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warriorofthought · 1 month

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I did love you, always!

Summary: Bucky broke up with you but the Winter Soldier still loves you.

Word count: 3103

Warnings: sad, sentimental Feelings

Winter Soldier x Reader

You and Bucky broke up recently, even though you always supported him, even through his Winter soldier phase. It didn't even take two weeks before he got together with Sharon. that made you angry, hurt, betrayed.

You were at Bucky’s house because you had to get your stuff, and you both began to argue again because of Sharon.

"At least she treats me like I'm somebody!" he snapped.

"Yeah, I do too but would she love you if you were the winter soldier?!" You yell back.

"Nobody loved me when I was the winter soldier!”

"I do, i did" you mumble and turn around to put clothes from the shelf in a box.

He stops and just stares at you. You can't tell if he heard it. You look at him.

You stare at each other for a few seconds and you wonder whether it's even something to say now.

You wait for him to reply, maybe you shouldn't have said anything, now that you realize you might have spoken out of impulse.

He walks up to you.

"What did you say?”

"you have heard me!" You say a bit annoyed.

"I love you, even when you change back into the Winter soldier. The winter soldier is not a complete monster, he is also loveable." You sigh.

"But that doesn't matter anymore" you shake your head disappointed and hurt.

He stares at you and seems to be thinking.

His grip tightens on his fists. He's angry, frustrated, upset.

Then he sighs.

"You don't know what you're saying and you're just saying this because you're upset."

He seems to be thinking again, then he continues.

"If i was the winter soldier, you would hate me too.”

"I would not, i have seen you many times as the winter soldier and i didn't hate you, i love you it doesn't matter which one you are. The Winter soldier loves me, the same as you do. He wouldn't kill me." You say and finish up packing your clothes.

"How do you know?" he asks. He's curious now, maybe he's starting to reconsider.

"You don't know that. You say you love me no matter what, but I don't believe you. You're just saying it because you're angry. Because you can't stand me being with Sharon.”

"Yeah, I can't stand you being with Sharon." You snap.

"But I'm the only one that can change you back into Bucky when you go back into Winter Soldier, Sharon can't protect you from that, the Winter soldier, you. He will kill her."

Before Bucky can say anything Sharon steps into the apartment, his new love.

You glare at Sharon, who's got her hands all over Bucky.

"She can protect herself, she's a trained SHIELD agent." Bucky is getting defensive now.

"And I can protect her if she needs me to. She understands this. She's not afraid. We're in love, and she trusts me."

Bucky's really falling for Sharon's charms now.

"Bucky, you don't need to pretend you love someone else, just because you are scared." You say gentle. " We both can manage that, we can work on that, together."

He stays silent for a bit.

"I'm not pretending anything. With her, it's..." you can hear the joy in his voice.

"You don't know what it's like when I'm with her, to feel her touch, to hear her smile... It's different with her, I actually want to be with her.”

You grab your last items and then walk to the front door. " I hope you won't regret that" you say and leave.

He lets you leave, knowing how stubborn you can be when you're upset. But he will regret it. He already does.

He sits down on the couch in silence. He should go after you, he shouldn't have let you leave like this.

But then Sharon comes and sits right next to him, putting her arms around his neck, clinging to him.

Timeskip (Three weeks later, you get a call from Sam, telling you Bucky changed back into the Winter soldier and that he is currently destroying the SHIELD base. Sams wants you to come quickly because nobody comes through to the Winter soldier or Bucky. You sigh but still go to the SHIELD base to see what is happening, you even see Sharon there but the Winter Soldier doesn't seem to like her. You stop beside Sam who looks happy to see you here.)

Sam smiles at you, relieved to see you. He knows you're one of the only people who Bucky would actually care to listen to.

The Winter Soldier is destroying the SHIELD base, tearing things apart and shouting.

Sharon's nearby, but Bucky seems to have forgotten about her.

"I thought he wouldn't get near Hydra again, that all of you didn't let him go destroying the hydra base as a mission. How wrong did go your last mission?" you say softly to sam.

Sam shrug his shoulders .

"He was on a mission to destroy a hydra base, the one right here, but apparently something went wrong."

You glance at the Winter Soldier. He's still breaking things and shouting. Sam sighs.

"Sharon's trying to talk to him, so far he's not interested..."

"No wonder, Winter doesn't like her" you grumble with a sigh.

Sam sights too.

"He's not usually this bad when he changes back" he explains.

"This time it's different because of... You know..."

"Because of our break up?" You ask gentle.

"Is he not happy with being with Sharon?"

Sam nods. "He's not happy, and he's not handling his emotions well. And the fact that he's still with Sharon... He's confused, he's trying to deny his feelings for you and it's... just making his mind a mess."

You sigh " I will handle that."

Then you step into the room where Sharon and the Winter Soldier are. Sharon looks like a mess.

The Winter Soldier doesn't even blink when you walk in. He's got a look of determination on his face, and his eyes are fixed on Sharon who is trying to talk to him, but Bucky's not interested.

Sharon's hair is all out of place, she looks scared and desperate.

"Winter, do you really need to be so mean to her?" You ask gently and walk closer.

The Winter Soldier stares at you, his eyes filled with rage and frustration.

"Maybe I do. Maybe I want to be mean to her."

Sharon looks at you, and at first it's relief, but she slowly understands that you're not going to defend her.

"Is it because Bucky wants to be with her and you don't?"

The Winter Soldier looks like he suddenly realizes something.

You notice that he's slightly distracted from the idea of hurting Sharon and actually looking at you.

He raises his voice.

"Bucky wants to be with Sharon, but I hate her..."

You slowly nod. But as you want to answer the jet sways a bit and you all stumble a little to the side as the jet tilts to the side.

You don't see how a few metal pipes threaten to fall on you and before that happens, the Winter Soldier is with you and protects you from the falling pipes with his metal arm.

You're shocked by his sudden change of behavior, and also by his sudden reaction. He protects you, making sure you're safe. His reaction is much quicker than yours, or anyone else's and it's clear that all his attention is now on you.

"Winter" you say lovely, your soft eyes meet his. He doesn't change back into Bucky but you see the love that the Winter Soldier has for you.

His eyes meet yours and you feel like he's looking into your soul. The love and affection in his eyes...

He's still standing in front of you, protecting you.

You can feel his warmth and his closeness.

Sharon is looking at you two, her look of desperation gone now, replaced by something else...

"Winter, thank you." You whisper softly.

He nods slightly, clearly understanding that you're thanking him.

Sharon's starting to look angry and jealous now. She's clearly noticed that he paid no attention to her, and was completely focused on you.

This time Sharon starts to mock you.

She points at you and laughs.

"He's just pretending to care about you. He doesn't love you, he doesn't even like you. He's with me, not with you!" it pains you to hear her say those things, to see the contempt in her eyes and hear the jealousy in her voice.

"Yeah, Bucky is in a relationship with you. But that doesn't mean that the Winter Soldier also wants that" you say calm.

Then you all stumble again as the jet swings in the other direction. Winter immediately stabilizes your stand.

You keep talking to him without even reacting to the movement or the danger. You know Winter will always have your back.

Sharon rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Do you really think he'll choose you over me? He needs someone in his life and you're not even there for him. He wants a real relationship, a real woman, not someone like you!"

“I don't care about your opinion, the only thing that is important is that Winter and even Bucky feels comfortable.”

She stares down at the ground, her jaw clenched and her face flushed with anger.

You wonder if she's realizing that her relationship with him isn't as secure as she thought…

Sharon laughs again.

"You're so stupid if you actually believe that. Just look at him! He's in love with me, not with you."

You notice her tone change from mocking to one filled with anger and jealousy.

The jet wobbles even more and Winter has to tighten his grip on you to keep both of you standing. The Winter Soldier keeps protecting you, making sure you don't fall and get hurt.

Before you can react Sharon points her gun at you, your eyes weiden slightly surprised that she would do that infront of everyone else. You even can hear Sam grasp surprised.

The Winter Soldier notices too and immediately raises his arm to block the bullet with his metal arm.

His eyes flare when he realizes someone's pointing a gun at you and he won't let that happen.

Sharon is surprised that the bullet doesn't hit you and glares at Bucky who is protecting you.

Sharon yells at you. Then Winter grabs you, you don't even manage to do something else and flee with you out of the big jet towards a helicopter.

The Winter Soldier moves quickly and efficiently, and before anyone can react he's managed to carry you towards a helicopter.

You're stunned at his speed and agility, but you also notice how much he's paying attention to you.

By now Sharon must've realized that she lost.

The Winter Soldier is in charge. Not Bucky.

You can feel his warmth in your arms. His strength as he carries you to the helicopter and then lowers you in. He still stays protecting you, keeping you safe.

Sharon is behind the helicopter, still staring at you with jealousy and contempt but she no longer seems like the same person.

The Winter Soldier seems almost loving towards you, his anger turned into affection.

"Winter?, are you telling me, where we are going?" You ask and let him buckle up the seatbelt around your body and watch him start the helicopter.

The Winter Soldier is focused on starting the helicopter, and he doesn't respond for a bit. He looks at you and you notice his expression is different. The rage is gone.

He's thinking, and you also realize that he's actually considering what he's going to say for once.

Then he finally speaks.

"We're going home.”

"home?" You mumble and watch him drive the helicopter away from SHIELD.

"Yes." his voice is even more gentle now but there is still the roughness in it, his expression has softened.

He focuses on flying the helicopter.

"Home, and then we'll talk.”

Timeskip (A few hours later. He lands the helicopter on a farm that is his.)

The Winter Soldier lands the helicopter next to his Farmhouse.

This is definitely his safe place, you can feel the peace and the comfort.

He turns around to look at you.

"We need to talk.” You nod and sit down on the couch. The Winter Soldier also sits down in front of you, close enough that it feels like he wants to have physical contact with you.

He is still in control, not Bucky.

So far everything is different from before, you can feel how much he's calmed down, how much he likes being this close to you.

"I wanted to apologize…”

"for that what Bucky did? You can't control your other side, Winter. Bucky and you are both in this body, I don't know why Bucky suddenly stopped loving me but It's not your fault, Winter.”

He smiles slightly. Then he moves closer so that his leg is touching yours. His eyes are intense but soft, as if he's really paying attention to every little word you say.

You have to resist the urge to move a little bit closer.

Then he replies.

"I know I can't control the other side, but I did hurt you.. and I'm sorry…”

You smile softly and cup the face of the Winter Soldier softly.

You slightly wish he would stay being the Winter Soldier, loving you further. You missed him so much, you don't care how rough his side that hydra had caused is because he always is so soft to you, only to you. Bucky himself will go back to Sharon. But this wish is unethical and mean of you to think. You sigh.

"I love you, i haven't stopped doing that.”

His expression softens even more as you cup his face.

He feels your hand against his cheek, your fingers gently moving along his jawline.

He leans his head just slightly to the side, leaning a little bit more into your touch.

His hand is moving, reaching out and he's just about to caress your hand, but then he stops, hesitating.

He bites his lip, his gaze lingering on your hand.

He is still the winter soldier, but he's definitely more in love with you than Bucky ever was…

"My Winter, my love. I have missed you so much." You say lovely and put your forehead against his, breathing his scent in. Your hand intertwined with his flesh hand.

The winter soldier doesn't reply, but his arm moves slightly, his fingers wrapping around your hand and holding it tightly.

You are both very close and you can almost feel him wanting to draw you closer, pull you to him and bury his face into your neck, but he stops, resisting the urge.

His eyes are deep and passionate, he really missed you and his love for you is shining through them. He's breathing a little bit harder, and you can feel his heartbeat increasing.

"Tell me, do you know that i love you Winter, i love the Winter soldier, i even love you as Bucky. Especially, i love you, your heart, your soul. I don't care how the other sees you, I see you as something special.”

He squeezes your hand, as if you didn't even need to tell him, as if he always knew that you loved him.

Your words have reassured him though, and his heart beats a little slower, his breathing becomes more relaxed.

He wants to say it back to you, to tell you how much he loves you.

But he's still struggling with his identity. He's still deciding which is the stronger side.

"I love you too..." he whispers.

Your heart warms immediately, having missed to hear this words out of his mouth.

And suddenly, he pulls you closer. He leans his head against your shoulder and wraps his arms around you, his grip tight and loving.

He smells like the farm, like open air and fresh grass.

He's holding you, so close and protecting you.

He's the winter soldier, and he doesn't want to let you go.

“I hated what Bucky did to you, he feared things, but that doesn't give him the right to push you away, my lovely flower. I hated it that he tried to suppress me, hated it that he stayed with this woman. I don't like her. Sharon is not you, she doesn't have this glimmer in her eyes as you have when you look at me.” his voice is rough but soft at the same time and it sends a shiver down your spine.

You hug him back and softly pet his back.

“Don't worry, we have enough time to figure this out.” You say lovely and lean your forehead against his.

He hugs you even tighter, burying his face in your neck, and breathing in your scent.

He has finally decided. The winter soldier is in control. Not Bucky. The moment he's been wishing for has finally come.

He's not struggling with his identity anymore. He knows who he is.

His hand touches your face, gentle, caressing.

"I'm not letting you go. I don't want to share you with anyone anymore.”

His voice is filled with affection as he looks at you.

"I've missed you. I've missed being with you. I've missed feeling you..."

He leans his head against you again, and your breath is intermixed.

Sharon definitely cannot compare to you in his eyes, she was always just a replacement for you. He doesn't even want to think about her right now.

His arms are still around you, and your body is pressing against his. It feels so natural that you almost want to stay like this forever…

"I know she's not you." his voice is even rougher now, almost feral.

He presses his face into your neck, his lips just below your ear.

"She's nothing compared to you... I hate her."

He holds you tighter and you can feel the pure hatred and possessiveness coming out of his every pore.

This is the Winter Soldier's way to tell you how much you mean to him.

"I don't want to turn back into Bucky. I want to stay the Winter Soldier with you.”

“Winter, we will figure it out soon. Alright?”

You feel him nod against you, then he moves his body on the sofa and quickly pulls you into his embrace.

You know someday you have to let the Winter Soldier change back into Bucky, but for now you can enjoy your love back in your arms, healing your heart.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x you #winter soldier protecting #the winter soldier #winter solider x y/n #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier fluff #happiness

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veintrry · 2 months

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I'VE DONE THE MATH

there's no solution.

synopsis: love with scara is hard

an: have you guessed this is a laufey ref, I just felt like writing something lovey but I like angst too much. also... hey teehee also shoutout ayame for getting me out of my slumber <3

Scaramouche and you have always held a complicated relationship. Even your friendship was confusing, in the sense that it was deeper than most. Maybe not necessarily romantic, but it certainly wasn't exclusively platonic. You two relied on each other, and you understood one another in a way that went past words. You didn't need to speak for himbto know what you thought. It was seamless. You and him had gone through hell and back together, so when your connection bloomed into that of something more than friends it was practically nothing but perfection.

It was beyond that. You had glee on your heart each time you saw the indigo of his irises and knowing that someone loved you. It was fulfilling having an anchor that kept you at the bay that had grown so familiar. The joys of not needing to say those three words, and the feeling that everything is going to be fine, as long as you have each other. And you were content. You believed he was too. But, you felt his attention drift. And the acts of affections, the gifts, and touches you attempted to make to maintain what you had, or what was left of it, were fruitless. You wrote endless words of expression, trying to make him see that emotion between you two once more, but nothing would come back. At best, acknowledgement. At worst, ignored. Practically forgotten like you were nothing.

You don't know when it started, or why. You don't why that anchor that had once been the one thing keeping you on your feet was keeping you stuck in place, unable to move on. Even though you two were dating it was like you had never once spoken in your entire lives. You'd say that you still felt that joy when he looked at you, but he doesn't even glance at you anymore. It was like you were erased without an answer. And with desperation you clung. For once you had attained a love you didn't know your body and mind craved and you wanted it back. It made you feel alive in the most cliché sense. So you continued to try, to become more persistent. But it's like he only cared when you did everything, when there was no one else but you to fall back on.

Then it dawned upon you. You had become merely the thing that comes last to everything, the thing he kept around just so he never is fully alone. It all felt so aimless. All you wanted is to see the hue of his eyes again rather than being met with the back of his head, the only sight are his silky straight strands. It was as if his face was obscured. So, you stopped. You stopped being the first to come to him, to display your love - if you can call it that anymore - first. To be there. And you waited. You couldn't help waiting internally, for that day he'd come back, the day he'd speak to you, tell you he's sorry and he loves you. And foolishly, you'd forgive him as you've done countless times. But that day never comes.

You fought for what you wanted. You allowed yourself to be pitiful. You let your fingers write him honey sweet words till they began to mean nothing to you, and you had to search for new sentences, new phrases, just so you can be refreshing - less repetitive. But it didn't matter. It did not matter what letters you strung together, how you ordered a sentence, how neatly you tied a gift, how long you spent picking it, how gentle your touch was or even its warmth. Because he didn't love you. And worst of all, he didn't care. He didn't care despite your long history and you were left for nothing.

So, you told yourself you'd get away. Distance yourself. There was nothing for you here, not with him. But it hurt. It hurt not being anything. Because despite how horrible it felt when you had something, at least it existed, at least you can say it's there. But now, nothing was left. Your memories were just that; Memories.

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ham-st4r · 1 year

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𝑼𝒏𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 - 𝑳. 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈

❦PAIRING: heeseung + female reader!❦

❦WARNINGS: mentions of intimacy, angst, taboo relationship, small age gap, child abuse, cheating, (not reader) mentions of illegal racing & weed smoking, kissing, alcohol, selling drugs, divorce, violence, blood, injuries, cursing, crying (not as intense as it sounds but I did want to make sure I added all the warnings)

❦GENRE: step-mom reader, stepson heeseung, dysfunctional family, slow burn.

❦SUMMARY: in which you move in with your husband after your wedding, everything is perfect except for one thing, no matter what, you can't seem to get close to his son. Even after a year of knowing each other, you hadn't even spoken ten words until his 21st birthday rolled around, and funny enough he was the surprising you.

❦NUMBER OF WORDS: 14,364k

Find your way around!

Hello, this is my longest fic so far, so I hope it's okay. Please leave feedback and reblog! thanks so much, happy reading.

It had already been two months since you moved in with your husband, and things couldn't have been better. He gave you a key to the house and even bought a car for you as a welcoming gift which you thought was over the top, but he assured you that it was more than okay and that you deserved it, which made you fall for him even more if that was possible.

In the beginning, your parents weren't too fond of you marrying an older man when you were still in your late 20's it took a while to convince them, but he really made you happy, and when you introduced him to your parents over dinner, and they saw how radiant you were when you were with him they gave you their blessing, and you couldn't have been happier.

There was just one tiny little problem.

More like a big problem.

No matter what you did, his son heeseung wouldn't even spare you a glance, not when you first met, not at the wedding, and not since the day you moved in, absolutely nothing.

You knew it was probably hard for him to go through all this, especially as a twenty-year-old getting used to having a mom or (stepmom) all over again, but you've been in his life for about a year now, and he still hasn't warmed up to you yet.

"I don't think he likes me," you sighed as you cuddled up next to your husband on the couch in the living room.

He wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. "Don't worry, honey. I'm sure he'll come around soon. He's just adjusting to the new house and everything," he reassures you.

"I hope so." You said with a sad smile.

That conversation happened last month, and he still hasn't made any effort to communicate with you.

You've tried various things to get his attention, like taking him shopping or making his favorite foods. Nothing worked, but his twenty-first birthday was right around the corner, and you were going to try to use the special day as a way to get closer and bond with him.

You noted that he enjoyed listening to music like a lot, so you had bought him the airpod max hoping he enjoyed them.

You could only hope he didn't think you were trying to buy his affection cause you really weren't. You just wanted to get to know your son.

And speaking of your son, he didn't tell you where he was off to when he left earlier this morning, and when you asked him, he just slammed the door in your face without saying goodbye, which wasn’t surprising to you anymore.

You initially called your husband, but he didn't pick up the phone, which also wasn’t surprising anymore. You figured he was just working overtime like he often does.

