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#to everyone who does care this took 3 HOURS dont ever say i never did anything for youuuyuyu!!!
sunfortune · 2 months
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hiiii i recently watched kanthony (the so called bridgerton show or whatever) and was wondering if u have any fic recs... 👉👈🤭
okay i litchrally have never compiled a list even tho ive been asked before bc i have read too many to keep them organized. but ill do it. Finally. for YOU.
first. my fav period setting fics <33:
tete a tete by caciopepebowl (14k~) this is REQUIRED reading to ME. its a quick read that explores kate and anthonys roles in their family. with an emphasis on KATE specifically bc of the additional hurdles of being a woman with limited funds. and anthony losing his mind on her behalf while shes breaking his heart by being like "the way i was treated was normal?? you dont know anything" and hes like "what? kate you deserved everything. you deserve ALL the love in the world!!" and shes all ">:( well if i do. you do too." . and hes like "oh. well...no. you see.. bc i suck" and shes like -_-. its really sweeeeeet and lovely <3) and really finally gave me the exploring of kates family issues that THE SHOW DID NOT!!!
the longest betrothal by caciopepebowl. (90k~) my FAVVVVV regency setting fic. its sooo good. its basically a continuation that fills in the gap AFTER they get engaged but BEFORE theyre married. and them trying SO hard to be normal about how in love they are lol. SO funny and sweet. and with IMMACULATE characterization
in vino veritas by wagamiller. (~10k) a one shot about kate going to a ladies society event and coming home drunk to anthony and him being soooo smitten with her. sauuuur cute. ive read this like 4 times <3
for reasons wretched and divine by penny_loaf. (~18k. locked fic. need an account.) basically kate and anthony get stuck in a time loop on that first day edwina is receiving suiters. they both think theyre alone in the loop and its depressing until they realize the other is stuck with them too. they try to break the loop and fail repeatedly. after a while they just give up and start fucking bc theres no consequences so who cares LOL. surprisingly tender and sweet
the harsh light of day by burnerraccount. (~22k. locked) explicit one shot. kate has the idea that they should fuck before they get married so theres less pressure on the wedding night. she decides all this without mentioning it to anthony (LOL). so she shows up at his house the night before their wedding. and his footman is like "theres a woman outside to see you" and he in all his goofy almost-married bliss is like "i dont want to see Any woman but my gorgeous, beautiful, amazing WIFE" and his footman is like "well. you see.. it is your wife. uh fiance" and anthonys like "[voice crack] huh ?". very FUNNY
green in its many hues by burnerraccount. kate and anthony decide they are going to be chaste and proper leading up to their wedding. they suck at it SO bad lol
next. modern AUS my best friends <33:
la semi dolce vita by caciopepebowl (~170k) my FAVVVV modern au of ALL time. kate is a private chef. anthonys family hires her when they go on vacation. hes being so normal about it. i promise. this is one of the best characterizations of kate AND anthony in a modern setting. with an extra emphasis on focusing on kate issues. and not JUST anthonys. which is what makes the dynamic sooo good. 10/10. hot. and i love LOVE <3
close encounters of the acutest kind by caciopepebowl (WIP ~74k. only incomplete fic ill put on this list i PROMMY. bc its by the prev author. and i Looove their writing and its sooo good so far <3) kate and anthony meet for the first time the DAY her dad died which is also the SAME DAY hyacinth is born. theyre both having a panic attack and end up running into the same empty hospital room to have it. are then intrinsically linked forever. as one is. run into each other multiple times over the years. with different feelings each time. and they are so normal (lying) <3. i love them
chosen & cherished by trash4ficsaboutlurv. (~42k) this is so underrated. kate runs a charity organization. anthony is CEO of whatever the fuck. she goes to his company when theyre holding some audition for what charity theyre going to invest in and kate is the last speaker and when its finally her turn he doesnt even pay attention. and shes exhausted and overworked and just oveeeer it All. so she just ends the meeting and tells him to go fuck himself. LOL. genuinely really good. and hot <3
sidelines by ramarro. (~60k) this was THE quintessential kanthony modern AU in 2022. took a far fetched premise and somehow made it soooo good. and hot. and cute. kates an artist who sees a picture of anthony on tinder and thinks he looks obnoxious (lol) but screenshots the photo so she can use it for sketching practice. and then she see him and his grown ass on a date with her BABY sister. and shes like well i was right about him. and lets him know to his face how she feels (LOL). its wild. it slays. read it. theres an explicit follow up to it which also slays
three cities and we never lived here by ramarro. (~25k, ~40k) very different modern au where kate and anthony meet on vacation and are very casual with them both not looking for anything (genuinely for once lol) and then seeing each other multiple times over 2-3 years in different cities and still keeping it casual. but slowly slowly slowlyyyy it doesnt feel as casual as it used to. theres 2 fics in this. the first is kates pov. the second is anthony. both very good.
just go with it by suitsusboth. (~18k) kate when booking a flight sees the potential titles like ms, mrs, dr, and "viscountess" listed as a legit option and has a laugh like whos picking this goofy shit and accidentally clicks it. and then on her flight gets upgraded to first class next to anthony bc they assumed she was his wife. and he tries to be mad about it. but well. hes stupid for her in every universe so lol. funny and sweet
the air i breathe and the bane of my existance by the_loosest_moose. (image fic) these are textfics told through instagram, twitter, article and text message screenshots. with some regular text. would just check them out to gauge how you feel about the storytelling method. very fun reads once you get the hang of it
heirlooms by waterlilyrose. (~12k) modern au where kate gets anthonys ring stuck on her finger for days and has to wait to get it off. he is of course very normal about it
a devils love by irony_rocks. (~57k) this may not be for everyone but kanthony season came out around the same time as the batman (2022) and as someone who was crazy insane about both. this was the MOMENT for me in spring 2022. its a crime mafia type au where kates character is inspired by selina kyle and the pebble lounge where she worked in the batman movie. and well. if youre about that specific combo check it out. if you arent i wouldnt recommend this lmao. its not a batman au
break point (series) by penny_loaf. (multiple. ~25k) like prev this entire series gets kind of dark bc it really delves into the pressure of the world its set in. on TOP of the issues kate and anthony already have. i LOVED it. BUT also i am an ANGST and crazy, complicated characters STAN. which may not be the case for everyone.. but again very GORGEOUS to ME <3 and hot. LOL
take me home by kendal_lynne. (~12k) romcom type explicit one shot where kate makes the mistake of telling anthony her ex couldnt make her come. and hes all like i volunteer as tribute PLEASE PKLEASE PLEASE PICK ME CHOOSE ME PLWASEE etc
we never made a sound by writergirl8. (~4k) spy au that was soooooo good and sexy. i wish it was longer
with elaichi by serendipityinwords (~6k) the two biggest bitches at a dinner party find out they're soulmates. LOL. hilarious dialogue
theres probably more i loved that im not remembering rn and maybe ill update this but for now have fun! yippee <3
566 notes · View notes
technowoah · 3 years
Text
Cant Handle This
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Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self
- Quackity x gen neutral reader
- this is a long one yall.
Now playing...
Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)
Bo Burnham
0:01 ─●──────── 3:29
⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread
Part of my Inside Special!
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Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.
You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.
He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.
You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.
"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.
You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.
"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.
◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY
"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."
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Quackity's pov. . .
He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.
◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY
◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??
◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."
Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.
In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.
"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.
He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.
"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."
He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.
TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"
"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.
I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are
Pringle cans, and burritos
The truth is, my biggest problem's you,
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Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.
Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.
"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.
Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.
"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.
He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.
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"I want to please you
But I want to stay true to myself
I want to give you the night out that you deserve"
His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.
"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.
"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.
He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.
He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.
"But I want to say what I think
And not care what you think about it"
Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.
"A part of me loves you,"
Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.
Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.
"part of me hates you"
He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.
"Part of me needs you,"
They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and
"part of me fears you"
He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.
"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"
The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.
If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.
He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.
"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.
He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.
"I don't think that I can handle this right-"
"Alex." You tried to get his attention.
"Yeah guys Im fine!"
"Alex"
"I don't think that I can handle this right-"
"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."
"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.
"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.
You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.
He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.
"I don't think that I can handle this right-"
Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.
"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."
◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU
◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?
◇wuackityoo: are you crying??
"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.
"I don't think that I can handle this right-"
"I don't think that I can handle this right-"
You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.
Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.
As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.
Look at them, they're just staring at me, like
"Come and watch the skinny kid with a
Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts
To give you what he cannot give himself"
He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.
It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.
Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.
"Think that I can handle this right-
I don't think that I can handle this right-
They don't even know the half of this right-
They don't even know the half of it"
"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"
He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.
"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.
"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show
I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"
"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.
You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.
Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.
He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.
"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"
You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme
And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time
"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.
You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.
Handle this right
You don't even know the half of this right now
Right now (Haa!)
Now
Handle this right
I'll handle this right, I handle this right now
Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.
He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.
Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.
"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.
"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.
"Its not I try so hard! And I-"
You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.
"I just ca-cant right now!"
"You dont have to do anything right now babe."
"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.
"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.
You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.
"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.
Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.
He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.
You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.
Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.
"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.
"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.
"That's what I'm telling myself."
Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.
"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"
"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.
"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.
"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.
"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.
"Thank you."
"Thank you
Good night
I hope you're happy"
TRENDING
ARE YOU OKAY
10.1k tweets
QUACKITY
20k tweets
ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?
13.7k tweets
339 notes · View notes
fwkei · 3 years
Text
Remember...?
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Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)
Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy 
TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work
WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)
Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao
------------------------------------
You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.
What now?  
You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing 
You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own. 
You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more. 
“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes 
“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head 
“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up 
“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down 
You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.  
This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat. 
Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid. 
Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything. 
As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face. 
“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you 
“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails 
“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head 
“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair 
“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness 
“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously 
“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly 
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling 
“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema 
“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked 
“Oh good!” they both said 
“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi 
“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited 
“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema 
“A brothel..” you said under your breath 
Your mind was in a serious state of concentration. 
It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor. 
You thought to yourself 
You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement. 
“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands 
“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk 
“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name 
“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin 
“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand 
“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly 
“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head 
“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel 
You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being. 
The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.   
“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour 
“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling 
“I’m sure..!” you smiled 
“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set 
“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again 
“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling 
“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex. 
After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.  
You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest. 
You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile 
“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed 
“Hi!” you said frantically 
“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema 
“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes 
“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready 
As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’ 
You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side. 
“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you
“Yes.” you said smiling 
“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand 
“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down
“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said 
“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands
“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing 
“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling 
“Right!” you said getting up 
“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling 
“Okay.” you said doing as he said 
He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you. 
“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous
“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers 
“Yeah that's right.” you said 
“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes 
“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face
“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said 
“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving   
You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve 
That went pretty well.
You thought 
You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open. 
“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head 
Is this Ken? 
You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you
You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are. 
“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit 
“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks 
“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables 
“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles 
“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant 
“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly. 
“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you 
“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing 
“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly 
“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him. 
“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit 
“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite
“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food 
“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup
“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table 
“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake
He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something. 
“Are you okay?” you asked 
“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought 
“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit 
Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something. 
Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already. 
But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him. 
“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted 
“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt 
“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi
Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave. 
Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?
He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away
Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.
“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you. 
Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work. 
As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember? 
It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before. 
Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.
You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.
“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling 
“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.
“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed 
“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.
“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen 
“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.
“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up  
You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head. 
What now..?
You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.
“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying 
“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi 
Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity. 
How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that. 
“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back
“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face 
“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out 
You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..
Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.
You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.
You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.
“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper 
“Yes.” you said still looking down
“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out 
“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock 
“Come in.” he said 
“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’ 
“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop 
Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot. 
“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you
You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile
“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave 
You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you 
You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry. 
“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said 
“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated 
“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch 
“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes 
“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist 
“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you
“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him 
You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence 
“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face
A lighter?
“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop
“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled 
“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene 
“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone 
The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face 
“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man 
“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight 
“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh 
You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.
“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle 
“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry 
“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried
“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.
“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two 
“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men 
“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face 
“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both 
You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then. 
“Here.” you said smiling at the cops 
“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you
“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks 
You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same 
“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes
“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot 
“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store 
After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.  
“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter 
“..Thanks” he said 
“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling 
“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket
“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him 
“Yeah..” he said smiling 
“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink 
“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said 
“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff 
“Why’d you do it?” he asked 
“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him 
“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face 
“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden
“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously 
“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered 
“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand 
“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing 
“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”
“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “
After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.
“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.
“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up 
“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction 
He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back 
“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled. 
“Likewise.” 
And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down. 
“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”
“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop 
“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement 
“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars 
You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face. 
“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile 
“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face 
“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows 
“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor
“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him 
“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said 
“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked 
“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him 
Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..
“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen 
“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part 
“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes 
“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face
After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock. 
“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear 
“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly  
You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?
He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.
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I'm The Right One For You
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Gif credit @spooky-cory.
Requested by @stellarosedutton. I hope you like it Thanks for the request.
"Rip, Rip, babe"? Snapping your fingers in front of Rips face. You were trying to talk to him about the kids but he seemed like he had something more interesting on his mind and in his sight.
