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#while so many have nothing but the cold ground to rest their head
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Timber Timbre
The firework that sets him off is probably a Roman candle, and way closer than all the other ones have been, by Hen’s estimate. Eddie is on the ground before she can say anything and Hen’s blood runs a little cold at the realization of what’s happening. 
“Eddie,” she says gently. “It’s still fireworks, it’s okay.” 
Eddie is squatting low behind the kitchen island, head down, and he’s visibly shaking. He nods jerkily, but his breathing doesn’t slow at all. Hen’s heart hurts, but she’s careful not to get too close. She’s well versed in many a mental health crisis, but what to do when your friend is having combat flashbacks feels a little out of her depth. She gets low with him, keeps her tone soft and even. “How can I help, Eddie?” 
His eyes are wild when they meet hers, his hands clenching around nothing like he’s physically clinging to the present. “Can you-“ he stutters. “Where is-? I need Buck.” 
Hen is on her feet as quickly as she can without startling him. “I’ll find him, okay? You stay right here.” 
Downstairs, Buck’s holding the heavy bag for Chim, saying something that was probably meant to be encouraging but comes out more antagonistic. Their shift into being brothers has obviously been going well. They both stop in their tracks when they see the look on Hen’s face. 
“Eddie needs you.” It feels important to say it the way he did.
Another firework goes off then and Buck pales. “Oh, shit.” 
Then he’s taking the stairs two at a time with Hen and Chim not far behind. “Kitchen.” She calls after him. 
Eddie is where she left him, but now his hands are pressed against his ears. Buck squats down in front of him slowly, ducking his head so he can catch Eddie’s eye. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s me, I’m here.” He says, like it’s definitely not the first time.
He looks back and Hen and Chimney, whispers, “Can you guys sit with us a second?” 
They nod, taking their places off to the left across from them, backs against the kitchen counter. Close enough if they need help, far enough away to keep their bubble intact. Hen’s grateful for the direction, and when Bobby comes out of his office, she waves him over, finger to her lips. He doesn’t question it, just squats down on Hen’s other side. 
Eddie shudders, breathes hard out of his nose. Says, “Buck.” Real soft. 
Buck nods, scoots closer at the recognition, reaches out to run his fingertips feather-light over Eddie’s forearms. “You’re in LA, Eddie. At the 118.”
Eddie gasps like he’s just reached the surface of water. “Doesn’t- doesn’t feel like it.” 
Buck grimaces. “I know. I know, let’s go through it, okay?” 
Eddie nods, once, lets Buck take his hands and keep going. “I feel,” Buck prompts. 
Eddie closes his eyes. “Panicked.” 
Buck nods, soft look on his face like pride. It makes Hen’s eyes water. Their boy has grown up so much. 
“Because the fireworks made me think about,” 
“The chopper going down. Getting shot at while the fire was burning. Greggs.” Eddie grits out through bared teeth. 
Buck rubs his thumbs over the backs of Eddie’s hands. “But if I look around I can see,” 
Eddie forces his eyes open with what looks like immense effort, trains them on Buck for a solid ten seconds before he looks around the rest of the room. “You. The 118. Bobby. Hen. Chimney.” 
He looks at each of them in turn. Hen nods encouragingly, waves a little, which seems to increase the recognition on his face. 
Buck smiles at him. “Yeah, that’s good, real good.” 
Some of the tension seeps slowly from Eddie’s shoulders, and Buck rewards it with a squeeze of their joined hands. “Tell me what day it is.” 
Another firework goes off in the distance and Hen wants to murder someone. Bobby looks like he’d help her without a second thought. The fucking audacity to set off explosives when you live by a firehouse is astounding. 
Eddie winces but Buck stays firm with him, tapping his fingers rhythmically against Eddie’s knuckles. “What’s the date, Eds?” 
“Fourth of July.” 
“Exactly. Which means,” 
“Morons.” Eddie answers, rote, like he’s been trained. The way Buck’s handling him right now, Hen supposes he has been. 
“You got it.” He praises, pressing forward until his forehead rests against Eddie’s. “Chris was excited, though, remember?” 
“Poke cake.” Eddie responds and Bobby smiles. 
Midwestern traditions often mystify Hen, but Christopher was so excited to make that weird jello cake with Bobby and Buck that she couldn’t help but decide she loved that one. They spent all evening in Bobby and Athena’s kitchen last night, making gratuitously American dishes that should be objectively gross but that Denny and Chris were wild for. Poke cakes with red and blue jello, things being called “salad” that have never and will never be salad, and burgers that were always a welcome staple in Grant-Nash cookouts. 
Buck is tapping his fingers on Eddie’s knees now, alternating as he prods Eddie to talk him through Christopher’s latest science project. Bilateral brain stimulation, her brain provides. Works for most long-term trauma treatment but can also be helpful during flashbacks. Evan “Internet Research Extraordinaire” Buckley certainly hasn’t been a slouch in this endeavor. 
As he talks through Buck’s prompts, Eddie is slowly relaxing, sitting up on his own a bit more but shifting closer to Buck, tension slowly bleeding out of him as he points out the things he knows, the things he can see, what Bobby made for dinner, what Chimney’s favorite show is right now, what class he helped Hen run flashcards for. It makes Hen’s heart grow too big in her chest. To know that they’re a part of Eddie’s recovery, of him feeling safe. 
“Where are you, Eddie?” Buck asks again after a few minutes of this. They’re side by side now, shoulders brushing as they lean back against the island cabinets. 
Eddie takes a deep breath, sags a little against Buck. “I’m in LA. I’m at the 118 firehouse. You’re all here with me. Everyone’s safe.” 
Hen smiles encouragingly at him, Chim says, “We’re here for you, man.” 
Eddie looks away, mutters, “Esto es tan vergonzoso,” color staining his cheeks. 
“Nuh uh.” Buck answers, firm. “None of that. No tienes nada de que avergonzarte.” 
Hen knows Buck spent a while in Peru. Bartending, she thinks. She’s heard him speak Spanish to people on calls before, but his accent has historically been horrendous. It sounds like being in the Diaz orbit has been helpful for that. Hen doesn’t speak Spanish well, but she’s been in LA long enough to get the gist most of the time. 
“Sorry you guys had to see that.” Eddie apologizes anyway, ignoring Buck.
Bobby shuts that down immediately. “Everybody’s got their demons, Eddie. We’re just happy we can help with yours.” 
He tells Eddie he should take the rest of the night, even as Eddie protests that he’s fine and he doesn’t want to leave them hanging. “It’s just a few hours, Eddie. Take him home, Buck?” 
Buck nods, looking relieved that he didn’t have to ask permission. Eddie still looks a little mortified, but it’s tempered by Bobby’s careful hand on his shoulder. “Get some rest, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
“When do you think they’ll give in and just get married?” Chim asks after Buck bundles Eddie into his Jeep. 
Bobby snorts. “I’ve had the paperwork ready to go for years.”
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mrowlai · 6 hours
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sick day
character(s): wanderer/scaramouche, wriothesley, childe/tartaglia
summary: you’re sick and they take care of you (can be read as platonic or romantic, possibly ooc wriothesley)
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Wanderer/Scaramouche “I really cannot be sick right now, I have things to do the next few days and my entire body hurts,” you groaned.
“Stop complaining.” Wanderer rested a warm towel on your forehead. “Or it’ll just get worse.”
You had fallen ill after a bad rainstorm caught you defenseless while running errands in the forests of Sumeru. Chilled to the bone, you had returned home and fell asleep, forgetting all about how Wanderer was set to come over that afternoon.
Thankfully, his tsundere act didn’t prevent him from helping you out with your cold.
You let out a violent sneeze that tossed the compress back towards him. “Sorry,” you grumbled, turning towards him.
“Use a tissue next time, ew,” were the kind words that came out of his mouth. “Or at least warn me.”
“It’s not like I can predict some of these things, and you don’t have to be an ass about it.”
“I also don’t have to help you, but here I am,” he huffed, moving to place the towel on your head again. “I’ll go grab a bucket soon, just in case you throw up.”
“I doubt I’m that sick,” you said.
“Good, because that’s the last thing I want to clean up.”
“Just shut it and let me rest.” You closed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. Surprisingly, he followed your request and let you doze off, staying by your side the whole time.
Wriothesley You made your way up to his office in the fortress, sniffling and coughing the whole time.
“Wrio, I think I’m sick.”
“I’d say that’s accurate. So why are you here and not resting?”
“I wanted to see you. Plus it’s a just a cold, I’ll live.”
Wriothesley chuckled. “You really should be in bed at the infirmary if you’re sick. At least while you’re here, have some tea with honey for me.” He pulled a chair over opposite his desk and motioned for you to sit down while he prepared the tea. He, of course, made himself a cup as well.
“Thank you,” you said hoarsely before you blew on the steaming liquid. Once you felt it was cool enough to drink you took a small sip. Instantly you felt your throat soothed as the sweet honey made its way down.
“Has anyone checked your temperature? Sigewinne?” Wriothesley took a sip of his own tea.
“No, not yet. I felt like complaining to you first.” You smiled.
He let out another laugh. “That’s very kind of you, but we really should get you to the infirmary to make sure it’s nothing major.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s just a head cold, though,” you said. “It’ll probably be gone in a couple of days.”
“How about we finish this tea and head down. If you’re right I’ll let it go, but if you’re wrong you have to rest on the doctors orders.”
“Deal.” You smiled behind your cup.
Childe/Tartaglia "You're sick."
"No I'm not."
Childe slowly put a hand to your forehead and hummed. "You have a fever. Did you dress warmly like I told you to?"
You looked to the ground as your cheeks grew hot with shame. "N-no."
He had taken you on a trip from Liyue to Snezhnaya after you expressed interest in experiencing the culture there. Despite given his clear warnings of the cold, you had only packed a thick jacket and crocheted scarf to keep you warm.
Upon seeing you, Childe let you borrow his fluffy hooded coat and handed you a spare pair of mittens he kept on him. They were a little small since he carried them around to help out his siblings, but you were grateful nonetheless.
Soon enough, he had you in his spare bedroom surrounded by blankets. A bowl of chicken broth with noodles sat on the nightstand next to you. You assumed he had a lot of experience taking care of sick people due to how big his family was. That many kids in one household was bound to spread the flu like wildfire if one caught it.
"After you eat, I need you to get some rest, okay?" Childe said it as more of a light demand than a suggestion. "Tourism can wait, and in the meantime I'll see if I can find some warmer clothes for you to wear in the meantime. What was your favorite color again?"
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a/n: this turned out a bit longer than i had planned but i hope you enjoyed it! if you’re sick while reading this i hope you feel better soon.
© mrowlai
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darkgodcomplex · 1 day
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Home Sweet Home
Wally Darling X Reader
CW: Manipulation, Obsession, Horror, Psychological Horror, Violence
Word Count: 11,754
AO3 Link
Wattpad Link
Here's the story:
You stand with hands on your hips, the sleeves of your baggy old college sweatshirt rolled up as you admire your new house. This is it... a new start.
Tying your hair back into a ponytail, you get to work. This might be your dream, but it doesn't come easy. The house you've chosen was cheap and definitely a fixer-upper. You leave the U-Haul with all your boxes parked in the driveway while you head up to the door.
You step inside, which immediately brings you to a dimly lit mudroom. The wood paneling is rotting. It's going to have to be replaced.  You kick off your shoes onto the dirt-encrusted floor, leaning your hand on the doorframe. When you peel it away, it comes back filthy.
Ugh. You need a sink.
Going further into the house, you head into the kitchen. The outdated orange shag carpet alone makes you groan. Plus, who puts carpet in the kitchen?
You head over to the large metal sink set up on the bright yellow countertops to wash your hand of the dirt. You turn the handle of the faucet.
Nothing.
You turn it more. Then off again and then on again. Still, no water comes out. You sigh, wondering if the water was shut off or if the sink is just another of the busted household items this house will provide.
The living room offshoots the kitchen. What was once probably beautiful white and flowered wallpaper has now yellowed and peels off the walls in large stripes. Several windows are cracked, but it doesn't look like it's from force. You guess it's probably from improper care in the cold.
There's a bathroom. As you creak open the door, you see something dash out. You shriek, scrambling back wildly as you watch the mouse slip away into a crack in the wall. You breathe heavy. You're definitely going to have to go buy some mouse traps tonight. Still, you cautiously enter the bathroom. When you turn on the sink, you're relieved to find that it runs.
You wash the dirt away, then flick your wet hands at the sink. Even if there were towels in the bathroom, you wouldn't trust them to dry your hands.
There's an upstairs, which you expect that you'll set up your bedroom up there. The stairs themselves though are awfully steep and seem to be littered with staples that stick out from the floorboards. You opt to avoid that for now and continue to explore the ground floor. There's a small closet filled with spiderwebs and a door that leads to the basement, though when you flick the lightswitch no light turns on down there.
You sigh, leaning your head against the door to the basement. Can you really do this? This is going to be so much hard work. You've scraped together all of your savings for this?
There's one more door at the end of the hall. You discover it's an office. It's still rough around the edges like the rest of the house, but it has a large window that takes up almost the whole wall. It looks out into the neighborhood.
You stand in front of it, admiring the view. You can see many houses, each one brightly painted with jolly colors, their lawns perfect. Butterflies and hummingbirds float near the bushes of flowers that are planted under the window. The sky is a brilliant blue, clearer than you've ever seen it before. This place truly is paradise.
One thing the realtor really sold you on was the neighborhood. She said that the community bands together in a way that she's never seen before. Seeing it now, you can already tell that these people are special. How can they not be when they create such a beautiful environment?
Yes, this will be your painting room. Just standing here now you feel a rush of inspiration. You want to paint this moment. You rush to the front door, eager to grab your painting supplies before the mood runs out.
As you open the door, you jolt back, you had not been expecting any visitors. You have an entire welcome crew at your front door.
"Hello neighbor!" A man with a stunning blue pompadour steps forward, extending a hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Wally Darling."
You gingerly take his hand, face flushing. He's clearly a charmer. His grip is firm but delicate.
"It's nice to meet you too."
"These are our other neighbors here, we have Julie, Eddie, Frank, Barnaby, Poppy, Howdy, and Sally!" Each one waves as he says their name.
"We wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood!" Poppy raises up a cake she's been holding. In fancy cursive font, it reads:
Welcome Home.
"Poppy is our resident baker." Wally grins. "She's who you want to cater all your events!"
"Oh, Poppy, will you do my birthday!" Julie chimes in.
"Of course." Poppy laughs at Julie, then turns back to you. "Here you are, dear." She hands you the cake.
You smile, this is so sweet of them! It truly makes this miserable house better. "Thank you! Um, my place is a wreck right now, but please, come in."
They all shuffle into your kitchen. Luckily the previous owners left you a kitchen table and some chairs so that your guests can sit. You set the cake on the table.
"So where are you from?" Frank asks, taking a seat.
"I actually came a long way." You give a nervous chuckle. "Wanted to start fresh... I'm from a little town in the middle of nowhere."
"Oh that's where I'm from too!" Eddie bursts out excitedly, then hesitates. "Wait, no." Frank pats Eddie on the back.
"This place seems like it needs a bit of work." Wally notices, hands in pockets as he leans on the counter.
Howdy nods along with him. "I have a bunch of supplies in my shop if you ever need anything." He says. "On the house for a new neighbor."
"Oh, I can help too!" Sally says. "I work on my sets all the time!"
"That would be awesome!" You suddenly have a bit more hope for this place. "Only if it's not an inconvenience for you guys of course."
"It's no issue." Wally promises, looking down at you with his half lidded eyes. "It's all a part of being in the neighborhood."
"When are we having cake?" Barnaby suddenly asks, eyeing it.
"Oh, um-" You glance around the kitchen. "All my kitchen utensils are still packed in the car..."
Everyone puzzles over this for a minute. Then, Barnaby reaches out and takes a handful of cake. His paws smear with frosting and he brings it up to his mouth to take a bite.
"What are you doing!" Frank demands.
"No plates and no utensils." Barnaby shrugs.
There's another pause. Then, you reach out and grab a handful too. The cake is squishy and messy between your fingers, but when you bring it to your mouth, it's delicious. Slowly, everyone is scooping up the cake, laughing as they play with it in their palms.
"This is ridiculous." Frank says, crossing his arms. "I refuse to act so childish!"
"Aw, come on, Frank." Barnaby says, leaning over. "Oh, you got something on your face."
"What? Where-"
"Right... there." Barnaby smushes some cake onto Franks face, smearing it down. Frank sits in shock for a second, then reaches a finger up to wipe the frosting at his cheek. He sticks the finger in his mouth, sucking at the frosting.
"Well... at least the cake is delicious." He admits. Everyone laughs, but soon it devolves into everyone tossing the cake. Julie and Frank team up to get Barnaby, Sally tosses the cake in the air while Eddie tries to catch it in his mouth, and Howdy and Poppy try to down as much cake as they can. Wally still leans on the counter, watching the chaos with a small smirk.
You slide next to him, cake still in hand.
"Sure you don't want a bite?" You grin, intending to smash it on his face. Before you can though, he takes his index finger and swipes it through the frosting, bringing it to your face and gently smearing the frosting onto the tip of your nose. He brings his finger back to suck on the small bit of leftovers.
"You can have it all, my dear." He says, returning to his casual, laidback position.
Eventually, all the cake the gone. Whether more is in your bellies or streaked along your floor, table, and walls, you're unsure. It's a mess, but somehow it makes the old house feel less dreary than before. Your guests head home, promising to come help with the house.
"Oh!" Julie turns back as she leaves, grasping at your hands. "We're having a barbeque tomorrow. You simply have to come!"
"I don't know." You chuckle. "I still have to unpack."
"Well, please keep us in mind." She lets go, giving a warm smile. "I had a lot of fun today." With that, she turns and scurries down the steps.
It's Wally's turn next. He gives you another one of his signature warm smiles. It makes your stomach flutter.
"I'm just in the Home over there." He says, pointing towards a peppy little red house down the street. "Come down whenever you need me."
"Thank you again." You say. He gives a polite nod before stepping away.
When everyone is out of sight, you sigh. It's already sunset and you haven't done any unpacking. One by one you bring the boxes in. Then, you puzzle over how you're going to get your larger furniture inside. In the end, you decide you don't need to bring in the couch, the desk, or the TV in tonight and that you can ask for help tomorrow, but you have to bring the mattress in now. It's a struggle, but eventually you manage.
That's it. That's all the work you're doing today. You can take all your stuff out of the boxes tomorrow.
However, there is one box that you unpack, labeled painting supplies. You set up in your new office, putting the easel in front of the window. It's pitch black out now, so you decide to paint the quiet calmness of the neighborhood at night. It seems as if everyone is already asleep, there's not a single window light on down the street. You throw a canvas on the easel, digging through your oil paints to find the right ones.
You notice Wally's house is right near your window, you have a perfect view of it. It only adds to your inspiration, using the darkness as a metaphor in your painting. It's the mystery... the curiosity... the intimacy. Despite being in two separate homes, you can't help but feel like you're glimpsing into his soul by painting his house.
It's nearly three in the morning when you finally finish your painting. It's crude and hastily done, but you enjoy it's charm. As you lay it on the floor to dry, you notice an odd detail that you don't remember adding.
There's a single light on in Wally's attic.
_____
Despite promising yourself that you'll get completely unpacked today, by midmorning you're already exhausted. You take a break, steaming yourself a cup of tea. So far in your packing, you've only uncovered one of your coffee mugs, so you're left sipping out of a chipped mug that reads: I DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID MUG.
In the very least, a couple of things are coming along nicely. You hesitate to unpack everything right away, since you'll surely soon be tearing up carpet and painting over walls, but the essentials are out. Still, there is work to do.
Although...
You glance at the time. The barbeque is going to be soon... should you go? While they were all very king to you yesterday, you really don't know any of them.
Maybe this is your chance though. You'd particularly like to know that Wally fellow a little more.
You've decided it. You're going.
You glance down at your work clothes, a ragged old sweatshirt and worn out jeans with paint splattered all over. You're going to need to dress better than this. 
Which box are your clothes in?
You spend another while digging through boxes. While you don't find dress clothes, you do find your stash of mugs. You set them in the kitchen. Eventually, you opt to just wear your paint splattered jeans but with a hole-free tee shirt. 
You make your way outside. As you exit the house, the warm summer air hits you and you take a deep breath in, enjoying the season. It's absolutely beautiful in this town. You're surprised no one outbid on the house in a place like this.
Walking along the street, you spot a picnic spot set up in Wally's backyard. It seems you're the last one to arrive. The delectable smell of fresh meat cooking on the grill catches your nose. 
"Yay, you came!" Julie practically jumps into your arms. 
You laugh, "I figured I could take a lunch break." 
Two picnic tables are set up next to the large grill where Poppy and Barnaby flip meat patties and turn hot dogs. At one table is Sally, Howdy, and Wally while the other is Frank and Eddie. Julie leads you over, taking a seat next to Frank.
"Hello neighbor!" Wally pats the seat next to him. "Come sit with us." 
You take your seat, giving a polite smile.
"How was your first night at your new home?" Sally squeals excitedly, leaning over the table. 
"It was fine." You shrug. "A little uncomfortable since my mattress was on the floor because I haven't set up my bedframe yet."
"Oh dear!" Howdy exclaims.
"What?" Eddie asks from the other table.
"It's nothing, Eddie." Sally rolls her eyes at him. "So when do we get to come help! Oh! What colors do you want to paint your walls? I was thinking bright! We can magenta or chartreuse or turquoise or-"
"Easy there." Howdy laughs, patting Sally on the shoulder. "I think we'll need to do some repairs before we can get into the decor aspect." 
"What needs to be fixed?" Wally asks you in his usual chill manner. "So that we can help."
You raise your eyebrows, mind scanning through the plethora of problems in that house. "The sink doesn't run, there are staples in the stairs, the basement light doesn't work, there are mice and god knows what else, and some of my windows are broken." 
Those are just the ones you've discovered so far.
Howdy runs his hand along his chin, "Some of those don't sound too bad. We can take some pliers to the stairs, then hopefully the light just needs replacing and isn't an electrical issue..." He trails off in thought.
"Food is ready!" Barnaby announces. Poppy sets down plates while Barnaby hands out the food. 
"Hotdog or hamburger?" Barnaby asks when he gets to you.
"Hotdog please."
Barnaby loads up your plate, "Say, how does the enthusiastic man eat his hotdog?"
"Huh?" You ask, staring up at him.
With a large grin, Barnaby leans in and whispers, "With relish."
You blink, taking a minute to process the joke. Then, you laugh.
"Thank you, I'll be here all week." Barnaby prides himself while sliding Wally a burger.
"When can I get you on stage with me, Barnaby?" Sally bites into her hotdog.
Barnaby shrugs, "Alas, my stardom is meant for small crowds."
Sally shakes her head, "One day I'll convince you."
"I'd love to see it." 
You bite down on your hotdog. It's probably the most delicious you've ever had. Does everything in this town taste amazing or are it's residents just master chefs?
"We have to go play lawn games!" Sally yells as she finishes her food. "Wally, you're on my team!"
"What are we playing-"
Sally grabs Wally by the arm, dragging him out to the field before he can protest. 
"Want to team up?" Howdy wipes his mouth with a napkin. 
"I think I need to digest my food first." You tell him, patting your belly. "Sorry."
"All good." Howdy leans over to the other table. "Hey Edds, you and me?"
"You know it!" Eddie says through a mouthful of burger. He shoves the rest in his mouth, hurrying to stand up. Barnaby and Poppy team up as well, heading over to the group.
That leaves Julie and Frank. Neither seem interested in joining the games. You move over to their table.
"Why don't you just ask him, Frank!" Julie whispers as you sit down. 
Frank looks at you nervously, "Julie! There's someone else here!"
Julie sighs, looking over at you. "You can keep a secret, right?"
You nod.
Julie looks at Frank expectedly. He sighs, hands fiddling with a book he keeps in his lap. "Fine."
"Frank likes Eddie!" Julie giggles excitedly. "And Eddie SO likes him back!"
"You can't say that for sure." Frank fidgets. "I was reading a study where they found that people are very unreliable in determining if they are being flirted with or not!" 
"But it's so obvious!" Julie groans. 
You glance over at the game being played. It seems to be some weird hybrid of croquet and tennis. Your eyes can't help but wander over to Wally, who is holding his mallet like he's never played a sport before. His hooded eyes meet yours, giving you a dazed smile. You quickly look away. 
"I just want to wait." Frank shifts uncomfortably. "Just to make sure that he likes me."
"How many signs do you need?" Julie shakes her head. 
Frank doesn't answer, he's too busy staring. You look over at where his gaze lands. It seems as if Howdy and Eddie won, as Eddie is jumping up and down in excitement and Howdy is doing an awkward victory dance. They lock arms, swinging around happily. 
Eddie trots over to the picnic table, breath heavy from all the jumping. "Did you see that winning shot?" He taps his foot happily, eyes glancing around the table. 
"Oh, I missed it!" Julie complains.
"It was a good shot." Frank looks up at Eddie. "Are you good at geometry? The angle on that shot was quite amazing to see."
Eddie gives him a goofy grin. "Angels? No, I'm not really religious." He pauses. "But if you want to talk about it more I'd listen."
Frank perks up, then starts on a long winded explanation about math. You take the opportunity to slip away.
Wally waves you over, making your stomach do a somersault. It seems Frank isn't the only one with a stupid little crush. The way you're practically drooling over him has you embarrassed, it's like you're a middle schooler again. You jog over.
"Want to play?" He asks, holding up a mallet.
"I thought you were in a team with Sally?" You glance over to see Sally standing with Howdy.
"She didn't want to be on my team anymore." He says casually, looking up at the sky. "Apparently I couldn't hit a brick wall even if I ran into it."
You can't help but laugh. Upon seeing you laugh, he laughs along too.
"Well I don't know how to play either, so we'll be quite the team."
"You two ready?" Sally swings her mallet over her shoulder. Howdy has his baseball cap on backwards.
You and Wally line up. What ensues is the most pathetic beatdown you've ever seen. Not only are Sally and Howdy more acquainted with the game, they're also just quicker and more agile than you and Wally. The two of you also have absolutely no coordination skills, constantly bumping into each other and dropping the ball. Wally just plainly face plants several times. Somehow, he always manages to laugh it off though. 
When Sally scores the winning point, she leaps into the air, grabbing Howdy by the arms. 
"Yay!" She squeals.
"Two victories!" Howdy grins. 
Wally dusts the dirt off his clothes. He had tripped again. "I'm afraid I dragged us down." He says, tilting his head as he looks down at you. 
You shake your head, "Did you see me out there? I think we're a perfect match." You blush, realizing what you've said. "I mean... perfect match as a team, of course."
"Yes." He echoes. "Perfect match." There's a hidden smile in his words. 
You glance over to see Howdy and Sally still celebrating. 
"I want to show you something." Wally diverts your attention back to him. 
"Oh, should I get the others?" You turn, but Wally grabs your wrist.
"No, I want it to be the two of us."
You and Wally slip away. You feel slightly bad that you're abandoning everyone, but Wally assures you that it won't be for long.
"Right through here." Wally ducks through a small passage in the bushes. The greenery is absolutely stunning here. Are plants usually this green? 
As you step from the shrubs, you're greeted with more stunning scenery. Before you are acres and acres of beautiful apple trees. The bright red apples dangle from each tree while fallen ones scatter the ground. It feels like something out of a storybook.
"I like to come here." Wally reaches up, picking you a nice plump apple and gingerly setting it in his hands. "I thought you'd like it too."
"This is so pretty." You stroll through the trees, fingers rubbing over the apple in your palm. This is something you'd like to paint.
"So you're a painter too?"
You pause for a second, wondering if Wally can read your mind. "Huh?"
"Your pants." He points and you follow his gaze. Ah, that's right, you're wearing your shitty painting jeans. 
"Yes, I paint." You tell him, turning. He follows behind you as you walk, hands tucked respectfully behind his back. You feel like a fancy Victorian woman and he your eager suitor. "You do too?"
"I do."
"What do you paint?"
He ponders on this. "Still life, mostly." He shrugs. "Apples." He picks one up from the ground, then tosses it. "They're my muse, one could say."
"Oh I see, a muse." You tease him. "Most artists' muses are pretty women or handsome men, you know."
"Does a handsome apple count?"
You laugh, "No."
"Since you clearly have a strict idea of what a muse should be," He trots to catch up so that he walks by your side. "Who is the lucky fellow that is occupying your thoughts and paintings?"
"I don't have one." You tell him very matter-of-factly. 
He shakes his head, smiling. "Perhaps you just haven't met someone handsome enough to be your muse."
"Perhaps." You smile back and finally take a bite of the apple. It's ripe and juicy.
"We should paint together." Wally shoves his hands in his pockets. 
"Apples?" You ask, raising a brow.
He laughs, "No, not apples... well, unless you want to." 
You hold your half eaten apple in front of you, pretending to study it like it's a piece of modern art. "I don't know... maybe I'm starting to see the complexity of it."
"Look a little harder." Wally nudges you playfully. "Maybe you'll finally find your muse."
"This apple is starting to look a little handsome."
"I knew you would eventually see my side of things." He watches as you take another bite.
"Tomorrow for painting then?" You ask. "Apples as our muse?" 
"Sounds like a plan." 
_____
Beautiful emerald green paint rolls onto the wall as you work. Somehow, it's even more stunning than the sample paint swatch. Your living room is going to look positively royal.
Beside you, Sally leans up, jabbering away, "-And then Julie had to come rescue me from out of the dumpster! Not only that, but the lawnmower was nowhere to be found!" She finishes her story, shaking her head as she applies more paint. "I still wonder what happened to it."
Howdy is on the floor, removing staples from where the ugly shag carpet once was. When he peeled it up, you were thrilled to find out that there were beautiful hardwood floors underneath. 
"Do these crazy things happen to everyone in Home, or just you?" You ask with a smile. It's still funny to you how the town is named Home, just another example of how perfect the place is. 
"Oh you should see all the trouble some of them get into." Howdy rolls his eyes. "It's only if you're looking for it."
"Have a little adventure, Howdy!" Sally teases. 
Howdy pulls out a particularly difficult staple with a grunt, "I've had enough adventure, particularly from that Wally fellow."
You perk up.
Sally laughs, "Do you remember that time he tried to sew his own clothes and got caught in the sewing machine?"
"How did he do that?" You laugh along with her.
"The idiot thought that he had to sew them right onto his body." The corners of Howdy's mouth twitch up. 
Sally continues chatting, "There's also this weird thing about Wally, be warned he-"
Howdy cuts her off with a cough, communicating something with his eyes that you don't quite understand.
"Err, I mean, he's just so naïve sometimes." Sally says. 
"That's true." Howdy adds. 
A silence falls over the room, the only sound being the occasional splash as you and Sally dip your rollers into the paint. It gives you time to wonder what Sally was going to say. Wally just gets so... what?
Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud thud, making you jump. Then comes more thudding. You blink, processing the noise for a second before realizing that it's knocking. 
"Oh!" You set down your paint roller. "I'll go get it!"
You rush over to the door, slipping through the kitchen. You fling open the door, out of breath from your jog over. 
It's Wally, dressed just as dapper as usual. No, he seems more dapper today. His necktie a little straighter and his hair more precisely groomed. The minute his eyes lock on yours he smiles, glancing down at your clothes.
"Painting without me?"
"Well, only my living room." You say, slightly flustered to find yourself in indecent clothes around him once more. You wish you would've been able to change into something nicer. "I wasn't expecting you so soon-" You glance at the clock you had hastily hung in the mudroom. "Oh wait, it's already noon? I'm so sorry, I meant to be ready-"
"It's no worry." Wally assures you, as casual as ever. 
"Are you coming back?" Sally yells from the other room. 
Wally tilts his head, eyes casting towards the noise. "Oh? There's someone else here?"
"Yeah." You feel bad about losing track of time. You sincerely were looking forward to painting with Wally! "Sally and Howdy are just helping me paint." 
"Let me just step in and say hi." 
You invite Wally in, leading him to the living room. It's nearly finished. 
"Oh, hi Wally." Howdy plucks out another staple. 
"You should've invited me, I would've done quite a nice job with the paint." Wally says casually. "It looks nice though, you all did a good job."
"It was kind of a last minute thing." You explain. 
Sally sets down her roller, "We had fun doing it! You would've been more help by assisting Howdy with the staples."
"Hey! I can do it by myself-"
You laugh, "I really appreciate the help, guys."
"That being said, I think I have her claimed for the afternoon." Wally slides in. "We're going painting."
 Howdy and Sally both take the hint. 
"Oh! We can come back later and help." Howdy stands, stretching out his back.
"Bye!" Sally gives a cheerful wave as they exit. "We gotta hang out again!" 
You wave back eagerly and they leave through the front door. You turn back to see Wally leaning on the doorframe to the living room, watching you with his relaxed eyes. 
"You really did you a nice job on this living room." His voice is ever so soft. 
You sigh, placing your hands on your hips. "This place still needs a lot more work."
"I know you can breathe some life into this place." Wally's eyes seem to sparkle. "Homes are very special, you know."
You shake your head, "Are we painting at the orchard?"
"Best place to find apples."
It's not long after that you and Wally have your easels set up in the orchard, plenty of fresh apples on display for references. Wally stands across from you, paint at the ready. 
"I'm still not so sure that I understand apples as a muse." You tease, reaching up to tree to grasp an apple. It's just out of your reach. "I bet you think they're complex or something." You mock like you're some kind philosopher, " Apples... the thing that made Newton discover gravity, the so called forbidden fruit."
"Or maybe they're not." Wally reaches up and grabs the apple for you, placing it in your palm. "Maybe they're just apples. Simple."
You take a bite of it.
"I guess I'm getting too deep about apples." You say in between bites, smiling. 
He smiles along with you, "Perhaps we should just paint."
"Let's."
You pour over your canvas, examining the half eaten apple with rigor. They are surprisingly difficult to get right. The small spots and stripes make the work tedious. 
"How are you doing the shading?" You ask, trying to peek at Wally's work. He shies away, turning his canvas so that you can't see.
"You'll see." Wally smiles. "I want to see your own interpretation, no outside influences."
"Is my work going to professionally assessed?" You tease, still struggling over the shading. "Should I be nervous?"
"Oh, very nervous." Wally replies. After a brief pause, he speaks up again. "What do you think of Home so far?"
"I really like it." You tell him enthusiastically. "I love the views, I love the weather, I love the people."
"I'm glad you like it." He says. 
"It's quite lucky I got that house too." You say. "It's insane that there were no other bidders when it's such a lovely place. I'm sure that someone with more money than me could've easily fixed it up and loved it here."
Wally merely smiles and the two of you fall into concentrated silence once again.
You fall into the trance of painting. It's not a feeling you're unused to. There's something about concentrating on the details that just makes you lose track of time. Eventually, you tune back in, taking a step back as you finish your painting. 
You're proud of it, you think. You've painted a small, half eaten apple resting in the grass, the field of orchards sprawled out behind it. It's a simple but elegant painting.
"I'm done." You say with a breath, looking up to see Wally watching you carefully. "How much do you have left?"
"Oh, I've been done for a while." Wally beams at you. "I'm very curious to see what you've produced."
Wally saunters over to look at your canvas. His eyes scan the painting, noticing the small efforts you put in. There is truly something amazing about another artist studying your work.
"It feels... happy." He says. "A simple kind of happy."
You pause, then slowly nod. "That's how I feel here in Home, I think." You chew at your lip. "I like it."
Wally takes your arm, leading you over to his painting. 
It's... you. You're leaning over a canvas, paintbrush in one hand and apple in the other. Your hair spills in your face and paint covers your clothes. It's clear where he put the most effort in though, in your face. Your expression is one of focus and concentration as you're hunched over, eyebrows scrunched and mouth slightly agape. 
It feels happy.
_____
Wally walks you home after you finish painting. He gifted you his painting and you gifted yours to him. He seems quite proud to own your artwork, even if it inferior to his. You're in awe at his skill honestly. 
"I had fun today, Wally." You tell him as you reach your house. 
Wally lights up, "I had fun too." He lingers at the door for a second, hands shoved into his pockets and painting tucked neatly under his arm. "I'll see you again tomorrow?" He asks. "I'll even help with house, if you want." 
You laugh, "That sounds great."
He flashes you a charming smile, "Goodnight, then." He does a half bow, turning and trotting away. You watch him go, heart pumping in your chest. 
As you close the door behind you, you can't help but jump and squeal excitedly. This neighborhood is truly everything you dreamed it would be. Your house is coming together nicely, you've got wonderful new friends, and now you've got the attention of a handsome guy! 
Nothing could ruin this.
You walk further into your house, stepping into the living room. It's a perfect start, you feel a sense of pride. 
Picking up a hammer, you head to a free space on the wall, pounding in a nail. You hang your new painting up, stepping back to admire it. 
You turn around, patting the doorframe of the living room before heading upstairs to bed. You've had a long day today and you're sure that tomorrow is going to be just as busy. Your bedroom is less put together than the living room, but the fact that you've made progress prevents you from feeling bad. 
As you slip into bed, you hear an odd noise. 
You perk up, pausing and listening for the noise again. 
It almost sounds like footsteps. 
Your heart pounds in your chest as you peek out from your room. The sound echoes up the stairs. It sounds like it's coming from either the kitchen or the living room. You grab the nearest heavy object, which just so happens to be a leg of an easel that you had taken apart for the move. It's a strong wooden beam. You hold it up high on your shoulder.
"Hello?" You call.
The only answer you get is more footsteps. 
Your hands tremble as you make your way down, placing your steps carefully. Your mind races through a million scenarios of robbery, kidnapping, and murder. 
When you reach the bottom of the steps, you decide to make sure you surprise this intruder. You come into the living room swinging. 
There's nothing. 
You stop and listen for a minute.
The noises are gone. No more footsteps.
You breathe a sigh of relief, running your hand through your hair. It wasn't even footsteps at all, must just be the old house settling. You laugh at yourself, shaking your head as you prepare yourself to go back to bed. Before you do though, you notice something amiss.
Wally's painting had fallen off the wall.
The next morning you're awoken by the sound of loud, unrelenting knocking. You groan, startled and tired. After the incident last night you hadn't gotten much quality of sleep. You know you're just being paranoid, but for some reason it really stuck with you. 
You roll out of bed, quickly throwing on clothes and heading downstairs. You wonder if Wally has come to help you fix the house up more. 
"Oh my god, hey!" Julie throws her arms around you, giving you a big hug. "I was worried you might not be home!" 
"Well, here I am."
"It's break time!" Julie tells you. "No more working on the house, you and I are going out."
You laugh, "Well, I would have to start working for it to be considered a break-"
Julie tugs on your arm, "Pleaseee go out with me?" She blinks up at you with wide eyes. "We'll have so much fun!" 
You glance back at your unfinished house, still reluctant to leave. Yet, you grab your coat anyways, stepping out into the sunshine. "Where are we going?"
Julie lights up, "You'll see."
You're lead through the neighborhood. As you walk, you're given the full tour by Julie.
"There's the supermarket." She points. "Oh and that there is Barnaby's house. He's still sleeping at this time of day."
You check your watch. It's nearly noon already.
"That's my house!" She points at a lovely flowered red house. "You're invited anytime, just so you know."
"How long did it take you to fix that up?" You ask, marveling at how elegant yet simple it is.
Julie thinks on it for a second, "Fix it up?" She asks. "It's just... always been that way."
You scrunch your face up, "You bought it like that?" 
"Bought it...?" Julie looks up, considering this. "I think... I've always lived here."
She seems confused, so you decide not to press it any further. Has Julie lived here her whole life? Where is her family?
