#when you're a straight guy who likes women not men but that guy on TV is really hot

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[laylawatermelon]

70.6 - 7.07 Speculation/ Buddie Meta

I am a writer y'know hehe

So, Buddie is happening.

Now let me explain.

Bi buck always existed, but the problem is that most of his consistent emotional relationship one could argue realistically romantically has been with a man he's known for years.

But has always been bi yes, but he's also been in love with his best friend for a really long time.

Friends to lovers where Y'all at? I see y'all madney truthers

Anyways I understand but what has kind of been bothering me is the fact that Buddie the ship has been abandoned/negated as not an important past of the puzzle for bi buck realization despite the fact that Eddie is physically present throughout his entire relationship/storyline.

I could argue that because they're mirrors to each other (corny soulmate type shit is perfect for network tv) this is the best way to ease people into it.

Buck and Eddie are the two beloved firefighters (and respective sex symbols). They have an appeal for the straight audience for that reason.

Lou already spoiled it but he's only here for a while.

There's been almost blatant explanations and dialogue that leads to the fact that this relationship is going to directly lead into buddie one way or another.

Tommy has from the beginning suspected that Buck (I'm calling him Evan in my head in regards to him and it's so weird 😖) and Eddie have an unusual relationship or that Buck is in love with Eddie at least.

(MY attention? is the biggest example.)

My prediction is that their mirrors of each other, the parallels, and red flags pop up too often now.

I know they're still writing the show and are likely watching audience engagement and ao3 (I'm watching you Tim ik you're here I'm new but ik you got shooters out here) for where to go with the story.

In Eddie's (frankly oddly portrayed) plotline is related to his Catholic guilt and his nonexistent relationship with Marisol (no last name?). As the episode maybe suggests they don't know their partners well enough.

Shame to Eddie because it's been months in universe like come on man. In Buck's it's literally been a few weeks, and most of the time Tommy spent with Eddie and not with him.

I like them as a couple and find them affordable. I can't quite bring myself to ship them or be as enthusiastic as others and that's okay.

I still admire the relationship they have and won't bash others for enjoying it.

Hell they still have Taylor and Buck enjoyers and maybe even Abby (i assume I haven't met any honestly).

The reason why I'm a bit confused on why Buddie isn't being all that embraced as a vital part of the storyline is because in a way it is.

I think it spurred the writers on to lean into it heavily due to the actors chemistry and portrayal of the relationship.

Now I'm not saying he wouldn't be bi regardless, because he's always been written that way.

His interactions with worm guy, a gay married couple, Carlos (who I've been waiting to say this but I can't hold myself any longer is Latino, shorter than him, brown eyes, dark hair - Eddie lite/he had a bit of a type aka cute guys.)

I clocked him flirting with him with his cute fact spilling as a way of affection because I do it to to people I love. (🤗i love my ADHD rep!) When he saw him look at the girl he became more platonic in his interactions. Then there was Eddie.

And Eddie honestly is the biggest part of the puzzle.

Yes he likes Tommy, and I don't deny he likes strong confident (suspiciously Eddie shaped 😂) guys.

He has always been attracted to strong personalities regardless of gender.

I do think he did pursue him and I think because Tommy is gay he recognized the flirting Buck does with both men and women as that, flirting.

Eddie doesn't count cause he has a whole can of worms he gotta figure out himself.

If Buck had consistent scenes with an out queer man on the show he'd have been at least clocked. (Eddie was kind of in the way with Josh and the Dispatch crew/his gaydar pinged a lil around him)

I've been saying that now that he's canonically bisexual and it's a known fact, you can't deny he's quite literally been flirting with his best friend the entire show (as a coparent??? Idk man they both said they skip steps/impatient 🤷🏾‍♀️).

When new fans watch it it's obvious, when older fans recall it it's either enlightening or redefining that relationship regardless.

The red flags that are coming up is Eddie's statement of moving too fast and Buck literally moving to fast with his second date (i assume idk how in world time works it's a tv show 🤷🏾‍♀️) being his sister's wedding.

Realistically I know you only invite people to events like that if you're fully committed to each other for a long term thing.

I'm not saying that he's on his wheel but in a way I'm tilting my head at some similarities of Tommy and his past relationships and Buck's tendencies.

Buck will be Buck.

Tommy knows him as Evan, and calls him such.

Which didn't get me wrong cute or whatever but rubs me there wrong away, because we know he prefers Buck as it's his chosen name for a reason. It's defined him and been contextualized and even accepted by his parents.

I believe in calling people the name they choose to be called and I just don't like when that's ignored.

It also doesn't help that he continues to call him that in an episode called You don't know me (you can Even tie it in to Marisol No last name) that deals with identities and lack of knowledge.

Buck has spent most of his remaining twenties with that identity and has defended it so the casualness of him calling him that unnerves me.

It's meant to close the distance and be portrayed as romantic but it can also be interpreted as him seeing Evan, not Buck when with him.

But I did see a post that changed my perspective on calling a name with love instead can recontextualize the meaning of it and I found that sweet and fitting. In that case I can swing either way about it.

If it does make him more accepting of that side of his identity that's great that he's beginning to heal from a path when his name/personhood was used as a weapon or item.

But, I also still feel a bit iffy that it's not interchangeably used with Buck because his family and everyone he knows calls him that. Even his previous romantic partners did and I didn't mind him being called it but I would like it if both names would be used as that is the new part of him where Evan exists as well.

Also narratively they spent too much time on defining his name and what it means to him and everyone around him to not show the importance of his identity being acknowledged in a new unfamiliar relationship.

(whew i think I'm just mad at the writers or this may just be on purpose who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️)

I'm getting to the meta I promise I'm just finally processing what's been plaguing me about this relationship and i gotta let the monster out

That would also explain why he doesn't know the ADHD rants that Buck blabs on about.

But then again the episode is called you don't know me and they weren't even friends he just jumped into a relationship.

(ps you can just start dating someone and learn as you go I'm just saying 🤷🏾‍♀️)

The biggest problem with their relationship is that he's in love with his best friend.

He literally only began to open up and flirt when he realized that he wasn't a romantic threat to his family.

(Which trifling Buck! Your man can't get wined and dined?? He deserves love too!/j)

He literally relaxed/his shoulders open up when Tommy assures him that his son still loves and idolizes him and that Eddie still likes him and he's irreplaceable in his life.

After that's secured he begins to make his move and become more flirtatious (cough sexually open cough) to this confident man in his kitchen in the dim lights and glowy atmosphere.

Damn I'd kiss him too 🤷🏾‍♀️ (if I was a guy ofc)

I also didn't like the parallels of Buck being left (which has happened with his female love interests) and then Buck still having to reach out.

I don't think Tommy is bad for Buck, but I'm still not convinced that he's 100% good. But then again he's been here literally a two episodes and barely any screentime.

And the one he does makes it seem like he's interested but not too invested.

(which makes sense and I will elaborate a bit later in the meta speculation)

The Tommy that everyone is talking about exists solely in fan spaces and head canon and that's why I think I can't get into it. The facts of him are plain in the show but in the fan spaces he has a different image.

Which valid, once again he's almost a blank sheet of what we wish a Buck gets and deserves in a love interest but that's what he is as of now. A blank-ish sheet. Kind of like a projection sheet for movies.

Tommy seems like a caring partner and sure of himself. He's shown himself to be funny, considerate, and as unhinged as the rest of the 118 (ah the fruity fire badasses).

Also i wanna point your Buck likes em a lil older sometimes haha

But back on topic, I can see Tommy being like Natalia (which makes sense as that storyline could've been used) In the fact that he sees that the space in his life is occupied and respectfully backs out.

My meta for 7.06 is this.

Tommy helps out somehow. Buck is ecstatic rightfully so.

They kiss dance and are cute.

The family is very welcoming, the 118 is still loving, but then he sees something that affirms his suspicions.

It's a normal scene for us.

Either Buck is taking care of Chris and then talks to Eddie.

He sees the look in Buck's eyes and the fondness there. He looks at Eddie and sees the same on his face.

He notices how they work together and laugh, them at the family and life he's built all around him, and decides he can't be apart of this. There's no space for him.

It feels too real too fast and he'll only end to heartbroken because he's just interested, not invested yet.

So he gracefully bows out and let's him know that he has enough love in his life if he'd just look for it.

(i also found out he used the word interested in the cafe scene where i recognized it as the ana date. Also Buck was wearing a white patterned shirt and i had a heart attack because it wasn't great the last time he wore it 😬)

Then it leads into ghost of a second chance.

(now imma say this i will be posting more specs about the these episodes I'm just on my buddie storyline juice rn)

This is now Buck trying to salvage/figure out what went wrong and maybe try to contact him again.

In the case of Marisol it's safe to assume they break up, the reason why isn't clear.

It could be related to his sisters disapproval of their relationship (as they're supposed to be coming out did the show forget??) or apprehension towards her as they've been raised/watched him grow up.

They know what makes him happy.

For ghost a second chance I didn't have much buddie assumptions but I'm pretty sure that one is more in relation to other members of the cast most likely and maybe Buck trying to salvage his relationship.

7.08-10 isn't complete so who knows🤷🏾‍♀️ how they must switch it up for more drama?

But I will say, we gotta dive into the Eddie of it all.

Y'all thought I forgot about him?

The bi Buck storyline isn't complete without Eddie either romantically or platonically.

In real life their queer storylines were always interchangeable and they're both feeling out the GA and fans reaction.

Buddie not going canon doesn't make sense because realistically it's one of the biggest ships and the most talked about things for the online fans.

It's a good reason many fans started (me included🙋🏾‍♀️) and stay (if the beautiful found family didn't hit it for them).

The way that they were both discussed and Ryan is fine with Buddie still kind of matches his character honestly. Demi Eddie is a head canon and honestly Eddie would only be comfortable with dating a man at this stage of his life if it's someone he loves already aka Buck.

There could be other reasons but as a Buddie warrior truther (as they named it which is still so insane) as his old interviews alluded to the fact that he loves Buck so much he can't really see himself with another guy he just met like that.

He also maybe wanted a easier storyline as he had always been a bit of a heavy character.

For women it's easier as he's raised to do it and it's "natural" or right for him to do so.

His parents said it, the church says it, God says it so it must be right.

He loves commitment, has said he's a nester and constantly yearns for a family unit.

The only family unit he knows of it feels is acceptable due to his upbringing is man, woman, child.

Not that he's homophobic cause duh, HenRen is literally there, but his standards and pressure doesn't even let him fathom it for himself.

It's also likely if the demi part is true, he's highly unlikely to be like Buck and view others sexually and even realize he's able to have a family/relationship with a man.

I suspect no Buddie this season. I actually hope and pray for it.

Because from both a business and story point it's best to keep the will-they won't-they into season 8 to keep viewers engaged/tuning in and not to rush the story and get some really good emotional moments.

I won't lie I miss the angst we got in the other seasons and as a result the show's identity with Eddie has faltered a bit.

I didn't love episode 5 but I didn't hate it. I still enjoy the show and if they feel a bit unusual it's okay.

There were still some great moments in it.

Eddie's character is now happy but as a result he's also somewhat unfamiliar (that speaks to the whump heavy storylines he has) as he seems less mature. You can argue now that he has a stable support system he's able to let loose because he knows his needs will be covered.

That's also a great point and easy way of showing his development.

His Catholic guilt now that it's been introduced will have to be deconstructed as he will have to redefine his life, what he's looking for/allow himself to be and dare to dream of a life not given to him by someone else or pressure.

This season he's only just started to accept things that make him feel good (which for now is Marisol) and be open and honest about it.

I can argue it is a great sign of improvement of his character.

A bit ooc portrayal yes, but the message of looking deeper still applies.

This can apply to Buddie probably leading through the next half of season 7 by being ramped up and then going full speed ahead season 8.

At the time though since they're still writing they may take a hard right turn and keep it platonic (😭).

But what would be inevitable is Eddie's coming out/self discovery arc that isn't tied to the church or sense of duty.

Which yay! More self discovery I love the message of finding yourself lasts throughout your life and due to life's unexpected events you can change to be a better version of yourself all the time.

We got bi buck (which evidently was influenced by Eddie in some way) now let's free Eddie to even if they didn't do it for Buddie (once again😭😭😭).

Now that I've got it mostly off my chest I'm definitely gonna do an analysis of the parallels and the way it's played pt.2 (and more as seasons passed cause Ryan and Oliver 😘 muah 10/10 no notes).

Okay bye.

