#IT MEANS both of them are gonna have a long happy life. with jaime | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hrh-selene-r · 3 years

Text

Beyond Words (4/?)

The Big Sweep

Eight years have come and gone, and it seems that everyone has moved on; Hannah has a new life with a Baby upstate, and even Ray found a bit of happiness in his life, but where does that leave Adam? Still in the same apartment with the same problems. Now, feeling adrift in the stagnation he finds himself in, Adam will try to break old habits and see if he can grow-up. Something easier said than done, that is until he meets you.

This is a bit of a post series/retcon picking up from where Adam’s story left off in Season 6 episode 8 titled “What will we do this time about Adam?”

Adam Sackler x Reader

4.5K Words

Warning: Angst, break up, Depression, cursing.

It’s been a week of secret apartment hunting and script reading for any new possible project, but his efforts finally bear fruit. ‘Fucking Ray. Thank god he came through’ Adam thought as he was one the line of his favorite deli just a few blocks away from his apartment. He shifts anxiously as he rehearses in his mind what he wants to say to Jessa when the moment comes.

‘Jesus. Fuck’ He fixes his hair fidgeting (well dreading, really) the confrontation to come. Her clinginess hasn’t stopped in the least, wanting to go out together, stay in together, have sex in their old haunts; she’s even been texting him more frequently. It’s not that he didn’t like the attention (or the sex), but Jessa’s always been aloof, and independent. If anything, Adam is the clingy one; things used to be so easy before but this change in dynamic was a bit jarring to him, to say the least.

‘She’s just making things harder’

He was a thousand miles away when he finally sat down, and in true Adam fashion, he doesn’t eat, so much as he scarfs down his meal; six eggs (four of them just the whites), and two slices of turkey bacon. It’s while drinking what’s left of his coffee that his phone alerts him of a new incoming text. Fishing it out of his pocket and saw that he had three texts; two from Luke, letting him know that he got the callback for the Jim Anderson play with the details of where it’s going to be, the other asking if he had finished reading another script that he’d sent him.

‘Yesssssss!!’ He cheered on the inside, holding in his urge to scream it out loud. Finally! At least some things were looking up.

The other text was from Jessa, making fun about one of her classmates, with a rather mean spirited snarky remark.

He scoffs a bit after reading it, her smarmy wit coming through her words. It's moments like these that remind him of their friendship, and their shared chemistry. The thought only served to churn his stomach, bringing to the forefront of his mind what he’ll tell her.

‘ “Look Jessa, I’ve been doing some introspection lately, and I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re better as friends and that I need some time apart” Too formal? No….Shit! “Jessa let’s be real, you would’ve left me in a few months anyway, so I’m doing us both a favor” ..’

“Motherfuck!” He hissed under his breath.

He looked at the time in his phone and got up. He has to get going, not wanting to be late to meet his building manager.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The building itself wasn’t too far, it was still in Brooklyn, not like he could afford anything more upscale, and even then, rents in the boroughs were outrageous; gentrification saw to that. But for all the artisanal ice cream boutiques and organic green tea, there’s a charm in Brooklyn that has captured his heart; for now, this was home. This place has seen his loves and loses and has seen him at his worst and at his best.

Adam walks up to the front steps where a woman is sitting on the stoop, seemingly waiting; looking at her phone as she does so. She looks up and sees him in the eye, causing him to look away awkwardly to avoid her thinking he was a creep or something, but her gaze was more curious than anything.

She tilts her head sideways to get a better look at him. “Adam?”

‘Do I know her? Oh fuck, have I fucked her?’ he thinks, his mid going through the roster of girls to see if he knew her from somewhere. “Yeah?” he asked cautiously after his mind came up blank. He doesn’t know her....at least he thinks he doesn’t know her.

“I’m Jaime. I’m the building manager? My dad probably told you about me when he showed you the apartment.” She explains, hopefully jogging his memory, as she gets up to face him.

“You’re Jaime?” He asks, taking a good look at her. Her hair is long and dark up, reaching up to her waist; her body, clothed in oversized jeans and a black tank top, is skinny but not too skinny as to make her look malnourished, her complexion is dark, coupled with deep brown eyes, a wide nose full glossy lips and a beauty mark above her left eyebrow.

“Yeah, were you expecting anyone else?” she smirked haughtily at him, making him to quickly reply out an answer to avoid any embarrassment.

“No! I just thought that I’d be meeting your dad.” he corrects himself and holds out his hand to shake her hand in greeting. She responded in kind, extending her hand to shake his. Her hand was adorned by wide silver rings in her fingers, her nails were decorated with an orange nail polish that was mostly chipped away.

“He got held up, asked me to do it. Legally I can, as the building manager. So, you ready to sign?”

“Uh, Yeah.” he answers her as she gestures for him to follow her, leading him up the stairs to what will be his new apartment.

Climbing three flights of stairs, standing in front of a door marked ‘3A’, Jaime places the key in the lock and opens the door before gesturing for him to go in.

The apartment itself was big, or big for New York standards, at least, It was a one bedroom apartment, complete with a separate living room, the bathroom was down the hallway, and with a small kitchen right next to what could be converted to a small dining room. It suited him. The apartment was eerily reminiscent of the one he lives in now, the most remarkable difference is that the kitchen has a separate countertop for a bar, not to mention that the living room was roomier, with a tall window providing the space with a good amount of natural light.

It was thankfully in his budget, and that’s what mattered to him the most, nevermind the fact that he basically found an affordable apartment with this much space; which to be clear, is nothing short of impossible.

The pair start to walk into the empty living room space. “You’re lucky you were able to snag this place. We haven’t gotten the word out yet, or anything about this place. So you got the exclusive first look.” Jaimie mentions as she walks to the kitchen counter, grabbing the papers and the pen.

Not knowing how to respond to her and him having his own special brand of social skills , Adam just answers with a simple “Yeah.”

“If anything you’re lucky you know Ray, being on the city council makes you meet a lot of people in the community; and stick-in-the-mud Ray knows a lot of people.” She smiles at him.

“Yeah well we’ve been friends for a while, now.” He replies to her with a polite smile back.

“Yeah. Anyway, this is the contract.” Jaime changes the direction of the conversation to the issue at hand, sliding the contract file in his direction with a pen in her hand.

“Sign here, and here….I need initials here.” She directed him as he started to sign the papers, trying to keep up with her quick directions.

Once it was finished, she handed him a stack of papers. “Okay, so this is your copy of the lease, and these are your keys. Heads up.” She dangled the keys before throwing them in his direction for him to catch, moving towards the exit to leave to the privacy of his new place. Stopping at the door, Jaimie looks back to face him as he turns around to face her.

“So you already know my name. Rent’s due on the first. If you need anything, my apartment’s on the first floor; apartment ‘1B’. If you need me but I’m not in, just slip a note under my door. ‘Kay? Any questions?”

“Uh, nope.”

“Then it’s a pleasure to meet you Adam Sackler. Welcome to the building.” With that she gave him a small smirk and waved goodbye, shutting the door behind her on her way out; leaving him alone with his thoughts in his new apartment.

It’s official now, he can’t put it off anymore. He’s following the advice Ray gave him; hell, even Josh said it. Here, in the emptiness of his new space, in the bright white light of day, he finally sees what he’s been avoiding for so long.

He loved her, he cared for her, but was he ever in love with her?

He was just as quick to get back to her as soon as he realized that things with Hannah wouldn't work out. He quickly left Jessa once he found out that Hannah was pregnant and….’I don’t know.’ ‘Maybe I’m with her ‘cause it’s easy...I’m so fucked up!’ Adam furiously scrubbed his face with both hands, breathing deeply and exhaling through his nostrils.

Alone, in the middle of the empty apartment, bathed in the light from the windows, he knew. It was just like that time; he knew what he had to do.

It was time to rip the band-aid off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later in the day, after doing a few errands he had to do for the new place, Adam was standing outside of his (old?) apartment building. Looking at the window of the apartment, he takes a deep breath, gathering his bravery to face the situation.

He makes the journey up the stairs, and opens the door. The apartment is empty, judging by the hour, Jessa’s probably still in class. Taking advantage of the circumstances, he starts packing up his things; his mind making a list of the things to take with him .

‘My clothes, books. It's a good thing I don’t have a lot of stuff. I can buy food, and I already got a bed taken care of. I’m gonna have to come back for my work out stuff, my weights and the bench at least.’

Little by little Adam starts to take his favorite things, taking his time to consider what to leave behind. A practice he’s by now well-used to.

The front doors opens and in walks Jessa, her hair in a bun, wearing a loose red tee shirt with denim blue high waisted jeans, the bags in her hand suggest she bought something.

“Hey you in?!” Her voice rings through the small apartment, reaching Adam’s ears, causing him to freeze, inwardly flinching in anticipation of what’s to come. ‘Time to face the fucking music. *sigh*’ He moves out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to find her putting things away on the fridge.

“Heeeeeey.”

“I brought some groceries since the fridge was empty.” she told him casually, her head buried inside the refrigerator as she took things from the bag and placed them inside.

“You have a good day?” His stance is awkward, his hands behind his back as he debated on how to best start the conversation; break it to her while hoping to god that she takes it well.

“Not bad, Nancy is a fucking cunt, but that’s just her. Either way…” Jessa approaches him, pulling him for a kiss, smiling as she does so “She’s just irritates me, so...how was your day?” Her hands run through the familiar course of his chest sweetly. A small shrug moved his shoulders nonchalantly as he looked at her. Was this really it? “It was okay, I did a few errands.”

Hearing this her brow furrowed a bit, looking into his eyes as he stared at her. “You did errands, what errands? Didn’t you have an audition?”

“Yeah, look can we talk?” He asks as he nervously fidgets, gesturing for them to sit down on the couch. If there’s something that can be said about Adam is that he’s as subtle as a hammer.

Sitting on the coffee table in front of her, he nervously passes a hand through his hair, trying to find a way to get what he needed to say out. Jessa looked at him curiously, waiting for him to talk but finding herself growing impatient as the seconds passed.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” She urges calmly.

Adam’s forehead wrinkled in concentration, both of his hands pressed against his face as his fingers covered his eyes. “This isn’t something that I wanna have to tell you. I know this isn’t fair to you, especially after the whole thing with Hannah.”

“I’ve been doing some introspection, or whatever, and um...I’ve been going to meetings…”

“You’ve been going to meetings?” She interrupted, concern etched on her her face as her brows lifted before furrowing in thought.

“Yeah.”

“Well. Have you been drinking?”

“No!” He answered urgently. “I just…” Adam’s lips tense into an outstretched line for a brief moment while he finds a way to verbalize his thoughts.

“I’ve been going to meetings and taking time to think….And…” A few seconds pass. “Fuck” he whispered under his breath in a sigh. “And I’ve come to the conclusion that I; that WE..need time apart.” His eyes searched hers for any indication of understanding or sympathy, but they found nothing. Her gaze was blank as she was deep in thought as he spoke. “ Look, this has nothing to do with Hannah. Whatever she and I had. It’s over, it’s finished.” His baritone voice is soft and calm as he tries to sound as serious as possible. In his mind he is an adult trying to have a serious conversation with his partner. Gone is the lovable boyish demeanor he usually carried; replaced with a grim faced man as he leans over to look at her. His elbows rest on his knees and clasps his hands together, giving away his anxiety.

“I never told you how sorry I am for that...and I hurt you. It’s just that, I don’t know if it was filming the movie or if it was just life in fuckin’ general, but I was reminded of what Hannah and I had. I felt it, so I felt that there was too much history there to not try and set things right. To help her, and be there for her.” The sound of his voice reverberated through the small apartment as he looked at the floor. “ But we’re too different now and want different things. And...Now I feel like I need some space to figure shit out alone. Not just for me, because I really do care about you, Jessa.”

Jessa looks at the ground in silence, not wanting to look at him in the eyes and see her worst nightmare.

“I’m gonna be moving out, take the time to focus on my life. You can stay here, keep most of the stuff. I’ll still pay for your classes. I meant what I said.”

Jessa nods slowly, pursing her lips while processing his words.

“Okay...if that’s how you feel.” Her tone is a bit above a whisper, feigning understanding in her short words. She shrugs her shoulders and crosses her legs on the couch with a nonchalant expression. Like everything else, nothing fazes her.

Adam scoffs at her response, unable to believe how she can be so calm while he was essentially breaking up with her. No, he saw what this was. “ Oh, come the fuck on Jessa, this is just like last time. Do you seriously not give a fuck? I know you feel something. Get angry; hit me, throw something at me. For fuck’s sake, it isn’t good to bottle everything in...Just tell me how you feel.”

A deep sigh went through her nose, her eyes showed that something was beneath the surface as she shakes her head slightly and looks at him. “What do you want me to say? You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re communicating; and if this is how you feel, then there’s no point in fighting against it.”

‘Un-fucking-believable.’ Adam moves his left hand towards his cheek, lightly scratching at the hairs in his stubble. “That doesn’t mean that you’re not feeling anything; that your feelings aren’t valid.” He lets out a breath of frustration as he realizes that she put up her walls to him and she won’t budge. ‘The hitting and screaming would’ve been better.’ “Fine.”

Keeping with her attitude, Jessa clicks her tongue and leans back lazily before asking the dreaded question. “So when do you move out.”

“I was thinking about leaving today.”

“Oh...so you have a place to stay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. My stuff’s mostly packed, and I’ll come back for the rest later...But I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“Adam, stop worrying! You’ve done nothing wrong. If you feel you have to do this; you gotta do what you gotta do.” A sardonic smile graces her face. She makes everything sound so simple; black and white.

He gently grabs her tattooed wrist in his large hand and looks deeply into her green eyes, trying to find a way to get through to her, to really talk to her.

“Hey..I still care about you. okay?” He told her gently, almost as if she were a child.

“Yeah.” Her response was short and curt.

Her walls remain up; impenetrable in their might as she refuses to show him, to show the world an ounce of vulnerability. A defense mechanism that took years in perfecting. An aloof facade she shows the world.

Jessa moves to get up, leaving him alone. Adam’s well aware that this was just a front, Jessa hasn’t changed,. He couldn’t tell how bad it was, but he’s doing this for her too. He knew it’d be worse if he stayed.

No other words were said as she sat crossed legged in their bed, smoking a cigarette while he finished packing. In the back of her mind she wonders if this is what being in a relationship is really like; being off and on, having that person come in and out of your life….It’s what her father did. ‘No’ She knows that’s not true. She’s seen people get married, have families and be happy. And besides, Adam’s not remotely like her father, he’s not like the previous men in her life. He’s different.

She moves to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass or orange juice, pretending that nothing is wrong, desperately trying to ignore his presence. She found it unbearable to watch as he left her for a second time. This time she’s more aware of her feelings for him, and she dreads what will become of them, of her while watching Adam go in and out of the apartment; getting his things downstairs.

He tried to be as quick as possible; throwing this mindlessly into garbage bags, making sure he took only what was important to him.

The hardest part about breaking up is trying to leave and stay on good terms. And he’s attempting to do just that. He figured that if he could do it with Hannah, maybe it was possible with Jessa.

Adam reached into his pocket and fished out his keys, he placed them on the counter beside the sink.

“You take care of yourself, okay?” He said awkwardly, looking at her one last time. His mouth is etched in a pout and his eyes are sullen at her lack of reply, but he still waits a few seconds for her, almost as if he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t even look at him as he made his way out of the apartment.

Closing the door behind him, Adam takes a moment to just stand there, his mouth still set in a pout, his brows furrowed as he feels the weight of what’s happened.

Both lovers stand on either side of the closed door, each hoping that the other would take a step forward to open the door; to go back to the other, but neither one does. Adam stays there, feeling the guilt over what he’s done slowly spread; lamenting not just the loss of his lover, but the loss of his best friend.

‘It had to be done. There’s no point in staying anymore.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inside of the apartment, Jessa just stood there, staring at the door; willing him to come back to her. Her face morphs from boredom to one of pure heartbreak. Her eyes start to water as her breathing changes to an erratic pace.

In the cold emptiness surrounding her, she couldn’t pretend anymore. Her mask vanishes, revealing the abandoned girl underneath, watching as her friend walked out of their home and her life.

This time she can’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt; can’t deny the devastation she feels as her world blurs. She places the palm of her hands over her eyes as the tears overflow.

‘He’s done this before, and he came back; he’ll do it again.’ She reasons in her desperation, clinging to the idea that Adam will be back, that this is just a pattern. Because the alternative would be to accept that he left her for good.

