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hailsatanacab · 6 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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squishymar · 6 days
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new episode = more bad kids tweets! i love this one
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feedthefandomfest · 3 months
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Comment Bingo for Beginners
Very simple rules: connect 5 squares in a line by completing the task in each square
Very simple goals: encourage newbie or nervous commenters; encourage fandom writers to KEEP WRITING
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STEPS:
Download Bingo Card HERE (png) or HERE (jpg) or HERE (pdf)
Complete the tasks on the card, marking off each as you go, until you've completed 5 in a line (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal; NO double-dipping; kudos ♥️ is a free space)
POST your winning card (or list your filled squares) and tag @feedthefandomfest! Glory in your victory.
REWARD:
✨ victory badge ✨
Tag me when you earn a bingo (or double, triple, quadruple... FULL CARD bingo) and I'll reblog a shiny badge with your name on it to commemorate the win.
FAQ:
Can I comment on tumblr or only on AO3?
Either one is great! Some squares are more designed with AO3 in mind, but most can be adjusted to suit tumblr as well, so I say go for it. Tumblr fics deserve love, too.
Can one comment count toward multiple squares if the fic fits more than one category?
Since the goal is for as many fics to receive comments as possible, try to comment on a different fic for each square.
Is there a time limit?
Nope! Take your time or set your own deadline, whatever works for you. This blog is still in its early experimental stage, so feedback welcome. Play around and let me know what you like and what might be added/changed—including ideas for squares on future cards!
Do I have to record progress on the actual card?
Nope! If it’s easier to keep track in a different way, that’s fine. This is all very honor system, so if you say you earned a Bingo, we’ll call it a win 🎉
Some people have been tracking not just completed tasks, but the fics they read along the way, so that when they post a bingo, they can also promote the fics/authors in a little rec list. Not required, but definitely cool to see!
Can I adjust the task in a particular square to suit my comfort level?
Of course! If you deliver something in the spirit of the task, then it’s all good. Use your best judgement in constructing a comment that will make the author smile, and you can consider it a job well done.
In general, so long as each square has produced at least one comment, you’re golden and I salute you 🫡
Happy commenting!!
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whumpacabra · 11 days
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ah, the classic “character has been impaled and pinned to a wall or the floor”
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stiffyck · 2 years
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some more stuff 
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akicult · 1 year
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contains ; domesticity. bf!suguru. suggestive themes. modern / college au. geto wants you to be his housewife basically. just a short drabble. mostly fluff.
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just thinking about college bf!suguru that didn’t realize he was a domestic person until he met you.
he’s still young, only in his third year at university and he’s still deciding on what his near future will look like. he’s had his fair share of girlfriends, and little hookups, and to be quite frank—he didn’t think he was done either.
how was he supposed to know the first night he met you, bent over his backseat, was about to be the start of the most serious relationship he’d ever have.
that night started the first of many, slowly realizing he was only asking to hookup just because he wanted to see you. how he’d send a pickup text, with a frown on his cheeks because he thought you were only in it for that reason.
and when he finally swallowed his stubbornness, he was met with the most amazing two years of his life, stuck with you by his side.
college bf!suguru who, until he met you, hardly even dreamt about a future where the love of his life would carry his child in her arms, kissing his cheek and brewing a cup of coffee for the two of them to share in the morning.
he didn’t even care to imagine what that future would be like, what the woman would look like. it didn’t feel achievable, or even desirable until he fell in love with you.
and it was a random realization, but looking back on it—it was building. slowly.
weeks and weeks spent of you just pampering him, praising him, for even the most average things. like, getting an amazing score on an exam, and all you had to do was say, “aw! good job, baby!” before he was putty in your fingertips.
his room is all messy, deep dark circles under his eyes. it was procrastination’s fault—his fingers hurt from typing on his computer all day thanks to waiting until hours before a huge essay was due.
