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sjhanny2000 · 2 years

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Fights and Sweet Touches (Part 1)

A/N: Hey everybody, long time no see! As you can see, a drabble of mine has once again turned into a two parter! I hope to finish the second part soon, life allowing lol. This one is proving to be a douse, emotionally at least. If you enjoyed it, please leave a comment! I love to hear back from you guys!

Warning(s): Domestic argument, ANGST, hurt, mild sexual content, mentions of parental neglect and abuse, verbal assault, trauma, past demon attack mentioned, self-deprecating thoughts

~~~

To be a Demon Slayer, you must be ready to sacrifice everything to protect those who cannot protect themselves. What a well known fact this was to you, for you had not one but all four your spouses were a part of the Demon Slayer Corps., your husband being the Sound Hashira even. Tengen took his job very seriously, as did Suma, Hinatsuru, and Makio, enough that they were gone more often than not, exterminating some demon terrorizing the good people of Japan with style as he liked to say. You were proud to call them your spouses, heart always beaming with fond pride at hearing their stories on how they saved civilians and lower ranked demon slayers alike, and even more happy that they always returned home to you.

However, since your run-in with that village demon nearly nine months ago now, it had become harder for you to cope with their absence, to watch them leave from the gates whilst swallowing the bitter pill of reality that reminded you that it may be the last time you see them. Your fears increased with every departure, anxiety damn near suffocating you as you struggled to function, to find rhythm once again in your life even after all of this time. All you wanted was for them to come and stay, to have a peaceful civilian full of laughter and their bubbly personalities, knowing that all five of you were safe and sound within the wisteria walls of the estate.

These feelings seemed to have increased rapidly since Tanjiro, Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke stayed at your home, Nezuko lighting your inner desire once again to settle down and have a child of your own, much like Hikari first did. You were a month shy of your nineteenth birthday, the same age your mother became pregnant with your eldest siblings Tsuna and Tsunamaru, and a piece of you wanted the ability to mother a child that looked just like your husband with a headful of silver-white locks. Tengen had been quite adamant on not starting a family until he and your shared wives retired, believing it to be “undesirably flashy” to leave his children at home whilst being out and about slaughtering demons. It was honestly frustrating to you, having to be left at home while they ventured together and being denied the possibility of filling that loneliness with a wanted child simply because Tengen wished to wait till they all retired. When was that going to be though? It could be years before they decided to settle into civilian life, to no longer race across the countryside en-route to their next mission even though they dispatched a demon just hours before. So much of your life was on hold because of their occupation and it left you feeling upset and unsatisfied more days than not, especially when Hikari was unable to work alongside you throughout the day.

You let out a sigh of defeat as you finished mending a pair of Tengen’s pants, tying the knot with a bat of an eye and placing it to the side. It had been a righteously beautiful day outside, one you refused to spend inside wallowing in your feelings. Instead, you had gotten dressed and went to work, cleaning up your entire garden and more; you tended to the koi pond, Hinatsuru’s meditation garden, picked up and organized the training field, and tidied up your shared bedroom and craft room as well. To someone who knew very little of you, they would simply believe that you were an active person who chose to keep busy and make good use of their time and resources. However, anyone with any inkling of your personality and quirks knew that when stressed or upset, you clean, organized, and hurried about even after everything had been taken care of. Those were the days that all the kakushi and a majority of the staff steered clear of you, aside from those closest to you, they being Nao-san, Nana-san, and Kiki-san. Never did you snap but you were often either kurt or lost within the sea of your mind, reminiscing sweet memories or longing to make new ones with your spouses and the friends you had come to make since Tengen brought you home. Since Nezuko and Tanjiro’s meeting with the widely-dreaded Muzan Kibutsuji it seemed that demons were on the move, with all of the hashira constantly away from their estates nowadays. Your bi-weekly girls’ days with the Love and Insect hashiras, the Butterfly Girls, and your wives had become obsolete in the past few months, no one having the time to sit down over tea and homemade treats while talking simple gossip.

With your spouses’ gone, your sparse social time now non-existent, and the needling baby fever increasing, you felt quite out of sorts in matters possible. Your mood seemed to be worsening by the day and no matter what you or anyone else did to lift it, it only made everything worse. Nana-san and Kiki-san had attempted to whittle your feelings and thoughts from you, seeming to be worried about your increasingly troubling behavior and attitude and you would simply brush them away and seal up the cracks in the mask of cheerful indifference you wore nowadays.