"What"? Rip, huffed turning his head to look at you.
"Where are you right now? I'm talking about the kids and you're off in lala land".
"I have lots of shit on my mind. I cant be talking about the kids, right now". Rip grumbled and grabbed his beer off the table and walked out the door.
You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you watched the kids play with their uncles. You knew this job was hard on Rip but you thought it would be easier if you and the kids were there to help out.  But it just seemed to make things worse for Rip and you.
"You okay"? Lloyd came over and sat down in Rips spot.
"Yeah. I'm good".
"You know, ever since you and Rip got together. I could tell when you lie. It wasnt very often but when you did, you always said "I'm good". Not your normal bubbly self. So what's up"?
"I think, Beth Dutton has finally sunk her claws into Rip. She has been awfully flirty with him and he just shrugged it off at first but now I think they have something going on".
"Why do you think that"?
"He's distance. He never comes home at a descent hour nowadays. We havent had a conversation longer that "get to work". I'm starting to worry.  We havent had sex in months. We use to do it every night".
Lloyd couldnt hold in his laughter. "I'm very aware of that. We could hear you miles away. But dont think to much into it. He's just stressed and hes working to hard". Lloyd tried to reassure you but it didn't help.
"I know. But something is wrong and he wont talk to me". You sigh running your hand through your hair.
"You need some sleep. Why don't you take the kids and head to bed. We'll be quiet".
"Yeah. Thanks for the talk, Lloyd".
"Anytime, sugar". Lloyd sent you a wink as you grabbed up Carson, your 2 year old son and Neveah, your 3 year old daughter with Rip.
Carson was already asleep when you hit home, just a walk down the trial. Neveah was a little chatter box. Opening the door on the house, you got a not so suprising shock. Your suspicions were right. Quickly covering Neveahs eyes with your hand.
"You cheating fucking bastard". Your voice made Beth giggle and Rip freak when he saw you.
"Its not what it looks like". Rip tried to explain.
"Did you slip in shit and went dick first into Beth's pussy"? You asked sarcastically.
"Dont cuss in front of the kids".
"Oh so you can cheat on their mother in front of them. Because this right here will scar them for life before me saying dick and pussy will. You fucking asshole". You grabbed up Neveah and headed back to the bunkhouse.
You kicked the door open as Rip was behind you. Everyone got quiet as you came in.
"Did you all know"? You asked everyone staring at you.
"No". Lloyd looked at you then to Rip with a disappointing look.
"Can you watch them so I can cool off and figure out what to do? Because I'm not staying here". You handed Ryan Neveah and laid Carson down on the beside him.
"Yeah, no problem".
You started outside and grabbed a sledgehammer on your way out that leaned against the house.
"Y/N, what are you doing"? Kayce heard the ruckus and came running out of the main house. Rip didnt follow you. He was probably getting a ear full from Lloyd and the others. They seemed to care about you more than Rip did.
"Stay out of this Kayce". You growled, going up to Beth's car and smashing her back windshield.
"Oh fuck". Kayce exclaimed, his hands going to his hair.
You smashed in her side windows and then her windshield with ease. You were beyond pissed.
"No no no". Kayce went to waving his arms.
Then you went on to Rips truck, you climbed on to his hood and smashed his windshield.
"That's my truck". Kayce yelled his neck vein popping out as the moonlight hit him.
You looked in the truck, there wasn't two carseats for the kids. "Why didn't you tell me beforehand". You screamed back.
"What does no no no mean to you"? Kayce dramatically through up his arms.
"Sorry". You got down from the hood of the truck and walked over to Kayce, who was having a nervous breakdown over his windshield.
"Where's Rips truck"?
"At your house, I'm guessing. Damn it, Y/N. Why did you do that for"?
"I caught Beth fucking Rip in our house".
"Shit, I'm sorry. You can continue on her car if you want"? Kayce chuckled, he tried covering his crying as he went up to his truck. "I love this truck".
"I'll pay for the windshield. Well, Rip will".
"Yeah, okay". Kayce sniffled and turned around to you. "You wanna talk about it"?
"Nah. I'm okay. I saw it coming. It was just a matter of time. I just wish that Naveah hadn't seen it". You handed Kayce the sledgehammer.
"Oh no. I'm sorry. That sucks".
"Yeah, so I'm going to go get the kids and go home. Rip can fuck off. Sorry again about your windshield".
"You need help? Um carrying the kids"?
"Sure. Thanks". You slightly smiled and went to the bunkhouse. When you got in the kids were asleep. Rip was gone and the guys were quietly playing poker.
"Thanks for watching them. I appreciate it". You told Lloyd and the others as you scooped up Carson.
"Any time. We're sorry about you and Rip. We gave him a lashing.  He's sorry".
"Yeah, well. Fuck him. Thanks again".
Kayce and you started walking down to your house. The lights were out so you knew Rip wasnt home.
"You sure you want to stay here? You know, after what happened"? Kayce asked walking up the stairs, Naveahs arms wrapped around his neck.
"Shit. I didnt think of that. We'll just avoid the couch. Just put the kids in their beds". You chuckle as you opened the door. You averted your eyes and headed to Carsons room.  Laying him down gently and kissing his head, before stepping out. Kayce met you in the hall way.
"Before you go can you help me"?
"Sure. Anything".
"You want me to touch that"? Kayce gagged as you laughed. You wanted the couch out of the house.
"Just grab it and let's go".
"They were naked. Doing the nasty".
"I thought you were a country boy. Not afraid of anything. Not some wimp".
"You've seen Rip naked and shit. I havent. I dont want the mental picture and his DNA all over my hands".
"Quit whining. I didnt want to see your sister balls deep on my boyfriend but I did. You can handle a little Rip jizz". You say with a laugh as Kayce dropped his side on the ground quickly wiping his hands off on his jacket with a disgusting face.
"You alright there"?
"Peachy".
"You alright"? Kayce asked.
"Surprisingly well. I thought I couldn't live without Rip, but after catching him. I dont want anything to do with him. Every time I see his face my skin crawls". You say putting your end of the couch down and dusting off your hands.
"Want some coffee"? You asked Kayce.
"You want company"? He replied.
"Yeah, I wont be able to sleep so might as well stay up with you". You snicker as Kayce playfully nudged your arm.
"Gee, thanks. I'm so glad I can keep you company".
"Um, when did you know Beth was after Rip"? Kayce questioned when you set his cup down in front of him.
"Months ago. When we all went to the rodeo. I took the kids to the bathroom and when I came back she had her head and arm laying on him. He just shrugged her off when he saw me. So I knew something would happen or had already happened". You gulped down the steaming hot coffee in your mouth.
"I'm sorry. I know it's not my place to say it but you're better without him".
"What you mean"?
"I mean no disrespect but what does he exactly do for you and the kids? He's hardly ever home. I've never seen him take the kids riding or even play with them. The horse hands do more than he has since you been here. I just dont know what you saw in him". Kayce felt he was treading on thin ice when he said that.
"When I met him, he was drunk. He's funny when he's drunk. We started dating, had Neveah then Carson and everything after changed when we moved in with him. Like we're stepping on his toes or something. Now he doesn't talk to me. So I guess what I saw in him.... I'm not sure anymore".
"You're a single mom basically. Now you're a single woman. What are your plans"?
"I dont know. I guess I can move back to my old house. It hasn't sold yet. Put the kids in daycare and still work here. But then Rip wouldnt want that and I dont want to see Beth all over him. So I'll have to get another job".
"You're really going to leave"? Kayce acted crushed.
"There's nothing here for me".
"I'm here. The guys are here". Kayce licked his lips as he looked at your lips.
"They dont want a mother with two kids here, weighing them down. Especially you, you dont need that".
"What if I want that"? Kayce looked into your eyes.
"Kayce, stop".
"What? I know you feel this connection between us. It's been there". Kayce stepped closer to you. His hand reached for yours on the counter top.
"I just broke up with Rip. You really decided that this was the perfect time to confess your love for me". You nervous chuckle.
"There isn't a better time then now. I want you. I may not be the man Rip is but I'll take care of you and the kids. I'll treat them as my own. You can move in with me and smother me with your toys and love". Kayce grinned.
"They do have lots of toys". You say looking around the house.
"What about Rip and Beth"?
"They have each other. Why cant we be happy together"?
"I dont know, Kayce".
"We'll take it slow. How about this Saturday, we go on a date. The guys can watch the kids and we'll get to know each other. I'm funny without being drunk,  I have other great things about me. Plus I'm cute and you can't say no to this face". Kayce pointed to his face with a smirk.  
"Okay. I'll go on a date with you. I don't want to hurt the kids if they get attached and we dont make it".
"I understand. But I have a feeling we're going to make it. I even see a little Dutton in our future". Kayce pulled you close, wrapping his arms around your waist.
"Is this you being funny or have you lost your mind"? You laugh, putting your hands on his chest.
"I'm just sure that we'll be together. We're going to have a great future together". Kayce leans in and captures your lips with his.
This all took you by surprise. You didnt know Kayce felt this way about you. But deep down you felt in your heart that this all happened for a reason and Kayce was meant for you. You just took a detour, a bumpy road and went off a cliff but was rescued by a cowboy named Kayce Dutton imagine that.
328 notes · View notes
satoruvt · 3 years
Text
for a moment i forget to worry
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pairing → xu minghao x reader
word count → 3196
genre → fluff + angst, college au ↳ tags: strangers to friends to lovers </3, college kinda sux, ROOMMATE CHAN MAKES AN APPEARANCE OR TWO, dance major minghao, reader is completely lost but its ok who isnt, lots of cute couple stuff, pov ur entire relationship with minghao. thats it, a sad break up scene, a solid amount of crying
summary → there’s something about minghao. maybe it’s the way he dances, vibrant and youthful, or maybe it’s the way he loves you. based off of hunger by florence + the machine.
warnings → i hint at sex but its pretty vague, i also mention a breakdown type deal (revolving around school/life after school)
a/n → first of all this was NOT supposed to be 3k words i dont know how it happened. second of all i’m only kind of happy with this HAHA i feel like the story itself isnt bad but i wanted it to match the song more ... idk :/ i hope u guys like it regardless !!!
pieces of you masterlist
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The first time you see him is by accident.
Really - all you’re doing is trying to find Chan. You’re passing by the practice rooms, looking into them in hope he’ll be there, stopping to gaze at decorations and medals and trophies lined up on the walls. It’s when you approach a room that music plays from that you think you’ve found Chan, but when you gaze in, it’s definitely not him.
You don’t know who it is, but he moves like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
It’s hypnotizing, almost makes you want to drop your things and dance with him. There’s a sense of youth that comes from him and it’s almost overwhelming - but it’s not in energy, necessarily, but rather from the precision of his movements, the technicalities that he seems to both follow and break at the same time. Something vibrant seeps out between the seams of his body, colors you can barely recognize as they splash against anything they can reach. It’s almost tangible. 
You watch him long enough for him to finish his performance (an unknowing one) with the last notes of a song you forgot was even playing. His eyes meet with yours, slow as he completes an eloquent turn, and at the same time, a hand meets your shoulder.
A small wave of embarrassment washes over you, and you turn towards whoever touched you, effectively breaking eye contact. “What are you doing here?” Chan asks, hair still wet from what you assume was a shower.
“Looking for you,” you tell him, following as he starts to walk towards the exit. “I wanted lunch, and you owe me for that time I took your British literature quiz for you.”
Chan groans but agrees to pay, and you laugh, though the world seems a little paler than it did a few moments ago.
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The second time you see him is by chance.
(Maybe.)
You’re waiting for a lecture to start, tapping your fingers against your laptop idly as you watch students trickle in last minute. It’s not a strict course, but it does start at nine in the morning, and most everyone shows up with a coffee.
You look down to brush a stray hair off of your table, and when you look up again, the dancer from before walks through the door, then looks right at you.
You feel a blush heat your face and it’s like he wants to make sure that you know that he knows, because he almost refuses to look away. You break eye contact first (like the last time, you remember for no reason) but still watch as his figure moves up the stairs, past the rows, and you hope he’ll just move past you too…
He doesn’t. He takes the empty seat right next to yours, and you don’t say anything, instead finding the peeling sticker on your laptop incredibly interesting. The professor comes in and decides that today he’ll take extra long to set everything up, apparently, and you want to scream.
“So,” the dancer says, voice quiet. It takes your breath away, the way he sounds. “Mind if I ask why you were watching me the other day?”
You cast a glance at him - not too long, you don’t think you could handle more than five seconds tops - and finally open your laptop so it makes you look busy. “I was waiting for a friend.”
“And?”
The smile in his voice is palpable. You’re already exasperated.
“You…” you start, finally deciding to look at him as some sort of subconscious power move. “You’re a beautiful dancer. It was hard not to watch.”
Beautiful doesn’t even cover half of it, but you figure he already thinks you’re weird for watching him, so you hold back the thoughts of youth and vibrancy and color. The dancer looks at you, almost blank for a moment, before a soft smile draws itself on his face. It makes your heart beat a little faster. He says “thank you” with a gentle tone, sincerely felt.
The class starts, and the two of you don’t speak throughout the next hour and a half. You type out notes on your laptop and you see him write down names of the paintings being shown on the projector, little thoughts and notes written afterwards.
