Peter “Penis” or doesn’t seem like he could be but
unfortunately actually is “Spider-man” Parker was losing his shit hovering over
the bathroom sink when MJ busts out from the cubicle that Peter didn’t even
realize was there, and his - was previously just currently in his feelings -
brain is left on buffer for an embarrassingly too long amount of
time. He was just pretty all over the place today, okay? Give his brain a
MJ chuckles at the gears in Peters brain grinding themselves
to death, leaving himself frozen in a dumb dumbfounded expression, and
consequently tries to help him out.
MJ lets out a huff, “Don’t worry, Peter, you didn’t wind up
in the girls’ bathroom by mistake or anything.”
Peters frozen dumb expression finally melts and he’s
starting to finally think again. “Oh. Okay. Sooo then what are you doing
here?” Peter asks still slightly confused.
MJ shouldn’t be given this much power in messing with a
dorky awkward nerd. It just wasn’t fair. She was going to do it anyways. She
“I’ve narrowed down who spider-man is and I’m trying to get
MJ lets Peters impossibly cute fear shot eyes and panicked
face simmer itself for a little bit before MJ inevitably lets him off the hook.
“Or, the more likely, and actual explanation that the school
converted the second floors boys bathroom into a gender neutral bathroom which
you didn’t notice, so you thought it was still a guys’ bathroom when it wasn’t
just that anymore, which is probably why you’re so shocked. Id rib on your lack
of observational skills but you just seem so miserable enough already.”
unexpectedly getting closer in the gender neutral bathroom
5 minutes ago…
Peter feels like he can’t breathe. His chest feels tight, he
can’t think straight, he feels like he can barely stand. He seriously feels
like he’s near tears or at least going to explode, for fuck’s sake.
It was already getting too late last night, May texted him
dinner was in the fridge and she was going to bed already late.
And Peter seriously was going to go home then and there, but
of course, a set of twin sisters just had to lose their cat in some dog park so
there he was, late at night, perching himself from tree to tree trying to spot
a cat that he’s going to have to keep for tonight since the twins had to go
home which he then had to figure out when he was going to give it back tomorrow
and how to deal with it once he does find it.
It was cleaning up this mess that led him to be late to an
exam that he actually forgot he had today. He did okay enough, he guesses. He’s
actually pretty terrified he’s going to fail it because he has no idea what he’s
doing with his life but still, he’s forcing to keep himself chill about it, or
at least, trying to.
Back to now…
“So are you okay, though? You seemed to be thinking ‘bout a
lot when I first got out,” MJ asks, out of just her naturally her curiosity?
sure; but it’s more like common classmate courtesy if she’s being frank. And it
was most definitely not concern about someone she likes ppfttt that’s
ridiculous. She was just doing what anyone would do, that’s all. Pfft.
“Uhm yeah, no, not really,” Peter contemplates for a bit
whether he’s going to share his tale of woe or at least some spidey-free
version of it, when he realizes he’s finally calm and reasonable enough to
actually notice something for once.
Peter lets his curiosity get the best of him and asks a
question when he hadn’t even really answered the one he was given, “I could ask
the same about you though.”
Peter lets out a sympathetic smile and points to his eyes
and then to MJs puffy red ones one would only normally get after crying, “You
This was probably karma in the scheme of things; MJ was
annoyed at the immediateness of it though. Not mere 5 minutes from when MJ made
Peter feel panicked and insecure, Peter was now, unintentionally but still,
making her feel panicked and insecure.
MJ feels herself defensively wiping her eyes yet again and
sneaks a peek at the mirror to see if it helped any. It didn’t. She mutters a
very quiet “fuck” to herself in frustration.
MJ imagines a world where she’s finally actually ready to
open up about something other than the facade she presents herself in. She
imagines telling someone she cares about who cares about her, of her mother’s
struggle, the struggle she only recently found out herself.
MJ grew up with happy memories of an imperfect but still
overall truly content family where she felt that she had everything she ever
needed. Her mother made sure of that. She had a loving mother and father, and a
little sister, Gail, to look out for and as a best friend. MJ had everything
she needed but, and she really hates herself for this, she always felt her
mother tried too hard to keep the truth of the world away from her. MJ hated
that gut feeling itching inside of her telling her there was something murky
hidden in the depths, forgotten.
For the most part, she felt that her mother was truly
sincere in her intentions of letting the past stay where it was; her mother
must have had a reason for doing so and MJ wasn’t one to belittle her mother’s
motivations, not when it could just end up hurting her. And yet, that yearning
for the truth still lingered; it was just who MJ was, and she truly didn’t
expect the answer she had gotten to her questions.