Perched on the edge of the back engawa, you were doing your best to soothe your sad, heavy thoughts by busying yourself with clothes that needed mending, specifically Tengen’s uniform at the moment. Gliding the needle to and fro without a word, you watched as your mending gradually came to fruition, having been working on this particularly nasty gash on the left pant leg for nearly an hour now. You had been tempted to scrap the bottoms altogether, with the gash being so large, but you had ultimately decided against it and gotten to work. Much to your annoyance, you had gotten a late start to your day, waking well past the sunrise, and it felt as if you were behind on everything since you roused from your heavy slumber. Today also was a bit hard to swallow solely due to the fact that it had been nearly three weeks since you last saw any of your spouses, Makio having left to assist Tengen, Hinatsuru, and Suma who had already taken off to the east for yet another mission. That meant much of your downtime had been spent alone and longing for at least one of their attentions’, damn near crying as you laid alone underneath your shared gigantic comforter in a bed most definitely not made from a singular individual.

A soft breeze danced by your sitting form as you successfully tied the finishing knot, promptly sticking the needle into the pin cushion resting at your left side and adding your current spool of thread to the small basket beside it. Once that was finished, you lifted the trousers from where they laid in your lap, taking your handiwork in with a calculating gaze to ensure you had done well.

“Your work is remarkable as ever, spirit flower.”

A squeak of surprise left your lips as you jumped to your feet, eyes growing wide at the sight of your husband’s hulking figure standing just a few feet from your current position, a fond smirk sitting on his sculpted face.

“Tengen, you scared me!” Swatting at the man in retribution, you found your wrist being caught without a speck of effort, a pout sitting on your painted lips as a smirk sat on Tengen’s.

The Sound Hashira pulled your wrist towards his large frame, causing your own body to fall into his own, his face only inches away from your own. “My apologies, my sweet one, but I just couldn’t resist myself. Your reactions are always a spectacle to behold!”

Huffing in indignation, you turned your face from the man, “You’re just lucky I finished the stitching of your trousers or I could have pricked myself!”

“I believe someone of your prestigious pedigree could manage to avoid such an unflashy incident, spirit flower,” Calloused fingers came to gently take hold of your chin, lovingly guide your face to once again gaze at Tengen’s handsome one, fond adoration deep as the ocean present in his hypnotizing pools of cerise. “You are stunning as ever, my love, just as any wife of mine could be. I can only hope you haven’t worked yourself too hard in my absence, hmm?”

It was well-known to everyone who knew of your existence that neither Tengen or the girls were overly pleased with how hard you worked yourself sometimes, the four of them often arguing for you to rest more and allow the staff to handle estate matters. Such protective behavior increased following your attack but you had simply thanked them for expressing their concerns and went about your typical business. Your response to their objections was something that still proved to be a sore subject that was rarely broached in hopes of avoiding an ultimate conflict between the five of you. However, it seemed that Tengen was now willing to open Pandora’s Box.

You chose to humor him instead of addressing the jab he had just thrown, playfully rolling your eyes with a chuckle, moving to touch the tip of his nose with your own. “I minded my limits, Tengen. You don’t need to worry so much, love.”

“I’m afraid we’ll have to agree to disagree, spirit flower,” Head dipping down to your neck, Tengen’s teeth playfully biting at the flesh below your well-sculpted jaw, enticing a wave of warm pleasure to thrum within your thighs.

A gasp of your husband’s name escaped your name at the feeling, body melting willingly into his chest as your head flew backwards, allowing the shinobi full access to your neck, something Tengen wasted no time in taking advantage of.

Teeth nipping at the sweet spot between your shoulder and neck, Tengen’s chest rumbled with want. “Such a beautiful image of exquisiteness you are, spirit flower. Been fantasizing about you since my departure, being to taste your gorgeous body on my tongue, to feel you like this.”

“What a good girl you are.” His right hand came to seductively fondle your left breast, his mouth coming to rest at the shell of your ear whilst pleasured whimpers escaped your muffled lips. “Show your daddy how good you are, spirit flower, let me hear your beautiful symphony of wantonness.”

“Hnn, Tengen, please!”

You moved to press your lips against the man’s very own, tongues wrestling for dominance which the hashira ultimately obtained, adjusting your bodies so your hips came to straddle him from where he laid on the engawa. His member met your core deliciously, inciting a high pitched moan from your lips when he grounded it against your pelvis just right.

Another moan escaped you as you pulled your lips away, voice shaking with pleasure as the man returned his attention to your neck. “Want you, Tengen, want your baby!”

What had been an intense fire of lustful pleasure seemed to dwindle down to a mere spark in just a second, Tengen freezing beneath you and in turn halting his ministrations on your neck.

“What did you just say?”

Not even noticing what you had said in your lust-drunken state, you looked to your husband in worry. “Tengen, what is it?”

“What did you say?” The air grew tense with his question, your walls instantly rising in possible need of defense when the man refused to make eye contact with you.

Sitting up, you forced your urges from the forefront of your mind and dug within the rich earth of your subconscious for whatever Tengen could be suggesting and it was in that moment that realization hit you like a kunai to the heart. You froze from your place atop your husband, mouth hanging wide in horror that you had let something so damning escape your lips-!

“I-it was nothing, Tengen, just some foreplay, that’s all!” Your veins froze at seeing your husband your husband unable to look at you, his face bearing not even a shred of any emotion, something that only occurred when the man was incredibly disturbed. “Tengen?”

