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honhonluigi · 3 years

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I was wondering, do you think Nagito sees himself as below talentless people? Or at least on the same level? I see lots of people characterize that he hates them and/or would treat them badly, but I just don't agree. I've been trying to study his character deeply and imo you're the person who writes him the best that I've seen so I wanted your opinion. Sorry if this is out of the blue or if you don't want to answer I understand.

I’m the person you think writes him the best? Thank you! That’s incredibly flattering. I try my absolute best to keep him in-character, and to keep his character aligned with the games and not just my own opinions. I study and analyze all of his actions very deeply, and weigh them against each. And to me, the answer is obvious.

I don’t agree with that either. Nagito is not a prejudiced snob. (That’s Byakuya). He doesn’t hate talentless people. I absolutely believe that he sees himself as on the same level as them, or only very slightly above them, if anything. I don’t ever think Nagito would “hate all talentless people” or treat someone badly just because they were talentless, or make that kind of judgement against them. I talk about this a lot on Nagito’s blog, and I really hope that it comes through pretty clearly. I never want to portray Nagito as some kind of prejudiced asshole.

Because he’s not. Canon clearly shows that he isn’t. All the evidence points to him not specifically always hating talentless people. Let’s examine it, the way I did when I came up with my conclusions:

First of all, we have a canon example of how he treats talentless people. It’s Hajime. (And I know Komahina/Nagito haters will immediately go “Yeah! See! He treated Hajime horribly because he was talentless!” Well, you’re a fucking idiot, and you’re completely wrong, but we’ll get to that in a second.)

Let’s look at chapter 1. Nagito is nothing but sweet and considerate to Hajime the entire time, despite Hajime “forgetting” his talent. He sits with Hajime while he’s unconscious on the beach before Nagito even has a chance to know that he has a talent or not. He shows him around. He acts like his best friend the entire time. Despite Hajime not having a talent.

“But he thought Hajime had a talent then!” You may say. And to that: You’re wrong. Nagito specifically says in the first trial that “Hajime and I are on the same level, since he can’t remember his talent.” That’s why he thought he had a shot at being Hajime’s friend. This proves that 1) Nagito viewed Hajime as ‘talentless’ for as long as he didn’t have a talent, since Nagito definitely didn’t consider himself as “on the same level” as Ultimate Students. and 2) That Nagito saw Hajime as talentless and still treated him kindly.

That sets the tone for the whole analysis. Nagito saw Hajime as pretty much talentless right up until he found the files in the Funhouse, and he still treated him well.

Let’s look at chapters 2-4 (up until Gundham’s trial). Hajime is consistently awful to Nagito. Nagito does his best to still be nice to Hajime. Yes, they argue a lot, but that’s Hajime’s fault. Nagito just disagrees with him, or says something crazy about hope, and Hajime can’t handle it. He’s a hot-head. Nagito’s not being ‘deliberately antagonistic’ by just...not agreeing with Hajime. Let alone being cruel on purpose or fighting on purpose. Hajime’s hatred of him was entirely his own fault. The whole time, Nagito still acted nice to Hajime, talked to him, assisted in trials, and was kind. Even if he talked crazy about hope and dared to disagree with Hajime, that doesn’t count as “cruel treatment”.

Alright, now we’ll get to the part that everyone misconceives as proof that Nagito hates all talentless people ever. And it’s so...so unbelievably stupid that it makes my brain hurt just to think about it.

Let’s talk about the Funhouse. While they were starving to death, Nagito was nicer to Hajime than any other time since Ch 1. He only started being mean to Hajime after the investigation, when he went through the Final Dead Room. Why? Because he found Monokuma’s secret reward files. At least everyone can agree on that.

But here most people stop and say “Nagito hated Hajime because he found out he was a Reserve Course Student, and what he says to him proves it!” That’s not true. Let’s really think about it.

What was in the files in the first place? Monokuma admitted after Nagito’s death that what Nagito found showed to him that everyone in his class was in Despair. It had the information on the Despair personalities of all his classmates. Wait...Wait a second? Who was Hajime in Despair? Izuru motherfucking Kamukura, the Ultimate Hope. I don’t doubt that Nagito found out that Hajime was in the Reserve Course, but that wasn’t the only thing he saw. He saw Izuru Kamukura, the Ultimate Hope. And he only got angry with Hajime after finding out that he had a real talent.

Why? Because the reason Nagito was angry has absolutely fucking nothing to do with Hajime’s talent (or lack of it). And what he says to Hajime proves it. He comes up to him angry and says things like “You think you can just become hope because you want to? That’s so selfish! You can’t just become hope just because you want it badly! A talentless person like you has no chance of that!”

What Nagito said was aimed at Izuru Kamukura. He would’ve seen in the files that Izuru Kamukura was a leader of Despair. He would’ve seen that he was “The Ultimate Hope”. And he would’ve learned about Izuru’s part in bringing down Hope’s Peak (which in game canon is the Student Council Murders). Why do you think he was so bent out of shape about Hajime “trying to become hope”? In his eyes, he saw Hajime as some selfish Reserve Course Student who got jealous of Ultimates, who tried to just ‘become hope’ because he felt like it, and ended up destroying everything in the process. Including the school and students that Nagito idolized so much. If you replay the actual conversation, the focus of Nagito’s anger is not that Hajime is talentless, but that he tried to become the Ultimate Hope despite being talentless. He doesn’t go up to Hajime and say “ugh, you’re talentless, and I fucking hate you” he goes “why would you do something like that!? why would you try to become hope!? that’s selfish and irresponsible and you should’ve known that it would end in disaster!”

The reason people get confused is because you hear that conversation before you find out what Izuru did. I was confused too. I was appalled at how Nagito was acting. But once I learned what he read in the files, it made so much sense to me. He was angry at Hajime “trying to become hope” not “being talentless”.

And if you think that conversation was insulting...Yes, it was. Yes, in that moment, Nagito was trying to be mean to Hajime. Not because he hated him for being talentless, but because he was genuinely angry. Angry for what Izuru did, but also hurt and betrayed. Nagito probably felt very betrayed after learning that.

He said the whole time that it was suspicious that Hajime didn’t remember his talent. Monokuma told them there was a traitor, “working with the enemy”. Nagito admitted that he suspected Hajime of being the traitor. What do you think he thought when he saw that ‘Hajime Hinata’ was actually Izuru Kamukura, Head of Despair? Especially when Hajime was the only one who didn’t remember his (very incriminating) talent, and the only calling himself by a different name? Nagito probably thought Hajime was the mastermind. That he knew everything. That he started everything. And he was probably horribly angry and hurt. That’s why he wanted to fight with Hajime. Not because he was talentless.

If you think that’s just a bunch of speculation, then I have two very canon pieces of proof for it. Pieces of proof that don’t make sense if he just ‘hates Hajime because he hates all talentless people.’

After Nagito found the Despair files, he hated everyone. Yes, even his talented Ultimate Hope classmates. He was angry with every single person there. During Gundham’s trial, he did nothing but sass and insult them all. He even said “this is the best that Hope’s Peak has to offer? How disappointing. Some Symbols of Hope you are” or something to that exact affect. He was furious with everyone after what he found. Whether they had a talent or not.

Secondly, Nagito started being nice to Hajime again after the Funhouse. Close to his death, he was talking as kindly to Hajime as he ever did. Try to spend free time with him and he said things like “oh, it’s so nice that you want to spend time with me, and I really wish I could, but--” After Nagito got over his anger, he went right back to treating Hajime as nice as he always did. Even though, by that point, he definitely knew that Hajime had no talent. The Funhouse conversation didn’t prove that he hated Hajime and all talentless people forever. He was just angry. He’s allowed to do that.

But it goes beyond Hajime. He’s just an example of Nagito’s canonical interactions with a talentless person.

Look at Nagito’s own words and actions. Obviously he doesn’t see himself as “as good” as Ultimate Students. He constantly calls himself worthless and horrible. And you know what else? Talentless. Nagito refers to himself as talentless. He sees himself as on the same level as them.

After the first trial, his big speech makes it obvious. The whole trial, he talked about being used as a stepping stone for hope. About his only life’s purpose being to help hope, because it was the only use for a talentless person like himself. Then, after the trial, he goes out and makes a big speech saying “talentless people are worthless and have no purpose but to die for the sake of hope!” And people think he means Reserve Course Students??? Who the fuck would he be talking about if not himself? He had no idea there was anyone talentless on the island, and certainly not a talentless person involved in his murder plans. The only person like that who was involved was him. And he spoke about himself in that exact same way. “I have no purpose but to die for the sake of hope, because I’m a talentless person and my life is worthless” compare to “talentless people have worthless lives and exist for nothing but to die for hope”. Right after that trial. When he didn’t know there was anyone else talentless on the island. When everyone was asking him “why the hell would you do something like that!?” Who the fuck else would he be talking about? He was talking about himself. It was supposed to show how crazy he was about himself and the idea of hope, not about his prejudice towards...characters that weren’t even known yet? And that very much proves that he sees himself as on the same level as talentless people, not better than them.

It’s also proved by his interactions with Hajime after the Funhouse. By this point, Nagito knows without a doubt that Hajime is talentless. And yet when you try to spend time with him, he still says things like “I can’t believe you want to spend time with a worthless person like me”. Despite talking to someone talentless, he’s still insecure. He still calls himself worthless. He doesn’t act snobby or lord himself over Hajime. He’s just as self-loathing as he always is.

I could probably explain this better, but it’s 4 AM so. If something is unclear, ask. I will have proof. My proof is pretty indisputable. Otherwise I wouldn’t have formed this opinion.

Anyway, Nagito doesn’t hate talentless people. He’s not a fucking snob. People who characterize him like that just want an excuse to hate him and see him as a bad person, because they don’t want to admit that they hate him because of how his mental disorder makes him act. And they need a “that’s problematic” reason to hate a character, because simply not enjoying a character isn’t a valid enough reason to have an opinion, apparently. That, or they just weren’t bothering to pay attention to him at all, and only remember the one Funhouse conversation.

Nagito views himself as on the same level as talentless people. He doesn’t think he’s better than them, even if he doesn’t think that he’s worse. When he interacts with talentless people, he’s still just as humble and kind as he is to everyone else. Maybe he could stand up for himself better to talentless people, but that’s as far as I would take it. He doesn’t hate talentless people. That’s just dumb.

#I stayed up way too late to answer this #but people's dumb uninformed opinions of this game #keep me up at night

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viseralantlers · 3 years

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old friend (c!karl jacobs x reader)

takes place in episode 5 of tales ! The wild west one !

warnings: Injury, swearing, character death

Request: nope!

note: using Kit as the alternate name to avoid confusion and follow how the time travel thing works kinda !!!! If you don’t like it feel free to pick another one and fill it in ! I was mostly trying to keep it gender-neutral !! Sorry if it makes it difficult to understand : (

John led Karl around the small town to pick up people to help stop the hostile bandits he had the pleasure to meet when he first entered the saloon just a few hours ago. Now an eccentric band of characters were leaving William’s shop to head to their last stop, the bakery.

“Alright, so this is Kit!” John spoke with a slight drawl as Karl watched hesitantly as a head peaked up from behind the counter that had been covered in fresh loaves of bread. Karl paused at the sight, it was y/n. It couldn’t be, they had died on doomsday. He felt frozen to his spot as he studied their every move. Karl knew deep down that this wasn’t y/n. He’d seen these past versions, relatives of sorts. of his friends, but he’d never seen anyone that had looked like y/n. It had always been sapnap or technoblade, it was as if y/n died not only in the present but in every past he traveled to.

“Huh” they said as they wiped the flour from their hands on a black apron that had been tied around their neck and torso, stepping around to the group.

“Hey, Kit!” John was cut off as y/n jumped into a question.

“John, I thought you already picked up your stock for this week?” John scratched the back of his neck feeling Percy’s stare digging into the back of his head due to his newly revealed spending habits. Y/n, now Kit, continued talking before abruptly pausing when they finally noticed the crowd that had accumulated in their small bakery. “What’s all this about?” They said with a hint of anxiety slipping into their voice.

“Nothing to be worried about!” Karl jumped into action at the sign of y/n’s trepidation “We just wanted to ask if you wanted to help us take down those old democrat haters.” Karl nervously laughed.

“Oh! Yea, for sure bucko, I hate those guys as much as the next one of y’all.” They smile, a steady joyful expression breaking their former nervous demeanor. Karl felt strangely sick at the sight, at how much it reminded him of his old friend, or more so crush, before their passing. Though he also noted the change in your speech as a strong southern accent slipped in every once in a while, even using the word y’all.

“Good to hear, Kit!” John said happily as y/n and William shared a small conversation talking about stock and sales in the recent weeks. Karl trailed behind the group as he watched y/n converse with the crowd, their face filled with a wide smile, even daring to talk with Crops as if he wasn’t a convicted cannibal. They seemed as kind as ever, as an addicting presence as they used to be when the two lived together in L’manberg.

“Hey Karl!” y/n practically beamed at him as he passed them on the wooden prime path as tommy affectionately called it. “Niki and I made this new bakery together wanna come check it out!” They singsonged already reaching to grab at Karl’s sleeve. They smelled like freshly baked bread, their face dusted with a soft blush from the exertion of baking.

“Yea, sure!” Karl granted them his hand letting y/n pull him in to waste an entire day tasting pastries and sweets. He went home that night with flour handprints on his back and a warm feeling in his chest.

“Great shot!” Karl was pulled out of his trance as he watched Michael whiff the target by a few feet. Shaking his head he studied each member shoot with varying success. Though what really caught his eye was an aim that only rivaled y/n’s own coming from who John had called Kit, the baker that smiled exactly as y/n had every time he whispered a bordering on senseless joke into their ear on party island. He struggled to solidify the name Kit in his head as he watched Kit stick out their tongue as they focused their aim and hit a perfect bullseye. Kit smiled to themselves before they followed the party to the tents surrounding a warm crackling fire.

“Hey, Kit, right? Sorry I’m just never very good with names.” Karl said as he settled down beside the sweet-smelling baker.

“Yep!” They chirped with a relaxed face as they studied the flicking fire as it reached up towards the open sky. “Need something?” They asked turning to Karl. Karl blushed at the eye contact not knowing why he started the conversation in the first place.

“No, no, no,,, uh nothing, I just wanted to say good shooting back there I guess.” He laughed to himself playing with the ends of his sleeves.

“Thank you very much, kind stranger! Just a little hobby I picked up after they built that old shooting range. You know, I don’t think I ever caught your name back in my store?”

“It’s Karl.”

“Karrlllllllll” Kit drew out with a goofy face focusing on the l “Pretty name!” Karl felt stuck in time as the interaction mirrored one he had had with y/n.

“Kaaarrrrrrllllllll! Did I ever tell you your name is pretty?” Karl looked at y/n confused.

“No, but ,,,, I wouldn't quite call it that.” He blushed looking down at his feet.

“I would.” y/n nodded affirmatively “cause it’s Karl, not Carl, it’s pretty,,,,,, your pretty,, really.” y/n laughed at they looked up at the lazily passing clouds with a gentle smile plastered on their relaxed face.

Karl laughed away the small compliment after he looked back up into Kit’s e/c eyes as the group broke into talking about the coming showdown between the two sides.

“Kit, I think you should fight, Mason. You have the best shot out of us aside from me, of course.” Sherif Thompson spoke.

“That’s okay with me! Anything to stop those guys from ruining my pastries really.” Kit said as their interest was engulfed by the warmth from the fire once again. Karl felt fear dig its way into his chest as he looked at Kit’s side profile remembering the last time he had seen them like this.

“Karl go to your library, please. The grid can’t reach it” y/n called to Karl over the never-ending sounds of explosions and falling rubble. “I’ll be okay, I got my bow and my charisma.” y/n chuckled sadly.

“Come down with me! We can be safe together. This isn’t worth it, y/n!” Karl begged as he yelled over to their figure standing tall knowing they were on their last life, knowing that they were not going to go with Karl, knowing this could end in tragedy. Y/n turned with fresh tears trailing down their cheeks.

“This is my home, Karl.”

“I know.” Karl resigned to the fact that you weren’t gonna come with him. Weren’t gonna cower as L’manburg breathed its final breath full of smoke. “I love you.” He yelled as they gave a brave smile jumping down to join the fray. He had imprinted the side profile of their face as they stood solemn, lit by the cloudy sky and the flashes of explosions.

Suddenly it was high noon. Tension building in Karl’s chest as he called out the paces studying Kit walk away from Mason. The track record had been 2-0 he could only hope it would remain so positive.

Y/n had died from an arrow.

An arrow through the chest.

It had been thought to have been shot from Dream’s grid.

No one knew who did it. There was no way to know.

They bled out at the bottom of the crater,

alone,

As Karl huddled in the library,

Eyes shut tight.

Karl knew that in some twisted way, he might as well of fired that arrow himself.

FIRE!

They both fell to the ground, Mason dying upon impact due to the arrow directly piercing his heart. Kit wasn’t as lucky, the arrow had hit it’s target, but not quite a bullseye, the tip was lodged into their upper thigh.

“y/n!” Karl called out in a panic, the strange name not lost to the group around him. He rushed to Kit’s side as tears freely flowed down his face. “Does anyone have a potion?” Kit stared at him in confusion.

“Hey, I’ll be fine, not an artery or anything, just hurts.” they gave Karl a soft smile trying to reassure him of the small injury not being lethal.

“Yea, yea, sorry, I just.”

“y/n’s dead, Karl.” Quackity said as he walked into the secret room of the library that was hidden behind the bookshelf full of y/n’s favorite classics. Karl was frozen in fear as he studied Quackity’s face for any sign of this being some sick sadistic joke. He only found sorrow and loss.

“No, no, y/n, will be here any second! The fight is over, and they are okay, right? Right?” Karl begged Quackity as he felt his hands begin to shake, his breaths becoming ragged. Quackity sat down beside him letting Karl curl into his side. Karl hand’s gripped to his shirt as he sobbed. Quackity knew he couldn’t stop Karl’s pain, but he could comfort him through it.

“I guess, you just reminded me of an old friend.”

#karl jacobs x y/n #karl jacobs x reader #karl x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt x y/n #mcyt insert #mcyt imagine #mcyt fanfiction

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theendofeverafter · 4 years

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Apple White can be both complex and a bad person (long post)

The Ever After High fandom seems to be split on whether or not Apple White is a good character. Her stans say yes, obviously. Her haters say no, obviously. And Royal and Rebel sympathizers seem to be split among party lines. And who can blame them?

The writers dropped the ball with her. She was first a naïve, pampered 15-year-old who only knew and cared about her own Happily Ever After (HEA for future references). Once she started rooming with Raven, she had to come to terms with the fact that not everyone wanted to follow their destinies. Some people point to her journey to prove that it was hard for her to unlearn what she’d been taught...but I’m not sure she should be absolved for this.

Exhibit A: True Hearts Day

Do y’all remember this? Apple was horrible in THD. Ashlynn Ella is a princess, yes, but her destiny entailed her beloved mother dying prematurely, Ashlynn being forced into servitude, and eventually her own untimely death. Not to mention that she’d have to break up with the one person who understood her (seriously, read EAH’s Once Upon a Time book). Apple, knowing all of this--save for Ashlynn’s romance--makes a big stink about it, even doom and glooming on Blondie’s MirrorCast about the relationship. What kind of friend does that? It was earlier on in the series, but Apple should have kept it to herself if she didn’t think Ashlynn and Hunter should’ve been together. Apple is the sole reason Ashlynn and Hunter break up. When they get back together at the dance, Apple makes the whole thing all about herself. She loudly proclaims in front of everyone that she still doesn’t approve of their relationship and that she thinks Ashlynn is “doing the wrong thing”. Naïve or not, this is objectively bad behavior.