But luckily for you, he had given you heeseung's phone number in case of emergencies, and to you, this was an emergency he left in the morning, and it was now midnight with no word from him, so naturally, you were worried about him.

Thankfully your worried heart was put to ease when he answered on the first ring, and you breathed a sigh of relief. "What?" His tone was cold and harsh, just like it had always been, but right now, you didn't care. You were just happy he answered.

"Are you okay? Where are you? What time are you coming home?" You said in a worrisome tone.

You could hear him sigh on the other end. "I'll be back soon" you could barely hear him from all the loud noise in the background.

"Okay, I'll heat up dinner for you when you arrive. Drive saf-" your shoulders slumped down in defeat when he abruptly ended the call.

Another hour had passed, and you began to worry again, but the keys jingling outside the door made you jump to your feet excitedly. At least one of your boys was finally home.

"Hey!" You greeted. "I'll go get you something to eat. I'm sure you're starving" Heeseung didn't even pay you any attention. Instead, he took his shoes off at the door and made his way upstairs to his room.

You could only watch him with a frown on your face once he was out of sight. You could have sworn you smelled the scent of weed coming off him, and you furrowed your brows. You didn't know he smoked, which made you wonder if your husband knew you made a mental note to ask him when he came home from work later on.

Which was apparently not going to be tonight, it was already two in the morning, and you fought to keep your eyes open so you could greet him when he came back, but as the clock struck 2:02 am, you found yourself shuffling off to your shared bedroom drifting off to sleep just minutes later.

The next morning you woke up to an empty bed, and you assumed you had overslept and hubby was already at work. However, when you turned to face the clock, it was ten in the morning. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, double-checking the time, and your eyes were correct. Maybe he worked all night or had to take the early shift. You'd just have to call him and figure it out later.

You got up and stretched for a while before going to the bathroom to wash up a bit.

Once you finished and went downstairs, you were pleasantly surprised to see heeseung dining at the table. "Morning," you greeted him with your croaky morning voice and a gentle smile as you made yourself a cup of coffee.

He didn't say anything, but that was to be expected. He never talked to you during breakfast. Since you moved in, you never had dinner as a family. It has always just been you and your husband occasionally while heeseung stayed in his room doing god knows what or you and heeseung sitting in absolute silence.

Once your coffee was ready, you joined him and quietly sipped your hot beverage. "I was really worried about you last night," you confess. You didn't want him to get up and leave when you tried to talk to him, but you wanted to express that you cared, and if that made him upset, you were willing to take that chance.

He looked at you briefly and took a spoonful of his cereal.

You took that as a sign to continue. "You don't have to tell me anything, but please just be home sooner than midnight," you spoke softly, just barely above a whisper, so you wouldn't scare him away.

He only gave you a small nod, but that was enough for a smile to spread across your face since he had finally acknowledged your presence.

You and him continued to have breakfast in comfortable silence until the front door opened and startled you slightly. "I'm home~" your husband sang as he stepped inside and took off his shoes.

You got up from your chair and ran over to him excitedly, wrapping your arms around his back and giving him a peck on the lips. "I missed you," you pouted, and he poked your cheek with a smile on his face.

"I missed you more" you grabbed his warm hand and led him to the kitchen table.

"We were just having breakfast. Would you like me to cook you something?" Before he could respond, heeseung had stood up and washed his unfinished cereal down the drain, and took off to his room.

You looked at your husband with sad eyes and sat on one of the kitchen chairs. "Why the sad face honey?" he stroked your cheek with his thumb lightly, and you leaned into his warm touch. "Hey, look at me" he tilted your head up slightly, staring at your beautiful eyes. "You had breakfast together again. That's a win, right?"

You’ve been having breakfast with heeseung since you moved in, and nothing has changed. It didn’t help you get closer with him, but you tried to stay positive, and you supposed your husband was right.

"Right" you got up from your seat and kissed his cheek. "I'll make some pancakes. How does that sound?"

"That sounds lovely." He agreed and gave you that beautiful smile of his.

"I don't want to kill the mood," you mumbled as you cut into your fresh plate of pancakes. "But last night when heeseung came home, he reeked of weed" you bit your bottom lip nervously as you awaited his reaction.

He just chuckled in response. "Honey, he's been like that for years. Don't worry about it." He dismissed.

"Has he been coming home past midnight for years too?" You hadn't noticed this behavior until last night. Usually, you were in bed by ten, but since you stayed up late waiting for your husband to come home, you were up late enough to encounter this apparent habit of heeseungs.

He dropped his fork and grabbed your hand. "Yes, ever since the divorce," he sighed. "He's just been very troubled. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he shuts me out all the time."

You wonder how bad the divorce must’ve been for heeseung to act this way. Your husband always said it was the past and that he didn’t want to talk about it, and you respected those boundaries, but you were still curious.

"Maybe I should talk to him," you suggested. After all, maybe it was the lack of a mother in his life that made him act this way. Maybe you could be there for him in a way his father couldn't.

He let go of your hand and clenched his jaw. "I told you I've already tried."

"But maybe I could try a different approach" you were adamant about the idea cause if heeseung was struggling. Naturally, you wanted to help him.

"Fine," he threw up his hands. "You'll just be wasting your time" your brows creased in confusion at his response. He had never acted this way before when you and him talked about heeseung's behavior, but before you thought too deeply about it, you assumed he was just tired and let the conversation go for now.

He abruptly stood up from the table and went to the bedroom, leaving you alone with three plates of unfinished food.

Heeseung had just come downstairs, and he looked like he was going out. Judging by the clothes he had on, he glanced at you, and you tried to hide your hurt expression by giving him a weak smile.

He eyed the table noticing there was a plate in front of his chair where he usually sat, and it was untouched.

He checked the time, and he supposed he could spare a minute or two. He rejoined you at the table, devouring your pancakes like it was his last meal on earth.

You smiled slightly as you watched him eat in silence. "Aren't you going to eat?" He mumbles after taking a sip of water.

You nearly jumped in surprise when he spoke to you, but you quickly composed yourself. "Yes," you whispered and resumed eating your pancakes, and even though they were cold, you ate every last bite with a smile, cherishing this rare moment with him.

Once he finished, he took his dishes to the sink and washed them along with the bowl he had left from earlier.

“Bye, heeseung” you gave him a tiny wave from the kitchen that he didn’t bother to return.

He put his shoes on at the door, and without another word, he was gone.

But at least there was progress, or so you thought.

You're sure that someone would have probably thought you were crazy with just how many decorations you had bought for your son's birthday, but hey, it was your first time celebrating the special day with him, and well, you wanted it to be special.

Unfortunately, earlier in the morning, when you were getting ready to go shopping, your husband informed you he wouldn't be home which totally ruined your whole entire mood. It seemed like everything went against you when it came to getting together as an actual family. If heeseung wasn't abruptly walking out of the room every time his dad entered, then his dad would be leaving for work nothing seemed to be working out for you.

"Can't you just call in? just this one time?" You all but begged him to stay home for Heeseung's birthday.

"No, I can't," he said flatly as he put on his dress coat. "He'll be fine. I always miss his birthday, whether it’s a business trip or for work, and besides, he's got you now" he turned around and flashed you a quick smile.

"Yeah," you mutter sadly while he kisses your cheek and waves goodbye to you.

You sighed at the earlier memory, but you weren't going to let it get your spirits down, especially when heeseung’s room was now decorated from head to toe. You smiled to yourself at the finished product taking a picture and sending it to your husband since he couldn't be there.

Now all that was left to do was wait for the birthday boy.

Heeseung trudged up the stone path to his house, sighing loudly when he saw the empty parking lot, which was a sign that his dad wasn't home.

"Seven years in a row," he mumbled sadly as tears welled in his eyes. He's not sure why he even still cared if his dad celebrated his birthday with him or not.

You'd think after seven years of hating his dad, he'd be over it by now, but he wasn't.

He remembers all those years ago when his mother did her best to make him feel loved going as far as inviting all his friends over to celebrate his birthday, but no matter how many people showed up, nothing could replace the absence of his father, not even the outrageous amount of gifts he received could replace that relationship he so desperately wanted with his dad.

Heeseung doesn't even know when it all started. All he knew was one day, he was a small child enjoying picnics at the park every Sunday after church, and the next moment he was a young teen, and his mom had turned into an alcoholic once she found out her husband was cheating on her, and just like that, everything fell to pieces and the perfect family was ruined all because of his piece of shit father.

Unfortunately, since heeseung was so young back then, he didn't have a choice in who he wanted to take custody of him after the divorce, and sadly there was no chance of him living with his mom. She didn't have enough money and a stable home for him to even stay in, so naturally, he was stuck with his father for the time being.

But now that he's a full-grown adult, he could make his own decisions about where he wanted to live, but stupidly enough, he was waiting and hoping that his father would change and that he would somehow care about him the way he used to but after two years of hoping heeseung had given up and decided to take his life into his own hands.

Which was probably not the best choice, but he needed money to move sooner than later, and a nine-to-five just wasn't going to cut it, especially cause he was secretly helping his mom get by cause, of course, his mother’s well being was no concern of his fathers, So naturally heeseung had resorted to the quickest way to make loads of money by selling drugs, betting, and racing illegally. It wasn't safe, but it was a safe bet to get him where he needed to be, and that was out from under the roof of his heartless father.

Especially right now, he's never wanted to leave so bad the fact that his dad had the fucking audacity to remarry was baffling to heeseung. He had the perfect wife, and he fucked it up for some random woman that he'd never see again, and that angered heeseung to the point that he couldn't even fathom he couldn't believe that his precious mother was brought down and reduced to absolutely nothing at the hands of his own father the thought made him feel sick.

And now that his father was doing the same thing with you made him feel even more sick. He never saw you as his mother. That’s for sure no one could ever replace her, not in a million years, but he could tell you were a good girl, and you were trying, which he appreciated. Even though he didn't show it, and even so, you still did your best and put up with his attitude to bring the family together, and you just had this glow that could change the whole atmosphere from dull and uninteresting to happy and cheerful, something his father didn't deserve he doesn't deserve your kindness because even after he fucked up with his first wife he didn't learn from his mistakes cause he was still going out behind your back every single night.

Heeseung wanted to tell you so badly about his dad’s unholy doings, but he didn't know if that was his secret to tell, so he stayed quiet. But right now, he didn't really care about respecting his father's privacy anymore cause not only was he cheating on his own son's birthday, but he was also out cheating behind your back, just like the old days.

You didn't deserve such treatment in heeseung's eyes. You deserved a real man, someone who could appreciate you for all your efforts and hard work, someone who could be there for you instead of leaving you home alone for ten hours a day, someone who could love you the right way.

God.

Heeseung feels so terrible for even thinking about you like that, but fuck, it was impossible for him not to. You were the perfect wife. Quite literally, everything about you was ideal for him.

He could see himself in his father's position so easily coming home from work to be greeted by you with warm hugs and kisses and a hot meal waiting for him on the table.

Except with him, it would be so different. He would answer all your calls, he would never come home late without telling you first, he'd give you massages when you were tired, and he would appreciate you for every little thing that you do.

Cause that's what you deserved, not a pathetic excuse for a man like his father.

As he got closer and closer to the door typing in the security code, he hadn't realized it yet, but his tears had subsided, and maybe that's all it took was for his dad to miss his birthday one last time cause as he took his shoes off at the front door he didn't have that heavy feeling in his gut anymore if anything it felt like a weight had been lifted and he could finally let go.

This felt like the last time his dad had to prove himself, and when heeseung came home to an empty parking lot, he accepted the fact that his father would never care about him the same way again, and as much as that hurt him in the beginning, it also felt like a relief cause now he didn't have to hang onto any false hope how could he when his own father gave him absolutely nothing to hang onto.

He was finally free, and he accepted his fucked up reality for what it was, something he wished he would have done years ago.

But, at least he can say he tried cause he really fucking did, no matter how painful it had been.

The house was oddly quiet normally. You would have been running down the stairs to greet him, but you were nowhere in sight, which made him frown.

He'd never ever ever ever admit to you that he liked it when you greeted him, that he liked it when you cooked his favorite dishes and liked how you worried about him and his safety when he was out late.

Cause god knows he loves all those things about you. Sometimes he'd leave the house just to hear you say bye, and he knows that sounds pathetic, but it's true.

He hated that he couldn't reciprocate your cheerful attitude. He wanted to so bad, and he almost slipped up so many times, but he was afraid that once that happened, there would be no going back. He was already basically in love with you at this point, and if he had to engage with you every day in a friendly manner, he'd be a goner, so instead, he gave you the cold shoulder and acted harshly towards you and it hurt him to know that he was hurting you, but if he ever acted on his desires for you he knows he'd ruin the family just like his father did, and he never wanted to be like his father ever.

He quietly made his way to the kitchen keeping his noise to a minimum, assuming you must have been tired and had gone to sleep early.

He decided to eat one of the apples you had bought from the market the other day. You had been talking about how good they were, and he remembered the sad look on your face when his stupid ugly, nasty father rejected them, saying. "I OnLy eaT oRgaNic fRuiT."

Oh, how heeseung wished he could have stuffed all those apples down his dad's throat at that very moment.

As heeseung bit into the apple, a smile unknowingly spread across his face. You were right. They were delicious, or maybe it was just cause you��bought them, who really knows, but he enjoyed every last bite of it before throwing the core into the trash barrel and jogging upstairs to wash up for bed, not knowing that he was about to nearly have a heart attack after he opened his door.

"Surprise!" You popped out from hiding behind his door and held a cake with two big candles reading twenty-one on it. "Happy birthday, heeseung!" You smiled brightly.

His eyes went as wide as saucers as they scanned all the decorations. There were white, green, and purple balloons decorating his ceiling, and on the cake was his favorite cartoon character, buzz light year.

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't treat you harshly anymore, not after something like this. How could he?

This was far more than anything he could ever ask for, and he couldn't help but tear up. How did you know he loved Toy Story? His dad didn't even know that, not that that's saying much, but still, he couldn't believe that someone actually paid enough attention to him to even notice.

His silence was making you nervous, but before you could start overthinking, he quickly blew out the candles and set the cake on his nightstand, pulling you into one of the tightest hugs you've ever felt.

"Thank you, y/n, thank you so much," he cried on your shoulder, and you were shocked. You were not expecting this type of reaction from him, but you thoroughly enjoyed it and quickly hugged him back.

"You're welcome, birthday boy" you ruffled his hair, and it was difficult for you not to cry as well. Your son was finally hugging you for the first time since you met.

You rubbed his back gently as his cries started to die down a bit, and he pulled away from the hug, looking at you with teary eyes. It took everything in him not to kiss you right now, and he's thankful that you broke eye contact with him first. Otherwise, he probably would have done something really stupid. "Come on, let's open your presents" you wiped the tears off his cheeks, and he smiled before closing his door and joining you on his bed. "Okay, first one," you handed him the box excitedly. It was a Ferrari Lego set wrapped in Toy Story themed paper.

He didn't want to ruin your beautiful wrapping, but he couldn't contain his excitement as he ripped the paper off, gasping when he saw what was in his hands. "You didn't have to. How did you know?" You giggled at his reaction and nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Mothers know these kinds of things" he froze when you said that, being reminded of what this actually was a mother and son celebrating a birthday. He realized he was painting a different picture of what was actually happening inside his head, a more romantic one, so he calmed down his excitement while silently reminding himself that you only thought of him as your stepson, nothing more, nothing less. "Besides, your whole room is full of legos" you pointed to his shelf with all his little figurines, and he smiled at that, happy that at least someone paid attention to him.

"Thank you!" you felt saddened that he still hadn't called you mom yet, but your husband was right. It's the small wins that count. Heeseung would come around soon enough, you thought, especially after tonight.

"Okay, next!" You handed him another big box, and you couldn't wait for his reaction to this one.

"What did you get me?" He asked with a teasing smile. Honestly, being like this in front of you was easy for him. He felt light whenever you were around. Everything was just so carefree and comfortable. That's one of the many things he loved about you. Even if you two never spoke properly before, this felt natural, and he knew it did for you, too. He knows all the effort you put in to get closer to him, so he knew this meant a lot to you too, and he was grateful cause that let him know you cared and you didn't just give up on him like his parents did no matter how many times he treated you rough you were always patient with him which made him wonder how his worthless dad was lucky enough to get a girl as perfect as you.

"Open it and see" your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but you were just so happy that he was finally opening up to you and letting you in. It made you feel so much joy that he trusted you to show you his real emotions. This moment meant the world to you, and you'd definitely never forget it.

"No way!" He stared at you in shock. "You're freaking crazy," he said, getting choked up as he examined the headphones.

You're not sure if he was crying cause of the present or the fact that he was finally celebrating this day with someone after so long, but it didn't matter to you as long as he was happy. "Do you like it?" You side-hug him and lean on his shoulder.

"Of course, y/n," he sniffles. "I love it" you leaned up, watching the smile that never left his face until he turned to look you dead in the eyes. "I love you" he used the opportunity to slip those words in just to let you know he knew you'd think of it in a mother-son way, but he didn't care as long as he got to tell you before he left.

Those words nearly brought tears to your eyes. That was even better than him calling you mom. You smiled brightly. You were so happy, and you couldn’t wait to tell your husband the news.

"I love you too" you quickly pecked his cheek as you stood up from his bed to grab the cake. "How about some cake?" He looked at you and nodded. "Come on," you said in a whisper and gestured downstairs.

"Can we eat it here?" He asks sheepishly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was turning five and not twenty-one from his childish request, but who were you to say no to eating cake in bed?

He sat back on his bed and tucked his feet under him while the bed dipped down next to him from your weight. He swiped his finger along the cake, gathering some frosting and licking it off his finger. "Good?" You ask, laughing at the way he decided to eat it without a fork.

"Yeah," he mutters shyly as you do the same, tasting the sweet frosting and humming at its delicious taste nodding in agreement with him.

You both ate the chocolate cake until there was barely anything left, and he sat it back down on his nightstand before he joined you on the bed again.

"You don't know how much this means to me," he whispered and trailed off while playing with his fingers nervously.

He looked like he wanted to say more, so you waited patiently for him to continue like you always had.

"This was the best birthday ever," he breathed out and looked at you with an unreadable expression.

"I'm so happy to hear that" you smiled genuinely at him and gently patted his shoulder.

Before you could even register what was happening, he was leaning in and kissing you.

It was if time had stopped.

You were paralyzed when you felt his lips on yours. You couldn't react from your state of shock as your eyes widened. He continued kissing you, tilting his head slightly and brushing his lips over yours.

When he placed his hand on your knee, you finally were able to react to the situation, and you pushed him back roughly by his shoulders. "What the hell are you doing?" You wiped his saliva off your mouth and stood up, distancing yourself away from him as you caught your breath.

He immediately hung his head low, knowing that he had messed up big time. You could hear him sniffling lightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his voice cracked. "Y/n, I didn't mean to." He looked at you with tears now trickling down his face. "I-I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry" he got off his bed and reached for you, but you backed away from him further, and his heart ached when he saw the pure look of utter disgust on your face.

Your heart felt like it was about to leap out of your chest from how fast it was beating. You had no idea what to even think. Your mind was blank as you rushed out of his bedroom and into yours, locking the door behind you just in case he tried to follow you.

You curled up in bed and let the silence take over, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.

As you were lost in thought, you heard a few soft knocks on the door, and you jumped slightly. "Y/n, please don't be mad at me," he pleaded softly, and you could hear the hurt in his tone. "Please…” he whispered shakily, and you heard a soft thud on the door when he rested his forehead against it.

For the next three minutes or so, you could hear him quietly sobbing outside your door, and you were torn on what to do. Your stepson had just kissed you out of the clear blue.

You didn't know if you should talk to him about it or not. Maybe he had been smoking and just made a mistake, but you can’t remember smelling any smoke.

You ruffled your hair in frustration and did the first thing that came to your mind.

You tried phoning your husband. Maybe he could give you some answers.

You just sighed when you heard the dial tone.

Of course, he didn't answer like usual it annoyed you that he could never answer his phone because of work. You knew he was more than likely in a meeting, and he couldn't be disturbed, but every time you needed him, he was never there. You knew that’s what you were getting into when you married such a busy man, but that didn’t make it any less upsetting.

