#(I have a bunch of quotes I was gonna use for this but I'm gonna use them for incorrectsonicboom instead)

[oepionie]

—"POETIC RIZZ" various

SYNOPSIS: Horrible 3AM post—Just a bunch of random quotes/lines from various shows & books that i mixed together (Also diasomnia has the best rizz ngl)

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT RIDDLE ONCE SAID

"In vain, I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. One word from you will silence me on this subject forever. And so I beg you, most fervently, to relieve my suffering and consent to be my lover."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT DEUCE ONCE SAID

“This feeling has possessed me, I think and...I wanted to tell you that wherever you may end up in this world, I will be searching for you. I'm not afraid of anything now. I finally understand. I'm in love. We're in love. That means we'll meet again. I'm sure of it. ”

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT LEONA ONCE SAID

"I had not intended to love but now, I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. And I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll love you then. You're more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT RUGGIE ONCE SAID

“I love you but I know it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; I'm gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you; forever and everyday.—I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT AZUL ONCE SAID

"I desire more…than what's within my reach. Who blames me? Many call me discontented. I couldn't help it: the greed is in my nature. Please just bear with me. You pierce through my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT JADE ONCE SAID

"I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly.I long for you; I who usually longs without longing, as though I am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you. Moreover, you are the knife I turn inside myself; that is love. That, my dear, is love."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT FLOYD ONCE SAID

"I heard what you said. I’m not the sappy romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want seaglass or shiny pearls. I have all those things already. I want…you. A steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love you, and be loved by you."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT IDIA ONCE SAID

"My Persephone, I would have chosen you a thousand times over, the Fates be damned. Even if they unraveled our destiny, I would find a way back to you. All my heart is yours: it belongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest of me from your presence forever."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT VIL ONCE SAID

"Darling you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothing about the sort of love of which I am capable. Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own. Now, tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you, anyway. Yes, you make mistakes, are out of control and at times hard to handle. But if I can't handle you at your worst, then I surely don't deserve you at your best."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT ROOK ONCE SAID

"In beauty of face and soul, no maiden ever equaled you. If I were to be blinded the moment I laid eyes upon your incandescent form, I would not grieve, for in that very instance I have truly gazed upon everlasting beauty."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT LILIA ONCE SAID

"Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad. But I beg of you do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you. Oh, God..It is unutterable. I can not live without you in my life. I can not live without my soul. It is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT MALLEUS ONCE SAID

“I have little left in myself—I must have you. The world may laugh—may call me absurd, selfish—but it does not signify. My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.”

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT SEBEK ONCE SAID

"I am a gentleman. I have been raised to act with honor, but that honor is hanging by a thread that grows more precarious with every moment I spend in your presence. You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires."

WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT SILVER ONCE SAID

"I have a strange feeling with regard to you. On some days—I have dreamed and wished I was one of your tears. To be born in your eyes, roll down your cheeks, and to die on your lips."

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #deuce spade x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #silver vanrouge x reader #silver x reader

[societalenemynumberone]

Deadpool quotes but with my Lucifer's older sibling!reader idea-

Reader: [First day in Hell, in the middle of a fistfight] Have you seen this woman?

[holds up a bad crayon drawing of Charlie]

Sera: You've been warned, Reader. This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. You will be coming with us

Reader: Look, Sera, I don't have time for the goody two-shoes bullshit right now

Alastor: Do you have off an switch?

Reader: Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?

Reader; [after finding out about Charlie's existence] You're clowning. You're not clowning? I sense clowns

Charlie: Feeling a bit lonely?

Reader: Only sometimes when I'm by myself. Or other times when I'm with other people.

Reader: [First ever conversation with an awe-eyed Charlie] You're probably thinking, "My dad said that his older sibling is the second most just being in all of creation, but his sibling just turned that guy into a fucking kabab!" Well, I may be just, but I'm no hero. And yeah, technically, that was a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a platonic love story.

Reader: [to Sera] Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners in the Lord's Kingdom with some creepy, [points to Adam] Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker... on that day, [points to Emily] I'll send her shiny, happy ass a friend request

Reader [Helping in the second extermination]: Daddy needs to express some rage.

[starts firing their guns]

Reader: Listen, Angel, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the hotel - right next to the answer for getting out of a soul contract. Good luck.

Angel Dust: [Grinning] You fucking asshole

Alastor: Morningstar!

Reader: How can I help you? Besides luring women into dark, creepy basements.

Reader: [Just learned how to use a phone, looking at a text from Angel] What is that?

Husk: That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long

Sera: I've given Reader every chance to join us but they'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will they grow up and see benefits of joining the Angelic Council?

Emily: Which benefits? Commiting genocide for amusement? Or the Angel that falls every few decades?

Sera: Please, falling out of Heaven builds character

Reader: Superhero landing. She's gonna do a superhero landing. Wait for it...

[Lute jumps from the platform and lands]

Reader: [clapping their hands] Whoo! Superhero landing! You know, that's really hard on your knees

Charlie: [Stopping Reader from killing Valentino] I can't allow this, Reader. Please, come quietly.

Reader: You blonde cock-gobbler!

Charlie: That's not nice.

Reader: You're really gonna fuck this up for me? Trust me, that squeaking bag of dick-tips has it coming. He's pure evil. Besides... Nobody's getting hurt.

[a dead body falls off an overhead building]

Reader: That guy was already up there when I got here.

#hazbin hotel 2024 #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #deadpool quotes #incorrect quotes #hazbin hotel insert #hazbin hotel incorrect quotes

[viviennevermillion]

My boyo. He's so adorable but SOOOO deranged it's not even funny. Like how do you work for human traffickers to make up for your inescapable poverty, use your magic to turn people into puppets to sell, enchant them to participate in a whimsical musical number for no reason but your own personal amusement, tell the terrified victims over loudspeaker how shit you think they are, let yourself be enraged by a bunch of sassy high schoolers and then decide by the end of the day, to quote my dear friend Azul Ashengrotto, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!! How does one go from trafficking children to wanting to found a school for magicless children in the span of 24 hours. How do you manage to escape a probably exploitative work contract AND steal your bosses' property in the span of 24 hours with nothing but 1 madol and a dream? How's he going to fund this school? He apparently has to be worried about getting enough to eat. How do you just go "you're right, no more trafficking children, from now on I'm gonna commit to the good of humanity :)"

His lesson from the whole thing was "actually schools are good!" rather than "wow I feel so bad for all the people I probably sold :/"

There is not a sane bone in his body and no rational thought in his brain. His thoughts probably contain so much cursing that the sentences are unintelligible when you censor them. Everytime he speaks to a person he doesn't like, he internally adds "you mediocre little fuckshit pissbabies" or similar to the end of the statements. He has the most deranged evil laugh ever. Even when he likes you and you tell him a funny joke he goes "hehehahahaaAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH" like he's about to kill someone. He likes having his little ears scratched. He bites though.

He's like the biggest asshole cat you can mentally picture. He doesn't just push stuff off your shelves, he takes the vases and chucks them at unsuspecting pedestrians. He's mad at you and you ask him for a glass of milk and he takes the milk carton out of the fridge and pours the entire thing all over the floor and kitchen counters without breaking eye contact. There's a collection of knives on his bedroom wall.

He's my special little guy. They want to study him to update the DSM-5. He eats the rich. He needs some money to found his little school so he gotta work in retail, scanning the customers' products at checkout and muttering "fucking bourgeoisie cockroach" under his breath. Shamelessly lists "amusement park manager" and "salesman" in his CV as if he worked at a legitimate business. He once had a mental breakdown at the grocery store after closing hour and downed a bottle of whiskey straight from the shelf and then danced through the snack aisle stabbing his cane into the chips bags out of boredom while singing "you're never fully dressed without a smile". Gidel being mute is the only reason this kid does not curse like an uncensored Rapper version of Ebenezer Scrooge.

He's clinically insane. He's the most wondrous attraction at Playful Land. He hopes the afterlife is a musical. He's Fellow Honest. This is a fake name.

#twst #fellow honest #twst fellow #twisted wonderland fellow honest #twisted wonderland #stage in playful land

[chouettecrivaine]

Ah, Young Love! [Our Life: Now & Forever]

Fandom: Our Life: Now & Forever

Characters: Qiu Lin, Tamarack Baumann

Notes: takes place during Step 1, so he/him is used for Qiu as that is how he identifies at this point in the story!

So anyway I'm obsessed with how everybody wants Qiu but Qiu only has eyes for MC once they meet so I'm thinking about his silly little boyhood crush. And then I couldn't leave best girl Tamarack out of the love fest so here's just a few little things I was thinking about with them having childhood crushes on u <3

Note that only the demo is publicly available and I am not currently a patron so anything here that is proven true is coincidence and anything proven false is just me having a little fun

Qiu Lin

So like. I've seen Qiu call you pretty twice in the demo. Once when you meet him if you choose to call him pretty first, and again towards the end of what's available in the demo when he's listing off reasons why you should be allowed to join the club..

