#another guy was like nah I don’t think I agree with you on that bc this and this

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

Discussing history with my floor mate is interesting bc he’s half Iranian so he obviously has a personal interest in the Middle East but he also sorta seems to forget that I study history

#it’s not really that bad bc he knows more about newer history than I do #but I’ve still studied it at uni #so he doesn’t have to prepare so much slash defend his hate for America and stuff like that so much #I know America is shit #and that the Middle East used to be a center for culture and trade and was super cool #and stuff about Persia is very biased bc we only have Greek sources #I know all that and I think he gets a bit suprised every time bc he’s not used to ppl not being kinda or full blown racist #today we were more people in the discussion which was nice bc then there’s more view #another guy was like nah I don’t think I agree with you on that bc this and this #and he got kinda quiet and I don’t think he’s used to that bc he talks so much #it was not quite bad #me

[stolenslumber]

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (pjs)

Jay needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend, and you’re just the person for the job— seriously, you’re almost a professional at this point, regularly charming the families of your idiot twin’s friends who need your help getting their parents off their back. Of course, leave it up to Jay to blur the lines of your fake relationship so smoothly that you catch real feelings; falling in love has never been this easy.

PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader GENRE: acquaintances to partners in crime to fake dating to lovers i guess? lol, college au, vaguely greek life au, vaguely rich kid au, fluff fluff fluff, jake is the mc’s twin bc i thought it would be funny WARNINGS: swearing, kissing and suggestive content/sexual themes WORD COUNT: 14.4k A/N: ik the ages don't line up here shhhh just ignore that okay

NOW AVAILABLE: hang your head low in the glow (companion fic/follow-up)

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO NICE?” 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” You scoff, tossing the apple you were just about to eat at Jake’s head. Annoyingly, he catches it in mid-air, then makes a show out of polishing it with his shirt and taking a big bite out of it. “Hey, I was going to eat that, asshole.”

“Shouldn’t have thrown it at me, then.” 

You roll your eyes at your twin, then go to retrieve another apple from the fruit bowl. It’s surprisingly well-stocked, given that you’re in a frat’s kitchen. Honestly, it’s surprising that there even is a fruit bowl in a frat’s kitchen, but the president of this frat runs a tight ship.

Said president appears in the doorway just then, snatching the apple from your hands as well as the one from Jake’s hands. “Guys, seriously, you have to wash these before you eat them.”

You and Jake both whine simultaneously. “Chan!” 

“I already took a bite out of that, bro,” Jake complains.

“I’m starving; please have mercy,” you beg.

Chan whips his head around from where he’d begun washing the apples in the sink to fuss at you. “What? Why haven’t you eaten yet? It’s almost 9pm!”

“Which reminds me— why do you look so nice?” Jake repeats.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you sigh. 

“You can just say you were pretending to be his girlfriend; we all know what you mean,” Jake snorts.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you repeat, resisting the urge to throw another apple at Jake’s head. “It was at this ballroom downtown, and of course he had nothing to wear, so I had to take him shopping first, which made us late, and then his parents wouldn’t stop talking my ear off about how I need to convince him to give up the music major, so I couldn’t touch any of the food there. Not even the foie gras torchon,” you recall mournfully. “We just got back, like, five minutes ago.”

Chan hums sympathetically— he knows how much you love foie gras torchon. “You can probably ask for an endless supply in return for your appearance at today’s thing,” he suggests, only half-joking. It absolutely sounds like the kind of thing Mark Lee would agree to, what with his ridiculously large inheritance and hapless generosity (last month, Mark lost thousands of dollars in some animal shelter-related pyramid scheme, marketed to him by none other than Lee Haechan).

You wave a hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m keeping Mark’s favor for something else.”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “What else?”

“Whatever it turns out I need in the future, dumbass. What’s it to you, anyways?” 

“Just wanna make sure the poor guy doesn’t end up trapped in your snares forever, little sis. Yo, can I have that apple back?” Jake turns to Chan with characteristic puppy eyes.

“You’re only older than me by eight minutes,” you grumble, the age-old retort slipping out of you before you can help it.

“No, Jaeyun, you cannot. And don’t talk to your sister like that— oh my god, why do I sound like Taeyong,” Chan mutters, thinking about his predecessor frat-president-slash-mother-hen. 

“Jeez, government name and everything.” Jake holds his hands up, relinquishing his claim to the apple.

“In fact, your sister gets to have both of these apples, after I clean and cut them up, because she is a saint for continuing to save our asses from our parents like this,” Chan lectures, unceremoniously carving out the chunk of the apple with Jake’s bite marks and tossing it into the trash bin.

“Real ones get it!” You reach out and high-five Chan. 

“That is so unfair, c’mon, man!” Jake splutters. “She gets just as much out of these fake relationships— seriously, didn’t you drive her around everywhere for, like, a month after she went to that wedding with you?”

Both you and Chan shudder at the memory. “Ugh, my worst cousin and the worst guy he was ever with. They’re still married, by the way.” Chan shakes his head. “God knows why.”

“Love conquers all…?” Jake offers.

“What the hell are you talking about love for,” a new voice grumbles. Park Jongseong strolls in through the doorway, hands full with plastic bags promising wonderful things based on how your stomach reacts to the smell.

“Oh, hell yeah, chicken!” Jake cheers. “Took you long enough, bro.”

“Traffic was hell; something about a ball downtown, and— oh. Hey.” Jay stops abruptly at the sight of you, now munching on the apple slices Chan hands you, one by one.

You wave vaguely in his direction, too busy eating to respond. Jay is one of your brother’s friends who you don’t know that well, since you’ve never pretended to be his girlfriend. It’s strange that you two don’t know each other better, actually— as the social chairs of your sorority and his fraternity, respectively, you would usually have a lot to work on together. But this year has been particularly busy for you, what with your senior thesis and your various things with Jake’s frat brothers, and you had delegated most of your social chair responsibilities to your co-chair, Yunjin, who was far better suited to the social part of the job, anyways. You suspected Jay had done the same thing, since the two of you only ever texted to confirm budgets for any joint events.

“You need to have more than one-and-three-quarters of an apple for dinner,” Chan scolds you, parental instincts back in full force.

You shrug, about to turn around and rifle through the cabinets to see if you can find some peanut butter to add to your apple slices when a takeout container appears in front of you. Tired and still starving, you react rather slowly, your eyes tracing up the hand on the container to the veins of an arm belonging to none other than Jay.

“You look hungry,” is all he says, before popping the container open for you and rearranging the rest of the plastic bags on the counter. “Jake, tell the others to come down for food.”

The others means that soon, there will be an influx of hungry frat brothers in the kitchen, and you have no desire to be anywhere near that, so you mumble a quick thank you to Jay, plop the rest of the apple slices into the takeout container (against Chan’s complaints about the contamination), and move to leave the kitchen, eager to be on your way to your sorority house.

The last thing you overhear before you leave is Jay asking, “Why did your sister look so nice?”, and Jake and Chan responding in unison, “She had a thing.”

A few days later, when they’re doing work in the library, Jay asks Jake, “So how long have Mark and your sister been seeing each other?”

Jake’s pencil jerks across his graph paper, a jagged line appearing on the page at the same time that he swears. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Dude, what the fuck,” Jay echoes flatly. “Didn’t you say she had a thing with Mark?”

Jake blinks. “Well, sure, in the same way that she’s had a thing with Chan, and Yeonjun, and Vernon, and all the others.”

Jay gapes at him. “Your sister dated all of them? And all the others?”

“What, no, she didn’t date them, she fake-dated them! Just a couple of times, mainly showing up to things with their families so their parents would leave them alone about finding a partner and all that. You know how the parents are.” Jake gestures vaguely, referring to the oddities of the world of wealth they were born into. 

Jay nods slowly, understanding dawning upon him. Does he know how the parents are? Oh, does he ever. He has always had a good relationship with his own, but they had been more pushy on the whole love thing as of late, with the not-at-all subtle questions his mother asks about any special someones in his life and the unfunny jokes his dad cracks about how he’s still spry enough to help raise grandchildren. Especially unfunny, given the health scare his dad had given them all in the last year.

Jake’s voice brings him out of his veering-towards-morbid thoughts. “But seriously, bro, how is this news to you? My sister’s been doing this… Cinderella-genie thing for two years now.” 

Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Cinderella-genie thing?”

“Yeah, I mean, she transforms our frat brothers into respectable young men with a respectable relationship, but only for three occasions, and she gets the same number of favors back.” Jake wrinkles his nose. “It sounds weird when I say it like that, and don’t get me wrong, I love to give her shit for it, but it’s all above-board stuff. Sunghoon bought her bubble tea for like, three months. Oh, and no one’s allowed to catch feelings, so everything ends clean and neat.”

“She fake-dated Sunghoon?”

At the mention of his name, Sunghoon pops one side of his headphones off. “What’s up?”

“You fake-dated Jake’s sister!?”

Sunghoon shushes him before responding. “Yeah, don’t you remember? It was a couple of months ago.”

Jay’s ears flush, both at how loud he had unconsciously gotten, and at the reminder that he really has been out of it for a while now. It’s not like he’s been living under a rock, but he has definitely been spending a lot more time with his parents and away from his friends ever since his dad’s health scare.

“She was great, though,” Sunghoon continues. “My mom still thinks I made the biggest mistake of my life ‘letting her go.’ But she’s also been leaving me alone about ‘finding love’ because she thinks I’m heartbroken, so yeah, Jake’s sister works wonders.”

Jake smirks. “Sim genes, man. Elite stuff.” 

Sunghoon scoffs. “You wish. Didn’t I hear your mom yelling at you on the phone the other day for not having settled down yet?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Does she not realize what decade this is, I mean, we’re still in college—”

Jay interrupts what looks to be the beginning of a long rant from Jake, cutting him off with, “So where can I sign up?”

Jake stares blankly at him. “Sign up for what?” 

“The Cinderella-genie thing.”

Sunghoon scrunches his face awkwardly. “Uh, she kind of has a waitlist, buddy.”

Jay waits for him to laugh and say he’s just kidding, but he doesn’t. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, she doesn’t do the fake-dating thing for multiple people at the same time, and she’s pretty busy with all her shit, so I’m not sure how long of a queue you have ahead of you…”

“Okay, but Jake could get me ahead, right? Cut the line, or something? C’mon dude, I’m your best friend.” Jay is suddenly desperate, remembering the conversation he’d had with his mom on the phone last night, where she had dreamily recalled meeting his dad in college and delicately reminded Jay that he could have a plus-one to the Parks’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

Jake eyes his friend warily. “I dunno, she really doesn’t like stuff like that. Unfair advantages, I mean.”

“My parents aren’t getting any younger, Jake, and you know, with my dad last year and everything…” Jay does his best approximation of batting his eyelashes at Jake. 

“Are you guilt-tripping me?”

“A little?” Jay’s smile turns a little maniacal. “For real, my parents have their 50th wedding anniversary coming up, and it would be the perfect event to bring her to so I can reassure them that things are going well in my love life.”

“Are things going anywhere in your love life?” Sunghoon’s tone is skeptical, and reasonably so. 

Jay has been distant lately because of his family, but even before that, he had always been known as somewhat aloof and unattainable. Devastatingly handsome, yes, with killer grades and fierce ambition, and a business empire to inherit to boot, but he is also his parents’ one and only miracle child, born after years of trying and almost giving up. Jay’s parents are older than all of his friends’ parents, and their family business has always been that— a family business. Jay has two years after graduation to learn the ropes in the business, and then he’ll be due for an MBA, and then a return to helm the business, but this timeline has recently felt more urgent than ever with his parents’ flagging health. They would never say it, but he knows the only reason they haven’t retired yet is because they don’t want to hand over control of the business to anyone but him. Jay has worked his ass off in college, trying to get there as fast as he can, as well as he can. But his parents also want him to enjoy college and find true love, and while he’s been doing pretty well with the former, the latter has been on the backburner for, well, forever. Who has time for true love, in between classes, fraternity duties, the various shenanigans his friends get up to, internships, networking, TA-ing, volunteering, being on the executive board of two clubs, and eating, sleeping, dreaming, and thinking?

So. No. Things are not going anywhere in his love life, and he confirms just as much to Sunghoon with a grunt, to which Sunghoon wheezes out his amusement.

Jake eyes Jay with pity, now. “Alright, that guilt trip was successful, but more so because you just admitted to being bitchless for so long. I’ll put in a good word to my sister for you.”

Jay perks up instantly. There is light and beauty in this world after all! “Awesome, thank you bro, you won’t regret this, I promise!”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but those are famous last words, Park.” Jake raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you can handle my sister?”

“Why not? She seems… nice.” Jay is slightly evasive in his answer, and truthfully, it’s because he isn’t really sure what you’re like. All your interactions to date have been cordial, almost business-like, and you and Jake are fraternal twins, so it’s not even like he’s really familiar with what you look like. He is, however, sure that you look beautiful in a ballgown, even if he only saw you in one in his frat’s kitchen.

Jake chortles outright. “No, my sister is not nice. Yeah, I’m definitely going to convince her to help you, just because I think it’ll be hysterical watching her turn you inside out. Good luck, my brother in Christ, because you’ll need it!”

you: hey jake told me abt ur predicament

jay: … good morning, how are you? i’m pretty good myself

you: ???

jay: just being polite. and it’s not a predicament i’m just… interested in your services

you: good for you? anyways i’m super busy right now and don’t really have time to be taking on anything else so i’m just letting you know that i can’t help you out. good luck though

jay: how about coffee?

you: what?

jay: do you want coffee?

you: like right now?

jay: yeah i’m on your porch

You almost throw your phone to the other side of the room. True, Jay’s fraternity house is across the street from your sorority house, but it still feels absurd to think that he’s right there, less than twenty feet below your room. Is he stalking you?

Accordingly, that’s the first thing you ask him when you throw the door open to him. “Are you stalking me?”

He scoffs. “As if. I asked Jake to ask Yunjin for your location.” 

“That’s not not stalking.”

Jay shrugs, though he has the decency to look a little embarrassed as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Whatever. I just walked across the street; that’s all. So, coffee?”

You stare at him for a few moments, weighing your options. Truthfully, you were about to leave to get coffee before your first class, anyways, but you’re not sure how long you want to entertain Jay. You decide to split the difference. “I’m on my way to Nat’s, so you can tag along. But I’m just grabbing a coffee to go, and then I have class.”

“Okay, let’s go.” 

“Gimme a second; I’ll grab my stuff.” For some reason, your heart is beating a little faster than usual when you reach your room. You’d like to blame it on the stairs you just climbed, but something about Jay coming to find you at your front door feels old-fashioned and sweet, though your rational mind reminds you that he literally just walked a couple hundred feet. He even said so, himself.

But when you come back down to see him leaning against the doorway with his hands still in his pockets, looking out into the street, you suddenly remember that Jay is, like, really good-looking. Despite yourself, you find yourself admiring the cut of his jaw and how nice his hair is styled. It’s not like you don’t know plenty of attractive guys— hell, the guys you usually fake-date are all objectively hot. It’s just inconvenient that you now recall how Jay has always seemed to be the most mature out of Jake’s friends, even from what little you know of him. Unhelpfully, your brain also conjures up the image of him sliding a takeout container to you last week, and the way your eyes had lingered on the veins of his arm.

God. It’s been too long since you’ve gotten laid.

Jay’s voice breaks you out of your bizarre trance. “Ready, Cinderella?”

“Excuse me?”

“Jake told me about your whole Cinderella-genie thing. It would be weird to call you ‘genie’, so…” Jay trails off, scratching the back of his head and looking actually embarrassed now. 

You can’t help but laugh. “Right, because Cinderella is totally less weird. Alright, big guy, let’s go.”

The walk to Nat’s, your favorite local coffee shop, takes about 15 minutes— 10, if you’re walking fast, which you usually are. Jay’s legs are uselessly long, but he seems determined to walk as slowly as possible, while also staying silent the whole time. Finally, you reach the end of your patience and step out right in front of him, intending to ask him what the hell he’s doing. Unfortunately, you find that you misjudged the distance, and he almost collides right into you.

“Whoa,” he mutters, reaching out to grab your arms to steady the both of you. 

“Sorry,” you huff, embarrassed at yourself. A lot of that going around today. “I just… what’s your deal? I already told you I can’t help you, and then you show up at my door and ask me to get coffee, but you don’t say a single word. What do you want from me?”

Instead of answering your question, he asks, “Why do you do it?” 

“Do what?”

“The Cinderella-genie thing.”

You roll your eyes. “Jake has got to stop calling it that. It’s a long story, honestly.” Sighing, you reach into your backpack to pull out your planner. “Alright, we’re already past the amount of time I scheduled to get my coffee and get ahead on some readings before class, so I guess we can sit down inside.”

Jay raises an eyebrow. “You have time for me now? Also, that’s the most insane planner I’ve ever seen.”

You gesture around you. You had stopped Jay almost at the door of Nat’s, and you’re clogging up the sidewalk. “We should at least get out of the way of these people. And yeah, I’m sure it is.” You are a live-and-die-by-your-planner kind of person. Everything is in there— social events, studying time, your various things with Jay’s frat brothers, even things like eating and showering and sleeping. It seems psychotic, sure, but you’re a busy person, and there’s no way you’d be able to handle everything without the strict schedule you set for yourself.

When you walk up to the counter inside Nat’s, your favorite barista— a cute high school kid named Riki— is manning the register. You smile warmly at him. “Hey, Riki. The usual, please.”

You expect Riki to tease you about your usual, which contains an admittedly concerning amount of caffeine, but instead he calls out, “Jay! What’s up, my man!”

From behind you, Jay reaches out and fist-bumps Riki. “Hey, long time no see, buddy. How’s history going?”

Riki groans theatrically. “Horribly, ever since you stopped tutoring me.”

Jay frowns. “Wait, really? What are you having trouble with? I know I’m kind of swamped right now but we can always find some time and—”

Riki bursts out laughing. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Jeez, you should’ve seen your face. Relax, I got a 94 on my last paper!”

“Oh, very funny, you menace!” Jay punches Riki’s shoulder, but his expression eases up. You wonder at the fondness that twinkles in his eyes. 

Riki laughs some more, then he turns to you. “Noona, one cup of liquid death coming up! Hyung, what about you?”

“London fog, please. And seriously, text me if you’re having trouble, okay?”

Riki waves the both of you off, telling you that he’ll bring your drinks over to you. 

You make a beeline for your favorite spot, right by the large window that overlooks the sidewalk. Jay surprises you for the umpteenth time that morning by easily striding ahead and pulling your chair out for you, then coughing and turning red when you give him a weird look.

“Sorry, I, uh, yeah. Instinct,” he explains, which is really no explanation at all. 

“Are you courting me or something?” You try to keep your tone light and joking, but confusion inevitably slips in. Nothing Jay has done today has made sense. 

He seems to have regained his composure when he sits down, because he hits you with, “I guess you could say that. It’s just something I think I’d do for my girlfriend.”

You stare at him blankly. “Thanks for telling me…?”

“I mean, if you’re going to fake-date me, you can probably expect me to do stuff like that, right?”

You groan. “I’m not going to fake-date you, Jay, how many times do I have to say it? I—”

“— don’t have time, I know. But what if I could make it worth your while?”

“Jay, you know I’m Jake’s sister, right? We have money. Besides, I’m helping Mark right now, and I don’t do this for multiple people at the same time.”

“Oh yeah, Jake told me about that rule. What if I could take care of that for you?”

You raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll help Mark find a real girlfriend, and then you can help me, instead.”

“If it were that easy, don’t you think Mark would have done it himself?” 

Jay waves his hand dismissively. “Oh, please, Mark’s been crushing on the girl in his music class for ages. He gets too into his head about asking her out, so he chickens out every time. They’re partners on a project right now, though, so I’ll just give him a push in the right direction.”

You have to admit that you’re intrigued by his proposition. Everything Jay just said lines up with what you know about Mark, especially the chickening out part. You’d like to see Jay try, and you figure it can’t hurt either way, so you nod. “Okay, fine. If you can help Mark, I’ll help you. But seriously, what’s your deal? Why do you want my help so badly?”

Jay blinks, then he leans back into his chair. “Oh. Honestly, I haven’t 100% decided that I do, yet.”

“But you’re willing to agree to help Mark Lee with a girl in order to secure my help?” You shake your head. “You’re really strange, Park.”

“I get overly invested in challenges really easily,” Jay confesses, showing you an unexpectedly bashful smile. “So I got a little caught up just now in the idea that I could change your mind about helping me. But now that you’ve brought it up, I’ll still help Mark, no matter what. I’m sick of him writing lovesick songs about that girl, anyways.”

