#I mean. I’m not gonna be like ‘don’t copy my tags into your tags’ bc it’s not even my mutuals who do that

[ashes-writing]

devil | scream 4 ; c.walker

A/N; so listen up kiddos. Recently I watched Jack Goes Home and this.. It sent me down a Rory Culkin rabbit hole. And naturally, this led me to rewatch Scream 4 for probably the bajillionth time, holy shit. Look, this is just something weird, something a little... dark.. that came to my brain. If weird, kind of spicy and wildly inappropriate are not your cup of tea then this post is probably not something you'll want to read. In the spirit of all my late posts, this too is a reader fic. Because things seem to flow better that way. aka when i get my nerve up to post some of my oc fics on here it's over for my ass bc they're gonna flop hard lmaooo. But anyway, another reader fic. This time with Charlie Walker from Scream 4.

Tag List ; @schizoauthoress is the only person on my horror tags rn. If you'd like to fix this and be added to it, please by all means.. Click the link below.

Pairing ; Charlie Walker x Troublemaker!Fem reader, listen there is no other way to say this. Reader is.. a handful.

Summary ; The last thing you expected was to find yourself in the supply closet in the back of the classroom with Charlie Walker. When this happens, things get a little spicy.

Warnings ; for now, there are only vague hints that he's stone cold crazy and planning to slash bodies or in liason with Jill. As dark as it gets is him going on an internal rant about the mistakes Billy made and how those got him seperated from Sydney. Beyond the slight air of darkness / murdery hints, there's making out in a semi public place, swearing, panty theft, almost a fight / bullying situation between Reader and Kirby and Robbie Mercer being both a conscience and a cockblock simultaneously.

Other Stuff ; tag list doc || rules + fandoms and some of the characters I write for || requests ; open, any fandom but pro wrestling with headcanons / nsfw alphabet and fluffy alphabet letters only please and thanks.

I do not consent to having my work reposted. I also do not consent to having my work rewritten / copied and changed to be reposted.

“Listen, I’m just saying… Virgins are always the first to go. The virgin is never the final girl. So if you want to live through this killing spree? Get laid. Do it now.. Screw the logic that says virgins live to the end because they don't I mean... Look who just died, there's the proof...” and as she says it, Kirby Reed settles back into her  desk. 

You roll your eyes to yourself a few rows away before smirking and speaking up. “Just say you’re a whore and go already, Jesus christ.”

You know it’ll start a fight but honestly, you don’t care. Because it’s Monday and Kirby fuckin Reed is already giving you a headache. You’d rather be anywhere but Woodsboro High to begin with, so the two combined and prompted you to look for a little spice. A way to make your Monday more interesting.

“Aw, look… It’s the girl who wants to be me so bad she can taste it.” Kirby barely looks at you. The jealousy in her tone might be missed by you, but Jill and the other girls pick right up on it. All Kirby has bitched about all weekend is how Charlie Walker is always following you around like some stupid little puppy lately. And she got angry as hell when Jill pointed out that she was upset, therefore, this meant she was jealous.

“In your dreams, bimbo.” you retort, twisting your hair around your finger. “I’d really rather not have to play pin the tail on the STD. How many are you up to this month, hm? Three? Four?”

She’s on her feet in seconds and you’re not a stranger to fisticuffs, so you don’t waste any time getting on your feet either. You’re pulling the big silver moon earring out of your ear as she starts your way and you smirk when Robbie Mercer grabs her. The only problem with this is about the same time Robbie Mercer grabs hold of her, you find yourself thrown carelessly over the shoulder of Charlie Walker.

You kick your legs, briefly flashing the entirety of the class behind you with the tear on the inside the leg of your favorite pair of fishnets and the faintest split second flash of deep black lace when your kicking sends your skirt flipping upward and shows your panties and the curve of your ass. 

You pound on Charlie’s chest and midsection with your fists and you squeal out in mock horror, “Unhand me, you asshole! I’ll bite, damn it!”

Normally, Charlie Walker doesn’t say more than a word or two to you here and there unless there’s dire necessity. He’s too busy following Kirby around or doing Film Club things or the video yearbook with Robbie, his best friend.

So it catches you off guard when he glances over at you and smirks with a little shrug. “Is that an offer, princess?”

“It’s a threat, sleazeball!” you assert. When you actually do attempt to bite him, it’s his abdomen that catches the unholy wrath of your teeth and he’s rushing to put you on your own feet in a quieter corner of the classroom -which happens to wind up being the supply closet in back. All you can do is smirk in satisfaction as you tap your foot against the tiled floor.

“What? Why do you look so damned smug right now, hm?” Charlie leans into you a little. Studying you intently. A curious gleam in ice blue eyes. “Does chaos just make you happy or something?” he demands an answer as he studies you intently. Looking at you as if he’s seeing you for the first time and honestly, it feels like he has.

See, until recently, it was all about Kirby.

But then you caught his attention by a happy accident.

You were trying to fight Trevor because Trevor decided to play grab ass with you  at one of Emma’s parties earlier in the month.

You’d dropped Trevor like a bad habit with just one slight movement, a simple sweep of your leg. Then when he tried to wrestle you down onto the floor with him because he couldn’t handle having his ass handed to him by a girl who was maybe 5 foot even at best, you’d straddled his hips and proceeded to squeeze his throat until he was struggling for his next breath.

Since that night, Charlie Walker had  barely acknowledged Kirby Reed.. Not that you’d notice, you seemed to be completely oblivious to the subtle shift in his intent focus... But he tried to pop up near wherever you happened to be a lot more. Which proved to be handy when you did something stupid like eating a habenero in the cafeteria on a dare and nearly choking, which he prevented by hitting you on the back until you coughed it up only to walk away wordlessly.. Or when he caught you pulling the fire alarm earlier this week just because to quote you, if you had to sit through one more boring pep rally, you’d simply die on the spot. He’d picked you up over his shoulder when you tripped while trying to flee the scene of the crime.

You were excitement. You were breathing chaos. When he compared you to Kirby Reed, Kirby only had sex appeal going for her.

And right now, as he stood there staring at you, standing taller and right in your way so you couldn’t get to Kirby like you wanted, he was starting to see that the scale of sex appeal was tipping a lot more in your favor than hers too.

You were snapping your fingers in his face with an annoyed look in your eyes and that’s what brought him crashing back into reality. 

“I said move, damn it.” you repeat yourself for at least the fourth time.

“Not gonna do that. Nope.” Charlie answers, stepping into your line of vision to block it. You pout up at him a little and laugh softly. “Oh, I get it… You know if I get past you, I’m gonna rip off your pretty little girlfriend's face and wear it like a Halloween mask. You don’t want me to beat her til she’s ugly inside and out… Right?”

“Nope. Not even close, kitten. Not even in the same galaxy as the answer.” Charlie’s hand raises and he drags it through his hair. You swallow hard because the smirk that tugs at his lips lets you know that he saw you when your eyes followed the way his hand dragged through his hair. He steps closer to you. Close enough that there’s no distance left between your bodies. Close enough that the scent of cologne and cigarette smoke and whatever body wash he uses and just… boy, those all combine and make you bite your lip just a little bit. You frown to yourself. 

You try to focus on what he’s saying, anything but the way his lips move when he’s chewing you out or saying whatever you’re barely listening to at the moment. Or the way he keeps stepping closer. The way he’s staring at your mouth intently as he does it.

And then your back’s against the blackboard behind you and his hips are pinning you between his body and the blackboard. One of his hands raise and catches against the side of your face. As the pad of his thumb rolls over your skin you shiver and before you can censor yourself, you melt into him. Charlie growls quietly. His other hand slips around behind you, settling against your ass as he squeezes. The fabric of your miniskirt bunching up in his hand. You whimper and your hand raises, tangling in his hair as your nails drag softly over his scalp.

Neither of you seem to stop and think, oh hey, this is a classroom and maybe we shouldn’t do this. Neither of you are focused on anything aside from just how good what’s happening feels. When Robbie’s throat clears from nearby, you two spring apart. Charlie glares at the taller boy and takes several deep breaths.

“I came to see if you got the spitfire under control. Apparently, she’s going to corrupt you now.” Robbie taunts him and you laugh, pouting a little as a hand raises to at least attempt straightening out the way Charlie had started to mess with and tug at your hair. All you can really do is shrug it off but the look on Kirby Reed’s face when she catches sight of the two of you looking as if you’ve just been caught with your hand in the cookie jar and are being reprimanded for it, that angry gleam is worth it all.

Even if Charlie only did whatever it is he was about to attempt just to get you to behave even a little. Robbie wanders back into the main area of the classroom with everyone else and the door to the supply closet bangs closed behind him softly but the damage is done. The trance has been broken.

Charlie steps back up to you and dips his head down, resting his forehead against your cleavage as he takes at least three long and deep breaths and grumbles out in a voice muffled by your tits, “Jesus. I swear the guy could unintentionally fuck up a wet dream.” as his fists clench against your hips when he grabs hold to pull you completely against him all over again.

“Were you going to kiss me, Charlie?” you ask with the softest of giggles. Melting against him which gets you a warning growl and the slightest nip to the side of your neck as the warmth of his breath tickles your ear when he responds “Thought about it, yeah.” laughing quietly as he gazes up at you. 

“What exactly is stopping you?”

“We’re kind of in a classroom supply closet right now, babe. Look around.” Charlie gestures to the lack of proper ambiance and you shrug. “It wouldn’t be the riskiest place I’ve made out before.” but you smirk as you say it and Charlie’s prompt response is to jam his fingers into his ears while loudly humming because he doesn’t want to hear it.

See, he’s gotten it in his head. This all ends with him and you. Screw his little agenda with Jill. He’s gonna turn on her and this time, the grave error made by Billy Loomis in not keeping his girl at his side will not be repeated by him, the new slasher of Woodsboro.

If Billy’s taught him anything through years of idol worship, it’s that even your idols can fuck up. And this time, he doesn’t intend on it. If Billy had kept Sydney in the dark. Kept her in line. Kept her well fucked and love-drunk then maybe their story wouldn’t have ended in tragedy.

He just knows yours won’t.

After all, you’re built different than Kirby Reed.

Otherwise, he’d never have taken notice, fucked around and gotten obsessed.

In short, he fully intends to be the last guy those soft lips of yours -or any other parts of your anatomy, ever touch. One way or another and he’s fully prepared to eliminate the competition any way he has to. 

“Charlie, c’mon. You’re looking at me all dopey right now.” you’re pouting up at him with those big, beautiful eyes. Batting those lashes. He decides to do the opposite of what his idol Billy would do in this situation. Instead of being a dick about it, he leans into the sappy romantic shit most girls want to hear.

His finger drags across your lower lip. His forehead settles against yours. “Maybe it’s because I wanna kiss you and I’m barely controlling myself.”

“Then don’t, oh my god.” you whine, wrapping your arms around his neck. You lean into him heavy enough that his back meets the closet door and he braces himself to stop the damn thing from flying open and both of you tumbling out just in time. His mouth latches against yours around the same time your leg raises to his hip and his free hand -the one not tangled in and tugging at your hair, grips your thigh right beneath your skirt. “This what you wanted, kitten?” he asks the question in the sweetest, most lovesick voice he can muster. It’s not hard to do at all and that surprises him. He’s been faking normal for so long now that when something is natural for once and it comes easily instead of being a tedious chore, it throws him for a loop.

Your whimper as you rock against him and melt into him has him drawing a shaky deep breath when the kiss breaks for a split second. “Answer me.” he grips your jaw gently in his hand and you pout because he’s not kissing you anymore. “Well it was til you stopped…”

“Babe, c’mon. Are you trying to drive me crazy here?” Charlie questions, frowning at you.

The class is still discussing the latest murder to have been gone viral when the two of you slip out of the closet and back into your seats. You’re dripping. And before you left the closet, Charlie Walker ripped off your panties and pocketed them while giving you that calm smirk. 

He says he’ll come by tonight. He wants you to leave your bedroom window open. And while it’s everything you’ve wanted since middle school, there’s a part of you that can’t help but wonder if you haven’t just entered into some kind of unholy union.

Because there’s always been something a little different. Just a little off with Charlie Walker.

#charlie walker #charlie walker fanfiction #scream 4 fanfiction #charlier walker fanfic #charlie walker oneshot #charlier walker x fem!reader #charlier walker x fem!reader fanfiction

[travelbystarlight]

🍎🍌🍒🍓🔥 (love you 😊💕)

Ok but can this also count as the WIP tags since some of these are current?? lol posts under the read more bc they're kinda long lol

🍎 favorite angst quote from a wip

She still has her copy of the book. In every apartment or house she’s ever lived in it had a place on her shelf and nestled between the pages is a polaroid of the two from her senior year. Laying down on her floral bedsheets the two looked up as he held the polaroid camera up to capture both of them. If you looked closely you could see how his eyes ever so slightly were not on the camera, but on Morgan herself. From the therapeutic ST word vomit I wrote right after Vol. 2 dropped lol.

🍌 favorite funny quote from a wip

“I asked you to help me, not make it worse!” He playfully snapped back. “The way you’re coming at me feels like you’re gonna poke my eye out.” His eyes reflexively shut closed. Who would have thought that ‘mean and scary’ Eddie ’The Freak’ Munson would be so scared of a little eyeliner? What kind of metalhead punk was he? “I’m gonna if you don’t stop moving,” Morgan growled out. He looked a little pitiful to her. Eyes shut tight, a slight tear falling down his face. Oh boy, she thought before sighing. He’s so cute when he looks pathetic.

ST WIP 🍒 favorite sweet quote from a wip

“Don’t get too used to it.” She stubbed out her cigarette, almost down to the filter on the tree trunk the two currently leaned on. “Seriously man you gotta lighten up. Not like you to be moping around.” “What I can’t be multi-layered?” That received a playful punch from Morgan. Eddie laughed and flinched as the girl’s fist made contact with his arm. Eddie placed his arms up in a surrendering pose. He took another drag from his still lit cigarette. It was like flipping a switch, Morgan noted. It was like that forlorn, grumpy Eddie never existed, and standing instead was his old self, his normal happy-go-lucky self. A part of her envied him. The moment passed as his face fell slightly, not as moody as before but she could tell he was overthinking things.

You guessed it… ST WIP

🍓 favorite poetic quote from a wip

Tabitha always said that the world they would walk into would be desolate, barren without and plants or trees, but she had a habit of being wrong. Instead, their eyes were met with a world overflowing with beauty. Lush landscapes growing with life, bearing fruit. Joseph looked over to his wife and saw this world reflected in her. She looked up at him, her hand protectively clutching the swell of her stomach, her other hand intertwined with his own. He reflexively squeezed it, letting her know this was real.

A FC5 fic I abandoned a while ago but I enjoyed the writing.

🔥 wild card: dealer's choice of quote from a wip

Dana resisted her temptations and instead smirked back, trying her best to be nice. "Perhaps you have been mistaken,” she shrugged. "I'm just your simple, neighborhood con artist. Would you like to see what the cards have in store?"

You said dealers choice so you get a tiny bit of my Original story. And it’s all you’ll ever get. :)

#ask game #wips #ch: tawny mallory #ch: morgan kernow #ch: dana abrams #ship: something happens and i'm head over heels #ship: bathed in his blood #I know it says quote but you're getting passages bc I said so lol

[jtprojects]

Snake Game with JavaScript

Blog Post 2 – INTP-362

INTRO

Hello! If you came here after reading my first blog post (not necessary but it would be funny if u wanted to see my struggle) welcome back! It’s nice to see you again! If you diDN’T read the last blog post (the disloyalty smh /lh) hello! Nice to make your acquaintance!

If you aren’t aware what I’m doing here (tbh same life is definitely,,, A Thing™ for sure), I essentially ventured out to learn about game development in JavaScript (a coding language, often paired with HTML and CSS if you weren’t aware which is completely fair). I have previously had experience with JS in terms of website development but never really for game development. For the sake of this post and the catered audience, I’m just gonna assume that you know JS and HTML and CSS and all that jazz. If you don’t, my sincerest apologies (/s,,, kinda).

(The title of the game and display of the current score would be what is controlled by html and css while everything in the black box would be controlled in js)

MAKING DECISIONS

So, first thing I had to figure out which IDE to use. Now this wasn’t too hard of a choice, as I already have multiple different IDEs with options for JS, html, and css (by multiple I mean 2, the accursed netbeans and the modern and sleek vscode). For this project, due to its simplicity and familiarity, I chose vscode (I was gonna give a whole outline as to what vscode is but I’m not getting paid to do that so no thank you).

After getting my IDE decided and figured out, I had to find out what game I wanted to create. Of course, as I am overly ambitious (which I must admit is one of my fatal flaws) My initial idea was “hey, why don’t I make a short, simplified version of pokemon or a fighter game like mortal kombat or smash?” y’know, like a fool. While these goals may have been achievable if I had multiple months to do this and no sense of procrastination, it simply wasn’t possible to pull off unless I wanted to neglect my studies and focus solely on the game.

After hitting that miserable realization, I made up a list of games that I could make in the amount of time given and the amount of motivation I had inside of me (which,,, is not a lot actually). My list eventually came down to these games:

Snake

Pong

That one offline dino game on google

Tetris

and Flappy Bird

Now all these games were doable, however, when it came to applying the things that I already knew, I would have to choose snake. As I had learned previously (not in the last blog post tho) how to control the movement of a shape based from keyboard input and object collision and everything of the sort, snake seemed like the easiest option to me.

HTML

After creating the project, I immediately created all the files and game them appropriate names (tho they deffo could’ve been better but eH ‘twas a lapse in judgment). First thing after creating all the files was to set up the html page.

Just like any html page, I included the basic tags. The DOCTYPE, meta tags, title, a link to the css page and a script to the js page, a header with the extremely (/s) original title and a body with a div to show the current score and a canvas to allow me to draw in (canvas being the only new thing that has anything to actually do with my game).

CSS

Now I won’t bore you with the css details as most of it iS just setting the font, font colour, centering elements, placing elements side by side, and all that jazz hOWEVER, one thing that ig is really cool even though it’s not my original code bc in no way, shape, or form am I this cRACKED at css, would be the title.

(It’s the text colour animation effect on https://alvarotrigo.com/blog/css-text-animations/ )

DISPLAY WINDOW

Now here’s where it gets into the fun bit. The first steps to actually be able to do anything would be create the display and context. (Just for a little bit of unnecessary context, the code being presented is not in order of the actual project it’s just been copied and pasted to show you what I want you to see like those illusionists or something)

First thing we must do is create a grid in our minds. In this imaginary grid, each square is 25 pixels by 25 pixels, which has been assigned to the blockSize. Next we choose the dimensions of the display, I chose 20 blocks x 20 blocks. Then, as I had been taught in the past, we create the variables that are meant to hold the display information which is the width and height of the window and the context of the page just so that we can manipulate the window.

In the update function (the function that reruns every time the setInterval tells it to. This is the thing that I talked about last blog post that allowed for either a higher or lower fps.) we set the background colour as black using fillStyle and we draw the rectangle (square??? a square is a rectangle right?? geometry was rough) using fillRect. The first 2 values are the x and y of the top left corner of the display while the next 2 values are to set the actual size of the window.

Now, you may be like “hey, my guy, respectfully, you talked about display and setting the height and width and context and setInterval and actually drawing the window, but what about all the stuff in the middle? The change direction and foodRando and everything?” and to you, loyal reader, I say hush. It will all be revealed in good time impatient child.

DRAWING THE SNAKE

Next, we draw the snake.

Now just like the display, we get the X and Y of the snake head (obv not hardcoded bc we dO want it to move unlike irl). Next thing we add into the update function (don’t let the screenshot fool you this iS still the same update function as the last one). We also get the colour for the snake (I went fancy for this one and decided to do a hex code instead of just like,,, ‘green’ even though both would’ve produced similar results) and update the x and y of the snake based off of some things that will be talked about later on. We then continue to use fillRect again to draw the head of the snake.

Now the next bit is a bit more complicated then everything else shown previously (but if u know coding then its genuinely not that bad lmAO it just looks a bit spooky). In the for loop, we essentially create the variable i (you’ll see this bad boy a lot) and cycle through all the entries in the snakeBody to draw the rest of the body of the snake that way the snake’s body isn’t a fixed size. And can be increased depending on the entries in snakeBody.

