#uk what thats a good point

[siriusly-the-best-bi]

Ya know what’s curious to me? In Episode 2 when Crowley asks Aziraphale in the cellar whose side he’s on, Aziraphale responds “God’s, of course!”

Ya know why this is curious?

Well, for one, they’re talking about sides. Heaven and Hell. Their respective bosses. Crowley’s response of going along with Hell as far as he can makes sense, it’s what we expect to hear, but when he turns the question on Aziraphale, he doesn’t exclaim ‘heaven’s obviously!’ He immediately associates himself and his values with God directly.

Second of all, In episode 6, when talking about accepting the Metatron’s job offer as the new supreme archangel with Crowley, Aziraphale says “but heaven! Well, it’s the side of truth, of light, of good.”

For the entirety of Good Omens season 1, Aziraphale had always talked about following God’s ineffable plan, which was a noticeably different turn of phrase than those such as Gabriel used in heaven, always referring to it as the Great Plan. This is even the very thing that lead them to wiggling their way around Armageddon in the first place when confronted by Gabriel and Beelzebub.

Aziraphale has always made the distinction that he is an angel and does good because he believes that God is good and he trusts in their design.

Now I might just be loosing it, it is nearly 3am, but this sudden distinction and the choice of Aziraphale to not only discuss heaven in such a manner, but to refer to it as an entire Side, and use the adjectives he uses to describe heaven when we’ve only ever seen or heard him talk about God this way… it just all plays very intentional to me. It feel’s weird.

Especially once you take into consideration the flashbacks we’re shown of Beelzebub and Gabriel discussing the failed Armageddon in their little pub rendezvous. They never once mention their respect ‘boss’. Gabriel says “we are ready for round two.” And Beelzebub’s response is “as are we.” This we that they’re referring to isn’t God. It’s not Satan. They’re talking about the beings who reside in these respective places. The Angels and the Demons. And the conversation then continues with Gabriel admitting, “everyone in Heaven is all like, ‘Well, you’re the commander-in-chief, can’t you just make the war happen anyway?’ Like, I make the rules.” And whats Beelzebub’s response? “That’s exactly what my lot said.”

The pressure isn’t coming from God anymore. In the past, like seen in the Job episode, when there were divine tasks at hand they were dealt with by the angels for God, and God was directly involved in finding the outcome. There was no going through management or filing paperwork or monitoring miracles. And hey, I get it. As time evolves along with the humans, so does everything else.

My question is, is it possible that with these evolutions in the human world, that Heaven and Hell have perhaps learned a thing or two from humanity as well? Already they’ve mimicked the clothing, the office spaces, the entire design of heaven and hell down to the management hierarchy. Is it possible that these wars and these fights aren’t being started by God anymore, but an act of civil war amongst the Angels and Demons? We already see Michaels urge for power and control paralleled and almost foiled by Shax’s drive for control and power and both were the driving factors between any of the Major problems this season that lead to major conflicts between Heaven and Hell.

That brings us of course, to the Metatron. Who is he and where exactly did he come from? When did his position become necessary and why wasn’t he present as the ‘voice of god’ in the job minisode? Why suddenly are all of God’s plans, only being carried out by him?

Do you want to know why I think Gabriel was being demoted and not sent to Hell as a fallen angel? Because I don’t think they can. I think that’s something only God can do, but what kind of fear and control would that hold over all the busy bee’s? No, no, instead, let’s frame it as a Kindness. Heaven won’t cast you out because it will make them look bad! because it’s happened before, so they have no choice but to play a game of politics to keep everyone in check.

But here’s my question. Has there been a fallen angel since the great war? Why is it that after all this time, Aziraphale hasn’t fallen time and time again? Why is it that instead of an Angel falling from grace to join the armies of hell, the response to an act of rebellion is absolute destruction. The same could be said for hell. If you have demons walking around that are doing good, wouldn’t that simply just re-spark their halo’s? Why is it that they’d be destroyed by Holy Water instead of simply returning to Heaven?

It’s because God plays an ineffable game of their own design. They’re not playing with earth, or humanity. They’re toying with the Angels and the Demons. It’s why they’re placing bets with Satan.

When Crowley’s attempting to convince Aziraphale to run away for the last time, he doesn’t say Fuck God and Fuck whatever game this is, we don’t need to be a part of it. He says Heaven and Hell are toxic we need to get away from them.

It’s just so curious to me how this season has carefully and slowly taken us away from the idea of God and God’s Ineffable Plan and instead led us into this drama between Heaven and Hell, no mention of God whatsoever. No narrator.

#thoughts anyone? #genuinely curious if i just need a fucking nap #but also idk this time watching it really just struck me #when theyre discussing sides in the job minisode #they’re talking about heaven and hell #when the question is turned back on Aziraphale however #unlike crowleys answer of ‘i go along with hell as far as i can’ he doesnmt even mention Heaven #he goes straight to god #uk what thats a good point #let me add that into the post rq hold on #fuck me i went back to add the little paragraph and went on a tangent #it is now nearly 4am #so #ahem #shit #i hope this is even vaguely coherent and that people see it #i hope it doesn’t get swallowed by the void cause i think im onto something but im so tired #bi.f.shit #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable divorcées #ineffable husbands #good omens spoilers #good omens meta #good omens analysis

[aechlys]

I continue to be mad as hell at whoever translated the dialogue in this game to english. Lars/Lochar spends SO much time calling MC "my princess" and other sweet things- in fact they all do- and not a single goddamn thing ever gets translated by this lazy motherfucker who would RATHER add shit that's not even in the dialogue than translate what's actually freaking there.

🤩✨️Fire Them✨️🤩

#lovebrush chronicles #if at any point you've ever gone 'wait what?' thats because the translator fucking sucks #i'm so salty about all of it #like you have ONE JOB and you are FUCKING IT UP UK SUSAN!!!! #it is clearly translated by someone in the UK and they have not done a good job and sure i'll use that as evidence against them why #not

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#christ. so i was selected as the top candidate for the program i interviewed with on Friday #and im very annoyed and very pleased and also annoyed that im pleased #im pleased bc it means that they were impressed with what ive done to this point and they think i communicate well. which is cool #and the project is very very cool and id love to work on it #am annoyed bc this does put pressure on me to accept bc they can only put one student forward so if i dip out then thats it for them #which i find extremely stressful. and everything is just so much more complicated if i go to the uk for a phd #and i dont get the luxury of faffing about and taking a bunch of classes like i could in the us. ugh but it would b so cool to go back to #the uk and i wouldn't have to fucking drive. ugh. this project. #ugh its like my boss said #sometimes the project is more worth it than the school. id have crazy cool opportunities to learn things on this project #but at the cost of taking a lot of classes in the us. but every project is what u make of it #but im so fucking dyslexic thst its hard to learn outside a classroom bc i cant concentrate and i dont have a person talking me thru the #info. so idk idk. hopefully when i visit the other school ill kno how i feel #god but i loved living in the uk. and i could travel so much more freely there bc the trains and all that. im so fucking restricted bc im #so terrified of driving. i dont have good reaction speed and i space out too much and i get intrusive thoughts #sigh... but id be a whole 24hrs of travel away from my family instead of the 10hrs thst i am now #so id probably only get to see them once a year maybe? in contrast to 2 or 3 times #and im just worried something terrible will happen and then ill be like fuck i wasted all my time making myself miserable so far away #idk. im so tired. we had like a mile abd a half hike out to a site one way and we left at 7.30 got back at like 4 #it was a long fucking day. and im tried. and i have no filter. and when i talk too much it really annoys me #also! i got confirmation that i fucking suck at recording data. wow im so shocked. its basically designed for me to be terrible at #but its still slightly embarrassing. like srry i fucked up ur data. i cant write words correctly #literally i kept writing my Ls upside down today. why? idk that not how i see them. my brain just cant make Language right lol #whatever. my parents r calling tomorrow and i can info dump at them abt my dyslexia knowledge and my academic knowledge of biblical history #bc instead of listening to anything useful to my job. i choose to listen to lectures on neurology and theology. bc fucking idk #its interesting im relearning my bible lore from a non religious perspective. theology is fucking fascinating. ugh anyway #i shoulf sleep im so fucking tried #unrelated

[beaniegaebie]

i don't really have any solid conclusions about this yet but i noticed A Thing in a rewatch and i haven't found it mentioned elsewhere yet so here we go

(apologies for the appalling image quality you're about to see, i can't screenshot easily rn pls bear with)

OKAY so in the scene where crowley confronts gabriel about "shut up and die", something about the arrangement of book stacks caught my eye a little

the majority of the books are angled so that we mostly just see the page edges and not the spines clearly, EXCEPT for a particularly shiny and familiar colour combo right here-

but nothing too weird going on there, i thought, crowley coloured books in a bookshop so what? right up until i registered crowley's line when we get a closer look-

hhhhmmmmMMmmmm yes yes "everything just the way you wanted" huh, very interesting considering that we know how much thought goes into props huh

and for most of the shots we get of crowley in this position those freaking books are just quietly nestled right there in the corner-

look at that god damn framing i fuckin see you, you glorious bastards

so i paused to see if i could figure out what the hell was up with those fuckers and this is when i absolutely lost my mind, your honour

A and C you say?? in crowley colours???? framed like this?????? localised entirely within your kitchen???

anyway long story short they're two books from an Agatha Christie Crime Collection set (24 volumes, three stories per volume) and guess whats on the mfing front covers I'm-

(its a rant for another post but when paired with this other set of initials spotted in s2 i want to scream actually)

ANYWAY back to the books, through an absolutely unhinged comparison of the formatting of gold text blobs i reckon the two we have here are:

(on top) The Pale Horse; The Big Four, The Secret Adversary

(on bottom) 4:50 From Paddington, Lord Edgeware Dies, Murder in Mesopotamia

(I'm fairly confident but if anyone has a better image to confirm/correct this pls do)

now here is where I'll need a bunch of help from some Christie-heads out there bc I haven't read any of these and I've only seen the tv adaptation of one of them, so i dont know for sure if these are like A Clue, or A Cool Thing, or if I've just fully brainrotted myself into a fun lil corner here? wa-hoo

but here's some initial stuff that jumped out at me after skimming the basics:

(some of) the titles: Pale Horse/Big Four - death's horse ofc, the four horsemen mayb? the them+adam?? ; Mesopotamia is a very biblical choice bbz ; 4:50 From Paddington- azi likes trains i guess? idk that one's tenuous lmao ; honestly no idea with the other two but Secret Adversary feels a tad ominous

iirc Big Four just has kind of an unusual history, it was initially twelve short stories that she later compiled into one, and it was published fairly soon after christie's mysterious disappearance/reappearance

in Big Four, poirot fakes his death at one point and doesnt even let hastings in on it and I'm hoping sure its totally irrelevant to the ineffable bois

part of the Pale Horse story is a group of assassins that basically try to pass off all their murders as being actually caused by like ✨satanic powers✨ which is interesting

christie knew a fUCkton about poisonings thats why she wrote so many into her work and, while i don't believe the poison coffee theory myself, it sure is an interesting link with how cyanide is associated with almond smell/flavour and that metatron chooses almond syrup in particular

(ALSO random side note that is mostly meaningless but I've worked in a good few uk coffee shops and have never worked anywhere that stocks almond syrup; almond milk yes, hazelnut syrup yes, but never almond syrup...? prob just the places i worked though lmao)

EDIT forgotten point: I've seen some speculation that the bently's plate reading "CURTAIN" could be a reference to poirot's last story, along side that alternate scene of crowley ordering the sherry for "miss marple", its just one too many agatha christie references for my melted brain to handle and I'm SUS

so this is where i run out of idea steam and hand it over to you lot because i have no clue what this could mean, if it even means anything other than a cool set feature

is there something here actually or am i yelling into the void just for fun?

who knows, who cares!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #agatha christie #hercule poirot #miss marple #can't wait to hear y'alls thoughts #SO WHY IS THERE A KNIFE THROUGH THE 'A' HUH #AND WHY IS THE 'C' ON THE CHALKBOARD SO FADED HMMM #GAIMAN EXPLAIN #things that make me go ngkk

[decolonize-the-left]

DIVEST FROM BANKS FOR PALESTINE

.....Correct me if I'm wrong but allies to Israel would have no money to move around and spend if we and banks have no money to move around for them right?

Even the US treasury needs a way to offer collateral for the billions they give to countries like Israel. Do you know what that collateral has been thus far? Your paycheck. The future paychecks of babies that can't even talk yet. That's how they'll pay all this off.

The government has been giving us the biggest fuck you that they could. Let's return the favor.

"yeah but the banks-"

Have been bailed out every time they've asked for it since I've been alive. They love debt when they aren't the ones paying it. They'll know how heavy the weight of their arms dealing is. There's a reason they have been phasing out paper checks and money- they can't move money they don't have and digital bank accounts can't see the paper money in your drawer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So yes absolutely keep boycotting.

And we should pull all our money out of Major Banks.

It's incredibly accessible for most people who already have a bank account, even if you can't protest or strike. And you don't have to miss any work.

So let's hit em where it hurts.

Banks (from this list of Banks that heavily fw Israel)

Citibank

Bank Julius Baer & Co

Bank Lombard Odier & Co

Banque Pictet & Cia SA

BNP Paribas Israel

CBH Compagnie Bancaire Helvetique S.A.

Dreyfus Sons & Co.

Hyposwiss Private Bank Geneve SA

JP Morgan Chase Bank N.A.

Silicon Valley Bank

Union Bancaire Privee

HSBC

Barclays

BNP Paribas Israel

State Bank of India

Other banks that have supported the genocide

Goldman Sachs

Bank of America

Wells Fargo

Blackrock

AXA

Capital One

RBS

Marks & Spencer

Tesco

Scotia Bank

Bank of Montreal

No, you don't have to cancel your direct deposits (most places in the USA won't even pay you without an account anyway). But you should drain your account ASAP. Don't let the money sit in your bank. Pull it out and use cash for everything you can. Don't put money in the bank unless you need to.

The point is just to keep as much money as you can out of banks for as long as you can.

Yeah it's gonna be harder to order online which may be inconvenient until we readjust but thats good.

It'll be a natural way for the boycotts to evolve.

A lot of fighting in the Red Sea is being done because of how much money the USA, UK, etc have to lose if they can't get their products on time. The Houthis turning ships away cost these countries millions every time. If there are less ships to turn away cuz people aren't ordering stuff from overseas then Good.

Yeah we could have an organized day to do this but...why??? It's accessible, it's free, and the people across the globe experiencing a genocide right now, from north America to Africa to Palestine don't have the luxury of waiting a few months for us to spread the word and organize.

If you see this share it. Copy/paste, repost, retweet, idc. Spread like wildfire pls

#banks #bank bailout #palestine protest #divest #palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #global solidarity #intersectionality #paycheck #working class #capitalism #strike #bank of america #chase bank #barclays #scotia bank #jpmorgan #tesco #economics #stock #stock exchange #stock market #capitalist #direct action #“this would crumble the economy” #that sounds like a good plan then. only bad plans wouldn't effect daily life #bank run #politics #israel #Gaza

[smicksstuff]

lets go racing in Jeddah! its the second race of the season and it is packed with twice the amount of drama you could have expected! drama unfolds, trophies passed around like hot potato and secrets spilled like red wine on a white dress. what has yn gotten herself into ? is all this worth it ?

read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 here

The PitBox Crew Series

Land of Pizza and Pasta

(f1drivers x yngasly)

a/n: sorry for the google translate french and italian. please note this is a work of fiction.

