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angelkurenai · 3 years

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Oh baby dear - Chris Evans x Reader

Title: Oh baby dear

Pairing: Chris Evans x Surrogate!Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: After a trip that gives the chance to Chris to take a long-overdue break from his job, he comes back home with his mind made up to change his life. And even if it weren’t for the trip itself or meeting you, even though he had no idea if he’d ever see you again, he was determined to not wait any longer. Feeling ready to become a father he starts looking for a surrogate mother, only to end up finding you of all people.

“Son of a guy. You meant it.” brown eyes were wide, and for the first couple seconds no other sound could be heard in the room. It almost felt like the words could echo in the room.

“You're really doing this.” the man's voice was filled with just as much shock as was painted all over his face. At least the woman behind him was more calm, sipping on her drink with an ease that would have been troubling, especially in such a case, if it wasn't known that she had long ago heard the news.

“I wouldn't have brought it up in the first place if I wasn't seriously considering it.” the other man in the room couldn't take his eyes off his friend, trying to gauge his reaction the second it came through. It was bound to be the most honest one, no second thoughts, and he only needed his friends' honest thoughts. Not that, and he was sure of it, the other man would intentionally tell him anything but the truth.

“You- wow.” the shocked expression was still there but there was no mistaking the smile that was slowly but surely appearing on his face “Seems like Evans is finally joining the club, who'd have thought? That's what I call one heck of a year, quickly Scarlett note the date down! It's going to go down in the history books, I tell you. Oh you're in for one hell of a ride, buddy! Wait you knew about this, didn't you?” he turned to the woman but shook his head soon enough “Never mind. You're gonna have to look for a godmother but I do get to be the godfather, right? I really need to start making preparations, nine months are not even remotely enough. I gotta-”

“Take a deep breath and calm down, Robert. That's what you gotta do. Otherwise this kid won't get to meet its one-of-a-kind godfather. And we would never want that to happen, would we?” the woman interrupted his rambling, a teasing smile on her own lips as she noticed Chris himself chuckle.

“Oh goodness forbid that could ever happen.” Chris laughed some more, his chest feeling lighter than it had in the past couple days “And besides that, there has not been a surrogate found just yet. Papers got approved only a day ago, it will take more time than that.”

“You say that as if the second every woman finds out you're on that kind of market, won't volunteer to have your baby. Heck, I know most of them would gladly volunteer to do it the old-fashioned way! You'll see, you will be getting news very soon.” Robert brushed his friend off and got up from his seat, making his way to the mini bar to grab a drink for himself “Which means, I really gotta start preparing everything because a) this is Evans' kid and b) I'm the godfather and it'll get only the best!”

Scarlett couldn't help but laugh, while Chris shook his head with a chuckle, before she added “As you can see, he is going to be more trouble than the kid.” she ignored the look that was shot at her from Robert and kept going “But, speaking of it, I never asked: Did you never really consider adoption?”

“For most of the time that's what I had in mind, yes, but-” he sighed, easing back in his seat “I asked about it and my chances were sadly very low, given my job and everything, not to mention how lengthy of a process it all was. Sebastian was actually the one to suggest it and you know I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since. Granted, it is just as hard to find a surrogate who is also willing to be the biological mother but I feel like I have more to hope for this way.”

“You have every reason to be hopeful, I'm sure this will work out just fine. Besides-” she offered her friend a warm smile “There is no other man that I can think of that could be a better father than you. This child will be very lucky.”

“...The part of Robert being the godfather excluded?” Chris added with a smirk, eyeing his friend who narrowed his eyes at him, before both Chris and Scarlett burst into laughter.

“Life isn't perfect, what can you do?” she grinned as she took a sip of her drink.

“I'll try to be the better man, as always, and not comment on any spiteful comments against me. You're just jealous I am going to be the world's best godfather. Anyway, that wasn't what I was going to comment on.” he plopped back on his seat and gave the blue-eyed man a sly smile “Sebastian you say but I'm wondering: was it him or that summer trip to Italy that really prompted you to become a dad? Maybe a certain someone you met there? What was her name...”

“Don't-” it was all he had time to get out, his eyes wide and voice very warning; but there was never any stopping the man when he wanted to speak his mind.

“Ah yes.” Robert grinned widely “(Y/n).”

“What- Who?” Scarlett frowned, tilting her head to the side “How come I haven't heard of her before? I thought you told me everything about Italy.”

“She's nobod-”

“Probably the love of his life. Something like his soulmate. One he talks about a lot in his sleep, hence why I should hold more parties and have you guys over. The info I get is golden. Anyway, think of it as the star-crossed lovers but one where he isn't the Lana Del Rey young and beautiful, you know? Heard she's something like a med or psych graduate or something. So come to think of it all, Italy, soulmates and age difference, this is like another version of Call me by your-”

“And that's it for you. Enough words spoken for one day.” Scarlett said, not hesitating a second to place a hand over the man's mouth who admittedly didn't give up even if his words were only an incoherent mumble after that.

Chris' eyes were wide and there was no mistaking the way he wanted to not talk about it, as if there was some unparalleled sadness that came with the mention of your name, a deep ache and at the same time yearning perhaps because he missed you, just like there was no mistaking the tint of pink that was on his cheeks.

“That's-” he cleared his throat, avoiding looking at his friends in the eyes because he knew how easy it would be to tell that even so many months later the feelings were fresh as much as the day he had to leave, the day he left a part of himself on the airport with you – a part he knew real well he wouldn't get back again, certainly not from any other woman he got to meet. That missing part of him, even if the rest held all the beautiful memories dearly to itself and felt truly blessed, he knew was obvious. It was all on his face that he was missing something, even if he'd gotten so much. And he knew she would see it, it all became so obvious when he thought of you.

He shook his head when he realized he had taken longer than needed to reply “It was way too long ago, I can hardly remember it now. Hell, as if barely anything happened to begin with. She was just-” a lump in his throat, too painful “I made a good friend, a really good friend yes, who helped me see my life in a different way. Helped me make my choice and see the things that really matter. Couldn't keep in contact and yes that's a bit sad but- That's all there is to it, nothing more nothing less.”

Scarlett regarded him for a couple seconds, even as he tried to keep himself busy with getting another drink, before she finally spoke “If you say so.” she nodded her head “At least we now know who we owe this to and who to thank for our family growing, don't we?”

“Then-” Robert's smile was softer, yet also sad, as he raised his glass a bit “Let's drink to that, if not your baby just yet. To (Y/n)?”

“To (Y/n).” Scarlett nodded her head “For helping you make the best decision of your life, wherever she may be now.”

Chris hesitated, the unspoken truth of you not only being the one to help him make the decision but also be part of that decision, part of the family he wanted to build, was ready to break free from his lips but he held it back “Wherever she may be.” he said in a low hoarse voice, raising his glass as well “To (Y/n).”

He had not allowed himself to say your name in a long time and thinking back to it, the effect had been evident not only in his chest, in his heartbeat, but also in his lips, how painfully strange it felt when all he had been doing was think about it for months to no end, down to his throat that closed up with emotion. And he had allowed himself to say it not only so that he would make sure his friends would drop the subject but also because it had been a long time, he felt the need to and he knew that he wouldn't get the chance to do so, not anytime soon for sure.

And yet, only seconds ago, the name had left his lips for the second time in barely a couple days.

His brain could barely keep up with the fact, all the information he had to currently process seemed to make things even harder. Saying your name this time certainly had the same effect, his throat closed up and his heart leaped to his throat, but it felt like it was for an entirely different reason. He blinked several times, trying to make sure that what he was seeing was also true, to make sure that it wasn't wishful thinking and that him holding his breath had not reduced the levels of oxygen to a point where he couldn't even see straight. Truth be told, he felt pretty lightheaded.

“(Y/n) (Y/l/n).” he repeated your name for the third time, the third time in only a couple days his mind nearly screamed at him, but it didn't feel the same this time.

“Yes, I would say she seems like one of the most, if not the most, suitable candidate for you case.” the woman behind the desk gave him a warm smile but his brain was still currently stuck on the word 'candidate'.

“I'm sorry. There seems to be some misunderstanding here and I- I don't know whose part it is on, but-” he licked his lips, trying to swallow over the lump in his throat “When you say- What you're trying to say- I'm sorry.” he shook his head and let a couple seconds to pass in silence; he knew she wouldn't ask before him.

Taking a deep breath he decided to speak, even if his voice was hoarse he hoped she could make out the words “Candidate for what?”

The woman frowned a bit but it was gone faster than it could register, as she spoke in a calm voice “Your case. To be not only the surrogate you are looking for. See, her current, and according to her permanent from now on, residence is in New York City and very close to the residence you have listed as your permanent one. It is important, you understand, if we take into consideration that she will be the biological mother of the child. You might want the child to be able to stay in touch with her, and vice versa, so the close proximity does help. Of course that is always up to you, but in most cases we've seen it hap-”

“When did she sign up for this?” he asked, barely able to keep himself to wait for her to finish her sentence.

“Pardon?” she blinked and only then he realized how he might have sounded.

“You're right. I apologize, that came out as wrong.” he cleared his throat again “What I mean is... does she know who I am? That she- she's signing up to be a surrogate for my child.”

“Every surrogate must be informed, of course, of you as you are informed of her. She too must know whose child she will carry, don't you think it's fitting? But if you are uhm-” she hesitated “Concerned about other children, then, you need not worry. It's not my place to say this but it seems like-” she smiled a bit, almost knowingly “That you have already chosen, so I believe it wouldn't really be against any rule to say this. Consider it an extra bit of information.”

'Seems like you have already chosen.' would be a vast understatement. It was like every cell in his body was screaming 'Yes', chanting it over and over again that he was seriously worried he might have projected it somehow. He could barely control the words that came out of his lips anyway. If anything, the second he had come across the file with your name he had been glued to it, his eyes and all of his attention orbiting around the single file as if he was Earth and you were his Sun. Not far from the truth either.

But it also must have shown- No scratch that. He was sure it had shown because he had done no effort to hide it, too stunned and happy and eager and giddy and blessed and so many other things, to try to hide it. And she had clearly noticed.

“So, no, she has not mothered another child. As a matter of fact, Miss (Y/l/n) is doing this for the first time.” the woman leaned back in her chair “She came to us with the belief that there was too much sadness out there and, amongst other things, she decided to do this little one thing to help someone out. To make someone happy. I believe she didn't really have any further expectations out of this, no further plans, other than wanting to do some good. We only informed her of your case and she said she'd like to help, nothing else.” she shrugged softly “For any further reasons behind her choice you could ask her, I suppose. If you do think she could be the right choice to be the mother of your child, then-”

“She is.” he said, maybe a little too fast, but he didn't care. He didn't find a single part of him that cared for how eager he looked at the prospect of you being the mother of his child. Granted, it wasn't exactly how he'd imagined it but it was so much more than he ever thought he'd get, of what he thought he deserved, when he had told you goodbye that summer.

He cleared his throat again, trying to straighten his back and look as formal as he should in the suit he was wearing. He offered her a small smile “She is the right one. I think I've decided. I-” he paused, glancing at the pile of files and therefore other candidates which he had absolutely not even taken a glimpse at and he hoped she wouldn't comment on it “I've thought things through, yes.” because no man could make such a decision so hastily, he knew, and yet he looked like he just had “I'm glad for all the candidates it means a lot but uhm Miss (Y/l/n) seems to be indeed the right one. I think she will do just fine yes.”

“Wonderful.” she smiled more, nodding her head “If it means anything, she seemed happy when she was presented with your case.” oh if only she knew just how much it really meant to him, ask his wildly-beating heart and everyone would know just how much “Now, you understand that while you seem pretty sure and confident with your choice, you will have to give it some more time, more than anything to get in touch with the surrogate herself and discuss through any specific terms you might have. We will be the ones to set a meeting. Of course there are legal issues that need to be taken care of, but you're a lawyer yourself so you probably know that better than anybody else already.”

“Y-yes uh of course, yes, legal terms. Mr Wilson will represent me on the matter of course. But you said-” he folded his hands over his lap and threaded his fingers and it was either that or let his nerves show “Meeting her? Will I get to meet her in person soon or...?”

“That, Mr Evans, is completely up to you, how ready and sure you are, how much time you need and how fast you want things to progress.” she said as if she'd had this conversation many times over and she probably had “It could be within a week, a month, or, if you have no doubts, within three days the soonest possible. So, do you need time to think over-”

“The soonest possible. I'd like-” he nodded his head, straightening his suit's jacket “I think it would be best if I could meet with her the soonest possible. She's just what I was looking for.”

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laurentspup · 3 years

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Friends... Is that what we are? (Lamen AU) Part 7.5

Masterlist

Author’s note:

Hey it’s been so long since I updated this! It still takes a lot of me to think of dialogue and edit the messages, so this isn’t new content. It is, however, what really happened in part 7 (when Damen went to Laurent’s house and read him a book, and kissed his forehead). I always thought this was better in paragraphs than soc med format, so here it is. I actually drafted this before part 7 and I finished it now!

I hope you all enjoy this new chapter and I promise I will be back with a new update soon. I just have to get used to driving (just passed my license a month ago), college (it’s my last year), and work (first year in person).

Okay that was a lot, now onto this chapter full of sweetness and pining.

Part 7.5

It’s past midnight, but Laurent still has a big smile on his face since his call with Damen. It has been a few hours after Damen simply talked about his day, about his brother, about the yacht his parents bought because they had too much money and nothing more to spend it on, anything he could think of. Laurent was more than happy to sit there and listen to his voice. He liked the man too much to do anything else about it.

He is currently studying for his upcoming biology exam on Tuesday. It’s not too bad of an exam, but there are endless terms, endless body functions, and he hates that all he can do is memorize everything. It’s not learning but it does result in an A. His phone buzzes beside him, and welcoming any distraction, he picks it up to see a text from Damen. He’s downstairs.

Laurent runs to his window to check if it’s true. Damen, knowing exactly what Laurent does every time he surprises Laurent with a visit, is looking up at him, waving. Damen’s at Laurent’s door. He isn’t supposed to be home yet, back in this city, but here he is, glowing under the porch light, gorgeous in his hoodie, and everything Laurent ever wanted. He’s speaking but Laurent, shaking his head with a look of disbelief, can’t hear him.

“Wait one sec.” He whispers with a gesture and turns around to go downstairs in a hurry. Before opening the door, he fixes his hair and assumes a relaxed position, as if his heart isn’t pounding miles a minute at the prospect of Damen outside his house, at midnight. As if this doesn’t happen almost everyday.

Once he’s face to face with Damen’s kind eyes, with the smile that can only be read as extremely happy to see him, his heart hammers harder in his chest.

“What are you doing here?” Laurent breathlessly asks him with wide eyes, confusion and excitement evident on his face, try as he might to mask it.

Damen is also breathless, though Laurent can’t think of any reason why.

“I missed you.”

It’s a punch to all the right places in Laurent’s heart. It’s something he can never say to Damen out loud, but he feels it all the same, right down to his bones. It’s something he didn’t know Damen had the nerve to say out loud to him.

“I mean-” Damen begins and Laurent’s face twitches. Damen must have caught it because he stops. “I mean yeah. I missed you so I drove back since there’s nothing to do at my parent’s anymore. And I got you this.”

Laurent doesn’t see the Target plastic bag in Damen’s hand until he lifts it.

“It’s from my mom. She insisted I give you a home-cooked meal since she knows you’re mostly alone nowadays. She doesn’t stop hinting at my dad that she wants to go on a European tour too, see Paris- what? Why are you smiling?”

Laurent doesn’t know he’s smiling. He tries to school his expression even though it’s too late.

“Nothing. You’re here. No- it’s just- I don’t know what I’m saying. Come in.” He quickly says the sentences after the other, making Damen laugh and his cheeks flush. “Shut up.”

“I wasn’t saying anything!” Damen enters behind him, shaking with happiness.

Laurent leads him to the kitchen, so he can put the food in the fridge. It’s too late to eat right now and he has a few more chapters to read.

Damen gives him the plastic bag and sits on the stool by the island. He stares at Laurent as he unpacks the tupperwares, then puts it in the fridge. A comfortable silence surrounds them, but Laurent is too conscious of Damen’s stare. It’s as if he can hear the dangerous somersaults Laurent’s heart was doing.

“You still studying tonight?”

“Yeah. Bio’s kicking my ass.”

“I’ll stay up with you. Nik’s not home yet, anyway. He visited his parents too since he was there already.”

“You don’t have to stay up.”

“No, I want-”

“But you can stay.”

“Well, I’m staying up and you can’t stop me.” Damen is right in front of Laurent's face when he turns to face him. He steps back quickly. “Cool?”

“Do whatever you want.” Laurent replies, heart in his throat, rushing to leave the kitchen and get to his room before Damen sees his face turn dangerously red.

Laurent’s head is bent, back to Damen, busy reading the last chapter for his exam. Nothing is entering his brain anymore, but he has to read all of these at least two times to store it in his brain until his test. He’s been yawning since the third paragraph, and he has a massive headache which began in the previous chapter.

It has been two hours since Laurent started studying and let Damen just be in the background. He would hear Damen’s little laughs, gasps, or groans at whatever game he was playing on his phone. He feels Damen’s gaze on his back, conscious of him being conscious of his every move. It was a normal routine for them at three am, but somehow, today, it was more.

Laurent yawns again. This chapter about the reproductive system is very intriguing, but exasperating. He would rather do it himself than read about it. If only the man currently on his bed knew how much he has been thinking about him and this. He sighs at the idea, then hears Damen shuffle on his bed.

“I think you need to take a break.”

“Be quiet. I’m studying.”

“Take a break, Laurent. You’ve been reading nonstop for two hours. I got so bored I started counting how much you’re yawning. It's thirty-seven by the way.”

“That’s weird. Stop staring at me while I’m studying.”

“But I like looking at you all concentrated.”

Laurent ignores him. “Just shut up. I have five more pages to go.”

Damen stands up and takes Laurent’s book. He holds it up above his head. Laurent rolls his eyes but doesn’t stand up.

“Give it back to me right now.” He crosses his arms like a stubborn child.

“Nope. You can try to grab it though.” The real stubborn child says.

“Just because you’re half a foot taller than me, doesn’t mean I can’t reach it.”

“Bet.”

“I’m not in the mood for your games, Damen.”

“I’m not playing. Take a break.”

“Dude, I wanna sleep too. Just let me finish.”

“Dude?” Damen says, offended. Laurent ignores his tone again. He stares at Damen with eyebrows raised, trying to be intimidating, knowing well that it won’t work on Damen. “Fine. If you go to bed I’ll give it back to you. Even if you look super sleepy.”

“I’m not sleepy.” Just as Laurent finishes the last word, he yawns.

Damen raises his eyebrows at him. “Thirty-eight.”

“Ha ha. Give me back the book.”

“When you go to bed.”

“I’m not falling for that.”

Damen falls back on Laurent’s bed. Maybe if he offered something else, Laurent might say yes. Maybe Laurent is just tired.

“You gotta get this book one way or another.” Damen shrugs.

Laurent stubbornly stays on his chair, staring daggers at Damen. What the hell is his problem? He didn’t ask him to stay up with him, he told him not to!

Laurent watches Damen flip through the book, knowing he hates it because he’s going to lose his spot. Still, he notices how Damen's index finger remains on the page he’s reading. It’s sweet, but Damen still sucks for making him take a break.

“Ugh.” Annoyed, Laurent stands and goes beside his bed. “I’m here. Hand it back.”

“I have an idea.” Damen answers, not looking at him.

“Damen.” Laurent says, getting more aggravated by the second.

“Look, your eyes are so tired right now.”

“You’re not looking at me, and I can’t see my own eyes.”

Damen ignores him. “Did you even sleep last night?”

Laurent flushes when he remembers the reason why he hasn't slept well at all yet. It’s because of this annoying, clueless brute lying on his bed and he doesn’t even know! All the hours he spends pining for him, yet this is all that ever happens to them.

“See? You haven’t.” Damen answers, interpreting Laurent’s expression as guilt and embarrassment. “Lie down right now and close your eyes.”

“Stop telling me what to do. I have to finish studying.”

Laurent can just take the book, but he knows Damen will pull him and force him to lie down. God, if only Damen is going to do that for other reasons, he’d have done it the moment Damen told him to go to bed.

“I’ll read it to you.”

“You’re going to what?” Laurent asks, genuinely taken aback.

“I'm gonna read to you while you rest your eyes. Saves time. You rest while you still learn. It’s a win-win.” Damen looks at him and smiles expectantly.

“That’s stupid, Damen. It’s five pages long. And it won’t go into my brain.” Laurent is exasperated. He’s losing patience. Hell, he doesn’t even know why he’s still keeping up this conversation. He could kick out Damen anytime. This is his house.

“Yes it would. You take in everything you hear fast.” Laurent opens his mouth to spit a vicious remark but Damen talks first. “Just let me help you. Please.”

Laurent closes his eyes, trying so hard, even though he doesn’t know why, to keep calm. He equally hates and loves Damen for making him take a break and for offering to read five pages of the reproductive system. He grits his teeth because he’s going to say yes, and he’s going to hear Damen talk about sex and sex parts without knowing what it will do to Laurent.

“You’re so annoying.” Laurent sits on the bed. Damen scoots to give him space with a wide smile on his face. “Why can’t I say no to you?”

“It’s because secretly you really like me.”

He wants to strangle Damen. He wishes he could shake him and look him in the eye and scream “YES I FUCKING DO. DO YOU LIKE ME BACK, ASSHOLE?” Fuck him. It’s true. It’s so true, but Laurent is never going to admit that… first.

“Just read. Annoying prick.” He mumbles and makes himself comfortable on the bed. He makes sure there’s at least a foot gap between him and the idiot beside him.

“You can come closer. I don't bite.” Damen says, staring at Laurent with that glint in his eye, patting the space next to him.

“So fucking bossy.” Laurent says angrily and still scoots over. He’ll get over feeling Damen’s warmth and not being in his arms instead. “If I sleep, you better wake me up or I'm killing you.”

He huffs as his head hits the soft pillow and his eyes close. It feels good. He thinks he hasn’t closed his eyes to blink in the past hours.

“Can’t kill me if you’re sleeping.” Damen answers with confidence, settling back on the bed. Laurent feels him move until their shoulders touch, despite the purposeful one inch gap that Laurent left so this won’t happen. Now, he’s really annoyed and conflicted. But he doesn’t move away.

“Give me back the book.”

“Kidding!”

“Just start.”

“So fucking bossy.” Damen teases.

Laurent opens his eyes, ready to smack Damen or kick him out or maybe kiss him too, but he opens the book and starts reading loudly. “The penis is part of the male reproductive system. See Damen’s for ref-”

“I’m pretty sure it doesn't say your-” Laurent cuts him off.

“Shh, I’m reading.”

“Read properly, then. And I’m on the top of that page, first paragraph.”

Damen hushes him again. Laurent rolls his eyes but stays quiet. When Damen begins once more, he reads what Laurent told him to. Laurent feels his heart leap at that, desperate to reach out to Damen, put his head on his shoulder and listen from there. But he keeps his hands to himself.

As Damen reads about functions of the reproductive organs, Laurent soaks in his voice and his warmth. Maybe, this isn’t such a bad idea. He can actually focus better. His eyes don’t hurt as much now, and he can picture the words that Damen reads. His deep voice compels him to listen, and it tugs at his heartstrings at the same time. He can’t even fathom how amazing it is to have Damen read a Biology book to him.