By the end of class, your professor assigns an optional partnered project, and you’re more than prepared to head back to your apartment and start on it yourself. The dancer stops you before you leave, however, asks if you’d like to be his partner.
(And he says it like that, would you like to be my partner, polite and somehow sweet.)
You know your answer. “I don’t even know your name,” you stall, standing from your chair. 
“Minghao,” he tells you. “I’m Minghao, and I’d like for you to be my partner.”
You say yes easily, put your number into his contacts even easier. The sky is blue when you leave the lecture hall, trees dotted with pink and purple flowers, and it is all so bright that you forget it wasn’t this way in the first place.
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The third time you see him is for school.
Underneath the excitement of giving Minghao your number, there is the knowledge that it’s for the sake of an assignment. He texts you the day after to ask if you’re free to meet up to work and you tell him sure.
(Sure is what you send back, but he doesn’t have to know that you burst into Chan’s room immediately after, plunging face first into his bed just to scream into his pillows. Chan had sighed, turned around in his desk chair to look at you, then asked what happened. He gave you two minutes to rant and then kicked you out, back to your own room.)
You and Minghao agreed to meet at the library on a day that neither of you had any afternoon classes, and you get there early, spend some time working on other classes. You have somewhere around thirty minutes to freak out to yourself before you see Minghao come in, dressed like he knows what he’s doing to you (which is really just a hoodie and jeans, but you think it’s the cap that really pulls the whole boyfriend look together), smiling when he finds you at a table in the corner.
“How are you?” is the first thing he says when he sits down, and you pull down your laptop screen a little to see him better.
“I’m good,” you say, feeling your heart pound. “What about you?”
Minghao sends you a kind smile. “Really good. Should we get started?”
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You lose count of how many times you see him after that.
Meeting up to work on the project soon becomes just meeting up, and after the project’s done and turned in, it happens even more. You hang out and get lunch, send each other texts and stupid videos, take walks around campus together. The weeks pass, summer mellows into fall, then into the early days of winter. You develop a genuine friendship with him, finding comfort in his presence, looking for him wherever you go. 
(Although the crush is still there, potent and patient, stubborn in a way you’ve never experienced before. You wonder if it’s a sign of some sort.)
You’re in one of the practice rooms with him, sitting in the corner. You had a class nearby and he’d wanted to practice a little more, so you told him you’d work on your own stuff while he finished up and then the two of you could grab something to eat.
But you made a small error on your part - the dancing. You’d forgotten the way he moves (you haven’t seen him dance since that first time) and in no time at all you’re letting your screen go dark in front of you and watching him. Honestly, it’s not your fault, you really can’t help it. 
But of course he notices.
Minghao meets your eyes through the mirror and raises his eyebrows at you, and all you can do is look away, desperately try to get your laptop up and running again so at least it seems like you weren’t watching him for too long.
“You’re staring,” he says, long after you’ve looked away.
“Sorry,” you tell him anyways, immediate, quick. 
Then he says, “I never said anything about stopping.”
In a second, you look up from your laptop and up at him. He moves closer, crouches in front of you. His eyes are kind - they’re never not - but you think you see something a little more in them. “Sorry, I think I missed that last part,” you respond, blinking. Minghao smiles like you’re endearing.
“I said I want you to keep looking at me.”
You think you’re barely breathing when he shuts your laptop for you, slides it off of your lap and onto the floor (gently, with care, and it’s a wonder to you how he can focus on that right now). He practically crawls over you, one of his hands eventually reaching the junction of your jaw and neck and holding there. “I’m gonna kiss you now, if that’s okay,” he says, but doesn’t move. You nod as soon as his words reach your brain, eager and quick.
And the next few hours get a little wound up in your head, a little mixed in with the feeling of his body - that moves so youthfully, with so much vibrancy that it reaches everything around you - melting into yours and the sound of him asking you to tell me what you need, honey, and the still-playing slow jam music he was practicing to.
You watch him sleep next to you, hand curled around yours against his pillows, and think that nothing bad could ever touch him.
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The two of you… come together, after that.
Neither you nor Minghao use any proper labels, but you both seem to know. No labels are needed, really. You have each other and that’s all there is to it. And everything is really good.
You work together and laugh together like you’ve always known each other. He tries to teach you to dance with him when you’re in the practice room with him, pulls you up by your hands and guides you through your giggles. He was the first person you called when you realized that you had no idea what you were working towards, didn’t have a clue what you actually wanted to do with your life. He gets along well with your friends and you text his because they’re basically yours, now, too.
Winter turns back into spring, slow and easy. Vibrant and youthful. You’re not able to meet Minghao’s parents, but he meets yours (and you’re sure a quick introduction to his mom over a FaceTime call has to count for something). The two of you take advantage of the newfound warmth of the season and try to get out as much as you’re able to, with picnics and city dates and anything you can think of. A drawer in his dresser is reserved for your things, you bought an extra toothbrush for him to use when he stays over.
You watch him dance. It still feels like the first time, like color and breathlessness. You tell him he’s beautiful every time, feel yourself fall a little deeper when he still gets bashful amidst his comedown. You tell him you love him for the first time after he gets done with a performance - a proper one, for a showcase of the dance club he’s in. He says it back.
You think he put all the stars in the sky just for the two of you to gaze at them together.
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Things shift the beginning of your junior year.
Minghao tells you about a program he’s applying to, a proper dance academy in New York that could really kickstart his career. Training under some of the best choreographers and performers in the world.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask him after he tells you, and he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. You’re studying at his apartment tonight.
“It’s just…” he frowns. “It’s so far away, you know?”
Oh. You hadn’t even thought about that, too caught up in the excitement of him being able to apply at all. A quick sigh leaves your lips, and then you reach for his hand, hold it between both of your own.
“That’s okay,” you tell him, though now that you’re thinking about it, you feel nervousness in the pit of your stomach. “We can work something out, though, when we get that far. We’ll figure it out.”
Minghao nods, a fond look in his eyes. He pulls one of your hands to his lips. “We’ll think about it if I even get accepted,” he says.
It’s bittersweet, but a promise nonetheless.
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Fifteen minutes after you get a call from Minghao, there’s a knock on your door. 
You wouldn’t necessarily say you’re worried, but, well. Everyone’s experienced the jump of anxiety when they get hit with the “I want to talk to you about something” line. Nonetheless, you stand from the couch to open the door, mentally preparing yourself for any and everything. 
“Hey,” you greet when you see Minghao, opening the door to let him in. His face is unreadable. “Everything okay?”
He walks a few steps into your apartment, waits for you to close the door before turning back around to face you. Then he holds up a piece of paper, the creases from where it was folded still bending. You send him a confused look.
“I got in,” he says, a grin breaking on his face, and you blink, then feel your jaw practically hit the floor. Minghao only nods like he understands, and before you know what you’re doing, you launch yourself at him, holding him close.
“Oh my god, Hao, that’s amazing,” you say into his sweater, then step back to get a proper look at him. Youthful, vibrant. “I’m so proud of you.”
He seems to soften at your words, pulls you back into him again with a gentle kiss to your head. “Thank you for believing in me,” he tells you, tenderness palpable in his voice. All you can do is squeeze him tighter.
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Minghao spends a lot of time away from you after that.
You’re not really hurt in any way - even though he got into the academy in New York, he still has to practice. You get it, this is important. He doesn’t text you as often, isn’t able to stop by as much, and you miss him, but you know how much this means for him. But it gets… weird, almost, after a while. Strange, even for him. It feels weird that he’s set to leave at the end of January and it’s December and he’s distant.
Both of you are laying in your bed, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling, when you decide to bring it up. “You’ve been… kinda far away lately,” you start, nudging him with your shoulder gently. “Everything okay?”
His eyes stay on your ceiling, but you feel the way he sighs. “It’s about the program,” he says.
“Okay.”
“And about… you and me.”
Oh. That doesn’t… sound the best. “About, like… what we’re gonna do?”
Minghao nods.
You say, “I wouldn’t mind visiting every so often. It’d be hard, but I’m sure we could find something to work.”
Minghao shakes his head, says, “no.”
You pause, and when you look at him he’s already looking at you. What does he mean by no? Does he want you to move with him? Or does he -
He reaches for your hand and you think oh.
His eyes are a little glassy. You feel the tears come, too.
“Oh,” you say out loud. Minghao squeezes your hand. “So this is… this is it?”
Your room is suddenly cold, and you want to crawl under the covers and stay there. The person in front of you is blurred into something unrecognizable, but you can’t be bothered to blink away your tears.
“I think so, love,” he whispers back to you. “I think it has to be.”
The two of you cry like that for a while. In your bed, loosely intertwined and broken. Even the way Minghao cries carries a kind of vibrancy that’s overwhelming, makes you think of the first time you saw him so long ago, and now -
When you manage to get a better grip on yourself, you ask him if you can still see him off at the airport. He says, “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”
Then you ask if you can kiss him again. He responds by kissing you first. 
And it’s sad, it tastes like salt and sorrow and you feel like the promises you never got the chance to make are broken. It feels like the most beautiful blue you’ve ever seen, and you know it’s only a branch of Minghao’s color.
He leaves soon after that, pulls on his shoes and his coat and turns around at the door to give you a tired smile. After he’s gone, you drag yourself to Chan’s bedroom, and once he sees the state you’re in, he offers up one side of his bed. Neither of you say anything, but the friendly reassurance of his hand in yours says enough.
You don’t fail to notice that everything seems to be washed out, a blandness you’re not used to.
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The last time you see him is at the airport.
It’s a cold day, despite being sunny. The airport offers little warmth, but you figure it doesn’t matter. You won’t be here for long. 
It doesn’t take you very long to find Minghao - you still look for him wherever you go, even if you’re not looking for him. Even then, it’s still so easy for you to find him, to pinpoint that vibrancy, that youth. He’s talking to a few others, you think you met them. Soonyoung and Jun.
Minghao meets your eyes and you freeze, but then he waves you over with a gentle smile. You follow like you think you always will. 
You greet Soonyoung and Jun and the four of you talk, albeit a little awkwardly, even when Soonyoung tries his hardest to lighten the mood. Eventually he has to leave, and Jun follows with a shy goodbye. They both hug Minghao before they go.
You’re not sure what to say, but after a minute, you find words. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” you tell him, a little selfishly. 
Minghao says, “you’ll do good. I know you will. I’m not worried about you.”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and you think he’ll give you a stiff and sad goodbye, but he steps a little closer to you. Looks at you the way he used to.
“Maybe…” he starts, then pauses. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”
Maybe, you think. Maybe.
“I hope so,” you tell him, then watch as he leaves.
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deleteddewewted · 3 years
Text
Incel!Shinsou Oneshot: "Why are you acting like that?”
To keep busy I just thought that a oneshot of Shinsou getting self conscious/needy would be cute since we already have his redemption arc rolling in. The next part of the Incel!Shinsou series (Part 3) will have him proving his worth at the Sports Festival. So in thinking of how he will prove himself to you I thought of how will all of those people affect him, especially you. ( This oneshot takes place pre changes, so Shinsou is still his disgusting self but he's figuring out how to woo a woman, especially of your caliber.)
Incel!Shinsou Series:
Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader
Part 2: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader
Incel!Shinsou Headcanons
"I know what you're doin' here. Made your intentions clear. Oh you, you terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Beautiful thing"
TW: Strong Language, Mild Sexism
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People were never an obstacle when it came to the things Shinsou wanted. He’s aware that others would do anything for him if he played his cards right. The right words with the right question did wonders for him. So why the fuck couldn’t he have what he wanted when it came to you? You drove him up the wall with the kindness you showed him. He didn’t deserve it and you’re existence almost felt like a punishment from whatever deity that existed out there to make him suffer. You guys were suppose to be studying for your upcoming project that required a poster, a slide show, and one influential person that would help prove your projects point. You left him running circles within his own mind as to how you were so willing to challenge him. He wanted you to obey him not see through his bullshit. It wasn’t like you didn’t listen to him vent, or didn't give him attention, but he wanted to hold you under his control. To be the person you listened to.
In class you where both seated on the extreme ends of the room on opposite sides. You never realized this (you do), but his head would periodically turn towards your direction to look at you, to figure you out (liar). This time, you managed to catch him do it.
“What are you doing?” You asked plainly. You honestly didn’t care that he was staring, everyone does when you dress like you're attending an MCR concert in the middle of autumn.
“You look different....today.”
“Nice.” It was difficult to care. Shinsou was just some guy in your class that you had to deal with. Nothing special really....ok, maybe it wasn’t fully true. You didn’t really know him all that well or anything (Unless it was mocking and belittling everything you did, that was normal behavior for him so it wasn’t surprising to find out he was like that outside of campus.) but he wasn’t all that bad? If he cared for himself a bit more, hygiene wise he would be considered handsome or at least a competent human being (you weren't going to call him a man, men don't act this childish. At least the ones you knew.) Maybe then you would take his opinion seriously, but for now you’ll ignore his...interesting comments he's been throwing towards you today.
“It’s rude to ignore someone when their talking to you, you know?” The neutral face he had now possessed a frown and a furrow to his brows. You still couldn’t process how he took the time to make sure his hair stayed purple but didn’t care for his body odor. (This man dyes his hair purple yet cant bother to shower or use deodorant for once in his life.)