That's when another odd thing strikes you. The entire town consists of single individuals that live alone in homes. You've never heard of such a thing. Sure, a few individuals here and there in homes is normal, but an entire town?
You notice Julie has gone quiet. It's an unusual change from her normally peppy self. You fear that maybe you pressed into something personal.
"This is the post office." Julie gestures, suddenly speaking up again. Her previous demeanor is forgotten now and her lively energy is returned. "That's where Eddie works."
You notice another familiar face poking about.
"Frank!" Julie bounces up and down excitedly, waving her hand. 
Frank jumps from the sudden noise, head swiveling to find the source. He relaxes slightly when he sees it's only Julie. 
You and Julie trot over to him.
"What are you doing here?" He asks, chin raised pompously. 
"What are you doing here is the real question." Julie teases. "Have you come to see Eddie?"
"No!" Frank tenses, eyes looking around nervously. "I just have a letter to send and wanted to make sure that it got here. Mailboxes and so unreliable-"
"Uh huh." Julie can't control her grin. "Sure, Frank."
Frank opens his mouth to say something else, but Eddie comes around the corner just as he does. You thought that Frank already looked nervous, but that is nothing compared to how he looks as he and Eddie make eye contact.
"Oh hey Frank!" Eddie gives a toothy grin, cheeks scrunched up and head tilting to the side. 
"Eddie!" Frank holds his envelope to his chest. "I-I've been looking for you!"
Eddie seems to perk up, "You have?"
"Yes!" Frank shoves out the letter. "I just needed to mail this."
"Oh." Eddie takes the letter. "Frank, you know I could've picked it up at your house, right?" 
"Well, he wanted to hand deliver it." Julie nudges Frank playfully and receives a glare in return.
"I'll take good care it, Frank, I promise." Eddie tucks the letter into his pouch. 
Julie coughs, "Well, we better get going, right?" She looks at you.
"Uh, right." You echo.
"You know, Eddie, I think Frank was talking about lunch?" Julie says. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was hungry! You two should go eat somewhere!"
"Julie!" Frank hisses.
"That sounds fun!" Eddie inputs.
"Perfect!" Julie grabs your arm. "Have fun guys! Bye-"
The two of you quickly stumble away. You can't help but laugh at Julie's blatant matchmaking attempt, Eddie's innocent obliviousness, and Frank's adorable embarrassment. Julie giggles along with you, leaning on you for support. 
When you're both far enough away, Julie speaks up, "Do you think Eddie will ever take the hint?"
You shrug, "Only if Frank tells him directly."
"Like that'll ever happen." She lets go of your arm, standing up straighter. "Oh! We're almost there?"
"There?" 
"The reason I brought you out!"
"Oh." You reply, following behind her as she picks up speed. "I thought the tour was why you brought me out here."
"Don't be silly!" Julie suddenly stops. "I brought you out here for this!" 
You're not quite sure what you're looking at. The bright summer colors of Home are here. They are present in the brilliant green trees with fresh fruit and in the yellow dandelions and white daises and baby blue forget me nots. You've always adored the vividness of the neighborhood, but here...
It just stops.
It's like there's a line drawn in the forest. The fresh flora wilts and dies along it, the line marking there on out as dead. 
"Was there... a fire?" You ask.
"No fire."
Even the sky looks bleaker on the other side.
You step back, "Some sort of parasite?"
"No parasites. No fires. No droughts, floods, locusts, or diseases."
You step forward again, gaining a bit of courage. Slowly, you reach out, sticking it beyond the line.
Nothing happens. You feel normal.
"Why?" You finally ask. "Why is this here?"
"I can't say."
When you finally return to your house, it's later than you would've liked. It's past dinnertime and you haven't even eaten yet. As you approach, you notice a familiar face sitting on your porch.
"Hey!" Wally stands quickly, brushing off his pants. "I've been waiting for you!" He adds with a playful tease.
"I like to play hard to get." You prod him back, unlocking the door and welcoming him in.
His large eyes flick over you. You feel like you're being examined. "Where have you been?" 
"I'm sorry, Julie took me out on a tour of the town." You tell him. "I saw the market, the post office, Barnaby's house-"
"And you stayed in town the whole time?" He presses. "I looked for you, I didn't see you."
You chuckle, "You didn't have to come searching for me, I'm sure you have more important things to do." You avoid the original question. You're not sure why, but you feel like the forest is a secret between you and Julie. 
"You are the important thing." Wally follows behind you as you clean up the kitchen. 
You pause, then quickly resume your work. "Am I?" 
As you reach up to tuck a mug into the cupboard, Wally takes the mug from you, reaching up with ease to place it for you, "I would've imagined that you would've taken the hint by now, but it seems that I must take the liberties myself." 
Wally leans on the counter and faces you, "Do you find me attractive?" 
You're not sure what to say to that, you sputter out nonsense, "Well, err-"
"I find you attractive. Every part. I find your quips and teasing attractive, your laugh and the way your cheeks scrunch up when you smile, the curve of your lips and the paint droplets on your pants." He takes a second to breathe. "And honestly, there's nothing more in the world that I would like to do right now than to help you paint your house or whatever else you would ask of me." 
You wait a moment, processing his words. 
"Whatever I ask of you?"
He looks earnest, "Whatever."
You tug him into a kiss, closing your eyes. He seems surprised at first and the kiss is slow and hesitant, each of you too afraid to do much. You're slightly surprised, for such a smooth talker, Wally doesn't really seem to know what to do. Has he kissed someone before? 
You decide to take the lead. His lips are soft and gentle as you mouth over his bottom lip, tongue sticking out to play around. 
Wally's hands find their way to your waist, gripping you tight as if he's checking that you're real. His thumb rubs small circles at the small of your back.
He seems to mimic you, tongue poking out to prod at yours, eventually making it's way into your mouth to feel around. He's gentle, but he is slowly growing more confident by the second. Wally tugs your waist in tighter and tongue going deeper into your mouth almost possessively. 
The intensity of the kiss escalates quickly and you find yourself having to pull away to catch a breath. You open your eyes to find him staring down at you, his normally half lidded eyes wide open and exhilarated, a faint blush scattering his cheeks.
"I liked that." Wally says quietly. "We should do that more often."
_____
Life is great.
You've gotten quite a bit done on the house, mostly with the help of all the neighbors. The living room, kitchen, and bedroom are all finished and you've honestly never felt more at home. When you go to the supermarket, Howdy always greets you with a warm hello and a free sample of whatever the special of the day is. In the mornings, Eddie stops by for idle chat as he brings the mail. Whenever Poppy makes a new treat she comes over to give you some. Even with just a stroll through the neighborhood you're always greeted and smiled at by the other neighbors. 
 You sit in your backyard, cross-legged in the grass with your canvas propped up awkwardly on your legs. Your brush glides along the canvas, curving around to get the details just right. You bring the brush up to your face for a moment, biting on the wooden end as you think. 
"You look cute when you're concentrating."
You blink up in surprise to see Wally leaning on the side of your house, arms crossed. 
"How long have you been there?" You smile at him, setting down your canvas and standing up.
Wally merely shrugs with a grin. You run over to him, throwing your arms around his neck. He grips onto your waist, lifting you up and spinning around once before setting you back down and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead. You hug him, taking a moment to enjoy his masculine cologne scent before pulling away. 
Yes, life is great. Wally Darling is yours.
“I was thinking you and I could spent the day together.” He hums.
You nod, “Let me just clean up my painting supplies-“
“Let me help.” Wally follows, carefully taking your paintbrushes as you grab your wet canvas. He trails behind you as you go inside, setting up your canvas to dry in your art room as Wally washes the brushes in the kitchen sink. 
When you return, you find Wally with his head tilted and eyes cast towards the ceiling, frozen at the kitchen sink. He doesn’t seem to notice your presence.
“Is… something wrong?”
Wally blinks, snapping out of it and turning his head to smile at you warmly. “No, of course not.” He replies. “I was just thinking.”
“Oh?” You ask, walking up beside him as he finishes washing the last brush.
“You haven’t been to my Home yet.” His half lidded eyes cast towards you. 
“No, I suppose I haven’t.” You say. “Odd, considering you’re over here all the time.
Wally chuckles, “Well, would you like to go?”
Before you know it, you’re inside Wally Darling’s house. It’s somehow exactly how you expected it to be. Everything is neat and tidy, carefully placed and well maintained. There’s an old charm to the house, as if it stepped out of the 60’s. 
“It’s weird being in here.” You say, wandering through his living room. There’s framed photos on the walls of Wally and his friends. You take the time to examine them.
“Why so?” Wally watches you with warm amusement.
“It just feels so…” You stare at a picture of Barnaby holding Wally in a tight hug. Wally looks like he’s being squished. “Personal.”
Wally laughs, “Well, it is personal.” He wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder as you continue to stare at his pictures. 
“No, it’s different.” You tell him. “Somehow it feels like I’m getting a glimpse into your soul.”
There’s a pause.
“Well maybe you are.”
Wally lets go, turning and heading up a set of stairs. “Let me show you my painting room.” You follow after him.
He leads you to a large, beautiful room. With the high ceiling and long window sill big enough to lounge on, the room looks elegant. Coupled with the mass amount of paintings lining the walls and easels of the room, it looks like a modern art gallery.
“Wow, Wally.” You stare at his work, secretly jealous of his technique. 
He seems proud of himself. “I think-“
There’s a sudden loud crash from downstairs. You jump.
Whipping your head around, you turn back towards the door. “Did something fall?”
Wally merely frowns. “Yeah. Something fell.” He says, turning his eyes up.
“Oh.” You say. Clearly Wally seems to not be concerned with it, so you won’t be either.
“Why don’t we go back downstairs.” Wally suggests, taking your hand.
The two of you settle down on the couch. You giggle and tease Wally for his old school television. You swear that thing probably is still in black and white.
As you chat, you both slowly inch closer together. It starts with a simple finger brushing at your thigh, then an arm is popped around your neck, and then finally Wally is leaning in and kissing you. 
You let yourself be taken by the kiss, planting your hand at the back of his neck and brushing your finger along the base of his soft hair. Wally places his hand on your cheek and you press into it, tilting your head more into the kiss. 
Your chest flutters, eyes blinking open for half a second so that you can stare at him. To your surprise, his eyes are already open and watching you. He squints happily at you, smiling into the kiss as he deepens it, tongue pressing further into your mouth.
Wally’s other hand trails down your arm, causing goosebumps all the way. He flicks his tongue against the sensitive roof of your mouth before retreating back. 
You feel words pressed against your lips but you can’t hear them. They’re hardly even a whisper, more like he is just mouthing words. 
No, he’s repeating something. You try to understand him.
“I love you.”
You blink, pulling away from him.
“I love you too.” You whisper.
Yes, life is great.
Until it isn’t.
_____
Lightning cracks, illuminating the room as you finish up moving some furniture around. You stand with your hands on your hips, staring out at the freshly decorated art room. Finally, the work on your house is all done.
You could hear the wind beat about outside and the hard rain hit your windows. There was something odd about it all, though you couldn't quite put your finger on it. Storms are natural, after all.
Though, there hadn't been a single storm since you moved in.
Walking through the finished halls of your house gives you a sense of accomplishment. Patting the wall, you glance at the clock.
It's nearing time for you to meet up with Wally. The two of you had planned a date out to the pond to feed ducks, though you suppose that the rain ruined those plans.
You near the window, watching the dreary sky. It's midafternoon, but it looks like it's the middle of the night. Your eyes sweep over the neighborhood, making eye contact with Wally's house.
Wait, no, not eye contact. It's a house, it doesn't have eyes.
Still, the lights are on and now you have this odd feeling in your stomach.
As you look back up at the sky, you think the clouds don't look like regular rainclouds. They seem a sickly black color and you remember the forest that Julie had showed you. The dark clouds remind you of the baren land.
Is this a sign it's spreading? The lump in your stomach grows heavier. You feel dumb for forgetting about it.
You glance at the clock again. Perhaps there's enough time to check before Wally arrives. You rush to your mudroom, tugging on your rain coat and rubber boots.
As you trek through the rain, you wonder if you should've just stayed in your house. The wind moves you about, making you stumble over your heavy boots. The rain blows sideways, rendering your raincoat nearly useless as you're soaked anyways.
It's never rained this bad in the neighborhood. Actually, now that you think about it, it's never rained at all in the neighborhood.
Soon enough you reach the edge of the neighborhood, where the rot stretches as far as you can see. You were right, it seems to be spreading. The rot has crept forward, consuming what was once a small woodsy park path. 
You stare down at where the sidewalk ends and the forest starts. Why does the sidewalk stop?
Where is the road to lea-
"What are you doing out here?"
You startle, flipping around quickly. Wally stands in his usual attire, his navy hair and knitted overcoat soaked from the rain.
"I just wanted to explore in the rain." You lie. You don't even know why you lie. You trust Wally.
Right?
Wally glances towards the forest, scrunching his brows, "Did somebody tell you something?"
You quickly shake your head, "No, I was just walking around and... I found this." You gesture toward the forest. "What is this, Wally?"
Wally frowns, looking at you, not the forest. "It's been so warm lately, there was a small fire that lit up the grass around here." He looks up. "We really needed this rain."
It's a lie. Your stomach turns in knots. Wally is lying to you. This rot has been here a while. If it had been a fire, new green growth would've sprang up ages ago.
"We should get out of this rain." Wally says, water dripping down his face and arms. "So much for feeding ducks, huh?" He extends his hand.
You take it, though hesitantly. Before, you hadn't suspected that he would be a part of this, but now nothing makes sense.
"Wally, how did you find me out here?" You ask as you walk with him. "We were supposed to meet up at my house."
"Hm?" His eyes cast upwards as he thinks for a moment. "I suppose I just... had a feeling."
This makes you even more wary and you feel bad for it. You love Wally, and yet you're now doubting his motivations. You don't even know how he would have anything to do with the forest's color. 
You and Wally arrive back at your house. You grab a towel for him to dry off with and he rubs it over his plush skin. 
Plush skin?
You hadn't thought about it before, but isn't that weird? You look at your own hands. You are definitely not plush.
Wally throws the towel over his head, wringing out his hair. You stare at him and the more you look, the more unsettled you get. He has no nose, is that normal? Something in the back of your mind is telling you it isn't.
Wally's intense eyes peek from behind the towel. "Everything okay?"
"Yes." You shake your head, turning away. "I was just watching you."
He gives a lazy smile, eyes relaxing. "Well, I like watching you too."
You give a laugh, "Thanks, Wally." 
He stands, walking over and hugging you from behind. Before, it used to feel gentle and safe, but now it feels like entrapment. He nuzzles into your neck, pressing soft kisses. 
"What shall we do now that our plans have been ruined?" He smiles, hot breath on your neck. 
You pull away from him, "Actually, I'm feeling a little tired. Maybe rain check?"
Wally's face falls, then suddenly lights back up again, "We could nap together-"
"No, no, I mean, I just want to be alone right now." You tell him. "I just... had a rough night's sleep."
Wally stares at you for a long moment, wide eyes peering into your conscience. Finally, he smiles, "Oh, no worries, neighbor." He hands you back your towel. "We'll do something tomorrow when it's less rainy, right?"
"Right." You nod, watching him head to the door.
Wally grasps the doorknob, turning to you at the last second, "Oh, one more thing." He leans towards where you stand in the kitchen doorway. "I wouldn't go exploring in the forest anymore, too many nasty things out there, if you ask me. Wouldn't want anyone getting hurt." He gives a light smile, opening the door and heading out. 
You watch him go, hurrying to the window. You keep your eye on him until he is home. 
Something is not right in the neighborhood. 
You throw your rain attire back on, determined to get to the bottom of this. You take a deep breath, patting the side of your house.
"We got this." You whisper.
As you step outside, you notice that the rain seems to have worsened. You hold onto the hood of your raincoat, pushing past the wind. When you reach the edge of the forest, you don't stop. Instead, you trudge forward into the rot.
It's squishy against your feet, with the occasional odd lump of hardness. Everything is wilted and scorched. You wonder what could possibly be the cause.
As you wonder, you start to really think about the circumstances in the neighborhood. You lift your hand again, staring at it.
Flesh. You have flesh. Not felt or feathers or fur. 
How did you move into a neighborhood with such creatures?
No, wait, how did you move into the neighborhood at all?
You bought the house... but you don't remember any real estate agents or documents.
You... you haven't even been working. What have you been doing? You've just been playing around the neighborhood. In fact, nobody in the neighborhood seemed to have jobs. 
Your brain feels fuzzy. None of this makes sense.
You're still hiking through the decay, finding nothing of note. That is, until you see green in the distance. You perk up, sprinting forward.
Yes, there is green grass ahead. Whatever the decay is, it isn't very big luckily. 
As you get closer, you furrow your brow. 
Somehow, you've ended up on the other side of the neighborhood.
How?
You step onto the grass, realizing you've ended up by the post office. 
That doesn't make sense. You walked away from the neighborhood, there's no possible way you ended up on the other side of it.
Perhaps you got mixed up. You turn around, jogging through the diseased wood. 
This time, you end up near Julie's. 
How do you walk away from something and end up back at it? 
Walk around the world.
The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Wally wanted you away from the forest for a reason. This is his world, and you're in it. 
You sprint up to Julie's house, pounding on the door. "Julie!" You yell. "Julie!" 
You get no answer, so you move over to the window, shielding your eyes against the glass to see inside.
There's no one there.
You tug your raincoat closer to your body, looking up at the ever blackening clouds. 
You have to confront Wally. 
Back at your house, you prepare to face him. You're not sure what to expect, but you want to be ready for anything. You dig through your belongings, procuring a baseball bat and a box cutter.
Your house whines against the wind, creaking and settling in the powerful storm. You sit for a minute, putting your head in your hands. All this work on your house, all this friendship, and is any of it real? Nothing seems to make sense. Why? Why is any of this happening?
As you leave, you sigh.
"I'll be back." 
The wind catches on your house and it whines louder. 
When you arrive at Wally's house, you go to knock on the door only to find it already open. You press it open, keeping your guard up as you grip the baseball bat. 
"Wally?" Your voice echoes off the walls as you step inside. It seems awfully dark in Wally's house. 
Lightning cracks, illuminating the front windows of Wally's house. For a moment, they are eyes, observing you. The lightning then leaves darkness and you hear the front door slam shut. You turn back towards the door, tugging on the doorknob only to find it locked.
"Caught the snitch."
You turn to see Wally illuminated in the darkness, a figure hanging over his head.
It's Julie. She hangs from strings, her limbs twisted and broken. Her jaw hangs unnaturally slack, face bloodied. 
"In fact, I caught everybody." More lights irradiate from the darkness, casting large shadows on the wall as they illuminate the bodies of the other neighbors, all in similar states. 
Wally walks towards Howdy, "Too much talking lately, really a shame. I wanted to have you willingly."
You stand frozen, hands still on your baseball bat.
"I'm not going to hurt you." He laughs. "Plus, they're fine." He gestures towards the bodies on strings above him. "I just took away their will. Clearly they couldn't be trusted with it on their own." He clicks his tongue, shaking his head disapprovingly. 
The edges of your eyes crease up. You still don't understand. 
"Come, let me explain." He gestures to the couch. You don't move. "Please, sit."
You don't.
Wally looks up. "Home?" 
To your amazement, a chair glides over, moving behind you and slamming into your legs, making you tumble down onto it. It slides over to where Wally now sits.
You clutch the edges of the chair in fright. 
"That's Home." Wally explains. "Home is... the source of it all. A manifestation of desire, if you will." 
You swallow, "It's alive?" 
Wally grins. It's wider and realer than any grin you've seen before. "Of course." He crosses one leg over the other. "It's alive just like you and me are alive."
"But you're plush." You tell him.
"I'm built on the desires of thousands of young children across the nation that watched my show." Wally looks nostalgic. "Oh, you were such a dedicated little viewer, you know that?"
"Huh?" Show? What is he talking about.
"You used to sit every night in front of the TV, you know that?" Wally continues. "And you would say, 'Okay, Mr. Wally, show me how to draw!' I taught you everything you know about painting."
 ... Yes, the show. How could you forget? The theme song starts to play in your head. You loved that show as a kid.
"You loved me so much." Wally sighs. "And I loved you, and then you went away."
"I was an adult." Of course you went away, you couldn't sit around watching TV all day. You had a job, you had a family... your family! How long have you been gone? "I had responsibilities." 
"I desired you." Wally looks at you desperately. "You desired a place you belonged! I watched you, how you struggled to fit in, the long hours at work, the family arguments. I made it all go away! You've been so happy-"
"They were struggles, but they were my struggles!" You shout, standing up. "You don't get to decide for me!"
Wally sighs, head falling to the side. "See, this is why I wanted you willingly." He casts his hand up. "Oh well."
You feel tightness tug at your arms. No, it's tugging at your bones. You look, thin wire strings protrude from your arms and spring from your legs, pulling you up towards the ceiling. 
"I'll just take away your free will for a while." Wally runs a hand through his dark hair. "Then you'll want to play along." 
You can feel the strings scraping against your bones under your skin. You struggle against them, getting yourself tangled in the process. 
"What shall we act out first?" Wally stands, pacing around the room. "We did have that pond date-"
You twist, reaching your hand towards your back pocket, where the box cutter is stashed. It's an awkward reach, but you manage to grasp it, pushing it open with your thumb and slashing at your strings. You fall to the floor, grabbing the bat and taking off running for the door.
Wally clicks his tongue, "You were so docile before you knew the truth. I'll have to stamp this disobedience out of you now."
You ram the baseball bat into the door, denting the doorknob until the lock falls apart and you can run out the door.
There's no exit. The forest loops. Surely there must be a way out, right? Where, where...
Wally laughs, "Where are you running to? There's no where to go!"
You don't know, but away from here. You sprint, running towards the only place where you feel safe, your house.
"My little viewer." Wally sounds agitated now. "Enough games. If you come back now, I'll go easy on you."
Over your dead body. You're out of breath by the time you reach your house, slamming the door shut and locking it, back pressed against the door as you pant and Wally begins to bang on the door.
Surely there must be something of use to you. Think, think... where is the exit out of this place? 
You hear Wally start to kick down the door. It cracks and starts to splinter with each kick. 
One of the neighbors' houses? No, they might've said something. 
Wally is stronger than you thought. With a final kick, your door crumbles, swinging open. Wally looks even more deranged now, eyes large and locked on you. 
"My dear," he breathes. "Let's be reasonable, come back with me." 
He extends his hand. When you don't take it, he frowns, moving forward. He grasps you by your face, fingertips digging bruises into your cheeks as he pulls you closer.
"Do I need to repeat myself?" 
You press your hands against his chest, trying to push him away. This only angers him more. Wally lifts his hand, readying it to fall down on your face. You close your eyes, preparing yourself for the eventual hit.
It doesn't come. 
You open your eyes to see Wally's hand still in the air. Except... there's a string attached to it. Wally's expression has changed from anger to fear, he stares at his arm as another string appears on his opposite arm. You back away from him.
Wally looks at you, "Please, don't-" He reaches for you, only to have his hand yanked away before he can. 
It's... your house. It dawns upon you quickly and more strings appear from Wally's skin. He struggles, the strings dragging him.
"Please, please, I can't-"
You look up at your house, reaching and patting the wall. "Take him away."
"Please-" 
Wally screams as the strings scratch against his bones, dragging him kicking and screaming towards your basement. 
_____
"Oh, I have some drinks in the fridge, let me grab you one!"
You weave your way through the bustling party, dodging Barnaby as he throws grapes in the air and catches them in his mouth and sliding past the way-too-handsy Frank and Eddie.
You're celebrating your finished house, and the party is going spectacularly. Two guests still haven't arrived, but you're not too worried.
You snatch up glass bottles of soda that you bought at Howdy's shop earlier that day and toss one to Sally, who gracefully catches it.
"You've put a lot of work into this place." Howdy says with a smile, leaning on the counter.
You glance over, "Yeah, I couldn't have done it without you guys though, thank you all for your help."
"Oh, you did most of it!" Sally waves her hand.
"It's just what neighbors do." Howdy shrugs.
The doorbell rings and you rush to the door, throwing it open to reveal Julie, holding a small present in her hands.
"Sorry I'm so late, I had to wrap your gift!"
"You didn't have to get me a gift!" You laugh, throwing your arms around her for a big hug. She squeezes you tight before you both pull away from each other.
"No, I really had to." She holds out the gift. "After everything you've done for all of us."
You gently take the wrapped gift as she steps into your house, waving at everybody.
"Hello everybody!" Julie squeals, making her way over to nudge Frank playfully. "And hello, Frank and Eddie!"
Frank turns a deep red, shying away. "It's really nothing-"
Eddie gives a wide smile, gripping Franks hand tighter, "Almost losing all your control makes you confess things."
Julie gives a light smile, "Well, we never have to worry about that again."
You politely set the gift on the counter for later, turning back towards everybody. "Then I propose a toast!"
"We'll need bread for that." Barnaby grins, nudging you playfully. You shake your head with a laugh, gently shoving him away.
Everyone raises their sodas, letting you speak.
"To freedom, to free will, to all of us. It's what lets us choose our paths, chase our dreams, and live life to our own terms. To making our choices, learning from our own mistakes, and creating our victories."
Everyone cheers.
"Most importantly, to you." Julie adds in, pointing her raised glass to you. "You've made this neighborhood a wonderful place."
This makes everyone cheer louder. You bump glasses with everyone, letting Barnaby rub your head affectionately and Sally rope you into a side hug.
"Now open the gift!" Julie claps.
You laugh, grabbing the gift and tearing it open. Sitting inside in a beautiful framed picture of everyone in the neighborhood.
Well, everyone except-
The doorbell rings again, and you politely excuse yourself to answer it.
It's Wally. He looks rough. Dark bags underline his eyes and his usually tidy hair is in disarray. He looks up at your house nervously.
"Oh, hello Wally." You watch him carefully. If you look close enough, you can see the strings buried in his arms and neck.
He holds out flowers, which is nice, you guess. You take them, opening the door for him to come inside. He hesitates, then steps in.
You linger, your eyes following him as he greets everyone else. He got what he wanted, you're stuck here. There's no way out.
You can see his stiff movements, the fish line strings tugging at his skin and bones, uncomfortably present at all times.
"Are you coming?" Julie yells. "Poppy's going to bring out the cake!"
"I'm coming!" You shut the door, rushing over.
It's all okay, because he's trapped too.
18 notes · View notes
wyniepooh · 4 months
Text
Miss
coriolanus misses his family and the many capitol luxuries, but the person he misses the most, is right here in the districts.
peacekeeper!coriolanus snow x district reader. Forbidden love, sneaking around, tension. Mentions of guns! Corio has to pretend nothing is going on between him n the reader, tries to do a professional pat down on reader, but obvi does a little more bc he’s kinda obsessed.
"excuse me, miss."
your shared laughter with a local salesman dissipated as quickly as how it had originally started. the air around you seemed to chill, although the sun was still as present as ever, providing a warmth your thin sweater couldn't compare with.
you turned around, breath hitching when you focused on the familiar blue eyes you were just staring into a couple nights ago. His pristine grey uniform contrasted with the wrinkled, blue outfit you usually saw him in, and you almost giggled at how serious he looked. your lips began to curve, and your feet were moving before he could say another word.
"cori-"
"we're here for our regular checkup. making sure you don't have any illegal substances or dangerous objects on hand."
you paused in your steps, breathing out a gentle 'oh’ while the brightness on your face dimmed. coriolanus turned to another peacekeeper behind him, giving him a nod to approach the old man behind you. while he began lazily patting down the man, coriolanus placed a light hand on your forearm.
"follow me," he whispered.
You trailed behind him, observing the firm grip he had on his gun, and the confident strides he had with his black boots and solid helmet. It was hard to believe that this was a man you had shared endless laughs with, a man you've felt breathlessly on your lips, your chest, and on your neck.
He halted when he reached a curved wall a few feet away from his comrade, giving him one last look before breathing a sigh of relief. He turned towards you, letting the gun strap fall from his shoulders and resting the bottom on the ground.
"Turn around and face the wall."
Your brows furrowed and your mouth fell agape.
You had thought he was taking you somewhere private, somewhere you could both be alone and finish your conversation from last night. But hearing his stern words echo, it was clear that that was not in his plans.
Seeing your shocked expression, he silently tilted his chin back towards a group of more serious-looking peacekeepers standing guard behind him, guns aimed and eyes searching for sight of anything— a trick, a mishap, an accident.
Anything that would give them an opportunity to warm up their weapons.
You sighed, gently rolling your eyes as you turned away from coriolanus, stepping closer to the gray, concrete wall. You heard his footsteps approaching behind you, slow and a little hesitant.
"Hands on the wall," he muttered.
You almost jumped when you heard his voice, which was surprisingly close to your ear and oh-so-reminiscent. You tilted your head with annoyance, but complied, resting both of your palms on the cold, gritty surface above your head.
You felt his hands on your shoulders first. They did a quick, professional sweep over both your arms and hands before traveling down your back. He paused at your waist, both hands cupping the curvature, his thumb rubbing circles at the tender flesh of your hip.
"I miss you," he breathed.
So quietly, so faintly that you would've missed it had you not been completely still.
You wanted to reach back, to see his face and to relax your hand on his. But you could feel too many pairs of eyes on you to do what you truly wanted.
"I miss you, too,” you responded in the same, hushed, tone.
coriolanus began to crouch down, his warm breath hitting your thigh when he did so. Shivers spread from your shoulders to your toes, your bottom lips slipping between your teeth as your nails dug into the wall.
He dragged his hands down both of your legs, slower than what was acceptable, hands lingering on your ankle for longer than needed. time didn’t exist in the moment. you closed your eyes and relished in the comfort of his warm hand, imagining that you were both back on the dance floor, his arm around your waist, your arms around his neck.
A single finger dragged up the side of your body as he finally stood up. You were both quiet for a second. Suddenly, he exhaled sharply, patting the small of your waist to signal for you to turn.
As you did, you were almost afraid to look into his eyes. Afraid that once you did, you wouldn't be able to look away. but when your eyes finally did connect, he looked the same as he did last night. He was the coriolanus from last night. he opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped by a sudden smack on the back.
"all done, private snow?"
coriolanus turned and saluted, gloved hand hitting the hard material of his helmet. "yes, sir."
The higher up stood in silence while giving you a quick scan, mouth twisted like he had just eaten something sour. After a suffocating minute, he finally spoke again. "Alright. Gather the others and return to your quarters for further instructions."
coriolanus saluted him again, eyes finding yours again only when the commander had long disappeared beyond your vision.
but once he did, his previous gaze returned. Blue eyes glossy, lips parted and hands clenching the strap of his gun so tightly his knuckles turned white. He swerved his head cautiously towards the peacekeepers, you joining him in observation.
He looked back with only one intention in mind.
He captured your breath in an instant, both of his hands cupping the side of your face while his thumb grazing the bottom of your chin. His helmet sunk painfully into your forehead, but that only motivated you to push your lips further into his. You placed a hand on his chest, fingers clenching and grasping at the fabric of his shirt.
The moment was over before it had really even started.
He pulled back abruptly, eyes still closed and mouth still hungry. You gently opened your eyes, squinting as you adjusted to the bright sunlight. Coriolanus' lips were swollen and wet, red from the sudden and brutal force and shiny from the remnants of you. His chest heaved up and down. He slowly backed away.
"See you next time, miss,” he sputtered, breath still wavering. He looked away. With a twirl and a cloud of sand, he had marched away.
"Next time," you muttered to his shadow.
You sighed, stepping away from the corner and out into the open market once more. You took a few steps, and then your strides faltered.
With furrowed brows, you reached down to your shoe. A combination of a gasp and a chuckle escaped your mouth when you pulled out a square of neatly folded paper from the back of your heel.
Miss you. Need you. Midnight, tonight. Meet me at our spot.
-
A/n: im a sucker for forbidden love anything lolz!!
2K notes · View notes
entitled-fangirl · 3 months
Text
The cold ground provided no comfort.
Felix Catton x reader
Summary: The reader finds Felix in the maze after a strange encounter with Oliver. They decide to drink their problems away.
Words: 910
Warning: drinking, death, poisoning, cursing.
Author's note: This was a request and DUDE IT'S GOOD! Here's the original ask: "hi! can you write something where the reader is Felix's best friend (they both have feelings for each other), and she finds him just as Oliver leaves him in the maze with the bottle of alcohol he drugged. neither reader nor felix know it's spiked so they're drinking it together and they die together? if it's too much you can totally ignore this!" Hope I did it justice!
Masterlist <3
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She pushed her legs to move faster as she ran through the maze in search for Felix. She had been to Saltburn many times, and she had been through this maze just as many, but now it felt like she knew nothing of the place. 
But she knew Felix was there. Of course, he would be there. That’s where he goes to think or when he’s overwhelmed. They often shared intimate moments at the heart of that maze when things became difficult. She loved those moments with him. She loved the feeling it gave her when he wrapped his arms around him. She loved the look in his eye when she said something witty. She loved when his lips would pull into a smirk. God, she loved him. But, she would never admit so.
Her sprinting was interrupted by hitting what felt like a brick wall. 
Oliver.
Oliver Quick was a confusing being. While initially she was excited to have him stay at Saltburn with the Catton’s, she slowly grew to see that he was a little more than strange. 
She balanced herself, gawking at him slightly. “Oh, Oli. Thank god. Have you,” she paused, catching her breath, “Have you seen Felix?”
Though it was dark, she could still see the hesitant look in his eye. He turned his body to the side, pointing in the direction he had just come from.
She nods, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” She began to walk in that direction before stopping. “You okay, Oliver?”
“I’m not sure.”
She nods. This party was becoming a nightmare. But she didn’t have time to make sure he was alright. She needed to find Felix first. 
She needed to know he was alright.
Her legs began to sprint again in search of him. And, she finally found him.
She rounded the corner, letting out a soft breath at the sight of him. He was so beautiful. 
He stood, leaning against the statue that lay in the middle of the maze. His angel wings were still on him. It was dark, but she could see in his stature that something was wrong. Very wrong.
She approached him slowly, her feet crunching the ground with every step.
He turned, an angry look in his eyes. They immediately softened seeing that it was her. “Oh, angel. Didn’t hear you.”
She nods, continuing to close the gap between them. “Sorry. Had to see you were alright.”
His lips pulled into the grin that she loved so much. “Yeah, angel. Just… had something happen.”
She rested her hand on his chest gently. “With Oli?”
He nods. 
She wished she could take the heartache from him. The pain. She would carry it deep within her heart if she could, just to keep it from reaching his soul. He didn’t deserve any of this.
She looked down to see the alcohol bottle resting on the ground. “You been drinking, Lex?”
He nods again, his shoulders relaxing under her touch.
She shrugs, “Well, don’t let it go to waste, huh?”
He grins slightly. “I like the way you think, angel.”
Angel. Her heart always lept at the word every time it came from his lips. His angel. She was his angel. 
 He reached down to pick up the bottle, pulling it to her lips.
A little while later, and a few drinks later, they both sat on the ground. His back rested against the base of the statue, her back against his chest. Her head laid against his shoulder. She felt his lips began to kiss her neck. “…Fe..?”
He hums.
“W… what.. you doing?”
His lips grin against her neck, “Dunno. But… it feels… right.”
He was right. This felt right. It felt perfect. Like they were meant for each other. 
She moved her head to look at him, their faces inches apart.
“I… I think I… I love you, Lex.”
Their lips were mere inches from touching. 
He stared down at her lips, his jaw clenching and unclenching. 
Perhaps this was a bad idea. They were both quite drunk, and their friendship meant everything to each other. But they didn’t care enough to worry if this would ruin them.
He leaned in to her, their lips brushing before she pulled back with a horrid feeling. “Imma be sick…”
She crawled forward in case she would vomit. Something felt wrong. Perhaps it was alcohol poisoning. She already knew the hangover tomorrow would be horrendous.
He pulled himself to his feet ungracefully. He stumbled towards her, falling to his knees at her side. “Angel…?”
She let out a groan. “Just… hold me, Fe…? Pl… Please?”
Even sober, he would never deny her.
He pulls her to him, letting his arms wrap around her as her head laid on his chest. She could feel his uneven breaths in her hair.
“I feel… dizzy, Lex. I’m… tired…”
“Fuck. Lay… Lay down. Let’s lay down.”
He pulled her down with him, their bodies laying on the cold dirt. He rested on his back, his eyes closed and his hand still on her waist. She cuddled close to him, her arm laying over his torso.
His voice was a mutter, “Close your eyes, angel. I.. I gotchu.”
She didn’t need to be told twice.
Her eyes closed.
….
The two lovers lay dead in the morning, holding each other close, for the cold ground would never provide comfort to the lost.
..........................................................................................
962 notes · View notes
feyascorner · 2 months
Text
9 | The Fangs Between Us
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summary. Rather than taking offense, he merely smiles. “You’re so harsh, love.”
“I wouldn’t be harsh if you didn’t deserve it.”
“I’m aware.” His voice lowers. “Though I rather like it when you’re cruel to me.”
You blink. 
Has he always looked at you like this?
warnings. angst, comfort, slow burn, tav reader is a bard, italics are flashbacks
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
parts. TFBU masterlist
a/n. officially in act 2 so there's like a few weeks of a timeskip!!!! finally getting to that blurry line between hatred and...wtv they are
also praying the tags work this time
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“Wake up,” you whisper. “Wake up, Astarion.”
His body shakes as you pull him closer to your chest, ignoring how cold his skin feels against yours. There’s nothing out here except the two of you and the blissful gaze of the moon glimmering against all the other stars in the sky. Here, it’s as if nothing else exists.
Yet, the nightmares continue to haunt him.
“Cazador, he’ll come for us. He’ll come for you. He’ll make me watch as you die and laugh at my agony before he tosses me into that damned prison again for another year. Maybe even more,” he rasps. “Gods, you were so–there was so much blood—your blood—and all I could smell was–”
You shush him, running your hand through white curls. The sensation seems to calm him just the slightest. “He’s not here. I’m alive, and so are you. See?”
Gently, you raise his palm to where your heart rests and wait patiently for him to come back to you again. He melts into the steady thumping of your heart, shoulders slowly relaxing. It takes some time, but eventually, his panting slows, and he slumps into your touch. When you pull him close again, he shakes his head.
“I’ll kill him for what he’s done to me and what he could do to you.”
You answer him by intertwining your fingers with his own. In response, he tightens his arms around your waist.
“I’m going to love watching him scream.”
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Crashing onto the ground does little for your already trembling knees.
“Again.”
Weeks have passed since your last uncomfortable encounter with Astarion, and you’d much prefer to keep it that way. And while things have mostly smoothed over with your companions, the obvious issue of the spawn remains a concern, though the murders have decreased significantly in passing times. You’re grateful there aren’t as many bodies, but it also makes you wonder what’s preventing them from killing as many as they did. Fear it, even.
Lae’zel’s wooden sword wipes you off your feet again, and you land face-first into the grass. Embarrassment floods your cheeks despite there being nobody else in the park.
“You’ve gotten rusty, istik.”
Clambering onto your knees, you grip your own sword to stabilize yourself. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s gotten significantly better?”
“Flattery won’t save you on a battlefield, bard.”
“‘Was-bard,’” you correct her, using the sword to bounce back onto your heels. “And I think it’s saved us more than a few times. Remember that time I persuaded Yurgir to kill all his friends before we killed him?”
“A silver tongue has no use if the enemy is deaf,” she lunges at you, and you barely manage to stumble out of the way.
You hiss. “Why the hell would I be fighting a deaf enemy? And can you please warn me before you try to stab me?”
