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#(Feel free to correct me on some things if I need to change it)
yandere-daze · 3 months
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I´ve had this idea plague my mind for the last few days and now it´s finally time for me to unleash it onto the world. Feel free to comment on or ask questions about this idea/ AU if you find it interesting!
This work was inspired by the normalized yandere genshin AU I stumbled upon while scrolling through Tumblr, created by @fancyfeathers
Hope you enjoy!
gn reader
2,2k words
tw yandere, normalized yandere behaviour, mentions of obsession, possessiveness, kidnapping, stalking, murder, emotional manipulation and isolation
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Yandere! Genshin Academy/Normalized Yandere AU
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In this AU, yanderes are a normal and accepted part of society. Not only are their toxic attitudes and behaviours permitted but even encouraged. Somehow, over the years, people have even started to wish for a yandere as their partners. By Teyvat society at large, yanderes are seen as somewhat of an ideal partner. They´re fiercely loyal and would do absolutely anything for their darlings, right?
And yet, many darlings sing a different tune when reality suddenly comes crashing down onto them when a yandere actually starts pursuing them. Fantasizing about things such as being kidnapped is simply something entirely different compared to experiencing the real thing. And yet, when they call out for help from their loved ones, they´re simply patted on their back and congratulated. Some might even express their condolences to the poor yandere, saying that it always takes a bit of time for a darling to realize that this is for the best.
You are one of the few people who are completely horrified by the concept of a yandere and even more so to see everyone around you treat kidnappings or murder sprees as something completely normal or even romantic. You shudder at the thought of ever attracting the attention of a yandere, knowing that you would have no one to help you avoid that dreadful fate.
Which is why your complete world is turned upside down when you´ve been registered at the wrong academy by mistake. An administrative error, you were told. One, that might take a few weeks or even months to correct.
Now normally, you would have been annoyed but fine with this. You would just have to bear with it for a bit and attend a different school until the error is fixed and you can finally go to your desired one.
But you felt a pool of dread form deep within you when you did some research on the academy you had been wrongly assigned to. It actually wasn´t all that easy to find information on the academy, which you found strange, seeing as this has never been an issue with any other well-regarded academy. But no matter how much you search, nothing concrete is to be found. Only a few abandoned forum posts where people asked around about their missing friend who had last been seen close to the academy in question.
It made you feel a bit uneasy but you figured that it probably didn´t have anything to do with the academy itself. As sad as it was, disappearances were happening all over Teyvat, so this one case wasn´t really of note.
But seeing as you couldn´t find anything else, you figured that you would just need to figure things out on your first day attending the academy.
And oh, were you in for a nasty surprise.
As soon as you sat down for your first lesson, you noticed how strange the atmosphere was. Everyone had been staring at you so strangely when you entered the room, it kind of unnerved you.
After that, a few introductions were exchanged and you slowly calmed down again. Your classmates seemed nice enough and you thought that maybe, your time here wouldn´t be so bad after all.
All that quickly changed when your professor finally entered the room and introduced himself as the instructor who would teach you the subject of "stalking".
Turning your head left and right, you tried to see if anyone else was as shocked about this as you were but to your surprise, no one even raised an eyebrow at this very concerning introduction.
A class on stalking? Maybe this wasn´t what you actually feared and more so a clumsy way of saying that this would be a psychology class focusing on the mental effects stalking has on the victims? With all these yanderes running around unchecked, there were bound to be many victims and so a class like this might actually be beneficiary. I mean surely they wouldn´t actually try to teach young adults how to kidnap someone, right?
Right?
Well, it turns out you were wrong when the professor started outlining different forms of stalking. Following "your darling" around, stalking them online, placing cameras or microphones in their rooms to observe them anytime you wanted.
Your mind was spiraling as you listened to the lecture and you briefly wondered at just what kind of an academy you had been enlisted in. Surely this must be some kind of joke, right? A prank played on newcomers at the academy to get them spooked? Surely someone is going to come in any moment, clear all of this up and then laugh at you actually falling for this?
But no matter how much you hoped for this to be the case, no one was coming. No one was making fun of you for falling for such an obvious prank. In fact, none of your classmates seemed perturbed at all by what was being taught here. How could they be okay with a lesson that basically amounted to "how to stalk someone 101"? You felt like you were losing your mind.
Glancing to your right, you see your blond deskmate eagerly nodding along to whatever the professor was saying and swiftly taking notes whenever a sentence seemed to particularly strike a chord with him. His red eyes practically sparkled as he outlined "helpful tips and tricks for not alerting your darling of your presence" on his paper, using a text marker to highlight a particular passage as if to say that it would come in handy in the future.
On your left, you saw another tall male student and for a moment you hoped that maybe, just maybe, there was someone else here who was bothered by the lecture given. He had a bored look on his face and he was wearing some type of headphones over his grey hair. Was he even paying attention? Maybe he was trying to cancel out the horrific lecture taking place at the moment.
You discreetly leaned over a bit, only to see that he was actually holding a book hidden under the desk, his eyes carefully following the paragraphs of tiny letters. Well, it seems like he certainly wasn´t paying much attention to the lecture because what he was secretly reading seemed to be some advanced material on the success rate of different methods of stalking, from the looks of it.
You quickly turned your head back when you saw him glancing over at you with an unreadable stare. Well, it looks like your hopes were dashed again after all. This guy was nuts too.
Knowing this, you really couldn´t do much aside from waiting for class to be over.
Your small hope that this was just a really strange outlier was quickly destroyed again in your following classes.
Next was a class on emotional manipulation and how to get your darling to depend on you.
Then, a class on how to force yourself into your darling´s life and how to approach growing closer to them.
Finally, the day ended with a lecture on how to kidnap your darling and make them disappear without a trace.
As the bell finally rung, the professor informed your class that there was also an optional class about how to effectively "get rid" of a rival that you can sign up for. You pretended to not be bothered when several students raised their hands to show their interest in attending this course.
You scrambled to get out of your seat as fast as possible, not wanting to stay in this hellish classroom for even a second later. You fled into the hallway and walk by groups of students excitedly chattering about things you didn´t want to listen to.
"Oh, I hope I can find my darling soon! I just know I´ll feel a special connection when we first make eye contact! I´ve been waiting for so long", the first girl swooned as she twirled strands of her long brown hair around her finger, seemingly lost in her own fantasies.
"Agreed. I know that once I meet my darling, I won´t let anything get between us. I will never let them go. It´s only a matter of time", the taller, blue-haired woman chimed in, her voice calmer than that of her excitable friend.
You didn´t like the way her eyes linger on you as you pass by them.
Once home, you tried to make contact with the administrative office again to ask them if the process of your transfer can be sped up in any way. You didn´t want to spend another second in that academy.
With what you have seen today, you were easily able to deduce the true nature of this academy and it left you absolutely terrified.
The fact that you weren´t able to find any information about the academy beforehand, your strange classmates fixated on their potential "darlings" and of course the horrid classes being taught there.
Somehow, you have ended up in an academy for yanderes. Every single person you saw there today was a lovesick lunatic in some shape or form. And the more you thought about it, the more you realized you were in huge danger there. What would your crazed classmates do if they ever found out that you actually weren´t a fellow yandere but someone they could claim as a "darling"? The very thought of it makes you sick. You have to get out of there immediately!
Which is why your heart dropped when after some long hesitation, the person on the phone finally answered you.
"You must excuse me but I´m afraid to tell you that there have been some... unforeseen circumstances that do not permit me to work on your case at the moment. I have been asked to postpone this matter until further notice".
"What? Why?", is all you could manage to say in your befuddlement. You knew bureaucracy can take a long time but for this woman to specifically be asked to postpone this? Just what was going on here?
Again, the woman on the phone hesitated to answer and you could hear a tinge of nervousness in her voice when she finally spoke up. As if she wasn´t sure if she was allowed to say what she was about to.
"I´m afraid that I´m not at liberty to provide this information. The person asking me to...focus on different cases for the meantime wished to stay anonymous. Even so, it is not within my power to refuse their wishes as they have provided our establishment with a generous donation. I sadly cannot help you with this issue", at least the woman did sound generally apologetic but that didn´t really help you in this situation.
Your mind was still reeling as you processed this information. Someone specifically asked for your transferal to not be worked on? Why would anyone do this? And they seemed to have a large fortune too? Why all this to make you stay around?
It can´t be that you already attracted someone´s attention while at the academy, right? Surely that couldn´t be true! You made sure to not interact with anyone directly after you realized just what kind of people attended this school. How could one of these yanderes have "fallen for you" already?
It seemed so utterly unbelievable and if you were being honest, you didn´t want to believe that it was true either. But nothing else made sense. Why would anyone do this otherwise?
Noticing your prolonged silence, the woman spoke up once more.
"I´m sure that all of this will be resolved soon. It will only be a few months. I am sure you will find many friends at your current school soon."
You sure hoped not. The thought of being noticed by any of the yanderes already made the hairs on your neck rise. You vowed to stay away from anyone who even showed a fleeting interest in you. You had to keep yourself safe until you can finally switch schools. You could do this, you had to!
You barely registered when the woman bid you farewell and hung up the phone after you once again didn´t answer her.
Now completely alone, you forged a plan. If you didn´t want to get involved in anything dangerous, no one could find out that you were actually here by mistake and not a yandere. Nothing could be worse than these lunatics finding out that you´re a darling, so you´ll have to be very careful. But how do you do this?
Well, it seemed like you must act like a yandere yourself. You would have to pretend that you´re a lovesick fool who totally isn´t bothered by all this talk about kidnapping, stalking, and murder. Thinking about it again already made you sick but you didn´t really have any other options. No one could find out or it was over for you.
You only hoped that you could convincingly play the part and that no one was perceptive enough to see right through you. Well, it couldn´t be that hard, right?
Surely no one already had their eye on you. Right?
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reiderwriter · 8 months
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i need a very angsty/light fluff with spencer to i can see you by taylor. i love your writing sososo much 💗💗
A/N: I'm not sure I got any light fluff in there but I certainly did make it angst 💀 thank you for the request 💗
W/C: 1.7k
Summary: Six months into your secret relationship, you're beginning to think that maybe Spencer doesn't love you the way you love him
Warnings: toxic relationship, Spencer is an ass and then he's kinda really intense. Inspired by:
Here's my masterlist, and I'm currently working on a request challenge, so feel free to check that out too! 💗
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Six months of dating was about as long as you could stand before you knew that it wasn’t going anywhere if things didn’t change. 
At first, you’d been on board with Spencer’s suggestion to keep your relationship secret for the first few weeks of dating. It made sense with you both working at the same place and on the same team, and you didn’t want to change the group dynamic. But weeks turned into months, and six months was a long time to wait for public recognition of a relationship that could be so much more than secret looks in the hallways and weekends wrapped up in each other. 
Everytime he brushed you off whilst at work, you felt part of your heart cracking. The first time he’d done it was only days after your mutual confessions. You’d been alone in a police precinct on some case or the other, and, needing a moment to process your emotions, you grabbed his hand for support. He’d pulled his from your grip quickly, doing his best not to make the sudden movements, and if was like your world was crashing down on you. You’d confronted him that night in his hotel room, and he’d blown you off again. 
“Y/N, we promised that this would stay between us for now. I’m sorry that I can’t be like other partners, and that I can’t give you what you need right now, but we can’t do… we can’t hold hands or kiss or seem any closer than we usually are to the others, okay?” He’d seemed so stressed you’d given in and backed down, but his words still stung. 
Months of the same scenarios repeating themselves felt like purgatory though, and you knew that you needed to either cut him loose or make him confess to the others. 
You hadn’t reached your tipping point when he’d got shot in the neck and forced you to stand on the sides. Just watching while other agents, agents who had known him longer, sure, but didn’t know how he felt, how he tasted, how his scent was enough to drive you crazy, fawned over him. They didn’t know that you would be so lost without him that you’d have gone insane if that bullet was in a different position. They didn’t know, and he didn’t care. He’d checked up on you in private, of course, but only when he was discharged. 
“Spencer, what would you have done if that had been me?” you asked him, when he questioned you. He stood staring at you for a minute, really taking the time to think about the words, think about the scenario you’d just asked him to recreate in his mind. You’d fallen for him because he was so goddamned thoughtful, because he always took the time to think and find the correct answer when he was talking to you. 
You wished then that he’d answered quicker. That it would have taken him less time to say that he would have been inconsolable, that he would’ve been lost without you, that he didn’t want to think about that ever happening at all. 
He didn’t say any of those things. 
“I’d do what you did. I’d have managed.” You’d wanted to scream at him then, but you didn’t. You just climbed into bed beside him and wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could without hurting him. You fell asleep to the image of him being shot playing over and over again. 
That had been three months into your relationship, and now with three more months of stolen kisses and antipathy, you’d reached your breaking point. Maybe it was the tension in the office from the latest case, maybe it was the detective openly flirting with you, but you certainly couldn’t control the explosion that had been brewing all this time. 
From the beginning of the week, the lead detective on your case had been making it clear and obvious that he wanted to take you out. He was showing such obvious and tempting advances that even members of your team were approaching you in private to ask you to consider. It was hard to explain to Emily and Morgan that you weren’t interested in the man, and when even Garcia started encouraging you on a phone call to go after “Detective Dreamy,” you’d almost burst into tears. 
Because throughout the advances, the obvious flirtation and the team banter, your boyfriend had not said a word either way. You weren’t sure what you actually wanted from him, because when he finally did say something, it was like he chose all the wrong words and strung them together in a sentence. 
“So how are you enjoying all the attention from Detective McDermot?” he’d asked casually, not glancing up from the pile of documents he was scanning. 
“What the hell is wrong with you, Reid?” you snapped. He looked at you in shock, completely oblivious that he’d said anything wrong. 
“Aren’t you jealous? Isn’t there some part of you that wants to let him know that I’m taken?” the tears were filling your eyes in rage, and you angrily swiped them away before they fell, not wanting him to use them against you. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that it was so upsetting to you. Do you want me to say something to him?” 
“Do you want to say something to him? Because it only matters if you actually want to do it.” 
“Y/N, that doesn’t even make sense.” 
“We’re at work, Reid, you’d do well to remember that. In this office, it’s Agent Y/L/N, right?” you grabbed the file you were working on and left the room, but you weren’t getting away from him that easily. 
“Y/N- Agent Y/L/N, wait,” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the nearest storage closet. 
“We promised each other, we promised that we wouldn’t tell anyone for a while, why are you being like this?” He still had a strong grip on your wrist and the intimate size of the storage closet had forced you together, his body pushing against yours. 
“What would you do? What would you do if I went out there and said I’d go on a date with him? Because right now, I’m getting concerned looks thrown at me by every member of the team because there must be something wrong with me if I’m turning him down.” The bitterness of your tone took him by surprise. 
“Don’t do that, for gods sake, do not do that Y/N.” 
“Give me one good reason. Scratch that, give me one explanation that I can give to get everyone off my back.” You pulled your wrist from his grip now, but he countered by grabbing your hips roughly and forcing you back into the wall, pinning you there. You couldn’t move, and you didn’t want to, intent on hearing his reply. 
“You’re mine,” he said it so quietly that had you not been pressed up against the entire length of him, you wouldn’t have heard it. You let out a little giggle at his words. 
“Fuck, Spencer, is that it? I’m yours?” you shook your head a little as his grip on you tightened, his head leaning down, forehead resting against yours as you shared in each breath he took in and let out. 
“I can see that you don’t want to be in a public relationship with me, Spencer. You don’t want to tell people about us, and that’s… that’s going to have to be enough for me, but I’m not sure how long it’s going to be enough.” 
“You don’t want to be with me anymore?” he asked after a minute, taking the time to calm himself before continuing. 
“No, God, Spencer, I love you so fucking much, that is not the issue here.” 
“Then what is? Because from where I’m standing, you’ve just suggested leaving me, leaving this.” 
“You are so fucking self-possessed sometimes,” the words would probably have cut deeper had his lips not been mere centimeters from your own. “I’ll be clear. I love you and I want other people to know that I love you, and that maybe you love me, too.” 
“But we talked about this before at the start-” 
“And that was six months ago, Spencer. I need more now. And I’m honestly a little hurt that you don’t want more now.” 
“I don’t want more?” He seemed genuinely surprised by the suggestion, and the hurt in his eyes stung for the few seconds he let it linger there. Instead of using his words to explain himself, he finally closed the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips into yours fervently. 
The kiss was angry, hot. It was the feeling of being deep in an argument and knowing that you still had to fight your way out. Your lips clashed, your mouths opened and your tongues began fighting for dominance as he attempted to push his way inside of you, to make you feel the strength of his emotions that he clearly couldn’t talk through. 
After a minute, you pushed him away, panting hard. 
“I want more and more of you by the second. I want to wrap you up and possess you, I want to make it so that no one else can even look at you, I want to make it that I am the only person on this planet that can see you, and everytime I think that, I get so scared.” He spits each word at you, still lost in the venom of the moment. 
“We fight monsters everyday, and each moment I spend with you, I feel like I can understand them more and more, because I think of you the same way they think about their victims. Does that not terrify you?” 
You let your hands trail up his body and into his hair as he talks, feeling vindicated now that he is finally spilling his guts to you.
“So yes, our relationship is private, because if I got the opportunity to possess you in public, I do not know what I would do to anyone who looked at you, even if they are our closest friends.” He dropped his forehead to yours again, somehow heavier this time. 
“You’re mine.” 
You stood there, still for a minute gathering your thoughts before you spoke again. 
“Are you going to tell them or not?” you breathed out, lowly, doing your best to not let your emotions get the better of you. 
“We’ve been arguing in this closet for five minutes and twenty eight seconds, Y/N. If they’re good at their jobs, I won’t have to tell them.” 
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schemmentigfs · 3 months
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Future Milf, part two.
part one!
paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.
summary: after the incident in the teacher's lounge, you start to avoid melissa who is willing to know what happened and trying to get things back to normal.
warnings: just a little angst but trust me, we have a happy ending!
author notes: This is a little rushed, but I hope you all enjoy this second part 🤍 I also wanted to thank the beautiful people who are sending requests for Mel, they are amazing and i'm already working on them! And don't worry, feel free to send any idea that comes to mind. It will be an honor for me to turn them into reality.
tags: @esposadejoyhuerta @gweninred @moistblobfish
English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes!
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The truth was that Melissa was completely disoriented, her brain trying to process what had happened in the last seven minutes. You acting like that and apologizing, leaving the room as quickly as possible made her worried as hell.
All she wanted was to comfort you and know what was really happening. There were a lot of doubts in her mind, to be honest. Had she done something? Or said something? The way you couldn't look into her green eyes was so strange..
Everything between you two was great until today, and then it all suddenly fell apart at lunchtime? That made her feel a little paranoid.
“Melissa, are you well? Are you hurt?” Barb asks.
“I don't know,” she said, staring into nothing, worrying her friends, “I just need to check on her.” The redhead gets up and runs to start looking for you.
“MELISSA! WAIT!” the entire Abbott crew screams, but she completely ignores it.
She stops in front of your classroom and notices that the door is locked. The lights are off, but Melissa knows you're in there.
“Sweetheart, please let me in,” she knocks gently, “I am not mad with ya. Don't worry about it, I just want to know how you are.” The older woman adds, almost begging for you to open the door.
Locked inside your classroom, you were sitting on the floor. Curled up hugging your knees, trying to find some comfort while crying. The whole situation was so fucking stupid, of course. But it still left you overwhelmed and on the verge of an anxiety attack.
So lending Melissa the future milf t-shirt made you completely lose your mind? Wow, you really were a stupid person. Stupid. That word stuck in your brain and made you cry even more.
Hearing your quiet sobs made the redhead's heart break into pieces. The thought of her doing something that made you hurt was utterly painful. The truth was that Melissa would blame herself for the rest of her life if she had made you feel bad in any way.
“Hon, c'mon. Let me—” she started.
“Don't. Melissa, please. Just go away, I need to be alone,” you interrupt her, hoping she would understand that you didn't have the strength to say anything else.
Before walking away, she whispers loud enough for you to hear. “If you need anything, you know where to find me. But please, promise me you'll be okay.” The redhead said trying to wipe away the small tears that threatened to fall from her face.
“I'll be fine. Now go.” You growl, unaware that your words have fully gotten to her.
It had been a while since Melissa changed her mood so quickly. She had learned to control her emotions, thanks to you, who helped her notice that it was okay to show them from time to time and it wasn't shameful at all. But at that moment everything seemed useless.