‘Fucking Hannah!’ As she cries her thoughts become more chaotic. ‘Don’t go. Don’t do this to me.’ Her inner voice cries as she slides slowly towards the floor, bringing her knees towards her chest.

‘This is just how he is.’ She reasoned, still expecting him to come back, her mind repeating his last words over and over. He did say he cared about her, he still loved her; but as she continued to reason his return, a small part of her feared she was just clinging to an empty promise, that she was stupidly holding on to hope...and that he really did leave her.

The silence inside the apartment is maddening, the space is cold; isolated from the world filled only with her small cries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He should be used to moving, considering how often he did in the past eight years, but no, it was always a bitch. And the worst part about it? Doing it because of a break up. To say that it was awkward was an understatement, but he needed to end things well off with Jessa. God knows he’s ran into people from his past before enough times to know better. New York may be populated by millions of people, but it can turn into a very small place, when Karma feels like it. It’d be worse if he didn’t do it this way, he’s sure of it.

After getting the last of his things upstairs, he starts unpacking bit by bit. He doesn’t have a refrigerator yet, or a bed for that matter; those come in tomorrow, but Adam has been through worse, and one day without furniture hardly phases him. That being said sleeping on the floor isn’t something he’s looking forward to. Plus, this is what friends are for isn’t it? ...to crash on their couch when needed?

Adam takes his phone out, scrolling through the few contacts saved in it. He could ask Ray; it wouldn’t be the first time he’d stay at his place, especially after a breakup. He could also ask Josh, he had offered his couch to let him crash before; maybe the offer’s still on the table.

‘Screw it.’

He hits on Josh’s contact and places the device next to his ear, waiting for a response on the other side of the line.

“Hey.” Josh’s deep voice sounds through the phone’s speaker.

“ Heeeey...listen, I got a favor to ask, if it’s not too much trouble, or whatever.” Adam started nervously, scratching his head as he talked.

“Yeah, man. Shoot.”

“I broke up with Jessa.” He blurted out. “I moved out.”

There was a slight silence on the line before Josh responded. “Well, shit. Do you need a place to stay? Until you find something?”

“I already got a place. I just need a place to crash until I can get the bed and fridge brought in here.”

“ Well you’re in luck, then. I’m actually on my way back from work. I gotta stop to pick up a few things and then I’m headed home.” Josh explained in his easy-going tone; like nothing bothers him at the moment. “ I’ll let Vanessa know; she’s coming over tonight.”

Adam hesitated “ I don’t wanna shit on your plans.”

“ Oh, fuck off. You’re not. Dude, trust me, Ness loves you. She’d be pissed if I didn’t help out. My sofa es su casa.”

Even though Josh can’t see him, Adam smiles at his friend’s words; his teeth peeking out from his lips and the corners of his eyes wrinkle as he does so. “ Yeah, okay. Just let me know when you’re at home. Text me or whatever.”

“You got it. Tonight we’re eating homemade Mexican food.”

“Yeah, Thanks.”

“Alright, see ya.”

With that, Adam hung up, comforted in the knowledge that he’ll be able to sleep in a comfortable, and most importantly cushioned, tonight. At least now he had a place to call his, and by pure stroke of luck, the apartment’s rent wasn’t as high as it could be. He’ll furnish it, little by little. He lives in New York, so someone’s bound to not want a couch somewhere. That leaves the matter of his kitchen. He’d have to buy glasses, plates and food, to at least have the very basics.

‘A bookshelf in the living room. I’ll put my bench in the bedroom...clothes go in the closet, I gotta get a chest or something with drawers..’

He turns to pick up the trash bags storing his clothes, taking them through the small hallway towards his bedroom closet. He’d have to do laundry before the end of the week, he reminded himself as he realized that he was in such a rush to pack everything that he didn’t think that some of his shirts in the bag used to be strewn across the floor of the apartment and stank of sweat.

He spent the next few hours doing what he can, organizing his clothes between what’s clean and what was to be laundered, he took his time to make sure everything was arranged to his liking; a far cry from how he was living 8 years ago. Back when he was an aimless mess living in an apartment cluttered with tools and random pieces of reclaimed wood; when he would rather fuck around with no strings attached than be emotionally vulnerable with someone.

To Adam, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Gone was the aloof fuckboy with an awkward haircut and no direction. Now in his place stands a more empathetic and responsible man.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard his phone come to life, sounding an alert to let him know he had just received a text and prompting him to look for it. Reaching for his back pocket, he fishes out his phone to see a message from Josh came in saying ‘Just got in.’ on the lit up screen. He’d finish unpacking later; now he was hungry, and Mexican seemed like just the thing…

——————————————————

Hey guys, I’m baaaaack!!!! :D

2020 has been a hell of a year, but I still wanted to end it on a good note. So here we have a short but sweet chapter where Adam wants to leave Jessa to focus on himself, but he knows how fragile and lonely she can be and tries to do it gently....Does it work? We'll have to find out. Safe to say, Jessa will be a reoccurring guest star on this show, so we’ll see how Adam handles this and how he manages to move on. So, leave a comment and let me know what y’all think.

Mucho Love and and a happy New year!!😊

Xoxo Selene R

Tag list for some friends (let me know if you’d like to be added)

@kowalskibro-adamdriverblog @tsarinastorm @alexdaleks @thrivingamidstchaos @klauscarolove @misskitred @ah-callie @sarcasticbitch @jynz-andtonic @oh-adam @commanderbensolo @kylos-wren @adamsnackler @patersonn-kylo @adamsnacc-kler @ellelaconiwrites @that-only-exists-in-my-mind @ktellmeastory @fallinallinmendes @noocturnalchild

#Beyond Words #adam sackler #girls hbo #adam sackler fanfiction #adam sackler x reader #adam sackler/reader #adam sackler/you #adam sackler x you #reader insert #adam/jessa #adam/reader #adam driver #readerchan #fem reader #fix it fic #fix it #girls fanfiction #retcon #post series

39 notes · View notes

quillsareswords · 4 years

Text

Breathing Room

Damian Wayne

Of course the little dog here is basically my sweet baby girl Rogue with a different name (Baby/Babe because I'm sure all of you at home have dogs you'd like to substitute names for), who sends all her love and puppy kisses to all of you! Ugh this was fun to write. So goddamn fluffy I could call Build-a-Bear a competitor.

Reader is a Titan.

Requested:

Prompt List // Masterlist (in bio)

"If I die, I'm leaving my dog to you."

Damian turns halfway to give you a suspicious glance over his shoulder. Then, he turns back to the fire place, where he's successfully stoking the flames currently living there.

The animal in question is the next victim of his scrutiny, laying perfectly peacefully on the corner of your blanket that's been left unused on the couch next to you. He points, you nod, he rolls his eyes.

"Awe! What? You wouldn't take my poor baby girl in?" You're borderline incredulous. "Did you hear that Baby? He doesn't love you!"

He scoffs, then pushes himself to his feet and joins you on the couch once more. The little dog lifts her head to look at Damian, almost accusingly.

You pet her gently. "Don't mind him, Baby, he's just jealous because I love you more," you soothe, babytalking the eight pound pooch like the spoiled princess she is.

"Firstly, you aren't going to die, it's only a snow storm," he argues, "and secondly, even if something were to happen, of course I'd take in your large rat."

You gasp and lightly slap his chest. "Damian Wayne!" you shrill. He chuckles loudly. "You take that back right now! Apologize!"

He rolls his eyes, knowing that if he doesn't, you'd probably give his spot on the bed to Titus, who's listening to the entire exchange from the giant pillow on the floor. He reaches across you, lays a hand on her little head, and says clearly, "Baby, I am sorry for calling you a rat. You are clearly small not-dog."

You sigh in exasperation and defeat. He laughs, though it's obvious he's trying not to and failing miserably. "What am I going to do with you, you scoundrel?"

His arm lays across your shoulders as you shiver for the second time in the last five minutes. "Well, you can first let me chose what movie we watch since I started the fire for you."

You can't help snuggling closer to him. "Firstly," you mock, "I could have started the fire myself. Secondly, I'll let you pick the movie if you let me pick the genre."

"Deal," he relents.

Two comedies and a horror film later, you hear the front door downstairs unlock, with a roaring chorus of arguing voices behind it.

When Kori and Dick invited you and Damian to a Titans Winter Vacation, you had been a little skeptical. You hadn't been a Titan for very long, and you weren't as familiar as you'd like to be with any of them.

However, you'd known Damian for years, and he insisted it wouldn't be as bad as you thought. He wasn't entirely keen on the idea either, but you'd eventually agreed that it'd be nice.

They'd rented a cabin up in the mountains. It was three stories, with six bedrooms, five bathrooms, two living rooms, a home theater, and a game room. You especially loved the balconies on every level. That provided a truly glorious view of the Smoky Mountains.

Though, when you heard it was six bedrooms, you knew that meant sharing a room. You only really slept alright by yourself or with Damian, so it concerned you that you'd most likely be sharing a bunk bed with Raven, as you and Damian were seventeen. But, because Dick knew you wouldn't be doing anything more than cuddling, he was more than happy to let you and Damian share a queen-size in the loft, directly above Garfield and Jaime's.

To sweeten the deal even further, everyone was in perfect agreement that you should definitely bring your dog. She was very sweet and quiet, and perfectly mannered. You didn't worry about taking her anywhere. It made you feel even better that Damian was taking Titus.

So here you are now, tucked into Damian's side on a plush plaid couch in the loft, Baby curled up next to you and Titus sprawled at your feet, listening to Gar and Raven and Cyborg come shivering in through the front door.

"Holy hell, it's cold as balls!" Gar shouted, kicking off his boots at the door. You were about to call down to ask how town was, but he was already sprinting up the spiral staircase.

Damian sighed, though only loudly enough for you to hear. He thought of the loft in it's entirety as yours, even though the bedroom was an entirely separate room, kept private by a thick door.

Garfield paused by the couch to lean over and pet Babe, which she gladly accepted, before zipping over to the firepalce to warm up.

"How was town?" you ask. Damian grabs the remote and backs out of the movie, which was already rolling credits.

"Eh, it was okay. Grocery store was neat, though. Had a candy section that was lit."

You laugh softly. "Get all the groceries?"

He nods. "Yeah, but their produce section was so confusing."

"Are you sure you aren't just dull?" Damian quips. You roll your eyes and flick his ear as you sit up. "Hey!" he chirps.

"Ha!" Garfield shouts and points boldly, though he looks as though he's about to hurdle the railing behind you. "Damian got in trouble!"

Damian, the tough, mature man he is, flings a pillow toward the green boy with as much force as he can while slouched against the couch back.

"Watch the fire, you dufus," you scold, laughing, as you slide toward the steps with Baby at your heels.

"Ha ha! You got in trouble agaaiinn!" Garfield sings. Then he shrieks, and then there's a green bird diving over the wooden railing and Damian's shouting something that has you scooping up Baby and hustling down the stairs to stay out of his way.

• • •

Your bedroom is dark, and because you both like the curtains pulled away from the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the drop of the mountain your cabin is perched over, it is quite cold.

Too cold for your liking, even pressed against Damian's back and Babe curled into the small of yours.

It's been fifteen minutes of listening to Bob's Burgers play on the television over your shared dresser and the collective body heat still isn't enough. So, in a desperate attempt to chase the chill off, you half unwind your arms from his waist, and slide them under the hem of his tee shirt to press them flat against his side and his back.

While you're sighing in relief, he's jumping and sucking in a breath of absolute shock. He all but gasps, "What are you doing with your ice cold hands up my shirt?"

You almost laugh at the tone of absolute offence he's using. "I'm cold! We can't all keep the same core temperature as the sun, Wayne."

"Well Jesus, you could have at least warned me," he grumbles, rolling in your hold to face you.

You fall asleep pretty quickly now, wrapped up in his arms, legs tangled with yours beneath a heavy quilt.

• • •

You're always the first ones up. Well, not always, but for the past four days that you've been on the trip, you both have. It's usually Damian, and only Damian, but you aren't far behind once your main source of heat leaves you alone in bed with sunlight beaming into the room.

You, Baby, and Titus all follow him down the spiral staircase and through the main common room, dining room, and the intermediate stretch between the two staircases and two bedroom doors.

He turns on the coffee pot for the rest of the team while you start the kettle and set out tea bags and mugs for the two of you. While he's still fiddling with the settlings on the machine, you let the dogs out to the small fenced yard off to the side of the huge cabin.

The machine spurs to life just as you're lifting yourself up onto the countertop of the kitchen island. "Are you gonna make pancakes and eggs?" You keep your voice low, considerate of Raven in the room on the left and Jamie and Garfield in the room on the right, all still sleeping.

"I wasn't planning to," he answers, leaning against the counter by the gas stove, where the steel kettle is still heating up.

"But you promised. . ." You just out your bottom lip and tilt your head just a little, soft eyes oh so slowly grinding away at that steel cover he keeps locked around his heart.

After exactly forty two seconds, he caves in. "Did the Happy Bunch even get the ingredients yesterday?"

Your sweet begging facade switches on a dime, now housing a devious glint in your eyes. "Of course they did, I put it on the list."

He sighs, loudly. He lets the dogs in before he goes around the kitchen, gathering all things necessary for the pancake mix you love so much.

It's twenty minutes later when Kori and Dick are opening the basement door and emerging from the hall downstairs, Kori's hair just as unkept as every morning and Dick's shirt just as wrinkly as the night before.

"Sometimes I think you only love me for my pancakes," Damian chides playfully, having yet to associate the creaking hinges with the basement door.

"I won't deny it," you laugh, grinning down at the bowl you're stirring with more dedication than is probably necessary.

"Damian, I didn't know you cook," Kori states, with enough surprise that you're a little taken aback.

He turns to look at her over his shoulder, still dicing strawberries without looking and making your nerves twitch while he does it. "Only occasionally."

"Hey hey, watch what you're doing, boy," you sound a little too much like someone's grandmother, but you're really a little aghast that he hasn't steeled himself yet.

Damian reserves a certain part of himself around most people. It's a part of him you're allowed to bask in only after years of assurance and affection. You wouldn't be so surprised if it was only shown to Dick, but it was Kori he was speaking to, eyes still a little glittery and smile still lopsided and prominent.

In a moment of adoration and maybe a little pride in him, you hum, "Only for me, of course."

To yours and even Kori's awe, he chuckles. "Only when you force me, you mean."

You recover faster than she does, and cover yourself with a laugh. "I wouldn't call you promising me strawberry-blackberry pancakes forcing you, but if you wanna try and save a little face . . ."

Kori turns to Dick, with a look on her face that is silently asking if he's seen the same thing. His eyes flit between her, you, and his youngest brother, before they settle on you. He seems a little less jarred.

"Gezz, what'd you do, (Y/N)? Drug him in his sleep?"

With Garfield's arrival, Damian's smile fades off and he resumes quickly dicing strawberries on a wooden cutting board.

You mumble into your batter, "I'm starting to wonder."

• • •

At 11:15 in the morning on the sixth day, a war commences.

While you and Damian decide to hide out the still-raging snowstorm in your cozy little loft with your faithful hounds, half the team is out in the snow, hurling handfuls of snow that vaguely resemble spheres at one another from behind artificial snowbanks.

Though eventually, you decide the total war out in the front yard is far more entertaining than anything on his Hulu or Disney+. So, you pop a bowl of popcorn and brew your third batch of tea, and sit backward on the couch to watch out the massive windows that take up most of the front wall of the common room.

Over the porch roof, you can watch all the atrocities of battle play out from the safe warmth of your loft together.

Though, some time around three, Damian reminds you that you have plans to drive into town to explore, and asks if you'd rather stay and finish the battle.

An hour later, you and Damian stand at the front door, dressed to brave the weather, having bid your dogs goodbye as you left them in the warm safety of your bedroom.

Damian's hand is on the doorknob, but he seems hesitant. "Are you ready?"

You flip up your hood and pull your scarf up over your nose. "Yes."

He hauls the door open, and with your hand in his, you quickly cross the porch, jump the steps, and make it halfway around to the driveway, when you hear somebody shout, "Civilians! Open fire on civilians, they're both wicked!"

Damian spins on his heel to threaten the entire group, but you beat him to it when you see Jamie, snowclod wound up, aimed right at you.

Silence falls over the battlefield like the snow still drifting down at an alarming rate.