#911 abc #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #tv shows #911 spoilers #oliver stark #bi disaster buck #madney wedding #911 meta #911 season 7 #911 speculation #911 fic #lgbtqia #tommy kinard #911ThursdayTakeover #it is Saturday but my offering still stands #i will elaborate later #long post #the parallels #they haunt me #character analysis #bi buck

[cleradinel]

Genuine Q: how is the boys only sign a gay proof for Mike Wheeler and a sign that he isn’t bi? Isn’t he just saying “Boys Only” because they go into a men’s space? Like they weren’t gonna go into a women’s bathroom/locker room? And Lucas goes with them, so if that’s “gay Mike proof,” wouldn’t that make Lucas gay too? Saying “boys only” is not a gay thing either in general, lots of media has moments where straight male characters break off for “bro talk” or “just the guys” and it has nothing to do with their sexuality. Are guys not allowed to socialize with their gender without it being a queercoding clue? (Is it lesbian when girls go into the bathroom together?)

see i was debating the value of presenting my arguments because i truly don't know if you're up for civil discussing or not, but i'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here.

dear anon. your first mistake here is watching and thinking of the show as one dimentional : aka, you think of mike as a person with free will figuring out how to go about trapping a dangerous murderous cunt inside a sauna. in a non meta way, in their world, it is absolutely what's happening, it's just mike stating "i figured something out, will, lucas, follow me." but a tv show is two dimentional : there is a meta layer to the dialogues, to the set design, to the character blocking etc. there are a lot of thoughts put into those decisions, and writers have a lot of fun figuring out how stuff something that on surface level is innocent and devoid of importance with double meaning. i'll give you one example, when will is encouraging el when she's called to do a presentation for class, you can read the word "HENRY" above his neck. in THEIR world, this is just a random name that happens to have been written on a piece of paper and stuck to the wall after discussing whatever henry dude will and el's curiculum asked the teachers of california to talk about. in OUR world, as people watching a tv show, the set design decision to place it here, the director's decision to have the cameraman do this specific shot and to place noah in this specific way is foreshadowing. it's a hint. it's a meta detail. it SHOULD mean something to you. another example ! jason telling lucas "you first hangover feels like you're going to split in two" is not about jason knowing he was quite literally going to end up split in two, he is just recounting his experience with his first hangover to lucas. to US, in a meta way, it's significant, because it was foreshadowing, it was a hint, it was MEANINGFUL. it wasn't a random choice of words from the writers that coincidentally ended up lining up with jason's death down the line. it was INTENTIONAL. jason as a person was not saying anything more than just "man hungovers are a real bitch lol", jason as a tv show character was quite literally telling us how he was going to meet his demise. another one : max in the school's bathroom. there is a graffiti on the wall with "i see you" and a little doodle of two blue eyes. in their world, whoever wrote this was obviously not doing this in vecna's name. it's a random person who randomly decided oto have some fun and graffiti this particular thing. in a meta way, this is referencing vecna. it's not a coincidence. especially considering this is a max scene and her arc is very closely linked to vecna this season. do you see where i'm going with this ? mike in hawkins indiana 1985, saying "i have an idea, boys only." is just letting lucas and will know that he figured out how to stop billy and that this plan requires going somewhere max and el can't follow. in their world, that's it ! but in our world, in the double meaning way (which is a very real thing, if you insinuate the stranger things dialogue, or most of cinema dialogues are "not that deep" you are quite literally insulting writers everywhere, like. straight up), in the "this is a character who's words are chosen by someone else with purpose" way, this particular phrasing is meaningful. he didn't say "i have a plan, follow me to the men's locker room guys". the writers chose a specific phrasing. it's even more obvious recontextualized : mike JUST fought with will, who told him his obsession with growing up was ruining them and the party. mike, affected by those words tries to figure out what that whole argument and his own reaction to it means to and for him. he has an idea to figure it out, and it is to let himself wander into "what if... i was..." territory as we do see in the second half of S3. (i would include screencaps but i can't be bothered rn)

mike's reaction at the end of s3 aka the conclusion of his S3 arc (in 3 parts : pushing dnd and queerness away because it's not socially acceptable -> why am i even doing this ? why am i acting like this -> right. i'm actually gay and terrified to be.) goes something like this : a scene flirting with will, followed by a scene of el kissing him and not reciprocating, followed by a scene that is shot in the same way a scene in which a character realizes something shows us the conclusion that mike has come to about himself : yes, he is gay. his own theory about himself actually being into boys was the correct theory. i think that answers the second part of your ask. someone choosing for mike to lay out his plans with this choice of words at this particular moment in the story is heavy queercoding. had it been dustin (random choice, he wasn't even there), whose narrative is simply not mike's, it would have been meaningless. it wouldn't even have been worded like that. in the case of mike, because it is mike and because of the nature of his storyline, it isn't.

#ignore the weird grammar and typos i am but a french native lad after all #i hope this is concise enough anon i feel like i kinda went everywhere with this #anon #asks #gay mike wheeler

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Hello, can I ask what do you mean "in canon it's impossible for Sherlock to settle down with a woman"? Like, as a fan of Holmes and always read the books since middle school, I'm kinda confuse here, I don't mean anything negative. Sorry, do you think Poirot (from Agatha Christie) is also queer?

Maybe because I grew up with very religious mother and lived in anti-LGBTQ country, I'm kinda slow in picking up subtext. Like until now I'm still kinda confuse with my friend who have ships from any fandoms (but I still love to hear and read her headcanons or fics about those characters)....

I really agree with you, I've seen many Holmes' adaptations (cartoon, tv series, manga) but Yuumori is clearly the closest to Doyle's works. Do you think the mangaka also love to read Holmes' books?

Story time! (Welcome to "Hyper answers asks like an old lady going on an hour long barely-on-topic tangent at the slightest prompting.)

I totally get where you're coming from, I was raised in like...knockoff Southern Baptist churches. Growing up, homosexuality was presented to me as a sexual perversion incapable of involving real love. It's kind of silly, but it's true: a ship was a big part of changing that for me. I read Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle as a teenager, and Kurogane and Fai had something that was inescapably romantic and beautiful but never strictly sexual (tho the potential is certainly there). Between that and an online community of LGBTQ+ adults who were incredibly patient and kind towards me even when I was suuuuper ignorant, I started to open up towards queer relationships as...well, just relationships. Relationships that can encompass sex and also encompass love and friendship and communication and partnership and all those other things I'd been taught were exclusive to monogamous straight people. And then, even as terrified as I was, I was eventually able to face the fact that I'd always had crushes on girls just as often as crushes on guys. So yeah, there's a reason Kurofai is my ship of all ships, the actual One True Pairing for me. Because it cracked open a door just enough that I could slowly lever it open the rest of the way. There seem to be quite a lot of anecdotes like this: women enjoying BL/mlm ships is often seen as fetishy (which can certainly be part of it) but for some reason I can't fully articulate it also seems to sometimes be a means for girls and women to explore their own not-straightness.

ANYWAY. SHERLOCK HOLMES. Tbh I'm not gonna go too in-depth because I would bet good money that there are a bunch of scholarly articles on Holmes' queerness. People have probably done their doctorate theses on this! Much smarter and more well-read folks than I have already covered the topic. For me, it really boils down to: he never outright expresses sexual or romantic interest in anyone (we must resist the urge to assume his respect for Irene Adler is romantic just because he is a man and she is a woman). He's almost certainly on the asexual spectrum. But when he does exhibit symptoms one might associate with romantic and/or sexual interest (particularly romantic, imo), it's always towards men (usually Watson, of course). For example, notable flirt John Watson saying that Holmes blushes at his compliments the way a girl does is...suggestive.

The whole thing is complicated by Watson being (in my opinion at least) an unreliable and sometimes downright petty narrator. He keeps going on spiels about Holmes being cold and heartless, only to turn around and describe him greeting his friends warmly and being emotionally moved by music and baby-talking puppies and charming old ladies. It makes Watson sometimes come across as one of those allo people who are so unable to conceive of a life without romantic and/or sexual desire that they start dehumanizing those who don't experience it. Alternatively and maybe more charitably, he just has a big ol' crush on Holmes, is understandably alarmed by it given the time period, and gets bitchy and defensive when he feels it might not be reciprocated.

But ultimately...do I think Arthur Conan Doyle sat down at a desk in the late 19th century/early 20th century and was like "I am going to write some ace queer representation for the tumblr girlies (gn)"? Obviously not. 😅 I do think he might have set out to create a character who very deliberately did not need to have the otherwise almost obligatory straight romantic side-plot. Holmes is never in any way set up as having a life headed towards marriage and children, in spite of how typical that was for the time. The companionship he does express a need and desire for comes in the form of another man. He's "lost without [his] Boswell." He sneakily buys Watson's practice out from under him so he'll be free to move back in and go on more adventures with him. He threatens violence when Watson is hurt. Etc etc. I think it's very fair to interpret it all through a queer lens, the quibble would be more in whether that queerness ever manifests sexually.

I definitely think the Yuumori creators have not only read ACD but also other fiction based on the stories, possibly even including some very old pastiches like this one. I love how seemingly nerdy they are about it haha! The series is full of easter eggs and callouts to other Holmesian works.

As for Poirot, I know very little about the character beyond a few episodes of the show I watched as a young'un, but that is not the mustache of a straight man (I'm joking I'm joking I have absolutely no opinion on that one! 🤣)

Thanks for the ask, and for actually reading this ramble if you got this far! 😅

#acd holmes #acd canon #yuukuko no moriarty #kurofai #rambling #asks

[wack-ashimself]

Liking the first season of 'Torchwood' BUT...

See, I knew of the show 10 years ago. Watched some of it. Hated it. Forgot about it. But was watching like top 10 most shocking tv deaths (or something like that) and they had season 4 (did NOT know they had that many) of 'Torchwood' on there, saying how the latter two seasons were SOLID AF compared to the first 2 seasons.

And I am getting into it. On the 1st season finale. But I gotta say this show has so many plot holes (record setting for just 1 fucking season), and characters who make the wrong call EVERY TIME, you wonder...who am I supposed to cheer for? Cuz, by the numbers, Torchwood has hurt far more than it helped so far.

The lead-she cheated on her boyfriend (with EASE. It felt weird how easy it was for her being in a committed relationship), drugged him, erased his memory, lied to him, and then (Spoilers) got him killed. Also thru negligence, released an alien that killed a BUNCH of dudes.

The butler-he literally chanced cyber men taking over the world, and got an innocent genius doctor killed, cuz he was too much of a COWARD to let his clearly dying gf go.

Tech lady-She reads everyone's deepest darkest thoughts, then got mad when Jack sent an alien who had been murdering for centuries into the sun. She's not bad, per say, more...neutral. She's harmed the least, for sure. That's such a low bar, tho...

Captain Jack-The original reason I watched the show. I LOVED his character on Dr Who. But...this is not him. Not the same guy. Not the free spirited, happy, goofy, witty, always ready, near-god. No. This is an immortal having a mid mid mid life crisis cuz he's lived so long and WANTS to die. Seriously, cuz of his shit, and the lead's, this is like a partial drama. I will say, tho, he has had to make some TOUGH calls which did not make him well liked, but I respected him cuz you knew, deep down, it had to be done, and no one else was gonna do it*.

The doctor-In the finale I am on, he was fired. And I hope his character dies. I fucking hate him. I hate his face, his voice, his actions, his brain; everything. He convinces the noobie to cheat with him, after he basically mouth rapes her. He's angry ALL the time, yells at people thinking he's a genius when he's like the 3rd smartest. He 'falls in love' with a women, tries to demand her to stay, and gets all pity party after ONE WEEK WITH HER. Can you fall madly in love in a week? Sure. But suicidal and a threat to others cuz 'you're sad'? Go fuck yourself, you bitch. Oh, and he basically openly chooses to chance ending the world NOT because he wants to save his team mates (tho he claims that) but because he's tired of being a bitch to the time tear (or whatever the fuck they call it).

So...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CHEERING FOR? Jack is the only semi cool character, and he's still kinda an ass. They're ALL kinda...selfish, short sighted, fuckers.

But I will finish this series. Because, storywise, the themes and plots they got going, are HIGHLY original and almost always have 1-3 good twists I don't see coming. You don't understand: I have been exposed to so much media, I can predict most things I see within a short period of time (even whole movies from trailers). I'm SO good (or writing is THAT predictable) I actually can, based on context, guess, WORD FOR WORD some lines. Sometimes in real time. Not usually. But not too far off, either.

*I will say, the call the writers/show/characters are supposed to hate was Jack giving the child to the faeries. NO. GREAT call. Best call you could make. Every other call would have sucked. See-the girl was fucking evil. Sociopath. Straight up. Like the faeries. She hated everyone. Talked to no one, but the faeries. She was borderline evil. And the faeries straight up said if you don't give us the kid, we will kill en mass, starting with HER ENTIRE SCHOOL. And the girl WANTED to go. So...where's the problem giving up the kid? Her mom's sad? Who gives a shit. You just saved TONS of lives, an evil fucking kid is gone, and the fairies disappeared. Only one who really lose was the mom. Her long time boyfriend (he was an ass) and her kid: BOTH GONE, SAME DAY. That is cruel, but long run, genuinely, it's even best for her. Her boyfriend was abusing her kid behind her back, and her kid was cheering on the torture of kids. It's a win-win-win. Fuck you for trying to make me feel bad for him giving up the kid. She wanted to go, and I wanted her to go. Fuck her.

