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onlyonetifosi · 2 years

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I want you back

-> Does she really hates him for what he did?

-> Word Count: 970

->Author note: another childhoold love lol <3 English is not my first language so sorry for mistakes

Max Verstappen's story is one that is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. The young driver has had a tough life, but he's always had his friends by his side.

Less his childhood best friend who he pushed apart because she came from a poor background, what happens if she starts working for Red Bull? This creates a rift between the two friends, but as they say, there is always room for redemption. Will Max be able to mend fences with his old friend? Or will their differences continue to drive them apart?

-What are you doing here?- He growls at her, who was editing photos in her laptop after been contrated by red bull as the team's social media manager .

-I'm doing my job, what about you?- She retorts, who's also covering the event for the social media of red bull. Max is clearly bothered by her presence and his words are more harsh than he intended them to be. He knows he was scolding an innocent person, but it's all triggered by the memories of their past.

Lara had a rough childhood where money was tight and they don't have much of anything. Her mum, who worked in a local grocery store can't make ends meet, so most of the time they go hungry. The only time when they're not starving is when Lara's mom manages to bring some food home after her shifts. When they grow up to be teenagers, Lara gets a job at McDonald's while Max dreams of becoming a Formula 1 driver. This means that she has to stop going to school to support her family, while Max attends a prestigious driving academy which costs more than what she makes in two months of work combined.

As expected, their worlds become apart as Lara becomes resentful towards him for being born into a wealthy family while she has to suffer every day just to put food on the table. The worst part is that he doesn't even seem to care about how hard her life is since his parents are always there for him with whatever he desires. One day, Max finally snaps and confront her about how unfair she's been treating him and their friendship ends there. They don't talk to each other for years until they both end up working in Formula 1. By then, Max has already forgiven her but he knows that it will take more time for her to do the same. However, he never expects that she will also be working for Red Bull as well! The thing is, she doesn't know that he did and he doesn't intend to ever tell her. The reason being that he knows she's still not over what happened between them and if she knew it was him, she wouldn't forgive him either.

-I can see that- he says clearly annoyed at her tone.- I refer what are you doing here in red bull. -So what if I'm working for Red Bull? It's not like it's a secret or anything. -Lara says trying to sound casual but she can't help but wonder why he's being so cold towards her. -Of course it isn't. It's just that I never expected to see you here, that's all. -he says quickly before Lara is turning her attention back to her work. Max is about to say something but decides against it and walks away.

He knows there's no point in trying to talk to her when she's acting like this.

A few weeks later, Max is in his car on the way to the Red Bull factory when he gets a call from his sister. He knows she's been trying to set him up with her friend for weeks now but he's been avoiding it. He doesn't want to date anyone right now, especially not someone his sister has chosen for him. However, she's persistent and he knows that if he doesn't do something, she'll keep bugging him about it. -Hey, Max. I just wanted to remind you about my friend Sarah. You know, the one I've been trying to set you up with? -Yeah, I know who you're talking about. -But you haven't even met her yet! -I don't want to meet her, okay? I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. -Why not? It's been two years since your ex-girlfriend dumped you and you haven't even looked at another girl since then. -I'm just not ready yet, alright? -Fine, don't date Sarah then but at least meet her. She's really nice and I think you two would get along great. -Fine, I'll meet her but that's it. I'm not promising anything more than that. -Great! I'll let her know and we'll meet you at the café near your apartment tonight at 7:00 pm. See you then! He hangs up the phone and sighs deeply. He knows his sister means well but he can't help but feel annoyed by her constant attempts to set him up with someone new. He knows she just wants him to be happy but he doesn't want to date anyone right now. He loved his ex-girlfriend very much and he can't imagine being with anyone else right now.

He arrives at the Red Bull factory and parks his car in the parking lot. She sees Verstappen walking towards him and wonders what he's doing here so early in the morning.-Hey, Max.- Verstappen greets her with a smile.- What are you doing here so early?-I could ask you the same question.- Max replies as they walk inside the building together.-I just wanted to get an early start on things.- She says casually.-You're always so dedicated to your work.-I have to be if I want to be the best.- Max replies with a shrug.-I guess that's one of the things we have in common.- Lara says with a smile.-Yeah, I guess it is.- Max replies as they stop in front of their respective offices.-Well, I'll see you later.-Yeah, see you.- Max says as he watches her walk away before going into his own office and starting his day.

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Next race was Zandvoort, his home race so he was going to his childhood home for the week.

-Hoi mam, ik ben thuis (hi mom,im home) - he yells when he enters through the front door.

-Mijn jongen hoe knap je eruit ziet (Hello baby, how handsome you look) - she says with a smile.

-Lara's mum called, she is in red bull in media, have you seen her?- neither of them told their mum's that they didn't talked anymore. -No, I haven't.- he says while they walk to the kitchen where dinner was ready.

When he walks into the garage on Sunday morning Max sees Lara with Helmut and Christian talking about something.He sees her smile and laugh and keeps looking at her completely mesmerized by what she does to him without even knowing it when she's not even trying to make him feel like that., Max.- Christian yells as he pushes Max towards Lara who just started laughing again. -Nice save.- she teases as her eyes meet Max's for a moment before looking away from him quickly, holding his breath as she does it too and hands him the sheet of paper before turning around again.She wanted to turn around just one last time but if he sees her do that she knows what will happen next so instead she walks away leaving Max standing there alone watching after her..- Helmut asks after a minute when Max still doesn't say anything or follow them back inside so they can get ready for qualifying which was in 45 minutes. It was always hard for him focusing on races because right now all he could think about was that girl walking away from him, leaving him wanting more.

It was hate between them or there was something more behind the facade. He was afraid to find out what it was, though. He has been burned before and he was trying to gain her back, at least to be back friends again.

Zandvoort was insane with the orange army there so Max was estatic and he won the race. After all the post-race interviews, he went to find her to admit why he did what he did that years ago.

"I'm sorry for what I did," he said. "I was an idiot and I was trying to get your attention. I was jealous of your boyfriend and I wanted to get back at you. I was stupid and immature and I hope you can forgive me." She looked at him, her eyes full of tears. "Of course I forgive you," she said. "I've been wanting to talk to you for years but I was too scared and hurt. I'm sorry for what I did too."

They hugged each other tightly, both of them crying. They finally had closure and they could move on with their lives. “I want you to came to Monaco with me, to a date” -He offers - "I would love that"- she admits- it's been rough this years without you. " She smiled and they went home to start packing for their trip.

"Ik houd van je schatje" "ik hou ook van jou " (I love you baby/ I love you too)

Finally, they were getting the happy ending they deserved.

#max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen #f1 blurb #f1 drivers x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine

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carladuquette · 1 year

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My best friend is super brave. She has been struggling with severe mental health issues the entire time I've known her. And this past Sunday, she opened up about all of it in a social media post – all of it out there for everyone, her family, her friends from all stages of her life, to see. Can you imagine?? She said it had been on her mind so much that she needed to get it out and that after sharing her story, she felt tearful but relieved. I am still in awe of her, and the idea of opening up, sharing something of yourself that you normally keep hidden, inspired me.

It also freaks me out and I'm not as brave as my best friend, so I'm not sharing my story with everyone in my life. It's easier to do it here, where most people don't know my full name or my face or where I work or who my mom is. At the same time, it's not the same as screaming into a void, because I do feel like I have some sort of connection with some of the lovely people I've met here. A perfect middle ground, if you will.

If you know anything about me, you know I'm wordy and can't be short and to the point to save my life, so it's no surprise that this is going to be on the long side, too. But hey! As my best friend put it, I'm giving myself the "gift of openness and understanding."

I have an eating disorder. (And I'm going to be somewhat explicit about it, so if this is triggering for you, please take care and put yourself first.) I have never used these words before and even right now, part of me thinks that's bullshit. That I'm being overdramatic, trying to get attention. Because I'm fine! I'm not anorexic, I'm not bulimic, I'm just not the healthiest eater and don't really like the way my body looks, like almost all women everywhere ever.

But the fact is that I threw up my dinner tonight because I felt like I shouldn't have eaten it, or all of it, in the first place. This is what I do. I don't binge to then purge, but I throw up food when I feel disgusted with what I ate. I'm mad at myself that I don't have the self-control to just eat less, so instead I throw up what I regret. That can be the occasional junk food haul, the treat I was excited about when I picked it up and took it home (an excitement that turns sour quickly), or a nice dinner at a restaurant with friends. I've been hunched over the toilet in my favorite Mexican restaurant more than once, waiting for the woman in the other stall to leave so I could throw up without anyone overhearing.

The part of me that doesn't think I have a problem points out here that I don't do this all the time. I go for months at a time without throwing up at all. Years sometimes! (Other times, when it’s bad, I do it several times a week.) I first started doing this when I was 16. Before tonight, I haven't thrown up in a few weeks, and before that, probably two months. So, clearly not a problem!

Except that it's exhausting. I want to be able to have mediocre fries and chicken filet bites, or feel full and stuffed and happy without panicking about how all this food I just ate is going to make me gain weight. And on that – I would love to return to a place where I can tell what my body actually looks like. Because I have no idea anymore. I don't know what's normal anymore.

I look in the mirror from the side and will be destroyed because what I see is disgusting, even though I'm pretty sure (I hope?) that's not objectively true. Then I see a current photo of myself where I think I look good, or I catch a glimpse of myself and think "Hey, that's not too bad!" Then that same day I see my reflection in a window at the office and am horrified again. And I know, rationally, that it is not possible for my body to look completely different a few hours apart. That it's just in my head. But there's nothing I can do about it.

This distorted body image, unlike the throwing up, is relatively recent, something that crept up on me during the pandemic, and I'd love to go back to a time where I was happy with the way I looked. Which, by the way, wasn't that much different from now, I think. But I'm not sure.

I've gone on a couple of rants here about how mad I am about what society has done to women. How angry it makes me to see women feel like they have to starve themselves for love or approval or success because thinness is valued above all else. And I've talked about how that behavior is nothing to emulate. I hope all of what I've shared in this post today doesn't make me a hypocrite. I still stand by what I said earlier. The thoughts that are put into our heads by everything we see around us, the way it's drilled into girls and women, sometimes subtly and sometimes less so, that what matters most is our looks, is infuriating. It's hard not to let that get to you, and I guess I did, too. Even though the part of me that thinks I'm just being overdramatic says that my problem isn't society, it's just the fact that I am lazy and can't watch what I eat. But you know what? Fuck that girl. At least right in this moment, I can say that and believe it.

I feel better just having gotten all of this out for the first time. My best friend, the brave one, is the only person who knows about my eating disorder, and she encouraged me to do this. So I'm sharing this in her honor – cheers, girl. It's ok to be open. It's also fucking terrifying. But maybe it can help. And if you have something you feel you need to get out, if you feel inspired by my best friend too- my inbox is always open, for a private chat, an anonymous ask, whatever.

Aaaaand post 💌

#personal #best friends #aka life savers #cw eating disorder #cw body image #long post #like… looong post

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manicinnerthoughts · 1 year

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I realized today that a huge part of my issue is that I genuinely have no idea who I am. I don't think I ever really knew who I was. I adopted my brother's taste in music and my mother's love for art. The only thing I know for sure is that I am a black female with a shitload of trauma.

I didn't get to grow up with any black influences in my life. Never met my dad's side of the family, the only black figures in my life were my mom's countless boyfriends, and I went to all predominantly white schools.

I've always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I remember when I was a kid I was constantly told I'm the whitest black girl they'd ever met. It didn't help that I was light-skinned, but that's not what they were referring to; they were referring to the fact that I didn't "act black".

We were too white for the very few black kids we knew but black enough for the white kids to ask us why we didn't live in the projects and the white churchgoers to ask us if we were adopted.

My mom used to think it was funny to say that she's blacker than we are because she grew up with all black people and went to predominantly black schools. Yet somehow didn't think it was important for her black children to experience anything other than whiteness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another thing I have realized recently is that nobody knows me outside of the basic information: my name, where I grew up, my favorite color, my hobbies, and my favorite animals. Even my IRL friends couldn't tell you anything about my life, any genuine knowledge about me.

I want people to know me, but my adult life and my childhood have been 90% trauma and I don't even know where to begin to explain this shit to anyone. I mean, I guess I kinda did that above; I'd like to say that the issues surrounding my ethnicity and identity sums up my childhood trauma, but that's not even the beginning.

I guess it really started by being repeatedly ripped away from my family. I had been in 5 RTFs, 2 respite homes, 2 foster homes, and 3 outpatient facilities by the time I was 17 (which is actually when I was diagnosed with autism). On top of that, we lived in 4 different homes before I graduated high school so I quite literally moved around my entire life.

Imagine being 5 years old and having just been removed from your household for the very first time. Now imagine going through that regularly throughout your childhood. That alone fucks kids up.

My entire life consisted of being the new girl; getting used to new rules, adjusting to new personalities, struggling to make friends; making friends then leaving them.

That's a lot of change for an undiagnosed autistic child (or even an NT child) to go through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life has been a majority of being abused and I genuinely have very few happy memories growing up. My mom has done a lot of fucked up things to me; she's called me racial slurs, thrown things at me, hit me, and even burned me, but none of that compares to the fact that she did nothing to protect me from her boyfriend (I'm assuming you understand where this is going. I don't want to go into detail) Instead of being a loving mother and breaking up with him to keep me safe she kicked me out a few months after I graduated.

That's how I left one abuser for another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had just graduated high school & moved directly into a homeless shelter for a little while. Before I got kicked out I started talking to a guy I went to school with and he said I could stay with him for a while. I was so happy to get out of there that I said yes and I moved in with him.

I stayed with him for 8 years and during those 8 years I was raped repeatedly, held hostage, beaten, and he tried to kill me twice (I know a lot of you are probably thinking you could've just left, but we lived in a third-story apartment and he quite literally imprisoned me. I am also epileptic so I didn't have a license and no family to stay with).

To this day I automatically assume everyone I meet is going to hurt me. My friends have hurt me, my mom has hurt me, the man who claimed he loved me has hurt me. I genuinely fear getting close to people now to the point I isolate myself in a room.

I have tried so hard to heal from all of the shit I have been through. I'm afraid I'm stuck hating myself and everyone around me and I have no clue how to change my view of myself and my view on the world around me.

I know this has probably jumped around a lot and for that I apologize. This has just been me manically writing about shit I struggle to cope with.

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themomsandthecity · 3 months

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I Love Being Child-Free, but Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Older?

Content warning: The following story contains a mention of intimate-partner violence. I own one ring. It's gold with an aquamarine stone in the middle and two tiny diamonds on each side. On an otherwise unremarkable day a few years ago, my mom looked down at the 1970s-era piece of jewelry hugging her finger, said, "Here," and handed it to me. If I had to guess, I'd say she gifted me the ring because it came from an old boyfriend, and my dad is a jealous man. I've kept some gifts from old boyfriends myself: DVDs, books, lingerie. I've kept a few notes and photos as well. They're nestled in a vintage suitcase, another hand-me-down from my mom, which she took with her from southeast Missouri to Memphis, TN, to Kansas City, MO, and back again after divorcing her first husband. It functions as my guitar stand, and I almost never open it. Occasionally, I wonder if ritualistically burning every memento it holds might be healing. A few months ago, one of my nieces asked me what I keep in there - "there" being the vintage suitcase. When I told her it was full of "old boyfriend stuff," she surprised me with, "That's what I thought." She is the most intuitive kid I've ever met. She's intensely curious, and her curiosity got me wondering: who will I give my "old boyfriend stuff" to? Both of my siblings, most of my cousins, and a few of my friends are parents, so my life is full of wonderful kids these days - but they aren't mine. I'm Aunt Lizzy, not mom. I started thinking about my aunts and uncles, and how I've always assumed their kids would take care of them as they age. A line of thinking that eventually led to: who will take care of me when I can't take care of myself? My mom spent nearly a decade taking care of her dying parents. When she and my dad start dying, my sister and I will take care of them. But assuming my own death isn't sudden, I have no idea who will take care of me as I age. I'm the youngest sibling in my family. I'm happily single, I'm child-free by choice, and I'm not a wealthy woman. I love being an aunt, but I don't want children of my own; I have absolutely no desire to experience pregnancy or birth. I used to consider adoption a possibility, but that doesn't appeal to me these days either. I love kids, but I don't want to raise one. Rejecting motherhood is a life choice I'm completely at peace with. Even so, if I'm lucky enough to live a long life, I wonder how my choice will impact me in my final years. I will always be there for my nieces and nephews, but I can't expect them to always be there for me - they have their own parents to take care of. I had my medical power of attorney notarized in 2023. Concerned for my health, the notary working with me said, "Is something going on?" I replied, "No, but coming from a family of healthcare workers makes me want to be prepared." It was entirely true, but it's also true that death is part of life, and aging is a privilege. I know this personally: shortly after my 25th birthday, I ended a long-term relationship with a guy who threatened to kill me on more than one occasion. Shortly after my 29th birthday, I came close to dying from an unexpected illness that nearly caused multiple organ failure. A while back, my sister and I were sitting on her couch talking about death. Specifically, we both said we hoped not to die alone. One of my nieces was sitting with us, and when I said, "Maybe you'll be there with me," her only response was a sad smile and a hug, followed by a request to change the subject. I suppose "maybe" is all I can hope for. Perhaps it's all anyone can hope for, with or without children. I'm fortunate to have strong family ties, and I'm thankful for my chosen family. That power of attorney I mentioned earlier? My sister and a close friend hold the copies. When I needed to move out of the apartment my abusive ex and I shared, my parents dropped everything to help me. When I needed to be rushed to the hospital before my… https://www.popsugar.com/family/childless-long-term-care-essay-49337329?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

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bucky-barnes-diaries · 3 years

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Coming Home

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Captain America: The First Avenger

Pairing; 1940s!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary; Bucky finally reunites with you, safe and sound in your arms, after the gruesome war.

