#this is late because i just finished acosf

[starsreminisce]

When does Lucien look at Elain with longing?

ACOWAR Chapter 34

Not to me, I realized—to someone behind me. Pale and thin, Elain stood atop the stairs. Their gazes locked and held. But Elain said nothing. Did not so much as take one step downward. Lucien inclined his head in a bow, the movement hiding the gleam in his eye—the longing and sadness.

ACOSF Chapter 58

He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings. Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing.

While it's not specifically Lucien "looking" at Elain with longing, one of the most overlooked Elucien moments arises when Feyre discusses her guilt for delving into his mind during the library scene in the same chapter.

ACOWAR Chapter 24

My gut tightened as I took a seat at the vanity and began braiding my hair into a coronet atop my head. Perhaps I was a coward, for not being able to ask it aloud, but I said down the bond, Was it a violation—going into Lucien’s mind like that? I can’t answer that for you. Rhys came over and handed me a hairpin. I slid it into a section of braid. I needed to be sure—that he wasn’t about to try to grab her, to sell us out. He handed me another. And did you get an answer to that? We worked in unison, pinning my hair into place. I think so. It wasn’t just about what he thought —it was the … feeling. I sensed no ill will, no conniving. Only concern for her. And … sorrow. Longing. I shook my head. Do I tell him? What I did? Rhys pinned a hard-to-reach section of my hair. You have to deem whether the cost is worth assuaging your guilt. The cost being Lucien’s tentative trust in me, this place.

Right from the start, Feyre sensed Lucien's longing, and we were given insight into why he might look at Elain with sadness in ACOWAR. Lucien has often expressed feeling unneeded and unwanted, a sentiment that was highlighted just before he and Elain locked eyes in the library. In that moment, he couldn't breathe because she appeared to him as the most beautiful fae he'd ever seen, and he felt a sense of belonging to her.

What's particularly interesting is the parallel between ACOWAR and ACOSF. In ACOWAR, Lucien looked at Elain with longing, yet she took no action towards him, instead declaring her desire to be with Graysen, only for him to reject her due to her mating bond. Elain's reaction was akin to being punched in the face. Yet, in their next encounter, she smiled at Lucien, followed his lead, and even invited him to live in Velaris.

This pattern repeats in ACOSF, where once again Lucien looks at Elain with longing, and once again she takes no action. Later that night, she offers Azriel permission, only for him to reject her, calling it a mistake after Rhys intervenes. Elain, hurt and confused, apologizes to Azriel, who in turn struggles to finish his own apology to her. Instead of hoping for Azriel to change his mind, as she did with Graysen, she returns his present.

Considering SJM's fondness for patterns, this second rejection after Lucien's longing gaze might just be the catalyst for Elain to finally address her mating bond.

Lucien seems to be in good company, as he's not the only one who has gazed at someone he's interested in with both longing and sadness.

ACOWAR Chapter 15

When I looked ahead, I found Cassian staring back at Nesta as well. I wondered why no one had yet mentioned what now shone in Cassian’s eyes as he gazed at my sister. The sorrow. And the longing.

SJM also made a point to illustrate Azriel's longing gaze towards someone.

ACOSF Chapter 22

“It doesn’t matter what I want.” Distant words—ones that prevented Cassian from prying further. He was still happy to be Mor’s buffer with Azriel, but there’d been a change lately. In both of them. Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up. Cassian couldn’t think why.

Interestingly, Cassian couldn't fathom why even when Elain was in the room with them. Furthermore, Eris was devoid of longing towards Nesta, contrasting with how Cassian had looked at Nesta previously.

ACOSF Chapter 62

And then he turned toward the other subject in his letter, facing Nesta before he asked, “And my offer for you?” Not one ounce of affection or longing laced his words.

#elucien #pro elucien #elain x lucien #asks #i love being an elucien #every single time I look at their interactions #something new pops up

[lanitalay]

One Day : Chapter 6.5

based on the netflix series by the same name

a/n: honestly this has been really cathartic for me to write because in my mind, the reader is harboring so much anger that it shuts her down and i went through something similar last year where I just retreated into myself and it was a dark place to be. So of course I cried writing this. And I never really liked ACOSF but Nesta's arc has always been compelling because i hold on to anger and forgiveness does not come naturally to me. So yeah, enjoy, hopefully.

warnings: angsty, drinking, sad

word count: 800

Masterlist

Winter Solstice was alright in your opinion. Not your favorite holiday, but it wasn’t the worst day of the year. Nesta had reluctantly accepted Feyre’s invitation to the Townhouse but you told her you’d visit Bec, who had been begging you to see you for months now. You were dressed in a coat, mittens and boots and stood in front of the door of your, let's be honest, run down apartment. 

You didn’t want to go out. Didn’t want to see your friends’ faces when they looked at you. So you stood by the door for a while, until it got too late to leave, by the time you’d arrive the festivities would be over. 

Sighing, you threw off the coat and mittens, opting to flop down on the couch. Nesta said she’d come by when she was done with the Inner Circle. You refused to acknowledge the clawing in your chest. It wasn’t that you didn’t miss your friends, you did. But the anger you felt was all consuming. There they were, carrying on like usual and you were still there. Still in the war camps. Praying to the Mother to help you save as many lives as possible. Still stuck in your little cabin with Lenus. It was like having a bloodhound constantly chasing you, never stopping. The memories, the vivid images would come from the very back of your mind and sink  their jagged teeth into your flesh. 

Without looking you knew the cabinets were empty. The last bottle of wine was somewhere in the bathroom, you’d finished it while getting ready to head out. 

There was a knock at the door. It was past midnight, Nesta lasted longer than you thought she would. Though, you hoped she had spoken with her sisters. You get up “finally, let's go to Jax’s, I’m out of booze.” You grab her hand and walk with her out of the building. “How was it?” 

“Fine, how was Bec’s” 

“Didn’t go.” 

“Why?” 

“Just couldn’t.” Once at the club you sat down in your usual booth. “The band they have tonight is good.” Music filled the space and you were immediately transported to all the nights spent at Rita’s. “I’ll go get us drinks.” 

When you returned to the booth you found that Nesta had taken to the dance floor so you joined her. The club was not packed as usual so you two could dance freely without worrying about bumping into strangers. It was always freeing. Dancing with Nesta, the tingle on your skin from the liquor, multicolor faelights lighting up the space and the music thumping in your chest. Cold hands grabbed at your waist and pulled you back into a male body. You complied and danced against him, reveling in the feel of skin against skin. 

The band finished its set and the male you were dancing with still held your hand.  “Wanna keep the party going?” He whispered in your ear. You nodded, biting your lower lip. “Nes, we’re gonna head out.” She was standing by the bar talking with Jax and before you turned to leave she grabbed your arm. “Here,” she pulled a small box and envelope from one of her coat pockets. 

“What 's this?” But she was too involved in her conversation and your companion was too eager to leave so you didn’t get your answer until you got to the apartment. 

You excused yourself and went into your bedroom and immediately pulled out the little box. It was wrapped in pretty blue paper that you couldn’t appreciate at the club. Carefully, you unwrapped and opened it. There was a piece of paper folded neatly, your name scrawled on it in beautiful writing. Something soured in your throat. Taking out the paper allowed you to see what was beneath. 

You set it down and read the letter, hoping for an explanation. 

“Happy Winter Solstice, in. This is supposed to stay put all day, hope you like it. I miss you.”

“I’m this close to cutting my hair off” you told Azriel, exasperated because your locks kept getting in the way of you inspecting his stitches. “Don’t you have something to tie your hair with?”

“Yeah but they always slip and just cause more problems.” 

Inside the box was a cobalt blue ribbon. 

“I changed my mind, get out.”

“Baby don’t be like that.” 

“Get out!” You forced him up from the couch and shoved him out the door, slamming it shut. Tears cascading down your cheeks the second you were alone. 

“She’ll come around eventually.” Bec said as she put an arm on Azriel’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know how to help her… she’s made herself a ghost.”

“I’ve known her for longer than you have, Az. She’s hurting… and it hurts to be pushed away by her. It’s like being on the dark side of the moon after a lifetime of sunshine. But she was the same when her parents died and… somehow she put herself back together.”

“There has to be something I can do.”

“Just be there when she comes back.”

#acosf #acotar #acofas #acotar fanfiction #acowar #azriel shadowsinger #acomaf #rhysand #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel #az x reader #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin

[ubervillez]

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce 1/5

When I saw @extraayogurt 's architecture/design lot for their hood I loved the concept so much I knew I had to add it into Belladonna Cove. The idea is so clever and imaginative and would never have occurred to me in a billion years, so lucky for me they were so kind to share this nearly cc-free lot!

It's the lot I play with when I'm stuck on a current lot I'm working on or feel like I've hit a block and just want to decorate something without thinking too hard. It's got all of these cute little sections that I'm slowly filling up and I can change them when I want!

I like to have a show in the background while I'm simming/doing anything and lately it's Mad Men! I think seasons 2-5 are some of the best in TV! It's funny (to me) to kind of see glimpses of what I was hyper focusing on throughout my game. Like in my last save, one of my Sims had two pets named Cassian and Nesta because I had just finished ACOSF and was still obsessed.

SCDP would have been interesting as an architecture/interior design firm instead of advertising lol this lot is certainly more fun decorating it as such instead of making it into an ad office.

#ts2 #sims 2 #the sims 2 #sims 2 gameplay #sims 2 pictures #thesims2 #ts2 pictures #sims 2 interior #ub: 2024 #cate maxis makeovers

[acourtofthought]

Making the Case for Elucien’s Book Already Having Been in the Works

The link to SJM’s Live Talks LA with Eva Chen is linked below and takes place after the release of ACOSF but here are some of the important take aways:

Do you have a book planned for the other sister? (referring to Elain)

24:50 - “Yes, to everything.  As soon as Nesta and Elain came back on the page in ACOMAF, I knew they would have journey's beyond what the reader was seeing.”

27:55 - “each book is a standalone that features it's own couple”

28:50 - Writing ACOWAR but finishing up ACOMAF - she told her editor  "what plans I had for Elain"

29:50 - "because this is where I wanted it go it allowed me to plant things for her journey and even Elain's journey early on"

30:48 - "I always try to keep one eye on the horizon when I'm writing just to make sure in the book I'm working on, I can set up for things later on. So there's lot of little secrets in SF that set up for later.” (this entire line of responses was based around having set up Nesta and ELAIN’s journey so it’s safe to say that some of the secrets she’s referring to in SF are in reference to Elain.  E/riels always use Elain and Az’s Bonus Chapter as proof of endgame and that Elain is Az’s secret but SJM is talking about secrets she’s left for the reader to find.  Nesta claiming “Az’s secret to tell” is not a secret to the reader at all.  Secrets are.....why Nesta placed the carving of the rose made for Elain next to a goddess figure.  Secrets are....hinting that Spring was MADE for someone like Elain.  Secrets are....placing both Lucien and Elain in Spring in future books as well as hinting that they’ll both end up traveling to the continent where Koschei is.  Secrets are the hints that someone other than Rhys may be High King and Lucien is showing the first markers of becoming a High Lord.  Secrets are what the real reason for Elain’s stealth like behaviors might be.  