#torchwood #faeries #captain jack harkness #dr who #doctor who #spoiler #spoilers #but the show came out in early 2000s so come on!

[aalyssah]

Friendly Competition

Pairing: Kris Statlander x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff!

Word Count: 1,101

Summary: A prank with your girlfriend and her friends leads to ‘friendly’ drawing competitions.

A/N: First time writing for Kris because I was thinking about how much I miss her. Hope You Enjoy!

You and Kris quietly tiptoed through the door of the locker room of Best Friends. You sneakily continued top toeing over to Orange Cassidy, who was sleeping on the couch, while Kris went over to Chuck.

You both made eye contact and pulled out a black marker. You both began drawing things on Chuck and Orange's face.

You couldn't contain the giggles that slipped out your mouth. They were so gonna hate you two. You drew other orange things on his face such as carrots, pumpkins, sweet potatoes, and of course, a penis.

You drew a little mustache against his lips and turned to look at Kris who also littered Chuck's face with drawings. Kris was more skilled than you at drawing, so everything on Chuck's face looked like art.

You both met up in the middle of the room, eyeing Trent. "Alright, what do we do about him?." You whispered, making sure to not wake anyone up. "I'll hold him down, and you draw, then we switch." You both nodded and walked over to Trent.

Kris held a firm grip on Trent while you drew. Trent is the tallest out of the group and the biggest, which means he has more strength. Not to mention that sometimes he moves in his sleep. You laughed at your drawings thinking they were funny.

Soon you and Kris switched places, with you holding Trent down while Kris got to work. She drew on every place you didn't, making sure his face was filled more that the others. You both really wanted to get revenge at the trio because they exposed your relationship to the fans.

Y'all wanted to keep it a secret because you know how the fans would react. Whether that's positive or negative, but they still did it and your words were, 'We'll get revenge.' So here you and Kris are, drawing on their faces.

When you and Kris felt like you did enough to the 3 of them, y'all scurried out the door. Y'all peeked around the corner, watching as they slowly came out there slumber.

Chuck was first to wake up. He went to the bathroom to go pee like he did every match, but what he saw made him scream. "AHH!" Trent and Orange got up fast, rushing to the bathroom, thinking there was something wrong.

"What? What's wrong-" Trent stopped and looked at himself. All three of the men were covered with stupid drawings. Chuck checked his phone and swore he almost passed out. "Guys, we have a match in 5 minutes!" For once, Orange's eyes grew wide. He could get out looking like that. It would ruin his gimmick.

The boys quickly started splashing water on their faces, trying to get the marker off, but it wasn't coming off.

Oh did you forget to mention that y'all chose sharpie markers?

Yeah, you and Kris were kinda cruel when it came to pranks, but that's what makes y'all such a great couple. Y'all couldn't stop yourselves from laughing. I guess y'all laughed too loud because Trent noticed you both and instantly knew. "You two."

You and Kris ran down the hall, into the women's locker room. "Babe, that was priceless! Did you see their faces when they realized?" You and Kris kept laughing, but it was even funnier when you turned the TV on.

The boys went out, but you could see the black outline of the drawings, faded. Even Excalibur commented, 'What's that on the Best friends' face?' After they won the match, they didn't waste time getting backstage after doing the signature hug.

You and Kris stood near the locker room, smirking. "Good job out there, boys. Hey, what's that on your face?" You teased, before laughing. "You don't understand how hard it is to get this off my face. I've been scrubbing my face with a washcloth for 10 minutes straight, and still made NO progress!"

You and Kris looked at each other, trying not to laugh at Chuck's anger. "You're gonna pay. The both of you." Kris scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, sure, I would love to see you try."

-

After the long night of messing with BFs and having a match, you wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and lay in bed with Kris. So that’s what you did.

You and Kris took a relaxing shower and laid in bed, cuddled up while watching some old horror movie. You soon fell asleep with Kris chasing after you.

2:46 AM

That was the time for Chuck, OC, and Trent to sneak in your hotel room. They had a card just in case for emergencies, so that came in handy. They walked over to you and Kris’s sleeping. Your was was curled in Kris’s neck while her head was buried in your hair.

It was gonna be a chalice to move you two, but they would figure it out. “Chuck, you got the markers?” Trent whispered. Chuck pulled out the various colored sharpie markers and smiled. They carefully moved Kris's bodies and began to work.

With Orange Cassidy colors things with orange and blue, Chuck using purple and red, and Trent using green and brown. Trent used green on Kris, knowing how mad she would be. The boys had to hold in their giggles as they drew things in your faces. They couldn’t wait to see y’all’s reaction.

They finished up the final touches and stood back, looking at their masterpiece. “Alright guys, we did enough. Let’s go.” The trio went out of the room and went back to theirs, going to sleep, looking forward to y’all waking up.

-

The moment you and Kris woke up y’all saw each other's face and almost screamed. Instantly, y’all went to the bathroom and tried washing off the marker, but it was too late. With it being on your skin for so many hours, it will take days for it to at least fade. Not to mention that it was bright colors, making it stand out more.

You and Kris stormed outside, ready to go fight the boys, but they were already out there, smirking. “Oh, what’s that in y’all’s faces?” Trent mocked in a girl voice. “Are you serious? We have a tag match for the titles tonight!” You complained, stomping your foot.

Orange Cassidy shrugged his shoulders. “That’s what makeup is for. Just cover them up.” Kris scoffed. “Why are y’all doing this to us?!” Chuck held his hands up in defense. “Hey, calm down. It’s just a friendly competition.”

You rolled your eyes and went back inside slamming the door.

#kris statlander #kris statlander fluff #kris statlander imagine #kris statlander x reader #kris statlander smut #kris statlander fanfiction #aew fluff #aew imagine #aew smut #wrestling imagines

[runthepockets]

The craziest thing about transitioning and primarily dating / fucking a lot of trans women is watching them do shit to me that my traumatized high school ex girlfriend did to both boys her age and older men a lot of the time; using me and my sexuality as an easy source of validation. I can count on two hands the amount of times a trans woman has put the moves on me and seen me as an easy lay, only to chicken out or fly off the handle when I reciprocate or try to do anything irl, much like my ex girlfriend did with her male friends. Sex is a power thing in these situations, a source of social capital and control rather than a genuine means of bonding or connecting with another human being, which is why they see it as ok to approach me with shallow intent, but not the inverse. Somewhat like when your mom has a bad day at work and yells at you over trivial shit like having socks on the floor in your room, it's a way to regain that autonomy and time that's stolen and beaten out of you.

And I mean, I get it. Look at how our society treats women and girls and their sexualities. There are several derogatory words and phrases in the English language alone that condemn women for wanting anything, women in tv and film for decades now have had nothing to offer except their breasts hips and asses, femme fatale tropes were pretty much everywhere from the 80s to the mid 2010s, the MeToo movement of the last decade, conflicting ideas in feminist spaces that give little to no consideration of intersectionality, throw being a trans woman in a patriarchal society in the mix and of course you're going to walk away with some screwed up ideas about sexuality. Hell, even as a guy who wasn't the primary target of a lot of that shit, I have some pretty screwed up ideas of it myself. Tbh after years of being a social nobody, it's kinda nice to be that sort of beacon of male authority for somebody that clearly wants approval in a way I can provide by just, existing. I'm a horny, straight, masculine guy, and I like female attention. We're both getting validation of some sort out of it. It's definitely a mutual thing, and it's kinda cool. It's one of those things that's gender affirming, even if it's in a very roundabout and vaguely disrespectful way.

But still, I'm a human being. All institutional and political connotations aside. I have feelings and needs, I very rarely harbor resentment or malice, so while I absolutely sympathize with these women and their traumas and try to be patient, I wish they would grant me the same graces. I really fucking hate that our society has screwed women over so much and continues to do so so often that even in trans spaces this kind of stuff is unavoidable. "Men only want one thing" taken to its logical extreme is kinda the overarching theme in all this. It feels like shit being seen as disposable or an easy quick lay / itch you need to scratch that you never have to think about again when I actually, genuinely am attracted to and care about trans women as friends and lovers, and actually want to build relationships with a lot of them instead of being seen as a walking dildo. Like I said, this mindset isn't entirely new and it's not the fault of any singular woman, nor is it unique to trans people, this has been a recurring pattern in spaces where marginalized men and women date each other since the fucking dawn of time. But damn is it frustrating. I wanna write a case study on shit like this when I'm older and significantly more secure.

#I'm kinda glad I dated my dipshit ex in high school or I would be very confused and taking a lot of this shit super personally. #And it does get to me don't get me wrong but I've seen it happen so many times just by virtue of dating and befriending women in the 21st #century. Shit is so fucked and until there's a large scale solution rather than 'go to therapy' it's just gonna keep being like this #fuck patriarchy fr.

[aloeverawrites]

Tips for dark academia fashion

I've had a difficult time coming up with outfits for a few reasons so these tips are especially helpful for trans masculine people, autistic people or people who have sensory issues, and people trying to dress vegan.

-Try looking for clothes in second-hand stores.

It's better for the environment, and for the you.

The clothes are cheaper, so not as big of a deal if you change your mind about them later.

If you accidentally buy something that's made out of animals, like fur, leather or wool, it doesn't cause as much harm. Your money isn't going directly to a company that exploits/kills animals.

There's also a larger variety of clothes, so you can find things with the right textures that won't mess up you up.

Finally, a lot of the things are donated because they're older or out of fashion, which means it's a good collection of vintage clothing.

-Items to add to your wardrobe.

Waistcoats are really nice, especially if they're made out of a soft fabric. I have one made out of polyviscose with a polyesther lining, and it's so comfortable. And since it's secondhand, I don't feel bad about buying plastic. As for sensory issues, the waistcoat is kind of a nice sort of pressure and it makes me feel better when I'm walking around in public. Feels like a hug, 10/10.

Plaid flannel button-ups. I didn't think that it was particularly dark academia but it actually works really well as a second layer. Under a coat it just looks like a sweater vest or something, they're really nice. Again it's important that's it soft, and if it's a re-purposed pyjama top no one has to know. Plus flannel is usually vegan and made out of cotton, which is ethical and really comfortable.

Solid colour button ups. These are easy to pair with coats and plaid flannel layers. I bought a bunch of really comfortable button-ups from an op-shop, you can sleep in them if you wanted, they're lovely. The one I'm wearing now is a polyesther/cotton blend so again it's vegan.

Coats and jackets. I bought a jacket recently but it's a bit scratchy so it's been banished to the depths of my closet, lol. But hey it cost five bucks so who cares really. I also got a coat that is the love of my life. It's kind of heavy so that's a really nice pressure to have when you're out and about, very grounding. It also has inside pockets. I really recommend the inside pockets. Coats are very timeless and you see them a lot in like British tv (Endeavour, Doctor who, Sherlock) so I really associate them with vintage/dark academia. I'm not completely sure what my coat is made of as the label was torn/chewed off (part of the op-shop charm), but the lining feels like the lining of my waistcoat, kind of a viscous silky feeling. (Though hopefully it's not actually silk.) The outside is kind of a soft cottony feel. I don't think it's wool because I have a wool allergy and I would have perished by now.

Scarves. I bought a light blue viscose scarf which is really soft. You can also buy really light square scarves to hang on the walls for a bit of drama, especially if they have nice colours or pictures.

Pants. As for pants a straight leg black or brown pair would work with most outfits. I bought a polyester pair on sale at a hiking goods store, and they're really light and comfortable because of that.

Hats. They really do make an outfit vintage but, yeah. I've yet to find a hat that doesn't make me look strange. The reputation of fedoras have been forever sullied so we're not even going there. I'm currently on the hunt for a baker boy cap that doesn't make me look like an idiot, I will let you know if I ever succeed.

So some general tips when it comes to dressing vintage/dark academia with these limitations:

-Dressing to "pass" as a transmasculine dude.

They weren't lying button-ups really do help.

If you dress vintage, you might be read more a a guy. In the 1920s or similar time periods, people were more strict on separating men's and women's clothing, so old-fashion clothing is generally read as either feminine or masculine. Kind of depressing for people back then but at least we can use it to our advantage now-

If you're wearing a coat, flannel and button-ups, all of those layers can hide your chest so you don't have to worry as much about binding. Also the cut of the coat might be able to give you a more "masculine" shape and provide that good gender euphoria.

These layers don't cling to the body as much as cotton t-shirts, so even if you're just wearing one button-up it can hide things well and give you the shape you want.

These are donated by a bunch of older dudes so if you're like me they'll look huge on you. A lot of fashion sites say not to do this but personally I prefer looking like I'm drowning in a shirt. But if you want them to fit better you can alter them or kind of fold them into a waistcoat.

Rolling up your sleeves and buttoning them is pure gender euphoria. I love it.

-Dressing with ethical materials

Second hand clothing reduces your environmental impact and keeps clothes out of the landfill.

