#I WAS SO HAPPY 29 WAS SHORTER THAN EXPECTED AND NOW THIS?

[missingn000]

#gdi just checked the google docs wc and theres like a 99% chance tpg30 is gonna be over 15k words #I WAS SO HAPPY 29 WAS SHORTER THAN EXPECTED AND NOW THIS? #yknow what? whatever. fuck it. i dont care anymore #tpg

[saucy-sassy-sparkly]

Moments: One

Note: It's here (and about an hour later than I expected to get it up... my toddler did NOT want to go to bed)!

I'm so excited for this little story; it'll likely be 6 parts total, but I have 4 drafted now. I have a general timeline, some of the pictures I use won't be accurate, I'll get things wrong, and I'll omit things that should've been part of the narrative. I hope you can just embrace some fiction and enjoy it with me.

Reader is female, but I've tried to keep her description as vague and I'm trying to be sure to use a variety of types of women in the picture inserts.

Pairings: Chris Evans x Female Reader

Word Count: ~5.5k

Please leave me some feedback, I'd love your thoughts! Happy Thursday!

Moment's Masterlist

One 1997: Killington Ski Resort

They say that you encounter your soulmate three times before you meet them. It may be a short conversation while waiting for a sandwich at a deli down the street.  Or perhaps it is as children, playing in a hotel pool on a “once-in-a-lifetime vacation”.  It may be a blind date gone horribly wrong, only to have the evening salvaged by a stranger at a bar.  

In other instances, the encounters involve no contact: passing strangers on a sidewalk, concert goers in the same row, children at the same playground, and passengers on a train platform.  

For some people, those moments are spaced a lifetime apart.  For others, mere hours.  And for some lonely folks, the introduction never happens; they’re never introduced, they never take the risk, or their circumstances don’t allow for the universe to do its job and put these two souls together. 

Those three moments, be they brief moments or a whole evening, can link a couple together forever.  

When the sun was up, it had been a balmy 29 degrees today, but now that the sun was quickly dipping below the mountain, the wind picked up and the temperatures were dropping. Chris pulled his goggles off his head and waited for Scott to get to the bottom of the trail. It was Scott’s first outing on a snowboard and it was taking all of Chris’s energy to be a good, supportive coach. In reality, Chris wanted to take off and leave him behind; he could’ve done at least twice as many runs if he hadn’t been waiting on Scott all day.

He saw his dad outside the lodge waving him over and got to him just as Scott appeared over the last ridge. “You guys want to do one more?”  

Chris nodded, “I do, I’m not sure what Scott’ll want, but can I go one more time?”

“Sure, we’re going to head back on the shuttle. I expect you both back at the condo in the next 45 minutes.”

Chris agreed and watched his dad and sisters shuffle towards the shuttle that would take them back to the condos. He turned and saw Scott scooting towards him and couldn’t help but laugh. “One more run?”

“Yeah, I think I’ve finally got it.”

Rolling his eyes, he dragged Scott to the lift line. With the sun almost entirely gone now, the line was much shorter than it had been all day. It was the Saturday of President’s Day weekend; an annual tradition for the Evans crew to hit the slopes for the weekend, but they always knew going into it that it would be a crowded weekend with long lines. It didn’t matter though, Chris just loved being outside. At 16, he was also invincible and full of energy. He’d stay out here all day if his parents would let him.  

In line, he mostly ignored Scott babbling about what dinner might be waiting for them at the condo; he was too focused on trying to see the girl in front of them. She was around his age, with long hair poking out from under her helmet. Her pink ski jacket and black snow pants left more than a lot to his imagination but with his “sexually active” card newly stamped, girls were just about all he could think about. Her laugh had caught his attention when they got into line; she was giggling at a joke the older man with her had made and since then, Chris hadn’t torn his eyes away from her. He watched the way she threw her head back to laugh loudly, he watched the way she was constantly moving, checking out her surroundings, pointing things out to the man with her; she talked with her hands and Chris found himself straining to try to hear her conversation.  

“Chris?” Scott shoved him, making him slide a few feet forward and bump into the man in front of him.  

“Sorry,” Chris muttered when both he and the girl turned around. The girl smiled shyly while the man eyed the boys; Chris shot a glare at Scott. 

Scott mumbled his own apology and they both turned back around just as Chris punched Scott in the arm, “asshole.”

“I said I was sorry!” Scott yelped, rubbing his arm, “You weren’t paying attention to me, you were just staring at her!”

“SCOTT!” Chris groaned through gritted teeth, glancing to see if she’d heard.  

She had.  Damn it.  She was glancing over her shoulder at the brothers, hiding a smile and blushing in the most adorable way Chris had ever seen. He gave her an embarrassed wave while he felt himself turning red. The second she turned back around, he punched Scott again.  

“Ow,” Scott whined, rubbing his arm again. Chris ignored him and returned his mission to staring at the back of her head and hoping that his powers of telekinesis were finally working and he could get her to look at him again. 

Up until that moment, when she found out the cute boy behind her was staring at her, all Y/N could think about was how annoyed she was that her cousins and parents had bailed on her and left her with Uncle Chuck. Not that he was bad, he was actually super fun and she had to admit, she was having a good time joking with him. Y/N was the youngest of the cousins but the best skier. She was also the most empathetic. Chuck’s wife had asked for a separation just days before the annual Y/L/N ski trip so he was here with his two teenagers who just wanted to try to steal from the mini bar and try to get drunk without the adults noticing. Chuck was taking his angst out on the slopes and for a while, Y/N hadn’t minded. But now that everyone else was back in the lodge, showered, and probably eating, she couldn’t help but pout.  

But here she was, in line at the lift, listening to the boys behind her bicker and trying to keep things light for her uncle. They’d been joking about her dad, Chuck’s brother, for a while– he was an easy target with his bad dad jokes and weird obsession with restaurants that offered more than one style of BBQ sauce. When one of the boys had jostled Chuck, he whipped his head around looking more intimidating than he was. At 6’5”, her uncle’s lumberjack appearance was all show. He was just a teddy bear, but these boys didn’t know that. She was sure he looked terrifying.

Chuck had shot them both a glare and turned back to the front of the line while she kept glancing over her shoulder. The boys were both cute, probably somewhere around her age, maybe a little older. The taller one– the one who’d bumped into Chuck– had been blatantly staring at her during this interaction. She knew she was blushing, but she didn’t care. She liked his attention. 

She was still getting used to attention like this. In middle school, she’d been in the smart classes but was always afraid to raise her hand in class. She liked getting lost in a book as much as she liked getting outside and moving. Her body was in constant motion, even when she was reading she was tapping her foot, fidgeting with her hair, or twisting her ring around her finger over and over again. She had her small group of friends who stayed to themselves and had the same Friday every week: Blockbuster, ice cream, and sleepovers.  

But now that she was in high school, Y/N was a good little basketball player– good enough to have schools already interested in her as a freshman– and somewhere between the first day of high school and now, she’d noticed boys… and sometimes girls… staring at her. Groups of people she hardly knew came to her basketball games and waited to talk to her after. She was the only freshman on the varsity team and was already a starter; the older girls on the team had taken to her fairly quickly and adopted her into their groups of friends. She wasn’t sure what to do with the attention, but she knew she liked getting it from this cute boy behind her.

Y/N and Chuck boarded the lift, the brothers behind them still squabbling as she and Chuck left the platform. Y/N pulled her gaiter up around her nose and ears to protect her from the rush of cold air on the lift. They rode in silence, both of them lost in thought and at the top of the mountain, they disembarked and headed towards The Jug– both of their favorite trails.  

Uncle Chuck slowed, clicking his boot out, “You go ahead, I’ll meet you in the lodge. My sock is all bunched up.”

Y/N nodded and took off, enjoying a moment to herself. She’d been with her brothers, her cousins, or her uncle all day. Everyone wanted to parallel ski or talk on the lift. It was kind of nice to have a minute alone to enjoy the sunset over the mountain. She was in no particular rush, staying off to the side and thinking that Uncle Chuck might catch up to her.

Not far behind her, Chris and Scott were disembarking the lift, headed in the same direction. 

“I’ve got this,” Scott assured Chris, “I can do The Jug.”

“Scott, it's a black trail, are you sure? You’re still new.”

Scott was emphatic, “absolutely, I’ve definitely got the hang of it now. This is our last one tonight; tomorrow will be too crowded again. Let’s go!”

“If you’re sure…”

“I’m positive!” Scott whooshed by Chris to the top of the path and around a turn. Chris trailed him, keeping a close eye on him. He watched as Scott took the start of the trail smoothly, crisply moving around a group. He was about 100 yards ahead of Chris and the mountain was getting steep quickly.  

“Slow down, Scott!” Chris called, leaning in to pick up speed to be ready to help, “Scott!”

“I’m fine,” Scott yelled over his shoulder, half turning to find Chris. It was in that half turn that he started to wobble. He found his balance fairly quickly but was also picking up speed.  

“Scott!” Chris yelled again, moving between people. Scott was starting to flail and struggle to regain control. Chris could see Scott pointed towards the edge of the trail and the woods; he knew that he’d told his brother to drop on his ass if he was out of control, but Scott wasn’t dropping. Chris also couldn’t see the pink ski jacket he’d been staring at was directly in Scott’s path.

“LOOK OUT!” He heard his brother yell; Scott was now leaning backward, trying to fall on his butt but clearly nervous about the impact. It was then that Chris could see her. Panic coursed through him. This was going to be his fault. He’d taught Scott to snowboard, he’d let him go on this difficult slope, he’d gotten lazy and tired of being in charge of Scott so he’d let him go ahead, and now he was going to be the reason she got hurt. Chris started yelling too as he willed himself to pick up more speed.

Her head turned too late; a snowboarder was plowing down the mountain right towards her. Her brain didn’t work fast enough; he was flailing and yelling, trying to slow himself down the steep incline. He dropped to his butt just feet in front of her, “Ohmygodohmygodohmyoooodddddd,” he yelled when he collided with her. He took her out by the ankles, she felt pain slice up her leg as she landed directly on top of him; they slid a few more feet, thankfully going slower due to all of the things they were dragging through the snow, and his snowboard took the impact of a tree at the edge of the trail. They bounced slightly, both of them jostled and tangled.  

“Oh fuck, oh my god, oh shit, are you okay? I’m so sorry. Oh god,” it was one of the brothers from the lift line; he kept pushing at her, trying to get them untangled. He kept repeating, “I’m so sorry, I’ve never snowboarded before.” If it wasn’t so painful, it would’ve been funny: they were a pile of neon fleece and polyester unable to fully move their limbs because of the thickness of their snow clothes. Every time one of them moved, it shoved the other, so every time one of them successfully untangled one part of their clump, another thing got stuck together.  

“Hold on,” she muttered to him, unable to get up to unclip her boots and therefore unable to get to her feet, “I can’t reach my boots.”

“Here, let me see if I can,” he said, trying to reach around her; she yelped and he immediately stopped. “Oh god, are you hurt?”

Before Y/N could answer she heard, “Scott, you idiot,” the other brother called as he came to a stop beside them. He immediately reached down and unclipped her boots from her skis before offering her a hand, “are you okay?” he asked as he pulled her to her feet and held her shoulders as she tried to regain her balance. She was about to nod when she finally got her feet under her and pain shot through her ankle as it gave out. “Shit,” he said, grabbing her by the waist and holding her. “What’s wrong?”

“It's my ankle. I’m sure it’s fine,” she waved him off before she tried to pull away from him to stand on her own. She winced again and slumped again, his arm quickly tightening around her. 

“Way to go, Scott,” he snapped at his brother, who was still now on his knees and trying to stand. “Take her skis,” he said to his brother before turning to her, “I’ll get you down the mountain.”

“What?” Y/N asked and shook her head, “no, I’m fine, I can get down.”

He paused and dropped his head so he could make eye contact with her, “What’s your name?”

“Y/N,” she replied, watching his blue eyes as a smile crept on his face.

“Well, Y/N, I’m Chris. The asshole who tried to kill you is my brother Scott. I’d really like it if you let me take you to the bottom of the mountain and get you checked out with the medics.”

“Seriously, I’m fine, I can just walk down or something,” she waved him off again and started to pull away from him, “thank you though.”

Scott piped up, now standing again next to her and holding her skis and poles, “please? I don’t want you to get more injured. Who are you here with? I can go get them and bring them to you. Or I can get a ski patrol.”

“Or,” Chris offered, “I can put you on my board and have you at the bottom of the mountain safely in no time. I promise you won’t get hurt with me. Do you trust me?” He held out his hand. 

Y/N giggled, “Did you just quote Aladdin?”

Even in the fading light, she could see his blush, “maybe.”

“Fine.”

“Really? That worked?” She couldn't help noticing how genuinely surprised he seemed.

“Get me to the bottom safely, please,” Y/N gingerly stepped her good foot onto his snowboard and let him take her weight against him as he pulled her the rest of the way. It took them a minute to get into a comfortable position with her back against him; she was so much shorter he could see over her head easily. He tightened his grip on her, trying to calm his nerves. He’d promised to get her down safely, and now he had to deliver. He took off carefully, holding her waist to keep the weight off her leg and moving them very slowly down the side of the trail. His legs burned from the effort of keeping them slow, holding her upright, and trying to appear much more cavalier than he felt. It took far longer than normal to reach the bottom, and every bounce pushed them into each other making them both tense. By the time they were at the bottom, they were both flustered and blushing from the proximity.  

When he was unattached from his snowboard, he turned to her, “why don’t you get on my back. I’ll take you to the first aid station.”

Y/N hesitated. It was one thing to be pressed up against him for the sake of getting to the bottom of the mountain. It was another to climb up on his back, in public, and parade through the lodge. “No, no, no, I can walk.”

He already had his back to her, reaching his arms around behind him. He looked over his shoulder, “we made it this far, let’s get all the way to the finish.”

Y/N was glad his back was to her because she was blushing furiously. She could hardly breathe. His arms around her waist the whole way down, his breath in her ear, his chest in her back… she’d been overwhelmed by his closeness and his touch. He had to be at least 16, a few years older than her, with the most adorable smile she’d ever seen and the brightest blue eyes. This sweet gesture was the most romantic thing she’d ever experienced and she had no idea how to act. She was trying not to let him see how nervous he made her.  

He was still waiting for her, his back to her with his arms outstretched, and she heard him call her name softly. She nodded and reached for him while he bent down and she put her arms around his neck. “On three,” he said, leaning down further, “one… two…”

“Three,” Chris said, wrapping his fingers around her thighs as she hopped onto his back. He was sweating profusely from the exertion of a day on the slopes and now from having a cute girl pressed up against him for the last 15 minutes. It was impossible not to notice her little dimples or her blushes every time he made eye contact with her. 

Thank God Scott can’t snowboard… Chris didn’t want her to be hurt, but he was excited for a chance to spend a few minutes away from his dumbass brother while he helped Y/N.

“Here we go!” Chris started to gallop into the lodge towards the first aid station. 

Oh my God… I started to gallop… like a horse… shit.  Chris thought to himself. This is so embarrassing. Oh, God. Oh, but she’s giggling. Okay, I guess I’m galloping now… 

The first aid station was at the back of the lodge; he got her there and held tightly onto her legs, not allowing her to slide down his back, “I’m not putting you down until you’re with a medical professional. You’re not walking around on that ankle.”

“Chris,” she meant to whine but hearing her say his name like that made Chris’s heart thump harder. 

“I’m serious, Y/N. Not until you’re with someone.”

She huffed a sigh but dropped her chin on his shoulder. He wasn’t sure if he was on the brink of melting into the floor from the overstimulation of cuteness she radiated or if he was grateful for the many layers of protection his snow suit provided from anyone seeing his growing hard-on.

They got her checked in and Chis finally let her slide off his back and onto a cot, but he sat down next to her. “Thanks,” she said quietly, catching his eye and giving him another delicious blush. He noticed she was a little teary-eyed; she must’ve been in more pain than she let on.

“How are you feeling?”

Y/N shrugged, “not great, I’m hoping it isn’t broken.”

“That would suck,” Chris agreed, trying and failing to think of anything to say to her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t come up with a joke or anything remotely witty. He thought about reaching out to take her hand, but his own were sweating too much. He settled for nervously rubbing his hands along his thighs and glancing back at her. She averted her eyes quickly and they both nervously giggled.  

“You really don’t have to stay with me,” she forced herself to make eye contact with him. Out loud, she’d told him to go, but in her head, she prayed he’d stay next to her a little longer. His presence made her feel comfortable. 

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“NO!” she answered too quickly and recalibrated, “no, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to stay. I’ll be okay. Is Scott okay?”

Chris turned his body to face her squarely, “I’m happy right where I am. Scott is fine.”

“Okay,” she whispered, twisting her hands in her lap and willing herself to say more. God, she was so nervous. The way he looked at her made her pulse race. For as much as her ankle hurt, all she could think about was how dry her mouth was and how much she hoped he’d hold her hand, put his arm around her, or do anything to initiate contact again.

“So, uh,” Chris tapped his fingers on his legs, trying to channel his nervous energy. “Are you from Vermont?”

“No, I live in Maryland.” She said quickly and forced herself to continue the conversation, “What about you?”

“Massachusetts. We come up to ski on President's Day weekend every year.”

Y/N nodded, “we usually stay closer to home but my parents wanted to do something different this year.”

They were both silent for a few seconds, each of them anxiously racking their brains for how to prolong this moment. The door to the examination room opened at that moment and a nurse practitioner came in, “well, Miss Y/N, I hear you took a tumble? Let’s take a look.” She started to pull out her stool and move towards Y/N, “I’m going to take your boot off, okay?”