Her legs were shaking slightly and she kept tapping her fingers on the desk, while trying to focus on correcting some of the children's homeworks. It was clear that Melissa was almost having a huge panic attack.
Ashely, who was now scrolling through her cell phone boredly after making sure the students were doing their activities calmly and in silence, noticed the sudden change in the redhead and her eyebrows raised in confusion.
“What’s the matter, boss? You seem a little quiet since lunch time. Which is strange ‘cause earlier you were all excited and—”
The older woman rolls her eyes. “Nothing happened. I'm fine,” she responds, clenching her teeth, “everything is ok, kid.”
“Are you sure? I know we’re not that close, but if you need to vent, I’m all ears.” The girl shrugs.
Melissa's eyes widen, her aide was really willing to give her some advice? Normally, Ashley didn't tend to be very serious. When she tried to help, the girl always ended up saying things that were a bit nonsense. But this time, she was here ready to be a shoulder to lean on.
“Y/n..” she started but quickly corrected herself, not quite ready to confide the crush she had on you to anyone else than Barbara. “Today, a strange thing happened between me and a friend that honestly left me completely confused.”
“Oh. Do you have any idea what might have happened?”
Melissa stops for a moment, trying to get her head to work and think of a reason that could explain what had happened between the two of you.
“I-I can't explain it properly...everything was normal between us and when lunch time came...” the teacher stuttered, “she could barely look at me and when I told her to act like a real adult and tell me what was happening, she panicked and ran away.”
“After that you were able to talk to her?”
“Kinda, but she told me to leave her alone.”
Ashley gives her a pitying look, she knew who Melissa was referring to. Anyone who works at Abbott would know. “I'm sorry this happened boss, but I'm sure things will get better between you and her. Just give her a little time.”
Melissa nodded and smiled. “Thanks for the advice, hon.”
“Anytime boss, anytime.”
Changing my life with the wave of her hand.
Nobody can deny that there's something there.
There.
Running my hands through her hair.
Both of us thinking how good it can be.
Someone is speaking, but she doesn't know he's there.
The melody of Here, There And Everywhere by The Beatles echoed throughout the kitchen directly from the small radio on the balcony, while Melissa prepared dinner.
This was one of the many songs she always wanted to dedicate to you, the redhead dreamed of dancing with her arms around you, after a busy day at school while this song played. Just the two of you, enjoying each other's company.
Was it quite cliché? Of course it was, even for the one and only Melissa Schemmenti. But to be honest, she didn't care how it sounded.
The older woman was so in love with you that she thought of endless romantic scenarios every day. After what happened today, every one of them seemed distant. But she still had a simple hope within her.
“Watching her eyes, and hoping I'm always there,” she sings passionately, while cutting the tomatoes perfectly, “I want her everywhere, and if she is beside me. I know I need never care, but to love her is to need her everywhere.” Melissa closes her eyes for a moment, thinking about you.
On the way out, she looked for you in the Abbott parking lot but was unsuccessful, she was waiting for a message from you, saying that you had arrived home safely like you always did.
But you didn't send her anything.
A feeling ran through her body. It was as if the redhead was losing the most precious thing in her life. Desperate, Melissa picked up her cellphone that was leaning on the living room table and went to check on you. Screw the advice Ashely gave earlier, she couldn't wait anymore.
Hon, are you feeling better? I hope so. By the way, did you manage to get home safely?
Sorry if I sound desperate, but I need to know if things are ok.
Y/n? Please answer me.
Her heart breaks into pieces when she sees that you just viewed the message and didn't even make the effort to reply back. For fuck’s sake, what had she done that was so serious? Nothing made sense anymore.
Just a few blocks away, you were lying on the couch and drinking an entire bottle of vodka, pretending like you didn't care about not responding to Melissa's messages. It was immature, but it seemed to make sense to you. Since this whole milf situation was a complete disaster, ignoring her seemed right.
Of course, inside you felt like a monster, knowing that the redhead didn't deserve this. But what you could do?
“I’m ready to open another bottle and listen to a two-hour-plus loop of Chamber of Reflection,” you say, making Ava sigh.
The principal had stopped by your house hours ago to check on you and when she saw the miserable state you were in, she decided to stay there for a while. And tried to comfort you (in the most Ava Coleman way possible.)
“Y/N. Come on, you can't act like Schemmenti doesn't exist. If you keep doing that, she'll soon break into your place to find out what's going on,” she comments, “just like an episode of a soap opera where the greatest absurdities happen in an exactly dramatic way.” Ava finished her sentence while painting her nails a shade of red. The act catching your attention.
Red. It reminded you of Melissa.
Yeah, this was being harder than it seemed.
“Shut up, she won't come after me,” you said it like it was just another one of the stupid things Ava used to say.
“Yes, she will. And y’know that very well.”
The next day, Melissa sat with her arms crossed at the table she shared with Barb and you. The redhead stared at the small tupperware in front of her, last night she made what she knew was your favorite dish: pancakes. She was anxiously waiting for you to show up in the break room, but that didn't happen.
Keep calm, Schemmenti. She will appear soon. She won't ignore you.
“Dear..” the kindergarten teacher whispers and she snorts, trying to change the subject, disguising how tense she was.
“What’s so interesting out there?” Melissa asks as she notices Janine, Gregory and Jacob looking at each other with strange expressions after spying in the window.
“Nothing.” Jacob is the first to respond and the couple agrees with him, swearing that there was nothing interesting outside.
She laughs humorlessly, the history teacher simply didn't know how to lie.
“C'mon, kiddo. You guys look like you've seen a ghost.” The redhead gets up from the table and approaches the three, squinting to see anything out of the ordinary and when she does. Her breathing hitches.
On the sidewalk, there were you and another teacher, who she recognized as the art teacher. The woman was happily chatting with you and leaning too close to Melissa's chagrin.
Ms. Evans was know for her big crush on you, she was always fighting with the redhead to have your attention. And now that Melissa was being ignored by you, this bitch thought she could have you all to herself? No way.
“YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” she yelled coming down to get some satisfaction from you.
The sound of angry footsteps caught your attention, it was clearly that they belong to who you had been avoiding since yesterday, Melissa.
The wish was for the redhead to pass straight by without noticing your presence there. But instead, she approached and with a certain force grabbed you by the arm, taking you to one of the far corners of the building.
“Melissa! What the fuck?” you said.
“So while I was worried to death there in the staff room because you didn't talked to me since yesterday, you were here talking normally to that idiot!” the older woman's tone was altered, you could clearly hear the jealousy in her voice, “Had fun with your new best friend?”
“She’s not my best friend. We were just talking,” the nonsensical accusation makes you roll your eyes, letting out a mocking chuckle. “Melissa, stop acting like that!” you shout and she loses her temper even more.
“You suddenly act like a bitch and I’m the one to blame? What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/n?” she growls, fire in her green eyes.
“I dunno, a lot of things I suppose,” you retort coldly.
Melissa sighs when she realizes how tough she was. “Look, I don’t want to be an idiot. But please tell me what I did, so I can fix it.”
“We have nothing to fix between us, Schemmenti.”
“What? Are you really going to ignore it and pretend like none of this is happening?” The redhead asked in disbelief.
“Trust me. It’s better this way, for both of us,” you mumble, walking away from her, leaving an upset Melissa behind.
After the ‘argument’ on Tuesday, Melissa and you barely crossed paths at Abbott. And when you bumped into each other in the hallway, both grumbled and went back to your own ways.
The redhead and you were fighting the need to put the damned pride aside and throw yourselfs into each other's arms, and finally apologizing. But you were too stubborn for that and it was fucking complicated.
“This is stupid! Can you believe that Y/n started going to that coffee shop that's just a few blocks away from here just so she wouldn't have to face me at lunch? This whole thing is starting to irritate me.” Melissa tells to her best friend one morning.
“I understand that this situation is complicated, but don’t you think that both of you are exaggerating?” Barb asked carefully. Even she couldn't handle this situation anymore, it was disappointing to have to see you and Melissa acting like two children.
Ava who was listening to the conversation cautiously, decided to interrupt. “Schemmenti, haven’t you put the pieces together yet? Unbelievable.” She said as if it was something of small importance, making the redhead's eyebrows raise in confusion.
“Huh?”
“It’s so simple, I thought you already figured it all out,” the principal continues in a mysterious tone, making Melissa's head spin, “If it weren’t for this bullshit, you and Y/n would already be like two rabbits jumping on top of each other, if you know what I mean.”
The last comment makes Barb choke on her tea. “Ava, could you not be so specific about this? We’re in a school!” she scolds her.
“Whatever! It’s past time for her to know that Y/n likes her too. Even Janine and Gregory acted better than that!”
Everything around Melissa seemed to have gone silent. So was it true, the feelings were also reciprocal. A lot of questions surrounded her mind, why didn't you say anything? Why did you decide to pretend you weren't in love with her? Were you afraid of not being reciprocated?
“Why is she avoiding me then?” the redhead asks out loud, “that’s making me lose my mind. I just miss her.”
“Because of the t-shirt she lend ya. Mainly ‘cause of the last word printed on it.” That's all Ava says at that moment.
“A milf?” Melissa questions, still confused trying to think of putting the pieces together. “What does that mean? Is it something bad?”
“I was going to suggest you to google the meaning, but since you look like you're about to have a heart attack, I will tell ya,” she laughs and the redhead rolls her eyes, showing Ava her middle finger, “but don't be scared, it's a good thing, actually.”
“Alright..” the green-eyed woman whispers, still afraid of the answer, “so what does this whole milf thing means?”
“Mother I'd Like To Fuck. It also means that an older woman is super attractive.”
Melissa was left open-mouthed, her eyes blinking trying to process the explanation. So that was the damn meaning, well, she had to admit that was hot. “Wait... so Y/n..” she starts but there is a pause.
“Is in love with you and was scared when she saw ya wearing that t-shirt looking extremely hot, and preferred to stay away in case you found out what she felt.” Ava reveals it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, “What are you waiting for? Go find your girl, Schemmenti.”
Time passed slowly to Melissa's disgust and despair, making the poor woman sigh feeling defeated. As each second passed, she glanced quickly at the clock on her classroom wall, waiting for the afternoon to end.
After her students left, and the school day was finally over. She drove to your house — without caring about traffic regulations and rules — nothing else really mattered, she just needed to see you.
Sitting on the floor, while assembling a Lego set that simulated a beautiful bouquet of flowers — a gift you received from Janine and Gregory days ago, a lovely attempt by the couple to cheer you up — the sound of the doorbell ringing caught your attention. Making you stop your movements.
You furrowed your eyebrow in confusion, who could it be? Most of your friends were at different appointments at that time. So it certainly wasn't one of them.
“I'm almost coming! I just hope you’re not a stupid lunatic or some other ,” you grumbled, standing up as the sounds of the doorbell seemed more desperate with each passing second.
You opened the door and found Melissa standing there with her arms crossed, shivering slightly from the storm. “Hon, it’s so good to see you again.” She murmurs with a weak smile. Without caring if her voice sounds too desperate.
“Mel, what are you doing here? You might catch a damn cold like that.” You scolded her, pulling her into the house and locking the door again.
“I don’t care about that, I needed to see you. Actually we have to talk.” She responds taking off the black leather jacket that covered her body and hanging it where you kept your coats.
“We have to?” There is a little hesitation in the tone of your voice, all that courage and confidence have disappeared from your body. Insecurity taking over.
“Yeah, hon. We do.” She replied, noticing your nervousness, Melissa tries to comfort you, placing her hand on your shoulder and stroking it lovingly, showing that everything was fine. You smile for the first time in days in the presence of your beloved redhead.
She takes you to the small white sofa that was in the middle of the living room. “I know you were avoiding me because of that shirt. And I know you're in love with me.”
“What? Fuck, how did you figure all this out?” you whisper in panic, covering your face with your hands. Feeling vulnerable at the mercy of the red-haired figure sitting next to you.
A silence fell in the room, making you feel even more embarrassed.
“Ava told me those things earlier today. Hon, why didn't you tell me anything? That would have made everything so much easier.”
“What do you mean by making things easier? I don't understand.”
“I'm love with you too, idiot. I just didn't say before ‘cause I was insecure as fuck. But now, I know exactly what I want: you. No one else, just you.” She confessed with a smile on her face.
Automatically your body falls even more on the couch and you feel slightly dizzy. Closing your eyes slowly, trying to regain consciousness. “Sorry, I'm a bit nervous,” you respond. “It's too much to process. Jesus Christ.”
“Don’t be nervous, it’s me. Just me,” Melissa pulls you into her lap sighing as she smells your lavender scent again. “I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch the last few days. It was not necessary.”
“It was never your fault, I was the real bitch. You didn’t deserve to go through this just because of an irresponsible attitude of mine,” you say, resting your foreheads together.
“I think it's fair to say that we overreacted a bit,” the older woman smiles with her eyes closed. Feeling a slight courage run through her body, she asks you something. “Sweetheart?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?” Melissa asks biting her lip and slowly approaching, “I wanna do this since New Year's Eve.”
“Yes, please, Mel.” You beg wrapping your arms around her neck.
The moment her lips touched yours, it felt like you were in heaven. Melissa's lips were soft against yours. The kiss was calm and peaceful, both wanting to show all the love you felt for each other.
“You know, being considered a milf is an honor for me.” Melissa scoffs with a mischievous smile as you pull away from the kiss.
“Shut up.” You chuckle, cupping her cheeks.
“Make me,” the redhead teases, “please.”
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blainesebastian · 4 months
Text
something real
words: 13,045 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: SFW except for one explicit scene summary: i took inspo from a request about fake!dating for a wedding and from another film with a similar premise. what else do you do when your ex is getting married? hire a fake date notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating. tag list: @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan, @stylespresleyhearted,
“You’re losing it.”
A short laugh escapes your lips because god, maybe you are. This all started out easily enough—you needed a date for your ex’s wedding. Right, the fact that you were even invited kind of drives you crazy. It’s not like you didn’t have a good relationship with Todd, you did? But it also doesn’t change the fact how things ended—he ‘meant’ to break things off with you but started seeing someone at the same time. Claire. The girl he’s marrying. But you’re not about to go through life with grudges and anger when you can just let things go.
Which is why you’ve entertained this wedding invitation in the first place?
But to go alone? That’s a fate worse than death.
Which, ironically, is exactly what your friend, Jill, is telling you you’re going to be with this idea you’ve come up with.
“It’s all perfectly safe.” You mutter, sliding onto a bar stool and turning to look at her. You’re wearing a light blue dress, pair of booties, and jean jacket. Just casual enough but also hinting you’ve got a figure to show off if you really wanted to.
She scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they end up on 60 Minutes.”
You can’t help but smile, tugging the file out of your course before setting it on the bar top. “Do you want me to explain it again?”
Jill puts her hands on her hips—as if that will somehow make her comfortable with all of this, but she’s not protesting either. So you open up the file and—
“So my neighbor’s used this service before to go to her high school reunion, you know, so she didn’t end up there alone. She went onto their online platform, filled out a survey and bam, she was matched with someone to go.”
Jill narrows her eyes, “For twenty thousand dollars.”
“Well it’s not charity,” You throw back, “I’ve done the research, there’s a ton of reviews—all positive. It’s not like it’s about sex or anything, it’s just…companionship for one event.”
Jill looks at the file, crinkling her nose, “There’s so many other ways you could have done this—Rick, the guy in 6B? He’s always thought you were cute.”
You laugh a little, “If I go out with Rick, there is a good chance I’ll end up missing some limbs—dude is creepy, Jill.”
Her friend rolls her eyes but it’s fond, opening up the file and pointing to a blank spot where this guy’s photo should be, “Okay, but you don’t even get to know what he looks like?”
“I think it was my Wi-Fi,” You state honestly, “Some of the images weren’t loading. But that’s why you’re here,” You grin, “Safety measures. So—” You gently push on one of her hips, “Go find a table, order a drink while I wait for Austin.”
“That’s the gigolo’s name?”
“Wedding date,” You correct, shooing her away until she heads to a table.
Taking a breath, you look at the reflective surface of the bar mirror in front of you, mentally praying that this somehow not a huge mistake and order a drink.
--
Chewing on the drunken cherry in your Manhattan, you glance down the bar as you see someone handsome talking to a small group of women. You wonder if that’s Austin, looking for you—he’s about ten minutes late. Your stomach clenches anxiously, knowing that maybe Jill was right and this is utterly ridiculous. But…you got invited to the wedding late (either it was a last-minute thought or it got lost in the mail) but there was no way you could organically find someone to ask.
Sure, you could have brought Jill or some other friend but…deep down? You know this is about making Todd feel utterly stupid for cheating on you, for leaving you for someone else. You don’t want him back, of course, but that feeling of satisfaction? That look on his face when he sees you with someone else? You want it.
You can’t not go and you can’t find someone random in your life already to go with…so when your neighbor mentioned this quick fix? How could you not look into it? You’ve got a ton of money saved from over the years, not to mention a small investment your grandfather put in your name. What’s the harm in looking into this, right?
“Y/N?”
Turning on the bar stool, you nearly swallow your own tongue as you’re met face to face with who you assume is Austin. And joke’s on you because he’s ten times more beautiful than the other guy at the bar you saw talking to those women. He’s tall, lean, in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket. Easily handsome, like…James Dean or Elvis Presley. Doesn’t have to try very hard.
And suddenly something hysterical crawls up your throat as he takes a seat next to you, introduces himself as Austin, and apologizes for being late because of traffic because—
“I’m sorry—” You interrupt, shaking your head, “This uh, this isn’t going to work.”
His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his mouth opening and closing, “Excuse me?”
“You’re,” You laugh lightly, cheeks heating up. There’s this sickly sensation gripping your stomach, telling you to run, “No one is going to believe that we’re dating.”
And maybe that’s something oddly pathetic you shouldn’t have uttered outloud because what’s even worse, Austin seems to grip what you’re saying and his features soften. You do not want pity or sympathy, you’re just…stating a fact.
Austin takes in a soft breath and looks towards the bartender, ordering himself a beer, confusing you a little because you expected him to just…take off. There’s no money involved at this point, it’s a clean break. This meeting is just to discuss details.
“I think you’re underestimating yourself,” He states gently, eyes sweeping over your form. And god, he’s good, isn’t he? You suppose this is his job, making women feel good. Confident. Even though it’s all a lie.
Letting out a breath as his drink is set down on the bar, you figure there’s no harm in…talking with him, right? He came all this way; you can at least wait until he finishes his beer to turn him down. You’ll just go to this damn wedding alone—it’s really not that big of a deal, right?
Austin takes off his leather jacket, hanging it up on a hook underneath the bar and he smells amazing—some sort of cologne that’s fresh and almost citrusy. You run a hand through your hair and order another Manhattan.
“So your request said a wedding?”
“My ex,” You clarify, “And I don’t want him back, or anything, I just want him to feel like an idiot.”
Austin smiles a little, humming— “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. I’m assumin’ he already is one.”
A small laugh stutters forward in your chest because yes, he is. Your shoulders start to relax just a little because maybe Austin gets it. By not going or going alone you…you don’t want Todd to think that he’s somehow gotten one over you, that you’re lonely or broken ever since you’ve separated.
“Have you…done weddings before?”
He shifts a little on the barstool so that he’s facing you a little easier, “I’ve done weddings the most,” He admits, “Two high school reunions, one funeral.”
You raise your eyebrows, setting your drink down on the bar. “A funeral?”
Austin shrugs lightly, “Some women just want a hand to hold on their hardest day, a shoulder to cry on. Someone to talk to.” He licks his lips, taking a sip of his beer, “I’m not one to judge.”
You straighten your shoulders and…you suppose you’re really not in a position to do that either, given you’re here to hire Austin so you feel less alone and pathetic at a wedding. You take a long look at him for a moment, —curious. He doesn’t want to be doing anything else?
“Can I ask—why are you doing this?” Your fingers trace shapes into the condensation on your glass. “This whole fake-date program?”
Austin clears his throat, “You can ask me whatever you want,” He starts and that within itself seems like a dangerous proposition. “I work at this café near here but uh, it doesn’t exactly bring a lot of money in. I want to be an actor, like…a serious one, the money I get from these dates I’m savin’ up to go to L.A.”
And he essentially gets to pretend to be someone he’s not. Like an endless list of auditions.
There are other things you want to ask, other questions stuck in your throat about doing weddings. Why weddings? The whole concept seems like a bad idea—a high school reunion, a holiday party, even a funeral makes more sense, doesn’t it?
