but it's going to be all I'm doing for a little while. I can't promise I won't get emotional, or mad.. it's just.. they're hard memories" She explained, her back still towards me as she dug through a drawer.

I shook my head, forgetting she can't see me. "I don't think so?"

She looked over shoulder at me, "You don't think so? Well clearly you have some sort of questions in your ahead considering you felt it was okay to accuse me of repeating history with my friends"

"I said I was sorry"

"I want us to be open with each other. Look, I need to shave, think about it, okay?" She suggested and I nodded, watching her prep her leg.

"This feels weird" I murmured, watching her spread the shave gel.

"What does?"

"Watching you shave"

She stayed quiet, the razor moving effortlessly over her leg.

After a few minutes, I sat down on the tile floor, Nova barking down the hallway, scaring me half to death as the front door opened.

"Jesus" I held my hand to my chest, Leighton laughing at how badly I jumped.

"Gemma's crying" Leigh piped up, a sigh leaving her lips.

"Hm?"

"Gem's crying. Can you go check on her please?" She asked and I nodded, not hearing anything, but getting up anyway.

I walked down to the room Gemma was laid in, and sure enough, she was in fact crying.

I carefully opened the door, cooing at her so she knew I was there before hovering over her, talking to her softly as I picked her up.

"Someone needs a diaper change" I said in a sing-song tone, taking her over to the mat on the floor.

~

I laid in Leighton's bed, staring at the ceiling as she double checked her bags.

After about 10 minutes, she crawled into bed next to me.

"I should go home soon" I sighed, looking at the ceiling panels above me, tracing the lines.

It was quiet for a moment until there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in!" Leigh called, rolling over onto her side.

"Hey, I'm going to head to bed with Nova, do you need anything?" Cynthia asked, wearing a loose tee and some shorts covered in cartoon animals drawings.

"No, thanks though. Goodnight" Leighton replied, and I heard the door shut.

"It's nice she checks in" I mumbled, Leighton humming in response. "How has she been doing since Logan's departure?" I asked, Leighton now rolling onto her back, our arms brushing as she got comfy.

"It's been hard" She mumbled and I nodded to myself, not sure what to say.

I can tell Leighton is in her head, and I don't know if prying is a good idea or not.

I checked the time on my phone, seeing it was 10:45pm and that I really should head back to go to bed.

"Leigh" I spoke softly, waiting for a reply, only to hear her sniffles. "Leighton?" I asked, craning my neck to look at her. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head, wiping at her face.

"Leigh?"

"I'm scared" She whispered, myself frowning.

"Why?"

"It's scary Colby. It's scary to know that I'm going to go away, hopefully get help, and then come back.. and go down this road of recovery. It's not like going into a car wash and coming out clean and shiny. It's like having a broken down car and taking it in every week to get repaired, to maybe one day be okay. It's hard, and it sucks and I hate that I'm here again" She explained, rubbing her eyes.

I stayed quiet, trying to figure out how I'm supposed to reply to that.

"I hate this for her" her voice cracking.

"For-"

"Gemma. I hate this for her"

"Why?"

"She deserves the lawyer and doctor parents. The picket white fences, the private schools. She deserves to be the popular girl. The sporty girl. The nerdy girl. She deserves to be something extraordinary. Whoever she wants to be.. but she deserves a good family. A stable family. parents who aren't across the country from each other. Parents who aren't young and dumb. A mother who isn't going to rehab for the second time" She cried and I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

I reached over, pulling Leighton into my chest.

"You can be all that if you want it. Do you want it, Leigh?" I asked, my chin resting against the top of her head, her arm draping over my waist as she cried.

"Do you?" She mumbled against my chest.

"With the right person, of course. Do you?" I asked again and she nodded against my chest.

"But not here" She mumbled, which made me laugh.

"Yeah? Where would you raise your kids?" I asked my hand rubbing her back.

"Somewhere normal. Somewhere that isn't toxic beauty stands" She murmured, her head laying against my collarbone.

"Do you still want to move to Minnesota?"

"I think so, yeah. Would you want to go back to Kansas?" She asked me, our eyes meeting when I looked down at her.

I shook my head immediately which made her smile.

"Why not?" She laughed, my hand resting on her shoulder, her head laying against the crook of my elbow.

"I want better for my kids than being born in Kansas where nothing happens" I told her, meaning it.

"But you were born in Kansas, and look at you now"

"Yeah, but I left Kansas, and that's when things started getting better. I went somewhere where things happen"

"Would you ever want to move to Minnesota?" She asked, and I could see her eyes were still teary which broke my heart.

I hated watching her hurt, and having no way to fix it.

"Maybe. I liked it there. I would need to stay there for a longer period of time than just a week. Plus, I have my career here, and Sam.. but I could always fly here for work for a week or so, and meet up with Sam" I rambled, getting lost in my thoughts as I let the idea play in my head some more, but before I could think too deeply about the logistics, Leighton spoke up again.

"You don't want to stay in LA forever?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I've always wanted to retire in Hawaii"

"Like, for real, or as a like dream type of thing?"

"I mean, ideally yeah.. but right now it's just a dream. Have you ever been to Hawaii?" I asked and she shook her head. "Sam and I should bring you sometime"

"Hm, the same way you're dragging me to Italy?" She teased and I playfully rolled my eyes.

"Yeah. Against your will. Handcuffed, gagged and tossed in my carryon"

"Kinky" She muttered and I scoffed.

"If you think that's kinky, we need to talk. I can get behind the handcuffs and the gag, but the carryon?"

"I thought that was your thing. Mr. rough and tumble type of guy"

"My thing? How do you know about my thing?"

"I used to live with you, remember"

"Yeah, but-"

"Everyone knows your thing. We've talked about this remember, and I said I wouldn't want to be in handcuffs" She spoke like this was another daily conversation of me asking what was for dinner.

"Yeah, but you also said you couldn't talk about sex with me?" I cocked an eyebrow, Pulling her to straddle my waist again so I could see her face clearly.

"That was before I had your tongue in my mouth" She giggled and I smirked.

"You like my tongue huh?" I teased and she rolled her eyes, shifting on my waist.

"Shut up" She mumbled, a blush on her cheeks.

"You're the one who brought it up!" I laughed, making her cheeks turn more red. "Admit it, you miss kissing me" I teased and she shook her head, my hands on her hips. "Mm, I like you at this angle" I moaned lightly, Leigh softly slapping my chest.

"Shut up you perv" She laughed, going to roll off of me, but I stopped her, letting her fall against my chest.

"You're the one that said you liked my tongue"

"You brought up handcuffs and a gag!" She defended, myself chuckling as I placed my hands on her back.

"Maybe we're both horny" I whispered against her lips, holding a moan as she involuntarily grinded against my hips.

"We can't do this. Not in this state of mind" She mumbled and I nodded, agreeing.

"You'd want to have sex with me though?" I asked and she glared at me.

"No Colby. Why would I want to sleep with an extremely hot guy who also likes me?" She replied back in a sarcastic tone, yet somehow also no tone at all.

"Well like I said previously, you couldn't talk sex with me, let alone think about it"

"Hm... talking about was weird yeah.. but who said I didn't think about it? I can assure you, you have never touched me, but I sure have had some pretty good orgasms from you. You better get home. We have to get up early" She told me with a cheeky grin, my eyes wide.

"Wait, have you-"

"Goodnight Colby" She whispered before climbing off the bed, ignoring my calls as she walked down the hall to the bathroom.

What the hell just happened?

* * * *

Written on: July 30th 2022

Word Count: 3.9k

Part Fifteen

#colbybrockimagines #Sam and Colby #colby brock #colbybrockfanfic #wattpad

[havin-a-wee]

If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

#harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles story #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles blog #harry styles headcannon #harry styles au #dad!harry #one direction smut #one direction fanfiction

[marycecilyy]

Hey could you do headcanons for the mcl guys (or if not all of them castiel, armin, and kentin) when their S/O is a famous singer? Thank you❤

Oh god this turned out so longer than I expected huahahushaushu

First of all, these are too long to be headcanons, all three of them have more than 1k words each. Also, I changed a bit the prompt. It's more like "Candy has the dream of becoming a famous singer". The rest you'll see... I'll only say that I'm very proud of this one ;)

Castiel, Armin and Kentin with a Candy that wishes to be a famous singer

Castiel

Castiel wasn’t one to be friendly to new students, but he knew you weren’t like any other when you came to him and asked if Winged Skull was one of his favorite bands too. He was shocked to know that there was another person at Sweet Amoris who enjoyed the same bands as him. Yes, bands (in plural). After he answered that, yes, Winged Skull was his favorite band of all times, you started talking about your common interests and discovered that there were many.

He was a very closed off guy, but somehow you managed to break into his skull in a short time and, in a few months, you turned into best friends.

When Debrah came back and that whole situation happened, your fight with Castiel had a lot of impact over you. In your head, you had just lost your best friend forever. Fortunately. Lysander not only helped you recover from the blow and gave you energy to gather your friends and expose Debrah, but also helped you admit to yourself that, you did have feelings for Castiel.

Once she was unmasked and ran away like a coward, things quickly came back to normal. In less than one week, you had restored your reputation, your friends apologized for misjudging you, Castiel and you were once again friends. The only difference was that you knew that you were in love with him.

You didn’t tell him about your feelings right away, you decided to keep your friendship and focus a bit on your lifelong goal: become a music star. You started learning how to sing properly and doubled the days of your guitar lessons. Castiel even helped you get into the music club (they were full when you got into Sweet Amoris, but he found a way to enroll you).

You knew that your chances of actually becoming famous were pretty low, the market was difficult and depended a lot on having the right contacts. That was why, while you tried putting your name out there, your plan was to get a degree in music as soon as you finished high school. Antheros Academy offered a good education and was close, it was your best option.

As you channeled your energies towards your goal, Castiel started to acknowledge his own sentiment towards you. He liked to watch your focused face as you tuned your guitar and your singing voice earned a sweet accent all of the sudden. He always considered you a special girl, but, to his surprise, feelings were starting to develop inside his closed off chest.

That was why, as soon as he won those concert tickets on a raffle, he knew he’d take you there as your first date. Luckily for him, you accepted right away. Castiel had a feeling that night would be something else.

And it really was, as he kissed you, without even thinking it through, when the vocalist sung what he knew was your favorite tune. When you kissed him back, he wrapped his hands over your waist and lifted you up, feeling your warm lips open up for him.

The months that followed were full of bliss. With you and Castiel officially dating, the school had a lot to talk about. Amber pestered you quite a bunch of times, but that didn’t mess with your relationship at all. Everything was perfect, as it was supposed to be.

But that didn’t last long. Right after you finished high school, your dad had to move to another town because of his job and you had no choice but to go too. You were sure that your relationship would survive the distance, after all, you were in love. This situation would be worked out.

Castiel came to your new house a couple of times and you two called frequently, but in the end distance started to grow between the both of you… and it hurt. Knowing that Castiel was sad made you miserable and you decided to break up before it became unbearable.

You lost your count of how many nights you cried thinking about him.

4 years later.

You were zipping your jeans up when you heard a knock on your dressing room’s door. Who could it be? Your parents had already congratulated you over the phone, there was no one supposed to come that night. Did your manager schedule a press interview for after the show?

You put on your shirt and told whoever was on the other side to wait. When you finally opened the door, your jaw almost fell. You couldn’t believe he was there.

He looked exactly like in the magazines, (a bit less photoshopped, but that was to expect. You went through that as well and it sucked). His hair was shoulder-length and he wore a black shirt that showed off the tattoos up to the middle of his arm. He wore some light makeup, most on his skin, which you deduced his manager made him put on. Castiel looked like you expected him to after all those years, but one thing about him surprised you.

His eyes, although more mature and serious, had the same brightness as before.

"Are ya going to keep staring like that?” He asked and you noticed you had just been looking at him for a solid minute.

“Sorry. Come in.” You said and made space for him to enter the room. For your luck, there was nothing private to be seen, you had the habit of leaving your clothes and personal belongings messy and only cleaning up the second you had to go.

Castiel cleared his throat. An awkward silence hung between you. You hadn’t been alone with each other ever since the breakup. You two were two of the biggest stars of nowadays rock music, but you barely had any opportunity to talk. Not that you haven’t tried, it was the opposite. You avoided contact. Your fans knew you had dated in high school (you used to have pictures on your personal instagrams and fans were quick to dig over old accounts to find information about their idols), so they never expected a feat or any kind of collab. Everyone knew that you weren’t on best terms.

You remembered just a couple of days ago, when you were interviewed for one of those talk shows. The host made a lot of personal questions about Castiel and even asked if you would get back with him if you had the chance. You tried to avoid answering, but the public instantly read your unconscious signs: yes, you would.

That was why, you assumed, he was there. To make things clear. After all, because of you yours and his fans started shipping you two and got you on twitter’s trending topics. He probably was pissed. There was also a possibility of him wanting to take advantage of the situation, maybe propose a fake relationship? No, that wasn’t like him. Or was it? You barely knew him anymore.

“So… you probably guessed why I’m here. I saw your interview” You were right, then. “And I want to make things clear.” Ouch. You should prepare for the blow. “Look, we both know time has passed and we’re not the same as before. You broke up to avoid more suffering, and I get that. I really do.”

Castiel crossed his arms and glared at you. You looked back at him with fear, fear of knowing what his next words would be. “But...?” You asked.

“Tsk.” He huffed. This would be more difficult than he thought. “Look, little girl…” You felt a shiver run through your spine at the sound of the old nickname he gave you. You had always loved it, even though you didn’t say it out loud. After what felt like hours, he continued. “I don’t want to be cheesy, that’s not like me. So I’ll just say that if what all of the fans are theorizing is true.... If you do want to try again....”

Castiel took your hand and you jumped in surprise. He turned your palm to him and grabbed a pen from his back pocket. He wrote down a phone number on your hand and let go of it, capped the pen and turned around to go.

"That's my personal number. It’s pretty useful if you wanna call me without having to schedule an appointment with my manager.” You managed to laugh. You knew exactly how these things were annoying.

Inside, you were bursting with excitement. However, you answered playfully “Hm…. I’ll think about it, mr. Rockstar” Castiel chuckled and excused himself, saying that his manager would get pissed at him if he took too long. You smiled.

Maybe it was not over, after all.

Armin

When you told Armin, very early on your friendship, that your dream was to become a famous singer, he got so excited for you. He already knew that you played the guitar and was good at singing, but he had no idea that you wanted to make this your career path.

You couldn’t have chosen a better partner. Being the tech nerd that Armin was, he helped you a lot in recording your covers with the best quality possible considering the amateur camera and microphone you had.

However, the times that his presence most comforted you was when you showed him your new songs. He was always eager to see your composing progress and gave you pure honesty in his feedback, keeping in mind that he was no expert but still wanted to help you.

You always asked him for a way to return his favors, but he always said that it was his duty as your best friend to support you and that it was more than enough having you to talk about all his geek interests.

As time passed, you started to notice that you liked him way more as a friend. Without an idea of what to do, you asked Rosa and Alexy for advice. They were your closest friends apart from your crush (and you couldn’t run to him in that situation, duh)

After a dozen pro tips and date ideas from them, you decided to take Armin to the movies (basic, you knew, but couldn’t go wrong).

When you asked him if he was available Saturday night, you didn’t say properly “Hey, we’re going on a date”. Actually, you didn’t mention the word “date” at all, hoping that he would read between the lines.

And he did, because as soon as you sat and the film started, Armin grabbed your hand that was resting in the armrest and entwined your fingers. You couldn’t pay attention to what was going on screen at all and your attention was completely drawn from the movie when the boy grabbed your chin and brought your lips to his.

You only stopped kissing when the lights went on and the credits started scrolling.

“Hey…” You asked as soon as you two left the place, holding hands with him. “What was the movie about again?”

Armin laughed out loud. He teased you about it a lot before you made him confess that he didn’t know either.

A few days later, it was him who asked you out. You kept going on dates for the next week, all of them simple but interesting at the same time. However, you two weren’t dating. The whole school knew there was something going on between you two by the chuckles and timid kisses when you thought nobody saw them, but you didn’t make things official… yet. But that was about to change.

It was friday and you invited Armin over to “study” (he was sure that the afternoon would be spent between videogames and kisses, but if you wanted to call it a study session, it was okay for him).

As he comfortably sat on your bed as if it were his own, you told him to wait as you brought him some juice. When you came back, he was already grabbing his nintendo switch from his bag.

“What makes you think that we’re here to game?” You teased, handing him the glass.

