#I'm inclined to agree however I do as I please. and I'm pleased. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

callofdudes · 1 year

Text

What are you reading??

A/N: this was requested by @thicc-plum so I hope y'all enjoy my friend. This took way too long, please let me know if you catch any spelling mistakes.

This includes 141, Alejandro & Rodolfo.

Summary: The reader gets caught reading a smut book and the boys tease the hell out of her.

CW: Brief depictions of sexual interactions, the boys 'teasing' you.

Y'all really want a part 2 huh... I've made you a lil part 2 for y'all.

You were sitting alone at a table in the canteen. Lunch was almost over but you hadn't busied yourself with food. You were sitting in the corner with one of your books in hand. You always loved to read, but this book in particular you had refrained from reading around the others. It was... A different kind of book. Not one with little swordsmen going on long adventures to sweep away their friends from the perils of danger.

It was one with tension, heat. The kind that nestled in your stomach and bubbled up through your chest, making you feel a small, almost tangible piece of the intimacy you read about.

You were engrossed in the book. The atmosphere around you was drowned out as you read.

His hand guided her thigh, skirt riding up past her hip and their eyes met. Their breaths tangled in the warm bedroom, sweat soaking into the sheets-

"What are you reading??"

You gasp and slam your book shut. Your hands tremble as you push it away from you.

Johnny smirks, laughing as he sits down. "Oh you should see your face!"

You scoff. "Not funny Johnny."

Johnny grabs the book from your trembling hands and examines the cover.

"Oh~ what is this risque piece of artwork??" He flips through the pages, reading over some of the sentences. You attempt to grab the book back but Johnny puts his elbow up to keep you away while he reads.

His eyes go wide. "Woah!! That's some descriptive oral- my goodness!"

"Johnny!!" You jump and grab the book back, pulling it to your chest.

Your cheeks go red. "Don't tell the others, please??"

"Depends, can I borrow the book??"

"What are you going to do with it??"

"Read it, obviously. It looks good."

He gives you his signature smirk and you can't help but feel inclined to agree. You grumble under your breath. "whatever, I'll finish and then you can read it. But please return it!!"

Johnny nods. "Of course."

"By the way, you're late for your meeting with Price. You don't want me to tell him you're late because of an innocent little book, would you??"

He grins. "Wouldn't want dear old captain to know you're doing such naughty little things." He squeezes your thigh.

He stands from his chair.

Your cheeks burn redder, but the time manages to take your attention.

You look at your watch and curse. "Don't tell anyone Johnny! I'm serious!!"

He winks at you as he walks away. "You can count on me y/n!"

You grumble and hold your book close. Why on earth would Johnny want to read it?? Was he messing with you?? Or was he actually interested.

You rush out of the canteen and shove your book in your bag. You just hope Johnny wouldn't tell anyone what he saw you reading.

You will admit, yes, you had it coming. You weren't doing your paperwork as it had gotten too boring too quickly and you'd given up for a bit. No one likes doing paperwork. The only ones who didn't complain about it happened to be Price, Ghost, and Gaz. You were none of them.

So you'd kicked up your feet and started to read your book. It was a book you'd gotten on leave and you had kept it fairly secret from the others, it wasn't a book you wanted them to know about.

It was better than doing paperwork. And much more fun.

You must have lost track while reading however, getting too caught up in the endless pages of sticky hot mess.

"He latched onto her neck, sucking a deep hickey into her supple throat. She cried out his name softly into the night, arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders-"

There was a knock on the door.

You shot up, scrambling immediately to bring your feet off your desk and straighten up. You slam your book back into the desk drawer.

"Come in!"

Price enters, making you gulp.

"Y/n, we haven't seen you for a while, I wanted to see how things are coming along in here."

He sees the enormous pile of paperwork on your desk and crosses his arms. You immediately look down and away, knowing you would probably be in trouble for this.

He sighs and comes around the corner of the desk, seeing the still open drawer with your book in It. He sees the very risque cover and pulls it out before you can stop him.

"Was this what had your attention??"

You gulp, getting anxious as he flips through the pages.

He hums thoughtfully. He flips the pages and reads through some of the things, his facial expressions changing with each new scenario played out in the book.

He eventually closes it and places it in one of his pockets.

"Captain-"

"Shh, I've seen enough. If this is what you'd like to occupy your time with, very well then."

"I'm sorry."

He tuts. "Be a good girl and finish your paperwork. When you're done, we can discuss this little book of yours."

Your cheeks burn red and you look away.

"Yes Captain."

"That's a good girl."

Price walked off, leaving a heavy feeling in your stomach. You had a weird new motivation to finish your paperwork though.

The evening was quiet and the others were out. It was just you and Gaz on base and you were relishing in the quiet environment. Wrapped up in a blanket, the fireplace crackling a few feet away from you, nothing better.

With a book in hand the world could only be perfect. Your eyes feel tired, even as you read the book that always makes your stomach drop and your emotions rise.

You thought Gaz had gone to bed, so you felt comfortable reading it without the others around. You would always read this book in your room, it never saw the light of day around the guys.

"He whispered low in her ear, nipping at the corner of her lobe. His hands groped down across her collar, fingers tangling in her necklace..."

You continued to read, barely registering the creak of the floorboards. You'd assumed it was the house settling since you hadn't heard the door. Nor had you noticed the shadow bast behind you, soft brown eyes reading each delicately picked word with you.

Suddenly, you feel breathing near your ear. Your heartbeat quickens and your fingers feel tense. The feeling in your stomach growls hotter with each second.

"That seems a little naughty to be reading out here, don't you think sweetheart?"

You jump, nearly screaming as a voice cuts through your concentration, shattering the perfect dream of being wrapped in an embrace just as addictive as the words in your book.

Gaz grins, his hand touching your shoulder and running down your arm to flip the page of the book.

"K-Kyle- I didn't realize you were-"

"Shh. Read it out loud."

Your cheeks turn deep red. "W-what-??"

"Read it out loud to me sweetheart."

Your heart rate quickens and your voice catches in your throat. You want to say yes just as badly as you want to say no. But the way Kyle strokes his thumb over your hand made you willing.

"S-sure..."

Kyle hums. "Good. I think you'll want to finish this next chapter before the others return. You wouldn't want them to hear all the things you've been reading about."

You gulp, but you reluctantly start to read.

You couldn't sleep. So naturally in the early hours of the morning when you figured no one else was awake, you turned to the kitchen for a snack.

You patter through the hallway with your book in hand. You turn on the kitchen light and make yourself some tea to soothe your body, considering you were sore from the lack of sleep.

You sat down at the kitchen table with your tea and opened your book. The cover was bright red with dazzling shiny line work around two figures. One holding the other in a more suggestive manner. Each chapter displaying a new set of characters put through taboo and risque situations. All of them leading to a spicy climax.

Literally.

You sunk into the quiet atmosphere and started to read. Your eyes drowned into the words, hands holding the book firmly.

"He pulled her back, his large hand wrapped tightly around her throat. His sneer could almost look evil to anyone who wasn't her. Treated like a doll in his large hands, putting so much trust into his punishments."

You gulp, not realizing how heavy your breathing had gotten until a hand wraps around your throat.

It catches you so off guard you whine. Thumb and forefinger pressing into the sensitive parts under your jaw, making your insides coil and twist.

You bite your lip, hands trembling.

Warm breath whisps over your cheek and Ghost's rough Manchester voice breaks the silence.

"I always knew you were into some weird shit."

His other hand reaches out and takes the book from you, inspecting the cover.

"Ghost-"

His hand tightens on your throat, making you moan quietly.

He hums, flipping through some of the pages.

Your cheeks start to burn, watching out of the corner of your eye as he flips. You can't see his face, you can't gauge his reaction. All you know is his hand is wrapped so nicely around your throat, body hidden in the shadows it makes you feel as small as the girl in the story.

He gets to a certain page and chuckles. "You are into some weird shit."

You grab his wrist, wanting to pry him away and wanting him closer. It feels like a dream how it is all playing out, you are scared you want more.

He places the book down and squeezes your throat, getting another soft moan out of you.

He lets go and chuckles. "I could do better than he can."

It makes you want to pass out. He lets you go and when you turn around he's already walking away. Your arms and legs are shaking but you rush after him, wanting to know what he meant.

He doesn't lock his door when he disappears, and you know all too well it's an invitation into the book you'd just been reading.

(also I love this gif, look at Rodolfo just effortlessly toss that crate- boy you are amazing and I love you)

Look, everyone on base knew you were a little freaky at times. It was no secret to anyone. And it also wasn't a secret you might have a teensy tiny little thing for your colonel and the sergeant major.

That was not the point however.

You had just finished up a long day of training with the Vaqueros. You'd been out all afternoon, which was why you were a bit surprised you were being called into Alejandro and Rodolfo's office for a little chat.

What this chat was about, you weren't entirely sure.

But you finished up your routines and set off for their office.

You knock on the door, hearing Alejandro's voice beckon you in. When you open the door you're greeted by both Alejandro and Rodolfo. Alejandro is sitting while Rodolfo is standing next to him with something in his hands.

You would know that velvet patterned trophy book anywhere.

Your blood turns cold.

"Take a seat y/n." Alejandro smiles at you with that smile. The one that makes your heart flutter and your stomach flop.

You nod and take a seat. "What's this about?"

Rodolfo leans over and places the book in front of you. "Look familiar? It has your name written on the inside cover."

You gulp and nod, your cheeks going a bit red. "Yes sir sergeant, I know the book quite well."

"I think you would, considering how worn it, must get read a lot."

By now Rodolfo has come around to your side, one hand snaking up your arm to your shoulder and squeezing the muscles.

You gulp again.

Alejandro opens the book and flips through the pages. "Such a filthy book y/n, there's only one reason you could read this book so much."

You look away bashfully.

"Does it give you a high, Y/n??"

"N-no colonel!"

Alejandro stands and flips to a certain page. He taps the frame of the book and bends down in front of you, guiding your gaze back to his with his thumb and forefinger.

"Care to explain this then?"

You look down at the page he points to, you know it well. Rereading it over and over. It had crinkled edges from your sweaty fingers and dirt makes from the small traces your nails would leave.

You reread the words you practically knew by heart.

"She cries loudly, voice broken into sobs. The man behind her keeps a firm grip in her hair and tugs her back against him. The second man gazes down into her teary eyes, letting her breathe a fresh breath of air before plunging back into her throat."

Your cheeks were red enough, tainted deeper when you saw the scribbled names of your colonel and sergeant major at the bottom of the page.

Rodolfo's hand curls in your hair, his soft voice near your ear. "Considere esto su castigo por leer tal suciedad."

Your brow wobbles, but you can't run from them, you never could.

5K notes · View notes

cinnamonest · 1 year

Text

Yandere twst - Kalim Al-Asim

Taking this as an opportunity to talk about my BOY my LOVE my ANGEL

I'm making not quite a profile but more of a general HCs post? This is similar to the one I did for Floyd, will probably make more in the future

Also Prefect!Darling because it just makes sense here I suppose, but prior to book 5, and pretend Grim is just... off doing his own thing

For once I'm doing a dubcon/consensual/semi consensual up until a point because I like the dynamic of "I liked you initially and agreed to a consensual relationship at first but now you're going too far and freaking me out" which I feel is a dynamic I don't touch on often enough so I'm changing that >:3

//dubcon, yandere, alcohol consumption/one-sided drunk sex, dark content, fem darling, impreg mentions

Also go follow @inkblot22 !!

-----------

You can't really go a long time on campus without knowing of Kalim. Not necessarily knowing him personally, but knowing of him, seeing him, hearing people mention him, being generally aware of him. Even if it weren't for his housewarden status, his personality and outgoingness tends to make him a well-known individual. Not to mention the degree to which he goes out of his way to meet people. Every time he sees a person he doesn't know, he usually takes the time to engage with them, and will at least know their name and face by the time the conversation ends.

Said encounter can be jarring; after all, you'll just be minding your business when some stranger comes bounding over with a startlingly loud voice and bright eyes and more energy than a wind turbine. If you're not the sort to be inclined to conversation with people you barely know, it's that much worse, although he can really tire out even the most extroverted of people anyway.

But that's the sort of person he is, that's what everyone else says, that's what you witness early on, so, you wouldn't think much of it, give it no real thought.

Not that he's a particularly self-aware person himself. He's prone to following whims and impulses, not stopping to think about the implications and meanings nor the consequences nor the way his actions and words will be perceived.

Your reaction to his presence is like that of most people -- a little bit overwhelmed by his energy, but the fact that he's so sincere and warm-hearted makes it impossible to really dislike him.

However, very early on, you do end up having to deal with his energy quite a bit, after you manage to get assigned some sort of project together, one random day during class. But still, it's not something you think much of. If anything, you're mostly just glad that it's someone you've already met, and that you got put with a rather genial person, when it could have been an unpleasant person. He's already talking rapidly about his vision for said project by the time you leave that day, so you exchange numbers, agree to meet the next day, and return to your own dorm.

It's a small project. Doesn't take too long, you just meet after class two days in a row, but each time, you leave totally exhausted. He's just so loud and so high-energy, it drains you. Still, who are you to complain? He's too sweet to be upset about it. Besides, it's just for a few days. Although he's quite talkative in general, you seem to really trigger a positive reaction in him when you casually inquire about something he's wearing, which then turns into a few questions about his homeland, out of pure curiosity. His eyes seem to light up, and he gets very enthusiastic talking all about it, seemingly pleased that you would want to know. A fairly normal interaction, and you're glad it seemed to make him so happy.

He seems to bond with you over that event, even though you didn't think you really got to know each other that well or anything. Regardless, he now comes to sit beside you in that class each day. Not that you mind. Even if he has so much energy, he's forced to be fairly quiet and still during the class itself (although he still does try to talk to you, which has resulted in the professors having to tell him to be quiet on multiple occasions).

You don't mind, either, when he begins to seek you out for lunches, and after class. In fact, he quickly endears himself to you. It just happens naturally, he's good at doing so without intending to. How could you not like him, really? Sure, he can be loud and a bit overbearing, but he's so sweet and friendly and genial. He makes for a good friend, and you're rather grateful to have another familiar face and someone to rely on in the enigma of a situation you've found yourself in with this whole place. He gets along well with pretty much anyone he talks to as well, so you don't have to worry about him not mingling well with whoever else you might have with you or be talking to.

All in all, you think very little of his presence. He doesn't stand out to you or hold any greater significance to you than any of the other people you've become acquainted with.

...But that gradually begins to change. Not by any will of your own, but rather, because he essentially forces his way into omnipresence in your life.

He nearly gives you a heart attack the first morning you groggily make your way out the front door of Ramshackle just to be met with him standing right there. Yawning and sleepy, but still smiling. His walk to class takes him right by here anyway, figured he should start waiting for you!