Those aren’t emotionally connected events, there’s no…opportunities to fall into something deeper than what the contract of attachment allows. But weddings? It’s about love and finding your person and…going to one with someone else feels like such a slippery slope.
Or maybe it doesn’t because Austin is a professional.
“So if I…if we do this, what does it entail, exactly?” You take another sip of your drink, as if you need the liquid courage for his response.
A small smile graces his handsome face again, “Don’t overthink it. It’s whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with.”
You feel like there’s this heat uncoiling in your belly even though he’s not suggesting anything. Somehow, it’s in the ocean blue of his eyes—a depth there. You clear your throat, “You mean uh—if I require a dance partner? Because I love to dance at weddings…usually badly.”
Austin laughs warmly but shakes his head. “I meant if I was goin’ as your date or a boyfriend.”
And oh, of course, you hadn’t even thought about it but of course Austin would want a more specific role to sink his teeth into and your mind spins about what you want to do. It’s just one night, one silly wedding, there’s no long con here. It’s not like Todd will even care who you show up with, right? You’re the one who wants to feel less lonely—
And yet—
“You can think about it, if you need to—”
“Boyfriend.” You say, cutting him off. Heat returns to your cheeks…mise well go big or go home, right? If you’re going to do this? This has got to be a bad idea, right?
“Okay,” Austin smiles, “Good.”
So it’s settled that he’ll meet you at your place beforehand, you’ll iron out details of your relationship in case anyone asks and then you’ll go to the wedding together.
Austin stands and he tosses some cash on the bar counter (enough to cover your drink as well) and he hovers for a moment, tugging on his leather jacket. “My number’s in the file, in case you need it.”
Then there’s a moment where Austin watches you, fixing the lapels of his jacket. His one hand then rests on the bar, taking a step closer to you, and the way that you’re seated, your legs open just slightly to accommodate his body in your space.
“Don’t hit me, alright?” He smiles a little, leaning down, and honestly you’re the one that feels like you’re getting sucker punched in the stomach. Air right out of your lungs. “It was nice meeting you.”
You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry as your eyes flutter to his lips, “Yeah, you too.”
There’s more than enough time for you to pull away, but you don’t, so he kisses you.
It’s nothing obscene, but slow and gentle. Warm. Just enough to make your heart pound against your ribcage, electricity singing in your veins. You suppose it’s something you should get used to if Austin is going to pass as your boyfriend.
You raise your eyebrows a little as he pulls away, hot under the collar of your jean jacket.
“Figure we’d just get that out of the way so you could concentrate.” He teases and god, your mind is spinning. You kinda hate that he’s made you feel like this so easily, like somehow it’s second nature.
“What, that doesn’t cost extra?” You manage to throw out there, finding your voice.
Austin grins, another soft laugh rumbling in his chest. “I’ll see you soon.”
You let out a slow breath, running a hand over your hair as you watch him walk out of the bar before downing the rest of your drink.
“So that’s your date, huh?” Jill asks as she comes up behind you—honestly her voice kinda sounds like cotton in your ears. “Todd is gonna swallow his own tongue.”
And you can’t help but grin.
You meet one more time before the wedding, just…something to solidify that you do, in fact, know what you’re doing. But also to get a bit more comfortable around Austin and the fact that he’s going to be your boyfriend. You let out a slow breath, aggravated by how crazy that sounds. Maybe Jill’s right, maybe this is a bad idea (despite how handsome and charming Austin is).
He’s picked you up to go somewhere but won’t tell you where. And when the engine turns off, you undo your seatbelt and look out the windshield, “A custard house?”
“Was hopin’ you could go for somethin’ sweet,” Austin smiles a little, “They make these waffle custard sandwiches that’ll change your life.”
You hum lightly and start to get out of the car, a little confused because…well, you’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. “We’re here for ice cream sandwiches?”
Austin scrunches his nose in mock offense at her flippant description, “No, we’re here for waffle custard. You need to work on listenin’, come on.” He gets out of the car too and locks the doors.
You know you’re about to paying Austin a decent amount of money to be your stand-in date, your fake boyfriend, dragging him to this wedding for god knows what reasons make sense in your head but…you suppose you didn’t count on him being like this. A tiny bit thoughtful, sweet, funny even.
Or maybe he’s already a decent actor.
You follow him to the counter, your eyes trailing over at least thirty different custard flavors—not only that, but there’s twice as many toppings. How are you supposed to choose?
“You know what you want already?” You ask as Austin rolls up the sleeves of his jean jacket a little.
“I always know what I want.” He leans on the counter, turning towards the woman at the register to order French vanilla—but stops when you make a noise. He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Somethin’ you wanna share?”
You purse your lips and rocks back onto your heels, shaking your head, “No I just…vanilla, really? You don’t seem like the type.” She teases.
Austin smirks, straightening his back. “Oh, huh.” He motions to the large display menu. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby. What should I order?”
You let the pet name slide (and it does, like heated molasses right down in your veins), which is probably a dangerous slippery slope, but you’re too busy trying to take in a custard selection at the moment to care. You chew on your lower lip, slipping through the flavors written in chalk on the board and decides to go with your favorite pairing—
“He’ll have chocolate and strawberry custard in that waffle sandwich thing with…” You hum, “Caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles.” You smile, clearly happy with your selection before ordering the same for yourself…except you also get chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
Because why the hell not?
“You’re gonna have that all over you before the night is over.” Austin motions to the dripping mess in your hands, carefully shelled between fresh waffles wrapped up in foil.
You slide yourself onto the hood of Austin’s car, almost sliding back down but managing to lean against the windshield before losing your custard sandwich.
“Challenge accepted.”
Austin smiles a little, sitting down next to you, looking far too handsome sprawled out on his car.
You realize that everything between you both is so dangerous, wrapped in gentle dynamite, the softest breath or touch capable of explosion. But it’s also tantalizing in a way that excites you—Austin is different, gentle but rough with the walls he keeps up.
Everything about this is a lie –circles in your head, over and over, trying to remind you not to take anything too seriously. And yet? You bury it deep with a bite of your custard sandwich. You moan softly and lick chocolate off your lips because Jesus, this is incredible.
Austin smirks, licking custard between the waffle before he takes a bite of his own. “Told you it was worth the stop.”
“I’m not going to admit you somehow know all just because you have decent taste in custard.” You smile and takes another bite of your waffle sandwich, leaning back to watch cars drive by.
“Give it time.” Austin glances over and you can feel his gaze, always like a magnet tracing the curves of your body. You want to tell him that you enjoy when he looks at you like that, to be felt and seen all at the same time, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
You wonder if he looks at every woman who’s ever paid him like that.
You’re not sure you want to know.
You turn and meet his gaze, holding it for a moment before a small smile graces your lips. “Do you really work at a café?”
He nods, leaning further up against the windshield. “It’s called Mug Half Full; been there about three years.” He licks his lips, pulling a napkin from his pants pocket and wiping his chin where he feels caramel sticking. “What do you do? You didn’t mention it in your email.”
You swallow down a bought of self-loathing at the question and decide to take another bite of your sandwich; sweet hiding sour. “I uh, I’m kinda in-between jobs at the moment.” You know Austin has to be able to see through that terrible excuse of an answer. “I’m currently getting an online degree in education.”
Austin finishes his custard waffle, which is admirable because yours is two seconds away from becoming soup in your hands. You lick at the sides as he crumples up a napkin and puts his trash in a can nearby so it’s not in either of your way.
“What do you want to do?”
The question shouldn’t offend you as much as it does, the want and need to defend yourself raising your hackles a bit. You bite down on reacting too sorely; he’s just asking a question—and you realize you haven’t given him a reason not to ask something like that. Your bland response is what prompts the statement.
You suppose you’re just…too used to people asking that, especially since society makes you feel like you somehow got a late start in figuring things out. In reality, it’s never too early or too late to be whoever you want. You’re just…getting to that.
You clear your throat, setting your custard sandwich down on your lap a moment, the foil protecting your clothes. “I have no idea,” You admit with a soft laugh, “My relationship with my ex kinda took all my energy—supporting whatever he needed, you know? Now I’m just starting to figure myself out.” And you’re proud of that progress, even though it feels like pushing a boulder up a hill sometimes. “I might teach maybe, one day.”
He holds your gaze for a moment, slight amusement dancing in the corners of his eyes. He smiles gently, looking down at your hands before he picks up your sandwich and licks whipped cream off the corner. Ridiculously obscene and unnecessary but you let him do it anyways.
You have apparently become accustomed to sharing things—you’ve noticed that he continues the ruse of soft touches and intimate gestures when no one’s watching. You think it’s to help solidify the fact that you’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be into one another. Which isn’t very hard when he does things like that with his tongue.
Austin tosses your trash like he did with his own before turning to look at you, handing you a napkin to wipe your hands off. “I could tell you wanted more. And you know, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”
Then why does it feel so guilty for you to admit— “Sometimes it feels selfish, to want things for myself.” You swallow, letting it sink into the air. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even your best friend or your parents.
“Sounds like someone really selfish made you feel that way.” He says gently and it’s like…wool has been taken off your eyes. Something you maybe knew but needed to hear.
It’s not what you expect him to say, not in the slightest, but it warms you from the inside out either way. You nod because yes, you’ve never thought about it like that but yes, that’s it exactly. Realizing that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do—knowing yourself and that you deserve to want, that it’s normal, even.
Austin hums softly, moving to slip off the car. You swing your legs around and when he offers you his hand, you take it to slide off as well.
How easy it would be to lean up and kiss him, how he’d probably taste like hints of chocolate and strawberry. You wait for him to let you go, for his hand to stop holding yours. But he doesn’t.
You lick your own lips, your eyes looking to his lower one, how it pouts out gently when he looks at you—and you decide to stop waiting for things you want. If you’re going to pay for his company, you might as well enjoy it.
You press your lips into his own, capturing something sweet, lips moving together like you both were always made to kiss. Austin’s one hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing your hair back around your ear before eventually pulling back. You’re breathing a little shakily, your noses brushing, Austin taking his time to trace your cheekbone with his lips before he opens up the car door for you.
“You’re not charging me extra for the gentleman treatment, are you?” Or for the kisses I keep stealing?
Austin smiles, a soft laugh leaving his throat as he waits for you to put your seatbelt on. “Not yet.” And closes the door with a wink.
--
You think about canceling six times between when you wake up on the day of the wedding to the moment you slide your dress over your head. You’ve told yourself that this was and continues to be a terrible idea and if you hadn’t paid him half up front through a cash app, you’d have the nerve to tell him never mind. Kisses and all, you really feel like you’re starting to lose your damn mind.
Though you know even if you told Austin to forget the whole thing, you still have to go to this wedding. (You could probably skip it no big deal, but the last thing you want is Todd to assume you’re bothered either). Canceling now would definitely mean going alone and you can’t stomach it, not when you feel like all of your insides are already in knots.
You smooth your hands down the front of your dress as you hear the doorbell, taking the steps downstairs carefully in your gold heels. You’ve settled for a navy-blue number that shows just enough cleavage and is ruffled at your middle, hugging curves and kissing your skin beautifully. You feel confident and comfortable, which is important for a long night.
You sigh, glancing at your front door for a moment before turning the knob and opening up to see Austin. He’s standing in a suit, beautifully polished, hair perfectly coifed on his head. A navy button-down underneath a gray suit jacket, tie to match with a red spidery design that reminds you of tree branches in the winter.
A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows because, “Why are you shakin’ your head?” He asks as he steps over the threshold and you close the door.
“I just naturally assumed you were going to show up in black. Black in your profile picture that finally loaded, black at the bar… I thought that was the only shade you owned.”
He runs a hand lightly over his chest. “Grays in the same shade family.” He’s joking but you’re not laughing and finally he just throws his hands up a little, “What’s the big deal?”
“Because we match.”
Austin looks down at himself and pauses, doesn’t get it, gives you a look that makes you feel a little crazy. “That a bad thing?”
“It’s—” No, it’s not exactly a terrible idea but it somehow digs under your skin because you want today to be perfect and Austin is supposed to be your boyfriend and you can’t be that couple that goes all matchy-matchy to events, right?
What are the odds that he shows up in something that is the exact same color as your damn dress?
“It’s too perfect, it’s not believable.” You say and he raises his eyebrows because that does not make one lick of sense. He takes a step towards you and you mirror one back, shaking your head.
Austin lets out a slow breath because you’re nitpicking and it annoys him, a flare of impatience decorating his handsome face. “Well I don’t exactly got another suit in my back pocket and we’re already late.”
You narrows your eyes, “Just…follow me. I’ll change.”
You’re up the stairs and in your bedroom before you realize what you’ve said, Austin slipping in behind you and looking around the room, drinking you in with permission you’ve accidently given him. You turn suddenly and slip off your heels, pressing one hand to his chest to stop him.
“Don’t move.”
He smiles a little and nods his head, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watches you slide into your walk-in closet to change. You sigh softly and run a hand over your forehead before you take a moment to unzip your dress and glance at your options.
“A lot of beige.”
You roll your eyes and pull out a black dress, quickly pulling it on and kicking your navy blue one to the side before stepping out of your closet. You don’t bother to zip it up until you make sure it’s the right one.
Austin has dutifully not moved from the spot on the carpet where you’ve left him and he scrunches his nose at your dress, “You goin’ to a wake?”
“What’s wrong with beige?” You glance around your bedroom; at the little accents you’ve added that have color to them. Some shades of coffee colored brown and touches of teal here and there. It’s minimalist but tasteful.
“It’s just not what I pictured.”
“You pictured my bedroom?” You ask, but the corners of your mouth pull slightly as you put your hands on your hips.
Austin tilts his head at you, eyes traveling over your body in an unashamed way. “Maybe.” He pauses for a moment to let that sink into your pores. “You don’t seem like a beige. Also, no to that dress. I can maybe get you not wantin’ to match completely but that doesn’t line up with what I got on at all.”
You nod and turn to go back into your closet, pulling the dress off and standing far too long in your underwear trying to decide on a color range. You could go gold…but that feels too flashy, gray is out of the question and so is another navy dress so…
You finger red fabric for a moment that matches the scarlet on Austin’s tie and pull it off the hanger.
“I’m not actually that fond of beige,” You admit over your shoulder as you pull the dress up—it’s a fit and flare that kind of reminds you of the sixties. Something that hugs your waist with a high-neck tanked top and flares out like a wide flame at the bottom. It hits just below your knees and your gold heels will still go nicely with it.
“But the house kinda came this way and…I never took the time to fix it.” You walk out of the closet, pulling your hair free from underneath. “Todd didn’t like bold colors anyways.”
Austin’s eyes descend on you like a cold rush of water, a wave crashing down onto your shores. He stares for what feels like a long time, his hands coming out of his pockets like he wants to touch but can’t—too far away. You smile softly as his gaze sticks, he’s captivated by the dress, and you notice he has to shake his head as you approach to be able to speak to you.
“So I’m guessin’ he’s not gonna like this.” He reaches to touch your waist, fingers pressing warmly into the fabric.
You chew on the inside of your cheek a moment, looking up at him. “Do you like it?”
He smirks gently, pulling on your elbow to turn you around. He doesn’t reply but you feel suddenly naked under his gaze as your bare back is exposed to him. He takes his time finding the zipper and slowly draws it up into place, fixing the little hook at the top. His hands rest against your shoulders and guide down, squeezing your arms before letting you go.
“Get your shoes. We’re already late.”
You let out a long sigh that somehow turns into a pout, making him smile, “We could stay here, you could give more wisecracks about my bedroom decorum.”
Austin smirks and grabs your purse from where it’s seated on the bed as you slip your heels back on. “As amazing as that sounds, that’s not what you’re payin’ me for.”
And the words sound sour, swallowing them down, nodding your head as you leave the bedroom with him.
--
The wedding itself isn’t actually terrible—it’s beautiful in a way that would make any woman envious. Lots of flowers and gold designs and as you watch the entire ceremony take place, you have moments where you wonder why you’re here. Was it really that important for you to show up? And not only that, but pay a date to be here? You keep going back and forth, like a serious game of tug-of-war.
Why did it matter if you showed up alone? Or with Jill?
Austin helps you with your coat, his hand on your lower back as you walk out of the church and towards the reception hall which is being held in this beautiful botanical garden that has rooms you can rent for things like this.
People begin to pile into the building, pausing at the coat check before heading into the reception all, and it’s right there that you suddenly feel like bolting. Truth is? Todd was your boyfriend for years before your breakup (a breakup that might have never happened if you hadn’t realized he was cheating, because clearly he hadn’t taken the initiative until it was too late). And it’s probably so stupid that you remained friends with him, that you were invited to this wedding, that you for some reason care about what he thinks—even now.
But you do.
You should have just moved on and thrown the wedding invitation in the trash but…feelings don’t always come in black and white. You constantly live in a shade of gray.
And you’re worried someone is going to see right through you tonight.
Austin squeezes your hand, getting your attention as you remain grounded by the coat check. He’s patient, waiting until your gaze meets his own. “You’re shakin’.” His other hand covers the one he’s already holding.
You nod your head and offer a smile you don’t feel. “I thought this would be easy. Having you here as a distraction, smiling at all the right times and drinking too much wine in a nice dress,” You shrug your one shoulder, “It doesn’t change how I feel.”
Despite the small amount of privacy the coat check wall provides, you can feel eyes on you two from different parts of the room; people slipping past to get a glass of champagne from the cash bar, fluttering in-between hors d'oeuvres tables and congratulating the couple. Guests who know who you are, who are whispering about you. You can hear Todd a few feet away; big laughs and too loud discussions that tell you he’s a little drunk but genuinely happy.
Or maybe this is all in your head.
“Look, I think you were gonna feel this way no matter if you came alone or with someone.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But you can still do all the other things you mentioned,” Austin leans in, brushes his lips over your cheekbone as he talks, “Drink too much wine in a beautiful dress and smilin’ definitely doesn’t hurt.”  
He pulls back and you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him again. To feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, back outside, to his car, away from this place where you feel like you have to be someone you’re not.
Austin grasps your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, waiting until your eyes meets his own again. He leans forward to brush your lips together, gently, more to distract you than anything else because it’s not a kiss.
“Women hire me because they want to feel wanted and if that’s what you need to hear, then fine, I do want you, Y/N.” You let out a breath that sounds too shaky for your own good, your knees slightly buckling. All the other gazes you once felt on you fade away, until it’s only you and Austin in an empty botanical garden.
“But hearin’ that doesn’t matter until you want things for yourself. You want someone to believe in you? You want to feel confident? Wanted?” His hand falls to your waist, “Good enough?”
You swallow thickly, his words reaching something that’s still raw inside of you, that still hurts to think about. You want to pull away, nearly do, but instead surrender to his weight against you. It’s not his fault that he does a better job of reading you than you do looking in a mirror.
“Then it has to come from you first.”
You shake your head as he pulls away, his hand very simply returning to yours as you both move towards the cash bar. “I know you think you know me from a few meetings and a detailed email request. But you don’t.” Your words at least sound stronger than you feel.
Austin looks at you over his shoulder and smiles but says nothing in return.
--
Maybe the problem is, he does know you, even from the simplest interactions. Maybe you’re just not used to being seen. Todd never saw you, even when you gave him so many chances to try. You suppose at that point you need to want to try.
You’re seated at a table that has mostly co-workers and friends and you attempt not to cringe when someone asks you how you know the bride and groom. Austin swoops in and responds that they’re friends, his arm stretched out over the back of your chair. You’re grateful because the words we dated are sitting in your throat like a lump, difficult to swallow over.
The night spins forward, you’re able to avoid the bride and groom for the duration of it, just enjoying food and a little bit too much wine and hanging out with Austin. There are long conversations where you get to know one another, fill one another in about things that are real, beyond the layers of this fake-date situation.
It’s nice, seeing him in that light, getting to know him as if you’d bumped into him at a bar and enjoyed his company.
You almost wish that was the case, instead.
His arm squeezes around your waist as you both dance on the dance floor, his jacket on the back of his chair, dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’re definitely a little tipsy, the room is rose-colored, but all in all? It feels like a crisis has been avoided, you’re actually having a good time.
“Can I get you another glass of wine?” Austin asks, brushing his lips over your forehead, “Maybe some cookies from the dessert table?”
You grin, “You know me so well.” And it’s not a line, somehow, you’ve been craving cookies for the past half hour.
Austin smiles, nods, squeezes your waist and leaves you to do just that. You somehow ache with missing the heat of his body once he’s gone—and that’s how you know you’re slightly in over your head. You have to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—the way Austin talks to you or looks at you, the way his hands travel over your body, the slight brush of his lips against your own.
