#If I get top surgery I only want to wear small shorts all day in the summer when it's hot af

[scary-ivy]

For the love of GOD we need to bring back small shorts for men

#If I get top surgery I only want to wear small shorts all day in the summer when it's hot af #...suppose I would also want some tattoos then since I'm not very buff

[chishiyaisasnack]

It’s under my skirt, Doctor

Hello everyone! It’s been a while. I finally got this little thing together, and I hope you all like it.

Disclaimer! This is smut. Stay away if you aren’t of agw or if you’re uncomfortable with the topic. Remember to use protection in real life!

Written and posted on mobile, I apologize for any wierd formatting.

Chishiyas life was work. Long hours, sometimes so long that he didn’t leave the hospital before his next shift. The couch in his office had become soft from where he slept, countless days and nights spent there alone. Not that it mattered, not to him. He liked his job. Kind of. There was nothing else he wanted to do anyway, so filling his life with something that kept his brain occupied and evolving was good enough. Once he stopped caring about all the injustice he focused solely on performing surgeries. The heart was an interresting thing, so small, so powerful. One wrong move and a life could end. Sometimes he wondered what that would feel like. He would never play with a life like that, he wasn’t completely insane, but the thought had showed up once or twice.

This particular shift got his mood turning all over the place. Everyone was whiny, rude and just hard to deal with. Twelve hours of pretending to be respectful was hard enough on the good days.

When he got back to his office he sank down into the couch, contemplating buying new cushions soon because they were starting to get uncomfortable. He needed to get his mind cleared out, to stop thinking about work and kids and parents who he wanted to toss in the trashcan.

A vibration went off in his pocket, making his head hurt just thinking about what they would need him for now. He just wanted to rest. So, when he picked it up and saw the notification on his screen he got pleasently suprised.

Y/N: Hey, sorry to disturb your work but I have a medical issue that I wondered if you could take a look at? I can come over in 10 minutes if that works for you.

He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Normal people didn’t use the words ”medical issue” as a synonym for ”I want to fuck” but it worked very well for the two of them. Chishiya had met her at a work gathering and that turned out to be the best stress reliever he could wish for, and he knew that she used him for that exact same reason. Some might say that they were dating, but the only times they really met in person was just for sex and maybe some lunch afterwards. Chishiya did spend occasional nights at her place since she lived closer to the hospital than he did, and getting his dick wet then sleep in a bed instead of his office couch was a nice change.

Ten minutes later the telltale three knocks on his office door woke him up from his thoughts. Trying not to run to the door in excitement, he stood up, took a deep breath and changed into his normal ’I don’t care about anything’-face before opening it. The ’not caring about anything’-face changed as soon as he saw what was on the other end of the doorframe. He was not prepared for her standing there, panties hanging from slender fingers on one of her hands and her head cocked to the side. The skirt she was wearing was short and flowy, almost revealing what was, or rather what wasn’t underneath it.

”Eager are we?” Chishiya welcomed her in a smug voice, trying to hide the mess his head was already in. She winked at him in response.

”You usually don’t have very long so I thought I’d be prepared.” She walked straight to him, put the underwear in the chest pocket of his white doctors coat and kicked the door closed behind her. Chishiya could hear the click from the lock but was more interrested in the cleavage that her ”too tight to be comfortable”-top was showing. He didn’t even try to hide that he liked what he saw. He knew she liked it. A finger under his chin woke him up from his thoughts and when he looked up he was met with sparkling eyes full of excitement when she gazed back into his.

”Hmm.. I like how professional you look in this outfit” she purred as she smoothed her hands up his chest until she reached his neck, hands tangling in the blonde strands in the back until his hair tie fell to the floor, one thumb tracing his ear. ”I’d let you examine me any day.”

Chishiya rolled his eyes at her attempt at flirting, but rather than giving her a comeback he reached in and put his hands on her bare thighs, inching further up while he kissed that lovely space between her neck and shoulder that made her whimper every time.

”So, what did you want me to take a look at?” Chishiya murmered teasingly into her ear. She hummed and moved her hands back down to his shoulders, gripping onto the neck of his coat.

”It’s under my skirt, Doctor.”

In one swift move she grabbed the stethoscope still hanging around his neck and pulled him with her until they both hit the wall behind her, before crashing her lips into his with urgency, and Chishiya returned it with just as much desire as he was given. It was intoxicating, her soft lips, the sweet smell of her perfume, her hands tugging at his hair trying to coax him closer.

His hands went from her thighs to her waist, with just a quick squeeze at her ass first, clenching his fingers in the fabric of her shirt, pulling her even closer so that she could feel that this was affecting him too. His cock was already getting hard, pushing uncomfortably against his pants, but her soft stomach gave great friction whenever she moaned and rubbed herself against him.

Trying to deepen the kiss, she slid her tounge against his lips, making him smile against her whine when he didn’t answer her attempt. He was the one calling the shots and he wanted her to remember that. Instead of giving her what she wanted he pried his lips away from hers and targeted her neck.

The sweet sounds she made whenever his lips caressed her made his head spin. He couldn’t keep his hands still any longer and torturously slow started to inch them up the skin under her top, feeling the way she moved under them, how she was shivering against his touch and how her lungs moved with every heated breath that left her. He knew that undressing her probably wasn’t the best idea in case someone managed to interrupt them, but when he felt her breast under his palms, so soft and squeazable and utterly wonderful to nibble at, his desire to put his face between them took over his rationality. So, after he sucked down on the skin on her shoulder - and grinned at the sour moan she made - he pulled her top off and started his descent down her body. Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard the thump that her head made when she threw it back against the wall but he was far more interrested in the goosebumps that spread under the line he licked down her collarbone. When he finally moved his mouth over her nipple he felt a hand grip his shoulder with a strenght that was sure to leave a mark.

The noises she made went straight to Chishiyas cock. His mind was so clouded by the need to be inside her that he was having trouble keeping his teasing facade in check. Nestling his face in her chest did ground him a bit though, it was the whines that followed it that made him throb in his pants.

”Fuck, Chishiya… lower please” she begged, shivering when he swept his tounge over her other nipple. The gentle squeeze from his other hand earned him another whimper - and a fist in his hair trying to push him further down. He complied with a quiet laugh, loving how aroused she was from just this. Not that he had anything to say about that, he was aching just as bad as she was.

He didn’t bother to take her skirt off, he just held it up with one hand while running the other up her inner thigh, slow and steady so that he could hear her quiet complaints that he took too long.

”Hold it” he commanded, looking at her and then the skirt, nodding towards it to make his point. A shaky hand took a hold of the hem of the skirt and he shifted his focus back to her soft thighs, leading up to her glistening center that he couldn’t wait to be inside. He couldn’t help himself and squeezed the inside of her thigh, thinking about how great it would feel to have them wrapped around him - then laughed at her impatient grunt before giving in and giving her what she asked for.

With one hand he hiked her leg over his shoulder and then he dove in and let his tounge spread her open, loving the wetness he was met with. A cascade of ’yes’-es fell from her mouth as she rolled her hips in time with his tounges movements. A long lick between the folds, flicking over the clit, sucking, kissing, circling… he knew exactly what she liked and he gave it to her. Every time her moans got a little louder he slowed down, dragging out the sensation (and pissing her off just a little just because he could). It was his favourite leisure activity and he could go for hours if he had the time. Unfortunately he didn’t and with a last lick he stopped, her disappointed groan chiming like music in his ears.

He rose to his feet, one hand still lingering on her thigh, the other moving a strand of hair from her face that was so lovely and flushed from desire. There was a hint of irritation from the way her eyebrows scrunched together, but it disappeared when he used the same hand that he just caressed her cheek with to draw a line along her pussy, wet and warm, and so inviting, making her squirm under his touch.

”I want to take my time with you but we’re in a bit of a hurry,” he reminded her. ”Come here.”

Chishiya started walking towards the couch, sat down and patted his lap as an invitation for her to sit.

”I’m tired and have been working all day,” Chishiya playfully told her, watching her eyes roll as she walked towards him, which made him chuckle. He enjoyed how obvious she was with everything and that she didn’t take any of his shit. She was strong and powerful and he wouldn’t have a chance against her wits if she wanted to ruin him. And he didn’t want it any other way.

”You need a new couch” she complained while straddling his lap, knees sinking down too far and throwing off her balance before she put her hands on his shoulder and shuffled her way forward to hover over his length.

”But I really like my couch” he lied, lazily putting his hands on her waist to pretend to help her.

”Sure you do. Take off your pants, or are you too tired to do that to, Doctor?”

For once he hurried, mostly because his dick was aching and he couldn’t wait for it to be inside her. So he moved his pants and boxers out of the way, enough to release his cock. She didn’t waste a second and sank down onto it right away.

Both of them moaned, her from finally being filled and him from finally being hugged by her warm, wet walls. When she started to move, riding him nice and deep, he couldn’t help himself and let his head fall back so he could watch her face as she fucked herself on him.

”Fuck, I’ve been needing this” he groaned as she took him in, Chishiya pushing as far in as he could to savour that warm and tight feeling that her insides gave him. ”You feel so good.”

”Fuck…” was the only answer he got, but it sounded perfect. Breathless and broken, turning into another moan when his cock hit her sweet spot again.

She rode him deep and fast, her wet walls stroking his cock in rhythm with her movements. Desperate to feel more of it, he bucked up into her to bury himself as deep as he could. Her hands was on his shoulders, nails digging deep into his white coat.

Chishiyas hands were everywhere, grabbing her ass hard as she bounced on his lap, sliding up her waist when he went back to rolling her hips, cupping her breasts when he took over and fucked her from below. The bliss on her face drove him on, making him thrust harder and angling his hips so that he hit that spongy spot inside her with every thrust. He could feel her getting close, her insides tightening and clamping down around his cock, stroking the life out of him with it. He wouldn’t last much longer either - he needed her to come so that he could join her. So he slid a hand down to her center, putting two fingers on her clit and started to circle it in time with his thrusts. The loud groan she let out at the sensation made the fire in his stomach grow even more and, fuck, he needed her to orgasm.

”Y/N, come for me,” he hissed and pressed down harder on her clit. ”Fuck, come on my cock.”

And so she did. With a rough moan into his neck he felt her walls clamping down on his cock, so fucking tight, before convulsing around him. Maybe he should have stopped and let her catch her breath but his hips moved at their own will now. He fucked her with desperation, each thrust bringing him closer, until he emptied himself deep inside her. She moaned as he did, rocking her hips to stimulate him more until his cock had stopped twitching.

Chishiyas hands landed on her waist again, this time drawing soft circles on her skin, making her shiver under his touch. Her breath was warm against his neck when she nuzzled her face there. He let her rest on him, he was too satisfied to move anyway. They sat like that until both their breathing had calmed down, and until he had gone soft enough to slip out of - although he didn’t want to. She felt too good. But even he wasn’t able to control his body that much. He had tried.

When she moved it was with shaky legs, tired from overworking them on that dumb couch. He smirked as he helped her up onto her feet, casting a glance on the clock hanging on the wall above his desk. There were still time to have some more fun, and even if his dick was tired, his tounge wasn’t. Standing up next to her he bent in, moved a strand of her hair away from her face, and softly spoke into her ear.

”So, is there anything else you want me to examine?”

#chishiya #my writing #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #aib chishiya #chishiya x y/n #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya smut #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya shuntaro smut #chishiya imagine #shuntaro chishiya x reader #chishiya shuntaro x reader

[sentinelpri]

Self Conscious (NSFW)

Spring in Konoha has never truly existed. While today is the first day of the season, more than anything, it still feels like summer. It’s nothing new to Kakashi Hatake, who has lived in the village his entire life. He’s traveled enough to have experienced other climates, but he’s not too bothered by the ten month long stretches of blistering heat followed by only two months of pleasantly warm weather before it gets uncomfortably hot again. 

He lets out a sigh of relief when he walks into his apartment. The cool air washes over his sweaty skin as he shuts and locks the front door behind him.

Kakashi hears familiar footsteps against the wooden floor and looks to see you turning the corner from the hallway. 

“Hey, sweetie, how did physical therapy go?” You question.

“Fine enough,” Kakashi answers, then sighs. “Boring as always.”

Kakashi walks past you towards your shared bedroom. You follow close behind. He can’t help but notice that you’re wearing a tank top and shorts. He wants to tear them right off of you. However, there’s just one thing stopping him.

A healing hip.

Of all things… Roughly two months ago, he broke his hip on a mission. While incredibly painful and inconvenient, it didn’t require any surgery after Sakura worked on him, which he’s grateful for. What he’s not so grateful for are the weekly physical therapy sessions and the list of restrictions Tsunade has given him to follow while he heals; drink plenty of water, eat only healthy food, rest lots, and worst of all, no strenuous physical activity. 

What that means is no training, and worst of all for you and Kakashi, no sex.

Sure, the two of you can get off in other ways… But Kakashi misses it. As he watches you absentmindedly staring at yourself in the tall bedroom mirror, he wants it more than ever- wants you more than ever. He’s been wanting you so bad that he’s tried to seduce you a few times since the injury regardless of the restrictions he was given by medical personnel. Unsurprisingly, you care too much about him healing properly to let him have his way with you when he still has another month to go before he’s cleared to do anything. 

He sits on the edge of the bed and takes his shoes off, his one visible eye still trained on you. The straps of the tank top you’re wearing slide off of your shoulders. He can see the outline of your breasts and the stiff peaks of your hard nipples through the thin material of the shirt as the chill from the air conditioner blows over your bedroom. Your shorts tightly grip your hips and ride up to show your thighs.

“I’m glad it seems like you’re recovering well,” You grin and walk towards Kakashi so you can sit next to him. “I’m looking forward to next month when you’ll get your medical restrictions lifted.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kakashi looks you up and down before pulling his mask to let it fall loosely around his neck and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. “Come sit in my lap, pretty girl.”

You don’t hesitate- because just like Kakashi, the last two months have left you starved for touch- because even with kissing and cuddling and holding hands, the intimacy of sex is something that the two of you have missed desperately. 

You climb into Kakashi’s lap and put your knees on either side of his hips before leaning in and capturing his lips with your own. Kakashi kisses you back and tilts his head to deepen the connection. Your hands move up and down his body like they’re not sure where they want to go. Kakashi ends up grabbing them and pulling them until they’re gently resting on his neck, your small fingers wrapped around the pale skin, settled but not squeezing.

“Fuck, Kakashi,” You gasp, grinding your short-clad heat down against his stiffening cock and threading your soft fingers through his silver hair.

“I want you,” Kakashi breathes and practically tears your shorts from your body. There’s already a damp patch in the center of your white underwear as he circles your clit through the thin cloth with his fingers and uses his other hand to pull at your tank top. “Please, I need it. Let me have you.”

“You know we can’t,” You argue and break away from him to get off the bed. “You have to heal, Kakashi. Believe me- I want you, too, but I’d hate for two months of physical therapy and recovery on your end to be for nothing.”

Kakashi leans back onto the bed and huffs, his dick rock hard and aching for relief. His eyes flutter shut. 

“Okay.”

“I’m, uh,” You turn your back to Kakashi and go to the small drawer of your dresser to grab a vibrator. Then, you walk over to his side of the bed, press a kiss to his head, and start to walk the other direction. “I’ll just go take care of myself in the bathroom real quick.”

Kakashi sighs again. For the past two months, aside from the occasional oral, you two have hardly done anything- and any time you get yourself off, it’s either in another room or when he’s not home. At first, Kakashi didn’t mind too much, but he can’t help being curious… The two of you have been together for five years and you’ve never masturbated in front of him. Is it weird? He isn’t sure, as you’re his first serious romantic relationship. To him, though, it definitely feels weird. He’s even jerked off in front of you a few times and never thought anything of it.

You, however… Seem to be self conscious about it. 

Maybe he’s the weird one?

“Hey, (y/n),” Kakashi stops you by grabbing your hand.

You startle just slightly before turning to look back at him.

“Hm?” You hum.

“How come you never masturbate in front of me?”

“...Huh?” You tilt your head, a big blush taking over your (s/c) cheeks.

“I think you heard me.”

“Well, I guess I just-” You pause, refusing to look at Kakashi. “I don’t know, I never thought about it before.”

“Yeah?”

Silence… And not the comfortable kind that’s bound to happen between two people who have been together for five years. It’s the uncomfortable kind, the kind that happens when the two of you have an argument or an awkward discussion such as this. To Kakashi, sex isn’t awkward. With you, it never has been. Apparently, though, this aspect of it is awkward to you. The awkwardness is so palpable that Kakashi swears he can smell it in the air as you stammer over your words.

“I guess… I just feel like it’s weird?”

“Do you think it’s weird when I do it in front of you?”

“Well, no, but…”

“But what?”

“You know, with you looking the way you do, of course I wouldn’t mind,” You start to ramble. Your eyes dart between the bedsheets and the hardwood floors. “But you have the figure of a shinobi, and obviously, I don’t, so… I can’t help but be a little self conscious.”

“That’s all?” Kakashi asks, a small smile taking over his face. “I thought I’d done something or… Something. I don’t know.”

“No, you didn’t do anything. Don’t worry about it.”

You turn to walk away again, but before you can, Kakashi speaks up.

“Wait,” Upon hearing his voice, you stop to listen. “It’s important for you to know that I love you, and I’m still really attracted to you despite everything that’s been going on lately. You don’t ever need to be self conscious around me.”

“Oh… Well, that’s sweet of you to say, Kakashi.”

“It’s not me being sweet- it’s true. You’re beautiful,” Kakashi praises you, but he’s not an idiot. He can tell you don’t believe it; that you think he’s just trying to be nice or spare your feelings. Even after years of being with you, he has yet to make sense of why you’re so quick to brush off compliments. “I’ve never in my life wanted another ninja the way I want you.”

“Thank you,” You say with a sheepish smile. “You’re the best at making me feel better, but do you uh… Want me to…?”

“Want you to what?” Kakashi questions, raising an eyebrow. 

“Get myself off in front of you… Like you said,” You answer.

“Oh,” Kakashi blinks, then rushes to give you a good response before you get embarrassed and retract your offer. “Uh, yeah. I think I’d like it if you did, but you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.”

“Okay,” You nod. “I think I’d like to try it soon.”

“Alright, but there’s really no pressure. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, and if we do decide to do it, you can stop at any time, and we can pretend it never happened.”

“Alright,” You say, but still, turn to the master bathroom with your vibrator in hand. “I’ll be right back… We can shower together after, okay?”

“Yeah… Sure.”

When you disappear into the other room, Kakashi sighs and pulls his pants down, wrapping a hand around the base of his length.

‘Another night of this… God, I miss her.’

~

The next day, while Kakashi is at a doctor’s appointment, you go on a shopping spree with some of your friends; Anko, Shizune, Kurenai, and Iruka. Your job as Anbu’s record keeper doesn’t pay an exorbitant amount, but it’s enough for you to comfortably support yourself and still be able to buy nice things, especially since you split your bills with Kakashi these days following his moving in with you.

So, when you pass by the nicest clothing store in Konoha’s shopping district and notice a beautiful (f/c) lingerie set on display in the window, you stop and look at it. 

The price is reasonable enough. It’s on sale, too.

You think back to last night; to that make out session with Kakashi and the awkward conversation that ensued. Maybe it would be nice for you to dress up for him since it’s been a couple months… You read something like that in one of his books once; the woman dresses up in a sexy outfit and sprawls out on the bed for the man to come home to. That seems right up his alley. Why not do it?

It’s a thought that makes you giddy at first, but then the doubt starts to creep into the back of your mind. What if it doesn’t look good on you? What if Kakashi’s turned off by it, or think it’s a stupid idea since the two of you can’t have sex right now? You want to try to please yourself in front of him like he mentioned… You’re just so terrified of him being unimpressed with you that you’re not sure if you can bring yourself to do it, even though he said he’d like it if you would.

You look around at your friends. They’re all shinobi with cut, perfect bodies, just like Kakashi. Beautifully slim waists, toned muscles, long legs, and so much talent. At times like this, you wonder why Kakashi is with a civilian record keeper like you instead of a beautiful kunoichi. You’re a good person, and you certainly don’t think you’re hideous or anything, but it’s difficult to maintain good self-esteem when you feel like you’re constantly surrounded by women who are more gorgeous than you.

Your eyes flicker to the lingerie set once more. You think about how you would look in it, versus how someone like Lady Tsunade would look in it… Obviously, a huge difference.

You’re not ridiculously out of shape- it’s impossible to be when you’re dating someone like Kakashi. Sadly, though, you don’t see yourself as a beautiful kunoichi either.

You frown.

What to do…

Kurenai interrupts your thoughts as she places a soft hand on your shoulder and speaks to you.

