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lu-is-not-ok · 1 year

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Hey hey hello can I ask.

What is your specific theories when it comes to "Hong Lu is Lin Daiyu," "Hong Lu, Don Quixote, & Outis are using fake names," and "Our Yi Sang isn't the same Yi Sang?" I saw those on the bingo sheet and I'm super curious as to what they mean.

Ok so. I'm gonna go in order from the ones I'm most confident in to the ones that I think are the most crackhead. Ok? Ok.

Under a Read More cause I get wordy. Like, Really fucking wordy and rambly.

Our Yi Sang isn't the same Yi Sang.

So, here's what we know.

According to Leviathan, Yi Sang is the main researcher behind the technology that allows access to Mirror Worlds. Faust also remarks that he used to be more talkative before he joined Limbus Company.

According to promotional material, as well as just everything he says, Mirrors and Mirror Worlds are an important theme for his character. While I haven't touched Crow's Eye View or any of the real Yi Sang's works yet, I have seen notable quotes from it that seem to hold up those themes as well.

With the recently released info on Canto IV not only being about Yi Sang, but also being longer than the three previous Cantos combined, something tells me we're going to be properly delving into Mirror Worlds and how they tie back to both Yi Sang's backstory and the main plot as a whole.

Okay, so that's all nice and all, but that doesn't answer what the fuck I mean with the Bingo space, right? I'm getting there.

Let's go back to when we first learn about Mirror Worlds in regards to the main plot, the Tutorial. Faust explains that using Mirror World identities can cause one's memories to be replaced with those of their other identities, but explicitly says that there's no danger of one's true identity being actually affected. The Sinners aren't Ships of Theseus, according to her.

Now, you could say that that's just a way to explain away how the cutscenes are unchanged despite using different identities in combat, and to that I say, Have you played any other Project Moon game? The moment they decide to give lore to why game mechanics work the way they do is the moment that lore becomes a significant part of the plot. It happened every time they had to explain why the characters you're controlling go back to life, I doubt they wouldn't do that again for something as major as the effect of Mirror Worlds on a person's identity.

With all of that said. My theory is that Yi Sang is this Ship of Theseus. He was likely the first one to properly access Mirror Worlds, which also likely means the procedures that are now in place to ensure the Sinners' safety weren't there just yet. Who is to say that Yi Sang, who is now a Sinner working for Limbus Company, and Yi Sang, the researcher who worked with Mirror Worlds, could even be considered the same person?

I don't think the exact specifics of what happened matter for this theory. Whether it's an identity swap or identity fusion or some other shit. What matters is that something happened while Yi Sang was researching Mirror Worlds, which left him with his very self and identity changed, possibly irreparably.

After all, don't you think it's interesting that Yi Sang is the only Sinner whose talksprite doesn't have his ID Card or a nameplate anywhere on his uniform? Just food for thought.

...Holy shit that got long, I promise I won't have THAT much to say on the other two you asked about SDFGHJHGF

Hong Lu, Don Quixote, and Outis are using fake names

So this is less so a concrete theory, and more just an observation I made.

All the other Sinners are directly named after their inspirations' real names. The exceptions are Yi Sang, who is named after the author; Hong Lu, who is named after the book itself/the jade the novel's protagonist used to be; Don Quixote, who is named after an alias her inspiration used; and Outis, who is named after a false nickname her inspiration used.

We're going to focus on the latter three. The fact that they're not directly named after the characters they're meant to be inspired by while still alluding to them in different ways is suspicious, especially if you consider the kinds of people they're all shown to be.

Outis is probably the most obvious example here, she's constantly acting shady, boot-licking Dante while disrespecting her fellow Sinners, and generally being quiet about the details of her past outside of making remarks about being part of a military. Even her intro states that her past is classified and that she's extremely cunning.

Don Quixote doesn't seem to be malicious in her deceit like Outis is, but something is still up with her. Her intro compares her to an actor, and her particulars say she has "Delusions of Grandeur". Not only that, but we also see her completely drop her usual personality when called out on not being genuine by the Mariachis, as well as when Vergilius threatens her with a Deal they apparently Made.

Hong Lu is... interesting. I could make a whole seperate analysis about him, but to try to keep it shorter for once, I'll note that his suspicious behavior is much more subtle. While most of the time he acts clueless and overly honest (which, let's be real, he probably genuinely is most of the time), there are also a notable amount of situations where he lies, deflects, or otherwise dodges subjects or questions when they inconvenience him. Something is definitely up with him, he's just better at hiding it.

This all culminates in a shared design feature of these three on their talksprites, that none of the other Sinners seem to have. Instead of having their ID Cards attached to their uniform, like everyone else does, they have small metal nameplates on the lapels of their jackets.

This is notable as it's something shared Only between these three characters. The other Sinners all have an ID Card attached to a visible spot on their uniform, while Yi Sang, a character who fits neither of the naming schemes since he's named after an author, has neither an ID Card or a nameplate.

Again, not necessarily a concrete theory. Just some observations that could lead to a revelation later on in the plot.

Hong Lu is Lin Daiyu

Ok this one is probably the least supported out of any of these, and the one I believe in the least.

It's like, generally accepted that Hong Lu is supposed to be based on Jia Baoyu from Dream of the Red Chamber, right? Here's the thing, I think that is still the case, but, however.

There are a few things about Hong Lu that point less in his inspiration being Baoyu, and more of it being Lin Daiyu, Baoyu's fated love interest. Not all of it, mind you, but at least some.

One, Hong Lu's eyes. Daiyu's name means blue-black jade, which Hong Lu's eyes seem to subtly, but probably deliverately referencing.

Two, Hong Lu's personality. While none of the Sinners are exactly the same as their inspirations, you can still point where some of their traits come from.

Using Rodya as an example (as Crime and Punishment is the only of the relevant books I had Fully read), her overwhelming self-confidence is very likely a reference to how book Rodion believed himself to be above man. While there are some differences (Rodya's motives are a bit more selfless compared to Rodion's, for example), the base idea of their characters is the same.

Why is this important? Well, while I haven't finished reading Dream of the Red Chamber yet, I am slowly making my way through it. And while there are some ways in which Hong Lu resembles Baoyu, there are also quite a few that things that set them apart to the point it's hard to believe Hong Lu is based only on him.

Here's the thing about Baoyu: he's a trouble maker. He throws tantrums, is highly emotional, and gets borderline treated as a sort of black sheep of his family, especially by his Father (which I will come back to).

Compare that to Hong Lu, who seems to avoid causing trouble (most of the arguments he causes seem to be completely on accident), is stoically smiling all the time to the point it can be almost unnerving, and some of his dialogue seems to imply that his family was at least decently fond of him, if not more (his comment about being "a gem of a child" in his Liu uptie story comes to mind).

Then compare that to Daiyu, who seems to be unanimously loved by her current household, tends to keep her emotions to herself, and tries to stay out of trouble while still making remarks here and there when she notices something off. (An example that comes to my mind is when someone in the family decides to gift all the girls in the Jia household some flower decorations, and Daiyu remarks how she was the last one to be given one and thus was left with leftovers.)

I don't know about you, but that sounds closer to what Hong Lu seems to be like, at least to me.

Three, remember how I mentioned Baoyu's Father? Yeah. Let's talk about that.

Hong Lu mentions his Father in one of his main menu Chatter lines, expressing excitement over being able to introduce his new friends to him.

Why is this relevant? Becuase Baoyu is terrified of his Father, it's a pretty major point that his Father is the Main person in his family that considers Baoyu a disappointment and a disgrace. And it's not something that develops later on in the novel, I'm on Chapter 10 out of 120 and it has been a prevalent thing for a few chapters now.

There are two ways I can see this being resolved. Either Hong Lu is majorly lying to himself (which honestly might not be out of the question), or Hong Lu isn't based entirely on Baoyu, but is inspired by a mix of Baoyu and Daiyu.

That was. An extremely wordy and rambly way of saying that I think Hong Lu is based on two characters instead of one. Uh. Oops.

#ask #limbus company #limbus company project moon #lcb theory #yi sang #yi sang lcb #hong lu #hong lu lcb #don quixote #don quixote lcb #outis #outis lcb #lu speaketh #i feel like ive just written a script to a game theory #dear fucking lord

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fungi-maestro · 2 years

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So what is Ditko's Vic personality and how does it differ from other iterations?

I'm going to put this under a readmore bc I am going to use this opportunity to talk about a cool article dissecting this exact character difference! But TLDR, I think the core of Ditko's Question is a black and white objectivism that isn't present in most other iterations. You'll see a little flicker of it occasionally, especially in ones that showcase the vintage personality (like the Blue Beetle short from a few years ago), or ones where they Rorschach-ify him (like PAX), but for the most part his modern character is dependent on him seeing the world as complex, which his old persona really was never able to do while locked into the Randian mindset.

Ok, now onto the readmore.

That's why he's the Question, to find answers to the complicated shades of grey that exist in the world. This is what makes him so interesting, to me at least, and what gives his character the staying power it needs. That's why he chooses complicated people to be his allies and proteges, like our very own Renee Montoya. Ditko Question would see someone with the kind of inner battles that we see in Renee and brush her off, probably giving the viewer a weird speech about unfaltering moral fortitude or something.

I also think it's interesting how Ditko Question was built into the mold of a character that always wins his battles due to his Strong Unwavering Right and Wrong Morals. You see this parodied with the tragedy of Rorschach in Watchmen, a man who stuck to his morals until it ultimately killed him, but you see the inverse of it with modern Vic. This is a guy that holds to his morals, which are complicated and messy, and doesn't win every time. It could be argued that this is a symptom of the purpose of heroes and comics changing over time, but it's still vital to understanding the character change.

Take this quote from this article here that talks about the Watchmen reference issue.

Regardless, O’Neil and Cowan’s most effective decision is to have everything go wrong for Question every time he tries to live up to the standards of his hero Rorschach. In this issue, Question falls out of a building on a man and kills him (this is before he reads Watchmen but still), loses literally every fight he gets in, drinks too much and pukes in a toilet, and is set for execution in the snow before a DC hero staple, Denny O’Neil’s own hard-travelin’ Green Arrow, shows up deus ex machina to save him!

There is a very good chance in every Question story that he might lose. You see him come really close! I can't even count the number of times he gets the snot beat out of him trying to stick to what he feels is right, even if I only tried to do so with the O'Neil run. And what's even more amazing is that his morals are things he grapples with. He doesn't have all the answers, and he doesn't claim to. Here's another quote (last one I promise, go read the article. It's quick and really opened my mind)

This Question goes on to grow, to use violence less, to become so open-minded and curious he confuses the Riddler with his amorphous doubts. O’Neil and Cowan’s Vic Sage grows well beyond Rand’s objectivism, acknowledging the vast pools of gray in the world, and acquiring the self-awareness to understand he doesn’t have all the answers.

Like how he talks to Izzy about if he's "crossed any lines" and he doesn't give a straight answer. He's not sure where his line is, and he really isn't sure if he's gone past it.

And here when he saves Izzy, who at the time was one of the most corrupt people in Hub City (a real feat). He obviously isn't happy about it, but his gut is telling him that it isn't right to let someone die, even if he doesn't like them. He can't be the judge on if they deserve to live.

You see it again here with this criminal that killed someone in front of him. Vic doesn't have the answer to whether someone should die for their crimes.

Compare this to such classics from the Ditko era as "Vic leaves some criminals to drown in the sewers" and "Vic pushes a guy out a window, breaking their flight apparatus, where they are then presumed dead". (I had screenshots of these, but I can't find them? They're in my tags. Somewhere.)

I would say there are some oddball runs for this characteristic, though. The 2005 one comes to mind. He definitely decides those guys fates, and leaving them chopped to pieces in a puddle of wet cement is his idea of justice. There's nuance here too, with the life of Superman on the line, the serious levels of corruption that were being left unaddressed, and his own personal battle with his ego that he was working through. It still speaks to someone that doesn't subscribe to the Randian objectivism that Ditko Question is famous for.

It's kind of awesome that a character like the Question, who starts his career as a guy that seems to have a good answer to every dilemma, is perfectly set up to be a complex and painfully raw depiction of someone that really tries to be good, but doesn't know what that looks like every time. He doesn't know everything, so he has to question the world, his morals, and everything he knows. It's really beautiful to me. Let me know what you guys think, I'd love to hear it.