It's all a lie.
A lie that you paid for.
Running a hand over your forehead, you turn and nearly bump into someone, blinking as you look up and—
“Todd.”
Your ex smiles, “Hey—I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you would.”
Neither was I, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Chewing on your lower lip, you’re struck with being unsure of what to say, scanning the crowd for Austin before clearing your throat, “Uhm, everything has been beautiful.”
Todd smiles, nodding, taking a look around for his bride. “Thank you. Are you uh, here with Jill?”
You open and close your mouth like a goldfish until you feel that familiar arm slide around you. “No this is Austin,” You take the glass of wine and have a hearty sip and it instantly makes your head spin.
Todd clears his throat and even though he’s smiling, it’s clear he’s giving Austin a once-over. He did not expect you to be here with someone. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend that wasn’t Jill.” He kinda laughs, like maybe it’s a joke that you don’t have many other close friends other than her.
But Austin is quick to smile, “Actually, I’m her boyfriend.”
And there it is, the look on Todd’s face that you were after this whole time. It’s quick, gone almost as soon as it appears, but lingers in his eyes. Regret, maybe even jealousy. Even though his wife appears by his side and introductions are exchanged.
Luckily the conversation doesn’t last very long, the bride and groom are swept towards other people, more dancing. Which is good because you’re pretty sure you noticed that the bride couldn’t keep her eyes off of Austin.
What a couple her and Todd make.
Downing the rest of the wine, you set it on the table, letting out a slow breath. Austin keeps his hands firm on your hips and you can’t quite meet his eyes. You’re not quite sure how…this wasn’t what you expected, nor wanted.
Just feels like a big mistake.
“Wanna get out of here?” He asks quietly, seeming to read your mind.
You nod and he keeps his arm around you until you make it outside and reach his car.
--
That last glass of wine did you zero favors and by the time you make it to your front door, you’re dropping your keys instead of sliding them into the lock. Austin smiles a little, picking them up and unlocking everything, pushing the door open. You’ve got a firm hand on his shirt because you’re swaying slightly, almost a little afraid of what might happen if you let go.
What if all of this is one weird dream?
“Where are we going?” You ask as he comes inside, closing the door behind him.
“Water n’bed.” Austin replies as he guides you into the living room.
You scrunch your nose and look to the ceiling, definitely knocking yourself off balance as the room spins. Austin lets out a short grunt as he catches you, steadying you against his chest.
“In that order? That’s so boring.”
He chuckles slightly, guiding you both until he has you in front of the couch, encouraging you to sit. “You got somethin’ else you’d rather do?”
You can’t help but grin at the question, poking at his chest. “I think you know what I’d rather like to do.” It’s like hot lava pouring from your lips, you can’t seem to stop it even though you know you’ll have burns later.
Austin hums under his breath but doesn’t respond, concentrates instead on keeping you on the couch once you’re seated.
“Stay there,” He says when you try to get up, holding onto your shoulders and pressing you gently down. “You good or you gonna slip off?” There’s an amused smile pulling handsomely at his lips as he tilts his head down to look at you, slipping his thumb and forefinger along your chin.
“Good, I’m so good.” You nod, determined to give him responses that make sense. You just wish the room would stop spinning.
Only when he feels like you mean it does he pull away from you. You closes your eyes as your fingers grip the cushion, trying to hold yourself in place. None of this really helps and instead you just end up feeling nauseas, forcing your eyes to open so you can see Austin.
He’s taken his jacket off, tie gone and shirt unbuttoned a bit, and seeing his chest and forearms makes heat unwantedly pool between your legs and you lick your lips, trying to focus on what he has in his hands.
“He…he honestly didn’t think I’d be there with anyone.”
A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows and he pauses, “What?”
You swallow, not sure if your trail of thought makes sense. “Todd. Jerk.” You give as an explanation.
Something passes over Austin’s face but it’s gone as soon as it appears and he crouches in front of you, his one hand slipping over your knee a moment, “Do you actually care what he thinks?”
You hold his gaze for a long moment before shaking your head. He hums softly, squeezing, his thumb between your thighs and it’s really too distracting.
“Then fuck him; neither of those two seemed like they should be giving relationship advice.”
You giggle something ridiculous and cover your face with your hand a moment, glad you were able to make sense of all that even though you probably didn’t need to bring it up.
“You got anythin’ like a long t-shirt?” He changes the subject as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get pants on you.”
You huff out a sound and rub a hand over your face, most likely smearing makeup in the worst way. “That’s alright, I like bein’ pantless.” You reach over and is happy you don’t tumble, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder to get his attention. “Upstairs, first drawer on the right.”
He’s back and forth quickly; makes you wonder how long you’ve actually been sitting there.
Him undressing you is a blur; you note that he does his best to dip his gaze when he can to give you a little privacy. Just enough that you can figure out that your head doesn’t go into one of the arm holes and assists when you starts whining that you can’t get it right. You throw your wedding dress aside and kicks off your heels, letting out a soft huff when Austin disappears into the kitchen.
He comes back with a warm washcloth that smells like lilac soap and he waits until your gaze focuses on him before he asks whether you can do this yourself.
You nod a little absently, taking the washcloth from him and wiping your makeup off before handing it back to him. You pull as many bobbypins as you can find from your hair and toss them onto the coffee table, pulling your strands back up into a bun before collapsing face first into the couch.
You barely feel the couch dip as you smush your face into a pillow, blankets being draped over your shoulders.
--
When you wake up, you don’t automatically remember where you are.
You lift your head and groan softly, pinching your eyes with your thumb and forefinger trying to get the pounding to stop. There’s a soft blue light casting shadows on the walls of the living room and oh, that’s right, you’re home. Austin brought you home last night.
You swallow and nearly sit up too fast, leaning up on your elbows because oh, oh fuck, now you remember. A wave of nausea crashes down on you for moving and you flutter your eyes closed briefly and hope that helps. When you feels confident enough to fix your gaze on something other than the inside of your eyelids, you turn to look at Austin who’s sitting up in one of the lounge chairs nearby against a few pillows, watching TV.
He didn’t leave. He stayed with you the entire night.
The sound from the TV isn’t loud enough to be heard but you can tell he does this often, eyes on the screen, just absorbing the images that flicker to life. His head dips to look over at you when you move; he looks tired. You really hope he didn’t sit up to just…keep an eye on you, making sure you slept alright.
You clear your throat, the sound scratchy and dry regardless of your trying, “Am I dead?”
Austin smirks a little and stands to come and sit by your legs, handing you a glass of water that’s on the coffee table. “Here. You passed out before I could get you to drink any.”
You sigh softly and close your eyes, moving to sit up further and is glad to see the room isn’t spinning anymore. “Lovely.” You drink deeply after a few tentative sips to make sure you can keep it down.
“You stayed.”
“I did.” Austin’s quiet for a few moments, playing with the corners of one of the blankets. Clearly he’s not going to elaborate. “You got a headache?”
You hum an affirmative response but it’s nothing water and Advil can’t cure. You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes again for a few moments to avoid the blue light spilling into the room from the TV. You give yourself some time to sip your water before you open them again, setting the glass down on the table. There’s cookies there too, from last night. Austin kept them.
You sense embarrassment licking at your nerve endings, feeling a little ridiculous for your behavior. You should really know better than to let yourself go like that, especially since it doesn’t take too many glasses of wine in a row for it to happen.
“Sober?” He asks and there’s a tilt to his voice that you don’t like, far too amused.
You groan and turn your head to look at him, trying to muster up a glare that doesn’t stick. “Unfortunately.” You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to not even think about what you might look like.
You’re just glad you didn’t vomit.
A deep breath settles in and out of your lungs before you turn your head to look at Austin, the light of the TV casting beautiful shadows on his face. Your eyes skitter over the scruff beginning on his jawline and your fingers itch to follow. You clear your throat, getting his attention, and he turns his head to look at you.
“I’m sorry for getting plastered.” You smile a little because he does; that same amusement back on his face, though it doesn’t bother you this time around. “I’m shocked that you do weddings.”
You allow yourself to laugh a little, shaking your head like it’ll somehow clear the fuzzy memories of him bringing you back to your home, tripping over yourself. You regret the way you’ve carried yourself, but a tiny part of you is glad you decided to let yourself go, to enjoy the open bar and let your emotions run a little rampant for once.
You’re so used to keeping everything inside, to holding it all in. For once you didn’t.
Austin’s chewing on words he’s not saying, you can see the hesitance in his expression, wanting to say something but unsure if he should. You wait, don’t press, and eventually,
“Admittedly, I haven’t done a wedding in a while.” He shakes his head, “Because they tend to be messy in a way that I never expect.”
You wince, rubbing the back of your neck because…clearly you hadn’t planned on making a fool out of yourself but Austin quickly continues to explain,
“I don’t mean you.” He turns a bit to lean against the couch, his shoulder pressed along the cushions. Austin licks his lips, his eyes tracing your jawline and lips, slipping down your neck and collarbone enough to make you shiver.
“In your request, you said somethin’ like, ‘I don’t want my ex  to feel like he’s taken something from me. Something that’s mine and will always be mine’.”
You search his eyes for a moment and when his finally meet yours, something warm and aching starts in your chest, blooming outward like a flower only meant to grow at night. You swallow thickly, “You remember that?” Because you kinda…bared you soul in that request for a date service. You hadn’t meant to come across so desperate but…you were also just being honest.
“I have a very good memory,” He attempts to wave this off, and you want to tell him not to—that what he’s saying matters. Austin’s seeing you, over walls you didn’t realize you had up after all this time.
“You said kind of implied that you wanted Todd to regret cheating on you, but I think you really meant that you wanted him to see that he didn’t break you.” He licks his lips and trails his pinky finger along your jawline as he curls loose hair behind your ear. “I’ve met a lot of women in similar situations, and not all of them have handled it like you.”
A laugh slips out of your throat, something you can’t stop. You’re trying to break the tension gathering in the room, something heavy and thick like warm cotton settling over both of you. Handled it? You haven’t exactly done that well, have you? If last night is any indication.
“What, they didn’t hire a male escort and get piss drunk?”
He smiles gently, shaking his head. “They let their exes break them because they couldn’t figure out who they were without them.”
The warmth in your chest threatens to burst and you wish for a moment that you could see yourself the way Austin does, so clearly, like everything is laid out before him, all he has to do is read.
“But not you.” It barely leaves his mouth before you close the distance between them.
The heat erupts in a single kiss, both of Austin’s hands tangling themselves in your hair, pulling it loose from your haphazard bun. He kisses you like you’ve always wanted to be kissed, even though you hadn’t realized it was something that was missing until now.
He inches you forward, forcing you to move until you’re straddling his waist, blankets getting caught and tangled in-between. Anything that’s been building up suddenly releases into you both, like a wave crashing, heated breaths against skin and not being able to get close enough. Austin tugs off your long t-shirt and a shiver travels down your skin as you reach up and automatically unclasp your bra.
You sit there for a moment, almost in the wake of realizing what you’ve done, and you watch Austin’s gaze. His eyes drink you in, hands still on your waist, trailing up your sides, thumb slipping underneath one of your breasts to press against your ribcage. The touch is intimate enough to cause something sharp in your throat, thick swallowing for it to disappear. You lean forward, presses your foreheads together and you kiss again.
You’re fumbling to get blankets down, to move everything out of your way and Austin flips your positions, easing you down onto your back along the cushions. He rifles for something in his suit jacket that’s nearby while you slip your hips up to slide your underwear down and off and away. He’s got too many layers on and you itch to immediately remove his shirt when he’s overtop of you again.
Toned skin greets you and you can’t help but touch, sink your fingers in, drag your nails. The noises that leave Austin’s throat are enough to single handedly build the heat beginning in your lower belly, something you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing. He moves only long enough to take his pants off, tossing them to the side, and he holds your gaze—
He waits.
You swallow and know this is such a bad idea, that nothing good can come from this. But wasn’t it Austin who urged you to figure out what you want? You want to feel confident? Wanted? Good enough?
Then it has to come from you first.
There’s a half-nod in Austin’s direction before he’s slipping a hand down between you, to put a condom on but also—
You moan, rolling your hips as you feel his fingers slide against you, inside of you. He teases, rolls flesh between his thumb and forefinger, lips falling to your neck to leave kisses that eventually find your mouth again.
He takes his time even though you wish he wouldn’t, building you up and letting you down easy before pressing inside. You gasp and your back arches, hips rolling forward, Austin leaning down to capture your mouth again, to absorb your sounds. You wrap your legs around him, which makes moving a little difficult, but you don’t want him to move too far away, want to constantly feel him—keep you both connected.
Austin nips at your lower lip with his own, not taking you long to build up what you’ve started. Pleasure circles in your veins, pulling you towards an end that you doesn’t want to reach yet. He doesn’t stop, keeps moving his hips forward at a quickening pace and you dig your nails into his back.
You barely have time to warn him before you’re cumming, though because your bodies are molded together, you think he already knows—probably knew before you did. He grunts as he loses himself in you, his face falling to your neck, gentle panting and lazy kissing.
You tilt your head back so your throat is exposed, your hands slipping down his back and settling on his waist, his skin a little slick to the touch. He lays there for a long few moments and you take one another in, his chest pressing into your own as you both breathe.
He pulls back too soon for your liking, but you don’t have the energy to tell him to stop. Austin cleans himself up, slipping onto the couch again, this time behind you, and pulls you close. You turn on your side, blankets coming up over your shoulder as you puzzle-piece both of you together, your face hiding in his neck, already falling asleep.
Austin says nothing, which is fine with you, he doesn’t need to say anything. His lips find your shoulder, a few kisses here and there, hands intertwining in your hair.
You finally figure out what you want—
and you want this. You want him.
--
You wake up before Austin does, pulling yourself from the couch and disappearing into the bathroom near the kitchen. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you kinda shake your head before drawing up Jill’s text messages on your phone.
Y/N: I think I messed up.
You wash your face and feel a little more human, sitting down on the closed toilet seat as she pings you back.
Jill: oh no, what happened? Jill: please tell me Austin didn’t turn out to be a serial killer
You laugh, your hand covering your mouth. Jesus. A small, hysterical part of you wonders if that’d be easier to deal with.
Y/N: the wedding went fine, he brought me back home, stayed the night Y/N: may or may not have had sex with him on my couch this morning??
Jill instantly tries to call you and you press the red button—you can’t talk to her when he’s still here.
Y/N: I can’t, he’s still here
Jill: !!!!!! Jill: girl omg— Jill: how was it? 😉
Running a hand over your face, you wonder if you should have ever said anything. Then again, there’s this small smile tugging the corners of your mouth. In general, you know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done—both of you are consenting adults. But then there’s this whole other layer of…paying him to be your date. It’s not like you paid him for sex or anything but…
You kinda can’t help but wonder how many jobs he takes that end up like this.
Y/N: it was perfect but that’s not the point
Jill: so what is the point?
You sigh softly, tapping on your cash app and just…wondering. So many insecurities and questions and wonderings wrapping around you like a blanket, except it’s far too tight, suffocating almost. Taking in a breath, you set your phone down on the counter, looking up when there’s a knock on the bathroom door.
“Y/N?” Austin asks, “You alright?”
Reaching over to grasp the knob, you open the door with a soft smile, “Yeah.”
Austin looks ridiculously adorable slept on. His hair is slightly askew, skin looking warm, a soft, tired look in his eyes. God, you can’t believe he’s been here for so long in these wedding clothes, back in his slacks and a white undershirt.
“I uh,” He clears his throat, “M’gonna head home. Shower, change. But…”
You lick your lips, your stomach flip-flopping with eagerness.
“I was thinkin’ I could come back later; we could talk?”
God, talking sounds like such a great idea. Not to mention you could shower too, put yourself together, feel more like someone capable of having a serious conversation. So you nod with a soft smile—that sounds perfect.
And then—
You can pinpoint the exact moment that Austin glances to the sink and sees the cash app open because his expression changes, like a shadow passing over but instead of dissipating—it stays, darkening the color of his eyes. A breath catches in your throat as you straighten your shoulders, words on your lips and stuck on your tongue. Nothing comes out.
His gaze flickers up from the phone to your eyes and what you see there is like a cold bucket of ice water, anger but…deeper, it’s—
“Not what it looks like.” You finally say, breaking the tension into pieces with a hammer.
Austin hums, nodding his head and licking his lips. He’s trying very hard to speak without sounding annoyed, “What’s it like then?” He asks, the words daggered. “Cause it looks like you were about to pay me for services rendered.”
You shake your head and stand from the toilet on wobbly knees. Austin takes a step back from you, almost like a caged animal, getting ready to bolt. And then you realize, right, he’s not angry, he’s hurt.
“No—”
“Don’t lie to me,” He grounds out, the words chewed on between his teeth.
A shuddered noise leaves your lips because you can tell you’re losing it, this conversation slipping like sand between your fingers. He’s not going to be willing to listen to you if you confirm he’s right, that you had thought about it—if you admit you weren’t sure what you were doing or what sleeping together meant.
You distantly know that this isn’t going to end well, no matter what you say. Austin tore his walls down in front of you, exposed himself, and now he looks like a fool for doing it. Even if it’s on accident, you’ve hurt him, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to backpedal without looking guilty.
“I thought about it,” You admit after a moment. “I wasn’t…” The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel cheap; you know that this thing started as a transaction but also that something changed last night.
“Nah, it’s good. You were payin’ me to do a job, right?” Austin turns to walk back to the living room, gather up his things. And it’s like…you have no idea what you can possibly say, how you can stop him.
Your legs carry you forward, “Austin, don’t.” You sigh and puts a hand on your lips, suddenly feeling nauseas as he moves too quick for you to stop him.
“Business is business. You can stop feelin’ so guilty,” He straightens his shoulders before grabbing his jacket, slipping it on. Metaphorically it feels like a shield, another layer he’s building back up between them both, shutting you out.
He can’t possibly leave like this, right?
You’re practically stumbling over your own feet as he makes it to the front door, “Please don’t walk away.”
His hand pauses on the doorknob, just for a moment, like he might actually be considering your words. But then he yanks the door open and slams it shut once he’s outside.
You don’t go after him.
--
Time goes on.
You expect that Austin might reach out to you—to apologize, to start over, or maybe even request the unfulfilled payment that he was supposed to receive after the wedding date. But nothing, it’s radio silent…and you think that’s worse.
You want to reach out to him on your own, but you’re not even sure where to begin. How to apologize for thoughts that are incomplete in your head. How to express emotions that are sitting at the bottom of your ribcage.
You’re just hoping for a chance to apologize and explain yourself, even though you’re not entirely sure you deserve it. Is this really it? Going back to business as usual and pretend they never met one another?
You sigh as you hear a few knocks on your door and hate how it feels like hope, quickly moving from your kitchen to tug it open and see Jill on the other side. You give her a small smile, letting her inside,
“I got your twenty texts, you alright?”
You run a hand over your forehead and shake your head, moving towards the kitchen for Jill to follow. You offer her a cup of coffee, sitting back at the counter with your own. Wrapping your hands around the ceramic, you glance up at your friend,
“I screwed up.”
Jill sighs softly, grabbing a cup for the coffee because clearly, she’s going to need it. “Tell me what happened; your texts were all hysteria and no detail.”
You map out the whole thing from start to finish, the chapel, the reception, the night of, the morning after—your voice drops on intimate details, like somehow you have to keep them exactly that. Intimate.
“Damn, Y/N.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I know…it was an accident.” You swallow. “The money part, anyways.”
She adds a few spoonfuls of sugar to her mug, stirring. “Does tall, blonde and brooding know that?”
You let your hand fall from your face, eyes focusing out the window above the sink at the city sounds and sights. Suddenly a dark blue gaze rekindles in your memory, the hurt there, wounded and refusing to let you past his boundaries again.
“I tried to tell him; he wouldn’t listen.”
Jill hums under her breath a moment and shuffles, “Maybe give him some time? Try him tomorrow.”
Easier said than done, “I don’t even know where he lives. He’s not going to pick up the phone if I try to call him; texts are useless.”
Your friend’s quiet for a few moments, considering—and then a sound leaves her lips and you picture a lightbulb going off on her facial expression. “But you know where he works.”
--
You stand outside the café that Austin works at for what feels like a long time, staring at the sign and pacing back and forth to your car parked down the street. You really hope no one is watching you because you probably looks crazy; you feel crazy. You can’t just approach this man where he works, can you? You don’t even know if he’s working today.
But it’s…worth a try, right? Like one last shot before you just drop it.