“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just not interested in anything you have to say.” With that you get up and take your things and leave. There was no point in wasting time on someone who couldn’t even look at you directly and had to also sneak glances at you. "Do I really look that unbearable?" you thought to yourself. In the end you didn’t care anymore, everyone was entitled to an opinion and the last thing you need is feeling self conscious because of your out of place classmate.
Shinsou was fuming. How the fuck did you just get up and leave his ass while he was trying to complement you. You should have been more appreciative that he was giving you his attention for once. A bitch like you wasn't even worth it so he doesn't understand why he even tried with you.
He never goes directly home after school but instead to the local theater. It was one of the few places where he could be around others and could genuinely be himself. It was weird, he didn't feel like himself when he was speaking with his "friends", friends that he's never spoken to verbally, never seen, and never would meet. He knew that he didn't deserve this, to have a safe haven when he acts like an ass, yet here he was.
"Good morning Shinsou! How are you? Are you ready for rehearsals? You did remember to read your lines, right?" Shinsou rolls his eyes at his theater mates antics. Monoma never seems to stop but he does know when to tone it down and when it comes to Shinsou he tones it down a bit. (Because Monoma is canonically considerate of others, look back the Sports Festival and the Joint Training Arc.)
"Im good man, yes i did read and memorized the script, dont worry about it." What an odd friendship, the most chaotic gentleman like man out the bunch with the quietist incel in the group. Shinsou should have seen it coming when he was adopted by Monoma but he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep so he doesn't really care.
Believe it or not Shinsou does take showers (only for theater) but very quickly and with no care (no shampoo or soap, fucking why man.) Theater means more to him and so making his character look the best they possible can was his first and foremost priority. He puts on his costume, gets to makeup (the minimum, because it's "gay" for him to wear makeup and since the world is unfair and cruel he has perfect skin for a greasy headed asshole.)
"Everyone get a move on! Kodai, Tsuburaba, and Awase! Go to stage left! Light techs, how's it up there?" One of the tech heads shouted out. Shinsou and Monoma got to their positions on the stage and the rehearsals began.
Love, the play was about love. Love that wasn't rejected but also not accepted. He didn't understand the concept fully. Was it romantic? Platonic? Familiar? Admiration? He loved his dad, but he mostly admired him. He worked long hours and middle resents him for not being there for him, yet he realizes that his dad works to give him the world, a home with all the things he wanted. He never had a mother so he never had parental or familiar, again his dad was there but he wanted a parent that would hold him when he came back from school everyday. He didn't have a girlfriend, so he doesn't know romantic. So far all of his characters where villains, or evil in some way. He was starting to get sick of them. Shinsou wanted something more, wanted to play a character that wasn't how everyone saw him as on his day to day life. He wanted a challenge, he wanted....affection. Just to show it. He wanted attraction. Just to abuse it. He wanted...love. To just...maybe...feel...enjoy...understand it.
"You terrible thing you. My love, you're so cold. You've left me hanging on every one of your words. You've made me loose my self, lose my self-control because of you!" He pours everything into his performance, his loneliness, his regrets, his experience. He's been told by his co-performers and directors that he has a great future in the arts, in theater. If he just took care of himself more he would be an amazing actor, not only incredibly talented but also attractive. He would have the world kneeling, bowing to him just from his words alone. He could have anything he wanted just because of his existence.
" You've made me do things i don't want to do...for you." Kodai stands there looking horrified. He's covered in blood, the blood of her lover, the one she left him for.
"No, i-i didn't-"
"YOU MADE ME-MADE DO THIS FOR YOU! You terrible, terrible, terrible thing! You beautiful thing, I've done this for you!...and you still cant and won't love me." He doesn't see Kodai anymore. It's not her face he sees, nor her voice that he hears.
Its you...its your voice. You. You looking back at him while he slowly lowered himself to kneel and crawl towards you. It's you who backs away from him as he starts to cry and hiccup.
"You wreck me, you made me. You leave me in your wake, please let me go!" He sees you and feels you grabbing his wrists back, pushing him into himself.
"Don't you ever let me go...."
You terrible beautiful thing, you.
And here we are again. This was a lot fun to write since it feels more concrete when it comes towards his personality and his full thought process. In many cases people like Shinsou just want attention or some sense of validation, which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but it's more about the manner you go about it. You shouldn't pressure or force others to spend time with you, but there is always someone out there that will like to give you those things.
Tag list: @blossominglark
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gayenerd · 3 years
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Interview with Billie for the Kerrang Yearbook. Sounds like this took place around 2000-2001?
Hello Billie Joe. A bit pissed at the Kerrang Awards weren't you? "I was drinking with Papa Roach the night before. Everybody went to see The Cult in Brixton. All the American bands like Papa Roach and Queens Of The Stone Age were there. I felt terrible when I got out of bed to go to the Kerrang Awards." Who ended up worse off - you or Coby Dick? "Sometimes Coby can't even hold it together when he's sober! He's super-hyper all the time. You have to say, 'Coby, turn it off for 2 minutes - I'm in my bunk!' Then he'll turn it off and you can get into a decent conversation." You experienced some difficulty in getting off the stage after accepting your Kerrang Award. "Award's shows freak me out - I'm so scared shitless of those things so I end up doing stupid things. I never theought I'd ever win an award for playing music. Watching all our videos being shown up on the screen, I just looked at Mike and Tre and said. 'Does this mean we're old now?' I can be such a self-conscious freak. I just don't know how to be cool." What's the healthiest thing you've done this year? "I like to keep myself fit. I run, I skateboard, and i'll hit the weights every other day. You reach a certain age when you've gotta start looking out for yourself. I'm staring down the barrel of 30, you know? My dad really let himself fall to @#%$ and I don't want to end up like that. Theres a preconcieved idea about musicians and punk musicians in particular that we have to self-destruct, and I can't buy into that. I like to breathe. Like like it when my heart beats - Its a really cool thing." Have you cut down on your drinking recently? "When i'm on tour I drink all day long with the guys. There's nothing else to do. But i've been at homea while. There are many, many moods to Billie Joe. There's drunk me and theres not-drunk me." What have you learned about being a father during the past year? "You learn new things every day as your kids' characters and personalities are building. Joey is 6 now, he's not a baby at all, he's a little boy. And Jacob, who's 3, is a maniac. The one rule I have is that I never expose them to television." What have you learned about Tre and Mike this past year? "Wow (long pause). I learned that Mike is a Bob Dylan fan, which was kind of suprising. I'm not the biggest fan but I definately appreciate Bob Dylan. And Tre is becoming really fluent in Spanish. His wife is Nicaraguan." What color has your hair been this year? "I shaved my head when I got off the road. Its been black. I haven't really been changing it. When the boy groups started dyeing their hair, I had to stop." Any fashion tips you'd care to pass on to Kerrang readers? "I've been wearing the same pants since High School! Never been into the Versace thing." Best punk rock song you've heard this year? "Last Nite by The Strokes. They're not really a punk band, but those guys have a really cool outlook and a good sensibility about how they present themselves. All the rap rock metal bands have lost that rock'n'roll element, and i'm just a sucker for good rock'n'roll music." What song has been stuck in your head this year, even though you hate it? "Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm. It was bad when Michael Jackson sang it, but it's even worse second time around! Y'know, I think Michael Jackson should join Slipknot. His face looks so bizarre now, its like he's wearing a mask." Are Slipknot still the scariest dudes in rock? "In about a year from now, if they're still as popular as they are now, they'll be as American as apple pie. That's sort of what happened to Marilyn Manson. When he came out he was really scary looking, like 'Jesus Christ! This guy is a maniac!' But now its, 'Oh, theres Marilyn, mowing the lawn, no big deal.' I like Manson, but it's funny how the most normal people end up being the most threatening, and the people who are scariest at first end up kinda normal. That's the dissapointing thing about shock value. Neil Young is more threatening than Slipknot just because he's smarter and has more of an opinion." How much fun did you have on tour in 2001? "It's really exciting at first because you're in different places every day, but after a while i'd rather be home. I get into really long conversations with my wife, I talk to my kids a lot, I'll write little notes and draw pictures for them and fax them to the house. Our sets are getting longer, sometimes we'll play up to three hours, and its because there is no rock'n'roll lifestyle for me other than that. I'm a devoted husband and a devoted father, and so all that decadent bullshit is not my thing. You start to wonder, 'Is this the life for me?' But then I get home and I dont know what the @#%$ to do with myself because i'm not playing music. People have looked at us and gone, 'Obviously these guys have no place to go after the gig because they're still on stage!'" Where were you on September 11? "I was on West Coast time, so it was really early in the morning for me. I saw the towers fall, and it felt like the world was gonna end. What amazes me is that Tony Blair is almost heading the coalition by himself! Does he realise what he's getting his country into? This is @#%$ serious! There's been a lot of shocking words used: the 'crusade against terrorism'. The las thing you say to someone from the Middle East is the word 'crusade'." After September 11, do you share America's renewed sense of patriotism? "No way. I can't really see myself as a patriot. I don't see what happened in New York as an act of war, it's an act of terrorism. Every country has had to deal with terrorism in some form, and this is the first time America has ever seen it and they dont know what to do, so everyone is clinging to these war slogans. All the flags is people's cars and homes - it just seems kind of gross to me." Has American learnt from the tragedy? "I hope some good stuff comes out of this. People have become so self-absorbed and dedicated to their careers. I'm not a person to wave a flag for family values or anything like that, but there comes a time when your relationships and your family is the most important thing, not whether you're making $100,000 every year. Thats what I hope comes out of it - that people realise the important things in life." Six Of The Best Best Friend: " Valium. Lots of plane flights, man. Valium only lasts four hours, so if you're on an 11 hour flight take two and a half." Best advice: "Put your head between your knees if you think you are gonna pass out." Best Ass: "Tre Cool. Not only because he has one, but because he is one." Personal Best: The pinnacle moment for me this year, musically, was playing Reading. It was a great show. There's so many bands nowadays who can't play live, but to actually do it and have people singing along and getting something sentimental out of it at the same time, thats rare, and we achieved that at Reading." Best Night Out: "The furst night I went out after september 11. I really went for it. American has these feelings of its days being numbered. It's like a country that has just got cancer, but the cancer's in remission. A lot of people are doing all the things they've always talked about doing. I hadn't partied really hard in a while, so that's what I did. I went to a couple of bars with Mike and Tre and our producer. We got loud and had a good time." Best Buy: " My cellphone. The ring tone is just a goofy tune. And it vibrates well in my pocket."
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garrothromeave · 3 years
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the hell is mystreet season 6??
(warning, long post ahead)
ok so before i start this
1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end
2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember
3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares
4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 
5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.
haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass
ok here we go 
one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.
anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.
one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.
like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 
and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 
side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 
the actual thingy:
ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:
-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck
-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 
-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 
-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 
-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 
-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 
-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes
-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming
-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee
-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’
-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever
-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I
-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 
-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)
-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn
-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad
-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point
-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 
-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all
-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol
-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:
a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.
b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.
c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.
d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained
now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)
but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.
and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more
anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 
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shattered-catalyst · 3 years
Text
Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?
This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.
If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.
OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.
This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.
 Whomst can write it? 
Literally anyone as long as you 
● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives 
● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.
● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.
● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here* 
● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.
. What isnt OCD? 
● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective. 
● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical 
● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)
 ● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD. 
● Making sure objects are lined up neatly 
● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes
● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)
The Barest minimum 
Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it. 
OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.
1. Obsessions are the thoughts 
2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC 
3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks
 4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed 
*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD. 
Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts: 
Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far. 
First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples. 
Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc 
This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought. 
Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions. 
The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them. 
If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form. 
Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else 
I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain. 
This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.
Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain. 
Again for clarity's sake 
If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff 
If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals 
If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD 
Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything. 
What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks. 
Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered. 
● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience. 
Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong. 
Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. 
This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .
 It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.
It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds. 
It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.
Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful; 
● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.
● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.
● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses. 
● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that... 
● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars. 
To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity. 
Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture. 
In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 
OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ; 
Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD), 
Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.
OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment. 
OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.
OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.
OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not
OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations. 
OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses. 
OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that. 
OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety! 
OCD according to NIMH statistics 
1.2% Occurrence among US adults 
2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults 
34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning
OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:
Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high
ADHD
Autism 
GAD
Eating Disorders
Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts
Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.
Batman (DC)
Riddler (?)(DC)
Domino (Marvel)
 Cyclops (Marvel)
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i-did · 3 years
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what would make renee angry in your opinion?
I had a really hard time answering this one actually. I thought about it for a while and asked a lot of my friends to see if they had any ideas, and here's what I came up with:
1) A professor or TA who is super shitty to her
Just a really shitty teacher.
as she goes through college, she’s bound to run into some assholes, and I don’t think Renee has perfect grades in the past or present. her not knowing academic terminology and feeling out of place in the college setting would make a lot of sense for a lot of the foxes, and Renee is good on putting on a smile, but she still eventually gets that one professor or TA that scoffs at her questions and “doesn’t have time for the likes of her” and the constant complete dismissal digs painfully under her skin and brings out her anger.