Word Count; 1969

Warnings; NSFW, 18+, minors DNI, mention of war and death, unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids.

Authors Note; not everything may be accurate to the 1940s, war or Bucky’s story. My apologies! Enjoy loves <3

Main Masterlist || Bucky Barnes Masterlist

All of your friends and family were mingling around the house, waiting for James to arrive through the front door at any minute now. It had been months since anyone saw him and people were more than excited to have him back home again. They were over the moon and thrilled that he had managed to survive the war and come home alive and well with all his limbs intact. There were so many brave soldiers coming home in caskets, their families forever in mourning at the loss of a loved one. All of you were so lucky that he was coming home in one piece.

It felt so familiar as you were sitting on the sofa waiting for him. Just like those months ago when you waited for him to come home with news of his enlistment but only this time you were waiting for him to come home safely to you.

“You alright, sweetie?” His mother questioned, taking a seat next to you as she saw you were deep in thoughts by yourself. A reassuring hand was placed on your shoulder as she gave a light squeeze. “I'm alright. I'm just so excited for James to come home finally. It's been half a year. I miss him dearly.” “Me too, sweetheart. It's going to be good to have my baby home again.”

Just then, the front door opened with no other than James walking through it, his uniform on, and a bag in hand. Everyone in the room gasped upon his arrival and then silent for a few long seconds. James didn't know what to do with himself while everyone kept staring at him. Like someone had flipped a switch, they all, at the same time, started clapping and hollering at him, finally being home again.

His mom, dad, and siblings were the first ones to hug and love him. Their son was home again, all in one piece. His mom was crying happy tears, and his dad kept telling him how proud he was of him. After that, it was everyone else's turn to greet and congratulate him.

You kept in the background, not knowing what to do with yourself. You were frozen. You couldn't move. Is this a trick? Is he really here, or was your mind playing a sick game with you. No. It was him, your loving husband, in the flesh.

He searched for you, his loving wife, that he had missed so much. His eyes were scanning the crowd of people that had gathered around him for any signs of you. Where were you? Why weren't you here to receive him?

That's when he finally caught your eye when a small gap was created in the crowd. Tears were streaming down your face as you held around yourself. Your mouth was opening and closing, but he could see that no words were coming out of it.

Without thinking, he went straight to where you were and stood just a few steps away. All you did was stare at one another for hours, it felt like. His own tears started to be produced at seeing you after so long.

“Bucky, it's you… You're here…?”

“I'm here, my love. I'm home.”

After such a long time without his touch, you finally felt whole again when he took those last steps towards you to wrap you tight and secure in his arms. That missing piece of you filled up with warmth and love at having him safe and sound by your side again.

It wasn't enough for both of you with only the arms enclosing each other. Your whole body wrapped itself around him as he held you up in his arms.

The other people left you to be for your little intimate reunion. Like this, you stayed for a few moments. Holding onto one another after such a long time.

“I missed you so much, my wife. Every second of every day, I thought about you. To be in this moment again in your lovely arms. To be this close once more.”

“Bucky, I missed you so much. My heart is finally whole again now with you here in my arms where you belong.”

The two of you were craving each other's lips after months apart. A whole series of pecks were left on one another to feel the comfort of your lips on each other. You stayed in your bubble for just a while longer. Caresses and comforting words left between you two before realization hit that you needed to join the others.

“I want to take you upstairs to our room and make love to you after so long, and I will tonight, my love. I'll give you all of me, but right now, we need to return to the others.”

As much as you wanted him to take you upstairs, he had a point. All of these people were here for him as well. It would be rude to leave them. After months apart, you could manage to survive a few more hours without him inside you.

The wait was painful as teasing words and touches were left on each other throughout the night. The longer it went on, the longer you became impatient and in desperate need for him, but you would have to suck it up for a while longer. The wait finally paid off when the last people to leave were his parents. A final hug and goodbye to James from them, and then he was all yours for the remainder of the night.

As soon as he closed the door on them, he spun around to be met with your presence a few inches away from him. In a flash, he had you wrap your legs around his waist as his lips moved hurriedly and messily against yours. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling and patting to keep him on your lips as long as possible.

The journey to the bedroom was a clumsy and messy one as you bumped into everything on your way. Stuff from shelves and the wall falling, but none of you cared. The clumsiness of it had both of you giggle out.

Your back came in contact with the mattress as Bucky set you down. His eyes admiring your form. Your dress was hiked up just a little, exposing your thighs to him that he loved to spend hours upon hours between. The sight of you had him inhale deep through his nose.

“You're so beautiful.”

He was quick to help in getting rid of your clothing as you did with him as well. Now just in your underwear, his lips returned to yours in desperation to feel them again. They moved downwards, your neck, breasts, stomach, and thigh, to worship all of you. As good as it felt and as much as you wanted him to continue with his journey to the final destination, you just wanted him right here, right now, Skip the overdrawn foreplay; even though you loved it to the fullest, you could do all of that later for all eternity. To explore each other and bring pleasure to one another with your mouths and fingers. But right now, you just needed his lips on yours as his hard length was driving itself in and out of you like only he knew how to.

“Bucky,” you grabbed the side of his head to lift his eyes towards yours, “as much as I want that, I need you even more inside me, baby, please.”

Your wish was his command. His lips traveled up the same way they had come down. He got rid of the last article of clothing from both of you. His length lined itself up with you, teasing your entrance, making you whimper out in complete neediness.

“Please, Bucky, I need you so bad.”

His forehead touched yours as your mouths were millimeters apart. Your hands holding his back to keep him flush with you, chest against chest.

“Do you remember that you wrote to be about wanting a baby?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still mean it? Do you want a baby?”

“I do, James. Please, I want a child with you so much.”

That was his cue to push the entirety of him into your tightness. He would give you a baby, as many as you want. The gasp you emitted when he filled you up spread out in the room.

He rocked your bodies against the covers as his dick continuously brushed your g-spot, which had you moan and whimper in pleasure. His own sounds escaped him when he felt you squeeze him a tad tighter. Lips lightly touched one another as your mouths were parted to let out pleasing sounds fill the whole room. You wrapped your legs around his middle part to force him more in you. You never wanted him ever to stop with his moves.

His lips moved down to your neck to kiss, lick and suck on your sensitive skin. A single tear ran down your cheeks, tears of happiness and fulfillment in having Bucky here with you and inside where he belonged.

Once he caught a glimpse of tears, he stopped his movements immediately, thinking that he did something wrong or something that hurt you.

“What is it, doll? Did I do something wrong? Do you want me to stop? Am I hurting you?”

“No!” You grabbed the side of his face and pulled him to you until your noses touched. “Nothing's wrong. I've just missed you so much, and it feels so good. Please don't stop, James; it feels so good.”

“I won't ever stop,” his movements gained momentum again as his hips slapped against you, “I'll never stop loving and making you feel so good, princess.”

You and he were close and connected in all the ways physically possible. It felt like cloud nine, and you never wanted ever to leave this moment.

His thrusts became more raged, more sloppy, which was an indication that he would finish inside you very soon. His lips left kisses everywhere. On your face, neck, and just about everywhere, his lips could reach. His thrusts, his lips, and the feel of him holding you so close had your back arch, and your eyelashes fluttered shut in total ecstasy.

“Are you close, doll?”

“Y-yes.”

“Let go for me. Let me feel you.”

You and he came together as you held each other close. His seed filled you up fully as your walls milked him for all he was worth; hopefully, a baby would come out of this. Moans of names and pleas filled the space as you rode out the high together.

After calming down for a while and getting your heart and breath under control, he pulled you to his side. Both of you kissing and caressing the skin of the other as you laid there in the bliss of the moment.

It was good to have your husband home again. To have him safe and sound in your arms where he belonged and what he called his home. He couldn't stop kissing you. Your lips were like a sweet drug for him that he would forever be addicted to.

“I love you, doll, so much.”

“I love you too, James, so much.”

The rest of the night was spent making love over and over again. The two of you had a lot of lost time to catch up on, so the comfort of your four-bedroom walls would be your home for the next few days as you caught up with one another. Talking, fucking, sleeping, comforting him after nightmares of the terrible and gruesome war was on the plan. Laughs, love, and kisses would be felt all around as well, as you kept yourselves in your safe little bubble.

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differentkettleoffishalltogether · 4 years

Text

I’m On Fire [Chapter 2]

With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

Chapter Summary: Y/N and Spencer start to put a plan together.

A/N: I’ve got a head cold at the mo’ but I had to get a covid test just in case so I’m not allowed leave my room till I get the results! So enjoy a bonus chapter while I wallow on my own for like 36 hours :( On a positive note, thank you guys all so much for the response to chapter 1 I really didn’t see that coming! I’ve tagged everyone who asked, let me know if you wanna be added

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: Cursing, some NSFW language/themes

Word Count: 6.1k

Previous Chapter -- Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

"Are you coming up or what?"

The question was still ringing in my ears. It caught me completely off guard. 'Up' as in up to Spencer's apartment? Where he lived? I knew he lived somewhere in theory, just like I knew deep down that he wasn't made in a test tube.

Without noticing I've undone my seatbelt and I'm hopping out of the car, following him around to the front door. I guess I am coming up.

Spencer's apartment is more cosy than I thought it was going to be. It's warm and lived in. It's not big, but I think that might be what makes it homely. Something about the way he behaves had me thinking it would be fully decked out in stainless steel or glass or something. But it wasn't pristine, it was messy.

There were books bursting from the shelves that lined the walls of the apartment, along with books laid open over nearly every surface in the place, it looked like he was in the middle of reading all of them, and honestly, I didn't doubt it. Maybe I'd misjudged him. He even had some photos of what looked like his family, and maybe friends, even some of the BAU, lining his walls or propped up on his mantle. He had little trinkets and souvenirs on his shelves too, evidence that he'd been around the country for reasons other than a case. I would never admit it to him but there was a real charm to the place.

Once we got inside he took off his bag and suit jacket, tossing them on the desk just inside of the door. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, and he seemed to pick up on my awkward energy.

"You can make yourself at home" he said, his confident streak remaining. I had no idea what to do with that. What would even make me comfortable in Spencer Reid's apartment? I took a seat on his sofa and just sat with my hands resting in my lap. Really not even sure where I should look without feeling like I was invading his privacy. Even though I wanted to. I think it was morbid curiosity, looking for clues on who this man might actually be outside of the BAU. What I really wanted to do was stand up and walk around, soaking in every bit if this place as if it would help me decipher our messy relationship.

He returned to the living room a few moments later, two mismatched mugs in his hands. He places one in front of me on the coffee table. I pick it up and take a sip. It's lemon and ginger, how did he know what kind of tea I liked? I held the mug in my hands inhaling the steam in an effort to relax. When I look up he's watching me, arms folded across his chest.

"So, how does this thing work. What's the game plan?" I honestly have no real idea. This evening really got away from me, I was still expecting to snap out of it and wake up in my bed at any moment.

"Well I can't say I've ever been in a Sandra Bullock movie before either so this is uncharted territory for me too" I say with a chuckle, trying to ease the tension. Even a little. I can see him crack a small smile but hides it almost instantly, his face hardening again.

"My sister, Margot, she's getting married in like 4 months." I can feel myself tense and I shake out my shoulders, I have to remind myself that he's agreed to this already, "Fuck it, I'm just going to be honest with you. My Mom's mostly freaked out that I'm too attached to this job and that I'll just never find someone again." I shouldn't have said again, fuck. I hope he didn't pick up on that. Who am I kidding. "Even though, I'm not sure I care if I do or don't?" he doesn't say anything, like he's waiting for me to continue. I know I've shared a little too much already but I keep going.

"Margot's 2 years younger than me, I introduced her to her fiancé Philip, we met in college, he's a sweetheart. But since they've gotten engaged Mom's gotten exponentially weirder. I think she's convinced I'm fully going to die alone, as if that would be the worst thing that could ever happen? Anyway, she's been trying to auction me off to all these guys, using this wedding as an excuse. I'm not sure how much of that phone call you actually heard earlier but Mom was trying to sell me on this guy, David, and I just… snapped." I look up at Spencer and he unfolds his arms, leaning in ever so slightly coaxing the story out of me.

"David, he uh, he worked for my father for a while back in high school, filing documents and stuff, busy work mostly. He used to make out with me when he was at our house after school, but then he'd ignore me in the halls the next morning. I know it's because I was a pariah back then or something but I didn't want to think about it today and I just got worked up. I shouldn't have let on that you were my date, I was just going to ask if I could bring Garcia or something, and I'm sorry." I cover my face in my hands, "I'm insane, you can back out if you want to."

I can hear him move from his spot on the opposite side of the sofa, he takes my wrists and gently pulls my hands from my face. He looks into my eyes, "I'm in this now Y/N, what do you need me to do?" he asks, and there's a genuine earnest in his voice that I think I've only ever heard a handful of times. And it's never been directed at me.

"Okay, well we've got a few months before you ha–, wait, fuck!" I throw my head back, there's already a complication, "shit" I curse under my breath. His eyebrows knit together, sitting upright.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I forgot about my Mom's 50th, it's next month. They've got this whole huge party planned back home in upstate New York. I've gotta go and they'll probably want to meet you, or they're gonna have a load of questions for me at least. I can try and get you out of it I'm sure"

He gets that cocky look again, he shakes his head "I don't know, I've always liked a bit of competition" he reclines back into his corner of the sofa, taking a satisfied sip from his own mug before speaking again. "You know, if I've got to learn enough to pass as your boyfriend in a month, surely that means you've got to learn enough to pass as my girlfriend within the month, no?"

Oh god. What have I done, why didn't I think this far ahead. "I mean, yeah I guess you're right." I had to remember he was doing me a favor. I had to get over myself. "Okay, if you're sure you're up for that?" I ask, and he nods, and I think he looks excited, or maybe he just finds the whole situation funny.

"If anyone's up for the competition it's you" he says, and I'm not sure if that's a compliment or a dig but I nod in agreement.

He takes another sip of his tea, collected and relaxed. I can't help but notice how at ease he is when he's in his own surroundings. I'm so used to seeing him sitting at a desk surrounded by paperwork, or combing through file after file in the make-shift office in a small-town police station, usually flustered or anxious, or antagonizing me whenever he wasn’t. This was a different Spencer. Completely in control, at ease.

"Alright, shall we get started then, we can't really afford to waste any time can we?" he was actually sort of right, so I nodded. It was only now occurring to me that I'd have to share parts of my personal life with him if I wanted this plan to work. We already knew the basics about each other, I'd read his file when I started at the BAU, I'd read everyones. And I feel like it was safe to presume he'd done the same.

His eyes bore directly into mine as he leaned forward, I think he was enjoying how uncomfortable I must've looked.

"How about I ask you some rapid-fire questions and you have to answer 'em?" he asks, and it's as good of a plan as any, and I can't think of any other suggestions, so I nod.

"Okay, shoot." I say, unsure and nervous, so I brace myself. I'm just grateful that he's making my life easier rather than harder for what feels like the first time since I met him.

I really should've known better.

He leans in, "So Y/N, first question, when did you lose your virginity?"

I almost choke on the mouthful of tea I just took, that can't be what he just asked, and he looks like he's savoring my shocked expression.

"I uh, I don't think you need to know that?" is all I can get out.

"Really? You think that's something your boyfriend wouldn't know about you?" he's right, but I didn't want to admit it outright.

"I feel like I sort of already hinted. It was that same guy David, I was 18, he was 19. We had sex on the couch while my parents went out one evening. I kept my bra on the whole time, he came, I didn't. It was all very standard stuff." I wasn't sure what compelled me to add that last part. I think I was giving in to the open honestly thing. "So what about you Doc?" I challenged.

He didn't seem embarrassed, or even shy. "I must've bloomed little later than you" he admits with a soft chuckle, "Vivian Stewart, I was 21, she was too. It was the last semester of my last PhD and I figured I must be missing out on something. And I sure was" he smirks to himself. "I came, she did too, 3 times. I did a lot of research ahead of time" he mirrored my story and I rolled my eyes. It was hard not to feel a little impressed but I tried with everything I had to stifle it so he couldn't tell. I wish it didn't make me feel something but it did. I gulp down the mouthful of tea that's been sitting in my throat.

I have to shake myself back to reality. I can't give him the satisfaction of throwing me. "My turn." I command, "When was your last relationship Dr. Reid?" I ask, "I mean like, serious one, not like hook-up" I clarify before he can ask. He thinks on it for a moment.

"I'm not sure what you classify as fully serious, but I guess it was this girl, Rebecca, we dated for a while when I first joined the BAU but it didn't work out. What about you?" he flips it back.

"So that was what, like 6-ish years ago?" I ask, he just nods.

"Mine was like 3 years ago now I think. I met this guy Nathan on my first week of college, we dated for like 4 years. He moved here for me when I got accepted by the BAU." I had to stop myself from delving into the detail. It was a long time ago now but it still hurt. "Long story short, the hours were demanding and they got in the way more than I would've liked. We ended up splitting a couple months after I got the job." I tried to play it off like it wasn't one of the more devastating things to happen in my life. But something told me he’d registered that, so he didn't push.

