#I WROTE YOU ALL THESE FUCKING SONGS AND YOU BROKE UP WITH ME can’t tell me that’s not just the letters

[vogelmeister]

can i just say for a city that has the most known blank space loop, and for an album rebranded as beach, sydney australia did not turn on the beach like weather on this holy 1989 tv release day

#sad #i woke up and it was raining #i’ve already listened to good witch deluxe and i like the song but i cannot decide if holy revival is good or messy #i think its just the start tbh the start is v weird #the song is kinddaaa merel coded in a way its merel coded enough for the playlist #as in the song called the song #I WROTE YOU ALL THESE FUCKING SONGS AND YOU BROKE UP WITH ME can’t tell me that’s not just the letters #anyways enough about my ocs #now i wait for 2pm #this one’s gonna hit bc i was 13 in 2014 and that tends to hit in weird ways #the 2pm release was ok when i was in school but now it’s agonyyyyyy #didn’t have to wait for midnights tho live laugh love amsterdam #we ignore that i had like… no voice lmao #i was actually miserable that day tbh but live laugh love #taylor swift #1989 (tv)

[55szn]

so american - ln4

lando norris x fem!sargeant!singer!reader smau

summary; yn sargeant releases her new song which has everyone (and her brother) wondering who is it about warnings; light cursing fc; olivia rodrigo notes; i just had to…

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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and 2.891.283 others ynsargeant surprise, “so american” is yours now! hope u like it ;)

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user EXCUSE ME?????

user damn what happened to hello?? how are you?? my name is???

logansargeant what

ynsargeant surprise ?

lilyzneimer sooo good yn! been on repeat all day🫶🏻🫶🏻

ynsargeant lilyyyyyy💘💘 user since when is she friends with lily what user well she’s good friends with oscar but they never interacted with each other before, maybe they’ve hanging out more lately??

user “he’s like a poem i wish i wrote” STFUUUU MY GIRL’S IN LOVE LOVE

user god bless america fr

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MESSAGES

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ynsargeant just uploaded to their story!

[quick ootd check🤫] [always a pleasure to be here, see u tomorrow ny🍎🫶🏻]

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ynsargeant just uploaded to their story!

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ynsargeant

liked by landonorris, conangray and 3.568.126 others

ynsargeant life lately🧡🫂

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user there’s no way that isn’t lando

landonorris cute rings who got you those

ynsargeant some rando idk his name landonorris wow.

user that’s a hard launch if i’ve ever fucking seen one

user there she goes again with the orange hearts girl just post him you’re not mysterious 😭

user obsessed with lando flying to ny from monaco for one night just to see her in msg🥹

user ikr my girl’s finally getting the love she deserves

ynsargeant

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 3.643.675 others

ynsargeant papayaaaaa

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user i can’t even pretend to be shocked😭

logansargeant wrong garage but ok😞

ynsargeant they don’t give me free coffee over there alex_albon yn we are broke user no way 😭

oscarpiastri wow we’ve been friends for years and i never got you to wear any of my team’s merch

logansargeant tell me abt it landonorris i have that effect🤷‍♀️ user damn lando norrizz has rizz

landonorris 🧡🧡🧡🧡

user this comment section isn’t real😭

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, ynsargeant and 2.679.128 others

landonorris don’t tell her but i might just be in love as well

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user THE CAPTION

user he does not let go of that camera huh

logansargeant what’s with the hat ynsargeant that’s not very🦅💥💥🇺🇸 of you

ynsargeant i was promised that pic would not leave the camera roll. landonorris sorry baby u just looked so cute oscarpiastri get a room logansargeant don’t?

ynsargeant hahaha you in love🫵🤣

user girl you literally wrote a song about how down bad you are stfu

user mom wake up new parasocial relationship just dropped

user this post being y/n taken by lando and her post being lando taken by y/n🥹🥹🥹

user tooooootally normal abt this

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#f1 fanfic #formula 1 #f1 #f1 x reader #fanfiction #smau #f1 smau #lando norris #mclaren #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris social media au #lando norris smau #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #ln4 #ln4 smau #lando norris 4 #f1 fic #motorsports #formula 1 smau #lando norris fanfiction

[marvelouslizzie]

Why Are You Doing This To Me?

summary: Your ex-boyfriend Bucky Barnes wrote two songs about (for) you and you don’t know what to do.

pairing: Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

warnings: Angst, a past failed relationship, pettiness, jealousy, anger, a lot of emotions, no mention of y/n.

word count: 2.3K

A/N: I have been away for a while because I was busy learning another language aka Dutch. I still am but at least I am done with my big exam. As soon as I was done with it, I found myself writing again.

This is a random idea that just popped into my head while listening to music and taking a walk. Pure angst for some reason. Usually, I go for smutty ideas but bear with me.

>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.

Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing this so fast ❤️

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Keep reading tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.

>> Hey! I know you don’t want to hear anything about Bucky, but I think you should check these out. I think he wrote these songs for you.

Two links from Spotify follow the text you received from one of your best friends, and you stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. You really don’t want to hear his voice. Not because you don’t like his singing or his songs, but you wanted to get back on your feet. It would be impossible if you kept listening to his songs. Besides, hearing his voice has always softened you. And your best friend knows this. She knows a lot about your relationship, how everything went down, and how you two eventually broke up. If she didn't think you should listen to these songs, she wouldn't be sending you these links, right?

You take a deep breath and click on the first link. The song starts to play, and you notice the soft vibe right away. It’s not particularly Bucky’s style. He sounds like he’s in pain but he's singing with such clarity that surprises you.

He talks about how much he regrets the things he didn’t do when he was with you. How he misses you so much every day. How much he wants to call you, but he’s afraid that you won’t pick up the phone or worse, you will talk to him like a stranger. He says he always knew how precious you were, yet he took you for granted.

The lyrics flow flawlessly. It sounds like poetry to your ears. The way he expressed himself so beautifully… You can’t believe he wrote such a heartfelt song about you, and it’s not even his style. He’s a freaking rockstar. He usually writes about sex, rock and roll, and drugs. Not feelings. Then the song finally reaches the chorus and his words make you freeze. 

“You are the love of my love.”

Did he really just say that? Did he just call you the love of his life? You feel this rush of emotions, and it’s hard to distinguish what you are actually feeling. It makes it harder to think, harder to focus on anything else other than the fact that this song is for you. That’s when you notice the name of the song. It’s the Love of My Life.

Suddenly, you start to feel angry. Every other emotion just takes a backseat. You hate him. So fucking much! Why is he always like this? Saying everything a little too late. Was it so hard for him to tell you this when you wanted to find just one reason to stay with him? You begged him to communicate with you maybe a million times. He always said it was not easy for him to put his feelings into words. Good or bad. It didn’t matter. He always struggled with his emotions. You tried your best. You tried to show him that he could trust you, that you would always be there for him, but it didn’t matter in the end. You felt like you were the only one trying to make this relationship work.

That’s when you decided to give up. It felt like he just didn’t care enough. He didn’t put any effort into changing things or making you feel like you weren’t just beating a dead horse.

You hoisted the white flag and moved on with your life. That’s when he decides to put whatever he feels into words. Instead of talking to you, he makes a song about it. Then he puts it out into the world. 

What a fucking asshole!

It takes you a while to realize the song is over as the silence fills the room. As much as you hate how he chose to do this, the silence disturbs you. It might be a little too late, but you still want to hear what he has to say. Your own rules about not listening to any of his songs instantly go out the window.

You open the messaging app and click on the second link. This one sounds a little bit more like his usual style. The name of the song though, instantly catches your attention this time. It’s one of the nicknames he used often for you. 

He starts the song by saying that he knows how selfish he is. That he has no right to feel this way, but he just saw you with someone else and he hated how it made him feel. He talks about how jealous he is. How he can’t help but imagine you in that guy’s arms. Then he realized you might call him baby, just like you used to call him. Then he continues by begging you not to call him baby, how he wants you to save that pet name for him even though he’s not in your life anymore.

There are so many details throughout the song that indicate he’s talking about you, there is no mistaking. He calls you by your nickname, saying how he loves the way you talk passionately about your interests, how compassionate you are, and how much effort you put into maintaining your relationship but he was too stupid and pathetic to appreciate them.

Every word that comes out of his mouth makes you even angrier. How dare he? How dare he write a song like this for you? After everything you have been through, after all the effort you put into your relationship, after every heartbreak… He realizes how much he values you just because he saw you with someone else.

Selfish bastard!

He has no right to put these words out there. He has no right to feel jealous. You are not his anymore. You can call someone else baby if that’s what you want. How dare he try to dictate to you like this? It makes you wanna call someone up and go out on another date and call him baby, just in spite.

The problem is, it’s just your stubborn nature talking. Before this song, you didn’t even think about calling someone else baby. You didn’t feel like it. Subconsciously, you were reserving that pet name for him. And that fucker knew it. He just knew it!

You exhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. The song is over, but you can still hear him singing in your head. The song is so beautiful. Petty but so fucking beautiful. He sounds like he poured his heart out without caring how vulnerable it makes him look. 

Another deep breath, you try to understand which date he is talking about. You have been on a couple of dates since you two broke up. You were so dedicated to moving on. You didn’t care if it would hurt him. Because he didn’t care about how much he hurt you all those times you tried your hardest to make things work. So you went out with a couple of gentlemen. Some of them were decent, and some of them were downright horrible. Dating is just as tedious as you remembered. A lot of assholes out there who don’t care who they are hurting. You didn’t get hurt, though. You didn't care enough about any of them to give them the power to hurt you.

Then it finally hits you. He’s talking about your date with that motherfucking movie star! That one was big news for a while. You got photographed two, maybe three times together.

You really looked like you were having fun in those photos. Truthfully, you were, he was such a funny guy. He knew how to make fun of himself. You were just so tired of pretentious asses. It was refreshing. That’s why you said yes to a second and a third date. Then he was off to a European country to shoot his next movie. You had a fun and it was more than enough for you. 

You precisely remember that tabloids started to talk about how perfect you two were for each other. God, that must have gotten under his skin. You can’t help but laugh. He’s so predictable. He just couldn’t bear to see you with someone else, but can you blame him?

You remember seeing something similar about him, but in that case, he wasn’t on a date with the girl. They were just working together for some lame-ass project he would normally despise. Maybe he was trying to keep himself busy, who knows? You remember so vividly how she was looking at him like she wanted to eat him up. As if that wasn’t enough, she kept praising him, calling him the best rockstar of the century just to get in his pants. You have no idea if it worked or not, but it was enough to make you feel jealous. So can you blame him for feeling the same?

It just makes you realize you want to listen to those songs again. It’s maybe too little too late but you still want to hear him. You wanted him to talk about his feelings for such a long time and he’s finally doing it. Through a song but still, he’s doing it. It isn’t exactly communicating because communication must be two-sided, right? That’s what was missing in your relationship. You were talking, pleading, trying while he was keeping everything in. You feel like the roles are reversed. Now he’s the one talking, pleading, and trying, and you just don’t know what to do. How the tables have turned.

The second time around, you notice other details you missed the first time. Like peaceful walks you took together whenever you had the time or how you always used fake names when you two traveled together. You can’t help but miss those days. Even though you had problems, being with him always felt so safe and peaceful. You have no idea how he managed to make you feel that way. Maybe that’s why it took you so long to end the relationship. You still miss the way you felt back then. As if you two could overcome anything together, yet you couldn’t. Because you didn’t work together. You were alone, struggling to make him talk.

Then he talks about how he still speaks to your friends, and that makes him miss you even more. That part surprises you because none of your friends mentioned that they were still seeing Bucky. Is that because you didn’t let them ever talk about him? You feared if you let yourself talk or think about him, you would go back to the point zero.

He ends the song saying he doesn't want you to be a distant memory, and this sticks with you. Do you want him to be a distant memory?

The second time you listen, you notice how desperate he sounds. The way he pleads doesn’t anger you anymore. You find something you feel in his words. Your own fears, your own selfishness and oh, how much you miss him. You didn’t let yourself admit that you miss him. You thought acting like he never existed, he was never a part of your life would make everything easier and it did. Just for a while. Lately, it was just a burden. You tried so hard to keep everything inside. Just like he did. You are still trying to do it… to act logically, not emotionally. Does it mean you are making the same mistake he did? Shutting yourself down, not talking about your feelings. Is it the solution or is it a part of the mistake? You can’t tell anymore. You just know that your heart is aching. The sound of his voice makes you want to cry.

God, you hate him so much!

How could he do this to you after all this time?

Is it that easy to get under your skin or was he always there?

You feel like you are about to explode because of all the emotions you are going through. On one hand, Bucky communicating with you is everything you wanted. On the other hand, isn’t it too late? And why did he write not one but two songs about you? Declaring his love to the world…

You repeat that last bit in your head. He’s declaring his love to the world.

He’s no longer afraid to talk about his emotions. He wants you to hear them, millions of other people are just the bonus. He’s not afraid to show how fucking miserable he feels. He just wants you back.

He’s doing his bit in communicating, but unless you don’t do something about it, it won’t matter. It will be another attempt in vain. You aren’t sure if you want to repeat the same pattern. You notice the song is over when your phone chimes. It’s your best friend again.

>> Did you listen?

<< Yeah.

>> How are you feeling?

<< Confused.

<< Are you still talking to him?

>> Yeah we all are.

<< Why didn’t you tell me that?

>> You said you didn’t wanna hear anything about him and we just respected your decision.

Just like you thought. You can’t blame them. Anytime someone mentioned anything remotely related to Bucky, you either changed the subject or found a reason to leave. So you can’t help but wonder…

<< How is he doing?

>> Not great. He misses you.

<< I miss him too.

>> Are you gonna call him?

You look at the message for a long minute. Are you gonna call him? That’s the question. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t. Both of the options sound equally wrong. You have no idea what to do.

<< I don’t know what to do.

>> Just give him a call. He’s the love of your life.

You have no idea how long you have looked at that text. Maybe for a couple of minutes, maybe for an hour. 

He’s the love of your life.

He’s a bastard, but he really is the love of your life.

And you are the love of his life.

Where do you go from here? You look at your phone once again. You finally know what to do.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #sebastian stan #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes angst #james bucky barnes #ex!bucky barnes #rockstar!bucky barnes #singer!bucky barnes #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x f!reader #my stories

[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER FIVE: STRUCK A MATCH AND BLEW YOUR MIND

← prev chapter // next chapter →

✦ summary: in which you decide to reveal everything at brunch and chaos ensues. (wc: 8.3k+)

✦ warnings — ANGST!!, like this one is really angsty buckle up! argument </33, yelling, crying, mentions of an ab*sive relationship, it is not detailed by they talk A LOT about it, mentions of bruises, some trauma/making fun of trauma, chrissy being super mean and omfg reader is PETTY, jealousy, pining and slowburn, strong language!, mentions of alc*hol and drg use and a toxic/ab*sive relationship, food!!, steve is silly luv him

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader, eddie munson x chrissy cunningham, nancy wheeler x jonathan byers

✦ authors note — ngl this was fun to write LMAO but so hellish to edit JFC IM FINALLY DONE!! a few songs i listened to while i wrote this chapter are; liar by paramore, rwylm by taylors swift, and lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. need to add all those to the playlist asap !! also feel free to chat with me in the asks abt this series (and anything tbh) pls!! and not proof-read pls ignore mistakes!!

series masterlist | series playlist

Counting cobblestones was your best distraction from Robin’s loud groans and the noises her dress made as she stretched it further and further. The sun streamed through the both of you, causing you to squeeze your eyes lightly. 

“Would you let my poor dress go?” You warned without turning to her, hand having a harsh grip on the gin bottle you were afraid of dropping. 

“I can’t, it’s itching!” She groaned, harshly scratching her chest. 

“Why’d you even ask to borrow a dress if you hated wearing them so much?” You threw her a look.

"I wanted to look presentable! But now, I think I’d rather wear a trash bag than ever be this uncomfortable again,” she said through gritted teeth, following you to the doorstep. 

You giggled, “But you know what?” you turned to her with a smile, “You look super pretty in that dress, Robs,” you winked teasingly, earning a groan from her as your hand shakily pressed onto the red doorbell, careful not to drop the bottle that was in your grip. 

A few rumbles were overheard before Steve swiftly opened the door, leaning against the doorframe as he gave the two of you a look, both of you in your sundress, while you held the bottle in your hand like a prized possession and Robin was still scratching her neck. “About damn time, I was starting to think you guys forgot where I lived!” He said teasingly, causing you to narrow your gaze. 

“Whatever happened to hello? Hi? I missed you, my bestest friend, Pinky!” You exaggerated dramatically, “Oh and you totally look so much better than that traitor sitting in my living room,” you spat snarkily, perfectly imitating a bitchy Steve. 

“You know about that?” Steve asked, and you were quick to nod. “Oh, thank fucking god! I did not want to be the one to tell you,” he sighed a breath of relief, a gesture you met with a roll of your eyes.

Steve quickly changed his tone to flattery. “Have I told you how much I missed you, sweetheart?” he said with exaggerated sweetness, “Oh, and you look so pretty!” He continued with an amplified smile, “so much better than that traitor sitting in my living room.” He hummed, covering his mouth sideways, so childlike that it had you giggling. 

Amid the banter, Robin, still visibly uncomfortable, impatiently broke in. “Okay, doofus, are you gonna let us in?” She groaned and brushed past the two of you, making her way to the familiar kitchen.

“Hello to you too, Rob!” Steve responded with a chuckle, before closing the door and guiding you both to the cozy kitchen.

Once inside, Steve couldn't help but ask, “So, what have you got there, P?” His eyes locked on the gin bottle in your hand.

With an excited gleam in your eye, you presented it proudly. “A party gift,” you said with a grin, shaking it gently in front of Steve's face before he took it from you.

"For breakfast?" Steve asked with a huff and a raised eyebrow. 

“We’re going to make breakfast martinis!” Robin chimed in excitedly, her eyes lighting up as she grabbed two elegant cocktail glasses she'd found in Steve's well-stocked kitchen. The crystal-clear glasses made a chiming sound when she set them down harshly.

“You guys have a problem,” he joked, leaning against the kitchen counter while he eyed the way you hurriedly searched for something in his fridge.

“Says the guy who used to shotgun five beers like it was nothing,” you scoffed behind the fridge door. A shushed ‘Yes!’ escaped from your lips when you acquired lemons and a bottle of orange juice from the fridge's depths. 

“And that is not how you make a breakfast martini,” he playfully groaned, stealing your ingredients away from you. Your pout was met with a playful eye roll.