 Next we have the for and if loop that’s placed before the snake display. The for loop is used when the snake is moving. Basically, every time the snake moves (and especially when the snake is turning) it allows the current section of the body to get the placement of the piece in front of it and replace it and moves down to the head which is placed using the if statement right after which is able to move (mostly) freely that way u can get those crisp 90 degree angles when your snake moves.

DRAWING THE FOOD

Finally, the last drawing piece, would be the food.

Just like all the parts before this, we start with initializing the variables that are to be used when finding the placement of the food. In the update function, we do the same thing we did as before, we set the colour using fillStyle and fillRect to place the food somewhere in the window.

Now finally, for the part that I told you guys to wait for, the meaning of foodRando. What foodRando does is that it finds a random place on the window using Math.floor to ensure that the number chosen is rounded down to a while number and Math.random to find that random place. The for loop is to ensure that the x and y coords of the piece of food isn’t inside the snake otherwise it reruns until it lands in an empty space. This is ran every time a piece of food is eaten and when the website first launches.

MOVING THE SNAKE

And now we talk about the other part of displayScreen that you were (or were not idk I can’t tell… or can I? No I can’t don’t worry you’re safe for now).

The next thing after being able to draw all these components to the window was to figure out how to actually move the snake. This is there the changeDirection comes into play. Inside displayScreen, we have an event listener which listens for when the user’s finger lifts off of an arrow on the keyboard, specified with ‘keyup’. Once that action takes place, the event listener runs changeDirection which takes in an event. in this event, we determine which key was pressed and move it according to the key that was pressed by changing vX and vY which is just the velocity. -1 in the Y variable means up while 1 means down. In the X variable, -1 is left and 1 means right. For both, 0 means just not moving.

But what is the && for? If you recall from all those years ago (it’s okay grandparent I get it ‘back in your day’ or whatever) the snake can’t  go from going up from going down immediately, same with left and right. This is because, if the snake were able to do that, it would just eat itself (and break its spine which isn’t really the best but who am I to judge) and immediately end the game. The && is meant to prevent that from happening. It’s a check to basically say “if you wanna do this, first we gotta make sure you ain’t doing the forbidden move”.

SCORING AND GAME END

Lastly (if you’re still here, hOLAY I’m barely even still here lmAO how do you dO it what is the sECRET?), dealing with collisions that cause the game end and keeping and increasing score.

For this last stretch, we state the variables for keeping score and ending the game, score and gameEnd. If you recall from the very beginning in displayScreen and in the html, there was some part with score in it. document.getElementById(“score”) is taking the variable from the js file and displaying it in the html so the reader gets some sort of validation beyond their snake getting longer (firstly, haha innuendo don’t look too deep into it. secondly, talk ab parental problems or something lmAO just like me frfr).

Next in the update function, we have the first if condition. In this condition we’re just specifying that, if gameEnd, the variable used to tell if the user has lost or not, is true, we end the game and restart using history.go (that’s something new that I learned I am but a tiny child) the page to allow the user to play again. The next if we have is to recognize when the snake has become fed and increase it’s size (like chickens to the slaughter) and increase the score. Once we have done that, we rerun foodRando, generating another piece of food.

 Finally, we enter the game end conditions. The first if statement is used to identify whether the head of the snake has hit the wall (like the tiktok sound or something idk). The for statement after that is recognize that if the head of the snake hits another part of the snake, that means it’s game over. For both, it recognizes game end by changing gameEnd to true and then sending an alert to the user (with a kinda mean message I’m sorry but not really) informing the player that they had lost the game.

CONCLUSION

In the end, this game was fun to make! I think if I were to go back and restart the game or add additional features, I would include things that I wanted to but was too overwhelmed to add like a menu where you can choose your display settings or maybe just a whole different project as this one seemed a bit simplistic and easy :P. While coding I realized just how similar this is to java or any coding language really. Truthfully, the only difference would be that of drawing the shapes and figuring out logic behind collisions and the syntax but everything else: the if and for statements, the functions, and logic behind everything is still the same. I think that was why I would’ve appreciated if I took on a harder game or task but, in the end, it was pretty fun to play with.

THE FINAL PRODUCT

Now since you’ve all stuck with me for so long, here’s your reward: a gif demo of the actual game being used :D (if you want access to the full project, I have my github linked :) pls don't judge my abysmal snake skills).

#programming #coding #codeblr #javascript

[merrrrrrrrry]

hiiii 🫶🏻

that sounds like so much fun!! it’s so cool that you get to do that for your internship and that you enjoy it so much!!

so i was studying accounting but to start i was doing like a bunch of business classes and the law class i took was super introductory and focused primarily on contract law (i think) and so that’s how i was able to take it even though i wasn’t studying law!! i still don’t understand why my professor wanted us to go to a hearing as part of our final but it was interesting regardless 🤷🏼‍♀️

as for the tumblr edits i looked through your tag and i think they’re really nice!!! that sounds super frustrating honestly. it’s horrible to be so enthusiastic about something and have the people essentially running it not put in the effort to keep it enjoyable for everyone 😔

oooh i’ve never heard of that before, what is tiffin? it’s nice that you got to enjoy lunch with a group of good people!! and i love that for you!!! a good sandwich is always a bright spot in any day 🥹

it sucks you’re having trouble with the book and completing the review, but i’m sure you’re doing a good job regardless!!! hopefully it’ll all get easier along the way as you become more familiar with your area of study 🫶🏻 you were able to get into your program without any preparation so you must be considerably more prepared and capable than you feel right now 💗

okay some things about me..genuinely would spend every waking minute doing crafts if i could. like i don’t even care what i’m doing i just like creating things 🥺 my favorite drink is genuinely so boring i just really like water dhshshs like 9 times out of 10 if given the choice of drinks im gonna pick water! as for music i try to listen to a lot of different genres but i generally stick to pop (mostly bc 1d and the boys are pop-y) and then whatever like 4/5 songs im obsessed with!

good luck on your assignment, im sending you all the spare energy i have 💗💗

-✨holiday pal✨

(i hope this sends okay because i wrote it out in my notes app and copy pasted it bc it was getting incredibly long djshshs)

Hellloooo 💕💕

I'm so so so so so so sorry for the late reply

I do the same thing of writing in notes and copying here sometimes 🤣🙈

That's really cool. Contract law will be introduced as a subject to us this coming semester. I could talk to you about it!

Yeah, just today the posts I made which they approved was supposed to be posted and a few hours before posting time, one of the seniors suddenly had a problem with it and I had to do one of the things all over

Tiffin! Omg I keep forgetting it's such an Indian thing. So this is the Wikipedia definition - Tiffin is an Indian English word for a type of meal. It refers to a light breakfast or a light tea-time meal at about 3 p.m., consisting of typical tea-time foods. In certain parts of India, it can also refer to the midday luncheon or, in some regions of the Indian subcontinent, a between-meal snack.

For me midday luncheon is the best word for it. You'd eat breakfast at home, then have tiffin during break time at school and come back home and have lunch. But right now I'm working the whole day, so i take my lunch with me to court in a tiffin box(mine is just like an off-brand Tupperware kinda thing) and that's my tiffin.

I had Poha today in the morning and chicken curry and pulao for lunch. Sunday special!! What about you?

Thank you so much for that. I pray you're right and i finish my work on time. "Tumhare mooh mein ghee shakkar". It literally means may your mouth be full of ghee and sugar but actually it means what you said was very sweet and may what you said come true.

Water is my favourite drink!!! Oh god, I love water. And I love analysing how different the tastes of water in different places are, not out loud, just to myself.

I admire people who do arts and crafts soo so much. What kind of crafts do you do? The max that I can do is cross stitching.

Have a beautiful day 💕💕💕

#✨holiday pal✨ #merrranswers

[starbuck]

the whole debate over ‘prev tags’ is so weird to me bc 1) I loved it as soon as it sprung up and am hugely flattered by people saying it about my tags every time 2) the suggesting of tag-copying as a “politer alternative” is very ?????????? to me bc I write my tags so personally that I really prefer not to have them copied into somebody else’s tags as if they wrote them, even if they add an indication that they were copied to the end. Like. I guess it’s so that that person’s followers don’t have to do the extra step of clicking back to my blog to see what was said but idk… it just makes me uncomfortable. And I guess the alternative to both of these things is just adding the tags in question onto a post directly but i’m not comfortable adding tags onto posts that aren’t mine so, to me, ‘prev tags’ is the perfect solution and, to each their own, but I just don’t see the issue.

#I mean. I’m not gonna be like ‘don’t copy my tags into your tags’ bc it’s not even my mutuals who do that #and it’s not That Important #but i Do wish people wouldn’t do it #adding them to the post is usually fine although I do get a bit nervous when it’s a post I’m not OP of #bc I know how it feels to have tangentially-related tags added to a post I made about a Specific Thing #and it can be very frustrating #so I’d never want anybody to be annoyed at me for my tags ending up on their post #but again - it’s probably not that deep - I just have a lot of Fear lol #but yeah prev tags is just the Ideal Solution to all of this in my mind and I don’t get why it’s controversial #it’s giving complete and total credit by just having people go to the source #again tho - I have respect for everybody’s opinions #i just don’t personally get the issue

[metalbuckaroo]

Hi! So from the prompt list, could you do the 44th dialogue prompt where reader and roommate!Bucky are talking and bucky just keeps falling in love with her more and more but reader is oblivious to his flirting bc she doesn't think anybody wants her and while they are talking and bonding one evening they fall into the category of relationships as the topic of the conversation (sorry if it doesn't make sense, english isn't my first language)

Bad Night

Summary: After a bad date, Bucky offers his help.

Warnings: Some angst, lil fluffy, pretty cheesy, mentions of sex,

AU: Roommate!Bucky x reader

AN: After 3 days I'm finally letting this go. Not very sure how this got so long, but part of me wants to make a part 2 if that would interest anyone.

Prompt from this list. Requests are always open, reblogs and feedback are appreciated.

MASTERLIST

"Hey, dollface, can you look at something for me?" You heard Bucky call, his footsteps getting closer to your room. "If it has to do with your testicles, then no. I will not."

He stopped in your doorway, eyes wide as he looked you over. "Oh, wow. Where you going? Got a hot date you didn't tell me about?" He teased, walking further into the room.

"Yeah, hopefully this one actually goes decent. Now what do you need?"

He turned so his back was to you and pulled his shirt off. "This place on my scar is all itchy. Does it look irritated?"

Until that day you had came home early from work to Bucky standing in the kitchen shirtless. He had expected you to immediately look at the cluster of scar tissue on his shoulder and never see him the same. Instead, you had just greeted him like any other day; a warm smile that made his heart melt before blabbering about your day and asking him about his.

This hadn't been the first time he'd asked for you to inspect a spot on his jagged scar. Although for the first month he'd make it a point to cover it, not wanting to freak you out.

That's when he got more comfortable, walking around without a shirt or just in a towel after a shower. When your smile started making his heart melt even more than before.

You touched your fingers to a small red blotch on the spot where dark metal met skin and he shivered slightly, goosebumps forming on his skin. "Yeah, it is a little. Try putting lotion on it."

He sighed and turned to face you, looking down at your dress. "Who is this guy? Do I know him?" He said cocking an eyebrow at you. "I tried that stupid dating app you suggested." You exhaled, shrugging your shoulders.

Narrowing his eyes at you, he shook his head. "You're not going." He said folding his arms across his chest. You raised your eyebrows and copied his actions. "And whys that?"

"Because, I should've never told you to try it. Dating apps are full of weird people." He muttered, going over to your dresser. "Murderers, stalkers, creepy cat people."

He opened the drawer and pulled out some clothes to stuff into your hands. "Which is why, you're staying in with me." He smiled, sparkling white teeth flashing at you.

Rolling your eyes you put the clothes back in their spots. "If I don't go on a decent date for once, I'm going to end up a creepy cat person. Besides, not all cat people are creepy. Mrs. Lawrey is really nice."

"She's an exception." He nodded, following you towards your bedroom door and down the hall. "If it makes you feel better, I'll text you if he starts acting creepy."

He huffed a breath and grabbed your shoulders, spinning you around to look at him. "Fine, but, that means I get to come rescue my girl if he does."

You felt a slight blush creep your neck and moved away from him to slip your shoes on. "You're just saying that, because I pay half of the bills." You said, opening the front door.

"And you cook pretty good. Now, go on. Be safe." He teased, swatting at your backside as you walked out into the hallway. "Try not to break anything, please." You told him on your way down the hallway.

"Not making a promise I might break."

_____

The date had went horrible, one slip up and he said a few choice words to you before calling a cab to leave.

You swiped your fingertips under your eyes to erase any sign of crying before you got to your front door, wanting to avoid Bucky at all costs.

"Hey, dollface. Back already?" He said from the living room. "Yeah..." You mumbled back, trying to make a break for your bedroom to change.

Bucky could tell something was wrong by how you weren't rambling about everything that happened. "Oh, no you don't. Get back in here."

You exhaled and turned back around to look at him. "What, James?" You sighed, walking closer to where he was sat in a recliner. "What'd he do?" He said, narrowing his eyes at you. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"You're crying, I wanna know why. What'd he do?" You rolled your eyes at his stern voice and shook your head. "Just didn't go very well." You said, sucking in a deep breath.

They never did. As soon as you let one little fact slip, they'd high tail. You would've been better off staying home like Bucky had suggested.

Bucky's voice broke you from your self pity. "C'mere." His hand reached out to grab your wrist and tug you closer. "I'm not sitting on your lap, that's weird."

He scrunched his nose up and shook his head. "Doesn't have to be. Stop being a brat and let me comfort you."

Once you were sat on his right thigh with your side against him, he wrapped his arms around you and leaned his head back against the chair. "This should be our new bonding method. Feels like we're getting closer by the second."

You teetered your head back and forth, pressing your lips into a thin line. "Maybe because, I'm on your lap. That's pretty close."

A soft pat to your thigh and he was looking directly at you, blue eyes dancing back and forth in curiosity.

He wanted to know what made you so sad and torn up about one stupid date. "Tell me about it?"

You took another deep breath and he lifted his head so you could slip your arm behind his neck. "Every single time I go on a date, they mention sex. As soon as I tell them I'm a virgin they're gone. Tonight's was just extra rude about it."

His eyebrows creased together, hand moving to your knee. "You're a virgin? How?"

You looked at the ceiling, tapping a finger to your chin as if you were thinking. "Hm, could be from never having sex." You said the most obvious answer.

"No, I mean-" he huffed a laugh and gestured a hand over you. "Look at you."

You pinched his side and he narrowed his eyes at you. "I thought we told each other everything?" He mumbled, his lips turning down into a frown.

"No, James. You tell me everything. I don't tell you near as much." You said patting his chest, the chain of his dog tags cool on your palm. "You don't have to, I know a lot just by paying attention." He said, giving a nonchalant shrug.

"Now, explain, miss goody-two-shoes. Why hasn't anyone popped your cherry?"

You looked to your lap and pursed your lips. "When I was younger I never felt the need to lose it. Now, I can't seem to find a guy who doesn't want to have sex on the first date. I'm not losing it to someone I barely know."

When Bucky stayed silent you looked at him, he was chewing on the inside of his cheek and you could see the gears turning as he looked at you.

He wanted to offer his help, but didn't want to scare you away. That was the whole reason he hadn't said how he felt over the past couple of months.

Although, he wasn't sure how you never noticed. How you hadn't noticed the lingering touches and looks, everything he'd say.

You had waved it off as mindless flirting because that's how he played it off; as him being a flirt without any serious intentions.

"You're being quiet and it's weird. Say something." You said flicking the tip of his nose. "I'll do it. If you wanna lose it, I'll do it. I know a lot about you."

"Buck-" you shook your head, trying to wrap your head around what he was saying. "You can't be serious." You said breathing a soft laugh.

He nodded and his hand on your knee moved to the back of your thigh.

You felt heat rush to your cheeks as you looked at him, his strong features completely serious. "I'm gonna go to bed. Its late."

Just like Bucky thought would happen, he was scaring you away. "Wait- no, come back." He said as you pulled out of his grip and stood.

You shook your head and cleared your throat. "Nope, not coming back. I know you don't mean it because... You're Bucky and you say shit like that all the time, so..." You inhaled deeply and started towards the hallway. "I'm gonna go get ready for bed."

Bucky stood from the chair and followed after you. "Sugar, wait." He grabbed your wrist gently and tugged you towards him, nearly crashing you into his chest.

In a sudden movement, his hands held your cheeks and his lips engulfed yours, the abrupt motion causing you to stumble a step back; your hands flying up to grip the sides of his shirt.

The kiss was slow and deep, the taste of his minty toothpast flooding your tastebuds when he slipped his tongue pass your lips.

He pulled away after a moment, looking at your shocked expression. "I mean it."

#roommate!au #roommate!bucky #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barnes self insert #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fluff

[cinnaminsvga]

Hug-o-gram | Yoongi

→ summary: 

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font. 

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious. 

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K → a/n: another commission by the lovely @jincherie​ because she’s epic like that!! she literally just told me to write whatever the hell i wanted and well... yoobie got me Good... anyway here’s more yoongi fluff bc apparently i’m a fluff writer now and sometimes i just want my boy to be happy... appa yip yip

Kim Seokjin makes a lot of good decisions. He also makes plenty of bad ones, but he likes to think the score is lying heavily towards the positives. Min Yoongi will be the first one to quickly disagree, but Seokjin doesn’t let it get to him. He doesn’t make it his business to listen to opinions that don’t immediately align with his, anyway; he likes to call it “selective hearing.” Yoongi calls it stupidity. Either way, the point still stands: Seokjin knows a good idea when he sees one. Case in point:

“This automatic popcorn machine is absolutely divine,” Seokjin moans, his mouth agape as he waits for the Mister Popcorn Robot to bestow him with another morsel of goodness.

“Yeah,” is Yoongi’s verbose reply. He also has his mouth agape, his prone body lying side by side with his roommate of four years in their small living room. Their roomba (another one of Seokjin’s good ideas) cleans all around them, its steady whirring serving as their only source of background music. “Lowkey though, I think our position isn’t quite… as optimized as it could be.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks, as he drapes his leg over Yoongi’s. His movement jostles the surrounding popcorn halo around them, as most of the food had missed their mouths by a couple of centimeters. At this point, the roomba has probably eaten more of the popcorn than the two of them combined.

“Nothing,” Yoongi shrugs, or whatever might be the lying down equivalent of a shrug. Some of the popcorn on his chest falls down, only to be quickly devoured by roomba-chi. Yoongi stares at the ceiling, tracing shapes out of the cracks that Seokjin had accidentally made when he tried using a pogo stick indoors. He points up, catching Seokjin’s attention. “Hey, hyung. Doesn’t that look a bit like Y/N?”

Seokjin squints. “You mean the mysterious brown stain near the lights? I think the toilet from the elderly couple upstairs might have leaked that.”

“No, you dipshit. The squiggly curve over there. It reminds me of her smile.” Yoongi says. There’s a stupid dopey grin on his face and Seokjin wants nothing more than to wipe it off.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Seokjin groans, turning over to envelop Yoongi in a sweaty half-armed hug. The buttery residue on his arms and stomach leaves something to be desired, but Yoongi doesn’t scoot away. He only continues to sigh dreamily, staring mindlessly at the image of you that only his lovelorn brain can imagine.

Seokjin slaps Yoongi in the face. “Dude, get a fucking grip,” he grouses, giving Yoongi a serious look. The younger doesn’t break out of his trance, further irritating him. “Will you stop pining in front of my popcorn? It’s seriously making roomba-chi lose her appetite!”

To his credit, roomba-chi did seem to be slowing down, though that could also be because it had overloaded with popcorn and was seconds away from exploding. Wouldn’t be the first time, but Seokjin always managed to find a way to save roomba-chi from imminent death. She was like a daughter to him.

“Hyung, you know I can’t. I just… God, I really like her, you know?”

“That’s the third time you said that within the last hour. Believe me, I know.” Seokjin groans, shoving Yoongi away. He sits up, reaching over to the popcorn machine and switching it off. He grabs a fistful of fallen popcorn from the ground and shoves it inside Yoongi’s mouth. “There. That should shut you up.”