I just think that whenever he talks about you he always has to let it slip that he thinks you're cute. "They had on a really nice hair clip today!" "Their hair looked so cute when they took off their hat at school." "When I picked them up to walk to school, I was so surprised at how pretty they looked!"

When he told his parents about you he probably said "this really pretty kid surprised me in our yard and we went on a miniature adventure!"

Also (and note that my MC uses she/her so im gonna quote him using gendered terms but only for this one instance) When he's introducing you to one of his friends, he starts off with your name and says "she's a girl!" (Or whatever terms you have set)

So I just think he says the most basic facts about you with so much awe and wonder 🥺 like you wore overalls to school? He talks like you invented denim. You had a funny comment or joke? It's like he's never heard one before in his life when he retells it.

I feel like…the first thing that makes him interested in you is that you're new. Not only does this make you fun to mess with, but it makes you far more interesting than the people he's known his whole life. Plus you, unlike Tamarack, don't immediately brush off the cool things he wants to show you or do with you if it isn't immediately your cup of tea.

Darren and Baxter are sick and tired of hearing your name !! If you're not around Qiu wonders aloud at least once if he should or should've invite(d) you. If he did invite you and you had to decline, then he wonders what you're doing.

The type of kid to skip out on his weekend chores at home and go to your house to help you unpack instead

Ok so MC says they used to live in an apartment, right? Probably in the city? And MC was only allowed to play on their own because Golden Grove is "a safe neighborhood?" What if MC doesn't know how to ride a bike. What if Qiu teaches them…

Whether you get a hang of it or not, he daydreams about doing that thing where he rides the bike and you sit backwards on the seat or on the handlebars or something

When he finds out you can't ride a bike, he definitely shows off by riding around without his hands on the handlebars.

Will teach you how to jump off the swing set too, then will have competitions over who can swing the highest and leap the farthest

I feel like Golden Grove has a cute little main street with a bunch of locally owned shops. If you're interested, he'll show you every. single. business. Even if most of them are "granny shops" he isn't interested in. He'll let you poke around for a bit :)

He has a special page in his notebook for all the little notes and doodles about you

If you look closely at the note he gives you after class, you can see the remnants of a few tiny little hearts that he erased!!

Going back to him offering you to ride on his bike: he probably got you in trouble once because you were on your front lawn and he rode up asking you to go on an adventure with him on his bike. You're expecting a fun little 20 min ride through the walkable path in the woods that'll have you back home by dinner. Instead he takes you to town and buys you ice cream and the two of you have to struggle your way back up the hill on foot and it takes like an hour and a half to get back and your mom was worried SICK

Buys a pack of pens with one/some of your favorite color(s) and writes you notes exclusively in that/those ink(s)

If you and your mom go somewhere and he knocks on your door while you're out, you will come home to see him sitting on the steps to your front porch and waiting for you

Before class starts, he always gives you a funny face or a wave. If you come in late because of a doctor's appointment or something, naturally a lot of the kids turn to look at your entrance, and he immediately waves at you. Maybe even says hi to you out loud if he knows Mrs. Murray is in a good mood / he can get away with it.

If he finishes his work early or something, he'll turn around in his seat and just watch you from across the room with major heart eyes. He smiles wider and waves when you notice.

Anything you compliment him on, he immediately draws attention to around others. Say his hair looks good today? He'll hit you with a "oh but not every other day?" but then tell his seatmates about what you said.

Buys extra portions of his little snack bags of chips and candy or whatever he likes when he can so that he can give them to you during lunch.

Gets on a kick and will pester you about having a secret handshake until you let him come up with one. He likes having special things just you and him 🥺

Probably invites you to his hideout at a specific time and day every week and he gets soooooo excited for that time to roll around.

Tries extra hard in your favorite subject, even if it's one he hates. He's not trying to be top of the class, but he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care about something you care about!

If you like a class he's terrible at, he'll ask for your help! Or, if you struggle in a class he's good at, he'll volunteer to help you out even though he HATES the concept of doing extra schoolwork. That's how much he likes u

He'll do this with any windows but especially if one of your bedroom windows faces his: he will definitely pull a Taylor Swift in "You Belong With Me" and write notes for you guys to read to each other

Since he can't sit with you, he'll write you notes or make you doodles and then pretend he has to get up to sharpen his pencil so he can pass your desk and slip it to you

Tamarack Baumann

Tamarack will straight up just stare at you 👁👁

She follows you around like a lost puppy and visibly brightens up when you're around

Looks forward to school because she gets to sit next to you all day! Like she'll skip happily along the path with you and Qiu and you'll ask her if she's looking forward to all these things and she'll just go "No!" and when you finally give up and ask why she says "because I get to spend the whole day next to you!"

When she goes to play in the woods, sometimes she'll spend a while in the shallower end of the tree line waiting to see if you'll come outside and play with her

Has definitely thrown sticks and pebbles at your back door to lure you out before she gets bored

Likes to go around and pick up the coolest rock, the prettiest flower, the biggest piece of tree bark, a leaf the size of her head…then before she goes home for the night, she stops by your house and gives what she picked up to you!!

If you're not home then she leaves it on your porch with a note, usually held down by a rock if it's not something heavy 

She'll be over the moon if you give her cool rocks and stuff you found. Even if you're literally giving her trash, like if you ONLY give her bottle caps or pop tabs you find on the sidewalk, she cherishes them. Would make jewelry out of them tbh

Ok so quick tangent but there's a book I read in about 4th grade called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, and in it the love interest girl is the quirky type. One thing she has is a little decorative cart on her dresser which she puts rocks in every time she's happy and takes rocks out when she's sad. When the protag goes to her house and finds out, she explains how she has put the most rocks in it since meeting him. They kiss sometime after that and she puts another rock in and tells him about it. I think Tamarack would have a jar or a doll house bathtub and she would do the same thing, putting rocks in it when she's happy! So what I'm saying is give her plenty of rocks so she can exclusively use MC rocks for that 

Also will make matching jewelry for the two of you without even stopping to think if you even wear what she's making. She'll buy kits to make special rings and headbands, braid a million friendship bracelets out of multicolored string, use acorns she found to make earrings…anything! She is just as happy if you wear it then she is if you buy a jewelry display stand and show them off in your room. Eventually she adds keychains into the mix for some variety

Doesn't mean to spend a lot of her time waiting on you but she does. On weekends, instead of going directly into the woods, she'll just lie on her back in her yard and stare up at the clouds, completely still, daydreaming (about you) until she hears your door opening. Then she runs to you.

If any of your windows are open, particularly your bedroom window, she'll send a bunch of paper airplanes your way. Most of them make it! However, you've learned that if you find even one paper airplane inside, you're going to have to check that side of the house for more scattered on the ground

Grips onto your arms or your clothes whenever she can. You two are connected.

Makes a BIG effort to like anything that you like as much as you do! And when she follows you around, it doesn't really matter if you're doing something she doesn't care about. She just wants to spend time with you! It does make her whole week if you follow her into the woods, though.

She doesn't take notes in class, but you leave a writing implement out for her and sometimes she'll reach over and doodle a cute bear or something on your paper :)

If you say you're cold, she'll give you her scarf, no questions asked. Is also down to share but don't let her do that while you're walking because it WILL end badly 

Has wrapped the scarf around the two of you and tied you guys together before and yes it was the best recess of her life 

When walking, she tends to lean into you which sometimes almost turns into pushing you and Qiu into the road if you're not careful

Likes to drag you around places and pretty quickly invites you to her house. She doesn't tell her grandparents that she's inviting you over, so they're surprised by you almost every time, but they don't mind! She's dragging you up the stairs to her room too quickly for them to say anything anyway

#our life now and forever #our life now & forever #our life #qiu lin x reader #tamarack baumann x reader #qiu lin #tamarack baumann #☆ qiu lin #☆ our life #☆ olnf #☆ tamarack baumann #🐚 capricorn ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+{hcs} #🌠 pisces ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+{all writing}

[20genderchild]

he is SO real (transcription under cut) (also so people know RJ is very much playing an asshole interviewer character here like this is a comedy interview show)

RJ: You have said that you are on the spectrum and you're proud of it.

WILL: Yes.

RJ: I'm gonna read you a quote. "All of us autistic kids were so much better than regular normal people."

WILL: Yeah man.

RJ: "We can lock into s*** and do it. To all my autism kids out there, we're top."

WILL: Yeah buddy.

RJ: Are you shaming people without autism?

WILL: F*** yeah I am. [laughs] Yeah. Have you not got autism?

RJ: I don't have it, and now I feel bad about it!

WILL: You should. You should.