Exhibit B: Thronecoming

This sealed Apple’s status for me and other people. She calls Raven selfish for putting her HEA in destiny (totally ignoring the fact that nothing bad has happened to them yet) and embarrasses her in front of everyone. After Grimm manipulates Raven into wanting to sign, Apple doesn’t even care about her friend’s conflicted feelings. She prances around school, telling anyone who will listen (and even those who don’t want to) that Raven is condemning herself to a life of misery. She practically breathes down her neck as Raven starts her speech. After it’s revealed that Grimm tricked Raven, Apple admonishes him for tricking Raven into signing. Hypocritical much? Apple has been pressuring Raven to sign for the whole series. She even tries her hand at manipulation in Dragon Games. She has no right to talk.

Moving away from Raven, Apple also treats Briar poorly. Briar is Apple’s BFFA, and thus she presumably knows that Briar is less than thrilled about her destiny. When the reality of a 100-year sleep hits Briar, she reneges on her commitment to signing the Book. Apple, of course, is less than supportive. “We all have our part to play” is her response to her friend’s anguish at losing all her friends and family. Callousness seems to be Apple’s MO at this point. The show then faltered--Apple should have been the one to rescue Briar. It would have helped reform her character a little. But no, Briar has to save her friend, meaning Apple is let off the hook for not empathizing with Briar.

Exhibit C: Spring Unsprung

Apple was under a spell for most of this movie, but I’ll say this: there’s a pattern in the show of Apple not receiving any consequences for endangering the fairytale world. Her mother is queen, so obviously there’s unequal treatment on display, but it just makes her look more like a spoiled princess and less like a good character.

Exhibit D: Way Too Wonderland

Apple doesn’t do too many horrible things in this movie, but there is one thing I was unimpressed with: Lizzie tells her not to tell Courtly about their mission, but Apple does so anyway because *she* knows better. Never mind the fact that Apple has never been to Wonderland before, whereas Lizzie is the literal future Queen of Hearts! Lizzie acted suspicious of Courtly the entire time she was at their table. The narrators had just finished telling us how smart Apple was--couldn’t she deduce that less is more when it comes to talking to a stranger?

Exhibit E: Dragon Games

Why there are still Apple stans after this movie astounds me to this day (I’m 75% joking). Yes, Apple was manipulated by her mother (who’s a terrible person in her own right). Yes, she was manipulated by the Evil Queen. But at this point, Apple is 16 going on 17. She doesn’t need to be told *not* to break the glass and let the Greatest Evil The Fairytale World Has Ever Seen out of prison. She cannot be let off the hook like this. Raven has made it very clear that she has a bad relationship with her mother. In fact, I’m pretty sure she hinted at some abusive elements of her childhood in the books. Apple knows this. And yet, she does her very best to force mother and daughter to be together again. She once again ignores her friend’s feelings for her own gain. What she did to Raven in this movie was disgraceful.

Here’s a list of terrible things she did in this movie:

Tried to manipulate Raven into being “eviler”; broke the glass and let the Evil Queen escape; pretended like the Queen was a student instead of alerting Headmaster Grimm; played along with her mother’s scheme, putting civilian lives in danger; purposefully knocked Darling off her dragon in *mid-air*, causing the girl to seriously sprain her ankle; said “at least my mom will be proud of me” to Raven, a horrible thing to say to the girl with an evil, abusive mother; gave a half-assed apology to Raven in the Enchanted Forest; and showed no sign of turning herself in for freeing the Evil Queen.

Apple truly regressed in this movie. That’s the fault of the writers, of course--although it did make for a great move.

Exhibit F: Epic Winter

Apple wasn’t really in this movie much, but here you can see her privilege on display: Faybelle is the only person who gets in trouble for helping the Evil Queen. Why isn’t Apple forced to scrub the school too? Without her, none of this would have happened.

CONCLUSION

Apple is a complex character, yes. My writeup hopefully illustrated that fact. And of course, she does nice things in the books, movies, and webisodes too (I think Way Too Wonderland showed her strengths as a helpful, smart princess). But bad people can do nice things. And I truly believe that unless she makes amends for what she did, apologizes to her friends, and stops being a staunch Royal, she is a bad person for the reasons stated above. Or maybe not bad, but rather “not a nice person”.

If you’re still reading, let me know what you think! These are all my opinions, and you’re welcome to completely disagree. I write an EAH fanfiction called The End of Ever After. It’s about the characters’ final year at the school. You can find it here on Archive of our Own:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941786/chapters/57576310

Be warned: Apple is characterized as I see her in that story, so if you disagree with my strong stance against her, it might rub you the wrong way! But I hope you like it anyway :)

#ever after high #eah #apple white #Raven Queen #lizzie hearts #faybelle thorn #ashlynn ella #briar beauty

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always-winter-baby · 4 years

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feel free to add anything i missed, endgame haters.

This is a Wordpress post that I never posted about a Facebook post that I made last fall (2019) about how godawful Endgame was.

-------- I know I've been gone for a while and when I was here, I was writing about films I had watched. (Maybe I should start that.)

However, I am a HUGE fan of Marvel and their cinematic universe. I have the movies, the comics, the clothing, and far too much memorabilia to be considered a "casual" fan at this point. I've been reading comics for about twelve years and I started dedicating myself to the MCU around the end of Phase One.

That being said, it means everyone comes to me with their Marvel questions and everyone comes to me to see what I thought of each new film. And I don't give simple, "It was good. I really liked it," answers. I make complete strangers regret their own questions sometimes because I dive into the deep end immediately describing how they really pulled off the Mysterio "mind-bending" stuff fantastically, but how the story hinged really hard on Tony Stark when Peter in the comics stands on his own and Peter in the MCU should be able to as well.

I can give you speeches on the reason why Natasha's backstory would have been better established in The Winter Soldier than Age of Ultron or and how killing off Pietro in his first film did a disservice to Wanda's character, etc, etc. In the words of a person I passed by at work the other day, "I can talk the ears off a snake."

That's not the point of this post. That was just establishing that I am very dedicated and I Care deeply about these characters and this world.

That being said, when someone on Facebook not too long ago asked me to share my opinions on Avengers: Endgame, I asked him if he was really prepared for the novel I was going to spill on why I think that Endgame was a poorly written and directed film. He said his was. But his lack of any response to my novel was proof that he clearly was not.

However, for anyone else wondering, I copied that little book of a response and I'm posting it here. It's a little scrambled up (it was a facebook post so these things happen, okay?). I think it will still get the point across as to why I tell people that if I pulled the good parts of Endgame, I could make a really great thirty minute Avengers movie.

The post went as follows:

-Thor’s characterization was a three hour long fat joke. Thor had the most character growth out of anyone in Infinity War. His part was fantastic. Then they turned around and made everything about it completely idiotic. Thor has lived over a thousand years. He’s lost battles and lost countless, countless people before. Infinity War wasn’t the first time he made a mistake in battle that cost someone their life. He lost his entire family and almost all of friends and none of that turned him into lazy, sloppy, unshowered, fat Thor. I refuse to believe this time would magically break him. Character annihilation.

Banner has hated the Hulk for the entirety of Hulk’s existence. He’s talked about how exposed and vulnerable it makes him feel. He’s always been a quiet, shy, reclusive, and work-focused kind of guy. Now magically, he’s happy being Hulk 24/7, dabs, and takes selfies with kids? He’s hanging out in public as Hulk and drawing attention to himself? Sorry. Refuse to believe it. I know Professor Hulk is from the comics. It seems stupid and forced there too. I’m not of the opinion that just because something is found in comics that it’s necessarily a good thing. I’ve read plenty of bad comics as I’m sure any decent comic reader has.

-Tony isn’t awful. I actually think he’s done pretty well. No complaints.

-However, Pepper is awful. And it makes sense now that they’ve released the info that Gwyneth Paltrow just made up a lot of her own lines. She doesn’t know the character despite having played her for a decade. Pepper is always super cautious and she is constantly on Tony’s case about his heroic ventures, etc. Therefore, I find it incredibly hard to believe that she let him go without a fight after he “solved time travel.” I also find it absolutely impossible that she sits beside him as he’s dying and is peaceful enough to just tell Tony that he’s okay and he should rest. Per her character for the last decade, she should have been frantic. Of course it wouldn’t have been as sad and poetic an ending, but it would have been much more believable for the character.

-Clint. Meh. I can live with Clint, I think. I don’t love it or hate it. I am glad they reestablished his closeness with Natasha after AoU tried to erase it.

-Natasha. I actually like Natasha’s character in this one. Same as Tony, I think they wrote her without compromising her. Good for them. Even though I hate that they killed her off, I think that the final scene where she fights Clint is SO WELL DONE. (Except her father wasn’t named Ivan. Not even in the MCU. But whatever. Maybe Markus and McFeely know absolutely nothing about Russian names despite giving Natasha’s full name in CA:TWS. I’ll chalk it up to ignorance. Whatever.) HOWEVER, despite liking Natasha’s character and death scene, the death should not have happened. I don’t know if you’re a comic reader, but if you are, you know that the trip happens where you see the bad guy or a random person or whatever do a Bad Thing. Then later in the comic, when the Bad Thing comes into play again and there seems like absolutely no hope, the hero pulls out One Last Magic Trick. The hero manages to do what the previous person could not. And they Save the Day because they are the hero. And the hero is the one designed to give readers hope that we can overcome all odds, etc. It is literally the entire point of superhero stories to tell the stories that “realistic” books never could. We’ll come back to my complaint with Natasha’s death in a moment.

-Scott, Rhodey, Rocket, Carol were all fine. No complaints. But Okoye.

They made it out in promo that Okoye was going to have a much more significant part. She was barely in the thing. And I think it was a very missed opportunity. We saw T’Challa turn to dust. And we were told Shuri did (although, I would have paid much bigger money to see her alive and operating as The Black Panther. She’s assumed that mantle in the comics before so definitely not out of the realm of possibility.) I wanted them to show us what Wakanda would look like with half its population dusted and its ruler gone. Does M’Baku rule? What do Okoye and the Dora Milaje look like now without their King and who do they protect/defend? They had a great opportunity to show us how the world was faring after five years post-Snap, especially a place like Wakanda that rarely suffers any devastations due to their tech. Now without that protection, how are they handling the aftermath? Enormous missed opportunity.

-Steve. On my god. Where do I even start? Going into Endgame, Steve Rogers had the BEST story arc of anyone in the MCU. But here is where Marvel really shot themselves in the foot. They let the opinions of fans after Civil War severely alter their original plans for this film. (That’s a fact that’s been admitted by former Marvel employees. I didn’t make that up.). After Civil War came out, there were two strong opinions being voiced. 1) Fans who didn’t know the comics didn’t understand Sharon being there and didn’t like her quickly becoming Steve’s love interest. 2) Fans saw the always-present and ever-growing bond between Steve and Bucky and got bolder about their campaign that Steve and Bucky were a couple. Doesn’t matter if you’re for that or not. The fact of the matter is that the idea of them as a couple has A BIG FOLLOWING. I don’t think people were really pushing to see it become a real thing on screen or anything, but the execs at Marvel suddenly did this thing where they all quickly shouted “NO HOMO” really loudly and promptly dropped Bucky from as many scenes as possible. They admitted to creating distance between Steve and Bucky for this reason. And because Steve and Sharon didn’t get the reaction they wanted, they had Steve go back and get back with Peggy.

But let’s recap here and see if any of that makes sense for Steve Rogers.

—He and Bucky were “inseparable on both playground and battlefield.”

—He literally broke the law and went behind enemy lines against orders just in case he had even the slightest chance of finding and saving Bucky from a Hydra base. He didn’t even know if Bucky was still alive.

—He added Bucky to his elite team and they fought side by side until Bucky’s “death.” When Bucky “died,” Steve went from saying, “I don’t want to kill anyone. I don’t like bullies” to saying, “I’m not going to stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured.”

—Years later, when he realized Bucky was still alive, he literally stopped mid-fight and dropped all defenses. Later in the same film (on the helicarrier), he refuses to even fight Bucky. He drops his shield and was going to very willingly let Bucky kill him rather than fight him.

— When the Accords become a thing, Steve defied his own friends and 117 countries to get Bucky to safety. And then continues defying them with Bucky at his side because he is determined that Bucky deserves due process and a lawyer and help, not imprisonment.

— He helps Bucky get somewhere safe to hide and recover and visits him there. (Russos said they even discussed showing that Steve and Bucky were in regular contact between CW and IW.)

—He fights the Battle of Wakanda with Bucky and then gets to see him disintegrate right in front of him. It’s built up to be a very big moment. Bucky collapses into nothingness and Steve sits there touching Bucky’s dust remnants and with tears in his eyes. “Oh, God.”

—Then, magically comes Endgame and Steve is in a support group for people lost in the Snap and he’s grieving over PEGGY??? HE NEVER EVEN WENT ON A DATE WITH PEGGY. NOT ONE DATE. He kissed her ONE TIME very briefly 75+ years ago! HOW CAN HE BE SO SURE THEY WERE SOULMATES?! This is just awful writing.

— Then when everyone is brought back through the portals, Steve doesn’t even look for Bucky to make sure he’s there. They fight far away from one another. They never acknowledge the other one. These men have literally looked at each other before thinking that would be the last face they ever saw and then at the Battle to End All Things, they don’t even glance around to see if the other is present.

— Steve literally barely says goodbye to Bucky. He fought and was willing to die for the man, but now he is in such a rush to get back to that one girl he kissed that one time that he forsakes the people he should care about. (Sebastian Stan says he questioned this to the Russos and was actually told to just imagine Steve and Bucky must have talked it over offscreen and Sebastian tried to fight it, but was shot down.)

— Steve jumps in a time machine and goes back to live with his supposed soulmate thus creating an alternate timeline.

I have a real problem with this. A man who has been selfless his entire life chose to go and be selfish for 75+ years instead of helping anyone. This man lives to fight injustices and we are supposed to forget that? In order to believe that he went back to a woman he didn’t know that well and who already had a husband/children. CA:TWS showed that she had lived a happy life. She told him she only regretted that he didn’t get to live his. She didn’t regret them not getting to spend theirs together. And he didn’t seem to either. He was actively moving forward with his life. Thus the reason for Sharon.

Anyway, his entire story arc which is based around him being partners with Bucky and him being selfless got absolutely destroyed when he went back in the time machine and just ran away from everything he had built.

Which seems more likely? That everything in the three Cap films and IW was wrong about his character? Or that Endgame just slapped a big “No Homo” sticker on the script and did whatever they could possibly do to make sure fans could not say that Steve and Bucky were a thing?

Furthermore, I have no problem with Sam becoming the next Cap. I have a big problem with them doing it if the reason was to further the sever the ties between Steve and Bucky.

-And the Russos said that Bucky couldn’t be Cap because his mind had been compromised and that he couldn’t be trusted with a weapon. Which means that Bucky’s whole recovery story was what? A lie? They established that Bucky was really a great guy and not a terrible terrorist. And they said Shuri fixed his mind. And we still can’t trust the guy with the shield?

So either Shuri failed dramatically even though we saw her talent and progress with him in Black Panther and IW, Bucky is now magically “too broken,” or the writers and directors are stupid. Your call, I guess.

They literally foreshadowed Bucky!Cap in all three Cap films. Bucky handles the shield in ALL THREE FILMS. But now he can’t be trusted with a weapon? Now he’s dangerous? He literally fought the battle of Wakanda with knives and an assault rifle. The shield is a DEFENSE weapon. So this excuse is the flimsiest argument ever and says horrible things about putting trust/faith in people after they’ve been victims and recovered from trauma. Gross.

-At least they FINALLY got Scarlet Witch right. I’ve been waiting to see my favorite Avenger done right for years. No complaints here except it took them long enough.

-Let’s not even discuss how their time travel ideas and theories are a MESS. Plot holes everywhere. (Steve would have created a new time line by going back. Did he just magically put the aether back in Jane? Did he have to kick Red Skull’s ass again on Vormir because I can’t imagine he would just stand by idly. This stuff would take me too long to even add onto here.)

-But back to Natasha. If it’s a “soul for a soul,” then when Steve returned the soul stone, he should have gotten Natasha back. Apparently a lot of fans saw this plot hole because they asked the Russos about it and the response they seriously got was something to the idea of, “No, you can’t do that. It doesn’t work that way.” Which WHY NOT? (Apparently because of poor writing.)

-Also not bitter (yeah right) that Tony got this big deal send off and everyone forgot about Natasha half an hour after she died. Shouldn’t the big send off at the end have been for both of them?!?! Would that have been SO hard?!

-Should I even discuss the fact that for some stupid reason Steve goes back in time and the serum stops working? Why does he age? Thor establishes in AoU that he doesn’t think Steve is mortal. And Peggy says in CA:TFA that Steve’s cells regenerate at four times the rate of average human cells. So he should still be fairly young even if he went back to the 40s. He shouldn’t start to age like a regular human just because he time traveled. He didn’t travel back to before he got the serum. I literally said, “No,” angrily the second they showed the back of Steve when he was sitting on that bench at the end. The other people in the theater turned to look at me and I was already pissed as hell and the movie wasn’t even over yet.

-Nebula having to kill her last self just seemed sloppy and cliche. I wasn’t impressed. That character had been through hell. She is the one who really turns the tides in in the Infinity Saga comics so for her to get such poor treatment in the film? SHE should have been the one to kill Thanos. I know what Thor said, but Nebula literally has a lifetime of torture to make up for and she would have gotten some small consolation in avenging the death of her sister. GUH. THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY. SHE DESERVED THIS.

-So we really just backtracked and retconned Gamora’s whole story like that, huh? I’m sure James Gunn is thrilled. (I’m joking. I’d be annoyed to high heavens if I were him.) Gunn had literally written this character’s story arc and progression and the Russos and Markus/McFeely took over and then literally wrote the story equivalent of “and then they all died” with Gamora’s story. Such a jerk move and I sincerely hope Gunn finds a way to make GotG Vol 3 work out really well despite this.

I’m sure there’s more I’m unhappy with, but you get my point. I had high hopes for this film and they did not deliver.

It’s been months and I am still so immensely disappointed in Endgame. I expected the people who had written such great films in the past to deliver with another great film and they did not.

It wasn’t a completely awful film though. I thought they did a really good job with Doctor Strange and Wanda (finally!). And I loved Steve lifting Mjölnir! Carol’s short hair made me hot and bothered. So the film had a few perks.

I have friends who liked the film until I started pointing out its flaws. Sorry, not sorry. I'm glad Marvel broke box office records, but I'm not going to lie to anyone and say it was with a great film.

They are ----- And look, I never posted it on my blog because the rant ends there mid sentence and was never completed, but I think it’s safe to say I’m not happy. That great cinematic masterpiece is a mockery of good character arcs. Anyone is welcome to try, but I’m unlikely to change my mind.

ETA: Since writing this, I have found multiple things about Tony’s character that upset me too.

