#IS FUCKING BATMAN

[dannyphannypack]

currently imagining a freaky friday dpxdc crossover in which one of the batkids gets kidnapped by cultists whose plan is to give the ghost king a physical anchor in this world by offering a sacrifice for the king to inhabit. however, given that danny is not fully dead, the moment the spell completes the aforementioned batkid gasps awake in a small blue bedroom with NASA posters and glow in the dark stars, and danny wakes up on the cold concrete floor of a warehouse amidst groveling cultists

#and they’re like damn! and have to figure out how to undo the spell #and [batkid] is trying so hard to blend in but what the fuck is wrong with this town #why do the presumably friends of this body keep going ‘so you gonna do something about that?’ when a green demon from hell emerges #and danny? god. one moment he’s catching up on some much needed sleep and the next he’s finding out that america’s most beloved billionare #IS FUCKING BATMAN #danny phantom #danny fenton #tayscreams #dpxdc #dcxdp #im thinking this would work best with tim or damian to be so real with you #tim is the obvious choice but damian could be sooo funny as well #might write this later we’ll see #batfam #batman #batkids

[frownyalfred]

Bruce Wayne is so much stronger than me, because if I was him I would walk straight up to Lex Luthor at a fundraiser, lean down, and whisper you want to fuck Superman so bad it makes you look stupid in his ear before flitting away with zero context.

#bonus points for superbat here #then it’s personal #like lex you wish you could fuck superman #luckily I can whenever I like #bruce wayne #batman #dc #lex luthor #thoughts

[arunneronthird]

#id say im projecting but im not sure im not drawing anime #made myself laugh with the face so i think it works #dick grayson #damian wayne #nightwing #dc comics #batman #my art #ladies. gentleman. you have eaten well. #tumblr fucked up the whole res so click on it thank u

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Somebody rescue Tim. He's seen too much.

You do NOT have permission to repost my art.

Meme reference under cut:

#dreamer doodles #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #robin #robin iii #red robin #so fucking jazzed i finally finished this old af WIP #still trying to figure out how to draw tim and bruce #i live for that one fanon bit #where tim has a habit of making increasingly ridiculous #powerpoint presentations that the batfam #are forced to sit down and listen to

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

#Jason miscalculated #seeing Batman frightened is one thing #but without the cowl he’s just Bruce #and Bruce was Jason’s DAD #it’s pretty hard to see him plead like that #and ffs Jason was just suggesting MILD torture with Tim #now stop CRYING Brucie omG #Jason is totally NOT close to tears himself no fucking way #meanwhile dick and Tim: #SCREAMING IN DISTRESS #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #robin #tim drake #bruce wayne #red hood #Nightwing #batdad #prompts #fic #titans tower au does this count? #enemy to caretaker for certain tho #or more like #enemy to son #or enemies to family? #huh #Batman #fanfiction

[bansq]

that one meme everyone is doing

#dick grayson #damian wayne #batman #batfamily #bansq art #the colors are all fucked up but oh well

[nerdpoe]

Danny is about to be kidnapped in Gotham This is not a good time.

He's studying for the SAT, he's already been kidnapped by Vlad like, four times that week and it was a fucking Tuesday, he forgot his wallet at his new apartment, locked himself out of said new apartment (he could phase through the door but that wasn't the point), he's just been informed that the grant he applied for was denied so he needs to ask his mom and dad for college funds when he'd already told them he had it covered, and just...it was shit.

It had been shit. The entire week had been awful and annoying and he was ready to either murder everyone on the planet or go find a corner to cry in for the next three days.

So when the band of wild goons working for whatever villain of the week pulled up and tried to kidnap him, he snapped.

He used them to vent.

Shouted about how terrible his day had been, how terrible his week had been, how he'd already been kidnapped by his creepy godfather who was way too into him, how college funding was shit and the grant system was rigged, and how he'd have to call a locksmith or break down the door to his own apartment if he wanted to go to bed-all of it. He unloaded all of his frustration.

The goons actually backed off.

One of them gave him an awkward side hug and told him it'd get better.

Danny wasn't paying attention to his surrounding. He doesn't realize that the whole thing was livestreamed.

So when he gets home to his apartment later that day, his door is opened for him by the vigilante Spoiler before he can even turn intangible.

She brought over BatBurger and kidnapped Bruce Wayne, Gotham's bumbling Prince, to talk about college grants.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #steph watched the livestream and felt GREAT SYMPATHY #so she actually did trick bruce into coming with her and breaking into an apartment as bruce wayne instead of batman #told him it was an important job #he clued in that it wasn't crime related after she told him to stay put so she could get food #sure fuck it he'll give this rando kid a grant #he'll pay for the whole thing education is important #literally no one looks into the whole “i've already been kidnapped four times this week” thing #cuz everyone gets kidnapped in gotham #well almost no one looks into it #jack and maddie fenton do when they see the clip #vlad learns the hard way not to piss off the people who design weapons specifically meant for you

[starspilli]

lazy

#jason todd #dc #dc comics #batman #dc fanart #red hood #batfamily #my art #idk if this looks fucked up lol. ignore it

[not-another-robin]

I think Alfred should have a cat friend

#her name is madam....... #narsposting #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #bruce thought he fucked up again #madam the cat

[lustwithoutlore]

Stephanie, clearly upset: I just spent $30 at the grocery store and all I got was eggs, mayonnaise, fruit, and pop.

Tim: Oh so prices have gone down, that’s good.

Stephanie: …. I really hate you sometimes, Tim. Really hate you.

Tim: Isn’t $30 for all that cheap?

Stephanie, calling Jason: I need an immediate extraction I’m about to kill Tim.

Jason: … And you need the extraction, why?

