#THIS IS THE BEST JOKE I'VE MADE AND I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF

[wowifinallywatched]

Hoffman's really out here showing us his secret Pa-Strahm-i recipe

#I THOUGHT OF THIS AND I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING #THIS IS THE BEST JOKE I'VE MADE AND I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF #SAW MOVIES I LOVE YOU #Like fuck I really love you and I did not expect this #from randomly watching while organising old boxes to now hyperfixating and binging all the movies #this is the best #i'm in my happy place leave me alone #no please i want a friend to talk about the movies with #like these movies just make me feel so genuinely happy because these movies can be so clever and really catch you off guard and i love that #it's refreshing #saw vi #saw 6 #saw films #saw movies #just saw thoughts #saw memes #just saw things #saw franchise #sawposting #saw

[khristie16]

The Fast and Forbidden

Charles is a famous F1 driver with everything one could want: fame, fortune, and fans. But he is missing one thing. Being his new personal assistant changes everything for both of them.

— chapter 2 An unspoken connection gradually weaves between them—forged through chess, shared glances, and a mysterious musical encounter.

warnings: sweet af, sexual tension, invading privacy (not the intention), sentimental and romantic author's note: hi guuys, i missed you, uni gets the best of me the past couple months. I received some new requests and I have them all saved for future work. Don't worry, now I have more free time:) stay awesome! taglist: @buendiabebeta, @pondysselth, @clomo12345, @naty-1001, @maxv33rstappen, @f1lov3r, @cmleitora

The next day, I found myself 10,000 meters in the sky, going at such a fast speed that I was relieved my stomach didn't protest. Our destination was Charles's home. I'd never been to Monaco, and my curiosity grew as we got closer. What would it be like standing in the middle of a street, taking in all the beautiful scenery with my own eyes? I adore the sea and warm weather, the culture, and the food. I appreciate different things. That's one more reason I took this job — the chance to travel. It can really shake up your whole routine, but the opportunity to see Monaco and Singapore in less than a week was unimaginable just two months ago. Thank goodness this job pays well.

Watching Charles absorbed in his iPhone made me feel unwelcome. It seemed like I could make funny faces, and he wouldn't even notice. It wasn't a new feeling for me. Sometimes, during quiet nights, I wondered why he was so distant, especially when I'd seen him be a sunshine around others. Initially, I thought it was because we were purely business for each other. But that could apply to anyone on the Ferrari team. Maybe I was overthinking it, and the simple reason was that he just didn't like me. I decided to let it go; there were better things to focus on. Tilting my head, I wondered if things might improve over time. Silently grumbling, I readjusted my seat, still lost in thoughts about him.

"Hey, do you play chess?"

I looked at him like he was an alien and gulped nervously. Yes, I had played chess — once. And to top it off, I was still learning the basics. Not something I was proud of, but hey, not everyone can be Ron Weasley. I laughed like a maniac at my own joke, resulting in his raised eyebrows.

"Sorry… and no, I've never learned."

Surprise and interest showed in his body language as he leaned closer, his blue T-shirt moving against his skin. With a surprisingly high-pitched voice, he laughed.

"Really?"

Fire me or spare me, but please, not this. I didn't know where to focus first — on his beautiful dimples or the fact that he just laughed at me? The smile vanished from his face as he seemed to notice my confusion, but he still smiled with his eyes.

"I mean, I'm surprised. It's like when Carlos once told me he listens to jazz in the morning."

I burst into laughter. It sounded so much like Carlos.

"I just thought you played chess. You look so serious."

Okay, this is getting worse. I must have looked like a crazy woman with diagnosed schizophrenia, and he tells me I look serious? Tell that to a woman, and you shut her down completely. Readjusting my seat again, I focus on the rug under the wooden table.

"I can teach you if you want."

Lifting my gaze, I try to find some hidden answers behind his green eyes, but all I feel is a hot sensation in the pit of my stomach. Wearing a white tank top, I know it's not because of the fabric. He's genuinely smiling, and I take a pause to exhale before nodding my head.

"Do you like to play a lot?"

I ask to smooth things between us, but he just nods and focuses back on the chess pieces on the board. Turning my head to the side, I notice that the closer, the less cloudy it is outside, and I feel an energetic shiver run down my spine.

"I always win. But for you, — I'll make an exception."

My heart stops beating. Why is it so hot in here all of a sudden?

After we landed, our shared ride slipped into an uneasy quiet. In the midst of my spontaneous chess lesson with Charles, laughter and focus filled the air, creating a vibrant atmosphere akin to the scattered energy of someone wrestling with ADHD. Amid our animated conversation, I lost track of our surroundings; the outside world turned into a distant blur.

A smile graced Charles's lips as he locked eyes with me. In that shared gaze, a fleeting connection unfolded. Happiness shimmered in his green eyes, and an unexplainable urge to draw closer wrapped around me. It felt as if his eyes held a depth I yearned to explore. However, the moment dissolved abruptly. Charles, with a subtle shift in demeanor, reverted to his usual aloofness, extinguishing the warmth that had briefly ignited between us.

"I got my keys copied for you in case you need something from my apartment," he offered, extending the keys.

An unexpected gesture left me grappling with a mix of surprise and uneasiness. Taking the keys, I delicately stashed them into my bag, careful not to make direct contact with his skin.

"My driver will first go to your place. Tell him the address," Charles instructed. Uncomfortable, I shifted in my seat, seeking distraction by scanning the outside world. Families strolled happily, painting picturesque scenes. A flicker of yearning for such simplicity rose within me—an ache for a love that protects and cherishes.

"YN?" Charles's voice interrupted my reverie, demanding my attention.

"I don't have a home," I stated matter-of-factly, my gaze returning to the outside world. Despite the nonchalant tone, the admission carried a weight that lingered in the air.

"I need to visit some company for renting a flat here."

I took in a deep breath, feeling the cool air settle around me. My eyes drifted down, observing how the white tank top hugged my body like a second skin, accentuating the curves beneath. Fingers idly played with the fabric, a quiet excitement brewing inside. In my mind, thoughts twirled, a hidden longing to peel away the clothing, exposing the vulnerability beneath. And this is what Charles does to me. And it is getting dangerous.

"I know a place," Charles declared. He reached for his phone, dialed a number, and engaged in a focused conversation. His determined expression and the play of his toned arms intrigued me. A heat lingered in the air, intensifying the atmosphere within the car.

"Ciao l'amigo," Charles spoke into the phone.

Charles's words flowed, a steady stream escaping his perfect pink lips. My gaze fixated on his profile, an intense scrutiny fueled by a hunger simmering beneath the surface —an irresistible force tempting me to devour him, a longing I hadn't anticipated when accepting this job.

The struggle intensified, threatening to override the professional boundaries I had naively assumed would be steadfast. As Charles's eyes met mine, a sudden freeze paralyzed me in place. His gaze lingered, delight evident in the subtle nuances of his expression, as if he sought to unveil the secrets hidden in the depths of my eyes. The hum of conversation from his friend acted as a backdrop to this silent exchange, heightening the tension that hung between us. I braced myself in anticipation, uncertain of what he sought to uncover.

Abruptly, his attention shifted, his head turning back to its previous position. A wide smile adorned his face as he concluded the call, the sheer charm of it momentarily rendering me breathless. Even without facing me, he seamlessly transitioned to a task on his phone, leaving me suspended in a state of uncertainty and unspoken intrigue.

"I found you a free apartment. Do not worry about money," he said, his attention now absorbed in his phone, leaving me to deal with the unexpected twist.

Days slipped away, and the looming Grand Prix trip to Japan demanded my attention. I meticulously handled remote tasks for Charles, consciously keeping a distance to avoid the unraveling of my composure under the weight of desire. Knowing Charles would be engrossed in a morning squash match with his brothers, I discreetly seized the opportunity to attend to a domestic task: swapping clean laundry for the soiled.

Entering his apartment, arms loaded with bags, I navigated purposefully down the hallway. A distant melody reached my ears, halting my steps. Recognizing the tune, my thoughts paused, and I followed the enchanting notes to their origin.

In the sunlit living room, a grand piano stood like a silent sentinel. There, orchestrating a melancholic melody, was Charles. Our eyes met as I stood there, and he smiled in response to the unexpected serenade.

"That's 'Sadness and Sorrow,'" I stated the obvious, and Charles observed me cautiously. Surprisingly, I overcame hesitation, moving closer and placing my hand on the piano keys. Each note, played with sincerity, carried a hum of remembrance. Charles shifted, creating space for me to join him. As I sat down, my focus on the piano, he positioned his hands beside mine, and we began to play in harmony.

Eyes closed, I allowed the music to transport me, feeling the warmth of our synchronized notes. The vibrational waves between us painted an imagined scene, where I lay on the sea's surface, gently swaying with the waves.

The room resonated with harmonious echoes, our shared melody creating a tangible connection between Charles and me. Vibrational waves seemed to ripple, as if an unseen force wove a tapestry of connection, binding our notes into a seamless symphony. Amid our synchronized play, the world around us faded, and I found myself transported to a different realm.

In my mind's eye, I lay on a mat, gently drifting atop the surface of a tranquil sea. The sun cast a warm embrace, painting the water with hues of gold and azure. The waves, like delicate fingers, played a tender serenade, cradling my body with rhythmic caresses. I surrendered to the immersive sensation, the music becoming the gentle current that carried us on this shared journey.

With Charles beside me, the connection forged through the shared music was palpable, creating a timeless moment where the ordinary world ceased to exist. It was a serendipitous encounter, a convergence of hearts and melodies, leaving me suspended in the beauty of our shared composition on the sea of music.

A genuine smile adorned my face as we played, stealing glances at Charles. His concentration on the music was profound, but when our gazes met, I detected an ocean of emotions in his eyes. The desire to caress his cheek and offer comfort overwhelmed me.

Our fingers danced on the keys, minds lost in the melody. As Charles and I maintained our gaze, I discerned a myriad of colors in his eyes, each shade revealing a facet of emotion that resonated with the melodic symphony we created. In this suspended moment, his face drew nearer, an invisible force pulling us together until we were so close that our breaths mingled, and the air became a shared essence.

The piano keys, now a conduit for our unspoken connection, echoed the final cadence of the song. With a delicate touch, my right arm, closer to him, found a resting place on my thigh, bridging the physical space between us. As the final chords resonated, the room held its breath, encapsulating the unspoken intensity of our shared musical communion. And Charles, hesitating only briefly, mirrored the gesture, his eyes lingering on my lips.

"You're the boat I would protect in my full stormy ocean," he spoke, and the sweet sentiment ignited warmth within. In that moment, nothing else existed but him and his words, a connection forged through music and unspoken understanding.

#charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you

[tinytinyblogs]

Skz Soft Hours: Seungmin

He is deeply in love with you and his only wish is to spend the rest of his life with you.

Stray kids masterlist here

Seungmin's voice danced on your ears as he said, "I love you so much, you know that, right?" His voice was like silk, the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. It made your heart race every time. "I will always love you, Y/N," he continued, his voice filled with emotion. It was clear that he had thought long and hard about what he wanted to say. Seungmin wasn't the type of person to be overly vocal about his feelings, but his actions spoke louder than words. He always went out of his way to make you happy, and he was always there for you when you needed him. He was filled with worries, deep in his heart. He wanted to share them with you, the only person in the world he felt comfortable with and believed in.