His energy picks up and he looks at me with a grin, but there's something a little sinister behind it. "I've got a more fun question for you." he leans in closer to me, "Y/N, when was the last time you got laid?" I just looked at him in shock.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I can go first if you really need me to?" his voice didn't waver,

"Fuck you Reid, I know when it was!" I snapped back at him. I did have to think back a little farther than I'd like to pull up the memory.

"Met this guy in a bar when I was out with Pen one night, we went back to his place and hooked up." I say as deadpan as I can make it.

"Well that's not very exciting is it?" he jokes, "Did you at least cum that time?" I know he's just trying to rile me up, but I answer anyway.

"As a matter of fact I did" I earn back a little of my confidence.

"I'm so happy for you, but you did manage to avoid my initial question" fuck "when was this exciting night of yours Y/N?" he probes, like I really, really wished he wouldn't. I could lie, but I'm sure he'd be able to tell. I cringe before I can say it.

"About 8 months ago" I mutter, just low enough for him to hear.

"Sorry, did you just say 8 months ago?" He nearly shouts in disbelief, he seems to find it funny.

"Hey fuck you Spencer!" I go on the defensive, "When was the last time you even got laid?"

"Like two and half weeks ago" he says, confident, and still laughing, "Wait wait, when was the last time you got yourself off? I know you're not waiting 8 months!" he giggles and I think I could kill him. I know I kept giving him outs but was it too late for me to just get up and leave?

"I'm not doing this with you if you're just gonna make fun of me Reid, I get enough of that at work" I get out, my voice is serious but I'm trying to hide how awkward all of this is making me feel, and I don't know that I'm doing a very good job.

I can tell that's gotten to him, he relaxes and eases up on the giggling. "Look okay wait Y/N. I'll stop, I'm not actually trying to make fun of you. I was being serious, I think stuff like this is important if we're gonna have to be comfortable around each other enough to seem like a real couple. Plus, it'll just help break the ice?" he shrugs. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

I soften, because I agree, even thought I hate that he's right. "Fine" I collect my thoughts, "2 nights ago I'm pretty sure." I regret it almost instantly, but breaking the ice is supposed to feel awkward.

"Same here actually," he chuckles, "what'd you do?" I'm so startled by the question I almost forget how to answer.

"I, uh, my, my vibrator? I just felt like uh, I watched some..." I still can't force out a whole sentence. It's not like I was always awkward about sex or anything, I could talk to Garcia, or honestly probably any of the other team members about it. But with Spencer it didn't feel as comfortable. He still sat calmly, smiling just a little.

"Same here, 2 nights back, but with my hands I guess. I wonder if we were doing it at the same time?" he mutters the last part gently and my head goes a bit fuzzy. My eyes drift away from his face and settle on his hands, the mug he's holding looks so tiny with his fingers wrapped around it, I wondered how they'd look wrapped around my-

"Okay I think that's enough for one night, don't you think?" I jump up off the sofa and turn, mostly so that he doesn't catch the blush thats creeping from my neck up to my cheeks. And because I don't know what I'll say, or regret saying, if this conversations continues on its current trajectory.

"Sure," he says, standing up next to me, and I want to move further away instantly, "you're probably right, and it's getting a little late now anyway" he glances at his watch. Ushering me back towards his front door and opening it up. Before I can walk out he lightly touches my shoulder to turn me back to face him, and I wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from every part of me.

"So are you free next Friday after work?" he asks, and I'm so flustered I almost forget why, I just nod. "Perfect, how about we come here again and we can dive into preparing? You could also make a start on getting these onto a hard drive?" he gestures to the antique looking hardbacks adorning the shelves.

'Sounds great!" I perk up, feigning enthusiasm, "See you then!"

"Well, see you Monday morning actually Y/N" he smirks as I walk out the door. Fuck, he was right.

I really hadn't thought this through.

——

The weekend was a bit of a blur. I decided to try and put some useful information into a document for Spencer. It felt strange to try and condense my life into as few pages as possible. I knew Reid had an eidetic memory, and nothing would necessarily overwhelm him. But I also knew that he was someone that the team relied on to fill in a lot of the gaps in the rest of the our knowledge. So I felt bad about dumping a load of information on him, especially considering it was a favor he was doing for me.

I'd complied the majority of my life into a 15 page document and printed it out. Hopefully that would address most of what my family could guerrilla attack him with. There was also something unsettling about the imbalance. I was going to give him so many of the intricate details of my life in a little file, whereas all I really knew about Spencer was what I'd taken it upon myself to learn about him throughout the past few years.

I'd read all of his work while I was in college, given how he was the gold standard of getting into the BAU at a young age, I wanted to know who this guy was. I think I'd pictured something different. And I couldn't deny there was something enticing about finally getting to know him after all of these years of working together. Maybe this could actually be fun, or interesting at least.

----

I arrived early on Monday morning. I thought I was first into the office as usual but Garcia was sitting in my desk chair waiting for me. The second she saw me walk in she tensed, she must've known we were the only people in this early.

"What happened! You've been avoiding me all weekend?" she asked, and she was right. I'd drafted enough texts to her, trying to explain what the plan was, mostly without wanting to admit that she was right. Maybe I was stubborn.

"Alright okay, I drove Reid home." I admitted, dropping my bag by my desk. She rolls her eyes at me, dramatic as always.

"Well I knew that already Y/N damn! What happened next?"

"Fine, we went into his apartment and talked for a while. Trying to sort out the details, get a handle on things I guess?" I said, unsure of how much I should actually give away about our conversation.

"What things!?" She shouts, standing up from my desk,

"I don't know Pen, like logistics and stuff, I still haven't decided how I feel about that little stunt you pulled on Friday night!" I let my frustration get the better of me, and maybe that's why I haven't talked to her. It could also be because I know she's able to read me like a book and I'm not even sure how I feel about this whole situation.

"I call bullshit." She counters, "I know you were relived as hell when I sorted that whole thing out. You would've had anxiety tummy all weekend if I hadn't called Spencer!" I just go silent, she was right. I'd gotten so caught up in the whole, 'how to have a fake boyfriend' that I'd almost forgotten about how stressed I was about Spencer hearing my call in the first place.

"Okay, shit" I sigh. "Maybe you were right Pen. We're actually meeting up again this Friday after work to make a plan for the next while, so I guess that's progress?" I shrug, trying to play it off like this whole situation doesn't make my stomach flip.

"Ohhhhh! So like a date?" She probes, her enthusiasm rising drastically.

"Oh my God Pen no! Like an appointment at best" I diffuse the situation

"Ugh that's no fun" she says, not even trying to disguise her disappointment.

As if on cue Dr. Reid walks through the double doors into the bullpen. Both Garcia and I wave, overall awkwardly, but making an attempt pretend like things were completely normal and like nothing had changed since the last time we were all in the office together.

Penelope heads to her office as the bullpen starts to fill up quickly. Less than an hour later though Garcia's back at my desk and there's a new case that needs the teams attention in Boston. I follow her into the conference room and wait for the rest of the team to join. Spencer follows a moment later with 2 cups of coffee in his hands. I can see my mug in his hand and my automatic response is that he's messing with me. But he places my mug in front of me in the circular table before taking the seat next to me, listening to Garcia's briefing. I don't know if he's ever sat next to me in this conference room, at least not by choice.

I barely had any time to finish my coffee before I have to say goodbye to Garcia and hop on the jet to Boston.

----

The case was grueling. More so than usual. It was wrapped up late on Thursday night and the team decided to fly back home first thing on Friday morning. I was exhausted. Even if there was enough time to get sleep each night it wasn't like I got any. Whenever a case got on top of me like this it made it hard to rest, or get it off my mind at all until it was wrapped up. So even though it was over, that didn't mean I wasn't exhausted.

Hotch gave the team the rest of the day off, given that we have until submit our paperwork by Monday. I wasn't sure if Spencer's invitation from the following week still stood. I didn't want to ask, partly because I was so tired, but also because I was scared. I wasn't about to show up at his house in an effort to have a heart to heart, or hand him a condensed version of my life story on a manilla envelope if he was as drained as I was.

Standing by my desk I packed up everything I'd need to get my paperwork done over the weekend, I was just about finished when Spencer snuck up behind me, perching himself on the edge of my desk. "So, you almost ready to go?" he asks, like it's the most obvious question in the world. I couldn't really hide my surprise.

"Oh yeah. That's fine, I mean, if you're still cool with that?" I ask, and I hate how flustered I sound, like he makes me nervous.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He chuckles, standing up straight.

"Cool, gimme a sec and I'll be good to go."

I pack up the rest of my stuff quickly and we make our way out. There's something that feels a little eerie about the two of us being in an elevator together alone again. It was a different kind of awkward to how it felt a week before hand. It almost felt like a kind of tension rather than a hatred or a rivalry. Either way we rode down in silence.

Once we got to the basement Spencer walks out of the elevator and walks straight to my car without having to ask. I unlock it and he hops into the passenger seat. Like this is a natural interaction. Something we do all the time. And I don't hate it as much as I thought I would.

"So," he says, buckling up his seat belt and breaking the silence, "do you know how to get to my place from here or do you need directions again?"

"Well I've got to turn on the engine first" I tease, hoping he picks up on the reference to our last car ride, he chuckles like he does.

"Are you hungry?" he asks

"Starving."

The delivery guy get's to Spencer's apartment at almost the same time we do.

---

Once the food's been demolished the two of us finally sit on his sofa, the same sides as the week before. "So, shall we get back into this?" He asks, sitting forward slightly to pull a notebook out of his satchel on the floor. It's small and lavender, and it's got a pen clipped into the spine. He cracks it open and flips to a specific page.

"Sorry, what's that?" I ask, pointing to the book, he looks confused,

"They're my notes?" he says, like it should be obvious

"Your notes?" I ask,

"My notes on you." he smirks, again like I'm silly for even asking.

He had notes on me? He had a whole notebook on me? What was even in that thing?

"You've got notes on me?" I ask, my hands reaching out to grab it, but he retreats faster than I can catch him. "What have you got in there that's so serious?"

"Nothing." and his tone's a bit too stern and I don't really want to push it when he's being so uncharacteristically nice to me.

"I've actually got this ready for you" I pull the file out of my own bag and toss it to him. "I'm not sure exactly what you need to know but that should be the majority of it at least."

He opens it up and glances over the the pages. It takes him all of 2 minutes to get through the whole thing. It feels unsettling that he's taking in a boiled down version of my life while I'm just sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Trying to avoid the attention I pipe up.

"Um, hey, maybe it would be a good time for you to show me where to make a start digitizing your books over here?" I stand up and make my way to the shelf. He jumps up off the sofa and walks toward me, visibly excited.

"That's actually a great idea, I thought that the theses from my degrees could be a good place to start, since I'm pretty sure they're not backed up anywhere." he guides me to a section of the book case by the window. There's a series of leather bound hardbacks, the same gold font embossed on the spines. I recognize all of them, pulling out the first one.

"This is my favorite" I say without thinking about it and he does a double take, clearly thrown.

"You've, uh, you read my work?" he asks, completely puzzled. I'm sort of proud that I've managed to make him this awkward, and I nod.

"Mmhm, back before I joined the BAU actually. Before I really knew you" I regret saying the last part, it comes out a little meaner than I really wanted it to so I back track. "Spencer, I read all of your work while I was in college, you were like the gold standard. I don't think I slept more than 2 hours a night throughout my PHD because I was just trying to get as much done as you." and his face softens at the admission. But it takes him a moment before he responds. Leaving the two of us in silence a little too long.

"I had no idea" is all he says.

"I think this one was best" I say propping up the one in my hand, "you get a bit cockier as you move on” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "but I'll start with all of these I guess" I grab the matching books and stack them in my arms. Walking over to his desk and setting up. Glancing at the clock it was only 7pm so I decided to just make a start.

Spencer didn't contest. Letting me just get settled at his desk, I pull out my laptop and begin work on transcribing the first volume. After a few minutes he silently places a cup of tea down beside me and goes to sit on the sofa. The time rolls in quickly after that, each time I look up at Spencer he's carefully combing through the file I'd given him. Re-reading it and making little markings in his lavender notebook. I'm not really sure what I put in there that was worth making a note on but clearly he was reading between the lines on some things. That little notebook was like a profile of me.

When he seemed like he'd finished writing he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it aimlessly like I'd never seen him do before. It made him look so normal. His eyebrows knit together as he's looking at something on his screen and he stands up. Making his way over to me at the desk and shows me what he was looking at.

"Who's this?" he asks, "This guy you're with?"

I recognize the photo instantly. It's from a few years earlier, Nathan and I on the beach, my head resting on his chest. He'd taken it while we were on vacation celebrating our anniversary. That was about a month before I got into the BAU, I had no idea that was going to be our last anniversary. I gulp down the emotions that it stirs. I'm mostly over the whole thing by now, but looking at old photos like that, photos of happier times, it can still sting.

"That's uh, the boyfriend I was telling you about last week. Nathan, we broke up not long after I joined the BAU?" he nods, but he's smart, and I kind of figure he already knew that.

"Ah alright" he takes out the hardback and jots another note down. Maybe he's trying to get a read on me.

"What are you doing?" I gesture to the phone,

"It's research, do you not think that if you and I were really dating that stalking your social media profiles would be on my agenda?" he's smug, and he's right. But I guess I just didn't expect it from him.

"Well that's not really fair now is it? I can't reciprocate, you've got no social media presence whatsoever!" he finds that funny, letting out a deep chuckle and tucking his phone away in his back pocket.

"Maybe so, but that imbalance is hardly my fault. Besides, you've read all my dissertations apparently..."

"Bastard" I joke, slamming my laptop shut and throwing a pen from his desk at him so that it lightly bounces off the top of his head.

"Hey, there's no need for violence Y/N!" he rubs the spot beneath his curls, "Maybe it's time you took a break actually?" he says, sitting himself back down on the sofa.

I was reluctant to admit it but he was right. My eyes were starting to go a little fuzzy after looking at the screen for so long. I stand up and stretch my arms out above my head, feeling my spine stretch out after sitting for so long, letting out a low groan. Spencer waves me over to the sofa and I join him.

"How about we go back to basics?" Spencer asks with a small grin, and I can't help but let out a long sigh.

"I thought I was taking a break, no more questions" he just laughs at me,

"Relax, you're not that interesting, it's just a simple question." he states, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it funny or offensive

"Ugh, fine, shoot"

"Well, actually it's two questions" he corrects, "what's your favorite movie, and what's your favorite snack?"

I'm confused mostly by the fact that it actually is a simple question, I was expecting something a lot more contentious, but also because he looks eager to know the answer.

"I'm not really sure what my favorite movie is to be honest, one of them is Night of the Living Dead?"

He nods to himself, and jots it down in the notebook again, "Alright, I can make that work" he stands up off the sofa before turning back to me, "and snack?"

"Peanut butter cups I guess?" I respond and he grins ear to ear, which is a completely new sight, and I like it way more than I thought I would.

"Perfect, gimme 2 minutes!" he leaves the living room and wanders towards the kitchen.

Spencer returns a few minutes later with a DVD, a packet of peanut butter cups , and a thick knitted blanket gathered in his arms. He drapes the blanket over me and gently places the peanut butter cups on top of it before popping the DVD into the player and sitting down beside me. I'm not really sure how to process any of the situation. Am I about to watch a movie on Spencer Reid's sofa? Sitting next to Spencer Reid?

"I... I, uh, thought you were just asking for your notes?" I ask, pointing at the notebook resting in his lap. He picks it up and throws it onto the coffee table.

"Sometimes I find experience is the best teacher, don't you?" he asks before pressing play, “And besides, it should keep you quiet for a whole 96 minutes” of course.

I can only nod in agreement, I'm not really sure what I'll say if I try to speak. I get myself cosy under the warm blanket and we watch the movie in near silence.

Once the credits roll Spencer finally speaks up, "I actually went to see a screening of this last month downtown, there was this little old horror movie fest-" I cut him off without really realizing, I'm just strangely excited that we've genuinely got something in common.

"Holy shit, I was there!" I say, more enthusiastic than the situation calls for.

He laughs at my excitement, "Well, I guess we have more overlap than I thought, that should probably help with the whole charade." he stretches his arms up over his head and let's out a small, gentle yawn. I'd been enjoying myself more than I thought I would, or would ever tell Spencer, that I'd almost forgotten that we'd both been on a case for almost every waking moment of the past week. I really should feel a lot more drained than I do.

I was just after midnight when I suggested that I head back home. I offered to take some of the books home to work on throughout the weekend but Spencer insisted that I just work on them whenever I came over again. I sort of felt like I should thank him for the evening when I was on my way out the door, or give him a quick hug, no that felt wrong. In the end all I could really muster was a lousy, "goodnight" and a meek wave on my way out the door before I drove home. And couldn't get to sleep.

— —

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najatheangel · 3 years

Text

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞

pairing: Lee donghyuck x reader (ft. nct members)

genre: fluff, angst, comedy and spice.

inspired song: Bestie by Lloyd.

summary: donghyuck’s and his s/o memories as best friends leading up to becoming lovers. (btw this one’s a little longer than the ones i usually write so beware loves.)

Haechan’s POV: June, 24th, 2018. “Today’s the day where I finally tell her how I feel. After 7 years of my friendship, growing up together and holding back my feelings for so long, Today is the day where things change. I’m tired of being stuck in the friend zone this is my one and only chance before she moves away. Now or Never Hyuck...”