You point a sharp finger at him. "If you do this, I will never forgive you," you declare lowly. "I swear to every god in existence you'll wake up with your head sewn to the carpet."

He stops. Narrows his eyes. "You're bluffing."

"Am I?"

A moment's debate. You can image the Scarab waving you off with we can take her. But oh, that thing has never seen you with a grudge.

He swivels on his feet and hurls it at Raven, who's been hiding behind the snow that'd been shoveled off the sidewalk that morning.

You take Damian's hand again and make a break for his car.

After the drive to Downtown Gatlinburg and three or four hours spent roaming the streets, you're already talking about living there. In all honesty, he isn't so opposed to the idea of buying a home in the area. You seem so in your element here, and the town and the scenery surrounding you is so breathtaking.

But you know you'd never be able to drag him out of Gotham. Perhaps a vacation home, or maybe retirement.

You decide to stop in to a little cafe in a place called The Village, which is a collection of shops surrounding a lovely courtyard off the main stretch of Downtown.

It's crowed inside, so you decide to stand out by the fountain while you sip your steaming drinks and converse about the little shops you liked best so far. You are particularly fond of a candy shop, and he would very much like to check out a blade shop a block or so down the way.

Your teeth chatter as you talk about wanting a souvenir, something small to keep on a shelf, and finish the rest of your hot chocolate.

"Are you that cold?" his question is simple enough, but his voice is so soft and so drenched in concern it catches you off guard.

You laugh lightly. "I'm okay, just might need another hot chocolate before we set off again," you shrug, jamming your hand into your pocket has he takes the paper cup from you and nods.

"Well, I'm sure that can be arranged." He smiles.

There's something in his eyes, though. It's subtle, in the little wrinkles between his eyebrows, and the redness of his nose and his cheeks. As much as you like the way it looks on his honey crisp complection, it's starting to worry you. Not the blush he gets from the cold's kiss, but the slightly out of character openness he's been exhibiting. You like to think that maybe he's growing out of hiding his louder emotions, for his own sake, but you can't take the risk that it's something else.

He returns to you with an offering of mint hot chocolate. He smiles again when he greets you, and the pair of you set off back toward the sidewalk do a little shopping.

"Hey, Dame?"

"Hm?"

You wind your arm around his elbow with your free hand. "Everything okay with you?"

He turns his full attention on you. "Yes, of course. Why do you ask?"

You take a sip out of your hot chocolate. "I don't know, you've just been acting a little differently the last few days." His eyebrows crease in a worried way, and you get the sense he's disappointed. "In a good way, I mean," you correct yourself quickly, "I just want to be sure it isn't for a bad reason."

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. You turn out onto the sidewalk, and start making your way farther up the street. "No, there isn't anything wrong," he assures. "I can't exactly explain it, which I'm not entirely okay with, but it's been. . . nice, this trip. The land is beautiful, the air is much cleaner than in Gotham, the people here are nice." He turns to face you again. "And you seem a lot more comfortable with the Titans. I'm glad; I'd feared you wouldn't bond with them at all, truthfully, and they're all far more bearable with you around."

You nod as he speaks, eyes jumping past him to the signs on the building fronts every once in a while. There's something he isn't saying, and you know it.

"And. . ." He sighs. "And you."

You pass him a quizzically quirked brow.

His voice lowers and he lays a hand over yours on his arm. "I love you so much, (Y/N). I can't even find the right words anymore."

Your eyes lock with his and you stop walking. Your lips part because your jaw goes a little slack, and your wide eyes reflect all the neon colors of the signs in the window on your right.

It isn't the first time he says he loves you. And you know it won't be the last, but he hardly ever says it so freely. It always behind closed doors in the softest moments, when you're both vulnerable or so drunk on love for one another neither of you can think straight.

You can't remember the last time he's been so open about in in front of anyone else, and it only ripens your concern.

You pull him closer, eyebrows slanting together. "Damian, I'm serious, are you okay?"

Now he's the one with one eyebrow reaching for answers. "Pardon?"

"I'm sorry," you blurt, "you know I love you from here clear to Alpha Centauri but you're really starting to worry me."

He laughs at that. Then, his eyes are as soft as his smile, and his hands smooth down the sides of your arms before they rest on your forearms. "(Y/N), I promise you there is nothing wrong with me now that hasn't been for the past seven years. Am I not allowed to let once in a little while, and allow myself a little breathing time?"

You hadn't realized you were so tense until you relax under his touch with the assurance. "Of course you are," you reply after a pause. You take one hand off your hot chocolate to rest it on his chest, coincidentally over his heart. "I just worry sometimes. I don't want anything to happen to you, Dame."

"I know," he says. He gingerly takes the paper cup from you and sets it on the bench you hadn't noticed before. He pulls you into his arms, enveloping you in a warmth like sunshine and a scent that's too particular to Damian Wayne to be mistaken. Your arms wind inside his open coat to the hoodie he's wearing underneath.

A long moment passes in relative silence. Your eyes are closed, ears perked to the drifting sounds of uncaring passersby and the rumbling of passing cars.

"I really want to slip my hands under your shirt right now," you mumble into his shoulder. "But if you tell me not to, I won't."

He grunts.

And for a moment, you ponder weather or not that was a denial. You silently make your choice and close your eyes again.

He leaps under your touch. "Damn it, (Y/N)!"

#damian wayne blurb #damian wayne headcannon #damian wayne imagine #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne #teen titan reader

611 notes · View notes

trillian-anders · 4 years

Text

chambers - x

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: violence, angst, slow burn

word count: 3684

Description: post-endgame. Steve Rogers has passed away from old age. The one remarkable thing is that no one knew his heart would be in the condition it was. He was able to save one more life. After receiving his heart, strange things start happening. Including something that would change your life forever. (Inspired by the Netflix series of the same name.)

Were you being naive? Maybe.

You feet pounded against the pavement, head finally going clear for the first time since yesterday. The clouds are finally parting. You kissed Eric. And you liked it, but Steve had to be interfering. The fluttering in your chest wasn’t there. Maybe. Or maybe you didn’t like him as much as you thought you did? You couldn’t figure it out.

He was enamored by you though, he made it clear when you’d shared dinner in your room, wrapped under his arm. “I really like you,” He said. So why did it not make you happy?

Something was wrong.

With you? Maybe. With him? You weren’t sure. He was a sweet guy, charming, funny, handsome. But Steve had to be interfering. Steve’s emotions had to be interfering. Is that why you couldn’t make the connection?

You lapped Eric again. He was laughing, calling after you saying you should go to the Olympics. You didn’t think it was funny.

Bucky met your pace, but he didn’t speak, choosing instead to run alongside you. Silently. Your stomach soured. It was like you cheated on him almost, but you didn’t. Technically if you really think about it, Steve did. Why the fuck did you call him Jaime? Because you thought that would make him soft for you? Because you thought then he would give in?

Two steps forward and one step back. He’d just gotten friendly with you. And you’d ruined it. But maybe this was his olive branch. Maybe you should say you’re sorry. Maybe you should…

“Slow down.” His hand met your arm, halting your movements, your legs shaking. You pushed yourself too far. You breathed heavily, putting your hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath. “Did you not learn anything the last time?” You glared up at him. He rested his hands on his hips, looking out across the field where the agents were beginning warm ups. Eric was among them. “Look, maybe I was a little harsh on you last night.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes before crossing his arms across his broad chest. “You just… caught me off guard.”

“I didn’t mean to say that,” You sighed, standing to your full height, “It just came out.” He nods,

“I know.” The two of you stare at each other for a moment before he continues, “I know you can’t help it, Sam and Bruce… they tell me all the time. It’s just…”

“Hard.” You shift from foot to foot awkwardly, “I know.” He sighed heavily,

“If you want to learn some moves,” He started, “Just defensive, and just in case, I’ll be willing to practice with you. But only because I don’t want you to have to rely on instinct and only because Zemo is a threat, understood?” You nodded rapidly, standing a little straighter. “This doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to send you in as bait and this doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to have you actually fight anyone.”

“Of course,” You agreed, “Sure.” This was a step, and hopefully one that wouldn’t set you too far back.

Wanda stirred her tea, looking over the video. Again and again. Trying to figure out where Zemo had recorded it. There was a window behind him, high off the ground, so it had to be a warehouse. But where?

“How’s it going?” Sam entered the kitchen, popping a k-cup into the keurig.

“There’s no identifying markers, but we could probably enhance the background audio enough to hear if there are cars going by or--”

“How are you doing?” Sam pulled a mug from the cabinet, “Is what I was really asking.” Wanda nodded, shutting the laptop.

“I’m okay,” She hugged herself, “Just worried.”

“They don’t have tesseract power anymore.” Sam reasoned, “And in this universe the infinity stones no longer exist. He destroyed them.” Thanos, Thanos destroyed them.

“But what about the other ones?” She asked, “Steve opened an alternate universe when he stayed, what if in his Thanos never destroyed them?” Sam set his mug down heavily, hands bracing the counter.

“Is this why you can’t sleep at night?” Yes. She shook her head, leaning back in her seat.

“I’m just saying, the possibility is there.”

“Potentially, yes.” Sam took a sip of his coffee. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin to wrap my head around that.”

“Goodmorning,” You called cheerfully entering the kitchen, Bucky passing you to grab a water bottle from the fridge. Wanda smiled,

“How did you sleep?” She asked, holding a hand out to you. You walked into it, letting her pull you into her side.

“I slept alright,” You shrugged, looking at Sam.

“How are you guys?” Sam began making breakfast, something he liked to do.

“Cooking distracts me from other things,” He told you once, “It helps me relax.” It helped that Bucky and Peter had the appetite they did because the amount of food that Sam would cook could feed half the compound.

“We’re going to have a meeting later,” Sam said to you, “You should be there.” Bucky’s spoon clanked against the side of his bowl,

“Is it really necessary?” He asked, glaring at his friend, “What happened to keeping her in the dark?”

“Hasn’t worked out very well,” Wanda mused. “Steve’s passwords are still in the system.” Sam and Bucky both looked at you as you sank down a little in your chair, turning to glare at Wanda. “I think it’s funny that neither of you had even thought about it.”

“How long have you been in the system?” Sam asked, clearing some dishes off the kitchen island.

You shrugged, picking at a string attached to your shirt. “Since I found out who it was.” You glanced at Bucky, then turned your attention back to Sam, “I know what Zemo is capable of with a year of planning, but he may have been planning this for… almost ten years?” You stood to help him clean up, placing your bowl and cup in the dishwasher. “There has to be something deeper than just turning myself over so he can harvest a little blood. I doubt it’s as simple as that.” Sam agreed.

“We’ll talk about this more in the meeting later,” Bucky stood from the stool, “Are you ready?” He asked you.

“Ready for what?” Wanda stood as well, circling the island.

You grinned, “He’s gonna show me some moves.”

Your back hit the mat and you groaned. Steve was not helping today, but today wasn’t also life or death like the other instances had seemed to be. No fight or flight instinct to hone in on.

“Which is good,” Bucky claimed, “Because you can't rely on that.” He held his hand out to you and you felt your heart skip a beat when you grabbed it, letting him help you from the ground. “Here.” His foot kicked your feet apart, hands pulling your elbows tight to your chest. “Try again.”

You swung your right arm the way he’d shown you to, hip turning, ball of foot pivoting, right into his arm, blocking you. “Gotta move faster than that, you’ve got speed on your side versus muscle. Try again.” And again, and again. Until your arms felt like lead and you were panting over the water fountain taking steady sips. Bucky, the show off, was benching five hundred pounds behind you like it was nothing. It rattled you.

How much could you really bench? Steve could do almost a thousand pounds, if not a full thousand. You look down at your own hands, wondering. Could you do half? Because even really two hundred pounds would be incredibly impressive. Maybe you should ask Bruce and Peter about trying? Just like with the running? What if…

“Hey.” Eric. But it didn’t feel like before. You remembered feeling excited to see him before, but now it just filled you with dread. What was happening to you?

“Hey.” You breathed, stuffing your hands in the pockets of your sweatshirt. Eric smiled, brushing the hair out of your face before pulling you into a soft kiss. The weights dropped with a heavy clang. You quickly pulled away, heat rushing to your face as you turned from Eric slightly to see Bucky staring at you with an indiscernible expression in the mirror’s reflection. Your stomach dropped.

“What’s wrong?” Eric’s hand on your arm, turning your attention back to him. Your tongue felt thick in your mouth, vision spinning. Fuck.

Fuck.

You seethed. This jealousy festering in your chest. This hurt. What were you doing? This was so dumb. It’s just Bucky. Your friend Bucky. Your Bucky. Arm wrapped around another beautiful redhead, one who’d pointedly ignored you all night.

“Why did you have to bring him?” She asked when the two of you strolled up. Bucky had rolled his eyes,

“He was invited before you were.” And a pout. But Bucky was handsome, and strong. Girls would compromise if it meant going on a date with him. You were just left to suffer.

Bucky loved dating. And you knew it. He loved going out, dancing, splitting shakes at the diner, taking walks around Brooklyn Heights just as the sun went down and the heat was leaving the pavement. And you were a witness to it all.

You missed the days where it was just the two of you. Days before Bucky was chasing skirts. Back when the two of you were just kicking cans in the street and trading pennies for bubblegum and short comics. Back when you’d only just discovered why Bucky always seemed to have peppermint oil on him and when he would stand between you and whatever problem you’d been trying to face on your own.

Not that he didn’t do that now.

He just didn’t know about this one.

You loved Bucky. And Bucky loved you, but you couldn’t tell if this was really normal or not. This infatuation. You wanted him all to yourself. It was hard to share him with other people. You stuffed your hands heavily in your pockets as you trailed behind the two of them.

Bucky and Vivian.

Vivian a girl with more air between her ears than brain. Her parents came from money and a lot of it. You almost couldn’t bear to be around her. No common sense or real life knowledge and it was no secret that she looked down on you for the financial status you had. You found yourself kicking rocks behind them, hoping one would snag her hose and leave her reeling and needing to go home.

But it wasn’t the case.

“You good pal?” Bucky turned, that fucking smile that made your heart skip a beat. What a fucking joke.

“Yeah,” Steve’s voice came out terse and shaky, “I’m good.” Bucky knew you were lying. His face fell a little before turning back to Vivian and saying,

“Let’s get you home huh?” He shifted his jacket onto her shoulders and you could see her dimpled cheek press against his shoulder. “Gettin’ cold out here.”

You waited off to the side as he stood on the step below her, her arms thrown over his shoulders as she pressed a bold kiss to his lips. The reflection in the window showed a strange expression on your face. One that seemed familiar and not familiar at the same time. You knew you were jealous. You knew you hated that girl. But this was Steve. Steve was jealous. Steve hated that girl.

But why was he showing you this?

“You couldn’t have fucking caught her?” Bucky yelled, cradling your body to his. His left hand growing bloody from the open wound on the back of your head. Eric stumbled over his words,

“It just happened so fast, I didn’t—” He was shaking, following Bucky as he brought you down to the lab.

“Go back to training.” Bucky spat, not turning to look at him. “She’ll call you when she wakes up.” His heart was racing, he knew you’d be fine, but he didn’t need to tell Eric that. Let the asshole sweat it out. Bucky knew the signs. Your eyes unfocused and glassy, the slowness in which you turned your head. A seizure was coming on. The fucking idiot beside you just watched as your eyes rolled and you fell back, hitting your head on the side of the water fountain.

What a fucking moron.

“Peter.” Bucky stated calmly, the younger boy looking up from the slides he was examining to watch Bucky lay your body on the cot. “Get me some antiseptic and bandages, I think she might need stitches.” Your face was pale, eyes moving rapidly behind your lids. To be fair, it always scared the shit out of him, even though Bruce said you’d be fine. It wasn’t a real seizure, it just looks like one.

“What happened?” Peter asked, laying out the items Bucky needed, “What triggered it I mean?” Bucky shrugged, wiping at the mess of blood on the back of your head before a small cut came into view. Not as bad as he thought it was going to be.

“I don’t know,” He put pressure on the cut, grabbing another wipe and sterilizing the needle he was about to use. “Fucking idiot Joston didn’t catch her, clipped her head on the water fountain in the training room.” Peter sucked in his teeth, ripping a bandage package open and grabbing a rag.

