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writersblockiskillingme · 4 months

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Lilith | Finnick Odair

Pairing: Finnick Odair x fem!reader (District 4!reader)

Summary: The life of a Victor took a big tool on you, but you're not alone.

Warning/s: +18!, angst, sex trafficking, forced prostitution, trauma, just a bit of fluff (maybe), a little bit of pinning, some curse words (one or two), mentions of sexual activities, light smut at the end (not to explicit, but it's there), possible grammar and spelling mistakes

Author's note: Been obsessed with this song lately, so here you go. I can't believe I never wrote for Finnick, this is a crime. Also, I skipped some parts of the song.

I'm perfection when it comes to first impressions

Well, I romanticize and then I get to stressing

A big brain like I'm teaching it a lesson

Baby, it's a blessing, yeah

The music was too fucking loud.

Finnick found himself gently tugging at the edge of his, what felt like too tight, suit. He felt like he was walking on fire with every step that he took just so he could arrive to yet another party held at the Capitol. Everyone important was going to be there.

The rich, spoiled Capitol's elite who will be thirsting over every attractive Victor there, including him. Especially him.

Even president Snow will be there. He, who is the reason this is happening to almost half of the Victors. The ones who were here for a while like him and new toys who just won. Like you.

Finnick found himself shivering a little bit at the mere thought of the new District 4 female Victor. You, who just won your games by not drowning in the lake like the rest of the tributes that year. You were certainly lucky, Finnick told you that a lot. It was true, of course. You were lucky that you came from District 4 so you knew your way in the water. Otherwise, you would be a gonner.

Finnick felt his throat tightening and his stomach doing a flip once he remembered you. His tribute. His victor. His secret crush.

He knew that he reached for a glass of their finest alcohol a bit too fast, practically at the moment he showed up. God knows he'll need it in him once you show up.

And you did. You showed up in all of your glory.

Your hair was let down, slowly trailing behind you as you walked, clearly a fake smile placed on your gorgeous face. Finnick Odair knew that it was fake. It didn't reach your eyes. Plus you didn't have that glint in your eyes. The glint that you usually wore around the heartthrob from District 4. The dress that you wore was too much for him. It was long enough to be trailing behind you on the ground as you wore, but he felt like it left little to nothing to the imagination. The naked dress that you wore was no doubt beautiful, but it scared him so much that he had no choice but to drown the liquid in his glass all at once, leaving it empty.

"Odair." You suddenly appeared next to him, ordering yourself a drink, bartenders gaze lingering on you a bit to long for Finnick's liking.

"Stunning as always, (L/N)." He replied holding your gaze, the straight tequila still burning a little in his throat.

"You're not two bad yourself." You noticed the edge in his voice and a slight panic, maybe even a hint of regret in his eyes, as you had this conversation with your handsome mentor. "Luckily for them." You barely nodded your head in the direction of the Capitol's elite, nobody noticed it. But he did. Of course he did. He always does.

Finnick found himself once again drowning the hot alcohol from another glass as he felt the dread eating him alive. It was bad enough that he found himself in the situation that he was in, but Snow doing it to you too was simply too much.

And as he turned his head a little to look at the Capitol's elite he watched them looking at you and himself like the two District 4 Victors were a piece of meat. He knew at that moment that it was going to be a long night.

For both of you.

You got me thinking that I was too mean

Well, everything that I say I believe

Tuck a knife with my heart up my sleeve and

Change like a season

Reason for nothing

I am disruptive

I've been corrupted

And by now I don't need a fucking introduction

I've been gone

'Cause I been on this road too long

It was a gloomy day at District 4. The wind was blowing the leaves around as it went, it was also touching the sea, the waves all over it. The lighting cracked somewhere in the distance, but it was loud enough to startle you.

You were sitting by the window of your house in the Victor's Village watching the gloomy clouds that piled up in the middle of the already dark sky mocking you.

Nature truly had a funny, mocking even, way of reflecting the life of the person.

The never-ending stream of tears continued to slide down both of your cheeks as your gace subconsciously traveled over to Finnick's house.

The light shirt that barely covered the rest of your body suddenly felt too tight. Your hair was a mess. It was blocking the way of you seeing the plate of fresh cookies that Mags gave you in the morning. They were delicious, you tried a few, but now they were just sitting untouched at the top of your kitchen counter.

Your gaze was still frozen onto Finnick's house as you thought of him.

You loved him so much you felt like your heart was going to explode.

Your thoughts were running a mile, your heart couldn't keep up with it. He was simply breathing, absolutely perfect. In a deeply sad way you understood why Snow was selling him. Who wouldn't want him? But your heart broke every time you thought of him like that.

A few days ago you saw him leaving his house, he had to leave the District to go to the Capitol to attend to some urgent matters. Yeah, right.