#ask #timdrakessweatyhands #book club #seal.txt #the question #vic sage #dc comics #comics

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shinydixon · 1 year

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at that hellcheer anon: i get what you're saying. i truly do. but the problem is that you will always have the privilege of shipping a straight ship. i call it a privilege because even if someone disagrees with your ship, even when someone says the forest scene is just a drug deal, there will always be someone saying 'no no no, look at how he makes her laugh, they're in love!' when we, steddie shippers, point out a moment we think is cute, the big boy scene, for example. if we say eddie's flirting, there will be a hundred straight people yelling that he's just teasing, it's just the way eddie behaves. if we point out that eddie comparing steve to ozzy for biting that bat is a huge thing given how much eddie loves ozzy, hellcheers will chime in with a 'it's just an example!'. WE, the gay, bi, trans, non-binaries get called STDs. not the hellcheers. WE get called that. and i'm sorry but that hurts a lot more than somene saying the forest scene is just a drug deal. WE are the ones who suffer when a venue isn't inclusive. WE get our questions thrown away while hellcheers get to ask EVERY SINGLE ACTOR the exact same question just to validate their own ship. when WE point out that joseph is the one who brings up steve all the time,WE get called delusional. when joseph says that steddie would be a good fit, WE have to listen from hellcheers that he just wanted to keep the peace and that he was very uncomfortable. joseph has gone on record saying the best part about his job is that he could watch joe keery shirtless all the time. obviously he was making a joke but to some hellcheers this quote doesn't even exist. it's really fucking hard to be demonized because our ship is m/m. it fucking hurts. i like to think we're moving forward but every time something like this happens i just lose all hope. you people bullied a fucking journalist for an article that about a character. you bullied her until she had to promise to write another because you made an article about eddie turn into an issue within the fandom that had nothing to do with that stupid article. only because a fan of joe had said it was weird that grace had stood by and applauded some of the behavior you people have been displaying. and yet we are the crazy ones. i'm sorry but if you're straight then you don't have to worry about holding hands with your partner in public. we have. we have to be very mindful of our every move because some people are out to get us just because they hate us. and then we come online and find comfort in this ship and we get called STDs. i'm sure there are good people in your fandom, anon, but it's not enough to excuse this kind of behavior.

I just correct the "straight couple" because some people HC eddie and chrissy as bisexuals (i, for example HC eddie as bisexual) so let's just say that it's a privilege to ship a man and a woman/ boy and a girl.

I want to add tho that I don't blame the hellcheers, like that nonnie, that actually ship their ship and don't start shit with us, the problem are the louder and toxic ones.

For the rest? I agree with you

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queerbuckleys · 2 years

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on a wednesday chapter 2/2: begin again [chapter 1] [2k words | fluff | some feelings] {AO3} @buddieversion Red Prompt: Begin Again- first date @buddiebingo square: Maddie Buckley

a/n: I really said I am going to take canon things and put them in a blender for this au, which was fun! But don't ask about the timeline- I actually have no idea. somehow this chapter ended up being twice as long as the first one so *shrugs* I do not own these characters they belong to 9-1-1 and Fox likes and reblogs appreciated Enjoy ❤

“So I heard that you have a date with ‘Hot Guy’”, Maddie says sipping her complementary latte as Buck wiped down the counter, baseball hat thrown on to cover his mussed curls,

“He has a name Maddie.” Buck sighs, trying to avoid the implied question, “I knew you dating Chim was gonna end great for me,”

“Hey I have seen Hot Guy, and” Hen whistles,

“Guys please, it’s one date. He probably only felt obligated to after I watched Christopher for him,” Buck bites his lip,

“Wait who is Christopher?” Hen asks,

“His 2 year old son. Listen, I don’t even know if we get a long that great, okay? I have barely said two words to him and I made a fool of myself both times.” Buck replied sagging against the counter.

“I’m sure it wasn't that bad.”

“I told him about my last first date,” both Maddie and Hen deflate a little, “And I asked him how he knew my name even though-”

“You wear a name tag.” Hen finishes,

“Evan, you have been texting him for a week,” Buck perks up and looks indignant, “Don’t play coy with me, you have been anxiously checking your phone, and you smile every time you get a text. This is the exact behaviour that you chided me and Chim for not 3 months ago.”

“That was different!” Buck whisper shouts,

“Okay, fine.” She doesn’t sound convinced (and she shouldn’t be), ”But promise me that you will actually schedule a date,” Maddie says reaching over the counter to squeeze his arm, “I gotta run to work, have a good shift guys!”

“Bye Mads,” they both shout after her, and then look over the shop that is otherwise empty,

“Another riveting tuesday afternoon,” Buck says twirling his cloth around,

“So you said Hot Guy has a name?” Hen asks facing away from the door, Buck staring at her, mouth open a little,

“Eddie,” Buck says breathlessly

“Hot Guy huh?” Eddie says from behind her, smiling brightly,

“Was not supposed to ever find out about that Henrietta,” Buck continues barely looking at Eddie out of sheer embarrassment.

“You had a nickname for me? And it was and I quote ‘Hot Guy’” Eddie continues smile somehow getting brighter,

“Well Eddie, I’m Hen.” she introduces herself after it is clear that Buck still needs a moment,

“Should I expect a if you hurt him speech from you?”

“No that would be his other older sister.”

“You’re my older sister now Hen?”

“Have been since you walked in here on bambi legs and with wide eyes Buckaroo”

“Thought your name was Buck?” Eddie asks his tone playful,

“Well no, my name is Evan. But only under very certain circumstances do people get to call me that.” Buck smirks, “Anyway, what can I get for you? It’s on the house.” he barely notices Hen slipping into the back,

“Just my usual,”

“I have uh no idea what that is.”

“You have a nickname for me but have never made me my signature black coffee?”

“You are always here before me!” Buck protests starting the machine,

“I’m just kidding, just make me something you think I might like,”

“No dissertation to work on today?”

“Nope, you said Tuesday afternoons were usually q-”

“Don’t even-” Buck whips around, almost spilling the milk brandishing it like a weapon,

“So I wanted to stop by and actually talk to you.”

“Isn't that what our date is for?”

“The house was also too quiet. Chris is with my Abuela today. I have a meeting with some students later so I’m just killing time.”

Buck sets the mug down in front of Eddie, “This is my specialty. Try it.”

“Your specialty is a latte?” Eddie asks playfully,

“No, sort of, just try it.”

Buck watches as the flavors hit Eddie, the gentle bit of cocoa powder and then the heat of the cayenne pepper all finally balancing out with the milk.

“Wow”

“So do you like it?”

“No wonder it’s your signature. Thank you.” Eddie says ducking his head with a small smile,

Buck is thinking of something to say next when Eddie’s phone rings, he furrows his brow but answers, and Buck returns to cleaning up from making the latte.

“Buck, I’m really sorry, but I gotta go.” Buck whips around at the edge in Eddie’s voice, “I gotta go to the hospital.”

“Hen!” Buck calls without a second thought, whisking his apron off and coming around the counter, “Eddie, take a deep breath. Can you look at me? There you go. Which hospital?”

“Uh, Cedar Sinai?”

“Okay, that’s just a couple blocks from here, and I know someone there. I’ll come with you.”

“Buck?” Hen asks,

“Hey Hen, someone is in the hospital. I don’t know that any details beyond that were retained so I’m gonna head over there with Eddie. Also say hi to Maddie. I should be back soon.”

And they are out the door.

“Evan?” Maddie said as they stepped into the ER waiting area, “Are you all right?”

“Fine Maddie, not a scratch on me.” Buck grins, “Eddie?”

“Uh yeah, Edmundo Diaz, I was called?”

“Let me see what I can find.” Maddie replied, throwing questioning eyes at Buck who silently told her he would explain later, “Looks like Isabel Diaz was admitted for a fall about 20 minutes ago. You can head up to the 2nd floor.”

Something in Eddie relaxes a bit before he turns to walk to the elevators

“Thanks Mads!” Buck says blowing a kiss as he jogs to catch up with Eddie.

They arrive on the second floor and Buck hangs back watching as Eddie speaks to an older woman, after swooping Christopher up in his arms from the small table scattered with toys in the center of the waiting area. A look passes over Eddie’s face as he checks his watch, and then his eyes fall on Buck. “Hey, I have my meeting in like 45 minutes, Pepa needs to stay here with my Abuela, and Chris can’t really be either place,” he runs his fingers through his hair and the harried look returns,

“Eddie, I’ll take him for the afternoon. I am sure Bobby wouldn’t mind. Others bring their kids occasionally. It’s really no biggie, he’ll just put me on clean-up or something.” Buck replies. Buck and Christopher have a wonderful afternoon together, looking at more paintings and reorganizing the small bookshelf in the corner of the shop. Chris charms Hen and Bobby in 5 minutes flat. Bobby is reading one of the few children’s books from the shelf when Eddie returns.

“Buck?” Eddie questions searching the shop,

“Eddie?” Bobby asks as Chris shouts “Dadaa”, “I am guessing you are his dad then. Bobby Nash,”

Eddie relaxes for what feels like the millionth time today and holds out his hand and shakes Bobby’s hand, and smiles,

“Thank you. Really it means so much that you allowed Chris to spend the afternoon here.” he says as he takes Chris back into his arms.

“Hey, Buck said you and Chris are important to him.” Bobby said as if that was an answer. And then Eddie realized it was. The little coffee shop he had chosen at random from the list on google maps a few weeks ago had turned into something so much bigger than that. He had found his pocket of people in the most random of places. But he was happy.

A week later and nearly twice as many texts exchanged between the two in the same span of time, found them on their first date. Finally. After much deliberation on both their parts and convincing from Buck’s, they ended up at the zoo on a Wednesday afternoon.

Chris happily being passed between them, looking at and petting all the animals he could.

As they spent time at the giraffe enclosure, Chris giggling at the feeling of the animal’s tongue against his small hand filled with food held in Eddie’s,

“Would you three like your picture taken with Sofie?” a zoo keeper asks as she passes by them,

“Yeah! Absolutely!” Buck replies already handing over his phone.

They go through the business of taking several pictures, some with silly faces, until Chris is satisfied.

The zoo keeper, Blair her name tag reads, hands Buck his phone back while Eddie and Chris immediately become reocupied in petting Sofie,

“You two have an adorable son.” She says with a smile, and Buck gulps, it’s their first date. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that? Before he thinks of anything else or tries an overly long convoluted explanation, he just settles on, “Thank you.” before she’s too far away to hear anything at all.

A bit later while Chris is thoroughly engrossed in the lemurs from his stroller Eddie clears his throat with a distant look in his eye,

“I know this is probably not what you imagined when you thought of dating. The zoo with a 2 year old.” Eddie said his eyes trained on one of the lemurs,

“Eddie,”

“Let me just. I thought after Shannon left that it would just be me and Chris ya know? Us against the world. And then I walked into this cute little coffee shop and saw this guy. With the most gorgeous blue eyes and curls of blond hair and I thought to myself for a split second that I could have him. For that split second before all the voices came back, I could have you and it was perfect. And then immediately felt guilty, because that meant I would have to lie about Chris, about my life. Lie about me. About my ex-wife and my trauma. And that doesn’t even touch the sexuality aspect. But you have seen all that, and you’re still standing here with me, on what has to be the strangest first date in history-”

“Did you forget that on my last first date, I ended up getting a emergency tracheotomy on the restaurant floor. Eddie I, I had to tell myself that you were just Hot Guy for weeks, that there was no way you were going to talk to me or even know my name. And then when we were texting I had to keep denying myself that it was barely ever just a crush. There has just always been something about you, and that day with Chris, it didn’t even phase me. So you had a kid! And there is no universe in which I don’t see you two for what you are- a package deal. Because I don’t think there is a universe in which we don’t end up here. Well maybe not here , at the zoo, but I think we would have always made it to a first date. Chris just pressed the fast forward button… And took the remote control and sent us here-”

“That’s precisely my point Buck. My life is such a mess that we are here! With a 2 year old, when I promised you a not too fancy dinner.”

“Eh, we will have the chance to have all different kinds of dinners.” Buck replied grabbing Eddie’s hand and leaning into him, “look at me,” Buck moved in front of Eddie finally catching his eyes, wiping a thumb across eddie’s cheek bone, “I know this might sound ridiculous and there should be no way that I know this so soon, but Eddie- you and Chris, you two are what I have been wandering around looking for. You make my life feel like some sort of wild outlandish rom-com. One of those cheesy Hallmark ones.”

“Really?” Eddie swallows, “It’s been like two weeks?”

“Best weeks of my life.” Buck says unwavering,

“Are you sure?”

“If I kiss you would you believe me?” Buck smiles,

“I don’t know. You’ll just have to try and find out.” Eddie replies a twinkle in his eye.