“Aw weawwy wike hew, hwung.”

“And yet, you still haven’t done anything after four years,” Seokjin tuts, finally standing up. He stretches his limbs, his joints creaking youthfully. He grabs his phone from the coffee table, nearly dropping it from the butteriness of his fingers. The clock reads 4:32 PM, which means–

“Yoongi, it’s time for me to head to work. You want to come with me today?” Seokjin asks, though he knows what answer he’s going to get. You see, Seokjin’s new booming business is another one of his fantastic ideas, but it is a little... inventive. Sure, Yoongi had scoffed when he had originally suggested the idea, but Seokjin knew that it was going to be a money-maker. Sure, it had taken a few years for the business to really take off, but once it finally did…

Enter Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service! Students from his university are able to send anonymous payments directly to him, with little notes attached for their crushes. Each love letter delivery comes with a hug from Seokjin himself, delivered straight to the person without them ever knowing who the hug came from. It was ingenious! It was lucrative! But most of all…

It allowed Seokjin to cause drama and have an excuse for it! Nothing could have been more perfect for a man like him.

“No thanks,” Yoongi snorts, rolling over to face him. He watches from the floor as Seokjin changes into a butter-less shirt, which also happens to have his own face printed on the front and back. His trusty cardboard sign that reads “I’m Gonna Glomp Ya!” also joins his attire for the afternoon, a long piece of string tied to its edges so that he can wear it around his neck. Throwing on a pair of white sneakers with the tags still attached, Seokjin is ready to tackle today’s list of would-be hug-ees.

“How do I look?” Seokjin asks, combing his hair with his fingers. It leaves an oily sheen, which he somehow makes it work.

“Ugly,” Yoongi says, like a liar.

“It’s okay, I understand. I can speak tsundere, so you don’t need to explain,” Seokjin snickers, nearly getting hit with a TV remote by Yoongi. He opens his phone again, swiping to his e-mail to see his list of hug deliveries for the day.

Seokjin gets around 10 requests a day, with around half of them coming from regular clients. He’s especially fond of this boy who has been sending hugs to his TA named Namjoon for almost a month now. He has no idea why this kid has so much disposable income, though seeing the blush on Namjoon’s face everyday makes Seokjin think that he would spend every last penny for him too. Namjoon had begged Seokjin for his secret admirer’s identity, but snitchin’ isn’t a part of his service, unfortunately.

As much as Seokjin wants to know who is crushing on who, his little business wouldn’t work as well as it did if anonymity wasn’t included in his package deal. It allows people to thirst in public without facing the repercussions, like getting a knee to the groin or a slap to the face. Not that Seokjin has ever been at the receiving end of that; everyone loves him! Like, have you seen him? He must have saved a civilization in the past with how devastatingly beautiful his forehead is.

“Why am I suddenly filled with the relentless urge to deck you right now?” Yoongi says, getting up to change into clean clothes as well. His black t-shirt unfortunately does not have Seokjin’s face on it, but that can quickly be amended if the elder of the two decides to follow his every intrusive whim.

Seokjin laughs, completely unaware of the murderous capabilities of his friend. Due to his smaller body size, his percentage of evil is unusually concentrated. “Maybe it’s because you know that I’m into pain pla–” but Seokjin’s retort suddenly grinds to a halt. He chokes mid-sentence, coughing wildly as he pounds his chest with a balled-up fist. When Yoongi looks up at him, he finds his hyung staring slack-jawed at his phone, seemingly flabbergasted by what he finds on his screen.

“What’s the matter? Accidentally sent a dick pic to your prof again?” Yoongi snorts.

“That was one time! And no, it’s…” Seokjin trails off, uncharacteristically hesitant. He shifts his gaze from his phone to Yoongi, a drop of sweat quickly forming on the back of his neck. Yoongi raises a brow, silently urging him to continue.

Instead of replying, Seokjin hands him his phone. Yoongi finds a copy of one of Seokjin’s newest hug requests, only having just received it five minutes ago. As he scrolls down, he finds that this secret admirer is a new client, but that isn’t what made Seokjin stop in his tracks. Instead, it’s the recipient of the hug that catches his attention–

“Y/N has a secret admirer?” Yoongi says, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, trying his best to school his face into something less… jealous. He swivels away from Seokjin, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. He convinces himself that he is the very epitome of calmness.

“You okay there, Yoongi? You look like you’re about to vomit,” Seokjin says, immediately breaking his inner peace. Yoongi groans loudly, shucking the phone over his shoulder, uncaring of where it lands. Seokjin, with his superhuman and God-given reflexes… doesn’t catch it. But he did dive to the floor like a seasoned Olympian, and his ass cushioned his phone so he supposes that’s a win.

Back to the matter at hand––

“I am fine,” Yoongi says, as he continues to not be fine.

From the floor, Seokjin shoots him a disbelieving look. He lies down more comfortably, propping his head on his elbows. Screw his hug-o-gram appointments for now; nothing brings him more joy than seeing Yoongi absolutely losing it. “Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I marched up to Y/N right now and give her the warmest, coziest, most tender hug of her fucking life?”

“Y… Yes,” Yoongi squeaks, neck glowing a furious red. He has his fists clenched (adorably) by his sides, head bowed as he faces the wall of their apartment. Seokjin’s brain makes the unhelpful comparison of Yoongi with that cat meme who says “no talk me angy” in Impact font.

Seokjin grins, his wickedness from within coiling and yearning to burst from his seams. This is it! Maybe if he pushes a little more, then maybe Yoongi will stop pining like a pathetic loser! Also, it didn’t hurt that he got to push Yoongi’s buttons while he’s at it, but hey! Not all heroes go to heaven or whatever.

He grabs his phone from his ass, scrolling back to the e-mail. “So… You wouldn’t mind if I walk up to Y/N right now and tell her ‘Hey! I’ve had an embarrassingly long crush on you and when I heard about this hugging service… I couldn’t miss the chance to shoot my shot! If you’re single and ready to #mingle, then please meet me at the Corner Cafe at 2 PM tomorrow.’” Seokjin sing-songs, snickering loudly when he sees the absolute pain etched onto Yoongi’s face.

There is a pause, and Seokjin waits as Yoongi uses his tiny kitty brain to think of what to do. He can only imagine what’s going inside his head, but he has a guess. Yoongi could either: 1) finally admit his feelings for you and come clean before Seokjin has to deliver your hug, or 2) do something stupid and counterproductive.

It comes as no surprise when Yoongi goes with option number––

“Hyung, let me come with you to work today,” Yoongi decides, walking over Seokjin’s prone body to their shoe rack. He slides into a pair of sneakers, his harried movements unusual for his customary lethargicness. He grabs a coat from its hanger, stomping his feet to get Seokjin to move faster. “C’mon! We have hugs to deliver.”

“Woah woah woah! Slow down there, Simpimus Prime.” Seokjin gets back up to his feet, skipping over to him. An absolutely feral grin is stretched upon his face. “Am I hearing what you’re saying? Are you offering… to deliver hugs with yours truly? Are you finally going to take up my offer to be an employee at Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service?”

“Of course not,” Yoongi scoffs, but his shifting eyes betray him. He fidgets in place, refusing to return Seokjin’s eager gaze. “I just… wanted to go out for once. Yeah.”

“Yoongi.”

“What?”

“You haven’t left this apartment other than to go to class in over a month. You never go out. You’re an indoor cat!”

“I’m not a fucking cat,” Yoongi hisses, like a cat. “And of course I go out! There was that one time I went outside to pick up our food delivery last week.”

Judging from Seokjin’s unimpressed stare, Yoongi’s excuse doesn’t cut it. Yoongi flaps his arms around, defeated. “Okay, fine! I rarely go out! Screw me and the bounteous crapload of assignments I have due! It’s not my fault I don’t have the time to socialize and have fun. What do you want from me?”

What Seokjin wants is to push a confession out of Yoongi, not because he needs the confirmation, but mostly because he just wants to annoy Yoongi and say “I told you so!” He’s also pretty cute when he’s all blushy and tsundere whenever he talks about you. Should he film him and sell the footage on eboys.bb? He’s certain that goth boy over here would make a pretty penny.

“You like krabby patties, don’t you Squidward?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Yoongi sniffs, nose upturned. He opens the door, not looking behind him to see Seokjin’s triumphant expression. “C’mon. Y/N’s last class of the day ends in a few minutes and we might catch her before she leaves the Science Building.”

Seokjin snorts. He is quick to slip his own coat on and he follows soon after. He locks their door shut, hopping over to Yoongi and matching his shorter-legged pace. “Yeah. Because you totally just know her schedule at the top of your head. You know, like a normal person.”

Yoongi ignores him. He trudges on, each step filled with determination as they make their way to Seokjin’s beat-up truck. Seokjin skips alongside him, observing the younger boy and placing bets inside his mind. The drive to campus isn’t that long as it only takes around 10 minutes to get there, but Seokjin guesses that Yoongi’s defenses will begin to chip away only 3 minutes into the drive.

He’ll start to realize the gravity of the situation, the cogs in his smooth and slushy excuse of a brain slowly comprehend what he’s about to witness. He’ll first think about how 1) he’s going to see you and that never helps his poor dainty grandpa heart and 2) he’s going to see you hugging Seokjin as he reads to you the short love confession from your anonymous Romeo. Seokjin bets that after 8 minutes, Yoongi will start to break out into a sweat, leaving gross perspiration marks on his good car seat leather.

After exactly 7 minutes and 34 seconds (Seokjin was keeping track of the time on his dashboard), Yoongi’s face turns an unflattering shade of green. “Dude. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Yoongi had originally offered to drive the two of them to campus, but Seokjin had the good foresight to refuse. Had Yoongi been the one on the wheel, he would’ve brought them back home in an instant due to nerves. So instead, Seokjin speeds up, ignoring Yoongi’s soft whimpers of defeat.

“Too bad, but there is no turning back now. I have six deliveries today and I am not putting my livelihood on the line just because your balls have magically shrunk in size,” Seokjin snickers. He glances at Yoongi from the corner of his eye and feels the slightest touch of pity for the pathetic fool beside him. “But if it really makes you want to shit yourself from anxiety, we could save Y/N for last. Though, on second thought… That could also prolong your misery, which I will always be up for.”

“God, shut up,” Yoongi groans, slamming his head on the dashboard. Seokjin continues undeterred as he pulls into the campus parking lot, waiting for his friend to make up his damn mind for once in his life. He supposes that he is being a little harsh on Yoongi, but there are only so many sad love songs he can listen to without going completely insane.

Aren’t you tired of being nice? The demon on his shoulder cajoles, shoving the corpse of his angel counterpart somewhere down a ditch. Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

And who is Seokjin to deny his impulsive needs anyway?

“No, let’s… just get this over with,” Yoongi decides, head still smushed against his dashboard. He doesn’t make any move to get out of the car, not even when Seokjin shuts off the engine and makes a show of “leaving” Yoongi behind.

“Okay, lover boy. You have ten seconds to get your butt into high gear before I’m leaving you behind. And you should know that I’m not above playing dirty and giving Y/N the sweetest fucking hug of her life that will make her forget anyone else exists in this world, so you better start moving before I–”

Like lightning, Yoongi scrambles out of the car faster than if it had caught on fire (and Seokjin’s car has exploded before and Yoongi certainly did not seem as bothered to escape than he does right now.) He nearly trips over himself in his haste, getting caught by the car door and nearly receiving a concrete facial to boot. He straightens up with as much dignity as he can muster (which he doesn’t have very much of, if at all.) Seokjin is kind enough not to mention anything, but the shit-eating grin on his face is enough to make Yoongi bristle.

They exit the parking lot, looking to the world like the sun and moon had turned human for the day. Min Yoongi, with his all-black attire and gaunt appearance, is heavily juxtaposed with the man who appears to have been vomited on by a rainbow. They walk side-by-side together, accustomed to the stares that often come their way when they go out in public.

“I just can’t believe we’re doing this,” Yoongi moans for the umpteenth time, his movements stilted like a robot. His footsteps look heavily disjointed like his knees were beginning to rust. His arms swing like a pendulum, adding to the unnaturalness of his motions. Basically, he looks like a fucking idiot.

“Who are you calling an idiot?” Yoongi snaps. Seokjin startles a bit, realizing belatedly that he’d said that out loud. Not that he cares. Yoongi continues, “I’m not the one wearing a fucking cardboard sign that looks like a toddler made it with macaroni and glitter!”

“Hey, Taehyung told me it looked good,” Seokjin sniffs, fingering the macaroni pieces dejectedly. “I don’t need to hear an opinion from a Music major.”

“Shut up, Business major. No one likes you fucking snakes,” Yoongi retorts, crossing his arms. “Your definition of fun is going on LinkedIn and using Excel sheets.”

Distracted by their own quarrel, neither of them notice the sound of the large clock in the middle of campus that chimes every hour, signaling that it was already 5 PM. A few minutes later, hoards of students begin to leave university for the day, the walkways beginning to fill with people as they head home. Amidst the chattering and bustling of everyone trying to get out of the crowd, it is hard to notice that you are also one of the hundreds of people finishing your last class of the day.

But Yoongi notices, as he always does. Call it Y/N intuition, or whatever. “There,” Yoongi points you out over dozens of heads. Seokjin can hardly spot you, but he trusts Yoongi’s weird Y/N-dar to find you without fail. People have begun to notice the two of them, most of whom were whispering excitedly when they notice that Seokjin is in his work attire.

“Oh my god, someone’s getting a hug-o-gram! I wonder who…”

“Have you ever ordered one? I got one for my current girlfriend last month and that’s how we got together.”

“I’ve always wanted to send one, but the prices are insane! Fuck them business students and their capitalist ways.”

“Screw sending a hug to someone else! I wanna order a hug for me. Kim Seokjin is a hot piece of ass.”

(Yoongi swears the last comment had sounded eerily like Seokjin himself, but the older boy’s mouth hadn’t moved in the last minute.)

“Alright, Yoongi. Here’s the plan,” Seokjin leans closer to Yoongi, stage whispering into his ear. Everyone within a six-foot radius is eagerly eavesdropping, not even bothering to pretend that they aren’t. It’s common knowledge that Seokjin basks in their attention, anyway. Yoongi rolls his eyes, urging him to get it over with.

“Y/N is over there, right? Well, I have to send a hug to this guy named Mark Lee too, who just so happens to be over there,” Seokjin points behind them, in the opposite direction of where Y/N was heading, “so here’s my proposition. You go over to Y/N and deliver the hug for me, while I go catch up to Mark so that we can kill one bird with two stones!”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi wheezes, pushing Seokjin away from him. His eyes bug out. “Are you insane? I am not doing that. And the phrase is ‘killing two birds with one stone,’ you fucking idiot.”

“Same shit, Shakespeare! Who cares about numbers!” Seokjin exclaims, exasperated. “Listen, would you rather you hug Mark and I hug Y/N?”

“I would much rather prefer that I stick my whole fist up your anus,” Yoongi seethes.

“Interesting proposition, but maybe for a later time,” Seokjin says, not missing a beat. “Listen, dude. The longer we prolong this little bitchfest you have going on, the farther away Y/N is gonna get. You know I will stop at nothing to deliver her hug anyway, so would you rather you miss your chance right now when I am so magnanimously offering you a shot at getting closer to your crush?”

Even though Yoongi feels like his insides were slowly turning into mashed potatoes, he knows that he had already made a decision long before they left the house. Seokjin is right; this is a good opportunity for him, whether he is willing to admit it out loud. Perhaps it is just because it is Seokjin of all people who is egging him on that preprogrammed him into thinking that this was a bad idea. In all seriousness, it was just a hug, nothing fancy. It isn’t like Yoongi was going to have to kiss you––

(His heart contracts and Yoongi wonders if he’s having a stroke. The thought of your soft lips connecting with his is enough to cause the wind to knock out of his chest. God, Yoongi is so screwed.)

“Why must I always feel as though I am a snail and God is personally salting me,” Yoongi groans, stepping away from Seokjin and heading your way. Behind him, Seokjin hollers in what he assumes is friendly support, but it only further antagonizes Yoongi. The absolute buffoon waves enthusiastically from behind him, a beaming grin almost ready to split his face in two. Yoongi flips him off without looking back.

God fucking dammit. The closer that Yoongi is to approaching you, the stronger the urge to just evaporate like ice cream on hot concrete becomes. He can feel himself perspiring from every corner of his body and he just hopes that his black attire will do well to mask the slimy creature that he is underneath his clothing.

This is all Seokjin’s fault, Yoongi reminds himself. If he hadn’t started this stupid hugging service in the first place, then no one would have ordered a hug for you in the first place. Then Yoongi wouldn’t have to be in this stupid predicament either!

But you could’ve ordered a hug for her if you wanted to, says the annoying part of his brain – the same part that’s always been a little bit too hopeful for Yoongi’s liking. The whispers continue, And she wouldn’t even know it would be you! But more importantly…

“Seokjin wouldn’t know either,” Yoongi huffs irritably because he knows it’s true. The biggest thing stopping him from ever making a move on you, other than his debilitating fear of rejection and heartbreak, is the fact that he’d rather explode into spores than for Seokjin to find out that he’d used his “genius” business idea to get the girl of his dreams.

He’s afraid that one day, Seokjin would magically develop telepathic powers (a fear that Yoongi feels that the majority of the human population should also share) and find out that Yoongi doesn’t actually think his hug-o-gram service is dumb. It’s actually really cute, and Yoongi hates to admit that the success rate of his service is nearly perfect in terms of getting couples together.

But Yoongi is a strong (read: stubborn) man; he’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin the satisfaction of seeing his business work out for his seemingly hopeless case. Which brings him to the present–

You’re standing by the entrance of the Sciences building. You are dressed nicely as always; Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever seen you in anything remotely slobby, not even a pair of sweats like any regular uni student. You always look a little bit business proper: the epitome of someone who should be on the student council.

You’re speaking to someone, a younger male student by the looks of it. The hairs on Yoongi’s neck stand at attention and, God forbid, did he just fucking growl? Did he make that sound? By the looks of the students carefully navigating their way around him, Yoongi surmises that he did make that sound. Geez, is he some sort of animal? Is he going to turn into those feral stan accounts on Twitter that salivate over their K-pop boys like it’s their job? He hopes not.

But what if that’s the kid who sent the hug–

Yoongi shuts up his brain before he can let it finish. No, he can’t let himself go down that path. It’ll only cause him to self-combust right then and there, and he isn’t exactly keen on letting you see his entrails anytime soon. That would be the least cool thing to do, he decides. And so, with his brain turned off, he walks over to you, arms swinging robotically by his sides as he forces himself closer.

“Oh thank you so much, Y/N! You’ve been a real help to our club, you know?” The boy (Yoongi can’t believe they’re letting toddlers into university these days!) says, his eyes glittering with an ambition that still hasn’t been killed by the all-consuming dread that comes with university.

You laugh lightly, the sound causing butterflies to flutter excitedly in Yoongi’s chest. “No worries, Soobin. I’m glad I could be of help. If the editorial board needs any more help, don’t be shy to shoot me a message, alright?”

Soobin nods enthusiastically, his head bobbing up and down so quickly that Yoongi was afraid his neck would snap. “No worries, Y/N! Have a good rest of your week!” He waves a cheery goodbye, springing away with his numerous anime keychains on his backpack jingling softly in his wake.

“What a cute kid,” you sigh. You look incredibly fond, and Yoongi hates the bitter coil swimming in the pit of his stomach. That feeling soon fizzles out when you finally turn to face Yoongi. Your eyebrows shoot up, but your expression quickly morphs into one of pleasant surprise. Yoongi’s heart stops for just a moment, feet turning cold. “Yoongi! Oh my goodness, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen you! How’s it going?”

Let’s play a game, shall we? How many of Yoongi’s nervous ticks can you spot within the next five minutes? Think of this as the easiest game of Where’s Waldo ever!

“Hnng,” Yoongi stammers, his hand immediately going to scratch the back of his neck. His cheeks pinken, pupils shaking in every different direction as they try to focus on anything but you. It always feels like he’s standing way too close to the sun when he’s around you, hardly able to keep his gaze focused on you. He chooses to stare resolutely at your chin, but even your fucking chin was impossibly cute.