You’re not sure that if the situations were reversed, he’d show up at your front door, so. Or maybe you’re just hoping he would.
So after spending ten minutes contemplating what to do, you finally force yourself to walk up the café door and make your way inside. It’s a hole in the wall but filled to the brim with people at tiny circular tables, waiting in line to place their order with a beautiful blonde cashier and satisfied customers adding sugar and creamer to their coffees at a station to your left.
The heady scent of fresh coffee and baked goods slam into you like a truck, leaving you almost breathless. This place blends in when it should stick out—she wonders if you didn’t know Austin if you’d come in to order an iced coffee just walking by on the street.
Your eyes graze behind the counter until you finally spot him further down, filling baked goods trays in a window that were once empty. A ton of questions hit you at once; did he make those baked goods that are at his fingertips? How does he separate the time between the café and the stand-in job? What are you going to say to him?
Before you can fully approach him, Austin glances up—and spots you.
He’s not happy to see you but he doesn’t look as pissed off as the last time you saw him, so, you consider that progress. You swallow as you walk towards the counter and your hand settles on the top of the glass, the lights above the pastries warming your palm.
“Hi.” That’s it? That’s all you can say? This conversation is going to be just as painful as the last one.
Austin doesn’t have a chance to open his mouth because another worker, a blonde girl, rushes to the counter because she must be on register, “Hi,” She smiles, bright, “We have orange scones on sale today. What can I get you?”
You smile gently at her, glancing at Austin and wondering if he’s going to step in or just…continue not saying anything to you. You suppose you don’t blame him.
“I’ll uhm, take a hazelnut latte and one of those scones,” You nod, reaching for your wallet in your purse, “Thank you.”
“I got the rest of this, Chloe,” Austin steps in as you stick your card into the reader. “Thanks.” He watches her go before turning his attention back to you, customers passing by and receiving orders that he’s already packed at the end of the counter. He hands over your receipt.
“You stalkin’ me now?” He asks but he’s not amused, drumming his fingers on top of the counter.
You let out a slow breath and he moves to fill your order, working the espresso machine with practiced ease, “You won’t text me back.”
“Maybe that’s cause I didn’t wanna talk to you,” He says pointedly before motioning towards your right, “You skipped the line.”
“I didn’t want to order anything, I just wanted to talk.”
He smirks but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and he grabs an orange scone, wrapping it in a napkin. “Look at you, really learned how to be honest about what you want.”
“You taught me how.” You insist, trying to catch his gaze. When you finally do, you hold it there, trying to will him to listen to you—because you’re not grasping at straws, meeting him, spending time with him…being with him really taught you about parts of yourself that were missing.
Or maybe not missing, exactly, but lying dormant.
“I just want five minutes of your time, please, then I’ll leave you won’t hear from me again.”
Austin lets out a long patient sigh with a shake of his head, something between aggravation mixed with a touch of being impressed—you’re persistent, at least. He’s going to hear you out and suddenly all the words mix in a blender and sink to the bottom of your ribs; you’re almost unsure of how to put this but all you can do is try.
“You’ve been right since we first met; I didn’t know how to want things for myself even though I expected so much out of other people.”
You chew on your lower lip a moment, eyes tracing over the handsome lines of his face—now was not the time to get distracted.
“This whole thing caught me off guard, I wasn’t prepared to want you…and not just as my stand-in date, but you.”
He doesn’t hold your gaze and maybe that’s okay, he busies himself with getting other people orders, keeping the line moving but you can tell he’s still listening to you. He’s still intent on hearing you through…even though you’re almost certain it’s not going to make a difference.
You can tell by his expression, by those walls remaining firm; they’re not budging for you.
Not again.
“The money thing was a mistake. You were right, I did open up my app and think about it because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what this thing was or if I was…imaging how I felt. So I fucked up but…so did you for not sticking around and talking to me.”
Austin’s shoulders straighten; he doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. A rod appears up his spine, his posture almost towering despite the glass case between them.
“I just…that’s it,” You swallow, your thumb running over the scone in your one hand and picking up your finished latte with another. “That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for disrupting your work.”
You turn quickly, can’t take the look in his eyes anymore, the bustle of other people around you. You’ve said what you needed to—you should feel more complete than before, right? Because at least he knows your side of things.
It’s his turn.
You push the door open, the welcome bell dinging after you as you leave.
He doesn’t come after you.
--
You try to shake your head as Jill orders another shot, but can’t quite stop her because the woman has a mind of her own when it comes to having a good time.
“No,” You crinkle your nose.
Jill laughs, “Oh come on—one more. You’re not calling it early already, are you? We can get fries after this.”
You sigh, a bit dramatically, but how can you turn down fries? “Fine.” You shake your head, running a hand over your face as you sit at the counter of your frequent bar, “I’ll be back though.”
You slide off the barstool, motioning she should save your seat as you put your purse on it. She grins, cups your cheeks with her hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. You shoo her off, moving through the crowd to the restroom. Once you’ve used the bathroom and spend a little time with a cold and wet paper towel to the back of your neck, you come back out and nearly run someone over—
And blink because—
“Austin.”
It’s been a few months since you’ve seen him but fuck, he looks just as amazing as he did when you tried to explain yourself in the café. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, boots and a white button down, he’s got a leather jacket on as well, just a bit more scruff to his face.
“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna be here.” But it’s…contemplative, thoughtful, like he might have actually planned on trying to find you in the bar where you met.
You feel like the world might be spinning off its axis. “Here I am.”
He smiles a little, glancing over his shoulder and fuck, you wonder if he’s here with someone and—you’re pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t cause some adverse reaction. No punch in your gut that you completely screwed everything up. Time, it seems, does heal some wounds.
Maybe not heal, scar at the very least.
“I saw you post somethin’ on your instastory and I was…well I was hopin’…” He kinda trails off and two thoughts slam into your body like a freight train. One, he sounds…nervous? Which you feel like is very unlike him, given what you’ve been through together. And second? It actually sounds like he knew you were here and he meant to find you on purpose.
“Can we talk?” He asks, “Maybe outside?”
“Yes,” And god, you hope you don’t say that too fast. “Fresh air sounds good.”
As you begin to walk outside with him, you text Jill letting her know where you’re going (and with who). She sends you exactly three text messages in response that you don’t dare look at.
You take in a deep breath in once you get outside, the cool air settling over you like a bucket of cold water. You almost wish you grabbed your jacket from the bar but…dragging Austin over there towards Jill would have been such a bad idea.
It’s fine—the air is refreshing, a bit sobering and this conversation probably won’t last long either way. Taking in a breath, you turn to look at him, a soft smile on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself.
“So…”
Austin clears his throat, “You uh—?” He motions to his jacket and you’re not quite strong enough to deny his offer, so you gently nod your head. Austin slips off his leather jacket and hands it to you and you put it on.
A soft noise of approval leaves your lips as your arms go through the sleeves, a little bit long, feeling perfect though when you zip it up. The lingering scent of his cologne and skin is enough to almost knock you on your knees.
“Thank you.” You whisper, curling your hair around your ear.
You know that Austin is gathering his thoughts, but waiting almost somehow feels worse. You’re just…not sure what to do with yourself other than stare at him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.
“I shouldn’t have left you like that,” He finally says, “At your place?” It’s like the tension start to unwind from your shoulder at that, you almost have to physically swallow over your words so you can let him speak. “Just…felt like what we did, it was real—and—”
“It was real,” You assure him, can’t allow him to think otherwise, “I know this is going to sound cliché but…opening that cash app had everything to do with me, not you. I wasn’t second-guessing what happened.”
Austin gently waves you off, “It’s not your fault, I—I’m so used to things bein’ a business transaction that I just jumped to conclusions.”
You give him a small smile and it feels good? to be on the same page after all this time but…it’s not like, “It’s okay,” You curl your hair around your ear, “I’m not sure where something like this could go. I wouldn’t ask you to quit a job that’s clearly lucrative.”
Austin nods softly, “Well you don’t have to, because I already have.”
You’re not sure why what he says doesn’t register right away, you’re kinda just staring at him, wrapped up in his leather jacket, people passing you both on the sidewalk as you stand outside this bar.
Then you blink, “What?”
He smirks, running a hand through his hair as he nods, “Yeah, I uh—just didn’t want to do it anymore.”
You feel like your brain might be short circuiting, “But about acting? What about L.A.?”
A soft laugh rumbles in his throat, “I can still do L.A. Bein’ an actor isn’t goin’ anywhere.”
And you know that he still has a café job, that he can find other jobs to satisfy what he wants in terms of collecting money but…somehow you’re worried he’s traded one thing in for another. Even though Austin doesn’t look like he has any regrets as he takes a step towards you. His hands gently rest on your arms, sliding down, like he’s waiting for you to push him away.
When you don’t—
“You're not the only one goin' after what they want.”
You can’t stop a small laugh from slipping from your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around you automatically, drawing you closer, his one hand cupping the back of your neck.
It feels like you’re kissing for a long time, or maybe it’s just felt too long since you’ve kissed. Either way, pulling away makes you feel a bit breathless and Austin smiles, pressing your foreheads together for a moment.
It feels like starting over, or maybe even better, a new chapter.
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dotster001 · 9 months
Note
Hi! May I request the reaction of the twst boys, if they already have an S/O but they meet their soulmate? What would they choose between, their S/O or their soulmate?
Summary: Ace/Rook/Sebek/Sam/Leona x. Gn! Reader
A/N: this got long, but I had souch fun thinking about this. So feel free to request other boys for me to look at!
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Ace knew just as well as anyone that in modern day society, it was common to not end up with your soulmate. Some people never met their soulmate, some people's soulmates were just not a good match, some people seemingly didn't even have a soulmate. It was fine. Nothing to get butt hurt about. 
Ace's soulmate mark on the palm of his hand had never even sparkled, let alone lit up. And he'd found someone that he had fun with. He wasn't sure if it was really love, but that was fine since he couldn't be sure if he was even capable of love.
He probably wasn't. His only other relationship, he'd ghosted them once he got bored. So a fun relationship, with no love, was probably all he deserved.
Until the day the you'd poofed into the mirror chamber, and his soulmate mark had glowed for the first time in his life. He saw you looking around in confusion, and at the time, he had assumed you were looking for him. Later he would realize you were too scared to even notice your mark. He was so god damn selfish.
He quietly slipped a glove on that was supplied with his uniform, and decided to wait and scope you out.
….
You'd both just defeated a monster of some kind, and you, Deuce, and the cat monster were laughing together, but he was just thinking of you.
You. You were too good.
He couldn't do this with you. You'd be hurt at first, but it would be better than knowing your soulmate was a heartless asshole who would leave you when he got bored.
You never had to know. He'd take solace in what he had, and give you your best chance for happiness. 
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His string of fate had finally become a natural color. And during the SDC auditions, he'd found it belonged to you. 
He'd told you the truth. That he'd been seeing many people, believing that you were dead, or he'd never been destined to meet you. He was practically pleading with you to forgive him for the crimes he'd committed against you, but you told him you'd done the same thing once you'd realized your string wasn't the correct color.
He fought back a wave of intense jealousy, by kissing you, and telling you he'd break up with the one he'd been dating immediately. Hell, he'd be doing it right this moment, if you hadn't told him it'd be cruel for him to do it over a call.
How could he even care about cruel when you were right in front of him? Ready to help him find his happily ever after! 
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Lilia had always told him about soulmates, and how they would change your life. When you saw them, your world would literally expand, the otherworldly "colors" flooding your vision, but all you'd be able to focus on is their eyes.
He'd started at NRC, and Riddle Rosehearts had brought up the fact that a marriage of convenience would help Malleus more than being with his soulmate would. Silver had stepped in, repeating what master Lilia had always repeated. But Rosehearts was one that his lord respected dearly. There was no harm in trying it.
And one date with the rich merchant's kid had turned into two, had turned into three, had turned into a full relationship. For Sebek, the connections were very helpful to his king. For his partner, connections to the fae court, which were normally hard to come by, were completely open to them. 
While Lilia often gave the disappointed dad look,  and Silver wanted no part in the relationship, Sebek saw no reason to end it.
At least until the two of you made eye contact, and he finally got to experience color. 
You were ecstatic! But he was torn… could he give up this boon he had for his master, just for his own happiness.
He told you he needed time. You looked disappointed. Perhaps you had your own Lilia back home who had filled you with beautiful promises. But you told him you understood. Albeit with tears glimmering in the corners of your eyes.
He spent three days straight training. He didn't think to stop, even with the sweat streaming into his eyes, causing them  to burn more than they already were. 
It wasn't until he felt his Lord's calming presence entering his periphery, a steaming mug of hot cocoa, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream floating in it, in his hands.
"It would be foolish to work yourself to death."
Sebek halted his moves, sheathing his sword, and quietly grabbing the mug.
"It is not often you are rendered speechless," Malleus smirked,but Sebek could barely nod.
Malleus sighed. "Humans do not live very long. To have one for your soulmate is a blessing few get to share. You will have centuries to be bound to someone you do not love.Do not lose your chance to hold them while you have them."
Malleus vanished as quickly as he appeared. Sebek stared at his hot cocoa, before running to find you, while he still had the chance.
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He was always so cold. No matter where he was, he never could find the warmth of his soulmate. He'd ask his friends every once in a while to see if there was a soul that was destined to truly belong to him. The answer was always no. So he lived in eternal winter.
Those trapped in the cold seek warmth. And he'd found solace in a simple witch. There was no love. The relationship was purely to bring warmth to one another.
Then one day, he felt a moment of relief, as his friends came running for him, all of them speaking over one another. The only word he could consistently catch was , "Soulmate". The worst part was that he was literally in the arms of his little witch.
It wasn't that he didn't want you. He desperately did. Especially when Everytime you walked into the room, the cold numbing his fingertips dissipate, and he'd feel like he was in a warm embrace.
But you never pushed him, because of the conversation he had with you the moment you walked into his shop for the first time.
"I can't."
"Huh?"
"Not yet. I have someone relying on me. I'm their only source of warmth. Can you wait for me?"
You truly were perfect for him, because you never brought it up. And if you were anything like him, you desperately wanted the warmth you would feel if you held him close to you. But you were so patient. Pretending everything was fine, while he searched tirelessly for a soulmate that might not exist, for a potion that would simulate the warmth. 
One day though. He promises that one day, he'll have it figured out. And then both of your patience will have paid off.
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no one could ever love him. Which is why he wasn't bothered that no one's name was scrawled on his arm. And why he wasn't bothered when his brother had nervously asked if he'd be opposed to a betrothal to someone from another country. It's not like anyone was waiting for him.
It was a comfortable relationship. They definitely didn't love each other. But at least there was someone who had to at least pretend they cared when you complained about something. Comfortable. That's all he could ask for.
Until he'd felt pain on his arm, and found a name scrawled onto it for the first time. In a sea of new freshmen, he could pretend he didn't notice. He could pretend he didn't see.
And he hadn't run into the person the name belonged to, until you stepped on his tail in the greenhouse.
And after that, you were trying. You were trying so damn hard. It was endearing, and he almost let you in.
But deep down, he knew you'd one day seem him for who he was.
So one day, on edge from you asking him questions about himself, he snapped and told you to stop wasting your time, and get out of his life. Stop lying. No one could ever love him.
You glared at him. You called him a coward. And he growled back at you.
"I don't need you!"
For a moment, you seemed startled. Then you glared at him, and held your head high as you told him you wished him the best but doubted he'd find it.
And as he watched you storm off, a part of him knew you were right.
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the-modern-typewriter · 5 months
Note
Hey! Asking for some writing advice here.
How does one write a villain exactly. In a very simple world with no superpowers and stuff how do you give them motivation. How do you make them slowly descent into villainy. Somehow when the villain actually thinks they're doing the right thing until the very end?
Thx love
There are a few different questions here that I'm going to try to to unpick.
I'll start with a brief overview of the connections between protagonist + antagonist, just because recognising them can be really useful in shaping your own ideas. Then I'll dive into motivation. So.
Antagonist + Protagonist = CONFLICT
If you know your protagonist well, then you have all the ingredients you need to write a great villain/antagonist for them too. Here is why.
Your villain/antagonist is, at the most basic fundamental starting point, something that is between your protagonist and what the protagonist wants/needs. As a very simple example, if your protagonist wants to make sure that everyone is free, then your antagonist is going to in some way be involved with making sure they are not free. Once you know what your antagonist needs to do in a story, then it's a lot easier to pose the question to yourself of 'okay, why would someone do that?'
Villains often reflect an opposite or warped view of the values and motivations that your protagonist has. They mirror or foil your main character. So, your antagonist's motivation will often be either opposite to the protagonist (e.g, your protagonist is motivated by selflessness, so your antagonist is motivated by selfishness in some way) or they will be the same motivation or value gone twisted (e.g. we both have people we love who we would do anything to protect...it's the villains way of acting on that motivation that makes them the villain, not the motivation.)
Of course, you can not have your antagonist + protagonist connected in this way. This is often the case if the source of conflict in your story is not another actual character or if you have a more generic villain. Lots of great stories have generic villains. It typically just means the villain is not a focus. It might be, like, about the friendships made in the journey instead.
Motivations:
I find it helpful to think of all my characters having two motivations.
The external story-specific motivation. This is whatever the antagonist is trying to achieve in your particular story and where things like genre and superpowers etc come into play.
The internal motivation that is more universal. The internal motivation is, while still specific to the character, the driving emotions and values. With a villain, that is often hatred or fear or lust for power because they're villains, but as noted earlier it can be a twisted form of love, or a strong sense of an injustice committed against them. This shapes the external motivation (e.g. 'lust for power = I want the throne, 'fear' = I'm going to kill or belittle or control what scares me so I don't have to feel scared anymore', justice might equal revenge or gaining power to ensure that a wrong is corrected. ) It could also be a bias or a prejudice that they're raised on driving them, that they genuinely believe in. Lots of possibilities!
I think this is true of people as well. We have our foundational core beliefs and desires (to be loved, to succeed, to be accepted whatever) and then we have the things we try to get in the real world to meet those needs (whether they really will or not).
Either way, it's the second one that comes into play with the slow descent into villainy and the villain thinking that they're doing the right thing until the end. Because, initially, their heart genuinely is not in a villainous place. They may actually be doing the right thing at the start. And then bad things happen. They are changed by the journey. They are a protagonist gone tragic.
We all experience emotions that can drive us to behave poorly; the desire for revenge or recognition, to ensure that the people we care about are safe, to get money so that we can provide for ourselves and others etc. None of us are without prejudice or privilege. Those things do not make you a villain, but they can be an excellent starting place for one.
Think about times when you've messed up. A villain is often an exaggerated version of that. You start pushing your own boundaries because there is something you really want/need and, depending on how far you push that...do you feel like you can still go back? Or do you feel like you might as well finish it after everything. At what point do you breathe for air, look up at what you've done, and go shit.
That's the villain who realises way too late that they're the villain.
Final note: I've been using antagonist and villain pretty interchangeably here...but they have slightly different connotations. Your antagonist does not have to be a villain to be effective. They just have to be an obstacle to the protagonist. E.g. if two people are going for the same dream job or trying to win a competition, the other competitors are antagonists to a certain extent, but that doesn't mean they're villainous or bad people. Whether you have an outright villain will depend on your story.
I hope this helps!
Some going further questions to take with you.
Is your villain trying to stop your protagonist from reaching their goal? Or is your protagonist trying to stop the antagonist from reaching their goal?
How does the villain's external goal in the story reflect the inner need? Note. They are aware of their external goal. Most people are not aware of the inner goal in the same way.
Do you know what you want your stories themes to be? (This doesn't have to be complicated and it's fine if you don't, that's what editing is for). Your protagonist and antagonist often weigh in on these themes. For example, your antagonist might be a path the protagonist could have gone down, if they made a different choice or something happened differently in their past.
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Text
Homelander being obsessed with his sister HC II
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Warnings: heavy siblingxsibling implications, Homelander being such a narcissist that he falls in "love" with his own sibling, dubcon, noncon, manipulation, stalking, basically all the horrible parts of HL come out to play, MC has blonde hair and blue eyes like HL, different plot than 'All I Ever Wanted, All I Ever Needed', kidnapping
I III IV V
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Mother fucker would definitely find a way to lock you up in his personal apartment. It’s not easy to keep a supe that had the same powers as him as a captive. Through trial and error, Homelander would find a way to keep you hidden. His little secret
Has major mood change at work and a new skip in his step. All smiles and syrupy sweet voice.
Your parents and friends would go into immediate action to try and find you.
