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#Cass left a heart
lulurhythm · 8 months
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Inktober 6th: “Golden”
Dick Grayson, the golden boy, ignoring strict orders of bedrest after a rough patrol. I had so much fun with this one!!! 🤩
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bruqh · 2 months
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after ep 11 and the marriage contract reveal and seeing a lot of speculation that they are a god of anarchy (already v connected to figs character) i rewatched the scene between her and porter and zara talking about where she gets her powers from fig says about kristen (and cass) “she’s doubt, im rebellion, they go hand in hand” and brennan lays it on thickkk about fig pledging herself to rebellion would also make kristen (and cass) stronger !!!
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megaerakles · 1 year
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Got covid for the first time immediately after the public health emergency ends (go figure) and while it’s a pretty mild case it has still ruined what was supposed to be a super fun long weekend after a hard week at work. To compensate I am working on my MOST self indulgent of fic projects in which Tim Drake’s ancestors are secretly from Oz and he and the Batfam get pulled into Oz when Queen Ozma goes missing and Tim’s considered to be the next in line for the throne so they want him to rule the kingdom while they locate their queen. Now the only thing left to figure out is which bats get to be magical when in the magic realm 🤔
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deadsetobsessions · 4 months
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“I ate paint once,” Danny nonchalantly threw out in the middle of game night.
The entire table stopped. Heads whipped towards Danny.
“Yeah, me too. Cardamom yellow was my favorite. Ugly as hell but the chemicals just tasted right.” Tim replied, using the distraction to nab some of Bruce’s money. Monopoly money, that is. Everyone’s heads snapped towards Tim, only Cass and Danny (who was part of the scheme) caught him cheating.
“Really? I think mine was those spray can blue cosmos paint. But that might have been more my thing for space than the actual taste.”
“WHY WERE YOU EATING PAINT?!” Dick asked, looking like he wanted to lunge over the table and shake Danny until he puked out paint. Bruce looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
“Yeah, what the fuck, Tim?” Jason snickered.
“In my defense,” Danny grinned. “I was left unsupervised. Also, Steph, you owe me $24 in rent.”
“Ugh! I’m almost out of money! Can’t you loan me some, Alfred?”
“I am sorry, Miss Stephanie, you are not qualified for another loan. In fact, one of your properties is about to be confiscated as per the collateral agreement.”
“Noooo!” Stephanie made dramatic dying noises.
“What was your excuse, Timothy?” Damian asked, eyes glued to the board and determined to win the game.
“Hey, I was probably less supervised than Danny was.”
“Yeah,” Danny perked up. “My parents brought us down to their lab all of the time. Taught us a lot of stuff.”
“Really? Like what?” Duke asked, casually slapping away Tim’s sneaky hands.
“Oh, like what a rocket launcher sounded like up close! And how to build a laser gun! Oh! And what human organs looked like when they’re fresh!” Danny chirped, collecting his money from a stunned Stephanie’s hands. He looked up.
“Oh, don’t worry! I at least learned what not to do when it comes to lab safety. And we wore hazmat suits to protect ourselves from the radiation.” Danny smiled in a ditzy fashion as the table fell silent in a horrified manner. Cass tapped his arm amusedly, but allowed his bullshit to stand. After all, it’s not like he lied.
“Radiation?” Duck’s voice raised a couple of octaves. Oh yeah, Danny’s going to laugh about that pitch for a long while.
“Organs?!” Jason’s hands closed around the plastic house he was holding rather forcefully.
“Do you even know what basic lab safety practices are, Danny?” Damian demanded, finally looking up with brows furrowed. He rolled the dice and grabbed a mystery card. He gets $100 from Alfred.
“How old were you??” Duke asked.
“Like… 8, when they first brought me in?”
“Eight.” Bruce rumbled, slipping into a more Batman like persona. When Danny sent him a confused look, Bruce straightened back into his Bruce persona. “Wow, they must have trusted you a lot!”
“Sure?”
“What were their names again?” Stephanie asked sweetly, Cass nodding at him.
“Jack and Maddie Fenton.” Not that they’ll find them here, considering his parents are dead and in another universe.
“Cool, cool, cool!” Stephanie blinked, beaming as her hands formed lethal fists underneath the table.
Danny blinked and tilted his head in an unassuming way, pretending like he had no idea what Stephanie was thinking of. He sneakily handed over $600 to Cass in order to complete his monopoly on his side of the board.
Danny stood up and spread his hands out, one hand clutching his new found victory.
"Well, lady and gents, you've all been floundering against the inevitable tide of capitalism. I am here, as a reminder that you can never win against the hopelessness that will be your financial ruin! I, Danny Fenton, have obtained a quarter of the board and therefore have won against even your best efforts!" He cackled, holding up his fan of properties triumphantly. He shot a mischievous grin at Cass, who held up a solemn thumbs up in support for his monetary takeover.
"... Danny, are you... planning on a career in villainy?" Bruce asked, after a brief and total wave of shocked silence. Damian looked like he was having a conniption at having been bested, unknowingly. Yeah, Danny was disarming like that.
"Yeah, that was concerning." Tim piped up, nabbing a ten from a shell-shocked Damian.
"Hey! The Riddler gives surprisingly good monologues! And he's really loud, so it's hard not to pick up on things. Duke, your turn." Danny sat back down, pouting. The villainy comment was a little too close to his fears.
"Damn it." Duke, who had rolled, landed smack middle of Danny's territory. He handed over a sheaf of bills to a grinning Danny.
"Wait a minute! You have cheated!" Damian bolted upwards from his seat, finally done running through the purchases he remembered Danny making. "You acquired that property not within the games' rules!"
"Okay, first of all, the rule book is a suggestion, like lab safety rules," Danny saw the others open their mouths to protest, but he quickly shut it down. "Second, there's totally no rules about selling and buying places from a private owner so suck on it. And thirdly? Cass sold it to me, so you all can take it up with her."
"Diabolical!" Damian muttered indignantly.
"... Dammit." Dick sighed, falling back into the chair and balancing on its two legs. He couldn't say anything, considering his current of bankruptcy.
"Danny. Danny, I'll buy a property from you." Jason said, eyeing one of Danny's other properties near his own cluster.
"What do you have that would interest me?" Danny asked, falling back into his Vlad-like imitation.
"Ew, don't do that," Steph reached over to jab him in the arm.
"Yeah, Jason, what do you have?" Duke said, the lovely subtle instigator that he is.
"Red Hood's signature."
The others blue-screen, gaping at the actual audacity Jason had to offer up something that would take him no effort. Danny, prepared with a poker face that came with lying straight to Jazz's ever perceptive eyes about whether he nabbed the last of her ice cream or not, was prepared.
"Red Hood? The condom guy working out of the... um. Upper East Side?" Danny asked, pretending to hesitate. He knows where Jason operated. That doesn't mean he couldn't simply pretend otherwise. For science, of course.
...
...
...
The table howled with laughter, Jason's indignant spluttering unable to say anything against Danny's wide eyed look of innocence. Cass leaned against the table, chuckles falling out of her mouth and eyes crinkled in mirth. Dick had fallen out of his chair, helplessly wheezing on the floor. Duke is hiding his face in his hands, mirroring Bruce's pose as they both shake from silent laughter. Damian is smirking, wicked and sharp as he smugly stared at Jason. Stephanie and Tim are leaning against each other, repeating "the CONDOM GUY" in alternating and increasingly louder voices. Alfred had a smile on his face and a tight grip on the bills in front of him that betrayed his amusement.
"He's a crime lord!" Jason exclaimed, indignant.
"Uh, okay. Well, I mean, why would I want a crime lord's signature? I don't want to be on his radar. Or echolocation or whatever. He's... a Bat, right? That's what you guys call that group, yeah?"
"How do you know the Rogues better than the vigilantes?!" Jason glared at his unhelpful family. Those assholes better prepare for a load of rubber bullets the next time they're on patrol near Crime Alley.
"Hey, it's not my fault the vigilantes here are unsociable. Maybe if they monologued more, I'd know who they are."
"Wouldn't- wouldn't that make them more villain like?" Tim asked, stuttering from his laughter.
"I dunno?" Danny replied, enjoying his the family's unabashed joy. "I mean, they're pretty legit and they help people already so I guess they don't need to be sociable... but still I swear I haven't heard anything about Batman other than that he grunts and is mean towards criminals."
Is mean towards criminals, Duke mouthed at a recovering Dick who was in the process of heaving himself back up. It sent him careening back down to the floor with restrained giggles. Cass tapped Danny, reminding him to eat some food.
"Tt. Of course not. They're efficient at their jobs and have no need to be seen as welcoming to criminals." Damian puffed up.
"Yeah, but they've gotta feel safe, right?" Danny shrugged as he plucked a cookie from the cookie platter. "The... one with the sword, what was it?"
"Robin." Damian supplied, eyes narrowed and trained on him.
"Yeah, the baby bird. The kids think his swords are cool so they trust him. But like, the others? The flippy blue one? Not so much."
"Wait," Dick said from the floor. "They don't trust Nightwing?"
"Nah, they trust him to protect them, but he has a history of bringing the kids to the police, you know?"
"What's wrong with that?"
Danny shrugged. "ACAB. But also because everybody knows that half the guys in the GCPD and CPS are child traffickers."
"Wait, what?" Jason and Tim straightened.
Bruce piped in, the emotional whiplash of amusement to concern to amusement to concern visibly making itself known on the man's baffled face. "I thought Batman and Commissioner Gordon took care of that?"
"Sure, the obvious ones." Danny hesitated. Well, he's pretty sure they think he's a meta so... "There's... a meta trafficking ring that they're a part of. That's. That's kind of what I was running from."
Danny looked up pleadingly. Cass placed a hand on his arm in comfort, not knowing that he was fibbing about running from them.
Danny was on the streets helping his own Alley metas to run from them.
Danny is as feral as she was, and that meant he could hide just as much as she could read off of him. Cass was the best and he felt kind of bad about lying to her, successfully or not.
"Uh. Some people said you know Batman, Bruce. I know- uh, that might not be the case but if you do, could you ask him to look into it?" Danny made his eyes tear up. "And maybe he wouldn't care about me much, I mean, I know he doesn't really like metas but if he helps out, I could totally like, leave the city once the kids are safe, promise."
Ooh, Danny put a little too much sincerity into that. He could practically hear the hearts breaking in the game room as everyone glared at Bruce.
"You won't have to leave."
"... Promise?" And Danny's voice was a little too desperate, too hopeful, because Bruce's eyes tugged down in sadness.
"Promise." He rumbled, all Bruce Wayne and all Batman. Danny's core warmed. Danny also saw the rest of the family's faces darken in pure agreement. And partial wrath.
"Yeah! We'll kick Batman's ass if he even thought about kicking you out!" Stephanie proclaimed.
"He's far more proficient in combat than you are, Brown." Damian immediately leapt to Batman's defense and that was that.
Well, later, as Danny was "sleeping" and Phantom was hovering in the cave, invisible and intangible, he got confirmation that his Alley meta kids were going to be safe, soon.
After all, the entire Batclan was suiting up and baying for blood, with Oracle's all encompassing presence behind them, fingers reaching for their enemies' weak points.
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Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.
Dick:
He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.
One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.
Jason:
Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.
So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.
Tim:
Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.
Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.
Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.
Damian:
Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.
"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".
Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.
Duke:
By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.
Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".
Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"
Cass:
Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.
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daydreaming-nerd · 3 months
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You Want a Baby? (Bat Boys x Female! Reader)
Based off of multiple resquests... and by all means request more of this shit. My Ruhn asks have been kind dry. Would hate for the frat pack to run a train on the reader...
AN: You guys I spent so much time on this I hope it lives up to expectation because this is my kind of thing.
Summary: It's the perfect storm, you're ovulating, all your mates happen to be home and they all want to see you pregnant with their child.
Warnings: Double penetration, breeding kink, size kink, possessive mates, Over stim, literally so many things I'm probably forgetting
Word count: 3738
It was that time of the month, well not THAT time. 
Fae periods were a bitch, that much was true. But fae ovulating? It was a whole different thing. The need to be touched, to be filled, was excruciating. Ever since I had found my mates, three of them to be exact, it was like all those sensations had been heightened. Every time I ovulated, all three of my mates couldn't be present. 
The first time Rhysand was meeting with Tarquin leaving only Cassian and Azriel to fuck me senseless. The next time around it was just Azriel to keep me sated. One of the most memorable times was last year when it was just Rhys and Cassian to help. However, I patiently waited for a day when all three mates would be here to take care of me, a day I secretly hoped would be today. 
I woke up this morning to an empty bed and a note that said they had all gone to Windhaven to check on the Illyrian camps. I didn’t mind their absence too much until later that afternoon when I felt my body start to sweat with need. I went to the bathroom to strip off my clothes, leaving me only in the black lingerie that Azriel had bought me for solstice last year. I couldn’t help but admire myself, running my hands down my body. It wasn’t until then that I realized what was going on, I was ovulating. 
The boys were in Windhaven which meant there was a possibility that they could all be here by tonight. But with the tensions in the Illyrian camps high, I knew it was most likely a long shot. So I spent the day dancing around the townhouse in nothing but my lingerie, loving the feeling of the fresh air on my skin. As the sky got darker I realized my mates weren’t likely to come home. 
I made my way upstairs to our oversized bed and tossed myself on top of the covers. I tried to sleep and push all thoughts of Rhysand’s hands, Azriel’s tongue and, Cassian’s cock from my mind. I was unsuccessful, and ended up finding myself writing all over our shared bed, begging for any kind of friction the sheets offer me. That’s how the boys found me, squirming around our bed in nothing but my lingerie. 
“Well, what do we have here?” Cassian drawled, leaning against the doorway.
I sat up straight, trying to act like I wasn’t about to reach a hand down my panties just seconds ago. 
“I told you both,” Azriel said smugly, walking into the room with Rhysand in tow. 
“Told them what?” I ask bringing my knees to my chest in a lame attempt to cover myself.
“I told them that you were ovulating today,” Azriel smirked. “I’ve been tracking your cycle since I got left out last time,” he looked to Cass and Rhys with a death glare. 
“We got back from Windhaven a few hours and decided to get a drink at Rita’s,” Rhysand explained, stalling towards where I sat on the bed. “We were talking about you.”
“You were?” I ask, sensing the seriousness in Rhysand’s voice. 
“Oh yes we were little one,” Cassian laughs. 
“We were talking about how amazing you would look pregnant,” Rhysand explained, his voice like liquid sex. 
“R-Really?” I say, not trusting my own voice. 
“Yeah,” Cassain answered, taking a step toward me.  “We think we're ready for a baby.” 
“Only if you’re ready though,” Rhys assured me. 
My heart skipped at their words. The idea of carrying any one of their children excited me. I couldn’t lie, I had been thinking about it since my last cycle. 
“What do you think, little one? Gonna let us put a baby in you tonight?” Azriel drawled, leaving a kiss on the shell of my ear. 
I couldn’t even speak, all the intelligent words leaving my brain. All I could think about was how feral the fae were when trying to conceive. My legs would’ve fallen apart if it wasn’t for my arms holding them together. I nodded my head, still unable to think. 
A collective growl filled the room as Azriel grabbed my arms and stood me up in the center of the room, leaving me on display for each of my mates. They closed in on me instantly and I had to crane my neck up to meet each of their gazes. Cassian’s hand slid under the strap of my bra inspecting me thoroughly. 
“Which one of you bought her this little set?” Cassian said, slipping the strap of my bra off my shoulder while Rhysand worked on the opposite strap. 
“I did,” Azriel said, rubbing circles into my hips as he left open mouth kisses on my shoulders. 
“Well thank you Az,” Rhys smirked, unclasping my bra. 
My body felt like it was on fire from three sets of hands roaming up and down it. Even if I closed my eyes I could easily tell who touched me where. The sensation of it all had me tossing my head back on Azriel’s chest, trusting him to support my body. He grasped my hips tightly to keep my knees from buckling as Cassian and Rhys stared at my breasts now free of the tight black lingerie.
“Look at those perfect tits Az,” Rhysand drawled. 
I felt Azriel’s large hand drift up my torso and to my neck pulling me against his body even more so I could feel his hard cock pressed up against my back. His hand on my throat gently pushed my head to look at him as he said back to Rhysand
“They are perfect,” he smirked, craning his neck down to capture my lips in his. 
“And soon they’ll be full of milk,” Cassian pointed out with a smirk, swiping a calloused thumb over my nipple.
Rhysand bends his head down to take one of my aching nipples into his mouth sucking it taut. The gesture catches Cassian’s attention and he leans down to give the same treatment to the other side. The sensation has me arching my back aching to be closer to them. I feel Azriel’s hands grip my hips and yank me against his body again. His hand comes to grip my throat once more as he sticks his tongue down my throat earning a moan from me. I feel Cassian’s lips pull off my tit with a pop as he watches me and Azriel. 
“Gods sometimes I forget how tiny she is,” Cassian drawls running his hands up and down my sides. “Look at her with Az she’s like half his size.” 
Rhys stops his menstrations on my other breast to see what Cassian is talking about, “She’s practically half all our sizes Cass,” Rhys chuckles. 
“Gods I just wanna toss her around like a little doll,” Cassian curses. 
“Do it,” Azriel smirks, pulling his lips from mine. “You know how much she loves it.” 
Cassian says nothing before picking me up by my hips effortlessly and tossing me onto the bed earning an excited squeal from me. 
“Told you,” Azriel beamed with male pride. 
Cassian stalked towards me with Rhys and Azriel hot on his heels and I started moving up the oversized bed towards the headboard. 
“Oh no you don’t,” he smirks, grabbing my ankles and yanking me down the bed. I wait patiently watching Cassian untie the leathers of his pants, my mouth nearly falling open as his large cock springs out. “Come here baby,” he smiles and I eagerly sit up and lick the tip of his cock. 
I looked up at him through my lashes donning my most innocent expression as I took as much of him as I could in my mouth. The rest I pumped with my hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Azriel and Rhys fisting their cocks at the sight of me sucking Cassian off. 
“Good fucking girl y/n,” Cassain moaned tossing his head back in ecstasy. 
I reveled in the salty taste of him, the feeling of every single vein in his cock massaging my tongue. I would never get tired of this, of pleasing my mates.  Cassian pulled me off him and pushed my upper half down on the mattress. My panties are ripped off and discarded somewhere in the room. There goes that set. 
“Stop Cass, make sure she’s ready, I don’t want to tear her,” Rhysand tells Cassian, the voice of a High Lord making its appearance. 
Cassian bends down to inspect my pussy, running a finger through my folds to find me absolutely drenched. “Oh she’s ready alright,” he smiles. “God baby your pussy is so fucking tiny. It’s a miracle you can take us so well.” 
“Cass please,” I whine, nearly coming undone at his words.
Cassian starts pushing his cock in me and the stretch has me backing away from him subconsciously. He grabs my hips and pulls me back towards him, pinning me to the mattress. I had been their mate for a while now but every time they entered me I still felt the stretch. Cassian was right, I was half their size, was a miracle I could take them. 
Cassian started trusting in me at a fast pace and the sound of our skin slapping filled the room. To my right and left Azriel and Rhys continued to stroke their cocks and as much as I longed to put them both in my mouth, Cassian had me in such a state of pleasure I couldn’t focus on anything else. 
“Fuck Cass look at her belly,” Azriel practically moaned. Cassian’s eyes snapped to my stomach where he could see the bulge from his cock thrusting into me. I moaned at the sight. 
“Yeah, you like that baby?” He smirks, leaning over to capture my lips in his. His pace speeds up and within seconds he’s cumming inside of me. 
Cassian pushes his cock in me a couple of times, his attempt at burying his seed deep inside me. He pulls out soon after and I whine at the sudden emptiness. 
“That’s the one that’s gonna get her pregnant,” Cassian beams with male pride, his cock already hardening. 
“Pfft, you wish General.” Azriel scoffs positioning himself between my legs. 
He pushes in slowly and I cry out at the stretch once more. Each glorious inch of him brings immense pain and pleasure. 
“Shhh be a good girl and take it all,” Azriel coos until his hips are flush with mine. “That’s a girl.” he moans as he begins fucking me hard. 