"Sometimes I wonder if I make you happy enough," he said, his voice trailing off. "I want to be the one you always need in your life, but I'm not perfect." He paused, fiddling with your fingers as he tried to find the right words. Seungmin is so proud to have you in his life. He feels like he has found a precious gem, and he can't even explain how happy he is every day. "I've never said this before, but I'm so happy to have you in my life, Y/N," he says. The moment he laid his eyes on you, the world stopped. He didn't even care about the rain falling around him, even though he should have been running to avoid it. He doesn't want to be overdramatic, but you make him feel things he never knew he could feel. He never thought it possible for his heart to melt the way it does when he's with you.

"I can't imagine my life without you," he continues. "You're the main reason I keep going and keep being happy." You make him fall harder for you every day, and he doesn't know what else to say. You're just too perfect for him. You showed him the world through your eyes, and it was beautiful. He used to think he was better off alone, wandering aimlessly without direction. But you showed him the way, a path of flowers that he now walks with you by his side. You turned his darkness into sunshine, pulled him out of the depths of despair, and loved him unconditionally.

"Sometimes I feel so insecure," he says. "I think I'm not good enough for someone like you. I want to be the best for you. And I'm so mad at myself for not telling you how much I love you, when you deserve so much more." Seungmin is not good at romance. He can't even express his own feelings, so when you're around, he feels lost. "Even when I don't understand myself, you always do. You love me unconditionally, and you accept me for who I am, flaws and all. I love you so much for that." He's learning about romance little by little, like he's studying for an exam. He's trying to learn everything about you: what you love, hate, and want.

He's even trying to like the things you like, even if they're not his cup of tea, just so he can have conversations with you and keep you interested. He panics when he sees you cry, and he'll try to make jokes, even if they're not funny. But when you laugh, he feels relieved. He told his mom that he met someone perfect for him, and he bragged about you to his whole family. He told them that having you in his life makes him happier than anything else. "I've been thinking a lot about the future lately," Seungmin said, catching himself staring at you again.

He had always loved watching you, but lately, it had been different. He loved the way you were around him, breathing the same air, sharing the same space, doing the things you both loved. It made him wonder what it would be like if you were in his future, growing old with him. "And seeing you smile so beautifully every day, hearing you talk, feeling your warmth... it made me realize." If Seungmin could hold your hand through everything life throws his way, he would never be afraid of the future. You make him stronger than he ever thought possible.

He says, "I want you. I want us to be together until the end of time." He smiles as he says these sweet words, and the thought of you two having the happy ending you both dream of makes his heart soar. He prays for you every day, because you are his whole world. He never wants to lose you, because losing you would be like losing the game of life. Seungmin is building a castle for you and him, a place where you can be safe from anything in the world that doesn't deserve you. He would do anything for you.

"Have you thought about that?" he asks, placing a kiss on your soft lips. His words are sincere, coming from the depths of his heart. He is asking you to be a part of his life officially. "Don't you feel the same way?" Nothing in the world mattered more to Seungmin than you. He couldn't stop thinking about you. You were one of a kind, and he wanted you more and more each day. His eyes filled with tears as he spoke to you in a soft monologue that you never expected to hear. "If you feel the same way," he said, "I promise to make you the happiest person in the world."

Just as Seungmin is the one you've always wished for, you feel just as lucky to have him in your life. His care, love, words, and touch color your world in ways he never imagined. In his arms, you feel safe, warm, and happy. He gives you the kind of happiness that you deserve, and that no one else can give you. "If you feel the same way, let's build our family together," he says. "Let's get married and grow old together." There is no other answer you can give, no other choice you would make. Living with him forever is the best thing that could ever happen to you.

💬I'm just sweating through my eyes, okay?

#kpop #kpop au #stray kids seungmin #stray kids felix #stray kids jeongin #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids lee know #stray kids han #stray kids changbin #stray kids bang chan #stray kids au #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids masterlist #stray kids reaction #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz changbin #skz chan #skz lee know #skz hyunjin #skz jeongin #skz han #skz seungmin #skz felix #kim seungmim #seungmin #skz scenarios

[emeraldgreenbeautiesstu]

MATT X READER PLS.

Then book shopping n it’s all cute n stuff 😻😻‼️

Bernard's & Noble

(see what i did there)

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Word count: 749

Alexis speaks! : hey guys! thank you for the request (the more requests, the more stories i post 😉) i'm honestly not very proud of this one, but i've deleted it four times already and this is the best i got 💀 once again, comments and likes are greatly appreciated, it helps me know if yall like my style or if i need to change anything! pls don't steal my work, love yall!

-

"Matttt?" i whined from my spot on the floor. i was bored out of my fucking mind. Matt wanted the day to be a 'lazy day' and by that he means he wanted to scroll social media and youtube all day. that was not my idea of fun, i've always been a hands on person whether that be going outside for hours, to the lake, reading, anything other than being lazy at home.

"whattttt?" he mocked, sitting up from his bed, his hair all messed up and funny looking.

i chuckled. "your hair looks great." i smiled, climbing to straddle his lap and fix his bed head. "better" i smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "i have a business proposal."

matt sighed, "what do you want." he rolled his eyes with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

i hopped off him, standing at the foot of his bed. "i vote we go to barnes and noble today, my book case is baren." i joked. four out of the five of my bookshelves were full completely. but you can never have too many books.

"y/n you have more books than i think i've ever seen anywhere else in my life." he laughed. matt pretended to be annoyed, but he knows the answer is yes. and not just to this scenario, the answer is always yes to everything y/n wants. she had him wrapped around her tiny little finger. "when do you want to go?" he gave in.

i jumped around the room a couple times, silently celebrated with myself. "right now silly." i said. i trotted into his bathroom where i have my own drawer of toiletries and such. i touched up my makeup and threw on my shoes. "ok i'm ready." i beamed up at him. matt basically towered over me. he's 5'8 and i'm 5'3, so there's a pretty noticeable height difference.

he slipped his own shoes on. "i'm ready." he smiled, grabbing his keys.

i just looked at him. "matt babe." i looked at his outfit. "we are not going anywhere when you are wearing basketball shorts and a wife beater. please change." i said, false seriousness evident on my features.

-

"oh my god i'm literally gonna shit my pants i love barnes and noble." i said, climbing out of the passenger seat. I made matt carry my three tote bags i have designated for my favorite hobby, book shopping.

"do i really have to come in." matt complained.

-

we had been at barnes and noble for an hour already, two out of the three of my tote bags were full. so full we had to put them by checkout because they were too heavy to carry. About 15 minutes in i had made a joke that i thought was hilarious, matt didn't really think so.

-

"haha, bernard's and noble." i chuckled to myself, but matt heard me.

"y/n i swear to god i will leave you here."

"deal."

-

i was finally ready to go, the final tote bag full. i couldn't find matt though. i wandered through the multiple sections of books, matt no where in sight. "maybe he did leave me here." i mumbled under my breath. until my eye caught matt. he was crouched down, one hand on the shelf, the other hand occupied with a book.

"whatchya readin?" i smiled over him. my heart melted when he looked up at me, a small smile on his face. i took this time to take in his beauty. the way his slight curls fell over his eyebrows, the way his middle part accentuated his face shape, the way his blue eyes went so well with his outfit. he was wearing the white shirt with 'whatever' in bold print written across it, and baggy light wash blue jeans, his keys dangling from his belt loop.

"some poetry book, i might get it it's kinda fire." he smiled.

"you read poetry?"

"i like finding the good ones and printing them out, i like to look back on the really influential ones." matt said. he stood up and took my bag, his hand resting on the small of my back.

"matt i don't deserve you, you're so sweet." a cheesy grin creeping onto my lips.

"y/n you deserve the world." he smiled down at me, kissing my forehead.

"ok now how are we gonna get all of these in the car?" i laughed.

-

tag list!

@cupidzsq

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #books and reading #book shop #shopping #barnes and noble

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

beef with wasps

f!singer x andrei svechnikov

warnings: mentions of anaphylactic shock/severe allergic reactions, swearing, light joking of near death (to be clear: nobody dies in this), some fluff

liked by gracieabrams, rolemodel and 836,217 others

ynofficial: on behalf of y/n - she is conscious, well and in great hands. she told me to spare the details on what happened, but does want you guys to know that after suffering a wasp sting earlier this afternoon, she was rushed to the ER after going into anaphylactic shock. she gave us all quite a scare and will be in overnight for observations, but doctors are positive she'll make a full recovery

S x

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gracieabrams: thinking of you and wishing you the best recovery! <3

fan1: who tf is s?

fan2: that must have been terrifying, so glad she's ok now

fan3: sending love

reneerapp: ❤️❤️

comments for this post have been restricted

liked by olivia_dejonge, haleyluhoo and 921,375 others

ynofficial: they gave me so much fucking adrenalin i have a rocket up my arse rn and he's just gone to the vending machine bc im so hungry so im taking this opportunity to tell you guys that i almost died today but im ok and the reason theres no selfie is bc i look like a pickled dick rn and as charles boyle once said life is a party and im the pinata xxxxx and he did get me flowers without me even asking so im vv in love rn

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fan4: sorry you almost died?????

fan5: babe what did you think anaphylactic shock was

fan6: does the adrenalin also increase the meme usage

fan7: so she almost dies AND reveals she might be in a relationship??? my heart is breaking twice tonight

fan8: ok but the flowers???? she's got a real one there

fan9: i mean i'd like to think if you almost died your partner would get you flowers...

fan10: lmao you'd think so wouldn't you

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, madisonbaileybabe and 926,174 others

ynofficial: back home! i'm now on house arrest because "there aren't any wasps inside" (we have beef with their butts now). needless to say, it was scary for everyone, but as you can see, miley (the cat) is the only one unbothered. i'm currently typing this from under a human giant and i'm loving every second.

i'd also like to take the opportunity to apologise for my loopy instagram posting and let everyone who purchased tickets for the phoenix show know that they will be refunded. again, i'm incredibly sorry for any inconvenience!

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fan11: and you expect me to believe that human giant in the photo is NOT svech???

fan12: he also likes cats

fan13: and in her other post, it was signed off with 's'

fan14: girl don't apologise

fan15: is he ok?

ynofficial: bit teary but we're recovering!

fan16: NO SVECH DON'T CRY EVERYTHING IS OKAY

andrei_svechnikov37: ynofficial you almost died i'm not letting you go that easily

fan17: SVECH HELLO

liked by ynofficial, devonleecarlson and 57,931 others

andrei_svechnikov37: the family emergency has made a full recovery! (thank fuck) i also wanted to come on here and say that i'm unbelievably proud of this girl, and hilariously in love with her

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fan18: crying happy tears this is adorable

fan19: SVECH STOP RUINING MY STANDARDS

fan20: i love how she's wearing red in the last two pictures

ynofficial: shh he hasn't caught on yet

fan21: i've only had y/n and andrei for a day (officially), but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

fan22: am i the only one who wants to know how long they've been dating?

fan23: no!! i do too

ynofficial: you're making me blush

liked by andrei_svechnikov37

fan24: y/n is so precious and idk who andrei is but i love him just for this caption

fan25: svech is definitely a cuddler

liked by ynofficial

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, sydney_sweeney and 1,028,285 others

ynofficial: i can't find the right words to express how happy and grateful i am to have you in my life, so i'm just going to settle with i love you so fucking much that sometimes i can't breathe because of it, okay?