2) People who are intensely rude to her despite her best efforts to be as kind as she can be
Renee is patient, but we all have our limit. similar to the one above, but Renee dealing with someone who is just rude all the time and she struggles to keep reminding herself “we all have bad days, I don’t know what they’re going though.” Renee working in a coffee shop and a woman bumping into Renee and spilling her coffee on herself, only to yell at Renee for an hour, ignoring all of Renee’s pleasant customer service smiles. said customer later on becoming a regular and repeating this behavior, cutting off people in parking lots and flipping them off, Renee being kind and trying to give her a free scone only for the woman to tell her she hates scones, Renee offering something else only for the woman to tell her to shut up. that shit wears you down, and Renee still dumping her kindness onto someone every time only for it to backfire or be dismissed would make her have to take a few deep breaths in the back room before deciding, fuck it, she's cut off from active kindness, now only passible neutrality and not being aggressive is enough. 
3) someone who refuses her help
her knowing she could really make a difference, but some people just don’t want help, and she feels helpless and angry. she's not angry at the person, but the situation of them not being ready to accept help or even able to accept help makes her so frustrated she would start to grind her teeth in her sleep. She understands how it is, how hard it can be to take the first step to change or giving up pride or whatever the hurtle may be, but that doesn’t make it any easier than her thinking in her head “just let me fucking help you!!! or anyone!!! just let anyone in to help you!!!! fuck!!!” inside her head. she knows not everyone needs help or saving, but some people do, and when they shove her back, unwilling and not ready for it over and over while she’s trying to save them, she gets frustrated that she can’t.... do anything. and just has to wait. but Renee can be patient, and she’s willing to wait. 
4) Someone actively trying to wear her down and get under her skin
okay so this isn’t something that happens often, the closest Renee has really come to it is with Andrew when he first was scoping her out. but– if someone was actively trying to aggravate her, laughing at everything she said and making fun of her, pulling at her looser strings and picking at her ticks, watching to see what brought out her reaction, they could eventually do it and get under her skin. i think she wouldn’t let herself blow up at them since thats what they want, but she would silently excuse herself from the situation to take a breather. no one really does this with her, and Andrew only does this to size her up and even still his interrogation isn’t the type of harassment i’m imagining. i mean like old school bullying, not locker shoving, but the middle school girl shit that leaves emotional scars. and them being older, they’re less afraid to show it and be more straight forward mean. people don’t really do this to her tho, its too much effort to get a reaction, and when they do, its never what they would have wanted, like crying, but instead is her smile falling and then finding a way to make them feel like shit. Renee is kind, but she also knows how to play on a similar level as them, not just with fists. i HC Renee as plus size, and fuck it is hard to be different in anyway as a kid. but childhood bullying was the least of her worries and these people dont see how deep her personal self assurance has grown and how she has learned to stand with her head held high and her face serine. her and dan are quite similar in this, but dan is much more active and direct while Renee is passive in her letting it glide over her, dan has even gotten annoyed on Renee’s behalf and then annoyed that Renee was not affected and why she didn’t fight more directly back. 
5) People who are overtly cruel and she struggles to sympathize with
okay so, you ever see someone so mean and rude for zero reason to someone else and you’re just like... what the fuck??? Renee doesn’t let others get to her really, but damn.... someone going after someone else in ways that are just so uncalled for and so harshly.... it gets to her. She once watched an episode of catfish where the catfisher laughed at the girl, uncaring that he crossed so many emotional lines and manipulated people without really any care. and she wanted to throw the remote and punch the tv right where the guys face was on the paused screen. nothing like someone just, kicking someone else while their down with no mercy, or making fun of someone behind their back and them not knowing, making fun of the deaf kids voice behind his back and he doesn’t see them doing it, and she’s like, man, Fuck. You. in her head. I don’t think she was like, always a nice person, in fact, i think Renee used to very much so not be the type to sit with the alone kid at lunch but instead ignore him and think “yea he’s weird, kinda ugly” without thinking much of it. But then she decided to change, and she took everything she thought it meant to be a good person, and became that. she started sitting with the alone kid, she started doing charities, she started to smile instead of punch, and she started going to church. and so when she sees cruelness she was once passive in the face of, maybe even active in, she uses kindness. Renee is she good at using taking the high road in such a graceful way it makes others feel bad. like when she tells Nicky calmly “thats not very nice” after he jokes about Seth dying in a car crash on his way from the airport book 1, and Nicky feels like shit. it feels like shit to get called out sometimes, and while its not her goal, she does know it is an effect of it. (i don’t think she’s mad at Nicky in that scene, but she did say something since she is there to protect hers and she redraws that line in that moment, especially without Allison or Seth there yet to say fuck you themselves.)
6) Injustice and systems of oppression
for these i feel she gets more frustrated, overwhelmed, and sometimes resigned. she knows how dark and shitty the world is, but she stays up at night with her hand on her heart as she breathes deep, thinking about how... utterly fucked everything is. its pretty easy for me to HC that Renee is politically far left and has seen the dark side to lack of resources and systemic issues that are just... so overwhelming she doesn’t even know what she does as just one person. world pollution, corruption, class divide, flint water crisis, the homeless crisis, the prison system, functioning segregation in school systems, just... it all. she’s had nights after volunteering where she thinks “i did something, i did.” and she has days where she realizes “...i’m doing nothing, in the end... its all for nothing, there’s just too much.” just a bad day where she sits there, thinking about how much is wrong and wont be fixed and how ‘doomed’ things are, how broken, and she doesn’t feel at a loss, but rather this deep anger that comes from who she was before. 
7) herself. 
Her being unable to live up to her own standards. she still thinks mean things, she has mean and cruel urges, and when she has them, she remembers that she’s still a bad person trying very hard to be a good one, and she thinks she’s still a bad person at her core. she’s not self loathing with it, but she does think to herself “i’m a hypocrite.” and sits with that thought for a minute. sparring with Andrew has helped her, to balance the two sides of her in a way that feels both self indulgent and honest to her path forward. but sometimes while sitting in that church pew, she thinks of her dead mother, her dead step father, those she turned in without batting an eye, stabbing in the back to save herself, and she thinks “i should feel something.” but she doesn’t, she wasn’t sorry then and she’s not sorry now. and she thinks, “the others call Andrew a monster, and they don’t realize that i’m one too.” and she tries to muster up something deep inside her, but she cant. and it can frustrate her, how after all these actions, all those hours of beach clean up and homeless shelters and building houses in some other country and going around clapping her hands to the songs, but she’s still the person she is deep down. and it gets to her. i think her having a conversation with Neil one day, on what it means to be a real person, is she pretending who she is? is she her thoughts or her actions? which is the real her? and Neil saying, it’s all of it. every facet of the self is still the self, he is Nathaniel and Neil and Abram and every other person he has been and will be. we change but we are also always ourselves, and her actions are just as true as her thoughts. 
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words-for-holland · 4 years
Text
Quarantine Series: Burnt Out
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: Y/N has to work from home during Quarantine, but when she gets extremely busy it’s up to Tom to find a way to help her relax .
A/N: This is my second attempt at this piece. Last time I created this it was super long but it got deleted 😩
Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden?|
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All Y/N ever wanted was an opportunity to work from home. Then again, who wouldn't want that opportunity? All she could think about was how nice it’d be to work in the comfort of her own home, not have to dress up in business professional clothing, and most importantly be surrounded by the people she cared for the most. But as the saying goes, “Be careful for what you wish for.”
When a global pandemic decided to take over 2020, Y/N certainly got her wish. Her company was forced to work from home until further notice, but what she didn’t expect was the amount of work she would be given. Y/N was pulled from project to project with deadlines thin as paper, and was expected to pick up the extra work of those that were no longer with the company. There was no time to catch a breath, and there certainly was no time to spend with her beloved boyfriend, Tom. This only made Y/N more depressed and made the Holland boys only more concerned.
“Mate, you got to get her to take a break. She’s gonna overdo it.” Harrison commented to his best friend, as they watched Y/N type away like a zombie from the kitchen.
“You think I don’t know that?!” Tom responded with a defeated sigh. “Every time I ask her, she always brushes it off and claims shes fine. Don't get me wrong, Im proud of her and admire her work ethic, but damn its sucking the life out of her.”
Both Harrison and Tom continued to observe Y/N with a cup of tea on hand, wondering how long it would take before she snapped. Tom hated seeing her like this. To him this wasn’t fair. It’s not fair that her 8 hour shift now became a 15 hr shift. Its not fair that she had to work 3 weekends straight, and it certainly wasn’t fair that her company took precious time away to be together. It was hard enough already that he couldn’t spend time with Y/N like a normal boyfriend would because of filming. Now, that he has the opportunity to make up for the lost time, it’s taken away.
“What if you surprised her?” Harrison quipped.
Tom looked up at his best friend with curious eyes. It took a few minutes to sink in, until the brightest idea figuratively smacked him in the face. “Yeah...yeah!” he responded, a smile forming “And I think I know exactly how to do it.”
As Tom was working through the thought process of his brilliant plan, his younger brother entered the kitchen, looking for his usual afternoon snack. “Hey, does anyone know where —. Oh no...” Harry groaned as he looked up at Tom and Harry. “Whatever it is that you two are planning...Leave me out of it.”
“Come on, mate. You dont even know what were planning.” Harrison defended
“Believe me, I know enough and any plan that involves you in it, is likely to fail 99.9% of the time.” Harry opened up his bag of crisps as he continued to list out the other 99 possible reason why they should have left Y/N alone like she wanted. “Cmon guys, you know how she gets. When she doesnt want to be bothered, she doesnt want to be bothered.”
“You’re right Harry, but she’s so stressed, she’s homesick, and one day she’s going to overdo it. Id be a shit boyfriend, if I let it happen.” Tom reasoned. “Look, Im not trying to do anything crazy here. I just want to give her that sense of comfort and see her relax.”
Harry looked at his brother and then at Harrison, both displaying their best puppy dog eyes, in hopes that he’ll join in. “The face doesnt work on me...but I’ll help for Y/N’s sake.”
Meanwhile, Y/N continued her work in the living room, her eyes firmly glued to the computer screen. After being dragged into the kitchen and the Holland plan, Tuwaine slowly made his way to Y/N. “Hey Y/N.” he happily greeted. “I think it’s time for you get some fresh air, don’t you think?”
Y/N looked up, her glasses slightly shifting forward down her nose. “You know theres this thing called being stuck in Quaratine right?” she responded, continuing to code her project.
“I think the real question is do you really want to work here when there’s just nothing but CONSTANT NOISE !” Tuwaine yelled out, hoping the others would catch on.
“What?!” Tom yelled back. It took him some time to realize what Tuwaine meant by his statement. “Oh...Right!” Quickly, Tom grabbed whatever pot or pan he could grab his hands on and dropped them on the counter. Harrison and Harry gave Tom the strangest look. “What? I gave him some noise?”, he shrugged.
“See?” Tuwaine smiled back at Y/N. “You wouldnt want to distract that working brain of yours with all this going on, right?” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as Tuwaine as she looked at him and the closed off kitchen. Did they think she was born yesterday? Of course she knew they were up to something. None of the boys were subtle enough to keep everything hush hush.
Y/N shook her head and decided to just go with it. The faster she complied, the faster they’d leave her alone, which only meant more time to finish her work. Tuwaine helped carry her laptop, mouse, and charger to the porch as he led her outside. “See, arent you glad your outside, breathing in fresh air with no distractions?”, Tuwaine spoke out.
Y/N took her time to admire the view. “Wow”, she whispered under her breath. Y/N couldnt remember the last time she set foot outdoors. Seeing the sunlight hit the flower beds, the gentle breeze rustle through the grass; it was beautiful. Of course, the moment was short lived with a simple ding, which only multiplied by the second.
Y/N dripped her head back, trying to rub out the frustration from her face. “Yes, well it was fun while it lasted. Duty calls.”
“Im sure they wouldnt mind if you just took five minutes for yourself at least.” Tuwaine commented, feeling bad about the amount of work he saw popping up on your screen.
“Yeah well that’s Corporate for you. Doesnt matter if you’re 500 km away or if a virus is hurting the population. If you’re not working, you’re useless.” Y/N shrugs. It wasn’t like her company was completely evil, this was just how business worked.
“I know Y/N, and we all see that you care deeply about your work but we’re all so worried about you too. We want you to be mentally okay as well. I know Tom is worried about you the most...He misses you, you know.”
Y/N’s heart dropped the second she heard him say it. She knew that all of this was gonna take some time away from Tom, but she hadn’t realized how much he would be missing her, even though they’re living under the same roof. “Yeah I miss him too, more than anyone will know. Believe me.” Y/N pondered for a moment as she stared at the work in front of her. Perhaps five minutes couldn’t hurt. “Maybe I will take that break after all.”
“Really?”, Tuwaine was surprised she had agreed so quickly, and at the same time he panicked. Tom and the others were not ready for Y/N’s surprise yet. “On second thought, Im wrong. You should keep going and try to finish up that project of yours or else you’ll never be done.”
“Excuse me?” Y/N asked as she tried to close her laptop. “You just spent a whole half hour trying to convince me to stop working, and now you want me to go back and work?”
“Yeah..I mean what do I know, right?” He laughed nervously. Tuwaine looked back at the door, for some sort of signal. Come on man it’s not like your preparing a break for the Queen of England.
“Listen Tuwaine, if I go back there and you boys break anything in that house...I swear— I’ll”
“Y/N!” Tom interjected as he stepped out to the porch. He wrapped his arms behind her waist, giving her a gently kiss on the top of her head. “How’s work, my pretty girl?” He looked back at Tuwaine and mouthed a thank you to him as he left the love birds alone.