“Come on, Candy, we both know that none of us are interested in learning orbital hybridization…”

“Maybe I am. I really need a good grade on those tests.” You approached him and held his jaw up so your foreheads touched. With a trailed voice, you continued. “Unless you have something more interesting to do in mind...”

Armin opened up that playful smile of his. “Oh, I do, actually.” In a quick movement that caught you off guard, he threw you in bed and started pampering you with kisses all over your face. You couldn’t stop laughing from how his hands tickled your belly, but you managed to stop him. “W-Wait, Armin!”

He looked at you, confused. “What?”

As you caught your breath, you explained that there was something you wanted to show him first. You got off the bed and went to grab your guitar that was hung up on the free wall of your bedroom.

“Did you compose a new song?” Armin deducted as you sat in front of him again, this time with your guitar in hands.

“You’ll see.” You tuned your instrument under his curious gaze. When you felt satisfied with the sound, you looked back at him. Armin didn’t miss the blush that coloured your cheeks. “I know you’d never do it, but I have to ask even so: promise you won’t laugh.”

You started playing the first chords of the song you had finished composing just a few days before. Usually, you composed simple songs that anyone could identify with, songs about friendship, inspiration, changing the world. You never wrote about your personal feelings. The notes never made you cry.

This song was special, though, because it was about him.

The day it hit you that you had feelings for him, you had the idea of writing random verses that could one day fit into a new song. After your first date, you felt so overwhelmed that, looking at the words, you decided to turn them into a song. You didn’t think it would turn into something so personal and emotional. Every note, every word, everything was clearly about him, that dorky geek you had fallen in love with.

Falling deeper every time

I can’t help but think, oh my

I’m through, but I don’t mind

Would you trade you 2D girls

For this hopeless lover

That just wants your heart?

I’ll just say that he got the message very clearly and, as soon as you finished playing, he practically jumped on you, kissing your lips with such tenderness that you almost teared up.

Of course, he asked you to be his girlfriend XD

Kentin

The first time he heard about your dream, he was still little Ken. It was one of your first days at Sweet Amoris and you two were eating cookies in the staircase. You were ranting about how sad you were that the music club was already full and you couldn’t join. Ken asked you the reason why you were so upset.

“Well… There weren’t those kind of classes in our old school. Learning how to play an instrument and sing, even during extra classes would be so cool! If I went well, maybe I’d be able to convince my dad to pay me for some private classes and then I’d be one step closer to my dream!”

“Your dream?” Ken muttered.

“Yeah! I want to become a famous singer in the future! I know that it’s impossible and even kinda silly, but-”

“No, Candy! It’s not silly at all!” Ken said. Learning more about you made him happy and he didn’t want you to think for even a second that your dream was worthless. “You shouldn't be ashamed of dreaming big. You’ll have a long, difficult path to walk through, but when you get there - and you have my word on that - I’ll be cheering for you!”

“Ken... “ You flashed your best smile at him. It meant a lot to you to have his support, he was a kind person and a very good friend (he did cross a few limits with his adoration for you, but you weren’t bothered by it). You liked being around him a lot.

-x-

“Kentin!” You threw yourself in his arms and gave him a tender kiss. “Good morning.”

Your boyfriend chuckled and held your hand, walking with you through the hallway. You talked about how your weekend had been and, between light smiles and sweet kisses, you thought of how quickly things changed between you two.

When he came back from military school, a lot of things had changed in him, including his nickname. You were facing a new person and it had been a challenge discovering Kentin and building a new relationship with him.

Even though he was a different person from before, one thing didn’t change at all and you noticed it clearly: he still liked you. Obviously he was no longer that guy who professed his feelings to everyone and followed you everywhere, he had found new ways to show you his love. You enjoyed that more mature version of him, but wished he had the opportunity to grow into a man without all the trauma he went through. You knew that most of his growth had been through suffering, and that upset you.

You didn’t know when, but somewhere into your friendship you started to grow feelings for him too. After some coaxing from Rosa and Alexy, you managed to ask him out on an official date.

The whole school already knew that Kentin was head over heels for you, but everyone was shocked to know that you loved him back as your relationship became official.

“Hey, love.”

“What?” You asked your boyfriend back as soon as you got in front of your lockers. You started looking for your books, checking that day’s classes.

“I really liked that video you posted on youtube yesterday. I never heard that song before, did you compose it yourself?”

The book you held in your hand fell to the ground. “What video?” You whispered, eyes wide.

“What do you mean, babe? That video of you singing and playing the guitar. You uploaded it yesterday night. I saw right away, you know I have my notifications turned on to all your videos. I got surprised that you decided to finally show your face and sing something of your own and- Candy? Is everything okay?”

Kentin noticed your face and got worried for you. You looked absolutely terrified.

“That video… How did you see it? I posted it as private”

“No, you didn't. It was public.” Kentin was starting to understand why you were so surprised. He put one hand on your back as you blushed and hid your face on his chest in embarrassment.

“Oh god, I can’t believe I did that! I’m so stupid! The first time I record something like that, I accidentally post it for everyone to see! Dumb, dumb Candy! Dang, now everyone’s gonna know I’m bad!”

“First of all.” Your boyfriend frowned, bringing you close to him. “You’re not dumb, you just made a mistake. And it’s okay, probably just a few people saw it. Last time I checked was before I went to sleep and it only had 20 views. But why are you so upset, Candy? Didn’t you tell me a few days ago that you were finally ready to show your face along with the covers. Did something happen to change your mind?”

“Well, I was not ready to show right away, especially not in a video that I looked terrible in. And it’s not just that. It was my first original song. I never showed it to anyone, what if it sucks?”

Kentin held your chin up and looked you in the eyes. “Candy, it doesn’t suck and you look great in the video!” You closed your eyes and snuggled close to him. “But I understand your concerns. Luckily, that can be solved if you delete the video. You’ll have other opportunities to get famous, and with better videos.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” You reached for your phone and went to your youtube page. “Fu... No way…!”

Your hands trembled. Kentin was right, the video had few views (which was good). Only 50 people had seen it, but the problem wasn’t that. For your bad luck, one of those people had been Amber. You knew that because she had left three comments on your video.

AmberOfficial: lmaooooo

AmberOfficial: Thank you for the laughs. That’s hilarious

AmberOfficial: Just give up already, looser

“That girl....” Kentin grunted, looking at your phone screen. “I swear to you, Candy, I’ll make her regret this. I’ll-”

“You don’t need to, I’m fine.”

You untangled your arms from his torso and started walking away, trying your best to hide how upset you really were. Amber was right, your music sucked. You should give up on your dream of becoming a famous singer, not only because you were bad, but also because you could barely show your face to a few people without feeling like shit. You wouldn’t be able to deal with fame.

Kentin tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. He figured you needed some time alone. He could use that time to think of something to support you and get back at Amber.

-x-

You walked out of the bathroom, your eyes red and swollen from crying. You had already deleted the video, but you couldn’t stop feeling stupid for getting so upset by a few bad comments. And feeling stupid made you even more upset.

When you got to the hallway, it was empty due to classes having already started. You probably spent half an hour locked up, but at least no one would mess with you.

You went to the garden to get some fresh air and wait until the next class started. You sat at the bench, breathed in and finally calmed down a bit.

“Candy.”

You turned around, surprised to see your boyfriend. “Kentin! What are you doing here? Classes have already started.”

He just waved his hand in a “don’t worry about that” way and sat beside you. He kissed your cheek and took your hand, checking how you were. Seeing that you seemed to be more calm, he smiled lightly at you. “So… I talked to Armin. He already found out Amber’s password and he’ll hack into Amber’s youtube account. He’ll just mess with it for a bit, delete some videos and upload some random stuff. Nothing too bad, I promise, just some memes and rickrolls.”

“Hmm…” You muttered, thinking about what he said. It wasn’t right, for sure, but you didn’t feel like stopping them. You were still hurt. “Okay. Just promise you two won’t do something serious, okay?”

He agreed. You felt a bit better, but that wasn’t enough to lift your mood and Kentin knew that. That was why he also had something else prepared. "That 's not all. I did some quick search for places where you could record that music of yours with its deserved quality. You are a good composer, Candy, believe it. Your talent doesn’t have to stay hidden in a dark room with only you, a guitar and your cellphone recording it.”

“Kentin…”

“If you want to, I’ll help you rent a studio and record your song. That would be very useful for your portfolio. I know that’s expensive, but we can find ways to-” You cut him off with a kiss. He cared about you so much, to the point of skipping classes to think of ways to make you feel better. You loved your boyfriend so much…

Lucky. You felt lucky to have him.

“I love you. Thank you for taking care of me... “ You kissed his cheek, happy to have his support. That was more than enough at that moment, Amber’s words were far behind you. All that mattered was that you could go through this.

You had Kentin, and when you had him, you had your whole world holding you so you wouldn’t fall.

#my candy love #mcl headcanon #mcl hcs #my candy love headcanons #mcl writing #writing #my writing #my candy love writing #castiel #my candy love castiel #mcl castiel #mcl armin #mcl kentin #my candy love kentin #fluff #mcl #2nd person pov #headcanons #hcs

[latenightdecaf]

Entry 7 - Summer of Vulnerability

part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist

previous entry here

Yoongi x reader

Ft. nonidol!bts (glimpse of ex-boyfriend!namjoon)

Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi

slow burn romance, friendship, slice of life

series of drabbles/one shots

warnings: alcohol consumption

a/n: okay so here goes y/n remembering his ex!joon also will never get over of in the soop yoongi! can’t wait for the new season. Thank you guys for reading! 🙈

word count: 2,546

Went home from the grocery and some of their wines are on sale so you got carried away and bought 8 bottles and to your surprise, Yoongi’s cooking steak. “oh my God!” You exclaimed as soon as you saw him cooking in the kitchen with paperbag of wines in your arms. Yoongi looked at you with a confused face.

“Did you just read my mind or what??! There’s a sale on the corner deli and…” raising both of your hands as if surrendering, “okay don’t judge me yet but i got a little carried away.”

“A little carried away? You looked like the world’s going to run out of wine tomorrow.”

He smiled on your disclaimer and shaking his head as he paid his attention back to his steak.

“No.” You sighed. “Nothing went my way today, not at all—but i dont want to think about it. I’m psyching myself out of it you see, or better yet i’m drowning myself on these babies.” As you drank your first glass empty. “My eternal companion, the love of my life…”

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

“Come on clear the tables, your babies are not going anywhere.” He declared as he puts down 3 steaks and some aglio olio with honestly way too much garlic because it’s Yoongi.

“I didn’t saw you made pasta also. I am so happy now.” You happily exclaimed as you took a bite of your new favorite steak. “But why the 3 steaks? You hungry?”

He sat in front of you, filling your glass with wine and his too.

“You need food before you chug them all up. I’m not gonna clean up your mess. So you better get it together today. I tell you.” He scolded you.

“Sure sure.” As you immediately devour the pasta he made.

One bottle of wine down. He let you listened to a ‘sketch’ he’s been working on lately. Carefully studying your already flushed face for any reaction. He does this sometimes, ask for your opinion even though you have zero idea about music and producing or anything related to that for that matter.

All he considers is whether you winced at the melody of it, or you nod and eventually smile as it goes. But this time you’re just staring blankly in your wine glass, circling it repeatedly as the sketch ended at exactly 2 mins and 19 secs. And when it ended you looked straight at him.

“This looks like it’s almost done right?” You commented. “Yeah.” As he gulps on his wine, emptying another glass.

“And you wrote the lyrics also?” He nodded.

You looked away and sighed. “It’s too beautiful—Sad and in pain, feels tormented also but beautiful.”

He blinked several times at your words. You’ve heard several of his sketches before and you’d just always say, ‘it sounds good, but Yoongi—i have no idea about music. Zero.’ But he’d let you hear it anyway for couple more times and he’d smile at your ignorant reactions.

This time however, doesn’t seem like a laughing matter. Something about your words got his heart beating faster and he has no idea if its just the amount of alcohol he has consumed by now or just you.

You clinked on his empty glass. And asked, “You want more?” He nodded. And you poured him another. “Remember the girl, I introduced to you before?” You stopped and think for a second and it dawned to you. “Hell yeah, I remember.”

“She’s actually my ex-girlfriend.” He declared.

“Well that I did not expected. The ex part. I can tell though she looks really special.”

“Well, we’re together for a while. But now we’re just co-workers for this debut song of a girl I told you about before. That’s why she was here also the last time, we were looking through old sketches that I have after the meeting. We actually finished that quite early. ”

He never really talked that much about himself. He’s good at talking about work, which for you is already more than enough. You know that despite your living situation, he’s not really obligated to get personal if he doesnt want to. And besides, you also don’t want to. Your end of the rope for sure is scared of any form of vulnerability anyway—so you’re not expecting or demanding that from anybody else.

“So you’re just co-workers now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t know what I feel.”

“Well, relationships are messy my friend.” Raising your glass of wine as if to cheers and chugging it in one go.

Not sure of what to say next but he looks like he’s in mood to talk but the topic looks too sensitive to even crack a joke so you continued drinking despite the eerie atmosphere.

“If you dont mind me asking, what happened?” Yes, despite your immense effort to hold yourself back. Like any other novel you read, you have this eager feeling to know how it ends. Your mind is literally shouting, ‘But I gots to know!!’

And so you asked. Half fearing for your life for being too nosy and half expecting that you might be up for a good story. Elbows resting on the table, with your chin at the palm of your hand looking eager to hear the story.

“We’ve been together for a while”

“Yeah, you said that already.. and that she’s a song writer. I figured.” Unconsciously saying your thoughts out loud.

“You wanna tell the story instead?” He teasingly reacted in a straight face.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I literally said that in my mind and my mouth just burst it open. They both can’t coordinate that well. I’m sorry. You may continue…sir. Please don’t cut my head off.” You love teasing him.

“You’re drunk.” He was pointing out the obvious by that time, after two bottles of wine.

“Yes she’s a songwriter. They said before thay she’s the words to my melody. Well… before.”

Something about those words just made your heart ache. Frowning in his words you continue to listen.

“We’re together for about 2 years? And then on and off after…. She cheated on me, slept with another producer from another company. I really thought that was the end but after that i still accepted her. I don’t know why.”

“Aigoo you dumbass solider of love. And then??” Continuously frowning in frustration led you to keep on drinking.

He has no plans of actually telling this story tonight, it just poured out. You’re just one of those people that actually listens. He has seen you before, how intensely you focus on a movie or in a book that it bothers you for day. You love hearing stories and your willingness felt like a safe space for his unspoken scars.

“She keeps coming back to me and I keep accepting her. That’s it.”

With a confused look on your face, “I don’t get it.”

“Like you said, relationships are messy.” He’s obviously trying to close the topic already but that’s not going to stop you—you never stop midway of the story. This is not how it ends.

“Messy is one thing, toxic is another. And since when are you a coward? You don’t strike me as one. Really.” ‘Yeah i was.’ Yoongi thought in his head. Words are just literally pouring out of your mouth by now, drowning yet another glass. Yoongi opening your forth bottle.

“Boy, I bought the wrong alcohol tonight, tequila would’ve been perfect.” You declared as he pours you a refill. He laughed at this comment, he kept wondering sometimes how easy it is for you to make him laugh.

“No but all kidding aside… Hard question coming in, Min Yoongi. Do you still love her?” Looking right at his eyes and him staring back at you as he answered. “No, we broke up a month before I moved in here.”

‘That’s quite a while, at least 9 or 10 months now…’ you thought to yourself

“Yeah but having been broken up doesn’t mean that love is gone. It’s not a switch you know.”

“I know. And I wish it was, she’s was a big part of my life I’m not denying that and maybe she always will be. But I’ve changed, she has changed—we’re no longer the same people that we were in the same relationship where I keep questioning my self worth. That’s done now, over. Love took a turn, and it doesn’t look the same anymore. We’re just co-workers now that’s all.”

You like the way he said it. Being no longer the same people that they were. You nodded in his statement not sure what to say next and also feeling a little dizzy.

“I gotta pee.” You suddenly declared and stood up, ran in small steps to the bathroom with Yoongi smiling at you and shaking his head.

And when you got back, he got you a warm water on your favorite mug.

Your thoughts are all over the place when you’re drunk, like you said—your mouth just spills it all out.

“You know what, this is all very brave of you. Being friends with your ex, I can’t imagine.”

“Why? Can’t you?” Staring blankly and holding onto your mug, eyes blinking fast in this question.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really done it before, I’ll let you know if I can.”