33:13 - "basically I want to go everywhere except the Spring Court because Tamlin sucks.  But I love the Spring.  That's my problem.  Some of the seasons I adore but the people who run the courts are like giant douchebags.

50:00 - (talking about Silver Flames) We sent it off to the printer this past fall.

57:00 - Are there any iconic couples in pop culture of history or movies that you "stan", that might have been inspiring for any of the couples in any of your.....

57:36 - I don't think I was inspired by any of the couples but during the pandemic I’d done a bunch of rereading of Pride and Prejudice and listened to it and watched that BBC adaptation but Elizabeth and Darcy are......I can't get enough of their sexual tension.

58:40 - They have just as much sexual chemistry and tension as any graphically described relationship  

58:50 - I have spent a lot of time imagining what the Darcy / Elizabeth wedding night would be like.  

59:20 - I've spent a lot of time thinking about Pride and Prejudice lately. Elizabeth and Darcy and their relationship and what he does for her by the end of that book and how she evolves and changes by the end of the book.  I mean they both change and evolve and that's what I love most about their story, they're still very much themselves by the end of that book but they develop an understanding of each other and they've also grown because of each other and grown because of confronting each other.

After the last comment at 59:20, SJM then brings it back to Nesta and Cassian saying “and Nesta and Cassian I’m not going to be arrogant enough saying they’re just like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy because they’re different stories but that’s the kind of relationship I like to write about.

.......But, Silver Flames had already been released and at 59:20, she said that she’s been spending a lot of time thinking about Pride and Prejudice lately.  So to me, she’s not thinking about P&P because of Nessian since their story had already been told and theirs was definitely a graphically described romance.  She then says Nesta and Cassian are maybe a reverse P&P where she’s more like Mr. Darcy and he’s more like Elizabeth but to me they don’t give off P & P vibes.  Sure, Nesta had stubbornness but it was more about her own self hatred.  Elizabeth and Darcy’s issues arose because of the first impressions they had about the other person which is very similar to the way Elain and Lucien found out they were Mates, it set the tone for their entire relationship so far (not to mention Lucien initially felt humans were inferior to the Fae in ACOTAR as Darcy struggled with Elizabeth’s “lesser” class).  There also wasn’t a lot of sexual tension in Nessian’s book considering the sex played a large role very early on and they lack the propriety that Elizabeth and Darcy did.  

There is no other SJM couple that embodies Pride and Prejudice more thoroughly than Elain and Lucien, two characters who need to learn to “confront one another” and I can't imagine why she would have repeatedly been reading / watching / listening to it unless she was channeling Elucien.

Azriel may be broody but his thoughts are extremely graphic in nature and he's violent (not at all Darcy like).  There’s also no way for him to still be "very much himself" by the end of his book and end up a match for Elain. SJM likes her characters to grow but not be unrecognizable.

In the same interview she spoke of hints for Elain’s journey, she calls Tamlin a douchebag so I highly doubt she’s building towards a Tamlain ship.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrC23s33UxI&t=1742s

#pro elucien #elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #anti e/riel #anti tamlain #elain x lucien #lucien and elain #elain and lucien #lucien x elain

[nikethestatue]

Hi!! I have read all your elriel fics and I absolutely love them, thank you so much for feeding us more content!! I’m fairly new to the fandom itself but I was instantly hooked on the soft girl x emo boy trope lol and I just love the way you write them!! I didn’t even know there was this much contention over ships with azriel since this man has said maybe like 5 sentences total across the entire series but lol ok… I remember seeing ships of him and Gwyn online before I finished the books and once she was introduced in acosf I was so excited lowkey for him to get ANY love interest… only to get like maybe 3 barely friendly interactions between them?? Gwyn is great - do not get me wrong - but I’m sorry I just don’t see any scrap of relationship between them and I cannot believe this is the hill people are dying on.

I am just waiting for elriel to happen because god they’re so adorable!! I can only read ffics until their book comes next but I feel like so betrayed by even ffics lately because there have been so many new fics I’ve started that have Elriel has the main relationship tag but then 17 chapters in they decide to have Az go after gwyn or god forbid Eris randomly and I just cannot….. like why have a fic have the first pairing as elriel if you’re gonna do that?? Anyways sorry that turned into a mini rant but ugh just please keep writing I love your writing style and your updates are always the highlight of my day!

Thank you so much! This has made my day.

I am so happy that you are enjoying my little stories and takes on my favourite couple. I do agree--they are so adorable. You are so right, I love how soft and gentle they are with each other, especially Azriel, who is so seemingly tough and inscrutable being all 'omg, take my hand, let me take you to the garden!'

I love it. I love them together. I think they are such a departure for SJM and my biggest fear is that she won't do them justice and will write them badly. That everything that makes them special will be given up for some ridiculous training or some such nonsense that nobody needs anymore.

Yeah, it was pretty quiet on Azriel front until ACOSF, until he was randomly paired with a random character and then suddenly all hell broke loose.

Well, I aint ever gonna be a Gwynriel. So no worries. THough I like to keep everyone on edge from time to time. :)

[vulpes-fennec]

Shadows Tell Me (If He Really Cares) (3/4)

Summary: For someone whose job title is “spymaster of the Night Court”, Azriel Shadowsinger is surprisingly oblivious to Gwyneth Berdara’s heavy-handed flirtation this Winter Solstice season (or is he?). What will it take for these bumbling fools to get together before the night ends? A mish-mash of Gwynriel holiday fluff (set post-ACOSF).

A gift for @shadowsxgwynriel for @acotargiftexchange!!

Notes: I made a Youtube playlist to go with this fic! Keep reading for Gwynriel caroling fluff!

Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | AO3

🎶3 days before Solstice🎶 It was only late afternoon, but the red winter sun was already setting on the horizon. As Azriel briefed Rhys on the latest news in the River House, his mind wandered towards what Gwyn was doing. Probably transcribing manuscripts in the library. Azriel could picture Gwyn concentrating on an ancient book, brows furrowed and pen scribbling, her hair falling down to shield her face. Or maybe she is gossiping with Nesta over afternoon snacks at the House of Wind.

He was starving by the time he finished recounting his mission to the Dawn Court. Rhys had invited Azriel to stay for dinner, but Azriel declined. He needed time to recharge after a long day of work. Peace and quiet were essential to his mental sanity, and as much as he loved his nephew Nyx, babies were prone to crying at the most inopportune moments. 

Azriel rounded the corner and slammed into Gwyn. Gods damn it, you sneaky bastards, he cursed at his shadows. You need to stop surprising me with the priestess. The River House was the last place Azriel expected to see her, too. 

“Oof! Sorry about that, Az!” Gwyn furtively tucked a bound package into her satchel. “What are you doing here?” Azriel stared at the priestess for a good five seconds, taking in her warm blue eyes and the rosy curve of her lips, before registering the fact that her voice was high-pitched and breathless. That’s suspicious, he thought. That’s weird. 

“I was giving Rhysand an update. What are you doing here?” Azriel tried to lean casually against the wall. 

Gwyn blinked at his face, at a similar loss for words. “Nothing?”

“What’s that in your bag?” Azriel jutted out his chin at her brown satchel.

“Nothing.” Gwyn’s teal eyes darted sideways nervously.

Azriel raised a brow. “You’re acting very strange right now, Berdara. Hand it over.” 

“No!” Gwyn turned away, walking down the hall quickly. 

“Gwyneth. Hey! Gwyneth!” Azriel caught up to her with a light jog. “As spymaster of the Night Court, I demand to know what you have in your bag.”

“Why?”

Azriel blew a sigh of frustration. “Why? Because you don’t come to the River House on a regular basis? Because you could be sneaking court confidential information out?” 

Gwyn’s jaw dropped. “You really think I would do that? That I’m selling you guys out?” Her voice was hurt.

“What? No! I mean, no, but you really did just answer my questions with vague ‘nothing’ so how could I not be suspicious?” Azriel protested.

“It’s a Solstice present,” Gwyn mumbled, clutching her satchel tighter to her chest. 

“Who’s it for?” 

“You.” Azriel crossed his arms sternly. Of course she would say that…social rules kept him from peeking at a Solstice gift meant for him. Gwyn also stopped and sighed. “You have to trust me, Az. Please? You think Rhysand and Feyre’s wards would just let me in? I’m not part of your family!” 

Not part of the family? Azriel’s shadows swirled around him indignantly. What does she mean, not part of the family?!? Why isn’t she part of the family yet, hmm? Also, can’t you see our priestess is distressed, Azriel?

They’re right. Azriel paused. She’s right. His heart pounded painfully in his chest at Gwyn’s forlorn expression. He took a step back. “I-I’m sorry, Gwyn. I just got back from another court…I’m still in work mode and…and I was not thinking straight.” 

Gwyn bit her lip and stared at her feet, contemplating. “You sure are apologizing a lot these days,” she said softly after a pause. 

“Only when it comes to you, it seems.” As they silently regarded each other, Gwyn’s stomach suddenly growled loudly in the hallway. She placed a hand on her abdomen sheepishly.

“You know what? I accept food as an apology,” Gwyn announced. “Care to take me out to dinner before we go back home?” 

Take me out to dinner. Go back home. Our home? Azriel wondered if he heard the priestess correctly. A shadow seemed to kick him in the leg. “Oh! Yes, I was just thinking of…of picking something up to eat before flying home,” Azriel stammered out. “Let’s go. I’m starving, too.”

“Great!” Gwyn smiled cheerfully, the worried creases of her brow melting away. She bounced her way down the hall, clearly excited at the prospect of food.

“What do you want to eat, Gwyn?” Azriel asked. Take me out to dinner. Go back home. Her nonchalant words echoed in his mind. 

“I’m good with anything. It’s up to you, Az!” Gwyn chirped, throwing the ball back into Azriel’s court. “I don’t know Velaris as well as you do, and I trust your pick.” A blast of cold air greeted them as they strode out the front door. 

Azriel had shared plenty of meals alone with Gwyn up at the House of Wind. But this was going to be different. They were going out to a real restaurant. Which they had never done before. It would be like a date. Well…is Gwyn trying to make it a date, or did she just want me to buy her food? Am I trying to make it a date by thinking of it as a date? What if she doesn’t like the place I pick? Wait, what place SHOULD I pick? 

“Eeeek!” Gwyn’s squeal snapped Azriel’s frazzled mind back to reality. The Valkyrie’s feet had slipped on the cobblestone, and she was windmilling her arms wildly for balance. 

“Cauldron, Gwyn!” Azriel’s hands, strong and secure, shot out to grab her around the waist. He steadied her, watching the panic fade from her teal blue eyes as she regained solid footing. “Be careful with the ice!” 