RJ: Why are we ascribing values? We're all unique in our own special ways!

WILL: Nah, nah, look, look. No, because in the school system, like, I didn't find out a lot about my, I didn't find out a lot about myself until like, after I left. So like, I wasn't afforded any of like, the extra time or like, extra, like... There were so many things in my education that I really needed help on, and I didn't get that help. And it's not just me, it's a f***in' wide bunch of people. So finding out all this s*** about myself, I just wanna show people that like, y'know, like, yeah I've got autism, I've got ADHD as well, I'm super dyslexic, I can't read, I had to have someone f***in' read my contract out for me. So like, it's super embarrassing man, it really is, but like, I feel like I've got to the point where I am because of all these things that I, that make me who I am, and I wanna inspire people. So like, a lot of people like, don't take risks on people that do have like, autism around my area, and like, I would like to hope that seeing me doing all this stuff, it does inspire other people.

RJ: And that makes you better than me?

WILL: Yes.

RJ: This isn't the neurodivergence Olympics...

#will ospreay #aew #all elite wrestling #hey ew #rj city #autism #autistic things #putting it in those tags cause I feel like even non wrestling fans would really like this

[starberry-cupcake]

This is a one chapter update because this chapter was 25 years long and I don't want my post to be also that long, even though you're all being super nice about it (thank you ♥).

previously, in harroweena the ninth:

this happened

now, chapter 6:

harrowbean wakes up and is taken somewhere in a wheelchair

we get no sleep in this ship

we get no face paint, no black robes, no sleep, no security from people who wanna suffocate you in your sleep, no explanations

lyctors need a union

as in unionization, not as in a combination of people, that they did when slurping their cavaliers

the person carrying her is very upset at everyone

turns out, she's a lyctor

her name is mercysomething

we have an ortus 2, a mercysomething and an augustine

harrow mentions eyes again and says that Lyctors "kept their own faces, but the eyes they stole from someone else. You had been lucky that your own transition was not as startling"

Lucky, you say...

I don't know about that

anyway, this mercysomething is supposed to be the saint of joy

I'm assuming lyctors are given their names through the ancient art of sarcasm

on that note

harrow: "if you had not of late become the Saint of Emesis"

me: wait, I gotta look something up real quick

me: yeah, that's funny

mercysomething is angry and in a hurry

a bunch of time is spent with mercysomething being angry and treating people like crap and being unpleasant

she's arguing with everyone she comes across and takes harrow to a hangar

yandere twin is sitting on a crate watching a necromancer make a ward with blood and bleeding to death in the process

harrow sits next to her and they are like sportscasters of blood-painted wards

according to the necrocasters, it's a ghost ward

yandere twin updates harrow on the fact that they're at war and they've been attacked and they're down to three Old Lyctors and two Baby Lyctors

it would explain why mercysomething is upset all the time

mercysomething wants to take the emperor somewhere else and the guy commanding the ship doesn't want to let him leave

emperor guy comes in and kind of does this to mercysomething

yandere twin and I are LIVING for all this pute/salseo/gossip/however you wanna call it

harrow isn't as interested

I complained in gideon because gideon wasn't interested in things I wanted to look into and now I'm gonna complain about harrow not being interested in Drama

emperor the fool says: "I know exactly who is behind this terrible blow, and they were fools to show their hand"

yandere twin and I

when emperor guy sees the necromancer bleeding out he goes "for fuck's sake"

it's a quote, not me being funny ha ha

remember when I said this guy is a mess?

that's becoming exponentially more evident

I want to punch him in the face at all times

I don't know how people can be respectful to this dude

the reason there isn't any face paint for harrow in this ship is that the emperor uses it every morning to paint on his clown face

they've been alive like 1000 years or whatnot and they're all a fucking group project going off the rails

so emperor guy, mercysomething, not!dulcinea (now in a coffin package), yandere twin and harrow get in a ship inside the ship

a smaller ship inside the big ship where the emperor has been for the past bunch of years

the small ship has the blood ward for the ghosts

but, before going in, emperor the fool fixes the necro that's bleeding to death

I honestly think she would have preferred to just die

which, same, if he was my boss

necros also need to unionize

cavaliers more than anyone tbh

if cavaliers unionized, idk if there would be any lyctors

emperor guy and mercysomething argue about people they know and we don't yet know

and mercysomething was telling harrow previously that the former ninth was prettier than her (anastasia, heart don't fail me now, courage don't desert me) and telling yandere twin the former third was prettier than her (cyrus? cyril? something like that)

which, absolutely juvenile behavior for someone who's like a 1000+ years of age or whatever

why would we care who she finds prettier????

ANYWAY, throughout this I was once again thinking

nobody here has G & P initials

it's been driving me mad this whole time

gideon and harrow found that former lyctor quarters

and it said "ONE FLESH, ONE END. G. & P."

that was before the note with gideon's name in it was read

and all this time I was thinking those were a set of necro-cav from the previous lyctors

but nobody here has those initials

the only P is the cavalier of Ortus 2 and there's no G

which is DRIVING ME MAD

if the G is the previous Gideon, the one not!dulcinea mentioned, it would explain why there was a note that mentioned a Gideon in the quarters

it would not, however, explain who the fuck that other gideon is, who P is and why they aren't in the list with the other combos

augustine is a former fifth because his cav's last name is quinque

mercysomething's from the eighth because her cav's last name is oct, and because she's annoying to be around

ortus 2 is from the second, because his cav's last name is dve

cyril cyrus whatev is from the third because the cav is trinit and mercysomething mentioned him to yandere twin, who is from the third

ulysses is from the fourth because the cav is tetra

not!dulcinea is seventh because the cav was heptane and because it was a very important thing in the previous book, as we've established

anastasia (dancing bears, painted wings) is from the ninth because the cav is novenary and she was mentioned to harrow

cassiopeia must be sixth, because it's what I have left, but I don't recognize the root of the last name to make a clear parallel from the top of my head

the emperor's guardian is A.L.

I'm taking note of an emperor's guardian who isn't around anymore

could it be ice cube barbie???? idk fam, she's looking at him a lot

giving me magic knight rayearth vibes again

this but with backstabbing instead of love

ANYWAY, all of this to point out that there's no G & P and it's driving me up the wall

now, to a very important thing

VERY IMPORTANT

for me, maybe it's just me

the enemies or whatever are called "remnants" and their leader apparently has been gone for "nearly 20 years"

this is me desperately making timelines with gideon's mom and gideon's birth and the 2 details I know about gideon's mom and her birth

you know what, I'm gonna quote, since I went to fetch it

"One day eighteen years ago, Gideon's mother had tumbled down the middle of the shaft in the drag chute and a battered hazard suit, like some moth drifting slowly down into the dark. The suit had been out of power for a couple of minutes. The woman landed brain-dead. All the battery power had been sucked away by a bio-container plugged into the suit, the kind you'd carry a transplant limb in, and inside that container was Gideon, only a day old."

I'm gonna just...put a pin on that that in the cork board

I don't know you guys, I'm just gonna

let me pin that

I'm probably being wrong a lot more than what I'm getting right but I'm just telling you what goes through my mind, if I'm making a fool of myself, it's too late to act like I'm not a fool

I am also putting my clown paint on like the emperor

MOVING ON

harrow thinks the emperor talks in plural about her at one point and idk if that's the case tbh

we then get emperor guy explaining how they need to go to their safe space base with a name I can't remember

a fancy name very lord-of-the-rings-y

let's call it emperor's mojo dojo casa house

and to get there as quick as they need to, they have to cut through the River

the one with the ghosties and ghoulies

that's what the ward was for

if they went through regular means, it'd take too long and, doing it this way, they could be there super fast, but they need to get in the River and come out the other way in the right spot

and intact

so it's this situation

so, in order to do that, they have to hold on to their souls and their cav souls and whatever they've got using the skills from the first test

I want to point out, once again, WHO PLANNED CANAAN HOUSE AS A TOOL TO GET LYCTORS TO LEARN THINGS?????

THEY WERE NOT DOING ALL THE TESTS

THEY WERE FIGHTING FOR THE KEYS

SOME DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE TESTS TO BEGIN WITH

JUDITH WAS LIVING IN LAW AND ORDER

we didn't even get to all the tests, people started dropping like flies

because the emperor had one loose lyctor who thought she was in a telenovela

ANYWAY

the point is, if they drift too far while crossing the River, something else can come into their bodies

we did learn that, because it happened to duracell bunny nephew back in canaan house

but we learned it because mayonnaise uncle thought he was tough shit and ruined it, not because of the tests

harrow, doing her best, thinks "you felt alone in your head"

WHICH IS GREAT for our gideon notes

also, no camilla mention or appearance in this one

(I'm having a lizzie bennet theme going on for Reasons for the time being)

so, we're leaving harrow and yandere twin trying to learn for the first time how to not die by crossing the River because the emperor plans things terribly and mercysomething is too preoccupied being upset at everything all the time

#luly reacts to tlt #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb #long post #gif cw

[ahgasegotarmy116]

He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Three

Summary: You feel guilty about having a night out and hope to cover up your tracks as best you can Pairing: f!reader x Jeon Jungkook Word Count: 2.1k~ Warnings: Yändere, smut, explicit language pretty much it lol a/n: I hope you guys like it! I'm literally horrible at writing smut but I wanted to show another side to how things can be with him sometimes (I'm saying him because I'm not gonna spoil it when you can just read it lol) regardless hope this doesn't disappoint 🫢 Requested by @kkusadmirer 💜

"Girl who was that?" Rae asks, when she walk over to my side of the bar after Jungkook left. 