You’ve been staring hard on your mug contemplating on his question. He gently touched your hand that’s been holding your mug and said, “Just drink your water.” And pulled it away as soon as you looked like your soul has comeback to earth.

“Can’t I…?” You repeated the question again, and this time out loud.

Hands underneath your chin and resting your elbows on the table. Yoongi is just staring at you, hands in his cheeks—thumb underneath his chin, not even sure if you can even see him. “I hate your question.” You looked at his eyes this time and said that and he just smiled and when he did, you narrowed your eyes. “I hate your smile too.” And this time, he gave you an even bigger one, those gummy smile. And whenever he smiles at you like that you just can’t help but grin in return.

You chugged the water and showed him your empty mug.

He got up and put the rest of the unopened bottle of wine back to the fridge just to prevent you from opening yet another. With his back facing you, arranging the couple of bottles left unto your fridge.

“Yoongi-ah, I know and I love how we respect each other’s privacy and all but just in case things get too heavy. I’m always here, you know. I mean, I’m really glad about today.”

He looked back at you, hands underneath your chin again and eyelids looking all heavy.

“Same goes for you, I’m always here…” And he turned his back again, “fixing you some food and light bulbs.”

And that statement made you smile. “Indeed, my friend. Indeed.”

He went back to the table and grabbed your wine glass and emptying it for you.

“So you wanna talk about how nothing went right today?” You sighed with your eyes closed.

“Maybe next time, my friend.” You stood up from the dinning table, offered to clean the rest of the dishes but Yoongi insisted that he’d do it instead. So you just nodded and slowly creep back into your room.

“Thanks for today, Yoongi.” You thanked him before you go, peeking behind the wall near the counter and he just smiled at you, cleaning gloves on and started washing the dishes.

Minutes later, you shouted from inside of your room.

“Hey i’ll be in the bathroom for a while. Hope you’re already done using it.”

Yoongi didnt answer. He’s already in his room.

You sat in the tub filled with water that is too hot for anyone else but not for you. Head all dizzy and pounding. It’s 2 am and nothing is more comforting than the silence of it all. Alcohol keeps you awake, more than coffee ever does. The dizziness, the feeling that is drilling in your head, makes it hard for you to sleep. Despite the fact that you always drink. You always drink on an empty stomach though, just so you’re sure you would pass out and not have a hard time sleeping.

But tonight you can’t say no—Yoongi made dinner and as much as you hate how you’re having a hard time now you don’t regret it. The question he said, still lingers. And you know your answer to this, you can’t.

Along with the headache, comes the memories you rarely remember—there are just some special days where somehow the guilt and regret still comes to you in waves, together with conversations you long to let go.

“You can’t be serious?” Joon said, voice cracking with hand on his hair in frustration. “But I am.” With a straight face you answered, “I can’t marry you, Joon. I don’t want to have kids and I know how much you want to have children.” Feeling the desperation in his face and actions, he held your hands close and hugged you. “I love you, I want to marry you. We don’t need to have kids immediately, that’s years away. We don’t have to even worry about that now.” It hurts you to seem him this way, yes both of you may be young—maybe you will change your mind but there’s no guarantee to it. You held onto his shoulder to see his face, tears kept rolling down his face and you keep wiping it off one by one. You’ve thought about this even just a year into the relationship, with all the dad jokes and tiny little shoes he kept in his room. He’s going to be a wonderful dad you thought—maybe not just to your kids because you don’t want one.

The most wonderful man in the world just asked you to marry him a few minutes ago, and now he’s crying on your shoulder in defeat. While you can’t even bring yourself to cry, everything about this just made you numb. You just know you’re doing the right thing. Keeping him by your side with a promise of a future you can’t guarantee is not what love is. You loved him—even much so that you could ever admit.

With the knock on the door, you went back to reality.

“Hey you in there?” His voice echoing at 2 in the morning.

“Yeah, I’ll be here still for a while. You need it?”

“No, it’s okay.” He quietly said, as you heard his footsteps getting farther away.

moodboard sr: x

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts scenarios #bts roommate au #yoongi fics #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenarios #yoongi imagine #roommate!yoongi #producer!yoongi #namjoon imagine #namjoon scenarios #exboyfriend!joon

[dilly-oh]

Trashy Romance Novel

    “Naruto, you frigging idiot,” Iruka began hotly, barging into the hospital room, “of all the stupid, brainless things you could have done, this is by far the-”

    He stopped. 

    The person lying in the small bed was definitely not Naruto. It was a grown-ass man with messy gray hair and a faded scar over one eye, the sterile white sheets pulled up over his nose, apparently sound asleep. Iruka stared at him for a long moment, dumbfounded, before it clicked. 

    Oh shit, he thought. This is the wrong room. I'm in the wrong room. I need to hurry up and leave before- 

    The stranger's eyes cracked open and he squinted up at Iruka in confusion.

    “...Who're you?” he croaked out. Iruka managed a rather articulate gurgle of dismay, frozen in sheer mortification. He considered the distance between him and the IV drip, wondering if he could dose the man back to unconsciousness before he could scream or buzz for a nurse. “Are those for me?” the man asked, sitting up in bed to regard the bouquet of flowers in Iruka's arms. He opened his mouth to disagree, but then the sheet slipped off the man's face, and Iruka suddenly thought giving him the flowers might not be such a bad idea. He definitely deserved a thank you after gifting him with...that. He didn't even protest as the alarmingly handsome stranger reached out and took the bundle of flowers, opening the card on top. 

    “You're a dumbass. Love, Iruka.” he read aloud, then looked up at Iruka, batting his eyes. “Aww, babe, you shouldn't have.”

    “Whoa whoa WHOA!” Iruka finally blurted out, his face burning half from embarrassment at the situation, half from the thinly-veiled flirting. “I'm sorry, sir, there's been a mistake. I'm in the wrong room and-”

    “You mean you aren't my doting husband I tragically forgot about due to amnesia and now you have to win back my love by passionately recreating the story of our romantic union?”

    “Excuse me, WHAT-”

    “Sorry, I've been reading trashy romance novels. They're the only books this hospital has. Can't blame me for trying.” The man shrugged, then reluctantly handed back the bouquet. “Who's the lucky person they're actually for? Must be someone real special if you're calling them a dumbass to their face.”

    “My kid brother,” Iruka explained with a sigh. “He's here with a head injury.”

    “Ouch.” The man winced in sympathy. “Poor kid.”

    “Not really. He head-butted a brick wall.” 

    “...May I ask why?”

    “Because his stupid boyfriend walked into it and he had to, and I quote, 'defend his honor'.” Iruka paused, looking the man up and down. Despite being a bit on the pale side, he looked perfectly fine, pun very much intended. It was almost unfair how well he pulled off the hospital gown (although Iruka would much rather be the one pulling it off, wink wink, nudge nudge). “So...what're you in for?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Was...was it the crappy romance novels? Did they rot your brain?”

    “I have an extremely rare, aggressive form of cancer with only two weeks left to live and the only cure is a kiss from my one true love...” The man swooned back onto the pillow and looked expectantly up at Iruka, who rolled his eyes. 

    “Yeah they definitely did-”

    “Alright you got me. Broke my leg.” He pulled the sheet off his lower half, revealing his legs, one of which was wrapped in a cast, propped up on some pillows. Several encouraging words from friends were scrawled on the white surface in marker, one of them a jarring green highlighter. It almost hurt Iruka's eyes to look at it. 

    “...How did you break it?” he asked, unable to contain his curiosity. 

    “I heroically threw myself in front of a speeding car in order to save the life of my beloved-” 

    “Okay how did you really break it?”

    “Tripped chasing after my pug at the park,” the man admitted with a weary sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat. 

    “...Is the dog okay?” Iruka asked after a long pause.

    The stranger burst out laughing. It was a nice laugh, warm and contagious enough to elicit a chuckle out of Iruka, who was growing more and more intrigued. He couldn't deny the spark of attraction he felt for the other man, spontaneous as it was, and it seemed to be reciprocated. He didn't even know his name, but something about the man made Iruka want to know more about him. Maybe this was like some trashy romance novel, where the two would-be lovers met under unusual circumstances and fell instantly in-

    “Hey, Kakashi,” a man with short brown hair said, suddenly walking into the room, “I brought the next three volumes of your shitty porn series from the hospital library and a couple pairs of clean underwear, so you can stop fucking texting me the specific style and brand you want from home, you're so damn picky-” He stopped dead as he caught sight of Iruka, pausing for a beat, then glanced at the man in the bed, his eyes darting nervously between the two. “Umm...am I...interrupting something?”

    A cold pit of ice yawned open in Iruka's stomach. 

    Oh my GOD. Here he was, borderline flirting with some stranger in a random hospital room, when obviously the man already had a boyfriend and Iruka was just making a complete ass of himself. The flirting had probably been misinterpretation on his part anyway, and if not, the guy was a total dick. Either way, enough was enough. His face aflame with rage and shame, Iruka spun towards the door. 

    “I need to go.”

    “Hey, wait!” Kakashi or whatever his name was called after him. 

    Iruka was already out the door, ignoring the man's cries. Screw him, and screw Naruto, too. He was the cause of this whole mess. Iruka would just text him later. He was probably making out with Sasuke anyway and wouldn't even notice his brother hadn't popped in to visit. Iruka needed out of this hospital NOW. He turned towards the stairs, immediately got lost, and spent the next five minutes growing increasingly flustered as he stormed through the winding hallways, desperately searching for the exit. Why the fuck was the hospital so damn BIG-

    “Hey! Iruka! Hold up!”

    Iruka spun around to see Kakashi speeding towards him in a wheelchair, his boyfriend dutifully pushing him down the hallway at a dead run, IV dangling after him on its cord like a faithful dog. The wheelchair stopped with an audible squeal in front of him.

    “What- where did- did you steal that?!” Iruka hissed in outrage. 

    “Of course not, don't be silly,” Kakashi protested, sounding offended. “The guy it belongs to was asleep in his bed. I'm just borrowing it. I'll return it later. Anyway, Iruka-”

    “Were you flirting with me in there?” Iruka demanded, cutting him off. “Be honest.”

    “Abso-fucking-lutely,” Kakashi said without an ounce of remorse. “So can I have your number or what?” Iruka bristled. 

    “You're a piece of shit! I can't believe you, hitting on me like this right in front of your boyfriend! You have some nerve-”

    “Wait...boyfriend?” Kakashi cocked his head in confusion. “You mean Yams?”

    “The fuck do YAMS have to do with anything-”

    “Hi, that's me,” the short-haired man said, raising a hand. “Yamato, actually. 'Yams' to my friends. Which is what we are. Just...friends.” Iruka scowled at him suspiciously. 

    “Friends? Don't fuck with me. You brought him underwear-”

    “Really close friends,” Yamato reiterated. “Also, roommates. It's awful. I can't get away from him.” Iruka studied him for a moment, but couldn't spot any hint of deception. The man's almond-shaped eyes were surprisingly honest.

    “So you two...aren't dating?” he asked hesitantly. Yamato gave him a horrified look.

    “Dear God, NO. Kakashi is the WORST. He's lazy as hell, procrastinates til the last minute, is perpetually late to everything-”

    “You are a shit wingman-” Kakashi began. 

    “He needs to know what he's getting into,” Yamato snapped at him, then turned back to Iruka. “Seriously, though. You should run while you still can. There's hope for you.”

    “Don't listen to him,” Kakashi cut in. “I'm a fucking catch. Which is exactly why you should let your flaxen hair down, rip your shirt open to reveal your heaving bosom, and throw yourself into my arms-”

    “Will you cut that out?!” Iruka burst out impatiently. “Life is not a trashy romance novel.”

    “You sure about that?” Kakashi said, quirking an eyebrow. “Because I met you in a hospital through total coincidence. After really hitting it off, we had a misunderstanding brought on by miscommunication. Then I chased after you in a fucking wheelchair to declare my undying attraction to you. If that isn't a plot to a trashy romance novel, I don't know what the fuck is. At least it's not raining right now.”

    “I dunno, it might be drizzling,” Yamato said, glancing at a window.

    Iruka paused, considering.

    “I guess it...would make a pretty good book,” he admitted quietly. “The only thing is...I'm not sure what happens next.”

    “That part's for us to write,” Kakashi said, his tone eager. “Only we can complete the story.”

    “Aaaaand I'm going to puke,” Yamato stated. 

    “Sorry, we crossed the line from 'trashy' into 'sappy'.” Kakashi shook his head. “Anyway. Iruka. Please, I'm begging you. Let me sweep you off your feet. Just...give me a chance.”

    “I'll do you one better,” Iruka said after a pause. “I'll give you my number.” Stealing a marker from the nearby nurse's station, he bent and wrote his cell number on Kakashi's cast, then straightened and held out the bouquet. “Here, you can have these. The message works for you too, I guess.”

    Kakashi accepted the flowers with a laugh, taking an appreciative sniff. 

    “And now, I shall ride dramatically off into the sunset,” he said with complete seriousness. “Come, my valiant steed. Awaaaay!”

    “I will push you down the stairs,” Yamato grumbled as he spun the wheelchair around and started back down the hallway. Iruka watched them go with a fond smile on his face, giddy with anticipation. 

    He was eager to read the next few chapters in his life.

    Including the steamy bits. 

(Written for @kakairu-fest KakaIru Month 2021, Day Twelve Prompt: Hospitals)

#kakairu #KakaIru Month 2021 #hatake kakashi #umino iruka #naruto #hospital au #crappy romance novels #all the cliches

[redheadedpineapple]

Can i by chance get a continuation of the Yandere Spinner (Key) fic? Like i really want to know what happens next, does he go back? Does he take some their stuff?

YES YOU CAN I WAS VERY EXCITED TO SEE THIS THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST AAAAA

i hope you like it, this is what i was planning on since i wrote the first part (found here)!

──────〔Spinner〕────── Word Count: 772 stalking, panty snatchin lizardman, yandere elements, m mastybation, spinner being a general creep, NSFW!!!, corruption kink-ish i mite make a part 3 but it’ll be way darker KLDJSIFES

__

It had been 2 months since he first let himself into your apartment. Since then, he’d gotten more and more risky with his actions. The second time he entered, he met your cat you’d talked so much about. Lala took no interest in him, and he went about snooping through your bedroom. He thought he’d been rather generous, only opening some drawers to see what was in them.

The third time, he brought Lala a treat, and she trotted towards him to accept the gift. He liked to think of it as a peace offering; she would stay quiet about it for a nice meal. Not that she could say anything, but he thought it was a nice way to think about it.

As he dug through your things for the first time, he thought of your sweet face smiling up at him as you took your seat on the train, pretty little arms tucked close together as to not take up too much room. He thought of how that loose, white shirt gave him such a pretty view of your skin and collar bones, and knew he couldn’t resist taking one of your work shirts from the hamper. You had several identical shirts, surely you wouldn’t mind.

He hadn’t planned to take anything, so he had to shove it into his hoodie pocket and act natural despite his insides bubbling. As soon as he was in his own apartment and own room, he collapsed onto his messy bed and pulled the shirt from his pocket.

Instinctively, he pushed the fabric into his face and savoured the feeling. The soft fabric held that pretty scent of yours he loved. He closed his eyes and imagined you peeling off your clothes, just for him. Using those nimble fingers of yours, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers. Wrapping them around his cock and looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes. He thought of you taking him in your mouth, eager to please him.

He pulled his cock out, rubbing his thumb over the top to spread his precum. He pretended it was your hands, curiously pumping his dick in attempts to pleasure him. And pleasure him you would. Just the thought of you pleasured him plenty, and he couldn’t help but pump faster, letting desperate moans out, groaning your name as he came.

Gently setting your shirt aside, he cleaned himself off with tissues and sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He was such a freak, wasn’t he? God, he didn’t deserve you, he was so dirty compared to you. The thought gave him shivers throughout his body.

The third time he broke in, he lingered for half an hour. As he returned your shirt into the middle of the clothes bin, he couldn’t help but dig through it all. Pretty, pastel undergarments taunted him, and he couldn’t help but curl his fingers around them.

While he planned on taking it home with him, he couldn’t wait, finding solace in the comfort of your bed rather than his this time.

The fourth was when he got a copy of your spare key made. He kept the original and replaced it with the copy. The original was much more special to him.

The fifth was when you found him in your apartment building. When you asked about it, you meant no harm, but he could feel his heart nearly burst from anxiety.

“I uh, was here to visit a friend, but they kinda ditched me…”

Sympathy swam in your eyes---god those eyes---and he could tell from the way you hugged your body just how bad you felt. He pushed it.