“There are no warnings in a real battle.”
“We’re not in real battle!”
She ignores you and lunges once more without warning.
You land on your ass again and again until you’re sure there’s a nasty bruise on half of your legs. There’s not enough time to register the soreness spreading to your knees, however, because by the time you’re up, she’s already coming at you again. It’s hopeless, you think, blocking another attack. Just as you’re about to give up and admit defeat, you see an opportunity in her stance. Seemingly laid back with how miserably you’re failing, you take it as a weakness and practically pounce at the opportunity to launch at her in return for your own bruises.
By some miracle, it lands.
She doesn’t fall as pathetically as you did, but she stumbles.
“Have you lost your touch, Lae’zel?”
You whip your head around to the voice where Shadowheart is under the shade of a tree, a letter gripped in her fingers. She paces closer to you and your opponent, raising a brow at the state you’re in. “Was it really necessary to beat them so harshly?”
“It worked, didn’t it? They managed to hit me,” Lae’zel scoffs, a hint of pride in her tone.
“Well, as wonderful of a time it is to watch you fight one another like beasts,” Shadowheart rolls her eyes, lifting the letter. “Tav and I need to get new clothes tailored, it seems.”
Lae’zel snatches the letter before you can take a look, her eyes scanning over the words before shooting to you. “A celebration?”
“A ball, more like,” the cleric steals the sheet right back, handing it to you. “In our honor, of course, for defeating the elder brain. About time we received something in return.”
You only briefly glance at the words printed on the letter. “This is too much.”
Both heads turn to you inquisitively. “I thought you’d be ecstatic for something like this. I recall you always used to sing about the songs people would make about your adventures.”
“That was ages ago,” you sigh, but Lae’zel doesn’t seem much happier either.
“They choose to celebrate while the city’s citizens are being picked off like prey by spawn? No wonder its inhabitants have turned out so puny,” she glances at you while she speaks. You contemplate rolling your eyes, though you’d rather not get knocked on your ass again.
“You and Gale can go tomorrow. I made reservations at the tailor for all of us, but Figaro says he can only take two a day,” Shadowheart tells Lae’zel. “You wouldn’t mind if I took your punching bag for a few hours, would you?”
“Tchk. I have the wizard as another target if need be.”
She tosses her braid over her shoulder as she nods. “Great. Let’s hurry then.”
They don’t give you much room to protest in the matter, already having made up their minds—not that you were going to object in the first place. You’re honored, really, that the city finds you impressive enough to throw a celebration in your honor, and you know your companions are more than deserving of it, too. But it’s as Lae’zel said.
There’s another battle brewing under the city, in its shadows, and in plain sight, yet you can’t do anything about it. It’s not like the elder brain. Killing the brain itself was enough to rid of the mind flayers, but in this case, killing one spawn only leads to hunting 7000 more. Most of which are being lied to by Astarion’s siblings.
You shake your head to rid of the thoughts. No. You deserve this. You went through hell and back with that bloody parasite in your head, so hells be damned if you can have one bloody night to yourself. One that doesn’t consist of consistently worrying about whether another body will drop dead while you sleep blissfully in the walls of your own home. You need this after all you’ve been through.
Still…
The silence as you walk alongside Shadowheart makes you cringe.
It’s not like she’s angry at you, nor are you at her. You understand her reactions toward Astarion, and you like to think that she does too. But with how things ended with him last time, your interactions with the cleric have grown increasingly curt, with short conversations baring down to the bare necessities. You’ve tried to speak with her, but each time the two of you are alone, the guilt gnaws away at your stomach—your confidence along with it.
This time, you swear. This time you’ll apologize.
“Shadowhea-”
“I shouldn’t have done it.”
You blink. Twice.
She doesn’t look at you, continuing to stride through the city streets. “It was unfair of me to blow up at you for letting Astarion feed. It wasn’t my choice, and I know that. I was only…”
You wait for her to continue, increasing the speed of your footsteps to catch up.
“...It was a selfish reason,” she mutters. “I did not want to lose you to him again. I’ve seen you the last time he hurt you, and you were practically a stranger to all of us. Even with defeating the elder brain, you didn’t seem happy in the slightest. He ruined so much that I—-I instinctively tried to make a decision that I have no control over.”
“It won’t happen again. Lying, I mean,” you blurt immediately. “I’ve learned, as hard as it might be to believe. I don’t want to drift from you again, either. I’m just sorry it took so long to bring this up.”
“I’m in no place to complain. It took weeks for me to understand how in the hells your thought process seems to work…And how you manage to make such bad decisions that somehow have a knack for working out,” she purses her lips. “I still don’t understand. Not completely. But I do also trust you know what you’re doing.”
You don’t know what you’re doing, but you think it’s better to avoid telling her that.
She smiles, and you already feel lighter. “It’s a miracle I’m alive, to be honest.”
“It really is. Trust me, I’d know,” she snorts in return.
“I do have quite the skilled healer at my side, which helps.”
Shadowheart stops in front of Figaro’s store, glancing back at you. You hadn’t even realized the two of you had walked this far, but she shrugs with a smug grin as she pushes through the door.
“Whatever would you do without me?”
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You’ve searched the Blushing Mermaid at least a dozen times over now, in case you missed any of Dalyria’s things that might aid you in your search for the other siblings. Despite the tavern owners blocking the entrance, a simple mage hand or two was enough to pry open the wooden boards nailed to the basement door.  It’s been nearly three times now that you’ve come up empty-handed, but what harm could a fourth try do? Sure, you’ve scrummaged her desk seven times alone, but perhaps you might have missed a drawer or two…
The stillness of the night is disturbed as you lift the hatch leading to the basement, waving away the dust that flies into your face. You pocket Dalyria’s journal and begin your descent downward. The humidity hits your cheeks, and you sigh, swallowing your distaste for the crumbling lair to resume your investigation without any distractions. You expect another endless night of useless rummaging through the Hag’s old things and some of Dalyria’s own belongings, but doing nothing would weigh too heavily on your conscious.
Just as you enter the actual lair, you find that you are not alone.
A blond man stands on the other side, his back turned to you as he searches the desk you’ve already looked over multiple times.
Petras.
Sure, you’ve been searching for him for quite a while now, but for him to just waltz into you like this? You’re not sure if you’re insanely lucky or simply unlucky for not having stumbled into him until now. He remains unaware of your presence, and you take the opportunity to reach for your knife, willing your footsteps to feel lighter to avoid detection. Another skill a certain rogue taught you at a certain point, but never mind that.
The floorboard creaks under your weight.
Dammit. You’ve never been as good as he was.
He whips around, immediately on the defense. But as soon as he spots you, his shoulder relaxes, a scowl falling as he blinks. “Oh. You.”
Embarrassment burns in your cheeks, feeling like a child who’s been caught stealing an extra sweet from the cookie jar. Still, you straighten your back, shifting so he can’t see the knife clenched in your hand. “What are you doing here?”
“I was wondering when I’d see Astarion’s pet again,” he ignores your question, stepping away from the desk toward you. It makes your body tense. “You’ve been up to quite a lot since the last time we spoke, haven’t you? I hear you nearly captured my sister.”
“I’m not his pet,” you snap, more harshly than you intended. He raises a brow. 
“Fine. His blood bank.”
Your sharp glare is enough to send him your sentiments.
“Not a very willing blood bank, I see.”
“What are you doing here, Petras?” you finally snap.
He ignores you again, and this time, you contemplate chucking the knife at his head. “How’s my brother doing? Horrible, I hope.”
“He’s fine,” you retort through gritted teeth. It’s the nicest thing you can conjure up at the moment. “We would be doing better if you weren’t making a bloodbath of the city.”
“You nearly killed my sister as well.”
“Your sister is the one that attacked us after she said she was going to kidnap Astarion like he’s some sort of object. What was I supposed to do?”
“Well, I can’t blame you. She’s always been stubborn,” he shrugs. “But I am disappointed you chose to take my brother’s side after all he’s done to you. I would pity you, really, if you hadn’t gone and killed almost four of us already.”
“You can’t blame me for self-defense.”
Petras frowns. “Tell me, why didn’t you take our deal?”
“What?”
He paces a few steps toward you, standing at the platform of the lair while you stare up at him in bewilderment. “We’ve been watching you for an extended period of time now. We offered you everything you could possibly gain from a deal like this one, and you still rejected it. You’d get rid of us and keep the city safe. All the while, you’d never have to see my brother again. Dalyria says it barely seemed to phase you. I want to know why.”
“It’s—” you trip over your own tongue. You don’t even know why you feel obligated to answer him. “It just felt right at the time.”
“What kind of half-baked answer is that?”
“I answered your question, didn't I? Now answer mine.”
Petras furrows his brows, glancing at Dalyria’s desk behind him. “I take it you know what we plan to do?”
You purse your lips, and it’s enough of an answer for him.
“I wanted to take Astarion by force, personally. But Leon and Dalyria…they’ve grown considerably soft after Cazador left,” he rolls his eyes at the thought, crossing his arms. “...A shame. That kind of fragility won’t get them anywhere in this world. Those fools are destined to die or to live at the bottom of the barrel, forever feeding on city rats.”
The way he speaks of his siblings makes your stomach churn.
“You’re a bigger fool if you think I’m going to let you go through with the ascension,” you hiss. “You’ll kill all those spawns. They’ve put their trust in you to lead them, and you’re lying straight to their faces as if their lives aren’t worth the crap on your shoes–”
“And how did things turn out the last time you tried to stop the ascension?”
This makes your throat go dry.
“Take this as our last warning, bard. Or else we’ll come and take him ourselves.”
“He’s your brother,” you blurt in exasperation, waving your hand in disbelief. “You can’t possibly want to kill him, even if he’s an asshole from time to time! Cazador is gone. You’re free! There’s nothing else to run away from!”
You don’t know why you’re defending him.
But it pours out of your chest, and you already know trying to choke it back up won’t reverse what’s already been said.
With your words seemingly going in one ear and out the other, Petras clenches his fist at his side and glowers down at you with a sharp inhale. Despite his attempts to appear composed, you can see the vein bulging from his forehead, threatening to burst if you push him any longer. “He stopped being my brother the second he tried to ascend.”
“Still—”
“He attempted to kill the rest of us for the sake of his own wellbeing. What makes him any different than Cazador himself?” he argues. “Cazador always took a special interest in Astarion. I see now that it’s because they’re so similar. In life or in death.”
For some strange reason, this makes your blood burn.
You can hear Astarion’s gasps as his master’s nightmarish toll awoke you both on those starry nights when the parasite still swam in your heads. How cold he’d felt in your arms, rasping into your chest as you calmed him. White curls brushed against your hand as you pulled him close. You’ve never wished to the gods for much, but in that moment, you begged them to let him forget. To give you something—anything—to soothe the trembling of his hands.
Astarion could have been like Cazador. He’d come dangerously close to becoming the very monster that tortured him for centuries, but he hadn’t. Whether it was voluntary or not, it doesn’t matter because, at the end of the day, he isn’t Cazador. And you plan to keep it that way as long as your fingers can still clutch your blade.
“I was planning on paying you a visit,” Petras says, catching your attention once more as he slips out a scroll from his sleeve. “Though I suppose you’ve made this easier on the both of us…especially if you die here.”
You take a step toward him, heels digging into the ground. “If you think I’ll just—”
“If you’ll only get in my way, then I have no problem with watching you perish.”
With a shout, the scroll glows a lime green, and a long groan echoes from the bodies scattered throughout the room.
Shit.
The spawn adjusts his hood back around his head, sparing you a pitiful stare. “You’ve chosen your side, and it's the one that's destined to lose. Good luck, bard…I hope your death isn’t as painful as it could have been at Astarion’s hands.”
And just as the undead begins to crawl toward you with an agonizing screech, he puffs up into a cloud of red smoke and vanishes.
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You need a bath. Terribly.
Barely scraping out with your life, you can’t say you’re a pleasing person to look at with the dirt and blood smeared across your body. The sleeve of your shirt is torn open, and while a few healing potions have done the trick to heal most of your injuries, the more minor splits and cuts remain an insistent reminder of the war you’ve just declared with the vampire spawns.
Well, they’re the ones who declared it, but the point stands.
You manage to wash out a lot of the blood by the time you return home, praying your disheveled state can’t be seen with the effort you’ve put in to look presentable. Your worries are put to rest, however, when you realize just how late it’s gotten into the night, as all your companions remain blissfully asleep as you limp into the house, barely able to stand upright.
Everything is a blur. How you managed to fight off a dozen undead is a mystery to you, but it’s not unwelcome. At least there’s nobody here to scold you.
But even that, you realize, is a false sense of security when you sense him from the stairs. You’ve learned not to anticipate any creak in the floorboard when he’s the one pacing on them. Rather, you’ve learned to expect a concerning bloodthirsty presence and two eyes boring into the back of your head as if you’ve grown another head. It eventually becomes easy to sense his aura even from across the living room.
You hope the darkness conceals the bruises on your body. “What do you want?”
“You’re bleeding again,” he says, and it’s not a question. “I could smell it from upstairs.”
A scoff. “What are you? A dog?”
Astarion doesn’t bother responding to your snide comment, coming closer. You can finally see his expression in a daze as he approaches your vicinity. He’s present, but not really, as his focus shifts from you to your hand to your face again repeatedly as if he’s unsure what he’s even doing here.
You’d recognize his mannerisms anywhere.
“Are you drunk?”
“I recall you saying you were visiting the tavern.”
“I was at the tavern.”
He barks a laugh. “My dear, you can tell as many pretty lies to the others but not to me. I can see right through your little game like an open book.”
Curse him.
“I asked you a question first,” you opt to change the subject, remaining firm. “How much did you drink?”
“I didn’t break any rules, as far as I’m aware,” his words slur messily as he leans against the wall, a pink hue spread across his cheeks. “I just drank…a tiny bit more than usual.”
He’s most undoubtedly tipsy, at the very least.
Astarion pushes himself off the wall and toward you, where he squints down at you with what you assume to be some variation of curiosity. His eyes do not hold the usual hostility they usually do, somewhat clouded in a mist of relaxation that’s dangerously close to overflowing. You inch backward.
“Your turn,” he breathes. “Why are you bleeding?”
While you were out risking your life, the bastard must’ve been having the time of his life if the unsteadiness of his steps is any indication. You bite the inside of your cheek bitterly.
“I met Petras just now…more like ambushed, actually,” you respond, pacing the kitchen to wipe off the dirt staining your elbows. You pour yourself a glass of water, but the second it touches your lips, you flinch, the split on your lip still too new to be challenged. So, instead, you set the glass down, eyeing the way he mindlessly stares at you without a thought running through his mind.
Still, he’s giddier than usual, snorting at the state you’re in. “You couldn’t have possibly lost to my brother. He has muscle but barely any wit.”
You remain silent, and his smile grows wider. “Oh! You really let the bastard get away. Well, isn’t this a surprise! Excuse my error; perhaps you aren’t as invincible as I pegged you to be.”
“He caught me off guard.” Hot discomfort courses through your veins.
“Pish posh,” he waves you off, teetering in your direction. “It’s no good if you refuse to admit defeat, my dear. It’ll come back to bite you in the behind later.”
You watch with half-lidded eyes, unmoving from your spot beside the counter as he scrummages around the cabinets for nothing other than the very substance that’s reduced him to this pitiful state. Ironic, you know, considering the tavern had practically been your home only a few months prior. “How did you even get drunk? There isn’t nearly enough blood here for that.”
His face brightens when he finds what he’s been searching for. He uncorks the glass bottle and inhales the stench of blood. While it makes you scrunch your nose, he sighs dreamily, shoulder going slack. “Gale accompanied my hunt again, and I managed to find not one but two bloody bears. One of which was oh so gratefully already wounded. You can be smart when you want to be; I’m sure you can imagine the rest.”
You don’t want to imagine it, actually.
“I think you’ve had enough,” you pluck the bottle from his hands, and his expression immediately falls. He almost looks like a kicked puppy. It makes your chest swell with pride.
“Why? Would you rather I drink from you?” he tries to reach for it, but you step out of the way. “As enticing as that sounds, I’ve already had my fill of exotic blood for tonight. All I need is the dessert to top off the feast I’ve had, and I’ll be satiated for at least a few days.”
You glare at him. “You’re already drunk, you don’t need anymore.”
“But I want more,” he slurs again, and you attempt to move the bottle behind your back, but his hand is already expecting this maneuver. With embarrassing ease, the bottle slips into his grasp, and he takes a long sip of blood while forgetting how you remain caged against the counter, arms blocking any sort of exit you can take to slip away.
You can count his eyelashes from this distance.
He lifts his hand to wipe at his mouth, and much to your relief, you manage to escape the suffocating feeling of being surrounded by him. His scent, his voice, just everything. You close your fists, itching to retreat into the comforts of your own bedroom rather than continue to watch his focus zone in and out until narrowing down on you. “Are you done?”
“Mm, it’s sweet, but not sweet enough. It’s not quite a dessert, I’m afraid.”
“You don’t even like sweet things,” you scoff. You don’t know why you remember this. You shouldn’t remember this. It’s not even your concern anymore.
He stares at you. “I make exceptions.”
Unwillingly to figure out the implications of his words (and whether or not it comes off as a threat), you run a hand through your hair and sigh. “Petras seems hell-bent on kidnapping you.”
“Let him try. The poor fool wouldn’t stand a chance against any of us, much less all of us simultaneously. At least it’ll make for quite a show.”
“And let him kill more people in the process?”
Astarion tilts his head, albeit only slightly. He lacks the usual polish of his charm. “Ah, we couldn’t dare allow a few unlucky souls to perish. It’s not like the inevitable fate of death is waiting for them anyway.”
Sarcasm dripping from his tongue, you decide he’s not nearly sober enough to talk about this. He’s barely keeping himself upright with his arms perched on either side of the counter. He’s close enough that the scent of blood muddles all of your other senses. The softness in his eyes makes you squirm, and the small voice in your head that is your intuition screams for you to get away before…well, you’re not sure what, but it’s what it’s telling you.
“Go to bed,” you order him, though it sounds more like a plea. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
“The night’s only begun, though.”
The answer spews out immediately. “I miss to see where that’s my problem.”
Rather than taking offense, he merely smiles. “You’re so harsh to me, love.”
You open your mouth to respond, but the nickname catches you off guard. It’s one he hasn’t called you since…everything. One that you’ve learned to bury into whatever corner you can find in your memories, hoping never to see them again. For a split moment, you can feel your resolve falter. Still, you refuse to show him what a simple word does to you and steel your will to leave this for a proper time when you’re both not nearly delirious. One from blood and the other from a battle.
“I wouldn’t be harsh if you didn’t deserve it.”
“I’m aware.” His voice lowers. “Though I rather like it when you’re cruel to me.”
You blink. 
Has he always looked at you like this?
He’s not just drunk, you reason. He’s completely wasted.
“Astarion,” you lean away. “You’re drunk.”
He ignores your warnings with a click of his tongue. “My mind is clearer than it's ever been after I got that damn parasite out of my head.”
His delirious expression says otherwise.
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sigh irritably. “Whatever game you’re playing, I want none of it. I’m tired, so just leave me be, will you? Get out of my way.”
“I could say the same to you.”
“You’re the one blocking me from leaving!” you fume, pointing at his arm.
“That’s not what I mean. You’re…” he sighs, dropping his head wearily. “…you’re no different than that parasite, come to think of it.”
Appalled, you just gawk at him, jaw agape. “Please tell me I did not just hear you say that.”
He laughs, throwing his head back as he straightens his back. His arms fall back to his side, providing you just enough space to squeeze out of the way, but you find yourself staring up at him as he recollects himself. “It’s rather frustrating. I suppose, at the very least, unlike that worm, you’re a pretty thing to look at.”
What in the hells is going on?
First, he calls you a parasite and then proceeds to flatter you barely two seconds later, having nothing but hazy blurs in that thick skull of his. You wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to kill you again next. In fact, you think it’s probably best to retreat now when you can—even if he’s gazing down at you as if he expects an answer to his previous statement.
You should leave.
Your legs remain rooted in place.
You should definitely leave.
“Call me that again, and I’ll install bars on your windows,” you grumble, only half meaning it. Mainly because it would be a hassle to build. “Just go, Astarion. I don’t want to speak with you.”
“Convince me.”
You quirk a brow. “What?”
“Convince me that you don’t want me here,” he says firmly. “Then I’ll leave.”
Gods, has he lost it?
“Are you serious?”
“Am I ever not? I may deceive you, but I always take you seriously. You must know this.”
Barely stopping yourself from punching that smug smile off his face, your brows furrow. And with gritted teeth, you hiss. “Well, for one, you stink of blood.”
“What a pleasant fragrance indeed.”
“Two,” you continue. “You’re barely standing on both feet, which tells me you aren’t in any position to discuss what I want to right now—which, by the way, is your own damn brother.”
He hums.
“Three, you’re an asshole.”
“Very convincing, darling.”
“So I’ve heard,” you snap, rolling your eyes. “Do I need to say more?”
Astarion steps closer, making your shoulders tense. “Tell me more about how I’m an asshole.”
The blood he drank must contain some sort of drug, surely.
“You leave bottles all over the living room,” you begin, and slowly, the words begin to spill out as if they’ve been waiting to be thrown at him for a while now. “You don’t help clean at all. You make jokes only you find funny. You fight with Shadowheart all the time, and it makes everyone uncomfortable. You walk around at three in the morning and scare the crap out of me just because I wanted some water.”
He nods. “Go on.”
“You’re always sneaking out, even though we tell you not to. You don’t even tell us where you’re going and then get surprised when Lae’zel wants to execute you again! You come home at bizarre times, and the hallway smells like blood all the time, and—and—-” You’re rambling now, you realize, but you’re too exhausted to give a rat’s ass about it. So instead, you push a finger into his chest pointedly, scowling. “---you’re just not pleasant to be around. You’re the biggest asshole I’ve met, and trust me when I’ve met a lot of assholes. I’d rather all of them than you.”
Astarion’s lashes flutter as his gaze flits across your face. “Is that so?”
With narrowed eyes, your fists tighten. “Hells, I don’t even know why I’m here with you because I should’ve been at the tavern sleeping with some other random bastard by now if your damn brother didn’t-”
Suddenly, the breath in your lungs is knocked out as the back of your hips bumps against the counter, knocking over your glass of water.
Before you can discern whatever emotions are being evoked by his lack of awareness, the already minimal distance between the two of you closes as he smashes his lips against yours. It’s harsh. Fueled by hatred, it’s by no means a pleasant show of affection. It burns, sending sparks throughout your entire body as you sink into his touch, feeling the full force of the smallest of movements; he seems dangerously close to what you might describe as desperate.
Unable to fully process what’s happening, you only stand there, stock still.
Your eyes might fall out of its sockets with how wide they are.
He’s kissing you. 
Astarion is kissing you.
And instinctively, your body, if for a split moment, kisses back.
What. The. Fuck.
Thankfully, you’re quick to realize what’s happening, and you abruptly shove him away, stumbling in the process. It seems he’s sobered up on his end because he appears just as shocked as you are, the blood staining his pretty lips being the only proof that the kiss did indeed happen. He blinks rapidly, first trying to take in your expression. You don’t think you’ve seen him this lost in ages. But that's not your concern right now.
He starts. “Darling, I–”
Your fist punches into his stomach, and he reels.
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Best ways to restrain your Whumpees (a subjective scale)
Tied to a chair: 7/10. Classic, gets the job done. Rub their skin raw while you're at it.
Cuffed to the chair: 9/10. The more cuffs the better. Sure, cuff each wrist to an arm chair. But what if you also cuffed their wrists together with just enough slack so their circulation doesn't cut off? ... what if you didn't give them enough slack? What about their legs?
Chained to the chair: 4/10. Oppressive weight is nice and all, but unless you know what you're doing, these are easy to slide off and best used alongside other methods.
Strapped to the chair: 6/10. Better suited for impersonal settings.
Duct taped to the chair: 7/10. Potential 9/10 if you rip the tape off every time you move them. Do you do it hard and fast, listen to their sudden scream? Or do you do it slowly, savor each pitiful little whimper?
(Surgery required) Put magnets in their wrists: 9/10. Make them try to lift their arms, only to feel like their skin is ripping from the inside. Make sure they know you put the magnets in there. Nothing that will make them sick, you reassure. Just making sure they can't go anywhere without you un-magnetizing the arm rests.
Chained to the wall: 7/10. How much room do they have? Is it only one wrist, both on the same chain? Each one on opposite sides of the room? What about ankles? Do their steps rattle? Can they toss and turn in bed without making any noise?
Chained/cuffed to the floor: 10/10. Absolute humiliation. Forced to kneel, bow their head, cower like a dog before you. Their restraints holding them down every time they try to rise against you, reminding them of their place.
Ankles chained to a pole: 6/10. Oh sure, you can run. You just can't go very far. An interesting idea, but overall mediocre.
Leash wrapped around a pole: 8/10. Leave your pet unable to wander too far, perhaps keep their food bowl just out of reach. Make them dependent on you for bathroom breaks, food, and water.
Tied to a beam/pole: 8/10. How big is the pole? Are they tied so tight that all they can do is squeeze their shoulder blades together, and every time they try to relax the ropes tug them back? Is it large enough that their entire arms can wrap around it? A little too big for that? Did you tie up their feet as well?
Tied horizontally to a beam/pole: 9/10. So many ways this could go! Arms and legs above them like they're a pig on a spit, or one of those rotisserie chickens in the grocery store. Arms below, facing up, like they're laying in bed. Forced to look down at how high up they are, unable to do anything to get down.
Dangling by their wrists: 8/10. Once again, a classic choice. Rope or cuffs work here.
Dangling by their hair: 2/10. Not a long-term solution, hair will be pulled out. Only works with certain Whumpees. Only suited for short-term punishments.
Dangling by their neck: 7/10 if done right. Once again, a temporary solution best used to scare and threaten your Whumpee. I cannot overstate that you must be careful with this method if you like to reuse Whumpees. Remember to let your Whumpee down once they pass out!!
Dangling by their leash and collar: 6/10. Same concerns as above.
Dangling by their waist: 4/10. Has some potential, but have not seen it used much if at all.
Dangling by their ankles/feet: 5/10. A good way to disorient and weaken your Whumpee, but must be used in moderation. Excessive blood rush to the head can cause permanent damage and makes your Whumpee less fun to play with.
Standing in water: 4/10. A good short-term punishment, but can cause loss of toes and even feet of water gets too cold. Proceed with caution.
Gags: 9/10! Good for defiant Whumpees, Whumpees in transport, ones who can't learn the lesson not to speak. Just remember to take it off when you want to hear their screams.
Small rooms, holes in the ground, boxes: 8/10. Less about restraint, more containment, but still gets the point across. They cannot escape you, no matter how much they wish to.
I reiterate, leashes: 10/10. Hold their leash at all times, and you'll know when they try to run away.
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undiscovered-horizon · 4 months
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[Just a sunny afternoon with bear Halsin. What more can a heart desire?]
Halsin claims that sleeping in his bear form provides better rest. Whether that is true or not, you have no way to know. But no matter what the truth is, the druid comes out the winner anyway: he's lightly napping, drifting in and out of slumber, while you're leaning against him.
For the past week, it's been raining on and off. Cold wind nipped at your skin, even sneaking its way into your tent and making sure you shuddered uncomfortably for an hour or two before finally falling asleep. Nighttime storms left you carrying drenched clothes for long hours.
But today, the weather is exceptionally nice. Warm sunlight is peeking through the crowns of the tall trees. Wind, much gentler than for the past few days, is only strong enough to make long blades of grass sway from side to side. Even birds seem to enjoy the change - their melodic songs are carried by the forest's echo.
Halsin and you have decided to spend your day off from travelling in a small gathering. Although your companions-turned-friends are a delightful bunch, the rather crowded camp doesn't allow much liberty in terms of intimacy. Not to mention the sheer noise of so many people going about their day, cramped in one place...
The woods are as silent as nature can be - filled with rustling, birdsong, chirping and chirring. It's the whispering of nature, Silvanus himself enjoying the chatter of his creations. On days as pleasant as today, it wouldn't be too far-fetched to think that he's wandering among the trees, checking in on things, so to speak.
Your back is leaning against Halsin's massive bear frame. With each of his sleepy, shallow breaths, your entire body is moving along them. Every now and then, he lets out a snore and you can't help the loving smile curling your lips. When was the last time he was allowed so much peace?
Dry paper rustles as you turn over the page. Your voice resounds in this part of the woods as you continue reading aloud the book you found just a few days ago. It's a typical, run-of-the-mill court drama but written well enough to have you thinking about something other than the rather unwelcome guest squirming inside your skull.
But the tale of prudish ladies and cunning servants is suddenly brought to a halt as you yawn and stretch your arms. It's been at least an hour or two since Halsin and you have sat down.
The bear underneath you opens one of his eyes curiously. His careful gaze studies your visibly tired face.
"Lay with me, my heart," he says in a groggy voice. There is nothing pressuring about his tone but you feel so enticed to fulfil his words that you don't have the mind to argue against.
Soon you find yourself lying on the ground, cuddled into the side of a bear. Which, by itself, sounds quite funny. And you do chuckle quietly but not because you find the situation humours - no, it's the all-consuming cosiness that makes you uncharacteristically giddy. His fur is thick and soft, as though a moment of distraction could cause you to fall into him.
Halsin, consciously or not, shift his bear body to engulf you a little more. Although a frame of that size is awkward to manoeuvre, he tries to fit his body around your curled-up physique. If it wasn't for the absolutely crushing weight of his wildshape form, Halsin would probably lay himself on top of you to satiate his desire to take care of you.
For the first time in long weeks, snuggled up to a snoring bear, you feel content and safe.
___
I have thought about having a nap with bear Halsin like two weeks ago and that thought has not left ever since. Actually, I think it's already built a house in my head.
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ciy0 · 4 months
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☆*:.。. MY ANGEL .。.:*☆
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Summary- Mingyu’s heart always had and always will belong to one girl. No matter how much she pushed and kicked him away he would always come back crawling on his knees gladly, because to him she was his everything.
Word count- 9.8k 💀💀 [say sike rn]
Content Warnings- 18+ Sexual Scenes and Vulgar Language, Angst!, Romance, Some Humor, Hurt and comfort, POV changes, Y/n is a ice queen/tsundere, Implied Foreigner, Mental health, Idol au!She is also apart of Le Sserfim, Nayeon & Mingyu date, other idols appear, Cheating mentioned, Insecurities, Breakups and Makeups, Verbally Abusive Parent, Mingyu begs on his knees, Head over heels inlove with Y/n, Cutting mentioned, Soulmate type beat, Y/n has it rough pls be nice to her, Pet names [PLS BE SAFE AND INCHARGE OF THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME]
A/n BRUH i WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO BE SO DAMN Long. I just wanted to write one scene i swear but then i had to make it make sense so then it jus kept getting longer and longer then i got invested oml. Anyways i used to write fics for anime’s but i retired that hat a while back, i’ve been inlove with Mingyu since forever so i felt compelled to write a fic about him bc he’s my comfort space :3
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☆*:.。. .。.:*☆
To many people being able to win the affections from Kim Mingyu was seen as a blessing from God and it was - atleast for Nayeon- but as her rose tinted shades slowly began to dissolve around month 3 in their fresh relationship she begrudgingly noticed many things in which she had not before (curse her attentiveness).
Finally getting to proudly proclaim Mingyu as hers within their idol friend circle was a dream come true. And to her he was nothing less than perfect, always attentive to her wants, needs, and desires and constantly showering her with boundless amounts of affection. But even she couldn’t fool herself as the new relationship smell began to waft away, and despite her desperate attempts to be as wonderful to him and he was to her one thing became painfully clear; Mingyu was not inlove with her.
Well obviously he didn’t hate her, nor did he make her feel less then. She’s sure that he had some sort of love for her since they were friends before becoming lovers but it wasn’t the kind that would lead to the house and the kids and the big white picket fence she so often dreamt about. It wasn’t the kind that she held for him.
In the beginning it was hard to tell, being so blinded by finally being able to be by his side. She had finally gained the courage to confess when he walked her home after an outing with mutual friends, ever the gentleman. Maybe it was the shots of soju at the time or maybe it was time of year where everyone wanted a lover for the winter holidays. She remembered faintly hearing a corny christmas song in the distance, probably from inside a nearby store, and the snow gently pattering on her face as they walked in a comfortable silence.
“I love you,” she whispered meekly seemingly out of nowhere. Her cheeks heated despite the cold weather as she stopped walking, eyes glued to the snowy ground. She worried maybe he didn’t hear or thought she meant as a friend but she heard a long exhale of breath from her left as his footsteps also came to their own halt a few paces ahead of her own. It was quiet for a bit, the only sounds being a distant holiday tune and the wind accompanied by snow. She squeezed her eyes shut preparing for the embarrassing rejection she foolishly set her own self up for. Mingyu always treated her well but never treated her more than a friend or different than anyone else and she knew that so why did she have to go and say something so dumb, so stupid! Was it because he offered to walk her home? Well he’s always like that it’s nothing special, ugh what if she ruined-
“… Then,” Large feet suddenly appeared right in front of hers jolting her out of her spiral of thoughts and a large warm hand rested on her cheek, gently urging her head up until her eyes met with his.
“…Are you busy tomorrow?” He grinned wolfishly with a small tilt of his head.
A few weeks of courting and cute dates led to him casually introducing Nayeon as his girlfriend at a friend’s dinner party, hands held together. It was so sudden but she couldn’t help but cheese goofily as he sat her down on his lap before smoothly joining into the rooms conversation. He’d softly caress her thigh and give her chaste kisses periodically throughout the night. She was happy, very happy in fact, happy and inlove. She finally had what she thought she always wanted and wished she could’ve lived in that bliss for forever but alas life was never that simple nor accommodating.
The first thing she noticed was the zoning out. The times when he’d be aimless staring at some spot in the room completely lost in a daze. It honestly didn’t happen too too often, a soft tap of the shoulder would instantly bring him back to her but she noticed it regardless. But one time it happened during a night of passion that often plagued her thoughts more than she’d like.
Nayeon buried her head further into the pillows as Mingyu rolled his hips languidly into hers. She gasped softly as she angled her head to gaze upon the adonis behind her only to see that far away look in his eyes again.
“ Fuuuuck,” He groaned throwing his head back,” Angel - ah sh-shit!” He shook his head as she squeezed him tightly from the endearing new petname [presumably meant for her] kicking him out of his stupor. He took a second to catch his breath, blinking in quick succession before laying his body on top of hers leaving a wet smooch on her shoulder.
“ That’s new” She moaned seductively before he drew his hips back to resume his pace from before. All he gave was a breathy laugh and more kisses as he focused on pleasuring her until she couldn’t think anymore.
She quite liked that nickname honestly, and the way he said it too “Angel”. He never called her so desperately before and quite frankly it turned her on so much— too bad she never heard it again though. Well not aimed at her.
The second thing she noticed was his chest. Well moreso his heart beat or lack there of? Whenever she was with him her chest would always be a mess of butterflies, hands shaking, breath short and yet when they’d cuddle on the couch, head pressed to his toned chest there was… nothing? Well aside from a very normal beating pattern which gave signs of life of course, he was as cool as a cucumber.
The involuntary signs of love weren’t there for him like they were for her despite kissing the ground he walked on. He never struggled to stare her deeply in her eyes, his palms never sweaty when holding hands, kisses- albeit plentiful and wonderful -never starved and desperate. She knew he’d been with many girls before her and that he was use to female attention so maybe those intense signs of love weren’t appearing because he had a lot of experience, or atleast that’s what she told herself to cope until she could no longer.
Nayeon hung out back stage as Twice just finished their performance followed by Seventeen at the MAMA awards. She giggled softly as her members poked fun at her pink cheeks watching Mingyu onstage from the TV in the break room.
Soon after they finished Super the thirteen membered group filed in the break room, mingling amongst the various groups, getting snacks and cooling down. After grabbing a bottle of water Mingyu made his way over greeting Twice along the way before wrapping his arms around Nayeon and snuggling into her.
“Ewww you’re so sweaty” She teased pretending to be grossed out when it was the quite the opposite, the sweat glistening off his caramel skin doing sinful things to her.
“Hehe hi baby,” He scrunched his nose as he kissed her cheek playfully.
They bantered back and forth amongst the low chatter in the room watching as the next group went up to perform. She wasn't quite sure when his side of the conversation had quieted down but when she looked to her side he was staring intently at the live broadcasting. She too aimed her attention towards the TV to see what had him so preocuppied.
"Ohhh Le Sserafim?" She nodded knowingly, " They're your label mates now right? They are so popular these days, I'm a big fan too haha my bias is Chaewon!" She danced a little in her seat as the point choreo of Antifragile came up in the performance, " Which one's your fav?"
She leaned her head on his chest, cheerful humming coming to a quaking halt when she felt the thundering pulse of his heart beat blaring against her eardrum.
"... Y\n" he murmured mindlessly, eyes never once leaving the Tv.
" Ohh um yeah!" she sputtered quickly trying to regain her cool, "She's a really popular member, her stage presence is really solid too for only being active for about 2 years i think its been... she's very beautiful, uh she's cool with Jihyo and Somi they hang out sometimes..."
Nayeon wanted to slap herself for the needless word vomit but she couldnt help it. She was pulling for straws, not expecting the reaction she's been trying to pull out of Mingyu to happen now of all times and apparently not because of her. Perhaps he was just tired from his performance still, maybe his was just a big fanboy - men will be men even Mingyu it seemed, perhaps she was reading all too much into it. She decided not to say anything more and just stayed cuddled up to him. He smoothly brought his left hand to her arm rubbing it gently pressing her into himself chuckling softly at her frazzled manner.
" You did well today babe, go ahead and rest for a bit" He whispered as he pressed a kiss to her hairline, " I'll be right here."
Maybe she did need a nap she thought to her self but even as she yawned sleepily she couldn't help but notice the thundering in his heart rested only when their performance finished.
But what really nailed it in the coffin was what Nayeon saw later that night at Somi’s after party, and moreso heard. It’s one thing to come to the conclusion that the man she loved didn’t love back in the same caliber as she did but atleast he chose to be with her right? Atleast he only looked at her and only cared about her. Right?? She could work with that at least even if it was one sided but there’s another level of pain when the reason his palms don’t get sweaty, the reason his eyes don’t glaze over in adoration, the reason he’s never said “i love you” back is because he’s so hopelessly inlove with another that he could hardly contain himself.
The venue was crowded with so many different faces, some known and unknown coming from various groups and companies. Owe it to Somi to know everyone. Nayeon and Mingyu were together as always, a few drinks in watching as Hoshi spoke animatedly making the group of friends laugh. It was a start to a great night after the adrenaline rush of their earlier performances.
“Oh wait! Y/n” Somi suddenly shot up running over to you as you jus entered the venue before dragging you into their circle , “Everyone say hi, Y/n say hi too!”
Nayeon watched as you smiled softly at Somi’s antics before bowing and greeting the people around you. You had a naturally alluring vibe to you that made it hard to not look away. She wasn’t a hater, you were stunning. And as she followed the harsh intake of air next to her she realized she wasn’t the only one who felt the same.
Nayeon gave it to Mingyu for trying but she wasn’t a fool. She had spent so long looking at him like he was the only person in the world that she quickly surmised he was only zoned in on one thing that night, that thing being you. You were a bit harder to read but woman to woman she could tell that you skillfully avoided eye contact in their general direction. And from the lovesick face he pathetically failed to conceal and longing gaze; this went above petty attraction.