"His name is Jungkook and honestly I don't really know much about him. He caught me off guard and was asking me a bunch of questions that I didn't really think to ask him any" I say, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "You think he's cute don't you?" she asks taking note of my shyer demeanor while thinking about him. 

"He is attractive and dreamy but I'm married" I say flashing the ring at her in a similar fashion as I had done with Jungkook. "Dreamy? Really?" she teases, snorting at my description. "I'm sorry okay he's the first nice guy I've actually talked to in a while since my husband and I got married" I say, resting my elbows on the bar and throwing my face in my hands. 

"From what I heard, doesn't really sound like he's all that good of a husband" she says, not bothering to spare my feelings. "He's not that bad" I mumble, scarcely believing my words with every effort I put in to defend him.

"If you've gotta say it like that after only two people have said otherwise I don't really think you've got much going for you" she says setting a glass of water in front of me, already seeing signs of a need to stop drinking for the night.

"I mean, he's all I've ever known. He was my first serious boyfriend, my first everything if I'm being honest. We met in college and really hit it off and everything just felt right. After we graduated he asked me to marry him and it felt like a fairy tale ending you know?" I say, swirling around the ice in my cup in an effort to avoid her gaze.

"Sounds like it didn't turn out the way you thought it was going to though" she says, clearly feeling sorry for me. 

"Things between us are fine" I say sitting back up and clearing my throat before taking a drink of water to hopefully help me swallow down this lump in my throat. Getting a reality check from two perfect strangers with them only knowing the tip of the iceberg of my marriage has been hard to accept to say the least. 

"What's his name anyways? I might've seen him before if he likes to go out sometimes" she asks, coming back over with a pitcher to fill up my water, encouraging me to drink more. 

"Taehyung, well Tae for short" I say, hoping and praying that the name won't ring a bell. "Got a picture of him?" she asks, leaning in closer when I pull out my phone. "Shit" she says under her breath as soon as she sees him. 

"What?" I ask pulling it back as though her words had stung me. "He's come here a few times with some friends of his. They're one of the rowdier groups that comes by so we've had to kick them out on occasion" she says clearing her throat at the end, almost as if she's trying to hold something back. 

"If you know anything else about him please tell me" I implore, refusing to be in the dark about this if she knows. "He's gone 'home' with a few girls here" she says putting home in quotes since he's obviously never brought them back to our place. "Do you know how many?" I ask, knowing that I really don't want to know the answer. 

"I've lost track..." she answers, hating that she had to be the one to reveal this to me. "Did you know?" she asks with her brows pinched together. "That he's been sleeping around? Yeah, I know" I say taking a big gulp of my water as if it were the solution to this fucked up life I'm living. 

"Why haven't you left?" she asks, genuinely concerned. "He's my husband" I say with glossy eyes but then clear my throat again to hopefully curb these emotions. "And? He's a dick" she says, continuing with her efforts to never pull punches. "You don't know him like I do" I say, standing up and grabbing my purse to go. 