This can’t be just a friendly gesture, Laurent’s brain nags at him. But he quickly kicks all thoughts of more because he knows Damen. Damen has probably done this with all of his friends. He’s just a nice guy who brings Laurent food and makes him take a break and reads his book for him, and Laurent just happens to like him. There’s nothing more.

He listens to Damen flip to the next page, and shuts off the part of his brain that continues to pine for the man beside him. He’ll take this right now and he’ll think about the repercussions tomorrow. Right now, he’ll let himself feel the warmth and comfort of Damen. Right now, he’ll listen to Damen’s voice, soothing him like a lullaby.

Laurent opens his eyes. It’s not dark, his lights are left on, and there’s an unfamiliar warmth beside him, something he’s unaccustomed to when he wakes alone. His head is on a harder surface, not on a pillow but-

He shifts his eyes to the left and sees Damen's clothed chest. The chest his head is resting on right now. The chest his head rested on while he slept. The chest that’s steadily falling and rising.

He slept and somehow, he ended up on Damen’s chest. He asked to be woken up if he slept, but he should have never trusted Damen.

Damen, annoying, clueless Damen, whose clothed chest is under his head right now.

He wants to move away, badly, but also, he can't. Because he wants to be here too, badly.

Physically, there were no obstacles stopping Laurent from moving away. Damen’s arms aren’t even enveloping him. Somehow, he slept without touching Laurent, probably because he knows Laurent doesn’t like to be touched without permission. God, why is Damen so?

For a few moments, he imagines this is real. That Damen is his to sleep on, to cuddle with. That if Damen wakes right now, he’ll kiss Laurent sleepily, a lazy smile spreading across his face. So he stays for a few seconds, tempted to move his arm on top of Damen's torso and snuggle closer. He wants this to be what they are. But it’s not.

Before Laurent could do anything that he can’t explain to Damen without spilling his heart open, he sighs and prepares to move away. He no longer wants to hurt and delude himself further. He doesn’t want to think of this as a mistake, but it is. Damen doesn’t feel the same way he does. Damen is his best friend and he should stay that way.

He moves back a little, but Damen shifts. He abruptly stops moving for a second to not wake him, but Damen puts his arms on top of him and brings him closer.

“Don’t go.” A sleepy voice whispers as a kiss is pressed on Laurent’s forehead.

Laurent freezes. He must still be dreaming. There’s no way in hell or heaven that Damen just kissed him on the forehead, asleep or not. He swallows, too afraid to look up and find out if Damen did this on purpose or in his dream. In this position, Laurent’s head is even closer to Damen’s clothed chest and he can hear his steady heartbeat, can see the rise and fall of his chest, and can determine Damen isn’t awake at all.

Laurent is going crazy. That’s it. He needs to leave, right now, but he can't move anymore. What the fuck is Damen doing to him? What the fuck is he dreaming about? Why can’t he just tell Laurent now that he likes him too, that nothing is ever simply friendly between them?

Once more, he tries to leave the embrace but Damen hugs him tighter.

“Don’t go.” Damen whispers again. “Laurent, I love you.”

Laurent cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot close his eyes. He’s sure now. He’s the one dreaming.

#Captive Prince #college au #lamen #modern lamen #modern lamen au #modern au #college au part 7 #college au part 7.5 #damen x laurent #laurent x damen #yes i have an article response due tomorrow so this is what i did first #when i procrastinate i write ha #that is just how it goes and i think it is actually good lmao #lamen fic by me

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yikesharringrove · 3 years

Text

Me and my thots

Read on ao3

Billy didn’t black out when the first limb clamped onto his side.

He figured he would.

Figured the searing pain would cause his brain to short.

But it didn’t.

He didn’t even drop when the next one hit, chomping into his other side.

He figures the adrenaline was keeping him going.

And probably the other-worldly strength from whatever bits of the creature was left in him.

All he knows is that the final one pierced his chest.

And he didn’t lose consciousness.

Not as he fell.

Not as Max hovered over him.

Not as he heard shouts, and felt hands pressing into his wounds.

He woke with a start.

He shook the dream out of his head, rolling to press both fists into his eyes.

He slid out from under the thick duvet, pulling it up and over the sleeping form of the person next to him.

Like he did every morning.

He scratched his chest, making his way over to their sunny little kitchen, getting the coffee going.

It’s been a while since he’s dreamed about the Mind Flayer.

In his thirty years since that night at the mall, he’s gotten enough therapy to break most of it down, to accept what happened to him, what he was forced without question to do.

He startled as arms slipped around his waist.

“You okay?”

Steve’s voice was sleep groggy, his chin hooked over Billy’s shoulder.

“Yeah, Pretty Boy. I’m alright.”

Steve placed his hand over the faded scar on Billy’s chest, kissing his shoulder blade once.

Billy turned to look at him, taking in the sparse grey hairs Steve liked to complain about, the soft lines near his eyes.

Billy sucked in a gasp of air when he woke, spluttering as his lungs burned.

He was in the hospital, his heart monitor going haywire.

Nurses flooded the room, but Billy paid them no mind, his eyes locking on the big brown ones.

Steve had pushed himself against the wall, giving the nurses room to check him over.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been since the mall, just knows hat Steve’s face looks hurt, old bruises turning yellow and green as they healed.

He was stabilized, and he felt more steady. His breathing still hurt, but he was doing it on his own.

The few nurses made their way out once again.

“Jesus, Hargrove. Scared me half to death.” Steve didn’t sound scared. He sounded relieved. “I was almost asleep and then you took this giant breath, Christ.”

Steve’s hands were shaking as he lowered himself into a plastic chair facing Billy’s bed.

“Sorry.”

Billy’s voice was hoarse, and it hurt to talk.

“How long-?”

“A few weeks.” Then Steve’s face got hurt that same night.

It was odd looking at him.

He looked so young, not the face dream Billy was used to, the face of a grown man.

“Hargrove, you okay?”

And echo of that dream.

And boy did that hurt, the realization that it was a dream.

His idyllic life with Steve.

Nothing but his subconscious. Probably creating something to keep him calm while his body healed in a coma.

“Why you here?” Speaking still burned his throat. He wished he had some water.

Maybe even tea.

Steve usually makes him a nice chamomile tea when he’s sick. Puts some fresh lemon juice and honey in there. They have a lemon tea in the backyard.

He shook himself.

That was just a dream.

“Been worried about you, man.” Steve wasn’t looking at him.

Steve has trouble with eye contact.

Years spent with a father that forced it only to berate Steve for-

What the fuck. His daydream kept bleeding over, giving him all this nonsense about the dream version of Steve he had conjured up.

“Don’t know why.”

Steve looked at him then.

“Really pulled some shit, didn’t I?”

“That doesn’t mean you, you deserve to die, or something. You weren’t in control.”

“Was that night I beat your face in.”

Steve looked away again.

“Water under the bridge.”

Steve once told him he doesn’t know what that expression means, just that he’s heard people use it in situations like this.

“You don’t even know what that means.” Billy couldn’t stop himself.

He just blurted it out.

And Steve gave him a funny look.

Because of course he does. Because this Steve, this real Steve is different than the coma fantasy one Billy conjured up.

“Well, no. But people usually say it like that, don’t they?”

And Billy just stared at him.

And then his vision went hazy around the edges, and he slipped back into darkness.

“Which one?”

Steve was holding up two pairs of swim trunks. Billy was just staring at his ass.

“You know I like those little green ones.”

Steve threw him a look over his shoulder.

“I don’t think the green ones even fit anymore.”

Steve sometimes got self conscious about himself. His thighs had thickened up considerably, his ass getting plumper too. And his belly was soft, doughy, and perfect for squishing.

But the green shorts fit, even though they were tight.

And Billy loved his older body, loved when Steve put on some extra fluff. A chubby Steve meant a happy Steve. And Billy would know.

You learn a lot about a person in thirty-some years.

Steve was dressed now, shouldering a bag.

“Beach time?” His eyes were bright.

“Beach time.”

They held hands as they walked.

The air smelled like ocean spray.

The beach was close to their little house, and they found their usual spot right away, far from any other beach patrons.

“Hargrove!”

Billy came to with a start, back in the cold hospital room, back with a younger Steve.

What the fuck was going on?

“Sorry, you kinda passed out. I thought you were slipping back under, or something.”

Steve looked sheepish.

“It’s fine.”

It wasn’t. Not totally.

Because Billy wanted to live in that fucking daydream for the rest of his goddamn life.

“Sorry, I should let you sleep. I mean you’re probably exhausted.” Steve stood up, gathering the few things he had with him, a water bottle, and empty coffee cup, and a book. An old worn out copy of The Outsiders.

That’s dream Steve’s favorite book. He reads it once every year. He said it was the first book he ever read in class that actually gripped him. The only one he actually took the time to push through his rampant dyslexia to read and understand.

He won’t be diagnosed dyslexic until he’s 23. He’ll feel really vindicated and Billy will take him out for a fancy dinner. They’ll go skinny dipping in the ocean after and Steve will whine the whole time.

Billy hadn’t realized he had been staring at Steve the whole time that all ran through his brain, not until Steve snapped his fingers in front of him.

“Billy!”

“Yeah, what? Sorry.”

“Are you okay? Should I get a nurse?”

“No, I just-” he tried to scrub a hand down his face, found his muscles screamed out at the movement of his muscles after who knows how long in that bed.

It didn’t matter anyway, as his hands were wrapped up in a mitten of bandages.

“Was havin’ a good dream.”

“What was it about?”

Billy couldn’t look at Steve. Couldn’t look at those big brown eyes, couldn’t search for the specks of gold, the streaks of green that he knows are there.

“Future. Dream future, I guess.”

“Do you-” Steve hesitated, and Billy finally looked at him, watched as he reached up to tug on a lock of hair near the crown of his head. A nervous tick he’s had since he was a kid. “Do you wanna share?”

“California. Little house by the beach. Slice of Heaven, really.”

“A wife?”

“Been married for a few years.”

“She pretty?”

“The prettiest.”

Steve smiled at him softly.

“Sorry you had to wake up to me, then.”

And that? That made Billy wanna tear out his own damn hair. Made him wanna pull Steve to lay on top of him the way they both like, pet through Steve’s hair, tell him how goddamn perfect you are, Sugar.

“It’s okay. Prefer your company.”

“I guess I’m alright if the alternative is being alone.”

“Cut that out.”

Steve blinked at him.

“We’ve been talking like, five minutes and all you’ve done is apologize and talk shit on yourself.”

“Sorry, I- it’s just a habit, I guess.” He was back to playing with his hair. Being a little rougher, tugging on the lock between his fingers a bit. Billy sighed as well as he could with his burning lungs.

“Just, I like it that you’re here, okay? I’d tell you to beat it if I wanted you gone.”

And Steve smiled at him.

One of his six real smiles, not one of the eleven fake ones.

Billy can tell.

Because the real ones make his nose scrunch a bit. They make his eyes go bright and his shoulders bunch up.

And he must’ve fallen back into that dream again, because suddenly he was looking at his Steve, his grown up Steve, giving him that exact same real smile as Billy ran wet fingers over his skin.

And he pulled Steve close to him in the shower, mouthing at the skin of his neck.

And if this was a dream, he was going to burn all of this into his memory.

The way Steve’s skin tastes, the way he gasps when Billy nibbles at his ear. The way Billy feels buried deep inside him, in the soft bed that they share, the one that took months to buy because Steve is weirdly picky about bedframes for no discernible reason.

And just as he was watching Steve’s face crumple, as he was trying to memorize the exact noises he makes as he cums, he was jolted out of his dream by the real Steve, fucking sneezing.

“Sorry.” He looked distressed. “You were like, really asleep and I, I tried to hold it back.”

“’S okay. Know you got that dust thing.”

Billy was drowsy. He felt like he was inches underwater, everything moving slowly around him. Almost like the world was a little muffled.

Turns out his last dose of pain meds had been administered while he was out.

“Wait, what dust thing?”

“Got that. You know. You’re allergic to dust. And peanuts. And cashews. And-the green ones.”

“Pistachios?”

“Yeah.”

“How do you know that?”

“You told me. Nearly fuckin’ killed you first time we really made out. I had just eaten a PB and J. Sent you into anaphylaxis.”

Billy felt himself drifting, that perfect dreamland tugging him back.

And then there was a cold hand on his arm, shaking him gently.

“Billy, Billy don’t fall asleep. You gotta, Billy what the fuck? We haven’t made out. We, how do you know what I’m allergic to?”

But Billy was swallowed up by sleep once again.

He was laying next to Steve, stretched out on their bed, Steve’s head resting on his shoulder.

“Today was nice. Haven’t had a day like that in such a long time.”

“We should do it more often, then. Call outta work and hang out at the beach all day.”

Steve rolled a bit to glare playfully at Billy.

“Some of us don’t have the luxury of setting our own hours, Mr. Boss Man.”

“Billy!”

And he was back, back to staring at the pale nervous face of Young Steve.

“Billy, you’re scaring me.”

Sunlight was beginning to haze through the meager window at the end of the hospital room. Billy hadn’t had any idea of time since he got here.

Steve looked like shit, like he hadn’t slept all night.

“Billy, I don’t know if you remember, everything you said before you fell asleep but-”

“I remember.”

Steve furrowed his brows.

“How do you know that? About, about my allergies. And yesterday, you said, you said I didn’t know what water under the bridge meant. And you said, that we m-made out.”

Billy sighed again, his lungs protesting the effort.

“My dream. The future. You’re the person. My person. And now it’s like, whatever Dream Billy knows about Dream Steve I know. And I figured I just, like, made all that shit up.”

Steve was studying his face.

“Okay, then let’s see if you’ve just had some lucky guesses. Tell me what else you know, and maybe it’s all wrong.”

And Billy didn’t really like the way Steve looked like he hoped is was all wrong. Like he didn’t wanna be tied to Billy in this way.

Billy narrowed his eyes.

“When you were fourteen you watched A Streetcar Named Desire with your mom and you credit Marlon Brando as your queer awakening.”

Steve’s eyes went wide, his mouth trembling.

“Your dad has smacked you once in your life, and it’s when you got the rejection letter from Indiana State. You hid the letter from him because you knew he’d be mad, but he found it and hit you and didn’t talk to you for nearly a month.”

Steve’s eyes were shining now.

“Your mom used to always talk about how much she wished you guys could have a better garden, but because it gets so cold here, she can’t grow anything. The house we have in the daydream has like, a huge fucking garden in it, by the way. I hate gardening but you love it.”

Steve stood abruptly, pacing the length of the room in front of Billy’s bed. Billy just kept going.

It was like everything was ready to burst out of him. To prove that he knows Steve, that he loves Steve. Even if this Steve is somehow different to Dream Steve.

“You go fucking batshit over corn on the cob, just with a little butter and salt on there. That’s somehow your favorite food. Because you’re the most Midwesterner to ever Midwestern, I guess. Your second favorite food is your grandmother’s lasagna. You keep trying to recreate her recipe and no matter how much I tell you it’s fucking delicious, you always get this little pout going and explain to me about how it’s not quite right. You only started smoking because-”

“That’s, I think that’s enough.”

Steve looked like a strong gust of wind would knock him right over.

“It true.?”

“It’s, it’s all true. In, in detail. I mean the, the letter, and my dad. I swore I was never gonna tell anyone about that.”

“It took you a few years. We were talking about my dad. How he treated me, and you admitted that. How sometimes you think about that one time and it makes you sad because that was my everyday-” Billy cut himself off.

Because fuck.

He forgot that Steve knows jack fucking all about Billy.

Which means Steve was currently giving him that look, that wide-eyed, nostrils flared, mouth tight look that he always did when he was angry on Billy’s behalf.

It was kinda hot.

“Excuse me?”

“Forgot my apparent psychic abilities were limited to just me knowing about you.”

“Billy, did your dad hit you?”

And Billy kinda saw no point in lying anymore.

“All the damn time.”

And Steve was back to pacing.

“Fuck. Fuck. That honestly, wow that explains a lot. I mean, yeah. I get it now. I get it.”

Billy let him mutter to himself.

Steve always does better thinking out loud.

“You know, I was actually fucking nervous to tell you, but now I don’t care. Your dad was one of the flayed.”

“Yeah, I know. Only person I never felt guilty about.”

“You’re handling this, like, scary well.”

“Technically, I’ve had thirty years of therapy. All this has been processed already.”

“Wait, your little dream is thirty years in the future?”

“About.”

“So we’re, like, fifty?”

“About.”

“How do I look?”

Billy barked a laugh, regretting it almost immediately as his whole body screamed in protest. He wheezed a few times before he felt like he could speak again.

“I think you’re hot, but you don’t handle aging well.”

“Oh, God. What’s the damage?”

“Not telling. You’re just gonna spend the next thirty years stressing more than you already would. But lemme tell you, first time you found a grey hair? That was the funniest day of my damn life. It was like being in a soap opera. You found it and then called our lawyer to begin drawing up a will. And you kept saying how you probably only have a few god years left in you. It was hilarious.”

“Glad to know you laugh at my pain.”

“It’s one grey hair. Plus you maintain good health, don’t worry. You’ve got plenty of time to whine over grey hairs.”

“At least I don’t go bald.”

“Nah. Full head of natural hair. Not even receding.”

Steve brushed a hand through his hair, dropping heavily back into the seat next to Billy’s bed.

“Man, this is too trippy. Like, from my end, we’re not even close, you know? But to you, we’ve been together for decades. That’s fucking wild.”

“Imagine how I feel. Am I some kind of psychic now, or is this all just fucking delusion?”

“I mean, you know too much shit about me for everything to be, like, a figment of your imagination. But what happens now? Like, if we don’t live out the future just like your daydream, is the world gonna fall apart? Or is that an alternate dimension? Like, if the Upside Down exists, there’s gotta be other worlds too. Is that one of them and maybe because you were infected by the Mind Flayer you have like, a link between both worlds?” Steve’s brows were furrowed, his eyes darting all over the ceiling as he thought out loud. “And, I mean, I’m confused. I don’t know what my feelings towards you are. Like, don’t get me wrong, there’s been interest since you showed up. But now you’re telling me in some reality, we’ve been together for thirty years, and obviously you know all this deep shit about me, so do we date? When you know me like the back of your hand and I barely know you at all? And are you technically fifty years old? Since you lived out that other life?”

Billy’s head was starting to hurt, and he felt tired again.

“Sugar, you think we could table this?”

Steve’s cheeks went red as his jaw clacked shut.

“Is that what you call me? Sugar?”

“Call you a lot ‘a stuff.”

“Uh, like, like what?”

“Sugar, Pretty Boy, Stevie, Baby, Sweet Thing, Honey. Mac n’ Steve comes to mind.” Steve smiled softly at the last one, his cheeks still warm. “Princess.” Steve opened his mouth, his brows furrowing, the blush spreading down his neck. “No sense in denying how much you like them. Those are tried and true. Thirty years of calling you all that. Plus a few others. But, you know. Those are mostly reserved for the bedroom.”

Steve’s eyes went huge again.

“Fuck. You probably know what I kinks I have better than I do.”

“Oh, we’ve done some exploring in our time.”

Steve bent forward to bury his face in his hands with an Oh, God.

“I don’t think I wanna know.”

“Trust me when I say, you enjoy most of it.”

“Oh, most. That’s great.”

“There’s some trial and error. But we’re good at laughing stuff off, you and me.”

And then Steve’s eyes went wide, and he sat up straight in his chair.

“Wait, you said. When I first asked about the dream, you said, you said married. We got-I mean, we can get married?”

“Yeah. And we like, make out in public and shit. Hold hands everywhere. We’re big saps.”

Steve took a shaky breath.

“So things get, they get better? For people like us?”

“Yeah, they do,” Billy kept his voice soft, felt like sharing this thread of hope should be kept intimate, quiet. And Steve’s face split into a wide grin.

“God, I can’t fucking wait. Just to be, not to be scared all the time. Of everyone finding out this big fucking secret. It just, is.” Steve huffed a laugh. “Can’t believe it. Two guys getting married. Was our wedding nice?”

“We had two. One in the courthouse, one with everybody.”

“Wow. I just can’t believe it-wait, who;s everybody?”

“Your gang of weirdos. Here.”

And Steve lips parted, and he made that cute little face he always does before he cries.

“They all come? Dustin and the Byers and everyone?”

“Robin officiates. Dustin cries really fuckin’ loudly.”

“And they’re all, they’re all fine with it?”

“Yep.”

“God. It’s all, you think it’s too good to be true?”

“Everything I know about you was right. Don’t see a reason why everything else would be wrong.”

“Then, where do we go from here? Like, do we try to follow your memories? Or, forge our own path? Will the fact that we know about this future automatically change it?”

Billy’s heart was doing something funny as Steve wondered aloud to himself about all this.

The fact that he was all in, dead set on having this happy future with Billy, when he didn’t even know Billy.

“Are you sure about this? If we do this? Or some form of it. I mean, I know fucking everything about you. And you don’t know me at all.”

“I know you well enough to see the good in you. I know you well enough to see that under all your big scary toughness you’re caring. And you’re kind. Although you’d probably rather be dead than admit it. And besides. If, in another reality, or in the future, or whatever, I pick you to spend my life with, obviously that means there’s something in you that makes me love you.”

Billy gawked at him.

His face was hot, no doubt bright fucking red.

Because, holy shit was that a lot.

And even Billy, used to Steve’s passionate little tangents after thirty dream-years worth, was taken aback by how quickly Steve was ready to jump into this.

And all of a sudden, Billy wanted nothing more than to reach out to Steve, to pull him close and kiss him until he couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Harrington, I’m gonna need you to come kiss me right the fuck now.”

And Steve smiled, his most sunshiney happy smile, and the chair legs scraped along the tiled floor as he got up, sitting carefully on the edge of Billy’s bed.

He leaned over him, cupping Billy’s cheek in his hand, and pressing the softest of sugar kisses to his lips.

Billy let his eyes flutter closed, and he put one hand bandaged on Steve’s lap, wanting to grasp at him, to pull him even closer.

But Steve wrapped his other hand as gently as possible around the thick bandages, pulling away slowly, studying Billy’s face.

“I never asked. Is this always how our first kiss went?”

And Billy tried to search his memory, tried to find the sweet first kiss.”

“I-I don’t remember.”

Steve sat back.

“What?”

“Our first kiss, from the memories. I don’t remember. It’s like, when I think of our first kiss, all I can think of is that one just now. The other one is gone.”

An ache settled in Billy’s chest at the prospect, at losing a perfect memory with Steve. Losing their first kiss.

“So, when we do something, it like, replaces the old memory?”

“I guess.”

“So, we can build new ones then. And like, you won’t have to go through your whole life twice. We can start closer to square one. Memories that’ll be ours, and not ones that I don’t know.”

And that’s true.

For the pain of every memory gone is a brand new one, one that Steve would remember and be a part of too.

“Then I’m not telling you anymore. If we’re gonna build the memories together, we can’t be working off of some, some blueprint. Things need to be ours.”

“Agreed. We’ll make it up as we go.” Steve hadn’t stopped smiling at Billy.

“Is it weird I’m gonna kinda miss seeing you all old? You’re a silver fucking fox.”