Suddenly feeling lightheaded Nayeon excused herself to the bathroom, her mind bombarded with questions. Is he cheating one me? How do you know each other? Who is she to him? Do they have history? Is she… the reason he never looks at me like that?
She felt her eyes burn as she gazed in the bathroom mirror. She felt pathetic. It takes being in love to know what it looks like and Mingyu was looking at you like how she looked at him. Like you were his world. He was trying to hide it, desperately so, often cutting his eyes away from you if he caught himself staring for too long or boisterously jumping into the conversation to distract himself from you, giving Nayeon’s hand a squeeze every now and then but she saw through it all. And she loathed you for it.
By time she calmed herself down and made it back to the table her heart fell to her stomach seeing as the two people plaguing her thoughts were both suspiciously missing. Of course no one picked up on the disappearance act of the two but a quick check in with Somi directed her to the direction Mingyu excused himself too. With a quick thank you she followed swiftly, anxiousness pooling in her gut
Following down the hall the sounds of the party quieted until she heard a pair of new voices a little further down out on the balcony. The voices she had been looking for.
“You did amazing today, Angel”
That burning sensation returned to Nayeon’s eyes as she discreetly listened from inside. Angel. That was undeniably Mingyu’s voice.
“ Mingyu, i told you to stop calling me that” you corrected with a sigh, “ and thank you.”
“Fuck- I know i’m sorry, It’s still a bad habit,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly , “ I-I miss you, you know… I know we didn’t end on good terms but-“
“Is this what you followed me out here to say? If so i’m going back to the party-”
Nayeon heard your heels swiftly clack shocking her thinking she would’ve been found out but then they suddenly stopped. She dared to peek over to properly view you both.
Mingyu grasped your wrist firmly, brows furrowing in frustration, “ Why are you being so cold to me? Do you get a kick out of hurting me like this huh? Is that it? I know you- look at me y/n” he tugged you softly yet firmly to face him again, eyes gazing into yours desperately look for anything, “ i know you wanted to ended things with us but do you really have to treat me like a stranger, did you really forget everything, do you really feel nothing for me anymore? I still-“
“Sunbaenim,” you looked up at him icily yanking your arm from his grasp ,” This is hardly appropriate, you have a girlfriend. It’s been months, let it go. It would’ve never worked between us anyways, Nayeon is good to you don’t be reckless over a little fling”
“Fling?! H-how could you- a fling doesn’t last for over year, a fling doesn’t make love like we did, a fling doesn’t meet your family, a fling doesn’t talk about moving in and getting married in the future dammit y/n i was inlove with you!, “ his voice trembled, fists shaking by his side, “You just iced me out of no where, ignoring my messages, stopped answering my calls, and then suddenly breaking up over text?! You keep playing down our relationship as if all of it never happened. You never even gave me a proper reason, I’m supposed to hate you for casting me aside like nothing by and yet why can’t I huh? Even while you’re glaring at me like that with those big beautiful eyes all i wanna do is make them roll back.”
Nayeon couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw his knees hit the floor, You pulled at his shoulders with a curt “enough of this” but he shook you off in favor of furrowing his head into your stomach .
“ Youre so cruel Y/n, how can you show a man heaven then yank it away from his grasp like this. You’re going to drive me insane. You know I can’t live without you, you’re the one who ruined me like this and you can’t even take responsibility for it…”
Nayeon wasn’t able to see your conflicted expression as Mingyu grasped at your waist sniffling onto the fabric of your dress but she didn’t need to.
She moved to the exit as she couldn’t bare to hear anymore but she wasnt quick enough to escape the last words Mingyu whispered.
“Fuck-I…I love you so much, Angel”
Heartbreak doesn’t even begin to describe Nayeons current emotional state. She dashed home without a word, cried in the shower and then curled up on her bed in a pile of misery. Mingyu didn’t stop by to sleep over like normal that night and it drove her mad. All she got was a goodnight text saying he was gonna stay with wonwoo. But is that really where he was? Maybe he was with y/n, moaning angel [she mocked in her head] and giving her all of himself forgetting he had a whole girlfriend. So when ever he got that distant look in his eye was he thinking of her? When he moaned angel, was that what he’d moan in her ear? Was he wishing to be inside her instead? When he was backstage did his heart beat out of his chest just by the sight of her? The reason Nayeon feels like shit is all because of her.
It took her a while before she decided to respond to Mingyu. She ignored his texts and inquiries for about a week before she sent him the “we need to talk” message. She didn’t know what to expect or where to start but she was hoping that their previous friendship would be enough for him to not completely run over her feelings anymore than the whole situation had.
He came over the the next evening after his gym session sporting a grey sweatshirt and pants combo. She couldn’t tell if this was on purpose but she had to stay strong to find the answers she so desperately needed. He gave her a quick kiss to the cheek that still made her heart jump after everything that she’s heard before promptly sitting on the couch.
Nayeon sat down awkwardly across from him not sure where to start. “um do you want anything to drink? i think i have-“ she started looking anywhere but at him.
“Nayeon,” he called gently making her look up hesitantly, “ Ask me anything, I won’t lie to you.”
He looked her earnestly in the eyes and it took Nayeon a second to come to the conclusion that he knows that she knows. Before she could question how he answered for her.
“ Somi told me you were looking for me that night,” He started slowly, “ You suddenly going home, not answering your phone, and then saying we need to talk… i pretty much guessed what was up… so ask me anything and i’ll tell you everything, you deserve to know”
She felt her eyes well up in tears at his honest reply not being able to stop herself from the question she wanted to know the most.
“Did you sleep with her while we were together?!”
“ No, I hadn’t talked to or seen her for months before we got together. I don’t know how much you saw the night of the party but I didn’t sleep with her then either.”
“…Did you want to?”
“N-Nayeon-“
“ Please just a-answer the question”
“…yeah”
She felt the frog in her throat at that but kept the questions searing her heart coming.
“ How did you two meet?”
“ I heard her singing in the practice rooms at Hybe before her debut, but i first saw her physically shortly after her debut at Mnet”
“ H-how did your relationship start?”
“ I think i was drawn when i first heard her voice from way back then, when we officially met I-I wanted to get close to her and the more time we spent together the more harder it got to stay away”
“ We’ve been friends this whole time, how come i’ve never met her?”
“ She didn’t want anyone to know we were dating. So we never interacted in public only wonwoo really knew. Since we live together”
Nayeon tried to think back to around the time they were supposedly dating. She’d sometimes catch hints of hickies on his neck or him smiling at his phone but she just thought he was just fooling around and not committed to anyone. She remembered feeling severely envious though, because that was the happiest she had ever seen him. And if everything he says is true it matches the depressive episode he was in months before they got together, if that’s when she cut him off from what he said that night.
She wiped her tears feeling a bit more whole to look him in the eyes again, “ But why her? Don’t get me wrong she’s pretty and all but you’re not the type of guy who only cares about that. The way she talked to you at the party—she seems like a fucking bitch”
He actually laughed out loud at that, a soft look taking over his face, “Yeah i know, she’s hardheaded, mean, and rude but that’s just one aspect to her. She’s also creative, headstrong, caring, and sensitive… Nayeon I’m sorry,” he switched suddenly, “ I might’ve not physically cheated on you but i still disrespected this relationship and our friendship. I enjoyed our time together and i really wanted it to be you, I wanted to forget about Y/n and live a nice easy love with you b-but seeing her at the party reminded jus how far gone i am. One look and i’m back where I started” He lowered his head in his hands, “You don’t have to forgive me but please know nothing is wrong with you, you are amazing I just- I’m-“
“In love with Y/n right?,” Nayeon finished tears flowing freely at some point. She wish she could yell and scream and call him names but even now she felt his apology from the bottom of his heart. It was never her, it was never gonna truly be her.
She felt the couch next to her dip and the warmth of his embrace. She couldn’t help but fall into it, her cries tumbling into hiccups, mourning of her love lost. “S-So are we done? You’re breaking up with m-me? Are you going to her now?”
He patted her back softly, “ I don’t want to hurt you anymore, knowing i can’t give you what you want and deserve… and even though i love Y/n as i’m sure you heard she’s adamant on pushing me away. We haven’t even talked since that night… plus i’m pretty sure y/n still has my number blocked lol”
“I d-didn’t know you liked emotional unavailable girls Mingyu,” she tried to joke between her gasps, “i would’ve changed my tactics” she wailed into his sweatshirt.
She felt his chest rumble in suppressed laughter before whispered apologies into her hair. It hurt so bad but she could never hate Mingyu. You on the other hand is a different story but she knew albeit not anytime soon she’d eventually have to come to terms with this and hopefully one day her and Mingyu could get back to how they were before, as friends.
☆*:.。. .。.:*☆
Mingyu left Nayeon apartment guiltily feeling lighter despite breaking his friends heart. In times like these he cursed you so much for causing all this chaos in his life and at the same time he imagines you in his embrace, whispering sweet everythings into your ear.
He threw his keys in his dish tray once reaching his apartment before grabbing a beer and joining wonwoo in the living room.
“…Well you don’t have any scratches on your face,” Wonwoo analyzed, “ So i’m guessing things went well i hope?”
Mingyu scoffed sarcastically while cracking open his can, “Hyung what the hell am i doing, something must be wrong with my head…” he pouts before taking a big gulp.
“Yeah they say love is one hell of a drug,” Wonwoo offers, “But honestly are you really okay with ending things with Nayeon, it’s safe and certain unlike Y/n”
Mingyu takes a deep breath before answering, “ As long as Y/n exists I don’t think i can truly be happy with another. I don’t know what she slipped into my food when i wasn’t looking but nothing compares. Nayeon is everything right on paper but why…. i jus can’t- It’s ugh,” he gives up and ops for his drink again.
Wonwoo ponders for a moment, “ You are a bit of a masochist,”
“Ya.”
“ So when are you gonna talk to Y/n? Makes no sense breaking up with Nayeon because of her if not to work things out right?”
“ But hyung, that’s what i tried to do at the party, literally begged on my knees and she still left me there,” he laid back in the couch as if he were in a therapy session, “ I jus don’t get it, we were doing so well. As long as we were together everything was gonna be alright, the power could be out and she’d find flashlights and build a pillow fort. She’d find the coolest art pieces and trinkets and gift them to me, she’d always be my second hand in the kitchen even if it’s jus stirring and taste testing. Everyday felt like a dream, there was never a dull time. We could literally have the time of our lives trapped in a cardboard box. We’d spend nights just drinking wine and talking about our hopes and aspirations and everything under the sun, i’d do anything to make her dreams come true and she had the nerve to say it was a fucking fling??”
Upon reminiscing he couldn’t help the tightness in his chest and on top of that the resurfacing of anger because how can all of that happen and you act as if it didn’t. No matter what you tried to paint it out as he knew it was real for both of you.
Wonwoo patted his shoulder reassuringly feeling him getting worked up again. “ Didnt everything change after she came back from visiting her family after the Le Sserafim mini tour? I remember didn’t all her members go visit her family too?”
“Yeah why?” Mingyu questioned not understanding what he was getting at.
“Try asking them, maybe they know something you don’t. I’m not judging but I always thought it was weird how she never talks about her family. Whenever you’d ask to meet them she’d change the subject. Maybe it’s got something to do with that,” Wonwoo was really wracking his brain overtime trying to find some sort of lead. He’d seen Mingyu and Y/n before all this mess and he was convinced they were soulmates then so maybe they just needed some guidance now.
Mingyu drunk in silence as he thought over Wonwoo’s words more. He remembered how scared you were when you first met his family despite his adamant affirmations that they already loved you. You were so jittery and out of your element telling him later that night you’ve never seen a family so loving. He considered his family pretty average though. He remembered the fear in your eyes when he asked to meet your family only for you to pull him in for a hot kiss purposefully rendering his brain off course. He didn’t think much of it at the time but now he’s starting to see Wonwoo’s train of thought
“I’ll try contacting Yunjin”
After asking around in a couple of friend groups he finally was linked to Yunjin’s Kakao. Despite being head over heels in love with a member in her group she had little inkling about the severity of his and Y/n’s relationship until the end that is. Normally Y/n would sneak out to his place which was why Wonwoo knew her pretty well, but her members only found out when Mingyu barged into their dorms demanding to talk to Y/n after her casual “let’s break up” text those many months ago. He had no idea how the explaining went after that but Yunjin didn’t seem too surprised at his, “Hey yunjin, this is Mingyu… do you think we could meet up and talk soon. I’m sure i don’t have to tell you to keep this between us.”
A couple hours later he received his reply.
“Sunbaenim! Ofc we should be back in Korea in a week. Cafe by hybe sound good?”
A week came sooner than one would think, his mind giddy because maybe he could finally get some progress in understanding why you left him. He waited patiently at the back of the cafe with a baseball cap tapping away at his phone. He opted to swipe through his secret gallery of pics he saved of you even after the break up, thumb running softly along the pixels of your cheek.
“Sunbaenim!”
Mingyu jumped at the sudden appearance of fiery hair as Yunjin sat down. He greeted her before calling the barista over to get her drink settled along with his.
“ How were the concerts in Paris?” He made small talk.
“ It was our first time going, it’s so beautiful there and God the food was amazing,” she spoke animatedly before squinting her eyes knowingly,” but i know that’s not what you messaged me for.”
He held his hand ups in defeat with a sheepish smile, “How is she?”
“ Honestly… Y/n-ah is normally the one who brings us all together and the glue to our group but she’s been so quiet lately which is so unlike her, “ Yunjin eyes glossed a bit, “I worry about her a lot because only few know how much she cares and how much she hurts. She never lets us in and that’s why i was so shocked that she was seeing someone but i was glad because she was so happy. Her smile really reached her eyes you know, even though at the time i didn’t know who it was and i only found out cause she left her phone in the living room and i saw the name “Nose Picker🩵” and you messaging you loved her and for her to get some rest.” She giggled softly at the memory.
Mingyu’s heart squeezed at the stupid nickname he asked her to change a million times. “ D-did she tell you anything after i stormed into your dorms, sorry about that by the way,”
Yunjin looked hesitant not sure how to phrase what wasn’t in her place to say. “Um- after you left she just got so quiet b-but that night i heard her crying and so i went over to her and held her. But she jus kept saying so many negative things about herself and repeating the things her mom-“ Yunjin clasped her mouth feeling wrong for exposing your problems like this without your consent. You explicitly told her to never talk about that night but Mingyu staring at her with desperation in his eyes was breaking her resolve.
“Yunjin what is it?! Please tell me, more than anyone i want her happiness Yunjin please,” he grasped her hands tears threatening to drop,” Please”
Orbs shaking Yunjin sighed in defeat before continuing in a meek voice ,” The other members didn’t really understand because her family speaks english but I understood…. I understood e-everything…”
Yunjin followed as you led the girls into your childhood home. That morning you were on edge but since the last touring city ended up in your home town everyone insisted on meeting your family and sleeping over that night. Yunjin was excited to see a part of you you don’t normally share in hopes of getting closer to you and bragging about you to your family.
Your family were relatively normal looking and kind enough to them as everyone gathered around the dinner table. The spread of food was vast for such short notice, not having to worry about diets since you all were on break after this was a nice bonus as well. Everyone fell into a lull of conversation but something felt strange to Yunjin. You were so quiet, just poking at your food aimlessly. To liven up your spirits she was about to compliment your parents home until your mother finally directed her attention towards you.
“What why aren’t you eating, i cooked all this food for you and your little friends the least you can do is eat it.” Your mom stated quite abrasively.
With out lifting your head or taking a moment to breathe your responded, “ I’m not hungry”
Your mom laughed condescendingly at that, “You? Not hungry, ahh come on you use to be so big when you were younger you’d eat up everything. You afraid to blow up like that again? Actually maybe you shouldn’t eat, you don’t want to look like that again right. Oh my i remember I used to be so embarrassed taking you anywhere with me. All your cousins were so small and here you were taking up so much space. It’s good you finally stopped eating so much, you’re so pretty now too! You really take after me now ya know-“
Yunjin watched in complete horror as your mother rambled on stabbing knife after knife into your esteem with no care in the world as you just sat there taking the public embarrassment. You always stood up for the girls against the strict dietary guidelines and always reassured them how beautiful they were and yet here you were, eyes listless as you absorbed everything your mother spewed like a sponge.
“-You know i was so worried about you, especially when you use to cut yourself in highschool. I mean who does that do you know how bad that made me look and you missed so many days of school doing Lord knows what. You almost got me in trouble it was so humiliating when your teacher had to visit our home, you know everyone in the neighborhood saw that. And then you randomly wanted to go to korea to become a performer, Haha that one gave me a good laugh for the longest time but hey who knew there was actually something you were good at, i’ve been spending your monthly checks at the new med spa that opened down town-“
Yunjin felt her own tears welling up in her eyes, she wish you’d say something, she wish she could say something but she was in such shock. She grew up in a loving family, albeit they had their problems but she’s never witnessed a catastrophe of a dinner like this. She glanced back at you and reached for your hand under the table but you didn’t react at all. Until the next batch of words your mother had for you.
“ And why didn’t you tell me you were dating! I was worried you’d end up alone you know, you never brought a boy home, i mean i know you were a bit chubby but atleast one boy had to have liked you,”
“…How did you know i’m dating someone?,” You finally spoke breath caught in your throat.
“It was about a week or so ago, i ran out of the money you usually send so i was calling for more which after all i’ve done for you raising and keeping a roof over your head i don’t know why you have me on such a small stipend but anyways a man picked up. His english was a little choppy but he introduced himself as your boyfriend ha! can you believe that. I was curious how he looked so i googled his name and I have to hand it to you, i don’t know what he sees in you but make sure you keep that one, he’s one hell of a catch. I bet you havent told him about your little stunt in highschool or how huge you used to be, makes sure he never finds out or else he’s not gonna want you anymore, okay honey, men like that like their women with no baggage and i want grand babies before i die, all the nurses at the hospital are always bragging and showing pictures and i have nothing to show” your mother finally finished
You were shaking. Yunjin was holding your hand so tightly. Chaewon picked up on the unpleasant vibe but knew better than to say anything. Dinner concluded, you all thanked your parents for dinner and cleaned the table before all the members packed up in your childhood bedroom for the night. When she was sure everyone was asleep Yunjin turned to you.
“Y/n-ah I’m so s-sorry,” she weeped into your side. But you didn’t say anything, you jus hummed before turning over and going to sleep.
The next morning you all packed up to head for the airport. Yunjin overheard your mom asking for more money before giving you a hug after you wired it. She told you she loved you but you didn’t reply.
“A few weeks a-after that, “Yunjin hiccuped,” is when you barged in the dorm. A-and that night Y/n-ah finally cried and she-“ Yunjin was full on bawling , “ She was saying s-so many bad things about herself a-and i didn’t know what to s-say. I’ve never seen h-her like that.
She buried her face in her hands recollecting that night. And Mingyu… he was furious. Furious for entertaining that witch on the phone, furious for not seeing sooner how far your insecurities went, his face red in anger but also guilt for being so blind. So much made sense about you. You would never fully finish your meals, you always wore such baggy and covering clothes when not on stage, you hated when he took pictures of you and you hated smiling critiquing how your cheeks spread, you always were one to listen to others venting but never partook in your own, you always talked about dreams of the future cryptically as if you’d never be around to reach them, when he tried to be affectionate with you in public you’d always slink away from him and last and not least you pushed him away in fear of revealing the bits you so desperately wanted to hide; afraid it’d affect his perception of you.
But you were so so wrong. He needed you to understand, he saw you, his angel. Maybe it wasn’t as clear in the past but he saw you now and it changed nothing. He loved you with all his being and God he really fucking needed to see you-
“-Where is she?” He demanded determinedly already packing his cup and phone getting ready to go.
“I-I don’t know,” Yunjin answered honestly,” When we aren’t on schedule she leaves her phone at the dorm and just l-leaves-“
“ What! Do you know how dangerous that is, why hasn’t anyone stopped her!” He could feel himself falling apart, he needed to see you very badly, he needed to make sure you were okay with his own eyes, and if you weren’t he needed to make you okay somehow.
“ She always leaves at the most random times, she normally gets back in the e-evening?” Yunjin wiped her red eyes for the umpteenth time.
He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to run around Seoul like a chicken with its head cut off but he had no clue where to look. He felt like he was going to hyperventilate at this rate, he felt like such an idiot, he should’ve fought harder if only he had known how deep the hurt went. He couldn’t help but curse out loud.
“W-Wait Sunbae,” Yunjin spoke up with a revelation, “I’m checking our group chat, I-I think she might’ve taken her Apple Watch, look”
Yunjin turned her phone around showing your supposed location. He looked at the map on her phone, the glowing dot was resting in a building in Myeongdong. He quickly took a screenshot of your location, thanking Yunjin before sprinting to the company car he brought with him that afternoon. He was pretty sure he spilled some of his drink and stepped on some toes on the way to the vehicle but he couldn’t be bothered to even look back.
☆*:.。. .。.:*☆
To say you were surprised to receive an invitation from Nayeon of all people would be a complete understatement. You never gave her your number so it was probably received from Somi. But here you sat at a fancy restaurant awkwardly staring at each other in silence. You normally just wandered around till it got dark when there wasnt any schedules but you decided to bring your watch just in case your body goes missing. You are aware her and Mingyu broke up and you are pretty sure this invitation out wasn’t to begin a beautiful friendship with the way she was glaring at you.
“ So-“
“ I-“
You both tried talking at the same time. Cringing inwardly you bowed your head for her to take the lead.
“ You know i don’t like you right.”
Oof straight for the throat but you didn’t have much to say to that, cause you didn’t like you either.
“Yeah i figured as much,” you sipped your water, “ so why the invitation?”
“ I wanted to see for myself what’s got Mingyu so wound up,” She tilted her head scrutinizing you, “ So far i’m unimpressed.”
“ Listen if you just invited me here to take jabs at me-“
“ You’re pathetic.”
Okay that one made you roll your eyes. You gathered your purse ready to get up and leave until she continued.
“ You have an amazing man so completely enamored with your very being and yet you are stomping all over his heart. At first i thought you were just a bitch-“
You put your purse back down, uncomfortably shifting as she stared you right in your eyes.
“ I’ve been watching you ya know, you walk around like a pile of self loathing on a stick, it’s so hard to watch. I don’t know your story but I can assure you right now nothing will change how that man thinks of you. And as his friend you hurting him is a me issue now. That fool is so hard headed i’m pretty sure if i told him you murdered puppies he’d still love you” she scoffed, rolling her eyes as the waiter finally came with your appetizers.
You weren’t good at conversations like this. Well was this even a conversation moreso you were being aggressively spoken at. “Stalking is a crime you know,” you mumbled stabbing a fork into your salad.
“Is that really all you have to say? Don’t play with me, we are not friends. Do you even love Kim Mingyu?” she frankly asked with a chicken wing pointed straight at you.
“Loving him has nothing to do with-“
“ I didn’t want to have to do this but you are being so difficult,” with her clean hand she opened her phone pulling up a compromising picture of Mingyu asleep in bed with Nayeon snuggled to his side. It was clear what they finished doing before it was captured “Answer my question or i’ll keep swiping”
Your nose flared at the photo, jealousy swirled in your stomach even though you had no right. You pushed him away so you had no right to be envious but nevertheless you were. You remembered how that use to be you, losing track of what time you had to sneak back to the dorms because he was so warm and safe and so- Mingyu. Your eyes darkened as she swiped to the next photo, him sucking a hickey onto her inner thigh, looking up at her with those beautiful brown eyes. Your self esteem might’ve been in the gutter but you knew how to be shameless too.
“ Delete all of those pictures right now and I’ll answer,” you challenged staring her right back down.
She picked at some stuck chicken in her teeth with her pinky acrylic, “ Wah you’re so easy, fine fine i’m deleting them. Wasn’t that many anyways- he didn’t like me taking pics,” she mumbled the last part as she clacked away on her phone.
Once you were positive they were all gone your expression finally softened, lips parting, “I love him so much that i’m scared. I’m scared because i can take when others hurt and abandon me… but if Mingyu does… if he ever gets tired of me or casts me aside i really won’t be able to survive it. That’s the one thing i won’t be able to bounce back from. When i’m with him my heart is no longer my own and that terrifies me. Trust isn’t something that comes easy but i have no control over myself because of him. I’m used to everything blowing up in my face, always being the butt of the joke, nothing ever working out in my favor so why should i believe for once that the good that is Mingyu isn’t going to turn on me one day as well?”
“ Because it’s fucking Mingyu,” she stated matter of factly , “ Gods apology to man if you will.”
You huffed at that, finding it hard to disagree with that childish logic. After that you both jus ate in silence, probably both thinking of Mingyu to some compacity. By time the entré came out Nayeon was ready to talk again.
“ I knew he never loved me,” she sighed,” but even then he tried his hardest to. Gosh i wanna jus cry, the sex was so bomb too — i hate you so much” she pouted as she cut into her steak rather aggressively.
This time you actually laughed. A real one that touched you eyes. You held your stomach finding it hard to stop, lost in your mirth. In that moment Nayeon felt like she caught a glimpse of the Y/n he described a week ago.
You both payed for your separate meals, Nayeon left with a “I would offer you a ride but i still don’t like you” so you made your way down the street, no destination in mind, shaking your head softly at the fiasco that dinner was. You didn’t make it far before a pair of large arms wrapped around you from behind. You should’ve screamed for help if it was anyone else but you knew this embrace.
“Angel,” he whispered against your neck out of breath
“Mingyu what are you doing,”. You tugged on his arms to avail, “I was about to call the police on you, you can’t just grab people like that in- hey are you listening to me”
No he wasn’t in fact. To busy burrowing his head further in the crevice of your neck, humming softly as he pulled you flush against him. You tried to atleast to turn around in his hold but was met with a stubborn whine.
“ Mingyu, people are looking.. s-stop before someone recognizes us,” You try to shrink away from the onlookers.
He intakes your scent with a deep breathe before finding the willpower to release his limbs before dragging you to what seemed to be a parking lot. You don’t fuss much at that point letting him tug you along until you were seated and buckled safety in to his passenger seat of his car. You kept your eyes forward as he ran to his side and slid in himself. Before he moved to pull off you felt him staring shamelessly at the side of your face. Your own face starting to warm at the intensity of his gaze.
“ What is up with everyone today,” you rolled your eyes before turning in your seat to face him square on, “Care to explain to me how you knew exactly where I was? Are you stalking me too??”
His eyes were still darting around every inch of you with that silly expression on his face, “You look so nice today, did you go out to eat? Are you still hungry? What do you mean too, is someone bothering you? Also I know this nice spot by-“
You move to unbuckle your seatbelt but his hands beat you there, grabbing both your wrists in one hand. “Mingyu let me-“
“Gyu.”
“What?!” you huffed failing miserable against his hold , “ This is not the time to act cute, I’ll scream I swear I-“
This time he yanked you forward by your wrists and slot his lips against yours in a searing kiss. Instantly your body like muscle memory became liquid in his grasp no longer caring to escape him. With his free hand he held your chin between his thumb and pointer finger angling you side ways so he could eagerly push his tongue past your soft lips. He didn’t mean for things to happen in that order honestly. He wanted to make sure you were safe and okay but seeing you always scrambled his thoughts and now he’s sucking on your tongue in the parking lot getting high off your breathy moans. Lost in the nasty wet tongue kiss he subconsciously loosened the grip he had on your wrists in favor holding both sides of your face as he swirled his tongue around yours.
You cursed yourself in your head for clutching onto his tshirt pathetically as you let him defile your mouth. At the rate he was going you were gonna pass out from the lack of air and intimacy of it all. You dragged your fingertips up to the juncture of his jaw line and neck before giving a firm enough pinch. Understanding you immediately he pulled back just to give you a couple more passionate smooches, eyes low as you both watched the string of saliva slowly give way between you. It’s landed on your chin which he brazenly licked off before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. Finally done with the impromptu makeout you both gazed at each other out of breathe, periodically looking back down at each others lips.
He caressed your cheeks with his thumb softly, something he’d been dreaming of doing again for months , “Hi” Those charming canines of his flashing at you.
You didn’t have it in you to play aloof with him in that moment, not after you jus swallowed an embarrassing amount of his spit. “Gyu how’d you find me?”
“Yunjin,” He answered quick leaning back in ready for round two, tongue already sticking out but you pushed him back by his forehead.
“ …Gyu you’ve been wanting to talk to me about the breakup since it happened right?,” you closed your eyes in defeat, some of Nayeons words urging to on, “I’m giving you the chance now, so are we gonna talk and i can’t guarantee if there will be later. I know you didn’t come all the way here just to make out. ”
“Shit fuck that’s-“ he rubbed the back of his neck in shame, “I’m sorry I just got so carried away, yes we need to talk please. Can i take you back to my place?”
You sighed but nodded turning your head to focus on the road. He quickly started up the car not wanting to ruin this chance but not before pressing a chaste kiss to the side of your forehead, hopefully you’d let that one slide just for him. You made no comment on it as he sped back to his place in silence.
Always the gentleman he kept your door on child lock so you wouldn’t get out without him opening the door for you once you reached. You couldn’t help the small smile at his childish mannerisms. Such a big baby. You allowed him to hold your hand as you both made your way to his place. Once inside you were hit with the nostalgia of his apartment, his heady scent was everywhere already making your heart race.
He locked the door behind you before getting you something to drink, “Wonwoo is out on a brand trip,” He offered once he’d heard you sit down on their couch.
You hmed at the information too busy looking all around the apartment you use to frequent. It brought back a lot of memories of the past from the chaotic cooking dates, snuggling on the living room floor staring up at the cheap star projector, to fucking like teenagers in your epic pillow fort till all the sheets collapsed around you both.
The sound of your cup of apple juice being placed down on the table took you out of your reverie as Mingyu sat down next to you. Ever the offender of having no sense of personal space, he situated him self directly against you despite the plentiful seats in the living area. You felt like you should’ve told him to move but you found yourself being honest for once; you didn’t want him to.
“So um,” he decided to break the tension, “C-can i hold your hand again while we talk?”
You relinquished your hand to him, both of you angling you bodies inwards to each other before you looked up at him waiting for him to ask his questions.
His heart compressed painfully at the sight of your big eyes but he forced himself to stay focused.
“ As i’m sure you know me and Nayeon broke up.” He waited for your acknowledgment before continuing, ” I won’t lie and say our meeting at the Somi’s party wasn’t the catalyst for alot of things but it made it clear especially despite trying to move on I physically can’t. I can’t move on from you and I don’t want to move on from you.” His thumb brushed your over knuckles, “When you broke up with me like that I wanted to be done with you, you hurt me Y/n… so so bad.”
Your eyes reflected the same glistened look as his as the guilt of carelessly casting Mingyu aside finally was catching up to you after all those months of dodging feelings. You bit your lip waiting for him to proceed.
“I just wanted to mean something to you, and when i finally was getting back to myself one look from you and back to begging on my knees like i was months ago.”
“G-gyu” you sniffled and went to cup his face in your palms. He probably didn’t even realize the single tear you were currently thumbing away at. “I- no amount of apologies will ever equate to how i treated you. But regardless I’m sorry for taking out my insecurities out on you. God knows you’ve been nothing but amazing and i still desperately tried to sabotage that all. I still think you deserve a better girl, don’t settle for me Gyu you deserve the world.”
He held onto your hands to keep your touch on him. “ I don’t care what you think i deserve, I want you. Even after everything I forgive you whether you want to be forgiven or not a-and Yunjin told me about seeing your parents-“
You sharply sucked in a breath before trying to yank your hands back to your lap but he held them firmly bringing them to his chest, “Don’t do that Y/n, don’t try to close up on me like that please. Not again, Don’t- shit angel don’t cry”
His heart broke at your vulnerable expression, lip quivering as you tried to lean away from but he wasn’t having it. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled your securely into his chest, caressing your spine while cooing into your crown.
You hiccuped uncontrollably into his chest, “ Sh-she promised she wouldn’t saying anything, she promised!”
“Please don’t blame Yunjin, I didn’t really give her choice, I just needed to know why you came back to me so closed off. Im sorry for picking up your mother’s call back then, I had no right to but Y/n don’t feel ashamed please. You are so strong, so beautiful, so worthy of everything despite what she says. My mom loves you ya know, you can share her if you’d like,” he peppered kisses across your face, “you’ll just have to marry me of course…”
You choked on a laugh between the ugly cries that wracked through you. Maybe it was the tears but your mind felt a bit lighter, “Gyu… I-I love you but i’m terrified. “ You admitted “after years of constantly being ridiculed and belittled as if im nothing i can’t help but believe it. I’m so embarrassed about having a mother like her and i’m ashamed with myself. But wh-whenever im with you i feel alive but she always finds a way to say the exact words to knock me all the way back down. For my own mother to think so lowly of me how am i s-supposed to stand proudly by your side. You are so blinding, so kind, so talented, so honest, so good; everything i’m not.”
“But to me you’re all those things and more. I’m only my best self when i’m with you, because of you. You really have no idea the power you hold not just on me but the people around you. Your mother doesn’t deserve you and she doesn’t define you. How someone can treat such a wonderful daughter like you like that still blows my mind. You deserve to be valued and praised just for existing simply because you are you. ”
By this point your foreheads were pressed together, your hiccups finally simmering down. He kissed your nose softly before wiping away your tears. “I know years of hurt can’t be done away in one night but can you promise me something Angel”
You sniffled cutely before looking up at him again , “Mmhm”
“Let me see the ugly, it’s okay if you cry, scream, yell but do it to me. Let me share your burdens, you don’t have to do it all alone. Please rely on me, it’s what i’m here for”
You wrapped your arms around him sighing into his chest. You felt so drained and lightheaded so tired but still you couldn’t deny the immense relief you felt off your heavy heart, “… You love me?” you whispered timidly.
“More than you’ll ever know,” He kissed your brow sweetly.
“Okay then… I’ll be in your care from now on” you unhurriedly pressed a kiss to his jaw before yawning,” I know there’s still so much more we have to talk about but can we talk more in the morning?”
He smiled fondly as you rubbed your eyes sleepily, nose still stuffy from your tears. He leaned down to press a proper kiss on your plush lips, “Of course my Angel,” You both gazed longing at each other a bit longer neither making the move to get up. He took the bait again and gave you a languid open mouthed kiss before whispering dreamily against your lips, “I love you.”
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a-dinosaur-a-day · 10 months
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Meig's Comprehensive Guide to Reptiles, aka: the vast majority of land vertebrates
Welcome! This is another long post by me, one of tumblr's most annoying resident paleontologists. But I promise: it'll be fun, it'll be engaging, and you'll be glad you read it.
What the Everloving Fuck is a Reptile?
Well, back in the day, you probably learned reptiles were land animals, with backbones, that were covered in scales, were cold-blooded, and laid eggs with hard shells.
But, you see, we classified organisms based on traits back when we didn't know about evolution. Or prehistoric life. And turns out, there are a lot of things in the past that do not fit in the categories we made based on living things today. A lot of things.
Soooooooo... now we classify based on evolutionary relationships! Aka, family trees.
So what is a reptile?
A reptile is any animal more closely related to living crocodilians (Crocs, Gators, etc.) than to rodents.
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Aka, back around ~330 million years ago, animals that laid land-adapted eggs split into two groups: Proto-Mammals (that would eventually become mammals), and Reptiles.
So, a reptile is, anything closer to the group of "classical reptiles" than to mammals. Simple enough. And it is the entirety of an evolutionary unit - a single clade, consisting of a common ancestor and *all* of that ancestor's descendants.
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Turns out, this includes birds, but I'll get to that.
The First Reptile Group to Branch Off: Parareptiles
So now we go through our groups of reptiles based on their evolutionary/familial relationships, and the first group to branch off from other reptiles were the Parareptiles.
(Note: Their evolutionary history is in flux and it's possible they're actually further down on the reptile tree, or not even a natural group. for now, we're going to go with them as the earliest branching group and assume they're a single thing, even though that is probably going to be very wrong in the next few years).
These were weird mfers, living from around 310 million years ago until 200 million years ago. They had robust bodies that were low to the ground, with legs *usually* sprawled out on either side. They also had very robust and broad skulls. Many of them look superficially like lizards, in that they're quadrupedal animals with limbs splayed out to the sides, but they were *nothing* like lizards. While early members of the group had long tails, over time, the bodies of parareptiles became more stout with shorter tails. They also had swollen, thick vertebrae, and stout upper limb bones. They were CHONKY.
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The earliest members to branch off were the Mesosaurs, a small group of aquatic reptiles! They were long and slender, and quite small compared to later aquatic reptile groups. The next group to branch off were Millerettids, which were small insectivores with superficially lizard-like apperances. Most Parareptiles were Procolophonomorphs, and included everything from the bipedal Eudibamus to the huge Pareiasaurs that were major megafaunal herbivores during most of the Permian period.
All Parareptiles, as far as we can tell, are extinct today. Unless their evolutionary relationships change. Yay science!
All the rest of reptiles are in Eureptilia, which have smaller bones in the lower back of the skull that no longer connect to the roof of the skull. So, skulls like living reptiles!
Captorhinids
The next group to branch off are the Captorhinids, a group of interesting little reptiles with shorter tails, sprawling limbs, and weirdly boxy heads. Living from 300 to 252 million years ago, they started out as small carnivores, and eventually evolved to be large herbivores!
Protorothyridids
Next to branch off are the Protorothyridids, which lived only in the latest Carboniferous. They were small, superficially lizard-like animals, but their limbs were a lot more slender and long than lizards, as were their bodies and heads. In fact, they seemed to have been adapted for climbing trees, making them among the earliest known animals to do so!
All remaining reptiles are Diapsids, characterized by having two holes (postorbital fenestrae) behind the eye socket. This is where all living reptiles are.
Araeoscelidans
Our first group of Diapsids are the Araeoscelidans, which - again - were SUPERFICIALLY lizard like. I cannot stress enough that nothing so far has been an actual lizard. In fact, they had more slender limbs, longer tails, and less specialized heads than lizards. That said, they probably lived similarly to them, though some members may have been adapted for climbing, and others for swimming.
Unfortunately, we're now at the part of the tree where evolutionary relationships are a mess. Parareptiles may actually go here, or only some of them. Lots of different groups diverged here very quickly. It's a messssss. I will go through each group, but just know all we know is that these groups fall outside the next big chunk - Sauria - but within Diapsids.
Younginidae
Younginids are reptiles from right around the End-Permian extinction, basically only living in the latest Permian and earliest Triassic. They were as big as living monitors, and they had less kinetic (mobile) skulls than living reptiles. They would have been superficially lizard-like - again - but very different, and they had ridiculously long tails and toes, making them powerful movers.
Tangasaurids
Tangasaurids were a weird group of end-Permian to earliest Triassic animals, with some adapted for aquatic life in freshwater and lake environments, and other living life on land like other reptiles. As such, Tangasaurids represent another experiment in secondarily-aquatic life among reptiles. The land dwellers had long toes for efficient land movement, while the aquatic ones had those amazing water adapted traits that we associate more with living species. In fact, some of their tails were flattened, like sea snakes today!
Longisquama
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For the sake of my sanity, I'm trying to group things up in as few groups as possible without ignoring anything. But this is a weirdo, and it doesn't have any family members, so I have to talk about it alone. You know that reptile you may have seen in books with the hockey-stick like things coming off of its back? That's Longisquama. The problem is, we don't know much about it. It had a small, slender head, and a typical reptile body, with limbs splayed out to the sides. Those fins on the back were *not* like feathers, but something else entirely - maybe just elongated scales. Or maybe it died on top of a plant (unlikely). Many bad scientists point to this animal and say its the ancestor of birds, but that's been thoroughly debunked at this point. It lived in the Middle Triassic, around 235 million years go.