you offered to leave his apartment, to give him the concentration he needs to get it finished, but he was ushering a “no, no stay,” because he honestly didn’t want you to leave. so you stayed, situating yourself in the other room, occasionally popping in to check up on him—and eventually lay on his bed after he insists you to.
it’s only when he finally finishes—8 hours later and it’s already nighttime. his shoulders are slouched, his back is stiff and he’s walking out of his room with his closed computer weighing by his side.
and you’re still there.
not only are you still there, but you’re washing his dishes.
hair clipped back, sweatshirt engulfing your body and sweats tightly tied around your waist. you’re humming along to some music that plays over a speaker—quiet but loud enough to know what song is playing.
you look so utterly homey.
so…domestic.
like you’ve settled into your personal home after a long day at work, just blissfully scrubbing away on glossy white dishes that were previously eaten on. your clothes acknowledge that you’re comfortable, uncaring of what he sees you in.
although it’s not just the fact that you’re dressed like that—it’s the fact that you’re cleaning his things.
cleaning a mess you didn’t even make, just out of the kindness in your heart that’s making geto’s throat close and his palms sweaty. he’s in absolute awe that he doesn’t realize you’ve noticed his presence until you’re turning to face him.
“oh! did you finish?” you ask, turning the water off and rushing towards him.
he’s blinking, nodding slowly. “yeah—just submitted it.”
“yay! ‘m so proud of you!” you grin, lacing your fingers behind the back of his neck and pulling him in for a chaste kiss like you always do—but it feels so much different this time.
like you’re congratulating him on a big promotion, tugging on his work tie and kissing him until he’s forgetting his own name.
he feels like his ring finger is so cold, and there’s a missing heavy weight that’s never even been there in the first place.
like he’s an idiot for not tying you down on the spot—wrapping vows and vows around the two of you until you’re barely mobile.
and he wants to be your doting husband for the rest of his life. he wants to walk through his front door every evening with an awaiting kiss to his cheek, and a home-cooked meal fresh in his senses.
he wants to go to sleep with you in his arms every night, mumbling sweet ‘i love you’’s after flickering off the bedside lamp.
and maybe, just maybe one day, he wants to hear the gentle pitter patter of two little feet charging down the hallway.
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this is accidentally freud coded (emphasis on accidentally)
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teejaystumbles · 1 year
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Palette meme challenge - the Hob/Dreamling compilation through the centuries!
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alasarys · 7 months
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Recommended books for the drivers from BookPeople, Austin, Texas (insta)
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Daniel Ricciardo: Friday Night Lights – "... every Friday night from September to December, when the Permian High School Panthers play football, this West Texas town becomes a place where dreams can come true."
Lando Norris: Assassin's Apprentice – "Fitz ... must give up his old ways and embrace a new life of weaponry, scribing, courtly manners; and how to kill a man secretly, as he trains to become a royal assassin."
Alex Albon: My Brilliant Friend – "... a rich, intense and generous-hearted story about two friends ... a touching meditation on the nature of friendship."
Logan Sargeant: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood – "hilarious, delicious, and brutal"
Yuki Tsunoda: A Cook's Tour – "the unpredictable adventures of America's boldest and bravest chef."
Carlos Sainz: Great American Golf Stories – "some of the best classic writings, both fact and realistic fiction, that reflect the rich history, tradition, agony, and ecstasy of one of our most enduring and endearing pastimes."
Oscar Piastri: Iona Iverson's Rules for Commuting – "It turns out that talking to strangers can teach you about the world around you--and even more about yourself."
Lance Stroll: Infinite Jest – "Set in an addicts' halfway house and a tennis academy, and featuring the most endearingly screwed-up family to come along in recent fiction, Infinite Jest explores essential questions about what entertainment is and why it has come to so dominate our lives; about how our desire for entertainment affects our need to connect with other people; and about what the pleasures we choose say about who we are."