20 March 2023

yngasly

Jeddah

liked by lancestroll, estebanocon and 982, 792 others

yngasly i guess everyone is an aston martin now ?

view 791 comments

fernandoalo_official Vamos Yn !! 💪🏼

yngasly congratulations on P3 !

fernandoalo_official are you sure?

yngasly congrats to george then ?

yngasly someone help this is more confusing then trigonometry 😫

sharl she is so real for this

pierregasly what is with the memes

yngasly arent they cute !! i love Pear Gasly, gonna be your new contact now 😎

pierregasly no why?!

yngasly why not?

pierregasly at least its better than the current one

pedrogaseoso pls tell us what the current one is !! i need to know !!!

yngasly hint: its his spanish name 😉

pedrogaseoso NO WAY !!! MY USERNAME??! i have made it 😍

formulauno can someone tell me where to sign up to be yn’s friend ?

yngaslyfans SAME !!! drop the signups here 😃

charles_leclerc why am i a red flag ?

yngasly gee i dont know charles, maybe the fact that all my dates ditch me the second they find out i know you ? 😤

charles_leclerc well they weren’t good enough anyways 🤷🏻‍♂️

sharl where can i get a bestie like this ?

lancestroll green is definitely a good colour on you!

liked by yngasly and 67 others

lancelot ummm 👀 je suis pardon ? (translation: im sorry?)

f1fandom not another colour debate 😂

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20 March 2023

charles_leclerc added to their story

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24 March 2023

yukitsunoda0511 added to their story

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26 March 2023

yngasly

Italy

liked by isahernaez, lilymhe, katerinaberezhna and 799, 793 others

yngasly Mi è mancato questo posto! Bello essere tornato ❤️ (translation: i have missed this place! great to be back ! )

view 799 comments

isahernaez come to spain next !! i miss you 😫❤️

yngasly buying my plane ticket to spain after the race!!

carlossainz55 you dont miss me this much 😧

isahernaez i see you too much 🫢

carlossainz55 WOW

isahernaez come on i only see her at races or during breaks ☹️

carlossainz55 fine 😕

isahernaez im planning our date as we speak !! keep a whole day free babes 😘

yngasly you can have the whole week 😉

ybfusername GOD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yngasly ME TOO !! 😭😭😭 you need to come to UK next

ybfusername planning my trip to UK rn

landonorris if you need a tour guide, you know who is the best ! 😎

yngasly thanks lando for the offer! @maxfewtrell when are you free ?

landino oh no she did not 😧

maxfewtrell anytime mate! text me and ill bring my chauffeur too 👍🏼 (hint: he drives a mclaren)

quadrantmania not max joining in too

yngasly sounds like a plan 👍🏼

landonorris lando has left the chat

lilymhe im obessed with your outfits babe!! we need to go shopping together soon!!

yngasly awww thanks lils!! i learnt from the queen herself 😉 a shopping date is a need !!

alexalbonfans yn calling lily “lils” my heart 🥹❤️

charles_leclerc 10/10 for the maranello tour

yngasly how are you so sure

charles_leclerc what is your rating then ?

yngasly tour is a 10 but the the tour guide……

carlossainz55 i was so much better

charles_leclerc not trueee

yngasly he made me coffee !!! thats like +10 points

charles_leclerc 😧

yngaslyfans OMG this comment section is getting me pumped for the rest of the season!! cant wait for all the potential dates yn has !! im so excited!!!

emmainmilan this is just a phase. you dont even know the real yn! if you knew her, you would make sure these people dont mix around with her.

yngaslyfans no one asked mate

emmainmilan its just a friendly heads up. i know the real yn, to her this is just a game. when she has got what she wants she will bring them down instantly.

emmainmilan i was one of her closest friends and let me just say she is a real piece of work.

username7 pls i agree, i heard from a friend that yn is such a brat! im amazed her family took her back after all she did

user6 spill what happened

emmainmilan when she moved with her family to italy, it was all great until the passing of AH. she became a wrecking ball after that, she partied all night, skipped school, and did all sorts of nonsense. pierre and her got into many fights and it got to a point they didn’t talk anymore! she would come home black out drunk and she got into many fights in public too. her family kicked her out and she ended up staying with me. after that she dropped out of school and lived off the money in her trust fund.

user6 WTF i can’t believe i looked up to her

emmainmilan it gets worst, one night she got so drunk she got into a fight with a stranger and ended up in the police station, her parents were called and they had to bail her out ! thats the first time they heard from her since she left their family house 1 year before that. man she begged her mum and dad to take her back. and i honestly can’t believe how her mother took her back.

user5 if that was my daughter, i would have left her to rot in the cell. she deserves it.

emmainmilan same! after her parents took her back, she dropped me like a fly and never looked back! honestly she thinks that she can just forget all this but hell nah im not going to allow that.

yngaslyfans PLS STOP! this isnt your story to share ! its hers!

emmainmilan pls i suggest you find a better person to be a fan of, yn gasly is just an entitled brat!!

yngaslyfc Hey Yn!! if you read this, please know that we still love you so much!! and if this is all true, we are proud that you got better !! dont let these nobodies bring you down❤️❤️❤️

liked by yngaslyfans and 69 others

username8 what a suck up!! she doesn’t deserve it

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26 March 2023

charles_leclerc

Maranello

liked by yngasly, carlossainz55 and 1, 893, 727 others

charles_leclerc Maranello Tour ‘23 🏎️

yngasly thanks for the tour! got to admit i really liked it 😍

charles_leclerc happy to hear that! what was the best thing ?

yngasly well carlos was amazing and i really liked the coffee and merch! im ready for australia now 😃

charles_leclerc and me ?

yngasly you could learn how to make coffee ?

carlossainz55 give it up charles, she is a chilli fan 🌶️

charles_leclerc 😞☹️

yngasly omg i love both ferrari drivers equally !

sharl when will it be me !!!!!

f1fans charles and carlos need a better friend to be honest. just stick with pierre.

liked by 3789 others

scuderiaferrari thank you for visiting us Yn !! Come back soon! We love hanging out with you ❤️

yngasly Thank you @scuderiaferrari definitely loved hanging with you too ❤️

alpinef1team stop stealing our Yn ✋🏼

yngasly no need to fight, @alpinef1team you will always have me 😉

comments have been limited

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27 March 2023

yngasly posted on their story

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27 March 2023

carlossainz55 have posted on their story

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taglist: @fangirlika @threedalla @sticksdoesart @ophcelia @gothicwidowsworld @nmw-am @h0e-xoxo @inthestars-underthesun @tyna-19 @champomiel @pitconfirmbutton @clcspeonies @67-angelofthelordme-67

credits: all pictures are found from pinterest and instagram

a/n: thank you for reading this far !! If you have any suggestions send them to me!! I would love to hear them ◡̈

if you would like to be tagged when new parts are released, drop your usernames in the comments!! 😁

#f1 #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1edits #f1 fandom #pierre gasly #lance stroll #carlos sainz jr #isa hernaez #lily muni he #lando norris #max fewtrell #instagram imagine #insta edit #charles leclerc #formula 1 #daniel ricciardo #carlos sainz #alex albon #fake instagram #gasly family #f1 instagram au #instagram au #f1 instagram #the pitbox crew series #ferrari #f1 fan fic #f1 ig au

[incorrect-riordanverse]

Riordanverse Characters as quotes by people i know have said

dedicated to @lord-of-pterodactyls, i know you asked for friends in particular but i’m broadening it as even people i consider my nemeses (old ass philosophy teacher) are funny

Percy: i truly feel as if nothing will ever incapsulate my being as truly as the singing monsters water wubbox

Annabeth: *screaming from adjoining room* GET LOST APPLE MUSIC PRIVACY

Piper: *in bikini* i don’t like people with big boobs

Jason: *trying to compliment piper* your hair looks like dementia

Leo: *emerging from the stinky depths of his room after being in there for 16 hours straight and no showers with clothes from 5 days ago, red scabs all over his body and lips so dry it looks like a snake shedding its old skin by how crusty it is* guys on a scale from 1 to 10 how sexy do i look rn?

Hazel: *yeets her foot out and jiggles her toes menacingly at people she dislikes as an intimidation tactic because her toes are particularly hideous*

Frank: *after literally being targeted by a racial ‘joke’* worse than that, you white people eat spam

Grover: *pats air purifier* a good trusted friend

Nico: *drifts into hazel’s room* bro i ain’t even gonna lie, the holidays are better than the black plague *leaves room before she can question him further*

Reyna: *sleeptalking* stallion le meghan

Rachel: *pretending her coloured markers are vapes*

Thalia: *pointing at luke* my bro be the victim and the perpetrator

Tyson: *when talking about doing math* all i have are my fingers and a dream

Clarisse: *sees a sick person in bed* you’re looking pretty vulnerable *proceeds to ransack their room and steal their sheets like some gremlin*

Octavian: i am THE riddler *speaks in riddler voice and puts on devious little expression* what is... a curtain?

Will: *sees a dying person and looks pointedly at nico* and thats because they didnt take their cenovis vitamin c

Luke: i am constantly one snap away from either committing homicide or suicide

Apollo: *feeling face after new skincare routine* gosh my face feels as soft as a silicone tit

Meg: *pointing at apollo after redemption arc* YOU WON’T GO TO HEAVEN BECAUSE YOU ARE A COMMUNIST!

Magnus: *eating falafel* this is an orgasmic experience

Samirah: *substituting random words in english for arabic and not realising no one understands what she’s saying*

Alex: *laughing at the death threats she gets online after posting a meme about BTS in the military*

Blitz: *does something naughty* omg sorry im such a libra（＾ν＾）

Hearth: *walks into room* god is dead.

Carter: *walking into sadie’s room visibly upset with a box of cadbury favourites* here take them. if you don’t im going to eat them all. please, dont make me do this

Sadie: take a shit and be late to school or dont take the shit and be on time hell loop

Zia: my top artist on spotify this year will be xi jinping’s wife

Walt: *simply, appreciatively and completely without context* yeah, buddha is a pretty amazing guy

Anubis: i dislike being emo because i can only go as death note characters for halloween

Bast: *absolutely entranced by watching love island uk and is just repeating everything any person says back in a treacherous essex accent*

Bes: *walking into classroom full of young teens with an oversized ‘free james assange’ shirt* today i am a nice, trendy leftist. tomorrow, who knows?

#of course im putting them in the context of riordanverse or else they simply would not make sense otherwise #i have so much quotes that cant apply to these characters because theyre all asian jokes bc me + my fam + my entire friendship group r asian #i had to censor the frank quote too bc what happened was 100x more out of pocket 💀 #riordanverse #incorrect riordanverse #heroes of olympus #the kane chronicles #percy jackson #trials of apollo #magnus chase #annabeth chase #thalia grace #zia rashid #rachel elizabeth dare #piper mclean #leo valdez #nico di angelo #carter kane #sadie kane #jason grace #will solace #samirah al abbas #hazel levesque #lester papadopolous #frank zhang #meg mccaffrey #grover underwood #reyna avila ramirez arellano #bes bast anubis blitz hearthstone apollo octavian tyson #luke castellan walt stone alex fierro clarisse la rue

[samstclair]

Tommy Shelby's Barmaid

Tommy Shelby X Reader

Anonymous Request - 

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night Sammy Sammy yes I am! So check this out - I just saw Oppenheimer and came to the conclusion that I really miss seeing Cillian Murphy's face. So that night I began rewatching Peaky Blinders and am just in awe. So you know the point. I want to be his barmaid. No hate to Grace, love her, but let a girl just imagine. And that's where you come in. So yeah I wanna be his barmaid and sing to him. Maybe we're off to the races? Do your thing or else I'll might do a thing and report your account! :)

Word Count: pretty long

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"And where are we off to, Miss?" 

"One ticket to London, please!" you told the airport cashier, (or whatever they're called I'm not sure tbh), with your gleeful, bimbo smile. "The UK, one, thought. Not the Ohio one! Can't have that happening again!"

The lady didn't respond, she instead gave you a soft customer service fake ass laugh pretending she knew full well what you were talking about and kept her eyes down on the computer, securing that flight. You no longer trusted yourself to use computers or laptops, thanks to those Benadryl pills you used to be addicted to. But now that you were evicted from your New York apartment, you lost those pills in the process, and honestly all of your personal shit, so you've been forced to quit cold turkey and was actually experiencing withdrawals at the very moment. But, you couldn't let anyone know this! You needed to leave America fast. 

"Okay, to confirm your name, Y/L/N, Y/F/N, correct?" 

"Yes, ma'am!" You passed her your credit card and she did her magic, charging you a fuck ton of money!

The printer pooped out your ticket and she passed both that and your card back to you. 

"Enjoy your flight. Safe travels," the lady wished you. 

"Oh my god, girl, you too!" you wished back. You turned around and found your terminal, buying an expensive Starbucks drink of your choice and plopping your big butt down on a chair. You sat and looked around, sipping your coffee like a mother, taking in your surroundings of this little JFK airport they got going on. 

"I'm really a world traveler right now...like, I'm on some Lewis and Clark shit right now," you thought to yourself. 

You looked down at your luggages, or perhaps, just luggage. All that remained after your eviction just filled one Hello Kitty-themed suitcase you bought from TJ Maxx. You also had your rare vintage Juicy Couture purse you bought from Depop, thats faux leather was literally peeling off like dead skin, filled with all your essentials - lip gloss, nearly dead Elf Bar, crumpled up two-year-Goodwill old receipts, wired headphones because that's what cool people use walking down the street, crystals, loose hair ties, a baby Calico Critter, wire-exposed phone charger, and more that aren't too important to mention. You did miss all your other knick knacks and items that were lost, but since you were traveling light you 1. saved more money since it was just carry-on and 2. looked mysterious, just a girl on the road on her own adventure. 

"After all, items are just like - items. Things." you thought, trying to convince yourself that all material items are just not real and people don't really need those things. This is what you repeated to yourself over and over but in all honesty it wasn't helping. You were fucking pissed you lost all your shit. 

With all your items was your go-to airport fit - a Juicy baby blue tracksuit. So now you resorted to old PJ's you had shoved to the bottom depths of your drawer, wrinkled to the house boots down and forgotten of existence. They were a pair of Nike shorts and a baby tee that read "I <3 Surfer Boys". You then looked down to your white Crocs with the knock-off Jibblitz - the ootd would just have to do. 

As you sat in your terminal, waiting, you thought about what adventures UK would bring to you. You wondered what people you'd encounter, what new storylines you'd get wrapped into, what NPCs would say to you - it really did feel like you were fast-traveling into another country in a video game. 

Safe to say, you were ready for liftoff! Whenever that liftoff! would be because your flight was delayed like three times cause that's just airport things! This was the start of a new adventure! New and humble beginnings! No more America and their never-ending obsession with you committing financial fraud or whatever the IRS loved to say! But never mind that don't ask don't PUSH!!!!!!

Some hours later, you were finally able to board your flight. By this time, let's just say - people were fucking pissed about their flight being delayed, but you didn't really mind it. Yes, you were in a big time rush to leave America as soon as possible, but all that time waiting allowed you to finish the only downloaded show on your phone: LPS Popular. Shit was finally getting heated, Savannah Reed was def the no nonsense type of girl you envisioned yourself to be. 