Y/N turned around to face Tom, taking in his features and running her hands at the nape of his neck. “Busy, but what else is new? I’ve been missing you a whole lot”
“Me too, darling. Anyway, Im really hoping you can take a break from all this because I’ve got something special for you.”
“Oh no, babe. You know you didnt have to anything for me. Really Im fine..I-“
“I wanted to. In fact the boys wanted in on it too. So this is really from all of us, if you think about it.” Tom grabbed Y/N’s hand as he led her back in to house. “Come.”
As they both enetered the house hand in hand, Tom led Y/N into the kitchen, where the rest of the boys waited with diner burgers in hand and warm homemade chocolate chip cookies on the side of table. What seemed like a simple meal was a cure for any bad day..at least for Y/N it was. It represented a sense of home for her, while being far from Jersey. Even though she hadnt realized it, Tom and the boys knew she needed it. “Wow” Y/N breathed “I...I dont know what to say.”
“Dont say, just eat” Harrison laughed. “In all honesty this was Tom’s idea. We just wanted to make sure you had the support you need.”
“Yeah you deserve this, so please enjoy it.” Harry added. With that, everyone dug in and bonded over a family dinner, sharing laughs and stories. Tom leaned toward Y/N whispering in her ear, “I have a few more surprises after this.”
The next few surprises did not disappointment. He set up a nice warm bath for the two of them to relax and enjoy each others compny. A few subtle kisses, laughter, and silence was shared between the two. Y/N leaned back into Tom’s chest, feeling the water gently flow back and forth. Breathing in and out, she had forgotten how good this felt. Being close to Tom, was a different experience, one that no one could ever do justice. This was what she really needed.
After the bath, Tom led her into their shared bedroom. For a moment, Y/N stopped him as she pulled his head down to hers, giving him the kiss he rightfully deserved. Her lips crashed with his, his hands gently holding the sides of her tiny face. He picked her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist and situated themselves on the bed. Reluctantly, they both pulled away, catching their breath. Their foreheads touching and noses gently rubbing the others. “I love you. I love you more than you could possibly know.” Y/N whispered to him
“And I love you. I just want to give you the world because you deserve it all. My hardworking pretty girl.” Of course all good things must come to an end.
After a great well spent break was shared between Y/N and Tom, she was back on the work grind. Only this time she was working in their room as Tom was reading a script for his next upcoming project. The more Y/N coded, the sleepier she was getting. It onyl took a few minutes before she started leaning into Tom and her eyes started to flutter. Her breaths became slower and she was out like a light.
Tom turned to look at Y/N, smiling to see the sight of her finally at peace. He removed her glasses and set them by her table side. Tom made sure to clock her out of work abd checked to see if her work was saved. Just as he was about to turn off her laptop, another message popped up. “Great”, he muttered, rolling his eyes at the fact her team is still working at this hour. He couldnt help but read it though. Just how badly did they need her anyway?
We all know how hard you’re working and going above and beyond to get these projects out the door. For that, we thank you! On behalf of the company we’d like you all to take a day off on us!
Tom smiled, relieved that shell finally get some time for herself. Feeling triumphant, he shut off her laptop and set it aside. Crawling back into the bed and covering themselves under the blanket. His arms wrapped her waist once again. “Goodnight, my love. Im so proud of you.” he whispered.
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in-tua-deep · 4 years
Text
tua s1 rewatch with my roommate
episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):
I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!
Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit
“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”
“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus
“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”
I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound
Episode two:
HERR CARLSON
Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO
Five: you got anything stronger
Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????
The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it
Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg
Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.
Forgot how much I love Agnes
(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)
Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling
Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books
Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks
“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”
Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.
I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen
Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?
Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps
Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her
Aww the tow truck driver :(
I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else
Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF
Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD
Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”
Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization
Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~
ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo
Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”
Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep
OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(
Episode 3:
my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair
okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”
“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm
i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,
a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling
“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five
“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego
i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing
“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody
“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya
five having flashbacks in the car :(
did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”
five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego
“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat
luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(
“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not
sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted
“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something
“hashtag android rights” 
“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”
is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ???? 
wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up
“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit
forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets
okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh
“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus
where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????
“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”
“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther
“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at
what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego
aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song
“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them
how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh
why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY
forgot about that
is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances
diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES
you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh
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myuntoldstory · 3 years
Text
saeran after end after thought
it took me a ducking month and some change because i had to farm hourglasses. when i started playing i kept getting the bad ends and i got so frustrated i didn’t touch the app for two weeks. i had to consult a guide to finally reach the end.
i wanted to play this because i needed to see where jihyun ended up and... well... we all know what happened there. anyway...
i have many thoughts and feelings about this ae. i don’t know if i can ever properly organise them, but i’ll put it in bullet points for now. this is my personal feelings, not any kind of fact. i have nothing against nearly anything and anyone (character or real) involved in this game. i’ll always love and appreciate them for being in this game, for creating this game, for giving us something to love for the past four or five years.
these thoughts are rather unfiltered. this is me coming out hours after finishing the ae. i might change my mind after letting it marinate for a while and after reading up some more about it.
it’s all under the cut. it’s long and rambling. there’s no need to read this, really; the ae is a month old after all, but i just needed to get this out. also, it’s salty as hell. literally saltier than the dead sea. it will dehydrate you... best to not bother with this.
also spoilers.
1. during the first playthrough the game mechanics were wonderful, novel, and immersive. but years later and for the sake of an ae? unnecessary. it’s too long. it’s too much work. i did my due when i played the game during ray’s route. why do i also have to work for something that should have been my reward? why do i still have to worry about hearts, choices, and game branches? why do i have to go through multiple endings? it’s an after end. it’s after the ending.
of course i love new content, i love more content, but not like this. and i know i sound super entitled. if i was impatient i should have justt read the wiki, but i wanted the experience, but not this specific experience. lucky it’s the pandemic and i have more time on my hands, but in normal circumstances my life is very different from what it was in 2016. i can’t be waiting for chats and making plans around it to get to the after ending. honestly i expected something like the secret ends or even similar to the style of jihyun’s ae... but no. apparently, chertiz thinks it’s fun to make us spend three and a half days to reach an AFTER END.
2. saeran choi needs love... but, in my opinion, not ours. not mc’s. the love he needs is his brother’s. the person he needs most is saeyoung choi. he’s suffered so much, endured many things no person should ever endure. of course he deserves romantic love, but i feel like he needed to recover first. that’s why after all this im firmly in the very bare, maybe even empty camp of preferring secret end saeran choi over ray route saeran choi.
3. never in my life has a game made me exhausted about the act of forgiveness. i feel a little sick. it’s terrible to say that, i know, but i am just so emotionally exhausted. there is this heavy feeling in my chest that makes me want to cry because i feel like i somehow destroyed a part of myself?
first it’s the saviour in jihyun’s ae. it’s still her in this ae. but in addition to that there’s also the prime minister? when does it stop? at this point we might as well forgive the twins’ mother too. she imprisoned her own sons to benefit from their father; beat the shit out of and starved saeran to the point that he wanted to die, but there must be a reason behind it, right? like all the villains in this game her choices are not her own; they are the product of their circumstances and we have to understand that.
i just... i understand what cheritz is trying to convey here. and granted saeyoung is not as forgiving, but this isn’t his story. it felt like the forgiveness was nearing some extreme by the end of it. i don’t think there’s anything wrong if you’e unable to forgive. if the only way for you to move forward is to not do so i feel that’s valid. as long as you’re not hurting anyone and that you’re not hurting yourself, you do whatever you need to recover. forgiving is not the only way, the noble way. not everyone’s backstory you have to understand and take into consideration in order to move on. even if they realise what they did was wrong, it’s okay not to forgive. sometimes that’s what we need to take care of ourselves.
im rambling on this point, but im going through this currently. it’s not as extreme as the choi twins or the rfa, but all my life i’ve been forgiving and understanding and it chipped away at me. even at my expense i forgave everything and it landed me in a place im struggling to get out of. i needed justice and this ae didn’t give me a bit of that... at least not in the way i needed.
4. cheritz said this is the grand finale, but... it didn’t feel like it? again this is me being entitled, but i expected something more. something bigger. something poignant because after this mystic messenger is over. i expected some kind of epilogues in the form of story modes. of course i appreciate everything the company has done, especially the efforts of the writers, artists, voice actors, and everyone, but... it’s so rushed? it such a short farewell that instead of getting catharsis and satisfaction i felt... drained. and i feel sad that it’s all over because im not ready to say goodbye and that goodbye is far too short for me.
i don’t know im just sad it’s all over.
also, the conclusion they come to is the dissolution of the rfa once everyone found their happy ending. i... this is a group that has been through some shit and that doesn’t make them closer somehow? the rfa app lies neglected and abandoned as everyone moves on with their lives? that is so... lonely? at least for me.
i mean, of course, not all endings have to be necessarily happy in the “everyone gets together once a week for dinners” kind, but i just... i dont know i expected them to be closer somehow. maybe they are. maybe outside the app they’re all closer, but... i don’t know. i feel sad they’re abandoning the app.
5. and then there’s kim jihyun.
and im... i dont know anymore. if you know me, follow me, or have read any of my fics you know im a jihyun fan. i love that man and YES i know his sins. we all do.
as i played the ae i started to hope that he’d die in the end instead of suffering through this egregious character assassination. yes, i literally preferred that he died and that i go through that pain instead of suffering whatever this is. obviously i dont want him to die, but this is like killing him anyway. they killed the essence of him, who he is as a person. hell, they probably killed him already and just installed a stranger in the ae because that v is not our v. all throughout the game he’s been kind and compassionate and selfless. his whole thing is about protecting the rfa, the mc, saving the saviour, and sacrificing himself for them. this is the idiot who gives you his hearts when you’re being actively nice to his abuser and saeran in his route. his ultimate happy ending involves everyone being happy, reunited, and given the proper mental care. he went away for two years, putting a much needed pause in your budding relationship, not only to recover from his trauma, but also to rescue saeran and help him recover too.
yes, v enabled the saviour even before another story. he lied. he put everyone in danger. he’s reckless and he keeps secrets way more than what’s natural. but he will never let any of them come to harm. my memory is fuzzy but im sure he never lets the rfa get in danger. he was devastated when yoosung got injured. he also tried to rescue seven and mc in the secret ends thats why he got shot. this guy always looks out for everyone. 
in what world is he okay with drugging the twins? making deals with the villains? the idea of trapping the twins in the saviour’s delusional, twisted family life? he’s not the type to be okay just standing there when his best friend’s life is falling apart or for even causing it. when zen, jaehee, and yoosung get backed into the corner he wouldn’t have been just idle. but in this ae all he does is play stacking chairs, buy strawberry yoghurt, and echo the saviour’s words like a puppet. he asks only mc to save herself and like... jesus christ he never gets a break. he doesn’t even get the same gesture of forgiveness everyone and their father gets. he goes through a trial and jail, which is fair enough, but he’s also a victim of abuse and suffering and despair and mental illness. but somehow because it’s v it’s okay that this is all he gets. somehow he doesn’t deserve any compassionate resolution.
literally the only time he’s happy is his route and after end and even then that happiness is not his own. even then there were concessions to be made before he could get it.
seriously. it seems like cheritz hates him. they think little to nothing of him. if that’s the case why even make content for him? he’s not even meant to be romanceable in the original stories. they could’ve just ignored the petitions and left him as a side character. i mean, i dont know if i prefer that honestly, i do appreciate the content we got, but as his fan it hurts to see all this half-hearted decisions. and to see all this hate still pouring out for him, now magnified because of this ae.
this is like a tiring odyssey, starting way back when he got shot and killed all because he loved someone. he loved the wrong person and it’s the wrong kind of love and he committed his crimes because of it. he had a hand in making the rfa and mc suffer, but still all he did was love. and i know that sounds blind and naive and ignorant and im sorry for not picking up the nuances of his relationship with the saviour, but that’s all i saw. i saw a guy loving the wrong person and it made him make all the wrong choices leading to a bad life.
gah. i am drained people. i am drained, and frustrated, and tired.
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littlespaceporgs · 4 years
Text
The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 1
Or, Leah thinks Yoda is a badass and thirsts and coos over Plo Koon.
Welcome to part 1 of season 1! Ngl I’ve only got 2 episodes for the first one because i didn’t have time to watch a third, so here we go. These are just the thoughts and notes i took as i made my way through the episode, in their absolute rawness, I’ve barely even edited them so enjoy? and before anyone mentions it, yes I could do these on tiktok and you guys could watch me being an idiot, would anyone be interested in that however?
Tags (if anyone else would like to be tagged in this series, let me know!): @acciokenobi​ @roseofalderaan​ @catsnkooks​ @peacelandbread​ @littlevodika​ @icedcoffeeandgays​ @captainrexstan​ @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky​ @mcu-padawan​
Episode 1: Ambush
> Fuck yeeeeeaaahhh this intro is a fucking bop, I forgot how much I like it
> OH WAIT HANG ON YODAS IN THIS EPISODE, like it’s actually Yoda centric???? mad.. i thought it was going to be anakin and ahsoka this ep
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> FUCK I KNOW THAT VOICE *enter ventress*             - this woman could step on me and I’d say thank you ✨
> Oh shut tf up Dooku, nobody cares what you have to say
> “Sprung the trap, we have” no shit, is it just Yoda’s trademark to say exactly what’s going on?