Charles Leclerc: Every Good Boy Does Fine – "[Denk] reminds us that we must never stop asking questions about music and its purposes: consolation, an armor against disillusionment, pure pleasure, a diversion, a refuge, and a vehicle for empathy."
Lewis Hamilton: The Boy with a Bird in his Chest – "A heartbreaking yet hopeful novel about the things that make us unique and lovable, The Boy with a Bird in His Chest grapples with the fear, depression, and feelings of isolation that come with believing that we will never be loved, let alone accepted, for who we truly are, and learning to live fully and openly regardless."
Max Verstappen: Atomic Habits – "Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits--whether you are a team looking to win a championship ..."
Zhou Guanyu: A Visible Man – "When Edward Enninful became the first Black editor-in-chief of British Vogue, few in the world of fashion wanted to confront how it failed to represent the world we live in. But Edward, a champion of inclusion throughout his life, rapidly changed that."
Pierre Gasly: Misery – "He's a bestselling novelist who has finally met his biggest fan. Her name is Annie Wilkes and she is more than a rabid reader – she is Paul's nurse, tending his shattered body after an automobile accident. But she is also his captor, keeping him prisoner in her isolated house."
Valtteri Bottas: Foundryside – "To have a chance at surviving ... Sancia will have to marshal unlikely allies ... and undergo her own transformation ..."
Fernando Alonso: The House of the Spirits – "an enthralling saga that spans decades and lives, twining the personal and the political into an epic novel of love, magic, and fate."
Kevin Magnussen: The Daily Dad – "366 Meditations on Parenting, Love, and Raising Great Kids"
Sergio Perez: Bad Feminist – "an inspiring call-to-arms of all the ways we still need to do better"
Building on the excellent work by @vegasgrandprix and @kritischetheologie
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(Was thinking of posting each of em lil ones separately here but oh well🫧)
These are my 1 am cocoapuff doodles 👍🏼
Idk what I was trying to draw based on their descriptions but thankfully these are just rough concepts of my interpretation of these lil demons 🥹
They are surprisingly complicated to get right 😭
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theminecraftbee · 2 months
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okay, so. let me be a bit clearer about why a lot of the stuff people have been suggesting i should do with lizzie in the joel persona au bothers me:
so like, it's not a great feeling to have a bunch of people are going "you should put lizzie in your au to be joel's dedicated love interest."
it's a problem with lizzie characterization in this fandom in general: SO OFTEN she is reduced to just being joel's wife or joel's dedicated love interest. and man, i like jizzie as much as the next guy, and maybe it's not my space to talk as someone who is much more of a joel main than a lizzie main, but it feels Bad. it feels Bad that very frequently the ONLY reason lizzie is in an au or a fic or something is because joel is there. because people see her as automatically coming with joel as a pair instead of like... as her own person to be involved in something by her own merits or not.
she has other traits! she does her own things! she doesn't just need to be here as joel's Cool Friend or joel's dedicated love interest! and she doesn't need to be here automatically because joel is, as though that's a requirement, either, because that starts to boil down to the same sort of "you see her as an extension of him" feeling. and i'm sure many people are just suggesting her to me because they really like her, and NOT because of this, but the number of un-posted "she should be a childhood friend of joel's" "what if she was the lovers" "what if she were this mysterious person joel has a crush on" "she should be his velvet room attendant"... you see how all of those are putting her in a role that is Inherently More About Joel? and i GET why you want her as a cameo and would be sad if she weren't, but like...
man. it just feels bad how often her ONLY character trait seems to be "joel has a crush on her", and i didn't want to contribute to that.
anyway i have come up with her cameo role that i think is funny but i am putting my foot down on "and her other important trait is of course that joel has a crush on her" because i just. this bothers me A LOT. and i know i'm one to talk given that i don't write her that often and given that, as i said, i like jizzie, but like, man. she's her own guy, guys. she's not solely part of a pair.
that's all i guess.