It's a bit too much for your comfort, but such a thing aligns with the person you've come to know him to be, and really, it's a very considerate and kind gesture, isn't it? It may be a bit overbearing, but he has such good intentions, and what kind of person would be ungrateful for someone's kindness like that? In fact, you're rather pleasantly surprised he would consider you to be on such a level of friendship despite not having known each other all that long. Thus, you do your best to smile back and thank him for the gesture. It's not like it's a long walk to class anyway.

It becomes a fast routine. He's there in the mornings. He's there when classes let out for the lunch period, he manages to find you in the halls and get a few minutes of conversation in during the time between classes whenever possible. He's there at the end of the day, usually he keeps inviting you to the pop music club (or rather, the chatting and hangout spot that takes place in what's supposed to be the pop music club). But once more, you're grateful for the company and opportunity to become acquainted with others, and it's not like it takes that much time. He always bids you farewell at the end of the club's designated time, so, you get to then go home to your more tranquil dorm environment. Tiring, yes, but you don't dislike the time you spend with them at all, they're very pleasant to be around.

Likewise, although you might have had a nice relaxing evening at home planned, you gladly accept the extension of hospitality and gesture of kindness by saying yes to the invitation to come by the Scarabia dorm. Apparently they all have big dorm-wide social events on Friday nights and Saturday nights where everyone sits around and eats and drinks and talks. It's very pleasant. Again, another very tiring ordeal, but everyone is so upbeat and friendly with you, and you do have fun each time you go. Which starts off being every now and then, and quickly becomes each week. Not that he keeps asking, but rather, he seems to start assuming you'll come, mentioning later tonight or when you get there in conversation and the like.

It's nice. It's a kind gesture. It's something you should be thankful for. But... it's just getting to be more than you can handle.

One Friday in particular, as you walk out of class and back towards the dorms, serves as a bit of a breaking point. You hate to hurt his feelings or anything, but you're utterly exhausted from a rather rough week. You feel a twinge of frustration when he starts talking about the upcoming night as per usual, which would now be in just a matter of a few hours.

You take a deep breath.

Actually, Kalim...

You tell him in the nicest way you can, that you're very, very tired, and don't think you have the energy to be interacting with a bunch of people, in those exact words. You brace yourself to feel a little guilty at his disappointment.

But no, he just smiles. That's fine! Don't worry. You go on ahead and go back to your dorm, and he'll be back in just a little while.

You nod. Oh, thank y--

Wait.

You pause, start to question, but when you tilt your head up, he's already run off, rushing back to his own dorm.

...'be back'?

You don't like the implications of that wording. Still, you groggily shuffle your way back to your dorm, not bothering to undress for the day, seeing as you have a feeling you won't be left alone... at least you get about half an hour of rest in before he comes barging into Ramshackle without so much as a warning knock.

Carrying what appears to be containers of food. Can't let you go hungry! Besides, you're tired, so you probably wouldn't have the energy to make any for yourself, so he just picked up some of the food that was being made for the event.

You stand quiet and still for a few moments, taking it all in, but manage to stutter out some thanks as you take it out of of his hands. Was he just coming to drop that off, or...?

Apparently not. As he wanders over and plops down on your couch (still talking, although you're too tired to even really process what he's saying), it becomes clear he's not going anywhere.

At first, you feel a bit of frustration, but then again, you do like him, he's fun to be around, and he went out of his way to be so helpful to you... when you think about it like that, you feel a bit guilty for even being frustrated in the first place. Besides, he's more calm and less loud when it's just the two of you, and not a full crowd, so it should be easier. You end up talking a while about nothing in particular, and at the end of the night (when after quite a few attempts to hint that you're very tired, he finally seems to get it and heads home), you find that you were glad he did that for you.

Yes, you're very grateful for the companionship. You become more and more used to him and his ways with time, anyway, as the days go on, as you spend more and more time together, and as he starts sitting next to you with each class.

He tends to invade your personal space a bit, but as with everything else, it's well-intentioned and you can't be too upset about it. He tends to forget his textbook as a regular occurrence, and so you end up sharing one, moving the chairs closer to meet in the middle so you can both look over it better. He's very upbeat and lively as always throughout the classes, especially at the 8 a.m. class, when you're really, really not quite mentally ready to deal with his energy just yet... but you manage.

He becomes more affectionate over time, too. Some of his affectionate intentions tend to backfire, though. Namely, gifts. It's a default way of his to try and earn people's favor, although that end is more subconscious -- he mostly just likes giving gifts because he likes getting praise and thanks and seeing people in awe and happy.

Kalim has very little concept of monetary value besides "more expensive = better = more affection points from recipient," so predictably, he just tends to think of gifts and then purchase the most expensive version of that thing that he can. Bonus points if it's truly a one-of-a-kind sort of thing -- no, this isn't just "a" gemstone, it's the only one specifically worn by this person or present at this historical event, and he just so happened to call home and convince his parents to have it extracted from the museum and turned into something for you instead! Neat, right?

He fails to realize that this might be more unpleasant for some people who might feel overwhelmed or guilty or pressured by such an act, as you quickly become. You can't even wear it all every day, seeing as you soon have three, four, five, and so on of the pieces he gives you, and you can only wear one at a time. And just the thought of having it makes you nervous... what are you supposed to do with a piece of jewelry that costs as much as a house? Obviously you wear it, but it almost feels wrong to just set it on the nightstand when you take it off... and what happens if you lose it? Ugh.

He's very touchy, too. The closer you get to him socially, the touchier he gets. It starts off as grabbing you by the wrist or an arm over your shoulder, but quickly progresses to leaning on you, wrapping arms around you, and so on, the more you get to know him. You grind your teeth and put up with it for a while, telling yourself it's not bad enough that it's worth the awkwardness of asking him to stop. Besides, he means well, you know that... and on top of that, maybe it's a cultural difference? You're not really familiar with Scalding Sands social and interpersonal norms or anything. Yeah, that's probably it.

All of it gradually manifests into a more pressing matter. The more attentive to you he becomes, the closer to you he gets, the more time you spend together -- it becomes more and more clear that he has feelings and intentions that venture beyond the platonic.

You suppose you should have prepared for that possibility, but still, you don't want to rush to conclusions or make assumptions, so at first, you take the small indicators into account, but give the benefit of the doubt. It becomes more difficult to do so, though, the more affectionate he becomes. You're pretty sure it's not very normal to give so many gifts, to spend so much time together, to be so touchy, if not for some deeper intention, conscious or not.

But that would be alright, wouldn't it? Maybe you should give it a chance. You can't see why not, can't think of any reason in particular it would be a bad idea or anything, other than maybe his high energy, which you're sure you could work with.

You never initiate or say anything about it, you decide to sort of leave the matter up in the air so to speak, but you don't resist or discourage him. You decide that the approach you'll take is that if something develops, that's fine, and if not, that's fine too. You just leave any initiative matters up to him.

As for him, despite his tendencies to be rather dense, he actually has no trouble recognizing the feeling he has for what it is, doesn't go through that stage that some equally dense individuals go through where they don't understand what they feel or why. Probably because his parents keep hounding him about getting married. People of his class standing tend to get married exceptionally young, you see. So he's been more or less raised to have that on his mind. Not to mention, he's not really easily embarrassed, so the natural shyness most people have on matters of that nature just doesn't come to him.

However, there's a distinct lack of a critical element found in virtually and literally anyone else: Kalim has no fear of rejection.

Not because he's overly-confident or has thought it through, but because the very concept does not occur to him.

It's one part of a much, much bigger, more significant issue, one that you haven't quite realized the severity of just yet. In fact, it's a major part of the reason he's always so good-natured, the reason you never see him mad. It's because, for most of his life, he has almost never, ever, been told one specific word.

'No.'

The thought of something not going the way he wants it to just... doesn't really cross his mind.

He's never really been told no on something he truly wants. Minor details have to be changed? Sure. Being made to compromise on insignificant things? Yeah, plenty of times. But there is a simple set of rules his parents and servants have always abided by. If he really wants something unrealistic, try and present alternatives or persuade him against it, sure, that's fine. But if he rejects both of those things, if he insists a third time that he wants something and will not take an alternative, it's easier to just let him have whatever he wants.

And if it is something one of its kind, an obtainable thing that can be had by only one, then he will be the one to have it. Simple as. And when it comes to being friends or people being around him or just being able to spend time with someone, he has almost never been told he can't have what he wants.

Consequently, on the rare occasion he's told "no," it just... goes in one ear and out the other. He doesn't get mad, no, it's like his brain simply refuses to process the word, the idea that he truly, absolutely cannot have what he wants. It's like a computer going to an error screen. His smile doesn't break for a second. He'll usually just misinterpret what the other party means, or assume it's due to a certain condition that must be met. Rarely does he ever have to hear a steadfast, resounding, firm "no."

Besides, as far as he's aware, you've shown no negative reactions towards anything he does, so he has no reason to think about that anyway.

It just all sort of lines up perfectly in his head. In fact, in his mind, he would already consider you to be "together" in an "official" sense, even if you've never actually spoken of it. After all, you've never turned him away, right? That's basically the same thing. Still, there's supposed to be like, steps to these sorts of things, you escalate various stages of relationships and all.

And that is about to open a world of problems.

One of the major issues you encounter with Kalim is a lack of emotional, social maturity. He's not particularly considerate. Well, rather, he bounces back and forth. He'll be very considerate in the sense that he's always thinking of you, always getting things for you and trying to make you happy in various ways. However, when he wants something, he has a tendency to think of no one besides himself. He's not so much intentionally inconsiderate or anything, so much as he just... doesn't think. He wasn't raised to really ever consider other people. All those basic life lessons about sharing, compromising, doing what someone else wants to do even if you don't really want to because they're your friend, to consider what the other person might want or feel before acting, and so on that most people learn from their parents as kids? He never got any of that.

Similarly, he's never really been taught that sometimes, one must supress their own whims and feelings and desires in the moment, that sometimes it's best to do what someone else wants. Again, this isn't malicious; if anything it's done with good intentions and a happy heart. He just doesn't stop to consider anything other than what he wants, when he wants it, however inconvenient it may be for anyone or everyone else.

And most importantly, he's never been taught to stop and consider that just because he wants to do something with someone, the other person might not want to.

There's another issue, then, regarding that. See, he's also rarely been scolded or reprimanded for how he chooses to do things, how he goes about his decisions and actions. He's never really stopped to consider how things he does might harm other people. This all amounts to an issue, one that would perhaps shock people. His moral compass isn't... fully intact.

Not to be misunderstood -- he's naturally benevolent and sweet, yes, but he's also never really been in a position where he even wanted to do anything really bad. That is to say, he's naturally inclined to doing good, but people might be shocked to learn that if he wants something, he might -- without really even being aware of it -- take jarringly unethical measures to do so.

He just doesn't perceive it as selfish. Doesn't realize it might hurt someone. Again, he has the best of intentions, and he would hate to have learned he's done something that hurt someone, but he doesn't stop for a second to contemplate whether or not he should be acting on his impulses and urges and desires beforehand, he has no foresight.

He thinks about it very logically, though, on his end. Usually, people are hesitant to do things that might be embarrassing or that they may not be comfortable with yet. But he doesn't consider that roundabout ways of coercion to get someone to do something out of their current realm of comfort might be wrong -- no, he just sees it in a practical way.

So it's easy. He has a very helpful tool at his disposal.

You're well aware by now that every time the dorm gets together, they tend to drink. He's not a true alcoholic or anything, no, more like just the kind of kid that likes to party hard and black out on weekends. Scalding Sands has its own variants of strong liquors, and as with any country, there are certain regions of the nation known for being home to heavy drinkers. Yes, it's true you're not technically supposed to have alcohol on campus, but exceptions can be made for uh... cultural traditions. The administration just doesn't need to know about how those weekend night social events are also home to drinking competitions, and it'll be fine.

Alcohol is a very practical tool, in a social setting. It helps people loosen up, makes them less nervous. Lowers their inhibitions. Their "true" self often comes out. And most importantly, they're easily persuaded. This is frequently used, thus, to ensure transparency in gatherings between high-status individuals.

You've normally declined in the past, instead choosing to sit back and watch everyone else get wasted... but you just need encouragement. You notice, the next time you go over, just how heavily he's pushing it on you. You have to try this, it's the something-something or another, only available from this one particular small town in the middle of nowhere and takes a hundred years before it's served, etc etc, that sort of thing.

If you're too resistant, eventually he just ends up more or less forcing it on you, pushing it into your hands so you instinctively grasp so it won't fall and moving away before you can try and get him to take it back. And if that doesn't work, he can just get you other drinks that have alcohol very well-masked by other strong flavors and either hot or frozen to somewhat mask the burn, getting you to drink a large amount in a very short time. If all else fails, feeding you incredibly spicy food and ensuring the nearest available drink is high-content always works.

Even without inebriating substances involved, he's loud and sociable and bubbly and pushy — the former traits help him to exercise the last without consequence. When you're mean, of course, people will react negatively to being pushy, but when you're nice, when you're a sweet energetic person? They oblige more often. So when it's forced upon you, you eventually reluctantly agree. You're a bit confused by the sudden pushiness, but it will be alright... you imagine. You end up saying something about how you don't feel great, that your head hurts. You keep leaning over on him, resting your head on his shoulder. The other students are so loud and rambunctious. Your eyebrows furrow and you shake your head as you ask if you can go find a quieter spot.

Oh, that works perfectly then. Don't even have to convince you to go.

Intentionally getting you intoxicated might sound bad, might seem like the sort of thing a scummy person would do... to a normal person. To him, though, it's just a very logical means to a well-thought-out plan. Even if, for a split second, the notion did strike him that it might not be the most ethical choice, he still won't think of it as that bad. If he really wants something, any means to obtain it will be rationalized as okay one way or another.

And if he can't justify it? He just ignores it. He is entirely capable of simply shutting his brain down and completely blocking out the realization of something being wrong. In fact, he essentially just does so automatically, so it's not really shutting his brain down, so much as just acting without taking into account any ethics in the first place, essentially never turning his brain on. It's not really even so much convincing himself, nor feigning ignorance, it's that he can quite literally close his mind to any thoughts of the deeper consequences and significance of anything he's doing. Not to mention, he's not entirely sober himself, so it's basically mutual inebriation.

Besides, you're really cute like this! Stumbling around and all, you keep asking where you're going. Thankfully it's easy to slip away unnoticed, and his room isn't that far either. You mumble some thanks for letting you lay down.

You curse yourself in your head for allowing yourself to get so bad. Your limbs feel all loosened up, you feel warm and somewhat tired. There's still perhaps some faint alarm bells going off in your head, that you probably shouldn't be doing this, and should probably ask to be taken back to Ramshackle instead, but that seems so far away, you don't want to take the effort.

You're jolted out of your spacey thoughts by the mattress shifting. When did you sit on the bed? Eh... no big deal.

But you're aware of the tension, even in your current state. Yeah, when you think about it, although it doesn't carry the sense of offense and disbelief you might have felt if in a clearer state of mind, you can put two and two together, you know exactly what he wants.