“She's a bad one not a fast one. Every time we get together we have fun”

Growing up, me and y/n always were always bound to be apart of each other’s lives. We’ve grew up in the same neighborhood, our parents met each other in school, our friends are dating each other and we even go to the same school together. Sounds very corny right? It’s true though.

Our thing was always playing horror games together every night after we finish doing homework together. She was always the procrastinator so I had to give her some motivation. Not only that, we always play around the swing sets in the park that’s right in front of our houses to talk about anything and everything that was going on in our life’s.

This one time she got so drunk after Mark’s birthday party and was trying to swing so high and flew off the swing set thinking she was super man. Heh, she can be such a idiot at times. She may be one of the goofiest, bubbly and sweetest people I know. She can also be caring, overprotective and keep me calm whenever I’m always acting crazy.

I don’t remember what exact moment I feel in love with you, but I do remember feeling like as time went by, my love for you stared to grow much stronger. Everyone around us was starting to suspect how we felt about it each other especially my mom she adored you so much and loved the idea of us being together.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

Once we’ve started getting much older I've tried dating other girls but none of them just didn’t compare to you. I’ve tried to joke around with them, they wouldn’t take me seriously. When I try to ask them out on dates, they would ditch me for someone else. When I try to be affectionate, they reject and always want to stay friends. I normally had luck keeping girls around, but only for a short amount of time. It seemed like every week I had a new girlfriend.

I knew y/n was always frustrated at me trying to tell me there’s other fish in the sea, but hell I want to my little mermaid and that’s y/n-ie. I even teased her about it, but she didn’t seem to take a hint.

“You know y/n... we should honestly just date. We would be the next Hyuna and Edawn in the school. They would have nothing on us.” I even nudged her on the shoulder to get her smiling.

“Hmm? Are you insane that would be too weird. We’re like brother and sister.” I could tell she was flustered, but she wasn’t exactly to thrilled with the idea. “Plus you know how I feel about Mark already. I’ve got to really wow him at this game tonight.” Oh yeah I forgot to mention she had a crush on my other best friend Mark Lee at the time.

“I know she should just be my friend Yet I'm hoping, I'm hoping that maybe it will lead In love happy end.”

It would work my nerves every time she would talk about him and always would ask advice on what to do, but I was very hopeful and believed I still had to chance to win her heart. I gush to everyone including the boys everyday about how madly in love I was with y/n without even realizing.

I would tell everyone, well except her of course. Johnny almost told my secret to everyone at Jaehyun’s house party when we were all playing strip uno. It was shut down real quickly because Doyoung gave him a long hard talk after awhile.

That night was also the worst for me because that was the same days the homecoming game where you confessed your feelings to Mark and became officially a couple. In my mind I wanted to be happy for the two of you as I watched you two kissed each other in front of everyone.

After that day, I avoided you for a while and couldn’t accept the fact that I couldn’t have you at that very moment. I couldn’t spend more time with you, hold you, kiss you, brag to everyone how much I loved you.

Although I was torn and felt defeated when you started dating Mark, I still felt a tiny bit of hope that someday I would still have a chance to make you mine and have our happy ending.

Y/N POV: June 24th, 2018. The day that I say farewell to my best friend Lee Donghyuck before going leaving to go to Harvard. I can’t believe this day has finally come we haven’t had the chance to hang out throughout our entire senior year so I want to make this count. I also want to tell him how I’ve felt about him. Let’s see where do I even start....

“We were children when we met. Just playing house and drinking sodas at the corner store.”

I remember having a hard time making friends my family moves from city to city because of my dad career as a entrepreneur for multiple companies and my mom working as a travel nurse. I was bullied for my struggling with my weight and for being an outcast which caused a lot of depression for me.

One day I remember running away from these girls in my school because they were trying to throwing apples at me. It was they’re way of trying to help me “eat healthy.” Jokes on them I was the top runner in the track team hehe.

Anyways, I lost them for a good second until I was trapped surrounded by them at the market by my house. I almost felt at lost against the 4 girls, until this crazy guy Lee Donghyuck comes out of no where scaring them away with his Freddy Kruger mask threatening them to leave me alone or he’ll haunt them in their sleep.

I felt bad for laughing, but it was one of the most nicest thing anyone has ever done for me ever since I’ve moved to Korea. He randomly introduces himself to me and offers me to play with him for an exchange of saving my life from those bullies.

“Hey my name is Donghyuck. Those girls always find their next target to pick on, but no worries princess I’m here to protect you. Let me introduce you to my other friends.”

He reached his hand on to me and ever since I was always dragged on to his crazy adventures.

“Like a brother from another. Didn't notice all the other girls they wanted more.”

Donghyuck was pretty popular when it came to having lots of guy friends and dating even when we were kids. In 5th grade on Valentine’s I remembered his desk being flooded with chocolates and anonymous love letters stuffed in backpack.

The idea didn’t bother me at first because I saw Hyuck as my older protective brother. I even slid some letters in my self saying “Happy Valentine’s Day loser. Enjoy those kits kats!” We tend to tease each other a lot, but that’s how we showed our love to each other.

People in our class including the boys Jaemin, Chenle and Yang Yang were encouraging us to date, but we just never seemed thrilled with the idea.

“Awhh c’mon you guys would be so cute together. You guys have kissed once before anyways it’s a sign.” I remember the boys would always poke fun at us, but we both would scream.

“Ew no way! Plus that kiss didn’t count it was for a school play.”

Yet every time a guy would try to ask me out, Donghyuck would scare them away because he claims that I’m still too young to date. Smh, yeah I should’ve known that it was actually because you were jealous.

“But now look at the glow up. You're the finest thing I ever seen, but you never been more than a friend to me.”

As much as I hate to admit it, but god sometimes Donghyuck can be hot...sexy...hell good looking when he wants to be. It doesn’t help that he’s teasing me about it either.

There was this one time when we were playing Mario Karts in his room and it was on a hot summer day at the time. This guy had the nerve to take his shirt off in front of me with sweat dripping on his abs, hair slightly messy to the side, and leans back with his grey sweat pants on.

GREY SWEATS!! Like cmon. I could barely concentrate on the game after awhile admiring how painly handsome. I felt very guilty because I was still dating Mark at the time, but my mind was going 2 different directions.

“Hey y/n if your hot you can take your shirt off too. I thought my mom had the mechanic fixed the ac by now so sorry about that.” There he goes sticking his tongue out like that again. Does he have no shame.

“Umm, Hyuck I just remembered I have a test on Friday to study for. Tootles!” I knew if I would’ve stayed in his room much longer I would’ve either passed out or sink deep into his tempting body leaning against mine. It was not only the heat in the room that was driving me crazy, but my beating heart that was burning my chest.

Before I tried to leave he shut the door and pushed me against the wall staring deep into my eyes. “You know princess, we don’t have a math test Friday right? I’m in the same class as you.”

This man uggh, next he proceeds to make me look at him in the eye by lifting my chin up. “D-did I say math test, silly me. I meant biology test.” After laughing awkwardly for a while I realized he wasn’t laughing with me like he usually does. It was like the vibe changed in a matter of 5 sec.

“Listen y/n...I know your dating Mark and all, but would it be wrong to just let me hold you one last time.” Yeah it would be awful, especially when your still technically half naked in front of me.

I’ve never even gotten close to kissing Mark before, yet my friend of 6 years is going to do it. So I had to run out of there before things got worse. “I-I can’t do that Hyuck. You know that wouldn’t be right. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“I'm thinking that one day you'll be mine. And I don't wanna lose you.”

I ran home as fast as I can hyperventilating before I let myself caught any feelings. The truth was for awhile I only wanted to date Mark to try to forget about Hyuck, but after that night I’ve started to realize that I can’t escape my feelings that I have for him it’s impossible.

I love him more than anyone in this world. The thought of that saying had me laughing and crying that night.

June 26th, the day Donghyuck will have one last chance to confess his feelings before his princess y/n leaves off to go to school. Y/N and Donghyuck both run out of each other’s house and decided to meet up at the swing set after 6 years.

They both sit down sighing looking up at the orange sunset sky that’s shinning throughout the area. The two of them slowly swing looking down at the ground waiting for the other person to speak up first.

“So...I bet you probably heard the news already huh? I’ve finally got accept to Harvard. So tomorrow I’ll be going back to my hometown to begin my semester in fall.” Donghyuck responds back by saying.

“I know, I heard from my mom. She nearly cried. You know it would’ve been nice to hear from you. I haven’t seen you since last week.” Y/n finally looks up at him with tears falling down her face.

“Hyuck I’ve been going through so much this past week. I’ve broken up with Mark, my brother was stuck in the hospital and I almost had to repeat senior year if I didn’t pass that state test. So I’m sorry I didn’t contact you lately.”

Hyuck quickly stands up and hugs y/n gently by stroking her hair. “It would’ve been nice to hear your voice. I miss you and I love you.”

They both freeze up at the words he just said “Y-you what now?” Hyuck gulps at first, but then he snaps out of it ready to pour his heart out.”

“LISTEN PRINCESS I LOVE YOU OKAY?? Not just as a friend either. This whole year I never got to hang out with you and I don't know how to pretend, I hate falling in love with my best friend. That night you left my room I almost gave up on us, but I knew I had to tell you before you walk out of my life. Talk about bad timing right?”

Y/N starts giggling wiping her tears for a split second but then smiles by saying.

“I love you too Donghyuck. I have for a long time actually I just didn’t want to ruin my one and only specially friendship I had with you. I was even thinking that trying to move on by dating someone else would work, but it didn’t. Without you in my life, I am blue as the sky.”

The two of you of crack up laughing again at your embarrassing thoughts of each other, but immediately stop trying to think of what should happen next.

“We’re truly some idiots. Now we only have a few hours left of being a couple before you leave. So what happens next y/n?”

Y/n sits on Hyuck’s lap hugging him tightly and leans into his face by saying. “No worries we’ll figure this out once I move. For right now let’s just enjoy our last few hours together as a couple.”

Hyuck wraps arms around y/n waist and feels his heart skipping a beat once she starts kissing him softly in his ear. “Princess you know I’m very ticklish right there.” Ignoring his comments y/n proceeds to kiss his ear again, but then starts trailing down to his neck.

“My B-E-S-T, a true friend to me. Give me love and energy, that is what you send to me”

“Mmm keep calling me princess and I promise you I won’t be able to hold back.” He wiggles his eyebrows at your bold response and smirks by saying...

“Well what’s stoping you? We can do it right here right now on these swing sets.” He starts sliding your hands in your thighs while finally kissing you on your lips.

All that built up passion and emotion was easily displayed as you were kissing him. Not to mention the fact that he’s sliding his hand in your jeans which is making it hard for you to keep your voice down.

“Ahh keep it down y/n...Do you want the neighbors to hear you?” He teases you more by moving your hand in his jeans. “Do it for me too.”

“Lee Donghyuck, are you crazy?? Why don’t we just do this in your room. We will get caught for sure.” He pouts for a second and says

“Yes I’m crazy for you. You already know this though. How about this, we can finish this in my room and we can just tell my mom we stayed up playing games again all night long. Deal?”

“Deal!” You give him one last peck on the lips and grab him by running into his house like there’s no tomorrow. “Slow down princess!” The two of you slammed the door in his room and for the whole night you never dared to leave his side for a split second.

“It's what you do to me.”

The morning after ended up becoming very emotional for the both of you, because this is the last the you’ll be seeing each other face to face until the both of you are done with school. While he’s off becoming a singer, you’ll be on your way becoming a lawyer.

Out of all the places you could possibly move away from again your home next to Donghyuck and his family was the hardest to leave from. You made so many memories here and would cherish it for the rest of your life.

Before heading the road you give your best friend and now boyfriend one last hug and kiss on the forehead before putting your last luggage in the trunk and hitting the road to start your journey.

Although your both moving on to different paths of life career wise, you both will always have your history together and promised to reunite as a couple again when the time is right.

Thanks so much for reading this far you guys and feedback would be much appreciated. ✨

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🏷 : @himitsu-luna @starrdustville @xxminmixx @dundun-baby @purplepsycho03 @kpopsnowball

Send an ask if you want to be added or removed from the tag list. 💫💫💫

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hello-there-nice-to-meet-you · 3 years

Text

Natsuki Takaya has presented the relationship of Kyo and Tohru in such a beautiful way. Their relationship proceeded so slowly and efficiently, without any physical intimacy, just them getting to understand eachother.

Both Kyo and Tohru had bottled up emotions before meeting eachother. The time they spent together healed them.

Tohru was someone who accepted Kyo with his true form, even when others considered him as a monster. She didn't give up on him even after facing it, she knew the fact that if no one went after him he would never return and open up. She played a major role in his life by healing him and letting him know that she was there for him and that he deserved to be loved.

And Kyo was the only Sohma who actually comforted her, the person who was always thinking about others. He helped her accept her past, he stood by her side every time she was hopeless, he listened to her without judging, he helped her face her fears and her insecurities, he understood her more than anyone else.

(When Hiro had told Tohru about her always talking about Kyoko(her mom) and when she felt upset about it, Kyo the next day understood it all, he knew what she was hiding everything under her smile even when no one else was able to figure it out.)

Their relationship is honestly so beautiful and pure. They've always supported eachother. Even the roof scenes where they met and shared their sufferings and happiness.

Kyoru scenes having a warm background will always be my favourite aesthetic. It portrays the warmth of their love, their understanding, their affection, their insecurities, their support. They accepted each other with all the weak and the good points, loving it all. 🥺🙌

I say...I want to protect all members of the Zodiac. That I want to set them free...But that's just...a lie I've been telling myself...! I've been hiding from...my true feelings. Hiding from the truth...like a coward...I...I...just...don't want...anyone or anything...not the Sohma Family...or the Curse...to take Kyo-kun away from me! Because Kyo-kun...is the most precious person in my life! ~ Tohru Honda

This was when Tohru accepted the fact she loved Kyo, and that he was the most important person in her life.

SPOILER!!!

That day… when I pulled my beads apart… I watched quietly.. as Tohru picked them all up. It was proof that I was a monster. Even now, I wouldn’t mind if she threw them into a fire. But after a few years.. maybe I’d grow to regret not having picked them up. I honestly thought that at the time. But I still couldn’t move. She picked them up for me. And it was like she was protecting… both the me of now and the me of the future. Or even… something more distant. Something beyond me. Maybe she was trying to pick up the far off feelings.. of all those people who lived with those beads on. Every last one. I don’t really know. I do know one thing. I know.. that “loving” someone.. isn’t just always loving what’s right in front of you. There’s also the past… and the future. Loving someone means embracing it all.

#tohru honda #kyo x tohru #kyoru #kyo sohma #tohru x kyo #fruits basket #fruits basket the final #kyo soma

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buckyjamess-archive · 3 years

Text

𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 ❁ 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼

chapter eighteen • a/n: last chapter folks- wanna thank all those who interacted/read it, I hope you enjoyed it! ♡ gonna miss these fools, ngl • wordcount: 2k • warnings: nothing but fluff. Parenthood. Babies. Kids.

summary

going through rough years after losing your husband, you try to raise your daughter the best you can. With the help from the wilson's you make the best of it but the road is bumpy when sam introduces you to his friend.

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His hands are warmer and maybe even bigger as his fingers are intertwined with yours, gently swaying back and forth, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand or a light squeeze to remind you he's still there.

a few steps ahead, rosie groans, huffs and puffs as she pushes the stroller the best she can. Talking to her little brother who gurgles back just as much.

"You're really heavy!"

a soft pink, round handbag with minnie mouse printed on the front hangs loosely in Steve's other hand. Handed to him seconds after leaving the restaurant by Rosie herself as she offered to push her little brother back home. A heavy diaper bag he'd taken off the stroller to take away some weight, hangs of his shoulder– you told him you could carry one of the two but Steve being Steve, refused your offer and instead clamped his hand in yours.

A day out planned by the man walking next to you. A day with the four of you, letting Rosie and JJ get used to Steve being around for more than the two hours every night before getting tucked in. That Steve wasn't just a friend anymore– though Rosie 'just knew' when you told her Steve was more than a friend, a special friend.

'I don't kiss my friends like that'

Rosie didn't mind, or at least you think. She was good with everyone, stranger or not. Opening up to Steve wasn't a problem, becoming friends with Steve came easy for the girl.

And bucky, bucky would always be dad.

'Now I have three daddies. My real daddy, my normal daddy and steve.'

And though you never intended to let Steve in your life so quickly, it became serious pretty fast.

Delicately glueing back each other's pieces left of a broken heart; giving solace, a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold. Steve and you never intended to become this, you were just friends, used-to-be-coworkers. It happened. Bucky no longer floating through your head every other minute or feeling that ache in your chest– just you and Steve and for now after the heartbreak Bucky caused you could in all honesty say that Steve Rogers treated you better than anyone ever did.

The stroller comes to a halt when Rosie stills in front of the apartment block. She let's go of the stroller and places both hands on her sides, bright yellow sunglasses resting on the bridge of her nose, she sighs heavily.

"That was heavy."

You and Steve chuckle at Rosie her stance as if an old man admiring his self-built furniture, sarcasm dripping from her body yet as innocent as can be.

"I bet it was, kid."

"Yes, JJ eats too much."

"Says the girl who ate all my fries."

Letting go of your hand, Steve hands Rosie back her own bag which she happily takes– slipping the diaper bag from his shoulder, you wrap your hand around it and carefully toss it over your own. Hand digging in to find your keys. Taking the few steps up the building, you push open the door and watch how Steve casually carries the stroller and JJ up the steps and follows Rosie in the building.