“Bruce should be back soon,” He said, “He went to talk to Sam about something with her blood.” Bucky tensed at that, looking at the kid and urging him to continue, “Since Zemo seemed so interested Bruce was having us both examine it, looking for what traces of the serum were in there. Shield had once tried to synthesize the serum after all of it was destroyed, but…”

He took a small light and aimed it at your head where Bucky was neatly giving you three stitches. “We wanted to see if it was even possible, they had never been able to do it. Agent Carter got rid of the samples before they were able to complete their work. But that’s not going to say that paired with the version you received that it would be impossible to recreate something close if not the same as what Steve had.”

Bucky wiped the area with an antiseptic towelette, letting out a heavy sigh, “Still we don’t know what he’s going to try and use it for. He got rid of the Winter Soldier program. Took all five agents out when he could have just kept them, so why now?” Peter handed him the bandage and Bucky carefully applied it to the back of your head, smoothing over it with his fingers.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out.” Peter began cleaning up the mess as Bucky brushed the hair out of your face, a strange expression on his.

“Let me know as soon as you’ve got something.” A thumb brushed against your cheek softly as you stirred, then retreating footsteps. Your head was pounding. You groaned,

“This has got to stop happening,” You whined, pushing yourself to sit up. Peter’s hands came to your arms, helping you. “I’m more accident prone now than I was before.” You joked, Peter gave you an uneasy smile.

“I don’t think Sergeant Barnes is too keen on it either.” You sighed, fingers coming to brush against the bandage on the back of your head, your hair still slightly damp and sticky with blood. You looked at your red tinted fingers,

“Did he do this?” You ask, shifting on the cot to swing your legs over the side.

“Yeah, seemed pretty pissed at that new recruit about it too.” Eric. Oh shit. Eric. Your vertebrae cracked as you stood, legs still shaky. “Relax, Wanda is on her way.” You look around the lab noticing your chart on the screen, twisting red blood cells under a microscope.

“Gotta start wearing some protective gear soon.” You joked, “What’s going on here?” You pointed to the microscope image being projected onto the screen. Peter looked at it and then back at you before asking,

“Have you talked to your parents about this at all?”

…

“Hey Mom, it’s me. I’m just calling to check in.” You paced your room, trying not to scratch the back of your head where you knew your cut was healing, “I just need to ask you something, so if you could give me a call back whenever. I love you, bye.” You ended the call, looking at your home screen.

It wasn’t unusual for you to go a day or two without talking to your parents. And you were sure to call them every few days just to make them aware that you were still alive and everything was fine. But it had been a while, and aside from the occasional text you hadn’t talked much since getting to the compound.

Maybe that was a mistake.

Zemo had to know about them right? He knew where you were and what you were doing right now supposedly so he had to know something about them. You just hoped they were okay.

They lived right across the bridge in New Jersey, but worked in the city. You had no other siblings, but they had a couple of dogs and lived in a fairly decent house in a suburb not too far away from you. You’d go home sometimes and do your laundry there, steal a couple boxes of cereal out of the pantry, dogsit when they went on vacations.

But you couldn’t help but feel some kind of resentment from them.

They would be better off if you’d just died as a child.

You were always so sickly and needed a lot of care. It took a lot of money to finally get you healthy and to keep you alive. There was no doubt that you harbored some guilt from it, even if they never said anything to you about it. You owed them whatever help you could give them.

It’s why Zemo’s offer seemed so good for a split second.

Until the next second made you realize how selfish that would be and how you could never do that because surely it meant the end of the world. How could it not?

But he had to know that right? That you would never do that? Maybe.

“Are you okay?” Bucky stepped into the room, taking his hands out of his pockets to reach for your bandage, “Let me see how you’re holding up.” Your heart skipped a beat.

“Yeah, I think I’m fine.” Your head was still tender in spots, he gently tugged the bandage back, looking beneath before pulling it off all together.

“You should shower, just be careful with your stitches, they’re almost healed.” He crumpled the slightly bloody thing in his hand before disappearing into the bathroom. You could hear the sink start.

“They’re almost healed?” You asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” He called, “Probably the serum.” What little of it you had. He stepped from the bathroom, drying his hands on a towel. “So… you and Eric?” He leaned against the wall of the bathroom, giving you an odd look.

The look Steve had in the memory.

Was he… “I guess,” You shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bed, “I don’t really have time to think about that right now, but… I don’t think we are really together it’s just…” You shook your head, “Why does it matter?” Why were you defending yourself to him?

“I need you to stay away from him.” He stated simply, tossing the towel aside.

“Because you don’t like him?”

“I have a gut feeling.” Always with the gut feeling. You rolled your eyes. Yes, you might not like Eric as much as you originally thought you did, but avoiding him completely would be almost impossible right now.

“You always have a gut feeling.” You joked.

“Have I ever been wrong?”

“Yes,” You laughed, “You told Steve once that he shouldn’t apply for that job in Manhattan off of a gut feeling, but it worked out and he made good money drawing those comics.” Bucky jokingly scoffed,

“The kid got beaten up left and right in Manhattan with no one to help him.”

“So really you didn’t want him to go because it took him away from you?” The playful joking mood dropped and Bucky gave you a serious look, averting his eyes from yours before quietly replying,

“Yes.” Your heart sank as you stared at him shifting awkwardly across from you. Tugging your lip between your teeth nervously you said softly,

“I’ll be okay Buck. I can handle Eric.” You stood, taking a step closer to him, “It’s Zemo I’m worried about right now,” You gently grabbed his hand, “I’m not too concerned with a crush.” I’m only concerned with you. His blue eyes met yours, focused, he squeezed your hand reassuringly.

Your phone rang, the shrill chimes from the bed ruining the moment. You walked over seeing your Mom’s picture flashing across the screen, “Hey,” You answered breathlessly. “Yeah, how are you?” You gave Bucky an apologetic look and he walked over squeezing your shoulder before leaving the room.

“Why haven’t you called lately?” She asked on the other end, scolding almost.

“I’ve just been busy,” You fell back against the bed, “I have something important to ask you actually.”

“Yeah you said in your message,” You could hear one of the dogs barking in the background. “Sorry, there’s a squirrel on the porch. What is it?” Your heart was racing thinking back to your earlier conversation with Peter. Did you really want to know the answer to this question? And how important was it, really, to relay this answer back to him?

“I just wanted to know…” Could you even ask this question? You picked at the skin on your fingernails, sighing heavily, you closed your eyes before staring intently at the ceiling. “Uhhh nevermind…. just, how have you been the past few weeks? Catch me up.”

Fucking Chicken.

taglist// @nutellakirb @witch-of-letters @torntaltos @emotionallysalty @an-lover @lbuck121 @bookish-shristi @saturnki @jennmurawski13 @geeksareunique @the-soulofdevil @tinmunky @albinotigerpython

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson #wanda maximoff #peter parker #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #steve rogers #the winter soldier #winter soldier #captain america

299 notes · View notes

summernightskyy · 4 years

Text

My Top The 100 Men

So, @nomattertheoceans tagged me to post about my Top 5 The 100 Women, and while I was doing that, I got curious about who her Top 5 The 100 Men are (I’m almost positive I know at least one person who would be on her list, and I think he might even be number 1 haha). So I decided to do my own and then tag her in this! This was very hard, but in a different way from the women for me. I knew who my number one was, no doubt. But #2-5? I love every character on this list a lot, so really almost everyone else is tied for second place hehe.

1. Bellamy Blake

Oh Bellamy. My journey with him has been a long one. I started out the series nearly hating him, but then as we got to see the motivation behind his actions, I started to not only understand the character, but love him. Now, he’s one of my favorite characters across all media - potentially even my absolute favorite male character of all time. He’s an extremely nuanced character, and I love getting to see different sides of him. I love getting to see a lead male character express emotion the way he does (and not just anger); I love seeing a male lead get to cry, and not be portrayed as weak I think we need that more on TV and in movies. I grieve for the childhood both of the Blake siblings had, and I’m so proud of them (is it weird to say I’m proud of a fictional character?) for turning out the way they have. Bellamy, who was burdened with so much at such a young age, who probably never thought he would get to have a life outside of Aurora and Octavia, for fear of Octavia getting discovered. Octavia, who knew nobody outside of her brother and mother for what, like 15 years? Who probably thought she’d never get to have a life of her own either? (Ugh, I get so annoyed when I start thinking a little too much about Aurora and the decisions she made. She doomed both her children. I don’t know how she thought either of them, especially Octavia, would ever have normal fulfilling lives. If Octavia hadn’t been sent to the ground, they wouldn’t have.) Yeah, they’ve both lost their way at times, but I LOVE the Blakes (especially the eldest one haha). Season 7 has been pretty good so far, but I somehow became even more aware of just how much Bellamy (and B.ob, because he’s an amazing actor and portrays Bellamy so well B.ob antis DNI!!!! Regardless of what anyone thinks about him as a person, I think he’s a great actor) brings to the show for me with his extremely limited presence so far this season. I really enjoyed 7x11, even if it ended up with my boy being brainwashed. I stood by him even after he wrongfully and stupidly participated in the grounder army massacre, and I’m sure as heck gonna stand by him now too. @clarkegriffinlovebot said they would watch Bellamy Blake watch paint dry for 45 minutes, and I totally agree. (Is it weird that I’m tagging you? I don’t know you and I’ve never interacted with you past liking that post, but I wanted to give you credit haha) The show is just so much better for me when this adorable mythology and history nerd is in it.

2. Nathan Miller

Onto number 2! I chose Miller because although we *unfortunately* haven’t seen much of him or delve into his character that much, I’ve loved all the little bits we’ve gotten to see. He’s just so sassy and snarky, and I love it, in addition to him being loyal (sometimes to a fault) and trustworthy (lmao, that’s funny considering he’s a thief - but I don’t know, in my eyes he’s trustworthy when it counts 😂). I love him, and him hating all the planets they’ve been to is so, so relatable. I would be just entirely done and tired as well. I also really enjoy Millamy and Millarke as brotps (although I don’t think I’d mind if Millamy was a romantic ship haha). There’s quite a few things I would change about this show, but two of the things highest on that list would be 1) making Jarod Joseph part of the main cast so we could properly explore Miller as a character and give him his own full story line(s) and 2) making Miller x Monty canon, even if it was just for a little bit! Marper was cute, and Mackson is alright, but I think these two would have been cuter, and I’m so salty the show didn’t go down that route, especially since both Jarod and Christoper Larkin seemed to be on board.

Also, I really need to learn how to make my own gifs, because I was really hoping to find one with Miller saying “In other words, get the flock out of here!” I actually died during that moment. Maybe someone did make one, but if they did, I didn’t see it. That’s fine, though. I needed motivation to start trying anyways, because its something I’ve always wanted to do.

3. Gabriel Santiago

Everyone else on this list has been on the show since season 1, and I definitely didn’t expect to love a character who was introduced in the penultimate season as much as I love Gabriel. At the end of season 6, I was really hoping they’d keep Gabriel around, so I was super happy to hear they were going to, and I haven’t been disappointed. I love how he literally seems to thirst for knowledge. (I clearly have a thing for attractive, nerdy guys, okay?) I also find it incredibly brave that he pushed so hard for the Primes to stop what they were doing, because he had to know that all of them, including the love of his life, would turn on him. It was obvious that Ryker wasn’t fully okay with what was happening either, but he didn’t do what Gabriel did and fully renounce the practice. He clearly has a pretty strong moral compass, even if he was lead astray from it for awhile. I also really liked seeing him bond with Echo, Hope and Orlando. He’s smart, hot as hell, subtly funny, and not afraid to do what’s right even if that’s gonna end up making the people he cares about mad at him.

4. Monty Green

Monty has been one of my favorites from the jump, and I miss him so much. He’s just so adorable and kind, and literally one of the best people on this show. He suffered through and lost so much, and I wish we could have had more focus on him dealing with those traumas. I hate that we never really got to see how he dealt with what happened at Mount Weather. The focus tends to be mostly on Clarke and Bellamy, but even then mostly Clarke. I think it’s easy to forget that while, yes, they pulled the lever, Monty made pulling that lever possible so he could save his friends. We also don’t really get to see much about him dealing with the trauma of having to kill his own mother, and even Jasper’s suicide was relatively swept under the rug. I mentioned earlier that there’s quite a few things I would change about this show, and when it comes to Monty, I wish we could have seen him process these events and heal. I also think credit for saving the day tends to go to Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia and Raven - but Monty has been instrumental in many instances. Those five, in my opinion make up the core five characters of the show, and honestly, the show hasn’t been the same without Monty. I love Jordan, he’s adorable and genuinely good just like his dad (and mom) but Monty’s part of the soul of the show to me. Also, how cute is it that Monty taught Jordan Korean?!? (I really think Jordan might be onto something about Cadogan and the Disciples interpreting the text incorrectly - so look at that, Monty might indirectly save the day again)

Also, shout out to @thelovelylights for making this gif - it’s one of my favorite moments of Monty, I’ve been following her for a long time, and her blog is amazing.

5. John Murphy

Honestly, I didn’t realize just how much I’d come to like and care about Murphy as a character until this season. I’ve been sooo stressed out watching every single episode he’s been in, worrying that he would end up dying. I’m a sucker for well depicted character growth / redemption arcs, (I mean lol, there’s a reason that some of my favorite characters include Bellamy Blake, Zuko, and Jaime Lannister), and Murphy’s had a great one. He was such a dick in season 1 who, unlike Bellamy - who clearly cared about Octavia at least, really seemed not to care about anyone but himself. It’s been so amazing to see him grow into the person he is now; a person who cares so much about the lives of random people, who was genuinely scared when he realized Madi was in danger, who reassured to her that she was safe and helped calm her down. I really hope the theories about a Memori baby end up becoming canon, because Memori has grown sooo much over the course of this series and they would be absolutely amazing parents.

Honorable mention: Lincoln Kom Trikru

Lincoln was just such a great character. I miss him so much 😭

Tagging @nomattertheoceans and anyone else who sees this and wants to do this!!

#the 100 spoilers #the 100 #top 5 the 100 men #bellamy blake #nathan miller #gabriel santiago #monty green #john murphy #lincoln kom trikru #also just have to mention how large my crush on chuku modu is #being bi is great lol #i'm official bellamy blake trash

17 notes · View notes

readbetweenthelineslove · 4 years

Text

Thoughts While Watching SK Homecoming

I was literally smiling and laughing like an idiot while watching these wonderful amazing people and thinking of all of the memories from years of enjoying their musicals. I am so glad I bought the digital download because they deserve all of the love and support. Just a word of warning I will be spoiling what happens throughout the show so if you haven’t seen it yet and/or you don’t want to have anything spoiled for you, I would not proceed any further. You have been warned. Also, as the show is over two hours long, buckle in cause this is gonna be a doozy and I have a lot of feeling about this wonderful show.

Disclaimer: these are just my own personal thoughts and opinions as a long time fan of Starkid, please don’t come at me.

1. Darren is so cute with how he encourages and interacts with the crowd, you can tell how much he loves Starkid and loves the fans

2. we stan a founding knucklehead of Starkid

3. I am so proud of the musical daddies as they conduct a literal orchestra!! how far they have come!!! also, hearing all of the songs with the orchestra is such a treat.

4. I am living for Jeff Blims outfit! the eyeliner, the necklace, the vest!! honestly, iconic.

5. It is so funny to me that they had to edit out fuck from their songs, i.e. “i mean what the what”; “tiger lover”; “he porked a tiger”.

6. Did they change the octave that they were singing, because Jeff seems to be struggling?

7. I love how Jon Matteson looks the same as he did TGWDLM, he is Paul.

8. I don’t know why but the TGWDLM medley is increasing my appreciation for Jeff, previously who wasn’t really on my radar in terms of my favorite starkids, but I love his little dance moves and funny things he does

9. Robert Manion fucking performs the hell out of show stopping number and I am here for it every single time. I feel like he can’t help it and you can tell he’s into it because he can’t help but make the Hidgins face and wiggle his hips. Also, THE BODY ROLLS I AM LIVING FOR THEM !!! (@9:10)

10. Both Mariah and Jon are confirmed working boys and I love them for it. I love that Corey brought Mariah in at the end to make sure she was included.

11. Okay but Lauren Lopez knows how to perform like she knows how to work and engage a live audience. I so enjoy watching performances like this where there isn’t a wall between performer and audience because I think that that’s when she shines. I also feel like the same applies to Rob, Joey, and Darren, they are just so fun to watch.

12. How are all of these people so attractive!! I especially love Lauren’s outfit, but that’s probably just cause I love her so much.