“Oh. So that was what you meant when you said that snow on the ground turns to ice.” Gwyn gave him a sheepish grin. “See? You definitely catch me most of the time.” 

Azriel only sighed and offered his arm again, but Gwyn grabbed his bare hand instead. “You don’t mind this, do you?” she asked quickly, her eyes apprehensive. 

“Not at all,” Azriel managed to croak out, though every nerve in his scarred hand felt like they were exploding with fireworks. In his 500 years of existence, this was the first time he strolled the streets of Velaris holding someone’s hand. The sensation was simultaneously thrilling, yet comforting. And when Gwyn squeezed his hand, Azriel felt like Velaris had truly become home. 

He had no idea where to go for dinner, but his shadows certainly did. They motioned for him and Gwyn to follow them through the winding streets, into a cute cafe tucked in a small square. It must be a new establishment, Azriel mused, for he had never eaten there before. He gulped audibly after realizing how fancy it was on the inside. 

I’m trusting you all to make the right decision, he said sternly to the shadows. 

Don’t worry, Azriel. She will love it, they reassured him. We picked the perfect place for you to win our priestess over! Azriel stifled the urge to growl at the meddling wisps that tittered over their heads. 

🎶After dinner🎶

Gwyn had read about dinner dates in her romance novels, but she certainly wasn’t prepared to have one with Azriel on this fine evening. Her question had been asked in jest, but it seemed he took her request to eat dinner very seriously. This isn’t an OFFICIAL dinner date, Gwyn tried to tell herself as she gripped Azriel’s hand. Azriel will probably grab a quick bite from a market stall because he’s a busy male. Don’t expect too much. 

But then the shadows led them to a fairly nice establishment. With tablecloths and candles. It looked positively romantic, and she was not dressed—nor prepared—for such an occasion.

Gwyn’s empty stomach did flip-flops when Azriel asked the waitress for a table for two. It twisted into knots when he pulled a chair out for her to sit. It churned uneasily when she took in the overwhelming number of options on the menu. 

But her worries dissipated by the time food came out. Gwyn and Azriel ravenously dug into savory flatbreads, hearty soups, and grilled meats. Despite the more formal setting, their conversation was lighthearted and natural: Azriel regaling her with stories of the Dawn Court, Gwyn sharing the latest library drama with Merrill. 

Gwyn had tipped her head back with bright laughter at several of Azriel’s sarcastic jokes. And the shadowsinger gave her his undivided attention, his hazel eyes warm like pools of honey in the candlelight. The shadows were calm, too, for they lounged on the tops of Azriel’s wings

When it came time to pay, Gwyn was ready to fight Azriel to foot her half of the bill. “You don’t need to pay me back, Berdara,” he said calmly, handing the waitress a pile of coins. Gwyn frowned. She was the one who proposed going out to eat, but the spymaster ended up paying. Surely he knew that males paying for dinner meant the dinner was classified as a date.  

“I’m scared to consider what kind of favor you’re calling in for that,” Gwyn grumbled as they walked out the door. “A hundred push-ups? Polishing your entire dagger collection? Handing over my chocolate stash?” 

Azriel chuckled. “As enticing as those sound, Berdara, I’m not going to ask for those. Your pleasant company is enough for me.”

“You flatter me, Az,” Gwyn replied dryly. 

“Did you like the restaurant, though?” he asked worriedly. 

“Of course! I loved it. It was the nicest place I’ve been to,” she assured him. “I haven’t had food that tasty in ages.” 

“Good. The shadows have good taste, then. Anyways…that was a lot of food. I think I need to take a walk,” Azriel said, stretching his wings out and shaking them. “Care to join me before we go home?” Gwyn’s heart pounded at how his phrasing paralleled her earlier ask. There’s no way it could have been a coincidence, she thought as Azriel’s hazel eyes twinkled with amusement. He’s doing it deliberately…teasing me…and sending me a message? 

The ease at which their hands slipped together made Gwyn feel as if they’d held hands a million times already. Gwyn had watched the shining city from the mountains nearly every night, longing to partake in the lively activities. And now, she was truly here, in a city come to life in the dark. If Velaris was delightful during the day, it was far more charming at night. As Gwyn and Azriel wandered through the Velaris Rainbow, Gwyn couldn’t help but wonder if this was how first dates were supposed to feel. 

He took me out to eat. We’re holding hands. We’re exploring the city. This checks all the boxes for a date, but…it’s not, Gwyn mused.

I feel giddy, but I also feel comfortable. I feel safe. I feel…Gwyn blinked, realizing that she no longer saw Sangravah as her home. I feel like I’m home when I’m with Azriel. 

At the jingle of bells, the pair cocked their heads. “I think those are carolers,” Azriel observed.

Indeed, a small group of carolers were singing traditional Solstice songs in the next square over. Bells, violins, lutes, guitars, and drums also provided the supporting melody. Though the city square’s acoustics were not as perfect as the underwater cave for the priestesses, the beautiful music was still clear and the carolers’ mighty voices vibrated powerfully through the winter chill. 

Having done plenty of singing with the priestesses, Gwyn was content to listen. But then one of the lead carolers beckoned to the crowd gathered in the square. “Audience members, please join us in the songs! The more the merrier!” 

As the Fae around them swelled in song, Gwyn tempered the volume of her voice, allowing the carolers and audience members to take center stage. Halfway through the carol, though, she noticed that Azriel had remained resolutely quiet. “Excuse me, but I have yet to hear you sing! Come on, Az!” Gwyn elbowed him playfully. The shadowsinger’s face was stiff and apprehensive, but Gwyn’s buoyant vocals and encouraging smiles eventually coaxed Azriel to open his mouth. 

They call you shadowsinger. Is it because you sing? Gwyn had asked him that last Solstice. Now, nearly a year later, she finally heard the shadowsinger’s song. And it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever heard. 

Music always had a special place in Gwyn’s heart, but it was Azriel’s voice that plucked at the strings of her very soul. It was like her heart recognized his song and his energy as the missing piece to her world.

Gwyn had heard Azriel speak the ancient language when they worked on some of her translations together, but hearing him sing those foreign words was a wholly new experience. Her mezzo-soprano tone was soft and husky, full of light and smooth as honey. Azriel’s low voice amplified, matching her’s in strength and intensity. Their melodies wove together, sweet and strong and full of electrifying energy. 

Azriel’s shadows even pirouetted and fluttered between their wisps of breath, merrily dancing to the festive carol. When the carol came to a close with dramatic flourish, Azriel glanced down at Gwyn, whose face was red-cheeked from the cold. She crossed her arms over her chest, raising her eyebrows. “What?” he asked, amused.

“I cannot believe you’ve been hiding the voice of an angel from me!” Gwyn pouted. 

Azriel gave her a crooked smile. “Some secrets are mine to keep,” he said mysteriously. 

“Hmph. Not anymore, shadowsinger,” Gwyn said with smug satisfaction. “I will learn all your little secrets.” 

“Uh huh. That’s very believable,” he quipped wryly, a strange look crossing his face. The carolers and audience launched into the next song, prompting the pair to rejoin them. When the caroling was over, Gwyn and Azriel continued to make their way to the House of Wind. As they walked, Azriel continued to hum the carols under his breath, his handsome face peaceful and content. 

The city’s holiday spirit was so different from the measured formality of the priestess celebrations. Gwyn peeked through golden-lit windows as they walked by. Families were gathered around the dinner table, artists put up last-minute decorative touches, and couples slow-danced in living rooms. It was so merry, so full of life. I wonder if I will ever have a cozy home like that, one day. If Azriel and I…if we will ever have a life together like normal people. 

Having the spymaster walk slowly beside her, with her hand snugly warm in his…that dream seemed closer to reality than ever. The night was almost perfect. Almost.

“You’ve been very quiet, priestess,” Azriel observed.  

“I was just thinking…that there are so many beautiful things in the world,” Gwyn said carefully, parsing through her thoughts. They’d reached the base of the mountain, which meant Azriel would fly her up any minute now. She turned around, gazing at the streets before her that were vibrant with life. “Reading and dreaming of faraway lands has been nice…but the real world has been happening right under my nose all along. And being out in Velaris tonight…it feels like my hopes and dreams are finally coming true.”

Read: Chapter 4

#gwynriel #gwyn berdara #azriel shadowsinger #gwyn x azriel #gwynriel fanfic #gwynriel fluff #acotar solstice #acotar gift exchange #acotar secret santa #acotar secret santa 2022

[abruisedmuse]

Idk if you're ever gonna see this but did you ever end up writing the Elucien full fic you wanted to make back in April? The one where he meets and startles her late at night. I just couldn't find the link and I really wanted to read it. No worries if it doesn't exist! Just thought I'd ask :)

*Sorry for any typos. I can’t find my glasses and my vision sucks lmao

Hey Love!

I've been sitting on this ask for about a week unsure how to answer. (I didn’t mean to have it sit that long I was busy with Halloween.)  Even though it's a relatively easy answer I wanna take this opportunity to state why my answer is what it is. I made a post a few months back but I can’t locate it.

Wouldn’t be surprised if I upset some people with this response but I need to get it all out. To be honest and transparent (blame the trauma and anxiety hooray!) I’m going to preface this by saying when I say acotar fandom, mention shippers or character stans I don’t mean all of them. I’ve met some amazing people within this fandom who I love to bits, it’s just better to use broader terms. I don’t mean to offended these are just my personal thoughts and how I feel as an individual. If anyone reading this does get offended well that says more about you than me doesn’t it?

Short answer: it’s in my docs. No I don’t have plans to finish it at the moment.

 And here's why aka the long answer:

I am taking a huge step back from acotar. To put it simply, since acosf especially it hasn’t been a good fandom. There's been so much toxicity and immaturity within it. And Its honestly exhausting to see. No matter what social media you're on people are just...well they're ugly about alot of topics. Whether its ship wars, characters, or the story itself. It's just this circle you know? It's not just the E/riels or the Rhys can do no wrong stans. There's negativity in every corner of this fandom. Yes, all fandoms have this. Were all human and we wanna defend what we enjoy and what characters we like. However with the length people go to in this fandom to attack one another is shocking. People will literally chase someone on social media to drag them because of their opinions. I've seen this type of behavior in Harry Potter, Supernatural, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, a little in Stranger Things etc. Name a fandom I’ve seen it. I’ve never seen it to the magnitude that is Acotar. I mean I got dragged for posting a vote for overlays that I’m buying, people have poked fun of Sjm’s kids, bullying artists on insta, fic writers to the point they don’t want to be active anymore, commenting/reblogging fics with how much they hate the ship, among other things. 

Around the time I began working on this fic there was more E/riel, Gwynriel, Elucien drama. On top of my recent experience with the voting this just added to my unhappiness and cause me to realize that I had fallen out of love with this fandom. I didn't wanna write for it. I didn't wanna make edits or posts for it anymore. Because why? Why dedicate my time and energy for such a hateful fandom? You’d think the toxic fans would be tired. But no. It’s always the fans that wanna be active and enjoy the space that become tired. That’s what I am. Tired. I’m over it. I know I’m not the only one. 