His hands came to grasp your waist in a way you could not describe as harshly or softly, an even medium of urgency present in his movements as he set you to the side without a word. “Tengen please, I-!”

Your words fell short at seeing the usually exuberant man enter the house without a word, never turning to look at your messily dressed person, tears pricking at the edges of your (e/c) irises, desperation slamming against the bars of your ribcage.

Scrambling to your feet, you fervently raced to stop the man with an outstretched hand, your fingers coming to wrap around his left wrist in anxious despair. “Tengen wait! Just let me explain-!”

“You don’t need to explain anything.”

Time seemed to come to a halt around you, your gaze never leaving Tengen’s rigid body, internally screaming for him to turn around, to just give you damn moment to try to mend the rift-! Much to your relief, the man slowly turned to face you, but the moment his fuchsia orbs met yours you knew there was nothing you could do.

“I understand that remaining home alone without myself or our wives can grow lonesome, Y/N. The life you presently live is not one I wish to provide you in the slightest, so cold and deplorable.” He ignored your attempts to object, continuing forward with raging bitterness on his tongue. “But it frustrates me that you dare risk bringing a child, one of our flesh and blood into this demon-infested world, simply to quell your loneliness! You have seen what the world has to offer individuals incapable of defending themselves like yourself! It is already a constant burden on my shoulders to keep innocent civilians safe, let alone keep you out of trouble when you continually disregard my orders! I am sorry your waste of a father gave you to me as payment, that I cannot provide the stability and family you desperately crave! Perhaps I should have left you to a husband that could satisfy your wants since it seems I nor Hinatsuru, Makio, or Suma aren’t enough for you!”

The silence that followed his violent was deafening. Tears cascaded down the plains of your (s/c) cheeks in a downpour, shaking hands clutched tightly to your chest as you found your world crumbling beneath your feet. This is what your husband truly thought of you, a person so egotistical and shallow that they would only care about themselves and no one else? That you were so problematic that Tengen had pondered returning you to the man who neglected and abused you for years, the very same man he swore to kill if he were ever to see him again? Were you selfish for being lonely, for wanting a child that possessed Tengen’s silvery locks and your (e/c) eyes, for dreaming of a day where your spouses’ came home permanently with demons eradicated? Did the girls view you in the same light?

Tengen was lightly panting from his rant as you simply stared at him, unable to look away from the man you loved, the one who doted on you and your wives without a second thought. The same man that loved you supposedly though it seemed he simply tolerated you, seeing how much of a burden you were to him and his wives. He was already so tense from his work, body weighed down by countless responsibilities and guilt-ridden thoughts, the shinobi didn’t need you adding to the fire nipping at his heels.

Quiet as a mouse, you stepped away, curling into yourself in an attempt to get away from the Sound Hashira. “I am sorry to have been such a burden to you, Tengen-sama. It was never my intention to cause you nor your wives so much grief. I-I’ll ensure my things are packed and ready for transport by sundown, so as to not add to your building responsibilities, my lord.”

You slipped past the man before he could utter another word, hurrying inside without abandon and down the hall to your designated craft room. The door was urgently flung open and the moment it was eased closed, and your body was bathed within darkness, emotion heavy sobs threatened to pour from your lips like a waterfall, unable to be contained. Just one slip up had cost you everything: your husband, your wives, your home, your heart. Why could you just not keep your mouth shut?!

Unable to answer the question on the tip of your tongue, you quietly padded over to the closet and slid the door aside, revealing the item you never thought you would need again. The leather of the travel bag was coated in thick dust, testifying how long it had been since you had need of it, it having been three years since you arrived at the Uzui Estate with it in hand. How terrified you had been, so scared to upset your new husband, to do something wrong that would enact his wrath just as it always did your father’s, and you had finally done just that.

Your hands moved without thought, your consciousness elsewhere as you packed only the essentials, not wanting to weigh down your bag too much in case the journey ahead of you was long and arduous. By the time you completed the task at hand, the sun had come to sit in the center of the sky, signifying that it was now noon, which meant you had plenty of time to leave and seek shelter before the sun set.

Taking your travel bag in hand, you stood to your feet and exited the room as quietly as possible, sliding it shut behind issue. No one came across your path as you drifted silently down the estate halls and out the front door, the only sound being the soft chatter emanating from kitchen at the end of the back hallway. Your heart slammed aggressively within its prison as you traveled down the stone path with wet cheeks, never looking back at the life you were leaving behind. All you could do upon slipping out the front gate and onto the main road was that Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru would forgive you for leaving without saying goodbye one last time. Where you were going, you had no idea. However, you did know that you could no longer cause the loves of your life so much anguish, and with that in mind, you began your trek into the unknown with a broken heart and a shattered marriage in tow.