“Yes, Bill. That’s fucking weird.” Steve took his hand and pressed a kiss on his bandages, right over where his palm will be. “Just means you’ll have to watch me go through it all again, though.”

“God, that’s the hottest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“Yeah? That get you going? The thought of me aging?”

“Nah, Pretty Boy. The thought of us aging together.”

“Wow. When you said we’re saps, you really meant it.”

Billy rolled his eyes, sighing as deeply as he could.

“Can it, Harrington. Or I’ll call the nurse and have you escorted out by security.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t. You’d miss me too much.” Steve pressed another kiss to his bandaged hand before sliding off the hospital bed, sitting back in this chair, scooting it as close as possible to the bed. He rested his elbows on the edge of Billy’s bed, and set his chin in his hands. “So, California, huh? When do we head out there?”

“Remember, like, twenty seconds ago when I said I wasn’t gonna say any more?”

Steve pushed his bottom lip out, making his eyes go big as he pouted at Billy.

“That doesn’t work on me anymore, Baby.” That was absolutely a lie. It worked on Billy nearly every time. But what’s he gonna do, reveal his weakness to Steve? Absolutely fucking not.

“C’mon, Bill. Just like, the year.”

“Nope. Not saying a damn thing.”

“Please?” Steve pouted some more.

“So odd to hear you begging outside of the bedroom.” Billy grinned with his tongue between his teeth as Steve dropped his little pouty face, his cheeks going red. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Steve rolled his eyes. Sailing right past pleading and into petulant.

“Fine. I’ll just rot here until you decide to whisk me away to California. Better make it soon or else I may just die of boredom.”

“Jesus, so fucking dramatic. Didn’t we say we’re gonna make our own memories and shit? You can very well ask me to run away with you.”

“Maybe we should like, go on a date first. So I know you’re not a serial killer before I get in a car with you and drive out of state.”

“You’re so weird.” Steve made a snarky face at him. “But you better be planning our first date. I don’t wanna accidentally repeat the other one. Want us to have our own.”

And Billy felt that overwhelming sense of sadness at losing the memories of the other date, the perfect timid experience. Going to the diner and ordering to go, eating while sitting on the hood of Steve’s car overlooking the quarry, talking for hours and hours.

But he’ll get a new memory. One he’ll cherish just as much, maybe even more, knowing that Steve will cherish the memory too.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll take out. Maybe just metaphorically speaking, as I don’t think you’re in any shape to be going out.”

“Ha ha, Shithead. Just make it nice. You’ve got a lot to live up to.”

Steve rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly as he sighed dramatically.

“If our whole relationship is just you holding me to the impossibly high standard of alternate reality me, then I want out now.”

“Relax. The standard’s not that high.”

Steve made an indignant squawking sound.

Billy just laughed.

“I’m kidding. Just, you know. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble meeting the standard. I fell for you once. I can do it again.”

And Steve’s face went all soft again, and he curled forward to rest his head on Billy’s arm.

“Thirty years. Always thought I’d end up divorced. People tend to get sick of me.”

“Not me. Never got sick of you, never gonna get sick of you. You’re stuck with me.”

“Then you’re stuck with me too.”

#yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove

157 notes · View notes

super-secret-sick-fics · 3 years

Note

hi! i loved your iwaoi fic so much!! if you’re still taking requests, i would love to see more iwaoi!! idc who’s sick but emeto is a yes :) no pressure and thank you! <33

Hi! I hope this is to your liking :)

I can’t promise that I’ll alway respond to requests this quickly or that they’ll always be 1000+ words. I’ve just been in the writing mood recently!!

Usually I hc Oikawa as super super overly-doting as a caretaker, but I think when it comes to Iwa’s migraines, he is so used to them (unfortunately) that he’s just like. “Okay this is what I gotta do.” If that makes sense?

Migraine: an IwaOi sick fic

Pair: sick Iwa, caretaker Oikawa

Word Count: 2,234

Warnings: vomit, swearing, slightly ooc Iwa

——————————————————————

Iwaizumi leaned against the wall of the elevator lethargically. He held the strap of his bag loosely as it leaned against his leg, suddenly too heavy to keep on across his shoulder. Why in the hell he and Oikawa chose to live on the 10th floor was beyond him. He was regretting the decision as each beep of the passing floors sent sharp, stabbing pains through his skull. The prospect of his bed called to him enticingly.

It had been a terrible day.

He woke up late and ran into someone on his way to class, spilling his coffee all over his notes. Then in each one of his classes, he found out that he did the homework for the next class instead of today’s, so when he was called on, he didn’t know any of the answers and each one of his teachers scolded him for not doing the readings.

During his lab, some dude passed out when they were practicing first aid assessment on a dummy who cut open his leg. (Apparently even fake blood was too much for the guy). Which wouldn’t bother Iwa usually, but when the kid fell, he knocked over the iodine and got it all over Iwa’s arm (which was now stained brown).

Then, during his clinicals, he was observing one of the trainers with rehab for a patient who only recently recovered from her shoulder surgery enough to start physical therapy. All he needed to do was watch so he could take notes on different types of treatment plans for shoulders. He was actually pretty relieved after such a rough day.

The universe was out to screw him apparently because the pain was a bit too much for the poor girl and she ended up throwing up down Iwa’s chest.

To top it all off, when he was writing notes for one of the certified trainers a little later, black spots started popping in and out of his vision and his upper arms started tingling. Anxiety immediately settled in his chest. Of course; the only way to end such a terrible day was with a migraine. He had at most thirty minutes from the start of the tingling to get home and take his meds before it became too late.

And of course that didn’t happen.

His notes took longer to finish because of the black spots interrupting his typing and the increasing difficulty he had starting at the blue light of his computer. Then his usual train route was under construction so they took a detour.

Now, here he was, an hour later, standing in the elevator, hating his very existence as the pulsing behind his eyes increased and nausea made his stomach churn.

Finally the doors to his floor opened and he stumbled forward, fighting his vertigo towards his apartment. The hall lights blinded him.

His fingers fumbled with the keys as he leaned against the door and when he finally got the door open, he all but fell inside. He dumped his stuff messily by the door (Oikawa would yell at him later for that) and made a beeline for his bedroom.

Iwaizumi could have cried when he finally got to his room. He didn’t bother with the lights and collapsed onto his bed. His head pounded relentlessly. He curled into a ball and whimpered.

“Iwa-chan? That you?” Oikawa’s bubbly voice from the hall cut through his brain like a knife and he brought his knees even closer.

“Iwa-chan, are you okay?” his voice was closer now. He was most likely standing in the doorway, a hand placed on his cocked hip.

“Migraine,” Iwaizumi moaned. Oikawa was quiet.

“Did you take your meds?” he whispered eventually. Iwaizumi was hella grateful for their life long friendship because Oikawa dealt with this before and knew exactly how to make Iwa more comfortable. Including toning down his usual obnoxious tone.

“Too late,” Iwa responded weakly.

“Tch. That’s not true and you know it,” Oikawa chided softly. Iwaizumi heard him moving around in the room before he felt the bed dip.

“Here. They might not prevent it from happening anymore, but you know as well as I do that it might lessen the symptoms,” he heard Oikawa much closer this time. He groaned in response but sat up.

He clenched in eyes shut to fight off the dizziness before prying them open again to look at Oikawa in front of him. He was holding the water bottle from Iwaizumi’s bedside table and his migraine meds. The look on his face resembled a chastising mother.

“I don’t know if they will,” Iwa said, “the aura started over an hour ago.” He took them anyway.

“You didn’t have anything with you?” He shook his head and winced at the motion.

“What’s on your arm?!” Oikawa screeched and Iwaizumi hissed when it sent sharp pains through his skull.

“Sorry, sorry I’m sorry,” the bastard whispered.

“Just iodine,” Iwa responded and looked down at the brown stains on his arm.

“Oh.”

It was quiet again then and Iwaizumi settled back in bed.

“Wait, do you want to change?” Oikawa asked and stood up. He moved towards the dresser before waiting for a response.

“I want to sleep,” Iwa grumbled, getting increasingly more annoyed. He knew Oikawa was trying to help, but he hasn’t had a migraine this bad in a hot minute and the swirling in his stomach was only getting worse. Throwing up always made it worse, so he wanted to try and avoid that if he could.

“Sit up,” Oikawa said and Iwa would smack him if he had the energy.

“Oikawa, please,” he moaned again. He sat up anyway, his legs dangling off the side of his bed.

Oikawa pulled his shirt gently over his head and replaced it with a soft sweatshirt. It smelled like Oikawa and Iwa felt comforted despite himself. Next his jeans were pulled off almost clinically, as if he would break if Oikawa went too fast or pulled too hard.

Oikawa helped him into a pair of basketball shorts and then finally allowed him to lie down.

Iwaizumi wouldn’t ever say it out loud because it would give Oikawa too big of a head if he knew changing out of his school clothes made him feel just the slightest bit better. His jeans had been adding to the sensory overload.

“We were supposed to meet up with the guys tonight. Want me to cancel?” Oikawa asked, scratching Iwa’s head gently with perfectly manicured nails. It gave him a temporary relief from the pulsing that threatened to crush his head.

“No. You go,” he slurred, falling asleep.

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” Oikawa hummed and continued running his hand through Iwa’s hair. It didn’t stop the pain, but it diminished it enough that eventually, he fell asleep.

***

Iwaizumi woke up with a strangled breath when pain exploded through his skull and down the back of his neck. He blinked a few times, staring into the dark room trying to clear his blurry vision.

This wasn’t right. No, sleep was supposed to make him feel better, but an intense pain covered his entire head. It felt like someone was squishing his brain in between their hands. Why why why.

Suddenly he was nauseatingly dizzy and he realized he was panting, depriving his already struggling brain of precious oxygen. He pulled his knees to his chest and tried to calm down his breathing.

His body didn’t want to give him a break though because as soon as the world righted itself again, his stomach contents swirled sickeningly in his gut. He tried to ride out the nausea. He didn’t want to throw up. That would make the pounding worse. The more he thought about it, the more his stomach turned and he realized he was fighting a losing battle.

In a vain attempt to stay in bed, he thought to try and call Oikawa into the room only to put together that the roaring sound that was hammering nails into his skull was the shower. So he was on his own. He needed to make it to the bathroom. Needed to make it to Oikawa.

With heavy limbs, he forced himself to sit up and almost lost it. He gagged, slapping a hand over his mouth. It pounded in his skull. He swallowed it down and slowly made his way out of bed.

By the time he made it to the bathroom, he almost lost it three times and the pain in his head was unbearable. His eyes stung with tears and he pounded on the door before throwing it open and tumbling into the room. He collided with Oikawa who squawked loudly, painfully. Iwaizumi ignored him and collapsed in front of the toilet.

As soon as he moved his hand away from his mouth, he heaved once and vomit poured from his mouth. It burned the back of his throat and his chest. The torture stopped just long enough for him to catch his breath before he lurched forward with another gag and threw up again. His chest was on fire and the lights in the bathroom seared into his brain and he really just wanted everything to stop.

The sound of the lights clicking off registered through his haze somehow and he opened his eyes (when he closed them, he wasn’t sure). Then, a gentle hand was on his back.

“Oh, Iwa-chan. It’s a pretty bad one this time, huh?” Oikawa said tenderly from beside him. He turned his head slowly and found himself face to face with his best friend. He was wearing pajamas, so he must have gone to change at some point since Iwa entered the bathroom.

Oikawa smiled sympathetically and something in Iwaizumi cracked. Suddenly, the flood gates were open and he found himself launching himself into Oikawa’s chest. Thin arms wrapped around his back as he sobbed.

“It h-hurts s-so b-bad,” he weeped.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry, I wish it didn’t.” Oikawa buried his face in Iwa’s hair.

“You need to calm down though. It’s only going to make you feel worse.”

As if on cue, Iwaizumi’s stomach lurched again and he tore himself away from Oikawa’s arms to wretch once again.

The nausea and pain made him dizzy. He was having trouble keeping himself upright, but thankfully, Oikawa placed a hand on his forehead to keep him from banging it on the toilet seat.

“Shhhh, it’s okay,” Oikawa soothed as Iwa stared into the toilet. His stomach still turned dangerously but he was on the verge of collapse. The tightness in his head only got worse and he really wanted to cut his own head off. He cursed his brain for being messed up and causing him such pain.

He started heaving again, but nothing was coming up and it hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt. Make it stop make it stop make it stop.

“Hajime, breathe,” Oikawa commanded quietly, rubbing between his shoulder blades. It did nothing though. His stomach kept rolling and turning thanks to his stupid stupid head.

Finally, the back of his throat gurgled and a wet hiccup brought up bile and the rest of his lunch. He coughed and sputtered into the toilet and gasped for breath. Maybe it was over.

A minute or two after the episode ended, Oikawa spoke again.

“Ya think you’re done?” He spoke so softly and so tenderly it made Iwa’s heart soft. He nodded.

Oikawa helped him lean back against the wall and a second later, handed him some water and his toothbrush. He lazily rinsed his mouth and brushed the nastiness away before spitting in the toilet. Oikawa flushed it and turned to help him up.

Once he was standing, the pain magnified tenfold and his knees buckled.

“I think I’m gonna pass out,” he mumbled and Oikawa caught him before he could fall.

“Hey, no. Not allowed,” he said and ran a wet wash rag over Iwa’s face (where did he get that?)

“Okay,” Iwa slurred, “not this time.”

“Thank you,” Oikawa chuckled. Together, they made it back to Iwa’s bedroom. Oikawa helped him under his covers and kissed his forehead.

“My poor Iwa-chan,” he sighed and scratched at Iwa’s head again.

“Stay here?” he asked pathetically. Oikawa blinked at him.

“Of course. I’ve already called the guys and told them we weren’t coming,” he said. He walked around the side of the bed and sat against the headboard, nestled beside Iwaizumi. Iwa turned and buried himself in the setter’s stomach and immediately, Oikawa’s hand was running through his hair. He sighed contentedly. This was by far one of his favorite positions.

“Go to sleep, Iwa-chan. Hopefully your migraine will be gone in the morning.”

These migraines really knocked him out. They stripped him of his usual personality and left him a sniveling, pathetic, clingy, mess. But he was a mess Oikawa was familiar with and Iwaizumi was eternally grateful for that. Oikawa knew what he meant when he couldn’t use as many words as he’d like. He knew how to make him comfortable, what foods he could tolerate and how to comfort him. There was no one else that Iwaizumi would ever want around when he got migraines. Hell, there was no one else Iwaizumi wanted around at all. As long as Oikawa was there, he’d be fine.

#sick iwa makes me weak #haikyuu sickfic #my fic #sick iwa #caretaker oikawa #iwaoi #tw vomit #request

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justabunchofcrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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It took me fifteen years, but I have finally realized the tragedy that is the treatment of Jacob Black in the Twilight Series. Hallelujah, I have seen the light. So here's a one shot of Bella making the RIGHT choice after the newborn battle in Eclipse.

Run to You

"You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know." (Haymitch, The Hunger Games)

I was exhausted. Worrying about my family and friends being hurt, or dying, trying to protect me was exhausting. Being a weak, defenseless human surrounded by supernatural creatures was exhausting. Constantly wondering when Edward would realize that I wasn't worth all of this trouble and leave (again) was exhausting. Not recognizing the person I had become; a person who was insecure and needy and selfish, was exhausting. And him. Trying to pretend that I wasn't in love with him was the most exhausting. And I didn't want to do it anymore.

I didn't get very far before driving became impossible. I just needed to make it a little bit farther, just get past the treaty line and then I could pull over to the side of the road. I could take a few minutes to pull myself together and everything would be fine. At least that's what I kept telling myself, but it was kind of hard to see how when the road was blurring in front of me. When I couldn't see anymore, I let my tires find the rough shoulder and roll slowly to a stop. My hands shook as I put my truck in park and then quickly, almost instinctively, wrapped around my stomach, as if trying to hold myself together. Well here we are again, a voice in the back of my brain said. How many times could a person's heart be ripped in half before it refused to heal? I slumped over on the seat and allowed the weakness I'd been fighting crush me. It was worse than I thought. Yes, I had been right to hide this. No one should ever see this. Also, I was pretty sure if he had, he never would have let me go.

I wasn't alone for very long - I didn't even jump when I heard the tapping on the window of the truck. I worked to see through the relentless stream of tears obscuring my vision. There was someone standing outside of the truck, peering in through the driver's side window, probably wondering what the problem was. A blurry glimpse of a bare chest and short black hair caused my heart to clench so hard I gasped before realizing that it was just Quil. He must have been on patrol with some of the other wolves and spotted my truck on the side of the road. I pulled myself up off of the seat and fought with the door handle for a second before I was able to get it open.

"Bella?" Quil asked "Are you okay?" He paused. "Right. Stupid question. Obviously you're not okay. Sorry. Um, shit. What can I do? Do you want me to take you to Jake... or some where else...?" he seemed to tack that last part on with some hesitation, but I appreciated the thought.

What did I need? There were so many ways that I could answer that question. Therapy probably. To stop hurting everyone that I cared about, absolutely. The ability to split myself into two different people, so that I could make both Edward and Jacob happy, would be helpful. But there was only one thing that truly mattered at that moment; the reason why I was here, crying on the side of the road.

"Jacob" the name coming out more like a plea than an answer to a question. And once I started I couldn't stop. The sound of "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob." joined the sounds of sobbing and shaky gasping breaths. I couldn't tell if Quil answered me or not, and after a minute of silence I wondered if he was still there. But then I felt an arm slide behind my back and a hand grip my hip before shifting me to the side so that I was sitting in the middle of the truck's seat. Quil slid behind the wheel and pulled me in to tuck against his side before pulling the truck back onto the road. Normally I would have felt at least a little embarrassed about essentially cuddling up to someone I hadn't really spent that much time with, but Quil was warm and I was so cold. I was so tired of being cold.

Jacob

I was laying in bed when I heard the knock at the front door. Well, knock probably wasn't the right word, it sounded more like someone kicking at the door in an attempt at knocking. The weird knocking wasn't the thing that I noticed the most though. Because what was really weird was that I hadn't heard a car pull up out front first, or even the sound of someone walking up the gravel drive to the front porch. Heightened hearing was one of the perks of the whole turning into a giant wolf thing, so I usually knew right away when someone came to the house. Dr. Fang must've really overdone it on the pain meds this time. He still wasn't sure about the dosage because of my higher than average metabolism and seemed to be going with the trial and error method. Although, if I had to pick, I guess a little stoned was better than being in pain. Or physical pain anyway. The drugs were doing absolutely nothing to stop the thoughts running through my head. Well, one thought, really, repeating over and over, like a broken record. Bella, Bella, Bella…

Billy must have let whoever it was in and by the time I had focused on trying to figure out who it was, my bedroom door was being pushed open. Quil stood in the doorway cradling Bella against his chest and for a second I had a flash of a memory. Bella being carried from the woods by Sam. The haunted look in her eyes. The broken sobs. This was entirely too much like that.

"Bella! What the hell happened?! Is she okay?"

"I don't know man. I was out on patrol and saw her truck on the side of the road. I asked her what was wrong but she just kept saying your name over and over, so I brought her here." Quil hesitated like he wasn't sure what he should do now. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to jump up from the bed and get her. But I was still on "bed rest" until the doc could be sure I wouldn't re injure myself. I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath, attempting to remain calm, "Well bring her here." Quil looked relieved to have some direction and he quickly laid her on the bed next to me before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as she was on the bed Bella curled into my side, still sobbing. I started to wrap my arms around her before remembering that the entire right side of my body was basically useless. I threw my head back against the mattress, cursing quietly out of frustration. Then settled for bringing my left hand up to start rubbing Bella's shoulder and back. "Shh, its okay. I'm here. What happened?" I had hoped that she'd look up, but when did Bella ever make things easy.

"Bells?" I tried again. Still nothing. This time I kept the cursing confined to inside my head. Or I tried to anyway.

"I'm losing my mind here Bells. You've just gotta talk to me. I'm suck here in this damn bed and I can barely fucking move and you're scaring me and I need to at least know if you're hurt. Did he hurt you?" I worked on trying to slow the tremors moving through my body. The doc would be pissed if I phased now and ruined all of his hard work. Plus Bella was freaking out enough and I had to keep it together for her. I still needed her to at least answer my question though, "Dammit Bella, just tell me what he did to you." Still no answer. She was trying to kill me with stress. That was it. That newborn hadn't finished the job, so she was going to do it. "Bella, I swear to god-"

Finally, she answered me, "He didn't hurt me," except that she could only get about one word out at a time, she was crying so damn hard. I waited for her to continue, to explain it so that I could understand, but she was quiet. Well, besides the crying.

"Okay, good, cause all of the broken bones might have made it difficult for me to kick his ass." I joked, hoping to make her laugh, or get angry, anything really as long as she stopped crying. But the tears kept pouring out of her eyes, soaking my shirt while she pulled in great mouthfuls air.

I sighed, "Bells?"

Bella whispered something against my chest, so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. But I was focused now and it sounded like she said, "They're leaving." It took me a minute to process what she was saying, partially because the pain killers made all of my thoughts sort of fuzzy around the edges. "They're leaving?" I repeated it back to her like a question, "Not 'We're leaving.'?" She just shook her head without picking it up.

"So, the Cullens are leaving. Edward is leaving. And you're not going with them." I said the words slowly, not to cause her pain, even though I'm sure it did, but because I had to be sure that I understood. That I wasn't missing something. That the tiny ray of hope that I felt starting to crawl out of the deep, dark corner of my mind where I had buried it wasn't just me setting myself up to get my heart broken (again). Bella sobbed even harder, her gasping breaths broken up by hiccups, as she nodded her head.

So, I guess the bastard couldn't handle the competition after all. I was surprised, I hadn't expected him to give up that easily. And there was the hope again. But I shoved it back down and tried to focus. Because Bella was still crying and making those ugly, broken sounds and it was my job to make her feel better. "Hey, shhh. It'll be okay, honey." I murmured before pressing my lips to the top of her head. My hand continued to rub up and down her arm and across her back. "I'm sorry. Was he mean to you? I didn't mean for you to have to go through that alone. I was thinking I'd be there. And I'm sorry he left you." Bella had gone still, but when she didn't say anything, I continued. "I mean, I'm not sorry that he's gone, but I'm sorry he hurt you. He's an idiot." And then Bella was crying again and I was failing miserably at the whole, making her feel better is my job, thing. "Shit, sorry honey, I guess that's not what you want to hear right now. But IT IS going to be okay." I stressed, because I needed her to believe me. "It sucks right now, but you've gotten through this before. And you don't have to do it alone. I'm gonna be with you the whole time, whatever it takes. Maybe this time won't be as bad because you kinda know what to expect. And I'll be good, I promise. No pressure. I'll be whatever you need me to be. And it'll be okay."

"Wait, stop," Bella interrupted my rambling. She took a deep breath and looked up at me, "Edward isn't leaving because he's mad at me for loving you. He's leaving because I asked him to. Because I'm in love with you." Her voice was all watery from crying and the tears never really stopped, but those words were still the most wonderful thing I'd ever heard. I couldn't have pushed back the hope now even if I wanted to (not that I did want to). Bella picked me. I hadn't realized until just then how much I had been preparing myself to lose. But she had really picked me. I wanted to kiss her and spin her around my tiny bedroom in circles and just show her how happy she made me. Except this wasn't like those stupid fairytale stories that Rebecca had always tried to read to me when we were kids. You know the ones; boy falls for girl, girl says no, boy is persistent, girl finally says yes, and they live happily ever after. Unless I missed the one where the girl was also in love with another boy at the same time and everyone involved got the hearts broken. Oh and one of the boys was a bloodsucking leech and the other turned into a giant wolf. Actually, there probably was one of those Grimm's fairytales that had something like that. But those didn't usually have happy endings.