Buck tilts Eddie’s chin up the ever so slight amount so their mouths can meet, and it’s soft and chaste. Because there are countless kisses in the future, some at the zoo, but most not. Some with Chris in the stroller next to them, but most not. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

endnote: some background that did not make it into this fic but i thought too much about; Eddie is a sociology grad student TAing a class on sexualities (this week was on sexual deviance- so not entirely appropriate for a 2 year old) (also this hypothetical class is based on a real one offered at my school) the sexuality comment from eddie is in reference to him being somewhere on the ace spectrum- it's intricate and is a whole lot of projecting but i wont get into the intricacies of that here and it something that i may write about in a future fic. anyway, one of the giraffes at the LA Zoo is in fact named Sofie, i did research for this lads. thanks for reading :)

#userceecee #usersharky #usercombat #useroliii #useryb #tagnic #userweres #buddiefanfiction #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #9-1-1 on fox #9-1-1 fic #911 fanfic #aj writes stuff #buddiebingo #buddiebingofill #buddieversion

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thejustmaiden · 3 years

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So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

#anti yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru is rin's dad #papamaru #hogosha 💖#the sequel may not be canon but sunrise can still burn in hell

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ms-indifferwnt · 3 years

Text

I’m Cold

“I'm cold"

"And?"

"Can't you give me your jacket or something?"

"Can't you accept my proposal and marry me already?"

In which Prince Donghyuck's parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up

Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn

Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive (I'll add more if there are)

Notes: Chapter 5 of Im Cold. Sorry this one took longer, hope you guys enjoy

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

Prev / Chapter 5 / Next

"We'll take it" The Prince starts and Y/n looks at him in shock

"My Prince, er Donghyuck we don't have to," She starts and looks at herself in the mirror "This isn't necessary"

He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head while he readjusted his sitting position "I promised you we'd go shopping so we're going shopping" he eyes her and shakes his head "I don't like that," he looks to the sales lady "Get me a darker color of that exact dress"

"Donghyuck!"

He smiles and playfully copies her tone "Y/n" He crosses his arms "Let me spoil you, besides didn't I tell you to take advantage of me?" He asks

"You're the prince"

"Which is exactly why you have to do so, I would be very disappointed otherwise" He looks to the side and bowed his head at the sales lady with the different colored dress "Try this one" he hands it off to her and she furrows her eyebrows not taking the dress "Put this on willingly or I help you put it on?"

You blinked "You're kidding" you dared and stood your place

"Alright," He says moving to lead you inside the changing room "I'll help you change"

Only for you to yelp and grab the dress "I'll change, I'll change, stop it" walking inside the changing room, wearing the dress he has given her, it was a maroon colored wrap dress, with sleeves that reach her wrists an a skirt a couple of inches higher than her knees.

She walked out, showing the prince the latest dress he has picked out for her and received a shocked reaction from the prince. He knows that the wrap dress would look beautiful on her since he has seen her wear that dress and he has asked for a darker color but, Oh My God, she looked beautiful, the dress was absolutely perfect for her, he trailed his eyes down her body, and then nods

"We'll take it" He says to the sales lady and points at it "that is my favorite dress, wear it for tonight"

She raises an eyebrow in confusion "What's gonna happen tonight?"

He smiles and shakes his head "Nothing, now change back then lets go get jewelry"

"Your highness-" She started and stayed in place

"Go, Y/n" He ushers and smiles "then we can get ice cream"

"You're highness you're not allowed with too much sweets"

"Then I won't eat, you will, besides I love sweets"

Arriving back at the palace Y/n and the prince (mostly Y/n) was exhausted and excited to just lie in bed and be on her phone and just be by herself, today was too eventful for her liking

"Then I decided to bathe my pink turtle-" He replies when he notices the the female wasn't paying attention to him anymore and was proven right when she nodded

He rolls his eyes ,"Y/n" He calls and snaps his fingers infront of her face "Wakey-wakey?"

She blinks and bows in apology once the prince was able to hold her down to reality "Sorry, I was thinking"

He nods "its fine, I tired you out didn't I?" He chuckles "You should rest, you're gonna need it for the days to come. I'll wake you myself for dinner, so don't worry about it" He leads her to her room, assuring her as he holds her hand.

Once the Prince leaves her room she picks out a change of comfortable clothes and collapsed on the bed. She has been a maid for quite a while but today has left her exhausted, she feels absolutely drained, she was thankful for the rest she was about to have

She couldn't help but think about the Prince and the early encounters, was he always that protective? She shifts and hugs one pillow, remembering that moment when the Prince was furious that he almost did something he might regret, If she wasn't there, something must've happened

"Lets go get Ice-cream"

She blinks and smiles, He did nothing today but buy her cake, clothes, jewelry, and Ice cream. The Prince made sure she was comfortable and not left out, he would be a wonderful King, She sighs and closes her eyes, her thoughts and dreams being plagued by the beautiful sun kissed boy "And when the two weeks are over, we go our separate ways"

She doesn't know why, or what makes this feeling so strong but all of a sudden she hates herself

Donghyuck sat crossed legged in the tea room as his parents spoke to him about his day and his chosen benefactors, it was boring and he barely listened, his hands moved to play with his watch, a habit he has developed after Prince Chenle gave him a watch on his thirteenth birthday, speaking of that, Chenle's birthday is coming up, Donghyuck should really think of a present for the guy. Come to think of it, he doesn't know about Y/n's birthday, he should ask her, yeah he'll ask her

"Donghyuck" His mom brought him out of his day dream "are you even listening to me?"

He nods, he wasn't, "I was, and I can say yes, its possible" His dad raises his eyebrow and Donghyuck slyly and carefully waved his hand to ask for help from him who distracted his wife, sparing the prince from an earful

Donghyuck leans back, calling over his one of the stand ins there Yuta, who was also one of his friends "What were we talking about? I wasn't listening"

He smiles amused by the Prince "Being in love does that too you," He teases "I honestly thought I'll never see the day-"

"Shut up and tell me Hyung" Donghyuck mumbles

"The queen asked if Lady Y/n would join dinner and you replied with a quote 'yes, its possible'"

Donghyuck groaned as Yuta teases him. He can't believe he just agreed to something on her behalf by accident. There's nothing he could do now, right? I mean the choices were wake Y/n up and probably get the stink eye (she just seems like the person who gets cranky when you wake them. Every morning Y/n would wake up on her own, so its not impossible) or decline his mom's offer and get yelled at.

"I'll wake you myself for dinner, so don't worry about it"

The Prince nods at the memory, right He can wake her and have dinner. He stands and and smiles at his Parents "I'll go wake her" He informs and leaves the room, walking slowly to her, thinking of what to say, on how to wake her "Oh, and for dessert get something sweet" he smiles and bows

The King and the Queen stared at their sons leaving figure "he doesn't like sweets...?" The Queen starts

Yuta grins at the leaving figure before bowing "It isn't for him, your Grace"

Once he entered her room, he smiles at the sight, she changed into a loose tee and shorts, he had half a mind to tuck her in and let her sleep, but he was hungry, and he didn't want to get yelled at

"Y/n" he whispered and pets her hair, sitting down on the bed beside her "Wake up, sleepy head, lets eat dinner"

Y/n roused from her dreamless sleep by the sound of his voice, at first she thought it was just her imagination but his voice kept whispering and almost lulled her to sleep until she heard his voice tell her to eat. She slowly woke up, opening her eyes to be greeted by the handsome Prince running his fingers through her locks. She didn't mean it, leaning into his touch, neither noticed until she felt the warmth of the prince's hand on her cheek and she gasps, sitting up, making the prince stand up

"um," He says, his cheeks slightly pink as Y/n refuses to look at him "Its dinner time, lets go" He stands and clears his throat standing to look through her wardrobe to not look at her in the eye

He places his hand on his chest, willing his heart to stop thumping against his ribcage, he placed his other hand (the one he was holding her with) infront of him and he blinked grabbing one of the dresses there and turning to look at her who smiled softly at the prince, she looked unaffected, he didn't like it.

Y/n's heart was still beating at an irregular pace, she smiles softly once the prince looks at her "I'm sorry but why should I wear something so fancy?"

He looks at her and smiles, placing the dress on the bed "Because, my parents wanna eat dinner with you, would you rather wear that?"

He teases and points at her tee and she instinctively covered up using the blanket and he looked away "Um, sorry" He blushed again, God this room was getting stuffy "Change into this, or would you rather a different one?"

She shakes he head, as Hana walks in bowing at the Prince and Female on the bed, "I'll change into that, thankyou"

Hana takes the dress and smiles as she leads Y/n inside the bathroom, Hana was giggling as she helped her out of her current clothes "I hope I'm not stepping out of line, but you and the Prince have a cute chemistry"

Y/n couldn't help but raise her eyebrows "We were just speaking" She points out as Hana helps he into the dress, a red mid-thigh length, sleeves up until the elbow, the edge of the dress, the skirt part was adorned with a golden design, it sparkled with her movement, she would never admit it but the prince had a wonderful taste in clothes

"Well you were," Hana smiles and and adjusts the skirt so that it doesn't folded inward "But you and the Prince still have that, shy aura around, not many couples posses that now a days, My lady"

Maybe because we're not dating. Y/n hums and looks at the mirror "They don't?"

Hana nods "I assure you, MiLady, They Don't"

Arriving at the dining hall, with The Prince's and Y/n's armed linked together, you can tell from a far that she would be the perfect bride, The Prince was mischievous and everyone can tell, he had something up his sleeve, He helped her to her seat first, and usually the Prince would be teasing or joking around but for tonight, The King and The Queen watched as their son gave Y/n a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze, a silent promise that she'll be alright

"Y/n" The Queen calls and Y/n bows along with the Prince "Please, no need to bow, you'll be family" She looks at The Prince at her words and He squeezes her hand again before helping her sit "Donghyuck is so proper with you, such a nice change of pace" She starts and laughs as The prince looked at her in shock

"I am Proper!" He raises his voice

"Donghyuck" Y/n calls and looks at him warningly, you do not raise your voice at the Queen, he looks at her and closes his mouth, sitting down with a small huff when she tugs on his sleeve

The King laughs at the display infront of him, "Donghyuck, you're fiance is right, don't raise your voice at your mother" He smiles and looks at her bowing his head "Its nice to finally meet you, Y/n"

She bows her head "Its my pleasure, Your Grace"

"Please, no need to be so formal" He smiles and assures "We're thankful to have you, Donghyuck needed someone who could control him" He teases

The Queen nods and smiles at Y/n "besides the point, we know you might be a little scared, but please don't be, We're happy to have you in our life, especially Donghyuck"

Donghyuck was focused on Y/n through out the conversation on the way she spoke and acted and how she would bow her head at every word, he looked at how she fidgeted whenever his parents spoke directly at her and he reaches out to push the hair behind her ear, making her look and he smiles "you're doing great" He praises, both implied as a don't worry and acting as his fiance

The King and Queen smiled at how affectionate their son was.

Once Dinner was served everybody started eating, Y/n joining the conversation from time to time until the King stood up "Donghyuck, I need to show you something, come with me"

Donghyuck looks at Y/n "you gonna-" he earned a small laugh from her, effectively cutting him off

"I'll be fine, besides, the King is more important then me"

Donghyuck shrugs and stands up "Well, not exactly"

Y/n blinks "What-?"

He winks teasingly and followed his father

Once they left the Queen stands, making Y/n to aswell "Lets go for a walk in the garden while they ready dessert?" She asks and Y/n nods

The queen leads her out into the hallway and into the garden, Y/n was amazed at how beautiful the flowers looked at night which made the Queen laugh "You've never seen the garden at night?"

"No, My Queen" She answers and stands, no longer kneeling to be face to face with the Iris Flowers "I was one of the maids in charge of keeping the rooms of the palace spotless, I'm usually cleaning at night"

The Queen nods and leads her at one of the garden chairs, letting her sit "Please, don't be so formal, We'll be family soon, its only fair to call me normally" She smiles at her teasingly "I wouldn't mind being called Mother by you either"

Y/n blushes, "I-" she starts out as the redness crawls up her neck making the Queen laugh more

She stops with a wave of her hand, while some maids place the tea and desserts on the table in front of them "Actually, Y/n, I would like to properly thank you", Y/n opens her mouth to speak but the Queen beat her to it "Thank you for returning Donghyuck's feelings and staying by his side, His Father and I have been worried, all we ever wanted is for him to be happy, and being with you does that to him" She smiles and reaches out to hold her hand "Thank you"

I’m Cold Taglist:

@staysstrays @tyongf-sunflower99 @jackyeonglli @rebel-lious-alien

If you wanna be added, leave a comment♡♡

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lilmissbeanie · 4 years

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Haikyuu Masterlist

Keiji Akaashi x Famous!F!Reader

Song ~ Ass Back Home - Gym Class Heroes

Genre ~ SFW Fluff

Word Count ~ 1.8k

Posted ~ 11/08/20

Akaashi sighed as he once again read another article about Y/n L/n and Jason Derulo, or some other artist always presuming that they were together. He didn't want to be jealous, but he couldn't help it when he saw his girl with some other guys, wasn't that normal?