Anyway whatever you boarded on, took your window seat and went through the usual bullshit of waiting for everyone to board on and take off and turbulence and random ass baby crying and shitty food and whatever. 

About a half hour in the sky, you looked through the catalogue of movies available - none which caught your interest. 

However, after scrolling for another half hour - you found the one. 

"Oh my god, a movie about two lovers flying in the sky staring Cillian Murphy and Rachel McAdams?!" you thought excitedly. "That's some good shit right there."

You hit that play button, scooted deeper into that seat, propped your patas up, and was subsequently locked IN for the short ass movie Red Eye. 

The majority of the plot went over your head because you were to entranced with the Irish actor's cunty little face, sassy little attitude and blue big orbs for eyes, causing you to replay certain scenes over and over. (Specifically that bathroom scene. You didn't miss SHIT there). That hour and a half passed by and the movie had finished. Safe to say, you were NOT expecting any of that shit to go down.

"If that were me, I'd call that fucking hotel before he even told me to. Shit. I get Mark Wahlberg, if I was on that plane, things really would have gone differently," you thought, shaking your head. ]

After your almost seven hour flight, you had finally made it to London Town. It was indeed a stormy day, he was right, but you could go outside and roam around, contrary to popular belief. In order to prep for this trip, you stuck to just watching British films, trying to get an overall vibe of what those little redcoats were like. Pride and Prejudice (2005), Love Actually, Trainspotting, Little Women (Greta's version), Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon - let's just say, your Letterboxd was going crazy. You sobbed pretty disgustingly to all of them, except Trainspotting and Clockwork, which made you feel just icky. And Barry Lyndon just made you angry fuck that guy fr. 

A/N - I just realized that Little Women, both Greta's version and the older 90s Winona Ryder one take place, in FACT, America. Oops! So yeah disregard move on u horndog <3

You once thought you were well-rounded on what chaos was, after all, you've been 1. in theater school, 2. briefly in the Medellin cartel, 3. worked in corporate America - but all of those experiences looked like fun Sunday pastimes the moment you stepped your fat butt off of the plane into London's Heathrow airport. Nothing could've prepped you for this shit. Too many people all doing different things in different directions was NOT your favorite place to be in! Let's just say - shit was hectic. 

You boarded off, left your terminal and gathered your one Hello Kitty-themed suitcase and bolted the fuck out, running at your highest speed possibly, your Crocs locked in their sports mode, you just ran. It's what you did best, your superpower some might say. Maybe since Ezra Miller is canceled for being a kidnapper, you could possibly replace the Flash? Who knows tbh. 

You ran so fast, miles and miles, (kilometers here!), you didn't realize you were now standing in front of the Big Ben. It was, admittedly, pretty big. Too bad you couldn't read time like that. 

You looked down to your phone to see your receipt - you needed to be back in three hours for your next flight to Glasgow, Scotland - your actual destination. This London shit? Yeah it was only a layover. But you couldn't miss it. 

You ended up missing it. You fell asleep on the big red bus, thinking you could sneak a little tour in before having to return for your next flight. By the time you woke up, it was morning, and you were alone, just you and your carry on. 

"Ello Miss? Miss?" 

Your eyes fluttered, adjusting to the brightness. A big English dude with missing and fucked up teeth was poking you awake. 

"Bro what?" you muttered, pushing yourself up. 

"Miss, it seems you've drifted off to sleep," the man said.

"Wait," you collected your thoughts, looked around at your surroundings, then down to your phone - your flight was seven hours ago. You felt your heart fall to the acidic pits of your stomach - 

"Ain't no fucking way I'm stuck in London", you blurted out.  "AIN'T NO FUCKING WAY!"

As if you took ten shots of DayQuil, you jumped up, scrambled for your shit and rocked the bus side to side as your Crocs took you across it, out to the exit and back onto the cobblestone streets of London Town. It was cloudy as always. 

"Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh no. NO I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T!" you yelled, running back towards the direction of that hell of an airport. You needed to get back. You NEEDED to get back to Scotland, you literally saw Trainspotting just for Scotland!

But alas, it was too late. By the time you made it back to Heathrow, there was no refunding. You would have to pay another fat BUCK to get on another flight. 

"Oh fuck that," you told the English lady. You walked back out, no way this little kingdom was gonna make a profit off of your ass. "I'd rather walk!"

And then you began to walk. Not run, you were a little hungry and needed some energy for that amount of dedication. 

You stopped by a tea place and thought that you might as well have a crumpet or whatever, which sucked ass. They charged so much for what?  A pastry with like three grams of sugar? Girl bye. 

You sat on the curb, looking down at your phone and opening a map, you could literally just walk to Scotland. Yeah it'd be a pretty fat walk, but you might get a crazy BBL ass for free from all the walking. 

"Babes? Are you alroight?" you heard a strong British voice call. You turned and there it was - a chav. A real fucking chav. 

"Oh my god, you guys exist?"

She furrowed her dark over-filled brows as she smacked her nude-lipsticked lips on a piece of gum. There were other chavs behind her, all bleach blonde, overly tan and red ass cheeks. It was like your friend group, but in an alternate universe. 

"Wot?" she asked again, more confused than offended. 

"Listen girl, I don't know if you can tell - but I'm not from here. I need to get to from the UK to Scotland. How does a girl like me do that?"

"Babes? Yor in the UKay, loike, this is London?"

"Huh?" you asked, like Trisha Paytas in the car. 

"Babes," another chimed in, "the UKay is loike, mooltiple places poot into one? Loike, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales -"

"Oh, so they're all like, the same?"

Their faces dropped with fear. 

"Babes, don't say that. I've just met you, but I'd definitely tell you loike, don't say that around other peepol," the main chav warned. 

"Especially the Irish, yeah," another said. "They'd be mentool."

"Oh, no worries here. I'm an ally to all," you assured, "so do you know where I can rest for the night?"

"Babes!" the chav said excitedly, "I've got family in Birmingham! It's up norf, already on the way for yor travels! I'll text me nana so you can stay there fo free!"

"Babes," you said, you're cheap frugal ass getting hyped, "you're such a babe! Thanks girlie!"

You ended up dropping some money to take an Underground from London to Birmingham, because you then really realized your Crocs could only momentarily take you so far. Also, tat withdrawal wasn't doing you any favors. Anyway you enjoyed the ride, drinking some complimentary tea with your headphones in and disassociating as you looked out the window into the cement walls. You started to regret not bringing some sort of sweater because who would've thought a baby tee and Nike shorts would be enough. Shit was chilly. 

You stepped off into the platform, feeling a strong GUST of wind rush past you. You first kinda enjoyed it like it was some sort of main character moment, but the moment that ghastly smell of smoke hit your nostrils - you went frozen like Mitch McConnell. 

"Jeeeeeesus CHRIST!" you bellowed, "who fucking farted?"

You looked around, but soon became even more confused. Everyone was giving you the hardest stares you've ever received in your lifetime. But it wasn't their stares, no, you've been stared at before for worst things, it was cause of their - fits. 

Everyone was dressed like some 1900s shit. It reminded you of the show Downton Abbey, the show your old boss Logan Roy used to binge. Little particles of what looked like dandruff floated around you and everything else just seemed gray. 

"Wait, are you guys filming?" you asked in your bimbo self, smiling, "did I just walk onto set?"

No one replied. They really thought you were insane. There you were - rough looking, mid-withdrawal, I <3 Surfer Boys, old high school Nike shorts, Crocs, Five Below socks, Dollar Store sunnies, Hello Kitty-themed suitcase and Juicy bag, Elf bar in one hand and your phone with dangling earbuds wrapped around it. They were petrified. 

You grew angry. You just stood there as they stood there too - both you and the Downton Abbey cosplayers were in a stand off.  

"Okay whatever," you said, rolling your eyes. "Stay hating!"

You whipped around and began walking down the pavement, calling, or as the English say "ringing", that chav's nana. However, it rang and rang, you dialed and dialed, the lady was not picking up. 

"Um, what the fuck?" you said looking down at your phone, "can this girl pick up?"

You continued to dial, your other hand to your waist like a Karen. You continued to look around as it rang, really impressed with the set. 

It had been very foggy, and the cobblestone roads led down between old brick buildings where people in their 1920's costumes walked along, smoking and dodging the occasional explosion from the coal-burning coming from inside the buildings. Horses were trotting, carrying hay and other shit. People were yelling in their crazy accents and the dandruff kept raining down. Pillars up in the sky let out dark clouds of smoke. That gross exhaust smell still lingered, and no matter how much Nicki Minaj body spray you put on yourself, there was no way to mask it. 

"Great. I'm homeless AGAIN!" you thought, giving up on that nana. "Whatever. I didn't even want a roof to sleep under anyway. C'est la vie honestly."

The stares did not cease. In fact, it got worse. You knew you were hot but like what the fuck can't a girl just walk and bitches mind their business?

Things were getting worse. The cobblestone ass road made it hard for you to pull your suitcase, so you were just essentially dragging it, you phone was on ten percent, you were hungry and thirsty because let's be real you did not eat much on that train, and honestly just over it. 

You passed all the workers, dodged some random explosions, evaded random running children, spit some of that dandruff out of your mouth. Safe to say, you were angry but needed to persevere!

Eventually it was nighttime. You couldn't really tell if it was night or if it was just the pollution in the air at first, but after asking a random man he assured you it was indeed nighttime. 

"I don't know how you guys live with all this dandruff," you told him, shaking your head. "You guys must be getting paid good as extras."

"Dandruff?" the man said, "that's ash, luv!"

"Thank god, that makes more sense. I was thinking I was gonna need to buy some Heads and Shoulders. I hate Heads and Shoulders."

He continued to look at you weird while he smoke his, what you were pretty sure in the span of you two talking, sixth cigarette. "Heads and shoulders? Fuck are they to do with your hair?"

"I know, horrible branding. I feel bad for the people in Pompeii. They probably thought it was like, a dandruff epidemic."

Eventually the man directed you to the Garrison, which was supposed to be this pub or whatever that all the locals hit up. You really just wanted a drink of water and like Taco Bell or something. Maybe a "Macky D's"? By the time you made it to the establishment, it was midnight, since you took forever cause you kept getting lost. 

It was situated in a weird spot, where several men would occasionally run out and throw up bad on the dirt floor. It sounded hella noisy and rough in there, which was something you were not looking forward to. But again, you're hungry. 

"I'm fucking starving," you thought to yourself as you pushed those heavy doors open, your suitcase getting caught in them. A surge of anger caused you to yank it past the swinging door, causing the it to slam against the wall and crack the glass. You got scared cause you didn't wanna pay for it, so you applied the "hear nothing, see nothing" tactic. It always worked <3

Nothing could've prepared you for when you entered. The energy was just not it. Heathrow vibes for sure. Hoards of drunk ass English men doing, well, things that drunk English men do. They were yelling, cursing, fighting, just being overall very annoying and overwhelming. It took you by surprise, you were just in awe that English were real. It was literally like a Call of Duty lobby but the English colonized it as they always do.  

"These motherfuckers are crazy bro," you thought to yourself, getting a seat at the bar. The bartender made his way to you, and after some hesitation on his end, he finally spoke. 

"Em, what can I get you, ma'am?" he asked, looking at you confused. 

"Y'all got a menu?" 

"I'm sorry?"

"Food, bro. I want food." You were not having it. 

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid there's just drinks here."

"Fine, fucking alcoholics," you said, holding in your hangriness, "what about water?"

"Huh," he thought, "no one ever asks for water. I forgot we served it!"

He turned around and as he began to pour some crusty water into a dusty glass, you felt a tap on your shoulder. But before you could even turn to ask what the fuck whoever wanted what, another big burly English drunk dude was all up in your face. 

"ELLO MISS! MIGHT I HAVE A CHANCE AT BUYIN' YA A DRINK?"

You were flabbergasted. Dude REEKED of some ale. 

"Uh, you stink," was all you could muster, pressing your fingers on your nose. 

His face fell into a very angry one. "YOU FOOCKIN' JEZEBEL!"

You weren't sure what 'jezebel' meant so you just rolled your eyes and turned back to the new glass of water placed in front of you by the bartender, and before he could walk off you downed the entire thing. He, too, like McConnell, was frozen at your abilities. 

"Sorry about that man, Miss," the bartender said as he poured you another. "You're very pretty. Must be getting used to it by now around here."

"Yeah, like, about that," you started, taking your time with the water this time because you didn't know how much they had left in this place, "why is everyone cosplaying? Like, people here are DEEP into their character, which, don't get me wrong - I respect. I used to be a theater major myself, so I get it. But this is like, crazy. I know the English love their theater, but god."

The bartender, with a hypothetical gun to his head, could not for the life of him understand what the fuck you meant. You kinda got that vibe when he didn't reply right away. He actually looked worried for your mental wellbeing. 

"Um, why did you just like, disassociate?" you asked. 

"I'm sorry, Miss," he chuckled nervously, "you've just confused me, is all."

"Yeah, all that alcohol is giving you that early onset dementia. Do you know where I can get food around here?"

"Hmm," he thought, "I don't really know, to be honest with ya. And it's quite late, so I'm not sure what's open."

You could cry. You hated being hungry and tired at the same time, added to literally everything else that was happening around you. You were able to tune out the drunken men yelling behind you, but only to a point - mama was close to blowing. 

"Oh my GOD," you started. "WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO TO GET SOME FUCKING FOOD AROUND HERE?!" you caught yourself. The bartender was growing more concerned. "I'm sorry," you cleared your voice, "it's just like, your queen for real sucked."

"Queen?" he asked. 

"Wow, you're really dedicated to the craft. Like I said, I respect." You continued to drink your water. 

"How'd you end up here in London, anyway?" he asked, leaning against the counter. You later found out his name was Harry, like Styles. 

"Oh, buddy," you said, "what a story I have for you."

You then began to blabber on about what brought you to this point, which helped because it made you forget about your current grievances. Soon, the entire pub went dead quiet, tuned in to your story time. You felt like Tana Mongeau, and these were your viewers. You get why the majority of YouTubers were lowkey conceited. (Not Tana though she's funny love you girl <3). It was like a big kindergarten story time. 

About half an hour later, you were mid-way through. 

"And so, when my boss literally fucking died, I was like, 'oh shit, I've like lost my job by like, proxy'? It was scary."

"How'd he pass?" one of the drunk men asked. 

"Dude, get this. He died getting his phone out of the toilet. Like, some Elvis shit," realizing they wouldn't get what you just said, you thought it best to move right on, "anyway, I was like, 'maybe this is a good time to move on, maybe America isn't the place for me.' I was also wanted by the Men in Black, too. They don't fuck around."

"Who's the Men in Black?" Harry asked. 

"The IRA were after ya?" another asked, in shock.

"I. R.S. It's not important. So, after he died, one of his kids had to be chosen to take over the company. Imagine like a Game of Thrones sort of thing. My on-and-off boyfriend, Kendall, is the oldest so you'd think it'd be him, right? Like, his name was underlined and everything. Or crossed out, you know, is the dress blue and black or white and gold? The day of, I snuck into the building for the board meeting. I wasn't supposed to be there, cause you know, I'm not a share holder or whatever, but I thought 'if I act like nothing happened, maybe technically I'm NOT fired cause my boss died, maybe nobody will say anything?' Confidence takes you a loooong way let me tell you! So at the board meeting, I voted Kendall, but his stupid home alone ass brother Roman was like 'oh YOU'RE still here?'. Then he told me to fuck off and that I should've died with Logan? Could you believe that?"

