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#and make me feel very sad even if they don't relate to me at all hahaha
softpine · 1 day
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
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alchemiclee · 7 months
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every time someone dislikes a character I consider autistic because they seem highly autistic coded, especially if it's "for no reason/just a feeling" I get so incredibly sad and offended because I just know it's because they have autistic traits. I know these people would do the same to me and other irl autistic people. and that's always such a shitty reason to dislike/hate someone.
I just know they would hate us autistic for "no reason" and it would be because people for some reason dislike autistic people based on some obscure random feeling and they can't even tell you why. they often see us as "broken neurotypicals" or we give them that "uncanny valley robot" feeling (especially for high masking autistic people) or whatever it is. they often think we appear "normal" in every way, except something is "off" to them, they they dislike and bully us for it. it's not our fault we were born with these traits/disability so it's not fair to hate us for it!
at least that's how it always seems to go for me and everyone autistic person i've personally know. especially ones better at masking. (I personally was never good at masking and was seen as a "weird freak" who deserves bullying no matter what I did, especially since i was unable to talk 95% of the time as a kid) the mask still never truly hides that "off feeling" people get. i'm sure other autistic people experience this too, but people always dislike me or even hate me and usually can't ever seem to give me a reason. friends will suddenly turn on me and not give me a reason. (especially if we always had text based communication online and then we meet irl the first time. they suddenly turn on or abandon me after that). if I can get a reason out of someone, it's always because *insert random autistic trait here* so I assume it's the same with every case
if this happens irl, it has to be the same for fictional characters, right? it's the only explanation I can think of. I see stuff like this all the time. the autistic coded characters are always getting hate for seemingly no reason like this:
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meanwhile, the autistic coded characters always become my favorites because I understand them better and relate
#autism#autistic#actually autistic#neurodivergent#people probably do this with other neurodivergencies too tbh#hsr#dan heng#ill tag that too in case other autistic dan heng enjoyers are out there and feel the same 😔🤝😔#i have seen almost the same exact post about albedo before too. hes also very autistic coded#probably wouldn't be hard to find one about lynette since shes very autistic. and others too. sighs. its so sad. let us live#i don't care if someone dislikes me or a character. its when that reason is from being autistic#whether they conciously know or not that makes me upset. disliking someone for a trait/disability they cant help just sucks#even if its just me projecting onto a foctional character who i can relate to a lot because they feel so similar to me#when irl people are all so different and weird to me and treat ME like the weird alien they dislike “for no reason” sighsssss#again i dont care if someone dislikes a character (or me) i just hate when its for autistic characteristics even if they k ow why#they dont know why*#that may not even be it for the screenshoted people. but its SO GODDAMN COMMON for people to dislike autistic people#“FOR NO REASON” or some obscure feeling they cant explain. so that is the logical explanation#i hardly ever see people dislike a character (or me / other irl autistic people) for any other legitimate reason that's not autistic traits#its always things like “theyre annoying/too awkward and quit/too weird/do and say weird stuff/give me a weird feeling/lack personality/#quiet* not quit#/too obsessed with *special interest*/bad at communicating/etc“ and not legitimate reasons like they're not a good person or something#where was i going with this ramble....got distracted and forgot#lee rambles#lee is confused and upset about these things!!!!
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mymarifae · 1 year
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i hope everyone's prepared for me to become the most annoying person ever in 13 more hours
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depresseddepot · 2 years
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his name is bodie
#in other related news: i took him to the vet and saw a cat years to human years sign and it said that a 6yo cat was abt 40 human years#and toby. my special guy. is 6 years old#ive been in a downward spiral ever since lol so im not trusting myself to make decisions abt whether or not we're keeping bodie#i don't think i have the time or headspace to spend as long as i did with toby on him but its a baby and im doing it a disservice if i dont#hes so lonely and sad and tiny but i am Comorbid and hate change so so so much#this poor baby#its past my bedtime so im sure ill feel 100% different in the morning#but im just. toby is getting older :(#i don't know what to do after he eventually passes away one day. like frankly i dont think ill be doing anything else for very long#ive loved pets before but. not as much as i love him :(#he could be starving and would run past food if i sat down to pet him#he sits and waits for me to get out of the shower upstairs (a place he's afraid of)#he knows what times i get home and wakes himself up from naps to wander upstairs to see me#he gets lost sometimes and meows until i talk to him so he knows how to get back to someplace safe#he's a HUGE cat but he's so gentle and sweet. he was even nice to the baby#not to be dramatic but i don't think I'll recover once he passed away. like i think that's it for me.#honest to god need to have my affairs in order come my mid thirties because. well.#he even comes over to lay w me when I'm crying :(#sorry abt all these tags#vent
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riverofrainbows · 1 year
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I wish i had been healthy when studying and done this properly. It's absolute hell trying to pick up the pieces for my big exam thats coming up, all the lectures I've never been to, all the exams the most i was able to study for was half assed so i still don't know the subject properly, the study notes and lecture notes that i never properly sorted after i got home and still fly around, almost impossible to decipher now. I had a chance to rewatch some of the lectures that were recorded for covid, but today for some reason I've been thrown out of the website again, and I haven't gotten even halfway through yet.
I've been going through all my study materials trying to sort them and prepare for the exam, and found subjects i have no memory of taking, meticulous flashcards i have no memory of making (nor of their content). I see mountains and mountains of evidence how bad i was doing all these years, and how much i tried despite, still.
And it makes me so sad, so Fucking sad. I am grieving all the time i struggled so hard and tried and tried my best, and it was a jangled mess i am trying to pick up now.
And i am angry because it's so much harder trying to study with no or lacking lecture notes, having to dig through the mess instead of just taking it out of a folder. It was hard then, and suffering back then still makes life harder for me now.
#own post#disability#grief#anger#i am doing better now not perfect but better and i think of all the lost potential too#i could have been very good ngl but instead i was struggling and kept failing tests and getting through with just the required points#and it makes me so angry because i do find it interesting and i can be brilliant at what interests me. remembering tiny details#i could have shone so bright but instead its all just struggling and then reliving that struggle while trying to pick up the damn pieces#and it makes me so sad for past me (who I can't even really remember) because he tried so hard and put in to much energy#like the amount of energy i used to have while severely ill is another thing because I don't have it anymore#i am doing better so i do have more energy available and it also takes less but i cannot imagine ever doing that again while suffering#i don't have the reserve anymore to do things while suffering. i used it all up#its all gone and when i look back its still Still such a mess#it makes me think 'and for what' because what am i even supposed to do with that#i used it all up just to survive and get by#all my reserve energy all of it#and when other look at it at what i achieved all they see is a failure. and i try not to do the same bc i was there i know why#but sometimes it does feel like that. sometimes it just frustrates me so much#I've gotten out of the depths of the severe burnout i was in after the last semester a few weeks ago and it's a lot to process#now that I'm not actively in survival mode anymore in active fight or flight over doing anything uni related#and i start to process all those emotions#i am proud of paar me and i feel so sorry for him#and for me
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no-one-hears-me · 9 months
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wow I really am terrified of gaining weight
#ed tw#idk what my motivation for all of this is#I've considered that I want to look sick and like. make my mental problems visible#but I'm actually very embarrassed about this and hide it. I get uncomfortable if people ever mention my eating habits#it's not really for looks bc I understand that being such an unhealthy size isn't attractive? at least when it involves unhealthy methods#makes me look like a sickly little corpse#also I lose a lot of muscle mass bc of this which is sad bc I like lifting weights. but I ruin all my work and progress#ik a common ed theme is control but I've never really related to that tbh#I also think it could just be a weird form of perfectionism since I'm just worried about numbers but idk#bc I still think I look too fat and that's not just numbers#but ig it still could be me striving for perfection overall and that includes both numbers and appearance?? but idk#what I know is that I feel accomplished for not eating. losing weight makes me really happy#gaining weight makes me upset even though ik it's just water retention and whatever. not actual weight gain#I just don't wanna see the scale number go up#I've been doing this for years and I still don't understand why. none of my psychoanalysis attempts have given a solid answer#maybe I'll understand eventually#except starving destroys your brain function. no wonder I can't figure out my reasons for this 😭😭😭#so like. I've never actually recovered but I am way funnier and cooler in my moments of partial recovery#that makes me sad too bc I don't wanna eat but I can't deny its benefits#Sera
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hyunniesgirl · 2 months
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Stupid in love
Pairing: Seo Changbin x reader
Genre: angst, fluff
Summary: less than a month into the wedding, you get into a big fight with Changbin. When you think he's going to call it quits, he makes sure to show you that you're very much wrong.
