#and I think it’s stupid that ppl will attack people for any kind of negative opinion | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daz4i · 9 months

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thank you! and yes ofc, any input is welcome! okay, so i've seen some people talk about how many fics get chuuya and dazais dynamic wrong, but i've not actually seen any specific critiques, so i was wondering if you have any tips to avoid, for lack of better term, to write one of the "bad ones"?

also, i don't have money for the light novels, is it generally frowned upon to write skk without having knowledge of how they are in the light novels? i don't if they're that different, but i've seen comments like "if you just read stormbringer, you'd understand" so just wondering if i'm missing out on A Lot.

and for fic posting, this is not that important, but is there some popular fic boosting tags if i wanted to promote it on tumblr?

oh these are great questions!! lemme try to answer it in an organized way (edit from myself after typing the answer up: i am so sorry for this monster of a post askjdfgh hope it's not too overwhelming 😭🙏)

skk dynamic:

one thing i think is important to keep in mind is that it has layers, and that they're not quite honest in their interactions. a good example for what i mean is like when they're rescuing q and chuuya talks about how he can't stand dazai, but then later when dazai is attacked by lovecraft chuuya is immediately concerned and runs after him to make sure he's okay, being shocked and worried when he sees his arm missing, etc. (dazai is even worse in that regard lmao)

i can speak on my own personal pet peeve with skk fics is where their personalities are flattened, and thus their relationship is as a result as well (for example, reducing chuuya to a tsundere, or making him stupid, while making dazai some dark edgelord etc) this can lead to missing one key thing in their relationship: they're equals

soukoku even just as a fighting duo isn't just "dazai thinks up strategies and chuuya fights", the whole reason they're considered unbeatable to their enemies is because they're both strong - they can both fight, and they're both smart and good at thinking quickly on their feet. it's just that chuuya is better at fighting, and dazai's strategies are more airtight. this way they're enhancing each other's abilities. so, translating that into their general dynamic is also important

another way in which they're equal that i think shows this last part^ even better, and smth that i think ppl tend to miss, is that dazai never really manipulates chuuya or forces him into situations he doesn't want to take part in - he always asks for chuuya's final word on the matter. chuuya follows his plans because he too knows they're likely the best option. this is how they maintain their trust in each other

(honestly the only time i think you can argue dazai tries to manipulate chuuya is in their reunion in the dungeon, but really it's more for shits and giggles on his end, no real malice, and chuuya probably knows that too, i think)

light novels:

first off!! even if you can't afford them, bsd-bibliophile has them right here!!! i really recommend checking it out :)

i don't think you HAVE to read them but like. it's good to know what happens in them at least generally, and it can definitely help the nuance of their dynamic. the sb comment is kind of right bc it helps figuring out one of those layers i mentioned in the beginning

i actually haven't finished strombringer myself hehe but one thing i got from it so far and from reading analysis of it (which can also help if you don't mind getting spoiled!) that i think is important, esp if you're writing about their mafia days, is that chuuya does hate dazai in the early stages of their relationship, but like. because he sees himself in him. and he sees despair he doesn't want to give in to. at least back then, dazai kind of embodies his negative thoughts about himself, even if not literally and just in his mind.

also on a more basic level both of them (tho esp fifteen) offer some shenanigans of them being silly teenagers. also dazai cringe compilation. actually this is an important part of it i think dazai should always be at least a little bit pathetic when chuuya's around (but that might also be just my own personal take :P)

tldr for the light novels thing, i think it really depends on what sort of fic you're planning to write. canonverse, and esp mafia days, i'd say it's fairly important. aus, not so much, but it can help. relationship explorations, probably. silly fluff or pwp, not really. yknow :?

posting:

hmmmmm i don't know any particular tags (except like, basic stuff, fandom / ship / main characters / "fanfiction" / maybe key tropes you're using? tho it's def not a must) but some general tumblr hacks:

posting at the right hours and days helps; around the afternoon or early evening in american timezones, on the weekends, is probably the best time to gain most traffic

use ao3's automatic sharing or post the fic as the link post format, rather than a text post or picture with a link inserted into the text. idk if it still exists, but it used to be that posts with links in the text would be hidden from search results, especially if you're a new blog (i think it was mostly removed but the new blog thing might still be relevant)

don't use swears and esp not "fuck" and its variations in the tags. hides posts from search results (i think "shit" and such is okay?? but i'm not entirely sure so. to be on the safe side, better to avoid) also don't use "nsfw" or any other possibly nsfw tags even if it's needed

speaking of. while it's probably responsible to use community labels. i'm p sure tumblr hides mature posts from search results 😭 i saw artists complaining abt their posts getting flagged and even getting shadowbanned over it iirc so. unfortunately it's probably better to avoid 😔 save the warnings for the fic itself

this might be a bug only i have lol but after making a post with quite a few tags, wait a few seconds before refreshing the tab or moving to another page. i noticed that otherwise it can hide the post from everywhere except your own blog (it might also be only relevant to image posts? but again, to be on the safe side, it won't hurt to do it)

okay i think that's all. i will say that everything i said abt skk might be just my own personal interpretation hehe so don't take my word as gospel!!! i'm sure there are many other fans and writers who view them in an entirely different light, and at the end of the day, it's up to you to choose your own version to write

and with that, i'm also turning this post to my followers, if you want to add anything, or if you have links to good analysis posts that could answer one of these questions, please go ahead! :D

as for you anon, i wish you good luck with writing, and mostly i hope you have fun with it!!! :3 just bc you see some of us complaining abt fics sometimes doesn't mean you should walk into it scared, actually please don't!!! you can do whatever you want really, and i'm sure there will be an audience for your work no matter what you create! <3

#i feel like i definitely missed smth but i can't figure it out now so i hope it's enough anyway 🙏#mmmmmmmm lemme tag this post for the sake of others who might need it too perhaps #soukoku #bungou stray dogs #ok that's it

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sophieinwonderland · 1 month

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hi o/ jus wana start by saying dis is jus semi incoherent rambling of a sleeby oupy who didnt get to eat 5 borgars for dinner.

i find the anti endo point of “just doing it for attention” so weird

for one its really disconected from real life, like, attention is a basic need fir our body, its why solutary confinment is such good tourture. its like saying “theyre just doing it to get food” :l dumb argument, evyone needs and withholding food because someones starving is an evil thing to do, an so is ignoring someone who’s in need of social interaction.

and two, its blatantly wrong. like, we’ve told 0 people irl about being a system, we’ve only told like, 3 online friends, and we never talk about system stuff with them still cuz we’re scared of loosing those friends for being too weird. we pretty much never post about it on our blog an besides the blog description no one wud probably ever know. the one time someone guessed we’re a system in a discord servr i had a full anxiety attack an avoided any interaction for 2 weeks even tho they were accepting, an then when we finaly went back to talking there i made sure we had any trace of system stuff wiped from the servr profile an deleted the messages that made them ask and only just showed that all again after 2 months of keeping everything hidden. we’re terrified of people we know knowing we’re a system or getting attention cuz of tgat.

tho we’re definitly on the extreme end for that (mostly me tbh… the social isolation and abandonment issues exo-memories and the body’s trauma from similar irl stuff deff made me super scared about this) but its a pretty similar experience for a lot of systems from wut ive seen where telling ppl is pretty much an act of compleat trust an usualy very anxiety inducing.

besides, if someone really wus just after attention, they could just post a incorrect fact online or a really dumb take. thats much easier an will get a lot more attention than faking being a system ever could. like, saying something like “reading is bourgeoisie” on a semi popular post will be a thousand times better at getting u attention than being a system ever could.

theres so much more i wana say about this, like the ableism inherent to that argument point, or the way its linked to child abuse, but phone keyboard is stupid and terrible and im too hungy to think well enough to write out those points properly an do them justice.

anyways, i hope u have a great day/night depending on when u read this.

Right! And if they're claiming people are wanting positive attention, I don't see that as being that hard either.

Like, if someone wants to talk to people on the internet about stuff, there are spaces out there for literally anything and anyone. You're not going to get more attention for being a system than you would for being outspoken in a fandom or a religion or any other social group you're a part of.

People who want attention... don't need to pretend to have people in their head to get it. And the attention you would get for that is often going to be negative because a lot of people are sanist and pluralphobic. But as you mention, it's not even the best way to get negative attention when there are so many actual troll-y things you can do.

You can find hundreds of communities online with people who will support you and give you attention for your takes on various topics! Or you can find hundreds more who will hate you if you push the right buttons!

There's just... no logical reason to fake being plural for attention.

And isn't this, again, the very same claims that have always been made against the LGBTQ community?

It's actually kind of funny how that happens, isn't it?

The people who are getting attention are generally the ones who most conform to society. It's not plural or trans people. It's the ones who do their best to fit in and be like everyone else in their group. Meanwhile, people who have identities that diverge from the norm are often left outcasts and shunned by peers.

And yet it's the latter group that's accused of attention seeking?

It makes no sense. 🤷‍♀️

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #r/systemscringe #systemscringe #hate group #hate groups

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vro0m · 3 months

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Hiiiii

So I’ve discovered what I found familiar and disliked about the interactions from your anon with the negative views and parasocial thing re:Lewis

Team LH on twt keep involving themselves in places that aren’t LH friendly and demand that others share their views which is nonsensical because if these ppl hate LH why are you engaging with them

They complain about ppl mentioning LH for clicks and then they respond and quote twts providing engagement and furthering the reach of these ppl

This part here is an assumption but if I had to deal with racism and discrimination on work (within f1) unprovoked and then my fans keep adding fire to those flames via sm engagement I might just spend less time on sm since I’m not about to quit my job

LH seems like the kind of person that would focus on making changes in areas he can control (sm, vacation activities, privacy etc)

Anyway I’m rambling now but yeah…..team LH complain about everything but engage with the very same ppl and articles they should ignore and it’s very pessimistic and argumentative behaviour

Hi! So there's a few things here. I wanna start by saying although you're taking Team LH as an example I think it's important to recognize that this isn't specific to them, nor F1.