13. I don’t know why but Brian’s “I still don't know!!” at 12:08 gets me every time.

14. Joey’s look behind him for his shadow at 12:24 while he bops kills me.

15. The orchestral swell at 13:05 with “this is the dawn” is so beautiful.

16. Lauren's arms are unbelievable, but we already knew that

17. 14:43 where Joey and Lauren walk and then turn back is so funny to me.

18. The second naked in a lake kicked in at 17:05, I got so hype. also, love that Corey took off his jacket during the song.

19. All the different faces and actions during the “fasters” at 19:54 are so good.

20. I never realized how tall and gangly Clark was until the Ani section, the boy's limbs are too long for his own good and I love it. His voice is so beautiful though!!

21. Joe calling Twisted the first-ever live-action Disney remake is iconic and no one can tell me otherwise.

22. I was legitimately afraid for the buttons on Joe’s shirt at 27:43.

23. Britney Coleman and Carlos Valdez singing 1001 Nights was a wonderful surprise and literally so beautiful, also their exit as Dylan started singing was so cute.

24. I’m kind of sad that they didn’t actually sing Twisted in the medley cause that was one of my favorite songs, but I understand that they had time constraints.

25. After 32:38, I feel like I need to watch the Lego Batman movie to see how similar it is to HMB.

26. Semi-disappointed that they didn’t do the usual choreography for the “I want to be your friend forever” part, but I respect that the handheld mics restricted them.

27. The bass or guitar or whatever in the background at 36:30 was so groovy, I was a fan of that.

28. Tbh, I didn’t really get Denise’s whole bit about how Starship is a show only for dreamers, it just felt a little off to me.

29. I’m a little bummed that Joey didn’t sing Status Quo, but I like that they gave it to Mariah and Alex who both have lovely voices. I appreciate that they had a moment to shine when they might not have because they are newer members/ only had a small role.

30. Brian and Jaime’s eye contact with the camera at 40:48 is so powerful and I’m here for it.

31. Joey mouthing the lyrics at 41:21 is so funny and I love it.

32. AJ’s little jump in the background at 43:02 is so cute.

33. Their constant need to have to avoid saying dick throughout the whole MAMD section is so good and hilarious, with so many expertly timed entrances from AJ Holmes and Joe Walker.

34. Joey saying no to the different microphones at 44:00 is absolutely artistic and fucking hysterical. It gave me similar vibes to Bo Burnham’s bit about seeing the most beautiful penis at a urinal.

35. 45:40, AJ Holmes is a delight of a man, need I say more.

36. “Do I smell?” “Pretty bad.” 45:07

37. Seeing Meredith and Brian standing next to each other at 48:49 makes my heart so happy cause this is what brought them together and now they are married and it’s amazing.

38. “We’ve written on all of the Starkid shows” 50:46, what a powerful statement.

39. I had no clue that the Starkid movie (1997) was a thing and I love that Nick just straight-up roasted it.

40. The subtitles at 52:56, dramatical instrumental music. I am here for it, I love this revamped version

41. Darren is so extra singing Goin back to Hogwarts and I am here for it. Our boy has grown so much!

42. Pulling out the glasses at 54:03 is a power move.

43. I’m not sure about how I feel about people singing along to the songs during this. I know it is supposed to be for the fans but don’t people want to just sit back and listen to how amazing these people are and just enjoy. Maybe that’s just cause I only am viewing it through a computer and if I had been there I might have felt different, but who knows.

44. 56:05, AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! It’s Bonnie!!! She looks amazing and I’m so happy that she’s here!!!

45. Joey trying to the clap in the ear with mic at 58:04.

46. 58:16, I love how Darren always hypes up the crowd for Lauren’s entrances as Draco, he’s done this a number of times and it makes my heart so happy how he supports his friends.

47. I love Lauren so much the way she moves across the stage at 58:57, the power stance at 59:05...absolutely incredible.

48. I love seeing Rob in the chorus cause he was a fan, he loves AVPM just as much as we do and now we get to see him up there performing one of the most iconic songs. It honestly just makes my heart so happy.

49. 1:00:12, Dylan emerging from the audience is honestly so funny to me and I love him for it. Also, I love the ongoing trope of the “welcome” getting progressively longer each time they perform the song. Bless Dylan’s lungs and abilities to sustain that note.

50. 1:03:45 Jim little butt taps are so good.

51. The saxophone at 1:04:19 is so enjoyable.

52. I like how the slowed things down for Home at 1:06:10 with Darren sitting on the stage just having a personal moment with the audience, it was really nice.

53. Darren’s hops at 1:08:45 are so adorable and I love them.

54. I know that AVPM songs are iconic and everyone loves them, but I would have liked to see them so some more songs from AVPS and AVPSY, especially since they had some time rehearse them and there would be no mic issues.

55. Yay for a Bonnie and Meredith duet, both women are wonderful and have done an amazing job as Hermione and I love them both.

56. “Art imitates life a little bit on that one”, it’s okay we love you Darren with your silly guitar.

57. I didn’t think watching this would be educational, but I now know what a litmus test is and what slant rhymes (aka really pushing it rhymes) are thanks to Darren and google, so there’s that.

58. This may be a bit controversial but I feel as though this was one of the weaker performances of Granger Danger, usually Joey and Lauren have fun with it and I love it when they do, but this time they seemed to be more going through the motions. There were good moments (i.e. Joey’s hips, Lauren sliding down the mic stand, the back and forth head turns) but overall it was just kind of eh.

59. Darren’s twirl at 1:28:36 is delightful.

60. I firmly believe that AJ has permanently memorized the fantasy monologue and I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise, 1:31:10. Also, I’m curious if it was planned because someone in the audience calls out for it, but that might have been a plant so who knows.

61. I just realized at 1:32:20, where he’s talking about mouse wives and concubines that would be bestiality. He only shrunk his size down, he would still technically be a human...

62. Tyler Brunsman singing Guys like Potter is now kind of funny considering AVPSY and Cedric ending up with Lily in the afterlife.

63. Joe Moses face at 1:38:57 is classic Snape and I am here for it.

64. Another yay for Sidekick, this is one of my fav AVPSY songs and Joey kills it every time.

65. 1:43:19, goddamn that man can hit a high note.

66. I love the addition of Rob to Everything Ends, what a pretty song and Rob’s voice works wonderfully with it.

67. 1:44:58, Rob struggling with the mic is hilarious.

68. Classic Snape speech at 1:46:30, simply inspiring.

69. I love Jaime and we all know her voice is incredible, but something seemed off during Not Alone and at times it sounded like she was struggling.

70. 1:51:56, I don’t know if I just don’t know much about music but Joey’s make was a little off, but on another note, I think it would have been really sweet if they had let Lauren sing too so that Draco could finally add to that harmony.

71. That sick piano rift at 1:54:33, hell yeah!

72. Even though they always use Days of Summer as the closing song, I love it every time, it’s just so fun and gets me so emotional.

73. That key change at 1:56:50 tho.

74. Yay for enthusiastic but sometimes questionable fanart ;)

75. Brian and Joe recreating the ending scene of AVPM is absolutely beautiful and I am here for it.

76. The matching jackets at the end speaks to the fact that Starkid at its essence is just a bunch of friends who were theatre nerds and wanted to create something fun together and I think that's wonderful.

In conclusion: Props to whoever made it to the end of this ridiculously long post summarizing the different thoughts I had while watching Homecoming. I truly think it was something for the fans and I love them for it. I am so proud of Starkid and all they have accomplished since 2009.

I want to encourage others to continue to support Starkid in the future, maybe even by purchasing Homecoming for themselves, I would definitely recommend giving it a watch. Also, feel free to respond and let me know your own thoughts on Homecoming, I’m sure there’s lots I missed and I would love to hear what others thoughts.

62 notes · View notes

szivtalan · 4 years

Note

8, 9, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 64, 65, 70 (aside from Kagami 😂), 71, 72, 79, 82, 86, 87, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 for the "Asks, why not" thing please? (Omg that's soo much, I'm sorry I got carried away ^^')

8) Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Average height, bordering on short. Broad shoulders, thick arms and thighs, square face, slightly projecting ears (one pierced, one with a stretched lobe), bushy arched brows, thick square glasses, faded dark red hair, dark brown eyes, butt chin. I look pale and perpetually sleep deprived.

9) What do you/did you study?

I was in a teacher’s training program for English and Hungarian language and literature, and I’m planning to go back to school to study sociology!

16) What do you look for in a SO?

Consciously: understanding, fun, sweet, kind and accepting. Unconsciously: somewhat broken and in dire need of emotional help which I’m desperate to provide lmao.

19) Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Eh, u know, it depends? I don’t think I’m fit for a serious relationship right now, so I’d prefer casual stuff atm, but on the long run I do want a partner to share my life with.

20) What are your deal breakers?

Really obnoxious people, ignorance and bigotry I guess. And I’m not keen on someone pushing or disrespecting my boundaries, either.

21) How was your day?

It was good!! My bro, his girlfriend and my friend tagged along to get our (me and my soon-to-be sis-in-law’s) ears pierced, and then my friend and I got a loot of food. I didn’t exactly feel good enough abt myself to be comfortable outside, but I got a lot of random kindness and that was Nice.

22) Favourite food & drink

Food: teriyaki chicken and seafood pasta, drink: ginger ale and iced coffee

23) What position do you sleep in?

I sleep half-curled up on my side, but I need to toss and turn a little until I find The Best Position.

25) Your fears

The dark, needles, rabbits (I don’t even know, dude), the fact that I’ll die without having made an impact on the world, being spoken about behind my back, being a bad influence on my friends.

28) Any pets?

Not right now! I used to have two rottweilers around the house growing up, but they both passed away sadly.

29) What are your hobbies?

Writing, sketching, basketball, getting on people’s nerves, researching typology, watchin movies idk?

31) What was your last awkward situation?

Asjhdh the ticket control guy told me to “Have a safe trip” and I said “You too!”. This rarely happens to me tho

32) What is your last regret?

Not holding my friend’s hand on public transport. It was…right…there….and she already told me she’s more than comfortable with physical touch! I’m a fool! Everyone thinks I hate touching but I don’t! I’m just shy!

34) Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Ehh. Kind of? As for believing, I believe more in ghosts, but I do see some patterns in different signs. I just try not to let it affect the way I see/interact with a person, because no one deserves to be prejudiced for whatever reason, especially not their date of birth. Tarot is just fun, and the cards r cool

35) Have any quirks?

I bite the skin on my fingers, scratch my acne, make my knees jump… most of it is just regular anxiety stuff tho so idk?? I do think I’m quirky, but there’s just too much weird stuff to list ‘em.

36) Your pet peeves

Cig/booze stink on a person, customers being rude, bigotry, interrupting other people… There’s quite some things that annoy me asjdgd

40) Last 5 things from your search history

Boku No Hero Academia, Hawks, duck emoji, Grumman fma, How To Train Your Dragon

41) What’s your device backgrounds?

My phone lockscreen rn is a beautiful KagaKuro fanart of them standing in the rain in yukatas, Kagami looming over Kuroko and shielding him from the rain and Kuroko reaching up to stroke his face; my phone background is an art of they/them pronouns tattooed on someone’s knuckles, their posture unsure; my laptop background is a screenshot from the movie Déva, of blue skies and a street lamp.

42) What do you daydream about?

…cu..cuddling,,my…crush……..

44) What's your religion/Your thought about religion

Short version: barf

Long version: I was raised catholic (even tho I was never baptized), and attended catholic school for 8 years which gave me a really warped idea of Christianity, Which made me a cynic & an agnostic or atheist by proxy. I harshly criticize the catholic church and faith but sometimes… when I do feel hopeless I get down on my knees and pray, so I guess if I let myself find my own faith I’d be a believer. But right now, I’m good just existing in my nihilistic bubble

45) Your personality type

Needy imeanwhat. In a typological sense, I’m an INFP in Myers-Briggs, 4 core 5 wing in Enneagram, melancholic or sanguine in the temperaments, et cetera. Basically I’m a sad daydreamer with unresolved issues and a need to do Art

47) Are you happy with your current life?

Nah bro. I like my friends and my workplace but I’d like to move out of home ASAP. I’d also… like to get therapy before I go and put myself out there.

48) Some things you've tried in your life

Playing the guitar, hostess work, weed, cigarettes, being blackout drunk, smoking from a hookah, cooking, football, handball, basketball, volleyball, cycling, sailing, driving, hitchhiking long distances, folk dancing, one-night stands, long-distance relationships, helping people in need…

50) Favourite colour to wear?

Olive green, midnight/navy blue, white, grey and black.

53) If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I’d… like to know how it would feel if I had a flat chest and a penis? I also want bigger Guns, and Abs, some more tattoos and maybe an eyebrow piercing.

55) Do you get complimented often?

I think so? I usually brush off compliments uhhh but yeah maybe! Maybe idk

58) Songs you're currently obsessed with?

My friend’s playlist reminded me that ‘Phenomenon’ by Thousand Foot Krutch exists. I’m also really into ‘San Francisco’ by The Mowgli’s atm and ‘Golden Time Lover’ by Sukima Switch!

59) Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

I mean, it’s not like it’s cringe or anything, I hate cringe culture BUT. I do have Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ stuck in my head rn

64) Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing pretty badly, play a bad tune on my guitar, drum on the edge of my table, so- Nah not really asdh

65) Do you like karaoke?

YES VERY MUCH I live and die for karaoke, last time I did it in front of an audience we sung the Shaman King opening at an anime con with friends, it was Rad

70) Your fictional crush/es

AH NO FUN Kagami’s my number one,,, let’s see then: Aomine, Roy Mustang, Kise, Mikoto Suoh, Hotch & Reid from Criminal Minds, Yagami Light, Jaime Lannister and Brienne from GoT, Rustin Cohle from True Detective, Shizuo Heiwajima from Durarara!!!, why is this list full of men I didn’t think I liked men this much

71) Which fictional character is you?

Eddie Brock from Venom I mean? He’s a whole ass mess.

79) How much time do you spend on the internet?

Yike. More than I’d be proud of.

86) Would you use death note, if you had one?

No way dude. I don’t fuck with that shit, karma would fuck me right back.

87) What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I’d eliminate money and power and just make it a huge peaceful hippie community or something idk

90) What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Donate me to a medical school I don’t care. Make use of me! I’m gonna be dead, I won’t have any more feelings left to be hurt or anything asdghdsg

91) If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

I’ve had a name in mind that I tried out once, but it didn’t really work out for me after all. I’m fine with Vee and Vic rn. Anything that isn’t my given name. I do want to change my surname to my mother’s, but if I do that I also want to give myself a different first name, and since That isn’t figured out yet, I’m just?? Call me whatever dude

94) Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

Ugh, I’m bad at these. 1) I have plenty of moles. 2) My eyesight is pretty good. 3) I’ve broken some bones before.

95) Cold or hot?

Cold in beverage, hot in weather.

96) Be a hero or be a villain?

Being a villain is way too much fun, but I have too strong of a conscience to pull that off, so… hero, I guess.

97) Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Asjhdf singing is funnier and more annoying, since I Cannot Sing

98) Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Dude I’m non-binary. Shapeshifting for Sure

99) Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Aight I’ll give in – I agree to immortality Just This Once.

#this was LONG as FUK #ask and i shall answer #i kindly skipped those i've already answered ^^'#thank u buddy!!!#meiyanaalexia #i didn't think i'd get too real with this but here i am

4 notes · View notes

ajoblotofjunk · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by @pretty--thief for this one!

Rules: tag 9 people you’d like to know better (I’m not gonna tag anyone since I think everybody has done it already? idk, I’ve been super busy at work I’m failing to keep up here; please treat it as though I have tagged you if you want to do this! You can @ me and everything)

Top 3 Ships

1. Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth (A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones)

I’ve been shipping these idiots for twenty fucking years, since A Clash of Kings and it has been an often painful ride. I waited so long for them to get together and finally be happy so YOU CAN IMAGINE my dismay when season 8 went down the way it did. The day 8x04 aired I may have experienced the biggest emotional pendulum swing of my life, from when the stills of the kiss were leaked to when I watched the actual end of the episode. Anyway, they’re both still alive for now and will be until Martin gets off his butt so basically I think they’re now ours to do with what we will and what we will is give them the happy ending THEY SO CLEARLY DESERVE I MEAN COME ON. READ THE SOURCE MATERIAL DAN AND DAVID. WHAT THE FUCK.

Ahem.