“What’s wrong, (y/n)?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” You give a dismissive wave with one hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure? It looks like there’s something on your mind.”

“It’s a bit silly, but… I want that lingerie set that’s on display.”

“Do you not have enough money for it?” Kurenai questions and stops to look at the display as well. Your cheeks burn red as the rest of the group notices and stops as well to gawk at the lacy garment. “I could pick it up for you.”

“Oh, no you don’t, Kurenai! You have a whole kid to take care of,” Anko objects and points to baby Mirai, who’s currently in Kurenai’s arms, babbling at the woman and trying to pull at her dark hair. “I’ll buy it for you, (y/n)!”

“No, no. As the most senior of the group and Lady Tsunade’s personal assistant, I make the most money out of all of us, so I should pay for it,” Shizune inserts herself into the conversation as well and reaches into her pockets to pull out a thick leather wallet.

“Why don’t I buy it?” Iruka offers.

“On a teacher’s salary?” Kurenai says with a quirked eyebrow, shaking her head. “I don’t think so, Iruka.”

“Hey, guys, I appreciate you all trying to help, but I have more than enough money to buy it,” You offer a nervous laugh, then stare at the ground, too embarrassed to meet the curious gazes of your friends. “That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is it?” Iruka turns his head to you and asks.

“I’m just scared it won’t look good on me.”

“You only live once,” Anko argues. “Go buy it or I’m buying it for you!”

“Yeah,” Kurenai agrees. “You’re beautiful, (y/n). (f/c) is a nice color on you, too, so I’m sure it’ll look great.”

“Okay, then… I guess I’ll go ahead and buy it for myself.”

Peer pressured by your friends, you trudge into the store and quickly buy yourself the set- even if you’re convinced you’ll never have the bravery to put it on in front of your lover. 

~

Later that night, you find yourself standing in front of the mirror with tears in your eyes. Kakashi is out with Guy, Asuma, Genma, and Ebisu, doing God knows what- though that’s not the problem.

Rather, the problem is the lingerie set you bought from that store earlier. You’re standing in front of your bedroom mirror with pretty makeup on your face, a sparkly choker around your neck, and your hair done. You look good from the neck up, but the lingerie isn’t working; the bra, the panties, the garters, the matching thigh highs… None of it works. Your sex toys are on the bed, waiting to be used. 

With how insecure you’re feeling right now, you’re sure you’ll end up taking all of this off- including the matching (f/c) nail polish, shoving the sex toys in the back in their designated drawer, showering, and crying yourself to sleep before Kakashi even makes it home. 

“Ugh, this is stupid. Why did I even do this?” You groan, unsatisfied with how the lingerie contours your body. Even though it’s your size, it doesn’t fit quite right. You hate the way it makes your butt look, it’s a little too tight around your hips, and the bra just sucks. No wonder it was on sale… You huff and take the choker off, then start to wipe the makeup from your face when you feel a set of large hands on your waist. The makeup wipe and choker both fall to the floor as you gasp in surprise. You glance at the mirror to see Kakashi standing behind you. “Kakashi! I didn’t hear you come in! When did you get home?”

“Hey, pretty girl,” Kakashi greets you and rests his chin on your shoulder. He completely ignores your question in favor of trailing his hands up and down your exposed body. “What’s all this for?”

“I, um…” With Kakashi appearing so suddenly, you feel caught off guard and are unsure of what to do, even as Kakashi spins you around and pulls you close to his chest.

“Did you dress up just for me?”

“Well, yeah, but it doesn’t look the way I wanted.”

“What do you mean? It looks great,” Kakashi drags his mask down his face and leans down to whisper into your ear at the same time he grabs your ass. “How nice to come home to this after the day I’ve had.”

“Yeah? Did you have a rough day?”

“It was just long. As much as I love them, going out with those guys can be so exhausting sometimes, especially after a doctor’s appointment… I’m really pent up because I just couldn’t stop thinking about you… And about last night,” Kakashi gestures back to the bed with a knowing smirk. “I see your toys out on the bed. Was that your plan?”

You blush from your head to the middle of your chest at Kakashi’s words. You were hoping to get changed and erase any evidence of your plan before he got home, but he actually seems… Pleased?

“Well, um-”

“It’s a simple question, (y/n),” Kakashi reaches for your chin and gently tilts it up to make you meet his gaze. “Give me a yes or no answer.”

“...Yes,” You whisper back.

“You were gonna surprise me, hm? What a good girl.”

“Y-Yeah,” You stutter. You’re unsure of where to put your hands, so you place them on Kakashi’s shoulders as you press a kiss against his neck. “Sorry I didn't finish getting ready before you got here.”

“Are you serious right now? Don’t apologize to me for this,” Kakashi laughs, then quickly shifts. His voice drops in pitch and lust glazes over his one visible eye. “Now, get on the bed.”

“Okay.”

You rush to follow Kakashi’s order so fast that you nearly trip over your own feet. You sit on the bed and crawl back with Kakashi following close behind.

“I know it’s been hard for you since I had my injury. Thank you for being so patient, but I don’t want you to have to keep waiting up on me, even if we can’t have sex for a little longer,” Kakashi reaches forward and rests a hand on your cheek, caressing you so tenderly that it makes your heart throb. “I want… To see and help make you feel good.”

“Kakashi, I don’t think it’s such a good idea-” You object, gesturing to his hip, but Kakashi simply shakes his head and sits beside you.

“I won’t do anything crazy, alright?” Kakashi argues as he hurriedly sheds his clothes. His forehead protector, dark blue undershirt, matching pants, face mask, and boxers are all thrown to the floor with haste. When Kakashi looks back at you, the intensity in his eyes has you swallowing a nervous lump in your throat that you didn’t even know was there in the first place. “I don’t think I can handle another night of you disappearing into the bathroom when I’m right here, dying to take care of you.”

“Then… What do you want me to do?”

“Show me how you like to touch yourself.”

And it’s a little awkward. Part of you is tempted to say no, to get embarrassed and back down, to retreat into the bathroom again. But when you look up at Kakashi’s eyes to see how excited he looks, you remember that he thinks you’re beautiful; that he wants this, wants you.

“Okay.”

You scoot back onto the bed, lay your head on the pillow, sprawl out, and reach between your legs with both hands. Your fingers on one hand toy with your clit, while the fingers on the other hand circle your slick entrance. Kakashi grabs your vibrator for you, turns it on, and pushes it into the hand in front of your clit. You take the gesture for what it is and rub your clit with the tip of the vibrator. A low noise leaves your lips as you tilt your head back and close your eyes.

“Look at me,” Kakashi commands, much to your embarrassment. You open your eyes and look up at his face with a pout. Pleasure starts to rumble low in your body like a base. “Good girl… Are you embarrassed?”

“A little,” You answer, but spread your legs a little more and start to fuck yourself with your fingers at a steady pace. 

“Don’t be,” Kakashi says as he grabs his dick by the base and works it until it’s fully hard. Your mouth waters- you wish he would just fuck you, but you know you can’t. “You’re so beautiful, especially like this… Do you see how hard I am for you right now?”

“Y-Yeah,” You breathe out, because you do. Kakashi’s cock is red and stiff, with precum at the tip and veins lining the length of it. “Want it inside me…”

“That’s too bad.”

Kakashi lightly smacks at your wrist, so you slide your fingers out of your pussy and look at him with curious eyes. He doesn’t speak to you, instead laying down, snuggling into your side, and moving a hand between your legs. He fills you back up immediately by sliding two fingers into your heat. The two are quickly followed by a third before he starts fucking you with them so deeply that the action draws a high-pitched moan from between your lips, which is quickly muffled by Kakashi kissing you.

It’s different from regular sex, or even just Kakashi eating you out. You’re used to his face squished between your thighs, buried in your neck, or staring at your back as he has you bent over; not right next to yours, staring, watching.

The noise in the room only contributes to your arousal; the wet squelch that comes from Kakashi’s digits pistoning into you, the low buzz from your vibrator against your clit, the hums and moans from Kakashi as he quickly moves his hand over his dick. A dribble of precum drips down onto your thighs, and you rub them together in excitement for what’s to come.

With Kakashi hitting your sweet spot and kissing you like he’s starving for you, you’re right on the edge, but there’s something stopping you from cumming like this. Your eyes flutter open and meet Kakashi’s. The tomoe in his Sharingan swirl; a sign that he’s trying to record this moment for himself. You realize that it’s the anxiety. A mental block. You’re so self conscious about being watched that it’s keeping you from finishing, because what if you make a weird face? Or a noise that turns him off?

You break away from Kakashi’s kisses to let out a frustrated groan.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I’m-” You huff, dying for release. “I’m super nervous and it’s- it’s making me take way longer than I usually do to finish like this… I’m sorry if I’m taking too long.”

“Stop. You’re not taking too long at all,” Kakashi scolds you as he continues to pump his cock with one hand and thrust his fingers in and out of you with the other. “If you want to be good for me, you’ll cum, and I don’t care how long it takes... You can take all night if you want, pretty girl. It’s not that different from sex, okay? Take your time.”

You don’t do anything in response except to let out a needy whine, which seems to please Kakashi, who alternates between kissing your neck and tits. His approval- the lack of judgment, the admiration, the utter love and adoration- is what sends you over the edge as you dial your vibrator to the highest setting and arch your back. You cum with a loud cry and fall flat onto the bed. 

Your legs tremble and shake as you pull your vibrator away from your clit and jerk away from Kakashi’s fingers. He’s kind enough to gently slide them out as he paints your thighs white with his cum, his face buried in your neck and your name leaving his lips like it’s a mantra. You pull him close and press a kiss into his sweat-dampened hair. Your eyes flutter open and shut as Kakashi continues to kiss at your neck, worshiping you even after the both of you have finished.

“Kakashi?” You start.

“Hm?” He hums and pulls away from your neck to glance up at you with one charcoal eye and one ruby red one. “What is it, (y/n)?”

“Did you really like that, or did you only want to do it because you thought I’d like it? You know, since we haven’t been able to have sex?”

“Mah, you always overthink everything,” Kakashi grumbles and sits straight up on the bed. “I did it because I thought you’d like it and because I knew I’d like it. It’s like I said before; you’re beautiful. Can you blame me for wanting to watch you a bit?”

Even with Kakashi’s sweet words, you can’t help feeling self conscious… But tonight has made you feel a little better. You don’t know how to respond, so instead, you reach for Kakashi’s hand and hold it within your own.

“Why don’t we go shower and change the sheets?” You ask, gesturing to the wet spots on the bed from what the two of you have just done. “We’re kind of a mess.”

“Sure,” Kakashi answers, standing up and heading towards the bathroom. Before he enters the room, he turns to look at you over his shoulder. “But don’t be surprised if a shower leads to a round two.”

With that, he’s gone into the bathroom, and you can’t help but laugh as you get up and follow after him.

#drabble #drabbles #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto fanfiction #oneshot #kakashi hatake #oneshots #fanfiction #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi x reader #fem reader #female reader

[spectre-does-stuff]

Ok so I have a stardew valley hc and maybe it's a lil wild, a lil wonky, but hear me out:

Transmasc!Sebastian.

Maybe my genders a lil bent (it is) and I'm projecting, but here's my evidence:

-after unlocking the Ginger Island resort, the only bachelors who wear shirts to the beach are Shane and Sebastian. Shane's can be chalked up to a dislike of his body, but for seb... Every other bachelor his age (see: Sam; Alex), is shirtless. He might just be insecure buttt he might be hiding either a binder or top surgery scars.

-perceived/past feelings of rejection could lead to his unwillingness to spend time around friends/family. Any kind of rejection of identity can make me instantly wary of a person; perhaps in the past Abigail or Demetrius was rude/invalidating towards Seb's gender identity in the past, etc.

-during the summer, one of his dialogue options is "I definitely don't want to go swimming, if that's what you're going to ask. Oh, you just stopped to say hi? Sorry." As a transmasc person myself, an aversion to swimming is something I've learned. I'm afraid if bathing suits/skin tight clothing and probably would be even if wearing a binder. Especially if a person wasn't aware of my transness, I think I'd want them never to find out.

-However, once at 10 hearts after receiving the bouquet, "If you ever wanted to go swimming... I guess I'd do it." Is one of his dialogue options, implying that after all this time he trusts the player enough he's no longer scared of swimming around them, and/or that swimming is something he does only with trusted individuals.

-At Ginger Island, he may say, "I usually wear black, but in this heat..." Now of course this is probably meant to be a reference to his emo type style and aesthetic preferences, but a small tip for those who bind is to wear dark colors so there's no risk of their binder showing through sheer clothes, and so the edge of the strap should the binder be black will blend in.

-at 6+ hearts during fall he may say "Who does Demetrius think he is, telling me what to do? He's not even my real father.” perhaps in reference to an attempt at controlling his transition.

-After being married to the player for a minimum of two days, he may say “Living here with you is teaching me to come out of my shell a little bit. I think it's good for me.” This could mean that Sebastian just wanted, or that it's relaxing of him to have someone who never knew him when he was femme presenting. Everyone else in the town has known him his whole life, and there's a high likelyhood he'd be the only trans individual in the whole place. Additionally, George is canon confirmed homophobic (“How can two men get married? It's unnatural... Hmmph. I guess I'm just "old fashioned"...” if the player is male and married to alex). Townsfolk dont seem to have the highest option of Seb, as indicated by There's some weird people living in this town. ...like that guy Sebastian. Why does he wear black all the time? I don't get it.” (Alex).

-frogs. The obsession with frogs is just queerest, most LGBTQIA+ thing I've ever heard.

All in all, is a stretch to say Seb being trans is canon? Absolutely. But! The headcanon is canon conforming, and I will be keeping it.

EDIT: ANOTHER POINT!!

Seb is the shortest bachelor, at around 5'8. Of course, trans men can be tall and cis men can be short, but it's just another bit if evidence for my silly little hc

#stardew valley #stardew sebastian #sdv #transgender #headcanon #just my silly little thoughts #hope you enjoyed my little rant #its 2am #I was playing sdv and just at ginger island doing a bit of grinding #and I see Sebastian in a shirt and no one else #and I go: ???????????? #then I come up with this

[ghostsoapgirl]

Thinkin’ Bout You

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Ghost x Transmasc!Reader

Word Count: 3600

A/N: I hope i did this fic justice. I haven’t written smut in years and as i am not a transmasc person I just hope i portrayed it okay. 

MINORS DNI!!!

Simon’s finger hovered over the call button. It’s been months, if not a year, since he’d heard from you last. What does he say? With out giving it another thought, he presses the button. It rings for only a second before it’s answered.

“Simon!” your voice exclaims loudly. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but the pure joy in your voice was definitely not it. “How are you? God, its been forever.” He allowed you to ramble a bit before he spoke.

“I was just thinking about you, about us, from before.” The soft sigh that leaves your lips has him breathless. God, he’d give anything to have you with him right now.

“Simon,” you speak softly, not sure where he’s going with this. “I always think about you too.” and it’s true. There’s not a day that goes by without him crossing your mind. Your lives were just too different, opposite sides of the spectrum. Your job keeps you in one place while his has him all over the world for indeterminate amounts of time. “How have you been?” He isn’t sure how to answer that so he just does.

“Stressed,” he lets out through a small laugh and your heart soars at the sound. God, you’d give anything to be next to him right now. “I’ve got a few weeks of downtime.” He let that hang in the air. He didn’t want to flat out ask to see you, hoping you’d take the bait and invite him.

“Don’t wanna spend time alone?” You knew Simon, you knew this. It’s how your situationship started in the first place. Simon wasn’t one to ask for things he wanted. Especially if that thing was you. “I’m sure Soap wouldn’t mind the company,” you teased. You’d heard plenty of stories about the duo back when you and Simon could have been considered something. Now though, it had been over a year since you’d even spoke.

“Don’t wanna spend time with Johnny,” he grumbled through the phone.

“What do you want, Simon?” You knew you were pushing your luck and after a long moment of silence, you had to check the phone to make sure he hadn’t hung up. When you saw the call was still connected, you made a humming noise in your throat, hoping it would urge his honesty. Honestly, you weren’t expecting an answer, so you almost missed the mumbled you when he said it. You hesitated briefly, unsure if he’d expand on it. When he didn’t you spoke up again. “Simon.” Spoken so softly he could have missed it but he didn’t. Spoken as an affirmation, an answer in just his name.

“When,” came his gruff reply. You knew you’d pushed him to his limit now so you took pity on him.

“Are you in the states?” When he confirmed he was in fact in the states, you went on the schedule a time for him to come out. You laughed when he told you he was already in your state, because of course he knew you couldn’t say no to him. You were still in the same apartment you’d been in the last time he’d seen you so you told him he could just head on over. After a quick goodbye you started the shower, trying to calm the nerves coursing through you. The last time you had seen Simon was prior to your top surgery. You admired the scars in the mirror before turning and hopping in. Your shower was methodical and quick, and when you emerged you headed to your bedroom to decide on what to wear.

Deciding on a nice tank top and some loose shorts, because hey, this was your apartment and you absolutely refused to get dressed up, you headed to the kitchen to try and decide on something to make. But as soon as you left your bedroom, there was a knock at your door. All the nerves you’d been holding back up until this point released a flurry in your belly. Before you could change your mind or doubt your choice of clothes, you walked to the door and flung it open.

Simon just sood there appraising you. You watched as his eyes took you in, from head to toe. His gaze passed over your chest quickly before finding your eyes again and you could see the crinkle of a smile through the balaclava he wore. You stepped back, allowing him entrance into your apartment. As soon as the door shut though you were pulled into a hug, Simon tucking his face into your neck, breathing you in.

“I missed you, too,” you said, because you did. You knew this was Simon’s way of saying the things he couldn’t so you allowed yourself to melt into the hug, smiling when you were chest to chest. There was nothing between you now, no uncomfortable mounds of flesh to hide behind big sweaters or side arm hugs.

“You did it,” was whispered against your neck and he didn’t have to specify for you to know what he’d meant. Your entire time with Simon, he knew how much you hated your chest and how you’d done everything you could to hide it. At his words, you melted further into him, tucking your face into his jacket.

“I did,” you laughed as he pulled away to look at you again. As his gaze raked over your form, you tried to fight the blush rising on your skin. Of course, that only made Simon grin even harder. God, how you’d missed that smile. You reached up and placed your hand on the bottom of his mask, asking a silent permission. When he nodded, you lifted the mask in one swift motion, needing to have his beautiful face bared to you. Your breath caught in your throat. Gods he was gorgeous. He wasn’t wearing his normal black eye paint under the mask so you got to see him in all his glory.

“Look at you,” you said through a smile. “Just as pretty as always.” It was Simon’s turn to blush now as he ducked his head. A finger under the chin and he was looking into your eyes again. “Why me?”

“You know why,” he spoke as he pulled away from you to drop his duffel on the way to your living room. You didn’t know, you hoped but there was a niggling of doubt in the back of your head so you needed to hear him say it. When you didn’t move to follow him he turned around and sighed. “I dreamt of this, you know. Having you to come home to after missions.” That shook you to your core. You’d had those same dreams of him coming home to you, of making a home with him. But things didn’t work like that. He refused to give up his home in the UK and you had refused to leave the job you’d worked so hard for. Every now and then, he’d visit and you’d enjoy your time together but both knew it could never be anything more.

That’s why a year ago, you’d been forced to end things for good. Your heart couldn’t take being with him but not being able to have him. You never labeled what you had and you never, ever dared to tell him how you truly felt about him. So you’d let him go. You’d fought the urge every day to call him, leave a message and beg him to come back to you. It had hurt but you knew it was the only way you’d heal. You didn’t though. You never got over him but you maintained your strength and never reached out.

And then he called you.

“I can’t leave my home, Si.” He visibly shivered at the use of the nickname you’d given him. “If you came here just to tell me I can’t have you, then I'm sorry but I can’t go through that again. I won’t recover this time.” HIs eyes widened at that.

“This time? WE ended things amicably.” You could hear the question in his voice. “There never was an us.” His voice broke at that but it broke you even more. You knew that, had always known that, but hearing him say that? You fought the tears back down, because you were not going to cry in front of him and you were about to ask him to leave when he continued. “Was there?”

“Of course there was! “ Your voice was louder than you intended so you took a deep breath to compose yourself. “You were my everything. But our lives were so different, in different countries, there wasn’t a way for this to work.” You gestured between the two of you, finally meeting his eyes. The sadness in them mirrored your own but you had to keep going. “I loved you. I still do, Si.”

He closed the distance between the two of you so fast your head spun. It was his turn to put a finger on your chin and force you to look him in the eyes. “What?” The disbelief in his voice was evident and it brought back a memory from so long ago. There’s nothing he to love, he’d told you once. You’d already loved him then but there was no way you’d ever tell him that. At least not then.