I would really love to finish that fic and perhaps one day once I’ve distanced myself for some time and feel good going back I will. I do know what happens and it gets bad before it gets better. Because your ask was so sweet if you want the breakdown/outline of what happens I’d be happy to answer that. Aside from that consider me on hiatus from the acotar fandom. (You can still send me asks about acotar or anything sjm. but as far as original content it’s gonna be a long time.)

#asks #anon #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #nessian #feysand #gwynriel #nesta archeron #cassian #feyre archeron #rhysand #gwyn berdara #emerie #mor #amren #azriel #becs talks #fandom wank #i just wanna vibe and have fun in a fandom #and there's times in this fandom where it seems impossible and it's become exhausting #to me its just not fun anymore

[the-lonelybarricade]

Hello! I have wanted to message you for a while but I kept getting nervous lol.

I just wanted to let you know that your writing has been an absolute blessing in my life. I’ve been going through an incredibly difficult time over the past few months, and I coincidentally started reading ACOTAR at the same time. (I’m late to the party, I know.) I came across your work in between reading ACOFAS and ACOFS, and I genuinely have not been able to stop since. (I had to force myself to finish ACOSF before I finished all of your works. Don’t get me wrong, I love the whole ACOTAR series but I was absolutely captivated by your writing and the way you continue to build the universe and characters!)

I greatly appreciate your words, stories, and overall contributions to the fandom. Seeing your posts and reading your stories has been a bright light amongst a dark time. Thank you for being you. ❤️

I'm really grateful that you did end up sending this to me because it means very much! 🥺💕

I am so sorry to hear that the last few months have been difficult for you. I also picked up ACOTAR during a difficult period in my life and I am immensely grateful that my work can offer some measure of comfort to you. I hope the world treats you kindly and provides you with whatever tools you need to continue your healing journey.

Sending you peace and love anon! I hope you're having a nice day and taking care of yourself ❤️ And thank YOU for taking the time out of your day to send this to me. It truly means the world 🥺

#lovely people being lovely

[strangecreationchaos]

re-reading acosf ,and found some new stuffs.

1. gwyn and azriel are never romantically inclined-

this is gwyn's first reaction when she saw azriel in the training session.her first meeting with azriel after azriel saved her-

gwyn hadn't returned a smile ! so she was uncomfortable around him in the beginning. when azriel keep coming to their training the girls started interacting and get comfortable eventually!he was her saviour, and his presence somehow made her uncomfortable! because it bring back old memories.

now lets see the pov of azriel that gets so much fuzz , her reaction to azriel's presence-

she was there to practice thinking she would be alone as everyone were busy for solistice! she wanted to practice alone ! AND EVERY TIME SHE SAW AZRIEL ALL SHE THINK ABOUT HER EXPERIENCE IN SANGRAVAH !

and she wished him happy solistice to which azriel take as a DISMISSAL!

her reaction hasn't changed since their first meeting to the solistice! he is a reminder of her worst memory even if she survived it and he saved her.and she still feels uncomfortable around him! and lets not forget her sister was killed right infront of her eyes that day.

about her connection with the shadows , she used to feel the shadows under the library and she and nesta once went to explore the bottom levels as well and when azriel's shadows are peering at her she smiled at THEM ! not at azriel! so may be she can understand the shadows or it has something to do with her power not with azriel!!!

After that azriel gave the chain to clotho to give it to gwyn but no body saw it on gwyn so probably gwyn never received the necklace!

now the training pit scene , lets focus how azriel and cassian are giving tough courses for them to complete and also mock them ( which is probably to encourage them more ) .she is the one who asked what they will get if they finish the course? to which azriel mocked that there is no prize as they will never win and gwyn took it as a challenge! and aimed to prove herself!

when she finally succeeded she went to az and show her hand as a taunt to receive the prize the illyrian warrior mocked that they will never receive!! to which azriel revealed that they already got the prize as it was a qualification test for the blood rite.

i don't know how many people will be able to notice it but gwyn is never comfortable around azriel becoz he reminds her of the worst memory that she survived. she survived yes but its still her worst memory! her sister was killed and she was r*ped. and everyone cassian and azriel gave them any challenge she work hard to prove that she is strong now ! especially to her saviour azriel! and if someone read nesta's comment to azriel being the new ribbon after reading gwyn's discomfort around him ,they will understand that its not a romantic statement rather its a student taking a challenge from her mentor and determine to prove herself.

( i would like add my opinion on her behaviour , when her sister get killed and she was assaulted she may have lost the hope that she will survive and after watching and going through all that she would have wished to die more because of the guilt that now she have in her heart because of her sister's death! may be she blames it on az for saving her ( just my opinion) either for being late ! because if they came a little early her sister could have survived ! or for saving her and now she left with all that guilt of her sister's death and the horrible memories she is blaming herself, if you read the part where she shared her feelings with nesta , she said she miss her sister and was guilty! what if she is guilty of her death and thats why she can't forgive az for saving her ! and by the time she is making herself stronger. and az notices and he is also trying to make her feel comfortable as he himself get the reminder of that incident everytime he see her!

there is not a single romantic inclination here and in case of azriel ,he is just being polite around her.

2. gwyn and emerie have a role to play as a valkarie in illyrian women ,and library priestess's life. but they are not a part of IC!

if you see gwyn and emerie are mostly associated with the valkarie training, they may ended up creating a new valkarie troop by adding the priesteses and illyrian women but they are no way Directly connected to IC. gwyn's power may have some short of significance with the timing of her prayer but it is still unknown.

3. azriel and elain are still the hot topic for the IC!

well when its comes to the IC az and elain's name are mostly associated and taken together or related with eachother for every family conversation. for example feyre's response to her pregnancy secret, he told az that elain will beat him in secret keeping, for nesta elain fight azriel's shadows are ready to strike , cassian noticing the change in azriel's behaviour, amren telling AZRIEL that elain is strong enough to find the trove,nesta thinking that elain learning stealth from az or from Nuala and cerridwen ,rhys asking az to stop panting over elain, nesta noticing azriel's discomfort from elucien bond, and mor avoiding the whole setuation and staying away ! every discussion of elain somehow gets connected to azriel! the whole IC knows and understands elriels equation.

4.the bigger obstruction for elriel is still mor and lucien!

rhys mentioning about mor to azriel even though mor never returned his feeling can have another reason and that is eris! what happened between mor and eris is still unknown. and now the IC is directly dealing with eris, in normal case cassian and az both used to be the buffer to protect mor, but as cassian is mated , mor has to deal with eris all alone if azriel left her side. and as she is always uncomfortable around eris , azriel is still needed as a buffer untill the conflict get solved.

and for elain her mating bond, even if she hasn't rejected it yet even after a whole year she is not comfortable around lucien and then there is a huge past of lucien to get unfold , along with his new found bonding with vassa.

The most prominent connection among these is still elriel! and everyone in the IC notices that and with elain agreeing to start searching for the trove and as nesta doesn't have her full power anymore, it will be elain to find the fourth dread trove and she being the one who was able to track the koschai and also able to see vassa, she not only have to find and defeat koschai but also have to save vassa from her curse.which is going to be the next story of the novel.

#pro elriel #elain archeron #elriel #azriel #elain x azriel #elain #acotar series #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #acosf #acotar fandom #gwyneth berdara #anti gw*nriel #gywn berdara #nesta x gwyn x emerie #pro azriel #pro elain

[icedflames]

Hello beautiful, can you list all the reasons why Elriel is not toxic and why it won’t be a toxic relationship. I’m tired of hearing people say that Elriel is toxic.

Alright, hang on... This is a long one. 

“Azriel just wants Elain for sex.”

False. Until ACOSF, we had no indication that Azriel had sexual feelings for Elain. Based on his thoughts in the bonus chapter, his actions throughout ACOSF, we can infer that Azriel has romantic feelings for Elain. His friend. 

The following scenes, read together, imply that Azriel has feelings for Elain beyond platonic or sexual feelings (I have only included my favorites for the sake of brevity):

ACOWAR

But Azriel asked softly, “What about Elain?” Something cold went through me. (Chp. 63)

From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.” (Chp. 64)

The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest. (Chp. 65)

She let out a sob at the sight of Elain, still in Azriel’s arms. (Chp. 65)

Cassian gawked at Azriel, and I wondered how often Azriel had lent out that blade— Never, Rhys said from where he finished buckling on his own weapons against the side of the wagon. I have never once seen Azriel let another person touch that knife. (Chp. 69)

ACOFAS

Azriel strode to the lone window at the end of the room and peered into the garden below. [...] “Azriel remained at the window. [...] Azriel said, turning from the garden window at last. (Chp. 16)

Az said nothing. No, he just moved toward her. Mor tensed beside me. But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, “Sit. I’ll take care of it.” (Chp. 12)

I made to move toward her, but someone beat me to it. The shadowsinger was clad in a black jacket and pants similar to Rhysand’s—the fabric immaculately tailored and built to fit his wings. He still wore his Siphons atop either hand, and shadows trailed his footsteps, curling like swirled embers, but there was little sign of the warrior otherwise. Especially as he gently said to my sister, “Happy Solstice.” (Chp. 19)

Azriel mastered himself enough to say, “Thank you.” I’d never seen his hazel eyes so bright, the hues of green amid the brown and gray like veins of emerald. “This will be invaluable.” (Chp. 20)

ACOSF

“Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?”

Cassian waved a hand. “A fight with Nesta. Don’t bring it up,” he warned when Azriel’s eyes darkened. Cassian blew out a breath. “I take that as a no regarding the meeting topic, then.” [...] Cassian surveyed the shadows gathered around Az. “You all right?” His brother nodded. “Fine.” But shadows still swarmed him. (Chp. 20)

Azriel stiffened. “I know. I helped rescue Elain, after all.” Az hadn’t so much as hesitated before going into the heart of Hybern’s war-camp.” (Chp. 22)

He was still happy to be Mor’s buffer with Azriel, but there’d been a change lately. In both of them. Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up. Cassian couldn’t think why. (Chp. 22)

“No. But we need to summon Lucien,” Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn’t like it one bit. (Chp. 31)

Elain just linked her arm through Nesta’s and led her toward the family room, where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it. (Chp. 58)

I also want to add... That the notion that Azriel only has sexual feelings is immediately disproven by a close reading of the bonus chapter:

Rhys bared his teeth. "So you will leave Elain alone. If you need to fuck  someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her." 

Azriel snarled softly.

Azriel snarled in response to Rhys’ suggestion that his feelings are only sexual. The entire scene was Rhys not understanding that Azriel actually had feelings for Elain. Rhys even suggested that Azriel still had feelings for Mor when Cassian had noted that Azriel no longer pined for Mor. 