Seriously? Yoongi is a walking shitshow! His inner voice comes back, but this time it sounds uncannily like his roommate. Come on, buddy. Just say hi… You know, like a normal person. “H… Hey, Y/N.”

Success count: 1 point for the Yogurt Machine!

Even though Yoongi felt like he was living his worst nightmare, you still looked every bit like his favorite daydream. You are all smiles, seemingly unperturbed by Yoongi’s slow, embarrassing demise. “It’s so good to see you! Midterms haven’t been too hard on you, I hope?”

“I’ve been better,” he says. Better now that you’re here, he leaves unsaid. God, can you imagine if he said that out loud?

Your mouth drops open, soft cherry blossoms blooming across your cheeks. “Um, what did you say?” you squeak, embarrassed. But certainly not as embarrassed as the boy in front of you.

Yoongi stops breathing. He did not say that aloud, had he? Judging by the awkward silence stretching between the two of you, the signs are pointing to: yes. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygo–– “Er, what I mean to say is,” Yoongi stutters through his sentence, his entire body flushing fire engine red like it’s nobody’s business. He must look like Satan’s spanked ass right now. “I… I’m here to deliver a hug!”

Confusion quickly replaces the shock on your face. You tilt your head, brows scrunching up cutely. “A hug?” you ask.

“R-right,” Yoongi says, waving his arms around because he has nothing else better to do. He gestures vaguely in the opposite direction, where Seokjin had left to find his other clients. “I’m, uhh… Helping my roommate. Have you heard of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram service?”

“Oh, yeah!” You hop excitedly in place, looking to all the world like the cutest thing in the universe. Yoongi thinks you should be classified as a public hazard, what with how you’re somehow able to give him diabetes just from standing next to him. “I totally heard about that! I’ve always wanted to send a hug, but I’ve always been a little shy.”

That piques Yoongi’s interest immediately. You wanted to send a hug? But to who? He unconsciously clenches his jaw, and he can feel a vein pop up near his neck. He forces himself to smile, but he knows it probably looks more like a grimace. “Oh really? That’s… I didn’t know you had a crush on somebody.”

Yoongi is too busy wallowing in his own self-pity puddle that he misses the way you gaze shyly up at him through your eyelashes, your hands clasped behind your back. “Y-yea… I don’t really go around telling it to just anybody,” you shrug as nonchalantly as you can. You clear your throat. “So, are you here to deliver a hug or something?”

Nothing gets past you, huh? Yoongi swallows thickly as he twiddles his thumbs. He still can’t bear to look at you head-on, afraid that his emotions would be too obvious if he did. (Who is he kidding… He knows he’s fucking obvious, and yet you never seem to get the picture!) “Yea, I am. I’m here to deliver one to you, actually.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction, but he does notice the way your entire body stiffens. His mind immediately starts to run a minute, trying to guess why you’d suddenly gone stock still.

Did you know who your secret admirer was already? Or perhaps, were you just thoroughly shocked to receive one at all? That can’t be it… You’re the campus sweetheart! Surely it’s much weirder that it has taken eons for you to get your first hug… Or perhaps, are you so disgusted by the thought of him delivering the hug? Oh my god, what if you didn’t want him to hug you? Shit, this entire thing is a terrible idea! How did Seokjin ever convince him to do this stupid shit and get his heartbroken in the process? He swears he’s going to shove ten firecrackers up his ass the next time he sees him––

“Um, Yoongi?” You’re staring worriedly at him, your hand semi-raised as if you were about to wave in front of him. Did you say something? He must look like a fucking prick to you! He shakes his head, trying desperately to get his mind back into his body. Why must he be cursed with inner monologue disease? What is he, some sort of shoujo manga male protagonist?

“Sorry about that. I’ve been a little spacey these days,” he laughs, but even he can hear the panic laced in his voice. He sounds just on the edge of being hysterical. “Ahaha… What were you saying?”

“I was just… shocked?” You giggle softly, making Yoongi cry internally. You smirk, mischief glittering in your eyes. “I just never imagined you’d be the type to… I don’t know…”

“Willingly hug people for the sake of capitalism? I feel you,” Yoongi snorts, forgetting for a moment who he’s talking to. “Believe me, I’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin to use me for his stupid business venture.”

“Then why are you delivering a hug to me now?” you ask, still smiling.

“Hnng,” Yoongi’s tongue feels like it’s grown two sizes all of a sudden. He wheezes, choking on his own spit as he’s caught off guard by your question. “W-well, I––”

“Just being a good friend, I’m guessing?” You’re full-on giggling now, barely trying to hide your mirth behind your hands. Yoongi understands now; you’re teasing him. He hates how amused you are by his awkwardness, but he loves the way your entire expression lights up, like you’re enjoying yourself by being with him.

“Let’s go with that,” Yoongi mumbles, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. He has his head bowed, hoping that his unruly fringe can finally come in handy and hide the disastrous blush encompassing his face. “Right… I’ll just, umm…”

“Am I getting my hug today, or am I gonna have to take a rain check?” You laugh, slapping his shoulder in an attempt to help him shake off the awkward tension. It has the opposite intended effect, as Yoongi’s breath hitches imperceptibly at your proximity. You had taken a step closer, and Yoongi could smell the sweet perfume you always seemed to be wearing. Please don’t pop a boner right now. That would be super fucking creepy.

“You’re…” Yoongi hesitates, arms uselessly immobile by his sides. He doesn’t know if he can even get them to move at this point, as he has lost all motor skills the moment you had focused all your attention on him. It’s a miracle that his heart remembers to beat every so often. “I’m just… I’m just gonna go for it, okay?”

You nod, hands tucked neatly behind your back. “No need to be scared, Yoongi. I don’t bite,” you joke.

God, if you only knew about the dreams I’ve had of you. Yoongi hopes to all the deities from up above that he had not said that aloud, but you don’t seem to be disgusted, so he can only assume that his traitorous brain had disconnected with his mouth for the time being.

He shuffles closer to you, the warmth of your body closing in as he makes the grueling effort to lift his arms up to gently wrap themselves around you, but before he can even fully hug you––

You’re quick to reciprocate. With a small laugh, you wrap your own arms around his torso, nuzzling into his chest with more force than Yoongi was expecting. He lets out a soft wheeze, mouth dropping open when he is assaulted by the smell of your fruity shampoo. His hands hover awkwardly above you, still unsure of where it’s okay to touch you without weirding you out.

You tilt your face up, eyes crinkling cutely by the sheer force of your grin. Both of your faces are only centimeters away from each other, and Yoongi could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired. His breathing stills as he becomes positively mesmerized by the beautiful sight in front of him. He doesn’t even hear the sound of phone camera shutters around him, as he is much too deeply focused on nothing but you, you, you.

“Hey, don’t half-ass your hug! Gimme a good ol’ bear hug!” you whine, nudging his elbows gently to get them to move. Snapped out of his reverie, Yoongi mechanically does as you say, his head completely empty of thoughts. He wraps his arms tightly around your shoulders, his wrist knocking slightly against the back of your head until you’re back to snuggling deep into his chest.

“Your laundry detergent smells nice,” you say, slightly muffled by his shirt. Yoongi lets out a breathy laugh, mostly out of disbelief more than anything. He can’t even begin to process anything right now; he feels like he’s reverted back into a single-celled organism.

“Thanks?” Yoongi squeaks, but you don’t seem to mind his awkward attempts at being a Normal Person™️. You crane your neck upwards so that you’re looking him directly in the eye. There’s a twinkle of mischief there, like you’re enjoying Yoongi’s flushed face a little too much. He honestly feels like he’s seconds away from exploding into tiny bite-sized pieces, and he fears that if you snuggle deeper into his chest, he might just do exactly that.

“So… Are we just supposed to hug for another ten minutes, or am I allowed to let go?”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize how long it’s been. You could’ve been hugging him for ten hours and he wouldn’t have known. Yoongi jerks away from you, nearly vaulting himself across campus by how quickly he lets you go. Thankfully, you don’t appear offended––you were more amused than anything. Yoongi has no idea how red he is right now; he feels like he could be blowing steam out of his ears, astounding anatomists everywhere by his peculiar talent.

“I just have to–” Yoongi pats his back pockets for his phone, clumsily pulling it out and looking for his text messages, “–read this message from your, um, secret admirer and then we’ll be good to go.”

“Great.” You nod at him enthusiastically. “Whenever you’re ready, Yoonie.”

Yoongi’s breath hitches right then, caught off guard by the nickname. Only you ever called him that, and it never fails to make Yoongi’s insides feel like molten lava every time you say it. “I… Yeah, here goes,” Yoongi mutters, trying his best to remember how to speak.

He recites the message with as much enthusiasm as he can manage, which is to say, not very much. He could probably read the phonebook with more zeal, but it’s hard to give it his all when the words feel like acid in his throat. He’s unconsciously clenching his jaw as he speaks, looking like a constipated gorilla. “...so, if you’re single and ready to #mingle, then––” Yoongi stops mid-sentence, staring resolutely at his phone screen with a grimace.

You blink confusedly. “Then?”

“Then nothing,” Yoongi finishes, pocketing his phone without an inch of remorse. “I don’t know what was up with that message, but somehow the letter got cut short. Sorry about that.”

“Huh, strange.” You shrug your shoulders, not bothering to question him.

Yoongi fist bumps himself mentally, though other people might disagree and say that he doesn’t deserve any type of congratulations, to which Yoongi says a big “fuck you!” to those imaginary haters. In the wise words of Kim Seokjin himself, “not everyone is worthy to receive your fucks, so it’s time to stop giving them.” (Kim, 2020)

“Well, that was fun! Thanks for delivering the hug to me, Yoonie,” you pinch Yoongi’s cheek, giggling when they turn even redder. “I’ll see you around, I guess? Don’t let those midterms kill ya!” You wave cheerily at him, walking past him and heading towards the bus stops. Yoongi stands frozen in place, the events of the last few minutes finally catching up to him and frying his brain beyond repair.

Oh my god, he fucking hugged you! Like, a good and genuine hug! You felt so warm and so soft and you smelled really good and it was more than he could ever imagine and just––

Yoongi’s brain is trying (and failing) to desperately parse the delayed barrage of information as it comes, but it’s hard for the little hamster running circles in his head when it has never had to run a day in its life. Yoongi’s body feels like it’s overheating even though the weather is nearing the start of winter, but that’s all thanks to you and the devastating effect you have on him.

In short, Yoongi machine has broken, and any sort of maintenance is going to be hard to come by at the moment.

Yoongi could have been standing in front of the Science building for an entire year and he wouldn’t have budged until a tornado in the form of Kim Seokjin arrived to knock him out of his brain dead state. Whistling lowly, the elder stops in front of the rigid mass of meat, an eyebrow quirked in exasperation. “Dude, nice rigor mortis cosplay. Like, yes girl, give us nothing!” he exclaims, slapping Yoongi back to consciousness.

Yoongi blinks rapidly, dazed like he’s woken up from a dream. “What? What’s happening?” he replies dumbly.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Yoongi. Did you finish delivering Y/N’s hug or what? I finished all my deliveries in the same time you had with Y/N, so I better hope to God you aren’t planning on applying to be an employee of mine, because you certainly have a long way to go before––”

“I hugged her,” Yoongi interrupts, eyes going glassy once more. His mouth is agape, and Seokjin can see a pool of saliva forming, ready to runneth over. He could see the rusted gears turning inside his dongsaeng’s head. “Oh my god, hyung. I fucking hugged her.”

“Yeah, and I hugged Taehyung Kim and felt his gigantic dick press into my stomach. You aren’t special,” Seokjin snorts, clasping Yoongi by the bicep. He drags him away, leading them to their parked car. “C’mon, Dampé. I’m tired and I wanna eat popcorn again.”

As they walk back to the parking lot, the campus roads are a lot less populated now that most students have gone home. Yoongi only then realizes how late it truly is and he vaguely wonders how long he had been stuck standing there before Seokjin had come to drag him back home. The sun has begun its daily descent, filling the courtyard with a warm glow and causing their shadows to grow longer as they trudge quietly to their car.

The campus is quiet enough that both of them hear the quiet buzz of Seokjin’s phone, despite him putting it on silent mode before he had gone on his hugging deliveries. He stops mid-step, causing Yoongi to bump his nose into his wide back. He yelps, shoving Seokjin forward in irritation.

“Why’d you fucking stop, you asshole?” Yoongi whines, his normal annoying personality resurfacing now that he’s begun to recover from your hug. He peers over Seokjin’s behemoth shoulders, squinting at his phone screen. “What? Another hug delivery?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow since I think she’s gone home for the day,” Seokjin says, his tone sounding slightly too delighted for comfort. “In fact, I know she’s gone home already.”

Yoongi stills, changing his focus onto the elder’s expression. He looks… too eager to receive a simple hug-o-gram request. A shiver shoots through Yoongi’s spine when he realizes how nefariously bastardous Seokjin’s smile has grown, the tips of his smirk curling upwards like a villain from a classic Disney animation.

“What?” Yoongi glares acidly at Seokjin, but the elder is unaffected. In fact, he seems to grow more pleased the more aggravated Yoongi becomes. “Spit it out! What’s got your prostate tickled?”

“Oh, nothing,” Seokjin singsongs, shoving his phone down the front of his pants, exactly where he knows Yoongi would never touch. “Just got an interesting new regular customer, is all.”

“A new regular?” Yoongi’s pitch heightens, the hairs on the back of his neck bristling in alarm (like a cat.) “Is it… Another request for… You know who?”

“I wasn’t aware Voldemort went to our university,” Seokjin teases, thoroughly enjoying Yoongi’s distress. “Though, if you’re talking about Y/N, then the answer is not not not no.”

“Two double negatives.” Anyone could hear the audible soft rattling of his two brain cells exerting themselves as Yoongi deciphers his answer. “That means…”

Yoongi stares pointedly at Seokjin’s crotch, where the outline of his phone is glaringly obvious. “Show me,” Yoongi growls, not making a move to actually touch Seokjin’s nether regions.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. “No one’s stopping you from taking my phone though?”

“Hyung!”

“Buy me bubble tea first, then we’ll talk.”

“Fine,” Yoongi acquiesces, folding his arms in annoyance. “Just tell me. Is it really the same guy who requested the hug for Y/N today as well?”

Seokjin fiddles around for his phone, digging deeper when it nearly drops down the leg of his pants. When he pulls it out and swipes to his e-mails, he confirms Yoongi’s fear. “Yep. And it seems like he saw you deliver the hug today. Says that he’d prefer that I deliver the hug next time,” Seokjin smirks, enjoying the deep-set frown on Yoongi’s face.

When Seokjin takes a closer look at the order, however, he notices something a little off. “Hold on a sec,” he scrolls to the receipt, scowling when he sees the incorrect amount. “Well, you might be in luck, Yoongi-chi. Looks like loverboy sent the wrong payment. He’s a few dollars short.”

“What?” Yoongi says, for what feels like the tenth time in this entire fic. He grabs Seokjin’s phone, no longer repulsed by where it had been only a few minutes prior. Like Seokjin said, the customer had given the wrong amount, much to both their confusion.

“That’s weird, considering he just ordered a hug today,” Seokjin murmurs, shaking his head. “Oh well. Happens to the best of us. Guess I’ll just have to refund the poor sap.”

“Wait,” Yoongi presses the phone to his chest, preventing Seokjin from taking it. His hyung raises a brow.

“What is it?”

“What if I just… pay you the remaining amount? Then I can also deliver the hug to her and, uhh...” Yoongi mumbles the remaining part, but Seokjin has trained his ears to catch every whisper and mutter for moments just like this. He wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t perfect his eavesdropping skills to a spy’s degree. That’s right––Seokjin is a sloppy and nosey bitch and he’s not afraid to admit it!

“Oh? Do my ears deceive me?” Seokjin guffaws, pinching Yoongi’s cheeks for good measure. He hisses in response, but Seokjin isn’t afraid of some little kitten. Seokjin is a bigger bitch with a meaner bite. “Is my little Yoongi Woongi seriously offering to deliver another hug to Miss Y/N? How magnanimous of you.”

Yoongi stares at him, stunned for a moment. A few seconds pass before he shakes his head, faux disdain coloring his expression. “That’s right,” Yoongi huffs, detaching himself from Seokjin’s meaty claws. He keeps his gaze averted, like the big stupid tsundere that he is. “I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart! I care about your profits, and I want to make your workload a little lighter! Isn’t that what you want?”

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Seokjin snickers, poking Yoongi in the tit. He swivels away, skipping merrily away to their parked car. “I’m expecting that cash in my Paypal by the time I get to the car, or else the deal is off. Make it snappy, loverboy!”

Yoongi had never transferred cash to someone so quickly in his life.

(Yes, not even when the food court on campus was doing a BOGO promo for churros. That’s the extent of how whipped his ass is, period.)

x x x x x

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font.

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

“Listen, I’m seriously not forcing you to do this,” Seokjin starts, even though he’s giving his utmost effort to further embarrass Yoongi by handing out flyers about Hug-o-gram’s newest employee. “Please, take one!” he cajoles, offering a flyer to a gaggle of giggling freshmen. “Make sure to reserve a hug within the week! Yoongi-chi over here is on his way to becoming employee of the month if he gets ten requests by Friday!” They all point and whisper at Yoongi, and he swears he hears one of them wolf whistle in admiration.

“That’s what makes this entire thing terrible. I’m doing this on my own volition, and I absolutely abhor myself for it,” Yoongi moans, grabbing Seokjin’s stack of flyers and smacking himself in the head with them. It probably would’ve hurt more when Seokjin still had a full-stack, but people had swarmed them the moment they entered the heart of the campus, everyone curious to see Yoongi in his interesting attire.

Seokjin might have been famous for creating the Hug-o-gram Service, but Yoongi was famous for hating the business idea, so it’s easy to understand why everyone was interested. (For good reason, he thinks darkly to himself.)

“Damn, Yoongi-chi. Looks like you’re trending on the campus Reddit page,” Seokjin laughs, wheezing even harder when Yoongi points him with a murderous glare. “What? Like you said, this was all your idea.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t ask to wear… whatever this is!” Yoongi whines, tugging on the string around his neck. The cardboard sign had been ready and prepared the moment they arrived home the other day, arousing Yoongi’s suspicions on Seokjin’s actual involvement in his current predicament. Those suspicions are put in the backburner for now, however, as Yoongi actually feels like he might die of embarrassment instead of the packets of MSG coursing through his veins from the ten ramen packs he ate this morning. Maybe both will kill him, if he’s lucky.

“Well, I would love to lend you my uniform, but I haven’t gotten a t-shirt printed with your face on it yet, so you’ll have to deal with the kitten ears and cardboard sign for now,” Seokjin says, patting him on the back. “Or, would you rather I have you wear a shirt with my face on it? I’m open to suggestions.”

“I’d rather swallow a Tide pod, thanks,” Yoongi says through gritted teeth. “C’mon, let’s move. We’ve been standing in the middle of campus like street clowns for long enough. We need to find Y/N because her class is about to end.”

“Street clowns, huh? I guess you are only missing the make-up to complete the look, especially since you seem adamant to keep honking your way through that sickening crush of yours.” Seokjin nearly catches a punch to the head, but his superior reaction time saves him from Yoongi’s sorely lacking physicality. He snatches Yoongi by the hand, dragging them towards your lecture hall. “C’mon, clown! Let’s honk this bread!”

As the two of them get closer to where you are, Yoongi’s heartbeat begins to accelerate. He wonders idly if he should see a doctor after all this, hoping that he hadn’t actually contracted heart disease due to all this stress. Lord forbid that he meet his end before he even gets to ask you out or something!

Even though he’s already hugged you once (and it was, by far, the most euphoric experience of his sad, miserable life), he still finds himself getting clammy hands at the thought of seeing you again. Nevermind the fact that he looked like a walking circus with his get-up… No, Yoongi refuses to think about it anymore, lest his last remaining brain wrinkle irreversibly smoothens.

The campus clock rings loudly, signaling the end of another block of classes. Students rush out of the buildings, with you being one of the first ones out for a change. When Yoongi spots your head of hair among the crowd, he doesn’t immediately notice what you’re wearing at first. In fact, it’s Seokjin who stops in his tracks for a moment, surprised by how you look.