Requested: yes
Warnings: a bit suggestive
All my works are for +18 audiences, minors do NOT interact!!
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You park in front of your house, the lights are on, your fiance is home. He's home and he stood you up. You're mad but mostly you're sad, you're overwhelmed and so tired, exhausted, actually.
You enter the house, hearing sounds in the kitchen, you don't even want to look at him right now. You want to yell at him, argue but you don't even have the energy to do that, so you just take your shoes off, leaving your coat hanging by the door and walking silently to the stairs so you can go to your room, wash up and just sleep until morning comes and you can pretend this day never happened.
“You're home?” You hear Changbin's voice as soon as you go up the first step to the second floor.
“Yes”, you say, continuing to go up.
You hear his footsteps coming after you, but you don't stop, you want to close the door right on his face.
“I ordered food”, he says again, confused as to why you didn't kiss him when you arrived or why you're not looking at him.
“I'm not hungry”, you say simply, stopping in front of the mirror to take your jewelry off. You give up on the idea of closing the door on his face, you don't want to hurt him even though you're furious. You take off your earrings, watching him through the reflection of the mirror. He's looking at you with a frown on his face, trying to figure out why you're angry, he's sure he didn't do anything this time.
“Are you mad?” He asks, naively.
“What do you think?” You ask back, glaring at his reflection.
“I think you are”, he pouts.
“Then you already have your answer”, you say, finishing taking the bracelets and rings off your fingers.
You turn around, walking past him and going to the bathroom to wash up, hearing his footsteps after you again. You sigh, why won't he leave you alone?
“I'm not sure what I did wrong this time”, Changbin clarifies, trying to make you tell him what's wrong.
You laugh, looking to the ceiling and trying to calm down. Turning to look at him and leaning on the bathroom counter, looking at your fiance with your arms crossed in front of your chest.
“I really don't know if I should feel less angry that you genuinely forgot about our cake tasting today and not just chose to ignore what I've been planning for months”, you say through gritted teeth, watching the panic form on the face of the man in front of you.
“I-it was today?” He stutters, patting his pants to find his phone and check on his agenda just to find the event he had scheduled on his calendar to be exactly today. “I didn't mean it”, he says, running his hand through his hair. “I had so many meetings today, I just got home”, he explains.
“I guess your work will always be your top priority”, you scoff, feeling tears starting to brim on your eyes.
“Don't be like that”, Changbin sighs, “you know you are my top priority but I'm not just an employee, I'm the CEO”, he pleads, you know that and you're so tired of that.
“I'm well aware of your position in the company”, you laugh, rolling your eyes. “That’s why I never say anything when you come home late or when I'm all ready for a date and you have to reschedule it because something came up”, you sigh, “I only asked this one thing of you: that you show up when we have something related to the wedding but you couldn't even do that for me”, you cry out, feeling the tears running out of your eyes.
“You're talking like I did this on purpose”, he murmurs, hurt showing in his eyes.
“I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty”, you run your hands through your hair, “you don't know how humiliating it was to wait for you there for three hours, Ryujin and my mom told me to reschedule but I told them that you were going to show up”, you take a deep breath, “jokes on me, I guess I'm the only one who cares about this fucking wedding”
“You're not the only one who cares”. He says with his voice a pitch higher, it happens when he gets nervous. “I'm trying to clean my schedule so we can go on our honeymoon without me having to worry about work. I have so many meetings every day and I have to pass all the work to my secretary so nothing goes wrong while I'm away”
“Maybe we shouldn't be doing this”, you whisper, putting your hands on your sides and squeezing the fabric of your shirt.
“Are you being for real?” He asks, incredulous, anger and resentment flooding his mind.
You regretted saying it the moment the sentence left your mouth, but unfortunately you can't unsay something, all the more something so hurtful as that.
“I-” you step closer to him, but Changbin steps back, shaking his head.
“I need to think”, he turns to the door, walking away and leaving you behind.
You're such an idiot, how could you say that to him? It doesn't matter how angry you are, there's no excuse to hurt someone you love like that. You feel the tears falling down your eyes while your knees give in and you fall on the floor, crying your eyes out. Did you ruin everything? Is he going to call off the wedding? Is he sick of you now?
Hours go by, you walk back and forth in the house, waiting for his car to park in front of the house but it doesn't come, he doesn't show up. Did he leave you? You should expect that much after what you said.
You lie down on your bed, hugging his pillow, feeling his scent and crying until the exhaustion from the day makes you fall asleep.
You're awake with rustling in the room, you open your eyes widely, seeing Changbin packing. Oh, he's leaving you already? Without even trying to talk?
You feel your tears showing up again and a sob escapes your lips, being followed by more sobs and wailing, making the man turn around to look at you scared.
“Hey, what's wrong?” He runs to you, jumping on the bed by your side and hugging your body, squeezing your cheek on his chest while he caresses your hair. “Did you have a nightmare?” He asks, worried and you shake your head.
“You shouldn't be nice if you're going to dump me”, you cry more, sobbing in his arms.
“Excuse me?” He holds you by the shoulders, pushing you away so he can look at your red and puffy face. “What are you talking about?”
“You're packing because you're calling off the wedding, right?” You point to the bags, “you hate me now, I know you do”, you cry more, burying your face on his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears.
“Bunny, look at me”, he repeats his action from before, pushing you so he can look at your eyes. “Why would I leave my beautiful and kind fiance?” He asks, smiling gently at you.
“Because I was mean, I didn't really mean that we shouldn't get married, I really want to marry you”, you start mumbling, making him chuckle.
“That's great, because I still really want to marry you too”, he clarifies, coming closer and kissing your forehead. “I was packing because I'll be kidnapping you today”, he smirks, watching your eyes glow with expectation.
“Where are we going?” You ask him but he shakes his head.
“It's not a kidnapping if you know where I'm taking you”, he looks at the watch on his wrist, “you have exactly ten minutes to get ready, if I come back here and you're not done I'll take you with me anyway”, he informs you.
“Binnie!”, you pout, “I can't even take a shower in ten minutes”
“Too bad for you then, you better get to work. Tik tok”, he jokes, making you huff, jumping from the bed and running to the bathroom.
You take the quickest shower you have ever took, hurrying to the bathroom counter to brush your teeth with one hand while brushing your hair with the other, thinking about what you're going to wear. You're sure this is his revenge, he's torturing you because you were mean to him.
You figure you still have two minutes before he shows up, so you put on jeans and a long sleeve shirt.
“Times up”, Changbin's head pops on the door, a smug smile on his lips.
“I didn't even put any makeup on”, you plead, looking at the things you need right in front of you.
“Nope, don't even think about it”, he walks up to you, chuckling when you pout. You're ready to fight him on that, when he grabs you by the hips, throwing you on his shoulder.
“Binnie! What are you doing?” You kick and wiggle trying to make him release you.
“It's not a kidnapping if you go with me willingly”, he points out, making you laugh, he's unbelievable. This man is insane.