“Large iced Americano, no water, four shots of espresso. And a London Fog,” Riki announces. He sets the drinks down on your table right as the bell above the shop’s door chimes and lets in the pre-9am work crowd. He groans and bids you both a hasty goodbye.

Jay eyes your coffee with disgust. “Liquid death, huh? That’s disturbing.”

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” You tilt the cup in his direction, laughing when he shudders. 

“Absolutely not. I can’t believe you order that enough that Riki knows it’s your usual.”

“I usually see him in the afternoons when I order this, actually, so I’m sure he’s going to give me an earful about getting one in the mornings, too. Speaking of— doesn’t he have school?” You whip around in your seat to stare at Riki. 

“He has two free periods on Mondays this year, so I guess he picked up an extra shift. He’s a hard working kid,” Jay says. 

You turn back around to see him with that same fondness in his eyes. “How do you know him, by the way?”

“Ah, he’s my little’s friend from high school. My little is Jungwon— cat-looking dude?”

You let out a squeal. “Oh my gosh, he’s the cutest!” 

Jay crosses his arms and grins, looking amused. “Yeah, he is pretty cute. Anyways, Jungwon mentioned his friend was having trouble with his history class last year, so I started tutoring him a bit, just casually, since I’m studying history.”

“Not economics?” You’ve heard about Jay’s family’s notoriously tightly-controlled company. Everything is within the family, so you’re surprised that he isn’t getting ready to take over. 

“Both. I can have two majors, you know. What’s yours?”

“Linguistic anthropology. And studio art. I can have two majors, you know.” 

Jay rolls his eyes. “Okay, okay, I know that was pretentious. What’s linguistic anthropology?”

You clear your throat, not expecting to talk about your hopes and dreams so early in the morning, and with someone who’s only a few steps away from being a stranger. “Languages, and the social and cultural foundations of them. Basically. I want to do linguistic archaeology in grad school, and this is the closest thing you can get in undergrad.”

Jay leans forward and nods enthusiastically. “That sounds really cool. What kind of art are you doing?”

“Oil paints, mostly, and some charcoal drawing…”

Like that, an hour flies by. You don’t even notice the blocks in your calendar getting overwritten by what is essentially a coffee date with Jay until you get the reminder that you have class in thirty minutes. 

“Shit, I gotta go soon.” You say it with some regret; surprisingly, you’re really enjoying yourself with Jay. He’s smart, and funny, and a little awkward in a way that makes you think he’s the most sincere person you’ve ever met. And he has interesting thoughts and opinions on history, some of which you even make a mental note to follow up on later for your thesis. 

“Before you go, will you tell me why you do the fake-dating thing?” Jay puts his head in both his hands and smiles at you, and…

“Are you batting your eyelashes at me?”

Jay squints at you. “Maybe. Is it working?”

“Not really,” you lie, like a liar. 

“Didn’t work on Jake, either. Man, I gotta work on it.” Jay gives up the act and relaxes back into his chair. “Will you tell me, though?”

“Sure, it’s not like it’s a big secret or anything. It’s not even that long of a story, now that I think about it. Not something worth trying to seduce me over, but I like your hustle,” you joke. 

“So it was working!”

“I wouldn’t go that far. Okay, so it started with Chan. He just didn’t want to go to his horrible cousin’s horrible wedding, but his sister had been arguing with the cousin about Chan and was, like, defending his honor or something? And one thing spiraled into another and all of a sudden Chan needed to show up to the wedding with an impressive partner to prove to his cousin that he could pull.” You make a face. “Boys. I’d actually met this particular cousin before, through some convoluted situation at one of those holiday parties that our families throw, and I knew he was insufferable, so I was willing to help out. Other guys in the frat heard about it, and you know, it’s surprising but not shocking that your frat has a lot of guys with some sort of weird baggage that prevents them from actually seriously dating someone. It’s weirder that a significant number of them also find themselves in situations where they need to pretend to have a girlfriend, but as it turns out, I’m really good at it— being a fake girlfriend, I guess. I haven’t had much time to date myself, so it’s kind of nice hearing how much everyone’s families liked me as their potential daughter-in-law. Plus, I always get favors in return, so it’s not the worst thing in the world. It’s like the fun part of dating, without the actual time commitment.”

Jay looks skeptical. “Going to family events and schmoozing with distant relatives is the fun part of dating?”

You scoff. “Whatever. You’re the one who asked why I did it, and I told you. It doesn’t have to make sense to you.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m not judging, I swear. I just think that there’s probably better parts to dating, but who am I to talk,” he mutters.

“Ah, yes, Jake mentioned that, too. Bitchless all these years?”

Jay deadpans at you. “I know you aren’t making fun of me for that when you basically just told me that you fake-dated all these guys because you have a raging praise kink specifically for people’s families.”

“Oh, fuck off.” But you’re laughing, almost— giggling? Ugh. Maybe you do need to back off on the caffeine. “Alright, I have to go now, for real. Text me when Mark is good, and then we can talk about our two fake dates.”

“Isn’t three the max?”

“I was serious about not having time, Jay. I have a thesis for linguistics, and a portfolio to put together for art. Mark was going to be my last… thing this year. I went to one event with him, so if you can get things squared away with him, you can have his other two.”

“Okay, fine. Pleasure doing business with you.” Jay salutes you with two fingers.

“You haven’t even succeeded with Mark yet, and you haven’t heard what favors I want in return, either. Don’t get ahead of yourself, hotshot.” 

And then you’re gone, leaving Jay to ruminate on the last hour and a half you spent together.

Jake’s right— you’re not nice, not in the traditional sense of the word. You’re kind of prickly, and you seem to run your life like a drill sergeant, but Jay thinks you must be really kind. Aside from Chan, the others you’ve helped (Mark, Yeonjun, Vernon, Sunghoon, good lord) are all variants of pretty boys who can’t talk to women to save their lives but live and die by the words of their parents, who all hope to see them get married sooner rather than later (Jay elects to ignore how he fits into that mold pretty well, too). No wonder you felt bad for them in their plights and wanted to help them; and Jay really believes that you did it to help them, not because of whatever favors you got in return. Like you said, you have money, so it’s not like you couldn’t buy your own bubble tea or pay for a driver. No, he’s seen your calendar, and it’s crammed with volunteering events in between everything else, and he’s seen the way you fuss over Riki, someone you only see a couple times a week while ordering a coffee. He’s pretty sure you’re just a classic do-gooder, and he doesn’t even need your help that badly, but he does love a challenge. Get Mark Lee together with the girl of his dreams is the first one. The second one is to figure out why he cares about proving himself to you so much— it’s not like he’s swimming in free time either, but somehow you’ve gotten under his skin, and he wants to see where this goes.

(Plus, he thinks you’re really pretty.)

When you enter your studio art workshop class, you find Yunjin immediately and pout at her. “Thanks for revealing my location to Jay, traitor,” you whine.

Yunjin grins. “It’s not like the sorority house is a state secret, babe. And I have zero regrets— he’s hot!”

“So?”

“So, I’m sick of you fake-dating these guys because you love to be the most helpful person in the room, and I want to see you actually date someone!”

You snort. “Joke’s on you, then, because he also wants to fake-date me.”

“Eugh, really? What the hell, I thought he was a good one,” Yunjin groans.

“He is a good one,” you respond instantly. You’re not sure why you’re so defensive about him, but from everything you’ve witnessed today, you know that Park Jongseong is the definition of a good guy.

“Well, maybe this will finally be the one that goes from fake-dating to real dating!” Yunjing wiggles her eyebrows at you. “You already think he’s nice, and you didn’t say he isn’t hot, either.”

“I have a pulse, Yunjin, I can tell that he’s hot.”

Yunjin whistles between her teeth. “Wait ‘til I tell Jake to tell Jay that.”

“Do not— and since when are you and my brother so close, anyways?”

She flashes you a conspiratorial wink. “New boytoy.”

“Ew, seriously? Jake?”

“Hey, it’s not that deep. He gets around, too, doesn’t he? Friends with benefits, no strings attached, etcetera.”

“Famous last words, honey.” You start pulling out your art supplies, chewing on your lip as you consider whether to ask her what you’re dying to know. “... So, what do you know about Jay? And do not tell Jake about any of this, Yunjin, I swear.”

“We’re really not close like that, babe, and I’d never betray your trust for dick.” Yunjin puts her hand over her heart solemnly.

“I want you to know that I’m throwing up in my mouth.”

“Noted.” Yunjin sticks the pencil she was using in her hair, then leans back and hums thoughtfully. “Now, Jay… I know what everyone knows about him, I guess. Good guy, nice family, kind of detached, if I had to say so? Not in a bad way, though. I just mean that he seems to hang out with his friends and that’s pretty much it. He’s involved in a bunch of stuff on campus like you are, but I know he had to pull back recently because one of his parents had a health thing— oh no, I can tell you’re already Cinderella-ing.”

You huff. “Jake is so annoying for that. What do you mean, Cinderella-ing?”

“You feel bad for him and now you want to help him!”

“I already agreed to help him, if he helps Mark Lee get a girlfriend, first.”

“Wow, he must really need your help if he’s willing to do that.”

“Funny, he said he isn’t sure if he needs my help, yet.” You shrug. “He’s confusing.”

“Oooh, but you’re interested, aren’t you?” Yunjin peers closer at you. “Oh my god, you whore! You want him!” 

“Yunjin!” You shush her, cognizant of the other students around you. “I’m just curious, okay? I wanna know what I’m getting myself into.”

“Sure, sure. I believe you!” Yunjin insists, looking entirely unbelievable. “That’s not surprising about Jay, though. His family is, like, super family-oriented. Introducing them to a fake girlfriend seems like it wouldn’t go well, so it makes sense that he’s hesitant about it. You should ask him for more details when you guys fuck—”

You cut her off with a hand slapped over her mouth. “I’m going to murder you in your sleep.”

Yunjin laughs underneath your hand and flicks you off. “But seriously, the rumor is that he’s never dated anyone in college because his parents had the perfect college romance and want the same thing for him, and he’s always been too busy being the prodigal son and heir apparent for true love to just, like, fall into his lap. Despite the valiant efforts of many girls on campus,” she finishes dryly.

“That’s… a really detailed rumor.”

“Chaewon’s little is obsessed with him, so I’ve heard it a million times.” 

You both cringe. Chaewon is far too nice to say it, but her little is stuck in a phase of boy mania so all-consuming it borders on clinical.

“Enough about boys; how’s it going with the portfolio?” Yunjin nudges her chin towards your empty canvas.

You sigh. “Pretty good, except for the human portrait part. It’s really not my thing, but Professor Song was so adamant that I try to include at least two of them by the end of the year. I did one of Jake already, but he doesn’t know, so it’ll be hilarious to see him cry at the senior showcase.”

“Oh, he’s totally going to lose it,” Yunjin agrees. You stay silent on the curious display of knowledge she just exhibited on your brother’s behalf. “Who are you thinking for the other one?”

“Beats me. I’d use my parents, but that feels a little bit too on the nose, especially after the one of Jake. It’d be weird to ask our friends, right?”

“Not really, but your portfolio theme is family, isn’t it? Very sweet of you to think of us as family, but then you’re talking about an entire group of people.”

Instantly, you shudder. “That’s way more than two humans. Love you guys, but no thanks. I’ll figure something else out.”

Yujin smirks at you. “If you and Jay date and fall in love and get married, you’ll be family, and then you could do one of him.”

“That is so not the solution!”

You don’t hear from Jay until a week later, at which point you figure he has given up, so you’re shocked to find him at your door again. 

“Morning, Cinderella,” is all he says to you before handing you a cup.

“Good morning,” you return, too dumbfounded to say anything else. “What’s this?”

“Coffee. Large iced Americano, no water, four shots of espresso,” he recites. “I got Riki to text it to me,” he admits quickly.

“I appreciate it, but what’s this for?” You narrow your eyes at him. “You can’t possibly think that one of the favors I’ll ask from you is coffee, right? I’m not that easy, Park.”

Jay looks offended. “Hey, you let Sunghoon buy you bubble tea!”

“Yeah, but he was really pathetic about the whole fake-dating thing.”

“... Fine, I’ll give that to you. That does sound like him. But no, this is because I wanted to ask you something, and I figured I’d take up the time that you usually schedule for getting your coffee.”

“Ooookay. So, what’s up?” You start on the walk to the library, and he’s quick to fall into step beside you.

“I’ve been thinking about how to help Mark with his crush, and I have the perfect idea, but I need your help.”

“You need my help to help Mark so that you can get my help for yourself?” It sounds absurd coming out of your month, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, “Wow, try saying that ten times fast.”

A surprised laugh erupts from Jay’s chest. “That was corny as hell,” he says, but he’s still laughing, high pitched and delighted. Laughter transforms his whole face, his eyes slipping into crescents and his nose scrunching with the force of his happiness, and you’re left dazed looking at him like that.

“Don’t tell anyone you witnessed that. I know where you live,” you threaten him half-heartedly. It really doesn’t carry much weight when you’re beaming in response to the mirth in his expression.

He stops laughing to grin at you, still bright and lovely. “Yeah, right. Who’s been coming to whose front door?”

“You don’t think I could walk across the street? I’m there all the time, Jay. So many people in that house owe me; it’d be a piece of cake to get your room number.” You say this with a stupid smile still on your face.

“Right, consider me properly frightened.” The wattage of his grin finally turns down a couple of notches, giving you room to breathe properly. “So, about Mark,” he starts.

“Yeah, this just sounds like more work for me,” you respond skeptically.

“Hear me out, okay? Mark has all these love songs written about this girl, and I found out that she always eats lunch at the same table at the same time in the dining hall on Tuesdays, so I figured he could play one of his songs over the dining hall speakers and then confess to her.” Jay makes little jazz hands at the end of his sentence, and it prompts a giggle out of you.

You have to fight your smile down when you speak. “A couple of things. One: that is so incredibly over the top for a confession, but sure, I like your spirit. Two: there’s no way Mark is slick enough to pull this off. Which leads me to three: what do you need from me?”

Jay nods. “Exactly, Mark could never do this on his own, which is why I’ve enlisted a bunch of guys from the frat, and you, of course.”

“Me, of course?”

“Sunoo and Jake are going to sweet-talk the lady at the dining hall who has the keys to the staff office with the dining hall audio hookup and microphone— she loves Sunoo, and Jake will flash her the ol’ puppy dog eyes to keep her sufficiently distracted. Heeseung will walk past and swipe her keys, and Jungwon is going to make sure that Mark’s crush is actually in the dining hall at the right time. Chan is going to apologize on everyone’s behalf if this goes wrong.”

You tut. “Poor Chan.”

“It’s his presidential duty, god bless.”

“And where do I fit into this?”

“You and I need to hold Mark’s hand, figuratively, and keep him hyped up enough to actually go through with it. He agreed to the plan, but I can totally see him chickening out again, which is why Sunghoon and Yeonjun are also going to stand guard outside the staff office so he can’t escape.”

“I feel like you could hold Mark’s hand on your own,” you argue, but you don’t really mean it. This sounds so chaotic and harebrained that you would normally want to stay a mile away from it, but Jay’s enthusiasm and seriousness about it is rubbing off on you. Plus, it would be nice to see one of your fake boyfriends actually succeed in their love life.

“He has two hands, and I can’t hold them all by myself because I have to operate the audio hookup,” Jay proclaims solemnly. “And I said figuratively! He trusts you, clearly, or at least he trusted you enough to be his fake girlfriend.”

“I come highly recommended,” you intone dryly. 

“And he trusts me enough to go along with the plan, so I think we’re the best suited to be his moral support,” Jay continues, ignoring your smartass comment. 

“This is a ridiculous plan, Jay.”

“So you’re in? Oh, wait. Are you free at 12:30 today?”

You stop to check your planner and confirm that you are. “What would you have done if I wasn’t?”

“Reconfigure the time-space continuum so you could be in two places at once. Mark’s future happiness depends on this,” Jay insists.

"I see what you mean about getting overly invested in challenges really easily… Alright, text me where I should meet you later, then?”

“You got it. Have a good day, Cinderella!” He yells this part as he jogs away from you. 

“Stop calling me that!” But you can’t remember the last time you smiled this much this early in the morning.

Hours later, you smile instinctively upon seeing Jay’s name pop up in your notifications.

jay: coast is clear. meet me outside the dining hall staff office in 5 minutes. operation is a go

you: omw, 007

jay: stop ur making me blush

you: fr?

jay: no this is just banter

you: omfg mark just texted me to say that ur actually blushing

jay: im going to end him. after he gets a gf, ofc

“Hey,” you whisper in Jay’s ear, making him jump. 

“Holy shit, how’d you get here so fast?”

You shrug, jostling his shoulder as you’re pressed up against him in the tiny recessed alcove across from the staff office. “I’m a fast walker. Places to be, people to see, you know? Speaking of…” You motion to the open office door. “Should we go inside?”

Jay clears his throat. Up this close, he can count the eyelashes that flutter against your skin. “Yeah, Mark’s already there. I’m surprised he found the composure to pop his head out and see me, or text you, honestly. He’s been a nervous wreck since this morning. Oh, finally, way to be on time, losers!” Jay beckons Sunghoon and Yeonjun closer from down the hall.

“We’re fine; Jungwon says Mark’s crush hasn’t even sat down at her table, yet. Hey, how are you? Long time no see.” Yeonjun flashes you a smile.

“Committing questionable acts in the name of love, you know, just living the dream,” you joke. “How’s your mom?”

“Great! She still asks about you. By the way, if I had known being a little more pathetic would get me this level of commitment,” Yeonjun gestures around him, “I would’ve asked for a real girlfriend, too.”

“I’m told I was pretty pathetic, and even I didn’t get this kind of treatment,” Sunghoon reminds you.

You pat his arm consolingly. “Maybe if you had Jay on your side, buddy.”

“Yeah, what the hell, best friend?” Sunghoon eyes him accusingly.

Jay pats his other arm. “Sorry, I have ulterior motives with Mark.”

“Oh, so now Mark gets a girlfriend and a secret male lover?”

Jay scoffs. “Not those kinds of ulterior motives, but please. As if Mark could bag me.”

“Ladies, ladies, there’s plenty of Jay to go around,” you say placatingly. 

“Guys, I’m freaking out in here!” Mark wails from inside the office.

“Fuck, Jungwon said she’s sitting down now. Go!” Yeonjun pushes you and Jay towards the office.

In quick order, Jay gets the audio hooked up to Mark’s laptop, and he starts the song. While Mark hyperventilates between the two of you and you actually do share in the holding of his hands, Jay finds himself staring at you as you try to encourage Mark. You really are quite kind— he doesn’t think many people would have agreed to be dragged into this silly scheme, but here you are, throwing yourself into it wholeheartedly because there’s a chance it might secure Mark’s future happiness. 

The sun reaches its highest point in the sky just then, streaming in through the windows behind you and drenching you in golden light. Jay’s not sure if he’s nervous about getting in trouble for this or if he’s just been looking at you for too long, but he can feel his heart stuttering in his chest. It’s positively outrageous how pretty you are.

“Bro, what the fuck do I say?” Mark hisses, interrupting Jay’s very important investigation of the color of your eyes. “The song is almost over, please, you gotta help me!”

“Just tell her how you feel,” Jay offers. It’s not his best attempt at advice, but he’s distracted by the way your hair brushes against your neck. 

Mark splutters and fumbles and curses under his breath, but then the song is over, and Jay is turning on the microphone for him to speak. “Um, hey, so, yeah! Yeah. Uh, I’ve liked you for a long time… which you can probably tell, because of the song and everything.” Mark giggles nervously. “There’s, like, at least five more where that came from. Because I like you a lot, but I’m not great at talking in person, so I wrote all these songs, and oh god, this is super weird, isn’t it? I’m sorry if it’s weird, I just, well, I wanted to tell you. What I feel for you is so big I think I might explode; it makes me lose my mind and my breath and my ability to speak, and it leads me to do stupid stuff like this. And now you know. Okay, cool!” Mark reaches over and slams his hand to turn off the microphone. 

You and Jay share an exasperated look over Mark’s head.

“Mark, you didn’t even say who the song is for,” you remind him. 

He pales. “I didn’t?”

“Or who it’s from, but I think that part is pretty obvious,” Jay sighs. “Just text her right now, and tell her it was from you, and ask her out!”

“What? No, I can’t do that, I think I’m gonna be sick,” Mark moans.

You roll your eyes. “Mark, do it right now, or I’m telling your mom you cheated on me.”

“What? But I didn’t! And we weren’t even dating for real! And I just told her we broke up!”

“Right, I’ll say we broke up because you cheated on me.” You stare him down. “Seriously, I’ll call her tonight.”