To add, Azriel is not going antagonize Rhys and potentially kick off a feud between courts if he only wanted Elain for sex. 

ALSO!!!!

AZRIEL IS NOT GOING TO DECLARE HIS LOVE FOR ELAIN IN A BONUS CHAPTER. NO AUTHOR WILL EVER GIVE AWAY A MAJOR PLOT POINT/TWIST IN A BONUS CHAPTER. THAT WILL BE IMPORTANT AND WILL BE SAID IN THE NEXT BOOK!

Cassian never admitting his feelings for Nesta in Wings and Embers. Hell, Nesta kicked him in the balls. But we don’t doubt Nessian, now do we?

I answered another anon here comparing Wings and Embers to Azriel’s bonus chapter, comparing the themes and overall feel. 

“Azriel feels entitled to Elain as the third sister.”

False. Azriel began to show interest in Elain prior to Nesta and Cassian getting together. Please see the quotes above if you don’t believe me. Also, please see my post on the progression of their relationship here. 

Azriel is the first person to figure out what Elain’s powers were. He pulled her from her trance. Immediately after the seer reveal, we start to see Elain revert back to normal. 

Azriel is the one who defends Elain against scrying, a very dangerous thing in ACOTAR may I remind you, when she is not there to defend herself.

Azriel is the one who would sit with Elain outside in the gardens. 

Azriel lent Elain his most prized possession to keep her safe during the war. 

“Azriel coddles her.”

False. Azriel gave Elain truth teller to defend herself. I’d hardly call that coddling.

Let’s take a look at that scene that misguidedly causes people to think that Azriel “coddles” Elain.

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

“But Nesta should?” Cassian growled.

Is Cassian coddling Nesta? No. They both have the same reaction. 

The coddling Elain experiences is from the Inner Circle constantly thinking she’s meek and reduces her to a simple girl who likes to garden. 

“It doesn’t matter what I think. Go back to Feyre and your little garden.”

and then when Nesta refuses to let Elain scry for the trove:

“Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

Very different scenarios. It’s one thing to be protective (one of SJM’s  favorite trope for romantic love interests). It’s another to belittle a person and then not let them grow. That is what Elain is referring to. That is the coddling she cannot stand. 

“Azriel is too messed up mentally to be with anybody.”

False. This is demonstrably false. It is fanon. When this argument is used, it’s used to discredit Elain as a love interest and prop Gwyn up. If Azriel is too messed up to be with Elain, he’s too messed up to be with anybody. Period.

Nesta parallels Azriel in a lot of ways. And everybody loves Nesta and Cassian’s relationship now. Azriel does not have any of the mental illnesses the WebMD doctors come up with every other day. At the most, he has issues with his self worth and possible depression. At the most. 

Saying that a character cannot be in a romantic relationship due to his mental health directly implies that individuals who are suffering with mental health issues cannot get into romantic relationships. That’s wrong and that’s mean.

In Conclusion

Elain and Azriel went from being strangers, to friends, to now possible lovers in a span of two years. 

Their relationship is the most realistic one SJM has written. Nothing about them is toxic. They are kind and considerate of one another. Their feelings have slowly progressed and there are barriers to their relationship (namely, Elain’s mating bond to Lucien). 

There is a difference between not liking Elain and Azriel together (an opinion) and saying Elain and Azriel are toxic together (a falsehood). 

#asks #elriel #pro elriel #elain #azriel #mine

[emilia3546]

Shadowsinger Part 37 - Gwynriel

ACOSF Spoilers! Do Not read this unless you have finished ACOSF and the Azriel bonus chapter*

Masterlist with all previous chapters

*****

Everything hurt.

There was nothing but darkness and pain.

Pain radiated from his back, his wings, lancing up and down his spine in an endless torrent of fire in his flesh, burning with each too-shallow breath. Vaguely, he became aware that he was lying on his front, his wings resting on some support beside him. He couldn't figure out where he was, the last thing he remembered was seeing Gwyn across the battlefield, devastation and determination marring her beautiful face. She'd tried to reach him. She'd been too slow, someone had tried to kill him, perhaps they had succeeded and this was the next world.

I never dared to dream that it could be you. I love you.

There was only one thing that she'd meant then, and he'd never dared to dream, but what did it matter now? He was dead or dying, he hoped she was wrong, if only so that she could find her mate and have a long future with them, because if she was right, if it was him, she'd lost that future.

I love you, Azriel.

As long as she was safe, he didn't care about anything else, and he welcomed the fading of the pain, the warmth starting to seep into his muscles, the way his body felt disconnected, like he wasn't in control of it anymore. He didn't have to do anything, not anymore, he could just rest. Some instinct told him there was a sound, he didn't care, he didn't want to hear it, he just wanted to sleep, for everything to go away. The instinct didn't shut down, it only ramped up, and a distant part of his mind, the only part still connected to his body screamed at him to listen. There was something there, a touch, his hand, something was touching it, no, someone was holding his hand, and it felt right. He wanted to feel it, to go back to his body, but he couldn't, there was something stopping him. He clawed desperately at the invisible blockade, but to no avail, nothing worked, nothing until,

"Azriel." That was his name, and the voice, feminine, light, it was like a mountain breeze, but it was pained, the female who spoke was in pain, but it was more than that. She was, her voice at least, was full of anguish, and, and it was hoarse, as if she'd been screaming. She had, he remembered her voice, she had been screaming, she'd been screaming his name, because she cared for him, she loved him. There'd been a battle, yes, that was why he'd been hurting, he'd been injured, badly, and this female, she'd saved him, she'd been too late. If he could just remember her name.

Azriel's eyes snapped open,

"Gwyn," he breathed, his eyes open but unseeing, not able to register the sudden influx of light.

*****

He'd been unconscious when she woke an hour ago, and too still, far too still, if an instinct hadn't told her that he still breathed she would have feared him lost. Apparently, it had been 5 days since the battle, she'd slept the whole time, out of reach of even Feyre and Rhys, though she knew they'd tried, she knew that Rhys had sat beside her for hours at a time, desperately trying to reach, to even find, her mind, to make sure that she would still be herself when she awoke. Nesta had said that he'd only left each time when he had no other choice and he couldn't have someone else attend to whatever task needed doing, but that he'd returned every time.

The respect in her sister's tone shouldn't have surprised her, she knew that, despite herself, Nesta did care for him, but when he'd returned shortly after Gwyn had woken, Nesta had truly surprised her. Brother. That was what she'd called Rhys, and maybe it was her frayed nerves, but Gwyn hadn't been able to stop the tears, the tears that weren't just for her friends, but for the male lying on the brink of death beside her, for everyone who'd been killed in the battle, for Nesta, knowing that her blast of power could have saved Azriel, for Cassian, knowing that Nesta had chosen to save him, not consciously perhaps, but she'd reacted, and hadn't had anything left to do the same for Azriel. But yes, she cried for herself too, because gods it hurt. It hurt so much. Her ribs ached viciously, as did her back, but more than that, it was like a piece of her was empty that had never been before, it made moving, thinking, breathing difficult. She'd overdone it with the magic, she hadn't realized she could do any of that, but how could she not? Her mate had been bleeding out into the mud, and she had refused to see him die. The tears were for him, for the pain that she'd been unable to stop, and for the fear that she would lose him anyway, the grief for what could be, because if she lost him, no, she couldn't start down that path, if she started, she'd never return.

Nesta had held her hand as she cried, murmuring comforts, but never once trying to make her stop, she knew, she knew what it was like, she knew that sometimes, crying was necessary, and right now it was what Gwyn needed. But she did stop, after what had felt like an eternity, she did stop, and Nesta had started to explain what had happened, but faltered at the point of how Gwyn was still breathing,

"Feyre, she did something, I don't, I don't understand what," she glanced beside her to where Rhys had silently sat beside her, his presence calming in itself, some order in the chaos,

"She gave you her strength, just enough to stop you from burning out your life force, and before you ask, she doesn't how, she just responded, and thank the Mother she did." Gwyn forced herself to smile, but it died the moment her gaze fell upon the corner of the room, the darkness, the shadows. "They never left," Rhys told her, "They stayed with you both, I think they kept him alive, when we reached you they were holding the wounds closed as much as they could, and trying to keep air moving in and out of your lungs." Tears threatened again, but Gwyn blinked them away, turning to Azriel, so still, he was still so still.

Her heart thumped, something was wrong. She didn't know what, but something was wrong with Azriel.

"Azzy," she managed, "Is he okay?" Nesta met her panicked gaze, "Something's wrong! Please, Rhys, is he okay?" The tangy taste of fear filled her mouth and she reached for him, calling his name over and over while Rhys called for Madja, they were in Velaris. She reached out again, and Nesta guided her hand to his, she clung to him for dear life, clung to him for that sake of his life. "Azriel."

Azriel's eyes snapped open,

"Gwyn," he breathed.

Gwyn let out a sob of relief, squeezing his hand all the harder for the fear that she'd lost him. She tried to sit up, to go to him, but her chest tightened and pain filled her mind, shorting out everything else, until she lay back down,

"Steady," Nesta murmured, but handed her a tiny bottle, "Pain relief, it won't last long, but,"

"Thank you," Gwyn managed, her voice still sounding strained, even to her own ears. She didn't let go of Azriel's hand, not until she'd drained the bottle and its effects had taken hold, not until she was kneeling on the floor by his head, cupping his face with both hands, his breath mingling with hers.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered, hardly registering the almost-silent click of the door as Nesta and Rhys slipped out of the room. Azriel had been blinking in the light, but recognition flickered in his eyes at her words, and he reached up, wincing with the movement, but through the pain, he smiled as he gripped the back of her neck,

"Are you hurt?" He whispered, barely audible,

"Not like you were,"

"Who hurt you?" Even on the brink of death, the promise of blood-soaked violence edged his words,

"A dead male," Gwyn assured him, "I'm okay, it's not me everyone's worried about," a tear slipped down her face, "You were dead, you, you weren't breathing," Azriel brushed away the tear, and the others following it, "Your heart stopped, Azzy, I, I was so scared, I thought you were gone, and just now, you were dying, you were,"

"I was. I heard you, and I couldn't go, not even when it was so peaceful, I couldn't leave you, I won't, ever, you understand?" Gwyn nodded silently, her throat constricting so that she couldn't force any words out, but she didn't need any. She pressed her brow to his, breathing in his scent, basking in the feel of his skin against hers. With each breath of air, her body relaxed, the essence of him surrounding her, home, she was home, and she was finally safe.

"What happens now?" She whispered,

"Now? Now we get back on our feet and we keep fighting, because we have our people to protect."

"Not that," despite herself, Gwyn felt herself laugh, the sound hoarse, painful, but Azriel smiled as if he'd never heard a sound so beautiful, "I felt the bond, the mating bond, right before you fell," she pressed a hand to her chest, then pressed his against that spot, "Right here, I felt it, binding me to you, a call that I couldn't ignore, even if I'd wanted to. It gave me the strength I needed." Azriel closed his eyes,

"Are you sure?"