> HAHAHAHAHHAAH “ITS MY PROGRAMMING”!!!!!
> I have some questions, who has the creativity to come up with characters and planets that look like this?? Like that’s so cool????
> Huh you actually think you’re gonna catch Yoda???? Interesting thought.
> HAHAHAHAHA SMALL SHRIVELLED GREEN ONE WITH A LIGHTSABER *accurate tho, and I live for Ventress’ sarcasm ngl
> I want to point out the peak humour of one droid saying stop, we’re not gonna fit, followed by a droid attempting to fit                  >> actually scratch that the droids are hilarious in general
> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HIS GIGGLE AND THEN DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT HE MEANT?!
> why is yoda likeable in this episode??? If you can’t tell already, I don’t like Yoda very much.
> “He IS a little one!”
> alright fine. i admit it, I don’t think I’ve given Yoda enough credit, I didn’t like him much, but 10 minutes episode and I’m lowkey giggling at him.
> Dude Yoda is so cool *(Notes: i have written in a column here: should rename the title of part i to “Yoda is a fucking boss”)
> The force is so cool ngl
> “Trouble? Know nothing of this trouble, I do” hahahahaha hahahahaha
> AW HUNNY NO YOURE NOT EXPENDABLE YOU NEED TO GO WITH THE SHRIVELLED GREEN LITTLE SHIT
> good job Yoda make em feel better for me thank you
> *droid battallion approaches and Yoda just fucking sits there* Have I mentioned that Yoda is literally so cool?
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> Bruh I shouldn’t be surprised that the 4 of them destroyed an entire battalion but that was legit AWESOME
> HA HA HA HA AH BITCH YODA GONNA KICK UR ASS
> Eh i don’t think I’ve said this enough, Yoda’s fucking cool.
> PFFFFFFFFFFTTTT fully just stole her lightsabers - imagine how much trouble Yoda would’ve saved himself if he had just kept the bastards instead of letting her take them back
> Alright fine, maybe I will enjoy this season.
 Episode 2: Rising Malevolence 
Notes: I am so sorry in advance, to be honest this entire one is just me either thirsting or cooing over Plo Koon and I can’t help it, and no, I still have not decided dad or daddy (its currently 14(?) hours after I watched the episode and I am still very undecided and I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to make that choice)
> HEY ITS LITTLE BABEY AHSOKA AND OMG HOLY SHIT HES IN THIS EPISODE????????????????
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> Lowkey I dunno if it’s dad or daddy?
> Awwwwwww Lil soka (wait I’m talking about Plo Koon in case you’re confused) (NOTES: uh I know I put it up top but just case you missed it)
> Sorry, did Anakin just say he was gonna ask the council?? The fuck?? 
              >>Be mindful????? Who the fuck is this????
> Ugh it’s palptatunes slimy looking ass
> OBI OBI OBI OBI OBI OBI OBI
> oh shit man that’s bad *if you haven’t clued in I’m going on about the weapon
> AWWWWWW HE WAITS FOR THE CLONES TO GET ON FIRST
> dude what the fuck is going on with his hair??
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> Everytime Plo talks my mind goes 🥰 sorry that’s off topic (or is it?)
> At least obi-wan sees sense, Anakin teaching an already reckless Ahsoka was never going to end up with them both being quiet
> AHSOKA! 😠
> Oh wait Wolffe doesn’t have his scar yet????? WAIT DOES THAT MEAN WE SEE HIM GET IT LATER?! Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh-
> HAHAHAHAHA HE ONLY TAKES A BATH ON BREAK
> HMMMMMM AWWWWW I VALUE YOUR LIFE MORE THAN FINDING THAT WEAPON
> There’s more alive, oh good I was afraid that they- aw shit poor Plo he sounds like he feels so guilty
> fucking hell I just wanna give him a hug and kiss his cheek and make it all better (NOTES: see what I mean???? Thirst or fluff?)
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> OOP THERE IT IS! I was wondering when the usual Anakin would show up
> “Redeployed himself.... again.” I can feel obi-wans exasperation with this kid man
> Okay so, Anakin is a little shit. So disobey the council but don’t tell them that I’m teaching you that
> Aw no there’s gonna be more clones die??????? Oh no and they have to watch oh no oh no oh no-
> I have questions: How are they screaming? I don’t think that’s how space works??? Ok but I legit don’t know?? Is it even possible to scream in space?? And shouldn’t it have killed them straight away?
> Aaawwwwww Ahsoka my baby (literally anytime this child comes on screen)
> “Anakin where are you” I love obi wan so much hahahahahahahahaha
> WAIT NO PLO AND FEW OF HIS SONS TROOPERS ARE ALIVE DONT LEAVE
> oh good job R2, crisis averted
> Pfffftttt the droid humming is distracting me from the more potential death
> Plo Koon is cooler than Yoda, you cant change my mind so don’t try.
> YEEEEETTTTTT poor sinker yikes I can’t imagine flying through space is fun
> PALPATINE YOU BASTARD HE PROBABLY WANTS MY LOVE DEAD HOW DARE HE
> “Twice the trouble they have become”?????? No shit Yoda. What were you thinking pairing these two disasters up?
> AND THEN HE TRIES TO GET THEM TO ABANDON DAD(DY?)
> R2’s whirring is a vibe tho
> AAAAAAHHHH NOT TO ME PLO MY HEART 🥺🥺
> oh god the animation is terrible (NOTES: I can’t believe it took me that long to make that comment)
> Aw he seems so sad, thank u Ahsoka, she gave him the love and hug he deserves
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> Ugh now my internet’s playing up dang it, well this is infuriating, I WANT TO KNOW IF THEY DESTROY THE WEAPON OR NOT?!
> He seems so genuinely scared??????? Plo has me getting major feels
> OH SHIT FUCK THE OTHER DROID SHIT FUCK NO SHIT
> how did everyone hate Ahsoka when this first came out??? I love her so much
> I mean like, I know they’re not gonna die??? But I still feel so anxious omg
> Holy shit the disappointment that rolls off of dooku is kinda hilarious (it took all of me not to start giggling at this)
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> “Riiiiiiiiiiiiight the council report”
Alright gonna stop here, because I have class in 20 minutes and there is no way that I am leaving the library if I start watching episode 3 so uh see y’all next time for episodes 3,4,5 and maybe 6??
53 notes · View notes
vegetalass · 4 years
Note
if you dont mind, maybe some cute fluff of RDR2 boys getting ready for a first date with their s/o? 🥰
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG but yes, anything for u!! I hope u enjoy!!
long post ahead!
Arthur 
The fact that Arthur even agreed to a date in the first place is a little weird
He thinks that just asking if you want to be a couple is enough
The moment you start dating he turns into an old man who thinks you’ve been married for years 
It’s like... Arthur… Buddy… It’s been like two weeks, bruv
That’s why you have to be the one to ask him to go on a date, because then there’s no way he’d be able to say no 
He’s not against them, but in his mind, it’s just that in his mind, dates are things that people like him Do Not do
Mostly because he’s tried them in the past and either ended up disappointing someone or being disappointed 
Besides, you already know that you have fun with each other so it’s not like you need to do anything special 
WRONG!!!
Charles probably asks him if he’s nervous and he’s laughs because of course he’s not
But the moment he wakes up on the day of the date… Oh Lord… 
He was totally chill and relaxed about it up until this point, and it’s literally only then that he starts to panic
Mostly just because he begins to second doubt himself 
And not just himself but everything
Maybe you won’t like the shirt he picked out... Or maybe you won’t like his face shaved... Or maybe you don’t want to be seen in public with him... 
The list is endless 
Eventually, he gets so worked up that he has to call Charles, who reminds him that it’s been fine up until that point, and it’s not like you would ask him to go on a date or even admit to liking him back if you DIDN’T want to go out with him… So, what’s his problem? 
He then has to spend like 3 hours in the bathroom trying to make himself look presentable 
Most of this time is spent deciding whether or not he needs to shave
(Yes, he does)
And if he should wear the blue or red shirt 
Or… Maybe the white one
He spends a long time picking out flowers because he thinks most of them are either too gaudy or not gaudy enough 
He didn’t have the forethought to order them in advance, though 
He’s still a little nervous when he does finally pick you up, but seeing how happy you are to just to be out with him soothes his worries one hundred times over
And if you kiss him on the way home, he considers that your first REAL kiss 
Nothing else even compared
How well does he shower before getting ready? - He doesn’t want to disappoint you in any way, so he scrubs himself real good. 10/10 
John 
Very similar to Arthur in how he feels about dates 
He thinks they’re fine and great… But doesn’t really see why he should participate in them 
Especially since every time he tried to go on ones with Abigail, something would go wrong
And after Jack, she honestly probably just didn’t want to go on them anymore
Which was 100% fine with him because they’re both pretty busy people
That being said, with you it’s a little different 
He still doesn’t really care much about the actual date part, but he also doesn’t want you to slip through his fingers the way Abigail did 
He wants you to know that you’re loved and valued in the beginning of the relationship before it’s too late to tell you 
That’s why it’s his idea to suggest the date 
He probably says something like, “Hey…… Uh…… Now that we’re….. You know….. *cough*…….. Would you want to……… Possibly………. Maybe………”
Cue you sitting there like ?????? 
If you tell him that he doesn’t need to go to the effort of taking you out, he’s like “Uh, Yes I Do! >:(“
Even if you never expected him to in the first place 
Basically because you assumed being with him would be pretty lowkey
But that doesn’t mean he’s not going to try and put the work in 
Honestly, probably doesn’t know if he should be nervous or not
Realistically, he thinks that he should be, but for some reason, can’t muster up the nerves and is overall pretty chill about it 
But that doesn’t mean getting ready for the date itself is any less of an Experience (TM) 
Probably spends the whole day thinking “Date tonight… You have a date tonight…. First date IS TODAY…. Don’t forget to get ready….. THERE’S A DATE” that he does end up getting ready late 
Suddenly it’s 4PM and he’s like *squidward opening eyes meme*
He does manage to get ready in time, though
Despite arriving with his shirt half buttoned and the flowers slightly wilted
It makes you laugh to see him trying so hard to be a good boyfriend
Just because I love John with his haircut… Yes, he gets a haircut before the date
He did this before the day of, though
And lowkey you probably don’t recognize him at first
This time, John is the one who’s like ?????? 
How well does he shower before getting ready? - A solid shower. Nothing to really complain about. 7/10 
Charles 
You’ve probably been dating for two days and he’s already The Best Boyfriend in the Entire World
He’s always trying to make any time you spend together special so dates just… aren’t at the top of his list
Charles is like… “A date??? Every day is a date with you…”
Literally I have to go cry about this now because he’s too sweet
Regardless, he does want to take you out, so of course the first time is going to be important!
He’s not so much nervous about going on the date as he is about you enjoying yourself on it, so the preparation itself is pretty important 
The night before, he runs through everything in his head to make sure all his plans seem solid
And when he wakes up, starts getting ready immediately just to make sure everything goes smoothly 
Eats a healthy breakfast, sends you a text, picks up flowers, etc.
It’s not a busy day, but he likes not having to rush
Doesn’t have a problem choosing an outfit because he doesn’t think it’s that important 
He’s not going to show up in pajamas, but he’s not going to go overboard thinking about what he should wear 
His only criteria for it is that it’s appropriate for the situation and he it suits him
(This is also good because it means that you don’t have to try very hard for him to think you look good in whatever you end up wearing, too)
When he’s finally ready to pick you up, he hypes himself up in the mirror just to get rid of any last minute jitters that he may be feeling
For the most part, he’s really calm and hides his nerves pretty well, but that doesn’t mean you don’t give him butterflies 
And he just wants your first date to be memorable
The flowers he brings you are specially ordered from the local florist 
And he writes a cute note to go with them
How well does he shower before getting ready? - He takes a good, respectable shower. 8/10
Micah 
Honestly, the likelihood of Micah ever having been on a date before is very small
He knows that they’re a thing that couples do but probably thinks everyone’s descriptions of them are exaggerated or silly
Why would he need to take you on a date if you already know that he likes you since he asked you out in the first place…?
Isn’t being nice to you enough? 
That’s why you have to be the one to suggest going on a date, and even then, he probably scoffs or laughs at the idea
But that doesn’t mean the suggestion doesn’t haunt him 
Goes to bed every night and is like… “Maybe… we should be going on dates?” 
UH, YEA?
Eventually it gets to the point where he feels… G-g-guilty almost
Probably mentioned the fact that you brought up going on a date to Dutch and he was like, “You mean you haven’t had one yet?” 
Oops. 