They were all in shock, muttering angry English curse words to each other. 

"And then I was like, 'no fuck you. What ever happened to democracy? I don't have a vote?'. But whatever, Kendall didn't win and he left the building. No, Horton Hears a Who Tom won, and while everybody was celebrating I was like, 'guys? GUYS! ALL EYES ON WINDOWS! WHERE DID KENDALL GO? All eyes on windows!'. Then I got like, kicked out or whatever. I kept spamming Kendall, texting him and calling him and nothing. Like 'Kenny, wya???'. He was ghosting me. Then I saw right after he put his phone on Do Not Disturb. Targeted, really. I saw his location at Central Park, facing the water, and this had me WORRIED. Kendall and bodies of water? Yeah they don't mix well. I needed to talk to him before he jumped! But when I got there, his new dumbass body guard was like, 'Can you leave? He's not seeing anyone'. I kept calling him, and he wouldn't turn to look at me. He was like, mega dissociating watching that horizon."

"Must've killed him that he's no longer the number one boy," a drunken English man said, somber. 

"Def," you said.

"So you and Kendall?" another asked.

"No more. He never picked up, so I thought we were done," the men in the bar were devastated. "Yeah, really sad. I already mourned, though. So, yeah, I was like, 'what do I do now?' Logan gave me some money, so I can really just do anything? I was walking down the streets of New York and saw a random man in a suit I thought was the IRS, and it hit me - I'm lowkey a fugitive? I need to like, leave. Logan isn't there to protect me anymore, you know? And then it hit me - I'll go to Scotland! In Logan's honor! Like, his hometown. Plus, I thought Scotland didn't have extradition, but it was actually Venezuela. But it's okay, same shit. And that's why I'm here."

"But this is Birmingham?" another man said. 

"Oh, yeah, don't worry I fully aware. But yeah, that's it."

Again, the pub had been silent. They'd been intrigued, captivated. You waited for someone to speak up and break the silence, but about two minutes later you realized that wasn't gonna happen. 

"Okay? Anyway, so nothing to eat here?" you asked Harry. 

He shook his head, stunned. You then slowly crept off the chair, gathered your shit and saw your way out. "Weirdos," you thought. 

You exited back out, it was now fully dark with few lampposts shining light onto the falling dandruff. It all reminded you of exactly where you were - stuck. 

You slumped against the wall, onto the ground where you didn't see any of the mud that splashed all over your shorts. You were too tired and over it to give a fuck. You pulled out your phone, and saw the battery on 2%. 

"Man FUCK!" you exclaimed, "I know damn well none of these Lin Manuel Miranda stans built an electric socket." 

You went on to scroll mindlessly through your feed, which barely loaded because of the lack of signal. You were in the middle of spamming the refresh button until you received a notification from Snapchat that read, "One Year Ago Today". You clicked it open, forgetting you still had that app downloaded, and its contents nearly pushed you over the edge to start balling. 

You clicked play. 

"Oh, don't be a pussy, Greggguh!"

"Mumusdsfjks," Greg said, shoving more marshmallows into his mouth, "Chubb Bunif."

"Sorry, buddy, couldn't hear you!" Tom said, giddy, shoving his own marshmallow down Greg's mouth.

"You got it Greg!" you heard yourself say. 

You wanted to cry. You wished you could just go back to Waystar in that moment, playing the Chubby Bunny challenge with gay lovers Tom and Greg. 

"Man, I miss them," you thought. But alas, that was all gone now...

You quickly closed the video, going to your bank app to see how much money remained. After all, Logan DID leave you with enough, but you couldn't help yourself on those McDonald's breakfast orders through Uber Eats.  

Your tears quickly evaporated like they were put through the snap of Thanos when you got a glance of your credit score though. Oh no. 

"OH MY GOD?!??! MY CREDIT IS AT 400????!!? I'M LIKE, FUCKED?!???!"

"What's a credit score?"

You nearly shit yourself at the deep, sullen voice. You looked up and let's just say - you were intimidated. It's the terrorist dude from Red Eye. He wore a flat cap and a tweed little suit type of fit. 

But it wasn't the tweed that had you transfixed - no, it was those eyes....they were familiar. The last time you felt power of being in a trance like that were those Furbies... it forced you to look at them, you had lost all ability of self-control. They made you question yourself, your purpose and whole life being. They were commanding you with their uncanny valley vibe. Their immense gravity caused all time to slow...

"Dude, put those away!" you yelled, forcing your eyes shut and looking away. 

He didn't reply. 

"I'm sorry," you giggled, realizing he wasn't gonna reply to you and instead just stood there. "I'm just really hungry. You got anything?"

He thought for a moment. "Actually...we don't eat." He had a little sassy, matter-of-factly tone of speaking you fucked with heavily. 

"Yeah, that's why your official dish is tikka masala," a glance of that dish popped into your head. "Man I could fuck that up right now."

"I can take you to my office, I might have something there," he said. You agreed right after, anything would have to do. Little did you know, this would be the man who would save you. Not in a self-fulfilling sense but he'd grab you something to eat. 

You two made it to his office, some ways away. It was just a big ass dark room with tables in the middle, which you would later find out the betting on his horse racing took place. 

You sat down and he took off his coat and goofy ass hat, then went to the back for a moment. You looked around, you felt like you were in a dungeon. You looked down to your phone - shit was dead. 

He came back moments later, with a single loaf of bread he placed in front of you. He then took a seat across from you, took out a cigarette and did what the English do best, smoke. 

You were a bit taken aback, and it definitely showed, since his little sassy face got more sassier. 

"Well?" he bellowed, motioning to the food.

"Honestly," you started, not wanting to offend cause he did scare you (in a hot way), "I don't know what more I was expecting. I know Panera bread when I see it."

You began to eat, he just watched you. You would be annoyed had this been anyone else, but man was too fine. 

Some minutes went by, and he just smoked while you ate. He was definitely a man of few words. 

"You're so mysterious," you said. "Is that your character?"

He took in a big puff and put his feet up on the table like he owned the place, cause he literally did. "You don't belong here."

"Yeah, no fucking shit. I'm supposed to be in Scotland."

"What's in Scotland?" he asked, tapping his cigarette into an empty whiskey glass. 

"Bagpipes, I've heard."

He then leaned to the side, grabbing his cigarette case out and offering you one. You declined. 

"It's okay, I don't like cigarettes. They're gross," you went inside your bag and pulled out your crusty geriatric Elf Bar that was on life support, "here, try this! She's my sidekick!"

He stared at it, not a thought behind those eyes. He then rose up. 

"What about a whiskey, eh?" He went to a table against the wall and poured two glasses. You shrugged at his decline of your Elf Bar, and took some shitty hits cause girl it's dead give it up. 

As he had his back to you pouring the glasses, you really thought about how manly he was, in a way all those Ryan Gosling Drive stans love. He reminded you of those mafia boss fanfics you used to read. The way he spoke was so low and serious, but it made your feet rock like crazy!

He turned back around and placed your glass in front of you. Before he sat, he took a swing of his and literally drank it all in one shot like an animal. Wanting to impress him, you did the same, but soon regretted it right after. You'd tried whiskey before, but that was just not good. It was so strong it burned your esophagus, causing you to feel like you had strep throat all over again. You nearly gagged and threw it up but you couldn't let Tommy see you that way. He was staring. 

"Jesus Christ," you said in a raspy, chain smoker voice, trying to smile through the pain, "that's some real shit right there. I'd much prefer a BuzzBall."

"What brings you to the UK?" he asked again, a little more interrogating. 

"Fine. I'm avoiding parole."

"Parole?"

"Have you ever been on parole?" you asked. 

He took a moment, your question hit hard. "Ever since men like me got back from France, we've always felt we were on parole under the king." He had a sadness to it, which then made you kinda sad. 

"Aww, you're a parole baby <3."

He rose his brows in a "yeah this girl off it" way. 

"Does France give you bad memories?" you asked, wanting to know both out of being a nosy bitch and seeing if you could break him. 

"Most nights," he said. 

"Don't worry, me too."

"You served?"

"I might has well have," you replied, thinking of that past life living with your old boyfriend. 

"I wasn't aware women served."

"We always do," you assured. You kept looking into his eyes like it was a staring contest. 

"What's it you're looking at?"

"You have a very, no-nonsense cunty face. Like BBL," you first smiled telling him that, but it then reminded you of when you told your old boyfriend Kendall the same thing. The thought of him made you sad, you wondered where your number one boy was now...

You didn't realize but Tommy noticed your change in demeanor, initially believing you were thinking about your time during the war in France. He rose and grabbed another drink, placing one in front of you as he killed his in less than a second. 

You snapped out of your sadness. "Oh, no thanks. I don't think I can have anymore. This trip will definitely be very detoxing for me."

You two then sat in comfortable silence for some time, as if you two were both mourning after the innocence lost before France. You were something different for him, a new comfort he couldn't find much else in that polluted ass city. And you found comfort in him, he really did seem like he needed fixing. But that's not what you do, no no, he's a grown ass man and can fix himself. You'll just watch from the sidelines <3. 

Eventually, you stayed in Birmingham. Once you were aware that your money had no value in the UK, you realized you needed to be employed again to save up for Scotland. Dollars, turns out, did not equal shillings and pounds or whatever. Tommy hooked you up after finding out your situation and generously gave you a job at the Garrison as a barmaid, along with Harry, who in time, became your BFF. It wasn't that hard of a job, these men never mixed any drinks and would instead have their alcohol straight like a bunch of monsters, so you kinda ate at this job. Another perk was that these 1920s bitches loved thin eyebrows, so your Y2K overplucked eyebrows fit right in! Full circle shit!

But perhaps the best perk was when Tommy would come in every so often and give you a little LOOK. Oh that shit made you rabid yes it did! It made you all hot down there and you couldn't handle it! You two barely spoke, as he would go into the side room for meetings and whatever mumbo jumbo he got up to with his brothers, but when you did you did your best to bring out that old femme fatale. You knew damn well he'd fuck that shit up. And let's be real so did you. 

You knew that you had Tommy in your CLUTCH when he was once lecturing you - basically there was talk about some Billy Kimber dude amongst him and his brothers and the members of the gang, but you couldn't get past how fun it was to say the man's name, especially in their wild ass accent. You kept incessantly shouting it, to what you thought was a joke, "BILLY FACKIN KIMBA" in every possible moment you could, but it would send all the men into a paranoid shock thinking Billy boy was just around the corner. Obviously, he wasn't, in fact you couldn't point out who Billy Kimber was in a crowd of English, but let's just say - it sent them for a sheer panic. They would constantly tell Tommy to get you to stop, since it was bringing back war trauma basically and never felt fear like that since the war. You personally thought they were being a bunch of pussies but whatevs. 

Anyway Tommy found you at the bar after closing and wanted to have a serious talk with you - no more random BILLY FACKIN KIMBA. As he was lecturing you on the dangers of it, you actually started to disassociate in those eyes of his. You then started to think, 

"What if I just grabbed his hat?"

Those intrusive thoughts grew stronger and stronger as the moments flew by and the more his voice became a bunch of muffled nothing. And they won. 

"GOTCHA HAT!" you spat before taking his flat cap off and running with it, jumping over the bar on some parkour shit and pushing those doors open onto the grimy streets of Birmingham, in an excited manic.  You ran for nothing, since you didn't notice in the adrenaline of it all he didn't move an inch and instead just stood at the bar, stumped. From that point on, he knew you weren't like other girls. Cause let's be real who in their right fucking mind would do that to Tommy Shelby? You did girl xoxo <3

But when your image with Tommy REALLY hit home for the guy, it was one night. One very special night...

You were working the night shift at the Garrison, again. It was another rainy day in London Town, and you were all alone cleaning up. You started to think about Gabbie Hanna, and how low key right she was. You continued to rap to yourself, 

"♪ Overwhelmed, overworked, overpaid. I'm on top of the world sitting pretty ♪ -" 

The doors flew open, causing you to jump pretty high up. You looked to the entrance, it was Tommy. And man was drenched and tired looking, your fave combo. 

He walked over, behind the bar and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He was always a little emo and to himself, but something about him now was really depressing, like man's definitely going through it.

He then took a seat at a table, and looked at you with dead eyes. 

"What's with the frown?" you asked, trying to lighten up the mood but was severely unsuccessful. (Unbeknownst to you he literally just had to put down a horse he thought was cursed :/ it's a canon event!)

He didn't reply. Surprise surprise instead he just drank his whiskey done. You chewed your gum, clueless. 

You just continued to clean, continuing Gabbie's rhyme in your head. 

"♪ Overwhelmed, overwork, underpaid ♪ -"

"Can you sing?"

You turned around again. He fr sounded sad asf. It shocked you, cause did he like, read your mind or sum? 

"Uh, yeah. You want me to sing?"

"Every barmaid knows how to sing."

"Okay, sure. Like acapella?"

He just stared at you, lost again with your mumbo jumbo. 

"Well, I know Lana, I know Nicki, my ex had a song L to the OG-"

"Lana. She sounds nice."

You nodded. "She really is, I love her. Okay, I think I know a song."

"Stand up there," he pointed to a table. You were a bit hesitant, the last time you did that you ate shit like that one girl on YouTube who was also singing on a table and ate shit. But it was for Tommy so you did so anyway. 

You climbed up, took out your gum, flicked it in a bucket, cleared your throat, moved your hair out of your face, and fixed your posture - this was your Pose moment tonight, and Tommy's Billy Porter. 

You then started to sing White Mustang by Lana, but the moment you got to the chorus, which was, well, White Mustang, he told you to stop. 

"Something else, please," he asked demanding yet softly.

"What? Too close to home? Don't worry, Lana does that," you assured, "here, I'll sing a song that hits close to me, it's called How to disappear, it's what do when I'm trying to run from the IRS."

You cleared your throat again and started to sing and girl you ATE THAT SHIT!!!!!

You hit those fucking notes, you were lost in your little own world envisioning yourself in a music video. You understood why America's Got Talent contestants were nervous, cause the pressure? Yeah it's real. And not only is Tommy Billy Porter, he's also Simon Cowell - a yes from that Brit would secure your spot.

Speaking OF Tommy, because momentarily you forgot he was there with you - the man was enthralled, ENCHANTED. He sat silently, the rainwater dripping down his face, as he was taking in every small gesture you made, taking in every musical note that came out of your BBL mouth, (even the voice cracks), and just taking, well, you in. At that very moment, he was in love. YOU were the femme fatale he needed in his life, the one that would complete him, make him feel whole, and would give him purpose. 

Once you were finished, you snapped back into reality and realized you actually weren't in a music video. You looked to Tommy, whose face barely made any other emote other than the one where he looked like he was annoyed, staring up at you. A wave of anxiety flooded over you - you were the center of his world right now, and that pressure was too hot!

You quickly climbed down, and flashed him a big smile. 

"So?" you asked, now LITERALLY feeling more grounded on the ground. 

He didn't respond at first. Moments later, he did. 

"Do you have something nice to wear?"

"Like what?"

"A dress?"

"Um," you thought, trying to remember the contents of your Hello Kitty-themed suitcase, "maybe. Why?"

He rose up, getting ready to leave from the fear and insecurity of the emotions he just experienced. "I want to take you to the races."

"We're gonna race?"

"Horses. Horse races," he corrected you, making his way to the exit. "Be ready by tomorrow, I'll collect you before noon."