You tossed your phone to the side and sighed loudly. You could still hear heeseung’s faint sniffles from behind the door.

"I know there’s no excuse for what I did, but for what it's worth, you made this birthday the best one yet" he dragged his index finger down the length of the door. "G-goodnight, y/n" he walked back to his room and lied on his bed, feeling absolutely terrible about himself. Not only did he kiss you without permission, but he also kissed a married woman. "What was I thinking?" He mumbled quietly into his pillow.

He knew exactly what he was thinking, and he let his emotions get the best of him, but it was so hard to control it when you looked at him so fondly. How could he not get emotional when you had set up all those things just for his birthday? How could he not get emotional when you remembered the things that he liked?

It's been almost a decade since he felt those types of emotions, and he wasn't ready to feel those things again, especially not with you, especially when he couldn't control his feelings for you.

All those thoughts, feelings, and emotions came over him so fast that he didn’t have time to second guess his actions, but as soon as his lips were no longer on yours, he realized that he had made an irreversible mistake.

The last thing he saw before he cried himself to sleep was his leftover cake on the nightstand.

You woke up in the morning, and unfortunately, the first thought that came to mind was last night. You frustratedly massage at your temples, trying to rub out the headache while looking at the alarm clock that read 8:27am.

You turned to your husband and wrapped your arms around him, hoping to seek some comfort from him after what happened last night, but he rolled on his side after mumbling something about it being too hot as he scooted away from you.

That was another thing that has been troubling you lately. Maybe you were blowing things out of proportion from all the stress you had been carrying with you recently, but he seemed so standoffish lately he'd barely kiss you unless it was before he left to work, and god forbid you mentioned your worries about heeseung to him, he'd just blow you off, and tell you that heeseung was an adult that could do what he wanted.

But the worse part was you couldn't remember the last time he took you on a date or the last time he made love to you, and getting married only seemed to create distance between you both, and you hated it. You felt so alone being cooped up in the house all day. Sure, you'd go shopping sometimes, but that only took your mind off of things for a little while.

And heeseung never talked to you, so that made you feel even more alone, and after last night everything kind of just hit you like a ton of bricks. You felt more isolated than you ever have, and you had no one to talk to. You moved far from your parents, and the time zones were completely different. You hadn't contacted your friends in years, and now it was just you all alone by yourself to figure out what you should do after your stepson thought it would be okay to kiss you, and your husband was practically ignoring your needs as his wife.

This whole time you've been so worried about getting the mother approval stamp from heeseung that you barely even had time to focus on your life with your husband, and now that you realized that, it felt awful.

"What do I do?" You whisper as tears well in your eyes, sobbing quietly so you wouldn’t wake your sleeping husband.

For the whole day, heeseung didn't even think about leaving his room. He just couldn't face you after what he did last night.

Remembering the look on your face was enough to have him curled up in bed until midnight.

Once he saw all the lights were shut off, that's when he decided to leave. He made his way to the door, and he almost shirked when he saw you lying on the sofa all by yourself.

He tiptoed to the door, praying you wouldn't wake up, and to his luck, you didn't. He hastily put his shoes on and haphazardly wore his jacket and went to his secret racing spot.

You stirred in your sleep. Once you heard the door shut, you must have passed out while watching tv again. "Babe?" You called out, but you got no answer. You turned the tv off and went to your bedroom to see your husband fast asleep. "He didn't wake me up?" You mumbled you were once again waiting for him to come home from work, but you fell asleep, and he didn't even think to wake you up before going to bed.

Which reminds you, if he wasn't the one leaving, then that must have meant it was heeseung, and it was past midnight since your talk with him over breakfast. He seemed to understand your concern for him being out so late and made it a point to come home no later than ten.

So why was he leaving past midnight again?

You wanted to call him and tell him to bring his butt home, but after last night you're not sure where he stood with you or where you stood with him, to be honest.

Heeseung didn't want to leave past midnight and make you worry, but after what happened the night of his birthday, he figured you didn't care about him coming or going cause he made you mad, and he hated knowing that he ruined the little relationship you had both formed just as quickly as it happened.

But if he looked on the bright side, at least now, you probably hated him and wouldn't try to get close to him anymore, so that was a good thing. Maybe that would help him suppress his feelings for you, and besides, he'd be leaving soon anyway, so how you felt about him didn't really matter.

He was going to use the money he made from his nightly races and drug deals to move out. He now had more than enough to afford his own place and live alone comfortably.

Of course, his dad wanted him out a lot sooner and would be more than happy to buy heeseung his own house to get him out of his hair, but heeseung didn't want anything to do with his father once he was gone.

Everything that happened in this house he wanted to be a thing of the past, even if that included you.

Sure, it was a cop-out move to just avoid what happened that night, but in his mind, there wasn't a need to address that situation again. He fucked up, and that was the end of it.

That wasn't the only reason he wanted to move though his dad played the bigger role in that, and now after that incident with you, it was fuel for him to leave even sooner than he had originally planned.

He closed his eyes as a few tears rolled down his cheek, and the crowd roared his name as he revved his engine.

And as soon as the two black and white checkered flags were raised, he pressed his foot on the gas, going full speed ahead, pushing all his worries down just like his gas peddle, even though he knew they would all surface again and haunt him once he reached the finish line.

Of course, you couldn't get any sleep cause heeseung was still out, and it was now three in the morning, not to say you would have been able to get any sleep with your husband snoring loudly next to you anyways.

You quietly got out of bed and put your robe on. You walked downstairs and poured yourself a glass of wine, sitting on the sofa, waiting for heeseung to come home.

It wasn't long before the door was creaking open, and you heard the familiar jingle of heeseung’s keys.

He turned around and twisted the knob so he could shut the door silently.

You cleared your throat, and he nearly jumped out of his shoes as he slowly turned around with a grimace on his face. "Mind telling me what you've been up to?" You traced the rim of your now empty glass as you crossed your leg over the other.

"S-s-sorry, I won't do it a-again," he mumbled as he hung his head low and kicked his shoes off at the door.

"What exactly is it that you won’t be doing again?" You asked and slowly held the cup to your lips, taking a small sip of the alcoholic drink.

He gulped nervously from your stern tone. "Just hanging out late with some friends," he lied. He didn't have any friends, not since his parents divorced.

You hum and nod your head. "Do these friends happen to smoke?" You questioned.

How the hell did you know that? "Yes," there was no point in lying. He wouldn't want to make you more upset.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. "What did I tell you about being out past midnight?"

"I know, and I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I didn't think you'd care" he bit his lip nervously.

"Why wouldn't I care? You're my son," his expression hardened at your words.

"Please stop saying that," he whispered shakily.

"What's wrong? I know I'm not your biological mother, but I'm trying here" you pushed down the lump in your throat and ignored the ache in your heart as he said those words to you.

"You just don't get it, do you? That's just the thing, you're not my mom, and I'll never see you as my mom" he clenched his jaw in annoyance.

Now you couldn't even pretend that didn't hurt like hell that's all you ever wanted was for him to call you mom but the way those words fell from his mouth so carelessly broke your heart. "W-what did you say?" Your voice now matched him with a shakiness that made him instantly regret what he said.

He came closer to you, wrapping your frail body in his arms. The smell of smoke invaded your senses as you inhaled sharply. "No, no, no, that's not what I meant," he whispered as your shoulders shook in his hold. "You know what, screw it" he pulled back and stared into your eyes intensely. "I'll never see you as my mom because," he took a deep breath before continuing. "Because I like you" his bottom lip quivered, and you could feel his body shaking slightly. "I know it's wrong, and I swear I tried not to, b-but I just couldn't help it, and on my birthday, I just couldn't control how I felt. It's the first time someone has shown me any type of affection in years, and I-"

You cut him off. This was nonsense. He was speaking. There's no way that's how he truly felt. "You never even talked to me before then" you pulled away from the hug and waited for him to explain.

"I know," he whined out. "But that's why I didn't want to get close to you 'cause this whole time I've had…" he trailed off, but you got the point. "And on my birthday, you just" he looked down at his feet, embarrassed and ashamed to even be telling you this. "You made me feel special, and I haven't felt that in a long time." He whispered.

You looked at him with a million questions swirling around in your mind, but you asked the burning one. "What about your father? He's great to you. Surely he makes you feel special" you tried to make sense of what heeseung was saying, but you couldn't wrap your head around it, and getting angry wouldn’t help, so you spoke calmly while hoping to get some answers.

He just scoffed at your words and shoved his hands into his pockets. "He didn't even wish me a happy birthday." He poked his inner cheek with his tongue.

A look of shock overtook your features. Of course, you knew your husband wasn't going to be there on his son's special day, but not buying him a gift and not sending him a text was outrageous. "Maybe he was just too busy," you reasoned. There's no way he would not have sent his own son a happy birthday text unless he was busy.

"For the last seven years? I don't think anyone is that busy" he rolled his eyes. "It's obvious what's important to him, and I'm not."

"Don't talk about your father that way. He's a great man and a great husband, and you're just being ungrateful right now. He's working himself to death to take care of us both," heeseung just gave you a sad smile.

If you had any idea.

"If you say so," he wasn't going to argue with you about this. He was afraid he would slip up and spill his dad's secrets, and that would make everything so much worse than it already was.

"Just go to your room, and you're not going out tomorrow." You concluded that was all that needed to be discussed right now.

Without another word, he quietly went to his room and left you stressed out on the couch with so many unanswered questions.

"Honey will you call that deadbeat son of ours from his room," your husband joked as he sat at the table.

You just chuckled at his statement, knowing he meant no harm, and went to get heeseung from his room.

You knocked a few times and waited for him to answer. He cracked the door open just a sliver, and you saw his eyes widen slightly. "Yes?" He whispered.

You hated how he almost seemed scared of you after everything, but right now, there was nothing that you could think of to fix this situation between you and him, so you’d just have to be awkward around each other for the time being.

"Dinners ready, and your father wants you to sit with us," you informed him in a soft tone hoping that would help unnerve him, but it didn't seem to work.

"Ok," he said quietly and opened the door, fully exiting his room and coming downstairs with you.

"There he is! Finally decided to crawl out of that den of yours," heeseung sighed while sitting at the table. He knew this was going to be absolute torture. He was only doing it cause he knew you wanted to. "So your mother told me you've been smoking, is that true?"

You gasped in shock. This was not how you wanted him to bring this up. Tonight was just supposed to be a simple, peaceful dinner, nothing more, nothing less.

You shook your head and signaled for your husband to stop, and heeseung looked at you with a tinge of hurt on his face. Not believing the fact that you had told his secret.

Apparently, your husband didn't get the memo. "So are you going to answer, or do I have to beat it out of ya" his father joked, but neither you nor heeseung was laughing.

You smiled awkwardly and took a sip of your lemonade, staying quiet.

"What does it matter?" Heeseung responded harshly.

"To be honest, I don't care what you do, but your mother here is worried about you," he said while cutting into his steak.

"Babe," you scolded him for his choice of words. You knew he was just frustrated and didn't mean them, but you still acknowledged how inappropriate that was to say. "Sorry he's been drinking," you murmured to heeseung, but he knew even if his dad wasn't drinking, he would still say those hurtful words to him without thinking twice about it.

"There's nothing to worry about" heeseung dismissed the topic from going any further.

"See honey? I told you it's fine" you just sat there uncomfortably for the rest of the dinner. Maybe it was just you, but he didn't seem to care about his own son's reckless behavior, and it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. "What I am worried about, though, is when you're going to get a girlfriend. I mean, you're a grown man, and you haven't dated anyone." He chuckled.

Heeseung glanced at you feeling embarrassment course throughout his veins.

You were surprised to hear that. Heeseung was a good guy. From what you know, he was intelligent and interested In making music, plus he had handsome features, so you were bewildered at the new information.

"Isn't that something, dear? He's twenty-one and doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Well, that's his choice, babe. Maybe he just hasn't found the right one," you try to ease the tension of the conversation, hoping heeseung would loosen up a bit, but he didn't.

The conversation started out in the wrong direction, to begin with, but now it was completely lost.

"I suppose, but he hasn't even had sex yet" this was the first time you had ever heard your husband talk in such a manner, and it was revolting, to say the least, especially at the dinner table.

Has he always been like this? You wondered.

"Dad, we can have this conversation another time," heeseung gritted through his teeth. He knew his dad was trying to get under his skin, not to say he cared, but heeseung just didn't want you thinking differently of him for being a virgin. He didn't want to think he was any less of a man.

Of course, his dad wasn't going to listen to that, not when there was a perfectly good opportunity to humiliate his son. "Hell, he hasn't even had his first kiss yet," he chuckled, and heeseung's mouth parted as he stared at his dad in shock, unable to comprehend why he'd want to put him to shame like that in front of you.

Heeseung looked at you scanning your face for your reaction, and you could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes before he got up from the table and ran off to his room.

"Why would you say that?" You asked, knowing that you weren't the only one that could obviously see that heeseung was upset when he left.

"Say what? It's harmless fun. He'll get over it" he took a drink of his beer before shrugging his shoulders.

"That didn't look harmless to me, and it wasn't funny," you said sternly while throwing your napkin on the table.

You may not have been on good terms with heeseung, but he didn't deserve to have his love life aired out for your husband's drunken amusement.

You could only imagine how embarrassed heeseung felt.

You stood up from the table and headed to your room as well. You couldn’t believe he had to ruin the evening. "Honey, wait, I'm sorry," you heard him drunkenly apologizing, but you continued on to your room, too stressed and tired to put up with him or anything else right now.

After you finished washing up, you went to check on heeseung. As hard as it was going to be to speak to him, you just wanted to make sure he was okay after what happened.

You knocked on his door, hoping he hadn't already gone to sleep. You waited a few seconds after knocking, and you didn't get an answer.

Maybe he was listening to music, you thought and cracked the door slightly. He was lying in his bed listening to music, just like you had originally thought, and he was wearing the headphones you bought him for his birthday. You smiled at the heartwarming sight before opening the door further and revealing yourself.

His head shot up to the door when he noticed the light from the hallway shining into his dimly lit room. When he saw it was you, he quickly took off his headphones and straightened out his blankets, running his fingers through his hair, trying to tidy up a bit.

"Can I come in?" He just looked at you and nodded his head. You shut the door behind you and sat on his bed, pushing away the thoughts of the last time you were in his room on his bed. "Sorry about him," you apologized on your husband's behalf.

"It's not your fault" he scooted away from you and hugged his knees to his chest. "It wouldn't be the first time he's done that" the words accidentally slipped from his mouth, and he panicked.

"What do you mean?" You ask him, puzzled.

Heeseung was quick to come up with an excuse. You didn't know much about his relationship with his father. From the outside looking in, they seemed like they got along pretty well, and heeseung knew what he said just now would make you ask questions, and those questions he didn't want to answer cause ultimately they would reveal what his dad was doing to you this whole entire time.

"Uhh, you know, just the teasing and all" he smiled uncomfortably and hoped you'd buy that lame excuse, and it seemed like you did when you nodded your head in understanding.

"Just so you know, it's nothing to be ashamed of" you were going to reach your hand out and comfort him, but you decided it'd be best if you didn't.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said lowly, and you sighed in defeat as you sat up and walked out of his room. If he didn't want to talk about it, you weren't going to force him to. You assumed he needed space, and you were more than willing to give it to him.

You went back to your shared bedroom to find your husband already lying in bed waiting for you. "Honey, I'm sorry," he apologized again while you got into bed next to him. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. He's probably upset with me," he mumbled in the crook of your neck as he wrapped his arms around you.

You cuddle up closer to him, and he presses soft kisses all over your neck, tickling you. "Babe!" You shouted when he started tickling your sides playfully.

"What?" He answers back as if he's unaware of what he was doing to you.

You giggled and squirmed, trying to get out of his hold.

"I gotcha now," he teased and continued tickling you while laughing at the noises you were making.

Heeseung could hear you both talking and laughing. He hated how his room was right next to your guy’s, and he could hear literally everything.

He turned up his music to full blast, drowning out everything. The last thing he wanted was to hear you being intimate with his father.

His father didn't deserve to see your body, heeseung thought. You should have been in his bed making love to him. He was confident his father couldn't please you the way he could. Hell, it wouldn't even be a comparison.

If heeseung had a chance with you, he'd give you anything you wanted. He'd take his precious time with your delicate body, trace his fingers over every dip and curve of your beautiful figure whisper praises in your ear about how good you make him feel. He'd stare directly into your eyes and tell you how much he loves you and how precious you are to him as he slowly strokes inside you while you moan his name and clasp your hands tighter with his.

You should be in his room right now with him.

Little did heeseung know you were unfortunately not getting intimate with his father cause after the little tickling session, he passed out from all the alcohol he drank earlier in the evening, leaving you to fall asleep unsatisfied for the countless night in a row.

A few weeks had passed now, and things were starting to get better with your husband. He was taking you out more and spending more time with you, which was great, and it kept your mind clear.

Unfortunately, things were the same with heeseung, and even still, you had no clue what to do. You wanted to tell your husband, but you had no idea what kind of mess that would have caused, so you ignored it entirely, and heeseung went back to his old ways of giving you the cold shoulder, which you were happy about cause that made you feel better about not addressing the situation somehow you twisted it that if he wasn't talking to you you weren't going to talk to him and you convinced yourself this was his fault for shutting you out.

Besides, he hasn't made a move on you since, so there wasn't anything to talk about, right?

Right.

Finally, you got your much-needed break from everything that has happened this past month, and you couldn't have asked for anything better than to be where you are right now, hugged up to your husband on the couch, watching movies as he stroked your hair.

Your guy’s movie marathon was interrupted by heeseung making a surprise visit to the living room. He scoffed and made his way to the couch, handing his father his key to the house before retreating back to his room.

You eyed the little transaction, and you furrowed your brows, looking at the house key that sat on the entertainment stand in the living room.

"Babe, what was that about?" You wondered why heeseung was giving up his house key.

"Oh, he didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" You say, growing more confused by the second.

"He's moving out next week," he told you as if it was just something as small as a story from one of his co-workers or something.

You sat up abruptly. "What?! No, he didn't tell me" you knew things weren’t going great with you and heeseung right now, but you didn't expect him to keep something this important from you. "Why didn't you tell me?" Now that was the strange part he didn't know about yours and heeseung's falling out, so why would he assume heeseung would tell you when he didn't even speak to you?

"Cause it's not a big deal" he shrugged and tried to hug you, but you backed away.

"It is a big deal. You know how hard I've been trying to get close to him, and you didn't even think to tell me he would be moving?" You raised your voice slightly.

"What does it matter?"

You couldn't sit still any longer. You got up from the sofa and went to heeseung's room. Maybe he could give you a better explanation than the bullshit your husband just gave you. "Why didn't you tell me you’re leaving?" Your tone was still harsh, but it wasn't aimed toward heeseung.

"Didn't think you'd care" he disregarded the way you just stormed into his room without knocking.

"Why would you think that?" Your expression softened, as well as your tone.

"We haven't talked in weeks, so what's the point? For all practical purposes, I'm not even here," he angrily shoved his belongings into his suitcase.

You knew it was your fault why he felt like that, and it made you feel terrible. You could no longer deny the fact that your and Heeseung's relationship diminished because you were not handling what happened like an adult. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

Fuck fuck fuck.

He wanted to punch and kick himself for thinking you looked cute apologizing right now. That's not what this is about, heeseung focus. He took a deep breath and put on his hard exterior once again. "I forgive you," he said with no emotion at all.

He couldn’t understand why you’d take all the blame, though, cause he definitely had a part to play.

You watched him packing, and you still felt guilty for everything, even if he had forgiven you. "So that's just it then?" You asked sadly, you knew at this point having a mother-and-son relationship was out of the picture, but you’d still miss him when he was gone.

He sighed and zipped up his bag, opening a smaller one for his toiletries. "What do you want from me, hmm? I already told you this," he pointed back and forth between the two of you. "Is never going to happen. I can't give you what you want, and you can't give me what I want."

"Heeseung, I don't know what to say. I want to tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm a happily married woman, and you have to understand that," you tried to explain to him in a way he'd understand without hurting his feelings.