“I can't believe you”, you sigh when he drops you on the passenger's seat of his car, fastening your seatbelt. You watch as he walks around the front of the car and gets in the car. While you watch him turning on the engine and starting to drive, you wanna cry again. You just love him too much.
“I'm sorry about yesterday”, you bite on your bottom lip, “I was really exhausted and angry but that's not an excuse to say those things to you”
Changbin nods, stopping at a red light and looking at you.
“Let's just say we are even now”, he grins, grabbing your hand and giving you a quick peck on the lips.
When you arrive at the airport, he tells you to cover your eyes the whole time until you get into the plane, making sure you have no idea where you're going. When you finally see Jeju island through the plane's window, you look at him excitedly, just to find the man taking a nap. He must have stayed awake all night long, making this trip happen. You watch as his chest rises and falls, slowly, his dark hair covering his eyes.
You really don't know what you would do if he really had called the wedding off, maybe you would have begged but something you're sure is that you wouldn't be able to let him go.
As soon as the plane lands, you wake him up, shaking him a bit. His eyes flutter open and he smiles at you, brushing his fingers on his eyes to help him wake up.
“Shall we?” He offers his hand to you, seeing you nod and take his hand. Changbin stands up, pulling you with him, walking behind the people getting out of the plane.
You feel like the sun shines brighter in Jeju, the weather is warm and nice, like the perfect day for a trip. After renting a car, you two drive to the hotel, Changbin has everything ready with a suite already reserved for you.
You're a bit tired, after barely sleeping at night you are a bit sleepy but you won't go to sleep, you want to enjoy every minute you can with your man.
“I'm going to take a shower and later we can go to the beach”, you tell him, stepping closer to wrap your arms around his waist and to give him a peck on the lips.
“Should I let you, though?” He wraps his arms around you, “maybe I should keep you stuck in bed with me, paying for being so mean to me”, he smirks.
“You know damn well that that wouldn't be a punishment”, you step away, pushing him a bit.
“But I deserve compensation”, Changbin points out. “Don't I?” He grins, making you sigh.
You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Enough for you to be able to touch his lips with yours, feeling his hot breath mixing with yours, his scent is just intoxicating you feel like you can go insane at any moment.
He wraps his arms around your waist, pressing you against him, seizing the opportunity and pushing you against the wall. You sigh when he pulls away from you, landing kisses down your jaw and neck, sucking on your soft skin.
“Stop right there mister”, you come to your senses, pushing him away, making him whine. “Did you bring me here just to have sex?” You squeeze your eyes, judging him.
“No, I just can't resist you”, he pouts, giving in. “You can take your shower, I'll wait”
He gives you a quick kiss and turns around, walking to the bed and sitting on the edge, sighing dramatically.
You try to walk normally, but your legs are about to give in. Changbin mustn't know the power he has over you, you'll be done for if he ever finds out.
You two walk by the beach, watching the sunset. He holds your hand with both of his, caressing yours dearly while watching you.
“You know, I love you”, he says out of nowhere, making you turn to look at him. You blush, as if you have never heard that before.
“I love you too”, you answer.
“I don't think you understand the depth of my love for you, though”, he clarifies. “The fact that you thought I was going to call everything off because of a fight shows that you're not aware of the hold you have on me”, the man steps closer, lifting one of his hands to your face and caressing your cheek. “Y/N, I love you when you're kinda, I love you when you're smart and I love you when you're funny, but I also love you when you're angry, I love you when you are upset and I love you when you're sad. I love you every hour, every minute and every second of the day and unless you dump me, I won't let you go so easily.” He smiles, chuckling to your eyes brimming with tears, you're such a cry baby.
“I'm not a lyricist like you, so I'm not as good with expressing myself”, you tell him, wiping your eyes, “but I love you so much, you have no idea how much I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I promise I'll prove my love to you everyday”, you smile, giving him a quick kiss. “I don't want to wait three weeks to be your wife”
“Then, let's not wait”, Changbin suggests, kissing the back of your hand. He chuckles seeing the confusion on your face. “Let's get married today, no guests, no fancy party, just you and me and probably two strangers to be our witnesses”
“What are you talking about?” You ask, confused but you can't help the smile that grows on your lips.
“Let's register our marriage right now, we can do the big party later as we planned but right now we can do it just you and me, what do you think?” He asks, hopeful. You give him the biggest smile, throwing your arms around his neck and in a second his arms are wrapped around your waist, spinning with you, making you giggle excitedly.
You and Changbin run to the city, buying him a suit and a white sundress for you. Outside of the register office, you find two people nice enough to agree on witnessing your wedding. Your fiance prepared two rings made of flowers that would probably not last more than a day, but the important thing isn't anything like that. The most important thing is the spark in his eyes when he's looking at you, while waiting to sign the papers. The most important thing is how he presses his lips on your knuckles after putting on the flower ring on your finger. The most important thing is that you're husband and wife now. And that you'll never ever let go of each other.
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rucow · 2 months
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some placements im soft for<3
♐ sagittarius sun: my everlasting obsession. the most magnetic people ive ever met. they're insanely beautiful and enigmatic, they fascinate me. i have no sag placements myself, so idk why im so in love with this sign, but to me they're ethereal and regal in a way. they give me a heartthrob. i adore their facial features and their personality, i love their blunt honesty. these people are majestic and special to me. also very silly.
♏ scorpio mercury: this placement could tell me to jump off a bridge and i probably would. their words and tone can have full control over other people, they have so much power in their voice! even if they speak very quietly, the impact of their words is immense. singers and performers with this placement are impeccable at delivering the most raw emotion to their audience. every time they speak, i feel like i can see and feel their soul. which makes sense, because their mercury is conjunct my moon. i feel compelled to listen to these people. they put me under a spell anytime they speak (or sing). also, i love it when they go detective mode trying to solve a ~mystery~
🌠 mercury-neptune conjunctions: ethereal, mesmerising, haunting. i noticed that a lot of singers i listen to have this placement, and you can really feel it. ive always had dreams (and nightmares) about songs written and sung by people with this placement, they're absolutely haunting in such an addictive way. they're out of this world. beautifully poetic people.
♎ libra moon: some of the sweetest people ive ever met. they're so soft and sensitive, even if they don't seem like it. somewhat of a role model to me, i looked up to them so much only to find out im a libra moon myself in sidereal astrology. i have an urge to protect these people and reassure them that their feelings are valid. they have the most beautiful smiles.
♊ gemini moon: maybe it's because my own moon is in the 3rd house, but i find these people very relatable. the amount of hate and misunderstanding ive seen them receive is plain cruel. i think these are some of the most genuine people, and i appreciate it when they speak their mind. silly factor off the charts
♑ capricorn placements (any): i haven't gotten to know you too well yet, but you're always like a breath of fresh air. im intrigued by you! i feel i have so much to learn from you.
♏ scorpio sun: the kindest most understanding people ive ever met. sure, there's been a few bad apples here and there, but so many scorpios ive met have helped me heal, even if indirectly. they've had a huge huge impact on me and im always thankful for that.
♐ sagittarius mars: i adore these people's energy. my mars is in aries but at the 9° degree (a sagittarius degree), and i feel like being around these people is so fun. very very playful people with an outstanding positive energy, they are silliness personified and i love that about them.
♒ aquarius venus: i didn't care much for this placement at first, seeing as it's my own, but looking through works written by aquarius venus artists has hit something deep inside of me. there's something sad about your heart being in this saturnian, fixed sign. it's like a prison. you fully commit to people once you think you've found "the one", and break-ups can be brutal for you. you don't show it on the outside, but your suffering shows in your art, and im sorry i didn't see it sooner. your understanding of the world is very real and fascinating, and you're such a devoted friend. ive grown to understand and appreciate this placement a lot more than i did before.
though i only talk about a few specific placements here, every sign is special in their own way. ily all, take care of yourselves 💖
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love-takes-work · 5 months
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I've seen a fair number of people interpret Rebecca Sugar's (and the Crew's) decision to put Ruby in a dress as subversive, and I want to discuss why that feels like a clear miss to me.