No, this definitely was not a fairytale, because his girl was crying over another guy, which didn't seem like a great way to start a "happily ever after" even if it was her decision.

He wanted to talk to Bella about all of this. To figure out what she was thinking and where they would go from here, but Bella had gone back to crying into his chest and she had to be exhausted, so he would wait. He had promised to be good, afterall.

Bella

I don't how long I had been lying there, curled into the crook of Jake's arm, but it must have been a while, because he stirred a little and asked, "Hey honey, sorry, but it's getting late and I didn't know if there was somewhere you needed to be... or someone who was going to be looking for you..." he prompted. I managed to convey, after several attempts, that Charlie thought I was spending the night with Alice and that no one else needed to know where I was. He seemed satisfied with that answer and shifted to make himself more comfortable, while still keeping me tucked firmly against his side. I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head and say, "Then you should get some sleep."

He didn't say anything else after that. Just held me on the bed and let me ruin his shirt, staining it with salt water. Eventually, the sobs quieted, but the tears continued to flow steadily. It took longer than I thought it would for that smaller, broken part of me to cry herself out. It happened, though, and I was eventually exhausted enough to sleep. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease. It made it more bearable, but it was still there. I was aware of it, even asleep, and that helped me to make the adjustments I needed to make.

The morning brought with it, if not a brighter outlook, at least a measure of control, some acceptance. Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of me now. Time would make it easier - that's what everyone always said. But I didn't care if time healed me or not, so long as Edward could be happy again. That's what had been missing the last time; the acceptance. It's what had kept me from moving forward. But this time would be different.

When I woke up, there was no disorientation. I opened my eyes - finally dry - and met his anxious gaze.

"Hey," I said. My voice was hoarse. I cleared my throat. He didn't answer. He watched me, waiting for it to start.

"No, I'm fine," I promised. "That won't happen again." His eyes tightened in concern.

"That's great, Bells, but what exactly was that?" He asked.

I took a deep breath, just because I was prepared for this conversation, didn't mean it wasn't going to be painful.

"The Cullens are leaving." I repeated my answer from last night to make sure he had understood what I had tried to tell him while also breaking down. I could see the question in his eyes, so I answered it. "Yes, Edward is leaving too. And no, I'm not going with them." As I spoke I saw a hundred different emotions flicker in Jacob's eyes. The one that seemed to be winning was hope, but then it was like he caught himself and a neutral expression settled over his features. I hated it, he wasn't My Jacob, when he made that face. But I also knew that in this case, I had no one to blame but myself. My hindsight had become incredibly clear. I could see every mistake I'd made, every bit of harm I'd done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I'd caused Jacob, each wound I'd given Edward, stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny.

"I'm sorry." I pushed myself up, using my arm to lean on his chest so that I could meet his eyes. "I've made a real mess of things. I know I've caused you a lot of pain. But I finally realized I was wrong all along." At that, Jacob took a startled breath and looked like he was about to say something. I placed a finger against his lips, and he stopped. "Just let me get this out. I don't want there to be any confusion." His brow furrowed a little, but he waited for me to continue.

"I was wrong about the magnets," I explained. "I used to think about you and Edward as magnets; that you two were like opposite magnetic poles. I couldn't push you together no matter how hard I tried. But it was actually the two parts of myself, your Bella and Edward's Bella, that I was trying to force together. But they could not exist together, and I never should have tried." I could see the hope starting to win out in Jacob's eyes as he said quietly, "I knew you'd figure it out eventually." And the corner of his mouth twitched. "But still, you mind telling me how you figured it out?"

"It was the kiss, before the battle," I paused and made an effort to look stern, "which I'm still mad at you for, by the way. Threatening to kill yourself to make me kiss you?" I raised an eyebrow. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

I didn't have to work to be serious this time, "You will never do that to me again, got it?" Jacob glanced up from beneath his lashes and nodded. That's how I was sure that he knew he had messed up; that and the fact that he didn't try to argue with me at all. I continued, "But that's not the point right now. The point is, that when you kissed me, I saw the whole thing - our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy."

"So what's stopping you?" he whispered.

"I still love him, Jake, and I don't think that'll ever go away. That's not fair to you. There's probably someone out there much better for you." My heart broke a little as I spoke, especially when I considered how much it would hurt now, if he did decide that I wasn't worth all of this trouble.

"No." Jacob shook his head. "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would be effortless for us - comfortable, easy as breathing. I'm the natural path your life would have taken...." The corner of his lips twitched, forming a small smile. "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic..."

I could see what he saw, and I knew he was right. But I needed to make sure he understood fully. "He's like a drug for me, Jake. When I was with him, he was the only thing that mattered. I was ready to give up my life for him. But it's different with you." The corner of my mouth turned up in a wistful half-smile. "Like having my own personal sun. Not a drug, but air. You're healthier for me. So I'm choosing to have the life I want. I'm choosing to stay with Charlie and my mom. I'm choosing to have the chance to change and grow. I'm choosing to stay human. There's still a lot that we need to talk about and I'm going to need time. But I think you were right before when you said that if we had enough time you could help me be happy again. So I'm going to try. I'm going to try to stay here with you. If you decide you still want me, all things considered."

I only had to wait a second for his answer, and then I only had another second to appreciate the breathtaking smile that split his features, before he pulled me to him and crushed his lips to mine.

#twilight renaissance #twilight #jacob black #team jacob

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ramblinganthropologist · 3 years

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MER Week Day 2 - Long time no see

Summary: It’s been a while since Alistair Shepard and Garrus Vakarian have seen each other. They’ve been busy on their separate planets, helping in whatever ways they can to get things back to as normal as they’re going to get. However, with some free time, they’re finally getting to meet back up. Problem is... somebody forgot to mention the testosterone. Whoops. Well, at least Shepard’s got a free offer of carapace ripping from his sister if things go south.

(Set after ME3, enjoy your t4t shakarian lol)

---

Babe: See you at 3 then.

The message still glowed on his screen, burned into his retinas from the night before. It was the last message in a long conversation that had lasted well into hours he should have been sleeping, but it had been worth it. After all, it was important to hash out details when your fiancé was coming to visit.

It was even more important to do so in his circumstances.

“Fuck…”

The words leaked out from between Alistair’s teeth as he glanced around – the time said it was sometime after 2:40. Like always, campus was busy, full of his fellow students going from one class to another. Most of them look tired – and he understood that fully. Between med school and fighting the reapers… some days it could be a toss-up, depending on what he was doing.

Most days, med school won. Maybe that was a good thing? Or maybe he was just a sadist.

Regardless, campus was busy. It was easy to blend into the crowd like this as he sought a seat on a bench under a tree. All he could do was look at the screen of his omni-tool, frowning as he read through the messages.

He shouldn’t have been nervous… but he was.

Maybe that was why he clicked onto a new message window, just as busy as the one with the one he had been glancing at. Even better, the other person was online. Something like hope sprung into his chest as he started typing, fingers flying with the speed of an ex-Alliance officer.

Some things were fading with time – this probably never would.

Al: Where are my anxiety meds when I need them?

Bo: Relax, he’s going to love it. And if he doesn’t, there won’t be anything left to bury afterwards.

Bo: Or whatever turians do when they die.

“Nothing like threatening my fiancé to get me to calm down.” He chuckled despite himself, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. However, a beeping drew his attention. Bo was attempting to video call him, which he was more than happy to accept.

Rannoch was as busy as ever on the other side of the line. He could see quarians and geth in the background, going about their business as his adopted sister focused her camera. Even after tweaking it, she was still a little skewed and not completely in the frame. However, she was allowed to be – her analogue sense of direction had saved his ass. She could be as out of focus as she wanted.

“I mean it, Al.”

He chuckled again. “I know, Bo. I guess I’m just nervous. I mean… we haven’t seen each other before…”

With his free hand, he gestured towards his body. Some days, especially in the early morning when he was half asleep, he was still unable to believe what was actually happened. It seemed more like a dream… at least until his voice cracked. It was doing that far less as his range settled, but still. At his age, it was kind of embarrassing.

Oh well, puberty was rough, especially when it was triggered for a second time in his 30’s.

“Told you that you should’ve sent him more dick pics.” Bo’s tone was flat as a pancake as she adjusted her camera – still out of focus. Now he was getting a view of Rannoch’s currently cloudless sky. Last time he had seen it, it had been full of Reapers. Honestly, he preferred it without them. Much friendlier. “Just relax. You know he thinks you’re hot as hell. All you have to do is use your commander Shepard voice and he’ll be eating out of your hand.”

Alistair felt his face color a little as he looked to the side. “I’m not going to use that in public…”

“You know what I mean. An Adam’s apple isn’t going to turn him off, so no sense worrying about it.” She paused, and he swore her eyes glowed. Maybe that was the camera angle? “And if it does…”

He could already see the threat – beating him with his own carapace was one of her favorites. He had never actually seen someone do it, but it was a classic at that point.

“Yeah, I know - death and calamity upon his head like you’ve only reigned down on the last guy who tried to take your crown.”

“He’s still recovering.” There was pride in her voice at that, and she should have it. After all, it wasn’t every day a human went undefeated in Omega’s underground Krogan wrestling tournaments. Surviving the reapers only brought better challengers, and it seemed to keep her well supplied with cannon fodder. “But anyway, just go for it.”

There was a pause, and her camera focused momentarily. “Also, since when did you start growing a beard?”

Oh, hail the mighty power of testosterone…

“Like two months ago, shaving sucks.” A beeping drew his attention – his heart raced at the sight of a new message. “Gotta go… I think that’s him.”

“Remember, just call me if you need his carapace ripped off.”

After the offer of violent assault, the call disconnected and left Alistair alone with his thoughts as he switched back over to his messages. Just like he thought, the message was from a certain someone he was waiting for. His heart jumped into his throat as he glanced around – nope, not there yet.

Babe: Almost there, got a little lost. I’ll never understand human city planning.

He always said that. Still, it made the ex-marine chuckle as he stood, waiting. Soon enough, they would be together again. It had been far too long, and the distance achingly wide. But now that the relays were working again, it was possible.

Note to self: maybe don’t take out the relays next time he saved the universe. It made travel a nightmare to say the least.

At least it wasn’t a long wait. Out of the corner of his eye, Alistair spotted movement that didn’t quite track for tired med student. It was too focused for that, and the pace was all wrong anyway. Plus, the whole carapace and being like seven feet tall thing helped, but it didn’t sound nearly as cool as the former.

“Alright, just… relax. Like Bo said…”

Of course, that didn’t help the butterflies in his stomach as he stood, adjusting his shirt. All the logic in the world couldn’t have saved him then as he watched the turian approach, clearly scanning the crowd for familiar markers. His heart stopped when their eyes met in the crowd, blue into blue.

Garrus was looking good for someone who had nearly died killing Reapers.

“Al?”

There was no mistaking the surprise in the turian’s voice as he made his way over to the tree. When he finally got there, his mandibles flapped like flags in the wind. The gears were turning in his brain, no doubt running countless calibrations. In a weird way, it was kind of cute.

At the same time, it was fucking nerve wracking. Talk about a conflict of interest.

Still, it was Garrus, and he was finally there. That was enough to put a smile on Alistair’s face as he reached out to take the turian’s taloned hand. It was just as rough and warm as he remembered, and his fingers still stretched as they laced together. It might have been a little sore, but muscle memory wasn’t letting him down.

“Hey, babe. Good to see you got here in one piece.”

Thank the universe his voice didn’t crack with that one. Maybe this was the thanks he got for saving it.

At least Garrus had the good grace to not look as though his jaws had stopped working. Alistair did get to watch his eyes travel downward in the classic once-over, though. All the while, his stomach bubbled. It felt as though a heavy weight was poised to drop on his head, and all he could do was stand there and wait.

Eventually, the turian squeezed back carefully, the blunt side of his talons sliding down his fingers. “So, I guess this is why you’ve been so shy about video calling me lately?”

“My voice was cracking really badly up until about a month ago, you were saved a lot of translator feedback.” He smiled, sheepish. “But… yeah. I didn’t really know how things were going to turn out and…”

His voice trailed off as he felt heat leak into his cheeks. “Here’s hoping you still think I’m hot?”

Yep, his voice definitely cracked at the end there. Maybe the universe had it in for him after all. At least Garrus didn’t wince too hard at the sudden shift – good old turian military training there. Still, he hadn’t said anything yet. That… wasn’t promising.

Maybe he should have sent those dick pics?

“You… what’s that called again?” Garrus cocked his head to the side in a gesture that always made him look cute and kind of bird-like. “On your face. Joker was always talking about his.”

Right, turian…

“Beard. And mine’s not quite as good as his yet I’m afraid but give me a few months and I’ll see what I can do.” He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, fingers ghosting over his amp. It hadn’t seen action in almost a year now, and it was still odd to feel it cool to the touch.

Much to his relief, Garrus nodded. “It looks good now. I mean, you look good in general and all… I thought turian reactions to hormones were impressive, but humans are something else.”

“Gotta love those secondary sexual characteristics, babe.” Relief flooded through Alistair’s system as he sighed in relief. “And I think you just saved yourself getting your carapace ripped off by my sister.”

Hooray – that would have been a nightmare to fix.

Now it was the turian chuckling as he reached down to press his faceplates to his forehead in an alien version of a kiss. It was a gesture that always got his heart racing, even if it was just a quick peck. He had missed that in their time apart – texting just couldn’t beat actual contact.

“That’s probably for the best. I’ve not had a lot of practice lately, might be getting a little rusty.”

Alistair chuckled as they started to walk through the crowd. “You, rusty? I find that hard to believe.”

“Oh, no, it’s true. Barely had any time to run calibrations even, I’m starting to worry I’ll forget.”

That time, they shared a laugh between them. Maybe this was what Alistair had missed the most in the time spent on different planets – there was just something about the interplay between human and turian laughter that made his insides feel warm. Or maybe that was just his reaction to Garrus in general. Right then, anything was possible.

Still, he felt his face color a little as he looked to the side. “I’m sorry I didn’t send any in-progress shots. Bo could confirm any embarrassing details if you asked her.”

“Trust me, I get it. Remind me when we get back to your place to tell you about how I didn’t tell my sister I was going on hormones until after she came back from basic.” Another squeeze. “Of course, if you wanted to test that new vocal range out in some more strenuous conditions first…”

Oh, there was nothing friendly about that gaze. And it was something Alistair could appreciate as he squeezed back. Home was well prepped for what they both had in mind – they just had to get there first. Lucky for him, he lived within walking distance of campus.

The chuckle that escaped his lips was definitely not of the innocent afternoon type as he leaned in so only the turian could hear him. “I think that can be arranged, Vakarian. Better pick up the pace, though.”

“Sir, yes, sir.”

With that, it was off they went at a faster rate, not quite a run but definitely quick. With the sun shining and thoughts about what was waiting for him when he got home, Alistair was once again glad the whole universe saving thing had worked out for the better.

Now… what exactly was he going to do with the turian when he got home? The options were endless…

#merweek2021 #Alistair Shepard #garrus vakarian #ft. Bo Peep Shepard

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riotfuckery · 4 years

Text

The fine line

Bakugo Katuski x lionshifter!F!Reader

A/N: Hello beautiful readers!!! Back again with a kinda shitty Bakugo x reader! Characters are 18+!! I have no idea how to write him so this is my first attempt. It’s kinda smutty but nothing too crazy. Just sexy descriptions and another badly described make out. PM me if you wanna be tagged in any of my stuff! Enjoy darlings! 🥰

Taglist: @queensynderella @trafalgar-temptress @birds-have-teeth @kingtamakimurder @thedreadthread

Warnings: sexy descriptions, implied sexy time, a badly described make out, getting called kitty, and calling Bakugo sexy and sinful

Thank you for all the love and support senpais💖💖

»»————-💥————-««

Blood boiled in your bodies as Bakugo panted on top of you. Both your wrists tightly held in one of his large hands as he pinned them to the ground. His mouth watering smell of smoky burnt caramel filled your senses as your own breathing became heavy.

Red eyes glared into yours menacingly, the feral smirk widening on his face as he leaned closer. He was silently challenging you, daring you to do something while you were in such a helpless position. The fire in your belly threatening to burn you alive as the blush on your face betrayed you, growling at him.

“Win goes to Bakugo. Next pair step up.” Aizawa’s tired voice called out from the edge of the ring.

Sparring. The one thing you can’t beat Bakugo Katsuki in. It frustrated you to no end, you were good at hand to hand combat, even beating Izuku and Shoto a few lucky times. But you could never beat him.

Everything about ‘Lord Explosion Murder’ pissed you off. The awful comments he made, the god complex he had, how he was always yelling, but the thing you hated the most about him was how fucking sexy he was.

Piercing crimson eyes on his handsome face paired with a body carved out of marble made by god herself drove you insane. The cherry on top of this sundae being the way he smelled. He smelled sweet, smoky, and sinfully delicious. It never failed to set a sweet fire in your gut while your blood boiled.

He moved off you and joined the bakusquad while you sat up and rubbed your sore wrists. You were still panting, the long sparring set you just had made you tired. Trying every move in the book, you placed your concentration into finding a way to throw him off. You couldn’t.

“Y-you did great out there (y/n)-chan!” Izuku’s sweet voice grabbed your attention, breaking out of your oncoming rage and frustration. He stood in front of you shyly with his hand out.

“Thanks Izu, I really appreciate it.” You smiled softly at him, grabbing his hand to help you stand up and continuing to hold it for a moment. Freckled cheeks turned pink at your pet name and the skin to skin contact. You gave his hand a quick squeeze before letting go and joining your friends with Izuku right at your side.

You both joined Shoto, Ochacko, and Tenya aka the dekusquad. You were friendly with everyone but you found your home in the dekusquad. They were kind, non judgmental, and overall good people.

You were immediately friends with Izuku from day 1. Your quirk wasn’t special but the species you shifted into was. The queen of the jungle, none other than a lioness. You had different forms, ranging from lion-girl to full blown big cat.

You were a force to be reckoned with. Armed with powerful muscles, excellent hunting skills, sharp eyes, sharp canines, an instinct to protect, and even sharper claws; you aimed to be hero. The skills and instincts you had earned you a spot in the top hero class of UA.

Izuku was your favorite and despite how powerful he was, you couldn’t help but dote on him. Large green eyes and chubby freckled cheeks awoken the lioness in you. You saw him as the the baby, even though he was taller than you.

Gently purring to him and running your fingers through his green curls were your favorite things to do in your spare time. Another reason you hated Bakugo, he hated on Izuku for no reason.

Verbal fights with Bakugo were a daily thing, continuing well into your 3rd year. Screaming and swearing at each other about the other persons attitude was just another part of your routine. You couldn’t stand the way he insulted your poor green bean.

“STUPID DEKU, I’M GONNA BE THE NUMBER ONE HERO! A NERD LIKE YOU CAN’T GET TO THE TOP NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!” Bakugo’s rough voice insulted Izuku in the classroom.

Your golden lion ears twitched at the loud volume and irritation. Rage filling your nervous system as slitted (e/c) eyes med red ones, narrowing at each other. If he wanted a fight, I’ll fuckin give him one.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, BLASTY! WITH A NASTY ATTITUDE LIKE YOURS I DOUBT YOU’LL MAKE TOP 10!” You yelled back.

Standing up, you moved to stand in front of a terrified looking Izuku with claws out and teeth bared. You were willing to throw hands with anyone who would insult your classmates and Izuku was no exception.

Kirishima was already up and at Bakugo’s side, frantically trying to calm him down. Ochacko was doing the same at your side while Tenya was in the middle yelling and chopping away about fighting in the classroom.

“Please (y/n)-Chan! Dont start a fight in the classroom, you don’t want to wake up Aizawa-Sensei do you?” Ochako nervously spit out as she held your arm tightly with pinkies raised. The sound of popping from his one of his palms as the cursed scent of smoky caramel wafted through the room.

Never once breaking eye contact from each other, you decided it wasn’t worth it. With a growl, you retracted your claws and crossed your arms, challenging him to back away with slitted eyes. A rough ‘Tch’ came from Bakugo as he walked away and headed back to his seat, kicking his feet up on the desk like he always does.

Your brow raised for a moment in confusion. ‘How weird, he normally keeps going until we’re nearly throwing punches. Oh well, can’t look a gift horse in the mouth.’ Was the thought running in your head. Brushing it off, you turned towards Izuku to make sure he was okay.

“T-thank you for defending m-me (y/n)-Chan. You really didn’t have to, I’ll beat Kacchan one day fair and square!” He started nervously but ended with determined tone.

You smiled softly and let out a low purr at the greenette. He was so adorable that you couldn’t stop yourself from cooing at him.

“I know Izu, but you don’t have to have to take his bad attitude laying down. You’ll be a great hero one day.” You said as you gave a pat to the wild green curls on his head.

He blushed at the small act of affection, covering his face with his arms as he placed his head down on the desk. A light chuckle escaped you at how shy he was around girls.

»»————-💥————-««

Two weeks passed by since your last fight with Bakugo and it wildly confused you. He didn’t pick on Izuku as much and a quick glare from you shut him up.

‘No fights? No screaming at each other? Why? We’re usually at each other’s throats. Maybe he’s been tired.’ You tried to rationalize to yourself as you sat next to Uraraka at lunch. It’s been quiet on the war with Bakugo, so quiet that it made you suspicious.

Lunch went by normally, making talk of studies and upcoming events with them. Just having a nice time with the dekusquad. Something just kept on bugging you on the inside, making you unable to to fully relax and eat your food.

Wanting to head up to the roof, you bid your goodbyes to everyone early. You needed fresh air to clear your mind. Throwing away your lunch and walking through the quiet halls eased the restlessness. You climbed up the old staircase and opened the creaky door to the roof.

It was empty, thankfully. With a sigh, you propped open the door with your school bag and padded your way to the middle of the roof.

Standing there for a moment, you inhaled the fresh air and relished in the quiet sounds of the city. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and focused.

The faint smell of the city mixed with foresty smelling winds put your unease at rest for now. Ears relaxing at the familiar sounds of cars driving by and students chatting about in different classrooms. You felt peaceful.

You stretched out your muscles, sighing when you heard the pops of your joints. Deciding to take a seat, you gently placed yourself down and bathed in the sun. It wasn’t too hot today and the light breeze kept it cool.

Quietly bathing in the sun, you were thankful for this peace. You knew you had 10 mins before the bell rang to go to class so you relaxed in the few minutes you had.

Unfortunately, peace never lasts. Loud and heavy footsteps came from the stairway, pulling you out of your little zen bubble. Those steps only met one person and it was the last one you wanted to be alone with right now. With a groan, you pulled yourself up and stood facing the doorway with crossed arms.

The door was roughly kicked open, causing the rusty hinges to squeak loudly. Golden ears twitched in response as slitted (e/c) eyes met red ones once again. ‘OF COURSE BAKUGO HAD TO DISTURB MY PEACE! WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE HIM!’ You screamed in your head while maintaining a poker face.