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fan26: is andrei the inspiration behind out of my misery?

ynofficial: yes

fan27: you guys make me sick in a good way

fan28: wow you've got taste y/n

andrei_svechnikov37: saying you can't breathe is a bit too soon

ynofficial: LMAO I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

andrei_svechnikov37: i love the love though

fan29: y/n i can't-

fan30: how long have you guys been together?

ynofficial: one and a half years!

fan31: y/n not being overly mushy on instagram and casually announcing she's dating an nhl player is my favourite part of this year so far

#andrei svechnikov x reader #nhl social media au #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for insulting my best friend, and attacking her boyfriend? I (21 X) was best friends T (21 F). We met in high school and I really clicked with her, and we've been living together since we were both eighteen. Anyway. We do volunteer work together. It's mostly stuff like cleaning trash, distrubting food to the homeless, etc. Not super glamarous. During one of our projects, T met and started dating this new guy, A (24 M). I cannot stand A. He's really unpleasant towards me, and i feel like he's taking advantage of T. He's makes unfunny 'jokes' about my mental health. This was annoying, but w/e.

However over the last month he's been constantly disrespecting our volunteer work, and really laying into me. I've been arrested before for shoplifting, and A hangs it above my head. He often makes comments about i'm a bad influence on her, and that i'll get her arrested by proxy. [Sometimes we do kinda illegal things. But its strictly relegated to stuff like removing bars from benches and shit. Not hurting anyone] Recently T has started to become distant from me, and i think she believes what he's been saying. She's stopped volunteering with me, and barely lives in our shared apartment, staying around exclusivley with her boyfriend.

Anyway this came to ahead when A and T actually came to the apartment to grab somethings. I tried at first to ask T what was up, and why she was acting like that to me. Why she quit volunteering. She kept dodging the question. So i lost my temper and started yelling at her, about how she was a shitty friend and completely ghosted me over A, who was a complete dick. Mind you this has been going on for a month. A then decided i was being too aggresive [i was yelling at most. Both of them are at least a foot taller than me, and i am maybe 100 lbs. I was not a threat] and he tried to restrain me. This set me off, so i defended myself. Again, i did not have the phyical advantage, and was panicking really badly, so i started doing shit like biting him to get free [i'm not proud of that].

we eventually broke apart. T got A to agree to not press charges, but she layed into me about how i was a shitty person, and that A had made her realise how toxic i was. that i used good causes to justify continuing to break the law for fun, and that i probably had a personality disorder. she said she didn't hate me, but she'd only mend things if i changed. Then she left with A. its been a week and we havent talked

i kinda feel like i could be ta, due to the assault, but also being invasive towards T. i do have issues when it comes to paranoia, and there is a chance it was normal levels of people changing, and i just overblew it and turned it into the mess. but on the other hand, i still feel justified due to how A started things first, and T, despite being such a long term friend, completely ignored me and backstabbed me. So aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[koolades-world]

Hey! I'm sorry if your (inbox, is it called?" Is closed, I just read your little story on how the brothers would react to an MC with a British accent.I was wondering if you could do a reaction to a Puerto Rican MC? Again, I'm sorry if your inbox is closed.

OMG HI inbox is open no worries!

so excited for this!! had to do a double take at first. I'm actually half puerto rican half indian! weird combo i know BUT I absolutely love this request! sometimes it's hard for me to be positive about my background and who I am. usually any mention of my race or ethnicity feels like a knife to the back, but I'm so excited for my chance to be happy about who I am

I know it just came in but as soon as I saw this I knew I had to write it right away! this is something that has every puerto rican gene in my body infused into it and despite being so short, it probably has some of the most love i've probably ever put into a piece of writing

thank you :))) please enjoy

Puerto Rican Mc

Lucifer

at first, it doesn't mean a lot to him since you're not that close yet

but later on, he begins to understand why you're so proud of your background

he totally understands being loud and proud about who you are and not being afraid to shy away from others about it

any demon who comments on this negatively vanishes mysteriously

Mammon

bonding over being poc and being able to share the struggle with each other

you understand each other and he knows what it feel like to look around and realize you're the only poc in the room. you're not alone with him by your side

lots of sweet moments and tears shared together and an inseparable bond

at the end of the day, you have each other <3

Levi

once you get close, he introduces you to all of his favorite puerto rican characters

admires how protective and loyal you are of those you're close to

values you so dearly

he doesn't regret opening up to you because it was the best choice he ever made

Satan

he begins to collect books he'd think you'd like written by puerto rican authors or have puerto rican characters because he knows how excited you'll get

he goes out of his way to introduce you to his favorite puerto rican adjacent restaurant in the devildom

takes you on plenty of trips to the human world to experience home again if you need it or just to eat good food

could listen to you talk for hours about why being puerto rican is great

Asmo

think the fact that you speak spanish (or some) is so hot (a/n: I myself speak very little haha)

immediately asks you to teach him some and to say something that sounds sexy even if it's not actually

gifts you all sorts of things that either have the puerto rican flag or have the same colors as the puerto rican flag, like clothes or little trinkets

acts as your personal cheerleader whenever you need it

Beel

loves the culinary journey you take him on through your culture

he especially loves coquito and limber (a/n: my personal favs)

asks you to teach him how to make several puerto rican dishes that practically makes your heart explode with joy

he knows food is always a huge part of the culture and in honored you showed him all the ins and outs

Belphie

likes to poke fun at you from time to time to see how defensive you'll get

you poke fun at him right back with lots of cow jokes

you two playfight a lot, usually with you being victorious maybe because he let you

however, there's always room for you under his covers where ever he might be

#obey me #obey me! #obey me satan #obey me x reader #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me levi #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me belphie #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me mc

[animentality]

Thoughts on this post?:

https://www.tumblr.com/animentality/64152073250/abc-newsman-proves-danger-of-allowing-transgender?source=share

thanks for reminding me to delete that post I made in literally 2013 when I was 15 because it doesn't reflect who I am as a person anymore.

is this supposed to be a gotcha?

are people supposed to be born woke?

I am amazed you managed to even find this post with like 6 notes, where I legitimately asked people for their opinion on the subject because I was unsure about it and I had certain taught biases that I hadn't learned to abandon yet.

it might amaze you to know that I once told a guy he'd make a great wife when he mentioned he liked cooking.

this was in 2012.

how cisheteronormative of me, right?

but you were all so woke in 2012, weren't you?

you never said anything that was not PC as a teenager.

you never told edgy jokes or said stupid offensive things.

you were born perfect, I'm sure.

it's not like I'm proud of the dumb stuff I said.

but I didn't start identifying as nonbinary until I was 18, and I didn't start identifying as trans until I was 21.

I was raised by an older mother, not a gen x er or a millennial, but a baby boomer, whose inherent biases still sometimes surface in me when I least expect it.

I was raised Catholic.

I had JUST STARTED PUBLIC SCHOOL, after spending literally 6 years in a fucking Catholic school.

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND transgender issues, nor did most people in 20 fucking 13.

how the fuck could I

my mom to this day doesn't know what the fuck nonbinary or trans are, and I identify as both.

how was I supposed to know?

I'd never even met anyone in the LGBT community at that point, nor had I realized I belonged there either.

I literally didn't even know I was pan at that point, or that I was nb/trans myself, or how I felt about most political topics.

that's why I ASKED.

and I said the wrong things. yeah, I did.

but no one had taught me the right words.

and in that post, no one bothered to explain it to me either.

I had to learn that over time.

and guess what?

I'm still not perfect now. I'm still going to make mistakes because times change, as they always do.

and all we can do is try and forgive people who are trying and doing their best, and remaining open minded to things they don't understand right from fucking birth.

but by all means, do search my history to your hearts content.

honestly, I kinda wanna see what dirt you find because this was an interesting look at the kinds of things I thought in 2013.

I can look back at myself and see how far I've come.

this post was interesting to read for me because it was wildly off mark, it misgendered trans women, and it lacked political, historical, and social understanding...

and so?

yeah?

it's offensive. it's bad.

and I didn't know any better.

but lol.

people learn things. people change their opinions.

if you people spend all your time digging up dirt and trying to cancel people for who they were, rather than who they are, or who they're trying to be... I have news for you.

your existence is pointless and your efforts are meaningless.

but I am flattered you did such a deep dive, anon.

please do find more and send them to me.

I'd like to know what other gotchas you can yank out of my ass.

I used to be on Facebook in 2011 before I deleted it in like 2013.

see if you can find anything there.

I used to write cringy poetry. it might be funny to read now.

[applegameisprollytaken]

I have been putting off writing this for too long.

But, due to recent events... Might as well.

My mental health is in the shit. For the past few years, shit kept happening, and I pretended I was fine.

I got Tumblr less than a year ago, and planned to just post funny shit and get my dopamine hits by the few people nice enough to reblog my bullshit.

That kinda happened. But shit just got worse. Depression is a hell of a thing. So I got more dependent on what I already knew worked, but at this point, I just want to die. I always feel like a fuck-up that ruins everything I touch. But, you know what? I'm trying. But I want people to KNOW I'm trying. To know how hard I'm trying to keep it together. To know how hard it is to not let this affect everything else.

But, honestly, I just need someone to notice me. The things I made. Not my stolen jokes, not my glorified conversations. I want people to see what I spend so long on, and what I am so proud of.

I want people to see me for what I am, and what I'm trying to be.

I have tried therapy. I have tried everything you can think of.

None of it works.

I keep trying.

But none of this means I will stop. Wanna know why?

Because I know that there is always something trying to cause my downfall, and I'm spite fucking incarnate.

depression getting me to want to kill myself? its gonna have to shut down my liver like a REAL illness, because fuck you.

Anxiety got me thinking everyone is against me? I'LL JUST BE BETTER THAN THEM! Can't judge someone for being objectively better!

ADHD got me feeling like I can't do anything I usually love? Well, fuck you, I'm gonna do it anyways.

Life trying to throw another spanner in the works? I'm gonna keep on chugging, just to prove a FUCKIN POINT.

I AM SPITE INCARNATE. FUCK YOU ALL, IM GOING TO KEEP GOING.

GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN READY FOR IT, FUCKFACE.

#rant post #this is a major vent #vent tag #major vent #vent #rant #spite #depression #adhd #anxiety #FUCK YOU ALL #im gonna keep going #no matter how hard you hit me.

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 20 -> CH 21

Tagging:@roryculkinluvr@thatsthewrongwallcraig@icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06@shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver@ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999 @x-prettyboy-x @rorylover71 @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27

Jack had made progress, real progress that he was happy to report to Dr. Carty. He had attended one of the meetings Y/n suggested and as corny as it sounded, he felt less alone in the struggles of his past that he had a hard time remembering. He received some legitimate guidance on searching for answers through old media. The man that ran the survivors group had a similar story to Jack's only he was lost in the foster care system and passed around between pedophiles collecting state checks.

He explained to Jack that media searches aren't the best way to access your past trauma. He suggested petitioning to have the court records opened for his own mental health. It meant getting a lawyer or an advocate but if Jack really wanted to pick at the scab of his trauma, he had the best place to start.

"I felt like a fucking idiot when I started crying. Shit just got super overwhelming really fast but they didn't really press me to keep talking which was great. Gave me time to collect myself and actually hear other people talking about their own shit." Jack explained.

"How did it make you feel having a small group of strangers telling you their stories?" Dr. Carty asked.