Thalattosaurs
Thalattosaurs were Triassic reptiles - so living between 252 and 200 million y ears ago - that were semiaquatic! They had long, narrow skulls adapted for grabbing fish, and slender bodies for moving through the water. Their tails were long and paddle-like. Some of them had long necks, while others had shorter necks. Some even had a hook-like end of the snout for trapping slippery fish prey! They ate many different things, with a few species adapted for crunchy marine food, others for slippery, and so on.
Ichthyosauromorphs
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Some of the most famous extinct reptiles go in this group - the group of reptiles that essentially evolved to be dolphins before dolphins were even a thing - a classic case of convergent evolution. These marine reptiles were extremely successful, living from the beginning of the Triassic - 252 million years ago, possibly even older - until the middle of the Cretaceous, 90 million years ago. We have early forms that show only partial adaptations to marine life, but they very quickly became fully aquatic, even giving birth to live young under water. Some of the largest marine animals ever fall into this group, including Shonisaurus and Shastasaurus. The earliest members showcase the evolution from typical reptile-shape to the weird reptile-dolphins they would become. Proper Ichthyosaurs had big eyes, round bodies, long narrow heads, and four flippers - one for each limb. Their tails were also long and ended in a fin like living sharks and whales. Some even had a dorsal fin! This group is *huge*, so I recommend digging into their wikipedia pages to learn more! Note that these are their own, huge, distinct group of reptiles - completely separate from lizards *or* dinosaurs!
Claudiosaurus
Claudiosaurus is another unique, who knows where it goes reptile, and it showcases another shift into aquatic life for reptiles during the end-Permian mass extinction. It was 60 centimeters long, and had flippers on its feet. It probably couldn't move very much on land, so it would have lived most of its life in the water. Its tail, torso, and neck were all very long, while its head was on the smaller side. Its limbs were also quite long compared to its body size. So this was a weird animal - and we're not sure where it falls in the story of marine reptiles yet. More research on this critter is needed!
Choristoderes
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Choristoderes were semiaquatic, unplaceable reptiles that varied a lot in size over their time and managed to live through to the Miocene - so they existed from sometime in the Triassic to as recently as 11.6 million years ago! Some were as small as 30 centimeters, while others grew up to 5 meters. They were convergently similar to living crocodilians, with bodies built for semiquatic life and long narrow skulls for grabbing fish. In fact, their heads are kind of weird looking - like a heart at the base with a long projection coming off of it, if you look at it from the top. They had very simple teeth, and thin overlapping scales that were probably very soft in life. They also had webbed feet! They were exclusively fresh water animals, and may have had eggs that hatched immediately after being laid. It's wild we missed them being extant by like... a blink of an eye geologically.
Weigeltisaurids
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Reptiles have evolved gliding membranes from their ribs multiple times, and this is the first one we're talking about in this article. They lived at the end of the Permian, between 259 and 252 million years ago - only going extinct in the mass extinction, though a possible Triassic fossil is known. They were not close to lizards or dinos, but had a lot of convergently similar traits to lizards. The lower ribs, aka modified gastralia, are pulled out to the side in pairs of long hollow rods, which would have supported a gliding membrane that was controlled by the abdominal muscles. They were big, which made them less efficient gliders than living gliding lizards. Their heads were very triangular, and they had extremely long tails.
Sauropterygia
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Okay, so this group is going in "miscellaneous reptiles" because currently their evolutionary origin is in flux. We used to think they were close to the lizard and snake group, which we'll get to at the end of this post (long way to go). Then we thought they were close to turtles, and we didn't know where turtles went, so they were kind of in limbo. Then we figured out turtles were closer to crocodilians and birds than to lizards and snakes, so we dragged Sauropterygians there with them. And now studies are indicating that Sauropterygians and Ichthyosauromorphs are closely related, along with a bunch of other marine reptiles. And sometimes that group comes outside of crown-reptiles (Sauria, in a sec), and sometimes that group comes into the close to crocs and birds group like turtles. I don't know. I don't know where they go. They're going here.
Anyways, Sauropterygians includes a lot of weird marine reptiles. Helveticosaurs may be in this group - they had wide torsos, short limbs and tails, and a small square head, and were early marine reptiles during the middle Triassic. Saurospharigds may also go here - this group were superficially like turtles, but they were actually convergently similar, not related to living turtles closely at all (unless all Sauropterygians are?). They had elongated flat vertebrae on their backs, with matching chest ribs, to form a rib basket. Placodonts are the first definite group of Sauropterygians, which were *also* weirdly turtle-convergent. Some members of this group had huge scutes on their bodies, for part or all of their torsos, to protect them - different anatomically from turtle shells, but similar looking from a distance. They had teeth built for crushing shellfish, and had long tails to aid with swimming. Many members just looked like typical marine reptiles, however, and did not have those shells that later members had. Nothosaurs were Sauropterygians with long necks and tails and limbs that still had toes and were capable of going on land, but were more similar to the famous Plesiosaurs than the Placodonts were. Their feet were webbed, they ate primarily fish and squid. Pachypleurosaurs were similar, but had longer necks and limbs that were unable to go on land. The next group, Pistosaurs, had full flippers on their limbs, and long necks with triangular heads. This includes all Plesiosaurs, aka "Loch Ness Monsters", as well as things like Liopleurodon - many forms had very long necks, while many others had short necks, all across this group. Sauropterygians lived for the whole of the Mesozoic, showing up in the Early Triassic and lasting until the very end of the Cretaceous, and lived worldwide.
Drepanosaurs
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In the Triassic, a group of mystery reptiles - possibly in this group of not closely related to anything today weirdos, possibly closer to crocs and birds - that truly showcase the weirdness of the Triassic Period. Living between 230 and 201 million years ago, Drepanosaurs had very long bodies, with flexible limbs and hands adapted for grasping branches, including opposable toes on the foot and giant claws on the hands. Their heads were very small and triangular. They had a hump on their upper backs to allow for strong muscle attachments, giving them the ability to rapidly catch insects in midair. The tails of some species ended in a freaking extra claw. In short, they were generic reptiles - or almost-archosaurs - trying their damnedest to be monkeys. And they got terrifyingly close. Some had heads that were so convergently bird like that they confused bird researchers for years, but it was convergence - in fact, the beaks of Drepanosaurs are completely different anatomically.
SAURIA
If we defined reptiles above as everything closer to living reptiles than to living mammals - ie, the most inclusive group that has crocodiles but does not have mammals - this is the *least* inclusive group that still includes every living reptile. So like, Sauropsida - where we started - is like a huge clan, with only some surviving members, but the most recent grandparent those ancestors shared was not the start of the clan, it was later on in the clan's history. I hope that made sense. Anyways, this is the group we call Crown-Reptiles.
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And it, by that definition, has to include birds. Because birds and crocodilians are more closely related to each other than either are to lizards and snakes. Saurians first appeared at the end of the Permian, and diversified like crazy during the Triassic when all the niches opened up after the Great Dying. We can thank the End-Permian extinction for the sheer diversity of reptiles we have in the fossil record *and* today! Because while all those lovely friends from before were great - including the ones that persist to the Jurassic - most reptiles? Are in Sauria. There are so. Many. Reptiles. In fact, today, over 20,000 species of animals are reptiles! Mammals are only 5,513 species, and living amphibians are at 7,302. Among tetrapods, Reptiles are King! Saurians come in two groups: Archelosaurs, and Lepidosauromorphs.
ARCHELOSAURIA
The first division of Saurians is Archelosauria, the group that consists of Turtles, Crocodilians, and Birds, and *all* of their extinct relatives. For a while the position of turtles was uncertain - were they the only surviving Parareptiles? Were they cousins of Lizards? But genetic data has revealed that they go with what we call "Archosaurs" - Ruling Reptiles - the group of crocodilians and birds. How their fossil relatives are or are not a part of that story is where the mess remains. Archelosaurs come in two main flavors: Pantestudines, and Archosauromorphs.
Pantestudines
All living turtles, and everything closer to them than to any other living thing, go in this group. Turtles are truly bizarre animals, because their shells are unique among animals and not repeated by any other group. During development, ribs grow sidewise into a ridge along the back, entering the skin and supporting the carapace, which is made of dermal plates that form a hard shell, that is then covered in scutes made of keratin. The lower ribs, or gastralia, along with the collar bones, extend to form the Plastron, or lower shell. The lower shell flattens out and extends on the sides to connect with the carapace. Scutes also cover this side of the shell. It's just *weird*. Turtles are just *weird*. They originally evolved from aquatic ancestors, such as Odontochelys; though some forms became secondarily terrestrial again, with many lines of the group going back and forth - making this a rare example of a secondarily aquatic tetrapod returning to the land! Turtles laugh in the face of biome preferences.
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Many extinct turtles took on interesting forms, with some having large feet, others having extensive ornamentation - horns and bumps and nodules - on their heads. Some, like Meiolania, grew to extreme sizes. As the turtle group evolved, many returned to the sea, and became the largest ocean-dwelling turtles of all time - animals like the somewhat well known Archelon. Living turtles come in two main groups: side-necked turtles and hidden-necked turtles. They differ exactly how you'd expect - side neck turtles will retract their heads via the side of the body, curling it around the circumference, while hidden-necked turtles curl their neck into the body, pulling the head directly back into the shell. Most turtles - and all tortoises - fall into the hidden-necked group, including sea turtles! Turtles vary in size, limb length, head shape, and tail length, and live on every continent in the world today. In general, turtles are omnivorous, though many species show preferences for plants or meat.
ARCHOSAUROMORPHA
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We now dive into the rest of this side of the reptile family tree, everything closer to crocodilians and birds than they are to turtles - the Archosauromorphs. During the Triassic, this group took on many different and weird forms, making the entire group one of the most diverse groups of reptiles in terms of species count and differences in shape. All of these animals have a few things in common in their skeleton, though modern archosaur features took a while to evolve. Animals such as Sharovipteryx, the long-tailed reptile that used its legs for gliding membranes, the end-Permian survivor Protorosaurus, the *ridiculously* long-necked Tanystropheus, and aquatic Dinocephalosaurus were all early branching members of this group. But as we get closer to Archosaurs proper, we see more and more weirdness.
Allokotosaurs
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Allokotosaurs were weird large herbivores, with sprawling limbs and long tails, as well as short necks and boxy heads. They lived throughout the Triassic and were just bizarre. Some species even had horny beaks in the front of their jaws to help clip off plant material. One species, Teraterpeton, had a long, downward-pointing mouth. Other species had long, thin necks to reach higher vegetation. And, to just round out the craziness that is this group, Shringasaurus falls in here - a weird reptile with a sprawling body, shorter tail, long neck, small head, and horns on its head. Just for funsies. These herbivorous behemoths were some of the most unique animals of the Triassic Period.
Rhynchosaurs
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During the Triassic, there was a group of small, quadrupedal Archosauromorphs that really showcase the fun of convergent evolution. See, these little animals? Were Archosauromorphs doing their best to be rodents, long before rodents would ever appear. These little herbivores had short tails, stout bodies, short limbs, and front teeth that grew long for gnawing on plants - much like living rodents. Some got as long as two meters, and these were a fixture of much of the Triassic, before going extinct during the end-Triassic extinction.
Proterosuchids
Proterosuchids were a group of Archosauriformes - so still Archosauromorphs, but now getting closer to proper Archosaurs - that were a group of predators that really capitalized on the whole End Permian Mass Extinction thing. Found only in the latest Permian and earliest Triassic, these were medium sized reptiles with long tails and stout bodies. Their heads were long and narrow, with a hooked upper jaw interlocking with the lower jaw. They looked superficially like crocodilians, but lacked the scutes that are found in said group.
Erythrosuchids
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The next group to branch off, the Triassic Erythrosuchids were the apex predators of the Early and Middle Triassic, before Pseudosuchians really took over later on. They were extremely large, reaching between 2.5 and 5 meters long, with huge heads and robust bodies. When I say huge heads, I *mean* huge heads - they were robust and deep, and the upper jaw has a distinct dip that goes down lower than the lower jaw, giving their heads a very characteristic shape. They also are some of the first animals to have the Archosaur Hip Shape, so they only had a semi-sprawling posture - their limbs were more nimble!
Euparkeria
Many people have heard of Euparkeria. They even think it's a dinosaur ancestor. Well, it's not, not really. Euparkeria goes around here in the Archosaur tree, closer to living Archosaurs than the Erythrosuchids but not as close as the next group. In truth, Euparkeria is very similar to what we'd expect the common ancestor of both crocodilians and dinosaurs to be like, with fairly upright limbs - though recent studies indicate it was only quadrupedal, not capable of bipedalism. It had a long, rectangular skull, similar to early members of proper Archosauria, and osteoderms (scutes) on its back. This little guy from the Early Triassic gives us a hint as to how Archosaurs came about, with the specialized ankles we'd see in the Archosaur group first showing up in Euparkeria.
Proterochampsia
The closest group to living Archosaurs, Proterochampsians were weirdly crocodilian like, to the point of often being found to be in the crocodile line of Archosaurs! These were Triassic reptiles shaped very much like living crocodilians, with long wide bodies and tails, and very long triangular skulls. They had sprawling limbs, and scutes along their backs and bodies. The heavy osteoderms are well documented in a fully aquatic member, Vancleavea. In fact, on that side of the group, the animals had less of a crocodilian like head and more of small, tempered heads, possibly due to different lifestyles.
Phytosaurs
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Okay, these guys are either actually in the crocodilian line or just outside of Archosauria, it's a huge question. They were also weirdly crocodile like reptiles that lived during the Triassic, but were distinct from the Proterochampsians. Some had long snouts with conical teeth to eat fish, but others had shorter snouts with differently shaped teeth for eating land animals. They had distinctly serrated teeth, unlike living crocodilians, and didn't have erect or even semi erect gaits like living Archosaurs. Though many specialized for life in the water, this was a very diverse group that was doing a lot of the crocodilian-type jobs of later periods, but weren't crocodilians. They didn't have the secondary palate bone that allows crocodilians to breathe when their mouths are full of water! Weirdly, they were way more heavily armored than crocodilians, with heavy bony scutes and dense abdominal ribs (gastralia) for protection. Finally, they had their nostrils near their eyes, rather than at the end of the snout - allowing for them to breathe while submerged without that secondary bony palate.
ARCHOSAURIA
This is the group of the most recent common ancestor of living crocodilians and birds, and all of that ancestor's descendants. So while everything from Archosauromorpha to this have been closer to Archosaurs to anything else, these are the proper Ruling Reptiles as we currently define them. Archosaurs have teeth set in deep sockets, extra openings in the skull, and a pronounced ridge on their femur. They also only have claws on their first three fingers of the hand - the fourth and fifth, if they have them, lack claws. Archosaurs immediately branched into two groups: Crocodilians and their relatives, versus Birds and their relatives. We will start with the Crocodilians.
Pseudosuchia
A lot of early crocodilian relatives were superficially similar to living members, so they were originally given the name "fake crocodiles" or Pseudosuchia. Then, it turns out, that group was just the ancestors of crocodilians - which underwent many different shifts and turns in their evolution - so that means real crocs are... fake crocs. Remember friends, the names we give these things? Are extremely arbitrary. Do not take them for indicators of what these things are like. Early members had very broad, bulky skulls and even somewhat upright gaits, allowing for active predatory lifestyles. Everything from here until Avemetatarsalia are all Psuedosuchians.
Aetosauriformes
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In the Late Triassic, there weren't any armored dinosaurs, but there were Aetosaurs! These animals had extreme armor all over their bodies, with overlapping scutes on their back and often spikes or other armor on their limbs and back. They also had small, triangular heads, built for feasting on a variety of plants! These were extremely common animals, often having weirdly pig-like snouts if you squint, and mostly sprawling limbs. Found worldwide, their armor would have allowed them to be protected from the many varieties of large predator reptile around them, though they still ultimately went extinct during the end-Triassic extinction.
Poposauroids
A group that used to include other animals, this weird hodgepodge of a variety of Triassic Pseudosuchians including sail-backed animals, toothless creatures with beaks, and animals weirdly similar to dinosaurs to the point of being confused with them in the past. All of these crazies had upright limbs, and in the Shuvosaurids, this lead to animals evolving into essentially scaly lithe bipeds, what we used to think dinosaurs looked like! In fact, Effigia and Shuvosaurus both had long necks, beaks in the front of their small mouths, and completely upright postures, making them just straight up look like scaly versions of their dinosaur neighbors like Coelophysis. Alas, the Poposauroids, like many groups, went extinct in the end-Triassic extinction.
Rauisuchians
The top predators of the late Triassic, these were very large terrestrial pseudosuchians, with large boxy heads and upright limbs. This allowed them to move quickly and attack prey efficiently, making them extremely well adapted hypercarnivores. In a lot of ways, Postosuchus and its relatives in this group were convergent with later theropod predatory dinosaurs - even having huge boxy heads like Tyrannosaurs would. This means that what dinosaurs one day perfected, crocodile relatives tried out first! Alas, like most apex predators, they were not immune to mass extinctions, going extinct during the end-Triassic.
Crocodylomorpha
Now, at this point, the line that would lead to living crocodilians - Crocodylomorpha - actually look less like living crocs than the Rauisuchians and Phytosaurs did at the same time! These little reptiles were quadrupedal, thin, and built for running fast - they were lithe creatures built to avoid all of those big scary animals around them. But these were the only Pseudosuchians to survive the end-Triassic! And the first group to branch off here?
Thalattosuchians
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During the Jurassic and earliest Cretaceous, a common feature in the oceans were marine crocs - the Thalattosuchians! Still fairly distantly related to modern crocodilians, these reptiles convergently evolved many of the same adaptations for ocean dwelling as the Sauropterygians we met earlier. Some members, like Metriorhynchus, even evolved flippers and a tail fin! They had elongate bodies and very long, thin skulls for catching fish and other animals. They also gave live birth - possibly the only Archosaurs to ever do so!
Many more croc relatives would evolve into a variety of active terrestrial predatory niches, so we're going to jump down to the next major group:
Ziphosuchians
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Ziphosuchians were a group of croc relatives that actually lived from the Jurassic until the Miocene, as recently as 11 million years ago. These animals were ridiculously diverse in both diet and lifestyle, with a wide variety of shapes and sizes. Some, like Kaprosuchus, straddled the line between aquatic and terrestrial predation; others, like Sebecus, were completely terrestrial and huge predators during the Cenozoic; others had weirdly diverse teeth and thus potentially unique diets; and still others just straight up evolved to eat plants or to be omnivores, even shortening and squishing their skulls to be dubbed by modern researchers as "Pug Crocs". This huge diversity of form and ecology makes Ziphosuchians an intriguing extinct group, one that will benefit from increased research in the future. Some were even built for running around, and others had duck like snouts! This was a very diverse group I recommend learning more about.
Neosuchia
The rest of Pseudosuchia - Neosuchia - are all living crocs and their closest relatives, closer than those Ziphosuchians. Many were very similar to living crocodilians, even filling similar niches, though evolving to do so independently. Some had huge, long jaws, potentially to hold onto a throat pouch for catching large prey during the Cretaceous. Some were slender, marine reptiles, evolving to be aquatic again! The Dyrosaurids were a group of global marine, long-jawed crocs that survived the end-Cretaceous extinction and were some of the only predators in the post-extinction seas other than sharks. They had teeth in deep pits, distinct from other croc relatives. While they never developed flippers like Thalattosuchians, they did adapt their limbs for more efficient marine locomotion.
Crocodylians
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Living Crocodylians, a group of Neosuchians, only first appeared at the end of the Cretaceous, and were not the only surviving Pseudosuchians until relatively recently - many other forms, like the Ziphosuchians and Dyrosaurids, lasted until late in the Neogene, within the last 20 million years. Crocodylians have semi-sprawling limbs, lots of scutes all of their bodies, and even hearts like birds, pointing to their close relationship. They are semiaquatic animals, spending time both on land and in the water, and have their nostrils on the ends of their jaws. They have a sturdy second palate that allows them to hold water in their jaws and breathe at the same time! They also have some of the most powerful bite forces of any animal ever. Some extinct forms even did more terrestrial predation. Living species come in two groups - the Alligatorids, which have both caiman and alligators; and Longirostres, which have proper crocodiles and gharials. While most of them look very similar, Gharials have very long narrow snouts, while crocs caimans and alligators all have broader snouts.
That concludes the Pseudosuchia. Now we go back to the base of Archosauria, and look at the other half of their family - the bird line archosaurs!
Avemetatarsalia
All animals closer to birds than to crocodilians fall into this group. But that doesn't mean they were all shaped like living birds, just like so many Pseudosuchians looked very different from living crocodilians! They were originally characterized by having bird like ankles, though now the earliest members of the group lack them. At some point early on, members of this group evolved both warm-blooded metabolism and feathers, and we're not sure where. The earliest members of the group, Aphanosaurs, were semi sprawling long-bodied reptiles, fairly nondescript in appearance. That said, long was just their thing - their vertebrae are weirdly stretched out!
Pterosaurs
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Also commonly called "pterodactyls" even though that's... wrong; this is the classical group known as Flying Reptiles, and the next group to branch from the Avemetatarsalia tree! Evolving from thin, lithe, agile floofins - things like Scleromochlus and Lagerpetids - these animals extended their fourth finger extremely long, attaching a membrane of skin and muscle to that dramatically lengthened finger and down to the ankles. Early forms had long tails, with later forms shortening the tails to smaller nubbins. These were the FIRST vertebrates to evolve powered flight. Early forms were fairly generic, but over time they diversified extensively - having diamond tail ends, interlocking long thin teeth in their jaws for catching fish; others grew bristle like teeth for filter feeding small invertebrates; some grew huge bodies, with crests and display structures on their heads like Pteranodon. The Azhdarchids, huge forms that had long necks and giant heads, were some of the most successful members of this group, becoming apex predators in many ecosystems - and no wonder, given they were the largest flying animals ever and stood as tall as giraffes. In general, pterosaurs walked on four limbs, folding up their wings at their sides in order to do so. They first appeared in the Triassic, and, alas, went extinct during the end-Cretaceous extinction. This group is so diverse and fascinating that I could go on forever, so I will leave it here - but feel free to dive into their extensive wikipedia pages!
DINOSAURS
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We now move on to Dinosaurs and their closest relatives, the rest of the Avemetatarsalians. We define Dinosauria as the group composed of the two branches of the family - Ornithischians and Saurischians - usually phrased as the Most Recent Common Ancestor of Megalosaurus (a Saurischian) and Iguanodon (an Ornithischian) and all of that ancestor's descendants. Everything from here until the end of our trip through Archosaurs is a dinosaur - including every. single. bird. However, *nothing* outside of these paragraphs are dinosaurs! Dinosaurs are a single group of extremely successful reptiles, unique from all these other reptile groups - and all these other reptile groups are unique from dinosaurs. The main feature dinosaurs have in common? A completely open hip socket, allowing for limbs to be placed directly underneath the body, making dinosaurs very different in locomotion and posture than living nonavian reptiles, and very similar to their living members the birds. Early relatives showcase this evolution from semi-sprawling archosaurs to fully upright dinosaurs. Dinosaurs first appeared in the middle Triassic, though they weren't common until the Late. All the early forms were pretty much the same - small, bipedal animals, with long necks and tails, and fluffy bodies.
Ornithischians
The first main group of dinosaurs are the Ornithischians, which are united in having a small beak in the front of the jaws, called a predentary. It is possible that Silesaurids, once thought to be early Dinosaur relatives - quadrupedal lanky herbivores from the Triassic - fall in this group. All Ornithischians were primarily herbivores. Most of them were small, bipedal herbivores, but four main groups showed up over time: Stegosaurs, Ankylosaurs, Marginocephalians, and Ornithopods. Among the miscellaneous dinosaurs outside of those four groups, however, were interesting weirdos - the toothy and small Heterodontosaurs; the burrowing and armored Thescelosaurs; and, of course, the fluffy Kulindadromeus.
Stegosaurs
Stegosaurs were huge, quadrupedal herbivores with plates and spikes on their backs, necks, and tails. The plates were primarily for display and communication, while the spikes were for both display and self defense. They had very small heads, too, giving them a weird appearance. Alas, Stegosaurs lived mainly in the Jurassic, going extinct in the early Cretaceous... probably. Jury's still out based on some fragmentary fossils and tracks.
Ankylosaurs
Ankylosaurs, cousins of Stegosaurs, lived through to the end of the Cretaceous. They were heavily armored dinosaurs, with non-overlapping osteoderm scutes all over their backs and necks and heads. Many had spikes on the sides of their bodies, while other forms grew strengthened tails with clubs at the end for fighting each other. Still others grew weird sharp tail ends, formed from scutes creating a flat surface at the end of a stubby tail. They were not just like turtles, with the scutes evolving from scales rather than a shell evolving from the ribs. In fact, often times the scutes formed distinct rows along the body, not even really touching. There were tons of these dinosaurs throughout the Jurassic and Cretaceous, only going extinct in the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Marginocephalians
Marginocephalians included both Pachycephalosaurs - the dome-headed dinosaurs - and Ceratopsians, the horned and frilled dinosaurs. Pachycephalosaurs were bipedal animals, with huge domed heads and extremely strengthened tails - allowing them to butt heads and fight each other much like rams today. Ceratopsians had frills on the back of their heads - though in early forms it was very small, like Psittacosaurus - that evolved into large crests for display. Many grew horns on the side of these crests, while others grew huge horns on their faces in a variety of patterns. These horns were great for defense, but primarily served for communication and display, because some - like the curved downward horn of Einiosaurus - weren't really built for defense. Pachycephalosaurs were rare, but Ceratopsians were some of the most common dinosaurs around the world, with both groups only going extinct in the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Ornithopods
Finally, Ornithopods! Ornithopods were cousins of Marginocephalians, much as Ankylosaurs and Stegosaurs were more closely related to each other earlier. Some forms from the southern hemisphere (known as Elasmarians) were weirdly diverse, with lots of different forms from stocky and armored to small and lithe. Rhabdodonts had ridiculously complex teeth for efficient foraging, with some forms being more quadrupedal and others more bipedal. Some of the Ornithopods, Dryosaurids, evolved into extremely fast reptiles, adapted for running quickly away from predators with elongate, lean bodies. The second dinosaur ever described, Iguanodon, is from the Ornithopod group, with huge spike claws on their thumbs. Others, like Ouranosaurus, grew huge sails on their backs. While in the Jurassic and Early Cretaceous these animals were well adapted for feeding on dry hard plants, as the world grew more wet in the Late Cretaceous, they adapted to be able to chew on soft mushy plants. This huge group of Ornithopods - the Hadrosaurs- were extremely social animals, living in large herds with complex nesting sites. Some forms even grew huge crests on their heads, connected to their nostrils and lungs - allowing them to blow air through the crests, creating different sounds like brass instruments! What's really weird is that to chew that soft plant material, they grew thousands and thousands of teeth, which formed a single serrated surface for chewing. They also had weirdly long heads, superficially similar to horses; and hooves on their front feet! These diverse dinosaurs also only went extinct due to the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Saurischians
The other branch of the dinosaur family tree were the Saurischians - animals with hollow bones and lungs much like living birds, and it is from this group that birds would evolve. They come in two main flavors: Sauropodomorphs, and Theropods.
Sauropodomorphs
This is where all of the "long-necked" dinosaurs go, as well as their early relatives. In the Triassic, most of these animals were "prosauropods" - an artificial group of dinosaurs that were very successful, and from which proper Sauropods would evolve. Originally small bipedal omnivores, over time Sauropodomorphs grew longer necks, quadrupedal stances, and bulky bodies. The earliest Sauropods appeared in the Triassic, with four pillar like legs and huge torsos. Over time, a variety of different Sauropod groups would evolve. The Mamenchisaurs of Asia had the longest necks of any animal ever - reaching enormous sizes. The stocky Turiasaurs of Europe, North America, and Africa had short stocky necks and sturdy bodies. Diplodocoids included classic dinosaurs such as Apatosaurus/Brontosaurus and Diplodocus, but also weird squished forms like Brachytrachelopan, sailed ones like Rebbachisaurus, super grazers like Nigersaurus, and the weird spine-neck having Bajadasaurus. However, most sauropods fall into the group Macronaria. These were bulky dinosaurs, but evolved into some of the tallest animals ever in Brachiosaurus and Sauroposeidon. And, from this group evolved the Titanosaurs: The Largest Land Animals Ever. These were the dominant sauropods for the Cretaceous period, and were found on every continent around the world. Some grew to enormous sizes, while others were smaller; some grew armor on their backs, while others weirdly curled their tails into a spiral. Some had humps on their backs, others lost all their toe claws for maximum front limb pillar supportive action. While all other Sauropod groups had gone extinct by this point, Titanosaurs were extremely diverse and common right until the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Theropods
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All remaining dinosaurs fall into this group, the Theropods. These were all bipedal animals, and where feathers were regularly retained (other dinosaur groups usually lost their feathers as they grew bigger). Early members, like Coelophysis, had long thin necks and small heads, and were efficient fast predators in the Triassic - though not the dominant ones by any means (that went to the Pseudosuchians). Over time they grew bulkier and more powerful, with display crests on their heads like in Dilophosaurus (note: it did not have a neck frill, it did not spit poison).
Ceratosaurs
The first big grouping of Theropods to diverge were the Ceratosaurs, which were bulky predators with huge skulls and progressively smaller arms. Many had horns on their heads and armor on their bodies. Some forms remained small and thin, like Masiakasaurus, and even evolved herbivory, like Limusaurus. Others, the Abelisaurs, evolved very long thick bodies - sosig/sausage bodies - and teeny tiny arms for display purposes. They primarily caught and ate other animals with their huge, sturdy, square shaped jaws.
Megalosaurs & Allosauroids
On the line leading to birds, many different types of large predators evolved. Megalosaurs - of which the first named dinosaur, Megalosaurus, is a member - were lean predators with long arms and long heads, found across Europe and North America. One group, the Spinosaurids, evolved to be huge heron like predators, living at or near the water and scooping up fish and other animals - even creating pouches in their mouths to do so. Some evolved huge sails on their backs, presumably for display. Efficient, flexible jawed hypercarnivores - the Allosauroids - appeared in the Jurassic and were some of the largest predatory dinosaurs to ever live, lasting until the mid Cretaceous.
Coelurosaurs
Coelurosaurs contains all the rest of the Theropods, and these were very birdlike animals with more complex feathers and brains more similar to birds. Here we had Megaraptors, huge predators with giant hand claws. They were also very unique in another way. Outside of mammals, terapods are not able to turn their wrists inward, ie, form "bunny hands", rendering the "T. rex" pose that many people do to mimic dinosaurs extremely inaccurate, and all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park et al have very broken wrists. However, Megaraptors? Could turn their wrists inward. So, I guess everyone was just mimicking Australovenator this whole time, or something.
Tyrannosaurs
Tyrannosaurs were a huge group of Coelurosaurs with a variety of different members - some were small fast bipeds covered in floof with display crests on their heads; while others were bulky predators evolving bigger and bigger heads. The bulkiest known land predator, Tyrannosaurus, was one of the last members of this group. Tyrannosaurs evolved shorter and shorter arms in order to grow stronger, bigger heads - and were some of the most highly adapted carnivores in history. They lived throughout the Northern Hemisphere, and only went extinct thanks to the end-Cretaceous extinction.
Maniraptoriformes
Many different types of small, bipedal floofins evolved in Coelurosaurs - things like Compsognathus, Sinosauropteryx, and Ornitholestes. These animals progressively evolved more feathers on their arms, until finally in Maniraptoriformes we see the appearance of bird-like wings. The "Ostrich Mimics" - even though they came first - Ornithomimosaurs were dinosaurs that essentially looked like modern ostriches but with long, bony tails. These fluffy dinosaurs had simple wings on their arms for display. Some members grew huge and weird - Deinocheirus, the Demon Duck, was a huge herbivore with giant arms and a hump on its back. Evolution is amazing like that. The Alvarezsaurs remained small, and their front limbs shortened until they had a single claw on each wing - allowing them to dig up bugs and other animals from hard to reach places. Therzinosaurs grew to be upright in posture, with huge hand claws and pot bellies, allowing them to digest huge quantities of plants.
Oviraptorosaurs
The Chickenparrots - Oviraptorosaurs - were herbivorous dinosaurs with near-modern wings. They had shortened tails, and long necks, and squat bodies. They lived throughout the Cretaceous and were extremely common. Some members had huge crests on their heads; most of the later members had huge, parrot-like beaks as well. Honestly, Oviraptorosaurs were very weird and charismatic dinosaurs, and mainly ate an omnivorous to herbivorous diet.
Scansoriopterygids
At this point, one of the weirdest dinosaur groups - the Scansoriopterygids - diverged. They didn't live for very long, only found in the Jurassic of China; but they evolved membraneous wings between their fingers, making them - essentially - actual (small) wyverns.
Dromaeosaurs
Dromaeosaurs - "raptor" dinosaurs - are where we see the first signs of flight in dinosaurs, with Microraptor having wings on its arms and legs allowing for a clumsy version of flight. Most members couldn't fly, but they came in a lot of weird shapes and sizes - with some even being semi aquatic and shaped like geese! They had sickle claws on their feet, which were good for stabbing strategically at certain places in their prey, leading to the prey bleeding out. They would hold their prey steady by rapidly flapping their wings, which they could also do to move quickly up steep surfaces. These predators ranged in size from very small to bear sized, though Velociraptor - the most famous one - was only the size of a coyote. All of them - ALL of them - were feathered like living birds.
Troodontids and early Avialae
Their cousins, the Troodontids - which may or may not be closer to birds, we don't know - were also very bird like, but more slender in proportion and with smaller sickle claws. Interestingly, they had some of the largest brains for their bodies among Mesozoic ("nonavian") dinosaurs. Other forms similar to them - may or may not be in a group with them - called Anchisaurids, still retained the leg wings of Microraptor and co. Many of these animals have been preserved with complex, fluffy feathers, similar to living birds. Still similar yet, Archaeopteryx didn't have four wings, but did have fluffy legs and sickle claws on its feet similar to Troodontids and Anchisaurids. One dinosaur, Jeholornis, evolved to eat seeds; while another, Sapeornis, was one of the first dinosaurs to try out a lifestyle similar to living birds of prey.
Enantiornithines
At this point, dinosaurs lost their bony tails and grew shortened, fused tails - the tails of modern birds. They tried out lots of different forms with this - dinosaurs with ribbon tail feathers like Confuciusornis, and then the Opposite Birds, or Enantiornithines. See, living birds have a concave joint location on the coracoid (shoulder bone) and a convex joint on the scapula to link to it; in Enantiornithines, the concave joint is the scapula, and the convex is the coracoid. Enantiornithines were extremely common, with countless forms across the Cretaceous period - some were waders, others were like birds of prey, some even adapted to look like toucans with teeth. Still, all of them went extinct at the end of the Cretaceous.
Euornithes
The line to true birds, with the correct wing articulation, wasn't quite as diverse, but had many members. Many of these animals were adapted for water based life, while others evolved to be large flightless animals. Others were simple tree dwelling birds, living alongside the similar looking Enantiornithines. The closer you get to living birds, the more teeth were lost - and the modern bird beak began to evolve. Still, teeth are found in the closest relatives to modern birds, Ichthyornis and the Hesperornithes. Hesperornithes were a group of Cretaceous dinosaurs that evolved for aquatic life, spending all their time in the water hunting fish - kind of looking like a toothy penguin or loon.
NEORNITHES
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All remaining dinosaurs fall into Neornithes, the least inclusive group that still has all living birds, a derived clade of the Theropods. These were the only dinosaurs to survive the end-Cretaceous extinction. You can literally divide dinosaurs based on that extinction - everyting above this, from the Mesozoic; everything below this, from the Cenozoic. Today, half of all reptiles - over 10,000 species, possibly up to 20,000 - are birds. There is no way for me to go over all birds without losing my mind, so I'm going to summarize them as simply as I can. But these dinosaurs are, as you can see, firmly nested in the dinosaur family tree - there is no way to separate them out. What follows is the world's most efficient description of bird diversity ever.
Palaeognaths
The first major division is between Palaeognaths and Neognaths. Palaeognaths include ratites like Ostriches, Cassowaries, and Emu, but also the flighted Tinamou. It seems that this group evolved flightlessness multiple times, and did not all stem from a flighted ancestor - an extinct group, the Lithornithids, were fully flighted, tree dwelling dinosaurs of the Paleocene and Eocene (right after the end-Cretaceous extinction). Neognaths contains all other birds.
Galloanserans
Neognaths contains Fowl - chickens, ducks, and relatives - and all other birds. The fowl group, Galloanserae, has some of the only Neornithines we have fossils of from the Cretaceous. These animals come in a wide variety of forms - including the extinct, large, flightless Gastornis and Mihirungs. Ducks, Geese, Swans, Screamers, and Magpie-Geese all fall into the Waterfowl side of Galloanserae; while Chickens, Pheasants, Megapodes, Partridges, Grouse, Curassow, Guineafowl, Quail, Guans, and Chachalacas are on the Landfowl side.
One group of birds, the extinct pseudotoothed Pelagornithids, resist classification - it's unclear where they go, but they might actually be closely related to the fowl. These were some of the largest flying birds ever, and had eldritch horror mouths. Birds can't reevolve teeth - they lost the genes for enamel - so instead, some make their tongues sharp, while Pelagornithids just decided to eff up their jaws.
Neoaves
Now, the rest of birds are in Neoaves, which seems to have arisen at the very end of the Cretaceous and diversified extremely rapidly at the start of the Paleocene. This means their evolutionary relationships are a MESS and we don't really know what goes where between here and Telluraves. Different groups of these miscellaneous Neoavians include Mirandornithes (flamingos, grebes, and the extinct giant swimming flamingos), Columbimorphs (pigeons, mesites, and sandgrouse), Otidimorphs (bustards, cuckoos, and maybe turacos), Strisores (hummingbirds, swifts, potoo, frogmouth, nightbirds - the flying specialist clade), Gruiformes (cranes and rails), Charadriiformes (waders, gulls, and auks), Eurypygimorphs (Sunbittern, Kagu, and Tropicbirds), and Aequornithes (water birds). Aequornithes is an extremely diverse group, including loons, penguins, albatross, petrels, storks, boobies, cormorants, herons, ibises, shoebill, hamerkop, and pelicans - as well as an extinct group, the Plotopterids, which were boobies doing their best penguin impression! There's also the Hoatzin, which is a mysterious bird among these mysteriously related birds, that doesn't really go with anything - but man, does it smell.
Telluraves
The rest of birds fall into Telluraves, known as the tree dwelling birds, which evolved from a predatory common ancestor. These include the Accipitrimorphs, which fall into Cathartiformes - Western Hemisphere Vultures, including the Teratorns that went extinct recently - and Accipitriformes, which includes all hawks, eagles, buzzards, Eastern Hemisphere vultures, the Secretarybird, kites, and other diurnal birds of prey that aren't falcons or seriemas. Owls, aka nocturnal birds of prey, form another group in this clade, with many weird extinct forms - including the stilt-owls. Coraciimorphs are a major group of Telluraves, which includes mouse birds, cuckoo roller, trogons, quetzals, hornbills, kingfishers, hoopoe, and woodpeckers - this extremely diverse group of tree dwellers is found worldwide and includes so many weird animals (have y'all seen how the tongue works in woodpeckers? Yeah).