“Hey, you dumb cat. I gotta talk to you.” His rough voice called out. A last ditch effort to confess his feelings for you after a lot of convincing from the bakusquad.

You rolled your catlike eyes. ‘Dumb cat, that stupid nickname. I guess it could be worse’ you internally shrugged.

“Okay, and what do you need to say?” You quipped back, already fed up with this conversation.

“Tch! I like you, you dumb cat.” He mumbled, gritting his teeth and looking away with his hair covering his eyes. You spotted pink scratching at his cheeks.

Your brain crashed like an old computer. Standing here for a moment, you looked at him shocked.

‘Bakugo fucking Katsuki LIKES ME?!?!?!? WHAT? WHEN? WHY?! HUH?!?!’ Questions were flying through your head faster than the speed of light. All in a failed attempt to figure something, anything about this situation.

“HUH?!” You screamed out, it was all you can manage to get out with this newfound information.

“Do you need me to say it again, you stupid cat?!” He yelled out, cheeks now bright pink and body language screaming that he was clearly embarrassed.

“No Bakugo, I heard you just fine-“ you started, all the questions you had loading up like a bullets in a magazine.

“Katsuki” he interrupted.

Too frazzled to question it, you just kept going. “Uh- okay, Katsuki. I heard you just fine. But WHEN? WHERE? HOW? WHY?!?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? I THOUGHT WE HATED EACH OTHER?!” You yelled, still overwhelmed and clearly confused.

In your confused daze, he managed to strut his way right in front of you. Now face to face with with him made you even more confused. He brought his hand to your face and placed two fingers under your chin, tilting your head up and making you look at him. You stopped mid sentence, surprised by his bold move.

“I like you, dumb cat, because you’re strong. You don’t back down from a fight, you don’t take anyone’s shit, you’re a kickass fighter, and last but not least, you’re one sexy little kitty.” He smirked, his gravelly voice dropping a few octaves.

Dumbfounded and flustered was an UNDERSTATEMENT to how you felt. The sinful smell of smoky caramel once again started to cloud your senses as his burning red eyes gazed at you. A blush erupted on your cheeks at his praises but you held your ground. ‘I guess the line between hate and attraction was finer than I thought.’ You thought before you decided to believe him.

Managing to fight off the haze for a moment longer, you looked up at him. (E/c) eyes searched his own for anything besides the truth. Katsuki was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar.

The haze once again came back as he moved his hand from your chin to your cheek, caressing it gently and almost protectively. His hand was large and very warm, it made you melt despite the red hot blush on your face.

He leaned in so close your lips were brushing. You flickered your gaze from his eyes to his lips, they looked slightly chapped but plush despite his rough mannerisms and attitude. Oh how you would love to find out if he tasted as good as he smelled.

“Fuck it” you whispered, throwing caution to the wind before gently placing your lips on his. His lips were surprisingly skilled and tasted faintly of caramel. Eyes fluttering closed as the space between your bodies decreased.

The gentle kiss quickly became heated, his tongue prying your soft lips open as his large hands ran down your body and gripped your hips to bring you closer to him.

Tongues wrestled each other as you ran you hands up his clothed torso and made their way into his spiky blonde hair. It was soft, despite the style he sported. You let out a low purr at his actions, rough and incredibly dominant as he explored your cavern.

You gave it his hair a light tug to test the waters, earning you a low growl from him. You pulled away for much needed oxygen, now both of you panting and wildly blushing.

“So the great ‘Lord Explosion Murder’ couldn’t handle his feelings so he had to go picking fights with the girl he likes for attention huh?” You teased with a cocky smirk that rivals his.

“Shut up” he growled as he grit is teeth and looked to the side in sad attempt to cover up his embarrassment.

You slid your finger to his cheek and pushed his face till he was facing you once again. The smug smile on your face still plastered on there as you leaned closer to him.

“Why don’t you make me, Katsuki~” you purred, sharp teeth glinting in the light and a teasing playful smile on your face.

Another growl came in response as he crashed his lips against yours in a frenzied hungry kiss. Needless to say, you both didn’t make it to class on time.

BONUS: Aftermath

Various chatter from male students rang about the boys lockeroom as they switched from costumes to uniforms.

As Katsuki pulled his shirt off, long red and almost painful looking scratches were sitting on his muscular back.

“Woah! Bakubro! What happened to you?” The red puppy known as Kirishima asks concerned. Bless him for being so innocent.

“Just ran into a dumb cat, shitty hair. Don’t worry about it.” He spoke nonchalantly, well as nonchalant as he could get.

No one spotted the ever so victorious smirk on his face as he pulled his uniform shirt on.

#bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo smut #bakugo x you #bakugo x y/n #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo katsuki #kinda smutty???#bhna fanfiction #bhna imagine #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #mha fanfiction #im new to writing this boy so plz be kind #katsuki bakugo smut

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thejolexgroupchat · 3 years

Text

the one where they met in med school - part five

Jo is going through something and Alex is going to figure out what it is

Check out our Master List for parts 1-4 as well as other jolex fics we've been working on!

———

(May 2007)

Seattle Grace is a disaster zone full of lovesick, horny patients and doctors. It’s like Alex cannot turn a corner without finding someone hooking up or getting hit on. At first, he thinks he’s imagining things because there’s no way that Doctor Montgomery is staring at him like he’s a fresh piece of meat and she’s a hungry lion. They see each other almost everyday as he helps Ava recover and everyday the woman stares him down like she wants to jump him.

And that’s another thing, he was pretty sure that Ava is trying to hit on him too. He knew he was good looking and that his rare soft side has been on full display lately, but for fuck’s sake even his patients? Ava was easier to handle than Addison, but both women were giving him a run for his money.

“You know, I think she’s trying to get in your pants,” Ava’s voice startled him as he looked up from her chart, brows furrowing as he looked at her. “Doctor Montgomery. She keeps looking at you with those sex eyes, like if I wasn’t here she’d be all over you.”

Well at least he isn’t crazy… Alex heaved a sigh and closed the chart, meeting Ava’s eyes with a smirk, “She can stare all she wants, I am off the market and not interested in one of my superiors dragging me into a supply closet for a quick hookup.”

He could tell Ava was shocked. Who in this death trap isn’t by the fact that Doctor Evil Spawn is tied down? She paused for a moment before a laugh came out, eyes falling to her hands that lay over her swollen belly, “Figures, I knew you were too handsome to be single. Does she work here too? It seems like everyone in this hospital is screwing.”

“No she’s back in Boston, she’ll be here in a few weeks though,” just saying the words out loud makes Alex’s heart flutter. Both Jo and Lexie had been accepted to the next class of interns at Seattle Grace, meaning that as soon as they walked across the stage in June they’d be flying across the country to Seattle. “It’s been too damn long, we’ve been doing long distance for almost a year now.”

“A year? Do you see her ever? I’m sure you’re super busy here,” Ava seemed genuinely curious about Alex and Jo’s relationship, a refreshing take compared to his friends that only asked if he was getting laid or not.

“Yeah we’ve both been out to see each other a few times. I just went there in March actually. It’s not enough, though. It’s not the same,” his mind now occupied with thoughts of his girlfriend, Alex said goodbye to Ava and left her room. He wasn’t even through the doorway of an on-call room before he dialed Jo’s number and waited for her to answer. “Hey you, how’s your day?”

“Fine.”

The one word answer stopped Alex’s heart. Usually, Jo was more than ready to rant about classes or tell him something exciting that she saw on campus. Instead, her monotone voice and lack of words scared him.

So he did the only thing he could think of and decided to call Lexie. The phone went to voicemail twice before it was answered, “Alex what’s going? I’m at work.”

“What’s wrong princess? Bad day?”

“No it’s just been long,” Jo sighed, her voice seeming even further away. “I have a headache, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry babe, if it makes you feel better, one of my patients thinks that my boss is trying to screw me,” Alex’s voice was light hearted as he tried to cheer Jo up, but her frustrated sigh on the other end of the line told him that she didn’t find the situation amusing. “Look, I’m sorry. I thought it was a funny story but-”

“Hey, Lexie. I’m sorry, but is Jo okay?”

“What?” Lexie scrunched her face. “That’s why you’re calling me? I have to get back to the lab.”

“Don’t hang up! It’s just… I called her a few minutes ago and she was acting weird. She was giving me short answers and then she hung up on me. She sounded stressed and nervous. Not school stressed either. I’m worried,” Alex explained.

“I know you two have been together for years, but it still kind of freaks me out whenever I hear you talk like this… Now that you mention it though, Jo has been acting off. Normally she’s really chatty in the evenings, but lately she’s been distracted.”

"Did something happen?" Alex asked.

"Not that I know of… should I get off work early and go check on her?"

"No, it's fine. I'll take care of it. Thanks Lexie," Alex hung up the phone and decided to look for Bailey.

“I gotta go, I’ll call you later,” the line went dead before Alex could say anything else, leaving him to stare down at the phone in his hands in shock. No matter how angry or upset his girlfriend has been she’d never hung up on him like that, not even during their big blowout fight a few weeks before.

After a few minutes of running around the hospital, he finally found Bailey sitting behind the nursing station giving Izzie some instructions about a patient's post-op care, "Dr. Bailey can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Say what you need to say, Karev. Stevens and I are very busy today. I don't have time to waste," Bailey replied without looking up from her charts.

Alex looked up at Izzie who just shrugged and motioned for him to speak, "I need the rest of the day off, the next few days actually."

Bailey looked up from the chart she was writing in, an unimpressed expression on her face, "Excuse me?"

"I know we're swamped and I'm on Ava's case, but I really just need a couple days. There's been a family emergency and I need to catch the next flight to Boston," Alex looked at Bailey expectantly.

"Is everything okay?" Izzie asked, concerned.

"I don't know. I couldn't really get a lot of information over the phone, but I need to get to Boston as soon as possible. Please," Alex waited for a couple seconds for Dr. Bailey's response.

"You are lucky I like you," Bailey mumbled. "Go Karev, get out of here. You have three days. Call me if it's really bad and you need more."

Alex nodded in thanks and ran to the locker room to collect his things. By the time he arrived at the airport, an hour had passed since he left the hospital. He ran up to the ticket counter and asked for the next flight to Boston. It was pricey, but the plane would leave in an hour, meaning Alex had to be quick if he wanted to make it in time for boarding.

The rest of the time in between him getting to Boston was a blur. When his plane touched down, it was midnight on the east coast. He called a cab and hopped in, giving them Jo’s address. It was 12:37am when he finally arrived. Alex walked up the steps to the apartment and knocked on the door. There was a shuffling on the inside before the door opened.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jo’s eyes widened as she opened the door. She looked like shit, her eyes were red and puffy and she was dressed in one of Alex’s dark blue flannels and some pajama shorts.

“I was worried about you, you didn’t sound okay when I called,” Alex watched Jo’s bottom lip tremble as she held back tears, his hands coming up to hold her shoulders as she looked up at her. “Jo, what’s wrong?”

Jo tried to open her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Instead a sob broke from her throat, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as Alex pulled her into his embrace. His hands rubbed her back slowly as he attempted to quiet her sobs.

“Jo what’re you- Alex? What the hell,” Alex looked up and met Lexie’s eyes behind Jo, hers softening as she glanced at her friend who was still crying. “She wouldn’t tell me anything, she’s been crying on and off since I got home.”

“Come on babe, let’s get you to bed,” Alex pulled back from Jo just long enough to hook his arms under her legs so he could carry her to her bedroom. She made no protests as she nuzzled further into Alex’s chest, her silence throwing him off as they settled into bed together. “I’ll be here in the morning, you just sleep.”

Jo’s sobs had turned into sniffles as she pressed her face into the crook of Alex’s neck. She was never a big cuddler when they would sleep together, most of the time Alex would be fighting her for room on the mattress as she starfished across it. That’s how Alex could tell something wasn’t right, the way that Jo was curled up into a ball pressed as close to him as possible told him everything he needed to know.

Somewhere around 3am, Alex felt Jo poke him in the side. He opened his eyes and looked at the face of the woman he loved only to find her usual joyful demeanor replaced with one of fear. He watched as Jo took a deep breath, “We need to go to the store.”

“The store? For what? Jo, it’s three in the morning. Is anything even open right now?” Alex furrowed his brow.

“There’s a twenty-four hour CVS a couple blocks away,” Jo lifted her head from its place on Alex’s chest and moved to get out of bed. “I just really need to get something from the store.”

“Jo, the store can wait. We can go in a few hours,” Alex tried reasoning with her.

“It can’t wait!” Jo exclaimed as tears began to trickle down her face again. “It can’t wait Alex. We need to go right now.”

“Okay, we’ll go now. Just calm down for me,” Alex placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I’m going to get dressed. Give me two minutes.”

By the time they arrived at CVS, it was 3:23am. Alex made a move to exit the car when Jo placed a hand on his arm, “No! Stay here. I’ll go alone.”

“What? No, Jo it’s three in the morning. I’m not letting you go into the store alone,” Alex protested.

“There’s nobody here. I will be fine,” Jo opened the car door. “Besides, I know how to take care of myself. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

Alex was extremely confused. He had no idea what the hell was wrong with his girlfriend, but he knew it wasn’t good. In the years he’d known her, Alex had never seen her like this. He tried racking his brain for any possible thing that could’ve led her to acting like this but he came up blank.

Jo entered the car with a plastic bag in her hands, breaking him from his thoughts. He looked over at her, “You good?”

“Yeah,” Jo’s voice and face despondent. “Just drive the car.”

“Okay…”

As they walked back into her apartment, Alex gave Jo a worried look. She’d been silent the entire car ride and Alex basically had to drag her up the stairs to the apartment. He sighed, “Jo, come on. It’s been hours since I got here and you still haven’t told me anything. I left the hospital early and asked for the next three days off because I know you are not okay. I know something is wrong and I’m worried about you. Please, I love you. I am here. Let me help you.”

Wiping a couple stray tears from her face, Jo pulled Alex into the bathroom and locked the door. She handed him the bag containing what she’d just purchased from CVS.

Alex’s eyes widened as he removed what was inside the bag, “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Jo swallowed nervously. She leaned against the sink and closed her eyes. “Now you know why I’m acting so weird… I’m freaking out here, Alex.”

Alex looked from the unopened pregnancy test box in his hand back to Jo, “It’s okay. Everything is going to be fine Jo. You’re going to take the test and I’m going to be right here the entire time. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what this test says.”

“Can you just… go in the hallway while I pee,” Jo’s voice was quiet and far away as she looked up at Alex. Their eyes met and they both took in the same expression of fear that the other wore.

Alex nodded and left the bathroom, sliding down the wall of the hallway as he waited for what seemed to be forever for Jo to finish. His mind was racing, heart hammering in his chest as he played the last two months over in his head. If Jo was… it had to have happened when he came out in March. They’d been careful, they were always careful, but the trip had been short and sweet and they’d spent most of their time in bed.

“It says wait three minutes,” Alex is startled out of his train of thought by Jo’s voice, her figure now standing in front of him with a solemn expression. She had thrown on one of his Iowa State sweatshirts in her haste to get out the door, the fabric hanging loosely off her body as she sat on the ground and dragged herself into Alex’s waiting arms. “I’m scared, Alex.”

“Hey if it is positive you’re already heading to Seattle in a few weeks anyways. We can work it out,” Alex brushed his fingers through Jo’s hair as he pulled her close, his lips pressing into her forehead. “I love you, no matter what happens I’m always gonna love you.”

Jo nodded her head, but didn’t speak anymore. Alex felt terrible, she’d probably been carrying this around for a few days by herself while he was clueless on the other side of the country. The past year had been hell on earth for him, but he took a little comfort in the fact that in just a few short weeks they’d be waking up next to each other again.

“I’m late, like stupid late, and I haven’t been able to keep food down all week,” Jo’s voice was muffled as she pressed herself further in Alex’s chest, his fingers rubbing against her back in slow circles as her breathing became more erratic. “I’m so freaking stupid, I can’t believe this. I’m so dumb.”

Brows furrowed, Alex looked down at his girlfriend in worry. He’d never seen her this upset about something, leading him to believe that an unexpected pregnancy wasn’t the only thing clouding her mind at the moment, “You’re not stupid, I was there too. If anything I’m the stupid one.”

Jo sniffled, one hand coming up to wipe at her cheeks as she met Alex’s gaze. He’d never seen her so devoid of emotion, her face blank as she blinked up at him, “I’m ruining your life. I should’ve just let you go to Seattle without being tied to me because now you’re gonna be stuck with me and all this shit. You don’t deserve any of this.”

Alex’s face softened, his hands coming up to cradle Jo’s face tenderly. She was sitting here waiting for the results of a pregnancy test and she was worried about him instead of herself.

“Babe, you didn’t ruin anything, you never could. I’m not here because you’re forcing me to, I’m here because I want to be and because I love you,” brushing back her hair, Alex leaned his forehead against Jo’s. “No matter what happens, nothings going to change how I feel about you. Okay?”

“Can… Can you go look? Please.”

Rising from the floor, Alex walked into the bathroom and stared down at the three tests laying across the counter. Hands braced on the countertop, he let out a sigh as he looked back to Jo.

“Negative. All three are negative.”

Jo released the breath she had been holding, “Oh thank God… okay… okay.”

Alex stood silent for a moment and watched as Jo allowed a few tears to slide down her face. He crouched down next to her, one of the tests in his hands, “See. They’re negative. You’re probably just stressed about finals. It’s all good, we’re okay.”

“I’m relieved that it’s negative. I really am. We can’t handle this right now,” Jo spoke after a couple moments of silence. She looked up at Alex, eyes shining with unshed tears. “But… Is it wrong that I’m a little disappointed, though?”

Alex raised his eyebrows in surprise at her words. He and Jo never really talked about kids. It wasn’t something that was on either one of their radars. They were content with just the two of them. Alex had always assumed that he and Jo would be together until one or both of them died from old age. He didn’t need anything other than to have her by his side.

On top of all that, he didn’t think Jo wanted kids. Neither of them had very good upbringings, but Jo definitely had it worse than he did. Even though she’d never verbalized it, he knew she was afraid of being a bad mom to their hypothetical child. He supposed it was similar to the fear he had about being a horrible father, given his own history with crappy dads.

Alex's mouth twitched slightly, "It's not wrong. There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointed."

"I know, but we've never talked about it," Jo shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't even know I wanted it until just now. I've never thought about it. I've always assumed that I'd never find someone who'd want to do that with me."

That's when Alex understood. Even after three years, Jo still expected that one day he'd leave her. She thought that one day, he'd find someone better—as if that person existed—and she'd be alone. Jo didn't understand the concept of forever, she'd never had anyone stick around. It was a bit of a wake up call for him. Alex realized that he'd never been clear with his intentions.

“I guess this is my fault,” Alex rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. “I’ve never said my intentions out loud because I thought they were all so obvious. I didn’t think they needed to be vocalized, but I’m not going anywhere. This ‘someone who would want to do that with you’ you thought you’d never find is me, Jo. I want it all with you. You are my home, and I never wanna go anywhere without you, do you hear me?”

Alex lifted Jo’s chin to make sure she was looking into his eyes. He noticed hers were full of tears and knew it was probably because nobody had ever said that to her before. Pulling her closer, he placed a kiss on her head, “And you don’t need to feel guilty about being disappointed.”

He moved his head so their foreheads touched, “Someday, when the right time comes, we’re gonna have a family to call our own. Until then, it’ll be just us, but we won’t need anybody else. We’re the only family we need, right? You and me,” Alex smiled, earning a smile and a chuckle from her. “We’re gonna have it all, Jo” he said.

“Someday,” Jo looked at him from the corner of her eyes with a shy smile.

Alex pulled her into a meaningful kiss, “Someday.”

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fictional-lvr · 3 years

Note

idk it’s the mental illness in me or if others do this too but whenever i’m upset i imagine pete comforting me ajsjsnsjns

do u mind doing some hcs on that? 💗💗💗

UGH i do the same thing, dw, its definitely the mental illness

omg he’s always so calm about it so he doesn’t overwhelm you

he always knows exactly what to do because chances are he's felt the exact same way before

“you took your meds right?”

“how about we take a nap together, yeah? alright, ill go grab one of your stuffed animals ill be right back”

omg imagine him walking in on you in a depressive episode and he just comes over and holds you and puts on a Disney movie without even saying anything

“c’mon, at least drink some water, please?”

omgomg he would like come up and hold you and give you a bunch of kisses all over

“i’ve gotchu, don’t worry”

would 100% let you cry into his chest for forever

“hello? yeah, I can’t come into work today. Oh uhm my s/o feels pretty shitty so I need to stay with them today. Okay yeah I understand that but I just need to stay with them today. Look dude, I’m gonna stay with my severely depressed s/o whether you like it or not, get back to me when you live with someone with a debilitating mental illness”

would just sit there and play with your hair if that's what you wanted him to do

“You wanna talk about it? Yeah? Alright, tell me all about it”

“You wanna talk about it? No? okay, c’mere, lets watch somethin’“

“i love you too, you sappy fucker”

“and you said you did take your meds? you haven’t missed any?”

omg him rUnning into the room with tons of blankets and pillows and stuffies yelling “I GOT ALL YOUR SOFT STUFF”

“drink. the fucking. water.”

omg him showing you funny shit on his phone just to get you to smile

“Yo, colson, you wanna come over? Yeah Y/N is just having a shitty night, thanks man, bye. oh, bring some weed”

omg imagine you being all soft and clingy when you feel bad and he lowkey loves it because you’re so touchy and lovey

“babe? i got something that I gotta get done, wanna come sit on my lap while I do it, though?”

“jesus christ please just drink the water you little mush brain”

“okay, hear me out, isn’t it like, a thing that orgasms release the good brain chemicals n’ shit? I mean, it’s worth a shot”

“hey. look at me. i love you”

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falling-pages · 4 years

Text

I’m just protective: Part 2/2

Hikaru x reader, with a little bit of Kaoru

Hey y’all, back again with part 2. Thanks for all the love and support Part 1 received! If you’re new to this blog, you can read Part 1 here. Same warning about Kaoru still stands!

When you wake up, the world has shifted into something magical. White sunlight streams through the curtains onto the carpet. The bed feels warm, and the feelings of peace and security wrap around you like a hug. Checking your clock, you see you have ten more minutes until your alarm goes off. But you don’t want to go back to sleep, not when you feel as good as you do right now. You haven’t had such good rest in a long time.

As you stretch, the events from last night hit your brain like a baseball, shorting the drowsy happiness you woke up with. The fighting, the yelling, Hikaru stuck in a toilet? You let out a laugh at the memory.

Your anger has worn off, like you knew it would, but the hunger hasn’t. If you stood any chance of passing this med school entrance exam, you needed to eat. The smell of pancakes enters your room, and your mouth waters at the thought of the fluffy golden treats.

Hikaru must have escaped the trap, then, if he was cooking. Either that or you had the world’s most polite burglar.

You rise completely, scrunching your toes into the carpet. You needed to make up with him. He’s not perfect, but he is the man you love. He’s forgiven your mistakes, too.

Throwing on one of his strewn sweatshirts and a pair of jeans, you leave the bedroom and waltz into the dining room, ready to apologize, and see him pouring juice into mugs. You pause for a moment as you watch him. Something wasn’t right: there’s a splint on his left hand, a splint not there last night.

“Oh, (Y/N)!” he turns and speaks your name with a smile, and you sigh in relief. It’s Kaoru.