“Woah, Y/N! Looking good,” Seokjin greets, rushing past Yoongi to envelop you in a hug. (A platonic hug, Yoongi reminds himself. Because unlike Yoongi, Seokjin is a normal human being who can give hugs to anyone he wants because he’s… fucking Seokjin! Lucky bastard that he is.)

“Woah!” You laugh, surprised by the sudden hug. You pat him on the back giddily, allowing him to swing you around a little. “What’s this all about? Am I getting a hug-o-gram again?”

“Yes, you are. But not from me,” Seokjin detaches himself from you, scooting away to point at Yoongi. When Seokjin moves away, Yoongi finally understands why his hyung had said you looked good. No, that was an understatement––you looked [redacted].

(For the sake of the author’s fragile ash-coated heart, she has chosen to redact Yoongi’s exact words to protect herself from slamming her head against a keyboard from how cheesy this fic is becoming. Let’s just say the word starts with a B and ends with an L. Make of that as you will.)

You must have come out of an interview or presentation of sorts because you were dressed more nicely than you usually do, which is a pretty big deal considering how put together you always looked. Your hair is styled nicely, obviously given much more care and effort than your regular appearance. You’re wearing a cute little black dress, long enough to be professional but short enough to give Yoongi breathing problems.

If Yoongi’s brain had a playlist, it would be nothing but the sound of him going HNNNNNNNNNG on repeat.

“Oh geez.” Yoongi curses lowly, smiling through the pain. This is fine, he thinks, even though it is clearly not fine. Yoongi has always been a terrible liar.

“Yoongi?” You sound incredulous, though that’s honestly a win in Yoongi’s book considering everything. You didn’t look disgusted, so that’s great. “You look…” You stop yourself, covering your mouth to hide your grin but your amusement is palpable. At least he made you laugh, he supposes.

“Like a fucking idiot? You said it,” Yoongi snorts, arms crossed defiantly. He’s trying to look intimidating, but with his cheeks puffed up and these abominable kitten ears on his head, he looks more like a grumpy cat throwing a tantrum. He juts a thumb at Seokjin, “Thank this himbo for the outfit. I definitely would have chosen something more… inconspicuous.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” You quip, still trying to mask your giggles. On the other hand, Seokjin was wheezing like a hyena, his phone pulled out and presumably filming Yoongi to add to his cringe compilation.

“Exactly what I said!” Seokjin says through his laughter, tears of mirth streaming down his face. He walks back to Yoongi, pushing him forward until he’s face to face with you. “Go on, then! We haven’t got all day!”

“I’m assuming you’re officially part of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram business now?” you ask, opening your arms wide to accept his hug. Like the beta male that he is, Yoongi has to be the one to follow in your footsteps, meekly coming closer to wrap you in an embrace.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Yoongi mutters, tucking his chin onto your shoulder. He feels you vibrate with laughter, bringing a small smile on his own face. He likes making you laugh, always has.

With the cardboard sign serving as a barrier between the two of you, he isn’t as fearful of you feeling the erratic beat of his heart, though it wouldn’t be hard to guess if you looked at him. He closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy your hug rather than just panic through the entire ordeal like yesterday.

Soon enough, you’re detaching yourself from him, still standing close. Your arm is just a hair’s breadth away, and if not for Seokjin enthusiastically videotaping this entire experience, Yoongi might have closed in for another hug if he could manage.

“It’s always nice to get a hug from someone you like, huh?” You say, cheeks tinted a rosy color. The true meaning of your words flies over Yoongi’s head, as his feeble mind chooses to focus on your comment a little differently.

“I––Of course I like you! We’re friends, aren’t we?” Yoongi laughs nervously, unaware that he’s slowly digging himself into a ditch. To the side, Seokjin audibly slaps a hand to his face, body shivering with secondhand embarrassment from being blasted by the full force of how idiotic his friend actually is.

Yoongi sees you deflate a little, further confusing him. “Yeah, you’re right I guess…” You sigh, taking a step backward dejectedly. Yoongi flounders a little, unsure how he managed to fuck up in just a few seconds when you had just hugged him like your life depended on it.

Choosing now to interfere before the going gets rough, Seokjin steps in between and slings an arm around both of you. Yoongi groans under the weight of his arm, glaring when he notices that Seokjin had done it on purpose, but only to him. You don’t look too bothered by his rude gesture, albeit you were more befuddled than before.

“Hey, Y/N! I don’t know if you’ve ever ordered a hug-o-gram before, but I’m doing a special this week! Now that Yoongi-chi has so kindly joined the team,” Seokjin gives him a pointed look, to which the black-haired music major sticks his tongue out petulantly, “we’re doing a little promotion for first-time customers! Would you be interested in ordering one?”

Your eyes widen, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “M-me? Ordering a hug-o-gram? Well, I…” you hesitate, sending a small glance at Yoongi before looking away in embarrassment. “I would like to, but I don’t know if it’ll be well received, you see…”

Seokjin grumbles, silently cursing the stupid shithead who caused his own demise in the first place. The worst part is that he had no idea that he totally just friendzoned you! YOU! Someone who was literally leagues ahead of him. He sincerely has no idea what you see in this bumbling idiot, but everyone with a brain knows that you have been crushing on him for as long as he’s been crushing on you, so perhaps you’re a little bit of an idiot yourself for liking him back.

Being friends with the two of you makes him feel like he’s constantly wearing a sloppy wet diaper, and he hates it. He wants to wipe his ass as soon as possible!

Seokjin shoves Yoongi away roughly, ignoring his indignant squawks as he pulls you aside. He takes you by the hand, taking you a few steps away from Yoongi, far enough that he can whisper into your ear without the other boy hearing.

Yoongi fumes from the sidelines, trying to keep his emotions in check even though he’s bursting at the seams with jealousy. Not for the first time, Yoongi irritably realizes that he does act like a cat, especially in moments like this. He might make fun of Seokjin for being an attention whore, but Yoongi is the same, if only at a smaller scale. He just wants you to look at him, as selfish as that sounds.

Can someone give him a break? He’s been holding in his crush for four years now… Imagine having to take a massive shit after drinking two gallons of milk while being lactose intolerant, except every time you line up for the washroom, the line gets increasingly long no matter how long you wait. That is the extent of his suffering, he tells himself. So please, excuse his dramatics for this one instance.

(Seokjin’s Note: This fucking jackass is SO stupid. If he only knew how easy it is to ask you out, he would know that his emotional constipation could be solved if he just fucking ASKED where the next washroom is. He could have relieved himself ages ago, but NO! And he calls me the idiot! Me! The utter betrayal! I’m never agreeing to become the second lead to a rom-com ever again!)

When Seokjin finishes whispering in your ears, you appear amused by what he had said. Yoongi sweats when you turn to face him, grinning slyly at him. “Is that so…” you wonder aloud. Yoongi feels like the world has shifted on its axis somewhat, though he still doesn’t know exactly how. He has a hunch that he’s going to find out soon enough.

“Would I ever lie to you?” Seokjin laughs that annoying laugh of his, slapping his thigh in the process. He straightens up almost immediately, his expression turning deadpan in an instant. “Send me the details by tonight, and I’ll make sure to deliver it, okay?”

“Promise?” You ask, holding a pinky up towards him. Yoongi might have let out a high pitched sob when he sees the gesture, wanting nothing more than to cup your hands in his. God, if he already nearly died from hugging you, who is to say Yoongi won’t immediately disintegrate if you were ever to hold his hand?

“Promise,” Seokjin replies, linking his pinky with yours. He doesn’t forget to point a shit-eating grin at Yoongi, for good measure.

You pull away, looking happier than you did moments prior. You were absolutely glowing, filling Yoongi with a warmth that only you ever knew how to provide. He wants to make you smile like that all the time, wants nothing more than for you to live beside him, filling his walls with the sound of your tinkling laughter. You wave cheerily at the both of them, stepping away to head home. “I guess I’ll see you, then? I’ll make sure to e-mail you my request, Seokjin!” you say, winking teasingly. “Bye to you too, Yoongi! Thanks for the hug!”

Yoongi watches as you walk further and further away as the usual melancholy that follows whenever you leave soon takes its place in his soul. It might be his imagination, but Yoongi thinks the cat ears on his head might have started to droop to match his mood.

The only way he knows how to replace the sadness, however, is by redirecting those emotions on an unsuspecting victim. Lucky for him, a willing volunteer is already within punching distance.

“Ow! Stop punching me, you gremlin!” Seokjin whines, blocking Yoongi’s series of punches like a pro. He might as well put ‘professional punching bag’ on his resume at this point. “I’m trying to help you, you useless beta male!”

“How is this helping! You made me wear cat ears and whispered blasphemies into Y/N’s ears! Now she’s going to order a hug-o-gram for her crush and it’ll be the end of my chances with her! How could you!”

“I was not whispering blasphemies, you twittering tit! I was giving her advice,” Seokjin sniffs, annoyed. “Don’t say I never help you, by the way. I’ve been trying to help you for years now.”

Yoongi hits him with a steely glare. “Really? So replacing all my clothes in my closet with clown attire is your version of help? I had to wear those stupid clown shoes for a week before you told me where you hid my clothes, jackass!”

“I was only trying to help you physically express yourself! You’re already a clown on paper, might as well help you achieve your final form!” Seokjin huffs, infuriatingly haughty. “Listen, believe me. I only told Y/N something that everyone already knows anyway, so just shut your trap and let Daddy handle the rest. You’re not going to lose her, I promise.”

“Please never refer to yourself as Daddy ever again,” Yoongi seethes, stalking off towards their car. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

“No talk, Yoobie angy…” Seokjin snickers to himself, following Yoongi with a spring in his step. This bastard is going to grovel at his feet by tomorrow evening, he’s sure of it. If he doesn’t, then Seokjin will bite his own dick in half––that’s how sure he is of his plan! (Not that biting his dick in half will do anything to his length; he’d still be left with eight inches, let’s be real.) All in good time.

x x x x x

Seokjin gets an e-mail the next morning, much earlier than any sane person would choose to be awake at. He groans lowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he tries to read the contents of the letter. When he’s satisfied by what he has read, he forwards the e-mail to Yoongi before allowing sleep to take him once more.

Sleep evades him, however, when the sound of Yoongi’s big feet pounds noisily outside his bedroom. He hits his knee loudly against the coffee table, causing their beloved popcorn machine to tumble to the floor, but that is of little consequence to Yoongi right now. No, he needs to get into Seokjin’s room right now and scream––

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Yoongi hollers, slamming Seokjin’s door open. The hinges creak, desperately hanging on despite the impact. Yoongi proceeds to slam a fist upon Seokjin’s ass, who barely flinches due to the fatness of his ass cushioning most of the damage. He blinks blearily at Yoongi, but the smirk on his face is clear as day.

“Came to claim your hug so early in the morning? Well, I usually don’t entertain clients until after I’ve taken a shower, but for you… I’ll make an exception,” he yawns, peeling back his blanket and patting the empty spot on his bed. “Come on in, Yoobie Boobie… Let’s hug like it’s the last day on earth.”

Seokjin fails to realize that once he removed his blanket, he had inadvertently left himself vulnerable. Yoongi slams the heel of his foot against Seokjin’s groin, causing him to shriek bloody murder at 7 AM. He wonders, amidst his pain, whether this might be the last straw and that their landlord will finally kick them out after years of their stupid shenanigans.

“WHAT DID THAT E-MAIL MEAN? IF IT’S WHAT I THINK IT IS…” Yoongi threatens, but it’s as empty as Seokjin’s butthole. They both know the implications of that e-mail, even a toddler can put two and two together and make sense out of it. Anonymous e-mail or not, Seokjin wouldn’t just forward any hug-o-gram request to Yoongi, unless…

What did the e-mail say? It goes something like:

Dear Mr. Kim,

Thank you for offering your special promotion for new time customers of your Hug-o-gram Service! I’ve always been a quiet fan of your business idea, but I’ve always been a little shy to submit a request of my own. Thank you so much for giving me the little push that I needed to send my first (and hopefully last) hug.

I’d like to send a hug to Mr. Min Yoongi from the Music Department. I understand that he has recently been appointed an employee at your business, but seeing as how it’d be difficult for him to hug himself (while not entirely impossible), I’d like to request that you be the one to send the hug to him.

I don’t really have a message for him, per se… I’m still a little shy, even though you already told me that there is no reason to be. I want to believe what you said was true, so I’m pushing my fear aside and putting my fate into your hands. So, to Mr. Min Yoongi… “When I told you it was nice to hug someone you like, I don’t think you understood what I meant. A hug, after all, is a two-way street. They’re often served the best when it is reciprocated, if you catch my drift. :)”

Peace! :3

Regards,

[Redacted] [Redacted]

“Have your brain synapses finished connecting? Because if even this flies over your head, I’m sorry to say buddy but… You might have smooth brain syndrome,” Seokjin pipes up. He observes Yoongi’s brow crumpling, the first signal of his impending mental breakdown. If Seokjin remembers correctly, the next signal should be when––

Yoongi drops down to his knees, his phone clattering to the floor as he stares absently at the ceiling. Seokjin cringes, worried for the state of his friend’s frail kneecaps. The poor sap has bad heart health already; surely, it isn’t too early to get him a life alert button?

Seokjin scooches over his bed, dangling half his body over the edge to appraise his friend. “So. What do you plan to do now?”

For a moment, Yoongi remains silent. Eventually, he shuffles closer to him, perching his hands around Seokjin. The business student raises a brow, confused, until Yoongi pushes Seokjin back onto the middle of the bed so that he can cram himself beside Seokjin on his small double bed. He huffs amusedly, allowing the smaller boy to snuggle into his chest, though he still refuses to wrap his arms around him. Close enough, Seokjin snorts.

“I need your help, hyung.” Yoongi’s voice is small, shy. It’s so uncharacteristic of him that Seokjin immediately softens. They might act like toddlers together the majority of the time, but Seokjin truly does care about Yoongi more than anything. During early mornings like this, when the sun’s soft rays are filtering through his sheer curtains and filling the room with a gentle warmth, it’s nice to cuddle up with one another and enjoy the silence. In fact, Seokjin would never admit it to Yoongi, but he got the idea for his Hug-o-gram service from Yoongi himself, back when the younger boy would be more prone to sneaking into his bed during his bouts of loneliness and homesickness.

Above all else, Yoongi is just a boy with a lot of love to give, so who is Seokjin to say no to his pleas for help?

“You know I always got your back, Yoongi-chi. Whenever you’re ready, we can do whatever you want. Ask and you’ll receive,” he replies, caressing his soft black tresses. Yoongi hums, smiling softly into his chest.

“Thanks, dude. For being… you know.”

Seokjin’s heart pangs a little, but he ignores it. Instead, he continues combing through his hair, humming gently. “I know.”

x x x x x

It’s been a few days since you sent the e-mail to Seokjin and you haven’t heard back from him. You aren’t sure if he sends confirmation e-mails to his clients as you’d never asked for a hug-o-gram before, nor did you know anyone who has. You are forced to continue on with your days like normal, trying to ignore the unsettling anxiety from creeping up your throat and spewing all over the sidewalk.

If Seokjin hadn’t been lying to you, then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. You’ve been harboring this crush on Yoongi for years now, and you never thought in your life that it would ever be reciprocated. He always seemed a little bit detached, a little too cool for you. Never mind the fact that he always seemed so jittery around you, like it was hard to talk to you or something!

Your answer comes on the last day of the week, after an especially rough day at class. Your back is bent, having finished a grueling four hour lab period where you did nothing but stand and stare at your reaction vessel spinning without any signal of change. You are just a little bit hangry from all the stress piling up on your plate, especially since you hadn’t eaten a decent meal since breakfast at 8 AM.

In short, life isn’t going as smoothly as you’d hoped for your senior year, but you can’t let the blues get to you too soon. After all, there are leftover chicken wings in your fridge with your name on it, and nothing beats your meat more than greasy poultry to end a terrible week.

You’re only inches away from sliding your keycard to open your shared dorm room when the door opens without prompting. You flinch backward, yelping loudly when your roommate Park Jimin grins slyly from the doorway––never a good sign, if you knew anything.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jimin says, leaning casually against the door like he hadn’t just scared the living shit out of you. He takes one glance at your disheveled hair and lightly sweaty clothes before grimacing in disgust. “Girl, I can’t let you meet the love your life while you’re looking like that. Come on, we have a few minutes before he arrives. Let’s get you freshened up.”

“I’m sorry?” You squeak, allowing your roommate to manhandle you into your own home. He pushes you into your room, depositing you roughly onto your unmade bed. You try to make eye contact with him, but he’s too busy raiding your closet to pay you much attention. “Excuse me? What did you say just now?”

“No time, princess! Your Prince Charming is on the way, and I’ve been ordered by Seokjin to prepare you for this life-changing moment, so get your ass into gear and change into this!” He shoves a clean pair of jeans and a nicer-looking blouse at you before proceeding to grab your hairbrush and comb your tresses with the gentleness of a mother tigress. You shriek when the brush gets tangled in an especially stubborn knot, but Jimin is relentless. He nearly tears your hair by the roots, ignoring your pained whines.

“Will you fucking stop! I have literally no idea why you’re acting like a psycho all of a sudden–” You shout when Jimin begins to undress you, having to kick him in the chest to get him away from completely eradicating your remaining traces of dignity. “Okay, fine! I’ll dress myself! Just get out of my room and fucking stay away!”

Jimin looks at you dubiously for a split second, before eventually acquiescing. “You have two minutes to get changed. You wouldn’t want to keep him waiting, do you?” he says, smirking knowingly. He better dread the day that you finally wipe that annoying twinkle in his eye; it’s been a long time coming.

Left alone to your own devices, you do as Jimin says even though you’re still wildly confused by everything. To think you had been so excited to feast on your chicken wings, and instead, you went through a decade’s worth of torture within the last few minutes. Patting your hands on the butt of your jeans, you meekly take a step out of your bedroom, where Jimin is already tapping his foot impatiently by the door.

He motions for you to hurry up. “Let’s go! Seokjin says they’re rounding up the corner. Hold on,” he steps closer to you, raising your arm up to take a shameless sniff of your pits. “Sorry, had to make a pit stop. You can never be too sure,” he shrugs, disregarding your squawks of indignation.

“I smell fine! Now what are we–” Your sentence is cut short as Jimin all but carries you to the elevator, your shrieks of terror causing one or two of your neighbors to peek their heads out of their doors. When they see it’s just the two of you, they simply shrug their shoulders, returning to their lives like it was normal to see Jimin carry you in a fireman’s hold.

He doesn’t put you down until you reach the lobby of your dorm complex, barely out of breath despite having held you the entire way down. Stupid buff baby, you groan internally to yourself, straightening down your clothes in a desperate attempt to look decent. “Okay, we’re here. Who am I supposed to be meeting?”

In lieu of an answer, Jimin points wordlessly outside your building. A black car is parked on the other side of the road, and you can barely see a familiar head of hair poking out from the driver’s seat. “Seokjin? What the…” you trail off, before your eyes finally land on their target.

Yoongi stands outside the glass doorway, not dressed in his usual all-black attire. He’s wearing an outrageously cute pink shirt today, matching the color of his natural flush. He always looks effortlessly good, with his hair a little windswept in that boyishly cute way. Your mouth goes a little dry when you realize he’s wearing his famous leather jacket, the one that always got the girls and boys swooning when he walked past in them. You hated how whipped for him you were, not wanting to be like the weird kids in his secret fan club, but who can blame you? He’s just so…

You rip open the door, nearly tripping and falling over the short steps leading to the entrance. You grind to a halt in front of him and you’re acutely aware of how rabid you must look. Your chest is pounding, like your heart is begging you to step closer, just like when you had hugged him all those days ago. God, you were going to kill Park Jimin for this.

“Yoongi? What are you…” You take one look at him before your gaze drops to his hands folded carefully behind his back. It doesn’t hide the fact that there is an obvious bouquet of flowers behind him, though. Your face lights on fire when you notice they were your favorite flowers too.

“I’m here to deliver a hug?” Yoongi says it like he’s unsure of himself, but there’s a little coyness laced in his tone. His cheeks are painted a soft pink, and not for the first time, they remind you of freshly baked bread pulled out from the oven. Soft enough to kiss, you wonder idly to yourself.