Every time--every single time--I've heard Rebecca Sugar talk about the queer relationships on this show, it comes with this expression of wholesomeness, and often glazed with a sheen of wistfulness, flavored something like "I needed this as a child and young person, and I didn't have it." Much of Rebecca Sugar's work to bring this wedding (and other unapologetic queer relationships) to the screen was framed as an emergency--as in, we HAVE to get this out there for those kids we used to be, because we know they're drowning.
Yes, it's funny sometimes when people make jokes about Sugar deliberately "adding more gay" or "making it gayer" as a big eff-you to the people who spoke against it, but that doesn't sit right from where I'm standing. It took so much strength (and resulted in so much battle damage) to fight that fight, yes. But from everything I can see from the interviews and conversations I've seen and read, this wasn't served up in a "ha-HA, take THAT!" kind of way. These characters having these kinds of relationships should have been a non-issue, and the fact that their very wholesome kids'-show wedding and very sweet kiss and very adorable love for each other was seen as Political when it should have been just two characters in love is so sad to me.
I've seen dozens of people suggest that Ruby is in a dress and Sapphire is in a suit "to fuck with the bigoted censors in other countries" or "to give the finger to gender roles," but again, I think it is simpler and sweeter than that. Rebecca's said that Ruby in a dress is how she feels in a dress. Celebration and exploration of feminine-coded stuff felt wrong to Rebecca for a long time, like it wasn't hers, because she wasn't really a woman and didn't want it forced on her. As a result she was robbed of all the beauty that should have been a non-issue, from what TV shows and toys she was supposed to enjoy as a kid to what kind of person she was supposed to marry and what she should wear as an adult.
Ruby never got a choice about how she looked really. Once she got to choose her presentation for a significant event, this is what she chose. It means so much more to see that than to construct it primarily as a reactionary measure, as if it would somehow foil the sinister censors in more homophobic countries (who, incidentally, are not therefore forced to show Ruby in a dress even though they tried to hide that Ruby was a "she" or that she was in a romantic relationship with another "she"; y'all, they just don't show the episode).
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We see plenty of other examples of gender-role-related expectations being casually stepped on and squashed, like when they took the trouble to give traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine "clothes" to some watermelons to make the audience think there was a husband and wife watermelon only to have the wife be the warrior and the husband stay home with the child. With stuff like that, yeah, sure, maybe it's designed to make you think "oh isn't that very feminist of them!" Or maybe it's more "well why do I see this as a 'reversal' when it's just a thing that happened?" This show is full of ladyish beings who fight and have power. And as for Steven. . . .
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Nobody has negative reactions onscreen (or even particularly confused reactions) when Steven wears traditionally feminine clothes, and it is (of course) also not presented as a "boy in a dress gag"--it's not supposed to be funny. When they go all in slathering Steven in literal princess tropes throughout the final act of Season 5, we understand that it's because the powerful Diamonds expect him to be Pink Diamond, not because the show is trying to girlify him or embarrass him or even make the audience think positive thoughts about boys in girls' clothes. It's more neutral than that in my interpretation: "these are literally just pieces of cloth, and while some of them have meaning, they don't inherently have a gender." I don't see this as transgressive. It's just in a world where putting on what you want to wear doesn't HAVE to be a political statement. (Though obviously it CAN be, and plenty of people wear a variety of clothes as a fuck-you to whoever they want to give the finger to. I just don't see that as happening here.)
Don't get me wrong; Rebecca Sugar certainly knew about the politics (intimately) and has lived at many of their intersections. She was not ignorant of how queer people are seen in this world. She was silenced as a bisexual person because her identity supposedly didn't matter if she was with a man and planned to be with that same man forever. She was shunted into "omg a woman did this!" categories over and over again, which she wore uneasily as a nonbinary person while accepting that part of who we are is how the world sees us. But what is it like if everything someone like her embraces is seen as a statement synonymous with "fuck you" to someone else?
She is married to a person who happens to be a man and happens to be Black. Her relationship isn't a "statement" about either of those aspects of his existence; her love is simply something that is. She is Jewish working in a society that's largely Christian. Her cultural perspective to NOT center her cartoon around Christian holidays and Christian morals; her choices to make an alternate world in this specific way is simply something that is. Her queer perspective as a nonbinary bisexual person has helped inform the Gems' radical philosophy of "what if we learned to explore and define ourselves instead of doing the 'jobs' we're assigned and being told it's our nature?" Her decision to include queer people in a broadly queer cartoon isn't designed PRIMARILY as a battle against baddies, or to drown out all the relentless straightness, or to deliciously get our queer little paws all over their kids' TV. It's an act of love.
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So this is just to say that though I DO understand that sometimes subversion and intentional transgression are very necessary, I do not think that's the HEART of what's going on at this Gem wedding. We got a wholesome marriage scene between two of the most lovely little flawed-but-still-somehow-perfect characters, and I very much want to see their choices as being about them. About how Ruby feels in a dress. About how Sapphire feels about not having to always wear a dress. About them incorporating a symbol of their union into their separate lives so they can have some independence in their togetherness. About them celebrating their love by letting Steven wipe his schmaltz all over them.
There are many choices in the show that ARE carefully constructed to counter existing narratives, you know, giving the Crystal Gems' only boy all the healing, pink, flower imagery; having a single-sex species that's ladyish with all the members going by "she"; featuring many nurturing male characters who cry and cook and raise kids without mothers; pairing multiple fighty ladies with gentler guys; and importantly, intentionally loading up the show with stories, characters, and imagery any gender will find appealing despite being tasked with expectations to pander to the preteen boy demographic.
But it's very important to me that the inclusion of queer characters and the featuring of their choices be seen primarily as a loving act, and way way less of a "lol screw the bigots." I want our stories to be about us. Yes, I know it's a necessary evil that sometimes our stories are also about fighting Them. But every time I see someone say they put Ruby in the dress to "piss off the homophobes" or "stump the censors" I feel a little gross. Like the time I picked out an outfit I loved and my mom said I only dressed in such an obnoxious way to upset her, and I was baffled because my aesthetic choices, my opinions, my choices had nothing to do with her. Yet they were framed like I chose these clothes primarily to cause some kind of petty harm to her, when not only was it not true but I was not even that kind of person who would gloat over intentionally irritating someone.
The queerness of this show isn't a sneaky, underhanded act trying above all to upset a bigot or celebrate someone's homophobic fury. It lives for itself. Its existence is about itself. It's so we can see ourselves in a show, and it's so people who aren't queer or don't have those experiences can see that we exist, we participate, we want very similar things, and definitely are focusing way more about celebrating our love at our own weddings rather than relishing the thought of bigots tearing their hair out and hating us.
It's dangerous to turn every act of our love into a deliberate movement in a battle strategy when their weddings just get to be weddings.