~~~

Love you guys! Comments, reblogs, etc. always appreciated!

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cinemauniverse112 · 5 months

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Now Watching...

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

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whoever-the-heck · 1 year

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You don't understand how sad this made me.

Her surprise at his quick acceptance. I felt the burn in my chest... He didn't even put up a fight. And I get it... Tom though no saint himself suffered throughout this marriage. And even in this conversation, how she wouldn't let him talk, still kinda invalidating his feelings...

I got the feeling throughout this whole sequence that Shiv did not really buy everything she was saying. But Tom had lost what little fight he had left in him so he just accepted it.

#succession #shiv roy #tom wambsgans #shiv x tom #tomshiv #divorce #time had run out... or had it #marriage problems #incapable of love #tom you are horrible but I am with you on this #shiv i root for you most of all but you really have no fucking clue when it came to love

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mandogab · 1 year

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“Have you finally honoured me with your presence?” Fenn asked, crossing his arms. “I have nothing to give you,” he added, looking towards her eyes, hidden behind her helmet. “You've even found someone you can order to fuck you,” he muttered.

Did Fenn become a single father because Bo decided to join a controversial cult? maybe.

And yes. He doesn’t like Din at the beginning. canon.

#bo katan kryze #fenn rau #din djarin #bofenn #atin kryze #grogu #secret marriage #marriage problems #atin and grogu become friends #the mandalorian season 3 #sorry I don't ship bo and din #bofenn forever

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toni-onone · 6 months

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Love Prevails: Saving Your Marriage Against the Odds

Are you listening? No, well that’s a problem.