"Honestly, it was sad. This shit happens too often. There needs to be a better system in place, a better reporting center. I actually talked to some of the people in the group afterwards, exchanged some emails..." He trailed off knowing Dr. Carty would make a comment.

"You made friends!" He said gleefully making Jack roll his eyes.

"You say that like I'm a total shut in." Jack argued earning a laugh.

"As your doctor, I can confirm you just now started going out to get your groceries instead of having them delivered." Dr. Carty joked as Jack pulled into the driveway.

"I'm proud of Jack. You're making such amazing progress in your healing. The crying is a release. Don't fight it so much." Jack nodded his head.

"Well I made it home in one piece and I've got to send Y/n a text thanking her for the recommendation." Jack turned the car off and started to gather his things.

"She's provided a lot of healing for you Jack. You should keep her around. You need that positive push." Dr. Carty said confidently. Jack didn't disagree. Before he could respond, her name lit up on his phone.

"She's actually calling me now so-"

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night Jack." Dr. Carty bid him farewell and he clicked over the call.

"I was just thinking about you." Jack said with a smile.

"Oh yeah? With or without clothes?" She teased.

"Well now I'm thinking about you without clothes but that's your own fault." He laughed.

"I wanted to call and check on you but I also wanted to let you know I might have left you some stuff inside your house." Jack froze on his porch.

"You broke into my house?" He asked looking over to her house.

"Of course not...I used the key." She said firmly. Jack opened the front door carefully and could smell food.

"You broke in to make me dinner?" He laughed.

"Again, I used the key. I didn't cook it. I had it ordered. I figured today would be draining so I wanted you to come home and not worry about feeding yourself." Y/n explained as he walked over to see brown bag sitting atop the counter. He opened and it smelled heavenly.

"It should still be warm but you can heat it up in the package if it needs to be." Jack pulled the box of spaghetti out and took a bit of the bread.

"You can break into my house anytime." He said with a mouthful of food. She laughed on the other end of the line.

"That's not all...I also left you something to keep you company tonight on your bed." Jack stopped eating and climbed the stairs.

"This feels like Christmas." He joked. When he got to the top of the steps he saw Ace sitting on his bed.

"Oh hey buddy! You came to visit me." Jack's voice changed to baby talk for the pup as he leaned down to snuggle him.

"I figured you could use the company and he's been missing you." Jack almost forgot he was on the phone and he picked Ace up in his arms.

"You know one of these nights, I won't be on the backend of an emotional breakdown and I'm going to ask you out on a date. You better be prepared with a better excuse to not say yes than trauma bonding." Jack said with a smile. She chuckled.

"I've got to get back to work but I'll give you a call later okay? Just to make sure you're settled in and don't need anything." Jack hung up the phone and took Ace down stairs with him to eat dinner. He spent his evening making a grocery list, feeding Ace and turning on the TV for a change. He left Ace to watch the TV while he showered and it was around 11PM when he was finally snuggling down with the pup.

He was started to get comfortable and when his phone vibrated. He smiled seeing Y/n was facetiming him. She was still in her scrubs but looked like she was in the bathroom about to clean herself up for bed.

"Well aren't you two the cutest thing I've ever seen?" She smiled seeing Ace sleeping on Jack's chest.

"Don't be jealous he loves me more than you." She chuckled.

"I won't keep you up, just wanted to make sure you were okay." She kept her eyes on them and Jack smiled.

"Today was a lot but it felt good. I definitely needed it. Thank you for the recommendation." Jack watched her take her hair down and wipe her face with a makeup wipe.

"Of course. I'm so happy that it was able to give you some support." She said as Jack watched her carefully.

"Was the food okay?" She asked not looking at him as she continued to get ready for bed.

"How long do I have to wait before I ask you out again?" He ignored her question and she looked at her phone, stopping what she was doing and smiled at him.

"Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up and feel good, you can ask me then. I just want you to wait until you're ready and when you are, I will say yes." She explained making him smile.

"I'll hold you to that." He said with a sleepy smile.

"Get some rest Jack. I will talk to you tomorrow." She said seeing how tired he was. He nodded his head.

"Goodnight Y/n." The screen went black and he let out a sigh. He had never felt so content in this moment. For the first time in a long time, he was hopeful for what was to come.

#Jack Goes Home #Jack Thurlow #Jack Thurlow x Y/n #Glass Houses #Glass Houses Series #One Shot Series #Rory Culkin #Culkin Cult #20/38

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

Road Trip with Rhys and Finn Darby

At 49, New Zealand comedian Rhys Darby says he's finally found the confidence to be a leading man.

He joins Summer Times for a road trip with his son Finn.

The Route? Auckland to Nelson. The passengers? Marcel Marceau and Marcel Duchamp. The vehicle? A 1984 Land Rover.

Music comes courtesy of Finn’s indie-folk-rock band Great Big Cow.

Rhys Darby filming the TV show Our Flag Means Death at Bethells Beach (Te Henga) Photo: Samba Schutte

(click below to listen the audio)

Now based in Los Angeles, Rhys has fond memories of childhood roadies with his mum.

“We went from Pakuranga to Orewa which was lovely. We stayed in a camping ground, and I fondly remember that one because I saw a ghost and saw some big footprints on the beach.

“Bigfoot…turns out was just a big man's foot I think, but you know, when you're young.”

Last year, Darby returned home to Aotearoa to film the second season of the HBO Max series Our Flag Means Death*.

“We were in New Zealand during the rainy season, which could be any time really, last year making that.

“And it was really special because we got to be home. The first year, the first season, we were here in Los Angeles. I was 15 minutes from my house. And that was cool and then the whole show got moved to New Zealand, which was … it's a plus and minus on my account because obviously, I'll leave these guys, but I get to go to the old home.

“And it was really fantastic. Working with the New Zealand crew and just having more New Zealanders in the cast, as well. It's very Aotearoa-heavy season two. So yeah, I'm really proud of it.”

New Zealand comedian Rhys Darby hosting the 2023 International Emmy Awards Photo: chaoticmulaney

In something of a career pivot, Darby also hosted the International Emmy Awards last November.

“It was amazing because I thought 'It's not my bag. I'm not a host, I'm not a jokes guy. And I also don't kind of like rib people, my humour is very optimistic and fun. It's not like the kind of thing Ricky Gervais does where you bring people down to make light of things.

“So when they asked me I was like 'I don't know, what I'm gonna do?' I was picked because it's international and because I can do physical comedy as well. So, I wrote this monologue and also involved a lot of funny walks and some physical stuff. They worked out really well and I had so much praise from the audience and from the producers saying that was one of the best hosts have ever had.

“Because with a strict English-speaking person who's just doing quick gags, half the audience, it just goes over the head. So, what I offered was something that I guess they had more universal appeal.”

Darby currently has a number of films in the pipeline in which he takes a leading role.

“Thanks to Our Flag Means Death I've kind of proven to myself, and hopefully the world, that I can front something.

“So I want to do more like that. I want to do movies, I want to star in a film. I'm writing a screenplay this year. And I'm also involved in about three movie projects that are likely to come together this year, and which have me leading them.

“I've been a character actor for so long, and I've popped up in many, many things in small parts here and there, where I've made everyone laugh, and then I run away.

“But it's taking that next step of going, OK, imagine watching me for an hour and a half, letting me lead you down this track and have the confidence that now finally, at the ripe old age of 49, I think I can do that.”

*Max has announced that it will not be making a third season of Our Flag Means Death

Songs played:

'Iguana Love' by Great Big Cow

'Captain Boyfriend' by Great Big Cow

'The Last Song' by Great Big Cow

Source: RNZ

#rhys darby #finn darby #our flag means death #ofmd #great big cows

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Heya, I don't plan to talk about it much but due to what happened with forever, who was my fav and really the heart of the project for me, I'm probably not going to post about Qsmp much anymore. Or if I do, it'll take a while. But please read if you're in the same boat as me, its kind of a ramble and you can skip certain parts but I'd like to hear your thoughts. The last couple of paragraphs touch on some stuff that I hope can help be worth your while, whether you're here for the Qsmp stuff or the mental health part.

Now this is absolutely not to say the rest of the project doesn't matter or that people should give up on it. The Qsmp is incredible and should be known for what it has achieved: breaking language barriers and uniting communities. Its wonderful, unique, and still has so much to offer in terms of content creation, so please don't let the whole of it be tarnished for what happened with one creator (we've seen that before already and it sucks). Personally, it got me back into streaming content/mcyt and I'd like to stay more present this time, its so much fun and its nice knowing I can sort of drift back and forth when new things pop up. If you're in the same boat, I encourage you to not feel like its all over immediately if you still feel a passion for this kind of work, maybe you won't get back into it but maybe you just need a bit of time. Whatever you feel, as long as you're happy and having fun you're doing it right.

So, personal feelings (which I suck at but its better than bottling my thoughts and I encourage others to do the same). I'm fucking devastated lmao. His character was my absolute hyperfixation, I'm talking 24/7 brainrot for months. I haven't felt this passionate for a character since dsmp, I honestly didn't know I could still do it. But there's another layer. I live in the U.S., and I'm Brasilian-American. In the U.S., you don't hear anyone saying shit about Brasil. You hear a lot about Mexico, but nothing really south of that, and if you do its usually about sexualizing Brasilian women or narcotics and gang stuff. Not the best representation for little me, admittedly. When you-know-who won the Qsmp Election, y'all I felt something in me spark to life that I hadn't felt since we won the Olympic soccer tournament in Rio in 2016. I'm proud to be Brasilian, I've always been proud of it, but its a pride that's been limited to sports and my own personal experiences. To see myself represented, to see Brasil naturally enter the conversation for a piece of media I loved that I didn't know would have us, and to see us win something, phew, shit got me higher than my wisdom tooth removal. We Brasilians banded together to secure the win, and what's more, my fav cc on the project was the one at the center. I felt so happy, for my country, my community, and for myself. And I know recent events might taint that memory for some of us, but I refuse to look back on my feelings from back then negatively. That was one of the best damn moments in my chronically online life, and I will always remember it with pride and joy, along with the many other moments when this wonderful server made me proud to be me.

So, naturally, when the news hit I was pretty fucked up over it. Still am tbh, but better now that I've had sleep (though it took me a while to fall asleep because of course my sleep gets ruined by bad feelings, bleh). All this to ultimately say it sucks. Like, it really fucking sucks. The anxiety, the disappointment, the sadness, and the uncertainty of "what now?". Might be sounding dramatic but again, 24/7 brainrot/serotonin supply for months that connected me to my culture abruptly cut off because of pedophile allegations. C'mon Satan, I already have to go to therapy, you didn't have to kick this horse while it was down. Joking aside, if you feel as absolute dogshit as I do and have that kind of anxiety where the world feels like its about to end because moments like these leave you with the rug pulled out from under you and the uncertainty leaves you not knowing what to do with your life after this... well, welcome to the boat, bathroom's on the lower deck and snacks are in the lobby. And also I'm here, and everyone else who's been left in the same crummy place emotionally. We're here together, and I hope that can help you, cause I know for me the worst part is feeling alone in it all, but I'm not, and neither are you. We're here, holding hands and cursing existence for putting us here and making us so sensitive and giving us something great only for it to end up hurting us. We're here, and if you wanna say anything, my DMs, comments, asks, whatever you'd want to talk through, are all open.