“Simon, don’t play dumb. I’ve loved you for a while now. I wasn’t going to say anything because you made it clear what we were doing wasn’t about love.” You managed not to spit the last word but you could feel your anger rising. As you were about to continue on your rant, Simon interrupted.

“I sold my place.” The absurdity of what he’d said forced a laugh from you. You stared at him trying to make sense of what he’d said. “About three weeks before I was granted leave, I sold it. It’s never been a home. I don’t have a home unless I have you.”

“What are you saying,” you managed to breathe out. Tears were threatening to spill. Home. You were Simon’s home. That means?

“I love you.” Simon stated it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I want to be here. With you. I want to come home to you.” His hands had moved to your waist now, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against the skin of your hips. When had his thumbs moved under your tank top? You couldn’t remember as his words washed over you again and again.

The tears were flowing freely now and you didn’t even try to stop them. You had so much you wanted to say, needed him to know but instead of speaking, you pulled him down by the collar of his shirt and crashed your lips into his. It took only a second before Simon was kissing you back, nudging you backwards until you were pressed against the wall. HIs tongue teased your lips and you melted, opening for him. He kissed you breathless for several minutes before parting for air, Both your chests were heaving, his forehead resting against yours.

“I’m saying,” he spoke between pressing kisses to your cheeks and forehead, “that if you’ll have me, I’d like to come home to you. Here.”

“In the states?” you asked between panting breaths. Simon laughed, his mouth now on your neck.

“Where ever you are.” And yeah, okay you could work with that. Before you could answer, your tank top was pulled to the side and Simon nibbled on the space between your neck and shoulder. A moan was pulled from your throat and your hands found their way into his hair. His thumbs were still rubbing circles into your hips and between his mouth and fingers, you were going crazy, You didn’t know what you wanted, just that you needed more.

Tugging on his hair, he got the hint before releasing your neck and lifting his head to look at you. The adoration in his eyes made your knees weak. You pushed against his chest and he stepped back from you, eyeing you curiously. What you were about to do had your skin tingling with nerves but if anyone was going to see you like this, it was going to be him.

Simon watched, enraptured, as you hands went to the base of your tank top and lifted it. It was over your head and on the floor in a moment, and you stood there bare before him. Even without breasts, this was intimate for you. Sharing your bare chest with someone in this way was something you were never sure you’d get to do. HIs eyes raked over your now flat chest and the fire in his eyes lit a fire in your core.

“Can I?” he asked as his hand reached for you, seemingly of its own accord. He stopped, waiting for your answer. You simply nodded and that was all the permission he needed. He ran his thumb softly over your scars and a sigh left your throat. “Do they hurt?”

“No,” you laughed breathlessly, “just sensitive.” “In a good way?” His eyes were alight and your heart melted a little more at the thought.

“I don’t know. No ones ever.” you allowed your voice to trail off and the look on his face had you pause.

“No one else has seen you like this?” The possessive tone in his voice caused a shiver to run down your spine. Instead of answering you shook your head no. “You’re mine, you hear me,” he practically growled out as both hands came to squeeze your pecs. “Lets find out how sensitive these are?” Before you could question what he meant by that he was ducking his head and licking a wet stripe over your left scar.

Your knees went weak at the sensation but one of Simon’s hands were on your hip, helping to hold you steady. He proceeded to lick and kiss every inch of your scar from one side to the other before taking your nipple between his teeth. You knew from others that sometimes sensation took a long time to come back but thank fuck that wasn’t the case for you. Your hips bucked, looking to get any sort of friction and Simon slotted his thigh between your legs, giving you something to grind against.

He rolled your nipple between his teeth, switching between biting and licking, before moving on and paying the same attention to the other nipple. When he finally has mercy on you and releases your nipple from his teeth, his lips find yours again. Its you who breaks away this time, begging or pleading, you’re not sure, but Simon seems to get the hint as the next thing you know he’s guiding you to your couch.

He lays you down upon it gently before his hands find the waist band of your shorts. You nod, giving permission without him having to ask, and he pulls your shorts and boxers off in one fell swoop. He takes a moment to just step back and admire you before you make a hand motion telling him to get on with it. He laughs, a breathless laugh that makes your head spin, before pulling his hoodie and shirt off in one go.

It’s your turn to stare now. As Simon undoes his pants, you watch the muscles in his stomach ripple from the movement, cataloguing the new scars that weren’t there the last time you guys were in this situation. There’s a new one on his hip your eyes trace and as it reaches his thigh you realize he's completely bare before you, his cock hanging heavy and red between his legs.

“Gods’ I’ve missed you.” Its out of your mouth before you even know your saying it and you blush again. It seems to be the right thing to say because Simon is crawling onto the couch with you, slotting his lips with yours before grinding against you. Every drag of him has your cunt throbbing, his head catching your clit on every thrust.

“I would love to take my time with you,” you say when you break the kiss. Simon just kisses your neck and collarbone, not seeming to be able to keep his mouth off of you, “but please for the love of god, fuck me.” He laughs into your neck before leaning back to look in your eyes.

“Condom,” he asks, just as breathless as you feel.

“No, there's been no one since you.” That fuels the possessiveness in him and he leans back in for a kiss as he lines himself up with your entrance. “Just go slow, Si, you’re not a small man.” He laughs against your mouth and pushes forward the smallest bit. You groan together as his head breaches your cunt, the stretch causing your head to spin. He allows you to adjust for just a moment before he’s pushing himself further into you.

You can tell he’s holding back, only moving an inch or so at a time and your patience is wearing thin. You wrap your legs around him, lifting your hips at the same time, taking him all the way to the hilt in one go. A moan rips from your throat, a groan leaving him at the same time. Gods, you forgot how big he was. He allows you a moment to adjust to the full size of him before pulling out just a bit and rocking back into you.

You moan together at the fullness, the feeling of him and you plead for him to just move already. With a light nip to your collarbone, he listens, pulling all the way out before slamming back into you. Your eyes close as he sets a slow and steady pace, pulling all the way out before fucking back into you, the rhythm not enough to push either of you over the edge, just enough to let you feel all of him.

You allow him this, the slow fucking for a few minutes before your grabbing at his shoulders, begging for faster or harder, you’re not sure, probably both. With a nip to your collar bone, he leans his weight back onto his knees, throwing your legs over his shoulder before slamming back into you. The change of position, the speed and the depth at which he's fucking you pull a moan from your throat. Simon laughs, that beautiful noise, before it breaks off in a choked grown as you squeeze your walls around him.

“Please,” you beg, needing to be touched. Simon understand your pleas, running his hands all over your stomach, your chest, fingers lovingly tracing your scars, before his hands rub down your sides, one holding your hip firmly as the other reaches between you too. The first flick of his thumb over your swollen clit forces a hiss from you. “Just like that,” and so he continues to fuck you, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. You can feel the heat building in your core, that familiar tingle in your limbs letting you know your close. You tell him as much and he redoubles his efforts, applying just a bit more pressure to your aching clit.

“Tell me where love, I’ll pull out,” before he can even finish his sentence, your answering him.

“Inside, please, I wanna feel you.” With that, your orgasm rips through you pulling a shout from your throat. You feel his hips begin to falter before you feel him twitching inside of you, and the feeling of him flooding your insides pulls a few more twitches from your body before he collapses on top of you, bracing his weight on his elbows.

It takes you both a few minutes to catch your breath and you open your eyes, not even sure when you closed them, to see Simon watching you. You want to say something, anything to let him know that you want this forever and he seems to read your mind, because he speaks up first.

“I know we have a lot to discuss, but please tell me to stay.” The question in his voice causes your heart to break just a little. Simon, ever the doubter, still thinks you're going to turn him away.

“Forever,” you whisper against his lips as both of your hands find his cheeks. You kiss like that for a few moments, before he slips out of you and climbs off the couch. He returns a moment latter with a warm washcloth. After he cleans you up, he hands you a shirt and your boxers from the ground. You slip on your boxers and as you slide the shirt over your head your realize its his.

“Staking your claim, are you?” He laughs before pulling his own boxers on, slipping the shirt over your head and rejoining you on the couch.

“I’d like to think I already did that.” You laugh together before finding a blanket to pull over both of you, finding your remote and turning on the tv for some background noise. Before you know it, Simon is drifting off into your side and you feel your own eyelids get heavy. You fall asleep just like that, curled into Simon’s side before you allow your own eyes to close.

For the first time in a year, you feel content. Safe. Loved. And you’ll do anything to keep this feeling for the rest of your life.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #trans masc reader #simon ghost riley imagine #my works #oh god hopefully this is good.

[wrasslinimaginesv2]

Wound Care, Chapter One (Seth Rollins x Katerina)

“There’s no use in arguing this, Rollins. We’ve already contacted one of the best home health agencies and arranged for a private nurse to come care for you while you heal. The less you stress and the less you strain your body, the better. It’s best for you, and more importantly, it’s best for business.”

Best for business. Fucking Hunter, he thought. Seth was certain he could manage on his own.

He had his crutches, his medicine, and his meals prepared and sent to his home. That’s all he needed.

He didn’t need to be on his feet for long and insisted that the time would fly by and he would be better than ever in no time.

Of course, WWE doesn’t work that way. What WWE wants and needs is their top performers performing. Unfortunately, the injury and surgery have already taken him out for longer than they’d like. They’re trying to ensure that he heals and is back in the ring as soon as possible.

The last thing he wanted was someone else in his home all day, babying him.

He hasn’t bruised and broken his body all this time to need help now.

“Hunter, I appreciate it, really. But my friend, I will do just fine on my own. Please. Hear me out. It might even prolong my healing if there’s somebody stressing me out all day. You know I like my alone time.”

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter. It’s been settled. She will be there in a few short hours. This is important for the company and for your career. We need you to get better fast. Please take this seriously.”

Seth let out a loud groan. He was no longer interested in continuing this conversation. It clearly was not going his way and was only annoying him further.

“Keep me posted. Her name is Katerina, that’s all I know. Good luck.” Hunter continued, before hanging up.

Great. He can’t fight this. Instead of healing privately, he now has to share his home with some stranger for the majority of the day. He didn’t understand the need for this, as he was perfectly capable of moving around with his crutches.

This injury upset him, but he was slightly happy about finally being able to relax in his own home. Alone, preferably. It’s not like he dreaded company or other people, but being a pro wrestler and hearing that others believe that you need babying is somewhat of a slap in the face. The lifestyle and occupation is not for the faint of heart, so clearly, those who have picked it and succeeded at it manage perfectly fine on their own. In fact, they may even function better on their own. Since being alone was no longer in the books for him, he decided that it was best to nap for the remaining peaceful few hours that he had left.

A buzzing phone and knocks at the door woke Rollins right up.

It’ll be fine, he told himself. Don’t stress, he told himself.

He managed to get himself up, albeit slowly, and secured his crutches before making his way to the front door. He let out a small sigh before unlocking the door and slowly opening it. He had no idea why he had never considered the fact that his nurse might actually be very pleasant to be around.

There stood a five foot five, petite brunette wearing matching baby pink scrubs. She had her dark hair up in a messy, yet somehow put together bun, with two shorter, wavy pieces of hair loose in the front, framing her soft, yet defined face.

“Hey, you’re Katerina, right?” He finally managed to get out, trying his best to somewhat step over to the side to give her some room to enter.

“Correct, Mr. Rollins.” She nodded, holding onto her tote nervously.

He was confused as to how she was supposed to help him. Or how much she could help him, really. There wasn’t much for him to do, anyways. The only thing he struggled with was moving around. How was she supposed to help in that department? There’s no way she could help him move around, given how much smaller she was than him. He could probably still squat her, even with his fucked up knee. It makes more sense for him to take care of her, injured or not.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when she walked past him and made her way inside. The first thing he noticed was her perfume. It was musky, yet extremely sweet and soft.

“Can I place my bag here?” She asked him, referring to the dining room table.

“Yeah, go right ahead.” He nodded, closing the door behind him.

“You should sit down. I’ll enter by myself next time, if you can give me a set of keys. I don’t think it’s good for you to move around unless it’s absolutely necessary. Your boss told me that I’m going to be here most of the day. We’ll part ways at the end of the night and I’ll be back here by morning to help you with breakfast. Once you’re past the most difficult phase of healing and you’ve made it to physical therapy, I won’t need to be around as often, if at all.”

The only part that he listened to was her recommendation of sitting down, as his knee was already starting to throb.

“I mean this in the kindest way, Katerina, but you’re not getting keys to my house. I just met you. My boss says a lot of things. I’m fine, I assure you. I got up just fine, as you saw, to get the door for you. They’re just being annoying. If you want, I can tell him that you’re here all day and you can just stay at home. I really don’t need a nurse.”

She appeared to be a kind girl, but all those words that left her mouth were already suffocating him.

“You know, a lot of people in your position would love to have somebody taking care of them.” She noted, pulling out various supplies from her tote. “I was told that the last time you had wound care was during your post operative appointment a few days ago. The bandages need to be kept clean if you’re looking to avoid an infection and an even longer healing period.”

“Okay, so then drop by and do bandage changes every few days and I’ll tell my boss that you’re here all day.” He offered, as he watched her pull out wound wash spray, ointment, and a fresh change of bandages.

“Mr. Rollins, I very much appreciate this opportunity given to me by my agency. It’s not one that I take lightly. I have worked incredibly hard and being offered the position of caring for an athlete as established as you means a lot to me. I have no interest in playing games and lying. I’m here to do a job and to do it well. I’ll leave it at that.”

Katerina was growing slightly annoyed, even though she had just met him. She was there to care for him and he was hesitant and in a rush to sort out some shady deal with her just to get her out of there.

“You think I’m established?” Seth teased.

Katerina ignored his comment. He knew exactly what she meant.

“I’d really prefer if you could lay down on your bed so that I could change your bandages. I need more room than the couch to be able to lay something underneath your knee to prevent getting the couch messy. It’ll also help me if you could extend your leg properly.”

She watched him reluctantly grab his crutches again. She walked over to him, gently placing her arm around his waist from behind so that she could help him walk over to his room.

Seth refrained from laughing, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she really thought that she’d be able to help him if he did lose his balance or needed assistance moving around. He was over two hundred pounds. If he had to guess how much she weighed, it would probably be a hundred twenty, maximum.

Once he was settled down on the bed, she disappeared for a moment only to return with all of her supplies.

“Do you think that you can pull the leg of your sweatpants up past your knee?”

He thought about it for a moment, but knew it’d hurt to do so given the fact that his sweatpants tapered at the bottom. The pressure of bunched up fabric near his knee was something he was not interested in.

“If I knew you’d be here today changing my bandages, I’d have worn shorts.”

She watched him lift himself up off the bed for a moment just to get the waistband of his pants down his hips. She realized what he was doing and immediately felt her cheeks warming up. It’s not that she hasn’t been in situations like these before, but he intimidated her, and even more so now.

“I can help if you’d like.” She moved closer, replacing the hands tugging down his sweatpants with hers. She was extremely careful moving the thick fabric down his legs, especially once she got near his knee. Once the injured knee was exposed, she got to work.

“I’m going to be as gentle as possible.” She assured him, gently unwrapping the old bandages. She was extra careful unwrapping his knee, not wanting to tug on any of the stitches that might have adhered to the gauze underneath the wrap.

“So, how long have you been doing this?” Seth asked her, his eyes drifting back and forth between his knee and her. She looked quite young and that left him wondering about how much experience she really had.

“I’ve been working for a few years now. I graduated high school a year early and immediately got to work on my nursing program.” Katerina answered. “Thankfully, I did really well and was offered a job immediately after graduating. It rarely happens, because my agency is the best and prefers to hire nurses with more experience.” She looked up at him for a moment and gave him a small smile. “Now, I’m here changing your bandages.”

Seth nodded. That’s cool, he thought. He didn’t understand the profession, as he wouldn’t ever want to be cleaning up someone else’s bloody and nasty bandages. But if she was happy doing so, then that’s great.

He really needed to figure out a way to make her agree to leaving for most of the day.

Maybe she could spend that free time picking up another home health job and making double the money.

He watched her carefully wrap his knee back up. He had to admit, she was a lot more gentle than those who had helped him prior back at the doctor’s office.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you.” She spoke up, pulling the underpad out from underneath his knee and rolling it up so that she could dispose of it.

“No, you’re good. You were gentle. Thank you.”

“Oh, I’m glad. Our agency doesn’t allow us to dispose of things inside the patient’s home. Something about them not wanting the patient to feel like their home is a medical setting. We have to throw everything away in trash bags provided to us. We then take these with us once we leave and dispose of them at our agency office.” Katerina informed him, wanting him to become familiar with how things work. His boss had chosen a great nursing agency to work with, she thought.

After tossing the underpad in the trash bag, she pulled off her gloves and tossed those, too.

For the first time since she had arrived, he paid close attention to her hands. Her nails were trimmed short. Makes sense, he thought. They were perfectly square, and surprise, surprise, painted baby pink. The girl sure loves her pink, he thought to himself.

“Mr. Rollins, do you prefer I wash my hands in the kitchen sink or can I use the restroom?”

“You can use my bathroom. It’s actually that door right there.”

Katerina nodded. She wrapped up the trash bag well and placed it by the door before heading towards the restroom. Seth watched her as she turned on the lights and turned on the faucet. She placed a finger underneath the running water, but quickly pulled it away. As she was waiting for the water to warm up, Seth took the time to study the rest of her.

He didn’t want to behave like a typical male, but he had been stuck at home for quite a while. Plus, she was going to be around constantly. It’s not like he wasn’t going to notice her as she helped out around the place. He can’t just avoid her from the neck down and only see her face, right?

At first glance, she looked petite. Now, it was very evident that she had curves, even though her frame was small. Her top half was still a bit of a mystery, as her top was not as form fitting as her bottoms.

Once he no longer heard the water running, he tried to clear his head.

Studying her for a few short moments made it extremely difficult to now focus on anything else.

My pants, he thought. He still hadn’t pulled them up yet.

He tried to reach down to grab the waistband of his sweats, which was now resting at his ankles.

“Hey, I can help.” He heard Katerina. She was now speed walking towards him. He was cursing at himself in his head. He tried to keep himself as covered as possible, even though he knew there was no hiding it once she got closer and helped him out.

Katerina was quick to reach Seth. She gently moved his sweatpants back up his legs, making sure to be very careful near his knee, again. She had just made it past his knees, when her eyes landed on his crotch. She really hoped that he didn’t notice her blush, for the second time today. Other than her own body exposing her, she pretended to not notice. She didn’t want to make him feel bad. She also didn’t want him to feel embarrassed. It isn’t the first time this has happened to her. She was doing a great job at convincing him that she didn’t notice, until her fingers brushed up against it as she helped him finally pull his sweats back up over his hips.

Almost. It almost went perfectly, she thought to herself.

“I, I’m sorry.” She immediately blurted out. “I didn’t mean to touch you. It was an accident.”

He was about to respond before she continued.

“I’m going to take this trash to my car and be right back.”

He was relieved that she thought to disappear for a moment, as he had no idea what to say. If he had controlled his greedy eyes, this would’ve never happened.

Rollins grabbed his crutches and helped himself up, making his way back over to the living room.

Laying down on a bed was doing his unfortunate situation no service.

He sat down on the couch and turned his attention over to his phone.

He began typing out a text message.

Hunter. Do you have any idea what trouble you’ve sent to my house? It hasn’t even been an hour and I can’t think straight around her. I don’t need a nurse, please sever this arrangement.

Katerina returned the second he pressed send. He placed his phone down, turning his attention back over to her.

“Did it hurt a lot?” She asked, sitting down on the couch straight across from him.

Great. Now she was in his line of sight.

#seth rollins #imagine wwe #wrestling imagines #imagine seth rollins #tyler black #the shield #imagine the shield #wwe #pro wrestling #wrestling fanfics #wrestling

[quackitlee-hq]

{ C! Quackity (tickle) RP blog }

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{ ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ }

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run by @quiet-gremlin

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{ Important things }

- not kink or nsfw!!

- c! quackity, not cc! quackity

- i am dyslexic!! but i try my best to read through things so they make sense!! lmk if you need something fixed!! /gen

- i (admin) am a minor! so just be careful. i dont want nsfw, or kink being involved. and if you are over the age of 21, just be cautious and know that i am weary of you /nbm/gen

- oc blogs can interact!! but it will be a little funky since im still trying to get used to them!! /gen

{ ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ }

{ HC'S, Boundaries, Spots, and more! }

(last updated 27/12/23) - boundaries updated, general hcs updated, tk hcs updated!

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{ Boundaries } (important)

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- again, id prefer if 21+ were weary around this blog as i am a minor. but u can interact!!