Australaves
Australaves is the last remaining clade, still within Telluraves, and its a group of birds that arose in Australasia. The first group to diverge were the Seriemas and their relatives, which includes all the Terror Birds - one of the most successful predator bird lineages ever, with tons of species that carried on the theropod legacy excellently in South America and then North America, only going extinct due to the ice age. Next to diverge are the falcons and caracacaras, which are very different and separated from the other diurnal birds of prey we discussed above - and also, very cute. Next up? Parrots! Finally! Parrots includes everything from the Kakapo to the Macaw, and had a lot of huge varieties over their evolution.
Passeriformes
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Sister to Parrots, our last bird group, within Australaves, and including HALF of all bird species, are the Passerines - Perching Birds. Literally, there are more species of Passerines - just one group of birds - than there are of all mammals. I'm going to list them now as simply as I can, but just know, there are so many of these, and they are very diverse and very colorful and very weird and they include the second smartest animal on earth after people, the members of the genus Corvus. So, Perching Birds include New Zealand Wrens, Asities, Broadbills, Sapayoa, Pittas, Crescentchests, Gnateaters and Gnatpittas, Antbirds, Antpittas, Tapaculos, Antthrushes, Ovenbirds, Woodcreepers, Manakins, Cotingas (including the Cock of the Rock), Tityras, Tyrant Flycatchers, Scrub-Birds, Lyrebirds, Australian treecreepers, Bowerbirds, Fairywrens, Emu-wrens, Grasswrens, Bristlebirds, Pardalotes, Scrubwrens, Thornbills, Gerygones, Honeyeaters, Pseudo-babblers, Logrunners, Jewel-Babblers, Quail-Thrushes, Cuckooshrikes, Trillers, Whiteheads, Sittellas, Whipbirds, Wattled Ploughbill, Shirketits, Australo-Papuan Bellbirds, Painted Berrypeckers, Vireos, Whistlers, Oriols, Figbirds, Boatbills, Woodswallows, Butcherbirds, Currawongs, Australian Magpie, Berryhunters, Shrikes, Boubous, Tchagras, Bristleheads, Ioras, Wattle-eyes, Batises, Vangas, Fantails, Drongos, Flycatchers, Ifrits, Birds of Paradise, Choughs, Apostlebirds, Melampittas, Jayshrikes, Crows, Ravens, Jays, Satinbirds, Berrypeckers, New Zealand Wattlebirds, Longbills, Stitchbirds, Australian Robins, Rail Babblers, Rockfowl, Rock jumpers, Hyliotas, Fairy Flycatchers, Tits, chickadees, Titmice, Reedlings, Larks, Nicators, Warblers, Crombecs, Cisticolas, Reed Warblers, Grassbirds, Donacobius, Malagasy Warblers, Wren-Babblers, Swallows, Martins, Bulbuls, Babblers, Parrotbills, White-eyes, Laughinthrushes, Fulvettas, Leaf-warblers, Hylias, Bushtits, Scrub Warblers, Bush Warblers, Yellow FLycatchers, Palmchats, Waxwings, Silky Flycatchers, Hylocitrea, Hypocolius, Hawaiian Honeyeaters, Elachura, Dippers, Chats, Thrushes, Oxpeckers, Starlings, Rhabdorns, Mockingbirds, Thrashers, Goldcrests, Kinglets, Wallcreeper, Nuthatches, Treecreepers, Gnatcatchers, Wrens, Sugarbirds, Dapple-Throat, Sunbirds, Flowerpeckers, Leafbirds, Fairy-Bluebirds, Olive Warbler, Przewalski's Finch, Weavers, Indigobirds, Whydahs, Waxbills, Munias, Accentors, Sparrows, Snowfinches, Wagtails, Pipits, Finches, Euphonias, Thrush-Tanagers, Longspurs, Buntings, Cardinals, Mitrospingid Tanagers, regular Tanagers, Yellow Breasted Chat, Grackles, Blackbirds, Orioles, Wrentthrush, a bunch of weird warblers, spindalises, and Hispaniolan Tanagers.
Why the fuck are passerines so diverse, you ask? Apparently their genetic makeup leads to speciation at the drop of a hat. It's wild.
And that, my friends, is all dinosaurs. Everything from the Dinosaur header to now.
Let's go back to the base of Sauria! Take it back now y'all!
LEPIDOSAUROMORPHA
Finally, the other half of the Saurian tree! Lepidosauromorphs, unlike Archosaurs, kept a fully sprawling gait, but had a sliding joint in the shoulder blade chest area to allow for longer strides while moving, and pleurodont teeth - teeth fused to the inner surface of the jaw bone. They also retain the Parietal Eye - a small "third eye" on the top of the head found in earlier reptiles and amphibians - which is not found in Archosaurs or Turtles. Thus, these are extremely unique reptiles - though they superficially look similar to many of the reptile groups we've covered, they have adaptations for more efficient feeding and locomotion. In addition, many Lepidosaurs - including Tuatara and many forms of lizard - have tail autonomy, meaning, they can shed their tail and regrow it in order to elude predators, a feature not found in Archosaurs. This group is the group of Lizards, Snakes, and Tuatara, and all of their extinct relatives - things closer to them than to the Archosaur side of the tree.
Kuehneosaurids
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Unlike Archosaurs, Lepidosaurs don't have a lot of varied and diverse extinct relatives - while Archosauromorpha is filled to the brim with weirdos, Lepidosauromorphs only have a few isolated forms showing the evolution to Lepidosaurs, and possibly the Kuehneosaurids. Kuehneosaurids were another experiment in reptilian gliding via rib extinctions, living entirely in the Triassic and completley separate from the Weigeltisaurids from earlier. They were insectivores, with pin like teeth, and very small heads. Some members were capable of gliding, while others were only really good at leaping from branch to branch.
Crown Lepidosaurs are made up of two groups: Rhynchocephalians (Tuatara) and Squamates (lizards and snakes).
Rhynchocephalia
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Today, there is only one: the Tuatara. In the past, they were everywhere, extremely common reptiles found around the world, especially in the Triassic and Jurassic. Compeletely separate from lizards, these reptiles had fused skull bones into a bar across the top of each side of the head, and unique teeth for digesting a wide variety of food. While the only living member looks superficially like lizards, extinct species took many forms - including one that had very small legs and a very elongate body for simming through the water (Pleurosaurus). Sapheosaurids had huge broad tooth plates, allowing them to eat hard shelled organisms. Today, the living Tuatara doesn't replace its teeth during its life, leading to a changing diet from childhoood to adulthood, switching from hard prey to softer prey as they age. Today, they are only found in Aotearoa.
Squamates
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All remaining reptiles - including just as many species as birds - are the Squamates, otherwise known as lizards and snakes. Squamates aren't just generic reptiles, but highly specialized animals with very unique adaptations. They have horny scales all over their body that have to be shed via moulting, and are very differently formed than the scales found in Archelosaurs. They have movable bones in the quadrate, allowing the upper jaw to move independently. In addition, viviparity - giving birth to live young rather than eggs - evolved multiple times in Squamates, across a variety of members. And they varied extensively in size, with extremely small members less than an inch long, to huge marine members that are long extinct.
The first group to diverge are the Dibamids, or Blind Skinks, which are small insectivorous lizards that burrow into the soil. They also lack limbs, but will not be the last lizards to lose their limbs.
Gekkotans
Next up are the Gekkos - small, mainly carnivorous lizards found everywhere but Antarctica. They have a variety of clicking and chirping sounds, unique among lizards, and have loud mating calls. They are usually nocturnal, and many have specialized toe pads, allowing them to grab and climb on smooth and vertical surfaces. There are over a thousand species of Gekkos alone.
Scincomorphs
Next are the Skinks and their close relatives, the Scincomorphs. This has a lot of different forms, including many extinct ones. These lizards have cone shaped heads with very large and symmetrical scales, forming kind of a shield over their bodies. These scales are smooth and glossy. They have dermal armor, as well, and long tapering tails. There are over a thousand species, and many are found in the desertws of Australia and temperate areas of North America. Girdled Lizards, Spinytail Lizards, and Night Lizards all fall into this group along with Skinks.
Lacertoidea
Up next are the Lacertoids, a big group of diverse lizards united by having tile-like scales on their bodies, which form characteristic rings in Amphisbaenians. Members include the Amphisbaenians - aka worm lizards, yet another lizard group that lost their legs - as well as the Wall Lizards (Lacertids), Largescale Lizards (Alopoglossids), Spectacled Lizards (Gymnophthalmids), Whiptails, Racerunners, and Tegus (Teiids). This group also has over a thousand species with a variety of ecologies - and some members even are capable of parthenogenesis! Most Lacertoids are small or medium sized, though Tegus get quite big. They are slender lizards, with long tails, and a wide vareity of colors.
Toxicofera
All remaining squamates - literally all - fall into a single group, the Toxicoferans. As the name suggests, these reptiles have in common the presence of venemous members - species that produce venom and are able to deliver it to prey via biting. In fact, venom seems to have only evolved the once in reptiles: in th ancestor of this group, Toxicofera (see why a venomous Dilophosaurus, a dinosaur very far removed from this group, was ridiculous?). Containing half to sixty percent of all Squamates, Toxicoferans are to Squamates as Passerines are to Birds. There's just SO many of them. We used to not know about this group, because they don't have morphological similarities other than the venom - but thanks to genetic studies, we have been able to recover it with genomic phylogenetics. Evolution sure is fun! They first appeared in the Late Triassic, meaning all these other lizard groups diverged rapidly during that period. Toxicoferans have two main groups: Iguanians with Anguimorphs, and Snakes.
Anguimorphs
Anguimorphs include a lot of different varied lizards, such as beaded lizards, Gila Monster, Knob-Scaled Lizards, Galliwasps, American Legless Lizards, Glass Lizards, Alligator Lizards, Crocodile Lizards, and Monitor Lizards. As such, it includes the largest living lizard species, the Komodo Dragon! These reptiles can have limbs or be limbless, can have long tails or short tails, can give birth to live young, feed on insects, be hypercarnivores, be semiaquatic, or even have well developed limbs for climbing. There were also many extinct forms of this group, which were venomous and often very dangerous predators in their Mesozoic environments.
Polyglyphanodontians
A completely extinct group of lizards, these reptiles were relatives of Iguanians and were the dominant type of lizard across North America and Asia during the Cretaceous and earliest Paleogene. Many had large, blunt teeth for crushing food; others were specialized herbivores with iguana like teeth; and yet others had blade like teeth for shearing plants. Most went extinct at the end-Cretaceous, with only one form surviving into the Cenozoic and going extinct in the Eocene.
Iguanians
Iguanians, the remainder of the non-snake lizards, includes two thousand species of Iguanas, Chameleons, Anoles, Phrynosomatids, Agamids, and more - such as Collared Lizards, Leopard Lizards, Helmet Lizards, Curly-Tailed Lizards, Spiny Lizards, Swift Lizards, and Tree Lizards. Most are arboreal, but many are terrestrial. They have non-prehensile tongues, which are extremely unique and modified in Chameleons. Most are found in the Western Hemisphere, though many are found on islands around the world.
Mosasaurs
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A group of large marine lizards, closely related to snakes (which we will visit next), these huge predators were a fixture of the Late Cretaceous seas, before going extinct during the end-Cretaceous extinction. These reptiles over time turned their legs into flippers, and developed fins on their tails, completely adapting for aquatic life. They had bodies similar to living monitor lizards, but elongated and streamlined for swimming. They would swim through the water with strong tail propulsions, similar to sharks and ichthyosaurs. They probably would rapidly pounce on prey, swimming extremely fast to catch them by surprise. Many were adapted for eating on shelly hard prey, while others were more adapted for feeding on fish and other vertebrates (such as other marine reptiles). They had double hinged jaws and flexible skulls allowing them to swallow huge prey whole. They gave birth to live young, and had a lot of similar adaptations for marine life to living cetaceans - kind of making them the lizard version of whales, especially given they were warm blooded. They had diamond shaped scales over their body, similar to their living relatives, the snakes.
Ophidians
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Snakes and their relatives, Ophidians, are our last group of Squamates. Firmly nested in the group, more closely related to some lizards (Iguanians and Anguimorphs) than to others, this makes snakes - by every definition - a kind of lizard. This bothers a lot of people, but there's no way around it: Snakes are highly adapted lizards. They had many extinct relatives, where all living snakes are in the group Serpentes. Early relatives, such as Lapparentophiids and Simoliophiids, show the evolution of snakes from their lizard ancestors. Some indicators show that snakes may have originally been marine - which explains the whole "Mosasaurs are closest to snakes" thing, at least somewhat. Some early fossils even showcase the reduction of the limbs, which would be lost entirely in proper snakes. However, most researchers think snakes certainly started out as burrowers, with an early relative Najash in the Cretaceous being a terrestrial burrowing animal and the even earlier Tetrapodophis also showing adpatations for burrowing life. Snakes first arose in the Cretaceous, and exploded in diversity during the Cenozoic. The puzzle of snake and mosasaur evolution is one that many scientists are actively working to solve - did snakes start as burrowers, or swimmers?
Madtsoiids
One group of snakes, the Madtsoiids, evolved in the Late Cretaceous and persisted up until the Pleistocene - so very recently - in Australia. Including some of the longest snakes known, they were either just outside the group of living snakes or the first group of them to split out (or maybe they aren't a natural group, but this post is already too long so I'll leave that there). They didn't have the highly mobile jaws of living snakes, so they couldn't swallow large prey, but they did have strong trunks to allow them to squeeze their prey like living boids. If this is a natural group, they only went extinct probably due to the climate change of the Pleistocene, or maybe due to human activity.
Scolecophidians
The nexzt group to diverge are blind and thread snakes, which definitely bolsters the burrowing idea, as many of these snakes have extremely reduced eyes and spend their lives burrowing in the ground. These snakes only use one lung and one oviduct, presumably to make themselves more streamlined and efficient for burrowing life. They do sometimes come up after rain, which is usually the only time you can see them - they do this to escape flooding in their burrows. These are small snakes, found across the world.
Amerophidians
Amerophidians, which is a very small group of unique snakes, includes the American Pipe Snake, Dwarf Boas, and Thunder Snakes. Most members of this group aren't venemous. They have very striking color patterns and are found in South and Central America. Some species are arboreal, while others mainly spend their time burrowing underground. The American Pipe Snake especially eats a very wide variety of other animals, including Caecilians, Amphisbaenids, other snakes, fish, and frogs.
Uropeltoids
This next group of snakes includes shield tailed snakes, earth snakes, pipe and cylinder snakes, and dwarf pipe snakes. These snakes are also burrowers, ranging across South and Southeast Asia. They are nonvenemous, and have distinctive patterns on their bodies. These are some of the most enigmatic snakes, with many poorly understood by researchers. They eat a variety of food, including small invertebrates as well as other snakes and vertebrates.
Pythonoids
Pythons and snakes closer to pythons than to Boas or Caenophidians are what we find in this group, though it's unclear how they're related to those two other groups (the three of them together make up most snakes). Pythons are nonvenomous snakes, suffocating their prey to kill it, and are found across Africa Asia and Australia (with invasive forms in Florida thanks to pet release and one species just native to Mexico). They are ambush predators, hiding to strike prey by surprise. Many forms have very iridescent scales, and some species do burrow and spend most of their time underground before coming up to hunt for frogs and small mammals. They reproduce with eggs.
Booids
Boas, anacondas, tree boas, and their relatives fall into this group, which are extremely common snakes in the Americas and also found in other continents around thew orld. They also, interestingly, have vestigial hindlimbs, that are spurs near the vent region. They, like pythons, kill their prey with Constriction, but can eat prey up to the size of tapirs - even swallowing prey whole, taking weeks to fully digest. They don't crush their prey to death, but rather kill them with suffocation. Unlike pythons, most booids give birth to live young.
Caenophidians
This is our last reptile group, and it includes 80% of all living snake species - basically every snake not previously mentioned. As such, this includes file snakes, racer snakes, odd-scaled snakes, snail-eaters, vipers, water snakes, mudsnakes, cobras, coral snakes, sea snakes, mole snakes, sand snakes, shovel-snouts, burrowing asps, stiletto snakes, hognose snakes, ratsnakes, and so many more. Venemous snakes - like vipers and cobras, including rattlesnakes - are in this group, but not all members are venemous. These snakes are found all around the world, and feed on a wide variety of prey items, including other snakes and lizards.
And those are the reptiles. So many weird extinct forms, so many diverse living ones, the age of reptiles did not end with the Mesozoic - instead, it adapted into the wonderful forms we see today.
I hope you enjoyed this, as long as it was, and thanks for reading!
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angelicyoongie · 6 months
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lovesick (XI)
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— pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader — word count: 4.6k — warnings: yandere, stalking, obsessive behaviour, other content that may be triggering. — summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didn’t expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasn’t bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you’re being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out who’s behind it yourself – and hopefully before it’s too late.
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Previous – Next
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You rest your head on the back of the couch, staring out at the snowflakes that drift to the ground one by one. The trees outside are blanketed in a thin layer of snow, white powder clinging to barren branches. Time has moved quickly yet all too slowly since you were brought here, the days blending into nothing. Judging by the weather, you think it must be late November by now. You prefer not to ask – without the finality of an exact date, it's easier to pretend that you haven't been here for over two months.
There's a soft hum going throughout the entire cabin, portable heaters working overtime to keep the chill out. Seokjin must've bought out an entire store with how many there are scattered around, the first one already appearing the day after Namjoon brought you back. The heaters have been added one by one with each passing week as the temperatures have continued to drop and you're honestly amazed that the old cabin can even handle such a high energy consumption. You do sometimes wonder how Jimin has explained away the no-doubt skyrocketing electrical bill, but considering no one has come to check it out; the station clearly doesn't find it all that suspicious. 
You shiver instinctively as the wind howls, the thin windows fighting against the frost that's beginning to cling to them. The crackling fireplace can't keep every room warm, not anymore, but it still gives the common room a little boost of coziness, a little extra warmth whenever the wind picks up outside. You're not actually cold but that doesn't stop the arm around your waist from pulling you back, plastering you against Taehyung's chest.
Seokjin didn't lie when he told you that they would be watching you around the clock. 
Your personal bubble is constantly invaded, the chilly weather being the perfect excuse for the boys to cling to you like a second skin. Some part of you is always being touched, regardless of whether you like it or not. They like to pretend it's just to 'keep you warm' but you can see the thinly veiled threat for what it is. This is their way of reminding you that they don't trust you – that you've brought all of this upon yourself. 
"What are you thinking about, babe?" Taehyung mumbles sleepily against the back of your neck. 
"Nothing special," You say, the words tumbling out easier than you'd like. "I'm just not looking forward to how cold it's going to get up here." 
"Hmm," Taehyung's mouth flutters over your skin as he tightens his grip around your waist, "You don't have to be worried, Y/n, I'm sure we can come up with lots of ways to keep you warm." 
You can't remember when your skin stopped crawling at Taehyung's flirty remarks. 
Maybe it was after those two weeks he and Jimin had been banned from the cabin – their own personal punishment for pushing you too far. You didn't think much of it, didn't care about how they fought and yelled about how unfair it was. You were still trapped, so what difference did five or seven hovering soulmates make? After all, the two of them had set you up, ruined your plans, so it felt like a small victory that their actions actually had consequences. Taehyung and Jimin didn't cross your mind once while they were away. So why, why, did you feel like you had missed them the day they returned? 
It was like a switch had been flipped in their absence, one you couldn't turn back off. Ever since that night you let yourself be held by Seokjin, something had happened. You could no longer find the energy to flinch or frown when they reached out to touch you. Their sweet words and love stricken gazes didn't garner the same disgust as it used to. It was like the fight had been drained out of you. You were so tired of feeling scared, angry, hopeless, so you simply just... stopped.
Something in you finally gave up that night and decided it was time to accept your fate. It was easier. It hurt less. And so you've slowly been coming to terms with it, with this, ever since. 
You sink into Taehyung's embrace as he lays back down on the couch, your head on his chest and your legs tangled together in the cramped space. He lets out a content breath at the way your body relaxes into him, at how you hold on to him like you want to be there. 
Small patterns are drawn on your back as you listen to the steady beat of Taehyung's heart. A wooden log crackles and fusses as it breaks apart, sending small embers floating into the burning flames. You never expected that you would ever end up here, feeling uncomfortable and yet somehow, undoubtedly, safe in one of your stalkers' arms. 
It should make you horrified, repulsed, after everything they put you through, but you can't help the way your soul sings at the close proximity. Being around them is starting to feel right – and you're no longer sure how much of you, the real you, will be left by the time the soulbond truly settles. 
It doesn't matter how much you hate it. You can't do anything to change it as long as you're stuck here, with them. 
You stare at the flickering flames, releasing a shuddering sigh. 
Maybe... Maybe your next life will be better.
That's the only comforting thought you allow yourself to have. 
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"Can you pass me the salt, sunshine?" 
You wordlessly hand the shaker over to Hoseok, watching as he only adds a little dash to the dough he's mixing up. His arm flexes as he combines it all into a firm ball, strong hands making quick work of the rather heavy dough. After you let it slip a few days ago that you were craving cookies, Hoseok decided to make it his mission to bake you some. The amount of dough he's mixing up would have been enough to feed you for weeks if you were alone – but since you're currently living with seven men who can eat their own body weight for breakfast, lunch and dinner – it might just last you two days if you're lucky. 
Leaning your hip against the counter, you bite your lip as you continue to watch Hoseok work. 
There is a question you've been burning to ask him, that you feel like you need to know before you can fully accept your new reality; how did he find you?
While the other boys have told you of their own volition, Hoseok still hasn't mentioned it. You know he first saw you at that fundraiser but that doesn't explain how he managed to figure out your name or address. You had barely worked at Filter for a month when the event happened, so it's not like any of the other vendors knew who you were. The booth for the café was listed under your boss' name and you weren't wearing a name tag, so how did he do it? 
"Take a picture Y/n, it'll last you longer," Hoseok grins as he catches you staring at his profile. 
"Huh? N-no, I–" You stammer, eyes widening as you realize you must have zoned out while you were thinking.
You're momentarily saved from your embarrassment as Yoongi peeks his head into the kitchen, hair windswept and his cheeks flushed from the cold.
"I got you what you asked for from the store," He announces, showing you the plastic bag in his hand. 
"Thank you, Yoongi," You don't fight the soft smile that settles on your lips, your heart fluttering treacherously at the sweet grin you get in return. 
"Anything for you," He mumbles shyly as he leaves the bag by the kitchen entrance, cheeks a little pinker than before as he goes back to the common room. 
Your eyes jump from the plastic bag to one of the kitchen shelves just above it, gaze getting caught on the familiar black box that's perched upon it. The sight of it still makes something sour explode in your stomach. The contents inside are the whole reason you ended up here in the first place and you hate that you have to look at it every day. You've weighed the consequences of getting rid of it once or twice, of tossing it into the fireplace and watching the kaleidoscope of coloured letters burn into nothing, but you just can't find it in yourself to do so. Even if you'll never be able to use it, it's still evidence.
It's not the only thing that's been collected from your apartment, either. The mantle above the fireplace is decorated with a few of Taehyung's postcards and some of Yoongi's lyrics are framed on the wall alongside pictures Seokjin snapped of you. They must've removed all their gifts and letters to cover their tracks shortly after they took you. You're not sure why they felt the need to bring them here but you're sure that they have some twisted explanation for it. 
You can practically hear Jimin's voice saying 'we got you such nice gifts baby, why shouldn't they be on display?' whenever you look at them. 
"Hyung is such a softie," Hoseok chuckles, his voice bringing you out of your thoughts. 
You make a sound in agreement, shifting your weight nervously as you watch him finish up the dough. He carefully adds a pile of chopped-up chocolate, working the pieces into the firm mixture. 
As Hoseok pops the bowl into the fridge and moves over to the sink to wash his hands, you clear your throat, finally blurting out a rushed, "Can I ask you something?"
Hoseok hums under his breath as he scrubs his skin clean, taking his sweet time as he leaves you waiting for an answer. You barely catch the quick flicker of his gaze on your neck, eyes lingering on the bare skin that's visible above your sweater before he turns back to shut off the sink. 
"Sure," He agrees, eyebrow quirking as he reaches out for a towel to dry his hands, "I'll answer your questions if you promise to do something for me afterward."
You swallow thickly, uncertainty prickling at the back of your skull. You have no idea what kind of favour Hoseok will ask of you in return, but you're too curious to pass this chance up. 
"Okay," You nod. The gleam in Hoseok's eyes leaves you a little unsettled but you need to know the answer to your question. 
The fridge buzzes loudly in the beat of silence that passes between you. Hoseok leans against the counter, crossing one ankle over the other as he gives you an encouraging nod. "Ask away then, sunshine." 
"I want to know how you found me, how you figured out where I live," You breathe, your pulse kicking at the flash of surprise that passes over Hoseok's features. 
"Hm. That's a rather unexpected question but you'll get your answer," Hoseok says, pursing his lips.
"I first saw you at the fundraiser, you know that. I wanted to approach you, offer to drive you home to make sure you were okay after that bitch touched you–"
Hoseok utters the word with such venom it makes the hair on your arms raise, "–but your friend beat me to it. Heejun, was it? I couldn't just leave you, not after finally finding my soulmate, so I decided to follow you." 
Your heart squeezes at the mention of your best friend, longing filling every inch of your chest. 
"I wanted to make sure that you got home safe. I actually tried to approach you a few times after your shifts at Filter but something always got in the way, and you slipped away before I had the chance to introduce myself," He sighs.
"After a few weeks, I felt like I had missed my window but I couldn't just give up, not when I had finally found you. So I figured there was no harm in continuing to watch you from afar, making sure you were safe while I figured out how to break the news to you. By the way, your building isn't all that safe, sunshine, I got ahold of your apartment number just by asking one of the old ladies who were having a smoke outside."
Hoseok shakes his head, clicking his tongue as if he wasn't part of the problem that made your apartment unsafe in the first place. 
"I thought giving you letters and gifts was romantic, that it would make you curious about who your secret admirer might be – that you would feel happy to know there was someone out there who cared for you," Hoseok gives a flat chuckle. His eyes are stormy as they flick over to the black box, "But it turns out I was doing the opposite. I can't believe Tae managed to influence the bond that much." 
Hoseok seems surprisingly upset about how things played out, like he actually thought he was doing something nice. 
You give a small shrug, knowing that there's nothing you can say to lighten the mood. Even without Taehyung's influence, Hoseok still took things way too far – he was the one who decided to drug you, after all. 
"Did that answer your question, Y/n?"
"Yeah, thank you," You murmur.
Although it still makes a burst of fear flare up in your chest every time you think about what they've put you through, it's nice to finally know exactly how Hoseok did it. Although it's too late to do anything about it now, there is some solace in finally getting an answer to one of the many questions you've had ever since the first envelope showed up. 
"Now for your end of the deal," Hoseok says, nimble legs already carrying him across the kitchen, "Stay here for a second, sunshine, I'll be right back!"
Hoseok is only out of the room for thirty seconds tops before he returns, one hand hidden behind his back. He watches you carefully as he presents a familiar flat squared box to you, dark eyes drinking in every minuscule detail of your reaction. 
"Oh, that's–"
Your voice tapers off as Hoseok opens the box, revealing a necklace you've seen before. It's one of the jewelry pieces he gifted you alongside his letters, one of many you had stashed away under your bed to forget about. The golden chain is attached to a small, dainty sun pendant, the design simple yet clearly expensive. 
You have seen this necklace somewhere else before too, though. Your gaze flickers up to Hoseok's neck as you're hit with the memory of your first visit to his shop; of how you noticed the chain that slipped out of his shirt as he assisted you.
It's the exact same design. 
"They match," Hoseok confirms as he gently takes the necklace out of the box. 
Couple necklaces.
You give him a weak smile, "That's very, um, sweet."
"Isn't it?" Hoseok looks fondly down at the piece of jewelry. "Will you turn around so I can put it on you?"  
You do so easily, knowing that Hoseok could have asked you for something far worse in return for sating your curiosity.
Hoseok's breath hits the back of your neck as he steps closer, the warmth sending goosebumps all over your skin. You can almost feel the rise and fall of his chest as he brings the necklace around your neck, clasping it in place. The tips of his fingers skate across your throat under the pretense of fixing the chain, your breath hitching as a fluttering kiss is placed just below your ear. 
"Fits you perfectly," Hoseok murmurs against your skin. 
"Thank you," You whisper, swallowing thickly. You bring a hand up to touch the necklace, feeling how the pendant rests in the nook between your collarbone. 
Hoseok hands trail down the outline of your body as he pulls back, squeezing your hips as he reluctantly says, "You can go join the others in the common room, sunshine. We need to wait a bit before we can bake the cookies and there's no point getting the other snacks ready too soon, the others will just hover it up." 
"S-sounds good," You almost feel a little unsteady on your feet as Hoseok's touch finally leaves you. You flash him another feeble smile as you try not to hurry too quickly out of the kitchen, your hand moving from your gifted necklace to your chest. 
Did your heart just race because Hoseok touched you – because he kissed you? 
You halt in the hallway, in the one blind spot the cabin offers from the common room. Taking deep breaths to collect yourself, you will your heart to slow down. This is what you wanted, what you accepted would happen when you decided to give up, and yet, you can't help but feel a little betrayed by your own body. 
It's only been a little over a month.
Just how badly is your soul craving them that you're able to give in so easily, so quickly? 
"Y/n, darling, I saved you a spot next to me!"
You startle as Namjoon calls out to you, your thoughts slipping away at the sound of his voice.
"Not fair hyung, I saved her a spot too," Jungkook's pout is audible from your hiding spot.
Squaring your shoulders, you push down on the unease that seems to have made itself at home in your bones. After all, isn't this what you wanted; for things to be easier? Why are you still trying to fight it when you know nothing good will come of it?
"Just let it be," You mutter, defeated.
The smile you plaster on as you walk into the common room comes a little easier than before, doesn't feel as fake as it used to. You let yourself be pulled down on the couch between Jungkook and Seokjin, allowing them to fawn over you to their heart's desire. 
You don't let yourself linger on the worrying thought that the constant attention is starting to feel nice, for very long.
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"Is it too scary for you?" 
You startle at the hushed whisper that brushes against your ear just as the heroine screams on screen. Turning your head to look at Seokjin, you find wide eyes staring back at you, his skin paler than normal. He flinches as another shrill yell comes from the TV, his already tight grip around your right hand only growing stronger.
"I'm okay," You murmur back, giving his fingers a light squeeze. 
Seokjin visibly deflates at that, his uneasy gaze flickering back to the movie. You clear your throat to tamper down the laugh that wants to bubble up, finding Seokjin's false bravado a little cute. It's clear as day that he's terrified of the scary movie Jungkook chose for your movie night – even without the death grip he has around your hand. You've been feeling Seokjin flinch and cower at every loud sound so far, his body somehow halfway hidden between you and the couch. Still, it seems he doesn't want to admit that it frightens him when the rest of the boys hardly seem fazed by what's playing out in front of them. 
"I'm a little thirsty though, do you think you could get me something from the kitchen?" You ask lowly, mindful not to disturb the others.
Seokjin's eyes snap back to you, relief flooding his features at the easy out, "Yes! I'll be right back." He doesn't waste another second before he practically leaps from the couch, the lights turning on as he hurries to the safety of the kitchen.
You flex your fingers with a small wince, skin tingling as blood is finally able to rush back into them. You glance around the room as you wait for the feeling in your hand to fully return, noting how absorbed the rest of the guys look. Jungkook's hold around your left hand has gone slack, his attention fully on the movie. Namjoon, Hoseok and Taehyung are pressed together on the other couch, a big bowl of popcorn half-devoured between the three of them.
The cookies you 'helped' Hoseok make earlier are almost gone, only a few of them left despite the double batch he cooked up. You quickly reach out to snatch up another one before the rest disappears, your gaze slipping over to Yoongi as you lean back on the couch. He's curled up on one of the chairs nearby, his eyes closing every so often despite the loud bangs and screams that fill the room. 
The sight of Yoongi nodding off with his cheek squished in his palm is stupidly endearing, so you end up stuffing the cookie into your mouth to keep your smile at bay. You chew slowly, enjoying the slight crunch from the crispy exterior of the cookie and how the soft insides somehow manage to melt in your mouth at the same time. It's honestly a little unfair just how good it is.
As you swallow the last bite, you glance around the room, confused, realizing Jimin is nowhere to be seen. The previously occupied chair next to Yoongi is now vacant and he isn't sprawled out on the floor anywhere either. 
Just as the thought strikes you, you feel the back of the couch dip, a figure gracefully jumping over the backrest to settle into Seokjin's spot. The sudden appearance startles you so badly that you let out a shocked noise, your hand covering your racing heart as Jimin makes himself comfortable. You have no idea how he managed to get to the back of the couch undetected or even why he decided to sneak around, but you've learned over the past month that there's no use questioning Jimin's antics. He simply just does whatever he feels like, when he feels like it. 
"Sorry," Jimin grins as he leans closer, not looking very sorry at all. "If I made it too obvious that I was stealing Seokjin hyung's spot, the others would fight me for it." 
You can't help the way you instinctively tense up as Jimin draws closer, some hesitancy still lingering after that night he caused you to explode. It has gotten easier over the past month to be near him, the constant forced proximity hasn't given you much of a choice but to grow closer to them. But Jimin has, surprisingly, been putting in some effort to make being around him a little more tolerable too. He's toned down his vulgar flirting and he no longer hovers and glares at you with suspicion whenever you interact with any of the others. It's still not great, but it is better. 
Jimin's smile falters as you grow stiff. He lets out a small sigh as he decides to show you mercy and turn his attention to the TV instead of you, throwing his arm over the back of the couch. It isn't until you've gradually begun to relax again, preoccupied with watching the movie, that you lean back into the cushions, feeling Jimin's fingertips brush over your shoulder the moment you do. The touch is light and fleeting, barely even there, as he tests the waters of what you'll allow. 
It's clearly an invitation for you to lean into his embrace but he doesn't push you to do it, doesn't force you like he would have a month ago. You think this must be Jimin's attempt at making amends – of him offering to do things at your pace instead of his. 
He tentatively curls his hand around your shoulder when you don't pull away, fingers almost floating over your skin with how hard he's trying to not be overbearing. 
If Jimin is putting in this much effort, shouldn't you be too? It'll only make things more painless. 
Between one deep breath and the next, it almost feels like your mind blanks as you shuffle closer to Jimin, letting him tug you to his chest as his arm drops to your shoulder. He preens with satisfaction that you're allowing him to touch you, chest puffing as he presses a quick kiss to your forehead. 
"Hyung," Jungkook whines from your left as you're pulled further away. His grip tightens around your hand, refusing to let go as he moves after you on the couch. He presses himself flush against your side, huffing as he pulls your hand back into his lap. 
"Jungkookie," Jimin glances at him over your head, whispering out an amused, "Why are you holding on to Y/n so tightly, hm? You're not even scared."
Jungkook pouts in the return. "So what? I'm holding Y/n's hand in case she gets scared. I'm just being thoughtful." 
Jimin snorts. He raises his hand from your shoulder to ruffle the back of Jungkook's hair, messing up his locks. Jungkook grumbles under his breath at the action but doesn't move to push him away, his head lolling comfortably back into Jimin's touch. 
You smile at the cute moment, heart lurching at the ease and content air they have about them whenever they're interacting. They, along with the rest, are such good friends – made for each other, almost – that you often find yourself wondering if your bond is a fluke, if they were actually supposed to be soulmates without you. The theory doesn't feel too far-fetched, not when you see them interact like they're puzzle pieces falling into place, perfectly fitting together.
It only makes you miss Heejun and Jaemin more.
Biting your lip, you turn back to the TV, just in time to watch the heroine escape the house she's been trapped in for the past two hours. The monster she's been running from is left behind, roaring and pacing behind the windows as she runs into the rising sun. Your stomach feels heavy as a hopeful smile spreads on her lips, the horror she's faced almost forgotten as she moves closer and closer to her rescue. 
Your breath gets caught in your throat as the camera pans back to the abandoned house before it fades to black, eyes shaking as it hits you that you haven't even thought about leaving the cabin for the last few days. It used to always linger in the back of your mind, squeezing your heart whenever you looked out the window and saw the freedom that was so close, yet so far away. But you can't recall a single moment lately where that was even a fleeting thought. Has being around them constantly really strengthened the bond that much, enough that you no longer feel the urge to leave? 
You slump into Jimin's embrace, ears ringing as the others begin to stretch and stand up. 
With each passing day, it's becoming worryingly easy to just sink into their arms and forget everything you tried to escape from in the first place. Has running away not crossed your mind just because it's been easier to not dwell on a future that's slipping further out of your reach – or, perhaps even more frighteningly, is it because you simply just don't want to anymore? 
You stare blankly at Jungkook as he tries to whisk you away to his room for the night, gut churning as your mind runs circles around you. There is one question you can't shake, one you don't have a proper answer for;
Do you want to stay? 
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a/n: please leave a comment and reblog if you enjoyed the chapter -it means the world to me and makes writing all that much more fun! 💖
dun-dun.... it seems like our poor mc is really struggling with her soulbond :( what do we think about the different scenes of her hanging out with the boys? of her realizing she might actually want to stay with them? i'd love to hear your thoughts!!
(it seems like some of you are a little upset that the mc isn't fighting back more, but please keep in mind that this story was never supposed to be this long and y'all voted for smut, so girlie needs to at least like them before that happens lol)
see you again in two weeks for the next update on november 10th!
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angelshimaa · 4 months
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@flying-lamb :: I would like to request shinso with prompt 8 from the under the mistletoe prompt list. congrats on your milestone! <3 thank you so much <3
a/n :: hi darling !! thank you so much for entering (and i loved the details you sent in omg !) and i hope this makes you smile :) gn!reader, a little awkward at the beginning, fluff
event.
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you've never regretted where you've stood so deeply before.
then again, it wasn't really your fault. kaminari and ashido had gone overboard with the mistletoe placings— their way of bringing romance into the holiday spirit— and it was inevitable that someone would find themselves under some with another person.
it just had to be you and him, didn't it?
you and shinso are looking at each other, nervousness rising in your chest at your sudden predicament. it's not that you don't want to kiss him— heavens know how badly you've been wanting it— but not like this.
not when the eyes of your friends burn into the two of you like lasers (thanks to kaminari pointing the two of you out), making this feel more nerve-wracking than it needed to be.
“do you want to?” shinso’s voice is lowered, ensuring that only you can hear him. he’s known you long enough to understand the nerves you have based on how you look at him. “you can say no.”
you utter your consent so nobody else can hear, your posture as rigid as a deer caught in headlights. shinso doesn't like the abruptness of this, the nerves bubbling in his stomach or the intensity of everyone watching, but he can't deny he's wanted to kiss you for so long.
the two of you don't even manage that— your noses bump into each other and the embarrassment shoots through you at the speed of light. it's hard to even look at him properly, settling to lower your eyes to the ground, imagining it opening up to swallow you whole.
shinso tells kaminari there's nothing to be seen here, indirectly informing your audience too. thankfully, it comes off casual, not sounding as awkward as your almost kiss felt to you.
when everyone focuses on whatever they had their eyes on before, you recover as best as you can, trying to force your embarrassment to the back of your mind. you're thankful shinso doesn't make a big deal out of it, and you find that you manage to recover quick enough to enjoy the rest of the party.
— ✧ —
“you make some good coffee,” shinso holds onto his cup, his fingers curling around it so as to absorb as much heat as possible. it's really not needed; your home is the perfect toasty protection from the crisp cold you endured on the walk here from the party. “can’t believe you'd hide that from me.”
you take a sip of your own beverage and grin against your cup. “maybe you should come by more often then, you addict.” nobody drank coffee quite like shinso. you've watched him inhale it like oxygen he's been deprived of— it disappears like he’s performing a magic trick.