“Nonono, I’ll text Mina, okay? See, I’m texting her right now.” Mark pulls out his phone and types frantically. 

Jay throws his arm around Mark’s shoulder, using the leverage to hit the send button on his phone. “See, that wasn’t so hard!”

“I need to go walk into traffic,” Mark declares. 

You smile breezily at him. “Sure, whatever. Love conquers all!” Behind his back, you and Jay high-five.

Jay says you should have dinner to celebrate Mark and Mina’s new romance (ignoring Mark’s pained “What romance? I’m dying.”), but you tell him that you’re volunteering at the community kitchen that night. Jay doesn’t miss a beat. “Sure, I’ll be there. We should talk about my thing, anyways.”

That’s how he finds himself in a hairnet and disposable gloves that night, making funny faces at the head of the community kitchen’s daughter, who’s running around underfoot. He’s been put in charge of chopping vegetables, while you’re stirring a huge pot of stew at one of the stoves.

“Watch your fingers,” you scold him half-heartedly. He’s devastatingly cute like this.

He has the audacity to wink at you. “I know my way around a kitchen, don’t worry.”

“Very cool, trophy husband.”

“What, no more 007?”

“Depends on the outcome of Mark’s text to Mina. Did you hear anything from him?”

Jay scoops up his vegetables into a large bowl and brings it over to you, nudging you aside with his hip so he can add the vegetables to your pot. “Not yet, but I don’t have him freaking out in my messages either, so I’ll take that as a win.”

You let him take over the stirring and turn around to lean against the countertop. “Cute hairnet,” you quip.

“Thanks. You think they’ll let me take it home?” he jokes. 

You nudge your chin in the direction of the little girl giggling at Jay. “I think she wants to take you home.”

He winks at her, then lowers his voice so that only you can hear him say, “She’ll have to get in line.”

You swallow and wonder if the stove is turned on too high. “Right, so what’s your thing about?”

“Later, yeah?” Jay gestures around you, and you suddenly remember that you’re in the middle of a busy kitchen, with everyone hustling to get ready for the dinner service starting in half an hour. 

You spring into action again, embarrassed at how easily you’d been absorbed into conversation with Jay. Something about the way he talks to you makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world— he’s always so attentive, nodding and responding to your every comment. You have to wonder why he hasn’t dated anyone seriously in college; he seems like he’d be the dream boyfriend. Hypothetically.

He only proves this point further when he reveals two containers of mac and cheese that he had picked up before getting there, which he microwaves for the two of you to eat after the dinner service is over. You turn on the lights in one corner of the cafeteria and sit at the only table that’s still left out: a children’s table where you have to balance precariously on seats that are too small for you. But it’s entirely worth it, knocking knees and elbows together, laughing too hard for what the situation warrants.

“I would’ve made you something myself, but I didn’t want to use up the kitchen’s ingredients,” Jay comments off-handedly.

Your heart glows in your chest. “That’s really thoughtful, Jay.”

He smiles and scratches the back of his head, suddenly shy. “Nah, it’s common sense, right? Come on, eat before it gets cold.”

Right then and there, Jay learns that he loves to watch you eat. You make exaggerated faces and ooh and ahh over something as simple as mac and cheese from the 24-hour diner down the street, and he finds himself itching to make something with his own two hands that will make you react like that. 

When you’re done eating, you sit back and sigh in satisfaction. “That was exactly what I needed. Now, tell me about your thing— what kind of mess have I gotten myself into?”

Jay hems and haws for a good minute before finally telling you about his parents’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary. “It’s a little complicated because they had this, like, fairytale relationship, and of course I’m happy that they’re still so in love all these years later, but it’s kind of… a lot to live up to. Not that I’m complaining, because they’re awesome, but I don’t have that kind of relationship with anyone yet, so I haven’t brought anyone home to them.”

“So the rumors are true,” you mutter under your breath.

Unfortunately, Jay seems to have heard you. “What rumors?”

Flushing, you explain what you’d heard from Yunjin, who had heard it from Chaewon’s little. You’re quick to add, “I wasn’t asking around about you or anything!” 

Jay just smirks at you, something wicked and slow that only contributes to the heat in your cheeks. “I didn’t say anything.”

You hesitate before speaking up again. “So, if you don’t mind me asking… How come you haven’t dated anyone long-term in college? You’re, you know, perfectly okay to look at.”

Jay deadpans at you. “Wow, thanks, that really means a lot to me.”

You let out a huff of a laugh. “Shut up, it’s not a secret that you’re hot.”

Jay’s eyebrows shoot up, and you swear to god, he blushes to high heaven. “Th-Thanks.”

“Mm.”

It’s silent for a few long moments, then Jay clears his throat. “If I’m being honest, I haven’t dated anyone long-term in college because my parent’s relationship is a lot to live up to, and it’s not like I have a ton of time to find my perfect life partner in between everything else.”

“Ugh, tell me about it. Yunjin tells me I should try actually dating again, but it’s kind of a lot, right? Putting in the time and effort to get to know someone from scratch, when you’re not even sure how it’s going to pan out? And you’ve seen my calendar.” You laugh quietly. “And, honestly, I have this problem with dating where I get bored pretty easily.”

Jay leans forward, pushing into your personal space close enough to count your eyelashes, again. “Are you bored right now?” 

“No,” you answer, although you’re not sure why he’s asking. “Um, so, why do you need a fake girlfriend, then? I don’t think it’ll pass muster with your parents, if they want you to be in love for real.”

Jay fidgets with his fingers on top of the table. “Yeah, it’s kind of stupid, to be honest. My dad was hospitalized for a month last year, and it really shook us all. My parents are on the older side, and I’m their only child, and, well, I’d like to make them happy while they’re still around. Sorry, that was morbid. And I know it’s not like we’d be doing this forever, and it’s wrong to fake it, but still. They’d be overjoyed to see me in a relationship. I want to give that to them, even if it’s only twice.” He tells it to you like it’s a secret, and your chest caves in with the force of his sincerity.

“I don’t think that’s stupid. It’s sweet, Jay, really.” You reach out and still his fingers. “Listen, you know I’m really good at being a fake girlfriend, right?”

“You come highly recommended,” he mimics you from earlier, mouth quirking up in the beginnings of a smile. It lifts the atmosphere slightly, and you’re glad for it.

“Right, so don’t worry. Leave it to me. Your parents won’t suspect a thing,” you promise. “When’s the anniversary celebration?”

“Six weeks.”

You pull out your planner to start scheduling. “Great, so you can send me information about yourself, and I’ll do the same for you, and then we can find time to meet up and quiz each other about it and get our answers on our relationship straight—”

Jay’s hand lands around your wrist, stopping you from writing further. “Not that I don’t appreciate your… efficiency, but I don’t think that’s going to work. Like you said, my parents want to see a true relationship, and I don’t think flashcards are going to cut it. How about we just… get to know each other?”

You blink. “What, like daily one-on-ones, or something? Office hours, but just for each other?”

He bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, you’re serious, aren’t you?” He lets go of your wrist to hide his face behind his hands as he continues to laugh, which makes you smile despite yourself. He’s so goddamn cute.

You decide to humor him. “What do you suggest, then?”

“As much as I would love to monopolize your time, I don’t actually want to take up any of the precious few free spots on your calendar. You need to set aside more time for yourself, by the way. But for now, how about you give me the thirty minutes you schedule for getting to Nat’s and then back to campus every day? We can get to know each other then.”

“You want to walk me to the coffee shop and back?”

“Among other things.”

“… Such as?”

“Just you wait, Cinderella. I’m going to sweep you off your feet so hard, you won’t know what hit you. I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

In the dim light of the after-hours cafeteria, with his long legs stretched out on either side of yours and the soft crescents of his smiling eyes twinkling at you, you’re inclined to believe him.

Jay keeps his word. He shows up on the sorority house’s porch every morning, backpack slung over his shoulder and hands in his pockets at 7:45am. He doesn’t even have class until 11am (you know because you asked Yunjin to ask Jake), so his dedication impresses you. Sometimes, you’ll watch him approach the house from your window, bopping his head along to whatever he’s listening to in his earbuds. 

When you open the door to greet him, he always smiles sleepily at you and reaches out to grab whatever’s in your hands (usually art supplies or heavy reference books for your thesis). It’s a small gesture, but it shoots through your cotton-candy-soft heart as true and straight as an arrow.

Most mornings, the two of you will chat about anything and everything, swinging from homework to Greek life drama to pet peeves to Mesopotamian history. Occasionally, you’re both tired from your busy schedules and just end up sharing his earbuds, listening to something slow and soothing. More and more often, you find yourself stuffing supplies and books into your backpack until it’s grossly misshapen, just so Jay can have his hands free to brush against yours on the walk to Nat’s.

It’s not just the coffee shop, either. Suddenly, he’s everywhere in your life, as if someone had penciled in his name as one long continuous block in your calendar. He comes to the library with you, and you work on your assignments in companionable silence. He’s now a regular volunteer at the community kitchen, and he’s helping them design a new menu for the colder days coming soon. He even shows up outside the studio art workshop, bringing you takeout when you’ve forgotten to eat. At parties, the two of you dominate beer pong, with him bouncing balls off of his bicep into the cups just to make you fake your fawning adoration at him. He doesn’t have to know that it comes easily to you, especially when he’s constantly looking at you the way you know you look at beautiful works of art.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were actually courting me,” you comment thoughtlessly one day. You’re perched on the kitchen counter at the frat, watching Jay make ramen for the two of you. It’s almost three in the morning, and neither of you should be awake, but there’s something special about the quiet privacy afforded by the strange hour.

Jay forces himself to keep stirring the pot like usual. If he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t know any better, either, but he doesn’t want to look too closely into that at the moment. Instead, he opts to flirt. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he murmurs.

“Yeah, that’s why I said it, smartass.” But you let him off the hook, now preoccupied with reaching over to re-tie his apron.

“Ooh, ramen!” Jungwon’s face lights up as he walks into the kitchen, led by his nose. He looks like he just woke up, rubbing at his eyes with the ends of his sweatshirt sleeves. You have to stop yourself from cooing at him.

“What are you doing up so late?” Jay scolds him gently.

“Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Mom. I just woke up; I had a weird dream.” Jungwon nods at you both and takes a seat at the kitchen island.

You gape at him. “What?”

Jungwon blinks a couple of times, looking more alert by the second. “Oops. Did I say that out loud? Sorry, Niki’s been rubbing off on me.”

“Niki calls us Mom and Dad?” You’re not sure if that’s sweet or weird.

“As a joke! In a jocular manner. Jovially.” Jungwon throws up a peace sign, as if that helps.

“I’m glad to see the English degree is paying off,” Jay remarks dryly. He looks like he took the Mom-and-Dad thing much more in stride, except for the tips of his ears, which burn red. It’s a dead giveaway that makes you smile fondly, because it’s so him.

“Will you make some more ramen?” Jungwon bats his eyelashes at the two of you.

“See, it works much better when Jungwon does it,” you tease Jay.

“Can’t argue with you there, honestly.” Jay puts another pot of water on the stove to boil. “You should have more than just sodium and carbs, though,” he tells Jungwon.

You nod, hopping off of the counter to rummage through the fridge. “Yeah, you don’t eat enough vegetables. Maybe that’s why you’re having weird dreams. Aha!” You emerge triumphantly with a salad kit.

Jungwon laughs. “And you wonder why Niki calls you Mom and Dad.”

Jay scoffs. “That’s just because he hasn’t met Chan.”

“Fair enough. What are you guys doing here so late, anyways?”

You pause in assembling the salad to point a salad tong at Jay. “This guy just follows me everywhere.”

“We’re in my frat house,” Jay retorts. 

“I could be here for someone else,” you argue. 

Jay’s gaze pins you down, warm and earnest. “You’re not, though.”

You smile at him. “No, I’m not.”

Jungwon coughs. “Get a room.”

You reach over to ruffle his hair. “You’re standing in it.”

The three of you eat your ramen and salad in silence for a bit, all falling victim to varying degrees of sleepiness. Without noticing it, you’re scooched up next to Jay, shoulders and knees and ankles pressed together in one long line of comfortable intimacy.

Jay thinks about Jungwon’s question as he slurps at the noodles. What are you guys doing here so late? The answer almost eludes him. These days, he finds himself drawn to you like a magnet, pulled in by forces far stronger than himself. 

He remembers that the two of you had been doing work in his room after the main library had closed, and you had fallen asleep on his bed at some point, a sketchbook dangling from your fingers. He had spent a ridiculous amount of time admiring your sleeping form, indulging in his favorite pastime of counting your eyelashes and resisting the urge to lay beside you. Eventually, your stomach had woken you up, and he insisted on making you some food, even if it wasn’t as nice as he would have liked to do for you. Now, looking at you chatting and joking with Jungwon, Jay feels his heart expanding into his lungs. You fit into his life so perfectly, and he’d like to think that he fits into yours, too. It’s almost too good to be true— could this be what his parents started with? 

When you’re done eating, Jungwon waves the two of you away, insisting that he should do the dishes since you cooked. You’re not about to argue with that, so you pat him on the shoulder before following Jay back up to his room. 

“He’s a good kid,” you tell Jay as you hop on his bed again, grabbing your sketchbook to pick up where you left off.

“He is.” Jay tuts at you. “And you should go to sleep.”

“I will, I will, just let me finish this sketch, okay? Besides, I don’t see you turning your laptop off, either.” You jut your chin out stubbornly.

Jay glances at the Wikipedia rabbit hole he’d been going down before your stomach had growled loudly an hour ago. He’s done with his work for the day, and he had just been keeping you company for the last two hours. “I have super important, time-sensitive work to finish,” he lies solemnly.

“Jay, I can see that you have the Wikipedia page for sinkholes open.”

He slams his laptop shut. “Actually, I’m done,” he declares, flopping down on the bed beside you. He turns his cheek from where he’s level with your stomach to look up at your hands moving across the page. “What are you working on in there?”

You make a displeased face. “People. I have to do one more human portrait for my portfolio, and it’s driving me nuts. Here, this one is of you.”

Jay lifts his head, astonished to see himself reflected back on the page. In smooth, sure strokes, you’ve captured him in tender detail: strong jaw, sharp eyes, and mouth twisted in concentration, probably from earlier when he’d actually been doing work. Jay’s jaw works as he struggles to figure out what to say. He’s unbelievably touched that you would draw him. “Can I keep this?” he asks finally.

“It’s not even done yet. And it’s not that good,” you warn him.

“It is to me. C’mon, please?”

“Maybe when I finish…” You trail off, swayed by the senseless patterns he’s tracing on top of your knee. “Which I won’t, if you keep distracting me.”

He smirks and stills his hand, looking like he’s about to tease you before he interrupts himself with a yawn. “Alright, goodnight, Cinderella.”

“'Night, 007.”

When he wakes up the next morning, he finds the lingering scent of your shampoo and a complete sketch of himself, now decked out in a tux worthy of James Bond. It makes him laugh out loud, and he knows he’s in trouble when he slides out a picture of him with his cousins from a picture frame to put your sketch in the frame, instead.

Before you know it, the day of the Parks’ wedding anniversary celebration has arrived. You’re on a four-way FaceTime call, with Chaewon lounging on your bed as you try on various dresses.

Kazuha is more invested in asking you about your relationship than helping you decide what to wear. “I’m just saying, I think it’s interesting that you and Jay have been, like, glued together for well over a month.”

“We’re getting to know each other better, so we don’t mess up in front of his parents,” you explain for the millionth time.

Kazuha wiggles her eyebrows at you. “Suuuure. Why didn’t you just send him one of those scarily detailed questionnaires like you did with all the other guys you fake-dated?”

Chaewon motions for you to spin in the billowy dress you’re currently in. “Too beachy,” she decides. “But ditto to what Kazuha said.”

“It’s because she like-likes him,” Sakura sing-songs.

You stick your tongue out at her. “Grow up, will you?” 

“Forget about that— have you guys hooked up yet?” Yunjin demands.

“Yet? No, Yunjin, what the fuck,” you complain.

“Gross,” a familiar voice groans from Yunjin’s corner of the FaceTime. You, Kazuha, Sakura, and Chaewon all zero in on her square.

“Jake?” You exclaim.

Yunjin giggles and moves the camera to show Jake sitting at his desk in his room, wearing his nerdy glasses and hunched over a textbook.

“Did you guys just hook up?” Kazuha blurts out. 

“Gross,” you repeat.

Yunjin rolls her eyes. “Grow up, will you? And no, I’m just here because it was too loud at the house.”

The rest of you fall silent on the call, especially you and Chaewon, demonstrating how decidedly not loud it is in the sorority house.

Yunjin blushes and clears her throat. “Whatever. Hey, you should totally wear that sparkly navy velvet number! The one that cinches at your waist.”

You rummage around in your closet and pull out the dress in question to try it on. “This one?”

Sakura whistles. “Oh, for sure. Good eye, Jen.”

Yunjin blows her a kiss. “Of course, of course.” She points at you. “That’s the one, babe. You have, like, the sluttiest waist ever, second only to Sunghoon; you have to wear that.”

Sounds of agreement abound, except from Jake, who whines, “You guys don’t think I have a slutty waist?”

“You’re a whore in other ways, don’t worry,” you reassure him dryly. You do another spin for Chaewon. “This isn’t too much, though?”

Jake suddenly pops into view of the camera. “It’s a formal event, and Jay is going to lose his mind no matter what you wear, trust me.”

“That’s not the point,” you insist.

The girls respond in unison, “Yes, it is!” 

And you have to admit, the way Jay’s mouth stays open as he gives you the once-over a few hours later is gratifying, to say the least. For good measure, he does it again, letting his eyes linger at the dip between your collarbones and the curve of your mouth.

Molten heat spreads through you in response to his wandering eyes, ratcheting up in intensity when he smirks at you, purposeful and knowing.

You elect to check him out, too, knowing that you’re not the only person who can get flustered here. He cuts an unbelievable figure against the setting sun, leaning against his sleek black car, hands in his pockets and legs crossed at the ankles. The tuxedo he wears fits criminally well, emphasizing his broad shoulders and long legs, and you can’t stop yourself from wondering what he’d look like taking his tie off. On second thought, this may have backfired; you only find yourself feeling warmer the longer you stare at him.

Thankfully, he starts moving, coming up to the porch to hand you a bouquet of baby’s breath.

“Oh, good idea— should I hand these to your mom or your dad?” You ask, taking the flowers from him.

He laughs, surprised. You are too cute for his own good. “The flowers are for you, Cinderella. My parents and I are allergic to pollen, actually.”

“Oh.” You hold the flowers closer to your chest, giddiness touching you from head to toe. He got you flowers, even though he’s allergic. “Thank you, Jay.”

He hums and reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “Happy to do it. I saw the flowers in your room dying the other day. Go put them inside; I’ll wait out here. I can feel Chaewon’s stare drilling into the top of my head, anyways.” He looks up and waves at Chaewon, who’s hanging out of your window shamelessly.

She shouts, “Have her home by midnight, or she’ll turn into a pumpkin!”

“I don’t think that’s how it goes, but okay!” He throws her a thumbs-up.

Inside the house, you’re seized with the urge to splash some water on your face, just to calm yourself down, but that would ruin your makeup. Instead, you place the flowers in a vase of water and trust that Chaewon will bring them up to your room for you, after she’s done heckling Jay.

“Leave my guy alone,” you yell in her direction, pulling at his arm to get him down the stairs and to his car. 

“Your guy, huh?” Jay looks at you with uncontrollable fondness.

“Just for the night,” you say, but you don’t miss the way his smile widens at the way you don’t deny it.

Ever the gentleman, Jay opens the passenger door for you, helping you gather the ends of your dress and tucking them in under your legs. He remains crouched for a moment, looking like he’s debating with himself about something, and then he goes for it, leaning over and buckling you in.

When you raise an eyebrow at him, all he says is, “Precious cargo,” and then he’s shutting the door, leaving you flushing once more.

The car ride to his parent’s place is easy and comfortable, even with the charged atmosphere that lingers between the two of you. Conversation always flows like water with Jay; you’re debating the finer points of how to determine provenance for historical artifacts when you arrive. Guests are littered across the front lawn, conversing with each other but centered around his parents.

Suddenly, you’re nervous. “Do you think they’ll like me?” You ask Jay.

He looks at you like you’ve grown another head. “Are you serious? Of course they will. You’re you.”

You swat at his shoulder even as you smile widely. “Your unconditional faith in me notwithstanding, I’m serious, Jay. I want to be able to live up to this fairytale romance thing.”

He takes your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “Believe me, you’re a dream come true. Let’s go, Cinderella.”