"Just, be careful okay?" she implores, placing her hand on top of mine before I get too far. "I will" I say and give her a sad smile before walking out and waiting for the cab I called a few moments ago. 

~~~~~~

Walking into the house I'm relieved to see that Taehyung is no where to be found, the lights still having been turned off from when I had locked up. 

Taking off my shoes, I quickly put them in the closet in an effort to quickly cover my tracks and I run into the bedroom soon after that. I take off my clothes and throw them into the washer to again avoid any suspicions because I don't want him even remotely knowing that I managed to leave the house on my own again.

Walking into the bathroom to take a shower as well I see that somehow some of the makeup I had applied rubbed off and I was unknowingly sporting one of the hickeys Taehyung had left. I look at it in the mirror a bit closer, starting to wonder how long it's been showing. 'Did Jungkook see it?' I question,  really hoping the answer is no even though he knows I'm married, it's not something I want to show off.

It could've been worse though, he could've seen the other bruises I have that clearly show evidence of much more than just rough sex. 'How would he have reacted? Would he have said something?' I continue, asking myself question after question, soon starting to regret my decisions of going out tonight. 

Did I have a good time? Sure. But it doesn't make up for the amount of fear and guilt I'm going to feel if Taehyung finds out. Will he do something? Will he get angry? Will he leave? Knowing him he would accuse me of cheating on him even though I'm the one who confirmed my suspicions. 

He, like Rae is someone that doesn't pull punches literally and figuratively. It's something that I've leaned to live with, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

"Hey" I hear him say softly while opening the bathroom door, scaring me and not even realizing how lost in thought I had been. To the point of not even realizing that he had gotten home. 

"Hi" I say timidly, not knowing what his next move might be. 

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he questions in a mischievous tone, already taking his shirt off. I open the glass door as a way to invite him in and I hold out my hand waiting for him, knowing I really have no choice in the matter. 

"Hi beautiful" he says after getting in, placing his hands on my hips and leaning down to kiss me softly on the lips. I sigh into the kiss, thankful he's back home again and showing his softer side to me again, clearly trying to make up for how we had left things the last time we saw each other. 

"I missed you" he says in a husky voice leaning down further to place a few open mouthed kisses on my neck marking me again, no doubt to make up for the ones that had started to fade. "Missed you" I say through a breathy tone then my breath hitches moments later when he bites down on my shoulder.

"You smell so sweet baby" he says running his nose along the length of my neck before making his way back up to kissing me. "It's my" *kiss* "new" *kiss* "body wash" I say, trying my best to answer but he purposefully works against me, loving the struggle I put up.

"I like it. Buy it again for me when you run out okay? I want my pretty wife smelling like this all the time" he says before flipping me around and pressing my chest agains the wall.

"You gonna be good and let me take you in here?" he asks grinding his dick against my ass making my breath pick up, not expecting this drastic change in behavior. I nod my head with my cheek against the tiles. He presses his chest flush up against my back, pushing me up against the wall even harder, making my chest feel sore as my nipples rub up against the cool surface, making me whine from the sensation.

"Aw look at you, so needy and ready to be full" he say, leaning back a bit and running his finger along my slit, feeling how I'm already clenching around nothing and dripping with arousal as the water falls on my back in a steady stream. "Fuck you look so hot right now" he says looking at my face and dragging his eyes down my figure before spreading my legs a bit and making moves to put it in. 

"Wait" I whimper. "Don't worry, you can take it" he says, placing a kiss on my shoulder before sliding the tip in and making me take in a sharp breath at the intrusion, him continuing to push himself further and further inside until he's bottomed out. 

He enjoys the feeling of my walls spasming around him as I feel the burn from trying to get used to him again. It isn't like this often, he usually loves to take his time prepping and teasing me until I'm begging for more but he had an almost urgency to be inside me this time. 

"Fuck" he says as he starts to move in and out of me, watching the way my ass moves with every thrust and is addicted to the moans that come from me naturally, being caught off guard by all of this and not expecting this to happen tonight. 

"Feels s-so good" I say, clawing at the walls for something to hold onto, knowing there's nothing there for me. He takes notice and he places his hands on top of mine, thrusting in and out with only his own hips supporting mine as he growls in my ear. 

"Been dying to fuck this pretty little cunt all day. Then I come home and you're in the shower making it so easy for me to just slip it in, practically begging for my cock" he says as he slows down his thrust but puts more force behind each one. 

"Isn't that right? You just want to be good for me and take it, let me have my way with you" he says pulling out and flipping me around, enjoying the dick drunk look on my face. He lifts one of my legs up and wraps it around his waist, pounding into me harder making me grab onto his neck and pull him in for a kiss, silencing my moans, making him swallow them as he coaxes more and more out of me. 

"S-shit" he stutters and tells me to jump, wrapping my other leg around his waist as well so he can thrust into me harder. I clench around him when he wraps his mouth around one of my sensitive buds, hard and begging for stimulating. 

"Fuck, more" I whine, desperately needing release. "You wanna cum?" he taunts, letting go of my throbbing bud with a pop. "Tae please" I moan digging my nails into his shoulders. He groans at the feeling and grips onto my waist digging his fingers into them, no doubt leaving bruises.

Giving me a few more thrusts he has my eyes rolling back and my toes curling as my orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks with him still fucking into me, helping me ride it out before he cums a couple minutes later. 

Slipping out and sliding me down the wall and back on my feet he leans up against me while our breathing mixes with the sound of the water still falling all around us. He places a few soft kisses on my shoulder before pushing off the wall and placing both of his hands on my cheek, kissing me softly, helping me slowly come back down and leaving my my mind foggy and drunk on him. 

"I love you" he says when he breaks apart from my lips. "I love you too" I smile, humming in contentment and feeling so good, loving that despite everything he loves me no matter what. 

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#jungkook fanfic #kpop #fanfiction #fanfic #bts jungkook #kpop fanfic #bts #jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook bts #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung bts #taehyung #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x you #taehyung x oc #bts angst #angst #tw yandere

[honey-stars12318272]

just a bunch of incorrect criminal minds quotes

—————————————————————————————————— Morgan : Reid and I are no longer friends.

Reid: DEREK THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL

PEOPLE THAT WE'RE DATING!

——————————————————————————————————

Reid: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Morgan: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

——————————————————————————————————

Prentiss: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.

Hotch: Please never become a surgeon.

——————————————————————————————————

Reid: BE A BETTER PERSON!

Morgan : WHY?!

Reid: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

——————————————————————————————————

Reid: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Morgan : I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Reid: But you're always acting stupid?

Morgan : …

Morgan : Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

——————————————————————————————————

Morgan : My hands are cold.

Reid: Here, let me hold them.

Morgan: My lips are cold too.

Reid: *covers Morgan 's mouth with their hand*

——————————————————————————————————

Reid: Wow, Morgan, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Morgan : We literally slept together yesterday.

Reid: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

——————————————————————————————————

Morgan : You got a date yet Reid?

Reid: No...

Morgan : Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

——————————————————————————————————

Reid: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn't anyone around to help you? What if it's congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Morgan : …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

——————————————————————————————————

Morgan : Reid is playing hard to get.

Morgan: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

——————————————————————————————————

Morgan: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.

Reid: Hi, I'm 'things'.

——————————————————————————————————

Hotch : You know, Morgen gives Reid flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Rossi: Okay?

*Later*

Rossi: *gives Reid flowers*

Reid: ???

Rossi: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

#cm incorrect quotes #moreid #spencer reid #derek morgan #derek morgan x spencer reid #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #david rossi #aaron Hotchner x David Rossi platonic #platonic relationship #emily prentiss

[moths-are-better]

one time I stockpiled a whole bunch of incorrect quotes and I think I should finally post them

Eva: Why are you on fire?  Dally: This is just how my day is going.

Eva: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.  Yugo: Eva, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

Eva: How the hell are you still alive?  Ruel: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

Adamai : Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

Adamai : What goes up but never comes down?  Eva: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

Yugo, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Yugo: Is that a gun?!  Amalia : It's not what it looks like!  Yugo: It looks like a gun!  Amalia : Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore.  Yugo: ...ANYMORE?!

Adamai , singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice  Amalia , also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

Adamai : Can I borrow five dollars?  Yugo: If you’re only borrowing it, does that mean you’ll pay me back?  Adamai : Of course.  Adamai : Not directly, but with my love and affection.  Yugo: So that’s a no.

Adamai : STOP!  *Everyone stops*  Adamai : wAiT a MiNuTe-

Cop: What are your names?  Yugo: Don't tell them, Amalia .  Cop, writing: Amalia ...  Yugo: Crap.  Amalia : Nice going, Yugo.  Cop: Amalia : Uh oh.

Adamai : That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!  Yugo: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!  Adamai : Adamai : What?  Yugo: I need to feed my Neopets!

Ruel: You know, I used to play back in my gory days.  Dally: You mean glory days?  Ruel: Ah, that too.

Yugo: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Amaila: What's that? Yugo: Remorse code. Amaila: I'm even angrier now.

Yugo: Amaila and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-  Amaila: Sentences.  Yugo: Don't interrupt me.

Yugo: What’s up guys? I’m back. Amaila: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Yugo: Death is a social construct.

Amalia : You're violent.  Yugo: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