“Oh-kay, fancy pants,” Robin mocked, making you snort with her easy banter.

Steve couldn't help but ask, genuine concern etching his brow, “You sure you’re okay?”

You shrugged nonchalantly, but they both eyed your expressions curiously, almost as if you were a ticking time bomb.

“Oh, c'mon, you two!” You brushed it off, trying to shift the focus.

“We’re just worried about you is all,” Robin added, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. Her fingertips were warm against your skin, concern washed over her face.

“It’s perfectly normal to not be okay, you know,” Steve reassured you, his voice gentle. “I mean, it must be hard coming back here after everything-”

“Well, I’m fine, Steve,” you replied a bit more sharply than you intended, guilt settling in your stomach quickly. Steve's comforting stance somehow allowed your emotions to spill out more freely.

“It’s-it’s just such a fucking gut punch that he brought her here, you know?” The frustration in your voice was palpable, tone heavy with pain.

“I know, I know,” Steve empathized, both of them stood by your side, hands resting on both of your shoulders, comedically protective. 

“Want me to beat him up?” Steve said with a serious gaze, hands forming into fists as he playfully punched the air. You and Robin erupted in giggles, as Robin elbowed him playfully, “I think she needs someone better at fights to protect her, you know?” She narrowed her gaze.

“Ow!” Steve dramatically gasped, “Rude!” He pouted. “Thank you, my knight in shining armor, but I’ll be fine." You snatched the gin bottle, moving on to the task at hand – preparing the breakfast martinis as you poured the clear liquid into the glass.

“I’m more worried about your health there,” he hummed, pointing toward the generous amount of gin you poured into your glass. 

“Jesus, when did you become such a priss, King Steve?” Robin mocked further before he gave the two of you a look. 

“I don’t like you two together,” he huffed, hand gesturing between the two of you dramatically, “so mean,” he said, tone exaggerated, and slumped playfully, pretending to be defeated.

“Aww, come on, Stevie,” you pouted, “I missed ya,” with a hum, you gave him a quick, affectionate squeeze in a tight hug. Steve responded with a theatrical cough causing you to roll your eyes.

“What have you been up to? I listened to Robin’s work crush, the whole fucking way…” You enunciated dramatically, drawing a teasing reaction from Robin, who exclaimed, “Hey!” in response.

“Can you believe her name is Lily? Lily… that’s so pretty, she’s so pretty… Like a flower. I mean her hair is so soft, I-I mean it seems soft I never like touched it or anything, that would be creepy-” You mimicked Robin and her fast-talking, and she stuck her tongue at you childishly. 

“Is doofusness contagious? I feel like you’ve been standing too close to Steve.” She mocked with a smirk, taking a jab at both of you, but more so Steve as she leaned against the counter cooly. 

“You’re quick with the comebacks today, Rob, jeez!” You praised, turning back to Steve who was disregarding the two of you with a shake of his head.  

Robin winked at you, before snatching the bottle from Steve’s hand to make herself a drink. “So… Stevie, what about you?” You hummed, leaning in with a curious expression.

“How’s work?”

A proud smile spread across Steve's face as he said, “I got a promotion.”

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, genuine excitement dancing in your eyes. “Steve, that’s amazing!” His frown had your brows furrowed, “why are you not excited?” You pouted.

“You remember Adam?” He huffed, “the guy from accounting?” Your brows quirked up in intrigue, Steve was quick to nod. 

“He turned out to be a douche,” with a scoff, he leaned further on the courter, his muscles flexing with irritation. “What?” You asked with a frown, “but you said it was getting serious?” 

“Yeah, I guess I was wrong, I dunno,” He shrugged, wanting to seem nonchalant but it was obvious he was hurt. 

Your face fell quickly, “well, what about that other girl you met in the grocery store?” You asked hopefully, nudging him slightly. 

“Didn’t even call me back,” Steve huffed, and you couldn't help but pout at his apparent string of bad luck.

“Stevie…”

“I dunno what’s wrong with me,” Steve admitted, his voice laced with self-doubt.

Your heart ached at his insecurity, and you couldn't help but reassure him. “What? Nothing is wrong with you! Are you kidding?”

“These people sound like the problem to me!” You exclaimed, “I mean look at you! A nice boy with a good job, and that hair? So soft!” you giggled, hand ruffling with his perfectly made hair, which he would usually yell at you for, but now he just looked at you with the most puppy dog eyes. “Harrington, you’re the whole goddamn package.” 

“You mean that?” He sounded so insecure, and innocent, that your stomach was quick to drop, knowing that Steve doubted himself like this. 

“Of course!” you reassured with a pat on his back, “fuck both of them! I’ll get you something to drink.” You winked.

“Please let me make it,” Steve replied with a hint of mischief, narrowing his gaze playfully. “In fact, I’ll make both of you a proper drink,” he emphasized.

“Fine, pretty boy.”

“Rob,” he called out to her with a tilt of his head  “Orange liquor, please?”

Robin looked at him with a puzzled look, “am I supposed to know where that is?” 

A tad exasperated, Steve pointed to a spot on the counter. “Right there on the counter, Rob. Jesus, you never let me look cool.”

“Don’t worry pretty boy, you don’t need her to make you look cool.” You winked teasingly, hand gently placed on Steve’s shoulder to give him a reassuring squeeze, causing Robin to snort behind you as you elbowed harshly to shush her. 

Of fucking course, that’s when they decided to come into the kitchen, you could hear Chrissy’s annoying giggles before you saw her, and Eddie’s face dropped the second he saw the two of you. And all you could focus on was how close they were standing next to each other, Chrissy’s shoulder brushing against his.

You felt sick again. 

Eddie cleared his throat, the laughter in the room dying with it. His sour face grew hot because he heard your compliments to Steve, saw the smiles you gave him, and your hand on his arm. 

Insecure thoughts were quick to race through his mind, why was your hand on his arm? And pretty boy? You used to call him that. And him only.

His thoughts should have driven him closer to Chrissy, to make you more jealous, to have that satisfaction, but all it did was leave a bitter taste in his mouth, another lump he couldn’t swallow, and he stepped a bit back away from her unintentionally. 

“Hi!” Chrissy beamed, and your eyes squinted with her voice, the urge to roll your eyes, and confront her right now was strong. 

None of you answered her, it was awkward, pretty fucking awkward that even Robin’s cheshire cat smile didn’t save the room, Eddie speaking up did. 

“You- uh got any water, Harrington?” It was supposed to be a joke, but the way it rolled out of his jealous lips made him sound bitter as if he was pissed at him. 

Steve, taken aback by Eddie's sudden change in attitude, raised an eyebrow and responded, “Yeah?” He pointed toward the refrigerator, offering some bottled water.

Annoyance seeped through you as they stood there, prickling like a knife through your skin, your gaze narrowed as you tried to avoid looking at them, but it was awkward, so fucking awkward. 

Eddie was quick to take a sip from the bottle, the entire room filled with silence as his gaze never faltered on you, “you got any notes for me?” Eddie said cooly, leaning onto the fridge, Chrissy by his side. 

It was aimed at you, and you totally would’ve missed it if every eye in the room didn’t turn to you. You furrowed your brows in confusion, trying to deflect the attention. "Huh?"

Eddie’s demeanor changed at your confusion, almost like his confidence wore off the second he realized you might not have read it. “The note, you said you’d review it?” His voice held emotion, you could hear it, a pang of insecurity along with betrayal, but you didn’t want to talk about this, and you didn’t want to talk about it in front of her.

“No.” You lied through your teeth, swallowing the lump in your throat when you finally looked at him, like really, really looked at him. 

He looked tired, with dark circles surrounding his eyes, hair even messier than usual, his lips cracked, and you could smell the nicotine off of him, even though he was halfway across the room. 

And there was a slight shift in the way he held himself when you told him you didn’t read it, his tongue rolling inside of his cheek in a sour manner before he straightened up. “Typical,” he spat, he didn’t mean to, it was more supposed to be his inner voice, but he couldn’t help himself.  He couldn’t help the way he felt insecure when he saw you standing next to Steve, and he couldn’t help but show how much you not reading the note shattered him.

“Excuse me?” You scoffed, the air in the room getting tense, Steve and Robin pretending to be distracted while continuing to make a drink, Robin’s clumsy clatters serving as a noisy backdrop. 

“What does that mean?” You asked calmly, maybe it wasn’t as calm as you intended it to be, but he really had the nerve to come for you when he didn’t even realize he was the one who was in the wrong. 

“It means that I wouldn’t have expected anything more from you,” he spat out like he was your enemy, and it hurt, it fucking hurt that he saw you as someone that careless as if you didn’t read the entire note the whole night, as if you didn’t fall asleep to Aurora playing in the background. As if he knew anything. 

Your anger flared, and you couldn’t help yourself, “What the actual fuck is your problem?” Your voice raised, and you straightened yourself, taking a step closer to them as both Robin and Steve’s heads snapped toward your direction, wanting to interrupt, but Chrissy got to it first. 

“Okay, I don’t think we should-” Her screeching voice grated your ears.

With that, your attention turned to her, head cocking in a sharp gesture of anger, “stay out of it,” you warned, both Steve and Robin watched you in full force, almost looking like they wanted to cheer you on. 

Chrissy turned to Eddie as if she was asking for him to say something back to you, but Eddie’s gaze remained on you, unable to process anything else. 

She took a step closer, her head slightly tilted to the side, “Oh, come on, take a chill pill, Pinky,” she gave you a smile, it wasn’t warming, it wasn’t genuine, you could see right through her. This was her catty smile. 

And it almost triggered something in you—the way her head tilted, her hand on her hips, the ‘take a chill pill’ line, it was something you recognized all too well. 

The same phrase, that same annoying octave, and the same hand on her hips when she first “accidentally” started the rumor that you had kissed Eddie—granted, it wasn’t a rumor. It was true, you had kissed Eddie while you and Billy were on a break, but you told her that in confidence, and she broke your trust. Yet, like an idiot, you believed her when she said it was an accident, and that someone must have overheard the two of you talking.

Once Billy found out about the rumors, he barely let you breathe, not only did the fights get more amped up and violent, but he also isolated you from your friends, and mostly Eddie. You didn’t put the pieces together that Chrissy caused the rumor until much later.

Then, at Steve’s party, the same smile, and that same phrase, like you hadn’t caught her with Billy in the bathroom minutes ago. 

And now, she was doing it again, you assumed it was on purpose, or at least it all felt like it was on purpose. And it boggled your mind how quickly she made Eddie believe she was a nice person. Because she wasn’t, and even if she was, your friendship was beyond salvageable now. 

You decided to take a step closer to her, Steve and Robin both jumping on their feet, afraid of what might happen. But you had no intention of doing anything, or even saying anything to her. 

Because you had decided your mind. 

If Chrissy wanted to play that game, then so fucking be it. 

When the bell rang once again, Steve was quick to rise, “Must be Nancy and Jonathan!” he announced, voice almost cracking from the tension in the room. He was quick to scurry off, inviting the main couple inside. You turned to Robin swiftly, almost ruining her balance with the way you snatched the drink from her hand, you took a big sip, downing the contents in one go. Then, without acknowledging either of them, you headed inside, leaving behind the simmering tension in the kitchen. 

-

You were all seated, Nancy and Jonathan side by side, next to them Steve and Robin, and on their right, were the rest of the band, followed by Chrissy, Eddie, and you. 

The table itself looked perfect, you could see that Steve went all out for it, adorning the table with an array of breakfast foods. Plates piled high with pastries, fruit, muffins, and of course, Steve’s special pancakes. He never stopped raving about them, and the second he sat down, he grabbed a generous amount of it to his plate. A pot of steaming coffee sat right by the end of the table, along with your gin bottle sitting right next to it, which was what you had been preferring, because everything was fucking awkward.

You were sipping on your drink like it was your lifeline, Steve and Robin watched you with a concerned gaze, whispering back and forth. 

Jeff, Gareth, and the new drummer you hadn’t met before, Nathan were laughing obnoxiously, and you almost felt like it was all aimed at you.

Maybe you were paranoid, but you assumed they wouldn’t be keen on you, knowing that after L.A. all they saw was a mess of Eddie who wrote nothing but sad songs, which all the lyrics seemed to point in your direction.

“How is pre-wedding life going for the love birds?” Eddie hummed seemingly more content than before.

Jonathan and Nancy both let out an exasperated sigh, giggling like kids after they realized how in sync they were, “pretty fuckin’ tiring,” Jonathan replied, taking a mouthful bite from the pastry he had on his plate.

“You guys are still on for tonight, right? I promised the guy at Hideout at least two songs from Corroded Coffin,” he emphasized the band's name mockingly. 

“‘Course, dude, whatever you need,” Eddie gave him a small smile, a wink thrown in for good measure.

Unintentionally, Eddie shifted his gaze towards you, observing the way you seemed to shrink into your seat, fingers nervously tracing the rim of your drink. Chrissy's eyes followed him, her gaze narrowing as she caught onto the subtle shift in his attention. He leaned closer to you, so close that his hand almost brushed against yours that sat on the table.

Eddie opened his pursed lips, about to utter something, but Chrissy couldn’t let that happen.

“This feels weird,” She hummed, “the last time we were all here, this table was for beer pong.” She giggled, and slightly nudged Eddie.

Eddie gave her a tight-lipped smile before his attention was quick to turn back to you, but you ignored his burning gaze.

“Steve that was a sick party,” She exclaimed excitedly, trying to gather Steve’s attention who was busy trying to locate the syrup for his awaiting pancakes. 

Your head almost popped up simultaneously at the mention… the same party. The same fucking party she tried to kiss Billy. The same fucking party she humiliated you with her words. The same party she made fun of…

“Huh?” He asked mindlessly, almost knocking over Robin’s drink with how fast he was looking for the syrup, completely ignoring Chrissy. “Jesus Christ!” He exclaimed, earning furrowed brows from Robin, who just shook her head at him. 

“I forgot the syrup!” He groaned, getting up from his seat. “I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Robin mocked, as Steve threw her a glare before making a hasty retreat to the kitchen with a string of curses leaving his lips, while the rest of the table tried to soak in the awkwardness.

Gareth was quick to chime in though, “oh, yeah!” he quipped, remembering the party. “You went to that party?” Jeff asked with his brows pinched together in confusion. 

“Yeah, Eddie was selling so he brought me along,” he explained, grabbing Eddie by the shoulder with a chuckle. 

“Oh god, that was the same party you beat Billy to a fuckin’ pulp, dude!” His chuckle grew louder, hand on his stomach.

You and Eddie tensed at the mention of it, while you enjoyed Billy finally not being able to get away with his violence, none of that memory was amusing to you in the slightest. And nor was it to Eddie. 

Gareth turned to Chrissy when his laughter finally died off, “Hey, didn’t we play beer pong together?” 

Chrissy's face lit up with a nostalgic giggle, “oh my god, we totally did!” She exclaimed excitedly, but your gaze remained on your empty plate, unable to contain the rage bubbling inside of you. 

"It was so funny," she began, "Gareth kept missing it, but..."

Your patience reached its limit, and you couldn't help but interject. "When was that?" Your voice tinged with an edge, cut through the chatter at the table.

Multiple heads were quick to turn to you, and Chrissy probably had no clue what you were up to.  Maybe this was a low blow, maybe you shouldn’t tell in front of everyone.

“We were pretty drunk, I don’t remember-” She said meekly, but you interrupted, again.

“I was at that party too, but I must have missed that!” You continued, your words sharp and calculated. And feigning a faux sense of intrigue. Maybe it was cruel, but this was the perfect setup, and Chrissy was falling right into your trap. 

Before she could respond, you pressed on, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “oooh! Was that before or after you tried to hook up with my ex-boyfriend?” Your words hung heavy in the air, the whole table quick to fall silent. 

Almost all eyes except Chrissy turned to you, Robin almost choked on the strong drink Steve made for her. Gareth, Jeff, and Nathan all stopped their inner chatter, while Jonathan and Nancy’s eyes widened in unison.

As the tension continued to mount, Jonathan quickly turned to Nancy, leaning towards her, “Should I do something-” He whispered to Nancy, who didn’t dare to move, watching everything unravel before her. 

“Don’t you dare,” she warned, “she deserves this confrontation. And, I am tired of Eddie pestering us about this; he deserves to know.” Nancy shrugged, Jonathan reluctantly raised his hands in agreement, almost like he was surrendering to her reasonings. 

Chrissy stood there, her voice caught in her throat, mouth agape, unable to utter a coherent response. She was frozen, eyes wide with shock, while her fingers nervously fumbled with the napkin on the table, struggling to find the words to defend herself.

You reacted with a bitter, mocking disbelief, shaking your head slowly. “Shit, or was it after you blamed me for what Billy did to me? You know, making fun of my bruises and stuff?”

“What?” Eddie’s face scrunched in disgust, his eyes flickering to Chrissy, who seemed to shrink under the weight of what she did. Jonathan and Nancy watched with their mouth almost hanging open. Robin had a smug smile on her face, she bit her lip in excitement while watching everything unfold. It was like all of them had been waiting for this confrontation. 

Poor Jeff, Gareth, and Nathan just watched with a confused look, not knowing anything about the deep history between the three of you. 

Chrissy stammered, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment, but once again you didn’t let her. “No, no, wait!” You were relentless, sarcasm cutting through your tone as you playfully hit your forehead in a mocking gesture. “I think it was after you made fun of my parents leaving me, what did you say they were?” You mocked a pensive expression, a dangerous glint in your eyes, “Junkies?” Your gaze narrowed, Chrissy’s stammering continued, and she turned to Eddie desperately, while her vision was getting blurry. 

The room had grown oppressively tense, no one dared to speak, Robin, Jonathan, and Nancy all wore disgusted faces, along with the surprise of you laying everything out on the table, literally. Jeff and Gareth silently oofed, even though they didn’t know anything, they knew that what Chrissy did was fucked up. 

Eddie struggled to process it, your words, the realization that Chrissy had done something worse other than trying to hook up with Billy was hard to sink into his skin.  “What the fuck are you talking about?” He repeated, his entire world almost shattering dramatically.

“Oh, didn’t your sweet, sweet Chrissy mention all that?” You weren’t holding back, every bitterness, every ugliness, you were ready to spit it all at him and Chrissy.  

And you wished it would give you satisfaction, you wished it would make you feel better.

But it didn’t. None of it felt good, none of it filled the void inside of you. None of it helped you get over the betrayal that unfolded right between your eyes. 

