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ohwhataniight · 1 month

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The Good that won't Come Out - a trans!Sherlock fic - Part 1

So I started this WIP and have absolutely no patience about sharing it after it is completed. Please forgive my English, it is not my first language. For @gaylilsherlock who suggested the wound dressing trope. To be continued.

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"Girls, behave. Please."

I didn't think much of the way I'd just referred to a sulking Sherlock and an exasperated Lestrade, both of whom were leaning dangerously over the table in the Scotland Yard office, looking ready to punch each other in the face any minute now. Sherlock was being his usual self, showing off deductions that were only possible for me to follow, given that I live with him and, throughout the past couple of years, have become able to decode his tumultuous trains of thought. I assumed that the patience of my friend and colleague had run out and that he needed some quiet time in order to think this baffling case through, given that he raised the lapels of his coat and announced that he was heading home.

Anyway, I have a date tonight, so I don't really mind letting the case of the poisoned fashion designer go. I am more than fine with the turn of events, actually. I shoot Greg an apologetic look when Sherlock isn't looking and start buttoning my own jacket. I turn to Sherlock. “I won't be back till late. Go home, get some Thai, don't do anything reckless without me.”

He doesn't grace me with an answer to that, of course. “Give Vicky my warmest regards,” he says sarcastically instead, without really meeting my gaze. I decide to ignore his moods – I know better than provoking him when he's way too deep in a case he can't solve yet. I watch him turn around and leave the room with the tail of his impossibly long coat swishing dramatically behind him. I sigh, and follow suit to head to my date, for which I am already late.

It would have been fine if it only happened once, but apparently this is how John speaks, and for some reason it took my by surprise. Again. I should have seen this coming - this is how he really sees me, isn’t it? At least subconsciously - even subconsciously is bad enough. Why doesn’t he ever observe? I blame myself for letting my guard down. Of course, Captain John Watson, the epitome of traditional British masculinity and unchecked heterosexism would resort to such terms of endearment. And now here I am, recalling the words of my dearest brother: “You have let yourself be conquered by sentiment once again, Sherlock. You are entrusting a well-intentioned but vastly ignorant man with secrets you have been hiding ever so industriously throughout your life. I am observing you in sheer terror as you succumb to your miscalculations. How are you planning to proceed after John Watson discovers that you have so... diligently concealed the truth from him, after he reacts?”

Concealed. Truth. I snort. John knows the truth. He knows what he needs to know, he knows as much as he can stomach.

“He’ll have to know, at some point, being your doctor and all.”

“Oh shut up,” I hiss at mind palace-Mycroft, brushing away his rigid figure from my head with a wave of my hand. “John cannot know. He will never see me the same way again if he finds out.”

The night is chilly, my breath materializes before me in the form of smoke: dense, and woefully lacking of tar. I walk into the first corner shop and buy a pack, only to notice that my hands are shaking as I try to light the first cigarette, standing on the side of the pavement, shifting my weight from one foot to another. Pathetic. Look at you. Mycroft is right.

No. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep guessing, and hiding, and pretending it’s all fine.

He accepts and admires the man he thinks you are. Just one misstep and you blow up an entire life you’ve built for yourself, a life you’ve fought so hard for. John learns, and everything goes

fucking

boom.

I have been letting someone in so dangerously close to the core of my being, and yet I still have to live life hanging from the threads of how he sees me, how he reads me, like a pitifully open book yet still stumbling between the lines, faltering when I become too visible, immuring me behind performances and words.

John Watson is failing you.

And how could he not?

(freak)

I shake my head, exasperated. I take in a deep drag of smoke and watch it crystallize in slow motion. The lights of the city that normally surround me with clarity now become blurry and melt around me, pool on my feet like fireflies in a swamp. Smoking doesn’t help. Nothing is helping. My ribs are constricting around what feels like a hole in my chest, pulling me down with the familiar weight that used to press around me like Symplegades before.

What if John Watson had met me before? Maybe then he could have returned my feelings. Maybe he could have loved me if I weren’t who I am.

After all, John Watson is not, will never be gay. And I will never be what he likes.

These thoughts make breathing a strenuous activity. I wish I could ever only inhale nicotine. Not oxygen, especially when it becomes so sparse, not his hot, sweet breath that confiscates mine every time he turns his head as he’s leaning over me to stare at the computer screen, not the odd whiff of salty sweat, not his light musk of earth that is damp that is sturdy -

And then, suddenly, bliss: a distraction. A man in a suede jacket who is up to no good, judging from the long fingernail on his left pinky and the obviously borrowed briefcase that contains information of life and death on his ex wife. I don’t need to intervene, I’m not Clark freaking Kent (see, John? I have some mundane references) but I need something to keep my mind and body occupied other than these dreaded musings on truth and identity and John Watson’s scent, ever present in my nostrils. So I follow him. And he notices. And he quickens his step. And I chase him. In an alley. Good, this is good. Keep that adrenaline pumping. He climbs over some railings. I follow suit. My heart is racing with the rapture of something remotely interesting, finally. My physical deftness has never betrayed me before, until it does. I feel the sharp stab of metal on my ribcage as the railing scratches my side, ripping my shirt underneath my coat, and I feel the warmth of blood spiling from a long scratch on my skin that climbs up to my chest like a vine of poison ivy.