I think there’s this idea that that [queer characters] is something that applies or should be only discussed with adults that is completely wrong. And I think when you realize that talking to kids about heteronormativity is just like air that you breathe all the time, it’s kind of amazing that that is not true in any other capacity. I think if you wait to tell kids, to tell queer youth that it matters how they feel or that they are even a person, then it’s going to be too late! You have to talk about it—you have to let it be what it gets to be for everyone. I mean, like, I think about, a lot of times I think about sort of fairy tales and Disney movies and the way that love is something that is ALWAYS discussed with children. And I think also there’s this idea that’s like, oh, we should represent, you know, queer characters that are adults, because there are adults that are queer, and you should know that’s something that is happening in the adult world, but that’s not how those films or those stories are told to children. You’re told that YOU should dream about love, about this fulfilling love that YOU’RE going to have. […] The Prince and Snow White are not like someone’s PARENTS. They’re something you want to be, that you are sort of dreaming of a future where you will find happiness. Why shouldn’t everyone have that? It’s really absurd to think that everyone shouldn’t get to have that! --Rebecca Sugar
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nthee · 2 months
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I DON'T KNOW IF I'MA SEE YOU AGAIN . . .
summary: a slight, or well, not-so-slight blunder led to the unfortunate events of him losing his memory — his memory of you and anything related to you.
characters: riddle roseherts, silver, lilia vanrouge
contains: angst with a bit of fluff, gender-neutral mc (uses second person view aka "you"), the reader blushes (described to be flushed)
notes: title is from see you again hehe :) i just thought it kind of had amnesia trope vibes idkkk dont ask me why atp, inspo comes from anywhere fr. also SURPRISE IM BACK let's ignore the fact that it's been 5 months tho i was so burnt out :(
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⌗ RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
“Let me help you with that. [...] What? You're staring.”
“Ah, it's... it's nothing, sorry.”
The close proximity is enough to make you go insane. Perhaps it's better if you just took the time to actually fix your tie this morning. That way, he wouldn't be so close! So close that...
Oh Seven, what if he hears my heartbeat?! Ack, calm down, calm down! I don't want to scare him of, what if he thinks it's — I'm creepy?!
“You seem flushed, [Name]. Are you alright?” his movement stills while holding onto your tie, and you mentally facepalm.
Riddle's hand makes its way to your forehead, the back of his hand pressing onto your skin, before realizing he's wearing gloves. He clears his throat at the mistake, opting to feel your temperature using the back of his wrist — the exposed skin between his sleeve and glove.
“Temperature is normal... a little bit warm, but nothing serious.”
“I'm alright! It's nothing, really.”
Too close, too close, too close!
Riddle retracts back, almost as if he could hear your pleas. He sighed, clearing his throat as his eyes wander around — look everywhere, anywhere but them, Riddle.
“I should — ah, we should get to class...” you reminded. You mirror his actions, averting your gaze.
“Right. Class.”
He offers an arm, one that you graciously take without a second thought. “Let me escort you there. I did hold you off for several minutes.”
Excuses! Riddle's mind yells. You're falling for them!
He doesn't care in the slightest — just as long as you're there to catch him. Though he knew you for a grand total of five days, he knows you'll be there.
⌗ SILVER
“Have I... met you before? I have, haven't I?”
A bittersweet laugh escapes your lips, startling Silver in front of you. You pull yourself together, smiling as you gaze into his eyes — the same eyes you'd lose yourself in, letting the time pass doing just that.
“Once upon a dream, right? That's what you were going to say?” you wipe a tear from the corner of your eye, thankful you laughed first before the waterworks arrived. Thank goodness, he can't see me sad.
Silver's eyes brightened, his eyelashes fluttering in disbelief. “It's... it's you. I meet you in my dreams! Everytime I close my eyes, I... I see you.”
His hands are softly holding yours as he speaks, his thumb tracing your skin delicately — like you were glass, or a treasure. It's enough to make you swoon, just as he's always done before.
“Don't leave my side.”
He thinks it's selfish to ask that from a stranger. But you are no stranger. You know the truth, but he suspects it's destiny — that you've actually met, talked, danced before, only well, it was in his very own dreamland.
You can feel the tears again. Maybe this isn't so bad? Or, at the very least, this isn't the end.
“I wouldn't even think of it.”
⌗ LILIA VANROUGE
“Are you a friend of Silver's? I don't think I've seen you around before.”
Those words were uttered before you could even process the initial news of Lilia's predicament — before your heart could even let it sink in.
You could only choke back the words threatening to slip off your tongue, lest it sound like utter crap to someone who just lost his memories.
You and I are more than friends. You play— well, played lighthearted tricks on me. I fell for them. I fell for you.
“You... could say that,” was all you could muster up. There was no point in explaining more, he wouldn't understand them.
There was understanding to his nod, a subconscious feeling of something nestled deep in his heart.
“Are you troubled? You seem to be.” his tone is soft, yet firm. Lilia had always been that way; a mentor, father (or, father-like to ones who don't know he was actually one), shoulder to cry on, wise fae to depend on...
A lover. Was a lover.
Now, all was left was Lilia before he even got to know you.
Lilia Vanrouge, a schoolmate of yours, once again.
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← | © nthee, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, adapt, and use my work in anything that associates directly with ai.
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cannibalbuffe · 2 months
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hi! I've honestly been craving some qpr headcanons with Alastor as someone who's also aroace! The concept piques my curiosity so much considering most of the stuff with him is purely romantic (no offense to those writers, I just wanna see more qpr stuff! :])
Of course! But do forgive me, annon, I got so carried away with this 😅. I just really like Alastor a lot.
I ended up writing some backstory to your relationship first, but I highlighted the start of the proper qpr headcanons if you feel like skipping that.
Obligatory I'm sorry if this is ooc, I'm still getting used to writing about these characters. This is also all based on my own perception of him.
(Also, I am aware that qprs are very different from one another and there is no single mold for a qpr, I'm just going off of what I think it would be like with Alastor.)
Uhh, I also finished this at 1 AM, so forgive any mistakes. And I'm pretty sure I changed the verb conjugations(? Is this how you say that in English?) from present to past at some point. Sorry. Enough with the A/Ns now. Hope you enjoy!
Alastor queerplatonic relationship headcanons
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(gender neutral reader, Alastor x reader)
‼️Trigger-warning‼️: mentions of cannibalism (not graphic), a single mention of tongue-kissing and making out (spoiler: he doesn't want either of those things in this work.) Usage of the word queer, but not as a slur. Alastor is a grandpa and you have to explain LGBTQ+ stuff to him, but he gets it.
› At first, before you were close, it's likely that he didn't see you as an equal.
› Truly, in his eyes, it seems not really is his equal. He is the most powerful overlord in hell and he knows it.
› Unless you are someone he holds in high regard (and this is mostly based on vibes, barely anything to do with power, as we can see by how he is with Lucifer of all people) before your first meeting, like Zestial, you won't be on equal footing at first.
› You only really start getting close when his perception of you shifts.
› You respect his boundaries, you are interesting, you and him share quite a few interests (or not really, but you're at least interested in hearing about his), and you're, surprisingly, pretty wise and mature.
› And caring. I personally believe he would be drawn to that in a way that he may not even understand fully- or realize it at all.
› Still, the point is. He respects you, and you respect him.
› (And not in the way some others do, where they're only "respectful" out of fear. You would act like this regardless of his power.)
› This, by the way, is important. You don't treat him like a superior, but as an equal.
› You'd think someone like him would love to be treated like a superior, and it's true. He very much does.
› But he has to admit to himself that it does feel nice whenever someone isn't shaking in their boots and can hold really good conversations with him while still not being pushy, annoying or just generally disrespectful.
› Anyways.
› Ever since you became friends (which took long), one could say, you just kept becoming closer and closer.
› You were the first one to be vulnerable with him, of course. It happened on accident, but you trusted him enough for that.
› You were also the first one to share any more intimate information with him. Something you wouldn't tell just anyone.
› Between this, your conversations, and maybe even helping each other around (honestly, he probably helps you more than you do him, but you always offer it and always in a sweet way, never condescending, and he appreciates that.)
› He eventually felt more comfortable sharing personal things with you too.
› (He may have distanced himself a bit when he realized this, but it was short-lived. You can't be without each other for so long, and you were pretty upset at his suddenly withdrawal. You may not have mentioned it to him, but he could tell, and as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt him to see you sad because of him.)
› This marks the beginning of the path toward your queerplatonic relationship.
› I mean, you didn't initially label it as such, but it definitely started there.
› Surprisingly, I feel like the first one to ever do any sort of affectionate gesture towards the other was him.