"Oh my god, like a date?" you were too slow to come to the conclusion because by that time he'd already left. The excitement quickly mixed in with the anxiety, which wasn't the best feeling in the world. You knew in anticipation for tomorrow you were gonna need SOMETHING to take the edge off, so before closing up you snatched some bottles of alcohol to take to your flat. You weren't really sure what exactly they were, but what you did know was that it was gonna taste like fucking ass. But when mama needs her go go juice, she TAKES her go go juice.

The following morning you woke up at the crack ass of dawn to get ready - you knew you needed TIME. Not that it takes a while for you to get all pretty, girl you're already naturally stunning! but time and place - you needed to stunt today. Also, you already weren't a morning person so you didn't trust yourself to snooze. Actually, you barely slept at all last night since you were too caught up about what makeup you were gonna do, how you were gonna style your hair, what dress to wear and most of all, your ass was just asked out by Tommy. You wondered if this is how nervy the soldiers felt when they encountered bin Laden's bunker. 

You had already finished your makeup and hair, looking pretty snatched. Too bad your phone's been dead for the past couple of weeks and you couldn't take pictures. But anyway you did the usual 1920's makeup tutorial you remember watching on some Buzzfeed video a while ago, pretending you were doing a Vogue makeup tutorial in your mirror and talking step by step your process. You curled your hair into the 1920's bob they were obsessed with back then, packing on an obscene amount of gel just to keep that wave stiff. You struggled but nonetheless you got it girl. 

You were now staring at the remaining contents of your Hello Kitty-themed suitcase - let's just say, you had nothing. That's a lie you did have SOMETHING but was it appropriate for the time? No. Like if you're going to the Renaissance Fair, your ass isn't gonna wear some Skims ass dress. But guess what? That's actually all you had. 

It was a black, tight, spaghetti-strap slip-on dress that was above the knee - definitely NOT the vibe for the era, maybe a bit too revealing? But what other choice do you have? You're I <3 Surfer Boys tee? Exaaaaactly. 

You slipped it on and was taken aback - you know how you forget how good you look when it's been a while since you've dressed up and you actually surprise yourself? Yeah that was you right now. Kim would be proud to see you in that dress, in fact, she'd probably cheer you on to wear it proudly at the races. Even though she wasn't your favorite sister, you imagining her company right now really did help.  

You kept feeling yourself in the mirror - girl you looked GOOD. You put on some black heels, some perfume and that was it - you were simply that bitch now. 

"Oh my god," you thought to yourself, "Tommy's gonna flip. Shit, I'd get with me."

And just like that, you heard the honks of a car coming from outside your flat. You peered through the window, and there you saw some vintage, rinky dink ass car. 

"Oh, fuck!" you shouted, mainly to yourself, but they heard. "Coming!" you called out the window. 

It was actually happening - oh fuck he's here oh yes he is. Quickly, you grabbed one of the bottles you confiscated and took the fattest swig. It was the most horrendous, grotesque warm vodka you've ever consumed. But it would have to do.

You quickly made it downstairs, taking a moment before appearing outside to calm yourself down and make it seem as if you effortlessly just went down some stairs without a care or worry in the world. You made sure to grab a fur coat, faux of course, and your keys. 

Down by the car was Tommy in the driver's seat, with his two brothers, Arthur and John, seated in the back. They all looked at you in awe - they had never seen so much of a woman's legs in their entire life. 

"Bloody foockin' hell, Tommy! What do we have here?!" Arthur exclaimed. 

"Jesus, Tommy," said John, "I didn't think it was bloody possible for you!"

Tommy stared at you for a few seconds longer, a bit taken aback himself. 

Tommy ignored his brothers and exited his side, helping you into the passenger's. You got a whiff of his cologne that brought out an animalistic, innate horndogness of you that you remembered to keep in check. Now was not the time but it was admittedly hard cause the man just looked so good. 

He climbed back into his side, then started driving off, the cobblestone road causing you to feel even more nauseous than you already did. You didn't realize it, but you were mute for the first ten minutes from how disassociated you were. That vodka was hitting deep and swimming in circles in your empty tummy - you hadn't had breakfast, essentially raw dogging and running on nothing, because you knew if you munched on some Panera bread, you would've thrown it up from the nervousness. You were now really accepting the fact that it was a grave mistake. 

"Well, what's wrong with her?" Arthur bellowed, "is her bloody tongue cut off?"

Tommy gave you a quick little side eye, then fully turned to you after realizing you were, indeed, gone. 

"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned with a TOUCH of attitude. Or maybe they were both the same you couldn't differentiate it when it came to Tommy. 

"Uh, yeah," you cleared your throat and sat up straight, "just really taking in the moment, you know? It's my first race."

Tommy turned back to the road. 

"You guys look great!" you complimented, wanting to move on. 

"Why thank you, Miss Y/N. I shall wear your kind words like a medal from tha war," said Arthur. "You look like one of them silent film stars!"

You blushed. "So, wanna listen to some music?" you suggested, hating sitting in quiet cars.

Tommy scrunched his brows. "What do you mean?"

You looked down to where the touchscreen on the car WOULD be, forgetting this car was quite literally just a box on wheels with an engine attached. AUX and Bluetooth are not in the vocabulary of these people's brains for another couple more decades. 

"Like, carpool karaoke," you suggested. 

"What?" John asked. 

"Bloody hell is that?" Arthur also asked. You also forgot, these English men wouldn't face the atrocity that is James Corden in ALSO a couple more decades. 

Tommy scoffed, a small little smile on his face but nonetheless a smile. He gets it. "Singing. She likes to sing."

"Is that right?" smiled Arthur, "wow, you've really done a number on Tommy boy over here! He's now a fan of the musical arts!"

The two brothers began laughing and smacking Tommy on the shoulders and head in a playful, men-in-a-gang, manner. He smirked. 

"I'll start, I have the perfect song - this one's called Off To The Races," you turned to Tommy, "also by Lana."

You two smiled at the little inside joke y'all had going on now. You then started singing, really into it like the night before. You were hitting those "scarlet, starlet" notes a little too good. Once you wrapped up, you left the three men in a silence that lasted for a couple minutes. Except Tommy, he was always silent. But his brothers were a little confused, but decided to just roll with it since you made Tommy happy. You thought they were just floored by your abilities. 

"Lovely," John finally said, hesitant and low to break the silence.  

"You've got yourself a bloody mental one here, Tommy," said Arthur. Tommy smiled, you were indeed a little unwell but it was okay to him. So was he <3

It had been about an hour after your arrival, you had been helping yourself to a shit ton of food by a table, stocking up like a bear ready for hibernation. You were literally the only one there, and you assumed so because the cigarettes and alcohol these Brits were fucking up were acting as appetite suppressants. Your fat ass wasn't complaining. 

Besides being the only one actually eating something of nutritional value, you were getting HEAVY looks and side eyes for your outfit. You didn't care, your ass looked good from all the walking around the pub you've been doing. Upon entering, Tommy noticed the looks to. You whispered in his ear, "it's cause none of these interbred Habsburg jaws know what a real woman a real BITCH looks like 💅." 

He didn't get exactly what you meant, but got the vibe and he liked it. He, actually, loved that you were the center of attention here, as you SHOULD be. Afterwards, he told you he had some business to attend to and knowing you were hungry, led you to the food table. He said he'd get you after he was done, and man was taking his time. But again you didn't care you were just munching away. 

"Try the scone, darling, it's absolutely dashing!" a rich, socialite said to you. Her costume was just as amazing as everyone else. 

"You know, I've been avoiding it but, maybe I will. Why not?" you smiled, grabbing one and taking a chomp. It tasted like actual ass but you have a great poker face. You moaned like Mark Weins, even hitting his crazy facial expressions. "It's great!" you mumbled. She smiled and talked on about something you didn't really pay attention to. 

Eventually, Tommy came up behind you and grabbed your arm gently. Had this been any other man, you would've pistol whipped them in the face with the rock of a scone in your hand, but it was Tommy so you just got all the butterflies inside. You turned and smiled, chewing your food and swallowing it almost hole to say something and not just stand there. 

"Fhey Tomyif," you mumbled through the dry scone. 

"Feeling better, eh?" he said in a low tone. He seem a little more cheery, which made you cheery. He was enjoying himself, as he should. And so were you, as you should. Let's just say, the vibes were good. 

"Omg, def," you said, finally swallowing the last bit of food, "you know, you should try eating something. I know you don't do it much, but, I feel like it can be a great experience for you."

He looked into your eyes. He loved that you cared. A soft smile came on his lips. 

"Not hungry."

You thought for a minute. "But like, I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten since France."

"Maybe later. Do you dance?"

"Do I dance? With a little spicy marg in me, Tommy, it's over." But alas, the bartender would have no clue what a spicy marg was, so you kinda had to retract your statement, "But no yeah I can dance sober too no biggy."

"Good," he said, grabbing your hand gently and leading you to the crowded dance floor. You turned back to wave at the socialite lady, who gave you a little wink. My girl knew you scored. 

All you knew was that the Brits LOVED their Charleston dancing, something that you definitely needed Just Dance to teach you. But she wasn't here. You were frightened at the thought, but when Tommy pulled you in, and you two just started going at it, it was as natural as your BBL ass. That one Pride and Prejudice dancing sequence had you mastered in the art. 

With his hand at your waist and the other in your hand, and your other hand around his neck feeling his buzzcut, there was no force on this earth that could stop you. You honestly just moved your legs around and were great. 

Up close to him, you were again in touch with his cologne. You needed to control yourself, but it didn't help that he was like three inches from your face. In this sea of people, it just felt like you two and no one else. 

As you two were fucking up that dance floor to that 1920s jazz music, you looked around at the other faces of people dancing around you. Some you caught staring, others pretended not to. You smiled at the fact your hot ass was intimidating. 

"Man, if I were to do the Woah here, they'd all lose their fucking minds," you thought. "What if I like, just started twerking? No, I can't. I can't let them win."  You knew those intrusive thoughts cannot get another W against you again. The last time that happened, you were expelled from theater school. You couldn't, you couldn't embarrass Tommy - but the urge was too strong. 

Almost as if Tommy read your mind, he pulled you aside the dance floor. 

"I want to introduce you to someone," he said. He then took you to a table where a man with the craziest middle part and mustache sat, beside another who looked like an owl with glasses and other carbon copies of English dudes. At the table was a fuck ton of coins and money, along with drinks and clouds of cigarette smoke from ashtrays. 

"Y/N, this is Billy Kimber. He owns the tracks here," Tommy said. Oh my god it's him, its Billy fackin Kimba...

You weren't sure why Tommy would introduce you, but you took it as a compliment. Maybe he just wanted to stunt on this guy? Who knows. 

The man with the goofy ass fucking name had a wry grin on his face that you did not like at all. The vibe was not good no more around this guy. He stuck out his hand to you, and you obliged very hesitantly. He grabbed your hand and kissed it. With that a wave of disgust flew over you, feeling as though you've been stained. Ew gross. 

"Lovely ta meet ya," the man said. He rose, "Mista Shelby, might I ask your lady for a dance?" 

"Oh, no thanks! <3" you said, a welcoming smile on your face. Tommy and Billy both looked at you as if you just said the most out of pocket shit. The owl man and English robots also gave you daring looks.

"Wot?" Kimber spat. 

You almost laughed. 

"Uh, yeah like, I don't wanna dance." you said, mimicking Tana Mongeau's "a bleach and tone".

Billy saw absolute red. He was livid. He turned to Tommy, who, too, was speechless. 

"The fuck are you on about?" Billy spat again. You really weren't sure what he didn't understand.  

You then realized - there was no getting out of this. You didn't want to cause a scene, cause you kinda already did. So you again invited those intrusive thoughts. 

"Fine," you said, clearing your throat and standing straight. "I'll dance."

You then pretended to throw something in the air, looking up in an anticipatory, worried way. They all looked up too, confused. 

"Oh my god, do you see it? Mr. Kimber, where is it?!" you said as if a bomb were to fall. 

He looked up and then to you, growing increasingly worried. He was too in shock to speak. 

"Where is it?! Where is it?! Do you see it?!" you kept looking up at basically nothing, but you knew it was something. You kept them on their toes, scared at this point. Your feet dancing softly, they were ready for impact. It was time to come down. "There! There it is and -"

With that, you pulled it down and committed the hardest, most nastiest Woah you've ever done. The last time it was that riveting was during middle school lunches. 

When you brought that down, the pose you ended on had your head down and body limp, as if you were Aang in the Avatar state during the episode where he was fighting Zuko's papa and had to unlock and harness such force.

You left them taken aback, disoriented. They didn't know what to do or how to react. You looked fucking insane. 

You took a deep breath and stood back up straight, satisfied. Once you realized that the room had fallen completely silent, even the musicians, you felt you needed to excuse yourself. 

"Um, so," you struggled to find the words. You felt the anxiety creeping up again, the lightheadedness arising. And most of all, it was time for you to empty yourself. "I've, uh," you thought harder and harder - "I'VE GOT AN ITCHY BUM!"

You split, running and running as fast as your pumps could take you. You ran and ran, it was always the most liberating activity honestly. All that dancing with Tommy, the nerves piled up along with the hors d'oeuvres - they lead to this very moment. 

You searched round and round, desperately for a bathroom. No where in this bitch was there a sign or indication, and time was running slim. This was some real Mission Impossible, Tom Cruise is on a time crunch, shit. You pushed through crowds of drunk, belligerent and yelling people, feeling your body slowly succumb to the intense body heat. 

Eventually, you spotted a familiar face. You ran. 

"Arthur!" you yelled. He spun and looked back to you. 

"Y/N! What is it?" he asked, worried. You looked a bit wild. "Are you alright? Where's Tommy?"

"He's fine, he's," you thought, "somewhere. Look, it doesn't fucking matter."

"The mouth on you -"

"Where the fuck is the bathroom in this bitch? Huh? The loo? The toilet? The washroom whatever the fuck y'all call it?"

"Well, I was on me way. It's just over there -" he pointed and you bolted. 

As you were entering, you literally ran full force into the socialite from earlier. She wasn't angry, just like Arthur, worried. 

"You look absolutely GHASTLY darling!"

"Girl move -"

You went into one of the stalls and laid your worst. Thankfully since it was a Skims dress, all you had to do was pull your Victoria Secret thong off and go. You felt bad for the ladies in their dresses and stockings and shit here - convenience was definitely not a factor yet. 

After you cleared your business, (and subsequently the whole bathroom), you stepped out of your stall, refreshed and effortless. You washed your hands, fixed your hair and makeup just a bit in the mirror, and felt yourself again. You took mental selfies, since it was all you had. 

As you left the bathroom, you heard the grunts and yells of men. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but it sounded like some shit was fr going down. You crept to the source of the noise, coming from the men's bathroom. At first, you thought someone was probably constipated, but instead it was Arthur, John and a few others absolutely rocking this guy's shit. They were beating him, cutting him with the razors sewn into their goofy caps, and curb stomping his head into the sink. So sink stomping? 

You made a gross face and walked back out. "Yeesh."

After all, it wasn't the first time you were so close to the mob.

 You remember your number one golden rule you learned from earlier during your time with Pablo: Hear nothing, see nothing!

After walking past the dance floor again, you were relieved to see that everyone and everything had gone back to normal - people were back to dancing, drinking and chatting - back to the script. You actually forgot this was supposed to be a horse race. 

But, there was no Tommy anywhere. You searched and searched, yet you couldn't find that 75% shaved head anywhere. 