(well, this is unfortunate)

#sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #bbc sherlock #johnlock fanfiction #fanfiction #johnlock fic #sherlock #sickfic #Sherlock whump #trans Sherlock #translock #trans!sherlock #trans man Sherlock Holmes #coming out fic #queer #trans #tw: misgendering #(sort of)

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rain-shoshana · 6 months

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Have I mentioned this fic I’m working on where Holmes surprises Watson in girl clothes? It’s pretty good if I do say so myself.

#sherlock holmes #granada holmes #sherlock holmes/john watson #fanfic #fanfiction #trans Holmes #trans man Sherlock holmes #Watson sees Holmes as a man so thoroughly that even in girl clothes he’s like oh that’s a man in a dress #I have bigger feelings about Sherlock Holmes than I do about poirot even #so #that’s something

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zaphodbeeblebroxssecondhead · 6 months

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i need someone to love me the way doctor john watson loves mr sherlock holmes

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astriiformes · 3 months

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Been having a resurgence of Owl House feelings that's making me want to pick up some of the WIPs stowed in my drafts, so you all need to be nice and reassure me that I don't need to entirely re-write an already half-finished oneshot I started between S3E1 and S3E2 to somehow be canon-compliant

#thinking about that one. also picking up the trans caleb fic again. also also the sherlock holmes au #and on a similar note. also the fic i was working on between s2 and s3 that is deeply non-canon now but was going to be GOOD okay #anyways. we'll see if anything actually comes of this but man. my brain sure can owls again

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lavenderleavened · 3 months

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Hakuba has got that T boy swag

#hakuba #hakuba saguru #saguru hakuba #trans #trans masc #headcanon #detective conan #magic kaito 1412 #DCMK #t boy swag #also just a lil 'tistic #no cis neurotypical man goes to a heist dressed as Sherlock holmes

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not-behind-glass · 2 years

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Hey all! I'm working on a story where Sherlock is a trans man. There is action, love and most of all an end game that will be as satisfying as we need it to be.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40006335/chapters/100185876

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mychem1calbr0mance · 2 years

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TRANS SHERLOCK BECAUSE FUCK YEAH.

you can read it on ao3 here, or you can read it here on tumblr!

Fire-Hazard Secret

Can be read as gen, pre-slash, or slash, whatever floats your boat honestly

2k+ word count

Rated Teen and up for depictions of unsafe binding and gender dysphoria (very self indulgent lmfao)

Yes, he was trans. He was certain he always had been. The term “female” never really felt right, nor did his mother calling him “my little girl.” The term "girl" felt like a sweater- a giant, itchy, sweater, that he just wanted to rip off, toss in a bin, and never wear again. He'd grown up, dreaming of being recognized for who he was, asking that people refer to him as "Sherlock" instead of the awful name he had been assigned at birth. Dreaming of being socially recognized as a boy, a man. Being referred to as "mister" or "sir". The small things like that.

He told his dear mother and father about this, who simply waved it off with a smile and said "It's merely a phase, my dear [???]. It'll pass." His parents meant well, he was quite aware of that, but those words stuck with him, long throughout his childhood. Maybe- maybe it all was just a phase.

The only one who had ever accepted him for who he was, was Victor. Oh, his dear Victor. Victor had been the first he trusted with this information, treating it like a fatal secret that would one day spark into a flame and burn down his world. You could call Victor the water in this metaphor, he'd put out the flames. Keep him safe.

At least, that was the plan.

Victor, one day, just.. stopped showing up. Disappeared.

"Kidnapped," the police said. "Victor has been kidnapped."

Weeks turned into months as each day dragged by heavily, most days consisted of something related to Victor's sudden disappearance, whether it would be he would taken in to be questioned (there it was again- that word. The officers would refer to him as "Miss Holmes". Blegh. Made his skin crawl uncontrollably. "It's Mister Holmes." He wanted to say.), or there would be a detective out in his yard, searching for any possible clues or connections as to what happened to the young boy. His best friend. Victor. Oh God.

Hope rant out quickly. His dearest friend had vanished without a trace- and his sister kept singing the same, dumb song.

It changed him. Showed him the cruelties of the world. If Victor could be taken, who else could be taken? His brother? His sister? His beloved mother and father?

So, he shut himself away. Cut his hair. Changed his name. Changed the way he dressed. Changed himself. Changed in order to survive. He was a child, after all, and the brain adapts to change in its own ways. So, this was his brain's way of surviving, then. Hmm. Not all bad. It had its advantages. He was himself now, for better or worse.

His parents recognized how serious he was about it, correcting them whenever they would call him by his dreaded deadname. Mycroft caught on, surprisingly quick. Didn't even think about it twice, often correcting his parents whenever they used the wrong name or called him a "she" instead of "he". It made him feel warm, welcomed, and safe. Similar to how Victor Redbeard had made him feel.

Over time, he managed to force his awful deadname out of his mind palace, out of his memory. He was Sherlock Holmes. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing else. He considered throwing out his knowledge of being assigned female at birth, but he preferred to keep that knowledge. Made him feel something, a certain... certain itch in his brain. Motivated him, somehow. There weren't words for it...

There were few in the world that knew he was trans besides his siblings brother and parents. Mrs. Hudson knew, and so did Lestrade. He trusted them both enough with his fire-hazard secret, trusted that they would keep it for him, and support him. Even put out the flames if ever necessary.