He knew it was going to be hard when he asked her to be his girlfriend. He knew she would be away often she would be travelling for tours and of course, meeting up with other artists to collaborate on songs, even though he knew that her new song would be a collaboration with Jason Derulo.

He trusted her, the same way that Bokuto would trust his sets back in high school, the way that Bokuto would always know that Akaashi would always get the ball to him to spike. He knew she would never cheat on him, that wasn't who she was. He knew by the excitement in her voice when he answered the phone, "Kei!" The excitable giggles paired with the massive happy grin he saw on video call on the rare occasions that she could. Usually, it was voice messages or texts with the time difference, but some times she would stay up late so they could video chat, he would let the small smile grace his features when she would rub her eyes cutely and yawn. The way he would tell her to go to bed cause she is tired and she would pout innocently saying that she wasn't worn out. She would ask about his day listening as she slowly doses off, he didn't take it as an insult he just knew she was exhausted. He would sit there smiling at her sleeping face, looking like an innocent child, where she still had her phone in a light grip facing her.

"Good night, my Juliette sleep well. I love you."

"I... l-love you too my Romeo" would often be mumbled back, in her half-dazed state. With Akaashi's love of literature, Y/n just slipped it out once called him her Romeo and ever since it stuck.

Running his finger around the rim of his glass he sighed, it had been a few days since he had heard from her, he knew she was busy he had seen on her Twitter and Instagram that they added more tour dates in America as they stadiums had sold out. It had been eight months since the pair were actually in person together.

"AKAASHI!" He flinched at Bokuto's sudden loudness as said boy appeared next to him. "Why so, mopey? Oh, you're missing Y/n aren't you!"

"Hey my Romeo, I'm sorry I haven't called or texted you in a while, the tour has gotten so hectic recently we are doing two shows a day, so most of my fans can come, and watch and my manager wants to add even more dates." He smiled, enjoying the sound of her voice even if it is over voicemail, and she sounded exhausted. He had woken up for work and seen that he had missed a call from her at three am. "I know you're going to ask when I am going to be home, but I don't know at the moment, but soon I hope I'm going to tell my manager that I need a break. I hope to be home for Christmas."

Rolling his eyes, he shrugged and gave a slight nod to Bokuto's question.

Bokuto suddenly felt terrible for Akaashi. He didn't know how he felt. He didn't have a love like Akaashi. His passion is for Volleyball is his true love right now. He remembered the day he introduced Akaashi and Y/n. She was at an after-party of a game that the Black Jackals won and Bokuto dragged Akaashi along. It was like the couple connected instantly and they soon got together. Bokuto would often turn up at Akaashi's find them sprawled out on the sofa, Y/n with her head in his lap, his fingers running through he hair as he read a book to her. Bokuto had gotten many pictures of them like this. He loved how relaxed Akaashi was around her, a way he hadn't seen with anyone else.

He knew that she was going to say that.

"Anyway I miss you my Romeo, I cannot wait to be home and in your arms again. I want to be in our little bubble of love and cuddles, of you reading to me while you play with my hair. I want to be in the studio with you listening to me sing my new songs and telling me which words would work better with the lyrics I have written." He laughed he did often sit in the studio with her after he finishes work, reading over her new lyrics and crossing out the odd word and putting one that worked better with the theme of the song. He loved watching her pick at the strings of her acoustic guitar playing a few cords and seeing if they worked when she ran her fingers over the keys of the piano. He loved that she could play different instruments.

"I love you so much, Romeo. I hope you sleep well. See you as soon as I can. Bye-bye, my sweet Romeo."

About three weeks later he was sat at his desk eating his lunch, watch the recent interview Y/n had with OK! Magazine.

'So Y/n, when the tour is over what is the first thing you're going to do?' Chloe, the interviewer, asked

'I think it will be sleep we've had some busy months recently, most days doing two shows to it is hard work.' He laughed along with his beloved.

'We've been keeping up to date on your social media, who is this Romeo you keep mentioning, we often see and I quote, I miss you my sweet Romeo, or I love you, Romeo.' He would always reply, but his account was private so no one unless they followed him and accepted it.

'My Romeo is waiting for me at home; I promised him I wouldn't mention him until he is ready for the spotlight as he isn't an actor or musician. But he is my Romeo, and I am very excited to get home and be with him again.' He was so glad that she didn't spill the beans about their relationship. He already had enough of the spotlight with being friends with most of the Black Jackals team, he already has his pictures in magazines when the team goes out, and he gets dragged along with Kuroo by Bukoto and Hinata.

'Can you tell us one thing about him?' Chloe pushed for more details about him. He loved how Y/n's nose would scrunch up, and her left eyebrow would shoot up as he tapped her chin in thought.

'He was a volleyball setter in high school.' She smiled. Akaashi smirked at the fact she gave, there were many setters across the world, and narrowing down to him would be hard. 'And he is my bookworm,'

'A setter and bookworm, those don't often go together!' Chloe laughed, with Y/n soon joining her.

'I know, and I have Shoyo Hinata and Kotaro Bokuto. But honestly, if it wasn't for him I'm sure some of my songs wouldn't make sense, a lot of my lyrics in my book have his scribbles in changing the odd word here and there, I would often wake up finding him hovering over my lyrics book a mug of coffee in hand proofreading them for me.'

He couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past his lips at the dig at Bokuto and Hinata's dislike for books.

'He sound's like a gem! But back to the fact you've met the Black Jackals numbers twenty-one and thirteen. What are they like?"

"I've met them all I know all the Black Jackals, all their school friends too, I met them all after a match against the Cheehle Ekaterinburg, an old friend Morisuke Yaku I knew from my middle school days invited me along, and that was where I met them. Those two boys even though they were bouncing around the court like anything they still had so much energy, I was shocked that anyone could keep up with them, it was like they were children who had just walked out of an all you can eat sweetshop.'

This caused Chloe to giggle. He liked the way Y/n slyly slipped in how they met.

'this Romeo of yours you didn't happen to meet him through your old middle school friend, did you? At this party' Akaashi's eyes widen as the interviewer hit the nail on the head, he was impressed at how Y/n kept her facial expression in check, just the usual smile she used for interviews,

Saturday 5th of December 2015 was the day that Y/n finally returned home. She didn't tell Akaashi she was on her, she knew from Bokuto that they would be at his favourite restaurant that serves his favourite food, Nanohana no Karashiae, in a private room at the back. She drove her car into the car park of the restaurant, taking a deep breath she pulled on her cap and her dark sunglasses as she got out and walked into the restaurant, telling the waiter that she was here for the Bokuto party he nodded and showed her to the door.

'Ah, well it was through mutual friends that we met.' He loved how she deflected the question, not letting them on that it was at the party they met.

He leaned his phone against the pen pot on his desk, leaving the video to play, while he got on with his work, the questions had now turned to make-up and what shampoo she was using.

"Thanks, I'll be fine from here." She knew from the photo that Bokuto had put up on Twitter that Akaashi had his back to the door, purposely done for this exact reason. Pulling off the hat and glasses, she quietly opened the door slipping in and once again quietly shutting it. The room slowly went quiet as eyes suddenly locked on to her figure. Akaashi frowned at his friends, why did everyone stop talking all of a sudden and why Bokuto and Kuroo had whipped out their phones, pointing it at him, till he started to follow their line of sight.

"Happy birthday Romeo." She giggled as he slowly placed her back on the floor, their foreheads resting against one another.

"I'm home, my Romeo." His eyes instantly locked with hers the second he heard her voice, as the smiles so wide crossed their faces as he flew out of his seat wrapping her up in his arms, tightly as if he loosen his grip she would disappear again, he spun her around. He was ecstatic she was home.

Nine months, eleven days, sixteen hours and thirty-eight minutes since the last time he held her in his arms. Since he lasted kissed her. Since he last looked into her beautiful deep e/c eyes.

"You are the best birthday present I could ever ask for." He said as he entwined his fingers into her hair, pulling her into a deep kiss that was long overdue.

©️ All content belongs to lilmissbeanie, do not copy, edit, repost or translate.

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shinyrockalaska · 3 years

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December birthday party

I planned to post it on December 22 but i forgot... Either way, here's a fanfic in honour of Charlie and Rowan's birthdays that are in December.

Summery: Mc and the friends are throwing a birthday party for both Rowan and charlie

Word count: 1.8k

"Listen up, everybody! Charlie's birthday was last week and- I always forget the exact date, but- Rowan's birthday will be soon since it's close to Christmas! We've gotta get going!"

"With what exactly?" Asked Jae. He was always suspicious with whatever plans MC came up with.

"With the surprise party, of course!" They said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We need to decide on a theme, place, time, the people we'll invite, who's in charge of the decorations and cake and snacks.. so pretty much, everything."

"We've still got like, almost a week to prepare everything.." Tonks complained. MC gathered all of them right before bed time and she wanted to go to sleep already.

"Anyone have any ideas for a theme?" MC continued.

"Toads!" Tulip yelled.

"Bowtruckles!" Barnaby chimed in.

"Fashion. It should definitely be about fashion." Andre added.

"Hmm.. cowboys..?" Talbott suggested.

MC did a face-palm and groaned, "no, no, no, you just proposed things you like. We need to think what Charlie and Rowan like!"

"Dragons and books, then," said Penny hesitantly.

"See, that's much better," MC agreed, "maybe dragons and trees? Or just.. fire?"

"It'll be lit!" Tonks snickered.

"Great! So who wants to be in charge of the decorations? It has to be fire themed!" MC continued

"I guess.. me? I'm already experienced, after the celestial ball.."

"I can help," Chiara and Liz said in unison.

"Perfect! Now let's decide on a time and place.. I think we can do it on the 22 of December.. any ideas for a place?"

"The Gryffindor common room," said Jae.

"The duelling club!" Diego added.

"The artefact room.." Ben tried to suggest.

"Seriously, guys! Don't propose places you like! How about the three broomsticks? Then Bill can come too, and we'll have butterbeers."

"Yes! And I can get more sweets from honeydukes," Tulip volunteered.

"Jae, I put you in charge of the cake," MC told him, and he tried to oppose, "why me? Can't Penny do it? Or literally anyone else?"

"After years of detention in the kitchen, I think you'll do great," they winked, remembering their adventure together, when they tried new recipes for Hagrid and Jae turned to be really good at cooking and baking, but made them promise not to tell.

"Fine," he murmured in respond.

"Can we go to sleep now?" Ben asked the question everyone wanted to ask.

"Not yet, we just have to decide on the most important thing.. how and who will keep Charlie and Rowan busy while we prepare everything, and then bring them to the three broomsticks?"

"You? You're the best at stalling, no offense," said Andre.

"I'll take that as a compliment.. alright, everyone knows what they're responsible for?"

"Yes.." they all groaned, wishing to go to sleep already.

"So don't forget.. we're meeting up in the three broomsticks in three days! I won't be there because I'll be with Rowan and Charlie so, Penny, I'm putting you in charge of making sure everything goes as planned, goodnight!"

There was a sound of tired whispers as they all walked back to their dormitories, aside from MC, who went straight to the owlery, to write and send a letter to Bill, asking if he could pass by for Rowan and Charlie's surprise party.

The next three days passed fast and strangely enough, uneventfully, except for that one time Ben almost exposed the plan.

Finally, the 22th of December has arrived, and at 4pm, when the rest of the group got together at the three broomsticks to prepare everything, MC walked with Rowan to meet Charlie at the library.

"You sure I'm the right study partner?" Charlie asked with honesty, "I'm not really good at studying.."

"Nonsense! You're my best friend, of course I'd rather study with you no matter what!"

"I thought I was your best friend?"

"You're THE best friend, Rowan. Everyone else is just my best friends, without THE.."

"Yeah, I'm not sure about that.."