Yugo: Amalia and I are no longer dating.  Amalia : Yugo, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Yugo: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Amaila: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Yugo: How petty can you get? Amaila: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Chibi: You need a hobby.  Yugo: I have a hobby!  Chibi: Hitting Quilby isn't a hobby.

Eva: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Dally and I are dating.  Dally, Adamai, Amalia , and Yugo: *gasp*  Eva: Dally, why are you surprised?!

Amalia : Dally! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.  Dally: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

Amalia : Dally, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-  Dally: Aww, thanks-  Amalia : But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

*Dally is fighting a monster*  Adamai: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!  Dally: The power to believe in myself!?  Adamai: No, a knife! Stab it!

I have more so I’ll post them eventually

#I’ve had some of these for months #wakfu #ankama #wakfu yugo #yugo wakfu #wakfu amalia #eliatrope council #wakfu s4 #Wakfu incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #wakfu dally #wakfu tristepin #wakfu percedal #wakfu evangelyne #amalia wakfu #amalia sheran sharm #wakfu yugo x amalia #yugo #yugo sheran sharm

[tubbytarchia]

Just a bunch of Doc and Jimmy thoughts as to why I find them so appealing and endearing. I wanna draw them more but regardless I have too many thoughts on them to ever visualize them all. It's a lot and very self-indulgent. This is your warning TLDR Jimmy in a father/son type of dynamic (as opposed to a romantic relationship) would do him good and Doc would be very perceptive and gentle and awesome about it

These are pretty much all reliant on a hypothetical scenario in which Jimmy is on Hermitcraft (after Secret Life?), temporarily or permanently or accidentally etc. I'm also gonna refer to Jimmy's relationships with Tango, Scott etc as romantic just for clarity

- Firstly I don't mind them as a ship, its all cool with me (cause I know at least a few of you ship them haha), but to me their absolute main appeal is the fatherly aspect. It being a father/son dynamic eliminates so many of Jimmy's struggles off the bat - ones that are prevalent in his romantic connections, mainly the inherent anxiety and inability to open up to his partners as a result (at least fully)

- Because of said anxiety, none of Jimmy's partners up to this hypothetical unexplained point of time would fully "get" him. Even if Jimmy trusts them, he's been conditioned to see himself as the faulty link by default and the people around him, however good they are and however much they COULD help, aren't the type to pick up on or be able to understand exactly what he needs (Tango's rather oblivious, Martyn's hot-headed etc), and Jimmy isn't exactly going to tell them in the headspace that he's in, he doesn't know how to. Yet Doc has had one, ONE notable interaction with him, and in that one interaction, even as Jimmy's just jokingly calling for Etho, Doc immediately and immaculately picks up on what Jimmy needs: "I want to take you into my hands and take you to a safe place"

- There's a quote(?) exchange that goes "You're free, (referring to a bird whose gate has just been opened), why don't you fly away?" followed by the bird "the cage is all I know". Sorry to use some "I'm 14 and this is deep" quote but that's just Jimmy. He needs time and gentleness, and a safe place that'd allow for that. A safe place to heal until he's ready to step out into the world of his own accord. He's helped out of the cage with patience and understanding, not by pushing him. Where Doc understands to be patient, some of Jimmy's partners post-3L would push - of course just trying to help but failing to grasp Jimmy's needs fully - or fail to realize there's (still) a cage there at all. Sorry what are we talking about again

- Add-on to the above points: Doc being able to pick up on Jimmy's wants and needs without verbalization. He'd be able to offer Jimmy desired comfort, and, comparing to Tango for example, without their time necessarily being cut short and without the failure to recognise that it's something Jimmy continues to need. (I've said it before but Tango's oblivious, and that's partially why he and Jimmy work well together, but it also means that he doesn't pick up on everything, especially when not near and soulbound to Jimmy, and by virtue of being a romantic partner, Jimmy's too anxious to ask for help too, because of previous relationship experiences). Doc would pick up on it all though, eliminating Jimmy's need to explicitly ask for help, because that's the one thing he's not able to communicate however desperately he's needed to to kickstart any kind of healing

- We all know how Doc gets when he's being a dad so. This father/son dynamic only means more softness and gentleness from Doc you know... Again, something Jimmy is in desperate need for!! And what he's gotten from people like Tango as well, but once again, this isn't a romantic relationship so Jimmy's feelings about physical affection are a bit different. Doc would have the utmost mindfulness of approaching Jimmy in any physical touch scenario though and never push or pressure. He always watches out for signs of discomfort, and will hardly touch him if he thinks that there's a chance it could upset Jimmy further. He understands that Jimmy needs time and patience and he doesn't want for him to draw more into himself, thus reversing any progress they might've made, especially if in Jimmy's current mindset, an even remotely unwanted approach could make him feel unsafe. If there are defenses that he's learned to and needs to keep up, then Doc won't take that away from him and give him space as needed

- When Doc IS to offer physical touch and such, he'd still have the utmost gentleness and pay attention to where he's situated near Jimmy just so he can ensure that he's using his organic arm to pat him or to have the organic half of his face towards him, not only to minimize intimidation but to also put them on more equal footing - If Doc can just look over and read Jimmy's eyes at any moment, he wants Jimmy to be able to see his too to help him feel more comfortable (and thus encourage opening up)

- Back to the "safe place" thing specifically, Doc would totally take Jimmy under his wing and thus also into his base - his huge and scary full-of-machines barely-resembling-a-house-to-any-degree base. Jimmy would be naturally intimidated by Doc and his base in kind, but just as he grows more used to big scary goat man, he grows more used to big scary goat man base. He'd be intimidated but not past the point of intrigue, and combined with his need to prove himself, Jimmy would very much try to study Doc's machines and learn the layout of his base etc. I'm tickled by the idea of no one understanding Doc's base as per usual, except this one lost guy he took under his wing

If Jimmy were to mess anything up (he inevitably would I'm sure) Doc would be all grumbly about it in the moment but never hold a grudge towards him. And Jimmy would either flee but quickly return and/or be very insistent on making it up to Doc, which Doc would refuse because there's no need

- Again, with Jimmy's need to prove himself but also out of genuine interest, Jimmy would very much try redstone whilst at Doc's. He'd ask Doc to be honest and not to praise his work just to be polite, but Doc would believe in him and find his efforts genuinely endearing and worthy of praise for the work that he'd have put into it. Not once would he have complimented Jimmy's work without meaning it. I don't think he'd be able to live with himself if he stooped to disingenuousness like that (though Jimmy wouldn't know that)

- Doc would be protective and rightfully so. If he were to see Jimmy bullying becoming too prevalent, he'd very much step in to say that that's enough of that. He might tease Jimmy a little himself, very lightheartedly, but otherwise not find much comedy in it. And we all know how he holds grudges if he's to single anyone out for going over the line... Jimmy would be opposed to Doc calling anyone out or anything of the like and Doc very much wants to respect Jimmy's wishes but... There's no way he isn't going to speak his mind at least out of Jimmy's earshot

- Doc has always understood that Jimmy's in need of help, but of course he can only entail so much without hearing it from the man himself. And when Jimmy does inevitably open up, Doc would be totally taken aback by the amount of things weighing on Jimmy's heart, and just out of disbelief he'd go "and you haven't told anyone??", which may make Jimmy curl in on himself a bit, but Doc would be quick to reassure that he's not questioning Jimmy's actions nor blaming him for bottling his feelings up, merely expressing sadness that Jimmy hasn't felt like he could tell anyone up until now. Doc would remember everything he's told with precision and keep it all in mind constantly. Very self indulgent but for example, Jimmy having felt the need to dress up as a maid as payback just to stay on SOS would make Doc pay even more attention to any potential signs of discomfort in Jimmy presenting himself to others or feeling pressured to do something etc

- Before reaching the point of being able to open up, Jimmy would inevitably tear up at some point when he gets stuck thinking about just how kindly he's being treated for whatever reason that remains a mystery to him. Even if he tried to hide it, Doc would immediately notice the unusual body language, or something like his headwing moving to cover his face. And he would become very panicked lol, quickly reassuring Jimmy about whatever he thinks caused the reaction, like his redstone attempts for example, only for Jimmy to be unable to express why he's really crying, but at the very least Doc would understand that there's more to it and will just do his best to comfort him regardless

- Jimmy has and will absolutely call people his dad as a joke, but when he inevitably refers to Doc as such by accident, he'd become embarrassed about it. It'd be awesome and cute I think

- Ok so Hermitcraft, of course Tango's there!! And with no death game looming over his or Jimmy's heads. Still, that doesn't erase Jimmy's anxiety even when he opens up to Doc about it. Doc would offer suggestions for how Jimmy could approach Tango (And maybe Pearl too), but if Jimmy expresses his inability to do so because of anxiety and such, then Doc will let it go and just comfort or reassure him for the time being instead. He'd ask if he should talk to Tango all menacing and Jimmy would be vehemently opposed to the idea lol. Doc would probably still take it up with Tango at some point and Jimmy wouldn't find out until much later into him and Tango talking again, at which point he'd become embarrassed that Tango had to deal with that (but of course there would have never been any malice involved and Tango can easily laugh about it). Added drama if we go with the idea that Jimmy's time on HC is limited which would only stress him out more about talking to Tango

- Doc would pay so much attention to Jimmy's wings' welfare. He'd ask Grian and do all kinds of research on his own too to make sure they're properly cared for whilst fully understanding their personal importance and potential intimacy that caring for them entails, giving Jimmy whatever space he needs whilst still keeping an eye on his wings. In a different hypothetical scenario where Doc is in the Life series and not much else is changed, he'd take note of Jimmy's wings being clipped (3L, LL), then growing (DL, LimL), and then becoming ragged (SL, with Jimmy's increasing hostility, restlessness etc)

- You are insane for reading till this point. Take my hand, we can be insane together

#blabber #shak's doc&jimmy thoughts

[deadlysoupy]

Bumblebee and Freedom

there's probably a really cool quote about freedom out there. i'm just gonna say how i define freedom, and maybe someone out there knows if it correlates with anything that already exists