My mind goes to mush almost instantly and the moans coming out of my mouth are damn near feral. The need to be fucked and filled by each of my mates runs so deep in my veins. My hands claw and scrape and find Azriel’s forearms as he slams his hips into me, seeking out his own pleasure. 
“Az please let me cum, I-I’m so c-close,” I mewl, each word hard to get out. 
“Not yet baby, you don’t get to cum until we all have a load in that little pussy,” Rhysand drawls, pumping his cock. “Speaking of, step aside Az I’m not gonna last much longer.” 
“No, I’m not done with her yet,” Azriel growls, his possessive side coming out. 
“You think I can fit in there with you then?” Rhysand asks. 
“Now this I gotta see,” Cassian jests. 
The thought of two cocks fucking my pussy at once has my eyes glazing over and my mouth falling open like I’m in some sort of subspace. 
“I can take it,” I choke out between Azriel’s thrusts. 
“Pick her up Az,” Rhys says, his voice practically dripping with lust. 
Azriel doesn’t stop his minstations as he wraps one of his arms around me, lifting me off the bed. My arms wrap around his neck as my forehead bumps his and he stares me down as he fucks me mid-air.  
“Good girl,” he rasps, proud of how well I’m taking him.
The next thing I know he’s lying me down again, Rhysand’s warm chest replacing the mattress. His hands wander up and down my sides trying to soothe my nerves as Azriel stops moving. 
“Alright little one take a deep breath for me,” Rhys instructs and I can feel him lining his cock up at my entrance. 
I do as I’m told, taking the deepest gulp of air possible, excited for what comes next. The second I let my breath go I feel Rhys pushing his cock into me aside Azriel’s. The stretch is more than any I’ve ever felt before but the sounds escaping Rhys and Azriel’s mouths make it so worth it. Once Rhys is brushing my cervix along with Azriel tears prick my eyes and Cassian is kneeling before me in an instant. 
“Shhh breathe baby,” Cassian coos, glancing down to where both his brothers' cocks are seated inside my pussy. “Fuck, you’re being such a good girl. Just gotta take two more loads and then we’ll let you cum alright?” 
All I  can muster is a shallow nod as Rhys and Azriel begin thrusting in tandem. The constant feeling of fullness has me feeling numb while feeling everything all at once. I arch my back further and Rhys runs a hand down my hip to hold me in place so that he doesn’t slip out. My eyes glance to Azriel who has his eyes fixated on the bulge in my stomach being made by both his and his High Lord’s cock. All the while, Cassian brushes the sweat and hair away from my brow whispering praises to me. 
“Fuck I’m gonna cum,” Rhys groans, the vibrations of his chest skittering down my back. 
“Me too,” Azriel moans and within seconds I feel his sperm coating my walls just like Cassian’s. 
Azriel cumming triggers Rhys to cum as well and even though I can still feel Azriel, the load my High Lord put in me is equally as distinct. 
“Holy fuck,” Azriel groans pulling out of me inspecting his work. My breaths are so ragged and my vision so blurred that I can barely make out Rhysand’s voice. 
“Take her Cass,” he mutters, or so I think. My assumptions are proven right when I feel Cassian’s arms snake around me, pulling me off of Rhys’ cock.
 I whimper at the loss of the fullness as Cassian lays me on top of his chest stroking my hair and kissing my brow. My body vibrates and my heart pounds with the need to cum. 
“Poor baby, you wanna cum don’t you?” Cassian coos tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. My eyes are glassed over and my face looks fucked out but I’m still able to nod. 
“Make her cum Cass, I want us each to get one more load in her before we’re done,” Rhysand says, already fisting his cock. 
“Rhys I’m not sure, look at her. I don’t think she can take much more.” Cassian warns, placing me against the pillows and moving down my body. 
“Do you want her pregnant or not?” Rhys snaps.
“Of course I do,” Cassian says. “Can you take three more loads baby?” he asks me. 
“Of course she can,” Azriel says, his cock already at attention from seeing his fucked out mate. 
“I-okay,” I sputter, still vibrating at the need to be touched. At this point, I was practically bucking my hips into Cassian’s face. 
“You want me to lick your pretty clit?” Cassian smirks using one arm to pin my hips to the mattress and the other to spread my folds. 
“Y-yes,” I beg. 
Cassian chuckles, his eyes fixed on my cunt, “Looks like we made quite the mess of her little cunt,” he muses and both Rhysand and Azirel peer down to investigate. 
“Shit Cass it’s spilling out,” Azriel curses. 
“Don’t worry brother,” Cassian assures him, as he presses two fingers inside me, pushing the cum deep inside me. “She won’t waste it. Will you baby?” He smiles at me. 
“No, I w-won’t,” I say, meaning every word my body still shaking. 
“Cass lick her little clit or I will, the poor thing is shaking,” Rhys orders Cassian. 
Cassian doesn’t waste a moment before lowering his mouth to my pussy  and attacking my clit. It only took five kitten licks for me to orgasm harder than ever before. My back arches off the bed and the tension from my body pushes more of my mate’s cum out of my aching hole. 
“Ah ah ah,” Cassian says, pushing two fingers into me again. “What did we say about wasting?” 
“Cass it’s your turn,” Azriel bites close to spilling his load. 
“Spread em’ baby,” Cassian smirks, spreading my legs for me anyway before burying himself inside of me. 
“Oh gods Cass!” I cry out as he starts fucking me relentlessly chasing his own release.
“Fuck I love seeing that little bulge,” Cassian grins, placing a hand over where his cock hit my belly.
 Seconds later he’s spilling his load into me, a sound coming from his mouth that I’ve never heard before.  My vision nearly goes black, the only thing keeping me grounded is Cassian gripping my throat and pulling me up to kiss me as his second orgasm coats my walls. 
“Who’s next?” Cassian asks, pulling out of me. 
“Me,” Both Rhysand and Azriel say at the same time. 
“Back off Az, you got to have her first last time,” Rhys growls. 
Whenever I told people I had three mates they would usually joke about how territorial they would get over me. The irony was that my mates almost  never had a problem sharing me, but tonight? Well, tonight was just one of those nights. When mates were trying to conceive they were practically feral, I was honestly surprised things had gone so smoothly till now. 
“Yeah, and I literally had to share her pussy with you!” Azriel roars. 
Cassain drags me up to lay my upper half on his chest so he can run a hand through my hair and whisper praises to me.
“I’m pulling rank, as your High Lord I’m going first,” Rhysand orders, nudging my entrance. 
“Fuck off Rhys,” Azriel says continuing to fist his cock. 
Rhys pushes his cock inside me with a groan as he bottoms out. My body shudders and on instinct, I move away from him but he grips my hips and brings me down his cock again fucking into me hard. 
In my haze my head falls to the side, my cheek grazing Cassian’s abs, the very ones he let me rut on to get off a few weeks ago, and I meet Azriel. He looks glorious, pumping his cock while watching Rhysand fuck my hole. On instinct, I reach my tongue out and lap at the head of his cock catching his immediate attention. 
“You wanna suck it baby?” He muses brushing his cock against my lips. I open my mouth wide, sticking my tongue out in response.
 I know I’m so fucked out I can barely wrap my lips around him but Rhys pulling rank seemed like a dick move and I wanted to remedy it in any way I could. Azriel pushes his cock into my mouth letting out a guttural moan in the process. 
“Good fucking girl,” Azriel moans and it spurs me on to suck him even harder as he fucks my mouth. 
“Oh fuck,” Rhys roars cumming into me for the second time tonight. He knows better than to stay seated in me longer than necessary and pulls out as soon as possible. Azriel’s cock follows, his cock leaving my mouth with a bead of saliva dripping from it.  
“Are you fucked out my love?” Azriel croons, grabbing my jaw to face him. It’s evident from my hazy eyes that I am.
“One more load sweetheart,” Rhys whispers, pressing a kiss to my brow. “You want a baby in your belly don’t you?” 
“Uh huh,” I rasp still unable to form actual words. 
“Open,” Azriel orders his grip on my jaw tightening.  
Of all my mates Azriel was always the most dominant. I loved to test Rhys and Cassian, but when it came to Az? I knew it was in my best interest to be a good girl. 
So just like I had a million times before I opened my mouth nice and wide for him. His hand gripped my jaw, keeping it open before he spit in my mouth. 
“Now swallow,” he growled and I followed his orders once again. I opened my mouth to show him I had been a good girl and he rewarded me by pushing his cock inside me. 
“What was that about Az?” Cassian laughed stroking my hair. 
“Grounding her, if I’m gonna pump a load in her I want her to feel it,” Azriel groans. “We’ve done it before, haven't we baby?” he asks me and I nod enthusiastically. 
Rhys wipes the sweat from my brow as Cassian presses a hand down where Azriel’s cock makes a bulge in my belly. 
“She’s gonna cum Az,” Cassian informs his brother. 
“Fuck I can feel it. Her tiny cunt is squeezing me so tight I can barely fuck her.” Azriel groans. “Ready baby?” Azriel asks me and I nod once more. “1…2…3…Fuckkk,” Azriel moans, spilling his seed into me.
Despite the haze that fills my head I can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment knowing I did it.  I gave each of my mates two orgasms the evidence dripping from my sore cunt, wait fuck. 
“Waste!” is the only word I can get out as I feel all six loads of cum spilling out of me. 
“Shh, it’s okay mate,” Azriel coos, pressing a kiss to my brow laying down on the side that wasn’t occupied by Rhys. “Cass plug her up,” Azriel continues. 
 Without warning, two of Cassian’s fingers slide into my pussy keeping their combined cum from leaking out. 
“Get comfortable mate,” Cassian chuckles. “We’re gonna have to sleep like this.” 
And sleep I do. With Cassian behind me, my head on Rhys’ chest, and Azriel using my stomach as a pillow I’m out within minutes. I don’t know what the future holds as far as children go, but I’d say this was a good first attempt at conceiving.
pregnant! Reader x bat boys Drabble
Masterlist
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gay-dorito-dust · 4 months
Note
hmmm just imagine Jason Todd with a girlfriend pretty and kind like an angel and everyone is just shocked because 'how they're a couple??"
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Think I went a little of ask for this one 😂 🦦
Jason calls you his angel for a reason.
You’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re downright beautiful/gorgeous and withheld an equally sweet, kind soul that bleeds through everything that you did or said. When you met Jason he was on the cusp of unconsciousness, finding him just slumped at your front door, severely injured. Anyone else who knew better would’ve left him but no, not you. You brought him -THE RedHood- into your house and home out of the kindness of your heart and patched him up as best as you could.
Heaven sent is another name of endearment that Jason called you and it held true on a plethora of occasions where he would find himself being dragged back at your doorstep, and it wasn’t long after that did Jason finally allow himself to pursue a chance at happiness by your side, and he’d be damned if it wasn’t the best decision he’s ever made in his entire life because being with you had been nothing short of a dream for Jason. A dream he never thought he’d get to live with the fucked up ordeal of having came back from the dead.
However when his family manages to catch wind of this because nothing stays secret for long, not by a long shot, their first thought was; how?
This wasn’t a slight towards Jason or his character but they couldn’t help but feel as though they’ve blinked and missed something extremely pivotal for this to have become the end result. They weren’t the only one to share this sentiment though as even Jason would be taken aback by your differences and often wondered if you were too different for your relationship to work.
It does however and it was one of the only times where Jason was grateful for being wrong for getting inside his own head, and just before he possibly ruins the best thing that has ever happened to him in a long, long while by self sabotage too. God only knows how much Jason would’ve hated himself for doing such a heinous thing to someone as underserving of such treatment as you.
So when Dick asks him one day ‘how did you manage to get someone like them?’ Whilst gesturing to you as you talked with the likes of Duke, Stephanie and Cass and getting along. Jason couldn’t think of a clear answer that would be enough to satisfy his brother’s curiosity because how was he meant to answer that question without it sounding generic and unoriginal.
‘Did you use any offhanded tactics to get them to be in a relationship with you?’ Damian asks and Dick gives him a look, only for the younger of the two of them to shrug his shoulders. ‘It was only a simple question Grayson.’
‘Yeah, just not one you ask when your brother comes home for the first time in months, and in a relationship nonetheless with the epitome of sweetness.’ Dick replied before looking over to Jason who was looking over at you with soft yet protective look on his face, but before Dick could say anything about how nothing was going to happen to you whilst in the Wayne Manor, Jason had already found the answer he has been looking for the entire evening.
‘They saved me.’ In the moment he said those words you looked over at him, Dick and Damian and smiled brightly that it never failed to knock the air out of Jason’s lungs upon seeing it. His angel, his heaven sent, the face he is blessed to see first and last thing in the mornings and late nights where he gently scolds you for staying up for him before kisses you in gratitude for doing so anyway.
Dick seemed content with this answer and meanwhile Damian looked visibly indifferent, he made a noise that said that he was also satisfied with this answer, just in time too as you came over to Jason and subtly held his pinkie with your own as you kissed his cheek. ‘You didn’t to tell me how cool your siblings were Jay!’ You began when Dick decided to join in on it too as he looked as Jason, betrayed. ‘You didn’t? Why not? Is it because you want your lovely partner to always be biased towards you?’ He pouts.
You chuckled and patted Jason on the bicep as you addressed Dick. ‘I’m always going to be bias towards my Jason.’ You admitted, causing a wave of warmth to flood Jason’s entire body upon hearing your confident confession. ‘For he is simply the best man I have ever met and that will never change.’
‘Never?’ Dick asked.
‘Never.’ You answered.
‘Even if he may be in the wrong sometimes?’ Damian asked this time and you shrugged, still smiling. ‘Not all of us are perfect beings and that’s a reality I’d accept rather than one where we’re all without flaw, physical or otherwise.’ Jason felt as though he might combust from your words alone but managed to compose himself enough to press a kiss to your temple to whisper against it. ‘Thank you baby.’
‘Anything for you Jaybirdie.’ You responded in kind, feeling him take hold of your hand, intertwining your fingers together as you rested your head against his bicep as you both continued to talk with Damian and Dick.
Yours and Jason’s relationship may not be what many expected it to be or make logical but why should it when you and Jason were more than happy together?
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help-itrappedmyself · 3 months
Text
Dead on Main AU 3
Masterpost
So this one is a bit longer, but that's because part of it is the same phone conversation from the other side.
~~~~~
“Road trip!” Dick calls out. All of the- siblings(?)-younger people start to scramble before Bruce calls out for them to stop.
“This is going to be a 12 hour drive one-way, which means we won't be back until dinner tomorrow at the earliest. Not all of you can go.” This causes a lot of frowns and Danny holds in a chuckle. They start arguing over why they should be able to go and Bruce pinches his nose, right between his eyes as they shout at him.
“First and Foremost, I do believe that Masters Duke, Damian, and Stephanie have school tomorrow.” Alfred inserts. Everyone quiets to listen to him, Danny notes. Everyone else they’ll talk over, he must be important, be extra nice to him.
The three must sigh and sit back down at the table. 
“Cass, if you wouldn’t mind staying to keep them out of trouble overnight. I’m sure Alfred will see them out to school.”
Cass shrugs, then signs at Dick who responds “Of course!” Danny hadn’t realized that she was speaking sign language this whole time.
Bruce then turns to face Dick and Tim. “You have absolutely no way to keep us from coming.” Dick sing-songs.
“You both have work tomorrow.”
“Actually, Dick and I called out ten minutes ago, family emergency.” Tim shrugs. “We won’t be in for a few days unless things change.”
“Alright, go grab your things.” They both whoop and you can just tell they were both about to start running when they catch eyes with Alfred and just start walking really fast. “Pack light, and grab some changes of clothes for Jason!”
Before they can leave a phone starts ringing. They all look around before all eyes settle back on Danny. He feels around his pockets for where the phone is, before pulling it out and seeing his own number on the caller ID.
“Oh, it’s me!” Danny hurries to pick up as he hears someone mutter “Why didn’t we think of that?” from the table. Dick and Tim are almost immediately right next to him as he mumble out a hello.
“Um, hello, Jason?”
“Yeah, this is Jason. You with my family?” His heart thumps when he hears his own voice coming out the other side of the phone. It somehow makes the whole situation seem a bit more real then it did before.
“If the people that were in the room with you before are your family. I really only have confirmation that one of them is your dad.”
“Hey, we’re his family”
“We’re all his brothers and Cass is his sister.”
“Have those motherfuckers not even introduced themselves?” 
So much talking at once, Danny tries to focus on his own voice coming through the phone. It’s a little deeper than it usually is, gruffer and lilted like it’s trying to talk in an accent the mouth isn’t familiar with shaping. Danny supposes the voice he’s speaking with now must be doing the same.
“Sort of. Eventually.” Jason sighs loud enough to hear over the phone and Danny chuckles at the response. 
“Right, well your name is Danny right?”
“Yeah! Have you talked to my family yet?” They were all home the last he checked, and Jazz usually tells him before she heads out. 
“No, haven’t left your room. Your name was on your homework though.”
“Oh, please do not judge the homework.” Danny rubs a hand down his face just thinking of that - his homework- being his soulmate's first real impression of him. 
“Didn’t even look at that part. So, I’m assuming that you guys are coming to me?”
Danny shakes off the embarrassment “I think so?” 
“Of course we are!”,  “Was he not paying any attention as we decided who should go?”, “We were just planning.” There are so many people talking at once again.
 Danny pulls his face away from the phone and turns to the room at large “Stop it, buzz off!”. He turns to face a wall and takes a few steps away.  “They said yes.”
“Please tell me they’re not all planning on coming.”
Danny hums, focused on something else. “Look, I do need to warn you…” what if he goes ghost, can he go ghost with Jason in his body? What are his parents working on today? “ about a few things actually. Jazz, my sister, her room is across the hall and she’ll be able to help you if you. I sort of have… like a medical condition. I would rather explain that to you in person, but she’ll watch out for you if you go meet her.”
“I can do that. Anything I should look out for?” Weird ice mist coming out of your mouth would be pretty unexplainable at the moment, but random things shooting at him can be avoided!
“My parents leave all kinds of weapons around the house, and sometimes they’ll target me-you- at random, so try not to touch anything, and either stay upstairs or have my sister take you somewhere in town. Whatever you do, don’t go in the basement, the lab is down there.” Almost everything in that lab is to be avoided, although since he is already in Danny’s body he shouldn’t be bothered by the potential radiation.
“Kid, what?” 
“This is really an in-person talk.”
Danny does not know how he would explain this over the phone, with a room of eavesdroppers behind him. Although they’ve become respectfully quiet, more whispers than anything now. 
“Sure, okay. Find Jazz, preferably leave the house.”
“Yep!” That would be best, Jazz will definitely help him. “Is there anything I should know?”
“Shit, if I had time I would give you a warning about everyone in my family individually, but for now… I don’t know if this will translate over…” It will, but there’s really no way to explain that. “I have… I guess it’s sort of a health condition as well. My family knows what triggers it, and they should be on their best behavior right now anyways, but if you wouldn’t mind putting someone on the phone I can threaten them properly.”
Danny laughs and puts the phone on speaker before calling out to the room, “You’re on speaker!” so everyone in the room knows as well as Jason. 
“I swear to god if any of you scare him, hurt him, or anything I’m going to kill you. I know everything you love and if you don’t act normal, just know, it will be destroyed.”
“Yeah, yeah. Jay, this is your soulmate!” Dick has bounded back over to Danny, right up in the personal space. 
“Also, most of us love you so that threat doesn’t work as well as you think it does.” Steph yells from the table, where she continued eating at some point.
“Bitch, I died once, I’ll do it again. Don’t test me on this right now.”
Danny starts laughing so hard he doesn’t register everyone else in the room having frozen at the outburst.
“Oh, wow, same.” Danny gets out once he can breathe again.
The room is staring at him again, but they seem to do that a lot.
“You must be Jazz.” They hear coming through the phone. “I’m Jason.”
“Jazz!” Danny calls out. 
“Danny would like to talk to you.” There’s a small shuffle. 
“Danny?”
“Hey, Jazz! So, apparently I’m the younger, so today’s the day. I’m with his family right now.”
“You have a plan? Are you coming home?”
“Yeah, just. Would you mind keeping an eye on Jason until I get there? It’s going to be a long drive so could you make sure nothing shoots him and that he gets edible food?”