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dantent · 6 months
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ordowrites · 2 months
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I want it to be known the C for Cum point on the Wanderer post gave me like the most intense brainrot- Like now I just have the mental image of trans Wanderer with like an intense breeding kink and equally as intense baby fever and like he keeps trying to breed his partner but he can't because he has no dick and no fertile cum so dude is just going through the most intense "I would knock you up if I could" type shit-
Like bro is just going through the nightmare of every lesbian and trans-man that just wants bio-kids and that is going to live in my head rent free for the next month because honestly I fucking feel that so hard bro-
oh my god anon, i feel you on this. it has to be a common thing amongst us XD
BUT this has inspired me so-
cw: breeding kink, afab reader, notsfw, use of toys, biting.
trans!wanderer is ago~
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You'd seen him watching families come and go on the streets each day, a thin frown on his beautiful face - you think he looks envious most of the time and always considered asking if he wants to have children (but never quite doing so because you know you'll get a snappy response in return).
Perhaps, you've entertained the thought of a family with him - biological children are off the table for you both but adoption isn't a bad thought. Or hell, maybe finding out how his creator made him and mimicking that if he wants.
Whatever would make him happy.
Baby fever hits him pretty hard on the bad days - those are the days he'll shove you onto the bed, all but rip your clothes off - fingers working at your cunt until you're begging for mercy. He knows all of your spots to make you cum quickly, easier to make you ready for whatever strap on or toy he's picked out for your quivering hole.
His breath is always hot at your hear, needy moans escaping his pretty lips as he shoves himself against you.
"Imagine," he'd groan and growl against your ear, nipping at your earlobe. His movements are erratic, desperate - he's close himself and you're already a mess of your own slick, the fake semen from the dildo, and his. He always makes a mess of you. "You round and plump with my babies, my children. Mine." He bites at your breasts, focusing particularly on making you keen and whimper, sensitive buds perked and ready.
You cannot mistake the need in those violet hues, the desperation - and you sure as shit wish you could give him what you wanted.
The thought makes you clench around the toy, makes him cum - squirt - himself. There's bruises on your wrists from where he'd grabbed you, bite marks on your chest and neck, claw marks along his back and shoulders.
He'd cage you in for a few minutes - breathing hard as you kiss his face in a sloppier, wet manner as you stroke his hair that feels too real to belong to a puppet. You'd quietly assure him that you love him so so much and he'd only grunt in response.
It would be an immaculate conception, you think. Wouldn't it? You're tired, but he's hoisting your legs up on his shoulders. It's never a one time deal - not with him, never with the Wanderer. When he does something, he makes sure he does it multiple times. Until you're both exhausted, until he's satiated and content. The Wanderer never sings you praises, but he certainly does whenever the baby fever strikes him.
So, every time, all you can do is spread your legs wider, wrap your arms around his shoulders, and pull him close.
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fuumiku · 1 month
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Day 3 : fashion Jackalope & dungeon rabbit
"Who are you to Chilchuck Tims?" Smiling softly: "I’m his best friend, his confidante… His silly rabbit." "His… silly rabbit?" "Yes." "Does he call you that?" "No."
I spent way too long rendering this. Coloring Chilchuck’s hair is like painting an autumn landscape and I appreciate that
I love love love brown hares and jackalopes being a Chilchuck thing. Why jackalope specifically it’s more complex bc it’s also tied to my indulgent cultural hc for him but if you want to you can dig through this post for when I talk about why rabbits are so good for him and them. Though now I also associate Rabbit Hole by Deco*27 with them… In my mind they alternate as Miku in that popular animation mv for it, equality for all… Also Zombies but that’s for another day. Also Fashion by Lady Gaga. Also-
They are both flat asses to me. In my heart of hearts
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chimchiri · 2 months
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The people have voted: Crow's got small antenna hairs now. Bear would probably love to pull on them.
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brookiidookiii · 3 months
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Drew some favs
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sushisketching · 10 months
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day 15 - they’re holding hands also a sign that you should watch owl house fr go watch it what are you doing here
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