Y/N sat up straighter and nodded to the NP while Chris jumped off the cot, rubbing the back of his neck. “Can I get your parents? Are they in the lodge somewhere?”

“I think my parents took the shuttle back to the hotel, but my uncle was behind me. I’m sure he’s waiting for me by now.” She winced when the boot slid off, clenching her teeth. Tears formed in her eyes again and Chris returned to his spot next to her. He tentatively put an arm around her; without another thought, Y/N leaned into him and whimpered quietly while the practitioner manipulated her ankle. She looked up at Y/N sympathetically and then at Chris, “were you getting her uncle?”

“Oh, right,” Chris slid his arm away from Y/N. Tears were tracking down her face and he didn’t want to leave her. This girl he’d known less than an hour was now his only concern. 

“The guy you were in line with is your uncle, right? What’s his name?” 

“Chuck Y/L/N. He’s a really tall guy in a red snow jacket and–” she cut herself off when he came storming into the room with Scott hot on his heels.

“Y/N,” he barked, “are you alright? I heard what happened. This one–” he pointed behind him at Scott, “ –found me.”

“I’m okay, we just got started.” She gestured to the nurse practitioner who was still gently moving her foot and ankle, each time making Y/N wince or yelp.

“Damn snowboarders,” he glared at Chris and Scott before he pushed by Chris and sat down next to Y/N, “think they own the whole mountain. Goodbye, boys.”

“Uncle Chuck–,” Y/N started, looking up at Chris but Chuck cut her off with a stern, “goodbye,” before he started talking to the practitioner and asking questions.  

Chris gave Y/N one last look and a wink; Scott apologized for the millionth time and waved half-heartedly before heading to gather their belongings and go to the shuttle. On the short ride from one side of the Killington property to the other, Scott talked the whole way, lamenting and then complaining of his own injury. Chris tried to sympathize with him, and he tried to listen, but he kept thinking about Y/N. 

He thought about her all the way through dinner and a round of video games after dinner. He thought about her as he got ready for bed, and he was still thinking about her when he fell asleep. Maybe he’d come back from this long weekend to find that a new student was enrolled at school… Y/N. In his daydream, he was of course the one the guidance counselor called to show her around campus, which led to inviting her to eat lunch with him and his buddies, which led to asking her to go to the mall after school, which led to going to the movies that weekend, which led to kissing her goodnight, which led to… 

Y/N however, had spent the rest of the day and well into the evening at the local hospital. The nurse practitioner had determined her ankle was likely broken and had advised her to be taken for X-rays. The emergency room staff confirmed it after several hours in the ER, and by the time it was set and she was in a cast with crutches, it was almost midnight. She was emotionally and physically exhausted. She’d begged and pleaded with her parents not to try to find the boy who’d done it; that it was an accident and they didn’t need to contact his parents and try to “decide how to deal with it.” After a very tearful conversation, her mother had finally convinced her father to drop the subject and let them get on with their weekend.  

By the next morning, her mother had profusely offered to stay with her, rent movies and hang out in the condo with her, or take her shopping, but she’d decided to stay in the lodge and read her book with hot chocolate and the roaring fire. Her family left to ski for the day, her parents promising to come back and check on her at lunch. She was trying not to mope and moan, particularly because her dad and Uncle Chuck were still discussing the idea of talking to Scott and Chris’s parents. God, the last thing she needed was them to threaten to sue them. She knew it was all out of care, but both men could be a little overzealous. Y/N was certainly disappointed that Chris lived in Massachusetts and she was in Maryland, but she didn’t want them to stay in touch over a lawsuit.  

She’d hobbled to the lobby and settled in front of the fire, and was about a chapter into her book when she felt the couch cushion beside her dip with the weight of a new body. They were way too close; who does that? Who sits down directly next to someone when there are multiple couches and oversized chairs? She peaked out of the corner of her eye and couldn’t help the grin that slid on her face. Chris was next to her, his own book open, and he was casually reading with a giant smirk on his face. He didn’t look at her immediately, instead, he continued to read and flipped the page dramatically.  

Y/N continued to grin, knowing she was also blushing and feeling her whole body start to sweat, but she turned back to her book and forced herself to read. Another page in, and she felt his eyes on her. She continued her charade just as he had, and continued to read. He huffed a sigh and dropped his book in his lap to cross his arms. She picked up a piece of hair on her shoulder and twirled it around her finger, hoping it seemed casual and cool, while she finished her chapter. When she was done, she quietly put her book in her lap, picked up her hot chocolate, took a sip, and looked at him over the rim of the mug. 

“Oh hey,” she whispered, hoping she sounded cooler than she felt.

“Hey yourself. Good book?”  

She nodded and stared at him for a minute, taking in his perfectly gelled hair, his big handsome smile, and his captivating blue eyes. “Why aren’t you out there?” She gestured towards the huge windows next to them. 

“I saw you when we left breakfast downstairs. I thought you might need some company today. You know, since Scott tried to kill you. I feel responsible for you.”

“Shouldn’t Scott feel responsible for me?”

“He’s proven that he can’t be trusted,” Chris pointed to her ankle, which was propped on the coffee table. There was a lull in conversation; Y/N was tapping her fingers on the cover of her book. Chris started to reach out to her and pulled his hand back; after taking a deep breath, he tried again and covered her hand with his. “I was also hoping you’d want to hang out with me.”

Words, Y/N. Any words right now. Say anything, you have to say something, oh my god he wants to hang out with you SAY SOMETHING. Y/N’s whole body froze as she stared at his hand on hers and his eyes fixed hard on her face. She had to be the color of a tomato right now. She had to be sweating. Could he feel that? Could he tell she was sweating? Were the tops of her hands as sweaty as her palms? 

She settled for a shy nod and another lull settled over them, this one was more comfortable. She spilled her hot chocolate and they traded a few lines back and forth about the snow and how nice the fire felt. Finally, Y/N said, “let’s play 20 questions.”

“Isn’t that the game where you try to guess an object or something? You know like ‘is it bigger than a bread box?’”

She rolled her eyes, “I guess that’s the wrong name, but how about this: we each ask a question and both of us have to answer.”

“I’ll go first,” he agreed, looking around the room before he settled on his first question, “when’s your birthday?”

“April 2. You?”

“June 13. Your turn.” They went back and forth, moving into books and tv shows they watched, how they spent time with friends, and what their hobbies were. Y/N was fidgeting constantly, entirely unable to get comfortable and Chris kept jumping up to help her adjust her propped-up leg.  

After Y/N finished telling a story about a time her social studies teacher split his pants during class, Chris’s laughter subsided and he smirked, “who was your first kiss?”

She bit her lip and dropped her eyes, “Kyle Brown. We were in 4th grade. It was the last day of school, he spent all day literally pulling my ponytail, then he kissed me on the bus, got off, and moved away. I never saw him again.”

Chris cackled, “what a chicken. If I was going to kiss you, I’d make sure I’d see you again every day.”

Y/N felt herself redden from the tips of her toes all the way to her hair; at the same time, her heart dropped. He said if he was going to kiss her. Meaning it was a hypothetical statement... Meaning he wasn’t going to kiss her. In this afternoon spent together on this sofa, she’d been convinced he was flirting and was convinced he’d kiss her. She stared down at her hands, trying to force a smile while she listened to his answer.  

“Y/N?” He asked after she’d been quiet for a moment. She looked up and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “You’ve been quiet for like a whole minute,” he laughed, “you okay?”

“I’m fine, I should just go back to the condo, I need to take some painkillers,” she started to stand up, reaching for her crutches that Chris thrust at her. 

“Let me walk you back, I can help you get your meds and get you settled. Will you be alone?”

“It’s okay, I can get back on my own,” her voice was quiet while she tried to be sure she had everything. “Thanks for sitting with me today.”

“But I–” 

She had already started to move away from him and he followed her, navigating around furniture and people; she tried to pick up her pace. She was embarrassed and sad that she’d misinterpreted the time together and even more embarrassed that she’d gotten her hopes up that a boy from Massachusetts would kiss her. It’s not like anything could come of it. 

“Bye, Chris,” she glanced over her shoulder and said it as firmly as possible before starting to move again. He stopped in his tracks and just stared at her, watching her walk out of the lobby and into the wind. 

#chris evans fanfic #chris evans #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans series #cevans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x female reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans drabble #christopher robert evans #chrisevans

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), Early May 2024

Welcome to my latest coverage of Etsy and other ecommerce news, early May edition. I am off for a short vacation Monday, so thought it best to get this report out now.

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TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Etsy’s first quarter financial report for 2024 was not great, but that was expected.  The real news is that they no longer expect the current quarter to be much better [Tumblr post by me]. Also, they are still planning on changing search. 

Canadian shipping service Chit Chats is shutting a dozen offices in 4 provinces, starting April 29 through May 15 [LinkedIn Post by me]. It appears they expanded too fast and have much more competition now than when they first opened, so the additional locations were not very busy. Some may be replaced by drop off points. There is a thread in the Etsy forum with more info.

Etsy CEO Josh Silverman made over $16 million in 2023, roughly the same amount as 2022 [pdf; see page 56]. Almost all of that was stock options. Chief Financial Officer Rachel Glaser made over $8 million, as did Chief Technology Officer Rachana Kumar. 

ETSY NEWS 

Etsy buyers are receiving emails asking them to rate their recent purchases, as discussed in this Etsy forum thread. The owner of Garden Path Rosaries at Peter's Square Marketplace sent me the screenshot below, which popped up after they clicked the email to confirm they had received the order.

These questions may be connected to details popping in recent reviews, even though the popups and emails say the feedback “won’t be shared with the seller or shown on Etsy.” See this screenshot from Kathie from PillowDetail’s shop:

It’s also possible these review details come from a different test, or even from the act of leaving a review, as some buyers report getting similar options when they leave public reviews. [As is usual with Etsy, they change a lot of things without explaining how any of it works.]

Etsy seems to have deleted most Messages in seller spam folders without any warning, and some shop owners are not happy about it. [The only one I have left is a recent Message that Etsy moved there erroneously.]

Etsy is still promoting its TurboTax discount to Canadian sellers - even though the integration only works in the US. [post by me on LinkedIn]

Canadians no longer need to have a Canada Post Solutions for Small Business account to use Etsy Labels - and the discount for Tracked Packet to the US is very good. [Patreon post by me]

NBC News calls out Etsy for AI crochet patterns that don’t work. While the article blames the images being made by AI, I’ll bet the patterns were too. 

Despite this type of criticism over allowing AI items to be sold on the site, Silverman told a recent investors conference that he is still all in on AI in many forms. “Many sellers on the platform are generating content in collaboration with a machine, Silverman said, and a large amount of new item listings are generated in collaboration with GenAI. But given that Etsy is a platform for handmade goods, the boundary between man-made and machine-made required some clarification. “We had some discussions about, is that handmade or not? Does that belong on Etsy? And we decided, ultimately, that it was—in the same way that electronic dance music, the most popular form of music in the world right now, is collaborations between humans and synthesizers,” said Silverman. “I think this collaboration between humans and machines to generate art is actually going to be the next frontier.” He did admit that the search chatbot tested on the app many months back was poorly received. [The article is really worth reading, in my opinion.]

Gift Mode has now launched worldwide [text with embedded video], and gift teasers will soon include videos from the giver. The teasers have been growing in popularity, with 7% of gift orders in March using the teaser. 

The Marketplace Trends report for spring & summer is out, and apparently there has been a 266% increase in searches for divorce gifts. Even more impressive is a ”2,159% YoY increase in searches on Etsy for lawn games”. Skim through the whole report if you want to know what is trending up. 

Etsy released 2 different “impact goal” posts on Earth Day, which included Reverb and Depop. While you can read a lot more detail in the 2023 Integrated Annual Report [pdf], here are the individual posts: 

Environmental impact goals: reduced carbon emissions, on track to be net zero carbon emissions by 2030. “[S]ellers created 108 million listings with circular attributes on the Etsy, Depop and Reverb marketplaces, including vintage, upcycled, used and secondhand items.” The document mentions increasing Disaster Response Grants (for U.S sellers only) and “open source resource guides that help makers access climate-related disaster information and funding.” 2024 goals are listed. 

Social impact goals: discusses gender, race and disability representation in its workforce, and funding for “creative entrepreneurs from low-income and underserved communities.” 

Related to the environmental impact goals, Etsy published a disaster guide (mostly US-focussed), and put out a (very short) funding guide for US sellers at the same time.  

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

Amazon

Amazon added over 5 million sellers since 2018, 2 million of them in the US. That's only about 100,000 more than Etsy in the same time period, comparing 4th quarter 2018 to the end of 2023. 

There are now Amazon shoppable livestreams on Prime Video and Freevee. “Amazon Live’s FAST channel will feature 24/7 programming from popular creators and celebrities, such as reality TV stars …Brands like Tastemade and The Bump will also host streams to sell their products.”

Amazon drone delivery is ending in California, but continues in Texas and will soon start in Arizona. 

Amazon’s first quarter was great, but note that ⅔ of its operating income comes from the cloud services, not ecommerce. 

BigCommerce

BigCommerce announced many new features, including more country localization, new builder options, syncing inventory through Feedonomics, and of course, AI. 

eBay

eBay is now testing an Explore feature to put together a clothing shopping feed with AI. I don’t have this in Canada yet, but it has been spotted in the US and the UK, and the links in the article do work in Canada. I selected a bunch of women’s options and was presented with a feed that had a lot of men’s clothing, so this appears to work about as well as Etsy’s Gift Mode, which Liz Morton compared it to.

eBay’s sales and revenue were both up slightly in the first quarter, while active buyers were down 1% from the year before. 

Shopify

Shopify is reorganizing Support, in part to inject more AI into the process. Employees are worried about possible layoffs. 

Walmart

Cart.com is now helping new sellers start on Walmart Marketplace, and is offering multi-channel syncing for existing businesses as well. 

All Other Marketplaces

Vinted has turned a profit for the first time, riding the trend of interest in secondhand clothing.

Ruby Lane will be increasing its shop fee to $45 from $25 as of June 1, and will be removing the rebate for listing 15 new items monthly. 

Bonanza’s annual Spring sale runs May 8th to 15th. The coupon code sellers must activate is SpringSale2024. 

The EU has forced Shein under the umbrella of the Digital Services Act.”The European Commission specifically noted new requirements for Shein around illegal products on its site. The company will have four months to submit a risk assessment report and will need to introduce mitigation measures against “the listing and sale of counterfeit goods, unsafe products, and items that infringe on intellectual property rights.”

Shipping 

Labels service Shippo is introducing paid tiers for any businesses printing over 30 labels a month through its service. Anyone printing 30-200 labels a month will be charged $19 monthly; under that is free.

Canadian customers - who are already being charged 5 cents USD per label - are also affected, although we get fewer features and carriers [Shippo just confirmed this via support ticket.] Sounds like there are cheaper options for most of us elsewhere now.

#ecommerce #EtsySellerNews #etsy #microbusiness #cindylouwho2 #EtsyNews

[thevexedvixen]

WIP Wednesday 3/29/23

wow ok was not expecting to do another WIP Wednesday so soon because i’ll be moving soon so life will get even crazier but.... someone literally went and commented on every single critical role fic i’ve written on ao3 the other day. it made me very happy and i want to write more now. i also feel like i have not been reading enough m9 fics lately. so i have been working on something for literally over a year and i’m mostly just stuck with writer’s block on it but maybe posting the WIP will encourage me to finish it.

it’s a sequel to one of my fics, Courting of the Caleb. it is, according to the statistics on ao3, my magnum opus: most hits, comments, kudos, etc. i’m very proud of this fic and someone gave me a great idea for a sequel, but like i said it’s just been writer blocking the heck outta me. i also have a lot of fear this sequel just won’t hold a candle to the original so that’s the other part of it ;A; because this sequel will be much shorter than the original... plan is for it it to mostly be just a fun lil follow up with lots of dialogue.

i will shamelessly provide another link to Courting of the Caleb for people to reread it in anticipation of the sequel! and now without further ado, the WIP :)

.

.

.

A voice magically fills Beauregard’s ears, telling her, “Hello Beauregard. You are welcome to join us for dinner at Caleb’s house after your work is finished. Yasha is already here.”

Looking up from her book, Beau grins and responds to Essek’s Sending immediately, saying, “Hot boy! Tell Caleb I’m on my way. Unless he’s trying to make that weird casserole again, then I’m dipping.”

There’s no response but Beau doesn’t need one. With one of her friends in town and a dinner invite, she has enough incentive to be done with work for the day. Beau returns her three books and stashes her notes away in her bag before leaving the library of the Cobalt Soul. She does stop by Dairon’s office, knocking on the door obnoxiously and not waiting for a response before opening the door.

“Hey, I’ve got family in town so I’m leaving early. See you next week!” Beau tells them all in one breath and closes the door before Dairon can respond properly.

Dairon waves anyways, not looking up from the work on their own desk.

#critical role #cr2 #critical role fanfiction #cr fan fic #shadowgast #beauregard lionett #essek thelyss #my works #my WIPs #WIP Wednesday

[wartakes]

The Obligatory Election Essay (OLD ESSAY)

The following essay was originally posted on November 8th, 2020 (shortly after the 2020 Presidential Election was held). This one honestly didn't have much to do with any of my usual topics but was me being somewhat tipsy and waxing philosophic about politics. Not my best one. But here you go. (Full essay below the cut).