“I’ll take him to Nasty for dinner, don’t worry.” Danny sighs in relief, he knew Jazz would help, but he did not need his soulmate food fighting with dinner.
“Sounds good, he’s in my body so he shouldn’t really be poisoned but Mom and Dad still can’t really cook. Speaking of which! He is in my body so if anything happens with the, um, medical condition, help him through that as well.”
“Of course, Danny.”
“Thanks Jazz! We were just deciding who was coming along, but apparently, it's about a 12-hour drive? So, you guys won’t see us until tomorrow.”  There’s a lot unspoken in this conversation, but Danny knows she’ll do her best. “Try not to interrogate him, and no psychoanalyzing!”
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daycourtofficial · 22 days
Text
Now I’m in exile seeing you out
Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 4k | warnings: none
Summary: a follow up to you’re losing me - You've reached your tipping point where you can't forgive Azriel's constant choice of work over you. Can he fix things? Or did things get wildly out of hand and it's too late?
Author’s note: you guys loved part one, hopefully this offers a satisfying conclusion 🥰
2k celebration masterlist
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Your new apartment was quiet, not even your neighbors were making noise. You had grown accustomed to the silence the past few months - Azriel always being gone had left the house a certain way - too large, too quiet, too much without him. This silence felt different.
It wasn’t full of expectation - of wanting Azriel to come through the door or expecting him to treat you like he did in the before.
Now you’re in the after, your finger feeling light from the lack of the ring on it. Fae don’t usually wear rings - a human custom that Feyre had told you all about, one that Azriel found quite romantic.
“So that way when we are buried and our scents are gone, if anyone found our bodies, they would know what we were.”
His words were romantic, but now the tan line on your finger just made you feel hollow, as if this wasn’t supposed to be happening.
Any sound you made just echoed through the too empty space - you had foolishly gotten rid of most of your previous furniture when you and Azriel bought a house - your new furniture not arriving for a few more days. Feyre had found you this apartment rather quickly when you showed up at the River House in the middle of the night, uncertain of where else to go. She and Rhysand had agreed to let you stay there until you found a place of your own and they also agreed to not tell Azriel where you were.
“We could start fresh,” you had said to him, mainly wanting a good enough reason to throw out the couch you’ve had for half a century. But now all the new furniture was left behind, in a house too big for one occupant, probably laughing at your past words.
A knock at the door interrupts your thoughts, and you look through the peephole to find Feyre standing outside with a large plant of some sort. You unlock the door, letting her in. She gives you a soft smile and hugs you, the absurdly large plant making it somewhat difficult to get your arms around her.
She chirps a greeting to you, rubbing your back gently as you pull back from her. She knew why you had done it - you spent several nights over the past year on her couch crying to her over Azriel and his lack of time for you.
Behind her came Rhys, carrying several buckets of paint, rollers, tins, tarps. Your eyebrows raised, “is this your new art studio, Feyre? Are you going to teach Rhys how to paint?”
She giggles and Rhys rolls his eyes at you, setting the things in his arms down before kissing you on the top of your head. You lean into his touch before he pulls away, softly telling you, “we’re helping you paint the place - white walls are boring.”
In the days to come over the next week, you had multiple visitors. They all made you feel better while they were here, but whenever they left you felt that Azriel shaped hole in your heart all over again. Cassian had been the first after Feyre to visit, barreling into your apartment, nearly squeezing the life out of you once he got in the door, upset he had to wait so long to see you.
“Cass, it’s been four days.”
“The house’s not the same without you.”
“I highly doubt that.”
Cassian gave you a look that you didn’t like, and the two of you were teetering on the edge of the forbidden. You had asked Feyre to tell everyone they can come visit, but not to talk about Azriel in any way.
Unfortunately, much of Cassian’s life involves Azriel so he had a much harder time than everyone else. Any time he’d veer into Azriel territory, he’d quickly go, “oops” and cover his mouth very quickly, as if he had cursed in front of a child.
Elain had visited the next day, offering to help you prepare some potted window plants. The two of you walked through the Velaris markets, Elain prattling on about different kinds of plants. You knew she was trying to distract you, help you pick up the pieces of your broken life. So you picked out different plants for your windowsill, the weight of them in your arms much lighter than the weight of your emotions.
It was hard wandering the streets with Elain - this city felt so much like him, the streets littered with cafes the two of you frequented. Elain, whose presence you enjoyed greatly, felt like a stabbing reminder of what you lost.
You know Elain came in with you when you got back to your apartment, repotting the plants into the window planter she brought. Fresh dirt covered their roots, allowing them to grow in their new place. You can’t remember what Elain spoke about, just nodding along with her until you eventually found yourself alone again.
Each day brought a new member of Azriel’s family to visit, and you loved them, truly loved them, but it was hard to feel like they were coming for you as opposed to coming on behalf of him. You knew they loved you, despite whatever was happening between you and Azriel, but your interactions were always colored with him in the background.
You had been expecting Nesta to show up when you opened the door to find Azriel looking back at you.
You were a bit surprised at the restraint he maintained waiting so long, a whole week passing since you had left, but you said all you wanted to say in that note. You wanted him to feel awful, to finally see how you were feeling.
You just hated that it came to this to get him to see you.
He looked terrible. His shadows were pooled at his feet, darting towards you with affection, dancing around you. His wings were practically dragging on the floor, his shoulders sagged, his hair was a mess. His eyes looked lifeless, his jaw covered in stubble.
Good.
“Azriel,” you bit out, not an ounce of affection in your tone. “May I help you?”
“I want you to come home.” His words were clipped, agitation clear in his voice.
“This is my home, you may come in for a few minutes if you want to talk.”
You didn’t really want to invite him in, wanting him to stand outside your door, feeling as unwanted as you had for so many months. But you had new neighbors, and you weren’t sure you wanted to find out how nosy they were with this conversation.
The sight of him made you so angry, but a tiny part of you wanted to reach out to him, running your fingers through his hair, and coax him to come to bed so the two of you could actually sleep.
He shut the door behind him before turning back to you.
“Please, come back. I’ll be better.”
Your hands nestle onto your hips, your jaw rotating in annoyance. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
He sighs, his feet moving of their own accord across your floor, pacing back and forth on the hardwood floor.
“Was I not enough for you?”
His words send you into a tailspin of rage, your vision going red. “Azriel,” you say, voice rising, “that’s a funny thing to ask, when you were never there! I gave you everything. Endless excuses, endless empathy. I spent so much time telling people that what you were doing was okay, that I forgot it wasn’t! You weren’t there!”
His hands run down his face, shaking his head in denial. His shadows swirled the room, and you could hear them whispering to him, but what they were saying you couldn’t make out.
“You’re the one who decided that everything I had wasn’t enough for you.”
Your words hit their mark, and the Illyrian before you halts and removes his hands from his face, looking nothing like the formidable soldier he was, but rather the boy he had been. You take a deep breath, opening your door once more behind him.
“I needed you to risk something, I needed you to choose me.”
You stop forward, pushing him through the threshold.
“Most of all, I needed you to choose yourself, too.”
You shut the door on him, leaning your forehead against the wood. The place was suffocating you with its silence. It was a new silence, compared to the one you’d wait in while Azriel was off.
This one felt full of hope and possibilities.
-
Three decades passed since that fateful night, but you could still see Azriel’s eyes in the shadows some nights. You hated burning candles - the way the shadows flickered and danced reminded you of the shadows that curled your fingers, the ones that kept you company whenever Azriel spent too long away.
You had dated here and there since Azriel - none of them lasting more than a few years. They were fine - all attractive, all nice, but they all ended for one reason or another. One moved to a different court, which you didn’t want to do. Another’s mother didn’t like you and it just didn’t work out after that. Several relationships fizzled out because there just wasn’t a spark between you two. You felt cursed, unlucky in love, destined to be alone.
Or perhaps destined to always be heartbroken.
It wasn’t all bad - you just weren’t lucky with romance. You had fallen back in love with Velaris a few years after leaving Azriel, the city lights coaxing you back. You had actually considered leaving entirely, the city feeling too much of him.
Until one day, about five years after you left, you had walked the Sidra one night, the reflections of the street lights giving the city and the river a new glow.
It enchanted you, waking you up from the stupor you had been in for so long.
After that, you spent a lot of your time around Velaris - running events for the city, making friends with several of the business owners. It felt good to find a new support system in the city - one not connected to your ex boyfriend.
You clutch your coat tighter around yourself as you weave through the streets of Velaris, heading back to your apartment. You walk by some apartments, a few men standing around outside, their boisterous laughs making you feel uneasy. One of them starts calling for you, but you ignore his words and walk faster.
You heard footsteps behind you, and you turned a corner hoping he’d stop following you.
“Leave her alone.”
You knew that voice - the deep timbre one you heard in occasional dreams, calling to you even after all these years. You stop your fast walking, turning just in time to make eye contact with those hazel eyes you’ve been dreaming of forever. You can’t run - he’s already stopped still at the sight of you, as if time was stopping for this unexpected reunion.
He stands behind the guy who was following you, his face peering over the male’s shoulder at you.
“She your bitch?”
Azriel’s growl shocks you, and the male turns, allowing his siphons to glow bright in the night. The male stops his chuckling, replaced with deep apologies, running off in the other direction as Azriel moves closer to you, and the two of you start walking in the direction towards your apartment.
The streets are quiet as Azriel follows your lead, his boots scuffing the cobblestone street. It felt strange to be next to him again, the wind rippling against the skin of his wings a sound you never thought you’d hear again.
He clears his throat, “sorry about them.” He gestures behind himself before adding, “I saw them yelling at some female and just wanted to keep anything from happening.”
You look up at him, drinking in his appearance. Thirty years had passed since he came to your apartment that day - since you yelled and screamed at him. You had wanted to yell more that day, but you were so drained from how things ended, you just wanted to move on. He looked much the same - his jawline sharp, his large nose littered with the freckles you loved so much. They were more prominent now, likely a result of the summer sun. His hair was a little lighter, cut a little shorter than you remembered it, the curls lightly dusting the top of his forehead.
You had hardly spoken to much of his family recently, your new job and not living in one of their properties making it quite difficult to schedule dinners and lunches. The last time you saw any of them was either when Elain visited you about six years ago or when you saw Cassian in a coffee shop, a tiny babe in his arms some odd years ago.
You had caught glimpses of the inner circle over the years - a wave to Feyre across a restaurant, the sight of Rhys’s smirk through a window, the bookshop clerk down the street mentioning Nesta. Glimpses of their lives, but you never allowed yourself to stop for too long to get caught back into their orbit.
You had once been so integrated into the family, but it was hard to continue when you pulled away from Azriel. They loved you, you knew that, but they were his family and it never felt quite right without him, every one of your conversations with them overshadowed by the lack of Azriel. So, you had pulled back. It’s not what they wanted, it’s not what you wanted, but it was what you needed.
So many things were the same, but he somehow looked lighter, as if the weight of the world weren’t on his shoulders anymore. It made him look so free and so beautiful.
Maybe he found someone who could finally help against his demons.
“It’s quite alright - I actually should thank you for that and for walking me home. I wouldn’t feel comfortable walking home alone after that.”
You two continue on in silence, the only sound your shoes against the cobblestones and the fae moving about on the streets, heading off for their nights to start as yours ended on this strange note. The silence was lingering for too long, old emotions stirring beneath the surface. You had to break the tension.
“Is Cassian a dad now?”
Azriel’s eyes widened before throwing his head back laughing. You had almost forgotten just how beautiful that sound was. Almost. “Fuck no.”
His chuckles bounce off the streets of Velaris as he mutters, “but he and Nesta still fuck like they’re desperate for one.”
“But I swear I saw him out with a kid with wings a few years ago.”
Azriel stops to think for a moment before squinting his eyes a bit, “do you remember the issues we had with wing clipping?” You nod, remembering how just the details of some of the things Azriel’s seen at the hands of his people made you queasy. “We helped a few of the women escape the camps - we’ve been trying to make safe spaces for them to live in to prove to the males that they don’t need them. It’s slow, but we’ve got a few dozen living in and around Velaris.”
Wow, you thought. Your smile is genuine as you congratulate him, “that’s impressive, Az!” He shakes his head at your celebratory tone. “Really, I know progress is slow with them, but that’s great.” You beam up at him before scratching the back of your head, “but it still doesn’t explain the kid I saw.”
“A few of the females brought their kids with them, and Cassian likes to spend time with each of them one-on-one. He says it’s a good excuse to get ice cream, but I think he just likes seeing them have a present male in their lives.”
You two continue winding through the streets, a cool breeze lifting through your hair. It was so odd to be here with him, odder still for this to feel normal. Azriel clears his throat, his voice a bit uncertain, “I’ve been uh delegating more.”
You pause, feet stopping on the road. They’re just words, nothing more, but Azriel’s never delegated. A true perfectionist to his core, he never even considered delegating any task Rhys asks of him. You turn to look at him, his hazel eyes looking back to you full of regret and longing.
“I’ve been uh, using some of the spies under me more. I’ve been trusting them with more important work.”
The two of you reached your apartment door, the same one Feyre had painted silver all those years ago. You can hear his shaky breath as he continued. “I don’t deserve you. I never have. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I don’t-“ he sighs. “I don’t deserve you, but I do deserve love.”
His voice breaks at that and some piece of you shatters all over again at how poorly he was treated to never feel like he deserved anything good or kind.
“This is coming out all wrong,” he huffs, tugging lightly at some of his hair, “but Madja’s been helping me for a long time. I- it’s so hard to let me be deserving of love. I always felt I had to earn it. I felt I had to do the impossible things asked of me and that would finally make me worthy.”
He sighs, a slight thump from the door as he leans his forehead against it.
“I am worthy of being loved. And so are you.”
His hands are shaking, but his shadows wrapped around them, forming something similar to tight fitting gloves, offering some kind of security to him to continue.
“If the damage is too much, I understand. You can tell me to fuck off at any point. But if… if you would let me, I’d like to.. I’d like to show you that I’m trying. That I’ve been working on myself.”
You continue to look up at him, gobsmacked at this confessional from him.
“It’s hard. I couldn’t make progress overnight, hence my long absence. But I have made progress. I’ve uh actually been taking days off. I started going on trips to Day and Summer a few years back. I read three books at the beach a few months ago, actually.”
He laughs at the absurdity of his trip - a vacation. Something he’s never done. To spend days on his own, nothing but a book to keep him company is all you’ve ever wanted from him.
A pause. A breath. But he keeps going, needing to get his jumbled thoughts out of his head and into yours.
“It’s been a long time, but I think about you every day. I’ve probably made a fool of myself out here, but if there is any way you aren’t seeing anyone and if any part of you misses me at all…” He trails off, his fist lightly hitting the door. “I just wanted you to know that I’m trying. I’m bettering myself. I am better. I know it’s late, but..”
He trails off, unsure of how to finish his sentence. Your silence was eerie, leading him to keep talking, his words unable to stop.
“I just- I never wanted things to get here. I was foolish, and I didn’t appreciate you. It took you leaving to realize I could not continue like I was… I can’t.. Let myself hurt the people I care about anymore.”
You stay rooted, pressed against the door, not moving.
They were just words, the same things that hurt you over the years of broken promises and missed dates. But they’re so thought out. He’s had thirty years to mull things over, and he feels so much lighter than before.
You’re conflicted, but the optimist in you wins out as your voice finally finds you.
“Show me.”
-
Every Sunday for several weeks at 8 AM Azriel would stand on your doorstep and knock gently. You would open the door and he would present you with a bouquet of flowers - varieties of colors and species made their home on your dining room table as the weeks go by.
The two of you stroll through the city. The city you loved so dearly and for so long, parts of it feeling impossible to look at without thinking of the male next to you.
He would usually open up with some story about Cassian or Rhysand to break the ice. Then he’d tell you about his week - where Rhysand had sent him off, what he did on his days off that weren’t Sunday, anything that stood out. The two of you wander the streets, only stopping for occasional treats to eat while continuing your walk.
As the weeks go by, he starts filling you in on the past thirty years. For a long time, he saw Madja almost daily. She began providing him with herbs that helped regulate his moods, helped him sleep better, and helped him feel better. She also began having him comb through the deepest parts of himself he tried to forget, the memories of that little boy abandoned in that dungeon. He’d also tell you about how the rest of the Inner Circle was doing - Feyre and Rhys were trying for a baby, Elain was traveling a lot, Nesta and Cassian were… Nesta and Cassian.
Now he only sees Madja every other week, and she seems quite impressed by his progress. She should be, you think, he’s a far cry from the male you kicked out of your apartment all those decades ago.
After a few weeks, you began opening up to him as well. How hard it was to leave, your relationships in your time apart, how empty everything had felt without him, how you’d developed some strong friendships in the years apart.
“I had to pick up the pieces of myself too, Az.”
His heart pangs with guilt, but you reach out for his elbow, eyes bright with beginnings.
“I always wondered what I’d do if you came back to me, but I never thought you’d be how you are now. You seem so… light?” Your voice comes out more like a question, and you chuckle. “You just seem so different, but in a good way.”
“I feel different. I feel like I’m not… like I’m not that little boy anymore. Like I don’t have to prove myself to be loved. If not by you, by someone.”
His words linger in the air and you couldn’t help the pride that swelled in your chest at his words.
“I do want it to be you, though. If you’d have me, that is.”
Your heart wanted you to lean forward, wanted nothing more than for you to wrap yourself in his embrace. But before either of you could move forward, you had to know, one way or another.
“Why did you keep pushing the wedding back?”
Your voice was soft and shaky, but the question had been lingering on your mind for so long, it was on the tip of your tongue every time the two of you met up.
“I couldn’t tell you before because you would have been so nice about it, but I- I thought I was ruining you. I didn’t want you, so kind, so wonderful, to be tethered to me for all eternity. But I was too selfish to let you go. I still am, I suppose.”
He shrugs, his shoulders folding inward toward you, his wings drooping a bit. “I know now how ridiculous that sounds, but I.. wanted you but I also wanted better for you.”
He turned toward you, his skin shining like gold in the sun. He was radiant - a word hardly ever used for him before. He looked as Helion does, as if the sun was redirecting its rays through him.
“So I became better for you, for myself, for my family.”
And that was what you needed to hear. It was never about you (in many ways it was), but at the end of the day, you always wanted what was best for the both of you.
And he became that.
On a beautiful summer day, you stood on your tiptoes, your hands reaching upwards to pull his face into yours.
And by gods even his kisses felt lighter.
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serpentandlily · 7 months
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Arcane - Azriel x Reader
Azriel x DeathGod!Reader
Summary: Azriel never thought he’d find his mate, was convinced the Mother hadn’t even given him one because he was unworthy. That is, until he stumbles upon his mate while looking for the most unusual ally.
Based on this request.
Warnings: very brief illusion to past SA
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
“We’ve exhausted all our options,” Rhys declared, dropping his head into his hands. “I’m afraid another war is on the horizon. Koschei cannot be dealt with alone.”
“I don’t understand. The weaver and the bone carver were able to be killed,” Cassian interjected. “Why is it impossible for us to find a way to kill Koschei?”
“It took the might of the cauldron to defeat them,” Rhys explained.
“Well, then let’s ask Miriam and Drakon if we can use the cauldron,” Cassian replied, giving the obvious answer.
“It would be no use,” Feyre sighed. “I destroyed the book. We’d have no idea how to cast the spell the King of Hybern used that day. And we risk Koschei, himself, getting his hands on the cauldron.”
“There’s got to be another way,” Mor chimed in. “Something, someone, that could be as powerful as the sorcerer himself. He wasn’t the only God that found their way to Prythian.”
“Most of them are locked up in the Prison,” Rhys said. “And the Prison would not allow us to free any of them even if we wanted to.”
“Az, how has your search for Bryaxis been going?” Feyre asked.
“Not good,” Azriel answered honestly. “It’s like that thing disappeared from Prythian entirely.”
The room was silent for a moment until Amren sat up straight. “Wait, there is someone we could go to for help. As a last resort.”
Rhys lifted his head, staring at her with a heavy resolve. “No, absolutely not. It is too dangerous.”
“You said it yourself, we’re out of options!”
“What are you two talking about?” Feyre asked, looking between them.