I've had a twitter account for more than a decade – I don't engage with F1 content there myself, I'm just not interested – and I see very similar behaviour in my timeline although it's not fandom-based at all but queers and leftists and feminists and generally cool people and/or my friends. They tend to quote tweets that make them react (which is the equivalent of pointing directly at someone in front of your group of friends and saying look how stupid this guy is basically) and that makes other people react and so on and that's just how twitter is built. That's how twitter works. Twitter's foundation IS people yelling at each other. Is it stupid? Absolutely. But that's genuinely just what this platform is about and how interactions happen there most of the time. (Also not just there tbc I've seen such things happen here on tumblr and on every social media but twitter absolutely favours this more than any other social media).

And then you add fan behaviour on top of that and yeah. A lot of people tend to engage and get into fights about what or who they like and that's a human thing that's then sometimes magnified by parasociality and just. The fact that you're generally invested, you know? You invest time, and energy, and most of all emotions into a person, or a band, or an actor/actress, or a topic or whatever, that means something to you and that makes you feel something. And ultimately being a fan of something tends to be a bit of a foggy self-identification process, right? It becomes a part of you. So when people attack it, it feels like they're attacking you, they're judging you, because you don't like the right thing the right way, and it feels personal and so you feel the need to defend it because you feel the need to defend yourself for what you like and how you like it. It's an emotional thing. I think it's easy to get caught up in that. I remember how personally I took it when people made fun of things that I liked and projected myself into and made me feel joy at some points in my life. That's why I don't blame Anon from the other day. Because it's not easy to detach from what other people think of what we like and what we do and ultimately of who we are. Maybe I'm getting a bit deep about this but you get what I mean : people get emotional about stuff they like and identify with.

Still I think it's always important although maybe not always easy to try to be a bit meta about things and take a step back and be like okay wait a minute because how did I get here at first I was just enjoying this cool thing and sharing my enjoyment with people and now I'm anxious and angry what is this about and how do I get back to the part where it's nice and joyful? Because that thing that made you feel good should make you feel good.

Good luck trying to explain that to fucking twitter though.

#vro0m's asks

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shinsouskitten · 4 years

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Hey Kat🤗 I was wondering if you could write about Bakugou, Shinsou, or Hawks meeting the reader’s family and something goes wrong and they don’t like them at first. Or possibly the parents think they are a negative influence on the reader.

Hey hey hey

I asked my mom how she’d react if I was dating someone she didn't like and she rlly just said “you wouldn’t be dating them if i didn’t like them”

like damn sis okay chile

Warnings: does it count as angst if the parents are the ones being mean? if so, there’s angst, but also fluff, bakugou is bakugou

---

💥 Katsuki Bakugou:

It wasn’t the best first meeting. You had planned to introduce your long term boyfriend to your family at your own pace, but of course the villains of the city had other plans.

You were on a date, en route to the cinema to catch a new movie amidst Bakugou’s insistence that it was a ‘stupid unrealistic movie’. Mere metres from the entrance a villain came rushing past, a handful of gold jewelry in his arms. He pushed you to the side in order to keep running, which of course enraged Bakugou, who immediately took off after the villain, completely oblivious to the sirens following his path.

Unsurprisingly he caught him within moments, but what you hadn’t realized was that all the events had been caught by your dad, standing on the other side of the street. Your dad knew you had a partner, and he knew that they were a hero, given you cancelled every opportunity to meet with the excuse of ‘another villain attack’. What he hadn't expected, however, was for your partner to be possibly his least favorite hero currently climbing the ranks.

Later that night, after your forfeit on the movie date in favour of a much more simple date with your bed, you had a series of texts from your parents.

So, Ground Zero is the partner we’ve heard so little about?

He’s a bit aggressive, isn’t he?

You should’ve told us sooner.

We just don’t want you getting hurt.

That had been the moment you were waiting for. Anyone who didn’t know Bakugou (and a few who did) would describe him as a never ending pool of anger, too aggressive to be a hero and too mean to be a good partner. But if they knew him the same way you did, they would know that’s not always the case.

Of course he’s angry when he has to deal with stupid villains interrupting every date he plans, or news reporters crowding him like an animal in a zoo whenever they got the chance. But he was different with you, more relaxed. He didn’t exactly express his emotions in the best ways, but he loved you, and he’d never hurt you.

Your parents practically demanded a meeting the next day, and blatantly refused to accept any excuses of villain attacks or the like. The meeting was awkward, with your father almost attempting to provoke Bakugou simply to prove a point, but your boyfriend knew this. He put on a good face, masking his worry and anger with an uncharacteristically kind attitude and baffling you all.

Maybe he’d changed his ways. Or at least, that was the conclusion your parents came to by the end of the night, wishing you well as you made your way home. You fought the urge to laugh at Bakugou’s sudden change once your parents left his view, and held back a smile throughout his mutterings of ‘stupid extras’.

He kept up appearances for long enough, but by the time your parents noticed it was a farce, they realized there was nothing they could do to stop the love you held for each other. After all, he may be an ass, but he’d never hurt you.

---

💜 Hitoshi Shinsou:

Shinsou, on the other hand, wanted to meet your family pretty quickly. If anything, just to get it out of the way, but there was a part of him that wanted the validation that he was good enough for you. Sometimes he just didn’t feel like he was, so if your parents liked him, it’d definitely be a weight off his shoulders.

The two of you picked out a nice restaurant, keeping in mind your parents favorite foods in an attempt to butter them up, then send them a text asking you to meet you and Shinsou for dinner. They replied eagerly, especially when you mentioned the two of you were covering the bill.

You arrived first, giving your name at the door and sitting down on the plush leather anxiously awaiting the arrival of your parents. When you finally saw them, the two of you stood up to greet them, you offering hugs while Shinsou held out his hand with a smile.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He said.

Your parents nodded, a false replica of a smile on their faces as they ignored Shinsou’s hand.

The air around you was thick, no one willing to be the first to break the uncomfortable silence, until you eventually suggested you all sit down. You made a mental note to tip your waiter extra when the night was over. It was clear they could sense the awkwardness, and thank the lord they came over at the exact moments you feared a bomb might explode.

The meals went down perfectly, but the atmosphere made it difficult to enjoy anything. Your parents spoke little, and when they did, it was always to you, almost as if Shinsou wasn’t even present.

To be truly honest, he’d expected this reaction, although he hoped he was just overthinking. He knew people didn’t react to his quirk well, and there were many misconceptions about how much he used it. He had hoped your parents hadn’t been so quick to judge.

By the time your waiter delivered your check, you were ready to curl up in your bed and not emerge for a good few weeks. The four of you walked to the door silently, but before you could wish them goodnight, Shinsou spoke up, his hand holding yours tightly as he faced your parents.

“I just want you to know, whether you like me or not, I love Y/n more than anything, and I would never do anything to hurt them. I will protect them until my last breath, and I hope that we can sort out any differences with time.”

Did he really just confess his love to you in front of your parents? Yup. Well, at least it seemed to get a response this time, as your dad replied:

“I should hope you do.” Your dad held out his hand, and Shinsou took it a bit more than happily. “Or I’ll kill you myself.”

Shinsou laughed awkwardly, not sure whether to be scared at your dad's threat or not, especially when he ended it without another word, turning and walking towards their car.

I mean at least he spoke to him, right? That’s an improvement?

Either way, Shinsou quickly realized in reality the only opinion that mattered to him, was yours.

oof having a good dad who cares about you? couldnt be me. also i absolutely hate this one and idk why, but shinsou’s my bby and i feel i disappointed him

---

🍗 Keigo Takami (Hawks):

The meeting was almost completely by chance. Keigo often took you on sky-high (not mile-high get your minds outta the gutters ppl) trips on his off days, and while flying one day, you saw your parents' house from the clouds. They hadn’t met Keigo yet, so you suggested that you pop in for a moment. He agreed, and in seconds, you were standing on their porch, hand raised high to ring the doorbell.

Your mother opened the door, surprised to see you, and even more surprised to see the bird standing behind you. Nevertheless she invited you both in, and as your father called Keigo over, your mother pulled you to one side, whispering quiet enough that the two men wouldn’t hear her.

“The news says he’s a bit of a playboy.” You said.

“The news says a lot of things.” You rolled your eyes.

“And his fans?” She asked.

“What about them?” You replied.

“Well,” she paused, “he can get a little friendly with them, don’t you think.”

You sighed. Your mother wasn’t the first person to bring up Keigo’s fans when discussing your relationship, but you knew that in reality, he couldn’t be bothered with the swarms of people throwing themselves at his feet when he had you waiting for him at home.

“He’s a friendly person.” You shrugged.

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Just say what you want to, mom.” You rounded on her, the heightened volume of your voice drawing Keigo’s attention from the other side of the room. “Say it. Go on.”

She glanced around, seeing both Keigo and your father now watching the two of you.

“Fine.” You continued. “I know he has hundreds of fans who would kill to be in his bed at night. But you know what? He’s not there. He’s with me, watching crappy tv and binge eating kfc (CANNIBALISM). If you don’t like him, that’s your problem. But don’t try and convince me to do anything but love him, cause you’re not going to do it.”

Baffled, your mother stammered for a response, but you weren’t about to wait for one.

“C’mon Keigo,” you called, “we’re leaving.”

He was next to you in moments, and you grabbed his hand to pull him out of the house, stopping only when you were satisfied you were out of sight of your parents.

“So, kid…” He looked across at you with a smirk, wrapping an arm around your waist as he lay his chin on your shoulder. “You love me?”

“Shut up bird brain.”

again i hate this but where my baby birds at?