#steph: *cocks gun* time to eat the fucking rich #tim: thank god if I get killed I can finally rest #steph: *lowers gun* uh…. you good bro? #batfamily #batman #jason todd #red hood #batfam #tim drake #stephanie brown #batgirl #red robin #dc comics #dc comics funny #incorrect batfamily quotes

[littlefankingdom]

Talia introduced Damian to Bruce as "their second child", and now Bruce is mentally panicking because there's another one, somewhere, when this unspoken first child is Jason.

#bruce wayne #jason todd #talia al ghul #damian wayne #batman #red hood #robin #dc comics #I'm cooking over here #my ramblings #No Talia and Jason didn’t fuck she literally raised him when he was an unstable teenager #she literally raised him because she wanted to play family with Bruce #she's a fucked up mom but she wants the best for her babies

[frownyalfred]

my favorite thing in Justice League fics is when a character fucks up so badly that their only option is to go talk to Batman. And they still — still — take a moment to figure out how desperate they are before going.

Bruce has such “don’t bother me, I’m working, also why the hell would you do that” disapproving dad energy. It’s stunning.

#bruce wayne #batman #justice league #jl #dc #dc comics #when Clark tells you to go see batman you know you’re fucked #it’s like mom saying to go talk to dad #and dad is working in the basement with his tools swearing

[confused-wanderer]

Sometimes when Dicks just too tired to deal with the batfam’s shit he starts encouraging them.

================================

Surrounded by gang members and caught in the crossfire between two gangs

Jason *pulling out a gun* : I’m gonna fucking obliterate all of them

Nightwing: Go right ahead

Jason: .. you serious? I’m not playing Dick I WILL shoot every single one of them in the head

Nightwing: sure.

Jason:

Nightwing: What you want me to start? Okay.

Jason: .. Dick why the fuck do you have a gun? DICK STOP LOADING THE GUN-

================================

At a stakeout waiting for the proof before intervening

Tim: Why can’t we just force a confession instead of waiting for him to crack?

Stephanie: Ooo or threaten him with blackmail so bad he starts crying!

Duke: Guys *eyes point to Dick sitting in a corner*

Stephanie: Right.. party pooper

Nightwing:

Nightwing: Okay got it.

*heads out*

Duke: No Dick wait! We were joking!

Stephanie: drama queen just needs a minute sunshine- wait is that him approaching the target?

Tim *who’s seen this happen before* *panicking knowing what’s gonna go down* : OH SHIT ABORT-

================================

Being stuck with a very annoying henchmen who won’t stop talking

Damian: .. Can we simply shut him up?

Nightwing: whatever you wanna do

Damian *narrows eyes*: I can’t ruin my katanna for this

Nightwing: *hands him knife*

Damian:

Nightwing: And remember, the most effective place to silence someone without causing them excruciating pain and also temporarily depriving them of air is right here *points to a small area on the neck*

Damian: ..

Nightwing: .? Go on?

Damian *putting it away* : .. no..

================================

It works a 1000 times more effectively just because either all of them are bluffing or they’re scared Dick’s not.

#Damian thinks it’s a test #he doesn’t want to fail this #dick just said “fuck it god I’m testing you today #batfam headcanons #dick Grayson #nightwing #robin #Damian Wayne #red hood #Jason todd #Tim drake #red robin #spoiler #Stephanie brown #duke thomas #the signal #dc #dc batman #batfam

[fakeicecubes]

I truly think that Bruce would protect his kids with his life from the media/paparazzi. Like when he first adopted Dick all articles surrounding him and his parents death vanished. Or how he played up his Brucie performance when Damian first went to a WE gala because he’s never had to deal with the press before. And I KNOW it killed him when Jason’s death was announced but that was the one thing they couldn’t keep from the media.

One day, pre-identity reveal, Clark goes to a charity gala and asks a young Tim drake and Cassandra Cain about their opinions on the subject. A BUNCH of reporters are giving him looks but Clark can’t tell what for. Until Bruce Wayne walks up to with a stone cold expression. But Clark was perfectly polite and Tim and Cass tell Bruce they actually enjoyed expressing their opinions. The next day in the Planet their words weren’t twisted. And now whenever article comes out about the Waynes(still a rare occurrence but it’s something) it’s written by a certain Clark Kent.

#batfam #batman #superman #clark kent #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #superbat #dceu #dcu #dc comics #dc universe #fuck the paparazzi #-Brucie Wayne

[breadandblankets]

au where the bats manage to stay urban legends, sure other heroes know of them, but they help largely from the shadows, they aren't put on display and they're hardly known at All outside of the strange circle of gotham's goons

that changes when duke thomas stares batman down and says on no uncertain terms that he's working day shift

the signal is Gotham's first confirmed superhero, and he wears a bat on his chest

social media goes Wild fighting over whether the Batman existed all along or if someone finally got the tech and powers to make the bat (or a bat) Real

suddenly the world of superheros feels a lot more real to the citizens of Gotham who got used to horrible disasters being either ignored or neatly cleaned away from the public eye, now there's a guy getting thrown through windows and helping grannies cross the street and the war between gotham and metropolis gets even more cut throat

#duke thomas #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #bread talk #i think it would be very interesting if social media invents some beef between superman and a literal 16 yr old #that would be So fucking funny #to me #not to them #they have to do like pr and publicity things to be like nope we are sure friends and he's like my step foster father once removed #and u know what #tim drake #lmao #thats for me #batfamily #you know the general Thems

[gender-luster]

i think this pretty much sums it up.

i could go more in depth, but i'm not going to

#twilight #mcr #gerard way #robert pattinson #dakota johnson #the batman 2022 #and whatever the fuck else. im done tagging this