Rhys let out a long breath. “Bryaxis…had a sibling. If you could even call her that. Someone who also came from wherever he slipped through from.”
“And why haven’t you mentioned this before?” Mor asked with a glare, crossing her arms.
“Because,” Rhys started. “Like I said, it’s too dangerous to get into contact with her. She’s…well, to be honest, no one really knows much about her. She keeps herself in a dark cave somewhere in the middle. Likes the darkness as much as Bryaxis does.”
“If no one knows much about her, then how do you know she’s dangerous?” Feyre asked. “Everyone was scared of Bryaxis until I went down there and was helped by it.”
“I’ve been told stories of her from my father,” Rhys explained. “How in the past, long before any of us were born, she could cause the fall of entire armies. Could level any court into rubble and dust.”
“And if that’s true, then doesn’t it speak to her character that she hasn’t done any of that? Maybe she is good of heart,” Mor suggested.
“We’re out of options, Rhys,” Amren said. “She might be our last hope.”
“Fine,” Rhys sighed. “I guess we better get ready for a trip to the middle.”
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
“Alright, maybe this was a bad idea.”
Azriel glanced at Cassian to see him frowning as they stood in front of the dark cave. It was just him, Cass and Rhys who had come here to try and find this creature to ask for help. But it seemed Cassian was already losing his nerve.
“I tried to tell you,” Rhys muttered under his breath. “Azriel, can you scout ahead with your shadows?”
As soon as those words left Rhysand’s mouth, Azriel’s shadows darted ahead, trailing into the cave in a flurry. Azriel’s eyes widened as he was left standing completely bare, exposed. Not a single shadow had stayed with him, which was unusual. He tried to brush it off, tried to hide how uncomfortable he felt without them.
They waited expectantly but his shadows never returned. Azriel’s brows furrowed in confusion.
“I can’t call them back,” he said to his two brothers watching him. “They aren’t listening to me.”
“That’s…unusual,” Rhysand said, stroking his jaw.
Nothing more was said as the darkness in the cave seemed to grow and grow, almost extending out towards them despite the sun overhead.
“Who are you?”
The feminine voice was sensual yet sweet, playful almost. Nothing like he had been expecting. It struck something inside of Azriel, making his chest ache. Rhysand stood up straight, switching from brother to the High Lord in a mere second.
“I am Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court,” Rhys answered, plucking a piece of lint from his coat. “If my sources are right, I believe you are y/n, sister of Bryaxis.”
“That I am,” the voice answered. “Why are you here? No one ever dares come here.”
Those words might’ve seemed like a threat, but her tone was light, curious.
“We’ve come to beg a boon,” Rhysand answered honestly. “There is another Death God who threatens war. We have been unable to stop his efforts.”
“Nobody has ever asked for my help before,” the voice said back in that same curious tone. “And what of Bryaxis. Will they help as well?”
“Bryaxis…Bryaxis was freed by my High Lady. We have been unable to find them.”
A step in the darkness. Another. Light footsteps came closer and closer to the edge of the cave. Azriel’s heart rate picked up, his hand falling to truth-teller. Cassian’s face was white and he looked ready to flee.
“You are afraid.”
It was not a question. Just a statement. But Rhysand answered it like it was.
“Bryaxis is made of nightmares,” he explained. “Something so terrifying to us. Perhaps you do not see it the same way but I imagine you are much the same and that is why we are…nervous.”
A laugh. A light, lilting laugh. Something sparked in Azriel’s chest.
“Me and Bryaxis are not made of the same thing, but opposite. A balance for our world,” the voice said. “Bryaxis is made of nightmares but I am made of dreams.
“Then why do you hide in the shadows?” The question came out of Azriel’s mouth before he even realized he was speaking. He could see his own shadows now, twirling in the darkness as if they were home.
“When we were captured, Bryaxis caused them fear so they were locked below the earth.” Her voice was sadder now, more serious and Azriel found himself hating that. “But I-I caused them…something different than fear. So they kept me locked in their bed chambers for decades, centuries, until I was able to escape. But then I learned those that did not desire me, feared me instead for the same reason. I was either caged or hunted. That is why I hide here.”
A shiver ran down Azriel’s spine. His face hardened at what she was implying. The fae who had captured the two Gods had locked one beneath the library and had used the other for…He felt sick to his stomach.
“If you are to help us,” Rhysand spoke, “I can promise you that we have no intention of keeping you locked up at all.”
“I do not trust the fae. Bind your words to magic and perhaps I will help you in return.”
“What is it that you want from us?”
It was silent for a moment, as if she were pondering.
“A place to stay. A place to live. Somewhere safe from being hunted or kept as a prisoner. A chance to live in this world, outside of this cave. To get to experience all that you do. That is what I wish for.”
Azriel knew that wish. Knew it all too well. For it was one he had for years while being locked in his father’s dungeon. So maybe that is why he found himself stepping closer to the cave, found himself unafraid of the darkness that had captured his own shadows.
Maybe that was why those words slipped out of his mouth before he could think of the repercussions, before he could be held back by one of his brothers.
“I will promise you that, y/n. I will promise you the opportunity to experience life outside of this cage, outside of the darkness.”
He could feel the heavy stares from his brothers on his back but he didn’t turn around, didn’t look anywhere but that darkness, even though he felt so exposed without his shadows.
Another footstep.
And another.
Until a figure began to emerge from the darkness, finally stepping into the light.
Azriel’s breathed hitched, his eyes widening in surprise. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but it hadn’t been this.
Because before him now stood the most beautiful female he had ever seen. The type of beauty only a Goddess could possess. The type of beauty that had his head spinning, had his heart palpitating in his chest.
She smiled and he felt the whole world pause in that moment. It was a sight that would bring any male to his knees. A sight that could start wars.
She held out a small, delicate hand.
“Then I will help you, shadowsinger,” she said.
He mindlessly took her hand in his, shaking it as the sting of magic burned on both of their skin forming a bargain tattoo on the inner wrist. He looked down at it to see what the magic had created out of their promise to each other.
Swirls of shadows with a small lunar moth emerging at the end. A creature that sought light, finally leaving the darkness.
When he met her eyes again, those beautiful expressive eyes, he stumbled back a step. Stumbled as a golden thread unwound itself in his chest and pierced straight through the universe to the female standing before him.
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
The battle lasted thirty-seven days. Koschei was defeated, the females he had spelled were freed. Beron had been exposed for helping him and was killed by Eris finally, bringing a new leader to Autumn.
And things were finally at peace.
“What are these again?”
Your index finger poked at the spongy thing on your plate. It smelled sweet, good. And it was warm to the touch. You glanced up to see the shadowsinger watching you, amused.
“Those are pancakes,” Azriel answered with a chuckle.
“Pancakes,” you repeated, slowly, testing the word on your tongue. “I thought cakes were desserts. Not breakfast.”
“They are a bit different from cake. Made in a pan instead of baked in the oven, hence the name,” Azriel explained.
You hummed in response, taking a bite out of one of the pancakes. “Hm, just as sweet as cake.”
“I might’ve added a bit more sugar than normal to them,” Azriel said, rubbing the back of his neck. “To satisfy that raging sweet tooth of yours.”
Your cheeks heated, that ticklish feeling in your stomach came again. A feeling you had never felt before this month and still had yet to make sense of. It made something in your chest ache when you looked at Azriel.
“You made these?”
Azriel nodded. “Someone slept through breakfast with the others.”
Your cheeks turned even redder.
“You should’ve woken me up,” you muttered before stuffing more bits of pancake into your mouth.
“You deserve to rest, y/n.” Azriel was still watching you with that little glint in his eyes. “After everything, you deserve to rest.”
Since coming to Velaris to help with Koschei, Azriel had been the one to show you around, to help you learn the customs of the fae. He had so much patience for you and your endless amounts of questions.
The others had helped you as well, had welcomed you into their home with open arms, but there was just something special about Azriel. You felt some sort of pull towards him. As if the darkness inside of you called to his.
He was beautiful, more than any God or male you’d ever seen before. And beneath his icy exterior, he was sweet and kind. Thoughtful. Witty.
You enjoyed being with the others but you preferred times like this, when it was just the two of you. He was less shy, more at ease, when it was just you. And something about that made you happy.
Seeing him smile, even when it was just the faintest expression, brought you joy like you’ve never felt before.
And Gods, he brought out so many emotions you had not felt in a very long time, some you hadn’t even known you could feel. You had begun to crave his presence. Desire it. You wondered if he felt the same.
“Did you still want to come with me to the city today?”
Azriel’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. That’s right, Azriel had cryptically told you he needed to pick something up from Velaris today. When you had asked him what he was getting, he had refused to answer.
“Yes, I would like to.”
“We’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.”
An hour later, you found yourself in Azriel’s arms, flying down to the city. Your heart was pounding in your chest at how closely he held you, like he was afraid you’d suddenly fall from his arms. You kept your own arms around his neck, playing with the ends of his hair.
You still remembered the few hours after the last battle. The showdown with Koschei had left you depleted, covered in wounds, but otherwise okay. Still, Azriel had burst into your tent with panicked eyes and only seemed to be calmed when you had let him tend to you like a mother hen.
You didn’t know what to make of his behavior. But you did know that being in his arms made you feel safe.
“Can we get more of those honey mooncakes on the way back?” you asked, trying to distract yourself from the ticklish feeling in your stomach again.
Azriel laughed, his chest rumbling against your body as he tightened his grip on you. “That sweet tooth of yours really is insatiable.”
“I didn’t get to finish mine from last time,” you said in defense for yourself. “Cassian got to them before me!”
“Well, next time tell Cassian to go get his own,” Azriel said. His breath ghosted against the tip of your ear, causing a trail of goosebumps on your skin. “I buy them for you, not him.”
Once again, you found yourself with red cheeks and a swelling heart. Ever since he had discovered your sweet tooth, Azriel had a habit of leaving sweet treats out for you. At first, he found it hilarious that a Death Goddess craved pastries of all things. But now he found it just downright adorable.
When the two of you returned to the House of Wind, you found Feyre and Mor waiting for you. You barely got out a small goodbye to Azriel before they were pulling you away, telling you it was time to start getting ready for the night.
Tonight was Starfall. Something you hadn’t seen in centuries. The girls helped you get ready as day turned to dusk and finally night.
“Come on, we’re going to be late,” Mor giggled, leading all of you out of the room and up to the main balcony. You could already hear the crowd and the music.
You felt nervous as you reached the top, your eyes instantly darting around to find that one person you were always looking for these days.
Azriel stood with Rhysand and Cassian, dressed in all black, finely tailored pants and a matching coat. He looked handsome, yet still beautifully lethal. The darkness and light bounced off the elegant planes of his face, causing his hazel eyes to glow golden.
When he caught sight of you, those eyes widened and you felt them roam your entire body. You’d always hated being looked at in such a way, but not with Azriel. Never with him.
In fact, you found yourself getting heated under his stare.
Rhysand and Cassian moved to their respective mates, leaving you to greet Azriel alone. He took your hand in his, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.
“You are stunning,” he whispered. “Absolutely stunning. Happy Starfall.”
You blushed. “Thank you.”
Azriel gave you a rare smile that had your heart pounding. You peered at the crowd, watching the faeries enjoying their evening. Azriel stood with you, his fingers brushing against yours in a comforting gesture. He knew you weren’t the biggest fan of crowds, not when your presence was met with so many stares of both fear and desire.
“What are they doing?” You looked at the crowd of faeries that seemed to all be paired off, moving to the music from the band.
Azriel’s lips twitched, like they always did when you asked him a question like this. “They’re dancing.”
“Dancing,” you repeated. The word sounded familiar, like something you had known in a past life. You had spent so many years in that cave, you had turned into a mere shadow of who you used to be.
“Would you like to dance?”
Azriel had turned to look down at you, running a hand through his hair. His shadows curled around his wings.
“I don’t think I know how,” you whispered.
He held out his hand to you. “That’s alright. You can follow me lead.”
You bit your lip but decided to take his hand. He had promised you a chance of experiencing the world as it should be. He hadn’t led you astray yet.
He pulled you to the dance floor and you mimicked the other pairs, keeping one hand in his and placing the other on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around your waist, yanking you closer to him.
The music started up again and Azriel began to lead you through the dance. It was easier than you thought it would be or perhaps he was just a good lead. Still, it wasn’t long before you were smiling and being twirled around in his arms.
You danced like that for a while, basking in the feeling. The soft music, the laughter, the gentle faelights above you. You had never felt so alive. And it was all thanks to the male who held you in his arms.
A slower song came on, some pairs leaving the dance floor. You looked around in question until you realized the pairs who had remained held a more intimate position. You copied them, placing your arms around Azriel’s neck.
Both of his arms wrapped around you now, resting on your lower back.
“Is this okay?” He leaned down to whisper in your ear.
You nodded, letting him drag you even closer until your bodies were pressed together. The dress you were wearing was thin and you could feel all of him through it. His hard chest, his sculpted muscles.
Azriel swallowed audibly, swaying you gently to the music. You laid your head on his chest, letting him rest his chin on top of your head. Every inch of you that touched him was on fire.
You closed your eyes for a moment, just letting yourself feel this, embrace it. You’d never felt like this before. So warm and light. It felt like it was just you and him that existed.
That is until you opened your eyes. You suddenly felt overwhelmed as you noticed lingering stares. A lot of them. You felt uncomfortable under the weight of them.
“What’s wrong?”
Azriel had some sort of sixth sense when it came to you. He always seemed to know what you were feeling before you said anything.
“Everyone’s looking at me,” you muttered under your breath, staring up at him.
He raised his head, looking around with narrowed eyes. That caused most of them to look away, not wanting to risk the shadowsinger’s wrath.
“Come on,” Azriel whispered. “I know somewhere we can go that’s more private.”
He enveloped you in his shadows until you were stepping out of the darkness and into a rounded alcove somewhere else on the balcony. Vines dangled down from the roof, trailing down the pillars holding it up.
You stepped forward, placing your hands against the stone railing. You could see the crowd below, the one you had just been in. Still hear the music and still see the night sky. You turned to face Azriel.
“Thank you,” you said. “I-I just hate it when they stare. Like I’m some weird creature.”
Azriel stalked forward until he was right in front of you, so close you had to tilt your head up to look him in the eyes.
“They don’t stare at you because they think you’re weird,” Azriel replied. “They stare at you because you are beautiful.”
His hand rose and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Your heart skipped a beat. Your mouth parted to say something but a roar of cheers cut you off. You whirled around to see thousands and thousands of stars beginning to soar through the sky.
Your mouth dropped open. It was more beautiful than you remembered. The stars kept falling and falling, like cascading fireworks. So bright and breathtaking. You couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped your mouth, standing on your tippy toes to lean over the balcony as if you’d be able to reach the stars.
An arm circled your waist and Azriel’s front was pressed against your back as he held onto you.
“Careful,” he whispered in your ear, scared you were going to tip right over the edge and fall down the steep mountain.
“So beautiful,” you murmured, staring up at the stars. “Oh, it’s so much better than I remembered it from all those years ago.”
“It never stops amazing me,” Azriel said. “No matter how many times I watch it.”
You both watched in silence for a little longer, letting the music and laughter and cheers fill the space. Eventually, you turned in his arms, now pressed against the railing.
“Thank you,” you said again, “for bringing me here.”
“Anything for you,” Azriel whispered, raising a hand to rest on your cheek. His eyes were filled with a reverence that stole your breath away.
A brush of magic zipped by in the air and you gasped, raising up your wrist. The tattoo was gone. The bargain had been fulfilled. You had defeated Koschei and Azriel had given you the opportunity to live a life more than you had dreamed. That chance at life was in your hands now.
“The tattoo is gone,” you said, grasping his arm and pulling back his sleeve.
Your eyes widened to see his tattoo still there. The lunar moth emerging from the swirls of shadow.
“Wha—”
“I got it tattooed,” Azriel cut in. “Permanently.”
You glanced up at him in question. “Why?”
“Because I always want a reminder of what I promised you,” he said, his thumb stroking your cheek. “What I still promise you, y/n. A life worth living. I want to continue showing you the world, to be there when you experience new things.”
You were speechless. Completely, utterly speechless.
No one had ever shown such devotion to you, such care and love. Your heart swelled up, your chest ached.
“Azriel,” you stuttered out. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he replied. “I was trapped in the darkness once too. I know what that’s like and I never want you to fall back into it. I don’t need anything from you, just the chance to be there with you while you learn, while you feel.”
Something was building inside of you, building and building until it was ready to break out. You rubbed at your chest, at the unusual feeling.
“I feel this…I feel this thing inside,” You said, gesturing to your chest. “Do you know what this is? Do you know why I feel this way?”
Azriel grabbed your hand and placed it on his chest, in the exact same spot yours ached.
“It is the mating bond,” Azriel answered, softly. “I feel it too. Right here. I have since the day I met you.”
His shadows swirled around like they had been waiting for this. You felt your own darkness rise in response until the two had joined together, watching together from the dark crevices.
“A mating bond,” you repeated.
Something snapped the moment you said it out loud. As if a question you had been asking your whole life had finally been answered. A gold thread was woven between the two of you, a beacon of light in the darkness. A place for that moth to call home.
You gasped looking back up at Azriel. Now that you recognized the bond, it grew more taut. You stumbled closer to him, fisting his coat in your hands.
“A mate,” you whispered. “You're my mate. I..I didn’t even know Gods could have mates.”
“Say it again.” Azriel’s voice was as dark as the shadows. A shiver ran down your spine.
“Huh?”
“Say it. Say that I’m your mate again.”
“You’re my mate,” you whispered, looking up at him through your lashes. “My mate.”
A quiet whine came from the back of Azriel’s throat that sent heat between your legs. Your eyes widened. A muscle in his jaw clenched. The air around you was charged and you felt like you had been set on fire.
“And you are mine,” Azriel growled. “My mate.”
His possessive tone only made that heat grow. Your lips parted, a small breath leaving your lungs. His eyes glanced down to your lips, hungrily. You gave him the smallest dip of the head, the permission he was waiting for.
Azriel surged forward and crashed his lips against yours. You stumbled, your backside hitting the stone railing behind you. You met his vigor with your own.
His lips were soft and warm. And his kiss felt like heaven and hell all mixed in one.
He groaned as you deepened the kiss, tilting your head back to give him more access. You yanked him closer, wanting to feel him everywhere. You never craved someone as much as you craved him.
His tongue swiped your bottom lip and you opened for him, letting him claim your mouth. His scent was intoxicating, he tasted like pure sin. You could drown yourself in him.
Your hands trailed up from his chest to circle around his neck. His own hands were holding you by the waist, pulling your hips into his. They traveled down your thighs until he was lifting you up, seating you on the stone railing, never pulled away from your kiss.
You parted your legs, letting Azriel step even closer as he finally pulled away, trailing kisses down your jaw to your neck. You whimpered at the feeling of his canines grazing the sensitive skin.
His nose traced the column of your throat before he rested his forehead against yours. You were both panting, both completely lost within each other.
“Wait,” Azriel breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. “I got you something. I don’t want to forget to give it to you.”
Because he would. He would forget his own name as long as the sweet scent of your arousal filled the air. Would forget the whole world existed if you kept staring at him like you were.
He pulled a small black box from his pocket, handing it over to you.
You opened it, gasping at the beautiful ring displayed inside. It was made of gold with a mesmerizing amethyst gem in the shape of a teardrop, accentuated by crescent moons on both sides and tiny stars.
“Azriel,” you breathed out. “This is beautiful.”
A small smile ghosted his lips.
“May I?”
You held out your hand and he pulled the ring out of the box before sliding it onto your ring finger. It was the perfect fit. You admired it, twisting it under the faelights to see the gem glow.
“It’s perfect,” you sighed.
“I had it made just for you,” Azriel said. “It’s what I had to pick up in the city today.”
“I-I really don’t know what to say, Azriel.”
Azriel rested his forehead against yours. “Just say it again. Tell me you feel this too. I’ve been searching for you for over five hundred years now and I just need to hear you say it. Again and again. Until I can wrap my head around it. Until I realize I’m not dreaming.”
You smiled, lifting up to press a small kiss against his lips. Your heart fluttered in your chest at his words, at the realization of why exactly the bargain had been fulfilled. You had asked for someplace to be safe, for a home, a chance to live. Azriel was giving you all of that and more.