You gulp and curse your thundering heart, but then you’re five feet away from his parents, and you’re exclaiming at how in love they look, all these years later. Jay’s dad is distinguished in salt-and-pepper hair, and his mom is all smiles when she tells you that you’re too pretty for Jay.

“Mom,” he whines.

“Oh alright, come here, my beautiful boy.” She brings him in for a hug and beams when he kisses her cheek. Your heart melts like ice cream in the summer; he’s a mama’s boy, through and through.

Jay’s dad asks, “So, how did you meet?” 

You open your mouth, prepared with your story. “I’m Jay’s friend’s twin sister, and then we kind of got caught in a scheme to help one of our other friends ask out the girl he liked, and we just got closer after that. Jay’s easy to like.” So far, it’s all true.

Jay doesn’t look like he’s faking anything when he continues, though. “She’s easy to love.”

“Way to one-up me,” you joke, but you feel like you’re floating, cradled by the buoyancy of the affection in his eyes.

“Seriously, she’s so smart it makes my head spin, and her heart shines brighter than the sun. She makes me laugh and work harder to keep up, and I’m lucky to just stand by her side. Being with her is the most natural thing in the world, like breathing, or my heart beating.” Jay doesn’t take his eyes off of you the whole time he’s speaking; he wants to commit every change in your expression to memory, from surprise to fondness to something deeper.

Jay’s dad hums approvingly. “Good work, son. You sound like I did when I met your mom.” He brings his wife in to kiss her temple.

“Enjoy the party, lovebirds,” she coos at you, and then they’re gone, off to greet other arrivals.

You’re frozen in place, with one hand still clutching at Jay’s like a lifeline. “We didn’t practice that,” you mumble.

He shakes his head and rubs his thumb over your cheek with his other hand. “No, we didn’t. Are you mad?”

“Mad? I think I’m jealous of your future girlfriend,” you say, forcing a laugh. It sounds wooden even to your ears.

He frowns. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act as if you don’t know how much I like you.” 

The world stops turning on its axis. “What?”

His gaze slips down to your mouth, tracing your cupid’s bow. “You heard me.” He turns hopeful eyes on you. “Do you… feel the same?”

Just like that, the world resumes its motion, and you can’t let him go a second longer without knowing how much he is loved. “Desperately.” 

He breathes a sigh of relief, and you think he’s going to kiss you— you need him to kiss you— but he hugs you close instead, lips hovering against your ear. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” he murmurs.

“If it’s anything close to how happy I am, I probably have a good idea,” you laugh. You’re surprised at how quickly the burning urge to have his mouth on yours has tempered into something more grounded and permanent. 

“I have to go do something for my parents, but I think I’ll die if I have to leave you. Will you come watch?” 

You’d go anywhere with him. “Of course.”

He squeezes your hand. “Thanks, doll.” Against your will, your hand spasms in his. He giggles, delighted. “Duly noted.”

“Shut up,” you complain, but you follow him all the way to the tented dance floor set up on the grounds behind the house, only letting go after he kisses each of your fingertips in turn.

You’re surprised to see him pull out an eight-string guitar, and even more surprised when he explains to the gathered crowd that he’ll be playing the song from his parents’ first dance. They look perfect, swaying in the center of the floor, but you only have eyes for Jay.

You watch as his fingers pluck deftly at the strings, a romantic Spanish melody that barely reaches your ears over the rush of all your adoration for him. As soon as the song is over, he catches you in his arms, lifting you up and spinning you around twice before setting you back down, hands at home around your waist.

He asks if you want to dance. You teeter back on your heels, looking at the graceful curve of his mouth and thinking back to the nimbleness of his fingers. “Honestly? I want to kiss you. Really badly.”

He exhales and holds you tighter. “You won’t let me take you out first?”

“If you count the last few weeks, you’ve taken me out, like, a million times.”

“But a real date, doll. I want to cook for you, and we can get tea lights, and a picnic blanket, and— god.” Jay sucks in a sharp breath when you move his hands higher to cup underneath your chest. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he sighs, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I hope so. Stop being so nice, and take me to your room, please?”

Jay’s eyes flick heavenward. There’s only so much self-restraint left in him. “You win.”

And when he finally kisses you, pressed up against the door of his childhood bedroom, you nearly cry from how tender it is. He kisses you slowly, reverently, like you’re one of the saints from his history books.

“Sometimes, I think I’ve dreamt you up,” you confess to him. The words hang precious and delicate in the space between your lips.

“Let me show you I’m real then, yeah?” He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then licks right into you, eliciting a gasp from the back of your throat. Your fingers find purchase in the soft hair at the back of his head, and you realize that you’ve been breathing the wrong air your whole life; the groan that passes from his mouth to yours is the only thing you want in your lungs from now on. 

Liquid desire pools in your stomach, rising until you think you might choke on it. “Jay, please.”

“Please, what? Use your words, doll.”

“Touch me.”

That’s all he needs to hear. Quicker than you realize it, but just as urgently as you need it, you find yourself laid out on his bed, and then he’s demonstrating that he knows more than just how to play guitar with those thick fingers.

When you make it out of his room an hour later, you’re still glowing with happiness. Jay knows he looks equally lovestruck, not least because his collar is hiding several lipstick stains from you. 

You offer to help him redo his tie, so he anchors you unnecessarily close to him, hands sweeping up and down your side. “I don’t think I told you yet, but you look really nice tonight,” he murmurs. “You look really nice all the time, actually.”

You bury your face in his chest. “I’m going to explode if you keep sweet-talking me like that.”

He presses his smile to the top of your head. “Nooooo, you’re too pretty to explode.”

“Jay!” But you’re both laughing, bathed in the soft magic of newfound devotion. You couldn’t dream up anything better.

(Dating Jay is a lot like fake-dating Jay, as it turns out. In some ways.

In other ways, Jay still manages to take your breath away with new and inventive methods. He really does make you dinner, with tea lights and a picnic blanket, ensconced in the twilight of a park you drive an hour away to get to. He even makes foie gras torchon for the occasion, from scratch, and he watches you intently as you moan in delight at the taste. You joke about your breath being fishy when you kiss later, but he just shrugs, unbothered and already moving so that his head disappears underneath your dress, making you moan in a different way.

So, yes— there’s a lot more kissing, and sex, and intimacy that makes you want to curl up in a ball and hiss at how vulnerable it makes you. But Jay is always welcome in the prickly patches of your soul, and he wants those parts of you as much as he wants the parts of you that paint him in aching affection.

When he finally tells you he loves you that winter— in so many words, because it shows in his every action otherwise—, it’s three in the morning again, and your hands are fluttering across his brow, smoothing out the creases from a night of worrying about whether he’s really good enough to take over the family business. Your fingers, lovely and dear to him, stitch together the cracks in his self-resolve, and he can’t help but let the words out. His heart absolutely sings when you repeat the words back to him.

Some time later, you ask him to sit for a portrait for you. He doesn’t think too much of it, especially as the seasons bleed into one another and spring brings an influx of senior events, pollen, and the impending question of the future. He’s at your senior thesis, asking you detailed questions during the audience Q&A and wrapping you up in the biggest hug when it’s over, and you sit in on the final class he TAs, applauding when he’s done.

At the showcase of your final portfolio, his jaw drops when you reveal the second portrait (after having laughed his ass off at Jake blubbering over the first one and Yunjin kissing him in public to shut him up). 

The second portrait is of him, and his parents. From his dad’s strong brows, to his mom’s smile lines, to his own hands; every detail is captured, shimmering in loving light. 

He finds that his eyes are wet when you come up to him and brush your thumb against his  eyelashes, smiling brightly at him. “Do you like it?”

“I love it. I love you, so much, like crazy, you don’t even know,” he rambles, laughing through his tears now.

You kiss him quickly but firmly, just a reminder that your mouth was made to fit against his. “Love you more, London boy. Speaking of…” You lean back to stare at him through your eyelashes. “I got the Rhodes,” you whisper.

His eyes widen like saucers. “You’re coming with me?”

“More like you’re coming with me,” you say, knowing that Jay had requested to be placed at his family business’s England location to be close to you in the event that you got the scholarship.

“Obviously,” he relents without missing a beat. “I’m going to follow you everywhere. Can’t get rid of me now.” He dips his head to kiss you longer. Lightning still shoots through his fingertips, just like the first time, and every time after that.

At graduation, you tell him, “You know, I think I’ve decided what I want your favor to be.”

He smiles at you, familiar and true. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Just love me, for a long, long time.”

“Easy, Cinderella.”)

#enhypen #park jay #park jongseong #enhypen jay #enhypen x reader #enhypen fic #jay x reader #jay fic #jay oneshot #enhypen oneshot #enhypen fluff #jay fluff #wrote this in 5 days bc i am deranged #no banner bc idk how to make one and don't plan on learning so we're rawdogging it #back when i wrote fics on tumblr for **** there used to be like banner makers who would specifically make them for ppl... #is that still a thing? someone lmk idk #okay! ready set go gimme ur thoughts on this #im gonna go to dinner and then watch the rest of ep 7 and 8 of king the land and ignore how sunghoon is soooo guwon #i also need to finish dr romantic 3 and start packing to move across multiple state lines #but maybe i'll fall into the clutches of guwon sunghoon or jake puppy fic. i need a lobotomy honestly #ss.fic

[softspiderling]

but i need your lips on mine | d.h.

summary: derek hale is a mystery you have yet to solve

pairing: derek hale x reader

warnings: none

word count: 1,9k

author's note: hello guys the teaser for the long awaited college au is finally here. i hope you guys like it :) tagging @stilinskiderek bc i’ve been annoying charlotte about this fic for ages and i know she’s been waiting for a derek fic😭 side note: this is a teaser/accompanying fic to the actual fic boy, you write your name (I can do the same) which will be out on thursday! meaning this is NOT an excerpt of the fic, but offers more background of the relationship derek and the reader have, and also where the nickname CJ comes from

“Are you actually washing the car or are you just waiting for someone to pay attention to you?”

“Oh ha ha, you’re hilarious,” Derek said dryly, wringing out the sponge and tossing it in one of the soapy buckets. You grinned at him, tossing him a water bottle, which he easily caught, drinking quickly as you leaned your hands into your waist.

“Thanks.”

“Sure,” you replied, looking around. It was quite busy, every single member of the frat seemed hard at work. “Pretty nice turnout, huh?”

Derek shrugged in a way that meant he was agreeing with you, but he didn’t want to look like he was bragging. He was humble like that. You scoffed, brushing your hair back over your shoulder, and Derek zeroed in on the bikini strap under your top, a grin forming on his face.

“You come here to lend a hand?”

“Oh please,” you rolled your eyes at him with a snicker. “I was thinking ahead. With you standing in the sun for the whole day and Isaac around buckets full of water? I was bound to end up soaked, thought I’d save me a trip to the laundromat.”

“Now you’re basically begging me to drench you,” Derek drawled, picking up the sponge soaked full of water, advancing on you.

“Don’t you dare!” You hissed at him, giving him a shove.

“Are you doing a special?”

While you and Derek were wrestling around, ending up with both of you getting a soak, you hadn’t noticed the Mini pulled up next to you, windows down, a pretty girl smirking at yoi.

“Nah, I’m just here to support my friends,” you said, gesturing to Derek, wiping your wet forehead with a laugh. “It’s his frat that’s organizing this car wash. Derek, this is Amanda, she’s in my Women’s Writing class. Just transferred from Palomar.”

“Hey,” Derek said, leaning against her car. “You here for a full wash?”

“Sure am.”

Derek nodded, leaning back. “Isaac! Grab some boys and a couple of buckets, we got another one.”

Isaac saluted Derek, his wet curls hanging in his face. Glancing over to you, he grinned, wagging his eyebrows when he caught you staring at his bare chest, turning on his heel to grab the buckets, but not without teasing you.

“Take a picture, CJ, it’ll last longer.”

“CJ?” Amanda asked, raising a brow. You groaned internally when Derek only smirked at her, clearly ecstatic that he got to tell the story again.

“Right, you’re a transfer, so you don’t know where her nickname comes from. Well, let me tell you, you’re in for a treat. It was a really nice summer day-”

“Derek, I’m not letting you tell the story again with the exaggerations,” you scowled at him, though in jest, shoving him gently. You turned back to Amanda, sighing softly. “Anyways. It all started when I was a freshman, a couple of weeks into the semester. I was taking Deucalion’s class for Intro to Ancient History….”

An incessant ringing pulled you out of your deep slumber, but your head barely rose from the pillow as you poked the screen of your phone until the alarm stopped, leaving you to your slumber again. You had fallen asleep around 4:30 because it had taken you that long to finish your paper on Caesar. Usually, you never left your assignments for the last minute, and to be fair, you didn’t really. Leave it to the last minute, that is. The assignment was done, sitting in your folders waiting to be printed for about a week or so. But then you caught up with your study group, where you found out that Deucalion always knocked you down a letter grade if he didn’t agree with your opinion. And he loved Caesar. You didn’t. Which you made exceptionally clear in your essay. So being the freshman that you were, wanting to get good grades in your first semester, you decided to rewrite all 8 pages with the deadline looming in less than 10 hours, because he insisted on collecting the assignments right at the beginning of the class. Not the smartest thing you’ve done. Around one am, the library had closed, in the middle of your hot streak, and by the time you reached your dorm, you lost your train of thought and it took you two hours to find it again. And it was not because you fell asleep for 20 minutes. When the alarm blares up again, you groaned loudly, reaching for your phone to silence it, stilling when the phone pinged, announcing the arrival of a text. You narrowed your eyes at the screen, your eyes bleary as your vision slowly cleared.

[Stevie]: where r u???

Your heart plummeted when you read the text, and while you checked the time, you had to resist the urge to throw yourself out of the window.

08:13. Deucalion’s class started at 08:15.

“FUCK!”

Scrambling up from your bed, your legs tangled in the blankets and you nearly brained yourself when you fell to the floor. Getting up, you located your paper on your desk, making sure it was still where you left it, before you headed to the bathroom, quickly brushing your teeth. With your toothbrush in your mouth, you tugged some jeans and a shirt out of the closet, laying it on the bed to get changed when there was another ping.

[Stevie]: hes l8 if u hurry up u mite make it in time

Your eyes widened, the gods must’ve heard your silent prayers and you rushed to the bathroom, spitting out your toothpaste, and splashing some water in your face for good measure before you grabbed your stuff, backpack on your arm, phone and paper in your hand, running across campus to get to the lecture hall. When you finally skidded to a halt in front of the doors of the lecture hall, you slowly opened the door, peeking into it. There were two lines down the stairs, so the other students must be in line to drop off their papers at the front. Sighing a deep breath of relief, you squeezed yourself through the gap in the door and inconspicuously walked behind the last person in line. As the line moved forward, you dropped your backpack in between the seated rows, making it seem like you’d been in the class from the beginning. As the line slowly moved forward, you caught a glimpse of Professor Deucalion at the front. Only, it wasn’t him… Narrowing your eyes, you eyed the guy that was standing by the desk, his arms crossed. He had dark hair, a faint stubble and a scowl on his face. Must be Deucalion’s TA, though you didn’t remember ever seeing him during lectures, though he did look quite familiar. By the time you reached the front desk, you lifted your head, your eyes meeting the TA’s. He raised an eyebrow at you as you dropped your assignment on the stack and the way the corners of his mouth curled up made you furrow your brows.

“What?” you asked defensively and he uncrossed his arms, leaning his hands on the desk.

“Nothing… Just. Cute jammies.”

You heard the class let out laughter as you stared at him before glancing down at yourself, flushing when you realized you were still wearing your pj’s, which was just a tank top and arguably your worst pyjama pants: Teal and pink Hello Kitty pants. Snapping your head up, you glared at him, but before you could say another word, the side door opened, and Professor Deucalion walked in.

“You better take a seat, CJ,” the TA said with a smirk, collecting the assignments in his hand and you bit back a retort, finding an empty in the back row as Professor Deucalion started the lecture. As he droned on, your eyes kept flitting over to the TA in the first row, glaring at the back of his head. Even hours later, when you were at some fresher party a frat was throwing, the incident was a topic with your friends.

“It was crazy. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

Stevie nodded as you only rolled your eyes, taking another sip of your drink. “Seriously, she was staring with her mouth open and everything. Which I get. I just have more self-control.”

“You guys are ridiculous. He was making fun of me,” you pointed out and Audrey stared at you, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head.

“Dude. He wants to bang you.”

With a snort, you shook your head at your friends and their crazy conspiracy theories.

“Come on, I didn’t come here to talk about our lecture. Let’s go find something to do. I think they’re playing beer pong in the backyard,” you suggested, dragging your friends through the house and out into the backyard, which seemed to be just as crowded as inside. Walking over to the beer pong table, it looked like they were in the middle of the game, so you just tapped on the shoulder of one guy.

“Hey, is it possible for me and my friends to play a round?”

“Sure,” he replied without turning around, throwing the ball and scoring. “You guys can just- oh hey, CJ!”

Of course it was fucking him*. The TA from Deucalion’s lecture was standing in front of you, an amused grin on his face.*

“My name is-” you started, but he waved you off snickering.

“I know what your name is. But CJ is fitting, isn’t it?” He took a sip from his drink, giving you a brief once over and you ignored how Stevie’s grip around your arm tightened for a second. “I see you changed, though I must say I did like the pants.” You gave him a look and he offered you his hand.

“Derek Hale.”

“There were a lot of people at that party. And I guess the name just stuck.”

“Huh. So everyone just calls you CJ?”

You shrugged. You didn’t really mind the nickname, it was cute. At this point, it was odd to hear someone call you by your government name unless it was a professor or someone from the faculty. Everyone addressed you as CJ. It was just the story that bothered you, mostly because Derek liked to add details that were unimportant. Also because he cracked up all the time telling the story like it was the funniest thing he’d ever experienced, that jerk.

“You have to admit it’s a cool nickname,” Derek cut in, and Amanda laughed.

“Guess so… So how does that work with you being a TA and you two dating?”

“We’re not dating.” “He’s not actually a TA.”

Really? That was what he chose to correct? You side-eyed Derek but he just gave you a subtle wink as Amanda perked up, looking at you curiously.

“So, you’re single?”

Even before you replied, you noticed how Derek clinked himself out of the conversation, walking over to the waiting cars leaning against the door. Every time you thought you had figured him out, he went ahead and did something that confused you even more. Sometimes you thought back to what Audrey and Stevie had said to you about Derek before you even really knew him. You glanced over to him as you handed Amanda your phone so she could put her number in, and it was as if Derek could feel your eyes on him, he turned his head in your direction, giving you a small smile, flashing his teeth at you. Some day you will just flat out ask him.

But not today.

#derek hale #derek hale x reader #derek hale fanfiction #teen wolf #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf fic

[thinking-destiel-thoughts]

So I could go after a bunch of stuff that irks me in How I Met Your Mother but I wanted to post about some of the major things that bother me and see if I’m crazy or if others resonate the same.

First and most frustrating to me: STELLA. nearly everything about this irked me.

The thing with inviting Robin to the wedding…like, yeah, absolutely valid that you don’t want your future husband’s ex to be there. But why didn’t you say that when making the initial plans? Especially when you know she’s one of his 4 friends. Did you really expect him to not invite her??

The thing with inviting Tony…yes, absolutely I get not wanting him there. But Ted has no legal guardianship over Lucy. What exactly was Ted supposed to do? Take a little girl from her father against his will? That’s kidnapping. He has no legal right to take Lucy away from Tony.

Moving into an apartment in New York with Tony after making a massive point about how ridiculous it would be for her to do something like that with Ted. Like…girly…the man wouldn’t move to New Jersey for his OWN child? Ted was like “you know what, you’re right” but Tony was like “nah give up the house” and that was fine??

Going to Ted to ask him to get Tony back for her…my sister in Christ, what the fuck. What exactly did Tony expect Ted to say about the woman who LEFT HIM AT THE ALTER? Did he expect Ted to still be obsessed with her? And WHY does Stella even want Tony back if the man is willing to break up their family for a SECOND TIME bc a man who Stella hurt is not obsessed with her and thinks she’s selfish? Clearly he wanted the out. Why chase him? AND the fact that she literally only apologizes bc she needs help from him…ugh. That is messed up imo

The movies REALLY irk me. Ted is the man who YOU left at the alter and the man who GOT TONY BACK FOR YOU, but you let this man make him the villain for his movie? You not only divulge private shit that went on between you and Ted, but you also don’t stop him from putting it in a fricking movie?? I get Tony having his warped image of things, fine, but Stella really just let that all go down like that?? She just told Tony every single detail and everything she ever learned about Ted and he put it in a movie. WHY

Ted and Victoria, the second time they get together:

One of my biggest issues with this is that for some reason Ted is the one people blame for the wedding not happening??? As if 1) Victoria wasn’t a whole adult who chose to not tell Ted it was her wedding day before agreeing to meet up with him and bringing a car for them to run away together 2) Victoria’s husband-to-be ALSO ran away from the wedding. He literally also left!!