"Exactly, and I can accept that, so why can't you accept the fact that this picture-perfect family idea of yours is never going to work? I'm moving out, and now you can live the rest of your life happily with that-" he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from talking and saying something he shouldn't.

"Honey?" You heard your husband calling you from downstairs, and heeseung sighed. You wanted to finish listening to what he was saying, but you opted to leave his room and go to your husband.

"Fuck” heeseung said under his breath when you walked out.

He wanted to let you know what was happening, but he was scared. He didn't want to hurt your feelings, or worse, what if you didn't believe him?

He shook his head and finished packing. It wasn't his mess to sort out. He tried to convince himself.

Everyone glossed over what happened over the next week, and so did you heeseung was leaving today, and there wasn't anything you could do or say to stop him.

It was in the evening, and you were supposed to be going out to dinner with your husband, but he wasn't answering your calls. He said he'd be ready by six, yet it was eight, and he didn't even bother to call you to inform you what was taking him so long, and you started to get worried.

Tears unknowingly pricked your eyes and cascaded down your face. Everything had gotten to you, and you couldn't contain your emotions anymore and finally let out all your frustrations.

You sobbed into the palms of your hands while sitting at the kitchen table. Everything seemed to be going wrong the past month, and you had no idea how to fix it heeseung was basically done with you, and your husband didn't even seem to notice how stressed you were lately. You were hoping to talk to him over dinner, and now that fell through, so here you sat sobbing like an overgrown baby waiting for your beloved husband to come home.

To make matters even worse, when you looked up, you met eyes with heeseung, and he was just staring at you.

You must have missed him coming down the stairs while you were crying hysterically.

You quickly grabbed a napkin and dried your tears. Obviously, it was too late to hide them, but you still tried.

Heeseung dropped his moving boxes at the door and made his way over to the kitchen. He didn't hesitate for a moment to lean down and wrap his arms securely around your shaking shoulders. "Shhh, it’s okay" he kissed the crown of your head and rested his cheek there while fluttering his eyes shut.

You didn’t have it in you to tell him off for his overly affectionate gesture, so you let him comfort you instead.

You grabbed his hand and held it tightly. You didn't have to tell him why you were crying. He saw his mother in the same position you were in right now, all beautiful and dressed up, ready for the big date that never came.

"I'm going to tell you something that I know I shouldn't, but you deserve to know," he whispered and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. "My father is cheating on you" heeseung's heart rate increased as he finally spilled his father's filthy secret to you.

"What?!" You pushed his arms off you, and he stumbled back slightly while you stood up from your seat. "Why would you say that? He would never" you defend your husband. Little did you know he would, and he was at this very moment.

Heeseung hung his head low. "That's the same thing I thought when my mother told me," his voice cracked. "I know it's hard to accept it. I've been there before, but it's true."

"No," You felt more fresh tears welling in your eyes. "Take that back right now. How could you ever speak about him that way" this was absolutely preposterous, you thought.

"Because it's true, I wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, okay?" He stepped closer to you, and you let him engulf you in a hug, but you didn't hug him back.

"How do you know?" You asked, nibbling on your lip. You wanted to fight back, but something about the look on heeseung's face made you feel like he was telling you the truth, and it made you feel sick.

"Call him and ask him where he is," he responds quietly. You broke away from the hug.

"No, I get it now. You're just trying to break us up 'cause you can't stand the fact that I don't want to be with you" that had to be it cause the man you married would never cheat on you, and you knew he loved you, too much to do that to you.

"What?!" Heeseung said, shocked that you would not only accuse him of lying but the fact that you would think that lowly of him. "I would never lie to you, y/n that's not the type of guy I am, and what would I gain from lying to you? I know you'd take his word over mine any day, and besides, I'm leaving today, so even if I was trying to turn you against my father, that'd be pretty stupid given the fact that once I walk out of that door in the next fifteen minutes, you'll probably never see me again."

That was true, but maybe heeseung didn't want you for himself. Maybe he just wanted to ruin your life cause you didn't accept his advances.

He could see the apprehension on your face, and he took the opportunity to further prove his point. "He said he would be home today at six, right?" You just nodded your head. "And he also said he was going to go to work, right?" You nodded once more, feeling a heavy weight settle in your gut. "So if I call his work right now, he should be there, right?" You knew where this was going, and you didn’t like it one bit. You were going to leave and go to your bedroom, but he quickly grabbed your wrist and stopped you from moving.

He let go of you and pulled out his phone, and dialed his dad's work number, putting it on speaker as the phone rang three times before someone picked up. "Hi, could you give me Mr lee's extension? I'm his son, and he's not answering his phone right, and I'm worried" you listen, as whoever was taking the phone call informed heeseung that Mr lee had not been at work today and that he was always off on Sunday. "Oh, okay, thank you. Bye," you stared at heeseung with tears in your eyes.

But you were still in denial. "He's probably just off doing some work elsewhere," you smiled and convinced yourself.

Heeseung couldn't believe how much you were defending his father, but he understood he was the same way when he found out from his mother, but he was going to prove to you that it was true one way or the other. "Y/n, I need you to listen closely to me. I'm doing this for you, okay? I love you, and I don't ever want to see you hurt. I don't want to sit back and watch the next most important woman in my life get reduced to nothing at the hands of my father, not again" it was hard for him to contain his emotions. Talking about this topic was something he thought he had gotten over, but it felt like the wound had never healed, even though he thought it did years ago.

You stood in silence, wrapping your arms around yourself, preparing for what he was about to say. If you were being honest, you had your doubts about your husband a few times, like when he smelled like women's perfume, and he told you he worked around females, so that's why he smelled that way at the time that sounded true, so you went along with it the other time you saw a red stain on his shirt that looked a lot like lipstick, but you thought you were reaching and didn't bring it up to him but now as heeseung was giving you all this information you weren't so sure so instead of telling heeseung off for saying such foul things about his own father you stayed and listened cause deep down you were afraid you had been right all along.

"Remember all the times I always left the table when he came home? It's cause we don't get along. He made it seem that way, so you wouldn't think any less of him, but he knows deep down I hate his guts, and he hates mine. You remember all the times he came home from work late? He was out at the club. Remember all the times he didn't answer his phone or come till the next day? He was off with somebody else while you were waiting at home for him like a good wife" before you could shut him down, he pulled up a picture of your husbands' car in the parking lot of a club, and that's when it felt like your world had come crashing down you had a feeling but you being you just thought you were overthinking all the time, and you stupidly gave your husband the benefit of the doubt when evidently he didn't deserve it.

You were sad, hurt, and upset. "Why would you do that?" You said to heeseung while crying. He just looked at you, mirroring your hurt expression cause this was just as hard for him to relive all over again as it was for you finding out. "You're lying!" You screamed at the top of your lungs. "You're lying!" You pushed his him. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" you hit his chest, punctuating your hurtful words each time your hand came in contact with his body. Tears brimmed in his eyes as he let you weakly pound his chest. Eventually, he grabbed your wrist and stopped you pulling you into a hug instead. "You're lying," you choked out through sobs as you let him engulf you in a hug. This time, you hugged him back in your weak and vulnerable state.

You couldn't believe everything was a lie right from the beginning. You don't blame heeseung for not telling you sooner. You blame yourself for being so stupid and naive to believe such ridiculous lies. You hated yourself for having blind faith in your husband, and you hated your heart for loving him so foolishly that even when things seemed different, you just brushed it off.

Heeseung rubbed your back soothingly to comfort you. "Remember all the times I came down for dinner when he was gone? I did it so you wouldn't feel alone. Remember all those times I came back early? I did it so you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. Remember all those times when I was here for you, and he wasn't?" You could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest while he poured his feelings out to you. "If I was in his place, I'd never come home late. If I was in his place, I'd never look at another girl, and if I was in his place, I'd treat you right" he held onto you tighter, giving his words more significance.

He leaned back to look you in the eyes, trailing his hands over your hip bones. "If I was in his place, I'd never make you cry" he scanned your face, and his heart broke for you. You looked lifeless and completely broken as he wiped away your stray tears. It was like he was looking in a mirror at his fourteen-year-old self when his mother told him the same news, except when he found out he had no one to confide in cause his mom practically abandoned him for alcohol and left him in the hands of his abusive father, but he wasn’t going to let you go through the same thing that he did he was going to be that person that was there for you when no one else was he was going to be that person his mother couldn't be for him.

Heeseung thought it was now or never and closed the gap between you two before he could think twice. Besides, no matter the outcome of his actions, he'd be gone tomorrow, but he was here today, he was in this moment, and he was going to make every second of it count.

You responded to the kiss, and in your weakened state, all you wanted was his comfort. It was something you needed more than anything in the world, especially right now.

It felt so right.

No matter how hard you tried to be his mother, you never quite made the cut, and deep down, you knew it was because you never really saw him as your son. You were just too wrapped up in trying to be the perfect wife for your husband that you lost sight of everything, and right now, after everything heeseung had told you, kissing him didn't feel wrong cause you didn't feel like you were kissing your stepson no, you felt like you were kissing a man that loved you and a man that actually cared for you and your well being.

He hummed into the kiss pulling you closer by your waist as he kissed you passionately, slowly, lovingly this was the first time you had ever felt this way from a kiss. You never felt the butterflies in your stomach that you were feeling right now when you kissed anyone else. With heeseung, you could actually feel the love he had for you.

He leaned back and fluttered his eyes open, slowly placing one last loving peck on your lips.

He's been waiting for the moment for far too long. It was definitely worth the wait. He'd live his hellish life all over again just for it to lead to this very moment with just you and him and no other distractions in between.

Your lips were just as soft as he imagined, your kiss was just as electrifying as he daydreamed, and your embrace was everything he ever prayed for. "Come with me," he says out of nowhere. "Get a divorce and leave him live with me. I promise I can take care of you, trust me" he rested his forehead against yours. Everything was happening so fast, and you could barely breathe, but one thing you knew for sure was right now, heeseung had told you the truth you had been searching for, and his embrace made you feel safe. He proved you could trust him, but you don't know if you were ready to move on so quickly you didn't want your emotions getting in the way of making such a big decision, and heeseung seemed to have read your mind.

"We can take this as slow as you want" he gripped your shoulders, leaning down a bit to hold eye contact with you. "Look at me, okay? All I'm asking is for you to come with me, if, a month down the road, you decide you don't want to try with me. I’ll completely understand, but right now, I just can't stand to see you hurt. I can't let that happen to someone I love not again," he meant every word wholeheartedly. He couldn't be there for his mother, but he could be there for you.

You nibbled on your lip in thought you had no money outside of your husband's income, and you couldn't afford to move right now. "Heeseung, I can't." You whisper.

"Why?" He breathed out and placed his hands on your cheeks. “Hmm?”

"I can't afford to move, and I can't go back to my parent's house," you told him your concerns for the first time in months. You felt comfortable speaking your mind out in the open.

"You know how I always go out at night?" You nodded your head as he stroked your cheek softly with his thumb. "I hate for you to find out like this, but I was doing illegal things to make money, and let's just say I could buy you a house twice this size. We could fly to your parent's house and be there in the morning. Whatever you want, I can give to you." He looked at you intensely to prove to you that he was dead serious.

You could feel a headache coming on. This was all too much for you to handle alone, but Heeseung wasn't going to let you handle this alone, not this time. "I couldn't ask that of you."

"I want to give you a life that you deserve, let me" the look in his eyes was indescribable, but if you had to put it in words, it was love mixed with hate, sadness mixed with anger, but behind everything, it was hopeful and sincere. "Let me be the man in your life that my father couldn't be" you didn't need to hear anything more you gave him a quick kiss sealing off his promise and wrapping your arms around him tightly.

"Thank you," you mumbled into the crook of his neck wetting his shirt with your warm tears, but he didn't mind one bit as he reciprocated the hug.

"Anything for you. I got you" he disconnected from the hug and smiled, wiping your tears. "Let's get you all packed, yeah?" He wasn't trying to pressure you, but the sooner you both could leave, the better.

"Wait" you put your hand on his chest, stopping him from going anywhere.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly and rubbed the back of your palm with his thumb.

"I'm scared," you muttered.

"It's okay. I’m here now, and I won’t ever let him hurt you again" he led you upstairs, and you grabbed only your necessities. You didn't want anything that reminded you of your soon to be ex-husband.

Heeseung gave you a reassuring smile to ease your worries as you dropped your bags off at the door.

You both sat in the living room, waiting for him to come home. "It's okay," heeseung whispered and grabbed your hand. "I'll be here every step of the way. You have nothing to worry about" he kissed your hand but quickly distanced himself from you when he heard the front door crack open.

"Hey, isn't this a surprise you guys are actually getting along for once," he said, and it was now clear as day how condescending his tone was, and it only occurred to you now that that's how he always talked to you when it came to you trying to get close with heeseung you can't believe you didn't notice it sooner.

You can't believe he didn't even mention the date you two were supposed to go on. Then again, if heeseung never showed you what your husband was up to, you probably would have summed it up to him just being tired from “work” like you always foolishly had.

"Can we talk?" You ignored his slight jab and walked over to the kitchen heeseung parted his mouth to say something, but you smiled at him, letting him know you were okay.

"Sure" he took off his shoes and followed you to the kitchen smirking at heeseung while doing so.

"Look, I don't want your explanation. All I want is a divorce" you slid the diamond band off your finger and set it on the counter.

"What?" Your ex-husband chuckled incredulously.

"I know exactly what you've been doing behind my back, and I don't want to be with a person like you. I can't live the rest of my life with a liar," your whole body shook with nerves and fear.

"What are you talking about? I haven't been doing anythi-"

"Don't! Just stop!" you yelled at him for the first time ever. "Save it for someone else" you tried to walk past him, but he grabbed you by your wrist heeseung was watching the whole time from the living room, and as soon as his father laid a finger on you, he was quick to stand up and make his way over to you.

"Don't you dare touch her again" you looked up and saw that heeseung had gotten in between you and was shielding you from his dad.

"Oh, so he speaks," his dad chuckled. "Stay out of this boy. It has nothing to do with you" he pointed his finger in heeseung's face.

"It has everything to do with me," heeseung gritted through his teeth. "You heard her what she said. Now leave her alone."

"Watch your tone with me, boy" he balled his fists and got ready to throw a punch at heeseung, and you screamed in fear, but luckily heeseung was quick enough to dodge out of the way.

"Stay back," heeseung said to you before turning back to his father. "Do not make me do this" he stood up to his father, looking down on him from the height difference heeseung had definitely outgrown his father. He was no longer the helpless teen boy that couldn’t defend himself all those years ago. He had grown into a man that was able to stand up for himself and protect the people he loves.

His father didn't listen, and this time, it was heeseung who was raising his fist and landing a powerful punch to his dad's jaw, knocking him straight to the ground.

Heeseung immediately jumped on top of him, pinning him to the ground while beating his face to a pulp with every punch. He could hear his mother's cries, and with every punch, he saw your sad face, and he went into a fit of complete rage, landing every blow, each hit more powerful, Than the last, as he screamed. "No more!" Over and over again. “I’m not letting you hurt me or the people I love anymore!”

You stood there in shock, whimpering with your hands covering your mouth as tears ran down your face. "Heeseung, that's enough" you went closer to him, and he pushed you back slightly and continued to punch his father's face in, pretty soon. It would be unrecognizable. "Heeseung, please stop" when he heard your broken voice, he immediately snapped out of it and turned around to see you crying. He quickly let go of his father's collar and stood up, wrapping you in his arms protectively.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. You could feel him shaking with pure rage, and it scared you, but you knew he'd never do anything to hurt you. "I'm sorry, love.” He spoke gently and stroked your head. “I just don't want him to hurt anyone anymore." He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"It's all okay now," you comforted him and rubbed his back gently.

He sighed and rested his chin on the crown of your head. "It's okay," he reiterated, swaying your body back and forth in his hold" "ready to go home?"

"But your hand" you held his bloody hands, examining the broken skin on his knuckles, and he winced slightly.

"I'm okay for now. Let's just get out of here" he kissed your forehead softly.

You looked at the floor where the man you once called your husband was laid out unconscious, and as you looked at his bloody tattered face, you felt no remorse, not after he tried to not only hurt you but heeseung as well after you found out everything about him you couldn’t feel one ounce of sadness for him.

Heeseung followed your line of vision, and he felt nothing but resentment toward the man he once called his father. "He can take care of himself" heeseung spat on his unmoving body and hooked his arm around your shoulder, and headed to the door. "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Heeseung said with worry.

"No," you whispered and shook your head softly while clutching onto his arm.

“Good” he whispered and kissed your cheek, a faint smile graced heeseung's features, and his eyes lit up as a warm feeling spread throughout his chest. He couldn't put into words how happy he was that you felt comfortable and safe with him.

You grabbed your suitcases and walked out the door hand in hand with heeseung. Once the car was fully loaded with your belongings, he opened the door and helped you inside, buckling your seatbelt and placing one last loving kiss on your temple as you smiled softly at him.

After he got in the driver seat and buckled himself in, he held your hand in his, rubbing soothing circles on your palm, and you're not sure what the future held for you and heeseung, but for right now, you were going to go wherever he takes you.

Cause, after all, it was heeseung that helped you break your unholy ties.

FIN.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who made it to the end.

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kairiscorner · 8 months

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question of the day: who would fall the hardest if they ever fell in love?

well... i've got 4 candidates in mind, and i think... (3/4)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

miguel o'hara. — guilty of falling hard for you.

summary: for all of his life, he's never felt the need to be in love or to love, he's never felt the rush, the surge of electricity coursing through his body when he's close to or with someone he even remotely finds spending time with enjoyable--until you happened, you came, and everything changed. pairing: miguel o'hara x gn!reader genre: fluff as FUCKKKK

miguel o'hara is a stern, serious man; nobody would approach him for anything unless it was absolutely necessary. he made it clear he didn't want to be spoken to by anyone unless he specifically requested to speak to them, he's that professional when it comes to those he works and associates with. though when it came to you, all professionalism it out the window–in private, at least.

miguel o'hara swore to himself that connections and attachment were the last things he needed right now. all that he needed was the safety of the multiverse to be ensured, and that would be it. it didn't matter to him what would happen next or what would happen to him, just not other people getting hurt at his expense or if be could help it. but thankfully, ever since he met that extremely wonderful, strong, kind, and compassionate somebody in his life that changed his everything... he had a new, more personal reason to want to keep the multiverse intact, on top of his other reasons, you were one of his only reasons to keep going.

miguel o'hara is a practical man, he doesn't do things that warrant sentiment, at least not anymore. though little by little, he noticed that you've always done things for him–such simple, everyday things he and other people could do for themselves–make coffee for him, buy him some treats you know he likes from your home dimension, and share with him little trinkets you want him to have or think he'd like.

miguel o'hara was moved, very gradually, by your little acts of kindness and generosity for him. in a way, he's felt the need to do the same for you in return, but all his attempts have been awkward; he refuses to acknowledge your words of thanks outwardly–just nodding or looking away from you and muttering a 'you're welcome' under his breath–and he struggles explaining why he got you those things or did those things for you, well, he always explains, even when the act itself is self-explanatory.

miguel o'hara wants to let you know that it's never his intention to come off as a big, scary grizzly bear of a man; he's just a guy, a guy who has anger issues and finds a lot of things wrong with himself that you find–for some reason–beautiful. "why are you romanticizing my flaws?" he'd ask you with a genuinely puzzled look and questioning tone; he'd never use the word 'beautiful' to describe his own plethora of mistakes, regrets, and reasons why people don't find him approachable or amicable–but you do, for whatever reason that may be.

miguel o'hara didn't think he'd find himself in this situation, being spoken to with these kinds of words–it doesn't feel real, he doesn't feel worthy of this kind of treatment. he's done many bad, irreversible things in his life; unknowingly hurt many, many people with his actions. hearing you say that it's not his flaws that you find beautiful, but rather, it's the fact that he's trying to correct the failures from those flaws he has that's beautiful.

miguel o'hara is perplexed, and he feels a little whirlwind in his stomach and his heart feels a little lighter; he feels... strange, though a good kind of strange–he doesn't want this foreign feeling to end, yet his mind keeps telling him to disengage, tell you not to keep praising him like this–because he knows, he'll fall for you even more than he already has.

miguel o'hara can't believe it, he admitted it to himself: he's fallen for you, he's still falling for you. this scares miguel even more than you can imagine; he's hopelessly, utterly, very much in love with you. you being a strong, capable, and respectable member of his team is one factor in him finding you so amazing–but you being a kind, gentle person towards him is a whole nother thing that made him spiral into this whirlpool of emotions for you.

miguel o'hara wakes up every morning thinking about you, spends the rest of his day with you in the front of his mind, and ends his day with you as his final though before drifting off to sleep–with you being in every one of his dreams ever since you two became close.

miguel o'hara never goes on with the rest of his day without the the feeling and memory of you being carried in his heart–he can't even begin to understand how through your constant smothering of kindness towards him did he become... fond of you. he has never felt this compelled to be near someone, to have his mind casually and involuntarily storing adjectives and compliments to describe you and how you you can be.

miguel o'hara is undoubtedly conflicted about what he should do to quell the feeling, because even though he wants to avoid it at all costs and to ignore that it's there, he desperately wants to be near you and hold you close to him–you're all that's right in the multiverse to him, and if you being kind to him is just in your nature and not because the multiverse decreed you to be so, he's even more in love with your pure and clean heart and soul and he wants to be with you all the more.

miguel o'hara tries to do everything he can to ignore the nagging of his heart and listen to the rationalizations of his mind; you're better off without him, and he's better off not feeling anything for you, even if it means he has to bury it–like he does with all other feelings he has–and never speak of it again to properly hide it from everyone, including himself.

miguel o'hara, though, just can't avoid you. he can't avoid your constant presence in his daily life, he can't avoid your tender, giving self–and he can't avoid you because you're permanently living in his mind rent-free, and you work with him. he doesn't want to avoid you, he just thinks that's what's best for you–but if you have no problem being near him, treating him like a friend as opposed to a mere colleague, and complimenting him in areas where he's confused and conflicted over and helping him grow as a person... then maybe the multiverse is cutting him some slack for once and giving him a chance to... to love, and to love deeply, passionately, and truly for the first time in ever.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0 @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok

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avenging-fandoms · 1 year

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hiii can i pls make a request for pedro pascal angst?? like maybe, pedro has been getting real distant to yn and yn is worried and tries to approach him but he ends up lashing out because he’s stressed out with work and stuff - and yn like has a moment of woah where they can’t swallow what he just said and pedro feels bad so he comforts them afterwards. thank uuu <3

You couldn't remember the last time Pedro slept in bed with you. He would come home late and fall asleep on the couch. He could make it to the bedroom, but he chooses not to. He doesn't even know how many nights you spent crying because he chose to do that.