“We were planning it for a while, but they’ve been dipping for the last couple months.” Hopefully, that would double as an explanation if any of your neighbours saw him around.

“Oh, I’m so sorry… Uhm, I know it’s not the same, but if you’d like, I wouldn’t mind having you over,” you offered quietly.

He brightened up at the suggestion, and you couldn’t help but smile too. He accepted in a heartbeat---he thought about dragging it on, ‘Oh, I don’t mean to intrude…’ but he wasn’t taking chances---and followed the familiar route up to your apartment. When Lala greeted him kindly, you were surprised at how fast she’d taken to him.

“Jeez, she’s usually so rude to guests, running away from them and hiding. I guess you must be pretty special, huh?”

He couldn’t help but smile. It must be something like fate, he thought, chuckling to himself. “I suppose I should come visit her more often, then.”

#spinner #spinner x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #yandere #x reader #mha #mha x reader #yandere!spinner #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere bnha x reader #yandere spinner x reader

[wetforgrayson]

I love you / Grayson Dolan 

Word count: 1k

Summary : You wake up from a weird dream, and Grayson realises how much he adores you while you rumbling your dream to him in the middle of the night. First time saying I love you and fluff shit. 

A/n : English is not my first language.This is very random, I don’t even know why I wrote this. The dream is inspired by one of the tweets I saw. That’s all, enjoy x

   You opened your watery eyes in panic in the dark, and it took you a couple of seconds to remember where were you. The arms that wrapping your body tightly giving you a hint about it, causing you to feel relaxed immediately. You could feel Grayson’s chests rising against your back, and his peaceful snores were filling the room.

There was a heavy feeling on your chest. You thought about what caused the sad feeling for a second, and then you remembered the ironic reason. Your weird dream started to play on your head, this time making you smile wide at how ridiculous it was. Not necessarily a sad dream, you couldn’t even call it a dream if you were being honest. Just straight up weird comedy.

The more you thought about the dream, the more it got funnier. You try to hold your laughs in and fall back to sleep. Your boyfriend’s calm snores making you feel sleepy, but only for a second before your dream came to your mind again.  Your silent smile turned into a small chuckle, but before you know it, your body was shaken from your giggles. Scared to wake Grayson up from his peaceful sleep, you try hard to be silent.

Grayson on the other hand was never really a light sleeper. He could sleep through a storm or even an earthquake, however, since he started to sleep with you, he was determined to open his eyes with every single sound he hears. Just to make sure you were completely fine in his arms, and there wasn’t anything threatening your safety. Feeling your body shake triggered him out of his sleep, overprotectiveness jumped right out, he pulled you closer.

“Are you okay, baby?” His raspy voice sounded worried, but he tried to use a soft tone knowing its effect on calming you.

You stopped holding yourself back and laughed out loud now that you know Grayson was up. You didn’t have a logical reason for laughing in the middle of the night, and that only made you laugh harder. Grayson was relaxed that you were not crying, hearing his favorite melody in the whole world warmed his heart. Even though he was confused and a little sleepy, he couldn’t help to laugh with you. You turned in his arms to face him. You always love the sight of sleepy Grayson, he looked so cute and cuddly.

“I just had the weirdest dream..”  He giggled watching your excited expression, running one hand through his messy bed hair and looking gorgeous doing so.

“Oh, yeah? What was it?”

“Listen, babe, you’re going to love this. I was talking to this subway rat, he was looking at-“

“Wait, you were talking to a subway rat?” He interrupted, laughing hysterically at how normal you made it sound.

“Yes! And he was so cute, I think I called him Yoda, not sure why.”

“Jesus Christ, and it was a he?” You stopped to genuinely think for a second -you would hate to misgender your dear rat,  obviously- Grayson’s face was hurting for smiling so much, to save you from thinking more he said “Okay, whatever. What were you talking with him?”

“Oh, he said “Join us, when the train comes we slide under the tracks and feel it rumble over us like a warm thunderstorm. We live forever and love to live.” You try to imitate your rat’s tone and it made Grayson bursting out laughing.

“What the fuck?” You both were laughing loudly, Grayson rolled his body next to you and bury his face on your neck while laughing. You keep laughing until your face was literally hurting from it.

“I said no, thank you, I am too large.” Grayson now was wheezing, eyes getting watery while he watched you laughing hard but trying to tell your absolutely insane dream at the same time.

“He turned away from me and I cried.”

“You cried?” He asked, it sounded dramatic than he meant it to be.

“Don’t laugh Gray, it was really sad. He looked really disappointed with me.”

Grayson held his breath for a second to actually stop laughing but he failed when he saw you pouting. You both start to laugh, holding each other close until you calmed down.

“I’m sorry the rat left you, baby, I’m glad you didn’t leave me with him though.”

You chuckle whispering “I would never.”

You watch each other with a huge smile,  Grayson’s hand caressing your cheek lovingly.

“I’m sorry I wake you up.” You kissed the inside of his hand that was on your cheek. He leaned in to give you a heart melting kiss. It easily turned out to be a sloppy make-out session. Your wet and warm mouth moving was the only sound in the room and it made your stomach twitch with how hot it sounded.

“ I love you so much.” He pulled out from the kiss to whisper these words, making you froze in your place while your heartbeat a hundred times harder on your chest. During the one month of dating, you both kept these three words to yourselves. Not wanting to spill them too early and ruin the magic these words carrying. You didn’t expect him to say it this early, you also didn’t expect yourself to get this emotional. You were at the edge of the tears.

“You don’t have to say it back baby, I just want you to know it. I love you very much, and I hope I get to wake up to the sound of your laughing every night until the very last day. “

“I love you even more.” You managed to whisper back, tears are filling your eyes. Your voice sounded so soft that Grayson had to keep himself from sobbing. He cleared his throat while turning you on your back and cuddling you tightly.

“We have to sleep now, baby. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.” You nodded your head, feeling Grayson’s lips soft touch on your hair. You have a smile on your face and it looked like it wasn’t going to be fading any time soon while you have Grayson by your side.

#grayson dolan fluff #grayson x reader #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fluff

[eastasianfeelings]

couple things: Jooheon

Summary: Jooheon tries to bake you a dessert. Why? Because he feels like he needs to.

— requested by Anonymous: “oh your writing is so good <3 i love it a lot esp your jealousy series ^^ would it be ok if you wrote something domestic for monsta x? like a house husband or smth concept lol, for whichever of the members ^^”

Author’s note: sorry this took so long! OTL

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: a tiny bit of angst that gets resolved immediately through communication because my soul is Allergic To Angst

*

One Friday evening, you look up from your work laptop and sniff the air. “Heony? Is something burning?”

There’s no response. Ominous.

You save your work, lock your computer and get up from your desk to investigate the burning smell.

It’s dark out; you didn’t realize how much time had passed since your last break. There seems to be some kind of noise coming from the kitchen, and you head there.

“Jooheon-ah, are you — ?” You round the corner and stop, surprised. “Oh, hi Kihyunie! When did you get here… what’s going on?”

Jooheon and Kihyun look up from whatever they’re doing with the oven, which, judging by their distressed expressions and the smell in the air, isn’t going very well. Jooheon’s in a squatting stance, holding the oven door open, while Kihyun seems to be trying to extract something with tongs and an oven mitt.

“Wait, nuna!” Jooheon stands and lets go of the oven door. “It’s not ready yet — ”

“Hey, don’t let go!” Kihyun yelps as he yanks his hands back just in time.

“Be careful, guys.” You enter the messy kitchen and reach for Kihyun’s hands. “You okay, Kihyun-ah?”

“Yeah,” he says sheepishly, letting you remove the oven mitt and inspect his hands. “Sorry, I should’ve said hi when I got here a while ago.”

“It’s okay, I was probably in a meeting anyway.” You pat his hands before letting go and moving to Jooheon’s side. “Heony, what’s going on?”

His bottom lip is starting to stick out. “This was supposed to be a surprise.”

“What’s ‘this’?” You crouch down to look into the oven door.

Jooheon tugs you back to your feet and tucks you into his side. “Wait! It’s not done yet.”

You can’t help smiling at his pout. “It kind of smells done, Jooheon-ah.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Kihyun says, “um, we thought your skillet was oven-proof.”

“You… burned my skillet?”

“I’ll buy you a new one, nuna,” Jooheon says promptly.

You chuckle. “You don’t have to. Just tell me what you were trying to do.”

He squirms. “Nothing, really.”

“Nothing, really?” You raise an eyebrow, then turn to Kihyun. “Hey, Kiki, want to tell me what Jooheon called you over for?”

“Okay, fine.” Jooheon tugs you back to face him before Kihyun can answer. “I was trying to bake you a dessert, all right? Don’t laugh.”

“A dessert?” you repeat, surprised. “Why?”

He flushes a little and looks away. “You’ve been working overtime all week… I just wanted to do something for you while I’m home from tour.”

Wow. You’re touched. “Thank you, Heony.” You peck his cheek. “You know you don’t have to do anything for me, right? Just being here is enough.”

Shyly, he meets your eyes. “But I want to.”

Smiling, your heart full, you give him another kiss, this time on the lips. He responds eagerly enough that Kihyun decides to give a light cough to remind you of his presence.

You pull back from Jooheon and look round at Kihyun. “Right, so, you’re here to provide baking expertise, Kihyun-ah?”

“I didn’t know he wanted to bake,” he says immediately. “I mean, I’m an okay cook, but I’m not a baker. I wouldn’t have touched your pans if he hadn’t made me, nuna, honest.”

You laugh and pull free of Jooheon’s grip to go over to Kihyun. “Don’t worry, I’m not blaming you. Thanks for trying to help.” You pat his cheek, then take the oven mitt and put it on. “All right, let’s see what we’re working with here.”

The smell only worsens when you open the oven and reveal the sad remains of what looks like a brownie cake, which probably explains the cocoa powder dusted lightly over both Jooheon and Kihyun. Holding your nose, you gingerly pluck out the burned pan.

“The recipe said it was a ‘fool-proof’ skillet brownie,” Jooheon says mournfully. “And I even called hyeong for back-up.”

“Hey, I didn’t come over here to be called a fool,” Kihyun shoots back. “Why didn’t you pick something I can actually cook?”

“It was supposed to be special! Nothing you usually make is special.”

“Excuse you??”

“Okay, guys,” you interrupt, suppressing a laugh. “How about takeout for dinner? Sound good?”

*

At your insistence, Kihyun stays for dinner. It’s the least you can do after he’s helped out with Jooheon’s baking adventure. The two of them fill you in on the latest progress for Monsta X’s next comeback, and you laugh until you cry at the stories of their tour shenanigans. When Kihyun says it’s time for him to go, you see him off with a full stomach and fuller heart.

“You can come by anytime so long as you promise not to touch my oven,” you tell him, and he grins and says he’ll take you up on that.

You close the door and return to the kitchen to find Jooheon staring at your burned pan in the kitchen sink.

He looks up. “Let me buy you a new pan, nuna,” he says, eyes big. “Please?”

In the face of his adorable persistence, you can’t help but acquiesce. “All right, all right. You can whip out your card the next time I’m shopping for pans, okay?”

Jooheon smiles, eyes immediately disappearing, and surges forward to take your arm and tug you to the living room. “C’mon, let’s order one now.”

You laugh as he sits you down on the couch and hands you your laptop. “I meant the next time we go out shopping, Jooheon-ah.”

“But we don’t know when that’ll be.” His smile collapses back into a pout. “Why not just buy one now?”

“I should probably do some research first so I can get one that’s oven-proof next time,” you joke.

“No, but — ” He sits down beside you and pushes in close, slinging an arm along the sofa behind your back. “Who knows when you’ll need that kind of pan, right? It’s better to have one than none at all.”

You chuckle wryly. “Heony, I haven’t used that pan in a month. You know I cook even less than you do.”

“But nuna.” Jooheon presses in closer, lips pursed in a tantalizing pout.

You can’t help stealing a quick kiss. “What is it, Heon-ah? Why do you want to buy me a pan so badly?”

“It’s not… I mean… ” He huffs out a breath. “I don’t want you to go shopping with my manager-hyeong again, okay?”

???

“EH?” you ask, boggling. “Shopping with your manager? When did I —”

“You know that one time!” Jooheon bursts out, sitting back. “When you came to see us after that radio schedule! You and Manager-hyeong had gotten the couple drink set from the bubble tea shop!”

“Couple drink set… ?” You rack your brain, and locate a faint memory of picking up bubble tea before heading to the radio broadcast station. “Heon-ah, I just wanted to try the specialty drink, and none of you guys drink bubble tea, so I gave your manager the extra, that’s all!”

“When Minhyuk-hyeong pointed it out, Manager-hyeong turned totally red!” Jooheon crosses his arms.

“Minhyukie was just joking around, trying to embarrass us on purpose. You know it didn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah, well, you’re my girlfriend. We’re a couple.”

“Your manager-hyeong knows that.” You keep your tone soothing even though you kind of want to smile at his petulance. “I really just wanted to drink that specialty tea, honestly. You believe me, right?”

At that, Jooheon’s stiff posture softens, even though you can see him struggling to keep his expression stern. “Still,” he huffs, “I… want to be the one sharing those couple things with you. I want to do those kinds of couple things with you.”

“I get it, Jooheon-ah.” You lean in and give him a kiss. “We can, and we will, all right? We’ll do everything you want to do together.”

“...Yes.” He finally relaxes and returns your kiss warmly. When he breaks contact, he doesn’t go far, looking into your eyes. “I feel like we’re apart so often, nuna. I really wish I could make up all that time, fill in all that time to be the kind of couple we should be.”

Oh, Jooheon.

You cup his face in your hands. “There’s no should. We’ll be the kind of couple we want to be. Okay? Don’t feel like you have to make up anything. You know that’s not what I want from you.”

“I know,” he acknowledges softly. “I just... want to make sure we are. A couple, I mean. I want us to feel like we’re together.”

“We are together. We’re together because we love each other, as we are. And that’s enough.” You look him in the eye. “Yes?”

He looks back at you steadily, then nods, once. “I love you,” he murmurs, and kisses you again.

“Love you too,” you whisper, in between kisses. “I love you, too.”

After a few minutes pass:

“So… can I buy you a pan now?”

*

#jooheon #monsta x #eaf writes monsta x #jooheon x reader #monsta x fic #jooheon fic #joohoney #joohoney fic #I hope this isn't trash #eaf original

[captainamericasbeard]

Warm Cinnamon (Prequel to Honeysuckle Girl)

Honeysuckle Girl

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 1,686

Warnings: None.

Summary: Y/N moves into the Tower and she’s overwhelmed by the scent of a certain Alpha. 

A/N:  My daughter was throwing up at 3 o’clock this morning and this dropped into my head. It’s the prequel to Honeysuckle Girl, a drabble I wrote for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ a few weeks back. Read it in chronological order or release order, whichever you chose. Fair warning, there’s no actual Bucky in this one but isn’t the thought of his scent almost enough? 

“You’re really going to like it here, everyone is really nice,” Steve says, making small talk as the elevator speeds its way up to the residential levels of the tower. You smile nervously at him while your hands fidgeted.

“I’m not going to lie, I am nervous,” you said.

“There’s no reason to be,” the alpha replied, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. The elevator reaches its destination and the doors glide open with a ding to reveal a modern yet cozy living space. Large couches and plush chairs surround a huge tv. To your left is a hallway that seems to lead to private bedrooms. From your right you can hear boisterous laughter and the sounds of cooking.

As you step off the elevator you catch a scent. It’s not fresh but it’s there and it eases your nerves head to toe. It’s all warm cinnamon and spices and leather thats been in the sun. You breath deeply looking for the source of the scent but there’s no one there.

“You okay?” Steve asks at your sudden stop. You realize you’re standing still with your nose slightly in the air and your eyes closed. You shake your head to clear your thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry. I just smelled something is all,” you reply.

“Probably dinner. It’s Italian night and Sam goes a bit heavy on the garlic. Hope you packed your toothbrush,” Steve says chuckling at his own joke. You have to laugh at him as he puts your bags down by the elevator and leads you to the kitchen.

The whole team is gathered there and it’s an intimidating sight that stops you in your tracks. Your overwhelmed with the scents of all the alphas in the room but none of them is the one you caught by the elevator. Your shoulders slump slightly in disappointment.

“Team, meet Y/N. Y/N, meet the team!” Steve announces and every eye turns towards you. They’re all friendly smiles and waves and a girl with long red hair gets up to wrap you in a warm hug.