The testosterone was bearable. Had it in the form of patches, and if anyone questioned, he'd say it was a nicotine patch. He preferred them to injections. Injections only reminded him of his uni days. The unbearable blur of drugs and sweat.. made him shiver just at the pure thought of it. Brought back too many memories. Threatened relapse. That's why he did this whole crime solving thing, anyway. To keep his mind clear. A natural high. Not one that needed to be forced. Those had the worst hangovers. Made it hard for his brain to work.

Work rarely paid the bills- Mrs. Hudson was kind enough to give him a surprising discount, it was the least he could do- and he couldn't stand the idea of working a regular job. Stuck in some stupid chair at some stupid desk working for a stupid, greedy corporation for the rest of his stupid days. A flatmate was the next best thing. He didn't fancy the idea of sharing his space with a stranger, but if it gave him a place to sleep at night, he could work with it. Tolerate it, even.

John Watson, was his name. Seemed alright. Doctor. Military. Hard around the edges. Subtle anger issues- branching from his father. Ooh, his father. Best not go down that road yet.

He would do.

John was an interesting man. Heart of pure gold, with a few layers of dust. He was a good man, Sherlock could tell. He had seen some things, enough for a lifetime- yet he still craved more. Sherlock somehow understood it all, the "crazed adrenaline junkie" he was, as Donovan had so colorfully put it. Danger was hardwired into him. Always had been. Perhaps the two would get along someday.

The sudden praise he had gotten was a benefit- nobody admired his genius, or even said a word, occasionally Lestrade would clap him on the back, and tell him a job well done, but that was the closest he had ever got. Finally, someone who recognized his talents, and acted on it verbally.

He could get used to it.

John added a new.. texture to the case. Things felt alive, fresh, different. The typical routine of showing up at the crime scene was even changed. The simplest of investigations turned into thrilling adventures.

Maybe having a companion wasn't the worst thing.

His medical intelligence came in handy a great deal. Most of the cases he dealt with were more on the violent side of things -lots of murders and assaults- and it was nice to have someone there who understood things as well as he did- well, on some levels.

John didn't know his secret. No, not yet. Best to keep that under wraps for now. Never know how it'll turn out. John seemed friendly, seemed like he'd be alright with that sort of thing, but you never really know someone's true colors. Not until the paint has chipped away.

Just give it time.

Binding was something he had never given a lot of thought. He had a fund set aside, slowly saving up for top surgery. He'd just have to live with himself until he was able to afford it. His body never really bothered him. Not in this way. He only ever binded to help make himself present better.

But now.. something had flipped in his brain. He had outgrown his previous binder, and God, he couldn't stand the sight of his chest. Made his skin crawl the same way it had crawled all those years ago, when the officers had called him "Miss." He wanted to forget it, and tried his damned hardest to forget that feeling, but it was the one thing he couldn't shake. Could never forget.

There was one solution. Didn't they keep some medical tape under the sink? In case something went wrong while on the job? Maybe.. maybe that could be a proper substitute. He had ordered a new binder- set to deliver in a week- so maybe this would have to do for now?

He turned to the side, raising his shoulders and sucking in his breath, flattening out his body, staring in the mirror to see if it helped him appear flatter.

It.. it was uncomfortable, but- it got the job done. It would do for now. The tape tugged at his skin, and itched all over.. but the flatness of his chest soothed him. Made things feel better.

The bathroom door opened, to his surprise. (Hadn't he locked it?)

"Oh! My bad, I'm sorry to..." John trailed off, his eyes trailing to the tape that was wrapped tightly around his flatmate's chest. "May I uhm, may I ask what you're doing?"

The paint began to chip away. Flames hid behind them.

Sherlock flushed, aware of his vulnerability, crossing his arms across his torso. "It's- It's nothing, John.. just.. got injured on our previous case, that's all." He lied, refusing to make eye contact with the doctor. This probably wasn't the best or safest option, he was aware of it, but it was one week- he's done worse to himself.

"Want me to.. to take a look for you, then? I could help-"

"No thank you, John. I.. I don't require any assistance."

John nodded, but remained still.

"Turn around." The doctor said softly. "Please."

No fire extinguisher in sight. No water.

But he did so anyway.

Damn the flames.

"Oh.."

Sherlock drew his arms closer to his body, still avoiding eye contact. "Are.. are you happy now?"

John took a step forward, cautiously. "Not really.."

"Why.. Why is that?" He gulped.

"This is.. incredibly unsafe. Good God, Sherlock, please tell me you haven't been.. been doing this the entire time we've known each other."

Sherlock's shoulders relaxed, allowing himself to look at John. "No.. this is just a.. a temporary solution, until my new.. binder.. comes in." The word hung heavily on his tongue.

"Thank goodness. You have no idea the risks, do you?"

"Oh, I'm aware. But, it was only for a week. I've been through worse. Done worse, even.."

John frowned. "Please.. please take that off. It's not safe. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Fine. Just- just for now.. I suppose my body could use a break."

The doctor's frown faded, replaced by a light grin with his hand on the doorknob. "Thank you."

The door shut with a soft click, and it was Sherlock's turn to frown. Tearing off the tape with a wince, he tossed his shirt back on- a plain, white button up shirt- refusing to look in the mirror. He felt sick enough as it was.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he made his way towards the living area, his feet getting heavier with each step. Dreadful thoughts and scenarios filled his brain.

This was the first time he had been seen without a binder on for quite some time. Always made sure his chest looked flat before he left the house- didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea.

He found himself standing in front of the fireplace, gazing at himself. The testosterone had done its job, yes, but there were still traces of his former self lingering there. His arms were too- thin, and his face was too soft. His lips, they were... they're.. they're not right.