“I mean… I did order a hug a few days ago, but I do recall not ordering one for myself?” you laugh a little hysterically, your breath cutting short when Yoongi grins softly in response. “I… Who is this hug from?”

Yoongi takes a glance back towards Seokjin. “Hey, boss. Am I allowed to reveal who the secret admirers are, or will that get me fired?”

Seokjin, despite being a few meters away, laughs loud enough for the whole street to hear. “Well, Yoongi-chi. Something tells me your resignation letter was coming in the mail eventually. Who cares about the rules at this point?”

“He’s right,” you quip, pulling Yoongi’s attention back. You’re smiling wide now, your hopes and dreams skyrocketing in your chest and blooming a garden in your heart. “Who cares, right?”

“Right,” Yoongi agrees, taking the last two steps he needs to get closer to you. He drops the bouquet somewhere behind you before finally, finally, embracing you once more. He kisses you gently on the forehead, the contact short and sweet.

You feel like you’re dying, but it’s all good because Yoongi looks just as embarrassed as you. But none of it matters, not when both your happiness is palpable in the air.

“Y/N…”

“Yes?”

“This hug-o-gram is from me to you. Will you go out with me?”

You’ve always been a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. So when you lean in to plant your first kiss of many many more, he knows your answer well enough.

#bangtanarmynet #btsboulangerie #armiesnet #bts scenarios #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #bts reader insert #bts fanfiction #bts #bts imagines #bts fluff #college!au #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #yoongi scenarios #suga scenarios #yoongi fluff #bts suga #bangtan #bts fanfic #btsghostie #why am i even pretending like i write angst anymore... who am i #i feel like ive forgotten who i am LMAOOOO

[poisonousquinzel]

i go on twitter and i feel so alone, bc mostly harley stans seems to hate punchline, i can't relate, i'm glad that she exists bc that means DC have no intention to return harley to the ugly clown...

Honestly a mood anon 😔 I feel like any time I go to the tags or anything I end up seeing shit I don't wanna see 😭 I don't got nearly the same block list on Twitter as I got on here skdjsks (this is my Twitter btw haha ❤️)

I feel confident that Stephanie wouldn't write Harley returning into that cycle, but also like I wouldn't put it past DC to try for the sake of an easy money grab.

And like I get that Punchline's low-key an aesthetic copy of Harley and yada yada but also like c'mon y'all I'm gayyyyy I don't care she's pretty 🥰

(also wee bit sus having all those photos of your "man's" ex. wee bit

if ya ask me)

my hot take is that I think Punchline's arc is gonna end up similar to Harley's and her warnings about him are gonna come back.

And it'll end with her sitting at a bar getting a free therapy session from Harley cause she's been there before they ban together and go violently end him once and for all. 😌

but then again that might be giving DC too much credit 💀

#♦️ asks ♦️ #tw clown boy #punchline dc #harley quinn #dc comics #harleen quinzel #tw abuse mention

[formulinos]

Hyperfixation Corner | Review: Jacques VIlleneuve's Private Paradise

as a little celebration for my incredible mark of 300 followers, i wanted to do a very neat, very special hyperfixation corner! but since we're running on so little time and i'm very slowly doing my research for what i actually want to devote a long time, i decided to dive in the strange little world of jacques villeneuve for this small review of his 2007 cultural reset album "private paradise". i honestly am stunned. if you enjoy music, don't click in the jump after the cut tbh. but hey, you know you are curious to hear more about it!

(what the fuck! 300 followers!!!! thank you all SO VERY MUCH)

First of all, it's important to highlight that as much as this album SOUNDS as if it was done in 48 hours, it wasn't. Jacques started composing songs seriously (but as a hobby) in 1996, when he got into F1 (according to himself). He also took to himself to learn the piano in 97, so you know, he showed some affinity to music. In fact, as practically all three album reviews at the time will tell you, Seville Villeneuve was a piano teacher - hopefully not like Isabelle Huppert in that film - and taught it to Gilles, who also knew how to play the trumpet, very well if I say so. I'm gonna embed a video of it straight away because it's how I want to waste tumblr's one video rule:

Very nice. Anyway, his son Jacques started properly composing around 2000, taking five more years to decide to record some of those during Christmas. The madlad actually liked what he heard and, to be honest, driving for Sauber, he had enough time to devote himself to make a full LP. He got his sister, he got a bunch of friends, and he did 13 songs that I will never be able to forget in my life. After realeasing his first promo single "Accepterais-Tu ?"during the 2006 Canadian Grand Prix weekend (more on that later), Private Paradise was released to the world, and I'm sure that the 233 copies that were sold were very well enjoyed!

note: honestly, although it's pretty clear by now this is not a good one, i would like to put out a disclaimer that my own taste in music sucks. i'm not like The Other Girls, i listen to indie music, like arctic monkeys XD i also didn't get Sour, i'm honestly not proud of it because olivia rodrigo seems very dedicated to her aesthetic and her work and i wish i could enjoy it but it's not my type. basically, don't take music refs from me and don't believe that bc i didn't like it it means that if you did your taste in music suck. also tag your taylor swift i'm tired of everytime she releases a song you guys find a way to make graphics and parallels w her songs. 

Track 1 - Foolin’ Around: The second the album started playing and I heard the claps, snakes started manifesting in my house. It's never a good sign when a song starts with the beat in a folk rock album, and the guilar strums confirmed it. It's... derivative, it's incredibly generic, the lyrics are as deep as when I tried to learn bass guitar when I was 13 because I wanted to start a band after I listened to "A Hard Day's Night". But here's the thing, I knew when to stop, and this song didn't. It goes for too long, and the decision to repeat the WHOLE FUCKING THING after changing the pitch and a weird ass guitar solo is horrid. TBH all the songs in this are weirdly long, the whole album clocks at 54 min. Jacques would legit have benefitted from the Streaming pattern nowadays of 2 min 30 secs songs. 

Track 2 - You Are: He thought he ate with his vocals here, he really did and it's even heartbreaking. If Foolin' Around shows he doesn't know where to stop, You Are is the first evidence he didn't even know where to start (singing lessons). As always, the lyrics aren't deep at all, but it doesn't even matter bc it's kinda entertaining to hear him feel himself over his long notes. He struggles so much they had to resort to backing vocals in the same volume as the main ones... Absolute highlight to me!

Track 3 - Father: OK, they got me on this one. In fact, Melanie Villeneuve is the MVP of this album. As the title says, this is the Gilles Tribute Song, and to be fair, lovely. Melanie's voice is incredible, she conveys the emotion perfectly and hey, I'm not gonna slag off Jacques for not singing as well with his sister when you know, once you read the song lyrics, you can tell it's equal parts trying to honour and love their dad while also kind of dealing with the feelings of resentment for him not being there and for sometimes racing too hard and having to share their own grief with the legends of F1 fans who lost an idol. Fair play. I miss Gilles.

"It's a very important song. It's the only personal song on the album. I don't write personal stuff and I don't want to sing personal stuff either, but this one, because it's with my sister, I'm quite happy doing it."

Melanie singing 'Father' in the album launch, February 2007.

Track 4 - Tout Dire: Thankfully, Melanie's on-track involvement ends in Father and I can talk shit about Jacques in peace again. This one is iconic, tbh, he served it here. The whole gist of it is how some girl hurt routinely his feelings and he can’t act the same way as if nothing happened anymore. I think that his voice works better in French - barely but at least this song is more complex than the other two and feels less dated, or maybe French just matches the old people vibes of this album.

Track 5 - The Ones:  HONESTLY! FOR FUCK'S SAKE! This album is such a flop that there isn't a digitalised booklet anywhere and I almost considered buying a copy so that I could get more info on who else was involved in making this, but no one is selling this in here. If there isn't a single listing of your album in Brazil, you flopped. Anyway, the woman singing in this is Ely Breton and you need to put some respeck in her name because she sang for Cirque du Soleil's Delirium spectacle short after this. Lovely gal. Hate the song.

Ely killing the competition, same album launch in February 2007. There was literally one presentation of this ever and I beg them to #ReleaseTheVilleneuveCut

Track 6 - Accepterais-Tu ?: Jacques really listened to this once and said "I ended everyone's careers. This will be my lead single" and he thought it would be a good idea to release it BEFORE THE CANADIAN GRAND PRIX. This is where he lost the battle to Kubica, sincerely, if I was a backup driver I'd clown Jacques too. BMW Sauber probably talked to him after the German GP like "bruh honestly you can't come back. It's not because you're driving lazily and crashing the car all the time, it's because your song is complete wank". Even Steve Rider and Mark Blundell take the piss of him in this pre-race feature.

About the song itself: the thing about his French songs being more complex absolutely bites him back in the ass when he overdoes it. It's catchy, but in a way you wish brain bleach was a real thing and to make matters worse, he struggles SO hard with his vocals. If this was an IRL marriage proposal it would become a r/relationship_advice post in 2 months time.

Track 7 - Why Did You Come ?: IDK either dude. Again, it took me forever to find who is the milf singing in this with him and after quite a bit of googling, it seems to be Amélie Veille, who has a nice career it seems. Stream one of her songs instead. This one is completely forgettable and I got so tired looking for Amélie I forgot to write how I feel about it.

Yes. February 2007.

Track 8 - Vaguement: This is so dramatic and pointless... I don’t get the violins.. the Spanish Guitar vibes... the weird ass music video.... the way it's so long but then when it ends you’re like “what? now???"........ who did this.... electric chair...... my behated.....

Track 9 - Lullaby: I don’t know what overtook me, probably the hatred for Vaguement, but this one… was not so bad. Honestly, this wasn’t as much of a chore and it even gave space for some theorising because if you listen to it (and you are totally in the right not to), it sounds more of an adieu to F1 than a standard love song. Might also be quarantine brain but I feel like I’m realising things here and Mr. Villeneuve lied when he said Father was the only personal song in this album. All good work he did here was thrown out the window when he struggle vocals during the guitar breakdown and I found myself thinking of the superior Lullaby by The Cure. 

Track 10 - Private Paradise: 

It’s the title song and it absolutely fucks. Why lie for the tl? At this point I might have borderline Stockholm Syndrome but really, he looked camp in the eye and it looked back and they didn’t mind. He made an effort, it was cheesy and he embraced it. Let him have his little Coldplay moment! If there were more songs like this the album would have been more torelable. I absolutely hate how much I enjoyed this one

Track 11 - Étrangers: He bottled it but I am still under the effect of Private Paradise so I don’t even mind it. Again, another voice of an uncredited woman and unlike the other three, I can’t confirm nor deny who it is. I saw one single link that credited it to both Jacques and his half-sister Jessica (who if my math isn’t off was around 13-14 when they recorded it, such a prodigy!) but I failed to find anything on song credit databases.

Track 12 - Women Come Women Go: We get it Jacques you are sexist. I swear I laughed OUT loud at how he tried to rhyme “women” with “one man” KDJJSJSJJS PLEASEEEEEEEE not when the women featured throughout this mess didn’t save your day! Fuck off!!!!!

Track 13 - Mother Earth: FULL CIRCLE! THIS IS AS BAD AS THE FIRST SONG! If Lewis and Seb heard this ode to snow (Canadian or Swiss? It matters less than you think!) they would give up on all environment causes. Pair this with the Incel Manifest we just listened to and we can call it a Certified Jacques Moment. He’s so crazyyyyy I love him XD Oh, and the choir did their best!

Overall, I’m gonna grade this a 4/10 because I love Gilles. Basically, a 10 to all the women in this and a complete zero to Jacques. HOWEVER, I do have to cheer him on for the absolute balls it took to record this seriously and pursue his hobbies and while it does suck, again, I don’t think I would be able to do any better. Plus, it wasn’t just Jacques who went wrong here… several people listened to this and thought it was good enough to release it. Blame them equally!!! I think that if he did a sophmore album today, he would be better equipped. Good luck Jacques, don’t give up on your dreams and ignore the haters! To the rest of you lovely people that support me, thanks a lot and see you hopefully sooner than it seems! Screw you guys, I'm going home :D

#hyperfixation corner #jacques villeneuve #gilles villeneuve #private paradise #ok guys 300 followers! wow! #yes i will drop this after a ferrari masterclass in free practices on a raceweekend #what's the worst that could happen #f1

[kota-bee]

eep i have some more loki x autistic reader ideas!! you don’t have to write anything for them if you don’t want to- i just rly wanna share bc i have so many ideas for this concept hehe

loki carrying around stim toys and other tools for reader for when they’re over/understimulated in his magic pocket dimension. like imagine being auditorily overstimulated and loki just magics you a copy of your pair of noise cancelling headphones or earphones.

when loki goes shopping and they’d see something that’s sensory heaven for you so she doesn’t hesitate to bring it home for you <33

bUt also when loki finds out that when you stim with something it means you just love that much more. so when they get you a stuffy and see you stimming with it later he’d get so happy

omg omg and imagine her learning the recipes for your safe foods. you have a day where you just got so overwhelmed and when you get home you’re greeted by the smell of your safe food and loki wearing an apron coming over to take you in their arms and make everything ok again mfhahdhw

and loki learning your nonfacial emotes. for example i’m sometimes too tired or just not in the mood to emote with my face so i have verbal stims that show my excitement for things. one i picked up from abed nadir “cool. cool cool cool” fmgahdhs and imagine loki knowing that that stim is the equivalent of a grateful smile eeeeep i’d melt on the spot if someone understood my nonfacial emotes :,)))

i hope it’s ok i shared these loll, anyway have a great day! /gen

I’m gonna answer this in parts! I definitely plan on using all of these prompts but I’ll have to work on them separately. You never fail to give me some fun ideas love. I will tag you in each of them

I already have one in the works but unfortunately I have a show to work starting tomorrow so it might take awhile to write. I’m working Matilda which has 24 set changes in like 1 hour so ima be sleepy

[catboyshinsou]

sick headcanons!

anon request: i love your writing smmm !! 🥺 can i request mha sick hcs where they take care of the reader when they don’t feel well 🥺 you choose who !! <3333

a/n: sorry it took so long <//3

pairings: Kaminari, Kirishima, Tokoyami and Monoma x sick,g/n!reader

warnings: none rlly, mention of throwing up in monoma, slight manga spoilers

can be seen platonically and romantically <3

kaminari:

Tbh i think he’d be quite Useless

Just rlly panicky n stuff bc what the fuck does one do with a sick person???

*walks into your dorm* “hey y-n wanna- WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOK TERRIBLE”

*you in a blanket and not having enough energy to be offended* “i think i’m dying” “y/n WHAT”

He’d try his best regardless tho

He goes to sato and helps with doing something soothing and welcoming

On his way back to your dorm he passes aizawa and tells him you’re sick in THE worst way

“Oh yeah Aizawa-sensei, y/n is dying-” “THEY’RE WHAT”

Kami would definitely storm into the room with him and be just as worried

What if it was something really serious??? Like the plague?????

They find you just laying in bed, sniffling and groaning

Turns out it wasn’t the plague and just a bad flu

Flu with its whole jazz, you had a fever of 38C and you could barely move

Aizawa got you excused from classes for about a week and left again

Kami just stood there with his soup and went “oh thank god you're not dying”

like i said i think he'd be useless but try his best

he checks up on you every half hour either in person or via text during classes

he brings you stuff like blankets and foods even though you can't taste any of them or have any type of appetite

but! thanks to the fridge in your room you just had snacks for about… forever

he gave you extra attention too

sometimes he'd just sit on the ground and talk about his day and theories while you just laid under your blanket

you appreciated it though

except for aizawa, sato and tsuyu nobody came over and even they just came in every few hours

kami stayed for hours on end and even tried to convince aizawa to let him sleep over so he could “watch over you” incase you “stopped breathing”

it's not like you slept much when he was around anyway, nights were not ideal for a good rest on a sick day

it was endearing seeing him lay on a futon on the floor and poking you when he had to get up for class

he leaves notes and stuff to make sure you didn't get worried

did he do anything to make you feel better physically? not rlly

did he lift your spirits and make you feel less lonely? most definitely

kirishima:

hear me out

this boy is an angel when it comes to caring for people

when he got into the whole essentially self care stuff he also knows what's best for others

he was probably one of the first to notice you being ~off your game~

whether in class or just yknow vibing, he'd tap your shoulder and softly “you okay man?”

he calls everyone dude and man and bro no matter gender or anything he's just that into the manliness stuff

and yes he puts you in essentially self isolation more for yourself than for others

“your body needs to rest y/n! can't properly get better if everyone keeps bothering you!”

he calls you every night tho and he has aizawa bring you stuff when he checks up on you (he's allowed because he's the teacher ofc also as long you're a UA student like one of your legal guardians which is like a dad and dads can see their kids sick right?)

stuff ranges from just bowls of soup to compresses to the handmade ointment against a sore throat to like socks he knitted or something his parents sent in bc he told them you were sick

yes this boy tells his parents you're sick

i mean someone probably told yours but like twice the parents means twice the comfort!

alternatively if your parents are *cough* he'd tell his parents and put you on the phone with them because everyone needs some parental love from time to time (don't act tough about it, he's gonna make you cry and tell you how manly you are for doing so)

when you're back on your feet he probably still treats you like you're about to fall over for like two or three days more

he praises you for how well you did during your essential quarantine and when you say you didn't do anything he says some cheesy stuff about manliness

“bro i'm so proud of you for getting through it!” “i didn't do anything kiri-” “don't say that! it takes so much energy and manliness to keep in self isolation and get better, you did amazing”

tokoyami:

i love birds

also look at baby toko he's so cute

do birds get sick?

anyways

tokoyami is like.. helpful but tries to be undercover about it

he's not gonna ignore you or anything

he's the type to like silently nudge teachers into your area so they could see you were clearly sick and send you back to the dorms to rest

but he'd never actually ask you or tell anyone

it would ruin his whole ~vibe~

dark shadow tells him to tell someone and he rlly does especially if he sees you struggling through it in class but he's also just not great at talking with people so a nudge or “secret note” will have to do

it does work, you're in your dorm right before combat training because mic had sent you up and excused you

mic is sweet he said he'd send aizawa up when he finds him but that you should rest

he also tells you that you have some really attentive friends

you're at this point just letting the sickness take over you so you have no idea what he just said (you heard him but the words just didn't register in your brain)

you get into bed and the first thing you do is sleep through afternoon classes

tokoyami is only at 50% today and so is dark shadow

tokoyami swears he isn't worried, the teachers are capable of taking care of you in an appropriate manner so that you will recover in no time

dark shadow on the other hand is all gittery and doesn't wanna focus on anything but you

off topic but i just think dark shadow is tokoyamis way of showing emotions or well like… like his internal thoughts? not like his internal dialogue but ya know his feelings

so he can act all goth and dramatic but dark shadow is a good way of still giving some of his feelings an output

back to you

so training is over and so is your nap

but you wake up to pillows, stuffed animals, blankets and more pillows surrounding you

half of them weren't yours either

they laid around you like some kind of pillow fortress jusy surrounding you and making sure you didn't hit your head on the wall or fall from the bed

it kinda felt like a nest- oh

you tried getting up, your head almost immediately flinging uoh back into bed but you needed to see if a certain someone would come back in to build the nest

“dark shadow, be quiet we don't want them to w- oh you're up”

tokoyami came in with more stuffies and an extra blanket like it was a siberian winter and your rooms only source of warmth was an almost dying candle

“are those yours?” you asked half asleep, your head absolutely booming

you could barely keep your eyes open, that's how exhausted you were but you made an effort to smile at the bird and his shadow

“uh no, yaomomo-san insisted on making some blankets for you and hagakure-san, ashido-san and uraraka-san gave me all their stuffed animals when they heard i was paying you a visit-” “but the blue star blanket and teardrop pillow are from fumi!! he brought them from home because he can't sleep without them!!” “DARK SHADOW!”

you only chuckled before breaking out in a cough again

aizawa came in some time after and had a hard time finding you under all the blankets and stuffies and even offered to tell the class to stop bothering you

but you just laid there all cozy and told him to let them be

“it's how he shows affection, it's nice”

monoma:

oh so the 1A student got sick??? huh??? I thought 1A was invincible hUUUUUUH??? *manic laughter*

coughs

anyways

so basically the two hero courses are more “in tune” after the joint training

they often have dinners together and it isn't rare to see kendo come over with monoma and tetsu^4

she came over to hang with the girls and tetsu had training sessions with kiri

nobody rlly knew why monoma tagged along though

all he did was spout about how average everything is for the “superior hero course”

he did secretly like the classes growing together more though

he'd sit on the couch with you and occasionally laugh about something else other than his team beating yours during joint training

one day he came in and didn't see you at your usual spot

“ehhhh??? where's the only tolerable person in this course??”

used to his lowkey insults deku pointed you out at the dinner table, head resting on your hand and looking over some homework

“y/n what are you- oh my god you look horrible”

“thanks monoma, you're as nice as ever”

your face was drained of any colour, eyes heavy lidded and you could barely control the pen that scribbled over the paper

he tried grabbing your wrist but pulled back immediately

you were way too hot and the fact that he noticed by grabbing your wrist meant that it was more than just a high fever

“is 1A that incompetent that they couldnt even notice their classmate falling sick??? can you guys do anything but trouble???”