› You knew he didn't like to be touched, so you didn't.
› But! He just started getting more and more comfortable with touching you. At first it was hands on your shoulders, or putting his arm over them.
› I can even see a head pat or two, which he probably passed off as some sort of joke the first few times, but, if you liked them so much, just became a thing he does to you.
› And then one day you, completely absent-mindedly, intertwined your arm with his while walking around.
› When you noticed you had done it and he hadn't said anything, you questioned him about it.
› "Alastor, I'm sorry I didn't ask... is this alright?"
› "This?... Oh, you mean the arms? Ah, dear, don't worry, if it weren't I would have simply told you so!"
› From them on you only got more and more physically affectionate with each other. At first you would usually be the one to start it, but eventually you were both shockingly equal in doing so.
› (You still would always ask if you could touch him beforehand, but after a while he just gave you a free-pass.)
› Not a lot in public, though. Mostly just hand holding, or intertwining arms (if in public, that is.)
› Alastor also was so protective of you. You were the person he treasured most, after all.
› Well, demon.
› Even if you told him you were going to be okay, he would watch out nonetheless. He couldn't afford to lose you, not when he's never trusted and cared for a person this much.
› You two also cuddle a lot. You were the first one to ask, as usual, but now both of you feel weird sleeping alone.
› Alastor loves being the big spoon, if you're doing that.
› But he is also quite fond of occasionally being the little spoon, although he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it.
› A hobby you two do together is cooking. Cooking with Alastor is fun... especially if you're okay with cannibalism.
› But if you don't like that, he won't insist, of course.
› He's pretty good at cooking, though! If you're also good at it, then great. If not, he'll tease you about it (in a friendly way), but still teach you.
› On teasing, he teases you quite a bit, but never in a mean way. If you don't mind, of course.
› You also may tease him occasionally, but he doesn't appreciate you teasing him in public.
› The two of you also have a good amount of inside jokes that probably confuse the hell out of the others.
› Kissing... well. I don't really see Alastor as the type who would enjoy kissing on the lips too much.
› Tongue is out of question for him, as well as any sort of making out, but otherwise... if you like it, he can do that for you.
› He might actually like a peck or two. An acquired taste for him. Don't overdo it, though.
› Of course, him being from the 1930s and not very familiar with anything LGBTQ+ related, he would, at first, be somewhat confused by the request.
› You would probably have to explain to him that nothing is inherently romantic, especially not if you don't want it to be.
› "A kiss on the lips? Well... we aren't courting, Y/n."
› "We can put our own meanings to things, though. Would you like this kiss to be romantic?"
› "Definitely not!"
› "Well, me neither. So it's not!"
› "... That is very sound logic! I can't believe I've never thought of this myself."
› Kisses on the rest of the face are something else, though. He does enjoy it whenever you kiss him on the cheek. He himself might occasionally kiss you on the forehead.
› But overall I don't think he's big on kissing.
› If you want to really solidify that you're in a queerplatonic relationship you'd also have to explain what that means to him, sorry.
› Again, he's old and not up to date with things.
› Thankfully he understands things easily.
› "I see... I suppose we do have quite the queer relationship, don't we? And it is certainly platonic. I don't see why not!"
› Going back to vulnerability. It will never feel fully natural for him to just be vulnerable with you — or anyone else, for the matter.
› (In case you couldn't tell, he's using the word queer as meaning odd (and doing a little pun. You know. Because it's a. Queerplatonic relationship. Queer. Hehehehe), as it defies the norm of what a platonic relationship usually looks like, despite being one.)
› But you know him well enough at this point to recognize whenever there's something going on with him.
› And if you show concern and give him enough time he will share whatever it is with you.
› If it's not anything too big he might even reach out to you first.
› He can also read you like a book and gives surprisingly good advice, and is also pretty good at comforting you.
› You are the only person allowed at his studio while he's live on the radio. You usually read as he speaks in the background, his voice is very relaxing. He enjoys having you around.
› He's also particularly gentlemanly to you, more than to the others. When you're with him you never have to open a single door yourself, for one. If it's raining, he'll hold the umbrella for the two of you. When walking together on the sidewalk, he's always on the side closest to the street instead of you.
› You two often go out for dinner. If you also fancy some cannibalism, he will definitely show you his favorite restaurants around. If not he will just pick the best non-cannibal places (but you know those are not his favorites, haha.)
› He just cares about you a lot, even if it took him long to admit (it may have seemed fast-paced during this, but Alastor is someone who really takes long to get close to.)
› And you care about him lot too!
› (And you're probably never going to be in a life-threatening situation again, at least not at the hands of most demons. Who would ever want trouble with Alastor?)
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kalki-tarot · 6 months
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How will you meet your Future husband or wife?
Pick a pile 💕
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Disclaimer — The images I use to select a pile are from Pinterest, I hope the readings will resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun. Tarot is not 100% accurate and does not replace medical treatment and diagnosis.
Masterlist for more!
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Pile 1
Just before meeting them, you'd be having many things to do. There would be so many things or tasks in your hands just before meeting them. Your day might go very sad and weird. You'd feel a need of balance just before meeting them.
This is a very specific message for someone, but you'll have two options to select from which bus or train you wanna reach your destination by. Divine timing and intervention would take place and you'd choose that bus in which your fs might also be present. And you'll meet them in the bus or a train for the first time. Or you can also meet them at the place you reach after travelling. You can meet them while traveling to some other city or place.
You might've done a lot of shadow work and emotional healing before meeting them. You've become very strong by the time you meet your fs. I'm so proud of you pile 1.
You might randomly talk about finances or about work with them. They'd seem so rich and wealthy to you or vice versa. You'll feel an emotional connect with them on the first meet as if you both have known each other since many lifetimes.
They'd see you as someone very caring and emotional. We have the lovers card here with the tower which suggests me two things. First, They may fall in love with you at first sight. And second is they might have some bad past related to their love life.
They may not approach you directly. They're stopping themselves as they've been hurt in the past before. They are so guarded around you. But they definitely love you. They'll gather strength and release fears regarding love and approach you. Just give them some space and time. Don't rush things.
Pile 2
When you first meet them, they might wear a tuxedo or a suit. And they might also be drinking some kind of drink the time they meet you. I think it's a party where you both meet. I get strong libra placements by the justice and two of swords.
You might go to a party and you might meet them there. You probably lied to your parents about this. (I'm not judging anyone, this is what's coming.) Your friends might make you agree to come to this party. It's a fated event. For some of you, This could also be someone's wedding. For instance, you went to a wedding with your friends you didn't thought you would. But you meet them there.
This person might come across as careless or even a playboy with many girlfriends but in reality this person is a hard worker, and very career oriented. They don't get time to think about girls. But when they see you they'd think that you are a freakin' reward from god for their hard work they've been doing all this time.
This person sees you as their treasure, someone they wanna protect as you're like a prize to them. This person can be famous in whatever field they're in. They have many eyes on them online/irl.
This person will blindly fall in love with you. They may not know whether to pursue you or not. They're indecisive about you. The hierophant came, this is a confirmation that you might meet in a wedding or some ceremony.
Pile 3
You might meet them on a cruise/ship or when the timing is right. Universe will lead you both towards each other. You may also know them from childhood or past. You may even shared a past life with this person. I think you or this person will manifest your union with each other. This is a very romantic connection! This person may belong to a place where there are mountains and rivers.
This person is very caring, loyal, honest and committed. You're lucky to have them. This person can be your romantic soulmate. 22 and 66 may be significant. You may be seeing this angel number or will see before meeting them.
This person definitely had a bad past in love or family. They may come across as rude or cold at first but this world's cruelty made them like this. Very heartbroken energy from this person's side. Someone betrayed them or lied to them. They got cheated and their idea of love changed. But this person is moving moving forward and working on himself. He's slowly leaving his past behind.