The walk to the elevator is short, the three of you and the stroller packed tight in the small space– you stay quiet, watching the interaction between Rosie and Steve, your heart grows ten times its size. You thank the gods above for giving you all these amazing men in your life, even if they broke your heart in different ways- teaching you the ways of life, giving the best things to ever exist, trusting you, caring about you..loving you.

Riley, your first real love. The one that changed your life forever. Teaching the ropes of this crazy thing called adult life. Be the calm to your chaos. Showed you love like you'd never had before– sure enough about it all to put a ring around your finger and giving you the most important job of them all; be a mother to a beautiful, funny and feisty daughter. Riley who gave you real heartbreak, leaving an empty hole in your heart and took a piece of your soul with him

Sam who stood by your side through it all. Going through the process together of losing a spouse and partner on the field. Your shoulder to lean on when things got rough, a friend of your man turned into your best friend– showing you the meaning of family by letting you into his own.

Bucky who stole your heart so fast, you never had a chance to let it settle– a wild man willing to wait. A wild man who showed you that life after Riley could be something beautiful; taught you how to love again, brought you back to life and gave you the gift you call your son, gave Rosie a father figure. Bucky the best mistake you'd ever made in your life.

And maybe all these men were needed to get you with the one. Without Riley no Sam and without Sam no Bucky, and you'd never have met Steve if you didn't move to Brooklyn. All these men lead you to him.

Steve. The man who picked up the pieces and put them back together– the man you so desperately needed in your life. The calm that Riley once gave you and the wild and silly bucky once showed. The one for real this time.

Even if things didn't go your way, men changing every chapter of your book– life was pretty amazing.

Steve must've seen the slight wobble of your chin and your eyes filling with tears. His firm hand back into yours, you look up to meet his blues, you shoot him a tight lipped smile.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

You inhale deeply, quickly wiping away the tears that have made their way down your cheeks and not trusting your own voice, you smile at your daughter but shrug.

"You know what I think?" Steve quips, the hand that's intertwined with yours now snaking around your waist to pull you ever closer into his side "I think mom's just really happy."

Rosie nods unsure but gives a toothy grin "then I'm happy too, then we're all happy."

"Then we're all happy."

He reads you like an open book, something you got to love and hate over the last few weeks. Nitpicking little flaws to get under your skin or be the biggest sap whenever you're feeling down; he knows you like the back of his hand.

"This is so stupid," you breath out a shaky chuckle "Jesus, I'm crying in an elevator–"

"It's not stupid," Steve reassures "we're all just very happy, right?"

"Yeah." You nod.

Squeezing your side, Steve let's you know he's there and plants a kiss to your temple before resting his chin upon your head.

"I love you, sweetheart."

Bucky can't quite believe it himself; just a month ago he labeled Steve Rogers as his arch enemy and wish bad things upon the blonde and now, now bucky hopes and wishes the blonde would treat you better than anyone else– welcomed Steve into the mess.

At ease, okay, alright but above all grateful. You didn't kick him out of your life or that of his kids– you wouldn't be the first mother to do such a thing, he's seen it on TV multiple times. Bucky's grateful that you and him still were a thing just not the same. Parents of your kids, friends.

Though jealousy would strike once in a while and he reminded himself of the mistake he'd made, It was good this way.

Big helium balloons in the shape of letters and numbers float above the table shoved against the wall, reading 'JJ 1 YEAR'. Silver birthday garlands hanging from ceilings along the baby blue and white balloons– table filled with snacks, gifts and drinks. Cramped in your apartment but done together– texting back and forth, nights of planning brought you all here, JJ his first birthday.

Friends and family here to celebrate something the two of you made from love.

Bucky leans against the kitchen bar, one hand tucked deep into the pocket of his jeans and the other wrapped around a bottle of beer. Eyes upon the small crowd gathered and lands on Steve, barely on his knees next to a side table, small plastic tiara on his head as Rosie applies makeup on the guy's face from the set she'd just got as a gift from uncle Sam.

Bucky smiles, at least you picked a child magnet, a guy who'll love his kids as much as the two of you do.

Bucky scans the crowd again and spots you without any problem, another smile on his face at the sight of his godchild hailey holding JJ, probably gossiping around with you.

It's good this way.

"Hey man."

Snapping out of his own world, Bucky meets the eyes of a man he hasn't spoken to in months; sam. Not since he got to learn about Bucky's mistake.

"Hey." Bucky shoots him a tight lipped smile.

Standing still next to Bucky, Sam leans against the bar in the same stance and follows Bucky's gaze to the crowd to you, his son and hailey.

"He looks like you." Sam confesses "scary."

Letting his head fall, Bucky chuckles and nods "at least we know it's mine."

Sam chuckles along till it dies down, silence falling over both men as they keep watching the scene in front of them. How you leave Hailey with her nephew and mingle with some friends– bucky can feel Sam's eyes burning on his face.

"Told you so, didn't I?"

Bucky snorts "Let's not go there, I've learned my lesson."

"Do you?" Sam quips with a grin on his face "No new love on the horizon?"

Bucky nods, he has learned his lesson and he knows he'll never find someone like you again– he has definitely learned his lesson and definitely not ready for something new.

"No man, I'm going to focus on my kids." Bucky breathes out a soft chuckle "apparently I still have two."

"Rosie loves you– I have to thank you for that, giving Rosie a father figure."

"Wouldn't trade it for anything else."

"I know."

Another, comfortable silence falls like a thick blanket. Knowing each other well enough to know what they're thinking– a smile creeping on both men's faces at the sight of you pushing yourself past some people and beelining towards the duo.

"Mind If I join?"

Scooting aside, both Sam and bucky make space for you in between and your arm that snakes around Bucky's back gives him a warm and fuzzy feeling– he pulls you closer into his side with his arm dropped over your shoulder

"A year ago you nearly passed out." You mumble softly

"I didn't pass out." Bucky scoffs

"I said nearly–"

"Not even nearly."

"The nurses had to sit you down."

"They never–"

"They did!"

It's a game of back and forth, getting underneath each other's skin and Bucky hopes things like this will never change even if you decided to spend the rest of your life with steve. The silly arguments, the silly fights and the lame jokes– bucky would be alright as long as that stayed.

The squeeze around his side makes Bucky aware you're still there. Locking eyes with yours, one's he's found himself lost in many times before, he copies your smile.

"What?"

"Nothing– we did good." You state.

Though things didn't go the way it was supposed to, the two of you did good indeed, more than good even.

"I think we did amazing." Bucky smiles back.

Wrapping his arm around your shoulder a bit tighter, he places a quick kiss on your forehead before following your gaze into the crowd, his daughter, his son, his family and steve.

It's good this way.

"So, guys," Sam clears his throat from beside you "really gotta know what happened on hailey her birthday party that day."

"No, you don't." You and Bucky chuckle in unison "you really don't."

Taglist: @farfromshawn @Nicollettemarie @wooya1224 @felicityofbakerstreet @agentmstark @sierrax023 @lilyevanswhore @qhbr2013 @buckybarnesobsessed @themaddies-obx @aloserwithoutacause @aanngie @sebby-staan @sweetth1ng @starrystarkey93 @libidinexx @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @gasly-kvyat @brown-bi-beautiful @peter-laufeyson @im-squished @meshlababy @lindseyrae20 @cb97skies @qwccrr @ssprayberrythings @yougottalovefandoms @jbcalway @realgaytrash @natyvwe @poetryazenth @winterberryfox @ahahafudge @okiegirl24 @0moondoodler0 @why-wait-4-eventually @abzidabzy

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #rosie and i*

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amazingmaeve · 3 years

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I’m so sorry - Hermione granger

Harry Potter Masterlist

Summary: Y/N Malfoy twin sister to Draco Malfoy and daughter of Narcissa Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy. Y/N and Hermione are in love but she had to break up with Hermione to protect her from Voldemort. Now she finally stands up while she’s being torture by her aunt.

Pairing: Hermione Granger x FemaleMalfoy!reader

Warnings: Torture, Angst, Spoiler

AN: I just had this idea and wanted to writes before I forgot it.

Word Count: 1588

Y/N Malfoy was thought to be as cruel as her family. That's what everyone thinks and thought. She didn't really bully anyone but had something against mudbloods since her parents said they were bad.

When Y/N met Hermione Granger she was quite rude. Y/N was taught to not be nice to Mudbloods and she knew Hermione Granger was one.

One night on the Astronomy tower Y/N ran into Hermione Granger. It was their fifth year and Y/N was sad she's always been sad.

Her parents mostly Lucius had always chastise her for being to soft. That she should be more like Draco. That made her angry and sad.

Y/N was sad because no matter what she did it would never please her parents.

Y/N was also angry at herself for not being more like Draco. Less emotional. Even though she was a Slytherin Y/N had cared more. She always felt bad when she said mean things. Or when Draco did it. Y/N just wished she could be more strong.

"Oh it's you," Y/N snapped out of her face to see Hermione standing there. Y/N was quick to wipe the tears away. "Wait are you crying," Hermione questions Y/N could almost sense some concern.

"Go head make fun of me Granger," Y/N sniffles drying her eyes making them more red.

"Unlike I don't make fun of people," Hermione states going sit next to Y/N. "Are you okay," She asks putting her books down.

"Obviously not," Y/N not putting her head in her hands trying to make her head ache go away.

"Sorry stupid question," Hermione cringes. "So you want to talk about it I'm a good listener," She gives her a half of a smile.

Y/N sighs she's never really had anyone to talk to so it's weird to her.

"Well first my parents think I'm to emotional and should be like my twin. And second of all I think I should be less emotional," Y/N lets out a few tears. "See I'm too emotional," She lets out a chuckle.

"It's okay to be emotional," Hermione corrects her starting to feel bad for her. Y/N had barely talked to Hermione only when she had introduced herself.

Y/N had wanted to apologize but didn't want her parents to hate her even more.

“Why are you being so nice to me I've been nothing but rude to you," Y/N questions feeling her heart race and butterflies in her stomach.

"I believe you are a good person just brought up with a bad influence," Hermione smiles at her and puts her hand on hers Y/N smiles back.

From that day on Y/N and Hermione always met at the astronomy tower. She always set her smiles when no one was looking.

Y/N could feel herself falling for the smart and beautiful girl.

Then one night as they were talking and laughing about her days, then Hermione kissed her on the lips.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean-," Hermione was about to apologize when Y/N had brought her hand to Hermiones cheek and kissed her again.

She moved her lips along with hers. When they broke away Y/N let out a nervous chuckle putting her hand on her.

From then on Y/N and Hermione would sneak around with giggles and kisses.

Whenever Y/N needed a shoulder to cry on Hermione would always be there for her reassuring that it was ok to be different.

And when Hermione needed to talk about fights with Ron and Harry Y/N would be there for each other.

It's been about a year that this has been going and they're almost done with their sixth year. Y/N had just found out that Professor Snape had killed professed Dumbledore.

Y/N then figured out her brother had the mark. And that's when it clicked why he had been distant. Y/N and Draco were somewhat close but they drifted when she got with Hermione.

Y/N was scared that her brother found out and told her mom. But it wouldn't be as bad as if her dad had known. But Hermione reassured her that nothing was wrong and oh how wrong Hermione was.

And know she had to break up with Hermione because her mother found out through Draco. Y/N was so scared that they would hurt Hermione she had to break up with her.

"Y/N what's wrong I was worried about when I couldn't find you," Hermione rushes over to Y/N worried that she had gotten hurt.

"I'm sorry," Y/N sobs.

"Why what's wrong love," Hermione asks brushing the tears away with her thumbs as her hands wrapped around her cheeks.

"We can't be together anymore," Y/N whispers.

"What why," Hermione asks confusion spreads on her cheek.

"My family found out," Y/N's lips tremble as tears cascade down her cheeks feeling heartbreak.

"Oh," Hermione lets out a breath.

"It's better you don't be with me I don't want you to get hurt," Y/N's body's tremble as she sobs. "I'm sorry please don't hate me," Y/N whimpers.

"Shh love I don't hate you," Hermione shushes her. "We will meet again and I know we'll end up together," Hermione lets some tears fall. She leans forward and kisses her one last time before leaving.

Y/N sadly smiles at Hermione leaves as tears keep on falling and falling.

And finally here we are at the Malfoy Manor with Draco and Y/N by their parents sides.

Her eyes widen as the Golden Trio was dragged into the room. Y/N felt her heart stop and her body coming to a halt.

"Oh my god," Y/N whispers.

She blocks out everything even when her aunt goes on a rant about a sword one of the guys have.

Of course her aunt almost murders the guys wanting to get the sword.

Draco drags Y/N out as her aunt mutters something about girl talk with Hermione and dragged the two boys down to the dungeon.

Hermiones scream snap her out of her daze. She felt her stomach twirl with anxiety and anger. The anger driven towards her aunt.

When Draco is looking away Y/N runs away to go to the room where her aunt is torturing Hermione.

"Stop," Y/N screams as she grabs her wand and points it at Bellatrix. Her eyes were burning with rage.

Bellatrix's eyes snap up to her nieces.

"And what are you going to do about my dearest niece," Bellatrix smirks knowing that Y/N was to weak to do anything.

"Stupefy," Y/N shout pointed her wand at Bellatrix who goes flying

As she gets flown across the room she runs across the room to Hermione where tears are rolling down her cheeks.

She helps Hermione stand up and pulls her behind so that her crazy aunt doesn't do anything.

"Don't even think about doing anything," Y/N snaps at her aunt who got up pretty fast who puts up her wand with a smirk on her face.

"Or what," Bellatrix cackles.

As she was about to speak her parents enter the room with Draco by her side.

"Y/N don't do anything stupid," Lucius snaps at his daughter who has had enough of her family.

"No I've had enough of this, from you, my family who's supposed to support me," Y/N snaps as tears roll down her cheek.

"Y/N sweetheart calm down," Narcissa softly told her daughter not wanting thing to go out of hand.

Y/N scoffs a little but was interrupted again when Harry and Ron entered the room and started casting spells to get Hermione out.

But what she didn't feel her aunt grab Hermione from behind her.

"STOP,"Bellatrix yells Y/N turns around to see her want and against Hermiones chin. Tears come down Hermione's cheeks.

Bellatrix goes on a rant and as Y/N pulls out her want the chandelier cascades down on Bellatrix.

Y/N runs to Hermione to make sure she’s.

“Minoe you ok,” Y/N softly asks as she grabs her hands.

As Hermione was about to speak but was interrupted by Ron.

“Hermione come let’s go,” Ron rushes.

“I’m not leaving without her,” Hermione says grabbing her hand pulling her along.

She sees the disappointed look on her families face as they all stand together and Y/N hands intertwines with Hermiones’. Hermione squeezes Y/N hand reassuring her.

Dobby the house elf that used to work for her family makes a huge speak which she smiles at. Y/N was one of the only Malfoy’s that cared about him.

They finally do the Apparition to make them leave the manor but not before Bellatrix throws a knife going with them.

They reappear somewhere else as Hermione clings on to Y/N.

“Thanks god you’re ok,” Y/N whispers as she kissed Hermione. She kisses back wrapping her arm around Y/N’s waist.

After they break apart she notices that Dobby has a knife in his stomach.

“No,” Y/N whispers as Dobby stumbles into Harry’s arm. Harry wants to do something Y/N sees but knows there’s nothing that can happen.

Y/N lets more tears fall as Dobby takes his last breath. Hermione hugs her as she cries on her shoulder.

She got out of her families house but ended in a tragedy.

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sapphire-strikes · 2 years

Note

This is more so of an opinion question, rather than a writing prompt. (But you can write about it if you want) But do you believe that Boris has other relatives besides just his parents. Like an aunt, uncle and/or cousins, weather that be on his mom’s side or his dad’s. And if he did, do you think they’d be good people? Even though he’d never mention them before, do you think he’d ever want to met them? Assuming one or two of them live in the USA and maybe want to meet him too? (Pt. 1)

Okay, so this is actually a subject I've been thinking about for a while! This post is pretty much going to be me mulling over a few ideas that I might include in my writing later on, so feel free to brush over this if you're not interested.

Also, I got these asks like ages ago but thank you so much, sorry it took me so long to answer!

When Boris' parents passed, he was their only heir and the first and only person contacted about the incident despite not having contact with them in years; and when he signed for his inheritance, he truly believed that would be the last time he'd cross paths with that part of his past.

About ten years after that and graduating college, Boris Habit builds the Habitat, meets his assistant Kamal, spirals into near madness, then things start falling apart and the FK punches him, gives him a flower, and hugs him, and the next thing you know his life begins to turn around.

Things start shaky but for pretty much the first time ever he begins to experience what it's like to rely on other people and once he feels like that reliance isn't going to fold in on him, he embraces it fully. Even a bit excessively as he becomes extremely clingy to both you and Kamal.

There are a few hurdles with him learning that you having other friends doesn't make him any less important to you and him letting people besides the two of you get close to him (The other ex-habiticians being a good start).

It takes a bit but he (for the most part) settles in quite nicely, even making some friends of his own. Not that the clinginess to you and Kamal ever really goes away, the two of you he considers family through and through. He finally has a family, a real family and he's not going to let anything get in the way.

The only thing capable of offering any kind of disturbance and resurgence of the past ironically being anyone from his literal family.

I don't know if I could completely sum up the way he'd react. Whether these relatives of his reached out through correspondence, phone call, or a surprise visit his initial reaction would be polite, surprised even, offering a hello, and depending on whether or not he remembered them from his childhood he might even be excited to see them at first.