“You are my mate. And I am yours,” you murmured against his lips. You pulled back to look him in the eyes. “All I’ve ever wanted was to find somewhere to call home. Being with you, being in your arms—that feels like home to me, Azriel. The one I’ve been looking for my whole life.”
Azriel’s eyes searched yours, as if he was trying to find the lie in your words. But there was none. Of course there was none. You were falling in love with him.
“Does this mean you want it?”
“It means I want you. I want all of you, everything.”
Azriel smiled and the sight nearly blew you away. You giggled as he held you close to him, buried his face in the crook of your neck. He kissed your throat once, twice.
“Then I think we’re due for a long vacation,” he murmured against your skin.
You knew what he was referring to. The frenzy that would come with this. Just that thought alone caused a tantalizing ache between your thighs.
“I think so too,” you whispered back as Azriel pressed kisses up your neck and jaw.
He held your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing against your skin as he stared into your eyes. His gaze was filled with so much promise, so much love. And then he kissed you again and everything felt right in the world. You were home.
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illyrianbitch · 2 months
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Words of Affirmation
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Pairing: Reader x Cassian
Summary: Even the Lord of Bloodshed gets insecure sometimes. As his mate, you always know the right words to say.
Warnings: established relationship fluff :)
Word Count: 2.3k
just a quick sweet fluffy piece to make up for all my angst. dedicated to the one and only @sarawritestories
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
Cassian would never admit it, but the assumptions of his intelligence bothered him. He was always a brute, a mindless warrior, a soldier— nothing more. He knew, deep down, that his brothers rivaled him in all matters of the mind. They were more collected, more capable with familial matters and court affairs. Simply put, they were smarter. 
And he had accepted that— at least, he told himself he had. After all, he was talented where it mattered. He was a good male, a good friend, a good brother, a good commander— and amazing in bed. So truly, it shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did when his meeting with Eris went sour. 
Cassian entered the room with heavy steps, a frown on his face as he began to peel off his coat, each movement slow and heavy with frustration. A part of him hoped that he could shed more than just the layer of clothing, hoped that coming home would rid him of the insecurity that had threaded itself through his ribs.
You observed him quietly, taking in the way his muscles tensed and released with each motion, the subtle clenching of his jaw, the deep exhale. He hadn’t looked at you yet, hadn’t made his classic entrance. On most days, Cass would return home with a huge grin, door thrown wide open as he bellowed out your name with a burning heart.
But he was quiet today. And you knew exactly why– you could feel it through the bond. Cassian was sad. 
Your footsteps were quiet against the wood floors as you slowly walked towards him. 
“Things didn’t go well?” 
Your voice was soft and gentle and the sound of it sent a ripple of relief through his body. Still, he felt heavy. Tired. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he finally discarded his coat onto a nearby chair. “I don’t know how Rhysand does it.”
“Does what?” 
“This whole diplomacy thing, even Azriel. I just… I couldn’t. I'm too stupid for it. Just an idiot.”
Your heart clenched at his words, a heaviness settling on the glowing bond in your chest. You wanted to console him, to fight and kill whatever it was that was unsettling him so deeply. But the thing that was causing Cassian pain wasn’t anything you could fight yourself. It was his own mind, the insecurities he was too afraid to acknowledge. 
Before you could open your mouth to respond, he waved you off with a frustrated gesture.
“I know, I know,” he murmured, his tone heavy with defeat, “I’m just whining. I’ll get over it.”
You frowned, letting out a small breath. 
“No, don’t say that,” you said gently, taking a step closer to him. “You’re allowed to be frustrated. But you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
Cassian’s brows furrowed.
“I’m not?” 
You took in the sight of your mate for a moment, took in his long hair and brown eyes, took in the stubble on his jaw and the way he let out a small breath. You extended your hand to him, voice low as you murmured, “C’mere, honey.”
He hesitated for a moment before he gently took your hand and closed the distance between you, large arms wrapping around your waist as he looked down at you. 
“You are a big ole’ dummy,” you teased lightly, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you put your hands around his neck. You felt Cassian melt into your touch ever so slightly, eyes shuttering closed as a small hum left his lips. “But you are brilliant. Like really fucking smart.”
Cassian’s eyes opened to meet yours, somewhat narrowed in skepticality. You rubbed the nape of his neck with your thumbs. 
“I mean, you’re a war general. You’ve commanded hundreds of soldiers, have won countless battles– wars, even. You couldn’t get away with those things as an idiot.”
Cassian grumbled, but you caught the hint of a smile dancing in his stormy eyes, felt the tension in his shoulders beginning to ease. A wry chuckle bubbled up from deep within him as he shook his head, his lips quirking up in a brief smile.
“Well, I don’t know about that one, we have Beron and Tam-”
You rolled your eyes. 
“Would you just let me compliment you?” You interrupted with a gentle shake of your head, eyebrows raised as you looked at him. 
A soft chuckle escaped him. “My bad.”
“You are so incredibly smart,” you repeated earnestly, slightly pulling him down and urging him to place his forehead against yours. 
He stayed quiet for a moment, his gaze heavy as he searched for something in your eyes. He seemed to find it as he gave you a small smile. “You really think so?”
You pulled yourself back gently, dropping your hands from his neck to take his in your own. Then, you gently guided one hand to your chest, letting him feel the steady rhythm of your heartbeat beneath his touch.
“Does it feel like I’m lying?” you asked softly.
Cassian’s expression softened as his gaze flickered to where your hand held his. You watched as a glow of warmth lit up his eyes. 
“No,” he said quietly, “It does not.”
And then he was bringing his hands to hold your face, leaning in to kiss you tenderly, his lips a gentle caress against yours.
He wasn’t sure if he believed it yet, if he was comfortable enough with considering himself to be smart, let alone brilliant. But you, his beautiful mate, the love of his life— you thought he was smart, you thought he was brilliant.
And truly, that's all that mattered to him. 
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
It wasn’t that he was insecure about his looks, no, that wasn't it. 
Cassian knew he was attractive, knew that he was hot and ruggedly handsome. He knew from the looks that he got from females and males alike, from the scent changes that he caused, and the lovers he had bedded. 
But sometimes, when standing next to Rhysand and Azriel,  Cassian would catch himself wondering if he was rough around the edges in ways that his brothers were smoother, more appealing. After all, they were the two more classically pretty males, the more softly attractive and very often audibly complimented. 
And then there was him, the rough warrior. 
Attractive, yes, but pretty? Elegant? Those were never words used to describe him. 
There was a soft glow in your room tonight, gentle shadows casted across the bed from flickering fae light. Cassian let out a deep sigh as he prepared to climb into bed, his muscles aching and head heavy as he shed the remenands of his day. 
You watched him with a tender gaze as you lay on the bed. The faintest hint of a smile played at the corners of your lips as your eyes traced the lines of his face. Cass caught your gaze with his own, a warm hearty brown that made your heart flutter. 
A playful smirk tugged at his lips as he noticed your lingering stare. "You like what you see, sweetheart?" 
You grinned, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth as you tilted your head. "Always.”
With a grin of his own, Cassian began to crawl towards you. The mattress dipped beneath his weight as he closed the distance between you, his eyes never leaving yours.
"Admiring how absolutely handsome I am?” he said, “How Incredibly sexy?" 
You let out a small laugh as he reached your face, his body hovering over yours. With a gentle hand, you pushed back his tousled hair, your touch feather-light against his skin. A soft sigh escaped him, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as he savored the warmth of your touch. His lips wore a content smile. 
"So beautiful," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you traced the contours of his face with your fingertips.
He pulled back slightly, his eyebrows knitting together as his eyes scanned your face. You ran your finger along the crease that they created. "Beautiful?" 
You nodded, a soft smile gracing your lips. "Yes, beautiful. Maybe I don't tell you enough."
He chuckled softly as he leaned into your touch, heart swelling with warmth at your words. There was a new flutter in his chest that he didn’t recognize. For a moment, Cassian felt shy— he wasn’t quite sure why. But he laughed it off all the same. 
"That's a word reserved for you, sweetheart." 
You shook your head, your fingers trailing down his cheek to cup his face in your hands. "My beautiful mate,” you whispered, "My handsome, gorgeous, incredibly sexy, and beautiful mate." 
For the first time in a while, Cass was stunned, unable to respond as quickly as he was used to. Your words held a certain reverence to them, a sincerity that made him melt into your touch— made him melt into your voice itself. Before you, Cassian never knew himself as something gentle, as something capable of softness and sensitivity. But here he was before you, in all of his warrior glory, feeling like a child with a playground crush. And there you were, staring at him like he was the most exquisite thing you’d ever laid eyes on. So when words failed him, Cassian did the only thing he saw fit. 
He leaned in to kiss you tenderly, bringing his lips to yours softly. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him in closer, feeling his warmth against you as he smiled into the kiss. From deep within your chest, you felt a glow— a deep, ethereal, and overwhelming glow. 
Beautiful, his mind echoed, beautiful. 
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
You let out a soft sigh as you settled onto the couch with Cassian, pushing yourself further into his warm chest as he wrapped an arm around you. You’d spent the night at the River House, drinking more wine than you could handle and eating almost all of Elain's sweet desserts. There was a smile on your face as your eyes closed, your hearing quickly tuning into the heartbeat of your mate below you. 
You frowned when the sound began to quicken, echoing like a drum in your ears. You pushed yourself up, slightly turning your body and placing a hand on Cassian's chest. When you looked up at him, his face was scrunched, his gaze distant as if lost in contemplation.
Cassian wore a specific face when he was troubled, furrowed brows and a downturn of his lips. He wore it was he was sad or frustrated, when he had thoughts that plagued him at night. The face before you was a troubled one, indeed. But it was less rough than the others he bore, more vulnerable.
You slightly tapped against him with your palm. Cassian blinked at the sensation, then he slowly looked down to meet your eyes with his own. You let your chin fall gently on his chest. 
“What's wrong?”
Cassian managed a smile, shaking his head as he brought his hand to run over your hair. “Nothing.”
You frowned. “Tell me.”
For a moment, Cassian’s thoughts traveled again. Mor’s laugh echoed in his mind, wine glass in hand as she pointed at him. You have the subtlety of a war horn. You’re so loud I can hear you across Prythian. I don’t know how Y/n handles it all the time.
"Am I too loud?" 
His voice came out rushed, drenched in a tinge of what you could only describe as worry— even doubt.
A flicker of surprise passed through your features. “What?”
He let out a sigh. “I don’t know. Mor said something tonight, it just got me thinking.”
“Mor says a lot of things. Especially when she's drunk.”
“I know.” He nodded in agreement, tongue running across his teeth before he let out another sigh. “But she had a point tonight.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Did she?”
He took a moment to take you in, to trace the features of your face with his eyes. Absentmindedly, he ran his hands through your hair. 
“Maybe I am too loud.”
Cassian's voice was defeated now, lips naturally falling into a frown. The crease between his eyebrows was still there as he peered down at you, hand still caressing your head.
You stared at him for a moment before you responded. "You're so loud." 
A flicker of disappointment crossed Cassian's face. But before the thought could spread through his mind, a soft smile graced your features. You gave his chest a small kiss. “But I love it. So very much.”
Cassian’s eyes lit up, a sense of release evident in his features as his lips curved into a smile. The crease between his eyebrows faded. "Really?"
"Absolutely," you affirmed, your voice filled with a sincerity that made his heart flutter. "My world would be too quiet without you."
Cassian’s eyes softened as he looked at you, his thumb gently swiping loose strands away from your forehead. “Yeah?” 
You nodded against him, chin still resting on his chest. “I hear everything I love in your voice.”
He smiled, the bond deep within him singing as he stared at you. He felt you tug at it, felt a roll of warmth run through his body— something gentle, something loving. And for a minute, Cassian could have cried at the sensation, could have cried at the way you looked at him, at how happy he felt. 
With his heart swelling, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.
“I love you,” he murmured, voice filled with a depth of emotion that he couldn’t quite express in words. He hoped that you could sense it, that you would hear those words and know everything he was trying to say— that you would understand just how much you meant to him, how your love filled him with a sense of peace and belonging he never knew he needed.
With a contented sigh, you snuggled closer to him, feeling his now steady heartbeat beneath your cheek. “I know,” you said, “You practically scream it from the heavens.”
Cassian let out a deep laugh, the sound reverberating through his chest. You felt his body move from under you, felt as the sound caressed you like a pair of warm hands. 
As his laughter subsided, Cassian pulled you closer to him. “I’ll keep shouting it so you’ll always hear it,” he whispered.
A warmth spread through you at his words, a feeling of love so strong it was tangible through that sacred tie that connected you.
“And I’ll keep listening.”
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
me not writing angst?? (i’m about to write the most gut wrenching pieces ever) unheard of. but we love a sweet established relationship <3
permanent tag list 🫶🏻: @rhysandorian @itsswritten @milswrites @lilah-asteria
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acourtofwhatthefuck · 7 months
Text
Practice On Me — Part Eleven — Azriel x Reader
Summary: Reader receives a much-needed pep talk in Velaris and gets thinking. Azriel receives a lecture in Windhaven by a frustrated Rhysand. Reader is surprised by an unexpected visitor to the City of Starlight.
Word count:
Warnings: A little bit of smut, 18+, minors dni.
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Velaris feels like an entire world away from Windhaven.
You’ve been here only once before, when, as mischievous fourteen-year-olds, Rhysand had brought you. The High Lord had been in another court on business, which had seemed like the perfect time for Rhys to show you his other home. Only, his father had returned early, and had thundered — hard enough to shake the mountains — about strangers entering the shielded city without formal invitation. Not you, nor Cassian, nor Azriel, had been back since.
And that lingering encounter was why, when Roza brought you here three days earlier, you’d been nervous about coming face-to-face with the High Lord yet again.
But the handsome, roguish male had merely given you a long, slow perusal, and then smiled a charming smile — about the only thing Rhys seems to have inherited from him — and welcomed you to his home for as long as you do so please.
It’s tranquil, there’s no doubt about that. Light and airy and so beautiful that you can forget, for a time, that there’s a world outside the City of Starlight. You’ve spent the last three days at Roza’s side, exploring the city and helping her run light errands, and attending to her at the end of the day when the pregnancy tires her out.
The High Lord — Finadar, or Fin, as you’ve learned most people call him — does no such thing. He does not visit his pregnant mate after long, tiring days. Does not summon her.
Despite the growing new arrival in her belly, there’s a distinct lack of love between the two of them that surprises you, perhaps more than anything else.
But tonight, with Roza joining him for a public appearance, you’re left alone with your thoughts for the first time in three days. And you’re desperate to do anything to fight them off.
You wander the long, spacious halls of the High Lord’s opulent home, warm, despite the brutal mountain range that stands guard around it. This is a level of luxury you were never built for, and don’t quite know what to do with. You read from Roza’s broad selection of literature, and gorge on sweets in the kitchen, and slide along the polished floors on your socks, because why the fuck not.
It’s better than thinking. Anything is better than thinking.
But as the night wears on and the silence gets too loud, it’s hard to keep deeper thoughts at bay. Your heart aches relentlessly over the broken shards of your loving friendship group that you don’t know how to glue back together. Your mind swoons longingly over old memories, old smiles. You’re a hollow vessel of complications, and regrets, and excruciating love—
“I heard you were here.” A trilling voice echoes from the far end of the hall you’re traversing.
You turn, and you think you might choke out a strangled noise of relief at the sight of shimmering, golden curls and warm, brown eyes, huge like a doe’s.
Mor looks far better than the last time you saw her, that’s for sure. She’s always radiant, no matter what she has going on, but the sun-kissed glimmer has returned to her skin, and the gaunt fragility from her hardships has been snuffed out by delicious, enviable curves.
You’re in front of her in what feels like a few great strides, and she’s cupping your face in her hands and kissing both of your cheeks.
“I’ve missed you.” You breathe, realising, in that moment, just how much you have. She doesn’t spend as much time in Windhaven as she used to, and gods, the absence of a sincere female friend is a weighty one.
“I’ve missed you, too.” Concern fills her eyes as she studies you.
“Rhys, Az and Cass aren’t here. It’s just me—”
“I know.” She links her arm through yours. “And let’s be glad of it. I’ve had enough of males to last me a damn eternity.” She’s barely taken a few steps forward before she’s stopping and studying you again. “Roza tells me you’re having a hard time.”
Just like that, you feel yourself begin to crumble. There’s something about the concern of others that utterly obliterates the walls you try to craft around yourself.
And at the first glimpse of tears filling your eyes, Mor is tugging you along again.
“Come.” She says. “I know where the High Lord keeps his stash of booze.”
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“You don’t ever come to Windhaven anymore. Why is that?”
There’s the slightest tensing in the set of Mor’s shoulders as she returns the stopper to a decanter containing dark amber liquid. She turns, handing you a glass.
“I figured you knew.” She says. “My father is being strict about me not spending time there.”
On some level, you think you did know. It’s not hard to figure it out.
For a time, Mor was a pretty frequent member of your friendship group, visiting as often as she could — until a few years ago, when a fight broke out between Cassian and Rhys, and then Mor just stopped coming around. The matter was swept under the rug and not mentioned again. But with her father being so strict—
“Ah.” You murmur, the pieces clicking into place. “Cass, huh?”
Mor snorts softly. “Yes. Cass.” She shakes her head fondly. “Before you ask, no, I don’t have feelings for him. Not like that. It was just…a choice I made for myself. And I’ve never regretted it, even if my father is determined to make my life hell because of it. But I didn’t come here to talk about me.” Her eyes rake over you. “Tell me everything.”
So, you do. The words come spilling out of you in a flurry of shame and heartache. You tell her every damn detail and spare none. And when you’re finally done, you take a breath and wonder — not for the first time — how the fuck you’ve managed to create this situation for yourself.
Mor frowns at you. “I—” She seems genuinely speechless. “Cauldron, I thought my situation was complicated.”
You shake your head. “I’ve made such a mess of things, Mor.”
“Why haven’t you told Azriel how you feel?”
“I wanted to. Gods, I planned to. But I supposed walking in on him and Kaeda made me realise that there’s no point.”
“First of all, that’s bullshit.” She takes a seat opposite you. “Love is one of very few things that there is always a point to. Your self-loathing my try to convince you otherwise, but it’s always better to be honest and face whatever outcome than suffer in silence and wonder what would have been.”
You open your mouth, but she’s holding up a hand.
“Secondly, I don’t like the sound of this Kaeda one bit. I know almost nothing about Fenlaros, but what I do know is that she must have some sort of backing — not just that of her Camp Lord father — that gives her the ability to flounce in and out of a rival camp at her leisure without a single consequence. And that tells me she’s up to something. And that makes me nervous that it’s Azriel, of all people, that she’s attached herself to. Not that Az isn’t a total catch — of course, he is. But he’s also a very, very rare gift who always has sights set on him. I’d wager that that plays into Kaeda’s interest somewhere.”
You fall still in your seat, staring back at her.
You feel damn stupid for not seeing what she’s laid out before you with such clarity.
“You…don’t believe Kaeda’s interest in Az is genuine?” You ask. “I wondered why she was hanging around Windhaven, but I didn’t think…”
“I think she has ulterior motives.” Mor shrugs. “And if Az is in a blinding haze of lust — or even love — it’s not something he’s going to see for himself. He’ll need proof.”
“How could I possibly give him proof of something I’m not even certain about myself?”
“Perhaps you should play Kaeda at her own game. Do some sniffing around her and see what you find out. You’d only be looking out for Az, after all.”
Would you, though? You can’t deny that your feelings, your jealousy, would play a part. You should want, for Azriel’s sake, Kaeda to be genuine, whether your heart would get broken or not. But what you truly want is to show Az that—
That you’re better for him than she ever would be.
You want nothing more from or for him, than to make him happy.
You drag your lower lip between your teeth in thought. “What if it blew up in my face, though? I could just…end up making Az even more mad at me than he already is.”
“Which brings me to my third point. Why are you allowing Az to act like you’ve done anything wrong?”
“I slept with Cassian…”
“Welcome to the club. Tell me, Y/N. are you tied down to anyone?”
“Well, no—”
“Did you and Az agree to only have sexual relations with each other?”