#marvel #avengers #endgame #personal #rant #social media #steve rogers #bucky barnes #thor odinson #natasha romanoff #tony stark #shuri

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polygamyff · 4 years

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30. Part 4

I am feeling it right now, I just feel the nerves hitting me. My dad is so cool about everything but I don’t know how he does it, he is used to doing such things and has opened many of hotels, this is my first so I am scared that something will go wrong. I have been side tracked since Robyn came around in my life, I haven’t been here as much as I wanted to be “you look so nervous, don’t be. I know it’s a lot but you have been working towards this for years” Ally said to me while her head is in her Macbook, she has been busy “it’s been a long time coming but I have so much to contend with. I ain’t slept, I lied to Robyn and said I did but I couldn’t. Bryan done put make up on me, can you notice?” Ally looked up from her laptop “no, where? I mean your freckles are there” that is what I wanted to hear “that is good, I am just on adrenaline right now, it’s just a lot Ally. Fuck me, there is people out there ready to judge me so I need it go perfect, how is things?” looking down at my watch “fine, did you read your speech? I mean I did send it you” I paused thinking “you what?” I slapped my forehead “I didn’t I am going to do just fine, I am sure of it” feeling a hand on my arm “my baby boy, look at you. Maurice, I am so happy for you. Your dad has done nothing but be strict with you” hugging my mom back “you think? He has been hard on me but for the right reasons, I am glad you are here mom” pressing a kiss to the top of her head “same, I just want the best for you. I always worry about you, you think I don’t but I do. I barely see you” placing my arm around my mom “you know me, I am busy but I am always here for you mom and you know this, don’t think I ain’t. Just I got my life in Cali now I guess” I know that she does miss me a lot “how is she?” looking down at my mom “who?” I questioned “my grand baby that I know is here” letting out an oh “she is ok, she will be there” seeing my dad wave me over “can I see her?” moving away from my mom “I don’t know, I hope so. I need to go and see to dad.”

Ally followed behind me as I made my way to my dad “what’s up?” my dad placed his hand on my back “you need to take pictures son with the Saudi prince and his family, come” I be so lost “we will be leaving soon yes?” we will be late “yes we will be leaving” grabbing my suit jacket from Ally, luckily she got it for me. I swear she was on her laptop and then comes out with my jacket out of nowhere “Maurice, I got your daughter a gift from me. From my family to yours” the photographer is here, I better fix my jacket “you didn’t need too” shaking his hand after put my suit jacket on, he has his hand out to me “look there my friend” the Saudi prince said, looking at the camera and smiling. He waved over someone, letting his hand go “this is real gold” he opened the box “for your daughter, Reign in Arabic. Your daughter is always welcome here” I be thinking what this guy wants from me “thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you” smiling over at his wife “thank you” bowing my head to her “you bought things for my kids, I remember. Come, we take pictures in my home” closing the box, this was nice of him to do.

I have never seen so many Rolls Royce, I am sure there is thirty altogether, I am shocked to see but there is a lot of us and there is two spaces in the back each. Times like this I kind of wish Robyn was with me, that she was sat with me in the back but I guess I am stuck with my sister but it is better than being alone “this is just crazy, did we take every Rolls Royce in Dubai?” Nalah came up from behind me “probably, I didn’t get to ask how did you like the Prince’ home? It’s different ain’t it?” I chuckled “very, it’s so clean though and I mean I felt like they watch your every move and also no drinking. How the hell else do I get through my day but all is well, I am mentally here” Nalah is so dramatic, she is nervous because I will be coming at her about this shit if it falls through “I have informed Jay to start making them leave, so you both should arrive at the same time” Ally said, nodding my head breathing “look at my phone” Nalah grabbed my arm, looking at Nalah’ phone as she took the picture of us “my baby brother” she said a loud as she typed in “this is us” the Rolls Royce are coming around and one by one we are getting into the cars, these door automatically open too, that is crazy. Getting into the car and shuffled along, pulling my pants down a little as I got comfy in the car. I am stressed as fuck “has Naomi arrived? You should know” I asked “she is here, mom spoke to her. She said that Robyn is here and I don’t want trouble on my son’ day, Naomi asked if Robyn will be walking the red carpet and mom said yes. From what I know, her family will arrive first but you know her, she will purposely wait until you come” I can imagine so “mom sticking up for Robyn huh?” I laughed “she wants to see Reign, dad told her to leave it” my mom will end up going up to Robyn, I got a feeling.

My mom is fussing, she is acting like I can’t carry Reign when I can but then again my tits will probably fall out but Adam has put tit tape down, it won’t move. I honestly feel like I am going to be escorted out of this event, I mean what the fuck are they going to think of me. Placing the pacifier in my mouth as I picked up Reign, resting Reign on my arm and using my free hand to pull the pacifier out of my mouth and place it in hers “my beautiful princess” placing her over my shoulder, turning around slowly as I placed my hand behind her head. She always tries to move her head back now, looking to the side of me smiling, like now. She is wanting to look at me “hey baby, you want to see mommy yeah” Reign’ smile grew and her pacifier spat out and fell onto the floor “another one on the floor” pressing kisses to her cheek “we need to go now, like now. People, come on” Jay came in clapping his hands “I ain’t being disrespectful Robyn, and you can tell Maurice this but if you was my baby mother I would be on my knees, you are so beautiful” I chuckled shaking my head “I mean who the hell wouldn’t want to come home to this!” Jay is doing too much “I am telling Maurice this” Reign’ little hand placed onto my chest, she means so much to me. Just her little touch to my skin, to think she was in my stomach at one point “I think that she doesn’t listen to me, and men are going to stare!” here my dad goes “Thomas, stop!” here they both go “I think he jealous that both his wife and daughter are beautiful, and Terry you don’t look your age, you can still get it” my eyes bulged out “you what!” my dad spat, my mom put her hand on his shoulder “stop, let’s just go” Jay about to get beat up real soon.

He got us Rolls Royce’s, he is so damn flashy “Robyn Willis” the drive came over to me “uh, yes” I said in a whisper, Leon and I just stared at each other “please follow me” looking behind me “shall I take Reign?” I can’t forget my daughter “Robyn, listen to me. You go and have fun, me and your father will be here with her. If she gets really upset then we will say, you go. We will be behind you” Lenny looked at me “ok, I will be with your parents and Reign because I can’t leave Reign, Jay will be with you. Maurice wanted Reign and Robyn safe, I ain’t taking no chances so we splitting it” Lenny is really not playing any games “oh ok, he really said that?” Lenny nodded his head “you both mean so much to him, he’s made that clear of course. Let’s go now, we are supposed to meet at the some point but I think we are late” nodding my head, looking at Reign and my parents before I went “stay close though ok?” I want my daughter close “we will, have fun baby” I giggled as I walked off “let’s go beautiful” Leon held out my clutch “stop it, let me not ruin my high bun by getting in this car” also I don’t want my tits out and my ass showing.

I randomly shrieked out “what bitch?” Leon said, placing my hand up “I am so sorry, I just got nervous randomly. I needed to let it out, talk to me quick” I think I am going to have a panic attack “erm, what the hell erm. So you will be soon seeing Maurice, and friend. Look what I bought you” looking over at Leon “my engagement ring!” I spat “yes, I saw it on your bed and I know you have been rushing around. I want people to know how secure you are and I think you forgot” placing my hand over my mouth “I did forget, thank you so much Leon. What would I do without you!? My beautiful friend” pressing a kiss to his cheek “well girl, you’re a mess without me. Just put it on your finger, don’t leave such things laying around either” placing my ring back on “it’s not that, so when I was deciding on what to wear, Maurice rang and my mind got side tracked. Thank you!” such a life saver “we are close, can you hear the commotion? Also we are on the private road now. Lord knows I am hated and I am going to be there” this is a lot “and bitch, you listen to me. You are riding his dick, you got that queen status. Bitch, you are Sarabi right now. You are walking through all them haters, no matter what. You both love each other and he wants you there. Who cares for the rest” Leon is right, Maurice wants me there and he has asked for me to be there.

There is so many luxury cars here and I feel we are very much at the back “Maurice’ hotel is beautiful. Have you seen it, those spot lights make it look so dramatic. Are you going to be stood with him through it all!?” Leon asked, his face is pressed against the window “I am not sure Leon, I need to see him first. I think we are a little late too” Leon moved his face away from the window “oh shit, you think you missed his moment?” I shrugged “I am not sure because he text me saying his phone will be with Ally, I wasn’t happy but he said he doesn’t have the time and she can keep an eye on it but if I need him she will get him straight away so what can I say but I hope I haven’t” we are rather caught up in traffic, seeing Jay run by the car, he was in another car behind us “and where is he going? Ok this is a mess” I think I would like to miss the carpet so this is a good thing to me “that is sad on him if you have missed it you know, he wanted you there and you knew that, how the hell can we be that late?” Leon is right, I kind of feel bad now.

I am not sure if it was timed like this but to see Noami I felt a type of way about it, looking down at her hand and she has her ring on. It’s like everything felt in slow motion, hearing these people talking to me and mine and Noami’ eyes met. She is making it worse for me, and she knows it. I am actually being nice to her, I have been letting her off and she is doing this to me. Hakim came into my eye-view and he is so smug, but why. On my day, this is my day and they shouldn’t be on this carpet right now. My face softened as I see Malik next to Hakim, this can’t be. Looking around me and I had to double take as Kellen and Tiffany walked by me, my eyes never left his as they both walked along “Maurice, hey! Look at me!” Nalah spat “no” Shawn gripped my arm “no, you leave it” I want to kill him “I know” my dad said “I know, you don’t say anything, I know. You do what you need to do, it’s all for show now son. You walk now” my dad walked off “Maurice, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it, seriously” rubbing my face “where is she!?” glaring over at Jay “down there, I came running over. We are stuck in the damn traffic” looking down the rows of cars “Maurice you need to walk, this is your time” Lorraine said, licking my top lip “I will sort it, go!” Nalah spat, I don’t even want to walk this thing anymore “this is you Maurice, you can do it bro. You got this, let them hate. Come on!” Shawn patted my back.

Ally smiled at me “go on” I guess I am doing this alone, this gives me bad vibes every time, I just remember it all from my childhood with my dad and I hated it. My dad looks so proud, turning around to the cameras. I have had so many sponsors for this, I have linked many businesses to this hotel so it is a big thing. Looking to the side of me as the Saudi prince walked over to me, the shouting is just giving me a headache already “my friend” he shook my hand and then we posed for pictures, smiling wide as the pictures were taken. I never know what cameras to look at “come!” the Saudi prince shouted, he is shouting my dad over “proud of you son!” my dad really just kissed my cheek, shaking my head laughing “really?” he is a little too excited, biting my bottom lip looking at the cameras. Squinting my eyes from the flashing, I had to look twice. Seeing my sister waving her arms around, my face softened and I felt my heart nose dive, like I felt my heart just beat out of my chest, Robyn is here. Watching her decline Nalah from making her go, moving away from both my dad and the prince. She looks so beautiful, like no other shit matters right now. I would run to her but I don’t want to be too dramatic “Robyn!” placing both of my hands at the side of her face “you came so quick?” I am so happy to see her “I did, I came rushing. I power walked here, Nalah told me. You are upset” shaking my head as I closed my eyes “I’m good, you’re here” opening my eyes, I thought she wouldn’t come to this part and she would shy away from me and leave me with the mess. Robyn placed her hand over mine “they wanted me to go there to you, I got a little scared. You’re making me sad, what is it?” moving my hands away from her face “just you being here, you look so beautiful. I rather you go back now, nobody should see such beauty” Nalah touched my arm “you need to get on with it” I am just so happy, I am so happy she is here.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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sirjustice251-blog · 4 years

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Dredger new suggestion dude

Yellow hurled potato gives thick/fat gadgets/machines while white give sleek, so the choice yours. Most big stereos are made using kunde placed in dough, sewer water or chaff were the boom process done with spitting thick saliva many people while good xmas lights using in local dialect called osuga seeds while you hurl them with cold sewer water and boom ya xmas lights dude.

The dredger mentioned below used to dig holes across the earth crust from below can be made to dig from up above to below where the overlapping shaft at the end age has grills that another made like applying on the body oil can or stainless steal water bottle looks likes but thins towards the hind part and as well can miss the above grills but has like the tank small opening section to reach inside like with battery replacement and repair and so forth and so on where the above is WI-FI controlled as in the links below, Drum major instinct to guide us bro

http://www.china-bottles.com/metal-bottle/stainless-steel-water-bottle/vacuum-insulated-car-tumbler-cup-with-spill.html

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQrk5dITMESivk1tKiPrS4GP0hHRvAy_Bg_3eKq6s3nrUgdxvJM&usqp=CAU

https://dir.indiamart.com/impcat/oil-drums.html

The long tall phone boosters should be removed as pay-Tv and internet lacks such but got the same technology, these boosters returns peoples information to the enemy which is Russia as when their is anything tall within the estate than in the CBD inculcates a bad spirit of disrespect among teens to the aged as people tend to fear tall people out of nothing as it cans the tall people pride themselves out of the above long booster spirit just within the estate as u don’t go down town to locate 1 but just within. In developed world such boosters aint around so the respect if u did not know dude. Go slow let the white man tell u this cause they had innovation from onset. But mostly considered, if u love tall women or men, kinda, u love kids, short people Korea, big biceps people, kid haters,fat people like west Africa and so forth and so on. The booster got a spirits that moves along the roads at night, no kidding dude, Siriasi bro. False images as they control the world as boosters do to ICT.

Low speed gear is stronger than high speed of equal price, so if place on a truck can carry much good than the later but u can buy 1 high speed gear then connect to the shaft that the motor of the low speed gear rotates to carry much load if u did not have much money to buy the big gear like 4 a bus or a truck and save big dude, Got to know this homey. As in the below link bro

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/china-low-speed-high-torque-hydraulic_60194320604.html

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/high-speed-gear-reducer-gearbox-reducer_60207918001.html

Ecclesiastic 4, okwaju seed when soaked the lake water goes down as the lands that hold the water expands towards to reduce the water line b4 it can burst to get to like nearby cities along the line of weakness like Lake Victoria with Kakamega city and many cities along the great lakes of USA like Chicago. Koch chwa, worker and vineyard parable, mfalme wa yawhodi or lost coin parable to remind us of Christ sayings dude.

No miracle can happen that u do this and that with excuse that u wanted God to speak or send his prophets again to warn us now that we got ict to store such 4 future generation will not happen as u got the same along time but delude those u colonized u did not have such. No land can be created or new climatic conditions, beauty is every nation has learnt how to make machines so, will save that money they used to buy the same as much with some artificial foods. The gimmick is to reduce population to meet ya GDP if your nation got large population u cant feed after along period of time like 10-20 years like by half where their are laws baring women to give birth no unless they are 30 years but with 1 or 2 kids not as previous as u wanted. And the above machine bought on credit not on cash as long ago stressing many a citizens giving them pressure not able to enjoy their lives. Even salvation cant do the above, u want as u have known it aint God making the machines but the devil making our lives livable period dude. Nations championing high populations to other nations to sell their machines will be caught off-guard when those nations have learnt the above stopping the above hidden gimmicks once and 4 good 4 the better.

Certain young man helped the city but his knowledge/wisdom no-longer heeded, Henepin county, MN- heaven on earth dude. Yath, dawa, medication, Manhattan, German with Samson, ther, cow with Jesus, Rabat with Moses, how to make hidden treasure triggering migration and like SA economy, Butler county, tea made in boom process, Norway with artificial made natural gas, Wichita with weed parable, devil, u got condom why give birth to kids u cant father to disturb others with during judgement that guided me dude. Malachi 4 pitch darkness with dubious drone business in lake, sea or Mt areas. Britain print money, Kansas was Egypt along time, boxer, reason why Whites hate roots of david as he guided people in his saying rather a blessing in disguise to get him off fire in hell where the white man changed the same a man after my own heart so many hurl stones on people to be another said above as God talk to them personally to be acquitted out of fire 4 hurling people with stones hurting them even if they did not repent.

2goinvoice money are plane fall money and with the security measure placed above such atrophies, 1 reason 4 its removal if u did not know not and sunk ships as well while bulish or binomo and more are money from pockets of arrested 4 life in prisons or hard drug money from the pockets of arrested to be taken in jail or shot.

Arnold Schwarzenegger slept with house wife? 1 tells me the same but its beautiful and locate 1 if u got the extension of this syndrome, where people have an eye on ya maybe after what u have done good or future hope with u. If u sleep with such your picture get off people, so they live u all alone and many people wonder, he was a man of the people who attracted many to him but has been left free noways, reason being the above as many advised to do the same. Some good, Mr white has tought people to be like bad b4 they start giving ya names. Get lost off peoples mind or memory dude. Mathew 5 to bring us home, reason why David slept with Uriah's wife if u did not know.

Since the innovation of Nyamau, now they don’t give a damn but still sit around wanting to now if people of not all that tall height loves them as well as those younger in age to them as their minds have been changed as the grown ups they love knows nothing as far as invention is corned that has now settled their minds to liberty so wants the not short people but in pretense. Life aint about maturity but how to be self-sufficient and the 1 who can give a woman that takes the day and 1 who is fast at defending such wealth and their well-being as security with Military. Nyamau now sets as free to love the age who are ladden in pure jealousy as they have investigated who insists on natural plantations to set them free after being marketed which with the boom process aint the case, cause with 1 buying of such foods can take ya even 4 centuries without buy again from the producing nation as with tea, coffee or cocoa as u set a side some KG to make tomorrow in the boom process, again and again making such producing nations poor out of no knew purchase of such cash-crops. So dude think twice with the aged in power as they don’t think big.

Pepsi cola or coca cola home of Origin link below

https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&q=pepsi+from+which+country&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&hs=tYW&ei=YwbrXqLDLIyVkgWJoZeQDw&q=coca+cola+from+which+country&oq=coca+cola+from+which+country&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQA1AAWABgmWgAcAB4AIAB3QOIAbQGkgEFMy0xLjGYAQCgAQGqAQdnd3Mtd2l6&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwjigP2R24rqAhWMiqQKHYnQBfIQ4dUDCAs&uact=5

It will not be over as u think, until Mr Hindu stops that he knows much or gets to his own nation is when me, KEVINELSON, will say its over and to be well with us rather such later speeches are senseless and of no magnitude but of hunger dude, Got me bro. Cause it crystal clear now they are looking 4 places to eat with their kids in turmoil with those they hope would succumb to their demands.

If u kinda, fool 1 who has some spirit in him of helping hand or discerning u develop swollen face if u don’t stop but to them they know not that hinders their progress.

You can hurl the sacrifice in the boom process or mixture with like cut or mixed with water banana, sweet potato, cassava, onions, oranges, seldom apple seeds to make some foods, chemicals or machines that cant be made with normal pissing of saliva or hurl water like petrol, diesel, jet fuel, detergents, cooking oil and even houses as cars.

Kansas knows that when Internet and military vehicle can be made with any nation to finish USA then tourist and international education remains the only gateway to USA growth, so hampering the same thinking they got cooking oil from sunflower, wheat and corn but to be fools cooking oil can be made like above and Canada wheat via cargo drone can be sold to Africa cheaply and easily not as previously taken. In the Notorious movie Confrontation above, the man shakes the head to demarcate how rye made bread doe when u glance at them and not knowing NY got the same so thought will overtake NY when the above happens and get to Carli4nia to pluck like Euphobia using the drone which many now knows to bar many people from KS but alas the explained above eliminates such so left stranded.

The E-cargo drone explained above can work even during the day well not to be seen in dubious businesses to get by in nations which high mountains, lakes and sea as the drone not seen by public in high mt like Mt kenya, Kilimanjaro and like Ruwenzori and on lakes and seas u get to meet it off land using like a speed boat to take the off load and like in Kenya the luo, coast people and kikuyu are reaping out of that as portrayed below.

Don’t say i wanna kill ya the way i talk, give me my due if u wanna, cause i don’t wanna sit with ya again and that’s what u are bringing as other Eu nations and Asia nations got the same as Africa, so how will we kill ya. Stay away from me u of little faith/mind as Christ confused.

Most online cash are ransom to pay later when their economy atrophies as liquid cash eliminated, scratch my back i scratch yours and even to accommodate their own and even involves blood sacrifice so take heed dude, live within ya means as they can put that to create many deaths to facilitate casket exhumation to bring about curse and funerals to attract people from outside when showcased on like you-tube movies, that’s their hidden agendas dude.