But as soon as the reminiscing starts or the first eager handshake happens, he freezes, and quickly, that instinctive politeness begins to fall apart. Looking at them, reuniting with that piece of his past, feels like he's met face to face with a ghost. The ghost of something he threw away years ago and buried to start a better life. And before the conversation can really begin, he ends it without explanation.

This is where things get complicated. What if his relatives weren't bad people? What if they were even a small part of his childhood that he remembers fondly? An uncle or cousins that his parents didn't put up a facade for and he was allowed to be himself around. Even then, the idea of having them around, having an actual part of his past around, means it isn't really buried, is it? But would it be right of him to turn them away based simply on the fact they were once a small part of his life that they themselves would have no idea he left behind?

That's how he feels initially at least and he doesn't know how to handle it and simply ghosts them, filled with the somewhat irrational fear of losing you and Kamal, the family that he's built, because his past he buried to build it came knocking on his door.

He won't even talk about it for the first few days and Kamal is quick to pick up on the fact that something is wrong. More specifically the fact that Boris refused to even leave the house. When Kamal finally convinces him to come clean about what's bothering him, his first reaction to it is simply, "That's a....that's a tricky one, bud" and in the end, Kamal refrains from offering too much of an opinion on the matter, knowing this is something Boris needs to decide on his own.

"Protecting" him from these people will only make it harder for him to move on in the future, but pushing for reconnections simply on the principle of them being "family" was the farthest thing from what he needed.

Boris needed to know that he had a choice he could make, so whatever decision he made would be the right one for himself, and that's all that mattered.

"I can't tell you what to do here, I shouldn't at least. Just know that sometimes you gotta do what's best for you and there's nothin' wrong with that. No matter what you choose to do, I'll be with you all the way. You won't be losing me or the kid anytime soon, I promise you that."

In the end, it's after getting the FK's, your input, that he finally makes his decision.

"If they're serious about wanting to make things right, then they'll understand and respect your decision, and if not...well, that doesn't sound like much of family in the first place, does it?"

Since this is all simply theoretical for now, I'll leave his decision up to your imagination while I answer your first question!

Do I think that Boris has any living relatives? Yes, of course! Most of which I'm sure are still in Russia and have no interest or knowledge of his existence.

Then there is a concept I do have a little bit of interest in! The Fandom characters based on Habit's concept art that I believe go by the names Grigory, Forsaw, and Bahd, that people often headcanon to be Boris' Uncle and cousins? I'm a huge fan of the idea and names and would love to do something of my own with it, but have always been unsure if the idea belonged to someone in particular and didn't what to overstep my fandom boundaries.

#smile for me #sfm #boris habit #more rambling than actual writing

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dtrhwithalex · 3 years

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TV | Leverage (Season 2, Rewatch)

Rewatch of the second season of TNT's LEVERAGE (2008-2012), created by John Rogers and Chris Downey together with Dean Devlin and his production company Electric Entertainment.

In anticipation of the show's reboot / revival / sequel LEVERAGE: REDEMPTION coming to IMDbTV on 09 July this year, I am rewatching the original 77 episodes and writing about my favourite moments and things from each episode, season by season.

201: THE BEANTOWN BAILOUT JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 15 July 2009.

We here at the Rabbit Hole adore the Beantown Bailout Job very much (and by we I mean me). It is such a great season-opener and everything about it sets up the season so nicely. Also let me just say, I love the cheesy intro. I like to imagine that this plays on whatever website the clients usually end up finding the team. It would be so confusing. And wonderful.

This episode, of course, also introduces another of my favourite characters: Lt. Patrick Bonanno, State Police. And I am very sad that there is zero chance we'll ever get to see him in the reboot, since the wonderful Robert Blanche has unfortunately passed away last year. Bonanno was such a fantastic addition to this show and I love him very much. He is just brilliant in every episode he is in.

Aside from the introduction of Bonanno, Beantown is a brilliant episode for various reasons, but I wanna talk about this one most of all. John Rogers talked about this on his blog, I think -- not one member of the team can come straight out and admit that they need the others. It is the impromptu meeting at Sophie's performance that brings them together again (very much against Nate's best attempts). Only once they're at McRory's and Parker suggests stealing something to cheer up Sophie is when they all fess up and tell Nate that they want this team back together again. And then, of course, we have one of my favourite sequences in this entire show: Nate forcefully being bullied back into this family. They do exactly what he did to them in The Second David Job -- they get him to contribute knowledge to the case that they, allegedly, lack. And he knows what they're doing, of course, he's not an idiot. Well played, indeed.

I would also like to personally thank one Nadine Haders, this show's most brilliant costume designer, for every single piece of clothing she put on Christian Kane for this episode. That green sweater with the brown jeans jacket? All my love to you, Nadine. All of it. Also, uncharacteristically, Nate has some very good looks in this episode (the man looks healthy for once!) and I am unreasonably mad about it (actually, he has some very good looks this entire season).

One last thing: I would like to have a word with whoever decided to play the Andy Lange song here that Sophie's departure in The Two Live Crew Job is set to. It makes this first half of the season a circle. Who do I need to have words with? Who?

202: THE TAP-OUT JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 22 July 2009.

An absolutely amazing episode for Eliot but also very much for Sophie. They are the Conference Of Mom Friends, and I adore them very much, thank you. It is a fantastic episode for them individually, but especially also for the specific relationship these two people have. There is an amazing post floating around on this website (this one here) talking exactly about this episode and Eliot and Sophie in the role of protectors in their team, their family.

There are a few scenes here that I really like and really, most of them are about or with Eliot. I love in the briefing at the hotel that Eliot does not just dismiss Sophie's misunderstanding of wrestling, but takes the time to explain to her what the sport is about -- and she listens. We also here get a nice glimpse at the fact that Eliot teaches them certain fighting skills and self-defence techniques, which I just love so much. Just as Sophie coaches them all in their grifts, he makes sure that they all have a certain know-how in fighting and protecting themselves. It's so good.

I am also very fond of both the moment where Eliot brings Sophie to the restaurant to meet with Rucker, but also Sophie showing up at the gym at night to talk to Eliot while he's preparing for the fight against Tank. Eliot gives away so much of himself in this episode, and it is very interesting to me that the person he does this with is, continually, Sophie. The others may be on comms, and might be, for all we know, listening in, but it is Sophie he tells these things to. It's like Hardison says later in The Two Live Crew Job: "We trust Nate to make sure the plan works, we trust you (Sophie) to make sure we're all okay." While I would not necessarily call Sophie the heart of the group (that's Hardison), she is very much the emotional centre of it.

This episode is also just very lovely to see how they all take to an environment that is, for once, not big city life. Eliot takes to it immediately, which makes sense, because he probably is from a town not much different from this one. Parker, somehow, fits in immediately as well (I love her I <3 Nebraska shirt). I feel like Nate never has any issues fitting in anywhere, he just takes things as they come. It is Hardison and Sophie who have difficulties -- Sophie because she is, after all, a bit posh and needs certain standards met, and Hardison because his world of technology does not mix well with a small, rural Midwestern town ("Can't hack a hick" anyone?).

203: THE ORDER 23 JOB

D: ROD HARDY. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 29 July 2009.

I occasionally see some posts on here that call what the team does to Charles Dodgson in 512: The White Rabbit Job the worst thing the team does to a mark. I have to say, objectively, I think what they do to Eddie Maranjian in this episode is much worse. Of course, Dodgson is a good person, and Eddie is a crook, but still. Objectively? This episode is more evil.

Anyway, this episode has some fantastic moments that I adore a whole lot. I love Eliot and Hardison as cops, Sophie's act is absolutely amazing, and I have a super soft spot for both Nate teaching Parker what he is doing, and also Eliot and his side quest of helping Randy.

I am so incredibly fond of all these little moments where Parker's eventual role of Mastermind is already being planted. She always asks Nate questions, if she doesn't have a part to play in the con, she is with Nate, learning. She says it in the pilot episode already: "I'm really good at one thing, only one thing, that's it. But you, you know other things, and I can't stop doing my one thing, can't retire." And then she does her best to learn the other things Nate knows. This episode particularly, how Nate explains to her how NLP works, that what he is selling is fear. Nate is so patient with her, too. I love them both so very much.

Eliot's side quest with Randy and his abusive dad is an absolutely excellent addition to this episode. Especially after the previous Eliot-centric episode, this small thing just goes to show that, at their core, these are good people. Yes, they are criminals, the lot of them. But they are not bad people. Things like this just make me think that, it had to have been this exact combination of people Dubenich put together. Any other thief, any other hacker, and Nate would have walked away from this alone. It had to be Parker, Hardison and Eliot for this to work exactly as it did. And Eliot looking out for Randy even though they are in the middle of a con, taking his time to make sure Bob, the U.S. Marshall goes to see Randy, is exactly something that brings this point home.

Lastly, I adore that everyone shows up at the court house when Eddie goes to find his money. He knows they all conned him, but they know no one is ever going to believe him. It's a fantastic gloat scene. And I also really love that Nate explains why this works to the others: "So, here's everything you need to know about criminal law. Every crime has two elements, Actus reus, the act itself, and mens rea, Literally "The Guilty Mind." ... Now, for escape, the prisoner has to both break out of custody and show the intent to escape. ... Which brings us back to our friend Eddie and how the brain reacts to fear. In the heat of the moment Eddie didn't ask himself a simple question, who would doubt his guilty mind?"

204: THE FAIRY GODPARENTS JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 05 August 2009.

This one was Bernie Madoff inspired, if I recall correctly, who was arrested in 2008, around the time Berg, Downey and Rogers were already bouncing ideas back and forth for this season.

There is so much to love in this episode! Where to even begin. Maybe with Parker replacing Sophie at the client meeting? Or Sophie immediately heading for both popcorn and the cookie tin after the breakup? How about Parker perching on Eliot's arm rest with her food? Nate's headmaster act? Eliot as Coach Brewer (red is a fantastic colour on him, thank you Nadine)? Hipster rich newlyweds Parker and Hardison? The return of my beloved FBI fools McSweetheart and Taggert? Taggert being McSweetheart's biggest supporter in his affection for Parker? Sophie and Widmark? The actual science-sical with all these adorable kids singing about science?

So much to love. Chock-full of greatness, this episode. Also Frakes, once again, directed the hell outta this. I love this episode so very much.

One moment that does, however, absolutely win out over everything else, is the scene at Nate's apartment after Hardison and Parker meet McSweeten and Taggert again:

Eliot: One of you two can identify the gunman, right? Hardison: Oh, yeah, sure. He stopped and let me take a picture of him as I was chasing him. Eliot: Hey, you know what, man? I've been around little kids all day. I don't need to come home and do all this crap.

That line, Mr Spencer? "I don't need to come home and do all this crap"? Home? Sir, we are four episodes into the second season, and you are already calling Nate's apartment home. Honestly, that boy has been invested into this group as a family from the moment Hardison hands him a check in the pilot episode, if not earlier. And I am very much here for all of it.

205: THE THREE DAYS OF THE HUNTER JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 12 August 2009.

This is another one of those episodes which, when I think about it, I am not entirely into, but then when I watch it, I always love it. It's a brilliant episode, but the mark rubs me in all the wrong ways and I think that's why my general reaction to this episode in theory is mostly "ew". Which I think is kind of the point, as well.

There is much to love in this episode, though. Sophie being Nate in this one, Nate being very wary of this concept and also having difficulties letting someone else take control ("If you don't mind, I would still do the 'Hardison, run it' thing" Nathan you precious little man, I love you so much). I think it's so nicely done. I mean Sophie has run cons before -- she was the Mastermind behind the First David Job, and she runs their con in the Second David Job as well -- but then she was confident, now she is going through things, on the brink of rediscovering herself for who she is. And of course, it bites her in the ass a little bit.

I absolutely adore Conspiracy Nut Hardison and his fantastic apartment. Set Design did a magnificent job here. I am so fond of Parker asking Eliot about the different things -- the council, the moon landing, Loch Ness monster -- and also very much the bit at the end where he and Hardison answer Parker's questions while he prepares food. That ending bit overall is just absolutely excellent and I love it with my whole heart. Eliot cooking for all of them in Nate's kitchen, giving Parker stuff to try, while Hardison sits there and sips his orange soda out of a wine glass. Meanwhile Nate pouring wine for Sophie, and then going over to her to make sure she is alright. For his slightly more sadistic streak in this season, Nate is so good with Sophie here. And honestly I think this conversation here is one of the reasons why Sophie feels able to leave them for a while. It is Nate's reassurance of "Whatever you need, I'm here for you" that lets her take this leave of absence.

206: THE TOP HAT JOB

D: PETER O'FALLON. W: M. SCOTT VEACH & CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 19 August 2009.

I adore this episode! The fantastic Veach and Boylan on the keyboard for this one (who, I've had to find out, are both tangentially involved with my latest hyperfixation, SHADOW AND BONE -- Veach having written my favourite episode, and Boylan being married to the showrunner), which is just lovely, because they are both excellent.

First off, I would like to, once again, give all my love to Nadine Haders for that Pizza Guy outfit she put Kane in for the recon sequence. A+ costuming, thank you Nadine.

This episode has so many excellent comedic beats and a wonderful many Hardison/Eliot moments. Sophie trying to set up Nate with their client is absolutely hysterical -- especially considering that she had just been broken up with and had been urging Nate to figure out what it is that is between them since day one. I especially love her attempt at finding things Nate has in common with Jameson: "She's a scientist. And well, you're a bit nerdy, aren't you? ... And food, she works with food. Well, you eat, don't you?" Like, girl, what are you trying to do here, really?

I absolutely adore Hardison and Eliot trying to get into the server room so Hardison can access the data they are trying to get before anyone can get rid of it. Eliot hooking Parker's rope to Hardison's belt, Eliot's complete awe at Hardison's ability to remote access their mark's phone ("You can do that?" Eliot, honey, he can do so much more), the two of them wedged underneath the desk, and then, of course, Eliot's huge smile when Hardison hacks the scanner at the door with the help of his gummy frogs. I love these boys together so much, and this episode has given me so many great moments.

I am also incredibly fond of Nate's magician act. That is a brilliant role and it suits him so well. And I love how genuinely enthusiastic he is about magic.

207: THE TWO LIVE CREW JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS & AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 26 August 2009.

This is an absolutely brilliant episode for so many different reasons. Let me get two things out of the way straight off the bat: 1) Where do I address my "Chaos For Leverage: Redemption" campaign to? and 2) Where do I address my "Apollo Robbins For Leverage: Redemption" campaign to? I want both of them back desperately!

Of course, this episode is important as a major stepping stone in Sophie's character arc. Because of Chaos and his bomb, she has to kill off one of her aliases which is the last thing that then leads to her taking a leave of absence to figure out who she is and who she wants to be. That scene in her apartment with the bomb is also just an excellent moment for the team as a family. The care with which everyone interacts with Sophie, Parker's instant pudding hack, Eliot's instructions on how defuse this situation, Sophie's immediate shift into protector mode once it becomes clear that the only real solution is to run and telling everyone to leave immediately, Nate staying behind and even when Sophie tells him to leave, waiting for her by the apartment door -- they care for each other so much.

I also really love the con-off with Starke's crew. It is so nice to see how similar yet different he and Nate are, and the same goes for the other crew members. I adore their individual confrontations a lot. Eliot's non-fight fight with Mikel Dayan, Parker's thief-off with Apollo, Hardison and Chaos' baby monitor fight. It just really highlights who our beloved characters are and what makes them them, now that we see them, metaphorically, in front of their mirror.

And then, of course, the actual heist is also just amazing. I adore that Starke chooses Nate as his alias to gain access, it is such a great move. Parker and Apollo talking in the ventilation shaft about birds is also just so lovely. And as an admirer of Eliot's arms, I am also very fond of his fight with Mikel. Good choices have been made, I appreciate all of them. The reveal at the end is also absolutely amazing. To beat them they had to save them? Brilliant.

Lastly, of course, Sophie's goodbye at the graveyard with Nate. What a spectacular moment. Also just, the visuals are so beautiful. I love the lighting here. And of course the return of Andy Lange's song, which is just perfect. I am so happy that this is the journey they decided to give Sophie when it became clear that Gina would not be able to be in the full seasons due to her pregnancy. They accommodated her so beautifully and gave Sophie such an amazing moment of character growth. This is why I love this show and the people who made it so much. All my love, to all of them.

208: THE ICE MAN JOB

D: JEREMIAH CHECHIK. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 02 September 2009.

We love The Ice Man Job! Another fantastic episode by one Christine Boylan who we love in this house. Our very first episode without Sophie being there, and it's a great one. I absolutely adore how they worked in moments with our favourite grifter in a way that so wonderfully accommodates Gina's pregnancy.

I absolutely adore the moments where all of them eventually end up calling Sophie. Parker, hiding underneath the bar after Nate tells her she'll be the grifter in this one, calling her mom Sophie in a panic without wanting the others to know, but still needing her advice and missing her so much. Then Eliot, calling to complain to his mom Sophie about Hardison going overboard again with the grift, needing the knowledge that his concerns are being heard and aren't unfounded, needs to hear the other protector of the family acknowledge his rightful fear that things will go sideways. And of course also Hardison, calling mom Sophie so she can pick him up from the party help him out of the mess he's made, hoping against all hope that she'll be able to help without having to involve Nate. The others both had the luxury to ask Sophie not to tell Nate -- Hardison had no other choice but to let her call it in. Lastly, Nate too, at the end, calling his wife Sophie. And honestly, I love that Sophie drops her phone into her drink after the call, because Nate is the only one not giving her what she wants to hear. The kids, all of them, called with an "I need you" and that is the one thing Nate doesn't give her.