None of it helped you get over the cruel look Chrissy gave you when she made fun of your traumas, none of it helped you get over the fact that Eddie told you that you ruined his life, and none of it helped the way your lip trembled when you saw the two of them kiss. 

“Okay, I’ve got the syrup!” Steve chimed in, unaware of everything that had just transpired in the room, his brows furrowed when he noticed the tension, every eye on the table turned to him, except for you, Chrissy, and Eddie. 

Chrissy's desperate gaze fixed on Eddie, pleading for some form of understanding or forgiveness, but his gaze remained unwaveringly locked on you, filled with guilt. Your own eyes were cast downward, remaining on your lap, while you tried hard to fight back the tears. 

Because no matter what, Chrissy betrayed your trust, you trusted her enough to tell her what Billy did to you, and instead of getting help, she tried to kiss him, or actually did kiss him, you never found out the truth—both of them told you a different version of the story. 

She made fun of your parents leaving you. She blamed you for the things Billy did. Like it meant nothing to her. Like you meant nothing to her. 

“Did I just interrupt something-” Steve was quickly hushed by Robin, who pulled him to his seat quickly. “Pinky is confronting Chrissy!” 

“What? Now?” He whisper-yelled, putting down the syrup jar on the table, eyeing the tension between the three of you. Robin nodded, “Eddie’s trying to process all of it, and Chrissy looks like she’s about to burst into tears,” she added. 

“He didn’t know?” Steve’s brows furrowed, “Nuh-uh, don’t you remember how P made us all promise not to tell anyone? You know how she is with her personal stuff,” the two of them whispered back and forth, earning a glare from Nancy that shut both of them up. 

Eddie’s expressions were unreadable, mixed with every possible emotion as he drew a deep breath in a feeble attempt to make sense of everything. “W-what exactly happened?” With uncertainty in his eyes, he faced you, he wanted to know everything. But you didn’t dare to look at him, crossing your arms defensively against your chest—you were in no way ready to tell him anything. 

“I-I wanted to apologize to you, and I wanted to..” Chrissy’s voice trembled, she seemed apologetic, eyes glistening with guilt, but it truly meant nothing to you.

“Shit, you really don’t fucking get it, do you?” You couldn’t help but click your tongue in annoyance, hand on your forehead in disbelief. “This isn’t about your stupid apology.” 

“You knew them, Chrissy,” you continued, your voice quivering with raw emotion, “you were there with me when they left, you fucking comforted me when I cried…” All of it felt too raw for you, your chest tightening the more you remembered it all, “and then you used it as a punch line for a stupid joke, to hurt me.” 

You took a deep breath in an attempt to continue, your heart tightening the more you spoke. “You knew what Billy did to me, you saw the bruises, and you acted like none of that mattered when you kissed him!” 

“I d-didn’t—it was a misunderstanding!” She tried to defend herself, but you didn’t care. 

You were quick to get up from your seat, feeling suffocated. “God, i-it really hurt, it did.” you confessed, your voice trembling as you blinked away the tears. “But it doesn’t anymore because you were dead to me the second you uttered those words.” Your lips trembled.

“And you,” with a tone filled with bitterness, you finally turned to Eddie, really looking at him for the first time. His eyes were filled with regret, brows scrunched up together with guilt. Your hand pointed toward him accusingly, “fucking date her for all I care, you two deserve each other.” 

You stormed off to the backyard quickly, not being able to hold back the tears anymore. Eddie got up the second you did, pleading for your name. The room fell silent again, and just as he was about to chase you, Steve was quick to rise to his feet, intervening with a grab of Eddie’s arm. 

“Give her some time,” Steve’s harsh hold on Eddie’s arm had everyone eyeing them.

“Excuse me?” Eddie retorted, his gaze dangerously fiery. 

“She needs some time, Eddie.” 

“Fuck off,” Eddie warned, gaze dropping to the hold that Steve had on him, his anger simmering just below the surface.

“Man, I’m trying to be helpful right now, you’re the last person she wants to fucking see,” Steve spat, gaze narrowing as he looked at him with disgust. 

That was the breaking point for Eddie, he took a step closer, his anger ready to spill over to Steve, which wasn’t fair, but it had been building up the second he saw how close the two of you were. The smiles you threw at him. The compliments. It was stupid and so unlike him, but with everything, he couldn’t afford to lose you, not again.

And it looked like he just did. 

“That’s not any of your fuckin’ business, Harrington-”

Before the situation could escalate further, Jonathan intervened, stepping between the two of them. “Alright, alright!” he gently defused the tension. “Steve, Rob, go see if she’s okay,” He demanded, the two of them looking at him dumbfoundedly, “Go!” he exclaimed, and Robin was quick to rise from her seat, dragging Steve away from Eddie who was still throwing daggers with his looks toward Steve.

“And Eddie, I need to talk to you for a second.” Jonathan caught Eddie’s attention and tugged at his jacket to the side while Nancy quickly excused herself from the awkward table before the three of them huddled in the corner. 

Eddie was quick to shake off the hold Jonathan had on him, his anger still uncontained. “What?” His voice was raised. 

“You need to calm the fuck down,” Jonathan warned. 

“Why didn’t you guys-” He took a deep breath. “How could you guys not fuckin’ tell me?” His voice was desperate. 

“She told us not to!” Nancy added. “God, I’m such a fuckin’ idiot.” He exasperated.

Jonathan agreed with a nod, “That, you are.” Earning a glare from Eddie, he continued, “I’m sorry dude, but it’s true, you shouldn’t have paraded her around in front of Pinky.” 

“How was I supposed to know?!?”

“You weren’t,” Nancy sighed, “but you knew what happened with Billy, and that should’ve been enough, Eddie.”

Eddie shook his head to disagree, his disheveled hair hung over his forehead, barely covering his pained eyes. “If I knew, if I fucking knew for a second that s-she made fun of, shit-” His voice cracked, struggling to find the right words. The vivid recollections of your pain etched lines of hurt across his face. “God, I saw how much her parents leaving crushed her, Nance. I was there, I comforted her.” Nancy could sense the hurt in his voice. 

“Every time she came over to a Munson dinner, every time Wayne told her she was family, every time Wayne did somethin’ for her... I-I could just see how much she appreciated it. Wayne, and me…” 

His voice continued to tremble, and tears welled up in his eyes. “And I saw those goddamn bruises that fucking asshole left, s-she was shaking, Jon- I-I knew how hard it was for her, if I…”  He took a shuddering breath, voice still shaky, and gaze glistening with unshed tears.

His hands moved in agitation, desperate to defend himself and express his guilt. “If I… If I knew for one goddamn second that she made fun of that, I w-would’ve never!” He punctuated his words desperately, hands rubbing against his face in disbelief.

“I know, I know,” Nancy reassured with a soothing voice, both she and Jonathan reached out to rub his back comfortingly. “I think she’s just upset right now, Ed.” Jonathan spoke up.

“I mean can you really blame her? I know you didn’t know anything, but the moment she came back to the town, the first thing she saw was you and Chrissy kissing… it was probably a tough pill for her to swallow.” Nancy mumbled.

Jonathan was quick to add with a soft-spoken plea, “Give her some time, and then you can apologize, okay?” He nodded, trying to take all of the information he acquired in the last five minutes

“I also think you have someone else you need to talk to,” Jonathan whispered, gaze pointing toward Chrissy who had been itching to speak to him, her gaze repeatedly flickering in their direction.

And once Chrissy realized Eddie looking back at her, she was quick to get up from her seat, shoulders slumped as she approached him. She eyed the way Nancy and Jonathan gave Eddie a slight smile and a nudge on his shoulder before they left. 

Her eyes were glossy, face red. “C-can I talk to you?” She stammered.

“Y-yeah,” he conceded, a hint of uncertainty in his voice, not able to help himself when his head turned toward the sliding door, wanting to get a glimpse of you but blocked by the figure of Steve.

“I-I should’ve told you what I did.” Chrissy sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat as she took a deep breath.

“I-I’m sorry. I just…” She recollected her thoughts, “you were like the only one who didn’t know and it just… It felt nice to hang out with someone who didn’t shun me out.”

“Steve, Nancy, Jonathan… even Robin, the second they learned what I said, they didn’t even look me in the face!” Her voice cracked.

“And I know I probably deserved that but that was so long ago and I…” Her gaze fell toward the floor, she felt embarrassed, she should’ve never done that to you, and she did have her reasons, but she also knew none of them would ever justify what she said. 

“I was just miserable and bitter and P-pinky didn’t deserve any of that. I know that but…” Her head snapped up, her tearful eyes locking with Eddie’s, “I really had fun with you these past couple of days and…”

Eddie was quick to interrupt her, shaking his head, “Chrissy…” He sighed, fingers rubbing his temples in an attempt to comfort himself, it was too much, everything was too much.

And he didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to talk to her, he didn’t want some pep talk from Jonathan and Nancy, he only wanted you.

He wanted to tell you how sorry he was, and how much of an idiot he was. Even though he didn’t know anything. But he should’ve known better. He should have.

And he felt the guilt gnawing at him, consuming him from the inside.

“I really felt like we had something-” Eddie was quick to dismiss her.

“Chrissy, I’m sorry I should have never done this, I-I’m such a fucking coward.”

“W-what?” Chrissy asked, her voice breaking again, tears brimming in her eyes. “I should’ve known,” she sighed, shutting her eyes briefly to avoid the tears.

Eddie let out a confused hum. “I-I mean I kind of did, I saw the way you looked at her, the way your eyes lit up unintentionally whenever someone mentioned her. The smile you had when she talked to you… You were never ever like that with me, not even for a second.”

It took Eddie a few seconds to process that, he knew he should’ve never done anything with Chrissy, he never should’ve tried to defend her to you, he should’ve listened to you. He was an idiot. 

Chrissy was right. It was you. It had always been you. 

“I didn’t- I didn’t fuckin’ mean to but I think like back in my mind, I did all of this to make myself feel better because I knew she might be coming back and I just wanted to make myself feel like I got over her. I-I know that’s incredibly shitty and I’m sorry-” 

“So you just used me?” She spat, feeling like a pawn in a game she did not want to be a part of.

“N-no! That’s not what I tried to do! I just… I just, I’m sorry that it came off that way… I thought I could you know… do this,” he mumbled, pointing toward the space between them.

“I can’t and I never should have tried.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” He could see Chrissy’s hurt turn quickly to anger, and maybe five minutes ago, when he didn’t know what she did to you, he would’ve apologized for being a dick, and for doing something as stupid as this. But he couldn’t be apologetic to her, not anymore.

“I-it means it’s always been her, and it’s always going to be her, Chrissy,” Eddie admitted, something that he should’ve realized a long time ago, and Chrissy wanted to laugh at that.

Of course, it was going to be you, it was always you. 

Billy, and now Eddie. No matter what she did, she could never compete with you. You didn’t even have to do anything and they would devote their whole fucking life to you. 

And it pissed her off, made her bitter. Which wasn’t fair, which didn’t make what she ever did or said okay. But her mind justified it. Fueled her to say those things to you. 

Eddie, struggling to process Chrissy's words, stammered in disbelief, “I can’t even look at you after what she told me. How could you be so cruel?” The way he viewed Chrissy changed in a matter of seconds, disgust overtaking his senses. 

But Chrissy found that amusing. She chuckled bitterly, shaking her head. “Me?” She pointed an accusatory finger at him, “You just admitted that you basically used me. Jesus Christ, you’re an asshole.”

“And I’m really sorry about that,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity, “that isn’t what I intended to-“

Chrissy, still seething with anger and disappointment, didn't give him a chance to finish. “Save it.” She rolled her eyes, hand defensively pointing toward him.

Gareth, Jeff, and Nathan suddenly appeared, intruding awkwardly into the already strained atmosphere between the two of them. Gareth was the first to speak up, attempting to break the tension. He cleared his throat and said, “Uhhh- hey man, we’re gonna take off.”

“You comin’?” Jeff inquired, standing beside Gareth.

 “Uhhh, no? I need to talk to her.” Eddie replied firmly.

“Seriously? You’re still running after her?” Gareth bit back, Jeff tried to elbow him to shut him up but it was no use.

“I’ll see you guys tonight.” He said through gritted teeth, not in the mood to deal with Gareth’s hatred for you.

“Chrissy, you comin’?” Gareth was quick to turn to her, and she nodded quickly, before throwing a harsh look at Eddie.

“Jerk,” she mumbled under her breath, leaving off with them.

“I did deserve that.” Eddie sighed, mumbling to himself before he finally decided to meet all of you in the backyard.

-

You leaned back on your seat, eyes still glossy but you looked happier, a giggle leaving your lips at something Steve said. 

And it hurt Eddie to see that, it hurt because your teary eyes were all because of him, and you were giggling only because of Steve.

It wasn’t like this before, he was the one who always made you happy, he never made you cry, he never uttered horrible words to you like he did yesterday. 

Was it all doomed? 

Did the chance for the two of you pass by and both of you were too much of an idiot to realize it? Did he manage to fuck everything up with just barely two days? 

Your laughter died down the second your gaze met his, breath getting hitched in your throat. He looked guilty, those shaggy bangs falling messily on his forehead, hand stuffed into the back of his black jeans.  Walking over to you with such shyness that your gaze softened, you didn’t want to be like this with him. It was never like this before. 

But it hurt so much that you could feel your chest swell with the pain. His words, Chrissy… you couldn’t pretend like none of it happened anymore. 

“Can we talk?” 

“Dude, I just told you-” Steve was quick to interject, and it brought warmth in your stomach, the feeling nicely seeping into your skin, knowing that your friends truly cared about you, and how much they would do to protect you. 

They had done it with Chrissy, you never asked them to do anything, but the second you told any of them what happened, they didn’t even throw her a second glance when they ran into her ever again in this damned town. 

And it meant so much, knowing that there were people you could count on, a sense of protectiveness and security that your parents never provided for you. But you liked that, you liked having them, an untraditional way of family, but your family regardless. 

“Harrington, will you fuckin’-”

You interrupted both of their stupid dick-measuring competition with a sigh, “It’s okay, Steve,” you murmured, throwing him a smile before squeezing his arm gently. “We do need to talk,” you nodded off toward Eddie, dragging him off to the other side gently, away from all of them.

“Look, fuck- I’m so sorry, okay?” He started, his voice apologetic.

“Eddie, please-”

“No, no, let me talk, please,” he breathed out, desperate, his gaze mirroring yours, fingers brushing on your arms, gentle, pleading. 

“I’m sorry, I’m a fucking idiot, I’m the biggest fucking idiot in the whole world.”

“Y-you never ruined my life, okay? You could never, even if you tried your hardest. Even if you did the worst possible thing to me. I could never see you like that. I could never see the worst of you.”

“I-I shouldn’t have done what I did, I shouldn’t have brought her everywhere, and I shouldn’t have tried to defend her to you.”

“E-eddie, stop” you gulped, interrupting him, “You-you’re confusing the fuck out of me… You tell me I ruined your life, and then I read those stupid notes-”

“You read them?” Eddie’s brows raised in surprise, an idiotic grin curling on his lips.

“Of course I did.” You muttered, avoiding his gaze.

“But you said-” 

“I wanted to piss you off,” you admitted with a meek voice. 

“And what did you think?” He asked, hopeful, still feeling nervous with the way you were so calm, he knew nothing good was gonna come out of this. 

“That I-I can’t do this.” 

“I mean, the song is really great…” You muttered, and you wanted to mention the other note, how much it crushed you and how much you wished it could change anything, but you couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t handle seeing him, you couldn’t handle anything about Eddie. You needed some time apart. 

“And I’m glad you realized you fucked up but I… I’m just so tired,” you sighed, licking your lips to get some sort of encouragement to say the things that you were about to say. 

“I-I can’t do this back and forth with you anymore,” you huffed. 

“I mean just look at us! I’ve been here for almost two days and look how many times we fought and then pretended like nothing happened! T-this isn’t how we used to be,” you bit on your lip, tasting the bitter taste of metallic blood, just so the tears wouldn’t spill. 

“I know…” he muttered, “but why didn’t you just tell me? Then… and even now?”

“I-I was embarrassed,” you muttered shyly. His brows scrunched, embarrassed? why would you be embarrassed for the shitty things she did?

“Why would you be embarrassed?” He asked.

“Because it was true, Eddie,” you blinked away the tears, settling with that uncomfortable feeling.

“What are you talking about, what she did was fuckin’ cruel, and if I knew-”

“N-no, it was true.” You huffed. “Deadbeat parents and an abusive ex-boyfriend… like how cliche could I fucking get?” You wanted to laugh bitterly.

“I-I’m a mess and she’s right… And so were you! It was such a gut punch when you said it to me, but you were right.” Your lip was wobbling, eyes squinted. “I-I ruined your life and-”

“No, don’t fucking say that-”

“But it is true!” You exclaimed with a sad expression, “I ruined your life and I-I should’ve never tried to re-enter it, and I should’ve left you alone.”

“I-I’m sorry, for everything, for LA, I could say that as many times as you need me to…” you sighed. “but I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“W-what?” He stuttered, still struggling to process your words.

“I told you Eddie, I don’t want to do this. As we said, we don’t have to talk to each other this weekend, and afterward, I’ll be gone.” 

“You won’t ever hear from me or see me again.” 

“But that is not what I want!” Eddie exclaimed, desperate, he didn’t want to lose you, and he was going to. There was nothing he could do to stop it. 

He already lost you once, and maybe he could blame you for that, but this one. It was all him. 

He tried to reach for your arm, to touch you again, to feel the warmth he felt a night ago like everything would be just as it was five years ago. But you were quick to take a step back away from him. 

“But it’s what I want.” You tried to speak calmly, your cracking voice fast to fail you. 

“W-what about the album cover?” 

With a touch of bitterness in your tone, you retorted, “I’m sure you can find someone much better than me.”

“C’mon, Pinky, you can’t be serious, that’s like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing-”

“I’d rather be stuck at the record store for the rest of my life,” you muttered bitterly, words cutting through him. You could see how much they were hurting him, but there was no other way, you had to protect your own feelings. 

Staying away from Eddie was the only thing you could do to stop hurting yourself and everyone else. You had already caused enough problems for everyone in the room. 

Eddie's voice turned somber as he uttered, “So, this is it?” A sense of defeat washed over him.

“We’ve been doing it for the past five years, why should it change now?”

Because I want you. 

Because I haven’t been able to do that for the past five years either. 

Because I could never stay away from you. 

Because it has always been you, from the moment we met. 

Because I love you. Always have, always will.