"Anyway.. let's study!" MC shouted, causing Madam Pince to threaten to kick them out. Charlie still didn't felt like studying, he and Rowan exchanged looks, before Rowan spoke up, "But, we don't have any exams? Why would you want to study all of a sudden?"

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."

"Quoting Rowena Ravenclaw won't help you get away without an answer!"

MC stood up, with their hands still on the table, and said, "you know, I just realized I never saw the both of you at the quidditch field... isn't that weird?" MC smiled nervously.

"I watch all of yours and Charlie's and Andre's matchs, what are you talking about?" Rowan tilted their head, the way they always do when they're confused. Which happens frequently around MC.

"But I never saw you together! You have so much to talk about, I mean, Charlie's an expert in quidditch and you're an expert of trees.. don't you want to talk about it?"

"That's a strange topic to discuss.." Charlie mumbled, "and the quidditch field is taken for one of the teams practice right now.."

"But if you insist," Rowan continued, "we can go around and look for broomes.."

"Wha- no! We can't! Because.. I umm.. promised Ben I'll help with that thing uh-"

"We saw him leaving the castle on our way to the library," said Rowan, "he said he's going to buy a new quill."

"Uh, right. I forgot. Do you want to help me pack my bags then?"

"I thought you're staying in Hogwarts for Christmas like always?" Rowan smiled, and MC panicked, what if they somehow know about the party?

"It still shouldn't be messy, and you know how my side of the dorm looks like, hehe.."

"I'm sorry, what's happening?" Charlie had zoned out half of the conversation and was now confused.

"Just MC acting mysterious all over again.." Rowan stared at mc with a suspected look.

"Aren't they always, though?" He shrugged.

"You know me.. the mystery of Hogwarts," MC laughed nervously.

Rowan and Charlie again looked at each other and then at MC, who still giggled.

"Anyway, do you need help packing, Charlie?"

"No, It's fine, I already did! I'm really excited to go back home and see my parents and Ron and Ginny again, and of course Bill! And the best part is I'll get so many presents! Christmas presents and birthday present, what can be better than that?"

"Yeah it's so nice your birthdays are close to Christmas, isn't it?" MC said, finally stopping Rowan's suspicions. "It is!" Rowan cheered, "I get to celebrate both Christmas and my birthday at home in the tree farm with my family! I miss mum and dad and my brother of course! He suppose to go to Hogwarts next year, isn't it exciting??"

"You have a brother? How come you never mentioned it?" Charlie wondered if he somehow missed this piece of information about his friend.

"Yes, and you'll meet him next year, I hope!"

"With your brother, Penny's sister and my brothers we'll have so many younger siblings here next year!"

"It's going to be a challenge," MC snickered, "I mean, we can barley keep them out of trouble now.." They all laughed, because it was true.

"So what time is it?" MC asked when the laughs faded.

"4 and a half.. why? Are we in a hurry?" Rowan asked.

"No no, I just remembered I told Ben- I mean, Penny, I'll meet her at the three broomsticks at 5 so.. hehe.." they chuckled.

"Why don't we just go and wait for her there, huh?" Rowan smiled mischievously, and MC gulped nervously.

"Rowan, you're too smart for this world," they patted them on the back, "let's kill time with a game of gobstons instead, okay?"

"Fine," Rowan finally gave up on trying to discover what MC is hiding from them.

They all walked to the courtyard and played gobstons for a while, just laughing and smiling until their stomach ache.

"Is it 5 already?" MC asked after a while, right before Charlie's turn.

"5 and a half actually," said Rowan, and before they could say anything else MC shouted, "what?! It's been a hour already?!"

"Time does fly when you're having fun.." Charlie mumbled, while thinking what can be the right move.

"We have to go! Now!"

"At least let me finish my turn!" Charlie whined as MC dragged with him and Rowan.

"Why do we even have to come with you to your meeting with Penny?" Rowan asked when they were near honeydukes.

"Well you know.. because.. it's just.. you see-" MC stalled, trying to earn some time while they're getting closer to the pub, "just get inside, alright?"

Rowan glared at them with one last suspection look as Charlie entered the pub without a doubt.

"Surprise!!!"

The friend's usual spot at the three broomsticks was filled with people. Friends, to be accurate. There were two dozens glass of butterbeer on the table, with a diverse selection of coulorful candies. The celling was decorated with paper dragons, flying around, roaring quietly, surrounded by trees, and you could notice some tiny paper books flying around above with brooms on their side, as well.

Rowan looked as if they were about to faint and Charlie was too ecstatic to talk.

"Wha- it's so- I-" Rowan eyes were filled with tears of joy, they never thought they'd have so many caring friends who would want to throw a birthday party just for them.

"This is so cool!" Charlie shouted, "are those dragons?!" He looked at the celling with an excited look.

"Just wait until we get home for Christmas.. mum's going to cry and hug you so much," Bill laughed, "seventeen is the most important age!"

"You can do magic!"

"You can apparate!"

"You're practically an adult!"

Everyone laughed and cheered. Rowan and Charlie were so far from being like all the adults they knew. They didn't changed much from that sweet anxious behavior they had in their first years at Hogwarts.

Bill raised his glass of butterbeer, "to Charlie, the best brother and the greatest quidditch player and the most dragon-excited person we know!" He laughed.

"And to Rowan!" MC snatched the glass of butterbeer out of Bill's hand, and raised it as well, "the best friend anyone could ever have. The loyal, ambitious, kind and smartest person I know!"

"Whooooohoooo!" Tonks applaused and they all drank their butterbeers and started to chat with each other.

Maybe it was the butterbeer, or the heat inside the pub, or maybe it was the fact that all their friends were together with them in one place, just laughing and smiling, happy for their friend's birthdays.

Whatever it was, it made both Charlie and Rowan feel warm inside.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #rowan khanna #charlie weasly #jacob's sibling #hogwarts mystery fanfic #hogwarts mystery fanfiction #birthday #penny haywood #bill weasley #hphm fanfic #hphm fanfiction #hphm fic

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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America & Libi