Even if Ted had brought Victoria back, there wouldn’t have been a wedding. Victoria’s dad blaming Ted and expecting him to pay is so crazy to me.

Another issue I have is with her being pissy that Ted wants her ex-fiancé out of his apartment. It’s not like the dude was normal and super chill. He had an aggressive pet that kept birthing babies and biting AND he didn’t respect boundaries. Like if the dude was just chilling and a normal roommate, I’d get it. But I don’t feel like it was unreasonable for Ted to not want him there — he agreed to let the ex stay with him and had no knowledge of the ferrets or whatever pets the guy had when he suggested it.

My last issue with Victoria is that when Ted is like “if you wanted a bigger commitment, you’d tell me, right?” and she’s like “yeah, I’d be direct.” and then continues to be passive aggressive. The man literally told her “I need you to be direct” and she wouldn’t. All of that on top of her thing about getting back together with him on her wedding day meant he shouldn’t be shocked she wants to get married…babygirl…you didn’t want to get married. You literally ran away at the first opportunity when Ted asked if you wanted to catch up

Ted and The Mother: My main issue with them is that SO quick after being ready to MOVE TO CHICAGO bc he loves Robin, he’s just all good to stay for her? Like suddenly the Robin thing is a non-issue??? Like…bruh??? That just doesn’t track for me at all.

I also take issue with him returning to Robin in the finale and the kids encouraging it. Like idk about yall but wouldn’t it be weird for your dad to admit to saying he was so in love with his best friend’s wife that he was moving but the next day fell for your mom? I feel like I’d be kinda like “okay so was mom a stand in for Robin??? is that what the point of this story was???”

Ted and Barney (Robin and the bro code): I’m pretty sure going after your best friend’s ex-wife is a violation of the bro code if going after your ex-girlfriend is. Like this is the one woman your best friend ever REALLY loved…

Plus…was it not a whole issue of Ted being unable to sleep with a woman because he thought Barney was with her first? But banging the woman Barney was married to and consistently slept with is fine?

There’s definitely more that irks me but these are the main things…anyway. for anyone who made it this far, thanks for reading my rant lol

#how i met your mother #himym #how I met your mother spoilers #himym spoilers #idk if spoilers has to be tagged since the show is long over but oh well #ted and stella #ted and victoria #ted and robin #ted and barney #ted mosby #robin sherbatsky #stella zimmerman #is that her last name? #himym stella #tracy mcconnell #himym victoria #rant post

[momentofmemory]

16 + whatever combo of scott, liam, isaac, and hayden u want (this is chaotic bc i’m trying to be normal) (<3 cat)

“What kind of question is that?”

“Uh, a normal one,” Isaac says, kicking his legs up on the table. “I just wanna know if the obsession with biting abs is Hale-specific.”

“He bit me on the arm,” Hayden offers, before Liam can squawk anymore.

“That’s two for two. Maybe Scott’s an arm guy,” Isaac says.

“I wasn’t exactly thinking about it when I bit Liam,” Scott mutters, feeling like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“No no, take is as a point in your favor,” Isaac says. “Sounds way less invasive. Derek just hopped out of the train, ripped up my shirt and chomped down.”

Liam’s eyes widen approximately six times. “Hopped out of the what?”

“Train,” Scott says tiredly. “Derek was living there for awhile.”

“Sounds sanitary,” Hayden drawls.

“Oh, yeah, I probably could’ve gotten sepsis even with being wolf,” Isaac agrees.

“Was it fast?” Liam asks. “Scott’s bite lasted like, forever for me.”

“Again: it’s not like I had options!”

“Nah, just a bite and run,” Isaac says. “He did throw me a t-shirt to wrap it up with.”

“More sepsis?” Liam asks.

“Yep.”

“I was kind of out of it for my bite’s bandage,” Liam says.

“I wrapped it!” Scott interjects. “I got gauze from the hospital.”

“And was this before or after you wrapped him in duct tape?”

Scott fiddles mulishly at the ground with his shoe. “…Before. I wasn’t exactly—”

“Thinking about it,” Isaac finishes. “We know.”

“Deaton bandaged mine,” Hayden interjects proudly. “And Scott was really careful to pull his teeth out slowly to keep the bite marks clean.”

Scott isn’t sure if he should feel flattered or embarrassed by that. “My bite was pretty jagged, so it bled a lot. I thought I’d try to make it a little better.”

Isaac tips chair back a bit, pulling off his shades. “Yeah? How long?”

“Uh—it was a little after midnight when it happened, and it was still kind of bleeding when I got back at three, so—”

“It took you three hours to get home?” Hayden interjects.

Scott winces, feeling the shift in the mood. “Well, it—it was five mile walk and I didn’t have my inhaler, so I was going kind of slow just in case…”

He trails off.

Isaac clears his throat. “Just in case sepsis, right?”

Scott lets out a startled laugh. “Yeah. Sepsis.”

There’s another pauses as the betas glance at each other, then Liam says, “I bet Peter would give the worst sepsis.”

Hayden nudges Liam with her shoulder, nearly tipping the other beta’s chair over. “You can’t give ‘worse’ sepsis.”

“Have you seen Peter’s teeth?”

“…Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”

“Sucks about the walk, though, you know,” Isaac says. “Derek didn’t give me a ride either, but at least it was only like a mile.”

“Scott gave me a ride,” Hayden preens.

“I gave Liam one, too!”

“You kidnapped me!”

“It counts!”

“Don’t think so, Scott,” Isaac says, and Scott fake pouts.

“The second does,” Liam offers.

Scott stares at him in surprise. “Second?”

“Yeah. Out at Lydia’s lake house,” he says, with surprising sincerity.

“I think we can all agree,” Hayden says, “that Scott had the worst Alpha, but he also wound up becoming the best one.”

“Yeah,” Isaac says, nudging Scott’s chair. “No question there.”

#scott mccall #isaac lahey #hayden romero #liam dunbar #mccall pack #teen wolf #memsficlets

[danothan]

dw you didnt sound dismissive at all!! sorry for the autism moment frankly i do not know how to be concise

to be totally clear im not a "holds comics/specific runs sacred" kind of person either 😭 i have fun with the young justice show (honestly . was the first thing i saw kon in, and how i immediately fell in love with his character) even if i question the way it handled him and megs characters + relationship (i will not spoiler<3)

i absolutely also gravitate towards characters with anger so when i first saw kon in yja i was enamoured with him and i 100% get loving him as a standalone because i did and still do 😭 yja kon is Why i like kon so much now

i was rly approaching ur tags like u weren't familiar with him so im sorry for that assumption off the bat </3 and i was more focusing on how the design was reflective of writing choices that Influenced the show. i will say that comics kon is also a hot head whos dealing with shit esp in his 90s run (sb94 + yj98) and he is just. in general a fun character to read when hes being a little cocky abt it. so i do recommend reading his early stuff if he interests u :] bc hes a fun little guy whos lives in the head no matter what his iteration is

i want to say sorry if it sounded dismissive of Your little guy also 😭 i slapped the bit abt the show kon on the end bc it felt related to the general writing direction hed been going thru in the 00s (which is to say, being spearheaded by a misogynistic homophobe) LOL but to be so honest i do Like him i just have. thoughts and feelings abt the show that i got before i even read anything kon was in. im honestly on season 4 of it rn <3 i wish u luck on your rewatch

<- im a "has fun with the dcamu and video games and other adaptions of the comics and finds worth in them" kind of person anyhow ^_^ i think the fun of dcs bazillion earths and stuff is that many things abt a character can be true at once and people can find what they like in certain iterations and play frankenstein. i like. genuinely wholeheartedly agree that the comic cynicism is soul crushing lmfao 😭

ps. the cadmus tag -> earring thing haunts me every day......... i simply get so attached to his writing and how you can read transness in it<3

erm. have a good daynight<3333 sorry for a second essay

nah i appreciate the info, i don’t think i’m ever gonna shed that newcomer feel i have as a dc fan no matter how deep i dive, so better safe than sorry! this is rly teaching me a lot abt the character anyhow, so net win regardless 👍

glad to hear his hot-headedness is a constant too, it’s odd bc i don’t rly resonate with angry characters personally, but i get SO defensive abt them when ppl act like anger isn’t a legitimate and sympathetic trauma response. i have a feeling that that’s gonna apply here too

another thing i’m getting a lot here is that Smth Fucked Up is gonna happen to conner and m’gann’s relationship, and i do Not remember that when i first watched it, so that’s uh. smth to look forward to haha

i hope to get a fuller picture of the guy some day, here’s to frankensteining comic characters 🥂

#danswers #conner kent #dc #yja #long post #i’m always going to welcome an autism moment loll dw abt it #also i have my criticisms of yja as well but they’re not so prominent that it takes away from my enjoyment #but the thing is that i feel like those problems will only persist so i wanna hold on to the stuff i already enjoy yk? #(<- certified danothan fatal flaw)

[gilbirda]

I posted 16,670 times in 2022

That's 6,991 more posts than 2021!

372 posts created (2%)

16,298 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mekakido

@deathcomes4u

@high-pot-in-noose

@hopefulbandittrashsoul

@sometimes-me

I tagged 2,530 of my posts in 2022

#danny phantom - 192 posts

#gil answers - 162 posts

#dp x dc - 144 posts

#dpxdc - 122 posts

#anger management ship - 102 posts

#batman dc - 90 posts

#jazz/jason - 78 posts

#jazz x jason - 71 posts

#jason todd - 69 posts

#dc x dp - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#add spain and that time we had 4 presidents in 4 month and some guy had to storm the congress riding a horse and declare some random dude k

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

(in a read more bcs is long)

#5

Good Cop! Jason and Bad Cop! Jazz would be super hilarious 😂 Imagine Red Hood just pointing a gun at a criminal and being like, "Look, either you face my bullet or you talk your feelings out, what'll it be?"

And the criminal just scoffs, "How about we talk about my feelings?"

"Alright."

And then, this sweet young lady walks in, with a sweet smile, and says, "Now let's talk about your mommy issues."

"I'd rather face the bullet, ma'am."

AKWJDJCJFJDJJSJDJDJFJ

LMAO THIS WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST THING.

Honestly, power couple. One can make you cry and scream and regret everything.... and the other can do that as well but with a sweet smile and kind words.

Weaponized psychology.

But not like Spectra - nah, she's not into misery or causing problems. She just knows that some people would prefer death before facing their own issues.

I love this so much.

"I'd rather face the bullet, ma'am."

This will live rent free in my head.

794 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#4

Mondays, am I right?

Or Danny is an Arkham Security Guard, from this post

Forgot to link some AMAZING art for this idea. Inspired the 'sneakers' part.

SOME FANART FOR MY FIC

[Read on AO3][Read on FF.net]

Sequel - Employee of the month >>

The first thing Danny said when Jazz expressed her interest in interning at Arkham was:

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

To which she answered:

“It is said that you have to be a bit crazy to work in Arkham, soooo…”

Danny had to agree that her response was quick and true, but still he didn’t like her going to that madhouse and probably die because, I dunno, Joker woke up wrong or she tried to psychoanalyze the Riddler. He said this to her through the phone, hoping that she could imagine him pacing up and down the apartment.

“The security there is top notch, Danny, and the bat-fam is always one call away.”

“You know as well as I do that’s bullshit. The guards are human, some of those crazies are not.”

“That term is very harmful, Daniel,” she used her mom voice.

“Sorry. But you see what I mean, right? If anything happens I won’t be there to save you. Not in time, at least.” He could try and measure how long it would take to fly from his apartment to Arkham, just in case.

There was a long silence. He heard his sister breathe in, breathe out, like she was mentally preparing herself to say something.

“I… I heard, from other interns I talked to, that guard positions are always open. And that it’s super easy to get in.”

“Jazz. Are you-”

“Don’t. I know you. Don’t think I’ll ever forget the ‘visits’ when I started college.”

Danny looked down and stopped pacing. Maybe he was a bit overprotective of his sister. Maybe he freaked out for weeks after she moved to her dorm, complaining about how long it took him to fly there. 

He regretted nothing.

“Gotham is too far from Amity. I prefer cutting the chase and having you with me in Arkham than dealing with a helicopter little brother on the reg.”

He swallowed the knot in his throat. “Is this your sisterly way of telling me that I should get a job?”

“I gave up after you were fired from the Nasty Burger. Nasty Burger, Danny! Not even Val was fired, and she had another job and the Red Huntress business!”

“I know…”

Jazz sighed. “I’m going to nap a bit and then finish packing things up here. I’ll text you the site where you can apply for the guard job.”

“Thanks, Jazzy.”

“Don’t call me that. Love you.”

“Love you.”

***

See the full post

813 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#3

Time for some BatPham and DPxDC fic recs

I got a comment asking for some recs and I thought it'll be easier to have a masterlist or something in my tumblr and link that

SOOOOO I asked the BatPham server for recs and I'll just slap them here and add some that come to my mind in no particular order because it's 4:20 am (blaze it)(not really, kids, dont smoke) and ill comment some ive read personally

cheers!!!!

Now with Part 2!

Just the Typical Weirdness by Pandemi

The Phantom and the Knight by savya398

The Auction by Lalenja (young justice crossover)

30 Days of Kidnappings by Hyperintrovert

Types of Family by NerdofSpades

Unearthed, Reborn by QueenOfTheQuill

Pearls and Pomegranates by Evandarya (BrainDead (TimxDanny) inspired in Hades&Persephone)

The Fantabulous Emancipation of Danny Fenton by HistoricallyInnacurate

It Matters to Have this Ghost Clan Near (This Family I Never Knew) by SagaDuWyrm

The Captain and the King by Sivan5733 (A series featuring Captain Marvel AND John Constantine)

Change in Management by voidwriting (Love me some Sentient Gotham, I actually have to catch up with this gem of a fic) - with fanart!

Beauty lays behind the hills by Library_of_Cronos

moon's haunted by heybabybird (funny)

Speed Dial by apotheosis_avaritia (funny but short :( I want more)

Concession to Realism by wildimaginingsofhalfbakedideas (danny yeeted to WFA universe. Very cute)

Ghosts Don't go to High School by Evandarya (BrainDead cuteness tbh i love this one)

close enough to be whole again by hailsatanacab (twins Danny and Damian. ANGST. Good shit right here)

Green skies by siren_of_the_ocean

It's Hard to Make Friends When You're Half in the Grave by SagaDuWyrm

Leap Before You Think by TourettesDog

overbearing obsession by Ocearna (good shit right here, Ocearna's writing..... good)

Shrodinger’s Bat by Michaelisunderrated (angst! I have to catch up but it's really good as far as I read!!!)

Afterimage by TorScrawls (THE DESCRIPTIONS HERE! ELDRITCH DANNO..... GOOD)

Robin's Egg by Calix (really good!!!!! Damian is so serious and dangerous and will protect Danny like the "I only had X for a day but I would kill..." meme)

Raising Phantom by Imp_y (good shit!!!! de-aged Danny! Some Anger Management (JazzxJason) hints, batfam dynamics!!!)

See the full post

828 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#2

Jason headcanon for y'alls consideration:

Jason needs glasses to read.

The boy must have read books in conditions that aren't optimal for reading. Since he was a kid.

Sure, the Pit could heal it all, but he was back it with his old habits after coming back to life, like hiding in dark corners to read. Places where no one would find him and he wouldn't be interrupted.

Sure, he could bring a lamp, but he was perfectly fine reading with whatever little light he got, why bother?

Fast forward some years, he notices that words get blurry and he has to squint more and more.

Roy mocks him. He looks like an old lady. Like a dad reading the newspaper.

He gets sent memes about old people facing small screens and modern technology

(Yes I'm pushing the Old Man Jason agenda as well, as seen in PandaRedd's skits.)

The thing is

He needs glasses to read.

Artists of Tumblr, please, I beg you. Jason with glasses.

1,372 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

An DC × DP AU wherein the whole of the Batclan is out of Gotham leaving Alfred with an empty mansion while the worst blizzard in decades in smothering out all crime in Gotham and Victor Fries is on a sort of parole with the League to conduct investigations on a Sub-Zero planet at the behest of the locals.

All is quiet until a silent alarm goes off and informs Alfred that one of the patio doors had been opened from the outside despite being locked, Alfred makes his way to the camera room to gaze upon the possible thief if not thieves. Instead he is greeted by a group of six poorly clad teens with two of them showing early signs of frostbite while another looks as if they are on the verge of going into hypothermia. Alfred realizes that the break in was to find shelter rather than ill intent, furthermore after listening in on the teens he is able to detect an Illinois accent among the group and mentions of a "Guys in White" as well as hearing the young woman who could be a twin of a younger Miss Gordon mentioning "waiting out the blizzard and finding Batman".

Rather than waiting or doing what anyone else in his position would do by calling upon Gotham's Finest to removing the group, Alfred maeldebhisvway to the kitchen to whip up a batch of his beloved Hot Cocoa and made his way to the teens unconcerned for his safety as none of the six seemed particularly dangerous especially the three who appeared to be in the most dire of conditions.

An AU in which Six Teens (Danny, Jazz, Sam, Tucker, Valerie, and Dani) from Amity Park are on the run from the Ghost Investigation Ward and they break into Wayne Manor in search of Safety. An Alfred centric idea as the Batclan are all elsewhere and the blizzard making moving about Gotham nearly impossible, with the GIW in search of the Six.

You know what? We need more Alfred-centric fics. Alfred is the best and is the original adopter of the Wayne clan.

I mean he looked at the wet pathetic cat that was Bruce and said "this one, this is my son now".

I can imagine he notices that the kids aren't normal kids... skittish, won't let him touch them, one looks pale but swears he isn't injured, Barbara's doppelgänger is the mom of the group despite not being much older...

He sends a text to Bruce and the others, but messages are not going through with the blizzard. He considers using the Watchtower to pass on the message, but it's not an emergency, is just a hunch.

He makes the decision, then. A secret for a secret - he works for Batman and will ask him the favor to help.

They don't buy it until Alfred proves it, somehow. And then-

Then the kids start talking. Alfred can see that they don't want to reveal a lot, that they don't want to worry him or speak too much without Batman here or are used to not speaking at all.

"Batman has the no kill rule," Alfred says after he got a clearer picture of their situation, "but I don't."

I'd love to read this. Right now I don't have the spoons, so if anybody can and want to, this is up for adoption!!!

(ha!)