Was what he should’ve said, some grand speech, something to sweep you off your feet, something to change your mind. Anything. So he wouldn’t lose you again, so you could finally realize how much he cared about you, how much he would always care about you.

But nothing came out of his trembling lips, not even a sound.

He stood there, feeling as if time froze around him. Like he was stuck, everything around him moved, but he didn’t, he couldn’t.

He watched you go back to Steve. Steve comfortably threw an arm around your shoulder and let you know that you could stay here with him and that he would drive you to The Hideout tonight.

And it should have been him. Him, who offered to take you to his place. Him, you spent the rest of your day with.

Him, who you ran off to whenever you felt sad or when your heart was broken. He couldn’t accept that he was no longer the one you ran to, but the one who caused all of it. 

✦ final authors note — OKAY. so please let me know if u want flashbacks in the next chapter bc thats what i had in mind but idk how yall feel abt flashbacks but i swear they will reveal A LOT LMAO.

also please interact/reblog/like or give me any feedback to support me ily &lt;3

permanent taglist (lmk if u want to be added): @mandyjo8719 @kellsck @batkin028 @hideoutside @sashaphantomhive @nabiiturner @andvys (ILY.) @siriuslysmoking @plk-18 @emxxblog @babyloutattoo89 @micheledawn1975 @sole-screws @joannamuns9n @trixyvixx @fangirling-4-ever @browneyes528

#eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson series #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson angst #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #stranger things fanfic #edide munson #eddie munson x you #getaway car series #getaway car

[artificialbreezy]

Omg dad Noah is the cutest but could you imagine him being so much more protective of his pregnant partner

i feel like Noah is just protective of the ones he loves period but when he sees the little plus sign on that stick it’s like something changes in him. he takes you EVERYWHERE. your midwife will be on the tour with you because god forbid anything happen to you. you guys find out when he’s on tour, your standing in a random hotel bathroom in New York and your pacing bc you’re so worried it’s gonna fuck up his career but Noah is anxiously waiting bc he wants his to be positive so bad. he hasn’t told you but he’s been thinking about this for months now. he hears the timer go off and looks at you and says “you wanna check it or do you want me too?” and you just kinda shrug and he checks it and his eyes immediately water and your stomach drops straight to your ass because you think he’s gonna leave and he looks at you with the happiest eyes and biggest smile, “baby, we’re gonna be parents!” and you’re like “wait. you’re not mad?” and he’s like “oh my god no. i’m so excited. we’re gonna have a little us running around before we know it.” and he’s immediately making plans for you to move in so he can watch you because he refuses to leave you alone. he’s gotta keep an eye on you. he makes sure you take your prenatal every morning, if you want any sort of take out he’s on his way to get it, when you show any sign of pain or discomfort he’s immediately asking “what’s wrong? do we need to go to the hospital? how can i help? baby why don’t you sit down?” and you’re like “noah i’m fine it’s okay, im growing a whole ass human inside my stomach. my guts have moved to make room for your baby-“ he’d interrupt you so fast, “our baby.” and you’d just smile and sit down like he said so he’d calm down. now he can’t keep his eyes on you 100% of the time. like when he’s on stage. but he’s also worried about the loudness of the venue being too much for your little ole body to handle now that your 7 months pregnant, so he makes you sit in the back with Davis. he’ll run back to the room during song breaks to check on you. he’s totally missed his cue a couple times because he got caught up feeling his baby kick. when he got back to the stage, he’d announce “sorry guys my girlfriend’s here and our baby was kicking like crazy and she never lets me feel her kick so i HAD too”. If noah has an interview he’s texting you the whole time and he’s making Jolly, Folio, and Nick keep their EYE on you. and he knows you wouldn’t tell him if something was up because he’s busy so he’s message the band group chat asking for the opinions on how you are and it’s always. she just has lunch or she’s sitting on the couch. it brings him ease knowing his family is keeping you safe when he can’t. bro and when you go into labor? he is your voice, your advocate. you guys talked so much about your birth plan (he wrote it all down so it would go according to plan) and when the hospital (if the hospital) is being picky he shuts it down FAST. “we are doing this the way she wants. no ands, ifs, or buts about it. the only reason we’re stepping outside of this plan is if it’s life or death”. he definitely would talk you through the pushing, he’d hold your hand, kiss your forehead. it broke his heart seeing you crying because of the pain but he knew you’d be okay. when he heard the cries of his little baby, the man wouldn’t be able to hold back his tears. he’d look at you, tears streaming down his face, “you did it mama.”

i got so carried away with this omfg

#noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fic #bad omens smut #noah sebastian headcanons #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian #noah sebastian blurb #bad omens headcanons #bad omens cult

[repulsiveliquidation]

Kiss Me Before You Go

Leah Williamson x Reader Blurb!

Angst. Based on a song, kiss me before you go by will hyde. I wrote this in 15 minutes on the plane when I heard this song come on lol.

just a little something before i post again later!

//

“I can’t fucking do this anymore Leah!”

“You can’t do this? I’ve been trying, you can’t just throw us away like that!”

“Watch me.”

She walks out the door, slamming it behind her. I stare at it and wait, hoping that she opens the door and walks back inside. Waiting for her to slam herself back into my arms. Waiting for her to kiss me. Waiting for her to love me again.

She doesn’t. A car door slams, engine runs and she’s gone. The love of my life is gone.

She said she’d never leave.

//

“It’s been a week Leah, you’ve got to get out of this bed.”

“I don’t want to.”

“She walked out on you, Lee. She left.”

“She’ll be back. She always comes back.”

“No one knows where she is. She’s not coming back.”

“Get out.”

“Leah please.”

“I SAID GET OUT OF MY HOUSE ALESSIA!”

Alessia walks out quietly, leaving Leah alone. Leah cries again for the umpteenth time, hoping and praying that her belief that you will show up comes true. It has to.

//

“How is she doing, Ale?”

“You know exactly how she’s doing, hermana.”

“I want to go back, I really do. But she’s been a handful since her injury. She gets mad easily and she blames everyone but herself. I can’t blame her, she’s frustrated I get that. But she doesn’t get to walk all over me just because she’s had her life turned upside down!” Frustrated tears flow down your cheeks, Alexia pulls you into her arms and rocks you slowly. You’ve gone back to Spain, needing to be away from Leah and home was the best option.

“I know bebita. You put up with me when I got injured. I know how she feels and I know it’s hard but she needs you now more than ever Pequeño. She needs some time but she also needs someone who is strong than she is right now. For me, it was Mami, Alba and you. She has her family; no doubt they’ll be the ones who will be there for her, but you’re different to her. You’re you. She needs that.”

You mull on Alexia’s words, nodding softly into her chest. She smiles, rubbing your back with a happy smile on her face that she got through to you. Leah had called her sobbing before you got here, knowing that you would have either stayed with one of the Arsenal girls or gone home. When no one at Arsenal had heard from you she called Alexia. She thought it was odd to get a call from the England captain but answered anyway. Her sobs broke Alexia’s heart, listening to her cry out for you and to tell you that she loved you and that she hoped you would come home after you’ve had a bit of time.

About 20 minutes later you called her and told her you were booking a flight to Barcelona and after she ended the call she sighed. She knew about Leah’s injury and having suffered the same one just a few months before she knew how stressful it must have been.

You sat on the couch that night and booked the next flight back to England. You called Alessia and asked her how Leah was doing and your heart shattered at the news that Leah had been cooped up in bed the whole week. You apologized to Alessia for having to be a part of this, promising that you would make it right.

//

The sound of the front door unlocking scared Leah. She was about to go out there and yell at Alessia for disturbing her again when she was met with the one person she had wanted to see all week. She stood there dumbfounded, rubbing her eyes and hoping she wasn’t dreaming. You walked in the house, standing in front of her.

“Leah?”

She doesn’t answer, crumbing to the ground in tears. You immediately pull her into your lap, sitting on the floor with her. You cry with her, cradling her and rocking her back and forth.

“I’m so sorry. I love you so much Leah, I’m so sorry I walked out.”

“You left me when I needed you.”

“I know baby, I’m so sorry I did that. I broke a promise I made to you. I can only hope you can forgive me baby.”

“I needed you…I cried out for you…I wanted you to hold me and to tell me I was going to be okay…”

“I will now, my love. I will try to be better. I love you. I love you so much it hurt so bad to be away from you when I knew in my heart and soul that you needed me. I was wrong. I wasn’t trying hard enough. I will try harder now, only if you’ll let me.”

“Please, don’t break my heart again.”

“I won’t my love. I’ll put it back together and I’ll never break it again.”

#woso soccer #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso x reader #leah williamson #leahwilliamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #engwnt #woso blurbs #woso #Spotify

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 14: genius

“hi, y/n and i’m here today with genius to explain the lyrics of my song ‘kill bill’.” you smiled at the camera.

“so, fun fact about kill bill is that it actually only took about 6 hours to produce. i, uh-” you laughed. “i saw this thing online and it made me feel some type of way, and i was like ‘i need to release what i feel right now.’ so, i took out my songbook and went crazy. i called up my friend jean, my producer, and i was crying,” you laughed again, and made a phone gesture with your hand and brought it up to your ear. “and i was like, ‘bro i just wrote these lyrics, can we make a song right now?’ and we did, in like 6 hours.”

VERSE 1

i’m still a fan even though i was salty

hate to see you with some other broad, know you happy

hate to see you happy if i’m not the one driving

“the person that this song is about is actually also an artist, and he’s actually really talented. so basically, i was saying that even though i hate that nigga,” you stuck up your middle finger. “he’s still a great artist, unfortunately. the next two lines are literal, uh, about a month, maybe a month and a half after we broke up, he was posted up with another girl. which was honestly really shitty because he broke up with me to ‘focus on his music’” you quirked your eyebrow and used quotation marks. “basically this whole song is about me being a jealous heartbroken bitch.” you sarcastically smiled.

PRE-CHROUS

i’m so mature, i’m so mature

i’m so mature, got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men

i don’t want none, i just want you

if i can’t have you, no one should

i might

“i was tryna convince myself that i was strong, and that this wasn’t hurting me as much as i thought it was, but it definitely was. literally wrote a whole muthafucking song about it.” you laughed. “we we’re dating for a long ass time to be honest, so with the ‘i don’t want none, i just want you’ lyric, it’s basically saying that i’ve been with you for so fucking long, it’s always been you, how am i supposed to move on, y’know? it’s lowkey corny but yeah. the last lyric is very um, yandere simulator vibes but it relates to the theme of the song, which is like jealousy and vengeance and possession.” you put your hands up. “don’t worry y’all, i’m not a criminal.”

CHORUS

i might kill my ex, not the best idea

his new girlfriend's next, how'd i get here?

i might kill my ex, i still love him though

rather be in jail than alone

“i can explain y’all, i’m not a killer or a criminal but imma be real, i was definitely having some intrusive thoughts. but everyone does. like, anyone who says they’ve never had thoughts about hurting someone that did them dirty, or fucked with them, they’re fucking lying, 100%. and relating to what i said before, we were together for so long. no matter how much i try to deny, the love is still there. it’s been built up for years, as much as i want to, i can’t magically forget it overnight.”

you continued on with singing the lyrics and explaining them until you completely finished the entire song.

“kill bill was an impulsive creation and release. we recorded and finished the song in like 6 hours, and i was like ‘i want to release this today’” you pointed downwards. “but everyone told me no.” you rolled your eyes. “so i asked when was the soonest we could release it, and it was like in 2 days. so the next day i posted on instagram saying that i was releasing a song tomorrow and that was it. there was no promo for it, which is why i’m so fucking shocked that it did so well. but, thank you to my fans, friends and family, i love you all. stream kill bill, album coming soon, bye!” you blew a kiss to the camera, before smiling and making heart with your hands.

comments

erenjaeger: whole lotta yip whole lotta yap

⤷ y/nsinterlude: BITCH

y/nsbby: ALBUM COMING SOON? HOW SOON IS SOON GIRL??

⤷ y/nsinterlude: im doing good wbu

valentinagomez: TE AMO MI AMOR 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

⤷ y/nsinterlude: TE AMO HERMOSA 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

user2000: i love u ur so real ❤️❤️

⤷ y/nsinterlude: im the realest i love u too 🤍

conswife: stop talking shit about connie omfg

shyshiloh: i just died 😵😵

⤷ y/nsinterlude: i’ll revive u bae

user182: not u still in love with that sick man..

⤷ y/nsinterlude: I DIDNT SAY THAT SHIT

jkirstein: professional yapper

⤷ y/nsinterlude: i’m beating your ass

user555: dont let c***** see that video..

🦋 !

- this chapter is fr just a whole lotta yapping but 🫣🫣

taglist! <3 @lovelytayy @cyberkitty1 @sqlty @cr0quis @koreluvsspring @asp7n @lottiematthewsceo @shidousmainluvr @idontknowwhatnametochoosee @drugzforyou @astrokatsuki @crvzy-fujoshi @ncentic @ilyconnie @stellartoi @bubbabobabubbles @tee4str

#aot smau #connie springer #eren jaeger #aot fanfiction #aot x black reader #attack on titan #fake tweets #shingeki no kyojin #x black reader #jean kirstein #anime smau #genius #musician au #luvrrgirl444

[gretaswhore28]

Messed up

This is definitely an angsty one. Pretty well just talks about Noah post-breakup while they’re on tour.

Warnings: crying, forgotten shirt, confessions

Noah as he sings the song he wrote about your breakup and how he wishes he could take back the things he said to you. He knows he was harsh. That he shouldn’t have used your past against you. That he should’ve been more understanding. In the song he mentions how he’d go to the ends of the earth to make things right if you’d let him. He just wants you to take him back.

He’s pretty well like this by the end of the song, with tears in his eyes. Looking up to that one spot in the balcony where you’d always stand to watch the show, wishing you were there now.

Luckily after that song they take a few seconds for a small break. He stands to the side of the stage out of view, wiping away the tears that fell as he walked off. He composes himself after a short hug from Ruffilo saying “you’ll be okay, we can talk about it after if you want to. I love you.” When they come back his eyes are slightly red, he carries through the rest of the shower best he can. The minute they step off he immediately goes to Ruffilo and just holds onto him for dear life. “I fucked up so bad man. She was the best thing to happen to me since becoming friends with you, the band. She gave me the stability I needed. The stability I craved. I just want her back.”

When he goes to sleep that night, he holds onto the shirt you forgot to grab the night you left. There is pretty well a fairly decent large wet spot on it from where he had been crying. The guys knew to leave him be. To talk about it in his own time. He only checks his phone anymore to see if you’ve texted or called.

What Noah doesn’t know, is that you heard the song when it came out. Still wanting to support the others. You listen to the lyrics, given the song is slower than the others they’ve put out. How it’s different than V.A.N. You hear him saying how he regrets how he treated behind how he hid it lyrically. How he wishes he could change what had happened. Just wanting to make things right, to make it up to you.

The song kept replaying in your head after that. It wasn’t until you saw a video of the performance on your feed. Seeing Noah’s expressions. You noticed his cheeks started to get red like they did when he tried to keep himself from crying. The visual creating a heavy feeling in your chest. It takes you about a week, but you send him a simple text.

You: hey

His text back is almost immediate.

Noah: hey

You: I heard the new song

Noah: you did? I’m surprised you did after everything.

You: well, just because we broke up doesn’t mean I’m not going to support the others anymore. They’re just as much apart of the band as you are.

You send another text after that to follow up what you were going to say.

You: did you really mean all the things you said in it?

Noah: I did. Y/n, I’m so fucking sorry for what I did to you. I shouldn’t have throw your past in your face, I shouldn’t have been so ruthless. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve been better to you. Better for you. I can’t look at myself knowing I hurt you. I just want to make things right. I know you probably don’t believe me, and you have every right to do so. Every show I look to the spot you always stood. I want you to be there but you aren’t. Ruffilo keeps telling me I need to find something to get my mind off you, but I can’t even get the motivation to get up unless it’s for a show. I miss you so much.

You didn’t know what to say about his confession. You probably reread it a good three times. You had silent tears coming down your cheeks by that point.

Noah: you don’t have to say anything. I just needed to tell you. I still love you y/n

After he texted you that, you got a message from Ruffilo

Nicholas: y/n he’s a mess right now. Even though he said you don’t have to say anything, he keeps checking his phone. It’s good we have a couple days off right now, but the guys and I can only do so much to help him. Let me bring you out here so you both get clarity. Please

You: it’s more I don’t know what to say. I know he means it, I can see it in his expressions during videos I’ve seen of the performance on my feed. I want to talk to him, I do, but I can’t find the words.

You: I’ll come out to a show. I’ll be there for the next one. Don’t tell him, he’ll get worked up before hand. I’ll come see him after. Just send me the details.

With that, Ruffilo set up your flight and asked Matt to get you from the airport when you landed. The flight there and to the venue felt heavy for you. You left your stuff in the car Matt picked you up in. You hung out at one of the local breweries close to the venue. When the time came for doors to open, you made you way inside through security. You went up to the spot you always went to during their shows, knowing he’d see you there.

The show started after Poppy’s set. The familiar riff of Artificial Suicide. Then Jolly’s silhouette appeared. After a few lines, Ruffilo and Folio come on. Then, there’s Noah. He comes out, full of his usual show energy. Soon enough, it comes to the point in the show where they play the song he wrote for you. He gets about halfway through before he finally looks up into the balcony towards you. His eyes go wide, seeing you standing there. He continues the song, remember to look out towards the crowd, but still looking towards you a lot. When it gets to the last line, he sings towards the crowd, finishing it by looking at you and speaking; “I’m sorry.”

The show eventually comes to and end. Davis being the one to come get you, taking you back to the green room. By the time you reach the door, Noah is pacing, the others standing or sitting, telling him it’ll be okay. They see you walk in, the guys excuse themselves, leaving you and Noah alone. After the door closes, Noah takes a couple steps towards you. “I- what are you doing here?” He asks, his voice slightly shaking.

You look at him, pushing your hair out of your face. “Ruffio suggested it” you confess. He curses quietly, and sits down. You follow his actions. Sitting on the other side of the couch. It’s quiet for a while. Both of you feeling uncomfortable in the silence.

“I meant what I said y/n. I’m sorry. I wish I could change things, make them right” he speaks softly. His gaze shifting towards you. Watching to see what you do next. You take a minute before responding. “I know you’re sorry. I could see it in your performance, I hear it in your voice. But it doesn’t change the fact that what you said really hurt me. I really trusted you when I told you those things, I trusted you to not use them against me. I trusted you when you said you wouldn’t hurt me in the beginning of our relationship. To have the person you love, the person you found solstice in say those things to you; it was like I was being stabbed. It felt like I didn’t matter to you as much as you said I did” you told him honestly.