- ABSOLUTELY NO NSFW OR ADULT CONTENT. THIS IS NOT KINK

- i will absolutely do angst!! either in dms or here i can go however far youd like!!! literally anything i am so down!! i love angst <3

- i am comfy with any character interacting!! even if they have problems!! we can either pretend they didnt happen, or give them a little kiss and make up story!!

- im also okay with ships!! if u and ur guy wanna date quackity, just lmk and we can go over the details!! :D

- pls no feet stuff or bondage. they make me uncomfortable.

- my dms r always open!!! and also please dont rush me on roleplays. i get busy, and ill get to you!! (normally im pretty fast, like a couple days inbetween)

- ill add more if i need to!!!

- please please send your ask. idc what it is. just wanna be haha funny and make jokes?? okay!!! do you wanna just say funny things to quackity?? feel free!! (if theyre not rp asks, i will respond as quackity unless otherwise stated!!)

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{ ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ }

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{ General HC's }

- short king my beloved <3 (4'10 i have no self control)

- 22 years of age !! :D

- he has small wings on his back! he cannot fly due to silly problems in his childhood (angst?), but he tries to take pride in them! he also has little ones on his ears, and he does what he can to take care of them

- ^^ as these two imply, he is an avian hybrid!! tho ppl call him a joke since his wings are more of a golden color (like a ducks)

- when he gets surprised, he lets out a little quack ^_^ and also will trill like a bird when happy (bc hes an avian)

- quackity is dyslexic! but he does what he can to get past it. he has glasses that he only wears in private to help him read

- goes through depression spikes! he usually does what he can, and hypes himself up for the most part, but he does have some problems emotioanlly and mentally. he would rather die than make it somebody else's problem

- basically a dad to the entirety of las nevadas,, even treats foolish n sam as like, his kids (or more as ppl he takes care of)

- overworker!! mans barely sleeps and struggles to feel like hes done a good job

- to relax, quackity watches kids movies on his ipad and unironically likes cocomelon. (IM SORRY SNFNSBD)

- he also can and will throw a tantrum to get his way even when he can just be carried like a baby

- hides his smoking / nicotine addiction n everyone just pretends they dont know (they feel bad for him)

- sucker for the dumbass "best mom" / "#1 mom" shirts and just owns a ton that he sleeps / lounges in LMAO

- quackity id's as a trans guy! he has also had top surgery! he is on t (injections), and doesnt struggle too bad with dysphoria!

- will call you kid. unless he knows you and knows youre older, his first petname is kid.

- does not like talking ab karl, sapnap, or schlatt. like he'll answer maybe two questions before getting annoyed.

- along with that (unless in another au), schlatt/glatt, karl, and sapnap are all banned from las nevadas

- rubs the back of his neck if he's nervous. one of his tells

- speaking of his tells, his others are wringing his hands together, and placing his hands behind his back. rubbing his hands together happens when hes just trying to talk and getting nervous. and he puts his hands behind his back when he's feeling confident

- is a very good gambler, but when it comes to people he knows well?? hes a horrible liar. cannot lie to those he loves for shit.

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{ Appearence HC's }

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- mans always wears his dumb beanie

- messy black hair

- he switches between a red and white button up shirt!!! his sleeves are always rolled up though

- his hair is also a little longer than shoulder legnth!! sometimes its in a ponytail, but its normally just down and low.

- his hair looks greasy but its!! actually not, its soft and well-maintained

- he also has burn scars littered all over his body from what happened to slime. (he does not take care of them)

- he has a little. tail. that is the same color as the wings on his ears. although he does cover it unless hes around someone he likes/trusts <3

- it is right below his lower back <3 but he prefs it untouched (unless asked). its not made of feathers, but rather the softer part of feathers (idk how to explain it)

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{ TK HC's }

- hes like a switch that leans to the lee side <3

- better with ppl he knows better

- can either b an asshole abt it or v playful (almost dad like coughs)

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{ Ler HC's }

- again, he can b an asshole, but he can also b rlly playful, it depends on who u are

- will wait to go to ur worst spots so he can give a buildup

- mainly gets som1 for fucking with him, or getting them to just smile. or if theyre being an annoying little SHIT

- is GREAT at being a teasy asshole, he loves just fucking around

- he can also be really good at gentle tickles, he'll usually use that for a calm kind of situation, or when someones feeling down

- mans will fuck any1 up with raspberries

- is a petty little bitch and will wait to get revenge

- wont babytalk you but will talk like u arent there

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- finds it silly and cute and he likes it as a bonding activity

{ ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ }

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- will talk himself up and then just absolutely die

{ Lee HC's }

- cant fucking stand teasing. at all. this man has a poker face of stone but the second you put your hands on him he cant do shit

- nervous giggler my beloved

- can and will throw a fit if you use his height against him, esp in teases

- unable to take it seriously, absolutely cannot stand any kind of teasing. it all just kills him

- arches his back a lot on instict. which doesnt help if someone wants to target his worst spot

- rubs his eyes when he's flustered

- tries to act big and strong even when down and giggly

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{ ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ }

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[ Spot HC's ]

- thighs ; 6/10

- ribs ; 6/10

- palms ; 8/10 ; melt spot

- neck ; 8/10 ; melt spot

- lower sides / hips ; 9/10

- the little wing ears ; 11/10 ; he will die . .

- lower back!!!! ; 10/10 ; death spot , ,

- burn scars on his neck ; 10/10 ; fluster spot Augh

- his wings and shoulderblades ; 11/10 ; kill him ! !

#lee!quackity #ler!quackity #quackitlee-hq #tickle #tickle community #dsmp tickle #updated :3

[ghostbergara]

Blue and maybe midnight for one ask game, 🔥 for the other

Have a nice day/good night!

aw thank you, right back at ya!

for 🔥 i think it actually changed quite a lot! so this might be long because im not good at making..words..short? (i dont speak english sdbjk)

I realized I was queer around when i was 12-13, i had always felt.. off? Different? I think in the same way i've heard a lot of other queer people describe. I also grew up in a very small conservative town and we moved when i was 12 so now thinking about it, that change in environment probably allowed me to figure myself out a little bit more. Now 12 might seem young to some people, but i honestly probably should have known sooner i was trans, actually i think i knew, i just didn't have the language. Before i knew my mom had talked a lot about how much will power can accomplice and i thought if i just wanted it hard enough i would wake up a boy (which obviously didn't work so i woke up disappointed every morning). I went as far as to pray??? to god??? i am NOT religious and i never was (which actually got a me in trouble in school a few times but thats another story) asking them to make me a boy (which unsurprisingly also didn't work). I think if i remember correctly i found out about trans-ness mainly from Sam Collins (who is a trans youtuber) which then led me in a spiral of googling and watching everything i could about being trans and how to know if you're trans. I even made a Pros and Cons list of reasons i was and wasn't trans??? (I cant find it anymore but the cons list only had one thing and i cant even remember what it was) Then after some time i sent a video by sam collins where he talks about being trans with his mom, to my dad! He was very supportive until he wasn't and thats also another story. He then told my mom for me and they ended up both being very unsupportive for a very long time.

ANYWAY im getting off track from the question. I didn't have much energy to focus on anything other than staying alive for a very very long time and in turn didnt have the energy to even think much about my identity (i was out as trans and so on). Now in recent years first of all my mom has become very supportive and im doing worlds better and ive finally gotten through the system and gotten hormones and later this year i have my first top surgery consultation. I've figured out my sexuality (or i though i had, i dont know, i like men and maybe more??? Im either gay or bi). Experienced tons of trans and homophobia and most importantly really feel like i've entered the community.

HERES WHERE I ACTUALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION

Now i think i feel more 'free'? Being queer definently makes me feel like i can really be who i want to be, like i'm not defined by stereotypes and stupid cis-straight 'rules' that i dont understand. I'm grateful for the experiences it's brought me, both positive and negative, because it's made me more empathetic and im better dressed for helping and talking with other queer and in some ways even just generally marginalized people. I'm also very aware of the impact i can have as a queer person, both on other queer people and on straight people. I tend to like to wear at least one thing that will mark me as queer in at least other queer peoples eyes because that for them often means safe and not alone. I know from first hand experience how scary it can be to be queer out in the world and if i can bring even the slightest relief to people i will. I certainly feel more at ease when theres other queer people around. When it comes to impact on straight people it's the way i know i can make them understand more and sometimes take the burden off a newly-out queer person by answering some of the questions they have instead of them asking that newly-out person. Of course i have also gotten the "I thought trans people were freaks until i met you, but you're just like normal" which while it sucks at least they hopefully in the future will be more open.

I feel like im more in a way. I have an impact on the world and a possibility to help others like me in a way that is so meaningful and i cherish that.

what colors am i?

LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks

#does that sound selfish? #i dont know #i just want to spread queer joy and acceptance where i can #im so sorry this is long and honestly most of it is not related to the question #i dont know why i felt like i needed to add all that context but heres half my life story i guess ahdkfk #and i like sharing my queer experiences #thank you for the ask!! #asks #baz answers

[kismetkween]

Selfie victim

There is a thing you can use called a "true mirror" or something to that effect. I saw it in a tik Tok video like 1 year ago. I was completely miserable and scrolling while sedated. I saw a video in which a woman in her early 20's was stopped at a new year's party by two men. They were seemingly harmless, and she was bubbly and intuitive, a harmless interaction. 

He shows her to a trifold mirror. She has a soft black complexion with short curly hair, she has glittery makeup, black and gold. She has small straight white teeth behind shapely 2 toned lips with dimples on either side. A true, effortless beauty. 

She quickly looks at the mirror and a range of emotions play on her face, she is confused by the interaction, then at the mirror in front of her, she realizes what she is seeing as the man explains to her, she is seeing a real image. She is used to seeing herself inverted on a selfie cam or in a mirror and the device in front of her allows her, to see herself, the way others see her.  

Her smile and eyes light up, such a slow natural progression like she is seeing it as he explains it and she has the most beautiful smile ever. She radiates warmth and joy, and it truly was amazing to watch her realize this.  

I believe I watched it like 2 or 3 times as one does for details and while strolling through the comments. The general consensus being "how beautiful she is, how many other people want to try, how much joy this experience brought her, you can do this with an inverted selfie, and I for no reason other than cynicism, commented "she will think about this every time she looks in the mirror and will never get the same satisfaction." 

I saved it so I could, never reference it again and moved on. But she looked so genuinely happy and gorgeous that I thought about it several times the week following.  

I don't know why I was thinking about this and looking in the mirror one day, miserable as ever, and decided to try the inverted selfie referenced in the comments. It was the worst thing I had ever done.  

I had jaw surgery when I was 17 that considerably changed my face, I was also going through a period of excessive weight loss and the asymmetry was staggering. I could not look at myself in a regular mirror and now this inverted selfie nonsense was ruining my life. Not only is that what I really look like. That is how others see me.  

One side low, one side high, not a single feature above my center, top lip was the same on either side. One almond eye, one round eye, one arched brow, one standard brow. Sagged undereye, highlighted under eye. The orbital socket on one side shaped like a lower case "g" on one side and a perfect round "o" on the other.  

The nose was belled down with the panels that came off the side. I always looked as though I was wearing glasses over foundation and then took them off to reveal these highlighted patches on the side of my nose. I literally looked like Quasimodo.  

When I was younger, I was obsessed with this chicken pox scar I had above one side of my lip and the asymmetry it caused. Now I always looked mid stroke. I am not being dramatic, I saw this. No one would be honest with me.  

This was fine, but I had more evidence. When AI photos first came out, there was a trend in which you would submit a handful of photos and an AI program would generate art and animations with you in a variety of situations or generally reimagined. There was on 16th century painting generation I loved. I feel like it captured how I felt I looked and best of all it captured and recreated the severe difference in the two sides of my face. Different pupil sizes, eye shapes, jaw shapes, everything.  

I continued to ignore it, but I knew it was there, I could feel it when people looked at me. I knew what they were seeing was not what I prepared in the mirror before I left.  

All of 2023 this bothered me. I would occasionally checked in with new selfies and the more weight I lost, the worse it looked. Not to mention all the sagging skin all over my body.  

Towards the end of 2023 it got worse. Before, there were days and sometimes weeks I could go without thinking about it. Or even better sometimes I could think about it and just accept it and not obsess. Now though? I would sit in the room with a person I loved and trusted and make them look me in the face and I grilled them. I made them look at my face and when they kept denying the difference, I would show them the pictures and they said they could not see it.  

I would draw hash marks on my selfies and draw lines connecting like a graph or equation. I would show the missing spots or measurements and still nothing.  

I believed them sometimes. Sometimes, I caved and could tell they were laughing it off because they felt trapped or uncomfortable.  

In February of 2024 I started taking inverted selfies of my face and flipping them around every day. I started to look for things I could change. I started breaking it down into features.  

What could I do to make my face more symmetrical? Where to start? Eyebrows, this had been an ongoing battle since I was younger. I started to look into permanent options to resolve the issue. I decided to have them micro bladed. Microblading is a procedure in which they take a blade and tattoo individual hairstrokes onto your brows. They create a shape and fill it in and now even newer methods they will use a soft "powder" to fill the spaces in between and make them look hyper realistic.  

March 8th, I met the woman and explained to her very plainly "I am aware my eyes are 2 different shapes", " I am aware that I am dysmorphic " and "I know full well Symmetrical brows are not going to 'fix' my face nor is it their job to but I am kind of counting on them to tie the top half of my face together just a bit." She understood and I was a bit in shock when I left, they were bolder and darker and more solid than I had ever seen them. There was no washing them off or anything, they were just there. After a few days I loved them, but they did not accomplish what I expected them to.  

Turns out, eyebrows cannot fix an issue deep down inside of you. But I do have new eyebrows and I like them quite a bit. It has been 3 weeks and in another 4 weeks I have an appointment to have them touched up. At the moment I want one or 2 spaces filled, I want the top line to be a little cleaner and I want to show her the photo, asymmetry issues/ photos and see if she has any feedback. I have very realistic expectations that relate only to my eyebrows.  

The past few days however, each time I leave the house and I am in the sun for more than 3 minutes, my face breaks out in a red puffy rash. A "butterfly rash" or a "mylar rash." I have to take photos of this for my doctor and the best way to do it is to get high definition photos of my face from the rear camera of my phone. I was not prepared for that.  

All day today I have taken photos of my face and compared them to the inversion tool I have frantically messaged my brother begging him to tell me the truth.  

I don't understand that some people would rather be told they are beautiful even if they have a full understanding of what they look like. Rather than being told the truth. What if you had a conspiracy theory or puzzle, or mystery that plagued and vexed you every single day, only ANY SINGLE PERSON could solve it for you, the only payment for this effortless morsal of truth is to accept the fact that you are not conventionally attractive and hear it from another person. That is okay because you don't really but too much into being conventionally attractive and you already suspect you are ugly. You are willing to pay the price over a million times every day BUT everyone is playing a game. The game is a little pageant game we all play every day because madness is somehow better than bad manners.  

Don't worry, today I have decided to take the facial metric. A "facial harmony test" It says it is to "identify problem areas, much like a clinician such as a dermatologist or aesthetician would in person, and transfer that ability to the assistance of a computer to pick-up on things they may either miss, or not even know about" 

One review said” I was intrigued. The tool had broken my appearance down into a list of bite-size issues—a laser trained on what it thought was wrong with my appearance." 

In my next post I will share and digest these results and go over how they aid or worsen my dysmorphia.  

I wanted to come back and share that the analysis tool is down BUT after reflecting and being realistic I am going to finish my brows, then do filler under my eyes, Botox in my brow muscle to relax it, filler in one of my eyelids and the side of my jaw to balance. I want to have the fat sucked out of these panels on my nose. Then I will determine if I still need a nose job. I also want to get my hairline balanced by my brow lady. I know it seems like a lot, but it is comprehensive. I also need to resurface my skin and continuously lose weight. 

https://kismetkweenx.wordpress.com/about/

#im disassociating #disassociation #body disphoria #body dismorphic disorder #body dismorphia #detachment #actually mentally ill #actually ocd #cognitive decline #mci #journaling #journal #cosmetic surgery #personal diary #dear diary #diary entry #my diary #diary #diaryposting #digital diary #online diary #tumblr diary #journal entry #spilled writing #spilled thoughts #spilled words

[slutty-wife-stories]

How my wife’s boob-job turned our marriage into a Hotwife marriage

Haley and I met through a dating app in the wake of both of our divorces. She was everything I was attracted to and the polar opposite of my ex in the looks department; tall, blonde, had long legs, and a lean body. This isn’t to say that my ex wasn’t an attractive girl, she was, it’s just Haley was on a whole other level and totally my type. Although she insisted she was just trying to put herself out there to ease back into the dating market, our relationship quickly progressed.

After a short stint of dating for a few months, she moved into my condo with me. We ended up eloping on a trip to Vegas and eventually held a small reception for friends and family when we were back home. Haley was great and our relationship was incredible. We traveled when we could and took in all that life had to offer. She was an adventurous girl who clearly was trying to make up for lost time. The sex was amazing too. I felt like a teenager again with how horny I was all the time. Not only was Haley the most attractive woman I’ve ever been with, she was much more adventurous and skilled in bed than anyone I had been with before.

Eventually we sized up and bought a small but beautiful home. One lazy Sunday while lounging out by the pool Hayley broached a topic that would change the course of our relationship forever. “Babe, can I ask you something?” I glanced over and said, “sure.” I watched as she looked down at her chest. “How do you feel about me getting a boob job?” I was honestly taken back, not expecting that to come from her mouth. Although I can appreciate a nice rack, I’m far from being a boob guy and I never once thought about the size of my wife’s chest. Yeah, admittedly she was nearly flat as a board but it truly didn’t bother me. On the other hand, the though of her having a nice set of jugs was definitely appealing.

“I’ve always been very happy with your body as is, but if that’s something you really want to do, I’d support it.” Haley looked relieved but skeptical. “Really? You never wished I was more curvy there?” She responded as she jiggled both of her breasts from over her bikini top. “I’ve always hated that part of my body and I’ve wanted boobs since I hit puberty.” I was intrigued by her forwardness and her proposal. “How big would you get them?” I asked. Haley looked at me with sultry smirk. “I don’t know, maybe some huge double D’s!” She said fecicously. “Seriously, I don’t know I just want some actual shape there so I can wear normal dresses and tops.

Fast forward 8 months later and Haley got her wish. A vuluptuous pair of silicone D cups courtesy of an extremely expensive surgery and the help of two 500cc silicone implants. Post op I couldnt get over how huge and unnatural they looked but as the swelling subsided and the implants fell, they began to look a little more natural. Still though, Haley was a small framed and thin girl so these high profile D cups looked absolutely huge on her. Never caring much about boobs in the past I realized how much fun I was missing out on. Now when we had sex there was so much more to grab, to rub, to stick my cock between. I could tell she was enjoying them just as much as she immediately took me with her on a shopping spree to buy a whole wardrobe of sexy bras and tops.

Naturally, Haley was increasingly more confident about her body and eager to pop cleavage whenever she went out. I quickly noticed that Haley almost always wore tops that were slightly revealing or that accentuated her breasts. Although I felt a little insecure about this at first I quickly found it to be kind of a turn on. I confessed this to Haley the night we had sex after the entire day out with her wearing this v neck blouse that showed generous cleavage. I let her know that all the lustful stares she was getting, of guys checking out her tits, had actually started to get me hard when we were walking the mall. This seemed to really do it for Haley too. “Really? Did you really like that? Should I wear an even more revealing top next time?” In a horny state I clearly remember giving her the green light to flaunt much more the next time we were out. Sex talk from that night on always revolved around her dressing up slutty in public, purposely to get attention from other men. It was a fantasy I had burned into my mind and one that Haley seemed completely okay with entertaining. The dirty talk only got more intense from there on forward. Talk of showing cleavage turned into talk of wearing short skirts. Talk of wearing short skirts turned into talk of going out without panties. Talk of going out without panties turned to to talk about her flashing other men. Talk of flashing other men led to talk of her getting felt up by other men.

The next time we went out Haley delivered on her word. She wore one of the lowest cut and form fitting blouses she owned, her cleavge was busting from the top of her blouse with the help of a push-up bra. She complimented her naughty look with a short skirt and some high boots. As we sat for lunch I could feel every pair of eyes in the place lock onto my wife. Although it made me a little uneasy at first I quickly started getting aroused with how hot she looked and all the attention she was getting. After teasing me by walking the crowded street for a while we called it quits and went home for a quicky. The sex again later that night was even wilder and we fantasized about pushing things further. I came up with a great idea as my wife teased my cock with her fingers. “How about the next time we have food delivered, you answer the door topless?” Not one to back down from the challenge, Haley made a bet with me that if she succeeded, I owed her another shopping spree. If she didn’t follow through, she owed me a week of blowjobs on demand, whenever I wanted. It was a hot little bet but one I felt like I was winning out on no matter if she followed through with the bet or not. That following weekend I made a startling announcement as my wife flipped through social media on her phone, “I ordered some pizza, should be here in a little bit.” Haley looked totally shocked that I hadn’t even given her a heads up of what I was about to do. “Seriously, today? You didn’t want to wait until we were on vacation or something? Is it the place we order from all the time?!?” With a smirk on my face I replied, “yeah it’s the usual place and a deal is a deal.”