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugou #hitoshi shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinsou #bnha shinsou #hawks x reader #hawks #bnha hawks #keigo takami x reader #keigo takami #bnha keigo #mha x reader

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enderspawn · 3 years

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so now that we’ve had a few days since the syndicate stream, i think ive managed to cool down and step back to look at it more neutrally. ended up long and pretty rambly since its all pretty flow of consciousness so its under the cut, but heres some thoughts on the syndicate (and a bit on c!techno, since hes the originator)

in universe, techno has only just heard a new place was made. he doesn’t know jack abt it, so he goes over to check it out and learn whats happening. he meets w tubbo, who explains they arent a gov, and accepts it then goes. hes hesitant abt the nukes, but frankly? also understandable, they are nukes. any kind of mass weapon of destruction is something to look out for, same as if tubbo revealed his own wither vault.

i think the reason that i, and many other ppl, had such a NEGATIVE reaction to what is a mainly harmless and completely reasonable interaction is. well, bc we’re the audience. we KNOW more than c!techno does. we know that snowchester very explicitly was formed without a government because they’re afraid of techno attacking. we know that the nukes are made to defend them, based off what happened to lmanberg. we know that ranboo joined partially to try and spare snowchester if worst came to worst.

the reason we the audience were afraid of him going is bc we feared what would happen if he DID deem it a gov. bc we know the effort they’ve done to NOT be one, bc we have a connection to the town that c!techno doesnt.

after then came calling the syndicate/techno tyrannical. after all- if they strike down every government then they are forcing ppl to follow their beliefs under threat of destruction or death. which is uhh pretty fucking tyrannical.

the thing is that in the end the syndicate hasnt even done enough for us to like. KNOW if thats true. techno himself said hes totally fine w just group of people living together, hell hes in a damn SYNDICATE. you can def argue in general abt what gives the syndicate the right at all to decide if a gov deserves to exist, if being “”the deciders”” makes them inherently hypocritical. (this also is pushing that “they decide” bc, well, w the exception of tubbo now, theres very little chance the other ppl would win against techno and crew. it Would just be decimation. if they attack, they’re destroying it all).

after all, they preach abt giving ppl the right to choose but then dont let them choose to form a gov. paradox of tolerance i suppose, since in anarchistic views there isnt like a “non-corrupt” government so every government is worth dismantling. (note, this is all based off my p limited understanding of anarchy theory and also Very Simplified for ease of speaking)

another reason we the audience may have been so afraid is bc, historically, techno doesnt lose. he may suffer personal losses and feelings of betrayal, but narratively hes won every battle hes really been in. its the status quo, so any possible conflict in the future you kind of expect the same. we were afraid of any kind of conflict starting.

i think this stuff does kinda work in character too. c!tubbo admits himself he doesnt rlly know government stuff, and he doesnt seem to really know what techno would or wouldnt DEEM one- thus he has a similar fear to the audience of being struck down for it. ranboo, like stated before, partially joined bc he was afraid FOR snowchester.

again i get that anarchy is against that greater establishment, but theres something to be said for the fact that. well. this is a block game. its systems work a LOT differently than real life, and real life anarchist theory may not transfer over well. there are a lot of good posts ive seen recently analysing lmanberg (specifically early lmanberg) and like. it genuinely worked to protect its citizens. they were able to pool together their resources and man power and protect each other from outside threats that would overpower them seperately. there IS no big overarching societal and deeply built in system to overthrow like in real life, if anything “having a government” IS the new system trying to form instead of anarchy (bc, to my knowledge, lmanberg was the first real “government” and the dream smp’s gov kinda formed as a response) it could def be another reason so many ppl are against enforcing anarchy-- this isnt the real world, and being in solidified groups could help the weak. without that, instead its the strongest survive and thrive while everyone else suffers.

(then again to devils advocate my own point, a lot of times they’re referring in those posts to a time where wilbur, who was actually “in charge” wasnt around a ton, so there was less of a power structure in place. also, you CAN still have a group of ppl without being a “gov” (like snowchester or the syndicate) but then we get back to “what is a gov by the syndicate’s standards” as well as if they want to remove a gov at its start or JUST when it seems “tyrannical” (so if they believe a gov is inherently tyrannical). like if i started a direct democracy gov and explicitly called it a gov, do you take it down? its taking the opinion of all citizens and allows everyone equal power. is that corrupt just bc its ALSO a gov, or does it get to stay? where is the line? idk man maybe give the gov like a free trial. if it starts being corrupt then step in but if they’re vibin they’re vibin. chill w the anarchy /lh /hj JFKDLSJF)

idk man this isnt fully conclusion imo i just wanted to long think abt this. also fuck this block game for getting into legit political theory and ethics and shit. “is someone valid in doing something for another person that they believe will help the other person if it limits their personal freedom” (or, is techno correct in enforcing anarchy bc he believes it is the best form for ppl, EVEN at the cost of their personal freedoms to make a gov) is too deep to be asking for a fuckin block potato pig. this is why i dont do a ton of discourse im just stupid and it starts getting philosophical at some point FDSKLFJ

yall can respond w your own thoughts to this if you want, even debate it!, but idk if ill respond bc uhhhh Brain Empty fdjsklfj i just wanted to ramble and sort out my own thoughts on the matter now that im not uber pissed at c!techno JFKDLSJFKL

#dream smp #mcyt #techno #its not really critical??? but like you Could take it that way #i try to be more neutral #or like. less anti-techno bc i know the day of the stream i was PISSED fjdsklfj #idk man this block game conflicts start coming down to real ass philosophical debates and i op out #'was techno valid in destroying lmanberg?' no bc i liked it :(( THERE discourse ended im right /lh #og post #(jeb bush voice) please clap

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twinvictim · 3 years

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your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

#entries #silent hill #long post #thank u thank you #ill try tk put a cut in here at some poitn hold on srry

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themoonsbeloved · 3 years

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From the post about twst fandom. I really agree with it. I have a feeling the fandom can be so much better. I was talking with my friend if twst were bigger, like say Genshin. Bc rn we are a small fandom. I am kind of in the Genshin fandom with some friends who love it. I don’t really see that weird side of it. I wish twst fandom were like and more fun for everyone without the negative. I get so weirded out seeing the nsfw side because it’s like “No. Please no.”. I can’t do anything about it then to block or ignore. I forget there would be blogs like that at times. It somewhat ruined the whole look of twst for me... Because it’s still such a fun game and it got me to be happy before bc I lost some of my relatives during COVID. It got me to get my mind off from it and to keep going forward. It’s just is sad. But I keep trying to look at the good side and be aware of the bad. Trying to get the wholesome look twst. Sorry if my vent sounds ridiculous and stupid but it’s how I feel. This is also someone who is 21. Also sorry if my eng is bad.

Your english is superb, no worries.

You should continue sticking with the things that make you happy about twst or any other media you're into for your own wellbeing. Also I'm really sorry for your loss and hope you continue to do things that help you move forward.

Also yeah from what I can see from mutuals who are/have been part of much larger fandoms I think its easier to not have to come across horrible things as constantly as you would in a small fandom, which means not having to see every third post with racist subtext or racist ocs, or a blog posting nsfw about minors, or fetishizing mlm relationships. But obviously it doesn't mean these things are less likely in large fandoms, every fandom has this problem. The larger the fandom the more people can get away with it I guess.

I think for me its just the amount of times I've seen twst fans write the stupidest things with the most confidence I've ever seen lol, usually on issues regarding race and racism. And then make themselves the victim when called out that they don't know anything, when they've clearly exposed themselves on the internet to have zero knowledge on issues they are trying to talk about. The catch is that they come out of the woodworks when someone actually brings up an issue about the fandom in the main tags, but other than that its radio silence. I truly do not think the people who do this have anyone in their best interest except to make themselves feel better and to deflect the blame and responsibility for "toxic fandom problemz" onto others, who again just so happen to be the minorities in the fandom.

Like I didn't really have respect for the fandom before, but now I'm just like you can't tell me to respect any of you because you've all shown me time and time again with the anon harrassment, the attacks on my posts from white ppl (especially white women), that you don't deserve it. I can't live off being civil and constantly having to explain why certain things directly harm me and my identity as a minority, with people who have social power and privilege over me on online spaces, because they choose to be selfish and ignorant.

#twst racism #twst chats #nor am i google for u to come and ask #or demand #how to not be racist or why secualising minors is bad

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shizzlinghotbrason · 3 years

Text

ok so nearly everyone in the fandom is doing this and as sad as it is that we need to remind these simple things to people, I feel the need to talk about this too.

I won't make this too painfully long because I know y'all most likely already know this and I just wanna put out a basic list of shit you should always follow in the fandom. But for those who don't, a lot of fan content creators, be it artists or writers or just general fans trying to enjoy their time, have been leaving/quitting the fandom.

Why are they leaving, you ask? Toxicity. Toxicity nearly everywhere. People can't hold respectful debates or discourses on interesting topics regarding characters/the books/ships anymore without someone toxicly stating that only their opinion is correct, and going off on anyone who has different opinions carried with a lot of aggressive, rude and shallow behaviour. Fanartists have gotten death threats and are scared of drawing art for the Riordanverse without getting anxious af.

Now the thing is, having done those (eXcepT for the death threats) doesn't automatically make u an entirely shitty person. Maybe you made a mistake and came off as rude without rlly meaning to. That's okay. Here's how to identify if u ever did so, and to change that behaviour. Again, it's okay to make mistakes, but we rn as a fandom srsly need to try to turn things around.

Some basic shit you should remember being a part of the fandom:

• NO NSFW STUFF WITH MINORS!!! That means fanarts, fanfics etc. But here's the shocking thing- when someone does this, you can actually hold them accountable WITHOUT SENDING DEATH THREATS AND CROSSING THE BOUNDARIES! Cuz doing that only makes YOU stoop just as low. Pl e a s e remember that always and be respectful whatever you do.