2. Benton Fraser/Ray Vecchio (due South)

Me, discovering that tumblr does not have a single Fraser/Vecchio gif in its GIF catalog:

ANYWAY the internet at least provided this so here you go:

This is my single biggest happy place pairing. Though I have also happily read and written Fraser/Vecchio/Kowalski and Kowalski/Vecchio (and usually Fraser paired with Janet in those cases), Fraser/Vecchio is (along with JB) the OTP of my heart. They just love each other so much???Plus you get “together we’re better than we are separately” canonically stated and it’s VERY TRUE. SOMETIMES THE WORLD COMES TO YOU. AKA YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOUR FAVORITE HAT.

Anyway. My experience in the FV fandom in the mid-2000s is a treasured memory even if it kind of ended in an explosion. Heh.

3. Roberta Warren/Alvin Murphy (Z Nation)

this spot ALMOST went to Michael/Mahone from Prison Break and in fact as I type this I’m second-guessing myself about not choosing them, BUT I decided to give it to the ‘ship that I was slightly more productive with in terms of creative output and that’s Warren and Murphy from Z Nation. Murphy is the asshole failboat and only living survivor of a zombie bite and Warren is the badass team leader who agrees to ferry him across country to a lab where they’ll use his blood to make a cure. That’s how their relationship starts at least and it gets WILD from there. This ship isn’t canonical although there are ‘I love yous’ sort of exchanged at the end of the last season. But they never even hug. IT’S COMPLICATED.

There’s banter and height difference and Murphy becoming a better man just through association with Warren and they’re friends and antagonists and they are definitely Weird About Each Other and everyone knows it. (Sounds a lot like Jaime/Brienne? Yeah. I HAVE A TYPE.) It hits ALL my favorite shipping buttons. CURIOUS? You can watch this vid I made about them to see more. Limited zombies.

Last Song You Listened To

Matt Nathanson, “Still” which has this excellent lyric:

I remember nonstop earthquake dreams of you You're coming on fast like good dreams do All night long

Last Movie You Watched

All the way through probably Frozen 2, which I loved. We got about halfway through another re-watch of Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse and just haven’t gotten back to it yet.

Reading

Fanfic almost exclusively. I’m about to start sameboots’ painter Jaime AU next, I think, which I am VERY excited about. And then probably delve into another long one. Maybe Living Fiction finally. My To Read list for fic is excruciatingly long; I wish I read faster and/or didn’t have so much writing inspiration. Heh.

Last Thing You Ate

Half an avocado! It was delicious. I ate half in the morning and then the other half in the afternoon as a snack. I AM the avocado problem.

#meme #due south #asoiaf #game of thrones #z nation #warren x murphy #jaime x brienne #fraser x vecchio #gif set #please do not start ray wars in my comments #i'm not about that life #you are welcome to shit on d&d for got though #i am always here for that #I WAS CONVINCED JAIME WAS LEAVING TO KILL CERSEI #IT MADE NO SENSE OTHERWISE #I WAS SUCH A CLOWN #GOD #I WILL DIE MAD

26 notes · View notes

acourtofhopeanddreams · 4 years

Text

The Chosen One

Written for day 2 of @jonsa-week based on the prompt: Quotes OR Colors OR Tropes

Sansa is trying to convince Jon that he must be the one who was promised in the prophecies. Jon is trying to convince Sansa that as long as people like Robb and Jaime exist a bastard like him can't be that important.

Magic School AU

“No, I won’t do it.” Jon shook his head and he crossed his arms firmly over his chest. “I’m not gonna believe in that stupid prophecy stuff.”

Sansa rolled her eyes and she slammed the book on the wooden table they were sharing. A layer of dust flew Jon’s way however and his loud sneeze echoed through the library.

For the last half an hour Sansa had been trying to convince him that he was the prince who was promised, the chosen one, the only one who could defeat the night king and his army of the death.

And for the last half an hour Jon was trying to explain that if he was the chosen one the Westeros Academy for the Young and Gifted was doomed. Because why would anyone make him the hero when there were also Robb Starks and Jaime Lannisters in this world? Why would an orphan like himself, who could only attend this academy because his Uncle Ned Stark had sponsored this library, be their destined saviour?

“Come on, Jon!” Sansa let out a deep sigh and she opened the book again on that same old wrinkled page. She had underlined some sentences and marked some others and in the margin she had written loads of unreadable things.

Jon was quite certain all of that counted as damaging school stuff, but Sansa would most likely tell him that since her father had paid for this library, these books were also a little bit from her. So, he kept his mouth shut.

“It can only be you!” Sansa pointed at the words he knew all too well right now. “You’re born from death, because aunt Lyanna died giving birth to you.” She made it sound like a throwaway line, but Jon closed his eyes to silence the voices in his head.

Countless of therapists had told him that his mother’s death was not his fault, that he couldn’t blame himself for it. But that was so much easier said than done. He knew he had only been a baby then and didn’t know that his birth would kill her. But knowing and feeling were two entirely different things apparently.

“You have fire in your veins, because of the Targaryen blood you got from your father.” Sansa didn’t even seem to notice Jon’s discomfort while she summarised the prophecy and his sad and miserable life.

Those same therapists had also told him that there was no need be afraid of the famous Targaryen curse, assuring him that if he had inherited his family’s madness that had lead to his grandfather’s dead he would have known by now. But not one of those therapists had ever met a Targaryen and their entire opinion was based on nothing but the stories they read in their study books. And everyone knew that not every story in a book was true.

“Are you still listening?” Sansa elbowed him and Jon furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m not the one from the prophecy.” Jon shook his head once more and he leaned back in his chair. “Your brother is a much better man than I’ll ever be. Everyone says it and you know it’s true.” His lips formed a straight line. “And Jaime is the best sword fighter in the entire realm. If anyone can beat this night king it’s him.”

Sansa closed the book and stared at him. For the first time in half an hour she kept silent. She just stared at him, with those piercing blue eyes. “I know that everyone says Robb is the better man. But I’m not sure sure they’re right.”

Jon widened his eyes. “You’re not sure?”

Sansa cocked her head. “I think they all overlook your qualities because you are very good at hiding behind my brother. You’ve made yourself quite comfortable in his shadow, but honestly, I don’t think that’s where you belong.”

“You’re trying to trick me into this whole chosen one thing, aren’t you?” Jon rolled his eyes.

Sansa had always been a dreamer. Until she could read herself she had begged whoever was around to read her stories to her. And sometimes Jon wasn’t entirely sure if she could tell fact from fiction. It was maybe one of the personality traits he liked most in her. Her faith in heroes and princes and happy endings. Her hope that even though the world seemed dark and mean and cruel, it was still worth fighting for.

“I’m not trying to trick you into anything!” Sansa raised her voice. “Can you just stop thinking so low of yourself for a second?” She reached for his hand. “You’re kind. You fight for those who can’t fight for themselves and you always believe in people being good until proven otherwise.”

“That’s not…”

Sansa didn’t let him finish his sentence. “You are also never afraid to get your hands dirty and work hard. You will never ask someone else to do something you’re not willing to do yourself.”

Jon closed his eyes. “San…”

“And you don’t want power. You don’t want to be a leader or famous. You don’t want to wear a crown. You just want to do what’s right and good.”

Even if he wanted any of that, he would never get it anyway. His was an orphan, a bastard, the result of a stupid infatuation from a married man with a young and naive girl. And everyone knew it.

“I know you’re into all this hero stuff. But don’t you think you’ve read too many stories? You’re trying to make me into something I’m very clearly not.” Jon spoke softly and he bent his head. “You just want me to be a hero, a knight in shining armour, a Prince Charming.”

Sansa chuckled. “You think I want you to be the chosen one?” She raised her eyebrows. “Your really think I just like the thought of you fighting in the biggest war our realm has ever known? You truly believe that I’m okay with you being the only one who can kill this night king and his army?” She paused for a short moment and her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. “Jon…” She reached for his hands again and grabbed them tightly. “I like the idea of you being the chosen one just as much as you do.” She moved a little closer towards him. “Because I know that prophecies never guarantee that its heroes survive the battle and I don’t want you to die.” She licked her red lips. “Because if I lose you…” She hesitated. “My heart will shatter and I don’t think anyone will ever be able to heal it.”

Jon blinked a few times and just stared at her.

Sansa Stark would be heartbroken if he died? Sansa Stark couldn’t bear the thought of losing him?

“What do you mean with all that?” Jon swallowed.

“I’m in love with you, dumbass.” Sansa almost screamed the words and everyone in the library turned their heads to look at her. “I love you. And I don’t want you to be the chosen one. But I still think you are.”

For a second Jon didn’t know what to say.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that…” Sansa bent her head, but quickly Jon freed a hand and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

“No, it’s okay, it’s just…” He shook his head. “I love you for years already and I never thought you’d…”

Sansa pushed herself up and her soft lips kissed his. The kiss was hesitant at first, but then Jon wrapped his arms around her and he opened his mouth to let her tongue in.

He didn’t care that this was a library. He didn’t care that everyone was watching. He didn’t care that people would frown upon their romance. He just knew one thing for sure now.

He pulled back to take a deep breath. “Damn, now I have even more reasons to not want to be that chosen one.”

“Maybe you’re not.” Sansa kissed him again. “You know what? Let’s just pretend you’re not.” Her mouth found his again. “Until we no longer can.”

Jon smiled hoping and praying that Sansa was wrong and that they would get their happily ever after without him having to save the world first.

But Sansa was rarely wrong about anything.

And they both knew it.

#jonsaweek #jonsa #jon snow #Sansa Stark #game of thrones #got #got fanfiction #game of thrones fanfiction #sansa stark fanfiction #jon snow fanfiction #jonsa fanfiction #day 2: Tropes #alternate universe

35 notes · View notes

wackygoofball · 5 years

Text

Gwenspiration: The Wacky Version Vol. 3 - The Moodboards

So, here I go again parading myself and tooting like there is no tomorrow.

As people still brave enough to follow me on Tumblr will know, I do a lot of moodboards, or at least I call them such. Others call them collages or storyboards or pictures with random text. Either way, for me, moodboards became a neat tool to somehow capture story ideas not yet anywhere near a level that I could write fic about them - or serve as inspirations for fics I am actually writing.

And it gives me opportunity to hoard unhealthy amounts of Gwen and Nik pics, in the name of moodboards. And science. And stuff. Whoozah!

So yeah, in this post, I want to share some of my personal favorites. A lot of them actually, because I can’t decide, really.

I will start off with a group of moodboards which took inspiration from the Marvel universe, since the Marvel universe was my gateway into the more active parts of fandom.

Link

An all-time fave is the Iron Man AU... I mean, what not to love about a JB AU with Jaime as sassy Tony Stark and Brienne as the not-taking any shit from you army doctor, am I right? But yeah, seriously, Jaime *is* the Tony Stark of the GOT universe, and I can’t be convinced otherwise. And neither should be you.

Also, the Iron Man suits just totally fit the color scheme for both, which made creating the moodboards all the better for me. Jaime and Brienne were made for armor, now in medieval or modern times, let’s not kid ourselves.

Link

Another Marvel fave has got to be Captain Westeros. Because if there is a female GOT Version of Steve Rogers, it’s gotta be Brienne of fuckin’ Tarth. This one is really close to my heart because it gave me a lot of feels coming up with plot bunnies for it, and the tragedy of those two people missing each other in time over and over again, always trying to protect one another, only to end up on opposite sides because of the machinations of others... *sigh*

And I mean, one guy loses an arm. The other is blond and strong... I don’t make the rules but this delivers me enough material to re-imagine this as a JB AU... so yeah, I do kinda make the rules after all. Anyway.

Since I realized that this post’s gonna get even looooonger, I decided to make a cut here and put the rest below, so not to have you scrolling for five hours.

Link

Although it’s not the most popular moodboard amongst my followers (you brave people, I can’t parade you enough for staying through the madness lol), I really, really love that Fantastic Four moodboard and the concept behind it. And I just know a lot of effort went into making Valyrian Steel Brienne, which took all of my three computer editing skillz brain cells. But yeah, here again, I liked to play with the idea of them not admitting to their love until shit hits the fan and then they hide behind that because... drama, angst, feels, pining, yadda.

Link

And we go from Marvel to DC little quick. Because Brienne is, most certainly, a Wonder Woman. Nuf said.

Now, let’s move on to other big movie franchises that give me all the JB feels:

Link

Jurassic Park (aka Valyrian Park) evidently holds a special place in my heart because JB fighting dinosaur-dragon hybrids and kicking ass while being disbelieving about what was bred out in Valyria thanks to some certain someones to rescue Brienne’s adoptive daughter Arya is just... a thing? For me anyway.

Link

More down memory lane, I don’t know how often I watched the LOTR movies, suffice to say it was a lot a lot. We had the extended versions DVDs of the first two and basically it was the one thing to watch when nothing was on (which was the case a lot). Either way. JB in MIddle Earth long after the days of Frodo et al. - why? Because I just loved the idea (and aesthetic) of Jaime as a ranger and Brienne as a knight of Gondor working in disguise. And Hobbipod. I mean, Pod as a Hobbit. Come the fuck on. And Tyrion as an asshole wizard. What could possibly go wrong? This moodboard was very time-consuming as I had to do a lot of edits (pointy ears, tiny up people, smudge Brienne’s face on a lot of Boromir and Faramir images, smudge Jaime’s face on a lot of Aragorn images, you name it). So yeah. No matter its popularity... I dig it. Despite not having read the books yet (I know, shocking), I continue to ogle at the idea and go like: Must. Write. But. Must. Resist. Either way. Mood.

Link

So yeah, I grew up watching these movies a lot, too (I grew up watching a lot of TV, period). And when Gwen was cast as Captain Phasma, I got a lot of JB juices flowing as a result. Mehe. I found it was a fun idea to play with, to basically *kill* Phasma so *Brienne* can come into play and assume her identity. And a rundown Jedi!Jaime who’s lost faith in himself and everything else safe for his partner in crime/resistance is just... I needz. So you gotta cope with it. I still adore this concept a lot even if others may not. :)

Link

This one’s just... gah. Feels. And I really liked the color scheme lol. And I watched Horse Whisperer A LOT. Because of feels. And horses. And Honor is a horse and he deserved better than be barbecued at Highgarden, dammit.

Link

The No Reservations AU definitely has to be in this post because I live for this dynamic. Brienne taking care of the girls, not knowing how, though, constantly doubting herself while always trying to be perfect and composed, not just in life but on the job as well. And Jaime being the laid-back guy who’s just a darn good chef but may carry his own baggage of problems that keep him from his happy ending story is just... mah jam.

Link

This one was a lot of fun to do because you don’t really think about Erin Brockovich when you say Brienne of Tarth in terms of character. But when you scratch away the boob jokes and the differences in where they come from, what you find are two hard-working women who fight for justice, so I found that close enough. And it was excuse enough for me to go down the lane of biker!Jaime because... dayum.

Link

Music and Lyrics is an all-time guilty pleasure romcom of mine. It’s so light and easy and I kind of love how everyone is basically a bunch of awkward losers. All the more perfect for Jaime as a singer (we need that in our lives after the infamous video Nik was in to sing to us about global warming...) and Brienne as the unexpectedly gifted songwriter. What I like about the moodboard per se is how the color scheme turned out because it’s all warm and bright and... makes me happy.

Link

Very much in contrast to the former stands this one. I still love the overall mood of it and I dig the story idea because I dug both The Prestige and The Illustionist because they presented something dark yet very different, which made it all the more appealing to put into a moodboard for me. While not the most well-known moodboard of mine, I keep going back to it time and time again to basically lust at all the illusions and magic and drama. And blue butterflies.

Link

What is there not to love about a Pacific Rim AU for JB, am I right? Right?! JB ain’t just compatible when it comes to the Drift, yo, that’s all I’m gonna say. Reasons why I like the moodboard a lot is that it’s very different, flashy colors, gigantic robots, and I was mostly alright with how the edits turned out. It is tough to get images that fit the angles, yo.

Link

Jumping back in time once more, I really adore this one even though it’s not one of my popular moodboards. I dug the fusion of elements from Cinderella Man while granting Brienne as the female lead more space to develop as a character and make her a badass sniper nurse who is about to get her doctor’s degree. And Jaime doing anything to make it work because he owes her a debt (and his love) by boxing his way to their shared life is just... nice.