Gentle, short arms wrapped around his torso as a face buried itself into his back.

"Don't." John mumbled against the fabric of his clothing. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Do what?" He rested his arms against John's.

"Overanalyze everything.. ruin yourself.. You look fine just the way you are."

Sherlock ran his thumb over John's knuckles, leaning into the touch. "Force of habit, my apologies. Sorry for not telling you sooner. I.. I wasn't sure when would be the right time."

His flatmate shook his head, pulling the detective closer. "You don't have to apologize for things like that, I understand why. It's- It's personal. You don't owe me this information."

Sherlock swallowed thickly. "So you don't.. you don't think of me any differently?" He tensed, bracing for all kinds of responses.

"Not in the slightest. You are the great Sherlock Holmes, you are you, I only admire you for how you've managed to figure yourself out. That takes great strength, which I don't doubt you have."

Sherlock turned himself around, so he was no longer facing the mirror, instead facing John. "I.. Thank you, for your.. support. This has been sudden, and I couldn't ask for a better friend."

John only hugged him tighter in response. "Of course.. I'm here if you need anything."

Sherlock smiled, reciprocating the hug and resting cheek on John's head. "I may have an idea."

His friend chuckled. "Which is?"

It turned out to be a day spent lounging on the couch in each other's arms, watching crap telly until they drifted off into a bliss, peaceful sleep.

tysm for reading mwah mwah <3

#man i love writing #trans sherlock #trans sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes #john watson #bbc sherlock #bbc sherlock fic #them <3 #hurt/comfort #majorly self indulgent #not beta read #no beta we die like mary #IM SORRY HGEHGEHIGE #tfw when trans sherlock #this is gonna be living rent free in my head now lolol

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charliescreatures · 1 year

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Some fan art from the book ‘The Affair of the Mysterious Letter’ by Alexis Hall- this wonderful lovecraftian mystery is a favourite of mine! Though I’d recommend all of Hall’s books as I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all the ones I’ve read!

This is a tarot style Captain John Wyndham, the voice of the book and my favourite prude who cares a lot- he’s grand!

#also he’s a trans man and that makes me so happy #it’s a great book #Sherlock Holmes inspired except homes is a messy but wonderful sorceress #alexis hall #the affair of the mysterious letter #fan art #digital art #digital illustration #fantasy #art #artists on tumblr #trans character #lgbt artist #captain John Wyndham #fanart

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mossnrocksnbogwater · 1 year

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some sherlock holmes :)

#aiden speaks #my art #traditional art #sherlock holmes #john watson #this is for my adaptation of it #i should probably make them a unique tag. but yknow #enjoy my silly gnc trans man #he is a trans man. he uses he/him. don't misgender him

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theh0usethatjackbuilt · 2 years

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Male character: 🧑

Me: 🤗

Same male character, later in time and slightly older: 🧑‍🦳

Me: 😲😲😲💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

#this applies to sherlock holmes star trek forrest gump and every other media #i name those because those are the ones that made me burst into tears #me as a trans man acting like i dont know why im shocked when im thrilled by the idea of growing old as a man

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ohwhataniight · 1 month

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The Good that won't Come Out - a trans Sherlock fic - Part 2

This is the second part of my shamelessly self indulgent trans!lock fic.

Contains descriptions of transition, top surgery, coming out.

Click here for Part 1

for @gaylilsherlock and their trope suggestion "wound dressing"

I do this thing where I think I'm real sick

But I won't go to the doctor to find out about it'

Cause they make you stay real still in a real small space

As they chart up your insides and put them on display

They'd see all of it, all of me, all of it

All of the good that won't come out of meAnd all the stupid lies I hide behindIt's such a big mistakeLying here in your warm embrace

Oh, you're almost home

I've been waiting for you to come in

Dancing around in your old suits

Going crazy in your room again

I think I'll go out and embarrass myself

By getting drunk and falling down in the street

You say I choose sadness

That it never once has chosen me

Maybe you're right

The Good that Won't Come Out – Rilo Kiley

You need to come home at once. - SH

It is urgent. -SH

I require medical assistance. - SH

I curse lightly under my breath, throwing myself up from the couch in the middle of the movie. I was never a Star Wars fan but I agreed to this marathon for Vicky’s sake. We’re halfway through the first film and I’m already letting her down. Again. For Sherlock. Who has never in the past allowed me to take care of him when he needs a doctor. Now he's the one asking for me. This must be bad.

“Emergency at home. I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go, Sherlock needs me,” I tell her as she looks at me dumbfounded. I stumble down the stairs and hail a cab to 221B, my mind racing over the most horrible scenarios - strangulation, explosions, head trauma - hell, he might have given himself third degree burns from spaghetti water, for all I know. He does that thing where he tries to cook sometimes, and I’ve got to deal with the casualties.

I rush up the stairs with my heart catching on my throat and burst through the half-opened door, only to find him sitting on the couch cross-legged, his shoes off, no nightgown, with a gash on his white shirt that’s sticking with half-dried blood. I grab my medical kit from the coffee table by the door and stand before him, trying to catch my breath. My leg is burning, so are my lungs. “Up. Kitchen. You know the drill,” I eventually manage to command him, and he obliges, standing up and following me to the other room.