There are many other things in this episode that I love very much. The opening briefing, Parker feeling alone on the big empty couch, trying to sit next to Eliot, but he makes her move. Nate's big DadTM moment of "Eliot, can you please sit next to Parker" and Eliot's very long-suffering oldest child answer "No! I'm sitting here now."

Then of course Eliot and Hardison's two moments -- Eliot telling Hardison "I ain't bailing your ass out" and then when he eventually does anyway, Hardison's smug joy, forcing Eliot to sort-of-hug him back at McRory's. Eliot's unsuccessful attempt to make him helping Hardison a decision forced onto him by Parker, and Parker refusing to accept the "blame" immediately. Their whole dynamic this episode is just so good. Neither Eliot nor Parker being happy with Hardison in this role (Parker's refusal to ride with him in the Ferrari), Eliot proudly watching Parker do her thing over the security camera ("Stuck it!").

Lots of love also to Pasha Lychnikoff as our main Russian goon, who is just fantastic here, our much beloved Lt. Patrick Bonanno, and also Nadine Haders for so many amazing looks, especially on Eliot.

209: THE LOST HEIR JOB

D: PETER WINTHER. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 09 September 2009.

Court-room episode, which means we have our friend Chris Downey on the keys here, and he gave us an absolutely excellent introduction for Tara Cole played by the lovely Jeri Ryan. Honestly, the more often I watch this episode, the better it gets. Tara is just so good.

Highlights of this episode include: Sophie's immediate "who died?!" when Nate shows up at her apartment in London, Hardison playing "Where is Waldo Ford," Hardison and Eliot in prison, the first appearance of Nate's lawyer alias Jimmy Papadokalis who wears brilliantly loud and obnoxious suits in outrageous colour-combinations, Hardison stalling Blanchard at court security with his keys, Nate's reveal of Ruth as Kimball's daughter (I am fascinated that he completely drops the character here -- he is just Nate now), and of course, the reveal of Tara at the end.

Honestly, this is such a magnificent episode to introduce Tara's character. We have just watched the team scramble and fuck up without Sophie, and then their next job gets more complicated because of this random lawyer who shows up. And she's so righteous and law-abiding and absolutely not someone they should be taking with them on their job. And Tara plays it perfectly. Her honest try at getting Orson to talk to them, her confusion about her "dogs", her excited smile when she gets to con Blanchard and be a bit dishonest -- it is so good. And then we get that complete 180° when the team finds her in Nate's apartment. Not just visually, but the personality. Her voice drops a bit too. Jeri fucking rocked this introduction. The reveal is so damn good.

210: THE RUNWAY JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 13 January 2010.

I have zero interest in fashion but I honest to God love every single one of these characters at fashion week. Fashion!Eliot is absolutely fantastical and I love him. Julien, my beloved. Fashion!Parker is very cute with her braid and even before she gets the model makeover she outshines every single other person at the event. Fashion!Hardison is surprisingly understated but I dig it. Tara as Caprina is also just excellent. And I absolutely, un-ironically adore Fashion!Nate. Jacques is such a character. Nate exchanged the usual "obnoxious and greasy" with "gay," slapped some would-be-French that sounds like German on top of it, and called it a character. And I love it.

I also very much love the three video calls with Sophie in this episode. The kids calling in the beginning, complaining about Tara. I absolutely adore both the "she's hot" moment and Eliot's "...and all the way to Europe?" when Sophie says Nate lets what is good for him walk out the door. Parker's little "I just miss you" before they hang up has me all the way up in my emotions every damn time. Tara calling Sophie to complain about Nate is also just excellent. The whole bit with Nate's "I'm sexy because I'm broken" thing is just *chef's kiss*. And of course Nate's call at the end. I love that Sophie hangs up on him, it is so fair, it is absolutely justified. And I think he knows that too.

So many great other moments too -- Hardison's Steven Seagal comment about Eliot's clothes, Nate's "Julien, sweetheart" and Eliot's little clap before taking the money, Nate and Parker at the mark's house, Eliot and Tara vs the Triads, Eliot and Parker at fashion week together ("It's a fashion show, not Thieves'R'Us"), and of course Tara's "For what it's worth, Sophie was right. You guys are the best I've ever seen ... But no one in the world, is as good as you think you are."

211: THE BOTTLE JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 20 January 2010.

This episode has got to be one of my favourites, if I were forced to chose some. I love a bottle episode, and this one is just magnificent. Excellent client, great mark, fantastic additional characters, wonderful episode for the team. All around just, so good. Not surprising if Frakes and Boylan are at the wheel together, of course.

The addition of Cora is so lovely. I would have loved to see more of her, to be honest. She is such a great character. I love what her presence does to who we see Nate as. I adore when characters get to show new sides of themselves, it's so nice. Also, Nate's comment to Eliot about him not wanting Eliot to like Cora because she's like his niece? Most excellent.

I adore our three police officers too. Mickey, Danny and Johnny are such great additions. I really liked them. How they just went with whatever Nate was planning and in the end decided to just pretend none of this ever happened, it's just so good.

Doyle and the Liams as our villains of the week are also just fantastic. Also I just love Irish accents, it sounds so good. I love to hear it.

Other highlights of this episode include: Tara's "I'm Trish and I'm lonely", the kids going for their individual emergency funds stashed in Nate's place (they are all so fantastically in character, I love it), Nate using his dad's name as his alias, everyone stopping to see if Nate is going to succumb to the booze again, Hardison's excitement about pulling off the wire in under 2h, Hardison faking the weather, Eliot and Parker on safe duty. Also, rewatching this episode, I am absolutely 100% convinced that what Eliot is doing to distract the Liams from Tara conning Doyle, absolutely categorises as flirting. The way he throws that dart at the board and then buys them beer? Mr Spencer, sir, you are flirting with these guys.

212: THE ZANZIBAR MARKETPLACE JOB

D: JEREMIAH CHECHIK. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 27 January 2010.

The wonder twins with yet another magnificent episode. No surprises here. We have not just the return of Maggie but also of Sterling! We love this!!! (Seriously, I want both of them back in the reboot. I don't care that they're most closely tied to Nate. Bring them back.)

This episode has so many absolutely excellent moments as well. I love the opening sequence in the bar, with them going over possible next clients together, Nate kicking Eliot for flirting with the bartender, and then of course also Sterling walking in. The interaction Nate and Eliot have here is just fantastic.

Sterling: *walks in* Nate: Eliot, I'm gonna ask you not do do anything violent. Eliot: Wha-what are you talking about? I only use violence as an appropriate response. Sterling: Hello, Nate. Eliot: *responds appropriately*

And to think that Sterling only gets beat up here because Mark Sheppard's son was visiting the set that day and wanted to see his dad get beat up by Eliot. We stan one Sheppard Jr.

I very much love the scene where Nate and Sterling go over what they have on Lundy, and then Parker interrupting them out of nowhere, just sitting there on the counter, like she's been there forever (which she probably has). Also just, fantastic clothes on Parker, thank you Nadine. Maggie showing up here is of course also brilliant and I am very fond of Parker making Maggie a fugitive bag. It is so completely adorable. I love my girl so much.

Another favourite moment is, of course, Tara and Eliot getting Chernov to tell them where the sale of the Fabergé egg will take place. Tara not saying a damn thing, Eliot grumpily doing what Tara tells him to ("Do that thing with your eyes that scares people" / "What -- I don't know what you're talking about"), Chernov's complete unease about this whole entire situation, and then of course Tara and Eliot's other interaction:

Tara: What we imagine is always so much better than reality. Eliot, with the tiniest voice possible: Like love? Tara: *just stares at him, confused*

Just, *chef's kiss* this scene.

The scenes in the embassy are also just excellent. Tara and Nate pretending to be a couple, Nate's inability to deal with the idea of Maggie and Alexander, Maggie and Tara hysterically giggling while talking about Nate, Sterling pretending to be drunk (and incredibly gay) to get Parker access to the egg room -- brilliance, all the way through.

I adore Eliot taking charge of the situation once it becomes clear that Maggie and Nate have been taken hostage. Parker doing her magic and switching the bomb with the empty briefcase in the elevators is beautiful. Maggie kissing Nate instead of Lundy in what could have been their final moment and regretting it instantly the moment Parker shows up is excellent.

And the final scene back at McRory's is also just wonderful. The kids watching the news about Sterling with Tara ("I hate this guy" / "Now, you're part of the team"), and Nate talking with Maggie. I adore Maggie in this scene so much. Her and Nate's relationship is so lovely. We know Sophie understands how Nate ticks, but Maggie knows him so well too, still.

213: THE FUTURE JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: CHRIS DOWNEY & AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 03 February 2010.

This episode is so good for so many reasons. First off, I adore Luke Perry (I'm still sad about him) even if he plays creeps like Rand in most everything I've seen him in. He was just so good. Second, Medium Tara is probably my favourite role of hers. It's a lot softer than many of the other characters she's done, and I love it. Also the costuming is just excellent.

But I want to talk about Parker most of all. The scene where Rand cold reads her is so well done. Riesgraf knocked it out of the park here. Also, I love how Nate, as soon as Rand starts approaching and doing his act, barely ever takes his eyes off her. He occasionally glances at Rand, but his attention is on Parker at all times. And it just makes me feel things.

The team coming back to Nate's to find Parker sitting on the floor in front of the couch, crying also makes me super emo. They are all so very careful with her here. Even Tara, who hasn't been with them for that long. I quite like how Eliot and Hardison choose to sit a bit away, giving her space, and Nate carefully approaches and sits closest to her. They are all so good with her here, I love them all so much. And I absolutely adore this part of the conversation:

Tara: So what do we do now? Parker: Cut off his arms. And his head. Yeah. I wanna kill him. Can we make that happen? Eliot: Yeah, I can...I mean, I could...

Also earlier, after Tara acknowledges that Rand is good at what he does, Hardison says "He should be shot." I adore how both our boys would not hesitate to end this man for hurting Parker like this. That's their girl and he went too damn far. And even though Nate suggests a way of retaliation that is less final, he isn't above hurting the man either. Because that's his girl, too:

Hardison: Nate had me rig the table with a mild electrical current. Eliot: You electrocuted him? Nate, smugly: Yes, I did. It helped sell the bit. Parker: I approve. Nate: Thanks, Parker. Eliot: No, her agreeing with you is not a good thing. Nate, whispering to Parker: Thanks.

And add to that the absolute joy each and every one of them have when fucking with Rand to fulfil Tara's predictions? *Chef's kiss.* Absolutely beautiful.

There is so much more absolutely fantastic content in this episode, but I just wanna point out the ending where they meet with the client again. Nate is so good with them here. The way he talks to Jodie about her baby and how she will see her late husband in the child, makes me cry every damn time. Just like Tara says, "Yeah, now I see why you do it," this is why this show is so damn good. It's because of this exactly. Because for one shining moment within so much suck and tragedy, there is goodness and a wrong that has been made right. They help people and it isn't just fleeting momentary relief. They change people's lives for the better. I love this fucking show so much.

214: THE THREE STRIKES JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 10 February 2010.

First half of the second finale! Patrick Bonanno my beloved! I get so sad every time he gets shot here. My man deserves better than this. I love Bonanno so damn much, man. I absolutely adore that Nate goes to see his family at the hospital. Like, this is a cop. The very opposite side of the law Nate and his people operate on. But he goes to see him anyway, because this is their cop. And I love that Bonanno's wife recognises Nate's name. "He wanted to buy you a drink. And then arrest you." That's just so good.

I also absolutely love Richard Kind as Brad Culpepper, the corrupt mayor. I would love to see him back in the reboot, but I doubt there'd be any reasonable explanation why on earth they'd have to see this particular mayor again. I just think Richard Kind is an absolutely fantastic actor.

Anyway, favourite moments. Hardison and Eliot at Bonanno's house is beautiful. I am so fond of how Hardison deals with law enforcement while impersonating law enforcement. He tears them down and builds them back up again, every single time. And I adore how Eliot just smiles at his antics. He crawls around on that carpet with the young cop and Eliot just stands there and smiles. I love them, guys. I really do. Parker pretending to be Brad's pregnant lover with Tara's help is also just most excellent.

And of course: Roy Chappell. Baseball Eliot, my most beloved. There is so much to love about this whole concept. Eliot's reluctance at first because he doesn't like baseball. The discovery that baseball is actually something cool and something he is good at. His absolute childlike joy at the energy drink commercial Hardison made him. His damn hair during the actual game. The sandwich! The enthusiasm about the sandwich. Hardison admitting that the sandwich thing is cool.

I also absolutely love Hardison and Parker as Beavers Fans. The badly photoshopped picture of Dean Devlin and John Rogers as the radio hosts makes me smile so much. So does hearing their voices on the show. Both Hardison and Parker's phone calls to them are also brilliant. Parker speaking Spanish? Marvelous. The two of them demonstrating the Beavers leaving? *Chef's kiss.*

The final showdown with Brad and then the FBI is also just most excellent. Nate going ballistic on Brad because of Bonanno. Hardison and Lucille. Parker giving Lucille a little kiss before they send her to explode as a distraction. Hardison quoting Spock to say goodbye to Lucille. Hardison being pissed at Nate about Lucille. And of course: Jim Sterling, Interpol. The bastard. I love him.

215: THE MALTESE FALCON JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 17 February 2010.

Second half of second finale! And it's a good one, too. This show has absolutely brilliant finales, lemme tell you.

What do we love about this episode? MUCH. Tara's naked bit is excellent. Eliot and Parker sharing a look after watching Tara's naked bit is even better. Parker turning on the porn channels on the hotel tv is hilarious. Eliot talking to the receptionist about the gym is hysterical ("Ah, the fitness spa. Isn't the Zen Steam Garden divine?" / "Yeah....delicious").

Nate on stairs vs Sterling in elevator is probably the pettiest thing I have ever watched on television and it is absolutely amazing. I don't think anything can ever top this as pettiest moment. It is just so good.

Sterling, of course, is always great fun. I love that he has his own little villain theme that announces him before he even enters the screen. Love a good villain theme. And I adore his moment with FBI Bob outside Brad's hotel room.

Sterling: Name's Bob, right? Bob: Yes, sir. Sterling: You've been here the whole time, Bob? Bob: Yes, sir. Sterling: And nobody's gone in or out, Bob? Bob: No, sir. Sterling: Then would you mind explaining, where the HELL THE MAYOR IS?!

Absolutely perfect.

Nate going back to his place always has me all up in my emotions. Also, I think Sterling here absolutely believes that what he is offering Nate, is good for him. That he can save him from himself or something. They were something like friends at some point, after all. And of course, Nate calling Sophie. She is, of course, unbeknownst to him, already on the way to save his ass. But he calls her and finally tells her exactly what she wanted to hear at the end of The Ice Man Job: "I need you. Not the team, me." Sir. I am emo about you.

And then of course the final con and the reveal of Sophie's return. I absolutely love that Parker's first reaction to Tara possibly betraying them was to try and throw her off the roof. That's my girl (I love Tara, but that was fair). Also just, if you pay attention on the boat scenes, you can see Sophie from as early as Kadjic hearing Nate's offer and then leading Nate and Eliot below deck. If you can pick out her hair and know the colour of her coat from the scene in the helicopter, you know that she is there. And then, below deck, you can see her so many times -- at one point essentially back to back with Nate -- before any of the characters know she's there. And can I just say, I absolutely love Nate's completely shocked face when he hears her voice. Those comedically big eyes are just excellent.

Everyone seeing Sophie again is done so well. Hardison and Eliot's confused "Sophie?" when she walks past. Eliot winking at Sophie after they free Nate. Parker hugging her immediately once her and Tara arrive on the ship. Hardison putting his hand on the small of her back as he passes by her to go down the stairs. I just love them all so much.

And lastly of course, the reveal of the plan, Nate cuffing himself to the railing and making Sterling leave his family alone. What Nate says to them always makes me so emo too: "You guys are the most honourable people I have ever met in my life. You have become my family, my only family. And I will never forget that." John Rogers, sir, we need to have some words once I get this lake out of my eyes. And I obviously can't not mention the kiss. Finally, finally Nate gets his shit together. And she slaps him and it is perfect. And then they leave and he sits down and bleeds and Sterling, for a moment, is genuinely concerned about Nate as a person and not merely about Nate as his only way to nail Kadjic.

Bob: Who the hell is this guy? Sterling: I have no idea. Nate: My name is Nate Ford. And I'm a thief.

Yes. Yes you are, you magnificent bastard.

[image taken from the electricnow website]

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bluedemon1995 · 3 years

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Hope you like this latest chapter. I think, I'm almost done with this one. Please comment and let me know what you think. I'Ve gone back to rotating my focus so hopefully you follow all my stories!

Pidge POV

While everyone is busy planning Pidge can't keep her eyes off Matt. His hair is longer than hers, pulled back in a messy pony tail. She vaguely remembers her mom scolding him and saying she was going to cut his hair if he didn't go with dad to the barber. It's funny how memories are popping up now when he's right in front of her. He has a scar on his forehead but otherwise looks very similar to her. Same eye color, same hair. Hell, his is probably nicer than hers.

It's like she's in some strange alternate universe. But if she being honest... it was also very scary. Because, if one thought about it rationally, everything she thought she knew for the last ten years was a lie.

Everything.