It does strike you as an immediate poor decision. You do like him, but you'd normally not rush into something like that, nor would doing it like this be the best idea.

But hey, maybe it will help? Or so says your compromised mind. He's a teenage boy and all, maybe if he gets what he wants he'll actually calm down a little. Maybe he'll lose part of his infatuation too. That's normal, isn't it? People really want to obtain some sort of "prize," but after obtaining it they stop being so pushy and obsessive to get it. He could stand to calm down a bit with how intense he is towards you.

And besides, maybe it's just the mood, maybe you did drink a bit too much, but it can't make things worse, right...?

Your mind seems to suspend the thought. You're not sure what conclusion you would come to, because the next thing you know, you're grimacing as the sunlight hits your eyes through the window quite unpleasantly.

Wait.

You piece things together. The arm looped around your body, pulling you close, the heavy, slow breathing in your ear. And the soreness speaks for itself.

You do remember things, as you start to try to recall. It was kind of like a puppy that's been made to sit and wait for a treat, finally getting the go-ahead to gobble it up. You don't remember too much of the event, but you do remember the entire bedframe rocking back and forth from the sheer force you were being jackhammered with.

You don't remember anything he might have said. You don't remember anything you might have said.

You spend a while laying in bed, contemplating your life choices... but you can smell alcohol on him too, so it's not like it was intentionally planned or anything. The very notion is immediately dismissed -- you're certain he wouldn't do that. Still, you'll have to just try and deal with the initial awkwardness and embarrassment that inherently comes when people sleep together and then have to acknowledge and address it the next morning, and move on from here. Not the best way to start a relationship, but not the worst. And you're certain it will work out alright.

It is awkward, at least for you. You get the sense he's quite happy, though, doesn't seem to have any negative reaction or even surprise when you nudge him awake. There is that sort of inherent embarrassing nature to the matter, some awkward chuckles and sheepishness from him, but you can tell he's content. You manage to muster out the uncomfortable question that you feel does need to be confirmed -- so... you're okay with this... continuing, right?

He seems almost perplexed by it, smile dropping to a look of mild confusion. Mm? Aren't you?

You just shake your head, smile, dismiss any concerns with something about how you just wanted to be sure. Yeah... this turned out to not be so bad. He'll probably calm down a lot now. And if it doesn't work out, you're sure you'll stay friends.

...

He does not, in fact, calm down.

If anything, he gets more intense. He still wants you to stay over the next night. You contemplate for a second maybe telling him that it was a bit rushed, maybe you're moving too fast and that maybe you should hold off before you do it again, but... ah, he's so eager, you'd feel bad for disappointing him... and thus, within a while, you find yourself with your thighs and arms wrapped around him again, trying to let go of any discomfort and just enjoy the moment. It's a bit more intimate and vulnerable and all when you have full mental clarity, but you suppose that makes it more endearing, too. Besides, he's so sweet and cuddly afterwards, which helps to alleviate your nerves.

And then, when the next class day rolls around, he wants to walk to class together, as usual... but this time, he grabs your hand, interlaces your fingers. Which is normal. You don't mind at all. Sitting next to each other, talking... all things you were doing already.

You can't help but feel, though, that the intensity has been turned up to some extent. Before, you would at least have a few moments to yourself, he would occasionally give you some semblance of space, would sometimes talk to other people on his own, would sometimes need to take care of something else before coming to talk to you... unlike now.

Now, rather than each of you heading back to your own dorms at the end of the day, he takes the turn to head back to Scarabia... still holding your hand, chattering away. You clear your throat, mention that your dorm is the other way.

Oh, did you need to grab something first?

...Well, spending another night in Scarabia won't hurt, even if it is a night you have school the next day. You just end up grabbing some clothes for the next day.

And then the next day, he does the same. You try to off-handedly mention again, that all your things are in the dorm.

Oh! Right, that. He's been meaning to ask about that! Good thing you brought it up. Your dorm is, you know, a bit dilapidated and all. There's plenty of spare rooms in Scarabia, though, you could just talk to the headmage and he'd probably let you do it!

Oh, aha... maybe....

You manage to change the subject. You're certainly not quite ready for that much just yet. At first, you figure it was just something he was saying as a vague notion, the sort of thing one might say would be nice but have no real intention of following through, or just said as a courtesy. He brings it up more and more often, though, and it soon becomes clear that he's serious, and actually quite adamant about it.

You keep coming up with excuses to get out of the matter. Oh, I went by his office and he wasn't there... Well, I'll have to ask Grim and see how he feels... so on and so on.

Most people might take the hint that you don't really want to and are just being polite... but not Kalim.

No, instead, he figures he might as well just take care of it for you! He has some free time while you're occupied, so, he'll just go to the headmage himself and get it worked out. It's not like he's going to tell him 'no,' right? Some people say the headmage can be a bit particular or stubborn on his decisions, but for him, he'd say that hasn't been his experience. That does tend to happen to him quite a bit, actually, he's pretty sure he just has a talent for making stubborn people more agreeable, for some reason. It's pretty rare for anyone to deny him a request.

You're caught quite off-guard, then, when you come slowly trudging back after a particularly exhausting day and --why are there people in my dorm.

A handful of scarlet-clad students, carrying boxes of your belongings out of the dorm. One very recognizable one in particular standing off to the side, seemingly directing the tasks. You slowly make your way over, slack-jawed and struck silent in bewilderment.

Oh, you're already here! Well, guess what? Crowley said it was fine! He got a quick moving crew together, thankfully didn't need too many people, since you don't have a whole lot of stuff. Wasn't it nice of them to volunteer? Anyway--

You stand there utterly flabbergasted, blinking, sputtering, stammering as you try to think of something to say. You weren't actually expecting him to be so bold as to do it himself... and it's all happening so fast, you end up more or less stiffly standing still and watching it all happen. They're already pretty much done, and carrying all your things back with them. These guys put in the effort to do this, and they're already walking off as you're trying to get out of your stupor, and your exhaustion isn't helping you form the right words.

You just get grabbed by the wrist as per usual before you even can say anything. Anything you might have started to say would be drowned out anyway, as you're now told in rapid speech about how there's already a spare room for you, it's actually next to his own, it's supposed to be for guests and stuff but they'll make a different room the designated guest room so that you can have the one close to him! Nice, right?

He keeps talking. You sputter and try to start speaking a few times, but words fail you. They've already taken everything out, it's too late to ask them to take it back... so, it seems you're stuck.

Well that's... that's....

Okay. That's alright. Maybe it's a bit too much, but... like always, he meant well, right? And this is normal, yeah, you're supposed to learn to tolerate and accept that your partner will sometimes create hassles and issues. So... you can accept this. It's such a nice gesture, it's only polite to accept, isn't it? Besides, you've already been spending most nights there anyway... you can get used to it, yeah.

There are a lot of perks. No ceiling leaks or drafts in the middle of the night. The furniture doesn't have years worth of layers of dust, there's other people around. In truth, it actually helps your mental state to have other people nearby in the evenings, so it's not always just the two of you for hours on end... not that you mind, of course, but sometimes it can get a little... suffocating, without other people.

Now, you can come by the public lounge of the dorm more often too, mingle with the other students in their lounge area. You often take the opportunity to sit and talk with them in the evenings. You start to find that you're somewhat glad you made the transition, as the whole spirit of camaraderie thing, having a small community to live with, is actually rather pleasant.

He thinks it's nice to see you get to interact with all the students in the dorm, too.

...It is nice, isn't it?

It should be. You enjoying yourself and meeting people who are nice to you naturally should induce a good feeling, he should be happy for you.

For some reason, though, it doesn't feel that way.

Instead, he starts to feel kind of sick, nauseous. And some sort of tight, constricting feeling to his chest. Like he can't breathe.

When he's irritated or frustrated, he might get whiny, but it's very easy to tell when he's deeply, truly upset by something: he gets quiet. It's so uncharacteristic that it's immediately noticeable, the lack of his voice and laughter, instead he just sits there, arms folded, eyebrows just barely furrowed as he looks towards the ground, as if perplexed. Still, he wouldn't want to ruin the mood. So even when you turn your head towards him, eyebrows raised as you ask if something is wrong, saying he's not saying much, he manages to smile anyway, say he's tired. Maybe that's true, too, maybe he needs to sleep the feeling off.

Well, if he could sleep in the first place. But instead, that night, he ends up flat on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Barely sleeps the whole night. Keeps looking over at you as you sleep, shifting and wrapping his arms around you tighter and tighter. The burning, gnawing, tight feeling persists. Maybe he ate too much.

But it continues to persist. Well into the next day. He's visibly tired, keeps nodding off in class, eyes slowly closing and head slowly drooping down until he snaps back awake, jerking his head back up, and repeat, over and over. You ask if something is wrong again. He just says he couldn't sleep for some reason, but still gives you a smile. And, of course, immediately takes the opportunity to ask what you want to do later today. No question of if you're free or if you're even up to it.

From that night you first noticed he was oddly quiet and onward, he seems to become more prone to wanting to spend time alone with you. Doesn't spend as much time in the club room, doesn't spend as much time in the lounge with the other students. Instead, you end up just in his room quite often... you get the sense that he's more at ease that way, seems less fidgety.

Besides, it's not as if he has too many moments where he doesn't have the reassurance of your presence. Outside of a few specific classes, you're with him pretty much all day, every day. His lack of consideration resurfaces. He'll drag you around to wherever he feels like going, often not asking before just grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you along. But you're fairly easygoing, and it's not like you don't usually end up enjoying however you spend your time, even if it is dictated to you without any consideration.

You don't have any excuse to go home in the evenings now though, since in his mind, apparently, you should now be spending your nights together. Every waking second. You didn't really think that having spent the night together once really meant you had to start it as a routine, but you don't want to hurt his feelings and all. He does tend to detract from the quality of your studying, though, seeing as he likes to talk quite a bit. Sure, you say you're studying, and he agrees to be quiet... for a few minutes. Then he seems to forget.

Or he might just get a little upset about it. It's rare to see him unhappy, but when he does get sort of frustrated, it manifests as being whiny, demanding your attention. He sighs and hangs his head, pouts if you continue to fail to give him attention.

Hey, come on... you've been going at that forever, I'm right here...

He drags his speech out and raises the pitch of his voice in a rather annoying whine. Not that "forever" is a very long time in reality, it usually only takes about five minutes of your attention not being focused on him that he gets visibly fidgety, and he'll start voicing his feelings regarding your cruel neglect after about ten minutes.

But he's very easy to placate. The moment you turn your attention back to him, give him some pats on the head or sit in his lap and hold him close, he goes back to content smiles and cheerfulness, like a child who finally got his way after being a brat until the parent gives in. At least that makes it easy to manage, so you tell yourself. A lot of your study sessions are now spent with your book on the bed, neck craned to read it as you let him keep a tight embrace around you, nuzzling you throughout the night. Your grades do decrease nonetheless.

In fact, at this point, he practically never takes his hands off of you. Constantly has his arms wrapped around your body, holding you close to him. That same lack of concept of personal space he has, and general social obtuseness, also ties into another issue he has in which he has no shame over excessive PDA. That touchiness and physical clinginess has gotten bad enough that the teachers have had to tell him it's inappropriate for the school environment more than once now. He won't hesitate to hold his arms around you or lean up against you even while talking to others. It's a bit embarrassing, but it's also quite sweet, really. You don't mind, although you do have to tell him to hold back a little bit, if people are looking, or if he's at risk of getting reprimanded by a nearby faculty member again.

That being said... it's nothing compared to the touchiness whenever you're alone.

Kalim has all the sexual eagerness and energy you'd expect from a teenage boy and then some. It can be a bit overwhelming, even.

Granted, you did have to teach him quite a bit, he was rather clueless in the beginning, but he quickly gets over that learning curve.

You're convinced it's all the boy thinks about. Every single opportunity. Even with how physically affectionate he is, even if it starts in a wholesome way, you can always feel his hands wander across your body, just barely resting on the border of what would be completely socially inappropriate in front of others, and the moment everyone else clears out or you leave whatever public space you were in, he takes it like a green light to grope you further. And the moment you get to be truly alone and behind closed doors, you're practically pounced on... not that it's limited to being in the dorms. The club room also works just fine, every now and then when Cater and Lilia just so happen to both be busy with something else. There's still a risk of someone walking by, but he insists it's not that big of a deal.

Even at lunch, in any spare time, whenever they have some form of event or announcement requiring all students to congregate in one room, he's always pressed up to you, always tilts his gaze up and down your figure, always lets his hands brush against your sides or your thighs, like he's about to burst with the extent of urges and excitement he's just barely holding back -- all of which gets unleashed on you at once whenever you do get back to your room for the day. Several times in a row. You're always left sore and spent, gasping for breath, lying flat on your back, drenched in sweat, staring up at the ceiling wondering how on earth it is humanly possible for one boy to be that horny. Even if there's the slightest sliver of opportunity, he'll take it. Truly a one-track mind.

One particular occurrence that quickly becomes habit is how he'll pull you into his lap while sitting cross-legged on the floor and rut into you like that — of course, there's not really a lot of thrusting or in-and-out movement that way, it's more grinding than anything, but it's still good, far more than you'd admit, with the way it grinds the most sensitive spots of your body against his. Besides, having you just perfectly elevated above his own position like that gives the opportunity to suckle on your tits the whole time, too.

And none of it is with asking you, or waiting for any signal of approval or anything. You imagine that, as with everything else, he doesn't consider that. He always seems happy though, always smiling and hugging you tight and talking about something or another while you lay in bed.

The daily cycle repeats and repeats. You do feel a bit more stressed than you used to, sort of... overwhelmed. Suffocated. You try to swallow it down.

Ultimately, this means that while your time is completely consumed by him, the inverse is true as well.

On that note, you do get the sense that Jamil quite appreciates you occupying so much of Kalim's time. The poor man hasn't had this much peace and tranquility in his life from the moment he was born. He certainly seems to encourage it from the beginning, even before you moved in, he would often not so subtly suggest you come by the dorm (please), Kalim really likes having you around, so you could occupy his time for a while (please), and, you know, keep him out of any antics (PLEASE). He seems to mention it virtually every time you see him, like you're some kind of fallback system he's come to depend on, or how someone might keep a certain toy to give to a kid to keep it distracted and entertained for a while. He doesn't even seem to mind picking up some of the tasks Kalim would otherwise do himself -- you imagine that he can get it done faster and more efficiently on his own, whereas involving the often airheaded housewarden might just cause problems in and of itself. For the most part, he seems to stay out of your way... you imagine he's off enjoying his free time.

However, this does also mean that some of the housewarden duties that Kalim has to be the one to do are getting neglected. Jamil has to occasionally come knocking and tell him to do this or that, because he's been putting it off for days now and the headmage is going to find out and no one wants to have to sort through whatever mess will result if he doesn't get it done. You, of course, usually get dragged into helping with whatever the task at hand is. You've written more than one speech for him now. Admittedly, trying to get any actual work done with Kalim can be incredibly frustrating, as he's so easily distracted. You have to essentially corral him back into getting things done. Okay, we can look at that later, but we have to get this done first, remember? It feels like tutoring a rambunctious kid. Tasks that should reasonably take half an hour take several hours.