America: This is gonna sound thirsty as hell cos it is 👌 America: your boyfriend's friend, Sean America: do I have a shot? Libi: 😂 Thirst away, I know he would be SO flattered Libi: Bobby isn't MY boyfriend, but that's by the by and so not why you're in my inbox right now Libi: well, he isn't dating anyone, that I know of, I'll ask Bobby to confirm but I'm like 99% sure Libi: and of course he thinks you're cool, you guys would be a sweet match America: He ISN'T? I thought - never.mind 🤫 America: anywayyy America: did he say I was cool? LOL yeah I really feel it now Libi: Everyone says that, don't worry Libi: we're just best friends Libi: Awh, don't be silly! I'm not going to go tell him word for word Libi: like that's not an exact quote but I know the few times we've hung out all together he's had a good time, specifically hanging out with you America: if you're gay I'm like really sorry for getting your hopes up with my thirsty opener! America: Sean does not deserve that quick of a U-turn from me Libi: Not, so you're totally cool and not on the gay girl shit-list Libi: not for this anyway, I don't know who is, officially Libi: He talked about your party for AGES after Libi: even though that got cut short 😕 did you get in so much trouble? America: The reaction from my sister alone would be reason to do it but I don't think I can commit that hard to you & that idea America: maybe if Sean says no America: I hope he didn't say anything about that part of the party when he was talking about it or I'll have to go crawl in a hole America: or bury my mam's boyfriend in one America: did you get to have any fun? I literally don't remember seeing you when we left your house Libi: Well, she is my biggest fan Libi: who's 💔 is theoretically worse, hers or mine rn? Libi: Just what we were all thinking Libi: which was that we thought that guy might keel over if he didn't 🤐 sooner rather than later Libi: so I'm glad you're already making funeral plans though not because that must suck Libi: no, we had a good time, lost in the crowd seems like the answer America: Jake is the only one with any power to 💖✂ her, don't worry, & she's my biggest fan for pointing out on the regs he's a waste of unblemished skin America: we were making all kinds of plans before she got 🍆💫 America: guess I'm on my own with keeping the good times coming ➜ Libi: 🤨 I'm not sure I've heard him say anything interesting before Libi: It's usually a lot of posing and preening, right Libi: but who am I to judge America: 🤣 I'm on the classroom floor rolling America: neither of them are looking for intellectual stimulation from each other Libi: 😅 Apologies to your teacher Libi: I'll pretend my 😳 is paint America: Miss visibly wants to get me diagnosed with something, it's a long-running thing we have going Libi: Like it makes them any more equipped to deal when they have a name for something Libi: must be a funding issue Libi: but that's a rant for another day 🤓 America: Sean is gonna have his work cut out now America: get your not boyfriend to tell him, game on, but he's in competition with you Libi: I'll go easy on him 😉 Libi: oh, and he is 100% single and 100% tried to read that message so America: misbehaviour puts him back in the 🏃 Libi: Damn Libi: Would helping you have a meet-cute with him bizarrely help my case? America: how cute? sharing in my sister's delusions is a turn off Libi: I don't think he's that kind of guy Libi: BUT it would not be weird for me to bring you along to hang with my not boyfriend and it wouldn't be any weirder if he asked Sean, casually America: which means what I've been thinking about him is right America: & you don't have to be disqualified for trying to drag me into some fake paradise where everyone is in love with themselves Libi: I mean, like all boys Libi: or most, I would be asked to ** in Libi: he talks a bigger game than he has, but I mean that in the best possible way, honestly Libi: he's nicer than he can sometimes sound, you know what I mean? America: me too, I hope Libi: You sound nice Libi: thirst and all America: I scared you away before, couldn't let that happen before I got what I wanted from you Libi: No, that was your mum's fella Libi: I promise Libi: I'm just not a party pro America: that's what I mean, before at your 🏠 I could tell you two were out of your depth Libi: I hope you didn't take it as a personal, you and your party thing though America: it wasn't my party Libi: Sorry, no doubt she'd be 😤 over my lack of distinction there Libi: you know what I mean America: I'm just a guest that she didn't really want there, like you Libi: I don't get the whole sibling thing Libi: only child perk and curse, I guess Libi: but I'm not anti-party or anti-you, for the record Libi: just less initiated America: & I'm not anti-anyone cos Chi is, putting that on the record while we're stating facts Libi: Fair enough 🤝 Libi: I don't take it personally from her, also btw Libi: how she has been about Bobs, moreso but that's not on you so like ❌ America: she acts like she burst out of her crib knowing how to do a smoky eye & what shots she liked best America: you've got time to get initiated if you want to America: & yeah, I know she's a dick about anyone not in her ⬛ of perceived coolness Libi: I've got very little shame in how far away from a smoky eye I was as a kid 😂 Libi: She's not the only one Libi: ⬛ are boring Libi: more boring than I probably seemed that night Libi: 🤞 America: I thought you were just 😍💖 America: that's a lot of people in my life right now though so that's probably why Libi: Oh God, you do not need to tell me Libi: I feel like EVERYONE is suddenly, it's wild America: & now me jumping into your inbox America: what's in the water? Libi: I'm sure the Bio teachers are screaming hormones right now Libi: 😬 gross but true America: Whatever the reason, I didn't mean to contribute to the 💖💣 in your face Libi: You're so beyond fine Libi: not anti-love Libi: or a nun America: you'd be in luck if you were, we aren't calling this love Libi: 😍💖? Libi: Gotcha America: interest America: the 1st I've broadcast Libi: Worth pursuing Libi: I hope I've helped confirm, anyway America: maybe we'll end up just friends like you & Bobby or < America: but I think he's worth pursuing Libi: no harming in 👀 or trying, right America: for the right people Libi: I'll drink to that Libi: not right RIGHT now though because that is paintbrush water and I've made that mistake before 🤢 America: vivid flashbacks to your pre-party drinking face America: shock & disgust Libi: Oh nooooooo 😭 Libi: really sold myself as life of the 🥳 Libi: 😂🙄 America: It wasn't any different for me, if you'd be there to see it Libi: No one is doing it for the taste yet are they Libi: I refuse to believe America: I don't think anyone's doing it for the taste ever America: wine or whiskey snobs only wanna show off America: & that's grown adults Libi: My granddad would be so offended 😅 America: If he wants to try & change my mind, I'll come over Libi: Sounds fun Libi: but also like a potential way for him to lose his license so maybe we'll keep it between us America: Why can't he use his words without bringing the 🍷🥃? America: it's like those people who are all about how 🌶🌶🌶 or rare something is America: you wish you were 💪 we understand Libi: I didn't know you just wanted a debate but that's cool too Libi: come over any time, like America: it's off the table at my house America: he'll start blowing a whistle & stop all verbal communication soon America: not a nun either so I assume I won't be into it Libi: Yikes, he should try getting a 🐶 or two Libi: even then, probably be disappointed, soz America: I'll pitch the idea as long as it ends in disappointment Libi: if he doesn't love puppies you know he's not the one America: I know that about him already America: What's Sean's stance? Libi: Good question Libi: I shall 💬 America: don't lie to score points yourself, I'll find out Libi: [so many dog pictures which clearly aren't just her and Killer but her and Twix and Bobby too] Libi: ➕ America: OMG Libi: Yeah 😎 Libi: they're old ladies now but they were puppies once [a throwback we just have] America: Miss is gonna live for this U-turn from 🤣 to 🥺 America: name that personality disorder, bitch Libi: Looking like a poor taste budget horror Libi: LOVE that America: get my good side with that 📹 of yours Libi: but every personality Libi: Got this 🎬 America: every personality's best bits Libi: I wish I could fix everything in post Libi: life would be so ✨ America: edit out Gary America: make Chi less of a cow America: make my other sister reappear Libi: So wild to me how your sister used to be 'round my grandma's at the same time I was and I really can only just remember those days Libi: what is she up to now? America: 😍💖 Libi: Ah Libi: of course Libi: like everyone else in the world America: but you know, with a rented flat & office job Libi: The grown-ups version Libi: I feel you America: I don't know what the fuck we're calling what my mam is playing at America: but yeah, give my sister more grown up points than that Libi: How long has he been on the scene, Gary? America: too long LOL America: but that'd be 1 date in his case Libi: I can't imagine how awkward that must be when it's your mum and your house Libi: it's bad enough when a friend or an auntie or something dates a dickhead America: she's dated fuckwits for as long as she's dated America: but they don't usually see a month in Libi: I'll 🤞 he's gone sooner rather than later America: Thanks Libi: You're okay, right? Libi: That might be weird to ask America: I guarantee it's weirder to answer Libi: You don't have to, that was out of line Libi: but if you wanted to, I wanted to give you the chance, even though all I can do is listen Libi: but we can as easily leave it America: I'm 👌 in the sense that he's probably not gonna murder us all in our beds Libi: That's always something America: but if your grandad decides to leave your nan, I'm down to move in & have nightly debates Libi: It's been nearly 60 years so Libi: he's either overdue or change or you're out of luck Libi: but you're still invited to come crash when you need America: unless Sean makes me a better offer, you win Libi: Of course, of course America: unlikely, I can't really open with please rescue me Libi: Might be a bit strong Libi: but the spare room doesn't come with any of those connotations America: Can I have the dog too? Libi: She'll have to decide for herself, it would be rude for me to Libi: but she's pretty chill as long as you give her treats or attention so it's likely America: What's her name? Libi: Killer Libi: I did not name her America: 😶 I don't really get to say anyone's got a shit name anyway Libi: What's in a name, the English teachers will chime in America: music teacher would probably say a lot Libi: **harmonize it, please America: [does as if we're not fully in class rn] Libi: Brava! 👏 Libi: so much better than whatever 'painting' I've managed this lesson, whoops America: that'll be my L to take for not shutting up America: sorry to your 🎨 Libi: We'll all survive, even if this not-masterpiece does not 🗑 Libi: painting is not my thing anyway America: I never got prime fridge real estate America: as an only child, you would Libi: Only child, technically, but my grandparents have ALL the grandkids, so it didn't always work out like that America: my nan has the same favourite as my mam so 🤷 America: consistency 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't need 3 guesses Libi: why is it Libi: is she most like them or what America: 👼 America: blue eyed, blonde haired fucking wonder America: my entire family IS that shallow Libi: Well I can say blue eyes are overrated and you can say blonde hair is America: skipping over the 🚩 of taking German when my family are basically neo-Nazis Libi: will have to get you out of my DMs stealth if that one rings true Libi: no negotiating America: I don't want to do the cliché plea of how different I am but like, in this instance, it holds up Libi: I'll hear it America: how does a girl prove she's not a Nazi around here? 💭 Libi: 😂 Can you prove/disprove a negative is a big 💭 Libi: too big for before lunch, I think America: Gary's existence proves a negative Libi: 📢🔥 Libi: He felt that America: 💖✂ Libi: If that's the order of the day, I'm not mad Libi: have played cupid once here so America: What about you? Libi: What about me? America: There's absolutely no 😍💖? Libi: Oh, nah Libi: not right now 🤷 America: Then you probably can't answer my kissing questions America: I think that practising on my hand has to be movie propaganda but pretending it'll be perfect & I won't 🤤 all over anyone has to be too Libi: I could try Libi: I've had some but maybe not recently enough to experience counts? America: this close to picking up a 🎸 & opening the floor for them but my sister would KILL me Libi: and Miss would fully be staging an intervention before you could get any decent ones America: even though she's literally a teacher & I'm asking to be taught something Libi: The hypocrisy 😏 Libi: I think the less you think about it the easier it is Libi: which is such non-advice I know America: 👌 have a drink & just do it Libi: lowkey, yeah Libi: nerves never help a performance, right Libi: sure your teacher would have to agree on that one America: Did I agree to putting on a show for him? 👌 I see how it is Libi: 😲 Libi: not what I meant America: No? Libi: I mean, do what you wanna Libi: but not sure he warrants that much effort yet America: 🤣 America: I hope he didn't feel that 💖✂ Libi: It's not shade so it's okay Libi: I covered that he's nice before I went there 🙃 America: Did he go out with Michelle? Libi: Our sources say yes Libi: couple of months America: A couple of months seriously or casually? You were there Libi: I think he thought it was more serious than it was Libi: but I don't think he's looking for that America: & they're 100% over, no hang ups Libi: Totally America: cos she seems cool, I'm not trying to start something Libi: She's chill Libi: he's a free agent Libi: and he's interested too, for sure America: the interrogation can stop 🎊🎉 it's not making me look very chill Libi: I'll never tell Libi: plus you've distracted me from a boring lesson so it's okay Libi: a favour, really America: I can tell you're an only child America: my sisters would use anything I said or did or almost said or did against me if they can Libi: Damn, should I be keeping these in my backpocket? America: realistically Libi: SO bad at this Libi: I'm a slightly better friend 🤞 America: Being somewhere in the middle of a total dick & and a good friend, I'm not the right person to help you get better at either America: partying though America: if you ever want Libi: It would be useful Libi: not gonna lie Libi: as you got what you wanted, like America: I'll knock for you Libi: 👍 Bobby can come too, right? America: yeah, he can join in too America: I won't insist that he kisses me but pitch the idea Libi: I'll 🏏 America: There's always something going on, even with my house being not enough like a morgue but simultaneously too much like a morgue Libi: Halloween isn't the only time for costume parties 👻🧛👽🤖 America: I knew I fucked with you Libi: 😏 Libi: people who think costume parties suck have 0 imagination America: or only wanna look a certain way Libi: that too Libi: heaven forbid you have fun and don't just sit there 😘 America: if Chi didn't feel that, I'll be the one 💖✂ Libi: you can always say it yourself and take credit Libi: on me America: ghost writer, there's a costume in that America: she doesn't just sit there honestly, but it's not about having fun, she'll do fucking anything but it's to keep everyone looking at her Libi: I guess that accounts for some of it Libi: Middle child syndrome is a costume too Libi: if a little abstract America: Favourite child too, but she's got too much wear out of that one as is Libi: No repeats America: worse crimes have been committed than tiara recycling Libi: Maybe Libi: but it's close America: you've got jokes America: I don't think you really need me to teach you anything to be fun at 🥳 America: I predict some kind of 📹 prank is about to happen to me Libi: If youtube pranks are still fun and cool, I'm gonna have to ❌ that because yikes Libi: I just, there's a lot of it that everyone else does that I don't see the point to Libi: for me, anyway America: You don't have to do things that everyone else is doing Libi: Technically Libi: I don't think everyone else is the PSA enabler friend/peer pressure pusher or anything Libi: but it does other you if you don't join in, to a degree, with a lot of it America: 👌 so when we get to your limit, stop me Libi: Okay Libi: but don't go easy just because this all makes me sound about 7 America: Miss wouldn't have oppositional defiant disorder on her diagnosis checklist if I went easy on anyone Libi: 😂 Libi: She's really gone through psychology today yeah America: she's clearly so bored America: & wishing she had talent to scout America: I literally can't have that cos I don't see teachers as authority figures in the first place Libi: Delusions of grandeur ✔ for her America: 🤣 America: sorry you can't control me bitch, call Gary & compare notes Libi: Maybe Gary should bring in his CV America: we'd both love to see more of each other Libi: Of course Libi: and he's the ideal candidate for hapless teacher #46 who can't control their class America: if he ended up 🤯 my mam would 😍😗 the little neck stump America: she's that far gone Libi: Again, I only have experience by-proxy Libi: but that usually ends up 🤯 everything else Libi: so I 👂 America: You heard right in my experience America: my da's got enough left of him to sign a cheque, I picture him like that Adam's family hand Libi: [does the clicks in a boomerang type thing] America: nailed it! Libi: You know Libi: didn't want to be the girl who makes everything about her dead parents Libi: but arguably I'm the proof of everything going 🤯 so I do know a little bit about it America: Shit sorry! I forgot Libi: Don't be Libi: it's good it's not like, forefront of the facts you can recall on me, if anything America: I know what you mean, from a family of attention seeking whores isn't how I like to advertise myself Libi: I'm sure I could make a claim for that title too according to the masses Libi: but neither of us need to 📢 America: send my apologies to Sean if that's what he was expecting America: I do need attention but it doesn't have to be sexual specifically, as Miss can testify Libi: I should HOPE she can America: She plays hard to get, for all her therapizing Libi: She in the 🏃? America: only in the fantasy land she's created Libi: Bless her Libi: any way to kill the day is this place's motto, I think America: 🎼 school song if I do some more harmonising 🎹 Libi: 🌹👏 America: Due credit to you & your ideas America: I couldn't be happier it's not a 😍💖 song Libi: Likewise Libi: so it's worth it and you're welcome Libi: I can give Sean your number, I presume? America: & any screenshots you've taken as mean girl practice Libi: Only the worst bits, obvs Libi: 😘 America: my ugliest sides 👺👺 America: Still not a nazi btw, I just realised the 👃 and brows are a bit anti-Jewish propaganda Libi: 🤔 What if you realizing that is racist though? Libi: conundrum America: well fuck Libi: Hypothetically though Libi: goes a bit beyond mean girl territory to accuse you of racism/fascism America: slightly yeah Libi: thus I would NEVER Libi: 😎 only America: you've seen Gary so you know my hatred isn't rooted in anything racist there America: 🎊🎉 Libi: Can back you up there Libi: nothing but warranted and fair America: Thanks Libi: Has he 💬 yet or is he playing it cool? America: Cool or his teacher is a dick 📴 America: hopefully he's not in a lesson with my sister, that'll turn him off Libi: Not ideal Libi: She's probably changed all her classes to match Jake's, right? America: 🤮 Libi: Too real America: the upside of Gary's regime is that I don't have to see Jake at my house on the regs Libi: Upside? Libi: That's the WHOLE appeal America: 👏 You're not one of the 'everybody' Chi thinks is obsessed with him 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't even know him, in reality Libi: so I probably shouldn't 💬 on him but the only times I've heard him speaking he's been being dismissive or rude so Libi: meh America: Nobody knows him in reality, they live a bubble 🏰👑 America: but when you party, you'll get to know him America: what a fuckwit he happily presents himself as Libi: 😰 Libi: as long as that's in the bottom 3 of the experience, not top, then it won't put me off the 🥳 as a whole America: don't worry, you're too pretty to have to hear the full 💯 Libi: ❓❓❓ America: I just mean, he'll frame it like a compliment for you, so it'll be easier to take or brush off Libi: Compliments don't mean much when they come from an arsehole Libi: 🤷 America: I know Chi didn't feel that Libi: We've all got our taste, I guess Libi: or lackthereof Libi: I'm making myself sound more and more like a nun by the minute America: Not gonna insist that you prove you're not Libi: 🤞 it'll become clear Libi: obvious lack of habit aside America: Excellent wordplay Libi: Do my best Libi: though as it's art, not english, probably not appreciated by anyone but you rn America: Graffiti is words a lot of the time & that's art Libi: That's a good point Libi: I'll have to see if he goes for it America: Good luck Libi: Do you like high school so far? America: maybe that's supposed to be a weirder question than if I'm okay, but I lowkey do like it Libi: Me too 🙃 Libi: Primary was really boring by the end America: I thought everyone would treat me like a giant baby but I've made so many cool older friends already America: & I refuse to give my sister credit for them ALL Libi: Yeah, I thought the same thing Libi: apart from the usual dickheads being like that to everyone whatever the reason, everyone's been pretty chill Libi: and it's nice that we have SOME say over what we take now, instead of just doing a bit of everything America: My even older sister, from your flashbacks, made this place seem really different America: in a bad way Libi: SAME Libi: not your older sister, that would be random Libi: my aunties and stuff made it sound like literal HELL though America: She is a LOL random type, honestly, I'd believe it Libi: 😂 Libi: No DM slides from either sister, we're 👌 America: that'll happen when she finds out you pimped me to Sean Libi: 😬 Libi: well when you put it like THAT America: jk she hasn't threatened anyone on my behalf since everyone was over my OUTRAGEOUS lies about who my da was & I got doxxed to prove how 🥱 he is America: Primary really did get boring by the end Libi: Like I said, no imagination America: what was your favourite lie of mine? Everyone's got one Libi: 🤔 Libi: Long haul lorry driver Libi: because it seemed the most realistic so everyone thought that one was true America: I tripped myself up when I added he witnessed that 🚽 murder Libi: Right Libi: and then suddenly it was all along route 66 Libi: 👎 America: it was a better naming story than my mam's real reasons, I stand by that Libi: Was she a big traveller or wishes she was? America: this would be the PERFECT time for an elaborate lie Libi: Feel free America: you're expecting it now Libi: Suppose that does take away most of the fun Libi: Everyone thought I made up all the stuff about my parents too America: Why didn't you? Libi: That's the thing, probably would've been more comfortable for everyone if I did, honestly Libi: guess the details made it seem unbelievable enough but it just didn't cross my mind, really Libi: I was just wanting to 💬 about them all the time when I was little America: I remember that! Not saying you inspired me to become a pathological liar with how cool it all sounded though America: I probably wouldn't even if Chi hadn't be so mad you gatecrashed her birthday party Libi: 😏 See, can't say I couldn't hang America: she'll still try to but she's said worse Libi: To be expected America: like a text from Sean Libi: Let's not get it twisted though Libi: not excited for it America: 😐 is me Libi: What emoji can I be/ America: 🥳 when I'm done with you, bitch Libi: 😂 I accept America: ask your not boyfriend when he's down & slide into my dms Libi: I will Libi: You can hit up Sean and ask him when he hits you up, finally Libi: I think he's gonna hit you up just after lunch Libi: to show he's casual America: 🐁🐈 America: I'll resist the urge to throw myself at him before then America: to show I understand how this all works Libi: Very mature Libi: or actually, not, but we have to get down to boy's levels America: he's about at our level right now, I think that's how the age gap works Libi: That's fair Libi: there's a lot of lads who still think we're diseased or are more interested in whatever game they are rn America: yeah, I don't know how much he knew about me before we met but there's no escaping that we only just got here America: an age based lie isn't happening Libi: No, that's not working Libi: I don't think you need to lie though Libi: he clearly wants to get to know you more too or I'd be awkwardly letting you down right now, right America: unless you're either too nice to do it or mean enough to want to see me make a twat of myself Libi: 🧐 Libi: Have to see, but I am neither, for the record America: catch me on the rebound 🕷🕸 Libi: All part of the plan America: I'll partner up with you in PE, give you a chance to make your move America: the seating plan'll fuck you over for the rest America: really would look like a nazi if I force Bekah to give up her seat for me like I'm your new BFFL America: 💖💣 Libi: Maybe we don't bring up the 2nd N word around her, like Libi: otherwise she's gonna be cool America: 👌 I'll 🤫 America: no casual German dropped into the conversation Libi: You wanna sit next to each other in German though Libi: the boy I sat next to is 🥱😴 America: The boy I sit next to did fall asleep recently so yeah America: I need to know if I'm 🥱 or he's 😴 & it's not about me Libi: 👋 It's a date Libi: 😘 jk America: they do like it when we roleplay America: 💐🕯🍷