The E-cargo drone that can carry the shaft 4 the crust dredger as well not only targets the military bases of the world to overtake those nations either shortly a few meters to the earth crust the place detonators or bombs to explode the area b4 the conquer or blow siren gas to kill b4 they do the same but as well as Central banks of major cities of the world, where they still at once and even like an economy of an African nation 4 like 200 years they put on world investment to win the women they want and a big security to them that can never fail, if they invest in E-airlines that uses fuel not, E-buses, motor bikes, cabs and hotels as well as water plants and bakeries and even Radio and Tv stations as much as buying a pay-TV from a manufacturing under their own wanted name to operate and Brazil, India and Russia are major stakeholders in this plan and even the jewelry storage buildings of the world b4 Gold or Silva was known how to make dude.

The innoson motors car picture below i categorically told them to get off the photo and cut from PS4 then hurl the sacrifice with face towel or cut sweet potato which they did and now the car company is above 5 years old yet they investigate me with such to threaten my life instead of paying me as i told them to tell them more personally. The black looking like Mercedes Benz 1 car.The price of selfish seekers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afABqsvMJzE

Now many nations got what i takes and u wont get their as groups as earlier purported but as individuals who qualifies not wanting to hang on the sweet of others as invention is 1 mans sweet not a community cause u know not who gave him the same. Canada, Russia, Japan got theirs countries of few people but with the latest knowing unknown technologies as Internet, pay TV and military vehicles they lack man-power to working those areas so offers the above to the interested on personal ground not as a community as earlier perceived. And moreover they don’t buy like cooking cylinder gas or coal or electricity as we got alternator generator to replace which if once bought no extra-cost of maintenance. Even Gold and jewelries they buy not to save their countries expenditure to use to to create other employment ventures that needs to be filled dude synonymous with nations like Canada and Russia of few population kinda now they are happy not wild as b4 on the media. No groupies or groupie love as in the song link below

https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&q=groupie+love+snoop&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

A new debate in town, now saying i want to buy the cargo drone below trading at $ 50,000 then modify the container to look like a bus and take people to different cities to make much free money yet it lies with them cause the govt should own such which eliminates their agendas with the E-buses and cars as planned earlier even taking money from people via covid apparatus and organised petty theft which now proves futile, so they are very angry at pointing fingers and looking at who to ambush. Even the wooden type of casket can have many serial numbers like on the top 1, each sides and below 1 to avoid casket exhumations which leads to the vices explained above if we did not know as the serial is taken after every morgue exist and posted online 4 us to check later if the casket to be lowered down was exhumed and even with juacali made ones they can buy side woods, below and upper casing wood serial no incorporated/circumscribed and use the mind to place it in the middle and not cut it and the above vices totally eliminated as in the link below. Worker and vineyard parable another version to bring close the above realities and Christ sayings meaning not ya own taking us nowhere dude. People or companies making such woods should be able to do the above as Govt intervenes to solve the above decay

https://www.google.com/search?q=cargo+drone+images&client=opera&hs=Sl9&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=gQAH8Ay3TeTGoM%253A%252CJ3EeopGv1IR9-M%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kTVgFHXWxzMvuQSB0KasmEjwKxpdA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwja2dXalIjqAhX7A2MBHcrpCpEQ9QEwAXoECAoQFw&biw=984&bih=658#imgrc=gQAH8Ay3TeTGoM:

https://www.google.com/search?q=wooden+casket+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjpzNrclIjqAhWT_4UKHdccDiUQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=wooden+casket+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoFCAAQsQM6AggAOgUIABCDAToECAAQQzoHCAAQsQMQQzoECAAQHjoGCAAQBRAeUObjGliTmhtg5ZsbaABwAHgAgAHJAYgB4hySAQYwLjE4LjKYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZw&sclient=img&ei=HrDpXunFA5P_lwTXubioAg&bih=658&biw=984&client=opera&hs=Sl9

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.vox-cdn.com%2Fthumbor%2Ft_Fj-uPajWZe2Wc9Mh4mnfKUvOQ%3D%2F1400x788%2Ffilters%3Aformat(jpeg)%2Fcdn.vox-cdn.com%2Fuploads%2Fchorus_asset%2Ffile%2F16330253%2F0531_Natilus_one_engine_2T_4A.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theverge.com%2F2019%2F6%2F10%2F18657150%2Fautonomous-cargo-drones-delivery-boeing-aircraft-faa-regulation&tbnid=XP2aIYcbkbPRdM&vet=12ahUKEwjpzNrclIjqAhWT_4UKHdccDiUQMygCegUIARDRAQ..i&docid=LpzzgNt-Mz00XM&w=1400&h=788&q=cargo%20drone%20images&client=opera&ved=2ahUKEwjpzNrclIjqAhWT_4UKHdccDiUQMygCegUIARDRAQ

With the saucer technology described below taking many heads to another far planet to carry many people, they should not sit as will occupy much space to carry few people, so to maximize space to carry many people the above technique in the link below should be fully employed where only at meal time and shower time u r allowed off ya cabinet to do the same b4 taken back to allow others to the same u have done and again and again till all get the same service u took by getting off ya cabinet. People placed sleeping on the cabinet like dead people to facilitate the explained above so it be fruitful and disgusting so u never want to be in like a plane again.

https://www.hitechlockers.com/best-mobile-phone-lockers-2019/

Kebi, asking a woman, that tiny boy, has he ever done this to ya,the woman get stranded as to make her understand, makes like letter O with his 1st 2 fingers from the thumb and kinda, inserting the middle finger from the other hand into it as back and forth b4 the woman sends him away. What is that joke or its meaning altogether people. Get to answer me period!!!!

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literarygoon · 4 years

Photo

So,

When trans rights activists began to mobilize in opposition to feminist thinker Meghan Murphy's appearance at the Toronto Public Library in October 2019, I was only half-interested in the controversy. Several literary figures I admire had become swept up in the pseudo-religious fervor, and I was shocked to see them enthusiastically championing censorship. I figured this person they were protesting must be some ghoulish anti-intellectual, spewing hate speech and vilifying marginalized communities. I assumed that a quick Google search would result in a list of published works worthy of this sort of opposition, or maybe news items about her provocative past.

Imagine my surprise, then, to learn that not only was Murphy innocent of the hate speech accusations she was being doggy-piled with, she was actually advocating on behalf of marginalized populations and rape victims — something I'm personally passionate about. Her highest profile dust-up was with a pedophile trans activist named Jessica Yaniv, a true villain if there ever was one, and now she was facing death threats for publicly questioning whether convicted child killers who self-identify as female should be allowed in women's prisons. As far as I could tell, she was a strong-willed social crusader making a real positive impact in the world.

So how come everyone was treating her like the Antichrist?

In the week leading up the event, I followed the controversy via Twitter and began to educate myself on the subject being discussed: trans rights. I learned that this new slur "TERF" is an acronym for "trans exclusionary radical feminist", though it was being used as a catch-all for anyone who disagreed with their rhetoric, and it wasn't immediately apparent what trans people were being excluded from. I learned that "dead-naming" someone means using someone's name from before they transitioned (like calling trans icon Caitlin Jenner by her birth name Bruce) and that there were a few koan-like mantras everyone felt strongly about: "Trans rights are human rights" and "trans women are women."

As I engaged on Twitter, posting a few comments and questions, I became increasingly aware of how toxic this discourse was. These trans rights activists were looking for people to crucify, drunk on self-righteousness, and were incapable of having a nuanced conversation about this new worldview they were wielding like a weapon. As I consumed their vitriol, following accounts on either side of the spectrum, it occurred to me that all of this anger wasn't only being funnelled towards anti-trans bigots. It was also sliming well-meaning leftists who weren't sufficiently up to date on how this conversation has been progressing (learn your acronyms!) and people blissfully unaware that this esoteric social justice battle is even happening. According to their standards, not only was I a TERF but so was everybody else in my family, from my toddler niece all the way up to my grandparents. We all believe in something we've been taught since childhood, biological sex, and that makes us the enemy.

But how could I make my own position known without offending and alienating the trans people in my life who I love, regardless of how I feel about this new gender ideology? Could I oppose the indoctrination while embracing trans people themselves? Was there some sort of middle ground I could take, where I could express my support and love for them while simultaneously refusing to drink the Kool-Aid?

Then the big night came. By this point the Toronto Public Library scandal had taken up three or four days of my attention, and I remained glued to social media so I could follow every development. I read an extremely thoughtful prepared statement by a city councillor named Gord Perks and thought "finally, a voice of reason!" only to see his contribution written off and misrepresented. Hundreds of people took to the streets, necessitating a police presence to keep the audience and speakers safe. Videos posted on Twitter showed this hate mob, led by Governor General Award-winning author Gwen Benaway, shouting violent epithets at cowed women while pretending they were the victims. These bullies were out for blood, and anything less than full surrender wouldn't satisfy them.

The thing that struck me the most during all this was that the two sides of the political spectrum were arguing different points. While one side was insisting that Meghan Murphy deserved free speech, the other side was arguing about the perceived content of her talks as they pertained to trans rights. They weren't meeting anywhere near the middle, because they weren't even having the same conversation. The result of this was that trans rights activists were passionately mobilizing certain nuances of their worldview, and demanding these tenets be accepted, while the other side was simply saying "let her talk". The protesters had smeared her as an anti-trans speaker, though that wasn't how she self-identified. For a movement so obsessed with self-identification, this was a huge blind spot. Just like misgendering someone, they were accusing her of being something she's not.

As the think pieces and news articles began to come out in the following days, I read opinions from both sides and searched for even a shimmer of mutual understanding. This divisionary rhetoric was going to have devastating consequences, I figured, including within the literary world. And if people were continuing to be scared into silence for fear of being mobbed like Murphy, how could we ever have a meaningful dialogue? Who would be the next person to inspire one of these hateful clown parades?

This was the headspace I was in when I came across a story in Flare written by Benaway in which she narrates her experience addressing representatives of the library during a feedback session leading up to the event. With purple prose, silly histrionics and self-aggrandizing rhetoric, she singles out Head Librarian Vickery Bowles (who didn't speak a word during the exchange) and accused her of being transphobic simply for supporting free speech. In the most embarrassing passage she repeatedly challenges those present to tell her which bathroom she should use, which is so off-topic it comes off as nonsensical. I couldn't take it anymore. I left a comment under the article, calling Benaway "so dishonest" for misrepresenting Bowles and Murphy, and accused her of "tilting at windmills, hard."

This was it. The first public stance I'd taken on the issue. I knew that nearly every literary figure I was associated with on Twitter probably disagreed with me on principle, and would probably only experience this as some privileged white dude punching down on a poor trans activist. That being said, I really believed in what I was saying and legitimately believed trans rights activists who were vilifying librarians and feminists needed to be fucking stopped. I felt a twinge of vertigo as I let go, allowing myself to tumble head-first down this howling rabbit hole. I'd heard that these activists are militant, sometimes going after people's livelihoods if they disagree with you, but I was feeling ready for a fight.

It was around this time that a Twitter account started retweeting some of my comments, tagging my employer Humber Literary Review, adding melodramatic captions about how I was a trans-hater. This Internet stranger made me uncomfortable, but I didn't engage, comfortable in the knowledge that my editors had known me for five years and understood I was incapable of hatred. Anyone who took a moment to read my timeline would see that I wasn't a zealot; I was just a newbie to this particular conversation, trying to make sense of what was going on in a respectful manner. Also, I wasn't interested in having a conversation about trans rights -- the issue is hardly relevant to my day-to-day life -- I was interested in talking about Meghan Murphy's right to free speech, a right that had been thoroughly trampled for no good reason.

One thing that occurred to me was that the library protest ultimately had the opposite effect of what was intended. Rather than silencing Murphy, they'd elevated her to a new level of prophet-like prominence. I'd never heard of her before, but now she was being profiled in newspapers and discussed all over social media. I'd gone from having no idea who she was to being one of her most ardent fans, keen to hear what she was up to next. And pretty soon there were titans of the entertainment world stepping in to take her side, including J.K Rowling and Ricky Gervais. The haters tried to silence her but instead set her on fire, leaving us all to watch her dance wreathed in holy flames.

Then they came for me. Three days after my comment on the Flare article, which inspired a long back and forth with a Toronto poet, Humber contacted me to say that I no longer had my position as interviews editor. According to them they were restructuring, but we were in the middle of an issue and that made no sense. I sent a few exploratory emails, one proposing a book project that would be a collection of the interviews I'd done over the years, and I was mostly met with silence. Was it possible? Would they actually pull something like this? Would they take sides with the trans mob over me? And why?

The way I figured, if the move to take away my position was actually motivated by my Twitter interactions then their real motive was both to shut me up and to distance themselves from me professionally. The hate mob who had attacked would be waiting for word that I'd been turfed, and I wouldn't give them that satisfaction. For the following weeks, and then months, I made sure to routinely tag Humber in my posts, reminiscing about my interviews of the past and looking forward to the one that hadn't yet been published with Yasuko Thanh. I sent my editor an email and asked her to retweet some of these posts, which she said she would, but then didn't. I started escalating my rhetoric, criticizing trans activists and calling out their bonkers nonsense, all with Humber's twitter handle nice and prominent in my bio.

Finally, just before the holidays, vindication came. The founding editor of Humber Literary Review, Meaghan Strimas, contacted me to say that the collective had "grave concerns" about my Twitter content (even though she admitted she rarely uses the platform) and then demanded I remove her magazine from my bio, even though my interview with Thanh had not yet been published. Her email confirmed all my concerns: they had a staff meeting without me to discuss my conduct, they took issue with my views on trans rights, and they were hoping to make an example out of me. It was two weeks before Christmas and they were picking a fight with one of their employees for no good reason. The positive relationship we'd enjoyed for half a decade wasn't enough to shield me from their poorly researched dogmatism.

I knew what to do right away: I alley-ooped the email, and a bunch of screen-shotted Twitter posts, to a journalist named Anna Slatz. She was an active participant in the trans rights conversation, and had appeared at an event in Vancouver in which activists showed up wearing a guillotine for TERFs. She was just as outspoken as Murphy, I knew, and would be just as infuriated by this turn of events as I was. This was a minor freelance gig for me, but what if it was my main livelihood? Would they come after my other job next? My fiancée was six months pregnant with our first child and now I had to worry about these pitchfork-wavers? Slatz was thorough, professional and tactful: within 24 hours my story was live on the Post Millennial website. Watching the story rack up engagements was one of the most vindicating feelings of my life.

Within hours I was contacted by the Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms. I'd heard of them through the Yaniv debacle, and I was thrilled to learn that their potential involvement in my case would be free of cost. I took them through what happened over the phone, step by step, and revelled in how appalled they were. I wasn't the only person who thought these activists had gone too far, targeting people's jobs and smearing them in public. They told me that if it went forward my case would have the potential to affect a huge number of people's lives, perhaps setting a precedent that would dissuade these clowns from using sinister tactics like this in the future. And I wasn't the only person this was happening to -- online there were examples of people like Maya Forstater, who lost her job for saying that biological sex is real, and others who lost gigs for something as simple as retweeting a gender critical account.

The stress and sudden attention from all this hoopla had me panicked. I was worried both about my employment, and for the financial future of my baby. As my case drew the attention of names I recognized, like Jordan Peterson, I worried that I would be submerged by this trans rights tidal wave. I knew my misgivings were shared by many, both in the literary world and everywhere else, but people were too afraid to speak the truth. For a few nights I couldn't sleep. I didn't feel like fighting; I just wanted to be left alone.

But then I began to reflect on what actually mattered. I have a number of trans friends who are intensely important to me, and it's them who are suffering the worst consequences of this toxic rhetoric. As activists continue to over-reach and inflame controversy, the blow-back is hitting people who would just like to quietly go about living their lives. They don't believe in some of the more ridiculous aims of these activists, like plugging biological males into female sports or subjecting female prisoners to the company of murderers hiding behind self-identification. They're just as embarrassed by the Gwen Benaways and Jessica Yanivs of the world, and believe just as strongly as I do in Meghan Murphy's right to free speech. They don't believe in vilifying strangers, or taking away their jobs, because that's the purview of idiots and assholes.

As J.K. Rowling recently wrote on Twitter: this is not a drill. The time for ignoring or being complacent about the trans rights conversation has passed, because it is now doing real harm not only to trans people, but also everyone else. With my daughter en route to Earth, I want to create a future where this dystopian rhetoric is a thing of the past, and I don't have to worry about her being indoctrinated into a worldview where biological sex doesn't exist. I believe that inclusion is non-negotiable, and that trans people should be embraced and supported, but that should never come at the expense of people who reject their ideology or have beliefs of their own. It's possible to love someone even if you think their worldview is nonsensical, and trying to speak sense to them is the opposite of hate speech.

You could even call it love speech.

The Literary Goon

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caticornsrreal · 5 years

Text

Fighting Dragons with You

After twelve years, I'm finally telling the internet why I love Taylor Swift🖤

Hello, internet using world. I’d like to introduce myself to the few people who followed me. Hi! My name is Christa and I am a Taylor Swift fan with every fiber of my being. Full disclosure, this is a short novel so now is your chance to make an exit, but I hope you stay.

Taylor and my ridiculously furry cat, Lyle

(affectionately nicknamed “rent-free”), are the only two beings made of flesh and bone who have been consistent in my life for the last 12 years. With a close second being my son, Gauge, who just turned 10. I won’t get into the details (in this post) as to why that is, but let’s just say there were a lot of ups and downs growing up.

The last 12 years have been an evolution for Taylor,

and subsequently, for me. At (dare I say it)

38 years old, I’ve found that a lot of things happen in a decade. Like, A LOT. Now, I don’t feel 38. I guess I owe that to humor, singing, dancing, sarcasm, and launching a successful career that didn’t exist 15 years ago —something that has made me always push harder to set new goals and stay humble. But one thing I didn’t do over these last 12 years that I deeply regret was starting a fan page for Taylor. I mean, ESPECIALLY since I’m a professional travel blogger who makes her full time living from digital content!

There’s been a lot of momentum over the last 12 years

—demands which left me with little to no free time. But I can’t blame my absence from the Swiftie family entirely on that. In fact, I’d have to say, I blame much of it on fear.

Fear,

of being misunderstood, fear of judgment or writing something lame. I’ve had over 2,000 articles published online and in print as well as countless social posts, but the thought of Taylor seeing something I wrote and thinking it’s totally weird (or cough, too long for the internet), well let’s just say I’d be less afraid of walking into a burning building.

Fear,

of being called a fake because the financial demands as a single mom left me little money to spend on myself or Taylor merchandise, much less tickets to a show. I’ve always placed my son’s needs before mine.

Fear,

that I was too old to be a Taylor Swift fan. I mean, I was 26 when she hit the music scene and she was what, 16? I’ve been afraid. Afraid I would be rejected by other Swifties who really are the only people who understand this love we have for her —which is basically like being rejected by your own people. Also, it’s super weird to be following teens/young adults on social, much less engaging with them.

Fear.

Along with my fear, a perfect storm of entrepreneurial demands, single motherhood, failed relationships (one of which was a marriage), and family matters have served as a constant reminder that my dream of ever meeting Taylor takes residence on another planet. An actual trip to Mars seemed more attainable.

I feel like there is a whole demographic of women, “Swiftie Moms” who echo my story,

having watched Taylor grow into the strong beautiful woman she's become. Women my age who love her from behind the wheel of their SUV, on the way to drop their kids off to school, on the way back from a milk run, in the dark hours of the mornings when they’re dancing in the kitchen with a full on hair bun singing into a coffee spoon. Unnoticed fans who haven’t had the time to dive head first into the Swiftie Universe. But here I am. After all the fear and all the years...

So, why?