Everyone is in it when it comes to the wedding day, for the bragging rights, glitz and glamour no problem whatsoever but when some of the worst comes you only hear crickets. You know the for better or worse. Are we truly listening to whose supposed to be the love of your life? Or are you too busy, not interested or don’t really care? 😒😲

In the intricate dance of a marriage, communication is the thread that weaves together the delicate bonds between two individuals. However, the profound impact of not being heard in this sacred partnership cannot be understated. When one's thoughts, desires, and concerns are consistently dismissed or ignored, the foundation of trust begins to erode. The feeling of not being heard engenders feelings of isolation, frustration, and resentment, creating a chasm that grows between spouses. 🧐

Okay so it’s a problem, that can be fixed ; how?🤔

The absence of effective communication breeds a sense of isolation, as thoughts and feelings remain unexpressed, thereby squandering the opportunity for growth and understanding. However, fixing this impact requires a concerted effort from both partners. It necessitates a willingness to foster an environment of active listening, empathy, and open dialogue. By acknowledging and validating each other's perspectives, couples can rebuild the broken lines of communication, rekindling trust and fostering a deeper connection. This process involves cultivating patience, vulnerability, and a commitment to change, allowing both partners to feel seen, heard, and ultimately, valued within the sacred union of marriage.

Save marriage, it’s already a war against the concept of it. Marriage is truly valuable. In these moments of vulnerability, we discover the immense power of love in healing wounds, reigniting passion, and restoring our happiness. Our ability to communicate honestly and compassionately is the lifeline of marriage.💍🤵🏾‍♂️👰🏽‍♀️💒

#loveprevails #savingmarriage #togetherwecan

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dramione-fanfiction · 2 years

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Story by: inadaze22 (on FanFiction.Net) ( @inadaze22 )

Story name: Seven Days In April

Summary:

They were still the same people with the same problems on either side of a bathroom door.

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 1 year

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What's the secret to a good marriage?

I have a lot of opinions here and they're all probably somewhat wrong.

But I'll try.

The secret to a good marriage seems to me to be this: you have to believe that your partner has a secret. (Or else, how would she explain it?) But that doesn't mean that every part of their behavior should be explained away. It means that you need to be open to the idea that things just happen that you don't get, and then you need to be OK with those things going on in private, where they don't impact you.

If you want a happy marriage and you are both honest and open and not controlling of each other, it seems to me that this is how a successful marriage will look like. This is something that I would expect to see in many of my friends' marriages. Some of my friends don't seem to be able to do this in their marriages, which I think is a sign that they are not being open.

I should add that this has nothing to do with sex. The secret here isn't that you can have sex in a healthy way. If sex is unhealthy, you will have bad sex and things will probably get awkward and weird and you will end up breaking up with each other (but you have no reason to believe that if you can't have good sex that you will be able to have good sex in the future!).

(I don't really know how this will apply to straight couples, I'm not very good at dating stuff and have no straight friends at all.)

#marriage problems #the gends #plugs #plugincheri

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blow-a-kiss-make-a-wish · 10 months

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was arguing with my husband until 2 am last night