“No—”
“Have you ever sworn off exploring such things with your other friends?”
“No, Mor.”
“Then Azriel has no right to be freezing you out the way he is. Is it messy? Yes. Have you created some tricky drama for yourself? Also yes. But he’s a damn hypocrite if he’s chastising you in one breath and jumping into bed with Kaeda in another.”
“That’s the thing, though.” Your gaze lowers to the table. “He says he hasn’t done anything with Kaeda, and I don’t think he would lie about that. I think…had I slept with anyone outside of our circle, perhaps he wouldn’t have cared. But it being Cassian is just…a bit too close to home for him. Especially given that Az and I were doing things, too.”
The gorgeous blonde rolls her eyes. “So, it’s an ego thing. Give me a break. If he didn’t want you to sleep with anybody else, he should have communicated that. You both should have communicated better.” A soft sigh leaves her. “Listen…Az will sulk for a little while, because that’s just what males do. He clearly has things he needs to work through, and when he has, you should talk. But in the meantime, perhaps you should try to find some more out about Kaeda and her intentions — for no other reason than that Azriel is your closest friend and you’re looking out for him. Perhaps being in Velaris is a blessing in disguise — I’m sure the High Lord could tell you a thing or two about the Fenlaros lot, if you ask nicely.”
So wise, so brilliant, is Mor. A female with such a good head on her shoulders, despite an environment that tries to wreck her.
She just…rationalises things, in a way that you’re not able to. And you hadn’t even considered talking to the High Lord.
You take a slow, pensive draw from your glass as you think on it. And then you’re deciding, “Perhaps I will speak with the High Lord. There’s nothing wrong with showing an interest in a rival camp, after all.”
“No.” Mor flashes a feral grin. “There is not.”
Perhaps it’s selfish, something felt at Azriel’s expense — but setting yourself a little task like this is precisely what you need.
You’ve wondered for a while what the hell Kaeda is doing in Windhaven. You’re determined to find out, one way or another.
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Rhysand is balls deep and utterly lost in the male beneath him.
The noises that fill the room are sinful.
Midnight-kissed moans and panting as breathy and ethereal as a winter-chilled breeze.
This has been a long time coming, and Rhys is just so glad, in that moment, that he finally gets to be inside Zakai, that he thrusts deep and captures him in a full kiss. Zakai growls and grabs his ass, encouraging those thrusts.
Honestly? Rhys fucking needs this pleasure. Never did he think he’d actually be glad to get away to his room at the dormitories, but he needs a godsdamned break. Cassian’s sulking at the cottage has become unbearable since Roza swept Y/N off to Velaris.
If Cass and Az don’t sort their shit out soon, Rhys might just launch them off the peak of the nearest mountain.
Of course, they’d probably fight each other suspended in thin air, instead.
But he banishes those thoughts and gives himself entirely to Zakai, reaching down to fist at the pretty male’s cock. Neither of them will last long. This sex has been too highly anticipated, and it feels too good, and—
And the door is practically kicked in behind them. Azriel strides in as if it’s his fucking room.
“Get out, Az.” Rhys snarls, not faltering.
Az does not, in fact, get out. “Is it true Roza has taken Y/N to Ve—”
“For fuck’s sake.” He pulls out of Zakai with complete reluctance, grabbing clothes to cover them both. Zakai exhales a long sigh and tips his head back.
“Well?” Az demands. “Is it true?”
Rhys yanks some undershorts on. “Three days ago. You’d have found out sooner if you’d just quit your sulking and talk to us.”
“Why has she gone there?”
Zakai clears his throat, awkwardly shucking his clothes on. “Perhaps I should go…”
“No.” Rhys says.
But Az counters it with a dismissive, “Yes.”
The poor male stares between the two of them, and while he may have just been lying beneath the future High Lord, he doesn’t feel like getting in the way of a temperamental shadowsinger.
Rhys releases a yielding breath and grits his teeth. “Fine. I’ll catch up with you later, Zak.”
That’s all it takes for his pretty lover to leave, sex now a distant memory. Azriel shuts the door behind him.
“So?” He rounds on Rhys. “Why is Y/N in Velaris?”
Rhys rolls his eyes at his tone. It’s not exactly any use for Az to be frantic now. Bit too late for that, he thinks.
“Because she needed a break from this place. From you and Cass and Kaeda.”
“I told Y/N that Kaeda and I have not done anything.”
“And maybe you haven’t, Azriel. That’s your business entirely.” He throws himself onto the bed. “But have you stopped for five fucking seconds, amidst your brooding and self-pitying, to consider how it might have made Y/N feel to be the practice run?”
Azriel goes preternaturally still. Doesn’t know what to say.
And that’s fine, Rhys reckons, because he’s nowhere near fucking finished.
“You explored that intimacy with her under the pretence that you were merely refining those skills for another female’s benefit.” He continues. “Whether it was initially Y/N’s idea or not, you should have recognised right away that she deserves better than that. And then you had the absolute fucking audacity to get mad at her for sleeping with Cassian, at the same time she would naturally assume you were sleeping with Kaeda, when you actually have no right to be angry. So what if she slept with Cass? So what, Azriel, that she fell into the arms of somebody who actually made her feel chosen, and not like she was just a stepping stone to a greater pleasure?”
Silence.
Stunned, heavy silence.
This room is far too small for such strong, impassioned words. They hang threateningly in the air, and Azriel feels like he’s watching them fly towards him in slow motion like poison arrows closing in on their target.
And then the shadowsinger croaks, finally, “It’s not—like that. I never wanted it to be like that.”
Rhys shrugs. “I’m not sure you even know what you intended, Az. The whole thing is one big mess. I mean…why haven’t you had sex with Kaeda, if that’s what you were practicing for? Do you even like her?”
Az says nothing.
The lack of an answer is precisely what Rhys is expecting. Even makes his lips kick up into a smile.
He thinks he’s pretty damn wise, does Rhysand.
“I’ll wager,” he goes on, eyeing Az knowingly, “that the practice wasn’t about Kaeda at all. Perhaps it was, the very first time Y/N offered.” He rests his hands behind his head. “But then something happened between the two of you — perhaps a kiss, maybe even some touching, and you were struck down by a realisation that the rest of us saw coming years ago. That what exists between you and Y/N goes beyond friendship. What you have is something special. And getting a little taster of that under the ruse of practice sent you on a downward spiral. So many emotions. So much angst. Suddenly, you were acting irrationally, getting into fights. Not over Kaeda, no, but over Y/N. Seeing her with other males makes you feel sick to your stomach. And that is why you’re so angry with Cassian. Because he had sex with Y/N, and you want her, not Kaeda. You love her.”
Well.
Azriel may as well be standing there stark naked, for all Rhys has stripped him bare.
He feels like his skin has been peeled from his bones and a patchwork of ugly truths lies in its place. He wouldn’t be overly surprised to glance down and see writing covering every inch of his body in bold, alarming ink that reads: I AM IN LOVE WITH Y/N. I AM JEALOUS AND ARROGANT AND SELFISH. I AM SCARED.
He tries to swallow down the lump in his throat. It doesn’t budge. “I never meant to make her feel like that.” He damn near wheezes, the words punching their way out of his lungs.
Rhys softens a little. “We know that, Az. But as long as you try to run from your feelings, you’ll be kicking dirt up at the people behind you.”
“I don’t…don’t know what to do — about anything.”
“You just need to stop trying to fool yourself. You need to make use of your space from Y/N and figure out what, exactly, it is you want, and what, exactly, you’re going to do about it. You need to accept that mistakes have been made all round, but not one of them is unable to be fixed. And you should start by mending things with Cassian.”
On instinct, Az scowls. He may know Rhys is right — and damn him for it, too — but he still can’t help being angry at Cass. The thought of his hands on Y/N—
“Wipe that look off your face, Azriel.” Rhys says drily. “You both know you miss each other, and you’re just as miserable as one another because of it. I’m not saying you should fix it today or even tomorrow — take your time to brood, if you like — but something has to give eventually. And if you won’t fix things for your sakes, do it for mine. Perhaps then I’ll be able to fuck Zakai and actually finish.”
This — these glimmers of wisdom and authority and reason — are like a little window into what Rhysand will one day be like as High Lord of the Night Court.
Azriel is glad of his friendship, his counsel. Even if he’s not quite ready to act on the advice yet.
“It’ll all be alright, Az.” Rhys says, studying him. The shadowsinger looks…lost. “But you should take the time to work things out before Y/N returns to Windhaven. She doesn’t need any more drama, and neither do you.”
Right again, of course.
Az can only manage to clear his throat and nod, before rasping out a quiet, “I will. Thank you.”
Rhys dips his chin. “I do love you, you know. I wouldn’t put sex aside for a conversation with just anyone.”
His answering smile is unconvincing. “I love you, too.”
“And you love Cass. So don’t wait too long to talk to him.”
Azriel inclines his chin. “Sorry for interrupting.”
“I’ll forgive you this time.”
The shadowsinger shoots him one last look that says far more than he can articulate in that moment. And then he’s slipping out of the room.
And as he walks away, he can’t stop his thoughts from venturing to Fenlaros.
To how lost he would be without Rhys — and Cass, too — if he really did leave them behind.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
Roza is so godsdamned beautiful.
You can’t help feeling a little awestruck as you stand behind her, gently combing a brush through her night-black hair.
She stares into the mirror of her dressing table, her face a sheet of serene beauty. Through her nightgown, the swell of her bump shows proudly.
She seems pensive tonight, quieter than usual. Every few seconds, your gaze creeps to her reflection. Curiosity gets the better of you.
“Can I ask you something?” You part the strands of her hair, beginning to tie them into a braid.
Roza’s eyes lift to yours. “Of course, my love.”
It takes you a long moment to work out how, exactly, to diplomatically word what you’re thinking. You imagine it might be a touchy subject.
“…You and the High Lord….” You chew the inside of your cheek. “You’re not…not quite what I expected — together, I mean.”
You’ve never seen a mating bond up close, but you’ve read about them enough to know that they should be intense, passionate, a love that is so altering that it’s almost gut-wrenching. You expected to catch a glimpse of that with Roza and Finadar, to see a bond that you may never have the honour of experiencing yourself, for how rare it supposedly is.
What you didn’t expect was the huge distance that exists between them. Not a single person could miss it.
There’s no desperation to see each other, be in one another’s company. They sleep in their own quarters of the house and only seem to come together for public appearances. The whole thing is…bizarre.
Roza smiles wryly at you in the mirror. “You mean, you didn’t expect the High Lord and I to be as separated as we are?”
“I just figured…with a mating bond…”
“A lot of weight is placed on a mating bond, little dove.” She swivels on the stool to face you properly. “I had the same thought as you, when I was younger. Fin and I tried to love one another, but…the fact of the matter is that mating bonds aren’t always right. He and I are so different, and sometimes that can be a beautiful thing. But in our case, it certainly is not.”
Your eyes fall down to her bump. “But the babe…”
“This babe was conceived on a heat-of-the-moment, impulsive whim that shouldn’t have happened. Not that I regret it.” Her hand strokes over her bump. “But sex and love are two very different things. Fin and I do not love each other. I’m only in Velaris because he only trusts his healer to see me through this pregnancy. We are mates in the loosest definition, but we are not committed to each other. And he has no problem reminding me of that, with all the females he invites to his bed as though I’m not in the same damn house as him. He’s an arrogant, salacious lech — but he’s also the father of my children, and my High Lord, too. So I choose not to confront it, because I don’t care enough to. The babe and I will be back in Windhaven soon enough.”
It makes your heart ache, makes you feel sick, to think that Roza is on the receiving end of such treatment. She deserves better. Deserves the world. Someone who will worship her like the goddess she damn well is.
It terrifies you to think that…that you could just as easily find yourself trapped in such a dire situation.
“What worries you?” Her violet eyes are soft, warm, as she reaches up and presses a hand to your cheek.
You place the hairbrush down, leaning against the dressing table. Your hand finds hers with a sad desperation. “Is love doomed, Roza? Is it real? If a mating bond can’t hold up, what hope do I have—”
“You have all the hope, dove. And as you should. You will love, and you will be loved. You just need to have the courage to face it and all that it comes with. Fin and I are a bad match. But there’s no reason to believe you’ll see the same fate. So just…don’t give up. Be brave and love.”
Tears blur your eyes as you stare down at her. You can’t stop yourself from moving your joined hands, both yours and hers, to rest on her bump. “This babe is the luckiest child in the entire world to have you for their mother.” You whisper. “And I will be honoured, Roza, to help you in any way I can when they’re born.”
She lifts your hand to her lips and presses a kiss to the back of your palm. “And I will be honoured to have you by my side.” She cracks a smile. “Perhaps you can start with making me some ginger tea before bed.”
A soft, breathy laugh leaves you. “Of course.”
Her beautiful smile follows you out of the room and into the dark, empty hallways. You feel strangely at peace tonight, more so than you have for a long while. Most likely thanks to Mor’s pep talk.
But after you’re done in the kitchen, a steaming cup of ginger tea clutched in your hands, a pair of booming male voices reach you from the antechamber. It piques your interest at once.
One voice is certainly that of the High Lord, but the other sounds somewhat familiar, too — like it’s one you’ve heard before, but not enough to place who it belongs to. It’s a dangerous, gruff baritone of a voice that seems almost impossibly deep.
You should mind your business, walk away…but it seems strange for the High Lord to receive a guest so late at night. Seems…clandestine, in nature.
And so you stay light on your feet, inching towards the door and peering through to the giant, opulent antechamber.
And that’s when you see the High Lord leading Tathaln Baralas, Kaeda’s father, in the direction of his study.
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az tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes
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on-leatheredwings · 3 months
Text
House Arrest
Yandere! Batfam / Bruce Wayne x (Fem!) Reader
For a request, Munchausen's syndrome by proxy with Bruce? Like, he keeps reader sick so she can't leave him or interact with someone outside the family. And maybe the rest of the batfam is in on it?
[a/n: Didn’t know if you wanted this platonic or not so I didn’t specify! In my head its romantic with bruce though lmao]
> word count: 1581
> Tw: gaslighting, munchausen’s syndrome by proxy, yandere-typical behaviors!
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You sit in anticipation, foot tapping against the stone floor. There’s an entire miniature hospital set up for you down here in the Batcave. Respirators, diagnostics machines, and other expensive medical equipment that would be better served in Gotham General. 
Helping people recover. 
So patients could some day leave. 
You used to love being in the Batcave. It was the family’s little secret. When you officially joined the family, the Batcave was now your secret as well. But ever since falling ill months ago, bedridden with a sickness whose cause continues to elude everyone… being here is depressing. You now notice it’s damp down here. Dark. Lifeless.
Bruce sits at the Batcomputer, the screen’s light painting over his face in a green wash. You watch his eyes scan line after line of your results. Reminds you of a typewriter. Methodical. Orderly. Nearly inhuman. When he sighs, your heart stops. 
Fuck.
He turns to you, face grave. “You’re still ill.” 
Your eyes start stinging with an onset of tears that you furiously try to blink back. 
“... H-How ill? How bad? Am I any better?” you ask, as if bartering with him will make the situation any different. As if bartering with God ever made any difference for mere mortals such as yourself.
Bruce’s face is still. 
“You haven’t improved.” 
Your hopes crash down around you like glass. You aren’t better at all? Even though you haven’t had a fever in weeks? Even though you’ve been working out with enough energy to keep up with Damian? He was exerting perhaps only 10% of his effort, but still. Your lymph nodes aren’t even swollen anymore. Tim had told you as much, accidentally contradicting Bruce’s insistence that they had been earlier that morning. 
“But I feel better,” you croak. You hear footsteps behind you approach and you swallow drily, nearly hissing at the offender. It’s Dick, and damn him. You don’t want to be placated right now.
“Are you experiencing any headaches? Shortness of breath?” Bruce asks, eyes still trained on you. You try to recall. 
“... I may have had a migraine this morning…” At Bruce’s weary shake of the head, you blurt, “But it’s passed. I’m perfectly fine. And no shortness of breath.”
“... I’m sorry. But if you’ve been having symptoms like that, along with your being immunocompromised…” Bruce doesn’t even have to finish the sentence. You won’t be leaving the Wayne Manor grounds for a long time. 
Fuck. 
Fuck. 
You feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up and see Dick, whose face is somber but offers an encouraging smile. 
“Well, I’m back in town for the time being. We can hang out all the time.” His expression brightens as an idea pops into his head. “And I can call Tim, Jason, Duke–! Maybe even Cass and Steph… We can have a board game night tonight!” He sounds as chipper as you are miserable.
Damian approaches from behind, leaving the shadows. His arms are folded. “If that’s the case, I’ll humor Grayson and let him capture some of my fleet for once.” A popular choice was Risk, perfect for the family who’s entire lives revolved around combat and strategy. But you didn’t want to play Risk again. You didn’t want to have a board game night, no matter how many of the family came. You wanted to see people. 
Other people. Everyone here is your family. 
You want fucking friends again. You wanted a job again – a sentiment you would’ve laughed at even just five months ago. You wanted any semblance of a life again.
Bruce’s eyes haven’t left your trembling form once, two chips of slate-gray peering over steepled hands.
“Thank you, Dick. Damian. But I think she could use some time alone.”
Dick’s hand releases your shoulder, retracting as if burned. None of them are the boss here. It’s Bruce who is my warden, your mind whispers darkly. 
“Right! Don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.” Dick sees himself out, taking Damian with him. “See you tonight.” And that feels like a sentencing to your fate.
Now the two of you alone, Bruce stands, offering his arm wordlessly. You know what this means. You take it, linking yours with his without thought or protest. Bruce liked to ensure you were always within his reach, as if you were prone to fainting spells. This was less humiliating for you than him carrying you through the estate, you suppose. 
“Why, yes, let’s take a turn around the grounds!” you used to exclaim, making your voice posh and British, mimicking the regency romance movies you had been watching all the time. 
Now, months later, you just sullenly allow him to lead you. Your surroundings pass by and you vaguely recognize that you are exiting the Batcave, walking through the manor, and out into the never-ending expanse of a well-kept lawn. 
It’s a sunny, idyllic spring day after months of overcast winter. 
And thank god you could still traipse outside when you wanted, even if fenced in. Bruce told you when you had first fallen ill that he had installed some high-tech, anti-air pollution gadget. Wayne Manor was effectively your own personal bubble. Fresh air was the only thing keeping you sane, lately. 
You two pass by the garden, a labor of love Alfred started. You and Damian tend to it now… and mainly the latter, these days. You haven’t had any energy for gardening as of late. Fatigue is a symptom, you hear Bruce’s voice whisper in the back of your mind. But you don’t feel fatigue… rather, just depressed. But of course, isn’t fatigue a symptom of being depressed…? A familiar brain fog crawls into your mind. Your head was starting to hurt.
You look across the lawn, onto the horizon. Gotham’s dark skyline sits there, enticing. When night falls, it’ll glimmer and twinkle with light. There is a whole world out there. And, God, you love the Waynes, but they aren’t the world. You need to distract yourself. Bruce, ever the lover of pleasant silences, is going to have to distract you from thoughts that make you want to leap off the second story balcony of your bedroom.
Should you ask, “How’s work?” No. You find you don’t care. 
“How’s Jason?” you say instead, feeling Bruce stiffen at the mention of his most tenuous relation.
He wasn’t around as much, but when he was, he was always relaxing with you in your room. You have a whole shelf for the knick knacks he brings. “Don’t worry. They’re clean,” he’d snort at his former mentor, because Bruce required everything to be thrice sanitized before coming into your possession.
“... Better.”
You’re glad. That’s one good thing, you guess. 
“Bruce,” you croak. 
He looks at you, face alight in expectation. 
“Maybe I should just go,” you say, small and weak. Your eyes don’t leave the sight of Gotham skyscrapers, stretching to the sky. Bruce stills, stopping you both in your tracks.
“What do you mean, ‘go’?” he says carefully.
You remove yourself from his arm and gesture to the city. “Just go. Leave. I mean, I can’t stay here forever.” Bruce looks genuinely confused, as much as he can. 
“Of course you can.”
“No, I can’t!” you screech. Frustrated, you tear at your hair. “I can just be an outpatient somewhere– I can go for hospital treatments every week– or everyday– whatever!