"One hundred percent, close your eyes," Azriel did as he was told, "Now breathe in, and out, slowly," again, Azriel did she she ordered, the tension in his sore muscles easing with each breath, "Now think about me, remember when you told me you loved me, and that time I kicked your ass with a pillow?"

"As I recall, it was not me whose ass was kicked,"

"Lies," she chuckled, "You surrendered,"

"I did," he grinned, and the bond in her chest, glowing beneath where his hand still rested pulled taut, "Gwyn," Azriel breathed,

"You feel it?"

"I do, Cauldron, I," when he opened his eyes, they shone bright with tears, "I love you, I will spend the rest of my life working to be worthy of you, I swear,"

"You were worthy of me the moment you had the courage to snap at that lord's son when you were a kid, regardless of the consequences, every time you fight for what is right, to protect those who cannot protect themselves, you prove yourself worthy of me. I love you, Azriel."

"You want this? You want me as your mate?"

"I have never wanted anything more," she admitted, "But, I, I don't know what to do, I know when the bond is accepted, well, Nesta told me about what happens next,"

"You mean the sex?" Gwyn faltered as heat flooded her face,

"Yes, I don't know, I don't think I can do that yet, not that kind of mad, I don't know,"

"Frenzy?" Gwyn flushed again, and Azriel grinned, "You're so beautiful, we can wait as long as you like to officially accept it, and I can control myself if you want to accept it, but not do that,"

"That's not it, I think I will want to, but not yet, I want to just try things slowly, and maybe later, when we have time, maybe then we can do the whole 'accepting the bond thing' and everything that comes with it, it doesn't matter though. You are my mate, and I do accept the bond, whether we do any official ceremony or not, it's always you, and it always will be."

"Marry me."

"What?"

"Marry me. I don't care about how long you need to wait to officially accept the bond, if you ever feel ready to, but I want the world to know, I want to shout from the rooftops, 'Gwyneth Berdara is my wife'. Marry me?"

"You want the world to know? That you're mine, forever?"

"I've been yours for longer than I realized myself, and I will always be yours, and you will be mine, until there is nothing left of any world but dust on the breeze," Gwyn chuckled to herself,

"Yes." She whispered, "Yes, Azriel, I will marry you." Azriel cupped her cheek, seeming to have forgotten the pain he must still be in as he guided her face towards his, pressing a kiss to her lips, chaste, barely-there, but it was a promise, a promise of a future, a future that she was never letting go of. She rested her brow against his for a moment before her strength failed and she was forced to lean against the bed, still clutching his hand as she drifted into nothingness, Azriel right beside her. She was to marry her mate, the male she loved. She was to marry Azriel. She couldn't wait any longer, he was to become her husband, and she'd never wanted anything more desperately.

tags: @teagoddess99 @brenda5601 @azrielsdarling13 @1helena @shisingh @valkygwyn  @soffiiione @toolazymyguy @awesomelena555 @trashforazriel @dealingdifferentdevils @ximena-inlovewithazwyn @almosttenaciousmoon @aightimmaheadoutsblog @alexoik @selfdestructionfetish @cozycomfyliving08 @sv0430 @jojooj3 @sayosdreams

#fanfiction #fanfic #acotar #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #Gwyn #Gwyn acosf #gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #gwyn x azriel #azriel x gwyn #Azriel #Azwyn #azriel shadowsinger

[bittermuire]

A (long) analysis of Azriel,

+ a bit of discussion about Gwynriel vs. Elriel at the end.

Lately I’ve seen much discussion surrounding Azriel, and there seems to be a lot of hazy gray area. We know he has a terrible past, carries a lot of trauma, is both mentally and physically scarred, and has disturbingly possessive habits. But why? That’s the question.

I think most of Azriel’s character can be filtered into three sections: his anger, his possessiveness, and his self-loathing. Altogether I believe these form his crippling sense of emotional immaturity, which ultimately shines through most every action he makes in the books.

So yes, I firmly believe Az is a child in the body of a 500 year old Fae. But is he treated as such? No. No, he is not. In fact, he’s treated as the exact opposite, and that can’t be doing wonders for his mental health (which is already in shambles. Off to a cheery start.)

Let’s take a look at his past. He was both mentally and physically abused for the majority of his childhood. Then he was thrown into an unforgiving culture that both mentally and physically abused him as well. Then he was essentially bullied by Cassian and Rhysand for quite a while... until they randomly decided to like him, which is a choice he didn’t seem to play a hand in. And then he became a professional torturer. All the while falling madly in love and becoming obsessed with a female who can’t love him back. Not to mention he’s been ostracized his entire life.

(One big thing though, that I’m going to reference frequently, is Azriel’s constant chase of “happiness.” Kind of like my friends with ADHD. We squeeze all the serotonin we can get out of one thing and then fall into a listless, depressed haze until we find another. I honestly think Azriel does the same thing with people--he latches onto them and lets his mood swings rely on how much attention they do or do not pay him, and whether it is positive or negative.)

So I’m going to go through his relationships with pivotal characters and try to explain what I think is really going on with Azriel.

Regarding Mor:

He was obsessed with her for most of his life. He was incredibly possessive of her and fell instantly in love upon seeing her. Do I think it was love? No. But does Azriel think it was love? Yes, and that is so important. It shows how desperate he was for human connection.

This “love” spiraled into centuries-long obsession that we’ve all seen play out throughout the series. But why is it obsession, and not love? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say that Azriel doesn’t know how to love. He’s never been shown genuine love and so he doesn’t know how to show it to others in the way he intends. He’s basically a baby.

But right after he falls head over heels, Mor sleeps with Cassian, and then Cassian plays the role of the buffer between the two of them all the way up until the events of ACOSF. This is where I think Azriel’s anger comes into play. He can’t get to Mor. His best friend, his brother, is blocking him from her. He can’t touch her, love her, feel her, and he’s so desperate to. But he literally has no way to communicate it because he doesn’t know how, and so he responds in the one way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. And intense protectiveness that eventually begins to translate as possessiveness.

Again, he lets his happiness rely on Mor because he can’t make himself happy, and so his lack of emotional maturity ends up revealing him as desperate and unable to communicate his feelings of inadequacy and frustration. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, not at all. But I think this could be a decent explanation.

Regarding Cassian and Rhysand:

I mean... I kind of hate the way these two have treated Azriel. They all have their fair share of trauma, but Cassian and Rhys also bullied him and ostracized him, and then basically said, “Oh, we like you now.” Which completely leaves Azriel in the dark as to where he stands with them, and strips him of awareness regarding how his friendships with them will operate.

And then he becomes the head of espionage for the Night Court, which involves lots and lots of torture. What kind of message does that send? You’ve seen dirty things, Az, so you don’t mind doing the rest of the dirty things for us, right? That’s the only real message I can get from this. Which then plants the message in Azriel’s head of: Not only do I do dirty things, I myself am a dirty, disgusting thing. Thus, furthering his already deep-seated sense of self-loathing.

Plus, the IC generally operates with a pack-like mindset. One person’s method of healing is everyone’s method of healing. It worked for one person, so it worked for everyone. It’s a very naive mindset, and very toxic as well, so it’s not surprising that literally everyone in the IC is colossally messed up despite preaching themselves as having overcome their demons.

So Azriel never really gets to understand himself and mature as a person. He’s stuck pretending to be perfectly fine underneath Rhysand’s oh-so-benevolent and compassionate hand. Rhysand and Cassian recognize Az as being a little... odd, by seeming to think things like “he’s the quiet one” and “he’s the serious, scary one.” But do they attempt to understand him? No. They leave him to his own devices and let him figure it out himself.

That’s the issue. He’s not ever going to figure it out himself, so long as he’s surrounded by the people who’ve been unwittingly suffocating him for most of his life.

Regarding Elain:

Azriel’s infatuation with Elain, in my opinion, comes as a direct result of his detachment from Mor. Just like one hyperfixation fades quickly from an all-consuming thing to a passing thought, Azriel has shifted from one obsession to the next, in order to keep his spirits on a high.

But I think his feelings for Elain reveal a lot of what Mor did not. Why does he view Elain as so holy compared to him? Why is he so hesitant to touch her? Why does he put her on such a pedestal? That’s his self-loathing coming through again. He hates himself so much that he has to place her above him.

He wants to touch her and love her, just as he did with Mor, but again he is unable. It's a repeating pattern that he can’t get himself out of.

Let’s also look at the way Elain and Azriel’s friendship/relationship began. He had to take care of her, and treat her with utmost respect. She looked at his scars or his siphons, both monstrous looking things, and called them beautiful. Let’s remember that he’s basically a child who’s rarely known genuine love. The minute he gets a glimpse of it, he’s going to grab it by the neck and crush it to his chest. Plus, the fact that she’s the last sister left unattached and he’s the last brother left unattached is probably even more convincing for him that he and Elain are meant for each other. When he’s denied this love that’s come nearly close enough to grab, he responds in the only way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. Just like he did with Mor.

But moving on, that glimpse of potential love comes from Elain. That’s why he’s able to let go of Mor; a relationship with Elain suddenly becomes possible. He’s terrified of ruining this potential love and is incredibly drawn to her all the same. Best of all? She wants him too.

BUT. Azriel knows how fragile Elain is, so he walks on glass around her, coddling her, putting her first like he’s put everyone else first since being a part of the IC. I think he wants to save her from becoming like him. He essentially plays the role of her white knight, entirely losing his sense of self-preservation (not that he ever had one), and thus loses any chance of letting Elain help him mature in return.

Regarding Gwyn:

Now, Gwyn is a different story.

We know Azriel likes her. Maybe not in a consciously romantic way, but he likes her. She makes him smile and laugh, and he finds her amusing. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around her.

The big thing, I think, is that he doesn’t have to take care of her. At least, I think that’s what makes him so comfortable around her. With Gwyn, he can relax, and he doesn’t have to watch every move he makes. She treats him like a regular person and he treats her similarly.

Now, is it a bad thing that he doesn’t put her on a saint-like pedestal like he does Elain? No. Definitely not. I think this ordinary friendship signals a much healthier relationship than his festering obsession with Elain. Gwyn simply being his friend and not someone that he feels he has to be perfect for is a good foundation for Azriel growing as a person.

Gwynriel vs. Elriel (the necklace):

Honestly, I’m scared for whatever SJM decides to do, because Azriel has a shitload of trauma to move past and years worth of emotional growth needed before he can be a steady partner in a relationship. Both Gwyn and Elain’s character arcs are definitely not finished and so I think that no matter which way his narrative goes, it’s going to be disappointing in some aspect or another, unfortunately. I don’t think that either one of the females’ arcs really fit well with Azriel’s.

But I’m going to take a closer look at the necklace, because I think it’s a telling narrative point.

For Azriel, the necklace for Elain and Gwyn herself, are both “thing[s] of secret, lovely beauty” to him.