• That being said, ppl are allowed to write nsfw stuff IF said characters are aged up, aka 18+. Ofc, it's a must that they put a content warning beforehand because many people may not want to read that. BUT, if you don't want to read it and if they've aged up the characters so nothing's morally wrong or gross, then please do NOT hate the author in the comments, do NOT report their post/account. Seriously dude, they gave warnings, if you don't want to read it just scroll past it's not that hard. Unless it's with minors, you shouldn't be reporting innocent ppl's accounts like that.

• one thing that I've seen a lack of in the fandom are trigger warnings. I've seen several fics whose covers are literally of blood. And entire chapters were written with intricate graphic descriptions yet with no trigger warnings or a tw wayyy down in the caption. you never know what may be triggering to someone if a lot of ppl see ur content but the least u can do is put trigger warnings on the most common stuff. I get that it may look aesthetically matching if it's a murder mystery sorta fic but isn't the well being of people more important?

• look I'm not saying you're not allowed to have opinions, but the problem is when you start treating your opinions like facts. I can't count the times I've seen someone state their opinion like it's facts and then trash on other's for having a different opinion. PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS. Stop attacking people for liking Jason more than Percy or vice versa, there's no rule that you absolutely have to like one or the other, ppl can like who they want. When you're stating UR opinion, it would be nice if you used stuff like "I personally think that..." or "... that's just my opinion" because again, Ur opinion is just that, not a fact.

• if you can't have discourses or discussions about certain topics respectfully and nicely then don't have them. if someone's done nothing wrong but state their opinions and you don't like it, don't go attacking them. if you don't have anything good to say, shut up and just scroll past. it's not that hard. we don't need any more negativity in the fandom. If you feel like you're about to snap, mute or block the account you don't like and move on with life. But for the love of GOD don't go out of your way to be agresive or hateful to ppl. They have feelings too and run fan accounts for fun, not to get upset and hurt.

• when a fan account owner has made a post saying what they think of a certain topic, and you comment saying you think they're wrong and they reply that you didn't get the point of their post, then chances are you most probably actually did not understand what they were saying. when this happens, pls don't go on forcing ur opinion onto them as if you got what they meant when you didn't. Maybe next time when someone says you didn't get what they were saying, ask them nicely to explain it to you instead of going off like that?

• firstly, shame on you if you've ever run a hate account. just why? how much more negativity do you want to add? if you come across a hate account please please report it and block it and tell your friends to do the same. if you're targeted in a hate post, I'm so sorry, please know that they're shallow ppl just trying to make you feel shitty, you're dont have a trashy fan account; what they say is false and done purely to spite. report and block them.

• I know Rick has written a lot of racist bullcrap and hasn't batted an eye when we complained about them, but that still doesn't give you the right to send him death threats. Again, no death threats to anyone, yikes.

• don't use fanart that's racist. don't repost them either. Piper has feathers in it? don't repost it. also if you can't exactly and properly credit artists, don't repost their art saying "credits to the artist". I've done that before too but now I understand that's not right.

• also, while we're at it, can we all please universally agree on non-racist fanon stuff and get rid of racist canon stuff? like Piper and feathers, and piper & hazel with colourful and golden eyes, Piper's stupid not like other girls behaviour, and all the other bullshit Rick has put into the books. We as a fandom don't accept it and pretend they do not exist, no racism in this place 🥰‼️

• ppl are allowed to have their own headcannons, it doesn't matter what's cannon. Don't go "but in the books it's.." because in the books there's a lot of shit, and besides, if someone wants to headcannon Percy as brown? black? totally alright! they're allowed to do so! don't go bUt pErCy iSnT pOc iN tHe bOoKs. same goes with sexualities and etc headcannons. as long as they're not erasing the already representation of a minority, it's okay to have headcannons of your own. Like Hazel is canonically black and we should respect that and bring out the best of that, yk what I mean?

That's all I have to say for now. I'm usually a very light-hearted cursed meme account on here but things are getting out of hand. I was wanting to make my 8 yr old brother get into the Riordanverse fandom but seeing the situation of the fandom rn scares me. We need to think about the kids in the future who'll be in this fandom, whose lives will be changed and shaped by these books. Surely, the older people in the fandom before us would be utterly disappointed at what it's become and it's our job to constantly look out for the fandom.

If you're leaving/have left the fandom, I'm so sorry that it got to that point, but ur wellbeing comes first, do what you feel is necessary to feel better, all of us send lots of positive vibes towards your way! and to the peeps who've still decided to stay in the fandom and use their account to talk about this issue, I cannot express how thankful I am of you for doing such an important thing right now. And to everyone - as Harry Styles once said - treat people with kindness.

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gunnerpalace · 4 years

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Hi! Same anon as the previous one. Tbh, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Y'see I do ask rhetorically,too but i could really accept and understand how and why ppl can be oblivious to IchiRuki, and somehow felt that the 'canon' should suffice, even the most excruciating of all is the fact a number found the ending even acceptable (ships aside, too). Again, I could respect that. But it's my greatest bane when ppl ask 'why' and not be clear they are asking rhetorically because I literally will

provide you an actual answer. And I get it, it’s the reason why ppl find shipping wars toxic and silly. But then again, as human, conflicts are always part of us (partly because as social psych explains so, we are gravitated to the negative for that allows us to change and survive), and the reason why “logical fallacies” are coined in the first place. Human will always debate, and argue about something; the only thing we could change is how we approach the opposing views.

Again, I dont condone any way, shape or form of abuse and harm. In some certain extent, I could perhaps understand it’s much harder for some IH to approach the actual argument being there’s either too much noise, and trapped in their own island between sea of salt. Thus becoming too acquianted w/ few IH who shared the same thought until it became their views as the only truth (see, that’s why its important to have debates! it is what keep us grounded and fair! Just like you said)

Who am I to speak though? I never ever challenged anyone anyways. And as you said, you just have to understand things in every way you could possibly think of–endless ‘whys’. Which is where I agree in your reply the most–this silly fandom wars is just the black mirror to every truth that lies beneath human psyche–the dark and the grimy. Heck, being a psych major is like staring at dark hole–at times, good, but most just plain confusing, revolting even or just heartbreaking.

Sorry it’s been long, but for the final of this ask: let me tell how glad I was with IchiRuki fandom I found in tumblr. It was the saltiest I’ve ever been (im not generally a fandom person anyways) but it’s the himalayan salt–expensive and actually nutritive it really deepened my desire to become wiser in general. And you for your wonderful essays, critiques and whatnot. I definitively would love to talk with you more not only about IchiRuki but the wonders and nightmare that us humans! Kudos!

I have sitting in my drafts a post spelling out my thoughts on “canon” (and thus, the people who cling to it) in that as a concept it privileges:

officiality over quality when it comes to validity (thus violating Sturgeon’s law)

corporations (intellectual property rights holders) over fans, and thus capitalists over proletarians

hierarchical dominance over mutualist networking within fandom

curative fandom over transformative fandom

genre over literary content

plot over characters

events over emotions

It is notable that (1) generally degrades art as a whole, (2) generally advances the capitalist agenda, and (3–7) generally advances the dominance of men over women (as the genders tend to be instructed by society to view these as A. dichotomies rather than spectrums, and B. to ascribe gender to them and make them polarities). These form the sides of a mutually reinforcing power structure (in the typical “Iron Triangle” fashion) designed to preserve and maintain the status quo.

Who really benefits from say, the policing of what is or is not “canon” in Star Wars? Disney, first and foremost. And then whomever (almost certainly male) decides to dedicate their time to memorizing the minutiae of whatever that corporation has decided is “legitimate.”

One can imagine a universe in which fan fic is recognized by companies for what it is: free advertising. (Much like fan art already is.) Instead, it is specifically targeted by demonetization efforts in a way that fan art isn’t. Why? Because it demonstrates that corporate control and “official” sanction has no bearing on quality, and it is thus viewed as undermining the official products.

In the same way, by demonstrating that most “canonical” works are frankly shit, it undermines the investiture of fans in focusing on details that are ultimately errata (the events, the plot, the genre), which is the core function of curative fandom and the reason for its hierarchical structure. The people who “know the most” are at the top, but what they “know” is basically useless garbage. And those people so-engaged are, of course, usually male.

To “destroy” the basis of their credibility, and indeed the very purpose of their community, is naturally viewed by them as an attack.

(This is not to say that efforts to tear down internal consistency within established cultural properties are good unto themselves, or even desirable. For example, efforts to redefine properties such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Ghostbusters, for the sake of a identity-politics agenda have largely A. failed as art, B. failed as entertainment, C. failed to attract the supposedly intended audience, and D. failed to advance the agenda in question. Trying to repurpose extant media in the name of culture wars is essentially always doomed to failure unless it is done deftly and gradually.)

(At the same time, this also shows what I was talking about last time, with regard to people seeing whatever they want to see. You will see people complain that Star Trek and Doctor Who didn’t “used to be so political,” which is obviously nonsense. These shows were always political. What changed was how their politics were presented. For example, Star Trek has, since TNG, always shown a nominally socialist or outright communist future, but was beloved by plenty of conservatives because they could [somehow] ignore that aspect of it.)

Of course, almost no one is seriously suggesting that one side of the spectrums outlined above be destroyed, rather merely that a new balance be struck upon the spectrum. But, as we have seen time and again in society, any threat to the status quo, whether that be 20% of Hugo Awards going to non-white male authors or the top income tax rate in America being increased by a measly 5.3% (from 28.7% to 34%… when the all-time high was 94% and for over 50 years it was above 50%) is a threat. This is why, for example, Republicans are out there branding AOC as a “socialist” when her policies are really no different at all from a 1960 Democrat who believed in FDR’s New Deal. (Which they, of course, have also demonized as “socialism.”)

(As an aside, all this ignores the fact that most of the “literary canon” of Western civilization, or at least English literature… is Biblical or historical fan fic.)