But still, with everything you two do together, it's getting more and more isolated, increasingly so. You can't help but notice. Even on the weekends, he often now brings food back to his room and eats with you, rather than going back out to where everyone else is. When you ask, he just says he's kind of tired tonight. Every now and then, he'll have turned his back on you because he was grabbing something or working with something, just for a few seconds, and when he turns around, you're talking to someone... he always comes walking up. Gets very close to you, tries to butt in on the conversation. He's cheery as always, but there's still some unnerving aura to it... or maybe you're just imagining it, so you tell yourself.

On and on it goes.

It's one of those situations that you're consciously aware of, that you know is increasing in intensity, but it does so in just a perfectly gradual way, so that you don't fully realize just how bad it's gotten or how abnormal it really is until it one day just suddenly dawns on you. Where you know you ought to do something, that you can't let this go on and that it can't last forever, but you keep pushing it away by telling yourself it's not that big of a deal and you can ignore it for now -- until you eventually realize that it now is that big of a deal and you can't keep ignoring it.

You're forced to realize it, after one particular occurrence. It's no big deal. Nothing of consequence. You forget to hand in a paper during class, and it thankfully occurs to you just as you're leaving and walking down the halls. Normally, for the very last class, Kalim just heads to the club room and waits for you to get there, since it's the room right next to where he is when classes end (the walk itself is a three-minute period you're quite grateful to have to yourself). So, you're still by yourself when you realize it, almost halfway down the stairs. You turn back, quickly make your way back to the classroom to catch the teacher before he leaves. You exchange a few brief words, just one of those small casual conversations where the teacher asks you if you need anything else, congratulates you on doing well on the last exam, briefly mentions something about an upcoming event day and asks about your plans for it. Small talk. Maybe ten minutes. You bid him farewell. Exit the room.

And are nearly tackled just a few steps out of the room.

There you are!

You lose your balance, would have fallen over if not for Kalim's arms clinging to your body.

Where were you? You didn't show up for a while, he was getting really concerned, and did you not check your phone because he sent you like ten texts the past few minutes and what were you busy with anyway and Lilia kept trying to tell him to stay and wait for you but he couldn't just do that so he came looking for you and found you and now here you are! Ah... don't worry him like that, okay?

You stand there, blinking, slackjawed. O-Okay... Sorry, I--I didn't...

Nah, don't worry, it's all good! He's back to smiling now. He was just super worried, but it's okay, you just forgot to tell him. He forgets stuff all the time, so he gets it. Anyway...

He changes the subject as he turns back to walk back to the club room -- but you can't help but notice the iron grip on your wrist is far tighter than normal, practically dragging you away. You don't really pay much attention to what he's saying. You feel a twisting, heavy sensation in your gut. That in and of itself wasn't particularly bad, but somehow, it seems to make it all come together, it all seems to sort of click with you all at once. Perhaps you were just giving him the benefit of the doubt because he's so sweet, or just ignoring it for the same reason, but you come to the unnerving realization of just how truly abnormal this is. You know it's not normal, and really, not acceptable, not healthy. You start thinking back to things in the past you've just let slide, realizing it probably wasn't the best idea.

You're so overwhelmed, it feels like you're going crazy. He's so nice, he really is, but you just can't take it. You even try saying something about how you need "space," but it goes in one ear and out the other -- he interprets that as not being quite as physically clingy for a few days before going right back to it.

It's from that resolution that, after one long night of sleeplessly mulling it over, you make a mistake: you start to try and avoid him.

Just a little. You figure it can't hurt, he won't notice. You just... try to get a bit of time to yourself. When you don't have a class with him, you rush out the door as soon as the class lets out rather than taking your time when packing up, to ensure he doesn't have time to get there before you exit the room. That way, you can take a few minutes to yourself, walk around campus or sit on a bench and enjoy not having someone breathing down your neck and looking over your shoulder the whole time.

Using the previous event that he got so worked up over as inspiration, you'll say you forgot to turn something in for a teacher and use the excuse to go run off and take a few minutes to sit in a room by yourself, sometimes intentionally "forgetting" to drop it off or turn it in so you can hold out the assignment in question to validate the excuse by him seeing it with his own eyes, avoiding suspicion. Whenever you get a spare moment where he's busy, you'll wander off somewhere he can't find you. Ignore his texts for a few minutes, claim you didn't see it because your phone was on silent for class earlier. Wait for him to come looking for you. Sometimes when the dorm students are all hanging out, you make some excuse to leave -- ah, my head hurts. Or I'm really exhausted. Or I'm not feeling so good. Soon followed, of course, with insistence on him staying. No, no, don't worry about me, I'm just going to lay down, I don't want to keep you from having fun... you can just come check on me later, right...? And he'll usually oblige after you insist a few times.

Not everyday, so as to not make it obvious, just every few days or so, you take the opportunities you get to catch some time to yourself. So on and so on. Surely he won't really notice. It's just a few minutes here and there. You're still spending the vast majority of every waking moment with him.

And at first, you're pretty sure he doesn't. Seems to accept the excuses, goes right back to his usual cheerfulness and cuddliness.

And then once becomes a few times, then ten, and so on. Something gradually begins to change. You sense an aura of worry from him, a nervous edge to his otherwise pleasant expression and tone of voice.

He's very well aware something is wrong. He's noticed your sudden aversions and seeming avoidance, even though he's normally too dense to pick up on such things, you've made it too obvious.

Did he do something wrong? Are you mad? You're not gonna break up with him, are you? You wouldn't do that to him, right? The very thought makes him feel sick. But... no, you wouldn't do that. You have no reason to. You're probably just being kind of moody or something. He remembers plenty of times how Jamil's sister would get upset at her brother for seemingly no reason, how he would occasionally sigh and make comments about how she's in one of her bad moods, can't be helped... maybe you have something like that too. That makes sense to him. But just in case, he's sure to buy you a bunch of extra expensive stuff over the course of the next week. Maybe it will cheer you up, too.

Yeah, you have no reason to be actually mad. Unless, of course, someone was influencing you somehow. Maybe someone else is saying things to you and making you so upset, or maybe someone might try and convince you to leave him or something. That happens, doesn't it? It happens in movies and stuff at least. That makes him feel sick all over again. But how would you be interacting with someone...?

Oh... well, you do have those weird gaps of time these days... a few minutes here or there where he can't find you. Maybe that's it. This is one of those "read between the lines" situations where what you say isn't really what you mean, even if you don't realize it. If he gives you "space," you'll just get attached to someone else.

While you're never aware of the thought process he has that day, you notice things getting worse. You pack up and run out of the classroom as fast as you can, but somehow he's already there. You say you need to drop something off, but he insists on going with you this time. Even if you keep saying you just want to go lay down and he should stay and keep talking with the other students, he just shakes his head, says something about how he can't just leave you alone.

His tone is sweet as always, but there's something to it that wasn't there before. Almost a sort of nervousness, an intensity, a forcefulness out of paranoia. You're not sure it's intentional, in fact, you're pretty certain he isn't at all self-aware of how pushy he is nor how he seems to be getting increasingly... anxious, really. Like there's a sort of worry in the back of his mind, that he's only aware of subconsciously, but acting upon nonetheless.

Even when you're walking around campus, his grip is tighter, and never lets up for even a second, like you're some dog on a leash that's going to bolt away the moment he relaxes his grip. You can't open your phone for a single second without him immediately peering over your shoulder to look.

He never says anything. He doesn't really act out of the ordinary. But there are those subtle, small signs. His grip is tighter, he sits closer than ever, he seems to keep his eyes on you more than he ever has. In particular, one blatantly noticeable change is that one night at random, he switches spots with you on the bed -- you used to be on the open side and him on the side against the wall, but now, without saying a word, he switches. Now you're against the wall side... you couldn't get up and out of bed and out the door without having to crawl over him, and inevitably wake him up. You try to tell yourself it wasn't intentional.

Apparently, though, whenever he can't find you, he doesn't hesitate to go to get others to help him. More than once, you've been stopped by Scarabia students in the halls -- oh, it's you, we all got a message saying you were lost or something... you try to avoid them when you see them.

Jamil doesn't exactly help, either. In fact, you tried to go to him once, mustered up the courage to try and ask him if he could help you maybe talk to Kalim or give you advice on how to handle it. But to your bewilderment, you're more or less gaslighted.

Really? It doesn't seem like you spend that much time together. You're probably just stressed from something else, and it's making you uneasy. Happens to everyone, don't worry.

You still try and reason with him, but he seems to shut you down, keeps repeating the same thing. Eventually you have to give up on trying to get any help from him. Although his words do make you feel rather neurotic for some time. That's not right, right? You're not making it up, it's not all in your head. You know what you've been experiencing... right? You have to shake the paranoia off. You're not sure why he would say such a thing though... none of it makes sense.

Jamil doesn't make things any easier for you either. Don't expect him not to very readily tell Kalim, whenever he's searching all around for you, that yes, you did come by here, you went in that direction, and you were probably headed for that specific location, so he should definitely go search there and spend time with you and not do literally anything else. Unlike the other Scarabia students, with Jamil it's not a matter of running into them directly -- you've had times where, after being found, Kalim makes some remark about oh, Jamil told me he saw you out the window, or otherwise vaguely made it clear who was the one to rat you out on your location, even though you never ran into him or even saw him. You begin to feel paranoid that you're being watched, any time you move around campus.

And each time, you get found faster and faster. Sometimes he finds you in minutes, before you can even try to find somewhere to rest. It's like he's developing some sixth sense, like he can somehow sense where you are.

...In fact, after a while, it reaches a level that it's unnatural. There's no way he's coincidentally finding you, or even relying on others.

One thought comes to mind. At first, you tell yourself you're being paranoid, that there's no way... but eventually you give into the paranoia, one day when you have just a few spare minutes in your room while he's right outside talking to some students, and you go searching through your bag. You're not hopeful, it's just a slight chance, but... yeah, no, there seems to be nothing there. You start to feel dumb for even considering--

Wait. There is something there. At the very, very bottom, underneath all the books. Some tiny, flat square shaped piece of hard plastic... barely the size of a bottlecap. You don't recognize it. There's nothing written on it. You start to feel a bit queasy.

You're still staring at it in your shaky hands when the door opens again. You swallow. Your voice comes out wavering. Hey, Kalim...?

Mm? He tilts his head, turning his attention towards you. You hold the object out.

What is this thing?

You were hoping for confusion, that he would have no idea, and even if not, you would expect some sheepishness, some sense of panic. But no. His expression doesn't even change.

Oh, that! I got that so I don't have to worry about losing track of you. Neat, isn't it?

Not even a hint of guilt or self-awareness. No, he just starts talking about how cool it is, it's technically military technology because it's so indestructible and will bypass metal detectors and wavelength sensors and stuff, it can track to any location in the world and it's technically not available to civilians, but his father has connections and all so he asked him to get one, and -- hey, is something wrong?

He finally seems to notice the wide-eyed look of distress on your face. You swallow.

O-oh... no, I just... you didn't... say any...

You shake your head to clear your thoughts. You say the first thing that comes to your impulse.

Hey, do you mind if I go take a walk? I just... need to clear my head a bit.

You start to move towards the door. You're stopped when he side-steps to block your path.

Eh? What's wrong?

You insist it's nothing. You say you just feel pent up. For once, you wish he was more dense than he is, because he certainly catches on to the wavering in your quiet, nervous voice.

Hey, you can tell me whatever it is. You look like you're really worried about something.

No, I just...

You take a few steps back. You find yourself stammering. You feel sick. Your heart is beating too fast. You try to make your way to the door slowly, casually, like you're relaxed, like you're not desperately trying to get away. You take a step to the side, start to walk in a circle as you try to distract him by saying something about how you've just been cooped up in the room for too long, and you'll only be gone a minute or so, and--

This time, in one swift movement, his hand lashes out and latches onto your arm. A grip so tight it's painful.

Hey, you're not going to go talk to someone else, right?

The words take you aback. Your eyes widen. You take a few moments to respond, it's such a random, unexpected question. It's so out of nowhere, the very notion seems like such a bizarre conclusion to draw. He doesn't say it angrily or anything, no, more like he's genuinely curious... but there's a clear note of worry to his voice.

Why did he come to that conclusion? You shake your head. No, I... I don't know why you'd think that, I...

He seems to notice the confusion and unease on your face. His own returns to that same smile as always. Ah, good. You had me worried. Haha...

Anyway... you should lay down. That will help you clear your head more than walking will. Besides, how is he supposed to know where you are if you're not carrying your bag? It's not like you get a choice -- it's not presented as a suggestion, he says it whilst simultaneously grabbing you by the waist and carrying you over to bed. He's pretty tired too! You can both rest for a while... you notice him grab the tracking chip off the bed where you set it down and loosely toss it back into your bag, before setting you down. Promptly jumping into bed as well. And his arms lock like a constrictor around your body, pulling your back up against his chest.

You can still feel your heart beating in your chest. The wrongness of the situation is setting in, every part of your brain is sounding alarm bells. That, with absolute certainty, you know is not normal, and more importantly, it's almost frightening. It feels like a weight compressing your chest as you realize just how deep of a hole you've dug yourself into, and you don't know how to safely get out. You can't even go talk to someone else, because he'll be right there. The more you think, the more nauseous you feel.

One other thing bothers you. He usually can fall asleep within a minute or two of laying down, and yet, you can still feel his hand stroking up and down your stomach. There's a heavy, silent tension. You keep trying to think of how to word what you want to say. After a few moments, though, he speaks before you can even summon the right words. His voice is unusually quiet.

Hey, you're not mad at me, right?

You stiffen.

I... no, I-- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... come across that way....

Oh, good. You can feel him sigh. You seem kinda upset or something.

You stay quiet. Your mouth feels dry. You swallow. But you're given the opportunity, you can't just let it pass without finally getting out what you've been thinking.

...Listen.

He doesn't say anything, but you feel him shift his head. You're not sure if that's a good sign or not. Not being able to see his face makes it a bit easier, though, to get the words out.

I think... I think maybe we should, ah.... t-take... take a break.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you finish, clenching your jaw. Waiting for some kind of negative reaction. He sits upright.

But when you cautiously open your eyes, he looks... elated?

Oh! Like a vacation? That would be great! You should come back home with him! He's actually been thinking a lot about something like that. It's a good thing you mention it. He's mentioned you to his parents like ten times now, and they say they want to meet you, and you know there's that week you're all out of class coming up, and that would be a really good time to do it.

He keeps going on and on about it. It feels like some cruel joke from a higher power. You just sit there, staring forward with glazed-over eyes. Up until, that is, he says something about how he'll go call them, and be right back, and then leaps out of bed to go right outside for better service.