“shut up monoma, we tried getting them to bed but they insisted on finishing up first and there's nothing in the world that can get y/n away from what they've put their head to”, kaminari yelled from the living room space

how were you gonna get anything finished if your head was falling off your shoulders if you didn't hold it up

class 1A really was incompetent

“sato-san, give me a hand”

sato, who was currently cooking up dinner, just held out his hand and some type of chocolate bar which monoma grabbed and ate up

“this is incredibly sweet, i don't know how you do it”

it's become like half a routine for monoma to copy quirks for whatever reason

kiri and tetsu used it to determine which quirk was handier

uraraka’s quirk made cleaning up after a game night easier

it was training for all of them

monoma could train his copy and the others could measure how much they've grown from his reaction to it

anyways

sato’s quirk kicked in and he lifted you up over his shoulder

“monoma!” you could barely lift your voice, faintly kicking

before you knew it he placed you on your bed in your dorm and sighed

“you're lighter than i thought”

“i think i'm gonna throw up”

so you hurled into your garbage can

monoma held back whatever there was to hold back

(he was very much disgusted but even he knew that this wasn't the time to let any type of negative emotion show)

“jolly gees y/n, what did you have for breakfast?!”

you laid in bed as he passed you a water bottle

“you need to drink something, you lost a lot of water”

“awe caring for me, monoma?”

“this is for general health, y/n. i would never as much as care for anyone, especially not a brat from 1A. who even knew that any of you could fall sick huh?! weren't you supposed to be superior to the rest of us??!”

he said all of that while putting a blanket on you and opening the window for fresh air

“god you 1A fools really are incompetent!”

he went into your bathroom and soaked a small towel in water

“i'm only doing this so you don't infect anyone. god you could cause an epidemic at UA and in the end 1b would fall victim to you as well! this is all just for the general well-being!”

you didn't even hear what he was saying anymore

with a half empty bottle next to your head, you slept peacefully

monoma let out a deep breath when he saw you

“i'd never care for anyone in 1A, i'm better than that…”

he whispered those words to himself

(he did care)

#bnha imagines #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha x gn!reader #Kaminari Denki #kaminari x reader #kaminari fluff #kaminari imagine #kirishima eijirou #kirishima fluff #kirishima x gender neutral reader #kirishima x you #kirishima x reader #bnha tokoyami #tokoyami headcanons #tokoyami fluff #tokoyami x reader #monoma x reader #mha monoma #monoma x y/n #monoma neito #monoma fluff

[janiedean]

if you ever wrote that rant about grrm making jon his chosen one deconstruction i'd be very happy to read it 👀

hello anon sorry for the lateness but here we go *deep breath*

sssooo, I had once ranted about it though not mentioning the thing I mentioned in those tags so lemme see if I can find the op and like... cp the main argument and amend it bc it was long, but okay so I found it, original anon asked me: why is Jon considered to be one of the most special characters grrm created? Why is he not the typical hero of fantasy books?, my original answer was here if anyone wants to go there but basically lemme just cp the first part making it shorter and then I'm adding:

first thing, the Typical Post-Tolkien Chosen One With A Shitty Life Before He Finds Out He Is Chosen™ character (I’m saying post-tolkien because every fantasy writer in existence who copies tolkien thinks that lotr went like that and instead it didn’t) usually goes through the following steps: his life sucks up until the beginning of the series, his family generally hates him/her or doesn’t appreciate them or abuses them or anyway doesn’t make their life easier and they’ve never known any different, but *something* never quite worked right and they always knew something was missing in their life, they just didn’t know why. suddenly someone who knows they were Chosen™ shows up and tells them that they’re actually Special because of this this and that and they have a quest to go on to save the world or something. our hero/heroine obviously is finally validated and while their quest is hard and full of hardships and maybe they lose a few friends along the way, finding out that they were Chosen gives their life meaning, they usually find love/friends/everything they didn’t have before until they fulfill the Prophecy™ and live more or less happily ever after, possibly after hooking up with the Person Of Their Dreams with whom they had UST up until the last twenty pages of the book. basically: being Chosen™ in regular fantasy novels is a good thing because suddenly you’re special and all the crap you suffered acquires a new meaning and in the end it made your life better.

jon snow is a complete overhaul of about everything in this sense because

instead of having a family who hates him he has a family who actually mostly loves him, and with ned it’s arguably so much that he risks royal treason by keeping him hidden from his *best friend* - sure, there’s cat and peripherally sansa, but his issues stem from the fact that he feels lesser because he’s a bastard (as far as he knows) and it’s a *class* issue, not a *my family hates me* issue not counting catelyn obv but that's what gives him freudian issues more on that in the emended part later

no one actually knows that he’s Chosen™ - like mel could get there and probably will and someone will put two and two together when his parentage comes out in the open, but he doesn’t have a gandalf or mentor who shows him The Way Towards His Quest

so instead of going from ‘my life sucks but I’m going on a quest which is gonna be a+’ he actively chooses to leave a fairly decent situation (a household he knows, siblings who love him - ned actually hoped he’d become robb’s counselor or right hand man or something from what we can gather) because he feels like he has to prove he’s better than his name and goes to the Crappiest Place In Westeros. like idk if people grasp it, but the wall is basically a prison and at the ripe age of fourteen he decides that it’s totally a good and honorable choice (his only choice actually) to go defend the realm in the freezing cold along with a bunch of criminals/derelicts/rejects of society

at which point he makes friends among said rejects and let’s remember that it’s the point where he actually has to do his first an only privilege when donal noye made him go like hey you were brought up with nobles these ppl are here because they stole bread, and that helps making him more into the person he is rn but like your tyopical fantasy hero who has had a shitty life doesn’t usually have to acknowledge that other people might have had it worse

then he goes on the Quest where he finds his first One True Love, and that’s where it turns even worse because usually the quest is where things start to go right for the Hero™, instead for jon they start to go wronger, because first he has to go undercover which pretty much tests most of his belief/code system, he falls in love with a girl he has to betray, half of his friends and his lord commander die along the way, while he’s off doing his thing winterfell gets taken/burned and robb dies when jon openly stated that he also was going to the wall to defend his family and keep them safe (yeaaah worked out real well), when he goes back to the wall he has to fight the people he lived with for months, the woman he loves dies in his arms and he can’t do anything about it and he’s aware it couldn’t have gone any other way, people put defending the wall on him and then put his loyalty in question, when stannis shows up with a legitimization (which is everything he ever wanted) he refuses because he doesn’t want to accidentally steal his siblings’s inheritance (which was what cat was so worried about hahaha) and actively chooses the crappy defending the realm life all over again. also in all this time his being Chosen™ hasn’t manifested or helped him in any way whatsoever - actually all his honor-moral code related baggage is what  moral dilemmas come from that. like, your usual chosen hero™ would always take the right decision and it all turns out good eventually, jon takes the morally right decision and it all turns SOUR eventually

at this point he finally gets elected LC, thanks to his friends also pitching in, which is about the one fantasy hero™ thing that’s happened for now. should be good, yes?

lol no, because he ends up with THAT hellish responsibility at sixteen, since he thinks that he has absolutely to be even better than that now and he has very specific notions about how you should lead and he knows he has to take unpopular decisions/decisions that he doesn’t necessarily like, he ends up either having to send his friends away forreal (sam) or detaching from them (pyp/grenn/the likes) and when as far as he knows he learns that his sister is married to ramsay he can’t do anything about it

never mind that it’s the same situation as when he had to pick the watch or robb in book one - he went there to defend his family and now being there actually prevents him from helping them in person. ops. meanwhile he’s trying to implement a new vision of things which is modern and smart and actually makes sense because why fighting the wildlings when you have ZOMBIES coming. your usual Chosen One™ would get people to approve just because he’s the Chosen One

instead jon gets stabbed to death - okay, that was also because he wanted to go get arya but it was the last straw, people were pissed over the wildlings plan first and foremost

so basically he’s gone through all the Chosen One™ steps but in reverse - he loses his family which did love him instead of finding another one that makes the first pale in comparison, he does find a new one who loves him but has to alienate most of its members for responsibility reasons as a consequence of what should have been the crowning achievement of his life choices (which eventually is NOT one), he falls in love and they don’t drag the UST forever but they never get a chance to be together without small print in between, he chooses the admittedly most masochistic life he could for his family as well and half of them die and he can’t do a thing for the other half, every other mentor-like figure he runs into after ned dies, instead of finding validation he ends up having to isolate himself and on top of everything HE STILL DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE™

so instead of his life going better the more he learns stuff and matures as a person, he gets murdered. by the people he trusts and who were supposed to be his new family. haha?

never mind that when he finds out he’s the Chosen One™ it won’t bring him closure because all he ever wanted was being full stark like his father/siblings and then bam he’s going to find out his father’s actually targaryen and what does that even mean to him?

on top of that being AA will just be a pain because I don’t believe for a second he’s not going to get leftover ptsd and who the hell is gonna help him deal with it? or how is he ever getting over his *brothers* murdering him? and people are going to ask stuff of him all over again and he’s gonna have to go slay a mythical monster and if I know grrm it’s not gonna be fun, pretty or cathartic FOR HIM

on top of that, Chosen Hero™ fulfills the prophecy and gets a realm to rule and everyone lives happily ever after. money is that if jon does get that realm (and I think he is because he has the best claim if he's legitimate and most likely it'll turn out he was on the targ side but ROBB also legitimized him so he has double the legitimization), he’s going to hate every second of it and he’ll take it because a) duty, b) literally no one else is available, and like this guy didn’t want to rule a realm or be a king or anything he just wanted to be a stark, and instead he’s going to have to after all that shit thanks to Magical And Noble Heritage he hadn’t even known he had and probably didn’t even want up to that point because since when jon wanted to be a targ? yeah since never

obviously I hope he manages to be somewhat happy regardless because the alternative is too miserable, but basically being a Chosen Hero™ is what makes jon’s life worse rather than better and the fact that hew went through all the regular self-discovery journey for the fantasy hero list doesn’t mean he’s not flipping that over in his sl. the fact that he stayed a decent person more or less throughout it and that he hasn’t turned into a bitter asshole also doesn’t change the main point XD

tldr: jon snow is not a typical fantasy hero because he deconstructs that trope into tiny little bits same as robb deconstructed the arthurian flawless king hero trope

now ^^^^^ THAT was what I originally wrote for that meta but adding on to what I said in those tags

okay so... there is a certain tendency to also make the chosen one™ special in the sense that he's kind of goals - good looking, rich or set to inherit, gallant, takes the initiative, he's like.. social or anyway immediately makes friends etc and all that jazz which jon... doesn't really fit

like jon is an introvert who immediately makes friends just with outcasts and his siblings also bc he feels like one but he's hardly a social butterfly and charms everyone wherever he walks by

I mean ffs says all that the only person he charmed in that sense is stannis who is the literal only person in charge in the books who is more introvert than him and has worse communication issues and appreciates ppl going straight to the point

on top of that in the book he looks like ned.... and arya looks like ned and ned isn't described as being particularly handsome that was brandon so he's not even like... I mean kit h. is v. pretty and I think he was a good choice for the role and I'll die on the hill that he was born to play that character and he did it well but book!jon doesn't have that kinda pretty face so the concept that he's the HOT alternative to anyone to me is kind of iffy bc he's not

he's shit at social interactions and at PR which is why robb and him would have been a key winning ticket like he has a better idea of the larger picture but robb would have actually made sure ppl didn't turn against them bc he actually was good at that but like he doesn't go around rallying armies in his name does he

the one time he's been with a girl it was ygritte and like he courted her without realizing it and then she had to pursue him and he barely knew wtf to do on top of the fact that they slept with ghost in the middle of them like a sword which..... is.... I mean sleeping with the sword in the middle was a thing to make sure the maiden stayed a maiden and he's the one who is like i CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVEN IF I WANT TO BECAUSE I'M TECHNICALLY SPYING ON THEM like... he's not... gallant-knight coded

never mind that the moment they do the do she basically does everything until he decides to try the oral which I mean... isn't exactly alphadominatingmale out of jon which is not a given with the trope he's supposed to represent like he's not smooth he's not suave he's like WHAT THE FUCK when ygritte tells him he has a pretty face bc most likely no one else told him that and he like... doesn't pursue people like that in general which is also not exactly 100% what that trope usually goes for

we can add that he has a lot of passive-aggressive little shit sarcasm in him that they didn't let him go for in the show but like... usually chosen heroes™ don't think what he thinks about selyse in general

we can also add that he's not automatically above being better than his position like... he doesn't take winterfell bc ygritte is dead but he did think he'd have taken the deal sansa or not if stannis had said he could marry her and not val and if she wasn't dead, he basically went off the rails at the dude he was fighting with thinking about robb telling him that he couldn't be lord of wf because he was a bastard and he's absolutely not in the frame of mind of 'well I was born a bastard who cares it doesn't define me'

he's obsessed to the point of unhealthy with actually being defined by it which is why he was better off with the wildlings aka the only idiots in the realm who don't gaf about that

and that's like... I mean usually if chosen ones™ have parental issues it's like 'you were an orphan and raised by asses who weren't your parents but your parents loved you and you'll find out at some point and you'll be happier for it and make your own family', jon is like... he has the mommy freudian issues of the century bc of how cat treated him, on the other side he's obsessed with living up to ned's/his father's name and he hates that it makes him not-belonging or that he feels like he doesn't even if he does with his siblings, and at the same time when the truth about it comes out he's going to get the cold shower of the century bc like - he's spent all that time thinking BUT DID MY MOTHER WANT ME WHO WAS MY MOTHER and he's going to find out of who it was and how he was born and honestly considering that lyanna most likely did regret running with rhaegar the moment he finds that out and that she died birthing him how is he going to feel? - also he spends his life wanting to live up to his 'father's' name aka ned aka someone known to be honorable to a fault and then it turns out his bio father is... the dude who started that entire rebellion not doing a very honorable thing? - also if jon*erys is a thing idt that he'd take 'I fell in love with my aunt' so nonchalantly as he did in the show tldr: he's never gonna get over his parental issues in a short time and when that particular brick hits him in the face it won't be pretty

like the entire point of jon is that he goes through all the chosenone™ cursus honorum as we'd call it in high school when studying latin but each step that means smth good for the usual chosenone™ to him is something bad, being one is not going to make his life better and throughout the entire thing he does not fit that stereotype when it comes to look, personality, basic traits and familial history and like hell he's going to have the happy ending tied up with the bow - like I think he gets a bittersweet one and eventually goes off with the wildlings bc he belongs there after being jon snow first of his name (bc like hell he's not reclaiming his bastard background at the end of this entire mess I'm eating my hat if he doesn't) after splitting the seven realms and fixing things but that's hardly the neat happy ending the chosenone™ usually gets so that's my two cents

... christ this was long *raises hands*

#jon snow #tagging for the lulz i guess #janie writes meta #ch: jon snow #long post for ts #tldr jon snow is a kurt cobain stan in disguise in westeros and chosenones™ aren't nirvana stan coded #and i'm dying on this hill xD

[v-hope]

»part forty one - priceless

»hobi’s girl

»jung hoseok x army!reader

after attending a bts concert and very clearly catching one of the members’ attention, you can’t help but get flooded with hate comments once people find your twitter account. who would’ve thought that would be the reason jung hoseok would find his concert girl, too.

a/n: helloo, this is one day earlier and also one hour earlier than usual, i know, but i already explained why 🤧 there isn’t much text interaction between seokie and y/n in this one bc they were together all day so like why would they text ya feel. bUT, i gotchu, fam 😤 smol drabble that i wrote at like 2am right under the cut 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

“Isn’t it weird how something so ordinary is so new to us?” you couldn’t help but point out with a light laugh as the two of you reached a bench, sitting down on it and pulling your intertwined fingers with his towards you, so that he would do the same.

Smiling at both your comment and the way your hand had tightened its hold on his, Hoseok nodded his head, moving slightly closer to you. “It’s been a eventful day, hasn’t it?” he joined in your amusement.

It was fair to say, it was.

Waking up earlier that morning to attend another meeting with him and his management before the statement was released, going through said statement a couple of times and suggesting a few changes, being there when it got posted on BigHit’s official page, still being there when they went through a good part of the comments to see what the general reaction was and how to proceed from now on, being practically mobbed by the paps that had somehow found out you and Hoseok were at the building... yeah, it had been a long, eventful day.

But now, however, it was just you and Hoseok, and no one else to disturb you. Just the way the two of you always wanted it to be like.

After getting lunch that day, the two of you had in fact headed towards the dorms like your boyfriend had let the rest know on the group chat. Nevertheless, as you drove past the quiet area he lived in, and your eyes fixed on that one huge and almost isolated park you would always see whenever you went to his place, the temptation of being alone together for just a little longer whilst also getting some fresh air, was way too strong to just ignore.

And so here you were now, for the first time ever in your relationship being able to be outside, together; having walked hand in hand through the entire place for what could’ve easily been hours, only enjoying each other’s company and admiring how peaceful it was right then, before you took a seat near where he had parked his car.

“I think it went well so far” you commented. “I mean, as well as it could go, at least”.

“Yeah” he agreed. “Although a lot of them didn’t exactly like the news, I’m glad the company made it clear not to mess with you. I think that’ll help a lot”.

“God, I hope so” you sighed over dramatically, earning a small chuckle from him.

“I think I’ll release a statement myself anyway...” he let you know.

“You will?” your head turned to him.

“Mhm” he confirmed. “I’m sure the company will ask me to at some point, given how many fans are demanding an explanation from me, so... the sooner, the better”.

You nodded understandingly. “Please don’t copy-paste Taehyung’s idea though”.

Hoseok laughed, shaking his head no before he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “I won’t, don’t worry about it”.

Allowing an adoring smile to take over your lips, you pressed a small kiss to his cheek — loving the way his eyes had turned into the shape of two crescent moons as he stared at you.

Your head snapped down to your pocket after feeling your phone buzz, taking it out and unlocking it to answer what you thought would be a text from either your best friend or one of the boys, trying hurry you and Hoseok back to the dorms — your eyebrows furrowing faintly at the name of your English classmate instead. Nonetheless, you decided to answer him right then anyway.

“Who are you talking to?” Hoseok asked out of curiosity after you had exchanged a couple of messages, softly letting his head rest on your shoulder and causing a smile to curve up your lips as your head leaned on his.

“Hosung” you let him know.

Not really knowing what to say to that, he just nodded — the way he kept his stare fixed on one of the trees on the other side of the park, when you knew he was dying to know what your classmate was saying to you, had a small giggle coming out of your mouth in a second.

“You know you can just read over my shoulder if you want, don’t you?” his eyes snapped up to you at your amused statement. “There’s nothing going on here that you can’t see”.

Watching the way he had rolled his eyes as he tried to suppress a smile, he just let his eyes fall on your phone after you had brought it closer to him, giving him a good view of it before you kept on typing.

“He’s offering to look after you at uni?” he wondered after one particular text Hosung had sent.

Reading the same as him, you nodded, biting your bottom lip before you glanced his way. “Unless that makes you uncomfortable, of course”.

“No, no” Hoseok was quick to deny, motioning with a nod of his head to your phone, as if trying to rush you into answering him. “I think that’d make me feel better, actually”.