I turn on the light in the kitchen. I place my bag on the corner of the table, next to a china bowl full of human toes. A feeling very much like fury is also starting to burn in my chest. Of course he went along and got himself into trouble without him despite me very explicitly asking him not to do so. Of course he didn’t get his own ass to the ER and called me here, ruining yet another date. So selfish, that man and his blood.

He’s already unbuttoning his own shirt as I lay down the saline and the gauze before leaning over him to help him as he winces in pain when the bloodied fabric sticks to his skin. “You did it again, didn’t you?” I huff. “Putting yourself in danger right after I asked you to behave, for one night, just one night, Sherlock.” I help him remove his shirt and lean over him to closely inspect the wound. “May I ask what you were up to?”

“I was merely doing my duty as a law-abiding civilian, helping out a fellow human being whose future was about to be tainted by blackmail. You know I despise foul play,” he says, but there’s something missing - both his usual nonchalance and his alternative bouts of histrionics. He is dead serious, pensive, even. I feel him cold and rigid under my gloved hands, growing more distant by the minute. “Besides, it is but a scratch, as you can observe yourself.”

“Indeed, it is quite superficial,” I say as I quickly inspect the skin over his ribcage and assess the damage. He shudders under my fingers, short hair on his chest sticking out, skin pale with goosebumps. “You’re lucky. May I ask how you got it?”

“Climbing off of some railings,” he complies dutifully.

“You’ll need a tetanus shot. Christ, Sherlock,” I sigh, as I turn around to grab everything I need to disinfect the gash.

“Never call me a girl again, John.”

I look up at him in utter disbelief, wondering if I’ve misheard. His silver blue eyes pull me in like a vacuum under the transparent light of the kitchen. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. He looks disorganized, ruffled hair, shaking hands and all. He also looks... is that angry? - hesitant?

“Sorry, what now?” I momentarily stop the process of taking care of his wound to register what he is telling me.

“Earlier this evening, at Scotland Yard, you called Gale and myself girls during one of your frequent bouts of sarcasm. It's something that you've done again the past. I am asking that you never repeat that. It is imperative.”

“What... what is this about?” I ask, feeling a wave of defensiveness rush over me. “Were you offended?”

“Yes, I was.”

I’m staring at half-naked Sherlock Holmes with my mouth agape. “We are not in the Victorian era, Sherlock. People have long ago stopped considering the term “girls” as a derogatory one.”

“The implications of what you said were derogatory.”

“I... no. You know what? We’re not doing this. I have to dress your wound, and if one of us needs to work on his misogyny, that’s you, not me. I see how you talk to Donovan, you know. Impertinent.”

Now he looks positively pissed off. His eyes are sparkling dangerously, the muscles and tendons on his neck and shoulders have tightened, his hands are clenched into fists. Is he going to fight me? “I am not. A girl.”

“That’s fairly obvious, Sherlock. What I did is called a joke.”

“Never make that joke again.”

“O-okay. Now will you let me do the thing you called me here for or should I let you bleed out on the carpet?” That man is driving me insane. I should be the one who’s angry after tonight’s fiasco, and here I am, apologizing to one of the rudest, most offensive men I know for having pulled innocent fun at his masculinity a couple of times.

“I am not going to bleed out, John, and you know that better than I do. You agreed it’s just a scratch.” He winces as I return to him with the gauze, trying to clean the scratch that starts from his left side and reaches over the edge of his nipple as gently as I can.

“You’ve had much worse, it's true," I tell him, my previous annoyance returning in full force. “Can I ask what gave you the good sense to call me here for this... scratch, then?”

“I was worried about it,” he says, holding his breath as I open the hydrogen peroxide bottle. He hisses when I touch him again with the dreaded ointment. “I needed you to have a look at it”

I try to ignore the way the word needed finds me so helplessly receptive, how it immediately disarms me and calms me down. “I was on a date, Sherlock,” I say in a softened voice. “The ER at Bart’s is full of competent...”

“I don’t trust them with that.”

“What is that? Are you hurt anywhere else? What happened? Sherlock, talk to me.”

Sherlock grabs my wrist and pulls my hand that is holding some clean gauze away from him. “I am indeed planning to talk to you.”

“What are you doing - what do you mean, Sherlock?” I ask, feeling alarmed. His fingers remain tangled around my wrist, holding it up in the air and the dust that hovers between us. I wonder if he can feel the hammering of my pulse and I try to catch my breath. “I don’t understand what got you worried about this scratch. I’ll finish patching it up, give you a tetanus shot, and you’ll be right as rain.”

“I will be administering the injection myself, thank you very much.”

“What - no. What are you talking about? I don’t know what experiments you’ve made with needles in the past, and frankly I don’t need to know. I am a doctor...”

“And I am a chemist who has been giving himself injections on his own backside once a month for years.” He’s still holding my hand, and is not reaching out with his free hand and pulling my fingers open, placing the gauze back on the table.

“What are you talking about?”

“John, as always you look but do not observe.” And with that, he guides my hand back on his chest, guides my fingers to trace over his left nipple where I can see the pink, inflamed skin around the scratch that fades out just there. My fingertips lie brush over his areola, and I feel the ever so faint, hair-thin oread of scar tissue. I lean closer and his warm breathes on the nape of my neck makes me shudder. I suddenly realize I am inspecting the delicate craftsmanship of an incision. An identical one one his other nipple.

"What are these, Sherlock?"

I feel him inhale under my fingers. His gaze avoids mine. "My battle scars," he breathes out eventually, the hint of a smile appearing on his otherwise troubled face.