Now comes the hardest part: acknowledgement and playing the waiting game. Like I said, if you're feeling like me, this kind of anxiety and disappointment has you feeling like its all over. So now's when you gotta remind yourself that the only thing that's over is this moment in your life when you enjoyed a Thing. That Thing can have meant a lot to you, it could have gotten you out of really dark places, and it could be something you'll still think about down the line. It can be something like minecraft cube people that you (I) got way too emotionally attached to. And for whatever reason, that Thing could have meant the absolute world, whether other people would've understood it or not. Its not your fault it ended the way it did, life just does that sometimes, as unsatisfying of an answer as that is. But its true, and its an important lesson. The Thing is over.

You know what's not over though? You. You're life. Whatever the hell you are doing and will do in the future. If this was the best thing in your life you had going for you, I am so fucking sorry. You deserved to be happy with it, we both did. But I promise you, this Thing is a moment in your story, not the whole story. This really was the source of my joy for the past few months, and if its the same for you, I see you. We can feel like shit together, along with the rest of this wonderful community who understand it too. And you know what else we're gonna do? Live, and move on. Not now, maybe not for while, but we're human beings, we persist (sometimes that might look like you're dragging your battered self out of a trench smelling like depression and expired cheese, but you'll get out of the trench, we both will). There's too much to life for this to be what stops you from finding the rest, whether that's some dramatic life change that completely changes the world as you know it for the better... or just figuring out what comes next. Taking a shower, watching that movie you were waiting for the right moment to watch (I'd say this qualifies), setting up a therapy appointment maybe. Whatever you do to feel like a person again, you have that to do, and later down the road you'll have new Things that give it all meaning. So keep yourself going, hit up me or others who would get it, and do what you gotta do to let it pass. Because it will pass.

Deep breaths friend, I'll be cheering for you when it does

#thank you for reading #love you #take care <3 #mcyt #qsmp #qsmp forever #forever player #forever situation #psa #mental health

[blurblicalscripture]

happy tears

warnings/ MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, Self harm scars, smut smut smuttttt, loss of virginity

pairing/ established relationship eddiexfem!reader (she is very sensitive...aren't we all)

summary/ it's y/n's birthday. she's happy to have made it this far—with convincing from eddie

"The big 2-0. You made it babe." Eddie set down the little store bought cake in front of you. Foregoing candles, he had shoved a joint into the cake and lit it.

You smile up at him, taking the joint out of the cake and licking the icing off before inhaling. "I'm surprised I made it this far." It had been intended as a joke but came out a bit too heavy.

The rawness of it hangs over the two of you for a second too long before Eddie chimes in. "I'm so proud of you, babe. Twenty years old. And you finished high school two years ago. That's more than I can say for myself".

He wraps an arm around your waist, reaching for the joint with his free hand. "Only the best for my girl." The butterflies travel from your stomach all the way up, through your smoke filled lungs and into your throat.

"I was wondering why this hit so quick," you lilted. Eddie brought a hand to his chest in mock scandal but couldn't help the smile slipping through the cracks. The weed was better than usual—like some people reserve champagne, Eddie keeps his best strains for special occasions. And you are very special to him.

"Really, though." You kissed his cheek. "Thank you. It's very you."

His smile faded a little, a hand coming to rub the back of his neck. "Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't do anything huge for you this year. I've been trying to save for a place, you know."

"Eddie." You cupped his cheek. It was a little warm as he leaned into you.

His gaze into your eyes was so tender you thought you might be sick—that's what you were. Lovesick. Completely, utterly lovesick. Side pressed to his side, fingers grazing as you passed the joint, there was something burning inside that made you ache with fondness.

Minutes later you find yourselves lazing on the couch, half eaten paper plates of cake balanced on your laps and giggling into each other's mouths.

"You've got a little-" he licked the corner of your mouth, "icing there." You hiccuped a 'thanks.'

"You've got a little-" you licked the corner of his mouth this time, "icing there."

"No, I didn't." His brow creased.

"No. You didn't." Laughter bubbled up and broke your false sincerity. Eddie leaned over and licked a long stripe up your cheek.

"Eww, Eddie! Your tongue is all...cakey." You wiped it off with a palm, brushing it down the thigh of his jean.

"Just making sure my girl is nice and clean on her big day."

"Oh, right. I forgot it was my birthday." You dabbed a bit of icing on your finger, licked it off slowly. A bit too sweet, but red velvet with cream cheese was your favourite and Eddie never failed to please.

"How could you forget such a thing?" He gasps, theatrical as always. Your eyes soften on his. "Eddie?" Your voice is soft.

"Yes, my love," he lilts, still with the dramatics.

"I-uh-thank you for making me happy to celebrate my birthday. I know I said I was surprised I made it this far but you're really the reason I'm still here at all so thank you."

His eyes are glassy, brows furrowed. You press a thumb to his temple. "Oh, Eddie, don't cry. It's a happy thing. Really. I'm happy to be here. With you."

He wipes his eyes, huffs out a humorous "shit." You smile when he looks up at you again, eyes dry. "Right-right. It's a celebration!"

"Exactly." You wrap your arms around his neck.

"Speaking of which, I think it's time for presents!" He sprung up and you whined, making grabby hands like a child.

"I will be back in a flash, babe. Count to ten." He slid along the little hall of the trailer in sock feet, fast as lighting—well, he felt so anyway.

"One, two, three..." You for some reason brought your hands to your eyes as if this were a round of hide and go seek. Eddie's smile split his cheeks when he came back into the room, three boxes in hand.

"Okay, open up sweet thing." He tapped the back of your hand. Giggling, you stayed still. "C'mon. I miss those eyes." He pouted. You opened up finally.

"There's my girl!" He cooed. "Right," he handed you a box, "biggest one first. I think you'll like it."

You gasped at him, placing the boxes on the sofa beside you as he kneeled in front of you. "Oh, Eddie. I- you weren't meant to get me three. I can't—this is way too much." You felt the beginning of hot tears in your eyes, a heavy stone sinking in your stomach.

"Hey, c'mon, none of that." He cupped your cheeks. "You deserve more than I could ever give you, you're everything, okay." His smile was terribly soft. "Now, dig in. I wanna see what you think."

You sniffed, laughing wetly at his impatience as he pressed a box into your palm, this time the smallest one.

You dug your finger under the crease in the paper, tearing it in two. The little black leather box fell into your lap—either a ring or earrings, which made the butterflies crawl all the way up to your throat again. Nobody had bought you jewellery before.

You pried it open to find a pair of homemade dangly earrings. They were made of some mini D&D dice, the perfect size.

"I know they aren't the best but I made them myself...well, Dustin might have helped a little." He chuckled.

You stared into the box in awe. "Eddie, I-"

You sobbed, more of a hiccup than a cry.

He immediately cupped your face, thumb pressing under your eye to hopefully staunch the tears.

"Hey, hey, hey, what is it?" You sucked in a breath, desperate to tell him. "Nobody has ever gotten me something this nice before. I don't deserve this," you weep, snuggling into his chest as he wraps his arms around you.

"Oh, you're breaking my heart here, y/n," he says. You want to ask what he means but you think you kind of know. "Thank you," you say, and nuzzle into the fabric of his shirt. His hair is like a curtain around you and you don't really want to get out.

"C'mon, try 'em on. Wanna see if it's possible for my girl to get even prettier." You giggle as you slip out your tiny silver studs and replace them with the dice. They're the perfect weight in your ears, and the gentle dangle against the side of your neck serves as a reminder of Eddie, which makes your chest swell with something warm.

"You're killer, babe," he says with that signature Eddie smirk. Your cheeks burn a little from having such a huge smile for so long. "Next one?" you chime shyly. He shakes his head, coming out of whatever trance you had put him in. "Right, okay, so this next one I need to explain because I don't want you to get nervous."

"Eddie if there is an animal in that box I am going to pass out on this couch," you declare, deadpan serious, to which he promptly bursts into a fit of laughter.

"Ohhhh, no, babe, this is worse. You're gonna love it though," he hands you the box, "and we'll only use them when you decide the time is right."

"Hmm. 'Kay, but I'm not one hundred percent sure I like you right now," you nervously joke as you tear the wrapping with shaky fingers.

"I love you, too," he lilts.

"Oh." It's a box of condoms. You can't make yourself meet Eddie's eyes, deep in a thought.

"Look, I know it's kind of silly, but I just think you should have 'em, you know, for whenever you're ready." His hand is on your arm, soothing. "Sorry if it's like a weird thing to give you on your birthday. I just thought—"

"It's perfect, Eddie." You lean forward and peck his lips. "Thank you."

"It's not that I'm asking." His cheeks are beet red. "I just want you to know that the option is there."

You haven't had sex with Eddie—yet. You want to, though, you're just a little nervous. But seeing him flushed and flustered over the same topic somehow dulls that trill of nerves inside you.

"Is Eddie Munson nervous right now?" you tease. "You're stealing my bit."

"Hey," He scoffs. "Shut up. You can never be too prepared." You cackle at that but soon quieten, thinking.

"Eddie?"

"Yes, love," he says, gazing into your eyes, a burning stare.

"I do want to," you say. "Y'know, if you do. Been thinking about it."

He sighs in relief, his shoulders dropping. "Oh, trust me babe, I want to. But are you sure? Just because I got them doesn't mean we need to do it right away." His palm is still warm and steady against your arm, giving a small squeeze now and then.

"There is 100% no pressure at all, okay?"

"I promise Eddie. I want you. I do," you lean forward, place a hand on his cheek. It's hot.

He clears his throat. "Well, good thing I saved the best for last," he says, placing the biggest box in your lap—biggest is generous. It's a medium sized, rectangular box. You shake it and hear nothing.

"Not a puppy," you say.

"This is much more exciting, babe, trust me."

You tear off the wrapping to reveal a deep purple box. On the front is a line drawing, the silhouette of a woman's body, and "Ann Summers" in large writing. You lift off the lid.

It's a wand.

Eddie chimes in on your silence as you inspect the gadget. "I know how much you love to play with your little toy at home." You blush madly at the memory of Eddie finding out about your little bullet. "I figured I'd get one that we could maybe use together. You can keep it for just you, though—" he quickly adds "—if you're more comfortable with that. It is totally your call, babe."

His lip is between his teeth now, breath held as he waits for a response. You lift it out of the box, hold down the on button. A pleasant buzzing emits from the toy, gentle, and as you press it again it gets faster, faster.

"Eddie?"

He hums in regard.

"Can you show me how to use it? Please?"

"Oh, baby," he says, scooping you up off the couch. "Of course I can. Now?" he asks, stopping to wait for an answer.

"Please, Eds," you practically whine.

He makes his way to his room with you in his arms, the vibe and condoms in your hands.

You shake your head a little to feel the earrings jingle and you laugh.

You feel Eddie's arms holding you so tightly but ever so gentle, like you're porcelain.

You feel encapsulated by tangible love, it's thick in the air.

He sets you on the bed gently, taking the two items from your hands. "We'll get back to those, babe, promise," he says, moving over you.

His forearms are either side of your head—he had swept your hair out the way before he laid down to prevent any tugging—as he leans down for a kiss.

You move up eagerly to meet his lips and he laughs, the sound a sweet, lovely thing.

"Is it okay if I take my shirt off?" he asks.

"Mhmm," you hum. "C—can I take off mine, too?"

His grin is cheek splitting. "You can do whatever you want. Whatever makes you feel comfortable." He brings his shirt over his head in one swift movement and all thoughts of removing your own are lost as you gaze at his torso.