You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, knowing he's been working hard. But he's not the only one who works and wasn’t the only one who was tired. You just wanted your boyfriend back.

Pedro would make small talk, and kiss you maybe once a day. You didn't know what you did wrong. You tried so hard to not be in his way and even help out, but he didn't budge.

You had a great opportunity to talk to him. Pedro was sitting on the couch on his phone, he was calm. You took a deep breath and sat a few cushions away from him, and he just glanced from the side of his eye.

"Pedro.. can I talk to you about something?" you ask softly and he shrugged. "I don't know what I have done to make you not want to be around me.." your voice started to shake and your eyes welled. Fuck. You were never good with confrontation. "But I just want you to tell me so we can fix.."

"No, Yn. There is no discussion that needs to be had. I’m fine, you’re fine, it’s fine” he snapped and you look at him angrily with tears in your eyes as you sat up and his eyes were still on his phone.

"You don't get to tell me how I'm feeling, Pedro. I don't feel loved, you barely come to bed anymore. You don't kiss me, come home for lunch, anything. I'm hurt, Pedro. Why are you-"

His head snapped towards you, standing up as his fingers tightly holding his phone as he looked at you with cold, dark eyes.

"Enough!" he raised his voice. You flinched. This had never happened before, and you were terrified to see your sweet boyfriend being such an angry person. "You don't get it, do you? How fucking exhausting it is having to film different projects at the same time, interviews, people on the fucking internet talking about whatever you do. You work in an office, our jobs aren't the same. You will never get it. Stop blaming me for everything. A relationship has 2 people" he fell back on the couch. "Just.. leave me alone and stop annoying me"

You felt like you couldn't breathe. You got up from the couch and headed to the bedroom, slamming the door and falling on his pillow and sobbing. The smell of him is gone. It was like he was dead and you were living with his ghost.

You bawled quietly into his pillow, curled into a ball as everything hurt. You sat up, knowing that's now how you should be spoken to, no matter what.

You grabbed a bag from your closet, grabbing shirts and whatever off the hangers all while crying all over again about what he said. You squatted on the floor in front of the bed with a hand on your forehead, hand on the bed as you supported yourself.

You loved your job and Pedro knew you loved your job too. You always told him his lifestyle would never be for you but you loved supporting him whenever you could. He used it all against you.

As soon as you left the room, Pedro's eyes trained on the wall as his phone screen dimmed. Every word was poisoned from his mouth as he spoke to you, all while yelling. That's not how he wanted to react, but he was so over exhausted and sad he couldn't help it, his mouth moved faster than his brain.

Pedro left his phone on the couch as his bare feet carried him to your bedroom. He could hear your sobs from outside of the room and he closed his eyes. This was his fault. In your 5 years of being together, he never yelled at you. It wasn't Pedro, this wasn't Pedro.

He grabbed the handle and twisted it slowly, pushing it open and saw you sobbing next to a pile of your clothes stacked in your bag. His heart fell on the floor.

"Yn.." his voice was inaudible. You turn around and glare at him, standing up. His eyes warmed up, and his eyebrows furrowed with his puppy dog look.

"Don't. How dare you speak to me like that?" you cry and he bows his head, picking it up and stepping towards you. "You yelled at me like you were a prison guard. And attacked my job! Are you serious?" you couldn't catch a breath between words and sobs.

Pedro's arms wrap tightly around you as your hands cover your face. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you and I'm so sorry I said those things. I know it's no excuse but my brain was so full of everything I had to do the past couple of months." his hands rub your back and you drop your hands.

"I know that, Pedro. I understand. But why have you been treating me like I was just someone you live with?" your sticky cheeks held pieces of your hair and Pedro pulled them off as he held your face.

"I don't want you to see me like that. But I know how shitty I've been, and I'm so sorry for everything" the sadness in your eyes broke his heart and he softly kissed your nose. "I have a month break next week. Why don't we find somewhere beautiful to travel for 2 weeks of that month, hm?"

You nod, a soft pout still on your lips. "But for now, how can I make up for what I did?"

You smirk. "You put all my clothes away while I take a bath. And you have to make it" Pedro chuckles and kisses the corner of your mouth and you placed your hands on his stomach.

Pedro headed to the bathroom and you followed, sitting on the toilet seat cover as you watched him prepare your bath. His iPad with your favorite show, bubbles and bath bombs, even petals.

He turned around and still on his knees, grabbed the back of your thighs and kissed from above your knee to the hem of your shorts, never once breaking eye contact. "You are the most beautiful flower in the gardens of the Heavens" his voice was hoarse, and bit of a whimper slipping off certain letters.

"I'm very close to forgiving you" you let out a hum as you sigh when Pedro pushes up your shirt and kisses below your stomach. Your hand gripped the hair at the back of his neck as his nails scratch down your back.

Pedro stands up and takes off your shirt, mentally moaning at the sight of you wearing no bra. "Your bath awaits, princesa" he kisses your neck and holds your hand as you step in and relax, hitting play on your show. "Enjoy, my flower"

Pedro leaves the bathroom and leaves the door open just a crack. He put the pile of clothes on the bed and sorted them, humming songs as he hung up your shirts and put away pants and socks.

You finished your bath and dried off, leaving the bathroom with his iPad and he laid on the bed with new clothes waiting for you at the foot of the bed, glass of wine next to your side of the bed.

You smile as you get dressed, combing your hair and jumping in bed next to him. His arms wrap around your back and your face squishes in his chest. "I'm sorry, for everything"

Pedro's thumb touched your chin and you smile, pushing your nose against his. "I forgive you. Now, I need you to make up for all of those kisses I never got"

Pedro smirked and grabbed your face, kissing you over and over against as you giggle. Soon the kisses turn slow and your arms wrap around his neck. This is was you needed, craved for months. You waited for this Pedro to come back, your Pedro.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal blurb #pedro pascal blurbs #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal angst #rpf #real person fiction

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livin4mybabes · 1 year

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I'm sick of it | jude bellingham

request: yes / can you write one about bellingham where they argue all the time and she’s so exhausted about that so she cries and he confort her please? summary: You and Jude are tired of arguing all the time, but he realises he's been a jerk so he tries to sort things out with you. pairing: jude bellingham x reader warnings: angst, fluff words count: 1.4 k author's note: kinda short but i hope you like it! just to let you know again, english is not my first language so pardon me if there are mistakes —feel free to tell me—

The last few weeks have been rough for you, Jude and indeed for your relationship.

It hasn't been the best because of some small or silly reasons —for you it’s not that silly, but for Jude it is— you end up fighting, even over things that aren't even worth to fight about.

One of those many arguments was over the fact that he was hanging out lately with his friends and it wasn't that it annoyed you at first because of course, he has every right to do so, but you barely saw him at night when he came home just for dinner or to sleep.

You were upset because he wasn't able to spend time with you, he was always out.

"Jude, you're never here, you never spend time with me. I don't even know when you're going out". You told him in annoyance, you were tired of the same old thing.

"Damn, you are so needy. I just want some time off..."

" I can't believe it Jude, I'm not asking you to be with me all the time, I'm just asking us to spend time together like we used to. Watch movies, go out to dinner, but clearly I don't see that you're interested. That's it, honestly, I'm sick of it."

“Yeah, and so I am and I think I want to stay away from you”

“Oh, so now you don't want me around anymore?”

"Come on, I didn't say that”.

"Jude, you just said that. You know I love you, I left my family, I left my friends, I left college to come here with you. You don't know how lonely I feel sometimes, I try to distract myself with online classes, even going out with the girls but I also want to be with you, I want us to go back to the way we used to be" You say with tears.

"I didn't force you to come here" You couldn't believe what he had said, it was hurting you to hear him say that.

"You know what? Forget it, I don't want to argue anymore and say something I didn't mean and might regret it". You said as you walked out of your room and into the living room.

This fight all led to the silent treatment, which has been the worst thing and a nightmare for both of you because you are both so proud. But certainly, you had reason to be angry after everything Jude said to you. You know that you can't escape conflict and that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. However, you and Jude were an imperfect couple that fit together perfectly, he treats you great and you know that from time to time, you might disagree on some things, but it never escalated to a major level, you always fixed it very quickly.

You used to wait a few days to calm down and talk about the problem so that you could try to figure out what the matter was and how you could fix it. Despite the fight, Jude still tucks you in bed when you sleep and you cook breakfast in the morning for both of you, maybe you don't show your love with words but with actions.

From Jude's point of view, it had been hard for him to understand that somehow you were right and he was acting selfishly. While he hadn't spoken to you, it was to give you time, because he knows you needed it after that big fight you had. And he is also certainly tired of fighting with you, so this time he wanted to fix things, fix what he said and knew he shouldn't have acted, he was sorry because yes, you had left many things in your country to follow him because he had asked you to, he was sure that he wanted and in fact, he wants to continue enjoying achievements and defeats with you by his side.

Days after the fight, Jude arrived at your shared flat after training ready to fix the situation because he doesn't want to lose you. As he walks in, the first thing he does is head to the living room to see if you were there like you usually are watching a TV show or even a movie, however, you're not there which makes him frown.

He heads to the small office thinking maybe you're in some online class but no, you're not there either. He quickly goes to the door of your room and he hears you sobbing, so he enters the room to find you under the blanket and he could see your body moving because of your crying.

When you heard that he had entered the room, you tried to stop crying, but you were still sobbing a little.

"Baby..." you heard Jude coming closer.

"Hey, are you okay? Please don't cry, I don't like seeing or hearing you cry." Those words instead of calming you down, made you cry even more.

"Go away." You said between cries and hiding more under the blanket.

""Baby, please, let's talk. I want us to work out whatever it is that's going on with us." You felt the mattress sink next to you.

Jude seeing that you weren't responding, decided to start talking.

"Well, I apologize for how I have been acting and everything I said, because I really understand that I acted like a dick to you when you didn't deserve it after everything you have done for me and I want you to know that I am very grateful to you. I think sometimes a discussion is necessary to understand each other and to make sure that we are communicating well, that we are expressing how we feel and I didn't take that into account in our last discussion and I'm sorry for that.

I want us to understand each other, because that's what it's all about, we are in a relationship where we have to grow and learn. And I know that relationships are not easy, but it needs some work on both sides, so I assure you that I will do my best".

By that time, you had stopped crying.

"Jude... I'm sorry too, because I know we've been arguing about silly things that I sometimes start, but I'm really hurt by what you said, but I want to fix this too. We should have the confidence to say what bothers us or what we disagree with without fighting. Like you said, that's what a relationship is all about: teamwork.

We have to do everything we can so that this argument doesn't happen again and of course, fix and talk about what's wrong, just like you, I will also do my part to avoid having fights. I love you and I missed you baby" You told him while hugging him and hiding your face in his neck, you immediately smelled his perfume which calmed you down, it gave you peace.

"I love you too" he kissed you on the head and you felt him smile. "What do you say tonight we go out to dinner at that restaurant you love so much?"

"When we get home we can watch a movie." You murmured into his neck.

"Or maybe something else to make up, you know" He told you as he smiled cheekily.

"Judeeee." You gave him a little punch on his abdomen.

"Babe, we have to recover lost time because you don't know how much I missed you, not kissing you, not hugging you, not touching you and I think there's no better way to recover lost time than making love" He said to you as he turned you around so he was on top of you and started kissing your neck.

"Jude..." You said as you moaned softly.

"I love you baby, you really are the best thing that ever happened to me." He said as he looked into your eyes.

"You made me go from emotional to horny, I hate you." You told him as you pouted.

"You know you love me, but well, you better take a shower, we have a dinner". With that you got up to head to the bathroom and felt a slap.

"Bellingham, stop or I'll get mad again."

"Don't act like you don't like it, I know you missed it just as much as I missed you and your ass" He said as he laughed and you closed your door to your bathroom.

He was impossible, but you loved him like that and you were happy you could fix things.

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham oneshot #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham blurbs #football blurb #football imagines #football imagine

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 2 years

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I Came for You {J.W.}

Pairing: John Wick X Reader

Word count: 2.4 K

Summary: John broke up with you, and now, evil men are using you as bait to get him. They say he still loves you, that he will come... But you don't think so.

{John Wick Masterlist}

{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

You tried to tell them. Over and over again you tried to tell them.

The man they're seeking doesn't love you anymore. He won't come. Not for you.

But they won't listen. It doesn't matter what you say.

One of the men, the tallest of the three, hits you again, with the back of his hand, and you fall to the cold floor from your kneeling position.

“Stop it.” A younger man in the back says. He's the scared one. Or the only one who let it show, his hands cupped together, moving, folding, and unfolding. “The more we hurt her, the more–”

“John and I aren't together anymore.” You cry again, cutting him off, a hand on your cheek. Many tears are soaking your face, dry and new. And more keep coming. “He broke up with me a year ago. He won't come!”

Around six hours ago, you were walking back home when a van came. You tried to run because you knew. You just knew it had something to do with John because there was no other way a bunch of men so well dressed, with a black van would want you. But you tried to run, moved by instinct.

But, an hour later, you were locked here, in this dark, humid room.

And every hour John doesn't come for you, they come to beat you up. Or cut you. The promise is that they will let you go once John is dead.

And that promise made you question your feelings again.

In a matter of seconds, your brain shot you through a long trip. Memories of the only man you truly loved. Madly. And as much as you tried to forget him in the past year since he broke up with you for whatever reasons, you still love him.

At that moment, every kiss, every hug, every day you spent with him came back, in full power. The day he told you about his past. The day he said he loved you. The day you said it back. The day he promised he'd never, ever let you go.

He may have lied.

But you didn't.

The love you once felt for him didn't vanish at all. And is this love, as crazy as it feels, that makes you pray that he doesn't come.

John may be the Baba Yaga, but it doesn't change the fear that takes over at the thought of him being in the slightest danger.

So this is where you are now. Hoping the man you love, who doesn't love you anymore, won't show up, won't put himself in danger for you.

Love is a funny thing, so hard to understand.

“Oh, but he will.” The man says, crouching down to look at you. There's hate in his eyes, and it makes you shiver. “Hour after hour, I'll come, pretty girl.” He takes your chin in his hand, squeezing your jaw painfully. “Hour after hour, I'll take hurt his pretty girl, and hour after hour, the word will get to him of how much I'm hurting you. And he will come, right into my trap.”

More tears come, and you taste blood in your mouth. “John doesn't love me. We're not together, he won't come.” You try again, hoping they'd let you go. Anything you can tell yourself to try to avoid the idea that you'll most likely die here. Alone. “We haven't spoken ever since he ended things.”

With a scoff, another punch comes, right on your cheek, and you're down again, on the floor. “C'mon, boys. Let's give it another hour.” The man stands up, and you see them moving out through the curtain on your hair.

“She's a tough girl. She will last many hours. Days, even.” Another one says.

“If she doesn't come to save her, he will come to avenge her. Either way, he will come.” The first one answers and the metal door is closed.

The clicking sounds on the lock make you sigh, still on the floor. And there's where you remain because there's nowhere to go. No bed, no mattress. Not even a sheet to protect your body from the cold. The room, with white tiles on the floor and light, dirty blue walls don't have one single piece of furniture.

It feels like a coffin.

Pushing yourself to the wall, groaning, you manage to sit up. You smell like sweat, tears, and blood. But mostly blood. Your body is covered in bruises, quick to form after the constant assault. The skin broke in some spots on your legs and arms as you tried your best to protect your torso. But since you couldn't do much for your back, it also has some bleeding spots. And there's a sharp pain in your ribs if you inhale more than just a little.

And your face... Your lip is bleeding again, your skull is taken by a terrible headache. Cheeks probably purple too, and swollen eyes from the crying.

The crying that comes back when you struggle to hug your legs to your chest, sobs shaking your body.

“Don't come.” You murmur into the darkness. “Don't come, John.” He deserves better. He deserves another life, another chance. After his past, after the loss of his wife. Even if not with you, John deserves to be happy. Safe. “Don't come.”

Repeating the words, you lie back down, slowly, moaning in pain. Maybe you'll die if you sleep. Or maybe not, because your body is trying too hard to stay alive.

One way or another, they'll come back soon enough.

And the torture will begin again.

•••

You're not sure for how long you were out. Ten minutes? Half an hour?

But when you hear footsteps, you know it was another hour. And so it'll happen again.

You start hyperventilating, your broken body pleading for a break. Covering your face with both hands, you start crying again, all your senses overcome with fear, terror, pain...

“No!” You yell the moment a hand touches your shoulder, the scream makes your throat burn, and the attempt on moving away from the aggressor makes pain swallow you completely. “No! No, no, no!”

“(Y/N)!” The voice, raised above your own, sends a wave through your body. Something warm, soft, familiar. But yet, you don't move, eyes on the floor in front of the man's shoes, hair covering your face, shallow breaths barely enough to satisfy your lungs. “It's me.” He says, and this time, you start crying for a different reason.

Your voice comes low this time, barely audible. “J-John...” You call, raising your eyes slowly.

“Yes, sweetheart.” He says, sadness, and desolation in his voice. “I came for you.”

When you see him, his face half-lit by the yellowish light coming from outside, you're overcome by such a sensation of safety, seeing the only man who could take you from this place and take you home safe and sound... That you're body just gives up, and you sink into darkness.

•••

Even in your dreams, dark and painful, you know you won't be hurt again.

When you wake up, your eyes slowly open, and you take in a familiar smell. The smell of the softener John uses on his sheets.

You're at his place.

“John!” You cry, out loud, but your voice is but a whisper, throat dry, burning under the effort of trying to speak.