And this is when I finally get to my point.

Those people out there who denigrate and mock shippers and shipping, the people who hurl “it reads like fan fiction” as an insult, and so on, are the people who benefit from and enjoy the extant power structure. You will see the same thing with self-identified “gamers” complaining about “fake girl gamers.” Admitting that the hobby has a lot of women in it, and a lot of “casuals,” and is indeed increasingly dominated by “non-traditional demographics” is an affront to the constructed identity of being a “gamer.” They are “losing control.” And they don’t like it.

This exact same sort of population is what the “fanbase” of Bleach has been largely reduced down to through a slow boiling off of any actual quality. Of course they’re dismissive of people who are looking for anything of substance: their identity, their “personal relationship” with the franchise, is founded on a superficial appreciation of it: things happening, flashy attacks, eye-catching character designs, fights, etc.

(What this really boils down to, at heart, is that society at large has generally told men that emotions are bad, romance and relationships of all kinds are gross, and that thinking and reflecting on things is stupid. So of course they not only don’t care about such things, but actively sneer at them as “girly” or “feminine,” which is again defined by society at large as strictly inferior. And this gender divide and misogyny is of course promulgated and reinforced by the powers that be, the capitalists, to facilitate class divisions just like say racism generally is.)

(The latest trick of these corporate overlords has been the weaponization of “woke” culture to continue to play the people off one another all the time. “If you don’t like this [poorly written, dimensionless Mary Sue] Strong Female Character, then you are a racist misogynist!” They are always only ever playing both sides for profit, not advancing an actual ideological position. It is worth noting that there was a push by IH some years ago to define IR as “anti-feminist” for critiquing Orihime for essentially the exact same reasons [admittedly, not for profit, but still as critical cover].)

Which makes it very curious, therefore, that the most ardent IH supporters tend to be women. (Though there are more than a few men, they seem to tend to support it because it is “canon” and to attack it is to attack “canon” and thus trigger all of the above, rather than out of any real investment.) I think there are a number of reasons for this (which I have detailed before) and at any rate it is not particularly surprising; 53% of white women voted for Trump, after all.

What we are really seeing in fandom, are again the exact same dynamics that we see at larger and larger scales, for the exact same reasons. The stakes are smaller, but the perception of the power struggle is exactly the same.

Of course, the people who are involved in these things rarely think to interrogate themselves as to the true dimensions and root causes of their motivations. People rarely do that in general.

Putting all that aside, I’m glad that you have found a place you enjoy and feel comfortable, and thank you for the kind words, although I am not of the opinion that there is anything poignant about the non-fiction I write. It is, as I keep trying to emphasize, all there to be seen. One just has to open their eyes. So, it’s hard for me to accept appreciation of it.

Anyway, don’t feel shy about coming off of anon rather than continuing to send asks. We don’t really bite.

#Asks

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peantbuttr · 4 years

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meet ASTRID NILSSEN, the twenty three year old waitress who moved to dayton three months ago. she’s known as playful & selfish in equal parts. astrid uses she/her pronouns & identifies as bisexual.

hello all !! i’m tea, and i’m in the discord chat if y’all wanna plot or talk !! astrid and i are excited to be here !! sorry this got a lil long. hopefully it’s okay kjgsfgs

i do have severe rape trigger, so while we’re all adults here, please warn me before mentioning and/or refrain from going into detail about plots involving these things so i can manage my shit, you know? you do you, but i also do me, and i just don’t have enough booze to field a panic attack today fgkdfgsg

otherwise pls hit me up and plot. i’m a shy person but if you want plots, i’ll bust my booty to get em for you : ‘)

* / intro. 💋

name: astrid nilssen

nicknames: n/a, but if someone gave her one she’d fucking melt

age, bday: 23, june 7th

zodiac: gemini

sexuality: bisexual, no preference

gender: female, using she/her pronouns

character traits: flighty, playful, aggressive, intelligent, creative, ambitious, spoiled, selfish

alignment: chaotic neutral, esfp, slytherin

* / past. 💋

tw verbal abuse, age gap, abortion

born in europe from a loveless marriage between a well-bred british socialite and the young heir of an american corporate dynasty, astrid spent most of her life jumping between boarding schools and holidays foisted off on either set of grandparents

all this served to do was isolate her more: she couldn’t fit in with european girls, and she wasn’t familiar enough with america to fit in there either. the isolation grew.

her grandparents didn’t love her any more than her parents did – old money with old values, they ridiculed her for being not skinny enough, too skinny, not pretty enough, too girlish, too stupid, too smart – nothing she did was enough… nothing she did would ever be enough

their constant demanding and belittling left astrid bitter, tired and constantly trying to do better, so much so that it was exhausting, and she felt like she was tiptoeing over glass

she hardly ever saw her parents, let alone saw them within the same room as one another – and quickly she learned that the easiest way to get positive attention was to demand it. she grew from acting out in class to shoplifting to getting high during the school days

each time she got a final warning from yet another school, her parents would show up, lavish her in gifts to bribe her into obeisance, and for once astrid would feel loved

it escalated and escalated, however, as astrid started pushing further and further in order to earn what she craved, the attention & validation from her family that drove her to just about every extreme she could think of

so it’s no wonder that astrid, a narcissistic little daredevil, fell in love with the first person that showed her the attention she craved. within six months she was devoted to her partner: a much older, and much more controlling person than she’d ever imagined herself with.

it lost its shine, however, when astrid found out she was pregnant just after turning twenty two. she panicked. she knew somewhere in her that she could not trust her partner to take care of her, and she knew that she could not be, and desperately didn’t want to be, a mother.

so she got an abortion. to hide it from her controlling parents, she bought herself expensive trinkets and sold them at pawn shops, and afterwards, nothing felt the same.

it opened her eyes -- and, after withdrawing several thousand dollars from her trust fund, she disappeared and left home to find a future in dayton.

* / present. 💋

of course her parents keep tabs on her: she sees familiar faces lurking outside her apartment almost daily. still, no one has harassed her yet, and at the moment that’s all she can hope for.

although starting fresh and without a constant family fortune to guide her, so far she’s found working to be mostly agreeable. she waits tables at a little dive club in dayton, using her girlish charm to wiggle tips out of even the most tight-fingered bastard

she’s still selfish and wild, difficult to control, and interested in little else but her next thrill. hell only accentuated her headstrong unruliness, and this is sure to be a problem for her.

muleheaded and relentless, when she gets her teeth in something and decides she likes it, it’s almost impossible to get her to let go.

still, one can earn a semblance of comfort and friendship with her, as much as any narcissist can offer; she’s endlessly loyal to those who earn it, and although her capacity for true effortless kindness has never been nurtured, she makes a needy, protective and attentive friend

* / specific wanted plots. 💋

an old and familiar friend — she leads an isolating life, though somehow has found a relic of her tumultuous past. this person knew her as a spoiled little rich girl, and knows her now adjusting to hard work and the realities of life as an average person - open to any gender

a mentor — rarely does astrid trust anyone with asking for advice and help in her life. still, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and has been raised in a guilded cage: she has to open up to someone and ask what the fuck she’s supposed to do with her taxes. this person is the most trusted friend and ally she has, and the only person who has so far been allowed to see that she really is still just a scared little girl in need of attention - open to any gender, though preferably a little older / more experienced in life than she is

* / plot ideas. 💋

sexual

i’m open to literally anything .... the standard fwb, hookups & one night stands

ppl who want a tiny, angry girl to boss them around idk

u need a wlw eightball? astrid is here to help

u need a third to spice things up with ur girl? astrid is here to help

someone she’s uhhh trading favors with cause she’s got Ambition and one of them is a lot of money of her own

romantic

hedonism is her jam so there’s only a few of these i’m putting down

although yooo imagine the drama if someone objectively better than her did catch her eye.... nice

unrequited crush — someone astrid caught feelings for and knows they don’t feel the same. she’s trying to work through it, but this person gives her butterflies, she can’t help it. highly undignified for her. wtf is this feeling, get it away from her - /lays down reverse card — someone who wants some angst in the form of unrequited feelings for a tiny brat. unwise, but it happens

break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored — a friend to whom astrid played side-chick while they figured out shit with their girl... then made the mistake of getting attached. it’s going to end terribly, she knows, but why not enjoy it while it lasts?

platonic

other people who work in the service industry like a co-workers / boss (still deciding where she works, so if ur muse needs an employee hmu ok), people she’s met at a bar, people she’s known for years somehow, etc.

yin to yang ; someone who is calm and shy, matching astrid’s small, fight-me, wild child energy and balancing her out. astrid’s not sure what she should do with them, but also can’t stop bothering them

heart-to-heart friend ; someone who sees through all of astrid bullshit, aggression and drama and sees that even through the dramatic haze of brattiness and selfishness , she’s genuinely fuckin... sad underneath it all. they don’t take her shit and coax honesty out of her

ex roommate ; someone whose couch she crashed on when she first arrived, before she got herself her own place. she probably didn’t really ask before deciding she was staying with them and tbh prob was annoying as hell. so it could be a fun connection

negative ; someone who hates her and has tried to fuck her shit up, someone she’s had a falling out with, someone she was Too Mean To, someone she plays mean pranks on, someone who annoys the shit out of her, oo even an ex could exist.... idk fuck me up fam

#reallife.intro #— * / 𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖉 ♡ ﹙development﹚#— * / 𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖉 ♡ ﹙character﹚#IS THIS GOOD ILL NEVER KNOW

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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years

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i saw your tags on the song related to Zayn's interview and his recent British Vogue Interview. I am not Muslim to preface this so with that in mind, I don't think his personal religious choices are really anyone's business. Nor do I think he was disrespectful. I have been saddened by a lot of comments under his posts, his family members SM and elsewhere discussing him though and I wish I could have a conversation with someone without it turning into "What do you know, you aren't Muslim".