Using plant-based fibres instead of animal based ones means that animals aren't being harmed for your wardrobe. The moral issues with fur are present with all kinds of animal clothing, eg (and trigger warning) leather means that calves are shot, wool means that sheep are cut during shearing and eventually sent to slaughter, silk means that silkworms are boiled alive.

It can also be better for the environment as animal agriculture is a leading cause of climate change.

It can help human rights issues, as having to kill/handle animals can be mentally and physically harmful to workers. There's also the problems with leather tanning affecting water supplies and causing cancer in workers.

-Dressing for sensory issues

A lot of these materials like cotton, viscose and flannel are really soft so they won't cause sensory issues.

Feel free to go through op-shops and just touch fabric until you find something that's really comfortable. You don't have to settle, take home an outfit made of clouds and dreams. Plus op-shops have a lot of cool dark academia things like doilies, candleholders and antique paintings, so you'll probably want to go through them anyway. Might as well get some clothes while you're at it.

The low-cost can make it easier to quickly create a new wardrobe that doesn't make your skin want to escape.

Heavy coats or waistcoats can provide a pressure that's grounding and comfortable.

So there you have it, a very specific dark academia fashion guide. Hope it's helpful!

#dark academia #clothing #fashion #trans #trans masc #passing #vegan #vegan for the animals #sustainable #enviromentalism #enviromental #autism #actually autistic #autistic #sensory #sensory issues #disability #vintage #dressing vintage

[pinefem]

Can we just like, talk about the bad/non-existent representation we have for female characters? I grew up with it. I lived with it. It's a big reason why I began to identify as trans and distance myself from other women. The influences are still with me.

I woke up this morning and remembered when I was younger and my favourite character was Spock and my favourite thing was werewolves, and I wished I could have a female character like Spock, or a female werewolf that was actually well written, and I could never find it. Obsession after obsession with male characters, and I eventually lost any interest I had in female characters, because simply put, most are boring. Most are given no personality beyond loving men and makeup. Most women in shows are plot devices to advance the stories of the male protagonists, often to uncomfortable degrees, though no one realizes it. It's not overt, not something that's shouted from rooftops. It's just a pattern. Women just fade into the background, to serve as nothing but supports, and it's normal to us. Fictional women are written like that, and young, aspiring writers learn to write their women like that too. It's a cycle which goes on and on and on.

Now for some examples... The show I am currently watching is the Flash. Spoilers ahead! So. Does it have some strong, interesting female characters? Yeah! Caitlyn Snow, Lisa Snart, and yeah, Iris. Those characters had so much potential, but instead all the standouts are men. Harrison Wells got to be the sinister, merciless villain, then the dickish genius, and the goofy phony. Snart gets to be a villain who has a heart of gold, and a soft spot for his sister. Eddie gets to be the clearheaded one who's dragged into it against his will but sacrifices himself anyway. Cisco is adorable. He's funny, charming, and he cares for others. Generally a great, funny guy. On the other hand, Caitlyn is a bit guarded, sure, but her main personality trait is missing her fiance. Lisa Snart acts dumb and sexy to get what she wants. Iris' main purpose is being Barry's best friend. Yes, plenty of women have and care for boyfriends and it's not wrong to write a story about a woman pining for a man, but most women have personality traits beyond that. I also think that it's just cheap. Men aren't written to only care about their partners. Actually, a lot of the men in the Flash don't have partners. Even if they do, they are their own people away from them. They always have something else going on. So... Yeah the women aren't written well, but that's something you only notice if you're looking. This is something which is not limited to the Flash. It is a very very common pattern, which can be found in most TV shows made for older audiences. Comtrary to popular belief, it is not normal or okay.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have Arcane. This is the one show I've watched in which female characters take the forefront. In fact, I think Arcane opened my eyes to a lot of the male centrism in TV shows that I'd previously missed. I didn't know what I was missing until I saw Arcane, but it feels right. There are female-only fight scenes which are straight up messy brawls. The story doesn't center men at all and it is amazing. I didn't even really know how good female characters could be until I watched Arcane, but it's one of a kind. Most women are not written like that, and going back to other shows, you see it.

These influences are all so subtle, but if you see bad female characters over and over again, you never learn to write them in any other way, unfortunately. That is still with me. I'm still working to write female characters which don't fall into the familiar grooves of sexism in the media. I'm still working to find the same passion for female characters that I have for male characters. It's hard, but possible. I encourage other women to keep an eye out for it. Stop telling yourself that female characters are just less interesting. Stop ignoring it when women serve as nothing but support systems for men. Stop thinking it's unrealistic for women to be written like male characters. Stop letting it just be okay, and get mad about it. Get upset. Break the cycle. People will tell you it's okay, but it's not. Women deserve representation. You can think that.

#female representation #terf safe #writing #radical feminist #terfs welcome #radfem #radical feminists do interact #terfs do interact #tv shows #female characters

[endlessbittersweetdreams]

SUMMARY: Robyn deals with the fallout of her breakup with Ethan.

AUTHOR'S REQUEST: As always, I ask that you leave a comment and reblog the heck out of this story if you enjoy it. I don’t want "my baby," to be buried.

SONG CREDIT: "You're Not Sorry," by Taylor Swift.

NOTE: I finally got around to reading the "Sweetbitter," novel. In the novel, Jake's nickname for Simone is "Moni." I figured I'd incorporate that into this story.

CASTING CREDIT: Although he's only mentioned briefly in this chapter, I am introducing a new character: Frank Kessler. If this were a movie or a TV series, and if I were in charge of casting, I'd go with Dermot Mulroney. So whenever Frank is mentioned, that's who I want you to picture portraying him.

     Robyn lounged in one of the arm chairs, nursing a glass of whiskey. Her mind was clouded with sorrow, not to mention alcohol, and the weight of her sadness felt unbearable. On her lap was a bag of assorted cream-filled chocolates, most of which had already been devoured. Thank goodness she was a member of the local gym, because she could only imagine how many carbs and calories she'd consume by the end of the night.

     Looking over at Chloe and Sam, who were lounging on the sofa, Robyn let out a heavy sigh. "I just can't believe he did this. After all that we've been through, after all the plans we made ... how could he do this?"

     Sam picked up the whiskey bottle and poured herself another shot. "Well, I'll tell you how. He's a pig! Let's face it! Men are pigs!"

     "Not all men!" Chloe argued. "Will isn't."

     Sam had always been skeptical of relationships, and she held a pessimistic view of the opposite sex. Rolling her eyes, she said "All right. Will is the exception, but not the rule. But most guys - especially the ones who seem decent - are pigs. They're only after one thing, and they'll do whatever it takes to get it."

     Robyn let out a humorless laugh. "Well, Ethan certainly had me fooled." She shook her head in disgust. "I can't believe I fell for his lies. I suspected that he was fooling around with Madeline, but --"

     Chloe gave her friend a sympathetic look. "You said it yourself: he looked you straight in the eyes and told you that he wasn't involved with Madeline. And let's be honest. He had us all fooled."

     Robyn turned her gaze to her dark-haired friend. "Except for Sam. You saw right through him. Didn't you?"

     "Yeah. I guess I did," Sam acknowledged with a nod.

     "Why didn't you say something?"

     "Honestly?" Sam hesitated for a moment, letting out a sigh. "All I had was my suspicion. I didn't have proof. And believe me! I searched for it. I waited for them to slip up, but they never did. I'm sorry, Rob."

     Robyn's expression softened. "It's not your fault, Sam."

     "And it's not your fault, either."

     "I know. Though he'd certainly love to place the blame on me." Robyn's eyes narrowed in anger. "Do you know what he said to me? He actually had the audacity to say that it's because I've changed." When Chloe and Sam gave her a shocked look, she continued. "Yeah. He said that ever since the attack, I haven't been the same. I'm not the fun, vivacious Robyn he fell in love with."

     "That asshole!" Sam blurted out.

     "He's not an asshole." Chloe paused before she elaborated. "He's a narcissistic, lying, conniving, arrogant asshole. And you're better off without him, Rob."

     "Amen to that!" Sam clinked her glass against Chloe's, and both women downed their whiskey simultaneously.

     "For once, I'm not going to argue with you." Robyn reached into the bag of chocolates and pulled one out, fidgeting with the ends of the wrapper. "I just don't know what I'm going to do now. I thought I had my life figured out. It seemed to be laid out before me. Now it's like I'm a crossroads, and I just don't know which path to take. I have no map. No plan. No clue."

     Chloe, ever the optimist, smiled at her. "Well, that's the beauty of it." Sam and Robyn both gave her a skeptical look. "I know it's scary, Robyn. But now that you're free of Ethan, you have the chance to explore different paths. Try new things. Find out who you are. You can find yourself again."

     "And you can do it without a man tying you down," Sam declared. And then, with a mischievous smirk, she added "Unless you're into that kind of thing," a comment that elicited a little chuckle from Robyn.

     Choosing her words carefully, Chloe remarked "And remember: not all guys are like Ethan. I mean, Jake did look after you when you needed him the most."

     "And he did it without expecting anything in return ... that we know of," Sam stated.

     Robyn nodded in agreement. "You're right. I don't know how he put up with me," she murmured, and her friends exchanged a knowing glance.

     "He cares for you," Chloe pointed out.

     "I think it's more than that. It's obvious that wants you. Desperately," Sam chimed in.

     Robyn's heart warmed at the idea. Not only had Jake looked after her, but there had been other things that indicated that he harbored feelings for her. His smile lingered a little while longer when he was with her, and his touch still felt like an electric current. During breakfast, she'd caught him stealing glances, his gaze filled with something deeper than concern. She'd tried to brush off all of these clues, but now she could no longer deny that maybe, just maybe ...

     "All right. There's a chance that he has feelings for me. And I may feel the same way. But it's too soon to jump into a new relationship, and I would never ask him to wait for me. It wouldn't be fair to him."

     Chloe bit her bottom lip, hesitating. Technically, she hadn't promised Jake that she'd keep his feelings for Robyn a secret. And the cat was pretty much out of the bag, so to speak. It wasn't as though she could stand idly by and watch as her friend struggled with uncertainty.

     "What if he's already decided to wait for you?" The blonde squirmed under Robyn's suspicious gaze. "All right. I admit it. Jake and I talked, and ... long story short, he's willing to wait until you're ready."

     Robyn's eyes widened in surprise. After all, she had it on good authority that Jake had vowed to never allow himself to get close to a woman. Now he'd promised to wait for her? A swirl of emotions filled her as memories of heartbreak and false promises flashed before her, warning her to be cautious. Deep down, though, she knew that what Chloe said carried weight.

     "See?" Sam began, grinning at Robyn. "Told ya so!"

     Robyn laughed a bit. "Yes, Sam. You're always right," she teased, and the woman in question raised her glass in agreement.

     The interior designer looked around her living room, letting out a sigh. Her gaze landed on the framed photograph of herself with Ethan. They were smiling and holding hands as they stood on one of Maui's sandy beaches, the beautiful colors of a Hawaiian sunset spread behind them.

     "This picture ... It was taken during our first vacation together. Our only vacation," she remarked sadly, running a finger over their glass-encased images. "We were happy back then." She set the photograph down, and then her eyes began to scan the room again. "I never realized how many things I have in here that remind me of him. I suppose I should get rid of them."

     Chloe and Sam exchanged a sympathetic look. "What do you want to do with the pictures?" Chloe wondered.

     Robyn considered her options for a few seconds. When her relationship with Andrew ended, she'd tucked photographs and other memories into a floral-print memory box that she kept on a shelf of her closet. Though she never opened it, she liked the idea of having memories of her first love nearby. But that relationship had ended amicably, and its dissolution was due to Robyn and Andrew wanting different things. Thanks to the pain Ethan had inflicted upon her, Robyn wanted nothing to do with items that reminded her of their failed relationship. So a memory box was definitely out of the question.

     "Shred them," was her simple response.

     While Robyn retreated to her bedroom to gather items associated with Ethan, Sam and Chloe proceeded to do the same in the living room. By the time she returned, a heart-print shoebox in her hands, her friends had just finished removing pictures from the frames. The women took the two steps that led up to Robyn's makeshift office space, and Robyn set the shoebox down on her desk. With shaky hands, she slowly removed the lid and set it aside. Inside the box were ticket stubs, seashells, a lei, random photographs, love letters, and other items that were all connected to Ethan.

     She picked up one of the photographs and let out a steadying breath, looking at it for a few seconds. "All right. Here goes nothing."

     Robyn switched on the shredder and fed the photograph into it, the sound echoing through the apartment. She moved on to the next picture, and then the next and so on. These photographs, once cherished, were now nothing more than a collection of fragmented, broken memories. And as the last picture disappeared into the shredder, Robyn let out a deep breath as a mixture of relief and sadness filled her. Her task complete, she shut off the shredder and let out a heavy sigh.

     "What are you going to do with the rest?" Chloe inquired, nodding at the memory box.

     Robyn stared down at what little remained, picking up a trinket as she did so. With a shrug, she answered "They can go to the rubbish bin, I suppose."