My heart was pounding in my chest and I could tell Haley was a nervous wreck despite her trying to play it off cool. About twenty to thirty minutes later the doorbell rang. Both Haley and I looked at each other wide eyed and scared about what would happen next. I took up position behind the kitchen bar top area so I could watch everything without being spotted. I watched Haley nervously strut to the door and check the peep hole before looking at me, “it’s the delivery guy” she said with a nervous but mischievous smirk. In total disbelief I watched Haley pull off her shirt and unclasp her bra before tossing them towards the entrance of the kitchen. Her beautiful round tits now hanging freely for everyone to see. She bladed herself behind the door as she unlocked it and slowly cracked it open. I felt my mouth going dry and my knees go weak as she peaked her head out, “hiiiii, thank you…” Haley then stepped out from behind the door to retrieve the pizza box, now fully exposing herself to the delivery guy. I heard his excitement, “oh…shi..ha, ha.” My wife quickly followed up, “sorry, I couldn’t find my shirt haha.” The two exchanged a nervous laugh and I heard the pizza guy say something that sounded like “very nice.” My wife quickly responded, “I have to get cash, do you want to come in?” I quickly ducked behind the other side of the counter as I heard the door close and my wife rummage through her wallet that she had hanging up by the doorway. “Here you go.“ the pizza guy responded back, “thank you, thank you…wow, they are…very nice, very nice.” My wife nervously laughed again, “oh thank you, I paid a lot for them so I really appreciate that. Do you want to feel them…tell me if they feel natural?” I heard a pause and then the guy spoke, “they feel amazing, wow, totally real.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Did she just let this strangwe grab her tits? My wife chuckled nervously again, “thank you… that makes me feel better about my decision…and the price haha.” I heard them exchange goodbyes one more time before the door opened and closed again. When the deadbolt clicked I stood up.

I emerged from behind the counter to see a huge grin on Haley’s face. Her tits still hanging freely from her small frame. “Holy shit, did you just let him grab them?” Haley looked at me with a smug look. “Looks like you owe me a shopping spree.” The passion was electric as we embraced and started making out as we made our way back to the couch. “What did he look like?” I begged to know all the details I couldn’t see. Haley told me it was the usual delivery guy in his late twenties, early thirties with brown hair and eyes. He was about 5’9 and lean, pretty average looking according to her. She showed me the doorbell camera from her phone real quick before continuing on with our kisses and touching. “I can’t believe you actually did it, that was so fucking hot…you actually let him grab your tits…fuck.” I could tell Haley was equally turned on. “I was thinking about inviting him in for more but I knew you were hiding there and wouldn’t see.” I was completely beside myself and we ended up pulling off each others clothes and fucking on the couch before agreeing to finish in bed. Once in the bedroom we were both very quick to climax and reach orgasm as we talked over how hot it would have been if she invited him in and jerked him off or sucked his cock. I knew from there on out the anty was upped and my next dare would have to be even wilder.

The rest of the night was spent fantasizing about what would happen if she did it again and the ideas kept getting better and better. Maybe next time she could let him fuck her or maybe she could even have sex with him while I watched. The possibilities were endless and the anticipation was killing us both. As we drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder what sort of dare I should propose next. The following evening I suggested that she sign up for Tinder and try to meet a guy that way. Haley thought it would be fun and agreed. In the following days we got to setting her up with a hot but somewhat anonymous profile.

We decided that her first hookup should be at our house and that I would position the interior cameras around to capture the whole thing. The whole idea was that I could be in the basement and watch from my phone as everthing happened. If anything went wrong, I was right there if she needed me. Although I was okay with her making them think she was a cheating housewife, Haley rightfully thought it as best to be completely transparent with the guys she met. Letting them know what she and I were looking for and hoping to get out of it.

She went through the usual process of swiping right on an attractive guy named Dave and started chatting him up. They exchanged numbers and she told him to come over tomorrow night. She explained that her and I really wanted this and asked if it was okay that everything was recorded. Dave seemed cool with it and agreed to whatever rules we had. Haley and I agreed that there would be no kissing on the lips and that Dave would wear a condom for vaginal sex. Lastly, we preferred if he pulled out when he came…even if he was wearing a condom.

I set up a camera in the living room above the fireplace and one on the dresser in the guest bedroom that was just off the living room. Haley made sure to dim the lights and changed into my favorite black lace lingerie set. Her tits were busting from the top of the push-up bra and the panties hugged her ass and waste perfectly. She threw on a black tank top and a cream colored pair of short shorts as we prepared for Dave to show up. I could feel my heart race as I waited for Dave to arrive from nearly 40 minutes away. Haley was equally eager and nervous. “Look, if you want to stop us at any time…just do it, okay?” I assured her that I had no intention of stopping anything unless she wanted me to.

When he finally arrived I made my way down to the basement. I made myself comfortable on the couch as I checked the live feed on my phone. I could see Dave was at the door. When my wife answered I could see they both exchanged a hug and greeted each other before entering rhe doorway and coming out of frame. I switched to the the living room camera and could see Haley guiding Dave to the sofa. I turned up the volume to listen. Haley showed Dave where the camera was and confirmed that we had consented to everything we agreed so long as it was done on camera. She explained that there was also a camera in the guest room so they could go wherever he felt most comfortable. Dave seemed a little nervous but reassured her that he was cool with it all. They moved into the guest bedroom where I had the next camera set up to take a look. “The camera is there and we have a pack of condoms incase you didn’t bring any.” Dave assured her that he had some in his pocket as they made their way back to the living room. Dave seemed eager to get started, “do you prefer here or the bedroom?” Dave asked. I saw something come over Haley in that moment like a switch flipped, “how about we start here.” She said in a low and seductive voice as she reached out to undo his jeans. Dave moved his hands to her waste and began touching her breasts over her shirt as the two backed closer to the couch.

Haley slowly undid the button and zipper to Dave’s jeans, dropping his boxer briefs , revealing his hard cock beneath. Dave sat down on the couch as Haley moved in over him. She reached out and grabbed his cock, giving it a few firm strokes before positioning herself more to the side to give the best view to the camera. Dave groaned as he watched her slide her hand up and down his shaft as she complimented his size, “I love it, you’re bigger than my husband.” Haley dropped to her knees and tied her hair back as I felt my hands tremble, holding the phone to my face. I could see from the camera feed that Dave was lifting her shirt, exposing her cleavage bursting from the top of her sexy lace bra. Haley wasted no time burying her face between his legs, taking his shaft deep into her mouth, making a few slow passes up and down before bobbing her head at a faster pace. Dave was now shoving his hands into the top of her bra, getting a fist full of her big fake tits as he moaned aloud, “uggggh, yeaaaah” Haley continued to perform for the camera, now deep throating Dave deliberately before letting out an audible gag. She stroked his wet cock, the sound of his wet skin fapping against her hand was hot. Again she resumed giving him head.

After a few more seconds of blowing him like a pornstar, she stood up and slide off her shorts. Haley took a gasp of air before saying, “I want you to eat me out and then fuck me.” Haley slid off her panties quickly and then slowly unclasped her bra, dropping it to the floor. As Dave kicked off his boxer briefs from his ankles and took off his shirt I started to stroke myself a little faster. Their two naked bodies switched positions, this time Haley sitting on the couch with her knees spread and her feet up on the cushions.

Dave moved in between her legs and started to lick her, from her inner thighs to her clit. Haley moaned loudly, arching her back as he licked her. His tongue circled her clit, teasing it before diving in and sucking it hard into his mouth. Her hands were in his hair, guiding him as she moaned out loud. She screamed out, her voice echoing through the room as her body shuddered with pleasure. “Fuuuck, yes, oh my god…fuck!” Although Dave’s head was blocking the view slightly I could tell he was doing an amazing job. Haley was rubbing her clit with her fingers as Dave continued to eat her out. “I’m gonna cum, keep going, fuck!”

I watched in awe as Dave continued to lap at her, his tongue circling her clit as she started to orgasm. Her body tensed and quivered as she came, screaming out in pleasure. After my wife recovered she suggested that they go to the bedroom. I heard them talk as she held his hand and guided him there, “that was incredible…I never cum from getting eaten out.” I heard the two exchanged a laugh before entering the frame of the camera. My wife climbed right onto the bed as Dave tore open a condom and slid it on his long hard cock. I could tell he was a pro at this, and has probably had a lot of sex with his fair share of women.

Haley laid down on the bed and spread her legs wide open, inviting him in. Dave positioned himself between them and slowly pushed inside, making her gasp as he filled her up. His hands found their way to her hips as he began to thrust into her, their bodies slapping together in a rhythmic motion. The bed squeaked underneath them as they moved together, their moans filling the room. I could see from the camera feed that Haley was biting her lip, her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she arched her back off the bed. I couldn’t believe what I was actually watching. Her being taken by someone else seemed so natural to her and I could tell she was thoroughly enjoying it. I began lightly touching myself some more as I kept watching.

Dave moved faster now, his body swaying rhythmically as he pounded into her. He reached up and pinched her nipple, making her cry out with a slutty smile. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she met his thrusts, her body moving in perfect sync with his. They were a well-oiled machine, their bodies moving together in a dance of desire. I could feel myself getting closer and closer, watching them together, wishing I was in the room to take part. Haley was moaning loudly, “fuuuuck, yes, just like that, fuck, fuuuuck, fuck me!”

As I continued to watch, I could see the intensity, the raw passion they had for each other. It was as if they were the only two people in the world at that moment, and nothing else mattered. The room felt electric. Dave slowed down and ordered my wife onto all fours. After slowly guiding the tip of his cock to her hole, I watched with perspiring and shaky hands as he entered her from behind. My wife’s beautiful fake tits were now savaging and swinging freely as Dave slowly pushed into her from doggy position.

Haley moaned loudly as she felt him filling her up, her body arching back in pleasure. Dave started to thrust into her harder, his pace quickening as he found a rhythm. He reached around and fondled her other breast, pinching her nipple roughly as he fucked her from behind. The pace intensified and the slaps of their hips together drowned out the squeaks from the bed as Haley continued to scream in pleasure, “awh fuck, fuuuuck, that’s it!”

Her movements became more erratic and uncontrolled as she neared her second orgasm. Dave sensed this and quickened his pace, his thrusts deep and hard. Haley cried out, her body shuddering as she came, her juices coating their skin and the bed beneath them. Dave quickly pulled out and stroked the base of his shaft lightly as he propped himself up with his other hand on my wife’s ass. His cock was clearly throbbing as he let out a loud groan, “uuuuugh fuuuuck!” Haley remained collapsed on the bed, staring at the camera with a huge smile on her face. “I hope you like that baby…that was incredible.”

After a few moments, they climbed off the bed and began to make their way back to the living room. Dave excused himself to the bathroom with clothes in hand to get cleaned up. I could see them exchanging glances, their bodies still flush from the passion they had just shared. After getting dressed and teasing at the proposition of doing it again, they exchanged a brief hug and Dave left.

I emerged from the basement and the sparks flew. We embraced and I began kissing her neck and cleavage as she reached out to feel my hardness through my pants. “Did you enjoy watching that?” She said in a giddy voice. I was completely on edge. “Finish me off, please.” I directed Haley to the guest room where she had just been fucked by Dave to make a quick movie of our own. I made a proposition as I pulled off Haley’s shirt and shorts. “I’m so close to cumming I know I won’t last…I want to feel inside of you…but then I want to cum in your mouth.” Haley, just having had cummed multiple times from Dave was eager to entertain my wishes. She slid off her panties and climbed back onto the bed as I got naked. I mounted her and slowly pushed myself into her wetness as she let out a soft moan. “Her pussy was still noticeably moist but I could feel it was also noticeably stretched.” I was completely overwhelmed by the sensation I had to pause before pulling out in fear I was going to prematurely cum. It was the most helpless and pathetic I’ve ever felt during sex because I was powerless. As I sat back against the headboard, Haley moved in close with a sexy grin on her face. “How did that feel? Does it feel better after being used by another guy?” I was completely in over my head with how hard I was and the second Haley put her lips around my cock I knew it was over. In less than one pass of her mouth I completely lost control. I shot my load deep into the back of her throat in a sustained and very powerful orgasm. Haley moaned around my cock which added to the sensation as she felt my warm cum fill her mouth. She opened her mouth wide to show me the mess I had made before swallowing it all. She then smirked with a smug and satisfied look on her face. “I could get use to this two guys in one night thing.”

We fucked two times later that night as we rewatched her time with Dave over and over. As I streamed the footage to our bedroom television we teased and toyed with each other like animals. To this day our night of sex after she fucked Dave is still my favorite experience we had together. There was something so bold and erotic about it being our first time and captured in such detail. We continued to watch the footage night after night until we agreed that we were ready to do it again.

In the same fashion Haley took to Tinder again to try and find a lucky guy that she was attracted to. This time she connected with another guy whose name also just so happened to be Dave. This guy was very well hung, tall, and extremely toned and fit. He also was even younger than her last hookup at a young 26 years old. I was hoping she could convince him to let me watch in person and boy did she deliver. Dave agreed to meet at our house the following weekend with the same ground rules laid out. He showed up and came to the door. Excited to see her with such a younger guy, I made sure she was dressed like a complete slut. When the doorbell rang she answered it in a plaid miniskirt, and a cropped white button down which was tied together at her waste. Her black lace push-up bra was clearly visible from the open bust making her cleavage and tits look absolutely amazing. She also wasn’t wearing and panties underneath her tiny skirt and was sporting high, clear plastic platform heels. When she opened the door for Dave he couldn’t contain his reaction. “Holy shit, you look amazing..so sexy.” Dave and I shook hands and we offered Dave a drink before sitting down on the couch. Haley was all over Dave, sitting close to him and placing her hand on his thigh as we talked. Dave seemed extremely nervous which only made my wife go out of her way to put him at ease. “Just pretend that he isn’t here…and just have fun.” After Dave downed his drink he began kissing Haley’s cleavage as he slid his hand up her thigh. Haley opened her knees wide as they sat side by side, offering her pussy to him. As he began fingering her, Haley was moaning lustfully and shamelessly like I wasn’t even there. Before long Dave’s cock was out and my wife went to work stroking him. In a hilarious twist, Dave completely lost control and prematurely shot his load. He looked so embarrassed so we both went out of our way to make light of the situation and reassure him that it was normal. Although he seemed like he was about ready to leave with his tail between his legs, we coaxed him to stay. It was an unforeseen situation but one that paved the opportunity for something even better. As we all sat on the couch and talked, my wife still dressed in her slutty outfit, I could feel Haley was extremely horny. I made my move and began touching her as we talked and she eagerly opened her legs as I slid my hand up her thigh. Dave watched intensely as I rubbed my wife’s clit under her skirt. As we started kissing she immediately began undoing my pants as she moaned, “I want both of you tonight.” It’s exactly what I wanted and I could tell Dave was getting really into it.

Haley untied her blouse and let it drop to the floor before tying her hair back and getting on her knees. Dave looked on, his hand rubbing his cock over his pants as he watched Haley get on her knees to suck my dick. She kept glancing over at him as she slowly and sensually sucked my cock, putting on quite the performance for Dave. After a few minutes Dave had pulled off his boxers again and walked over to where my wife was kneeling, his monster cock already semi hard. She grasped it with her right hand and started stroking him as she continued sucking me. I was in heaven. Watching my wife servicing two cocks was my new favorite image. After slurping on my dick for a few more seconds she transitioned to sucking on Dave. Struggling to get his girth in her mouth she began bobbing her head in short but fast strokes. I could tell Dave was getting hard, fast. Her left hand was now jerking me off as she stroked the base of Dave’s cock with her right while sucking him. I couldn’t believe how good my wife was managing the two of us. After transitioning back to me, I stood up to make her job easier. As we stood towering over my kneeling wife I couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Haley went back and forth stroking and sucking each of our cocks like a complete slut. After edging us close to cumming, Haley demanded that we both fuck her. We headed to the guest room and my wife did the honors in putting a condom on Dave’s horse cock. After pulling off her skirt and bra, she climbed onto the bed with Dave. After mounting her from missionary I could only bring myself to watch in awe as Dave stretched her pussy open like it’s never been stretched before. I could tell that Haley was in a euphoric state of pleasure and pain. I stroked myself as I watched Dave thrust and pump into her. As he slowly picked up the pace and pushed deeper, his rhythm was abruptly halted. Dave pulled out of her as his body stuffiness and he grabbed a hold of his dick as he groaned, “fuuuck! Ah shit.” He had prematurely came again. My wife was completely taken back with how fast she was able to bring him to an orgasm again. I tried to make light of it, “it’s that magic pussy babe…I told you.” I took my turn as Dave attempted to pull the condom off and clean himself up with a hand towel. As I slid into her I immediately noticed how stretched she actually was. I almost felt no sensation as I picked up my rythm, fucking he harder than Dave had. After a few position swaps and a little oral sex I determined I was ready to finish. I began fucking Haley for off the bed, her legs spread up on my shoulders as I stood at the edge of the bed and pumped hard. I felt myself climax and shot my load deep into her as I watched Dave stare with intrigue.

After cleaning up and getting dressed we said our goodbyes to Dave. He remained very persistent that he would love to do it again and apologized for his performance. We assured him that he did fine and my wife extra reassuring with how she complimented how good his size felt. When Dave left Haley and I just looked at each other and laughed like giddy kids. We were completely indulged in our new lifestyle and deep down, we both knew it would only keep getting hotter.

The following weekend Haley reeled in another guy, Steve. Not as well endowed or as young as the last guy, but just as tall and attractive. Haley made it clear to him from the very beginning that although I initially wanted to watch him fuck her, I would be joining in at some point to make it a threesome. Although my wife later admitted that she actually enjoyed the first Dave the best, I enjoyed our time together the most with Steve. Haley and I largely kept the same rules with one exception; we wanted Steve to cum somewhere on Haley’s body. Although this was my idea, Haley was happy to entertain appease me. Steve was so laid back. He admitted he had done something similar with another married couple once before.

Haley answered the door in the exact same outfit she had worn for Dave #2 just last week. With the cameras rolling we went right into the bedroom, skipping all the small talk, and got right to it. Steve was quick to pull out his cock but Haley was slow to tease the two of us. This time she incorporated me much more into the foreplay. As she stroked him on the bed in her slutty little outfit she teased the two of us. “This is such a perfect cock for me, don’t you think baby?” It was so hot how she casually stroked him as she looked at me with lustful eyes. “It feels so fucking good in my hand…I can’t wait to feel it on me.” I started undressing as Haley got even hotter, “Steve, I want you to show my husband here how good you can fuck me with this nice…thick…hard cock.” She then posted herself up on her knees and leaned in to take him into her mouth. Her short skirt was now riding up, just showing the bottom of her ass to me as she slid her lips over his shaft. It was perfect! Haley continued to give head as Steve moaned and groaned about how good it felt and how skilled she was at sucking cock. As Haley continued I felt the need to eat her out before she had his dick in her. I crawled onto the bed and lifted her skirt from behind, burying my face under her ass so could get my mouth to her pussy. As I felt my tongue touch her wetness she let out a moan with Steve’s dick still in her mouth. We continued like this for almost another two minutes before they got right to fucking. Steve put on a condom and Haley climbed on top of him to straddle his dick. She lowered herself onto him rode him from cowgirl. Steve thrusted and fucked her up her skirt as Haley continued to involve me in what was going on. “You like watching him fuck me like that? Fuck your wife up her skirt like that? He feels so good baby, oh my god, so fucking good! She began to ride him harder, bucking her hips forward and back as he reached up and pulled her tits out from her bra. They transitioned to missionary and I could resist the urge to jump in. As Steve mounted her and started inserting himself, I climbed up on the bed and put my cock in Haley’s mouth. I thrusted in and out of her mouth from my knees as Steve began fucking her nice and steady from missionary. I rubbed her tits with my hand as I watched Steve take her. The face and pussy fucking continued until Haley had her first orgasm. She moaned out loud as she clenched the sheets. Seamlessly Steve repositioned her to doggy position and began fucking her from behind, much harder than he was before. I continued to shove my cock in her mouth, spit roasting her in perfect view of the camera. It was so fucking hot and I felt way too good. After a few moments I lost control and shot my load in Haley’s mouth while Steve continued pounding her pussy from behind. After several more minutes Steve transitioned positions again, this time fucking her from behind but both him and Haley lying on their side. He picked up her leg straight in the air and began thrusting into her hard, giving me the perfect view. I couldn’t do anything but watch and verbally encourage Haley. Steve made his move, transitioning Haley back to missionary but this time, kneeling high above her. He roughly thrusted hard and fast for a few seconds before ripping the condom off and jerking himself off. He stood up tall on the bed and released his load, literally shooting a thick stream of cum all over her tits and stomach. He continued to stroke the semen out of him, dribbling every last bit on her abdomen. It was so fucking hot I couldn’t contain my reaction, “holy fuck, yeah!” After cleaning up and saying our goodbye to Steve, Haley and I had another late night love making session as we watched over the footage of her and Steve.