This is a hard one to answer. I guess you can say that after many years of challenges, judgment from others, and doing the complete opposite of what logic and reason said I should —divorce, single motherhood, a second degree in my late twenties... risking it all to start a blog (which by the way in 2013 wasn’t even considered a side job much less a career), I kind of got to a point where I became

fearless.

I had to be. I had this tiny living, breathing human being who was counting on me at the very least, to give him a life a notch above the shit show I had growing up. Not to mention parenting —which is basically wandless wizardry pulled directly from the asses of parents. It demands that your mini human grows up to be a better human than you.

Yeah, unpack that.

Take all your collective shit, figure it out, and then teach your mini to do it better —to BE better than you at love, kindness, respect for others (especially boys respecting girls), integrity, money, and to be fearless. All while giving them the comfort of knowing that you, mom, have it all figured out... even when that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Top that with the pressures of working in the public eye

—which, while on a microscopic level compared to a full-on celebrity such as Taylor, is still very much a juggling act with none of the entourage to lighten the workload. Add to it the demands of working with national brands, and the unwavering ability for other bloggers to tear you down at any opportunity, or even worse, try to get close to you so they can raid your success like a Black Friday sale.

I found myself at the peak of my blogging career

but I was consumed by fear, AGAIN! Fear of shady AF bloggers and publicists, and so much to lose. And fear that now, thousands of people would have an opinion of me formed by jealous bloggers, and they didn’t even know who I really was.

That’s when letting go of toxic people in my life became essential

—when, no matter who they were, or how I was tied to them, I had to realize that surrounding myself with the ones who lifted me took precedence over the ones who dragged me down.

After all that..... I learned to give zero f***s about what people thought, or what they said behind my back.

And I had to start caring about what made my heart happy, what made my family and friends smile, and what inspired me to do better. BE BETTER. Be the example of fearless, with the hope that I was lucky enough to stay that way. But I'm a vulnerable human made of heart and soul and sometimes people can still take the best from me.

I had to be fearless.

In August of 2017 when "Look What You Made Me Do” blessed my ears for the first time, I felt it pierce my skin and course through my veins. And to the very bones of this young 38-year-old Swiftie mom, I was shook AF! I sang, I danced and I drowned out the haters in the blogging world. She had a very clear message,

She had zero f***s to give, Taylor broke the internet.

After watching the seemingly endless myriad of shade thrown at Taylor over the years, my heart erupted with happiness as her flawless first single from Reputation revealed one BADASS BITCH. And with every music video release of her new era, she became a mythical Goddess with bullshit evaporating superpowers. Like, I legit think she’s an actual unicorn. After all, she does ride a caticorn named Olivia.

She got harder, she got smarter in the nick of time

One single post on my Facebook page praising her new era and new single she brought with it attracted a slew of hate speech, white people bashing, claims of Taylor ripping off Beyonce... I couldn’t believe the things I was reading from fellow bloggers. I even had a GLOBAL BRAND threaten my business relationship in their ambassador program because I stood up for Taylor and spoke out about the hate speech which was placed on my own personal Facebook page. But I stood by my words.

Fearless.

Over the following months into early 2018, and to the tune of, “This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things”, I, along with a slew of about 20 other bloggers, ended up taking down said global brand’s publicist who was using his budget and power to demean and sexually harass female bloggers (which would later reveal that blacklisting me was more about not buying into that bullshit rather than my voice on hate speech).

Zero f***s given to those haters.

Mythical Goddess with bullshit evaporating superpowers level officially achieved for Taylor, and even for me. Although I wouldn’t call myself a Goddess. That's all Tay. 🖤

She found love through the noise

And so did I. In November of 2017, I had approached the year anniversary of the greatest love I'd ever known. My last stop. And as the tracks played on, my heart was full. We both found happiness through a seemingly endless sea of anguish.

Taylor is truly doing better than she ever was, and so am I.

Her resilience up against the media and the demands of the industry are perfectly fearless. And her decision to keep her beautifully growing relationship with Joe private is wise. I’ve spent the last year at home, which has been incredible. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what’s most important to me, what has shaped me into the mom, partner and entrepreneur that I am, and it all comes back to Taylor. That’s why it’s time for me to be fearless again and officially join the Swiftie universe.

I’ve spent 12 years fighting dragons with Taylor

and growing a canyon of respect and adoration for her charm, wit, business savvy, musical talent, feminism, compassion, tenacity, love for animals, and of course her lovely, lovely, words. I’ve raised my son from birth with her. There isn't a single day that is spent where Taylor doesn't exist in our lives. For 12 years straight.

That’s a long time to love someone who has no idea you exist.

I play her music videos and YouTube uploads just so I can feel like she’s with us. And so my son knows that she’s one of the finest examples of a human being in his lifetime. I use Taylor’s kindness to teach my son how to be considerate and give back to others while sharing her fearless story with him so she can be a positive role model in his life. Taylor has essentially been part of our family all along.

My son Gauge has a running joke that Taylor is the only person that can make me cry

(which happens more than I'm willing to admit). And it’s not because I’m weak, or on the verge of a mental breakdown (although I challenge you to try parenting, you might argue that), it’s because I truly love her like a best friend. When I see her happy it makes me happy, when I feel her sadness, it makes me sad. It’s visceral.

I don't believe the human connection is meant to be one-sided.

I feel in my heart, as weird as this may sound, that we will meet Taylor one day, even against all odds. Existing in the same lifetime as Taylor without at least trying to meet her doesn't feel right. I won't look at my son and teach him to let fear and doubt win, or that defying the odds is an impossible task.

Over the years I’ve been a spectator to her outreach to fans. She’s invited them to sessions in her homes, sent them gifts, invited them backstage, surprised them in their homes, made hospital visits, and Lord knows what else she has up her sleeve. And it’s all been done with pure excitement and love for her Swifties. With each outreach she extends, tears of joy are shed for fellow Swifties, and a ray of hope inspires me.

So, I’m starting a personal blog

which tells a very personal story of all the dragons I’ve fought with Taylor over the years. From living in a car at 15 years old to getting invited to LA premieres for Walt Disney and Marvel films. And I'll have no apologies for the truths that will be told (but will change names for privacy). It will be very personal and some of it won’t be pretty. Because life isn’t always pretty.

Taylor is releasing another album this year... we hope,

and she’ll be on yet another tour in 2020. After 12 years I’m finally ready for it. I’ve given my son everything he could possibly want or need. I’ve bought him a beautiful home in Northern Georgia. He’s been able to travel the world and do things most adults haven’t even done. And I owe much of that to Taylor for giving me the strength to take major risks, the courage to face my demons, the balls to cut people out of my life who were toxic and the self-confidence to defy the odds and do things my way.

2019 is our year to show @taylorswift how much we love her.

I’ll let the universe do the rest. Till then, I’ll be fighting dragons with her as I always have and writing my journal for her and anyone else who wants to read the memoirs of an OG Swiftie mom who keeps it real AF, full-on hair bun and all.

#taylor #taylorswift #taylurking #taylornation #taylor swift #taylor13 #taylorswift13 #taylornation13 #fightingdragons #swifties #swiftie #tswift13 #deartaylor #dear taylor

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go-diane-winchester · 5 years

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Why many Misha fans want haters and non fans to kill themselves.

I was scratching my head for awhile wondering why Misha's fans behave the way they do. Now I think I might be starting to get a partial clue about that. He is like a cult leader, because unlike Jensen and Jared who just want to be known for the work that they get paid to do, Misha has more time on his hands and uses it to constantly stay in contact with his fans so that their attention is never diverted from him. I found a Psychology Today article that made me smirk. The article is written in the context of a dangerous cult leader but Misha is not that. He doesn't use aggression. He uses sympathy. He puts him in victim mode so that his fans will feel the need to protect him. Remember that mockumentary that made his fans feel sorry for him?

He has also put himself in the position of an authority figure who has an opinion about charity, the LGBT, slash fiction, feminism and politics amongst other things. He rarely speaks about the canon aspects of his character and the canon of Supernatural. And yet he was a director. His sub group of fans, especially destiel fans, would not have gotten any attention from him, had he been a normal, agenda free individual. Because he does something as unusual as giving slash fans attention, they latch onto him because they are not going to get that attention elsewhere. Hellers and minions identify with Misha because he presumably cut himself on the thigh as a ''fat'' child. I have seen some of his childhood pictures. He was not fat. Quite a cutie actually. Cutters will therefore identify with him even though, he has told many lies about his childhood.

These are some of the traits that Psychology Today listed. I had to remove some that fit a dangerous cult leader more than the sympathy junkie that Misha is. There are some that don't have additional information in bold, because although they feel like Misha traits, I don't have a pinpoint example. Or there are too many examples. If you wish to contribute to the updating of this list, please let me know.

He has a grandiose idea of who he is and what he can achieve. [He refers to himself as an Overlord]

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, or brilliance. [Used Gish to break Guinness World records]

Demands blind unquestioned obedience. [calls his fans minions. A minion are a servile or unimportant follower or underling of a powerful person]

Requires excessive admiration from followers and outsiders. [Expected fiction authors to write stories about him for free]

Has a sense of entitlement - expecting to be treated special at all times. [wanted to be in the TVGuide graphic despite having no right to be on it]

Is arrogant and haughty in his behavior or attitude.

Has an exaggerated sense of power (entitlement) that allows him to bend rules and break laws. [wants NASA to do Gish related things for him in outerspace. Admitted to stealing passes from the White house]

Takes sexual advantage of members of his sect or cult. [pandering destiel, and asking Gish participants to do half naked challenges despite knowing that there might be underage participants]

Is hypersensitive to how he is seen or perceived by others. [During the Giving Back Tour, a con headed by him only and not J2, he pitched up only on the Sunday, the way that the leads do for their cons, perhaps to be percieved as a lead himself. They have a valid reason. They are working till the last minute. He had no reason to not be present from Friday evening. He wants to be like J2. That con flopped. - thanks for reader inputs because I didn't know this.]

Publicly devalues others as being inferior, incapable, or not worthy. [calls destiel shippers perverts]

Makes members confess their sins or faults publicly subjecting them to ridicule or humiliation while revealing exploitable weaknesses of the penitent. [pointed out the lap dancer, while she was asking a question and showed the butt plug for no reason even though he could have reported the lapdancer and refused the butt plug]

Has ignored the needs of others, including: biological, physical, emotional, and financial needs. [no support for J2 during the Nolacon scandal, or for Jared during various heller attacks, but spoke up for Danneel because it secures heller sexual fantasies - I have an inkling that HatersOfDanneel might be minions which is why he stopped them, to show her how supportive he is. Who knows, maybe he set up to do this, so he could rescue her.]

Is frequently boastful of accomplishments. [the receipts can fill a book]

Needs to be the center of attention and does things to distract others to insure that he or she is being noticed by arriving late, using exotic clothing, overdramatic speech, or by making theatrical entrances. [like the chair gag at Comic Con which garnered sympathy from fans, and constantly drawing lewd attention to himself during panels where he is with others. He didn't like sharing a panel with Sebastian Roche, because Sebastian can out-crass him, and is obligated to sit through a Jared panel because Jared can also be provocative if he so wishes, but enjoys being in a panel with the sexually restrained Jensen, perhaps because it puts him in a powerful position. And he seldom just steps on stage. He must say or do something first: like an accent or something similar. Once he wore a severely torn T shirt under his jacket and made sure he showed everyone on stage. The man cant afford a T shirt?]

Doesn’t seem to listen well to needs of others, communication is usually one-way in the form of dictates. [called Jensen a motherf*cker, for speaking unfavorably about his scenes with Cas being decreased]

Haughtiness, grandiosity, and the need to be controlling is part of his personality. [constantly waving rules set by the CW and CE, for example telling people about the ''I love you'' line, even though he was told not to. He doesn't follow the rules that others are humble enough to follow.]

Behaves as though people are objects to be used, manipulated or exploited for personal gain. [asked Dean and Cas cosplayers to make out for his leery pleasure]

When criticized, he tends to lash out not just with anger but with rage. [there is a gif somewhere of him telling a critical con guest: I don't appreciate your tone when she told him he was queer baiting.] [Edit: A wonderful fan sent me the pictures - Thanks]

Anyone who criticizes or questions him, is called an “enemy''. [calls non-minions haters]

Acts imperious at times, not wishing to know what others think or desire. [smashed a Boba Fett cake in Jared's face, without notifying him that the cake was from a fan and was painstakingly made for Jared's birthday. The cake was inedible after that, and Jared profusely apologized to the fan. How hurt she must have been. Misha took the cake on stage, when he had no business to - Edit: thanks to an awesome reader for this input. I forgot about it, even though it had ticked me off when I learned the truth]

Is superficially charming. [Sometimes he cant even muster up a smile at his photo op, unless it is a Cockles one. He cant even pretend to like his fans]

Habitually puts down others as inferior and only he is superior. [again minion and pervert. Jokes that Jensen and Jared got their jobs on the basis of their looks.]

Has a certain coldness or aloofness about him that makes others worry about who this person really is and or whether they really know him. [when he hugged JDM, fans in the background cheered, and Misha looked at them, shook his head in a fed up, irritated manner before focusing at JDM]

Is deeply offended when there are perceived signs of boredom, being ignored or of being slighted. [told off a fan who said she wasn't supposed to be attending his panel. She was supposed to be asleep. She was called because her name ended up on the question line up. He was so angry, he didn't let her speak. That transcript is difficult to read.]

Treats others with contempt and arrogance.

Is constantly assessing for those who are a threat or those who revere him. [SPN Anti-Bullying Twitter is the most communist thing I have ever seen. It only seeks out Misha critics and does away with them. Its like communism, fandom style. Misha is in close contact with Emily Cleghorn who runs this page and participates in Gishwhes.]

The word “I” dominates his conversations. He is oblivious to how often he references himself. [With Misha it might be the opposite. He tries to project a kicked puppy personality. Watch his body language carefully]

Hates to be embarrassed or fail publicly - when he does he acts out with rage. [Just drink your effen water and get off the stage - could be a joke, or could be something else. Its was said to Jensen who laughed about it, but you never know how he perceived this outburst.]

Doesn’t seem to feel guilty for anything he has done wrong nor does he apologize for his actions. [Didn't apologize for slavery or roofie joke]

Believes he possesses the answers and solutions to world problems. [Gishwhes is more about his ego, wasting food and stripping down to nothing, for his enjoyment more than anything else. But he thinks it will solve problems. Other than creating a spectacle, and reaching the attention of Larry King, it doesn't seem to do any good because what good could the Record breaking largest number of people dressed as French maids do to better the world. And he waste food, whilst taking part in a marathon to end child hunger. He doesn't realize how hypocritical that is]

Believes himself to be a deity or a chosen representative of a deity. [Haha, I don't know if bragging about being accused of being the anti-Christ counts, because what decent person brags about that. Just added it here, as a laugh.]

Rigid, unbending, or insensitive describes how this person thinks. [Made Jensen tell the story, during their Jib panel, that made Jensen break down earlier - bashed the Bible]

Tries to control others in what they do, read, view, or think.

Seems to be highly dependent of tribute and adoration and will often fish for compliments. [wanted fiction writers to write a story about him for free - this is worth a second mention because of how arrogant it is]

Uses enforcers or sycophants to insure compliance from members or believers. [Has journalists in media outlets like Geekiary, Hypable and possibly others doing his bidding, including attacking the leads on social media, for saying something contradictory to what Misha is saying. Natalie Fisher of Hypable is more notable for doing this.]

Sees self as “unstoppable” perhaps has even said so. [With regards to Misha, he might say it about Random Acts or Gish because he want to project being 'humble'.]

Conceals background or family which would disclose how plain or ordinary he is. [Lied about being poor to garner sympathy - lied about only receiving elite education, because he has never been to public school, and says he lived on his friend, Darius's handouts, including meals, which makes me wonder how trust worthy Misha's friend is. Because don't elite private schools provide meals and uniforms - lied about being mugged]

A gazillion thank yous to my awesome friend, whom I will now refer to as Sam the researcher, because this is the second obscure piece of evidence that she found for me. I have been looking for it, for too long, fruitlessly. Also thanks for the second and third ones.

@iamacynic seems to think non-Misha fans were born without the faculty of thinking. So this person accused me of being non-empathetic to the fact that Misha was poor and living in a tent. Do you think nobody knows that? When Misha first told the story of being poor and having a druggie for a mother, he got a lot of sympathy, which is why over the years, the story has become more and more elaborate. The Overlord had found his niche. Misha was poor from birth till age 3. Mom married a guy who was loaded and who took over responsibility of Misha and his brother. From 4 till now, Misha has been a rich man. The elite private schools Misha attended cost more than $50 000 per annum. Misha attended Greenfield Centre and then Northfield Mount Herman. He has never attended a public school. And Misha doesn't remember any of that? All he remembers is the first 3 years of his life? Realistically, person will only remember a smidgen of the third year of his life. Unless someone out there remember age one. Raise your hands. Tell us about your extraordinary memory.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/spycatcher/201208/dangerous-cult-leaders

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flyswhumpcenter · 5 years

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Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. I don’t have any request left, so feel free to send in suggestions for this card!).

I'm getting flack for Empathic Dissonance on Fanfiction.net but I don't give a shit, Peregrineshipping will live beyond this show's grave fuckers

Oh look it's that one other AU I keep brushing dust off without actually doing anything of substance with it except invent new ways to slap characters I don't own into it. And because I got severely annoyed by some twats trolling on my FFN posts (why am I posting on this site anymore anyway smh), I made sure this fic was obviously Peregrineshipping. They're right when they tell you people write because they're either horny or spiteful.

To casually explain how mages ("magical girls") work here: there are three categories (spell caster, weapon user and healer), and there are Hybrids who are a combination between two of those three. Hybrids are chased down by bounty hunters because they're deemed to be special unicorns. Each mage also represents a Symbol or an Arcana (they're the same: the Arcana system is just deeper with more details on it and it's mostly in Latin) Everything else is spoilers. I am not kidding, I may very well write this bullshit out one of these days. I'm also gonna pull out my "it's fine if they're OOC because it's an AU" card I got from a fellow IoTsumu shipper (who's most likely not gonna read this), because I decided I'd be super self-indulgent today.

Also, big thanks to my pal Cherie for providing me with that sweet, sweet prompt. It's always a pleasure to write Peregrineship and dab on the haters lmao.

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Moonbeams in the Lunar Eclipse

Summary: There's one thing sure in Shun's mind as he escapes from his pursuers with his partner's wrist in his hand: he won't leave this place alone.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V (magical people AU, see notes above) Ship: Peregrineshipping (Serena/Shun) (established, mostly implied)

Wordcount: 1.8K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

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Saying his day has been absolute shit so far would be an understatement. In fact, he’s sure he’s not had such a shitty day in his life before: getting pursued by a bunch of bounty hunters, with feet bitten off by spells and wounds all over their bodies, tattered colourful outfits shredding little by little on the ground and in the air, really isn’t something he’s ever liked, or ever wanted to experience; but here they are, pursued by a bunch of crazies with their lives in their hands as they try to make it out without losing everything they’ve had.

For Shun, the only things he’s ever gotten were his liberty, his sister, his best friend and Serena; and he’s not intending on losing two of these now.

The streets of this city they don’t know smother him softly, slowly, giving him this sense of dizziness from the oxygen running out of his lungs the deeper they get. He isn’t familiar with that place, they’ve arrived there in a hurry because Ruri and Yuto went after an important lead in their hunt against those who chase and kill the Hybrids (reckless kids, he can’t help thinking: they’re Hybrids themselves, they’re going to get themselves killed and nothing else), and he has no idea as to where they could go to take shelter until these people forget about them.