     Chloe and Sam watched as Robyn walked over to the garbage bin, stepped on the pedal, and proceeded to dump the contents of the memory box into the trash. Tears welled up in her eyes and threatened to fall at any moment, but she steeled herself. There would be no more crying over Ethan, she decided. She'd done that long enough, and he didn't deserve her tears.

     "I'm tired," Robyn softly announced, her voice filled with the exhaustion and relief she felt. "Thank you for being here with me. I don't think I could have done any of this without you."

     Sam and Chloe gave their heartbroken friend a smile, each of them drawing her into an embrace. With a grateful heart, Robyn bid her friends goodnight and promised to keep them updated. On her way out, Sam joked (Or, at least, Robyn hoped it was a joke!) that she'd stop by Ethan's apartment and let the air out of his tires.

     The door closed behind her friends, and Robyn's smile faded as she worried about the task she'd entrusted Sam with. Given the turmoil that brewed between herself and Ethan, Robyn had asked Sam to drop off Ethan's belongings at his office. Now she was wondering if that had been a mistake. Knowing Sam and her temper, it was very likely that she would end up "accidentally," breaking some of the items on the way to Ethan's office. Though the petty side of her honestly didn't care about the safety of Ethan's belongings, her concern was for her friend's welfare. Sam desperately needed her job, and Robyn hated the idea of her friend jeopardizing her employment because of her justifiable anger over Ethan's treatment of Robyn. She didn't know how Ethan would react if he suspected that Sam had purposefully damaged his possessions.

     After stashing the leftover pizza in the fridge and playing with Luna for a few minutes, Robyn shut off the lights and retreated to her bedroom. Staying true to her routine, Luna was the first to settled down on the bed. Robyn needed her, after all. And Luna was nothing if not diligent in tending to her human. As the cat curled up near the head of the bed, Robyn stepped into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Her hair tied back into a tidy ponytail, she took off the clothes she'd borrowed from Jake and carefully folded them. Smiling at his kindness, she set the clothes down on top of her dresser and proceeded to change into a simple nightgown.

     "All right, Luna. Time for bed."

     Luna let out a mournful meow as she was picked up and moved over. Robyn settled down beneath the covers and reached out to stroke the cat's head, and the Tonk immediately purred in response as she rested her head on Robyn's stomach and drifted off to sleep.

     In the darkness of her bedroom, Robyn's mind bounced back and forth between Jake and Ethan. Her heart sped up at the thought of Jake's feelings for her and his willingness to wait for her. If one good thing came from her open relationship with Ethan, it was Jake. The brooding bartender had entered her life like a breath of fresh air, awakening her senses and opening her eyes to new possibilities. She relished the idea that one day, when she was ready, they could pursue an actual, real, loving relationship.

     When her thoughts drifted back to Ethan, she felt caught in a moment of hesitation. Reaching for her phone on the nightstand, she faltered again. She took a deep breath, her fingers dancing across the screen as she typed out a brief message.

     Sam will be dropping your possessions off at your office tomorrow. Please return my belongings as soon as possible.

     Robyn let out a breath and hit SEND, her heart feeling heavy once more. A few minutes later, just as she was drifting off to sleep, her phone buzzed. Against her better judgment, she picked up the phone and read Ethan's reply.

     Please give me another chance, Robbie. I am sincerely sorry for what happened. Cheating on you was a stupid thing to do, and I believe we can still work things out.

     Robyn glared at the screen, her resolve refusing to falter. Did Ethan honestly think that she would forget about his betrayal? She deserved better, and she was determined to strive for happiness on her own terms.

     Your so-called apologies and false promises won't work this time. Nothing will change my mind. My mother always says that loving someone is a choice. If that's true, then guess what? I choose to STOP loving you. I'm moving on, and I don't want to hear from you or see you again. We're over. Accept that. Return my things and hand them over to Sam when she drops off your belongings. Goodbye, Ethan.

     Without a moment's hesitation, Robyn sent the message and then clicked on Ethan's contact information. She clicked on the option marked MORE and then immediately blocked his number, deleting him from her contacts in the process. A thought occurred to her, and she scrolled down to the newest addition to her list of contacts. Nibbling on her bottom lip, she typed out a brief but sincere message.

     I want to thank you again for being there for me, Jake. Your clothes are safe and sound, and looking forward to their eventual return. See you soon.

     - Robyn

     With a smile, Robyn sent the message and then plugged the phone into the charger. Pulling the covers up to her chin, she closed her eyes and drifted off into a somewhat peaceful slumber.

     Jake opened a door to the left of the entrance of Café Margaux, climbing the seventeen steps that led to Simone's cluttered studio apartment. He opened the door without knocking and then stepped inside, the tantalizing aroma of a well-cooked meal wafting toward him.

     Simone, who was in the process of clearing off her table, gave him a shake of her head. "You're late. And have you ever heard of knocking?" she chided.

     "Hello to you, too, Simone," was Jake's sarcastic reply as he slipped out of his leather jacket and shoes.

     Simone glanced up at him, her brows furrowing in frustration. "Where were you today? You were supposed to help me assemble my new bookcase."

     Jake shrugged. "I was busy. I'm here now. Aren't I?"

     Simone sighed, her tone and expression filled with disappointment. "Noah told me that you ran out on him last night. He said something about a family emergency, which is odd ... seeing as I'm your only family, and I'm perfectly fine."

     Jake's gaze wandered away, his response vague. "Yeah. Well, something came up."

     "If I had known that you'd run out like that, I wouldn't have recommended you to Noah in the first place. He needed your help, Jake. And I was under the impression that you needed the money."

     Jake narrowed his eyes at her, trying to keep his temper in check. But quite frankly, he was tired and hungry. Not to mention the fact that his mind was occupied by thoughts of a certain gorgeous, heartbroken woman who may or may not open her heart to him in the future. Needless to say, he wasn't in the mood to put up with Simone practically wagging her finger at him, as though he were a puppy who had destroyed her favorite pair of shoes. "So did you invite me over for dinner or for a lecture? 'Cause if it's a lecture, I'm not interested."

     Simone pursed her lips in annoyance, deciding to drop the subject for now. The timer dinged, and she shoved a stack of books into his arms. "Here. Make yourself useful. Finish clearing the table and then set it up. Dinner is almost ready."

     A half-hour later, the apartment was filled with an uncomfortable silence as Jake and Simone dined on Cornish game hen and wild rice salad. The clinking of glasses and cutlery echoed through the small space as his mind wandered elsewhere, and Simone's eyes narrowed in disapproval as his cell phone beeped.

     "Really, Jake! Can't you put the phone away?"

     Jake's lips curled into a small, but genuine smile when he saw who texted him. "Lighten up, Moni. It's not like the hen is going to walk off of the table," he responded as he typed a response and pressed SEND. Giving her a smug look, he set the phone down on the table and dug into the salad.

     Simone's aggravation increased. "You're insufferable."

     And you're working my last nerve, he wanted to tell her, settling for attacking his salad instead.

     Jake was the first to finish eating, and the way he scarfed down the food left Simone shaking her head in disapproval. Absentmindedly leaving his phone behind, he stepped into the area known as Simone's living room/bedroom and grudgingly began the process of assembling the bookcase. (Because goodness forbid Simone should do it herself!)

     Simone finished clearing the table, her irritation palpable as she observed him. His snarky attitude, combined with his evasiveness, left her frustrated. Not to mention that text message he'd received. Knowing that he would be distracted for a while, she left the dishes and utensils in the sink to soak. His back still turned to Simone, Jake was blissfully unaware of the fact that she had picked up the phone and was now in the process of reading the text message from Robyn.

     Simone's eyes widened as she read the text, the tight knot of worry constricting around her heart and stomach. Why on Earth would Jake want anything to do with that woman, given the way she'd treated him only a few months ago? Though Jake wouldn't admit it, Robyn had left him wounded and broken-hearted. And now, she'd somehow managed to weasel her way back into Jake's life? What was Jake thinking ... if he was thinking at all?

     Jake left a while later, having made sure that Simone's bookcase was properly assembled. Simone closed and locked the door, leaning against it as she let out a heavy sigh. She'd tried to talk him into staying the night, insisting that it was pouring outside and that he could sleep in her bed. But he seemed to sense that she didn't actually need him to stay, and so he'd rejected her offer with a shake of his head and a "Not tonight."

     Jake's refusal to stay triggered a wave of disappointment and frustration in Simone. She couldn't deny that she enjoyed the sense of being needed when he sought solace in her company. She couldn't help but feel that he was starting to pull away from her, just as he had when he was with Tess. She feared that history was repeating itself. Only this time, it was Robyn who was capturing Jake's attention and drawing his focus off of Simone.

     With determination, Simone approached her nightstand and opened the drawer. Grasping the leather-bound address book, she sat down on the bed and proceeded to flip through the pages until she found the entry she was searching for. She knew that what she was planning was drastic. But that old saying was true: desperate times often call for desperate measures. Not wanting to wait until Monday morning to speak with the man in question, she dialed his number and worked out what she was going to say as she listened to his answering machine.

     "Hello. You have reached the office of Frank Kessler, private investigator. I'm not in right now. Leave me a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

     The machine beeped, and a smile graced Simone's features as she said "Hello, Frank. This is Simone Hughes. There's someone I think you should look into, and I'd like to set up appointment to discuss things further. Call me at 555-324-0809. Thank you."

@anastacia-lynn

@peageetibbs

@kimmyiewrites

@mypsychoticlove

@ladyredstar1991

@thepaintedlady00

#tom sturridge #tom sturridge sweetbitter #jake sweetbitter #sweetbitter jake #sweetbitterstarz #jake x oc sweetbitter #sweetbitter fanfiction #sweetbitter #sweetbitter tv series #Youtube

[ghcstvalleychief]

I think it's a bit of generalization no? To dismiss all those who salivate over crappy bls? Sure there is fetishism, and those who fetishize ( i mean look at how many fanboys salivate over the slave!leia costume). But I don't think they are as unaware...I used to think that. But the more I go through their personal blogs, I feel like I had projected whatever negative things I had heard on all of them.

I don't know who shits on kp or what is their reason, but many fans of bl have their own reasons for liking the " less polished" stories. We all come from different places all over the world. We all have different experiences and sometimes we will take any lgbtq media no matter how cringey it is. That's our only release. Yes perhaps most times it is just about watching two guys rubbing it off...maybe that's wrong, I don't know. But maybe it's also something personal? I don't know.

In what world is that scenario any better? That's just like saying that people who are aware of their racism is better for it because they know they're racist. Honestly, that's even worse. You know you're a bigot and you're okay with that? Wow! I've been fetishized for a number of reasons and I guarantee it does not feel good. You're not treated like a real person. You're treated like an animal in a zoo; you're not treated like a human being who's more than just this thing a bigot can use to Other you.

How about you confront your bigotry and unlearn it? Now, that's a novel idea. That's what I really want. I don't care if you're well aware of being racist or aware of the fact that you fetishize people, how about you unlearn it? How about you examine why people feel uncomfortable about the fact that you engage in this behavior to begin with? Listen to the people affected by it and learn something from it. There's a privilege in being able to fetishize the 'abnormal' and the 'exotic', isn't there? Fanboys fetishized and sexualized Slave!Leia, and Carrie Fisher coming out and emphasizing that Leia was forced to wear that costume and the character didn't choose to wear it; she was a prisoner. There's a privilege in seeing that costume as a sexual thing when the context of it has far more troubling consequences because everyone internalizes the media they consume.

If you're not an individual who is apart of the LGBT+ community, you must ask yourself why you find your 'freedom' in this community that you shunned and forced into the closet for centuries. Apo was essentially chased out of the country and the industry because they didn't think he was 'masculine' enough and you guys really don't believe this sightseeing expedition in the LGBT+ community has any negative real world consequences whatsoever. I'm not assuming anything about his sexuality or gender expression, but I am emphasizing how people treat individuals in the real world who don't fit the stereotypical role based on what society deems as 'normal.' The fetishization isn't doing anyone any favors if the privileged people engaging in it aren't using their privilege to change the way these people are being treated. Straight women who enjoy getting their rocks off to this type of thing while not using their privilege to change how these people are being treated in the real world will never fail to annoy me. You're having fun enjoying these attractive men simulate sex on TV but you're also laughing when your boyfriend refuses to leave these people alone in real life because he's too busy harassing them for who they are. Or worse, you don't say anything at all and he takes your silence as acceptance.

#anonymous #answered asks #use your privilege for good #but that may be asking for too much for the privileged #it's amazing #I've had horrible experiences with people who fetishized me #so yes; I do have negative opinions about these people #sorry not sorry

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

I apologise in advance if this is actually rude or insensitive, and feel free to tell me yo go f mysrlf lmao. My issue with trans community is them not seeing women as people, at least that's what I see. FtMs feel they are better than them (because they are Men) and for them women are inferior beings whose role is to be their supportive partners, sex objects (hi, traditional gender roles), for MtFs women are fantasies made of stereotypes about makeup, dresses and ~being cute and submissive~, and when women are against this image of femininity, it's called being transphobic. What are your thoughts?