This is probably going to be shorter than most of the pieces I plan to write for here. I wasn’t actually going to have this be my second essay for the site. I hadn’t actually written anything for the 2020 election. I think that was partially because I had no idea how it was going to go, the thought of it stressed me out, and I also didn’t want to jinx anything or tempt hubris by making predictions. I’ve been focused on just surviving the election itself before doing anything else, stocking up on food and alcohol and waiting out the storm in my room the last few days.

Now it appears Joe Biden will in fact be the next President of the United States. There are still ways Trump and his supporters could try and rat-fuck this situation, so we’ll see if he goes out with a bang or a whimper in terms of his reaction to all this – and if the chuds and the fashies limp away for now or cause trouble. But currently, it appears that Biden has solidly won.

I won’t get into my personal feelings on Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and the Democratic Party as a whole in this piece. Needless to say, my feelings are a mixed bag and predominately negative. That being said, I still think beating Trump is a good thing and anyone who somehow thinks this is a loss for leftism and that a Biden Presidency is just as bad as a Trump one really needs to log off for a bit and take a breather and reassess things. Yes, we still have a lot of work to do. Yes, we need to keep organizing. Yes, it will be a hard and long process. But for now, I’ll take this victory – and it is in fact a victory. It shows that things are not destined to always get worse.

Sure, this election has its discouraging parts. Like the fact that, even though Biden still won by a healthy margin, over 70 million people – more than who voted for Barrack Obama in his landslide 2008 victory against John McCain – still voted for Trump despite everything he’s done in the last four years. Or the fact there are now QAnon believers who will be sitting in Congress.

But there were good things for the left as well. Out of the 29 candidates endorsed by the Democratic Socialists of America this election cycle, 21 won their races – including two sitting Members of Congress and two new candidates. A number of progressive ballot measures also passed, such as the $15 minimum wage in Florida.  This all happened despite a Democratic party who consistently wishes to write off the left wing – and that looks like it won’t be changing any time soon. While there is good reason to be discouraged about certain outcomes, we also have a lot to be happy about, celebrate, and motivate us to further action going forward.

All that being said, this is supposed to be a blog about foreign policy and national security so now I should actually get to that part instead of still rambling about domestic politics.

As Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had said before the results of the election were finally called, no matter what the outcome was we were going to need to keep organizing and making our voices heard and power known – not just for future elections, but for other important causes and struggles. This is all very true, and to that I’m taking the chance to tack on my rallying cry of  “please don’t forget to work on foreign policy and national security too!”

I wasn’t actually expecting to harp on this point again so soon after my initial essay setting the stage for this blog, so I apologize if this sounds repetitive. But, this is going to be a repetitive point anyway throughout all my writing here, and I felt I was squandering an opportunity if I didn’t make the most of these events while they were still fresh in people’s minds.

Leftists are already thinking about the future and what we’ll need to do to strengthen the movement and make this country and the world a better place. That inclusion of “the world” is not just a throwaway line. If this election made one thing obvious, it’s that the rest of the world was hanging on it even more than they usually do during a U.S. Presidential race. There was and still is real fear about what comes next here in America and how it may affect people where they live too. Both for good and for ill, we’ve seen how events in the United States can ripple around the world. For ill, in how an off the cuff Trump tweet or comment can cause crises, and for good when we saw how movements like Black Lives Matter spread across the globe.

As leftists continue to fight for real change for the better in this country, they need to learn more about the rest of the world and how our actions impact it. This will need to go beyond the ways those who do think about this conceptualize it – usually along the lines of solidarity with movements and activists in other countries. Leftists will also need to learn about and better understand diplomacy, statecraft, intelligence, and even war – all things that we will still need to deal with if we ever really hope to govern someday, as they’re not going away.

National security and war subjects in particular leftists will need to need to become more knowledgeable on going forward. These have been realms that have typically been dominated by groups such as tankies, campists, and disarmament proponents – which I’ve already ranted about before so I’ll leave alone for now. I understand why many leftists either lack knowledge in this area, are uncomfortable with it, or both. But that has to change. When I spoke of the people around the world, worried about the outcome of the election, I wasn’t speaking just about those who were afraid of what might happen to them, but what may not happen. There are also marginalized groups fighting against oppression, or smaller states at risk from larger, aggressive, authoritarian neighbors. If we are going to be good leftists in a situation where we can actually govern, we will need to know how to wield all the levers of power and that will include war.

Likewise, leftists need to better understand the military and its service members. Like with war in general, I understand why many leftists often take a hostile attitude towards the military and its personnel, given some of the actions of the military in the past. But leftists need to understand how important it is to bring servicemen and women into the fold as they have done with other groups. We need to understand the challenges and struggles that military personnel face, like how they are recruited to begin with and how they are treated. We need to understand how valuable their perspectives and skills are, and how important engaging with them will be for reshaping and rebuilding both the country and the military to be better and more just in the future. Keep in mind, many more servicemen and women are sympathetic to the causes we fight for than you think. After all, Bernie Sanders beat every other candidate for President – including Donald Trump – in political donations from active duty troops during the primaries. The military is something we will still need if ever elect our theoretical President Leftist. We need to put in the work now to understand it and its service members and start to change it for the better.

Alright, its late on Saturday night, I’ve had a bit to drink, and I’m tired, so I’m gonna cut things off here. I promise the next one of these will be a more in-depth analysis of something different, but I just wanted to get these thoughts off my chest while everything was still fresh. Aside from posting this essay, I’m spending the rest of the weekend tuning out from politics and giving myself time and space to be happy. I highly suggest the rest of you do the same thing.

#essay #War Takes #War Takes Essay #leftism #leftist #socialism #democratic socialism #international relations #IR #national security #national defense #international security #foreign policy #foreign affairs #war #2020 election #2020 presidential election #2020 us presidential election #2020 us election #2020 united states election #2020 united states presidential election

[thecrybabydiaries]

I posted 764 times in 2022

That's 315 more posts than 2021!

176 posts created (23%)

588 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tiny-narwhal

@alifelongromance

@shapeshiftingchakra

@thecrybabydiaries

@funnytwittertweets

I tagged 233 of my posts in 2022

#for daddy - 98 posts

#luna writes - 18 posts

#dd/lg sfw - 12 posts

#asked - 9 posts

#oh daaaaaddy - 7 posts

#dumbification - 7 posts

#dd/lg kink - 7 posts

#queue - 7 posts

#luna reads - 7 posts

#i’m deceased - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 95 characters

#no offense but literally hes just a man hes not a hero hes just a man who had to sing this song

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It makes me so happy that I’m (finally) in a healthy enough headspace to handle Daddy degrading me so aggressively and consistently.

10 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

#4

80 Days

12 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

#3

Asking Permission

It never fails to make me laugh when vanillas get pissed at me for saying something like, “Oh, let me ask my fiancèpppppp/Daddy first before I get [a body modificiation]” or, “I want to, but my fiance said no.” because they can’t comprehend that he likes to know when I’m planning to modify myself and I have a few mental illnesses that can create manic episodes where I’m not thinking clearly about a modification I want to get. 

There are so many options to consider when modifying my body for my pleasure or his. If I “ask permission” first, we can take the time to ensure I’m not rushing into a shitty artist that I’ll regret, screwing us financially because I have no sense of impulse control or even just the consequences of my actions. 

So with that being said, 

What Modifications Need Pre-Approval?

Tattoos. These, obviously, are huge commitments and financial hits for us. Plus, when my favorite artist books are open, there’s a 2-3 month waitlist, but I also have very little impulse control. When I want to get a new tattoo, I’m (usually) down for the next available artist in my favorite shop. My fiance is diligent about helping me plan out a piece that I’ll love for a very, very long time.

Piercings. Another commitment and financial hit. Ears are (usually) pre-approved, but anything more than that needs prior approval to ensure healing won’t fuck up any plans we have (like summertime in general when it’s harder to keep pieces clean due to sweat and chlorine).

Hair cuts over 3 inches in length. The occasional trim is always approved to ensure my hair has the strength required for our favorite activities, but if I want a massive chop, that requires some planning and approval (mostly because he likes long hair on me!)

*Luna’s Tattoo Tip: We always aim for fall and winter tattoos to help ensure the smoothest healing period

When Am I Told No?

Honestly? Rarely. If I want to modify my body for him, he’s usually on board. It’s not so much of “no” as it is “not right now” For example, I have multiple tattoos planned, but we have to go slow on those because of healing and finances. I have a semi-large piece planned that we’re expecting to be around $500. (And when you’re trying to save for a life together, that money could go a long way)

There is a small list of modifications I cannot get (for good reasons) like a septum piercing (my family is reformed Jewish, and they’d murder me for altering my body in a way that’s not easily covered). I can’t get any tattoos that I can’t cover with clothing easily (arms, chest, lower legs, feet, hands, etc.) for professionalism. I have to keep my hair past my shoulders so I can put it up for work (again, professional at its finest), and anything shorter would cause intense curling issues.

Can I Override His Choice?

Yes and no. While I have never had to override his opinion, he is very understanding and open to me talking to him about these things. He'd only truly tell me "no" for a handful of reasons such as we don't have money, I'm asking for something that is in a manic state, or the consequences outweigh the rewards.

So while vanillas get pissed at me for “asking permission”, it comes from a place of ignorance. I’m asking him to help me make a choice that could follow me around for a very long time.

Besides, what else is Daddy for if not helping me make these big choices? ;)

14 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#2

Why Would You Give Up Your Orgasms?

"You're kidding, right? Were you coerced? Did he bribe you?"

No, I'm not kidding. No, I wasn't coerced or bribed. I asked for it. Begged for it even. It took us years to build up to it, but gods damn I love it.

I've always been interested in orgasm denial, the power exchange that comes with it, the tingle all over that comes with a load blown and I'm left trembling and aching for my own.

Daddy likes that each time I edge for him, my brain fades a bit more. I'm more willing to try new stuff for and with Daddy like now he slaps me and pops my body.

But why? Why would I willingly give up my orgasms for Daddy? And permanently, much less?

The short answer? I need him to. My orgasms were making me greedy and selfish with serving Daddy.

The long answer? It's not brainwashing, it's not coercion, it's not being forced. It's a kink we're greatly enjoying. There's a certain power exchange that comes with giving something so intimate up to him and letting him control it.

Being denied has also improved our relationship. It's brought a new level of trust into our relationship, forced more communication and more openness. I've let Daddy more into my being and my lines of thinking. He's also kept more of a close watch on me; my mental state, my emotional well-being, and physical needs as being denied so frequently tends to leave me very energized and needy.

Adding this level of kink, as far as denial goes, I highly recommend it. It's spine tingling, frustrating in the best of ways and unbelievably incredible.

So you don’t cum… at all?

Rarely. Maybe once every month or so…? We started with sessions where I wouldn’t cum then we moved up to two sessions in a row where I wouldn’t cum, then naturally moved up the line from there. I can’t actually remember my last orgasm and I don’t regret it. I think I’m getting my next orgasm at the end of the year. Maybe.

Daddy likes me denied and I love serving him and feeling the bliss of edging so everyone wins!

15 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“It just feels so good, doesn’t it?”

My hips were mindlessly grinding against Daddy’s hand, my mind slowly turning to a gooey, hazy fog.

Daddy kept cooing in my ear, coaxing my guard lower as the familiar cocktail of his scent, my desire and sweat fed the mental fog.

“It just feels so good to edge, doesn’t it?”

Another deep breath, my hips raising quickly from his hand with a deep groan. My eyes squeezed shut as Daddy’s smile, his pride, burned into my skin. “Deep breath, princess… No cummies yet. Just relax and edge for Daddy.”

I couldn’t place my last orgasm, even with a level head. Daddy keeps me denied now, as encouragement to be the best toy for him.

This time last year, I couldn’t stand the idea of denial. Oh, how greedy I was.

At some point, I started to desire it… I wanted - needed Daddy to deny me. To control when and if I got to cum. To teach me to be less greedy with my orgasms. To teach me to put his pleasure first - where it belongs.

Daddy cooed again, “It feels so good, doesn’t it?”

32 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #wowwww #no one cares #shut up luna

[rumblebumble22]

I want to be old, and I explain why

There are a lot of stereotypes about old people. Many of us think they are incompetent and unable to enjoy life, depressed and miserable. But is it true? I did a bit of research and realised that these people are one of the happiest and most fulfilled groups of the world population. It turned out that these people live a calm and joyful life. But why in our world is everyone so terrified of the prospect of becoming older? In my opinion, there are stereotypes which prevent us from seeing aging as it is — a natural process which no one of us can avoid. 

Modern beauty industries sell us the idea that only youth is beautiful and only young people deserve love and care. On TV and on the Internet we see attractive models with thin waists, skinny belly and smooth skin. There is almost no representation of old people in the mass media, did you notice? There is only energy, health, and liveliness on the faces of teenagers and young adults. It seems like beauty industries associate these concepts only with youth. 

Anti-age. Doesn’t this word sound weird to you? What do surgery clinics and cosmetics companies mean by this word, actually? Does they try to convince us that the laws of nature are wrong and we should turn time back? I think it is ridiculous. It’s like when I am 29, I suddenly wish to be a 12-year-old girl again. Why should I want it? Why anyone should want something like this?

But I can explain how it works. Beauty companies instill women with fear that nobody will love them if they become old. They told us that smooth skin is beautiful, whereas wrinkles and gray hair are ugly. I just wonder, does anybody really believe in that? Because seriously, these companies just make money this way. I searched how much surgery clinics earned on liposuction, botox and facelifting and goddamn, these numbers exploded my mind. Companies make money on women’s fears, and women obediently go under the surgeon’s knife or waste money on expensive and useless creams. Is it actually legal? 

After all these horrific facts I found old people’s opinions, where they explain their perception of life. It turned out for me that actually the older we get, the happier we are. Aging has some unique benefits which are unavailable to you when you are young. For example, when you become old you really don’t care anymore what people think about you. You can say what you really think, wear weird clothes or sniff cocaine. It's up to you and your imagination. No one will condemn you as much as if you were young. 

Besides, you can relax more. Nobody expects you to join the gym, become a parent or build a career. Why? Because probably you already do some of these things and if you didn’t, who cares now? You are too old to start this kind of serious project. No one can tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, because it’s just not appropriate to tell things like this to old people.

Also, with age time became shorter, so you begin to comprehend life as it is. Stupid problems and unimportant concerns doesn’t worry you anymore. Sunsets, conversations with friends, walks in the nature: all these things become more precious to you. You simply start to appreciate everything around you more and understand that life is a treasure. 

Also, since with age you get more skills and understanding of life, you become wiser and calmer. Probably, you have more financial security and free time for hobbies and interests than you had when you were young.  Thus, you become more happy and can live as you like. 

 I think we should give more attention to aging and get rid of our prejudices about old people. Firstly, the despair of aging is simply a lie, and secondly, it’s not fair in relation to old people. Old age might be happier than we actually think, and I am waiting with curiosity for the days when I become an elder. 

#aging #aging process #habits #nutrition and aging #female #eldercare #old people #psychotherapy #psychology #opinion #self care #culture #reading

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

#my writing #my meta #supernatural #spn #spn finale trash fire #MY MANIFESTO IS DONE

[versadies]

Can I request Pisces with Jean? Basically what are Jean's thoughts when her timer hits the 1 hour mark before she will meet her s/o?

schedules (hc scenario)

penpal: hope you like this, stay tune for your ningguang req anon <3

prompt: pisces the fish, timer soulmate au

pairing/s: jean x gn!reader

sypnosis: the perfect schedule of jean’s (un)expected day.

includes: fluff

jean has a clean, organized daily schedule.

the first thing she does after getting ready for the day is do a morning run with amber, jogging around outskirts of the city with the pleasant company of the outrider.

next is a breakfast trip with her dearest friend, lisa, who’s happy to eat meals with the acting grandmaster. their frequent hangout is usually in good hunter’s.

of course, her schedule varies depending on the tasks she needs to do. whether it’d be different commissions from her people in need of help, settling documents, doing paperworks, and so on. either way, she always finds herself holding a list of her tasks and checking them off by the end of the day.

then jean comes back to her home and does her laundry by hand, making sure to settle her clothes for later night before changing to her uniform and start her duties as the acting grandmaster.

this schedule goes on for as long as she could remember.

the day repeats itself as usual, first is the morning run, breakfast trip, laundry, going to the headquarters, starts listing her tasks to do tod—

her heart drops when she notices her timer.

this is not a part of her schedule.

“01:29:56”

she blinks a few times, disbelief that her timer is shorter than before. now that she could think about it, she hasn’t taken a good look on her timer for a long time.

what should she do now?

if she will meet her soulmate by an hour, it’ll be difficult to spot them outside of the headquarters during her commissions, where she’s sure there will be a lot of people walking around. how could she identify which one is her destined other?

she can’t exactly postpone her commissions, not when her people are actually in need of help while she’s sitting on her seat dreading about not being able to identify her soulmate when the time comes.

the acting grandmaster felt afraid, afraid of not being able to see her soulmate when her timer goes 0.

she also felt confused, not sure how her day could go. not even her clean schedule could predict how she will meet her soulmate and how things will go.

jean then takes a deep breath, and thinks deeply of what she can do. maybe she could do the urgent commissions and immediately go back to the headquarters just to be safe?

she sighs in defeat and stands up from her seat. it wouldn’t hurt to see how this day will go, right?

it didn’t take long for the acting grandmaster to complete urgent commissions, making sure to often check her timer so she could go to a more secluded area and come across to her soulmate.

however, she got carried away from a certain commission that she didn’t notice how time flew by fast.

“thank you so much again for the help, grandmaster jean.” margaret says with a grateful look on her face. “i’ll make sure to send someone to send a mushroom pizza for you, it’s on the house!”