Hey, wait--Kalim--

You stumble over to the door in a panic, intending to try and stop him before he can. You reach out, grasp the handle, turn the knob.

It's... locked. From the outside.

...When did that get installed? You're certain no such mechanism was there before... when did...?

It's too much. You start to feel nauseous again. You're overwhelmed. You find yourself not even making it to the bed, instead laying flat on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. It's not like you can leave... you'll just... well, you'll just have to wait for him to come back. As much as that thought makes you uneasy, as much as everything is setting off your panic, you have no other choice. You drape your forearm over your eyes.

God, what have I gotten myself into...

...

On the other end, though, he's actually really glad you expressed interest in coming home with him. Well, you didn't explicitly say that, but basically the same thing. In fact, he's been thinking about taking you home for quite some time!

His parents have always been very persuasive people, especially considering the money and power involved that they have at their disposal... he sort of associates them with things working out for him. The few times he's ever had any issues, usually one phone call home is all it takes, and his parents will resolve the issue. Maybe they can sort of push you along the right direction too... after all, they do want him to get married as soon as he graduates.

And even if they don't approve, which would be the worst case scenario, he's already been thinking about how to deal with that, too! He's actually pretty proud of himself for really planning ahead for once.

It's just like how he initially got you into his room. Doing something underhanded to ensure things work out for him doesn't strike him as wrong.

What was it his parents used to say, whenever he was first getting ready to go out into the world and all that? That he should enjoy himself and have fun and meet people, but to avoid one specific thing.

Have all the fun you want, but don't you dare get...

The reasoning was... ah, something something scandal and disgrace to the family and all that... he wasn't really listening. But he knows that whenever there's some big scandal in the world of high-power people, they rush to cover it up. So they would help him, right? They'd help ensure things worked out in his favor.

In fact, he's already been trying a little bit. Got one of those pins they use for the classroom corkboards and keeps poking holes in those condoms... and takes them off a lot when you're not looking... but nothing has come of that yet, he's sure, because you would have said something. Ah, well, it'll probably just take some time. Sure, his parents will be SO mad... but he can accept that, so long as they then help him work things out the way he's hoping for. It seems like a good plan... or rather, an impulsive idea he had that he just sort of went with. He's not really the type to think things through, you know.

#i love my baby boy he is dense as a brick wall #jamil the whole time is like that meme of squidward sunbathing and pulling the sunglasses down to squint but then just lays right back down #jamil 🤝 jade 'immediate willingness to compromise ethics for some peace and quiet'#kalim showing up to his parents home with visibly pregnant darling in tow like '👉👈 :3333'#yandere twst

297 notes · View notes

justporo · 4 months

Note

I have multiple Astarion hot takes but I will mention two here.

I don't think he wants child because he is not a responsible person. I think either him and Tav/Durge will worry the risk of giving birth or not good in take care of child. However, adopting child is sweet to them.

The other is about few people prefer Astarion in mlm relationship than hetero relationship. I don't see the actual post but I heard they dislike hetero relationship fanart with Astarion. Most of the fans are cool but it is too unhinged to me especially Neil explicitly mentioned he is pansexual. Both relationships are good for me but fans insult the other for preferred sexuality is so baffling to me.

Hey Anon! Thanks for dropping in!

I'll say this upfront: both of these aren't even hot takes to me personally! (I know others would disagree vwbjnboew)

I've said that before: I also - personally - don't vibe too much with Astarion being a dad. Not that I'm saying that I can't see it at all and also: people hating on others who like to headcanon Dadstarion should respectfully shut their godsdamned piehole. I, personally, agree that Astarion would probably want to just live life to the fullest without the responsibility of a child - I'm not at all saying that you can't enjoy life when you have a kid but it is definitely different and raising children is a commitment. And I don't see Astarion making this type of commitment. Personally, I'd like him to just vibe, explore who he is and what he wants, indulge himself. And please also: this man needs to do some healing first in any case, imho.

Yea, I've also seen this fly around quite a lot and I have repeatedly posted about the fact that Astarion is pan. I will die on this fucking hill. (Might be because this character also helped me come to terms with my own pansexuality) Yes, in game we hear him talk a lot more about relationships with men, but he is - and might I repeat CANONICALLY - pansexual. Maybe he does have an inclination towards one side but that doesn't erase the fact. It's sad and potentially hurtful to see people willingly erase this fact because identities like e.g. pan/bi/ace are already having a hard time to justify themselves existing sometimes. You don't need to make it harder, hm 'kay?

So about all that once more: Think before you post?! This character is fictional but the people you hate on are real and so is the potential impact of hate or insults.

Personally, I see it like this: writers, artists, probably every fan has their own version of Astarion in their mind - that's fine and also cool to explore. Creatively building on a character or story essentially means you take it and make a bit of your own, right? That's legit and cool, but it is not the only version, others have different ones that are legitimate too, just as your own. You don't need to like another one's version, ideas or headcanons - but you should respect it!

That being said there are things imho, like in this case Astarion's sexual identity, that should not be glossed over or changed because it might be problematically impact stuff beyond the fictional realm.

Basically: live and let live. But keep in mind behind characters and blogs are real people.

Alright, this was a bit of a ramble - sowwy!

#poro answers #poro rambles #astarion #astarion ancunin #poro headcanons #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #Astarion is pan #deal with it #bg3 spoilers

26 notes · View notes

thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 1 year

Note

I'm curious - you think (most likely correctly) that the Cullens will have to go off the grid forever sooner or later, and also that the coven will eventually break apart due to their deepening personal issues, and also that Bella and Edward will break up spectacularly. What do you think this particular version of Bella would then do if she miraculously woke up as a human back in 2005, on the day before she told her mum that she wanted to move to Forks?

The Cullens are doomed to go off the grid and it will destroy them due to interpersonal drama.

Depends how exactly it happens, almost down to the minute detail, because ah that will inform who Bella can blame.

A Look at Bella

The last we see of Bella, she's a nineteen-year-old vampire who is, for lack of a better word, not that introspective or empathetic. Throughout the series, Bella has a difficult time to see things from others points of view.

What this means is that, at the end of canon, she supports Renesmee and Jacob's romantic relationship despite the very glaring red flags surrounding that entire mess, puts her daughter with super hearing in her and Edward's Marie Antoinette style sex cabin, is quite happy to have proven Rosalie wrong and become a marvelous vampire, and is quite happy to have considered herself reaching the peak part of life forever.

What I'm saying is that this isn't a girl inclined to deep analysis of her situation, those around her, and herself.

When things go wrong, Bella's not going to see this as due to miscommunication/interpersonal relationship issues that have always been there but are just now coming to a head, she's going to try to blame a) some event that's happened b) a person or group of people.

She's going to prefer not to blame herself as, unless things go very sideways, I don't see her taking an action that she would see as bringing about disaster.

Who Dunnit

Depends what happened.

First, we have the reason they had to go off the grid. Did Carlisle just decide it's time and the family agreed? In that case, Bella's going to feel more than a little ire at Carlisle and see him as the start of the madness (at least, depends what happens next).

Did Alice get caught for money laundering and fraud?

Did someone mess up and they couldn't cover it up? In that case Emmett, Alice, Esme, are likely to get the blame. (Bella herself is a contender, and in this case, she blames herself horribly and never quite recovers and probably implodes.)

Alright, they're now in the wilderness, if nothing else had changed Bella would be fine with this, mostly. She'd be very upset about the lack of money and things (as that's half of what being a Cullen is about) but she can still run around in Chanel so long as she's careful not to ruin it and she still has Edward and the Cullens.

However.

Who says Jacob can't come?

The family's going to sit down and tell Jacob that uh he's not going off the grid with them. Please, for the love of god, Jacob, live your own life. Bella will lose it at this.

Really, the whole family gets the blame, but the likely candidates for Bella's rage here are Rosalie and Carlisle. Carlisle as the patriarch could have put his foot down and had Jacob come (he didn't) and Rosalie is likely one of the most vocal opponents.

Bella will be convinced they're trying to destroy Renesmee's life as they're separating her from her wolf.

This will cause ah much family drama and likely Bella trying to run off to meet her paramour er her daughter's paramour er her daughter's best friend who may or may not end up her lover at an age appropriate time.

Edward will either enable this and try to keep it on the sly to keep Bella happy or else try to stop it so as to keep the family happy. It's likely the former, as if he can keep it from the family, then everyone's happy.

This alone could cause the family implosion and is in the... top ten reasons things would go to hell really. They could avoid this but... it's a very likely candidate.

Our other option is Edward grows tired of Bella in close contact with no distractions. Now, he has no one to cheat with (no smelly humans of appropriate character or Tanya) but that doesn't mean he won't start chafing (especially if Bella's imploding over Jacob, which is 100% happening).

Now, Bella's going to implode further, as Edward's unhappy and she knows it. However, having been in this rodeo, she'll try to tell herself that Edward's trying to protect her again. He has his reasons for treating her this way and it's not true. Eventually, though, she'll conclude that he's gotten bored with her, she'll blame the lifestyle change.

Edward was in love with Bella Cullen, the vampire living her best life in beautiful outfits and a perfect member of his family. He's not in love with a Bella who is a blubbering mess living in a cave.

But none of this answers your question.

Rise and Shine, Campers, Because it's Cold Out There

Bella wakes up and it's 2004 (as Bella moved in early January of 2005). She wakes up in Phoenix Arizona, she's human again, and her mother is married to Phil and pining after him as he's away.

For a good while, at least a day, Bella's a zombie. She just had the most wonderful dream, in which she had the perfect husband, was a mother, the greatest best friend, and the mostly greatest family. She was beautiful, wealthy, graceful and athletic, interesting, important, and intelligent.

Bella's very quick to conclude that it was all a dream.

Because how could any of that have actually happened to her?

Renee notices Bella's acting more depressed than usual but isn't sure what to say about it. It goes unremarked upon.

Bella then realizes that she's faced with the same choice originally. She can stay and make her mother miserable or she can go to Forks again, the date of her original departure growing ever closer.

She doesn't want to go and see that Forks is just like the meadow was: a meaningless place without Edward in it.

However, she can't remain here and ruin her mother's life either.

She must go and confront the truth, let this rest once and for all.

She gets there and HOLY GOD, IT'S EDWARD.

Bella's suddenly hit with every emotion. Profound relief and joy at seeing the Cullens unchanged as always (she's crying at the sight of them, Edward thinks she's a freak), confusion over what's happening and how this even occurred, and then horror that somehow it all got messed up.

Bella doesn't pay much attention to Edward nearly eating her in Biology (she knows he won't do it, after all) and instead tries to figure out what happened and what needs to change.

Well, the way she sees it, most of the real problems came down the road in the form of Google making it impossible to cover up fraud, murder, Dr. Cullen's history as a medical professional, pick your poison.

There's not much Bella can do about that, as much as she doesn't like it.

There was also the Volturi problem, but that's easily solved enough. If Bella never jumps off a cliff, and Alice doesn't think she's dead, then Edward would never go there to kill himself. None of that, of course, would have happened if they'd never broken up in the first place which Edward admitted was a huge mistake.

Similarly with the baseball game, if Bella doesn't go that day, then she never runs into James, he's never killed by the Cullens, and Victoria doesn't swear vengeance and create her newborn army.

(Wow, Bella's on a roll!)

It does not occur to Bella that a) James could still cause problems if he fixated on Alice again which was entirely possible (albeit not likely) b) Edward would very likely still dump her as he was convinced it was the best outcome for her c) Jacob would likely not shift without Victoria's rampage meaning that he would not remain in her life or imprint on Renesmee and become effectively immortal.

Bella continues to think about what went wrong and, again, likely blames some combination of Rosalie and Carlisle. If she can just get Rosalie to calm down about Jacob after Renesmee's born and the Cullens to not have to leave society so early then everything will be perfect!

Otherwise she'll fix all the other little things that went wrong and start dating Edward as soon as possible and not waste those early months of trying to figure out what he is.

Next time Edward shows up, she confesses she knows he's a vampire, she's his future wife (who he impregnated and turned into a vampire), she knows the Cullens are vampires, and Edward doesn't know it yet but they're already deeply in love.

... And, as Edward has been privately looking for an excuse to kill her, likely ah uses this as the temptation proves too strong/he's too alarmed at everything she's saying. Edward murders Bella Swan and the Cullens have to leave town.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #edward cullen #jacob black #anti jacob black #anti edward cullen #anti bella swan #the cullens #meta #headcanon #opinion

79 notes · View notes

tapalslegacy · 2 months

Text

☄. *. ⋆ RULES

First off, welcome! Hi there! I'm Yuki. 💘 I have 10+ years of roleplay experience and am always happy to meet other muns and interact with their muses! Please be advised that I am a yapper and talk OOC pretty frequently and if you don't like seeing that, this blog may not be for you.

ONE. This blog is HIGHLY selective! Anyone is free to interact so long as you are above the age of 21 and older (I am 21+). I will not write with anyone below 21, unless I started interacting with you -- those 18 to 20 years of age -- prior to this change. Do not lie about your age; there are serious consequences if there is a lack of transparency. DNI if you are not 21 or older.

By 'selective,' however, it means that I gravitate towards those that share my style of writing (multi-para/novella to para). It also depends on my interest in the muse and how well I vibe with the mun. I will only be interacting with mutuals.

TWO. This blog will be low activity and very, very slow replies. I could reply within a week or more. I come here for a hobby, not a job and I have things to attend to outside of Tumblr. Feel free to nudge me via IM if I forgot about our thread, but please do not pressure me to respond or put me under a time limit, as it will demotivate me and make me feel less inclined to write with you. If I have lost muse for the thread, I'll let you know and we can plot something else or go on existing memes. IMs are also open for plotting!

THREE. I am open to shipping if there is chemistry between our muses. If you feel that this is the direction our thread is going, please IM me and we can discuss it further! I won't autoship with canon characters; I will always ask you if I am interested in shipping first. This blog is multiship!!

FIVE. Due to laziness, I will be scarcely using icons, unless I find a free-to-use icon pack lying around on Tumblr or I take matters into my own hands. In other words, I won't be using icons for 99.9% of the time. Also, please do not feel pressured to match my formatting! I hardly format nowadays to save time but when I do I use <sub> texts, bold, strikethrough, links for underline, and color. If you have issues reading my threads, do let me know and I will do what I can to accommodate you.

FOUR. Please, no god-modding. Starkiller is on that borderline but I honestly am not down for him to nerf Cal. Even Anakin Skywalker had his limits, my brother in Christ.

SIX. General DNI rules apply. Please be nice. I don't tolerate bullies. For the sake of my mental health, I won't interfere in drama. I come here for a hobby and I'd rather not get stressed out over things like that. If someone I am writing with is problematic, do let me know. I ask that you have evidence to support your claim and I encourage you to report the issue to the proper authorities.