Link

Another supposedly lesser known moodboard is this one, though I really adore it for its premise and the amount of work I put into it (all the giffing and moodboarding). I also found use for that image of Gwen with what looks like the veil of a nun, which was probably what had me inspired in the first place lol. The plot bunnies revolve less around Se7en and more the novel El ùltimo Catón (2001) because it has a nun solving a mystery revolving around Dante’s works. But Se7en gives us the Seven, which is a delicious parallel too hard to ignore. For me at least. If only I knew how to write crime, dammit.

Now, to move more into the serial (smooth transition from serial killer to serial TV shows, I know, I know) way of life, here is some moodboards inspired by TV shows (although some have since gotten movies which I also took inspiration from... yadda):

Link

Childhood memory galore. I spent many weekends watching The A-Team with the whole family. When the movie came out, I was happy about the feels it gave me (and the “you spin my head right round” scene still cracks me up more often than it should). Either way. I found it absolutely necessary for Jaime to be Face, for Tyrion to be Hannibal, for Bronn to be B.A. and cuss at everyone and everything and Brienne giving us the strangest genderbend of a Howling Mad Murdock. It added some angst, which I always need because I am a thirsty hoe for it. In case no one noticed yet. Ha.

Link

This one is very remotely inspired by The Bletchley Circle and the Imitation Game (because both feature encryption and one features Charles Dance already, yo.) I just really dug the idea of Brienne being so good at this because she is such a straight thinker but being underestimated because “she a woman.” And of course her not being done just encoding messages but getting into action, very much to the dismay of the stupid soldier wanting to defend the bae from harm. What could possibly go wrong? Right. A lot.

Link

Then. Elementary. Let me count the ways in which I love that show... ALL THE WAYS. And I really dig it as a JB AU. I have so many thoughts and feelings, I can’t even begin to tell you. I especially had my fun basically making Jaime Sherlock without making him really Sherlock because that guy was the one who taught him how to be an investigator before disappearing and fucking up his life for bad. And Brienne as the army doctor turned sober companion turned private investigator turned love interest is just too delicious to ignore.

Link

Pants down I mean hands down, this may be the actual favorite (currently) amongst them all for the plain reason that I also grew up watching that series and still watch it and keep obsessing about it. Ever since Discovery launched and has since given me both joy and grief, I found myself intrigued by the premise of a JB Star Trek AU where Brienne would be standing *with* the Klingons during the war around the time Discovery takes place, and Captain Jaime Lannister having lost far too much to this war already to truly trust anyone, even less so a woman who ran to the Klingons, for what it seems.

You would not believe how many ideas I have for a fic based on it. You wouldn’t believe that I basically have a sequel to that fic already in mind. And you would definitely believe, knowing me, that I am nowhere near writing that fic. But a fangirl can dream and moodboard, right? The moodboard was such a fun way of going about it, not only for the edits but because I could sneak some secret Klingon messages in there. :)

Now, on to the last part, which are the moodboards not inspired by movies or TV shows primarily but really just spewed out of my wacky, wacky brain:

Link

This has a special place in my heart because it combines military and the traumas it comes with for JB and.... the aesthetic of farming. And both finding a kind of peace they didn’t know they were looking for as they struggle to adjust and find their way back “to normal” after the horrors they have both seen in war. And did I mention the aesthetic? And Jaime in plaid? All dirty and sweaty? Do I have to say more?

Link

Why this one? Because it combines angst and romance and falling in love twice because DESTINY. And paintings. I love me my artist AUs. So that was my go at it, combining it with the “mystery” to be uncovered about what history Jaime and Brienne actually share as he tries to put his memories back together. Also. This moodboard gave me opportunity to try out new filters and create JB paintings. :)

Link

This one’s gotta be on the list since I also added the Horse Whisperer. Now it’s Dog Whisperer Jaime and Brienne who won’t give up on her dog who’s seen some shit in the warzone (as did she, but Brienne will put it all aside for her doggish best buddy, of course). While it’s not a very popular moodboard of mine, I really enjoy the premise of it and how the dynamics can so easily change between the two of them if you see it in comparison to the Horse Whisperer AU. Also. I just really think Jaime is a total pet person.

Link

Another lesser known moodboard, I’d assume, but I really dug the premise of it (still do), and it was intriguing to do some edits to make Jaime’s hand *truly* golden lol. With people having developed strange mutations which aren’t nearly as much fun as they are in Fantastic Four AUs. What I liked about it was the idea that Brienne would have a kind of mutation/ability that links to the mind, since she is such a physically strong fighter that she may rather rely on that than on her own mind, fearing that she cannot control that with discipline the same way she can train her body with it. What unites the two is their strong wish to protect the people in their care, in a world on the verge of collapse forcing two unexpected allies together (okay, I totally expected it, but they didn’t). Either way. Much love for this one. :)

Link

Aaaand the last one (not of all the ones I made but the ones I picked for Gwenspiration). I really, really, really adore this one because I was so happy with how the aesthetic turned out and how the colors all match. And I dig the premise. Like holy moly do I dig it deep. Jaime and Brienne both serving in military, but on different fronts, and almost accidentally ending up writing each other letters? I mean... the PINING. And Brienne having to decipher Jaime’s chickenscratch. Yeah no, but for real. I just love the idea so much. That they are both committed to the cause while also yearning for a home, for peaceful times, for sweet, sweet love. And them meeting up and acting like stupid teenagers, only for drama to keep hitting because. It’s eh me angsty Wacky.

Either way. I dig the premises of a lot of my moodboards (in fact... basically all of them or else I wouldn’t be making them, I guess). I spared you listing all of them, though I listed a whole damn lot already. Moodboards are an awesome means for me personally to visualize and (re-)imagine. And since quite a few people seem to continue to be onboard with them, I am all the happier to keep making them.

That’s all for today.

Much love! ♥♥♥

*flies away*

#gwenspiration #jaime x brienne #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #game of thrones #wacky tries moodboards #and talks about them a lot

58 notes · View notes

trillian-anders · 4 years

Text

amor de mi vida - 1939

pairing: bucky barnes x latinx!reader

warnings: slow burn, racism, prejudice, fluff, language barrier

word count: 5805

description: Bucky Barnes is a sweet young Brooklyn boy, just on the cusp of manhood, a hopeless romantic that falls in love with almost every girl he sees. when he sets his eyes on a young girl fresh off the boat from Cuba he finds out how hard love can really be.

for @cake-writes 1940s challenge.

Bucky loved Brooklyn, he loved everything about the borough. The Dodgers, the noise, the diner down the street from his house that made the best cherry pie he’d ever had, he even loved the way it smelled. The salty breeze from the that rolled in every morning and evening, the Statue of Liberty lighting up the bay. He was a Brooklyn boy through and through, even if his birth certificate said he was born in Shelbyville, Indiana. His parents moved here before he could even remember, Brooklyn was all he knew.

He was on the cusp of manhood. The final years of his schooling before he was ready to take on whatever life threw his way. He didn’t have any expectations. To him it was so simple. Take up more hours in his Dad’s shop, find a beautiful dame, get married, pop out a few kids, have everything his parents ever had and everything they ever wanted for him. He felt so young, full of hope and ready. Ready for anything.

Munching on crackerjack he sat, feet swinging on the edge of pier five, his best friend sketching idly next to him. He tried to ignore the younger boy’s rattling breaths. He was fine, those breaths were normal for him, that’s all that mattered. Steve had recently had a pretty bad scare, when his Ma came down with TB and passed there had been a big concern that the sickly boy had caught it from her. There was quarantine and Bucky thought he was going to lose the best friend he’d ever had.

Thankfully that wasn’t the case.

The pair sat in a comfortable silence, the kind that comes with years of companionship. Just the company soothing them from their day. A test in math, the girl that just broke Bucky’s heart, another girl that wouldn’t pay Steve any mind. Bucky’s eyes drifted to his friend’s sketchpad, the Manhattan skyline taking shape slowly but steadily.

It was warm, the beginning of summer. The switch from wearing sweater vests to short sleeve button downs, wool socks traded in for more breathable cotton. Bucky leaned back on his hands, feet swaying slightly over the edge of the dock watching the ship moving slowly in the water towards Ellis Island.

“I wonder what it must be like,” Bucky said, “To leave your entire life behind and go somewhere completely new.” Steve’s pencil stopped on the page, looking over at his friend.

“Must be scary,” Steve started, “Not knowing anyone I mean.” Bucky hummed in agreement.

“Ma said she’s gonna make meatloaf tonight,” Bucky stood from the dock, helping his friend to his feet, “You’re comin’ to dinner right?” Steve nodded, stuffing his sketchbook into his bag. “Good, cause you really didn’t have a choice there pal.” Bucky’s arm swung over Steve’s shoulder, dragging the smaller boy behind him as they hopped into the junker that was Bucky’s pride and joy.

The 11 year old Ruxton he’d found rusting away in a scrap yard last year, totaled in an accident and discarded. He’d only recently gotten it back up and running, but it was still a terrifying ride. He dared not take it farther than a few city blocks, but it was still nice to drive. They pretended like they were rich folk above it all, driving the recently painted sleek black car down the streets, wind in their hair only because the windows wouldn’t roll up.

The next day Bucky fell in love again, and he couldn’t even remember who broke his heart yesterday. Dorothy Seeley. A beautiful blonde dame, bright green eyes, legs for days. She was in his english class. He could see a future with her, something Bucky always wanted. He could imagine loving her forever, her pretty pink mouth pressed against his in his car because he had one, and that made him special. Better than the other boys.

He was sweet on her, doting, for days. A trip to Coney Island that left him broke, the drive-in, burgers and fries at the diner by his house. Steve in tow. Always.

He was leant up against the side of his car, Dot pressed against his chest as they exchanged a soft kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked. She grinned, lips parting like petals around shiny white teeth.

“You’re keen on me Barnes.” Holding his hand and stepping back, her skirt twirled around her legs.

“Is that a bad thing?” He grinned, his own pearly whites showing. He could feel Steve rolling his eyes from inside the car.

“Tomorrow then,” He pulled Dot in close to land one more cheeky kiss before she was skipping up the steps into her family’s brownstone, and out of sight. Bucky’s grinning face turned around to look at his friend, slipping into the driver’s seat.

“I’m gonna marry that girl.” He said.

Steve rolled his eyes, “You say that about every girl.”

“I mean it this time,” Bucky assured him, pulling the car away from the curb.

Steve laughed, “You say that too.”

Bucky’s family wasn’t rich, but they weren’t poor either. His Ma would always say, “We have just what we need.” And it was true.

Bucky was the eldest of five, the only boy with four younger sisters, each spaced two years apart. The youngest being his favorite, but he’d never tell the other three.

Rebecca Barnes was his partner in crime, the sweet girl looked most like him, at only nine years old she was a spitfire. Full of attitude and sass, almost always covered in dirt, and easily conned both him and his father into giving her penny candy on almost a daily basis.

Susan Barnes was eleven and extremely smart, she’d often help her older siblings with their homework, studying. She almost always had a book in her hand and could recite Shakespeare off the top of her head.

Ruth Barnes was thirteen and hated everyone and everything. It was just that age. She was experimenting with makeup, almost always on the telephone, and generally didn’t speak to anyone in the house unless she absolutely had to. Talking to her lately was just about as hard as pulling teeth.

Lastly was Virgina Barnes, she was fifteen and much to her father and brother’s chagrin was a little boy crazy. Bucky was sure she was dating someone she wouldn’t bring around to the house, he’d often spy on her in the halls of their high school trying to catch a glimpse of who the punk was that had necked with his sister, but so far she’s been sneaky and kept out of sight.

His parents were still very much in love. The two were always touching, kissing, slow dancing to music that wasn’t there. It was everything Bucky ever wanted. His mom, Winnie Barnes, came from money. Old money and his grandpa every rare time they saw him would be sure to make it known that he didn’t like their father.

George Barnes had grown up pretty poor, very wrong side of the tracks. He’d fought in the War to End All Wars in the 107th, met Winnie Barnes when she was a nurse. Real classic story. One Bucky loved hearing.

His Pops owned his own shop now, one of the only mechanics in Brooklyn which kept him pretty busy, but provided well for his family if their four bedroom brownstone was anything to say for it. Bucky parked the car outside the garage, men laughing, radio playing, he could see his Pops sitting in the back office, pencil behind his ear, looking over the books.

“You gonna be good from here pal?” Bucky asked Steve. The smaller boy nodded,

“Probably gonna walk around for a bit before going home.” Bucky wished Steve would take up his offer and come stay with them for a while, but the kid was too proud for that. He was currently living alone in a small apartment, selling funnies to the local paper.

“If you need anything I’ll be here until seven probably, then I’ll be home.” Steve nodded, backing away.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow.” With a wave he was off, disappearing down the street.

Bucky worked hard. As he was expected to. He was his father’s only son and George Barnes put a lot of pressure on his son to be a good example, not only for his sisters, but for the other guys that worked for him. He worked, and he worked hard. His hands had become calloused over the years, having worked in the shop since he was old enough to hold a wrench, he knew almost everything there was to know about fixing cars.

His father believed that a good red blooded American man should know how to do three things. Auto work, Wood work, and wife’s work. He should be able to fix a car, fix the house, and keep his wife as happy as possible. It was ingrained into him since he could barely see over the hood, his father’s words ringing in his ears.

“Keep your wife happy, the roof strong, and dinner on the table.” He said, “As long as you do those three things you’ll have a good life.” A life like his. Despite the hollowness of his eyes sometimes and the extra beers before bed.

“It was the war”, his mother told him once, “Sometimes it just catches up to him.” Bucky wouldn’t understand that, not for a while.

“Jaime.” His pops called him into the back office, a wrapped parcel on his desk. “Run this down to the post for me woulda? They sent us the wrong part, sendin’ it back for an exchange.” James nodded,

“You need anythin’ else while I’m out?” His father’s eyes, blue like his, peeked up over the lenses of his readers,

“Grab me a soda pop woulda?” A couple of cents placed into his hand and he was out the door, walking down the sunny streets to the post office three blocks away. There was a corner store next to it where he’d pop in and get his Dad a cola with enough change to grab himself one as well and he’d be on his way back. That was until his eyes landed on the girl peering into the store window in front of the said corner store, brows pulled tight in confusion.

Her skin was beautifully caramel, dark hair and lips painted red. She was in a soft linen dress, buttoned front, low heels, roses stitched onto the sides. She was a sight. One that made his heart stop in his chest and his mouth drop open wide enough to collect flies. Her dark brown eyes and perfectly curled hair made his hands tremble. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his uniform pants, looking at himself in a car’s side mirror and fixing his hair before approaching.

“Whatcha lookin’ for doll?” The young woman jumped, turning to face him, perfectly plucked brows raised in alarm. “Sorry,” He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He saw the girl take a step back, he was blowing it. “It’s just not everyday that you see such a beautiful dame such as yourself.” You worried your bottom lip. “Sorry,” He took a step back from you. “That was corny I just…”

“Lo siento,” [I’m sorry] You said, “No puedo hablar ingles.” [I can’t speak english] His face dropped slightly and he took a step back. He didn’t know what to do here, he looked at the window and back at you.

“James.” He said, pointing to himself, then pointing a finger at you,

“Y/N.” You replied, figuring out what he meant. He pointed to the store.

“Store?” You looked at him confused. “Uhm…” He put his hands on his hips and looked inside, holding a hand out to you and pointed at the sign of the shop, “Store?” You looked at him skeptically, taking his hand and letting him bring you inside. He’d walked to the ice box in the back, pulling out two cola’s as he watched you pick up a loaf of bread, looking at him nervously. He tried to smile at you reassuringly but you didn’t seem to feel comfortable still. He took the change out of his pocket, counting out the coins. He had just enough for his two cola’s, not room for much else as he walked you to the counter. If he’d had enough he woulda bought the bread too.

The shop keep seemed to glare at you, which confused Bucky. He looked between the guy at the counter and back to you behind him, placing his two colas on the counter, having the guy ring him up. “Have a good day,” the man told him, Bucky watched as the girl placed the bread loaf on the counter. The man glared at her, not moving. “No sale.” He said.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, you looked between the two nervously. “Here.” Bucky took the coins from her open palm, and tried to hand them to the shop keep. He glared back at Bucky.

“We don’t take their money here.” He said sternly, pointing to the sign behind him. Bucky had been in this shop almost five times a week and never noticed that sign before. ‘WHITES ONLY’ in big bold lettering. Bucky looked back at you and while he figured you couldn’t understand english you at least could feel that you weren’t wanted here. Suddenly your nervousness made sense.