“that’s very kind of you, margaret. but i can just visit this place during my break and get it myself.” jean reassures the woman, letting out an awkward laugh.

“no no! i insist!” margaret said persistently.

before jean could try and protest again, someone suddenly bumps into her, causing her eyes to widen in surprise and look at the person.

“oh gods— sorry about that!” you exclaimed, looking behind you frantically before running away, leaving jean and a concerned margaret alone together. it wasn’t long before two knights ran pass by as well, chasing you down with no intention of stopping.

“oh my, how rude of them!” margaret exclaims, not noticing how jean slowly stares down at her wrist, her breath hitches at the sight of her timer—

“00:00:00”

the acting grandmaster stares down at the numbers, her heart pacing fast. if you’re her soulmate, then she needs to get to you fast.

“i gotta go margaret,” jean says apologetically before running off to where she thinks you and the knights headed, her heart pacing in excitement and anticipation. it felt like all her worries had disappeared.

you can bet that she’ll make sure to tick off “meeting my soulmate ♥︎” from her list just as she did with all of her tasks.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin headcanons #jean soulmate au #jean gunnhildr x reader #jean gunnhildr #genshin jean x reader #jean x reader #genshin jean #jean x you #jean gunnhildr x you #genshin x reader hcs #genshin hcs #genshin x reader fluff #genshin fluff #genshin soulmate au

[nobodyfamousposts]

My-Crack-ulous: Aku-Maid

In which I am a horrible person...

No seriously. Don’t read this.

For @mermain123, for bringing up the cursed image that started this mess in the first place.

Mermain: i said i was suffering

Mermain: i didn't want you to make the internet suffer

Me: That sounds like the internet’s problem.

Also for @bloody-writes. You know why...   ; )

_________________________

Hawk Moth was a supervillain who had been terrorizing Paris for the better part of two years.

But no one could really argue that not all of his ideas have been good. Or well thought out. Or in any way sensible even.

Like the time he akumatized a baby.

Or the time he akumatized a girl to transform people into exact replicas of herself.

Or the fact he keeps akumatizing Mr. Ramier for going on 29 times at this point…

Or the other time he akumatized a baby…

Times that he destroyed Paris. Times that he nearly destroyed the world. Times that he gave people powers that were completely contradictory to the goals of getting the Miraculous he was after by erasing the heroes from existence or transforming them in ways that made the Miraculous inaccessible.

But none of his akumatizations had ever gotten him as much hate, caused as much misery, were were ultimately as pointless as this most recent incident.

Aku-maid.

It was known the instant she was akumatized. As soon as she was transformed, a wave of power enveloped the city. And within that wave, half of the people of Paris were transformed as well. 

…the male half.

Her power was to transform all the men of Paris. She didn’t even have a weapon or attack that did it, it just happened almost instantaneously. All men suddenly found themselves changed.

Or rather, their outfits…

“Ah!”

“What the hell—!?”

“I can’t get it off!”

One by one, every male in Paris suddenly found themselves in a much different state of attire. What had just been a normal day full of various styles and appearances had all suddenly become very…frilly.

“WHY AM I A MAID?!”

Much as implied her namesake, the akuma’s power involved transforming whatever any man was wearing into some variation of a maid outfit.

Every man.

All over Paris.

From Andre Bourgeois, who has refused to leave his office to make an official statement…

“ANDRE!” Audrey shouted, banging on the door. “Get out here this instant!”

“But, honey, I can’t be seen like this!”

To Roger Raincomprix, who has tried to continue his normal duties despite the…change of uniform…

“Stop in the name of the law!” Roger shouted, reaching into his pockets in an automatic reaction to try to get his handcuffs. While the dress he was wearing did still have pockets, the only item they procured was a cleaning rag, which was notably less threatening as the suspect in question stared for a moment before deciding to take off.

“HEY!”

And yes, even to…

“I’m a Macrophage!” Adrien gushed happily as he lifted his lengthy skirt to give a twirl.

…even to Adrien Agreste, who was apparently the only one to find anything pleasant about the current crisis.

Nino stared.

“Dude. Seriously?”

“I’ve always wanted to cosplay!”

Nino, having been long-since exposed to his friend’s deep love for anime in its many forms, at least knew what a Macrophage was. But even so, he couldn’t help but feel there was something odd about the way Adrien took to the long pale dress and cap.

Kim rested a hand on Nino’s shoulder. “Just let the guy enjoy this.”

“At least somebody is.” Nathaniel muttered bitterly as he tried to hide as behind his sketchbook. It was a futile attempt, of course, as he at most only covered his face, leaving the red dress, white apron with pockets, and knee-high boots on full display.

“I don’t understand how he can.” Max complained. He tugged at his own skirt in vain, looking at Adrien’s ankle-length ensemble enviously. The skirt was much shorter than he would have liked—reaching a couple inches above his thigh and almost seemed to be defying gravity to stay that way despite his attempts to get it to either flatten or otherwise lower. “I question the design choices.”

“But you look just like Misaki from Maid Sama! And Nathaniel looks like Lizbeth!” Adrien insisted. “It’s totally a cosplay!”

Max just stared incredulously. He was wearing a black dress with puffy sleeves that tapered off just shy of his elbow, white apron, a cap, and thigh-high black stockings and knee-high boots, it seemed Adrien did have a point.

Max, in all fairness, didn’t particularly care in favor of the problems that came with suddenly finding himself in a short dress, heels, and a corset.

“I just can’t peg where Kim or Nino’s outfits are from.” He continued, studying the outfits in question contemplatively. “But give me a little time! It’ll come to me!”

The boys had been having an afternoon hangout session in the park. No girls. No teachers. No Gabriel Agreste or bodyguards to whisk certain teen models away. It was supposed to be a normal non-drama-filled day.

…which was naturally when it became something less than normal and certainly more than drama-filled.

“I think I get why girls complain about this sort of thing now.” Kim said, looking at his shoes. “These heels are kind of uncomfortable…”

“Are you sure it’s the heels and not the flippers?” Nino asked, annoyed.

Sure enough, Kim was wearing flipper-heels. They were black and also had black ankle straps with a little bow on each. This strange footwear did seem to go with Kim’s talent in swimming, which was also emphasized by the ruffle maid swimsuit they matched with.

“Nah, it’s definitely the heels.” Kim insisted.

So this was what their all-boys’ afternoon had come to.

Kim was wobbling on unsteady heels.

Nathaniel groaned and kept his ever reddening face covered.

Max was questioning where they could procure jackets. Long jackets.

Adrien was giggling to himself and asking if they could do a full Cells at Work group cosplay.

And Nino paled, suddenly realizing something.

"Guys. Guys, we have to hide!"

"Why?" Kim asked. "It's annoying, but this akuma doesn't seem really dangerous."

"No, you don't get it!" Nino hissed. "If Alya catches us, we will NEVER live this down!"

Nathaniel looked over the edge of his sketchbook. “Alya wouldn’t actually post pictures of us to the Ladyblog, would she?”

A long pause followed.

The boys paled.

Except for Adrien, who turned to them with a gasp of excitement. “Do you think she would? We could do a group picture!”

All the other boys paled even more, looking downright ill.

And immediately took off running.

Or at least as well as they could with heels. None of them made it very far without tripping, stumbling, or simply struggling to stay upright as they still tried to move away from the area as quickly as the heels would allow.

“But what’s wrong with—?”

“JUST RUN, ADRIEN!”

“Who thought maid outfits with high heels was a good idea?! How can anyone be expected to clean in these things?

“I will never draw high heels on a super heroine again.”

“I can’t breathe! Who created corsets?! What objective does this achieve besides crushing one’s lungs?”

Nino groaned, still running. “I hope Hawk Moth is suffering as much as we are!”

_____________________

If Nino Lahiffe had the ability to break the fourth wall and peer into the events happening outside of his immediate vicinity, he would be happy to find this was actually the case.

And he would laugh.

Oh, how he would laugh.

“Sir…?”

“Don’t.” Came the dark growl from a very unhappy supervillain. “Don’t say anything, Nathalie..."

This was an akuma that impacted every male in Paris. Every male.

…even to Hawk Moth, himself.

“Why did this happen?”

It would appear that even Hawk Moth was not immune to Aku-Maid’s power as he had been similarly transformed. And unfortunately, due to the change, he could no longer access his Miraculous. The Butterfly broach had disappeared, having been transformed along with his outfit.

And his outfit had…actually left much to be desired.

Which was truthfully just a nice way of saying it was ugly.

Really, really ugly.

Normally the picture of stoicism, Nathalie had to pretend to cough to avoid reacting.

“Can’t you order the akuma to undo it?” She eventually was able to ask.

He lowered his head and closed his eyes in concentration. “No. It’s no good. I’ve lost the link!”

His eyes widened and he clutched his chest in a panic.

“Where is the Miraculous?!” Hawk Moth demanded, trying—and failing to pull at the tasteless dress. But as others across the city had already discovered, the clothes were magic and would not be removed or displaced. Not even the frock or the cap he now wore.

“Sir, you were transformed when you changed. It looks like the Butterfly Miraculous was transformed along with you.”

He froze, eyes widening in horror. “But that’s—”

He grasped at the empty place on his chest. Where once had been his lapel and pin now only had ruffles and a leathery texture. His mask remained in place, though it was now fully black except for the openings around his eyes and mouth, which were bordered with a lighter grey color. The material and outfit overall had a shine to it that could be found on any wetsuit.

To put it nicely: he looked atrocious.

To put it bluntly: he looked like some sort of BDSM role-player with a maid kink.

So it was fortunate, perhaps, that no one else in Paris would have to be subject to the sight.

Except Nathalie. Who was probably going to have nightmares.

Or a coronary from the laughter she was trying to hold back.

It was admittedly a bit hard to tell.

But it seemed she was handling the situation a bit better than Hawk Moth, despite the fact that the man was currently unable to see himself or the full extent of the monstrosity he now wore.

…this was probably for the best. Given the man’s fashion sense, there was really no telling whether he would be horrified or inspired, and nobody would want to find out.

“I can’t contact the akuma! And I can’t call it back!”

He moaned, covering his…already covered face with his hands. “I’ll never be taken seriously again!”

Nathalie resolutely held back from pointing out he was barely being taken seriously now.

“It’s…not that bad?” She tried. Not very well, but she tried.

Hawk Moth clutched his head in horror. “Unless Ladybug and Chat Noir can stop this akuma, we’re doomed!”

“Sir, it’s just an akuma that puts men in maid outfits. It’s really not that bad.”

“DOOOOOOMED!!!”

__________________________

The akuma, for her part, was unaware of her benefactor’s misery, too busy enjoying the abject misery of everyone else around her.

Nobody knew just what had set the girl off to get her akumatized in the first place. Her comments about men being “the eye-candy now” suggested an argument. The maid outfits involved suggested what the topic of the argument had been regarding.

To be honest, nobody had actually realized she was the akuma responsible. She did appear fairly normal by akuma terms, dressed in a seemingly authentic Victorian era dress more befitting as an authentic Lady’s Maid compared the frillier, lacier varieties that the men around her had suddenly found themselves in. What would normally have gotten her a few odds looks was mostly ignored in the face of the sudden change. Few even took notice of her dark purple skin or black hair. Or the fan in her hand.

“THAT’S RIGHT! SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING OBJECTIFIED!”

The yelling…was a bit harder to miss.

It was the first thing that drew the attention of the three girls settled at the cafe.

The second thing was the various cries of horror as several of the men around them suddenly discovered their state of dress transformed into…well…dresses. Of a variety that made the little cafe appear more like a maid cafe than anything.

The third thing was the appearance of a familiar face running down the road, holding up his long white dress to make running easier as he looked for a place to hide.

Marinette stared.

“ADRIEN?!”

Adrien Agreste was running around in a long white and pale cream Victorian-era dress and cap, looking like Cinderella running from the ball. Except a maid.

A quick glance to her companions showed that both Alya and Kagami were similarly staring in befuddlement, so this was neither her imagination or a fever dream.

“Adrien? What’s going on?” Alya asked for everyone.

“It’s an akuma!” He replied, quickly. “She’s putting everybody into cosplay!”

“…cosplay?”

“Yeah!”

“…everybody?”

He paused, glancing around. “Well…all the guys, I think?”

Marinette stared.

“…Just that?” Alya asked, thankfully taking over while Marinette’s brain started to become aware that this WAS Adrien she was talking to. “She’s not doing anything else besides putting guys into…‘cosplays’?”

He blinked in confusion. “I…think so?”

“She isn’t…I don’t know…commanding you or anything?”

“Well, she hasn’t yet. Which, really, isn’t so bad for an akuma if you think about it.” He said with a frown before he noticed the strange look on Kagami’s face. “Kagami, are you okay?”

Kagami made a strangled sound.

“Marinette?”

Marinette pretended to choke on a drink from an empty glass to avoid speaking.

“Can I add to your order?” The waiter came by, seeming unconcerned by the ruckus or the act that he was now wearing a rather cutesy maid outfit the likes of which would be seen in a maid cafe in Japan.

“You don’t seem put off by this.” Alya pointed out, noting his relatively unfazed attitude compared to the panicking of the other men around them…or the gushing from Adrien.

The waiter took it in stride.

“It’s okay.” He replied blankly. “I’m already dead inside.”

“Oh.”

He turned to Kagami. “Do you need anything else, Miss?”

Kagami was still staring at Adrien, blushing furiously.

“I think I have a problem.”

“You mean a kink?”

“A. Problem.” She spoke through gritted teeth.

“Story of my life.” The waiter replied as he refilled her glass of water, either unaware or uncaring of the specific nature of her trouble.

Alya gasped in sudden realization. “Wait! If this is happening here then…” She turned to Adrien. “Where were Nino and the boys?” He blinked, curious. “Oh, they decided to head home. Why?”

An almost sinister smirk formed on Alya’s face. One that would have anyone it was directed at cowering in fear. And strong enough to be felt from several blocks away.

Unbeknownst to them, Nino felt that smirk like a trail of cold fingers down his back, and promptly threw himself into his room and slammed the door shut behind him.

As if she sensed this, Alya slammed several bills on the table and dashed out the door.

“GOTTA GO!”

Realizing an akuma was about, Marinette was right on her heels. She found a nearby alleyway and immediately prepared to transform and face this latest threat.

“Oh my god. OH MY GOD.” She broke down, letting out the laughter she’d been trying so hard to hold in. “He’s a dork! The boy I’m crushing on is a complete DORK who is in to cosplaying! He thinks maid outfits are COSPLAY!”

…or she would be.

“And here I’ve been driving myself nuts with anxiety over just asking him out and he doesn’t even—”

Any minute now…

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed. “You need to stop the akuma!”

“Can’t I just take a picture first?”

“MARINETTE!”

“Oh fine…”

_____________________

Luka didn’t realize anything had happened. He felt a bit off balanced for a moment, and a bit colder, but attributed that to being on the Liberty. So he simply shifted his stance to be a bit more steady and continued playing. It wasn’t until the drum stopped that he realized something was actually wrong.

The look of shock from Mylene and the following shriek from Ivan cemented it.

He spun around, not sure what could have elicited such a cry from his fellow bandmate. And at first, he couldn’t really tell what had happened. Ivan was crouched behind the drum set, covering his face with his hands and trembling in what appeared to be mortification.

Then he noticed the mobcap on Ivan’s head, which he was pretty sure hadn’t been there before. And Ivan’s shirt seemed distinctly…fluffier and frillier than he remembered seeing a few minutes ago. He tried to move closer to offer help, only for his own balance to be off. And when he looked down…

Oh.

The dress was new.

As were the stockings.

And the notably thinner and sleeker heels on his boots.

He hummed to himself, considering the change.

“Akuma?” Juleka asked him.

“Most likely.” He replied.

Mylene had rushed up to their practice stage and to Ivan’s side, even as he moaned for her to not look at him. The poor guy was completely red in embarrassment. Seeing how upset he was, the other three had backed away, leaving Mylene to try to help her boyfriend.

“Luka, are you okay?” Rose asked worriedly, trying to respect Ivan’s need for space while also checking in on their other effected bandmate.

“I’m fine. It was just a surprise at first.” He replied.

It wasn’t every day that you suddenly found yourself in a maid outfit, after all. It was a simple outfit. White off the shoulder puffy sleeves with black frills. A black tube skirt. White apron. And…he reached to his neck where a weight was, feeling a choker.

Huh…

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Honestly, he could be in worse.

Rose seemed surprised at that. “Really? Even with those shoes?”

He looked down at the shoes in question. The boots were his style—surprisingly, given it was an akuma. The higher heels were definitely different from his norm, and clearly what Rose was referring to. In any other circumstances, she would be right.

But...

Luka smiled, shifting his stance and resting a hand on his hip. “Well, someone had to teach Jules to walk in heels. And I couldn’t show her if I didn’t know how myself.

Juleka huffed. “Don’t say that like you didn’t enjoy playing dress up.”

Luka merely curtsied, not only showing off more of his slightly ripped and punk-looking fishnet stockings, but almost proudly displaying his ability to move fluently in heels.

Rose appropriately “oo-ed” and “aah-ed” at his display. Juleka merely shook her head and smiled. Ivan was still recovering from his panic attack and had resolutely refused to come out from behind the drums, despite Mylene’s reassurances.

“So it has to be an akuma, right?” Rose asked.

“If it is, I want a picture or two, at least.” Juleka muttered as she admired Luka’s outfit, mumbling about commissioning Marinette to recreate it in her size. She hadn’t known maids could come in this style.

Mylene nodded from her place at Ivan’s side. “Though it seems rather fortunate if this is all the akuma is doing.”