An old woman comes out of nowhere, in a white lab coat. She quickly leaves, and you stay there, crying, in numbness that can only be explained by some kind of painkiller, administrated through an IV.

Fast footsteps and then him, coming through the door, rushing to you. The man that you have loved too much. The man that you still love. The man that saved you. “John.” It rolls out your lips, as the tears roll down your cheeks.

“Shh. I'm here, my love. Don't speak, please.” He says, and, in his eyes, as he sits very carefully on the bed, you can only find love. The same look, the same intensity, the same caring stare, watching over you. So you don't question it, you don't doubt it. John still loves you, because you've learned to read the mystery of John Wick. Jardani Jovonovich, lies like an open book before you. “You're hurt. Badly.”

“I wanna shower.” You mutter, knowing you're disgusting. Blood, sweat, and tears. And the memory it all brings. “Please.”

He sighs because he knows you so well. He can either help or you'll just find a way to do it yourself. “Slowly.” He takes the IV off, putting something to stop the bleeding. Then, he picks you up, so carefully, as if you're made of glass.

Stripping before John is something new. You both decided to wait until marriage, but in your state, you don't give it much thought. John means safety, security, and comfort. All the good things. John is home.

Once the clothes are cut open to give the doctor woman access to clean and cover your wounds, John opens the warm water to fill the tub, the precise temperature you love. He then starts washing you, letting the water with blood down the drain before filling the tub again, until both you and the water are clean. Then you both stay there, you in the tub, and John seated on the floor next to it, in silence. Until you decide to break it.

“John, why–”

“I'm so sorry.” He cuts you off, and you feel his eyes on you as you look down at the small ripples of water you create with a hand. “It's my fault. That... That was why I broke up with you. Because I was scared something like this would happen. But if I was with you, I could've protected you better. They wouldn't dare to take you. I... I heard from a weak link in their army that they only got you because you weren't under my... Protection anymore. They were only hoping my affection for you would be enough to make me go save you.”

You listen, silently, breathing slowly. The reason doesn't matter. The pain is still clear, but what happened is in the past. Everything you want to do now is healing. “And do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you still have any affection for me? More than to just save me?” You have to ask. You have to hear it from him, to be sure, to know where to put your heart.

John sighs, and after long, several seconds, you conclude he won't answer. And it's okay because you won't push him into it. Never. But then... He looks at you, straight into your eyes. “I don't...” He starts, but his voice fades, and you can see it in his expression as he tries to fix up his thoughts, but then in order. That's how much you know John. “I've never been in a relationship since Helen, and I... I thought I was out back then, but you know what happened after... And I'm scared it'll happen again...”

“Don't you think I know the risk?” You mutter, a tear rolling down. “I do. But the thing is, if we were together, they wouldn't have taken me. Because they were scared of you. And the truth is that you were protecting me before, and not putting me in danger. I'm not saying this so we can get back together, just saying the facts.”

“And do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Have any affection for me?”

Chuckling, you roll your eyes, making pain shoot through your skull. “Yes, dumbass. I was back there, praying you wouldn't come to save me because I was so scared they could hurt you... And don't even get me started on you being the ‘Baba Yaga’. You get a scratch and I'm already freaking out.” For some reason, John giggles. “What's so funny?”

“You must be feeling better. You're already running your mouth.”

“Oh, shut it.” Crossing your arms, you look away from him. “You'll have to look after me until I'm healed. And I don't care if we're together or not, I'm your responsibility until the doctor says I'm not.”

At that, John nods, stands up, and leaves.

It makes your heart sink. Why the hell did you say that? “John, I... I didn't mean it, ok?” You did, of course, you did. Nobody would take care of you better than John. But you don't want to force him into it. “I can go to the hospital. Or have a nurse with me at home.” No answer. “John?”

It takes two minutes for him to come back to the bathroom. “Did you call me?”

“Yes, I did. What do you have there?”

John sits back down. Not really sit, just gets on one knee near the tub. “I bought this four months after we started dating because I was so sure... And... I didn't want to do this while you're naked, covered in wounds in my tub and I certainly didn't ever plan on breaking up with you and that was the biggest mistake of my life so...” John shows you a black, square box, already open. Inside, there's a ring, a diamond with little pink stones, three of them, on each side. Pink sapphires, you know. Because he knows they're your favorites.

“John...”

“(Y/N)... I'm a simple man. All I ever wanted was a normal, simple life. And for some reason, God above decided to bless me with a second chance when I found you. So, I'd be the happiest man alive if you give me the honor of being my wife.”

You're frozen, sobbing, eyes locked on him. You're nodding, because it takes a while for you to find your voice again, and then, all pain is forgotten. “Yes, Jardani.” Finally, you mutter, a hand covering your mouth. “A trillion times, yes.” Throwing your arms around his neck, you bite back a groan when the pain insists on reminding you of your broken body.

“I love you, sweetheart.” He says in your ear, and you melt against him, knowing you'll be safe now. Happy, with the man you love.

When you pull away, John slides the ring on your finger, placing a kiss on your hand. “I'll never let you go. I'll never let you get hurt again. I'll do everything I can to make you the happiest woman on Earth. I promise, my love.”

“Well, I promise you the same things... Even though I have zero fighting skills but how to break someone's nose.” You both giggle, and you look at the ring and then back at him. And that's when you find John sliding a second ring, just like yours but without the stones, on his finger.

“Now...” Carefully, he picks you up, carrying back to the bedroom and pacing you gently on the bed. He wraps the towel around your body, always a respectful gentleman. “I'll nurse you back to health and while I do so, we can start planning the wedding.”

Biting your lip to hold back a smile that escapes, you nod. “I like the idea, love.”

#john wick imagine #imagine john wick #john wick x y/n #john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick fanfiction

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vikwrites · 9 days

Text

Money, Money, Money - Tony Stark

CHAPTER 1 Summary ➣ Starting off as simple, transactional love during the height of Tony’s alcoholism, devolves into something real. Pairing ➣ Tony Stark x Reader Word Count ➣ 1.2k words Warnings ➣ Slow Burn, Power Imbalance, Enemies to Lovers, Large age gap, Mildly Pretentious Narrator. Author's Notes ➣ The first, full-fledged Tony Stark series, so excited for this! I've always wanted to write a Materialistic!Reader so here it is! Happy readings <3

On the 86th floor of Stark Tower, atop a mini-bar, sat a delicate glass of Vodka Martini, 3 fluid-ounce Yamazaki, 1 fluid-ounce dry vermouth, with 3 small olives minutely pierced onto a thin gold-plated skewer.

The thin stem of the crystal glass was passed to your gauzy, manicured fingers, in exchange for a crisp stack of ten dollar bills surrendered to the bartender, you didn’t bother to count.

The plump skewer of olives swirled freely in your nearly full martini; minute drops threatened to spill over the edge of its fine rim. Luckily, you had caught the droplets before they had been discarded onto the carpeted floor.

Figures adorned in hues of gold and silver flitted about the lavish parlor, each mirrored the twinkling lights of the Manhattan skyline outside in their respective shimmering gowns, each one more expensive than the last.

The atmosphere was lively, yet the main attraction has yet to arrive. You had heard mentions of the infamous Stark around; his name carried a certain mystique, spoken under hushed whispers amongst the attendees. You had never really met him face-to-face, considering he was the CEO of the company, but your position at Stark Industries held up a pretty good reputation, earning you enough, and granting you an invite to the party.

“Do you think he’s seeing anyone?” You picked up on the conversation between a few women sitting next to you on the barstools. The woman in question, doused in the overwhelming scent of Chanel No. 5, was dressed in a form-fitting Valentino dress. Her voice carried through the air with a thick New-Yorkean accent, a bleak resemblance to her flashy, ostentatious appearance.

“Quit it, stop trying to get into Stark’s pants. You never will.” The blonde next to you responded, patting the other on the shoulder playfully. You caught a glimpse of her manicured nails, adorned with a glossy velvet finish in a similar fashion to your own. However, unlike yours—which were neatly trimmed, the cuticles of her nails were a bit messy. A detail that wouldn't normally matter, but for some reason stood out to you in that moment.

Is she wearing a Cartier bracelet? Your jaw clenched at the sight of her bracelet, sparkling with diamonds and catching the light in a way that made your own bracelet pale in comparison, it was obviously more expensive than yours. The fact alone pissed you off.

The room was filled with a swarm of pretentious individuals, each one flaunting their wealth and superiority. It was suffocating, being surrounded by so many egotistical assholes with their holier-than-thou attitudes. They may have money, but it didn't make them any less shallow or arrogant. You had this sixth-sense of being able to tell how much of an asshole specifically by what adorned their money-laced wrists—whether or not they wore a Patek Phillipe or a Jaeger was enough insight into their entire persona.

“I’ve got a better chance than you at least, Stark would love me!” The first woman's voice snapped like a taut wire, dripping with disdain. Her eyes narrowed and glinted with malice as she shot dirty looks at the others, her loathing almost palpable.

Holier-than-thou attitude, as you had said.

You thought their behavior immature, not wanting to pay attention anymore to such infantile arguments. Fighting over some uber-rich billionaire who could give less of a shit who you are after you had warmed his bed for a single night?

Pfft, fuck no, you were just here for the cocktails.

You brought the crystal glass to your lips, and took your first sip. The alcohol burnt as it cascaded down your throat, leaving your mouth with a spicy aftertaste, you could never really get used to a Martini.

A part of you was contemplating asking for more, but the sensible side knew that ending up slobbering drunk at a party and waking up at the ungodly hour of 2pm with missing jewelry and a killer hangover was not exactly your idea of a good time.

The smooth sip of your drink is abruptly halted by the sharp sound of glass shattering, followed by the shrill voices of the ladies engaged in a vicious argument. Their heated words and swinging arms in-turn send glasses crashing to the ground, littering the once-pristine carpet with sparkling shards of broken glass.

“Did you just call me a bitch?” The blonde's voice rose to a screeching crescendo as she yelled, her face flushed with anger. With a loud thud, she slammed her purse onto the table.

“Yeah, I did—bitch!” Another responded, her voice a bit more high pitched than the other, yet still carrying the same sanctimonious attitude, standing up and facing her with a smug smirk on their face.

“Now, ladies. Must we really be resorting to calling each other names?” A voice echoed from atop the stairwell. The women’s dispute had been abruptly quelled, the whole room seemed silenced, and all eyes seemed to be glued onto the figure.

There stood Tony Stark, dressed in a perfectly-styled, deep-burgundy suit, no doubt Tom Ford, the barchetta pocket gave it away. His hair was styled in his signature quiff, slicked back to a T. And of course, he topped off the ensemble with a pair of red sunglasses, which you’d always found amusing since he'd wear them indoors.

“Welcome, everybody. I would introduce myself, but it seems that you know who I am.” Each step he takes down the glass staircase, each time his Louboutin boots hit the glass stairs, resulted in a loud, echoed clap., resonating around the room. “I’d personally like to thank all of you for attending. As you know, it happens to be my anniversaire today, so I thought to myself, why not throw a party?”

"What's with all the staring, is my suit on backwards?" Tony chuckled, his eyes scanning the room as he flashed his signature smirk. You knew, however, he thrived on attention, as if it were fuel for his larger-than-life persona. Flamboyant was practically his middle name; Tony Flamboyant Stark does have a nice ring to it.

"Jarvis," Tony’s voice carried a hint of excitement as he spoke to his AI, "let's crank up the music and get this party started." The monotone response did as so.

After Tony made his grandeur entrance, you retreated to your lone seat at the bar, grateful for the temporary escape from the chaos. The previously bickering women had vanished, leaving a few neighboring barstools conveniently open for your solitude. You took a deep breath and savored the cool air conditioning and the soft murmur of conversation floating around you.

But just when you thought you had some peace and quiet, you heard the shuffling of a chair being pulled out next to you. Expecting one of the argumentative ladies to return, you turned to find Tony Stark himself settling into the seat beside you, nonchalantly pulling out his wallet and fishing out a few bills.

"So, could I buy you a drink?"

⎊ back to masterlist

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kerryweaverlesbian · 4 months

Note

I want destiel with 13 or 22 (the prompts you reblogged)

Take it easy, with me please, touch me gently, like a summer evening breeze

"You know what this mix is called, Cas?" Dean murmers, pressing his forehead to the side of Castiel's and changing their sway to match the new rhythm.

They've been dancing alone in the kitchen, slow and close, for something like half an hour, and these are the first words either of them have spoken since Dean pulled Cas in. On one side their hands are tangled loosely together, and on the other their arms cross over at their waists, keeping them both pressed together, chest to chest.

"No," Cas says, playing along. They both knew the tape had already been in the stereo when Dean had reached out and pressed play. It wasn't one Cas recognised; all slow, a lot of crooning women.

"It's called, 'For Cas, if we win'. I made it while you were gone." Dean's breath warms the tip of Cas’s ear, and his meaning warms him everywhere else.

"Was there an 'if we lose'?"

Dean shifts his head back to look Cas in the eye. "No. I was never going to happen."

Andante, andante, just let the feeling grow.

Enchanted by the devotion in Dean's eyes, he's caught of guard by his sudden, amused smile. He understands when Dean sings along, sotto voce, "Touch my soul, you know how. Forgot that was coming."

"You've touched mine, now," Cas reminds him, "Or, the closest thing I have to one."

That's how he'd gotten out of the Empty, Dean cradling his Grace to his chest and then fighting his way back through miles of black, sucking sludge, beset by angels, demons and the Empty's own power as he went. The place had been a lot more active since the last time Cas had been stuck there, but no less bleak. There had only been a chance for Dean to finally choke out an, "I love you too, you fucking idiot," when they'd collapsed back out through the portal before he'd fallen asleep for 15 hours straight.

"Your hands were very gentle," Cas notes, and he can feel Dean's face heat as he moves them cheek to cheek, an endearing and unsuccessful attempt to hide his blush. "I felt very secure."

"I didn't want to drop you," Dean admits at a mumble, then complains, "You were freaking slippery, man."

"My apologies," Cas teases, and Dean knocks him with his hip in playful retaliation. "If it helps, you fought me all the way from Hell to your gravesite."

"Sounds like me," Dean says, with a prideful grin that Cas can hear in his voice.

I'm your music. I'm your song.

"Yes. Had I known then how you would change me, I might have held you even tigher."

"Or you might have let go, save yourself the trouble," Dean quips, but there's a fragility to it that has Cas stop the dance and take Dean's cheek in his palm, guiding him to look at him.

Play me time and time again, and make me strong.

"I wouldn't trade the life that we have built for anything. All the time that I have loved you has been-" Cas can't help the tears starting to catch at his voice - "Has been the best of my existence."

Dean's welling up along with him. Perhaps they will both cry every time he tells Dean he loves him. A very small price to pay, in comparison.

"Cas," Dean says in a rasp, and knocks their foreheads together gently. Two teardrops fall from Dean's eyes to Cas’s cheeks with the movement.

Andante, andante, tread lightly on my ground.

No matter who moved in for the kiss, they both lean into it, careful and soft and everything they haven't managed to be with each other until this point. The passion shared between them is palpable, even as the kiss remains relatively chaste. There's no finish line to run to, anymore. No Apocalypse to beat. They have the time to dance together, just as slowly as they please.

Andante, andante, oh please don't let me down.

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chromietriestowrite · 5 months

Text

Already Gone

Pairing : Bucky x gn!reader

Summary : You wake up one day to find that Bucky's gone. You don't know why, or what happened. When he comes back, you sit down to have a much needed conversation.

Warnings : angst, established relationship, lack of communication, heartbreak, hint of eating disorder, Bucky doesn't talk much, he knows it's too late

Word count : 460

A/N : Hi guys, this is the first fanfic I wrote, I know I have a lot to learn so don't hesitate to give me feedback ! English is not my first language.

'Do you still want us to be together?'

'I don't know anymore...'

The words you'd both had been dreading to hear.

Bucky had been gone for a week, this is the first words you've spoken to him since that time. Your heart broke when you said them, but you couldn't ignore this, not anymore.

'You left.'

'I needed space.'

'But you didn't tell me. How do you think it felt when I woke to find out you were gone?'

You took a breath. You didn't want this conversation to be a fight.

'You needed space, fine. You need anything, that's okay, we talk about it and we figure it out. But you have to talk to me.'

'I didn't know how to say it.'

'We're in a relationship Bucky, without communication we don't have anything!

It's okay to need space. In fact, it's good to realise when you do.

What is not okay is for you to leave in the middle of the night without saying anything. No note, no nothing.'

'I texted you I was okay.'

'Yeah, the next day. After I'd been worried sick. And all you said was not to worry. I didn't know when you'd be back, or if you'd be back. I didn't know wether I'd done something wrong.

You left without telling me. I spent the worst week because of you. My last meal was the day before you left, I haven't slept, I was at my worst, I needed you and you weren't there.'

'I know, I screwed up, I'm sorry.'

'Sorry's not enough. Not anymore. You can't hurt me and then come back with a 'sorry' and expect everything to be okay.'

'I know.'

'I don't want it to keep happening either. I never want to hurt you. I'll do better, we'll do better.'

'This is not the first time I was hurt because of you, of us. We keep hurting each other no matter how much we try not to.

I cried all the tears I have. I don't want it to keep happening.'

'I don't know that we can.'

'What can I do to make it better?'

Bucky was in tears, you could see the hurt in his eyes. He was pleading, begging you to give him another chance. But it was all too much. You knew this was going to be some of the worst pain you've ever felt, but eventually you'd both be okay. You believed that. What you didn't know was if you'd both survive hurting each other again.

'I don't know that there's anything you can do.

We've built a relationship on the fear of losing each other. I don't know that we can come back from that.

We're unhappy when we're not together. We can't spend too much time apart.

I don't have a life outside of us and that's not fair!'

'I know it doesn't mean anything anymore, but I'm sorry.'

'I'm not saying all that's on you. It's on me too.'

You couldn't do this anymore. You couldn't be an us anymore.

'I love you. More than anything in this world. I don't want to lose you.'

I know it's missing a lot. It's basically a conversation with not enough description, not enough of an understanding of what the characters are feeling. I don't know how to do that yet but when I do, I'll rewrite it.

'I love you too. I'll always love you. But I'm already gone.'

It felt so good writing this. I hope you'll like it!

#bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader #angst #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x gnreader #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes fanfiction

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heyhihellosworld · 11 months

Text

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐈𝐈

Mason Mount x reader + Kepa Arrizabalaga x reader

Word count: 4.5k

Summary: Maybe Kepa isn't the one and maybe feelings can surface, even after fifteen years of friendship

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut?

Notes: This is a whole mess because I started with so many ideas and landed with cero lol

Grateful for all of you who see and read this! x

When did things become so complicated?

You couldn't say but you knew the exact minute things had changed for the worse, the evening not leaving your thoughts.

The game had just begun again after halftime but it wasn't that interesting, or maybe it was you just couldn't focus with the storm that was raging in your mind. It felt like the storm had been going on for the last month, never calming down and never stopping. It didn't feel like it ever would.

Kepa was between the poles, the only reason you were there watching from the first place. He had done a good game so far and you were proud of him, you really were.

Mason wasn't playing, according to Chelsea he was out with some injury. Not that you would know from him anyway as he hadn't spoken to you since that evening. He had vanished and if you hadn't followed all his teammates and Chelsea on social medias you wouldn't know if he was alive or not. Not that they were providing you with much either way.

Maybe Kepa would tell you if he died but Mason wasn't exactly a topic you spoke about regularly. In all honesty you didn't speak much at all anymore.

You sighed as you felt yourself going into over-thinking mode.

"You-uh what?" you stuttered out, feeling yourself sit down on the floor at the revelation. It was not what you had expected, not at all and it took you with shock.

Mason looked at you intently, watching your every move but he didn't expect you to do or say anything. He just needed to say those words, utter what had been weighing him down for years because it had been too much lately.

He didn't expect you to jump up and say you loved him more than a friend nor did he expect you to kiss him he just needed to let it go once and for all.

You looked up at him with widened eyes making him move his gaze away from you and to the floor.

"Mason" you breathed, feeling a thousand thoughts spinning around your head. "Mason wh-what?"