His battle scars.

“The keyhole technique, then,” I murmur, raising my eyes to quiz his for an explanation. “You're lucky, this is superficial and has not affected the incision but we'll have to keep an eye on it. Exquisitely performed, your surgeon must have been a true artist. Gynecomastia?” But then, had he not said something about injecting his backside once a month? “Oh.” Oh.

“Yes, oh.” He’s staring back at me with his expression now that of pure terror laced with anticipation. The brief smile has disappeared from his face and he looks as breathless as I am. “Took you long enough, John.”

To be continued

#sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #bbc sherlock #johnlock fanfiction #fanfiction #johnlock fic #sherlock #sickfic #injury #top surgery #trans man Sherlock Holmes #trans Sherlock #translock #trans!lock #doctor john watson #transition #trans #queer

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contact-guy · 23 days

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“#I read so many gay Victorian love letters and books to get the tone right lol #Plato‘s symposium reference was THE way to signal you liked men in the late 19th century“ would you mind sharing some of your sources? 👀 I also want to write gay Victorian fanfiction am just naturally curious about the victorians

Omg 1000%, let me cite my sources:

Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteeth Century by Graham Robb - this book is a treasure trove of well researched information. A lot of queer history focuses on men and I really appreciate all the stories about women in this one. It’s 20 years old and by (as far as I can tell) a straight author, so there’s some limitations - a total lack of awareness of bisexuality and trans identity - but I really enjoyed it regardless. There’s also like four pages where he discusses Sherlock Holmes as an iconic gay protagonist that changed my brain.

Fanny and Stella by Neil McKenna - a heavily researched story of two trans femmes in Victorian England, the crossdressing trial that scandalized London, their sisterhood and surrounding community, and the love triangle they were involved in. It’s written in a VERY fun and gossipy way, with a ton of primary sources, and is such a compelling story! This author also wrote a book about Wilde I haven’t read yet.

Gay History and Literature by Ricor Norton - it’s a website, not a book (I can’t find his books except at really high prices!) but it’s an obsessively compiled list of…basically…what it says on the tin. There’s a collection of gay love letters and newspaper clippings that are fascinating to read!

The Portrait of Mr. W. H. by Oscar Wilde, heard of him? This is my favorite Wilde story! It’s about the theory that Shakespeare’s sonnets were written to a young man, and how the desire for proof drives a man to death, and the frustrations and joys of looking for yourself in long-dead writing.

Before Queer Theory: Victorian Aestheticism and the Self by Dustin Friedman - reading this book felt like making my brain lift weights, but it was really interesting - it’s about the Aesthetic movement and how modern queer identity began in the nineteeth century.

Maurice by E. M. Forster (not technically Victorian but close) is a story written in 1913 about gay love (published in 1971 and dedicated to “a happier time” 🥲). It gave me some ideas about how a confession could play out. Plato’s Symposium is used as a pickup line, of course.

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pray4byron · 3 months

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Hi! I saw that a matchup event is open and I (of course) had to join : ) here I go!

FANDOM: I would like a MALE HAZBIN HOTEL matchup request please! the characters I don’t want is husker or angel dust (I have no problem with them but I don’t feel comfortable with having them as romantic partners…..)

ABOUT ME: My name is Jaxrel! People call me "Jax" for short. also use other names like Himawari, Rin, etc, He/Him (They/Them is acceptable), I'm a Trans Man who's pansexual and l've been diagnosed with mental illness and disorders that I do not wish sharing ATM.

Personality(+ Notes): I'm a ENTP Ravenclaw, 5w4, Extroverted. I'm a very chill and intelligent person I'm very polite and sweet! at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to), dad/ tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when l'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. If this helps more the characters I kin a lot are: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Gojo Satoru (Jujustu Kaisen), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

MORE KINS: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more 😃

Looks: Half Polish and Vietnamese with Some Scottish and Half Middle Eastern(Iraqi) /Filipino with Some Russian, I'm very skinny like just flat, I have hazel eyes and some slight flecks of amber and blue, I have upturned eyes but they seem like they are almond shaped but they aren't too noticeable, I think I have a heart shaped face but from different angles it looks more diamond shaped(?), I'm approximately 5'8, I have a dimple only on my chin, I have dyed black hair, I also have bangs too, my clothing style tends to stretch widely from comfy to... a lot like this! I wear gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, gyaruo, rokku, manba, baba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & vkei ouji and lolita, I can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as, jirai kei, decora and more so on.

Likes: Chocolate, Strawberries, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Art (Digital Art, Drawing, Painting, Pottery, etc), Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Anthropology, Zoology, Theology(+ more) Cold/or Rainy Weather, Cooking, Cosplaying, Shopping, Playing Tabletop RPG's, Chess Board Games or just Gaming, Dancing, Abstract or Romance movies, Murder Mysterys, Kdrama, Spicy or Sweet Food, Ramen, learning new languages/instruments and much more.

Dislikes: Loud Noises, Slow Walkers, People who don't know when to close their mouths when chewing and hot weather.

Love Languages: physical touch & words of affirmation (giving). gift giving, words of affirmation & physical touch (receiving).

Thank you so much! I can’t wait to see who I got!!!! :-)

hey jaxrel!! i knew pretty much immediately before you even submitted who i was doing for ya haha, and that person is…

Lucifer !!