MJ didn’t know how to process the fact that her mother had
gone through something that if were being honest, was normal in this effed-up
society but it still didn’t mean it wasn’t so cruelly unfair.
MJs mother left her and Gail’s biological father when they
were 2 years and one year old, respectively. At the very first sign of her
biological father revealing his violent demons, her mother took her and Gail,
left, and never turned back. Her mother quickly and decisively chose her
daughters over her husband; she didn’t want them to get damaged in the backlash
of the struggle her husband was going through.
MJ knew she wasn’t her biological father; she didn’t
remember him. She didn’t even know him. She knew that he didn’t matter and that
the alternate life they could have had didn’t as well. MJ grew up with Sam the
hardworking and honestly, just so boring and vanilla freaking mailman, for a
father; her step-one if you want to be specific, not that it mattered, since
Sam was Dad to her in every single way that counted. They all loved each other,
they argued over dumb things, out of the care they had in their hearts, and
they were a family. She had a loving family she was lucky to have and that was
MJ didn’t think she could love her mother anymore, but
knowing what she sacrificed and what she went through for her and Gail made her
realize how lucky she truly was to have a mother as strong and brave as her in
Even if she was happy to have found out the truth, her heart
still ached for what her mother went through for them. She felt lucky to have
the life and family that she has, confused about the life that she could have
had. Overall, it was just one big twisted and piled up mess that she didn’t
have a single clue how to process.
When MJ thinks of it, she doesn’t think she should be this
upset to be silently crying in the school’s gender-neutral bathrooms cubicle.
She didn’t even have any memories at all of her biological father, for crying
out loud, she was TWO. All she knew was her, Gail, Sam, and her mom in their
cramped Queens apartment, and taking summer road trips every now and then
because Dad insisted so, and her practical but secretly softie Mom didn’t have
the heart to say no for long even if it was hell to plan it all out.
MJ felt loved, she felt lucky, she felt like she very
literally could have dodged a bullet, she felt happy, she felt pity as well as
awe for her mother, and most of all, she felt she didn’t want to explain any of
all of this to some guy she annoyingly might have the tiniest crush on.
“Like, seriously, what the hell was Peter freaking Parker
even doing here?” MJ thought to herself. Here she was having her own private
confusing toil of an emotional process and suddenly there he was, Peter
freaking Parker with no clue whatsoever, who didn’t even know what bathroom he
was walking into.
MJ imagines for the briefest and yet longest of seconds,
actually talking about what she was going through to someone else, recalling
all of it inside her head. And then, she clears her throat, puts her mind back
to reality, and gets to work, “Okay, Parker, here’s what’s going to happen.
Let’s just let the unspoken rule of not acknowledging emotional breakdowns
happening in school bathrooms be in play with us today and pretend none of this
ever happened. We cool?” MJ looks to Peter, awaiting his response, at which
Peter could only grin and chuckle.
Peter thought it was so strange to have the faintest of
hints of who MJ really was barely noticeable with MJs usual casually witty
outside self so predominantly in display. It’s like, had Peter only seen MJ an
hour later from her tearing up in the bathroom, he probably would have never
suspected anything. A part of Peter is jealous MJ can keep her emotions so
tightly lidded and can redirect the spotlight from her just like that with a
snap of her fingers. Compared to him, who’s a mess, to say the least. So yeah, Peters
kind of glad to have been given an out from having to lie about being spidey.
She’ll go her way and he’ll go his. It was a clearer, direct, and more concise
agreement than he could have come up with had he been in the state she was.
“Yeah. Sure, MJ. It’s no problem at all. Were cool. I know I
haven’t exactly been the most open person either so thanks for being cool with
“Pfft, please, Peter, it’s not like you’re the only one with
secrets,” MJ says while washing her hands then wiping them dry.
“And besides, we’ve all got the right to share whatever we
want to share when we feel like it. We shouldn’t have to be obligated to talk
about our personal lives, unless of course if it might cause harm to ourselves
or other people or something, but that’s already a given. As long as it isn’t
hurting anybody, we should be free to keep things to ourselves.”
Peter could only slightly grin and nod in agreement.
“Anyways, it’s no big deal, like at all,” MJ thinks about
the weight on her shoulders and the weight Peter had that brought him to the
same place she went to. “Just, try not to pressure yourself too much about it.”
“Heh, yeah, thanks, I’ll try. I’ll try. But, uh, yeah, you
too. Hope ya can deal with whatever it is you’re going through.”
“Thanks, Peter,” MJ says, getting ready to leave, with her
hand on the bathroom doors handle.