“I’m Wanda! Let me introduce you around,” she says, kindly hooking her elbow in yours and guiding you around the room. She introduces you to everyone and settles you at the table next to her as dinner is served up. You fears and nerves are quickly calmed in the presence of these heroes. After a dinner of traditional spaghetti and meatballs and a dessert of tiramisu (Sam really goes all out) Steve catches you yawning into the back of your hand.

“Ready for bed?” He leans over and asks quietly.

“Yes, please,” you murmur sleepily. Steve gets up and announces your departure to bed while you stand and offer a wave to the group. Wanda stands and gives you another hug.

“Movies and drinks tomorrow night, yeah?” She asks glancing at Natasha.

“Absolutely,” you say, giving her hand a squeeze.

You follow Steve into the hall where he’s grabbing your bags. There’s that scent again and it gets stronger as you move down the hall. You stop in front of a closed door.

“Whose room is this?” You ask Steve, feeling rather sheepish.

“That’s Bucky,” Steve says, “he’s away on a mission. Left today.” The disappointment is clear on your face.

“For how long?” You ask.

“Couple of months at least. Sorry kid.” Steve says, chuckling at your obviously smitten state. He gently puts his hand on your back and leads you to your room. He opens the door to a beautiful cozy room complete with flowers on the bedside table.

“Wanda’s been pretty excited for you to move in. She’s the only omega in the house so I think she’s been looking forward to a friend.” You smile thinking of Wanda as you open your bags searching for a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

“Thank you Steve. For everything,” you say and the alpha gives you a quick squeeze before he leaves closing the door behind him.

You toss and turn for a few hours until you hear everyone’s doors close for the night. Once it’s all silent you sneak from your bed, down the hallway to Bucky’s door. Looking to your left and right you silently open the door and slip into his room. It’s simple with a messy bed, a set of drawers and an overflowing bookcase. But more importantly it smells wonderful. You lean against the closed door as you breathe in his scent for a few minutes. You feel totally relaxed as waves of spices and leather wash over you.

You know you can’t sleep in here so you slip over to the open closet and sneak out a well worn hoodie. You slide it on and zip it up letting the warmth of Bucky’s scent envelope you. You tip toe back over to the door and slip out, closing it behind you. You turn around and there’s a super soldier leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a shit eating grin on his face.

“Watcha doin’, Y/N?” He asks.

“Nothing!” You reply.

“That’s Bucky’s favorite hoodie, you know.” You wrap your arms tightly around yourself as if Steve is going to try to wrestle the hoodie away from you.

“I can tell,” you say a slow smile stealing over you features.

“Alright,” Steve says with a sigh, “back to bed, kid.”

“Okay, Dad,” you joke sticking your tongue out at him as you follow him back up the hall. You slip into your bed and pull the hood over your head. You breathe deep and slip off into a sleep filled with dreams of a mystery man you’ve never met.

————

Over the next 3 months the entire team learns of your crush. You get caught sneaking out of Bucky’s room several times. Sometimes you slip in there when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Othertimes you just want to feel close to him so you lie in his bed while you scroll on your phone. And you’ve started walking around in his clothes which is pretty much a dead giveaway. Even clueless Clint eventually figures it out.

Sam teases you mercilessly about it. When you learn he’s in contact with Bucky you have to promise to do the washing up for 2 weeks to keep him from saying anything. Nat thinks it’s sweet. You had been most intimidated by the super spy at first but after a few movie nights you realize she’s and old softie with a romantic streak. Wanda shows you pictures of Bucky and you’re pleasantly surprised to find he’s the handsomest man you’ve ever laid eyes on.

One day Steve comes into the kitchen at breakfast and announces that Bucky will be returning the next day. Your heart skips a few beats and your stomach does flip flops while the rest of the team turns and looks at you.

“What?!” You cry out, crossing your arms defensively.

“Whats your move, kid?” Sam asks. You sit there with your arms crossed, staring at your empty plate and worrying your bottom lip for a few minutes. An idea crosses your mind and you look to Wanda to see what she thinks. The red head easily reads your thoughts and gives a shrug of her shoulders while she nods.

“I think it could work,” she says nonchalantly.

“What?” Sam asks impatiently. You swiftly get up from your seat and dump your plate in the sink as you scurry out to put your plan in action.

You go out and buy beautiful fresh white linens and a new white comforter for Bucky’s bed. Then you come home and spend hours meticulously crafting the loveliest nest you ever seen out of every pillow and blanket you can find in the tower. Finally you put on your favorite bright yellow scarf and curl up in the nest to take a nap, letting your scent fill the room. When you’re done sleeping, you curl the scarf up in the middle of the bed. An offering for having taken so many of Bucky’s clothes.

The next day is torture. Your a bundle of nerves, annoying everyone as you pace the tower and wait for Bucky. Finally around 3 o’clock Steve finds you and informs you that Bucky probably won’t be in till past midnight. You look as though you could burst into tears.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I know how anxious you are to meet him. I can smell it off of you.” Steve says with a kind smile.

“It’s not that Steve. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he hates my scent. What if I’ve been dreaming about him for 3 months and it all means nothing.” You spilled out all your fears as Steve wrapped you up in a hug. Steve was all sunshine and fresh cut grass and while it was nice, it wasn’t Bucky.

“He’s going to like you, I’m sure of it. And the way you caught his scent when you first got here, the way it was the only thing that could calm you down at times, I honestly think you might be true mates. Try not to worry about it too much. Just see what the morning brings, okay?” You pull away and nod your head.

You stayed up as long as you could but eventually Steve was shaking you awake on the couch and Bucky still hadn’t come.

“Get some sleep kid,” he says as he shoves you off to bed.

“Okay Dad,” you tease. You get to your room and pull on Bucky’s favorite hoodie, zipping it all the way up. It doesn’t smell like him anymore, it mostly smells like you, but you take comfort in the fact that it’s his. You crawl into bed and you’re asleep within seconds.

Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning your consciousness stirs at the sound of the elevator dinging. A warm inviting scent wanders down the hallway, slips under your door, and tickles your nose. You sigh deeply in your sleep and roll over feeling calm and comforted like you haven’t felt in months.

#Bucky Barnes #Alpha Bucky Barnes #alpha bucky barnes x reader #alpha bucky x omega reader #alpha bucky

[solieldoux]

when brush meets canvas; a collection of thoughts and happenings ( @wclfsun​ )

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, snu campus tour

he’s  not  listening. ethan  liu  has  the  attention span  of  a  a  goldfish when  it  comes  to  irrelevant things.  there’s  the  center  of  the  campus, there’s  the  café  (there’s  great coffee  there!),  dorms are  that  way,  class  buildings one  and  two  over  there  (  “  they’re  close  together  so  you  don’t  miss  classes!” )  …  so  on  and  so  forth. he  can  keep  pace  with  the  group  well  enough on  auto-pilot.  the  ‘highlights’  of  the  greater campus  are  irrelevant to  a  student who  plans  to  spend  four  semesters  holed  up  in  a  dorm  room.

“  sorry!  i’m  so  sorry!! “

he’s  rather  responsive for  someone  on  auto-pilot.  she  crashes  into  him  out  of  nowhere. his  arms  reach  out  to  catch  her  and  stabilize them  both.  it’s  not  until  after  he’s  done  it  that  ethan  truly  realizes that  something  happened, and  he’s  got  his  arms  around  a  brunette  who’s  expression  reads  utterly  horrified by  her  own  actions.

he  lets  her  go,  waving it  off,  “it’s  fine.  you’re alright?”

yes  she’s  alright, and  she’s  very  sorry,  and  she’s  sometimes so  clumsy,  and  she  wants  to  make  it  up.  ethan  continues to  wave  her  off,  shaking his  head  because it  really  is  fine.  it  takes  some  talking  down,  but  she  ultimately  accepts it,  and  she  shifts  herself off  to  the  side  a  bit  so  she’s  not  walking  so  closely  to  the  man  she’d  just  collapsed  into.  

ethan  sighs.  the  walk  continues. now  they  know  of  each  other’s  existence; any  time  they  catch  glances he  gives  a  small  nod  and  she  alternates  between mouthing  ‘sorry!’  and  giving  him  a  gentle smile.  he  finds  it  funny. and  it  makes  the  rest  of  the  tour  considerably less  grating.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, coffee shop

ahh.  that’s  why  she  asked  what  my  coffee  order  is  the  other  day.

leia  is  settled at  a  small  café  table  –  in  front  of  her  a  tall  glass  of  iced  coffee  and  a  slice  of  crumb  cake.  across from  her  in  front  of  the  opposite, empty  chair  is  another  cup  –  this  one  a  large  ceramic cappuccino  mug  with  two  slices of  lime  set  on  a  separate  dish  to  the  side.  it  too  is  accompanied  by  a  slice  of  cake.

“  did  you  wait  long  ??  “  he  asks

she  didn’t  wait  long  at  all,  she  just  got  there  a  little  early  and  decided to  order  for  them!  she’s  fine  with  paying  for  it,  and  ethan  certainly shouldn’t  worry.  she  hopes  she  ordered  the  right  thing, she’d  written  down  what  he  said  a  few  days  ago  about  liking  to  mix  lime  into  his  coffee.  she  thinks  it’s  very  interesting, and  she  almost ordered  it  herself. and  she’s  talking and  rambling  to  much  and  she’s  sorry.

ethan  is  to  used  to  her  by  now  to  be  phased. he  simply  sits  in  front  of  her,  lets  her  ramble  a  minute  while  he  adds  the  lime  to  his  drink  and  takes  a  fork  to  the  cake.  after  a  moment  she’s  quiet,  shyly  looking  down  at  her  own  setting. ethan  shakes  his  head.

“  you  worry  to  much.  “

she  knows.  she  can’t  help  it.  

“  i  owe  you  for  this.  “

no  he  doesn’t! it’s  completely  fine.  she  doesn’t mind.  and  ethan  doesn’t  care,  as  he’s  already  reaching across  the  table  to  pocket the  receipt. leia  sighs  a  bit.  she  just  wanted to  be  nice.  ethan  tells  her  she’s  nice  without trying,  and  it’s  one  of  the  many  reasons  he  likes  being  around  her.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, leia’s apartment

leia  is  rambling, as  she  always is.  only  this  time  she  rambles  while  dumping  new  dishware  into  the  sink  and  unpacking boxes  of  this  and  that  and  things from  home  into  cabinets  and  into  drawers. ethan  is  listening, as  he  always is.

if  he  doesn’t want  to  enroll in  snu,  then  he  shouldn’t! he  should  definitely join  two  star  if  that’s what  feels  right. and  she’s  supportive of  his  decision. and  yes,  it’ll  be  harder to  start  school without  him  if  he  chooses not  to  go,  but  she’ll be  alright!  and  they  can  still  text  and  hang  out,  and  everything  would  be  fine.  and  she’s  seen  some  of  the  lyrics  he  wrote!  and,  oh,  they’re so  good  no  wonder  two  star  entertainment extended  him  a  contract!  

she’s  practically  bouncing up  in  down,  bubbling  up  with  all  the  excitement one  would  expect ethan  to  have  after  receiving a  personal  invitation from  the  company’s ceo.  but  he’s  just  standing there  with  his  arms  crossed, watching  her  with  one  brow  arced  and  a  smile  tugging  at  the  corners of  his  mouth.

“  when  was  the  last  time  you  took  a  breath?”

leia  pauses,  her  body  going  stiff  for  a  moment as  she  manually takes  in  a  breath,  then  lets  it  out  again  with  an  embarrassed  smile. she’s  just  so  happy  for  him.  and  she  wants  what’s  best  for  him  and  wants  what  makes  him  happy. ethan  moves  towards her  and  puts  his  arms  around  her  waist.

“  i  have  a  lot  to  be  happy  about  these  days.  “

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   four years ago, leia’s apartment

over  the  past  year  or  so,  ethan  has  come  to  learn  how  every  aspect  of  leia  is  soft  –  lips,  voice,  demeanor.  more  recently,  he’s  learned  that  the  rest  of  her  body  is  no  different.  the  discovery  wasn’t  by  chance.  it  was  planned  and  executed  with  comfort  and  assuredness  in  mind.  the  location,  however,  was  a  bit  unplanned  –  the  intent  had  been  the  bedroom,  but  the  living  ended  up  serving  just  as  well.  and  that,  ironically,  turned  out  to  be  for  the  best  as  ethan  discovered  something  else  that  very  same  afternoon.

leia’s  back  is  a  wonderful  canvas.  the  better  part  of  the  next  hour  had  been  spent  in  quiet  conversation  as  he  brushed  unplanned,  but  ornate  designs  onto  her  skin.

“  it  washes  off.  “

she  knows.  she  wouldn’t  really  have  let  him  do  it  if  it  was  permanent.  or  maybe  she  would  have.  maybe  his  art  would’ve  become  a  beautiful  back  tattoo.  she  wants  a  picture  of  it  when  it’s  done,  because  she  can’t  see  for  herself  what  she’s  doing  and  it’d  be  a  shame  to  wash  all  his  hard  work  away  without  remembering  it.

why  do  i  love  you  so  much?

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   two and a half years ago, leia’s apartment

he’s debuting! she’s so excited, and she always knew it would happen. there’s no way ethan would’ve gotten two invitations to the company if they didn’t want him. imagine how different things would’ve been if he’d gone to snu instead! she misses him a bit when she’s alone on campus, and she does sometimes think it would’ve been fun to go together. no wait! oh, she didn’t mean to say that. she shouldn’t have said it, and she doesn’t want him to worry about her. because she’s fine! she’s doing great on her own! she’s only got a couple more years and then she’ll be graduating, and everything will be fine.

“ i’m moving into the dorm this week. “

she’ll help him pack!

“ you can’t come to the trainee dorms, leia, i’ll get in trouble.”

oh right.

her smile is still soft and gentle. their relationship had been quiet and incredibly comfortable til now. never something either of them spoke to openly about. not out of shame, but just out of natural inclination to not speak to often about personal matters to other people. but now it’s necessity.

“ …. no one knows about you except hyunsik. i think it needs to stay that way. it’s for your safety, ultimately.”

it’s okay! she completely understands. she doesn’t want to jeopardize his career and she loves him enough that she’s okay with keeping things quiet. really, she’s fine. she’s completely okay.

ethan wraps his arms around her tightly, presses his lips to her forehead. he’s never wanted to shout that he loves her more than right now. more than this moment where he’s realized that he can’t.

“ i love you. “ he settles for a soft whisper in her ear.

she loves him too.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   six months ago, d:fi dorm

“  ethan  ?!  yah  –  ethan  !!  “

the  force  of  leaving  the  trance  sends  ethan  tumbling off  his  chair  and  onto  the  ground where  he  catches himself  on  all  fours.  

“  you  okay  ??  you  weren’t  responding …  can  you  hear  me  now??”  hyunsik asks,  kneeling  by  his  side  and  putting an  arm  him.  

ethan  shuts  his  eyes,  squeezing them  so  tight  that  he  feels  pressure in  his  forehead, “…yeah.”  he  says  finally.

the  past  hour  of  his  life  is….  nothingness,  as  far  as  ethan  can  recall.  but  the  state  of  the  dorm  room  indicates  otherwise. dropped  brushes,  a  tipped  over  cup  of  mucky  water. tubes  of  acrylic paint  are  scattered across  the  floor, some  burst  open  from  the  force  of  being  stepped on.  paint  had  splattered  onto  the  wall  and  floor, even  onto  some  of  the  furniture.  his  easel  is  turned  over  on  it’s  side,  and  the  canvas ethan  had  been  working  on  lay  on  the  floor, slightly  smudged  due  to  making contact  with  the  bedframe  before hitting  the  ground.

“  what  were  you  doing  ??”

“  i  don’t  know.  my…i’ve been  off  recently. i  don’t  know.”

suddenly  ethan  pushes himself  up  and  whirls  around to  look  at  the  painting. he  feels  a  pit  form  in  his  stomach  as  he  examines it.  it’s  messy, it’s  smeared  with  dark  reds,  browns,  and  auburns.  but  he  knows  exactly  what  he’s  looking at.  the  creature hunting  them  all  –  the  being  known  as  aries  –  holding leia  aloft.

his  hand  is  around  her  neck.  she’s  bleeding  profusely. her  body  is  limp,  but  her  eyes  are  wide  open  in  horror.  the  sight  breaks lose  tears  form  ethan’s  eyes,  and  hyunsik snatches  the  painting up  and  turns  it  around.