I think there's a lot to say about that topic, cuz you are right that there are people like that. But I don't think it's fair to say it's everyone in the trans community. I'm gonna break it down to explain some stuff, so get ready for a long post.

General:

-remember that there will always be bad apples. Within any group-- be it trans, cis, gay, straight, etc-- there is gonna be dicks. That doesn't mean the community they are apart of is all like that and because of that they shouldn't be used as a representative of said community.

Reasons for trans men acting sexist:

-they could just be legitimately sexist and just a shitty person

-over compensation of some kind? A lotta trans people feel like they gotta prove themselves sometimes and that can end up coming off as really rude. It gets a very "I'm better than you" vibe. Doesn't mean it's ok by any means tho. If you're being a dick you're being a dick regardless of the reason.

-resentment from how they were forced to be raised as a women when they weren't actually a women. I can see how that can cause someone to be kinda a dick. Again, doesn't make it ok but I get it.

-took the "I'm not like other girls" phase and ran. Definitely aren't like other girls cuz they aren't a girl at all. But never quite lost the "other girls are like how they are on TV" thought process that many girls get at some point. This causes them to think of girls as shallow and shitty people-- which is obviously super sexist and wrong.

In my own experience I see a lotta trans guys having a hard time accepting they're guys cuz of the whole "men are trash" thing. But I've definitely seen ones who hate on women too. But the most common type of trans man I see are the ones that just wanna live their lives, and aren't sexist at all. Most shitty ones I find online and I just ignore them. And I do feel for you cuz it seems you've had to deal with them a good deal. But like I said, I think it's something that should be discussed within the community but not used a representation of it.

Explainations for trans women being sexist:

-this one I've actually discussed in detail a good amount with trans women. It's very much an over compensating and misunderstanding thing.

Not a misunderstanding of what it means to be a women, but rather a really unsavory way to express being a women. One of the first ways a trans person comes to express or even just test and see if they're trans is through clothes. This ties indirectly into gender roles. Cuz obviously clothes aren't actually gendered. If a man wears a dress he's still a man. But with how our society is, it's easier to pass when you're dressed with how society expects.

When newly/not yet realized trans men dress in traditionally masculine clothes, it's not quite as big of a deal in most cases (key word most, everyone's situation is different) then it is for trans women. I dressed more masculine for a long time before I realized I was a trans man. Most people took it as me being a tomboy. But a newly/not yet realized trans women doesn't have that luxury. Men wearing dressed isn't normalized. So if a trans women were to wear a dress, it'd be fairly obvious in most cases that she isn't cis.

This is especially true since dresses aren't made for the biologically male body (they're barely made for most cis women's bodies honestly). So when a trans women wears a dress she looks... Off. Cuz the seams of the clothes don't fit her body type. But she wants to pass. And so she wears clothes that aren't suited for her shape, high heels, and makeup as a way to over compensate and try to pass and prove they're female (cuz they are).

You ever see those videos of little kids who get into their mom's makeup?? Or middle schools trying to look pretty and putting on so much makeup they look like a clown? How about those cis women who NEVER wear make up and have no idea what they're doing and end up looking really bad when they finally try makeup on their own??? That's exactly what happens with trans women.

I'm a trans man I have no idea how makeup works. Most cis men don't know how makeup works. Trans women often get thrown into the makeup industry with no idea what the fuck they are doing. But they know that makeup is gonna be really important to help them pass in most cases. So when they first start they just look awful. Cuz they don't know what they're doing.

Combine that with the fact that many cis men don't understand fashion either (I don't even understand fashion). In most cases, the way they're raised they're styles are gonna be really different than women's styles. So again, a trans women is being thrown into a fashion industry she really doesn't know much about. And is gonna act like a little kid who stole her mom's shoes and dresses and just looks ridiculous. Cuz she doesn't know what to do, or what looks right, or how to do it in a tasteful way, etc etc. So she takes it way too far without realizing it cuz she's trying so hard to pass with no real idea what to do or how to do it.

And all that added together can very very very easily come off as super rude to cis women. Cuz they are going overboard with the makeup and heels and everything else. It often comes off as disrespectful and insulting, as if saying being a women is all about makeup and heels. It's not intentional by any means, but that doesn't mean the misunderstanding doesn't exist. It's very much a reality.

You'll often find that when trans women do this, they calm down after a while. Cuz they REALIZE how they went too far. they realize they over compensated and it was kinda shitty. My gf is a friend's with a trans women who actively talks about how when she first came out she went way too far with being stereotypically feminine cuz she didn't know how much else to express herself and over compensated. She knows now that it was insulting and she definitely apologizes for it. It's one of the reasons why having resources for trans people is so important-- so that hopefully trans women can not only have support but also help in their transition so they don't end up over compensating like that.

It's also important to note that unless you have access to medically transitionig it's REALLY hard to pass for most trans women without going on the far end of stereotypical femininity. Cuz when people see dresses and heels they are going to think women before they think man. Thats just how society is. So naturally, they're gonna wear dresses and make up in order to pass.

-the other side of that coin is the fetish community and it's overlap within the trans community. There is-- as I'm sure you know-- many people out there who treat being trans as a fetish. This isn't someone who's kinky and trans or someone who's kinks tie into being trans. But rather someone who's ONLY reason for being trans is because of a fetish-- i.e. it's all inherently a sexual thing.

And when it comes to trans women who are into trans for the fetish, you'll often find they are the ones who take that really far distasteful representation of feminity you were talking about and don't ever calm down. They don't later realize "ah, I've been over compensating and I can relax. I literally just wanna live my life as the women I am" and instead continue on with this over expression of stereotypical femininity.

I could go and make an even longer post about the possible reasons someone has a fetish like this. But basically. There are many people OBSESSED with women with dicks, being a women with a dick, being turned into a women for sexual reasons, etc etc. It's a fetish for them, not a realization of who you actually are. And it definitely does effect the trans community and how it's viewed by those outside the community.

There's no sure fire way to know the difference between these kinds people unfortunately. And there is something to be said with how they make the trans community look. I'm not gonna give my own opinion on it unless someone asks. I'm just saying it as a possible explanation of why you've met trans women who act so overly feminine it's almost insulting to women as a whole (including other trans women).

I hope that helps you and all makes sense.

On a final note:

-especially online trying to discuss literally any topic is gonna get you accused of being [what]phobic unfortunately. So I'm not surprised you've been called transphobic for saying that sometimes the way trans people express themselves feel like they're super stereotypical and that's kinda insulting. I don't know how you phrased it, but I can get both sides. Especially since many trans people deal with hate comments. I'm not saying you are or aren't transphobic, I don't know you well enough. But so long as you respect trans people and their gender, I don't think you have anything to worry about. (Calling someone out isn't the same as disrespect as an fyi)

#answered #ask #discourse #lgbt discourse #trans #trans discourse #long post #discussion

[communistkenobi-archive]

Mr kenobi pls tell us ur spicy witcher opinions if u have any

I have lots of Witcher opinions!!! Fair warning though this will be long and rambly and winding lol

To preface, most of my enjoyment of the Witcher comes from the third game. I’ve read several of the books (though not all) and seen some of the TV show, but the third game is the one I generally return to when I want to experience the Witcher world again (although I highly recommend the two short story collections, The Last Wish and Sword of Destiny. Those are my faves from the book series and are also the ones that the games borrow most heavily from). Witcher 2 is also pretty good but I’ll focus on W3.

I started replaying W3 recently after (sorry for what I’m about to say, I promise it will be relevant) finishing Supernatural and desperately wanting a better version of the monster/bounty hunting genre. What’s most compelling about the Witcher, to me at least, is that it’s not afraid of its own shadow. It accepts the logical conclusions of its own premise - you’re a guy who’s paid to hunt monsters and that’s exactly what you do, but “monster” is not some neutral or objective category. A lot of monsters are just creatures whose homes have been disturbed by the local population not respecting the environment around them, and are understandably angry and violent because their way of life is being threatened. A lot of monsters (especially spectres and other spiritual creatures) are manifested as a result of human beings committing horrific acts of violence, cruelty, and betrayal - people who are now begging Geralt to clean up their mess. A lot of monsters aren’t monsters at all but people that the citizenry have declared monstrous because they’re a little too good at practicing medicine, or they’re too successful in their intellectual pursuits (frequently these people are women, although men are also labelled as such). Often times the pretext of “hunting monsters” is thrown out entirely and people come up to Geralt and straight up ask him to kill their neighbour because they stole their shit, or to “get rid of” elves or dwarves that are minding their own business but have the misfortune of living too close to some paranoid and bigoted person.

Geralt’s position as someone who specialises in hunting monsters isn’t akin to “pest control” (which, hilariously, Supernatural frequently makes reference to when the brothers try to describe their own job to outsiders). Geralt is a necessary reactive measure to existing political and social conflicts, frequently called upon by powerful people to uphold the status quo and often violently punished when he does not do so. His presence in the game is inherently political, and his status as a Witcher puts him in the same category as “monster”, meaning he’s actively shunned, feared and despised by the same people begging him to save their asses.

And the very interesting thing about the game is that, like, yeah sure you can choose to be a dude who cleans up the messes of rich people, protect their property, and generally be a violent asshole to people and creatures who don’t deserve it. But you can also not do that. And it’s often much more difficult! Sympathising with the monstrous and the marginal will commonly cost you a lot of money, or favours, or even threaten your life. And even if you aren't punished for that sympathy, it usually requires you to work through the problem in your head and come up with an alternative solution that is more labour-intensive than simply killing the thing you're contracted to kill, like figuring out how to break a complicated curse or how to solve an interpersonal dispute between people. Sometimes you piss off an entire town by not, for example, killing a bunch of innocent people they started beef with, and forever after are met with insults and pitchforks should you return. But the game makes it very clear that you have to choose one of these two things. You can’t do your job “neutrally” because there is no such thing as neutrality when it comes to hunting the things that society deems as monstrous or deviant. People often remember Geralt’s speech from the trailer (and the books) “evil is evil, less, greater, middling, makes no difference. […] if I’m to choose between one evil or another, I’d rather not choose at all”, and the game is very aware that that is the basic premise of Geralt’s character and works towards disabusing him of the notion that he’s able to remain neutral.

A lot of player-choice-focused RPGs struggle with the morality of the choices presented to the player, and I think the Witcher does a very good job with it (especially with small scale, self contained conflicts that don’t tie into the overall story). Mass Effect goes the easy route and literally colour codes the morality of your choices, enforcing an almost metaphysical system of ethics that is determined by the game mechanics itself rather than a conscious engagement the player has with the conflict in the game. But with the Witcher you have to pay attention to what people tell you. Often times quests will require you to get multiple perspectives on a given conflict, and everyone will tell you a wildly different story that favours their own goals, biases, and motivations. And you have to make a decision based on incomplete and inaccurate information, and the game will not tell you if you made the “correct” choice. There is no higher moral power telling you what’s good or bad, you have to make that decision and then live with the consequences. There’s also sometimes no way to know how a certain event would go down had you decided the other way unless you look it up online or choose differently on your next playthrough. Sometimes the consequences aren’t even immediately apparent, and come back to haunt you (sometimes literally) many days or weeks or months down the line. The game is not, like, “paternalistic” with its own information, it doesn’t present an objective omniscient view of what “really” happened with X quest or Y character. I think that narrative choice reinforces how lonely Geralt is. He’s never given the freedom of abstaining from asking “is what I’m doing okay?”

Now the game isn’t without its problems of course. A huge problem is that it deals with deviance and marginalisation without ever meaningfully engaging with race and racial politics. Like yes elves and dwarves are mistreated, but they’re also all white, and the story sometimes even does a “both sides are bigoted” thing with elves. iirc this is more prevalent in Witcher 2, and it’s been a while since I played the main game of Witcher 3, but I remember those criticisms being part of the discussion of the game(s), and they’re well-founded. The game also doesn’t always hold true to the philosophy I’ve outlined above. Not every quest is some deep moral quandary, and sometimes you just kill stuff for money. Which is fine! But it’s not always consistent.

The OTHER thing I find really interesting is that the game is set in a vaguely feudal society but has a fully realised institution of science (iirc this was established with huge help from witches, which is a very cool and interesting concept). Now I’m not a historian or an expert on the exact sequence of events that lead to the Enlightenment in our own history, so this is going to be incomplete and probably reductive in some way, but I’ve read critical reviews of Enlightenment era intellectual discoveries (ie the time period commonly referred to as the birth of modern science, which came after the collapse of feudalism) and its function in society, and a major criticism of the movement is that scientific logic and inquiry was often used in colonial pursuits and ambitions by the state, and was, to modern standards, completely made up horseshit (things like eugenics and race science more broadly is a huge product of this).