You smile shyly. “Hi, Kaoru.” You slide into a chair, staring at the place settings. Your better plates sit on nice cloth placemats, and your mom’s porcelain angel-shaped salt shakers guard a massive bowl of mixed fruit. A fresh bouquet of daisies, still dripping with morning dew, command attention at the center of the table. With the glistening sun shining a beam onto the table, the place setting looks straight out of a rom-com.

Then your eyes land on the pancakes. Chocolate chip, peanut butter and butterscotch with a tablet of butter sitting atop each group pile, begging to be devoured.

As much as you just want to tear them to shreds with your teeth, your eyes flick up to Kaoru, who is watching you intently. He’s wearing an odd expression, somewhere between amusement and disappointment. His mouth is curved into a frown, but his eyes sparkle with mirth.

“What is it?” you ask him.

He lets out his breath, a small whistle coming out with it. “He told me about the fight,” he says. You grimace, embarrassed. “Called me crying. Something about him stuck in a toilet and you yelling at him?”

Though the guilt pings your heart, you chuckle. “Yeah, that was stupid.”

Kaoru drops into the chair beside you, one empty of a place setting. “No, (Y/N), I wanted to tell you I understand.”

“Oh.”

He stares at the floor and reaches for your hand, pouring all of his unspoken grief into your palm. There’s never been anything but companionship between you two, but you’ve both been a shelter the other can run to when a storm was wrecking their life. You cover his hand with your other one, softly squeezing it.

“I was at the party with him last night,” he admits. “He lied and said it was an old friend so you wouldn’t get mad at me.” When he lifts his head and sees your arched eyebrows, he whispers, “Are you?”

“Kaoru, of course not.” You put your hand on his shoulder and feel the weight lifting from it. “I was just scared.”

“I know, I know. I am too. That brother of mine is dense, you know.” He taps the side of his own temple. “Probably wouldn’t know danger if it smacked him in the face.” He stops, taking in a deep breath, and his eyes turn serious. “I live every day in fear that what happened to me might--” his voice catches, but he swallows and goes on. “Might happen to him or you or Aimi, and I couldn’t live with myself if it did.”

Kaoru smacks a tear away from his cheek. He went through hell that night. Of course he’s going to watch out for you. “So you don’t have to worry if he goes somewhere without you,” he adds. “I drove him home last night. I’m watching out for him, too.”

You smile, feeling love flood your heart. The girlfriend and the twin brother--that’s quite a protection squad Hikaru had.

After a moment, Kaoru looks up and you exchange smiles. “So you’re not mad at him?”

“No, not anymore.” You stand up and step away from the table. “I need to find him to apologize.”

“Oh, good,” Kaoru says. “He was terrified he was going to lose you last night.”

“He will never lose me.”

Kaoru smirks as soon as you finish talking, but before you can ask him about it, you feel warm arms wrap around your waist from behind. A pair of lips gently kiss your cheek, and you reach your hand up to pass through Hikaru’s hair.

“Good morning,” he whispers.

Before you can say it back, Kaoru swings his lanyard into his pocket and reaches for you, giving your forehead a light kiss, before grabbing his brother from your arms and giving him a hug.

“Gotta run, I have some errands to take care of,” he says. “See ya later.”

You and Hikaru chorus your goodbyes as he leaves, shutting the front door behind him.

Now alone together, Hikaru twists you so that you’re facing each other, lightly keeping his arms around your waist in case you lied and actually want to attack him. His eyes lazily settle on yours, looking at you peacefully, eyelids half-shut. You return his look, feeling the tension mount between you.

“So, how long was Kaoru here?” You decide to break the silence.

Hikaru nods his head to the couch, where blankets and pillows lay in a twisted mess. “I called him last night. He helped me unstick my foot.”

You jerk your head to the dining table and in the direction of the kitchen. “Did he help you with this?”

“Nah, he just slept the whole morning.”

You give him a little laugh, and he encourages it with a closed-lip smile, both of you suddenly shy. You’ve fought before, but it was never as savage or angry as last night. It was always about something stupid he did or how you spend too much time away from him, or even just little fights you would pick just to fight. But it has never been about his welfare or safety. You’ve never brought him to the brink of tears like that. You’ve never thought about breaking up from a fight before. You could never. Hikaru is your oxygen, your sunlight--without him, your life wouldn’t just be over, it would be dark.

As if reading your mind, he tilts your chin, staring at you from under his eyelashes. You feel the pain in every word he says.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I should have kept the promise. I hate that I worried you.”

You pet his hair, outlining his cheek with your finger, before returning your arms around his neck. “It’s alright, baby. I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Hikaru nods, biting his lip. You knew you loved him, but these tranquil moments standing together, holding one another while your hearts beat exposed in each other’s hands--you could build a life out of these vulnerable moments.

“I just wanted to protect you,” you say, lowering your eyes to his neck. “I love you more than anything. I can’t lose--”

Hikaru gently whispers a “shhh” as you lean your head into his chest. His cotton shirt catches all of your tears, and you cling to him. You don’t need anger. He is your anchor now.

“I know you want to protect me,” he says, trailing his fingers through your hair. “I love that. I love you.” He squeezes your hips and moves you flat against him, covering you with his body. He flexes his toned arms as he moves you, showing off all his gym training, and pushes you against his heart. You adjust your arms around his core, taking in every inch of him, poking the taut muscles of his back. “But let me protect you. I promise I can.”

You poke your head up and finally let him kiss you. You’re surprised by his restrained gentleness; with the way he was showing off his strength just a moment earlier, you thought he would be throwing you on the couch and having his way right now. Instead, he’s savoring you, showing you that he respects your vulnerability. Though the boy is extremely talented with his mouth, these calm, docile kisses soothe your soul in a totally different way.

He tasted like summer rain. You lead his lips in a dance of forgiveness, rubbing your hand down his chest while he strokes your face. You could live forever in this moment, these gentle touches and reassuring kisses--and then you realize that you do want to live in this forever. You want the rest of your life to feel like this moment.

He pulls away and you remember the delicious breakfast on the table, something he made just for you.

“You need to eat breakfast, baby,” he insists, holding your hand against his heart. “So you can do your best on your exam. Which you’re going to rock, by the way.”

Hikaru pulls out your chair for you and pushes you back then, only then letting go of your hand. He gives you a shy smile. You’ve unlocked a new part of him today, a part you haven’t seen in the whole year you’ve been dating. He’s sweet, sensitive. That Bad Wolf reputation left behind.

“I can’t believe you did this just for me,” you breathe.

“I love you,” he replies simply.

And that’s all you’ll ever need.

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igottoomuchwriting · 5 years

Text

Requiem

Part 1/Previous Part/Next Part

---

Dating Connor was better than what he thought it would be.

When Connor first asked him out, he was very scared. After Connor had convinced him that it wasn’t a prank and that he actually had a crush on Evan, he then had his own brain and Jared to worry about.

He constantly thought it was a prank, that Connor was going to make a fool of him so the attention of being a ‘freak’ and ‘weirdo’ would be taken off of him and put onto Evan. Everyone morning he expected to get a text that Connor changed his mind, or that he didn’t want to talk to Evan anymore because Evan was weird and a lot to handle. Evan wouldn’t have blamed him if he texted that. Hell, most days Evan can barely handle himself. It would just be selfish to expect Connor to be able to handle him.

Jared never really helped the situation either. Even though Jared was the one who pushed the two teens to get over their feelings and go on a date—though it wasn’t fun to learn that his friend (family friend, he quickly reminded himself) also pushed Connor into admitting to him that he liked Evan when Jared had given Connor no sense of security in the fact that he could trust Jared with that information—he loved to push Evan’s anxiety and make him imagine every scenario that Evan can think of by himself.

“God, please tell me if he stands you up,” Jared had told Evan about a week before their date. “I could use it as ammo against him if he ever decides to go after me again in the future.”

“The school will get a kick out of this when they find out,” he laughed as Evan had called him about what to wear, what to say, what to do. Of course, Jared didn’t give any helpful advice on this in the first place.

From Jared Kleinman: he may just want sex man

From Jared Kleinman: gotta be prepared ;)

Those texts did not help Evan in anyway. They were bad in themselves, but to receive them 20 minutes before Connor was supposed to pick him up sent Evan into an anxiety attack. When Connor picked him up, he had to help Evan calm down so that they could go on their date.

The first date was great. They didn’t do a lot, just went out to Á La Mode and walked around a nearby park. It was really close to what they did when they first started being friends and Evan was happy that it was calm. He didn’t like extravagant things, or being expected to act a certain way in certain places or restaurants. If they had gone to a restaurant, Evan would have been so scared about helping to pay or letting Connor pay by himself and it would have triggered another anxiety attack from the teen.

No, it was calm. Connor had even put some effort into his look, ditching his normal hoodie for a nice button up with a nice pair of jeans. Nothing fancy, he almost looked like how twenty percent of the boys at their school look like, but it was different. While they had walked around, he even asked to hold Evan’s hand. It took Evan about ten minutes to calm down from it.

But he liked it.

They went on two more dates after that one. They grew closer with each date, each text, each call, each ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’. They held hands whenever they were alone, hugged each other when they met up, and they had even cuddled once when Connor’s whole family was gone. Evan was mortified when Connor put an arm around his shoulders when they started the movie, but by the end of it he was tucked into Connor’s shoulder and curled up against his side with the other boy rubbing his arm in comforting motions.

Evan thought it was going great. There were some days that Connor was closed off, angry, and would lash out at Evan for just changing his tone slightly. Evan would be scared when it happened, would apologize nonstop. He had learned to just give Connor some time to cool down from the outburst before asking what was wrong, why he reacted the way he did. He had to ask or Connor would never bring it up and Evan is horrible at reading body language. If he asked, Connor would explain why he had a knee-jerk reaction to a slight change in something.

It was just things that they had to work on. Evan had to work on telling the truth, Connor had to work on apologizing. Evan had to work on his rambling when he wanted to avoid topics, Connor had to work on his knee-jerking reactions to little things that happen in his life. Neither of them are perfect, neither of them actually know what they are doing, but they know what to make better.

Neither Evan nor Connor told anyone around them that they were going on dates. Evan knew that his mom would be okay with it, but he also really didn’t want to sit down and have that conversation. She would be so happy that Evan had a friend, and now someone that could be his boyfriend, but if it didn’t work out she would be sad. She would try to comfort him but he would be able to tell that she was disappointed that he couldn’t keep the only relationship that he has had together.

Connor said he didn’t have anyone he wanted to tell. If he told his parents, that would also involve coming out and he thought that they would either think he is lying or that Evan was just a dealer that they had to separate his son from. Evan had asked if he would ever tell Zoe, but he never got an answer. Connor had turned away from him and coughed awkwardly, saying “Let’s just watch the movie”. He never pushed it again.

Evan was sure that they had it in the bag. He was sure.

Zoe seemed to have other ideas.

Evan was sitting against his locker during lunch, quietly reading a book that Connor had recommended to him. If Evan was honest, he would admit that he doesn’t read much. It has nothing to do with his anxiety, but he just believes watching movies or TV is easier than reading. Though, when Connor started telling him about this book he had read Sophomore year, his eyes lit up and a smile spread over his face, Evan knew he had to read it. It made Connor so happy that he felt it was something he needed to experience as well.

“Evan?” he heard a voice ask. Evan popped his head up to see Zoe standing in front of him. She didn’t look happy.

“Oh, uh, hi Zoe,” he stuttered out. “I’m sorry, were you there long? I didn’t mean to get so caught up in my reading.”

“You’re fine,” she snipped. Her tone had Evan flinching back into his locker, looking back down at his closed book. Evan heard Zoe let out a sigh. “Sorry, I just… I had a question for you.”

“O-Oh?” His hands immediately started sweating. Does she know about him and Connor? Is she going to ask if they are dating? What does Evan say? Connor hasn’t told her yet, at least he doesn’t think so. Should he lie? Tell the truth? What if she tells Connor’s parents? Or worse, his mom. God, he can’t have his mom know yet. He isn’t ready for her to know that. What happens if Connor’s parents find out? Will they have to break up? Will Connor’s parents let Evan come over anymore? Will they think that Evan made Connor gay?

Did Evan make Connor gay?

“You hang out with my brother, right?” she asked. Her arms were crossed over her chest. It looked like she was trying so hard to hide something. Was she angry? Sad? Evan honestly couldn’t tell.

“Y-Yeah. We hang out, uh, time to time?” Why did he end it like a question?

“Why?” Evan gave her a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“No one hangs around my brother,” she snapped. “I’ve never seen anyone from the school willingly talk to him. So, what’s the reason? Is he paying you? Are you his drug dealer?”

“No!” Drug dealer? The only drugs Evan even owns are his anxiety meds, and he would rather die than sell them and suffer with panic attacks. “I don’t even smoke drugs!”

Zoe stared at Evan, gaze studying him where he sits on the floor. Evan looked down at his hands in an attempt to avoid her gaze, but it was no use. It was like he could feel her eyes burning through him, knowing every secret about him and ready to expose it to the world.

“I believe you,” she mumbled. Evan let out a breath of relief. “But why do you hang out with my brother?”

“Because he is my friend?” Evan didn’t know how to answer at this point. He wasn’t going to out himself to Zoe, but what was he supposed to do?

“Why?” she asked again, though she was more upset.

“B-because he is… uh, nice? He returned something of mine, and we just kept talking So, uh, we’re here.”

“You think my brother is nice?” Evan slowly nodded his head. Zoe let out a laugh. “Evan, my brother is the farthest from nice someone can get.”

“I-I really don’t think that’s true,” Evan mumbled.

“Look, Evan,” Zoe started. “You seem like a nice guy. You even seem like someone who looks for the good in everyone! But you won’t find it in my brother.”

“How—” Evan started, but Zoe interrupted him.

“Whatever side of himself he is showing you, it’s not the truth. I know I may be a shitty sister for saying this, but I want to make sure that you’re safe.”

Before Evan could question her any further, the bell rang, signaling to the duo that their lunch break was over. The hallways quickly started filling up with students and Evan jumped up from the ground, wanting to avoid being trapped between Zoe and his locker.

“I should, uh, go…” Evan mumbled.

“Yeah,” Zoe sighed. Evan grabbed his backpack and quickly joined the flow of students, thoughts spinning.

---

“And just like that, you left?” Connor asked.

It was Friday night, a few days after Zoe and Evan’s conversation. Connor had finally started feeling better so he immediately went over to Evan’s house after he got back from school. Evan didn’t mind. Even if he was afraid to admit it out loud, he had missed Connor, so spending some alone time with him was nice.

If only they didn’t have to talk about his sister and ruin the whole mood.

“Yeah,” Evan sighed. He and Connor were laying down on his bed with Evan laying his head on Connor’s collarbone. Evan was playing with the strings to Connor’s hoodie while Connor gently played with Evan’s hair.

“I can’t believe she thought that you were one of my drug dealers,” Connor scoffed. “ I mean, come on! You don’t even look like someone who has been around weed!”

“Hey! I could be a drug dealer if I wanted,” Evan huffed, lightly hitting Connor’s chest.

“Sure, babe,” Connor drawled sarcastically. “You would be the first person I would go to for a hit, you and all your blue polo and fucking khaki glory.” Evan shot a glare at Connor who just smiled back, fake innocence radiating from him.

“Meanie,” he mumbled, leaning back down to get comfy. Connor laughed at the weak attempt at an insult and Evan beamed. He loved hearing Connor laugh, and it was even better when he could feel it.

“Why was she so evident that I couldn’t be your friend?” Evan asked after a few minutes of silent. Connor tensed up, his hand stopping movement in Evan’s hair and Evan panicked. “You don’t have to answer! It’s fine, I really shouldn’t be asking questions like that—”

“Evan, it’s fine,” Connor interrupted. Evan stayed silent, waiting for Connor to gather his thoughts and continue.

With a deep breath, Connor started. “Well, she doesn’t like me. That much is obivous—so fucking obvious that the tension between the two of us is one of the main topic at breakfast every morning.” Connor let out a laugh, but Evan knew it wasn’t because he was happy or thought it was actually funny. Besides lashing out, humor is how Connor dealt with a lot of issues.

“Ever since I got into drugs, she would try to figure out who my dealers are, try to find a way to stop me. And yeah, I understand where she is coming from, because I also wouldn’t want to be around me when I’m high. I’m not the best person in general, and when I came down from my highs I get worse.”

“You’re a good person!” Evan interjected.

“That’s a conversation for another day,” Connor dodged. Evan almost stopped him again, thinking it was a conversation they should be having now, but he kept quiet. “I have gotten loud and sometimes violent when I came down from my highs, having to come to the realization of shitty I am and how shitty everything around me is, but she has accused me of things I know I would never do, no matter how high or pissed I am.”

Evan was almost afraid to ask. What would Zoe accuse him of?

“You can ask,” Connor assured. Evan gave him an anxious look, almost asking if he was sure that he could. This was common between the couple, with Evan trying to learn to fight past his anxiety and for Connor to let personal questions be asked.

“What has she said you’ve done?” Evan slowly asked. Connor stared up at the ceiling, preparing his answer. Evan grabbed his hand that rested on his head and brought it over his waist. He locked their fingers together and gave Connor’s hand a squeeze.

“She has said that I have threatened to kill her,” Connor choked out. “I know for sure that I haven’t because even if we aren’t on good terms, even if I did fucking hate her, I would never do that to her. I… still love her.”

Evan wanted to cry. Connor honestly talks from a place of hurt, a place of pain. Connor doesn’t have the best support system either, with his family wanting to see him as something that needs to be fixed and him lashing out against everything they do because of that.

Yes, Connor could get better help, turn away from the drugs and start going to therapy, but he doesn’t want to. Evan knows that is the first step to receiving help, or else you are just going to get worse. Did Zoe know that? Did she know that her brother is attempting to cope in his own way? Even if she didn’t, what would make her want to tell Connor and others these things.

“Why would she say that?” Evan asked.

“She hates me.” Connor shrugged his shoulders, attempting to seem nonchalant in this horrible situation. “And honestly? I don’t blame her. I’m a pretty shitty person.”

“No, you’re not,” Evan reiterated. Connor shrugged his shoulder again, brushing off Evan’s concern. Evan wasn’t going to fight it right now. “Have you tried talking to her?”

“She won’t listen. She couldn’t give less of a fuck about my apologies, or about my explanations and even my fucking mental health.”

“Does she know a lot?”

“She caught me trying to kill myself in the past,” he mumbled. Evan didn’t stay anything. What could he say? “So yeah, she knows that there is something fucked up. But she blames me for everything negative that happens.”

“She...there has been things, uh, said about her, right?” Evan mumbled. Connor took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“I’ve heard her say that people call her ‘the freaks brother’ or ‘sister of a shooter’.”

“That’s—” Evan stopped. He is aware that people compare Zoe and Connor all of the time. It was a constant whisper through the halls, people wondering what it was like for Zoe to be ‘the best Murphy’. Calling Zoe those names seems like a double edged way to get at Connor, hurting Zoe in the process.

“Yeah,” Connor agreed. “Everyone is shit. I’ve also heard her tell our mom that she is seen as the ‘freak’s sister’.”

“I’m sorry, Connor,” Evan whispered. “You shouldn’t have to go through that. You deserve so much more, you don’t deserve your sister doubting that you can make friends.”

Connor let out a deep breath. He let go of Evan’s hand and rolled over, pulling Evan closer to his chest.

“Don’t be sorry,” Connor mumbled. He placed a kiss on the top of Evan’s head. “It’s just...life. My family may be shit and our school even shittier, but that’s nothing new.”

Evan tucked his head into Connor’s chest, gripping his jacket with a tight grip. Connor rubbed Evan’s back in an attempt to comfort him.

Silence fell between the two boys as they thought over the conversation.

#Dear Evan Hansen #Evan Hansen #Connor Murphy #Evan x Connor #Evan Hansen x Connor Murphy #Tree Bros #sunwriting #fanfiction

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whoareurl · 4 years

Text

marry me 2 (for softersteve)

the second and last part of my giftfic for @softersteve who truly deserves the name for writing the SOFTEST steve rogers content in the world.

here is part one if u wanna read that first

Bucky is freaking the fuck out.

It’s just his luck really, isn’t it? One minute, he’s fussing over his sick boyfriend, cuddling up with him tucked close against his side, and the next his head is reeling with the implications of the last twenty seconds.

Marry me, Steve said.

But...but he’s feverish and sleepy. Bucky shouldn’t really hold him accountable for the things he says in this state. But he’s finding it difficult not to shake Steve awake and ask did you mean it or is your brain boiling in your skull?

Is this what an asthma attack feels like? Jesus, Bucky’s gotta start blackmailing Steve into carrying his inhaler because this shit sucks.

Oh no wait. Yeah, this is panic. Oh fuck this is panic. Steve is far enough gone that he doesn’t even stir when his pillow starts practically hyperventilating and perhaps that’s another sign Bucky should take him too seriously. But, the thing is, Bucky wants him to mean it. He’s been in love with Steve going on ten years now and they’ve been dating for five of those years. People have gotten married in less time.

But Steve’s only 20. This can’t possibly be what he wants. Hell, Steve deserves the world and all Bucky can offer him is a wilting daisy. He’s never really stopped to think about what would happen to the pair of them in the long run. College has been a bit of a safe haven so far and Bucky hasn’t given the issue much thought. But now it’s looming over him, crushing down on his chest like a 95 pound weight that can’t possibly love him back, not like that. Not really.

Carefully, Bucky detangles himself from Steve and tucks the blankets back in around him before he bolts for the door and holes up in the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face and trying to just calm the fuck down.

“James?”

That’s Sarah, peeking through the open bathroom door with the same concerned furrow between her eyebrows that Steve gets. It makes Bucky want to cry.

“Hey now, it’s alright,” she says, approaching him smoothly and pulling him into a hug. “What’s the matter, love?”

Bucky blinks back a wave of tears and pulls back. He debates lying, considers brushing this whole thing under the rug because it’s not like Steve will remember this when he wakes up. But he can’t keep this to himself or he’s going to explode so he says, “Steve asked me to marry him.”

Sarah raises an eyebrow. “Just now?”

Bucky nods.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Bucky huffs, drying his face with his sleeve. “He didn’t mean it. He fell asleep before I could say anything.”

“What makes you think he didn’t mean it?” Sarah asks, sounding remarkably calm given the situation which is making Bucky’s head spin.

Bucky stares at her. “He’s running a fever and he’s drugged up on sleep meds.”

The corner of Sarah’s mouth twitches. “Steve’s always been a sincere little thing,” she says. “Sounds like maybe he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

Bucky scoffs. He can’t help it. He full-on scoffs. “Sarah, it’s Steve. He doesn’t want to marry me.”

Something in Sarah’s expression shifts then from teasing to serious. “James, look at me.”

Reluctantly, Bucky meets her eye. Sarah Rogers has this knack, a knack that’s always knocked Bucky off balance, to see right through him. She says a mother always knows but Bucky secretly thinks she might be part witch.

“I think I know what this is really about,” she says and Bucky swallows his protests. She probably does. “Darling, you boys have been inseparable for almost twenty years now. You’ve known Steve nearly as long as I have; do you really think he’d love someone who wasn’t worthy of it?”