“  stop  it.    leia  is  fine.  ethan  –  leia  is  fine.  “

“  you  don’t  know  that.  ”

hyunsik  puts  himself between  ethan  and  the  painting, places  both  hands  on  his  forearms  and  squeezes  tightly, “  i  do.  two  star  is  protected. and  leia  is  right  downstairs.   there’s  nowhere  else  she  could  be  that’s safer.  she’s  fine.  she’ll  be  fine.  nothing’s going  to  hurt  her.”

ethan  uses  all  his  force  to  push  hyunsik  aside. the  elder  doesn’t expect  it,  and  so  he  tumbles  to  the  side  and  into  the  bedframe. ethan  snatches  the  painting  back  up  and  flips  it  over,  trying to  understand  what  part  of  his  brain  decided  to  concoct  this  monstrosity  of  an  image.

what  is  this  panic  induced nightmare  sitting  at  the  forefront of  his  mind?  why  is  his  stomach sinking  the  more  he  looks  at  it?  why  does  it  feel  so  real?  so  possible? so…inevitable?  he  feels  the  tears  begin  to  fall,  and  they  plop  onto  the  canvas,  causing bits  of  it  to  run  because  of  still  wet  paint.

hyunsik  gets  up  again  and  tries  to  pull  the  painting  from  ethan’s  vice  grip.  the  elder  ultimately wins  the  scuffle, and  the  painting is ��pushed  off  to  the  side  of  the  room  face  down  and  smeared across  the  floor. ethan’s  body  racks  with  sobs  as  hyunsik pins  him  down.  loud,  anguished cries  as  realization  sets  in  of  the  future he’s  seen  for  leia.

  [     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   last night, d:fi dorm

leia’s  asleep,  curled up  in  a  blanket  while  ethan  sits  beside  her  with  one  of  his  sketchpads.  over  the  course of  the  evening, a  series  of  elaborate  mandala like  designs  have  blossomed  onto  the  page.  it’s  not  until  the  very  early  hours  of  the  morning where  light  is  peeking  into  the  window that  ethan  realizes he’s  been  awake  since  the  moment  leia  arrived.  with  realization  comes  exhaustion.  his  vigilant  watch  over  her  was  bound  to  come  to  an  end  eventually, but  he  remains uneased.  like  he  can’t  trust  the  locked doors  and  magical wards  around  the  dorm  to  protect  them.

considering  how  monsters had  broken  through them  before,  though, were  his  concerns truly  misplaced?

he  sets  his  sketchpad  aside  and  slides down  into  the  bed,  wrapping an  arm  around her  and  leaning into  her  back.  leia  stirs  and  turns  to  face  him.  worry  is  written all  over  her  face  as,  even  through her  glossy  eyed  half-asleep  daze,  she’s  picked up  on  something troubling  him.  ethan  smiles  a  bit,  shakes his  head.

“  i’m  fine.  just  thinking. why  do  you  always  know  when  i’m  thinking?”

she’s  too  tired  to  form  a  meaningful response.  her  words  come  out  practically  inaudible and  a  little bit  slurred.  exhaustion is  evident,  and  so  ethan  just  strokes her  hair  and  her  arm  and  tells  her  to  go  back  to  sleep. it  doesn’t  take  long  before she’s  out  again  and  he  is  left  to  his  thoughts.

would  you  have  ever  spoken to  me  if  you’d  known  this  is  what  your  life  would  be?  constantly chasing  down  or  running  away  from  monsters…fighting  against the  threads  of  time  and  having  to  figure  out  what  fate  looks  like  for  you…?

he  knows  what’d she  say  if  she  were  conscious.  she’d  say  yes,  of  course. she’d  say  it’s  worth  it  and  as  long  as  they’re  together, she  knows  she  safe.  she’d  say  she  doesn’t  want  to  be  a  burden, but  she  wouldn’t want  it  any  other  way.  though  if  he  wanted to  leave  her,  she’d  say  she’d  understand. it’d  break  her  heart,  but  all  she  wants  is  for  him  to  be  happy  –

ethan  realizes  that  he’s  rambling for  her  and  lets  out  a  small  laugh.  she’s  so  much  a  part  of  him.  maybe  to  much  now.  ‘that’s  what  soulmates  are’,  he’s  sure  someone  in  the  dorm  would  say.  hyunsik  or  reese.  and  yeah,  perhaps that’s  what  they  are.  no…that is  definitely  what  they  are.  nothing  else  would  explain why  it  feels  as  though leia  has  a  cord  around his  soul  and  is  constantly pulling  at  it.  he  welcomes every  tug.

and  god  save  whoever tries  to  sever  that  cord.      

#* ♡ ╰ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ━━ 「 ethan && leia 」

[gemstoneconstellations]

Could you do a fic where reader is suicidal and was gonna jump from a building but was stopped by sero? I been having a hard time lately....

I couldn’t ignore this ask and wrote something real quick. No beta (may edit later but I want to post this now). I have major depression as well so I can feel that. And with everything going on, I’m sure it has been really hard on others with this condition. Having my dog actually helps motivate me to keep taking care of myself. She can’t talk back, but having someone to talk to helps. If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me. Reach out guys, we’re all in this together.

Word count: 1135

You stared down at the ground. The distance below made your eyes dizzy, you took a small step back as you sucked in a shaky breath. The cold night air hurt your lungs, breaking that numb feeling you have had in your chest for what felt like forever. Just one step away from it all to be over. You tremble as you work yourself up to take that final plunge. 

You don’t want to die….. But you don’t want to live either.

Every day there seems to be less holding you back, nothing to keep you connected to a world that just doesn’t care. A forgettable existence. 

“Oh hey.” Your body jolted when a voice came from behind you. A person was walking over to you, a helmet that looked like a tape dispenser on his head and a paper bag in his hands. Cellophane?

The tape hero came over to you, lifting the visor of his helmet and smiled. “I thought I was the only one that knew about this place.”

“Huh?”

Cellophane took a seat on the edge of the building, his feet dangling as he dug into the paper bag. “I come here on my midnight snack break all the time, especially now. Something about the autumn air makes it even better. Feels clearer and crisp. Work doesn’t usually let me take a moment to enjoy views like this so I take it in when I can.” He pointed up to the sky, you glanced up to see the clear sky.

“The stars?”

“This is probably the only spot in the city area you can see them. It’s not dense over here, a lot of the people in this neighborhood are elderly so lights are out by 7 pm. Well except for Mr. Omashi. He runs the shop a block over.” He patted the spot beside him and held out something wrapped in paper. You could see steam coming off it. “I always buy some of his buns before going on break, but he always gives me extra since I helped him when his shop was being robbed this one time.”

You hesitantly lower yourself down, taking a seat but keeping a distance from the hero as you grabbed the warm bun. The hero kept rambling on about stuff you can find in the neighborhood. “You’re not going to ask?” You mumbled quietly.

He took off his helmet and tilted his head, tussling his messy hair. “Sorry, what was that? The helmet kind of blocks out sounds sometimes.”

“Nothing.” You turn back to the bun, unwrapping it and taking a bite. Burst of sweet and sour pork juices fill your mouth. You savor the taste, humming. It was delicious. You swallow and instantly go in for another bite, stuffing yourself.

The hero laughed, unwrapping a bun for himself. “Good huh? Mr. Omashi has been making food like this for forty years now. He keeps his shop open till really late since there is a bar nearby. Pretty smart, I know if i was drunk i would want some of his food for sure.” He hands you another one and you graciously take it. “Though it’s been kind of hard on him lately with his age, he’s looking for someone to work the night shifts for him or he won’t stay open past 8.”

It was quiet as the two of you ate. Just having a normal conversation with a hero making small talk on top of the roof of a building. He looked up at the sky as he chewed and you followed suit. Oddly, the stars seemed to twinkle more brightly. It’s like you are looking at them for the first time. Your body is warm and toasty inside. You felt a bit at peace as you watched a cloud slowly move to reveal the moon. “Pretty.”

“I know right? Have you been here at dawn? Didn’t know the sky could change so many colors. But it’s the best in spring.” Cellophane took the wrappers and threw them back in the paper bag before getting up. 

He dusted his pants off and held out his hand to you. “Break time over, here, I’ll walk to your house. It’s dangerous for someone to be out here alone at night.” His tone was light and thoughtful, but still sounded like he wouldnt take no for an answer. You took his hand and he helped you up. True to his word, he walked you home and didn’t leave till he saw you enter your house.

You went to bed and for once, you actually fell asleep within a couple minutes. When you woke in the morning, the disappointment of waking wasn’t there. You didn't notice it as you got out of bed, going to the bathroom. Your hair was a mess and your breath smelled like meat and morning breath, your tongue felt as gross as it smelled. When was the last time you showered? Showering felt amazing and not a chore. Today was the lightest you felt in a long time, like you could actually keep going.

Walking around the neighborhood was different, things were more vibrant. Your eyes moved from one small detail to the next. They landed on a help wanted sign in a small shop window, an elderly man placed some food in a heated display case. You took a step forward.

~

You slowly felt yourself making more of an effort to care for yourself. The thoughts still come and go, but it was easier to ignore. You found yourself standing on the edge of the same building again, looking towards the ground. A month ago, you could have been down there. A month ago, you could have been gone from the world and missed out what you didn’t know was around you.

“Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while.” Cellophane plopped down beside you and held up a bag. “Candied sweet potatoes? They’re fresh and hot.”

You smiled, sitting down with him and took a piece of the hot snack. “Yeah, thank you.”

The two of you sat there, making small talk, this time adding more to the conversation. Once the sweet potatoes were all gone, your hero stood and held out his hand to you. A reassuring smile on his face. You took his hand, but didnt let go. “I didn't come here for the view last time.”

His smile didn't falter. “I know. But you did this time, that’s what matters. You got to come back again to see the sun rise in spring, it’s gorgeous.”

Your eyes welled with tears but you quickly blinked them away, smiling back, the muscles in your face felt stiff as you did. “I… look forward to it. I’ll bring my favorite snacks next time.”

“Good, now let’s get you home.”

#sero hanta x reader #sero x reader #Sero Hanta

[solediem]

when brush meets canvas; a collection of thoughts and happenings ( @solivaganted​​ )

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, snu campus tour

he’s  not  listening. ethan  liu  has  the  attention span  of  a  a  goldfish when  it  comes  to  irrelevant things.  there’s  the  center  of  the  campus, there’s  the  café  (there’s  great coffee  there!),  dorms are  that  way,  class  buildings one  and  two  over  there  (  “  they’re  close  together  so  you  don’t  miss  classes!” )  …  so  on  and  so  forth. he  can  keep  pace  with  the  group  well  enough on  auto-pilot.  the  ‘highlights’  of  the  greater campus  are  irrelevant to  a  student who  plans  to  spend  four  semesters  holed  up  in  a  dorm  room.

“  sorry!  i’m  so  sorry!! “

he’s  rather  responsive for  someone  on  auto-pilot.  she  crashes  into  him  out  of  nowhere. his  arms  reach  out  to  catch  her  and  stabilize them  both.  it’s  not  until  after  he’s  done  it  that  ethan  truly  realizes that  something  happened, and  he’s  got  his  arms  around  a  brunette  who’s  expression  reads  utterly  horrified by  her  own  actions.

he  lets  her  go,  waving it  off,  “it’s  fine.  you’re alright?”

yes  she’s  alright, and  she’s  very  sorry,  and  she’s  sometimes so  clumsy,  and  she  wants  to  make  it  up.  ethan  continues to  wave  her  off,  shaking his  head  because it  really  is  fine.  it  takes  some  talking  down,  but  she  ultimately  accepts it,  and  she  shifts  herself off  to  the  side  a  bit  so  she’s  not  walking  so  closely  to  the  man  she’d  just  collapsed  into.  

ethan  sighs.  the  walk  continues. now  they  know  of  each  other’s  existence; any  time  they  catch  glances he  gives  a  small  nod  and  she  alternates  between mouthing  ‘sorry!’  and  giving  him  a  gentle smile.  he  finds  it  funny. and  it  makes  the  rest  of  the  tour  considerably less  grating.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, coffee shop

ahh.  that’s  why  she  asked  what  my  coffee  order  is  the  other  day.

leia  is  settled at  a  small  café  table  –  in  front  of  her  a  tall  glass  of  iced  coffee  and  a  slice  of  crumb  cake.  across from  her  in  front  of  the  opposite, empty  chair  is  another  cup  –  this  one  a  large  ceramic cappuccino  mug  with  two  slices of  lime  set  on  a  separate  dish  to  the  side.  it  too  is  accompanied  by  a  slice  of  cake.

“  did  you  wait  long  ??  “  he  asks

she  didn’t  wait  long  at  all,  she  just  got  there  a  little  early  and  decided to  order  for  them!  she’s  fine  with  paying  for  it,  and  ethan  certainly shouldn’t  worry.  she  hopes  she  ordered  the  right  thing, she’d  written  down  what  he  said  a  few  days  ago  about  liking  to  mix  lime  into  his  coffee.  she  thinks  it’s  very  interesting, and  she  almost ordered  it  herself. and  she’s  talking and  rambling  to  much  and  she’s  sorry.

ethan  is  to  used  to  her  by  now  to  be  phased. he  simply  sits  in  front  of  her,  lets  her  ramble  a  minute  while  he  adds  the  lime  to  his  drink  and  takes  a  fork  to  the  cake.  after  a  moment  she’s  quiet,  shyly  looking  down  at  her  own  setting. ethan  shakes  his  head.

“  you  worry  to  much.  “

she  knows.  she  can’t  help  it.  

“  i  owe  you  for  this.  “

no  he  doesn’t! it’s  completely  fine.  she  doesn’t mind.  and  ethan  doesn’t  care,  as  he’s  already  reaching across  the  table  to  pocket the  receipt. leia  sighs  a  bit.  she  just  wanted to  be  nice.  ethan  tells  her  she’s  nice  without trying,  and  it’s  one  of  the  many  reasons  he  likes  being  around  her.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, leia’s apartment

leia  is  rambling, as  she  always is.  only  this  time  she  rambles  while  dumping  new  dishware  into  the  sink  and  unpacking boxes  of  this  and  that  and  things from  home  into  cabinets  and  into  drawers. ethan  is  listening, as  he  always is.

if  he  doesn’t want  to  enroll in  snu,  then  he  shouldn’t! he  should  definitely join  two  star  if  that’s what  feels  right. and  she’s  supportive of  his  decision. and  yes,  it’ll  be  harder to  start  school without  him  if  he  chooses not  to  go,  but  she’ll be  alright!  and  they  can  still  text  and  hang  out,  and  everything  would  be  fine.  and  she’s  seen  some  of  the  lyrics  he  wrote!  and,  oh,  they’re so  good  no  wonder  two  star  entertainment extended  him  a  contract!  

she’s  practically  bouncing up  in  down,  bubbling  up  with  all  the  excitement one  would  expect ethan  to  have  after  receiving a  personal  invitation from  the  company’s ceo.  but  he’s  just  standing there  with  his  arms  crossed, watching  her  with  one  brow  arced  and  a  smile  tugging  at  the  corners of  his  mouth.

“  when  was  the  last  time  you  took  a  breath?”

leia  pauses,  her  body  going  stiff  for  a  moment as  she  manually takes  in  a  breath,  then  lets  it  out  again  with  an  embarrassed  smile. she’s  just  so  happy  for  him.  and  she  wants  what’s  best  for  him  and  wants  what  makes  him  happy. ethan  moves  towards her  and  puts  his  arms  around  her  waist.

“  i  have  a  lot  to  be  happy  about  these  days.  “

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   four years ago, leia’s apartment

over  the  past  year  or  so,  ethan  has  come  to  learn  how  every  aspect  of  leia  is  soft  –  lips,  voice,  demeanor.  more  recently,  he’s  learned  that  the  rest  of  her  body  is  no  different.  the  discovery  wasn’t  by  chance.  it  was  planned  and  executed  with  comfort  and  assuredness  in  mind.  the  location,  however,  was  a  bit  unplanned  –  the  intent  had  been  the  bedroom,  but  the  living  ended  up  serving  just  as  well.  and  that,  ironically,  turned  out  to  be  for  the  best  as  ethan  discovered  something  else  that  very  same  afternoon.

leia’s  back  is  a  wonderful  canvas.  the  better  part  of  the  next  hour  had  been  spent  in  quiet  conversation  as  he  brushed  unplanned,  but  ornate  designs  onto  her  skin.