Maybe it was the same damn voice that keeps running through
on repeat in Peters head, Bens, like an ear worm, every time Peter puts on that
suit or has to. Maybe it’s just the realization finally smacking Peter right on
his face how he didn’t know a thing about this friend? classmate? team captain?
that he’s been around with for years and knows things about him, yet he couldn’t
say the same thing about himself with MJ. Or maybe this is just another step he’s
taking on the journey to be less of the full-fledged avenger he deluded himself
into thinking he was and more into the friendly neighborhood spidey and high
school student he actually was. But no matter the reason, before he could stop
himself and over think, Peter stammered out “And MJ?”
“Yeah?” MJ turns back and answers, just as she was about to
“I hope we could talk about these things to each other
someday,” Peter admits, with a tight-lipped smile at the end of it, hoping his
inside self, losing his shit and doing somersaults, was just that, inside.
Peters last follow-up statement pierces MJs façade for what
she thinks may be and truly hopes, was just the briefest of milliseconds. But
what really pissed her off was that Peters lack of self-control must have been
infectious because she couldn’t explain what drove her off to end their
conversation with, “I hope that too, Peter.”
She even let out a smile, damn it, the smallest of ones that
she hopes to the universe, Peter didn’t notice as she led her quick escape out
“I’m not leaving until you come out, MJ,” Peter says,
standing next to the same cubicle Peter saw MJ in the last time they were here
together in this god forsaken gender-neutral bathroom.
“Peter, I’m fine. This is just my process, and I’m used to
crying alone so you can just go and fetch cats off of trees or whatever it is
your goody eight shoes alter-ego does.”
“Okay, first of all, I don’t just fetch cats off trees,
okay? I also fetch birds, raccoons, and even a snake there one time ugh,” Peter
shudders, remembering the freaky hipster incident. Worth it though, since he
thinks he heard it making his girlfriend laugh. He could have easily made it up
but the fact that it actually did happen, just makes it funnier in his
iconically comedic yet still so earnestly humble opinion.
“Whatever happened to the unspoken rule of letting bathroom
breakdowns not being acknowledged as they happen? Just let me invoke it again,
“Hhmm, pretty sure that rule doesn’t apply to people that
are dating, Em,” Peter cheekily argues as he squats down and leans next to the
MJ lets out a grumbly “Ughhh,” while smushing her face with
both her open palms in annoyance. But, she can’t help the smile sneaking its
way onto her face, out of disbelief.
Now, Peter is continuously knocking on said cubicle door
with the shoulder leaning on it, as he insists on getting MJ to come out and
talk it out with him instead.
“Come on, MJ. Okay you don’t have to come out, but at least
let me stay here and keep you company or something.”
Peter was about to say something else, but he seriously
hesitates saying it knowing for himself already how godforsaken cheesy it was,
that if he thought it was cheesy, MJ would find it intolerable. Good thing she
was already near a toilet, she can puke if she had to.
“I’m not going to be able to focus on being spidey if I know
you’re crying somewhere,” Peter says in an almost singing like way.
MJ kicks the cubicle door where Peter was leaning without
even thinking about it, and blurts out “You dumbass,” while laughing, unable to
even look where Peter the dumbass she can’t believe is her actual boyfriend
Peter chuckles at MJ reacting the way he thought she would,
and stands up, “Alright, MJ, fine. But if a bicycle thief gets away once I’m in
patrol, I’m telling the victim who’s to blame,” Peter goads to MJ as he takes a
couple of steps away then walks in place, wanting her to think he was leaving.
MJ wipes her face one more time, sighs, and then gets one
last eye roll out of the way seeing the shadow of her dumbass bf walking in
place from inside the cubicle. MJ once again busts out from the now historical cubicle,
quickly washing and wiping her hands dry immediately as she leaves it. All the
while, Peters wearing a shit-eating grin on his face. And as MJ finishes, she
grabs Peters hand, and leads him out of the second floors gender-neutral
bathroom. MJ finally looks at him and his dumbass knowing smirk, and merely
says “Don’t,” leading Peter to try his hardest at pressing his lips together
and miserably - not even that mad at it - failing to keep his grin in check.
Peter and MJ leave the bathroom in silence, both glad that
the someday they talked about at this very bathroom actually unexpectedly but
pleasantly came true.
omggg this fic actually made me prettty nervous hahaha. it’s the first time i wrote a fic concerning the version of mj’s backstory in my head haha. and the emboldened heading italicized title after the initial start/summary is what i consider the actual title of this one but i didnt want to put it at the beginning cus i wanted it to be like a surprise. like if yalls knew peter was in the gender neutral bathroom, it wouldnt have hit as well? yall feels me? hahha
hope yalls liked it. i’ve well established by now that im the biggest fan of developing peter & mj’s relationship before ffh but i just liked i got to show the growth of their relationship, the before & after… yalls feel me? huhuhu :’‘‘>>>