HL installs motion detector cameras throughout his apartment to keep an eye on you when he’s too far away. If anything happened, he knew he could be there in a flash
All day you were forced to wait for him until he got off of work (though does a hero ever really have time off?), like a pet. During that time all you could do was stare at the tv that HL had kindly turned on for you.
Of course you'd tried to escape in the beginning. But HL was faster than you.
Bored out of your mind from the constant stream of tv, you'd manage to wiggle over to the box that Homelander had shown you your first day there. You had time to really look at the contents though it was difficult without the free use of your hands. There were pictures of you as a little girl with your mom and dad. Lo and behold, you even found a picture of you on a young HL lap. Documents upon documents with Vought's stamp on them had you accepting the truth that HL was indeed your blood brother.
Homelander gives up trying to jog your memory once you inform him that you really don't remember much growing up. But you acknowledge him as being your sibling by blood.
"I believe you, but this doesn't condone kidnapping and keeping me here, Homelander." You countered, still not understanding why he went through all of this trouble. Just because you were his sister? That seemed too outrageous to you. Then again, you still didn't really know the real Homelander.
He corrects you. "John. You can call me John." He'd told you that several times but you just couldn't bring yourself to say such a simple name to this legend of a man.
Honestly, the whole abduction thing was a spur of the moment idea but once he found himself in the air with you in his arms, he made the decision that he was going to keep you to himself whether you liked it or not. That was the only way to make sure you wouldn't forget him again or leave him.
And some morbidly twisted feeling was growing inside of him every time he looked at you. You were perfect. Like he was. He talked himself into thinking that this was okay, that he was always meant for someone who was just as perfect as he was. And who better than you who has the same genetic mockup as he did.
He'd tell you all of this like it was the most simplest thing in the world. You gape at him in horror at his grotesque explanation.
Unnerve and discontent raised the hairs up on the back of your neck. What he'd said sounded a lot like him talking about incest. That roiled your stomach, making you feel sick.
He hated the fear he smelled on you in that moment, Homelander even pulls back from you and puts you at arm's length. You hate how he reduced you to someone so helpless. You also hate how much he really scares you.
Swallowing something thick in his throat, HL looks away from you with what you could only read as disgust. Maybe at you? Not for you though. For himself. He'd scared you and that was enough to shame him.
He'd mutter out an incredibly soft apology before leaving his apartment.
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I'm thinking that as long as I have HC ideas of this, that I'll just be adding parts whenever the feeling strikes 🙂
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inthestarsme · 4 months
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Solar return observations pt. 1 ✨
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‼️ Do not reproduce, repost or use any of my content without my consent. If you ever repost anything, you need to always mention my page ‼️
Hey guys! I hope you've been having a great christmas time! I'm starting a new little series, bc honestly, i haven't been observing anything new when it comes to birth charts lately, but i've really been into solar return charts, which is why i really wanted to make this. As you might have seen, i had already posted another observation which included some observations on solar return charts, which i deleted bc some of the things i shared didn't resonate with me and i only want to give you content i can truly stand behind. But i am mentioning this, bc i'm going to include some of the solar return observations i made in this post, so don't be confused if you think you might've already seen this on one of my posts.
If you do not know about solar return charts, i would recommend you to look it up beforehand. I am not the best at explaining this kind of stuff, but there are other astrology pages who have amazing introductions for people who are getring into solar return charts. Please look them up and then come back to this!!
Before we start: these are just my personal observations. I am by no means a professional astrologer, and i don't want you coming for me because you disagree with me on the meaning of something. If you want to correct me, feel free, but i will not tolerate any hate or disrespect (which means you will get blocked).
‼️Trigger warning: mentions of bad relationship experiences, bullying and mental health struggles ‼️
Sooo let's go!
Jupiter in the 8th house conjunct neptune in 7th house: Altough of course this can show different in every persons life, for me in the year i had this placement i didn't meat my rich husband who was my wonderful soulmate. Instead i only dated one guy who in the beginning seemed very great but turned out to just be using me for intercourse In general the guys i've met who were interested in me seemed quite stable and good people, but turned out to actualy be known by close ones as f-boys. So if you have this placement in your solar return chart, please beware. It might look better than it is, as neptune is also about illusions and in the 7th house of relationships, this can mean you might not see who the person truly is, and with jupiter ok the 8th house, it could be because they might be using you for sexual endevours, or you might be more into sexual endavours than usual and thus might yourself give another person the illusion you might be into more to get access in that way (which: please don't do that. there is people out there who are willing to give you that without you having to betray them. it's not fair to someone who is trying to actually build a relationship).
Neptune conjunct the Descendant with Chiron in the 7th house: Adding to the last observation: the year i started dating my first boyfriend who was very toxic and completely used and betrayed me was the year i had neptune, the planet of illusion in a very hard conjunction to my descendant. Also, like chiron (the wound we cannot heal but which can heal others) would indicate sent me into quite a mental health crisis, which i didn't even realize until about 2 years later. it really messed with me, so please be careful if you have this placement. i still learned a lot about relationships, and i feel like i now would never again get into a relationship without being 100 percent certain about the persons intentions and so on.
Saturn, Pluto and Uranus in the 4th house: Whilst Pluto and (especially) Uranus can totally mean you moving because they are very much about change, i wouldn't say the same about saturn in the 4th house. Saturn is usually more about restrictions and difficulties because of that. Of course there could be difficulties with your landlord for example, which might cause you to move, but otherwise, i think saturn here is more about not being able to move freely in your home or you feeling bound to your home for some reason. This can of course vary in interpretation depending on other aspects and planets, it could also be about problems with you family. It very much depends.
North node conjunct uranus in any house: Whatever house this placement is in, you might experience some significant change in the area or might learn something about this area of your life which will change it significantly. For example, a friend of mine had this in his 7th house and during that year, after a lots of years of being in an polyamorous relationship, they went back to a monogamous relationship because some things had appendd which made them realize for them to keep on having a healthy relationship, a monogamous relationship might be better. I also had this placement in my ninth house and during this year some things happened which significantly altered the way i handle my studies in college.
Stellium in 12th house (with sun and moon): You might be going through a phase where you are in more solitute and a lot of things you didn't know about will come to light. I am currently experiencing this, and i could totally feel the shift. I feel it kind of was like my last solar reutrn year i had so many experiences with traveling and meeting new people, that i kind of feel like an "experience fatigue". it felt like i was making so many new experiences, and focused on making more and so on, that i forgot to put meaning and intention behind those. So now i just want to slow down and still make experiences, but also focus on my inner world, on learning new things about myself and also work on some mental health stuff. also, i feel like there has been a lot going on behind the scenes on how people view or say about me which i don't or didn't know about, like for example one year a go, a comment i made on youtube got about 6000 likes and people were bashing me so hard in the comments and i didn't even notice until now 😭 idk, i hope whatever is going to be revealed isn't too harsh (the comments were bad but honestly, i didn't mind. it's not the first time i've gotten hate on social media lol). the 12th house is generally not considered to be very positive, but for now i feel like it is mostly about me time and discovering new things about myself.
Sun square pluto: I read something on the tumblr page "lavishlyleo" about this placement being a very difficult placement which can last for a looong time, and i looked it up: i've had this placement since i was about 14 years old. now, i've had quite a rough childhood, but me having to deal with that and having to process it and simultaniously starting to experience more bullying and so on started about this time. i think beforehand i knew my life wasn't the greatest, but i could still move through it and be very happy and content because i had a great friend group and a lot of other good stuff going on. the fact of me having to realized how the things i have gone through were so fucked up and how they messed with me was soo much harder tbh. but now this placement has been easing up a bit and will go away in about two years and i have honestly been doing so much better that the years beforhand, especially when it comes to my social life! i am so excited on seeing how life will be as soon ad this placement finally goes away.
Chiron or lilith in the 11th house: As these two are more harsh and about experiencing some bad stuff to also learn and develope, having this in the 11th house may not be a good sing of you keeping your friend group because and maybe losing those. Or in general just having bad experiences with groups of people.
I will leave you with this now. As the year progresses, i will see how certain placements play out in my and other peoples life, so i can give you some more observations i made. But i hope you enjoyed this!
Sending out love and please keep safe! Until next time byebye 🩵
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kcamberart · 8 months
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Development going forward
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So in case anyone hasn't heard, Unity announced this morning that they're going to be making some pretty major (baffling) changes to their licensing plans and monetization. TLDR regarding the pertinent info (from what I understand. The company hasn't made another statement at the time of writing, and the FAQ is very vague):
They've removed the cheapest paid subscription tier (Unity Plus) completely, and are altering Unity Personal (the free one) so that the editor needs an internet connection in order to function. If you're offline for 3 days, it kicks you out until you reconnect to the internet again for the software to phone home. This is apparently not an issue if you subscribe to Unity Pro, the $2,000/yr plan.
If you publish a game made using the Unity engine, once it passes a certain threshold of installations and revenue, Unity will charge you a fee for every subsequent installation of your game on a per-month basis (and it's not per-purchase, it's per-installation. So (allegedly) if someone on Steam buys, installs, uninstalls and then reinstalls your game, or if they need to update the game, that's considered multiple different instances of installation and Unity will (allegedly) charge the developer as such). This will go into effect in January of 2024, but will seemingly retroactively apply to all games published before then as well.
If I've misunderstood any of this, please feel free to correct me.
I would not be surprised if they heavily walk back some of this (i.e., "the last time we announced something bad everyone got mad about it, so this time we'll announce something unbelievable and then say that we changed our minds so people will be more willing to accept the slightly less bad thing we wanted to do in the first place"), but it's setting a very bad precedent for using Unity for any future projects.
I'm currently weighing my options on whether to finish Vollema in Unity and then migrate to a new engine for future projects (Godot gets better every day, from what I've heard), or to just take what I've made so far and start over using different software. Honestly, it's early enough in development that the vast majority of what I have finished and ready to implement is visual assets, dialogue, narrative stuff and audio, so I'm leaning heavily towards testing the waters with a different engine. I likely also will not be able to work on or release any smaller games in the coming months for the time being (RIP 2023 Halloween Game, I'll make it up to you) while I make some decisions. Regardless, I'll keep you all in the loop.
TLDR: I'm likely going to be changing game engines, which will definitely set Vollema's development time back a bit (along with my other projects), but development in general will continue regardless.
Hopefully I'll have more positive news to share with you soon! I'm gonna miss my add-ons, though. Oh man, am I gonna miss my add-ons.
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tyttamarzh · 4 months
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Missasinfonia, songs and QSMP…
Hello!! Well, since we all continue to miss Missa, I want to share a little thought.
I don't know if it has already been talked about here, but in the Hispanic fandom of Missa we have his songs very present and some people have not been able to avoid talking about how some of them adapt perfectly to the QSMP.
I want to talk about two in particular whose lyrics I think are perfect for describing Missa's relationship with his family.
The first one is called "Privilegios" (privileges) and I think it describe what Missa is currently going through with Philza. Well, it talks about the anxiety of feeling insufficient for the other and trying to improve but feeling afraid of moving forward (the young Missa from 2014 wrote very deep lyrics). I remember that in a stream he told us about how several of his songs came about and said that he wrote "Privilegios" thinking about us, the people who follow him, because he didn't feel enough for us and is why he always try to do things better. Either way, I think he's perfect for describe his situation with Phil.
The song:
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Lyrics
Sometimes I forget my sorrows and things I should do Because ideas slip away, they do not allow us to see Well creating something new means forgetting I would like to be like before and go back to the past
I know how to write the word mature very well But my thoughts don't let me act I don't want to forget, I don't ask for your mercy Because honestly I can fix it.
Chorus I don't know what to do if you're not okay (you're okay!) I don't know whether to lie to me or throw myself at your feet I wonder if I can deserve you Because I didn't earn the privilege.
How can I destroy damn anxiety? If outside my mind is my reality It is not so easy to wish others ill. just so I can free myself
The second song I want to talk about is called "Tarde para el plan B" (Late for Plan B) and I think it could be a message from Missa to Chayanne, some of the things he mentions remind me of what Missa told him in that day of fishing before travel to Japan. He talks about how it's okay to fail and that he shouldn't be overwhelmed by his mistakes, and encourages him to keep going and get better. There is also a phrase that I like to think is very much theirs, since it infers that even if they are not together, he will always see him. Now every time I hear that song I think of them and I can't help it u.u (It's a song created 10 years ago, but I think it's fits perfectly).
The song:
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Lyrics
Have you ever wondered… what could happen if after the years, you could come back to the past? Would you have the chance to see what is wrong the bad memories you would be able to erase.
Enjoy moments you didn't see coming feel from the beginning what you should feel but remorse can cut you and repenting would be the final act
Look for alternatives, see how to improve May you know how to handle your situations You don't always get a second chance. you must take advantage of what time gives you
If they give you their hand, don't take our foot don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning You don't run when you want to calm down do something your soul can bear
[PRE CHORUS] And it's not that it's bad, it could be worse. What doesn't kill you makes you better.
And listen to me, here I will be, watching your actions wherever you are.
sometimes the reasons chase me but they don't want to catch me Sometimes actions are what will count, but you won't count. I prove that what I say is true It's your problem if you don't want to change but honestly sometimes everyone can fail
In the hope that everything is fine There are ideas within your being that grow and create the bad decision than wanting to correct what has already happened
Do what you need to make you feel better. Defeat your demons, destroy that pain Errors exist to know what someone else could fall into
and it's not that it's bad, it could be worse What doesn't kill you makes you better
listen to me, I will be here watching your actions wherever you are
My favorite phrase from this song is: "don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning" (I just like how deep it sounds xD)
And that's all for now, I've never created a post here, I hope it's okay. Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts. Greetings!!
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ratrrriot · 11 months
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How do you feel when people call Amy a stalker?
People can call her what they want, however…
Do i think it's fair to call Amy a stalker?
In some of the games? Yes, and even in some of the ones she wasn't a stalker per-se, she still showed possessive and obsessive tendencies. So i get where it comes from...
Generally? No. Her character originally wasn't supposed to be a harasser and she sure isn't one in the present. the franchise has been clearly trying to do better for her these past few years.
I think Amy's changing characterization is an interesting topic of discussion, so even though i technically already answered your question i'll take this chance and proceed to talk about my fave for way longer than i need to :).
Note: This is just my take on Amy and the way i understand her ENGLISH PORTRAYAL. I won't be talking about her japanese one which would deserve its own analysis.
Sorry for any writing mistakes in advance (english is hard) and feel free to correct me if i'm factually wrong about something (i wrote this thing mostly from memory so i imagine i must be.)
Amy has changed A LOT troughout the games and has been in the hands of many different writers across Sonic media ,so when talking about her is important to be specific about what game,series or comic we are talking about (and language),and while i know that some of you might not agree and i respect that, i think that -looking at the subtleties- Amy has had at least 6 different portrayals through the course of the games. That being said,i believe the idea that she is a stalker comes especifically from the characterization they started giving her around 2003
Originally,Amy was envisioned as a sweet 12-year-old kid who had a huge unreciprocated crush on her idol and a passion for fortune-reading ,but who wasn't exactly much of a heroine herself. In the classic era,her place in the narrative was just to serve as a damsel in distress and a cute,funny detail. Ofc,in comics and animated shorts for games like Origins, we have gotten more content of classic Amy being fully independent and capable of defending herself (even more with the upcoming playable mode for her in Origins Plus), but i think we can all see how such aspects of her character weren’t included at the time she was created (only exception being Sonic Fighters)
Especifically in the adventure era (AKA the birth of modern Amy) they gave Amy her iconic strong,compassionate,romantic personality and an interest/love for adventure (and her sassy attitude ofc). She's outspoken,stubborn,brave and honest. I also want to point out that in this first portrayal ,her love for Sonic feels more like innocent childish idolization than an obsession and that her character doesn't revolve exclusively around it (she will stand in his way if she doesn't think what he does is right). Tbh i think she's incredibly funny,cool and lovable,
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They slowly started planting the seeds for her character to stop being a "damsel in distress" by making her playable and defeat ZERO all on her own at the end of SA1,then also being playable in Sonic advance and helping Sonic get out of prison in SA2 (and tagging along for the rest of the adventure). In all these games,her character revolves around empathy,optimism and kindness. The way she protects the flicky since the moment she finds it,how she defends Gamma from Sonic and the iconic moment in SA2 where she convinces Shadow to help save earth are all great examples.
THEN, in Heroes , they decided to try something new with her taking her confidence and sassy attitude to a whole other level. Giving her the chance to be a fully-fleshed hero who didn't need rescuing anymore. She became independent and the leader of her own team of friends who she wanted to help. I love this Amy cause she feels really strong,determined and empowered without losing her peppiness,silliness,positivity and kindness. Her flaws are also especially endearing to me: How much of a wild kid she is,How even if she means well, she relies way too much in brute force, How she has trouble getting out of her own head, etc. She really feels just as confident and energic as Sonic,but just like him,you can tell she has a huge heart.
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HOWEVER, as much as i love how they made her strength and bravery shine in this game, Heroes was the game that gave birth to the idea that Amy is willing to chase and even fight Sonic just to insist that they should marry (in SA2 she did follow him to the prison but it was only to help him and tag along in the adventure).
Ofc this was supposed to be comedic and to be seen as childish,harmless behavior- I say this because the rest of the characters,including Sonic himself,don't seem to take it seriously- but what was supposed to be seen as an endearing flaw at the time, would rapidly mute into what's probably Amy's worst portrayal ,as the writers turned it into harassment for the next mainline games (Ignoring Shadow the hedgehog where she is the same as in heroes and only has a brief appearance.)
Before i go into Battle,i just want to say that the definition of stalker according to google is “a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.” A definition that definitely did not apply to her before Heroes,but that i can't deny that does apply to Amy for the next few games:
In Battle, Amy is suddenly written as aggresive and self-centered. All her compassion and empathy from the adventure era is gone, intimidating people (even Cream) and demanding information from them from the get-go. Of course she does a few good things throughout the game too,like take care of Emerl and such,but she still mainly uses him for her benefit (calories counter and emerald radar). Right off the bat,at the start of her storyline she insists on searching for Sonic even when she herself assumes he is hiding from her -which implies she knows what she's doing is worth hiding for- and tries to justify her behavior by saying that Sonic actually loves her and that he is being “ just shy “ or that “ he got cold feet”- while others characters react in a way that implies that's obviously not the case and that her behavior is worrysome..
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I think it's important to mention that before Battle, we hadn’t gotten a single line of dialogue that implied that Amy tought that her behavior could be hurtful for Sonic, nor did she ever threaten anyone at all unless it was self defense. She knew he didn’t reciprocate her feelings and was actively trying to make him fall for her anyways,sure, but we gotta remember that while the canon ages might have been scrapped recently, at the time Modern Amy was created they were still very much canon and you can tell they had them in mind when writing these characters. Amy was supposed to be 12 ,so it makes sense that she didn't understand why Sonic wouldn’t accept her affection. She idolized him and misinterpreted the fact that he always was protecting her as possible romantic interest,but never actually imposed anything on him. The worst thing she ever did to him was wanting to hug him without consent,and again, the games implied that she clearly didn't realize such a thing wasn't ok. Sonic also didn't seem to want to hurt her feelings so while he did run away and expressed being annoyed by her he never explicitly told her to stop. I actually think that if he had sat her down and made it clear to her that what she was doing was truly bothering him, The Amy from the adventure era would have stopped, but i doubt he cared enough to do that honestly (after all ,in his recap screens it is implied that what truly bothers him about Amy being near him is not her crush,but that he thinks shes exposed to danger.)
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BUT in Battle and for the next three games,Amy doesn’t seem to be written as a 12-year-old who mistakes admiration for love anymore. This is where the writers started to portray her as someone who is clearly still young and definitely childish but not innocent. Her whole character revolves around harassing Sonic and using her strength to intimidate others, and don't get me wrong,I like that Amy gets angry easily!! i like that she isn't afraid of a fight,that she complains a lot, and that she isn't peaceful. After all,those are important parts of who she is. But Battle!Amy is on a whole other level: she gets mad at her friends just because they don't agree with everything she does or says. It's not about having a strong personality anymore,she's just generally aggressive. For the next few games she and Sonic can't have one normal conversation that isn't Amy imposing her own wishes over him and him trying to get away from her, so it's hard to believe she wouldn't realize that what's she's doing is wrong nor accidental as we were supposed to before. This time It just feels like she is deciding to ignore the signs.
This continued in advance 3 ,where she literally threatens him with her hammer just cause he shows signs of not being interested in spending time with her when they meet, Then in rush she becomes possesive and jealous the second he mentions Blaze and also seems to treathen him with the hammer in the credits scene because he is running from her hug.