Mason shook his head, he knew how it was, now he had uttered his thoughts and feelings and now he needed a break. A break to think and stop his feelings from drowning him whole. And that meant a break from you.

"You heard me, I like you. Now it's said so let's forget it and move on"

You had never thought about Mason in any other way than what he was. Mason was Mason, you had never thought about it more than that. He was your childhood friend, your best friend, your comfort and your safety, simply Mason. To label your relationship had never felt necesary which now put you in a hard situation.

You forced yourself to look at the game as the opponents went on pressing again, setting Kepa in action in the Chelsea goal.

Kepa was nice, sweet and hot. There was nothing wrong with him or your relationship, not at all. You loved cuddling with him after his late games, loved eating in the sofa, talking long into the night and the sex was awesome

But

Something had been off. Not with you and not with him but with it all. No matter how many times you had sex or made out he still didn't feel like your boyfriend. He hadn't technically been but he felt more like a friend than anything else. You didn't get butterflies from him like you felt like you should get, he was nice hanging out with and nice to fuck but that was it your feelings didn't go deeper than that.

The last two, three weeks had been a bit different too. Kepa had been off a lot since he had been traveling to Germany and had matches every three days but you felt like it was probably a good thing. Stuff had been rough and it had made you realize that you didn't like the basque in a romantic way.

It had ended quietly and peacefully one late evening at his place after a game at the bridge. Both of you confessing it wasn't working out in a romantic way and that had been it.

You weren't exactly sad it had ended because you had barely dated him but it did leave you even lonelier and even though you had both agreed on staying friends it wasn't like he was with you all the time.

You still couldn't really wrap your head around it, how would you handle this all if Mason some day decided he wanted to be your friend again. How did you act around someone who you knew liked you? Would he ever want to be your friend again or was that too hard now?

You breathed the thoughts away, you didn't even know how Mason was thinking so no need to stress one step ahead.

It felt almost like a bad joke thinking about these past few weeks. Only some weeks away you were over the moon over Kepa at your and Mason's regular movie-night, you had laughed eaten and cuddled up on the couch like always and now. Now you had broken things with Kepa and Mason, but the latter more involuntarily.

You wanted to scream at yourself for the negative thoughts spinning around you head, the thoughts never ending and it made you go crazy.

The game had ended, what a well spent hour and a half, not even looking at the game but being too wrapped in your own head. You cursed yourself as you looked at the scores, 2-1. Chelsea had done one goal but you hadn't paid attention enough to see who had done what.

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair in a stressed manner as the arena started to move. The fans starting to exit whilst the player greeted each other and thanked the fans who had came to watch.

Your heart almost fluttered out of your chest as you saw a familiar head of hair walking onto the pitch. Applauding the fans and shaking hands with some of the opponents. Your eyes followed him like he was a fridge and you had magnets for eyes.

He hadn't played but apparently been sat on the bench. He smiled softly as he went around in the arena, his eyes moving over the stands.

His eyes suddenly met yours, probably feeling stared out which he was. His lips pulled up in a small smile as he watched you before walking out the tunnel and to the changing rooms.

You felt like crying as his hair dissapeared, your heart wanting to run down to catch him before he left but your mind stopped you, knowing it wouldn't be the smart thing to do.

You stood at Kepa's car, waiting for him to emerge from the changing room as you had promised to hang out with him and a couple of his friends after the game. You would usually wait outside of the changing room but since Mason would be there and he had made it pretty obvious that he didn't want to see you right now, that he needed a break you wanted to respect that.

Stood outside you regretted your choice bitterly, it was fucking freezing outside and you were freezing your ass off as you stood there and waited for the basque who took forever.

"If you're styling your hair in there i'm gonna fuck you up" you muttered into the darkness, picturing the Spaniard standing there with his stupid brush, not knowing you stood here dying.

"What did you say?"

You thought you had a heart-attack for a second, yelping out as the dark shadow approached you, squinting to be able to see in the darkness

You took a deep breath "Fucks sake! What the hell" you scolded, hearing the guy chuckle as he came into eyesight.

You felt yourself choke as you saw Mason looking down at you, your bain racking for something to say.

"Uh-a-I-"

He shook his head with a lopsided smile, stopping on a appropriate distance from you.

"Hey" he smiled, your smile mirroring his as you returned the greeting.

"I didn't know you were in the squad tonight" you admitted, watching him shake his head "Don't dwell on it, you should't have to avoid places you love because of me"

You shook your head promptly, "No I don't need to but I want to respect you and your feelings"

His soft eyes smiled down at you, his hands in his pockets as he rolled on his heels.

"Is that why you are standing here in the cold?"

You nodded, pursing your lips as a shiver ran through you from the cold.

"Come on, let's wait in my car" Mason offered, nodding at his car only a few meters away and you more than gladly jumped into the familiar vehicle.

He quickly started the car and turned on every heat button possible as you shook, trying to get yourself warm

"You're really stupid you know?" Your eyebrows raised in mocked hurt "excuse me?" "Standing outside in this weather isn't exactly smart" he grinned, your heart constricting at his beautiful smile.

Mason felt at peace talking to you again. Seeing you on the stands didn't make his heart tug, it made him smile. He had missed you terribly, not being used to not hear and be with you everyday.

"Yeah yeah, slander me for trying to be nice" you huffed, loving the smile you pulled from him yet again.

"What are you even doing here?"

"Waiting for Kepa" you shrugged, immediately noticing the change in the atmosphere as you mentioned his teammates name.

"Right, I forgot" he muttered through clenched teeth, making it clear he had never been as okay with you dating his teammate as he had made out to you in the beginning.

"Mason-" you begun but he shook his head harshly "No no, it's fine"

You sighed, tempted to roll your eyes at the stubborn man beside you but you restrained yourself from it "Me and Kepa, we are not together anymore, well we were never officially together, has Kepa not told you?"

Mason blinked at you, swallowing hard, almost looking embarrassed as he fiddled with his chain "to be honest i may have avoided Kepa lately" he confessed, your eyes not being able to stop from rolling this time. "Why-why are you not?"

You shrugged, meeting his startled gaze. "We gave it a try but neither of us felt romantic feelings towards each other so we decided to just stay friends instead"

Mason nodded in understanding, not being able to hide the relief that washed over his body, his eyes swimming over and shoulders relaxing. "I'm sorry" he forced out

You scoffed before chuckling at him, resting your head against the neck of the seat. "Sure you are Mase"

Mason didn't answer but his grin told you everything you needed to know.

A soft silence settled in the car as he fiddled with the heat buttons before he broke it, his voice soft as he spoke

"Ben is having a get-together on Wednesday, do you want to come?"

Your eyes met his face, his eyes staring down on his hands, hair messy over his eyes. He really needed a haircut soon, his stubble had also grown noticeable since the last night you'd seen him

You nodded, humming softly "Yeah sure, as long as this come from you"

He nodded, meeting your eyes with tenderness "maybe it could be the re-start?" You smiled, feeling like you would explode with happiness "I will be there" you nodded, looking as his face lit up before turning to look out the window, he looked utterly gorgeous in the late light.

"Kepa is here" Mason announced snapping you out of your thoughts, "Text me the details?" you asked as you climber at the car "sure"

"Oh and y/n?"

You turned back to look at him again, a questioning expression on your face "yes?"

"Nice shirt"

You laughed, turning your back to him to show it properly, it was your Mason shirt you had gotten last season with the new design. "I know right"

The grin he gave you in return was etched in your mind for the rest of the evening.

You felt almost nervous as you stood outside of Ben's gigantic house. You pursed your lips before opening the door. Last time you had been here everything had changed but now it didn't feel like it could be any worse than that time.

The night was very similar last time you'd been at Ben's, the boys playing fifa and joking around. The only difference was that this time you weren't hooked on Kepa. You were more a part of the group and specifically you hung out a lot more with Mason.

Mason, sweet Mason sat beside you, murmuring in your ear all the gossip and fun stuff you'd missed out on. He had missed you just as much as you'd missed him and he was giving his all to catch up, make you feel like old times again.

He would never loose feelings for you but he had time to think and now it didn't feel like he wanted to die every time he saw you. It stung, but he didn't wanna die and that was enough because he loved you too much to let you go. Even if all he could ever be was your friend he would take it.

"Did you know Ben hooked up with that girl last week?" Mason hummed, eyes glistening as he gossiped about his friends.

"Hey, stop telling on me" Ben whined from the other side of the couch, giving Mason a bad glare "You did?! Wow this is huge news Ben, finally getting laid huh?"

Ben's eyes rolled "You know what, I haven't missed you at all actually"

"Hey, that's mean Benji" you pouted, trying to keep a straight face at his unimpressed expression but you failed miserably.

Mason was a sweetheart all evening, making sure you had nice company, made sure you got the food you wanted, got you drinks and drove you home when the time had come. It felt like nothing had happened and you knew it took a lot of him but the fact that he did it meant the world to you.

"Thank you Mase, it was really sweet of you" you smiled softly at him, locking eyes with him as he parked outside of your flat. "Don't worry" he smiled, bidding goodbye as you hurried up the stair, your heart fluttering as you catched his smile as you waved him goodbye.

His eyes sparkled as he waved up the stands, he looked genuinely happy and it warmed up your heart, making you feel happy for him. Finally things started to look clearer again, Mason's career looked bright, he got to play regularly and he seemed to be enjoying it for real. The smile never leaving his lips as he went around thanking the fans at Stamford bridge who had cheered them on their first win in what felt like forever.

You caught yourself smiling like an idiot as he waved up at you, your heart stuttering as he looked at you.

The last couple of weeks had been amazing. Mason had kept on his words to restart what had been a little fallout and it felt like nothing had happened. The more days that went the more you liked the British joker. He spent more and more time with you and soon it was regular again, it felt natural and normal, the old habits coming back. Your feelings grew and grew but it felt like they never stopped growing, growing stronger everytime you laid your eyes on him, your heart fluttering and a smile forming on your face. It went beyond frienship and that scared the shit out of you.

He looked at you as you fixed with the tv, changing to Netflix and getting cozy on the sofa. When you met his gaze he smiled at you, his lips tugging upwards in an warm loving smile. "What?" you giggled, watching him shake his head and raise his hands "no nothing"

You giggled as he plopped down next to you, his arms immediately wrapping around you and keeping you close, your head resting on his chest.

You tilted your head up to him as you felt him watching you again, his soft eyes almost catching you off guard. It felt like you were drowning in his eyes, swimming in the emotions he displayed so openly.

It felt like magnets were pulling you closer until his nose bumped yours but then insecurities took over him. His eyes looked hesitant, scared to move forward. You smiled softly at him, your hand landing in the nape of his neck, gently pushing him down in a soft sweet kiss.

His lips moved slowly, softly and almost carefully against yours, savoring the moment as you let yourself go, melting into him. One kiss turned to two, three and soon the tv was long forgotten as he kissed you more intensely, no longer scared to cross a line as you made it pretty obvious what you wanted.

When you didn't have any air left in your lungs you pulled away, resting your forehead against his, thumb stroking his cheek affectionately as he gazed into your eyes.

He looked conflicted, like he didn't know what to feel or say. "Tell me what you're thinking" you begged. "I'm thinking I don't know what just happen, I-I thought you didn't like me more than a friend"

"I didn't"you answered, seeing him wavering "But I don't know, these last couple of weeks I have gotten other feelings, strong feelings. Like when I look at you I get butterflies, when we kissed right now it felt like I was gonna explode" you tried to explain, his face-expression impossible to read.

"So, you have feelings for me? More than a friend?"

You nodded slowly, looking at him apprehensively, "I don't know how you feel but I-"

He cut you off with his lips on yours you immediately answering it, tongues intertwining, hands grabbing at each-other both on the line to desperate but it didn't matter anymore.

"Hii Ben" you smiled, hugging him as he led you into the living room. Mason was right behind you, his hand on the small of your back as he walked behind you, listening to what Ben was telling you about as you stepped into the living room, greeting the others.

You felt Masons hand grip your waist tightly as you hugged Kepa, smiling as you turned back to your boyfriend, kissing his cheek with a teasing grin.

Mason guided you to the sofas where the rest of the guys were sitting. Kai had his girlfriend Sophia next to him but other than that it was only the boys, all you'd met before.

It was easy to be with them, all kind, funny and welcoming. Nothing felt awkvard or stiff. You did feel a bit awkvard though sitting next to Mason, because you didn't know how you should act with him in front of his friends. It had been almost two months now since you'd kissed for the first time and after that everything had just moved on, smoothly and quickly.

You'd decided to give it a go which was both terrifying and amazing. It scared you to not know what would happen if Mason suddenly stopped feeling for you, what if he had thought about it so much he had became hung up on it but when you made it to reality it wasn't that fun?

You worried and Mason knew that but he also knew that his feelings wouldn't stop. He wasn't hung up or obsessed with the thoughts but he truly loved you and that wouldn't change overnight. It was a scary step to get over but he had never been happier.

The discussion about you as a couple hadn't been long, you had just went with it, tried it and felt it out without too much discussion and questions. That had worked really well but that meant that you hadn't discussed about publicity. Did he want to be open in front of his friends or act like you were just friends? Did he want to sneak around or go about?

Mason's hand on your thigh snapped you out of your thinking, you quickly flashing a smile at his frown. "Are you okay?"

The words were low in your ear, his closeness making you shiver as you nodded "I'm fine" you smiled as convincing as you could.

He nodded, giving you a small glint between narrow eyes which made you laugh. His arm came behind you, pulling you closer to him which pulled a smile to your face.

Something you loved about Mason and always had done was his ability to read situations and people. He knew what you needed or what the situation needed without a single word.

He declined playing the first round of FIFA for the night and instead opted to sit and talk with you, Kai and Sophia who had also turned down the offer. Mason seemed to have no problem at all behaving around his friends but you still felt stiff. You overthought every move you did and every word you said.

Soon it felt unberable, like it was to stiff and awkvard but you couldn't make sense of how you should behave. When the boys went out to the kitchen to fetch some more drinks Mason took the opportuinty to ask you again, demanding the real answer.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he hummed, his eyes staring into you making it feel like he was looking through you. "Yeah I'm sure" you tried but you already knew you wouldn't be able to crawl out of this one without telling him the truth.

"Y/n" he repeated, tearing a groan out of you to which he chuckled. "Fine, I feel awkvard as hell, okay?"

"No not okay, why? I thought you liked them? Do you want to leave?" Your head shook, smiling at his concerned face "I do like them it's not them that make me awkvard it's us"

"Us?" he asked in confsuion, a small tension growing in his chest

"Not us us but... ugh" you groaned "I don't know how to act around your friends" you finally admitted, making his worry melt away and a small smile making it's way on his face instead.

He looked at you, prompting you to elabrotate your thoughts.

"Well I dont know, I mean we agreed to try this but we never talked about others. I don't know how to act around the others because I don't know what you want"

"I still don't get it" Mason admitted making you groan out a chuckle at your bad explaining skills.

"I don't know if you want us to act like friends, if you want us to behave like a couple or what you want and it makes me stiff as fuck"

Mason's smile made you frown, not liking the way he found your misery amusing. "Don't worry so much" he tried but you scoffed "I suck at being social, you know that"

Masons laughter echoed in the room, lightning you up "Don't hang yourself up on it, you don't have to hide anything because we are trying a relationship and we are both serious about it so why would you even think to hide it"

"I don't know, we haven't talked about it" you muttered, looking down in your lap. "I know we haven't but we are both serious about this, right?" "Of course"

"Then there is nothing to hide" he smile, his fingers tilting your ching up so you looked him in the eyes. His lips met yours softly, catching you off guard at first but soon you melted into him. Kissing him back with a small smile on your lips, feeling the worries melt away.

"Okay okay" Ben gagged out as they walked into the room again "enough"

All of them were grinning at you, wiggling their eyebrows and making your face flush. Head turning away from them to contain your embarassement

"Aww did you get shy now?" Ben mocked you, teasingly smiling at you, giving you the impression he already knew about this.

"Stop being an ass Ben" Mason scolded his friend but he still smiled, finding amusement in your flushed face. "Let her be" Sophia scolded, flicking Ben away

"When did this happen?" Reece smiled politely, breaking the teasing "Uh, two months ago?" Mason hummed, giving you a small squeeze as you gained your cool back.

"Are you together?"

"Is that the hottest you kissed?"

"Have you fucked?"

Your eyes widened at Ben's question, spread laughter filling the air as you hid your face again, not being able to take this awkvardness

"Ben fuck off!" Mason chuckled, hugging you into him "It's so fun to make her that flustered" he argued, your eyes glaring at him.

"Not to be rude or anything but wasn't you just with Kepa?" Christian asked, your eyes fleeting away again as Mason gave him a stern look but luckily Kepa answered for you

"Nah man it was nothing serious and we ended it a couple of months ago"

Your eyes sent him a thankful look which he only smiled at, making sure you knew it was fine. You had told him about Mason after you'd kissed him for the first time, feeling you owed it to him after everything and he had only been happy for you, telling you about a girl he had met in Spain when visiting the last month making it easy to maintain friends.

No more questions was asked and the boys went back to chatting, laughing, drinking and eating as someone had ordered take-away.

"See, it's all fine" Mason smiled, your eyes slimming "Except for Christian thinking I go through the group" you hummed, his eyes turning soft "He didn't mean it like hat and even if, it dosen't matter, does it? Me and you both know that it isn't like that"

You smiled, nodding at him "Thank you Mase"

His smile mirrored yours, lips coming to meet yours again in a sweet kiss, going in for another Ben interrupted again "Come on guys, no no no"

"Just don't look you sensitive ass" Mason joked, pecking your lips once more before pulling you into him, thumb gently stroking your hip as you smiled contently at him.

_____________________

@xjval @sessgjarg

#footballer imagine #footballer imagines #footballer fanfiction #footballer fanfic #chelsea #mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount imagines #mm19 #kepa arrizabalaga #kepa x reader #kepa imagine #kepa imagines #kepa fanfic

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haesunlover · 7 months

Text

long to be home. (chapter one)

pairing: huang renjun x female!reader

series genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, eventual smut

word count: 4.8k

chapter warnings: fluff, angst, slightly suggestive, talks of smoking, daddy issues, english dialogue is in italics, korean dialogue is normal, renjun is so hot it makes me sad, i want a renjun in my life, mentions of stealing cars, swearing.

a/n: ahh, i'm so sorry for taking so long to update! i've had this in my drafts for a while but i had a (very expensive) family emergency hence my long absence. but i'm back now and hopefully updating more often! please enjoy.

renjun had a concentrated look on his face as he fixed your cap and mask, "remember, my love. we need to be extremely discreet. no mask or hat removals unless absolutely necessary. at least until we reach the flight lounge."

you nodded your head, leg shaking up and down in the car as it pulls up to the airport drop off zone. the anxiety is really start to bubble up at this point. renjun can instantly tell and grabbed onto your hand that was in your lap, giving a quick squeeze for assurance.

the driver put the car into park and jumped out of the car to help unload yours and renjun's bags. the two of you exited the car, seeing that there was barely anyone around which instantly put half your mind at ease. renjun made his way from his side of the car towards you on the path, grabbing his bags. "you ready?" he asked.

you grabbed your bags as well, letting out a sigh. "as ready as i'll ever be."

the jets roared to life as the plane began to take off the incheon runway. the loving boyfriend renjun is, booked first class tickets for the two of you, so you could feel more relaxed about the upcoming few days. thankfully, the plane was a quiet one with only about ten other passengers on the 3am flight.

as the plane began to ascend, renjun turned to you in the daybed the two of you were sharing. "alright, let's go over the plan again. your friend picks us up, takes us to the hotel, we get checked in and then.." renjun trailed off, waiting for you to finish his sentence.

"we get dressed and go surprise my mum."

"wait, she doesn't know you're coming?" renjun asked surprised. "i thought everyone would know you're coming."

