don't be ashamed of who you are,
that's your parents job.
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my sleep paralysis demon smiled at me one day. but the thing is, i ain't seen the nigga since then. y'all think he caught feelings and decided to leave???
men...am i right??
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Mask the pain,
Die with a smile on,
Swallow traces of the hurt,
Succumb to the loneliness,
The world doesn't need to know how alone you've become.
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The piercing gaze the child sent me,
It was like he knew my sins and could see beyond my aberration.
But clearly, he didn’t seem agitated.
My demons didn’t scare him?
He monitored my every move,
Could he sense my fears?
Did he see I worshipped my insanity?
He was serene.
He placed his warm palm on my forehead,
But he jerked away quickly.
Did he think my existence was proscribed?
Did he see that I’ve spent almost all of my peak years scribbling an aubade for every man I met even though I knew they were ephemeral?
Did he see I settled for sleep because death seemed far off?
He tilted his head,
And I turned my gaze away from the little boy.
But that didn’t stop him, he turned to me again.
I almost thought he could see through my needs, pain and suffering.
But he only thought I deserved every billet-doux there was,
He thought I deserved redamancy from everyone I met.
He thought there was hope for me?
He smiled at me,
He could sense my fears,
It was like he knew the master of my misery and wanted to confront it.
I felt comfort for the first time in a really long while,
And it was real.
I closed my eyes and felt his warm palm on my cheek just before he turned to dust, like my will to live.
–Morana
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“how many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?”
— 𝘝𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘢 𝘞𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘧
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