By describing the necklace for Elain as such (instead of Elain herself), Azriel unconsciously reveals his more idealistic view of Elain rather than his love for Elain herself. I kind of get the sense of Azriel giving offerings to a goddess, or something like that. He seems to be more preoccupied with appeasing Elain than actually loving her.

Now, this probably comes from, again, his self-loathing and his emotional immaturity. I’m just repeating myself at this point. He doesn’t know how to love himself and he doesn’t know how to love anyone else.

But then he describes Gwyn as such. Gwyn, the person. In my opinion, this demonstrates a potentially much healthier relationship than what he has with Elain. Azriel, instead of wanting to be perfect for Gwyn and wanting to appease her, is simply made happy by the thought of her. It is Gwyn whom he is taken with, not the idea of Gwyn loving him. And so that takes off so much pressure for him, and introduces the hope that he might be able to mature as a person in a friendship or romantic relationship with Gwyn.

Closing thoughts:

Azriel is a blundering, hormonal child desperate for love with no idea of how to get it, in a 500 year old Fae’s body. He’s also surrounded by people who refuse to address his clear issues... his future’s pretty dim, and I think he realizes it. Which is why whoever SJM chooses to be his romantic interest is going to be very important.

In short, I’m scared for what’s to come. But fingers crossed that his incredibly complex character is done justice.

#azriel #acotar #character analysis #gwynriel #kind of anti elriel #but open to interpretation

[mardereads19]

A Comparrison between Az’s Chapter and Cassian’s Chapters in Acofas

Today I found myself inspired by @thereaderspeaks ‘s post and what I had to add about it, to write this long-ass post comparing Az’s chapter in Acosf to Cassian’s three chapters in Acofas.

@rhyssescups does an amazing job in this post (and @psychee92 in this one) of comparing Az’s chapter to Cassian’s POV in Wings and Embers. I’ll also attach @psychee92 ‘s comparison of both batboys’ attitudes after their respective solstices. But I’m going to concentrate on Az’s POV and Acofas rather than Wings and Embers.

There are a LOT of things in common, so when you add the posts linked above to this one, you’ll see how Azriel’s emotions and his interaction with Gwyn mirror those of Cassian. Everyday I find more peace of mind regarding Elriel.

Before I begin, I want to clarify that Emerie is not in Wings and Embers, but on Cassian’s perspective in Acofas. I had seen many people on Tumblr and on Twitter saying (by mistake) that she’s in W&E, so I wanted to point that out. It is Mor who is mentioned in W&E. How Cassian does not want to tell her about Nesta, etc. For more on that, check out the links I attached above.

There are many elements that Cassian and Azriel share in their chapters and I decided to divide them into categories. I’ll support them with quotes so that we have the receipts. With that said…

Let’s get started!

1. Distance

In both instances there was something that separated the couples and caused distance. 

In Cassian’s case it was post-war-Nesta and even Cassian himself (it was pride that kept him ignoring her all through the party until he couldn’t take it anymore and ran after her, simple as that): 

In Azriel’s case it was his understanding of what he feels for Elain and the fact that she has a mate. But also, let’s add Rhys’s order as a new element that will cause distance.

2. Emotions

Cassian did not allow himself to think about Nesta because of the feelings that stirred up in him.

Anger, passion, confusion.

And Azriel… 

Well, well, well... What do we have here? 

Anger, passion, confusion. 

He was ready to spar it out of his system, too, like Cassian.

3. Something the batboys associate with their mate Archeron sister

I noticed that in both cases, Cass and Az had given their girls something that they associated with them, be it material or other.

For example, Cassian’s was names for Nesta’s poses.

He saw Nesta stand in any particular way and if it was something she repeated he gave that pose a name. It is something he associates with her.

In Azriel’s case, we know he gives Elain a rose necklace. 

Roses signify Elain because of what she does: gardening; But also, it could simply represent them. Their way of spending time together (here’s a post of different refences of Elriel in the garden by @silver-flames​) and their relationship that has been slowly blooming in secret, like how that charm shines with colors when it’s in the light, but looks ordinary in the dark.

4. The batboys hurting the sisters

In both POVs the Illyrians hurt the Archerons. 

Cassian does it out of anger. Because Nesta kept rejecting him. Instead of holding his tongue, like any mature person should, he tells her something that destroys her (we know by her reaction).

See how her eyes go empty? 

Well, in his chapter, Azriel hurts Elain, too, though it pains him as much as it pains her because he did not do it intentionally. 

5. The sisters rejecting/returning the gifts

Nesta rejects Cassian’s gift, though I wouldn’t have taken it either after what he told her. This quote comes from before his insult, but my point is that she left without taking the gift.

Also, notice how Cassian hadn’t wanted to give Nesta her present in front of the others, something that Azriel does, too, though for different reasons. Cassian had feared rejection and had been waiting for her to approach him.

Azriel had not given Elain her present because Lucien, her mate, was there.

And of course, Elain returns her gift after Azriel left her standing in the hall with the words “this was a mistake.” I wouldn’t have stayed with that necklace either, not when it reminded me of that moment.

6. Regifting/Comparing

Something particular that happens in both characters’ PoV is the regifting of the objects the batboys used to relate to their girls. I do not think they are necessarily wrong, just that it happens.

Cassian uses the name of one of Nesta’s poses to describe Emerie.

He also compares her way of speaking and the look in her eyes to that of Nesta.

Azriel regifts the necklace that represents Elain to Gwyn (though he doesn’t give it to her personally, just hands it to Clotho for her to do it), and describes her with the same quote he used on the necklace (Elriel). 

I have my own theory on why the thought of her smile makes him smile. Soon I will explain.

7. Getting rid of the gifts (decisions made in haste)

Cassian being all impulsive and throwing the very expensive and extremely unique gift to the Sidra:

Gotta love our hotheaded overgrown bat. (My baby!! <3)

Then, we have Az making the dumb decision of regifting the present because somehow he couldn’t get rid of it (symbolism but not the post for it).

He was in a bad place when he made the decision, and even Clotho points out that his eyes are sad. 

The quote in purple is important to note. The theory about Clotho not giving Gwyn the necklace? That line is good for it. The fact that he told Clotho to give the necklace to anyone as long as he didn’t have it and the sadness she gleaned in his eyes is enough for her to know there is more to it than what he tells her.  

I also want to point out that we know for a fact that Cassian regretted getting rid of the present and that he knows he had been foolish that night. So, considering how parallel to each other these chapters are, I’m sure that Azriel will, too.

8. Distraction/Consolation (Aftermath)

I think it is important to highlight how Cassian got to the Townhouse late and was followed by a worried Mor, who most likely consoled him after his disastrous evening with Nesta...

...and compare it to how Azriel had needed to release unspent energy and was successfully distracted from his bad juju by the short lesson he gave to Gwyn:

He straight up says he’s thankful for the distraction. That was what the whole convo had been for him -in a good sense. 

It also aligns super well with @silverlinedeyes​ ‘s theory of Gwyn being a lightsinger in how they appear to people when they are lost. Gwyn was there when Azriel needed someone (even just to distract him), be it coincidence or not, and that cannot be ignored. 

If Gwyn does take on a role in Acotar 5, I think it will have a lot to do with being his friend and confidant (and trainee), someone who will help him figure out what to do about his situation, just like how she unknowingly helped him on solstice.

9. Empathy towards the Valkyries

Another parallel that I found in the chapter is how Cassian felt empathy for Emerie’s situation upon looking at her...

...and how Azriel’s interaction with Gwyn brought about the same reaction:

This is what I was talking about earlier. Notice how he sees her pain and grief and prefers when she’s happy to when she’s sad? Who wouldn’t want that? That is the same mentality I apply to his smile at the thought of her smiling. That he is glad that something would make her happy after what she has been through. Especially after remembering her past (within the last three pages). 

10. Emerie and Gwyn’s attitudes

This was super curious for me! Look at how both girls say goodbye to the batboys:

Emerie being a whole independent female, and Gwyn… 

All business. 

Literally got the same energy from them. 

Gwyn finished the convo and continued her practice like the badass warrior that she is. There was no demure glance or cloy blush anywhere. The interaction was not romantic, purely platonic. Just like Emerie’s with Cassian.

11. This interesting parallel:

These two moments that are almost identical:

Cassian tells Emerie to give the Illyrians the clothes he just bought and to tell them it was the High Lord’s gift. He does it because he knows the Illyrians would not accept them if they knew they came from Cassian.

Azriel:

Another one (DJ khaled voice). 

“Just tell her it was a gift from Rhys.” 

Why does he do that? Because it wasn’t romantic and if Gwyn had known she’d have brought it up in conversation. He just wanted to be rid of it, so he gave it to her, perhaps as a way of thanking her for the distraction yesterday, but nothing more. 

“If there’s another priestess here who might appreciate it, give it to them.” He didn’t care who’d have it as long as it wasn’t him. 

Conclusion: 

(Wings and Embers + Acofas) Cassian = Acosf bonus chapter Azriel

That’s the real formula bestie SJM used and the receipts are here. 

Azriel mirrors Cassian in emotions, actions and interactions. 

Remember how Nesta Antis began shipping Cass with Emerie after their interaction in Acofas simply because they hated Nesta? Their scene had zero romantic energy, but Nesta Antis still did it. 

Well, history repeats itself with Elain.

Regarding Gwyn: So far, I see no build-up to something more than a friendship. Like we explored, Az’s scene with her was similar to Cassian’s with Emerie. The differences lie in that Gwyn is more energetic than Emerie and that Az’s shadows reacted to her power (she has powers, read about it in the lighsinger theory). 

There is literally nothing more I can add. 

Peace out.

#elriel discussion #elriel endgame #elriel #elain #azriel #elain x azriel #acotar #acotar 5 #acosf #acosf spoilers #azriel bonus chapter #wings and embers #acofas #sarah j maas

[acourtofthought]

Heyyy 👋🏼 I saw your latest post about about Elriels becoming Eluciens and Gwynriels and wanted to add my two cents.

I shipped Elriel until ACOFAS (even followed quite some blogs on here). But it changed when reading ACOSF. I started Elucien back then so, so much. Gwynriel makes the most sense to me (I started loving the idea of Azriel ending up with Eris lately so that’s why I am not the biggest Gwynriel shipper anymore).

But what I am trying to say is that it makes so much sense to ship Elriel at the beginning of the series, but when you get to the end of the serie Gwynriel.

A lot of things were pointing towards Elriel mid-series and Gwyn wasn’t simply there for four books. The futures of the characters all started to fall in place with ACOSF (at least that is my opinion). There were so many hints towards certain couples, I believe…👀

Honestly, I really don’t care if Gwyn and Azriel will be a couple in the next book, for me they can stay friends as well. I will still love Azriel. I will still love Gwyn. I never loved Gwyn’s character because of the prospect of her ending up with Azriel. I loved her character because of her character and that won‘t change whether she ends up woth Az or not.