You then walked back outside by the entrance, where you saw a woman smoking. You went up to her. 

"May I bum a smoke?" you asked in your best English accent, trying to speak their language. She turned to you and pulled one out, lighting it for you. "Thank you so much, you look lovely, darling."

The woman smiled. You loved hyping the girls up!

"You too. I must admit, I find your choice in wardrobe absolutely admirable and daring!"

You smiled, "Aww, really?" you quickly corrected your accent, "Oh dear, many thanks, many thanks yes."

You took a hit of that cigarette. Shit was gross. But when in Rome...

You and the woman spoke for some time, deep in conversation. It was refreshing to meet another girl here, safe to just talk shit and have a break from all the drunken men and oh no there's Tommy. 

You saw him approaching you and he looked again, upset and emo. It didn't exactly burst your bubble, you really liked Tommy, but were afraid that you possibly embarrassed him in front of the Bilbo Timberland from earlier. 

You bided the woman goodbye and walked towards Tommy. He then took you two back to his car and started off onto the road. By now, it was nearing evening. The car ride was pretty silent, you were looking out admiring the brief countryside. Shit was beautiful like a Microsoft Home Screen. 

"So, what's wrong?" you asked. "You're like, down in the dumps again. And where are your brothers?"

"They'll find their own way home," Tommy said, low and serious, the usual. 

"So is that it? Y'all got into a fight or something?"

He let out a deep breath. "I told Billy Kimber he could have a dance with you."

"Ew, why?"

"Well," he didn't want to say 'business', cause like okayyyyy shout out to 1920's gender roles!, "because you look...nice. You look pretty."

You blushed hard, trying to control your smile. Seeing this side of Tommy was like a sneak peak, it was so exclusive!

"Oh my god, Tommy, are you flirting with me? I didn't even know you had that setting available!"

He smirked, his frown OFFICIALLY being turned upside down. He chucked in disbelief of himself. He was falling. 

Once you made it back to the neighborhood, the sun had gone down and the streets were once again pretty dark. Smoky depressing England like what the Smiths wrote about you get the vibe. 

Anyway he took you to his flat, saying that he wanted to "show you something". You weren't sure what that something was, it could've honestly been like a dead body but actually it wasn't! It was dinner <3

"I've uh," he started, not crazy about the fact that he was falling for you, "I've prepared dinner."

You gasped and made a very soy ass face. How absolutely gentlemanly of him!

"Oh my god, no you didn't Tommy!" you said, "You're so sweet, that's like, so sweet! You shouldn't have!"

He smiled softly, in a "yeah I did that" sort of way. And he did just that. You were 90% sure whatever was inside he didn't cook, but it's the THOUGHT that counts!

He escorted you inside like the gentlemen he was, shutting the front door behind you two. The lights inside the flat were dim, and by the table were two plates. Upon closer inspection, you were absolutely FLOORED!!!!

"No way - tikka fucking masala?!" you exclaimed. He chuckled and it was hot. 

You walked closer and saw two very familiar, VERY FAMILIAR, colorful orbs. You turned them to the side. All this time since you'd last seen one, you forgot what they were or looked like. 

"AND FUCKING BUZZBALLS?!?!?!" you said. "Tommy, how the fuck did you even get these?"

He pulled the chair out for you, and you scooted your big fat butt in. 

"I know people. It's my job."

You couldn't help but smirk.

"It's so hot when a man has connections," your dirty Jezebel mind thought. 

He cracked the BuzzBalls opened and poured them for each of you, like it was some high end expensive ass champagne. You watched him, relishing in the moment - you had your GRIP on this man. Chivalry was in fact, despite popular belief, not dead. But it was also the 1920s so you forgot about that bit. 

You looked down at your plate - you were going to fuck. this. up. He'd never seen this side of you - the side that would tear your meal like a fucking ape cracking open a coconut with a rock for water. You thought if you should warn him, but told yourself - he needs to know ME for ME. 

You gripped that naan, grabbed a fat ass chunk of that chicken - and the moment it hit your lips, you had started giggling like Mark Weins again but subtract the poker face. You had forgotten the long lost love of spice other than pepper and salt. You could've cried if it hadn't been for the fact your makeup looked too good. 

You two dined and wined (there's no wine) for the next hour, talking and talking and chewing and chewing. Seeing him eat was hard for your mind to process, you just never thought he was capable of it. Anyway as he was talking you felt bad because you were zoning out looking at him as if he was another dish of tikka masala. He had such a sigma vibe to him, maybe alpha? (I don't know I'm not familiar with gym bro brain rot TikTok lingo but you get the vibe.) He was just so manly and yet so gentle and calculating, it kinda scared you because like he could literally have everything set up to kill you right now and you wouldn't know cause you were too charmed. But then you realized, he wouldn't have done all this shit for someone he wanted dead. No girl, he just wanted YOU! Your toes tickled at the thought, and those butterflies? They were fluttering. 

For the first time, you had anxiety but hadn't felt the need to shit yet. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol calming your nerves, or the chill vintage ambience going on, or Tommy's comfortable/intimidating presence. In other words, this felt natural and you were fucking with it. 

There were several times you needed to burp, but forgetting you weren't with your girls, you had to swallow that shit deep. After all, girls don't burp. You tried to keep your femme fatale composure. 

You were the light he needed in his very dark emo life. It had been a very long time since he had a genuine laugh, despite the fact he might have had no idea what the fuck you were talking about or saying half the time, but seeing you all bubbly and happy made him feel content. He was finally being vulnerable, letting go a little and just, well, living life. Being free. #livelaughlove

"What will you do? When you've saved enough for Scotland?" he asked. 

The idea brought you down a bit. You forgot about that shit. "Oh, well, I don't know. I kinda like the barmaid stuff, so maybe I'll try to find something similar there?"

You were eating his leftovers. He didn't eat much but liked watching you eat like it was a mukbang. He loved a girl who eats. 

"Why don't you stay?" he asked, avoiding eye contact with you as he poured himself another BuzzBall. You could tell he wasn't a fan but drank it anyway for you because you liked it. 

You again couldn't help but smirk. You loved seeing a guy CRACK!!!

"Do you want me to?" you asked, biting your tongue like the white mom. You hadn't done that in a while either, this English life didn't permit it. 

He took a sip from his drink. "Perhaps you'd be interested in working for me."

"Aren't I already, low-key though?"

"Garrison's not mine," he said. "Do you know anything about bookkeeping?"

He lit a cigarette and offered you one. You took it, not wanting to offend. 

"Well, I gotta tell you," you said, "math is NOT my forte. But oh my god yes babe thanks!"

You ran over and jumped to hug him, he hugged tightly back, he then threw you on the hard table, pushing everything to the floor and you felt his member pressed against your leg. He began kissing you, his tongue licking your lips for entrance. You let him in. Your tongues fought for dominance but you let him win. He eventually started going down on you, taking your Skims dress clean off, and started kissing your labia.

"This...this is a bloody fucking labia," he says. 

You lifted your legs as he began to eat you out, his wet breath on your cooter. He held your foot up and raised himself, ready to press his member into your entrance. Your eyes were closed, ready to take the boy from Birmingham in. This is it. No missed flights, no drunk men to call you Jezebels, no lung cancer from cigarettes and factory smoke, no IRS or IRA, nothing - just you and Tommy.

You and Tommy laid on his bed, in each other's arms. Since his bed was high-key smaller than a twin, it was pretty cramped, but neither of you minded. You two were smoking (him a cigarette and you your Elf bar), reminding you of that one band Cigarettes after Sex and how Tommy would've liked them, but they wouldn't drop music for another couple years in this time zone. 

You two talked softly as the rain patterned on the window's glass, some of the street lights peering through the curtain. If there was some incense on, it'd be a vibe. You originally thought his opium pipe was an incense holder but you were very mistaken. 

" - so yeah, that's why people picked team Jolie. But in all honesty, I feel bad for Jennifer, you know? Like, he literally cheated on her. Over what? A fucky boof ass movie? It was ass," you hit your Elf bar, refusing to accept it was dead. "I guess it doesn't matter now, cause NONE of them are together anymore. So what do you think? Aniston or Jolie?"

He took a drag of cigarette as he stared at the ceiling. He made an unsure face. 

"I'm not familiar with them."

"True. Fine, let me think of something you'd know. Like something English drama," you thought. "Okay, team Blur or team Oasis? I hear there was a lot of blood shed during the battle of Britpop."

He again took another drag of his cigarette. Anyone would be looking at this and thinking he found you hella annoying, but he didn't. He just genuinely thought you had a great imagination. 

"Neither, I guess. I don't have time to listen to music."

He was right, which was why he loved when you sang at the pub and most of all, to him during your private Lana concerts. 

As time went on, you were in DEEP. Scotland? Yeah never heard of her. Not only were you working for Tommy doing whatever bookkeeping is, but he had even introduced you to his family, which you KNOW damn well is a sign that shit is serious. 

You loved the Shelby's, even though they were a bit off their shit sometimes. But it wasn't anything new, you'd been well familiar with crazy families before. You loved talking shit with Polly, going to the 'cinema' with Ada, fucking with Arthur until he got mad, supplying John with his toothpicks and making little Finn believe in the fake number 'derf'. You got along with them well, they saw you as a perfect fit for the family - something different, vibrant and bright! You loved them and they loved you! Polly would even tell you in confidence that you made Tommy a happier person, something he lost after the war. Getting Polly's stamp of approval was literally it, that's all you needed. 

And you and Tommy? Yeah y'all were a thing. An item. During work hours he'd give you little looks here and there, and so did you, as if it was some secret office romance. But it wasn't secret literally everyone knew you were his girl. And that's power. 

You learned the ropes pretty fast, again it wasn't your first rodeo in the mob. It was like Colombia all over again, but we don't talk about that. Tommy fucked with you having a secretive criminal past, he thought it was pretty hot. 

Besides bookkeeping, you still worked in the bar. All the patrons loved when you sang Lana, it just went on to prove that she's indeed a poet. They eventually memorized them and sang along, which annoyed you sometimes cause you just wanted to hear yourself and they sounded like ass when they were drunk. But you just go along with it! 

Some of the songs you in the pub (and Tommy's room) sang included:

Bartender (cause hello? You're LITERALLY at a bar)

Shades of Cool (for Tommy's big blue ass eyes (you wished they could hear that guitar solo cause the acapella didn't do it justice :( ))

Cola (singing this for the fist time made you realize you had to censor a couple things, they weren't a fan of that intro)

Stargirl's Interlude (Lana's part obvi, but it's again for Tommy cause he's your starboy <3 he loved when you hit those high notes)

Brooklyn Baby (you avoided it cause it reminded you of your ex)

Video Games (hello it's for Tommy)

Love Song (this makes them all cry)

Money Power Glory (again hello it's Tommy, but this wouldn't hit until he's a member in Parliament)

National Anthem (being in England for so long made you forget the United States anthem)

Fucked My Way Up To The Top (literally you rn)

Speaking OF a bunch of drunk men, the gang loved you. You thought you were like the comedic relief of the little theater thing they had going on here. You had to admit, you admired the method acting everyone had done so far. It only, to you, proved that it worked, since you were GENUINELY left in deep in a psychosis where you're just a 1920's flapper girl. 

There was some rules and etiquettes you needed to remember, however. One, was of course, the "BILLY FACKIN KIMBA", and another was you finding out Tommy did NOT fuck with brujeria or anything dark magic related. You thought it was kinda funny, he reminded you of those Reddit r/atheist accounts but at the same time, he was low-key scared of zodiacs. Not that he didn't like it, he was paranoid at them. You literally asked his zodiac sign and he responded very sternly and seriously, 

"Y/N, don't."

You then said. "That's a very Capricorn thing to say."

Besides that, everything was great and chill.

It wasn't long before this annoying ass Irish inspector dude pulled up to the pub. Once he saw you, he locked eyes with you and approached the bar. You didn't like his vibe in the slightest. In fact, no one in the pub liked his vibe either. They all fell silent when he entered. 

"Excuse, me, ma'am," he said. You turned, not really wanting to talk. 

"Yeah, what?"

"Do you know about a Thomas Shelby?" 

"Yeah, what about him?" you didn't fuck with anyone who referred to Tommy as Thomas. Like?

"Do you know where I can find him?"

You were really starting to not fuck with his vibe even more. Something was def fishy. 

"You should really go back to being with the dinosaurs," you said. He didn't like that. 

He leaned in. "Do you know who I am? Who do ya think you arrrrrre?" the R's went very crazy. 

And just in time, as if he was your guardian angel, Tommy opened the doors to the little room beside the bar. Babes was hearing everything and he was NOT gonna let this dude talk shit to his girl like that. 

"You need to speak to me? Inspector Campbell, is it?" he said. "I've read about you in the papers."

Tommy then took Campbell soup outside to speak. Before leaving, he (Tommy) gave you a wink and you winked back. You knew that was code for 'let's hit my flat later'. Little did you know, this would be the last time.....

P.S. - when you asked one of the men at the pub who he was and someone replied IRA, you originally interpreted that as the Irish IRS and shat yourself. You didn't know how to tell Tommy your time was ticking, they'd located you - but you were not going down without a fight. 

You were both in his bedroom as usual, he was lying in bed smoking, you were hitting the Elf bar, rain pattering, English people yelling outside yeah you get the vibe. Anyway, he asked you to sing - a request you took quite seriously. You knew this was his only time of relaxation and you had to make the best of it before you break the news you needed to escape again.

You rose, sitting up and looking down at his BBL face. 

"Lana or Nicki?"

"Lana."

"Can I do Nicki? You never ask for her."

He took a drag and nodded. "Go ahead."

This, now this would be where you fucked up. Let's just say, you wish you could wipe out this night from your memory. Alas, all things need to come to an end, even the good ones, unfortunately. You'd never thought it would be like this though tbh. 

You stood up on the bed, as usual, cleared your throat all that bullshit. You thought and thought, "what's a good Nicki song? What's fitting?"

And then it hit you - it was definitely a deep cut. 

He had a soft smile on his lips, watching you as you were thinking. Little did he know, you were going to harness a part of yourself you hadn't seen in a while. This was a mode you unlocked that was such a release after, and you knew you had to go all or nothing. 

You cleared your throat. 

"Okay, so this one's kinda not AS well known, but it has British themes I think work well," you prefaced. "Okay, here I go."

The moment you opened your mouth, you let the spirit of Nicki come in. And once she's in, there's no going back. And Tommy was not prepared for that. You then started Nicki's verse in Sean Kingston's "Born To Be Wild".  

"♪ If you will die, then why would you try and if you reply, a suit and a tie is what I will buy then you will be mine because you and I were born to be wild, I am Martha you King Arthur who knew you would land me, I’ve been known to eat these rappers, cook em like chef Ramsey - ♪"

You were too deep to notice Tommy's rapid increasing worry and fear as you spat out those lyrics. It was too overstimulating for him to handle. You ate, but that was just want concerned him - he didn't know you were rapping. In fact, no one at this current time did. 

" ♪ - Mission accomplished, your my accomplice cover of vogue yeah ima go topless ima go bonkers ima go crazy ima get reckless then have a baby then hang the baby off the balcony teach him to moon walk tell em he's Japanese - ♪ "

No, he thought you were putting a curse on him. No, he was CONVINCED. 

"Stop! STOP!" Tommy rose from his bed, pushing the sheets off of him. 