1,622 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #lmao i was not expecting some of these #also my most used tags are those to nobody's surprise

[tasteforrot]

Everything Is Dumb Now

everything seems dumb now

or the problems before tuesday

or my problems before tuesday

or the problems i focused on before tuesday

idk if theyre really dumb

but probably

does he like me will it work

venus in pisces taurus sun with a cancer ascendent

moon in leo

idk why liking someone is so terrifying to me

my shrink asked me why having basic needs met seems so impossible

or.

idk

the moon was in aquarius on tuesday i think

or i remember reading “let us hope this is a good omen”

(probably chani nicholas)

for two months i refreshed nine horoscope sites daily asking the internet

what would happen

i saw something this week

about the election coverage was too… like

focusing more on what will happen in november

not what was happening at the time

what will happen vs what is happening

what do we know

idk

this past month i began calling more feelings “pain”

laying in bed thinking “i’m in so much pain lol”

um

have you ever read the attachment theory wikipedia?

i’m sure there are better sources but the wikipedia is really convenient

there are four styles.

and this one style, “disorganized” is like

something like:

the way you’re greeted when you enter a room

and the way you’re treated

was never constant so u never like,

never know when the other shoe will drop

who will abandon when

or u’ll wild out bc like, idk.

the others are what they sound like

secure attachment style is what it sounds like

ppl with disorganized attachment ruin things, sabotage things

bc what’s the point if it’s already. idk

wednesday morning

when i told my therapist i watched someone die, she said

“oh, fuck talking about the election”

but like nah

we talked about the election

and the two guys i saw wearing those red hats

the first time ive seen them irl

first thing in the morning

on my walk up tenth avenue

i almost threw up

and threw myself on them but didnt

but i did also tell her i didn’t feel anything watching him die,

or i didn’t know what i felt or if i was feeling.

i watched him become president from my bed

scared of feeling anything except the most reality as possible

a few hours before,

i watched him make a noise and then he stopped breathing

and then a nurse hit his chest and said, “he’s just sleeping”

(he wasn’t)

she said he had a pulse, he’s fine

(he wasn’t)

it took the supervisor twenty-five minutes to show up

hospice care in a nursing home isn’t a hospital

the way she said it’s about making him comfortable

the way:

there are things that are supposed to happen

people asked if i was ok

my boss hugged me

idk if it was the death or the election

or what i’ve been saying online that has ppl msging me lately

telling me they hope im ok soon

waking up is harder now

it never really was before

i learned to like mornings in college

they felt more hopeful

opportunity, routine, etc

my shrink also told me to read online

specifically disorganized attachment

but that for some reason

and who knows

it’s not all I have. that i can do and do make secure bonds

there’s some secure attachment

something like hope?

idk

she said: attachments just are

you can’t force them

an attachment is

when i told my shrink about his last breath she said something like:

isn’t that all we have, a breath

and then we take another

and keep going

that’s the only difference

other times i’ve watched people die

(and never the act)

there was the clear moment between when they were gone

(when they started taking pain meds)

not their body but themselves

“the priority is comfort”

i only realized today that i don’t know whether or not he was in pain

just that when i got to his room, alone

i’ve never seen anyone like that

i thought he was going to die right then

with me alone

so i grabbed his hand, which was blue

and trying to take off his oxygen mask

i’ve been hearing the term “oxygen mask” a lot more

put on your oxygen mask before you help others

everyone says get out of ur internet bubble

lol

i mean, i agree

i guess

but i live alone

work online

my family is three white men

(it used to be more)

who asked me why i didn’t tell them about my sexual assaults sooner

(i had)

but i guess they forgot

or it doesnt matter? idk

i dont want to have to see them today

or tomorrow

but their dad only dies once

only died once

idk

before tuesday i’d get drunk

get stoned

wake up

apologize

idk

ever since tuesday the idea of feeling anything the most amount of

pain feels wrong

not pain for pain’s sake

but anesthetizing any of the reality

of what is and is about to happen

idk

isn’t there something about how pain is a great motivator

or isnt there that susan sontag thing about not believing someone else is in

pain?

is that the thing

or how people with that disease that makes them not feel pain are fucked

i can’t believe the pain i cause by trying to avoid pain

(myself + others)

getting out of bed isn’t a problem

or wasn’t before tuesday

(now it is)

i’m right by a window and it’s cold

and i just remember it’s real

and i’m where i was where i watched him become president

but

i like routine and waking up and drinking coffee

more so i feel it around 3pm or 5pm or 8pm or 11pm

what’s the fucking point

i don’t feel that way anymore

my anxiety’s been down since all my worst fears came true

i’m not as worried for now as i am a year from now

a year and three months

momentum, etc

it’s been clearer who’s trying to lessen suffering and who’s trying to clear

their name

i’ve been trying to take up less space

or occupy space in a different way

or, idk.

it’s easier to tell ppl i love them

u dont need a reason anymore

or maybe the reason is just more obvious

it’s too much noise n it’s not enough

im getting msgs from ppl telling me to stockpile birth control

but my body rejects most types of birth control

and i haven’t found one that works yet

so like

idk

hasnt loving and fucking always been terrifying

#Darcie Wilder #Through Clenched Teeth

[dreamofstarlight]

Even though Kathleen was well liked and generally loved by everyone she met. I feel like some of the jealousy or criticism was boiled down to the fact that how dare this granddaughter of an Irish Catholic move up in society. Also the fact that while Kick really loved Billy, girlie wasnt sitting around waiting for him lol like I bet you most women would sit around and wait for a man like Billy but Kick was like “nah❤️ I got Rockefellers to date and millionaire heirs” so it’s like a double insult to the aristo girls and waspy families bc here is the granddaughter of an Irish Catholic (that they look down upon) not caring so much while they would send their daughters off in a box to marry some random earl. And the fact she didn’t even try to catch Billy. She just happened to be the daughter of the ambassador and turned out to love England, she wasn’t scheming or anything. Like I read how one girl in her circle was like “oh well she’s after Billy bc he has a title and estate” and it’s like so what Karen??? Why is that a bad thing? Don’t you and all the aristos do the same? It’s apparently only bad when someone who is “lesser than” does it and succeeds. Not only did she get Billy but she got a man who loved her, was extremely rich (aka it wasn’t a “Dollar Princess” situation) and someone who was just a gentleman. If you compare their short but sweet marriage it was a lot better than those American girls who had to marry an Earl who had no money and didn’t love them. Even with the waspy families back in America/Boston, like Kick probably couldn’t even have her debutante party there since they looked down upon her and her family yet she had it England with actually high society members. It would’ve been interesting to see those people’s reaction when she married Billy or if she and Billy got their high society wedding in England. Sorry if this so long Kate but it’s just something I noticed while reading Paula’s book lol.

I agree with everything but I think Kick didn't see the other suiters as the same as Billy, like they were just kinda there for her to date for a bit but she always wanted to be with Billy, no one else was going to replace him in her mind. She didn't really wait for him but I don't think she would have been half as happy without being with him. If she married a Rockefeller or another rich guy I feel like she would still think about Billy and she would not be able to be in love with anyone else the way she was in love with Billy. Billy was the love of her life and everyone else she dated from leaving England in 1939 and coming back in 1943 was just a placeholder for him, none of them made her feel the way he did. I think if Billy ended up marrying someone else in the time she was not in England she would have genuinely been heartbroken and I think it would have taken a loooonnng time for her to move on and find someone else. Even though she wanted to join the red cross to help in the war effort it was also to go to England and be closer to Billy and win him over.

#anon #ask #answered #kick kennedy #kathleen kennedy cavendish #kathleen kennedy #kennedy family #the kennedys

[chuluoyi]

Pity 60?! ALMOST THERE! You can do it! 🥳 2 ?! Goodness how even 😭😭 The lowest I got was 6... Not any better but 2 is so close to being flat broke...

Yeahhh her dad is such an ass Maxi is the sweetest! And she's got a super hot husband now so I guess she DID benefit from being married off 😚 Oh I've read that too! Edna is such a girlboss I love her! It's different from the normal damsel in distress kind of Female lead, and it's really refreshing. What else have you read?

I hope so! But I'm still 18 and I wanna enjoy being single hahaha! I've seen my friends cry and weep over guys and I feel like I want to stay unburdened by the weight of a relationship till I'm like 19-20-ish? Thanks Chu! haha it's getting super rainy where I'm from... It's so cold istg...

Ahaha! I'm not THAT young. But I do agree that my watchlist is soul-sucking dhdhdh. Though, there's something about sad animes, don't you think?

HAHAHA you're young too! And you finished Naruto during your summer break?! Omg just how much did you watch per day you're amazing.

Right?! We deserve to know, Gege! Have mercy please was killing off our 3 JJK daddies not enough-

Hmm I honestly preferred the old art, even if the animation wasn't on par with Mappa's. I did pick it up after awhile, but Instagram spoiled me so I lost motivation after 2-3 episodes of season 4... I should really delete all social media accounts before watching a new anime...

Oh no is he okay HAHAHA was the ending that sad I'm slightly tempted to binge the rest of AOT after my exams are over hmm... How could he?!?! Gojo dying is one of the few anime deaths that shook the world 😭😭Or is he just jealous 🤭

Omg a fellow monkey! Sugu's monkey cult is expanding- Ngl I would gladly be a monkey if it means I can get slightly closer to Suguru-

Also I've received your TOT req!! The bakerlon card is legit so cute ahhh 😫😫

-🪩

i… gave up🥲 seems like there’s no hope for me 😩 i’ll wait until next year then and save the s chips i get from the monthly pass for the upcoming events🤧

HAHAHAH the benefit is right there!!🤭 i love maxi’s progress though and YES I LOVE EDNA SO MUCH omg she’s so badass, takes care of her own shits and the plot twist is soooo omg i finished that manhwa on one night and was left sooo full😩 it was one of the best manhwas for me

hmm i think i’ve read quite many arranged marriage stories but suddenly i can’t think of any of them🥲 but another great manhwa i read is unholy blood! i love hayan sm she’s also badass and her romance with euntae drives me almost insane bcs of the slow burn🤧 but it’s so so great by the ending i was sad to let it go. have you read it?? and do you have any other recs?

so true! i honestly don’t think there’s any benefit for us to force ourselves to have a boyfriend/girlfriend that early (especially if they say it’s for the status—a classmate of mine once told me that she was dating this guy just to know how being in a relationship was like💀 she’s messed up) because in the end, we are looking for the real thing. the real thing doesn’t come easily, it takes time. fyi my current boyfriend is my first bf, we started dating just last year, which means i have my first bf at 23🥹 and i’m so glad i heed my mom then, that it’s no use to have boyfriends when you were still in high school or college as chances are they are still immature themselves.

but if you do find someone who is good in school, then it’s okay to try! just don’t be discouraged if you don’t because nah we need the true ones😉

(aw sorry to come off as lecturing i can’t stop myself but my mom’s advice is what saves me🥹 and i really do think it’s so good)

me too!! it’s rainy and cold nowadays *sigh* but at least it’s not as hot?🥹

THERES 🗣️ SOMETHING 🗣️ ABOUT 🗣️ ANGST 🗣️ that made me feel like i want to jump out of the window yet satisfied my inner soul at the same time🤧🤧🤧

HAHAHA i felt old bcs now i’m paying for my own bills and impulse buying😭 JSJSJS nono i watched naruto from eps 300 onwards actually🥹 still, that’s quite a lot 😭 but yeah, i could watch at least 5-10 eps per day back then 🥲

PFFT DADDIES so true 😔😔 *sigh* my life has never been the same ever since that gojo sukuna fight. i started looking for spoilers (i didn’t follow the manga before), installed twitter and reading theories. my heart used to be thumping so hard each time i went over the spoilers you know? like i know gojo was going to lose somehow but i hope so much he didn’t and then when chapter 235 dropped and gege took a break i was like “!!!!” only to 236 to reverse it in the most brutal way💀

ahh i see… i’m starting to think that aot is for boys😭 like most of my guy friends are like “this is the best anime of my life” while my girl friends are just bamboozled with everything🥹

he’s mourning and coping the way we do for our jjk daddies🤭🤭 save to say that karma gets him bcs he doesn’t follow the manga HAHAHA maybe both i don’t know but he gets 🙄🙄 when i swoon over gojo ahahhaha

oh? good luck on your exam disco anon!! i know you’ll do well!!🫶🏻

HAHAHAHAH OMG that’s the term he used too!!🤣 like he’s okay being suguru’s monkey just because🥹

waah! that’s good then!! the card is so CHIC but i haven’t gotten the chance to read it yet along with the side story card🥲🥲🥲 i will after this weekend i think bcs work has been so tiring *sigh*

#this is sooo long im so sorry but i really love talking to you sjsjsjjs #—chu’s mailbox 📬 #💌: 🪩

[onyxino]

Jealousy: Levi x Reader

Cw: None, well maybe, reader and Levi making out a lil bit?? Reader and Petra also make out kinda??  MDNI tho bc I don’t want your baby asses on my tumblr, I will block u, go play Fortnite.

Word Count: 1k

Being placed in the Special Operations Squad wasn't all intense training and serious situations.

Sometimes it was lighthearted and happy especially when you and Petra had an opportunity to mess with Oluo.

It was super obvious that the man was head over heels in love with Petra. He showed it in the weirdest ways, such as: trying so hard to be a knock-off copy of Captain Levi the man Petra was head over heels for.

-

"C'mon, Petra, Oluo is absolutely smitten." You say a goofy grin painted on your face.

"Oh no, not at all, he's just a stupid guy, who thinks he's all that" She protested.

"I don't know, Pet." You pause "He just acts a certain typa' stupid around you."

"I mean you're right...." Petra said resting her head in her hand.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" You stand from the table and exclaim a little too loud for it being three in the morning.

"Oh? What is it?" Petra askes hastily.

"Okay so, we'll put this theory to the test!" You say proudly "I'll act like your girlfriend all day tomorrow and see how he reacts."

Petra immediately blushes, like fire spreading across her cheeks.

"You actually cannot be serious right now." The ginger replies sheepishly.

"Oh but I am!" You reply a devilish smirk playing on your lips, "Everyone thinks we shack up anyway!"

"They do?!" Panic coating Petra's reply.

"Nah, but I mean we are extremely close...and there was that one time where we made out after drinking a whole bottle of wine..." You say scratching the back of your head.

"Okay I'm in." Petra agreed.

--

The next day rolled around and as perusal You and Petra were glued to the hip as you two helped continue the cleaning efforts on the temporary HQ.

But this time you two were a little more touchy with each other.

This did not go unnoticed not by just Oluo but the raven haired man standing not too far away on the other side of the yard.

"What the hell is goin' on with you two?" Oluo came over hands on his hips nose in the air "You two are all over one another!"

"Oh? Are we?" Petra questioned turning to you.

"I guess we are." you say back "Though that does make sense considering, she's my girlfirend."

Oluo nearly bit his tongue off.

The shorter man not too far away almost faltered and dropped his rake.

"What!? When did this happen!?" He half yelled.

"It's always been." Petra bluntly stated.

The ravennette with his back turned to you guys, over hearing  everything knitted his brows together in confusion. "sense when?" He thought to himself.

"You two gotta' be pullin' my leg!" Oluo exclaimed shocked laced in his voice.

"Nope." you giggled "She's all mine." you confirmed leaning over to the ginger and sliding an arm around her waist.

Levi stopped all motion and slightly turned in order to see the actions taking place, he felt a slight pang of jealously in his chest as he turned just in time to see Petra and you locking lips.

"What in the holly hell?" He questioned face contorting in confusion.

Although seeing the two women locking lips like that sent heat straight to his crotch, it also made his blood boil with rage. That however, was an issue for a different time, currently the woman he had sought after was holding and kissing someone that wasn't him.

He knew he was thinking crazy, you weren't in anyway his...but deep down this feeling he couldn't shake was getting stronger.

Oluo had about fainted at this point and you and Petra were giggling uncontrollably.

--

Later that night, you seemed to be the only one left awake, finishing toweling off the last of the dinner dishes and carefully setting it in the cupboard before quietly closing the door.

You turned on your heels and were confronted by your captain standing less than 3 feet from you.

He dawned his night clothes, empty tea cup in hand.

"Evening, Captain." you greet with a smile.

The captain said nothing and just kind of stared at you, you could practically see the gears turning behind his eyes.

"Tch, I had no clue you were into women." He stated bluntly.

Your face contorted visibly, you were very confused and shocked at the sudden statement then it dawned on you, this was about earlier.

"OOOOH!" You exclaimed waving your hands in front of your chest in defense, "It's really not what you think, Levi."

"Then what is it like?" He asked.

"Me and Petra aren't a thing, we were trying to get at Oluo, who is obviously whipped." You explained scratching the back of your head.

The knot made of pure jealously and anger had faded in Levi's chest, he exhaled.

"So, you're telling me.." he cocked an eyebrow "That you and Petra made out in front of everyone this morning to screw with Oluo?"

"And it worked too!" You exclaim proudly, "Man's been screwed up sense, and he had a nosebleed for like an hour after."

"Tch." Was all he muttered.

"Oh why? Was little Levi jealous that I got to lock lips with Petra before he did?" You teased.

Levi tightened his grip on his teacup if he had squeezed any harder the porcelain vessel would have shattered.

"You're an idiot." He muttered.

"Oh c'mon, it was a joke!" You rolled your eyes and that gesture only proceeded to piss him off more. In one swift movement Levi placed the dainty teacup on the counter and had you pinned against it.

He shoved his lips aggressively into yours. You gripped his shirt tightly as the kiss deepened and he slid his tongue across her bottom lip.

Not asking but demanding entrance.

You complied and allowed his tongue which tasted of black tea and peppermint explore your mouth.

You both fought for dominance, but in the end you relinquished all control to your captain. Your grip on his shirt only tightened as he slid a hand down cupping your back side pressing both of your bodies closer together.

A grunt emitted from Levi's throat as you bit gently on his lower lip. The need for air soon became apparent and you both pulled away from one another gasping and panting.

Your cheeks rosy red, gaping at him, your knuckles turning white as you continued to hold a death grip on Levi's white night shirt.

"I wasn't jealous of you, brat." He spat " I was jealous of Petra."

#levi ackerman #Captain Levi #snk levi #levi x y/n #levi x you #attack on titan levi #shingeki no kyoujin levi #snk x y/n #snk fandom #snk #levi #AoT #aot fandom #aot manga #aot oneshots #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader

[infranu]

(03) ᎒ ➜ iHOP YOU 🧇

He knocked for a third time refusing to leave until the door was opened. After spending over 49 dollars on ihop breakfast for you and him he wasn’t going to just leave it there.

Luckily to his situation Sasha was just about leaving the dorm room when she saw Jean outside. She opened the door and looked at him with a questioning expression. “Jean boy! What a surprise!!What are you doing here? She smiled at him “I ca-”

“Actually nvm I’m running late to breakfast with Connie!! See you later, Y/n is in her room btw!” She cut him off pushing him a little aside so she could move.

“Rude much?” Jean sighted knowing how Sasha was not bothering to enter the room he scanned the place for his girlfriends door. He closed the front door and made his way to the bright white door with a “Bury Me At Makeout Creek” poster hanging from the outside. He laughed knowing how much you loved Mitskis music.

You were startled when the door suddenly opened, since you had your headphones on you couldn’t hear anything. Sasha had already left like not even 5 minutes ago so who was it? Freaked out you turned around just to see Jean with an ihop bag on one hand and the other resting on your doors doorknob.

“You scared me!” you let out a sigh turning back to your desk, “Pfft, sorry you didn’t answer when I knocked and trust me, I’m tired of knocking now”

“Please don’t tell me to were stuck at the front door bc we weren’t answering” you looked at him guilty but also trying to contain a laugh “Yes I actually was” Jean replied with a dramatic expression

“Oh I’m so sorry sugar cube, the love of my life, my other half, my-” You were cut off when he shoved a waffle in your mouth “I love you but never say that again” giving you a concerned look

You laughed it off and thanked him for the breakfast, “I thought you would join Mikasa, Eren and Armin for breakfast or Connie and Sasha”

“Nah, it’s too early to deal with them, too much energy” he answered taking a seat in the edge of your bed with his breakfast in hand. You laughed at his comment “Yeah, you’re right” A small silent moment passed by.

“iHop you” you said randomly “what?” He laughed “iHop you” you repeated once again “what do you mean by that?” he laughed knowing damn well what he meant with that “jean istg..” You turned around with a sigh

“You done with your essay yet?” Jean broke the silence “not yet, I have like one more page after this” you sighted looking back at the papers scattered on your desk “Let me help you im good at Hanges class” You brightly agreed thanking him

Jean currently was now sitting on your chair writing while you sat there thinking “I could never ask for a better boyfriend! Just look at him” blinking your fake tears away. Truly, ever since you met Jean it had been different, he loved you and you loved him. The relationship you had with him was different from other ones you had.

And you know what was even better? HES A MOMMAS BOY!! How sweet is that? When you got to meet the beautiful woman who gave birth to such a guy you immediately pledged to give your life for her. But seriously, she was so sweet and kind who would ever dare to dislike such a woman like her?

Asides from that, Jean truly was a boy from another world. “I’m done, here” He looked back at you, seeing how mesmerizing you looked with your room lights shining on you “why are you starting at me like that?” He smiled

“Can I not admire the love of my life” you smiled teasingly knowing he cringed at the words. “I hate you” he looked away with a blush which was of course noticed by you “I love you too”

You finished stapling your papers together ready to head to your campus. “Okay let’s go now” you smiled at your boyfriend who was waiting for you.

You took his hand, closed the door and began to head outside. “We should do this more often” you said to him “as long as you pay” he replied back as a joke.

“Hahaha, oh I know! Let’s have a date!” You turned to him brightly “its Monday..” he looked at you with a “are you serious” but funny expression “not today! like maybe on Friday? I mean, we haven’t had one in a while I can pay this time.” You said as you entered the building with him

“Sounds good, I’ll pick you up and decide from there where to go” He said before kissing you on the cheek “I’ll see you later beautiful”

“Pfft, okay! See you” you parted ways and entered your class with a smile, Jean seriously was one of a kind.

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

a/n — mel posted another chapter?? ON A MONDAY?? WHAT?? 🙀 I was feeling energized and was bored and had an amazing day without school today so <33 I HOPE YOU ENJOY!! (Probably has spelling mistakes 🙁)

(12/50) 🏷 ᎒ ➜ @lobotomy-lover @m1kotsu @kimigiri09 @kaeyvelle @slytherwin @ccorgiorgi @yeagerfushiguro @eremikaflower @atz-diary @atsuphilia @idkkirstein @brrr-23-bxtch

#infranu #📓— works #✉️ — ​first love/late spring #jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #aot jean #jean smau #jean kirschtein angst #aot smau #aot angst #aot x reader

[stolenslumber]

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (preview)

Jay needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend, and you're just the person for the job— seriously, you're almost a professional at this point, regularly charming the families of your idiot twin's friends who need your help getting their parents off their back. You have strict rules, though: (1) you'll only pretend to be someone's girlfriend on three occasions, maximum, (2) nobody is allowed to catch feelings, and (3) you get three favors in return. Too bad Jay is hellbent on breaking every last one of them.

PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader GENRE: fake dating, college au, vaguely greek life au, vaguely rich kid au, acquaintances to partners in crime to fake relationship to lovers i guess? lol, jake is your twin bc i thought it would be funny WARNINGS: swearing, (eventual) kissing and suggestive content WORD COUNT: ~2.3k (preview), final word count TBD but likely long knowing myself PUBLISH DATE: probably in the next two weeks!

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO NICE?” 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” You scoff, tossing the apple you were just about to eat at Jake’s head. Annoyingly, he catches it in mid-air, then makes a show out of polishing it with his shirt and taking a big bite out of it. “Hey, I was going to eat that, asshole.”

“Shouldn’t have thrown it at me, then.”

You roll your eyes at your twin, then go to retrieve another apple from the fruit bowl. It’s surprisingly well-stocked, given that you’re in a frat’s kitchen. Honestly, it’s surprising that there even is a fruit bowl in a frat’s kitchen, but the president of this frat runs a tight ship.

Said president appears in the doorway just then, snatching the apple from your hands as well as the one from Jake’s hands. “Guys, seriously, you have to wash these before you eat them.”

You and Jake both whine simultaneously. “Chan!”

“I already took a bite out of that, bro,” Jake complains.

“I’m starving, please have mercy,” you beg.

Chan whips his head around from where he’d begun washing the apples in the sink to fuss at you. “What? Why haven’t you eaten yet? It’s almost 9pm!”

“Which reminds me— why do you look so nice?” Jake repeats.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you sigh.

“You can just say you were pretending to be his girlfriend; we all know what you mean,” Jake snorts.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you repeat, resisting the urge to throw another apple at Jake’s head. “It was at this ballroom downtown, and of course he had nothing to wear, so I had to take him shopping first, which made us late, and then his parents wouldn’t stop talking my ear off about how I need to convince him to give up the music major, so I couldn’t touch any of the food there. Not even the foie gras torchon,” you recall mournfully. “We just got back, like, five minutes ago.”

Chan hums sympathetically— he knows how much you love foie gras torchon. “You can probably ask for an endless supply in return for your appearance at today’s thing,” he suggests, only half-joking. It absolutely sounds like the kind of thing Mark Lee would agree to, what with his ridiculously large inheritance and hapless generosity (last month, Mark lost thousands of dollars in some animal shelter-related pyramid scheme, marketed to him by none other than Haechan Lee).

You wave a hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m keeping Mark’s favor for something else.”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “What else?”

“Whatever it turns out I need in the future, dumbass. What’s it to you, anyways?”

“Just wanna make sure the poor guy doesn’t end up trapped in your snares forever, little sis. Yo, can I have that apple back?” Jake turns to Chan with characteristic puppy eyes.

“You’re only older than me by eight minutes,” you grumble, the age-old retort slipping out of you before you can help it.

“No, Jaeyun, you cannot. And don’t talk to your sister like that— oh my god, why do I sound like Taeyong,” Chan mutters, thinking about his predecessor frat-president-slash-mother-hen.

“Jeez, government name and everything.” Jake holds his hands up, relinquishing his claim to the apple.

“In fact, your sister gets to have both of these apples, after I clean and cut them up, because she is a saint for continuing to save our asses from our parents like this,” Chan lectures, unceremoniously carving out the chunk of the apple with Jake’s bite marks and tossing it into the trash bin.

“Real ones get it!” You reach out and high-five Chan.

“That is so unfair, c’mon, man!” Jake splutters. “She gets just as much out of these fake relationships— seriously, didn’t you drive her around everywhere for, like, a month after she went to that wedding with you?”

Both you and Chan shudder at the memory. “Ugh, my worst cousin and the worst guy he was ever with. They’re still married, by the way.” Chan shakes his head. “God knows why.”

“Love conquers all…?” Jake offers.

“What the hell are you talking about love for,” a new voice grumbles. Jay strolls in through the doorway, hands full with plastic bags promising wonderful things based on how your stomach reacts to the smell.

“Oh, hell yeah, chicken!” Jake cheers. “Took you long enough, bro.”

“Traffic was hell, something about a ball downtown, and— oh. Hey.” Jay stops abruptly at the sight of you, now munching on the apple slices Chan hands you, one by one.

You wave vaguely in his direction, too busy eating to respond. Jay is one of your brother’s friends who you don’t know that well, since you’ve never pretended to be his girlfriend. It’s strange that you two don’t know each other better, actually— as the social chairs of your sorority and his fraternity, respectively, you would usually have a lot to work on together. But this year has been particularly busy for you, what with your senior thesis and your various things with Jake’s frat brothers, and you had delegated most of your social chair responsibilities to your co-chair, Yunjin, who was far better suited to the social part of the job, anyways. You suspected Jay had done the same thing, since the two of you only ever texted to confirm budgets for any joint events.

“You need to have more than one-and-three-quarters of an apple for dinner,” Chan scolds you, parental instincts back in full force.

You shrug, about to turn around and rifle through the cabinets to see if you can find some peanut butter to add to your apple slices when a takeout container appears in front of you. Tired and still starving, you react rather slowly, your eyes tracing up the hand on the container to the veins of an arm belonging to none other than Jay.

“You look hungry,” is all he says, before popping the container open for you and rearranging the rest of the plastic bags on the counter. “Jake, tell the others to come down for food.”

The others means that soon, there will be an influx of hungry frat brothers in the kitchen, and you have no desire to be anywhere near that, so you mumble a quick thank you to Jay, plop the rest of the apple slices into the takeout container (against Chan’s complaints about the contamination), and move to leave the kitchen, eager to be on your way to your sorority house.

The last thing you overhear before you leave is Jay asking, “Why did your sister look so nice?”, and Jake and Chan responding in unison, “She had a thing.”

A few days later, when they’re doing work in the library, Jay asks Jake, “So how long have Mark and your sister been seeing each other?”

Jake’s pencil jerks across his graph paper, a jagged line appearing on the page at the same time that he swears. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Dude, what the fuck,” Jay echoes flatly. “Didn’t you say she had a thing with Mark?”

Jake blinks. “Well, sure, in the same way that she’s had a thing with Chan, and Yeonjun, and Vernon, and all the others.”

Jay gapes at him. “Your sister dated all of them? And all the others?”

“What, no, she didn’t date them, she fake-dated them! Just a couple of times, mainly showing up to things with their families so their parents would leave them alone about finding a partner and all that. You know how the parents are.” Jake gestures vaguely, referring to the oddities of the world of wealth they were born into.

Jay nods slowly, understanding dawning upon him. Does he know how the parents are? Oh, does he ever. He has always had a good relationship with his own, but they had been more pushy on the whole love thing as of late, with the not-at-all subtle questions his mother asks about any special someones in his life and the unfunny jokes his dad cracks about how he’s still spry enough to help raise grandchildren. Especially unfunny, given the health scare his dad had given them all in the last year.

Jake’s voice brings him out of his veering-towards-morbid thoughts. “But seriously, bro, how is this news to you? My sister’s been doing this… Cinderella-genie thing for over two years now.”

Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Cinderella-genie thing?”

“Yeah, I mean, she transforms our frat brothers into respectable young men with a respectable relationship, but only for three occasions, and she gets the same number of favors back.” Jake wrinkles his nose. “It sounds weird when I say it like that, and don’t get me wrong, I love to give her shit for it, but it’s all above-board stuff. Sunghoon bought her bubble tea for like, three months.”

“She fake-dated Sunghoon?”

At the mention of his name, Sunghoon pops one side of his headphones off. “What’s up?”

“You fake-dated Jake’s sister!?”

Sunghoon shushes him before responding. “Yeah, don’t you remember? It was a couple of months ago.”

Jay’s ears flush, both at how loud he had unconsciously gotten, and at the reminder that he really has been out of it for a while now. It’s not like he’s been living under a rock, but he has definitely been spending a lot more time with his parents and away from his friends ever since his dad’s health scare.

“She was great, though,” Sunghoon continues. “My mom still thinks I made the biggest mistake of my life ‘letting her go.’ But she’s also been leaving me alone about ‘finding love’ because she thinks I’m heartbroken, so yeah, Jake’s sister works wonders.”

Jake smirks. “Sim genes, man. Elite stuff.”

Sunghoon scoffs. “You wish. Didn’t I hear your mom yelling at you on the phone the other day for not having settled down yet?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Does she not realize what decade this is, I mean, we’re still in college—”

Jay interrupts what looks to be the beginning of a long rant from Jake, cutting him off with, “So where can I sign up?”

Jake stares blankly at him. “Sign up for what?”

“The Cinderella-genie thing.”

Sunghoon scrunches his face awkwardly. “Uh, she kind of has a waitlist, buddy.”

Jay waits for him to laugh and say he’s just kidding, but he doesn’t. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, she doesn’t do the fake-dating thing for multiple people at the same time, and she’s pretty busy with all her shit, so I’m not sure how long of a queue you have ahead of you…”

“Okay, but Jake could get me ahead, right? Cut the line, or something? C’mon dude, I’m your best friend.” Jay is suddenly desperate, remembering the conversation he’d had with his mom on the phone last night, where she had dreamily recalled meeting his dad in college and delicately reminded Jay that he could have a plus-one to the Parks’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

Jake eyes his friend warily. “I dunno, she really doesn’t like stuff like that. Unfair advantages, I mean.”

“My parents aren’t getting any younger, Jake, and you know, with my dad last year and everything…” Jay does his best approximation of batting his eyelashes at Jake.

“Are you guilt-tripping me?”

“A little?” Jay’s smile turns a little maniacal. “For real, my parents have their 50th wedding anniversary coming up, and it would be the perfect event to bring her to so I can reassure them that things are going well in my love life.”

“Are things going anywhere in your love life?” Sunghoon’s tone is skeptical, and reasonably so.

Jay has been distant lately because of his family, but even before that he had always been known as somewhat aloof and unattainable. Devastatingly handsome, yes, with killer grades and fierce ambition, and a business empire to inherit to boot, but he is also his parents’ one and only miracle child, born after years of trying and almost giving up. Jay’s parents are older than all of his friends’ parents, and their family business has always been that— a family business. Jay has two years after graduation to learn the ropes in the business, and then he’ll be due for an MBA, and then a return to helm the business, but this timeline has recently felt more urgent than ever with his parents’ flagging health. They would never say it, but he knows the only reason they haven’t retired yet is because they don’t want to hand over control of the business to anyone but him. Jay has worked his ass off in college, trying to get there as fast as he can, as well as he can. But his parents also want him to enjoy college and find true love, and while he’s been doing pretty well with the former, the latter has been on the backburner for, well, forever. Who has time for true love, in between classes, fraternity duties, the various shenanigans his friends get up to, internships, networking, TA-ing, volunteering, being on the executive board of two clubs, and eating, sleeping, dreaming, and thinking?

So. No. Things are not going anywhere in his love life, and he confirms just as much to Sunghoon with a grunt, to which Sunghoon wheezes out his amusement.

Jake eyes Jay with pity, now. “Alright, that guilt trip was successful, but more so because you just admitted to being bitchless for so long. I’ll put in a good word to my sister for you.”

Jay perks up instantly. There is light and beauty in this world after all! “Awesome, thank you bro, you won’t regret this, I promise!”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but those are famous last words, Park.” Jake raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you can handle my sister?”

“Why not? She seems… nice.” Jay is slightly evasive in his answer, and truthfully, it’s because he isn’t really sure what you’re like. All your interactions to date have been cordial, almost business-like, and you and Jake are fraternal twins, so it’s not even like he’s really familiar with what you look like. He is, however, sure that you look beautiful in a ballgown, even if he only saw you in one in his frat’s kitchen.

Jake chortles outright. “No, my sister is not nice. Yeah, I’m definitely going to convince her to help you, just because I think it’ll be hysterical watching her turn you inside out. Good luck, my brother in Christ, because you’ll need it!”

#enhypen #jay #park jay #park jongseong #jay x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen fic #jay fic #uhhhh idk what else to tag here it's been so long since i wrote anything on tumblr dot com #title has absolutely nothing to do w/ the song and it barely has anything to do w/ the plot tbh i just like the way it sounds #who would've thought i'd be back on tumblr... writing fics.......... in the year 2023 #and for READER INSERTS TOO this is a new uhmmmm situation for me #tbh i'd much rather write ocs but that seems to be Not The Vibe on kpopblr so here we are #okay i know the ages of the people in this fic don't line up but shhhh just ignore it okay #i know next to nothing about skz but when i was thinking about who would make sense as a mothering frat president chan just made sense #based on my limited knowledge yknow #okay anyways! cool lmk what u think of this preview #ss.preview

[altsvu]

a little jealous, i suppose?

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!female!reader

wc: 2.8k

summary: after being called in for a case in the middle of a romantic date, you and hotch have to talk to the lieutenant on the case, but they end up flirting with you at the same time. hotch gets a little jealous and proves it when you and him get back to the hotel room.

tw: sex talk, A SHIT TON OF SMUT, some fluff, swearing.

a/n: this is a long one lovelies! i had so much fun writing this! jealous hotch can be a bit naughty... but this is my first (completed) smut fic with hotch and i hope it doesn’t sound super weird or whatever bc i lowkey suck at smut

criminal minds masterlist! ✯ taglist! ✯ text messages!

✯✯✯✯

You and Hotch had been dating for almost a year and a half now. Upon dating, the two of you had decided that it was best to not say anything to the rest of the team. Although you wanted everything to be kept under wraps, everyone wanted the two of you to be together though, and they picked up on the many interactions that you exchanged with each other. It had been easy to keep the relationship a secret, or at least the idea of either you or Hotch being in a romantic relationship, until now when you came into the BAU floor wearing a revealing dress and a full face of makeup.

“Well, well, well,” Morgan whistled. “Looks like someone’s going on a date.”

“Shut up Morgan, you’re just jealous it’s not with you.” you laughed. “I am not jealous at all. You do look really good though.” he responded, in which you blew him a kiss.

“You look so beautiful! Your date is definitely gonna fall head over heels for you.” JJ squealed, coming up to give you a hug. You knew exactly who she was talking about. Hotch. She was the only person you were able to confide in about your relationship with him even though you had practically become best friends with everyone on the team. “Thank you JJ.” you smiled.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Reid asked.

“Or girl?” Penelope said.

You looked for some of your items from your desk, trying to avoid the team’s burning questions. “All I can say is that he’s... definitely older.”

“Well, you know what they say, the older the wiser.” Emily suggested.

“Yes, this man is very wise.” you replied, putting your badge and gun in your purse. Little did everyone know that they were talking highly of Hotch.

Rossi came out of his office. “Well, you’re not going on a date with me.”

“Unfortunately-“ you frowned, then paused mid sentence when your phone rang. You pulled it out and broke away from the group to make sure they couldn’t see the name.

“Sweetheart, you know I can’t wait to see how beautiful you look.” Hotch mused. You could tell he had a smile on his face. “Well babe, lucky for you, I’m about to leave. See you in 5 okay?” You replied.

“Of course.”

You hung up and dropped your phone in your bag, grabbing your coat. “Alright everyone, I’m off. Don’t miss me too much, I’m a big girl, I’ll be okay.”

“Walk you to the elevator?” JJ asked. You nodded sincerely. You then said your goodbyes to everyone and walked out with JJ.

“He’s lucky to be with a woman like you.”

“Yeah, I like to think that. I’m just glad he doesn’t treat me like a child, ya know. I may be the youngest here, but when we’re alone, everything’s just different.”

JJ lifted an eyebrow. “Ohhhh, I see.”

You playfully smacked her on the shoulder as the elevator door opened. “Girl stop. It’s more than that.” You walked into the elevator, blowing a kiss at JJ.

“Have fun!”

✯✯✯✯

“You look absolutely amazing, did I tell you that already?” Hotch complimented as you got out of the car.

“Yes you have, about 5 times already, but I appreciate the compliments. You look quite handsome yourself, Aaron.”

“Thank you, my love.” he said, kissing you on the lips.

The two of you went inside the restaurant and followed the waiter to the reserved table, which had seating next to each other instead of across and the environment was pretty chill since there weren’t a lot of people inside, so it felt even more romantic. It gave you more freedom to perform many forms of PDA, which was something that Hotch wanted to experiment more with.

“So... everyone on the BAU floor is questioning who I’m dating,” you started. Hotch looked up at you mid bite. “Really? What’d you say?”

“I’m dating an older man who’s very wise.”

Hotch sneaked an arm around your waist. “I’m glad that you think I’m wise.”

“I can think of a lot more.” you whispered. You then crept your hand up to the nape of Hotch’s neck and pulled him closer to you, planting a passionate kiss on his lips.

“Mmm, I know what I’m gonna do to you when we get home.” Hotch murmured into your ear after kissing you back. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’re gonna be shaking when you walk into the BAU tomorrow.” His fingers tickled your bare skin, and you hoped you weren’t getting an orgasm from his touch.

“Oh what a naughty, wise man you are.” you mused, taking the opportunity to kiss and nibble on the soft skin that was Hotch’s neck. You sucked on it hard, leaving a dark red mark.

You went back to enjoying your meal and chatting when you were interrupted by a phone call.

“It’s Garcia.” Hotch whispered. He then proceeded to answer the phone. When he got off the phone with her, he looked disappointed. “What is it?” you asked.

“We’re being called in.”

“Fuck.” you muttered under your breath, hearing your phone ring too.

Hotch took your face in his hands. “It’s okay. We can finish date night another night.”

✯✯✯✯

You had texted JJ that you would be meeting them on the plane to avoid suspicions from the rest of the team and you would be briefed when you arrived. JJ had grabbed your go bag for you as well.

“Y/N, how was your date?” Emily asked.

It was tempting to smile and look at Hotch but you were able not to. “Despite it being cut short, it was amazing. We had... plans after dinner.”

“Oooo, risqué.” Morgan cocked his head to the side. You pinched his cheek and collapsed in one of the chairs, wanting to sleep. In a way, you were a bit upset that you and Hotch had to be called away from your date, you seriously wanted him to be all over you, kissing you, sucking on your skin, massaging your forbidden spots.

“Very. Where are we headed?”

The rest of the team then briefed you on the case and when you landed, you’d have to go with Hotch to talk with the lieutenant that was the lead on the case and set up at the field office.

While you were looking through your copy of the case file, you got a text from Hotch.

SSA Hotchner BAU ❤️: That hickey on my neck won’t be going away for a while, Rossi’s already asking about it

SSA Hotchner BAU ❤️: he thinks i had “a little rendezvous” before being called in.

You stifled a laugh.

You: well... you did. With me of course

You: Keep him wondering, I’ll give you more in our hotel room 😘 and i’m also holding you to that promise

SSA Hotchner BAU ❤️: the things i want to do to you... i wouldn’t even be able to count

You bit your finger and looked out the window, wanting the day to go by fast. Hotch was sitting across from you, so he looked up at you for a slight second with a grin on his face, which caught your attention quickly. He gave you a wink and looked back down. Moments later, the jet was arriving at the team’s destination and you were eager to just change out of your date night clothes.

“Do we have time for me to stop by the hotel we’re staying in?” you whispered to JJ while getting off the plane.

“My beloved friend, we’re on a time crunch.” JJ started. “But, I’ll let you come with me to get the keys for our rooms.”

You sighed in relief and smiled a thank you.

✯✯✯✯

“I kinda wished you didn’t have to change out of that dress.” Hotch admitted. You side eyed him, knowing that he was joking. That was until you turned to look at him and he was staring at you, examining you almost. “Me too,” you smiled, turning to look at him. “But obviously that would be super inappropriate.”

“Well of course it would be.” Hotch growled, pulling you closer to him.

“There’s cameras,” you hissed.

“Good.” One of his hands grabbed your ass and you let out a gasp. Clearly Hotch did not care whatsoever about the cameras, all he cared about was you, and how amazing you looked in front of him. That, and closing this current case as soon as possible. He took your face in his hands and kissed your lips ever so passionately, stopping just in time for the elevator door to open. As you were approaching the lieutenant, you straightened your shirt in hopes that he wouldn’t think that anything suspicious was going on.

“Lieutenant Baker, I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner and this is SSA Y/N .” Hotch said, shaking hands with Baker. When he got to you, a smile creeped up on his face and he lingered a bit after shaking your hand. A bit odd, you thought. “Thank you for coming,” he finally replied. “These suspicious murders have been going on for too long and I’d like to put an end to them as much as you do.”