And the same with Lucien. And Elain. If Elriel happens I will still love Elain and Lucien.

Just because a ship maybe won’t happen I won’t stop loving characters or the next book.

I hope everything was understandable, it is really late and my mother tongue is not English.

Thank you for always sharing your thoughts and opinions!! I love your blog. Have a good day/night💛🌼

Everything you said was perfectly written! And I love that you sent it because it's further confirmation that as the books change and the characters evolve, the readers are allowed to experience that too.

It's so easy to overlook details in the book the first few times we read it. We sort of take it all at face value without thinking deeply on what's being said. But then we come to a place where there are discussions about the book, people that draw your attention to things you never considered and it's very eye opening. And I completely agree. We're now starting to close in on the future of certain characters because there are (at this point) only two books left. The will they / won't they of Az / Gwyn / Elain / Lucien / Vassa / Jurian can begin to settle in place because now we don't have to finish Feyre's story or get through Nesta's while still keeping the endgame of others a mystery.

I am so glad you are someone who supports all the characters regardless of who they end up with! I think it reflects in your observations because you're not trying to force arguments to go a certain way just so your ship can come out on top, it's a well thought out unbiased opinion.

Thank you for your message, you bring so much happiness to the fandom and I was excited to see your name pop up ❤️

[bookofmirth]

sorry for popping into the asks like this, I’m kinda late to the sh!tshow (been busy thinking about our new fave hosab ship *cringe wink emoji*) soo

wtf is going on with cc3 and acotar5 being swapped? I mean, I’m fine with it (as if anyone cared about my opinion, but ✨entitled✨ people are getting kinda angry from what I gathered)—so I just wanted to know what’s the source of that info? did SJM confirm it or anything? I’ve been trying to trace it to no avail

again sorry to bother ✌🏻

In the tour event that she did last week, the last question she was asked was what she is working on now. She said that she is currently writing CC3 (or more accurately, she was writing it when the interview was recorded, but she is now on maternity leave) and that she is working on "the next" acotar book when she gets "bolts of inspiration".

We've never gotten confirmation that she was either writing acotar5, or has finished it. That has people raising eyebrows. It would be a pretty dang quick turnaround for her to have written acotar5 last year, considering the other things she was doing (editing hosab, writing the acotar pilot, moving, being pregnant). I think it's totally possible she could have written acotar5 already because last spring she said she was ready to jump into it and had it all planned out in her head already. And she tends to be a very fast writer.

But... that event just had everyone spinning like "why are you working on CC3, where is acotar5?"

I'm just hoping that when the paperback of acosf comes out, we get some more news. Please Bloomsbury gods, just tell us because this is all very confusing! She absolutely deserves a break and I would much rather wait for a good book than be disappointed by a quickly-written-but-shitty book. But that doesn't mean they can't tell us about publication order and stuff!

#sarah j maas #acotar5 #cc3 #ask #azrielsgirl

[readiajin]

To Love Herself - Chapter 1: Appear

Synopsis: Following ACOSF until Nesta’s confrontation with Amren. Rather than going to hike and soul search with Cassian in the wild, Nesta uses her powers to disappear.

Hey! So I am going to write this fic. I have never posted anything I have written before so please let me know what you think or if you have any advice. Also let me know if you want to be tagged.

Prologue: Disappear

Chapter 1: Appear

Do you plan on coming home soon Feyre darling? 

Feyre sent a huff of a laugh back at Rhys. Why? Does somebody miss me? 

Two somebodies actually, Rhys replied. Nyx wants to show you how he has improved his flying with Uncle Azriel today. 

Feyre smiled at the image of her son jumping off couches to fly around the room played in her mind. She currently sat in her studio, working on a painting of Nyx flying with his father. She planned on saving it for his eighth birthday present in a couple months.

Feyre glanced out the window, where the streets were only illuminated by starlight on the moonless night. She hadn’t realized how late it had become.

I’ll be home soon, I just have to clean up. 

Don’t keep me waiting too long, Rhys rumbled back. A shiver went down Feyre’s spine as she cut off the connection with her mate to concentrate on cleaning. 

She walked around the room, turning off most of the lights before going to the back to wash her brushes and pallet. As she stood at the sink, she suddenly felt a cold breeze at the back of her neck. 

Feyre froze. She raised her head to look at the paint-splattered mirror above the sinks. Through the smudged glass, she could see a dark cloaked figure standing behind her. 

Slowly, Feyre turned. “Who are you?” She demanded. “It’s not wise to sneak up on a High Lady.”

The figure stood perfectly still. As they stared at each other the temperature in the room seemed to drop. Finally, the figure tilted their head to the side slightly. “Well? What do you want?” 

An indignant huff came from beneath the cloak before reaching up to pull back the hood. 

Feyre’s mind went blank as she took in her sister, whom she hadn’t seen or heard from in over 8 years. 

“Hello Feyre.” That was all Nesta said. 

Feyre stared at her older sister. Not a day had gone by since that terrible day in Amren’s apartment that Feyre hadn’t thought of Nesta. Not a day she hadn’t wondered, worried. They had searched for her. Had even reached out to the other courts when they became desperate for answers. But there had been no trace of her since Cassian had seen her consumed by silver flames. 

Now standing before her, the first thing Feyre noticed was how healthy she looked. Nesta had slowly begun to look better after living in the House and training with Cassian for a few weeks. She had been gaining a little weight and some color back then. 

But stepping into the light cast from lanterns on the back counter, Nesta seemed to glow with health. Her hair was braided in its classic crown, but her face was full and tanned from being in the sun. Her eyes still held the same stormy intensity they always had, but the haunted look she had had was now replaced with a silver gleam. 

Although most of her body was covered in a dark cloak, Feyre could see she was wearing fighting leathers— not Illyarian leathers. And peaking out over her right shoulder was the pommel of a great sword. The Great Sword, the one she had accidentally Made. The sword that, along with the two other Made weapons, had been stolen from where they had been locked in the river house. The same night several priestesses disappeared from the Library as well.

That had been nearly a year after Nesta. They had all suspected Neata, as later it was found that the last time Emerie had been seen in Windhaven was that day. But they had never been sure. All that was left of the priestesses was a note to Clotho not to worry, that they had left by choice. 

“Nyx is growing up fast."

Nesta was still staring back at Feyre, but as she continued to blink at Nesta, Nesta nodded towards the painting on the easel. Her face was impassive as she said “He looks like he is a handful.” 

Nesta’s words caused Feyre to snap her mouth shut, which had been hanging open. “What? Nesta… where…how...why...” Silence filled the room as Feyre trailed off. Nesta continued to stand with that preternatural Fae stillness, but she seemed to be considering Feyre now. 

“I came here with a warning for you and your court”, Nesta finally said. 

Again, Feyre felt her mouth fall open as she stammered “Excuse me?”

Nesta let out a bored sigh as she moved to the cart next to Feyre’s easel and picked up a paintbrush to examine.

“I am sure you have many questions, but I only came here because there are some things you as the High Lady of the Night Court should know. There is a movement growing on the continent threatening Prynthia. I don’t believe the ruling powers of Montesere and Vallahan are involved, especially with the peace treaties you have established with them, but there may be some within those territories that support it. The majority of this group has been operating in the Wild Lands of the Faerie Realms on the continent. What I do know is that those involved with this movement believe there is a way to steal the power of Prynthia’s courts. They say the ruling High Fae power’s here come from a physical source in this land, and if found, they can take it for themselves.” Nesta twirled the paintbrush in her hand as she turned to face Feyre again. “This group has been trying to subtly infiltrate Prynthia’s courts, and we believe they have gained a source within the the Illyarians.” Nesta said all this deadpanned, returning to staring at Feyre with a blank face as she finished speaking. 

Feyre’s anger came hot and fast. “Are you kidding me Nesta? What are in the Cauldron are you talking about!” 

Nesta simply raised an eyebrow at Feyre’s outburst. “Which part of what I said was unclear? You and your court need to look into dissent among the Illyarians.” 

Feyre let out a disbelieving laugh, “It’s been 8 years, Nesta!” 

“Yes.”

“Eight years since you disappeared without a trace and now you come back and the first thing you tell me is this? With no explanation as to where you have been? What you have been doing? Seriously? That’s all you have to say after you ran away, never contacted your family, but apparently returned to steal weapons?” Feyre gestured to the sword on Nesta’s back. 

Nesta examined the paintbrush in her hand, but said cooly “Since I created the weapons, it wasn’t stealing.” She looked up to Feyre, eyes chips of ice. “The what and where I have been are a long story. I only came to warn you.”

Silence once again filled the dim room.

“Why should I believe you?” Feyre asked, defeated. 

It was Nesta’s turn to ask “What?”

“Why should I believe you,” Feyre repeated, “when you have done nothing to show that I can trust you?” 

Nesta’s infuriating nonchalantness finally slipped a little, and Feyre felt a flash of anger. However, her voice was calm as she responded. “For all our history Feyre, did I ever lie to you, or do anything to make you think I wished harm on you?”

Feyre opened her mouth to respond “no”, but stopped herself. Looking at the Nesta before her, she didn’t know who this person was. 

After a moment she said, “I don’t know.” 

It was quick, but Feyre saw something flash in Nesta’s stormy eyes before her face was once again a mask of cool indifference. 

“Okay then.” Nesta turned to return the paintbrush she still held to its proper place. “As I am sure the rest of your court will also need convincing, I can show you proof if you can meet me on the Obsidian Isles in the East Sea of the Night Court in two days. Noon, on the Northernmost island. 

Feyre was really tired of saying this, but “What?”

Nesta let out an annoyed sigh as she clasped her hands together in front of her and said plainly “Bring your mate and court and meet me in two days to prove to you all I told you was the truth. Is that acceptable to you?” 

Feyre nodded. 

“Good. See you in two days.” With that, Nesta turned on her heels and stalked to the door.

Yet Nesta paused with her hand on the doorknob. For the first time since being in the room, Nesta seemed to waiver. She didn’t move, staring straight at the door. 

“How is he?” She finally asked. It was barely audible, barely more than a whisper as if she was afraid to say it too loud. But it was the one thing Feyre didn’t need to ask what she meant. 

“He searched for you,” There was too much, and not enough to be said.

Nesta turned her head, hand still on the knob, not to look back at Feyre but to stare at the wall to her left. 

“He will come with you to the island.” Feyre couldn’t tell if that was a question or order. 

Either way, Feyre said “Yes.” Even though she didn’t know if he actually would. Feyre didn’t know how he would react to any of this. 

Nesta stood still for a second, before nodding and pushing open the door. She didn’t say another word as she pulled up her hood, stepped out, and vanished into the night. 

Feyre didn’t know how long she stood there, staring out the open door into the dark. It was only when she felt an invisible weight lift off her shoulders, that she realized that the entire time she had been talking to Nesta, she hadn’t been able to feel her bond with Rhys. 

(4/26/2021)

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