“  it  washes  off.  “

she  knows.  she  wouldn’t  really  have  let  him  do  it  if  it  was  permanent.  or  maybe  she  would  have.  maybe  his  art  would’ve  become  a  beautiful  back  tattoo.  she  wants  a  picture  of  it  when  it’s  done,  because  she  can’t  see  for  herself  what  she’s  doing  and  it’d  be  a  shame  to  wash  all  his  hard  work  away  without  remembering  it.

why  do  i  love  you  so  much?

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   two and a half years ago, leia’s apartment

he’s debuting! she’s so excited, and she always knew it would happen. there’s no way ethan would’ve gotten two invitations to the company if they didn’t want him. imagine how different things would’ve been if he’d gone to snu instead! she misses him a bit when she’s alone on campus, and she does sometimes think it would’ve been fun to go together. no wait! oh, she didn’t mean to say that. she shouldn’t have said it, and she doesn’t want him to worry about her. because she’s fine! she’s doing great on her own! she’s only got a couple more years and then she’ll be graduating, and everything will be fine.

“ i’m moving into the dorm this week. “

she’ll help him pack!

“ you can’t come to the trainee dorms, leia, i’ll get in trouble.”

oh right.

her smile is still soft and gentle. their relationship had been quiet and incredibly comfortable til now. never something either of them spoke to openly about. not out of shame, but just out of natural inclination to not speak to often about personal matters to other people. but now it’s necessity.

“ …. no one knows about you except hyunsik. i think it needs to stay that way. it’s for your safety, ultimately.”

it’s okay! she completely understands. she doesn’t want to jeopardize his career and she loves him enough that she’s okay with keeping things quiet. really, she’s fine. she’s completely okay.

ethan wraps his arms around her tightly, presses his lips to her forehead. he’s never wanted to shout that he loves her more than right now. more than this moment where he’s realized that he can’t.

“ i love you. “ he settles for a soft whisper in her ear.

she loves him too.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   six months ago, d:fi dorm

“  ethan  ?!  yah  –  ethan  !!  “

the  force  of  leaving  the  trance  sends  ethan  tumbling off  his  chair  and  onto  the  ground where  he  catches himself  on  all  fours.  

“  you  okay  ??  you  weren’t  responding …  can  you  hear  me  now??”  hyunsik asks,  kneeling  by  his  side  and  putting an  arm  him.  

ethan  shuts  his  eyes,  squeezing them  so  tight  that  he  feels  pressure in  his  forehead, “…yeah.”  he  says  finally.

the  past  hour  of  his  life  is….  nothingness,  as  far  as  ethan  can  recall.  but  the  state  of  the  dorm  room  indicates  otherwise. dropped  brushes,  a  tipped  over  cup  of  mucky  water. tubes  of  acrylic paint  are  scattered across  the  floor, some  burst  open  from  the  force  of  being  stepped on.  paint  had  splattered  onto  the  wall  and  floor, even  onto  some  of  the  furniture.  his  easel  is  turned  over  on  it’s  side,  and  the  canvas ethan  had  been  working  on  lay  on  the  floor, slightly  smudged  due  to  making contact  with  the  bedframe  before hitting  the  ground.

“  what  were  you  doing  ??”

“  i  don’t  know.  my…i’ve been  off  recently. i  don’t  know.”

suddenly  ethan  pushes himself  up  and  whirls  around to  look  at  the  painting. he  feels  a  pit  form  in  his  stomach  as  he  examines it.  it’s  messy, it’s  smeared  with  dark  reds,  browns,  and  auburns.  but  he  knows  exactly  what  he’s  looking at.  the  creature hunting  them  all  –  the  being  known  as  aries  –  holding leia  aloft.

his  hand  is  around  her  neck.  she’s  bleeding  profusely. her  body  is  limp,  but  her  eyes  are  wide  open  in  horror.  the  sight  breaks lose  tears  form  ethan’s  eyes,  and  hyunsik snatches  the  painting up  and  turns  it  around.

“  stop  it.    leia  is  fine.  ethan  –  leia  is  fine.  “

“  you  don’t  know  that.  ”

hyunsik  puts  himself between  ethan  and  the  painting, places  both  hands  on  his  forearms  and  squeezes  tightly, “  i  do.  two  star  is  protected. and  leia  is  right  downstairs.   there’s  nowhere  else  she  could  be  that’s safer.  she’s  fine.  she’ll  be  fine.  nothing’s going  to  hurt  her.”

ethan  uses  all  his  force  to  push  hyunsik  aside. the  elder  doesn’t expect  it,  and  so  he  tumbles  to  the  side  and  into  the  bedframe. ethan  snatches  the  painting  back  up  and  flips  it  over,  trying to  understand  what  part  of  his  brain  decided  to  concoct  this  monstrosity  of  an  image.

what  is  this  panic  induced nightmare  sitting  at  the  forefront of  his  mind?  why  is  his  stomach sinking  the  more  he  looks  at  it?  why  does  it  feel  so  real?  so  possible? so…inevitable?  he  feels  the  tears  begin  to  fall,  and  they  plop  onto  the  canvas,  causing bits  of  it  to  run  because  of  still  wet  paint.

hyunsik  gets  up  again  and  tries  to  pull  the  painting  from  ethan’s  vice  grip.  the  elder  ultimately wins  the  scuffle, and  the  painting is  pushed  off  to  the  side  of  the  room  face  down  and  smeared across  the  floor. ethan’s  body  racks  with  sobs  as  hyunsik pins  him  down.  loud,  anguished cries  as  realization  sets  in  of  the  future he’s  seen  for  leia.

 [     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   last night, d:fi dorm

leia’s  asleep,  curled up  in  a  blanket  while  ethan  sits  beside  her  with  one  of  his  sketchpads.  over  the  course of  the  evening, a  series  of  elaborate  mandala like  designs  have  blossomed  onto  the  page.  it’s  not  until  the  very  early  hours  of  the  morning where  light  is  peeking  into  the  window that  ethan  realizes he’s  been  awake  since  the  moment  leia  arrived.  with  realization  comes  exhaustion.  his  vigilant  watch  over  her  was  bound  to  come  to  an  end  eventually, but  he  remains uneased.  like  he  can’t  trust  the  locked doors  and  magical wards  around  the  dorm  to  protect  them.

considering  how  monsters had  broken  through them  before,  though, were  his  concerns truly  misplaced?

he  sets  his  sketchpad  aside  and  slides down  into  the  bed,  wrapping an  arm  around her  and  leaning into  her  back.  leia  stirs  and  turns  to  face  him.  worry  is  written all  over  her  face  as,  even  through her  glossy  eyed  half-asleep  daze,  she’s  picked up  on  something troubling  him.  ethan  smiles  a  bit,  shakes his  head.

“  i’m  fine.  just  thinking. why  do  you  always  know  when  i’m  thinking?”

she’s  too  tired  to  form  a  meaningful response.  her  words  come  out  practically  inaudible and  a  little bit  slurred.  exhaustion is  evident,  and  so  ethan  just  strokes her  hair  and  her  arm  and  tells  her  to  go  back  to  sleep. it  doesn’t  take  long  before she’s  out  again  and  he  is  left  to  his  thoughts.

would  you  have  ever  spoken to  me  if  you’d  known  this  is  what  your  life  would  be?  constantly chasing  down  or  running  away  from  monsters…fighting  against the  threads  of  time  and  having  to  figure  out  what  fate  looks  like  for  you…?

he  knows  what’d she  say  if  she  were  conscious.  she’d  say  yes,  of  course. she’d  say  it’s  worth  it  and  as  long  as  they’re  together, she  knows  she  safe.  she’d  say  she  doesn’t  want  to  be  a  burden, but  she  wouldn’t want  it  any  other  way.  though  if  he  wanted to  leave  her,  she’d  say  she’d  understand. it’d  break  her  heart,  but  all  she  wants  is  for  him  to  be  happy  –

ethan  realizes  that  he’s  rambling for  her  and  lets  out  a  small  laugh.  she’s  so  much  a  part  of  him.  maybe  to  much  now.  ‘that’s  what  soulmates  are’,  he’s  sure  someone  in  the  dorm  would  say.  hyunsik  or  reese.  and  yeah,  perhaps that’s  what  they  are.  no…that is  definitely  what  they  are.  nothing  else  would  explain why  it  feels  as  though leia  has  a  cord  around his  soul  and  is  constantly pulling  at  it.  he  welcomes every  tug.

and  god  save  whoever tries  to  sever  that  cord.      

#* ▷ ╰ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ━━ 「 ethan && leia 」

[forever-more-never-again]

Food Fight (A request)

Requested: Anonymous

Word Count: 1406

Pairing: Natasha X Reader

Warnings!: Descriptions of Anorexia! Panic Attacks! Self Deprecating Thoughts! Self Esteem Issues! Trust Issues!

a/n: Please do not read if you struggle with any of the above mentioned issues. This is a heavy topic and one I have seen and been affected by personally. Please pay attention to the warnings and seek help. People love you. You are worth it.

Request: Hi! I was hoping you could write a Natasha x fem! Reader, where R has anorexia, but N doesn't really notice since N is on missions a lot. And R is feeling worse about herself because she thinks N is always going on missions to avoid R?(angst pls) If you can't/don't want to write this it's totally fine and I understand, but I love your writing! You're so good at it! Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day ❤

Masterlist

You slunk off towards the kitchen, your plate of untouched food sliding into the trash, like all the previous meals before it.

Tucking your napkin around it, you quickly hid it from any eyes. 

“Hey [Y/n]! Heard from Fury that Natasha and Clint should be arriving back any day now. You excited?” Tony yelled out from the dining room that Bruce had drug him to for dinner instead of staying in his lab like normal. You grinned, but your heart began pounding a mile a minute and your brain went into a frantic frenzy of toxic thoughts.

Natasha had been called out on a lot more missions than normal after the two of you had made things official, and you couldn’t help but wonder if she had requested them to get away from you.

You weren’t an Avenger...you certainly didn’t have the body of one. And growing up, your parents always warned that any boyfriend or girlfriend wouldn’t want ‘pigsty’ for a partner.

The echoes of old schoolmates oinking at you in the hallways chased you into yours and Natasha’s room in the tower.

Quickly, you stripped off your clothes and stood in front of the floor length mirror in the bathroom.

You didn’t see the toned stomach from workouts with Steve and Bucky fading into stringy muscle. You didn’t see the sunken eyes in your face from sleepless nights helping Tony and Bruce and constantly counting calories of everything you saw. You didn’t see the pasty pallor of your skin from not leaving the tower for weeks. And you definitely didn’t see someone worth Natasha’s love.

“Disgusting.” You muttered. Before pulling out the notebook you had hidden in your hair products drawer. 

Flipping past pages with food and their respective calories, you stopped on a blank one and wrote the date at the top.

You tapped the pen on your lips as you recall what you had for breakfast that morning.

Breakfast:

3 Apple slices - 33 Calories

Lunch:

Slice of Cheddar Cheese - 113 Calories

Dinner:

Piece of Bacon - 43 Calories

Total: 189 Calories

You muttered to yourself as you calculated. 189 calories eaten today. And a lot of water. A lot. You knew a healthy diet was 1500 Calories a day. But you couldn’t stop. You had to lose the fat that was suffocating you.

That was drowning you in memories and insults and the nagging fear that Natasha was trying to get away from you and regretted making you her girlfriend.

Sighing, you put the notebook back away, hidden from prying eyes, and put on your sleepwear.

Crawling into bed, you glanced over to a picture sitting on the nightstand on Natasha’s side of the bed.

Steve had taken it the day Natasha had asked you to be her girlfriend.

You were wrapped in the red heads arms, her knowing smirk pointed at the camera while you had your head thrown back, laughing.

Tears pricked your tired eyes as you stared at the picture. Happier days.

And yet, your eyes still narrowed in on yourself in the picture. At the lovehandles that showed where your shirt rode up. The thighs that looked massive next to Natasha’s leather clad ones. The chin that looked like it was just a tad too wide, that was one too many.

Echoes of the past and present mocked you as you fell into a nightmare fueled slumber.

You woke up to something warm against your back, and a tickle of air brushing your neck in timed intervals.

Blinking the sleep from your eyes, you looked down and saw two perfectly manicured hands holding your waist.

Natasha was home.

You should be feeling joy and love. But instead all you felt was disgust. At yourself. For deceiving yourself that you could ever be worth someone like her. For being someone Natasha had to get away from by taking on dangerous missions.

Fresh tears pricked at your eyes and you muffled a choked sob, almost whimper, from your throat with your hands.

But you must have moved or made enough noise to wake up Natasha, because her hands began moving and you felt her body heat leave.

“Mmm. Morning [Y/n]... Sorry I got back late last night and didn’t want to wake you.”

You couldn’t move. Frozen. Silent tears tracking paths down your cheeks. If you moved, Natasha would know something was wrong. And then you would find out what you suspected was the truth all along. That Natasha never loved you. That she pitied you. That you didn’t deserve her.

“Hey. [Y/n]? You okay?” Silky dulcet concerned tones. From a woman you both loved and feared at that moment.

Another sob. But this time you couldn’t stop it before it burst through your lips and out into the open air.

“[Y/n]!? Sweetheart!? What’s wrong?”

Natasha sat up in bed, rolling your body so that you faced her. Through your blurry vision, you could see those bright emerald eyes, those smooth lips. Natasha.

Her smooth hands rubbed up and down your arms as you shook with the sobs that were now unleashed.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-” It was all you could say between choked, broken cries.

Natasha began humming and pulled you into a hug, rocking you with her as she stroked your arms and hair calmly.

After what felt like hours, you finally stopped crying, your tears running out and your voice growing raspy from its hoarse repetition of apologies. 

Natasha hummed once more before pulled back and placing her forehead on yours, her words were soft, gentle, “Mind telling me what’s going on? Does it have to do with your calorie book in the bathroom?”

You blue screened. She knew!?

Natasha didn’t laugh, didn’t mock or say anything cruel. She simply sighed, and gripped your hands in hers.

“I found it before this last mission.” Your brain flashed a thought in the middle of your inner panic, a week ago, she left a week ago, “And I was going to bring it up once I got home for a couple days. [Y./n],” She pulled back and stared at you, her green eyes wet with tears unshed yet, “You’re killing yourself my love.”

You laughed, brittle and hard, “Love? How could you love someone as ugly and fat as me?”

Natasha shook her head as you spoke, her eyes hardening even with the tears in them, “You are not ugly, or fat. [Y/n]...You are my girlfriend. You are a trusted member of the Avengers, you are a daughter and a friend and a colleague and so many other things I could spend hours listing. You are more than you think, and you are more than a couple words that do not define you.”

Well, you thought you had run out of tears, but you guessed you were wrong, because once more there were hot droplets of salt water running down your face.

You surged up and slammed your mouth onto Natasha’s. The kiss was sloppy and messy and tasted of Salt and love. But it was perfect.

Pulling apart with a pant, Natasha once again placed her forehead on yours and begged, her breath ragged whisper, “Please. Let me help you help yourself. You need to talk to someone professional about this. Please.”

You catch your breath, “Tell me you aren’t going on missions to avoid me. Tell me the truth.” Your plead. Desperate.

Both of your eyes were closed, as you clung to each other like drownies.

Natasha let out a chuckle, wet with tears unwept and fear of losing you, “Never! Never! I actually took these so that I would have the next few months free. To spend with you. Please. I love you [Y/n].”

You nodded your head, your skin hot and sweaty and gross. But for once, you weren’t thinking of how disgusting it was, or how many calories you were losing.

You were focused on yours and Natasha’s heartbeats slowly synchronizing together, you were focused on the glow of the sun peeking through the blinds, and you were focused on the hope of a new day.

Because Natasha was right. You needed help, but the first step was already completed. You laid to rest your fears of Natasha and you felt loved by the members of your family.

Your Food Fight with yourself was now over, and the healing could officially begin.

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@sxph-t @mialeelavellan @rainydaysrnevergrey  @platonic-plots @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi @ayyidkeither @queenbbarnes @mythixmagic @chas-z @thefridgeismybestie @strangersstranger @princess-evans-addict @rororo06 @timelordhunterandmysterysolver

Natasha Taglist:

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@jadepc @marvel-is-a-mood

#Avengers #avenger x reader #avenger x you #avengers x reader #avengers x you #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov #avengers tower #avengers fanfiction #imagine #imagine request #reader insert #read the warnings #please give credit #please give feedback #rose writes

[dfel-exe]

Hi! Welcome back :) Could i have some Eugene X Reader fluff where they are on patrol together talking about their common interests, and Eugene confesses to MC how he feels about her? thanks

i’m officially back from the dead to supply all my lovely followers with fics! hope you enjoy, wonderful requestee! i haven’t written anything for about four weeks, so my apologies if this is a little rough, my writing is slightly rusty~

god, i’m so sorry i’ve been gone for so long! its been a really busy month, so here’s an update. to the requester, i’m so so so so sorry it took me so long to get to this, i promise i’ll be more active from here on out!