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aqueeraphale · 5 years

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All right Ghost and Pals fans I've got a Honey I'm Home theory:

The moth represents Norman's mother, and the song as a whole is a metaphor for being abused by religion.

Let me explain:

[This post contains discussion of religion/cults, abuse, insects, and human torture/experimentation]

Ghost said straight up that there's five new OCs in Honey I'm Home right? Exactly five. It's emphasized a lot.

[Image ID: a screenshot from the description of Ghost's upload of Honey I'm Home that reads: "y'all get FIVE - not one, not two, not three, not four, not six, not forty-seven, but FIVE new ocs of mine so there's that". End ID]

That's *incredibly* specific, but it checks out. Mostly. Visually, there's five characters: Norman, their father the mantis, the moth, weird Redead god, Charon the spider, and the angel(s) we see a flash of in the outro instrumental. There's a sixth character mentioned in passing, though: Norman's mother. "The abandonment of scenery in the mind of mother," yeah? But that's such a minor reference, you're probably thinking. It's symbolic parallelism to the mentions of father in the first verse.

That's entirely possible, but with how deep Ghost's songs run I think it's more than that.

We can obviously say that Norman's mother isn't Norman, Norman's father, God, or Charon (seeing as Ghost confirms in the description that it's meant to be pronounced like the guy on the River Styx). Originally, I assumed that the disturbed angel we see in the end of the video was Mother, because of the parallel between the two "abandonment of scenery" lines (conflating Mother with the rearview mirror, ie the past). It would make sense, given the implied abusive situation Norman was in with his father, that his mother had passed, leaving him with no recourse or protection. The fact that the parallel to the rearview mirror is the **mind** of mother, though, is what throws a wrench in that.

On my first dozen or so watches I thought the moth was a corrupted symbol of Lucifer (the lightbringer as a creature that chases light regardless of consequence), like I read Charon as a corrupted symbol of Judas (instead of subtle and regretful betrayal with a kiss on the cheek, direct and presumably unrepentant sabotage with a kiss on the mouth). It makes sense with how a lot of interpretations of sympathetic Lucifer read: saying the exact same things as God, but demanding that right to be equal instead of paternalistic. Then I took a closer look at the visual symbolism:

[Image ID: a screenshot of Honey I'm Home's pv: a moth entrapped in a spider's web. It's quoted as saying "So, come to me, we can change night into day." End ID]

Lo and behold, spiderwebs. I actually can't believe I missed that on my first few watches--from the moment we meet the moth, it's entangled in webs, as if it's trapped in the influence of Charon, our dear God-allied spider. Its exact words are echoed by God in the next verse, where he has the moth trapped. With how we see Charon and God allied, this paints the moth in a new light--it doesn't have agency, or at least not total agency. It is, at least in part, parroting what God has taught it.

The thing is, a spider doesn't force webs on you. You walk into them and get tangled. Moths chase lights, like God's solar-eclipse halo. In just the same way, people chase security and safety as a survival method, and scores of people turn to religion when they need spiritual security.

This is where Norman and his family come in. Picture this: you're stuck in a tense, harmful relationship, with someone who has the audacity to tell your child that the world "isn't for them," who feels the need to cut off your rapport to them (the umbilical cord is a link between child and mother, after all). When you look for help, there the church is, and you inch a little closer to the light, and a little closer--

And then you're ensnared, so much so the horrors of your memories are little more than scenery in your rearview mirror. It's wonderful enough you repeat your doctrine to everyone who listens, even if you don't fully analyze what it all means. It helped you after all, so why can't it help others?

There's even visual confirmation that the moth is an intrinsic part of Norman:

[Image IDs: three seperate screenshots of Honey I'm Home's PV. One shows Norman normally, one shows Norman with his chest sliced open for vivisection, and one shows Norman in a different outfit with scars from where he was cut open. All three images feature prominent patterns of concentric circles of moth wings. End ID]

We see Norman prominently surrounded by moth wings, even after he's been vivisected and transformed. Nearly everything what visually significant about Norman changes: he's gained a halo, lost his bandages and any scars that were underneath, is showing way more skin, and has black scleras and no glasses. His posture is even inverted--in each shot he's lifting a different hand, and the early Norman is confident or vindictive while the second is meek or remorseful. And yet, the moth wings remain. They're in *identical* places in the two shots that have Norman at the center of the frame. The moth is a part of Norman, even after God's scooped him out.

Also worth noting is that Norman's transformation makes him more visually similar not to the angels, but to God himself.

[Image ID: God as he appears in the Honey I'm Home pv. He is a gaunt figure with an eerie grin and dark circles instead of eyes. Black lines run down his cheeks like tears, and he wears loose, flowing robes that expose one shoulder. End ID]

[Image ID: the angel from the Honey I'm Home pv. They have the same dark eyes and tear lines as God and Norman post-transformation, but they instead wear a tight turtleneck. End ID]

Everyone allied with God, and Norman after his transformation--they all have the same eyes, with black scleras. Everyone except Charon has tear tracks. But Norman dresses like God more than anyone else-- his outfit appears to be made of the same material, and also exposes skin.

One last note before I tie this all together: vivisection is an INCREDIBLY loaded word. Scientifically, it's the act of making a v-shaped cut through a living organism's torso to view its innards--think a dissection on something living or a highly invasive biopsy. But just Google the word, and the connotation becomes immediately apparent: vivisection, as a term, is chiefly used in biomedical trials on animals...or to refer to illegal organ harvesting and medical torture in humans. The word is specifically used when referring to several different kinds of unethical human experimentation, which I'm not going to go into because I would rather not be triggered this late at night. Needless to say, Norman is straight up not having a good time with whatever's been done to him, even if you ignore the shot of post-vivisection Norman looking something awful.

So what does this all mean? Literally, we see the tale of a boy running from an abusive home life into the arms of a God and a spider who transform him for their own purposes against his will. Metaphorically, it's how many religious organizations and cults treat the disenfranchised. They lure victims in with promises of safety and light that are impossible or too good to be true. But if a person is desperate enough for help, they can be made to believe anything--that your abusive father can be knocked aside with enough prayer, that your God can turn night into day. A normal church gives you shelter and lets you out at your leisure. An abusive church or a cult blackmails you into staying, by threatening your eternal soul, or your possessions, or by giving you the kiss of death from a poisonous spider named after the man who ferries you to Hades. So, if you're trapped, you stay, and cave to more and more demands, until you're hollowed out and made into the image of what they want you to be. And many people extracting themselves from this kind of abuse report gaslighting--that they were convinced by their spiritual leader that the world was against them, and that the only place it's safe to be is in the fold, away from the world and from retaliation by the people who say they love you. It's just that much easier to be drawn in if you're following in your family's footsteps.

I can't wait for the next song in this series, solely because of the angel we see at the end. They're clearly aware enough to be disturbed by what they're seeing--there's a good chance we'll see the other side of the coin, of how terrifying God and Charon can be.

But when it comes down to it, everything Norman does makes perfect sense. He looks for sanctuary, and he finds it. From his point of view, it probably didn't seem like that big of a sacrifice just to have somewhere he could call home. A twisted home it may be, but it's a home.

#ghost #ghost and pals #honey I'm home #norman minecraft #what tags do y'all use!! i want you to see this!!!#lowkey i wish i could send this to my old genre studies professor #he'd love it #meta #kelley.txt #this is the best post I've ever written #religion //#abuse //#surgery //#ask to tag #human experimentation //#torture //#long post

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thisnerdsadventures · 3 years

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a 2021 update

Ah, so I have forgotten to update in a million years, per usual

~ Random thought section ~

I woke up this morning and read this tweet thread about Alice Wu's director's note for her movie The Half of It. It's streaming on Netflix, and I highly encourage to go watch it, it's probably one of my favorite movies from the past few years. Anyways, she talks about how she produced the film while digesting the heartbreak of a friendship breakup - the whole thread hit me on a different level, but here's a quote that really hit home for me, especially a month from graduation: "The end of the film is each of their beginnings. And for my characters, I can think of no happier ending." We spend a lot of time worrying about the end of things and the uncertainty of things to come. Yet, there was a time where we worried about the exact same things for the very chapter we are now so nervous about leaving.

1. I'm nervous about leaving school and starting the..... rest of my life???

2. I'm nervous that my friends will slowly fade away. I'm nervous that they'll get on with their lives and I'll be slowly still trying to get my bearings, stuck in limbo.

3. I'm nervous that starting adulthood will be difficult because there are no more college orientations, no more awkward freshman dinners, perfect opportunities to meet new friends who are just as nervous as you are.