“We don’t know if that is it, though.” Luka warned. “For all we know, there could be some other ability she has if she catches us. It would probably be safer if we hid out inside until this is over.”

The others agreed. And Anarka, bless her soul, actually came up with a large blanket for Ivan to wrap himself in to preserve his dignity. Then she and Mylene helped the taller teen to safely relocate to inside. Much like Luka, Ivan’s shoes had changed, but he was substantially less able to maneuver in them. And no amount of effort or force on his part could seem to separate the heels from his feet.

Once he and the others were inside, Luka moved to follow. He hesitated, however, at the sound of something landing behind him.

“Viperion? We’ll need your help.”

He turned to see Ladybug standing tall. And was that perhaps a hint of blush on her face?

Oh. 

A shame.

It looked like Juleka wouldn’t be getting her pictures, after all...

_____________________

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

He shuddered, backing away from the door as far as possible.

“Ninoooooo…”

It was a fight for survival.

“C’mon, Nino. Just open the door.”

The survival of his dignity, but still!

He’d lost track of the others and immediately rushed home and to the safety of his room. His room, which he could lock and hide away in until this all blew over.

“I have a key!” Came Chris’s voice. “Somewhere…”

“Give it and I won’t take any pictures of you.”

“Deal!”

His room, which his traitorous little brother was willing to allow the enemy entry into.

Under any normal circumstances, he wouldn’t be this desperate. But if Alya caught him like this…

Black dress. Puffy at the shoulder, sleeves that extended to his wrists and were bound by white cuffs. A white smock tied back with a white ribbon. White bow at the neck and white frills along the bottom of the dress?

Oh yeah…Alya would never let this go…

He knew he shouldn’t have gotten into all those anime Adrien pushed him into! So what if the maids were cute? And sure, he’d admit he's had a thought or two of Alya in such attire...

But how was he supposed to know Alya had such thoughts as well? And in the complete opposite direction! Clearly this was the akuma’s magic punishing him!

Nino looked to his window.

It would be a long fall, but it was his only escape.

But would the broken legs be worth it when Alya would soon figure out what he did and be able to catch up to him easily?

Maybe he could try to climb up instead…but in these heels? It was suicide!

“Fufufu!”

…screw it. 

He opened up his window, only to meet a new pair of eyes.

Ladybug stared in surprise from her place at his windowsill, a certain box in hand.

“…hi?”

“Oh thank god!” He exclaimed. He took her by her shoulders, half leaning out and half pulling her in. “Alya’s insisting on taking pictures! Please tell me you have my Miraculous with you!”

“Actually, about that—”

“I don’t care! I’ll do anything! Just please—SAVE ME!”

Ladybug looked back behind her to a distant rooftop and the other allies she’d left behind.

The sound of a key jingling could be heard and Nino stared up at her, pleadingly.

Well, she could never resist the eyes…

By the time they’d gotten the door open, the room was empty.

Nino was gone.

_____________________

Six heroes stood assembled.

Ladybug.

Chat Noir.

Carapace.

Viperion.

King Monkey.

Pegasus.

Six heroes.

Five of whom were male.

And…still wearing some semblance of feminine maid-like outfits.

Ladybug wasn’t sure if she should be impressed or worried.

“What the hell?! I thought the Miraculous were supposed to change us into our hero suits?” Nino groused.

Contrary to his hopes and expectations, using the Miraculous had not transformed him into his normal Carapace look, but had rather simply given him a different outfit. The dress itself was green and had a turtle shell pattern, while the apron and waist belts were a brown color. The bowknot around his neck was a dark green and a brown to match the apron. He wore stockings. And to his very limited relief, his shoes were flats instead of heels.

“Well, at least this skirt is longer.” Pegasus said, now wearing a dark brown blouse and bicycle skirt. The skirt went to just above his ankles, for which he was grateful. But this seemed to be countered by the increase of height to his heels.

Plus no corset. The outfit was still fit tightly and not very comfortable, but at least he could breathe now.

“Though I believe we’re getting away from maid-wear now.” Chat said, conversationally.

Pegasus gave him a flat look. “I’m not complaining.”

If Chat had witnessed his earlier ensemble, surely he would understand.

King Monkey, for his part, seemed somewhat appeased with his Miraculous suit. It was a notably more Eastern style of dress, appearing more like robes worn by palace servants. He wore a light brown waistcoat with wide sleeves over a blouse and a wrap-around skirt. It looked heavy, but Kim seemed to have no trouble with it. Maybe it was made of a lighter material…?

And Viperion’s dress was different in style as well. Whereas his maid outfit as Luka had been more punk, this was more sleek. Wearing a green sleeveless dress and white smock, as well as what appeared to be a green corset. The dress had a slit at the sides, giving more maneuverability for his legs…as well as more show, given the appearance of a garter belt and stockings. His shoes were high heeled but including a beautiful snake design that wrapped around his ankles. To finish it off, rather than remain bare, his arms were covered in what appeared to be loose green sleeves that started at his elbows and extended to his wrists.

…maybe a picture or two wouldn’t hurt? Or three? Because the amount of details on these outfits were amazing and she was just brimming with ideas now…

Ladybug broke out of her musings when someone tugged on her shoulder to get her attention.

It was Chat. Chat who, much like the other heroes, as dressed in a fantastical outfit. Though a maid outfit, it was definitely more cat-themed with a giant paw-like gloves covering his hands, a paw print on his apron, and bow and bell on his tail which rang as he shifted.

What material was that made of, anyway? She kind of wanted to give it a feel and see if she could find something to compare it to. Maybe a quick sketch?

Oh. Right.

Akuma.

Maybe if she was lucky, they could finish this quickly so she could rush back home and take notes while she still had the ideas bouncing in her brain.

…maybe someone would have gotten pictures by then…?

“Ladybug?” Chat whispered, snapping her back to reality.

“Yes?”

Chat frowned in concern. “Is the Guardian okay with this?”

Ladybug froze.

“PSST! Ladybug!” Came a voice from a nearby rooftop, drawing her attention.

“Master Fu?”

“Ladybug! Here’s the Miracle Box. Take as many allies as you can and resolve this as soon as possible!”

“Master? Are…you hiding in a box?”

“No questions! Just go!”

“…he’s fine.”

Chat seemed uncertain, but decided not to pry.

“Let’s just split up and find the akuma.” Ladybug said. “But don’t engage until we’re all together!”

With that, the six split into three groups, with Chat and Carapace going one way and King Monkey and Pegasus going another, leaving Ladybug and Viperion searching together with the former trying not to get caught stealing peeks at the latter.

“Is something wrong?” He asked with a smile.

…trying. The key word was trying not to get caught.

“No! Nothing!” She replied quickly. “I’m just…surprised that you can still move so quickly in those heels.”

“I’ve had practice.” He explained, still smiling. He even lifted one leg behind him, managing to stand perfectly balanced even on one leg in heels.

“I…see.”

Part of her wanted very much to laugh. It was the same part that had found this entire day ridiculous. The other part of her was her inner artist at work and really wanted to make a few sketches inspired from the presented outfits. Like Viperion’s sleeves…and those shoes with a snake coil wrapping around the ankle…

“Ladybug!”

Gaah! Focus!

She turned towards the shout to find King Monkey and Pegasus stumbling towards her.

Her fingers twitched. She ignored it.

“We found the akuma.” King Monkey reported. “She doesn’t seem to be doing anything. Just…kind or roaming around.”

“And laughing.” Pegasus added bitterly. “She appears to be doing a lot of that.”

“How’s THAT for ‘doll them up’?” Came a shout from street level. “HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?!”

As if on cue…

Ladybug and the others peeked over the edge of the roof.

“Has she displayed any other powers?” She asked.

“No.” Pegasus replied. “From what we could see, her power has already been activated to…obvious effect.” He hesitated, resolutely avoiding mentioning his new outfit or the indignity he’d already suffered. “She has only been laughing. And tripping the occasional person while searching for someone in particular—possibly the one responsible for her ire.”

Ladybug nodded. “At least she’s distracted and doesn’t know we’re here. We just need a plan of attack before we try to fight her.”

“No problem!” King Monkey said with a grin as he reached for his weapon. “We can just do a head on attack with our weapons and—”

They stared.

In place of his staff was a broom. A normal cleaning broom.

They sent cautious glances to each other before they checked their own inventory.

Said inventory consisted of a broom, a bucket, and a feather duster.

“I believe that constitutes as a problem.” Pegasus stated worriedly.

“That’s no fair!” King Monkey exclaimed. “Adrien was able to summon a machete!”

Ladybug blanched at that. “A what?!”

Pegasus pushed up his glasses. “I believe it’s a component of his…‘cosplay’?”

“Pfft!” Ladybug covered her mouth with her hand.

“Ladybug?”

“I-it’s nothing!” She replied hurriedly.

Viperion raised his eyebrow at her but didn’t comment.

King Monkey at least seemed to take it in stride.

“Now we just need a plan for attack!”

“With what?!” Pegasus questioned, waving the feather duster in frustration. “Our weapons don’t work!”

“More like our weapons aren’t actually weapons.” Viperion said, considering his bucket.

“I could smack her.” King Monkey offered, holding up his broom. “Maybe your feather duster has dust on it and could make her sneeze?”

Pegasus gave him a flat look.

“I think the broom is the best weapon we have right now.”

“Don’t knock a bucket!” King Monkey commanded, resolutely. “I got one stick on my head one time and it took hours to get it off! Buckets are evil, man!”

Pegasus sighed and rubbed his head. “It concerns me that you’re the second person I know whom that has happened to.”

Ladybug coughed, discretely trying to draw attention off that particular subject lest identities be at risk. “Anyway, I think I have a plan...”

______________________

To be honest, it wasn’t that difficult of an akuma. Especially not with six of them teaming up against it.

Akumaid truly see to have no ability other than the initial one of transforming what any male in Paris was wearing into something embarrassing...unless you were Adrien, apparently. Aside from that, she showed no other power—neither over the clothes themselves or the people wearing them. Well, she wasn’t controlling any of the victims or shrinking the clothing to choke them at any rate...which if you think about it, was rather lame for an akuma in the power department.

The only real disadvantage in battle came in the difficulty the boys had moving freely in their current outfits. And the afore noted lack of proper weaponry.

Their advantage of surprising was ruined by Chat’s bell ringing before they could ambush her, and both Carapace and Pegasus losing balance with their heels and falling over. King Monkey’s outfit, while longer, also meant more fabric to flap about and resist his movements regardless of how light it may have been, so he wasn’t able to get a hit in fast enough before the akuma turned on him and knocked him away.

Chat was able to get a hit in though.

With his…Kitty Wand…

“THIS IS MAGICAL PUNISHMENT!” He shouted as he smacked the akuma over the head.

“Chat. Chat no. Chat why?”

And Ladybug had hopelessly lost her composure by this point and was laughing. Just laughing. Laughing so hard she was crying actual tears as she smacked her own thigh in her struggle to breathe. Viperion was trying to help her stay standing, keeping an arm around her to support her as she half leaned and half chuckled tears into his chest.

“What’s going on? Does the akuma have some power over Ladybug, too?” King Monkey asked.

…

Viperion sighed.

“Sure. Something to that effect.”

Ladybug wheezed.

“LADYBUG!”

“Lu-haha-lucky haha-charm!”

It said something when her own Lucky Charm magicked up a paper bag. With Ladybug still victim to her fit of giggles, Viperion simply put the bag over her face and had her try to breathe.

“A paper bag doesn’t help with out of control laughing.” Pegasus noted as he forced himself to his feet.

“Do you want to try to figure out the Lucky Charm?” Viperion bit out in annoyance, Ladybug still shaking in his arms.

Pegasus coughed and backed away. “No, thank you.”

Ladybug let out another giggle.

“All right, enough! I’ll stop her!” Carapace shouted, reaching for his back. “With my…serving plate.”

His shield.

His precious shield was gone.

“…Carapace?” Ladybug asked.

The newly rendered Turtle Maid sighed and simply threw the plate as he had his shield, not expecting much.

…the plate slice flew through the air at a surprising speed, but missed the akuma entirely. Instead, it sailed past her, hitting a light post.

Ladybug had expected it to bounce, but instead there was a sound of shredding metal as the serving plate actually tore through the lamp post and into the concrete itself.

The lamp post, now detached, tilted and fell over—conveniently on top of the akuma before she had the time to realize what was happening and move out of the way.

SLAM!

It fell on top of her and she hit the ground.

“Huzzah?” Kim asked.

“Well…that’s one way to defeat an akuma.” Pegasus marveled.

“Great. Now can we fix this already?” Carapace asked impatiently. If they took too much longer, someone was bound to catch them.

That someone would probably be Alya.

And that was the last thing he wanted at this point.

“But I kind of wanted to make a sketch at least…” Ladybug muttered to herself, holding the paper bag Charm to her chest.

“LADYBUG!”

She waved her hands insistently. “I’m on it!”

But she could dream…

“MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

It was with some disappointment that the Miraculous Cure wiped away the outfits of the other heroes, returning them to their original costumes.

“OH THANK GOD!”

“That was…horrible…”

“Corsets were invented as a torture method, I swear…”

“Shieldy!” Carapace exclaimed, hugging the shield in relief. “Never leave me again!”

“You okay now, Ladybug?” Chat asked her in worry.

“I’m fine.” She said, even though she wasn’t really. She felt like she’d missed a chance, even if it was for the greater good. But it would have been an abuse of her power to be taking pictures of the guys in that state and she already felt bad enough for breaking down laughing in the middle of the fight.

In that moment, however, the loveliness of ladybugs that made up the Cure returned from their task of restoring Paris to flow over Ladybug herself before vanishing, leaving her holding an envelope in their wake. Curious, she opened the envelope…

She gasped.

Inside were a multitude of photos of the other heroes. From different angles. In different positions. All of them in their new outfits.

Ladybug bit the inside of her cheek to keep from responding and drawing attention to herself.

…Thank you, Tikki.

Best. Kwami. Ever. “Ladybug…” Carapace said in growing wariness. “What is that?”

“Nothing!”

“Ladybug. That better not be what I think it is…”

She shoved the photos back in the envelope.

“It’s nothing at all!”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

Noticing the stand off, the others approached as well.

“It was just something I was missing, yeah.”

“Then let us see it.”

“Can’t.” She replied, clutching the envelope to her chest. “It’s…Ladybug stuff.”

“Hand it over. Right now!”

"NOOO! THESE ARE FOR THE FUTURE OF FASHIOOOON!”

“GIVE US THE PHOTOS!”

“Wait—did she get any of all of us in a group cosplay pic?”

“NOT NOW, CHAT!”

Unfortunately, that small distraction was all she needed to get away.

Viperion, the only one having been pretty nonchalant this whole time, simply watched her leave and the others shout after her.

“…isn’t she going to take our Miraculous back?”

_________________________

Angela sighed, already dreading what was to come.

It was a humiliating end to an already humiliating week as the former akuma victim had been forced to return to her job to go over the updates for the new Ladybug game with the rest of her team.

Said updates were apparently to include maid outfits for the female heroes thanks to one particular coworker who had decided to work on maid outfits for the female heroes instead of the level he was assigned. It had been part of the reason she had been angry enough to be akumatized.

The fact that he was insistent on shoving his maid fetish into the game for no good reason other than having them be eye candy was the other part.

The images in question that he insisted on bringing featured the three female super heroes of the city: Ladybug, Rena Rouge, and Queen Bee.

But not as anyone had ever seen them.

Instead of their usual hero suits, the three girls were portrayed in sultry, even provocative poses. And most notably, all three were wearing some mockery of a French Maid outfit…as what would be believed by Americans, no less.

They might as well have been the initial sketches of pinup posters.

“You can’t still be serious!”

“Hey, I’m not the one who got akumatized just because I was jealous that someone else had a good idea.” He said bitingly and giving her a pointed look, perhaps still a bit bitter of the aforementioned experience that her akumatization had caused.

“It’s not a good idea, John.” Angela countered. “There was no reason to have the girls be running in maid outfits.”

He shrugged. “We could just say an akuma did it. After all, we did just get an akuma who did exactly that.” He said, giving her another look.

She clenched her fists and was about to retort when their team lead entered the room.

The meeting commenced and she’d been forced to bite her tongue. Each of the team members went over their progress and updates for their contribution to the game. Level design. Enemies. Testing.

And then came his grand achievement. Instead of the level he was assigned, he gave scantily clad designs for three of the eight known heroes.

What effort.

“I was thinking we really need to include something to make our game stand out, so I made some extra skins for the heroes.” He bragged, sending her a smug look. “The appeal would sell plenty of copies.”

“Or the controversy.” Angela muttered back before turning to the team lead and hoping that the man leading their group had more empathy…or sense.

The team lead looked over the designs with an analyzing gaze. Tiffeny, despite the initial impression his name would give, was a rather buff man who took no shit. But was also a guy. Who liked guy things. But did those things include young women in maid costumes?

After a moment, Tiffeny dropped the pictures on the table and looked at John incredulously. “You know, if you were going to base skins off recent events, you could at least have been authentic.”

John stared. “What?”

“It was the guys who were affected by Akumaid. Not the girls. If we’re going to do maids, we need to keep it true to life, just like the rest of the designs we’ve included. We talked about this when we started this project.”

“But it’s what the audience wants!” John argued.

“Do you know who comprises the majority of our audience?” Tiffeny asked. “Girls. Girls, gay guys, and those who are exploring their interests. Guys in the outfits would sell leagues more than the girls.” He started ticking his fingers “It’s different. It’s original. And it’s based in actual events. People would love it.”