*

Yours Truly - Eugene x Reader

Word Count: 893

Warnings: none

Key: Y/N - Your Name; E/C - Eye Color; H/C - Hair Color

*

*

Eugene capped the pen as he messily signed his name, throwing it down on the desk. A grunt escaped his lips as he read over the letter a couple of times. Incoherent mumbles of frustration were heard throughout the room as he crumpled up the letter, throwing it into the trash can. The garbage was filled with identical pieces of paper to the one he just tossed, each and every one traced with the messy scribbles of how he feels about you.

Conveying feelings into words was easy for some, but not for Eugene. He never was one for words, his sarcastic attitude and slight social awkwardness didn’t make a good atmosphere for telling the girl he was madly in love with how he felt. So, he figured he could try and write it down. Bad idea. The way he wrote out his words didn’t feel right to him, it wasn’t perfect like he intended it to be.

He ran his hand through his hair in annoyance, pouting his lips as he leaned back and closed his eyes. The sound of his classroom door being opened snapped him out of his relaxed state.

“Patrol is in five minutes. You and Y/N are on the roof.” Lawrence gave him a warm smile as he left the classroom as quick as he entered. Eugene forced himself to stand, preparing himself for the patrol up ahead.

As he walked out of the classroom, the warm light of the sunset hit his eyes. They quickly squinted shut at the change of brightness, adjusting quickly to the deep orange hue. The color of sunsets had always been comforting to him, but he never had a reason why until just recently.

The warm feeling the color gave off reminded him of your smile. It was a smile that would light up the room, lifting the spirits of anybody who came into contact with it. His lips curled at the thought, continuing his walk to the rooftop.

The feeling of the cold doorknob on his fingertips spread throughout his arm as he opened the door, looking at you leaning against the railing. The creaking of the door alerted youl, turning yourself around to see Eugene.

“Eugene, hey.”

The sound of your voice was almost as heartwarming as the sweet smile you were flashing him at the time. He stood next to you, watching the sun slowly set as the orange and pink hues filled the sky.

“I haven’t seen you much today. What have you been up to?”

He turned to look at you after he heard the question. His thoughts were scrambled as he quickly mustered up a response. “Oh, nothing much. I was actually just writing.”

Your lips curled up at the response as you shifted your eyes towards him. “Really? I used to love writing. You know, just getting your feelings our or creating made-up stories that pop up from time to time. It’s really relaxing. I didn’t know you were into it. What were you writing about?”

“You.”

Your eyes widened as you fully turned your body towards him at the response, a bright blush coming over your cheeks.

“Y-You were writing about me?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and brought his hand up to his forehead as he realized what he had just said. It was just an immediate response, not much thought went into it. It was kind of like he was on some sort of auto-pilot when talking to you. You had a way of making him relax, so he wasn’t surprised that he didn’t really think about what he was saying around you.

The unfamiliar feeling of heat overwhelmed his body as the tips of his ears turned red. He turned his back to you as he stuttered out whatever came to his mind. “S-Shit… Um… Do you like music? What about reading? One of my favorite books is-”

“Yes, Eugene. I do like reading, but did you hear my question?” You interrogated the boy, a small smirk coming over your face.

Thoughts ran through his head as he slowly turned back around, a sigh escaping his lips.

“Y-Yeah… I was writing about you. Alright, I’m going to tell you something, but please don’t freak out and run off, okay?”

You nodded, signalling for him to go on.

“I was writing a love letter for you, but I couldn’t really convey my words onto paper. I wanted to keep trying, but we had to go on patrol and… here we are, I guess.”

A few seconds passed as he stared at your blank face. Moments later, you let out a burst of laughter.

“Jesus, Eugene! That was a half-assed confession if I’ve ever seen one!”

His expression dropped at your response, the feeling of being rejected quickly running through his veins.

“But… I like you a lot, Eugene. Maybe we can practice love letters together sometime.”

His sad expression was soon replaced by a small smile.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

#dfel #dangerous fellows #dangerousfellows #dangerous fellows eugene #df #dangerous fellows x reader #dangerous fellows imagines #eugene x reader #lucy dream #lucy dream games #lucydream #fanfiction #fan fiction #xreader #fanfic #this is short im sorry :( #but hey im back

[chairismaticchair]

You Are Mine

TW: Murder, Yandere actions, suicide thoughts, suicide aftermath

"What... What did you do Logan? What did you do to them?" There was a quiver in Patton's voice as he stumbled back from the man in front of him. He had already suspected something odd was happening, but the proof in front of him was undeniable. 

"It's simple. " Came the nonchalant reply, "I killed them. "

---

Logan held the picture in front of him, staring intently at it, as if it held the secrets of the universe. To him, it was far more important than that. It was a picture of four friends.

On the right side of the frame was the tallest man out of the four. He was lanky and his red highlights complimented his gingerbread brown hair. Giving bunny ears to the person beside him, the smug expression on his face vaguely resembled royalty. That, his name being Roman Princeton and his love of Disney movies earned him the nickname "Princey".

The man he was bunny-earing was pushing Roman's hand away, a playful glare on his face. His hair was a dark shade of purple, successfully covering his eyes. Clad in a black and purple patched hoodie, he was one of the shorter members of the group. His name was Virgil, and his dark exterior reflected his "inner turmoil and evil" as he would often declare in a grouchy manner.

The shortest of the group was Patton,  the man standing next to Virgil. He wore a light blue polo shirt and a grey cardigan was tied around his shoulders like a superhero cape. Along with his khaki pants and dad jokes, he was the father figure of the group. His blond hair was messy and he wore black framed spectacles. The source of sunshine and optimism, he was always there to lend a helping hand. He had an arm around Vigil and another around the man beside him. 

Beside the positive man was Logan. His posture upright, he was the most serious of the bunch. His dark blue tie was on top of his black polo shirt. Black hair was brushed neatly to the side, and a pair of black framed spectacles framed his mocha eyes. None of his friends knew why, but he had bought the same frames as Patton shortly after he had purchased his own. Whenever they did ask him,  their only answer was a shrug. The first time Patton spotted the matching spectacles, he did not ask any questions. Instead, he beamed, gestured towards both spectacles and exclaimed, "Glasses buddies! " That made Logan smile, a rare thing. 

Now, just the thought of Patton's arm around him caused a pink tinge to show up on his usually pale cheeks and tingles at the places where Patton had wrapped his arm around. It felt nice. He had never felt like this before but he liked it. He wanted more. He needed more. 

Just then, there was a knock on his door and it opened. " Hey Lo, do you have-" Purple hair was brushed aside as Virgil walked closer towards Logan. " Oh, that's a nice photo. From that trip to Disneyland, right? Roman was such an idiot. " He rolled his eyes fondly at the thought. 

Logan wasn't focusing on that, however. He was focusing on how Patton had his arm around Virgil as well. Clenching his fists, he gritted his teeth. How dare he! That despicable cretin, attempting to steal his precious Patton. Patton was his. With his hugs, warmth and cuteness, he deserves everything. He wastes his love on Virgil. 

Noticing Logan stiffen up, Virgil tilted his head curiously. "You okay? " Before he finished his question,  Logan had made up his mind. It was simply the most logical way to approach a problem. You destroy the threats and the problem disappears. Simple as that. His eyes scanning around the room, he found the perfect tool to assist in his procedure. A tie. It was an old one, slightly tattered around the seams, but it would work. 

Grabbing the accessory, he pushed Virgil against the wall and wrapped the tie around his neck before pulling tightly. Gasping for breath, Virgil hysterically pulled at the fabric in an attempt to loosen its tight grip. However, with the combination of his smaller stature and shock, he was unsuccessful. "Wh-why? " He managed to choke out.

Logan pulled tighter, his grip still even. His face was void of emotion as he answered Virgil's question. "Patton deserves better than to have to love someone like you. I'm merely helping him. " 

In a few seconds, the man's body slumped to the ground, unconscious. However,  he held the tie tight for a couple minutes longer to ensure death. Admiring his handiwork, the corners of Logan's mouth lifted to form a satisfied smile. Deciding the next phase of his plan, he opened his room door slightly and peered out, making sure that no interfering roommates were going to pass by. 

Safe. He hoisted Virgil bridesmaid style and crossed the hallway towards the emo's room. The light was still on, and the oak desk that was at the side of the room was a mess, as if he was searching for something. Placing down the body on the floor, Logan flung open the closet door and, as messily as he could, searched for a belt. Spotting a long black one, he climbed onto a stool and found a hook on the ceiling. It used to have a large black swing that hung from it, but the wear and tear it received sealed its fate to the trash. Perfect. Knotting a noose in the expert way that any outsider watching would be worried by,  he looped it over the hook. 

The next part of the plan. Bending down to grab the corpse, he placed the head through the noose before letting gravity take over. Success. The smile appeared on his face once more. Patton would be so proud! He had always told Logan to help others, and now Logan was helping him. Stepping off the stool, he kicked it to the side. 

Finally. Logan knew that Virgil had considered suicide before,  which was what made his plan so perfect. Eyes scanning the desktop, he spotted a black journey and flipped through it, till he reached the page he had suspected was there. Hey guys, it wrote in scratchy handwriting, I just wanted to tell all of you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry. I need to do this. I can't take it anymore. The voices, the constant throbbing in my head,  the pit of dread in my stomach. The pain is too much to bear. I don't know what else to do. I'm trapped. I just want you guys to know I love all of you. The single letter 'V' was signed at the bottom. 

Perfection. He tore out the page and left it on the table, before walking back towards his room. 

Logan went back to business. Taking out the picture that had been carelessly thrown aside, he tore the spot between Patton and Virgil,  before pinning the side with him and his beloved on the wall. That picture gave him another surge of adrenaline, right before he heard a shrill scream and the clatter of an object onto the ground. 

Patton. Logan knew exactly what to do. Bursting into Virgil's room,  he feigned a gasp before turning towards the blonde beside him. A plate of chocolate chip cookies lay on the floor along with a plastic plate. Trembling, Patton feverishly looked around the room for something,  anything that could explain the body in front of him. He grabbed the paper on the desk and scanned it, more and more tears dripping down his face. Logan placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, careful not to scare him.

"It… it can't be. " He mumbled, "He said he was getting better, he said he was alright. " The volume of his voice raised as he choked out every word through tears. "He said he was fine! " He was screaming now, on his knees. 

Realisation dawned upon his face and his puffy eyes widened. "And I believed him. " He whispered hoarsely,  "How could I have been so stupid? Why am I so stupid? Why? Why? " The questions started to torment him, each one a stab at his heart. He ducked his head, not wanting to face the limp body dangling in front of him. Gasp after gasp could be heard as Patton struggle to breath, pain surging through him in each attempt. 

Seizing his moment,  Logan knelt down and placed a hand on Patton's back,  moving it up and down rhythmically to guide his breathing. "Everything will be okay." He comforted, "Everything will be okay." Patton still trembled, waves of emotion threatening to drown him once more. There was a panicked look in his eyes as he nodded hesitantly.

Roman had been standing at the doorway, silent. He had came running when he heard the screaming and when he saw Virgil, he stopped in his tracks. Unlike Patton's frantic reaction, Roman merely stared at the limp corpse dangling from the ceiling, like a warped Halloween decoration that he could not take his eyes off of. 

Why did he… He shook his head, snapping himself out of his stupor. He couldn't afford to ponder for a reason. He would fall into a destructive cycle, and he couldn't do that. He had to make sure Patton will be okay. Roman knew that Logan was not the most empathetic, and he needed to help support Patton. And with that decision, he walked over to Virgil.

Standing on tip-toes, Roman gingerly removed the noose. Silent, he lay the body on the floor, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He wiped it off. He had to stay strong, for his friends. They needed him! 

However, Roman allowed himself a moment of weakness. Leaning over Virgil, he kissed his forehead softly. "Sleep well, my love."

---

It had been a month after Virgil's death. Patton would still break down whenever he spotted something that reminded him of the man, like a purple hoodie or the cat figurine that he had made for Patton for his birthday. 

He had looked around the room for anything that could show that Virgil didn't kill himself, but he found nothing. There was a stool that was kicked aside, presumably how he hung himself. The wardrobe was messy, as if he was panicking when he looked for the belt. Everything pointed towards a suicide. But Patton refused to believe it. He had said he was getting better, and Patton had been able to see it, so there was no reason why he would have done it. 

Maybe he was pretending. A voice taunted in his head. Maybe he didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth. Patton shut his eyes tight, trying to drown out the voice in his head by muttering three words to himself over and over. " He didn't lie. He didn't lie. He didn't-"

The door opened and Roman stepped inside, two cups of hot chocolate in his hands. "Er... Padre, I don't think being in this room is healthy for you. Come outside, I made you a drink." 

"No. No. I have to find out what happened. " Patton paused. "Maybe Logan could help me, he's smart!" Charged by the new idea, he dashed off to the opposite room. 

Roman stared at the closed black door, before sighing. After looking around the room wistfully, he followed the energetic man. 

Hearing knocks on his room door,  Logan opened it to reveal Patton. His  eyes were bloodshot and he had dark circles around them. How cute. Logan mused. Even after crying and staying up late, Patton was still the most precious person he had ever seen. His most precious person. 

Stepping out, he shut the door behind him and smiled. "How may I help you, Preci- Patton? " 

"I'm trying to find out about how Virgil-" He hesitated. "Passed away. I really don't think it was a suicide,  and you're really smart, so I thought you could help. " 

As Logan opened his mouth to respond, Roman stepped out of the room. "C'mon Pat, take the drink. I'll...I'll help you with the investigation." 

As he passed Patton the hot chocolate, Roman never noticed the glare that had been shot at him by Logan. Instead, he was giving Patton an encouraging smile. Perhaps they could move on together. It'd be hard but it would be easier with a friend. 

Logan narrowed his eyes even more. He knew exactly what Roman was planning. It was so obvious, with that fake smile and lies. He was trying to steal Patton away from him! Another plan formed in his mind. 

Beaming towards Roman, Patton's eyes briefly shone with happiness. "Thank you so much, Ro! You're the best! "

That's what triggered him. Clenching his fists, Logan gritted his teeth. "Roman, could I… speak to you in private? "

The princely man tilted his head curiously, before shrugging and following Logan inside, leaving Patton by himself. 

"I don't like how close you are with my Patton. " Logan stated simply after Roman closed the door behind him. 

He was returned with a confused expression. "Wha- your Patton?"

The bespectacled man stepped forward, fists clenched. "Yes. He is mine, and I don't like it when people try to take away my things." By now,  Roman was backed into a wall and he had his hands up in surrender. 

"I… I just want to help him get over Virgil's suicide. " He protested. Logan chuckled darkly, before picking up a penknife from his desk top. 

" What suicide? " He asked,  finger delicately tracing the tip of the knife. Roman's eyes widened. 

"You… you… .you killed him! " He gasped, before pushing Logan backwards. Logan stumbled, then leaped forward and pushed Roman back against the wall. 

His knife traced Roman's lips. "What pretty lips. Would be a shame if I cut them out. " He paused. 

"Though I would like to torture you slowly, my love is waiting outside the door. " 

The only thing Roman did was scream. " He killed V! He-" A slash of the throat interrupted his yelling. 

Patton burst into the room. "Wha- who killed V?" Stopping in his tracks,  his eyes surveyed the scene in front of him, from Logan holding a knife to Roman's slumped body on the floor. 

He stared at Logan in horror. "What... What did you do Logan? What did you do to them?" There was a quiver in Patton's voice as he stumbled back from the man in front of him. He had already suspected something odd was happening, but the proof in front of him was undeniable. 

"It's simple. " Came the nonchalant reply, "I killed them. "

Patton trembled in his spot as he attempted a confident facade. "What are you… you going to do now? Kill me?"

Logan walked towards him, before caressing his cheek gently. "Kill you? I would never hurt you,  Precious. Don't you see? I got rid of all the threats that stood between us. That emo and that silly prince. Now,  we can be together. You can finally be mine. " 

Patton pushed Logan away,  shaking his head. "I'm not yours Logan.  This isn't right. "

Logan chuckled darkly once again. "Oh precious, you don't have a choice. You are mine. "

#yandere #logan sanders #Patton sanders #Roman sanders #Virgil Sanders #murder #Logicality #Prinxiety #dark #writing #fanfiction