“don’t tempt me, i just might.” his lazy grin spreads across his face and oh does it look so good on him. you think it's rather unfair how well he pulls off his eyebags and messy hair— he's not even trying.
“i’m counting on it.”
the silence swells and you trail back to the awkwardness that took place a few hours ago; you want to kick yourself for not tilting your head the other way. had you done exactly that, you'd be a kissed person now— kissed by the guy you've been crushing on for a while.
“listen, y/n—” he clears his throat, setting his coffee down onto the table. “i feel like i should apologise for... earlier. i didn't mean to make it all awkward.”
you laugh lightly, setting your own cup to direct all your attention onto him. you lock eyes with him, realising that actually, you'd give him your attention anytime he asked.
“no need to apologise, hitoshi. if anything, i wasn't really... present much. i was a little frozen in place— so many eyes can do that to a person.”
a beat passes and all you do is look at each other while shinso thinks of what to say next.
“so, it wasn't that you didn't want me to kiss you?” he's found his next sentence and it tumbles out of him with ease. his eyes look alluring, inviting even, and you can never get over the feeling they settle into you. you haven't called it by it’s name aloud, but you don't need to.
“hmm,” you pretend to think about it, tapping your finger against your chin. “i don't think so, no.” you hope this is going in the direction you think it is, that he's picking up whatever hint you think you're dropping.
“so, would i be right in guessing that you’d like to try again?” it's a carefully chosen suggestion, uttered with a lower, slightly hesitant voice. shinso feels as though he might be pressing, but surely if he was and if you minded, you'd let him know.
“maybe if you ask nicely.” the way your slow grin spreads across your lips after your words has his eyes widening slightly, erasing any worries he had previously. you want him to want you. you want him to ask for you.
“making me work for it, hm?” shinso returns your grin with that lazy one that sends you loopy whenever you find yourself thinking about it. taking your bait and running with it, he leans in closer to you. “alright.”
you've never seen a lovelier colour than the purple of his irises. “could i try to kiss you again, beautiful?” those eyes, framed by his eyebags, could melt anything they land on, and you were currently their main focus. he's hooked on the way everything else seems to slow around him, hooked on that gentle smile of yours.
“i don't see why not.”
it's all shinso needs before he comes in even closer, breathing in slightly before pressing his lips against yours. you instantly melt into the feel of him, trying to focus on the rhythm and not his hand coming up to rest on your lower thigh, finding a home against it.
you note the faint taste of coffee and the softness of his lips while your hand brushes up his neck to cup his face, not knowing how every inch of skin you touch feels warmer when you leave it behind.
your hearts are left thumping hard when you pull away, lungs taking in air throughout your shallow breathing. you look even more magical to him than you ever have, a feat he didn't think was even possible.
“that was much, much better.” he lets out a breathy chuckle and it only provides the butterflies fluttering in your stomach with more energy.
you smile, nodding a little. “way better. maybe third time's the charm—”
shinso’s kissing you again, and it's everything you both hoped it would be. it's private and so perfect that way, like a little joy you both keep for yourselves. his mouth on yours feels so right, and you don't think either of you will be leaving this couch anytime soon.
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✧ — thank you for reading !! rbs and feedback are greatly appreciated <3
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where you go, i go (2)
TEEN!gojo x FEM!reader (soulmate AU)
TW⚠️: angst, toji being toji, reader thinks about killing someone, gojo is in his tweaked out enlightenment era soooooo gojo a little creepy and eerie
Part 2 of what you see, i see
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She had been going through the motions for the rest of the day, she hadn't even bothered to stop by her school clubs, until she arrived home. A sickly sweet scent of pastries attacked her senses the second she entered. Her house doubled as a bakery for the first floor. It was a popular hang out place for people her age especially for couples. There was a parade of them this time - cheerful couples were already sharing their coffees and sugary pastries.
The universe was laughing at her. It had to be. Why else would there be so many happy couples in the store right now? It was pointing and laughing hysterically on the ground saying: "That's what you get for ignoring me! That's what you get for resenting my gift to you!" Because that's what a soulmate was, a gift. A rare and wonderful gift that no one believed in, except for those who have experienced it themselves, and she had lost it; lost him.
She almost cried on the spot.
Her mother waved gleefully from behind the register, her daughter seldom returned it as she went up the stairs. She dropped her school bag in her room besides her desk and, face first, flopped on her bed.
She closed her eyes. Nothing, there was nothing.
Her lip quivered as tears began to sting her eyes, but she couldn't cry. Not when her mother was expecting her to change and put on an apron and help as she always did after school. She could silently mourn him tonight.
She let out a shaky breath. Did she even have the right to mourn him? She had never met him or talked to him. Everytime she thought of him recently was only to insult him or dismiss him entirely. No, she did not have the right to mourn him and she deserved to feel empty on the inside.
She put on a clean apron and slugged her way down stairs with a smile as she took over her mother's place at the register. Her mom kissed the top of her head and beamed at her with a thumbs up.
She never understood why so many people hated working retail, but now, she did. She had to force a smile and treat every customer kindly, all the while, she was dying on the inside.
A man had come in. Tall and insanely buff, a scar on his mouth. He ordered the cheapest pastry on the menu and handed her a wadded up yen. Her blood turned cold when their fingers brushed.
Her mother quickly took the money away from her as she gave her a quick command to check on the oven in the back.
She swallowed and listened to her mom. Her steps were quick as she pushed the double doors that led to the kitchen, she hugged herself.
It was him. It had to be him. That was the man who killed Gojo Satoru. She reached for a knife and gripped it tight. She should kill him. Her soulmate was dead and he was the reason why. She should try and avenge him.
Sheshouldsheshouldsheshouldsheshould-
The oven blared next to her. Her head snapped to it as the knife clattered on the ground, and with shaky mitted hands she opened the oven, and took out the fresh pastries.
Those were dangerous thoughts; thoughts she never thought she would ever have against anyone. She took off the oven mitts and looked outside the circle window of the kitchen - he was leaving and her mother was watching him like a hawk, even when the bell rang sharply with a muffin in his mouth as he walked outside with the rest of the crowd. She didn't know what possessed her to run after him, but she did. Maybe, all she wanted to know was why he had killed Gojo Satoru. Maybe, she wanted this man to kill her too, so she wouldn't feel empty inside anymore.
A blur of a conversation as the words tumbled out of her mouth: "Why? Why did you kill Satoru?"
She didn't register anything other than his gruff voice, "Ah, he had a soulmate. If I were you I'd keep that information to yourself from now on." Uninterestedly, he continued, "You wouldn't want the Gojo clan to know about you. No doubt, they'll try to marry you off to another member of the clan." and then, kept walking.
She didn't hear the interest in his voice when he said to himself, "But she would be worth a lot of money if I did take her to them." He would negotiate a price first to see if he was right about her being worth any money. He would worry about that later, right now, he had a star plasma vessel to turn in.
A sharp tug on her arm is all that stopped her from running after him again.
"______! What were you thinking?" her mother gritted out as she led her back into the bakery. Her mother's voice is strict and unwavering, "Go to your room."
And she did.
She tossed the apron on her desk and kicked her school bag. How was she supposed to live like this with the rest of her entire life half-full?
A sob violently escaped her.
This was how everyone else in the world lived, she realized.
Aching and alone.
Desperate and searching.
Wanted and unwanted.
Now, she was just like everyone else like she had always wanted. She supposed, she couldn't complain.
She laid in bed, wrapped herself in a blanket - trying to keep warm, but she doubted, she'd ever feel warm again as she cried herself to sleep.
She dreamt about Satoru. Flashes of a long chain, of red, of purple, of blood, of a crowd clapping, of someone wrapped in a white sheet, of a long dark hallway.
The universe was laughing at her again. Why else would it give her dreams about him?
An uneasiness settled into her bones. Someone was watching her. The grim reaper, no doubt wearing the face of her soulmate's assassin. If death wanted her, so be it.
She kept her eyes closed.
She saw herself sleeping soundly in death's gaze. She saw the time pass through her window changing from sundown to night as death continued to watch her intently.
Hours had passed.
00:57:39
She wondered at what specific time the grim reaper would take her.
1:13:01
Did it want her to open her eyes?
1:13:10
Probably.
1:13:15
The grim reaper has been patiently waiting for her.
1:13:17
Why keep death waiting then?
1:13:20
Her eyes fluttered open.
Beautiful, vibrant cerulean blue.
It was not death. It was -
"Satoru," she whispered.
"______," he whispered back.
Satoru was sitting down on the floor extremely close to her bed with his legs crossed while his hands rested neatly on his ankles. There was dry blood on his face and on his white dress shirt.
Her mouth moved but no sound came.
"You were crying," he said as he caressed her cheek soothing his thumb along the trail of stained lines that her dried tears had left, "alot."
So, he had seen everything.
She put her hand over his and gently rubbed circles.
Satoru scooted closer to her bed, "I didn't like seeing you cry," his hand trailed up to her scalp, "or frown," and gently ran his fingers through her hair.
He laid his head down on her bed and stared at her with those vibrant, sparkling eyes; eyes that could see everything she could never see.
She touched his cheek gently, "I didn't like not feeling you."
Her whole body shivered. Satoru was here, in front of her, and she was still cold.
"Are you still cold?"
She nodded.
Never letting go of her, he kicked off his shoes and climbed under the blanket with her. He wrapped his legs around hers as her arms wrapped under his uniform jacket.
With his hand still tangled in her hair, he said, "Better?"
His heartbeat had returned to her. They were beating in unison again.
"Better," she hummed. "You?" She asked.
His lips pressed softly on her forehead, "Much better." He tugged her in closer into his chest.
She smiled.
She was warm again.
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@whatamidoing89 @mr-underhills-things
Part 1: what you see, i see
Part 3: you know i adore you
Part 4: i'm crazier for you
Part 5: baby, you're the life of the party
Part 6: something's made your eyes go cold
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alexwritingspot · 4 months
Text
Leo Valdez x reader
request from @beeeezmelmel for a Leo Valdez x reader
prompt 10: “I can’t sleep”
words count: 1.4k
pairing: Leo Valdez x g!n reader
A night time walk to bunker 9 leads you and your best friend, Leo Valdez, to a confession of your true feelings. Could this friendship become something more?
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A/n: hi darling and thank you for requesting! I honestly had so much fun writing this one cause Leo is one of my comfort character! And I find it a really realistic thing that (I wrote the thing with the reader saying the prompt’s sentence) you would definitely find Leo awake at every hour of the night. I wrote this as an eventual friends to lovers, enjoy! 🧡 Also, I’m slowly catching up on all my requests, school is going to start soon and I have lot of test and such for the end of the period, so hope no one is disappointed if I don’t answer their requests really fast, sorry again!
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Loud thunders echoing through the night had woken you up before your nightmare could. Not like your rest had been the easiest, but surely things were getting better after the war with Gaea.
You jolted up straight in the bed, catching your breath while your eyes adjusted to the dime light coming from outside. It was dark and nothing other than the moon was there to lighten up your vision. Luckily enough you hadn’t woken up any of your siblings, you already knew they would have asked too many questions about how you were feeling.
So you decided that maybe taking a breather outside would have been a good solution to calm down your mind from the recurring nightmare that plagued your sleeps. You tiptoed out of bed, almost tripping in the blankets. Careful to not make any noise you slipped on a pair of sneakers, without tying up the laces, of course, and you made your way outside of the g/p cabin.
Chilly air hit your skin as you exited from the door. Gods, now you were even shivering from the cold. You let out a soft sigh before starting to walk, making sure to go unnoticed by the harpies that flew in the sky at night, you surely didn’t want to face Mr. D’s punishments.
You didn’t really know where to go. Well, you did knew who would have been able to cheer you up, but you weren’t sure if he was still awake, or if he would have cared about your stupid nightmares. You decided nonetheless to give it a try, and as you hugged yourself tighter to shield yourself from the cold, one step after the other you started to make your way to bunker 9.
Why bunker 9? Because you were confident that if he was still up, which you suspected, then he would have been surely working on some project of his in the old bunker.
Between the wind blowing the leaves on trees, and the far sound of the thunderstorm outside of camp’s borders, you quietly made your way to the hidden building in the middle of the night.
As you arrived you silently entered through the main entrance, finding yourself in a lot more hot environment, that immediately warmed you up.
Just a little bit further there was him. Sitting at one of the many tables there was Leo, who was working on some gadget of his. Beside him there was Festus, who was laying comfortably on the ground. He was the first to spot you.
You honestly would have just stayed there at the entrance, just enjoying the scene playing in front of your eyes, but the mechanical dragon had other plans.
“Come on, why won’t you work??” Leo asked to the thing he was working on, and Festus tried to get his attention by gently blowing some air onto the boy. “Not now buddy, I’m busy, can’t you see?” Answered Leo, clearly trying to find out a solution.
So this time Festus actually nudged him to get his attention. When the child of Hephaestus still ignored him, the mechanical dragon insisted slightly more, getting Leo to finally pay him attention. “What is it, huh?” He asked as he patted the dragon’s head.
Festus brushed him off, and pointed in your direction.
You could have sworn you froze in place in that moment, completely caught off guard on what to do. “Hey…” You meekly said, the room didn’t seem as hot as before.
Leo’s eyes widened when he saw you “Y/n? Are you okay? Something happened?” He gently asked as he got up and approached you. “Y-yeah, I’m good, I just… I happened to pass by… yep…” Why did you have to say the first thing that crossed your mind?? You were pretty sure that you were a blushing mess by now.
If Leo noticed he didn’t point it out. “Passing by? In the middle of the night? Let me tell you, that would be strange even for me.” He joked, trying to lighten up the mood at least a bit. “Holy Hephaestus, y/n you’re shivering!” He then noticed, and before you could find another good enough excuse he pulled you by the wrist and made you sit on the only couch of the bunker.
“You want to see what I was working on?” He then asked you with his signature smirk as he lighted up some candles that he had laying around. You doubted those would have kept you warm, but you appreciated the gesture.
“Sure thing.” You nodded. This was the thing with Leo. He understood when you didn’t want to talk about something, and he didn’t pressure it. He’d just let you be, and if you wanted you could talk about it.
He moved to the table and picked up the thing he was working on “This buddy over here won’t let me adjust him” he said frowning as he tried once again to adjust it. You chuckled, Leo was able to ease your worries in an instant.
He plopped himself besides you and showed you the small gadget. You passed a hand over it. “What is this supposed to do?” You asked him with curiosity and he started explaining. “Well you see, I projected him because I thought it was a good idea for…” as he talked you totally zoned out, simply staring at him as he talked.
You blamed it on your ADHD, but in reality you had the biggest crush on the guy since he had arrived at camp.
“And so, even if I figured out what doesn’t work I can’t seem to adjust it” he concluded and snapped back to reality. Shit, you had missed the whole explanation.
“That sounds interesting” You simply commented as he put down the small thing and scooped closer to you. “Yeah, until you don’t have to work on it” he said with a smile.
You stayed like that for a bit, embraced by the comfortable silence until you spoke up. “How come you are still awake?” You asked him, tilting your head to be able to look him in the eyes. “I can’t sleep” he answered you truthfully. “What about you?” He the quickly added “If you want to tell me of course”
You let out a sigh “I just… I have this nightmare that has been plaguing my sleep since the war with Gaea and I needed some comfort. I didn’t want to wake my siblings up and… I assumed you would have been awake, and I came here” you concluded, looking down at your hands, unsure of what he would say next.
Instead of the negative reaction you had expected on his face appeared the biggest smirk “So you thought of me to feel safe?~” he was so smudgy about it. You just chuckled “Yeah… you could put it like that.” He smiled “Well then, I’m glad” He wrapped an arm around you “I’m here for you if you need me, that is what… friends… are for, right?” If you hadn’t been so busy feeling defeated after he had defined the two of you ‘just friends’ you would have noticed the doubt in his voice.
“Yeah… friends, you’re right” you looked away, the until now comfortable silence had quickly evolved in an uncomfortable one.
“Actually…” he moved your face gently with his hand, making sure you were looking at him “You know what y/n? I just cannot keep going on like this… I’m not really good with words, but I… I uh… I appreciate your presence and just… I found you really pretty and funny but I don’t wanna be your friend anymore” You just sat there, completely shocked. So, he didn’t care after all.
He saw your hurt look and started talking again “Wait! That didn’t come out right! I didn’t mean to say that we aren’t friends! For Hephaestus’s sake, I’m such a mess with words” He shook his head chuckling, and at that point you were terribly confused. What did he mean then?
“I just… I like you y/n. And not like- I don’t just like you. I like like you, as in more than friends and I know that you probably don’t reciprocate and this will ruin our friendship but I couldn’t just hide this anymore and-“ he was talking a bit too much for your likings.
You crushed your lips on his and expressed with that gesture all the emotions that neither of you knew how to express…
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a/n: GODS, I panicked so bad, I had accidentally pressed “publish” while writing! Anyway, happy New year to all my followers, and thanks for reading! 🧡
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cyberghu0l · 3 months
Text
Rekindle
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you meet an unexpected face at camp halfblood. but not only is there beef between you two, there's an unrequited romance. or so you thought.
clarisse la rue × daughter of Psyche!reader
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you met clarisse only once. it was quite stupid, actually, and you can't even remember how you forgot about her till this point. you were a freshman in highschool, starting the year at a brand new school in Arizona. the dreaded state your father made you move you to when he got a new job. you were stuck at this small, smelly, and really ugly highschool for the next 4 years. then came her. you had only ever had one interaction with her.
it was what some would say to be a cliché. some boy had invited you to his house for a party. he said it was gonna be "chill" and "small," it was anything but that. it came time for spin the bottle. everyone was so excited, while you were scared out of your mind because you haven't had your first kiss yet. your turn came around, and low and beyond, it landed on clarisse. she only smiled sheepishly and leaned forward.
you had watched many movies where they made it look easy, but it all came down to this. your lips collided and moved in sync. you would be lying if you said you were bummed when she pulled away after a minute or two. the same smile remained on her plump lips. you hadn't realized you were smiling so hard until someone pointed it out.
the next day, she wasn't at school. neither the day after that nor that week. it only got worse after she left. rumors spread like wildfire that she got sent away to some camp. after that you didn't know if you would ever see her again.
that was until your junior of highschool when you were driving back home from the beach after a bonfire with your friends, when something appeared in front of your car. you couldn't explain it, except for it being a huge, bat lady. she had ripped off your metal roof and overthrown your car. you took off running in the dark, cold woods.
you set course on a trail that ended at a hill. you wanted nothing but to stop and put your aching muscles to rest, yet something in you told you to continue up the hill as the bat lady chased you through the trees. you stopped at the long arch that you could barely read in the dark of the night. it didn't take along for the creature's screeches to alert someone. a girl with a sword came running out under the arch. she jumped onto a rock and into the sky just high enough to slice through her. a war cry escaping her throat.
she landed on the ground as the bat lady descended into dust. you felt your heart begin to pound like a running engine in your chest, your eye sight blacken, and your head a daze. you passed out.
it had been a couple of months since your arrival to Camp Half-Blood. a couple of months since you found out you were a demigod. and your mother was Psyche, the beautiful goddess of the soul. it didn't take long for you to find your strengths, one being combat. you were a natural with a sword and shield. but so was clarisse.
it didn't click in your head who she was until you saw her smile. gods, her smile. it made any sunny day brighter, it made your worries melt away like ice cream, and you felt blessed to see it again. her laugh was like music straight from the angels. you couldn't understand how having such a father like Ares and be so angelic.
you would do anything to talk to her again, only problem is. she hates your guts. she hated anyone who wasn't her own siblings, and even they got the worst treatment. you tried pairing with her during combat training, but she rudely declined. (which you didn't even know you could do) there was once when you did successfully paired with her. it ended with you on the ground and her pointing her sword at your throat. your chest heaved, trying to catch your breath. the green lawn now decorated with droplets of your crimson blood.
clarisse looked down at you as if you were garbage. you would never forget that look.
"clarisse!" chiron's voice echoed through the whole camp. everyone froze. clarisse turned to look at the fences where he stood. disappointment plastered all over his face. she put her sword back in her carrier and walked over to him. you saw them leave before you fell on your back, laughing.
you had to admit, you were scared for your life, but sparring with clarisse was something you'd never forget.
after her talk with chiron, the days following were awfully weird. her slight shoves as you walked past her, turned into her moving out your way. she let you skip the line at dinner with a slight hue of pink on her face. sparring with her became less graphic and often ended with her helping you up and smiling at you.
"you're getting better, y/n. still can't match me, but better." she smiled.
"i will some day la rue." you always responded.
her siblings still picked on you. but she was there every now and then to back you up.
"why are you letting this punk off, clarisse?" one asked.
"are you questioning me right now? do i have to remind you of who's the oldest?" she replied, balling his collar in her fist looking down at him.
"n-no, im sorry."
you weren't stupid, though. your mother blessed you with the art of reading anyone like a book. she was finally warming up to you, but you weren't sure if she remembered you like you did her. the curiosity ate away at you like mold on food.
one night, you were braiding your little sister's hair for dinner when clarisse walked in.
"everyone out, now!" she demanded. she looked at you as everyone cleared out the cabin. you were left on your bed. she closed both doors.
"why are you here, clarisse?" you said as you got up and put away the ribbon you were supposed to use in your sister's hair.
"i needed to talk to you. alone." you turned and watched her inch her way to you.
you stood at your desk, leaning on it slightly with your arms folded across your chest. truth is, you were so nervous your palms started to sweat for the first time in your life.
"you know me." she began. "not well, but you can say that. where is this going?" You questioned.
"no, you know me. and ive known you." she looked at you like she knew something you didn't. a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.
"Arizona." was all she said, and you were taken back to your first year of highschool.
"listen, clarisse." you tried to explain yourself. "i didn't say anything because i didn't know how you'd react. knowing some the kids here, they would rather forget their old lives." you spoke.
"well im not some kids, y/n. and as embarrassing as it is to admit. ive never forgotten you." you swore you saw a shade of pink run across her face. she still looked at you intently. "thats why i saved you that night. i recognized you the second i saw you."
"are gonna stop being an ass to me now?" you asked with a slight smirk. she laughed. gods, you swore your knees became jelly.
"that depends. you gonna make me your girlfriend or what?" your stomach churned.
"oh, come on! it wasn't that unnoticeable. i can't be anymore obvious." she said the last part even quieter than the first part of her sentence.
"gods, you can not be the daughter of Ares." you laughed. she rolled her eyes and came up to you, closing the space between you two. her gentle hands caressed each side of your face. she had the same twinkle as she did 3 years ago at the party. she leaned into you, planting a sweet kiss on your lips.
it was as if she didn't have to speak to tell you she missed you.
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sandinthemachine · 1 year
Text
Mortal Remains
König x f!reader
written for the request: "You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn't have to go to such extremes." With Either ghost or König? There's not enough fluff for my men.
I don't even know where to begin with this one. It's massive, the longest one I've ever written. I love it, and I hate it. It made me cry. I'm excited and terrified to see what everyone else thinks. I hope someone reading this feels at least one of those emotions while doing so (preferably not hate)
before I begin, thank you to @sprout-fics and @zwienzixes for being lovely beta readers, and a MASSIVE thank you to @itsagrimm for beta-reading, helping me work through ideas, giving me proper German translations, and all around being an amazing and supportive person. I would have given up on this without all the help.
Translations for the German will be at the bottom
Words: 12,450 (yeah...it's big just like him)
Warnings/tags: König is soft and pretends not to be, reader is afab but no pronouns used, canon-typical violence, piv sex, oral f!receiving, self-deprecation, lots of raw emotions, mental health is hard, fluffy ending
---
It started easy enough, as so many things do.
A week-long joint training exercise. Mixed teams, both 141 and KorTac. Something something bonding before the real mission. You hadn’t been listening.
You remember being excited to be teamed with Soap. At least you could get along with someone, you mused. You barely noticed the hooded figure, tall and sticking to the corners, merging with the lengthening shadows. What’s another ghost haunting your footsteps? Nothing special, that’s for sure.
The first four days fly by. Early morning patrols, always in pairs, tracking for signs of the other team. Finding nothing, you move to a different shelter, secure the area, sleep. Rinse, repeat.
The fifth day is different. There are ragged clouds cloaking the sun while the rest of the sky is completely clear. You’re not sure why you noticed that, but you did.
It was an early morning patrol, as usual, you and your partner sweeping around a centerpoint like you were analyzing a single massive clock. Northeast quadrant clear. Southeast clear. Southwest…a scuff in the dirt. You lean down, fingers tracing the air just above it, a black fleck catching your eye. You grasp it, finding it much larger than you originally expected and partially buried. You pull at the rubbery texture, curious. Distracted.
The ambush comes quietly. Perfectly so. The weight lands on your back with an abruptness that flattens your lungs, dropping you directly onto your hands. You might have twisted your wrist, but the pain of that is overshadowed by the thought of the immense beratement you’ll get from your NCO for failing so fast.
Yet the weight from your back is lifted as quietly as it arrived. You turn, rolling to your feet to find that it had been Gaz on top of you only a second ago. Now he dangles like a ragdoll in the air. The shadow holding him draws a knife, taps it against his throat. You're out.
Gaz sighs as he’s set on the ground, giving you a nod before marching off. You don’t return it, too busy staring at the man next to him.
You’d never noticed his eyes before. You’re used to Ghost’s eyes, dark and unyielding, cavernous black holes reaching into a skull long dead. Like he was born to wear the mask.
This man’s eyes couldn’t be more different. They’re pale, washed out, windows into a sky perpetually on the verge of snowfall, slumbering clouds cold and waiting.
They curve down at the corners, lending an air of melancholy to the only part of his face you can see. You wonder how he really feels behind that gaze.
You’re staring.
You clear your throat awkwardly, aiming to thank him before pausing. “I…I’m sorry, I never caught your callsign?”
The head dips down, draped fabric falling down his chest slightly. A nod. “We need to keep moving.”
And he’s walking past you.
-
Two days later, the training exercise finally comes to a head in a fierce brawl over the fake weapons cache. Knives and fists only.
The fight takes only a few minutes. Ghost on the opposite team notices your attempted ambush immediately, throwing his men after you. Your team is outnumbered, stuck in a hallway. But it doesn’t matter.
Ghost and the hooded man roll on the ground, tousling like a pair of tomcats, Ghost landing on top for just a second, raising his knife-
You’re there. Arm wrapped around his shoulders. Blade tapping against his throat. You’re out.
With that, the fight is over. Ghost moves with a grumble at the man under him. It might have been a threat. But the man doesn’t hear it. He’s too busy staring at you with grey-sky eyes wide. A child dressed as a dirty sheet-ghost. “I…I don’t know your-”
You thrust your hand out, yanking him to his feet. “We’d better head back.”
-
You feel him at your back throughout the debriefing. Rolling thunder clouds looming over your head, ready to burst at any second. Your tongue is between your teeth, lungs heaving. Soap whispers a joke in your ear, something about Ghost getting chewed out by the NCO. You can barely muster a smile.
You stay still as the meeting finally ends, waiting for everyone to filter out before you finally turn around.
As you turn, your shoulder knocks into hard muscle and you look up, craning your neck to take in the hooded face and the way his pupils are blown wide into dark pits. A gale you should take shelter from lest you be blown away. But for a moment all you do is stand there, watching your own pupils expand in the turbulent reflection.
Your teeth are carving marks into your tongue by now, and it takes you far too long to draw in a shaky breath and push past him. You have more training tomorrow. It’s sleep your body needs. Not…whatever this is.
He doesn’t say a word as you depart, but his eyes track your every move before the door shuts behind you.
-
Of course this is a night where you can’t sleep. Of course. You flip and roll, hearing your bed frame smack against the wall every time you shift until you get so annoyed you shove it further into your room and flop down on it again. It doesn’t do anything, of course. Just makes your insomnia a little quieter.
It’s nearly midnight by the time you throw your legs over the side in frustration, shivering at the frigid air before throwing on enough clothes to look decent and marching down towards the shared kitchen.
He’s there. Your luck is just perfect tonight. You take a step backwards, planning to flee back to the darkness of the hallway, but he’s already turning his head, shoulders jumping just slightly as you enter his view.
You crumple a little as he notices you, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. “Can’t sleep either, huh?” Your voice is rough as you walk over to the counter next to him, yanking an expired box of cereal from the back of it. Your arm brushes his as you pull it out.
You spare him a glance as you pry the old box open, snorting at his narrowed eyelids. You bet he’s scrunching his nose through that silly hood, too. You reach in, hearing a series of crunches as you rifle around. “Ah, there it is.” You pull out the clear bottle, shaking it triumphantly in his face. “This’ll knock you right out. 50/50 chance you get back up tomorrow.” You trail off, eyes traveling up and down him. “Well, maybe a bit better odds for you.” You chuckle half-heartedly, but it dies a second later.
You puff your lips out in a shaky breath, running your tongue along your teeth before giving him an awkward smile and raising the bottle to him. With that you leave.
-
As soon as you take a sip you spit it right back out with a blech. You’d forgotten how nasty the stuff is. You toss it into the trash can and flop back down with an irritated groan. How hard is it to fall asleep? It’s literally laying there doing no-
Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door, and upon swinging it open you find him, his looming shadow nearly blotting out the light from the hallway behind. It’s easy to forget how big he is when he’s not around. How strong he is. How…deadly.
But right now he’s leaning against your doorframe, hands tapping along his legs. “Have enough for two?”
You smirk a little at that, but as you step closer you feel the heat radiating from him, your shoulder blades clenching together as your mind begins to process something.
You’d sleep better for it. Perform better the next day. It would be good for you.
Your smirk deepens. “I have a better idea.”
As your hand tangles in his shirt you feel a tremble along his skin, but he doesn’t respond when you pull on him. “You’ve been drinking.”
“I haven’t had a drop. Shit’s disgusting.”
“Show me the bottle.”
Despite yourself, a smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you fish the full monstrosity out of the bin to show him. He nods but still doesn’t move, and you find yourself rushing to assure him as heat rushes up your neck. “If you actually just want to drink, we can. We don’t have to do anything-”
“No. That’s not it.” Finally he steps fully into the room, letting the door swing shut behind him before he stalks to you. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” you hiss, moving to hold onto him again, your mind swirling with exhaustion and old memories that you just need out, right now, and he’s right there and he needs it too, you just know it as he swoops down to grab you and toss you on the bed, both of you a mess to rip your clothes off now that the facade has finally fallen.
-
After the fog clears you find yourself panting on your stomach with him above you, caging you in with his forearms. Each of his stuttering inhales brings his burning chest and stomach against your back. Before the heat can become unbearable he pulls away, breaths still heaving as he tucks himself back into his pants.
Your eyes widen in surprise when he makes his way to your bathroom and comes back, washcloth in hand, to softly clean you up. As he finishes he pauses, thumb brushing the edge of an old knife scar running up your hip. “My callsign,” he murmurs, fingers tracing its length. “It’s König.”
And with that, he leaves.
-
You were content for that to be the end of it. You’d each gotten what you needed, after all. And as you stretch languidly across your mattress the following morning, an unfamiliar relaxation settles along your tense muscles. Yes, you would be more than happy to leave it at this.
But as the next training drill ends you find yourself faced with your cold barrack and the prospect of another sleepless night. Before you even realize what you’re doing your legs are moving, ready to go to the kitchen and-
He’s right there, startling as you nearly open your door into his face. He takes a step back, but you’re already holding your hand out and his eyes are burning into you as he takes it and lets you pull him in, lets you shut the door behind you before he’s lifting you with laughable ease and carrying you to bed.
-
You’re already burrowing your face into your pillow by the time he comes back to clean you up. This time his palm runs over a puckered mass on your thigh, a nasty burn scar from failing to dive for cover fast enough. It still hurts sometimes, but the pain is good. Reminds you not to be so careless again.
As you drift off completely to the feel of his warm hand taking in the old wound, you fail to notice the way his head has turned up, eyes running over your face. He contemplates brushing a finger over your hairline, tucking the wild flyaways behind your ear. But no. That would be too…friendly. That’s not what this is.
So instead he spreads your blankets over your now sleeping form, and with one last lingering gaze, leaves you to sleep peacefully.
-
You’re not surprised when you wake up to the empty room. It was what you wanted, after all. You had gotten another restful night out of it, and he got what he wanted. It was a fair trade. A great trade, even.
And as the training drills continue and you feel how naturally your body flows, how efficiently it executes your will when you’re actually well-rested, you find yourself seeking his company out more and more. Soon the pair of you have built your own kind of routine, him coming to you the evening after each debriefing when the leftover sparks of adrenaline are refusing to die out in you both.
He always lays you down on your stomach, opening you up with his fingers as he patiently works you through your first orgasm before letting himself take you. He’s always slow at first, but he finds you restless and impatient, urging him to go faster and harder, to knock you out for the night, to knock everything out of your mind that you never want to think about again.
You try to look back once only for your face to meet his hand. With gentle but firm fingers, he turns your head away.
Afterwards he’s even more delicate, wordlessly cleaning you up with a touch light enough to leave a butterfly unharmed. Although he rarely meets your eyes, his gaze and fingers take in your body, each time finding a new scar for his fingers to brush over like a chaste kiss.
You’re asleep by the time he leaves, and you like it that way. The two of you can crash against each other like blizzards raging and howling until you finally break into clear skies. And afterwards, you’re soldiers again. Well-rested, sure. But soldiers all the same. No hard feelings, either. You know he understands.
Soon you two find yourselves assigned to the same training team more and more. It’s natural, an unspoken communication flowing between you, and your superiors see it in the skyrocketing success rates. They pointedly ignore the way your stares burn holes into each other, keeping their eyes fixed on powerpoints and mission statistics. Not their business, they tell themselves. What matters is that you two do your jobs.
-
And then finally it’s time for the mission, a deployment in the middle of a remote and mountainous forest with terrible radio signal.
Like your first training, it starts easy enough. You’re divided into two teams on two separate mountains, and it’s just your luck that they put you on the team with no one you’re close to. Not even König. Maybe the higher-ups were finally sick of you two.
But you’re an adult. You handle it. You swallow the unease that comes with the teams not being able to contact each other. It’s simply too risky, and the signals are shoddy at best anyway. Base will come in for extraction if the other team succeeds.
With practiced ease you push yourself through two weeks of empty trails and summer-camp camaraderie as the talkative ones share jokes around the empty fireplace and the quiet ones listen from the shadows and chuckle their approval.
Week 3, everything goes to shit.
You should’ve known. You really should’ve known. The weather out here can change in an instant, clouds materializing from a clear sky’s empty expanse like an angry god throwing his rage down from above. You should’ve known the people here would be the same.
Before any of you knew the safehouse was surrounded, they were already through the doors.
You remember waking up to the creak of the old door with a groan, not ready to start your watch yet. The man on watch had been short and wiry, and you marveled at how shadows warp themselves against the light, twisting and turning to make one man look like another, tall and burly and carrying a-
CRASH!
The windows burst inwards in a crescendo of sparks and you’re scrambling backwards, reaching for your
BANG!
Dust from the roof is falling on your head, in your eyes and you’re blinking at the haze, the sting, your hands feeling the solid weight of your weapon and yanking it against you, and you’re stumbling backwards towards the
BANG!
and you’re stumbling forwards towards the
BANG!
And you’re on your knees crawling crawling
BANG! BANG BANG BANG!
crawling away from everything and your eardrums are hot iron seething in your skull and your eyes are being scratched by cats and there’s something warm on your face now and there’s something heavy thunking to the floor just next to you and everything is all dark, all the shadows are choking you and-
-grey. Not black. Not the black of the inside. Grey. A doorway. A hole in the wall. You’re on your knees, your hands are on the wall, you’re pushing yourself up, you’re running, and there are patters behind you and gurgling sounds and the volleys of automatic weaponry but your vision is finally starting to clear, you can see the treeline and all you need is to get there.
A roar surges behind you, and you spin into the sun. Heat slams into your body and you’re flung, a leaf in the wind, hard onto your back as yellows and reds surge in front of you or maybe it was behind you and now you’re a deer, eyeballs bulging out of your head and rolling in your skull as you run from a forest fire, angry and starving, only this fire has legs and they’re longer than yours and it’s following you, you just know it, you can’t hear it but you know.
You’re not a human anymore, you’re barely even an animal, you’re not thinking, you’re a scramble of limbs and an impulse. Run.
You try. You try so hard but there’s nothing carrying you, your legs don’t feel connected to each other anymore and they’re not even your legs you look down and they’re still there but you can’t…feel them?
Tilting. Tilting. Tilting.
Light. Burning light.
Fade to black.
No, wait. Not you. You’re still here. Your legs are wavy and jelly but still there.
You fling an arm out and feel something solid. Cold. Rough. Bark.
You made it to the trees.
There’s no time to celebrate. Behind you lights are still flaring, and with each passing second more bodies are falling to the ground, leaking out into the snow. You have to move.
-
The second safehouse is to the north. It’s your only way out, you know that. The rest of your team would be there.
Should be there.
Better be there.
Don’t think about it, don’t think. Just move.
-
The battle is fading behind you now and your blood is beginning to cool, settling heavy in your veins like the thick jam your mother used to make on warm summer mornings just as the sun’s rays flowed through your windows.
It would be nice to be there right now. Warm. Content. Full. Your stomach growls in agreement at the thought. You have some ration bars in your pocket, but you know it hasn’t been long enough to have one. You need to spread them out, make sure they can last.
Your stomach groans again, and you shake your head. To divert your attention, you take stock of the rest of your body.
You’re scraped and bruised, your head vibrating like…oh, what is it like? Like…your phone after you get added to a group chat you wanted nothing to do with. Hehe. You can barely remember the days when your problems were as simple as that.
You're letting yourself get too distracted. Anyways, as you were saying. You’re a bit battered and scraped up, alright. But no broken bones. No visible deadly wounds. And you still have your gun clamped to your chest with shaky arms. That’s all you need, really. Making it to the safehouse will be a breeze.
-
You’re halfway down the mountain as twilight begins to lighten to dawn, and there’s still no sign of anyone chasing you. It’s a bit warmer down here, and as you flex your fingers and toes you feel the sharp pins and needles radiate through them and force a smile. It’s good, you tell yourself. Means they’re all still there. You might just be in the clear now.
Then the sky darkens again, and it begins to rain.
Within a few minutes you can’t see your hand in front of your face in the downpour and you're forced to hide out. You find a fallen evergreen and burrow through its thick boughs, needles pricking your face and poking in your mouth with a sharp scent that settles behind your eyeballs as you force your way through, certain it will block out the worst of the rain. It doesn’t.
-
It’s past noon by the time the deluge finally lets up, and as you step out, cursing your shelter for all its faults, the slick earth shifts abruptly under you. With a cry, you are yanked off of your feet into a roll down the slope. You fling out your arms, grasping for anything solid, but the world is a mass of dirt and grey-brown snow-slush and you can’t stop yourself until your hip jams into a tree-stump. Hard.
You hiss, twisting your face upwards off the ground. Bad idea. The mud-slush runs down into your nose and you splutter, spasming and hacking up half the mountain. You move to wipe your eyes on your arm but only rub more dirt in them, gritting your teeth and hissing through them at the sting.
You push yourself onto your hands and knees with a whimper, gingerly feeling around your hip. Not broken. Just another bruise. What’s one more bruise? It’ll be fine.
You’ll be fine.
-
Your ankle is twisted. You’ve wrapped it as best as you can, but every time you put weight on it, you imagine a great big serpent with needles for scales is slithering under your skin, wrapping itself tight around the bones and squeezing.
Even worse, it's getting dark again. Fucking FUCK.