yeah that’s honestly why i’ve felt like whenever i talked about it before i had to preface it with letting ppl know i was raised muslim (since a lot of ppl don’t know that about me since i don’t talk about it much on here and i’m not wearing a hijab or dressed conservatively in the few selfies i’ve shared) so i don’t have ppl jumping down my throat with that exact same argument but like regardless of what ppl’s faith is i don’t understand how they can read what he said and come away from it thinking he’s shitting on islam/muslims or being pretentious…

like i can understand to some degree muslims being a little hurt by it just b/c he no longer believes the same way they do but outside of that i don’t see what there is to get to offended or upset by b/c because if you pay attention to zayn’s actual words everything started with “I feel” and “I believe” and “for me.” it’s very clear to me that he’s talking specifically about himself and where he (and he alone) stands with islam and with religion as a person at this precise moment in time, he’s not launching some personal attack on all muslims or saying they’re stupid or that what they believe or how they choose to practice is stupid. he’s just saying he doesn’t necessarily believe or ascribe to all those things at this current point in his life (and there’s nothing wrong with that) and that’s not to say that he’s lost any respect for people (like his family and his fans) who do still believe it or ascribe to it or that he looks down on them in any kind of way because if you look at his actual words he never said anything to that degree and tbh i think a lot of people are projecting and inferring negative things where there weren’t any (possibly cause they’re so used to being vilified and immediately went on the defense which again as a muslim and a minority i understand to some degree but i think it’s important to remember that just b/c someone says they no longer believe in something doesn’t mean they hate it or have lost all respect for it or think they’re above it or won’t ever go back to it).

as zayn said each person’s relationship (or lackthereof) with god is their own and it shouldn’t really be anyone else’s business what you do and don’t do, or what you or do and don’t believe. furthermore, you can choose to no longer believe in something or to no longer subscribe to certain edicts within it and still have profound respect for it and for the people that do. in fact that’s exactly where i stand currently with my own faith, as i consider myself non-practicing atm and don’t really subscribe anymore to some of the things taught within islam but i still have profound respect and love for those that do (including my friends and family) and always will, and having been raised in it, still feel a deep sense of connection to the religion and to all those still practicing (as i’m sure zayn does as well). i still fast and celebrate ramadan and eid and go to the mosque occasionally and give the greetings and will always stand in solidarity with my muslim brothers and sisters but just b/c i am no longer ensconced in the faith or believe everything that’s taught within doesn’t mean i look down on the religion itself or on those who practice it and i think the same is true of zayn (and as i believe has been evidenced by him sharing that song).

#asks #anons #zayn #british vogue #my thoughts #i may get hate for this #but whatever #i'm tired of only seeing one-sided perspectives on this

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strawberry-milktea · 6 years

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I don't want to socialize. I don't like it. I don't even want a huge group of friends--maybe a couple I feel comfortable with. I don't want a bf til I can be independent. I do want to move out and have my own space. And I want a fulfiling job. That is my dream. Specifically to write and fight injustice like terrorism, human trafficking, abuse (no idea how to do that). Never wanted to be conventional. Have a pet sitting "business" - always hard to talk to clients, rather be w animals. I have a ha

I have a hard time trusting God because I do not want to do things I don’t like. I want to do the things I want to do for a living; God wants me to do something social. Anyone who is not good at social things is less in the eyes of God and everyone else. I do NOT want to have such a shameful weakness- I mean, afraid of people? How stupid. But I would rather be alone and read, write etc most of the time. I like it better that being w ppl. But God wants us to love ppl and be w them all the time

I mean, you have to be good at social things to be successful, to have a job. If you aren’t, you have to make up for it in a LOT of skills of other kinds. Which I don’t have. I do not want a walmart job- but couldn’t even do that, much less what I want to do–something to do with national security etc. I

If God wants me to change and be social, then that IS where my value lies and I am not valuable like this.

Had internship after school but they fired me bc I was too nervous and couldn’t do the job. W public defender. Had to interview ppl in jail and ask them questions from a sheet. There was a math question on it. Could not figure it out. They gave me a book to learn it but I could not concentrate w ppl around. Math+social? Impossible. Same w vol this summer- messed up change bc customer talking to me. Don’t know what I actually have ability to do… :( cant be at parents forever.

I don’t want to be weak. I want to be strong. I want to use my strengths to glorify God. Ppl using their strengths in a job, their talents, will make both them and others happy bc it will simply be a better product. Who wants to read a book by a bad author, for example?

I have asked God for help. To get me a job. Make me do things. He did not help me.

—

Hi there,

Personally speaking, I’m not big on socializing. I’m the type of person who enjoys spending time with people who I am close with and trust.. and that’s only a handful of people. If I’m comfortable with you, I can keep talking for a long time and I genuinely enjoy it! But if I’m not comfortable with someone and/or it’s just surface small talk, it can start to feel like interacting becomes a chore or it can feel a bit awkward. I also get drained and anxious feeling pretty quickly in settings with large crowds. I’m an introvert and it sounds like you are too - and introversion is definitely not something inherently negative or wrong. But the concern here regarding your situation is it seems like your introversion is related to a lot of deep-seated fears (which if I recall correctly, are linked to past hurts) and it’s interfering with your life in a way that is making you unhappy. And it’s definitely clear that the enemy is preying on this by doing a number on your self-confidence and feeding you the lie that you aren’t valuable or loved by God if socializing is a challenge for you.

Your claim that “anyone who is not good at social things is less in the eyes of God and everyone else” is not Biblical. God’s love for us is proven by the fact that He died on the cross to make the free gift of salvation through faith in Christ possible. The Word also tells us that we become righteous in His eyes as a result of accepting Christ so that our sins are washed away and we become white as snow.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” - 2 Corinthians 5:21

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” - Isaiah 1:18

There is no reason to believe that God loves you less or thinks of you as lesser because socializing is difficult for you. That’s a flat out lie from the enemy meant to attack your confidence and weaken your faith in God. You’re correct when you say God wants us to always love others. However, it is inaccurate to say God expects us to be around people all the time. One example that proves God does not expect this is that we are told to pray in private and spend time alone with the Father (Matthew 6:6). We are not commanded to be in the presence of others 24/7 nor is always being around people socializing a requirement to fulfill the command of to loving others.

Socializing does serve various purposes that can help both yourself and others, and glorify Him. One example of this is carrying out the Great Commission. Communicating with others is how we tell people about Christ. However, you don’t have to be the strong at verbally talking in order to socialize and communicate with others. He can use the areas you do have strengths in to serve others. And at the same time, He can help you get stronger at the areas of socializing you aren’t so strong at - but you have to allow Him to do that work in you. If you completely shut yourself off to the idea of doing things outside of your comfort zone, He won’t force His help upon you.

Using myself as an example, I am definitely stronger at articulating myself about matters of faith in writing versus verbally speaking. Sometimes I get nervous verbally speaking and the enemy likes to attack my confidence in these moments. I believe that He allowed for me to use this blog as a means of carrying out the Great Commission because a strength of mine lies in written communication. But at the same time, He’s put me in situations of verbally talking to people about faith to show me that even though communicating verbally isn’t my strongest area, He provides the perfect words and the nervousness melts away when you trust and allow Him to work in you.

Another example relating to your situation about work concerns is that when I first started working, I was terrified to answer the phones. I was so afraid of sounding silly and talking to a stranger on the other end of the line. However, I made peace with the fact that this is a big part of my job. And it certainly felt awkward at first because it was outside of my comfort zone. But when I kept doing it, it became something I do without a second thought - and it feels really nice when I think about how nervous I used to feel over it and how now it’s really not much of a big deal. I sometimes still get moments where fumble over my words a little because like I said, verbal communication isn’t one of my strongest areas. I don’t think I’ll ever feel as much ease handling work phone calls as I do when say talking to a family member or a friend. But that’s okay - I don’t need to be perfect at articulating myself or feel comfort as if the person on the other end of the line is my best friend in order to get my job done. Likewise, you don’t have to demand a level of perfection of yourself in socializing in order to be functional at the job that He wants for you.

What is so important to understand is that when you ask God for help, you have to be willing to accept that help. He won’t force you or make you do something.. you’ve admitted that you don’t want to do things that you don’t want to. So if you’ve made up your mind that you can’t socialize, it’s impossible for it to be any other way, and you won’t keep trying at it, He won’t make you do something differently. You have freewill.. and if you use your freewill to be stubborn and refuse for Him to work in you because you’re afraid and/or don’t want to do things outside of your comfort zone, He will respect that decision. You can’t accuse Him of not helping you when you are only willing to accept His help on your terms and not His. And by refusing the idea of any type of change or doing something that is potentially uncomfortable until you get used to it, you can block Him from working in you - not because He isn’t able to or doesn’t want to, but because He won’t force you to change or take a certain action. It’s unfair to believe He isn’t helping you if you’re expecting Him to make you do something, simply because He doesn’t make people do things. That would work against the freewill He has given us if He forced us to do things against our will.

I can’t know what God specifically wants for you in terms of the job meant for you.. I can offer my thoughts and advice based on what you tell me, but when it comes to what path He wants for you, I have no way of knowing that. That’s why it’s so important for you pray and seek His guidance with this, as this is something between you and Him. I think you also need to reach a point of accepting that there will be some degree of communication necessary, no matter what that job is. The degree of socializing in jobs will vary, but every job requires some sort of communication with others in order for tasks to he completed. Even people who are self-employed have to communicate with others at times. You of course aren’t required to be in a job where there’s a lot of socializing involved, but you will need to do it sometimes no matter what the job - your pet sitting business is an example of that. Even though you work with the pets most of the time, you still have to talk with the pets’ owners at times.

It’s not a shameful weakness to have a hard time communicating with people, and it’s not something impossible to get stronger with. It may be impossible to get past this by your own power, but it’s possible when you seek Christ and rely on Him for strength. The Word tells us all things are possible with Christ.