Bucky wants to argue, wants to say that sure, Steve has always been picky about the people he spends time with and, sure, Steve has never actually dated anyone but him and, sure, Steve tells him all the time that he loves him more than anything and oh god did Steve actually ask him to marry him?

“There it is,” Sarah teases, tugging him close again. She laughs against his shoulder and asks, “did he really ask you when he was falling asleep?”

Rendered mute by his own shock, Bucky just nods. She holds him at arms length and looks him up and down.

“And what about you, James Barnes? Do you want to marry my son?”

Bucky can barely breathe. What sort of question is that? It’s like asking the earth if it needs the sun.

“Yes,” he says, though he doesn’t think it’s enough. Not for someone like Steve.

It’s enough for Sarah, however, who grins. It’s the same grin Steve wears when he’s about to get them into some serious trouble and Bucky has the same conditioned anxiety response to it.

“Oh no,” he says, mostly to himself and Sarah lets out a peal of delighted laughter as she grabs his hand and starts leading him downstairs.

Steve wakes up alone and congested as all hell. He sits up slowly, reluctant to leave the warmth of the bed but also kind of desperately in need of a piss. Once he’s relieved himself, he grabs the box of tissues from the bed and heads downstairs towards the dull rumble of the television in the living room and, as expected, finds Bucky and Sarah having a Jeopardy! showdown.

Bucky blurts out “what is the Nobel Peace Prize” which makes Sarah swear into her tea just as Alex Trebek announces the commercial break.

“You should go easy on an old woman, James,” Sarah scolds, making Steve smile.

“Unlikely,” he says, gravitating towards Bucky and flopping down next to him. “He’s a fiend without mercy.”

Sarah smirks. “You’ve picked a good match in a fiancé, then. You’re both competitive little shits.”

Steve hums tiredly in response and burrows closer to Bucky before he registers it.

“What?”

He lifts his head, glancing between Sarah and Bucky in bewilderment and vaguely wondering if he might still be dreaming. Bucky, for his part, looks confused.

“What’s up, Stevie?”

Steve blinks and rubs at the heavy congestion settling in his chest. Maybe he misheard. He’s not wearing his ears, after all. “Nothing I just...thought Ma called you my fiancé.”

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to blink. “Yeah?” He says, frowning when Steve just continues to look bewildered. “We’ve been engaged six months, Stevie.”

That startles Steve right into a coughing fit that has his eyes filling with tears and nose running pitifully down his face. Bucky’s hands are on his back, rubbing across his shoulders while he hacks against his knees. After a moment, he feels something press against the back of his palm and sees his mother kneeling in front of him with a glass of water which he carefully takes a sip of when he’s sure he won’t accidentally inhale it. The fit leaves him dizzy and sweaty and he grabs a handful of tissues from the box to wipe his nose with, not wanting to risk another fit or a worsening dizzy spell by blowing it.

When he glances at Bucky through watery eyes, he finds his boyfriend - fiancé? - looking stricken.

“Stevie, I’m sorry, I was just kidding,” he says, wiping away the tears from Steve’s cheeks which spilled out during the fit. “I’m sorry, love. You asked me to marry you while you were falling asleep and we thought we’d have a laugh with you but I didn’t think about how sick you were. I’m sorry, babydoll.”

Steve frowns. “I asked you to marry me?”

Bucky’s mouth twitches, uncertain, as if he isn’t quite able to smile. “Yeah,” he says, leaning forward to give the tip of Steve’s nose a kiss. “You’re running a fever, though, Stevie. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s-” Steve can’t quite find the words to explain. After a moment of fumbling for the words, he pushes himself unsteadily to his feet and heads upstairs.

By the time he returns perhaps a minute later, Bucky looks dejected. His expression, however, quickly shifts when he sees Steve again because he’s a stupid idiot who thinks Steve can’t see right through that fake smile.

“This isn’t how I wanted to do it,” Steve sighs, grabbing some more tissues to catch the incessant drips from his nose, other hand tucked at the small of his back. “I was gonna take you up to the oak tree with our tyre swing and watch the sunset and then I was gonna ask you. I- I didn’t picture myself all gross and sick when it happened.”

“When what happened?” Bucky asks breathlessly.

Steve removes his hand from behind his back and carefully gets down on one knee, wincing at the aching pain in his hips. He opens the ring box with fumbling fingers and offers it up to Bucky who looks truly stunned.

“Sorry I got sick and ruined it but...will you marry me anyway?”

There’s a moment - just a moment - where Steve thinks he might be about to faint but then Bucky is down on his knees next to him and pulling him close, settling them both down on the carpet and saying, “yes, yes, yes.” And Steve knows then, as Bucky checks him for fever and starts rubbing his right shoulder (which always hurts like a bitch when he’s sick), that this was inevitable. It was just a matter of when and where and, while Steve would have liked to give Bucky something a little more romantic, he supposes this is alright too. Even if he is sniffling and sneezing into his new fiancé’s shoulder on his mother’s living room carpet. Even then. Because it’s Bucky. And, with Bucky, it’s okay.

#acefic stucky #acefic

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avasilvugh · 5 years

Note

"Just stay with me." + trimberly for prompt thing if you don't mind:))

find it on: ao3

When Kim wakes up, it kind of feels like she’s on fire. Still on fire? She has vague memories of being on fire from before she woke up, but those could be holdovers from the last traumatic battle or something.

What’s certain is that her whole body hurts - hurts in the kind of way that it hasn’t hurt since she became a fucking superhero - and that she’s terrified for her friends.

Kim bolts upright despite the spike of pain she feels everywhere, radiating out from her chest. Her vision is blurred, hazy and dark around the edges, and the only thing she knows is that she needs to go, needs to find her friends, needs to help them, protect them.

Through the haze of her panic, she feels someone pushing her shoulders back firmly.

“…you have to…”

“…let her…”

“…holy shit!”

In broken patches, she can feel herself morph; an arm enclosed in pink armor, then bare again. Her shoulder. Part of her face. Each time, it feels like her armor is clawing its way through her. Each time, Kim thinks she screams.

“Kim–.”

…

When Kim wakes up, her whole body hurts - this deep ache that spreads out through her, making it painful to breathe. Her throat is raw. She tastes blood.

She tries to move, but the ache is too deep, too strong, sharpens into something world-ending. Someone shrieks.

It takes a long moment to realize that someone is her.

…

When Kim wakes up, she doesn’t know where she is. Not at first anyway, not when she blearily opens her eyes and adjusts to the semi-darkness of the room.

It’s not quite enough to set her nerves on edge, but almost. Almost enough to raise the alarm.

Someone warm is holding her hand. Turning her head to see who it is feels like a monumental challenge, overcome only by Kim’s own near blind-curiosity now that her interest has been piqued.

For a terrifying moment, Kim can’t think of the name of the girl curled up in the chair beside her. Can’t conjure any concrete details about her. But she looks comfortingly familiar; even if Kim’s brain can’t bring forth her name, her heart remembers loving her. So it’s okay. It’s okay.

…

When Kim wakes up, her head is fucking pounding.

“Fuck,” she grumbles, going to roll onto her side and finding, irritatingly enough, that she can’t for the ache in her ribs.

There’s a brief flicker of movement beside her and she looks up just in time to see Trini drag a hand down her face, her expression of relief tempered by exhaustion.

Kim glances down at herself – yep, that’s the med bay bed. And yes, those are bandages. She pieces the rest together quickly enough.

Looking back to Trini, Kim offers a weak smile. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” she croaks. “But you look like shit.”

For a split second, Trini wears this adorable look of bewilderment. Kim adores that expression, loves catching Trini off-guard enough that she doesn’t have quite enough time to school her features into her usual mask of neutrality. Loves knowing that she’s still able to fluster the other girl so completely.

“You asshole,” Trini hisses after a beat, her previously adorable expression morphing into one equals parts furious and terrified, relieved and righteously indignant. “You got blown up, you’re not allowed to crack jokes.” She pulls away, drawing into herself more with each word she says and it breaks Kim to watch.

Sure, she may not remember the whole getting blown up bit, but she sure as hell feels guilty about it if it makes Trini hold herself away like this, like she’s afraid to touch or be touched.

“I’m sure I had a good reason,” Kim offers weakly, even though she knows that there are only a handful of reasons good enough to warrant getting blown up. One of them is staring her down with incredulous eyes at this very moment. Not that Kim will share that with her, at least not at this very moment.

There’s this face Trini pulls when she wants to say something, but won’t; her brows furrow just the slightest, her jaw sets like she’s actively holding herself back from speaking. Kim’s well-acquainted with it, has honed the skills to push just enough to get her girlfriend to finally, finally say what’s on her mind.

Somehow, when she sees this looks appear now, she has a sinking feeling that all her hard-won knowledge of the ins and outs of Trini Gomez won’t do shit for her.

“Trini, I–,” she starts, cut off by Jason slamming into view of the open med-bay door, closely followed by Zack and Billy.

“Holy shit, Kim,” Jason pants, doubling over as he reaches her bedside. “You - you gave us a fucking scare.”

Zack, arguably, has the best bedside manner of the whole team. He comes in quietly, asks her seriously, “How are you feeling?” as he adjusts the blankets over her legs.

“‘ve been better,” Kim mumbles, eyes still on Trini even as the other girl stares up at the ceiling. She finally turns to look at the boys on her other side. “What happened?”

Jason and Zack exchange a look; Zack sends a furtive glance in Trini’s direction and presumably receives no answer.

Over their shoulders, Billy hovers, worried. “You absorbed a bomb,” he supplies, turning his attention onto the control panel mounted on the wall. “Do you not remember that?”

Oh. Right.

Here’s the thing: Kim still doesn’t really remember the actual event. Like – Billy says you absorbed a bomb and it matches up, roughly speaking, with the way Kim’s body feels, but there’s this gaping hole in her memory around whatever happened, a disconnect between the way she feels and what she remembers.

“We were -,” she stumbles over her words, head throbbing. “We were fighting?”

“You don’t remember?” Jason asks, alarmed. “Billy?” He turns to the other boy, already deep in discussion with Alpha-5 about brain injuries and traumatic amnesia and Kim’s head is swimming in it, in the thought that she doesn’t remember, in the thought that she can’t remember, and Trini still can’t look at her.

“Hey,” Zack soothes, glancing between Kim and Trini, worry written across his face. “Kimmy–,” Kim won’t even hold the name against him, “–you gotta stay calm, okay? You just woke up.”

Kim focuses on Zack, then. Everything else sucks. Her chest aches, each breath a sharp pain, and apparently she literally got blown up, and there’s a selfish, pitifully needy part of her that just wants Trini to get over whatever it is she’s stewing on and crawl into bed beside Kim, just wants the reassuring weight and warmth of the other girl pressed up against her side.

Without the words or the wherewithal to ask for that, Kim focuses on Zack. On the feeling of his hand on her wrist. On his breathing, carefully controlled. Obviously measured for her benefit.

He raises his eyebrows in a silent question and Kim’s not sure of what the answer should be, but maybe he sees whatever it is that he needs to see, because then Zack is on his feet again, his hand still carefully lain over Kim’s arm.

“Hey guys,” he says, drawing Jason and Billy’s attention. Alpha-5, oblivious, whirls over to the readout of Kim’s vitals along the wall. “I think Kimmy needs her rest,” Zack tells them. “She’s awake, she’s lucid. Let’s give her some room.”

Jason looks like he’s on the verge of protest, his Team Dad instinct kicking into overdrive, but it’s Billy that looks to Kim for confirmation, concern written in the crease between his brows. “Would that be better?” he asks. “I know I didn’t like it when my mom hovered when I would get sick as a kid. It would make sense if you didn’t like it now.”

Kim nods, grateful for the out. It’s not that she doesn’t want her family near - because that’s what they are to her now, Kim realizes with a jolt: family in a way that her own parents could never even dream of – but their concern is making her claustrophobic, only serving to reinforce just how close to death Kim apparently came.

“We’ll just be – we’ll be right out in the Roost,” Jason says haltingly, obviously hating the idea that he’s being dismissed from his duties. He rubs at the back of his neck roughly, looking haggard. “If anything changes–.”

“Jace,” Kim manages, her voice rough with disuse. “I’m fairly sure you’ll know if something’s gone wrong long before I will.”

That placates him a little, Kim thinks, if his shoulders slumping is any indicator, some tension relieved at least.

“Okay,” he assents, though he still doesn’t look happy about it.

The boys shuffle out after saying their goodbyes, Jason casting a final worried look over his shoulder before he disappears down the hall.

And then it’s quiet. Alpha’s gentle whirring disappears as he makes himself scarce, slipping out of the room to head to the supply closet, Kim’s sure.

Beside her, Trini shifts in her seat, obviously uncomfortable. “I should let you rest,” she says after a long, silent moment as she makes to stand.

“Trini,” Kim murmurs, exhausted.

“I’ll be nearby,” she promises halfheartedly.

It feels like something’s broken between them and Kim can’t remember what it is or when she broke it – because it must have been her, right? She must have done something or said something that put Trini off, brought them back to where they were at the start: Trini, skittish and distrustful, always keeping her thoughts to herself. Kim, making it worse.

“Trini,” Kim manages again, her voice breaking and eyes burning. God, this is pathetic. She’s pathetic. That doesn’t stop her from adding, as Trini slips out of her chair and rounds the corner of the cot, “I’m sorry.”

It’s enough to make the other girl freeze, snapping her head to look at Kim with this unreadable expression. “Don’t do that,” she says.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t–,” Trini crosses her arms tightly over her chest. “I don’t know. It’s like you think I’m mad at you.”

“Aren’t you?” It might be the fact that she’s recently out of a coma or that, she’s sure, she sustained a wild amount of head trauma, but Kim feels like she has whiplash, her head spinning. Isn’t Trini mad at her? Isn’t that why she won’t come any closer?

“I – I’m mad. But not at you,” Trini sighs. “I’m mad that you almost died. And,” she struggles for a moment, her eyes darting around the room. “And I’m mad that I couldn’t protect you.”

Oh.

“Trini,” Kim breathes.

“You probably don’t remember this,” Trini states, voice tight, “but my Zord was in better condition. I should have been the one to take the hit.”

“Trini.”

“You were on fire, Kimberly. You just – you were just falling and I really–.” Trini chokes on her words, swaying on her feet. Kim reaches for her and she doesn’t pull away, lets Kim weakly pull her closer. “I really thought I was going to lose you,” Trini manages finally, her hip bumping against the edge of Kim’s cot.

“I…” Kim trails off, at a loss of what to say. She thinks that maybe it would have been better if Trini was mad at her – at least she knows how to fix that. She’s not sure what she can do here.

If this all went down how Kim thinks it did – throwing herself between a bomb and everyone else to dull the impact, putting herself in danger to avoid Trini being in danger – well, Kim can’t bring herself to regret it. Can’t muster a sincere apology, because she knows that she would have never forgiven herself if she hadn’t done it, if she’d watched Trini’s Zord go up in flames.

But she can manage a sincere apology for the dark rings under Trini’s eyes. For the way Trini’s clutching her hand, like she’s not sure Kim’s real.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Kim tells her earnestly. “But please don’t be angry with yourself because I’m a self-sacrificial dumbass.”

Trini scoffs at Kim’s attempt to lighten the mood. “What am I supposed to do, then?” she asks shortly.

“Just stay with me.” Kim shuffles over in the cot with some difficulty and pats the newly opened space beside her with free hand. “I’m pretty sure it’s the doctor’s orders.”

“Kim–.”

“If I’m not allowed to martyr myself, neither are you.” Trini’s avoiding her eyes again, looking hard up at the ceiling, her nose red from crying. Kim tugs on their joined hands and tries to meet Trini’s gaze as evenly as she can when the other girl finally looks at her, her eyes dark and deep and wet. “I’m asking you to stay, Trini. Please.”

For one long moment, Kim thinks that Trini’s going to pull away - that she’ll decide she needs some space to process, some breathing room to just get a handle on her own head. Kim wouldn’t blame her if she did, even if she would miss her.

But then Trini’s letting go of Kim’s hand in favor of gently shuffling Kim over a little more, carving out a little more space for her to crawl into. She curls around Kim carefully, wrapping a tentative arm around Kim’s waist.

“Tell me if I hurt you,” she says quietly, laying her head close to Kim’s on the pillow. Her warm breath fans over Kim’s neck, sending shivers radiating out from the spot.

Kim hums in response, wishing that she could turn onto her side to face her girlfriend. But still – it’s nice, the reassuring warmth of Trini curled around her.

“Kim?” Trini murmurs, her lips brushing Kim’s shoulder.

“Hm?” She laces her fingers through Trini’s, squeezing weakly.

Trini’s silent for a moment, then another. Finally – “Thanks for, like, not dying.”

Of all the things she expected Trini to say, it wasn’t that, and it’s enough to startle a snort of laughter from Kim.

“Oh my god,” she giggles, wincing. “Don’t make me laugh, asshole.”

She feels Trini’s lips quirk up against her skin. “Oops,” she says, not sounding very apologetic at all. “Don’t get blown up next time.”

#lolololol this was supposed to be for trimberly week: angst #im not Crazy about this dynamic but im easing back into writing so #power rangers 2017 #trimberly #kimberly hart #trini #i'll rebagle in the morning #katiemccgrath #human interaction #by 'this dynamic' i mean this specific dynamic i have written them not the ship #ill always be trimberly trash

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ally-writes-many-things · 5 years

Text

New Unit (Jay Halstead) Part 3

Summary: You and Jay were dating for two years and he ended up cheating on you. Two years later, you were transferred to a new unit. The same unit as Jay.

Words: 2351

Requested: No, they are open though. Prompts

Prompts: No

A/N: omg this is the last part I am doing with this prompt for now maybe. I absolutely love this prompt.

Original prompt by @sweetblink

I never stopped loving you

Those five little words rang in your heads the entire night into the next morning. You knew they were lies and he only said them cause he wasn't thinking straight.

The squad found you not long after Jay said those words and passed out. You sat there with Jay in your lap afraid to even jostle him a little until the paramedics came. Voight said that what you have done was stupid but pretty brave and that you can go home. You drove to the precinct and got into your car and drove home. You were utterly wiped and as soon as you were home, you fell on your bed and went to sleep almost automatically.

You walked into Chicago Med and was about to ask the front desk lady were Jay was but you saw Will. Jay's brother. "Y/N," He said walking up to me.

You smiled at him and gave him a hug. "Hey, long time no see,"

He shrugged. "That's just what happens when you break up with someone, you typically break up with their family too,"

You laugh at him. "True. So how's Jay doing?"

He looks at you. "You know him. He's a tough one. Just a few broken ribs, a severe concussion, and a few minor things, we are keeping him overnight again due to the concussion,"

Your heart dropped slightly when you heard that he had a concussion cause even you didn't want you to admit it, there a tiny little hope that, Jay meant what he said. "So he's gonna be okay?" You asked pushing down those feelings.

He nods. "Yeah, but I'm still wondering how you ended up being his partner after two years?"

You shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. What room is he in? Is he lucid?"

Will motioned for me to follow me. You felt your phone vibrate as you got into the elevator, you took it out of your pocket and it was a text from Ruzek.

From: Ruzek

How's Halstead?

To: Ruzek.

Will says he's doing fine. Going up to see him now.

You put your phone back in your back pocket and stepped out of the elevator. "So you're getting along with the other squad members?"

"Yeah,"

Will stopped in front of a room and opened it. "Got a visitor for you bro,"

You walked into the room and Jay was facing the other way but he turned and you could see all the bruises on his face. "Y/N,"

You walked up to him. "Yeah,"

"I'm gonna leave you two alone," Will said leaving and shutting the door.

You pull up the chair next to his bed and sit in it. You carefully touch his face. "This is my fault,"

He reaches up and touches your hand. "It's not. It wasn't your decision. It was mine,"

You pull your hand from Jay's. "Yeah, but I'm your partner, I should've actually made you stay,"

Jay winces as he sits up. "Stop doing that,"

You look at Jay weirdly. "Stop doing what?"

Jay grabs your hand and kisses it. At this point, you really don't care about being a bitch or holding on to a grudge against Jay. Seeing him laying in on your lap unconscious scared you. You rather have him in your life than be mad over something that happen two years ago. "Blaming yourself for everyone else's choices,"

You sigh. "You know me, Jay, you've known me for almost five years. You know I also do especially when I'm there to witness it cause I could've stopped it,"

Jay drops my hands and just looks at me. "What?" You asked.

He lets out a low sigh. "Can we just forget the past and start new?"

You smiled. "Seeing you like that yesterday made me realize that I rather have you in my life than not have you in my life. So I love you to start over,"

Jay smiled and held out a hand. "Hi, I'm Jay Halstead and I'm a Detective,"

You giggled. "Hi, I'm Y/N Y/L/N and I'm also a Detective,"

"Oh that's why you look familiar, I've must've seen you around town,"

"Same here,"

At this time, there was a knock at the door and someone opened it and it was Burgess. "Hey," She said looking at me.

You nodded. "Hey,"

Burgess walks over to Jay and hands him a bag. "Thank you," He said taking out a burger from the bag.

You chuckled and stood up. "I gotta get to the precinct. I'll talk to you later," You said kissing the side of his forehead.

Jay froze when you kissed him. He wasn't excepting that. He hasn't heard you chuckle at him in forever and that was his favorite sound. Well besides you saying his name. Jay watched you walk out the door and shut it. "Did you fixed things?" Burgess asked.

Jay was still shocked. "Our friendship, yes,"

Burgess just laughed at him. "You do realize that girl is still madly in love with you rather she wants to admit it to herself or not,"

It was almost a week later and James Lynch was charged with five counts of murder and a few counts of drugs. You didn't believe that James was the one who killed all five men but he wouldn't give them up. "It doesn't matter, if you shoot and killed the people in my crib, you already took justice for those deaths," He had said.

Today oddly enough wasn't busy so the team has been mostly doing in house things, i.e reorganizing the cases files, putting case files into the database, going over C.I files, etc. Jay had came back after like three or four days cause he was itching to do something and not sit at home.

You were walking down to the main lobby area and you saw that Nyko was there. "Nyko, what are you doing here?"

He smiled at me. "Just waiting to say how proud I am of you and also this," Nyko said grabbing me, pressing my back into his chest and hold a gun to my head. "Nyko, what are you doing?" You asked.

There was an officer walking up to us but he pointed the gun at him. "No, stay back. It's fine," You said.

"You are so stupid, you know that,"

You tried to move but his grip on your back got tighter. "What do you mean?"

He laughs. "You weren't supposed to take down James. You screw everything up,"

Jay was still organizing files when Voight steps out of his office. "We have a problem downstairs,"

Jay didn't care what the problem was, all he knew was that you were downstairs and if Trudy called Voight and told him it had to be bad. Jay had just managed to get to turn the corner when a gun was pointing at him and then at you.

"Move any closer and I'll shoot her brains out,"

Jay drops dead in his tracks and his confusion turned quickly into anger as he saw that it was Nyko holding you at gunpoint. "You do that and you're not gonna make it out of here alive," Jay said.

He scoffs. "Who said that I wanted to?"

He cocked the gun and pointed it back at your head. "Hey, hey. Let's calm down for a second. Talk to me, why wasn't I suppose to make it out of James?"

"He was supposed to take you out because you were the only one who knew,"

You were confused. "Knew what?"

"Don't play stupid with me,"

You looked over at Jay and Jay looked utterly pissed off. "I'm not. What am I only suppose to know?"