He moves to sit closer to you, taking your hand in his. He waits to speak until you’re looking at him. “And I have lived everyday in regret of what I did. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was the minute i said them, but i let you leave instead. I’m sorry for the hurt i caused you. I’m sorry i said the things i did. I’m sorry I wasn’t better to you. I understand if you say no, but please give me the chance to make it up to you. I don’t care how long it takes, I don’t care if it takes me until the day I die to make it up to you. Just please, let me try and make things right. Please” his eyes are pleading, watery.

You consider his words for a while. Letting them process. You’re scared, he can see it. He knows he broke your trust. He speaks again, “even if it’s only as friends. I just want you back in my life. Please.”

You look at him, looking into his eyes. They’re searching your face for some kind of reaction, some kind of answer. “Okay” you say, his eyes light up in hope. “But I swear to god if you even fuck up in the slightest, I’m done. You get one chance and that’s it” you tell him honestly.

He holds your hand between his, leaning to press it against his face. You can feel tears on it. “Thank you y/n, thank you. I promise to be better. I promise to listen completely. I promise to be what you need this time.”

You use your other hand to make him look at you, holding his face with it. Wiping his tears away, you speak again. “I’ll hold you to it.” He asks if he can hug you, you respond with a simple nod. He pulls you into him, holding onto you tighter than he ever has before. Terrified you’ll disappear if he lets go. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian bad omens #noah x reader #noah sebastian davis #bad omens fanfic #bad omens

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Summary: Modern Eddie + reader are early 30s. Eddie is the famous lead singer/guitarist of Corroded Coffin, who has gotten himself into legal trouble due to his antics and drug use. Eddie broke your heart many years ago and he receives a letter from you asking to meet to talk about what happened between you two so long ago. Secrets are talked about, mental walls are built and broken down. Most of this series will be in Eddie's POV. (I will also be putting song inspirations on each part 🤍)

Word Count: 5k

A/N: There will be a LOT of mentions of heavy drug use in this series. This series DOES NOT glorify the use of drugs. It is not cool, it is not fun, it is something that destroys people and everyone around them. I have loved and lost people I know to drug and alcohol use, a lot of what you read here is my own personal experience from what I have seen with my own eyes. I hope this series will spread awareness and will give anyone and everyone who reads this hope. If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please know you are not alone, there is help out there.

The silence is almost deafening as I sit there in my dimly lit office, tapping my finger against the arm of the chair; the metal of my ring clinking as I stare at my therapist, Dr. Catherine Ryan, in front of me. She had a kind smile, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk today. 

“What’s bothering you?” She asks gently. 

I gaze at her, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. A stupid habit I formed when I stopped using six months ago. 

Let’s see, I’m tired of the noise inside my head that is constantly reminding me what a piece of shit I am. I’m lucky that my bandmates don’t hate my guts for the shit I put them through on tour when I was needle deep in a heroin fog and couldn’t remember the lyrics to a fucking song I wrote. My music career is only surviving because the world thinks we’re on a hiatus to write our next album when I actually did a stint in rehab and have court ordered mandatory therapy once a week. The only way I can have therapy is if she comes to my escape cabin in upstate New York and escorted in and out by a security guard. 

Oh, I also can’t stop thinking of you, the one whose heart I broke fifteen years ago back in Hawkins, Indiana because I was too scared to love or be loved. The same you who mailed me a letter that I received at my P.O. Box in Boston three days ago, that I haven’t opened yet and sits in my back pocket folded up, because I’m too much of a pussy to see what you have to say.  

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I tell her, taking a cigarette out of my pocket. I let the smoke fill my lungs and exhale the smoke away from her. 

“What do you want to talk about?” She asks, crossing her legs. I stare at her long legs, and my eyes scan up her body. She was curvy and thick, with a perfect set of tits and stunning green eyes. I almost laugh, if a beautiful woman like her was in my house six months ago, it wouldn’t take long before I’d have her bent over the back of my couch, fucking her until she couldn’t take it anymore. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, or whatever the fuck the saying is. 

“Eddie, this is mandatory therapy. I can’t help you if you’re not willing to talk. We’ve had four sessions so far, and the only thing we have talked about is your drug habit.” She seemed annoyed, and I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m only here because of my drug habit.” 

“Is that all?” 

She was testing me, and I smile at her, leaning my elbows against my knees. “You know, I bet you are really good at helping people and are able to get your patients to sit here and cry about their shitty lives or whatever it is people tell you. But I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, you’re not gonna get it from me.” 

“You keep up a guard. Defense mechanism, it’s common in people who have been hurt before.” She says, scribbling a note down. 

I narrow my eyes. “I sense judgment in your tone, and I’m not sure I care for it.” 

“It’s not judgement, Eddie. It’s an observation. I’m observing you.” 

I sit back against my chair and scoff, lighting up another cigarette with the ember of the one I just had. I inhale deeply. “I think our session should be cut early today.” 

She closes her notebook and gives you a kind smile. “If that’s what you want.” 

“I do.” I tell her. 

I get up from my seat as she stands, walking her to the door where the security guard waited outside. I may be an asshole, but I know how to be a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead when your name is Eddie Munson. She nods at me as she leaves, handing me her card for the time of the next session for next week and I close the door behind her. I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and let out a deep sigh. I plop myself on the couch, hearing the crinkle of the letter in my back pocket and I lift my hips to pull it out. I look at the neat print on the front; seeing your handwriting brought back so many memories that I had forgotten about. 

Why would you send me a letter? Is it just to tell me how happy you’ve been these last fifteen years since I’ve been gone, that you’re married with children, thriving in your thirties? 

“Well, the only way to know is if you open the letter, dipshit.” I mutter to myself. I groan, shaking my head as I rip the letter open and unfold it. It was only two pages, but you had written a lot. 

 Hey, You’re a tough guy to find, being famous and all. I didn’t think this P.O. Box was real at first, but I ended up tracking down Gareth and he told me it was real. I can’t believe he still has the phone number he’s had since high school.  I don’t know why I’m writing you a letter, I guess I could’ve just texted you, he did give me your number, but I wanted this to feel more personal. Like when I’d write you those stupid folded notes in class.  I know it’s been a long time, and you’re probably thinking I’m absolutely insane, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately. There are so many things that I wanna say to you. There are so many things that were left unsaid, and I guess lately it’s been bothering me. You’re probably not even going to get this, so I don’t even know why I’m continuing to write.  I don’t want you to think that I hated you or have hated you this whole time. It would be easier to hate you, believe me, I’ve tried but I physically cannot have that kind of power over me. I’m proud of you, Eddie. You worked so hard to get to where you are, and you made your dreams come true. I knew you could.  I want to tell you I’m proud of you in person; to let you know that what happened in the past stays there and we can both move forward in a way. I mean, I just told you now. I know you’re really busy and I feel stupid now. But I will be in Boston in December, the week of the 18th while my aunt is down in Florida for the week, house sitting. Gareth had mentioned you and the band were taking a hiatus to focus on the writing and doing some self reflecting. I would love to see you, especially with the holiday season. 

It’s not every day you get to see the boy you’ve known since diapers be on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, selling out stadiums. 

Please don’t feel obligated, though. 

I suddenly forgot how to swallow, and I almost choke on my own saliva. You had written your phone number on the bottom of the last page. I swing my legs onto the floor, taking my phone off the coffee table. I scroll to my contact list, and add your name, along with your phone number. 

I pause, my hands begin to shake, and I inhale deeply. 

“No no no, not now, not now.” Grimacing, I sit back on couch, closing my eyes as my stomach turns to knots and my chest feels like it was going to explode. I can feel the sweat bead at the back of my neck as the panic attack feels like it’s choking me out and I groan. I go into the drawer of the coffee table, pulling out the lorazepam pill bottle, taking a minute to open the cap because my hands were so sweaty. I throw the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry and breathe in through my nose. 

This happens more often now, especially since being off dope, I had to learn how to deal with them like a normal thirty-four-year-old man. It took a lot of convincing for my doctors to give me the lorazepam, but apparently threatening to go and take a hot shot of heroin to kill myself was convincing enough for them to give me the lowest dose of the stupid pill. 

I close my eyes. Thinking back to how I got here; how I could’ve lost everything because of my own stupidity, because of my inability to slow down, because I took sex, drugs, rock and roll too literally. All because I refuse to let love into my soul and hold on tight. 

One year earlier

The dressing room walls echo with the moans of myself and...I don’t even remember her name. Sarah? Shelly? It doesn’t even matter. I only see the back of her head anyway; she was very blonde. I hold onto her hips tightly, slamming my cock in and out of her. She was screaming like a porn star, and I’m pretty sure she was putting on a show. 

“Oooooh, just like that baby. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Oh goddd, you’re so fucking good.” She moans and I roll my eyes, slamming into her harder just to get her to shut up. I reach over to the coffee table to grab my tiny vile of cocaine, I pop open the cap, and pull out of her for a moment. She was still rolling her hips as I sprinkle the drugs onto her ass.

“Stop fucking moving.” I tell her, grabbing the plastic straw and snorting back the drugs into my airways. She moans again when she hears me snort another line off her, and I slam myself back into her. My head falls back in pleasure, the effects of the cocaine causing every single part of my body to pulsate, and I can feel my orgasm approaching. 

“Fuuuuck.” I moan, my rhythm getting sloppy, and she groans. 

“Cum inside me baby, cum inside me.” She moans and I immediately feel myself go soft. Fuck this. I stop moving and slide myself out of her, she turns to look at me, her mouth opened in a gasp. “Why did you stop?”

I take a cigarette out of my pack and light it. “Get out.” 

“What?” She snaps. 

“Get your shit and get the fuck out of my dressing room. Telling me to cum inside you, I know what you’re doing.” I take her dress off the floor and throw it at her. Her eyes narrow and she gets up from the couch, throwing the dress over her head. 

“You weren’t even that good, fucking junkie!” She yells at me, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lungs. She looked like a cartoon character. Her eyes wild, her hair a wild mess, her fake tits bouncing as she storms out of the room. I lean back on the couch, a little mad that I didn’t cum, but whatever, that’s what my hand is for. I don’t know why I invite these women back to my dressing room after every show. Most of the time, these women don’t even know the words to our songs, they just want to be able to tell their friends they fucked a rockstar.  I sigh, opening the vile and do another bump. I’m one hundred percent in love with heroin, but I’m an addict. Cocaine just takes the edge off when I need it to. I tie my hair back in a low bun, blowing my bangs out of my face. I stand, catching a glimpse of myself in the fluorescent lit vanity mirror. The lighting made me look terrible; I was thinner than normal. The ram skull tattoo across my abdomen looked discolored, but I know it was just the way the light was hitting it. I was losing muscle mass in both of my arms, but since tattoo sleeves covered both my arms, no one could notice. No one knew how bad it was getting with the dope; I honestly preferred to suffer in silence about it, but I knew they noticed. I would feel Gareth’s eyes burn into the back of my skull whenever I would escape to go into a bathroom, or immediately go into my hotel room to get started on my new supply. I felt terrible keeping it from him, he was my brother, my bandmate, but he didn’t need to worry. I was fine, at least that’s what I told myself. 

We had awhile before we hit the next city of the tour. The tour bus felt too crowded, too stuffy. We all decided it would make sense to hide out in a hotel for a few days before we got to Atlanta.  I requested my own room of course, the supply I just bought felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Isn’t that what they say about money? 

Money meant nothing to me; if I lost it all tomorrow, I wouldn’t care. That’s the beauty of this drug, you don’t have a care in the world once that shot courses through your veins. 

I lock the door to my room after saying goodnight and head into the bathroom. I pull my shirt over my head and undo the belt from my jeans. I set everything up on the table: fresh needle, the drugs, and water bottle cap.  It doesn’t take long for me to pull the dope into the syringe, at this point it’s like riding a bike for me. I sit on the floor against the bathtub, I wrap the belt around my left arm, pulling it tight with my teeth and clench my fist. I see the most perfect vein pop up in the bend of my arm; I have to be careful though, I can’t go to the same spot twice or else I’ll blow up my veins and then more people will notice.  I’ve always hated needles, isn’t that ironic? I’m thinking that as the tip of it pinches my skin and my thumb is on the trigger, slowly pushing it down.

“A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…” I sing softly, feeling the sweet burn of the heroin flow like a tsunami in my veins. My eyes flutter close as the most beautiful feeling overcomes me; my head lulls back against the porcelain and I feel a smile grace my lips. 

A loud knock at my door startles me out of my high, and I’m pissed. 

“Hang on a second.” I mutter and awkwardly pull myself up, undoing the belt from my arm. I place the cap on the needle and toss it behind the doors under the sink. 

Knock knock knock knock knock

I toss my sweatshirt over my head, putting a cigarette to my lips. “Yeah, I hear you! Fuck, I’m coming.” 

I open the door to find Gareth standing there with his arms crossed, I light the cigarette and wave my hand, tilting my head at him. “Yeah?” 

“What are you doing?” He asks me. 

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m not doing anything.” I inhale on the cigarette, and he continues to stare at me. If there was a God, I thank him for giving me brown eyes, because at least he wouldn’t be able to see how my pupils look like pinholes. “Do you wanna come in?” 

I move to the side, and he walks by me, I shut the door, locking it. 

“Do you want a beer or anything?” I ask him, going into the mini fridge, pulling out two, I could feel myself about to nod, but I quickly stand up, clearing my throat so I can at least look like I’m not fucked up. 

“No, I’m fine.” His eyes scan every inch of my room, the floor where my clothes were, Sweetheart laying on the foot of my bed. My necklace I always wore with the red guitar pick laid on the nightstand by the bed. I always take it off before I shoot up, I don’t know why, I think something is going to happen to it if I don’t, it means a lot to me. His eyes fix on my belt on the bathroom floor, he doesn’t say anything, but I know what he’s thinking. 

“Gareth, if you got something to say, man, just say it.” I tell him, leaning against the small table, I ash my cigarette into a coca cola can. 

He turns to me; he was still blessed with a baby face that I remember from school. “How bad is it getting?” He almost whispers.

“How bad is what getting?” 

“The drugs, man. Come on dude, I know you’re not stupid.” He sits across from me on the foot of the bed, gently moving Sweetheart over. 

I sigh. “Gareth, I’m fine. It’s not getting bad.”

He puts his head down, shaking his head. “Don’t fucking bull shit me, Eddie. I’ve known you for almost two decades. Have you even looked at yourself lately?”

I close my eyes, feeling a wave of anxiety hit my lower gut, and I force it to go away by not caring. “Don’t worry about me, man. I’m serious.”

“Of course, I’m gonna fucking worry!” He stands up, his face full of rage. “If you fuck up this tour, our entire music career is in the gutter! How many times have I had to bail you out when you’ve been coming down from a cocaine binge and are late to rehearsal? How many goddamn times have I had to convince cops not to arrest you when you’re inebriated beyond belief. It’s getting fucking old, man.” He towers over my 6-foot frame and again, I start laughing. 

His eyes widen. “Are you seriously laughing right now? 

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “I am, because it’s funny how you think I’m gonna be the one who’s gonna fuck up this tour. I built this band from the ground up, nothing and no one is gonna fuck that up.”

“Oh fuck you, dude!” He yells at me. “You built this? What happened to you saying this entire band was built on friendship, loyalty and fucking friends who play nerdy games? What happened to that Eddie?” 

“Dead.” I give him a sideways smile. “Dead dead dead.” 

He looks at me incredulous. “Wow. You’re an actual nightmare.” 

“You’re the one who decided to knock on my door.” I place the cigarette in the can, hearing it sizzle out. I cross my arms over my chest, already itching for another shot. “Anything else?” 

He scoffs, walking towards the door and stepping out. “No. Have a good night, Eddie.” 

“Yeah, you too!” I scream at his back as I shut the door, locking all the locks and kicking the bottom of it. Suddenly, the chair near the table gets a boot from me, followed by the lamp, the paintings on the walls. I smash the beer bottles against the windows, and when I’m finally spent, I collapse on the bathroom floor, digging out the needle. I’ll leave the hotel a couple hundred dollars to pay for whatever I damaged; I’ll hopefully remember to clean up tomorrow.

I’m pretty sure I put too much in it this time, because I’m riding something wild right now. My eyes are half lidded, my breathing is slow but it’s such a peaceful feeling.

“Makes the medicine go down…medicine go down…”

The beginning of that year was when shit started going downhill fast for me. Once I had gotten my panic attack under control, and I felt calmer, I sent you a text message, realizing that tomorrow was the 18th. I typed up, deleted, typed up, deleted, about six different times before finally sending you: Hey stranger, it’s Eddie. Pretty wild to hear from you. I’m currently up in my cabin in upstate NY, but if you are gonna be in Boston. I can make the trip. It would actually be awesome to see you. Hope you are well. 

I forgot how nervous you made me, even back then. You were such a kind, beautiful soul, who loved me and took care of me when I didn’t deserve it. I was so nervous all the time because I really loved you too, but I couldn’t…wouldn’t let myself feel it. You were the only woman in my life that knew me, and actually saw me. You were my best friend, always my partner in group activities in elementary school. It was us against the world the minute I kissed you for the first time when we were eighteen, and then it ended with me, burying my head in the sand, because I’m a fucking idiot. 

My phone dings and I see your name pop up.  Hey!!! Wow, your own cabin huh? Are you a mountain man or something this winter season? I’m sorry if my letter was all over the place, I really should’ve just texted you but, whatever. Here we are now. Yes! Let’s meet, I can give you a spot to meet for coffee? Unless you just want my aunt’s address, I don’t know how Boston is when it comes to famous people. 

I type up a message: Boston is one of those cities that is wild to play on stage in front of, but the people don’t give a fuck if you’re famous. Which is why I bought a condo there, I can live out some downtime in peace. Coffee sounds great. Just let me know a time when you are settled. 

You quickly respond: Ha! Boston is pretty rad. I’m already here, I got here a day early. I know you got a pretty long drive so we can meet the day after tomorrow if you’d like? Say around 10?

I type up that that time and date worked for me and begin packing a small suitcase to take with me on the trip. 

I honestly felt like I was dreaming all this; I get sober, you, a woman that was literally the one that got away because of my own fucking deep-rooted issues, comes back into my life and wants to see me? I feel like I’m living the Notebook. Except, the rated R version where Ryan Gosling is an ex-junkie, who doesn’t build houses, or used to blow cocaine off a woman’s asshole. 