#i’m fucking exhausted #marriage problems #personal #text post

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justsayun · 1 year

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Pizza Problems

I know all marriages run into rough patches from time to time. It could be something like money problems to differences in how to deal with the children. Heck at one point the wife and I locked horns about this little Hula Dancing Dashboard Doll that I picked up at a yard sale and displayed in our car. Just looking at her bouncing around made me smile. Well, my wife hated it. She was hula dancing for two weeks and then surprisingly I found her in a kitchen drawer. My wife said she was putting her foot down about that little Hula Girl in the grass skirt who loved to dance. To be honest to this day I get a little sad when I watch NCIS Hawaii. Let's be honest we wouldn't appreciate the sunny days as much if we didn't have a few storms once in a while. Well, the wife and I have come upon something that is causing tension in our home. The weird thing is this was something that I thought made our marriage stronger and now it's causing tension between us. I can sum it all up in one word. Pizza! We used to go out as a family and get a couple of pizzas and laugh and share about our day. Now as soon as we go to order I start to get that feeling like when the dentist is getting ready to give ya a novocaine shot. I like cheese and pepperoni and I'm fine. You want a couple of mushrooms on it or some tomatoes, even green peppers. You do what makes you happy. I can live with it. (I'm a pleaser.) The kids have the same attitude about our pizza. But over the past year, my wife's topping & cooking demands for her pizza have gone off the rail. My children even look at me with hopeless expressions as they hear what their mom demands on the pizza. We used to order two pizzas to enjoy as a family. We still order two but only one the three of us enjoy and my wife demands her unusual pizza that no one will touch but her. She'll have two slices and no one will touch the rest. (She'll say to her massive amount of leftover pizza. "Honey, we'll take it home and you can take it to work for lunch tomorrow." ) That's not gonna happen. My dog even sticks her nose up in the air when offered a slice of my wife's pizza. We went out the other night for pizza and as the waitress took our order my wife told her she wanted her pizza well done. The waitress replied; "Oh don't worry we do all our pizzas really well. My wife goes "No I want my pizza well done, as in I want the bottom of it cooked to where it's almost burned. I want a crisp bite on my pizza." The poor waitress was woozy as she left our table. I asked my wife if every time we order pizza now it has to be a production. I just want a simple cheese and pepperoni pizza. I do not want a cauliflower crust. No jalapenos, no goat cheese. Please no sprouts or leafy things on the pizza. Pizza should bring us closer not push us apart. I've always believed pizza is the food of love and togetherness. I've always thought that in the Garden of Eden if Eve would have had the option of a slice of pizza or the apple, she'd have taken the pizza. My wife and I for our first date had pizza. A plain cheese and pepperoni. That's where the magic all started. The other night when we were eating pizza and she had her crazy topping pizza I just looked at her and thought where is my cheese and pepperoni lady love at? I'm hoping this is just a phase. My children won't join me with an intervention because their mom spoils them too much so even though they agree with me they will not do anything to mess up the gravy train they have with their mother. So as of right now I'm being patient praying my lady will eventually regain her pizza sanity. But to help me through this tough time my Hula Dancing Dashboard Doll is going back up in the car.

#pizza #pizza toppings #marriage problems #waitress #pizza order #sunny days #dashboard hula girl #husband and wife issues #weird pizza toppings

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 2 years

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I love your strories . Could you write a steve rogers x civilan reader angst maybe ? Where steve always puts reader in the back burner unintentionally . And after civil war bucky maybe stayed with steve . And as he's stressing about bucky he takes it out on the reader . Angst with fluff maybe . I'm sorry if it's too specific or weird .

AFTERTHOUGHT

Fandom: Marvel, MCU,

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Characters: Steve Rogers, Reader, You, Female

Word Count: 2017 // Rating: Teen & Up

Summary: Steve always does what’s best for Bucky

Tags/ Warnings: My Writing, Afterthought, Requested Fic, Steve’s kind of an ass, Steve and Bucky’s Friendship, Established Relationship, Love, Hugs, Fluff, Angst, PTSD, Trauma, Mentions of Infertility, Pregnancy Tests, Marriage, Marriage Problems, Afterthought, Requests, Careless, Steve, Fighting, Arguing, Rows,

Notes: hope you like it

I frowned as my eyes fell on the little window of the plastic stick and I found the one line staring back at me.

Negative. Again.

I didn’t know why I got my hopes up. Maybe because this was the first month Steve and I had been together. Maybe it was because we had time to try or at least time to try properly. Steve and I had been married for nearly two years and both of us wanted a family. We kind of assumed it would happen naturally…but that was well over a year ago and still no positive test. I tried not to worry. I was busy and Steve was always here there and everywhere. In fact, the last few months had been crazy. But this month hadn’t. This month had almost seemed normal even if we did have an extra house guest/fugitive on our hands. I liked Bucky. And I loved Steve, so having his best friend come stay with us was a no-brainer. That didn’t mean it had been particularly easy. He was nice, he never complained, he was neat and tidy but he was just always…there.

It didn’t help that Steve accommodated for everything. Bucky was having a bad day? It was Steve’s job to make him smile. Bucky was having a nightmare? Steve was out of bed like a shot sometimes even driving him around until he had shaken whatever horror was in his head away. Ironically it was as if we had a child already. And I understood why he acted like that. I just wish he’d widen his focus a little.