You should get yourself a thesaurus for Christmas. Fuck really doesn’t have much weight to it when you say it every other sentence.
Whatever. You’re fucking screwed.
Your clothes are soaked, you’re painted in dirt and runny snow and as soon as it gets dark temperatures are going to drop fast enough to freeze you right in place like a stupid fucking statue. Fuck this, fuck this so hard what do I do what do I do.
You bury your face into your hands, heels pressing hard into your eyes. It doesn’t matter that your hands have mud mittens anymore because your face is solid mud and you’ve had dark spots in your eyesight for hours and maybe if you rub them really hard this will all be a shitty dream your shitty brain made up and then you can wake up in your shitty cot with your blanket that’s too thin and it will be so fucking lumpy and uncomfortable and perfect. It would be perfect. Maybe König would be there.
What?
You’re breaking down and going to die in a few hours and you’re thinking of him? Some dude you fuck? What the hell is wrong with you?
He was really warm, though. And he was always so gentle afterwards. For hands that kill with such brutal precision, his fingers felt too delicate to be his when they ran along your body, mapping every scar and dimple like he was trying to memorize you. Like he was terrified that tomorrow he might wake up blind and never be able to see you again, so he needed to be able to recognize you by touch alone.
You didn’t even know what his face looked like, but you could get lost in those eyes, you think. You've learned that the skin above them stretches when he’s surprised, and the skin under them scrunches up when he laughs, so you think it must scrunch like that when he smiles, too. You’ve even seen the way his lids drift down to hide the way his eyes roll back when he’s bored.
What do they look like when he’s excited? When he’s angry? Sad?
You wonder what it would be like to look him in the eyes while you both fell apart. Would he look away and screw them shut? Would they water a little, as yours so often did?
Would he stay the night if you asked? Would he hold you? Would he…
No. This isn’t happening. No way in hell. You are not dying thinking of a random man you’ve barely spoken two words to. It’s ridiculous. It’s pathetic. You’re better than this.
You will not go out like this.
You yank yourself to a tree whose limbs burst forth in sprays of dark needles, your shoulders screaming at you as you pull yourself up on the branches, feeling like a toddler learning to walk for the first time. It’s pitiful. You swing your good leg up, grinding your teeth so hard your jaw pops as you pull yourself up to a thick fork and begin pulling down limbs above you, cutting through the ones around you, tying and weaving and undoing and redoing.
It is dark by the time you’ve finished, a thick nest of evergreen boughs settled under you and woven walls crushing you in. You have to curl into a tight ball to fit into it, but you can no longer feel the breezes from outside. You’ve stripped your clothes off and spread them along the walls as best you can, hoping they can dry just a little.
You thank the mud for clogging your nose. You don’t even want to imagine what you and your clothes must smell like by now.
Maybe by the time you meet up with the others you’ll smell so bad you’ll make one of the rookies vomit. Ghost did that last mission, and you and Soap nearly burst a lung as the poor guy emptied his guts over and over again.
You chuckle at that and try your best to fall asleep.
-
By the time you make it down the mountain the next day, your knees are knocking against each other with every step and your weapon is plastered with muddy slush that has frozen and melted and frozen all over again. The valley is even worse than the slope, with runoff from the rain congregating in a swampy mess that has you sinking up to your calves in some places. Lifting a leg in this feels like pulling yourself out of concrete, so you get really good at sliding each foot forward without raising it upwards at all.
You think the pressure from the mud is helping with the pain. You barely feel it when you move now.
Your jaw is clenched so hard you chip one of your molars.
-
You’re halfway through the valley when one of them finds you.
It’s funny how it happens. How you both stand in the mud staring at each other. How you both instinctively know who the other is through the curtain of earth camouflaging you both, yet each stand stock-still as statues anyway.
A second passes.
Two.
Three.
In an instant your guns are to your shoulders, fingers rushing to crush the-
Nothing happens. You squeeze. Squeeze again. The man shakes his gun and yells in frustration, the mud and ice having rendered your weapons unfireable.
But not unusable. The man’s head whips back to you with a growl and he lunges forward, his foot sinking into a deep patch and jerking him down face first. He throws himself up again, splatting forward another pace.
You slide backward, forcing yourself to slow down, to keep your feet under you as you move gut-wrenchingly slowly, searching for solid ground. He’s flailing and flinging himself towards you but the mud is slowing him down, and there’s a rocky patch right behind you. You’re going to make it.
He reaches you before you reach the edge, raising his gun and throwing his body behind a downwards blow. Yours is already coming up to deflect, but the blow sends you backwards, landing on your back with a splash. He’s on top of you, a hand shoving your face down as mud flows around it.
You thrash and wiggle, a scream cut off as your mouth fills with liquid dirt. Your hand is whirling all around and it catches something and you yank.
He howls as you pull his ear, sending him off-balance just enough to raise your head for a choking gasp before your palm is on his face, shoving him sideways. He rolls away from you, struggling to his feet as you’re on your hands and knees and your gun is in the mud but so is his. He tries to reach for it but he’s stuck, and in that precious heartbeat of time your legs are back under you, feet planted deep and wide.
He whirls towards you as you stand, throwing a punch at your torso that you know you can’t dodge, you can’t even move, so you throw your fist sideways, twisting, forcing all your strength into shoving from your rear leg so that when you catch his knuckles on your forearm they are savagely wrenched sideways with your momentum. His pinkie pops outwards with a crunch, and he falls back with a choked sob.
You grab your gun off the ground, throwing your whole body into a swing at his head, shattering through his palm as he tries to block it. You both fall sideways with the momentum but you find your feet faster, gripping the weapon through the slime coating it as you bring the stock straight down into his skull.
Once.
Twice.
Thrice.
Your grip slides, dirt scraping more of your skin off with each blow, but he’s not moving. You stumble backwards drunkenly, falling onto your forearms again and army-crawling, gun held tightly in each hand, all the way to the edge. You flop on your back then, one eye on the body, and heave great breaths, coughing again and again until your body has enough and you curl inwards, choking out mud and throwing up even more. You try to even your breathing, try to filter the adrenaline out of your system so you don’t crash. In, out. In, out. In out in out inoutinoutinoutinoutin-FUCCCCCKK. You shake your head violently, over and over.
You take one last look at the body, only seeing it because you know where to look. A mud-covered shoulder pokes out of the ground, the rest already lost.
You can’t balance on your feet anymore, so you crawl away.
You don’t even bother to make a shelter that night. You crawl under a rotting log, ripping your last ration bar from your pocket and devouring it, licking the crumbs from your stained and tainted fingers. You curl up and fall asleep just like that, bones chattering and muscles spasming.
-
Helicopter blades wake you up in the morning. You’re on your feet, falling and jumping and running and falling, flailing your arms because you know those blades, that’s your team and they’re here for you and you’re finally free, you did it you did it you’re so proud of yourself you can’t wait to have a warm bath and then maybe even afterwards you can see-
The helicopter passes over you and disappears around the mountain.
You stare at it, deathly still. It’s just sweeping the area, making sure it’s safe to land.
But the wingbeats have already faded into the distance, replaced by a vast and engulfing silence. Time stretches out before you, and you’re still staring at the mountain.
Your stomach breaks the silence with a gurgle.
You flop down, shoving your face into the ground, and scream.
-
You press the button on your radio, cracking the caked mud. It clicks, and you hear nothing. Not even static. You click it again. And again, this time just to hear the sound. Rapidly you click it again and again and again.
You start laughing, your abs clenching and strangling your organs as you guffaw, thrashing around like a headless chicken, and thinking about yourself as a headless chicken makes you laugh even louder. Everything is just so funny, none of this is real, you’re on the Truman Show, you’re the biggest comedy in the world. It’s even funny that your laughter only comes out in squeaky wheezes. It’s all just a big joke. Haha. You can’t wait to tell someone.
You fall asleep just like that, grinning up at the sky with dirt in your teeth.
-
You wake up, stare into the sun, and go back to sleep.
-
You feel lighter.
Is this what it feels like to leave your body?
It’s not as bad as you thought.
-
You wonder if König will remember you.
-
The ground beneath you is moving, sliding under you and scraping along you.
There's no ground underneath you at all now, and something is pressing, and you feel your legs dangling and swinging all around you, the world spinning a jig and you the unwilling passenger. You think you might tell it to stop, but it doesn't listen to you.
You're yanked back into consciousness by a thundering vibration setting every bone against itself. You jolt upwards, feeling heavy pressure on your shoulders as your eyes roll back into your head. The world is black. Black and blue and blurred. Through the haze you begin to make out a white visage and two black voids that pierce through you.
This must be hell. You don’t want to be awake for your judgement.
Your consciousness drifts away again, blocking out the rumbling flight of the helicopter, completely oblivious to the warm bodies pressed in around you, speaking rapidly through their headsets.
Any more? Sweep around again.
There's nothing else here.
Ok. Let's bring these ones back, then.
-
You are still asleep as your body is carried into a hospital room, completely unresponsive as the nurses strip and bathe you with clinical precision. You don’t wake until hours later, seeing only a single nurse checking your vitals and bandages. Each hand and foot has been carefully wrapped, the angry red battlefield of blisters and exposed flesh meticulously covered in pristine, unblemished white. The nurse offers a smile as you fight through the haze, imagining you are underwater and slowly floating to the surface, watching the sun jiggle and warp through the abyss above you. Just bad blisters, the nurse is telling you. Very lucky. Very lucky. You think you might nod back. She’s right, of course. You’re alive, aren’t you?
-
Ghost comes by as you’re released the next day. They’ve rewrapped your hands in a bandage that gives you a little more flexibility, and he finds you sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into the white fabric.
The mattress shifts as he settles beside you. He doesn’t say a word, but his eyes are trained on you. Black voids in a mask of white.
“You left me,” you finally whisper, eyes still on your hands.
“What?”
You look at him, trying to see something in the face to get mad at, but his eyes are just a little wider than before. Confused, maybe.
“The helicopter…” you begin, voice scratchy, and clear your throat. “The helicopter flew right over me.”
“That wasn’t our helicopter.”
“It was heading back from the safehouse.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Oh,” you huff, sinking into yourself. “I…”
You stop as he clears his throat, shoulders expanding in a loud breath. “It’s alright. You were knocked out pretty good by the time our boys found you. Happens to the best of us.”
You nod, swallowing again, and wish someone else was here to comfort you, literally anyone but Ghost. “Is…uh…is…umm…is Soap ok?”
Ghost grunts. “Johnny took one to the arm, but he’ll pull through. I was just going to visit him now.”
You push yourself to your feet, proud that you only sway a bit. “Can I-”
“No,” Ghost cuts you off. “You’ll have time to visit him later. For now you need to go and rest. That’s an order,” he cuts you off as you open your mouth to protest. Your jaw shuts. Call it obedience, call it cowardice, but you find you just don’t have it in you to argue the point. You promise yourself you’ll see Soap in the morning. Well, later in the morning, seeing as it’s somehow 0100 hours already.
When Ghost leaves you slump, any need for straight posture gone with the departure of your superior officer. Trying to keep your breathing even, you will your legs to carry your body down the medical corridor. Just a little longer, you promise them, then you’ll get the break you deserve. But your body has had enough of your unfulfilled promises, and you find yourself forced to sink onto one of the shitty metal chairs littering the hallway. Just a little rest, and then I’ll go back to my quarters.
You wake to the familiar sounds of agony. Before your body has the chance to disagree, instinct has you on your feet again, hands grabbing at the thin air where your sidearm should be. My holster, my holster, where the hell is-
Your eyes land on the white-washed walls. Too clean. Too smooth. And your hands aren’t moving like they should, strangled by white fabric. It finally sinks in that you’re far from the battlefield, far from any fight.
The sounds continue, drawing your eye to one of the many nondescript doors lining the corridor. Someone having a nightmare, probably. Or reacting badly to a procedure, maybe. Either way, a problem best left for the nurses with their iron wills and their tranquilizers. You have enough bruises already. Best not add a black eye to the list.
A pitiful whimper sounds through the door, one that has your heart twisting like a towel being wrung out, sending all the blood to your throat and stomach.
Fuck it. What’s one more bruise?
Your fingers curl the handle down, and you shrink in on yourself as the door swings open on its own with a creak. You catch it and hastily shut it behind you, trying not to make any more noise.
The room is small enough that even the military-issue cot feels too big for it. The room is made even smaller by the man lying in the cot, arms dangling off the sides as he thrashes, his feet hanging off the end. You can see the crumpled blanket on the floor and automatically avert your eyes. The hood is still on, but below it he’s wearing an undershirt and boxers, and you realize this is the most of him you’ve ever seen.
You press yourself to the wall as he spasms again, a leg kicking out and narrowly missing you, causing you to notice the thick white bandage wrapped around his thigh, and the dark line slowly being painted along it.
Hesitantly you flick the lights on, wincing at the burn that rushes through your eyeballs, but he doesn’t even react to it. You have no idea how to wake him up without breaking a bone, so you press your back to the wall, slowly skirting along the edge of the room and staying as far out of his reach as you can, praying to whatever old ghosts are listening that he doesn’t wake up and go straight into murder mode. Or, you know, default alert soldier setting. This is a stupid idea.
As you approach his head you lean over as far as you can, stretching one arm out until the socket pops in protest. You poke his shoulder and leap back.
Nothing.
You take a step closer and lean in again.
You’re immediately interrupted by the door swinging open with a much-louder creak. You and the nurse both pause and stare at each other for a moment, startled, and you sheepishly move to straighten and pull your arm back.
With viper-like speed an arm shoots out to grab your wrist, capturing it in a deadly grip and you yelp, whirling back to the man in the bed and raising your opposite arm.
You freeze when you see his eyes, so wide they’re more white than color. He’s stock-still, fixated on you like a mouse caught in a cat’s gaze. Paralyzed by fear, praying. Shaking.
His hand is…shaking. “Hey, hey,” you coax, hesitantly pulling your arm back in so you can place it over his fingers. “It’s just me, big guy. You’re safe.”
His chest heaves outwards, and you feel his hand relax a little before his head snaps towards the nurse as she takes a step closer, cradling something small and cylindrical in her hands. “It’s alright,” she speaks directly to you. “I can take it from here.”
König releases the breath he’s held, shoving himself backwards on the bed with a shake of his head, prompting the nurse to click her tongue at him before raising the needle. You realize it’s a lot bigger than you first thought. “You’ll be fine,” she’s assuring him. “It will hurt a lot less once it’s done.”
König’s head turns very slowly, back up to you, and for a second you’re confused at his gaze, wondering why he thinks you have enough knowledge to give him any medical advice. Then you notice the way his eyes seem just a little too shiny in the light, the way his other hand is clenching and unclenching around the bedsheet.
You’ve always known him as the perfect soldier, quick and to the point, pin-prick precise, a dancing whirlwind of death. More monster than man. You know him as the one who laughs with every good kill, mocking the reaper of death with a smile. Look at how slow you are. I got here first. He’s the one who dances on the precipice of fate and spits over the edge.
Even sprawled out like this, sweaty and trembling, you are well aware of every flex of his muscles, of the strength he holds back in his grip. Yet as you look into the eyes of the storm you find that for the first time you see no hint of the giddy killing machine looking back at you. The eyes staring back at you from this big soldier’s body are those of a fragile little kid. And he’s terrified.
You gulp, your tongue catching on the back of your throat. “Yeah…yeah, it’ll be ok. I’ll be right here.”
Finally he relaxes, slumping back into the bed, and the nurse takes the opportunity to give him the shot. You feel his flinch in a wave of pressure radiating up your wrist and forearm, but his gaze doesn’t move. He keeps looking into your eyes until his own begin to droop and he sinks even further into the mattress.
Before his hand drops from your wrist you catch it, the skin under your bandages protesting at the sudden flexion. You choose to ignore it, settling down on the floor next to his bed as your own eyes begin to follow his. Even as your head falls into your knees and your body finally gives itself completely over to darkness, you refuse to let go.
-
You’re woken by something warm trailing along your hairline. You jerk, smacking the back of your head into the wall with an irritated grunt. König’s arm hovers in the air just in front of your face, and you turn to see him pressed to the edge of the bed, looking a little guilty. “Sorry,” he murmurs.
You should be, startling me like that, you want to say. But when you open your mouth, what comes out instead is “No, it’s ok, I just…I wasn’t expecting it.”
König gulps audibly, and the cot creaks as he pulls his hand back, shifting his body even closer. “You stayed.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“Never,” he hisses, and you find yourself staring into his eyes again, only this time they’ve taken on their old torrential intensity.
Now it’s yours that are as wide as a child’s. You gulp, feeling the muscles of your jaw flex and unflex. “Ok,” you finally murmur. “I’ll stay.”
-
And you do. For two more nights König stays in the infirmary, weathering the steady rounds of nurses and bandage changes with a steely resolve even as his fists flex and twist into the sheets. You stay with him all the while, but he doesn’t reach for your hand again, not after noticing your own bandages.
The second night you sleep in the cot next to him at his insistence. You’re hurt too, he reasons. You need a real bed to rest in. He scoots himself to the back edge to give you room, and when you wake up he hasn’t moved.
After the third night you wake to his hand resting on your arm. It’s a small gesture. Innocent even. Yet still you find yourself contemplating it, barely saying a word as the nurses come to remove his bandages. You grind your jaw as you take in the puckered line of stitches running from his knee up to the edge of his boxers, looking away politely as the nurses help him into a pair of sweatpants.
You don’t even say anything when you let him lean on your shoulders, using your own aching body as a sacrificial lamb to transport him back to his barrack. Once you get him into bed you hover in the doorway, taking in the shadows of the walls, twisting your wrists back and forth, a habit you picked up to alleviate the pain from flexing your fingers. They’re in even thinner bandages now, but you’d rather be safe than sorry.
Maybe there’s nothing to say. You found him in a vulnerable situation where he needed a lifeline. It could have been anyone, he was barely lucid. Now he surely wanted to forget all of that vulnerability and go back to a time where he hadn’t needed help from anyone. Not even you. Especially not you. He was a soldier, after all. Fondness wasn’t in the job description.
Best not to say anything then. Just…leave and get this over with. Just like that. Yeah…easy. Really easy.
Your move to shut the door behind you is halted by him calling your name. Your real name. You didn’t even know he knew your name.
He calls it again, quieter this time, and you lean back in the door, eyes drifting across his room to him. He’s still sitting on the bed where you left him, only now he’s hunched over to rest a forearm on his good thigh. “Come back here,” he breathes, voice cracking, and it hits you right in your stomach, settling there like a wounded bird, flapping and screeching at you to stay away, you’re already in too deep, you don’t know how this will end.
But it’s too late. You’re walking forward, the door swinging shut behind you. Locked. You’re already reaching out for the hand he offers, only for him to reach past the bandages and grab your wrist. You pause at that, staring into the hazy depths of his eyes, pupils bursting for you again. Slowly, inch by excruciating inch, he straightens again, face coming closer to yours as another hand snakes around your neck to help guide you down to straddle his good thigh, moving your forearms to rest on each of his shoulders.
The bird in your stomach has moved to your chest, and you’re positive he can feel your heavy breathing even through his mask with how close you are. His eyes look down to your lips, and you wonder if he is going to lift his hood up and kiss you, your cheeks flushing in anticipation as he leans forward.
Only instead he rests his forehead against yours, eyes drifting closed. You feel your arms drift upwards with his inhale. “Stay with me,” he exhales. “One more night.”
You nod against his forehead, wrapping your arms around his neck and finally letting your own eyes close. Your breathing is slowed down now, and you find yourself enjoying the warmth you feel radiating from everywhere you touch him. One of his hands has spread against your thigh, while the other still rests along your neck, thumb tracing up and down your jaw. You know you could fall asleep just like this.
König, however, has other ideas. As you slump even further to him, both of his hands drift to your hips. You notice the movement, sighing at the pleasant sensation of his hands running over your body. You don’t notice the intention until he takes a deep breath, and in one smooth motion he has stood and twisted to lay you down on the bed, climbing on top of you. You gasp, feeling your heart stutter all over again, blood rushing to your core as you feel the fabric of his hood rub up your neck. His nose, you think.
Fuck, you want him. You want him just like this and any other way he’s willing to give, but you can’t, you shouldn’t, and you know you have to at least try to protest. You bite back a whimper as a hand drags up your inner thigh. “König, your leg.”
“I don’t care,” he growls. “Say my name again.”
You groan in protest and he pulls back, tilting your face up to his. “Is this not what you want?” He feels the way your jaw flexes and pulls away.
“Wait. No. I want this. You. I want you. Just…please be careful.”
He hears the last part, but he’s past giving a damn about his own body now. His hand is already undoing your belt and he’s leaning back to ease your pants and underwear off your legs, lazily tossing them to the side.
A harsh word escapes his throat as he looks down at you, but you don’t catch it through the blood rushing in your ears. “Close your eyes,” he orders, and unthinkingly you do, another growling swear reaching your ears. “So obedient for me.”
You hear the shuffling of fabric and feel a hand wrap around one of your knees, lifting it up for a warm tongue to swirl along the inside of it, for wet lips to place a sloppy kiss just above where his tongue had just been. His lips slide up again, and this time he sucks on the skin just slightly, and you feel your leg tremble as a tiny moan escapes you, but he’s already moving further up and this time sucking harder, and then further and harder and further and harder until he’s against your inner thigh and his teeth are sinking into you and you yelp his name, whining in frustration as he pulls back.
“No,” you pant, “don’t stop. Please.”
You feel a chuckle rumble in his throat and his nose presses into the bottom of your slit. You jolt, squeezing your eyes tighter as it slides up through you before pressing into your sensitive spot, and he inhales.
“Fuck,” you cry, tangling your hands in the sheets only to choke on a sound of pain.
König pulls back immediately and you shake your head at him, a sob on the edge of your quivering lips.
“Easy. Watch your hands.”
You grit your teeth and nod, relaxing your fingers and turning your palms up.
“Good,” he purrs as his hands hook under the backs of your knees, easily throwing your legs over his shoulders. As he settles back down you feel the muscles in his back flexing against your calves and moan before his mouth is even on you.
He hums contentedly at the sound, running his tongue along the length of you before swirling it around your clit. His lips pucker against it and he sucks, pulling away with a soft pop that has you clenching your legs around him. He moves in again, lazily altering between sucking and tracing his tongue just around your bud, feeling the way you flex against him, hearing the way you react to each movement, and committing all of it to memory before shifting his head so he can dip his tongue inside you. He groans at the taste, the vibration of it radiating up under your ribs and down through your legs. You’re quiet now, feeling how close you are settling heavy over you, drowning you in deliciously sweet honey.
He feels the shaking of your legs around him and returns to your clit as he slowly works a finger into you, curling it upwards to stroke at the spongy part inside of you.
You break quietly, choking on his name as the pleasure strangles your muscles and sets them briefly aflame, fresh sensations flowing through you as he continues to touch you just so, only pulling away when you sink into the mattress and your legs slip from his shoulders.
You hear the bed frame creak as he pulls back, running a hand up your thigh before the shifting sound of fabric hits your ears, and you feel the mattress sink down in different places as he shifts.
“Open your eyes.”
You do as he says, your disappointment at seeing the sniper’s hood obscuring his face immediately squashed by the realization that the rest of him is completely naked.
You’re seeing him for the first time.
Fucking hell, what a sight.
Your eyes rest on the delicious curve of his cock first, marveling at the pink tip and the thick veins running along it. You had felt his size on plenty of occasions, but seeing it for the first time is a new beast entirely, one that has you biting your lip and wiggling your hips like a teenager all over again.
But soon your eyes are taken in by the strong curves of muscle outlining his hips, and your eyes are traveling upwards to the delicious bulges of his chest, your own heaving at the sight. You find yourself wanting to trace the outline of each hill and valley of muscle that flows along his shoulders, down his arms, to the hands, wanting to run your tongue along the veins like raised rivers spreading down his forearm and across the back of each hand.
You wonder what his back looks like. You wonder how the muscles of his neck shift as he moves, what the outline of his jaw is shaped like. You are greedy and want to take everything he has, and at the same time you are desperate for anything he can give you. You’re a peasant kneeling at the feet of your king, ready to lick the crumbs he throws you off the floor.
His head tilts playfully, breaking you out of your reverie. “You like what you see?”
Your chuckle catches in your chest, only a tiny puff of air leaving your mouth. “Yes.”
His eyes scrunch a little, and you imagine he is grinning as he leans over, balancing himself above you. He moves back a bit, hand adjusting your hips as he positions himself. He looks back up at you, and you nod eagerly, your hands reaching up to grab his shoulders. He clicks his tongue, glancing at them, and with a groan you put your hands above your head. He moves one of his own to grasp your wrists, keeping them pinned as he sinks onto his forearms.
You feel the head of his cock running up and down your folds, and instinctively bend your back to give him a better angle, earning an approving hum that makes you even wetter. But as he braces himself and begins to drive into you, a strangled sound smashes through his gritted teeth.
Oh no. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”
He doesn’t answer, only pressing his face into your neck, inhaling heavily as you feel his entire body stiffening against you. “It’s…it’s fine,” he hisses, his hand strangling your wrists. “Just …” he heaves another breath. “Ah... Ich… I…need a…moment.”
You sigh, wiggling a hand out of his grip to push his chin up. He lets you move his face back, and even in the dim light you can see the way the skin around his eyes has gone even paler than normal. “Get off,” you murmur.
He slumps, twisting his face out of your grip and keeping his eyes on the wall. He stays like that for a second before giving a swift nod and pulling out, maneuvering backwards on the bed and moving to get off.
“Wait!” you burst out, and he freezes. “That’s not what I meant.”
After another moment he looks at you in bewilderment, so you sit up and shift to the side, patting the bed next to you. Awkwardly, he crawls to it, nearly dragging his bad leg, stiffening again when you place your wrists on his shoulders. “Let me?”
After a second of staring into your eyes, he nods again, allowing you to push on him, laying him on his back before you straddle him and finally take your shirt off. You see his chest rise with a shuddering breath and before you really think about it you’re leaning down to lick a stripe up his sternum. Seeing his pecs jerk upwards on either side of your tongue emboldens you and you shift your head, running your tongue back down to circle over one of his nipples before you suck.
Immediately the muscles flex again and he pushes up into you. “Like that,” he snarls, loud and vibrating through your skull. You’re aching down there again, but you’re not done yet. You release him with a squelch, watching the patch of saliva glisten before moving to give the other nipple the same treatment, your heart leaping at the sounds falling from his mouth as he quivers under you.
“König,” you croon. “Touch me.”
He whimpers as you flick your tongue over the sensitive bud. “Where?”
“Anywhere. Grab my hair, squeeze my tits, just put your hands on me.”
You groan as he obeys, long fingers tangling tightly in your hair as his other hand spreads along your ribcage, thumb sliding over your breast. You sigh, leaning down to bite into his pec, moaning as his grip on you tightens. You kiss the mark left by your teeth before leaning back. His hands move to cup both of your breasts as you raise yourself up and sink down onto his cock. You’re too excited and you go too fast, and a sharp pinch of pain seizes at your entrance. You gasp, instinctively leaning forward to brace yourself on your palms, but his hands move to your waist, catching you before you hurt them any further.
“I have you,” he whispers, voice scratchy, and despite the pain you clench at the sound of what you do to him. He chokes on his next words, a groan coming out instead. “Do you need to get off?”
“No!” You whisper-yell back so quickly that he laughs, and despite everything you laugh with him. He runs his hands up and down your sides, feeling you start to relax a little, but not enough yet. “Tell me what you need,” he murmurs.
“It’s fine.” You close your eyes and try to focus on your breathing. “Just need…a moment.”
“Hypocrite.”
You shoot your eyes open to glare at him, only to see his chest shake with another chuckle at your scrunched-up angry face. “Your leg is sliced open, it’s not the same,” you scoff.
His eyes glimmer with the start of a witty retort before one of his hands freezes over your bottom rib, drawing his lovely gaze away from yours. His thumb is circling around a tiny hairline of a scar, bone-white and soft. You’ve already forgotten how you got it.
“This one,” he murmurs. “It is new.”
“How…how did you notice?”
“It wasn’t there last time.” His tone was quiet and matter-of-fact, like the answer was obvious, and it takes you back to every time his hands ran over you as you drifted into sleep. How long did he stay there after you fell asleep? How long did it take him to commit you to memory so well that a patch of skin even you had forgotten was instantly recognized as something new?
Your body has always been a means to an end, a vehicle carrying you rather than a full part of you. Batter it, toss it around, whatever you need to do to get the job done. And when your body protests, you treat it like any other tool you can beat into submission. Like your first battered old car that revved to life with a well-placed kick.
But now all you can think of is his hands running over you with thorough determination, acknowledging each new mark with a gentle reverence that was more than you deserved. Getting to know you in the only way he knew how.
For the first time in a long time, you’re reminded to see this body as something more than a bruised vessel you’re obligated to carry around. He reminds you to see it as something more.
Fuck, you think you might love him.
“König?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
His head tilts a little, his hand still running along your rib, and your cheeks flush.
Before he can reply, you gulp a little. “I…I think I’m ready.”
He hums again, his hands moving back to rest on your hips. You stay still for another moment, looking into his eyes. You don’t think you can memorize his body, not like he has yours. But you have memorized his eyes, have burned them into your mind so clearly you saw them even as you were trapped on that damned mountain. Thinking about him.
And now you think he might've been thinking about you, too.
You feel him twitch inside of you, pulling you out of your thoughts. Taking a deep breath, you raise yourself up slowly, feeling his hands tighten and take some of your weight, following your lead as you sink into him again, this time with a sigh that echoes his own. Slowly, hesitantly, you raise yourself up and down, feeling how easily he stretches you, how easily he could break you.
But he never has. The only pain you’ve gotten from him was caused by your own impatience. As you keep going, finding an angle that has him dragging across your most sensitive parts and making you even wetter, you become confident that there’s no chance of pain, allowing yourself to speed up.
His hands are steady as ever, guiding you up and down, but beneath you his shoulders and chest begin to squirm and heave. His eyes wander all around, and his breaths are scattered and staccato.
And his sounds. You’d never known a man to be so loud, and now you know you’ve been missing out all these years. Every grunt, every groan, every moan and whimper goes straight through your core, winding you up faster and faster. As you get closer his sounds shift, and you realize he’s started to stutter out words.
His eyes are hazy and unfocused but you can still tell they’re trained on you, and you urge your body to calm down for just a minute longer, just long enough to hear what he’s saying.
You can’t make out any of the words, but his hands are even tighter on you now and the way his voice shifts from growling to whimpering settles into a melodic language that has you crying out for him anyway.
Beneath your trembling body, he keeps going. “Never..told you …du bist wie ein Traum,” another whimper leaves his lips. “Ich kann nicht glauben, dass du wirklich hier bist.” He gasps as you clench tighter around him. “Du bist…du…Du bist viel zu gut für mich…Dein Lächeln und …und…” His eyes are watering and you slow down only for his hands to dig into you, urging you to speed up again. “Ich weiß nicht wie ich dich loslassen soll aber du verdienst so viel mehr als …”
His mind is lapsing again, his determined confession faltering into a fervent prayer sent to the only god he’s ever believed in, to you - moving over him and taking everything he is giving you, making him wish he had more, so much more than the desert-dry heart of a killer whose hands can only ever pull things apart. His thumb is over the scar on your rib again and his blurry vision is taking in the white of the bandage wrapped around your hands and it has him wishing his own hands could build something instead of destroy it just so he could put you back together again. You’re coming apart around him, crying his name, and he’s thinking of flinging his body in front of you, taking every bullet and blade meant for you, because his body is all he has to give and he knows how to sacrifice it, he knows he’ll gladly lay it at your altar, bloody and broken, if it could only mean making sure he’d never be surprised by a new scar again. Maybe you’d even remember him a little when he was gone.
He’s trying to tell you all of that, the messy syllables punching through his throat. “Niemals, niemals, nie,…” but before he can finish he’s failing already, falling apart under you and screaming your name and emptying everything he has into you.
It’s not enough.
You’re laying on top of him now and he tries his best to be gentle but his entire body is shaking as he rolls you off and staggers to his bathroom, slamming the door behind him and sinking against it.
He shatters in a whole-body-wracking sob.
You’re never going to look at him again.
He tucks his legs in, squeezing his knees into his chest, squeezing even harder as a burn radiates out from the stitches, trying to rein in his ragged breathing in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, he can save this and cover up the fact that he’s crying.
It was just meant to be casual sex. He wasn’t supposed to start caring. That’s not what you wanted. It’s not fair to you. It’s not your fault he let himself get emotional. And now he’s ruined the only thing you two did have, he wanted to make you feel better and now he’s made you so uncomfortable and…and…
He slams his forehead into his knees and sobs again.
He’s pathetic. Pathetic to think this could be something more. Pathetic to think he could have something more.
Everything hurts.
That’s what he signed up for, isn’t it?
That’s what he deserves.
A knock on the door has his head jerking back up, hands clutching his knees hard enough the knuckles just might pop through the skin. “Go away!”
“No.” Your tone is flat as he hears a thunk against the other side of the door, imagining you leaning against it and sliding down, mirroring him perfectly. “Not until you talk to me.”
“No.”
You sigh. “That's how it’s gonna be? Well, in that case, to quote a man I…admire very much, I can make you talk.” You drop your voice, trying and failing to mimic his battle growl.
He snorts despite himself.
You take that as a cue to continue. “For one, I’m not leaving until you do. You’ll be stuck with my annoying-ass voice forever.”
“I like your voice.”
“Oh…umm…thank you. In that case I’ll…I’ll steal all your knives and I’ll draw a kangaroo on your door and-”
“You wouldn’t dare,” he growls.
“Guess you’ll never know if you keep that door closed. And that’s not all, I’ll…I’ll steal those cheap chocolates we get every supply drop. Don’t deny it, I know everyone joked it was Ghost but I saw you take them all. You love those.” You smile, laughing a little. “On the other hand, I’ll fly to Austria right now if that’s what it takes to get some chocolate you’d really like. I’d even get you some of those waffle things you were telling Soap about that one time I caught you both raiding the snack cabinets. Well, I’d probably eat some of those. But I promise to save most of them for you. Just…please talk to me. I’ll…I’ll…” you’re cut off by your own squeak as the door opens and you fall backwards.
His hands are already there to catch you, and once you sit back up he stays there, half-crouched and awkward, eyes anywhere but your own.
Slowly, you open your arms, watching his head turn back to you.
In an instant he’s lunged into you, burrowing his face into your neck with an awkward grunt as he stretches his bad leg out to the side. You try to change to a comfier position for him but the man is like a brick wall.
It’s nice.
So you let yourself stay there, wrapping around him as he wraps around you on the hard floor. It’s a softness unknown to you both, two soldiers carved razor-sharp from solid steel. But as you let yourself sink into him, you find yourself liking the strange tranquility of this moment, the way two bodies made for war can still drape over each other and feel peace instead. Against all better judgement, against any scrap of common sense you have left, you find yourself yearning for a few less battles if it can mean more of this. You let your eyes close, imagining it for just a little while.
After a while, he pulls back, moving to lean against the wall and pulling you so you can balance on his uninjured thigh. You let your head loll onto his shoulder, face turned into the hood. His chin rests on your temple.
“Are you cold?”
He grunts noncommittally, eyes half-closed. “Are you?”
“Nooo,” you mumble, burrowing into his neck. He shifts, maneuvering you off his lap, only to grunt when he tries to push on his leg.
“I got it.” You push yourself up, moving to the bed to retrieve one of the blankets there, carefully wrapping it around both of your torsos when you settle back onto his lap. Your legs stick out, but you don’t really care.
After a while you feel his heartbeat begin to pick up again and adjust yourself to look up at him. His eyes drift to you before he sighs. “Do you…still want me to talk?”
You nod.
“Alright then. I will talk. I do not think it is what you want to hear.”
You bite your lip and try to keep your breathing steady as he continues.
“Back in the med bay. No. Before that.” He shakes his head emphatically. “When we were assigned to two different groups…No…Scheiße, I…”
You run a shaky hand up and down his chest. “It’s okay. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
His fingers dig into you for a fraction of a second, so quick you think you might have imagined it before his entire body is deflating, his head settling back against the wall. “They ambushed us. You weren’t there but…they hit us on patrol, hit us and ran before we could counter. I did not even see who hit me, I just look up one moment and down the next and the snow is all red and…” His voice drops to barely a whisper “Das war meines.” He trails off completely, a finger tracing circles on your shoulder. “I've been wounded before. I've accepted death before. This time...before I...while I was…” he exhales another irritated sigh. “I was on the ground and…wie sag ich das…ich hab versucht etwas zu tun, mich zu bewegen aber alles was ich tun konnte...I was thinking of you.”
He freezes, turning his head away and dropping his hands from you. But instead of moving away, you kiss a patch of skin just outside the hood, watching the muscle under it jump. “Is that all you want to tell me?”
He shakes his head.
“Do you think you can keep going?”
His head turns back to you briefly before he tilts it up to stare at the ceiling. “When I was in the med bay. Well, I…it went like this. I wake up and you are there and I think, König this is it, now you are finally dead. And then I feel the pain and I see the nurse and you were moving away and I couldn't…du warst da und dann warst du fast nicht mehr da und ich konnte nicht atmen. Ich…” he shakes his head back and forth, back and forth. “Ich konnte nicht ohne dich. Ich…needed you to stay.” His head jerks down again, eyes boring into yours with all the intensity of a tornado, arms wrapping around you once again. “I need you to stay.”
You nod, holding him tight, the weight of the words unspoken tangling in your chest and constricting your tongue. Stay. With me. He won't ask for more than tonight, not when neither of you can even risk asking for a tomorrow. Stay with me. For as long as you have. A day, maybe. A month. Maybe you'll get out of this mess someday and get years.
Stay with me for a lifetime. Whatever lifetime we get.
You nod, whispering a promise into his skin. Always. Your fingers drift down along his leg, tracing just outside the stitches, your eyes following the line of gooseprickles that rise in their wake.
You feel more than you hear your name being whispered into your hair, and as you look up fingers wrap around your wrist, guiding it up over his hip, his ribs, his chest. Sliding around the edge of the hood, pushing it up, up, up. Until the fabric slides off. You gaze in awe, watching his jaw flex as his lips part to form a word whose sound hides in the back of his throat. Always. You look back into his eyes before surging forward, hugging him tight, tight enough to strangle, you think, but he’s already wrapping himself around you with equal fervor.
“You know,” you murmur, breath ruffling his hair, “if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
He huffs a laugh, the air catching in his lungs with a choking sound. His grip tightens.
-
When you wake you find you’ve been moved to the bed, but his face is still buried in your neck, unmoving despite the soft light filtering in your window. You smile a little, watching the early-morning sky, perfectly clear and pale blue.
It matches his eyes.
---
German Translations
du bist wie ein Traum: You are like a dream
Ich kann nicht glauben, dass du wirklich hier bist: I can’t believe you are here
Du bist viel zu gut für mich: You are too good to me
Dein Lächeln und…: You smile and…
Ich weiß nicht wie ich dich loslassen soll aber du verdienst so viel mehr als: I don't know how I am supposed to let go of you (eventually) but you (clearly) deserve so much more than me
Niemals, niemals, nie: never again, never again, never
Scheiße: shit
Das war meines: it was mine
wie sag ich das: how do I say this
ich hab versucht etwas zu tun, mich zu bewegen aber alles was ich tun konnte: I tried doing something, moving, but all I could do
du warst da und dann warst du fast nicht mehr da und ich konnte nicht atmen. Ich…: you were there and then you nearly weren’t there and I could not breathe. I…
Ich konnte nicht ohne dich. Ich…: I couldn’t without you. I…
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