You had seen him shirtless before, though fleetingly, swimming or just finishing changing, in bed when he was healing from the worst day of your lives. You got lost in the contours of his muscles, the detailed artwork that adorned his chest and arms. The scars from the Upside Down that have healed now.

You understand. You have healed scars of your own. Little lines of silver, raised skin that trail down your forearms. Eddie understands, too. He's kissed them a lot over the years, cried with you over them, loved you all the same.

Brought back to reality by the sounds of his steady breaths, you lean up to drag your own shirt over your head before you lose your nerve. You aren't wearing a bra.

Eddie swears his heart stops for a second as he gazes down at you—cheeks all rosy, lips swollen and wet from kisses, your perfect chest and cute lil stomach laid out all pretty.

"You're beautiful, y/n, really," he says. You shy away, turning your face on the pillow.

"'m not," you mutter. He laughs. "My shy girl, c'mon." You can't fight your smile at him as he turns your face, featherlight fingertips on your jaw.

"Okay if I touch you, please?"

You breathe out a shaky "Yes."

He doesn't go right for your breasts; he leaves you waiting with baited breath, slowly trails barely-there lines along your neck, shoulders, collar bone.

His touch burns, excitement and fondness and love pooling in your stomach and chest. Arousal pooling somewhere else...

Finally you lose some patience, opting to arch your back, pushing your chest out. You take his hand, making eye contact as you bring his warm palm to your breast. He gets the idea and brings the other up, cupping both of them.

"Y'so soft, so pretty," he says. He brings his fingertips down to ghost over your nipples and you gasp. "Theeere you are," he drawls. "That feel good?"

A high "mhmm" is all you can manage as he keeps playing with you. Touching, squeezing, rubbing, it's already too much and you've barely started.

He reaches a hand to his side, grabs the wand. He wiggles his eyebrows at you as he presses the button, smirking when the buzzing sound emits. He brings it to your nipple and you gasp, chest jerking up.

"Oh, Eddie, that—that's good." You're laughing, smiling, high on his touches. He brings a hand to your cheek and at the same time moves the wand down, barely grazing over your skin til it reaches just above where you want it most.

"You ready, sweetheart?" His thumb swipes over your cheek, below your eye. "Yes, please," you squeak, hands on your chest that's moving up and down quickly.

Filled with trepidation, you don't expect the gentle buzzing of the lowest setting to be so blissful. You moan from deep in your chest and Eddie huffs out a breath through his smile. "Shit, that's so hot."

"More, please, Eds," you groan. He flicks up the wand another couple settings and your hips jerk wildly, scooting away from the stimulation.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." He flicks off the toy. "Too much?" His hand is steady on your hip, grounding in the way he grips it.

"Yeah," you huff. "Felt like I needed more though." You lean up on your elbows. "It was really good but... I don't know. Something was missing."

You glance down, the bulge in Eddie's jeans looking painful. With less fear and more curiosity you reach a hand down, palm his cock. He grunts. "Fuck, baby. That what you needed?" He hooks his thumb into the waistband, pulls his pants and underwear down at the same time. "Should've just asked."

You gawk at the size of him. He chuckles. "We're gonna go nice and slowly, that alright with you, sweet thing?"

You swallow. "Okay," you say, voice high. "Will—will you play with me first?" You bring a hand to your lower stomach, rest it there.

"Of course. Gotta get you ready for me, make sure it feels comfortable, yeah?" His hand is on your thigh, the wand still gripped in the other. "You wanna stop and we'll stop. Just say the word."

He explores for a bit, mumbling a "this okay?" or "feels good?" every few moments. And it is. All of it is perfect. You're dizzy under the movement of his hands, legs weak. When he finally slips in a finger you're keening, the touch against your gummy walls is overwhelming. He slips in another and you're gasping, groaning out his name when he curls them up.

When he presses the wand to your clit you're a goner. You moan out his name tearfully, voice thick with pleasure and exertion. You feel blissfully drained as your orgasm comes to a stop, the pleasant pulsing of your clit and fluttering of your walls echoing the moments earlier.

Eddie is smiling down at you with the same love and adoration he always has. It's sickening how sweet he looks, cheeks flushed, eyes soft. You need him closer.

"Ready now, Eds, please?" you lilt. "Gonna fill me?"

He groans at your words. "Fuck, y/n, you're gonna kill me one day, you know?"

You're giggling madly, stroking your hands up and down his ribs as he tears open the box of condoms, puts one on.

"Tell me to stop if you need me to, ok? I mean it sweets. I won't enjoy myself unless you do." He's hovering over you now, elbows caging in your head. You lean up to whisper in his ear. "I trust you, Eddie. I'm ready."

With that he presses the tip in, a gentle pinch that elicits the tiniest groan but he hears it. "Still okay?" He smooths out your hair.

"Yeah, 'mkay." You breathe deep. "I love you, Eddie." Your eyes are teary, cheeks red. You clench your eyes shut and he kisses each lid, coaxing them open. "I fucking love you too, you know that. Every bit of you." You're rolling your hips now, lightheaded at all of this.

He slides in more. You nearly tell him to stop when the stretch blooms in your abdomen but then he's bringing a hand down to rub your clit and you clench around him and - "Oh, fuck," you whine. "Just like that Eddie, please don't stop."

He's grinning wildly at you as you pant and moan, chest heaving. You fully relax, taking his thrusts with ease and excitement. Your hands come to his hair, giggling as you tug at the strands near the back which makes him groan. "That's it, y/n. Such a good girl for me."

At that you're toppling over the edge again, clenching down around him. He murmurs "shit shit shit," and keeps rubbing your clit fast. The drag of his cock against your walls is fucking angelic and he cums embarrassingly fast, moaning out your name.

He lays on top of you for a little bit, a cuddle position you're both used to, before pulling out. He knew you needed the weight to relax you so you could loosen up once again. "Fuck, you're so perfect. Haven't cum that hard, like, ever. Haven't cum that fast since I was a fucking freshman," he says, incredulous.

You snort, lean your forehead into the crook of his neck. "That was a looong time ago, Eds. I'm glad you enjoyed it, though."

He takes your hand. "I'm glad you were there with me for all that time. I mean it. I wouldn't be me if it weren't for you." He kisses your palm.

Your eyes pool with wetness, but before he can fret you're blurting "happy tears, happy tears." and smiling. Your side by side now, legs and arms tangled, so so close.

They are happy tears. Still, he kisses them away.

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie stranger things #stranger things s4

[chinchillamajor]

So, drawing from the whole multiverse of pregnant Simon AUs that've been popping (no pun intended) up on Tumblr as of late, @cottagedeer had the utterly galaxy-brained idea to roll D&D dice to determine how otherworldly any particular AU's Golbaby power levels would be.

I saw what Vanilla Simon (love that name for him!)'s roll ended up as, and all I could think was: "omg, it's my dice!!"

Nobody could have known this, of course, but. I've always been a ridiculously lucky person, with the asterisk that my luck comes from all directions. I'm as liable to inexplicably skip out on an imminent Bad End (no joke-- I've managed to cheat death four times, so far) as I am to find the one-in-a-billion bolt in my pint of ice cream (as my one missing tooth can attest). Things just seem to happen *louder* around me.

And back in 2019, when I was told I probably had cancer for the first time, I ran a medical-bills fundraiser based around a die designed to reflect precisely my own brand of luck.

They were made of solid rose quartz (a nod to my favorite show at the time, Steven Universe) and only had two roll results: an evenly divided number of 1s and 20s.

Of the hundred dice I had made for the fundraiser, I still have *one* left, that I kept.

Out of curiosity, I rolled it today.

...Going by the numbers, I guess it's a *good* thing this universe's spontaneous kiddo never made it to term, because... just my luck, my Golbaby score was a 20. (I rolled it two more times. 20, again. And a third 20. I couldn't stop giggling.)

And then, the thought hit me.

It's probably among the most self-indulgent thoughts I've ever had, but. Hear me out.

*Someone's* gotta help out all those other pregnant Simons, in all those other universes.

So, to anyone with pregnant Simon AUs: I offer myself, in a handy-dandy fiction suit, as "Star Simon," a sort of messenger to all those other Simons finding themselves expecting by surprise.

Star Simon's own Golbaby never made it far enough to be born (too powerful; they had to be nerfed out of having a physical form), but appears as a teeny winged sparkle that follows Star Simon around, and allows him to dimension hop to where and when other pregnant Simons need to see some kindness, most.

After an appearance in each AU Simon’s dreams, Star Simon then has an 'in' to that Simon’s reality, which he only uses to portal in the fluffiest, coziest blankets, the most soothing cups of decaf coffee, and/or pep talks/advice, if needed.

Even in realities with the worst Bad Ends imaginable, Star Simon appears, to offer that Simon the biggest hug he can, and to tell his alternate self, "You did the best you could, and I'm so proud of you. At least *one* of us will always remember that."

...

Feel free to use the idea, or not. No offense taken, believe me!

But either way, I see what y'all are doing. You're building something truly wonderful. ❤️

It's only natural a fellow Simon-alike would want to help out somehow, haha.

#cw mpreg #simon petrikov mpreg #star simon au

[bohnsky]

I've been a f1 fan for a little over two weeks now (which is not a lot, ik) and I thought it would be fun to keep track of my favorite drivers over time.

The first drivers I got to know were obviously my first favorites:

1. Charles Leclerc

The clip of Charles signing his own gloves was basically what got me into f1 in the first place. It's a dumb reason but now I actually enjoy everything that comes with f1 and not only the pretty drivers.

2. Daniel Ricciardo

Danny Ric, my love, I still consider him one of the best people that have ever happened to f1. He is just such a sweetheart and I'm a sucker for simley boys.

3. Max Verstappen

I honestly have mixed feelings about Maxy. I love him for who he is but there are several things that he does or says that I personally consider not okay. I respect him a lot and I think he has a good heart but there are situations that make me think about that twice. But honestly his proud grin when someone laughs about one of his jokes is the best thing on this planet <3

My favorite drivers one week into liking f1:

1. Daniel Ricciardo

I really believe he makes the world a better place by simply existing. I don't think I have to elaborate.

2. Charles Leclerc

My crush slowly fading into the background while I'm starting to get to know the other drivers. Charles will always have a special place in my heart as the reason I got into f1. He is also probably the driver that I'm rooting for the most even though there are so many drivers that I want to see winning.

3. Pierre Gasly

Pierre being Charles best racing friend made me want to learn more about him and suddenly I fell in love. He probably has the most infectious laugh ever and the way he interacts with Yuki makes me melt.

My favorite drivers two weeks into liking f1:

1. Pierre Gasly

Pierre has officially taken my heart. I love him. Portect him at all cost.

2. Alex Albon

This one took me by surprise actually. I was watching stream highlight (because of Charles) a lot lately so I naturally got confronted with the sweetheart that is Alex Albon. I honestly can see him taking P1 from Pierre soon. But it somehow makes so much sense. Alex is definetly the kind of person I would want in my life, while Pierre and Charles are more like a casual celebrety crush ig. Idk, I can't explain it, but Alex Albon yall.

3. Charles Leclerc

Charles is definetly being a constant here. And I really hope he stays in the top three. My love. Always being the one I'm rooting for.

I was playing f1 2020 today and felt like cheating when I even considered driving for anything else than Ferrari. Thanks for that Charles xD

Honerable mentions:

Lewis, of course

Carlos, this man is a mood, plus I've been a fan of Carlos Senior years before I even considered watchin f1 (you see I'm usually more the rally kind of person)

Lando, my brothers favorite

Yuki, honestly the best

And then I realised that I have been lying to myself this whole time because the one and only best is my love Seb Vettel. He is just god tier. The best person to ever wander this world.