I groan, I already know I’m gonna fuck this up again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The coffee shop you chose was a place I’ve never been before, it seemed newer, and no one batted an eye when I walked in. I take off my sunglasses and scan the place. It was quaint, quiet, with rustic undertones but mostly modern. 

“Eddie?”

My eyes immediately fix on you, sitting in the back booth by a small window, and I feel my heart flutter down to my stomach. God, you were stunning. Your eyes still shone that sparkle in them, your smile was just as adorable as I remembered, especially the dimples in your cheeks. I whisper your name and find myself quickly walking towards you. You wrap your arms around my shoulders, and I let out a deep sigh, almost lifting you off your feet, as I hug the curves of your waist, burying my face into your shoulder. We stay like that for a while, you giggle into my chest, telling me you couldn’t believe it was me and that I was here. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to. We pull away and you are still smiling, looking into my eyes, you lift your hand to gently curl your fingers into my hair and I smile at you. 

“I love that you still kept this hair.” You say, shaking your head, looking like you’re still trying to process that I’m standing in front of you. 

I gently cup your face, swallowing hard, studying you. You turn your cheek into my hand, and I slowly remove it. You nod for me to sit, and I scoot over into the booth, peeling off my leather jacket. I still stare at your face; I couldn’t believe you were real. The server comes over to take our coffee order, I get mine hot with triple espresso and a shot of caramel, and you get an iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and almond milk. I smile, you’ve kept the same order since you started drinking coffee. 

Your eyes fix on mine, and I smile at you, sipping my coffee. “You haven’t changed.” I tell you softly. 

“My back will have to disagree with you.” You laugh, spinning the straw with your finger. “You haven’t either, aside from more tattoos.” 

I smile; remembering that you were there for most of my smaller ones. I had convinced you back then to get a large tattoo that started from under your breast, all the way down to the top of your hip; that was always my favorite part of you to taste. I cross my legs, feeling a tingle in my lower belly. Fucking pervert. 

I notice a few finger tattoos on your right hand, and I nod to them. 

“I told you they were addicting.” I laugh. “How many do you have now?” 

You laugh, a sound so beautiful to my ears, I want to cry. “Sixteen? Seventeen?”

My eyes widen and I laugh. “No way! Let me see.” 

You meet my eyes, your face turning crimson. Of course, there were hidden ones, I immediately feel like I overstepped and go to apologize when you speak. “It’s a lot of random ones, all over. I added some stuff to the rib piece.” That one you show me, you lift up your sweater, and I feel my dick twitch. 

Pervert. Dirty pervert. It’s been fifteen years, put your dick away. 

The cluster of wildflowers that started from your ribs to your hip had added roses to different spots they ended up entwining into a beautiful ivy vine, before falling off towards your back. I notice the bottom of a small piece on your sternum, and you pull your sweater back down. 

“That’s beautiful.” I tell her, smiling. “What have you been doing these last fifteen years?” 

“Well, I moved out of Hawkins.” I smile at that, she always wanted to leave that place. “I moved to Maine, I bought myself my own little cabin in the woods. I’m a nurse at the local hospital there.” 

My heart practically bursts with pride, and I laugh. “See? You don’t have to be famous to have your own cabin. That’s wonderful, I know that was always a dream of yours, becoming a nurse.”

“Yeah, it’s fulfilling. Heartbreaking 99% of the time but fulfilling.” Your eyes fix on mine again, and we just share comfortable silence as we stare at one another. 

“Your eyes are sad.” You say suddenly. 

“What?” I snap myself back down to my reality; it was easy to get lost in your eyes. 

“You look like you’ve been through hell and back again. Sorry for being blunt, I’m just sorry for whatever is bothering you.” Your eyes show me that same familiar kindness, and I smile awkwardly at you.  

“I’m okay.” I tell you, only half lying. 

You place your hand over my ringed fingers, gently entwining them. I stare at our hands, and gaze back into your eyes. “What am I doing here?” I whisper to you. I can feel my heart do another back flip, and my brain screams at me to get up and run because I can still feel your love. 

Your fingers gently move over the bumps on my rings, and your eyes dart to mine. You spot the small silver chain around my neck, half tucked in my shirt, and you lift your hand to gently pull out the red guitar pick. You finger the plastic and smile. “Wow. You kept this all these years.” 

“Of course, I did. I never take it off.” Except when I used to shoot dope, but that’s beside the point. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Sweetheart, why am I here?” 

You sigh, giving me a sad smile. “Would it be weird if I said that I really fucking miss you? And for the last fifteen years, I haven’tstopped thinking about you.” 

Heart exploding. 

My breath hitches and my eyes widen slightly. “But…I hurt you…and I left—"

“I know, I know you did, but” you take my hand again. “Eddie, we were best friends. Since before we could even say those words. You were so important to me. You’re still important to me. How could we throw that away?” 

I stare at you, reading your face, gazing at the shape of your mouth, the way your hair falls in waves, the curves of your breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling my hand away from yours. “You wouldn’t think that anymore once you know what I’ve done, who I’ve become.” 

“Then tell me.” You say softly, your eyes dart from my lips, to my eyes. I stare at your lips, remembering how perfectly they fit against mine, how soft they were. How eager you would be when your tongue would slip into my mouth, deepening the kiss, your soft moans vibrating against my mouth as I carefully push myself inside you. 

I meet your eyes; you’re waiting for me to say something. I shake my head, running my hands over my hair. I sigh. “How long you got?” 

You look at your wrist at a fake watch. “About a week.” I laugh and lean back in my seat, sipping my coffee. 

Yeah, I missed you too. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Special shout out to: @trixyvixx @originalstar1 @iggyizalien @themorticians-world

& so many of you who supported my last series.

I wouldn’t continue writing if it weren’t for you guys giving me the motivation to do it. Love you all!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson comfort #rockstar eddie munson #Spotify

[mybiasisexo]

DRABBLE GAME #5 [CLOSED]

After 1000 years, I've decided its time for another drabble game 🥳!!!! I think I'm going to do up to 20 asks, so put your request in while you can!! so excited to write like this again. Thank you for supporting me and enjoying my work! I adore you all more than you know 💕🥰

rules:

send a number (at most 2)**

send a member (exo only [ot9])

please dont send in more than 3

will only accept requests from THIS list

please be patient with me haha

**if a number gets requested more than 3 times it’ll get striked out

"I'm not jealous, you're jealous."

“Do you love me?"

"Come cuddle with me."

"What did I do wrong?"

"i’m gonna marry you one day."

"What one am I?"

"You saved me."

"She was hot, admit it."

"I’m pregnant."

"Well you’re not the only one."

"You’re my person. you’ll always be the one i go to."

"Just pretend."

"What are you doing here? it’s the middle of the night."

"I’m your husband, it’s my job."

"We promised each other not to be like this, but... I can't stop it."

"Welcome home."

"After everything…I’d still choose you."

"I think I love you."

"You know I can’t be found with you."

"I think you should kiss me."

"I wrote you a song."

"Just stay this time. Stay for me."

"Stop being so cute."

"For God’s sake, stop crying."

"You’re a jerk."

"I remember our first kiss."

"Did you get into a fight?"

"Are you cheating on me?"

"Quit beating me up!"

"You’re one of the most important things in my life."

"Can I call you that?"

"Touch me again."

"Could we pretend that we’re in love?"

"I dont want to go back to how we used to be. i want more. i want you."

"This is not a time to give me driving lessons!"

"You have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that."

"Maybe you could stay? Just for tonight?"

"I’ll kick his ass if you want me to."

"Please, let’s go to bed."

"I’m really lucky to have you."

"I think it’s adorable how easily you blush.”

"I thought there was time."

"You are still a baby."

"It looks good on you."

"And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations."

"You broke up?"

"We’re not ‘fine’."

"I’m not angry."

"Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?"

"Fuck, you are so beautiful."

"You’re playing with fire here."

"We were so young."

"I don’t deserve you, but i want you anyway."

"You're pretty amazing. you know that, right?"

"I thought I’d never see you again."

"I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't important."

"Just hold me."

"We're not just friends. you know that."

"I guess i was wrong about you."

"I sent you a bunch of kiss emojis."

"Can you just leave me alone?"

"You’re so clingy, I love it."

"You look like an egg."

"Well geez, if you don’t like what I’m wearing, I can go and change."

"Does he know about the baby?"

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"But, I said I love you. "

"How drunk was I?"

"I won’t let you get hurt."

#chanyeol #baekhyun #exo scenario #exo scenarios #exo drabble #exo drabbles #exo oneshot #exo oneshots #exo fanfic #exo fanfics #exo fanfiction #exo fanfictions #exo x reader #exoxreader #drabble list #sehun

[translatemunson]

track three — the ex tapes

warnings: not proofread. this is not a fluff series, so be ready for some angst and angry characters.

author's note: thanks for all the love these past few chapters! i'm thinking of taking some requests on scenes/drabbles you'd like to read about this series, what do you think? send your ideas my way via ask or message me!

series masterlist

Eddie didn’t call you again. He went silent. Yeah, that was definitely a goodbye.

This was one of those days where the connection wasn’t there. The artist you worked with gave you some trouble when trying to find the subject of the song. You’ve talked for hours, he asked his assistant to get you some coffee and cookies from a nearby cafe, but even after all of that, he couldn’t give you enough material to start based on his experience.

You wrote a verse and a chorus you are not proud of, leaving the rest for another session. But you’re not sure if this was going to happen. He felt a bit off, you knew when people didn’t want to open themselves up, for whatever reason. 

Perhaps it was your fault. You were so connected to your personal story that everything was distant. You drive back home listening to your classical music tape, letting the harmonies and crescendos get the ideas out of your mind.

You don’t recognize the black car parked a few spots to the left of Steve’s car. You’ve been living in this building long enough to know everyone else’s cars. New neighbors? No, you weren’t aware of people moving in for a while now.

You gather your things and go up the stairs to the third floor. Everything is calm.

“Stevie! Wanna order some pizza?” You unlock the door and meet with a very serious Steve staring at the person on your couch. Black jeans, denim vest and jacket, dark curls. “What’s this? Why did you let him in?”

Both boys look in your direction. You cross your arms in front of your chest, your guitar case on your feet.

“I think you should talk.” He motions to Eddie to stay in his place.

“Steve-”

“Think of your career, ok? I’ll be in my room,” he walks to you and hugs you. “Try not to kill each other. Scream if you need me to kick him out.”

Steve leaves you alone, locking the door to his room — you bet he’s gonna eavesdrop on your conversation, whether you like it or not. You put your things on the table and let a deep sight cut through your silence.

“What are you doing here, Munson? No, what do you really want from me? Wasn’t leaving me behind like we were nothing enough?”

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

“I know, you said it a few nights ago. But I’m not buying it. How did you find me?”

Eddie looks in the direction of Steve’s room and you feel a little betrayed. You knew Steve would do anything for you, to protect you. And maybe you were too drunk when he arrived after the phone call and you poured your heart out telling him you wished things ended up differently. But you were too hurt, too afraid to let him closer again.

“Sorry, I-”

“You don’t mean it, so shut it. You never returned my calls, or my letters, or even let me know when you were in town so we could have a decent conversation. And now it’s too late.”

“You wanted closure? Do you even know what it means? Because to keep writing our story on people’s songs isn’t closure.”

“Like you’ve never written something about us as well. You can’t change my mind, Munson: I’m not writing with you. Now leave me alone.”

Eddie stands up, but doesn’t go for the door. He takes some bold steps until you’re close.

“You left me in the studio, was it some kind of twisted payback?”

“You broke my fucking heart, Eddie! Making you pay for the studio rent is nothing compared to what you’ve done to me!”

“Well, isn't it funny that you’re working in the same field as me? It’s like you were hoping this would happen.”

“Idiot, I’ve been writing songs and poems for ages! Who gave you the poem that inspired your first hit?” He doesn’t answer, well aware of the day you gave him an envelope with the poem inside. “Why did you use it anyway?”

“Because it was good, Y/N, really good. Can we please put those things behind and talk about our jobs? Because I really need to write this song, and you’re the only person that can understand me.”

You don’t understand me, he said that before you left the trailer in a hurry. It’s been like six years since that night, and you still feel it hunting you. Because you know you were wrong, but you were also young and too eager to get it.

You wanted to move to Chicago, to attend college, to live with Eddie in a small apartment. But you weren’t on the same page. He didn’t see how leaving somewhere else would be good, how he could keep playing with the band. According to him, you had everything you needed in Hawkins.

You had this huge fight. Screaming at each other how things were going to be better, new opportunities and everything else. To him, studying was a waste of time. To you, his band was a waste of time. In the end, you left the trailer after getting tired of all of his bullshit.

When you returned a few days later, he was gone. He moved to Los Angeles, they got a record deal, Wayne explained to you. He gave you his number and new address, and God knows you’ve tried to talk to him, at least to say you were sorry and you wanted to try long distance before ending things up.

He ended things before you could try.

“It has to be you, Y/N. I’ve tried with others, they don’t get it like you do. Please.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I can’t.”

You take a paper from the table and start writing down all the songwriters you’ve worked with and could help him, maybe would be honored to work with him. Because you know you can’t go in a studio with him, write down his feelings and walk away without feeling hurt. The song would play everywhere and it would sink the knife deeper.

You offer the paper. Eddie takes it but doesn’t give it a look, shoving it in his pocket right away.

“Please.”

You start crying, your memories making you go back to that night in the trailer. You’ve seen this film before, he’s gonna leave you again and again. 

Eddie brings you to his chest in a warm hug. You inhale his scent: cigarettes, maybe coffee and some fancy cologne. Time was good with him. You hug him back stronger, wishing things were different in the past. He doesn’t let you go until he’s sure you’ve calmed down.

“I’m so sorry that I left you. I really am.” He holds your face gently, sweeping the tears away. “Back then I thought that I always had to choose, and I didn’t want to do it because I really wanted to be with you, but music means everything to me. And then we fought and I had a good reason to run away. But you didn’t deserve it, and I’m so sorry for that.”

“I know, Eddie. But I have my fair share of guilt,” you cover his hands with yours. You wished you did this sooner, found your way to Eddie sooner. “I wanted you to leave everything for me, without thinking about other ways we could do it. And when I did, it was too late.”

He holds your shoulders. “Let’s call it a truce? Just for the sake of our jobs. We write the song, I give you a huge cut from the money and we can follow our own ways.”

“You can’t tell people that Charlie Rogers is your ex, because I really don’t wanna be Eddie Munson’s ex,” you add to the deal.

“Sure.” Your proudness is always showing, but he agrees with you: you’ve built your career by yourself, not by being someone’s ex. “Anything else?”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise, love.”

“I can fit you in my schedule.”

“Great,” he claps his hands, satisfied, “if you wanna work in a specific studio, let my manager know, he can arrange that.”

“Nah, choose your favorite and we’ll be fine.”

“Right, ok,” he smiles and leans in. “So see you soon?”

“On thursday, probably. I’ll have to cancel with Madonna, but that’s fine.”

“Madonna? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it's the third time we’ll work together. I can fit her somewhere else,” you say like it’s nothing. “Clean your schedule for me, rockstar, and meet me here at eight. And make sure to rent the studio for noon. There’s something we need to do before our writing session.”

“‘K, I’ll be here.”

“Ok.”

But none of you move. His big brown eyes don’t leave yours, you can’t break the contact. Reality is hitting you in the middle of your face. The thing you asked for years is happening. Eddie is here.

A door is opened and you hear footsteps.

“Erm, I thought you killed each other,” Steve cleans his throat.

You break the contact first. Eddie puts a cheeky smile on his face and walks to the door.

“See you on thursday. Bye, Steve.”

“See ya, Munson,” Steve does the honors of letting Eddie out. As soon as he closes the door, his eyes find you. “Are you alright?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it.” You take your stuff and walk to your room. “Please, leave me alone tonight.”

“I’ll make dinner for you.”

“No need.”

“Y/N,” he’s already worried about you.

“I need a moment alone, Harrington. Talk to you tomorrow.”

taglist: @@lokiofasgard616 @munsonology

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x f!reader #rockstar!eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #songwriter!reader x eddie munson #songwriter!reader x rockstar!eddie munson

[here2bbtstrash]

I’m obsessed with Gracie Abrams’s whole discography and I hope you can write something SUPERRRR angsty (crying, screaming…) inspired by these songs. Literally I can’t choose because I love all of her songs but maybe Feels Like, 21, Rockland or Unlearn would be great! Thank you for opening request ❤️ I love your writing very much 💖

mwah mwah mwah I LOVE YOU !!!! OKAY. i feel this needs an explanation because 🥴 i've been looking for creative inspiration and i was talking to the queen of my heart @gimmethatagustd who said that they would sometimes set like writing "challenges" for assignments in school, and i loved that idea. AND THEN i was sat back listening through these songs and when 21 came on i immediately started hearing a conversation in my head, just the dialogue, and then i was like 🤔🤔 what if i only wrote the dialogue ??? and so. that's what we did 😬 i hope you still like it, i know this is weird but it was a fun exercise for me and tbh i really like how it turned out ??? /disclaimer

still accepting song ideas to write drabbles based on! specify the member you want OR let me choose~

pairing: jungkook x ??? (the "other person" can really be anybody.... reader..... another member.... crack ship of your choice..... go crazy lol) wordcount: 555 ~ angel number contains: a phone call between exes and just a whoooole buncha angst, jk's ex speaks first if it helps you keep it straight, also i'm curious to know whose side you're on 🤔🤔🤔

“Did you have fun on your birthday? Hyungs take you out?”

“Mm-hmm. Drank a lot. Regretted trying to keep up with Yoongi.”

“I wish I could’ve been there.”

“I do too.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I feel really shitty about it.”

“It’s okay. I thought maybe you were telling me to move on. It’s probably a good thing, really.”

“Jungkookie.”

“Please don’t call me that. It’s not fair.”

“Why?”

“Because it fucking hurts. Because you broke up with me.”

“I didn’t think it would be like this, J—JK. I didn’t think you’d just… cut me out of your life completely.”

“If I cut you out completely I wouldn’t have picked up the phone.”

“You know what I mean. There’s stuff I still want to do. With you. Like go out and get drunk and do karaoke in your kitchen. Celebrate your birthday. I hate missing the important things. And the little ones, too. …And I hate hearing you cry.”

“Tough shit. You made the call.”