In writing this out, I felt a sense of deja-vu, like I had written these words before. So I just looked back at some of my posts right before entering college, and lo and behold:

08-18-2016: Today I said goodbye to one of my closer friends, and i realized that without even knowing it, Sunday’s party was the last time I would see some of my closest friends. It’s awful that way, that you don’t even know it’s the last time until it’s passed, and you’re left to pick up the the end of a chapter of a relationship from the scraps of an unexpected and improper farewell.

I feel like I’m in a weird twilight zone between college and high school where my present friends are all beginning to fade away to move on in their lives, and I’m yet to really meet anyone in my class yet, so at the moment,,,,,,there really isn’t anyone.

I wrote this less than a week from moving to Boston, and it's so shocking to me that I also experienced the "unexpected and improper farewell" part in senior year. It's almost the exact same thing that happened in COVID and is continuing to happen. You never know when the last time you might see someone might be, except instead of consolidated over the course of one pre-college summer, it's over the course of more than a year, the time that this pandemic has been going for.

And I hate that I said the "fade away and move on" thing verbatim, literally nearly five years ago. To be honest though, it's true, a lot of them did fade away and move on. But so did I, I wasn't left behind. To some extent, I was the one who did a lot of the moving away. And like many things in life, a couple of us continue to hang around, and maybe our friendships cycled in and out over college, but have come around again after a few years. I guess those are the ones that you know will stick around. The limbo period between chapters is a hard one, and it's nice to know that present-day me isn't the only one who has felt this. It's nice to know that past me met so many incredible people so fast, that I forgot this limbo period happened.

I know this part is getting a little long, but there's just a couple more snippets I want to share:

08-13-2016: I recently read Marina Keegan’s essay The Opposite of Loneliness, and one line resonated with me a lot: We’re so young. It seems silly and almost pretentious for me to think that this party would be so final, and yet it does, even though we have decades upon decades to build and connect or reconnect.

We’re so young, but that doesn’t stop the understanding that we are going to a new chapter in our lives and that it’s going to redefine our relationships. I hope it doesn’t change them too much.

I suppose much of the anxiety of going to college results from having to build my own community from the ground up again.... I tell myself the pieces will fall together and everything will be ok, but it doesn’t stop the increasing anxiety from, well, increasing.

I loved this collection of essays, if you haven't read it, I recommend you do. In moving around for so many years, I haven't been able to keep a lot of books in my possession, but I kept this one because that essay really hit home for me, and continues to, no matter what part of life I'm currently experiencing.

I think moving to college did change my relationships. But change is not a bad thing - your childhood friendships, the few of them that survive, end up strengthening and growing into adult friendships. And in the end, isn't that better than not changing at all? I'm hoping that a few of my college friendships will do that too - we'll go from college friends to family friends, and my kids will call them "Aunt" and "Uncle" and they'll grow up watching their parents talk for hours in the front yard before finally getting in the car and leaving for home.

08-13-2016: But hey, this is part of what I signed up for, I knew I wasn’t going to have much of an initial safety net, but I’m sure I’ll survive. We, as humans, always find a way to adapt right?

I think I survived and adapted. Not in the way I saw things going, but we can never really fully predict things, can we? One day, I'll learn to give myself a safety net for the next chapter, I'm sure. Today's not that day though.

Going back to her director's note, there was one more thing that just struck an emotional chord for me:

Fun fact, Alice Wu actually went to MIT for a bit before transferring to Stanford, and then she became a software engineer at Microsoft! I relate a little too much to her. Maybe one day I too will dump coding for my art form. But for now, in this above example, I relate far too much. I worked on my album, Imperfect, a little too obsessively this past winter while trying to digest the throes of heartbreak from one of my own friendships that ended. I still don't know if there was an ending for that friendship. I think I've spent a lot of time trying to put off the end, like a TV series that just keeps adding more and more seasons. Regardless of whether it needs to end or not (which I have not decided and will continue not to do so), I spent a lot of time thinking about who I was before and after that friendship, and I've concluded that a lot of who I am now, what my life looks like now is a result of that friendship. I'll give you a hint: I really like who I am now, compared to who I was before, and it showed me a lot of parts of life and friendship that I never expected would happen. That friendship was (is?) one of the most beautiful things that has happened to me in my life.

Let's finish off this reflective post with a quote from Khalil Gibran, that's kinda related to that point about how transformative the past can be, and how we're far better off in future chapters of our lives because of it.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

Again, if you haven't read his collection of poems, you should absolutely 100% drop whatever you're doing right now and do so! Wow, I really just assigned an entire reading list in this post.

I hope in making this movie, Alice found peace. I would hesitate to say that I found peace when making my album. I wrote a lot of songs about the heartbreak I felt from that whole experience. But the last song I wrote, "Best Friends," ends the whole thing on a positive note, that at the end of the day, I remember how my friends (past and present) literally saved my life and how things are looking a little better, and whatever happens, I hope my best friends will be there waiting for me, whoever they end up being.

- OK I PROMISE I DIDN'T SET OUT TO BE 100% SO EMO -

But yeah, I haven't really been doing much otherwise? I guess just tryna stay alive, I've been cooking a lot and cooking a lot of good good food, I did apply to an MBA program, I got my COVID vaccine (second shot this week!), I am excited to announce I am publishing a paper in my MEng lab, which is a really big accomplishment imo, I am thriving in my (1) econ class that I kept, even though I didn't realize we had readings assigned like for the past month, I went to try pastries from this Turkish bakery, I biked, probably, 15 miles over the past month, I've read at least 4 or 5 books this year so far, and am hoping to knock another one out today. Currently dying because trying to finish my thesis in like . a week, which is looking a little challenging, but I'm sure it'll happen!!!??

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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A post shared by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on May 26, 2020 at 10:01pm PDT

instagram

One of my new passions

This latest with one cop on a niggas neck and one on his lungs and another on his legs while he was handcuffed.

Has me black out murderous rage against all 4 cops present.

I wish our society felt safe enough to attack racist bigots that abuse their power to murder for no cause.

Had those people standing around been able to attack those police and save that man... I don't blame them. I feel sorry for the sight they saw. But I know I would have.

I wish more people had the courage to be crazy like me and do what it takes to save a life.

As i said i don't blame them, many times I haven't been brave as i wanted to be.

I'm thankful they were courageous enough to video this way justice can be served. I read one person did talk back and advocate.

I wish we had the mob mentality to save his life.

Tree informs me the one standing to the side kept calling for backup to help the victim.

Tree does inform me the victim whom died was indeed an ass hole whom I would have killed myself but I would also have killed all three cops.

Thus it's a racist and crime of hypocrisy from those cops... What it was is they were all working together and they had the store call when he was in Just to kill him. As I suspected it was full blown murder. Nothing less.

Tree says they were all laundering drug money together. The 4 police.

The one holding the legs and the one standing alone didn't really want to kill their accomplice. The one standing realize he would be next and so he tried to stop the death of the victim. Tree informs me.

That is all the information tree says we need to know.

I feel if it's an off duty job they should done it without their uniforms. But they chose to represent the Minneapolis, Minnesota police as white men and kill a topless black man in handcuffs while completely defenseless against whom he thought was his friends.

Tree says "to prove they were tough"

I think it's more than that. I think they were trying to prove black lives do not matter and they wanted to prove that all people, no matter their color but most especially African American, are powerless and they have all the power. And theyre invincible. Its far beyond being tough, it's being Godly.

And tree and i spoke about how the man was shirtless and while i couldn't see much of his body due to the car, it looked like he did work out and was buff. And as Tree points out as i did see as well "it took four of them to take that strong black man down" "So it didn't prove they were tough but weak and surly not godly but pompous asses wearing the orange style masks." Says tree and i quote exactly

It makes me angry. I would screamed that at them. How weak they were. As a young person I would pulled them off and fought them.

I feel so much rage, I probably would now.. They would be lying there bleeding and I would look around and go "huh. Oh. Look what I did" then walk away quietly as they lied to themselves it didn't happen that some fst broken hearted lady with bad hips and back whom can barely walk knocked them all out in less than 30 seconds and didn't even really notice she did.

The purse i have today is small but it is an elegant and nicely built hard sided purse. If I was there i would hit them in the head at least 90 mph and knocked them the fuck out and caused internal bleeding like I did Denise then kicked them to cause it to burst all in less than 30 seconds. My body in auto mode and i would feel nothing. No pain. Only strength from God in heaven. And my parents, that are true angels would protect me from danger. So i could walk away free and clear without a broken purse.

It only takes one person. Not a mob mentality. But I wish we had that. I wish we all had that goodness from God that causes us to black out with rage against injustice.

I know tree tells me the victim was Zulululu and y'all know i hate them. But it isn't the point. The point wad the actions of the police.

Now take the same 4 people. The black guy and the 3 white guys in an alley all in sweat pants and wife beaters and tattoos. I wouldn't care. Because it would represent their relationships. They were all co-conspirators in money laundering and in cahoots to be in a friendship, all 5 of them regardless of color.

Putting on their uniforms changed all of that.

When I'm meeting with kidnappers. Money laundering. Murderers. Usually I am the only girl. The only Madame. The only Mob Boss Type that is female.

So apply gender to color... Im just one of the guys. Im not there to have sex or be raped. Usually they try but usually one of the others get jealous or i have a real protector to stop it from happening.

So apply color to gender. I'm just one of the guys. The victim of African American decent is no different than the ones of European. If one of the guys tries to kill me then they do and i can fight back. Same with color. If 3 white guys pounce a black guy he has the right to fight back

It is about context.

As a girl if i try to kill one of the guys they have a right to fight back

If an African American tried to kill an European American like myself the European has a right to fight back

But making it a cop vs criminal when the cops are criminals as well becomes a totally different scenario.

If I saw 5 Zulululu all standing in the alley and they are marked (these were not and wouldn't be as they are non violent [or were] and were just drug dealing and not human trafficking) and 1 was black and 2 was Asian and 2 were white, i would kill them all equally. The same exact 5 guys in any clothes including police uniform marked for kidnapping or rape. I would killed them all equally.

However in this situation that did actually occur. I would have saved the black man. Because of presentation.

Doesn't matter he's Zulululu. Or he laundered money. Its the presentation of 3 white cops killing one black man.

I see people. Bodies. I dont see alien race.

I see race of human skin and cultural differences and abuse of power.

So I would have saved the victim despite who he was.

Now May be I would found out after he was a human trafficker and if he was released at home, I would then go murder him in cold blood myself after saving him. IF that was the situation and i found out the TRUTH after wards. I would realized i made a mistake

If the media made a fuss, i would admit to it.

As part of the CIA and part of a Pentagon task force by default, I am allowed to do such things. Legally. As a military operation.

So, I'm not speaking as a private citizen. Or just a regular random person.

I'm not speaking as a police officer -- it is Illegal for police to do such a thing.

But as part of the military I am allowed

My mortgage company doesn't require me to pay my mortgage because i am listed as a MIA/POW. Location unknown.

Which means i have military status. As part of the military and as a counter head in the CIA.

MIA is missing in action due to amnesia and my physical handicap and disabilities like walking and standing.

POW is prisoner of war. As you all noted on the T.V. and here the aliens are trying to play "capture the queen" which is me. And currently Nathaniel and Denise have me as a POW.

Location unknown. Means they don't know my ability to focus or what I can do. What Alice in Wonderland Rabbit Hole I'll pop out next.

So i don't pay the mortgage. The mortgage says its okay. We will hold onto it. When the military and government can find you and save you, they will give you money you can pay.

Because as a MIA/POW. Location unknown. I do not receive a paycheck. So, the mortgage company understands that when i am found then there will be a large sum of payments waiting for me to be paid out. My monthly paycheck. They hold it for me in hopes i will be found and returned home. In the event of my death, the mortgage company is promised to be paid what is owed from my payments owed to me with permission of my next of kin.

This occurs with will MIA/POW. Location Unknown in the military and contractors that may have been kidnapped that work abroad.

So it is a nice perk.

To be tortured and held captive. In Hell to find out you have all your paychecks waiting and your home? Its pretty fucking amazing.

So that's pretty much all there is to say

Of course thank you for saving my house. I sure prayed a lot about it. And begged for mercy.

And I'm sorry for the people who witnessed the murder of a black man. And I'm thankful it was recorded and no one else was hurt.

At least you know the truth about him. And I hope that does squelch a little of that rage. Hopefully it gets illegal drugs off the streets. That shit is bad.,cocaine and heroin. I hate that shit.,but not as much as human trafficking

Of course I'd kill a bitch on herion pretty fucking fast

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