And in the game it’s also sort of like that? At the very least the Witcher doesn’t uncritically endorse scientists and intellectuals as inherently good or noble people in the way a lot of media with generally liberal politics does. But IMO it’s critical of these institutions in a non-reactionary and non-anti-intellectual way - oftentimes you’ll find the notes of a scientist or otherwise “intellectually minded” person, and their experiments are just like horrifically cruel bullshit with no real point aside from punishing creatures and people these scientists have deemed as beneath them. Science that only seems to reinforce the status quo (categorising things as “monsters” and then leveraging that label to do terrible things to them) is often the reality of the day. Again, not always, but often. Which is super compelling!

ALSO also idk where to put this because it's a comparatively minor point, but I looooove how much of a bitch Yennefer is. Like unapologetically an asshole to a lot of people while still remaining sympathetic, and especially if you read the books you can track her development into a kinder and more considerate person over the course of many years. She was one of the few bright spots in the Witcher TV show for me and I loved her actress’s performance.

Anyway lol I very much enjoy the Witcher. It’s championed by a lot of dumbass centrist gamer bros as the pinnacle of rationality and logic and “both sides” style of debate that terminally annoying nerds love (which to my great shame was my perspective on the game when I first played it as an 18 y/o), but in my opinion the Witcher is very alive to the contradictions and irrationalities that exist in human societies and is very eager to explore them. It earnestly asks the player to reckon with what exactly the label “monster” does in society, the power it has, and who benefits from that label being applied to various people and supernatural creatures. Geralt often remarks that he’s not a bounty hunter, that “a silver sword for monsters and a steel one for humans” is a fundamental misunderstanding of the work he does, and the game deliberately problematises the human/monster dichotomy in a way that isn’t misanthropic or reactionary, which is pretty impressive!

I have other criticisms of the game’s overall story that are hard to talk about without me playing through the entire game again to jog my memory, but it’s easily one of the favourite games ever and I love it a lot. Blood and Wine and Hearts of Stone are both amazing additions as well and add a lot to the game.

#misc.txt #lol idk what to tag this as i dont rly have a dedicated witcher tag on here #witcher

[runthepockets]

I've been reading The Secret Life Of Men by Steve Biddulph and I think it's the best men's wellness book I've come across in a hot minute. It goes into a lot of things-- navigating your post pubescent body, how to talk to your father and fit the missing pieces of the puzzle into your own masculinity, how to develop deep and enriching friendships with other men, how to get your point across in arguments with female love interests without having to resort to violence or petty insults or stonewalling, etc-- but what I'm most fixated on right now is the way he talks about sexuality. He does it in ways I'm always thinking and can relate to, but have never quite have the words for.

Basically this guy is like, when you raise boys to treat women as objects, when they're coming into their sexualities and you give them nothing but pin ups and rock music videos and degrading film and tv shows to latch onto, they grow up very ignorant and ashamed. They talk about women in context of "scoring", they keep "body counts", they don't know the difference between ejaculating and actually climaxing because you've taught them that masturbation is anything from a sin to necessary evil rather than a natural bodily function that keeps you healthy and sane (especially when you're not using low grade porno to get to the end) and that sex is a fleeting experience where someone else just happens to be along for the ride; that it's an excersize routine rather than a pleasant, fulfilling experience where both parties have fun, bare their souls, and become a little closer as a result. He said his biggest sexual awakening was when he was 14 and watching a very intimate scene in a movie where a woman made love to a parapalegic Vietnam Vet. And like. Yeah.

I'm frequently afraid to talk to other men about the intricacies of my sexual desires-- about what I want, about how I want it, about how I like kissing and hand holding and telling her she's pretty a lot and how I like back rubs and muscle stroking and all sorts of other cutesy shit-- despite being a pretty vanilla straight dude, because sometimes you give other guys an inch and they take a mile. Even if I simply say "I hung out with a girl" or intentionally and appropriately use phrases like "courting" or "making love" or "intimacy", I get crude metaphors and graphic questions about the woman's appearence in turn. I get told I have "another notch under my belt" and that I "scored" and that's really not how I like thinking of my partners. It feels gross, vouyeristic, disrespectful, invasive, both to her and me. I made a friend, we had a nice evening. All of this is doubled by the fact that I mostly pursue trans women and that makes a lot of other dudes antsy and/or ready to pounce with homophobic and transmisogynistic commentary.

Up until pretty recently I thought being a straight guy was all about having all kinds of porn catered to me, I thought sex was the only thing that mattered because that's the only thing other straight guys really talk about, and only in the vaguest terms and most degrading phrases, I hadn't even known there was a difference between ejaculating (the sensation a guy gets when he's close) and climaxing (actually cumming) and how important it is to really pay attention to your body until I had started reading this book, despite being a person who masturbates pretty regularly. Even though I'm the top demographic of people that the majority of mainstream sexual content is catered toward, I still felt unhappy and confused and ashamed and angry, and now I know why. Dudes really be treating sex like it's a game to be won and that makes me not want to engage in any sort of discourse or merrymaking unless absolutely necessary.

#I also have bottom dysphoria but that's another post. #gender diaries

[katsukikitten]

Warnings College AU sexual and adult themes. Yall know the drill okay

Chapter 2

Bugzapper⚡💔: i have a proposition to make. 

Jiro flashes Mina her phone as she sips iced coffee in the blessed air conditioning of the cafe.

"That's never a good sign." She comments, moon bright eyes glued to the phone as she thinks. 

"What's not a good sign?" Uraraka asks from across the table, the two girls fill her in. 

"Oh." She racks her brain on what that could be, "Okay well I'm dying to know, now." 

🎵Music to my soul 🎶 : What do you want airhead? 

Jiro's text sent a surge of excitement through Kaminari. It was exactly what he needed after three hours of begging and bribing Bakugou to allow the sorority in or at least invite them. His fingers fly across the screen setting up a date and time for a "meeting over lunch" to discuss the proposition in further detail.  

Meanwhile across campus, you huff, eyes narrowed as a rare emotion is pulled from your fingertips in the form of deadly ice. Pulling the moisture from the air to freeze it or pulling any water towards you to keep your flank safe as your opponent rushes you at breakneck speeds. 

You hated this fucking guy, cocky, brash, so God damn arrogant in the way he held himself, in the way he spoke. It made you nauseous just thinking of him.Had you known he was the male star of this university you wouldn't have transferred, yet you still needed to transfer didn't you? Anything to get out from under the shadow of a certain Todoroki. 

No one cared to admit or to notice, that your quirk was different from Shoto's. You could manipulate water towards you to freeze, and manipulate whatever was already frozen. Your ice was denser and more durable than his and dare you say it colder than his too. Yet no one gave a shit, his was ice AND fire. You were just a one trick pony and a trick they already saw. Your opponent's taunting doesn't help matters much.

"I've already seen this before Ice Brat. Did ya forget where I fucking went to high school?" His hand heats the ice as he activates his quirk before three deafening blasts ring out. 

As you allow him to break down the ice you act on pure rage, securing some revenge from the first time he signed your hair. Pointed icicles lie in wait and once the wall is fully down you give him a nasty smirk before sending the straight his way. 

You're supposed to melt your weapons before they hit your opponent, neither of you are supposed to go all out per the professor's and college's strict rules in the athletics department but Bakugou always does. Somehow his big stupid mouth spews something that eggs you on. As if someone were shoving bamboo skewers beneath your skin, under your nails, sending you into an unheard of rage. 

Normally you were as your quirk, icy, unbothered by the world but Bakugou, God you could wring his neck. Freeze his hot blood as you watch him turn into slush beneath your feet. 

He expects you to abide by the rules, to splash him with glacier water but he realizes it too late. That you won't he let's off a quick blast, shattering two of the four deadly points. One grazes his cheek as he just barely dodges while the other lodges itself into his arm. 

You have half a mind to twist it. You pull at his blood bringing it into your arsenal. Blood red needles and bullets surround Bakugou. 

"I don't think you've seen this before.." You say darkly ready to release your hold and shred him into, give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe he would see how bitter and nauseating he was. He smirks, opening his mouth to retort but you send your ice his way aiming for non vital spots although the ice creeps closer to your heart begging it to hit something vital. The inside of your ice palace begins to reek of burning sugar and spice, he plans to let out an explosion to bring this whole place down from the inside out. 

Just as he is about to detonate and just as the blood and ice are about to pierce skin the professor bursts into the gym.  

"I step out for five minutes and this is what happens?!"

The ice and blood return to liquid splashing across Bakugou as his skin pops. The professor takes in the damage from your ice and his explosions, still better controlled than most of his other students quirks. 

"I gotta stop pairing these two together." He murmurs to himself before dismissing class. With a flick of your wrist the ice fortress melts, returning to the reservoir below the gym floor, ignoring the molten glare that is sent your way.

"You're such a bitch." Bakugou growls as you pass, flinging blood from his fingers as he wipes at his face. You offer him a fake pitying smile before heading into the women's locker room. 

"Fucking asshole." You hiss, forcing the sight of his garnet gaze out of your mind. Instead turning your attention to your buzzing phone in your locker. It's a few missed calls and some texts in the girl's group chat. Briefly you wonder if you ever should have joined that stupid sorority, it was small, non toxic, and would look good should you need to transfer again. 

Not only did you somehow get elected the president but you also became friends with the three other ladies despite your best efforts not too. 

Mins: Prez we might have a way to save the sorority...lunch after you're done with training? 

IceQueen ❄: Hope it's good, the Dean already put the house up for sale. Let me get ready and I'll be there shortly. 

Mina presents her phone to the crowd around her, Kirishima, Denki, Sero, Jiro and Uraraka do a small celebration. Denki more so than anyone else, he knows the combined car washes will be more than enough to fix up the house, he also recently learned that you had the power of negotiation on your side. Having just listened to Mina retell the story of how you got free food for a month from a bar for yourself and your friends. And not from some sleaze who wanted to sleep with you either, no it was from the owner himself. 

Denki is hopeful and so are the ladies indicating that this may be his best idea yet. 

You arrive at the small bistro early, spying your party on the front patio. The three men had seen you in person before, they knew you were easy on the eyes but up close you were breathtaking. Manicured nails but nothing gaudy, normally nude or soft shades, light makeup, mascara at most as far as they could tell and your outfit was well put together. You were what the world called plus size but everyone else called thiccc. Your confidence oozing in your light blouse tucked into your black skinny jeans, uncaring that you had a pouch. 

You needed that extra fat to keep from freezing by your own quirk. The only thing you needed society to worry about was your intelligence and your power. 

Both were SSR ranked so what did you fucking care that your body was ranked lower. They were stupid in thinking you'd skimp power in the name of vanity. 

You recognize everyone at the table and internalize the dread you're feeling. Scheming is afoot and you're the last to arrive. You can tell by their half finished drinks and picked over appetizer, still you sit and act unaware. Denki goes to hold out his hand first for a formal introduction causing a sly cat smile to settle over your glossy lips. 

"No need, I'm aware of who the three of you are. Sero we share our lingual class, Denki, our chemistry class, and Kirishima we share two classes, world studies and villain hero theory. Truly a pleasure." You tell then your name before ordering something to drink from the lingering waitress. Sitting stick straight with your shoulders backs has the men mirroring you. 

"Well ladies I take it the plan to save the sorority involves these fine gentlemen." You ask coolly and they nod. After a moment of silence Mina and Denki go to speak. Awkwardly encouraging the other to speak until Minai clears her throat. 

"As you know they are a newly formed frat with Sero as their president. They moved into their house about a month ago and they say it is quite large. So they have invited us to move in." 

"How do you propose we ask the college to have a co-ed house? What does this fraternity home even look like?" They knew you would be quick to ask questions Mina answers the first while Denki provides the answer to the second. 

"Union and Diversity. Forming close relationships now to carry over into our hero careers." 

"The house needs some work but looks a lot better than what it did." Denki shows you before and after pictures as you gesture for his phone. He passes you his electric yellow case with nervous hope tingling beneath his skin. You swipe through the photos. 

"You boys did a great job on the outside. Inside needs a lot of work. Hardwoods will be easy to fix, they are original but don't seen to be damaged, a good scrub will spruce them up. Wait, are those?" You zoom in on the photo of the living room, "Are those foldable camping chairs and a VHS tv?" 

They gulp loudly as they nod, your purse your lips in disapproval. 

"I can fix that." You pass Denki back his phone, assuming that all the roommates will be present, "I see the main focus was the kitchen but some of the appliances seem to be on their last legs. I can fix that as well." 

"Soooo….So it's a yes?" Jiro asks, feeling relief for the first time in months since they received the letter of eviction. 

"Gotta get the college to agree first." You think on it a moment, "But I'm sure we can arrange that. Uraraka can you draft an email to the Dean requesting an official meeting regarding our sorority? Be sure to explain in detail our situation, how we are being forced to disband by their account and the solution we have. Make sure it's an afternoon meeting too. The dean hates to miss golf with our rival university's dean." 

With the plan set in motion all of you return to your evening classes. Jiro nudges Denki in the ribs, listening to his heart race from their closeness. 