“And that’s why we’re here.” Hotch agreed. “Is there a place for us to settle?” He led you and Hotch to a conference room with an evidence board, and as you were walking, you felt a familiar hand on your back, creeping to your waist. Goddammit Hotch. You glared at him to stop before he got caught and he only looked back at you with a smile on his face.

The rest of the time in the field office wasn’t bad, but you had a very huge feeling that the lieutenant was trying to make some moves on you.

It’s not like you weren’t used to this, men just found you super attractive. But you only found one man that was attractive.

Aaron Hotchner.

“Hey.” you turned around to find the lieutenant standing next to you. “Is there anything that I can help you with?”

“Nah, just putting these pictures and visuals up. Hotch and I are gonna review the case files until the family comes in to talk to us.”

“Ok, that sounds good.”

You noticed that Baker was still standing in your vicinity. “Is there something that you need from me, Lieutenant?”

“No, not at all. Let me know if you need anything from me, I’ll be trying to round up some potential witnesses.” Baker said, squeezing and rubbing your forearm for a moment and walking away to his office. He had a side grin on his face.

You, on the other hand, stood in your spot truly dumbfounded. Your mouth slightly gaped, you turned and watched Baker walk away. Suddenly your eyes made their way to Hotch, who was looking at you across the room, a grin also on his face.

“What was that about? He ask you if you were dating anyone?”

You rolled your eyes and finished putting up the map for Reid to use later. “Please, no.” Hotch was then standing by your side, leaning against the wall beside the evidence board.

“That wasn’t just any touch there.”

“Yeah well, it didn’t mean anything to me. Did you forget that I love you or something?”

Hotch pulled you into a kiss. “Of course not.”

“Good,” you whispered. “Then what’s the issue? A little jealous, I suppose?” You put emphasis on jealous.

“Agents? The victim’s mother is here.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Hotch replied. He turned back to you. “We’ll talk later.”

✯✯✯✯

It was nearing the end of the day, and everyone was tired. It was only the team’s first day in a small Nevada town, but a lot was accomplished.

Riding in the car with Derek, Emily, and JJ back to the hotel room, you let the breeze flow through your body. Nervousness washed over you as you thought about the morning upon arriving at the field office.

Hotch always had underlying meanings to even the simplest things he would say, which is why you couldn’t stop wondering if he was the slightest bit upset at the lieutenant for advancing on you, the person he loved with all his heart.

“Hey.” JJ poked at your arm. “What’s going on? Trouble in paradise?”

You smiled a bit. “No, uh, I guess there was a bit of tension since the lieutenant was flirting with me.”

“He was actually good looking, I think he’d be a great match for you.” Emily suggested, turning around.

“Y/N does attract almost every male species.” Derek commented.

“Guys, stop, I’m just... not interested in him.” You said simply, turning back to the window. The only thing running to your head was what Hotch had planned for tonight.

When you got to the hotel room, you found things the way they were, only Hotch’s go bag next to yours. You pulled out your robe and shower essentials from your go bag - you hated using hotel soap - and started to strip. When Hotch came out of the bathroom, you were only in your underwear, slipping on your robe, and he was only in a towel.

“You didn’t say when you came in.” Hotch whispered, planting a small kiss on your head.

“I know, I didn’t wanna bother you. I’m gonna shower quickly okay?” He nodded and you then went in the bathroom. When you were done, Hotch was in bed wearing a white shirt and grey boxer shorts. God, he looked so hot.

“What conversation did you want to have earlier?” You asked, wrapping your robe around a bit tighter.

Hotch gestured to you to lay next to him. “You know how I get when it comes to people flirting with you.”

“Yeah, you go feral. Internally, of course.” You paused. “Wait. Is Aaron Hotchner... mad?”

His hand snuck inside your robe, trailing up to your chest, cupping your right breast, sending chilling shockwaves to the rest of your body.

“Let’s just say I wanna show you that you belong to me.”

Oh, Hotch was jealous alright.

You turned to face him and that’s when he worked his magic. One side of your robe slipped off, and next thing you knew, he was teasing your clit, making you wet. Your shallow breaths and whimpers filled the emptiness of the room. He continued teasing you for a bit, then you watched as he pulled out his cock, stroking it a bit while staring at you dead in your eyes. You knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to make sure you knew he was the one in control, and that he would do anything to get off on your pleasure.

He made extra sure of it when he started cockwarming you.

Oh fuck you Aaron, you said in your head as small whimpers escaped your mouth.

“Yeah, you like when I do that to you?” Hotch- well Aaron, asked roughly. “You like feeling my cock inside you, don’t you?”

He was enjoying the sight of you, close to him, almost orgasming on the spot. But he wasn’t gonna let you get off that easily.

“What’s wrong, my sweet girl? Hmm?”

“I- I need you, Aaron,” was all you could croak out.

Aaron shifted on top of you and you curled your legs around him.

“Sweetheart, you’re gonna have to speak up for me to give you what you want.” Aaron teased, taking of his shirt.

“I need you Aaron,” you repeated a bit louder.

Aaron smiled and thrusted hard and fast into you, in which he took no time. “Good girl.” He let out a fierce groan when he did so.

“Who makes you feel good?”

“You do,” you moaned. “You make me feel good Aaron.”

He kissed you fiercely in response with one of his hands gripping your neck and the other holding on to your leg. “God, you look so sexy under me, my sweet, sweet girl. You take me so well.”

He knew you wanted to come, your flushed face gave it away. But when you asked, ever so politely, he responded with a firm no.

“You don’t get to come until I do.”

“But Aaron, plea-“

“No.”

As he was going faster, you felt yourself nearing an orgasm, and all you wanted to do was melt under him.

He pulled out just after he reached his high and smashed his lips against your clit, stimulating you even more. When he finally let you come, it came on strong and heavy, and a loud, broken “Aaron” escaped your lips. You did not care whatsoever if two of the other team members in the next room heard you. Aaron on the other hand was enjoying every moment of it. “Oh, my sweet girl, you taste amazing.” he mused.

When he was done he collapsed next to you.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just... that was super hot.” you breathed, moving closer to him.

“It was. I think now you know who you belong to.” Aaron whispered, caressing your cheek.

“Much more than I did before.”

Aaron offered to clean you up, and after, the two of you slept soundly for the rest of the night.

✯✯✯✯

taglist: @averyhotchner @storiesofsvu @ssaic-jareau @blackbeautifulqueen @dr-omalley @morcias @mstrinnyb

#altsvu #altsvu oneshots #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch fic #hotchner x y/n #hotchner x you #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #cm #cm x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner fluff #fanfiction #cm fic #cm fanfic #criminal minds fandom #cm fanfiction #aaron hotchner x you #tw fluff #tw smut #hotch fluff #aaron hotch hotchner #hotch smut

[hajimine]

BETWEEN THE NOTES — SEMI EITA x GN!READER

synopsis: for as long as you can remember, you and Semi Eita have always hated each other—but a couple of tender glances and one too many bottles of beer later, you find out that maybe you were looking at it the wrong way this whole time.

genre: fluff, (kinda) enemies to lovers, musician!au, mutual pining but they’re both idiots, jealousy, etc.

warnings: alcohol + intoxication (nothing bad happens), slight suggestive themes, vulgar language, kinda fast paced?

wc: ~2.5k

to: @archivednikes happy birthday shawdy <3

special thanks to: @rintaroll for beta-ing & telling me a lil bit about how bands work and stuff bc idk shit lol :,)

“Semi, get your ass moving,” you huff. “You’re gonna make me late.”

He gives you a smug look and raises a slitted eyebrow. “Did something crawl up your ass and died? What’s up with you?”

You exhale heavily through your nose and stare at him, unimpressed.

“We gotta catch the afternoon train if you wanna reach the venue in time for our gig. This is a really good opportunity for me, don’t you dare mess it up.” you say, gathering the last of your things for the trip.

There is a tingling sensation crawling down your spine, as if someone is staring at you. You look over your shoulder curiously, opening your mouth to utter another snarky remark to get your partner to stop gawking around and get ready.

But the intensity behind his gaze caught you by surprise.

Those hazel eyes of his—ones that are usually sharp and cold—held a sort of softness in them as he looks at you. When you caught him staring, his gaze did not falter one bit.

You couldn’t stop your eyes from traveling down the perfect slope of his nose, continuing down to his pouty lips.

As much as you hate him, you can’t deny that Semi Eita is an attractive man. Heck, even the word attractive isn’t enough to express how infuriatingly hot he is.

Your gaze stays on his lips for a second too long. Have they always looked this soft and inviting?

The dry cough from the opposite side of the room is the only thing that managed to break you out of this trance. Semi Eita’s trance.

Your manager stands by the door, tapping her foot on the wooden tiles impatiently.

“Now, lovebirds,” she narrows her eyes, “Save the PDA for tonight, yeah? We’ve got a schedule to follow.”

You roll your eyes at her, cheeks uncomfortably warm. And just like that, the strange yet tender moment you shared with Semi dissipated into thin air.

。。。

You don’t know if you should take pity on the gray-haired singer or if you should laugh at him.

Currently, Semi’s head is bowed down in shame as he gets an earful from his manager in the middle of a crowded train.

You see, the four of you should’ve arrived at the venue by now. Both your managers are very strict about schedules, and they planned to arrive at the bar two hours before the agreed time.

Thankfully, his bandmates have been a little more punctual than him and have successfully boarded the 4pm train. But Mr. Popular right here just had to stop every few minutes to take pictures with every single fan he met on the way to the station.

“It’s half past five now,” his manager whisper-shouts, “Do you know what that means?”

Semi tries to give her an awkward smile to calm her down. It doesn’t work.

“It’s rush hour! What if we won’t reach the bar in time? It could ruin both your careers, do you know that?” she glares at Semi once again, but there is less bite in her voice now.

“I’m sorry,” Semi starts, plastering a charming smile on his face, “I only wanted to be nice to the fans. Wouldn’t make too good of an impression if I just ignored them, no?”

His manager sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, exasperated. She motions for Semi to stop talking with a wave of her hand.

The singer grins, and out of the corner of your eyes, you can sense his sharp gaze on you once more.

You try to ignore it.

。。。

When your group reaches the bar, Semi’s bandmates are almost done preparing themselves for the gig.

The bar is dimly lit and cool, the multitudes of warm overhead lighting being the only source of light in the room. It’s not too busy tonight, you observe. Some people still donned their work clothes, perhaps rushing over to the bar right after a long day at work—mingling around with friends to let loose for a little and enjoy themselves.

“Dude, where were you?” Aito asks, eyebrows turned downwards in a frown.

Semi pats the guitarist on the side of his head, “Relax, we’ve got plenty of time to prepare.”

Aito rolls his eyes, completely used to his bandmate’s antics.

“Whatever,” he huffs. “By the way, are we gonna have a little after party later?”

“Uh,” Semi’s eyes flicker towards you for one second, then back to Aito, “I dunno man, might be too tired to get wasted tonight.”

The guitarist narrows his eyes. He didn’t miss the way Semi’s gaze lingered on you.

“Y/N,” Aito smirks. “You coming to the after party?”

You were listening to their conversation this whole time, finding the whole exchange quite amusing.

“Eh, I don’t see why not,” you smile sweetly, “It’s gonna be even better now that this dude isn’t coming anyways.” You pointed your thumb at the vocalist.

From where he’s standing, you hear Semi scoff.

“Y’know what?” he sneers, “On second thought, I am going. How does that make you feel, huh?”

You shrug, feigning indifference.

“I literally do not care.”

“Piss off.”

Aito throws his head back in laughter, shaking his head as he walks away from the scene, muttering about people being too clueless and dense for their own damn good.

You adjusted your equipment bag on your shoulder, exhaling loudly to try and calm your heart down.

。。。

It is in moments like these that you remember why you decided to go forth with this career path, no matter how rocky it may be.

Adrenaline courses through your veins as you sing the lyrics of you and Semi’s song; every ounce of the jittery nerves you had just a few moments ago long gone.

There’s nobody else in this world that can ever take your place

Some of the customers are listening intently, others just nodding along to the song, and the rest not even listening at all.

You could hear your heartbeat thumping loudly against your chest, the sweat trickling down your forehead and into your eyes making it harder for you to see the crowd.

And when the day’s all done and dusted, all I ever need is to be in your arms again

You whip your head towards Semi, just like the countless times you rehearsed this song together.

“It shows chemistry,” your manager had said, “play it up for the crowd, will ya?”

The butterflies in your stomach flutters about restlessly when you notice that Semi has been looking at you this whole time.

His eyes—sharp and intense—held your gaze, unabashed. Steady. Sure.

Will you stay tonight? ‘Cause baby you’re all that I need, and you’re all that I want.

And in that moment, with your eyes locked on each other, the world seems to stop.

Nothing else matters, Semi’s lopsided smile says, only you.

。。。

The performance flew by in the blink of an eye, and it’s a little past midnight now. As promised, your managers held a little after party in the shared lounge of your penthouse suite.

It’s not as fancy as it sounds, you smile to yourself. There are suspicious stains on the gray carpet, and the furniture smells vaguely of cigarette smoke and sweat.

Bottles of beers have already littered the floor and glass table, and you haven’t even started drinking.

“Duuuude,” Yuuto slurs, “Why are ya so tense for?”

The bassist points at you and Semi, eyelids drooping as he tries his best to keep them open.

“C’mon guys,” Aito clasps his shoulders and massages them roughly, “Relax a little, we did amazing tonight.”

Semi shrugs his friend’s hands away, annoyed. He snatches an unopened bottle of beer from the cooler and opens the cap with his teeth.

You gulp. He hands you the bottle wordlessly before grabbing another one for himself, chugging it down quickly. You mirror his actions, hoping that the alcohol can dull the annoying fluttering in your stomach that refuses to leave ever since the two of you shared that intimate moment on stage.

For fuck’s sake, what’s going on with me?

Your trick works, in a way. Your stomach feels pleasantly warm now, and your breathing has finally evened out. Another unopened bottle of beer lays invitingly on the couch and you reach for it, opting for a bottle opener instead of doing it like Semi.

“Bro,” Yuuto grins at the singer, drool threatening to leave the corner of his mouth, “Did’ya see that blonde chick in the front row? She was hardcore eye-fucking you dude.”

“Ah,” Semi takes another swig of his beer, a cute flush blossoming in his cheeks.

Wait, what. Cute?

“She gave me her number when we were gathering up our stuff.” He runs his hand through his hair.

“You gonna hit her up or what?” Aito teases, smirking.

The singer shrugs, “Maybe, I dunno.”

Your breath hitches, and Aito’s smirk widens. You raise your eyebrows at him, silently telling him to fuck off.

“Where’s Kai?” you hear Semi ask. Come to think of it, you haven’t seen the drummer since after the show was over.

“Oh,” the guitarist laughs, “Fucker left us for some girl he saw in the bar. Might see him tomorrow morning, might not. Who knows?”

The vocalist hums and walks over to where you’re sitting, plopping down on the old couch.

“The managers?” Semi casually drapes his arm on the back of the sofa. You feel yourself tensing as your heart races uncontrollably, and the singer looks over at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

Aito scratches the back of his neck, quickly losing interest in the conversation.

“They decided to sleep in early. Long day, I guess.”

Semi nods and rests his head on the top of the couch, exposing his defined jawline. His eyelashes look so pretty from this angle, they’re long and fluttery and they almost…

Huh?

“Eita, are you gonna hit that blonde girl up or nah?” Aito provokes, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You clench your teeth and reach for yet another bottle—your fourth one this past hour. Or fifth. You don’t bother counting. Semi looks over at you again, but this time his eyes holds a sort of concern in them. You scoff to yourself.

“Uh,” the singer looks at his friend weirdly, “Why are you so insistent on this? I did say maybe didn’t I?”

Aito laughs. You almost recoil in disgust.

“Oh nothing,” he chuckles, “It’s just that she’s really hot and she’s your type so—”

You stand up abruptly, knocking over some empty beer bottles by accident. The regret is immediate. You can feel the acid in your stomach traveling up your esophagus, tickling the back of your throat.

Semi quickly stands up when you clasp a hand over your mouth, trying your best to hold it together.

“Shit,” he mutters, “You okay?”

He rubs tiny circles on the small of your back, an action that’s supposed to be soothing but instead causes tingles to run up and down your spine. You shiver.

Another wave of nausea hits before you could respond, causing your knees to almost give out under you.

“Whoa there, angel,” Semi wraps his arm around your waist, holding you flush to his side to support your weight.

You groan softly as your head spins uncomfortably. Droplets of cold sweat is starting to form on your forehead, adding another layer of discomfort upon you.

“You wanna go to your bedroom?” Semi murmurs close to your ear. You shiver again. At this, Semi thought that you’re freezing so he drapes his leather jacket on your shoulders, holding you close.

You nod weakly as you try to blink the black spots in your vision away.

From somewhere around the room, you hear Aito snicker, “Stay safe!”

You turn your head around to give him a deathly glare, but all you see is a big blob of blurriness.

Dammit.

。。。

Semi takes the key card from your bag and pushes the door open, placing your duffel bag on the floor after

He guides you to the bathroom—with gentleness you rarely see from him—and sets the toilet cover down so you can sit on it while he wets a towel with the running tap water.

“You still feel dizzy?” he asks, voice soft.

You stare at his fingers as he wrings the towel and shakes your head.

Semi holds out the cloth and pats your forehead with it, the coolness allowing you to feel a little more refreshed.

“Do you want me to make you some tea?” he wipes the back of your neck carefully.

Shit. Has he always been this thoughtful?

You shake your head again, telling him that you just want to go to sleep.

He sighs and gives you a half-smile, holding out his arm to help you to the bed.

Semi still has it in him to give you a little but of privacy as you wiggle out of your tight jeans, looking away until you slip under the covers.

He helps you pull the plush white comforter closer to your chest, tucking you in.

Your mind doesn’t feel as hazy as it was a few hours ago, but the leftover alcohol coursing through your veins gave you a sort of boost to your impulses.

“Eita,” you whisper, reaching out towards the singer, “Stay?”

The singer halts in his steps and turns to look at you.

“Uh, I don’t know Y/N,” he starts, “You’re drunk right now.”

“No I’m not,” you say, steady voice proving your point. “Please?”

Semi glances over at the door and sighs. He chewed on his lower lip for a few seconds before sighing again.

“Okay.”

。。。

You’re struggling to open your eyes when you wake up, the harsh sunlight streaming into the room completely unfiltered.

Drunk you completely forgot to close the blinds, it seems.

You groan audibly, wanting to pull the covers above your head to hide yourself from this cruel world.

You freeze. Why can you feel someone’s soft breaths on the crown of your head?

Nervously, you reach out in front of you, eyes still shut closed. Oh no.

You force your eyes open, grimacing from the sudden brightness. Your eyes widen at the sight in front of you. Semi Eita, your supposed nemesis, is sleeping soundly a few inches away from you, arms wrapped around your waist.

What the hell happened last night?

A small squeak leaves your mouth as you fully realize the situation you’re in. The small noise wakes Semi up from his slumber, causing him to slowly open his eyes, squinting at the bright light.

“Morning, angel,” he croaks, voice raspy with sleep.

My god does he look pretty in the morning.

You stay there, frozen and unblinking. All the words at the tip of your tongue seem to disappear from existence.

Semi blinks, sitting up quickly.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he rubs his eyes vigorously, “I should’ve said no when you asked me to stay. Fuck, you were drunk and I—”

You grab the back of his neck and pull him closer to you, a small smile gracing your lips.

Your thumb grazes Semi’s bottom lip, dragging it down every so slightly before releasing it, enjoying the way he seems to unravel under your touch.

“Shut up and kiss me, will you?” you murmur, trying to keep your cool as your heart hammers against your chest loudly.

At this, Semi breaks out of his reverie and laughs, “I thought you’d never ask.”

a/n: if you’ve made it this far, please feel free to let me know what you think about this fic! and please REBLOG IF YOU ENJOYED mwah <3

© HAJIMINE — all rights reserved. please do not repost, copy, or claim any of my works as your own, thank you.

#❀ —𝐁𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 #haikyuu x reader #semi eita x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #semi eita imagines #semi eita #haikyuu x you #hq x reader #haikyuu scenarios #!semi

[444tsumu]

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

                          𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

                      𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

#matsukawa headcanons #hanamaki headcanons #suna headcanons #matsukawa hcs #makki hcs #suna hcs #issei matsukawa #hanamaki takahiro #suna rintaro #matsukawa x reader #hanamaki x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #au #hq headcanons #hq mattsun #hq makki #hq suna #hqhcs #haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #xxxmars #tw/drugs