This person loves you very much. No matter what this person will love you. They're so sweet and loving. They see in your deep water like eyes and wonder about a lot of things. This person is very emotionally connected to you. They see you as their wish fulfillment. You are the brightest star in their sky. They find you very nurturing and caring. They love your giving nature. I can't describe how emotional and romantic this energy is! Very beautiful and loving. Wow!
Pile 4
You can meet them near water, lake, sea or beach. Your current energy seems very indecisive about a lot of things. You can meet them when you are at crossroads in life. Or when you're emotionally detached from everything. This person will randomly appear in your life like a thunderbolt when you least expect it. This person or you may be 20-35 years old when meeting eachother. You may meet them in a few days or 6-12 months, as we have 2 of swords and 6 of pentacles here.
You'll meet them when you're going through a big transformation in your life. Cycles in your life might be ending at that moment. This person will bring happiness in your life.
This person can be your divine counterpart as we have 2 of cups and lovers card. They're very romantic and caring.
You need to work on your fears before meeting them. Do some shadow work. Be aware of what holds you back and restrains you from finding love in your life. Leave the past and move forward in life. It's time for a change.
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ch3rriiii-bunn · 1 year
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Just like them
With Hantengus clones♡ AHHH THIS IS PROBABLY THE CUTEST IDEA I CAME UP WITH
Warnings: female bodied reader, demon reader, harpy reader (on Urogi's part), reader is mentioned to have darker skin and thicker hair, slightly suggestive(?), fluff, mention of other uppermoons
Aizetsu
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Aizetsu met you through douma. He found you, a demon with skin more melanated and one horn who didn't like to be around humans or demons. Douma decided to introduce you to a demon who is similar to you. His name is Aizetsu
Aizetsu's first impression of you was just as negative as yours. "You're not an upper rank? You must've run into some strong slayers... how sad," he frowned. You frowned as well. "It's a pity, but you're an upper rank, meaning you'd have to run into the hashira... it's terrifying, isn't it?" You look up at Aizetsu as his eyebrows knit at your response
Aizetsu decided to listen to douma on taking you in. Not just because douma is an upper rank, but because he didn't think he'd feel some happiness to be around another demon like him, it felt like a gift. He introduced you to his brothers, but you've always been quiet around them, feeling envy you can't have emotions like that too
Aizetsu was calm like you, which made you feel safer around him. The two of you would relate a lot to each other, which brought you closer, "I hate when Sekido yells at me. He's so mean, " you say with tears filling your water line. Aizetsu comes closer to you, also having the same sad expression, "me too... but I'd never yell at you, " he says and cups your cheek
Aizetsu only smiled around you, not all the time but once in a while. "Can we stay together forever? I don't want you to leave me, " he said with a trembling voice, holding back tears. "I can't leave you. My heart would break," you said, hugging him tightly and crying, making Aizetsu hug you back, crying as well
Sekido
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Sekido met you, though, akaza. Despite akaza hating anyone weaker than him, he had some respect for Upper Moon 4 and found a demon, you who's a lot like Sekido
Sekido and you would bump heads a lot since both of you are easily angered and didn't take any shit from each other. "I'm much stronger than you! How dare you speak to me like that, let alone make that face at me, " he says, raising his voice. You snarl. "And how dare you, a man, speak to a woman like me like that. I don't give a damn if you're stronger. " You raise your voice back
Sekido gets very frustrated with you since he met someone who had the same level as anger as him, but oddly, that drew him closer to you. He couldn't help but smirk whenever you'd boss his brothers around and called them out on their stupidity. Finally, he'd met someone with common sense even if you were a pain in his ass
Sekido would always bring up how he's stronger and would kill you at any time he wished, but it always ends up being empty threats because he actually felt some enjoyment having you around
Sekido makes sure he's alone with you to hold your hand and look away from you. "The fuck are you doing now?" You said looking at him "Shut up. I'm just enjoying you're presents around me. Stupid woman, " he says, and you see his ears turning red. You chuckle "I enjoy your presents too, you stupid man"
Karaku
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Karaku had met you through gyokko. You reminded him of another demon he knew and decided to bring you back to meet him, and boy, were you excited to meet the demon named Karaku
Karaku loved you immediately, and you loved him right back. "Wow, you're gorgeous! I haven't met any other demons with this skin tone as me and my brothers" Karaku laughs, having his arm around you. "Why thank you, and your hair is thick like mine too. It's very handsome if i might say"
Karaku and you would flirt back and forth even in front of his brothers, which would make sekido yell at you both. If you went on missions with Karaku and his brothers, you would get scolded just as much as Karaku by sekido for giving each other the most wicked ideas just for "fun" instead of taking your fights with slayers seriously
Karaku had a habit of always sticking his tounge at you if you ever got mad or upset to cheer you up and you couldn't help but always smile sticking your tounge out back at him and even sometimes putting your tounge on his making you both laugh
Karaku likes to cuddle with you under the moonlight alone. You have your arms around him as well with smile and close your eyes, resting your head on his chest. "I love you. Can i be your girlfriend?" You ask bluntly but still feeling flustered at your own question. "You were mine from the start, pretty girl"
Urogi
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Urogi had a fight with his brothers for the first time ever and flew out of the house for a while to clear his head that day, but he never regretted that because he met you
Urogi was shocked to meet you but was really happy. "Wow! I never met a male harpy! your eyes say upper 4" You gasped and clenched your claws together and covered your mouth "Wow you're an upper rank! That's so freaking cool, dude!". The rush of excitement came to Urogi, and he had the biggest smile on his face. "I don't know what a harpy is, but yeah! And me? You look so freaking cool, too! Your wings are gorgeous!"
Urogi made it his priority to meet up with you after that day whenever he was done a mission and sometimes even brought you around his brothers. His favorite thing to do with you was to lock your talons together and fly high in the night sky
Urogi loved how you felt just as much joy in fighting humans as him and would even made it a game to torture random demon slayers you'd find and play catch with them with your bird like feet in the sky, laughing at their screams
Urogi is a big cuddler and didn't miss the chance to cuddle with you since you loved to cuddle to but never found the right demon to do that with until you met him. You two would be cuddling, facing each other with your arms and legs wrapped around each other and your wings covering you both. "Hey, stay with me forever. I don't think I'd feel joy if you left. I'm strong. I can protect you, " he says."I wasn't planning on flying anywhere with you, " you smiled.
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weird-is-life · 3 months
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helloo! okay this might be a long request so buckle up. idea for spencer based off of my day; let it be know that i relate to spence, even if I have a "low" iq, what i mean is, I ramble. and watching people shut down spencer when he's about to rant always made me sad (obviously). but i realized it's because that happens to me. I'm a very geeky person so i get passionate and i understand why people would shut me down (still hurts tho). but today one of my friends asked a question it was about simpler animals and what the difference was. me loving animals and knowing the answer, well I spoke up but immediately got talked over about something not relevant. my real idea is, what if spencer had someone that rambled with him and appreciated his rants. like i think it'd be cute and they don't have to rant about the same thing, just both like in the corner talking absurdly fast together. and the team probably rolling their eyes. maybe??? (sorry if it was to personal) hope you have a great dayyy!!
Hiii lovely, ty for the request💕!! Hope this is okay, warnings: fluff, like one pet name (0.6k)
Sometimes Hotch kind of regrets hiring you (not really, you're a great  addition to the team and everybody loves you), but when he sees you and Spencer together, the thought crosses his mind.
What he really does regret, is putting your desk and Spencer's desk next to each other. Big, big, big mistake.
You and Spencer are hunched over something at your desk, talking very quickly, as you two often do. Hotch finds your conversations, against his better judgement, cute. But not when he's trying to start a meeting and you two can't seem to notice.