Bruce places his hands on your shoulders.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Rage flares in you and you gnash your teeth at him. By now, that all-too-familiar brain fog has flooded your brain. But you try to fight it. You have to fight it. Like trying to crawl out of rapidly-sinking quicksand, you fight it.
“I-I know what I’m saying. I’m saying–”
“You’re saying to just let you die,” Bruce sharply returns. “To give up, let you die, and leave us to grieve.” 
“No–”
“Stephanie.” 
You meet his eyes again at the name, which are resolute and as blue as ever. 
“Cassandra. Duke.” Your stomach churns, imagining their smiling faces, turned into ash as your hypothetical passing. “Barbara.” 
“Bruce,” you croak, pleading inwardly for him to stop. 
“Damian.” 
“Tim.”
“Jason.” 
“Dick. Alfred.” You duck your head and your eyes meet the ground. The listing of all your loved ones pinches your heart, and you feel nauseous. You weren’t trying to leave them. You didn’t want to leave them at all. 
“... Me.” 
Your eyes sting with tears again. Why did he have to make it sound like that? Like you were seeking some selfish want, rather than trying to improve your quality of life. You feel your ambition and desire wane under the weight of guilt. You feel all sense of struggle start to disintegrate, lost to the fog in your head. Lost. You’ve lost.
Bruce’s eyes scrutinize you.
“As I suspected. You’re acting delirious. Manic. Delusional.”
Any semblance of protest dies in your throat. 
“What?” you say. But Bruce is already leading you away towards the looming doors of Wayne Manor, away from the green of the grounds. Away from the light of the sun, and away from the skyline. He comforts you with familiar lines on the way to your bedroom. 
You need rest. Alfred will brew his tea for you. I’ll call the kids to come tonight. We can play Risk. He pats your shoulder, stroking soft, deceptively warm circles with his thumb.
“You just need some rest.” 
And not for the first time, you believe he may be right.
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deadsetobsessions · 6 months
Text
Cassandra Cain knows how to read people. Every twitch, every micro-expression, every sway of their pupils.
She knows people better than they know themselves. She could pick out a person’s life without having to speak or hear a single word from them.
Language, without a sound.
Honesty, complete and unwilling, at her fingertips.
David Cain had beaten it into her; to observe, to read, to kill without protest. She was never a daughter to him- even if Cassandra hadn’t understood what love or being a daughter meant before she met Bruce- and she understood that.
There are scars lining her body, truths carved into her flesh that she knows she could never truly hide. But that’s alright. She’s learned by now that no one can read her quite as well as she reads them. Not even the metas. They notice it, of course, the tells and the twitches. But none of them could flawlessly put everything together like Cassandra could. They focus on the big things, like heart beat or sweat or flickering eyes. Cassandra takes note of the twitching fingers, the stances, the breaths, how lax their legs are, or which muscle groups are bunched up. She figures things out about them far before they even have a hint of her outer workings.
Cassandra Cain knows there is subtle faintness to her frame, a wildness lurking beneath her skin that she’s never going to be able to tame completely, the ways in which she leans that betrays her time as a starved and feral street kid. She also knows that no one will ever know the extent of it unless she allows them to. It’s nice, having that security.
It’s also lonely, that no one will understand her the way she understands everyone else. Well, until Danny Phantom.
Just like how she can see the scars left on him by people he trusted, the marks of crackling electricity behind a boy who should be dead, he also sees her. The training, yes. But Danny Phantom also sees the pavement like side to her where it should have been downy feathers. He sees the wildness prickling at her fingertips, the violence set in her bones.
And he still smiles at her anyways. His acceptance is screamed to Cass, though simply relaxed to anyone else.
Cassandra glides over to place a hand on Danny’s shoulders and squeezes twice.
Yes, she tells him without a word, spoken, you’re my little brother. I am not alone anymore.
Yes, she tells him without a sound passing through their eyes, we will protect you.
Danny beams up at her as the rest of the family relaxes. She still feels a thrill when she realizes (not belatedly, only slow comprehension) that they were waiting for her verdict.
She sighs in relief. Message received. Danny, eyes glowing green, leans back to rest on the couch.
He shrugs at her with a sincere grin.
And he even says thank you.
And he meant it.
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azriels-shadowsinger · 3 months
Note
No. 13 for Azriel please ❤️❤️🤌✨
“Everything reminds me of you, it's driving me insane”
Azriel x Reader
wc: 1.4K
a/n: kinda inspired by cardan’s letters. if yall read the cruel prince series then u know. get ready for some angst yall.
prompt list
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“This is the last straw Azriel. I can’t handle not being a priority in your life! You always choose Rhys, Cassian, Elain, work, or literally anything else over me. I have only seen you once in the past week, and we live together for Cauldron’s sake! I feel like I live with a ghost. You’re gone before I wake up and you return after I fall asleep!” You yell between tears. “I can’t do this anymore. I love you, but it is too painful to keep living like this.” Azriel realizes where this is headed.
“Y/n, please. I’ll be better. I promise!” He begs, desperation in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Azriel. You had your chance, multiple actually. It’s too late.” You turn away, unable to look at his heartbroken face without potentially giving in. You can feel his shadows attempting to reach for you as you walk out the door.
———
January 7th
Dear y/n,
Rhys won’t tell me where exactly you left to, but promised he would deliver this. I understand that you are angry with me and that you need some time to calm down. I hope that you will return soon so we can work this out. I love you and I’m sorry.
Sincerely,
Azriel
———
January 29th
Dear y/n,
Point taken, dear. I know I messed up, but it’s been weeks and I miss you.
I know you are getting these letters. Rhys said he ensured they would be delivered. I guess that doesn't guarantee that you will read them. Nevertheless, I am sorry for my actions and I am taking steps to create boundaries in my life so that I can have more time for you. I can prove it, if only you would just come home.
With deepest apologies,
Azriel
———
February 14th
My love,
I had hoped you would return before Valentine's Day. You always loved celebrating this holiday. I know you won’t see them, but I still got you flowers. They're on your nightstand.
It's been over a month. I miss your voice. Please come home.
Azriel
———
March 7th
Y/n,
If this is your way of punishing me, then consider it a success. I’m a wreck without you. Please come home.
-Azriel
———
March 30th,
My heart,
I am begging you to come home. Come home and yell at me, come home and fight with me, just please come home. I love you and I’m so sorry.
Always with love,
Azriel
———
May, 15th,
Y/n,
I understand what you meant about feeling like you were living with a ghost. Everything reminds me of you, and it’s driving me insane. I am haunted by these traces of you around our home. Please end this torment and come back to me.
-Azriel
———
June 7th
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Why are you doing this to me?
I hate myself for causing this and pushing you away.
Do you still love me? Do you even miss me?
Please come home I can’t take it anymore.
I love you I love you I love you I love you
I miss you.
———
Y/n,
This is my last letter. I won’t bother you anymore after this. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy. I will always regret taking your love for granted.
Eternally yours,
Azriel
———
It was another sleepless night for Azriel. He was plagued with the memories of every single time he chose something or someone else over you. He’s past the point of beating himself up over it, but rather, he considers this the worst punishment of all. Being forced to relive each memory over and over, unable to change it. Hating himself and drowning his sorrows in whiskey.
He hears a knock at the door. It’s probably Cass or Rhys, doing their weekly check on him, since he rarely leaves the house anymore. Azriel chooses to ignore them.
They knock again.
“Fuck off, I’m not in the mood tonight guys.” He barks in the direction of the door, taking another sip of his whiskey.
Another knock.
Cauldron boil him, his brothers were relentless. He was going to open the door, but only to yell at them to leave. He grumbles angrily to himself all the way to the door.
“I said I wasn’t-“ It's not Rhys or Cassian on his doorstep. Instead, he sees you, holding a stack of letters. His letters.
This is another dream, he thinks. He must have fallen asleep on the couch. When he wakes you will be gone again, having torn the rip in his heart even wider. But until then, he lets himself indulge in the dream. Azriel doesn’t hesitate for another moment before pulling you into a tight hug.
“My dreams must be especially cruel tonight because somehow I am able to smell your perfume. I can feel your heartbeat.” He mumbles, face buried in your hair. His shadows encompass you two, whispering in Azriel’s ear y/n, y/n, y/n
“This isn’t a dream, Azriel.” You say softly, pulling away to look at him and placing a gentle hand on his cheek. It takes him a moment to realize what’s happening, but as soon as he does, he pulls you back into a hug, even tighter than before. You feel hot tears fall onto your shoulder as his shadows surge around you.
“My love, my heart, my star. You came back to me.” He sobs. Your heart breaks at the pain in his voice. You had known he was probably upset about the breakup, but in an attempt to heal and move on, you never opened his letters… until last night.
After several long minutes of intense bear hugs, he finally manages to let go. Well kind of, he can’t seem to let your hand go yet.
“We should talk, Az.” You say nervously.
“I will do anything you want if it means you will stay.”
Gods, you were the worst person in the world. This poor male, who you still love desperately despite your best efforts, is so broken over you leaving.
“I’m not going anywhere, Az.” You reassure him. He finally loses a small bit of tension in his shoulders a the words, but his hands seem to hold tighter. You take a deep breath, trying to prepare for what you have to say.
“I didn’t read your letters until last night. I was trying to get over you, and so I avoided reading them. In an attempt to move on, I had convinced myself you were happy without me. But I couldn’t move on. I couldn't stop loving you. When I finally read your letters, I realized you truly had changed. I should’ve read them months ago. I should've never left. I’m so sorry Azriel. I understand if you need time or if you can’t forgive me but-“ He cuts you off.
“I forgive you. I don’t need time. I only need you here.” He’s so quick to dismiss every mistake you made, it breaks your heart. It will take a long while to reassure him that you aren’t ever leaving again, maybe a lifetime, but that’s okay.
You take notice of his dark circles and how skinny he has gotten. Gods, has he eaten at all since you left, you wonder.
“Let me make us some dinner, then we can talk more, okay?” Azriel nods and reluctantly lets go of your hand, following you to the kitchen like a lost puppy.
———
After several long hours of tears and brutal honesty, you and Azriel lay in your bed, embracing each other.
You spent the next week holed up in the house, reconnecting and reigniting your love for each other. You even took extra time to apologize to his shadows. They were very happy that you were back and made sure to show you so.
True to his word, Azriel never took your love for granted for as long as you both lived. And true to yours, you never left again.
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I think I may do this prompt again later with someone else in more of a rivals to lovers type scenario, but I kinda just felt like this was fun for this one and wanted to try it idk
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azrielsdove · 6 months
Text
Rejected: Cassian x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Slight Violence, Suggestive Scenes
***
He was drowning. The pain was too much. His heart had been ripped out of his chest, shattering his bones. He was done. He was going to die. He couldn’t remember anything before this pain. He didn’t know who he was or his own name. He was already gone, it didn’t matter if his body stayed alive. He was dead.
***
You were running, feet barely touching the steps below you. You had seen Nesta come to the Riverhouse and you had taken one look at her face and known. You left her with Elain and took off for Cassian. Rhys and Azriel were away, leaving you to climb the 10,000 stairs. It had been a hundred years since you had done this, but the adrenaline coursing through you made it an easy task. It was just taking too long.
Nesta had rejected the mate bond.
You weren’t sure if you were mad with her or not. You hadn’t had time to really think about why she would do this. Not when the second you realized you took off for Cassian. He was alone. He needed someone. You hoped you could get to him in time, that he would still be himself when you got there. You knew a rejected mating bond could nearly kill the mate. You didn’t think you could ever forgive Nesta if Cassian didn’t make it through this.
You finally reached the door into the House of Wind, throwing it open. You paused once inside, listening for any signs of life.
Nothing.
You took off running again, calling for Cassian. You checked his room before running up to the training ring. You knew he hadn’t left the House, that he would be in no condition to think, much less fly somewhere. You slid through the entry into the ring, heart tearing in two as you took in the scene in front of you.
Cassian. He was curled up on his knees, smaller than you had ever seen him. You threw yourself down next to him, arms wrapping around him the best you could. You didn’t know what to do for someone in this situation. You didn’t know what to say to him. All you knew was to hold him close and try to let him know he wasn’t alone. That he didn’t have to go through this by himself. You sat there and held him for hours, until the sun started to shine over the horizon.
You pulled your stiff arms from around him, calling his name softly. “Cass? Cassian?” You pushed his hair out of his face and lifted his head towards you, willing him to open his eyes. He gave a small grunt of disapproval, pulling his head back down. You sighed before slipping your arms under his and heaving him up. You got him to his feet and supported him as you began walking. You weren’t used to carrying this much weight, but you would be damned if you were going to let him sit out in the sun all day.
You guided him inside and towards him room, setting him on his bed. You carefully removed his shoes and his training leathers, pulling out light cotton pants to change him into. You got him dressed and under the covers, sitting on the bed next to him. He had never opened his eyes. He was a ghost of who he used to be. You felt tears start at the back of your eyes, panic coming that he would be stuck like this. You shook your head once and stood, heading down to the kitchen to get him some water and try to find something he would eat. It was going to be a long time before you knew if this damage would last.
***
It had been a week and nothing was different. Cassian had yet to open his eyes or even react to anything you did. He would sip water and broth when you held them up to him, and would allow you to lead him to the bathroom to clean up in the evenings. Otherwise he stayed in his bed and didn’t move. You had started reading him books you thought he’d enjoy, having given up on him talking to you. You knew he was going to need time, but that didn’t help the ache in your heart at seeing him like this.
You paused your reading to look at him. You had met Cassian almost two hundred years ago now. You were in a fight on the edges of the Night Court against some of the nastier creatures of Prythian when he found you. He arrived right before the last remaining creature delivered a killing blow. Cassian saved your life that day, finishing off the creature and rushing you to Velaris to see a healer.
You had expected to go back to your life after you were healed, but Cassian had told Rhysand he wanted you in his armies. He was impressed with how you handled yourself and thought you would be a key asset. He took on training you himself, turning you into one of the deadliest beings the Night Court had to offer.
The man who lay in front of you now was a far cry from the one who saved you that day. Yet he didn’t give up on you then, and you won’t give up on him now. You lifted the book back up and continued reading to him.
***
After a month you knew you had to at least get him to open his eyes. You had to convince him to leave his room on his own and begin to come back to life. You weren’t going to sit here and watch Cassian sink into nothingness anymore. You walked into his room bright and early, pulling the curtains apart and opening his windows. He could do with some fresh air and sunlight. You walked over to his bed and pulled his covers off of him. He let out a groan and rolled over to his other side. “Not today, Cass.” You said, keeping your tone light but commanding. You grabbed his hands and pulled him to sitting, patting the side of his face gently. “Come on, big boy. Open those eyes for me. I’m certain you can.” Your hand fell to his neck, angling his face to look at you. He made a noncommittal noise and tried to flop back onto the bed. You gripped his arms in both your hands to prevent that, tutting at him. “Cass, you have to open your eyes. It’s been a month. We need you to start to come back to us.” Your voice dropped as you continued; “I need you to come back to me.”
You sat next to him on the bed, still holding him up. You let go with one hand again and reached up to rub gently under each eye. “You can survive this, you know you can. I’ll help you every step of the way, Cass. I need you to help me though, I need you to just open those eyes for me. Please.” Your hand dropped and you brushed his cheek, his neck, his shoulder. “You can do it.” You whispered to him, yours hands moving to hold his own. He gave a deep, shuddering breath and slowly pulled his eyes open.
You almost jumped back in shock when you saw them.
Instead you gripped his hands tighter, giving him the biggest smile you could. “Thats it Cass!” You said brightly, hoping that he wouldn’t realize anything was wrong. “Can you see me?” You asked, wondering if the look of his eyes had changed their function. He gave you a small nod and you smiled again. “Wonderful. Do you think you can stand for me?” You asked, rising from his bed and tugging on his hands. He stood slowly and followed you as you lead him to the kitchen. You sat him at the table and turned to start making food for him. You paused while everything was cooking to send a quick message to Rhys:
He’s awake. He’s moving. I got him to the kitchen and I got him to open his eyes. Rhys…his eyes. Should you send a healer?
You sent the image of what you had seen when Cassian first looked at you. Of the cold, dead, dark black eyes he looked at you with. There was nothing there. The whites of his eyes were almost gone, fractured black swimming around them. You had never seen anything like that, but you didn’t know all the symptoms that came with a rejected mating bond. Rhys’ voice filled your head as he responded:
You did good. Try to keep him up. Make him get up everyday. As for his eyes, I was expecting that to happen. The black comes from the shattered bond, it resembles what’s flowing through his body right now. During his healing his eyes will go back to normal, so do not worry. Please keep doing what you’re doing up there.
You sent him a quick thank you before putting some bacon, eggs, and toast on a plate. You placed the plate in front of him and turned to make yourself one. You figured it would be easier for him to eat if he wasn’t alone. You sat next to him, angling your body to face him. He just stared down at the food, making no move to eat. “Come, Cass.” You said softly, picking up his fork. “You will feel better once you have eaten.” He slowly took the fork from you and scooped up a bite of egg, chewing like it was his first time. You stood to bring him a glass of water, nearly dropping it when he spoke.
“I had expected my next meal to be made by her. Not by you.” His voice was strained, hoarse. You tried not to take offense to his words, there was no emotion behind them. You sat next to him again, handing him the glass. You didn’t know what to say to him. You two sat in silence as he ate his food, and when he was done you helped him back to bed. You washed his hair and his face before tucking him under the covers, setting some water and crackers on his nightstand for if he woke up. He was asleep almost instantly, and for the first time that month you left him to sleep alone.
When you closed the door to his room, the emotion of everything took over you. You slid to the ground against his door, burying your head in your knees as you cried.
***
Another month had passed. You had started by bringing Cassian down to breakfast every morning, and then slowly added in lunch and dinner. He still hadn’t said much, but the black in his eyes was beginning to disappear. Now that you had him eating well again his body was regaining some of its weight back. You were ready to push him into the next step, preparing for some pushback.
“Cassian,” you began slowly, “Let’s train today.”
He stopped chewing but didn’t look at you. “No.” he said gruffly, going back to eating. You nodded, having expected this. “I know you don’t think you are ready to, but it has been over two months since you’ve last trained. Your body needs to feel powerful again, you need to feel powerful again.” He shook his head. “I won’t.”
You sighed and stood up, facing him. “I can’t make you do anything. I’ll be out there when you are ready.” You left him there to eat his breakfast. You didn’t expect him to come right away. You knew it was going to be more of a fight before you got him out here.
So you picked up your sword and began training alone.
***
The next few days were much the same. You’d ask Cassian to come train, he’d decline. You let him off easy the first few days, but you slowly started to push harder. Today you had decided that you wouldn’t give up until he at least went to the training ring with you. He needed to just stand back out there and remember who he was.
“Your training leathers are freshly cleaned for you. Put them on and join me.” You said, finishing your breakfast. As usual, he said no. “I’m not taking no as an answer today, Cassian.” You kept your voice calm, but made sure to have an air of command in it. He glanced at you and repeated, “No.” You shrugged and stood up. “I told you. I’m not taking no as answer. You’re coming up with me.” You stared at him until he finally looked at you. His eyes were still mostly black, but the improvement was there.
“No.” He said again, not dropping his gaze. You shook your head, holding onto the chair in front of you. “At least walk up there with me. You need to get out of this house. You need to feel the breeze again. You need to remember who you are.” You were almost begging. Your eyes locked on each other for some time, your heart beating rapidly.
“No.” He said again and turned back to his food. You let out a sigh of exasperation and threw your hands up in the air. “I can’t help you if you won’t even try.” You shot out, your words a bit harsh. “I’ve been doing everything for you, Cassian, and the least you could do is walk outside.” He stiffened at your words before standing slowly.
“I said. No.” He spoke again, glaring down at you. You kept your spine straight and leaned forward to whisper with deadly seriousness, “I said. Come.” A heartbeat passed and his fists clenched.
“You’re not in charge of me.” He spat.
“I’m not trying to be ‘in charge’ of you. I’m trying to help you.” You were trying very hard to stay calm.
“I don’t want your help.” Cassian sneered, looking you up and down.