“But I didn’t want to lose my best friend, too. There’s stuff that— I don’t know, that I didn’t think about. That I miss. I miss you. This is so hard.”

“I’m sorry the fact that you broke my heart is inconvenient for you.”

“Why are you being so fucking mean?”

“Because you don’t get to do this. Not now, and not every time you keep fucking calling me, when three months ago you sat me down and said you didn’t love me anymore.”

“Jungkook, I—”

“After I spent four years with you, and we built a whole life together. Got your fucking eye tattooed on my arm like an idiot. And then you just woke up one day and decided to throw it all away like it never meant anything. Well that’s on you. You don’t get to keep changing your mind.”

“I’m not changing my mind, there’s just some things—”

“Well you don’t get some things! I’m not your fucking science experiment to pick apart and only keep the shit you like! It’s all of me or none of me, and you picked none!”

“Not trying to pick you apart, not trying to hurt you.”

“You already did.”

“Jungkook, stop! …Now we’re both fucking crying, is that what you wanted? Are you happy?”

“Are you?”

“No, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. You don’t get to be the only one that’s hurt here. I’m fucking miserable without you.”

“And you think I’m not? You think I don’t miss you too?”

“That’s what I’m saying, I don’t see why it has to be like this. It feels like extra pain for no reason. Just cause we’re supposed to.”

“Hyungs said I need space.”

“Well, I hate space. It’s dumb.”

“...Yeah.”

“I want my best friend Jungkookie back. I pick up my phone wanting to text you about stuff like twenty times a day, and I hate feeling like I can’t. Like I’m not supposed to.”

“I know. I miss my best friend, too.”

“I’m so sad by myself.”

“But you weren’t happy with me either.”

“…I was in some ways. But not every way, no.”

“Do you want to get back together?”

“I wish that the answer was yes. It would make things a lot easier.”

“But it’s not a yes.”

“No.”

“Then what do we do?”

#jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #bts angst #bts x reader #anonymous #song drabbles

[dasy002]

SHUTTERED HEART 2

Main masterlist| Actor masterlist

Past Scarlett Johansson x fem!reader

Present Elizabeth Olsen x fem!reader

Warnings: angst (?), some bad words, I pretended reader wrote some famous songs but all the rights go to the real authors!!

Songs: "Happier than ever" Billie Eilish | "Cherophobia" Martina Antilli | "Lost cause" Billie Eilish

This is a part two of the previous story. The idea was given to me by an amazing girl on wattpad!

Love ya all

Daisy 💜

It’s been years since the day Scarlett left your house stepping on your heart. And you haven’t been doing well.

If earlier going out drinking and fucking random girls in bars was a once a week thing, now it became a routine. Going to clubs, getting drunk as fuck, having sex with some chicks, sleeping till noon and then starting over again. 

That’s when the press started to notice, and that’s why you hate being a famous singer. Everyone always finds out what you’re doing, no secrets. The first pics started to appear on the cover pages of the magazines, they pictured you smoking weed, drinking and making out with strangers. They started calling you whore, slut, drug addict and more. At that point you had hit rock bottom, you weren’t even able to do music anymore. 

That’s when your mother suggested you go away for a while. “Knowing she’s far away from you, will make you feel better (y/n/n).” she said as you walked past the airport’s gate. 

Everyone says new home, new life. Well that didn’t apply to you, at least not in the first few months. Your routine didn’t change at all, until one day walking down Sunset Boulevard you saw a young boy sitting on a paper box while playing the guitar. At this point, while the music flies in the hot hair of Los Angeles,you feel a void start growing inside of you. You missed singing, the hard wood of the guitar under your fingers, the vibrations of the strings as you pinch them. 

That’s when you decided you wanted to change and you were ready to ask for help. You wanted your life back 

In the meantime Scarlett went on with her life, or at least that’s what she told herself. For how much she tried she couldn’t take you out of her mind. The pain in your eyes, the tears and your outburst still hunted her dreams after years. How did she end up hurting you so much when avoiding it was all she cared about and the reason why she ended things between you two? She couldn’t find an answer.

When your not so healthy lifestyle appeared all over the internet and magazines things started getting worse, cause she knew it was all her fault. She wanted to go visit you and try to help you move on, but then she would find herself wondering ‘Is it really a good idea or will I make her suffer more?’ 

Well by the time she decided you had already flown all the way to sunny California. 

Then there was Rose. Gosh this little girl missed you like crazy, but her mom had not the guts to tell her you were gone forever. So her answers were always the same “(y/n) is really busy little bean. I’m sorry.” or “She’s not in town right now Rosie.”

Anyway, whatever excuses Scarlett puts up for her daughter she couldn’t bear the sadness in the kids eyes. It broke her heart day after day, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell her the truth , cause Rose would have ended up hating her for sending her ‘mama’ away.

In the end it was her fault.

TIME SKIP 4 MONTHS LATER (Cause I can)

Therapy isn’t as stupid as you’ve thought, it’s actually bringing you somewhere. It’s still too early to say you’re as good as new and ready to start again, but you’re working on it.

You’ve started understanding that you live for no one, but for yourself. That’s what you and Scarlett had was amazing, yeah, but you can’t go on remaining clinging to the past cause you’re afraid of what will happen in the future

And with that said you’ve started writing songs again. Addison (not me in love with Addison Montgomery in grey’s), your therapist, told you that expressing everything you’ve felt and are still feeling, in the form of music, helps to metabolize everything. 

And she was right. The more songs you write the more you can look back at things in an objective way and let them go.

“When I’m away from you

I’m happier than ever

Wish I could explain it better.”

It took you time to admit it, and probably this is the hardest song you ever wrote, but as soon as you said it out loud for the first time you felt like a huge weight had been lifted from your chest. 

You’re better without her, You’re happy away from her. And you don’t know why it took you so long to admit it. 

TIME SKIP 2 MONTHS LATER (Cause I can)

So everything was going good, you were writing music again, you were clean both from alcohol and from weed. You even met a cute redhead (I’m obsessed with red haired girls) on the beach and went on a few dates with her.

So yeah, everything was going good until it wasn’t.

You don’t even know when it started to go south again. It happened so quickly that you didn’t even have time to realize it. One day you were happy, the next one you were afraid of this happiness.

“Come te la spiego la paura di essere felici

Quando non l’hanno capita nemmeno i miei amici”

(How do I explain you the fear of being happy

When not even my friends have understood it)

“It's hard to explain!” That's what you say to Addison when she asks you what’s wrong. And you’re not lying. You don’t know how to explain it , cause it doesn’t even make sense to you. It’s like a voice inside of your brain, everytime you almost reach happiness, whisper “You don’t deserve it.” and you believe it.

“Come te la spiego la spiego tutta la pazienza 

Che ci metto ma non riesco a vivere senza

Qualcosa che mi opprime 

Che mi indichi la fine

Perchè ho un cervello che è strafatto di spine."

(How do I explain to you all the patience 

That I put into it but I can’t live without

Something that oppresses me

That shows me the end

Cause my brain is stoned with thorns)

And you tried, God knows how much you tried to fight it in the beginning. But then you start growing tired and this feeling of constant fear of being happy starts to feel good. ‘If I’m not happy, I can’t get hurt again.’ that’s what you say to yourself every time a part of you try to look for an ounce of happiness.

“Questa è la mia Cherofobia

No, non è negatività

Questa è la mia Cherofobia

Fa paura la felicità 

Questa è la mia Cherofobia 

Ma tu, resta…”

(This is my Cherophobia 

No, it’s not negativity

This is my Cherophobia

Happiness scares me 

This is my Cherophobia

But you, stay…)

All of your friends, old or new, it doesn't matter, start to leave. They don’t understand you, for them you’re just being exaggerated, fake. And they don’t want a friend that would slow them or stop them from doing what they want. So one by one starts to leave you behind.

Only one sticks by your side, Elizabeth Olsen. She’s such a sweetheart, she never leaves your side and helps you fight the voices in your head. 

And the rest is history.

TIME SKIP 1 YEAR LATER (Cause I can)

“You ain’t nothin’ but a lost cause

And this ain’t nothin’ like it once was”

That’s the lyric of your last song that keeps repeating in your mind, as you walk hand in hand with your girlfriend Lizzie in Central Park.

Yes, you’re back in New York, but only for a couple of weeks. You accompanied Elizabeth on her press tour for her new movie ''Doctor Strange 2” (I’m in love with villain Wanda guys).

And yes, you and Lizzie got together in the end. It took you a while to definitely get over Scarlett, Elizabeth was there by your side and in the end you find yourself being madly in love with her. 

You two are chatting about where to go for dinner tonight when you see a very familiar face sitting on a bench. You look at Lizzie strangely calm and point to her where Scarlett was sitting, she looks at you and asks “You wanna go talk to her or we run away like two crazy girls?”. You love how she always tries to make you laugh when you have to face something that freaks you out. You found it cute. You shake your head smiling and answer “I guess we can just walk away like two normal people, Liz.” “But we aren’t normal, kitten…” she adds while smirking at you, and in that moment you know something crazy has just come up to her mind. She grabs your hand and starts running round the park dragging you behind her, as she giggles so loud that all the pigeons fly away and half of the park turns to look at you. But you don’t care as you pull her arm lightly, making her almost fall over you before connecting your lips in a messy kiss.

At the hearing of loud giggles and the rustle of wings, she takes her eyes away from her book and starts looking for the source of all this mess. And that’s when she sees you, lips locked with her ex co star Elizabeth and a dumb smile on your face. She remembers that smile, it’s the one you make whenever you are truly happy, and seeing you smiling for something that it wasn’t her hurt. But she doesn’t have the right to feel betrayed, in the end it was all her fault.

“You ain’t nothin’ but a lost cause

And this ain’t notin’ like it once was.”  

#writing #marvel girl #marvel #marvel actress #marvel actors #scarlett johansson #scarlett johansson x reader #natasha x fem!reader #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x you #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #celebrity x reader #fem reader

[voidsbabe]

Only love can hurt like this part 3

Pairing: Stiles x reader

Characters: Stiles and Lydia

Word count: 1k

Warnings: cursing, English isn’t my first language

Dt: @taurusvic

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two months have passed since Y/N left. It all changed. I broke up with Malia. Finally I realized that she was not the one for me. Sadly, too late. We all could feel the absence of Y/N. Lydia was trying to be brave but she couldn’t hide her tears and Scott even though he claimed he was fine I knew he wasn’t sleeping well just like me. I was having nightmares, of course if only I was sleeping, otherwise my insomnia hit pretty badly. She came back just like the attacks.

“Lydia, you can’t do this to me. I know that you know where y/n is. Please, you have to tell me” I say looking at Lydia. I bite my lips “I’m not gonna give up. I have to talk with her.”

Lydia sighs and looks at me “Stiles, I’m sorry but you have to understand that y/n doesn’t want to see you or talk with you. You have to respect that. She is finally happy. Let her be happy on her own.”

I close my eyes and sigh “Fine.”

I walk out of Lydia’s house and drive back home. Ever since that night when we’ve found out y/n’s gone I couldn’t forgive myself. Sleep is my only escape from reality. I feel like I’m losing my mind every time I am conscious. How could I be so stupid and so blind?

I take my phone and dial a number. After a few tones my call is being picked up.

“y/n?” I ask hoping that she’s going to respond. I hear silence.

“You have to come back to me. I need you. I can’t lose you. I love you.” I say with a shaky voice. Few tears rolling down my cheek.

“I asked you not to contact me. I beg you, stop breaking my heart Stiles. Don’t do this to me" says Y/N then hangs up.

“FUCK” I scream and hit the desk with my hand. I keep hitting that desk with anger and tears rolling down my cheeks. Eventually after a few minutes I calm down and lay on the bed. I close my eyes hoping that I will fall asleep but that’s not happening. Instead of that a memory shows up in my head.

It was Christmas. Me, Y/N, Lydia, Scott were sitting on the floor looking at the fireplace. Some Christmas songs were playing on the radio as we were giving each other presents.“Come on Y/N you have to open it quickly!!! I spent the whole week looking for this'' says Lydia while giving Y/N’s a big box. I smile looking at girls knowing what Lydia actually has for her. Y/n opens up the big box only to find out the smaller box and so it goes on till she finds her little box full of jewelry. Y/N smiles and hugs Lydia tightly screaming with excitement. “Ok my turn.” I say and reach for the big white teddy bear that’s been sitting on the couch. “Well, Y/N meet Lucky.” I say and give the teddy to Y/N. She hugs him and then leans to give me a kiss on the cheek.”

I shake my head to get rid of that memory. I miss her a lot and knowing that she is out there it…makes me want to fight for that. For her. But how could I do that when she doesn’t want to talk with me or see me? I can’t live without her and I will do everything to find y/n.

I took my phone out and texted Lydia “ Believe me, I'll do everything I can to finally find her. Living without her is a torment which I cannot bear anymore. If you don't tell me where I can find her, you won't see me anymore ... no one will”

The answer came almost immediately “WAIT!!! What are you going to do ? Stiles ?”

“I can't live like this anymore…” I wrote back

“Ugh you fucking idiot. Do NOT blackmail me” she replied

“I don’t blackmail you Lydia. I just say what I intend to do“ I wrote and smiled knowing that Lydia will give up soon.

“You act like a psychopath. Please don’t do something stupid Stiles. Y/N needs time and space”

“Maybe I am a psychopath but love made me crazy and please don’t blame me. Only the loss of true love can hurt like this. Please help me find her” I replied and my eyes flooded with tears. I heard a notification sound and read the message from Lydia at the speed of light

“I fucking hate u. Here is her address”. Few seconds later I saw an attachment with the exact location of y/n. I ran out of the house and got into the car. I don't care if she's in another town right now. I set y/n’s location as my destination in navigation and was on my way. Two hours later I stood with a bouquet of white roses in front of her door. My legs were shaking and my hands were sweating. I felt stuffy so I knocked on her door. Millions of thoughts circled in my head and just a fraction of a second later she was standing in the door crying.

“ I asked you not to look for me” she said

“ Please let me explain everything. I can't live without you anymore. I understood that I love you. Please let me in “ I whispered and she opened the door wider. I smiled with tears in my eyes and handed her the flowers. As soon as I crossed the threshold y / n she closed the door and I fell at her feet crying like a little baby.

“Stiles please stand up” she said

I shook my head and snuggled against her skinny legs. "I can't live without you. I can't lose you again. I care too much about you. please give me a fucking chance. You don't even know how damn I miss you. Please…” Y/N knelt in front of me with tears in her eyes and put her hand on my cheek. I couldn't help myself and kissed her. She almost immediately kissed me back and smiled. We both knelt in tears in front of each other, unable to utter a word.

“I love u” she whispered and my heart stopped for a while. I felt darkness before my eyes and the last thing I remember is her sweet face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi guys!

This is the final and last part of “Only love can hurt like this”. Hope you enjoy it. Also I’d like to take a minute to thank my beautiful best friend Katie for helping me out with that part ❤️ I love you boo

#stiles and lydia #stiles stilinksi x reader #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #stiles x you #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brian icons #scott mccall #incorrect teen wolf quotes #teen wolf stiles #stiles stilinksi icons #stiles stilinski fanfiction #stiles x derek

[canthelps]

Summer North's incredibly personal Fouth Album-A Little More Time- is OUT NOW! listen here

Happy Birthday @lcvewaslcst

Song explanations under the cut

The Alcott (The National and Taylor Swift)

summer wrote this after the meeting with their lawyers and going to the bar together. its the surprise that molly still wants anything to do with her, about how difficult it is for her to be with her after she knows shes hurt her so much. she doesnt want to get ahead of herself, because she still thinks that shes unworthy of mollys love. “how many times will i do this and you’ll still believe?”

Sunshine Baby (The Japanese House)

written while they were starting to get back together. shes worried that shes gonna fuck it up again but all she wants is just to be back with her wife and its all she can focus on. she just wants life to be easier “well ive gone a little crazy, surely someones gonna save me. i dont know whats right anymore, i dont wanna fight anymore”

I Love You but I Need Another Year (Liza Anne)

much darker sound, written in the depths of the break up. about how she broke up with molly because of her own mental health. she doesnt know how to deal with her mind. “you’re sticking around but how can you stand it? I can’t salvage your mind while im losing mine. and nobody should have to deal with this. but i need you i dont wanna leave you” Also a sick song live because she gets to show off her guitar skills and headbang. probs a fan favourite live. the whole thing sounds like a panic attack

Emily I’m Sorry (Boygenius)

Called Molly I’m Sorry (obviously). An apology song to molly, pretty obvious. she’s sorry for what she did. she shouldn’t have done it. she loves her too much. written a few weeks after the lawyer meeting/the bar. summer coming to terms that she could come back “im twenty seven and i dont know who i am but im becoming someone only you could want”

A Little More Time (Role Model)

Is about summer struggling being in LA, far away from her home and family. Molly is the only thing holding her to LA, so when they break up she doesn’t quite know how to feel about it. Its about her realising that the only thing that will make her love LA again is being with Molly. “in a city with no seasons, in a house thats not a home….am i permanently broken, or is it just the sunshine blues?”

Bad Idea (Girl In Red)

They hooked up while broken up. its literally just about that. they should not be booty calling each other when theyre broken up and trying to figure things out but they do. its a banger and the fans love it. summer wasn’t sure about putting it on the album bc it makes it sound like she cheated. but she and molly both know thats not true and thats all that matters. also the use of darling links back to the previous album

Big Star (Lorde)

another song about how she doesn’t deserve molly. summer does refer to herself as a cheater in this song but once again she never cheated on molly! just a lovely song about how amazing molly is and how much summer loves her. ignore that the original is about a dog. its romantic. “toss up if its worth it every time i get on a plane. i’ve got so much to tell you and not enough time to do it in” was probably written before the break up. when her downwards spiral was starting

Not Strong Enough (Boygenius)

I DONT KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MAN. literally its just summers mental issues getting in the way of her being happy lmao who can relate! was written on the same day as sunshine baby bc shes what? TALENTED.

Gemini Moon (Renee Rapp)

another song about how summer believes she is actually the worst!! anxious avoidant attachment who? no its just her gemini moon. “i bet youre sick of it, believe me so am i….but really i should just be better to you” honestly this one is a maybe for the album but ive been working on this playlist for months and i want to get it done

Anti-Hero (Taylor Swift but the Keaton Henson Version)

do i really need to say it? its me hi im the problem its me?