As I looked at the test again I could feel tears stinging my eyes but I refused to let myself be sad. Instead, I threw the test in the bin and washed my face hoping my morning routine would help distract me. By the time I got downstairs, Steve was already there cooking breakfast on the stove. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his front. I was almost a foot shorter than him but I didn’t care as my head fit snuggly in between his shoulder blades.

‘Morning,’ he said causing his chest to rattle against my ear. I smiled to myself the pain of this morning disappearing a little.

‘Morning,’ I said pulling back as he started to turn around. He looped his hands around me as I placed mine against his chest smiling as he leaned down to give me a quick kiss.

‘Sleep okay?’ he asked. I smiled and nodded as I replied, ‘you?’

‘Not really,’ he said his smile lessening a little, ‘Buck had a bad night…Tony.’

I nodded knowing not to push the matter further. Steve still felt guilty about everything that had gone down between him, Tony and Bucky. He also felt guilty about all the havoc it had caused between us. I pulled away and went to sit at the table as he went on cooking. I grabbed the morning paper which was something that I had come to like. I used to read all my news on my phone but Steve still like the feel of the morning paper in his hands and soon enough I had come to like it too. I skimmed through it. The headlines today weren’t overly cheerful and I didn’t really feel like reading it in case I put myself in a further bad mood.

Only a minute later Steve placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me and then one in his place. He moved away for a minute pouring us both a cup of coffee and bringing it back to the table. He smiled as he sat down next to me. As soon as the plate hit the table I realised how hungry I was and I was halfway through my bacon making him chuckle.

‘Hungry?’ he asked.

‘Starving,’ I said my mouth half full.

‘I take it I can read the paper then,’ he chuckled reaching out for it. I passed it to him and nodded watching as his gaze flicked over today’s headlines. I smiled watching him read. He looked calm and unworried for once. I sipped my coffee and continued watching him. Though this time he felt my gaze on him. He looked up with his brow furrowed, ‘what?’

‘Nothing,’ I said with a smile.

‘Hmmm,’ he said with a questioning eye which then fell back to the paper, ‘hey babe.’

‘Yeah?’ I said as I continued eating.

‘Why’s today’s date ring a bell?’ he asked.

‘Oh,’ I said, ‘we’ve got an appointment today.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah Doctor Mohan,’ I said waiting for the dots to connect in his mind. He seemed to be thinking about where he’d heard that name before but before he could say anything we heard footsteps thundering down the stairs. Steve’s gaze left mine looking through the kitchen entrance from which he could see the front door. I peered around too just in time to see Bucky yanking the door open and sprinting out.

Steve was up like a light his breakfast and newspaper soon forgotten as he grabbed his coat from where he had left it on the sofa. He turned for a second catching my eye and then he smiled at me sadly.

‘Doll,’ he said but I waved him off knowing it

was fruitless. He nodded and started to head out. As he slipped on his shoes by the door I called, ‘don’t forget Dr Mohan’s office at 2 pm!’

If he heard me or not I wasn’t sure. I slipped back in my chair in a huff. As I stared at my breakfast I realised I suddenly had no appetite. I got up somewhat angrily and scraped both plates into the trash. I threw the coffee cups and the plates into the sink and left them too angry to contemplate household chores. And then I headed upstairs, to start my day.

————————————————————————–

I got home later than usual that night. As I pulled into the driveway I could see Bucky sitting in his chair by the window watching the TV. I sighed as I parked and switched the engine off. I sat there for a moment not wanting to go inside. My heart was aching from today and I knew that what lay behind that door wasn’t going to be anything that helped it.

I stared at the garage door trying to muster the energy to climb out of the car and as I did my phone rang from where it was being kept in its hands-free holder.

STEVE flashed on the screen and I looked at it for a moment watching as the slide to answer button glinted begging for me to touch it. It rang a few times before it went back to my home screen the missed call joining the other notifications making it 6 missed calls in total.