She wasn't alone. She wasn't an orphan. And isn't that the rub. She could've had a family, all this time. It could have been her and Matt. It makes her sad to think what she missed out on. Birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries of the accident. Where she suffered alone. And even when Lotor was with her he never really understood. He never realized what she felt or was going through. And looking back, she could see he didn't even really try to pretend for her either. And that just made her feel so much more alone.

At some point she would just hide away in her room and work herself to sleep. She felt like she was in a tunnel suddenly, with her breath hiccuping and her vision wavering. Oh God, she can't breathe. She had to get up. She had to move. But then she ... felt an arm slip around her shoulders and pull her close. Warmth. Heat. Her heart rate started to sync...Keith. He was here. He was real.

And she didn't care that he was FBI or law enforcement. Because with him she didn't feel alone.

She was not alone. She turned in his arms and just held on. It's funny how someone she only knew for such a short period of time could mean so much to her. Yet here she is. Surrounded by people who are on her side. And Keith.

Re-centered, she focused back onto the conversation going on around her. Glad for once there were so many people in the room. It was a few hours after the big reveal and while Keith's apartment was cramped with so many people, for once it didn't make her feel like running or hiding away. Hunk had prepared a spaghetti dinner complete with homemade bread and salad. It was hilarious when Lance questioned Keith having the ingredients for bread and Hunk sheepishly admitted to stocking his pantry, 'for emergencies'.

When she looked at Keith, he whispered, "I didn't even know I had a pantry!"

And when Lance was outraged that he didn't have a stockpile. Hunk replied that since Lance technically still lives at home, his mom has their place well stocked! Then there was Krolia and Kolivan. Kolivan finally returned with his report and Pidge could see how he'd fit in the the biker gang image. He was a tough guy but when he spoke he was so quiet and calm. It just inspired her trust in him.

Then of course, there was Matt. He was nearby, constantly finding excuses to touch her arm, hand or shoulder. It was odd. She wasn't a touchy freely person and yet, she was so happy that he seemed happy to have found her too. Despite what she had been involved in. Finally dinner in hand, they were seated all around various parts of Keith's living room.

Finally, I voiced a concern that was nagging at me. "Shiro, have we ever...met? I feel like I recognized your voice somehow? Or even your...shape?"

Matt replied, loudly, "Shiro and I were gaming friends long before we ever met. So, I would be playing games with him and you'd be in my room. So you probably did hear him but I don't think you ever saw him. But after the accident and rehab, I mentioned I needed to go to school and he convinced me to go to the same school as him. So, with nothing left to lose I did. I have a family picture of us, so Shiro has seen you before. Plus, let's be honest, we sorta look alike."

Pidge nods, "That makes sense. Unfortunately that's about the only thing that does."

Matt counters, "Okay, now that we are fed. We need to focus. Plan. I'm betting Lotor's dad is behind this. But Katie, do you think Lotor knew as well?"

She thought about it but replied, "Probably not. His dad does not respect him and they aren't close. At all, so I cannot imagine him telling a pre-teen Lotor anything. Maybe he encouraged him to be my friend but nothing overt."

Shiro nods, "Okay so why?"

Everyone is quiet, thinking.

Keith POV

"Let's take it from a slightly different angle. How did Zarkon benefit? He's pretty self serving. There is no way he didn't get something out of this."

Matt picks up, "Yeah, I'm thinking it has to do with the project my dad was working on. Some kind of weapon. I know once he died, the project did too."

Keith counters, "Then why separate you two? What are we missing? What does Zarkon desire or want?"

"Money, every bad guy wants money." stated Lance firmly.

Hunk countered, "Power, he likes to be the big kahuna. Maybe this weapon would have cost him that."

More answers were kicked around when Pidge interjects, "Control. From what I see Zarkon lives for control. In every aspect. So by causing the accident, he needed to control for the outcome or at least several outcomes. No one could have predicted Matt would be thrown from the car or I would be stuck in it. Let's be honest, people survive accidents all the time. But he prepared for all possibilities. Sooooo, that means he got something out of it. But what did he gain control of? I didn't get any money. Or things.”

Keith guesses, "Maybe he knew that the weapon mission would fail but he also knew that your dad got much farther than maybe he imagined. Do we know what the weapon was?"

Matt replied, "I tried looking into it but I couldn't get further than it was a top secret project. I've hacked into several sites over the years looking for more data but it's very cryptic. In fact it doesn't even sound like a weapon at all. More like an organic compound really. So

"That's it!! I remember mom being a gardener but really she was probably a botanist. So Zarkon has control of all drugs running in and out of Galra City. And if anyone wants in they need to bow to him. He's expanded his network and this is what Lotor was trying to beat him at. Althea. But what if there was a way to diminish his hold? What if they created something that was a weapon only in the hand of the Garrison or police? I remember her telling me that nothing is untraceable. And no one is untouchable.”

Krolia speaks up, "Zarkon has a big footprint. If we could know what drugs are his and track it someway, it would go a long way in stopping the flow. But his network of them getting the drugs into the country is, well a mystery. If we could figure that out. Well, that would be a game changer."

Everyone is quiet. Finally, Katie looks up, "So Matt, I think you need to show me what you have. If our parents were killed over this, well, they had to be close."

Matt nods, "Definitely."

Hunk interjects, "Uh, I could probably help. I'm really good at making things or finding patterns."

Keith grins, "Well, while you guys figure the item, why don't the rest of come up with a battle plan or trap?"

#katie holt #keith kogane #kidge #keith and pidge #keith x pidge #pidge and keith #alternate realities

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years

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For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash @jamies-kpop-reactions

Chapter 15: Our Story

The mere seconds that Mom spent staring at me and Taemin, slackjawed in the doorway, might as well have lasted forever.

I think we wouldn't have looked half as guilty if we hadn't flinched lightyears apart from each other at her gasp, but it was our instinct to run and hide. As it turns out, we didn't melt or fade in the light of discovery, but we certainly did burn.

"Oops!" Mom almost giggled as she tiptoed back into the hallway and closed the door with a soft click. Like she had done something wrong, she apologized. "I'm sorry! Lei, I just came to tell you that dinner is ready. Come down whenever you get hungry!"

Before I could speak even in a timid squeak of a voice, I heard Mom's footsteps retreat down the stairs. Because tense silence had fallen over my room, I heard Donghae ask, "Where's Lei? Is she okay?"

And I heard Heechul say, "She's not curled up in bed with her radio crying her eyes out to SHINee again, is she? I thought we were past that phase!"

I went red in the face because I had certainly grown a bit past that phase, but only because I had Taemin— the real-life person— to curl up with. Thinking only that Taemin was a million times more comforting than any CD had ever been-- and that's really saying something since you know well that music was my best friend before Lucas— I glanced at him.

From the foot of the bed where he had tucked himself into a humiliated ball, Taemin sprang to his feet and started pacing around in the dark.

"Oh my God," he wheezed, nearly tripping over his shoes. "She caught us. Your mother— my manager— caught me in your room. She caught us kissing. She caught us kissing in your room. She caught me kissing you on your bed in your room. She caught me whispering into your mouth that I love you on your bed in the dark in your room."

I had been flustered before Taemin became a human embodiment of anxiety. A fact about me: I strive for balance in almost every situation. If somebody (take Lucas for example) is bouncing off the walls, I will sit perfectly still. If somebody is frowning, I am trying to make them smile, even if it's the briefest, dimmest sort of smile. If somebody (like Taemin was that night) is in a panic, I am level-headed.

So when Taemin tugged at his hair, whining, "She's going to kill me. And if she doesn't kill me, she'll make me break up with you, and then that's gonna kill me. Shit, shit, shit."

"She is not going to kill you," I said confidently because I knew Mom like the back of my hand. Granted, I didn't know every detail of her life before me, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't angry. Mom never apologizes when she isn't sorry. She never apologizes when she's mad.

I was kind of joking when I said, "If she wanted to kill you, she would have sent Heechul and Donghae flying up the stairs, and—”

"Shit!" Taemin hissed. Profanities didn't suit him. "Super Junior is going to kill me!"

Slightly wavering in confidence, I assured him, "No, they're not. Mom isn't going to say anything to Super Junior."

Besides, I rationalized to myself, Yesung, who would have posed the biggest threat to Taemin's life, already knew that we were together. If Yesung didn't kill Taemin at the Christmas party, I figured that we were in the clear.

If Taemin hadn't been pacing so quickly, I might have tried to catch him in my arms to kiss his worries away as he had done for me. Given that kissing had led to this tension, though, he might not have appreciated the affection. Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't try to kiss him.

Taemin collapsed onto the edge of the bed and buried his face into his hands. When moments passed in silence, I took the chance to say, "She won't make us break up either, Taem. She just-- she was probably just shocked because she didn't know you were here. On top of that, she has always thought that Lucas and I are a thing, so—”

Into his palms, Taemin groaned, "She probably thinks you're cheating on Lucas with me or something! That makes everything a billion times worse!"

"It's more likely that she just realized that Lucas and I were never together. I mean, I've told her often enough that the message was bound to sink in sooner or later." After pulling Taemin's hands away from his face, I laced our fingers together. I gave both hands a gentle squeeze. "I get that this isn't how we wanted Mom to find out about us, but she had to find out somehow."

To tell you the truth, I was relieved that she found out in this private aspect of life and not through a tabloid expose.

"I know that you wanted to keep this-- us-- a secret so we could be roommates on tour, but we couldn't hide in the dark forever."

And to tell you the truth, I didn't want to. I wasn't eager to pen some press release or anything, but I think I was outgrowing that compulsion, that dependence on secrecy and shadows; they didn't comfort me anymore.

From everything that happened over those past few months, I learned that secrets are damning. At least in my own home, I wanted to live openly and honestly. Maybe Mom's unexpected discovery made that possible.

Stunned by my lack of humiliation, slackjawed because, for the first time, Taemin was embarrassed while I was not, I realized out loud, "I think— I think I'm glad that she found out." Drawing a deep breath, the kind that makes you realize that you've been holding your breath for far too long, I admitted, "I think— I think I've wanted her to know for a long time. Maybe forever."

Silence ensued as Taemin breathed heavily. Deeply. Inhale, count to ten. Exhale, count to ten.

My mouth opened, probably to explain that I nearly told Mom all about us on the drive to Grandma's house on my debut anniversary, but Taemin's stare took my voice away. He blinked at me. The spark in his eyes made me think that he wanted to smile at me. In hindsight, I guess he didn't. Taemin always smiled whenever he wanted to smile, and he didn't offer me the smallest grin for the rest of the night.

"I have to go," he breathed before stepping into his shoes.

That deep breath I had just drawn passed through my lips all at once. I said the wrong thing. There is nothing worse than when the truth— the full and absolute truth that rings in the deepest part of your heart— is the wrong thing to say. How can anyone regret telling the truth? How can anybody want to snatch the truth out of the air once it has been released?

"O-okay."

My stutter did not pass unnoticed despite my efforts to hide it with a smile. Taemin sat back by my side, took my face into his warm hands, and pecked at my lips. The kiss was over before I even realized it was happening.

"I love you, baby," Taemin promised. I swooned less at the affirmation of what I already knew and more at the variation of his name for me. He tucked some hair behind my ear. "Go down to dinner, and I'll talk to you later."

Rising to my feet in time with him, I said, "I love you too. Forever, Taemin."

Because I didn't want to watch him scramble out of the window, because I was at great risk of begging him to stay for dinner with Mom and Donghae and Heechul and Lucas— my family— to once and for all drag our remaining secrets into the light, I walked away. From the vanity, I grabbed the old photograph that I had yet to return to Donghae. I don't think I closed the door behind me on my way out of the room.

I tiptoed down the stairs, quietly hoping that Taemin would follow. Or maybe I was hoping that I would return from dinner to find him waiting on my bed with open arms. In the end, I was disappointed, but I didn't feel like a fool for daring to hope.

. . .

It turned out that Lucas's description of the rivalry between Donghae and Heechul was not all that dramatized.

Sandwiched between the two men at the dining room table, Mom looked nothing like the fairytale queen I imagined she would become in her happy ending. The squabbling must have gotten under her skin, etched those lines into her forehead, weighed down on the corners of her lips, and sharpened the glare she hurled at Heechul for a (probably offensive) comment that I hadn't heard over my thoughts as I reached the foot of the stairs.

"Lei!" Lucas cheered, pumping two fists into the air, because he was no longer alone with the adults. "Where've ya been?"

I couldn't narrow or roll my eyes at Lucas. He had no way to know that I had been kissing Taemin all day. He didn't have any clue that Mom just walked in on the most intimate moment of my life.

Blushing slightly under everybody's stare— smiling only because Moms smiled first and reminded me that everything was okay— I hummed, "I was just counting the stars."

As I sat in the seat next to Lucas and across from Donghae, I sat the picture frame onto the table. I met Donghae's gentle gaze and nodded. "I believe this belongs to you."

"I believe it does!" Donghae beamed and took the photograph into his hands. "Is this a new frame?" He asked as his thumb traced along the infinity symbol.

"Yep!" I omitted the fact that I had broken the original frame on that night I peeled his poster off the wall. "I— I hope you like it." I would have bashfully dropped my gaze onto the table if Donghae were the kind of person anyone could look away from. He looks right through the soul, you know, and I was finally comfortable with that.

While he untied one of the white threads around his wrist, Donghae swore, "I love it, Lei!" He motioned for me to hold out my wrist.

I watched, smiling, as Donghae knotted the infinity bracelet for me. All I could think about was my ribbon around Taemin's wrist. All I could think was that Donghae's thread bracelet was a ribbon too. We were tied together. Soulmates. Forever.

Then, my eyes were drawn to his red thread ribbon. Mom wore-- wears— one identical to that. They were tied together too. Soulmates. Forever.

So don't fault me for disagreeing with Taemin's belief that everything was falling apart with Mom's discovery of our kiss. It was clear for anybody to see (if they knew where to look) that happiness wasn't contingent upon the idea that everything will be okay. Everything was okay. Everything is okay. Happiness had arrived.

Except it wasn't happiness. The warmth spreading through my chest and painting life-- which had gone from dull shades of gray to pale hues with Lucas to sporadic brilliant bursts of color in the night with Taemin— was named joy. I read once that joy is forever, and I believed it then, and I believe it still. So, for the first time in a long time, as I looked at Donghae and Donghae looked back at me, I was not afraid for the sun to rise. I was not anxious because the sun had risen.

"It's not fair!" Heechul shrieked, pounding his fists on the table. "I practically live here, and the girl still favors Donghae!" Staring at me so intently that I thought his eyes might pop out of his head, Heechul demanded, "How come we never exchange gifts at the table, huh? I've been crashing on that couch for however many years, and you've never given me so much as a high-five!"

I raised my hands in total sincere surrender. "Look, I'm not picking favorites. I love you both. And if you start getting annoying and demanding me to pick favorites-- well-- let's not get into this again."

Donghae pouted into his glass of water. "You mean Yesung is still your favorite?"

And Heechul groaned at the ceiling, "Why am I not surprised?"

And Lucas chirped, "You gotta love Lei's unfailing loyalty!"

As I started forking through my dinner-- a salad because a.) my mouth was entirely too sensitive to the spicy noodles everyone else could slurp without watering in the eyes, and b.) I was trying yet another diet-- Mom caught my eye. She was watching me, smiling knowingly, determined to see me blush.

Uninterested in attracting any of the boys' attention, I subtly raised my eyebrows, trusting that Mom wouldn't say anything to expose my intimate information.

"You're not busy tomorrow are you?" I swear, she winked at me and I almost choked. "I was hoping that you could meet with me tomorrow. Nothing too serious, just a quick check-in on that project you've been working on."

Obviously, there was no project. Mom was just trying to tease me a bit and ensure that I made time to tell her about the events that led to the kiss that took our breath away.

Donghae and Heechul didn't know any of that, though, and they started pestering me about the project— "Is it a new song?" Heechul asked, and Donghae guessed, "Is the agency letting you write a ballad?"— while Lucas watched me through eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Would you two hush?" Mom hissed at Donghae and Heechul. "Just let Lei keep her secrets for now!"

Mom and I laughed together and the others looked at us like we were crazy. That's okay, though. I didn't mind their stares. I was too happy that Mom saw me; I was too happy that there would be no more secrets between us come tomorrow morning. If I had it my way, I decided, there would never be another secret between us for the rest of our lives.

"I always have time for you," I told her through a grin. "Just name the hour, and I'll drop everything for you."

I had until 9 o'clock in the morning to decide what I wanted to tell Mom. Once I walked into my bedroom, I flipped on the overhead light, nabbed an empty moleskine notebook from the bookshelf, and sat at the desk I hadn't used since the long past poetry-writing days. Having grown significantly since then, I had to pull that little lever that lowers the rolling office chair.

Several of the pens that I dug out of the top drawer had gone dry, but I finally found one-- a dark almost-black blue-- that worked. I used it to map out the constellations, everything that happened before the kiss. Debuting with SuperM, giving Taemin my ribbon, the first game of Truth or Dare, crying that night in the garden, falling asleep with Taemin every night in America, the NCT Dream VLive incident, the Great Come Apart in Grandma's dining room, the roller coaster that was the Christmas party, visiting the wishing fountain where Baekhyun gave me a flower crown, kissing Taemin throughout New Year's Night and into New Year's Day.

I poured all of myself into that story, this story. On these pages, you can find me: my fears, my dreams, my hopes. I hope you love me as much as I love you. I know you do, Mom. I know you do.

By the time I lay me down to sleep, it is 4 O'Clock in the morning. Now, I wait for the sun to rise so I can share everything.

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