They’re running out of everything. He barely has enough breathing and energy left to run in the streets like he’s currently doing, enough mana to keep the hunters away, enough eyes to watch over Serena and make sure she doesn’t get left behind in this urban labyrinth. The inside of his palm misses her warmth too much for him to give up on her. He may be clinging onto his sense of orientation more for her and their mission than for his own sake, at this point.

Shun spots a corner sunk in darkness next to his feet, yanking his hand back on Serena’s forearm (who is nearer to him than he thought, she’s faster than expected, that’s finally something he can be relieved about, it’s been a while), shrouding them in the shadows of the night and hoping their chasers don’t spot her body illuminated by solitary moonlight beams suddenly disappearing by swiping to the right. He keeps a hand on her mouth just in case, yellow irises focused on the scene before them, ears on alert; until he can’t hear anything but their breathing, hers muffled by his hand, his barely in control, footsteps vanishing into thin air.

He lets her go, watching her put her back against the wall to examine her injuries closer. Selena’s palms start glowing in a feeble blue light, just enough for him to see her swollen left ankle and cuts all over her body and outfit, blood red and fabric red somewhat mixing in the dark of the night as they silently pray for nobody to come back until they’ll be fine enough to get back to their feet and find shelter somewhere Ruri knows (she’s waiting for them at the end of the maze, he knows it).

They’re breathless, yet the echoing silence makes him uncomfortable. He has problems hearing her over his shallow breath, a hand pressed against the stab wound a billhook got on his abdomen, his second skin having ran out of mana on him way before they could have escaped from these vultures’ claws. The thing is that he can still walk, still get out of here if he ignores the pain enough, if he focuses his mind on the job at hand. The issue relies not on him, but on the fact he cannot guarantee everyone around him is in the same condition. Who cares about a little blood and a few cuts when your legs can still get you somewhere safer, better?

It’s in those moments that Shun regrets being a mere spell caster when he could have been much more; and he gets jealous of Ruri’s healing powers until he remembers the pain it causes her. He misses her more than he envies her anyway: he’s supposed to protect her, not the opposite way around.

“Are you good to go, Serena…?” He asks her with a dry mouth and a voice smelling like dizziness. Maybe he’s lost more blood than he can remember from the attacks. The dark ground and lack of light makes it hard to judge how much of it he’s spilled onto the ground with no hope to get it back.

“Leave without me,” she tells him like she’s dropping a canon ball right above his head, eyes cold but eyebrows frowned, and he knows that because his eyes have developed some kind of night vision. Not that anyone would have associated him with any form of light power; yet he was, somehow, some way, able to illuminate his path and see in the dark, when he had enough stamina left.

Right now, he feels like what little endurance he had left had come back full force, rage engulfing his nerves in a rush of adrenaline.

“What the hell are you saying?!” His voice rises in tone and volume, ignoring the walls amplifying the sounds bouncing amongst them, but her face doesn’t change, none of her features bulge even slightly.

“Leave without me, Shun. I’ll only slow you down. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you fucking with me?! How can you possibly tell me that when we’ve come so far together, when we’re supposed to be a team?! We’re even more than that, we’re alone together in some wastelands neither of us knows, you’re—”

“Listen to what I’ve got to say before screaming your head out, Kurosaki!”

Serena’s sudden bite at his monologue stops him right in his tracks, stealing his speech away, the adrenaline skipping a beat and going straight for his twitching hands and head. He’s furious, but silent now. That’s the only thing it’s done against him that he can account for.

That, and a lingering feeling of betrayal giving his heart frostbite burning, scorching at his insides’ skin. His blood feels poisoned, he wonders if he’s slipping into sceptic shock.

“Look at me! My ankle’s busted, I’ve run out of mana to shoot things, and we’re both bleeding. There’s no point in risking dying here if it’s just to get me out of this mess when I’m no use to you anymore. Get outta here before you can bleed out to death, that’s all I want you to do! I’ll only slow you down, so please,” she retains a sob inside, the sob of the person who’s seen the frontier between what is life and what isn’t for the first time and couldn’t get prepared for it (nobody could), “please leave without me, Shun!”

“…that’s bullshit.”

Serena’s eyes grow wide, her mouth moving to say something only to stop midway through the process to do so, her face split between anger and surprise. In the end, she sniffles in her last few tears and stares right at him.

“I’m not leaving you in some dump because you can’t walk properly or something. We’ll get out of this together, even if we have to limp or drag ourselves on the damn fucking floor for it to happen. That place’s not safe, we need to get you to safety?”

“And what about you, Shun? Are you going to go ahead and back on your footsteps to avenge Ruri? Are you going to do that to me… to all of us again?”

She has a point there; he can’t tell himself otherwise.

“Are you kidding? I’m bleeding the fuck out. I’m not sure if I can even escape from this place alone, my vision’s starting to swim if I move too quickly.” He scoffs, at himself more than at her eventually useless remark. “It’s dark as fuck around here and I don’t want you to have some stupid death by hypothermia or something like that. It’s either we die in this hole or we leave together. I won’t abandon anyone else, not after almost losing Ruri once.”

He takes her hands, wet from their clamminess and cold, in his as if that enforces his point (it doesn’t, really, but her palms are warmer than his and he just wants to touch her, to feel her skin under her gloves while he still can).

“But we’ll leave together, that much I want to promise. I can’t promise it’ll be smooth or fun, but I can promise we’ll try our damn best to escape.”

“You’re strangely forward today,” she ends up replying with a smirk, “but I like it. You should be like that more often.”

“Don’t fucking make fun of me.”

“I’m not.”

They have a short moment of silence before Serena speaks up again.

“How do you plan to get us how out of there, though? It’s not like I can properly walk anymore.”

Before she can add anything else, he gives her his back, hands right above his pelvis, fingers twitching up. Communication has never been his forte, and Serena sure knows that, so he’s trying to do something about that, even if it just ends up being terribly embarrassing for the both of them.

“Climb here.”

“Shun, that’s stupid, you’re injured! You won’t be able to—”

“Get on here before I force you to get there myself.”

She sighs in exasperation and does as he says, his arms sticking her legs against his torso. He has troubles adapting his balance to the new weight on his back, especially when his knees have scrapped the ground before and when he’s weakened already. Still, he pulls through and forces his legs to stay stable as he starts walking.

The heartbeat he feels next to his, too fast for a human in their right condition but still slower than his, is worth it. She has her arms wrapped around his shoulder blades, purple and red fabric brushing against his own outfit. He can’t hope to use his wings when he’s like this, with a human body over where they’d grow with a spell and retract when its effects would end, but it’s fine. It’s fine because they’ll make it out of there, as long as they’re together, as long as he can hear her ask him if he’s fine or he’d need a break. In a way, Serena is the beam of clarity piercing through the night ocean laid before all of them, the one whose presence he needs the most right now. She’s his partner and role model at the same time.

Because, if there’s one thing Shun hopes to become someday, it’s a beacon of light in the darkness.

#bad things happen bingo #arc-v #peregrineshipping #shun kurosaki #serena (arc v)#angst #tension #injury #escape #au: osas #bthb 2

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travllingbunny · 5 years

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The 100 rewatch: episodes 3x06-3x10

Continuation of my post here

This post includes reviews the following episodes:

3x06 Bitter Harvest

3x07 Thirteen

3x08 Terms and Conditions

3x09 Stealing Fire

3x10 Fallen

3x06 Bitter Harvest

The Arkadia plot in this episode is quite interesting because it doesn’t go the way you expect.

It’s all about Pike’s plan to conquer some fertile land to grow food, so the Grounders couldn’t starve Arkadia out, but his plan requires them to “clear” a Grounder village in the area, as he already explained in 3x05. Bellamy was obviously horrified by the realization of what that would probably mean, but it ends up being one of several frustrating moments of this arc where he fails to change Pike’s opinion and then goes along with Pike’s decision in spite of his misgivings.

The story seems like it’s going to be all about the small armed Arker force victimizing helpless Grounder villagers – especially when it becomes obvious that Hannah and resident bigoted a-hole Gilmer would be ready to kill a child to prevent him from telling other villagers. And about Octavia saving the villagers by warning them to leave before they come. But there’s some moral complexity thrown in when Miller points out that the situation is tricky as warning the villagers, they might end up causing deaths to their friends, though Octavia also rightfully points out that an attack on a village, aside from being bad in itself, would be likely to make Lexa reconsider her decision and decide to attack Arkadia after all.

But I really like the twist that the villagers weren’t a bunch of helpless folks just waiting for Octavia to save them, and that, instead, they don’t want to leave their homes (why the heck would they?) and decide to defend themselves – and that they do it successfully, by releasing poisoned smoke. Because, guess what, Grounders aren’t “Noble Savages” or whatever nonsense some think they are. And it’s funny that Monty – who had pointed out “they are Grounders, they will fight” - actually had judged the situation better than Octavia, who thinks she’s so well versed into Grounder culture. If the village leader, Semet, hadn’t gone on to act like such an idiot in 3x07, I would have a lot of respect for him and the rest of the villagers (they showed themselves to be more competent than their soldiers). And just to be clear, I’m on their side here – as always, people have the right to defend themselves. Arkers here underestimated them and got smoked, just like Grounder army and Commander underestimated the Delinquents in season 1 and got burned.

In the end, Octavia had to warn her brother and the rest of the Arkers so they wouldn’t all die – and it still took two lives. It ends up with Octavia getting tied up by the villagers and brought to Polis, setting up 3x07, while Hannah blames Octavia and “traitors in the camp” for the two deaths, which sets up the conflicts in 3x08.

The first time I watched this episode, I was so terrified that they were going to make Bellamy’s group commit war crimes in the village – because of all the brouhaha I had heard about Bellamy’s controversial actions in season 3, the supposed “character assassination”, or even haters calling him “genocidal” (?). So it was a huge relief none of that happened. But it would have been interesting to see what he would have done if they had indeed run into villagers. I think he may have been able to proceed with the mission as long as the villagers were either defending themselves, or if they took them captive, but it would be different if one of the group tried to harm someone defenseless, and he definitely would have snapped if anyone tried to harm a child. And that would likely cause conflict with the more extreme members of the group, and maybe prompted him to break away from Pike earlier. But it didn’t get to that.

But the other plot, the one in Polis, drives me nuts, because it makes no sense on so many levels.

King Roan gives Emerson as a “gift” to Clarke so she could get her revenge. Instead of of enacting one himself or giving him to his people. And then Lexa and Titus act as if their people have no reason to want revenge against Emerson - and that Clarke and the Arkers are the only ones that the Mountain Men have hurt. Lexa even says “So it is Blood must not have blood only when it’s my people who bleed?” Wait, what?! Her people did bleed at the hands of the Mountain Men. For decades. In all sorts of horrible ways. They said in season 2 that they lost thousands of people. We saw it: they were killing them with acid fog, keeping them in cages, draining them and throwing them out like trash, or hooking them on drugs and torturing and turning them into controlled cannibalistic monsters and sent them against their own people. And Emerson is not some random Mount Weather resident, he was one of the leaders in their regime, he was Cage’s right hand and led the Ground Unit. Clarke knows it, Lexa knows it - because she directly negotiated with him in season 2.

Did the writers forget what happened in season 2, or do characters on this show have super short memory? Is three months the statute of limitation on “Blood must have blood”? It gets worse because we’re later supposed to believe that many Grounders are unhappy with Lexa’s decision to not take revenge on the Arkers for killing 300 of their warriors…which is somehow, apparently, much worse than everything the Mountain Men had done to them? First Nia, then Roan, now Lexa, none of them tried to get revenge for the crimes of Mount Weather against Grounders, but apparently there were no riots over that. The crowd just murmurs and talks at the end of the episode, when Lexa let Emerson go, after handing over the decision of what to do with him with Clarke. But that’s all.

The whole dilemma Titus and Lexa put in front of Clarke here is based on a ludicrous premise that Clarke punishing Emerson would be the same as Lexa and the coalition waging war and trying to kill all the Arkers. I guess you could just ascribe that to Titus being a manipulative d*ck (which he is). But committing genocide of an entire group of people in retaliation for actions of a few is very, very different from punishing one person for his own crimes. To be fair, Clarke points that out to Titus. But then he shuts her up with another false analogy bringing up Mount Weather. And it’s especially grating that it’s Grounder leaders, or even Emerson himself, who give Clarke crap about MW, which is incredibly hypocritical. They know damn well that she had no choice but either kill all of the Mountain Men, or let them kill her and all her people. And why was she left with no choice? Because Emerson and the other Mountain Men tried to kill all of her people (and they didn’t have to - they could have started by asking them to donate bone marrow. There’s a few thousand Arkers, no one needed to die to save the Mountain Men) and because Lexa and the Grounders betrayed Clarke and her people and left them to be killed by the Mountain Men. So Emerson is like “How dare ypu defend yourselves when we tried to kill you all?” and Titus is like “How dare you defend yourselves when we left you to die and they tried to kill you?” F*ck off.

Then there’s the stupid dichotomy of “either death by 1000 cuts, or let him go”. Come on, guys, surely you can think of other options in between? From killing him fast and without torture, to not killing him but keeping him locked up? This is not like that time in season 1 when the Delinquents exiled Murphy instead of killing him. They had a camp with tents, few people, few resources, they were not able to keep anyone imprisoned for any longer period. But in Polis, they have buildings and facilities (we later see cells in 3x13) and enough people to keep prisoners. Why would you let Emerson go free? Forget even justice, forget revenge - this guy is obviously a threat. Let him go, and he’s going to make trouble again. Who cares if he suffers? The primary concern should be stopping him from doing any more damage.

Clarke has always been pragmatic, so only way I can make sense of her actions here and not consider them OOC is that she’s been in this position where she is risking peace if she doesn’t let Emerson go, and she doesn’t have emotional energy to argue the case and point out the stupidity of it all, so she just opted for the lesser evil/lesser risk.

At the beginning of the episode, Lexa wakes up and says that she hears past Commanders talk to her in he dreams (setting up the chip reveal in the next episode), and that they’re not happy about her decision. So, past Commanders were really into killing and revenge. (Does that include Becca?) Lexa is clearly still unsure about her new policy at this point, though by the end of the episode, she gives a rousing speech about peace being the better option. Most of the episode’s plot in Polis revolves around Titus’ attempts to change Lexa’s mind, so I guess we’re supposed to think that Clarke’s decision to let Emerson go helped solidify Lexa’s resolve? This is dumb, for all the reasons above.

We see Clarke as an artist, again – she draws Lexa’s portrait while she’s sleeping, and this and her awkwardness while showing Lexa her drawing is an indication of her growing feelings for her. And that’s the only one-on-one scene they get in this episode, everything else is political stuff about Emerson, so 80% of the development of their romance is all in 3x07.

Another development setting up the next episode: captured Murphy is brought to Titus.

Timeline? Not sure, this time. One of the few times in the season where we don’t know

Body count: Two victims of poisoned smoke.

Monroe, one of the original 100 (leaving 45 Delinquents that are still alive)

another Arker – Lacroix, minor character introduced this season.

Note: There’s a huge continuity error in this episode. Emerson says that Clarke killed 381 people: “182 men, 173 women, and 26 children” That’s not true. Tsing said there were 382 people in Mount Weather in episode 2x11. Since then, a bunch of people had been killed before Clarke and Bellamy irradiated Level 5, so the number of people still alive in the finale were probably just a bit over 300. Many died long before Clarke came back to Mount Weather – killed by Bellamy or the Delinquents, some died fighting the Grounders and Arkers, some of them (like Vincent Vie) were civilians who were murdered by the guards for helping and hiding the Delinquents. Obviously, I have paid a lot more attention to these things than the writers ever have.

Rating: 5/10

3x07 Thirteen

And here we are, this infamous episode again. The title presumably refers to the 13th station, whose fate we find out in the flashbacks, but since 13 is supposed to be the unlucky number, it’s a very fitting title for the most unfortunate episode in the show’s history, the one where the writers had the romance between Clarke and Lexa happen for 15 minutes just to immediately kill Lexa, which it wrecked the show’s reputation and made a mess out of the fandom.

The present day events in this episode happen only in Polis, and Clarke Octavia and Murphy are the only ones out of the main cast who appear in it.

But to start from the beginning –the villagers from the last episode come to Polis for an audience with the Commander, and Titus introduces them. They give a redacted version of their story, with Titus claiming that their village was attacked and helpless. Which is not what happened – they defended themselves successfully. Semet also says Skaikru killed various members of his family. Which I guess might be true, but only if all of them were soldiers in Lexa’s army… but that’s not the story they’re trying to present, they’re making it look like their village was attacked and helpless civilians actually killed. And Octavia is there as their captive, tied up and gagged so she can’t say anything. And then, when Lexa reiterates that she’s not going to be going to war, Semet acts like a complete idiot and tries to assassinate her, in front of everyone (WTF) before getting stabbed by Titus. I always thought this was an incredibly stupid and unconvincing moment. But on rewatch, I noticed that Semet looks at Titus with a look of huge surprise and shock as he dies. Now why would he be surprised that the Flamekeeper killed him to protect the Heda? Either he’s an even bigger idiot than I thought – or Titus was the one who put him up to it in the first place (he was the one who brought them in and controlled the narrative they presented) in order to demonstrate to Lexa that her new policy will turn her people against her. He is maybe the only person with enough authority that he may have convinced Semet that he could get away with an assassination because he would support them. So, maybe at least this plot point was not that bad as I thought, but only if my theory is right. That would also solve the issue of “why are the people suddenly ready to rebel against their Heda over this, when they were OK with her deal with the Mountain Men and with letting Emerson go, and when they generally have a semi-religious worship of the Commander and value obedience and hierarchy” –if there was no spontaneous riot after all

Lexa makes the decision that every Sky person caught beyond the line would be killed. Which creates obvious problems for Octavia and Clarke. Octavia uses her remaining time in Polis to convince Indra to come with her, and to not retire because of her injuries, and to call out Clarke, making a snide remark about how she must be enjoying the comfort of her quarters in Lexa’s castle-like tower, and telling her that she has an hour to come back to Arkadia, or “you are not the person I thought you were”. Clarke says that she’s staying because she was needed for political reasons, but Octavia is not fully convinced, and Clarke seems unsure at this point. The fact she is even considering both options shows how much she’s changed. How much of it is being drawn to staying with Lexa because of her feelings for her, because Lexa is giving her comfort and making her feel good, and how much because she’s still scared of facing her friends back in Arkadia and the painful memories that would bring up, especially after that intense and painful confrontation with her Not=Boyfriend that reminded her of all that history and no doubt convinced her that he hated her, it’s up for discussion.

Good acting and the fact that the actresses have a lot of chemistry helps sell the romantic scenes between Clarke and Lexa in this episode, and on their own, they are really well done, with romantic music and soft lightning – but it all comes off as too soon, considering how poorly this has been set up and developed in the previous episodes. They both know they are going to go their separate ways, which prompts them to show their feelings for each other. Lexa suggests that Clarke could decide to stay with her, and Clarke avoids an answer, instead implying that Titus would have a problem with that (without naming him).If Clarke were to accept Lexa’s proposal, they could have an actual romantic relationship – all that Clarke would have to give up is: her identity, her freedom all of her remaining power, and all her family and friends, and live surrounded by people who dislike and distrusts her, with Lexa as her only protection. Seasons 1-2 Clarke wouldn’t even have considered that, but post-Mount Weather Clarke had already given up most of that, even before Lexa re-entered the picture. Still, she chooses to be herself again, and get back Arkadia. The best written CL moment in this episode is when Lexa show she expected that decision – she is aware Clarke would never choose her over her people - and comes close to telling Clarke she loves her, for being that way – “That’s why I… that’s why you’re you”. They are both aware that their respective roles are too much of a part of both of their identities and that they could only, perhaps, have a real relationship one day if they were free from leadership responsibilities (would that ever happen, if Lexa hadn’t died? We’ll never know, but it’s hard to imagine the Grounder society without a Commander, or a Lexa who retires and isn’t Commander anymore), before they kiss and Clarke initiates goodbye sex.