Everything (Muna)

shes helplessly in love with molly and everything is about her even when theyre broken up. was written deep in the break up when all she could think about was her wife “four hundred and counting and my only question is how would you feel if one was me. would you wish we made love again, would you want to revisit the marks on my skin, cause the world could be burning and all id be thinking is how are you doing baby”

Show Up (Samia)

its a song for her fans, about how no matter whats going on in her life she will always show up and perform for them as long as they still want her to

#yes i went a bit extra with the tracklist but!! #summer has many emotions and its an important album #ship: summer and molly

[ladydorian05]

Jonathan's girl

I know, the title is somewhat deceiving, but it kinda makes sense.

Holy shit, this took a while! But here it is, second day of the Ronance appreciation week. I had an idea and it was going well but by the end the part with the argument I was kinda half-assing it and don't even know if that part makes sense. Anyways, this is kinda like a song fic but I don't really like placing the lyrics of the song all over the fic, you'll only see them once right at the beginning.

Thank you, thank you, thank you @made-ofmemories for Beta reading and for helping me with that part close to the end when I got stuck!!

This is a long one btw. Brownie points if you notice the reference at the end.

Hope you enjoy!

Jonathan's girl (Ao3)

Day two (dec 6th): songs & lyrics/angst

Inspired by: Jessie's girl - Rick Springfield

Warnings: None

Thought are in Italics and between this guys: ' '

Word count: 3,534

Robin is in trouble. She’s in big, big trouble.

It’s been so long since she last identified with a song so strongly, but this Rick guy has managed to describe her predicament accurately in about 3 minutes. She doesn’t know if he wrote it from experience, but the song makes her feel like she’s not alone, like he get’s it.

For she has fallen for the girlfriend of one of her friends.

And now she can’t stop listening to the song over and over again, this kind of self-inflicted torture went so far that she even made a tape with just that one song so that she doesn’t have to rewind over and over again and ruin her tape, Nancy’s tape. By now she knows the lyrics by heart, she could probably sing it backwards if she tried. God could she even be more pathetic?

I wish that I had Jessie’s girl

Where can I find a woman like that?

‘Nowhere!’ She screams inside her head, ‘Nowhere, because there’s no one like her!’

“-bin, Robin!” she gets startled out of her mental pity party by Steve’s voice, his hand on her arm shaking her slightly to get her attention, “Are you okay? I’ve been calling your name for a minute or so.”

“Sorry, I’m a bit distracted. What’s up?”

“The tape you were rewinding, it’s ready, it’s been ready for a while.” Oh shit! Right, she’s at work. Fuck, she needs to pay attention if she wants to keep her job. “Are you really okay? Hey, I can cover for you if you’re not feeling well.”

“No, no, I’m alright. Healthy as a horse!” She says, grabbing another tape to rewind, or so she thought.

“Uhuh, so why are you trying to rewind the same tape you just finished rewinding?”

“Shit.” She sighs heavily.

“Come on Rob, talk to me. What’s going on?” Steve asks, he’s making that worried, sad face. The one that makes him look like a kicked puppy. What the hell, she decides. Steve’s her best friend, she trusts him more than she has ever trusted anyone in her life, plus the store is empty, not a soul in sight. She just hopes this won’t cause a rift in their friendship, she doubts it, but she can’t help but think about the worst case scenario.

“Okay, so I’m gonna say it, as it is. I like this girl and I’m so screwed. She’s my friend but she’s so funny and smart and such a badass, that before I realized it I began to like her and I thought ‘oh that’s fine, it’d be weird to be friends with someone and not like them’ and then before I noticed I had this small crush on her, I have a crush on her and it just keeps growing and growing every time I see her, every time I spend some time with her. But she’s straight Steve, she has a boyfriend! ”

“I thought we had established that Vickie likes boobies? You kinda hinted that she was bi, like me, or I think that’s what you meant. I know you wouldn’t out someone so tell me if I misunderstood, and didn’t she also tell you that she broke up with her boyfriend?”

“Steve, Steve no! It’s not her!” she shakes her head.

“Not her!? What!? Since when? I thought you guys were hanging out, that you were getting closer.”

“Things didn’t work out with her, she’s still my friend, that’s all, friends, friendship.”

“Damn, I’m sorry Rob.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine.”

“Wait, but if it’s not Vickie, then who?”

“I’ll tell you, but first you have to promise that you won’t hate me after I tell you or let this come between us.”

“What? What do you mean? There’s no way I’d ever hate you, not for real. Why would you even think that’d be possible?” Where does she even begin to explain!?

“Promise you won’t hate me first, you haven’t promised.”

“You know I won’t!”

“Promise! You gotta say it or it won’t count!”

“Alright, alright! I promise, I promise I won’t hate you after you tell me who this mysterious girl is.” 

“Pinky promise?” She offers her pinky to Steve.

“For fucks sake, Rob, yeah I pinky promise.” He interwines their fingers for a moment, letting go after they make their hands go up and down like a handshake.

“Alright, okay, you promised, you can go back on your word.” She combs her fingers through her hair, a habit she picked up from Steve himself, “Okay, so it’s-” 

And just as she’s about to tell him, their conversation is interrupted by the chiming of the bell that signals the coming and going of customers every time the doors open.

“Hey guys! How’s it going today?” Shit.

“Hey Nance, this place’s been dead all day long, so we’re bored as hell.” Shit. Shit. Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit. Shit!

“Hi Robin.” Nancy greets, she’s in the same position she was in before Nancy arrived, her back to the front door and thus to Nancy.

Steve sends her a confused look, that could only mean that she’s been silent for too long. ‘Get a grip of yourself Buckley!’

“Hi Nancy!” she turns around so fast that she almost trips with her own foot, she catches herself with her hands on the counter. “Hi, hello, hi.” she says smiling, she’s sure she probably looks high with how big her smile feels.

“Hi,” Nancy says again, giggling, she does this little adorable thing where her head slightly ducks down as she moves a strand of hair behind her ear, her beautiful blue eyes looking up to Robin. “So, I was wondering if we’re still on for movie night this friday.” It’s not fair that she’s so, so beautiful all the time.

“Yeah, of course. Right, Robin?”

“Uh, what?” She turns to look at Steve who is now standing beside her to her left, his eyebrows raised, his eyes shuffling from Robin to Nancy and back to Robin, “Oh! Yeah, yeah, movie night. This friday, at Steve’s. I’ll- We, we’ll be there.”

“Umm actually I was hoping we could hang out at mine, Mike and the others have a sleepover at Will’s, my parents and Holly are leaving earlier in the day to Indiana, Holly convinced them to take her to this play. And now that dad got a new tv they let us keep the old one in the basement, we’ll have the house to ourselves.”

“Great, that’s great, sounds great!” seems like she can’t make a sentence without repeating one word more than once today.

“Fine by me, have you told Eddie?” Steve asks.

“Not yet.”

“I’ll tell him about the change of plans.”

“Good, I still need to tell Jonathan and he can let Argyle know, if I hurry I’ll catch him before his break ends, see you guys, bye Robin!” Right, Jonathan, Nancy’s boyfriend, Nancy’s boyfriend who’s also Robin’s friend.

“Bye.” Robin says dejectedly as the bell chimes again when Nancy opens the door to leave. She’s such an asshole, such a bad friend. She watches as Nancy drives away from the parking lot. Away from her.

“Oh. My. God.” Steve says, “It’s Nancy, it’s Nancy isn’t it?” Sometimes,  she really hates how much Steve knows her so well.

“Yes.” She lets out a sigh, “I didn’t mean to. I don’t even know how it started. I just- And she’s just so- I’m so screwed.” She folds her arms on the counter and lets her head fall on them. “Remember that you promised no to hate me.” she mumbles.

“Rob, there’s no way I’d ever hate you.”

“But you liked Nancy, she was your girlfriend!”

“You said it, liked,” Steve laughs, “it’s been so long since we broke up, I told you we talked it out, we care about each other but that’s it, we’re friends.”

“Okay but it still doesn’t change the fact that she has a boyfriend, and Jonathan’s so nice, he’s such a good guy I can’t even hate him even if I am kind of jealous of him. And we’re friends! What kind of friend falls for their friend’s girlfriend!? I suck!”

“Come on, don’t be so hard on yourself, no one can really control who they fall for. And I actually think they’re no longer together.”

“What makes you say that?” Robin asks, turning her head to stare up at Steve from her place on the counter.

“She was totally making a move.” 

“What? Hey I’m grateful that you’re trying to make me feel better but feeding me false hope won’t be of any help dingus.”

“I’m serious!”

“Did you hit your head while checking the inventory again?”

“Hey, it was one time! And no, I know it because that whole-” Steve says imitating the way Nancy had placed her hair behind her ear, “Ducking her hair and making eyes at you is a classic Nancy move, she flirts like that. And did you notice how she was looking at you the whole time?”

“No way, there’s just no way. No, nope, won’t let myself have hope.” She lifts herself from the counter and walks to the cart with the returned tapes to keep checking which ones need to be rewound, from experience she knows it’ll be more than half of them. “Listen, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

She grabs her walkman from under the counter and places the headphones on her head.

“Okay, I’ll drop it for now. But Rob, I’m telling you, there’s something there.” She hears Steve say just before she hits play and the voice of Rick Springfield slightly mutes everything around her.

– – – – – – – –

Steve brings it up again, because of course he does, in the following days. He’s so adamant about her not losing hope and trying to convince her she actually has a chance.

She might just believe him, until one day she sees them.

They’re outside of Melvald’s general store. Jonathan and Nancy. They’re leaning on Jonathan’s car, they seem to be talking cute with each other, lightly shoving each other teasingly. She’s about to walk up to them and say hi, she knows it’ll hurt, but they’re her friends, it’ll be rude of her to get in the store without greeting them; and then it happens. Jonathan places an arm around Nancy's shoulder and brings her in for a hug, he also whispers something to her before kissing the top of Nancy’s head.

‘Not together anymore, yeah, right.’

She turns around and hurries back home, completely forgetting what she needed from Melvald’s

– – – – – – – –

Friday night arrives sooner than she had hoped.

She almost calls to say that she wouldn’t be able to make it more than once, but then she’d have had to talk to Nancy and she’s not sure if she’d be able to lie to her. And so here she is, biking to the Wheeler’s house.

Steve had called earlier to let her know that he wouldn’t be able to pick her up, that he’d be late. Something about their only other coworker calling in sick and Keith asking him to cover the closing shift, she knows he’s walking on thin ice when it comes to Keith and that extra cash is always welcomed, but she really had hoped he’d be here with her.

Argyle’s van is nowhere in sight, neither is Eddie’s, which means she’s probably the first to arrive. Weird considering it’s already half past the time they’d agreed to meet. Which means she’d be all alone with Nancy until the others arrive. Hopefully Steve will be here in 10 or so minutes.

“Okay, okay, you can do this Robin. You’re just hanging out with a friend.” She tells herself, knocking on the door that leads directly to the Wheeler’s basement. “A friend that just so happens to also be your crush…great.”

“Coming!” comes Nancy’s muffled voice from the other side. “Robin! Hi, hi, good to see you.” Nancy greets her, all smiles.

She’s wearing a light pastel pink cardigan over a simple white shirt, a pair of washed out jeans and the pair of socks Robin got her last Christmas. Her hair is all fluffed up and combed to the side. She looks so cute. Then again, she could be wearing a potato sack and Robin would still think she looked cute.

“Don’t just stand there, come on in!” Shit, shit she was probably staring! “You can take your shoes off if you want to.”

“Hi! I uh, seems like I’m the first.” She says awkwardly as she toes off her converse.

“And the only one.”

“What?” Robin asks, turning to look at Nancy who is now sitting on the couch by the corner and going through some VHS tapes. “What do you mean the only one?”

“Well, Jonathan and Argyle forgot about movie night and already had plans when I talked to them and Steve called just before you arrived, said something about a closing shift, Eddie showing up and a surprise date or something like that. So it’s just us.” 

“Oh, cool, cool, cool.” Robin says, bending down to distract herself by pretending to arrange her shoes by the door. ‘Steve you traitorous little bastard, I’ll kill you the next time I see you!’

She knows that if she doesn’t want Nancy to ask questions, she’d have to sit on the same couch, beside her. It’s going to be a long night.

They end up watching Aliens: the return, they’ve seen it before but they both agree that Sigourney Weaver is awesome in that one. Robin is fidgety throughout the movie, she even jumps once when Nancy offers the bowl of popcorn to her in the middle of the movie. Nancy doesn’t mention it, either she didn’t notice or she maybe thought it was because of the movie. She even leans on Robin’s side, letting her head rest on Robin’s shoulder.

“What should we watch next?” Nancy asks, taking the VHS out of the player.

“Umm, maybe I should go home, I biked here and it’s getting late. With everything that’s happened I don’t really like going out alone when the sun goes down.”

“Oh. Yeah, of course, it’s understandable.” Robin swears Nancy sounded disappointed for a moment there before she comes up with a proposal. “Why don’t I drive you after? I usually go to bed late so I think we can squeeze in another movie!” Of course, leave it to Nancy and her brilliant beautiful brain to come up with a way to keep Robin from leaving alone in the dark.

“Oh, okay, then what do you want to watch?” They end up watching a romcom and Robin actually manages to relax enough that she actually enjoys the movie and they end up commenting and laughing at the character’s decisions.

By the time Nancy drove her home she was back to her normal self, singing along to the Madonna, Joan Jett and Fleedwood Mac mixtape playing on her car. 

“Well, this is me, thank you for driving me home, I’ll just get my bike from the back.” Robin is about to open the door and get out of the car when Nancy says her name.

“Robin,” She says quietly, almost nervous, so unlike her, “did I do something to bother you?”

“No, no, why do you ask?”

“You’ve been acting differently around me for a few weeks now and sometimes it’s nice, sometimes you have this big beautiful smile and your eyes get this shine on them.” Nancy says fondly looking up at the roof of the car, as if she’s conjuring the image in her mind. “But others… other times you’re all nervous and fidgety, it reminds me of that time when we sneaked into the psychiatric hospital, and I know you were so uncomfortable then. Or you look so sad and I would just hate to be the reason why you’re feeling like this. So please, tell me if I did something wrong.” She’s looking at her, searching for an answer in Robin’s eyes.

‘Oh, oh my. She noticed. And she thinks she did something wrong.”

“No, no Nancy,” Robin blinks rapidly and shakes her head. You haven’t done anything wrong, Believe me if anything I’m the one to blame for my own shortcomings.”

“Shortcomings? Robin wha-”

“I’m the weird one, always have been, I’m sorry I made you feel bad for something that wasn’t- isn’t your fault and I know I can be-”

“Robin, stop! Don’t talk badly about yourself. You’re funny, and cool, and so smart. You decoded a Russian message with little to no knowledge of the language!” Nancy turns in her seat to face Robin, she lifts her hands to hold Robin’s face in them. “And you’re so lovely, I love spending time with you. And  I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you!”

There’s a deafening silence inside the car. Both of them were staring at each other with wide eyes.

“Wha-”

“Wi- with your voice, I’m falling in love with your voice, yeah.” Nancy says. Robin feels like she’s looking at her and not looking at her at the same time. Like Nancy is having some kind of argument inside of her head.

“That, that’s not what you said Nancy.” 

“I, I know.” Nancy sighs, removing her hands from Robin’s face. She already misses their warmth. “I’m sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. This isn’t how I wanted to confess, I wanted to wait, to be sure that even if you didn’t feel the same way we could still be friends, that I wouldn’t lose you.”

“But, but Jonathan…”

“What about Jonathan?” Nancy asks, confused.

“You know, Jonathan.” She still looks at Robin like she doesn’t understand why she’s bringing Jonathan into the conversation. “Your boyfriend!”

“My What!? No, we’re not together anymore.”

“You’re not?”

“No. Robin, we broke up months ago. We’re still friends, but that’s it.” It feels like a fucking revelation, all those days, those weeks… 

Robin starts laughing, she feels unhinged, it’s something similar to how she felt back in 1985, sitting on the floor of the mall’s public bathroom laughing so much with Steve Harrington after the effect of the drugs wore off and she came out to someone for the first time in her life.

“You’re, you’re telling me,” She says through her laughter, ”that all this time I’ve been kicking myself and feeling like trash and like I’m the worst friend in the world for falling in love with my friend’s girlfriend…And they aren’t even dating anymore!? I’ve been listening to freaking Rick Springfield non stop to kick myself even more and- and” And then Nancy’s hands are back on her cheeks, and then there’s something soft caressing her lips.

 And then, Nancy Wheeler is kissing her. Nancy Wheeler is kissing Robin Buckley.

Robin closes her eyes and melts into the kiss, she places her hands on top of Nancy’s, she’s kissing her back, she knows she’s clumsy, this is her very first kiss after all. And it’s also the best way anyone has used to shut her up.

They part slowly, reluctantly, Nancy licks her lips with her tongue, she follows the movement with her eyes.

“Wow.” Robin whispers. Nancy is smiling, and somehow she looks even more beautiful now. “So, you- are you okay with this? With me liking you?”

“More than okay.” Nancy says with mirth. “Who do you think asked the guys to not show up for movie night?”

“Wait, you planned it?” Robin gasps, “I thought Steve did it on purpose, he’s been telling me to just- just not give up. That asshole actually made me bike all the way from my house to yours!”

“Well, I asked Jonathan not to show up and he told Argyle. I was going to ask Steve to do me the favor but he called first, like I said something about covering a closing shift and Eddie.”

“Eddie showing up I can believe, I’ll give him the benefit of doubt about the other part until I can speak with Keith.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, processing what just happened. She’s still holding Nancy’s hands, but they’re now in the space between them.

“So, Rick Springfield huh?” Nancy is the first to speak, “By any chance, is Jessie’s girl the song you’ve been listening to?”

“Yeah, busted.” Robin looks at her sheepishly.

“Hmmm, it’s a good song.”

“It is.”

“Well, now that Jessie, I mean, Jonathan is not in the picture… May I kiss you again?”

Robin’s face lights up with a smile. 

“You may.”

She ends up going inside her house only to come back out a few minutes later, a backpack with a change of clothes and some toiletries slung on one shoulder. Nancy drives them back to her house and they spend the rest of the night talking, and kissing, there’s so much kissing until they fall asleep.

From then on, she only listens to Jessie's girl when Nancy plays the whole tape. She doesn’t even know what happened to the one she made. And she doesn’t care, because at the end of the day, Nancy is Robin’s girl and Robin is Nancy’s girl.

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#ronanceweek #ronancedaily #ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #nancy wheeler x robin buckley #ronance fic #stranger things #st fic