“It’s my money then.” Bucky said, slapping the coins on the counter. “Let her buy the damn bread.” The shop keep stood from the stool he was resting on, leaning over the counter.

“Get out.” By the time Bucky realized he was talking to you and not him you’d quickly walked out of the store and back onto the street. He’d quickly grabbed the loaf of bread, coins still discarded on the counter and followed you out.

“Wait! Y/N!” He called, catching up to you. “Here.” You looked at him, brows pulled skeptically together before taking the bread from his hands. “I’m sorry about that guy, he’s usually so nice I-” Bucky bit his lip, he was unsure what else to say. Nothing he said made any sense to you anyway. He couldn’t say anything regardless as you gave him a funny look and slowly walked away from him, turning your eyes away as you crossed the street.

He stared after you longingly and confused. He’d heard people speak spanish in passing. Guys that worked in the factories near the docks. He wasn’t ignorant to that. He just never really gave much thought to them. They were in a different world than him, it didn’t matter as much. But you’d struck him. The way the shopkeep had treated you struck him. He’d never seen a pretty girl treated that way. Usually guys would bend over backwards for a girl like you, but to be fair, Bucky never had a reason to think about skin color.

It’s not that he didn’t see it, he just never cared. He’d heard whispers of people being irritated at the growing hispanic population in Sunset Park, but never really gave it much thought. It never crossed his mind. He had other things to worry about at the time, a girl to love, a friend to protect.

The sweating colas in his hands reminded him that he had somewhere to be, and you’d long since disappeared around a corner. Gone from his sight. He was quiet that night at dinner, suspiciously so.

He didn’t see you again for three months, the end of summer drawing near, the days just beginning to get shorter. He’d been walking around Sunset Park occasionally, looking for you, under the guise of a stroll. Steve thought it was strange, his newfound obsession.

“I’m gonna marry her Stevie.” He’d said. He knows he’s said it before,

“I mean it this time.” He said that before too. “But you didn’t see her Stevie.” He grinned as the pair walked around the neighborhood for the first time, “She was more beautiful than Aphrodite.” Steve rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure how many times he’s walked this neighborhood looking for you, but he told himself he’d do it every night if it meant he’d find you again.

School had ended, he was working full time at his Dad’s shop now, little time for extracurriculars, the dance halls missed him, his favorite waitress asked Steve about him all the time, and he hadn’t seen a movie since the last time he went with Dot almost 3 months ago. All of his energy had gone into working and on his days off with Steve, looking for you. He thumbed through the spanish phrasebook he’d spent a pretty penny on, pages dogeared with things he might try to say to you when he saw you next.

If it ever happened.

He was beginning to lose hope, truth be told. Maybe you’d moved away. Maybe you were in the neighborhood visiting someone and didn’t even live nearby. It wasn’t until he’d taken a street down in the factory district on his day off that he saw you again.

You were just as beautiful as he’d remembered, hair pinned under a cap, lips painted red, you were wearing another linen dress, flowers stitched around the skirt and on the lapels. You were leaving a dress factory. That’s where you must’ve worked. He watched you twirl in your dress, laughing at something another woman had said to you. The gaggle of them speaking such quick Spanish that the few phrases he studied didn’t even make sense to him anymore.

He swore his heart stopped in his chest when your eyes met his, a firm blush spreading across your cheeks. Bucky, the hopeless romantic that he is, would tell everyone that time stood still. There you were, he would say, his future wife. Pin Curled and sweet, dark lashes and rose petal lips waiting for your first kiss. Like you’d been made for him. He would say that in that moment the stars aligned and brought you to him.

He was a sucker like that.

Steve had stopped a few steps ahead of him, noticing that his friend wasn’t following, the group of girls you had been walking out with also stopped, looking between the two of you and giggling at the sight. One girl pushed you forward and you turned to glare at her saying something to her that Bucky couldn’t hear. He took one step forward and then another, thumbing through the pages of the book and swallowing heavily, hands sweating. He’d never been this nervous talking to a dame before, never. He raised the book to his eyesight, glancing at you before looking back down at the page,

“Lo siento,” [I’m sorry] He said in just about the worst pronunciation you’d ever heard, the girls behind you giggled and you shushed them with a perfectly red lacquered hand, he smiled nervously continuing, “Eres tan hermosa,” [You are so beautiful] He flipped a couple more pages not being able to find what he wanted to say next when you gently grasped his wrist, smiling at him.

“James.” His heart almost dropped out of his ass as you said his name for the first time, “Hello.” Very heavily accented and you bit your lip with insecurity.

“Hi.” He breathed. He looked back down at his book, finding what he wanted to say next, “Te estaba buscando.” [I was looking for you.] His pronunciation was horrible and he knew it. But the thought was still there.

“Uhm…” You looked at him nervously, the girls were sure to gossip about this later. This white man who was holding a Spanish phrase book telling you about how you were beautiful and he was looking for you.

“Y/N!” Came a yell, Bucky watched an older woman approach, she looked so similar it had to be your mother, “Que haces con este hombre blanco?” [What are you doing with this white man?] The older woman gripped your arm, looking at the girls behind you, “Veta a casa.” [Go home.] She spat to the other girls, glaring back at Bucky as you looked at him apologetically. He caught a few words. He knew casa meant home, he also knew blanco meant white. But he was unsure about the rest.

Steve stood awkwardly off to his side, a silent witness to this strange situation. “That’s her I’m guessing?” The little shit grinned next to him. Bucky turned to his friend, matching his grin.

“Yeah.” His heart was still racing, “And now I know where she works.” He looked up at the tall factory building next to them.

He looked around the flower shop, the various blooms staring back at him. He wasn’t sure what to get, what you would like. Roses were maybe too presumptuous and a little too expensive “Can I help you?” The older woman asked him. She was wearing an apron over her plaid dress, hands brown with dirt. Bucky smiled softly,

“I’m a little lost here,” He admitted. The older woman smiled,

“What’s she like?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets looking over the blooms.

“Perfect?” He offered, laughing, “But beautiful, sweet…” His eyes scanned the arrangements around him, “I don’t have a whole lot to spare, but…” The older woman nodded, understanding.

“You could always do a single stem,” The older woman plucked a beautiful red flower from an arrangement, “If she’s as sweet as you believe, she’d be more than happy with it.” A peony. Vibrant red. Like your lipstick.

He waited outside the factory for you. Hair slicked down, he wore a tie, his work uniform stuffed in the backseat of his car. He hoped you wouldn’t notice that he smelled a little like motor oil under his cologne. He barely made it before the door opened and his palms immediately sweat in a Pavlovian response. The anticipation of seeing you.

Your dress was yellow this time. Stunning against you skin, yellow and white plaid. He wondered if every color was made just for you. Your eyes immediately met his this time, a shy smile spreading across your face. He timidly stepped a foot closer,

“Hello, James.” In your beautiful broken English.

“Hola.” Your nose crinkled when you smiled. “Oh, here.” The vibrant red peony being handed over to you, you twirled the stem between your fingers as he pulled the well worn book from his pocket. “Uhm.. Te ves hermosa hoy.” [You look beautiful today] He looked at you for your response, a red dusting on your cheeks as you held the flower up to your nose.

“Es guapo.” [He’s handsome.] One of the girls teased you to which your eyes widened and you turned to glare at her, shooing her away.

“Has estado practicando?” [Have you been practicing?] You bit your lip knowing he probably wouldn’t understand that. “How,” You started, “are you?” He grinned, he could respond to this one. Flipping back,

“Muy bien, como estas?” [Very well, how are you?] It took him a bit too long to say four words, but the smile on your face was worth it.

“Bien,” [Good.] You replied.

“Away!” You mother was back, standing in front of you this time, looking into Bucky’s face. His cheeks flushed. “Go away!” Your mother’s english was worse than yours, the words coming out thick and accented he almost didn’t understand. “Mantente alejado de ella.”[Stay away from her] She was scary, your mother. He looked to you for help, fingers nervously moving against the spine of the book in his hand.

“El es una madre inofensiva.” [Mama, he’s harmless.] You explained, but your mother’s face turned red, turning fully to you she said,

“Él te arruinárá.” [He will ruin you.] Her voice was tense and Bucky couldn’t begin to understand what she said as he watched her drag you away again. But it was fine, he was back tomorrow to try again.

And he tried again, and again. It became a constant. He was spending $1.30 every week on flowers, considering he was only making $25 a week working for his Dad it was a good chunk of his money. He’d show up with a red peony for you every day. The girls, he knew, were making fun of him but the five minutes in between when you’d get off of work and when your mother would get off of work were the best part of his entire day. He was showing up even on his days off, rain or shine.

Today he felt victorious, your mother hadn’t yelled at him. She simply looked at him and raised an eyebrow to you saying, “El no se rinde.” [He doesn’t give up.] With a smile and laugh. She pulled you away a little more gently that time, taking a look back at him and shaking her head.

“You know it’s going to be hard,” Steve said to him once.

“What do you mean?” Bucky bit into the burger Frankie, the waitress, had just put in front of him. His favorite burger at his favorite diner, he’d have to bring you here. Maybe the two of you could split a milkshake. He wondered if you’d ever had a chocolate malt. Steve looked at him incredulously,

“I can’t tell if you’re dumb or blind.” He’d slipped a picture from his sketchpad over, a picture he’d sketched of you for Bucky. His heart fluttered at the sight, tracing your jaw.

“She’s it for me pal, nothing complicated about it.” The temperature had just begun to drop, a hot August ending. Fall was sweeping through the city, Steve was just starting art school, Bucky was pulling overtime at the shop saving up cash to move out and start his life. Hopefully with you.

“Buck.” Steve sighed, “You know I have no problem with it, but…your parents, literally almost everyone else… it’s illegal.” Bucky paused, a few fries in his mouth.

“It’s not technically illegal in New York.” He knows, he looked it up. “Just not…”

“Not approved of.” Steve finished for him. He sighed heavily, sitting back in his seat. “It’s gonna be difficult, pal.” Bucky shook his head,

“Nuthin’ could be difficult when I have her,” A sip of soda, “Nuthin.”

The next day when Bucky showed up with his flower your Mother was already waiting for him when he pulled his car up. He finally got the windows working. She knocked heavily on his window before he’d even pulled the keys out.

“Come.” She said, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to a man, a scary one by Bucky’s count, who was standing where he’d usually wait for you. “Preguntarle.” [Ask him.]

The man was hispanic, but not old enough to be your father. Your brother maybe? “She wants to know what you keep doing here.” The guy’s English was perfect, his voice gruff and accented, but perfect.

“I’m…” Bucky started nervously, “I want to date her daughter.” The guy scoffed, making Bucky feel like an idiot standing there with his one flower.

“Él quiere llevarla a una cita.” [He wants to take her out on a date] The older woman scoffed as well. He smiled sheepishly. She looked at Bucky, studying him for a moment, “Dile que Y/N no es un juguete.” [Tell him Y/N is not a toy.]

“She’s not a toy,” The man said, he looked at the older woman before continuing on his own, “Look, Y/N is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but it’s never going to happen. Your kind is not allowed with our kind.” Bucky felt anger rising in his chest. The man lay a hand on his shoulder heavily, “I’m saying this honestly, if you care about Y/N in any way you’ll back off. You’ll ruin her reputation with our people if you keep showing up here. The women are already gossiping about you showing up here everyday.”

“This is about her being Spanish?” Bucky asked.

“She’s Cuban.” The guy explained, “You are privileged enough to pretend not to care about race, but this is only an obsession, you’ll ruin her reputation and leave her when you find someone of your own kind to be with.” The man’s grip on Bucky’s shoulder tightened, a warning. “Get back in your car and don’t come back. If you do, our conversation may not be so pleasant next time.”

Bucky looked to the older woman with pleading eyes, pulling the Spanish phrases book from his pocket, but before he could find anything the man across from him snatched it from his fingertips. “I said go.”

Bucky wanted to pummel him. He wanted to punch the guy right in the jaw, but he didn’t. He’d find another way to see you. He’d figure something out. The flower in his hand dropped to his passenger seat as he sat heavily behind the wheel, staring out at the doors to the factory. You walked out just in time to see him drive away.

Nueva York. That’s what your Mother called it. A new start in America where anything could happen. Your belly had never been that full before. There were no jobs in Havana. Less and less by the day. Your nimble fingers had always been useful as a seamstress, but the less money people have, the less money they had to spend paying someone else to fix their hemlines for them. Your Mother and you moved here in the beginning of the summer, hopeful for a new life.

And you found one.

The neighborhood of Sunset Park had a growing Hispanic community the two of you had quickly nestled yourselves in. A small one bedroom apartment became your home. The two of you not needing much space. You’d quickly found factory work through a neighbor. Not exactly a seamstress, but you did spend 12 hours a day hunched over a sewing machine. Pennies saved and eventually you’d have enough money to live comfortably. You might even have enough to get a new bolt of fabric to make you and your Mother some dresses. Maybe.

The only thing you had to look forward to every day were the few minutes watching a handsome man trip over his words, speaking broken Spanish to you and flipping, very endearingly through a book trying to have a conversation.

It’d gotten a little easier lately, a boy in your apartment building helping you and your Mother learn English and with James practicing his Spanish you’d been getting a little farther past ‘how are you’s in the past week or so. The growing collection of dried flowers in your closet was becoming alarming, the row of dead peonies hanging by their stems, but you didn’t have the heart to throw them away.

That’s maybe why it hurt so much when you’d exited work today, waiting to see the blue eyed boy that made your heart flutter in your chest, and saw him driving away. Your Mother and Mateo staring at the back of it. “Qué hiciste?” [What did you do?] Neither of them answered you, sharing a look.

Your eyes met the back of the fading car once more, longing in your chest, eyes prickling with tears. “Vamos,” [Come on] Your Mother called, beginning down the street. You sent a steely glare to Mateo, turning to follow her away, his large footsteps following.

When you first came to America almost five months ago both you and your Mother were enamored with Mateo. She’d teased that you’d found a husband the first day you’d moved in, but the more time you spent with him the less you liked him. He worked a taxi service, one his family started. They had a good amount of money, promising, is what your Mother had said. He could provide for you. But he was pompous. He thought because he had a little bit of money he was running the whole block. His ego soured your opinion of him. If it wasn’t for the fact he was helping you learn English you would have closed your door to him a long time ago.

Your Mother didn’t want this life for you. Truthfully she’d brought you to America so you’d marry, find a nice Cuban boy and settle down. Let him provide for you. Take care of her grandchildren God willing. It wasn’t as though you didn’t want that life. You wanted to marry, you wanted love. You loved children and always wanted to be a mother but the most important thing to you was love.

When James approached you that first time you were confused, yes. You hadn’t understood a word he said. But he was handsome and he made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You felt as though his blue eyes could drown you, like a siren’s call, you’d lost yourself in them. But you’d found yourself embarrassed at the counter when the man was angrily talking to him. James was animatedly arguing back, in words you didn’t understand. Taking the eight cents you’d had for bread and slamming them on the counter.

You’d been surprised when he’d actually left successfully with the bread, you had been peering for the sign the shopkeeper had pointed to before he’d actually drug you in the store, and your stomach dropped when you’d found it while inside. You should have known you weren’t welcome in that part of town. A little too far outside of your little barrio.

You’d like to think it was fate, God ordained. You’d thought about it again when you saw him outside the factory for the first time. He was nervous, but so were you. You thought it was cute, him flipping through the phrasebook trying to figure out what to say. It warms your heart and every day since you couldn’t wait to see him. He’d even ignored your Mother and kept coming. The collection of red peonies growing by the day.

It broke your heart to see his car driving away from you. And you knew exactly who was to blame.

“No tenes derecho.” [You have no right] You stomped up the stairs next to Mateo. “Deberías mantener tu nariz fuera de oso.” [You should keep your nose out of it]

“Te quiero, Y/N.” [I love you Y/N] His arm gently grabbed your hand, “Please don’t do this.” Your jaw clenched, heart still aching from the sight of James driving away from you.

“I... hate... you.” His hand let go of yours, dropping his to his side as you returned walking up the stairs and entered your apartment, slamming the door behind you.

Germany had just invaded Poland.

taglist // @corneliabarnes @bookish-shristi @saturnki @jennmurawski13 @geeksareunique @albinotigerpython @cake-writes @iheartsebastianstan @000bananaclip000

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #captain america #challenge #the winter soldier #1940s bucky barnes #steve rogers

154 notes · View notes