laudmoore fake dating au tho
ashton is well into their adulthood but still has ties to people (adoptive family? idk) who think they should be over "this whole queer punk phase" and settle down with a nice girl
okay, maybe "settling down" with a nice girl would get them off their back
they just so happen to know a "nice girl" those people will never forget...
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This week in I Have Reading Comprehension Problems (Or Solutions???):
Sees a post that begins with, "Alright, characters and emojis."
The post then goes on to discuss some subject matter having to do with characters and emojis; the opening line essentially being read as, "Alright: characters and emojis."
My brain read it as, [Facilitator/teacher/speaker steps up in front of crowd, decides to deliver amazing new gender-neutral greeting] "AL-RIIIIIGHT, characters and emojis!!!"
(I am absolutely stealing this for facilitation occasions. You should, too.)
Second item:
Reads a post with many other words in it. It was about happy trails.
My brain reads it as, "Cannot fathom any genders other than valid and hot."
There you go. New gender binary.
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Crab Day
okay, so here's a new info post from the top.
the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.
solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)
the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)
i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.
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Ankh-Morpork Dashboard Simulator
happy 40th anniversary everyone 🥳🥳
🌅peach-bi-street
who’s that watchman who’s kinda skrunkly
🐀↺riverrat Follow
helen.
HELEN. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NOBBY NOBBS.
🌅↺peach-bi-street
oh yeah
#are you gonna look at me and tell me that im WRONG?
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🪙official-c.m.o.t.☑️☑️Sponsored with Blaze
C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s Escape The Room!!!!!
Newly opened in the Street of Cunning Artificers is an experience unlike any you’ve had before! Enter a room filled with secrets and mysteries which you must solve in order to escape! Great place to bring a date! Compete with other visitors for the fastest time to solve the room!
Show this ad at the front desk for a special deal of only one dollar per person, and that’s cuttin’ me own throat!!!
Dibbler Enterprises does not take any responsibility for any maiming, hot oil, buckets of snakes, or any other hazards guests may encounter in their visit.
#smallbusiness #ankhmorpork #ankhblr #deals
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🚹humantwitter Follow
4,981 notes
💌postal-service-top Follow
saw the postmaster today in his stupid gold suit. hes so hot
🌚↺lesbianbaker
i don’t get why people say this he’s the most average looking guy ever. his WIFE however
#you know that post that’s like ur at a lesbian bar and a hot older woman is smoking #and ur like. ‘can yuo put that out on me’ #yeah
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🥁evenmoremendeddrum Follow
do you guys think the patrician has a secret blog
🛤️↺makeyefret Follow
No, but I bet his secretary is on studyblr
🐶↺wufflesgirl Follow
are you kidding me the patrician is definitely on tumblr. brb committing treason so i can compliment his shoelaces
🥁↺evenmoremendeddrum Follow
peer-reviewed tags
#lord vetinari if ur reading this is legally a joke #wear an owl pin if ur one of us
🏚️↺ankhmorporkheritageposts Follow
Ankh-Morpork Heritage Post
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trainhoe-deactivated19890205
hot take but i kind of think the guild of assassins and thieves are problematic. like one of them you could ruin someone’s life and the other one you’re literally KILLING people. i know rich people are delusional but i can’t believe they literally think the best school for their kids is murder college.
🐲essential-dragons Follow
assassins got them
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Since I'm almost done working on em here's my demolition lovers costumes so far!
I started this in like mid/late March I believe
This is my first time doing beading ever, I probably should have started with something smaller or even tested on some scrap but I am nothing if not stupidly ambitious.
I wanna say this is roughly 14hours of work so far, I still want to add more to the dress and possibly make some accessories, we will see what I can get done by Saturday lol
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dp x dc prompt/mini blurb thing:
Somewhere along the line, stealing the Batmobile had seemed like the best option.
Elle would stand by that - admittedly short-sighted and kind of panic induced - logic. It was a vehicle that no one would try and stop. It was fast. The keys were in the ignition. Easiest car theft of her life. Or, well, unlife. Whatever. Still the easiest.
She may have forgotten that Superman could fly as fast as the stupid tank of a car could go. Or that Gotham had other vigilantes, that had bikes that were way more maneuverable, or that Billy was a big baby about car chases.
“WATCH THE ROAD!”
“YOU WATCH THE ROAD I’M DRIVING HERE!”
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Bruce trains with the League of Shadows, grows close with Talia and Ra’s, but — eventually — spurns their movement to return to Gotham and pursue his mission.
Years later, he shows up in the middle of the night at Talia’s door. There’s a body in his arms, wrapped in bloodstained sheets.
“The Pit,” he whispers, trembling, “is it true?”
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