“But…they’ll love this!”

“Man, if people wanted to see sexy girls in skimpy clothing, they’d play literally any other game! Or watch porn.” Tiffeny explained. “But what game do you know of has had guys in maid outfits?”

“Well...”

“Exactly. We want to stand out. And we even have recent events as justification. So if you’re going to be wasting time you should be spending on level-making to put people in maid skins, then get those male heroes some maid costumes.”

“But that’s not fair!” John exclaimed.

Tiffeny paused at that. “Hmm…you’re right.”

With that, he turned to her. “You’re good at designing. Make some butler outfits for the girls. Something dashing to serve as a counter for the guys.”

Angela blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling.

“Sure thing!”

“You know…” one of the other workers noted. “While we’re on the subject, I WAS thinking of some medieval armor designs for the girls and princess dresses for the guys.”

“Hey yeah! Like a light green for Viperion!”

“Maybe teal might be better?”

“Ooo! How about…”

Soon enough, everyone seemed to be invested in the new plan.

Everyone that is, except John.

“Lovely!” Tiffeny said cheerfully. “Plan it out and bring the concepts to me later.”

With a new task in hand and John’s pouting to forever be a memory to hold onto, it seemed her day was looking up…

_________________________

“That was some akuma battle.” Marinette said as she slid into her seat next to Alya.

The reporter, however, only looked annoyed. “Ladybug had apparently called all the male heroes and I completely missed it!” She groaned and leaned back in her seat, bemoaning the lost opportunity.

If she’d hadn’t been so focused on tracking Nino for the purpose of collecting blackmail ensuring his safety, she would have been able to catch all of the male heroes in their maid outfits.

Marinette smiled. “You know…I may have a connection…”

Alya gasped.

“No.”

Marinette giggled and slid over her phone with a picture showing.

“NO WAY!” She cried out before staring up at Marinette in shock. “Girl, you have to send me these!”

“Wait—you have what now?” Nino had arrived, initially hopeful that he had avoided the worst of that day only to have those hopes immediately dashed upon arriving to see the two girls sharing what could only have been one thing…

“I have pictures of the heroes in their new outfits.” Marinette replied cheerfully as she swiped through her phone. “Oh look, Nino! You’re in here, too!”

“WHAT?! NO!” He shouted, rushing forward.

Marinette quickly grabbed back her phone and hid it in her pocket with an overly sweet and not at all innocent grin.

“Mari, come on, no! Don’t do this to me!” He begged.

“Don’t do this to ME!” Alya cut in. “You can’t just show me that and take it away! That’s just not fair!”

“Don’t worry.” Marinette assured them. “It’s going where all my blackmail material goes.”

“Wait what?”

“Since when do you have blackmail material?”

“Since somebody started a game of ‘let’s take pictures of Marinette while she’s asleep and post them online’.” Marinette replied dryly.

Nino groaned. “Come on! I said I was sorry!”

“And now I can be just as sorry.” She replied blithely.

Which was to say: not sorry at all.

“Come on! Alya made me do it!”

“It was just in fun! Marinette! Please!”

“Do you want me to beg? Cry? I’ll cry.”

“I’ll pay you! Pretty please! At least the heroes if nothing else!”

“Oh no you don’t!”

“My blog NEEDS this!”

Marinette smiled at the minor chaos she had caused as the normally happy couple bickered with each other.

Sweet sweet music.

“Hey, Marinette!”

And speaking of sweet…

She turned to look up at a certain blond-haired model as he arrived at his own desk. Though he seemed to be a bit distracted by the arguing couple.

“Hey, Adrien!” She greeted, for once with no stutter to speak of.

“Hey, um…are they okay?” He asked, gesturing to the two.

“Oh, they’re fine.” She said, waving them off. “Just…a bit excited over the recent akuma.”

At that, Adrien brightened. “Wasn’t it awesome?”

She nodded, trying to keep her laughter inside.

“You…ah…enjoyed yourself then?”

Adrien shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. “Well, it’s not often I get to dress up in a way that’s ‘silly’. Or in anything that isn’t promoting Father’s brand. And I’ve never gotten to cosplay. So it was…really fun.”

Oh. Ouch. Okay, that one kind of hurt. The poor Sunshine Child…

“You know…” Marinette said, leaning over her desk and smiling at him. “I’ve seen a bit of that one anime you mentioned.”

“Cells at Work?” He asked, brightening up.

She nodded. “Mmhmm. I could make you a jacket based off the lead Red Blood Cell. And if you like, I can keep it so you can wear it whenever we hang out.”

He gasped. “Really?”

“Sure! Maybe you can come over sometime so we can try a fitting. We could even play Mecha Strike.”

Adrien beamed. “That sounds great! Thanks, Marinette!”

She waved him off and went back to full sitting in her seat.

Alya and Nino both became distracted from their arguing by the miracle they had just witnessed.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng had just spoken to Adrien Agreste…and not a stutter to be heard!

“What the heck, girl?” Alya whispered, sliding into her seat beside her friend. “Since when could you do THAT and why haven’t you done it sooner? I could swear I saw hearts in his eyes!”

Marinette shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “After seeing Adrien Agreste in a maid dress, I kind of wondered why I was so scared of talking to him to begin with.”

Alya laughed. “Well, at least something good came out of this, then.”

“You know...more good WOULD come out of this if I had pics of those heroes..." 

“Really, Alya?”

“You’re pretty much the only one who managed to get any shots of the male heroes!” Alya exclaimed. “Seriously, how?!”

Marinette giggled.

“Just lucky, I guess.”

________________________

OMAKE 1:

Knock! Knock!

“Felix?” His mother called on the other side of the locked and barricaded door. “Will you be coming out?”

“That depends. Do you have a camera?”

A pause. Which was all the answer he needed.

“Then no.”

OMAKE 2:

Fortunately, in the midst of their searching, the team had managed to find the akuma and her primary target, getting between the two.

“So what happened?” Ladybug asked him.

John gripped his skirt, nervously. “She’s my coworker in developing a new video game and she didn’t like my input.”

“What set her off?”

The guy rolled his eyes. “She’s one of those types who wants to take the fun out of video games.”

“What?” Ladybug blinked.

“Okay, so I wanted to put some maid costumes in the game! It was just for fun! Besides, it would have added a bit of pizazz! Something for the players to enjoy!”

“You could just try making a good game.” Pegasus pointed out. “If you have to rely on a cheap gimmick to get buyers, it may not be a good product.”

"I'm sorry, really! I mean, sure, I'm still going to put it in the game, because who wouldn't want hot maids, but still! That doesn't mean I deserve this!"

The akuma raised her fist and shouted at him. “THEY ARE HEROES, DAMMIT! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN MAID SKINS JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE GIRLS!”

Ladybug blanched. “Wait…is the game about me?”

Pegasus coughed and looked away. “There have been…rumors, yes.”

Viperion tilted his head. “That seems like a double standard though…since we’re the ones in maid outfits...”

“Not the point, Viperion!”

Ladybug frowned.

“I don’t think I want to help now.”

“Ladybug!”

#ml fic #ml crack #ladybug #chat noir #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #carapace #luka couffaine #viperion #max kante #kim le chien #alya cesaire #gabriel is an idiot #they could make their own #maid cafe au #random waiter #praying for you buddy #ml humor #yes i wrote this entire thing because one person said hawk maid #I REGRET NOTHING

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

Your writing is so sweet!!! Made my day :) i’ve got prompts if you want some: tag me if you write them i’ld love to see

-hair dye and braids

-« they all think i’m someone i’m not and i feel like you’re the only one that sees me as i am »

Okay this is more of a headcanon (and i got a bit carried away) but: Harry’s love language is feeding people and act of services because that’s the only way he was deemed worthy when he was a child. / Draco’s is gift giving and words of affection because that’s what he got as a child. That makes them perfect for each other because what Harry missed the most during his childhood was material things and being told he was loved so getting gifts and being told he’s loved makes him so happy. Also i can just see him losing his mind after Draco tells him ‘bye i love you’ after being friends for like a day, in 8th year, or bought him expensive gifts. Draco missed acts of service more in his childhood because even though he was told he was loved and was spoiled rotten, his parents would never ever care for him like that. It would have been house elves and then he would have been expected to do everything on his own as soon as he could and had always been expected to care for himself. Like if he forgot a jacket and got cold, his parents would have told him to learn from it so he loses his mind when Harry casually packs an extra sweater for him. His parents would spoil him with expensive things but they would have never spend hours cooking a complicated cake just because he says he misses it but can’t find it in any store (which Harry does because Harry’s Harry) and would only have said to him he should get over it. What makes it even better if that they don’t realise how important the things that they do are for the other person because it’s not a big deal for them.

Firstly thank you so much for your compliment. I loved the idea so much that i poured out everything I could in this one prompt. Here's a little song I heard that fit perfectly well - say you won't let go by James Arthur. For you @iamactuallya-cat ( also I'm not sure what hair dye and braids meant , if it was a prompt I'm sorry, just tell me I'll do that too )

Habits of my heart

" I believe Someone somewhere is made just for you; Love is about finding the missing half, the one person who will complete you "

" and you actually believe that ?" Harry asked as he rowed the boat to the center of the lake.

" If we're going to put the flaws in the idea of love then the whole idea of being in love is flawed Harry but to answer your question yes I do " Draco smiled.

" And do you also believe in love at first sight ?" Harry asked passed Draco the sandwich he had packed for this.

" No, I don't think the man I will end up with will be the same man I fell in love with at first sight. You can have strong infatuation at first sight but love, no " Draco replied with a smile.

" me ? Love just happens. That's all I believe in. I don't believe that there's only person out there for you, I think love is about going with the flow, giving someone the whole of you and them doing the same for you" Harry replied. Harry actually did not know what he thought of love someday's. To him it felt like love was something to be lost one day, like everyone he had lost but then there was love like Ron and Hermione and Ron's family. Maybe love was after all Caring, he used to think.

" and what do you believe ?" Draco asked him.

Harry didn't realise when did malfoy one day turned into just Draco malfoy. When did Draco became someone he created space for at the table or when did he became someone who's anger bothered him very much or when did Draco's Inconsistent behaviour became a problem or when did he became someone he would save the last bite of pizza for or when did he became someone he couldn't study without , he didn't know . Or Maybe he knew it , Maybe it was one of those days when Harry and Draco with their friend's were just sitting and playing games or maybe it was after that one time they celebrated their tied match of quidditch or maybe it was during one of those Muggle studies lessons or maybe it was during one of the hangouts in the school garden or maybe it was after that one time Draco had absent Mindedly said " I'm gonna go now. Bye . Love you ". Whenever it was Harry decided Draco bothered him very much and he wanted to be bothered very much. His appreciation about Harry, his words of encouragements, his support after the prophet wrote something shitty about him or his little scoldings to harry after he got into a fight and his little I love you's In a friendly way made Harry's heart skip a beat and he loved it. He loved it whenever Draco told him that he's much more better than people say or that he deserves all the kindness in the world or that he deserved to be cared for, Harry loved It from the moment Harry and Draco became friend's. Harry adored Draco, the way Draco said that the best thing about Draco was his hair or the way Draco thinks that one of his hand was shorter than the other or how green colour suited him the best, and even if all of it was wrong Harry adored each and every bit of it. Harry never thought he could feel this way about Someone but when after school Harry and Draco remained in touch he knew it wasn't friendship he looked for with Draco, it was so much more. But when Harry had gone through so much he didn't wanted to waste even a single day wondering if Draco felt the same way or not, he asked him out as casually as possible and when Draco said yes, he planned the date just how he knew Draco would've liked it .

It was soon when they developed a habit of showing love in different ways. Harry understood that for Draco love meant showing him how much he loved him by taking them out on a beautiful date and telling him constantly he loved him very much. It was in kissing Harry on forehead whenever he woke up next to him. His love was in writing letter to harry during work . His love was in supporting Harry in his work but telling him how dangerous it is for both of them. His love was in proposing Harry with the most magnificent speech and ring. His love was in making love with Harry and not just casual sex. His love was in dressing up nice for Harry's parties. His love was in words and whispers . That was his love for Harry and harry thought he loved it more than he even loved Draco. He never understood what love meant coming from his unrequited love experience but when he was with draco he understood love was something more than just Caring and it meant an incredible deal how nonchalantly Draco did all of this without having even the slightest idea how much it made Harry fall in love deeper everyday .

And Draco understood for Harry, love was packing an extra sweater for Draco whenever they went for a casual hangout , it was giving him his jacket whenever Draco got cold , it was putting a blanket over him when he fell asleep on the couch reading. To him love was feeding the kids at the orphanage because he knew what it felt like being an orphan . To him love was making a gift for Draco because he loved seeing the priceless smile on Draco's face . To him love was going to every bakery in the world to find that one recipe of the cake loved so much and staying up all night to make it for Draco after 97 fail attempts. To him love was listening to all of Draco's stories . To him love was Washing Draco when he got fractured . To him love was showing Draco off to the world that he was the love of his life. To him love was putting a warming spell on Draco's tea whenever he left for work early. To him love was putting up a nice bath for Draco after he had returned from a stressful day. To him love was folding the corner of the top of the magazine when he felt Draco would've loved that page. And it was his love in simplicity that made it much more meaningful because Harry did all of this out of habit but a habit for Draco. Draco loved how incredibly unaware Harry was of all these things and did this almost everyday. Draco had never known a reciprocated love , he thought affection could only be bought from expensive gifts or eating his favourite food made by the elves. He never knew that love could be more than just dealing with your mistake, or it could be more than just big houses or it could be much more than spoiling himself with shopping or gifts but with Harry he understood that you can learn from your mistakes, you don't have to punish yourself for your mistake you didn't intend to make, he understood with him that love could also be bought in preparing dinner together , he understood it could also be in small house's , he understood that love could also be in people. He understood that when you love, you really do love . He understood love was so much more than just 4 letters, it was the green eyes, the bronze skin ,it was the beautiful laughter, it was the scar on his forehead, it was Harry. Love was Harry.

It drove both of them insane of how less it mattered them both of how they expressed their love but that was the thing about their love . They loved each other so deeply in an unknowing way that nobody could understand. And all of this made them so perfect for each other. Their love wasn't out of a fairy tale but their love was like a story that people would pass on as a beautiful significance of love , a personal story grandparents would share with their grandchildren when asked what love is and the answer would be " love is what they had "

They all said you can't love him or you're not good for each other or that you don't belong together but after being together for 29 years Harry still feels the same way he did when he was 18. Somedays he feel like he's still stuck in time and time never really moved on but it's been long, long time after that first date but even after all these years Harry still dreams of waking up next to Draco.

This happened during one of their evening tea time when they had to babysit for their grandchildren . Harry was just listening to music and Draco was simply reading out to Rosslyn when she asked " how did you know you were the one for each other ?"

Harry and Draco turned to each other smiling.

" I knew it when he saved me on the night of the war. Because despite being enemies for the longest time he still saved me. And when I knew I just knew he was the only one I wanted to grow old with " Draco told Rosslyn with a charming smile.

" they all thought of me as someone I'm not but Draco was the only one who saw me for me and that's when I knew it. I knew it then that he was the only one for me " Harry smiled looking at Draco instead of Rosslyn.

" you guys are still so in love. I want your kind of love " she sighed. Harry took her in his lap and said " you know Rosslyn I believe Someone somewhere is made just for you; Love is about finding the missing half, the one person who will complete you and when you find them, you know it " Harry kissed her cheek softly.

" really ?" She asked curiously.

" yeah " Harry smiled at her and then vaguely looked at Draco who was affectionately looking at them . And to him Draco still looked the man he fell in love with when he was 18 and will be the man he would be in love with when he's 80 because that's his love and this was their love story.

I will cry if this doesn't get notes tbh

Side prompts- request open -

hair dye and braids

Day 6- pinned

#drarry #harry potter #drarry incorrect quotes #draco x harry #hp fandom #harry james potter #drarry prompt #draco is gay #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy #drarry stuff #drarry squad #drarry ship #drarry fandom #drarry fic rec #drarry fest #drarry fluff #drarry ficlet #james arthur #say you won't let go #drarry imagines #drarry prompts #incorrect drarry #drarry au #drarry headcanon

[tooweirdforyou]

Good news! :)

I’m so happy to say I am feeling better, my cough is gone after so long 😭 I feel decent, not great though lol :’)

-

Prompt 29 pt. 2 with Shanks is expected to post by Tuesday, Oct 26, but it may be posted earlier. Warning, I had to cut it a LOT shorter than I wanted it to be because it’s been forever and I just can’t write nsfw for too long. I hope you enjoy what I give nonetheless :(

But after I post that, I will NO longer be accepting ANY ONE PIECE REQUESTS!

people are sending in requests when they’re closed too, (( someone literally said, “please write this smut ( their request ) I’ve never asked you for anything before plz do it )) and I’m just like.. you really think I’m going to do it after that?

people know I accept requests regardless if my requests are closed because I’m nice like that, and I feel too bad to reject them, but asking like that is sooo incredibly rude :/

-

anyways so I got a few new requests. I swear I’ll work on the tiktok ones some more as soon as I post that shanks smut for someone, I promise. They make me really excited to do them!!

also if y’all wanna roleplay with me :’) @bajis-princess —

new followers, I don’t bite, you can also come talk with me!! I received a new anon too actually.

🕊 anon, where have I seen you…? you aren’t an original anon of mine, I don’t think. Have I seen you on other tr blogs or is it just me?? I SWEAR IVE SEEN THIS ANON BEFORE??