They changed the direction of her characterization again after Rush. The best way i can describe the Amy that is present in Riders,06,etc is one that has two very polarized sides to her personality. On one side,she is a peppy,sweet,over enthusiastic and romantic girl, on the other she is a pretty intimidating one with an obsession with Sonic and very fiery temper. However,contrary to her last portrayal,she is more polite and actually asks Sonic if she can come with him various times,doesn't harass him and doesn't threaten people simply cause they don't agree with her anymore, but she still doesn't seem to have any sense of boundaries,still follows Sonic without permission sometimes and still clearly has no consideration for his personal space. Another thing about this Amy is how her flirting is really intense, and even if she isn't as aggressive as the Amy from Battle,if someone messes a bit with her she doesn't hesitate to resort to intimidation or take her hammer out.
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She still gets violent towards Sonic sometimes,but what's different from her last characterization is that instead of doing so merely because he doesn't show romantic interest in her ,its mostly because he doesn't follow on his promises (end of Black Knight) or shows up to save her “properly” (Referring to 1- that scene in Riders where he blows eggman -who had caught Amy- away with wind and she chases him with her hammer because “how could he not think that would hit her too “ and 2- the one in Zero Gravity where he arrives late to save her and she playfully throws him a few fists saying that “it took him long enough!”). I don't think she's necesarily right to do that but i don't consider it to be problematic either, since by that point the games had strongly implied that there was a non-spoken agreement between the two that he'll always show up to save her and the whole thing feels more playful than anything else. Mostly because Sonic seems to be fine with her being around again, as he never really denies her acussations or runs away when she gets mad,and even tries to explain himself to her.
So yeah,this Amy is one of the more famous -and infamous- ones,as her negative and positive qualities are more balanced than the one from Battle. However,i personally don't like her much as there's almost no focus on the empathetic/compassionate side of her character that was so prominent in the adventure era and ,even if i wouldn’t call this version of her a Stalker , she's still is way too obsessive and possesive for my liking. The writing for her character is still pretty much completely based on being attracted to Sonic, to the point that In 06 she tells Silver that, if she had to, she'd “choose Sonic over the world".
In Sonic Chronicles , Amy gets a lot of dialogue. She gets jealous in a scene but its not as bad as in Rush and she tries to make Sonic jealous by inventing a fake boyfriend (terrible trope) but her levels of aggressiveness are up to the player's treatment of her. I am ,however , mentioning this game because of a scene in specific near the final section in which Amy is scared they might die and aks Sonic if she can have a moment with him. She then tries to have a serious conversation and politely asks if he cares about her or if he likes her at all. if the player chooses to make Sonic say he does care for her she is legitimately surprised and thankful. Idk what happens If he rejects her cause i haven't been able to find any recordings of that and i never owned this game,but i'll assume that her reaction won't be too bad considering she is asking in the first place(?) feel free to tell me if you know…
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This portrayal of Amy is still present in Unleashed (2008) ,in which Amy is there to cheer/support Sonic on throughout the game and to serve as an important indicator that Sonic is quite self conscious of his looks when he's a werehog. She is generally very sweet towards him in this game (especially when she shows no rejection towards his werehog form,which is a detail i adore), even if she does get annoyed when he doesn't pay as much attention to her as he does to Chip or reciprocate her feelings.
A good example is how, before the last temple ,she asks him if he'd like to go on a date with her after everything is over. If you choose the positive dialogue option she is ,again, positively surprised and thankful. If you make him say no she complains about how he's being mean, but doesn't insist on it and just accepts it.
In Free Riders (2010) ,Amy just generally acts extremely out out of character (like,she doesn't even fit into Battle's portrayal). It really feels like someone who didn't know anything about the character wrote her, so for the sake of the pink hedgie let's ignore it and go back to talking about portrayal 4.
I already mentioned her brief apparition in Black Night and there's nothing worth mentioning about her in Generations so i'll skip them.
This portrayal ended in Lost World (2013),In which they toned down Amy as a character in general,leaving out all of her flaws and iconic traits out. She feels plain and her strong personality,confidence,sass,energy,etc all seem to be completely gone. She's just sweet and that's it . For some reason there's a scene where she literally tries to confess to Sonic and is cut off before she can finish,which is very funny considering it had never been treated as a secret before??? it really goes to show how hard they were trying to pull some kind of reboot on her. Fortunately,this characterization was only a two-game-thing (She is just as plain in Forces (2015)) so i'll put it in the same bag as the Free riders one and we'll leave it at that.
After Lost world came Boom (2014) ,and then we got the most recent change of Amy's personality,which we all know has had a mixed reception from the fandom. Originally people thought that this Amy would stay just in the Boom universe ,but this personality has been showing up in the mainline games for a while now,like in Team Sonic Racing (2019) and Frontiers (2021).
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This Amy feels older than any of the ones that came before her. She kept the sass,the love for romanticism,the positive attitude,the confidence and the strenght but her bad temper and over enthusiasm are gone,as she is generally more calm,less energetic and not childish at all. Most importantly,this Amy is extremely emotionally intelligent,as the rest of characters seem to look for her help and advice constantly ( to the point that she has been given the "therapist friend" title by the fandom and is even referred as "the nice one" by Eggman himself ). Another interesting thing about this Amy is that she doesn't flirt with Sonic anymore,In fact, she barely expresses her liking for him (She does so a bit more in Japanese chz the characterization varies) and Sonic seems completely comfortable with this version of her around.
A lot of people say that this version of her is out of character and I completely understand where that comes from, but i must disagree because this characterization of Amy is the first one since the adventure era that focuses on her compassion/empathy rather than on her crush on Sonic, which combined with her intelligence,makes her not out of character,just the most emotionally mature Amy to date instead. I actually think that if the og modern Amy had grown up,this is the kind of personality she would’ve developed while becoming an adult (although she isn't supposed to be one). A good argument to defend this point would be that one Egg-memo you can buy through the fishing minigame in Frontiers where Eggman talks about how Amy has "come a long way" and how it took her some time "to find herself" and get out of Sonic's shadow.
Only problem i have with this Amy is that i wish she was more flawed and bubbly,mostly cause she can come off as very plain from time to time and way too mature. She is a bit too perfect for my taste. I'd like her to mess up more,to not always be so smart,to be more impulsive,a little bit more clumsy,fiery and wild,just so she could have some more of the charm of the original,y'know?
Before i talk about her more recent Videogame portrayal (TMoSTH) i want talk about IDW Amy:
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in IDW, all of Amy's flaws and positive traits from past games are balanced pretty well: she is flawed and relatable and can mess up a bit sometimes because of her impulsivity,but she's emotionally and strategically inteligent, optimistic and incredibly kind. She is a great fighter and leader,but also a wonderful friend who offers emotional support. She has a strong personality, lots of sass and can be very aggressive and intimidating towards her enemies, but not any less of an empathetic and compassionate person because of that. Her strength and confidence are pillars for her character instead of nonsensical anger,but she still shows self doubt and fear from time to time. She is energic, idealistic and still a romantic,but not obsessive nor possesive. peppy but emotionally intelligent. She still loves Sonic, but her feelings for him feel authentic rather than childish idealization,and given that she now respects his space,she's written to be happy just with fighting by his side and jokingly flirt from time to time. (their bond also seems stronger,but that's a topic for another day.)
I believe this portrayal of her is one of the best we've gotten in the sense that she represents a good mix of most things that has made her positively memorable since the beginning and lacks every problematic aspect of her character that was added post her creation. And because of this good mix of characteristics, IDW Amy is constantly praised by the fandom. But something i hear a lot is people saying how they love IDW Amy and despise "Main Amy" -by which i'll assume they refer to videogame Amy just in general- and that way of summarizing all of Amy's game portrayals feels very odd to me, especially because IDW Amy is a culmination of every single good aspect that has been added to this character combined with most of what she was meant to be at the start. In other words,IDW Amy couldn't exist if it wasn't for all the game Amys before her.
It's true that in IDW we haven't seen her character be as impulsive and outspoken as in the Adventure era or Heroes, and i miss that as much as every other Amy fan. But I do think that ,because so much assertiveness wouldn’t coexist very well with things like careful thought, the reason for that change must be that IDW is writing an more mature version of the character and It’s hard for them to keep such aspects of her personality intact without her being seen as childish by the audience now that they are paired up with big responsabilities (ex: the restoration) Especially since that super impulsive nature of hers probably came naturally at the time because she was supposed to be a 12-year old and wether we like it or not, it was implied by the narrative that it was one of the main reasons she got caught by eggman both in SA1 and SA2. Aka,IDW Amy isn't allowed to make as many mistakes as the og.
After all ,Amy used to be written to be mostly seen as a comedic character and as an "extra addition" to the main team rather than as an important,needed member of it. ( even in Heroes,where she had formed her own team,she was still trying to catch up to Sonic and his team because she had been excluded of it.) If she made a mistake and got caught by eggman because of her stubborness,the writers would just make Sonix fix things. In IDW she doesn't just feel older,but she has also gotten to have important roles in the fight against Eggman and people rely on her with their lives,so it doesn't surprise me that the writers try to make her be more conscious and careful when it comes to her actions now that she has more responsibilities and can't allow herself to make as many mistakes as she did back when she was written to be more immature and impulsive because of that extreme assertiveness.
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Now,I personally believe that Amy in TMoSTH is the same as in IDW, just that she feels more like her OG self in TMOSTH because ,for the most part ,Bday Girl is on that train literally to just have fun and do as she pleases. She doesn't have any weight on her shoulders nor expectations,she is free of responsabilities all the way until the climax of the game and the game itself is very comedy-centric for the most part, so the writers pobably felt like they could set that impulsive,assertive side of her loose again, and i loved it!
In this game her character doesn't revolve around Sonic and she messes up a lot (The way she was so ashamed of how she broke her hammer when she tried to escape the closet with brute force that she lied, how she didn't realize Sonic was actually hurt because she was too excited about the game, how she was overconfident and impulsively tried to solve the case and completely failed ,how she and vector started beating a wall violently after realizing the train was alive,etc),but her positive qualities shine throughout the game as well ( How she took the time to organize a party that she'd think everyone would have fun at,How she is so thankful that everyone showed up and doesn't mind that Shad and Sonic didn't bring gifts, how she makes sweets remarks about others and cute jokes in distressing situations,how she has faith in Shadow's goodwill, The way she delivers the final blow at the end and says that despite everything,she loved the party because it was an adventure,etc ). Throughout the game,Sonic and the rest treat her in a way that really goes to show what a good friend and a lovely person she is ,and she expresses great appreciation for everyone's presence in her life.
It's honestly an amazing coincidence that this game takes place on her bday considering that it's the one that made this portrayal of her "game canon". As a fan of her, i celebrate it and hope we get more of it in the near future.
So yeah, i didn't talk about Sonic X Amy,Archie Amy nor all the comics,series and games that came out between the big videogame titles. There is much more about how Amy has been written that could be said, but i think i did a pretty decent summary of the most important changes her character has gone through the years mainline game-wise,at least good enough to defend my point that she wasn't a stalker originally and she definitely isn't one now. As i mentioned before,i agree that she was portrayed as possesive and obsessive for a long period of time and as an actual harasser for a shorter one , and that we should definitely recognize it and be critical of such things being portrayed as “quirky” and “funny” aspects when they are in reality, hurtful. BUT summarizing her whole character by calling her a stalker and an obsessive fangirl is defining her based on the worst examples of her characterization and ignoring her good ones completely.
Feel free to disagree with my character analysis,my opinions and the way i categorize her portrayals,but i strongly believe that Amy rose isn't meant to be a harasser,an obsessive fangirl or personal space invader.
My girl deserves better.
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shinehalley · 1 month
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I think between the most common misinterpretations of Pride and Prejudice that irritates me the most i can say the one at the top is when they say that the story is about a woman fixing a complicated guy and this becomes references in terrible romances. I've heard this so many times and as a person who grew up with the 2005 film and reads the book at least once a year I need to get it off my chest.
Starting off, Darcy is not a "complicated man". He's not a bad guy who takes out his traumas on other people, he's not a guy who's waiting to be saved by a woman who "silences his demons" and even less a guy who mistreats the women he's with. Darcy is actually a rich man with rude manners and some class prejudices. The point is that Darcy is a man with moral convictions and feelings that make him a good man despite these aspects. His rude manners are a reflection of his class prejudice, but they do not dictate how he treats people for whom he has feelings of affection. The way he would be able to move the world for those he cares about and seek the closest thing to what is considered justice in the temporal context of the story reinforces the goodness of his character. This is even more evident in the comparison that is made between him and Wickeham, where one is unpleasant but good and the other is pleasant but a cheat.
And what Elizabeth does is far from correcting him. Darcy doesn't realize how his class prejudice affects the way he communicates with people and the view he has of himself because everyone always justifies his arrogance as fair because of his wealth. So he believes that Elizabeth admires him when, in reality, she despises him for these characteristics. And what she does is just say it to his face, something no one has done before, and that's it. This is Elizabeth's contribution to any development of Darcy, to say how arrogant and prejudiced he is. It is Darcy himself who reflects on her words and realizes that she is right and that he is not being as fair as he thought he was. He realizes his own prejudice and realizes his own arrogance and of his own free will decides to change because he wants to be a better and more pleasant person.
It could be said that it was fate that put him and Elizabeth in each other's path and made her realize, now with more pleasant manners without prejudices obscuring her actions, what a good man Darcy is and become enchanted by him. But if they hadn't met again, Darcy would still take on this challenge of re-educating himself and being a better person and Elizabeth would still continue to think of him as an arrogant man in whom she feels no interest.
The other issue is that Elizabeth is not perfect. She has her own prejudices that are overcome throughout the book thanks to her coexistence with Darcy and not because of Darcy. The fact that she lives with both Darcy and Wickeham at the same time is what makes her understand how unfair she was in her first impression and how foolish she was in being guided by that to define the characters of both. Kindness and amability are not synonymous with integrity and she learns this the hard way. It's a lesson that if she hadn't learned through her time with Darcy, she would have learned it in some other way because life has things like that.
Finally, they were essential in each other's lives because of the teachings they left to reflect on their actions in relation to the world and not because they depend on each other. Both are confronted with their prejudices and realize that they were not fair and try to change for better people regardless of whether they are together or not. Their meeting after realizing their errors in judgment is purely accidental. They don't change for each other, they change for themselves, because they realize how proud they were and want to be more fair, and after that they end up being placed back in each other's lives by chance. That's what makes them such an interesting couple and makes us wish we had what they have.
Reducing the story of Darcy and Elizabeth to an asshole man who is fixed up by a woman is a mistake so grotesque that it is noticeable that it could only have been said by a person who has never seen the story or seen it with their ass.
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nicoline1998enilocin · 5 months
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Naughty fantasies | 500 follower special 🖤
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Pairing | Boyfriend!Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Avenger!Fem!Reader
Word count | 2.5K
Summary | Bucky recently discovered a specific fantasy he's been wanting to fulfill. Even though you two have never experimented with roleplaying before, you're instantly on board when he brings up the idea of a Student/Teacher roleplay. It's just not the way you had initially thought...
Warnings | Established relationship ~ boyfriend/girlfriend, use of nickames ~ Doll, Baby Boy, Baby
Smut | Porn with some plot, Bucky watching porn, implied male masturbation, oral ~ M&F receiving, deepthroating, student/teacher roleplay, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), Sub!Bucky Barnes at first, but later he takes back control.
A/n | Firstly, I want to apologize that this has taken so long to be posted, life got in the way and with Fluffcember going on too it was hard for me to find the time to write this. But it's here now, and I hope you will all enjoy it! This is written as a thank you and celebration for reaching 500 followers; this one has been chosen by all of you! 🩵
A/n 2.0 | This is proofread by the amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917, for which I am truly grateful! I also believe this was based on a post from @notafunkiller a while back (please correct me if I'm wrong and it wasn't you!) about wanting to see a student/teacher fic with student Bucky, so I hope this will fulfill at least a little bit of that craving 👀🩵
Events Masterlist | 2. ''Don't tell anyone'' | @the-slumberparty
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Banners: @vase-of-lilies | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Owner
Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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You've been away on a solo mission for the last three weeks, meaning your boyfriend, Bucky, has been looking for a different way to meet his needs. Not in the form of another woman, but in the form of his fist while watching porn.
The idea of porn was very foreign to Bucky at first, but he has always been curious about it. When he truly couldn't take it anymore, he decided to ask you since there's no one else he trusts more with such a sensitive topic than you.
''Doll? Could you come here for a moment?'' Bucky asks as he's seated on his bed, and you're getting ready for a girls' night out with Nat and Wanda.
You just put on your outfit for the night, and once your heels are on, you're ready to go. During this entire time, Bucky had watched you like a hawk, enjoying every curve of your body when you changed and pouting when you told him you couldn't stay.
If it were up to him, he would have you under him the entire night, making each other cum so many times you don't remember your name, let alone where one person begins and the other ends. But no, you couldn't cancel girls' night again.
''Is everything okay?'' you ask as you walk over to him, putting your hand on his thigh as you look at him with a curious gaze.
''Everything's perfect, but I've been... wondering about something,'' he starts, his voice trailing near the end and a blush creeping onto his cheeks. 
Your eyebrows are slightly raised out of curiosity, and your mind is going a mile a minute as you're trying to think of what could be swirling around in his brain. The following sentence is most definitely not on the list of things to even cross your mind, let alone his.
''Where can I watch porn?'' he said it like it was the most casual thing in the world, like someone asking what's for dinner that night. You nearly choked on your saliva, and after your coughing fit, you looked at him to make sure you heard him correctly.
It turns out that you did.
''Are you okay, Doll? I can ask someone else-'' ''No! I can show you!''
It was unexpected, yes, but you didn't want to give Bucky the feeling that you'd think he was weird or that you weren't okay with explaining these things, too. They're only natural, after all.
And that's how you found yourself explaining to Bucky where he can find free porn, and he has been exploring the wonderful world of online porn.
Ever since that night, he has watched porn a couple of times, usually only when you're away on long missions like you are now. He's been watching one of his usual videos when he stumbles upon something he's never seen before that instantly piques his interest.
Student/Teacher roleplay. After that first video, he has been going down an entire rabbit hole of roleplay porn, but he noticed he gets the most satisfaction from the student/teacher dynamic.
Somewhere along the way, he found out about the dynamics being reversed. It was usually a male being the teachers and a female being the students; in this one, a female teacher was punishing her badly behaving student.
Now, he's trying to find a good way to bring up the fact that he's interested in trying out a little roleplay of his own. It's not something you two have ever tried before, but it's not something you have discussed.
So here he finds himself watching the same video over and over again, his sweatpants on his knees together with his underwear and his fist wrapped around his cock, stroking himself at a leisurely pace.
Despite seeing the video countless times at this point, it never fails to get him off, and this time is no exception if it weren't for the fact that you swung open the bedroom door, just as he was about to reach his climax.
His super soldier hearing had not notified him of your arrival because he screamed when you caught him, his phone flying across the room as he tried to cover himself up.
''D-doll! Fuck! I didn't know you'd be home so soon...'' he mumbles, his face bright red while you walk over to where his phone landed to see if it's okay.
''Please, don't tell anyone!'' Bucky pleads, not wanting everyone to know about the kind of porn he watches. It's nothing illegal or anything, but that doesn't mean he's not embarrassed by it.
''I won't, Bucky; this will stay between us,'' you reassure him as you take off your boots before making your way over to the bed, where he's still waiting for what you're going to do next.
''So, you've wanted to try a little roleplay, huh? Well, you could have just asked me, and I would have happily said yes, silly boy,'' you tell him with a sensual voice.
You take slow steps towards the bed as you pull down the zipper on the front of your Tac suit, exposing your bra underneath.
''But first, do you want me to help with your not-so-little problem?'' you ask him, crawling on the bed and in between his legs before pulling the pillow away, revealing how he's still hard as a rock.
''Y-yes, please,'' he whispers, and without any hesitation, you bend down to give a few licks across his red, weeping tip to lick off the few drops of pre-cum that have gathered.
Your fist wraps loosely around the base, closing your mouth around his tip, sucking softly, and earning yourself a loud moan from your boyfriend that has your pussy clenching around nothing.
Slowly, you work more of him into your mouth and throat until your nose makes contact with his pubic bone, and you're gagging around his length. This turns out the be his undoing, and without so much as a warning, he shoots every last drop of cum into your mouth, letting you swallow every last drop.