“Really?” your eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah. I can’t be there with you… and you won’t take my offer of hiring you a bodyguard” he huffed, unconsciously wrapping his arm around your waist after you had snorted. “So it’s good that you have someone who can be there for you in a minute” his lips planted a small kiss to your shoulder before his head was once again resting on it. “As long as he doesn’t try anything weird though. Otherwise I will fight”.

You tilted your head back as a throaty laugh escaped your mouth, not wasting another second to softly press your lips to the crown of his head.

“Oh, I don’t think he will” you denied, scrolling up on your previous texts until you found the one you wanted to show him. “He said he stands no chance against you anyway”.

The smug smile that had just curved up your boyfriend’s lips, could only earn a snort from you, giving him a gentle push with your shoulder.

“What?” he asked, sitting up straight so he could get a better view of you as he squinted his eyes. “Was I not supposed to feel good about that?”

Amusedly rolling your eyes in defeat, you shoved your phone into your pocket before you stood up, causing his lost eyes and pouty lips to follow your figure.

“Where are you going?” he wondered.

“To the car? So we can go to the dorms?” you replied as if it was obvious, stretching your arm for him to take your hand. “We said we were getting lunch and would go there hours ago”.

“It hasn’t been that long” he shrugged, holding your hand nevertheless for you to help him up.

“The sun is about to set, you idiot” you pointed out, not being able to keep your laugh from coming out when he childishly poked your side in response. “They are so not gonna let us live it down once we get there”.

“This is the first time we get to be actually outside together though, and we’re only like three minutes away from the dorms” his fingers tugged at the sides of your jacket to pull you closer. “They won’t mind”.

However, as if on cue, the phone in his pocket started buzzing like crazy, letting you both know that was not the case at all, and causing your triumphant eyes to fix on his defeated ones.

“How much you wanna bet it’s Jimin” you raised one of your eyebrows.

“Come on,” Hoseok chuckled, intertwining his fingers with your so the two of you could make your way back to the car for once and for all. “We know it’s Jimin”.

tag list: @lets-keepit100 @aquietkerfuffle @hobicomeholla29 @sakura-uji @brinnalaine @thefickive @zxlla @dreamcatcherjiah @booklover240 @luneseok @randomkoalablog @seokssbagel @thestral-balerion @unadulteratedlyunique @pikapikaachuu @salty-for-suga @biaisezabini @extaevaganza @nerdycookiemonster-1222 @hanniiesuckle17 @btsxdoll @cvbachacbitch @dearest-sunshine @tirednation @shakes0peare @llovekoya @re-sugance @veonjun @yeontanie21 @notinmycomfortzone @slxtfortae @cherryjiminiee @creepysweet @hobi-love @betysotelo18 @zaryas @kpopgirlbtssvt @bubblegumcat229 @mygscafe @uxwi @lovelymultiwrites @rjsmochii @margaritafariasw @moccahobi @lidda @seoulgotmysoul @sunskook @jayhope88 @magicshop-myg @longlivebnc

#bts #bts imagines #jung hoseok #hoseok imagines #kpop #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #hoseok fanfic #bts scenarios #hoseok scenarios #bts fake texts #hoseok fake texts #bts social media au #hoseok social media au #bts x reader #jung hoseok reader #bts hoseok #hoseok

[christaline]

Hi hi I saw you have a crochet tag and was wondering if you crochet??? I followed you originally for gizz stuff but oh my gosh I've been looking for more people who crochet!! If you do crochet you can tell me all about your projects, I enjoy hearing about them and it gives me ideas!!

Hell yeah i crochet it’s one of my Special Interests. I like making skirts. I’m working on like 2 and a half of them. The first one I’m using this nice color changing yarn but i dont have a pic of it cuz I barely have started bc i am focusing on my other skirt.

Completely forgot what this kind if crochet is called lol. Buuuut it’s like a little graph and you have to like...fill in boxes to make a picture. Imagine a graphgan but with one color lol. I mean i could do more than one color and i very might do that later!!! But! Not today!

Here’s the graph i am using. I like printing patterns out. At some point I’ll put them all in a book lol. Each box is made of a ch3 and filled boxes are 1dc at the start, 2 to fill it. So 3dc plus like...1 that starts the next box. That confused me for a while lol. But it’s extremely easy. You could do ch4 with boxes of 3dc and it would be wider. But I always do it this way. The pattern has a part for making it a dress but i am not going to follow it. I plan on making a crop top with this to match. As you can see, it’s not an even increase so it’s gonna be kinda...flat ish? I usually do really flowy so eh. I am using:

1.60mm hook that i keep using. I actually only use the bigger hooks (I consider anything above 3mm big) when i make like shawls and hats and sweaters. I prefer small hooks with mercerized cotton or lace weight yarn, anything above weight 2 yarn is...annoying!!

I also made this one but i have no idea what to do with it? I messed up and uh. It’s fucking huge? It was my first time using a pattern i wrote myself and the increases are SO off that crocheting around once takes 4hrs lol. It’s got so many ruffles and only goes down to my just above my knees! I don’t like i am gonna finish it💀. How i got this pattern is a LONG story but if you know any of Mary Croché’s work on instagram I literally just stared at her stuff and copied that i just did NOT count her increases lol. Now that she has her charts for sale I’m probably gonna buy one and try again tho!!!

The other stuff i made i dont have pics of but I’ve made a few shirts and sweaters, a shit ton of winter shawls and hats (i make a beanie almost every year bc i loose them💀). I only make scarves for others. I hate making scarves! And i made my boyfriend a rug but he doesn’t use it much😑

(Yeah i fucked up the rug but...it works!)

THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!! You can talk to me abt crochet any time i will never Shut Up about it lol. Tell me about your stuff!!! Show me pics! I want to do a detailed graphgan at some point in my life!

Bonus bonus! The first time i tried to make this red skirt when i was like...idk maybe 19? Possibly 20? I didn’t know it was meant to be down in the round and I attempted to attach them separately. Oh what a silly thing to do lol.

#crochet tag #also: i dont believe in blocking #i refuse #especially for clothes

[kyidyl]

Kyidyl Explains Bones - Part 3

Well, I had this halfway done and then TUMBLR ATE IT, so let me start again.  UGH.  

(These posts are collected under the KyidylBones tag. Do with that information what you will, lol.) 

So what are we getting into today? Sex determination! 

Ethical Note: I’m adding this bc not everyone who sees this post saw my post yesterday and this is important info, especially on Tumblr.  Anthropologists of all stripes are well aware that sex and gender are extremely complicated.  Trust me, we know.  But we still do sex determination for a few reasons.  First, because missing persons databases are arranged on a male/female binary, and if we’re comparing a set of remains to that database to identify the remains then we need that info.  Second, demographic info for populations that have disappeared is important, even if those populations are historical.  This might shock you (<--sarcasm), but written records are usually either lacking or inaccurate.  Third, if we know the sex of the skeleton we can compare that to the grave goods and learn some interesting cultural things, including possibly being trans, because none of the signs of being trans survive physically in the skeleton.  So I am going to be using male/female binary language, but it isn’t to exclude the wide variety of sexes and genders that don’t exist on that binary, it’s because it’s what I’ve got to work with.  And if you have questions about this, feel free to ask, but please be respectful.  

Alright, so there are some vocab words for today’s post and I had them all nicely written out in an easy to read paragraph, but it got eaten, so I’m just gonna present them in list fashion this time: 

Characteristic - All physical markers of human variation exist on a spectrum because humans are varied and we invented the categories to begin with.  If something is characteristic of, say, a male? It means that it is very, very distinctly male.  It matches the stereotypical expectation of what you’d see in a male.  It’s a standard for an obvious example of a given thing.  

Landmark - A landmark on your bones is a feature of the bones that is always in the same place.  We use this to help us identify a bone and to help us know what side it is on.  IE, your lesser trochanter is a bump on your femur (thigh bone) that is on the inside towards the back.  It’s always in that spot, so we know which direction it should face and ergo which side it would be on.  Landmarks are unique to the bone in question.  

Foramen - A hole on a bone.  The big one in your skull that your spinal cord goes through is the foramen magnum and it literally means big hole.  But there are a lot of little ones all over your skeleton so your nerves and blood vessels can do to your skeleton what the weirwood did to Bryden Rivers.  I said what I said. ;) 

Bilateral - Both sides.  Humans have bilateral symmetry and so one side is symmetrical (externally and WRT your skeleton, but not always your organs.) to the other.  You can split us down the middle and the two sides are basically the same.  

Ok, so there’s another set of terms that you need to know, but I’m going to be copying and pasting this into every post going forward so I’m making it separate.  Anyone who works with any kind of anatomy uses these terms to be very specific about the location of something on the body.  They are: 

Anterior/Posterior - Front and back respectively.  I remember them because my mom used to say posterior when she didn’t want to say butt, and because A comes before P the way front comes before back.  Sometimes people say dorsal and ventral, and I remember that because a dorsal fin is on a whale’s back.  

Proximal/Distal - Near and far vertically in relationship to the center of your body.  I remember it because one end of the bone is in close proximity to me and the other one is distant.  

Medial/Lateral - Near and far horizontally in relationship to the center of your body.  I remember it because medial is closer to the middle of my body, and lateral isn’t medial.  Also, if you are reading left to right L comes before M and you’d get to a lateral body part before a medial one.  

So, where to begin? How do we know what sex people were assigned at birth from just their skeleton? Let’s start with what everyone is most familiar with: 

The Pelvis

The pelvis of an adult human is a really common thing for an archaeologist to find.  And by the time we find it, it’s usually in three pieces (excluding your tailbone aka last vertebra).  Your left and right hip bones, called the innominates, and your sacrum.  Mind you, the pelvis is made up of a number of bones, but they all fuse in adulthood except these three (fun fact: I’m so used to using the individual names for them that I had to *google* the word innominate.), so this is what we usually find.  If it’s a kid, they still survive well because they’re thick, heavy bones, but they aren’t fused.  Another fun fact, the bumps of bone that you feel under your ass are called your ischium and I’m only telling you that because I think it’s a fun word to say.  Your hop bones, like the actual entirety of the flat bladed part at the top, that’s called the Illium.  I like that word too.  Aaanyway, here’s a human pelvis: 

(Source)

These are actual bone specimens in the top down view, both are women, but they are of different ethnic origin.  

(Source)

This is a cast (IE, plastic), front view of a male pelvis.  

You can see those 3 pieces I’m talking about.  The only joint there that remains unfused is the sacroiliac joint, IE, where the two halves of the pelvis join the sacrum.  However! You sacrum is technically a series of fused vertebrae and your spinal cord runs almost all the way to the very tip.  There are some conditions which cause these not to fuse, or to not fuse properly, or to not properly encase the spinal cord and it causes all KINDS of issues.  But anyway, yeah, your sacrum is a really tough hunk of bone because it carries a lot of weight.  The bit in the front is called the pubic symphysis and, despite what certain tumblr posts would have you believe, having children does NOT leave a notch on the inner side of it from the muscle tearing away tiny chunks of the bone.  In fact, it is hotly debated whether or not pregnancy leaves behind any skeletal evidence at all.  

Alright, so basically speaking, females make da babies and males don’t, so the different equipment is differently shaped......

.....wait, no, that’s not right.  Let’s back up.  Male and female humans are differently proportioned and their center of gravity is, on average, different.  This is the whole thing about men having upper body strength and women having thighs that can crush watermelons.  This is on *average* (I will be saying a lot about averages in these posts.) true.  And so the physics of the forces exerted on your bones is different.  Males are top-heavy, and so their pelvis is shaped in response to their gate and muscle structure because the pelvis supports and distributes the weight of your entire body.  And bipedalism means that the shape of the pelvis is very, very different depending on the weight distribution.  These changes to the pelvis are really obvious, which is why we can tell from just a few bones whether or not a hominin was bipedal.  It changes the *entire* body.  

It is true though that the pelvis of a female is different than a male, because a female pelvis has to be able to support the weight of a developing child while still allowing the individual to walk.  So the interaction of average size, a uterus, and the bipedal gate means that male and female pelvises are a different shape.  

Here is a comparison: 

(Source)

So firstly, that angle is called the sub-public angle, and because a females pelvis is wider and flatter than a male’s (when viewed from the front) it’s wider in the front.  This also gives any babies more room.  Secondly, you can see the difference in the tilt of the sacrum - in the female you can’t see the tailbone.  This, again, is due to the confluence of weight distribution and the necessity of passing a baby’s head through that space.  It would be a lot harder to push it out if you had a tailbone in the way.  Lastly, you can see that the shape of the circle when you look top down and bottom up are different - wider on the woman because of the same reasons I’ve already mentioned.  There is one more major difference between the male and female pelvis, and that’s the sciatic notch: 

(Source)

Characteristic of male on the left, intermediate in the middle, and female on the right (and dang, she was young, too.).  Thinner is male, wider is female.  Usually you can fit your thumb in a female’s notch but barely or not at all in a male.  I personally find the subpubic arch and the sciatic notch the easiest to use because, fun fact #2, those 3 sections are a bitch to hold together with your hands and that makes it hard to see the other shapes.  The amount of sacrums and pelvic bones I’ve accidentally dropped while trying to determine sex....it’s a lot, ok? It’s a lot.  I only have two hands and pelvises are big.  

There are also several less obvious ways of determining sex from a skeleton, so you guys should definitely visit the source for the above image because they go into it deeper and there are several excellent images of public bones.  

So how else do we determine sex? The next easiest way is from the skull, because the features are distinct and skulls survive well.  

The Skull

In my opinion the easiest landmark to use on a skull for sex determination is the jaw.  There are several features of the jaw that can be used here - and, mind you, when determining sex we measure every small and large sex-linked feature according to a scale and then average it all out.  We never look at any single thing (although sometimes the individual has something so characteristic that you can’t help it.  The individual in my position has a brow like a neanderthal, so it was pretty obvious.).  Anyway, there are several features here but the easiest is to look at the shape of the lateral distal posterior portion of the jaw.  It’s called the masseteric tuberosity.  Basically, it’s a little bit of bone that sticks out of the back of your jaw.  It’s one of the attachment points of the masseter aka chewing muscles attach.  Because males have stronger muscles pulling on that part of the jaw and exerting more force, it flares out further for them when you look at it from the front, like this: 

(Source)

It’s that sticky-outy thing thing that I circled in red.  Here is an example of the same thing on females: 

(Source)

Female jaws are rounder, and so that bit is less defined, flares out less, and is not as sharp as it is on males.  And this is a reminder that these measures aren’t absolutes - humans have a lot of variance in them.  The female asian and the male on the right both have somewhat atypical structures, while the female european and the two other males have a very characteristic structure.  

The two other easiest to identify are the shape of the brown line and the shape of the chin (the mental protuberance).  Here is an image of the comparison: 

(Source: Pinterest, but this images are from the Human Bone Manual text that I use and I used this image so I wouldn’t have to make my own. :P) 

You can see in the profile that the female skull has a higher, more vertical forehead with less pronounced brow ridges.  If you look, you can also see that her chin protrudes less in profile, and is softer and less pronounced in the frontal view.  The angle under her teeth is less severe.  

So these three things, the chin, the brow, and the jaw, are the easiest to identify the most likely to be characteristic of the sex of the individual.  But, if you compare the images I’ve used here you’ll also notice that there are other differences in the skull.  Females have more of a slope to the bottom of their jaw, the bump on the back of their heads (the occipital protuberance) tends to be far less pronounced; and this is the case for all muscle attachments generally speaking.  On average, males are more easily able to build muscle mass and are larger, and so their muscles pull harder on their skeletons and create larger muscle attachments.  The round, blunt thing to the right of the back of the jaw that sticks out from the skull (the mastoid process), is also at a different angle and is larger in males.  This is another case of the muscles being bigger and stronger - the mastoid process is where several of your jaw and neck muscles attach.  

There you have it, then.  The easiest ways to tell the sex of a skeleton.  :) 

This post has been approved by Gage the science doggo: 

#science #anthropology #skeletons #human remains #human skeletons #education #KyidylBones #archaeology #bioarchaeology #humans #bones #human bones

[just-a-cup-of-anxietea]

Tag 9 people to learn about their interests!

Tagged by @daydreaming-optimist 💖Thanks twin!

MUSIC

Fave genre? depends on: the weather, the time of year, the most recent artist(s) I have listened to, and the vibe of the book I last picked up. (But movie scores are always great)

Fave artist? Tay Swift or Cristophe Beck

Fave song? Depends on the vibe I'm seeking in a particular moment. Thomas Newman's Nemo Egg is probably one of my all-time favs. Moonlight Sonata too tho. AHH THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD SONGS.

Most listened song recently? One by Sleeping At Last

Song currently stuck in your head? Say Goodbye by Katrina Rose Dideriksen and Rob Rokicki

5 fave lyrics?

“Grace requires nothing of me." -One by Sleeping at Last

“Write what you know so they say; all I know is I don't know how to write or the right way to write it." -Watch What Happens by Kara Lindsay

"I wanna break every rule and cross every line. I wanna show all the stars how stars oughta shine. I wanna do as I please and knock the world to its knees, and go wherever the breeze is going" -Next Stop Anywhere by Alan Menken and Glenn Slater (+ Mandy Moore, Eden Espinosa, and Zachary Levi)

"I may fail but it doesn't mean that I won't try" - Try by Rob Rokicki (+ Jorrel Javier, Chris McCarrell & Kristin Stokes)

"Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die; I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you. Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry. I'm setting off, but not without my muse" -the lakes by Taylor Swift

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

Fav book genre? travelogue or sci-fi probably?

Fav writer? Rick Riordan, Andy Weir, Jacques-Yves Cousteau, or Rachel Carson

Fav book? This is going to change in seven seconds. Life of Pi by Yann Martel

Fav book series? The Lunar Chronicles, PJO, Gaia Girls (going wayyy back to childhood)

Comfort book? Jessica Day George books (specifically the Princesses of Westfalin Trilogy), PJO, The Kane Chronicles, A Wrinkle in Time

Perfect book to read on a rainy day? Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell

Fave characters? how much time you got? Annabeth Chase, Rachel Dare, Mark Watney, Hermione Granger, Cress Darnel (I swear I'm not copying your answers @daydreaming-optimist we just have so much in common it's ridiculous), Lazlo Strange, Dr. Ellie Sattler (it took me forever to type that bc my L key glitched)... I'm gonna leave it at seven. Seven seems a good number.

5 quotes from your fave book(s)** that you know by heart?

“The planet has survived everything in its time. It will certainly survive us.” (Jurassic Park, Micheal Crichton)

“Dream up something wild and improbable" (Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor)

“The sediments are a sort of epic poem of the earth.” (The Sea Around Us by Rachel Carson)

"It's no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then." (Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll)

"Borders? I have never seen one. But I have heard they exist in the minds of some people." and "Otherwise he was glad we had missed our landing, for he still had three books to read." (Kon Tiki, Thor Heyerdahl)

**I added the (s) there. That wasn't in the original question but I wrote all these quotes and THEN realized my mistake. But I liked the quotes too much to change it to book singular.

hardcover or paperback* | buy or rent* | standalone novels or book series* | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

*depends on the book

TV AND MOVIES

Fave tv/movie genre? fantasy, documentary, sitcom

Fave movie? Like favorite book, this also fluctuates every seven seconds. Rn tho? Jumanji: The Next Level

Comfort movie? Ratatouille, Finding Nemo (p much anything Disney) , The Princess Bride, old Barbie movies, The Sound of Music

Movie you watch every year? Tangled

Fave tv show? Uhhhhh rn? The Good Place

Comfort tv show? Friends, The Good Place, and The Office (I know I know. very standard answers)

Most rewatched tv show? Friends (I'm seeing some overlap in these answers hmm)

5 fave characters? This is simply impossible. I love too many. Mary Margaret-Blanchard, Belle (from Beauty and the Beast), Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Chidi Anagonye, Woody Boyd, Katniss Everdeen (that's SIX i know but god I want to say SO MANY MORE SSKJGKJH)

tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

tagging (no pressure): @the---hermit @kakooii @oh-toasty @c-avenged @of-the-elves @jellyfishwaters @unashamedly-enthusiastic @sous-la-mousse @alienlamp

#baking buddy #daydreaming-optimist #tag game #get to know me