You and Luci are like the gay dads to Charlie and the gang it’s actually so cute

Lucifer lovesss to get deep into shit and philosophical with you haha

He loves having lazy days in bed with you, just curled up together, talking about anything or just fuckin’ sleeping lmao

Both of you two struggle with mental health on your occasions, so the fact that you two can pick each other back up is super sweet, you and Lucifer grow to better understand eachother and pick up on the little cues which make handling the harder days a lot easier for the both of ya!

Lucifer also loves your various styles, as I said in your last request, he definitely has you style him some sick fits for his important meetings haha

He also loves making you little small duck related gifts, because ducks are the only thing he knows how to make😭💕

#reqs open #x reader #mio’s writing ! ☆#mio’s matchups ! ☆#fanfiction #x y/n #x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x y/n #lucifer x reader #lucifer x you #lucifer

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professional-termite · 21 days

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What Star Trek headcannons do you have?

*cracks knuckles* tng headcanons infodumping time (i havent finished tng yet but i have projected very very hard onto several characters and also made everyone on this ship bisexual bc i can)

picard:

worlds grumpiest polyam gray aroace bi man

i think if he had a grape fanta he would simply Die. not in a good way. actually any soda i think i could kill this guy with a baja blast

hes absolutely not dating riker but like half the ship thinks he is. also theyve screwed like twice but platonically dw abt it

hes dating both dr crusher and q. because i say so

riker:

TRANS MAN RIKER SUPREMACY!!! RIKER IS SO TRANS BC I SAY SO ‼️‼️

hes polyam and also arospec. i think hed like the label aroallo but gray aromantic allo bisexual is more accurate

hes dating like Everyone. data, troi, dr crusher, worf, geordi. my mans is absolutely rolling in romantic/sexual partners

he takes time to take every single one of them on dates catered to them and is absurdly romantic whenever he gets the chance. think rose petals and chocolate and violins

he doesnt ENCOURAGE rumours that he and the captain are dating but he doesnt DISCOURAGE them either

geordi:

pathetic little bisexual man. puts him in the oven

hes dating riker (everyone is dating riker lmao) and in a borderline romantic qpr with data (he calls data his boyfriend but also likes to clarify its not quite Dating since data is aroace)

data and geordi have sherlock holmes rp date nights. this one isnt even a hc actually pretty sure they literally do this in canon

worf:

aroallo bi worf is real and true i would know i was the enterprise

he acts like he hates rikers stupid romantic bs whenever he takes worf on dates (usually they end up just going to a holodeck and duking it out homoerotically afterwards anyways) but then he lays awake at night thinking about riker like 😳

i think he likes drawing skulls. i have exactly 0 canon to back this up but i think he would enjoy drawing skulls

data (can you tell hes my favourite lmao):

spends literal hours researching romantic/sexual relationships so he can be a good partner to geordi and riker even tho he considers himself aroace. usually comes up with something stupidly cheesy (even worse than riker) for dates and they both absolutely adore him for it

polyam aroace bi, and also he/him agender. because i said so

data likes to bonk his head on his partners as a show of affection. its like a kiss on the cheek/forehead except youre getting BONKED by an android

one of my moots (data la forge maybe?) said something about data purring and like thats actually canon as stated before i would know i was the enterprise

also he likes to lay his head on geordis lap. because I Said So

he is included in Girls Nights. he and keiko and troi and dr crusher all get together and he listens to their gossip while they paint his nails and do his makeup

troi:

troi tops. 100%

shes in a relationship both dr crusher and riker, and also had a thing going with tasha yar before she died

i think she considers herself poly bi with a preference for men, but she usually ends up in lasting relationships with women

i feel like she and riker are more of a qpr/fwb situation rather than a romantic one. theyre besties who are also soulbound and also love each other and also fuck nasty sometimes

dr crusher:

pansexual. did you see the way she literally did not care about gender when her parasite lover became a woman?? this is a pansexual

she likes helping data get ready for dates n stuff. they hang out in her quarters and she does his hair and picks out outfits and gives him advice

wesley:

him and his gf from that one episode (robin i think her name was??) are t4t. i base this on my Divine Intuition

summons a large eagle to carry him off into the night

i want to call this man every slur i know. horrid creature. kisses him on the forehead

has no connection to gender identity or sexuality. hes probably aspec but identifies only as queer bc Q

he and picard have fucked nasty at least once. theres no way they havent

#ask #anonymous #star trek tng #star trek #trek adventures with van #star trek headcanon

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razielwritesstuff · 1 year

Text

Obey Me! Headcannons ~

I have never and will never hide that I dislike Luci

BUT

I do have thoughts

This man is just constantly sipping a caffeinated beverage he needs it to deal with these mfs

He's a single mother of all 6 of his brothers

I think all demons have sharp teeth. His are the least sharp of the brothers and he is PISSED ABT IT TGURBODFK

Fav song is probably by Mozart. Basic ass.

I discussed how the om! chars would deal wirth being in mlp (pls dont ask) and Luci and Luna give me an evil grinch smile

I feel like he'd curse when angry

Idk.

Gay ass

Smells like pine trees or something

I think he'd have a fear of mascots

Like. character mascots.

Don't ask me okay

Smells like axe bodyspray and SADNESS

Am I WRONG????

We all love mammon but that man.... we know he uses axe...

Befriends the local crows.

There is so many he could be carried off

They all give him shiny shit to sell

Did everyone remember how he's canonically a model

He's attractive. Canonically.