"freedom is the ability to choose"

to me, that's the perfect and down-to-earth definition of freedom. it's not a will to express yourself, because that's not enough, it's not having rights, it's not not-having a government, etc

earthspark!Bumblebee strikes me as a person who was denied his freedom. he has moments where he actively chooses what to do next, how to act in this situation, how to approach it. but in the narrative, he's constantly belittled, put in a corner, and just talked down by and ordered to simply do this thing

even before the events of Earthspark this seems to be a reoccurring theme with him: Breakdown, on their first meeting in who knows how long, says a very neat line after Bee's "Just like old times": "Before you let Optimus get between us". this makes me think that Optimus probably convinced Bee to join the war in the first place, whether because they knew each other prior (doubtful), or after the war started Bumblebee showed promise and Prime decided to teach him, instead of letting him die on very hostile streets of Iacon

he was forced to go into hiding. i doubt he chose it, because there are so many capable bots for spying - Jazz, Mirage, etc (ironically i can't remember more than these two lmao). he was just as affected by the Allspark incident as everyone else, but because Optimus trusted him (probably) the most, he decided that Bee was the perfect bot for staying away for a time to deliver him info he needed, as a backup in all this GHOST business

to be fair, i'm sure Optimus didn't think this whole deal would take this much time - and Bee was forced to be in hiding for 15 whole years. it must have been a lonely existence. we assume he still had contacts with some bots - OP, Megs, and Elita-1 more prominently, and Wheeljack doesn't seem all too surprised to see him, but it's still not enough for a happy-go-lucky bot like Bumblebee. especially considering his age - but i digress

and still - he had no choice when Optimus pulled him out of hiding to look after a bunch of newly-builds. it's the whole point of the third episode. and he has no choice but to accept his mentor position, and he learns to care about the Terrans, too, but the point still stands

he had no choice but to trust Breakdown as they raced towards GHOST agents, he had no choice but let Breakdown sacrifice himself for him. if he could, he would change it, he probably would take his place, too, because that's his brother and it's his fault, but he can't, because he has other people to take care of - he has no choice

in fact, most bots in the show don't have much choice too. the Terrans, especially, who have no choice but be a representation of Hope for Cybertronian race. which is why i think Bumblebee fits into their little cosy family like a glove

tldr; when you look for the theme of freedom in Earthspark, it seems to be always in the air, and honestly, i love it. this may be all a little exaggerated, but whatever. if you found any points wrong in my lil speech, you can totally tell me, sometimes i just forget stuff lmao

#transformers earthspark #transformers #earthspark #tfe #bumblebee #tfe bumblebee #soups walkie talkie #mine

[viktormaru]

as a lover of games that are hell and make u feel pain and suffering i often think abt the topic of the last post i reblogged

like... i remember seeing a guy posting on reddit like "hey, im enjoying dark souls a lot rn but i have kids and a job and dont have as much time to learn it as id like and i'm stuck at this part, does anyone know any ways to cheat or make my characters stronger so I can finish the game" and a bunch of gamer dudes just replied with a bunch of inspirational quotes about learning from defeat and never giving up but its like... dudes... the guy already got the gist of the game... he understands the philosophy he just doesnt have the time.... give him the fucking cheat so he can see the rest.... like damn!!! damn!!!

that guy is not gonna be like "oh dark souls is boring bcs its too easy i never die to anything" he knows already!!! he knows hes cheating!! its fine!!! he can still enjoy the world and the boss designs and stuff in a way.

As long as you're aware youre missing stuff by using easy mode or walkthroughs or hacks or savescumming in sigle player games... youre totally fine doing so!!!!!!! you PAID FOR HTE GAME ALREADY!!!! you can enjoy it however you want man... guiltless, just do ur thing, have fun. be free.

#some games do make you feel bad on purpose and its amazing! #but sometimes u just wanna get to the end and that requires cheating yes but no one is stupid enough to think the cheated experience is the #fucking default one guys come on... leave them be #not to mention ppl who think grinding the dumb hard version suddenly makes them superior than others are annoying af like congratulations

[crowinthewoods]

A bunch of incorrect quotes just cuz I'm bored and these are funny. I might have went over board and no I'm not sorry.

Jon: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Gerry: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Jon: Yeah, they're all birds.

Gerry: What’s up with you?

Jon: What do you mean?

Gerry: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

Gerry: *makes Mike a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Mike: *sips tea*

Gerry:

Mike: *finishes tea*

Gerry: Didn't it taste bad?

Mike: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Gerry, tearing up: Oh, okay.

Tim, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Gerry: …

Gerry: What’s in the box?

Tim: What woul-

Gerry: Tim, what’s in the box?

Tim: I think you know.

Jon: What did you two do?

Mike:

Tim:

Jon: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Gerry: Why would I flip my shit about that?

Tim: Because you flip your shit about everything.

Gerry: Well, will you look at this. Here is my shit, and yet it remains unflipped. Just sitting there on the skillet, getting burned on one side. It’s a miracle.

Jon: Mike, we're hungry!

Gerry: Mike! What's for dinner?

Tim: We're hungry, Mike!

Mike, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Tim, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Tim, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Tim: Somebody moved my M&amp;M's, and now I am going to start killing.

Jon: If you water water, it grows.

Mike: ...What.

Tim: They've got a point.

Jon: What are you two arguing about this time?

Mike: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Gerry: Cry me a table, Mike.

Jon: *Locks Mike in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.

Mike: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

Jon: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Mike, used to Jon being dumb: Sure...

Jon: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Mike: Okay?

Jon: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Mike:

Jon: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Mike: Jesus, that one is a little-

Gerry, interested: No, no, Jon, keep going.

Tim: Gerry? What are you doing here?

Gerry, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.

Jon, texting Tim: I’m a theif.

Tim: Thief.

Jon: Theif.

Tim: I before E except after C.

Jon: Thceif.

Tim: NO.

Mike, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

Jon: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.

*at a zoo*

Daisy: What are they in for?

Not Sasha: Daisy, this isn't prison.

Daisy: So they can leave?

Not Sasha: No, but-

Daisy, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Daisy: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.

Kevin, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.

Not Sasha, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.

Kevin: Coming right up.

Daisy: As you know I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.

Mike: Where am I on the list?

Daisy: Well I can’t tell you that because then you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.

Daisy: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Not Sasha: And?

Daisy: And you are.

Kevin: A banker? Me?

Melanie: Yes, Kevin.

Kevin: But I don’t know anything about running a bank!

Melanie: Good. No preconceived ideas.

Kevin: I’ve robbed banks!

Melanie: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside.

Tim: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Mike, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Gerry: Awww, why don't you like cats, Daisy? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love??

Daisy: I don't know Gerry, I just prefer to be conscious instead of dead on the floor.

Gerry:

Daisy: I'm ALLERGIC.

Tim: Made you all playlists!

Tim: Gerry, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Tim: Kevin, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Tim: And Melanie has the ABBA Gold album.

Not Sasha, excitedly: Heeyy!!

Daisy: Hey, someone's excited.

Melanie, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

Daisy: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Martin and Jon's convo?

Gerry: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Tim: I'm in the washing machine.

Mike: I'm in the closet.

Gerry: We accept you Mike. <3

Mike: No I'm literally in the closet.

Gerry: Love is love. <3

Kevin: Who hurt you?

Not Sasha: *snorting* What, do you want a list?

Kevin: ...Yes, actually.

Melanie: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Tim: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

Helen: Hey, Sasha, where are you going?

Sasha: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell.

Sasha: But right now I’m going to McDonald’s.

Gerry: Mike said its my turn with the brain cell.

Sasha: Square up.

Kevin: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes...

Kevin: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.

Basira: ...That took an unexpected turn.

Melanie: So did their neck.

Sasha: If I say yes am I joining a cult?

Jon: Possibly.

Sasha: I’m in.

Martin: I think this might be a bad idea...

Tim: Don't start thinking on me now!

Melanie: Basira, I know you love Helen. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

Melanie: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

Basira: *cooking*

Melanie: *kicks down door*

Melanie: *grabs knife from Basira's hand*

Melanie: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?

Basira:

Basira: What.

Martin: They're trying to tell you they want to cook.

Sasha: Kevin and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Michael: What did you do?

Sasha: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

Kevin: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

#daycare au #the magnus nightvale daycare au #chaos #the magnus archives #gerard keay #jonathan sims #michael distortion #not sasha #welcome to nightvale #incorrect quotes #sasha james #mike crew #melanie king #basira hussain #martin blackwood #daisy tonner #kevin wtnv #they're all dumbasses your honor

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Free Rhys Darby ASMR Sources

So @hang-on-lil-tomato got me thinking with their post about Stede Story Time, I did all this research into all the Rhys Darby works and I realised I should probably compile it in case other folks are looking for the same things.

So yeah, I mean, Rhys doesn't do audio books as of yet, but man would that be amazing if he did. So for those of you who want to hear some good 'ol Rhys Darby voice, here's some sources. Please feel free to message me if you have more. ! I'd love to add them, and I'll tag ya :D

---

Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet Youtube Compilations

Stede say'd Ed for a full Minute by justagaycatboy

Stede Bonnet being a bitch for 4 + mins by Rae Hamilton-Vargo

Stede Bonnet being the crew's dad for almost 4 minutes by grim weaper

Stede Bonnet screaming for 2 minutes 15 seconds by "Our Flag Means Death"

Stede Bonnet cursing for almost a whole minute by Murder Turtle

----

TV or Mini Series

Rhys Darby in Japan (Freevee on Amazon)