He and the team see this on a regular basis, it's nothing new, that you and Spencer talk and talk about something, anything, completely in your own world.
Your conversations are still the same just like the first time, you and Spencer met. Maybe they got even worse. You two can ramble on and on for hours like it's nothing.
And you love it. You love talking to Spencer. The topic of your conversation is never a problem, you can talk about anything and nothing at the same time.
Just the fact, that you can talk to each other without being talked over, interrupted or hushed down is everything to you and to him.
Spencer feels the same. He loves talking to you. Your sweet, sweet voice makes it even better. He loves even just listening to you talk, it's maybe his favourite thing in the world.
Especially, when you two talk about the most silly, random stuff, while lying in the bed late at night. Chuckling and rambling without a care in the world. Maybe he loves it so much, because the team doesn't know about it. It's like something sacred between just you and him.
That's definitely his happy place, just you two having a quiet conversations with sleepy voices.
"Spence, have you read this book before?" you ask, pointing at the book lying on your desk.
"Oh," Spencer's face lights up with recognition," I have. It's really good, right?"
"I don't know, I haven't started it yet. I want to, but I can't bring myself to read it after a day full of work," you say to Spencer.
"I-I could read it to you?" he hesitantly offers.
"Spence, it's almost 800 pages long...." you chuckle at his offer.
"I don't mind," he quickly responds.
You think about it, but not for too long. You don't really need convincing, not when it comes to Spencer.
"Well, okay then. But only if you really want to," you give him a smile.
"I want to," he reassures you," and i do have some suggestions...."
"Like what?"
"Like books, that are similar to this. If you like this one, I could lend them to you-" Spencer's fast rambling gets interrupted, but not by you, never by you.
"Yo, lovebirds, we'd be very happy to let you talk about whatever nonsense you're talking about, but we all want to have this meeting over with. So if you'd be so kind to join us, that'd be nice," Derek basically yells at you from the conference room's doorway, making everybody in the room look at you and Spencer.
Your cheeks go a bit pink at Derek's words, you haven't realised that they were waiting on you and Spencer.
"Relax Derek, we're coming," Spencer says back loudly, " come on sweetheart, let's go there before they get mad at us," Spencer tells you, rolling his eyes over Derek's words.
"We'll talk about the book more later, yeah?" Spencer promises.
"Later?"
"I could come over tonight?" Spencer unsurely proposes.
"That'd be great, I'd love that," you'd never pass an opportunity to spend time with Spencer and getting to listen to him talk.
Somebody would maybe find reading to each other boring, but you and Spencer would never. It's like your love language.
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cadavercrafts · 1 month
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I hate to start drama so please forgive me, but why would you create a figure of a character (Valentino) that is a rapist? Even if they're fictional, I think it sends a really bad message.
No offense taken at all, anon, but this will be a long one! I heard of other people who like villains getting similar messages but i've never gotten one myself despite all the things i've made fanart for in the past. So i'm almost happy to talk about this?
It's 100% fine to hate certain fictional characters and just not wanting to see them at all. I think many people (especially with trauma) can relate to seeing a character in media that just makes them feel sick, i sure know some! But you're also talking to a dedicated horror nerd here. I have an expensive action figure of a monster-pregnant half skinned man in my shelf, anon. Rape doesn't even BEGIN to cover what some of the characters i like have been doing in their little fake freakworlds.
I love to explore horror and dark themes because fiction gives you a space to do this in a secure controlled environment and that's why it's so wonderful. We all have different levels of hard topics we can handle but if something is too much for you you can step away, shut it off and you are free and safe. No, i would not enjoy to be skinned alive for real and i don't think it's a very nice thing to do to others either, i have zero sympathy or interest in real life criminals. But Hellraiser is still a neat book!
I'm an adult and I'm able to freely chose what kind of themes and media i want to interact with and so are you. I mean, i don't know if you're an adult, but you have the power to chose regardless. My nickname is CADAVERcrafts and i made so so so so much fanart for awful villains before, ones who did way worse things than Valentino. Ripping heads off, killing kids, eating people- you know, the usual! I'm afraid you're not gonna like many things i'll make in the future but i always tag everything so you can absolutely avoid it by putting it on your blacklist. No Valentino jumpscares on your dash from me!
To be quite honest i thought of a lot of kinda funny dismissive replies at first but i don't want to shit on people who are genuinly upset. If you want something trigger tagged in the future just shoot me a message, i like to claim i'm not nearly as much of an asshole as the characters i make in clay. And if you just can't stand it then unfollow me, throw me in the bin! I'm just some online weirdo, you don't need me in your life if my works make you sad. Toss it, it's cool, this is your playzone and you get to decide who gets in!
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allisonlol · 10 months
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HII !! could you do dazai, chuuya and fyodor with a s/o that forgot pretty much everything from their past/forgets a lot in the present due to trauma? if possible male reader, and if not gn works aswell! thank you :))
a/n: felt this req hard LOL
warnings: memory loss, past trauma (not elaborated on)
(Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor) With a S/O with Memory Loss From Trauma
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Dazai
i feel like dazai can relate in some ways because he too has immense trauma but instead of forgetting it, he remembers it too well
therefore in a way he's grateful that ur brain is blocking those memories so u don't have to remember the pain
dazai had noticed your forgetful behavior the second he met you, and had already categorized it as due to trauma in your past
honestly finds your forgetfulness adorable but it also enrages him bc someone hurt you enough to cause it
simply does not comment on any of this though. if you mention that you forgot something that happened literally yesterday he'll simply smile at you (is that a hint of sadness in his expression?) and reassure u that it's okay
will text u updates throughout the day to make sure u aren't forgetting anything
pictures pictures pictures!!!! literally photographs everything u guys do together so you can always look back to remember :)
but unbeknownst to you, dazai will secretly do some deep digging into your past to find out exactly what happened and who to get revenge on <3
^trust me when i say they will deeply regret everything they had ever done to you
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Chuuya
it's canon that chuuya can't remember what... the first 7 years of his life? so he totally understands
he won't question u at all abt the reasonings for your memory loss unless u wanted to talk abt it
does get worried abt your current forgetfulness though. with a job as strenuous as being in the mafia, having a good memory is important
^if any of the higher ups knew you weren't "sufficient enough" in that department, despite your other strengths, you would be disposed of
this added stress doesn't help you at all but chuuya does his best to keep you safe
^having a boyfriend who is also your executive is very useful in this aspect
leaves little notes and reminders on your desk so u won't forget anything important
hell, chuuya will even fill out reports for you if u were having trouble remembering the events that took place
i feel like he would also pay very close attention to everything u guys do together so, if you forgot, he would be able to tell you all about it
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Fyodor
another one who categorized your memory loss as due to trauma the second he met you
unlike the others tho, he will question u about it
if you’re honest with him & say that it’s due to traumatic events, he’ll ask if you want him to do anything about it for you (in other words, find and eliminate the ones who caused it 😊)
^if you say no to this, he’ll nod and agree with u but secretly hunt them down on his own
however if you lie to fyodor and say that you’re just forgetful (not due to trauma) he’ll frown & keep asking probing questions until he gets the truth out of u
has he heard of privacy? like damn
^its out of love tho. not saying it’s right but fyodor shows his care by learning as much abt u as possible. he needs to know everything, good or bad
finds your current forgetfulness adorable, albeit irritating at times (remember who we’re talking abt here)
if you forgot an event or important piece of information he will get slightly annoyed with you & might say some insensitive things 😬
^tho once he sees that he’s upset you, fyodor will usually sigh and apologize
recommends u keep a journal for reminders, however he also logs all events that u do alone or together so you won’t forget in the future
taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @scul-pted @exorcisedstraydog @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @dreaming-of-ambedo @nervousyetconfidentway @beautiful-is-boring @irethepotato @serenareiss @thescrunkly @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @disa-ster
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