With a sigh, I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and climbed out of the car trudging into the house. Steve was standing in the kitchen, stirring something on the stovetop, and Bucky was still in his chair though they both looked up as I came in. I took off my coat and shoes and put them in their place slinging my bag onto the couch as I walked into the kitchen.

‘Evening,’ Steve said with an edge as I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine.

‘Evening,’ I said as I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured myself a large one.

‘You’re late back,’ he said as I took a seat at the kitchen table.

‘Am I?‘ I said taking a swig.

‘I rang you know,’ he said looking at me, ‘I saved you some dinner.’

‘I know,’ I said.

‘It’s your, wait, you know?’

The pair of us were quiet for a moment watching one another. We only looked up as the recliner chair squeaked shut and Bucky stood watching us from the lounge.

‘Erm, I think I’m going to head upstairs,’ he said. Steve nodded but I said nothing swigging my glass of wine once more. Once we heard Bucky’s door close upstairs Steve turned watching me again.

‘So you’ve been screening my calls?’ he said throwing the tea towel that was over his shoulder down on the counter and coming to sit down opposite me.

‘What would you rather I pretend I wasn’t?’ I said.

‘No,’ he said, ‘but some reason why wouldn’t go a miss.’

‘I was busy,’ I said simply.

‘Busy doing what? Something that makes you two…no three hours late for dinner?’ he said checking his watch. I couldn’t help but snort as he did so which made his jaw set as he looked at me angrily, ‘something I said?’

‘I just think it’s funny you have a problem with me being on time,’ I said. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and fell back against his chair looking at me, as he said, ‘look are you gonna whine about whatever or are you going to tell me what I did because I’m a loss here sweetheart.’

‘You missed our appointment,’ I said simply.

‘What appointment,’ he started but then his confusion switched to realisation, ‘Dr Mohan.’

‘Don’t worry,’ I said getting up and heading to the fridge to replenish my drink, ‘he let me wait 15 minutes before we realised you weren’t coming. Even kept popping out into the waiting room to make sure.’

‘Babe,’ he said standing up but I put my finger up to silence him.

‘Don’t, just don’t,’ I said turning around and placing my hands on the kitchen counter as I tried to hold myself together.

I felt Steve’s strong arms around me pulling me towards him. He spun me around and grabbed my chin tenderly but I pulled from his grasp though I stayed in his arms.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said I looked at him, ‘really I am. It just slipped my mind, Bucky-’

‘Needed you, yeah I know,’ I said pulling away from him.

‘He had a rough night,’ Steve said shortly, turning around so he could watch me.

‘Yeah I know,’ I said.

‘He was up half the night,’ he said, ‘he ran damn near 12 miles this morning trying to distract himself-’

‘I said I know.’

‘So why are you giving me such a hard time-’

‘Because it’s always something. Bucky needs this, Bucky needs that. And you’re there. Where does that leave me, Steve? You’re out there fixing everything I’m in bed alone. Or eating breakfast alone. Or in the doctor’s office for one of the most important appointments of our lives-’

‘We can rebook the damn appointment!’ he shouted.

We fell silent for a moment. I sniffed suddenly feeling a lump in my throat which I tried my best to ignore, ‘you don’t get it, do you? It’s not about the appointment. It’s not about being left alone. I love Bucky. I do…but you didn’t marry him. You married me. And sometimes, sometimes, it just doesn’t feel like that. It feels like I’m an afterthought.’

‘What do you want me to do Y/N? He’s my friend. My best friend,’ Steve said.

‘I know,’ I said walking forward and wrapping my hands around his waist, ‘I know and I know you think everything you do is for the best. You’re trying to help…but I need you to see that it isn’t helping everyone.’

He looked down at me with a sad smile as I pulled back a little kissing my fingertips and placing them on his cheek. His hand covered mine holding it to his face as his eyes closed.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered as his eyes opened and I nodded.

‘I know you are,’ I said slipping out of his grasp. He watched me as I grabbed my glass off of the counter and walked through the lounge grabbing my bag as I went as I reached the stairs I looked through and smiled at him weakly before walking upstairs.

‘Sorry,’ I thought, ‘yeah you always are.’

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