"That I was the one who set up Hunter to be killed,"

Your body froze. "I didn't know that. I only knew Lynch killed Hunter. Oh Nyko, what did you get yourself into,"

You felt Nyko's grip loosen but he still has you in a tight enough grip where you couldn't move. "Hunter was gonna spill the beans on who I was and I could allow that, so I set up a meeting with Hunter at the stash house and called James and framed Hunter for stealing drugs,"

Before you even know what was happening, you were being thrown on the ground. You quickly turned around and saw that Jay had tackled him. You saw that neither of them had the gun. You looked around to see that the gun landed a few feet away. When you looked back to Jay and Nyko, Jay was on top of Nyko punching him. Before you could even get up, Roman and Atwater were pulling Jay off Nyko. Once he saw that Nyko was in good hands, he walked over to you and helped pull you to your feet. He placed both of his hands on both sides of your face and made you look at him. "Are you okay?"

You nodded. "Yeah, are you?"

He nodded and pulled you into a hug. You felt a hand on your back and you looked at saw that it was Ruzek. "One thing quit getting yourself into danger,"

You laughed and pushed him.

Everyone had either left to go home or left to go to Molly's but you wanted to get the last two files in the system before you left. "Go home Y/L/N, you can do that tomorrow," Voight said coming out of his office.

You shook your head. "If I made, I want to get these last two files into the system. I don't like leaving work unfinished,"

Voight nodded. "Alright but don't take too long. You had a tough day," He said going back into the office.

You reached into the last file and opened it.

Jay Halstead x undercover.

You looked at the date and the date was from two years ago. Around the time when Jay started acting strange. You opened the folder and began to read it;

Jay Halstead went undercover to fish out a high profile drug lord. During this time, he had to pursue a relationship with the suspect's sister.

Jay opened the door on the third knock. Jay opened it and he was shocked to see you standing there. "Y/N,"

You looked at him. "Are you gonna invite me in?"

Jay quickly moves to the side and motions for you to come in. When you were in the apartment you two used to share, you noticed that he still had pictures of you two still on the mantle by his tv. "What-" Jay started to say.

You turned around and looked at him. "Three questions," You cut him off.

He looked at you and then the picture. "That was my favorite of us and I didn't want to take it down,"

You gave him a confused look. "Huh? Oh no, not the picture,"

He leans against the kitchen wall. "Then what?"

You walked up to him. "One: What didn't you tell me you were undercover?"

Jay looks confused for a second and then realization sets in. "You got the file for my case,"

"I did,"

He sighed. "Voight didn't want anyone outside Intelligence to know. It was a high profile case and he didn't want anyone not involved to get hurt cause they knew too much,"

You nodded. "That's why your partner told me you weren't working on any case,"

Jay nodded.

"Two: if you were working undercover, why did you come to here where I was?"

He stands straight up. "It's on the days that I knew they weren't following me or I had left after everyone went to sleep and sometimes I didn't even come home. I was stupid during the case and I knew I should've told you something to make your mind be put at ease but I couldn't go against Voight's order,"

You took another step closer to him. "Did you sleep with her?"

Jay looked at you like you were crazy. "No, absolutely not. Every time, things would get heated, I would gently tell her no that I wasn't ready to take it to that level,"

You took another step closer to Jay. "So you weren't cheating on him. If I would've just let you explain, what happened, we would've never broken up. I thought the reason why you cheated on me was cause you didn't love me or want me anymore,"

Jay didn't say anything but walked up to you. He gently grabbed your face and before you realize what he was doing, he kissed you. Your body froze for a minute before relaxing into the kiss making it deep. Your entire body went hot. Both of your arms went around his neck but one of your hand went into his hair, pulling it a couple of times. "I never stopped loving you. I always wanted to be around you. You were my everything," Jay said breathlessly after you pulled apart.

You looked at his lips and brought your thumb down to trace his bottom lip and without even answering his comment you kissed him again but this time, he pulled you as close as he could get to him. "Jump," He said taking his lips off yours but then quickly placing them back on.

You do as you are told and jumped, Jay catches you and you wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to your once shared bed. He sits down on the bed to where you are straddling him. He pulled back from kissing you. "Are you sure about this?"

You kissed him again. "Yes," You said pulling his lip with your teeth knowing how that use to drive Jay insane.

***

You were now cuddling with Jay. You're head on Jay's naked chest, his arm wrapped around you, both of your legs intertwined with each other. "So what does this mean?" He asked.

You lifted up your head and turned it to face Jay. "I don't know but I'm willing to find out if you are?"

The End

#jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #chicago pd #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x imagine #kim burgess #kevin atwater #hank voight #trudy platt #adam ruzek

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dreamwritesimagines · 6 years

Text

Bad Habit 7-Don’t Ask Don’t Tell [Billy Russo x Reader]

A.N.: Your feedback means the world to me, my lovelies! Thank you so much!

Characters: Billy Russo x Reader, Karen Page, Frank Castle, Matt Murdock

Summary: Late night romance can be sweet. Or sarcastic.

Click here for: Bad Habit 1, Bad Habit 2, Bad Habit 3 Bad Habit 4 Bad Habit 5 Bad Habit 6

Click here to see the playlist for the first 4 parts!

Warning: Explicit language, cussing, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 3862

Please tell me what you think

Gif’s not mine!

You stared at the tiny paper, black dots starting to fly in your vision due to the throbbing pain in your stomach, but even that couldn’t get you to move. Your brain was working nonstop and you skimmed the two sentences, then gawked at the gun as Billy read it over your shoulder.

“Your brother?” he asked, his voice laced with fury, so much that it made you look up, “Your brother did this to you?”

You licked your lips, and turned around to walk back to the hall, gritting your teeth to hide the pain before you ran your fingertips over the wall that the bullet was stuck in.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah,” You got on your knees to touch the bullet, then tried to pull it back using your fingernails, “My brother.”

“Your brother tried to kill you?”

“He didn’t try to kill me,” You pulled the bullet back and put it into your pocket, “He tried to hurt me.”

“That’s fucking-“

“Billy,” You cut him off, surprised at your own calmness, “Look at the wall.”

“What?”

“Look at the wall.” You leaned your back to the wall, “And look at my height.”

“I don’t follow.”

“So if you didn’t tackle me down,” you motioned at the hole in the wall, then pointed at your leg, “The bullet would go through here, my leg, instead of anywhere fatal.”

Billy frowned, and crossed his arms, “How do you know?”

You shrugged, “I know how he thinks. This-“ You held up the paper, “This just means he’s in one of the closest hospitals now, waiting there to-“ You paused, “To talk to me.”

“Tough shit,” he said through his teeth, and his frown deepened as he eyed you up and down, “You’re bleeding.”

“I popped my stitches.”

A dangerous, almost feral shadow passed through his eyes, but it was gone so quickly that you couldn’t even be sure that you had seen it in the first place. He ripped the string off the door with an unnecessary force and grabbed his phone,

“Where is your stuff?”

“What?”

“Never mind, just get your meds, we’re leaving.”

“Leaving where?” You asked, completely confused while you grabbed the medicine bottle from the small bowl by the door as he texted someone, then turned to you with an impatient look in his face,

“You don’t really think you’re staying here tonight, right?”

“I’m not going to a hospital, I’d rather bleed out than see his face-“

“I’m not talking about the hospital,” he said as he tossed you a towel so that you could press it on your wound, “Go downstairs and get in the car, I’ll be there in a second.”

You snorted, “You left your car unlocked in this neighborhood?”

“Y/N,” he looked like he was at the end of his patience, “You’re losing blood, okay? It’s not the time to get smart, go downstairs and wait for me.”

You rolled your eyes “Only because you said please.”

“I didn’t say please.”

“I’m assuming you said it silently.” You shot back, and pressed the towel on the bleeding wound, then made your way to his car. Your hands were still trembling but you flexed your fingers, leaning your head back to the car seat and closed your eyes, trying to fix your breathing in hopes of calming yourself down and lessening the pain just a little. It wasn’t long until Billy opened the door to the driver’s seat and started the car.

“Now are you gonna tell me where we’re going?”

“My place.”

You sat up straighter and turned to him while trying to move as slow as possible, “Say what?”

“You don’t wanna go to a hospital, fine. You can’t stay in that dumpster after someone broke in and tried to shoot you.”

You shook your head fervently, “Just… just drive me to Karen’s, I’ll be fine.”

“Y/N-“

“I can’t stay at your place, don’t be ridiculous!” You cut him off, “What if- what if I rob you? What if I steal all your expensive suits and coats? Are you really sure you can trust me?”

He shot you a sideways look, “Jesus…”

“Billy, I’m serious!”

“So am I.” He said calmly, his voice didn’t waver, not one bit, as if you weren’t currently bleeding on his passenger seat, “We gotta patch you up.”

“Who’s we?”

“Me.”

“Are you secretly a doctor or something?”

“You really don’t know a single thing about the army, do you?” he asked, a note of disbelief evident in his voice as he made a turn, and you leaned your head back again, heaving a deep sigh.

“I like naughty doctor roleplay as much as any girl, but it doesn’t mean you actually have to do it.”

“Are you capable of saying anything that isn’t sarcastic?”

“No,” You deadpanned, with as much sarcasm as can be put into a word, making him shake his head a little but he kept his eyes on the road.

“I’m not paying for the car cleaning.”

“Oh no, how will I survive?” Billy said as he pulled over in front of a huge building and you let out a whistle, the throbbing pain in your stomach slowly reaching your head and you gritted your teeth as you pushed open the car door, and stumbled a little as a spark of pain shot through you as soon as you stepped outside.

“Motherfu-“

“Easy,” Billy rushed to help you and you pulled back slightly,

“I can walk.” You said through your teeth, still pressing on the wound and you both walked into the huge building. He steered you towards the elevator by placing his hand on the small of your back and the elevator doors opened with a small ding. He pressed the top button and you snorted,

“Why am I not surprised?” You mumbled as you leaned back to the mirror in the elevator, stubbornly ignoring your reflection. Why was it that every time Billy saw you, you had to be a mess?

The elevator opened and he walked to the door to unlock it. You stepped into his house, for some reason this felt way, way more intimate than anything you had ever done with him. You looked around with your brows raised, the huge living room on your right catching your attention immediately. It was minimalistic, but had an air of elegance still. The open kitchen was integrated with the living room, and to your left you could see a door that probably led to his bedroom.

“Get on the table.” Billy said, making his way to the bathroom and you walked into the living room, feeling out of your element.

“Can’t we just put a band aid on it?” You asked hopelessly as you pulled yourself over the table, cussing under your breath. The jet black table felt smooth under you and you dragged your fingernails on the surface, trying to ignore the sudden insecurity crashing down on you. Compared to your crappy apartment, this place looked like someone had pulled it out of an interior architecture magazine. Not that you expected him to live in a shabby apartment, but this…

This was way too much.

You were pulled out of your inner monologue when he walked inside with a wet cloth, and what looked like an army surgical kit, busy with the needle and you gawked at him, clearing your throat.

“You, um- you’ve got any chloroform?”

He looked up, biting the thin thread between his teeth, “Huh?”

“Nothing. You got booze?”

“You’re gonna go into a coma.”

“Fuck yeah I’m gonna go into a coma because you’re gonna be stitching me when I’m conscious.”

“It’s not gonna hurt that much.”

“Why do I feel like your ‘much’ and my ‘much’ are leagues apart?”

“Lie down Y/N.”

“You’re this bossy with every girl you bring home?”

He managed to shoot you a smirk for the first time in the last half an hour, still holding the thread between his teeth, “This is me being polite.”

You rolled your eyes and lay down to the smooth surface as he approached you and pulled your shirt up slightly so that he could pull the bandage and see the wound. As soon as his fingertips touched your skin, you felt goose bumps rising but you managed to bite your lip and looked at the ceiling, trying to distract yourself.

“Are you always this good at drawing danger to yourself?” he asked as he pushed the needle through your skin and you hissed in a breath, clawing at the surface of the table and tried to breathe through it.

“Hey, believe it or not, I actually had a boring life until you came along with your coat, being all mysterious and shit,” You gritted through your teeth as you blinked back the tears, “I suppose I should thank you though. I could have a shot leg right now.”

He shrugged silently and you winced at the sharp sting, then licked your lips.

“Billy?”

“Hm?”

“I almost got shot, fine, are you sure you’re okay?”

He shrugged again, “Stop fidgeting.”

“But it hurts!”

“Almost done.” He drawled out and you took another deep breath, and exhaled in relief when he ripped the thread with his teeth, then pressed a small kiss to your stomach, making you giggle, your cheeks burning as he looked up at you, his eyes shining mischievously.

“Done.”

You reached out to run your fingers through his slicked back hair and he abstractedly leaned into your touch, closing his eyes as if he was slowly losing himself in the feeling.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he murmured, “Just…not anytime soon, please.”

You scoffed, “I’ll try my best at not getting shot.”

He opened his eyes but this time, the look in his eyes was less fiery, may it be because of your touch or your low voice. For the first time since you had met him, he didn’t look smug, but somehow at peace, as if your mere presence calmed him down a little. You pulled back your hand to sit up on the table carefully, and looked down at yourself, making a face.

“Um- You have anything you can give me? I gotta wash these, I can’t go to work tomorrow all bloody.”

“You’re going to work tomorrow?”

You shrugged, “Don’t blame me, blame the capitalism,” you said, “A sweater or something? It’s gonna be big anyway.”

He nodded slowly and pushed his chair back before standing up to walk to his bedroom. You pressed a hand over your chest to calm down your heartbeat a little, then ran your hands through your hair, trying to make yourself look at least presentable. He came back with a gray sweater and handed it to you.

“Bathroom is right down the hall.”

You nodded and walked to the bathroom, and closed the door behind you, looking around. It looked cleaner that your own bathroom, and more organized. You slowly got out of your shirt and jeans before you turned the water on, and kept them under ice cold water, trying to rinse off the blood. You pumped soap into your hands and onto the clothes and scrubbed at the blood stain until you were satisfied and it was all gone, then twisted the fabric to get rid of excess water before you pulled back to look at yourself in the bathroom. Your knees were already getting bruised from falling on them too hard, the stitches were very visible on the side of your stomach and overall, you looked really messed up. You shook your head slightly and wiped your hands, then got into Billy’s sweater, the warm fabric feeling nice on your skin as his scent reached your nose, making you smile. Even if you knew you weren’t supposed to, you couldn’t resist the urge to snoop around and you grabbed his cologne, smelling it for a second before checking the cream pomade, touching it with the tips of your fingers. You put it back to the sink, biting at your lip before pinching your cheeks to get at least some color on your face, and opened the door.

“You okay?”

“Mm hm.” You nodded, rolling up the sleeves over your wrists “So how much cash am I wearing right now?”

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, “You hungry, Great Depression?”

“Starving.” You said, “Escaping bullets makes you hungry I guess.”

“Pizza?”

“Oh my God yes.”

The following hours went in a blur, which happened a lot when you were with Billy. Before you knew you had eaten a whole pizza by yourself and you were arguing with him over nonsense.

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Russo!”

“Seriously, if you’re gonna be defending teenagers who think they’re in love-“

“Excuse you, did you just say think they’re in love?! It’s Romeo and Juliet we’re talking about, of course they were in love!”

“He loved Rosaline and the next second the dude is all over Juliet, you’d call him a manwhore if he actually existed-“

“That’s true love!” You cut him off and he shook his head,

“You’re impossible to argue with.”

“I’m not gonna let you badmouth the greatest love story in the world.” You yawned and he tilted his head to the right.

“Sleepy?”

“A little, what time is it?”

He checked his watch, “4 in the morning.”

You shut your eyes and groaned, “Jesus, I have work tomorrow…” You whined and stood up, “Okay so… do you have like a blanket or something, I’ll just curl there.” You motioned at the couch and he pulled his brows together.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re hurt.” He said, “You’re sleeping in my bed.”

Your heart beat sped up almost immediately, “Billy, I… um-“

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He said calmly, “You really need to be careful with those stitches so I didn’t mean…“ he cleared his throat as you gawked at him, “It’s not like we could, even if-“

“Wait, what?”

“Y/N, you can’t pop your stitches again, so you need to-“

“So no sex?!” You blurted out, “What?! Dude, are you serious?!”

He looked somehow amused by your outburst and you shook your head slightly,

“Unbelievable. No sex, at all? What am I, in high school?”

“You didn’t have sex with anyone in high school?”

“No one had sex with me in high school.” You corrected him, and let out a whine, “But I was really looking forward to it!”

“Yeah I could tell.”

“With you!”

“I could tell that as well.”

“So we’re- what, we’re supposed to wait like an 18th century couple?” The words left your lips before you had any chance to stop them and your head shot up as you realized what you had just said, “I didn’t mean- I didn’t imply we were a couple. I just- like two people, in a non-couply way, not having sex- are you sleepy? I’m sleepy. Like very sleepy, maybe we should go to sleep. We should definitely go to sleep and not have sex.”

He just stood there, enjoying your visible nervousness and stumbling over your words and licked his lips.

“You’re done?”

You gulped “Yeah.”

“So yeah, you’re taking my bed.” He said, as if you hadn’t just cut him off and made a fool of yourself, but you shook your head.

“Okay, I’m just pulling this idea out of thin air, but what if we both sleep in the bed and no one sleeps on the couch?” You asked, your heart pounding in your ears and he raised his brows,

“You sure?”

“We’re both responsible adults.” To that, he snorted and you rolled your eyes, “Moderately responsible adults, whatever.” You stated, “I mean, why not? We already…kiss and stuff, why don’t we roleplay an old, boring cou-ehm, people.” You changed your mind mid-sentence and he shrugged,

“We already kiss and stuff?” he repeated, and you glared at him,

“Offer going once, going twice-“

“Fine. That is, if the 18th century lady won’t be scandalized?”

You flipped him, making him laugh and turned to walk to the bedroom. “Shut the fuck up.”

“See, we already sound like an old boring couple.” He called out from the living room and you opened the door to his bedroom, taking a tentative step into it. It resembled the rest of the house, simple but luxurious. The bed in the middle of the room was huge, which meant there was more than enough space for both of you. You slowly got into the bed to hide under the covers and almost slipped off the bed but managed to find your balance as he walked inside.

“Silk sheets?”

“Satin.”

“There’s a difference?” You asked while he flung himself on the bed, making you laugh as he pulled you closer.

“Hey,”

“Yeah, fancy boy?”

“Any pain?”

You shrugged slightly “Just a bit. I’m getting used to it, I think.”

He nodded, his fingers brushing your hair off your face and you sighed as he kissed you softly, making you close your eyes and drag your fingernails on the nape of his neck before he pulled back to peck you on the tip of your nose, making you giggle.

“Why did he do it?”

You opened your eyes “What?” You asked, still feeling all giddy inside and he brushed his knuckles against your cheekbone, making it very hard to focus.

“Your brother. Why did he do it?”

And just like that, the warmth inside of you was replaced with an ice cold stake. Your smile faded and you pulled back slightly,

“Billy…”

“I know, you don’t want to tell me. Figured as much.”

“It’s my mess,” you said slowly, “I don’t want to drag you into it.”

“And if I want to be dragged into it?”

You shook your head again, “You can’t be a part of this,” You mumbled, “My brother… he’s the type of a person you need to stay away from.”

“I think you and I both know that I can take care of myself.”

You bit inside your cheek, “My brother can be worse than war.”

“You haven’t seen the wars I’ve been in.”

“Neither have you,” You could feel the tears burning your eyes almost instantly, “Listen I…” You cleared your throat, “The only thing you need to know is that, he’s a horrible person. He got mixed up in some serious shit, and he broke my mom’s heart. My dad’s heart.” You paused, “My heart, I guess. He, um… The last time we talked, he said he’d actually kill me the next time he saw me.”

His jaw muscle twitched as he clenched his teeth, the familiar fire starting to burn in his dark gaze, but when he talked, his voice was controlled.

“He can try.”

You let out a bitter laugh, “He’s not gonna kill me,” you pointed out, “He will just… hurt me. I guess you understood that very clearly, tonight.”

“Y/N…”

“So if he’s that willing to hurt me, his actual sister, I really don’t want to see what he would do to you.”

“Do you honestly think he could hurt me?” There was something in his voice, something much deeper and more dangerous than just arrogance, as if he would actually dare him to even try, and you took a deep breath.

“I don’t…want to see you getting hurt.” The confession left your lips in a whisper and a silence fell upon both of you, until you cleared your throat.

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now.” You mumbled, drawing shapes on his chest with your fingertips, “I can only take so much in a day, and I just- I need this day to be over.”

He looked like he wanted to say no, but in the end he looked defeated by the look in your eye and nodded,

“Sure.” He muttered and pressed a kiss to your forehead and you relaxed in his warm embrace, “Go to sleep. You’re gonna feel better in the morning.”

“Do you swear?”

His low chuckled vibrated through his chest, making you smile slightly.

“Cross my heart.”

“Fuck!” You cussed under your breath as soon as you woke up and grabbed your phone to see the time. You were supposed to be at work fifteen minutes ago, so you pushed yourself off the bed, ignoring the sting in your stomach and rushed to the bathroom to get your clothes. Billy wasn’t in bed, so you figured he must’ve gone out or to work. You quickly got into your clothes and left the bathroom in a rush but stopped dead on your tracks when two figures in the living room caught your attention. Billy and an older man both turned to look at you, and the man frowned slightly, looking between you and Billy, who seemed intent on ignoring him even though he was in his living room.

“Hi,” You tried to smile, catching your breath, “I, um… I’m late for work.”

Billy nodded slowly, “Yeah, sorry. Forgot to wake you up.”

“No problem,” You said, stealing a look at the man and even if you wanted to kiss Billy goodbye, you figured it would be awkward in front of the other man, so you just nodded at him, “See you later.”

With that, you walked out of the apartment and took the elevator. Even if Billy had warned you about the stitches, you figured it was better to have popped stitches than being unemployed, so you ran all the way to the subway, took the train and jumped two steps at a time on your way out, and when you finally reached the café, you were out of breath.

“Dude, you look like a mess.” Vicky commented as you shed your coat and walked to the kitchen.

“I spent the night at Billy’s.”

“Oh really?” Liz asked, walking into the kitchen as well, grinning and you rolled your eyes.

“We didn’t do anything.”

“Why not?” she asked, following you as you walked to one of the tables and you shrugged,

“I have stitches, so we’re supposed to be careful.” You used air quotes, “It sucks.”

“I’d jump on him, stitches or not.” Vicky commented and you scoffed,

“Hurts like a bitch,” You muttered as you walked back to the counter and two policemen walked into the café, looking around before approaching you.

“Can I help you, officers?”

One of them nodded, “Yes. Y/N, Y/L/N?”

You frowned slightly, “Yes?”

“We need you to come to the police station with us, ma’am.” He said, and you pulled back slightly,

“Um-why?”

“One of your neighbors said there has been a discharge of arms in your apartment last night.”

You gulped, adrenaline filling your body before nodding and grabbed a paper and a pen, scribbling down the numbers as Vicky gawked at the police officers.

“What-“

“It’s okay.” You said, even if you felt far from okay and pushed the paper in her direction. “This is Karen’s number, and this is Matt’s. Call them after I leave.”

“Matt?”

“Matt Murdock.” You said as you walked towards the police “My lawyer.”

Part 8 is up!

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