“But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” - Matthew 19:26

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13

Try to tackle the fear and consider what is motivating your fear of socializing. Are you afraid of looking silly to others? Afraid of what they think of you? Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen if you say stuttered or lost your train of thought when talking to someone out of nervousness? Chances are you are actually thinking worse of yourself than what the other person is thinking of you. Also, it’s important to remember when you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, you seek His approval - you no longer need to be in the bondage of seeking approval of man:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10

That’s why it’s so important to adapt the mindset of, “Even if someone did decide to think I’m weird because I stumbled over my words or felt nervous talking to them.. so what? What they think of me ultimately doesn’t matter.” I’m definitely not saying this is a mindset that is easy to have or one that you adapt to overnight. It’s something I still struggle with at times, too. But when I find myself in those moments, I try to ask myself if I’m worrying about what others think or what He thinks, if my worrying over what others think will even ultimately matter in any way or is it just the enemy preying on my self-consciousness. With His help and continually drawing nearer to Him/strengthening your relationship with Him, you can overcome this fear. He can help you to lay down the fears and self-consciousness and have an easier time communicating. At first it may feel difficult and like something you don’t want to do, but growth often feels like something you don’t want to do in the moment. But after you get past the discomfort and see how He’s helped you to become stronger, you find yourself thankful that you listened to Him and didn’t remain stagnant in your comfort zone.

Most people tend to want to remain in their comfort zones because it’s what is familiar to them. Many times, even if on some level a desire for something to change is there, it just feels good to remain in what you know with certainty you can do with ease. I see that in your words - you desire more (the right job, a boyfriend, independence, etc), but at the same time you want to only achieve these things on your terms and are stubborn against going outside the comfort zone out of fear. And I really do get it - the unknown can be scary and nobody enjoys the idea of venturing into something new with the possibility of failing at it. But we can’t allow the fear of the unknown and the possibility of failing to hold us back. When we do, it’s how we become stagnant and never move forward. Fear can be paralyzing, stopping you from succeeding and doing what He wants you to do before you even try. You can’t allow past times you haven’t succeeded to hold you back.. that’s the enemy using those times to chip away at your trust in the Lord and your confidence. The enemy loves reminding you of the parts of your past that you want to forget and leave behind.

I remember you mentioning in past messages your concerns about living with your parents. If you are worried about that, talk openly about it with them. Tell them your worries about living there until you find the right job. Chances are, they aren’t bothered by you living there but instead, it’s your own fear causing you to feel self-conscious about it. Maybe they could also offer you support and guidance about your career concerns, too.

You have a Heavenly Father who loves you and wants to guide you in this. You also have brothers and sisters in Christ who love you and want to help in any way they can. The enemy will try to make you believe you’re facing this alone, but you aren’t.

#God #asks #anon #fear #anxiety #work

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mucdonald · 6 years

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Hey y’all!! I’m Jinx, I’m always tired and I use caps lock too much & ramble like it’s no one’s business. I’ll be playing Mary MacDonald and she’s truly one of my favorite characters I’ve been writing for years -- so I’m so so excited to bring her here to this wonderful RP! Most of what’s under the cut are just some fun rambles, trying to give you a proper look at Mary but I’ve also included a stat sheet and biography for further insight!

AESTHETIC: Double winged black & gold eyeliner, graphic nerdy tees, tight fitting jeans, staying up all night, being the best friend you can be, giving the best presents, perfectly manicured hands, always biting back, dark purple lipstick, scattered newspapers, marijuana smoke, Queen on vinyl, horned rimmed glasses, faded denim, quiet optimism, open cynicism, being messy with the words you speak but not write.

CHARACTER INSPO: Margo Hanson ( The Magicians ), Gina Linetti ( B99 ), Spencer Hastings ( PLL ), Cristina Yang ( Grey’s Anatomy ), Rachel Green ( FRIENDS ), Ben Wyatt ( Parks & Rec ), Ella Lopez ( Lucifer )

INFO: → biography • stat sheet • pinterest

TRIGGERS: racism, prejudice, ptsd, drugs

so mary is a libra/virgo cusp, which fits her p well tbh. september 23th, hoes, so she’s a lil older than the rest of her classmates though she definitely doesn’t act it.

her parents are sucky to her tbh but her brother and her are partners in crime. unfortunately he’s in his last year of uni before med school rn and he’s totally focused on that and not around as much.

coming to hogwarts was a dream and she met these people who are undoubtedly family.

in her fifth year mary had made a newspaper of her own for the school, only to find it all RUINED bc some ppl had fucked it up the day before she was gonna hand them out ( if u wanna be that person hmu ). it really upset her but it made her even more want to be a journalist and hasn’t stopped writing since. it’s not really a thing she talks about often, tbh? she used to a lot but she’s v scared deep down that something’ll happen again so she’s kept it to herself and in the future will get an offer from the prophet to write for them ( she’ll be treated p shitty due to being a muggleborn woman of color BUT ). at the moment though she really doesn’t know what to do with her life and feels particularly aimless despite her being super intelligent and having p good grades. really really aimless.

did i mention she loves her friends more than she loves herself????? BC SHE REALLY DOES. i imagine when she was in the hospital after her attack ( bc of mental reasons ) they came to visit her and it just made her love them more. regarding the incident though, while we don’t have a mulciber ( this is also very much open ended until we have one ) i imagine that mary, while she didn’t ask to be attacked, definitely instigated it to a degree. i imagine she could’ve easily egged on mulciber, as she usually does not know how to have a filter, and honestly i could’ve seen her doing it for a long time. in my opinion, this is why mulciber didn’t get kicked out from school -- because i could imagine the administration bringing up some BS like ‘well she instigated it’ also just being prejudiced bc she’s a muggleborn and a woc! but again, all of this is really open to changing as i don’t want to godmod!

if you can handle her personality and shit, she’ll most likely love you.

loves the bad guys with the sad eyes and the mouth full of white lies TBH it’s such a mess. not even because she thinks she can change them or make them better … it’s just her type it seems like … it’s REALLY FRUSTRATING. don’t ask her about her ex. she also love dorks tho. mary is definitely not interested in any kind of love or relationships though.

but she’s also BI BI BI she really thinks girls are a gift to the universe. she’s really figuring it out more so NOW, is probably out to her friends but not AT ALL to her parents, yikes

in the future she WILL have a chewbacca costume, too bad star wars hasn’t come out yet

is pretty rich and would buy her friends all chewbaca costumes if they wanted ( in the future )

is one of those stoners who are also perfectionistic and hardworking

WILL FIGHT BIGOTS ALL DAY EVERYDAY, will NEVER compromise who she is bc they hate her for her BLOOD. NEVER EVER. will ALWAYS PUNCH ASSHOLES AND BIGOTS IN THE FACE

she does suffer from ptsd, but she’s had a lot of therapy over the past summer that have helped her deal with it. she does still sometimes have random angry misplaced outbursts and still have nightmares but they’ve gotten a lot better thanks to the miracle that is Marijuana. she’s definitely still in the messy ass healing place though

would probably share her pot with you too she’s p nice about that

OH SHE WEARS GLASSES AND SHES GOT FRECKLES ACROSS HER NOSE AND CHEEKS!!!!!!

she really loves her friends, btw, idk if i mentioned that. i wanted to put peter quill as one of her character parallels bc she really acts like him sometimes and can be that reckless and stupid but it felt really random along side everyone ELSE so like THERE’S THAT FUN FACT

CONNECTIONS ( though i’m doing badly at thinking of these rn ):

FRIENDSHIPS: i need every sort of friendship! i need mary’s best friends! friends who bond over having a fucking hard time right now! stoner friends! friends mary stays up with all night to study with!

PURISTS AND ASSHOLES SHE’S PUNCHED IN THE FACE: self explanatory!

FLINGS: mary is v much the type to casually hook up with people so i’m open to all these sorts of connections!!

ANTAGONISTIC: these two butt heads whether it’s because they’re so alike or because they both just have a different set of ideals but do like challenging each other!!

TUTORS: mary is great with her school subjects in theory but in practice she’s definitely not the strongest witch and needs help from other people much more talented at magic!

BAD INFLUENCE: especially this year, mary is giving into her vices, into her complicated feelings, up all hours of the night, maybe someone who indulges this, someone she doesn’t realize is really trying to get her to give into this negative shit!

GOOD INFLUENCE: someone who helps mary see the good still, who pushes her to push through her pain or at least accept it. just a good human you know!

MOM FRIEND: i mean y’all see she’s a mess someone give her a mom friend. pls.

PAST RELATIONSHIPS/ROMANTIC TENSION: i’m open to maybe one or two lil cutesy relationships?? mary’s first love/everything broke her heart the summer before her fifth year so anytime before that. even if it was just something cute and innocent and it just didn’t work out or maybe they had something, it was there, but when she went home and fell in love w/ the dude who then broke her heart, she was TOTALLY closed off and it just never progressed from there.

PARTY FRIEND: they always have a great time partying together, some of mary and them best times! tbh this could work for anyone as long as they’d be able to put up with mary and have a fun time

ANYTHING ELSE: i personally love talking about ideas etc so! anything else is great too!

#fortunate:greetings #i have a tendency to make things so long so i put it on different pages LMWOJwq #anyways im gonna do replies and things tomorrow i just feel like chilling tonight <33 #like this and ill come jump in ya inbox!!!#i mean IMS #it's not 2014 jinx!