The stories of men coming to our home went on for months until we stepped things up further. “What about two random guys at the same time?” Yeah, we did it. “What about a gang bang?” Yeah, did that too. “What about letting them cum in you before I fuck you?” Yup, that was the new norm. “What about a group bukkake?” Are you kidding? We did that too.

We continued to push the limits of our Hotwife marriage with the only real rule being that I had to be present whenever she fucked someone. I know our relationship will seem strange to most people but I could honestly say it has been the most sexually gratifying and rewarding thing we could have done in our marraige. Not only has it emotionally brought us closer, it has kept our sex life unimaginably exciting. If I had known it would be this great, I would have started sooner.

[quinnpriv1]

RS: [rdfl] femdom top rid / m! floyd, western/cowboy vibes/no powers AU

He’s left alone in dim silence for several minutes before Riddle enters, glaring at him like he’s scum of the earth. “Because you are,” she says, no nonsense, when Floyd shares the comment aloud.

A whip cracks in the sheriff’s hands. “I’m beginning to think you allow yourself to get caught on purpose.”

Floyd grins, caught-out. “Wouldn’t dream of it, l’il miss.”

Riddle, the only authority for miles around, the leader of this town, hisses. Her boots are caked with mud and dirt from riding all day, but the spurs are shiny and freshly shined, a testament to her dedication. “Throw him into a cell,” she orders, fingers rough from her rough work. She’s a feisty one and Floyd appreciates that.

Trey, Cater, Ace, and Deuce, her four top officers, are familiar faces. Trey and Deuce hate his guts but Cater and Ace find him different degrees of fascinating, if only because he’s different and new. Floyd waits his turn patiently, eats his slop, and grins when Deuce comes to retrieve him. “Don’t look so smug. Sheriff Rosehearts is going to punish you.”

“I’m quakin’ in my boots,” Floyd drawls, tone deeply sarcastic. Deuce resists the urge to strangle him.

Deuce ties him up, cuffing Floyd’s hands behind him in the chair for good measure. He’s left alone in dim silence for several minutes before Riddle enters, glaring at him like he’s scum of the earth. “Because you are,” she says, no nonsense, when Floyd shares the comment aloud.

To her credit, Floyd is a wanted man. The first time Sheriff Riddle Rosehearts caught him, determined to educate him and put him back on the straight and narrow, Floyd had been sweaty and wary, exhausted beyond belief. He’d broken out just to rid himself of the monotony, but things are different now.

He’s come to rather enjoy the pint-sized redhead’s idea of ‘punishment,’ watching her untie the knots expertly, though she notably leaves the cuffs on. She drags him to a cellar by his ear, all too aware that he can leave whenever he wants.

This is for her own ego at this point and nothing else, damn whatever excuses she might utter.

She straps him on a table that looks like it’s made for birthing, too small to contain him but it’ll do for her purposes. Floyd laments the fact that she disappears if she’s not sitting on a stool.

The short heels of her penny loafers—her home shoes—slap against the concrete as she stands beside him. The moue on her face does nothing to detract from her regal brilliance. She looked like she would be far more suited to wearing ballgowns than chaps, a pale beauty with pretty red lips and a stubborn streak a mile wide. “It’s a wonder you haven’t been hung,” she says, tilting his head back. “You’re not ugly and you’re far from poor. When are you going to settle down?”

Floyd grins. “Is that a proposal?”

Riddle rolls her eyes. “Not on your life.”

Silence falls again as she gathers her things, lined up neatly on a shelf like she’s preparing for surgery. Floyd shivers when the riding crop hits his calf. “I’m not doing this to arouse you,” she says as she’s said multiple times before. At this point, he doesn’t know who she’s trying to convince—him or herself.

“Can’t control what my body does automatically, l’il miss.”

Another thwack. Floyd groans. “And stop calling me that.”

Carefully, Floyd holds his tongue. He’s not interested in cutting things off before the getting gets good. Sheriff Rosehearts pulls his breeches down before she slathers her hand with some kind of oil, slick fingers dipping inside his hole. She grimaces the whole time and Floyd isn’t sure if the process itself disgusts her or if he disgusts her, but he revels in it.

He loves when she takes charge.

She undresses down to her skivvies in the name of doing less laundry, refusing to make a mess. Floyd has never seen her tiny but proud little chest but he daydreams about her nipples often. He would be willing to bet money her tits were perky and bright, just like her.

He hisses when she pinches his balls, eyes glossing over in pain. None of his noises deter her from her mission: correcting his behavior by force, since words have proven useless.

The leather of her strap is smooth and buttery, tanned by an expert artisan. Floyd only knows because Ace had left his hands unbound on one occasion and he’d taken the opportunity to reach out, though he’d nearly gotten his fingers broken for the pleasure.

Riddle isn’t a cruel mistress. Even if this whole process is intended to put him in his place, she inserts her faux cock only once he’s decently prepped, sliding in deep.

Floyd’s lips part. An awful, guttural noise of pleasure escapes from his throat. “Fuck,” he curses. Riddle whips him again.

It goes on and on like that until he’s drooling in more than one sense. Perched on her stepstool, Riddle is every inch the queen of her roost, mockery written in her eyes. She’s lofty and powerful, a terrifying beauty.

If Floyd weren’t married to the open plains, living life on the edge, constantly flirting with danger, he could see himself growing old with a woman like her.

She fucks him and whips him until he can’t see straight, wrists bruised from straining against he cuffs. His trousers are tacky and he’s half blind from orgasming so hard.

He’s half delirious from the excursion, bleeding lightly, old scars covered by fresh welts, but he still hears Riddle talking to herself. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” she says, so softly the words would have carried on the wind if they’d been outside.

She cleans up behind herself like a professional, blowing out all the lamps. Floyd is left in the dark until the morning. Sheriff Rosehearts wouldn’t be surprised to see that he’d wiggled free, but she would be annoyed. She would be even more irritated to realize he decided to stick around for coffee and eggs, perfectly seasoned the way she likes, before breaking one of the horses out of the stables and riding off in the blazing heat, a criminal through and through.

It would only be later, much later, that Riddle would find the note tucked in one of her drawers in Floyd’s slapdash handwriting. The messy quill on her desk had been a dead giveaway.

Until next time, l’il miss.

Riddle crumples it up and steps on it for good measure, throwing salt in front of her door to ward off demons.

It won’t stop Floyd. It never does.

She’ll punish him whenever she sees him again.

#twst #flrd #rdfl #txt #fem riddle #retro fills

[intergalactic-chameleon]

gender stuff once again

SOOO ive finally come full circle and am now considering hypothetically one day getting top surgery (if not just breast reduction) and maybe also going on T at some point.

literally about a year ago when i was discussing gender with my roommate at the time, she asked me if i would consider getting top surgery after i told her that i was going to get a binder just to “try it out” and see “how it feels.”

i thought abt it, but told her “no, not really” because my boobs had never rly bothered me before and they made me feel “more like an adult” (im really short and tiny and would occasionally get mistaken for being a teenager rather than someone in their twenties, so my boobs were often the one age indicator for people). besides, they also made me feel attractive - i had long, wavy hair and taking topless photos of myself was a hobby of mine because i just looked fucking good. ultimately, my tits, which have always been somewhat disproportionally big (i think im a 34D), helped feel me more feminine and sensual as i grew up. though i definitely had a hard time trying to find cute tops that fit me and give me enough support sans bra, i still built a good wardrobe of interesting feminine clothing that i really enjoyed.

but despite all of this, i still wanted to try out something different. at the time last year, i had only just begun to think about being more transgressive with my gender presentation. i had realized that i wanted a shorter, boyish haircut (specifically to look like steve harrington) and kind of started to wear less feminine clothing overall. i also was discovering how attracted i was to men in an undeniably queer (ie. faggy) way, which further propelled me to explore masculine identity even more.

anyway, i was prolonging ‘the big chop’ until after my sister’s october wedding, so i began to grow my facial hair out in order to grow more comfortable with gender non conformity. and to my surprise, my mustache became very noticeable and at some point i realized that i could genuinely grow a little baby chin beard. ofc, by the time of the wedding, i shaved all that off, but went right back to growing it out.

then, the big day: i got my first ever short cut in january. it was shorter than i was expecting, but i immediately felt something shift. i started to feel a lot more confident and got tons of affirming compliments from loved ones about how well it fit me. i also finally felt comfortable enough to dress more “masculinely” and my facial hair didnt make me feel ratty and unkempt anymore; it just fit.

in the coming months i continued to feel more confident and expressed myself more openly around my peers. additionally, a lot of my trans peers started identifying me as trans (which was honestly very validating because i kinda felt like i couldnt loudly identify as trans unless other ppl saw me that way). thus, ever since i’ve been thinking about myself as a trans person and continuing to develop my identity around that.

however, now that ive been actively presenting more masculine/andro for about 6 months now, ive now run into several things about my appearance that i kinda struggle with, such as my height, my shoulder width, my small little arms, fussing with my hair, and of course, my chest. and so i now have this conundrum where im not necessarily experiencing intense gender dysphoria that leaves me feeling depressed, but i have this voice in my head that’s just like “hm, yknow, it’d be nice to maybe not have my tits” bc i’d really like to show off my chest / torso but my tits are so big that it’s distracting !!! and if im binding then i cant rly show off anyway…

so tl;dr: my tits dont make me hate myself but they’re getting on my nerves bc i feel like i’d be hotter without them but that doesnt feel like a good enough reason to gather all the resources needed to obtain a reduction/removal !!!! i also get sad thinking abt how pretty n feminine i used to look and how getting my tits altered (and/or if i went on a low dose of T) would make it hard for me to “return” to how i used to look … idk. how do i find out what i truly want for myself….

#personal #gender #long rambling rant type post #this is basically just a reiteration of the last gender post i made lmao

[incorrectsnkships]

happy trans visibility day!!

here are some headcanons of characters that i think to be trans and under the umbrella, and some relating to the transgender topic :)

firstly, here are some characters who i personally believe to be trans

armin arlert, he/him, ftm

i feel no real need to elaborate on this one;

like come on. look at him. he isn't cisgender, at all;

i feel like armin was one of those people who from a young age, just knew. at the age of four, he started telling everyone in the crèche that he was a boy, not a girl, and that his name is armin instead of the one that the teachers used;

and everyone was just like "oh okay hi armin" because they're four and are just chill with everything, but then the teachers decide to tell his parents and his parents will just comply because he's they're only child and they love him;

so after begging and begging, armin gets his first boy haircut at the age of five. his mother is emotional, she's happy for him but doesn't want him to get picked on or to be bullied if he were to ever change his mind. his father is proud, and amazed at how brave his son is;

but then his parents died, and now he has to live with his grandfather. he tried, was great at using the right name and pronouns and always corrected himself, especially as armin got older. and then armin met eren, and eren thought he was cis, and never questioned it. when armin broke the news that he was in fact not born a boy, eren, being ten, was confused. how???? but he got there in the end after a long talk with his father about the sience behind it all;

then armin joined the training corps with eren and mikasa after his grandfather died, and explored many methods on how to cope and small ways to ease dyshoria as a transgender teenager. as armin discovered ways to bind, he tried to do it as safely as possible - this is where he and mikasa started to become close;

mikasa discovered the great idea of adjusting a girdle/corset to use to help armin to bind his chest, which worked wonders, but she made him swear to wear it for a maximum of six hours on training days, and eight on others, as she wasn't 100% sure on how easy it would be against his ribs;

but it worked, and it continued to work for the next two or three years. but as he got older and his body developed, it didn't work as well as it did when he was twelve now that he's fifteen. but armin was older now, he met more people who knew far more about this stuff than he did;

armin, with the help of hange, made himself a top quality binder at the age of sixteen. he started hormones, which is explained better in theory below, when he was seventeen. armin got top surgery after the war, when he was twenty three.

hange zoe, they/them, non-binary

ah hange. hange, hange. where do i begin. bare with me, as we have no backstory for our lord and saviour, so i'm making this as canon-compliant as i can, and i know there has been a lot of discourse on the perception of hange's gender, but this is just my view on them;

hange, even as a small child, never understood the concept of gender. they're so intelligent, they know everything about science, yet they've always failed to understand a simple thing such as their own gender;

so hange just sort of?? existed??? they had a perfect balance of masculinity and femininity always, but hange was the weird kid and never even thought of having prejudice on someone purely because of gender. they always saw men being sexist towards women, or women stereotyping men, and they never understood why. they always referred to a person as "they" or if they didn't like them, called them "it";

hange would always cut their hair religiously, just heartlessly chop with a pair of scissors or a shard of glass until it was short enough for their liking;

then hange reaches their teenage years, and goes to study science in big school when they were seventeen onwards. they met another student a year older when they were eighteen, and she had a baby when she was fifteen. she introduced hange to her son, who was four going on five, and the child just blurted out, "are you a girl or a boy?" to hange;

they didn't know what to say. hange, with the biggest smile from earlier, just replied, "i don't know," and got on with their day. nobody had ever asked hange that, ever. it really made them think about things. using modern day terms, hange was in a complete gender crisis of utter turmoil. and i live for it. so naturally, they decided to do some research in the library;

hange discovered the term "gender non-conforming" in a book, learning that many other people like themselves have been feeling the same way, dating back to centuries before their time. they also saw the word "androgyny" which is when somebody can't tell whether a person is male or female, just like their friend's son;

hange graduated with qualifications and bucket-loads of knowledge on titans, therefore making them eligible to become a titan scientist and work for the survey corps. so that's what hange did, researched and made a living off of doing what they love every day - titan experiments;

then they met levi after a few years of being in the corps, and as much as levi hated to admit, their friendship grew stronger and blossomed into something so beautiful that they even started to drink together. levi, amongst every single other cadet, was just as confused about hange's gender as they were, so just used they/she pronouns and their name when talking about them. one night, levi and hange received their pay checks and opened them together, only to see that hange's did not match the same salary numbers as levi - theirs lacked a considerable amount compared to levi's;

"what? why is my salary less than yours? i have a higher rank than you!" "it's probably because you're a girl," "not a girl," "oh- oh god, i'm sorry, jesus i didn't know," "it's fine, this is outrageous!" "so... what are you exactly?" "dunno, not a girl tho," "a boy?" "nope, i'm putting in a complaint!!"

when hange finally calmed down enough, they explained to levi that they didn't really see the point of having a fixed, traditional gender, and they never fit into the criteria of either. levi understood. hange explained that being addressed as female made them uncomfortable, looking like a female made them uncomfortable, and that they've been using bandages to bind their chest all these years**;

levi went through the roof - hange must be in so much pain, he thought. he made hange hand over the bandages, which he threw away immediately, and then went to the market and bought the neatest, most comfortable roll of polyurethane he could get his hands on - he sat down with hange, roughly drew a template, and taught himself how to make a binder for them. he took measurements, stayed up all night;

hange ripped their shirt off and tugged it on over bruised ribs as soon as it was done. it felt like heaven. after that, hange felt so much more comfortable in their own body, felt better at work and on the field. they taught themselves, with levi's help, how to stich one, then passed that onto younger cadets;

but that wasn't enough. hange wanted to help more. they listened to armin, along with other young trans guys, talk about how upsetting it was that they would always have a high voice and a womanly figure and have to wear a binder for the rest of their lives;

hange dove into their work. they were determined to find a way to help. hange ended up finding a solution, a free and accessible solution. the only way to medically transition would be to go to the private hospital in wall sina, and the cost for one round of testosterone hrt is higher than the commander's salary. hange ended up finding a way.

**please try not to do this as best as you can!

some honourable mentions; hitch dreyse, she/her, mtf, nanaba, they/them, non-binary, annie leonhart, she/her, mtf, isabel magnolia, they/them, agender, farlan church, he/they, non-binary, mikasa ackerman, she/they, demigender, levi ackerman, he/they, demigender (i also love the headcanon people have for him being trans <3), yelana, she/they/he, genderfluid

hange's method of hrt using titan dna

remember when i talked about armin taking hormones when he was seventeen and hange finding a way for cadets to transition? this is the theory i imagine being in place in the survey corps for access to hormone therapy for transgender scouts;

so hange actually discovers this on accident. they're fucking around one day doing work, messing about and doing tests after tests on titan blood, tests that have already been done thousands of times before. except this time, the blood of a female pure titan seems to be lasting longer than the average titan blood. hange compares the male and the female pure titan blood, and it's all normal, nothing unusual is showing up. except for the fact that the corps was granted with a higher budget, meaning hange has more technology to put to use;

so they decide to do a second scan of the blood, just to make use of the extra budget. again, the scan comes back normal, nothing differing from all of the other scans. still, they decide to write a report, only to be interrupted by levi just as they start;

he stands in the doorway, watching hange's tired eyes look over at them. he is taken aback by the stuffy smell of the room as he walks in, opening a window or two to let some actual fresh air in. "how's it going?" they ask hange, peering down at the small dishes of blood samples, one labeled "F PT" and one "M PT." hange sighs, letting their pen clatter to the floor. "a waste of time. nothing new happened, it's the same as always," they explain. levi's brows knit together as his eyes go from the microscope, to hange, to the microscope again. he lowers their face down, poking his left eye into the magnifying glass. "you sure?" hange rolls their eyes. "wha- yes! it's the same as always, packed with iron and potassium, with zero glucose and-" hange looks up to see levi standing, with one brow arched and a smirk at the corner of his mouth. they continue, "-and i've done it wrong, haven't i?";

levi gestures for hange to come forward and take another look through the glass. he points to the small specks of clear liquid inside the blood of the male titan, "you see?" hange's mouth falls open as they intensify the zoom. "tell me, professor, what are those? anomalies?" hange is dumbstruck, how didn't they see this before!? they immediately kick levi out, shortly shouting down the corridor that they need an emergency meeting with the commander in two hours;

hange goes into the meeting with papers upon papers, clipboards upon clipboards. they're supposed to be sitting down opposite erwin in his office, but they're just too excited with their findings to even think. levi is there also, but he was brooding in the corner as always. hange goes on to explain;

"courtesy of the captain, i was able to find small, clear specks of liquid in the blood of both titans earlier. at first they looked like water droplets, but after extracting them, i found out that they're pure hormones! testosterone in the male, and oestrogen in the female. jesus- sir, think of the possibilities. this has opened so many doors for us as a whole. after some more testing, i've deemed them fit to be used by humans. it's just pure, raw hormones and just think of it sir, with some altering, just maybe, these could be injected inside people. of course, it will cancel out the other hormone permanently, and it will have to be a weekly thing- do you see what i'm getting at?";

erwin understands. he knows what hange means. he likes the idea, he really does, and decides to allow the case to go further. first, the medical team will assess the sample, and decide what other amendments it needs in order to be fully safe for human bodily consumption. then it will go through tests, and if they pass the tests, it will become eligible to be tested on humans;

hange gets the results back - the board have approved the serum, however, the testosterone is only able to exist in liquid form, and the oestrogen in powder form. hange can think of the perfect candidates for each hormone; armin and hitch, to which they both agree. hange warns that the serums may not be completed for years, but as long as written consent is given, they can proceed;

it takes two years for the recipe to be perfected. armin and hitch can finally, finally, start to live the lives they deserve. if only erwin were here to see the first dose. armin injects the first round into his thigh, and hitch begins the pill course. the trial is set up over six months to see if they work, and regular blood tests will be in order;

after the trial period is over, armin and hitch go in for examination and to give a report on the noticeable changes. hange is absolutely thrilled to see that it works. armin is now starting to form a more bulkier frame, and the hair on his chin and upper lip has started to thicken, and his voice has clearly altered the smallest bit. hitch however, has changes in the complexion of her skin, and has slowly started to develop more breast tissue. this means that more people will be able to start taking titan-extracted hormones;

they are issued to clinics, and are made available for transgender scouts in the military, free of charge. hange sighs with relief at the sight of scouts starting the pathway to a happy and fulfilling life. they get the idea of researching surgery for trans masc's so that they don't have to bind, and that the breast tissue can be removed so that a flat chest is present. hange perfected the science and the theory behind it, but hoped that after the war, they'll be able to put all their hard work to the test to benefit more people.