SEVEN. My portrayal draws inspiration from canon, my headcanons, and slightly from the book, Jedi Battle Scars (VERY slightly since I don't like the book too much but I like some pieces of Cal's mannerisms and attitude in it). If you are unhappy with it, then interacting with this blog may not be for you.

EIGHT. I will only write N.SFW with those 21+ of which that I am comfortable writing with. N.SFW content will be put under the cut tagged as "— ‘ n.sfw ……✎ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐃 TO PLEASE 𝐌𝐄." and/or "suggestive //"!!

NINE. Mun =/= Muse. I am not Cal Kestis, and my views may differ from his. I stress this rule even more so when he's in different verses, such as his Eleventh Brother verse and his Grand Inquisitor verse. He's not a good person in either of those verses and generally I do not agree with everything he says and/or does, or condone it. If my muse is acting up, it does not reflect upon my personal feelings towards your muse or you.

TEN. Since this is Star Wars, please be advised that there will be dark themes. There may also be mentions of blood, gore, torture, violence. In terms of roleplay, most likely in his dark side verses (Eleventh Brother and Grand Inquisitor), there may be elements of manipulation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and gaslighting among other things. Ultimately in those verses he's a villain and will be written as a villain. I will try to tag trigger warnings when I remember them, but kindly remind me if I forget to. If you have any triggers you want tagged, please let me know and gently remind me if I forget. You are responsible for curating your experience in the rpc so if any of these trigger warnings apply to you, please have the tags filtered!! I value your comfort as I do mine. I tag trigger warnings as "tw __//".

ELEVEN. Fair Warning: Strong language usage/profanity will be utilized in this blog, both in character and out.

TWELVE. There are no limits on how many threads you could have with me! I'm always happy to have more than one. And feel free to @ me in random starters, no need to ask!! I track #tapalslegacy so feel free to tag it, too!!

THIRTEEN. Doubles are okay. I don't mind them. I think it could set up a potential cool ATSV / NWH thread. Like the Spider-Man pointing meme.

FOURTEEN. Unless stated, all graphics, icons, and art that I post are mine. I make sure to provide credit where it's due otherwise. I utilize screenshots from my playthroughs of Fallen Order & Survivor in some of my graphics / icons. It takes me a REALLY long time to get them. Do not use or repost what I create without permission.

FIFTEEN. Affiliates and mains will always be prioritized in replies. Mains include, but are not limited to, portrayals of canon characters which I favor and therefore will get first priority in replies. I do not practice exclusives, as I like seeing how others play the same characters.

That being said, this blog is affiliated with .skysaunter

SIXTEEN. I can choose whether to reply to an ask in my inbox or not. I also have the right to drop threads, but will communicate if I have lost muse for a thread so we can plan another one. I do not need to disclose my reasoning for not answering an ask or for dropping a thread if I do not feel comfortable doing so. Sometimes, my drafts and ask count gets overwhelming so I may delete some when I feel that it is necessary to. In the event that it happens, I try to reach out back to you and let you know so we can start another thread.

SEVENTEEN. In order to adhere with roleplay etiquette, I ask you to be kind and courteous; please refrain from reblogging threads you are not a part of to be respectful towards myself and the mun I am writing with. Threads are not fanfiction. Feel free to read them, though, as it may provide context to a certain verse or just out of entertainment.

EIGHTEEN. I maintain the right to softblock others and I would like to let you know if I'd like to break mutuals. If we no longer vibe, feel free to softblock me. I believe this is a space in which we both are entitled to enjoy ourselves!

NINETEEN. As for replying to asks (which can always be made into a thread - no need to ask), I ask you to make your reply in a new post! Additionally in regards to formatting, I use xkit rewritten and trim my posts. I ask you to do the same, as I would like to keep my dash clean! I know there will be instances where that might not always be possible and that's okay! Just please try your best so we can both be courteous to others!

TWENTY. Though I have verses where Cal is a minor (Clone Wars, High School), I will not write n.sfw for Young!Cal or with muses who are minors. However, dark themes with Young!Cal is something I'd be interested in exploring.

Please note that rules are always subject to change, meaning I may add onto them in the future! Have a great one, and May the Force be with you!

No need to like this post if you've read, and no passwords required. I have faith that you've read my rules prior to interacting with me. I always try to read my rp partners' rules before interacting!

Due to personal reasons, I will not be giving out my D.iscord. But feel free to message me on here in IMs.

#𓇻 〵 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐇. 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐘. ( rules )#do not reblog #likes are okay

16 notes · View notes

ideas-on-paper · 1 month

Text

Antonia's dialogue about the Gold Coin Tree

Thanks to a post by @lopposting, I learned about Antonia supposedly having some extra dialogue about the portrait you find in the hideout of the Black Rabbit Brotherhood, provided you talk to her first after obtaining it. I was curious to see this for myself, and since I'm currently on my NG+ run, I used the opportunity to check.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get Antonia to share any bonus dialogue about the painting, so if it's there, I don't know how to trigger it. (If anyone does, please leave me a hint!) I did, however, coincidentally stumble upon some dialogue Antonia has about the Gold Coin Tree and the Alchemists that I was completely unaware of until now.

To get this dialogue, you need to unlock the Gold Coin Tree (take the lift in the Malum District Town Hall) and then go to Antonia and speak to her. (During my first playthrough, I made the mistake of picking up the portrait in the town hall and turning around as soon as I saw the lift, since I thought it would take me to an unknown area. As a result, I got the conversation where Antonia gives you the key to Rosa Isabelle Street first and ended up missing this one.)

Upon talking to her, you'll get the following dialogue:

Now, this dialogue is very interesting for a variety of reasons, especially since it might support certain lore theories I've seen around. I'll put the more detailed discussion under the cut, since it goes into spoiler territory.

[Spoilers ahead!]

So, the first thing we learn is that Antonia was aware that the tree was there all along - makes sense, considering she also knew about the hidden underground tunnels. In fact, I'd be more surprised if she didn't know it was there, since Antonia knows more about the hotel's secrets than anyone else.

More interestingly, Antonia mentions there was infighting among the Alchemists:

"The Krat Disaster caused the Alchemists to fight amongst themselves. Many people died or went missing. That's the real tragedy of the Rose Estate."

This dialogue has led to the theory that the mysterious Rose Estate incident was a coup instigated by Simon Manus to dispose of Valentinus as a leader, and having seen the full dialogue for the first time now, I feel inclined to agree. Also, I'm not sure, but since Antonia says the "Krat Disaster" is what caused the Alchemists' internal conflict, does that mean the Puppet Frenzy and Petrification Disease outbreak already occurred before the Rose Estate incident?

Regarding the Gold Coin Tree itself, Antonia says it reacts to Ergo somehow - I guess that's why P can pick fruits from it? (But if you need large amounts of Ergo to harvest the fruits, how was the Black Rabbit Brotherhood able to steal them? Then again, they do mention the Gold Coin Fruits aren't easy to get in their notebook…)

From both Antonia and Sophia's accounts, it's obvious that the Alchemists wanted to do something with the Gold Coin Fruits - the question is just exactly what. Perhaps it has something to do with the Saintess of Mercy Statue. The notebook of Alidoro (presuming it was written by the real one) mentions the tree being "used on humans". Could that mean that the fruits can be used with the statue to revive dead people somehow? (I wrote some stuff about that here, and how Giangio/Paracelsus might fit into this.)

Either way, I get the feeling there's more to the lore of the Saintess Statue...

#lies of p #lies of p lore #lore theories #antonia cerasani #gold coin tree #saintess of mercy statue

10 notes · View notes

emberfrostlovesloki · 6 months

Text

Aaron Fanfiction Analysis [an essay]

Photo credits: Left (Google) Center (@themoontaxi) Right (@citronplume)

A/N: I don’t know how many of you followed my page to read some academic work, but here we are, and I’d love it if you stick around to give this a read if you are so inclined. I recently read Rome’s @criminalskies story about a BAU reader who is feeling dysphoric due to being on their period during a long case. Aaron provides them comfort, and they come out to him. The link to that story can be found here (link). While I was reading it, I was so enamored that I started taking notes. If I like something, I take notes. After finishing it, I simply had to think about the literary devices being used, and this essay was born. I asked Rome if they were okay with this, and they agreed (thank you!). Then I finished the essay, and I asked if I could share it here too. Again, Rome agreed. Obviously, after Roland Barthes and The Death of the Author and all that. We understand that reading is subjective. This is just my little take on their story. Everyone reads and understands things differently. I thought I’d just share my thoughts with you. If nothing else, please check out Rome’s page and this story. They are a joy to know and be friends with. I'm currently working on an Emily fic and and an Aaron fic, so those will be out soon too. I hope you all have a lovely end of your weekend, and I’ll see you soon - Levi.

You can read the essay below the cut

Word Count: 3.1K

Content Warnings: Dysphoria and body image issues

List with all stories

P.S. I did the ungodly thing, and I printed this fanfiction on paper for the sake of annotations and in-text citations.

Fanfiction is a Gift

When someone who is not very familiar with the concept of fanfiction hears the term fanfiction brought up in conversation, there is a knee-jerk reaction to assume that this type of writing is not very good writing and that those writing it are teenagers. Both of those things may be true of some fanfiction writers. However, to address the quality of writing, if something is being written, no matter what skill level it is at, that is practice. Practice makes us better writers of all of us. So there will be no complaint about quality from me on that count. But there are other types of fanfiction writers as well. There are adults who consume content and adore it so much that they want to add their voice to the narrative. They bring themselves open and willingly to the space. They share their stories with others to read and enjoy. Often, these writers are more inclusive than the content of the original material. After all, books, T.V. shows, movies, and all other entertainment media are made by the studios for one purpose -- money. The top executives of networks and streaming services are happy to discontinue a beloved show if it is not making a profit. Now some shows are disappearing entirely for tax write-off purposes. The mainstream shows that stay ongoing for years must appeal to the everyman. This often means inclusivity is not a top goal of the creators. This leaves many marginalized groups out. These often include LGBTQIA+, minorities, those who are disabled, and those with non-thin body types. It might come as a surprise to David Saslav or Sam Levinson, but not everybody looks like the characters on their platforms and shows. There has been a push for media to be more inclusive, and we see this in shows like Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, and What We Do In The Shadows, but the number of these shows pales in comparison to the mainstream media. Serial shows like Criminal Minds is one of those shows. The F.B.I. drama hosts a cast that is not very diverse, and topics of sexuality, racism, police brutality, and other pressing issues are addressed only briefly during the show’s sixteen-season run. This is where fanfiction writers bridge the gap. Writers allow themselves and others to be included in that world, with those characters. This writing is cathartic to many. It is healing what the mainstream refused to address. This is why fanfiction is a gift. To highlight how strong some fanfiction writers are, and the power they have over language, a literary analysis will be done on a recent story published on Tumblr. The author, Rome, was completing a request for a story involving the BAU team leader, Aaron Hotchner, and a non-binary member of the team who is feeling dysphoric during their period. Rome responded to that request with a masterpiece. The untitled story uses diction and tone to demonstrate how the reader feels embarrassed and frustrated by the situation they are placed in, pacing and juxtaposition are employed to highlight how time in the show and on a personal level seem to warp and change given the circumstances, lastly, characterization is used for the reader and Aaron to display how their dynamic changes by the end of the story.

The story starts in medias res, with the team attempting to solve a slew of murders in Louisiana. The team is stumped and tired. An argument breaks out between the reader and Dr. Reid. Here a variety of loaded words are brought up, including, “irritable,” “overdrive,” “annoyingly,” “hope,” and “exhausted” (Rome, 1). The use of these emotions sets the tone early on for the piece. This is not a fun or happy situation. The argument that takes place in the precinct highlights this, as the reader says, “‘Reid. Correct me based off something you read in the textbook I wrote one more goddamn time and I will see how far that giant brain of yours really is from your skull.’” (Rome, 2). The violent nature of the statement and the use of an expletive evince the tension in the room. Derek Morgan’s attempt to comfort adds no help, as he calls the reader “Mama” twice (Rome, 2). Morgan’s use of gendered terms only makes the reader more angry as they identify as non-binary but has not told the team yet. It is only Aaron who helps them calm down and moves them out of the room. The tone shifts from one of anger from the reader to concern from Aaron. As it turns out, not only is the reader exhausted, but has also started their period; thus the excess of emotions. Embarrassed, they move to the restroom and begin sobbing in pain from the cramps and identity crisis. Aaron moves into the space and immediately he becomes concerned as he hears his, seasoned, agent crying out in pain. He enters the bathroom stall and attempts to understand what’s happened. As he asks questions, the reader notes that his tone is “delicate” and “so laced with concern” (Rome, 7). Aaron embraces the reader to offer physical comfort in a situation that is clearly distressing to both of them. After a few moments, Aaron notices that the reader is holding the crumpled plastic of a pad. The realization hits him and “the penny finally drops, and he can understand why you were so volatile earlier” (Rome, 8). He still does not understand why the reader is so upset but true to his character on the show, he does not try and guess at an answer. He is compassionate at this moment. There is another tonal shift from care and concern to humor as the story lightens its tone.

The reader has asked Aaron to go back to the hotel, and he readily agrees. The reader asks Aaron, who is driving, to stop at a convenience store to get some needed supplies for their menstruation. They arrive at a store and the reader attempts to go in themself, but Aaron has none of it. He is told what the reader needs and moves into the store himself. While Aaron is very good at meeting the needs of the team, when he is faced with the choice of period products, he is suddenly at a loss. His experiences with his ex-wife does not help him much, and seeing him flustered like this brings a lightness to the story. As he faces down the tampons, he speaks aloud, “‘Light, ultra light, regular, overnight, sport, active, everyday, heavy, ultra max… shit’” (Rome, 12). Without wanting to disturb the reader, he gets one of every kind along with some comfort snacks. When the manly cashier makes a comment about women and “‘shark week’” Aaron responds, “Funny, sharks rather like eating invertebrates,” as he walks out the door (Rome, 14). There is one last major shift from humor to an understanding of passion and joy. The start of this shift is when, at the hotel, Aaron attempts a joke, saying, “‘I feel like it might be a human rights violation to deny a menstruating woman her sleep’” (Rome, 16). The use of gendered language, especially from Aaron, makes the reader uncomfortable in their body again. Aaron notices the shift and checks in to see if the reader is okay. He ends up joining them in their room. After the reader is changed, he perceptively states, “‘I can tell one moment you’re completely fine and the next it’s like you’re forty feet from your own body” (Rome, 19). By saying this, the reader reveals how they have been feeling over the past few months. That they feel their body and gender are not aligned. They note that they had hesitated to say anything for fear of being viewed differently and making work for Aaron. Aaron could care less. He is overjoyed that the reader is revealing their true self to him. Aaron states, “I am so, so happy, that I’m someone you’re comfortable to talk about this with’” (Rome, 21). The conversation continues for a while longer and there is an understanding between Aaron and the reader and real delight from Aaron in being pulled into the loop. The story finishes with a moment of intimacy and self-reflection from Aaron as he holds the reader tight to his body.