"i thought i'd be nice to surprise her! i haven't seen her in nearly two years." you said, pouty.

renjun laughed, throwing his head back. "what if she's not home?" he asked, still laughing.

you thought about it for a second, "then i'll just let myself in."

he kept laughing, just a lot softer this time. "baby, how are you supposed to let yourself in?"

you hold up your index finger to his lips over his mask, giving him an playful annoyed look. "it doesn't matter. we'll figure something out."

renjun nodded, grabbing your wrist and pulling it down onto the pillow where your heads were resting. "alright. and.. have you spoken to your father about coming?"

your face dropped at his question. "uh, no not yet. i'm honestly not sure if i want to see him." you mumbled, recalling the memories of your father in the last year of being in australia. as if watching your already broken family fall apart even more wasn't bad enough, your father turned into a man you didn't even recognise anymore. he turned from an emotionally unavailable father into a drunk, drugged up angry narcissist.

your boyfriend nodded, putting his arms under his head. he just stared, waiting for you to continue at your own pace. "i vowed never to see him again but.. at the same time i want closure? i absolutely resent him. i bet you, we could go to any place in australia and he would've ruined it for me somehow. he's done that much damage." you resumed.

a sigh left renjun's lips as his hand comes up to rub circles onto your waist. "i understand. have your siblings seen him since everything went down?" he asked.

"i don't think so." you replied.

"that's alright. you guys do what you have to do."

"ugh, i love how supportive you are. no matter what. i love you so much." you sighed, wrapping your arms around his head and neck, pulling him to your chest. he reciprocated the hug, nuzzling into your chest.

"is there anything i need to know about your family before i meet them? it'll be the first time. please give me a run down on them so i don't mess up. saying a quick hi on the phone is very different than actually meeting them." he mumbled into your top.

you pulled away, "oh baby, you might wanna sit up for this. it's a lot."

he sat up on the daybed, following your actions. "alright i'm ready."

"my mum, sooyoung, she is.. pretty much me. we have the same personalities. please don't go into shock about how we treat each other. it's just how we roll."

renjun nodded intently.

"my step dad, david, is australian. i've only met him once when they came to visit before me and you even met. he's super lovely. he treats mum well so that's all that matters. there is one problem though. he only speaks english."

your boyfriend ran his hands over his face, groaning. "shit, i'm not confident enough to have full conversations in english."

you leaned over, grabbing his hands away from his pretty face. "baby, trust me. you'll be fine. you speak english really well. if you get stuck, i'll be there to translate. or mum or my siblings." you assured him, giving the backs of his hands a quick kiss.

he let out a deep breath, nodding his head. "alright, tell me more about your siblings."

"well.. let me make it easy. think about pokemon. sunhi, my older sister, is the original, boring one. jae, my younger brother, is the next evolved one. kinda boring but also kinda fun. then i'm the most evolved because i think i'm the best sibling." you explained, hoping not to sound too crazy.

renjun stared at you confused, his mouth slightly agape. you mumbled a quick, 'what?' due to your confusion from his reaction. "did you really compare you and your siblings to pokemon?"

you nodded your head excitedly, "yeah! trust me, it'll make sense once you meet them. they will definitely torment you for the first few hours so just brace yourself for it. they would just want to approve of you. i also have two stepsisters but i've never met them personally. all i know is that they like dolls and kpop."

your boyfriend sighed, eyes flicking around the place as he mumbles to himself, trying to absorb all of the info. "okay, i think i got it. i just hope they like me." he pouted, feeling a bit nervous himself.

"oh my baby, come here." you said, pulling him into a quick hug. "you'll be fine."

"they know i'm an idol, right?"

"uhm.."

"right?"

after clearing customs and baggage claim, you and renjun walk into the waiting area of the international arrivals lounge at the airport. the sun was starting to set as the time was around 5pm. the lounge was packed and loud with people sitting and standing all over the place.

"shit." you whisper under your breath, the mask helping to muffle the sound. "can you see lia?" you asked, pushing the trolley away from the main door to try and have a better look for her. all of a sudden, you hear a squeal and see a bright green poster wave in the air.

"found her." renjun laughed, walking towards the sign. finally lia emerged from the sea of people with a bright smile on her face. she comes running to you, to which you embrace her in a big hug. her giggles vibrate on your chest before the two of you pulled away.

"hi guys! welcome to australia." she exclaimed excitedly, showing off the sign. you and renjun inspected it before you gasped and quickly snatched it out of her hands. renjun tried to grab it off you, wanting to have another look.

"please, i wanna see the photos!" renjun argued playfully before you finally gave up and let him look at the sign again. glued onto the sign was big, bold letters reading 'welcome home' along with photos of you and lia from the two of you were in high school, many years ago.

"lia.. you are off to a bad start." you sighed with your face turning extremely red.

"y/n, you were so cute with your little glasses and high ponytail!" renjun cooed, rolling the poster up and putting it with your luggage. "hi lia, i'm renjun. it's so lovely to finally meet you in person." he formally introduced, holding his hand out for lia to shake.

"oh renjun, as long as you treat y/n well then there is no need for formalities." she smiled, pushing his hand away and pulling him into a hug instead. renjun sighed and hugged her back, happy that he's already got the approval of someone important. "besides, you've heard so many of mine and y/n's in depth and gross stories over the phone that i think it'll be weird for you to be so formal."

renjun pulled back from the hug, nodding his head with an embarrassed look plastered on his face, "yeah, i think you're probably right about that."

"should we get this show on the road?" lia asked, waving her car keys.

"oh shit. renjun, did we pack any helmets? we'll need them with her driving." you groaned.

"hey!"

after getting checked in and ready at the hotel, the three of you piled into the car and began your adventure to your mum's house. music hummed softly in the background as stared at the streets passing by.

"are you ready to meet them, renjun?" lia asked, peering at your boyfriend through the rearview mirror. you looked over your shoulder for renjun's response.

he let out a shaky breath, nodding his head slowly. "i think so. it's my first real relationship so i've never had to meet anyone's parents before."

you reached your hand back, placing it onto his knee and giving it a gentle caress. "you'll be fine, baby. just be yourself."

he smiled gratefully, placing his hand on top of yours. "do i look okay? first impressions are vital."

you scanned over his outfit quickly, taking in the black trousers and green blouse unbuttoned slightly. "you look amazing in anything, renjun. it makes me so envious." you sighed, turning back around to face the front. "do i look okay?"

lia shakes her head, laughing at herself. "you look like shit."

you quickly punched her arm, "shut up."

she squeals at the sudden attack, still laughing. "i'm kidding dude. you look cute." you glance down at yourself, hoping the blue, floral wrap dress was appropriate enough for the upcoming reunion.

"i hope so."

"why are you so nervous?" lia asked, finally starting to calm down.

"it's just so weird to be back. what if it's awkward? i left everything behind. besides being anxious about that, i feel like i've gone back to when i lived here and i'm the helpless teen girl who had no idea how to deal with any of her shit." you sighed, throwing your head back into the seat.

lia hummed, understanding your point. "it makes sense. i can't exactly comment about how you're feeling, well, because it's your feelings. but your family won't be awkward around you, i promise you. you didn't leave them behind, you left to move forward in your life. they know that. but you also gotta remember the good stuff too."

you let out a flabbergasted laugh, "what good stuff? my head is clouded with all the shitty stuff."

"remember how we used to steal your sister's car? all the late night maccas runs we had? the adventures we'd have when you needed to get away? all the times we'd go to the beach after school instead of studying?" she asked.

"you stole your sister's car?" renjun exclaimed, leaning forward in between yours and lia's seats.

you nodded, reminiscing the times. "you'd understand why we'd steal her car when you see it." the roads became more familiar and soon enough, the street you grew up came into view.

"you ready, y/n?" lia asked, turning down the street. you hummed, nodding once more with your best friend parking on the driveway.

"ready as i'll ever be." you sighed, getting out of the car.

the white two-storey house stood in front of you. everything was still the same. the trees surrounding the front of the house, the doormat, garden gnomes from your childhood tucked into the maintained gardens, the single frangipani tree leading the way to the back of the house.

everything was still the same except now when you look at the house you once loved and called home, an uncomfortable feeling sat in your chest.

[flashback to 2018]

"i'm not fucking doing this." you mumbled, grabbing the clothes inside the wardrobe and throwing them roughly into the suitcase laid out on the bedroom floor.

"y/n.. what are you doing?" jae peeked into the room, concerned plastered all over his face. your older sister, sunhi, standing behind him with a knowing look.

you laughed tiredly, "i'm leaving. i'm not staying one moment more. they're arguing again. i can't stand it any longer."

sunhi lightly nudged jae out of the way, moving towards your shaking figure. mascara stained your cheeks from all the tears that couldn't seem to stop. your breath began to go the same speed as your racing heart.

hyperventilating, sunhi grabbed onto your arms gently and led you to your bed. "slow down. breathe." she instructed, sitting next to you and holding you close.

after several moments, your breath finally slowed down. you looked to your older sister, silently asking her for help. "i.."

"you're leaving for good? it's about time." she finished your sentence, knowing her sister intuition would be right.

you nodded, defeated. "i can't be here anymore. i can't stand being in this house much longer. i can't stand being near that asshole. i need to leave. "

the screaming finally stopped down stairs. it was silent for moments before the sound of the front door slammed, echoing through the house. the three of you sat on your bed, watching your father from the floor length windows. he kicked his car's tire and yelling out a profanity at the top of his lung before finally getting into his car and speeding off.

"mumma?" jae jumped off the bed and left the room momentarily. he called out, leaning over the stairs. "you here?"

a quiet exchange happened on the stairs between jae and your mother. soon enough, they both came into view with jae's arms holding onto her. the colour drained from her face, seeing the scene of her daughters huddled together and a suitcase not too far away.

"you're leaving?" she asked, tears in her eyes. her eyes were already puffy, clearly emotional from the previous argument.

your eyes softened at the sight of her. "mum, i can't stay around him any longer. he treats us like absolute shit. i can't believe you only just realised what a fucking awful person he is. we've all been telling you for years."

she shook her head making her way to the bed. she sat next to you and pulled jae, her big baby, to sit upon her lap. "i know. he's gone for good. i promise."

a wave of emotions hit you. happiness, grief, anger, relief.. you fall back onto the mattress, all of your pent up feelings coming out in the form of loud, violent sobs. soon after, the other three joined laying down on the mattress, forming a cuddle pile with sniffles and cries coming from everyone.

minutes passed until the crying finally slowed down. sunhi cleared her throat, making everyone give her all the attention. "i think y/n should still go."

you shot up into a sitting position, staring at your sister as if she had grown another head. "he's gone so why would i need to leave now?"

everyone followed, sitting up as well. "y/n.. you have so much potential. you need to go, spread your wings. you can't be stuck here all your life. your passion and energy is so much bigger than anything you'll find here. go." sunhi continued sadly, giving a soft smile.

your eyes faltered from her face, down to your lap. you looked down in shame for even considering leaving after the past month that had just happened. the last month, filled with arguments, threats and tears which tore your family apart. "i can't go."

"why not?" your mum asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"mumma, he's gone now. i don't need to leave. i don't want to leave you alone."

she sighed, cupping your face. "my baby, you need to go. i won't be alone. i'm fine. my strength is you guys. your happiness is my happiness. you've been talking about going to korea for ages. so go there. find yourself. if it doesn't work out, then come home. we've always got a place for you. but i know it'll work it so please just go. for me.."

you looked into her eyes, tears brimming them once more. you had to do it, not only for yourself but for her too.

a hand brushed against your back, snapping out of your daze. "you okay?" renjun asked quietly as you turned to look at him.

you flashed him a tight lipped smile, nodding your head. "yeah, i was just thinking."

"be excited. you get to see your family for the first time in years!" lia gushed, coming on the other side of you. you couldn't help but smile at your best friend's optimism.

nodding your head and taking a deep breath, "let's go."

the three of you moved towards the front door with you opening at softly as possible. as you ventured into the house, you spot your mother hunched over in the kitchen with her back turned to you. a smile crept onto your face as the aroma of vanilla and butterscotch wafted through hall.

seeing her made all thoughts of worry and anxiousness fade away. finally reaching the kitchen, you placed your chin onto your mum's shoulder. "smells good, mumma." you smiled.

her head snaps to look at you with shock written all over her face. she screamed, dropping the mixing spoon into the bowl causing a loud clatter. she throws her arms around your neck, jumping up and down excitedly. "my baby!" she exclaimed still jumping.

by the time the two of you parted, tears filled both of your eyes. "what are you doing here?" she asked, cupping your face and scanning over your face. "goodness, you've grown so much."

a laugh fell from your lips, "mum, it's been two years. i haven't changed that much. i'm here to see you guys. we had a break and thought it was time to come home."

"we?" she asked, tilting her head in confusion. your mum looks over your shoulder to see renjun. a gasp fell from her lips as she rushes over to greet your boyfriend properly for the first time. renjun bowed down respectfully, staying like that for a few seconds.

your mother grabs his elbows, making him stand back up before embracing him tightly into a motherly hug. you wiped away a stray tear that sneakily fell out. your heart fluttered at the sight of two of the most important people to you together.

the two exchanged quiet words that you couldn't quite hear but that didn't matter as you saw jae descend from the stairs, "y/n?" he asked confused.

he came into the kitchen, trying to process the fact that you are standing in the same room as him for the first time in years. you stared at him in shock. he finally grew into his face and body. the cute little boy you grew up with was now a tall, handsome man. the curls that he used to try and gel down as a kid now fell nicely around his head. tattoos lined over one of his arms and he clearly found his style.

"jae? holy shit, you've grown up so well!" you exclaimed, pulling him into the biggest hug you could give. he reciprocated but with a hint of a hesitancy. he pulled back after a few seconds, still somewhat puzzled.

your little brother finally said something, "what the fuck are you doing here?"

everyone in the room, including yourself, laughed at his lack of a verbal filter. "i'm here to see you guys and also i need inspiration to keep writing my show."

he nodded his head, staring at you this time with happiness. he was never one to verbalise his love for anyone but his looks meant more than words. jae turned over to look at renjun who still stood with your mother with an arm wrapped around each other.

renjun's eyes widened and smile dropped as jae made his way towards him. the size difference between the two made you chuckled. your boyfriend stood up straight, trying to look the slightly bit bigger than he is but still jae towered over him.

jae scanned renjun up and down as if he was analysing him. your brother maintained a stoic face for a few more seconds before asking, "do you treat her well?" to which you boyfriend nodded straight away. "do you promise to keep taking care of her now and in your future?" and renjun nodded once more.

"i promise you. she means the world to me." renjun said with confidence now, a big smile on his face.

jae nodded his head, smiling at bit before extending his hand for renjun to shake. "then welcome to the family."

as the two exchanged greetings, the sliding door connecting the kitchen and patio opened. in came sunhi, david and two little girls covered in sweat and dirt.

"holy fuck, i'm sweating my tits off out there." sunhi sighed as she kicked off her shoes. she takes off her cap and throws it onto the table, smiling as she looks around at everyone.

her eyes finally fall on you and her smile drops. it takes her a few seconds to properly register before she jumps into your arms. "geez sunhi, we're not little kids anymore. it's not easy to carry each other anymore." you wheezed as she clings all her limbs around you.

"suck it up." she whispered, holding on tighter.

"i missed you so much." you sighed, closing your eyes as you enjoy the feeling of being able to hold your older sister again.

after a few minutes, she finally lets go and stands for herself again. sunhi stares happily for a few seconds before patting your cheeks gently. "welcome home, little sis."

your stepfather, david, came over and gave a quick hug before gesturing to the girls next to you. "welcome back, y/n. this are my twin daughters, jade and mila."

you smiled, hugging each of the girls. "hi girls. i'm y/n. i'm sooyoung's daughter. it's lovely to finally meet you."

both of the girls smiled shyly before mila nudged jade. "is that your boyfriend over there?" jade asked quietly as she pointed back to renjun.

"yes, it is." you smiled proudly. "would you like to meet him?"

the two girls nodded their heads as they moved to either side of you. as the three of you started to walk the short distance to renjun, mila spoke up. "he looks like a member from nct."

you brought your hand up to cover your mouth as both you and your boyfriend laughed in sync. renjun held back the rest of his laugh with an amused smile as he waved. "hi girls. it's so nice to meet you. i'm renjun. from nct."

jade and mila's jaws dropped, looking between you and renjun. "what the fu-"

"mila!"

"what the fudge?" the ten year old tried to cover her slip up. "are you really him? so that means you know mark lee?"

your boyfriend nodded, laughing. "he's my best friend."

"he's actually going to be here in a few days. so will all the members of nct dream." you said before turning to your mum and siblings to continue, "mark, one of the members, is rina's boyfriend. she's coming too."

sunhi clapped her hands in excitement, "no way! i haven't seen rina in years. i fucking miss her so much."

rina was practically apart of the furniture when she lived in australia. on school mornings, she was there before you even woke up and was with you until it was time for her to return back to her house. even on days when you weren't home, rina still made sure to come see your family.

"i'll need to make a lot more food. when are they coming? we'll have a party! to celebrate you coming back home and to welcome the newcomers to our family." your mother gushed excitedly.

"they'll be here in two days." lia said, coming into the kitchen.

jae shook his head in confusion, "where did you come from?"

"oh, i was filming the little reunion." she smiled, waving her phone. "hi everyone, i'm here too."

nobody was really surprised as she was there often to check up on your family for you. "we'll have a barbie. i'll go to the shops tomorrow." your mother started rambling as she walked to the whiteboard on the fridge and jotting down what she wants to make.

"alright, mumma. let me know what time tomorrow and i'll go with you. in the meantime, i'm gonna go show renjun around." you excused the two of you, sliding your hand into renjun's.

the two of you made your way to the front of house, back to the front door. you go through the hall, showing all the rooms he'd need to know. "my room was upstairs. should we go have a look?"

renjun let out a hum in affirmation, following you up the stairs. "baby, your house is huge."

"i know right. it felt like a mansion when i was little. my room was just up here." you smiled as you turned right at the stairs. you halted, seeing the wooden letters you painted and stuck on the door when you were seven. you pushed down the handle, opening the door.

everything was the same. the bedsheets, the posters and photos on the wall, the desk and piano, the reading nook. everything.

you stood still, eyebrows furrowed together. "they left everything the same. from the day i left. i thought they at least would've changed it into a storage room or something else." you muttered as you entered the room.

renjun walked closer the photo wall, inspecting each photo. "is that you, lia and rina?" he asked, smiling brightly and pointing to a photobooth strip taken while ditching school one day. you walked closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. you hummed softly, reminiscing the memory. "you guys look so different now."

you laughed, looking at him. "years of braces, accutane and dancing does that to you. gosh, lia still has her baby face. i'm so envious. she doesn't age." you mutter as you inspected the photo closer.

"thank you." lia said, coming right next to you out of nowhere. both you and renjun jumped and stared at her in silence. she flashed an awkward smile, scratching the back of her neck. "did i interrupt something?"

renjun analysed her for a few seconds longer before saying, "now that i've actually met her in person, she reminds me of jisung. those two would get along great."

your head shot towards your boyfriend with wide eyes, "right?! i've been saying that to rina since i met jisung! they'd be a great couple."

"and that's my cue to go. i don't need a partner." she said, grabbing her keys out of her pocket. "sunhi said she'll take you guys back to the hotel later. i need to get back home. i've got an assignment due tonight. we'll talk later." lia gave a hug to each of you two but lingered for a bit longer while holding you.

"thank you so much for today, lia. message me when you get home safely. we'll plan something for tomorrow." you smiled, staring at her lovingly while cupping her face.

she nodded and grabbed your hand, swinging it for a few seconds before leaving the room.

a sigh fell from your lips. "it's so weird to be back. i wonder.." you mumbled, opening the wardrobe and grabbing down a box filled memento from your childhood. digging around, you felt the small carton of the box you were looking for. you quickly pulled it out with a smirk plastered on your face, turning around to show renjun.

"cigarettes?" he asked, shocked.

you laughed, nodding your head. "rina and i would have a cheeky ciggy some nights."

"i didn't know you smoked."

you cocked your head, "there's a lot of things you don't know about me."

he squinted his eyes, looking you up and down. "i don't know whether to be scared or turned on. or both?"

a loud laugh fell from your lips at the same time a knock came on your bedroom. "come in!"

the door handle pushed down and in came a familiar face you didn't expect to see, especially not today.

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