So then he immediately sets one up 
And feels bad that he didn’t do it sooner when he sees how happy you are when he asks
Ironically, he ends up getting super excited for the date, too 
Mostly because he’s realizes that he’s just happy someone agreed to go out with him in the first place and actually wants to do things with him 
It’s a pretty unusual feeling for him, but definitely not bad 
This doesn’t mean that he will wear anything special or buy you flowers, though
He’s not getting that sappy
How well does he shower before getting ready? - He doesn’t. 0/10
He’s not dirty or anything though, he just doesn’t think he needs to take one 
Dutch 
Honestly, the only reason you’re dating is probably because he asked you out on a date
It was a calculated move on his part because he knew you already liked him, but still… 
He’s someone who takes things like dates very seriously
Even if they are a rare occasion due to how busy he is
He’s like a little kid with how excited he gets just thinking about it
And he definitely spares no expenses when planning it
Even if you told him that he didn’t need to do anything special, he wouldn’t listen 
Hosea gets tired of him talking about it and asking if his plans seem alright
He’s like, “Dutch, I’ve told you no on the limo five times already” 
And still Dutch is like “Mmmmmm, are you sure, though?” 
Extravagances aside, he is really just trying to make you happy and declare his love for you 
Especially since he doesn’t know how often he’ll be able to in the future
And since he wants you to have at least a few fond memories of him in case something happens to him 
But that’s just in case, right? 
On the day of the date, from the moment he wakes up, he’s thinking about it
Keeps checking his watch to make sure he has enough time to get ready 
And is surprised when only 20 minutes have gone by since the last time he checked
Spends an hour just trying to make sure his hair looks right 
And probably cycles through four different shirts a bunch of times just because he can’t decide 
Sends a text to Hosea with 4 different selfies asking which is best 
Gets left on read
Translation: All of them look fine
Though he did end up deciding against the limo, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t show up ready to show you off 
Buys you the biggest bouquet he can find
You end up having to hold it in both arms
How well does he shower before getting ready? - He showers but is so excited that it’s not as thorough as it could’ve been. 6/10
Kieran 
The date itself is kind of a mutual idea
The relationship probably isn’t even official yet despite the fact that you’re already 100% exclusive 
A silent agreement, of sorts
You probably end up giving him some sort of hint that you “wouldn’t mind doing something with him, sometime...” and he takes it from there 
Dates are something that he thought he’d never have to worry about 
Mostly because he associates them with people who are a lot different from him
But also because he thought that he’d never really have the chance to meet someone he’d want to start a serious relationship with 
Hence why he’s so new to the whole situation, but still determined to change this
He wants to go one dates like the ones he’s always heard about
He’s both excited and worried because…
1. This means that you do, in fact like him back, but…
2. He could also fuck everything up 
Doesn’t sleep at all the night before
Spends the entire night running through every scenario of what could happen 
Also thinking about how you met and how lucky he is to be with you 
He had to plan his outfit in advance because he needed a lot of time to figure out how to balance casual wear with something date worthy
But, with the outfit out of the way, he manages to get ready pretty quickly and ends up just sitting around waiting to leave 
Spends the extra time praying that he didn’t choose the wrong thing to wear
He’s so cute… Twiddling his thumbs and everything
Sends you a cute “On my way!” text with one of those cute dancing stickers 
His flower choice is a single rose tied up with a ribbon 
And he nearly faints when you kiss his cheek in thanks
How well does he shower before getting ready? - He tries really hard to take a good one. 8/10
Javier
Dates are very important to him
To him, they signify dedication and compassion 
And overall, just that he’s willing and wants to put in the work to show you that he cares
That’s why he asks you out on a real date the moment you become official 
He’s super excited because it’s not everyday that you get to go on a FIRST date with someone 
Which is why he’s also a meticulous planner
It’s not just about making you happy, but impressing you and proving (mostly to himself) that he’s a good lover 
Even if he knows that you wouldn’t mind something more lowkey 
It’s just that whatever you do has to be special 
He’s nervous, not because he’s afraid, but because he wants things to go as well as they possibly could
Out of everyone, spends the most time thinking about what he’s going to wear
Tries to plan ahead of time but still hasn’t made any final decisions on the day of the date, either 
Has to try things on to be certain if he likes them or not 
And when he’s finally decided, he still needs to shave and to fix his hair
It’s a long day to say the least 
And when he finally picks you up, brings you an entire bouquet of roses
When you have to bury your face in them to hide your blush, his heart swells with pride
And yes, he thinks that you’re the best dressed couple anyone’s probably ever seen 
How well does he shower before getting ready? - His showers are always of the finest quality. 10/10
Sean
The moment he thinks you’ve started liking him back, he starts thinking about what your first real date should be like
And the moment you start dating for real, he has to make his thoughts (*cough* dreams*) a reality
Dates are definitely something he has some experience with 
Even if he hasn’t been on a crazy amount of them… He definitely thinks about them a lot 
Deep down, under all his womanizing tendencies, he’s probably a hopeless romantic
And dates are the perfect way to show someone that you care about them
Honestly probably doesn’t give two craps about what he wears or how he looks
The only reason he even bothers to look presentable is because he doesn’t want to ruin anything by showing up in something ridiculous 
But he definitely doesn’t spend any extra time choosing an outfit than he has to
This is good though because it means he also doesn’t care about what you showed up looking like, either
To him, all that matters is that your first date is enjoyable 
And you both end up looking fine, anyway
(Well, you look a little better than him, but in his eyes, that’s always the case)
He’s so excited that he calls you to tell you that he’s on the way
The way that you laugh when you pick up has him speeding to your house
Gives you the biggest, more beautiful flowers that he can find
They’re not at large as Dutch’s, but a lot more vibrant
How well does he shower before getting ready? - It’s his usual, totally average and normal shower, if not a little quicker. 5/10
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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years
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Hey bro, I hope you're doing well🥺💖 if your hcs are open, could you do hcs with bucci gang and a s/o getting catcalled/street harassed (only if this is not a trigger for you obviously)? I am upset 🙂🙂🙂...ANYWAy I love you sOoo much Morgane
This is extremely late my apologies but dw I don’t mind writing for sensitive topics such as this one!!! Behavior like this absolutely enrages me and you have all the rights to be upset because it’s fuckin vile. It goes without saying but tw harassment yadda yadda.
Bruno:
- He’s usually freakishly good at masking his true feelings and overall keeping his calm under pressure, but if he were to actually witness you getting catcalled he’s going to go lowkey sicko mode. His motherly/protective instincts kick in and he’s instantly death glaring the person who dared wrong you like that right on his weary watch. Honestly he’d feel like throwing a fit even if it didn’t happen before his very eyes. No, he’d be EVEN more enraged if you’d just come home one day and tell him that since he wasn’t there to intervene.
- At this point he doesn’t even have to do much, all that it takes is for Bruno to shoot said person a quick murderous glare then tell them to beat it and they’ll instantly fuck off not even 2 seconds later. After they are out of scene, he flips back to his usual calm and polite self (the d u a l i t y of man) as he proceeds to check up on you by asking if that asshole’s words managed to get to you. Hell, this man is going to be comforting you for hours and wouldn’t let go of you unless you were absolutely certain you were feeling at least just a little better.
- No matter your response, Bruno is going to pull you into his arms and firmly let you know that he’ll never let anyone hurt you. As long as he lives and he’s by your side he’s going to fight whoever dares to bother you, you have his absolute word for it. Normally he’d at first try solving the issue through diplomatic means but there’s just something about catcalling that utterly enrages him and makes him lose control for a few seconds, let alone if it’s his partner we’re talking about. Tl;dr: dont fucking make the mistake of wronging his s/o, he’ll fucking end you.
Giorno:
- Just like Bruno, but 3 times more menacing if that’s even possible. If Bruno managed to hold himself back just a bit and didn’t let his anger COMPLETELY consume him in that moment, our dear aries right here is quite the opposite. Sure it’s not like he’s going to throw said person into a death loop of despair (although that’s the first thing that would cross his mind), but in that second Gio wouldn’t really be able to mask his emotions like he usually does.
- If it happened before his eyes, that person is as good as dead. He merely steps in between you two, hooks an arm around your waist and “kindly” asks said person to repeat themselves since he’s not sure whether he heard them correctly or not the first time. At this point the person in question would already be getting lowkey uneasy since Gio’s aura and overall presence would be goddamn menacing, and so they’d be beating it in due time after he throws them a cold glare and tells them to never speak to you in this way ever again.
- Akin to Bruno, he’d revert back to his usual calm self right after that asshole leaves then ever so gently he’d check up on you and tell you that you should ignore their dirty, meaningless words and that he’ll be there to protect you always. That day Gio would try his best at keeping you preoccupied and cheering you up since he wouldn’t want you to think of this experience again. He’d put on an unbothered mask for you but deep down he’d still be fuming at the thought of another person just...insulting someone like that. Not only a random someone, but HIS beloved.
Abbacchio:
- Straight up shoves his fist in front of their face, I ain’t even joking. The second he hears them whistling and saying some dumb dirty shit he’s instantly walking over to them whilst seeing fucking red and asking if they have a problem with HIS partner. As said person would desperately try explaining themselves, Abbacchio would merely scowl then threaten to beat the fuck out of them if they don’t fuck outta here in the next 3 seconds.
- He’d be highkey scary threatening that person like that but would then try calming himself down in order to be able to actually think rationally again and check up on you. By the time he’d walk over you and grab your shoulders whilst asking if you’re alright, poor Abba would still be breathing heavily, his cheeks tinted red from the previous intense anger episode. He’d immediately escort you away from the place where the harassment happened as he’d keep reassuring you that you’re safe now with him here.
- That day Abba would keep replaying that episode inside his head over and over because he simply cannot understand how someone could just speak to a stranger in such a horrible way, and the thought of you getting insulted like that is enough to send him into a fit of anger, let alone if you were actually touched by said person. He’s absolutely ready to square up for you 25/8 and, although he’s not the best with words, he’s going to make sure that you’re feeling better and would keep cuddling and comforting you for as long as you need in an attempt to make you forget about the incident.
Mista:
- Makes a damn scene and rightfully so. He’s already a very touchy guy even in public, so the fact that the person in question clearly saw the both of you together and STILL decided to hit on you absolutely enrages him. Hell, even if you were alone what do they think gives them the right to talk to someone else like that??? Mista cannot wrap his head around it and at this point he doesn’t even try to anymore, he’s full on f u m i n g. He already took on some fuckers that were harassing a poor woman in the past and will gladly do it again for his partner.
- Whether he was there when it happened or not, you bet your ass that Mista is going to go on a rant and insult that person’s entire bloodline, mostly using italian curse words of course. He’d hate himself for not being there to properly protect you if it happened when you were alone, but if we’re talking about him actually WITNESSING that scene then it’s game fucking o v e r. Mista would just go like “O I” then waltz towards that rude ass with his fist clenched and brows tightly knitted together in sheer anger. He’d be screaming his ass off at that person telling them to never get near you again, calling them out on their bs right in front of everyone else on the damn street.
- He wouldn’t be afraid to legit fight them whilst everyone was watching either so you’d most likely have to drag his ass away from there or else he’d end up fucking killing them or something. Mista would need some time to come down from his rage episode but when he does he’s going to be apologizing over and over for his outburst, quite literally crushing you into his arms afterwards and trying not to fucking cry whilst telling you how much he loves you and how he’s going to beat up anyone else that tries wronging you like that again. Expect him to be EVEN more clingy than usual for the next few hours as well since he can get v e r y protective over you.
Fugo:
- As expected, probably the one that erupts the worst. If you thought Mista and Abbacchio threw a scene honey you ain’t seen s h i t. The second he hears that person call out to you in an insulting way he’s violently whipping his head around towards them, his jaw clenched and hands trembling with anger. In that second said person knows they F U C K E D U P because Fugo starts screaming his ass off and calling them all sorts of colorful insults.
- Just like in Mista’s case you’d have to hold him down or else he can and WILL kill them. Fugo has absolutely 0 patience and regard for people that do this also because of personal reasons, so it would almost be ptsd inducing for the poor man. Not only would he be utterly enraged with such behavior directed at a total stranger (who also happened to be his beloved mind you), but it would also remind him of some past experiences he wished he could forget. 
- Afterwards Fugo will be unusually clingy and significantly more open with his feelings, telling you over and over how he’ll stop at nothing to protect you and constantly expressing his love for you through gentle touches and soft words. He’s normally extremely shy when it comes to showing affection, but after this he’d feel an overwhelming need to be there for you and comfort you through your distress, swearing that he’ll protect you no matter what and that you shouldn’t care for such heinous comments coming from an uneducated rude ass.
Narancia:
- At first is flabbergasted and tries to process what that person just said. Did he hear that right?? Are they really serious?? Did they really just dare to mess with Y O U???? That’s it, Narancia is angrily stomping towards the scene, throwing an arm around your shoulders whilst straight up bullying your harasser for their disgusting behavior. Now if said person tries mocking him that would be their last mistake because Narancia can and WILL throw goddamn fists regardless of who’s watching.
- He’ll tell off anyone that bothered you then smother you in hugs and spoil you with anything you wanted in an attempt to cheer you up. He’s also a surprisingly good listener so you can pretty much pour your heart out at him for he will sit through it all then proceed to comfort and hug you plenty. He may be smol but Narancia has no fear of fighting for his close ones, so he’ll let you know that whenever someone else starts bs you should immediately call him.
- He doesn’t like dwelling in the negative feelings and will instruct you on doing the same. Basically, he’ll try getting your mind off of things to the best of his abilities and is going to constantly be encouraging and reassuring you. Narancia is pretty much a walking serotonin machine who will be your emotional support human as well as your “bodyguard” because he really likes to pride himself in protecting and keeping you safe.
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