"When are we going to tell her about Bakugou?" She throws her almost lover a look that he seems to wither beneath. His jaw tics before he retorts. 

"I think we should wait to see if this even works first." 

After a week the important meeting arrives and as you thought the Dean is already exhibiting signs of impatience. He is more than ready to wrap this up and you already know his answer is going to be no. Already trying to get it out before the four of you can even have a seat. 

Still you weren't the Ice Queen on campus for nothing. You saunter into the room, mineola folder filled with your copies of counterpoints pressed firmly to your chest, you can already see he doesn't have the copies you sent him. You place the folder down and open it, leafing through the pages as you speak. 

"This request is going to be approved and here are the reasons why. An example of sexism could be made that a new fraternity was approved housing, new housing, after a decades old sorority was deemed "too small" both parties are similar in count. Second funding and donations are easily influenced with letters to alumni and especially by attendees to this university. My transfer from YAU has brought in revenue of roughly 2.6 million dollars, increasing your diversity for women when this is normally a male dominated school. I am aware that my transfer had even encouraged other students from YAU to transfer here. Which I'm sure is one of your favorite bragging points to tell Dean Fraunk during your weekly golf trips isn't it? So it would truly be a shame if these points would come to light in the investigation of my return to YUA just months before the university sports festival. I do look amazing in Ice Blue you know. Matches my quirk a lot better than Maroon." You put the ball in his court, he is visibly upset, eyes flying to the facts that you've presented. All important, viable facts. You were right MMU was known to be a male dominated school and the media would have a field day if they uncovered a mistake he happened to look over. Not to mention you were his main bragging point, Dean Yuzi always talked about how he had stolen you, the female star of rising heroes, from YUA.  The silence in the room is amplified by the ticking of the clock, seconds accumulating into minutes as it counts down his T time with his old college buddy and rival. He gulps nervously, knowing what he has to do in order to keep both his bragging rights and a law suit under wraps. He looks up to you as you wear your stone cold face, making him think of a loan shark who hasn't been getting their payments on time. He is fearful for your future boss.  

"I believe I have no choice but to approve." 

"Correct." You respond, "Now we have a bit more to discuss. I noticed that classrooms 456 and 215 are being remodeled. Those gently used flat screens will be given to our house since it is technically college property. Common space 3 and 1 are being renovated in dorms A and B. We will accept the leather arm chairs as they are in good shape but we demand a new couch. I know it is in the budget as I help plan the budget. I also believe it is time for an allowance for our hybrid house." The Dean shrinks away from your tenacity, nodding as that is all he can do.  

"Well this is a generous offer and should cover most of the basic necessities such as a new fridge and mattress. The aesthetic we will be raising funds for. Kindly spread the word, we don't want to take up more of your time and be late with your 'meeting' with Dean Fraunk." You place a flyer on his desk as you turn on your heel. The rest of the sorority, mouth agape following suit. Yuzi looks down at the flyer, head hung in a mixture of disbelief and shame as he reads over the neon paper advertising a co-ed car wash. 

He just hopes you and Bakugou are worth the trouble. 

#bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #bnha au #bnha college au #bnha imagine

[giorno-plays-piano]

You were all I wanted

Pairing: mob!Peter Parker x plus-sized!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, swearing, kidnapping, human trafficking, slight mention of body shaming, allusion to non-con.

Words: 2195.

Summary: You are bought by the head of Stark crime family for a kid he cares about.

P.S. Peter is an adult!

__________

"We hope you are going to enjoy your new girl, Mr. Stark." The man loosened his grip on your shoulder as he let you march straight into the arms of a stranger in a fancy striped suit and big frightening men with guns surrounding him.

"Nah, this one isn't for me." The stranger who bought you brushed it off as if your presence meant nothing. "She's a present for the boy. Peter, where the fuck are you?"

You almost jumped at his loud voice, keeping your head low and watching your unstable feet. Well, you expected as much - before you that mysterious Mr. Stark bought one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen in your life. Her striking black hair was shining even in the dim lights of the dressing room where all captured girls were taken care of before the start of the auction. She costed twice more than you and had much more admirers - you remembered how men were shouting, trying to outbid each other. You weren't that popular, but still ended up being purchased by the same man she was. Now it all made sense.

"I'm here, Mr. Stark!" A young boy's head popped out in the crowd of other buyers, and he emerged right in front of you with a long men's coat in his hands. "I'm sorry it took me so long!"

"Look at this gent." The man smirked at him, and his guards laughed a little at the boy's enthusiasm. "So caring! I hope you're not going to take the girl straight to church?"

Now there was an inappropriately loud burst of laughter, and you bit your own tongue. They all were a bunch of bastards, but your life depended on them now. You needed to keep your mouth shut if you wanted to make it out alive.

The boy smiled brightly at his patron and looked at you with sparkles of happiness in his dark eyes. Oh, at least he was more or less pleased with the way you looked, you thought.

"Congrats with your first girl, Peter." Mr. Stark's smug grin suddenly turned warm at the sight of the boy who was almost jumping with excitement in front of him. "You're sure she's the one you want? I can still get a replacement if you've changed your mind."

"No, no, Mr. Stark, she's perfect for me!" Once the man in the suit nudged you to come closer to the boy, Peter gently wrapped your shoulders into the coat he carried and smiled at you widely. "Thank you so much for your present, sir!"

"Enjoy, kid." His patron smirked and motioned to the men waiting for him. "Let's get going then, I have business to attend to."

Judging by their nasty smirks, his business had something to do with that gorgeous black-haired woman they took somewhere earlier. You did your best not to throw up at the thought of him forcing her down her knees.

"Can you walk?" The boy suddenly asked you quietly, and you blinked. "Do you want me to carry you?"

Nice joke. The guy looked twice slimmer than you, skinny as a rail. You'd break him in half, probably. You weren't sure whether he was mocking you, but it was obviously not the right time to throw a temper tantrum.

"I can walk. Thank you." You mumbled and made a step towards those men who were already leaving.

"Ok. Come with me then." You thought his boyish smile looked pretty.

You walked past other girls dressed in expensive flashy lingerie adorned with glitter, sequins, and laces. Some of young women were as terrified as you were, their faces red with tears; the others seemed strangely happy, shouting something to each other and giggling in front of their new masters - you thought those girls were prostitutes or someone of the same kind because the idea of laughing happily after being bought like a piece of clothing didn't sit well with you. You spotted a few more ladies who were still unstable on their feet because they were given too much drugs, probably. Two dozens women, maybe more, were gathered in a place like that to become someone's property. Like you did now.

It was cold outside despite September being usually warm in New York. You had never lived here before, but one of your friends moved in the Big Apple two years ago and was always talking about nice weather they often enjoyed.

"It's right over there." The boy pointed to one of the cars in a long row of them, Mr. Stark already getting inside a ridiculously fashionable one. Peter's old Honda was nowhere near that, but you were relieved. It made you feel like you weren't taken to some scary place full of criminals waiting to fuck the shit out of you.

The kid opened the door for you like you were some fairytale princess or something, and you got inside, holding the coat that almost slipped from your shaking shoulders while the boy quickly landed on the driver's seat. You couldn't guess his age, but if he drove the car he was probably older than 16.

"I'm so sorry, I know you're cold." He glanced at your silk robe beneath the coat, your legs bare - you had nothing but fluffy slippers on your feet. "It'll get better in a minute."

What a considerate little guy. If he didn't show up with that overconfident mobster who looked like he owned New York, you'd think Peter was some sweet high schooler who spent his weekends working in an animal shelter. But you weren't stupid to believe his innocent looks.

At one point you thought he might be Mr. Stark's illegitimate son, but something told you  it wasn't that. The way Peter looked at him with adoration proved that the man was more of his patron as you suspected from the very beginning.

"I know they didn't feed you today, so I brought you some chicken soup." He said and reached to grab something from the back seat - you glanced at the metal food jar thermos that softly landed on your naked lap.

Did he bring you food? For real? No, it must be some trick - there were drugs or something like that there, for sure. Why else was this guy playing the role of your mother, for God's sake?

"You're not allergic to chicken, are you?" Kid looked concerned, watching the troubled expression on your face. "Oh shoot, I didn't check your allergies!"

"I'm not allergic." You quickly replied, afraid to make him upset.

He was getting restless too fast, you thought. Peter really behaved like a kid. What was that Mr. Stark told him after the auction? Something like "congrats with your first girl", wasn't it? So, it probably meant Peter had never been with a woman before. Not that you had been with a man, either. Maybe that's why he picked you.

But it also could be all an act. Teenagers weren't getting slaves to take care of their sexual needs. Maybe this Peter wasn't as young as you thought, and in fact he was some psycho who planned to drug, rape and murder you.

Either way, he would get mad if you didn't get started with that soup - you could read it in his face.

Opening the jar, you felt a delicious smell filling your nostrils when your stomach made an ugly sound. Damn, you had never been so hungry in your entire life.

The truth was the supervisors who took care of all the girls before the auction made you starve for two days "to get you in shape". They said you were too fat and they had to do something to make you at least a bit more presentable.

"Well, if I'm going to die, I will die with a full stomach." You thought gloomly and started gulping down the warm soup. It tasted heavenly good.

The boy watched you in awe as if you were becoming more and more beautiful with eash sip.

"I'm not much of a cook, but Aunt May managed to teach me to make a chicken soup." He said with a sudden warmth to his voice. "So, um, don't worry, you won't die of starvation with me."

You forced yourself to smile at his attempt to make a small joke. As far as you were concerned, your body was perfectly okay even after you finished eating. Maybe the drug took longer to start affecting you, but maybe you were just lucky and there was nothing in the soup at all.

All of a sudden, Peter's phone started ringing, and he took it from the pocket of his jacket immediately.

"Where the fuck are you again, kid?" You could hear Stark's thundering voice even from your seat.

"I'm sorry, sir!" The boy squeaked and adjusted his seatbelt. "We're coming!"

____________

The room he brought you to was fairly large and comfortable to your tastes: there were a comfy king-sized bed, a huge table with a dozen of oddly-looking gadgets and two screens, a chair, a drawer and a closet. There was also a newly-bought TV that wasn't set up yet, and a microwave on a side table.

"I'm terribly sorry for the mess." Peter apologized to you as if you were his parent who came to scold him. "Don't worry, I'll take it all away. Please come and sit here."

He briefly gestured to the bed, and you bit down on your lower lip nervously. The kid was fast.

You didn't talk much in the car since you were waiting for the drug to kick in, but nothing happened. As for Peter, you thought that he was too shy to talk, but maybe he just didn't want to. In the end, he asked his patron to buy you for a very different reason.

"The bathroom is over there. You can take your shower, if you want." He smiled childishly at you.

How could he keep such innocent face when he was about to rape you?

You gathered whatever courage you had left and said, "C-can we talk?"

The boy froze on the spot and dropped whatever gadget he was holding back on the table. You glanced at his skinny boyish figure, that dark ruffled hair and a really pretty face - he looked like your neighbor's sweet son who would climb a tree to get a cat stuck up there back to the ground.

"Of course!" Peter landed on the bed close to you, watching you with his undying enthusiasm. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Why did you choose me?"

You really wanted to know. You weren't the usual goods they sold on that auction, the human traffickers said. Though there were a few girls who weren't breathtakingly beautiful, most of the ones brought there were well above average women. They looked like they came straight from Victoria's Secret Show.

"Well... um." You could see his ears getting red. "You're... pretty. I like you."

Huh, funny. Why did you ask? The answer was obvious - you were cheap. Mr. Stark didn't want to spend too much money on a present for the kid, so Peter had rather limited choice, probably.

"Why are you getting upset?" He sounded so concerned that you made yourself smile again to calm him down. Anyway, it was better to be grateful. You were almost sold to some disgusting old man. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I'm sorry." You hurried to say. "I'm sorry you didn't get anyone better than me. That place was full of magnificent women."

What the fuck were you saying? Did you seriously think those poor souls deserved to be sold like cattle just because they were prettier than you? God, you were so messed up.

"Wait, no!" The boy grabbed your hands in his and made you flinch involuntarily. "No, no, you're beautiful! I chose you because I like you more than anyone else."

Bewildered, you looked at his worried expression, his eyes staring at you intensely while you squeezed your thighs together. Hearing the boy say that felt very odd, but kind of... comforting? Not many people ever called you beautiful, mind your mother and a few friends. It was stupid to think about it now when the one calling you that was the man whose property you had become, yet you couldn't help but get those little butterflies in your stomach.

You eyes watered, and you quickly wiped your tears away.

"People were treating you badly, weren't they? It's terrible." The boy pulled out a pack of napkins and took one, gently pressing it to your wet cheek. "But I swear I fell in love with you once I saw your photos on the website. You're the prettiest girl I've ever met, for real!"

When he removed the napkin, you saw his pupils dilating and felt his breath becoming ragged, heavy. One of his hands rested on your thigh as he leaned closer to you and sniffed your hair. Your body went stiff.

"No one gonna say anything nasty to you from now on. I'll make sure of that."

_________

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