Two of the show’s many repetitive catchphrases get referenced- Lexa’s line “Love is weakness” from 2x09 and Clarke’s “Life should be about more than just surviving” from 2x14. Here we learn that “Love is weakness” wasn’t just something Lexa believed because of her horrible experience with what Nia did to her lover Costia, but something that Titus, her mentor, had always taught her. Later, in season 5, we learn that it is what all Flamekeepers teach Commanders. It makes sense: not just because of the Grounder views of what strength is, but also because, if a Commander doesn’t fall in love or get close to anyone else, the Flamekeeper can continue to be the main influence in the Commander’s life. It seems that Nightblood novices typically become Commanders as children, who are taken and separated from their parents– and Flamekeepers are quite older and their mentors, and the ones who can shape who they are. Titus is something like a father figure to Lexa, and also her subject, so while she has all the power, he has shaped her while she was growing up, and still has a lot of influence on her – and he hates someone else having more influence, especially someone from Sky people, who is making Lexa abandon the traditionalist views that Titus had taught her. He worships her, but he wants her to be who he made her to be, and love can be abusive (including the platonic, mentor/father-like love). Lexa had shown a tendency to try to control and isolate Clarke, and Titus has been manipulating and trying to control and isolate Lexa. In that way, her death, while problematic in many ways, isn’t random as people say – even though it’s a stray bullet, it happens because of Lexa’s choices and Titus’ toxicity, and it is tragic and both ironic and fitting that he is the one who ends up killing her. She ended up a victim of the traditions that shaped her and made her Commander but that she was starting to move away from.

Where I agree with Lexa/CL fans is that her death - the way it happened - was extremely poorly written and ended up playing into some bad tropes - Bury Your Gays and Death by Sex. Where I disagree with most CL fans is that I think the relationship between her and Clarke leading up to that was rushed, underdeveloped and poorly written. Both the CL romance and Lexa’s change of policy were incredibly rushed – and would have required a lot more episodes (probably an entire season, at least) and way better writing than what was there.

The weird way they wrote their relationship in season 3 weakened both characters in different ways. As a Clarke fan, I’m far more interested in her, and I’m not sure what exactly they were trying to do with her arc here, except give her another short-lived, tragic romance that ends in the other person’s death (because Clarke must suffer in her love life and never be happy or be in a committed relationship). There are interesting interpretations that Clarke falling in love with Lexa was symbolically about her learning to accept a part of herself that she hated – but I’m not sure that her overall arc really fits with that so well, since Clarke still feels guilty and hates herself over various things she has had to do as a leader. In any case, I wasn’t enjoying watching her spend almost all of season 3a as a literal Princess in the Tower, no more really a leader but just a court favorite, staying in Polis as a symbol and putting all her energy into convincing Lexa to do or not do things and having to depend on Lexa to do or not do things to save her people.

Maybe that arc was better if you look at it from Lexa’s POV or as Lexa fan, since a lot of her fans seem to enjoy it. But I don’t think her arc is great, either. Her transition from adhering to “Blood must have blood” to deciding to be a peaceful leader happened very quickly - she was going to go to war against Arkadia in 3x05 and changed her mind at the very end of that episode when Clarke told her she should be a peaceful ruler. She still wasn’t sure about it in 3x06. And they kind of made it all in the end about her romance with Clarke, which made it a very muddled arc: did she really change her policy mostly because of Clarke’s influence (as Titus and everyone around her believed) or did she start to really question everything she had been taught and believe in another way? How would she have dealt with the opposition to her new policy among her subjects? Would she continue to rule as a tyrant and use violent means – as she was taught a Commander should –or would she come to the conclusion that, in order to attain peace, you need to use peaceful means, too? We should have had more time with her struggling with that and making those decisions without Clarke and without the context of Clexa romance. And definitely a different death would have been a much better writing choice - either in battle or something else that was about politics and war, not right after sex with a bullet meant for her lover.

Another, most unexpected Luna mention happens – in bed, when Clarke is looking at the tattoos on Lexa’s back, and hears about the Conclave for the first time, and the fact Luna was one of the kids she was meant to fight.

My favorite moment of the episode is when Clarke finds Murphy tied up – certainly the last thing she expected to see in Polis – and yells “He is my friend!” That was kind of funny and unexpected, since they were hardly what anyone would call friends in seasons 1-2, but they do become more friendly in this episode, where Murphy later even offers her sympathy for Lexa’s death.

Finally, the Becca flashbacks… The first time I watched this, I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly bothered me about them, but I just found them boring and annoying. The second time I started to realize, and now I’m sure: it’s because Becca’s actions make no sense to me. Are we supposed to like her or be on her side? She comes off as an insufferable megalomaniac, the savior complex gone wrong. The android you created destroyed the world, and you think an improved version of that same android is going to save it? Really? And you get a bunch of people killed just to preserve it?

And this is the big revelation about the Flame, and Becca as the first Commander. This is probably my least favorite plot point on the show, ever. What were the writers smoking every time they came up with some new element of the Grounder culture? None of it makes sense, but the chip, in particular, creates a bunch of plot holes. The fact that Grounders managed to forget all the technology, history, culture, just after 97 years (in fact, less – they’ve been like that for a while, presumably) never made any sense – but it is even harder to make sense of if the Commanders all have memories of a genius scientist from before the apocalypse. I have no idea if the show expects us to take the Grounder tradition and belief seriously, and why it romanticizes it so much. From what we can see, having memories of past Commanders never helped any of them be any wiser. So how exactly did the chip help anyone? Unless it was all just about the prospect of ALIE 2.0 one day helping put down the original ALIE.

Timeline: How much time did the villagers need to get from their village to Polis? That’s the amount of time that passed since the end of 3x06. This should mean there have been about two weeks since the beginning of the season, give or take a couple of days.

Body count:

One minor character death - Semet stabbed by Titus

The most infamous death on the show: Lexa, shot and deadly wounded by Titus

This does not exactly count as it happened way in the past, but the flashbacks covered the deaths of most of the population of Earth (six and a half billion people, according to what Becca says in 3x16), and then later, everyone from the Polaris station minus Becca.

Rating: 3/10

3x08 Terms and Conditions

Timeline: This episode seems to take place approximately at the same time as 3x07, in a different location and with a different set of characters, taking place fully in Arkadia, which is under Grounder blockade that they are promising to lift only if Pike is handed over to them.

While 3x07 didn’t feature any of the main cast characters other than Clarke, Octavia and Murphy (and was the first episode of the show that Bellamy didn’t appear in), this is the first episode without Clarke or Octavia. It’s a pretty solid and intense episode that focuses only on the growing tensions inside Arkadia, especially the mistrust and schemes as the two sides are spying on each other and luring each other into traps. It’s like a little political thriller about what happens when a community living in the state of war and isolation and increasing paranoia starts looking for enemies not just outside but inside, with sharp divides between friends, families and lovers.

This is also most of all a Bellamy-centric episode, which starts with him doubling down on his loyalty to Pike, and ends with him finally making the decision to turn against him – maybe not yet to the point of being ready to hand him over to the Grounders, but certainly enough to go behind his back in order to save his friends. Bellamy has looked unsure about Pike’s policies since 3x05 when he told Pike “We went too far” about the killing of the Grounder army, and after that he was obviously increasingly uncomfortable whenever he realized how far Pike was willing to go, but whenever someone (Kane, Octavia, Clarke) would try to change his mind, he would bring up some of the reasons why he joined Pike in the first place (mostly their history with the Grounders and the resulting distrust) and double down on his allegiance, maybe because, to admit to himself he was wrong, he would also have to admit that he’s made a terrible mistake again and killed people he didn’t need to kill. Monroe’s and Lacroix’s deaths in 3x06, apart from being Pike’s reason/justification to start looking for traitors within Arkadia – or rather, prove that the ‘traitor’ was Kane, and find those helping him – also seems to have convinced Bellamy to go along with it. Another thing that made him double down even more is the Grounders delivering their terms with threats and heads of the dead Arkadia guards who got caught over the line. Shooting them on the spot is certainly one of Bellamy’s most impulsive violent moments, but it’s not surprising he wouldn’t react well to that. But when Pike decides not just to keep Kane and the others imprisoned, as Bellamy thought he would (and as Pike first said he would do, after arresting Sinclair), but condemns Kane to death for treason and attempted murder (for trying to deliver him to the Grounders), it’s the crucial moment where you can see Bellamy start changing his mind: “Are we killing our own people now?”

Pike’s policy certainly escalated from 3x04 when he argued to the crowd that they shouldn’t look for enemies among their own, inside Arkadia (and counted Lincoln among those their own). Bellamy’s attempts to pacify Pike up to an extent rarely worked, - maybe the one time it did was when Bellamy managed to convince Pike that the sick Grounders who tried to escape should not be punished, because they just didn’t plan an escape, just saw the door and run, “just as we would do”. But he can’t prevent Pike from sentencing Sinclair and Lincoln, as leaders of the failed escape, to death alongside Kane.

So many Finn references in season 3 – by Raven, Jasper, and now Pike (just none from Clarke since season 2). Arguing with Kane, Pike – who doesn’t believe Grounders would keep their promise if he gave himself up - brings up the time when, as he says, they gave Finn to the Grounders in similar circumstances: “You surrendered one of the young lives you were sworn to protect…” but it ended in Grounders betraying them. I guess that’s the idea he got from the short summary he heard from Monty (who was in Mount Weather when everything with Finn went down), but that’s not what happened. Finn gave himself up, after everyone had been protecting him as long as they could. Why didn’t Kane correct him? This may be one of those times when the writers forgot the details of what happened in season 2. Anyway, considering his genuine desire to protect the teenagers from the Ark, which we later see in the flashbacks of 3x13, I wonder what Pike would have done if he had found out that Miller and Harper were one of the “traitors”, and if he would go as far as to cross that moral event horizon or if that would make him stop, but we won’t ever know. He did find out about Monty’s betrayal in the following episode, but in that case he had to promise Monty’s mom he wouldn’t hurt him.

The strain that the political divide puts on relationships is best seen in the familiar relationship between the Greens – Monty eventually helps his friends behind his mom’s back – and the romantic relationship between Miller and Bryan, because Bryan is from the Farm Station and loyal to Pike because he feels he owes him his life, and because Bryan plants a bug on Miller. Bryan doesn’t feel about himself for doing that to someone he loves, but Bellamy tries to reassure him that this kind o deception and betrayal is OK “if you are doing it to protect him”. Bryan isn’t sure: “What if I am the one he needs protection from?” Parallel to Bellamy’s actions regarding Clarke in 3x05.

Kane was initially against Harper’s suggestion that they knock out Pike and give him up to the Grounders to lift the blockade, citing moral reasons – that it would practically be murder: “This is not who we are” = “Maybe it should be”, replies Miller. Two seasons ago, Kane was the one arguing for ruthlessness in the name of survival, but now he’s on the opposite end. However, he eventually changes his mind and agrees with Miller and Harper, and tries to hand over Pike himself.

The big argument between Kane and Pike after Kane’s arrest is a clash of two different views of the world. Kane calls out Pike on having become a dictator, and points out to him that the world is not the way he sees it and that his way of doing things is destructive and has no future. But Pike is convinced that he is being realistic and doing what is necessary for survival of his people, and his arguments, including invoking the Ark laws, must remind Kane of his old self back in early season 1.

The City of Light stuff in this episode is really strong. Having this storyline focus on Raven, who is incredibly strong but has suffered so much both physically and emotionally, and Jasper, who has been broken the most by his suffering, was the best idea of season 3. Raven, under ALIE’s influence, recruits Jasper to help her to look for the second AI that ALIE is focused on finding, but instead, Jasper ends up being a catalyst for Raven to finally understand the nature of ALIE’s brainwashing and turn against her. Raven is still wearing Finn’s necklace, but it turns out she has forgotten everything about him, including nice memories, like her first kiss. ALIE doesn’t just remove the pain, she removes all important and emotional memories (Jaha has forgotten Wells, Jackson has forgotten his mother…).

Is this the first time we see Maya’s music player, which Jasper kept, or was he already using it in 3x01? Was that what he was using to play Violent Femmes? This time he’s playing Algiers, the song “Remains”. Maya had good taste in music.

Body count:

4 Arkadia guards killed off-screen by Grounders, who delivered their heads,

2 Grounder warriors (the same ones who delivered said heads) shot by Bellamy

Rating: 7/10

3x09 Stealing Fire

This episode is much worse than I remembered it. It’s not even bad, it’s just mediocre.

That’s in large part due to the Polis storyline (again), which is particularly bad here. In the aftermath of Lexa’s death, we finally find out the details about the way that new Commanders are made: we had already learned in 3x07 that what was described as something mystical and similar to reincarnation, is actually more of a Dollhouse thing, with people having computer chips in their heads with memories of dead people< and now we find out that the romanticized story about the Commander’s “spirit choosing its successor” is actually about kids being forced to fight and kill each other until only one remains. That’s extremely disturbing. (It also makes the line about the Commander’s spirit nonsensical and probably referring to superstition.)

In addition to being messed up, the Conclave is also a really stupid idea. Best line of the episode – Clarke pointing out to Titus just how stupid their succession plan is (Nightblood people are so rare, let them kill each other). It’s terrible that Ontari kills all the children, but, as Roan explicitly points out, those children were all (but one) going to die anyway, except it was going to be by each other’s hand.

This is where Ontari really gets into focus as the new villain. She’s my least favorite character on the show – what a trashy, one-dimensional, over-the-top, badly acted villain, and on top of it all, she’s so sexualized, that her scenes, especially every time she interacts with Murphy, look like I’m watching some trashy exploitation movie fantasy. They even show her bathing and acting seductively towards her future rape victim. WTF is up with that? She manages to bring down the quality of the show several notches every time she’s on screen.

Roan, now King Roan, also comes back, and is in his usual maybe-ally-maybe-not mode, and saves Clarke and Murphy, but also supports Ontari, because she’s Ice Nation, so he doesn’t care that she’s batsh*t. He justifies it by throwing Mount Weather into Clarke’s face, and I’m really sick and tired of everyone (Lexa, Titus, Roan) making that comparison WHICH DOES NOT ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE to justify their BS.

Speaking of bulls*itting, Titus is a piece of work: dude actually tries to blame Clarke for Lexa’s death: “I may have pulled the trigger, but you killed her”. Yeah, Clarke, how dare you be my intended murder victim and not die!

Clarke, of course, desperately tries to ensure that Ontari doesn’t actually become the Commander, because she’s made it clear that she wants to kill all Sky people (and is generally awful), so she finally manages to convince Titus to give her the Flame to go and find Luna, who they all think is the last Nightblood (how lucky that Clarke remembered that and that she asked Lexa about that in bed). Before that, there’s a lot of talk about how the Flame works – according to Titus, if a bad person like Ontari gets the Flame, it only enhances those bad qualities, all the more reason not to give her that. (Does that mean it works kind of like Dr Erskine’s serum?) According to Titus, Lexa was the “wisest and purest” of the four Commanders he’s served (and Titus is not even super old, so that gives you an idea that Commanders tend to die violently). I really don’t know if this is supposed to be objectively true – Lexa made quite a few really bad decisions, from starting an unnecessary war against the Delinquents and losing, to making a deal with the Mountain Men and betraying the Sky people, to expecting Sky people to accept her as their Commander afterwards; but she was said by Emerson to be different from most Commanders because she was making alliances, and we don’t know anything about the earlier Commanders, except that they probably constantly waged wars between clans, killed a lot of people through the “Blood must have blood” motto, and failed to mount any serious resistance against the Mountain Men…. So it’s entirely possible that most Commanders were terrible leaders. So having the Flame didn’t exactly help them, did it? The one thing that would have been useful, Becca’s technological and scientific knowledge, they somehow didn’t know about.

On the other hand, Titus is hardly objective – dude is very genuine (and rather creepy) in his pseudo-religious adoration of his mentee/daughter figure/Heda Lexa (who, we learn from Luna later in 3x14, was his favorite even as the novice in the Conclave), He even kills himself with Roan’s sword, refusing to give Ontari the Flame, with the last words “For Lexa”. I don’t doubt that he really did love her in his toxic, controlling and manipulative way.

Throughout seasons 2 and 3, Murphy’s role was basically to be thrown around between various random storylines, and have bad things happen to him, while making snarky remarks and talking about being a survivor. Murphy ending up as Ontari’s fake Flamekeeper – just because he happened to be there and see when Titus took the chip out of Lexa - is one of the most random things that’s happened on the show. You’d think that Grounders would make sure that there would be more people who knew to do that, since the position of the Flamekeeper is so important.

The storyline in Arkadia is more interesting but also really frustrating in many ways.

The one good thing that happens is the Kabby development. Faced with the likelihood of Kane being executed, Abby indirectly admits that she loves him, by saying: “I can’t do this again” (see the man she loves die), and later, when he has to escape from Arkadia for the time being, Kane kisses her. Most romantic relationships on the show are either rushed or developed off-screen, so it’s good to finally see one that can be called slow-burn = their chemistry was obvious back in season 1 -and has had genuine development, but hasn’t been endlessly dragged out (slow-burn by TV standards – it’s actually just normal-burn, since it has been less than six months since the Pilot).

The episode starts as a follow-up to the resolutions from the end of 3x08 – Bellamy and Monty come to Miller and Harper, offering help and trying to convince those two they are on their side now because they want to save Kane, Sinclair and Lincoln, though Miller and Harper are unsure if they should trust them – trust between the Delinquents has really been damaged by the events of the previous episodes. Harper teases Monty about his mother, apparently not believing that he could oppose her or go behind her back, which Monty indeed does to help his friends. Bellamy opts to set up a meeting with Octavia to help her save Lincoln.

The Green mother-son relationship is pretty complicated – Hannah knows Monty ‘betrayed’ Pike to help his friends, so she warns Monty to get away but claims she didn’t give him up… although she actually did, she just asked Pike to promise not to hurt Monty. (This reminds me of Abby turning Jake to Jaha.)

The relationship between Miller and Bryan has been strained due to everyone spying on each other, especially since Bryan put a bug on Miller, and Miller found out someone did it, since Bellamy had to remove the bug first when he came to talk to him. And it wasn’t hard to guess who put it there. Miller makes Bryan reveal it, or maybe his intent was more to see if Bryan would choose him over his political affiliation and loyalty to Pike. Which he does, but that was when the stakes were as high as Miller’s life. The relationship was surprisingly fine after this point, I guess Miller was fine with Bryan making his choice at this point.

On the other hand, the Blake sibling relationship doesn’t heal so easy but gets worse, because Octavia meets Bellamy’s offer of help but nothing but distrust and anger, electrocutes him and chains him up in a cave and declines his help, saying that she doesn’t need his help “for the first time in my life”. Not a good decision on her part, since Bellamy’s plan was much more likely to work without alerting Pike, since he still had Pike’s trust and could have used that, unlike Octavia’s plan to be the lone hero – which was a lot more dramatic, but resulted in Pike using the interned sick Grounders to blackmail Lincoln to come back, under threat of the others being executed instead. Was that a deliberate parallel between Octavia electrocuting and handcuffing Bellamy, Bellamy handcuffing Clarke, Clarke electrocuting him to escape, and between Octavia electrocuting Bellamy and Lincoln knocking out Octavia with a syringe at the end of the episode, so he can go back to save his people and stop her from coming with him? Very different situations, but there has been a lot of that going around between people who love each other.