Criminal Minds normally follows a villain, or Unknown Subject [heretofore unsub] of the week. This provides a steady narrative arc for each of the episodes: a case is announced, the team debriefs, arrives at the location of the crimes, the team creates a profile, the team investigates, another murder or crime happens, the profile changes, the climax, and then the resolution, and closing monolog, as the team returns home on the jet. This structure is endemic in most police procedural shows and it provides a consistency to the narrative. Rome’s use of pacing is more dynamic and more personal. There is clearly a timeline for the team. They need to solve these cases as quickly as possible so less people die. There is an urgency in that. It pushes the team to the height of their emotions. This is mentioned early in the story as the case “stretched on for five days” with no leads (Rome, 1). In fact, time is often mentioned either in minutes or hours. As the fight breaks out between the reader and Derek the time is “1:15 in the morning.” This is one possible justification for the reader's outburst, but not the real one. Pace is brought up again as Aaron tries to understand what has happened. The reader realizes that their period coming has made them more emotional and they attempt to soothe Aaron. They realize, “[they’ve] gone from screaming to crying to comforting him in all under four minutes” (Rome, 3). The juxtaposition of emotions in such a short time frame has the audience focus on time. On the awkward encounter that has just happened. Pacing is also used to demonstrate Aaron’s care and devotion (even if he isn’t willing to admit to it) to the reader. As he kneels in a puddle on the bathroom floor, holding the reader, we are told, “He’s desperate to know what’s happened with you, but he will kneel here until his knees lock if it means you’ll tell him when you’re comfortable’” (Rome, 8). Aaron is such a stoic character and to see him acting so tenderly, going as far as getting his expensive suit dirty, and his willingness to be in pain shows the audience how much he cares about the reader. The fact that he is willing to be in pain, while the reader is in agony demonstrates his commitment to them. Aaron is one of the oldest members of the team, thus, his kneeling on, cold, hard, tile is not great for his joints. The lowered body position does end up affecting him when he does get up, we are told he “[lets] out a tiny groan as he stands up” (Rome, 9). The fact that they are both in pain ties the two together in an unspoken way. Aaron both in voice and action going forward, reassures the reader that he is thinking of them. Trying to get them to the hotel and comfort as quickly as possible. He makes statements like, “I won’t be a moment” to let the reader know he is cognizant of time and their discomfort. He drives efficiently, walks with determination, and does his best to be quick at finding the right tampon for the reader. The pacing takes a final turn as they enter the hotel. The times of events have slowly been shortening. These time frames move from days at the beginning of the narrative, to the possibility of hours on bent knees at the middle, and close with small moments. The reader tells Aaron, “Just one second,” as they prepare to change (Rome, 19). When the reader's real identity is revealed to Aaron, in an instant, moves, “[a] large pair of hands flys across the space between you on the bed” (Rome, 20). At the end, in their moment of intimacy, Aaron reflects on his admiration, and love, as the reader takes “short breaths” on his upper arm (Rome, 22). The juxtaposition of these time frames and pacing paired with the emotions of anger, then humor, and finally love leaves the audience feeling comfort and peace with Aaron.

The main crux of this story is the fact that the reader is feeling heightened dysphoria due to their period and hiding this fact about them from the team and more importantly, from Aaron. Thus the characterization of both the reader and Aaron changes and develops a good deal over the twenty-two pages of text. The reader starts out unsure of why they are so angry. Why has this case been so trying on them that night? The reader is at this point unaware of the unwanted, excruciating bleeding that will start soon. The reader is observed with “eyes welling up seemingly out of nowhere as you note that you are definitely not okay, You just don’t know why” (Rome, 3). Once they are aware of their period coming, the reader is not comforted by the fact. The bodily bloodshed only emphasizes that they do not belong in the body they inhabit. The reader notes,

The anticipation, your monthly [a] reminder of who you are forced to be, looming right in front of you. When you can feel your grasp on emotions slip just a little bit and those little voices in your head gain a little too much power. The thoughts of how your body doesn’t look anything close to who you feel you are. Rome 5

These painful external reminds pushes the reader to do things they don’t enjoy. To try and conform to some gender norm that does not align with them. The reader has gone as far as wearing makeup to appear more feminine, but all that accomplished was to make them feel like they were “playing a part… wearing a mask,” and “keeping up a facade with the team” (Rome 6). This discomfort continues but is slightly alleviated when Aaron comes to understand that they are on their period, and he reacts with care and compassion instead of a reprimand. At the hotel, the reader is upset again by Aaron's unintentional gendered words. In the bathroom of their hotel room. The shape and feel of their body bothers them, as they look in the mirror and think, “how miserable the stranger in the mirror looks” (Rome, 17). Not even putting on more comfortable clothes is helping, as their thighs appear more womanly in the stretchy fabric. It is not until the revelation is made that the reader’s gender identity lies between the male-female binary, that they fully relax. When they notice the “genuine joy radiating from Aaron,” they know they can fully be themself around him (Rome, 18). And still, the pain persists, but in Aaron’s gentle embrace, they can finally rest. Aaron goes through a similar character transformation. Even at the beginning of the story, it is never stated that he is mad at the reader. He is just very concerned. He is as baffled as the reader as to why they are acting as they are. His thoughts mimic the readers as he thinks, “You're clearly very volatile and on edge. He just can’t figure out why?” (Rome, 3). The parallel in emotions is a foreshadowing of the feelings that Aaron will have at the end of the text. The sound of the reader crying intensifies those latent emotions. As Aaron holds the reader close to him for the first time that night, he thinks that “he couldn’t care less about the surroundings, his hand finding the back of your head to hold you close to his aching heart” (Rome, 4). He continues to be concerned and his emotions are pulled, as he only wants to bring the reader some relief. He is eager to help monetarily by buying an array of period products and painkillers. This is a help, but Aaron wants to physically comfort his agent. His distress over the reader even finds voice in anger, as he insults a burly man unwilling to interact with his partner during her time of the month. At the hotel, there is more comfort for the reader, but he can still see pain in them. This pain is less associated with their period. When he asks for clarity for his own sake, he grows nervous: “He silently prays you aren’t about to begin an interrogation” (Rome, 18).

When all is finally made known, he is ecstatic. As the reader states that they fear their new identity might be a burden to him and the team, he is quick to say, “I want to make you feel as comfortable as I am able to accommodate” (Rome, 18). And in the end, Aaron is able to provide that physical comfort again as he acts as a living heating pad. He envelopes the reader in his body, his warmth. And as he begins to drift off to sleep, he questions his emotions once more, asking the rhetorical question, “Right?” as he sleeps (Rome, 22). Aaron’s character arc is centered around his care of the reader and his feelings for them. There is no dramatic “I love you” but the outpouring of small gestures and care given by Aaron to the reader clearly displays his love of them in all their complexity.

There are so many other literary devices that are used here such as simile, personification, descriptive language, and imagery. However, the elements examined here felt the most weighty. Held the attention longer. When reading and rereading this work, many times I thought, “God, I wish I was the reader!” And here is the great delight in fanfiction -- you are the reader! Inclusive fanfiction belongs to everyone who wants to be involved. Not all fanfiction attempts this. Not all fanfiction is a reader insert or “x reader” as it is often seen on Tumblr, but to live in a time where such care is given to those often standing on the outside is amazing. It is kindness and care just like Aaron comforting and accepting the reader is kindness and care. I do not mean to say that all media, be it books, movies, or TV shows is not inclusive. Some of it is, and I’m glad for that, but much of the time diversity is added as a bonus, so the creators can pat themselves on the back and say, “We’ve got that group covered at least.” I will continue to give praise to those who give so much of themselves for everyone else. Fanfiction really is a beautiful thing.

14 notes · View notes

lemony-snickers · 2 years

Note

Hi, I'm new to Tumblr so please tell me if I did this wrong, but would it be possible to request a kakashi x fem reader fic (both over 18 of course) ?

I truly don't know if you're comfortable with this but something like: They have feelings for one another but did not really act upon it. but for some reason there is this tension while on a mission and the reader just kisses him to shut him up or some reason and he's like "I want more?!?" it could be smut, I honestly don't know. oh and I hope I did not make you uncomfortable, that is the least I would want to happen. Thank you so much for reading this mess

Love love love your writing sooo much:)

hey there anon! welcome to tumblr!

eventhoughit’sbeenawhilesinceyousentthisinsoyouaren’treallytthatnewanymoredasdf;sadf

this is a fine way to send in a request and def did not make me uncomfortable in any way! i hope you enjoy this little one-shot. it’s not full smut, more just suggestive; hope that’s all right.

Title: Just a Kiss (AO3 Link Here) Summary: If Kakashi had just shut up when you asked him to, none of this would have happened. But now your fingers are in his hair and his arms are around your waist and you don’t think you could stop even if you had to. Not even if the Hokage himself appeared beside you. Word Count: 1,521 Warnings: fem!reader, rated M for suggestive content .

Kakashi hates these types of missions. It’s always so boring, just sitting and waiting. You know he hates them because he has not stopped talking about it since you arrived at your destination two days ago.

“This is so boring,” he says for what feels like the five hundredth time. “Why are we even here?”

You grit your teeth, hands fisting in the fabric of your yukata. “Because it’s our job, Hatake. Now kindly be quiet so I can actually do mine.”

The truth is, you are inclined to agree with your partner. You’re no more interested in surveillance than he is. The fact that you’ve been paired with such an infuriatingly vocal shinobi--who would have thought the surly Copy Ninja was so outspoken when provided the right opportunity?-- only adds to your frustration.

Because watching gang leaders purchase drugs and weaponry and forbidden scrolls is not at all a good time. It’s tedious and time consuming, scribbling down every item that changes hands, especially when you’re trying to be surreptitious about it in a crowded club while maintaining a different transformation jutsu every twelve hours.

But having Kakashi grumble constantly in your ear only makes it worse; only makes the endless days feel longer. This does not stop him, however, from continuing to complain and annoy you for the next half-week, constantly groaning about his back, insisting his knees can’t withstand the prolonged sitting anymore.

“Then go for a walk,” you tell him, but he shakes his head. “Can’t leave you. What if something interesting finally happens?”

Your snort. Such a thing is very unlikely. The Hokage has sent you to observe and report, nothing more. Anything short of a gang war breaking out or a coup of the feudal lord’s private residence the next village over will not be means for intervention.

At night, the two of you share a futon, turning to face away from one another as best you can. Your accommodations are better suited for rats than humans, in all honesty. The food the inn provides is hardly edible and you can’t wait to take a tepidly warm shower again once you’re finally back in Konoha, tired of the frigid baths you have here.

Two weeks of this and you’re about at your limit, especially when Kakashi will not stop lamenting your accommodations in addition to the assignment itself. He tells you that his last long-term, non-combat mission was as private security for a Daimyo, who let him sleep on the plush mattress of his guest house and had his personal chef prepare meals for him each evening.

He wonders aloud--and loudly--what you could have done to offend Hiruzen Sarutobi so badly as to land yourself (and therefore, by extension, him) in this shithole. You yourself begin to wonder how you ever found Kakashi Hatake attractive, how it was at all possible that when you received this assigment you were actually excited he would be your partner.

You are obviously an even worse judge of character than Kakashi is a sound sleeper.

You’ve taken plenty of partner missions before, shared plenty of bunks and futons and beds, but you’ve never met anyone who tosses and turns so thoroughly, always rising before the sun to finally give you a few mintues of undisturbed sleep.

It is the only time Kakashi seems to understand the benefit of silence.

The fact that he kicks himself out from beneath the sheet every morning to sit quietly on the opposite end of the room and read while you enjoy an hour or two of undisturbed slumber is the only reason you haven’t yet smothered him with his pillow. You offer to make him a sleeping tonic, but he waves the idea away.

“What? And be too groggy for our daily inspections?” he teases. For a moment you forget you’re irritated with him, but Kakashi reminds you only a fraction of a second later. “Then who will track the number of times the waiter picks his nose? Surely that’s above your pay grade.”

You grit your teeth, reminding yourself he has not slept well and is probably cranky as a result.

But you are not sleeping as well as you’d like either and Kakashi makes no such concessions on your behalf.

And one night, after a much longer day than most of the others during which you catalogued hundreds of individual pieces of weaponry and at least four crates of scrolls you’d had to recover in the dead of night to pry open and look at the actual contents, you return from your freezing bath to find Kakashi reading.

“Took you long enough,” he says.

You stuff your irritation down as you go about the rest of your nightly routine, but Kakashi never stops talking.

He complains about the splinter in his finger from the crates, that he can still taste the mushy rice you both ate for dinner. Even as you crawl onto the futon, exhausted and in desperate need of sleep, his sonorous voice drones on and on and on.

Finally, something within you snaps and you sit up, Kakashi’s eyebrows rising minutely when he finds you staring at him.

“Do you. Ever. Shut up.” Though it is ostensibly a question, you don’t lift your voice at the end of the sentence, leaving no room for confusion as to where you stand on the subject.

Kakashi grins. And whereas you should be delighted to see his face bare so often these days, your nostrils flare in irritation as he snaps his book closed.

“I’m just doing my job,” he says, feigning innocence.

“Is your job to annoy the shit out of me?” you ask. “Because if so, well done.”

Kakashi’s grin broadens and he leans forward, “I belive my job is to observe and report,” he counters. “And so I’m reporting to you what I’ve observed.”

“Well don’t.”

You aren’t sure how Kakashi finds any more space to take up between you because suddenly you realize how very close he is. But rather than exciting, you find his proximity infuriating.

“I believe I am the ranking shinobi on this mission,” he says flatly, “so if I think it behooves the mission to talk through our daily routine or to scrutinize the minutiae of it as part of our evening debrief, I don’t think there’s much you can do.”

He drones on and with every syllable, your chest feels tighter, your head throbs as the beginning tendrils of a migraine snake their way up your neck into your jaw. And Kakashi just keeps talking about everything and nothing.

“Will you please just shut up?”

Kakashi pauses only long enough for his single visible eye to glint in challenge. “Make me,” he whispers, that infuriating smirk still painted over his stupidly handsome face.

He doesn’t even give you a chance to respond before his mouth is moving again, meaningless words spilling out into the air between you and you do the one thing you think will probably catch him off guard enough to grant you a brief, silent respite.

You lean forward, clamp his handsome face between your hands, and mash your lips against his in the worst, most brutal kiss of your entire life. Your teeth clang against his and there’s the distinct taste of blood on you lip from the force of your attack.

But you don’t care because when you pull away a few long moments later, Kakashi Hatake finally seems at a loss for words.

Your victory is disturbingly brief, however, because just as you're feeling like you've won, a feral-looking smile carves its way across Kakashi's face. “Took you long enough.”

You don’t have time to answer before he pulls you back in, grasping you roughly around the waist to drag your body over his as he finally lies down. His book is trapped uncomfortably between your bodies, but you hardly care.