''Fucking hell, Doll, you always know how to give a warm welcome-'' he tells you as he's softening and coming down from his high, ''- but now it's my time to give you the same.''
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The next day, you and Bucky discussed roleplay and your interest in trying it out. However, this is also when Bucky confessed he would like to be the one receiving the punishment and taking the sub role in this scenario.
Your discussion has led to you searching for an office you could use, which may have resulted in a somewhat awkward situation with Steve. See, you've been trying to figure out if any offices are available with a lock on the door, but you didn't want him to know what you would be doing there.
"So, about the office… Is there one available?" you ask Steve again. It's been about a week since you last discussed it with him.
"Well, there are plenty available, but I can't exactly assign an office to you without knowing what you're going to do there," he tells you, focusing intently on your face. You know he means well, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing.
"I have some- uhm- personal business? With… Well, with Bucky…" you say, your voice trailing off to a whisper, and that's when Steve finally puts two and two together. It's not about exactly what you would be doing, but it did click why you need an office with a lock.
"Oh! Well, uhm… Yeah! We have- I'll put you on the list; I'll let you know!" he says as his cheeks turn bright red, and with that, he storms off to try and not make the situation any more awkward. You quickly retreat to your bedroom to tell Bucky the excellent news, but you decide not to mention that Steve has an idea about what you will do.
A week later, you find yourself in the office Steve assigned you and Bucky. The door is locked so you two can avoid getting interrupted.
''Are you sure you want to do this? Because you know I'm okay with this, of course, but I care about your wellbeing too, Bucky,'' you tell him before you start.
''I'm sure, Doll. And I have my safeword if anything happens that I'm uncomfortable with,'' he reassures you. This does make you feel a little more at ease, and you need to get a few more things ready before your scene.
You've already changed into your outfit of a tight skirt that barely covers your ass, a white blouse that is about two sizes too small, your boobs and bra on full display, a pair of high stockings, and high heels. The entire look is finished with a high ponytail and your glasses.
''Ready, Baby boy?'' you ask Bucky when everything is ready, and when he notifies you that he's ready, you instantly switch into teacher mode. Suddenly, you're glad you've been a high school teacher for a few years before joining the Avengers.
''Somebody-'' you start with a raised voice ''- has gotten an F on last week's test. And because of that, they will receive a fitting punishment.''
Bucky's eyes instantly go wide at how you naturally slipped into your role. Between your authoritative tone and the way you look, he can already feel himself growing hard in his pants, and he has to adjust himself already.
This doesn't go unnoticed by you, and you walk over to Bucky, your heels clicking loudly on the wooden floor. You lean forward when you're at Bucky's table, and this only makes your boobs stand out more, making Bucky unable to look away from them.
You clear your throat loudly, and his eyes instantly snap up to yours, and he knows he's been caught. A deep red color appears on his cheeks and down his neck, and you can't help but grin at the sight.
''What's the problem, Baby Boy? Am I making you nervous by standing so close?'' you whisper in his ear after leaning in, and you are so close to him that he can smell the perfume you're wearing.
He bought it for you last Christmas, and you only wear it for special occasions. This occasion is very special, and his head reels from the thought.
You get back up, and he instantly misses you being so close, but that feeling is quickly gone when he watches you walk, the fabric of the skirt stretching slightly across your butt.
The sway of your hips has his mouth slightly agape and his hand reaching down to his crotch, palming himself over his jeans to give him the slightest bit of relief.
''Barnes!'' you say, and he quickly pulls his hand above the table. His eyebrows go into his hairline as he looks at you, and you turn around, sitting on your desk with your legs crossed.
''Come over here, Baby Boy, and I will give you your punishment now, so you won't have to go to detention later,'' you tell him, your glasses sliding down your nose as you playfully look over them.
He slides his chair back without hesitation, and before you know it, he's in front of you, the bulge in his pants very noticeable. He's enjoying this even more than you thought he would, and it makes you smile.
''For the first part of your punishment, I want you to sit on your knees, and eat this pussy until I tell you to stop, is that clear?'' you ask him, and he nods.
''Words, Baby Boy,'' you order, and he follows with a soft 'yes.'
''Good boy,'' you tell him as you spread your legs for him, and he sinks to his knees, his hands hooking behind your knees to pull you towards the edge of the desk. A soft gasp leaves your lips, and Bucky spreads your legs wider with his shoulders, opening you up for him.
The skirt you're wearing rides up to your hips, and when Bucky finds out you didn't wear panties for this, he lets out a deep groan. At this point, he's straining almost painfully against the confines of his pants, but since you didn't tell him he could touch himself, he hooks both arms around your thighs as he starts to eat you out like a starved man.
''Oh, fuck! Doing so well for me, Baby Boy,'' you praise him, and with that, he increases his pace even more, alternating between licking your clit and fucking your entrance with his tongue to get every last drop of your arousal.
He groans against your pussy with the praise, and you can never get enough of him eating you out like that. Your fingers are threading into his long locks before pulling him even closer, making your moans only louder.
''Use your fingers, Baby, use your fingers to make me cum-''
He doesn't have to be told twice because as soon as he hears the words 'fingers,' he is suckling on your clit, his fingers crooked inside your pussy.
Within no time, you're trembling as your legs are over his shoulders, your hand in his hair pulling him away as you're overstimulated and unable to keep yourself up at this point.
''F-fuck me, Bucky, fuck me until I can't fucking walk straight anymore,'' you tell him as he's worked you through your orgasm, and he's glad he can finally free himself from his pants.
After a few quick strokes, he's pushing himself into you, and you instantly clench down on him from the stimulation he's giving you. Once you've finally relaxed enough to let him in further, he slides in, bottoming out in one thrust.
The moan leaving your body is nearly pornographic, and it has Bucky going crazy, too. After getting adjusted to you and how tight you are around him, he leans forward and captures your lips in a soft, sweet kiss that is the complete opposite of the pace he's fucking you with.
With his metal arm, he rips your bra and shirt into pieces in a single motion, freeing your breasts from their confines and ready for him to play with. At this point, you know he's taken back all control, but you don't care; all you can think about is his cock deep inside you, hitting precisely the right spot.
''Need your fingers, please!'' you tell him, and his metal arm slides between your bodies, finding your clit without a single problem, while his flesh hand plays with your nipples, tugging and squeezing both in an alternating rhythm that only increases your pleasure.
Before you know it, you're falling over the edge of your second orgasm, and Bucky is following closely after, shooting his cum inside your pussy as he bends over and captures your lips in a passionate kiss.
Your arms are wrapped around his neck, and your legs are wrapped around his waist to keep him as close as possible. The two of you stay like that for a little while until Bucky goes soft, and he pulls out, ready to clean you up.
''So, how about that grade?'' he asks you.
''You deserve an A+ after that performance,'' you tell him, and after he's cleaned you up, you try to stand, but to no avail. Your legs give out immediately, and Bucky has done precisely what you asked.
''Here, take my shirt,'' he tells you as he pulls off his Henley before taking off the remaining pieces of your bra and blouse and throwing them in the trash for you. The soft material of the shirt feels warm against your skin, and Bucky lifts your bridal style, ready to take you to your bedroom.
You lay your head against his shoulder with your eyes closed, letting out a content sigh as you let Bucky take care of you. He makes sure all private parts are covered, and despite a few people giving him odd looks, Bucky keeps walking and giving you soft kisses on the crown of your head occasionally.
''I love you, Doll, and thank you for making my fantasy come true. Next time, I'll help you fulfill one of yours,'' he whispers to you before stepping into the elevator, and you fall asleep, getting a much-needed nap.
The elevator arrives at the floor of your bedroom quickly, and when the doors open, Bucky walks past Steve, who instantly turns bright red at the sight of his best friend holding you as you're wearing his shirt.
Steve turns around and quickly rushes into his bedroom to save himself from more embarrassment, though it is unspoken between all three of you that this will never be mentioned to anyone.
It's a good thing you left your bedroom door unlocked - your valuable stuff is always put away safely - and Bucky steps into the large room to put you on your bed without disturbing you.
When he pulls the comforter over you, he is just about to walk away to meet Steve, but you've woken up from the transfer, and you're not engulfed in his warmth anymore.
"Stay?" you ask him in a rough, sleepy voice, and he agrees. Right now, all he cares about is you, and Steve isn't capable of looking either of you in the eye after knowing what you did in that office.
For Bucky, though, this is truly a win-win situation. More time with you and the rest of the day to do whatever he pleases? It's like his dream come true.
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iluvusukuna · 4 months
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Yuji/sukuna x fem. Reader
Summary : you and your best friend Yuji need to work on a project together but Sukuna decides to take control and have some fun with you .
Cw: fem ! Reader. Charachter is a student at jujutsu high school. All characters are over 18!
A/n: English is not my first language so pls don’t be mean , if you find some incorrect things feel free to correct me;)
Warning : smut . Receiving Oral sex.
WC: 1.7k
🫧🎧: bathroom . Montell Fish
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You were walking to your dorm after classes when Yuji bumped into you with a big smile on his face . It wasn’t unusual to see Yuji so happy , but it made you furious sometimes. Was he really happy or did he just faked it . You were sure that it wasn’t easy for him to share his body with a curse . But he never complained. You both where really close it’s not like he didn’t tell you everything but he always tells you that he’s fine even though you say that you don’t believe him, he just changes the subject .
“Here!” He showed a strawberry milk in your hand even though you didn’t like it at all but it was he’s favorite so you drank it every time he gave it to you .
The last two weeks you avoided Yuji because Sukuna always makes and awkward comment about you and your body and it got out of hand the last time . But it seems like that Yuji doesn’t acknowledged it . Sometimes he acts as if he doesn't hear those comments, and other times he just makes fun of them, but the last time sukuna's comment about your short skirt was quite awkward for both of you, especially when he remarked that in such a short skirt he could easily slip a finger into your cunt or fuck you without anybody knowing . After this comment , the air was tick and embarrassing for both of you but you guys agreed to not talk about it ever .
Until your teacher assigned a partner project and Yuji was the first person to ask you too work together and how could you say no to this sweet boy , so you agreed hoping with everything in your body that Sukuna wouldn’t comment anything about you this time .
“So do you wanna work in mine or your dorm ?” Yuji asked still sipping his strawberry milk .
“Let’s do it in yours , your have more snacks and a better wifi too!” You looked at him and shook your head. “I’m hundred percent sure that the wifi is better there because you and Megumi are Gojo’s sensei favorite students , and he made something to make it better !
Yuji just laughed and talked about the things he and Megumi got away with because of Gojo sensei .
You both arrived at Yujis dorm , you took of your shoes and trowed your things onto the floor and laid down on his bed .
“To be honest I don’t have the will to do this project !” You sighed and looked at Yuji with pouting lips . “Let’s do it another time and just relax today , I’m too tired for anything .” You complained and got under his sheets . Yuji just laughed and sat next to you and pulled the sheets down from your body .
“Noo! Let me sleep!” But he didn’t stop you tried to get the blanket back, but he didn't give it so easily, he tore the blanket off your body and started to tickle you , and you burst out laughing. you tried to over come him and pushed him down on the bed. You where now on top of him your legs next to his hip but you two where to busy to acknowledge the awkward position you where in until you both heard an unpleasant voice .
“I’m sure this little brat enjoys your little cunt rubbing into his crotch!” You looked at Yuji his face reddens from sukunas comment and you back away from him . A mouth forms on yujis hand laughing and grinning at you .
“I hope I didn’t mess up y’all little game , but I could show you so much better and existing things !” Your face reddens even more after this but the mouth on yujis hand curls into a devilish grin .
“You should leave !” He stood up and opened his door . “Now!” He said it a little panicked this time . You locked confused but you stood up and walked to the door only to turn back because you left you phone on his bed . You grabbed your phone and walked out of the door when someone grabbed your arm.
“What….” Your blood drained from your body . Red eyes were looking back at you . Black tattoos covering Yujis body , sharp black nails digging into your skin .
“Hello little girl !” Sukuna grinned at you with his sharp white teeth .
“No…no! Let me go !” Your tried to get free from his grip but he was too strong for you . He closed the door with a loud bang and pushed you against it .
“Shh , relax little girl ! I’m not gonna hurt you unless you ask me too!” He stroked your face gently and then his hand glided lower, eventually stopping around your neck and wrapping it around you, squeezing it lightly, it didn’t hurt . It’s actually felt surprisingly good. You clenched your thighs together feeling your heat getting wetter and wetter . You hoped he didn’t notice anything of that but the smirk on his face told you otherwise.
“Looks like our little girl isn’t that innocent hmm?” He whispered and moved his hand lower on your body stopping at the zipper of your skirt . He slowly pulled the zipper down without taking his eyes of you . You didn’t stop him , you wanted him but you couldn’t. This new feeling held you captured and you just couldn’t. He pulled your skirt down leaving you only in your baby pink panties . It had a bow on it which caught Sukuna attention .
“Cute!” He noted . “But we don’t really need it do we ?” And with that he ripped your panties and trowed it behind his back . Your breath hitched in your throat , you chest moved up and down a little faster , you couldn’t decide it, was it because of fear or maybe something else?
You were pulled out from your thoughts when Sukuna’s fingers dipped into your slick . You let out a small whimper from the surprise of the contact but clapped a hand fast on your mouth .
“No , little girl let them hear you!” He grabbed both of your hands with his free hand and pulled them behind you making you arch you back.
“Tell me , has anyone touched you like this before ?” He asked dangerously close to your neck . You shook you head which made sukuna’s lips curl into a big smile .
“Hm that needs to stay this way because nobody should touch what’s mine understood ?” You nodded , which made him bite your neck .
“Words ! Use your words little girl !” He gave a little peck on the place he bit your neck and you whimpered an “yes I understand” out .
Sukuna smiled and let go of your hands and grabbed your hips . “You are such a good girl , and good girls get rewards isn’t that right ?” With that he led you to Yujis bed and pushed you down on it . Your tried to close your legs but he was faster and grabbed your ankles to open your legs even wider .
“Don’t try to ever hide yourself from me !” He commanded and with a small nod you relaxed your body .
Sukuna smirked and kneeled before you , he put his hands under your legs and pulled you closer , he was face to face with your cunt which made your face burn in heat .
“you should consider yourself lucky , because i never kneeled before anyone in my lifetime!” That was the last thing Sukuna said before connecting his tongue to your clit . Your arched your back and let your body fall down into the bed from the sudden and new felling . Your tried to push him away and close your legs but it only made him groan .
he circled your clit with his tongue, and collected your wetness and spread it everywhere. you were unable to say anything, only shameless whimpers left your lips which made him purr against your cunt .
“You taste amazing little girl , and your sweet moans . I can’t imagine why this brat never tasted your before !” This made your remember that this is Yujis body and you wanted to back away from Sukuna but he held you tight and he didn’t waste anytime , he dipped his tongue into your wet count which made you moan out loudly .
You knew that this was wrong and you should at least fight back , but this feeling was like a new drug to you , your where drunk from it and the only thing you could think of right now where sukuna’s tongue deep inside you cunt moving in and out with incredible speed.
“Suk..kuna!” You could feel it , you couldn’t describe the feeling but you knew you were close! “I’m so close please !” You begged but didn’t even know why .
“I know little girl , don’t hold yourself back and cum on me !” He said groaning against your heat .
That was the only thing you needed to hear, you arched your back and climaxed moaning his name in broken screams , your body shook from the orgasm Sukuna just gave you . He stood up and looked at your flushed face waiting for you to come down from your high.
After you relaxed you opened yours eyes . Two big red eyes were focused on you . You looked down on his lips , your eyes widened at the sight. Your cum dripping down from his chin his lips covered in your white slick .
You covered your head from the embarrassment but Sukuna just laughed and hovered over you grabbing your two hands pulling it over your head .
“We are not done little girl !” He said with an intense smile and moved his head closer to yours . His nose was touching yours . Now that you see him closer he’s absolutely beautiful. You knew what you wanted to do was wrong but you did it anyways . You closed the distance between you two and kissed him. He groaned from your boldness and deepened the kiss . You could taste your own wetness from his lips but you didn’t mind. After he broke the kiss you locked at him with a flushed face and puffy lips . He pulled his finger around your lips and stuck his thumb into your mouth .
“Let’s make a better use from this mouth shall we ?” He smirked deviously
“W…what about Yuji ?” You asked him restless because this was still your best fiends body .
“That brat can wait . I’m sure he doesn’t mind if I have some fun with you right ?” He licked his lips and pulled you close to him kissing you again eagerly . It’s not like you had a chose in this but if you had, you probably couldn’t say no to the king of curses .
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koolades-world · 4 months
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Helloooo it's me again back with another obey me request :)
Could I get the Demon bros with a depressed MC? I'm having a rough time rn and I just need some comfort but ofc feel free to ignore if u don't do requests like these!!
Have a nice day/night!! ♡☆♡☆♡
hi! of course! sorry I'm so late on this!!! also love your pfp (huge pjsekai fan)
Part of the reason I took so long is because I just didn’t know where to start
I love the demon bro I wanna squeeze them like a squishmellow and they’ve gotten me thorough some tough stuff
it's hard for me to articulate anything relating to depression just because I struggle to open up about it especially after my diagnosis. I don’t think anyone except my mom knows only because she was in the room at the time, and all you guys now of course haha
sorry if that was worded so weird and if anything below is worded weird but it’s just hard for me to find words to put together how I’m feeling but writing is my therapy so thank you for this request :)
Brothers with a depressed Mc
Lucifer
would def notice something was up right away from the first meeting, not because of how you acted, but just because it's Luci
once he officially found out, he made all arrangements needed right away
you need a few days off school? you got it, he's already talking to diavolo
you need a break from chores? you got it, he distributed the work among the rest of the family
there's only one thing you feel like eating? you got it, it's what everyone is eating for dinner
supportive in a quiet way, and does all sorts of little things to lighten the load
Mammon
as your first and best man, he acts as your knight and is willing to do anything to help you out
he tries his best to correct his own bad habits so you can work together on yourself
like, for example, if you struggle to get out of bed in the morning, he will get up and moving earlier so you can be up at the same time
nobody is perfect! he tells you this all the time because he knows how dark everything might seem sometimes
he partially understands how you feel since being the family punching bag for hundreds of years takes a toll on someone
he’s with you in every step of your journey, ups and downs, no matter what
Levi
he often has his own self deprecating thoughts, so he knows what you’re dealing with
everyone copes in their own ways but he hopes by sharing all the things he loves, he can bring some happiness
he shared everything with you, both his physical possessions and his thoughts
if you prefer to just sit together, he can do that, but if you want to talk about it, he will do his best to also share how he’s feeling
he wants you to be able to use him as a support system and as someone to fall back on
he always tries to bring a smile to your face and to be someone you trust, despite his own flaws
Satan
he shows you the little joys in life, the ones you might struggle or forget to see like sunsets and how the clouds change color with the sky, or how soft flower petals can be, or how a smile can change someone’s entire day
often he invites you out to places, for no reason at all so you can enjoy everything, especially the sun
he takes you on trips to the human world to visit your favorite places and occasionally see your favorite people if he’s allowed
he helps you with school work and takes the load when ever he can
if you asked him, he would do anything for you <3
Asmo
he always helps you out with your personal hygiene since often, that's what goes first
it's much easier to keep a routine if someone is doing it with you, and Asmo would never forget, so he help keep you on track
but, he's also not pushy about it. if you'll let him, he'll do some of the tasks for you, no strings attached
he's with you at your worst and best. he's not going anywhere
he's determined to be your personal cheerleader and will celebrate all the small things with you
Beel
at first, he's a little shocked at the changes in eating patterns, but supports you when ever and where ever you need it
if he knows there's only one food you will eat, he will physically restrain himself from eating it because he knows how much it means to you
exercise helps but he knows it's probably the last thing you want to do, so he helps you though little bits at a time and takes you out to get a reward afterwards
spending time with you makes him happy, so he figures it must be the same the other way around so he makes an effort to just be with you, even if its just sitting together while you do different things
often finds himself seeking you out just to ask how you are by instinct, proving what a sweetheart he is
Belphie
an interrupted or strange sleep cycle is something he would for sure notice
he becomes the biggest cuddle bug and will often give you sleepy kisses
when you're resting, he'll give you sweet dreams that will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy afterwards
he makes an effort to make the bed just how you like it, and before long makes it a habit to join you in your room for naps and bedtime
he doesn't mind if you wake up at weird time and will wait with you as long as you need to get up
thank you again for such the long wait! hope you enjoyed and hope you're feeling better now <333
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