You were shaken out of your trance, confused. You became worried, what happened? Did you miss something? Were y'all in danger?

"Wait, Tommy -"

"Enough! Stop!" you had never seen panic in that man's eyes. Never. And you didn't like it. He was looking straight at you, talking to YOU. 

"Stop what -"

"You're a bloody fucking witch!" he yelled, rubbing his hand through his hair while the other TIGHT on his hip. This was his evaluating stance. "That's what this is - that's what it's been."

"Uh, Tommy," you said, more annoyed that he interrupted your moment, "I'm no witch. I'm just, well, Y/N."

He took a deep breath, now facing away from you. He couldn't believe it. All this time, all that mumbo jumbo that came out of your mouth, all this time - they were just that. Curses. No wonder he didn't understand them, you were literally speaking in tongues this whole time. 

You walked towards him, slowly. This man needed that opium right now. 

"Tommy -"

"Leave. LEAVE!" he yelled, grabbing your messy bun, and doing what you didn't think would happen again for a very long time - he beybladed you. 

Spin. Spin. Spin.

"LET IT BLOODY RIP!"

And there it was. 

And there you went. 

He twisted you in the air round and round, ready for a different kind of liftoff. He flung you out the window, you crashed through and onto the cobblestone streets of Birmingham. 

That was it. All these months, all this rehearsing - it all came to an end. On a random Tuesday evening? The Tommy you once thought you knew was no more - after all this time, he never trusted you? Didn't he know who you were? Like dude he watched you be vulnerable at fuck up a tikka masala. TWO of them at that. 

Anyway, you realized maybe the entirety of UK just wasn't your vibe, anyway. With this 'IRA' now in town, your ass needed to be grass. Before leaving, you broke into his horse racing betting place whatever it's called and committed a little fun heist, taking all the money. What? A girl needed to sustain herself in this economy. Dog eat dog world shit. And plus, all your stuff was back at his apartment and you were DEF not gonna go back. Who knows? Was HE working for the Men In Black? Wining and dining you to gain his trust and he turned you in? Maybe he did you a favor in the end. 

And maybe you could upgrade to the latest iPhone when you got to London with all this horse money? With a shilling and a pound, the possibilities seemed endless. 

You walked down the streets, sad, but again more confused and a little relieved, onto your next destination, wherever that maybe. Anywhere Y/N went, it was all just a big adventure of a girl having fun being, well, just a girl having fun in this world. And THAT'S all that matters. 

Hope you enjoyed!

xoxo, 

~Sam St. Clair

#tommy shelby #peaky blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby x y/n #cillian murphy #cillian x reader #cillian x fem!reader #fanfiction #imagine #smut #x reader #oppenheimer #oppenheimer x reader

[restlesschilled]

TMagP 007 Reaction

Note: I'm a backer so this was done on Tuesday the 20th and set to post on Thursday the 22nd

Pre Statement

Same Night?

oh butterfly skins lovely

CELIA ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

"your sure"

Celia what a queen is she trying to find Jon and Martin?

okay so there is no way she doesn't know shes gotten pulled into a new reality right?

is Celia an audience plant?

Statement

hi chester

IM SORRY WHAT

HILL TOP CENTER BRANCH IN OXFORD

HILL TOP ROAD HILL TOP ROAD WE HAVE A HILL TOP ROAD ALERT

CHESTER REALLY WENT "HI CELIA I SEE YOU"

thats really jon in there isnt it?

LINE MANAGER YOU SAY (i know its just a term in the UK but it will always make me think of stellar firma)

"chill" and it was "all good" HAHAHAHAHAHA

ITS THE ANATOMY STUDENTS??

oh so the fur rug had teeth? oh that's nice

WAIT IT HAD TEETH, LIKE THE APPLE?

they're just trying to offload stuff a get a big tax deduction lol

sabbatical reminds me of the time Tim tried to ditch the institute and kept getting payed but was compelled by eldritch horrors to come back

"It was at this point I began to sense that I was starting to lose control of the situation." this statement is so season 1 Jon coded

TAXIDERMY ALERT

everyone these may be avatars of the buried

DING DING DING ITS THE BURIED

WEVE GOT A HUNTER EVERYONE

Post Statement

"The voice threw me" YEAH I BET IT DID CELIA

"Better than Norris, whiny little toad" dsfjgalkjgeruyiaog I MEAN SHE ISNT WRONG BUT DAMN ALICE THATS COLD

Oh god imagine when she hears Norris for the first time

IM SORRY WHAT

SAM WHAT

WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT

WHAT

THE

FUCK

HE SENDING EMAILS

WHAT DID THE EMAIL SAY??

"i have multiple copies of you FAILING TO DO SO" AHAHAHAHAHA

I still don't think Lena is willfully evil and I feel like this further makes my point, shes pushing people away to keep them from getting as deep as she is, like shes basically an archivist.

GWEN NO

GWEN DON'T DO IT

CAT2RC3338-03022016-12022024 the date of this shift is the same as last weeks episode which I assumed it would be because of Alice showing Celia around

I'm legit shaking

#the magnus protocol spoilers #the magnus protocol #tmagp #liveblogging #tmagp 007 #tmagp 7 #celia ripley #alice dyer #samama khalid #sam khalid #colin Becher #gwen bouchard #gwendoline bouchard #lena kelley #and klaus! #the buried

[the0retically]

The Suckening #8: Sins of the Father:

Just my thoughts :)! Spoilers below!

- It is 11:33 pm Saturday night and I’m just now starting this episode let’s goooo

- Condi isn’t a fan of sucking anymore??? He’s no longer allowed

- Oh they’re trying to teach Charlie the ways of blowing but in his words “it’s not even good” “I love suck, I love suck”

- I say it everytime but GOD THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD THANK YOU NATHAN HANOVER!!!!!!!

- Arthur traveling in first class, posh boy

- “What a plane” ARTHUR PLEASE

- Arthur has been in America that long?? 1918 is when he left, holy shit that’s so long

- “It’s not in black and white anymore” CHARLIE PLEASE

- Charlie and Grizz doing the British accent is SO BAD OH MY GOD

- ……..Arthur’s home isn’t going to be the same at all :(

- Charlie this accent is incomprehensible?????

- Grizz is fighting for his life!! during this convo oh my god

- Arthur got NO SUCCESSES???? He’s just peering through the window in plain view oh my god

- THAT SCREAM????? CHARLIE PLEASE

- He’s just wiping the sunscreen off??? JUST BOOKING IT TO THE DARKNESS??

- This is going So bad, Arthur please get out of there, he just scares a little girl, runs into the shadows, gets caught by the mom and Waves at her fucking hell arthur what are you doing??

- “Are there cops in the UK?” Charlie??

- He’s just running oh my god?? Arthur PLEASE

- He’s in the forest now?????

- Oh god he’s just trying to see his family that he buried :(((

- ARTHUR IS LIKE JACK THE RIPPER???? AS IN LORE

- no ok I agree with bizly that the legend of the Bennett family would make this family more on edge

- Arthur :(

- Oh semi unmarked graves so that people wouldn’t notice them :(

- …….why does he want the shovel though, please don’t dig up your family

- Grizz is gonna make me cry, the way he listed what Arthur’s siblings are good at and that they would be great at those things and he still doesn’t know what he’d do and what he’d be good at

- Charlie is cruel for the Christmas photo of the Bennett family :(((

- Oh Arthur was kinda like emizel, he was more of a punk, a delinquent

- :(((( the memory of the photo :((((

- Oh god the cops are here?? At least he got out of there but oh my god

- ……oh no the sun “you took a cab out here, what’s the plan??” “There’s always hitchhiking” “I’d pick you up!”

- ………………is Arthur going to steal this kids bike YES GRIZZ LETS GOOOOO THE IMAGE IS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP

- HES A SPEED RACER ON THIS LITTLE BIKE!!!!!

- Climaxxx London……Charlie Please

- A camera for void?? Arthur is becoming a spy! Spy arc!

- ARTHUR HAS AN APPLE WATCH????

- Spy gear kids cam on void!!!!

- I hate how quiet it got after Charlie told the boys that vampires need to spend a blood point to cum

- I love how the other two always play random NPCs for the one person’s scene

- Spirits touch is SO COOL!! I love it

- “:((( how do you get behind a wall?? I have a stupid money brain that just wants to blow it up” GRIZZ

- It’s so interesting that the Bennett’s, or at least Arthur’s father, was a vampire hunter, like it’s just so tragic

- HAHAH GRZZ YELLING ABOUT ANOTHER WALL PLEASEEE

- CHARLIE HAS PHYSICAL THINGS FOR GRIZZ?? THATS SO COOL!!!!

- Charlie you scare me whenever you do the horror dm voice

- 5 pairs of footsteps??? Goodness that’s a lot

- NO CHARLIE BRINGING UP THE CLOCK MECHANIC FROM BITB AND CONDI IMMEDIATELY KNOWING WHAT IT IS TOO AND JUST SAYING GOOD LUCK GOODNESS AHHHHH?????

- HE ROLLED A TEN THAT QUICK??

- YEAHHHHHHH ARTHUR IS CRACKED!! HES ROLLING SO WELL!!!!

- The music is so beautiful and stunning, I love it

- “Bro you dress pretty vampiric” hahah Arthur really does

- CHARLIE HUH???? HOW DID HE ROLL THAT MANY SUCCESSES

- Grizz is Stressed out and so am I

- Also Jumpscare every time one of them uses a others real name, like Zach?? No that’s bizly

- FANTASTIC MONOLOGUE GRIZZ I LOVE THAT

- They have ear protection though??? WHAT THE HELL

- ……Arthur what are you doing to this cab driver??

- SHADOWS AND JUST DRINKING HIS BLOOD ALRIGHT!

- No way Grizz rolled a ten oh my god that’s perfect ARTHUR IS GOING BACK TO LA WOOOOOO

- …..Arthur please you’re on a plane please just be ok

- HAHAH HE JUST HAS TO BE IN THE BATHROOM FOR THE REST OF THE FLIGHT??? NOOOOO POOR ARTHUR

- THE TWINS!!!!!! THEYRE HERE!!

- Brothers being brothers!

- They’re making a board for all the heavy players!!

- :(((( shilo talking about his mom!

- “It’s the only way if we’re going to take care of Edward Twilight”

- FIRST STOP IS THEO???????

- “‘Yes my prince!’ I love Grefgore :)” I DO TOO!!

- Just going to fucking rehab to get Theo im so—

- Emizel suggested to go to Walmart and feed—NOW THEYRE IN WALMART??

- I never knew I needed to see Shilo in a Walmart

- CHARLIE MAKING DOG NOISES RETURNS!!

- Grefgore in a Walmart is Chaos!!

- Theo Door, PLEASE?? Condi :// Theo Collins is SICK THOUGH LOVE THAT, I really hope I heard that right cause that’s a cool name

- HES DRINKING WATER!!!!!! LETS GOOOO THEO!!!!!

- “Yes that is in the baja past” I just burst out in laughter that was so funny

- Theo being so happy to see Emizel but pissed off at Shilo is so fun, it’s just like Deacon liking Shilo and disliking Emizel

- “Can we dap up?” “No” Theo’s Anger towards Shilo oh my god

- “I look at my brother, I look at Grefgore” PLEASE :((((( I LOVE THAT :((

- Lol the brothers and their boyfriends out for an attack

- LETS GOOOOO EMIZEL!!!! Killing the eye bat with the water bottle in one shot!!!

- Gotta stop because it’s 2:07 am and I have a show later today and yesterday was a two show day and rehearsal, I’m exhausted

- Ok time to keep going

- LETS GOOO THEYRE STEALTHY

- Damn the boys are thwarted by a wall and no door again

- This plan is so convoluted and complex like boys please be smart and safe cause like Vex and Viv are insane and they’re not safe at all in this situation

- Shilo :((

- “Cause a ruckus and I’ll be able to get out, don’t worry about me” :( Emizel “worst case I’ll just kill myself” PLEASE????

- “I’m going to look at him, my eyes glow, and go ‘shush’” SHILO HOLY SHIT

- Vex….You intrigue me

- Oooh emizel is filming this

- I agree with Grizz I Also love Vex and Viv

- Backrooms backrooms backrooms backrooms

- GOD IS HE CAUGHT?? Ok thank god he can hide

- 10 SUCCESSES LETS GO EMIZEL

- Never say it’s going well cause then it’s gonna go shit

- “Shamiashma is back!” GOD I LOVE VEX AND VIV THEYRE SO COOL

- I love how Angry they are about Emizel and how they’re just enemies

- Oh god???? The sire is here???

- “Shamiashwho??” “ShamiashYOU!”

- Oh god Shilo please please get out of there

- LETS GO THEO?? PLEASE PLEASE

- YESSSS BLOCKED BY THE FIRE!!!!

- The sire has a gun??? What????

- God I love the banter between emizel and the sire

- Emizel botched???? Dudeeeeee

- “Is there a cliff nearby?” “Roll, difficulty of 8” “there’s a cliff” “oh god damn it”

- The chanting for vex to fail was SO good

- This is insanity I love it

- This campaign is so so good I love it

- “Don’t thank me, thank my prince” WOO

- EMIZEL IS GOING FOR THE CLIFF!!!!

- Let’s gooooo I’m shocked that they were able to get the people out but !!!!!

- THE SUCKENING!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GOOOOO

- YEAH EMIZEL!!!!!! HE LIVES THROUGH THIS EPISODE!!!