“Tough shit, Cass. I’m not going to give up on you.” You responded, eyes fierce.
He scoffed. “Why does it matter to you? I didn’t ask for you to get me that day. You should have left me there.”
Your vision grew blurry at realizing what he meant. “I would’ve never left you. I love you. I care about you. Everyone does. You’re our family Cassian.”
You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes. “I dont care how you feel. All I cared about was her. And she left me. I don’t want to be around anyone, especially not you.”
You opened and closed your mouth, unsure what to say. You knew he was hurting and that it was common for hurt people to hurt people, thought that didn’t take the sting of his words away. You looked at him for a moment before turning and leaving, heading up to the training ring. At least you knew you wouldn’t see him up there.
***
You trained until it was dark, skipping lunch and dinner. You trained until your knuckles were bloody from punching the bags over and over. You trained until you thought your arms were going to fall off. You trained so you didn’t have to think about Cassian. You had no idea what to do with him. You don’t know why Rhys was letting you do this alone. Why no one would come help you. Azriel lives here too, why hasn’t he been around? You were certain he could be more help than you were.
You finally went down to bed, cleaning up and deciding to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Cassian was going through one of the darkest periods of his life, and you were here to help him. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, so why act surprised when it’s hard? Tomorrow you would try a new plan. You fell asleep with a small smile, having realized that an emotion had finally showed up in Cass. Until this morning he had been a void, a shell. Today, he had gotten angry. It was a small victory.
***
The next day, Cassian was already eating when you arrived. He looked up at you and you didn’t miss the way his eyes glanced to your bandaged hands. You grabbed some food, needing all your strength for what you were about to do. Neither of you said anything while you ate, as the meals typically went. When you were done you stood and washed your plate before turning to face Cassian.
“Get up. Wash your dish, and let’s go.” You said, crossing your arms. He looked sharply up at you, saying nothing. “I’m not arguing with you. I’m telling you. Get off your lazy ass and do something with your sorry existence.” His ears reddened and he stood up quickly.
“What did you say to me?” He asked, his voice dangerously cold. You weren’t going to let him scare you, not today.
“I said, let’s go. I get it. Your heart has been broken. Boo fucking whoo Cass, that doesn’t mean you throw your life away.” You stood strong in front of him, not letting the hate in his eyes affect you. The eyes that were slightly less black than the day before.
“You have no idea what it is like. You do not get to stand there and demand I do what you say. There is no life for me, not now.” He said, taking a step closer to you. That intimidation would not work on you, not today.
“Yea, I don’t know what it’s like. But do you really believe your life is over? If that’s what you think, what are you doing here? Why did you even get out of bed?” You raised your hands in front of you, gesturing to the kitchen. Cassian took a step closer, towering over you.
“You. Don’t. Understand.” He grunted out, leaning down to your height. You rolled your eyes.
That was your mistake.
In a split second Cassian had grabbed you by the arm and was dragging you through the house. He brought you to one of the closest balconies and shoved you against it so half your body was hanging over the edge, your arm tucked behind your back. He was pressed up behind you, mouth by your ear. “Look down.” He whispered, using his other hand to tilt your head down, down to see the ground way below. “That’s quite a drop. I could toss you over this without a second thought. No one would hear your scream, no one would come and rescue you. Push me again, and I won’t hesitate to do it.” He spat out, pushing your body so hard into the balcony you couldn’t help the cry of pain you gave.
Then he was gone.
Your whole body was shaking as you stepped away from the edge of the mountain, not stopping until your back hit a wall behind you. You couldn’t do this. Cassian couldn’t be saved. Cassian was dead. Whoever that was, you didn’t know him. You felt the tears come hot and fast, wrapping your arms around yourself. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t do this.
***
You called for Rhys. You called for Feyre. You even tried to find the shadow Azriel usually leaves, hoping to contact him. No one responded. You didn’t know why, you didn’t know why they had abandoned you up here with a male who clearly had no issues killing you. Was this some part of their messed up plan? See how far Cassian would go before he snapped? Would they be able to save you in time?
You cried hard that night. You cried for yourself, for the fear of your safety. You cried for who Cassian used to be, and you cried for the being he was now. You cried until you couldn’t cry anymore, and then you cried so hard you threw up. You didn’t sleep at all, the morning coming too fast. You debated hiding in your room to avoid him, before realizing that’s exactly what he wanted. You knew deep down that Cassian wouldn’t hurt you. You could only hope that was true for the monster he currently was. You took a deep breath and got ready, trying to hide the shadows under your eyes and the tear tracks on your skin.
You weren’t going to give up on him. Not when it seemed like everyone else had.
***
You didn’t talk to Cassian at breakfast. You ate quietly and when you were done you simply announced you were going to train and left. You didn’t even look at him.
You trained for the morning, coming back at lunch. Again, you didn’t speak or look at him. When you were finished you announced you were going to read, and he could find you if he needed anything.
Dinner went much the same, except you could feel his eyes on you now. You refused to look at him, not caring about which expression he wore. When you finished you bid him goodnight and went to bed. This started your next plan for him.
***
The following weeks you acted in the same way. Not looking or speaking to him until your meal was over, and only then speaking to let him know where you would be. If showing you cared didn’t work, and trying to demand didn’t work, then you would act indifferent. He could figure it out on his own.
You were beginning to doubt your plan, sitting in the middle of the training ring. You were drawing circles in the sand, having no desire to train today. You were tired of training alone. You were tired of being alone. You were just tired. Your eyes started to droop and you wondered if you should just take a nap right there. It didn’t matter anyway. Nothing was working to get Cassian up here. You laid down in the sand and let your eyes close. You felt the warm sun on your skin, breathing deep. You almost felt at peace for the first time since finding Cass in this very spot. You wished you hadn’t been the first one to get to him. You wished Azriel or Rhys had beat you up here, had taken the role of bringing him back to life.
You were so lost in thought you didn’t notice Cassian enter the ring. You didn’t see the way his eyes looked over you. You didn’t see the small smile on his face as he took you in, your relaxed expression, your hair falling out of its braid behind you, the way your fingers trailed through the sand. You didn’t notice him come lay beside you, closing his eyes as well. You had no idea he was there as a calmness settled over the two of you, sleep welcoming you with wide arms.
***
Your throat was burning when you woke up. You groaned and stretched your muscles. Sleeping under the sun in the sand was probably not your best idea. You had no idea how long you were out. You opened your eyes and slowly sat up. You knew you should go back inside, down to lunch to see if Cassian-
Cassian. Cassian who was laying in the sand next to you. Cassian who was asleep in the sand next to you. Cassian who must have come up, seen you, and decided to stay. Cassian, who looked so beautiful with his hair splayed behind him, the sun shining off his face. He reminded you of the old him, the loving, funny, kind Cassian.
You don’t know how long you sat there and looked at him. A selfish part of you never wanted this moment to end. You weren’t ready to go back to the cruel, sad Cass of the past few months. You couldn’t help yourself as you reached over and brushed some hair out of his face, feeling his soft skin under your fingertips.
His eyes shot open and before you could react he had you pinned under him, a blade against your throat. You couldn’t breathe or move, your eyes wide and panicked as you looked up at him. He pressed the blade in harder, looking ready to kill you. You wiggled an arm free and put your hand over his on the blade, slowly lifting it up. You watched as his expression calmed and then horror took over his face. He jumped away from you, hands up. “No, no I didn’t mean- I didn’t know- I didn’t.” He stuttered, his hands having a slight shake to them. You slowly crawled over to where he was sitting and pulled his hands down into your own.
“It’s okay, Cassian.” You said, squeezing his hands. He looked down at your locked hands, unmoving. “I’m okay. You’re okay.” You whispered soothingly, trying to coax him out of his own head. “I’m here. I’m here and you’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.” You continued, holding his hands tight. You felt the first tear hit your hand before you heard his gasping breaths.
Cassian was crying.
You pulled him into your chest and wrapped your arms around him as best you could. You let him cry for what felt like hours. He needed to get all that emotion out, all that pain from today and the past months. You ran your fingers soothingly through his hair, whispering that he was okay and that you loved him. That he was your best friend and you’d do anything for him. That you wouldn’t hold the way he’s been acting against him, no one you knew had been in his spot before. You held him until his breathing began to even out, until his eyes ran dry. You held him until he moved first, pulling away to look at you. You felt your own tears coming as you took him in, as you looked at his eyes. His eyes that were almost entirely back to normal, with just a few bits of black on the edges. You broke into a smile and pulled him back into you, holding him tight. “It’s good to have you back, Cass.” You whispered as his arms wrapped around you too.
***
“Wake up, sunshine!” A voice bellowed through your room, your curtains being thrown open. You blinked in surprise as your eyes focused in on Cassian, who was dressed for training. “We’ve got lots of work to do.” He said, crossing his arms and looking at you still in bed. “Up! Up!” He clapped, coming over and pulling your blankets off of you. You squealed and tried to grab them before he had fully exposed you and the very thin nightgown you were wearing. Unfortunately he was quicker than you. You watched as his eyes dragged over your body, a strange expression on his face. You couldn’t deny the butterflies in your stomach at his gaze.
The moment was broken when he gave a laugh and told you to put something “training appropriate” on before leaving your room.
***
For two months you and Cassian trained harder than you ever had before. He pushed you to your limits and then some, not happy until you almost collapsed at the end of each session. You were glad to do it as you watched the last bits of black fade from his eyes.
It had been half a year since Nesta had rejected the bond. You and Cassian hadn’t seen anyone else since then. You knew you had to talk to him about seeing the others soon, and the likeliness of him seeing Nesta too.
You didn’t want to ruin your happy little bubble quite yet, though.
You smiled as Cassian talked over dinner, explaining the new techniques he was ready to teach you. You loved how excited he got, the way his eyes would light up. Your gaze fell to his mouth as he talked, staring at his lips, wondering how they’d feel against your skin-
No. You had been pushing your feelings for Cassian down for 200 years now, trying to pretend they didn’t exist. When he first saw Nesta you didn’t miss the slight change in him and you knew he would never be yours. Your selfish mind pointed out how Nesta had rejected him, how he was open for the taking, how he could be yours. But no. Cass had a long way to go on his healing journey, and the last thing he needed was you lusting after him.
***
It had been a year. A year since Nesta rejected that bond. Over the past six months you and Cassian had gotten closer and closer. Rhysand had started visiting, Azriel too. Feyre had stayed away at first, wanting to be sure Cassian would be okay seeing her. Seeing the sister of his would-be mate. You were surprised at the way he brushed her concerns off, wrapping her in the biggest hug when she finally came. He told her that she wasn’t her sister, and he would never hold anything Nesta did against her. You felt your heart swell with pride, so different from the Cassian of a few months before.
You had convinced him to leave the House of Wind on a few occasions, flying down to walk the streets of Velaris. You purchased two small chocolate cakes in secret the last time you went, proudly showing them to him when you got back home.
Home. Home was with Cassian now. You loved the life you had created for him, you loved seeing him so full of joy and hope. You would sometimes remember those first dreadful months, the way he looked and the way he acted. That perfect bubble you had created around the two of you was going to end soon. Rhysand had brought up the idea of having a party at the House, a party to welcome Cassian back.
A party that would include Nesta.
You had shot that idea down the second it came out of Rhys’ mouth, eyes burning red. “What are you thinking? Inviting her?” Cassian had laid a soothing hand on your arm, making you look at him. He wore a calm and peaceful expression on his face, and his words shocked you.
“Let her come. I can’t avoid her forever.” He rose a hand to cup your face. “Take it as the last step of my recovery. I’ll have my little savior by my side the whole time.” Heat rose through you at his touch and his words. His little savior, he had taken to calling you. Cassian knew it made you blush, and a part of him enjoyed the pink coloring your cheeks a little too much. You simply nodded, wanting to sink into his hand, into his skin. Sadly he had already pulled away and looked back at Rhys. You gave a small shake of your head, clearing your thoughts and looked to Rhys as well.
You did not enjoy the knowing smirk on his face.
“A party then! We will have it a week from today.” He gave Cassian a broad smile and clapped him on the back. “It’ll be good to have you back, brother.”
***
You felt as though your heart was going to explode. Anxiety coursed through your body, leaving your hands shaking as you tried to button up your dress. You gave a shout of frustration, slamming your hands down on the vanity in front of you. You looked up at your reflection and wished you could put on a brave face.
You were scared. You were scared of Cassian seeing Nesta. You were scared all your hard work this past year was going to be for nothing. You were scared for how she would react. You were scared to see her.
You ducked your head and stared at your perfectly manicured fingers digging into the table below them. You wanted to rip off each nail and throw them out the window. You didn’t want to do this. You didn’t care how calm Cassian was about this whole situation. This was wrong. You dug your nails harder into the vanity, trying to force the negative thoughts away. You were about to give up and tell Cassian you couldn’t go, maybe you could be sick, when you heard a knock on your door. You straightened up and took a deep breath to calm your nerves. No, you couldn’t abandon him. Not tonight. He needed you to be strong by his side.
You walked over and opened the door to reveal Cassian. You pushed the door open wider to allow him to come in, closing it behind him. You looked him over, heat coursing through your body as you took him in. He looked delicious. He had on dark dress pants and a button down, a suit jacket thrown over his arm. You had never seen him in anything like this before and it left you embarrassingly speechless. You quickly moved your eyes to his face, trying to hide the way you had been looking at him. The embarrassment disappeared once you saw the way he was looking over you, the way his eyes lingered on your half buttoned dress, his pupils blown.
You could eat him.
Feeling a little daring, you turned your back to him and pushed your hair over your shoulder. “Do you think you could help me? I can’t seem to get it the rest of the way.” You asked, partly to actually get his help, and partly to feel his touch on your skin. Cassian nodded and stepped closer to start buttoning your dress. Goosebumps spread over your skin at his touch, your body betraying your thoughts. You looked up to the mirror in front of you, heart beating at the sight of him behind you. All too quickly the buttons were all done up, and you watched in the mirror as he hands rested at the base of your neck for a moment. You watched as his head lowered and his lips connected to your bare shoulder. It took everything in you to not throw your head back onto him and close your eyes.
Cassian cleared his throat and stepped away, gazing at the two of you in the mirror. “You look…beautiful.” He said, his words thick. You couldn’t help but agree with him as you looked at the navy blue velvet draped over your body. The high neckline wrapped around your throat like a collar, leaving your shoulders and arms bare as it connected to the tight material over your chest and stomach. At your waist it flowed almost dreamlike to the ground, one long slit going up to your hip to show your leg. You watched Cassians eyes in the mirror trail over you, the room feeling a million degrees.
You turned suddenly, pulling the jacket out of Cassians hands. “Come on,” you said, helping him into it, “Let’s get to your party.”
***
You had already found a glass of wine. No, you had found several glasses of wine. You tipped them back one after the other until that pleasant fuzzy feeling filled your body. You grabbed one more and went to find Cassian with Rhys and Azriel, wanting to make sure he was doing okay. He smiled as you joined their little group, an arm coming to wrap around your waist. You decided to act like this was completely normal, leaning into his touch and sipping your wine. You didn’t miss the look that shot between Rhys and Azriel, glaring at them in response. “Whatever keeps him comfortable.” You shot to Rhysands mind, a small nod of confirmation coming from him before he turned to Cassian.
“Are you ready?” He asked, arms out as if to say “We will go when you do.” Cassian plucked the wine glass out of your hands and downed the rest of it, laughing at your cry of disapproval.
“I’m ready.” He said, smiling down at your and tightening his grip on your waist. “Stay with me?” He asked, eyes searching yours. You smiled back at him and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek.
“I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.”
***
There she was. Nesta Archeron. As deadly beautiful as always, she was standing in front of you and her rejected mate. You felt Cassians fingers dig into your hip, but he placed a small smile on his face and tipped his head to her. “Nesta. You look well.” He spoke politely, as if they had only ever been casual acquaintances. She looked over the two of you, not missing his arm around your waist.
“As do you.” She responded, just as politely. “You seem…happy.” She gestured to the two of you and you felt your body stiffen, preparing for the undoubtably nasty comment she was going to follow up with. “I am glad.”
You couldn’t hide the shock on your face at not only her words, but also the kind tone she said them in. It seemed Cassian wasn’t the only one who had changed this past year. He smiled at her and looked down at you.
“Yea, I suppose I am.” He said, and there was no hiding the red that colored your cheeks. What was going on? was all you could think, this situation playing out completely different than you thought it would. You felt a hand on your arm and turned to look at Nesta.
“You have always been what he needed.” She said quietly, a shine in her eyes. You nodded at her, still confused on what was happening. She looked up to Cass once more, saying; “Have a good night, Cassian. Enjoy your party.”
And then she was gone.
You looked at Cassian with wide eyes, gauging how he was feeling. You were surprised at his relaxed smile as his hand moved from your waist to grab you hand. “Come with me.” He whispered, pulling you behind him. You felt like you were running after him until he stopped and pulled you out onto a balcony. Onto the balcony. The one he had threatened you on when he was in the deepest part of his anger.
You turned to face him, hands on your hips. “What are you doing?” You asked, frustrated at the way everyone was acting. “Something I should’ve done two hundred years ago.” He replied, coming close to you.
Before you had a chance to respond, his lips were on yours.
Your heart stopped as one arm wrapped back around your waist, the other threading through your hair. You melted into his touch, kissing him back the way you had dreamed of doing for so long. His hand in your hair tilted your head back, allowing him more access to you. You couldn’t help the small moan that escaped you as his tongue slid into your mouth, and you felt on fire when you heard his responding growl of satisfaction.
This was better than anything you had ever dreamed.
He gently moved you until you felt the railing of the balcony against your back. In a second Cassian had flipped you forward, facing out over Velaris just as you had all those months ago. However this time, you felt safe.
Cassian started trailing kisses on your shoulder, undoing the top buttons on your dress so he could kiss up your neck. His hand splashed across your stomach, keeping you tight to him. You let out a pleasured breath at his actions, dipping your head back to rest on his shoulder.
“I’ve wanted to touch you like this for so long.” He growled into your ear, his other hand coming to cup your breast. A shiver ran through your body at his touch, at his words. “Nesta knew it.” He placed another kiss on your neck. “The day she rejected the mating bond, she told me she wouldn’t allow me to chain myself to her, not when my heart belonged to another.” He sucked the skin under your ear lightly, a gasp coming from you. “I was confused at first. I didn’t know what she was talking about.” Another kiss. “And then it was you who came to me that day. And I was so angry.” A sharp bite, your hands grabbing onto the railing in front of you as pleasure shot through your spine. “I was angry that she had seen what I hadn’t. I was angry that you came to save me. I was angry that my heart had betrayed me, had betrayed my mate.” Another bite, the hand on your stomach sliding to find that slit in your dress. “When I dragged you out here that day and pressed you to this balcony just like I am now, I was so full of rage. You were perfect. I gave you chance after chance to give up on me, and you wouldn’t.” Another bruising kiss on your neck, his hand on your hip sliding under the fabric of your dress. “I heard your cries that night, the pleading to Rhys. I begged him to not send anyone. That I would never hurt you, I would never act like that again. I realized the mistake I was making.” His hand found the edge of your underwear, tracing it lightly. You felt his smile against your skin at the small moan of need you gave him, pressing another kiss to your skin. “These past months training with you, i’ve wanted to pin you down beneath me and have my way with you every day.” You arched back into him at his words, begging his hand to slide to where you needed it. “Today, I decided I was done hiding my feelings. I was going to be honest with you.”
His hand came up to angle your head to face him. “I’m in love with you, my little savior. I always have been, from the day I found you fighting for your life on the edges of Court. It’s always been you.” Cassian stared at you, willing you to say something back. You rose on your toes and pressed a light kiss to his lips. “I’ve been in love with you since the day you saved me on the edges of Court.” You whispered against his skin. He gave a small laugh, leaning down to kiss you again. “It seems we have wasted quite some time, then.” He said, before lust took over his eyes.
He leaned you back against the balcony, the hand under your skirt finally sliding to where you needed him. You cried out at his touch, his lips hot against your neck. “Now, i’m going to fuck you on this balcony so all of Velaris knows who you belong to.”
***
Thank you for your patience on this story!!! Please let me know how you feel about it, I kept rewriting it. I appreciate all the feedback so much <3
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