And now welcome to my favorite ships in f1:

platonic

Pierre & Charles and Max & Daniel are the perfect best friends to me. This and only this please.

romantic

Charles × Max, Lestappen all the way. I love a good rivals to lovers and these two are just perfect for that. Also I could almost believe that Max actually has a little crush on Charles.

Lewis × Seb, somehow Sewis has gotton hold of my heart, they are both just so soft and I need that in my life.

Carlos × Lando, love, just love, there's nothing else I can say about that. Plus the have the best shipping name. Just Carlando, it's perfect.

Alex × George, this came with my new found love for Alex. I could totally see them as only platonic but I want them to be lovers, because cute.

Pierre × Yuki, I am not like totally shipping them (as in platonic is great too) but they are just the cutest. The way they interact with each other is everything. I want a friendship like this please.

Now let me know if you agree with any of this or if I should check something out that I might like, based on this post :)

#f1 #formula 1 #formula one #charles lecrelc #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #pierre gasly #alex albon #lewis hamilton #carlos sainz junior #lando norris #yuki tsunoda #sebastian vettel #charles & pierre #maxiel #lestappen #sewis #carlando #galex #yukierre

[shatcey]

Alternative prologue IkeVamp

Picture

This is absolutely not canonical. MC is for sure. And I'm not entirely sure about some of the guys. Either I played their routes long time ago, or I don't really understand them. But I did my best.

At first, I start rewriting the entire prologue from the beginning. I don't like it for so many reasons… and finally find where to put this lovely thought of mine.

I turned around and saw a very unique looking man. Golden hair, golden eyes, golden clothes. I've never seen anything even remotely like this. It's like he's made entirely of gold… His name must be Mr. Gold!

But the more I did it, the more I realized that this is not what I wanna do. I had two small (were small at the beginning) scenes in my head, why should I write the rest?

So… here is my very odd version of the prologue after the introduction of the main characters. Everyone will be there except Jean. He didn't show up. What a shy boy!

It was supposed to be a joke. That's why I'm posting this on April 1st. I hope I'm not the only one who finds it funny. Enjoy.

Aproximatly 4500 words. Jeez how did it ended up that long?..

- So... Are you saying that you are all historical figures?

Comte smile one of his signature smile.

- That's correct.

- And how did you all end up in the same time period? I'm not a historian, but even I know that you are all from different times, even centuries?

- That's a really good question, Luv.

Arthur, sitting next to me, put his arm around my shoulders. I push his hand away.

- Mister, could you not touch me? I don't like strangers in my personal space.

The man blinked a couple of times, clearly pouting.

- But I'm not a stranger… I just introduced myself.

He smiles very charmingly, but that didn't change my opinion on the matter.

- That's right! We just met. So, you are a stranger to me.

Very naughty laugh from another side of the table.

- This Hondje is quite feisty.

I look at the smiling man and hold my gaze on him.

- I don't know what you call me, but something tells me that wasn't nice. So please refrain from that in the future.

Very gentle cough caught my attention.

- I have to apologize for my brother. He doesn't know how to behave with women.

I look at the angelic-looking man, and a smile somehow appears on my face.

- You don't have to apologize for him. He's not a child.

Vincent looked at Theo.

- Theo…

- No, no, no! You’ve got me wrong. I don't need he's apologies. I'd rather never talk to him.

-Ouch... that was harsh, Toshiko-san. You may have brought Theo-san to tears.…

The man sitting on the same side of the table as me... Dazai his name. I lean down to meet his gaze.

- Is this a local joke that I'm not aware of? Calling a new person by different names?

- I must apologize for my children. They are quite... unique…

I look at Comte and slowly observe all the people at the table.

- No offense, but how can they be your children if you all look the same age?

- That's another good question, Luv…

Arthur held out his hand to me, but stopped and took it away.

- Don't you like the food?

I thought my heart would definitely jump out of my chest. The voice came from right behind me. I turn around and meet Sebastian's gray eyes.

- Jeez... where did you come from?

- I've been standing behind you all this time... and you haven't even tried to eat...

- I’m… you are right…

I take a deep breath, calming my poor heart, and take a bite. Either I was very hungry, or it was the most delicious meal I've ever eaten.

A proud smile appears on the Conte's face

- Sebastian is the best cook. I still can't believe how lucky I was to get him.

- To get?

- He's just like you... human.

I was very unlucky that I took a bigger piece at that exact moment. But it instantly stuck in my throat. Don't try to think about it.… Just chew… I did as my brain said. I take a glass, presumably of water, and take a long sip before answering.

- That means... The rest of you are not human?

- Exactly.

I take another sip.

- Assuming it's possible… Who are you when?

- Vampires.

- Hmm.…

Ok. It's definitely not possible. I finally felt confident enough to look up, and realized that everyone was looking at me with a mixture of surprise and admiration.

- What?

- You're taking it better than we expected.

- Because it's an obvious lie.

- I assure you, it is not.

- Real vampires… I mean really existing vampires like bats or mosquitoes...they need a lot of blood. Like much more than their own weight.

- Really?

I bend down to meet a very surprised pink gaze. Isaac?

- You were so quiet, I even forgot you were here, cutie. But yes, it's true. Check on Google…

A very strange pause and suddenly...

- Did I hear her right? Did she just call Ai-san a cutie?

- Issak, you are blushing. Oh, she made old boy blush...

- Theo, what is Google?

- I don’t know. Most likely, something that we don't need.

- Who gave it its name? Goo goo... what is that?

- I guess you don't like the sound of it, Wolfie.

- Don't call me that! It's disgusting coming from you.

- So, in other words... you don't mind if someone else calls you that?

- Hahaha…

The last one was from Napoleon. I didn't hear him talking to anyone, but his laugh was something....

- I probably shouldn't have said that... - I mumble to myself.

Suddenly, the door opened and another man entered.

- I can't remember the last time we had such a lively dinner…

- Leonardo! -  Comte exclaims.

- Oh, we have a guest… Sorry for being late. Leonardo, Leonardo da Vinci.

- Aaaaaah. Another historical figure…

- …She didn't sound impressed...

- No offense, but I'm already meet a musician whose music increase brain activity.

- Wha?

- My favorite painter of all times.

- She just called…

- At least she has taste…

- And my childhood crush.

- What is “crush" mean? -  It was said in such a low voice that I couldn't make out who said it.

- Brief, but very strong, even obsessive love. Usually to a person who is out of reach.

- Thank you, Sebastian. That was very informative.

- Childhood? It could have been any of us. Well, probably not you, Dazai. No offense.

- He-he. Not taken. I would be very surprised if it was me.

- So... - I raise my voice - My point is... it's really hard to beat.

The man smiles and sits down next to Comte.

- She's very unusual…

- Actually, while my brain is still working... it's pretty noisy here… Before everything... started, I was trying to ask, who is donating blood to you?

- Oh, it's all legal. We have…

- No! I don't really care! I was asking, why is someone voluntarily giving you so much blood?

- But we don't need much.

- This is absurd!

- I like her more and more... Comte, why didn't you wake me up earlier?

- I was as mesmerised as you are right now…

- Stop it! Don't try to distract me!

- Am I really your favorite painter?

- What is the brain activity you were talking about?

- Who were your childhood crush? It's me, isn't it, Luv?

- Oh... I think I have a headache…

- Would it be better if we continued in my office?

- I don't know? Does this mean there will be less people?

- Absolutely!

The Comte gave me his usual encouraging smile, and I nodded.

(***)

Only Comte and Leonardo came with me to the office. At the very moment when we sit down at the table, Sebastian appears seemingly out of nowhere with a tray of tea.

- How does he do it?

- What are you talking about, ma chère?

- Don't mind me. This guy gets on my nerves.

- Just him? I thought all of us...

- All the others are just noisy, but this one is… creepy.

- Oh, poor Sebas, she really doesn't like you.

- I don't care what she thinks.

I'm glad to know that our dislike is mutual. A very noble cough attracts my attention.

- I know that all this information can be quite overwhelming.… Maybe you need some time…

- You said that I was stuck in this time for a month. What options do I have?

-  Cara mia...

- Don't use other languages. I think I'm very lucky to have learned one, and I'm pretty sure I'm not capable of more.

- You underestimate yourself.

- Maybe so. But just... don't do it!

- If you say so…

- Well, you can stay here with us, or I can rent you a house in the city. If it suits your tastes better.

- It's a little too much for a stranger. Maybe you have another house where there are less people?

- Don't you want to live with us? Why?

That voice was coming from outside the door. And it probably belonged to Vince.

- Perhaps they are children in secret?..

- I have my suspicions about this... - behind my back. I don't flinch this time. But it's still pretty scary when he does it…

- I have another house... but my eldest lives there…

- And who is this?

- William Shakespeare.

(pause)

- He probably writes all the time. He didn't even notice me there.…

- If you like writers... why don't you stay with me. I can please you much better than he can.

- What was the point of leaving the dining room at all?..

- Ahem... But you didn't say why you didn't want to stay with us, Cara...oh, sorry... old habits die hard.

- Well... unmarried women living with... how many of you are here... 9.. 10 men… It's really bad for my reputation. Not that it matters what people think of me at this time period, I will definitely leave this place in a month. But I still don't wanna feel hostile stares at me.

- There are 11 of us.

- What?

- You haven't met Jean yet.

- Whatever… And the second... which should probably be the first… You're vampires. So... Having a bag of warm, fresh blood nearby will be too tempting to ignore.

- Sebastian has been with us for a while, and no one has ever tried to bite him.

- No offense, Sebastian, but I don't want to bite you either.

- Do you have such desires often?

Pause…

- I don't want to answer that question.

- I understood your point. So... Let's go to William. I'll ask if he doesn't mind.…

(I cannot even read Old English, let alone write. So William will speak mostly normally)

We arrived at a very nice cottage a slightly outside the city. I was surprised to see a lot of flowers in the garden. Does he even have time to take care of them? I thought this guy couldn't think of anything but writing…

Comte knocked on the door, and a few moments later the door opened. We were met by a very strange man in obviously out of time clothes. His mismatched eyes widened in obvious surprise.

- Good Comte!

- Will, I apologize for the unannounced intrusion.

- Come in.

We entered the house, and I was immediately surprised to see how neatly it was decorated. So many details. Everything sparkles and shines like a jewelry shop, no less.

- Will… I know it's a little sudden.… But could this lady stay with you for a month?

The mismatched eyes look at me as if I'm not even a person, but an object. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the mansion after all.

- If this is that my sire wants.... I will gladly grant his wish.

- Thank you very much. I feel responsible for her well-being.

- It's not your fault, you know…

- Maybe so. But you ended up in this situation because I wasn't careful enough.

- Could you please explain to me what you are talking about.

- Oh, yes. This young lady is from the future. She noticed the door and went through it to this time.

- I thought it was impossible...

- Yes... me too… So... she will stay in this time for a month until the door opens next time.

- I see.

- Don't worry. We'll just be roommates.

- I believe he has a separate room for you…

- That's not what I meant. I mean people who live together but don't interact at all. We probably wouldn't even see each other.

- Why is that?