Because now that he isn’t talking, you can focus on all the reasons you were originally excited to have him here with you. Kakashi moans against your mouth and you grip his hair, giving yourself over totally to each cascading sensation; the gentle buzzing in your head and the sound of Kakashi’s panting replacing the incessant drone of his complaints.

Yes, you think as you roll onto your back, grinning up and meeting Kakashi’s hungry gaze. This is a much better use of your time than listening to the Copy Ninja rant about accommodations or arthritic joints.

He seems to agree because the next moment, his book is tossed across the room and all his irration appears forgotten, replaced by something much more pleasant. The sounds he makes that evening are better than any you've yet heard.

And if you’re a little late to your duties the next day, it’s not like anyone will notice anyway. Kakashi’s right; this mission is boring as hell and honestly a waste of time.

At least now you have something more to look forward to than just a cold bath at the end of the night, though you’re sure you’ll be needing one of those, too.

#lemony scribbles #kakashi hatake #kakashi x you #kakashi x reader #fem!reader #tw suggestive #this is a queued post

160 notes · View notes

dirtybiowareconfessions · 9 months

Note

Raven!! Our resident justice warrior, programmer and sex expert! Can you please share tutorials on how a woman can please another woman, if you have them available??? I did research of my own years back when I realized my sapphic inclinations, but all I got was shady porn sites. I'll conduct some more research now that I'm fully grown of course, but it never hurts to ask for a trusted expert's insight.

I don’t have vids, if that’s what you’re asking. But here’s some tips:

- TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. This is in all-caps because it’s important. It’s the most important thing I can tell you. Talk to your partner about sex, about what they like what they don’t like and what they would like to experience with you. Share fantasies, share your favourite porn (yes fan fiction counts), ask them to teach you how to pleasure them.

That said, here are some other tips:

- invest in foreplay, kissing, running your fingers over your partner’s body, gripping them

- if your partner is into hair pulling: grab a handful by the nape of the neck and direct them however you want, either making them stand still or guiding them towards the position you want. Grab a LOT, grabbing just a few strands leads to actual hurt, and not the good kind

- don’t go straight for the clit, tease them first, lick around the vulva, give the inner thighs some attention by kissing/biting/licking

- if you want a little temperature play, after you ate them up for a while, blow cold air into their vulva.

- if they’re into edging, then definitely ask them to teach you how to please them… then do something merely *similar* or just straight out edge them until they need to cum, the release after a long play session? 10/10

- teasing can happen with fingers, mouth, toys, but the brain is still your best ally in sex: dirty talk goes a loooooooong way, ex: ‘I’m going to put something in your mouth, and then you’re going to show me how you like it, and how grateful you are’ then sit in their face or feed them your fingers.

- unless specified otherwise, pleasure should be mutual, but not focused on orgasm.

- if they like it, play with their breasts, pinching, kneading, biting, sucking.

- don’t underestimate how powerful looking at someone is, devouring them with your eyes, slowly

- if your partner tastes good, tell them so

- if your partner likes to be penetrated with toys or a strap, invest in a hula hoop and train at least 3x a week. This will train the muscles you need.

- if you’re into being pleasured, then give your partner feedback on what they’re doing right, and redirect them if they’re on the wrong place

- teach your partner how to please you

- do NOT berate your partner while you’re both in bed. (Unless they’re into that) it feels awful to be berated during an intimate and vulnerable act.

- after everything is said and done, ask for feedback. What they liked, what they didn’t, where you can improve. Also give feedback.

- kiss, kiss often, and kiss passionately.

- when it comes to consent? practise FRIES: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific. Everything I’ve said so far implies your partner and you have agreed that you’re both into it.

Anything that isn’t an enthusiastic ‘yes!’ is a no. ‘I guess so..?’ it’s a no ‘we can if you want to’ is a no, ‘I’ll fuck you just to shut you up,’ is a no.

involve consent into your dirty talk ‘I’m going to do X while you tell me how you feel, if you stop, I stop.’

- cut your nails FFS! Middle and pointer fingers, else you’re gonna tear up their vagina

- even if you’re not into kink, spicing up your sex lives with bondage tape is always interesting. It only sticks to itself, it doesn’t pull on hair or skin. Just don’t cover the nose with it

Aaaaaaaabd that’s all I have for now. Anyone else with tips feel free to chime in!! ^^

-r

#mod raven #raven replies #not a confession #idk about the whole ‘justice warrior’ thing #but thank you

24 notes · View notes

robinofgothamcity · 2 years

Text

"i'll be your tutor."

character: eli brooks / the girl next door

pronouns used: she/her

note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / please don't clown me this is my first time writing for eli and i struggled a bit lmao

"dude, she won't go for you. klitz maybe but she's not into weird guys like you," a friend of yours told eli who looked mightily offended at what she had said. you were sitting down on your computer typing up the last bit of your paper when your friend caught eli staring at you with no bit of shame, "and why do you say that?" he asked.

klitz knew what she had meant when she said that you'd be into him more than eli. you were academically smart and really only associated yourself with those who were in your classes. you and klitz were off to yale in the fall as the two of you were the only students in the entire student body accepted to an ivy league school.

"i know you're dumb eli but use what you learned in english and gather context clues here," she said. eli thought about it for a quick second, "you're saying i'm dumb?" your friend started laughing as they all saw you approaching them. eli stood in place subtly fixing his shirt.

"hey, ap world starts in a few minutes and we shouldn't be late," you told your friend and klitz. you gave a wave to his friend matt before looking to eli, "hey," you greeted him before ushering the others to get a move on.

eli looked to matt with an excited look on his face. you knew of klitz's friend eli. he had this weird little porn directing ambition and although you knew it should have grossed you out, a part of you overlooked that. eli was cute and you knew if eli was athletically inclined, he'd be as popular as the other kids in the school. you; however, did know eli was not as smart academically. klitz had told you a few times that he struggled in the easiest subject sometimes.

now that summer was approaching and all of you were on the brink of graduating, you knew you had all summer to do as you pleased. yale didn't begin their classes until after labor day weekend and that would be more than enough time to actually fulfill any kind of activities that wouldn't be shoving your head into a book.

all of you got to ap world history when you opened your phone to see a message from the leader of the tutoring center.

"tutors needed asap. student names and subjects below:

eli brooks: american history from 1700s to present."

you saw the list of other names and realized that there wouldn't be many people to take eli as student.

"i'll take eli from 3-4:30."

you sent the text and put your phone back into your pocket. the lesson was boring but considering all you had to do was pay attention to the lecture and turn in half decent notes until graduation came, you knew it wasn't hard work. you had heard of the other ap students who still had to take exams even after the national exams had finished.

once class finished you saw klitz running up to you from his desk. you stared at him confused, "you'll really take eli? like you're not joking?" he asked frantically. you nodded, "you have no idea how much this means. he's literally on the brink of failing american history and not graduating," he said.

"american history is so easy. tell him i'll meet him in the library after school. he'll need his notebook and textbook."

klitz nodded as you walked away towards the cafeteria. you had a free period before you scheduled lunch hour which you usually spent doing homework in an empty classroom. klitz on the other hand sprinted to find eli. he found him already heading towards his math class clearly still not informed on what you had agreed too or else he wouldn't have been as calm as he was.

"dude check your phone!" he screamed causing eli to jump back. eli didn't say anything but did as klitz asked and saw a few messages.

"your assigned tutor: ( your name ). scheduled meeting times: mondays and wednesdays from 3-4:30."

eli stared at klitz as if he didn't believe what he read. he reread what the text said before shaking klitz, "if this is a joke give it up now," eli stated as klitz shook his head no, "she's serious she told me to tell you to meet her in the library with your textbook and notes after the bell rings!" he yelled back. they both sounded like little girls at the way they were screaming about this but this was practically a dream come true for eli. you were his tutor. his tutor.

"maybe you will graduate after all," klitz said. eli laughed in disbelief as he arrived to the front of his math class, "maybe she'll be in one of my movies?" eli asked klitz which immediately earned him a smack on the head, "don't ruin your chances by acting dumb!" he yelled as he realized the warning bell had rang off a minute ago and he was going to be late to class.

once classes finished you had made your way to the library. you had took out your snacks and laid them on the table as you pulled out a library copy of the american history textbook. you noticed eli at the entrance of the library doors as matt and klitz were talking to him. you couldn't make out what they were saying but you could tell they were excited about whatever it was.

eventually eli made his way towards you and sat down nervously across the table, "hey eli! so you're having issues in american history?" you asked. he nodded nervously, "well, what's the issue? dates? specifics of war?" you asked.

"i guess the dates of things. i failed my last three exams for not knowing the correct dates," your eyes widened hearing how many exams he failed in a row, "oh okay well i guess we'll start there. how about we focus on your next two exams which will be enough to have you pass with at least a C-."

eli sighed knowing he was actually going to have to actually do work but paid attention to what you were saying. the way you were bending over the table to point out a few things in the book made his look at your figure. your shirt was riding up showing your hips which caused him to get flustered.

"eli! pay attention! the 1930s market crash has a lot of dates to remember! if it's dates you're struggling with, this section has a lot of them you need to remember and what happened with them so i would pay attention."

before you could say anything else, your stomach grumbled.

"sorry," you said a bit embarrassed, "i had a few snacks before you got here but i skipped lunch accidentally but thats besides the point!" you said going back to the textbook. eli laughed at the way you tried to dismiss your hunger and stared back at the book.

the two of you remained in the library until your alarm went off indicating that your time with him was finished, "see you on wednesday? we could go over this and a few other things that you might need to learn," you said closing the textbooks.

you gave him one final smile as he waved at you goodbye. you knew you had to run home before it got dark or else your mom would yell at you once again for walking alone. before you could leave, you saw eli's hat on the chair next to where he sat. you grabbed the black cap reading the 'vivid video' on the front. you rolled your eyes but grabbed it knowing that he practically lived in that hat.

the next morning you got to school an hour before classes were set to begin. you always got there a few minutes to an hour because of how quiet the halls were.

you had placed eli's hat on your head and got to working on one of the school computers. you liked to mess with the computers they had in the tech room every once in a while. the computers were like bigger calculators in your mind and every chance you got to write your papers on them, you enjoyed it.

as the school got busier, you closed the computer and went on your way to find eli. you knew him and the rest of them hung out in the front of the school.

"hey eli, you forgot your hat yesterday in the library," you said approaching him. eli felt his heart racing seeing you in his hat. you took it off and placed it on his head, struggling to put it on his head due to his height, "see you guys around," you said hearing your friend calling your name.

eli snatched his hat, smelling it like a creep, "it smells her shampoo," he exclaimed. matt and klitz rolled their eyes, "kinda weird dude," matt said. eli shook his comment off and continued to hold it. he didn't want to get his feelings up but maybe he did hold a chance in dating you.

"when's the next time you guys study together?" klitz asked as they all headed towards homeroom, "wednesday. we have like two more study sessions before my next exam so she's crammed dates into my head like it's her job," he replied, "yeah, figured as much."

you decided to meet with eli on sunday at his place. you wanted to make sure he got a few extra hours of studying done before his exam tomorrow. from the small quizzes you had given him throughout the week, you knew he would pass even if it was by a slim chance.

the May heat was starting to begin which meant that you were now wearing a bit more of revealing clothing. you had on a yale tanktop and athletic shorts. you opted for the most comfortable things you had in your closet and that was the closest thing to loose clothing.

"i think we could use a break," you exclaimed slamming his book down. eli laughed as he tossed you a water from his small fridge, "tired?" he asked. you nodded, "yale has been bugging me about getting in my grades as soon as possible and we have entrance exams next time so i've been busy. what colleges have you applied too?" you asked.

eli stayed quiet not knowing what to say.

"a few, why do you ask?" you shrugged, "just wondering. i know klitz and i are going to yale and matt is heading to georgetown so i figured you'd be going somewhere close to either of them." he never thought of applying to surrounding schools to where klitz and matt were going but he was too late. he knew most schools closed applications in march.

"why don't you apply to community colleges in new haven or washington d.c.? you know that going to community colleges and transferring credits to a four year saves you money," you explained, "i feel like a stupid admissions counselor right now but it's true. you could still be close to matt or klitz if you did that."

"why do you care so much?" eli asked without realizing how rude he sounded. you laughed as you noticed how quickly he covered his mouth, "you're my student eli. i know you're smart, you just have to push yourself harder, that's all. i also know about that other dream you have and i mean, in theory, you could go to school for directing or filming," you responded.

eli stared at you as if you were einstein, "you're right," he murmured, "i tend to be," you joked as you smacked your pen on the book in front of him, "lets get back to studying brooks and if you get most of the questions right, you'll get a surprise," you replied.

eli was surprised to hear what you had said last but grabbed the printed paper from your hand and got to work. you sat back, enjoying the fan that was hitting your face and waited for eli to finish the small quiz. it took him a few minutes but once he finished, he looked back up and saw you with your eyes closed and taking in the cold air that was hitting you.

"done," he responded. you bent over and grabbed the paper along with your pink pen. eli stared at you nervously. he wanted to know what the surprise was but it felt as if you were taking your time, "why is it that you work the hardest when you have an offer at the end?" you asked playfully as you handed back the perfect 100%.

you put the books away and smiled, "your surprise is that you're done an hour early," you joked as he deflated at what you said. you moved the books onto the floor and couldn't help but notice how cute he looked. he was leaning towards the back of the chair as he was sitting on it with the back facing the front.

"anyone ever tell you how cute you are?" you asked suddenly. eli was taken back by what you had said, "no," he stuttered nervously. you laughed as you bent to try and get closer to him, "i mean, you're a little weird given that porn directing dream you have but hey, we all have our interests, right?"

eli couldn't believe what he was hearing. here you were, one of the smartest kids in the entire school calling him cute. you didn't even find him wanting to direct porn that weird!

"yeah i guess," he murmured with a bundle of nerves overtaking him. you smiled and leaned in closer to him, "maybe i can be in one, discreetly of course," you whispered. eli felt like he had ascended to heaven because of what you were saying.

"you'd be into it?" he asked. you laughed at how suddenly confident he was, "i mean, you can at least ask me out to be your girlfriend first," you replied. you felt eli's breath hitting your lips making you want to just smash your lips on his but you restrained from doing so.

"you pass your exam and i'll let you take me out on a date. how does that sound?" you asked. you had bent yourself over enough to push up your breasts to try and make him even more flustered but eli's confidence had overtaken him and smashed your lips on his. you laughed in-between kisses but let him continue. his hand found yours as he intertwined them.

before you could moan any louder than you just were as he bit down on your lip to tease you he pulled away and felt like he was on cloud nine.

"can you help me study some more?" he asked now excited more than ever. you nodded, pulling yourself back and opening up the textbook again. a part of you really did hope eli passed his exam because if he was this great of a kisser as a virgin, you knew third base would take you by surprise.

"the 1930s great depression started because of......"

#the girl next door #the girl next door x reader #the girl next door imagine #eli brooks #eli brooks imagine #eli brooks x reader

155 notes · View notes