Toman Groupchat
Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing
Desc: Mikey lost his V-card
Mikey: just had the sex
Mikey: it's not all that, tbh
Mikey: i didn't like it
Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually
Mitsuya: that's great 👍
Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒
Smiley: we want details
Draken: whose we?
Mitsuya: no we don't
Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all
Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐
Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word
Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?
Baji: i think sex is great
Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves
Smiley: LMAOOOOOO
Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?
Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again
Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho
Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this
Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)
Baji: why does it have to be a girl
Mikey: bro
Hakkai: 💀
Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes
Hakkai: 😐
Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man
Baji: what about assholes
Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp
Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane
Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??
Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom
Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying
Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?
Draken: are you stupid or what
Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey
Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again
Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy
Takemitchy: what?
Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much
Takemitchy: HUH
Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥
Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-
Chifuyu: nvm
Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore
Angry: no it's a slur
Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao
Angry: yes
Baji: oh
Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time
Angry: several, one times. but okay
Angry: i still love you
Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you
Angry: 😕
Smiley: ...
Angry: ☹️
Smiley: i love you too
Angry: thank you
Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment
Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds
Smiley: you should all kill yourselves
Mikey: man i really want to
Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird
Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho
Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore
Baji: we must just, believe you?
Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes
Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try
Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?
Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine
Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much
Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og
Mitsuya: 😐
Mitsuya: yeah i guess
Draken: 🤞
Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now
Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk
Mikey: what's asexual
Draken: google it
Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn
Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others
Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation
Draken: i'm ace too if that helps
Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that
Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic
Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again
Draken: and fuck you Smiley
Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?
Draken: yes actually
Angry: i see
Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(
Draken: it's whatever
Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking
Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was
Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something
Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family
Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass
Mikey: 😒
Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?
Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her
Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀
Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho
Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it
Mikey: what about having kids?
Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready
Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him
Draken: love you too
Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time
Draken: i stopped doing that
Baji: why though, you were an actual unit
Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up
Draken: Emma said to
Mikey: fair
Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker
Mitsuya: 🖕
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Harvey Dent has the worst road rage you’ve ever seen.
Two-Face, too, but, they just display it in vastly different ways. But if you ask any Robin, they’re both equally amazing and annoying.
“To be fair, I did tell Bruce to invest in better infrastructure.”
“Jay-Jay, I’m gonna ask you politely to shut the fuck up,” Harvey says, and it’s very rude, given that he kidnapped Jason and all. 3/5 stars.
“OH LOOK AT THIS ASSHOLE— “
Jason sips his Bat Burger shake and just enjoys the view. “You’re the one telling a 12 year old to shut the fuck up. Can’t wait to tell B about that, by the way.”
“12 is practically an adult in Crime Alley, kid,” It’s a very discreet shift, but it’s the difference in accents that gives it away.
Bruce always says Harvey sounds like wine and Two Face like whiskey. “10 bucks and you keep the trap shut.”
“Okay!”
When someone honks at them, Two-Face loosens his tie and grabs the brass knuckles from the glove department.
“And Bat Burgers for dinner if you don’t tell Pops about what I’m about to do, okay?”
“Yep yep!”
“Good kid.”
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