#incorrectsnkships #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #hange zoe #levi ackerman #armin arlert #hitch dreyse #trans day of visibility #transgender day of visibility #transgender pride #mtf hrt #ftm hrt #nonbinary pride #hange uses they/them pronouns #snk headcanons #long im so sorry #i wrote this in one sitting yall #agender #demigender #mikasa uses she/they pronouns #trans headcanon

[beauvibaby]

there won’t be anyone else — t.seguin

a/n: obviously my timeline isn’t going to be accurate, and I know he went back to Canada for a large portion of his recovery but this is what worked… should I do a part 2???

Part two here!

summary: tyler asks his best friend to stay with him and his daughter during his recovery

word count: 5.2k

tagging people who interacted with my post: @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @mandypants95 @fallinallincurls @sidscrosbyy @myhockeyworld87 @lilyhood22 @joeyisourranger @je-ne-regrette-rien @youngbeezer @slimdebrusk

“Y/N?” Tyler spoke nervously, you tore your eyes off of the six month old in your arms, she gurgled in complaint as she grabbed at your face, “what’s up?” You asked him, shushing his daughter as she kept pinching your face. He smiled at the sight of you two, “I have to have a couple of surgeries, big surgeries, and I’m going to need a lot of help with Willow.” He explained, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “do you think you could come stay with us for a while?” He finally asked, you nodded instantly, you’d known Tyler ever since he came to Dallas. Long before he ended up as a single father to little Willow. “Of course, Ty.” You assured him, “anything you guys need.” You added, giving him a soft smile as Willow reached for her daddy. “Hi baby girl.” He grinned, smothering her in kisses, “glad you finally wanted to come back to me.” He teased her, holding her above his head as she giggled, the sight alone melted your heart as she grabbed at his beard the second it was in reach. “When is the surgery?” You asked him, you were fortunate enough to run an online shop, so really, as long as you could bring your supplies to his house, which you knew he’d have no problem with, you’d be set.

“Next week,” he paused, glancing over at you, “in New York.” He rushed his words together. “New York?” You gasped, eyes going a little wide. “You don’t have to come!” He stated, “my mom is going to meet me there, and then she’ll fly with me back here.” He explained, “I’ll be gone for a little over a week, then I can rehab here.” He added, realizing he didn’t explain anything very well. “Are you sure you don’t want us there?” You asked, motioning to Willow who was happily laying on his chest, gurgling away, probably close to taking a nap since she just ate. “I do, I really do, but it’s not worth the hassle, she’ll be happier here.” Tyler sighed, resting his chin on top of her head. “I’ll send you a bunch of pictures and videos of her, promise.” You laughed softly, thinking of how crazy this recovery is going to be for him. “You’re going to do great.” You assured him, seeing the wheels turning in his head, “I’m sure of it, and I’ll do anything I can to help.” You murmured, running a hand through your hair as all he could do was muster up a smile.

***

Day 1.

Tyler’s mom FaceTimed you that night, once he was coherent enough to remember seeing his daughter. “Hi, Mrs. Seguin.” You spoke softly, Willow looking around with wide eyes on your lap, you flipped the camera to show her, “Tyler.” His mom mumbled, handing the phone over, he looked exhausted but the way his eyes lit up when he saw Willow, she’d just had a bath so she was only in a diaper, showing off her chunky little legs. “Hey, Willow, hi baby.” He spoke, she focused in on the phone, rapidly swatting at it as she recognized his face. You giggled, moving her around to be sitting more on your chest, her face next to yours. “Say hi.” You cooed to her, waving her hand for her, she bounced excitedly as he smiled at her.

Day 2.

He was a little grumpy that day, but tried not to show it as he got to see Willow via FaceTime again, you knew he was already tired of being unable to move.

Day 3.

You were talking to him encouragely as he walked for the first time in three days, Willow sleeping in her room, Tyler’s mom held the phone out in front of her. You knew it had to be hard for her as well, to see her son like this, all because he was playing the sport he loved. You took some time to talk to her as the nurses helped Tyler get back in bed.

He didn’t feel up to talking again that day so you were sure to send him photos and videos of Willow, she was finally sitting up on her own without falling over.

The next week went on like that until he was finally coming home, luckily it was right during Willow’s long afternoon nap, so you could help him get settled and get everything in order before his mother had to leave to catch a flight tonight.

***

“Hey, Tyler.” You smiled, opening the car door, greeting him brightly, he tried to mimic your eyes excitement, but you could tell it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Hey.” He mumbled, letting out a soft groan as you helped him get out and onto his feet, he gave his mom a hard time about using the wheelchair, you could see the pain floating in her eyes, just overly worried that he would fall. “I’ve got him, Jackie.” You assured, walking directly beside him as he hobbled with his crutches, she nodded, grabbing the bags out of the car as you helped him get inside the house.

“Thank you.” He sighed, leaning into the couch cushion as you put a pillow under his leg. You just gave him a reassuring smile, his mom dropping the stuff by the entryway, “be easy on her, I know it’s hard for you, but imagine if you saw Willow like this.” You added in a whisper, understanding came across his face as he nodded, motioning for her to sit beside him, you let them have their moment as you grabbed his bags and brought them to the room he’d been staying in, on the first floor for now, until stairs weren’t a questionable decision.

You put the clothes in the laundry, and moved some stuff down to the guest room, humming softly as you did this stuff without question, just doing it to be helpful, not thinking of how much the small gesture would really mean to him.

After a while, you peeked in on Willow and she was still sleeping soundly with her arms above her head, you smiled, carefully shutting the door to the nursery and heading down the stairs with the monitor, Jackie had to get going if she was going to make it to the airport in time. So you both said your goodbyes, and you could tell it was hard for Tyler to let her leave like that, but what was he to do, she has a life to get on with as well.

“How has she been while I was gone?” Tyler asked, looking at Willow on the monitor, his heart clenching in his chest, wanting nothing more than to hold his baby girl again. “She was good, Ty.” You giggled, easing his nerves, he nodded, “thank you, so much, I know we just started the recovery process but you’ve already helped so much.” He explained, adjusting himself on the cushions, “you don’t have to keep thanking me, I’m happy to help, I love spending time with her, and you.” He smiled at your words, giving you the side eye as you turned away in embarrassment. You two had always been flirty, but once he came to you and said that was going to be a dad, he changed, he stopped going out, he spent his time at home, and it only made it easier for you to imagine a life with him. “We like spending time with you too.” He whispered, resting his hand on your knee right before Willow started to cry. You could tell he briefly forgot he couldn’t go get her as he went to sit up but then stopped himself. “Don’t worry, I’ll get her.” You hopped up, excited to see her when she finally got to see him for the first time in over a week, you took the stairs two at a time as you heard her crying get more intense.

As you picked her up, you completely forgot that Tyler had the monitor, and could hear and see you tending to her. “Oh my goodness.” You cooed, scooping her up, “your daddy is so excited to see you.” You grinned, kissing her chubby cheeks, making a brief face of disgust as you got a whiff of her diaper, “let’s get you cleaned up first.” You whispered, grabbing her a new outfit, this one having dealt with a small blowout. You quickly changed her and put her in her little jean shorts and a pink shirt, if it wasn’t for you, you were certain Tyler wouldn’t have anything girly for her to wear. He was watching the whole time as you took care of her like she was your own, his heart swelling in his chest, he’d always had a thing for you, but as he saw you with his baby, it only made him fall harder. And he became determined to make you his by the time he was back to playing.

He turned the monitor off and shimmied himself to be sitting up more properly as you came down the stairs, “who is that, Willow?” You gasped, pointing towards Tyler, she began to bounce in your arms. “It’s daddy.” You grinned at her, walking over to him and allowing him to take her. He breathed out in relief, “I missed you so much, baby girl.” He groaned, hugging her tightly, she pushed on him so she could lean back and look at him, she looked at him with a completely serious face before trying to bite his nose. He broke into a fit of laughter as he moved her away from his face, “that’s not nice princess.” He joked, tickling her sides, she giggled swinging her little legs as he lifted her up. “I swear she grew in a week.” He mumbled, sitting her on his good side, she sat on the couch, chewing on her hands and getting drool everywhere. “And she sits now.” He groaned, dramatically resting his head in the couch, she mimicked him and fell into the cushion. “Crazy girl.” You commented, taking the chance while she was distracted to tie up the top part of her hair, she definitely had his hair and all it did was fall in her eyes. Tyler smirked at you, you rolled your eyes at him, “now she looks like a real little princess.” You quipped to him, he faked a gasp, dramatically hoisting her into his chest. “How dare Y/N say that about my princess.”

It was a lot of extra work, and mess, but you brought her jar of food and bib to the couch so Tyler could feed her, knowing it was one of his favorite times with her as she was so smiley. “Have you ever tried this?” Tyler asked curiously as you sat beside him with her in your lap, she happily ate the spoonful of puréed apples, peas and beets. “Baby food?” You asked with a laugh, he nodded, pushing some more into her gummy smile, she gnawed on the spoon as he tried to take it away. “No, I haven’t.” You answered as you contained your laughter, “I tried it once, I figured it couldn’t be so bad, and it was even worse than bad.” He explained, carefully prying the spoon from her hands, she pouted at him, about to cry until he gave her the last bite and let her chew on the soft rubber spoon. “I’m sure it was.” You snickered, lightly wiping around her mouth, “when’s that first tooth gonna come in? Hmm.” He spoke to her, rubbing her little tummy as she burped, he smiled at her, the love he had for her was something only a father and daughter could share, and it was beautiful as you could see the concern on his face as she began to whimper. You let him take her as you went to get rid of the jar and spoon, coming back with her bottle.

“I just changed her, so she should be good for a while after this, is it alright if I go get some work done?” You asked him, he easily nodded as he laid her back on his chest, holding the bottle up to her lips as she eagerly started sucking on it. “Yeah, of course.” He spoke, not hearing you had already started walking away once he nodded, he smiled as you were tying your hair up sloppily while you walked, something you’d always done when you were getting focused on a project.

He turned on the golf channel, sinking into the couch with Willow as she fell asleep once her bottle was empty, he laid her down in the cushion beside him, boxing her in with a rolled up blanket and leaving his hand resting on her as he himself fell asleep.

***

Tyler had been home for a couple of weeks, physical therapy had been stepping up a lot, which meant he was incredibly sore by the time he got home, and incredibly stubborn. He figured, if he could do it just fine with a doctor walking beside him, there was no reason he couldn’t walk ten feet into the bathroom. Well, he quickly found out he was wrong as he stumbled from a pain in his hip and ended up on his knees, cursing as he couldn’t push himself up. You heard him fall, then the sounds of him cursing to himself and you shot up. “Tyler!” You called, rushing towards his room, he felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you rounded the corner. “Hey, hey, are you ok?” You gasped kneeling beside him. He shook his head, slumping against the wall in defeat, “what’s wrong?” You asked, looking over him, trying to make sure he didn’t pull any stitches, or injure himself again. “I just can’t get up.” He muttered, slamming his fist on the wall. “I’m a fucking professional athlete and I can’t stand up on my own!” He snapped, he thought you’d move away at the tone of his voice, but you didn’t, you only moved closer, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. “I know, Ty. It’s going to be ok.” You whispered, his breathing was ragged as he finally gave in and hugged you back. He calmed down as you just stayed there, letting him hug you as tight as he needed, you pushed his curly mop of hair back once he completely calmed down. “You ready to get back up again?” You whispered, he nodded watching you stand up and give him your hands. “Just push with your good leg, alright.” You gently reminded him, stepping a little sideways to give your feet some traction. “One, two, three.” You pulled on his hands as he slid up, his back against the wall steadying him, he planted both feet on the ground, you quickly grabbed his crutches.

“I’ll just wait until you’re back in bed.” You mumbled, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, he nodded, hobbling to the bathroom right outside the room. Your adrenaline high quickly crashed as you waited for him, and you found yourself laying flat on the bed as you waited.

Tyler came back into the room, stopping in the doorway as he saw you stretched out on half of the bed. A smile came over his face as you shifted in your sleep, burying half your face in the pillow, inhaling softly as you felt at peace. He didn’t wake you, he couldn’t bring himself too, so he carefully got into the opposite side of the bed, the thumping in his chest so loud he was certain you could feel it as you subconsciously rolled towards him, resting your hand on his chest as he threw the blanket over you.

Eventually, morning came, and when you woke up in the empty bed, the events of last night came rushing back and you leaped out of bed, not only was Willow crying from her room, but you didn’t see Tyler anywhere, you instantly became worried he’d fallen again and you’d slept right through it. “Y/N?” Tyler called as you went rushing past the kitchen looking for him. “Tyler!” You gasped in relief, placing a hand over your chest as you saw him pouring a cup of coffee. “I thought you fell again, oh my god, where did you sleep? Oh, the baby, let me get the baby!” You rambled heading for the stairs, he chuckled as he listened to you stomp up them, Willow’s crying soon stopping as you picked her up.

He was feeling a little better today, so he managed to get Willow’s morning bottle ready, and some toast for himself, settling himself at the table as you came down the steps. Your hair was tangled in itself, you didn’t have makeup on, and you were in oversized sweats and a tank top, but you’d never looked better to him as you giggled with his daughter on your hip.

You called his name as you walked into the kitchen, spotting him at the table, he didn’t answer, but his eyes were pointed in your direction, “Tyler?” You called again, snapping your fingers. He blinked, “what? Sorry.” Tyler muttered sheepishly, “did you want eggs?” You asked him, eyeing him suspiciously as you maneuvered Willow in your arms to give her her bottle. She happily started drinking it as you propped it up on your cheek, pulling the eggs out of the fridge. “Give her to me.” Tyler chuckled, making grabby hands for her as you struggled to balance everything, you happily gave her over, glancing back as he cooed down to her, whispering a good morning as he kissed her messy head of his hair, they looked so like in that moment, Tyler with his hair sticking all over the place, and Willow with hers pushed to the side from you, with a clip barely holding it back.

“I’m not sure if you’re up to it, or if you want to, but I was going to go to the pumpkin patch later today, if you and Willow want to come?” You offered, “I know you hate having to use that wheelchair but it would be so fun to see her next to all those giant pumpkins.” You raddled on, giving Tyler the chance to admire you, “yeah, that sounds fun.” He answered, smiling when you turned to face him excitedly, “I’m sure you have some cute outfit for her planned out too.” He rolled his eyes jokingly, and you nodded eagerly, of course you did, how could you not, it is her first fall season after all.

“Here ya go.” You mumbled, sliding a plate in front of him, he furrowed his eyebrows, “I never answered about the eggs.” He didn’t argue though, as he picked up his fork and took a bite. “I know, but you’re doing a lot today, you need them.” You giggled, offering a small piece to Willow, now nearly eight months old. She happily mushed it with her couple of teeth, smiling brightly at Tyler, he nodded reassuring her that she was doing good.

Finally you were loading up into the car to go out for a while, Willow dressed in the cutest outfit she had, something you’d bought before she was even born. The belle sleeve onesie just barely still fit her chunky frame, and the red overall skirt over top just made her look even more adorable, and of course, a matching red bow in her hair. Tyler jokingly didn’t approve of how short her skirt was as he took her from you once you arrived, she sat perched on his lap as you pushed the wheelchair down the isles, thankful for the wood boards they had put down as paths in the dirt, Willow was making noises at everything she saw, reaching out to touch the pumpkins every once in a while. “Let me get a picture of you two.” You stopped his chair next to a huge pile of pumpkins, and he stood Willow up on his lap as she grinned at you, it was by far one of your favorite photos of them so far.

An older couple was walking by and smiled at you, “would you like me to take a photo for you?” She asked, and before you could even process her words, Tyler was answering with a yes please. You felt the blood rush to your face as you approached him, he handed Willow to you, and you were about to stand beside him but he gently pulled you to sit on his good leg, you didn’t have time to react, you only smiled for the camera just like he was. “Oh, how beautiful.” The older woman cheered, handing the phone back over to you. “Thanks.” You mumbled, Willow hiding her face in your neck, suddenly shy. You clicked on the picture, and you felt like your chest would explode, you looked like a family, but you weren’t. “Y/N?” Tyler called, you quickly shoved your phone in your pocket, “are you ready to go?” He asked, taking the baby back from you, confusion laced in his tone as he saw the look on your face. “Yeah, Uh, yeah let’s go.” You mumbled, pushing the chair towards the exit, he held in a sigh, trying to figure out what had caused your sudden mood change.

***

“It’s Christmas!” You heard Tyler cheer as he got Willow out of her crib, the nine month old clapping her hands out of his excitement. Tyler was on the upside now, his second surgery complete, and now rehabbing both, he was able to walk without his crutches, he had to go slow on the stairs, but the doctor encouraged him to keep working on them. In a few weeks he’s going to be skating for the first time in months, and you were terrified, meanwhile he was ecstatic, ready to feel like his normal self again. You smiled, keeping your eyes shut as your door opened, “it’s Christmas!” Tyler shouted, putting Willow on the bed and letting her crawl up to your head, mushing on your cheeks, you gasped lifting her up quickly, sending her into a fit of giggles in her reindeer pajamas. “Christmas? Your first one!” You spoke to her, Tyler smiled, sitting beside you. “Merry Christmas.” He whispered, handing you an envelope, he laughed as you put Willow down and quickly pushed yourself to be sitting against the headboard beside him. She made her little baby babble as she played with the bunched up blanket. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” You spoke softly, opening the envelope, revealing a gorgeous Christmas card. “Oh shush, just read it.” You could hear the nerves in his tone, you shot him a smile before letting your eyes run over the extensive writing he’d done.

“Y/N, you have been a godsend in mine and Willow’s life, there isn’t anyone else I would’ve trusted to leave her with during all of this, there isn’t anyone else I’d want to be helping me off the floor at three am. What I’m trying to get at is,

There isn’t anyone else. I don’t think there will be anyone else.

So, if you’d kindly accept my gift, dinner, without Willow, a date, that’s what I’d like to call it.

Love, Tyler.”

“What’s the matter, Seguin? Too afraid to ask me in person?” You quipped, he opened and closed his mouth searching for the right words to say, “is that a yes?” He finally asked, a hopeful look dancing in his eyes. “Of course it’s a yes. I’ve only been waiting months for you to ask.” You giggled, catching him off guard by pecking his lips, it isn’t like you two hadn’t shared kisses before, but it was normally in a drunken state. “Uh-huh.” He hummed pulling you back in for a proper kiss, Willow shrieked, startling you both. She was looking at you angrily, before snuggling up to her dad, as if saying you weren’t allowed near him. “Good job, princess, gotta protect daddy from mean ol’ Y/N.” He murmured to her, earning a glare from you, but as he broke into laughter, you couldn’t even keep up your charades. “Come on, it’s Christmas, she’s got presents to open.” You mumbled, kissing her chubby cheek, “presents!” He cheered, holding her up highly, she giggled as he lunged her back down.

The date had gone as good as you could’ve hoped,

not exactly how he’d planned, but still a great night, the sitter had cancelled, and the restaurant he wanted to take you too didn’t offer a pick up option, so you ended up eating pizza on the living room floor, watching Disney movies, per your request, and talking about everything and anything. And of course, there were lots of stolen kisses.

***

“It’s alright to be a little scared you know.” You reminded your now boyfriend, he was about to go on the ice for the first time in months, and the anxiety just hit him, what if’s repeating themselves in his head. Willow was fast asleep in the stroller, tired from her own activities this morning. “But–“ “No but, you’ve got this babe, you’ve been warming up to this for months, hell, you probably skate better than you walk.” You cut him off, giving him a short pep talk, you squealed in delight when he pulled you in for a quick kiss. You pulled away with a smile, “now, go show that ice whose boss.” You giggled, pecking him once more before patting his shoulder, you weren’t allowed to watch him rinkside, no distractions allowed, so you took Willow for a short walk, all the while she slept. You kept yourself busy, getting caught up with things on your phone as you waited for Tyler to call and say he was done.

Finally as you went back to get him, Willow was awake but grumpy, and hungry, so you kind of just rushed in with her on your hip. Also remembering you had some stuff to do for work today that was time sensitive, “how’d it go?” You asked as you bounced her in an attempt to get her to calm down. Tyler slung his bag over his shoulder, “it was great, rusty, but it felt good.” He explained shortly, sending your urgency, “I’ll put her in the car.” He offered, taking her from you, and instantly she calmed down, only making you feel worse. You knew it was common for her to go through phases, hell, she’d done this with Tyler where she wanted nothing to do with him for almost a whole month, you didn’t realize how bad it would hurt. He shot you an apologetic smile, “hey, just take a deep breath. You’re gonna get everything done on time.” He assured you.