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matazz · 3 years

Text

letters roy endoza never sent

so i wrote these because i wanted to write out roy’s feelings to the party members. it was mostly a way to vent, but during the time, i really did want to send them - but my DM never let me (if you’re reading this LOL).

there’s something a bit sadder about it being letter’s he never sent.

in my head, he left along the journal that he wrote as well with the letters he left behind. i guess canonically i can say that the party never ended up finding them.

group letter (written after roy left the party & before the gala)

for the group, i had fun while we were charading around finding ancient artifacts and solving puzzles. i’m going to miss our adventure, but i have to leave. i’ve involved myself against the fate of the universe, a crime against all odds. i’ve loved knowing you all and you’ve all helped me so much but i dont want to involve you anymore in it. more importantly i feel as if that my actions may draw a rift in your beliefs and i dont want to seperate that bond. please do not look for me. i’m afraid i serve no purpose in this mission with the champions anymore. i dont think the gods (and even myself) consider myself to be a champion anymore. to be quite honest with you, i don’t know what the consequences are or what might be from my actions but i will deal with it myself. i’m going to be honest. i appreciate all of you, and you’ve helped me in learning so much. about the world, magic, and other people. but i don’t want to involve any of you in my life and i don’t want to see any of you ever again. please do not try to contact me or find me. this is my departure letter. i am safe, and i am well, and i dont want to be involved with the champions anymore. i hope everybody does well. i’m sorry i left without saying anything but it had to be this way. it’s better for me this way, for everyone. i’ll stay safer this way. if the gods tell you to locate me, please ignore them their calls. i can not say why, but if you trust me at all, please believe me when i say i’m safer not meeting you. sincerely, roy endoza.

To the group (i think this was written the day of the gala, but before the Thing happened)

To the Champions, I’m not sure when this letter will deliver, so you might receive it a bit late. I’ve left for a while to pursue my own goals and research some things. I'm not sure when I'll be back, or if I'll even be back at all. There's been so much nagging at me that distances myself from all of you and I don't really feel like I belong so much anymore anyway. I don’t know whether or not my research is going to succeed, but if on the event that something happens, please don’t look for me. To be quite frank, I don’t really want to involve any of you in my research and I’m afraid that meeting you is only going to be a liability to me. On the unlikely event that my research turns out to be negative, I'll come back; however if that’s not the case then please don’t try to contact me and do not look for me. I can not stress this enough, but what I’m about to go through with is going to upset the gods and more importantly, all of you. It hurts to leave like this, but I have to say farewell. I loved travelling with most of you and I’ve learnt more about the world than I ever could have just staying at my house in Origin. Thank you so much for the adventure. Perhaps for the last time, Roy Endoza.

To Ayce (written the day of the gala i think)

Ayce, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to talk to you before I left. To be honest, I couldn’t bring myself to do it and I haven’t had the time or the nerve to say anything. I regret all of that, but you deserve at least something before I leave. I can’t continue our relationship.. I’ve felt distant for a while now, and it’s been nagging at me but I don’t think we’re good for eachother at all. I’ve been a dishonest man to you despite the fact that you’ve been honest with me the entire time. I know it makes me an asshole. You deserve so much better than I could ever be to you. I wish there was more I could say. You've probably figured it out already, and if you have then I already know it was pretty selfish or stupid of me to start this relationship despite the fact that I've known all along how it was going to turn out. You don't have to forgive me. I wouldn't either. And if you haven't figured it out, then I hope it wasn't so terrible for you. I've enjoyed my time with you. I hope you find someone better. Roy.

A letter to Ayce (written like the day roy left)

ayce i have a lot i’ve been meaning to say to you but havent had the time or the nerve to say anything. but i need to say it now because you deserve these words. i can no longer continue our relationship. i’ve redeemed myself but in doing so, i’ve gone against the world; but more importantly, to you. i love you very much, and i wish i could have come to the ball with you and danced. i would have loved to; but i have a lot going on and i dont want to involve you, or anybody else in our charade, involved in my problems. i’m sorry i could not say it to your face. i hope life treats you well. you deserve so much better than i could ever have been. with love roy

Letter to Ayce (dated from the week before roy left)

ayce i’m writing this because i didnt have the nerves to say this in person, and i apologize for that. to be honest, the more time passes the more o begin to think our relationship was a mistake, so i’m officially parting ways. i never lied when i said i love you. i still do, but i just dont think it has worked out or even will. i think our morals are too different; and i cant find myself being with somebody who finds it so easy to murder a person. no matter how terrible she was, i thought that you of all people may have disapproved after experiencing death already. i also found myself attached to Fox, so his leaving leaves a hole in my heart. ialso despise Atlas; but i digress, none of these are even the main reason i’m leaving. to be quite frank, i’ve never seen this mission with the gods as important. my dreams, my goals, my redemption; they will always be first. this mission with the gods has just been seen as a side quest for me. partially because i don’t trust the gods myself. if we take everything we’ve heard at face value, then why should i trust God’s that have left the world to ruins before? they don’t even trust us enough to tell us what has happened in the past. in my opinion, they’re either incompetent and lazy or not telling us the actual truth of what we’re doing; or even what they’re doing. they aren’t powerful. if they were, they could retrieve the keys themselves or defeat beshaba’s group themselves. i just can’t bring myself to want to do a mission anymore where i have to obey people who can not trust us enough to let us know basic information. meeting you was a bonus, but i think it’s time for me to move on. this wasn’t a decision i’ve made because Fox left; i’ve been thinking about this for a while. neither my goals or morals align with anyone elses. i want to be good, but i’m only a wench in a perfectly working clock. as of recent events, i also don’t want to explain myself to Atlas of all people, but i can’t bring myself to tell you about myself either. i may return, if only for more information or perhaps even the gala; as much as i do not care for the gods, i’m still interested in the keys and the power within them. if i meet you there, i know it may sound selfish to ask, but i hope you may give me one last dance. roy

a notebook. it’s a bit worn out and has some torn pages.. it was left behind with roy’s stuff and all the letters

‪entry 47‬ ‪[torn out page] ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪[torn out.] ‬‪entry 69‬ [‪torn out] ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back. i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ‪[scribbled out over so that you cant read it] ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just

sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out but still there: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪[torn out] entry 101.2 [torn out] entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. [the rest of it is torn out] (torn note inbetween the pages hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over. (there are about 2-3 pages with entry 102 that are torn out) entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try

avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 [torn out] entry 124 [torn out]

#roy endoza writing #roy endoza #oc #writing

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cloudlesbian · 4 years

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10 worst anime I've watched- I'm suprised I was able to find enough and recover my old old crunchyroll account for this😂 and I'm sorry this is so long I'm not a consice person and got carried away complaining abt these shows

1. Sword art online definitely. Horrible. U all kno why this is #1

2. Attack on titan, I watched the first season and thought it was interesting, got freaked out by the ppl who were into it, realized it was nazi apologist/propaganda and was like yeah I'm out of here

3. Cuticle detective inaba. I watched this in maybe late middle school? I thought it was funny but it was. So so wierd. And I think the mc has a fetish for hair and tht is just out in the open?? Incredibly bizarre show tht I remember almost none of. But it probably is funny actually. I'm too scared to try and rewatch it.

4.black butler. I've heard tht some of it was actually good/not as bad as ppl make it out to b but I had a bad experience and was around a lot of freaks when I watched it who made beastiality jokes about a certain episode and shipped the kid with that demon. So I did NOT have fun with it and it was probably too edgy for me to enjoy anyways bc I don't usually like mystery/drama genres. I stopped watching around episode 15 I think

5.henneko the hentai prince and the stony cat. I didnt kno what hentai meant at all and the synopsis tricked me into thinking there was a cool magical cat related plot and I was waiting for the fantasy story and cats to show up and it was just a creepy straight boy leering at girls every damn episode😭and I didnt kno about any shows that worked like tht and had no plot and watched a whole 5 episodes! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

6.outbreak company, I think it was trying to b a knockoff of sword art online and that's..of course its gonna suck oh god I'm reading the description and it's worse than I even remembered

7.kuroko's basketball. This. show. drove. me. INSANE. People were SOOOOO into it and I was like I guess I've gotta see what the hype is about expecting a homoerotic sports anime probably. What I got was out nowhere these fucking xmen playing basketball. It was never explained!!! I watched 20 gofdamn episodes and I was like oh the glowing whooshing behind the ball must b exaggeration to show how fast it is! NO BITCH. and then this motherfucker shows up who's like "I've got eagle vision I can see the whole court from an aerial view" and I was like what the fuck is going on!!!!!!!!!! I cant stand this shit! And it wasnt getting interesting or homoerotic enough for me and I was like I dont care about sports or this bs I'm out of here!!!

8.la storia della arcana famiglia, I was watching magi and this was recommended as a similar?? Show and i watched it and it was interesting to me!! But these motherfucking annoying ass boys would not leave this girl alone!!! Freaks who she barely knows calling her bambi and touching all over her and getting in her space. I could not stand it. DISGOASTEN.

9.anohana the flower we saw that day, I knew it was popular/ppl liked it so I tried to watch and was rlly bored and was like I cant get invested in what this stupid straight guy wants, bye!

10.orenchi no furo jijo, some old friends were like it's funny and it was just like. Boring and "so random!" Kind of funny? And it did not have a plot I think

Honorary mention for free! It was queerbaiting for sure and wierd as hell and the fandom for it was oh my god nasty, yes it does deserve hate. my friends made me watch it and as a lesbian I had very little motivation to. But there was a plot! and interesting character dynamics tht I got invested in. I rlly liked the plot in season 2 I think? Where haru is all like "I don't wanna pursue swimmig professionally if that'll make me lose my passion for it and why do I have to anyways?" And could not word that to his friends and felt pretty misunderstood and frustrated. I thought tht was a very compelling and satisfying plot point even if it took a while to get explained. So I can respect tht free! Had some good plot and actually was rlly driven by characters themselves and how friendships have major effects on ppl positive and negative and can b very complex. Thts at least how I remember it🤷‍♀️

#thnks amber this was fun!!#asks #also the cuticle detective one is thrown in there bc the top 3 r the ones ive watched kind of all the way thru #tht one isnt ranked

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