You had to hold your ground to not just run after him. Mags would kill you, you knew that for sure. She was already doing everything in her power to protect you both from the sex trafficking as much as she possibly could. But you knew that you would bring her and Annie in danger if you did anything reckless so you stayed put.

You stayed away from Finnick. As much as you could.

For a little while you stared to ignore him. It didn't work. He was pushing it and you exploded. You just wanted to keep him safe, as much as you could. That is why you did what you did.

That is why you told him that you love someone else. Even though for you there was no one else. You knew that Snow would punished all of you if he found out that you loved him. What he did to Finnick was already a nightmare scenario, a nightmare scenario that didn't avoid you.

You tried to sleep, but you had yet another nightmare about your time serving the needs of the wealthy people of the Capitol and you broke down.

Now as you longingly looked at the house of your love and as you cried you felt like you were suffocating.

As you lifted your arm to whipe away the tears stains on your cheek your shirt rose up a bit showcasing the bruises on your legs. A reminder that you were not good enough for anyone. Let alone a kind and gentle soul like Finnick was.

Now I'm wondering if I ever wanted to hold you

It never mattered if I owned you

'Cause you'd let anybody with a body control you

And you know it too

A knock on your door in the middle of the night startled you to no end. You rubbed your eyes a little bit, trying to get rid of the sleepiness that still lingered.

Your plain white T-shirt felt like another skin glued tightly to your body from the sweat in which you woke up from yet another horrifying nightmare that was caused by the memories from your time in the arena. You knew that it would haunt you forever.

You dragged your feet across the hard wooden floor in your new home. After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached the door. You placed your hand on the door handle, the coldness of it sending shivers down your spine as you opened the door.

You felt a gasp getting stuck in your throat as you saw the person standing right outside your door.

Finnick.

"You can't do this to me." Finnick said lowly, his tone dripping with agony and something else that you couldn't quite put a finger on. "How dare you say what you said?"

"Finnick..." you started to say. "I-"

"Do you not love me?" You felt yourself freeze as he said that.

He got a little closer to you. The shirt and jeans that he wore were completely soaked from the rain outside. The rain that the storm brought. You felt like you couldn't breathe. The only sound that reached your ears was the sound of the waves crashing onto the rocks by the coast.

"You- you now how I feel about you, Finnick." You stuttered out as you said it, feeling very self-conscious at that moment.

"I don't think that I do." He leaned his head down, the raindrops that took their place in his dirty blonde locks sliding down onto your face. "I poured my heart out to you."

"Finn-"

"I told you that I loved you." Finnick said, slowly backing you up against your own door. "Yet you said nothing back."

"I..." you stuttered, thankful for the darkness outside that covered up the blush that made itself known on your cheeks. "Finnick, I can't..."

"Just say something!" He grabbed your shoulder, rising his voice as he gripped you a little firmly, but not enough to hurt you as he shook you a little trying to get you to say something that will make sense. "If you don't love me back just say it. Break my heart so that I can finally know if all of this was worth it."

"I told you already." Your voice continued to shake even though you tried to appear calm. "You know how I feel about you."

"So you do love me after all."

"I told you. You know-"

"Why can't you just say that you love me." The look that Finnick gave you just continued to break your heart. His grip was stills tight as you spoke.

"I want to protect you, Finnick." You told him, your breath getting caught in your throat. "That's why I can't say anything."

"Than show it to me."

You got me feeling like I been too mean

And everything that I say I believe

Tuck a knife with my heart up my sleeve

And fuck like a demon

Do it like nothin'

I am disgustin'

I've been corrupted

And by now I don't need no help to be destructive

I've been gone

Yeah, I've been on this road too long

The raindrops continued to knock against the window of your bedroom, the moonlight that barely made itself present because of the thick dark clouds was the only sorce of light in your house expect for the fire that burned in your fireplace in the living room behind the closed doors.

Finnick hovered above you in the bed as the lightning cracked somewhere in the sky brought you comfort.

You were once again covered in a thin layer of sweat because of the intense heat not because of the fire, but because of the heat that Finnick was providing as he rocked slowly into you, reaching deeper that you thought was even possible.

Your hand scratched lightly on his back as he gripped your hips a little bit, staying on top of you while making sure that he doesn't crush you with his weight.

You could practically feel his hot breath near your face as he marked your neck relentlessly.

The only sound in your room were the ones that you two were making.

You reveled in his gasps and you were sure that he did the same with your continuous moans. His forehead leaned against yours, both of you trying to catch your breaths as you kept up the rhythm that Finnick set.

It was just the two of you. No people from the Capitol, no pressure. No constant praying eyes that were watching your every move. No one had to know about this but you two.

You were glad. Because you never felt safer in your entire life than at this moment, foreheads and lips pressed against each other, giving all of your love to each other.

One thing was for sure, you would kill anyone who used Finnick against his will... only if you could.

The more that you give away

The more that you have

More that you give away

More that you have

The more that you give away

The more that you have

The more that they take

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