Lincoln’s death was a heroic, martyr-like one; he chose to sacrifice himself for others, which is fully in-character for him. His last words and the choice of music (“Cloud” by Elias) were really good. But it’s really hard to talk about Lincoln’s death without thinking of all the ugly BTS drama connected to it, and the fact that he barely had any screentime or development in season 3, makes me a bit bitter, as does thinking about the interesting storylines he could have had.

It’s interesting that one of the things Ricky said in his post-season 3 interviews was that he thought moving the death of his character from the finale, when it was planned, to this early, undermined the story, because, in his opinion, it made Pike too much into a villain. I thought the show was already going maybe too much in that direction, and Pike is actually not portrayed in muhaha villain fashion at any point, not even here (his attitude is more like that which we’ve seen, for instance, in Lexa – I don’t particularly want to do this, but I must do it to demonstrate my authority - but it’s true that the one thing audience doesn’t forgive characters is killing a beloved major character. However, in hindsight, Lincoln would have to die at some point even without the BTS drama, so Octavia would start her dark development.

Timeline: The episode starts almost immediately after 3x08.

Body count:

Seven Nightblood children/novices, including Aden,

Titus - suicide

Lincoln, executed by Pike – this is first death of a character billed as main cast member since Finn in mid-season 2, and third overall (the first one was Wells, another infamous death of a black character on The 100)

Rating: 5/10

3x10 Fallen

This is one of the episodes that’s really tricky to rate, because it has one storyline that’s great (the confrontation between Raven and ALIE), one storyline that is really good but where I have some issues with how certain things are portrayed in the long run (Blake siblings), but the third one is worst thing the show has ever done.

The City of Light scenes in this episode are really strong. I’m amazed to realize just how often in season 3 that storyline was the best thing or one of the best things about an episode, even though I found its conclusion in the season 3 finale really underwhelming. ALIE messing with people’s minds and characters either succumbing or fighting her was the most interesting part of that plot (way more interesting than everyone eventually joining to fight the evil robot). Raven’s storyline in seasons 3 and 4 is generally pretty strong and original, you don’t often see a character fighting a battle with and in their brain. Here, she tries to defeat ALIE, first by blocking her from her mind, and then she finds a way to block her permanently – through the wristbands that the 100 wore in season 1. (I’m not even going to pretend to understand Raven’s explanation how that’s supposed to work, it’s really not my field.) But Jaha finds and destroys them all (of course, there’s where the detail from 3x01 – Clarke noticing that Niylah had one of the wristbands – is going to come in).

This is where ALIE achieves her victory in Arkadia, managing to chip almost everyone. She wins the battle against Raven by making her relive all her most painful memories, from physical torture – like being drilled in Mount Weather, tortured in Tondc, her operation, to seeing Finn die. This kind of thing can break even the strongest person, and Raven breaks.

We learn that Jackson has also already taken the chip. We also get a bit of backstory on him – his painful memory that he forgot is the death of his mother Mary from an illness, and he became a doctor because he wanted to save people the way he couldn’t save her. (I’m still confused why everyone on the Ark, which was supposed to originate from 12 different nations. has English first names and why almost everyone has English last names as well, with rare exceptions like the Jahas, Raven Reyes and John Mbege, but that’s a part of this show’s problems with worldbuilding.)

ALIE forces Abby to take the chip, too , by making Raven cut her wrists and almost kill herself. Lindsey Morgan’s performance as Raven and ALIE in Raven’s body is amazing.

Jasper is the only one in Arkadia who isn’t chipped at this point, and he manages to escape in the Rover and save Raven, before he bumps into Clarke, which is very fortunate since Clarke is the one who knows where to find the wristbands. These are some Jasper’s last heroic moments, before he breaks and has an antiheroic role at the end of the season.

But thanks to the other two storylines, I tend to think of this episode as the one where engage in physical and sexual abuse of men, to questionable and varying portrayal on the show/responses from the fandom.

The Blake siblings relationship has always been dysfunctional, but it goes to another level here.. I get that Octavia is grieving and I have sympathy for her, but that does not excuse beating the crap out of your brother, and then not showing any remorse. Some people argue it’s not abuse because Bellamy allowed her to do it, asking Miller and others not to interfere. Just like he later let her treat him as a “hostage”, even though he obviously could have overpowered her any moment, since he did it immediately when he wanted to - after Pike told people to shoot Octavia in the leg. But if the genders were reversed, I very much doubt that the viewers would be that blase over a grieving male character dealing with his issues by brutally beating his sister bloody, or that they would be OK with it because she allowed him to do it because she loves him, or because “she deserved it” (yikes!). That justification is wrong and disturbing even if Bellamy were actually responsible for Lincoln’s death. Which is highly questionable at the very least. He did come to her and offer to help get Lincoln out, but she chose to distrust him, treat him as a villain and chain him up and went to rescue Lincoln on her own - but Bellamy’s plan was better and he had an opportunity to use Pike’s trust in him, just as he did in this episode. So, one could argue that if Bellamy should be considered partially responsible for Lincoln’s death (for unintentionally setting the chain of events in motion that ended with his death), so should Octavia. But I’m sure it’s much easier for Octavia to blame Bellamy than to blame herself or not have a punching bad to take out her pain on (since Pike is not there), and Bellamy also prefers it that way, both because he cares about Octavia’s well-being more than his own, and because he’s always feeling guilty over things.

This pretty much encapsulates the dysfunctional Blake sibling relationship, which never had a chance to be normal, due to the circumstances they were raised in. He is always doing things to protect her and being self-sacrificial, like a parent towards their child, and she’s blaming him for everything that goes wrong, assuming the worst of him the moment he is not only doing things she is in favor of, and taking things out on him at least half of the time

Unlike something else from another storyline in this episode, I don’t have a problem with how the beating is dealt with in the scene itself – it’s portrayed as a dark and disturbing moment, and Miller and the others are obviously upset. But the fact that, after this, it’s still all framed as Octavia having to forgive Bellamy things and having nothing to feel about or be forgiven for, really bugged me and made me unable to like Octavia again for a long time after this

I don’t know if the show was trying to fool the audience into thinking that Bellamy was really going to hand over Octavia to Pike and betray the rest of the group – I always found it really obvious it was a ploy. Anyone who knows Bellamy would have known he would have never prioiritize Pike over Octavia - at the time he probably wouldn’t prioritize Octavia over anyone (it took six more years for him to be able not to always put her first), but it wasn’t obvious to Octavia, since she actually believed his ploy.

Octavia wasn’t the only one who treated Bellamy as a villain throughout 3x09-3x10. Kane was also doing that, calling him an enemy an insisting he couldn’t be trusted, and the rest listened to him. Which is interesting, since Bellamy and Monty came to Miller and Harper to offer help after Kane, Lincoln and Sinclair had been condemned to death, and Bellamy has been trying to help since, while everyone is apparently cool with Bryan, who only switched sides after Miller figured out that he was the one spying on him, because he wasn’t able to sacrifice his boyfriend. Maybe Kane, Octavia and the rest were hanging out in The 100 fandom in 2016 too much… But I guess that’s just the way this show works – the more important a character is, the more blame and punishment they get from everyone and themselves and the more they need to work for redemption, so Clarke gets blamed the most and Bellamy gets blamed for things he didn’t do together with Clarke, while supporting and especially minor characters can get away with much more because the show doesn’t care enough to focus on them.

When Bellamy turns over Pike to the Grounders, which is to ensure peace and lifting of the blockade, Kane asks if he did it because it’s the right thing or for his sister, and when he doesn’t get the answer, points out that it matters, and „Until you understand that, you will still be lost“. Which is a good point, Bellamy does still need at this point to work out some things and not just make his decisions on the fact that he wants to protect Octavia… and Kane, and Lincoln, and Sinclair, and Harper and Miller (because the lives of all of those that made him decide to turn against Pike, though protecting Octavia is what made him decide to give up Pike to the Grounders. It should be about general principles rather than just protecting those you care about… So why is this one of the moments where I find Kane kind of irritating? There’s something about the way he gives his mentorship advice that grates on me at times, even if he’s making good points – he sometimes comes off kinda of condescending.

Unfortunately, this episode has another plot – everything in Polis with Ontari and Murphy. Even after everything else that I had a problem with this season, everything involving Ontari in this episode is utter trash and feels like it comes from some much cheesier and worse show. If that was the only thing I was judging this episode by, it would get a 1/10. Ontari in general is a terrible character – not because she’s evil, evil people can be good characters, but she’s not.

But that’s not all - he premise is completely nonsensical: she has to prove that she’s a real Commander by… reciting the names of all previous Commanders, which they said only a real Commander would know? What??! That’s like saying only a President of USA would know who the previous Presidents were. You don’t need to have a freaking chip with the memories of dead Presidents to know their names, LMAO.

After the show went two and a half seasons without any rape, but now we get that with Ontari/Murphy… Which wouldn’t be a problem, if the show really acknowledged that and treated it accordingly. But that doesn’t seem to be the case? On the one hand, they make it clear that she has full power over his life and she makes it clear she will kill him if he refuses to have sex with her (what exactly do people think that is? Yet I’ve seen articles describing Ontari as „Murphy’s former lover“!), and he will reiterate that a couple of times later… but the way the scene is portrayed is at odds with that – tit’s all sexualized, they even use the same music as in the Clarke/Niylah consensual sex scene in 3x01..it all feels very It can’t be rape when it’s a dude being forced to have sex with hawt chick, har har, right? Ugh. The worst scene in show’s history.

Timeline: The amount of time that passed between since 3x09 and the end of this episode is the amount of time that Clarke needed to get from Polis to Arkadia - so probably about a day, which is the case with most episodes (except 3x03, which took place a week after 3x02, and I don’t know how much time passed between 3x05 and 3x06 – a day or a few days). I guess this means this takes place some 16-18 days since 3x01.

Body count:

Three Arkadia guards who were with Pike, shot by Grounder arrows

Shawn Gilmer, stabbed by Octavia – because of course she was going to take a chance to finish that dude.

(Not really body count since the poor guy didn’t die – I guess – but there’s a scene where Ontari gets to be Ontari and gorge out an emissary’s eyes, after he has questioned her authority.)

Rating: 4.5/10

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marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer · 5 years

Text

MTVS Epic Rewatch #210

BTVS 7x22 Chosen

Stray Thoughts

You know what? I don’t think I am, Buffy.

1) You know the baddy’s fate is sealed when they dare call Buffy a bitch, right?

2) Watching Buffy ax Caleb right in the balls and then make puns about it fills me with infinite joy.

3) I think you all know by now I’m not a Bangel shipper, so I wonder how Angel shippers feel about Buffy and Angel’s last on-screen conversation being about Spike. Doesn’t it feel a bit like a wasted opportunity? It’s not really OOC for Angel to act jealous and possessive (even though in the universe of the show he’s spent the last two years approximately being in love with Cordelia, so why does he think he has any right to question Buffy’s love life? Anyway, I know that’s the writers' fault – how they always blatantly ignored whatever was happening in each show for the shippy crossover moment – but the end result is that Angel looks like a two-timing asshole who can’t make up his mind about what or who he wants.) But like, the world is ending, this is what you want your last conversation to be…?

He is. He is a 200+ years old man-child-pire.

5) The cookie dough speech, though? One of my favorite speeches in the show…

I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat… or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.

I think it’s one of the finest messages the show delivered, and it’s especially important coming from Buffy herself, someone who was seldom not in a relationship.

6) Callback #1…

This parallels both Angel’s first appearance in the show in Welcome to the Hellmouth as well as his exit from the show in Graduation Day Part 2.

7) Oh, Xander…

8) Of course, the shipping wars wouldn’t be complete without Spuffy talking about Angel. Guh.

9) Iconic!

You know, one of these days I'm just gonna put you two in a room and let you wrestle it out. There could be oil of some kind involved.

One can only dream!

10) This gives me a lot of feels… It’s such a small gesture but it means she finally trusts him.

11) You see what I mean when I say the First was fucking idiotic? Always giving Buffy the precise information she needed in order to defeat it? I mean…

None of those girlies will ever know real power unless you're dead. You know the drill: Into every generation, a slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will have the strength and skill to— There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die. Alone. Where's your snappy comeback?

Like, seriously, do you even want to destroy the world? You’re not trying real hard!

12) Yeah, you fucking are!

13) See? Cut to the next morning, Buffy is telling the others her plans, inspired by none other than the First itself! I don’t think she would’ve thought of it if he hadn’t mentioned the fact that they needed the potentials to have real power, the power of a slayer.

14) Sweet, innocent Dawnie!

WILLOW This goes beyond anything I've ever done. It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way.

BUFFY I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could do it.

WILLOW I—I'm not sure that I'm stable enough.

GILES You can do this, Willow. We'll get the coven on the line, and we'll find out how they can help.

DAWN Oh! "Pierced tongue."

15) This line always gives me chills!

16) Although their conversation is cute…

ROBIN Faith—Make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.

FAITH What would be the surprise?

ROBIN You do know the meaning of the word, right?

I really don’t see the point in spending precious minutes of a finale on these two. If we needed Faith to get closure with anyone, that was Buffy.

17) I don’t actually hate Kennedy on this episode. Wow. I never thought I’d say that.

18) How the mighty have fallen…

Although I think I missed the part where he was a “highly respected watcher”...

19) And then this scene…

I’ve talked about it before, so I’m going to leave you the link in case your interested to know what I make of it as a Spuffy shipper.

20) Oh, Anya…

ANYA So that leaves me and the dungeon master in the north hall?

ANDREW We will defend it with our very lives.

ANYA Yes, we will defend it with his very life.

XANDER And don't be afraid to use him as a human shield.

ANYA Good, yes, thanks!

21) aNDREW HAD A FUCKING SPEECH PREPARED, I CAN’T!

22) Now, this is what this season should’ve been about…

23) And callback #2…

24) Ok, this is one my greatest movie/tv pet peeves. Why would anyone cut their hands? I get it, you need blood or whatever. I can think of 10 parts of your body you could get it from which wouldn’t be as inconvenient as your hand. Like, how do they continue doing things with a fucking open wound on the palm of their hands? It doesn’t make any sense! And it’s always the fucking hand! WHY!?

25) This is probably the scariest shot in the show, isn’t it? (even if the CGI wasn’t that great…)

26) Oh, man, this speech still gives me chills!

BUFFY So here's the part where you make a choice: What if you could have that power... now? In every generation, one slayer is born... because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power... should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer... will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power... will have the power... can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?

I love it. I do. It is an empowering moment, it’s Buffy and the slayers breaking free from the Council, taking back the power that was imposed onto them, choosing that power.

The irony is not lost on me, however, that Buffy is making the choice for – and therefore removing the agency of – every single potential slayer who is not in that room. She did ask the ones living with her, but what about the rest? What if they don’t want that power and its responsibility?

In spite of this, it still holds up as one of the greatest moments in the show.

Side note: I read somewhere (or saw an interview?) about how this speech was much longer, and how SMG delivered the whole speech in its entirety without making any mistakes, and when she ended everyone was so in awe at what she’d done as an actress that they started clapping. She is a great actress, isn’t she?

27) And our Willow has come full circle, hasn’t she?

28) Iconic shot!

29) Bless you, Anya!!

30) …

R.I.P. Anyanka Emanuella Jenkins, former vengeance demon, self-appointed American and defender of capitalism, arch-nemesis of bunnies, hater of subtleties, teller of truths.

I know the way Anya went pissed off a lot of people, especially because it’s almost a blink-and-you-missed-it moment. I do, however, feel that someone had to die in this way. Someone important, I mean. Not every main character death in the show could have a big preamble and a huge aftermath. Sometimes you see death coming, but other times, it happens in an instant and it’s done. That’s especially true in big battles like the one in this episode. There is no time to stop and mourn because if you do, you might end up on the dead pile yourself.

We see later how the only ones concerned about Anya are Xander and Andrew. That makes sense, too, in my opinion. Anya was never a true member of the Scooby gang. She was merely there because of Xander. I’m not saying that was okay, I’m simply stating a fact. In fact, I’ve voiced my annoyance about the way Buffy and Willow treated her several times. (This is proven by how little thought was given to her feelings after Xander left her at the altar…) It hardly matters anyway, because if she wanted to be remembered and missed by anyone, that most certainly was Xander. Her life revolved around him, for better or worse.

But, apart from this, I think this was a fitting way to finish her journey – from vengeance demon, to inadequate teenager, to girl in love, to working gal, to scorned lover, to vengeance demon again, to humanity connoisseur and admirer. She overcame her fear of death and she embraced her humanity, and she died stupidly fighting for what she believed in, just like humans do.

31) I think this is one of the most underrated puns in the show.

32) Have you noticed how they are killing the Ubervamps with… stakes? Retcon much?

33) Oh, bollocks, indeed…

34)It kind of breaks my heart when Spike says that he can really feel his soul like he didn’t really believe it was actually there until now.

35) Oh, god, my Spuffy heart…

Does Buffy really love Spike, though?

36) "I wanna see how it ends.”

R.I.P. Spike. Sort of. Not really.

37) I really like this shot…

Buffy just stares at the open road, her life ahead, her future, thoughts she’d never before allowed herself to indulge in because death was always around the corner. But now? There’s literally a world of possibilities…

38) Callback #3…

You left like you arrived, Spike. Goodbye home, sweet home.

39) Bless you, Andrew.

XANDER So, did you see?

ANDREW I—I was scared. I'm sorry.

XANDER Did you see what happened? I mean, was she...

ANDREW She was incredible. She died saving my life.

XANDER That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing.

40) I just love the fact that the original cast members are the only ones in the last shot BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS SEASON SHOULD’VE BEEN ABOUT. EHEM.

41) I just…

WILLOW Yeah. The First is scrunched, so... what do you think we should do, Buffy?

FAITH Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?

DAWN Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?

Buffy:

ME:

I will try to form a coherent thought because as I write this, I’m still bawling my eyes out. This ending is especially poignant for me because Buffy is my favorite character, so all I’ve ever wanted was her happiness. It’s been seven years. Seven years of heartbreak, pain, mourning loved ones, non-stopping fighting. Seven years of feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. A girl, alone in the world, fighting the forces of evil. Never allowing herself to look forward because that always leads to disappointment and crushed expectations. But now? Nothing is stopping her now, nothing is holding her back. The open road is right ahead, and she can go and do whatever she wants to.

The show had to end with a final shot of Buffy. This was her journey, and though it’s far from over, that smile assures us that yes, she will be fine.

I guess it gives all of us a little bit of hope.

42) Is Chosen a perfect episode? I don’t think so. I think too much time was wasted on ship moments and side characters. There’s a lot of talk but not the kind I usually enjoy the most. It’s only half-way through the episode – when they get to Sunnydale High - that you really get that feeling of “Oh fuck, this is really the end, this is actually happening!”

But I do think it’s a good ending, nonetheless. There’s an epic battle – although I do enjoy the season 3 battle much more… - there’re callbacks and special character moments, there’s closure and there’s death because it wouldn’t be Buffy if no one ever died. (You lied, Giles.)

More importantly, it does what series finales ought to do – it pays tribute to its characters, and it’s a gift to the fans. I don’t think we should ever measure the quality of a show by how good their series finale is, you know? When I think of this show – and we all know I think about it a lot – it’s not “Chosen” what comes to mind. It’s everything that came before it. Chosen is a celebration of and a tribute to all of that. And as such, it is a perfect finale.

43) Thank you to everyone who has ever read one of my recaps, you are the reason I pushed through even when I felt like giving up. Thank you for sharing my unconditional love for this show. I love you all, too.

44) If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #BTVS #Buffy Summers #Chosen #Sarah Michelle Gellar #MTVSepicrewatch #BTVSrewatch2015 #mine #recap #btvsrecap

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