-

Also, when you guys buy clothes online, do you use Shein? I literally heard about it from my friend yesterday-

-

I feel bad for being on and off on this blog and not posting anything but spamming it with asks and eventual reblogs.. but the true supporters stay and that’s all I care about. <3

I love you guys so much, thanks for sticking with me for so long. Now that I’m better, life is still as stressful, if not more, and seeing notifs make me so happy. 💞🥰 stay safe!

#tooweirdforyou

[vegalocity]

Since you requested peachpig from me. How about peachpig with hugs 29, kisses 15 and 29?

Affection meme

29. hugging while slow dancing

15. soothing kisses

29. hushed conversation in-between kisses

Ngl @tigerseye46 I REALLY like your Dark Peachpig stuff so i hope you don't mind terribly that I’m using that as a basis. Its a diverging 'what if' so that should help lol

--

It was... kind of embarrassing that he hadn't figured it out on his own.

Though to be fair, It wasn't like he had ‘magic truth seeing eyes’ like His part-... His ex-...His hus-... Like Sun Wukong did. And this world was kind of… made to throw him off balance, and with that everything else followed.

Waking up in the middle of the night to a knocking on his door wasn’t...something he was particularly used to of course, But it wasn’t wholly unfamiliar. Of course with the rain pounding down in sheets (Did the weather machine break again? That thing was so damn buggy what was the point in having it?) he couldn’t hear any telltale noises from the other side of the door other than the insistent knocking itself.

He was expecting Xiaotian, maybe Xiaojiao. At Most Strange, Red Son. Mystic Monkey Business, Panic attacks, ‘I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go’ He’d seen a fair amount of the kids on his doorstep before with a fair amount of reasons for their presence. And you know… he figured it would probably be easier to take care of one of the kids right now than to deal with his own emotional garbage anyway.

And then he opened the door and his entire thought process derailed with Sun Wukong standing there, in his true form (the same as his casual form but at least a head shorter than him) fur soaked and heavy from the rainfall, and very visibly choking back tears.

“Wukong…” he’d curse the tremble in his voice but his brain wasn’t quite working right now, so consumed with shock he couldn’t do much else but stand there. Wukong was trembling, from emotion (As surely he’d handled far colder weather) and as the Monkey King took a deep breath as if to steady himself, Pigsy wanted nothing more than to kiss the misery right off of him.

But that wouldn’t be welcome right now, would it?

“Pigsy… Can we talk?” His voice cracked with emotion and Pigsy felt he was helpless to do anything but stand aside and let the Monkey in.

“Are you alright?” what a stupid question. Wukong laughed bitterly in response.

“Not really…” He sniffed and Pigsy wanted again to comfort him, but, again, confronted that he’d probably make it worse. “Look, all of this stuff… it’s been a lot and my head’s been all over the place this whole time but I can’t play the denial game anymore just because I want to be miserable.” Wukong scrubbed at his eyes. “And we need to talk, like WOW do we need to talk. But honestly?” He shrugged, helplessly. “I just miss you.”

And.. this honestly felt like some moment at the end of a cheesy romance movie, and yeah they really did need to talk about everything. But in that moment, now that he knew he could, All Pigsy was interested in, was giving in to the urge and kissing the misery right off of Wukong’s face.

And after that they did talk, extensively, the fact that a fair bit of it involved the two of them clinging to each other and sharing far softer kisses on the couch as the rain continued to pelt against the windows was beside the point. Wukong stayed in his smaller form, Pigsy only asked about it briefly and Wukong only responded that he’d just really prefer to be held over doing the holding right now.

It was… odd at first, Wukong seemed to be under the impression that he needed to make the majority of the apologies, that somehow the whole ‘Being Zhu Baije’ Stuff was more important than Wukong knowing the initial purpouse of their relationship (before Pigsy had realized, before he’d known better) and playing along anyway; but he also seemed to easily accept it when Pigsy began to trade his own apologies.

They both had stuff to apologize for, and he was just glad he was finally given a chance to.

Then for a time they’d simply cuddled, allowed the wounds to heal in eachother’s presence. Pigsy had nodded off again at some point, but by the time he woke up it was still dark out, the rain still pelting the windows. He was alone on the couch but he could hear a familiar rummaging coming from the kitchen. Though it was probably late enough that there was no point in trying to sleep again, he figured he should just start the day properly by now.

It seemed like Wukong was of a similar mind because just as he’d properly sat up and stretched the monkey returned from the kitchen with a few cut up peaches, the bowl sat between the two of them as a simple breakfast.

“What time is it?”

“Early.”

They ate in silence, sweet, blessed, comfortable silence. He hadn’t wanted to fantasize about it from how much he’d been afraid it would never happen again but now that it was back, he found himself positively basking in it. When Wukong leaned to the side just enough to rest his head on Pigsy’s shoulder it was more than he’d expected would ever happen again.

This whole thing must have started earlier than he thought because just as he was starting to get restless the sun was no closer to creeping over the horizon. And it seemed like Wukong was getting restless at about the same time too.

“Okay I’m getting bored of being tired and sad.” He finally stated, standing up and stretching. “Lets do something nice, we haven’t done something nice since any of this started.”

“What do you have in mind?” Wukong thought for a second before grinning at Pigsy, a proper, happy grin that, after so much sad had just transpired, made his gut flip in and his face feel hot. He rushed over to Pigsy’s media setup and fiddled with things there until soft music began to play.

Wukong shook his head twice and with a puff of golden smoke went back to his preferred taller size, most likely so while Pigsy was still sat on the couch he could look suave as he offered a hand and grinned down at him. “Dance with me?”

And you know, maybe if they hadn’t just gotten back together he would deny how well that actually worked, tease him for being a cheesy dork. But as it was he just accepted.

The rain had made Wukong smell a little different, not by much but… different. And he wasn’t necessarily sure if it was a good change or not, but he felt the same, the soft caramel fur had long since dried and was gentle against his skin, he felt his tail coil its way around his hips and had practically encircled Pigsy in his warmth.

It was sad that things had to go over the way they did, but he supposed if they hadn’t then this wouldn’t feel quite as good. The ache had finally given way, Zhu Baije was quieting down in his head now that things were as they were supposed to be again.

It was, for lack of a better word,

a perfect morning.

And then there was a shake, a crack like a splinter of wood a blinding light-

"Dadsy! Are you alright? I'm gonna KILL those two idiots..."

-and it was gone.

--

Send me stuff

#Peachpigshipping #Peachpig #tigerseye46 #lmk Pigsy #Lmk Sun Wukong #letters to Vega #Vega writes stories too #affection meme #turned angsty lol #Edit: HEY TUMBLR FUCKED UP MY INTRO PARAGRAPH AGAIN

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Jungkook Prompt request:

1. “Have you ever kissed anyone before?” 74. “I didn’t take you for the settling down type.”

 Y/n! Do you want to come watch a movie with me?

No honorifics? I’ll have to think about that then. 

Sorry, noona! Will you please spend my day off with me? I really want to watch this movie with you. 

What movie is it?

You’ll just have to come over and find out!

Is it Your Name again?

......

Jungkook 😂We’ve seen that movie together like 5 times already!

I know! But it’s my favorite. Pretty please 🥺

Nooo don’t give me that pouty eyes emoji

Noona 🥺🥺🥺 please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ugh fine! Fine. I’ll be there in like an hour.

🥺🥺🥺

.....30 minutes

🥰 yay! See you soon! 

You quickly got yourself ready, not wanting to keep Jungkook waiting. You knew how much he loved his movie days with you and you always found it endearing that he wanted to spend his days off with you watching his favorite movie. 

True to your word, you showed up at his apartment 29 minutes later. You knocked on the door and were almost immediately enveloped in a hug. 

“I’m so happy to see you!”

“You too, Kook. How have you been? It’s been a while since I have seen you, did you get taller?” You try to reach up to ruffle his hair but he stands on his tip toes so you hand is just out of reach. 

“I don’t think so. Maybe you just got shorter.” He teases. You stick your tongue out at him playfully and he laughs at you. You’ve always loved the sound of his laugh, frequently it sent butterflies into your stomach at the sound and the adorable way his nose scrunched up. 

“So, shall we start our movie marathon night?” He nods his head and takes your hand to lead you to sit down on the couch with him. Skinship wasn’t unusual for the two of you. Often times by the end of the night Jungkook’s head would end up in your lap with your fingers carding through his hair. He always fell asleep so quickly whenever you played with his hair and it filled your heart with warmth to know he was able to relax that easily around you. After you are both settled on the couch, he starts the movie and sings along with every song that comes on, and humming along to the ones that didn’t have lyrics. You find yourself watching him and listening to him singing more than the actual movie. His voice made it feel like your soul was singing along with him. 

About half way through the movie you can tell he stops paying attention and is fidgeting with his hands, like he’s afraid to bring something up. You let your hand move to his thigh and rest it there, giving him a comforting squeeze and a smile. His gaze meets yours only for a second before he looks away and turns his attention back towards the movie. He mumbles something but you don’t quite catch what he says, so you ask him to repeat himself. 

“I said I really want a love like that someday.” Oh? That was new. In all the times you’ve been watching this movie with Jungkook he’s never actually told you why he likes it so much. 

“Is that why you like watching it?”

“Yeah. It just, makes me think maybe someday I can have something like that. Although I know it’s not real but still. The idea that fate has tied us to someone and our souls are meant to be together is a wonderful thought. It gives me hope.”

“It is a rather romantic idea isn’t it? Have you ever been in love before?” He blushes all the way up to his ears. 

“Um.. I mean.. not exactly? I’ve liked people before, but it’s never went any farther than that. I only want to fall in love once and that’s with the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. I want to hear the bells, you know like everything in this movie.” You can’t help but smile at that. 

“I didn’t take you for the settling down type.”

“Really? Why?”

“I don’t know it’s just... you’re young. I figured you’d want to live up your 20′s like most guys would.” Jungkook scoffs at that. 

“No thank you.”

“Have you kissed anyone before?”

Jungkook blushes even more at this questions and stutters so much you don’t quite understand what he said. 

“What was that, Jungkook?”

“I said no. I haven’t.”

“Do you want to kiss someone?”

“W-why are you asking me that?”

“I’m just curious! Don’t you want to know what it’s like?”

“Well yeah but only if it’s with the right person! I don’t want it to be with someone who only likes me for my money or status. Or someone who might drop me right after they get what they want from me.”

“So you want it to be with someone you trust?”

“Yeah.” 

“Have you met anyone like that?”

“Um.. I think so?”

“Someone I know?”

“Noona quit teasing me!” He grabs a cushion off the back of the couch and whacks you in the chest with it and you can’t help but let out a fit of laughter. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to tease you, I’m just curious is all. Because outside of BTS there are very few people you actually consider yourself close enough to that you would trust enough with that.” He grabs the pillow and holds it up to his face and mumbles something into it. You know it’s something he clearly didn’t want you to hear so you let it go, turning your attention back to the movie. You see Jungkook texting something out of the corner of your eye and a moment later your phone goes off. You lift an eyebrow at him questioningly but he doesn’t meet your gaze. He’s staring hard at the movie and clutching the cushion tightly to his chest. You open the message from him and what you read sends your heart thudding wildly in your chest. 

It’s you. 

Those two words cause your brain to cease functioning. You? Jungkook wants to kiss you? You stare at him but he seems to be too nervous to see your reaction as he continues to watch the movie. So you take out your phone and send him a message back.

You can kiss me if you want to, Kook.

He opens the message and you swear his eyes nearly pop out of his head as he reads it. 

“R-really?!”

“Mhm. I’ve liked you for a while now, just didn’t think you’d be interested in me so I never said anything.” 

“You really like me? You’re not just saying that because you feel bad for me or anything right?”

“Jungkook what kind of person do you think I am?”

“Right, you’re right I’m sorry. Forget I said that.” He looks down at his hands and picks at his nails nervously. You place your hand gently on his cheek and turn his gaze to face you. 

“If you don’t want this you can tell me to stop, okay?” He nods but doesn’t make any movements to push you away. So you lean in and place a quick peck to his lips, not wanting to overwhelm him right off the bat. You pull away and he chases after your lips and presses yours back together. It’s at that moment that the bells chime at the end of the movie and Jungkook jumps a little in surprise. He knows it’s just the movie, but he can’t help but think maybe this was a sign that you were meant to be it for him. When you both finally pull away he’s smiling at you so widely you think surely his cheeks must be starting to hurt. 

“So how was that for your first kiss?”

“It was more than anything I could have ever hoped for.” You smile back at him and settle into a comfortable silence, your head resting against his shoulder as he snakes his arm around your waist. 

“Um.. y/n?”

“Hmm? Yeah?”

“What um... what does this make us?” 

“What do you want it to make us, Kook? We’ll go at your pace, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“I don’t know this is all new to me. I don’t know the order of things and how this is supposed to work. Like do I take you on dates first?”

“Let me ask you a question then. Would you be upset if I kissed someone else?”

“Yes.”

“If I went on dates with someone else?”

“Yes.”

“Then I think you want us to be exclusive right? Boyfriend and girlfriend? There isn’t an order to these things it’s just how comfortable you feel and how quickly or slowly you want to move with me.”

“Boyfriend sounds nice. I want you to call me that.” 

“Okay then, boyfriend.” You peck his cheek and swear he looks like he’s going to combust. “You wanna watch another movie?”

“Sure. Yes. Another movie sounds fantastic, I’ll go pick one!” He flies off the couch and you can’t help but find him adorable.You weren’t expecting your movie night with him to turn out quite like this, but you can’t say you’re upset about it. When he pops another movie in and turns around and meets your gaze, his eyes are literally shining with how happy he looks. And it’s in that moment you resolve that you will never stop trying to make his eyes light up like that for the rest of your life. If Jungkook wants forever, then you are more than happy to give that to him.

#jungkook reaction #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook drabble #jungkook fanfic #bts #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #reader x jungkook

[asleepycoyote]

My prompts

So I have written some prompts that you can ask to use. I will continue to add more. The ones that have italics or look like 'this' can be anyone's dialogue. I just added it so you know it's not only one person talking. To ask, you can just request the number of the prompt/s you can ask for multiple prompts, but please don't add too many. The ones that have a period at the end of the numbers, don't mind that. That's for me to remember something. Okay, anywho, take your pick :D. Remember you don't have to request one of these, you have your own idea, that's good! I'll be happy to write it! If you have a certain gender you want the reader to be don't forget to ask! You can also request me to add prompts to the list too! Okay so here's the prompts :)

1 "Oh no."

"What is it? What happened? Who died?"

"I think I just felt an emotion."

"You have GOT to be kidding me."

2 "Excuse me. I have to go make a scene."

3 "They're like a hurricane in human form."

4 "Fix it."

"It's a ransom note: I don't care about grammar!"

"There is no excuse for bad grammar."

5 "What does the little blinking light mean?"

"It means... wait blinking light?"

6 "What letter comes after 's' in the alphabet?

"T?"

"Ooh, yes please!"

7 "Why is there a magical portal in the bathtub?!"

8 "I love you from the bottom of my heart, but I don't trust your cooking. Stay out of my kitchen."

9 "We can't have a crisis- my schedule is already full..

10 "How long have you been standing there?

"Longer than you'd like."

11 "Small fire! I said to set a small fire! This is not small!"

12 "I want to go home."

"And I want to go to the moon. It ain't happening, sweetheart. Time to accept that."

13 "It's really not that complicated."

14 "Close the door."

15 "It's three in the morning."

16 "Why are you helping me?"

17 "Just trust me."

18 "What are you thinking about?"

19 "Someday you'll thank me for kidnapping you?"

20 "Who sent you here?"

"I wasn't sent here... if anything, it was an accident."

"Made by whom?"

"Myself, I suppose."

"You sent yourself here on accident?"

"Well, I certainly didn't come here on purpose..."

21 "I just want to be happy."

22 "Can I sleep over? My parents are fighting again."

23 "Why won't you let me help you?!"

24 "You know we make a pretty good team."

25 "You're a horrible liar."

26 "You're freezing. Come here."

27 "I'm saying that because I care about you!

28 "Sing me a song please.

29 "I can explain./!"

30 "Come here."

31 "The real treasure was the memories we made along the way."

"I almost died!"

"Ah yes, that was my fondest memory."

32 "They're crying, what do I do?"

"Go comfort them."

"How do I do that?"

"Start with hugs."

"With what?"

33 "Somehow you don't even have to open your mouth to make my head hurt."

34 "Stop waking me up in the middle of the night."

35 "Any shorter and you'd probably fade out of existence."

36 "I fixed you breakfast. I know it's just a bowl of cereal, but it's the only thing I can't burn."

37 "You just gave off the impression that you want to murder everyone you look at."

38 "It's not my birthday."

"It's definitely your birthday."

"Give me a calendar and I will prove it to—oh. Never mind. Happy birthday to me."

39 "Bold of you to assume I wouldn't just summon a trans-dimensional entity to help me avoid all my problems."

40 "I'm not human. I never was. So, why are you expecting me to act like one?

41 "Everything here can kill you, but I can do it most efficiently."

42 "They took my wallet. Yes, just my wallet. Well.... maybe my passport too."

43 "I don't think of you as a protector. More like a friend."

44 "You deserved that."

45 "Shh, shh. You were dreaming."

46 "I won't leave you behind."

47 "You should be in bed."

48 "What's our exit strategy?"

"Our what?"

"Oh my god, we are all going to die."

49 "Oh my god, you're taking up the whole bed."

50 "I could keep you safe, they're all afraid of me."

51 "I trusted you!"

52 "I know your secret."

"You're gonna have to be more specific there, buddy. Which one? I have a lot of skeletons in my closet."

53 "Who gave you that black eye?!"