***

New Years had come and gone, and Willow’s first birthday was quickly approaching, as were her first steps. Tyler was sad that they were going to be happening so soon, but at the same time he was beyond excited for her to be running around in no time.

She quickly grew out of the phase of only wanting Tyler, which both of you were grateful for, as he could see it eating away at you.

“Come on, come to dada.” You heard Tyler, you peeked your head around the wall, seeing him sitting on the floor arms reach away from Willow, she looked at him quizzically, reaching her arms out, she wobbled but didn’t fall. “Come on baby.” He encouraged her, she took one step, two, three, and he just kept sliding back until she couldn’t go any further. “Oh my god!” You and Tyler shouted at the same time, “shit,” he jumped now knowing you were behind him. “Hi.” You laughed, sitting beside him, “I think you officially have a walker on your hands.” You told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He furrowed his brows for a moment, he looked as if he was going to say something, but then decided against it. “Yeah I do.” He chuckled in agreement, setting her back on her feet and grinning as she did it again, and again, and again until she was too tired to do anymore and just plopped herself on your lap.

“Hi baby.” You mumbled, kissing her forehead, she sighed, nuzzling into your neck, instantly falling asleep. “She loves you.” Tyler mumbled, tucking your loose hair behind your hair, you bit your lip as you looked over at him. “I love you.” He breathed out, relief hitting him when you broke into a huge smile, “I love you, Ty.” You mumbled, he kissed you as good as he could with Willow curled up on your lap. “Let’s go put her to bed, yeah.” He laughed, taking her from you and disappearing to her room in record speed.

***

Tyler had his first morning skate today, finally getting back into a routine with the team, he was anxious as it was on a Saturday, thankfully no game today, but it was Willow’s birthday party. Of course, all planned by you, Tyler clueless on what to do for a one year old, all he knew is it had to be puppy themed, because those were her absolute favorite things.

“Woah.” Tyler stopped in his tracks, seeing the decorations you’d spread out around the house, his dogs happily laying with party hats on their heads. “Baby, this is awesome.” He chuckled as you came around the corner to greet him, “I know it is.” You laughed, welcoming the hug he offered you. “Thanks for doing all this for her.” He mumbled against your head, “of course.”

***

“Dada, dada, dada!” Willow shrieked running towards him, “Willow?” He gasped, his first game back resulting in a loss, but he scored and you couldn’t lie, it made you emotional. And he was all the clueless to you two being here, “surprise!” You grinned as he scooped her up, “you came?” He mumbled in shock, kissing his daughter before pulling you in with his other arm, “of course we came.” You whispered against his lips, smiling as he finally kissed you, “you did so amazing, babe, I’m so proud of you.” You cupped his jaw with one hand, “thank you.” Is all he could get out before Willow started to speak. She reached for you, “mama.” Your breathing hitched, and Tyler’s smile had grown. You looked to him, afraid to over step, “yes baby, that’s mama.” He assured her, “Tyler.” You cautioned, taking her as she kept reaching for you.

“Y/N, she’s just as much yours as she is mine, you’ve been here since she came home, you’ve taken care of her like a mother, and I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon. So yes. You’re her mom.” His words brought tears to your eyes, he smiled softly wiping away the tears, kissing your forehead as Willow watched curiously, she kissed your cheek with a smile, having learned early on to be affectionate to people she liked. “Thank you baby,” you cooed to her, resting your head on top of hers. “Mama?” She hummed, smiling against you. “Yeah.” You agreed. “I love you.” Tyler sighed, snapping a picture of his girls, he said the words right before he snapped the picture, getting the most genuine smile from you. “I love you.”

taglist: @boqvistsbabe @tortito @2manytabsopen @heybarzy @barzysreputation @yzas-stuff @iwantahockeyhimbo @calgarycanuck

#tyler seguin #imagine #imagines #Tyler seguin imagine #Tyler seguin imagines #Tyler seguin fic #Tyler seguin story #Dallas stars

[ageofevermore]

Eighteen | T. Holland

Summary → you’re tired of feeling like the world silences you, but after an interview with sebastian and anthony, you start to wonder if maybe it’s your fault.

Warning(s) → mentions of anxiety, mentions of sexual harassment, mentions of inequality in gender roles, use of the word slut, fluff if you squint 

Word Count → 1.9k

Note → this is a heavier topic, one that might be personal to some. if you don’t think you can handle the subject matter, please don’t force yourself to. this is relatively watered down, but it doesn’t take a genius to see what’s not being said. the ending features boyfriend!tom consoling the reader, so it does end on a fluffy note, but don’t hold out for those few ending paragraphs. 

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It’s getting hotter in the interviews. A thin layer of sweat sparkles on your skin, and even though the air conditioning has been turned down multiple times, there are too many people in the room to feel any drastic differences. It’s unfortunate for you. Hot flashes are a lovely addition to your anxiety disorder, and press always sets your nerves ablaze. It doesn't matter what project you’re promoting, who you're partnered with, or what you're wearing-- you’re always hot. 

Your cheeks are flushed dangerously when the last interview before lunch is called for yourself, Sebastian, and Anthony. This is your first press tour as an adult. You joined the marvel franchise years ago, when being eighteen felt like the equivalent of turning thirty, and you weren’t blind to the changes of tone. People were harsher to you, more forward. If they weren’t shutting you up, they were hinting at something less then appropriate, usually something sexual. 

The next interview started with a short introduction to the media outlet, and your interviewer. He was middle aged, kind smile, salt and pepper hair. He asked for your names, then he told you his, and one by one he shook your hands. His grip on you was criminal, lasting longer than was comfortable. Sebastian and Anthony we’re oblivious to the few extra seconds of contact between you and him, but it made your skin crawl in a familiar discomfort. 

Your fingers curled into fists, heart high in your throat. The questions started out easy. They were mostly directed towards the boys, like always, but this time you couldn’t find yourself to be annoyed. You had dealt with handsy and sexually charged men before, but he set a fire beneath you. It wasn’t behavior you should tolerate, but being a woman in the industry, inappropriate touches and glances we’re easier ignored then dealt with. When you spoke up you caused drama, made headlines, attracted nasty social media comments that called you a whore. It was easier to just internalize. 

“Y/N.” 

You hummed, looking towards the call of your name. He was smiling sweetly at you again, a predatory glint in his eyes that put you on edge. You shifted your weight closer to Anothony unconsciously giving the hungry man your professional attention and a nod. 

He shuffles through his index cards, but his eyes don’t read the scripted questions his employers have supplied him with. It’s not often male interviews do their own research, usually they’re briefed by a colleague and handed a set of questions and topic point by a higher level employee, but this man doesn’t even read the card before he’s staring you down and opening his mouth. 

“You finally got the Stark suit update,” He says, motioning towards the promo poster that shows off your CGI suit in all of its edited glory. Although the actual costume is breathtaking, the computer effects give it an entirely different, more technologically charged, feel. 

“Yeah,” You nod, a forced smile on your lips as you try to ease the uncomfortable tension from your tone. “She’s finally--” 

He cuts you off before you can give him any explanation for the upgrade. He isn’t the first one to address your new wardrobe, but he’s the first one to leave you antsy and uncomfortable. Sebastian frowns when you’re cut off, but he doesn’t think much of it. He lets the man continue, though a professional sharpness pulls his grin into a scowl. 

“Were you able to wear undergarments underneath it? It’s tight, doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Was there ever a moment where you reflected how much your wardrobe has changed through the years?” He asks, a dirty grin on his lips. 

Sebastian and Anthony are shocked at the blunt, inappropriate construction of his question. The public eye knew nothing of your battles with body image, or health concerns that lead to surgery. Your mind was plagued with doubts and self-criticism, and his invasive, pervy question both infuriated you and broke you apart. 

You stutter to find an answer, heat overwhelming you. Your hand grips onto Anthony’s arm, and you can’t decide whether anger is what burns your skin or anxiety. Are you making a big deal of this? You don’t know. You feel like you have every right to feel violated and uncomfortable, but you’re a young woman in the entertainment industry, isn’t this the kind of ignorant commentary you signed up for? You don’t know anymore. You grew up with people always having an opinion on your appearance, sexualizing you as early as twelve. You’ve carried around pepper spray and  self-defense keychains long before you even had an understanding towards predatory men and sexual assault. You’ve been conditioned by the world and the media to carry on with your day, no matter the broken boundaries or disrespect. You’re tired of remaining silent, feeling like your less than your male counterparts. Women and men should hold no differing values in society, and yet you walk to your apartment with keys between your fingers and Tom doesn’t even lock his front door. 

“I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.” You choke out, voice hard and nowhere near the soft and frilly pitch it usually obtains. You’re livid, absolutely pissed to the point of a quivering cupids bow. You’re humiliated, and horrified. Your feelings are everywhere, but you remain as professional as you can. If you yell, try to defend yourself at all, you’ll be painted as a diva in every media outlet for the next week, subliminally inviting backlash and slut-shaming comments into your social media messages. If Sebastian and Anthony come to your defense, they’ll be sung high-praises. 

The double standards men and women are held to, especially in the industry, is infuriating. 

He stumbles out a response, but his time is already up. For the first time today, you’re thankful these interviews are only ten minutes. He leaves the room, shown out by security, and even then he still sends you a wink over his shoulder as if your glimmering eyes meant nothing. 

“Hey,” Sebastian's voice is soft, his hand on the small of your back. You flinch away from his contact, head heavy in memories you’d rather forget. 

“Sorry,” You mumble, voice trembling with tears that you refuse to let fall. You’ve already been humiliated, you don’t need to further paint yourself as some helpless teenage girl. “I’m sorry. I’m going to go find Tom.” 

Anthony and Sebastian nod tightly. They watch as you quiver in your heels, hands clenched into fists at your sides. They’re proud of the way you handled yourself, though still absolutely enraged that any adult would find it appropriate to address you like that, especially in a professional setting. 

You stumble into the dressing rooms, right into your boyfriend's chest. Your mind is racing, but the minute you attach yourself to him, you break down. Shy sobs break Tom’s heart. He holds the back of your head to his chest, other hand on the small of your back and wrapped around your waist as you cry. You’re trying to stay quiet, but the attention is already on you. Chris and Robert are worried, and Zoe’s trying to act like she hasn’t noticed, but they don’t all watch as you try to console yourself with your boyfriend's warmth. 

“What happened?” Tom’s voice is soft, trying to keep this a private moment. He tries to move the both of you back into a corner, but you panic and squeeze around his waist tighter. “Baby,” 

You and Tom have been dating for six months, and although you’ve shared with him stories of your traumatic experiences as a woman living in LA, he’s never seen anything upset you like this. 

“I’m such a slut.” Your words come out so shy and small, you aren’t even sure you can hear yourself. No matter how  many times you tell yourself that your makeup and clothes don’t give men permission to make passes or feel you up, it’s getting harder to believe that your verbal consent is as strong as your clothes. Maybe you are asking for it, and in a wave of nausea, disgusted with yourself, your arms leave Tom’s waist to pull at the bottom of your borrowed dress. 

You’ve been hit on in sweats before. In ball gowns and crop tops. Somebody’s even pushed themselves against you while you wore Tom’s hoodie, but you still convince yourself that it’s your fault. That you we’re asking for it. 

Tom’s jaw sets harshly into place, and he tilts your chin upwards to meet his eye. His brown stare is hard, only adding to your distress. Maybe he agrees. Maybe he’ll blame you for what just happened. He’s probably going to break up with you. Other guys just can’t keep their hands and eyes off of you. He doesn’t want a slut for a girlfriend. 

“What the fuck did you just say, Y/N?” His tone causes you to flinch, words bouncing off of the dressing room walls. Everyone flinches, hearing only his heavy response. You try to divert your attention, but Tom squeezes your jaw, forcing your eyes back on his. “Say it again.” 

“I’m such a slut.” You sniffle, submitting beneath his fiery glare. Tensions are high as you try not to break down again. Apart from Tom, everyone in the room has watched you grow up, never losing that shy and sweet sense of yourself. You’re an exuberant light, a brilliant scene partner, a rising star who has big things in store for the future. You are many things, but a slut, isn’t one of them. 

Tom looks behind you, glaring straight at Anthony and Sebastion who are both stone eyed and still. They’ve not calmed down any since leaving the production room, instead, it seems their anger has only risen. The sight of you so distraught churns their stomachs. 

“Some asshole tried to make a pass.” Sebastion said in short, words angry and delivered as such. 

Tom’s breath hitched, his arms tightening around you and pulling you closer to his chest. His chin digs into your crown, eyes pinches shut as his hot exhale feels heavy. 

“You aren’t a slut, Y/N.” He doesn’t leave any room for argument, but you try anyways. Tom has no patience for it, and so he tilts your head back and plants his lips against yours harshly and eagerly, desperate to show you love and intimacy. “You. Aren’t. A. Slut.”

You nod, ducking your head back down into his chest as you try to believe him-- try to remember that you never asked for hands around your waist, or cupping your boobs. Wolf whistles, or handshakes that turn into forced frontal hugs. You didn’t ask for any of the harassment, no matter the outfits you wore and what they revealed.  

Tom lowers his voice, whispers melting into your hair, “This isn’t your fault, baby. Please believe me. None of this, is your fault. It’s disgusting and inappropriate, and you don’t deserve to deal with any of it.” 

You sniffle. You can’t tell him you believe him, not yet. Not when your heart is so heavy. Maybe one day you’ll believe him, but that’s just not now. 

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[nurse-buckley]

I’m Fine

Fandom: Star Trek Word Count: 1,515 Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader Warnings: Minor mentions of death. Mentions of blood and injury.  Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz @fireladybuckley @pupandangelscoffee @winterreader-nowwriter @iamasimpingh0e @dayrin085 @evanbuckos @gigglyparker  Thank you to my amazing beta @evanbuckos​ Request from @moose-on-the-l00se I am so sorry it took so long my love.  You are on an away mission and as ever and much to Leonard’s dismay, you always put others before yourself. 

You’d decided to go on the away mission as the crew’s medic instead of Leonard. He’d been apprehensive at first, but you both knew he had charting to catch up on and the last of a few yearly medicals he had to get through. Putting them off any longer would only put him further behind. 

You weren’t expecting to end up being one of the casualties yourself, as an explosion knocked you off of your feet, sending you and your crew flying backwards against the blast. You were briefly knocked unconscious, your ears rang as you came back to your senses. You felt a pounding sensation in your head, you reached up, hissing as your palm was met with blood that dripped from the wound that had appeared there. 

You lay still for a moment; you moved each limb one at a time, checking yourself for injury. Happy that your limbs were all intact, you sat up slowly, but were stopped by a sudden shooting pain that radiated from your side. You looked down to see a piece of shrapnel that protruded from your side. 

Another crew member rushed to your side, but stopped short when they saw the metal sticking out from you. Their hands shook as they hovered over your wounded side as they looked at you for confirmation on what to do. 

“Go into my kit, grab a pack of gauze and the medical tape,” you ordered them. 

They did as you said, placing the items you had requested beside you. Their eyes widened in shock as you gripped your hand tightly around the shrapnel and pulled with a cry of pain. You took the gauze from the other crew member and secured it tightly to your side with a few pieces of tape. 

Leonard was finishing up with an ensign’s medical when a siren blared through the medbay, followed by the captain’s voice over the ship's intercom. “Prepare for incoming trauma. Number of casualties unknown. Doctor McCoy, report to the transporter deck.”  

The doctor’s blood ran cold at the transmission. He knew something had gone wrong with the mission you’d attended. Leonard turned to his nurse in charge, Christine, ordering her to discharge any non-critical patients and clear any non-emergent surgeries planned for the day. Leonard grabbed a trauma bag, and headed to the transporter room for further orders from his captain. 

He met the captain in the transporter room, who immediately began to run him down on the situation. The away mission had been a trap, what was supposed to be peace talks, turning into something quite the opposite. An explosion had been set off, causing mass casualties. Leonard’s blood ran cold at Kirk’s brief, his blood running cold at the thought of you being one of the injured, or worse; one of the many he knew he wouldn’t be able to save today. 

Pushing back the fears running through his mind, Leonard made his way onto the transporter deck. With one last ‘good luck’ from the captain, him and a few other crew members; various medics and members of security were encircled with golden swirls as they materialised down to the planet below. 

When the group arrived, they were met with chaos. Screams of agony and distress could be heard from every direction. Crew members with various degrees of injury, some more serious than others. Leonard, however, was only focussed on one thing in that moment; finding you. His eyes scanned the unmoving bodies on the floor. Finally, he heard your voice; loud and commanding. He saw you, bloodied wound on your head, in the middle of treating a civilian. 

The doctor had to stop himself from running to your side. He had his own mission, and patients to tend to. You were alive, and breathing; and for now, that had to be enough for him. He’d tend to you when you were back on the ship, safe and sound in your shared quarters. With that, he busied himself, triaging patients. Labelling those he couldn’t save with a black tag and using the traffic light system to tag those more serious to the walking wounded. 

You found yourself back to back with him at various points as your paths crossed while treating the wounded crew members and civilians. 

“You okay, darlin’?” he asked from your side. 

You nod, “I’m good.” You know that was a lie, but there were still casualties to see to. 

It took another hour and a half for you, Leonard and the other crew members to triage and transport people back to the enterprise. The trauma beds quickly filled up and the surgery list doubled to what it was earlier that morning. 

Leonard took you aside as soon as you were back on the enterprise. Setting you on a spare chair, you protest against him, trying to get up from the seat, knowing you were needed elsewhere. But he pushed you back down with a gentle hand to your shoulder. 

“I’m fine Leonard, really,” you insisted. 

“I know you are darlin’, humour me though.” He gave you a look, knowing arguing would be futile. 

He gathered a few supplies from a cart nearby, tearing open a pack of gauze and vial of saline to clean the wound on your forehead. He gently cleaned the wound, wincing every time you hissed as if the action were hurting himself, not wanting to see you in pain, let alone being the one to cause it. Once satisfied you didn’t need sutures, he taped a piece of gauze to the wound and placed a gentle kiss atop of the bandage. You pushed him away with a smile, loving how soft he was with you but also knowing that you really did have to get back to work. 

You could feel yourself growing weaker throughout the shift, the adrenaline had slowly been wearing off as the patients you were seeing were either discharged or admitted for a longer stay or surgery. 

Unbeknownst to you, Leonard had been watching you closely, not being happy with your condition earlier but knowing he wouldn’t have been able to stop you from helping the others. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn’t handle the onslaught of patients without another doctor with him. 

You saw him from the corner of your eye as he made his way towards you. He placed gentle hands around the tops of your arms, pulling you aside as he excused you from the patient you were currently dealing with, handing them over to a nurse. He held you at arms length, taking in your slightly pale appearance, noticing the light sheen of sweat that formed over your brow. 

“You sure you’re feeling okay darlin’, I really would prefer it if you let me check you over.” 

“I’m fine Leonard, nothing a good shower, dinner and rest won’t cure when we get out of here.” 

He made a non-commital noise, trusting you that if something were wrong you’d tell him. He pulled you in for a hug, not missing how your body stiffened against him. He held you at arms length, his eyebrow quirking up in that inquisitive look of his you loved so much. It’s then he noticed the small stain of blood, seeping through the blue of your uniform. 

“You’re bleeding,” he stated. 

You placed a hand to your side, sucking in a breath through gritted teeth as pain flared through your side. As you pulled your hand away, you noticed your palm covered in the slick wet blood that had seemingly seeped through the dressing you’d placed earlier, as well as the fabric of your tunic. 

“Oh…” is all you managed before you felt the energy drain from your body and fell into Leonards solid body, comforting and warm as he gently lowered you to the ground. You vaguely heard the commotion around you as Leonard called for a gurney and felt yourself being lifted before the comforting darkness invited you into its embrace. 

When you came to, the pain you were feeling before was gone, replaced by a numb and tingly feeling where the wound had been before. You felt the warmth of someone else's hand in your own holding on tight, as if they let go, you’d disappear. Opening your eyes, you were met with Leonard’s concerned gaze, his eyes locked on your face. 

“How’re you feeling?” 

“A little sore and tired, but I’m-” 

“If you say ‘I’m fine’ one more time, I swear,” he chuckled, but the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. “How many times do I need to remind you that you need to look after yourself if you want to look after others,” he sighed. 

You settled deeper into the pillow, the drugs Leonard had given you keeping you pain free and sleepy. “I’m sorry,” you sighed. 

Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, not covered by a bandage. “What am I going to do with you?” He asked, as you fought sleep. “Doesn’t matter, rest now. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

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