- These hounds are so bad oh my god

- SO GOOD!!!! LOVED THAT

#jrwi #jrwi thoughts #the suckening #shilo bathory #emizel tucker #arthur bennett

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

hey you seem to really know your stuff with titanic and im curious if you can tell me more about that night? a lot seem to think everyone either just drowned or froze too death, but i have a feeling it was a lot more awful than people realize, considering all the jokes people make about the sinking they seem clueless to the fact this was a very bad and awful way to die, for everyone on that ship, especially the third class :/

you know, ive always thought i didnt know that much about titanic but as ive sat here parsing through what i do know, turns i know a lot more than i thought.

and unfortunately, anon, youre very right, it was a horrible way to die, especially so for the third class.

quite a lot of people did drown or freeze to death which are horrifying ways to go by themselves.

at the time, evacuation plans for big oceanliners were shit so a lot of people wouldnt have gotten their lifesavers on, and off the top of my head, i wouldnt be able to tell you how many people could swim back then, but it was certainly less than today. it was only in the 90s that swimming became a compulsory part of the curriculum in schools in the uk, so unless you had reason to know to swim, you probably didnt know if you were british.

and i dont think i need to go into the biology of drowning to tell you its not a fun way to go. its fucking painful, for one, and two, you would have been terrified if you drowned during a fucking shipwreck.

it was also very cold, unsurprisingly. its the north atlantic. it was about 28°F or -2°C which is a lethal temperature. for some reason, a lot of people think that freezing is a relatively peaceful way to die; its not. i cant speak myself for how awful being so cold youre shivering is (i cant really feel the cold because of nerve damage but thats beside the point), but everyone ive spoken to about it resoundingly says its fucking awful. you also experience disorientation, muscle stiffness, excruciating pain in your extremities as your body pulls circulating blood from them to keep your vital organs going, and if youre very unlucky, you might also get frostbite (which can kick in under 30mins) which will add some burning pain.

an added kicker to the cold is that even if you can swim, the shock of cold water might make it harder. im pretty sure shock also likely killed people outright.

another way of dying if you made it out of the boat and into the water (spoiler: several people didnt) is if you were too close to the funnels when they collapsed, you would have been crushed by 62ft tall metal funnels. dozens died that way and if the crushing didnt kill you, you would have either drowned or frozen to death soon after.

you could have also been killed by any number of things that fell from the ship, especially as the stern (the end bit) began to lift up before the ship finally broke in two.

mind you, all of this happened in almost darkness. the engineers kept the lights on as long as they could but eventually they cut out and part of what made the iceberg so hard to see was the fact that it was a new moon.

one of the other things that made it hard to spot is one of the few not good things, but better: the ocean was relatively calm. it made it hard to spot icebergs because you can normally watch out for the foam of the water as it splashes on them. although it led to the sinking itself, it did make launching lifeboats possible (its hard as hell to launch lifeboats in violent ocean today let alone the dinky little wooden ones back then) and those in the water werent being thrown around as much as they could have been. though thats not saying much.

and of course, there are those who didnt make it out of the boat. movies did not lie to you about that although they did lie to you about the specifics.

historical record suggests that they did not purposefully lock third class passengers below deck like many movies show. testimony from the few third class passengers who survived indicates this which is why im likely to believe it. they were able to get up on deck, but it also wasnt easy to do that.

now, crew have said in the haste of the evacuation, they didnt remember to tell the third class passengers the plan. now is that true or is it just a more favourable story to tell during the inquiry? i cant say, for sure. either could be true and both highlight how we treated the poor in society back then (and as a poor, its reflective of today). as such, many third class passengers simply left the cabins and waited outside to be told what to do and that didnt happen. eventually, they made their way up themselves, some due to the fact that they could see the rising water.

and not all of them made it to deck. some chose not to, and again, going off third class survivor testimony here which is why im willing to believe it. theres a specific story about a woman who put her baby on her lap and simply played the piano until the atlantic rose to meet her. another of a man who told his brethren that he was too old to fight the atlantic, and simply lit a cigarette and waited.

others got lost because titanic was a large ship and it was very easy to get lost. especially in the panic of a sinking ship and under lights that are getting dimmer. luckily, some crew remembered oh shit the poor people exist and went down to help any that needed it, so some were led out but that doesnt mean they all did.

also, sadly, it probably wouldnt have helped. similarly to the engineering crew that kept the engines going as long as they could before evacuating themselves, there simply werent enough lifeboats and they were all or almost all gone.

additionally, there were no lifeboats on the third class deck space so they had to make their way to either second or first in order to get into a lifeboat. dont quote me on this because i might have the wrong place, but this is where there was a locked gate for third class. luckily, they snapped the lock off of it and got the fuck out.

anyway, back to those inside. now some of the people trapped inside likely drowned, especially those trapped in the bow as it slowly filled with water and began to sink into the water. the risk of drowning also got worse, once things like walls and doors gave out and in comes a rush of freezing cold sea water.

but that isnt the only likely fate. a rush of water can push quite a lot of things and terrifying speeds which meant people would have been killed via blunt force trauma or being impaled on something. especially for those in the stern (again, the back bit) as it lifted because gravity is not helping here. those still trapped inside would have held on for dear light as the light slowly dimmed and became redder before finally cutting out as the ship broke in two.

now if you were in the stern and escaped death via drowning, blunt force trauma or impaling, you would have definitely been killed by water pressure. see, the bow was able to fill with water relatively slowly and equally which is why its still decently intact on the seabed because it sank relatively slowly. the stern did not and thats why the stern looks like an underwater crash site. as the stern sank, it sank quickly which meant there were still air pockets inside as it sank. and as it came down, the pressure built and soon the people above water could hear what sounded like explosions. it would have been a quick death, but thats the most i can say.

i cant speak for if any kind of sealife killed anyone. i havent heard of any testimony of that and i dont know whats there in the north atlantic to kill people. i assume theres something there, but i couldnt tell you what.

im also sure i missed some forms of death, but off the top of my head, thats what i got.

and yeah, it wasnt pretty and most of the people who died were third class or crew members.

#anon #titanic #tw death #im not sure what trigger warnings exactly to put here so please let me know if theres any extra #tw drowning #tw hypothermia #shipposting

[mikasuxxx]

hii!! short hc rq—been thinking about 141 + friends with an aggressively american reader like. specifically british people with words like “y’all” and “aint” [harassing them with “y’aint” sounds funny as fuck] and idk teasing them ab the war like. it’s been on my mind all day

Lol i love that. Bet! Also sorry i couldnt do more characters im kinda tired rn so I'll do them later! Thanks for the ask anon!

Soap

would find it funny as fuck

every time you say "yall" or "aint" he cant help but giggle

He laughs whenever youre talking shit about brits and bringing up the revolutionary war

ESPECIALLY if you bring up the (dead) queen. Bro is already on the floor

Tries to put on an american accent. Ends up sounding southern. Seeing this, you try to put on a scottish accent. But fail miserably

Plays the eagle sound effect whenever you enter a room, thinks its the funniest shit ever

Is entertained by watching you argue with price over "soccer" vs "football"

Price

oh he's so done with your shit

Whenever he's winning an argument with you and you KNOW hes winning, you'll switch to a bri'ish accent. Works everytime

Lowkey flinches whenever you say "yall". flinches harder when you say "y'ain't"

Alternativey when youre in an argument you just say "Aint yall's queen dead? Yeah. thats what i thought" and he just gives you a look

Or the revolutionary war.

as mentioned before hes gotten into an argument with you many times over whether its soccer or football

"Its football. You literally kick the BALL with your FOOT." "Okay well its still called soccer idc" "...."

oh hes REALLY not looking forward to seeing you brag in his face after the US vs UK world cup game

"ITS CALLED SOCCER 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🏈🏈🏈"

"NOBODY EVEN SCORED"

You had him try american beer/alcohol brands in general. He said it tastes like piss

Gaz

Hes also amused by it

buys you cowboy boots as a joke. You end up unironically wearing them all the time

Paid you $5 to say yeehaw as loud as you could. wouldnt stop laughing for like 10 mins after

You taught him how to sing the national anthem. Now whenever hes drink he sings it

Is weirded out but also interested in the different words americans have for random things

challenges you to point out every european country on the world map you challenged him to point out the queens burial sight on the map of england

He started saying yall and aint from being around you for so long

Yall mock each others accent too. all in good fun

Ghost

is annoyed by you

generally doesnt like americans

Really doesnt understand some of the shit americans do/say

will never admit it but he sometimes finds those british slandering jokes kinda funny. like he'll huff out some air

He kinda likes some of the food. you cant blame him tho british food sucks

he thinks there's too much fat and grease in most of the food tho

Tolerates you because you dont slander him as much as the others. And overall on missions you get the job done. so its fair game

#mw2022 #mw2 #simon ghost riley #simon riley #john soap mactavish #john mactavish #john price #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick #mw2 headcanons #aya answers #asks

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#fucking. god dammit. i hype myself up like: fuck it i dont want a uk phd #and then i fucking pre interview. which was a full on fucking hour long interview and im reminded how #fucking cool the project is. like hhhhh why cant u b in the us???? #they can only pick one candidate. and like oh yea we could send u to the arctic or southern ocean #fuck u thats so cool hhhhhh ugh. im hoping when i visit [redacted] school i fall in love so completely that i can say no #but ugh its so so cool. and i feel like they were impressed with me. like i feel the interview went well #and one guy was like: even if u dont end up here youll have a stellar research career. and im like 😭 #like i kno im not a perfect fit for the project but like im. i think my brain is good at some things so i could contribute things #ugh now im all shaky a sweaty. and after i visit the other school i have to immediately let the uk school kno if i wanna comit to them #then i could maybe visit the lab. tho idk when id have the time to fucking fly to the uk #uuuuuugh school bullshit. so stressful. but im glad they think what ive done is cool #like i feel so dumb all the time bc the trauma of being dyslexic in the american public school system that as soon as someone says im smart #or impressive im like 😭😭😭 #also they asked how i feel abt writing papers and i was like: convention is bullshit and i dont think thats what the guy was expecting lmao #its true tho. fuck convention. challenge convention. be open to new ideas. otherwise whats the point #sigh. well i felt awful this morning. i mean. its only like 9.30 now but i feel a bit better now #since my last interview was a disaster i feel way better abt my interviewing skills now. which is good bc i have 2 more looming #unrelated

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

this shit is so funny to me because if the allied powers actually beat the nazis then why are there so many in the usa, in france, in the uk? the allies beat the axis powers, not fascism. the usa even took in nazi scientists and other important german figures after ww2.

people from allied countries be like „we beat the nazis“ babe theyre in your parliaments. theyre in the usa, as this person even points out here, and theyre still going strong in germany, italy and japan too. the usa and allies might have won the war, but not the ideological one. so i dont see how this would help beat trump supporters. lmao

and the allied powers did not fight in ww2 because theyre the „good guys“, or genuinely cared about the jews and roma and gays and democrats and poles and prostitutes and other groups persecuted and killed by the german nazis, but due to economic and geopolitical interests like any other war. this is what it leads to when the winners get to write history instead of engaging critically with it.

im just wondering, who is this „we“? antifascists? they didnt beat nazi germany, the military did. should the military fight the trump supporters? or is „we“ appealing to the usamerican people? but the call is coming from inside the house. how is the fact that the us military fought nazis (other countries) in ww2 supposed to help fight domestic fascism in 2023 (within the country). and the usa have been way too busy with imperialism and fighting communism after ww2 to lay any groundwork to fight fascism today so again, who is „we“? didnt anything happen in the usa between 1945 and today that would call the existence of this „we“ in question? if you have to go back to 1945 to find an instance where the usa were on the „right side“ (quotation marks because again, the allied forces did not act out of moral purity as this implies), maybe this comparison is a stupid grift. just a thought.

this might be read as an overreaction but the amount of times ive heard people from allied countries use the ww2 victory as a reference of morality… its just historical and political illiteracy to me.

and thats not even touching on western leftists and liberals seemingly not being able to make a point without comparisons to nazi germany. the adequate comparison here would be „if we were able to end segregation, we can beat trump“ or something else that refers to us national politics.

#shit talking #rant

[finelinevogue]

Hi. Could you do an Instagram blurb where Y/N is a huge fan of Harry and his work and they’re in a relationship? Thanks.

hiiii! of course;

12,938,038 likes

harrystyles As It Was. 1st April.

482,038 comments

y/nfan1 IS THIS REAL??? HELOOOO

y/nfan2 OMG OMGO KGMGOGakakssjs

yourinstagram i just collapsed

y/nbff @/yourinstagram don’t be so dramatic… ur literally silently laying on my bed

harryfan1 HAROLD wait is this…. IS THIS REAL

harryfan2 SCREAMING CRHING THROWING UP

70,927 likes

yourinstagram you lot better be streaming….🕺

16,937 comments

harryfan1 y/n we are at your service

harryfan2 no1. in the uk and usa babbyyy

harrystyles The guy on screen is quite hot

y/nfan1 @/harrystyles self aware king

yourinstagram @/harrystyles really? i never noticed

84,937 likes

yourinstagram you gotta do what you gotta do

1,038 comments

y/nfan1 major gf brownie points

y/nfan2 okay but how 3 phones?

yourinstagram @/y/nfan2 we got me streaming. h streaming. and jeff streaming.

harrystyles It is a good song to be fair

harryfan1 GOHOMEGETAHEADLIGHTSPEEDINTER NETIDONTWANNATALKABOUTTHEWAYTHATISWAS

yourinstagram @/harryfan1 LEAVEAMERICATWOKIDSFOLLOWHERIDONTWANNATALKABOUTWHOSDOINGITFIRST

27,938 likes

eNEWS Mysterious woman seen sharing intimate kisses with no other than the world’s most eligible bachelor Harry Styles… more here…

1,928 comments

harryfan1 its so blurry but i know his tattooed arm when i see it

y/nfan1 but y/n?!?…

harryfan1 im so confused isn’t that y/n??

yourinstagram don’t worry bffs thats me. STREAM AS IT WAS.

y/nfan2 not y/n caught in a scandal yet telling us to stream as it was😭😭

9,927 likes

harryfan1 i feel exactly the same harry😌

283 comments

y/nfan1 simbbaaaaa

y/nfan2 THIS BTS FOOTAGE KILLS ME EVERY TIME

yourinstagram srsly harrys house is his child

harryfan2 @/yourinstagram he has two other children too

harryfan1 Y/N JUST COMMENTEDASKSJA😭

592,202 likes

yourinstagram it’s not a home if harry’s house isn’t being played 🫶

96,566 comments

harryfan1 soo cute i cant

y/nbff you’re welcome 📸

harryfan2 my comfort people <333

y/nfan1 STREAM HARRYS HOUSE YALL

harrystyles You are home❤️

yourinstagram @/harrystyles ❤️

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #ask finelinevogue #harry styles fanfic #finelinevogue #harry blurb #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #harrystyles instagram #harry instagram concept #harry styles instagram #harry styles blurbs #as it was #harrys house

[lightleckrereins]

Seemingly getting rid of the silver alt variations and giving Meg one costume with no variations also seems to be a choice. I wonder if by next cast change they’ll have the US cover system with no alt costumes.

I think Meg not having pants is another on the long list of things six is trying out with this cast. One of the things long running shows need to do is being smart with where they spend money, not making very expensive costumes that will only be used a handful of times is one of the most common practices. And that is not a bad thing.

Many shows refit costumes for new cast members, or share big pieces like skirts and coats. With six its not easy to refit costumes or share anything aside from crowns or ruffs in a single cast. But they are exploring alternatives. Alt boots with interchangeable straps mean alts will have the fancy designs without making three separate pairs of boots. Alts now have one or two wigs made to be easily restyled into multiple queens vs having four separate hairpieces. Its been a process of trial and error thats still not finished.

For this cast change it seems they were aiming for having two strong covers for each role (which is what most shows have anyway) plus a third cover just in case with the swings. Ignoring the fact that six always needs extra coverage and that Natalie would be out during a complicated period it is a good cover system. Everyone said no second covers or alt costumes was not a great idea (and we were right) but objectively it is a solid plan.

Meg not having pants I think falls into this. Silver only uses pants for parr and she is probably third cover: Hannah first, Natalie second, and if they need both Howard and Parr with Hannah out I think Meg would get ptiority for Howard. Second priority swing costumes are very rarely worn so they are a big investment that will probably hang in a closet most of the year. Meg not having pants makes sense. But I also don't think it was the right call. (Also I dont think her having boleyn over pants would be the best plan either)

Focusing on priority cover variations for the swings is a good idea as those are the costumes they are most likely to wear. But they are still swings, they should go on for all queens; its like second covers, with most alts they rarely go on for those roles but there has never been a cast where they arent needed. So yes do variations for priority but also make sure they have variations that work for all six queens. Parr with open skirt doesn't necessarily work. But you know what does? Cleves with pants and Symour with pants and its not ideal but Parr with shorts. Do you see where I am going? I stand by the best swing variation set is open skirt, cleves and pants. But if the production is cutting variations make black open skirt and cleves and silver open skirt and pants. Its the middle point, less variations to make but it still covers all six queens.

And Meg not having pants now doesn't mean she won't get them in the future, six WE is at a trial stage for alts. I wouldnt be surprised if she gets a variation sometime soon.

Also I don't think UK casts will switch to Us cover system, both work very well for their respective continents.

#ask #six costumes