54 "Everyone keeps telling me your bad guy."

55 "Why? Because I don't want you to get hurt, that's why!"

56 "You're scared of that, aren't you?"

57 "Come on, when have my calculations ever been wrong?"

"Well-"

"Shut up, that was one time."

58 "Enjoying the view, sunshine?"

59 "While I do enjoy the silent treatment, I wasn't aware I had done anything to you."

60 "I think that's enough."

61 "They deserved it."

62 "What... is this?"

63 "You can't be serious!"

64 "I'm not sorry!"

65 "Who are you?"

"Oh sweetheart, I'm your worst nightmare."

"Wait a minute. Your that guy that tripped over my shoes on the bus this morning and said thank you-"

66 "Just because I'm helping you doesn't mean I care, your death would be a minor inconvenience. That's all."

67 "You owe me."

68 "Don't make me come in there."

69 "Don't touch me."

70 "That wasn't funny."

71 "I am fully convinced you never graduated kindergarten."

72 "Am I doing it right?"

73 "For God's sake! Who have you killed now?"

74 "Do you even know how to fly this thing?"

"Normally, I'd lie and say yes, but considering the fact that I almost flew us into that building, I'm going to assume you know the answer."

75 "What are you doing?! Don't eat it!"

76 "Feel free to admire me."

77 "You're insane!"

"I know! Isn't it great?"

78 "You don't know a thing."

79 "The truth is I never loved you."

80 "Is this a game to you?"

81 "Stop yelling at me."

"I'm not yelling at you! I'm just... being abnormally projective in the vocal region!"

"Otherwise known as yelling..."

82 "Don't ever forget me. Please?"

83 "I screwed up."

84 "You're my regret."

85 "No, sir. I am not underestimating the kidnappers. YOU are understanding my grandmother."

86 "Stay away from the llama."

87 "No one visits my grave anymore... wait. I don't even have a grave!"

88 "Tuna shamed."

89 "Well, I can scratch that off my bucket list."

"Who puts getting arrested on their bucket list?!"

90 "I-I can't stop it. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, it's okay. Just breathe. You don't have to be sorry for anything. I got you."

91 "What am I supposed to tell my parents? 'Hi mom and dad, I ,snuck out past curfew, almost died, discovered I can teleport, and now I'm joining a gang of superheroes.'"

"Maybe don't use the word 'gang'."

"You think that's the part they'll have the most trouble with?!"

92 "Give me the wallet or I shoot."

"No."

"What do you mean no? I'm serious, I will shoot you."

"Let me repeat myself. No."

"Um... okay I guess."

"Aren't you going to shoot me?"

"I don't know. This hasn't happened before."

"Well, until you do, wanna grab a bite to eat? I'm starving."

93 "Watch me."

94 "I thought you were dead."

95 "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

96 "Was that supposed to hurt?"

97 "You have to leave right now."

98

"I love you."

99 "I hate you.

100 "I didn't catch your name."

"I didn't throw it."

101 "How long has it been since you last ate something?"

102. "No, don't look at me!"

103. "How many marshmallows can you eat?"

104 "Why did you kick so much in your sleep? Are you constantly dreaming about soccer?"

105 "Destroying lives, one person at a time."

106 "Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2am.

107 "Just breathe."

108. "STOP EATING MY LASAGNA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

109. "I don't understand why you should feel the urge to do that."

110. "I trust you."

"Wow, that incredibly... stupid of you."

111 "You broke my heart and all you can say is sorry?"

112 "You can't really blame me can you? You can only blame yourself."

113. "You keep painting me as the villain."

"Because you are the villain."

114. "Who could ever love someone like you?"

115 "I never stood a chance, did I?"

"That's the sad part - you did once."

116 "I've missed this."

117. "Who are you to tell me how to live my life?"

118. "Are you going to yell at me too? I guess I do deserve it."

119 "I don't want to have another surgery."

120. "Quit touching the IV."

121 "I was going to say something mean about them, but decided against it."

122 "How do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?"

123. "Are you going to stand there or are you going to kiss me? I'm tired of lying to my diary."

#my writing prompts #dialogue prompt

[saturniandevil]

January 2021 & The Year Ahead

AKA my notes from The Astrology Podcast because I really appreciate these regular forecasts, supplemented with this big ephemeris.

WRAPPING UP

Going into this, Saturn & Jupiter will be conjunct in Aquarius on the solstice, December 21. (I’ve scheduled a reminder post so you can go out and see it--just after sunset!) I’ve also done a quick peek ahead and we’ve got a lot of Aquarian themes for us in January and 2021 in general--change in major cycles. Jupiter-Saturn conjunctions take place every 20 years, and this one in Aquarius shifts us to a ~200-year period where Jupiter-Saturn conjunctions will now take place in air signs, after having had them in earth signs for the past ~150 years. Air can represent information and data, and Kelly and Austin also talk about how air can also represent dispersion; you don’t see a breeze but you see the leaves or sand moving with it. We may move towards digital communication and decentralization/deconstruction of social & political institutions.

(Image of Archetypal Explorer software showing how December is the nexus of some major outer planet interactions)

HIGHLIGHTS

Saturn Square Uranus // ♄ □ ♅

Saturn has been contacting Pluto, who intensifies his structures, but this year Uranus will be challenging him. Worldwide we may see more large-scale pushes for larger change--the struggle for liberation against structures that are no longer working. Exact on: February 17 (♄♒ □ ♅♉ at 7° of each respective sign) June 14  (♄♒ □ ♅♉ at 13°) December 24 (♄♒ □ ♅♉ at 11°)

Jupiter square Uranus // ♃ □ ♅

This aspect has a shorter-term effect, but Jupiter may lend his benefic influence to this struggle and make the change easier or more constructive. Exact on: January 17 (♃♒ □ ♅♉ at 6°)

General shift from Cardinal signs to Fixed & Mutable signs

Jupiter’s and Saturn’s trips into Aquarius this week mean that 2021 will start out with a strong emphasis on early degrees of fixed signs right off the bat, and Mars will be entering Taurus soon as well. Look to the planets and houses where Aquarius and the other fixed signs fall for you to get a glimpse of where this shift may affect you on a personal level. Saturn will slowly trek through Aquarius over the next 2 years, and the nodes/eclipse axis will also shift into fixed signs in 2022.

The eclipse axis (N. and S. node) has already moved from Cancer-Capricorn to Gemini-Sagittarius, moving some personal & emotional focus to the mutable signs. (Eclipses occur when a new or full moon lines up with the nodes.) Dates: May 26 - total lunar eclipse (🌞♊ ☍ 🌙♐ at 5°) June 10 - annular solar eclipse (🌞 ☌ 🌙 at 19°♊) November 19 - partial lunar eclipse (🌞 ♏ ☍ 🌙 ♉ at 27°) December 4 - total solar eclipse (🌞 ☌ 🌙 at 12°♐)

Generally, the problems that cardinal signs have brought to attention or projects they have started will be changing for awhile--fixed signs are slow to get started but long-lasting.

Mercury retrogrades will also be taking place in air signs this year! More in-depth information below the cut (after January).

JANUARY 2021

January 6: Mars enters Taurus // ♂ ➡♉ This means he’ll be squaring Jupiter, Saturn, and conjunct Uranus--possibly igniting some of the issues they have brought forth? Mars and Uranus may prove combustible against critical Saturn, but Jupiter may be more receptive to change.

January 8: Mercury enters Aquarius, Venus enters Capricorn // ♄ ➡♒ ; ♀ ➡♑ This will put Mercury in a square to Mars--watch what you say! Our messenger will also be squaring Uranus in Taurus, which may indicate disruptive difficulties in the communication or distribution of basic material necessities, or changes in currency.

January 13: New Moon at 23° Capricorn // 🌞 ☌ 🌙 23♑

January 14: Uranus goes direct at 6° Taurus // ♅(d) 6♉

January 19: Sun enters Aquarius // 🌞➡♒

January 28: Full Moon at 9° Leo // 🌞9♒ ☍ 🌙9♌ The moon will be opposite a close Sun-Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius, as well as squaring that Mars-Uranus conjunction, forming T-square in Leo, Aquarius, and Taurus. Expect tension and outbursts--perhaps channeled unexpectedly through that empty point in Scorpio.

January 30: Mercury Retrograde at 26° Aquarius  // ☿(rx) 26♒

Rest of 2021 below the cut!

QUARTERLY BREAKDOWN

Similar to January, here are some highlights for the months ahead. (Sorry but I’m ditching the emojis now or I’d go insane trying to cut and paste them.  They’ll be back in other posts announcing sign ingresses, monthly forecasts, etc.)

Aquarius Stellium By the 10th we will have the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn all in Aquarius---that’s every visible planet except Mars! Last time this happened was in 1961-2. Look to your chart to see where this will affect you; Feburary will show you how Aquarius is going to manifest for you.

These planets will be hidden by the sun’s light (cazimi), considered a behind-the-scenes “cycle reset” for each. As the sun moves forward, these planets will become visible again in the sky just before sunrise, literally re-emerging into our view.

Saturn Square Uranus, Jupiter Square Uranus

Mercury Retrograde in Aquarius From January 30 (26 degrees) to February 20 (11 degrees). This means he’ll be slowly moving towards a conjunction with Jupiter (visible in the morning sky).

March

March 3: Mars enters Gemini This will relieve some of the pressure on the fixed squares; things may get a little more flexible. Lots of energy, possible all over the Internet.

March 4: Jupiter conjunct Mercury in Aquarius Some ease of communications here.

March 20-26: Venus conjunct Sun in Pisces & Aries The Sun enters Pisces on the 20th with Venus following on the 21st. She’s exalted in Pisces, but hidden under the Sun’s rays. Mercury has entered Pisces just a few days earlier as well.

Mars conjunct North Node in Gemini Squaring the Sun and Venus throughout the month. Mars may indicate rashness and the North Node confusion (eclipses)--check where Gemini falls in your chart to see where things may fall off a good path.

SECOND QUARTER OF 2021

April

Venus-Sun conjunction continues She’s not to happy being burnt by the Sun or in fiery Aries, though she does enter her domicile in Taurus.

Stellium in Taurus Mercury, Venus, Sun, and Uranus will be hanging out in early-mid Taurus by the 20th, loosely squaring Saturn in Aquarius while they’re close to each other. We may find ourselves “going outside like we never have before.” We’ll be reintegrating into the physical world as an act of rebellion, or rediscovering older knowledge as something new and revolutionary.

April 23: Mars moves into Cancer Slower, more subtle and emotional than Mars in Gemini

April 26: Full Moon at 7° Scorpio Really emphasizing the Taurus Stellium & Saturn-Uranus square. In mutual reception (in each others’ domicile-similar to a conjunction) with Mars in Cancer

April 27: Pluto retrograde at 26° Capricorn Pluto is the last of those big planets to hang around here. May affect the United States’ chart (having a Pluto return.)

May

May 13: Jupiter enters Pisces At last, the major benefic in his domicile! He’s moved away from his fall this year, but was still co-present with negating Saturn up at this point--but now he’s out on his own. Aggressive hugs, chicken soup for the soul, possibly a return of travel in some places (“spring break”). In a mutable sign he can show us the new opportunities in events that have occurred. However he’ll go back to Aquarius this year--rooming with his landlord Saturn. It’s a bit of a sneak peak for 2022.

May 23: Saturn Retrograde at 13° Aquarius

May 26: Total Lunar Eclipse at 5° Sagittarius Picking up some of the themes from the eclipse we just had in December 2020 and turning them in a new direction. This eclipse’s ruler is Jupiter in Pisces, and the Sun’s ruler Mercury is also in domicile in Gemini (the Sun is opposite the Moon at all full moons, this time he’s in Gemini.)

It’s an eclipse, though--what are we not seeing, what are we missing? Our podcast hosts are predicting that perhaps travel agencies will rush forward and miss some things. December 14, the last eclipse, the US had the electoral college officially vote for Biden and the first patient to receive the vaccine--the US chart has Sag rising and Jupiter in Cancer (in the most common chart).

May 29: Mercury Retrograde at 24° Gemini Squaring Neptune in Pisces--perhaps the increased travel will be due to some illusions. He’ll be STRONG during this retrograde, so there may be some disastrous overload in travel or other Mercurian areas, such as communication.

June

June 5: Mars in Cancer opposite Pluto in Capricorn 26° cardinal signs are especially sensitive to this shift in power dynamics. This has been building since the last eclipse and precedes another one.

June 10: Solar eclipse at 19° Gemini Triple conjunction with Sun/Moon/Mercury, squaring Neptune in Pisces. A time for fantasy and illusions, not so great on the logistics.

June 11: Mars enters Leo Once again, fixed sign emphasis--this time Mars is approaching the Saturn♒-Uranus♉ square, which has been building and will go exact on the 14th. We may be headed for more social turmoil and a fire Mars will make this all louder.

June 20: Jupiter Retrograde at 21° Pisces He has unfinished business in Saturn in Aquarius. He’ll go back into Pisces when Mars, Uranus, and Saturn allow us some more optimism.

THIRD QUARTER

July

July 1: Mars opposite Saturn

July 3: Mars square Uranus This further emphasizes the stubborn tension that’s been plaguing us all year--intensifying in midsummer.

July 28: Jupiter re-enters Aquarius He may be playing a bit of peacemaker between Saturn and Uranus in the fixed signs.

July 22: Sun enters Leo The Sun generally has a stabilizing influence, especially in a fixed signs, but he’ll have to contend with Saturn (as will all planets in Leo for the next couple years.) Both planets are in their domicile for this opposition, perhaps bringing a more moderate, measured negotiation to the conflicts of Mars ☍ Saturn at the beginning of the month.

July 29: Mars enters Virgo He’ll be exiting an opposition with Jupiter, meaning he’ll no longer be aggravating the fixed outer planet struggles. Venus precedes him a week earlier; at a personal level we may be a little more calculating and flexible.

August

First week: Sun square Uranus Is over within the first seven days. A little more positive for us.

August 16: Venus enters Libra Finally, she can enjoy her domicile without Saturn squaring her in Capricorn! The benefics are more free to help us in 2021 than they were in 2020. We start reaching fair agreements, whether personally, politically or financially.

August 18: Mercury conjunct Mars at 12° Virgo Fast & Furious! An earth Mercury may push is towards a tangible solution. Mars is in fall, but is being received by Mercury (Mars is in Mercury’s domicile), and may really listen to the messenger. This also trines Uranus in Taurus, adding a distinct flavor of technological innovation here.

August 22: Venus (♎) trine Saturn (♒) Venus is in Saturn’s sign of exaltation as well--she’s got the power to make some deals with structured Saturn. Coincides with a Full Moon in Aquarius and the Sun entering Virgo.

August 30: Mercury enters Libra He’s joining Venus, and Mars is coming soon

September

September 10: Venus enters Scorpio

September 14: Mars enters Libra The accords reached during Venus in Libra may come crashing down as Mercury and Mars join her--some may stay, but some deals are OFF!

September 27: Mercury Retrograde at 25° Libra We’ll really be rethinking some of the agreements that were just made. He’ll trine Jupiter before and during this retrograde--things will feel good. But with Mars there we’ll have to face the issues.

FOURTH QUARTER

Things will really get spicy towards the end of the year.

October

October 6: Pluto goes Direct at 24° Capricorn fjdhada

October 6: New Moon in Libra Conjunct Mercury and Mars, with the planets making trines to Jupiter and Saturn as they approach and leave this lunation. May see a challenge to agreement and accord in the realms under the outer planets’ rule.

October 10: Saturn stations direct at 6°♒

October 18: Mercury stations Direct at 10 Libra, Jupiter stations Direct at 22 Aquarius

October 19: Full Moon at 27 Aries Opposite Sun-Mars conjunction in Libra. This highlights a growing square between Mars (23°♎) and Pluto (24°♑). Jupiter (22°♒) is trine the Sun & Mars, though, so he may relieve some of the pressure.

October 30: Mars enters Scorpio Once again he’ll activate that Saturn-Uranus square and add pressure to the fixed signs.

November

Mars, Sun, Mercury enter Scorpio They will each activate that outer planet square. The accords that weren’t working in October will be really apparent now.

November 19: Lunar eclipse in Taurus This is the first eclipse on the axis we’ll be seeing in 2022--a foreshadowing for the following year. And this will further aggravate some of the fixed sign tension we’ve been experiencing. It’s also squaring Jupiter at 24 Aquarius, who may ease the aspects a liiittle bit.

December

December 1: Neptune stations direct at 20° Pisces

December 4: Total solar eclipse at 12° Sagittarius The completion of the eclipse series on the Gemini-Sag axis. The nodes will change early 2022, and the themes of the eclipse cycle that started a year previous (last week at time of writing) will wrap up. Mars is still in Scorpio, and the “martial” fixed star Antares is close by to this eclipse--strong chance some of the previous contention will ignite or stay aflame.

December 19: Venus Retrograde at 26° Capricorn She’ll be leading us into 2022 with this motion. She’s conjunct Pluto during this station, slowing down almost to his pace as she prepares to change directions. Venus & Pluto may represent more obsessive love, and in Capricorn things may be melancholic and bound/restrained.

December 24: Uranus♉-Saturn♒ square exact to the minute (5°11″) This is the final, most intense culmination of the aspect that has overshadowed the year (although it will come back in ‘22 as well.)

December 28: Jupiter re-enters Pisces He’ll travel all the way through it this time! ;) From this watery domicile he may put out some of the fires that Mars started. We welcome an empowered benefic as we move on to the new year--good news for the mutable signs!

#astrology #forecast #transits #2021 #january 2021