So as someone who lived in Japan for a bit, this series is really really fun. It's awkward, and funny and it's almost all Rhys Darby as he's narrating and living the whole damn thing. There are quotes from this show that I use in my every day life, I love it so much.

Short Poppies (Freevee on Amazon)

Considering most of the characters in this show are in fact Rhys Darby, it's a great way to hear his very colourful range. I haven't seen all the episodes, but I find it quite endearing.

Intrepid Journeys (Rwanda) (Youtube/nzonscreen.com)

Ty @hang-on-lil-tomato and @meanmisscharles for this recommendation! I haven't watched it yet but here's the description:

"This Intrepid Journey sees comedian Rhys Darby taking an OE to the landlocked African country of Rwanda. Darby makes a bunch of friends in the markets of capital city Kigali, then heads on a jungle adventure. Far from the New York office of his Flight of the Conchords character Murray, he searches for critically endangered mountain gorillas. Darby is guided by François — a personable and entertaining park ranger, fluent in primate dialect — whose aping gives Darby a run for his money in gorilla impersonation. Darby is quietened by a sombre genocide memorial, and a 200 kilogram silverback."

Stand up

These are pretty self explanatory, wanna hear Rhys Darby talk for an hour or so? Stand ups the way to do it, all the voices you could want and no one interrupting him.

Rhys Darby I'm A Fighter Jet Rhys Darby: This Way Spaceship It's Rhys Darby Night Mystic Timebird

Youtube Shorts/Channels

Rhys' Youtube Channel featuring stand up shorts, sketches, Rhys' playing games and other fun stuff like "The Alone Rangers". All stuff I have to dive into, thanks again @hang-on-lil-tomato!

Movies

Love Birds (Included with Prime Video)

So if you follow @celluloidbroomcloset you have probably heard of Love Birds, and as someone who is totally normal for Rhys Darby, and loves birds and used to do rescue work, I have to day this movie is adorable. It's a really cute love story, and good god Rhys is hot AF. He and Sally Hawkins have amazing chemistry, and you get lots of good Rhys voice...in a romantic setting. I apologize ahead of time to any of you who lose your soul to this movie.

Coming & Going(Freevee)

So I haven't seen this one personally, so I can't speak to it (it's on my list for this week actually!) so I'll update this once I do.. but in the mean time, here's the description:

"When Lee (Rhys Darby), a young, skilled OBGYN who lacks confidence with women, suffers a minor injury that temporarily lands him in a wheelchair, he meets Alex (Sasha Alexander), the girl of his dreams. Convinced she has only paid attention to him because he's in that chair, he stays in it to win her affections well after his injury has healed."

Podcasts

The Cryptid Factor

You're gonna hear more than just Rhys, you'll hear from Dan Schreiber and Buttons (not ofmd buttons) and some other folks occasionally but you get to hear Rhys in his element, which is awesome because he is the goofy nerdy man we all know and love. The Cryptid Factor on Apple Podcasts

You can also go to their patreon and subscribe for free there-- the paid versions have video footage from a lot of shows and some other cool perks including stickers and book clubs and such.

Aliens Like Us

Thank you @hang-on-lil-tomato for this one! I hadn't found it before

General Reference to Works

Here's some overall guides to his various voice works (thank you again to @hang-on-lil-tomato )

--- Anyway -- hope that helps with your Rhys Darby very normalness :D

#rhys darby #how can i get any work done when rhys darby exists #rhys darby asmr #stede bonnet #ofmd #im totally normal about this #Spotify

[electrozeistyking]

So I don't know if SideVermin93 has a tumblr, but if someone could either tag them or send this their way, that'd be greatly appreciated. And seriously, don't knock Rebel Path simply because it features an OC; it does frequently follow Uzi's perspective, anyway.

C is a fun (if tragic) addition to the cast, and I love his use of colourful language. I may have quoted him a few times, I'm not gonna lie. Overall, I genuinely laughed out loud and smiled a bunch while reading this, which hasn't happened in quite some time.

Basically, as a thank you for making me laugh, here's the Ye Olde disassembly drone who is tired of this shit.

#also whoops c actually hummed not whistled in that scene #murder drones au #on the rebel path #murder drones oc #that does not belong to me but i greatly enjoy this character #VERMIN WHERE ARE YOU AND HOW DO I TAG YOU

[eiraeths]

y’all know janitor from scrubs? he gives me ghost vibes. if y’all don’t know who janitor is just know this: he’s a pathological liar (but it’s over minor things for his own entertainment) and two he actively tries to make the main character of scrubs, JD, life harder over a small little incident. dude can hold a grudge.

anyway here’s a bunch of janitor quotes from scrubs except replacing it with ghost being janitor and soap is JD because it honestly made so much sense in my head. I also think a lot of dr cox quotes fit price or ghost so some of those too. actually price could also be dr kelso in a lot of this good lawd.

———

Ghost: [mouths] I'm going to kill you.

Soap: [silently] What?

Ghost: [gestures and mouths] I'm going to kill you.

Soap: Why?

Ghost: [shrugs]

———

Price: Look, you and I are alike in a lot of ways.

Ghost: We both harbor an internal struggle between the desire to do good, and the urge to become a master criminal.

Price: We don't.

Ghost: We do.

Price: You hate people, and I hate people. What nobody gets is that we never hate indiscriminately.

Ghost: That is so true. I only hate those that have wronged me. Like if they stole my stuff, or put a penny in a door. Or... that guy. See this look he shot us, like he's so much better than we are.

Price: Plus, he's only 25, and earlier I heard him use the phrase "Back in the day".

Ghost: Well, he's dug his own grave, hasn't he? Let's do this.

———

Soap: Did you lose something?

Ghost: No, why? Did you take something?

Soap: No.

Ghost: What'd you take?

Soap: Nothing.

Ghost: What'd you take?

———

[Soap walks out of the elevator as Ghost mops the floor]

Ghost : Hey!

Soap: What? I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. What imaginary slight have you concocted in that paranoid brain of yours?

[Ghost looks down to the trail of muddy footprints trailing Soap]

Soap: [internally] Crap.

Soap: Well, shouldn't there be some sort of sign... Oh, look at that. Well, you should put it back down before someone slips and falls.

Ghost: Oh, is that what I should do? Good, because I make most decisions based on your opinion. You know what, I'm thinking of splitting up with the wife. Maybe you could mull that over, get back to me, maybe pow-wow. [a woman slips] Floor's wet, ma'am. Little help over here. Little help.

———

Gaz: Cap’n, what's our plan of attack?

Price: When I crush a person's spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.

Soap: I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves.

Price: Uh-huh.

Ghost: I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason. If I could find them I'd show you.

[poor rookie of the day walks up behind Ghost and wisely decides to back away]

Ghost: He's near.

———

[Ghost sprays a window with blue cleaning fluid and wipes it. He then aims the spray in his mouth. Price takes a second look as he passes by.]

Ghost: I filled it with blue Gatorade. I just do that to freak people out.

Price: Scintillating

———

[As a boy plays with a toy car in his bed, he accidentally knocks over his juice carton]

A Boy: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Gaz: Hey, it's okay.

A Boy: But now the Ghost Who Hates Spills is gonna come.

Gaz: Who?

Ghost: You're right, boy. He might come this very night. And as you know, that ghost's entire family was killed by a careless spill. Just like yours. Just like yours. Hmm.

———

Gaz: Oh, hi. Are we going out? What's with the jumpsuit?

Ghost: Okay, first of all if we're gonna make it, not a jumpsuit. Shirt, belt, pants.

Gaz: Oh. Ok.

Ghost: Secondly, I think it's time that you knew the real me. All right, here we go. I'm not like normal people. I don't have superpowers, but I'm working on it. For instance, watch me move this pen. [looks at pen, which doesn't move] It worked at home. I don't know. Maybe my table is slanted. Um, anyway, in my spare time, I also enjoy stuffing animals. Usually with other animals. For instance, a badger will hold five squirrels. A squirrel will hold most of a cat. A mouse will hold a shrew and a vole. You get the idea. Circle of life. I have broken the sound barrier, but you must never ask me how. I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.

Price: Ha! I love a good train wreck.

Ghost: Furthermore, I think if you look closely a monkey-

Soap: Stop it, you. he doesn't know you're joking.

———

Ghost: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Watch your step, there, Gaz.

Gaz: Thanks, Ghost.

Gaz: [internally] He is so sweet. But why doesn't he just put up a sign that says "wet floor"?

[Soap screams as he slides across the floor and crashes]

Ghost: Wet floor.

———

Soap: [gasps] Why do you have to jump out and scare me all the time?

Ghost: I don't jump out and scare you. I follow you around all day. I only got about an hour-and-a-half worth of work around here, and the rest of the time, I track you, like an animal.

Soap: You're kidding, right?

Ghost: [chuckles] I don't know. Am I?

———

Soap: Holy-

Ghost: [whispering] Calm down. I didn't mean to scare you.

Soap: [whispering] Why are we whispering?

Ghost: [whispering] I wanted to see if you would whisper because I whispered.

Soap: [whispering] I think I would.

———

Ghost: I convinced everybody in on base that's afraid of me to go outside and spell out the score of the game.

Price: Really?

Ghost: No, you idiot. I'm just gonna tell you the score of the game. Maybe knock your head against the glass.

Price: Look, I was way out of line telling you how that movie ended, but, God save me, watching sports is one of the last pure pleasures I have left in my life, so you tell me what's it gonna take for you to let me go home, sit in my massage chair, and enjoy the game?

Ghost: I would like to perform open heart surgery.

Price: No.

Ghost: How about you perform surgery on me so that I can breathe underwater?

Price: No.

Ghost: I would like a shark that read minds.

Price: No.

Ghost: You and I trade lives for a year.

Price: No.

Ghost: How about a home-cooked meal and an hour in your massage chair?

Price: Done.

Ghost: Done.

[Ghost walks over to the window and looks outside, where a large group of rookies have arranged themselves to spell out "98-97"]

Ghost: Hey, guys, it's off.

[He looks again and they have rearranged themselves to read "Why"]

Ghost: Wow! You guys are organised.

———

Ghost: Look, if I learnt one thing from my parents, it's this. The key to a good marriage is keeping your emotions bottled up until they finally explode and you have to lash out physically.

Soap: You mean, beat each other up?

Ghost: I mean beat yourself up. My mother once snapped her own index finger because my father was late for church. She dented the car, he threw himself down the stairs.

———

Gaz: Soap, you're not that self-destructive.

Ghost: Really? I was gonna suggest he seek professional help. Would you be interested in seeing a cognitive therapist? 'cause I know a guy, he's good. I'm going to give you his card, then I'm gonna bash your head in. I'll see you in the morning.

Soap: I'm in at 7.

Ghost: Wear a helmet.

———

okay that’s it

#cod mw #cod 141 #cod modern warfare #incorrect cod quotes #call of duty modern warfare #john soap mactavish #soap cod #soap call of duty #ghoap #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #gaz cod #simon riley cod #cod soap #john price cod #cod price #john price #captain john price #ghost call of duty #ghost x soap #ghost simon riley #soapghost #ghostsoap #soap x ghost #inccorect quotes #incorrect call of duty quotes #task force 141 #cod incorrect quotes #call of duty incorrect quotes #ear incorrect quotes