Anyways, second-sharpest teeth of the bros

This is cannon (TO ME) but Mammon is just attached to MC like glue

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" "LET GO OF MY HAND THEN????"

He once tried to steal and sell some of leviathan's games

The cast took a while to come off :)

Fav song is something CUNTY ik it

Most girlypop aside from asmo (YTO ME!!!!)

He's great :D

He is so trans to me as a transmasc.

He has a main twitter and an alt twitter. Nobody knows abt the alt so he uses it to doxx ppl he doesn't like

I love Leviathan but I swear to God I don’t think he knows what deodorant is

“man for a guy who sleeps in a bathtub you really have no concept of hygiene”

How many Henrys has he had??? who tf knows.

Fav animal is SNAKES

Loves pokemon. his fav would be gyarados

He will assume anything except romantic intentions at all times

Autistic. As approved by my friend with the 'tism

He would be a brony

Lovable but a Bit Cringe

Has tied Mammon to a chair and forced him to watch stuff before

EXPERT at pirating shit

Would play Undertale.

Speedrunner !!

Would spend like the better part of a month to discover EVERY SINGLE glitch, bug, and exploit in a game to use it to is advantage

Has a sims 4 cc folder that's like 80 terabytes

He's my malewife and he's everything to me.

Would make a shiny living dex on every single Pokémon game

He has multiple cardboard cutouts of his waifus

Satan has an Ao3 account. He writes exclusively on his fav characters

His Ao3 tag has something to do with Sherlock Holmes fight me

He tweets in perfect grammar

He'd kill over a board game

Would cry over a cute cat video

WARRIOR CATS NERD

HE'S COME UP WITH WARRIOR NAMES FOR EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THE CAT HE THINKS IS MOST SIMILAR

Lucifer got assigned as Tigerclaw LMAO

He would get into Leviathan's fandoms but only bc Leviathan forced him. He comes out liking the thing.

His favorite disney movie would be Aristocats

Loves Luigi

He became a cat person specifically because Lucifer is a dog person

He'd also be a brony

The one that can analyze media properly

His brothers use him to spellcheck their essays

He either watches video essays on YouTube or he makes them

Likes reading about witchkraft from the human realm, he finds it interesting

The one that taught Leviathan to make cardboard cutouts

Knows about 50 stray cats and has named them all

Constantly brags about how he has sharper teeth than Lucifer

Smells like a different scented candle every week

Has that stereotypical gay accent

He's zesty

He's girlypop but we all knew that

Listens to Ayesha Erotica

Goes like "GIRL you would NOT believe what Solomon did!!"

He spills all the tea all the time

King shit

He'd wear a dress in a heartbeat and he'd ROCK IT

He would cry over broken nails but not because of the pain it might cause, only because it looks ugly asf now

"I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MAKEUP WAS 40 GRIMM"

The one who painted everyone's nails

Will threaten you in order to paint your nails, but he will do a color you like

King at make up

Absolutely loves Ru Paul

Keeps trying to get Dia to set up a drag race, he's unsuccessful as of now

Strawberry is his favorite flavor

He's very physically affectionate but would absolutely respect boundaries i will kill you if you think otherwise

He would HYPE. YOU. UP.

Has gum on him 24/7

Also has tampons on him so he can give them to the homies who need them (like Leviathan)

IDK man I didn't used to like him that much but he's grown on me

VERY GOOD COOK because of course he is

Loves giving piggyback rides

Tall enough and beefy enough for you to sit on his shoulders

Would also let Belph sleep on his shoulders

He's a golden retriever. We knew this.

Surprisingly good at Just Dance

Not a dog person not a cat person but a secret third thing (he thinks cows are adorable)

Always spares bugs and spiders when he finds them

Cannot watch cooking shows, he's tried to eat the TV before

Loves going to movie theaters, will pay just for the overpriced popcorn

You can tell he genuinely loves you if he shares his food

Like he shares his food with MC and all the brothers are like "W. WHAT??"

Would INSIST you look great no matter what you look like

You will cuddle with him and Belph this is an Order

Smells like food-scented deodorant

He would be too scared to roughhouse with anyone, boy is too strong

Likes just picking people up and carrying them off

He's done this with Satan once and it actually calmed him down

Favorite show is Bluey probably

Favorite animal is a maned wolf or something

Would kill for a klondike bar

Sharpest teeth out of the brothers + bites as a love language

Every time he bites Leviathan it results in Leviathan squealing higher than able to be heard by humankind

Talks in his sleep. It is adorable thank you for asking!

Smells like Lavendar, vanilla deodorant, and a little bit of "hasn't showered in 2 days" hidden underneath

Drinks a lot of milk

Blueberry is his favorite flavor

Lucid dreams a lot

He does not believe dreams have meanings his are always either incomprehensible or if they did have menains have ones he really doesnt like

Would drink monster energy but he hates the taste of caffeine (he just like me forreal)

Gummies are his favorite snack

He gives off trans energy but i honest to diavolo can't tell if he's transfem or transmasc or neither i CANT TELL

He's girly pop in his own unique way

His DDD's ringtone is Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica

He's neurodivergent to me i just dont know how

Chews on everything for sensory reasons

Spoiled. Because he's the youngest sibling ofc he is

Every time he drinks hot cocoa he puts marshmallows in it

He considers "barging into your room and scooching you over in your bed to cuddle" a sleepover

Alternatively he'll get Beel to bring you to their room

Hey everyone remember how he's canonically a yandere-

Anyways he's cool :)

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