- I don't like to stay indoors. Taking pictures, wandering around, making small talk with random strangers… It's kind of my thing. But I also like to read books. I'm sure you have at least some…

- Hmm.…

- Wonderful. At least you don't have a headache here.

I smile radiantly and begin to look around.

- Is there anything here that I'm not allowed to touch? I don't wanna invade your privacy, so tell me in advance.

- Hmm…

- Yes, she is quite overwhelming… You get used to it.

(Some time later)

- Don't touch it!

- Why? You didn't mention it when I asked.

- Woman! What's gotten into you? Why do you need to touch everything you see?

- I don't know… I'm curious… And I didn't touch you, so not everything.

- I can't believe he just dumped you on my head!

- For a person who works with creative people, you are quite short-tempered.

- I've never met such an irritating person in my life...

- No one has ever told me that... I think we're just incompatible.

- Obviously. You said you don't like being indoors.

- I am. But I don't know this place yet and I don't wanna get lost.

- What a wonderful idea…

- What did you say?

- Nothing. Come on. I'll show you around. And you need a dress.

- Why? What's wrong with my dress?

- First of all... it's shamingly short.

- I don't think so!

- In 19th century it's too short.

- Oh... right… I forgot.

After the incredibly awkward process of buying a dress. Why do they need so many people to take measurements? I finally got outside. I need to keep reminding myself... Don't even try to breathe, it's an unattainable desire. This is not a dress, but an instrument of torture.

- Maybe I should stay indoors... - I muttering to myself

- What now?

- I cannot breathe in this...

- You'll get used to it.

- I don't want to get used to it!

Some people turn around to look at me disapprovingly. I probably don't have the right to show emotions either... Wonderful!

- So... This is the main street with lots of shops. If you turn right, you will find yourself in front of my house after a while.

- That's right… We came here this way…

- So that's it... enjoy.

- Hey! Are you seriously going to leave me here alone?

- You said…

- Right, right, I said… Sorry... See you at home…

He takes a long exasperated sigh and instantly disappears into the crowd.

- But the problem is… I don't speak French...

I take a long exhale…

- Okay. I'll figure something out...

I move with the crowd in one direction, then in another… And somehow ended up in an alley with very beautiful trees. I look around. Nobody. This is my only chance. I take out my phone and take a couple of pictures. Perfect. Well, at least I'd have something to prove that I'm not crazy. But... It's just trees, I need something more.… Oh, such a lovely church…

(This part already seems like the beginning of the route. I just cannot imagine NOT falling for him. I'm doomed)

I opened a very heavy door and entered a dimly lit church. It's empty… Interesting… I look around, enjoying the way the stained glass window casts multicolored light into the room... I walk slowly down the hall, finally find the right angle and take a shot. The echo of footsteps makes me turn around, and I hurriedly hide the phone.

Two men approached from the other side of the church. One of them had very odd white hair. Not gray, but white. I've never seen anything like that. And the other was in the priest's clothes. Right… I'm in the church, not museum. They said something, probably to me, but I didn't understand. I smiled shyly and decided to leave. I clearly shouldn't be here. But the moment I touched the handle, the door opened and the young man almost bumped into me.

- Pardon... - he said and, without slowing down, ran inside the church.

He said something swiftly in French. I didn't understand a word, but something caught my attention and I looked around. My eyes met the priest's and my heart skiped a bit. How did I not notice this before? He's gorgeous… Tall and undoubtedly muscular frame, fluffy dark hair, sharp gaze… I cannot even look away.

- Hello… Do you perhaps speak English?

I look in the direction of the voice. It was a man with white hair.

- Actually, I do.

- What brings you here? - A deep vibrating voice, and my brain just stopped working.

- Huh? -  I stare at the priest, dumbfounded.

- You look so cute.… Can we play? - The guy with pink hair who had just arrived suddenly came close to me and whispered in my ear.

- Could you not invade someone else's personal space…

- What are you talking about? – A completely innocent look of confusion on his face.

- I'm talking about my personal space. And I don't like strangers in it.

- Right, we didn't introduced.

- She came to us. She has to introduce herself first.

- Huh? – And again... What is this man doing to me?

The absolutely sincere laughter sounded especially loud in the empty church.

- I didn't expect that... - The white-haired guy. Up close, I noticed that his eyes were red. Is he sick or something?

- Why are you looking at me? She probably has hearing problems…

- Right… I wouldn't expect anything less from you…

- I'm Charles. Nice to meet you! – Guy with pink hair smiled brightly.

- I'm Vlad. And this grumpy priest is Faust.

- An unusual name.

- It's not a name. But he prefers to be called that.

- I see. I'm Jane.

- Really?

I look at Vlad and feel uncomfortable for no reason.

- I have a pretty ordinary name…

- I think it's beautiful. Just like you! - Charles ones again has come too close to me, and I look at him disapprovingly.

- I just told you…

- It's pointless. He only hears what he wants to hear. -  I look at Faust and somehow manage to nod. Oh, progress! I'm not as hopeless as I feared.

- So, what brings you here? – This time the question was from Vlad, and I managed to answer.

- I think… I got lost... - I allowed myself an ironic laugh.

- It doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest...

- Oh......It's been a very long and eventful day, and I just cannot bring myself to feel something anymore... I guess...

- I've never heard of this.... Docteur you?

- No. But somehow I understand what she meant...

- Lovely... -  Vlad smiles and happily claps his hands.

- If she got lost… Maybe we could take her home?

- I'm not a stray kitten!

- Huh? I think you're cuter than a kitten.…

- ...I have a headache again…

- Really? I can look for a medicine for you…

- No... that's not what she meant...

- Charles, we cannot keep her, but we definitely have to feed her.

- Once again, I'm not a stray kitten!

- Welcome to my world…

I look at him, and for the first time, something like real emotion shows in his eyes. Oh... whey are green... Pretty...

There was a mountain path behind the church. I was sure I was going to die before we got up that damn mountain. It seems that this ascent will never end. But I was the only one who was out of breath. Right. They probably do this all the time…

As soon as we got to the top, Charles said something about food and disappeared. My head was spinning and my lungs were on fire, I fell to the ground, unable to stand any longer.

- You have so little stamina...

"Really? You noticed?" - I wanted to say ironically. But at the moment the top of my abilities were probably not as scary as I hoped gaze. He smirked and disappeared into the... What is it? A Castle? I just noticed...

- You shouldn't be sitting on the ground. You'll catch a cold…

After several attempts, I finally managed to stand on shaky legs. Vlad holds my hand. My breathing still resembles asthmatic in the worst possible stages. I need to practice. Walking is not enough exercise!

- Come on… I'll show you the garden. Charles needs some time to prepare the food.

He pulls at my hand, but I stop in my tracks.

-Really?

- Excuse me?

- Why all people at this time period... are so desperately trying to feed me? Do I look that hungry?

The man's eyes seem to open a little wider than usual.

- This time period?

- Don't mind me… The garden, you say.

We bend the castle, and behind it opens the most beautiful garden I have ever seen. I thought William's garden was cute, but this…

- So beautiful…

- I'm glad you like it. This is my garden…

- You mean... You planted, tended and... everything else?

- Yes.

- But it's huge! It's like... a mile long. And there are a lot of flowers… How can one person do this?

- I have all the time in the world…

Ring the bell!

- Don't tell me…

- Do you have a question?

- I have, but... what the hell, I have nothing to lose! I mean, even if I don't ask, you'll probably kill me.

His eyes widened ones again.

- Are you a vampire?

He blinks. The pause seemed to take forever.

- And what exactly gave you that idea?

I turn at the sound of oh so much familiar voice and meet with green eyes. He seemed to be much closer than I expected… How did he manage to sneak up on me unnoticed? And somehow that thought allowed me to finally talk to him.

- I don't know.… The same vibe…

- Vibe…

I take a deep breath. Don't tell me they don't have that word as well.

- I don't know... he just seems different.

- How so? People don't even suspect me.

- Well... if you don't expect something different, you won't notice a thing.

- And you expect it... So you knew…

I look at Faust questioningly.

- Charles said there was a girl in the mansion…

Wonderful. So, I got the confirmation I was asked for.

- Why do vampires find me? Does my blood smell good or something?

- You found us. So you tell. Do we smell nice?

Faust! What the hell are you doing? How can you ask this so bluntly? And my voice, which has just returned to me, disappears again.

The charming laugh attracts my attention... Vlad seems to be enjoying my suffering. Suddenly Charles jumps out into the garden and points an accusing finger at Faust.

- How could you make her fall in love with you in my absence? It's so sneaky of you...

- I'm not in love with him!

- Really? It's very hard to believe…

I'm looking at Vlad seriously.

- It's called crush. And I'll get over it in no time, as soon as I realize that he has nothing but good looks.

- You sound so sure…

- I have experience.

Yes. Experience. The first was a scientist who died before I was even born. Then a couple of actors. And finally, my college teammate. The last one was the worst. He knew and only exploited my feelings. I hate him. I hate it so much! But that's all in the past. And now... the priest. At least my addiction to unreachable guys hasn't changed…

- Did I miss something?

- You obviously did. But let's go inside. The food is waiting…

Carefully avoiding looking at Faust, I follow Vlad and Charles, who is bouncing at every step.

(***)

After an extremely delicious dinner, I finally felt relaxed. So... What should I do? I looked around and chose a victim.

- So… I have a question…

- Of course. What would you like to know?

- Do you dye your hair?

- W-w-what?

- I have never seen such a shade of hair.… You probably killed them when you did it.… Can I touch it?

- No... no! Stop it!

I begin to pursue Vlad, who is dissatisfied with my desire to touch his hair. Have know idea why.

- Voïvode? Do you need a help?

We ran around the table a couple of times before he finally realized that he was taller than me and his hair was completely safe. I got tired of running and fell down on the couch. What's next? I look at Charles.

- You can do whatever you want with me.

- No.

- Aww. Why?

- I don't know. Probably because you agree so easily.…

Charles looked at Faust very sadly.

- What? She completely ignores me. 

- Lucky you!

- Vlad! What's there?

I pointed to a door that didn't seem to have been used for a long time…

- I don't know…

- Good! Let's explore…

I jump up and try to open the door, but it won't budge.

- Owww.… It's closed. Vlad!!!

- Where does she get so much energy from?

- Maybe she's 5 years old?

Oh… good idea! Thanks Faust.

(Several days later)

- Oh, candy!

- No! You cannot give her sweets! – Vlad is almost crying.

- Sorry... sorry... She was smiling so radiantly that I forgot.

I think it's time to slow down a bit. I'm desperately trying to keep a smile from spreading. I feel someone's gaze on me and meet Faust's eyes first time for a very long time. Damn, he noticed. I raise an eyebrow questioningly. But he just smirked and didn't say a word. Didn't expect that...

I'm going back to my room in the castle. I have no idea why they still want me to stay with them. I'm constantly harassing both of them. I'm too clingy and overly emotional with Vlad and, on the contrary, very cold and distant with Charles. They're really weird.

William must be overjoyed because I got lost. I haven't heard from him since the first and thelast day we saw each other. It's probably for the best. Charles regularly tells me about what's going on in the mansion. I don't know who is providing him with information, and I don't really care. According to him, all the residents are very worried about me. I have no idea why. I was pretty rude to them. Vampires are certainly strange creatures…

But my biggest problem is… Faust. I lie down on the bed and cover my face with a pillow to muffle the scream.

- How can he be so damn perfect?!?

This crush has a very high probability of developing into true love.

I'm doomed.

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